#the way she speaks about fatness and overweight now is. so bizarre

[letscuttothefeeling]

season three episode one

Okay everyone, Siesta Key just ended and I must say – I’m overall VERY pleased with the premiere of Season 3. Even though I know everything that’s happening in this season because I created a reddit account specifically for access to a thread dedicated to all things SK, and because they posted everything that happens on the Siesta Key Instagram, I was still shocked by one thing: how much I enjoyed the episode. Let’s cut to the feeling.

Fade in. There he is – the mystery man I’ve been dying to meet – SCOTT. That’s right, Fabienne’s husband. You may know him as Juliette’s Father. Chic French queen Fabienne and confused husband Scott congratulate Juliette on her graduation from FSU and suggest she become an attorney. Juliette has plans of her own – retail. They look elated. After making a weird sex joke to her Dad, and having visible difficulty adjusting to her new veneers, Juliette has graduated, the scene is over, and I am feeling great about the season.

If you’ve ever watched SK, you know three things for sure. 1. Juliette is a hideous crier. 2. Canvas’ Mother has a complete lack of understanding when it comes to parenting. 3. Kelsey and Juliette do NOT get along. UNTIL NOW! It’s very exciting to see their first scene as not only friends – but also roomies! Even though Kelsey’s bizarrely shaped eyebrows, over plumped fake lips and orange spray tan make me feel like she must have NO real friends, because certainly, they wouldn’t let her butcher her appearance so thoroughly, she and Juliette seem to get along swimmingly by talking mad shit about Chloe. We love to see women supporting women by talking shit about other women.

Chloe, you minx! Chloe pulls up to Alex’s mansion in a Bentley toting about ten designer bags and a serious attitude. After she explains to his mother that she’s taken it upon herself to pickuppe some “luxury” clothing items for Alex in Sarasota, Florida, even though he’s quite literally in EUROPE, she also *subtly!* drops that he’s left behind his personal credit card for her own use. Weird brag, but more importantly: cha-ching! After talking shit about Juliette to a grown woman, they switch the conversation to Madisson’s new man. Queue Malibu by Miley Cyrus. Ma-jor props to whoever created the playlist for this epi.

After a stunning underwater montage from Florida to Cali, we see aspiring model/actress Maddison walking into a dinner date. Even though Chloe’s just gabbed to Alex’s mother that Braddison is no more, I still half expect BG to pop up and hold the door open for Madi. Just kidding, I don’t, because the producers of this show spilled quite literally every twist before it aired. Wait, speaking of producers – who is Madisson on a date with? Oh, it’s “ISH”, the FORTY-SIX-YEAR-OLD, BALD, AND OVERWEIGHT FORMER PRODUCER OF SIESTA KEY. Unlike Juliette’s father, Scott, I’ve met Madisson’s Dad before, so it’s not immediately apparent to me as to why she has serious Daddy issues. I’m hoping the root of this unfolds during the season. Ish, or “baby” as Madisson calls him, (again, he’s 46, so I’m not sure “baby” is the most fitting nickname, but to each her own) decides it will be totally normal to jet back to the key and surprise the children he used to exploit the cast with the announcement of his new relationship. I can’t wait.

Okay, we’re back at a dinner date – but a much more age-appropriate one between Juliette and her new man, former bachelorette contestant, Robby. I’m not a bachelor franchise fan and unfortunately for Robby, I’m NOT a Robby fan either. He’s not hot and he’s not cool. That’s literally it. Discussing this further would be a waste. Oh, it’s worth noting that new roomies Chloe and Madisson also meetuppe during this time to discuss Madisson and Ish. (Mish, if you will. Some prefer Dadisson.) Thank you, Chloe, for reacting to the news in a very relatable way by chugging alcohol and hiding in your clothing.

