#the year of the goldfinches
My sky is orange.
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it’s been a hell of a year globally, but i think it’s important to celebrate little things that have gone well so pls reblog this with something that’s gone well for you in 2020 (in the tags or otherwise), doesn’t matter how small, and we can share in each other’s little triumphs.
i’ll start: my art has improved a ton across multiple mediums, and i’ve got almost all my grad school prereqs done now~
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12/05/21-Lakeside and home
I took the first three pictures in this photoset today of a nice sky scene in another day that had a few and landscapes on my lunch time walk to Lakeside. With the sun out it was pretty warm, and patches of grass appears to be rising promisingly to herald the hope of late spring into summer and the assurance of the dizzy days of peak butterfly season. Indeed I did see a few white butterflies around Lakeside, but it was maybe the flowers that en masse continued to provide the delight of the bright little things of nature on the walk. I took the fourth and fifth pictures in this photoset of two of the yellow shining stars of the walk, buttercup and cowslips respectively both helping to take over the landscape in a yellow and multi coloured carpet lately. The buttercup one of my stars of recent weeks had a spider on it today which was great to see one of my stars of the year I think. I also liked taking in the lovely little forget-me-not I believe field forget-me-not the sixth picture in this photoset shows this in the area I know as Marbled White meadow that I noticed on Monday this is an adorable little flower a general family of flowers I have loved learning the past year or so. At this area I got a nice sharp view of a couple of bright Greenfinches which was great and I enjoyed seeing lots of House Sparrows right in the corner I know as Kestrel corner south of the allotments as always here very busy birds.
As I stepped out of the entrance by the ditch here and inspected another fine patch of dandelion and daisies I was thrilled to see a butterfly and I made out it was a Painted Lady! I liked watching it very briefly getting a binocular view of it but it didn’t stay put too long and rather vanished whilst I was trying for a picture of it. Nearer to the home I saw a Painted Lady on the green too potentially the same one but you never know. This was only my second earliest ever sighting of a Painted Lady in a year the first coming three days ago Farlington Marshes. A butterfly which had its once a decade mass boom in this country two years ago seem to be about in numbers a lot this spring judging by social media and of course they are having a spring mass emergence at least which is a fantastic thing to happen as with more and sunnier patches of the day and warmer ones my butterfly season locally is raising its head nicely after a slight lull. It was great to take in its orange and exotic colours on the walk and I was happy to see it. I took the seventh picture in this photoset of a view in this area.
At home as I worked afterwards there was another chapter in a quite harrowing for some I think story of young birds visiting the garden with following on from the Magpie pinning to the ground and killing a young Starling last week when I first noticed juvenile Starlings visiting the garden on the Thursday I’ve seen and photographed them some many more times since. We had a couple more killed at least I think since but the Magpie doesn’t always carry the bird away so we had seen some young Starling bodies there one minute and gone the next. Something I jokingly and I don’t even know why it was one of the silly things I can say speculated about something that came true to an extent when I noticed the Jackdaw in the eighth picture in this photoset on the roof of the garages with a deceased young Starling. It was attempting to drag it but not really succeeding. However if this one was killed in the garden instead of elsewhere locally the Jackdaw clearly dragged it or picked it up and flew. This was fascinating tooth and claw of nature moment, I really am intrigued to know why they are carrying out this behaviour and how long it may last. It felt interesting to add a new suspect to our observations. I took the final two pictures in this photoset of a Goldfinch and view from my room looking down onto the back garden.
I hope you all had a nice day.
Wildlife Sightings Summary: Painted Lady, Small White, Black-headed Gull, Jackdaw, Magpie, Carrion Crow, Starling, House Sparrow, Goldfinch, Greenfinch, Woodpigeon, Feral Pigeon and Collared Dove at home, fly and spider.
