#thegoldensage

[fallsekings]

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#pinned post

[angcrmanagcmcnt]

@thegoldensage​ ♥

“ Can't take back who I've been. ”

#you would be angry too.{ic | anger} #the roots i couldn’t keep.{canon v.} #thegoldensage #//:Dc

[angcrmanagcmcnt-moved]

Anger...does not like Hohenheim. 

Do part of these feelings stem from the fact that he bears significant resemblance to Father?

Yes. Yes they do. 

#don't think just run.{ic.} #if you knew what I knew.{dash comm.} #thegoldensage #alchemic-elric #gcldenchild

[gcldenchild]

@thegoldensage​ said:

“  you have to sleep eventually.  ”

injury/hurt prompts | accepting.

dizzy.  everything’s spinning around him and he can barely stay on his feet - he doesn’t know if this is just his usual hallucinations at work or ACTUAL exhaustion.  maybe both. both is possible. he’s been seeing ghosts a lot lately and passing out - hard - when he shouldn’t.  there’s a bruise underneath one of his bangs as evidence of that. 

looking up from the floor is practically a death sentence. it’s the only way he can keep his legs oriented - they’ll just get locked up in KNOTS otherwise. busying himself with working on multiple arrays has been taking its toll - there’s not much energy left in his bones. 

progress doesn’t wait, edward. for all you know, these might be the things to keep you alive. 

for once, it’s just the nagging voice of HIS OWN mind trying to eat away at him, trying to fuel his conscience so he can actively work against his body’s needs. losing a little sleep never hurt anyone - but he ...  god. when WAS the last time he slept ... ?  he can’t remember, just like always. 

“ you have to sleep eventually. ”

his chest JUMPS.  he feels his heart race far too fast at the sudden words, even though he should’ve been aware of his father’s presence in the first place. there’s too much now. too much. he can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t see - oh, his legs are buckling underneath him. that’s why. his point of focus just FELL.  he just barely catches himself, stomping into the ground just to keep himself steady - this is a fucking mess. what an embarrassment. you’re a mess, edward. 

“ i-i ... i-i gottit. ‘m f-fine - ‘s fi ... ”

he’s breathless just from that jump ... damn his weak heart, he’s a disaster right now. he couldn’t even finish his own sentence.  ... he may be sick - but he’s not about to show that. not until he can get himself safe somewhere to lay down for at least two days straight ... just push through it like always, your heart can survive it. 

“ d-don’ ... w’rry ‘bout it. ”

#he got wordy on me #sick boy hours with his fragile little heart #{|❂|} THE START OF A NEW ERA | ic. #asks #thegoldensage #tw hallucinations #hallucinations tw #tw sleep deprivation #sleep deprivation tw #tw heart defect #heart defect tw

[alchemic-elric]

Hohenheim,

I don’t really know what to say to you but I feel like I’m obligated to say something.  It’s so  weird when it comes to you because I feel like I’m obligated to forgive you when I really don’t want to. I don’t want to forgive you for leaving us behind like you did. I don’t care what the reason was. You didn’t even say goodbye and we’re your fucking kids.

Mom might have known but we fucking didn’t. Why didn’t you come back? Why didn’t you come back to check on us? You told me I burned the house down because I ran away well what about you? You ran away too. You ran away from us.  You finally come home. You finally see me again and then you just turn around and leave again.

Stop saying you want me. Stop saying you love me if you’re only going to continue to leave us in the dust. Yes, we’ve been adopted but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you in my life. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to get to know you. I learned Alchemy from your handwriting. From the notes you left behind in your books. We learned your craft because we wanted to understand why it was more important than us. More important than Mom.

I don’t know if I’ll ever understand you. I tell myself it’s okay to hate you because it makes the pain hurt less but I can never do it. How hard is it to look after your kids? I’m only a man now because I never had the option to be a child and that doesn’t mean I don’t need guidance. That doesn’t mean I don’t need parents. That doesn’t mean I don’t need you. Why is that so fucking hard to see? I love Mustang but I love you too. Why is it so difficult to see that I want both? I can have both.

You can’t get upset that someone stepped up where you failed to act. You can be disappointed but upset? No. You don’t get that.. Talking to  you is so difficult because you don’t hear the most basic shit. I want you in my life so why don’t you want us in yours? I don’t know why I’m writing this out  you’re never gunna see it anyway. Al said it would help and I just - I dunno.

As predicted - it’s promptly crumbled up and thrown in the trash. 

#tw; father's day #tw; depression #tw; abandonment issues #tw; abandonment #tw; neglect #tw; mental illness #letters that will never be sent #thegoldensage #promiselost - hohenheim

[wyrdify]

@thegoldensage​​ asked: “you’re in the hospital.” ~thegoldensage (maybe after the fight with father?)

Post-Trauma Sentence Starters | Currently accepting.

Yes, he supposed that made sense. When someone shuffled him into a car, he didn’t hear the destination. All he knew was that he made it clear to Major Armstrong that he didn’t want anyone else knowing about his condition. Outside of his Lieutenant, the Elrics, their teacher, Hohenheim, and the Major, no one knew. For now, he planned to keep it that way until his team eventually arrived. He was only here to have his hand wounds looked at. Nothing more.

The Lieutenant wasn’t at his side. Roy couldn’t rely on her to tell him how many steps to take or what obstacles lied in his path. She needed time to heal from her wounds, and she hopefully had hospital staff looking after her right this millisecond. But, without her there, Roy could only stand still until someone directed him.