Um, who is this hottie emerging from a PJ? It’s the fabulous Cara, with a new nose! Normally I love to hate her - she has that je ne sais quoi – but right now, I just love her. Removing your nose job bandages on film is the kind of 2020 realness I need in my life. Enter G BABY! We’ve missed you and your utter lack of awareness, Garrett! But the love birds aren’t exactly happily reuniting – there’s def some tension in the air. Uh oh! Cara immediately becomes annoyed that Garrett both broke her heart AND kept his lips shut about her new nose. Poll – would you rather your boyfriend intentionally squeeze your fat as fuck thighs, or neglect to comment on your surgically enhanced face? The choice is yours.

While Juliette’s graduation party is great, if Alex doesn’t throw a start-of-the-summer rager, I’m suing MTV. More specifically, I’m suing YOU, Gary. Anyways, as Juliette and de ghurls are getting ready for the party, Juliette’s asked who she likes boning more – Boring Robby or shrek Alex. She hesitates for a moment but then says Robby. I take that pregnant pause as a confirmation of what I’ve known all along – Alex is great in bed and that’s the only reason Juliette was obsessed with him. (Edit – this has been confirmed on her Instagram story.)

Cut to: Cara, G baby, and Cara’s new androgynous and likely lesbian friend, Victoria, getting drinks. I don’t know what’s more confusing – the fact that Cara claims Victoria is her best friend or the fact that Garrett continues to piss Cara off by defending Kelsey while she incessantly brings her up.

Party time! But it wouldn’t be a party without Chloe intervening in something that has nothing to do with her in an attempt to destroy Juliette’s happiness. While wearing a Kentucky derby inspired hat/headband, nonetheless! Chloe and Amanda sit down with Boring Robby the second he arrives to grill him with some genual questions about his “intentions” with Juliette. And I can’t help but immediately think of that scene in Twilight when Police Chief Charlie Swan pulls out his shotgunné to intimidate his daughter’s 108-year-old vampire soul mate. Thank you, Catherine Hardwicke/ Stephanie Meyers, for this image.

At this point, I have to question Chloe’s sexuality because I can’t think of a single other reason as to why she would be so invested in Juliette’s relaysh with Robby. Is he a “phony”, simply using Juliette for fame? Maybe! But aren’t they all kind of doing that anyway? It’s like, they’re on a reality show for God’s sake. After Boring Robby says absolutely nothing of interest, (read: BORING Robby,) something actually exciting happens. Kelsey slithers over to publicly flirt with G baby in an attempt to piss off Cara, and it totally WORKS! Nice!

The second Cara sees Kelsey and G baby talking, her eyes fill with fire and she almost burns her new nose off. It’s funny that she portrays herself as such a sophisticated, cosmopolitan gal, yet she’s so blatantly insecure about trashy Kelsey and Garrett, the braindead body of meat, talking about absolutely nothing. Stop slumming it and start dating Zaddies like Madisson!

After Garrett tells Kelsey that Cara has banned him from talking to her, Kelsey marches up to Cara, grabs her by the hand, and you just KNOW the rumors are true – World War III is HAPPENING! Kelsey and Cara immediately establish that they’re not each other’s “kind of person”, and then Kelsey tells Cara that she can’t wait for Cara’s “life to explode.” Cara fires back with the ULTIMATE diss, claiming that Kelsey doesn’t even have her GED! We find out this is, in fact, not true via Instagram, thanks to Kelsey’s iconic photo of none other than GARRETT holding her on her graduation day. Okay, high school level educated kween! Go off!

Pls note caption

Here’s the thing: I dislike Cara and Kelsey, both for entirely different reasons, but IMO, Kelsey won this round. Cara came off as insecure, psychotic, and just plain mean! Cara, a word of advice? Stop gallivanting around tacky Florida and return home to America’s Kingdom – New Jersey.

 Pay close attention everyone - we’re almost done and you’re about to witness reality show television HISTORY. And it is a BAG. OF. WEIRD. After Boring Robby buys Juliette a trip to Greece, Madisson and her new Dad man walk in, and EVERYONE IS SHOOK. Seriously. The cast is genuinely shocked. Please note their faces when Madisson and Ish waltz into Juliette’s grad party hand in hand. Arguably the most thrown off person of all, of course, is BG. He hastily confronts his former producer, and refers to Ish’s relationship with his ex as a “bag of weird.” Honestly, Brandon, I have to agree with you. And so does literally everyone else in the world.