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I’ve lived in a house with outdoor cats going on 13 years now, and while I have seen evidence that one of them used to kill squirrels, they’ve absolutely decimated our local bird populations. We used to have chuck will’s widows that nested in the woods right across from my house every summer, we used to have SWARMS of hummingbirds. Now even goldfinches are showing up less & less and it makes me sick that we can’t just bring the fucking cats inside
I wonder what they think killed off those extinct birds. Hmmmm
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11th May 2021: Green-veined White and Orange Tip at Lakeside, Starlings and Swifts at home and more
I took the first picture in this photoset today of more lovely young Starlings in the garden and I enjoyed seeing some Swifts gliding out the window too this time very closely over which was nice. I took the second-fifth pictures in this photoset on my walk over to Lakeside at lunch time, the noisy adult and young Starlings were around on the green out the front and in the trees as well which was great they’re at Lakeside too really dominating the area lately which is great to see. It was nice to hear see Starlings and House Sparrows taking nesting material in their beaks in the trees by the north east Lakeside entrance. A Goldfinch looked very beautiful among the daisies and dandelions with its colours on the walk too.
With the sun in and out when at Lakeside I enjoyed seeing some butterflies. Just as I was thinking this morning about Orange Tips that a change in weather after my week off April rather disrupted their season and was synonymous of at Lakeside for me anyway something of a lull in the butterfly season I enjoyed seeing a bright male Orange Tip with its orange at the end of its wings giving it its name flying by. I was so happy to see it. I also saw more white butterflies and I was delighted when one landed to really make out it was a Green-veined White another pretty white that you can often see where you see Orange Tips and I really found it so beautiful to see making out its distinctive markings. I enjoyed spending a few minutes with this butterfly. It was my first Lakeside Green-veined White or at least first definite this year after seeing my first of the year at Noar Hill at the end of my week off Lakeside is a good place for them. It was special to see this butterfly today. I took the sixth picture in this photoset of some bluebells looking great again at Lakeside and seventh of the Green-veined White I didn’t have my macro lens with me today but felt I at least managed to capture it with my big lens.
At home this evening whilst doing other things too the birds on the balcony entertained me again with this time a Woodpigeon coming in to feed well with some great views as well as another pretty Goldfinch too. I took the eighth picture in this photoset of one of the Woodpigeons, ninth of some nice wet flowers on the balcony something I am really enjoying taking in this year as I did last year and tenth and final of a nice sky scene another great day of sky scenes for me two themes I am having a strong year for. I hope you all had a nice day.
Wildlife Sightings Summary: One of my favourite butterflies the Orange Tip, Green-veined White, Goldfinch, House Sparrow, Starling, Blackbird, Robin, Swift, Lesser Black-backed Gull, Black-headed Gull, Carrion Crow, Woodpigeon, Feral Pigeon and Collared Dove.
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Tuesday 11th May 2021
Keep ‘em Peeled 👀
I’ve ‘borrowed’ this from Twitter and am fully expecting to see eight of these babies in our garden, if not all. Can you name them? (and I don’t mean choose Tom, Dick or Harry)
Birds are still nest building here, so we haven’t seen too many youngsters as yet. Here’s a few snaps of who’s been spotted so far.
The Goldfinch, House Sparrows and of course, the porch Wren - let’s call him Christopher (try and guess that thought process) have all been seen with building materials.
Gathering Sheep’s wool from Doug the Christmas Tree
Soft white feathers I collected on our walks
More and more materials are going in to the nest box, the latest is fresh green moss and sheep’s wool that I left on the log pile.
Here’s a timely reminder that I posted yesterday, but it bears repeating.
Some birds have been seen picking food and taking it away, obviously for nestlings.
Marsh Tit, above: Robin, below.
This adult is starting to look a bit the worse for wear now - as they do with all the hard work.
Some of the fledged youngsters are making efforts to feed themselves, with varying degrees of success.
Hhmm not sure what that was supposed to be, but it’s not for me.
A spot of sunbathing to warm the feathers instead.
and of course, while some are perfectly capable of feeding themselves, it’s the way of the youth to give mum and dad the runaround!
My final baby today, because they’re one of the cutest EVER, an archive photo of a Long Tailed Tit who got separated from family - fear not, all was well. We always keep close watch for any stranded or injured birds, because of the Sparrow Hawks around here. Really looking forward to seeing more little ones this year, keep reading for updates.
Just how much does it live up to its name.
ID QUIZ ANSWERS:
If you’d like to read up more on hatchlings, nestlings and fledglings try this link
Our apple trees have come to blossom and we’ve had the first wasps make their way indoors. In a strange coincidence after bemoaning the lack of Jays in our garden, I found out only this morning that they’ve been sighted next door...traitors! And, I just heard a Green Woodpecker’s yaffling laugh.
