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#the two personality types...eat garbage and not eat garbage
plutopitou · 1 year
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◇ Haven’t I given enough?
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keigo takami | hawks x female reader
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genre: nsfw smut, angst
Keigo struggles to find a way to cope from being forced to be a trained soldier by the hero commission. Luckily you have a few screws lose and are more than willing to be that beacon of hope, no matter the cost. | 18+ MDNI
word count: 4.3k
warnings: he's mean (◞‸◟) but hot to me, toxic relationship,? VERY rough sex, smut, dub/con, keigo has issues- so does reader and they are obsessed with eachother -oop degradation (not for the lighthearted), dumbification, overstim
this is my first post on here and i haven't written in a long time so bare with me :) i think it came out nice tho <3
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Keigo has always had the commission on his back. Being raised inside of a facility that is cut throat and grabs you by the hair and force feeds you, not because they have to- but because they can. To express their own dominance like a cat baring their claws or a bird flexing their wings to show off how big they are. Poor little Keigo didn’t have a choice in the matter either, being so young he already knew if you disobey authority you have your work cut out for you.
He was always a people pleaser from day one. Daily motivation sourcing from the look of admiration by the adults, impressed by his quirk and drive for success. But the look was not admiration, but instead it was insulting. They never seemed to be pleased by his hard work and it pricked Keigo in his head constantly.
“You’re not working hard enough,” and “you can do better” they said.
Day after day his big doe eyes became heavier and heavier until they were keen enough to cut. There wasn’t a way to say “no” that didn’t end up in some type of penalty, ultimately equating the word “no” as something negative and taking a life as something positive, because who was there to tell him what was going on was bad and not right?
A baby bird only eats whatever its mother feeds them, whether thats food or garbage.
After Keigo’s first kill as a pre-teen, he hunched over and threw up at the mental anguish of being groomed to be a killing machine. It was one person after the other being a perfect sacrifice to perfect his skill, not at will but from demand. Keigo began to revel in the superiority of finally having the upper hand against someone, finally feeling powerful and knowing his own skill set by developing his quirk to be the best in the game.
Overtime he liked seeing the redness of blood camouflage with the tips of his red feathers and the string of apologies flowing from someone’s mouth, begging to spare their life. He got off on the picture of him standing big and tall on top of their weakened body.
But it was only fulfilling in the beginning.
He has bright vermilion wings with sharp eyes to match and it was not something you could easily look away from. It is a type of stare he developed over time that was molded to make you crack under pressure and confess anything. A type of stare that is enough to make you cry and plead a sorry even if you didn’t know what you were sorry for. A look that is masked underneath his laid back exterior he shows to the public.
There is a reason why he’s number two.
To the public it’s just Hawks, the number two hero, a man that helps elderly women cross the street and gladly holds onto your groceries with one of his delicate but strong feathers so you don’t feel inconvenienced. So you can experience a better day. He will gladly take a couple scratches and lose a couple quills for humanity so they can go home to their family and enjoy their night. But whispers travel and the villains know exactly what he is that he conceals, which makes his patrols smooth sailing. He is type of person the worst people warn to never cross paths with.
He is the glorified punching bag of society that is painted in expensive jewelry with a special title made just for him: a Hero.
But who gets to make the number two hero’s day better?
It’s not the little kids sprinting to him, looking up from his knees with bright eyes begging for an autograph. It was him pinching your nose, feeling your body trying to gasp for air while he rapidly fucks your throat, taking it all for himself.
It was never the men and women with tears in their eyes giving their thanks for saving their life. It was always the tears springing from the swift slap to your face trying to squeeze out one more apology from your stupid mouth for not listening to him.
And it is definitely not the plentiful of stupid fucking awards given to him at hero galas by the committee he is forced to accept to keep his image pure. Because is there anything actually fully pure about hero work?
Keigo felt himself slowly starting to lose his stability in the center of chaos. The feeling of murder is so short lived- he needed more than that. He didn’t like how long he had to wait until the commission had him go on another undercover expedition. That was always the rule by them: he can never kill unless authorized.
Society already has their special person to tear down and build back up as they pleased, who was going to be Keigo’s?
You, of course.
You were so willing to give up everything you had ever owned, have and thought of for the slight chance of his attention. Such a little stalker for Keigo, trying to figure out his patrol schedule just so you can see him work with a charming smile on his face. Reading fanfiction about him on websites dedicated to his heroics, touching yourself at night thinking about his sweet whispers telling you how beautiful and good you are for him.
You just knew he was such a kind and humble man in person like he executed himself on TV. You had seen over the years of heroes’ facade falling down, exposing themselves for being the corrupt and selfish person everyone had hoped they weren’t. But no, not Keigo, being the number two hero and being so young yet not much older than you, you saw him from a different light.
That is why when you willingly let yourself fall backwards down a 20 story building, you did not do it out of fear and intention of taking your own life. You did it out of joy and the safety of knowing he would be right there to catch you- because he is a hero.
For the seconds it lasted, it felt nice to flow through the sky and feel weightless. As the gravity of the earth clutches onto your body and forcefully pulls you down to your demise, it somehow did it softer than cutting a knife through butter. You let go of the breath you had been holding when you are swept up mid-air into a pair of strong arms grasping your body into his warmth. He smelled like fresh air and linen with a puff of mint coming from his lips. You peel open your eyes to see him in his glory, doing what he does best- saving people. The sun setting right behind him giving his body a glow of authority like a god. Your god.
Hawks gets you back to the ground and helps you stand still with a small comforting smile. “Take this as a sign, sweetness. Go home.” He says like its another day and pats your hair in place before turning ready to take his leave. His touch leaving a tingle from your head down to your back, you wished to have his hands on you forever.
“Wait!” You yell for him. Pulling out the letter you had handwritten for him days earlier, a confession letter. You shyly run up to hand it to him and take in his look of confusion before pushes up his visor and reads the front, ‘To Hawks ♡’.
Inside the letter was years worth of admiration and pent up love you have for what other people consider a stranger. But Hawks was no stranger to you. It only took a couple days to plan your meeting with him because you had full confidence he will be there when you fell, as it was meant to be. It was a love letter confessing you will leave everything behind for him, no matter what it took you wanted to be there to catch him if he fell too, even if you didn’t think you had the strength to keep him up. You would do anything he asked without question because he’s such a great person and deserves it the most.
‘I will lie for you, die for you, and kill for you, even if you don’t love me back. A hero needs a hero, too.’
Keigo thought it was almost too perfect.
His first thought, “this has to be some type of trick?” maybe the commission trying some sort of test on him as an evaluation? But when he looks into your dazed eyes, he knew. They were practically swirling with a heart in the middle. He thought there was no way someone has a screw loose enough to launch themselves to death in the smallest chance in being caught to give a little letter to their rescuer with a smile.
He has seen crazies before, not to this extent but close. Being in the work force for years now, his fanbase has exponentially grown as he climbed up the rankings. His female fanbase having the most growth, it was never surprising to come back to his agency with his interns bringing in a couple large boxes a week worth of love letters filled with undergarments, perfume, gifts or even money. Keigo of course has had his fair share of women in the past, none ever lasting as long because they couldn’t handle what he had to give. And what he had to give left these women bruised, crying and begging for more even if they didn’t have any more space left to take.
Your eyes, no matter the shape, still hold a roundness of naivety and innocence. A type of innocence that is special, one you dont see in a lot of people. But you have that factor. You have it all, and he wanted to be the one to take it away and give it back, force it to you.
Keigo almost wanted to laugh right in your face.
You watch as he pulls his visor back down with a small side grin, his shiny leather gloves putting the letter in his jacket pocket to keep it safe. “I’ll see you, alright, Birdy?” Pushing his wild, blonde hair back, Hawks gives you one last glance with golden eyes before taking off, the flap from his big wings pushing your hair back, leaving you alone as the sun finally sets.
.
.
.
But how could you have ever known?
Hawks didnt waste any time finding you again and getting ready to break you in. He loves the idea of it; a cute girl like you, so needy and desperate for him to go as far as jump off a building in the risk of him catching you. Because to you he was the perfect man on paper, on TV, and in person. You read everything there was to know about him online, you read every article, watched every single interview from the beginning to present of his career, there weren’t any warning signs that would have prepared you for who he was.
You wondered if his smile while being a hero was fake, if it was practiced beforehand to make sure there weren’t any marks for people to suspect. Since you’ve known him, the only time you’ve seen him smile with authenticity is when he’s crouched over your completely fucked out body, you still lowly whining how you can take more when you can’t even lift a finger.
How could a hero ever begin to act like this?
“You couldn’t have known” he murmurs against the back of your ear. His cruel and sadistic nature was intense, his words were pitched at you so fast, you couldn’t fully comprehend what he was saying.
Not through how much you couldn’t breathe with him fucking your throat with his index and pointer finger. His favorite part of your body was your throat, anatomically it’s the most vulnerable but so soft to the touch, so easy to control your life source and take it away if he wanted to.
Keigo knew what you were the moment you locked eyes with him and gave him that silly little envelope with confidence.
Naive.
A pretty, stupid little fan that didn’t know any better, a girl who trusted strangers and was so willing to throw away her life away for a man before it even started. The first time he fucked you he felt himself getting hard just beginning to think of all the things he can do to you, looking at you like you were a new play set and didn’t know where to start first.
“Aw, look at you.. my precious baby can’t breathe?” he coos, “Yeah you can, c’mon try harder..” Keigo fucks your throat with more swiftly, his fingers squelching from the pile up of saliva in your mouth. You’re desperately pawing onto his forearm trying to stabilize yourself against his front. The feeling of butterflies in your stomach is overwhelming and every push into your mouth you feel yourself getting wetter and wetter. You felt so small against him, so vulnerable, thrashing your hips against his cock trying to get away from the faint massage against your bladder and pussy from his other hand, trying to push you over the edge.
Keigo loves you like this, he loves being the one to restrict you. He knows exactly how you like it, he knows you like to pretend you don’t, feigning innocence like you always do when in reality you’re just a little bitch desperately trying to get more and more from him like every body else.
You begin to choke on his fingers, gagging as they dig themselves in your throat trying to fuck with you, and you can hear Keigo’s smug attitude, “Yeah, that’s fuckin’ right..” he groans out.