After Brandon huffs, puffs, and exits, everyone gets over the initial shock of Madisson’s upsettingly old “boy”friend and the episode winds down. But there’s one twist. We learn via Chloe’s texts that Alex is on his way back from Europe. Probably wearing all the luxe clothes Chloe shipped him from Siesta Key. Because who trusts European clothes, am I right? Anyways, something tells me that Boring Robby doesn’t stand a chance once Alex touches down on the Key. But we’ll have to wait until next week to find out.

Fin

[writingmylove]

It's you

A/N yay my first Seb one shot!!! I wrote this because I know how often I feel like I wouldn't be good enough and know others must too so I wanted to write something for all of you girls who get insecure and I want you to know you are beautiful and you deserve the best and don't settle for less, okay?!

Hope you enjoy xx

It was just your luck that the weather app on your phone had told you it would be slightly warm and sunny today. You had put on a lovely light blouse and your most comfortable work trousers for your meeting. Except, the app had gotten it wrong. It was a horrible day and now here you were, trudging down the wet London street with your top half see through and hanging off you at a funny angle and your trousers sticking to you in bizarre places causing you to feel twice as big as you normally did.

It might have been okay if the training and conference you'd attended had actually been worth the 2 hour trip but no, that had also been a waste of your Saturday. You grumbled to yourself as you sped down the street with your head ducked, trying to avoid the rain ruining your make up like it had your hair.

I just want to get on the train and get home. Maybe put on a crappy movie and drink some goddamn wine.

The thought of a hot shower, pjs and wine was enough to put a small smile on your face, you were a girl of comfort after all. You could never understand people who didn't immediately change into comfy clothes as soon as they go into their homes. One of life's many unanswerable questions you supposed.

You jostled the books in your arms slightly only to have your bag strap slip down your arm and clunk against your sodden legs. Taking all the books into said arm you attempted to use your opposite arm to hoist the bag back up onto your shoulders. Following the steps of Murphy’s law, whereby what can go wrong will, you were so lost in your attempts to rectify the bag you failed to notice the, also somewhat distracted, young man who was coming straight towards you.

Therefore, the next thing you knew you were landing, rather heavily you might add, on your butt on the wet concrete. Your book's and bag landing around you due to your reflexes letting them go to brace yourself from the impact.

You squeezed your eyes shut. Don't cry y/n. Don't do it. Not even bothering to glance up at your 'assailant' whom you assumed would likely have just carried on their merry way, you turned to gather your things.

You were taken by surprise however, when a hand came into your vision, handing you your bag.

"Oh thank you," You spoke as you raised your head to express your gratitude to the man. "Most people wouldn't even bother.." You froze, y/e/c widening.

Sebastian was frustrated that he'd knocked the poor girl down. It was the last thing he needed but his parent's hadn't raised him to walk away and he bent down to help her. He quickly grabbed the pen he had seen roll away from them both as she began to thank him for helping, standing himself.

He watched slightly uncomfortable as her face froze when she looked at him.

"You're Sebastian Stan." Her voice was soft and disbelieving and Sebastian took the moment to look at her properly. Her y/h/c hair was wet and dishevelled from the weather and her mascara had begun to run slightly but he was still taken aback. She was quite beautiful really, despite her bedraggled appearance.

You felt amazed. You could not believe it. "You're Sebastian Stan."

He nodded stiffly, glancing at you wearily.

"I am." He noticed your face paling slightly. "Are you okay?"

You composed yourself, at least enough to form a sensible answer and maybe be brave enough to ask for a picture.

"Yeah. I'm just a big Marvel fan." Sebastian smiled at that, he did enjoy meeting fans. He hoped she was happy enough that it was him and not one of the bigger cast members. It was nice to be accepted as part of the huge franchise.