Last night we had some lovely new Majorcan potatoes with pork loin steaks cooked with homemade wild garlic butter and lemon. Green beans, asparagus and some left over butter beans in tomato sauce went with.
10/05/2021-Lakeside and home: Ring-necked Parakeet, young birds and more
I took the first picture in this photoset of Starlings in the garden with some lovely juveniles among them again, it was great to see them today once more. On my lunch time Lakeside walk I took the second, third and fourth pictures in this photoset of a lovely view of the green out the front well and truly covered in dandelions and daisies now and this looks so beautiful, some of these flowers themselves and one of many brilliant green trees I loved seeing today.
I reached Lakeside taking the fifth and sixth pictures in this photoset of some beautiful views as the sun came out. I really enjoyed as I tweeted pictures of on Dans_Pictures seeing so many of the young birds again, another group of Mallard ducklings looking very adorable, the Great Crested Grebe chicks quite close and of course those Greylag goslings which are everywhere. I spotted a Grey Wagtail fly quickly into some vegetation I believe, there are some nesting here I am told. I also liked seeing a Peacock butterfly and like I did when seeing my first here of this year in March I enjoyed hearing the high pitched squeal of a Ring-necked Parakeet. Then I liked seeing it dart out high across above the lakes it was great to see.
I took the seventh picture in this photoset of a nice tree seen from my room and eighth of the spider above the doorway which I photographed weeks ago which seemed to stay in the same place for a very long time so I wondered if it was still alive but I saw it move so it well and truly was.
This was on the way out for an evening walk as a firm and beautiful sunshine, whilst going behind clouds now and again as I tweeted photos of, was out well by this point. It looked so beautiful illuminating the pure and lush greenery of Lakeside. It was a wonderful stroll to take this in. I also liked seeing some tiny forget-me-not flowers in the area I know as Marbled White Meadows alongside the daisies and dandelions which was great. Tonight I liked noticing two initiatives on Twitter which my time outside this working day certainly allowed me to do, Connect with Nature the Mental Health Awareness week theme this year and Walk This May. It was a amazing chance to focus on what a brilliant positive impact being outside in nature can have on your mood.
Before heading out on the second walk today I loved noticing the Starlings with a a few young on the feeders out the front on our balcony seen from below and the young seemed to be based here as they were around for so long especially when I came back as their parents emptied the feeders a little. It was great to see and I’d not seen many birds on the balcony feeders lately. The presence of the Starlings seemed to attract others with both House Sparrow and Goldfinch coming to feed I got cracking views of them. I took the ninth and tenth pictures in this photoset showing one of the young Starlings and a nice sunny view out the front. A great start to the week with a nice sunset tonight too. I hope you all had a good day.
Wildlife Sightings Summary: One of my favourite birds the Great Crested Grebe, Mallard, Tufted Duck, Moorhen, Canada Goose, Greylag Goose, Lesser Black-backed Gull, Black-headed Gull, Carrion Crow, Magpie, Robin, Starling, House Sparrow, Goldfinch, possible Grey Wagtail, Woodpigeon, Collared Dove, Ring-necked Parakeet, Peacock, Small White and more great cuckooflower its really taking over the place in the wetter areas especially which is lovey to see.
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list in your status 10 books that have stayed with you in some way. don’t take more than a few minutes and do not think too hard. they do not have to be the ‘right’ books or great works of literature, just ones that have affected you in some way. I found this on @jessmcriano and I’m feeling pretty bad today so I randomly decided to do this to cheer myself up.
1. The His Dark Materials series by Phillip Pullman- I first read these books in elementary school and I loved them so much they made me dream that I would one day write a story that touched people the way they touched me; basically they’re the reason I pursued writing. I reread them every year as a source of inspiration, and also because returning back into the world of the series always makes me feel warm and fuzzy like I’m returning home. I love all the characters, even the evil ones, and I think the relationships Lyra has with Lee, iorek serafina, etc- all these adoptive parental relationships- is a large part of the reason I’m a sucker for the found family trope to this day.
2. Watership Down by Richard Adams- this was another book I read a lot in elementary school. The vividness of the settings makes it really easy to escape into the story. I remember being shocked that other people thought it was “too scary” because for me it was just the right amount of horror. Watership down is a perfect example of why books with animals tend to resonate with me; like a nature documentary it’s a harsh dose of reality. At the same time, there’s a ton of cool lore in this book drawn from human mythology, which adds a fantastical other layer.