He finally pulls his fingers out your throat when he thinks you’re about to throw up and you hunch over gasping for any air you can catch, coughing with spittle dripping down your chin. Keigo holds you by your mid section keeping you close and pulling your head back to his chest. You want to act out, you want to fight back and hit him, slap him in any way you can because you love the fight, you live for riling him up until he finally snaps and yells at you, insulting your morality and fucking you in the process.
You can’t get any words out, your mind feels like a foggy and cloudy afternoon, still trying to catch your breath and Keigo playfully taps your cheek with his hand still covered in your own spit. “On your back.”
However you want to stay and prolong this moment as much as you can. Your body already feels weak like jelly and you want it to feel weaker. You barely have the strength to turn around and sit face to face with him, completely disobeying his words.
“Kei.. I want to stay up here.” You sigh into his collarbone, wrapping your arms around his sides, teasingly grinding your pussy onto this bare cock. You just wanted to stay by him, so close to his handsome face so you can kiss him- feeling his light stubble graze your cheek whenever you wanted. But he knows that glint in your eye. You look up to see that gaze. That special one perfected to make you crack under pressure and profusely apologize. It was enough to make your stomach tie knots.
Since Keigo was a little boy, he suffered with imposter syndrome and never felt a sense of fulfillment or accomplishment until he took a look at everyone else and saw how much better he was.
How he was only 18 at the time he started his career and a person that was a hero for decades could never compare to his mental resilience and physical expertise. He always felt inferior until it dolled on him that Japanese society was counting on him to feel safe. Keigo wanted to take back his sense of inferiority he developed as a kid and inflict it back wherever he could. Fortunately, there just so happened to be a pretty girl who was oh, so willing to let him.
No, she didn’t understand everything he had to go through to get where he was now, she would never get it. She doesn’t have to kill people to survive, she doesn’t have to live with the knowledge that millions of people count on her to live a normal life so they stripped her of her own.
She can live her life making mistakes without care, but if Keigo ever did, it’s blood on his hands. He is blamed for it all. She won’t ever have to deal with that.
But at least he can make her feel it.
“You wanna fuck with me, huh?”
You see his jaw tick in anger and his closed grin does nothing to cover it up but make it worse. He snaps.
You can almost feel his anger wash over you and it feeds you the energy you need to take what he’s gonna give you whether you like it or not, and you always like it. You pull back to try and console him. “Kei..”
Keigo quickly grips your jaw with force, smile gone and pulls you close. “This is what you wanted, wasn’t it?” He shakes you. “Huh? You like this shit don’t you?” He locks eyes with you searching for an answer, mocking how pathetic you look. “Hmm? Does it make you feel good, baby? Letting me manhandle you, knowing I’m gonna use your body however I want to?” You puff out a little whine in response to his accusation.
He quickly lets go and pushes your head back onto the bed, forcibly turning your body around. Pulling on the roots of your hair he pulls you up holding onto the softness of your neck after pressing a soft kiss to your head. “Remember this, birdy, this is for me. This is all so I feel good..” he pants against your neck teasing your folds feeing your legs twitch at every graze of his fingers. “Such a pathetic little bitch letting me treat you like this, throwing away your life for me just to get fucked like you don’t matter..”
That is what you did, isn’t it? You always had a choice after you stupidly jumped off a 20 story building. He showed you exactly who he was and still, you ended up at his mercy, crying for more of his callous treatment because you can’t get enough.
You sniffle and whine at the intense pleasure caused by his rudeness. You pant as his calloused fingers ravage their way down to your opening, your pussy anticipating Keigo just fully shoving it inside you. “Kei.. I’m sorry. Please, please, make me feel good. I’ll be good I swe-“
He swiftly swats the side of your face, breath hitching at the surprise, your cheek tingling from the sensation leaving you lovingly lightheaded. You shut up and take whatever he has to give you with nothing less a smile on your face. You wish he’d just shove his cock anywhere he pleases just so he can forgive you, just so you can hear that sweet rumble of praise from how good you are for him. Because Keigo’s approval of you is just as good as his degradation, both are enough to make you cry out of joy.
More tears follow the last, not because it hurt but the desperation for any part of him to be inside of you kills you inside, you’d die for it, and he knows that.
He stiffles a cruel laugh. “Aw, you cryin’? Don’t start crying now, you’ll turn me on too much..” After so much anguish he pushes his fingers inside of you, mercilessly going in and out, not giving you time to prepare. You yelp and cry inadvertently trying to crawl away from how overstimulating it feels, yet you just fall chest down ass up onto the plush bed, holding onto his freehand by your head like a clutch.
The only sound in the room coming from your drooling pussy squelching over and over, each jab drenching and pulling his fingers inside even more. Keigo curses at how warm you are, he can feel it. He knows exactly how your masochistic body likes to operate. Purposely taunting and arousing him until he’s forced to jackrabbit the fuck out your pussy until you pass out and still continue- fucking your passed out body till he sees creamy white spill out, moaning while forcing every drop of cum he has left right in your pretty womb with a nice low groan of pleasure. You both know you don’t have to say it to want it.
The feeling is so intense you’re just a babbling mess- no pure or smart thoughts, just mumbling out of pleasure to mumble. Your eyes are limp and dazed looking at the dimmed sky from the window, gripping onto Keigo’s wrist next to your head as if the bed will swallow you whole if you let go. You sense that potent feeling of an orgasm about to let loose, your babbles become load moans. The sound of your sloppiness getting louder with your voice. Keigo grazes his sight down your sheen body and curses as he finally pulls his hand out your sloppy pussy, leaving strings of your arousal. He can feel how agonizingly hard his cock is just from touching you, tip leaking white and ready to give to his sweet, bumbling girl.
He drips down spit to your pussy for good measure and looks back at your head to see you giving him the most loving look he’s ever seen in his life.
Keigo would never admit it, but it’s the first time he’s ever received and reciprocated such an intimate gaze. He puffs a nice low groan, looking down biting his lip as he finally pushes himself into your warmth, watching you slowly swallow him with white all the way up to the base of his big cock.
“That’s right sweet girl, I know you want it, I know your whore pussy wants it so bad- let me give it to you..” he leans down and grips your neck with a threatening squeeze, “This is all you’re good for,” he lowly hums, hissing as he gives another rigorous thrust. “You don’t wanna let me go n’ I won’t give us up, birdy, as long as you cum for me, alright? Let me use you- take care of you..” The feeling was almost too much for Keigo, he had never imagined someone that was good enough for him, that there was someone that could be a pillar in his completely fucked and screwed up life others curated for him.
After every thrust your pussy leaves a white ring and squelches as an invite to shove himself right back in even harder than the last, to make your response louder than the before.
Inbetween the moment you still find the energy to confess your love to him but can barely get halfway before he quickly covers your mouth and gives his last powerful thrusts into you. Huffing and groaning not being able to hold back how good you feel while you fuck him back in desperation like he knew you would, like you always do.
Practically drooling with whimpering sobs and tears behind his strong calloused hand, at last your selfish pussy grasps onto his cock as you orgasm feeling liquid slosh everywhere, your yelp into Keigo’s hand not able to contain yourself. Your hips desperately trying to get away as Keigo continues to fuck your overstimmed pussy in an effort to breed you like you deserve- moaning at you completely drenching yourself with him.
He feels himself coming to an end, holding back his hiccuped gasps- using his free hand to hold and massage your pelvis directly to his. “Oh fuck, baby, that’s right- take it, take it..” he gives you everything he has in exchange for all of you- cumming with a choked grunt in your neck, filling you with his seed like he promised he would, not letting a single drop escape.
Your whole body feels tingly with the last sprinkle of dopamine in your body, shuddering as you both collapse.
It didn’t take rocket science for you to know there was just something deeply unhinged about Keigo, as he’d probably say the same about you. You can tell intimacy was something very new to his life as he tried to shut you up before you can finish your sentence. However, you didn’t really mind much.
Keigo being your first in everything, you swore to yourself and him in that letter you will hold him up even if you didn’t think you had the strength to. You want to know more about his uprising, the stories he doesn’t tell in “exclusive” interviews- you are much more than a stupid fan and did not care if he thought of you as naive.
A slight wind chill comes through the crack in the window cooling off both your bodies. Keigo grips your jaw with need, pulling your head back to share his first kiss together filled with passion and little butterflies all over your body that leaves you wanting more. He lifts up an arm and gently pets back your hair and rubbing your head in the process letting you rest right next to him.
Even with how callous Keigo can get to leave you completely speechless and subdue you, you will take every slap, kiss, and word because the sick part of you wants it more than air itself. As for Keigo, he needed to find something he can tear and build back up, having no way to cope with the consistent pressure of the world and wanting a way out for a moment.
He loves to tear you down, but wants to keep you extra close and pay attention to every detail as he builds you back up,
to make you just as perfect as you were before.
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Oh my gosh that’s it! My first story in over two years since my senior writing class haha. I hope you all enjoyed, feel free to let me know your thoughts or writing critiques- i always want to get better.
Please reblog and like, thank you ʕ⁎̯͡⁎ʔ༄
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azullumi · 9 months
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“and they were roommates” ; ayato & baizhu
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summary — what is he like as your roommate? in correlation, how does he often act around his home shared with you?
includes — ayato and baizhu (w/ gender-neutral reader) ; separate
tags — fluff, modern au, domestic fluff if you squint so hard, no established relationship, some sprinkle of smau ; headcanons
note — i srsly dont know what ayato will take in college ; masterlist
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ayato, your rich and sweet roommate
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nice, sweet, caring, and gentle, he’s one of the best roommate you’ll ever ask for. it’s a wonder that he doesn’t have a ring on his finger and it’s no wonder that you two are mistaken as a couple from how you act around each other—having matching mugs and items, doing a lot of things together, and most likely choosing to spend time with one another even if there will just be silence.
despite the fact that he’s often busy and holed up in his own room, he still looks after you and as well as himself and you also do the same for him. he tells you if he won’t be able to come home or will be late, reminding you to keep the door locked and closed every time, and he worries for you if you’re nowhere to be found in your home. he opts for eating together with you and would even take you out.
he loves coffee—strong ones—in the morning and occasionally during the night when he’s busy working on something, perhaps some projects and paperworks. he appreciates it whenever you come knocking on his door and bringing him with a cup of it. however, nothing can beat his love for boba and milk tea, he often comes home sipping one on his hand and another one on the other hand that is for you.
