#the way i am in love with zoya as much as nikolai is

[zmeydeva-arch]

there is... something to be said about zoya being a fresh water creature; she has a distaste for the open sea, yet she is always at her most relaxed when submerged in a tub. water is obviously one of her ruling elements but when mixed with salt and sediment well it no longer can sustain life, at least human life that is! there also is pure water in blood and of course zoya's connection to rain and the water found in vapor i do often thing about her capability to render herself entirely into mist as well but that is a post for another day

#i just find her hatred of the sea to be so funny all things considered #not to mention how much she loves nikolai and that IS entirely his element #the sea is in many ways what the sky leaves behind... and then made to fester and gather salt and coral and fish #𝖎𝖎𝖎. *ੈ ˖ ° ⥽ you gleamed like silver in the distance... ⥼ ⅋. about #anyways i feel like a million years ago i made a post about how zoya enjoys the sea and that ain't true i am rescinding that #she loves fresh water rivers and lakes thanks #anyways this is a very rambley post but just some Thots

[euphoniumpets]

Climbing over the wall | Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Summary: You haven't met your bethroted yet and from what you've been knowing by your overthinking, you didn't waste a second to come up with an escape plan that didn't go that well.

Requested? Yes by @lexilulove: Love your writing and excited requests are open!! I saw this on insta the other day and now I want nothing more than a Nikolai based around this idea. With Nikolai’s love interest constantly sneaking away during events and parties. Dealer’s choice if it’s an established relationship of it Nikolai charms the shy girl and the relationship grows.

A/N: ngl, took this inspiration from queen charlotte at the attempt of climbing the wall while george is behind her like ??? and that got me thinking about y/n and nik.

Warnings: painfully longing eyes behind Nik and the reader.

The king was late.

And you were growing nervous and thought of every possible way to escape the room.

You didn't enjoyed parties, in fact, you hated them. You didn't like to be the center of attention and it was even worse when you haven't met your bethroted yet.

You was a child from a duke and your father wanted you to marry since he worried of you that you would end up alone knowing that you were too shy to even make social intercation. You had been like that ever since you was a child and when your mother had passed away. Always so quiet and enjoyed your own company.

So, when the rumor had spoken that the king of Ravka was looking for a wife to marry, let alone to rule a whole country, your father had suggested you to him.

You had been hesitant but you wanted to please your father and said yes to the arranged marrige. You haven't met the king personally, but from what you've been told by the maidens and by Genya, Zoya, and Alina, that he's kind and handsome.

You've heard some stories and the rumors about the youngest prince that he was a bastard, but you didn't care that he was one. All you cared that if he was going to treat you right as a husband.

Genya and Zoya had invited everyone to the ball to celebrate your marriage and of course, Nikolai himself was late. Zoya had already gone off to scold Nikolai for being late while Genya was somewhere in the room with Alina, leaving you all alone full with nerves.

You scanned the room and saw an opportunity to escape the ball while nobody was noticing that you were gone. You placed your glass of champange down as everybody continued to chat with each other and the music played loud enough that nobody saw you slipping away.

You walked through the gardens but stopped when you saw a wall in front of you. You huffed with annoyance as you knew that you had to climb the wall over.

But you knew that it would be a struggle because of your dress that Zoya had picked for you and she would kill you for destroying the dress. ''Ah, what the hell,'' You muttered to yourself as you embraced that Zoya will kill you for ruining the dress.

You grabbed one of the branches from the tree on the wall and tried to climb up. Upon hearing, you heard footsteps from behind. ''Milady, do you need help of an assistance of some kind?'' You heard a male voice coming from behind you.

''I am, uh, quite fine, thank you,'' You spoke and didn't look behind and tried to figure out a way to climb up higher. ''You can go back inside and wait with all the other gwakes, '' You dismissed and didn't think much of it since you thought it was one of the maidens that had found you.

''I will, but first, I'm curious, what are you doing?''

''Nothing,'' You spoke and huffed.

''You're doing something,'' The man replied with a deadpanned look.

''I am not,'' You spoke. ''You are,''

''I am not,'' You argued and let out a sigh and looked at the tree in front of you. ''If you must know, I'm trying to ascertian the best way to climb over the garden wall,'' You responded and gestured toward the tree.

''Climb? Whatever for?''

''Because I think he may be a beast,'' You replied and placed your hands over your hips. ''A beast?''

''Or a troll,'' You responded. ''A troll?'' The man replied with an offended expression.

''Who are we discussing?'' The man asked. ''Oh, that is impertinent, none of your buisness,'' You replied and glanced back at him before looking around.

''The king,'' You answered after a short silence. ''From what I've heard: that he's handsome, kind, but some people won't even speak of him,'' You informed.

''And that makes you think that the king is a troll or a beast?'' The man asked. ''Well, I haven't seen him yet,'' You answered. ''And I'm overthinking things,'' You spoke.

''Ah, understood,'' He replied. ''You know, if I grab there,'' You said and pointed toward the garden wall. ''Perhaps you could assist me by lifting up,'' You told him and began to climb again.

''Uh, one question, you do not like beast or trolls? What he looks like matters?'' He asked you.

''I do not care what he looks like, what I do not like is not knowing, now, here, just take a hold here with a lift, I believe that I can make it over the garden wall,'' You said and went back to the garden wall and gestured him to help you.

''You want me to lift you over the wall so you may can escape?''

''That is what I said, yes,'' You replied and rolled your eyes. ''People will notice you are missing will they not?''

''Oh, please, they won't,'' You assured him and waved him off. ''Now, if you please, I just need a little help, come, make haste,''

''I have no absolutely no intention of helping you,'' He responded, making you pause before turning to him. ''I am in lady in distress, you refuse to help a lady in distress?'' You asked him with an offended expression.

''I refuse when that lady in distress is trying to go over the wall so that she does not want to marry me,'' He replied making you look at him with wide eyes and shock. Nikolai only found it amusing when he saw the reaction in your face.

''Hello, Y/n,'' He greeted you with a smile. ''I'm Nikolai,'' He introduced himself and you looked at him. ''Please accept my apology, if I had known that you were you...''

''You would have what?'' Nikolai interrupted you. ''Not told me that you were trying to escape?'' He asked with an amusing expression.

''Well, yes, I mean, I do apologize, moi tsar,'' You spoke quietly and looked down at the ground.

''Just call me Nik,'' Nikolai responded and looked at you with a kind smile. ''The king situation, it towers over us, accident of birth on my part, but I thought maybe perhaps, as my wife, you could ignore it, and I could be just Nik to you,'' He spoke.

''That was of course, before I found out that you do not want to be married to me,''

''I did not say that,'' You looked at him with an offended expression.

''Oh you did,'' He responded. ''I did not,'' You argued. ''You did!''

''It is not,'' You argued and paused. ''I do not know you,'' You replied and sighed. ''I do not know you either, except that you are terrible at climbing a wall,'' Nikolai teased and you saw the smile in the corner of his lips.

''You try climbing a wall in all of this,'' You gestured towards your dress that now was ruined for the ball and huffed at him.

''I was told that you were late,'' You replied and looked at him. ''Yes, my apologies for that, king duties you know,'' Nikolai informed and you nodded slightly.

''There you are!'' You heard Zoya's voice exclaim from behind as the two of you turned around. ''What have you done to your dress!'' You heard Zoya exclaim angirly. ''Zoya, calm down,'' You replied.

''She was trying to climb over the wall,'' Nikolai responded and you looked at him with a glare.

''Over the wall?'' Zoya questioned with a confused look. ''That's is not important, now we have to change you into a new dress,'' Zoya grunted with annoyance and dragged you from Nikolai.

''You will pay for this,'' You mouthed over to him as he looked back at you with a smile as Zoya dragged you away.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov x reader smut #nikolai lantsov fanfiction #shadow and bone x reader

[lilisouless]

Zoya: the theater group that was supposed to come for the anniversary of the end of the Ravka war cancelled, i promised a play!

Nikolai: don't worry, i got this

---

Zoya: remind me never blindly trust an "i got this"

Nikolai: why? they are making a good job on the effects, and they will do anything for money

Alina: shhh! my big moment is comming!

Jesper with a long white wig: But my beloved Mole-

Wylan whispering: Mal-

Jesper: There has to be another way!

Wylan shirtless and with a six pack painted on his belly with a marker: There is no other way, Alina. Its your fate and dying for you its mine, as said by the cool and not at all awful tattoo of mine

Mal: I wasn't shirtless when i died

Alina: in my mind you were

Jesper: i can't do it!

Wylan: you must!

Jesper: okay! (fakes stabbing Wylan who fakes a collapse) oh Mal, Rakva will honor your braveness, and i will always remember how much i love your abs...and personality and all that shit

Alina snifs: its like they were just there

---

Zoya: so..why did she choose that role?

Nikolai: she said it she wanted a loud range of emotions

Nina with a big fake black kefta: Join me, Alina Starkov! join me to the shadow side , HAHAHAHA!

Zoya: at least practicing her evil laugther actually paid up

Jesper: Never! you just will just steal my power!

Nina stomping her foot; but why won't you give it to me?! why-won't you give it to me!

Mal: and...now "the darkling" is crying like a baby...at least they got that right

Nina: You need me! you need the shadow!

Jesper: no...this is..BONE! (fakes stabs Nina)

Nina: noooo! i am dyiiing....nooo, why didn't i bring a blade proof kefta, nooo

Nina fake coughing: Alina...please...do something for me...

Jesper fake crying while an onion slips from his fake kefta: yes?

Nina: "cough" tell...Zoya...to give that little grisha, Nina Zenik (the cutest one) all the waffles she wants (fakes a collapse)

Jesper: now its my time to die too, Tamar. Tolya, bring me my boytoy

Mal: excuse me? "man toy" please

Kuwei enter the scenario while dragging Wylan around

Tolya: is he supposed to be me or you?

Tamar: he has an undercut, so probably me-

Kuwei: Sankta Alina, we can cure you! I can cure you with my axe!

Kuwei turning around,showing a sidetail on the other side of his face: this makes me want to do some poetry

Tamar: oh, he is both of us, like the detail that the arm playing me is more muscular

Tolya: its literally not-

Jesper: no...i´ll die, my job here is done

Kuwei as Tolya : but my saint! you can't leave us!

Kuwei turning around as Tamar: Ravka is still a mess

Jesper: And thats your problem now, so long suckers! (fakes to die over Wylan´s body as Kuwei cries)

---

Inej with a fake blue kefta: i hope all of you know how lucky you are to be on my pressence

Zoya: this whole play is awful, all our portrayals are so one note and exagerated, we are not like that on real life. My eyes are too good for this sight

Inej : A triple funeral, a country with no money (flips her hair) my eyes are too good for this sight

Zoya: everyone shut up

Matthias with a cardboard crown: Oh yes, and i am the king now, i was hidden to treat my injuries completely unrelated to demonic possesion and (looks up at cue cards) improbable...i am a pearl...something , something...charming

Nikolai: who let him play me?

Kaz with a cheap red wig and a patch before the big curtain falls : and i...was ruination

Zoya: always the need to have the last word

Genya clapping: as "she" should

#shitpost #grishaverse shitpost #to clear possible confussion the crows are all in the play #everyone else is in the audience looking #shadow and bone shitpost #netflix shadow and bone #six of crows #leigh bardugo #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #sab shitpost #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #nina zenik #inej ghafa

[igotanidea]

The love of rain : Nikolai Lantsov x reader

Request submitted as a part of my 1k celebration: Rain and Nikolai (thank you anon!)

Warning: some spice, but nothing explicit, apart from that just fluff

***

The weather in Ravka was whimsical, to say the least.

One day there was sun and clear sky and the other the habitants had to deal with fog or storm or rain. And most of them did not like when it was wet and dark outside, cause it was clear sign that they would be stuck at the little palace for longer than anyone would wish for. It was particularly painful for squallers and tidemakers, the rest were complaining but found their way to deal with it. Of course, it was possible to just use the Grisha power and dissipate the clouds, but nature was nature and there were still rules to stick by, one of them saying that Etherealki were not supposed to mess with it more than necessary.

However, there is always an exception to the rule, or at least they say so.

“Ugh!” Zoya grunted upon noticing the first drops on the ground “I can’t believe it! Why can’t we just make those clouds go away? I can do this.”

“Zoya” Nadia put a hand on her shoulder “you know we are not supposed to do that. King’s orders.”

“Well, someone should knock some sense into Nikolai’s head” the brunette scoffed, raising her hands, ready to call upon the wind “I need training. I want to train and I am not going to stop just because….”

“Surely you are not going to disobey, right?” Adrik came out of nowhere and chimed in “you are a soldier, you have to be obedient.” He reminded her and it made her sigh deeply in frustration.

“I hate it.”

“Yes, we heard you loud and clear, now come on, we have to find shelter before we get drenched.”

And just like that, all the Grisha assembled on the palace ground started running from the droplets, which slowly intensified and after a couple of minutes, the drizzle turned into full-on torrent.

“Aren’t you happy we are inside now?”  Nadia smiled at Zoya, but the latter was even more annoyed than before.

“NO!” she said firmly with a pout on her face

“Someone’s in the mood, today” a male’s voice came from the other entrance to the room and everyone turned to face king Nikolai himself.

“My king” Genya was the first one to raise from her seat and approach him

“I still can’t get used to that title” Nik smiled brightly “but you gotta admit it suits me well, doesn’t it?”

“Well…..” Genya started, but Zoya interrupted her

“Let’s just hope it doesn’t get too much to your head, you majesty.” She smirked

“If it ever does, I give you permission to knock some sense into me.” Nikolai chuckled at the girl’s surprised expression “yes, yes, I heard you use that particular expression. Just be sure to avoid the face, will you? Your punches are quite strong and I can’t risk getting injured in the most visible part of me. Now, is everyone back from the field?”

‘Squallers are at full strength” Adrik assured

“How about tidemakers, Annika?”

“As well, moi tsar.” the girl bowed gently and earned a smile from Nikolai.

“And what about Inferni?” he hesitated a bit

“I think we all know the answer to that question. Y/N is missing, obviously.”

“Guess that’s the aftermath of the time she spend on the ship with you in the role of Sturmhond”

“Good thing I know exactly where to look for her.” Nikolai started walking towards the exit ready to go outside straight into the downpour

“My king!” Genya yelled after him “you should not….”