3. Firebringer by David Clement Davies- yet another elementary school favorite. No joke I read this book like three times. The culture and language of the deer in this book is so fleshed out and rich, and I was invested in the main character’s journey from start to finish.
4.Six of Crows Duology by Leigh Bardugo- switching it up a little with these books which I read in my senior year of high school. Everyone and their mother has already praised this series, so I’m just jumping on the bandwagon here. SOC is one of the only books that truly lives up to the hype, and the sequel is just as good if not better. What makes these books as beloved as they are is the characters, whose heartfelt and witty interactions with each other are very familiar to me, being reminiscent of dialogue that can be found in the good old RTD era doctor who episodes. It’s a real master class in how to write characters.
5. The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt- not to be that person but I discovered this book before it blew up in popularity, back when Donna tartt books were a little more niche in the bookish community. I know the flowery-ness of Tartt’s prose can be over the top for some, but personally I’m in awe the way she crafts sentences. As much as I enjoy her writing style, though, I’m gonna be totally real- the main appeal of this book is boris and Theo’s relationship. The love those two characters have for each other feels so genuine and I couldn’t get enough of their shenanigans.
6. Deathless by Cathrynne Valente- I get why this book isn’t for everyone, but I love how infused with magic it is, like a fairytale. As toxic as the main romance is I couldn’t help but root for those two characters to be together- they weren’t good for each other, but they had a deep understanding about each other’s true nature that made them compatible in my mind. The ending always make me unexpectedly feel pretty emotional.
7. Beloved by Toni Morrison- as unpleasant as this book is in terms of subject matter, it’s a book that I’m really glad to have read because I learned a lot from it. To me this book is essential reading. Unlike the US education system which refuses to acknowledge just how brutal slavery is, this book doesn’t shy away from anything, which makes it really difficult to get through. But the way Toni Morrison is able to create something so poetic about a topic that is so stomach-churning is nothing short of sheer genius.
8. Revenge of the Sith by Matthew Stover - maybe I’m cheating a little with this since it’s based on a movie. But I think this book also stands on its own as a piece of art, while still respecting the source material. Anakin’s internal monologue here goes a long way to develop his character and explain some of his actions. The metaphor of a “dead star dragon” being used to represent his fear is particularly effective to me. It might be this book more than anything else that has cemented Anakin as my favorite character.
9. Darkstalker Legends by Tui. T Sutherland- a more recent read, this book has had me rethinking what middle grade literature can be. I truly believe this book pushes the boundaries of the genre. Anyone familiar with the Wings of Fire series will know going in that this book will end in tragedy, but what makes it worth reading is the way that it’s written- as if it’s a chapter in an epic fantasy saga- to feel like a small part of a much larger mythology, and that makes the stakes of everything that happens feel so much higher. the irreversibility of the characters’ fates really struck me.
10. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte- maybe the first classic novel that I fell in love with and that made me want to read more classic books. When I read it on my own the first time I couldn’t put it down, i was addicted to it like it was a soap opera. There’s some really despicable characters in this book, and although they have depth I appreciate how Bronte allows villainous characters to be villainous. I’m a lot less appreciative of the way people romanticize her characters, but that’s for another conversation. The book itself handles abuse with refreshing sophistication.
This is really just for my own personal record.
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since donna tartt seems to release books every 10-11 years (the secret history 1992, the little friend 2002, the goldfinch 2013) we should be expecting a new book sometime late 2022
New Garden Visitor
from Saturday 8th May 2021
You learn something new every day and yesterday I rediscovered something I already knew, so what I learned is that I should take more notice.
I spotted a bird new to our garden, that’s the third brand new-in-the-garden this calendar year and the fourth if you count the fact that the Goldfinch are now visiting and staying multiple times per day (ok a bit of a stretch I know)
Here we go...
“Oooh” said Crow “a Whitethroat”
We just assumed that’s what it was because we know Whitethroat come over and live just down the lane - we saw them last Summer, albeit always at a distance, up high on the wires. We thought we’ve got a female bird, at least we were right about that.