is a messy but organized type of person and his room is a great example of that. it’s messy and things are everywhere the place but not displeasing messy—the papers are all compiled yet cluttered on his desk, his laundry isn’t folded but they’re all in his basket, his blanket is unfolded or wrinkled but that’s the only disorderly thing on his bed, and more.
but despite the untidiness of his space, it’s never dirty. he doesn’t keep plates and such in his room and will always eat at the dining area (he also washes the dishes if he’s done), he disposes of his garbage in the proper place, and he cleans after himself every time.
baizhu, your caring roommate, also a medicine student
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extremely caring and attentive but not to the point that it’s suffocating. he’s helpful with the chores and is even patient when guiding or teaching you when you’re not used to some things. although the burden of all of the tasks doesn’t just rest on his shoulders as the two of you have schedules to specific ones and often take turns such as in cooking—it’s no problem, however, if one of you are unable to accomplish the task assigned.
he’s always the one to prepare breakfast and will be willing to pack you something, he cares for your wellbeing a lot and is not afraid to show it. although you wonder how he’s able to work so hard despite his busy schedule. he wakes up early, makes breakfast, does whatever he has planned for that day, and always comes home on time if ever he goes out. he also goes out for groceries, usually asking you if ever you want to accompany him or if you need something so that he can get you it.
you notice how he gets tired easily and avoids straining himself, would opt for asking for help from you if ever he needs to carry something heavy such as grocery bags. on that note, you sometimes find him passed out on the couch on a random afternoon but he wakes up easily, however—even if it’s just the smallest noise.
he organizes everything, food goes into the pantry or the refrigerator if needed, kitchen items and equipment will stay in the kitchen (absolutely no knives anywhere outside that area), personal belongings are not to be littered and mixed up with the other’s (he’ll lightly tell you off if you leave your things scattered), and the medicine should be stored in the proper place—he puts labels on some of it so that it’s not mixed with another one and to avoid confusion.
random facts about him: he prefers tea as its much healthier, doesn’t walk around the home barefoot, and he remembers where everything is placed—he has quite an incredible memory.
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.
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lily-orchard · 3 months
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Why don't you like Astarion? Besides annoying simps?
Short Version: If I had a nickel for every time a game released in 2023 prominently featured a male character being abused and them becoming a Chaotic Evil psychopath who eats people, I'd have two nickels.
Long Version:
Astarion is one of those characters who is built around "the twist" in that he's actually an abuse victim and former sex slave. But in order to keep that guise up, he spends much of the game being the single most unrepentantly evil psychopath the Baldur's Gate series has ever seen. He manages to out-cartoon Dorn Il Khan.
So you end up in this weird situation where the guy who was enslaved and treated terribly disapproves when you object to those things, and who keeps acting in complete contradiction to what his experiences should have taught him, making the twist less impactful. Ironically they could have used the "Approves/Disapproves" thing they stole from BioWare to actually surprise the player, but that would have gotten in the way of the player's "I can fix him" fantasy.
Like I said, trauma is only interesting as a narrative tool when it influences how a character thinks. But when writers only go as far as "cycle of abuse" and stop there, you end up with a boring character who is borderline offensive.
Astarion is a particularly egregious example of this because his character only improves if the player is big on the "I can fix them" brainrot, so his backstory is "I was some guy's plaything" and then his story in game is about becoming the PLAYER'S plaything.
I look at people who insist Astarion is "so deep and complex" and what I see are the people who spent years writing Sylvanas/Jaina fanfiction where Jaina was some horny idiot wanting the evil lady to step on her and pretending they were doing Sylvanas' character justice. And those are the writers.
Astarion is a fucking blow-up doll. His personality, appearance, mannerisms, and fucking VOICE are all built from stock types, and plays off extremely violent and hateful tropes about abuse victims that like most writers today only get as far as "hurt people hurt people" and stops trying after that point.
And while it is true that abuse victims can often go on to hurt others, it's not part of some villain arc. It's a complicated situation of unlearning survival strategies, which no story that covers this subject ever takes seriously because that might get in the way of "I can fix him! Villain rizz!"
Gee, I wonder why an abuse victim doesn't like the villain fetish version of an abuse victim.
I already played one game that prominently featured this garbage, why are you expecting me to pretend it's own duplicate is somehow different?
Astarion's character fucking sucks. It's always sucked. These tropes have always sucked. Doing them for the 100th time doesn't magically make them not suck. And the only people who think his character doesn't suck are people who think "cycle of abuse" is a porn tag and whose ideal skin treatment involves Clorox.
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magicbratt · 1 year
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hi!!
idk if you're taking requests, but my greedy self was wondering if you could write hcs for the Aarons with a fem s/o who is a little on the curvy side... if you could do sfw AND nsfw, that would be 👌
AARON Z AND AARON T WITH A CURVY GIRLFRIEND
cw/stuff: suggestive, nsfw & Aaron z's under the cut, fem/afab reader, bit of cuss words, switches between third and 2nd person sorry if that makes u upset
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Aaron T (sfw but slightly suggestive)
He’s definitely infatuated (as he would be with any body type his s/o would have)
But he cannot for the life of him, take his hands of you. Always touching you.
Gripping your thigh whenever your sitting down, hands cupping your ass whenever you hug him, even massaging your boobs whenever you guys cuddle and burries is face in them
cant help but always be touching his pretty girlfriend </3
Aaron is def big on fashion (proved by manga too). But one thing about him? He was thinks everything looks GREAT on you. No matter what you’re wearing he’s throwing compliments at you and taking 1000 pictures to add to his album of you
Could be wearing a garbage bag, he thinks it looks fucking amazing on you
But does absolutely love it when you dress up all fancy.
There’s gotta be one time where his gf wore a skin tight dress that hugged her curves and he just didn’t know what to do with himself..
Had the band looking for you two because you both suddenly disappeared to the bathroom for a while 🫢
Aaron would wanna come shopping with you even if you insist it’s gonna take you a while to pick clothes. He just wants to help and get that bonus of the little fashion show you give him so he could another hundred pictures to his collection
On the topic of your pictures, this is literally him:
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One of the millions of pictures he keeps of you is his phone lock screen and he changes the photo like 10x a day cause he just keeps taking new pics of you (you're too gorgeous) :'((
He thinks your so pretty that he’s thinking about buying more phones just so he can have multiple lock screens of you
he was so serious about it too.
Aaron's aware whenever you go out people are gonna be looking at you. Of course they would! His girlfriend is the definition of perfection!!
He shows you off so proudly and slightly teases all the others that want you but CAN"T have you😛
Not afraid to fight at all. One time a paparazzi told you to “shake some ass for the camera” and you had to push T away from them even though he kept insisting he just wanted to “talk” to the guy (his clenched fists said otherwise)
Loves to wear full body matching outfits with you and even posts them to his insta story like a little photoshoot. Y'all:
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He loves his gf so much he won’t shut up about you
Especially on social media
Always reposting your stuff, tweeting about how lucky he is, making those cringey couple tiktoks (like that lipstick trend going around right now where the person A messes up their lipstick and it cuts to person B with kiss marks all over), it's so cute.
And R.I.P to any hate comments about you or how you look.
He WILL go to said persons page and clown em. Will also take the time and effort to find tweets or tiktoks they did whether a month ago or 3 years ago.
He'll put in all the effort for you.
Aaron ❤️’s his bbg
NSFW
T lets you know how much he loves his s/o. Verbally and physically.
While he is hasty with things, he tries to take his time with you. So he takes the role of eating you out very seriously. In fact he'd surprisingly enough finds more pleasure in having his nose and tongue in her folds rather than having HER suck him off
Offers to prep her with his tongue every time. And Aaron gets so into it at times and thinks that she just tastes so nice that he totally loses track of space and time and the world (you’re his world tho😉)
His whole mind and body its just so occupied with eating you out that he doesn't realize he's had his face in your pussy for almost 20 minutes now and you're on the track to your fourth orgasm :((
He didn't even notice your hands lightly trying to push his head away because he's so good at what he does and you're already feeling overstimmed </3
Def a 'messy eater'. He's just so drunk off you he's trying his best not to get the sheets too wet from your juices and his drool. And he's trying to lick up everything and its js too much
And one thing about T? He WANTS you to sit on his face. PLEASE let him!! He is BEGGING!!!
He just wants to be suffocated under your ass, oh my, he would love to perish that way.
If you let him do that, he is not letting go of your legs. Cause now he's REAL into it. He's gripping your thighs so hard you can barley even lift yourself off him and he has to apologize after for the faint finger marks he left
T prolly rlly likes your tits so he might enjoy cowgirl, but he has to be sitting up so he has easy access to groping his favorite pair of boobies and he can bury is face in them the same way he does when y'all cuddle. (++he can grip your ass)
And he enjoys hickeys. On you AND him.
He's leaving marks on your thigh before he digs in (😉) and SO MANY bites on your chest because he's just so obsessed with those two mounds omg
He will maybe have to try and cover them for publicity and his PR team said so or sum. (He sneakily leaves a visible one on his neck so he can start a scandal on twitter lol)
kneels, cries, and confesses his sins to ur pussy🧎
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AARON Z (sfw)
Z loves you. Every bit of you (real)
He just can’t help but stare at you sometimes. You’re so effortlessly beautiful ya know? (and maybe he also kinda likes the way your butt jiggles when you walk away)
Have a feeling he just looks at you sometimes. Just so mesmerized buy the sight of ol’ pretty you. Sometimes it might seem creepy cause you’ll be sleeping and you wake up to him just staring at you while your both in bed. (and maybe he does wake up a little earlier so he can get the chance to take in your gorgeous resting face)
Just has to take in that you’re really his. HIS s/o
Openly invites you to sit in his lap. Doesn’t vocally say it but he lightly drags you to his legs when you were aiming for the spot on the couch next to him. And even when you’re already sitting next to him, Z kinda just inches you towards his lap with the arm he has on your waist. And sometimes he just gestures to his lap when you’re looking for a seat.