"I never thought I'd ever meet anyone from Marvel. I don't even know how to.."

There was a loud shriek and a rush of body's. Sebastian had been spotted by other fans. You were shoved to the side by an incredibly pretty blonde who oozed confidence and spoke to Sebastian as if she had known him for years and he just as animatedly spoke back. As he had said, he loved meeting the fans.

It was then that you noticed your appearance in a nearby shop window and your stomach dropped.

"Um, I'm just gunna.." Sebastian started as he watched her face quickly pale and she turned on her heel, speedily walking in the direction he had come from. He frowned a bit. It was not every day a fan had that sort of reaction to meeting him. He then noticed her glance at her reflection a few shops down and noticed the way her figure slumped afterwards. He wanted to call after her but his attention was, of course, quickly brought back to the fans around him and he placed a grin on his face and signed and chatted away with them all before making his leave.

Upon continuing his journey, Sebastian noticed he was still clutching something in his hand and looked down only to see the pen he had picked up for the girl from earlier with a name written across it.

..............................................................

You stifled back the sobs as you pushed open your front door. You had met one of your favourite Marvel actors and had looked, quite possibly, like you belonged in a homeless shelter. What must he have thought? As an actor he was surrounded by beautiful women both famous and as fans the kind that were tall and slim with long hair and glowing tans, he must have been disgusted at the sight of you.

Stripping your clothes off you stared at your reflection in the bathroom. You were not tall, that was plain as day. You weren't overweight by any means but you could see where the fat sat on your tummy and upper back, you weren’t tall nor were you particularly confident around men. With a heavy sigh you turned to shower and subsequently bury yourself in blankets before you had to think about your Sunday chores and preparing for work the following day.

...........................................................

Sebastian stared at the doorway in front of him. Was he actually going to do this? The nerves in his stomach were growing each passing second. Taking the plunge he pushed through into the reception area, immediately going to the desk to speak with the woman sat there.

"Hi. I'm looking for a y/n l/n? I think she might work here." He shifted uncomfortably as he spoke. He felt like a major stalker right now, what had he been thinking?

"Of course sir, may I ask your name?" The older woman smiled kindly at him and it was clear she had no idea who he was and he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Sebastian. Sebastian Stan." The woman nodded and turned to pick up the phone next to her.

"Penny," The receptionist glanced at him, smiling reassuringly. "Is y/n not at her desk?"

The woman nodded at something Penny must have said.

"There's a Sebastian Stan here to see her." A pause. "Okay, thank you Penny."

The woman turned back to him, putting the phone down. "You can go on up Mr Stan. Second floor, door on the right."

He turned to walk up the stairs. What are you doing Stan! Turn around now this is ridiculous!

He shook his head to be rid of the thoughts and continued his way up.

................................................................

"y/n!" You turned your head from where you stood by the supply cupboard to look at your colleague.

"Apparently there is a Mr Sebastian Stan downstairs for you." Penny sent a grin in her friends direction. Penny had been informed about your debacle in London the other day and you shook your head at her words.

"That isn't even the slightest bit funny, Pen. Sod off." You turned your back to her again, hearing her murmur something to which you paid no mind as you grabbed more staples and sat back down at your desk, pushing your glasses back up from where they had slipped down your nose.

Sebastian was entranced. You had yet to notice him lingering in the doorway and it gave him an opportunity to look at you properly as you sat at your desk hidden in the corner of the room. Unlike the other day, you were bone dry. Your hair was a lovely y/h/c and shined underneath the lights above you. He could see the way your nose was scrunched up as you studied your computer screen and thought it was adorable. He took his chance and knocked against the door frame.

Your head snapped up as you heard a knock by the door. No one who worked here ever knocked.

"Hi, I'm Sebastian Stan. I'm looking for y/n l/n, I was told it was okay to come up?" His voice shook slightly as he addressed the room, his eyes lingering on your shocked face.