“Oh, dear Genya, after all this time, you should not use the “you should” with me. Don’t you know I’m gonna do what I want either way. I’m the king after all” he winked at the girl without having any care in the world.

*** “You know, for an Inferni, you are strangely fascinated with water.” Y/N, who was sitting under the canopy near the waterfall, listening to the sound of rain turned around at the voice, a bit alarmed, ready to throw a fireball straight into Nikolai’s face. “Hey! Easy with that!” he raised hands in defense.

“Do not sneak on me!” she spat and then started laughing at the man, her eyes glistening with joy “you are drenched, moi tsar.“

“As if you weren’t.”

“I don’t really care. Besides, I got the heat, I can get myself dry, easily, unlike you.” Y/N smiled at him and reached a hand towards him “come on, we can both fit in here. Can’t risk you getting sick.”

“Oh, you are worried about me” he grinned sitting close to her, sneaking an arm around her waist and puling the girl in “That is just so sweet, my love”

“Mhm, sure. I’m worried about all your people and royal advisors coming after me with pitchforks because I gave the king the flu.”

“Pichfork?” he raised an eyebrow, but could not help a little laugh. “Why pitchfork?”

“I don’t know” she leaned into him. It was kinda funny, how she was the Infeni and yet, he was the one who was giving her warmth. The kind that does not come from the fire, but from the inside and from all the feelings she get because of him “isn’t that what used to be use to deal with witches? And I am a witch after all.”

“Sure you are. You definitely bewitched me.” Nikolai kissed her temple and she closed her eyes enjoying this. Maybe too much. “Besides, as the king, I choose to be here.”

“It’s just so quiet and peaceful, you know” she snuggled closer to him “unlike in the palace or in training. There just always so many people, so many noises. And rain, rain just make it all go away.”

“Like I said, you are one strange Inferni.”

“Maybe.” She sighed “you know people hear “’Inferni” and automatically assume those are the one who beams with energy all the time, have power and strength, and are always ready to jump into action. But hey, guess what, we are people too, we are tired and stressed and worried and need a break from time to time.”

“Hard week?” he asked rubbing on her arm lovingly and reassuringly.

“Like usual. It’s not like I can compare with all your duties. You’ve been busy too.”

“Is that why you’ve been hiding here?” he moved away slightly just to search for an answer in her eyes. “Don’t. turn away from me” his hand found a way to her cheek making her face him “Y/n, darling, tell me.”

 “I… that may have been the reason” she muttered “I just knew you would come to find me.” She looked down for a moment but then raised gaze and focused it on his face “Nik, I’m sorry, I just missed you and ….”

She did not get to finish as he leaned forward and planted his lips on hers in the most gentle, slow and emotional kiss that any girl could imagine and wish for. If she wasn’t sitting, her knees would probably gave up on her and she would fall to the ground. Saints, how she missed this. It’s been a week since they had a single silent moment together and it was all reflected in such simple, yet meaningful gesture. His grip on her waist tightened and he pulled her onto his lap, wanting her closer to him, enjoying how she let him hold her, touch her and kiss her. Just being with her was enough.

“I missed you too, my love. And I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving you enough attention.” Nikolai whispered nuzzling her nose with his making her chuckle since she was ticklish.

 “Don’t be silly, Nik. I am no one, just one rowdy Grisha.”

“You.” he pecked her lips again “are everything. My love. My bride. And the queen to be.”

“Ugh….”

“Still don’t like that?”

“I don’t think I’m the queen material.” She squirmed in his lap and it made him a bit too excited “I hate all that panoply and sumptuousness.”

“Do you even know me?” he groaned when she moved more “I’m the least pompous of my family. Do you remember our time on the Volkvolny? Definitely not a prince-like behavior back then.”

“Oh I remember some of that” she smirked locking hands on his neck and whispering in his ear “I also remember bringing the heat without using Inferni skills.”

“Uh… Um… yeah. You see, being a queen comes with one more benefit. “

“And what is that?” she feigned curiosity, even if the evidence was more than palpable

“You get to be the only person the king will kneel for….” He mumbled, kissing her cheek “Love.”

“Really?”

“Sure. I’ll leave with you with that thought.” With one single motion he moved her away and sat back next to him “maybe you won’t be hiding in the middle of the forest in the future.”

“I will. I definitely won’t stop on your account, love.” Y/N rolled her eyes and laid her head on his shoulder. There would be time to tease him and get revenge later on. Judging by the circumstances it would be painfully easy to make him fulfill that promise. But not now. “Nik?” she whispered, calming down

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Can we just stay here for a while? I need some peace…. And I want you with me. Just like this.”

“If you think you can get rid of me now you’re crazy. I’m not going anywhere far from….”

“From what?”

“From the person I love.” He answered and just to accent and emphasize those words raised her hands to his lips and kissed her knuckles gently.

At this moment she really wished she was a tidemaker or a squaller. She would definitely disobey all the rules of not messing with nature and will make it rain till the end of the world if it meant just being with him away from the world.

#shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone x you #shadow and bone netflix #shadow and bone x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai lanstov fiction

[padfootagain]

The Last Ones On Earth (IV)

Chapter 4: An Age

Hello, hello! Here is a new chapter for my Darkling series!

I hope you like it! Let me know what you think!

****

Pairing: The Darkling x reader

Warnings for the series: mentions and depictions of violence and warfare, mentions of trauma

Warnings for the chapter: None

Summary: You and the Darkling are a team, even if no one knows it. Beyond being a team, you are the only one he trusts, and he's the only one you care about, and you're each other's true love. But if you've kept your secrets hidden for a long time, now that the Sun Summoner is fighting against you, it's time to reveal who you are, and what you are capable of...

Word Count: 2744

Masterlist for the series – The Darkling’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Alina stares at you as if you were a ghost. Or perhaps a dragon. Or a strange mix of both.

You give her a minute to register your words, you can almost call them a threat. You doubt that she’s weighing her options, though. You reckon she simply tries to understand what your words mean.

And then it’s back. The pride in her gaze, the rise in her chin, the tightness in her jaw.

Stupid girl who believes herself important…

“You say you want to talk, and yet you use threats already.”

“Who was put in chains to see you again?” you reply with amused sarcasm.

“And we were clearly right to mistrust you,” Zoya crosses her arms before her chest, her beautiful features slightly distorted by anger.

“Indeed!” you shoot her a smile. “It was pretty reckless to let me see all of you so easily.”

“David vouched for you,” Genya replies in a grim fashion, and David averts his eyes to stare at the carpet.

But your smile softens as you turn to him.

“Thank you, David. That was very nice of you.”

You turn towards Alina again. You notice that her hands ae touching.

Your smile grows, this time, more threatening, almost predatory.

“Child, let’s not make a mess. I simply want to talk, I haven’t come to hurt anyone.”

“Say that to the soldiers outside.”

“Collateral damage, I’m afraid,” you shrug. “I’m not going to hurt anyone in this room, I promise.”

“If you side with the Darkling, is your word worth anything?”

You raise a surprised eyebrow.

“If you truly knew him, you’d know how foolish that remark is. The Darkling is a lot of things, but he does stay true to his words.”

“And by ‘a lot of things’, you do include mass murderer, of course,” Nikolai points out.

“Coming from a man whose main occupations are pirating and inventing mass-destruction weaponry, I do find the remark particularly ironic.”

But you heave a sigh, tired of losing time you don’t have. There is too much work to do. Grisha to rescue, friends to bury, a whole nation to lead…

“Now, please, Alina. Again, I will not hurt you, so come sit down so we can talk.”

“I’ve never liked you,” the girl mumbles under her breath, her hands slowly moving, and you can see glow coming from her fingertips.

You roll your eyes.

“If I fought every person I didn’t like, only three people in this room would still be alive, including me. And you would not be breathing anymore, Starkov. But as I can’t choke you to death with my bare hands the way I truly long to, please, don’t do anything stupid and sit down.”

With a frustrated sigh, Alina closes her fists, but lets her power subside, and at long last, joins the gathering around the wooden table again.

“We will not yield when it comes to destroying the Fold,” Alina stubbornly declares.

“I am aware of repeating myself, but it will not work without the Fold,” you reply.

“You cannot destroy entire villages!”

“You cannot force people to change if you give them a chance to remain as they are.”

“People can change.”

“They can,” you nod in agreement. “But most of the time, they don’t want to. Why would they? If what you are asking for goes against their own interest, why would they change?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do.”

You snort at that.

“Please… Don’t be so naïve. Of course, some people have enough compassion to not hurt Grisha. But the majority will take centuries to reach this kind of tolerance. And in the meantime, people are dying. Our people.”

“We are all Ravkan,” Nikolai argues.

“Are we? Because when I was arrested by your men a few weeks ago and kept in a cage without water, food, or anything against the cold for three days, waiting to be executed that more Grisha were captured because, and I quote ‘it would be a waste of energy to set up the gallows just for a couple of them’… without any sort of trial or justice whatsoever, I did not feel very Ravkan… but I did feel very much Grisha.”

Nikolai doesn’t answer, instead he looks guiltily at his hands.

“I don’t care about Ravka,” you answer in honesty. “I don’t care about Shu Han, I don’t care about Fjerda, or any other nation. At the end of the day, we are all humans. And we are Grisha, and otkazat’sya. The Fold is not to be used as a threat against Ravka alone, that’s the whole point. It’s the only weapon in our possession that is powerful enough for all Grisha to be safe, no matter where they come from.”

“I do not condone what has been done to you,” Nikolai finally speaks, his voice slow and measured. “But if people are turning against Grisha, it is because of the Darkling’s actions.”

You roll your eyes at that.

“This has been going on for centuries, it is nothing new, they simply have an excuse to do as they please without any repercussion, and they enjoy their newly-found freedom to slaughter all the Grisha they want. It happens again, and again. We have tried to be useful, we have tried to prove people we are no threat, we have tried working hand in hand with kings, and it doesn’t work. The Fold is our last chance.”

“You speak as if you had done all of that, but you are barely older than us,” Zoya spits in a venomous tone. “Who do you think you are, Maeve?”

“Y/N,” you interrupt her.

The girl frowns.

“What?”

“My real name is Y/N. Maeve is only my latest identity, I’ve had many of those before.”

Suddenly, Alina’s eyes grow round, and she finally seems afraid of you.

At long last, some intelligence…

“Are you a spy?” David asks, taken aback by your statement.

But you shake your head.

“Not exactly.”

“You are like him.”

All turn to Alina as she speaks again, her voice uneasy.

“You said you are a powerful Durast.”

“Incredibly powerful,” you correct her.

“You are like the Darkling.”

“Aleksander. That’s his name.”

He’ll hate you for saying it out loud, for revealing something so personal about him.

Aleksander. His first name, his true one. The one only you and Baghra know. The one that tastes of the young man you met all these years ago, unconscious in the snow somewhere near Fjerda…

 All around the table frown. As if they never wondered what his name was. And perhaps they truly never cared to wonder. Perhaps the title was enough. It’s easier, anyway, to stare at a man you send to die on a battlefield and see only a rank, a title, and not the human wearing it. It’s easier too to kill an enemy if he is but a shadow, a symbol, and not an actual breathing man.

You lean a little over the table, your forearms resting on the hard surface, your fingers intertwining together.

“Aleksander and I are extremely powerful Grisha. Just like you, Alina. Just like Baghra. Just like Saints.”

“I don’t understand,” Mal admits.

“Grisha draw great strengths from using their powers. The more powerful you are, the better your health. Some of us are so powerful, we are virtually immortal. Or, well, if you smash my head with a sword, I will die. But I barely age at all. I can leave for thousands of years.”

“Bullshit,” Nikolai curses.

“I’m afraid not. It is a great curse, indeed. But power always has a cost.”

“Some would consider themselves lucky to never age. Especially my mother, considering all her efforts to hide her true age…”

“Well, my dear prince, your mother has not seen people dying for hundreds of years.”

Again, Nikolai looked away.

“You said that Alina was like that too…” Mal insists, and you don’t fail to notice the way Alina flees his gaze.

“Indeed. She will without a doubt outlive all of you, and your descendants on many generations.”

“If it’s so unbearable, why are you still alive? We wouldn’t be in this mess if you and the Darkling had given up,” Zoya adds bitterly.

But when you turn to her, your stare is filled with a cold fire that shushes her.

“Many powerful Grisha kill themselves, after a while, after it’s too much to see all the people you love die over and over again. Aleksander and I were lucky, we found each other. And don’t forget that without our efforts, the Little Palace would not exist and Grisha would have never known any type of safety. We were the first to manage to live for longer than a couple of years at the same place, while using our powers, and remain safe.”

“You speak as if you were there when the Little Palace was built,” David frowns.

“I was there,” you correct him. “I built the place. Literally. I am a Fabrikator, after all.”

“You do expect us to believe you?” Mal scoffs, but Alina shushes him quickly. And you can see on the faces of the others that their opinion of you changes as they realize that Alina does, indeed, believe you.

And rightly so. After all, you are telling the truth. The way you had planned to do.

You choose your next words carefully.

“I have seen the same pattern again and again. I know what will happen, because I have seen it before. I have tried every other way to help Grisha: hiding, fighting, being useful, being tamed, being strong… it doesn’t work. It never works, because otkazat’sya are afraid of our power, because they feel different and thus frightened. You ask me to wait, that we are in no rush to change the world, but I have been working towards that goal for hundreds of years. I am not in a rush, I am patient, indeed. But things must change, eventually. And we have an opportunity here that will never present itself again for things to finally go the way we want.”

You heave a sigh, and you seem tired now. Despite your face untouched by the many years you have spent on this earth, there is something new in your gaze, a sadness that doesn’t fit the youth of your features. It seems ancient, brought by a pain too great to have occurred in only a lifetime.

“If you want proof, I can tell you everything you want to know. I’ll tell you how Aleksander and I met. How we ran. How we hid. How we fought. All the things that we tried to help Grisha and how it always failed. How we were betrayed and how we survived. If it can prove my point, then so be it.”

“How old are you?” Alina asks after a short silent.

Her voice is cautious, slow. As if she’s afraid of your answer. And perhaps she is. She should be. After all, it shows how powerful you are, how much of a threat you can be. To her, who is doomed to a deathless life as well, it also means facing the truth about her lover.