His hands find their way to your waist in a lot of situations. That’s one of the few PDA’s he’ll do. Lowkey likes it better than hand holding just because he feels like you’re in a more protective stance rather than hand holding. (and it outwardly shows that you’re his to any scheming onlookers)
So walking through the mall, sitting down, at a party, or anywhere. People will find Z with his hand placed where it’s home is, right on his gfs waist <3
Prolly (most definitely) used his girlfriends butt as a pillow when they’re lying down in bed. She would just be sitting in bed scrolling through tiktok and then almost drop her phone out her hand cause Z playfully nipped her right ass cheek. (she’d pinch his nose and tell him to quit it and he’s like “yeah m’ sorry ofc ml” but then he does it again 5 min later..he thinks it’s HILARIOUS peak comedy in his eyes)
Definitely an ass guy so is thrilled whenever you choose to wear something tight fitting that makes your backside pop out. Not in a perverted way, but more of like a loving boyfriend type beat 🥰 (lol)
Z works out so whenever you decide to go out with him he’s trynna subtly fend off all the other people eyeing you by giving them glares (scary dog bf type vibes)
Helps you do workouts, like one of those types who would hold your feet when you do sit ups, stand behind you when you do squats (he’s not looking at your ass, don’t question it, he’s def just helping out!! 😛) and help you lift weights
Also likes you watching him workout. He just wants to look good for you so, hey, if you think his abs look nice when he’s sweating, who is he to call you out on the “eyes” your giving him? He’ll just be a bit smug about it in his head for now and you two will have fun at home later (or maybe in the car if his gf just can’t keep her hands to herself😞)
He doesn’t care about what social media thinks of your relationship much (he only rlly cares about you) so isn’t worried about any hate comments cause he simply doesn’t look at them
But if he happens to stumble across one like:
@/curlyheadbri: is it just me or is aaron z’s gf all plastic?? that bbl looks HORRID, she needs get herself togetherr 😂 #herwholebodyistotsplastic
or; @/prettyboyjay: that kid arlnod z or whtv don’t deserve that fine ass woman😍, she needa real man like me. i can take that lil boy out in a second he can’t fight
The block button is so easy to click for him 😚 (and if @/prettyboyjay wants to throw hands Z can throw hands for his lady 😂 he don’t mind)
Only time he really goes on social media is to like your posts, comment a: 🖤💜 (maybe post a funny video of you two on his secret account) and leave.
His lock screen is probably you kissing him on the cheek when you both were out on a dessert date and he just stares at it sometimes. Like he’ll turn on his phone just to look at the pic for like 5 min and then turns it back off. (sometimes tae will catch this and be so confused like; “why was he looking at the time for so long?”)
Have a feeling you to have some matching pieces of clothes, like matching shirts or hats or some element.
Like maybe one time you were wearing that “HOT PERSON AT WORK” shirt in blue and posted a tiktok. And then like a week later an interview with 4town came out (maybe like hot wings or sum) and he was wearing the same shirt but maybe in black
And people were making edits on tiktok ab it was prolly so cute. (can imagine someone making those “fake beef” ones and the comments are like “the fight bud wass crazyyy”
And you ABSOLUTELYY have matching pajamas. Like a black tank top and those red plaid pj pants (i think i got this idea from some other 4town acc)
But yeah Z is his gf’s man 4L
NSFW
From popular belief and as already mentioned before, Z likes ass. No doubt ab it. So it’s common to find your face buried into the pillow and fingers clawing at the sheets (that are sticking to your skin cause how much you’re sweating </3) as your boyfriend is pounding into you from behind while gripping your hips so tight you hope it doesn’t leave any marks :(
Or using his legs as support as you bounce like an animal in heat in the ‘reverse cowgirl’ position as his hands are in their usual place on your waist while he gives your butt an occasional little smack (not a hard one, just one where he can see your ass recoil)
He just loves to see your ass jiggle it’s so mesmerizing to him it’s like an optical illusion he loves it
But worry not he loves seeing the way your beautiful face looks during the deed as well.
Z’s strong. so him being able to hold you up against the wall while he thrusts into you is no suprise. And he’s so gonna just look at you like he always does; with absolute puppy-sick love eyes. He just stares at you while kissing your forehead or cheek a few times and your way too into his dick that you really don’t remember the last time you saw him blink.
And he just whispers into your ear about how much he fucking loves you. and how wonderful and pretty you are. (and how you feel so good)no matter how rough or soft the sex session is
And Z would love to hear it back. He would love to hear about how good he makes you feel, and how much you love your handsome hard-working boyfriend, or how you love that he takes care of you so well (could go for a non sexual setting as well)
Z’s never mean to you..except maybe sometimes. sometimes he just wants to tease you, ya know? he lives for that pouty look you give him when he prods at your entrance with his dick and doesn’t stick it in right away. or when you gasp suddenly because he nipped your neck playfully in the shower. He’ll do whatever you desire, eventually..he just wants to kid with you a bit first. forgive him!! he can’t help it, you’re too cute with your adorable reactions
He’ll try his best to satisfy you even when he’s too tired or busy to do the deed. If he’s exhausted from dance practice and you’re in the mood? He can put his fingers to work you. Or better yet, you can use him. He’ll lay down and let you bounce on him to your hearts desire, he’s so sorry he couldn’t do much but he’d rather die then let his girl go unsatisfied.
And your bf Z will give you a proper fuck in the morning after he’s regained his energy <3
4town Aaron sketches:
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obsessedtomone · 2 months
Text
Unravel Yourself Before Me ⛓️ Chapter 8 - Close Call▸Shigaraki x femReader
Chapter Summary:
◤ From the moment he saw you in the convenience store, he thought you were a major fucking pain in the ass.
The way you stared at him in disgust—the way everyone fucking stared at him—like he was some piece of garbage to be thrown out, made him want to strangle you until he saw the light leaving your eyes. You thought you were so fucking cool, talking back to him when you had no clue who he was or what he was capable of.
Absolutely fucking clueless. ◢ Setting: University AU - No quirks (unless degenerate personalities count) Tags: Slow burn, Eventual Smut, Unhealthy/Toxic Relationships, Humiliation, Mentally Ill Reader, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to ??? Warning: Dead Dove – Do Not Eat | Mind the tags TW: Implied Su/Self H, Dubcon, Reader has a super shitty past like actually, Shigaraki Tomura is his own warning.
AO3 Crosspost | Chain Divider by firefly-graphics
Chapters: One • Two • Three • Four • Five • Six • Seven • Eight • Nine Updates every Monday!
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Chapter 8 - Close Call
The changing colors, seeping through the old glass panels of your dirty windows and dancing against your almost white walls were the only indication that time was actually passing—leaving you behind.
Occasionally there would be a loud motorcycle racing down the empty street, or you would hear neighbors arguing with each other somewhere alongside the building.
Your head was now hanging off your bed and you were boring holes into the space. Maybe you’d be lucky to form a blood clot on your brain, have a stroke and die.
You’d snort at the thought, but you’re too tired to fucking care. Instead, you only feel empty, empty, empty.
Somewhere deep down, you think you feel hungry too.
When was the last time you had eaten? You’ve probably been laying on your bed like this for hours today.
You – im taking the next few days off, dont come over i’ll be fine
Despite your phone ringing for days, your friend knew better than to try and come over when you felt like this. You still don’t pick up.
This type of shut-down happened only one other time during your friendship, somewhere last year when your ex found out where you lived and showed up to talk.
Talk with his fist against your face when you told him—knife in your hand—to fucking dare get any closer.
Taylor's impeccable sixth sense, otherwise known as obsession to bother you whenever it suited them best, saved you that day…from trying to slice his fucking throat open.
You don’t remember how your friend got rid of him, especially when you’d told them you’d get in big trouble if they called the authorities to report him, but after the adrenaline passed, you had crashed for two weeks.
It worried them sick. That, you remember.
They eventually called the police and the paramedics to break into your apartment, but you just stood there, confused. You ended up warning Taylor to leave you alone when this happened, the presence of people—of the fucking police—only draining you and pushing you over the edge.
You’d be fine soon, but everyone needed to fuck off.
The officer had gotten really angry after realizing you were cognizant enough to stay out of the psych ward, and almost wrote both of you up for wasting his time with dramatics.
Taylor doesn’t fully understand why or how you end up shutting down. They never feel the need to hide away from the world, no matter how traumatic any incident was to them.
In fact, it was quite the opposite for your friend. Where you would hide from everyone, they would distract themselves with parties, drugs, hook-ups. Anything to make it better. You weren’t like them, though.
You were you.
That however, didn’t stop Taylor from blowing up your phone—asking, offering, pestering you every single day, if they could bring you something to eat at least.
You don’t reply.
You need space.
Space to pretend you don't exist.
Expecting to be fired, you had called your manager Gene (you don’t remember at what point, though), to tell him you didn’t really know when you’d be available to take another shift. He told you not to worry about it and take as many days off as you needed “kid”.
It reminded you that not all people in the world were assholes. That at least some people cared about you.
You could probably count the amount of nice things anyone’s done to you on your fingers.
So you do. You raise your hand in front of your face, while your head is still hanging off the bed, and start literally counting on your fucking fingers.
There was Taylor—you put one finger down.
There was your manager—you put a second finger down.
There was also that guy at the arcade, the one you should probably quit worrying about. You didn’t message him again after you told him you would, and it still fucking bothers you for some reason. Despite that, he counted as someone who was nice to you. You put a third finger down.
Would he be weirded out if you messaged him now? Maybe you could hit the arcade with someone outside your bubble, and forget you were you for a second. You end up spacing out again.
A distant ringtone brings you out of your daze and you glance at your phone. You’d changed your number. Was that last week? How many days have passed?
You don’t remember.
You should probably order take-out before you pass out again.
Fast food, you think.
Yeah, fast food sounds really damn good right now, fuck your savings.
Dead people need no savings.
The phone is still ringing. You reach for it and look at the display. Unknown number.
Against your better judgment, you pick up. You still hoped it wasn’t another creep looking for a hook-up. If it was, maybe you’d take them up on it, fuck it.
That’s what they all expected from you anyways.
However, you were met with only silence for a while.
“Hey,” the last person you wanted to hear from says quietly. “I uhh—I got this number from your friend.” you hear him swallowing thickly, making you frown.
Did he fucking threaten them? You should be getting mad, but all you can feel is nothing.
“I’ve—...It’s been a while since you, uh...” you hear him curse under his breath as he trailed off, “It’s been two weeks. Your friend, uh, Taylor? Told me you’re not feeling well and—”
“What do you want from me?” you snap, hearing your voice sounding rough, from prolonged dehydration if you had to guess. You wanted to reply with some snarky comment, something to taunt him, but you didn’t have energy. You couldn’t care less anyways.
Nothing fucking matters.
After a moment of hesitation, Shigaraki almost whispered.
“Come back to school.”
“Alright, fuck off.” you reply, raising your phone to your face and almost ending the call if not for the bright fucking screen blinding you for a second.