"What the hell is going on? How did you find me here?" The utter disbelief in your voice was prominent to all present and Sebastian cleared his throat before speaking.

"Your pen. It has your name and the company on it. I picked it up when we were in London." He moved slightly towards you and your eyes narrowed.

"Why have you come all the way here to give me back my pen?"

"I had to see you again."

You froze, once again. You had misheard that surely? The question must have been clear on your face because Sebastian continued after a beat.

"I saw how you looked at your reflection after the other fans came over and you walked off." You glanced at the floor, face reddening in mortification and you shifted uncomfortably.

"I had to come and tell you that I thought you were beautiful, even completely soaked from the rain," He hesitated as he took in the watery glance you shot him at his words.

"You can't think I'm beautiful, not when there are other girls out there like from London." Your voice betrayed you and cracked as you spoke.

Sebastian smiled then, stepping up to be stood in front of you he took your hand in his.

"Yet here I am. I came to find you, not them."

You looked at your hand intertwined with his and you felt calm. A soft look graced your features and you smiled up at him.

"What do you say, love? Go on a date with me?"

And you nodded.

#avengers #bucky barnes #marvel #seb stan #sebastian stan #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan one shot #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan x you #seb stan x reader #seb stan imagine

[hardwarevent]

Revitalization

So I haven’t really posted in a week or two. I would like to say there have been really interesting breakthroughs.... there have been, kinda. That being said, I think that I feel more different, for some reason? Confident? I dunno. I’m currently halfway through week 10 of 13 total weeks of p90x. Thats, like, day 66/90. I definitely feel stronger. I flex my biceps, and you see the definition and veins in the mirror. You can even almost see some ab area definition. I weighed myself today, and I was down to 165, so I guess my diet and exercise is a 1-2 punch of improvement for my body. On OKCupid you can give your body type, whether its overweight or average or fit or ripped, etc. I put myself down as fit, but now I actually believe it, instead of it being a little white lie. I’m starting to look good, I think. If i give myself a decent haircut, get a classier wardrobe, and smile more, sit up straight more, I think I could definitely not look shitty. Which is cool. And you know what? About the being single thing... when you’re in a relationship, or you’re married, you lose a lot of motivation, you don’t really try to turn yourself into your best self. Why? Because you’ve already got the girl, and a job probably, and it’s like, why try to be good-looking still, when you already have regular kisses/makeouts/sex/romantic attention in general? You don’t, man. You don’t work out, you don’t work on yourself. Well, that’s not true. Honestly, it depends on your motivation. Sure, there’s the girl motivation, but there’s also, like, self-improvement. And I can see that. As much as I dislike working out, and the 1.5-2 hours a day it takes me usually, I’m pretty happy when I’m finished, cuz I know I’m one step closer to being the best person I can be. I feel accomplished. 