Your smile is smug when your lips curl upwards and you answer.

“I’ll turn 889 in a couple of months.”

Over 400 years ago

Os Alta – over the grounds of the royal Palace

Your hands moved relentlessly in those days. There was so much work to be done. You had help, of course, from otkazat’sya workers but also from other Fabrikators. It was the name that was chosen for the Grisha sharing your powers, along with a colour: purple, like the petals of flowers, like berries, like poisons…

But on this room, your work was to be done in solitude. No one could know about the changes you were bringing to Aleksander’s War Room. It would protect you from eavesdroppers, fire, and many other threats. It would be a safe room. Even if Aleksander’s plan in the army seemed to be working for now, you reckoned you couldn’t stop being cautious. You needed safety, as always.

“You are working too late, my love.”

The warm voice filled your heart with something both peaceful and excited. You couldn’t refrain a smile as you turned to your husband, who was walking inside the room and closing the door behind him.

“You must rest,” he insisted, but you shook your head.

“I am perfectly fine. Besides, I can’t work on this room during the day, it’s too risky.”

Of course, he knew you were right. Still, he wished you could rest more, he wished you could be safe and wouldn’t have to hide…

Soon. He hoped it could be soon. With this safe haven you were building together, it could be the answer to everything. Perhaps it could even be a home…

You chuckled fondly as he wrapped his arms around you from behind, pulling you close.

“You’re distracting me!” you complained in faked annoyance, and Aleksander knew perfectly what you were doing.

“You love it.”

“I do not! I am busy!”

“And I am tired and long for a good night of sleep in a comfortable bed with my beloved wife.”

“Is it not too risky?”

“We are safe for now, let’s enjoy it, while it lasts.”

“Do you think this could be it? That we could finally remain safe?”

“I do not know. I hope so.”

“But we’re both too old for foolish hopes, huh?”

You exchanged a sad smile.

“We should not be seen as a couple,” Aleksander went on, and he knew he was breaking your heart a little by saying that, the same way he was breaking his own. “It would be too dangerous.”

“I agree. We are both powerful, we will live long lives… It would be too frightening for the otkazat’sya.”

“Build us a room where we can be ourselves, my love. We will pretend the rest of the time.”

You turned in his arms to face him, and his hand immediately raised to rest over your cheek.

“I’ll make you pay for that,” you warned him, and he raised a surprised eyebrow.

“Really? Will you? And how could I repay this debt towards my favourite Fabrikator?”

“An awful lot of kisses will be required. And some cakes. Lots of sweets.”

You both laughed at that, despite your shared tiredness, despite all the things you had been through. A bright laugh made of bright hope, a fool’s hope perhaps, but hope all the same. The sounds filled up the empty room, and echoed in its blank space.

“So, we’ll hide that we are married?” you asked after growing quiet again, and Aleksander nodded, although you could see it pained him to do so.

“It’s safer this way. If I am to step up, I will have many enemies.”

You nodded, tugging your head on his chest, so he could rest his chin on you.

“We’ll make it work,” you reassured him, feeling the tension in his body, the fear too. “We’ll make it work, Aleks.”

“I know. I’m just… worried that you might… that I might lose you.”

“You won’t lose me. I’ll be right there. And I’ll steal an awful lot of kisses in this room.”

“Is it safe already?”

“Safe enough for us to have this conversation, yes.”

“Can you lock the door?”

“Already done it.”

He chuckled.

“You’re getting good at using your powers without moving your hands.”

“I still had to move a finger, but my hands didn’t touch.”

“That’s my wife. So powerful.”

But he felt you tensing in his gentle hold.

“It will be worth it, right? All these moments together we’ll have to sacrifice, all this fighting, all this work… tell me it will be worth it. Tell me we’ll make it.”

He took your face in both his hands to force you to look up at him.

“It will be worth it,” he assured you, and in his dark eyes, you saw no lies nor doubts. “We will make it through. You and me, the way we have planned. The way we promised each other we would.”

“Until we’re the last ones on Earth?” you still asked in a trembling voice, even if you didn’t doubt him.

He nodded, a smile on his lips as he pulled you in a tight hold again.

“Until we’re the last ones on Earth, my love.”

*****************************************

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#the darkling #the darkling x reader #the darkling x you #the darkling x y/n #aleksander morozova #aleksander x reader #aleksander x y/n #the darkling fanfic #the darkling fanfiction #the darkling series #aleksander fanfiction #aleksander fanfic #aleksander series #grishaverse #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #writing #series

[rose-sophia-isabella-rogers]

A Steel That Went Through Hottest Fire: Chapter XX - An Arrow in the Quiver

Chapter Summary: It's time to face Fjerda. Who will win and who will lose? Will Ravka finally be at peace? And what will you get for everything you've done?

Pairing: Aleksander Kirigan/Reader, Alina Starkov/Mal Oretsev, Zoya Nazyalensky/Nikolai Lantsov, Fedyor Kaminsky/Ivan, Genya Safin/David Kostyk

Characters: Aleksander Kirigan, Reader, Nikolai Lantsov, Genya Safin, Alina Starkov, Mal Oretsev, Ivan, Fedyor Kaminsky, Zoya Nazyalensky, David Kostyk, Nina Zenik

Word Count: 4449

A/N: Inspired by prompt: https://pl.pinterest.com/pin/207306389090100611/

Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or removed):

@budugu

@intothesoul

@mizelophsun11

@pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy

@zeeader

@marrymonrich

@wonderland2425

@chelseyyouraverageluigi

@thehufflepuffavenger1

@drinix

Ivan and Tolya return. With a promise of an army. Like Aleksander has predicted, the people of Shu-Han are furious. Their beloved princess is 'dead' because of Fjerda and it has to pay for it. The great battle is about to happen soon.

Everyone is preparing in the ways they can. Including you. Even though you've already did a lot, you still spend days in the workshop, working on your latest project.

This is where one night David finds you. The only reason Kirigan hasn't dragged you from here is because he is at the Grand Palace, busy with another war meeting.

'You've done so much already, [Y/N],' Kostyk says quietly, but still manages to startle you. 'Go and get some rest.'

'I can't,' you huff, combing your hair with your hand. 'Not after what Nina told me about Fjerdans' work on jurda parem.'

'And that is?' David asks, raising his eyebrows. You sigh and remember your conversation with Zenik…

'Jurda parem in gaseous form?' you asked with disbelief. The Heartrender nodded, troubled.

'I wasn't dosed with it in the end, but still…' she said. 'I'm worried our Grisha will be attacked like that during the battle.'

'Everyone is to have a dose of antidote with them, so I wouldn't worry about that,' you said, pensive. 'But you brought up a good point. Gaseous form is more effective. If we had the antidote in that form on the battlefield…'

'We could save Grisha on the Fjerdans' side,' Nina said, her eyes lightning up. You nodded.

'I will think about it,' you promised. Zenik clasped your hands in hers and smiled.

'If anyone can figure it out, it's you,' she said, winking. You stared at her hands, pensive. From all the people, she's been one of the first that seemed to trust you. It puzzled you.

'Thank you,' you said quietly. 'It means a lot.'

'Hey,' the Heartrender said softly. 'I know what you're thinking. But I am the last person who should judge your actions. My lover is a Fjerdan after all.'

She smiled wryly. You thought about Matthias. He was a good man and utterly in love with Nina. But yes. He was a Fjerdan and almost as unpopular as you and Aleksander.

'The heart does what it wants, huh?' you asked, shrugging. Zenik chuckled. She sighed and nodded.

'Oh, yes,' she agreed. 'That's so true.'

'Hm, that is a good idea,' David says, already thinking. You blink, discarding the memory.

'Yeah, but so far it's just that,' you say and huff in frustration. 'I can't believe Fjerdans figured out the gaseous form of parem and I can't do the same with the antidote!'

'Well, they are a little different,' Kostyk points out. 'You're using more raw jurda.'

Instantly, you look at each other. You think of the same.

'That's it,' you say. 'And maybe if we-'

'Instead of-' the Durast says.

'And then-' you add.

'Yes, let's do it,' David says and you two get to work. Some time later, while waiting for your work to cool down, you sit and drink tea.

'I've forgiven you, by the way,' Kostyk says suddenly. 'Your betrayal, lies and manipulation. I get why you did it. Also, I see you were right. Ever since Kirigan has returned, things are finally looking up. We really needed him now. And since three years have passed, some emotions and grudges cooled down. We could put them aside and work together for Ravka.'

'Thank you,' you say after a beat. 'I… I didn't want to betray you. It hurt me. So, your forgiveness means a great deal to me.'

'You are my friend, [Y/N],' the Durast says softly. 'It may take some time, but I'll always forgive you. No matter what you'll do. And I hope this will be the same in your case.'

'I can hardly imagine you doing something so vile you'd need my forgiveness, but of course,' you chuckle. David smiles. You chat for a bit more, then continue your experiment.

When Aleksander walks in later, tired and exasperated with you, you're staring proudly at your work. At first, neither of you even notice his presence.

'We have to test it now,' Kostyk says, pensive. 'But we don't have more affected Grisha.'

'We can always drug someone and then give him an antidote,' you suggest.

'You're thinking about those two Grisha that were ogling Kirigan during the party, aren't you?' David asks. You look at him innocently.

'I'm sure someone will show up soon,' the Darkling speaks up, joining your conversation. 'We still get new Grisha hurt by the parem. So, for now you both can go to sleep.'

'Yes, sir,' Kostyk quickly says and starts cleaning up.

'If no one does, though, can we consider my suggestion?' you ask hopefully. David and Aleksander roll their eyes. You sigh and quickly help Kostyk. Once you're done, the Durast bids you farewell, and leaves. Kirigan takes your hand in his and you go to his chambers.

'So, what was that experiment about?' he asks you.

'We've managed to make the antidote in a gaseous form,' you explain and your lover looks at you, impressed. 'We just have to see if it still works.'

'If it does… it would help immensely in the battle,' the Darkling says and kisses your hand. 'Thank you, milaya. You've already done so much and yet you continue to amaze us all.'

'Well, since I'm not going to be on the battlefield, I want to be useful in another way,' you say. You enter the room, since you've reached it.

'I want to argue about that usefulness, but I'm too exhausted,' Aleksander sighs. You comb his hair with your hand. He closes his eyes, leaning into your touch, relaxing.

'How was the meeting?' you ask.

'Alina and I didn't argue, so that's a success,' he answers. 'Other than that… we still can't agree on the best course of action.'

'Well, you'll get it in the end,' you assure him. 'If not, you can always threaten the generals with me.'

'Hm, I would not like to see you entering a meeting, furious and ready to argue,' Kirigan admits and kisses you softly. 'Thank you, lapushka.'

You beam at him and answer the kiss. It takes a few minutes for you to pull apart.

'You can thank me properly after I give you a massage,' you whisper. The Darkling groans.

'Yes, please, I need it so much,' he asks. You chuckle and push him into the bathroom.

'I'm at your service,' you say teasingly. Aleksander pulls you with him, a mirth in his eyes. A lot of time passes before you finally go to sleep.

*

Everything is ready. Shu-Han's army has arrived. Your warriors feel up to the task. The antidote in a gaseous form is working and you've produced it enough, or so you hope. All of that means it's time to move out to battle.

In the morning when the armies are to set off, you help Aleksander get ready. The atmosphere is solemn, tense. You don't speak. Both of you are scared to break the silence.

'[Y/N]…' Kirigan starts when he's ready. But he trails off and sighs.

'Come back to me, okay?' you ask him. 'I don't fancy bringing you back to life a second time.'

'I'd say it's not possible now, but I know you'd find a way,' the Darkling says, smiling wryly.

'Obviously,' you huff. Aleksander chuckles. He cups your cheek. You lean into his touch, looking at him sadly. You're scared he's not going to return. He's immortal, yes. But some things still can kill him.

'It's going to be okay,' Kirigan says quietly. 'Thanks to you we're well prepared. We're going to win. And I'm not going to die. I made you a promise, didn't I?'

'You did,' you admit. 'But I… can't help it.'

'I know,' the Darkling says. 'I used to thrive in a battle. Now I despise it, because I know it makes you worried or you could get hurt. I wonder why is that, hm?'

You smile slightly, not at all sorry. Aleksander cups your other cheek and touches your forehead with his.

'I love you so hard that I softened,' he says. 'And I don't mind it one bit. I'm a happier man thanks to it.'

You lift your head and make your lips join. You kiss for a minute or so. Then, you pull away, but only slightly.

'Then go and win this, so I could be a happier woman,' you whisper. Kirigan catches your mouth for a moment longer.

'As my lady commands,' he murmurs. 'But before I go… there's something I want to ask you.'

He takes your hands in his. You look at him quizzically. He seems nervous for some reason.

'When I come back… I'd like to marry you,' he says, stunning you. 'If you'll have me, that is. Since we're both immortal now, I understand I'd be tying you to me forever. If you're not sure, need more time or you-'

You silence him with a finger on his lips. He looks at you, hopeful and scared. But to his relief you smile.

'Yes,' you say. The fearsome Darkling laughs, overjoyed. He kisses you again and again.

'Now you better win quickly,' you say when you finally stop. 'I don't want to wait long.'

'Neither do I,' Aleksander says, grinning. You join hands and leave his chambers. Ivan and Fedyor, who are happily married since last week, follow you. Soon, you're outside with the rest of the army.

'[Y/N], are you sure you're not coming?' Nikolai asks, walking to you. 'You can, if you want.'

'Oh, I'm sure,' you confirm, nodding. 'I don't want to be anywhere near a battle until I learn to control fully my amplified abilities.'

Lantsov nods in understanding. He smiles charmingly at you.

'Then keep an eye on the capital, will you?' he asks.

'Hm, I don't know,' you say playfully. 'Haven't I done enough?'

'You've done,' the King says, suddenly serious. 'You've done so much to help us win this. If we do, I know it's mostly thanks to you.'

He offers you his hand. You stare at it for a moment. Then, you grab it and you shake it.

'Good luck, moi tsar,' you say, bowing your head with respect. He nods back and goes to his horse. You bid farewell to the rest of your friends. Even David goes with others. Suddenly, Alina shows up next to you.

'[Y/N],' she greets you and becomes nervous. 'I… Can we talk?'