“I deleted them.” he said, attempting to keep you from hanging up.
It worked.
“Huh?”
“I removed the thread. It doesn’t exist anymore. Anywhere. At all.”
For a moment, you think about it, realizing you’re supposed to feel some sort of relief—but all you felt was nothing.
“Why.” you say, not ask. You don’t understand, why would he go through the trouble?
Thinking is really hard right now.
“Come to school and we’ll talk. Have you eaten yet?” you think you hear concern in his voice, but you know better, so you scoff.
It took you a while to reply, but he didn’t press you the way he always did.
He just… waited.
“...No.”
“Do you…” he mumbles, hesitating again. “Do you wanna grab a bite with me? I’ll—I’ll pay.” he hurried to get it out before you shut him down.
“Shigaraki.”
“Yeah?”
“Why the fuck would I go anywhere with you?”
“If you let me take you out once, you’ll find out.” he promises.
A promise that you didn’t care for him to fulfill.
You huffed and shuffled around and weren’t about to make this easy for him, he knew.
He knew you never will, but he’s nothing if not ambitious.
“We’re not friends.” you bite, “We’re not even on friendly terms. I was an asshole to you, I fucked with you and you got to ruin my life in return. The end.” you asserted, going over the list with him. “How stupid do you think I am? Even if you did get rid of the thread now, everyone fucking saw everything, they could have saved it, the damage is—”
“Done, I know. I…”
You rolled your eyes, almost cutting him off again, but still waited to hear what he had to say—which was fucking nothing apparently, because he ended up only cursing and sighing.
It wasn’t hard to figure out how someone could end up as fucked up as he was.
If life managed to fuck you up and help you become as dysfunctional as you were right now, you can’t imagine the damage it takes for a person to grow into someone like him.
Rich people are weird, but they’re also cowards. They don’t stand out like he does, they mostly keep to themselves—keep the dirt in the family, behind closed doors.
Yet Shigaraki seemed to only seek destruction in his path.
Either he was born a natural psychopath and his parents don’t fucking care about him or…they too were insane pieces of shit—
You blink. Why on earth would you rationalize his fucking behaviour?! God knows you didn’t go to therapy for so long only for you to fall back into bad habits.
He hurt you. He is the bad guy.
But by that standard, so were you, if you counted the times you’ve fucked up in your life, until you were lucky to know better. Regardless of what your therapist would tell you.
Besides, you’ve been through much worse than what he’s shown you so far.
You’ll probably spend the rest of your life regretting your following words.
“Where…did you wanna meet?”
His ears perked up at that, phone slipping from his hands and crashing on the floor. You heard muffled curses and a hasty reply.
“Fuck, really?! You’ll come?”
If you’re honest, you don’t think you’ve ever heard him sound positively excited—save for whenever he caught you suffering—but then again, you don’t really know him at all.
The reason you’re even willing to take him up on his offer, as stupid as it was, is the same self-destructive reason you would’ve hooked up with any residual college creep you expected to call you earlier.
Because you deeply, deeply needed to sabotage yourself.
“Keep asking, and I might change my mind. I gotta shower first and—oh,” is the last thing he hears before you trip and—thud—face plant. “Fuck.” you said softly, closing your eyes.
You didn’t really eat or drink anything lately, which was probably why you felt your consciousness slowly slipping away.
“Hey—okay?—llo?”
His panicked raspy voice is the last thing you hear before you’re completely out of it.
You hope it was for good this time. ─────────
The first sign that you’re unfortunately still very much alive, is that you don’t feel the promised nothingness. The forever inexistence you hoped to achieve after your oh-so-tragic passing. Where would they bury you, anyways?
Instead, the first sound that your brain registers is a loud pounding in the distance.
Followed by people yelling.
Feeling your mind slowly booting up, you attempt to get up.
Instead of succeeding though, you slip and fall again, groaning audibly. Around the third attempt, you finally get to your feet.
Miserable and clutching your empty, hurting stomach, you slowly walk towards the source of the obnoxious pounding, feeling an awful lot of deja vu.
“Fuck off! This is your fucking fault—” you hear and immediately recognize your best friend’s voice arguing with…?
“Get off my fucking case. If you would’ve checked up on her we wouldn't even be here, you dumb—”
Ah, of course he’d be here too. How is it that he’s anywhere and everywhere, all at once—from the moment you fall asleep to the moment you wake, incessantly haunting you like a goddamn fucking ghost.
“Shut the fuck UP, you creep! Don’t get me STARTED, you insane piece of shit, do you even know what she even went through when you—”
Being fed up with the noise, you open the door to the commotion, interrupting their argument as both of the loud idiots snap their heads towards the woman of the hour.
“I have fucking neighbors too, you know?”
They both stared at you as if you became the eighth wonder of the world, prompting you to arch a brow.
“Well, you look like shit.” Shigaraki breaks the tension.
Both you and your friend glare daggers at him.
“What?” he mumbles, looking away, his hand habitually reaching to scratch his neck. “It’s true.”
Rolling your eyes while Taylor was gearing up to say something back, you open your door for them to come in.
“Do not talk shit about the mess,” you say, kicking random things out of your way. “I don’t have a couch, sit wherever you want, or don’t. I don’t care.”
You trip right after saying that, but Shigaraki is quick to grab you by your waist, making you stiffen up and immediately shove him off.
“Do not fucking touch me.” you hiss, and he huffs in response, frowning.
Normally, you know he wouldn’t let that slide, but something weird is going on with him and you don’t have the willpower or energy to unpack his nice guy behavior from today.
Taylor was knocking shit over, opening and closing what seemed like every fucking drawer and cupboard of your two by two kitchen, trying to find something—anything—that was edible in your pantry.
“I’m fine, you really didn’t have to come over. Especially not you.” you glare at Shigaraki and say it like you weren’t starving to death and were ready to be put in a coffin if they hadn’t shown up.
“Like hell you are!” your friend replies sharply, not bothering to spare you a second look in their quest for finding food.
Your eyes landed on him again, noticing his head hanging low and the mop of white hair messily covering his face as he furiously scratched at his neck, drawing blood from the sensitive skin. You couldn’t see his expression save for a glimpse of red, and honestly didn’t really care to.
“Yuck, stop that.” you swat his hand away.
Shigaraki finally meets your eyes and you notice dark eyebags. He looked worse than he normally did, and that’s saying something. He was so confident and full of himself usually, so much so, that this weird uncertainty looked out of place on his face. What made him so uneasy?
“What?” you spit.
He doesn’t reply, instead he grunts and looks away. The fuck is his problem?
“Okay! So!” Taylor makes their way over with a glass of cold water and hands it to you. “You have absolutely fucking nothing to eat in this dump you call home. Incredible news, I know.” they rolled their eyes and placed their hands on their hips while you immediately started chugging the glass down. Who knew water could taste so refreshing?
“Shigaraki, be a big boy and go to the convenience store ‘round the corner to buy a few things while I help this bitch clean up. Don’t buy anything too heavy on the stomach, ‘cos she hasn’t eaten in a while, isn’t that right sweetheart?”
Oh, you just noticed. They were mad. But that would come later, when you’re stable enough to take an honest-to-god beating from them.
“Wha—Why the fuck would I go?” he growls at Taylor irritatedly, but is only met with a smug look.
“Ok then, I’ll go! Are you going to stay here, take her clothes off and help her take a shower? Scrub her clean for me, babe? Can’t you see she can barely fucking stand?” Taylor shot him a look.
“Hey! I’m not a fucking kid!” you say but they both ignored you.
Shigaraki’s eyes widen and a bright red flush spreads on his pale features.
“That’s what I thought.” Taylor snorts.
You can’t help but stare at him incredulously. Was he seriously flustered at the mere prospect of you taking your clothes off? He’s literally seen god knows how much disgusting footage of you naked or fucking somebody. Not only that but he also posted said footage online for everyone to jerk off to.
Is this the same guy who pinned you against the wall in a public hallway, telling you how undeserving of his cock you were, because you were a little mean to him? The train of thought filled you with newfound anger, but before you could snap at Taylor for even daring to suggest such a thing instead of kicking him out, they spoke first.
“I know I took you with me on a whim,” your friend begins, referring to the only black fucking sheep in the room, “But I really don’t trust you after all the bullshit. Hooooonestly… I’m still waiting for her to snap at me for showing you where she lives. She’s about to use the last three percent of her energy to try to kill me, so you better go now. It’s the least you can do for her, emo boy.” Taylor says, bracing themselves and it finally clicks.
Oh.
Oh, right.
“Seriously?! What the FUCK were you thinking?” you shout at them.
You know your friend was careless, but letting Shigaraki have more access to ways of fucking you over was pushing it.
“Wait, wait, wait! I can explain!” were Taylor’s famous last words, as you deliriously started hauling any object or piece of trash you could at them.
Tomura glanced at you a final time, before quietly slipping past the both of you and out of the noisy apartment.
Your friend wasn’t lying to you, they really did only take him with them on a whim.
In fact, they had a whole ass mental breakdown when he texted them about what happened. Shigaraki didn’t really understand why they let him see you after all that he’s done, figuring they must be really fucking dumb and a horrible friend.
He wasn’t about to complain, though.
This was a golden opportunity for him to learn what made you tick and how to break you just enough to build you up again for him—without risking you killing yourself in the process.
He needed to be very careful in the future, unlike today where he almost fucked up, underestimating just how fragile your will to live was.
He’d make you want to live, he told himself as he was walking down the stairs of your building. He’s gotten this far—and after all, there was no end boss he couldn’t beat before.
Little did you know, the past few weeks had been rough for him too.
Not that you’d ever find out—or care. ───────── The bell rang and he was still standing in the hallway where you left him, looking off in the distance and hoping to materialize you again out of thin air.
Scratch, scratch, scratch.
His neck was unbearably itchy at the thought of you rejecting him again. At the thought of himself messing up. He never messes up. It didn’t make sense.
He shouldn’t care about you.
You were nothing to him before.
From the moment he saw you in the convenience store, he thought you were a major fucking pain in the ass.
The way you stared at him in disgust—the way everyone fucking stared at him—like he was some piece of garbage to be thrown out, made him want to strangle you until he saw the light leaving your eyes. You thought you were so fucking cool, talking back to him when you had no clue who he was or what he was capable of.
Absolutely fucking clueless.