You can read all about the Whitethroat HERE. Both birds I’m mentioning in this blog are Warblers, which is a new species to the garden. We hear Chiffchaff (another Warbler) in the woods at the back, but have never seen one.
Later on in the day, it was pointed out to me that it isn’t a Whitethroat at all, it’s actually a Blackcap - and this is really confusing, as just like the female Blackbird who isn’t black, this bird doesn’t have a black cap. As is the case with so many birds, the male and female colours and plumage differ and the female Blackcap has a beautiful chestnut coloured crown.
Such a pretty little bird and luckily she liked the bird bath and stayed long enough for these photos.
Taking the plunge
The Blackcap is a green listed UK resident or summer visitor and in size is closest to a heavier Robin or a Chaffinch with a short wing-span.
Blackcap facts at the RSPB
There you go then, all very exciting, a new bird for us to learn, not only to the garden but a first ever sighting for both of us and we need to keep remembering that just because we haven’t seen something before, doesn’t mean it hasn’t turned up.
NEW BIRDS TO US IN OUR GARDEN 2021:
MY WANTED LIST:
1. Bullfinch 2. Chiffchaff 3. Siskin 4. Brambling
*juvenile Greenfinch and juvenile Chaffinch
Link to my regular blog
Sunday 9th May 2021
So soon after posting about my better nights’ sleep it’s all gone a bit to pot. Ask me who’s been up since 05.35, go on. Actually don’t bother, it’s a rhetorical question. After managing to stay fast on through the dawn chorus (currently around 04.25 if you’re interested) I was woken for the second time this week by rhythmic banging penetrating my slumbers. Knowing exactly what that means I flew out of bed and flung open the curtains while knocking at the window pane for added effect.
Crow had checked the nest box in question and declared it unoccupied the first time this happened, but there’s no way Woodie would be attacking for no reason.
We tried to nod off again but it was hopeless and so tea and toast in bed in was. As it happened it was just as well we were awake because for a good 15 minutes I was up and down to the windows as the alarm calls of a Blackbird and various other birds rang out.
The fence between our garden and next door is clothed in greenery, or should I say, much like Norwich, green and ‘goldery’ (just exercising my football knowledge there) and this area seems to be home to multiple nests this year. It’s adjacent to ‘The Corridor’ which runs alongside our house and beyond and is a tangle of all kinds of shrubs and some lovely Jasmine on our side. Crow’s nicknamed the whole area ‘The Nursery’
We stood looking out and saw several Blue Tits, a few Great Tits, Goldfinch, Chaffinch and House Sparrows as well as the Blackbird - a lot of them gathered in the big tree that grew out of the hedge, which is so popular as a staging post. Sure enough a Magpie and a Great Spotted Woodpecker were there too, berated by the mob.
What with fending off marauding birds and marauding Squirrels, it’s exhausting.
‘You ain’t seen me, right’ (A Fast Show reference by the way) Squirrel refines the art of camouflage when seen from a distance.
Talking of Squirrels, have you ever seen a Squirrel’s tongue? If not...you have now.
Talking of body parts - have you ever noticed how hairy a cat’s ears can be?
M. Flambeau’s been back this week, not giving the bird life any aggravation though, so at least we have one garden visitor who’s behaving and who’d have thought it would be a cat!
I’ve made myself think now (and so early in the morning) is there a plant called Cat’s Tongue, or am I confusing that with Lamb’s Tongue? Excuse me while I Google and while I’m away, linking back to ‘The Nursery’, this is always useful information...
OK, so, Lamb’s Tongue is the plant. Also known as Lamb’s Ear. Cats’ Tongues are of course, a small biscuit. I actually did know that.
I confessed to collecting sheep wool (tenuous segue) and feathers on my walks and I caught House Sparrows shopping from my stock again yesterday.
Her and Him
You can link that to the baby bird info too and look, talking of nesting and babies
One of these Robins is still feeding the other and they’re also flying off (to the front I think) with food, so I think they have nestlings and the other pair are bringing their fledglings to the food and bath.
Answers to yesterday’s rainy puzzle can be found
and I’m going to be posting another really exciting blog over there later too, so keep watching.
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A Matter Of Nature
It's mental health awareness week and another opportunity for me to grumble to anyone who will listen about why on earth we think there is still a problem with "awareness" and why we can't just do something about it instead.