'What is it?' you ask, trying not to sound too much hostile.

'I want to apologise,' Starkov says after a beat. You look at her with raised eyebrows. She sighs.

'I hate it, but Aleksander's ideas were mostly spot on,' she starts. 'And he genuinely seems to have changed. I know it's thanks to you. You… were right. About so many things. Maybe even most of them.'

You stare at her. You see your silence makes her even more nervous.

'Good luck, Alina,' you finally say. 'Win this war and come back home. I honestly wish for that for you.'

'Thank you,' the Sun Summoner says quietly. She walks away. Her slumped shoulders tell you the conversation didn't go as she hoped.

'Alina!' you call after her after a moment of hesitation. She turns, a hopeful look in her eyes.

'Maybe one day I'll be able to forgive you,' you say. 'As I hope you'll forgive me. But now… it's still too soon.'

She nods her head in understanding and walks away. You watch her joining Mal. They talk and smile after a moment. You turn your head and look at Nikolai. He meets your gaze and grins.

'Best of luck,' you say.

'I have your antidote, best warriors I could hope for and a perfect equipment,' he says. 'I think we're more than ready to win this.'

'Just don't get too cocky,' you warn him.

'Don't worry, I won't let that happen,' Zoya says, showing up on her horse next to Lantsov. 'You try not to ruin the Little Palace while we're away.'

'What about the Grand Palace?' the King questions. Nazyalensky shrugs.

'I don't care, it's ugly anyway,' she says. Nikolai looks at you pleadingly.

'Look after it as well,' he asks.

'But I don't like it either,' you say. Lantsov sighs and turns to his soldiers.

'Move out!' he orders and the armies slowly head out. You manage to catch the gaze of Aleksander. You smile at each other and nod.

'Good luck,' you whisper. After everyone is gone, you turn and go back to the Little Palace. Now all you can do is wait.

*

It takes some time to reach the border with Fjerda. But the King's army finally does and a day later the battle starts. It's not pretty. Many people die. But thanks to your antidote, Zoya's excellent training, Kirigan's spot on strategy and some other things, they seem to be winning.

'Nikolai!' Zoya shouts at some point. He quickly turns to her, alarmed. But she doesn't seem to be harmed.

'If we survive this, you can ask me!' she shouts. 'You know, that certain question!'

Lantsov stares at her, stunned. Then, he grins.

'Seriously?' he asks, beaming at her. She barely manages to stop a smile forming on her face.

'Yes,' she says. 'But I want it to be public. I want to see the faces of courtiers when you do it.'

The King chuckles. Then he has to duck, because Zoya suddenly shoots flames in his direction. Behind him someone screams. He looks at his general sheepishly. She sends him an annoyed glare.

'But try to live to that moment, hm?' she asks. He salutes her and returns to the battle.

Some time later, it's over. While at first the numbers on both sides have been even, when Ravkans started using antidote on drugged Grisha on Fjerdan's side, the numbers turned. Because when they were no longer under the effect of parem, Grisha with fury turned on Fjerda. Mostly thanks to that, Ravka and Shu-Han are victorious. Well, Zoya, Aleksander and Alina attacking with enormous power helped as well.

Nikolai walks to one of Fjerdan generals to make him announce the surrender officially. He's lying on the ground, coughing out blood, Kirigan's shoe on his chest. He laughs when he sees the approaching Lantsov.

'You may have won today, false king,' he says. 'But you have nowhere to come back to.'

Dread fills Nikolai. He looks with alarm at the Darkling. His expression is grim as well. And worried.

'I knew there's too little of them,' Mal murmurs. Lantsov turns to Zoya.

'Go,' she says before he can say something. 'Alina and I will make sure it's over here. Ravka needs you to be there. Both of you.'

She looks at Aleksander. He nods at her in gratitude. The King wants to argue. But he knows Nazyalensky is right. So, he barks orders and takes some soldiers with him. Then, they speed up to Os Alta.

Which is under attack. When they first attack, you're in your room, writing a letter to your lover. But sudden commotion interrupts you. You bolt out of the room.

'We're under attack!' a panicked soldier shouts, running to you. 'Fjerda has carried out a sneak attack! They're going to be here within an hour!'

You curse under your breath. You think on your feet.

'Gather everyone we have in the throne room of Grand Palace,' you order. The soldier doesn't even question you. He just nods and rushes out.

Ten minutes later you enter the room full of soldiers and Grisha. But it's still not enough to defeat an army that's coming to get you. Especially, since most of Grisha are still learning. The rest are Durasts and Alkemi. The experienced ones are on the front.

'We're gonna die,' someone whispers.

'No, we're not,' you deny. 'We can't win, but we're not gonna die.'

'What's the difference?' someone asks.

'This Palace has been made to withstand a siege,' you say. 'All we have to do is hold on until the army returns. And I know we can do it.'

'What about people from the capital?' someone asks.

'They're being evacuated as we speak,' you answer. 'So, what do you say?'

'But we're not fighters,' a Durast says shyly.

'No, but we're clever,' you counter. 'Like I said, we don't need to win. We just have to stop them from entering the Grand Palace and Little Palace. We're going to use our talents for this. Anything we can create that can stop them, we're making it. Same goes for the rest of you. It doesn't matter how much you can control your powers at the moment. In fact, let it loose on Fjerdans. As long as we work together, we can hold them out until the return of the King. I'm certain of that. So, who's with me?'

Everyone exchanges a look. When they turn to you, their eyes are filled with determination. They nod. You're going to do it.

By the time Nikolai returns with his part of the army, there's a total chaos everywhere. But the Fjerdans are still not inside any of the palaces. In fact, some Fjerdans try to desert.

'Well, it's better than I feared,' Lantsov comments. 'Come on!'

They attack the enemy. Soon, Aleksander, the King, Fedyor and Ivan are almost at the door to the Little Palace. But suddenly, a Fjerdan shows up out of nowhere and manages to thrust his sword in Kirigan's shoulder.

'Die, Darkling!' he shrieks. The Shadow Summoner grunts in pain.

'That was stupid,' Ivan comments, absolutely calm.

'Very stupid,' Fedyor agrees, nodding, also not bothered. Nikolai opens his mouth to say something, confused, but is interrupted by a vicious battle cry. Then, something falls from the sky (or rather a windowsill but they don't know that) and lands on the enemy's back.

'Die, die, die!' you scream, stabbing (or as you'd say, aggressively poking) the soldier. Lantsov's eyes widen.

'This is why we're more scared of her than him,' Fedyor explains, motioning with his head at Kirigan. A Healer is already by his side, tending to his wound.

'I can understand that,' the King says, nodding, and returns to the battle. When it's won by Ravka, he surveys the battle field. He's surprised to find you still stabbing/aggressively poking the same soldier from before. But now he's dead and lying on his stomach on the ground.

'[Y/N],' Ivan says, walking to you. 'Leave him alone. He's been dead for some time now.'

'I'm. Venting. My. Frustration,' you growl, stabbing the guy with every word. 'You. Have. No. Idea. How. Stressful. That. Was.'

The Heartrender sighs. He wonders what to do, but then Aleksander shows up. He simply takes the dagger out of your hands, picks you up and cradles you in his arms.

'It's alright, milaya,' he murmurs and looks at Nikolai. 'It's over now.'

*

Fjerdan has been defeated and forced to sign a treaty. Shu-Han has been held responsible for their attacks and also forced to laid down their weapons. They also must stop creating more khergud and stop kidnapping Grisha. Ravka is finally at peace and united.

Nikolai decides to honour everyone that has made it possible. Which means a huge ceremony. You're terribly bored at it and mostly don't listen to the King praising people. Until he gets to Zoya. Then, you watch her joining him with a great interest.

'Zoya Nazyalensky, general of the Second Army,' Lantsov starts. 'My partner and most trusted advisor during the past years. There's no doubt you've played a huge part in our victory. This peace wouldn't be possible without you.'

You swear you can hear her murmuring 'obviously'. You smile.

'I thought you'd serve as my general for many years to come,' Nikolai goes on. 'But recently I realised there's a better position for you. If you agree to take it, Ravka has a chance to become even stronger and prouder.'

You notice her tensing. Lantsov either doesn't see it or ignores it, as he lowers himself on one knee. People start murmuring. You focus only on the couple. The King shows his general a box with a gorgeous ring inside it.

'Zoya Nazyalensky,' he says, 'will you give me the honour of becoming your husband?'

You see her lips twitching in reaction to the phrasing of the question. But she stays silent. Nikolai becomes nervous.

'Come on, Zoya, don't do this to me now,' he murmurs. Nazyalensky almost snorts.

'Yes,' she finally says, offering her hand. Lantsov quickly puts a ring on one of her fingers, before she changes her mind. People cheer and clap. You, Genya and Fedyor are probably the loudest.

Zoya goes back to her place, showing with pride her ring to those around her. The King's eyes land on the Darkling. The latter walks to the former. The room falls silent. You hold your breath.

'Before I start, how should I address you?' Nikolai whispers.

'Aleksander Kirigan,' the Shadow Summoner decides after a beat. Lantsov nods.

'Aleksander Kirigan, the Darkling, the peace advisor,' he says, louder. 'At first, I wasn't sure if this was going to work. But you held your end of the bargain. Without your help, your advice and skills, maybe none of us would be standing here today. We've been at war once. But I think we both learnt that our dreams are actually quite similar, if not the same. You've proven your loyalty to Ravka and helped me keep its people save. Which is why, in thanks for your contributions for our country, I grant you a full pardon for your past crimes. Every one of them. Including creating the Fold that has separated us for centuries.'

People murmur, astonished. You smile with tears in your eyes.

'Your most gracious, moi tsar,' Aleksander says, bowing his head.

'That was our agreement,' the King says and smiles. 'Besides, you've earned it. In fact… your old position is going to be open. Would you care to become the general of the Second Army again, after the present one becomes the Queen of Ravka?'

People gasps. There's more murmuring.

'I'd be honoured, moi-' Kirigan starts.

'Nikolai,' Lantsov interrupts him and two men share a look. After a moment of silence, the King offers his hand to your lover. The Darkling shakes it, smiling. Then, he returns to his place by your side, accompanied by clapping and cheers.

'[Y/N] [L/N],' Nikolai says, silencing everyone. You slowly make your way to him. You can't help but wonder why are you the last. It worries you a bit. But seeing a kind look Lantsov gives you, you calm down.

'Where to begin?' he asks, spreading his arms, and laughs. 'By creating the antidote to jurda parem, you've saved Grisha. All of them. When you created its gaseous form, you helped turned the tide of the battle with Fjerda. Your design of kefta and uniforms saved countless lives. And let's not forget… you've brought back to life the Darkling. Without whom the victory wouldn't be possible.'

There are no murmurs this time. People are quiet. You could hear a pin drop.

'I can't deny, your actions caught us all by surprise,' the King goes on. 'The truth is, we should have seen it all coming. Because you are extraordinary. But you've been overlooked by everyone. Invisible, even. We would have seen it all if we had just bothered to look.'

You clench your teeth. You can feel tears forming in your eyes. You have no idea why he reminds you of the years of isolation you had to endure.

'I can say I didn't know you back when my father was the king,' Nikolai continues. 'But I ignored you as well. Put you in a cell. While your only "crime" was falling in love. For that, I apologise.'

He bows his head to you. You blink, surprised. People murmur, astonished as well. Lantsov looks at you again.

'You had every reason to hate us all, hate this country and not move a finger to save it from collapsing,' he says. 'But instead, for the past years you've done what you could to make sure Ravka can rise strong and powerful. After the Fold was destroyed, you told me I can't stitch it back together on my own. That I needed Kirigan. You were right. You brought him back and you proved us all how wrong we were to ignore you and underestimate you. We can all argue who did the most to save our homeland this time. But in my eyes, there is no doubt… that the person who made it possible for our army to win… is you. [Y/N] [L/N], the Saviour of Ravka.'

You stare at him, stunned, as he falls on his knees in front of you. For you.

'[Y/N] [L/N], the Saviour of Ravka!' Zoya calls and also knees. One by one, your friends and Aleksander do the same. Even Alina and Mal.

'[Y/N] [L/N], the Saviour of Ravka!' the rest of the court shouts and every single one of them falls on their knees. You look around, stunned and with tears in your eyes. You can feel some of them rolling down your face.

No longer invisible. No longer unnoticed and underestimated. Finally seen. Finally appreciated. And… when you look at all the smiles of the people you care about… no longer alone.

You look at Nikolai. He smiles warmly at you.

'Thank you,' you whisper.

'No, [Y/N],' he says, shaking his head. 'Thank you.'

He stands up and everyone follows suit. They look at him. It's clear he's not done.

'When Kirigan will return to being the General, he won't be my peace advisor anymore,' he finally says. 'And since this position's been just created, it would be a shame to dispose of it. Would you be interested to take it?'

'On one condition,' you say. Lantsov freezes. You grin at him.

'Just kidding,' you say. 'I'd be happy to, moi tsar.'

'You'll give me a heart attack one day,' the King sighs. You laugh and bow to him. You return to Aleksander's side, accompanied by cheering and clapping. Kirigan at once takes your hands in his.

'We've done it,' he murmurs into your ear. 'We've brought peace and stability to Ravka.'

'And more importantly, we can finally be together,' you say. The grin on his face tells you that he agrees with that. He presses a kiss to your forehead and you smile. Finally, all is well.

A/N: Thank you for reading! Let me know your thoughts! Reblog, like and comment if you could. Every comment makes my day!

This can also be found on Archive of Our Own: https://archiveofourown.org/works/52696933/chapters/135677767

#aleksander kirigan #aleksander morovoza #the darkling #general kirigan #reader #aleksander kirigan x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #the darkling x reader #general kirigan x reader #aleksander kirigan/reader #aleksander morozova/reader #the darkling/reader #general kirigan/reader #aleksander kirigan & reader #aleksander morozova & reader #the darkling & reader #general kirigan & reader #aleksander kirigan x you #aleksander morozova x you #the darkling x you #general kirigan x you #aleksander kirigan/you #aleksander morozova/you #the darkling/you #general kirigan/you #aleksander kirigan & you #aleksander morozova & you #the darkling & you #general kirigan & you #shadow and bone

[delfiore]

—THE GHOST YOU LEFT BEHIND.

pairing: zoya nazyalensky x fem!heartrender!reader

synopsis: a painful past between you and zoya comes to light when you are sent on an intel mission on behalf of the king.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: men being gross, a mild spoiler for the SoC book (?) idk i found the info on the wiki

a/n: hahAA 4k. shadow and bone has consumed my life and so has sujaya dasgupta ok thank you goodnight.