Amusement twinkled in his eyes at your harmless retorts, the best part being that you managed to fuck up in front of him seconds later. What a mess you were.
Like him.
Shigaraki couldn’t help but giggle at your clumsiness.
What an idiot, forgetting your wallet right after you bared your teeth at him. Did you need someone to save you? That’s alright, he can treat you this time. He likes it when people owe him after all. It allowed him to own them.
He didn’t wanna believe his luck when he immediately spots you in class the next day, sitting in his favorite seat. Things couldn’t be more perfect, his new favorite little bitch was going to the same university as him, sharing his classes.
He couldn’t have found a more convenient toy to break if he tried.
“Hey, sponger.” he hits you with a grin from between his dry lips.
Shigaraki could see your brows pinching in surprise.
He very soon found out that he took great pleasure in making you squirm for him. It was funny seeing you getting frustrated over him sitting next to you in class. The same guy who humiliated you one day prior. He fucking reveled in that look.
“Why– ” you start, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt. He watched you gather your thoughts before you spoke again. “How did you even recognize me?”
Your irritation sounded so, so sweet to his ears. Not even the professor walking in could hold him back from messing with you. He leaned into you and whispered, noticing you visibly shuddering at that.
“I’d recognize an ugly skank like you virtually anywhere, rest assured, idiot.” he said, making sure to verbally underline the insult way longer than it was necessary.
Shigaraki watched your reaction, hoping you’d bite back so he could push, push, push. You were so much fun and he’s just met you.
Generally people—especially women—avoided him like the fucking plague.
He wasn’t stupid, he knew what he looked like, his status and horrible personality doing nothing to help him either, save for a few crazies that got off on his violent nature and the hookers his Master occasionally books and insists he should indulge in, despite him turning them down every time.
People were generally afraid of him, but as much as people disliked him, they usually hid it well most of the time, not wanting to become part of his famous track record—to give him a reason to retaliate.
You, however, openly displayed your disgust. You didn’t hide it. You wore it on your sleeve. You weren’t afraid to be found out, in fact you wanted to make sure he heard you.
And he did hear you, crystal fucking clear. Only, he didn’t expect you to be so… Well, you.
Leaning into him yourself, if not a little more aggressively in comparison to his own gesture, you proceed to trap him in his own seat, arm reaching around the back, but deliberately not touching him.
You didn’t touch him but he could feel you. He could feel the warmth radiating from your body, being so close to him. People never got close to him unless he wanted them to, but you fucking dare. His breath hitched.
“I’d hold up a mirror, so you can finally get to see your own dusty ass, but you’d have to buy that for me too, jackass.” you had said, practically spitting in his face. Turns out you coincidentally also didn’t give a fuck about the professor.
Tomura’s eyes widen in the process and he backs off, scratching his neck somewhat disturbingly. Fuck, that was unexpected and you were so fucking cute. It took him a second to compose himself, because your bratty little comeback comment went straight to his cock.
That means, if I play this right—
He finally turned to you again and opened his mouth…
“If you don’t kill the stupid goblin at the beginning of the stage, the final boss won’t carry your S-Grade.” he casually states, pointing at your screen.
Once again, he marveled at how fucking lucky he was. You were playing one of his favorite MMOs–good pick, by the way—allowing him to latch onto that topic like a lifeline. He had to hurry and quickly get on your good side.
Before you found out who he really was and all the half-truths reached your ears too, his notorious reputation ruining everything for him.
“Huh?” you blink.
He found your confused face endearing, but you wouldn’t know that yet. Not until you properly became his.
“Tsk, your game, dumbass. You’ve probably been grinding for hours, only getting it once or twice because you never think to kill the stupid goblin, and only ever do it by accident.” he shrugged. “No one ever does, so they don’t find the pattern without looking up a guide.”
He didn’t expect you to be so obedient already, but you seemed to be either really fucking clueless or incredibly confident, because you actually took him up on his advice, and while you were busy trying out the new acquired strategy, he took his time to really observe you.
Tomura leaned in closer and couldn’t believe how oblivious you could be.
You seemed to dislike him so much, but you let him get close to you? So close that he could easily inhale the nice scent of your shampoo, and because your hair looked so inviting, he wanted to run his fingers through it.
To grip it hard and make your pretty head bob up and down his—
“Ugh!” you slammed your fist on the desk, earning you a few looks. Luckily for him, you didn’t give a fuck.
Close, too close.
His hand was hanging in the air, just behind your head—almost touching you. He quickly retracted it and resumed to just observing you.
How many silly dates would it take you to let him drag you into his apartment? He glanced at your neck. What would you sound like if he marked you? If he covered your body with so many bruises and hickeys until everyone knew you were his? What was your favorite co-op game? Would you sit in his lap when you played together? Would he be able to get you to cockwarm him while you were playing? What was your favorite take-out dinner? Your movie? Do you have siblings? How many lovers have you had? Would he be your first, like you would be his? Would you enjoy being speared on his dick, where you belonged? Would you take him, like the good girl he knows you’ll be? He wasn’t stupid, he knew he’d have to tame you somehow, but you’ll understand. You’ll become his favorite plaything.
Tomura’s thoughts were spiraling uncontrollably and he felt that couldn’t wait. Especially when his cock was so fucking hard and straining against the fabric of his jeans, that it almost hurt.
If only he could skip the boring dialogue and get to the fucking cutscene.
During the little time where his head wasn’t filled with thoughts of bending you over the desk and pounding your pussy in front of the whole class to see, he found out he actually enjoyed something as boring as watching you play.
You were surprisingly decent. Better than Spinner at least. The gear that you were wearing consisted of only legendary sets, ones he’d even use himself—if only with a few modifications to the stats. The kind of gear that, if you were lucky, only dropped from bosses that spawn once a month.
By the time you’d finished your second run, an idea formed in his head.
“Told you so.” he says matter-of-factly, without even a hint of smugness in his voice.
You scoffed at him and rolled your eyes.
It’s alright, he thought. People often got annoyed at him when he was right. You’ll come around, and even if you didn’t, you’d still be fun to debate with, he could tell. You looked so fuckable when you were pouting like a brat, too. It made him want to see you cry.
“Don’t look so pissy, it took me like a week to figure it out and it really drove me insane,” he says, thinking back fondly to all the controllers he managed to break. “I’m usually pretty good at these types of tells in games, but the design of this one made no fucking sense.“
He glances at your game thoughtfully, not catching on, on the fact that it was him that pissed you off, not the game itself. “What's your IGN? We can co-op and raid together.”
It was a great idea, actually.
Partaking in one of his favorite hobbies and getting to know you better would be peak. Two birds with one stone. He’d take it slow, then he’d sweep you off your feet, impressing you with his gaming abilities, knocking your pride down a peg or two. You’d learn to like him too, he resolved.
He’s not all that bad if you left out—a lot of things.
“Sorry?”
You looked at him as if he grew another head.
Huh? What’s wrong? He felt his body starting to itch again.
Why the fuck were you looking at him like that?
You were supposed to want to get to know him too, weren’t you?
But the bell rings before he can say anything to you, and you scurry off, his eyes never leaving your figure until you are out of his sight.
Tomura was now scratching his neck furiously, drawing blood and reopening recently closed wounds, glaring at anyone who dared to so much as look at him in this moment.
He was wrong about you. How could he be wrong? He was never wrong.
But he was. You were exactly like the rest of them.
Stupid bitch.
It’s fine.
He’d find a way to teach you a lesson. ───────── The inside of the convenience store was dimly lit in comparison to the first time he’d met you on his errands, a soft fluorescent glow trying its best to light the store up instead of the bright neon lights that blinded him that day.
The air smelled like a blend of dirty mop water and tobacco, combining into a disgusting but familiar musty scent. Behind the counter wasn’t the usual cashier dude, but an old lady smoking inside the establishment. Tomura scoffed and figured it must’ve been the owner, unable to otherwise explain the audacity.
Fidgeting, he looked around the aisles at various food objects. Would instant noodles count as ‘easy on your stomach’? He’s never really had to care for anyone before, and he’s always had Kurogiri when it came to being cared for.
He shook his head, scrunching his nose and kept searching. It took him about two minutes of googling and another three of pacing around the aisles, his eyes lighting up the moment he finally spotted the canned article in question.
Unbeknownst to him, it was one of your favorite comfort foods.
Chicken soup.
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FTF is so fucking mindboggling to me because who thought it was a good idea to have Willow, Amity, Boscha and Kikimora eat up Luz's screentime? Especially Kikimora because why would you bring in another antagonist when you already have two of them [Philip and The Collector] running around?
If we operate under the assumption no one up top was responsible for some of these awful writing decisions... there was not a single person in that writing room who had enough common sense to say:
"Yeah look, I know it sucks Willow and Amity can't get any development before the show ends. And I know we have fans who want to see the side characters one last time. But we literally dont have the time to do it. We cant take time away from Luz's character arc. We still need to show Caleb and Evelyn so the parallels between them and Luz/Hunter make sense. We also need to show Caleb and Evelyn to contextualize Philip's actions. Luz, Hunter and Philip take top priority in this season because we dont have the time for anyone else. It's awful, but that's just the way it is. It's not a big deal anyway because we can include these minor characters in the timeskip at the end."
And why is Willow having this development with Hunter and not Amity? Dont get me wrong, giving Amity and Willow alot of screentime is still bad because they shouldn't take time away from Luz. But having this development with Amity is more logical than having it with Hunter because Amity was one of Willows bullies. She contributed to Willow's insecurities of being "half a witch". AND THEN instead of it being focused on Willows insecurities its also about HUNTER and how he couldn't tell Willow and Gus they were important to him? WHAT.
Hunter did not need to have this kind of development either by the way. Like the kid died and came back to life AND lost his companion in the previous episode... but of course he doesn't feel a certain type of way about what happened in TTT - his REAL issue is that he couldn't tell Gus and Willow they were important to him... WHAT. Also, you honestly expect me to believe Luz wouldn't try talking to Hunter after she literally saw him die and come back to life before her eyes? Or that Hunter wouldnt be concerned about Luz not coming out of the portal even though TTT established a deep bond between Luz and Hunter?
What was the purpose of going to The Owl House if nothing of value was there? Going to TOH would make sense if the memory tweezers were hidden away somewhere in the house, but theyre not. Everyone is just fucking around in the house and wasting time for no reason. You could have just had the tweezers be at the house and everyone have their important talks before they teleport inside the skull. All that school meandering bullshit could have been completely cut.