Anyway, the theme this year is nature which is precipitating a deluge of articles about the benefits of walking through the woods and listening to the sea on your headphones when you go to bed inevitably making you want to get up for a wee.
But another momentous thing happened this week too when my daughter turned twenty and left me with no children in their teens.
"You'll be old in another twenty years," she tells me while polishing off a pain au chocolat.
"I already feel old," I tell her.
She piles up three blueberries on top of one another like the pictures of smooth stones you might see on the pages of a therapist's website.
I find the childishness of it a comfort.
Later we are out for a walk in "Happy Valley" a name that sounds cheaper than it is and always seems to belie the beauty of views across the Sussex fields.
We were out in nature but it was the nature of the people I was with that made it a joy.
For all that will be written this week about connecting with nature, walking through woodland, dipping toes in streams, and listening to birdsong it will be in the work of connection and self-acceptance that feelings of durable peace and harmony take hold.
The loving of one's own nature, darkness and light, is the portal through which it becomes easier to love the nature of the people who surround us and the physical nature of the world that we share.
My children have been instrumental in moving me towards greater self-acceptance than I once had.
When I look at them it is hard to feel anything too bad about myself if I could have had a hand in creating and raising two individuals I love with such intensity for their beautiful nature.
The view from the valley reminds me of one from a mental hospital I once knew.
Set in such beautiful grounds with sprawling verdant hills in all directions it seemed like a waste.
In those days everything looked grey no matter how colourful it really was. Connection with nature limited by an inability to accept the nature of myself.
Back in the valley, I'm watching my daughter pick all the filling out of her sushi and eating the rice while the dog dribbles on my feet waiting for a piece of pastry from a cheese and onion roll.
There's a gentle argument going on between my son and daughter about attaching parking mirrors to the car so that she can practice her parking.
They chip at each other back and forth in a familiar way from which there will be no resolution just a gentle petering out.
In the evening my daughter sits with her friends in the garden after the rain has passed.
It's May but they have blankets and hot water bottles as they clutch their Prosecco glasses and as I walk back towards the house a mixture of laughter and the song of a goldfinch fills the air.
The blooms on the cherry tree are as fulsome as I've seen and time passes so fast that it won't be long until the birds are swooping down to pick off the reddest fruits before I can get to them.
It is the order of things. Nature.
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We have 2 big containers of Zinnias this year (the Goldfinches will be very happy).
INTRODUCING: Samar “Sam” Amin
“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
Full Name: Samar “Sam” Victor Amin
Birthday: April 20th, 1995
Zodiac Sign: Aries
Occupation: Tattoo Shop Assistant at Tatt’s All
Length of Time in Crescent Harbor: all his life
Neighborhood: Goldfinch Valley, currently resides in @lilywhittaker’s house
Hometown: Crescent Harbor, Washington
Nationality: American, his mother was from France originally, his father is of Indian descent
Relationship Status: Single, not looking
Qualities: creative, loyal, fearless, passionate, playful
Flaws: impulsive, hot-headed, reckless, selfish, withdrawn
MBTI: ENFP-T “The Turbulent Campaigner”
Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good
Enneagram: Type 7 “The Enthusiast”
Y’all have met my sweet son John, get ready to meet my chaos son Sam! He’s a little careless and broody sometimes but usually a pretty chill guy with a lot of trauma to unpack – or in his case, to keep locked away forever because what even are emotions. He’s doing his best to find his purpose in life but as the son of a influential founding family heir that seems easier said than done.
THE FAMILY SITUATION
tw: death, armed robbery
Sam was born into an influential founding family of Crescent Harbor and has never really left the town, aside from a few trips to France to see his mother’s side of the family and go on vacations. That stopped when his mother was killed in a rather tragic event, an armed robbery that had never been resolved. While his father, Rohan Amin, has never had a very loving relationship with his sons, always a little absent and therefore distant, he’s tried his best to keep the family together but sometimes it seems like you can’t fix what’s already been broken into pieces for years and years before. When it comes down to it, Sam cares about his father and half-brother but he doesn’t like to show it - whether that’s due to the fact that he blames his dad for his mothers sudden passing or he feels like they remind him of her too much is something he’s still trying to work out himself.
Faceclaim: Avan Jogia
Hair Color/Length: dark and wavy, usually worn long or tied up in a messy bun when it bothers him.