When someone, like, plays WoW, and spends 3 hours raiding and gets 1 or 2 loot upgrades, they feel accomplished, like they set a goal, and it worked out, and they’re better now. It’s the same deal with working out, only you actually extend your lifespan and look better in real life and gain confidence and stuff, instead of having worthless e-peen. And I like that. I like having a better body than most of the old-ass dudes and guys my age at work. I know I worked hard for it. When they go out and get dim sum, I’m at my desk, eating my low-fat gross-ass tuna salad. When other people are drinking their beers and mixed drinks on the weekend, I’m drinking water. Last weekend, I was checking out M’s pull-up bar and he was like “yeah lets do it” and he did, like, 1 3/4 pull ups. That second one was a real struggle for him, cuz he kind of has a small-ish beer gut, and also doesn’t work out or anything really. I’m like “yeah man, those pull-ups are brutal, I could probably do about that much” and I bust out 5 of them, and I wasn’t even totally wiped at that point, I could have pumped out a few more. I’ve been doing this for over 2 months now, and even now, I feel like I’m the strongest and healthiest I’ve ever been. I guess right now I’m saying all this because C officially asked out their crush (of fucking course they asked HIM out, the dude is such a pussy, oh my word,  dude didn’t even make a move after like 3 fucking months lol) and they’re probably gonna end up an item pretty soon, and I’m really trying to convince myself that I made the right decision. Like outside of my anxiety about them or whatever, like every other sign points to me totally making the right decision. I was talking to M about my feelings about this, and hes like “Can i be frank? A lot of people I've told about your situation have said you've dodged a bullet.” And like... something about that line has been sticking to me. Like I was about to be stuck in something that was a death sentence. We talked about how since C’s mom was a narcissist and bipolar, they’re starting to show signs of that too. Which I can see. A few other people have opinions on C as well, that they’ve been apparently too polite to share but might share with me soon. I’m finally learning to not poke my wounds, too. When I’m tempted to go into their room to see if their vibrator has moved, or browse through the bay area furry group chat to see what they’re saying about me (C actually did shit-talk me in there yesterday, like that’s all she can do at this point is circlejerk about me to her gay-ass furry friends), I stop myself, or at least am significantly more hesitant. I think it’s really starting to not hurt. I think it’s really starting to be hammered home in my psyche that the relationship is over, and that’s ok, because they weren’t the one for you, and staying together would just prolong the inevitable. God, they totally have a “Can I speak to your manager” haircut now, cuz it’s more “androgynous”. Like, they’re turning into the radical genderfluid socialist SJW they’ve always wanted to be, since we broke up. And you know what? I’m turning into the actually-somewhat-athletically-attuned, confident guy I’ve always wanted to be as well, since we broke up. And guess what? These radically different people we’ve always wanted to be, that we’re working to turn ourselves into, we’re just not really compatible. I want a pretty normal girl who I at least consider somewhat attractive, and has got her shit together at some capacity, with optional nerdy streak. C, obviously, wants someone gayer. And more beta. And a pussy. God, I just wanna shove his 5 foot few inch ass into a locker. There’s like no testosterone there, no competitive streak, holy fuck. Every video game I’ve played him in, I have totally fucking aced him. Like, even if he wasn’t dating my ex, I still probably wouldn’t like him. But anyway, us turning into 2 different, incompatible people, that’s okay. I’m gonna be okay.  I don’t mind being single for a while. I mean, I’m lonely sometimes, sure. Well, a lot of the time. But as long as I’m really working hard to improve myself and turn into the best person I can be, realizing all that potential that people said I had growing up, that’s ok.   Oh, I’m headed to England to chill in July for about a week. I think there are some anniversaries or birthdays we’re going to be celebrating there. But its gonna be my mom’s side. It’s gonna be chill. Actually, you know what has helped me with confidence tips? I’m reading this book called The Game by Neil Strauss. It’s about this reporter dude, who’s like, “I’m gonna learn everything I fucking can about the world of pickup artists” and over the course of a year he turns into this fucking PUA god and there are all these rival schools of PUA teachings and he has these bizarre encounters with celebrities and it’s a really good book but ANYWAY it goes in depth about a lot of the techniques that PUAs use to attract women. As it turns out, a lot of it is just based on confidence and not giving a fuck. Like, if I smile when I walk in a room, stand up straight, radiate confidence, I’m obviously going to have a positive effect on whoever I meet. I mean, obviously doing the tricks and treating women like objects stuff isn’t good, I don’t want to replicate that, but there are a few tips on just being more confident. And it’s all about just letting go of being self-conscious. Just be more confident. And it’s kind of a fake it till you make it thing. Confidence is applicable in all areas of life, not just picking up women. So, I’ve tried to smile more, just in general. I’ve been working on posture, no matter how tired I get. It’s tough, but if there’s one thing P90X has taught me, its that the only way you get results is you’ve got the BRING IT. That’s what Tony Horton says, anyway. But anyway. I’ll be okay. I’ve got stuff to do. I’ve got to look on the bright side. And all things considered, my world is brighter than most people’s. I’ve got to appreciate what I have, but also work my hardest to get the best life I can.