You looked down at the map strewn in front of you, a small smile creeping its way onto your lips. You didn’t look up, but you could imagine the fury on Zoya’s face.

“If I may, moi tsar—“

“I have made my decision, General,” Nikolai interjected, “you are my best fighter, and well, Y/N can be quite persuasive. I trust that you two would make an excellent team.”

For the glory of Ravka.

Finally, your eyes found her across the table. Her jaw was tight and her eyes hard as she looked back at you. “We depart at dawn,” she said, regal and in the manner of a good soldier, and left the room.

“Something humorous, sister?”

You shook your head, but the grin remained. “Now I think you’re just doing it for the hell of it.”

“I need all the information I can gather about jurda parem,” your half-brother reasoned, “and my advisor and general to not be at each other’s throats every time they enter the same room.”

“And your solution is to send them away alone with each other?” You scoffed.

“Precisely.” Nikolai nodded, with the same shit-eating grin. “I expect you back in a fortnight’s time with useful intel.”

By the time the sun was above you the next day, you and Zoya had been on horseback for hours outside Os Alta. Unsurprisingly, in complete silence.

You breathed in deeply. “Well, isn’t this lovely?”

“No.”

“A thrilling adventure back to my motherland,” you continued much to Zoya’s dismay, “almost like that time when we went to seek out the Crows. Just thinking about those Shu dumplings at the market makes my mouth water.”

Her silence was poisonous, and you felt the poison seep into your bones. The horses huffed as they trotted leisurely side-by-side on the dirt path.

“You know, we are going to be together for the next fortnight. Are you really going to do this without saying a word?”

“I am,” she said adamantly, “unless you’d like a punch to the jaw for breakfast, I suggest you shut it.”

“Speaking of breakfast, I am famished.” You looked down at your stomach delicately. “Perhaps we should stop. There should be a tavern in a couple of miles.”

To your surprise, Zoya let you stop at the tavern for some food, but not before she gave you a look that made you reconsider everything you’ve ever said around her. You were in the middle of devouring bacon and eggs, when you heard a scoff coming from her on the opposite end of the table.

“You eat like an animal,” she said, grimacing.

“Sorry that my table etiquette isn’t to your liking. I’ve learned to appreciate food having lived at sea where sustenance is never certain.”

“Why’d you pick it then? You were royalty.”

You huffed. “Not exactly. My status at court depended entirely on how my father, the King, felt about his illegitimate child that day. And that, in it itself, was fragile. But you knew that.”

Zoya shifted uncomfortably. You knew you had touched on a sore subject, but it was the most you had exchanged with her since returning home with Nikolai. All the spats and arguments left you little room to fill her in on all your adventures as you’d hoped. You wrote countless letters addresses to her, but you never received a response, so you’d only assumed that your words on paper had been reduced to ash by now.

“I’ll have you know I got the money for it. You just got to tell me where.”

“I’ll sell it to ya when I make sure I’ve got more coming in from Koba. The Crown’s maximizing security at the borders so it might take a while.”

“Are you listening?” You looked up at her, whispering quietly, so as not to alarm the men at the next table.

She nodded wordlessly.

“Thought the Fold being gone would make it easier, instead it’s just another useless king waving his magic wand around like a little prick.”

“Name the man. I’ll have my men do business with him.”

There was a stiff silence. Her hand fiddled with the napkin anxiously as she waited for the response.

A heavy fist slammed down on the table next to your plate, and the rugged men had surrounded your table.

“Got a couple of eavesdroppers, haven’t we?” One of the sneered.

“Oy, give us a bit of fun and maybe we’ll let you off,” another put his foot on the chair in which Zoya sat, and stroked her face greedily. “I’ll take this one.”

You could see the desperation in her eyes, begging you not to fight back. So, you held your tongue. You knew you couldn’t reveal the status of your being here. It was the reason why you and her dressed in plain clothes, and not your kefta.

“We’re just passersby, boys. Not looking for any trouble,” Zoya said sweetly, but you could tell that she was fuming too.

“C’mon, sweetling. No harm in a little fun, eh?”

You hated the way that prick was hovering over Zoya, it made you see red. In a quick motion, you whipped your head back against one of them, effectively breaking his nose with a loud crunch. With the other that stood beside you gawking, you pulled on his heart, until you could feel it squeezing in your hand, and he fell to the flooring, arresting.

The tavern once animated quickly fell silent, and the only sound left was the brawl that you found yourself in. Needless to say, a bunch of otkazat’sya were no match for two Grisha. But it was only you using your powers. Zoya had knocked down two of the men with her bare hands.

You found the informant amidst the brawl, now battered with blood on his face, and held him by the collar. “Tell me who the seller is and where I can find him.”

When the man refused to answer, you gritted your teeth, and pulled the air from his lungs.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll tell you!” He gasped. “Yuri Enkhbaatar, in Koba. Please, let me go.”

You nodded, satisfied, and punched him in the face, rendering him unconscious.

“Grisha scum!” One of them shouted as they all ran out of the tavern with their tails between their legs.

You took a moment to catch your breath. When you looked down at your hands, they were shaking and your right was bloody at the knuckles. The silver ring on your middle finger, fortunately, was still intact.

“It’s fine,” you said to Zoya, seeing her look at your wound with apprehension.

The sound of the horses neighing alarmed you. "No," you whispered and set off to chase the men, only to see them galloping away with one of your horses. You quickly ran after them, but they had rounded the corner and descended the hill, away from your immediate eyesight.

You let out an angry yell, just as Zoya caught up to you.

"Well done," she said sarcastically, a grin on her face.

"Save it," you grumbled under your breath, and keep walking in the direction you were supposed to go.

You heard Zoya's horse trot behind you, and you turned around in an attempt to counter whatever teasing comment she was going to throw at you. "Hop on," she said.

It took you a second to realize what she meant, frankly because you didn't think she'd be that hospitable. It might have been a different story if it was her horse that had been taken. You never liked being around an angry Zoya; a simmering Zoya was enough of a headache.

"You do realize that this means I'm going to be very close to you for the rest of our journey?"

"I'd rather that than have to wait for you every few paces," Zoya said, extending a hand to you. "Go on, we don't have all day. And if you keep babbling, you will walk.”

You took a deep breath before pulling yourself upwards; now you were very close to her. You thought the years of being apart would extinguish that bubbling feeling you get whenever you were around her, but here you were, trying your best to keep calm, as your legs wrapped around her. Thank the Saints she wasn’t a Heartrender.

“I’d say this is quite nice—“

“No.”

You sighed. It was going to be a very long ride to Koba.

On the fifth night, you arrived at the city. The sun had long disappeared behind the mountains, and the city lights could be seen from miles away.

“We should probably find our accommodation before doing anything,” Zoya said, “we might be here for a bit.”

You found a cheap inn in a small alley near the market. If you weren’t on a mission for the king, you’d almost see it as a much-needed vacation. You knew Zoya was exhausted by the way her eyes were barely open she waited for the innkeeper to assign you your room. She grabbed the keys as soon as it left the woman’s hand and went upstairs.

“All the Saints above in good Heaven,” you heard her exclaim as you peered inside.

“What?” You said. There was one single bed in the middle of an otherwise quite spacious room.

“It’s alright. You catch some sleep.” You said, sensing her annoyance. “I’ll go into the night market—“

She didn’t let you finish your sentence before throwing her day-bag somewhere on the floor and collapsing onto the bed, her limbs sprawled out across the entire width.

“—For a bit,” you said quietly, and closed the door behind you in the hallway, a small grin on your face at the unusual display of fatigue.

When you returned about an hour later, she was already in a deep sleep, but still in her riding clothes. Careful so as not to wake her, you pulled the cover from underneath her, earning an annoyed murmur from the girl, and throwing it over her body.

The commotion from the market had faded out the moment you stepped into your shared room. The quietness, not silence, that enshrouded the room, became loud. Your mind became loud as you thought about the past. Your past with Zoya.

You began to hear her voice, her young laughter as she chased you down the hall at the Little Palace, effectively putting many servants in charge of your wellbeing in distress. You despised your so-called family, the only one you liked was Nikolai, but things got better because you had your best friend, Zoya, the new Squaller that came from Novokribirsk.

You found her crying alone one day in a hidden part of the courtyard, when she was supposed to be training with Botkin. She had come only a few days before, and she was missing home.

“I’ll be your friend,” you remember saying to her, “that way you’re not alone anymore.” The pair of you were nine.

You sat by the side of the bed, resting your head against it, watching her sleep. She had every right to hate you, you knew that, but it hurt a lot. It hurt because you had promised yourselves to each other in the form of two silver rings. You didn’t understand the magnitude of that promise then, but you did now; Zoya Nazyalensky was your first love.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, but you knew she couldn’t hear. Quickly, you placed your hands above your chest to slow your racing heart, and keep the tears at bay. Once calmed, you settled back against the side of the bed, listening to the other steady heartbeat in the room as you succumbed to sleep.

Ten years old. You pushed down on the door handle quietly, being careful not to wake the other girls in the room. It was way past your bedtime, and you knew you would have to sneak back into your own room before the sun rises. In the dark, you made your way to where you knew was Zoya’s bunk. She was fast asleep, facing away from you.

“Zoyaaaa,” you shook her softly. The raven-haired girl turned around, and rubbed her eyes.

“I can’t sleep,” you whispered.

Wordlessly, she moved over, albeit barely as her bed was tiny, and you happily got under the cover with when as she pulled you closer.

“What are you ever going to do without me?” Zoya whispered back.

In the pale moonlight, your best friend looked like the entire universe. “I’d just never sleep.”

“Y/N. Y/N, wake up!”

You jolted awake, feeling the weight of reality crash down against your heavy eyelids.

Zoya was hovering above you, furrowing her eyebrows at the snorting noise you made when you woke up.

“Look,” she said, pointing out the window.

You rubbed your eyes and squinted subconsciously at the bright light that penetrated the room. Deep into the alley, a space opened up to what appeared to be a tea shop, and there sat two of the men you encountered at the tavern in Ravka.

“Shit,” you grumbled.

Next to them was another man, the front half of his head was shaved, the back of it skirted down his back in a long braid. He had Shu features, Enkhbaatar.

“There’s our man,” Zoya said.

You lunged towards the door when she pulled in your sleeve. “What are you going to do?”

“Stopping those bastards from importing the drug into our country.”

“By doing what? Asking them nicely?” Zoya hissed. “Y/N, we’ve already directed enough attention to ourselves the other day. We’re not in Ravka anymore, we don’t have the same kind of protection here. If they find out what we are—“

“They kill us, I know.”

She nodded firmly. “So, I have a plan.”

Zoya was good at many things, a good Squaller, a loyal soldier, a resolute decision-maker. It led you to believe that her plan might just work, it checked out in your head. You got the name, Bo Yul-Bayur. But then, you found yourself chasing after Yuri Enkhbaatar down many winding alleys, until you stopped at what seemed to be a brothel and his goons looked like they were about to swallow you alive. Turns out the men that you had beaten up at the tavern alarmed him of two Grisha nobles looking for jurda parem.

“Kill them!” He shouted to them in Shu.

“We just want to talk, Yuri!” You held your hands up in defense.

“I don’t talk to Ravkans, most of all Grisha!”

“But you’re not human, are you? You’re Grisha too.” You laughed, albeit carefully. “You’re a Fabrikator, an Alkemi.”

The look on his face shifted, as he scanned his men.

“Let us go, and you will have protection in Ravka from the King himself until we arrest Bo and bring him to justice,” Zoya prodded.

“I don’t need protection from your boy king,” Yuri growled. “Tell me, will your Saints be there to watch over you in the afterlife?”

The men charged, and all you knew was to defend Zoya from their blades. But there were too many of them. You were getting overwhelmed by the others as you try to subdue one. Men piled on top of one other trying to fight you, and there was a moment when you thought you wouldn’t get out.

It would be poetic, you thought, dying with your best friend, and your first love. Word would reach your brother of your failure, and he would do with it as he willed, but you would be here with Zoya, and you would be alone together.

Through the chaos, you spotted Yuri fleeing the scene. He really meant to kill you. You looked over to Zoya, seeing her struggling to fight three men at once. One of them, in her blind spot, with a gleaming sword in hand sliced her arm and she reacted with a painful yelp.

“Zoya!” You yelled. The added strength of seeing her in pain allowed you to stop two of the men’s hearts at once, something you’ve never done before, as they instantly dropped like flies to your feet.

You sensed an opening in the disorientation, and quickly grabbed Zoya to make a run for it. You hid in another small alley under ropes of aired out laundry for added concealment, as you attempted to catch your breath.

Zoya’s sleeve, once royal blue, was now stained with a dark red where the open wound was. It looked deep, and she was trying her best not to let the blood mark your whereabouts on the ground. She clutched it poorly in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but her face turned pale as she looked closer to fainting.

Quickly, you tore a piece at the end of your garment off to wrap it around her arm. “Keep pressure,” you said, but she turned away and refused to meet your eyes.

“I don’t need your pity, Y/L/N.”

“Pity?” You scoffed incredulously. “Zoya, you’re bleeding out!”

“Don’t pretend like you care about me now!” You knew it was her pride talking. Years of being the perfect soldier—alone—has hardened her, and having her plans fail so spectacularly. “I’ve survived worse. I took a bullet to the leg, an arrow to the shoulder. This is nothing.”

“Zoya, please let me just—“

“And you weren’t there!” You saw your own reflection in her glossy eyes, like a crosshair, like a wanted poster. You saw yourself in her disappointment.

“I left because—“ your voice was breaking, “I left because I couldn’t stand it anymore. My . . . family, never saw me as anything more than a bastard child! I felt like I didn’t have a family. I was on my own.”

Zoya laughed bitterly, sniffling her tears. From the wall she was slumping against, she took a step towards you, her eyes burned with contempt. “I was your family, Y/N, and you left without even saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes were wet. You balled your fists, your right hand fiddling with your ring. “I loved you.”