Facial Hair: Sam thinks he looks like a baby when he’s clean shaven so he usually sports as much stubble as he can.
Complexion: clear, warm undertones, usually has dark circles under his eyes due to not sleeping much
Body: Athletic. While Sam can be terribly lazy, he usually moves around town quite a bit. Whether he’s skating or riding his boke, he’s pretty active that way.
Style: Sam doesn’t really care about whatever “rules” there might be to fashion. He wears what he likes and thinks is fun, even if it doesn’t match the occasion. He likes to shop second hand and isn’t scared of things that seem a little too out there to be worn by anyone really - he likes to take a risk, even if it doesn’t feel like it to him. Some might call his style eccentric, he just calls it his own.
Smells Like: Cigarette smoke, energy drinks and clean out of the shower - unless you meet him out and about skating on a hot summer’s day. In that case, sorry in advance.
tw: death, armed robbery
Sam was born and raised in Crescent Harbor and doesn’t really know anything else.
He gets out to Seattle quite a bit to party or just a change of scenery but other than that, he rarely ventures further away.
He wants to get out of the town so badly but at the same time not badly enough to actively work on finding a way out, as in he likes to talk shit about the town and its people but it is his home at the end of the day and he’ll get defensive (don’t ask me)
Even though he’d have the funds to move out (thanks Sam’s dad!), he hasn’t yet, mostly because his father isn’t home most of the time anyways and it allows Samar to stick around comfortably. He’s working on getting a place for himself though, preferably with roommates because he hates being alone with his thoughts for even a second but also can’t stand being around his father, despite the fact that he’s not even doing anything bad but my boy just doesn’t like being told what to do and he has nothing to say to him as their relationship is a little rocky
That’s mostly because he assumes that his father has some questionable ties to businesses all across the country and Sam is convinced that his side hustles have something to do with the fatal armed robbery in which his mother lost her life
He never asked his dad about it, so he can’t know for sure - his father’s also not a bad person just terrible distant and overwhelmed with the fact that he suddenly had to raise his two boys on his own.
Sam misses his mother every single day and suffers from her loss, though he rarely talks about it if at all. He only has a few people he talks to about it - but most of the time, he’ll gloss over it.
Sam also has a half-brother he’s got a kind of rocky relationship with but ultimately, he’d do anything for him! (this is an open connection *wink-nudge*)
Deep down he cares deeply about the people close to him but has a hard time showing them or letting them know. He’s trying though and even though he’s moody and has a hard time with grey areas, Sam tries not to see the world in black and white all the time
He’s very sociable and kind when he has to be, he likes being around people unless he wants to lock himself away for days on end just to sulk. Sometimes he’ll pick fights but not as much as he used to - that’s the only aspect in life where he mellowed out though.
Even though he was a horrible student, Samar likes learning new skills and is good at a lot of them, even if he doesn’t quite realize. He likes to skate, play the guitar, sometimes he even writes random lyrics, sketches or reads, though he’s usually too restless for that and sticks to the more active hobbies he has.
Sadly, he’s not exactly scared of getting into trouble still. His carelessness often gets in the way when he’s taking the concept of Hedonism a little too far which leaves him with making reckless decisions that he doesn’t really regret – to him it’s all about learning from his experiences. Or not learning anything from them at all which usually ends up in a repetition of that same mistake in an endless loop.
He’s aware of his privilege but also tends to get a little too into the “woe is me” zone occasionally. He appreciates it when he gets snapped out of it though.
He is also pretty generous, since he doesn’t really care about money, even if it doesn’t seem that way. If you need money or someone to buy you a drink? Sam’s your guy and he’ll do it, no questions asked.
All in all he’s a good guy who’s really just trying to figure himself out and wants to find a place for him in the world in the midst of all the chaos but so far, he’s not been too lucky.
I’m currently working on a connections page but if you’d like to plot or connect him with your muses, just throw your ideas at me and we can figure something out!