Helpless---he was helpless.

“I need more information than that.” That voice belonged to Hohenheim, right? Right. “Is... is everyone all right?”

In the end, he’d be fine. He was always fine.

#thegoldensage #let the flames begin; ic #let the flames begin; answers #let the flames begin; promptedanswers #trauma tw #hospitals tw #[ have fun Hohenheim. you get to see Roy vulnerable and he hates it. ] #Be careful making wishes in the dark [QUEUE]

[edwards-shadow]

‘  i’m  trying  my  best.  ’ ~from Hohenheim (thegoldensage)

MISC  SENTENCE  STARTERS.

Pride was...confused.

The first reason being that the man looked exactly like Father and seemed to know about his family. Which would have scared him, at first, if it wasn't for getting the name "Hohenhiem" and remembering it from his siblings. Someone from a very long time ago, who knew Father before any of them, but...wasn't a homunculus...or human. Not according to his Big Brother at least. The second reason was with how quiet his head was. The Boy in Red was standing off...somewhere, Pride could feel his eyes even if they weren't there, but he was unusually quiet and still out of sight.

He wasn't brave enough to try and look for where the boy was, didn't want to have that conversation. Wasn't supposed to anyways. Instead there was a tilt to his head and a slight frown from where he was perched on the fire escape, looking down at the man who spotted him, "............try?" he asked, finally actually speaking.

#thegoldensage #[v: make a move] #((hello!))

[afuhrerswrath-a]

My current active blogs

@afuhrerswrath (main blog)

@thegoldensage (side-blog)

@jestersfmamuses (side-blog)

@fallsekings (main blog)

#out of wrath

[shiroi---kumo]

what form of love do you embody?

love as being known

[ love is knowing all of someone and loving them anyway ]

when tim kreider said "if we want the rewards of being loved we have to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known." and when joe wright said "The idea that these two people know each other, knew each other when they first saw each other. That they recognized each other from their future" and when micah nemerever said "it was a relief and a horror to be known so perfectly"

tagged by from @mielmoto​​

 tagging:  @kazeofthemagun @numberjack (you choose) @deathleads @zoragrace @regnantlight @knightshonour @angcrmanagcmcnt @thegoldensage @sanguinehaven @flameleads / @hawksights​ and you! Steal it from me!

#Finding Pictures in the Clouds || Dashboard Games #// yeah that's him

[livingisharderz]

“That looks like it hurt.” (from thegoldensage)

@thegoldensage

The boy puts on a strong face - his mother would expect nothing less. “It’s just a bruise!” he says quickly. Mom’s not around, but if he was a baby about something as stupid as getting a bruise falling out of a tree, she’d have some way of finding out. “I just lost my balance, that’s all, it’s fine, mister!”

#m: bj #afuhrerswrath #asks

[angcrmanagcmcnt-moved]

Scared child noises as she stares at the Hohenheim.

He looks like Father. 

#don't think just run.{ic.} #if you knew what I knew.{dash comm.} #//hohenheim tag tba #thegoldensage

[gcldenchild]

“you’ve been crying. i can tell.” ~thegoldensage

 @thegoldensage | suffer in silence. | not accepting.

he can tell.  he can tell, because edward is fucking OBVIOUS. he’s never hid tears. he’s only hid himself as a response. but this man - his father, his only one, because no one will ever replace HOHENHEIM no matter how he tries to fill those voids with other meaningless THINGS or PEOPLE - could tell where he’d hid himself. is it because of their blood ? or is it because he wanted to be found, subconsciously ? he won’t know, because his own demon has grown quiet. he won’t know, because the one phantom that went ON AND ON about their father always fails to rear its head when they’re in his presence again.

even if that phantom was the one to make his thoughts spiral into this crying fit, anyway. but brother was right. he was a mess - he was the cause of everything. he doesn’t deserve to cry in front of people.

“ s-so w-what ? lemme ‘lone. ”

please don’t. it hurts. i’m so tired of brother screaming at me. i’m so tired of his hands on my neck. i wanna go back to before everything. i wanna go back. please don’t leave me again.

“ ‘s ... ‘s none’a y’ business ‘f i-i cry ‘r not. ‘m fuckin’ fine. j-jus go back t’ th’ rest’a them n’ i’ll b’ back soon ‘nough. c-can deal with this shit m’self. ”

#hoho stuff has been in my ask box for a while but i havent gotten in a writing mood for them until now oops #tw hallucinations #thegoldensage #{|❂|} THE START OF A NEW ERA | ic. #{|❂|} INTERESTED ONES | asks.

[alchemic-elric]

You have Hohenheim wanting some of that cake. Would it be pointless to ask him to share? XD

He's shoving a slice towards his father with grumpy look on his face. He'll share. If he gives you his cooking though whoo boy he loves you.

@thegoldensage

#fallsekings #ask #muse speaks #thegoldensage

[afuhrerswrath-a]

“There is something almost poetic about two nameless men fighting to the death.” ~Bradley/Wrath

|| Indie Private & Mutuals only Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood Führer King Bradley ( @afuhrerswrath) & Van Hohenheim ( @thegoldensage) RP Blogs | Written by Jester ||

#fullmetal alchemist rp #fullmetal alchemist roleplay #fma rp #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood rp #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood roleplay #Hohenheim is technically nameless too #so I thought the quote was fitting