“There was a time where I would have said it back to you,” she said, her voice wavering, “but that time is long gone.”

With that, she left, no doubt to find her way back to the inn, but you didn’t bother trying to show your face for at least until that evening.

Nikolai heartily welcomed your return. He had worried for your safety when word got back about the tussle at the tavern.

"Well done, Y/N. I never doubted your abilities."

"Truly, it was Zoya that came up with the plan to catch Yul-Bayur," your voice trailed off, and you shrugged.

Sensing your discomfort, your brother came to your side by the table. "You talked, then?"

"If by 'talk' you mean we screamed in each other's faces, then yes," you sighed, your last verbal interaction fresh on your mind. “The only times I regret leaving with you are when I think about her.”

Your brother understood not to make his thoughts known, but to be your comfort when he pulled you into his chest.

The way Zoya handles her emotional baggage was never something she was proud of. Her confrontation with you in Shu Han had dug up a lot of things she wished she had forgotten about. She had promised herself to never let anyone in as much as she did you, and it scared her how easily still you got under her skin, even now.

So she figured the best way to deal with you was to pretend you never existed at all. The only times she would see you were at dinner and training anyway, but she never bat you an eye. She wanted you to know what it felt like to be left behind.

“Lady Y/N asked about you,” Genya told her, “asked how your arm is doing.”

“‘S fine.” Zoya answered courtly.

In the little time Genya Safin had the privilege of knowing Zoya, she knew the girl could be difficult to talk to. However, it never deterred her from trying.

“Why do you deprive yourself so? You know you still care about her.”

“It’s none of your business, Safin.”

“It is. It’s everyone’s business, Zoya, when you both have been lathering those longing, melancholic looks at each other all over our faces! You don’t think the other notices when you look at each other, but Saints it is so blatant that it makes me nauseous.”

Zoya didn’t reply, but opted to observe some younger Grisha mucking about during their breaks from training.

“And what about those letters? Why’d you keep them then? For decoration?”

“I—I don’t know.” She must have read every single one of your letters at least ten times, each time hanging onto every word. She would find herself smiling as some of the stories you tell her, but quickly catch herself slipping. There would be three to four letters every few months, then the numbers dwindled until she had to get used to not receiving any at all. Five months later, you returned.

“General,” a guard made himself known to the women. “His Majesty requests your presence in the council chamber.”

To her utmost dismay, you were there too, along with Tolya and Tamar. She let herself settle by the table, ignoring the burning gaze you were directing at her.

“You called for me, moi tsar?”

“Yes, I was hoping to get your input on how we shall proceed with Yuri Enkhbaatar, and subsequently Bo Yul-Bayar.” The King leaned on the edge of the table. “You were face-to-face with Enkhbaatar, what do you think?”

She let herself glance over at you for a split second, seeing you already looking at back at her with a crestfallen look. Straightening back up at the King, she answered, “We may need some time before we are able to get to Yul-Bayar. With him hiding out in Kerch, the only thing we may do is issue a bounty for him. Might I suggest our . . . friends in Ketterdam?”

By the time the meeting was over, Zoya used her best effort to leave the room as quick as possible, but, as if you had known she was going to, you caught her in the hallway.

“Zoya,” you said. There was a hesitant pause. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she spoke calmly, almost too much so. You winced at her aloofness.

“Please, I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and that I thought about you every day when I was gone. You must believe me.” You clung onto her sleeve with a desperate look. Zoya almost faltered at the glossiness that been to form in your eyes, you looked so defeated.

“I still think about you,” you confessed quietly, “you are all I think about.”

Your confession hung in the air like a puff of smoke, one that she wished she could condensed into a ball and throw away. There were other things that should be said after, but if she said them, her beating heart was going to jump out of her mouth into her hands for you see. There was a time when she wouldn’t have been afraid to let you see. Parts of her wanted to return to it.

“Th-That’s it,” you mumbled quietly, but something shifted in your eyes. You avoided her eyes and visibly deflated.

Zoya watched you floated down the hallway like a ghost, regretting choosing silence.

That night you couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning in bed, you let your last conversation with Zoya played out in your head. You didn’t know what she was thinking, you used to be able to read her like a book. There were very little expressions on her face to indicate any emotion, and yet her heart was pounding in your ears like a scared prey.

One can wear as many faces as one needs, but the heart will always want what it wants.

You kicked off your covers, and quietly opened the main doors to your room. There was not a single sound in the hallway, the Castle had gone to sleep long before that. You had learned where everything was now located in your absence, and you stopped in front of a room right by the stairs leading down to the main atrium.

She opened the door, and didn’t bother to hiding the surprise on her face. “Y/N,” she called your name.

You gulped, and let yourself run your eyes across her features. Her face was bare, free of cosmetics, her hair was dark as the night and cascaded freely down her shoulders.

“I can’t sleep,” you said, smiling sadly.

There it was. You saw the walls cracking, and finally tumbling down. Her lips quivered as she stifled a small sob. She had been pretending so hard, and it all cane tumbling down.

Wordlessly, she pulled you into her room, her hands finding their ways to the nape of your neck. You let her cry against your forehead, as your fingers found the wound on her arm that has now closed.

“I’m so tired of pretending.” Zoya said.

“Then stop,” you shook your head lightly. “I’m never leaving again.”

You let her push you back towards her bed where you sat by the edge, as she slowly guided you onto your back, raven curtains divided her face from everything else. You let your hands roam free, all night, for a thousand nights.

#zoya nazyalensky x reader #zoya nazyalensky #zoya nazyalensky imagine #zoya nazyalensky shadow and bone #shadow and bone #zoya x reader #genya safin #nikolai lantsov

[kay-i-guess]

stay, stay, stay | Nikolai Lantsov

𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | Nikolai Lantsov x gn!Reader

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 | mentions of an argument 

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 | after an argument Nik and y/n apologise and confess how much they love each other

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 | based on this request <3 

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 600 ish words I'm sorry its short :(

I pace a few times outside the door before gathering the courage to knock. I freeze. I can't do this 

I'm pretty sure we almost broke up last night, I remember all the yelling, I cringe as I recall throwing a book across the room. 

“Who am I kidding he probably left early this morning, he probably hates me now” I drag my hands across my face.

As I turn to leave I see the door swing open, I whirl back around to see Nikoli staring back at me.

“Nik” I breathe out in relief “you stayed?”

He looks at me questioningly “where was I going to go?”

I shake my head “doesn't matter” I wring my hands nervously “can we talk?”

“Of course” he steps back letting me into his room.

I hear the door shut and Nikolai makes his way until he was standing in front of me “Okay let's talk”

“Nik I’m so sorry, I don't know what happened last night but I feel so guilty” he doesn't say anything so I continue “I'm not good at this whole relationship thing, and anyone I've ever dated took all their problems out on me” 

“y/n you know I didn't mean-” 

“I know” I cut him off 

“Look Nik, I love you, you have given me no choice but to

stay,”  

 He looks shocked for a second ad I fear I said something wrong “I'm sorry i-” he takes my hand cutting me off “y/n! I've loved you for quite some time!”  

“Really?” I start to smile 

“Really” were both grinning like idiots now

“I'm sorry about last night y/n” 

“You know what will make it better?” I grin slyly 

“He laughs at my obvious ploy but goes with it nonetheless “what?”

“A kiss” my arms go up to his neck as he laughs

“I can't argue with that” he leads down meeting my lips with his 

It's a sweet kiss full of apology and love, all too soon we have to break away as there's a sharp knock at the door  

“Sorry love,” he says to me 

I pout jokingly as he greats whoever's at the door 

I make my way over to his desk which is covered with papers, I spot a book sitting on the floor and pick it up examining it for damage, it must have been the book I threw across the room, I smile at just minutes ago I was stressing over this very book I place it gently on the desk and make my way over to Nikolai and the interrupter at the door. It's Zoya, she seems to be annoyed at him, something about missing a meeting.  She says one more thing before stalking off.

Nikolai runs his hands over his face, and I giggle over his frustration “hey, hey look at me it's okay” I pull his hand down and hold them in mine.

“I know, it's just frustrating, sometimes I wish it was just you and me.” he sighs and pulls me into a hug placing his head atop mine I hum in agreement “I love you y/n it's like you know everything about me” I look at him in curiosity his eyes meet mine and I can tell his words are true “you've memorized all of me. My fears, hopes and dreams” he presses a kiss to my forehead “I just like hanging out with you, all the time”

“I step back and study his face “Nik honestly, all those times that you didn't leave It occurred to me I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life”

“Honest?” he breaths so quietly I almost miss it 

“Honest” I conform 

A smile breaks out on his face and I can't help but kiss him

#nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x you #nikolai lantsov imagines #nikolai lantsov oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse oneshot #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone oneshot #grishaverse nikolai #grishaverse nikolai imagines #grishaverse nikolai x reader #grishaverse nikolai oneshot #sturmhond #sturmhond imagines #sturmhond x reader #sturmhond oneshot

[wh0refornikolailantsov]

Prompt: “Is this because you believe that I could not love you? I do. I love you. I love you so much that I will do as you wish. If you do not love me, say you do not love me, and I will go… But first, you have to say that you do not love me.”

Song: I Found - Amber Run

For Tolya x Reader please!!

More Than Enough For Me - Tolya Yul Bataar

Content Warning: Angsty? Yes. Angst. Insecurity. Doubt. Fear Of Not Being Enough For Someone. Fear That What You Have To Offer Is Not Enough. Fear Regarding Platonic Love Comparatively With Romantic, Physical and Other Types Of Love. Not Beta/Proof Read.

I am giving my strong Aro/Ace Tolya with this one and I am loving it. My qualifications you ask? I am Ace.

"For all your recanting of poetry," Zoya says not bothering to look up from her tablework, "what do you know about love Tolya, you know duty."

"And who are you Zoya to claim to know the difference?" Tolya responds. You were not a fan of the way that Tolya and Zoya could get at each others throats. Zoya was always vicious, you didn't think she was capable of being anything but brutal in her honesty, Zoya had never learned what it meant to be soft. But Tolya, he is very capable of speaking his mind, even if he often chooses to be kind where he could be otherwise, it's Zoya that makes him likely to bite back. Zoya seemed to take his disinterest in her very personally, Zoya was under the impression everyone would fall to her feet, and Tolya just discounted her and her comments without a second thought. It confused her, and still even now it seems to annoy her. She does not want him, she just wants to be wanted.

"At least I do not squander it, love or duty," Zoya says, stone faced and tight lipped.

"You know nothing," Tolya states. Zoya just looks to you and then back to Tolya, and back to her work, not saying another word.

Tolya pulls himself away from the wall, and exits without saying a word. You follow him out and Zoya just shakes her head to herself, letting you both go. You follow him outside and the air is cool in the early evening air.

"Tolya?" you call after him. He stops but doesn't say anything. You feel like you shouldn't ask, that it would be best to let it go. You feel that if you ask then there is no way to un-ask. There is no turning back. But you cannot help yourself, you need to know. "What does Zoya mean?"

Tolya says nothing. But the weight in the air between you feels crushing.

"I don't think we should have this conversation," Tolya admits quietly. You've never known Tolya to be so reluctant to be honest about something with you, and you wish you didn't know at all why, but you have a unsettling feeling you do.

"Why?" you ask.

He doesn't look at you as he responds, "I think you know why."

“Is this because you believe that I could not love you? I do. I love you. I love you so much that I will do as you wish. If you do not love me, say you do not love me, and I will go… But first, you have to say that you do not love me.”

"I miss you when you are gone, your smile is more home to me than any place I have ever known, and I would move sea and sky to make sure no one would hurt you," Tolya says slowly, "but I cannot give you what you want."

"You do not know what it is that I want Tolya," you say, trying to keep a semblance of calm in your voice.

"You want this big love, this love that leaps from the page and demands to be experienced and I do not think I can give that to you," he says.

"You do not know what it is that I want Tolya," you repeat.

"I see it in the way you watch Tamar and Nadia, the way you smile watching Nikolai and Zoya dancing around one another, I see it in the way your heart quickens at these stories of romance and long awaited embraces," Tolya says.

"You still have not said that you do not love me," you say.

"Because I do not wish to lie to you," he says, sighing, "even if it's not the truth that would give you the answers you seek."

"Tolya, do you love me?" you ask, voice steady now, direct.

He looks up at the sky, and the sun is burning into the horizon in one long abrasion, the oranges and reds that flood the sky above reflect in his eyes, like the gentlest of fires. "I love you," he states, "I care for your happiness more than mine, there is something in me that reaches out for you, that seeks you in the dark, in the quiet, there is something in me that only knows how to be fed by you, that only knows how to be calm with you. There is something in me that is lost when not in your presence. Is that not what love is? When someone makes you feel more at home than any home you've ever known?" He meets your eyes now. "So yes, of course I love you. I love you in ways that I thought were reserved for literature and the Saints."

"Tolya."

"But it is not enough," he says, "I do not believe I know how to love you in the ways you need me to. The ways you want me to."

"Tolya."

"I do not want to take that love away from you," Tolya says, "just because I cannot be the one to give it to you."

"Tolya," you say, louder than before, more demanding. "Listen to me." He nods, closing his mouth to let you speak. "I do not care about what love and what feelings you do not feel for me. I do not care if you will never see me as Nadia sees Tamar, never love me in every way there is to be loved. I do not care, as long as you love me. It does not have to be the way others love, it just has to be real, it has to be ours." You swallow and your throat feels dry. "So Tolya, I ask you again, without expectation, without excuse, without comparing to your sister or our friends, their love is theirs, I am not asking for their love. I am not asking you to love me in the ways you do not. I am not wanting you to love me in any way except the ways you do. I am not asking you to love me Tolya. I am just asking, do you love me?"

"Yes," he says. In every way I know how, Tolya's mind whispers.

You smile. "That is all I have ever wanted," you say.

"I do not believe my feelings will change," he says.

"I do not wish for them to," you say.

"There are things I do not think I will ever be able to give you," he says. You shrug.

"I do not want them if you do not want them," you say.

"And this would be enough?" he asks.

"If all I ever have is you by my side as we walk this life, that will never leave me wanting," you say.

"I will continue to love you in every way I know how until the end, and I believe even after."

"I will never want for more."