Speaking of cutting out stuff why wasn't Odalia cut from this episode? She does nothing and serves no purpose to the story. They make you think she might do something conniving in WAD but she actually does nothing. Just cut her completely. This episode is full of characters who's only purpose is to leech from Luz's LIMITED screentime.
Seriously FTF and WAD read like bad fix-it fanfics. Like someone read some garbage takes from twitter and tumblr and decided to "fix" TOH with the last two episodes.
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bracketsoffear · 5 months
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Clara/The Changeling (Pathologic) "Clara does not exist until the game begins. She takes on the role of a healer in this town with an emerging plague, but the first person she attempts to heal dies. She is told that someone who looks exactly like her is committing crimes in the town, so she has to actively work to maintain her reputation throughout the game, or else citizens will start to attack her in the street.
Though she does have healing abilities, the game purposefully misleads you on how they are used. She doesn't understand it any more than you do. She is also aware that she is a character in a video game, and knows that she cannot exist outside the framework of the game. Because Pathologic is about a town dying to the plague that you are trying your hardest to prevent, and then mitigate, and then destroy at any cost, Clara comes to believe that she is the cause of the plague. After all, she cannot exist in a world without one. She comes into being as the game begins, and will likely stop existing after it is over, as what more is there for her to do? Kill an already dead town? Save an already healed town?
Each character you can play as can choose their own ending, and hers involves asking people to sacrifice themselves to her routinely to keep the town alive. Even when you make the correct choices and try to heal the town, the plague is still a constant threat and will never truly go away, and Clara is indeed responsible for this looming threat, as her healing hands are the ones people are blindly following into a routine of self-sacrifice and reminder of the plague that almost destroyed their town. In a way, it is fully possible to interpret her character as the true source of the plague, and the game allows you to believe this. There isn't really anything to contradict it, after all."
Fur Beetles (The House) "A contractor (who happens to be a rat) throws his whole life and savings and loans into flipping a house hoping to earn himself a good life doing so, only to find out it's infested with a type of bug called a fur beetle, and their hairy, worm-like larva. He tries desperately to get them out and exterminate them so that he can sell this house, to no avail. Eventually, when he tries to show the house, two oddly bug-shaped rats show up and refuse to leave, obsessed with mold and chewing on fabric. And, eventually, they invite their whole giant family over as well. As he's despairing over this situation, fur beetles come out from his walls and ceiling, putting on a whole little song and dance number for him, just to taunt him.
He tries to chase them all out of his house with bug spray, only to make himself ill and sent to the hospital. The strange rats kindly pick him up and bring him home, where they and the rest of their family are throwing him a Welcome Home party, revealing that they're all strange beetle-rat hybrids, and they're not going anywhere. Soon, the house becomes a compete trashed pigsty, the beetle-rats devouring all the furniture, burrowing in the walls, and covering it all in filth. The contractor, still trapped there, loses it and seems to revert into a feral, animalistic rat, eating garbage and scurrying around in the house the beetles infested."
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missmeinyourbones · 2 years
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Headcanons for Porco? 👉👈🤍
annoying. thats it.
LMFAO IM KIDDING but serious
hes not the type to be overprotective or handsy, but he 100% always has his eye on you if that makes sense. like he’d never say no to you leaving his side at a gathering to go chat w some friends, he’s kissing ur temple and telling u to have fun, but he’s absolutely keeping his eye on you as you move around the room from group to group. he knows exactly when to step in or grab you from a situation. ive talked about him being the fun police & this kinda goes hand in hand w that. he likes being responsible for you in a way thats comforting, not overbearing <3
i think of him as being ur personal garbage disposal. let me explain. like whatever food you dont eat, he will 100% shovel it down for you. like if you go out to eat and ur too full to finish ur meal and dont want to package it to take home, he’s like ugh just gimme ur plate and finishes it. or if you get something that you dont like or has something you pick off of it, he’s automatically offering to switch meals with you or biting off the pieces you dont like you so can eat the rest of it unbothered
i picture him being a really big jay z fan ...... LMFAO PLEASE. like he loves the idea of him being like the “god of rap” so i see him knowing all of his songs and shit. he raps them in the car and sings them in the shower. hes like baby im jay z and ur like my beyonce <3 thinking its cute and then ur like didnt he cheat on her ??? and hes like 🤕 ok statement is redacted i meant it in a cool way
GOSSIPER. a little messy bitch. absolutely LOVES talking shit w you. automatically hates people you dont like or have an issue with. even if you dont hate them, he does. you have a tiny argument w ur coworker one time and now every time you mention them casually he’s like oh you mean our nemesis? we hate him >:( or you fight w a close friend ONE time and rant to him about it, and now every time you go to hangout w them hes like hey remember that one time they did you dirty? yea they can die for that
mf is the life of the party wherever he goes. you can always be sure that he will wedge himself into the center of a room. he’ll have people dying laughing at his stupid stories and jokes. he’s dancing like a moron in the middle of the club. he loves being the center of attention, and more often than not, u get roped into it too. like as he’s telling his stories and the crowd is hanging onto his every word, he has u sitting in his lap. he’s dancing like an idiot but he’s doing that cheesy lasso/rope move on you to get you to join him. i hate him fr 
i know it, u know it, everyone knows it. porco is a CAR GUY. his car is his baby (he claims second to you but sometimes ur really not sure LMFAO) he is obsessed w his car. constantly driving you two around in it, taking it to get washed, parking somewhere just to sit and talk in it. hes so picky about stuff in it hes like BABE dont spill that please :/ or can u not bend the aux chord like that :/ its helpful when something happens to ur own car tho bc he puffs out his chest and is like let me handle it 🖐🤨 does all of ur oil changes and fills ur tires. teaches u how to drive stick shift. u tell him u dont know what kind of windshield wipers you have and he loses his mind </3 
NOTE: these are so random and has been in my inbox forACTUALever so thank u for being patient / for this fun request! i hate him
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Hello!! I saw you were doing match ups and that's so cool! I was hoping to participate if that's okay! Could I possibly get both male and female matchup? No poly please !
I'm nonbinary but i am physically fem, 5'5, with a bright red mullet that's like sorta grown out? Soft looking. My fashion sense tends to vary depending on my mood. Goth one day, cottagecore the next type of thing. One thing that's always a constant is my spiky earrings, kinda like the Fangs preset from the game! Necklace and my two bracelets. If I ever take them off I feel disgusting and off
Positive personality traits wise, I'm caring and selfless. I tend to be pretty cheerful and optimistic, goofing off. I think I'm smart? The most basic things tend to confuse me but then I'll bust out some complex knowledge lmao. I'm pretty creative too! I create stuff out of basically trash lol. I made a whole shield and sword sheath from recycled cardboard once.
Negative traits wise, I'm overly selfless, tending to put others before me. I'm very forgetful but thats cause of adhd. I can be messy and far too loud. Oblivious to a lot of things. I'm a big scaredy cat too which makes it hard to enjoy some stuff. I also tend to hide my negative emotions
My love language is definitely quality time and gift giving. Heavy on gift giving.
I have all kinds of hobbies but I'm not particularly good at any of them. Like video games, writing, arts and crafts, painting. And active stuff too like skateboarding. But uh. To be completely honest my main hobby is just sleeping forever lmfao
Likes: savory foods, coffee, aesthetic stuff, all kinds of animals, dressing up, reading, anything adrenaline inducing like rollercoasters, rainstorms
Dislikes: i cant eat any kind of fish/seafood I will gag, spiders, snakes, being vulnerable, people being mean (I seriously don't understand how people can be mean), the dark especially if I'm alone
Thank you so much! I hope that wasn't too much- or that I missed any requirements lol. Have a great week!!
A/N: Okay, for you @lord-westley … I’m thinking for romantic matchups your best bets would be… Gale (Male) and Karlach (Female)! 
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Gale is a great match for you, as he’s quite similar personality wise. He’s kind and selfless; smart but also somehow clueless? He’s got a good spirit, and an old soul. He wants someone he can share his life with, and thinks you’re just the person to do that with. 
He thinks you look fierce, for real, he’s almost intimidated by how good you look, especially your hair. It’s bright and bold and something he’d never have the courage to try. It suits you, and it makes him feel all the more special for being with you. 
His style is fairly consistent, and he’s not the most fashion savvy, but he does appreciate a good look when he sees one. Be prepared for a bunch of horrible puns, and awkward attempts at flirtatious compliments. He wants to tell you how much he loves your look, it’s just that it comes off wrong more often than not. Please don’t be mistaken- he really does think you look great. It’s just that loving words aren't his strong suit. 
He loves how caring and selfless you are. He quite admires your capacity for compassion. He likes to think of himself as selfless, but he’s also aware that’s not the truth. But for you, it is. And he’s so honored someone as pure and kind hearted as you would choose him as your partner. 
He’s also very grateful you’re smart. At least, that you’re smart enough to sort of get some of what he says about magic. He has a tendency to infodump, and he really likes it when you make comments or ask questions that let him know you’re listening. And your creativity, good heavens! He’s so impressed. He thought as a wizard, he’d be able to think outside of the box, but his imagination is no match for yours. Thanks to your builds and use of garbage, he’s starting to rethink the way he goes about spell casting and brewing potions. Your perspectives are actually helping make him a better wizard. 
He does worry that you’re too selfless, though. He’s been used by powerful beings before, and he’d hate to see you get hurt similarly. If he thinks someone is taking advantage of your kindness, he won’t hesitate to bring it up to you. He just wants you to know your time and effort has value, and it should never be taken for granted. 
He’s understanding when it comes to your fear. He thinks it's rather healthy to be afraid, especially of death. It shows you have a lust and respect for life. He’s glad you understand the enormity of what it means to live, because he wants you to protect your life so that the two of you can grow old and gray together. 
He will give you gifts! A lot of them are favors done via spells, but a good amount of them are physical presents. (Many of which may have previously been magic items that have since had their magic drained, but hey! It’s the thought that counts, right?!)
He loves savory foods! He can’t wait to show you his extensive wine cellar and kitchen in his tower in Waterdeep, and feed you his especially _ sauce. It’s full of flavor, it’ll knock your socks right off! 
He may not be a huge fan of adrenaline inducing activities: he much prefers the safe mental exercise of a good book. But he will join you on occasion, so long as you promise him it’s mostly safe. (He may or may not ask Shadowheart to cast Guidance on the two of you before you leave, but then again, he’s just covering his bases!)