I’m also currently reworking his bio a little to tweak some things. Until then, you can find his rather outdated one here and some more musings here. 💕
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having some kind of breakthrough. bear with me. so ive known that i like women for about 8 years now but i’ve never had a real girlfriend. there have been women in my life but theres always been something holding one of us back. i saw a tiktok the other day about women being scared to be with women because we fear what we want the most and ive been thinking about it a whole lot. i’ve (clearly) consumed a lot of content over the years with gay male characters and with male characters that i read as gay, but i’ve consumed soooo much less content about gay female characters. i get so hyperfocused on gay male relationships in media (the most intense being the goldfinch, like, obviously) but i could probably list on one hand the movies and books i’ve felt genuinely invested in centering around wlw (obviously part of the reasoning for this is that there’s much less lesbian media that gay male media but still i tend to avoid it). for example, i have a book in my room that i’ve had for about a year now that i ordered in part because it has lesbian characters and i still haven’t even unwrapped it. when i ask myself why, i don’t have an answer. im interested in the book. i want to read it, and yet i don’t. it’s the same with stone butch blues. i own it, i’ve started it 2 or 3 times, and yet i don’t finish it. i think i’m taking the energy that i could be putting into consuming wlw content and actually getting a girlfriend and friends who are lesbians and bi women and putting it into content about gay men. im guessing my subconscious reasoning is that it’s still gay, so i still get that rush, but it’s removed enough from me that i can do it safely, with characters that are like me but not enough like me that i make myself toooo involved...
there are a lot of things in my life that i’m afraid to pursue because i know they’re so right for me at my core that i feel i just can’t do it because there’s risk of failure and judgement with all of them. ive come to the conclusion that my default setting is afraid and resistant to get too invested in relationships with (and even media about) other wlw because i want it so much and i feel so intensely drawn to it.
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07/05/2021-Lakeside and home
I was delighted to see the two Goldfinches in the garden in the first picture I took today in this photoset when looking out the window this morning. For one of our most regular garden birds over the last few years it was notable that I had not seen any in for a little while. I think in the nesting season they don’t tend to come in but there is always a point when they come in with spotty youngsters all of a sudden which is brilliant to see. I have come up with something of a coping mechanism for maybe the more stressful moments of working from home or working generally its just that they’re happening at home of looking out the window and seeing a Goldfinch/es when they’re in to make me happy and let me escape for a minute as my favourite garden bird. And I think I needed one today right when I noticed these which was great. I took the second and third pictures in this photoset of a Woodpigeon and another young Starling after yesterday it was really good to see these again as well. I also enjoyed seeing another Swift or two gliding from out my window through the sky without a care in the world. A bird I’m having a really good few weeks for as we roll well into spring. Going out for my lunch time Lakeside walk I loved seeing a bright camellia flower shining out in our front garden, its got a few flowers now this one looking really good in the sunshine and I loved taking pictures of it with my macro lens including the fourth picture in this photoset.
On the way to Lakeside I took the fifth picture in this photoset of a smashing scene of ripe green trees and a carpet of illuminating daisies on the grass these really have created some memorable and beautiful scenes lately.
I took the sixth picture in this photoset of some of the adorable Greylag Goose goslings again them and the one Canada Goose were around everywhere today again really. I liked checking in with the Great Crested Grebe family one more time before the weekend too and they seemed to be doing well. I took the seventh and eighth pictures in this photoset of views of the lakes. As I walked round by the westernmost lake I did sadly find a deceased Coot chick, whether taken by another wild creature or not I will probably never know but if as I would hope it was a Fox that had it or another bird rather than alternatives it adds to a brutal side of nature narrative I have been observing these last two days.
I took the final two pictures in this photoset of blossom and a view as I took a brief weekend starting evening Lakeside walk, where I did get chatting to a great person I have really done that a lot this week. I hope you all have a nice and safe weekend.
Wildlife Sightings Summary: One of my favourite birds the Great Crested Grebe, Mallard, Tufted Duck, Coot, Moorhen, Greylag Goose, Canada Goose, Black-headed Gull, Lesser Black-backed Gull, nice view of a Robin, Starling, House Sparrow, Goldfinch, Woodpigeon, Collared Dove, Feral Pigeon with a few more to the usual two seen around the roads, Carrion Crow, Magpie and Jackdaw all well today at Lakeside really nice view of the Carrion Crow and Magpie at home again as I tweeted a picture of on Dans_Pictures tonight, Swift and a lovely Small White butterfly great to see some again with the season a little stoppy starty at times for butterflies over Lakeside with temperatures cooler at times so nice to know they’re still present and continuing their season I did see this white at home a fair bit this week too.
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