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #tolya #tolya x reader #tolya yul bataar #six of crows #tolya and tamar #fanfiction #tolya my darling i adore you #tolya yul bataar fluff

[takaraphoenix]

I’ve been meaning to make this post since season 1, but particularly with a book-based fandom as an exclusive show-watcher, it felt premature. After season 2 and the elements added to the narrative, I have an itching in my fingers.

What makes the Darkling, as a villain, so very compelling is the fact that his incredibly fucking valid motivation is just completely swept under the rug. And I mean completely.

I think there might be less appeal to him if there was more acknowledgement to the shit going on in this world, to be honest? I just find it completely impossible to actually root for the “good” guys because I don’t... see an argument made for what they stand.

It’s a tale as old as time, when it comes to storytelling.

You have a character and his motivation is that his people are being mistreated, abused and straight-up murdered by an oppressive force and he won’t stand for it anymore.

Now, here’s the problem with that. This does not read like a villain’s motivation. Not at all. So the author will sprinkle a good amount of murder and atrocities in there to show the audience that This Is The Bad Guy and the majority of the audience with then nod along with this. And, gotta say, really working well in this fandom, it’s baffling how much blind hatred I see for Aleksander based on all of the murder and atrocities but I don’t think I’ve seen anyone outside the people who like Aleksander bring up that what he actually stands for is right. So, that worked, I guess.

The bigger problem with these narratives however, the much, much bigger problem, is that usually, it creates a hero who doesn’t stand for anything. Because instead of giving the hero the same motivation - especially in cases where the hero comes from the same oppressed group, and they usually do - and making the hero find a better solution for this problem, a heroic solution, a no-murder-and-no-atrocities solution, the hero just... fights the villain.

The hero fights the villain to ensure the status quo, very often even directly in the name of the oppressive force. And that’s exactly what’s happening here and I’m not having a good time with that, fellas.

I love Nikolai as a character - would love him 300% more if he was just a pirate and not a prince. Because now he is just... the latest... in a long line of monarchs. And Alina aligns herself with the same bloodline that’s been oppressing Grisha for centuries. And Alina fights in their name and at their side. And Alina is now, in the aftermath, rebuilding... the status quo.

She wants Zoya to train the Grisha, back at the palace, so they can once again serve the royal family and work under the non-Grisha. She is actively helping Nikolai claim his family’s throne. Again, I like Nikolai as a character, and you could give me a whole list of book spoilers of what amazing changes he may make once he’s king or whatever, that doesn’t change the core premise of what he symbolizes and what system is being supported here.

If it were at least the narrative of her wanting the throne, her wanting active change. A Grisha on the throne, who would rule the people, would change the laws and the way her people are ruled, but instead, she’s playing side-piece to the exact same royal family and helping them stay in power and... what about that is satisfying?

What about that is worth rooting for? Why am I supposed to be on that side?

Everyone seems to have very personal feelings on that matter that really are about Aleksander, as a character, and are very specifically about the atrocities and murders that were written for this exact reason and I... really struggle with this.

It’s so lazy. I think the Grishaverse is a very interesting world with a whole lot of potential and the characters in it are absolutely amazing - this world does live off its characters alone, honestly. But the very core confrontation that we’re presented with is incredibly lazy and unsatisfactory.

I understand that Aleksander is supposed to be the villain. I understand you’re not going to have Alina join his side. But... Alina didn’t have to join the side of the monarchy either. Alina could have had her own side, she could have fought for genuine change and true freedom for the Grisha and that would have been a cause to get behind.

But as things stand? As things stand, I quite honestly rather support the guy who has seen centuries of oppression, enslavement and murder of their kind and wants to end it with all means rather than the side that fights for the status quo.

#Darkling #Aleksander Morozova #Alina Starkov #Shadow and Bone #Shadow and Bone Season 2 #I call this the Castellan Problem because I first noticed it in PJO :/

[naushtheaspiringauthor]

Treasure of the wayward price- Nikolai Lantsov x reader p2

You didn't get an opportunity to process all what had just happened. Well of course you had wished to break the perfectly shaped jaw of the Prince, but Alina had already done the honours. You hadn't spoken to Sturmhond...Nikolai after he had revealed his true identity.

"Wow, you really did became a pirate, huh?" you folded your arms infront of you, refusing to look at him

"I- well privateer actually. But yeah, I did" he replied, stepping closer to you

There  was an awkward silence around you, but he cleared his throat and spoke hesitantly "So, how have you been?" he looked at you

"Fine. As fine as someone whose friend abandoned them and left without saying a word on his whereabouts or even a 'goodbye', could be" you responded, your words filled with resentment

"I- I'm really sorry for not telling you any of this earlier, but I had a reason, I-" He spoke with a saddened look. But you cut him off "You always have a 'reason' for everything, don't you?" you scoffed.

"Please, let me explain I-" You sprang up and got out of there, away form him, and didn't  look back at him.

That was the only interaction you had with him, throughout your journey to Os Alta. He had tried to make jokes and witty remarks in hopes of seeing you smile once again, but you didn't. He was visiting towns, villages, churches, to sponsor his alliance with the Sun Summoner . They were waving, smiling, holding children in their arms, hold hands. And you hated every moment of it. It was all and all tolerable until...he had kissed Alina.

"Why am I even here? I can't wait to get to Os Alta and stay as far away from him, as I would be capable of. Then he can spend all his time with whoever he wishes, and I wouldn't be forced to see it all. Such a fool I was, for thinking he's still care for me. He'd still remember and cherish the moments we spent together" you were too lost in your thoughts to notice Mal nudging your elbow. You finally snapped out of your thoughts, when he said out your name. He looked hurt and didn't utter a word. You followed his gaze to see Nikolai's lips pressed against Alina's.

Your heart felt like it had crawled up to your throat. You could feel your rapid heartbeat in every part of your body. You desperately wished for the floor to tear apart and  swallow you in, so you won't have to see all...this. Your brain had completely frozen up and you just stormed out of there, to wherever your feet would take you.

You had reached Os Alta after what felt like an eternity. You spent most of your time with your friends and avoided Nikolai as much as you could.

When you had told Zoya about all that had happened, she had responded with "The Prince is an idiot for passing up on you". Or maybe I was, for thinking he had loved me, you thought.

You had completed your work with David and a few others for the day and you were getting out of your workspace. It was almost midnight and there was a comforting silence surrounding the Little Palace. You were on your way to your room when you heard someone call out your name from behind. You turned around to see, Nikolai, looking at you with tired and innocent eyes.

"It's really late, you should go to bed" you turned around to leave, but he suddenly grabbed your hand.

"Please, talk to me" he said with a mournful look

"What is there to talk about?" you replied in a broken voice

"Why do you not talk to me anymore? Why have we remained nothing more than mere...strangers?" he slowly let go of your hand and stepped closer to you.

"You're a Prince,  Nikolai. You deserve to be with someone who matches your status, and the Sun Summoner is the perfect choice. I'm not willing to distract you and waste your precious time" you looked immensely hurt.

"Do- do you really think of yourself that way? . I don't care of who I am, being royalty doesn't matter one bit to me. Being with you does. You matter to me"

"If I matter to you that much, then why didn't you even bother to let me know about your plans? Do you have any idea how worried I was for you? Saints, the kinds of thoughts that came to my mind. The places my mind wandered off to.  I was your friend, Nikolai! I deserved to know" your voice began to raise, yet it was immensely broken and shattered

"Because you are more than just a 'friend' to me. What if I would've taken you with me and- and lost you. I could never live with myself for that. I kept you away from my plans, because they were dangerous! And I know, you are fully capable of protecting yourself but I could never bear the thought of losing you. You have no idea of how much you mean to me. You have been with me in times no one ever has. You have known me better than anyone did, you did. And I did try to send word to you, but I found out that you had sided with the darkling." his voice began to tremble.

You were utterly shocked at the words he had just said. What was ironic was that you had loved him all this time, but you had happened to be the one to consider him your 'friend'. You had been the one think of your bond as just a friendship. When it was so much more than that. You had known it, and now you realized that he did too.

"I- Nikolai.. I didn't knew that. I never did" your eyes were brimming with guilt. "The darkling- it wasn't my choice. He'd given me no other choice"

"That's why. I want to keep you away from all...this. I want you to be safe".  He moved closer to you, almost too close. "You're all I have ever wanted, my love. There has been no other who came to my mind every night. There has never been anyone other whom the tiniest things remind me of. There has never been anyone, except you. I love you my dear, only you. And not even the greatest powers of the universe could ever change that"

Your mind froze up at the words he had just said. You wondered if it was real or you had finally gone crazy. There was a nervous feeling in your stomach, the one you'd get everytime he looked at you and smiled at you, but in a much greater amount.

You finally held up the courage to speak and spoke "I love you too, my dear Nikolai. I always have. And my heart could never bear to see you with anyone other than myself.  And you have no idea how much pleasure and comfort it brings me to know that you feel the same" your gaze was fixed upon his.

There was small moment of silence before he asked "Can I kiss you love?"

You said nothing in reply but didn't waste another second and gently pressed your lips on his. The moment almost felt too good to be real and you slowly pulled away from him after what felt like the best moment you had in your life.

He quickly pulled you in again, one lasting much more longer and felt deeper. When you had pulled away from each other after what had felt like an eternity, you both looked deep into each other's eyes and there was a long moment of silence.

"Now that you're finally done being mad at me, what do you think of 'Sturmhond'?" he finally spoke

"Well the name sounds very fake and so does the wierd nose, but the man isn't so bad after all" you gave him a teasing smile.

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #grishaverse #shadow and bone #nikolai lantsov fanfiction

[unrequitedloveletter]

The Fire That Burns Within- N.L x fem! reader Chapter One

Masterlist

Okay! this is the second part! I’m going to upload a chapter a day until this series is done with and the uploads will be a little random but should typically come out between 4:15 and 7:30 AST! I also have a playlist of songs I’m listening to while writing if anyone is interested in that, and thank you so much for the love on the prologue!! I’ve never written a Nikolai fic this long or with this many chapters, so I was a bit nervous and I’m really grateful that it was well recieved

Fic type- angst with a bit of fluff at the start

Warnings- mentions of what the king did to Genya, an allusion to the readers trauma, mentions/allusions to death

Genyas face split into a grin the moment she saw you. You took a moment to register her scars and the eye patch she wore, felt pity that she would hate you for register within. 

The minute the boat touched solid ground and a ladder was placed to help people get out of the boat, you were leaving. You climbed down the ladder and ran at your best friend, a happy laugh falling from your lips as you hugged her for the first time in what felt like ages.

She was laughing, too, and you were both laughing, and then you were thanking the saints, only to see Alina Starkov in your periphery.

“You’re not an ally of the Darkling, are you?” She asked as Genya let you go. “Not one of his spies?”

“She’s just arrived, Alina,” Genya said. “Allow her a day to rest before you start throwing out accusations.”

“I would be skeptical too, Genya. She’s fine,” you said, arm wrapping around Genyas waist as hers wrapped around yours. “And, though I doubt you’ll believe me, no. I am not one of his allies. I will never be an ally to him ever again. Not after everything that’s happened since the expansion of the Fold.” Not after everything he let happen to Genya, to me, to all those under his care. Not after all of the people he let die without blinking, you thought. 

“You were one of his allies before?”

“Before I learned the truth, I may very well have been. Weren’t we all?” 

“You make a valid point,” Alina said with a nod. “Well, I’ll let Genya show you to your accommodations. I would recommend the stairs, but the lift is a good alternative if you’re okay with a bit of a bumpy way up or if you’re tired.” 

You let Genya lead you off, some part of you wanting to find Zoya and spar for a bit like you used to. 

You needed a good, long nap after the whirlwind that was the experience of feeling the boat begin to fly and the sensation of oddness you’d felt when it kept up until you were at the Spinning Wheel. 

You needed a good, long cry. You needed a moment or several moments to process everything you’d gone through since the Fold was expanded, but you knew that moments to process things were a luxury, and they were likely a luxury ill afforded in the depths of the safe haven that had been carved from the side of a mountain. 

Your room in the Spinning Wheel was simple. A bed in one corner, a chest for clothes and other belongings beside it. A kefta had been hung on the wall, and the sight of it nearly made you sob. 

“I still have my other one,” you said. “From–from before–”

“It has black threading,” Genya said. “To denote your status as one of the Darklings charges. David and I found one while Alina was with the Apparat in the church–which is a whole other thing to explain–and when we left, we had to go through caves. There was a cave with red rubies. David took a few, extracted the pigment from them and put it in the threads of that one. He also took a bit of blue from a kefta that didn’t fit one of the Grisha on Sturmhonds crew. It was a fabrikators kefta before, and this one is meant for Spring, but David has gold that he can use to change the black on the kefta you brought with you.”

“For an alliance to the Sun Summoner,” you said. 

“Yes,” Genya nodded. “And to be rid of the Darkling after all he’s done.”

You grinned. “I cannot wait to be rid of him, then.”

Genya grinned back at you. “I’ll take the other kefta to David.”

Silence passed over you. Genya bit at a perfect nail before finally speaking up when a few moments had passed you both by.

“There are–there are rumors,” she said. “Of the presence of the King and Queen. I haven’t seen them yet.” 

“I have a flint. If I see her, I can burn the Queen alive?”

Genya laughed. “No,” she said. “You and your fire, Y/N. I’d let you if I weren’t so afraid that either of the Lantsovs would kill you for it. The King is weakened but his son? Rather charming, and rather spry.” 

“Vasily? He’s never–” you paused, searching for the right words. “I’ve never thought Vasily to be charming. I’ve thought him to be as much of a knobhead as his fath–Genya, dear, have you taken ill?” 

She laughed again. “No, not him,” she said. “Sobachka. Baghra used to call him–”

“The puppy prince, right?” You said. “I remember now. I fear what he’ll be like when he’s crowned.” 

Fear was an understatement, really. You didn’t want him to be crowned at all. If his fathers mistakes were of any indication of the kind of king he’d be, you might never have returned to Ravka again. You would’ve gone to Ketterdam, perhaps, maybe Novyi Zem, where the Grisha were considered the blessed. 

You would’ve found somewhere to live that was not the country you held dear. You would’ve forsaken the kefta you wore for the rest of your days if it meant you never had to hear a word of any Lantsov ever again after all you’d dealt with. 

“He’s good,” Genya said, knowing her reassurance would not stop your fear-driven hatred. She was putting her best foot forward anyway, trying her damndest though she knew it wouldn’t be worth much in the long run of things. “You can trust him, I think.”

“The ‘I think’ adage does not make me more confident,” you said. Genya nodded.

“Thats fair. I’ll leave you to it, come grab you for dinner in a few hours. Sleep, or think through everything. or just exist,” she said. “Do what you must, and try on the kefta. David and I think it’ll have a baggier fit, but it’ll work just as well. I’ll see to it that David can grab your other kefta from the ship and you’ll have it again by the time we’ve eaten, wrought in golden thread rather than obsidian.”

“I fear what it will be like if I have to face him again,” you said. “To be perfectly candor, I do not think I can manage it. Even thinking of the Darkling sets me on edge, thinking of the embroidery on my kefta–what if I am not strong enough to face this?”

“You are,” Genya said as she turned to go. “You survived the Darkling and his monsters, Y/N. You escaped them. Once you survive that, I think you become capable of surviving anything, even one of the Lantsov kings.” 

You watched Genya leave without saying anything more, took the kefta off it’s hook and pulled your arms through the sleeves. It was a size or two too big, but you didn’t much mind it. David would fix the threads in your other kefta and the other kefta wouldn’t be relevant until spring, when the weather lightened up and there was no need for a heavy kefta unless you went into battle. 

You took the kefta off, put it back onto it’s hook. You grabbed your flint, summoned a flame that glinted off of candles to your fingertips, and grinned. You had not summoned in weeks. You’d missed the comfort, the surety it brought you, and it turned out that you had missed it desperately. 

You let go of the flint and watched the flickering flames dissipate, climbing into your bed as you felt the aches in your joints and muscles return. Despite Genyas statements about Nikolai Lantsov, she was right. You were still tired and sleep was still necessary. You drifted off again, knew that you probably wouldn’t wake up until the following day, but decided you didn’t care. Sleep mattered more to you in that moment. 

#nikolai lantsov #nikolai lantsov x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

[privateerandking]

Trailer things

- I hate mal in the books I love him so much in the show “Always”? I’m dying

- Kaz and Nikolai meeting. Chaos.

- Zoya and Inej together? Immaculate. Queens.

- the way Nikolai is so casually leaned back just screams the charming privateer prince we love

- Genya and David!!!!!!

- Matthias is gonna have me sobbing

- “Adventure? Danger? Now you’re speaking my language.” SEND HELP I AM DECEASED IT IS SO NIKOLAI. HE’S HERE.

Anyways I apologize for the amount of Nikolai gifs that will be on this blog once this season drops

#the rumors had me worried but I’m so excited #zoyalai #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #kos #soc #shadow and bone #shadow and bone cast #s&b show #s&b netflix #s&b season 2 #s&b #s&b s2 #s&b fandom #s&b cast #s&b trilogy #grishaverse #grisha netflix

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

general messy thoughts about sab s2 (spoilers ahead)

Things I liked:

- Genya. Daisy Head SLAYED completely she was SO GOOD. I didn’t like them downplaying her scars and I wished we had gotten the line “I am not ruined I’m ruination” especially knowing how much that line means to so many people but other than that Genya was everything Daisy did an INCREDIBLE job of playing her. I actually got teary-eyed at several points this season (and me and my emotions are not at all close so that’s a feat) and they were all either Genya or GenyaDavid scenes, which brings me to…

- Genya and David. They were so good. So wholesome. The best part of this season IMO. Like their brief scenes, them hugging in the woods, the tiniest moments STOLE the show. I cried for these two and these two alone. Also, David was so well-portrayed like I loved these two so much. 

- Several soft Malina moments that gave me butterflies and I felt accurately showed their dynamic, more toward the beginning of the season but they were there.

- Jack Wolfe as Wylan. I have some not-so-positive thoughts about the aged-up crows in general, but I still think Jack was a convincing Wylan and you can tell from both the show and from his interviews that he really cares about Wylan and his portrayal. Every time he LOOKED at Jesper I was like…wow just WOW.

- Getting to see Nina interacting with the Crows was nice. Especially when they turn around and she has waffles and Kaz has that annoyed moment but then we find out Nina got them the info they needed because she’s a spy and she’s incredible? 10/10 and one of the few moments that felt accurate to the real crows. Also, that part where she was talking to the guard and pretending she needed to pee (idk that was a weird way to describe it I know) but that was so Nina

- Also, just them together in a restaurant vibing was what I needed

- “The barrel doesn’t belong to kings. It belongs to bastards.”

- Tolya and Tamar were so cool in their introduction like they’re so hot and cool and powerful ahh

- When Genya, Alina, and Zoya are all at the Darling’s funeral pyre that was chilling

- The slivers of foreshadowing with Zoya.

Things I didn’t like:

- The weird slow motion in some of the fight scenes was so unnecessary lol

- Okay I’m not a fan of the Darkling and I’ve made that quite clear in the past, but I do think he’s a good and interesting villain and I like the Flavour he adds to the story but this season the Flavour was just…not there. It’s funny how many Darkling stans I’ve seen angry about this season because for once we’re in agreement. Like he was so boring and weird and just creepy instead of interesting and creepy? I wanted to skip all his scenes. Also, they took out so many of the awful things he did in the books like what about him killing Ana Kuya? When he says “you’ll have no shelter but me” that line hits so much harder and is so much more chilling and awful because he’s literally killing off the people in her life. Turning Nikolai into a monster himself?? The moment Alina loses her powers in the books and the Darkling tells her she’s nothing is SO IMPORTANT because it shows he’s just interested in her for her powers, which is a big theme in the books. As wonderful as Nikolai is, he needs Alina for what she can provide for Ravka. The Apparat just sees her for her power. Everyone wants to use Alina for something except for Mal who just wants them to be happy and able to make their own choices. Anyways, the Darkling didn’t feel like the Darkling from the books at all. Also, he was just cringy. Like I was laughing when he was like “I have returned. And I’ve made some new friends” and stared at the camera it was so bad.

- Ruin & Rising is my favourite from the trilogy and I was so disappointed with how much was cut out for the most random crap, like hallucinating and eating butterflies?? Instead of the bonding time with the whole TGT crew? And no Oncat I’m crying. There’s so much character growth that happens and so many relationships that are deepened in Ruin & Rising and WHERE WAS THAT?

- Personally, I didn’t think Paddy was giving Nikolai. Like he seems like a good person and actor and all that jazz but he just didn’t feel like Nikolai and since Nikolai is my favourite, this kind of hurt.

- Erasing Mal from the story and his struggles. Look, Mal is not by any means a perfect character. And he doesn’t need to be. Let him be messy. Let him struggle and sometimes be rude and make mistakes because that’s real that’s compelling. They could have shown all the book!Mal haters that maybe they were being too harsh on him because he was struggling SO MUCH but instead they just turned him into Perfect Supportive Man. His character growth in Ruin & Rising is so good especially after you’ve spent Siege & Storm thinking “what is going on with this man.” Seeing him owning up to his actions and seeing him working on his flaws and seeing his support for Alina is so good and we deserved it especially considering how talented Archie is.

- Cutting Zoya almost completely out, especially since this is the book where she goes through a lot of growth. Also, the fact that Alina choices they’re making are cutting into Zoya’s future story >:(

 Things I HATED:

- Killing off David. WTF. Obviously we didn’t see a body so he might come back but like…what’s the point. We didn’t even get to see Genya and David get married.

- Almost all of the Crows content. The rushed Crooked Kingdom plotlines with none of the significance from the books. Rushed Wesper. Matthias working with Pekka. Nina’s character completely revolving around Matthias. Kanej focusing on Kaz’s trauma but not Inej’s and making her contract with the Menagerie all about Kaz and his vendetta against Pekka and killing off Tante. Actually, pretty much everything Kanej this season was so awfully handled. Also, just not a fan of the Crows being aged up and I tried to be okay with it but this season made me more upset with the casting choices. The Crows stuff was so so so badly done I want to cry. Comfort rereading the duology right now

- The ending. Just…frick the ending. I hate it. Too many thoughts I just hate it I can’t even talk about it

- I’ve already reblogged a lot of posts that go into things I hated but just in general it was such a mess they combined too many stories without doing them justice and there’s more I’m upset about but this is it for now

#anti shadow and bone #anti sab show #anti s&b show #shadow & bone #sab show #sab s2 #sab season 2 #shadow and bone s2 #shadow and bone spoilers #sab s2 spoilers #anti the darkling #anti darkling #anti darklina #malina #malyen oretsev #genya safin #genyadavid #six of crows #grishaverse

[lilisouless]

Alina: maybe we have to redefine what fits on "its an emergency, come quickly"

Nikolai: its a million dollar plan, all we need to do its letting weird people to record us in a house

Zoya: we are NOT doing a reality , nothing its real anyway

Nikolai: duh, thats why i am assigning each one of you a role to play. I will be the protagonist

Zoya: there are no protagonist in reality shows

Nikolai: Zoya...please...alright, my role will be the guy with incredible charm, incredible leadership skills but still likeable that everyone admires and its incredibly modest. It will be easier since well...i play that everyday.

Mal: and i guess i´ll play the loser guy

Nikolai: i admire your self awareness Mal, but no, i actually need you to be my best friend which i have a borderline homoerotic relationship with that will be the most talked thing about the show. Now come here and hold my hand in a platonic-not so platonic way, and you better use a mint on our brotherly new year eve´s kiss

Mal: out what now?

Nikolai: We also need a diva, a queen, a girl who is cruel, rude but so and charming that people will see her rudness as "brutal honesty" and claim her as absolutely iconic, and we have the perfect person for the role, the only woman with the talent of creating such a charismatic yet outrageous persona...Zoya...

Zoya: ugh, if it means so much to you, then i-

Nikolai: plase move, i need to talk to Genya.

Zoya: seriously?

Nikolai: Genya, would you do the honor?

Genya: do i get to write my own lines and choose my victims?

Nikolai: absolutely

Genya: deal

Nikolai: now, Tolya, you will be the sensitive man

Tolya: oh, does that mean i get to recite my poems?

Nikolai: better...you´ll learn to play acoustic guitar, i need to you play it in every second the camera is on you.Now Zoya and Alina will be most of the time fighting over me-

Alina: no!

Nikolai:...over Mal?

Zoya: no!

Nikolai: ...over being Genya´s bestie?

Zoya & Alina: fair enought

Tamar: now if you think Nadia and I will kiss for a creepy male audience...

Nikolai: actually, i thought you could be besties and a come out as a couple a year after the first season...

Zoya: you want more than one?

Nikolai: Like, our secret weapon to regain audience and a renewal. Sure Mal and I will be the most popular thing at the show´s time but after the end, you two will have the "tamadia being cute" compilations

Tamar: fine, but we demand a higher paygrade

Nikolai: David is going to be the local relatable guy...

David: i still don't follow the "reality" but fake...

Nikolai: excelent work! and the glasses give it a nice touch...and about Leoni and Adrik, you will be the cute non problematic girl and the guy that everyone forgets exists...so, pretty much yourselves

More under the cut, to not make the most too long

Nikolai: what do you mean it got rejected?!

"Sorry man, but we have a new reality show"

Nikolai watching the tv: keeping up with the ketterdams?

Inej on tv: He can buy a boat but he can't fix his hear for me? i mean...does he really love me?

---

Wylan: i am changing the curtains, i want them in icy sapphire

Kuwei: icy sapphire? omg he is so pretentious, shut up! its blue...

---

Nina crying: MY WAFFLE FELL IN THE OCEAN!

Jesper: Nina , there´s people that are dying

---

Hanna staring blankly: huh...i thought this was going to be a cooking show...

---

Marya: oh Mr Fahey, shouldn't we talk about the obvious...(reads on smuged hand) huh...tension? between us?

Colm: Oh yes, our natural chemistry is undeniable and not fabricated for views at all

(awkwardly hold hands)

---

Alys: oh , i just randomly had the impulse to...SIIIIIIIING!

"SECURITY! WHO LET HER IN?! GET HER OUT AND YOU BETTER NOT FORGET TO EDIT THIS BIT OUT!"

---

"footage of Kaz falling facedown over a cake"

Matthias: is what he deserves (smiles)

#grishaverse modern au #modern au #netflix shadow and bone #leigh bardugo #grishaverse #grishaverse shitpost #shadow and bone shitpost #crooked kingdom #nikolai duology #sab shitpost #shadow and bone imagine

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

You don't get Nikolina asks? That's awful as I am reading TGT right now for the second time and they are still the best couple. I can't help but think how much better KoS would be with them as a married couple, realising that they actually, really fallen for each other. And maybe we could avoid breaking all the magic system rules to put Zoya in Alina's spot power wise.

You’re right and you should say it! I’m still insane about like every single Nikolina scene in the trilogy. It’s such a fun and interesting combination of playing off together really well but also having completely different priorities and life goals. They complement each other but also contrast real hard for great conflict. And post R&R I think they’re just really sad and sweet and I love the baggage of Alina having rejected him a million times, next to Nikolai’s existing anxieties of being like the second son in a family that never loved him etc etc and always doing his best but never being the First in someone’s affections. Vs Alina not being sure she can love him or be happy with him at all considering like The Lifestyle that would necessitate and her being so caught up in her existing feelings for Mal (and the Darkling). Even Nikolai’s ambiguity and role as a proxy for a more accessible version of the Darkling’s morality just makes their dynamic SO interesting. Bc every time he does anything even vaguely ambiguous it’s going to be like ::very literal wars flashbacks:: lol.

Unfortunately I came out of KoS way less normal about them— the Grand Palace becoming a weird shrine to Alina even tho no one talks about her ever and everyone practically acting like she actually died is so fucking insane to me!!!! I know that’s not the narrative intent but it literally just reads like deranged pining to me.

I literally ship Zoyalai too, I’m very much a multishipper, but not in the way that existed in the duology.

I do think making Zoya into an Alina 2.0 just did everyone a disservice. There are many other ways of being a protagonist! Just seems unnecessary to try to force her into a new role and personality.

#nikolina #i ramble sometimes #all the bendy punctuations #a mysterious stranger has appeared #*writer’s cap*