Thanks to his arcane knowledge, you’ll never be in the dark. He can conjure light to ensure you’re not afraid. And he vows to always be by your side, so long as you’ll have him, protecting you, just as you protect him. 
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Karlach is also a great match for you! She’s a very upbeat person, and she loves your loud and creative energy, it makes her feel like you can keep up with her and match her own outgoing personality. 
She loves your style, especially the bright red hair. That is her color after all. And she’s obsessed with all the new looks you combine and create. Everyday she’s basically shouting at the other members of your party, ‘Come look at how hot/cute my partner looks!’. It’s a bit over the top and embarrassing at first, but she means it in the best, most sincere way. If you ask her to stop, she’ll stop. But otherwise, be prepared for compliments, like ALL of the time. 
She loves goofing off with you, pulling pranks and just having a little fun in between missions. She’s a firm believer in taking breaks- it keeps you sane. She’s fairly intelligent too, I mean, she’s not a scholar or anything, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders and so do you. 
She thinks it’s incredible how you can make something totally new out of garbage, or old unwanted scraps. It’s both your resourcefulness and creativity she finds impressive. 
She has no problems with your being messy or loud, even if other people might. If they have an issue with it, she’ll join in, and make it a point to be messier and louder than you. And if anyone still has a problem, she’ll take care of it for you. She’s a big strong woman, and she understands how scary confirmation can be. She does her best to make the world around you a little less frightening. 
Kalrach strikes me as someone who would enjoy doing almost any hobby outside of being forced to fight. I mean, she also really loves a good battle, but she’s down for basically whatever. She’s so ready to try everything- to make up for all the time she missed down in Avernus. She’ll do anything or go anywhere with you. She’s especially excited for any adrenaline inducing activities. As a Barbarian, she is 100% there. No questions asked. Also the idea of skateboarding blows her mind. (Pretty sure that doesn’t exactly translate to DND, but if there was anyway in Faerun willing to ride a board with little wheels up and down steep hills or ramps, she’d be your girl.) 
Even though she’s adventurous, she’s also cool with just chilling- taking some time to enjoy your company. She thinks you’re adorable when you sleep, and can’t help but want to take naps with you, so long as her engine is fixed enough, and you don’t mind being warm. 
She’s fine with you not eating seafood, it’s not that big of a deal to her. You like what you like, right? And she gets that spiders can be pretty creepy- especially the ones in the Underdark. She promises to never make you visit there, and should any of those creatures try and get you topside, don’t worry, she won't let them lay a hand on you. 
Despite being a fierce fighter, she’s got a heart of gold. She hates bullies, and people who abuse others. She knows what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that, and it feels awful. She’d never want you to feel that way. So gods help anyone in Baldur’s Gate who tries and bullies you for whatever reason. They’ve just got themselves a _ tiefling to answer to. 
Karalch thinks you’re wonderful, and so sweet. You’re precious to her and she promises to protect you. You make her so happy. She’s so glad she’s met you. 
...
I hope you like it!
...
Please Like & Reblog!!!
&
Happy Halloween!!!
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pixeryx · 1 year
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There’ll always be someone else | Sukuna x Female Reader
What with life and a general lack of energy, I haven’t written anything in a very long time. Gonna get back into the swing of things with a short, self-indulgent fic. Consider it long overdue practice from a very rusty writer, I guess! And we’re ambitious, so we’re starting with my first-ever attempt at writing Sukuna.
Summary: Sukuna tells himself that none of it ever mattered. One-shot, sad, angst.
“Got some fancy wine for you today.”
Sukuna settled himself on the grass, four eyes scanning the label of the bottle as he scoffed at the imported garbage. “Sounds like just the type of thing you’d like. This had better be an improvement over the trash you made me drink yesterday.”
He poured the wine out into two cups, then went about laying out the rest of the things he’d brought her. Delicate dishes of tofu, braised beef over rice, cuts of the freshest tropical fruits, perfectly ripe, chosen to sate her sweet tooth, all presented in lacquer trays. Then, he pushed her chopsticks straight up into the rice.
It was all a bit bland for his taste, but it was her lunch after all, and eating this swill was all for the pleasure of her company. Ever since she’d frowned upon him eating his enemies at their table, he’d all but stopped. All this human food was boring, though Uraume was good enough of a cook that it didn’t taste like complete and utter shit. Some of the human flesh he’d had certainly tasted worse.
Sukuna sipped on his wine and made a face. The sweet, tart liquid came nowhere near the fine Japanese sakes he’d had the pleasure of drinking, back when people still revered him as a king of curses, before they learned to loathe him as the greatest calamity to walk this Earth. Terrible as the wine was, it did what any alcohol did: submerge him in a pleasant haze, allowing him to drift along distant rivers of memory that lay out of reach when he was fully conscious and in control.
He allowed himself to remember, for the first time in years. Because not once had she deigned to visit him in his dreams.
۞۞۞
Sukuna remembered the sound of quick, shallow breathing.
He’d hesitated, just for a fraction of a second. His favour for a woman had given his enemies the audacity to think they could threaten him. She, just another human woman, weak and forgettable, was being used against him. How could he, the mightiest King of Curses, ever tolerate this slight against him?
There’ll always be someone else. Countless women had warmed his bed, and he didn’t remember a single one of their faces, much less their names. So what did it matter if his enemies disposed of this one for him? Why was he allowing his enemies to perceive any sort of weakness?
Never mind that she’d shared his life these past years. Even curses were allowed to develop habits, and that’s all she’d been: a bad habit, a deadly sin. He’d simply find another to do it. He should laugh at the stupidity of his enemies and turn his back on her. That would teach them never to even think of threatening him.
And yet...
Sukuna felt his muscles tense, felt himself prepare to launch at Kenzo, the upstart sorcerer who’d dared to hold her hostage.
But in that moment’s pause, Kenzo had flung her to the ground and brought his boot down on her neck. Unlike Sukuna, he didn’t hesitate. There was a loud snap, and then her eyes slid half-closed. Delicate fingers, with their red-painted nails, loosened from their tight fist. The insolent swine of a subpar sorcerer had been about to further trample her body when Sukuna made his move. Somehow, the prospect of an imbecile desecrating her corpse made him lose any semblance of rational thought. Those fucking jujutsu sorcerers.
Truth be told, Sukuna couldn’t remember the details of what happened next. All he knew was that Uraume had been responsible for cleaning out the aftermath. He did, however, make sure to eat Kenzo, limb by limb, starting with all the body parts a person could miss before they could escape into the merciful clutches of death, drawing out the final moments of his wretched life.
Just because he could.
The only reason Sukuna still remembered the name of that insignificant maggot was that he’d made sure to curse his entire family line. Not a single worm from that particular clan would ever contain an ounce of cursed energy again.
Not that it mattered. Because he’d already devoured every last living member who had the misfortune of bearing that name. 
In his fury, he’d left her body there too. An inexplicable anger took root deep within him, not just at his enemies for having the audacity to break his property, but at her—he hadn’t given her permission to die. The cheek of this woman to go and die on him was truly the height of disobedience. Perhaps it was just as well that Kenzo had murdered her. He would’ve done it someday, when he’d grown bored of her companionship.
He’d lived a long time. Long enough that the years blended together and the concept of time itself bore little significance. And for as long as he’d lived, and the number of people he’d killed or watched die, not a single one had come back to this Earth. Even the odd doppelgänger carried not a trace of the spirits of his enemies or vassals. And so, this woman who’d shared his bed and his life was now eternally lost to him too. Desperate fools could pray for entire cycles of reincarnation, but nothing would change the fact that she was gone.
Something about her had made him swing wildly between wanting to tear her apart and wanting to hold her carefully in the palm of his hand. The crimson bites that dotted her neck more often than not—and the black swirls of his markings on other more private areas of her body—were testament to his indecision. He reached absently at his own neck, remembering the bites she’d left on him too. No matter what happened, she would never have such a hold over his emotions again—never leave another bittersweet mark, whether on his body or his psyche.
That was a good thing, surely. There’d always be someone else, another woman on his arm or in his bed, he was sure. If he wanted a woman now, she was his. Then, none of this would matter ever again.
The effects of the alcohol seemed to desert him. He was in the here and now; she was somewhere far away. Sukuna’s eyes focussed, on the blue skies above the cemetery, on the green grass that grew all around, and on the relic of her in front of him.
He brushed away a smudge on the glass with a broad sweep of his thumb, lingering over her black-and-white cheek, which lifted with her cryptic smile. The marble of her gravestone felt so much cooler than her skin. He traced over her lips, half expecting to feel their warm, soft shape. The summer breeze was her phantom fingers ghosting across his nape, light and teasing, the way she used to touch him. For just a minute, he laid his forehead against the stone, his lips moving silently as if in imitation of prayer. No god or mortal would ever hear his words, intended only for her. His regret was a secret she’d keep for him, he knew that.
Sukuna sat back. “I’ll bring you some strawberries tomorrow.”
In his mind’s eye, where she lived eternally, the prospect of having her favourite fruit won him one of her teasing smiles. Perhaps it was because she was already fading from memory, but those smiles had seemed so rare lately.
“Don’t get used to it. It’ll be lemons the day after.” Just the thing to keep her on her toes, considering he’d already brought her cherries the day before. You couldn’t spoil a woman all the time, he thought to himself. Then they got full of themselves and started defying you. Dying in front of you.
The look he imagined on her face was appropriately sour, though the effect was spoiled by her pout.
“You’re such a brat,” he sneered. But the words didn’t hold even the slightest hint of rebuke.
“I’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.” He stood to leave, emptying the last of the wine onto the grass above her resting place. Then his senses prickled, detecting traces of cursed energy in a sudden peak. Sukuna turned, catching sight of what must be an entire village of jujutsu sorcerers marching up the cemetery’s steps. The leader of the entire foolish pack came to a halt, a cocky smile gracing inelegant features.
“You’ve become predictable, Sukuna. My spies say you’ve been here every single day the past three years. Fancy that. We didn’t even have to set a trap.” The sorcerer’s tone positively dripped with mockery, overconfident in the meagre puddle of cursed energy that he possessed.
Sukuna grinned, not taking in one word of the man’s foolish rambling. No matter the time period, jujutsu sorcerers were the same—their spilled blood would be an offering for his departed wife.
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gay-artificer · 10 months
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Sorry if this is too out of nowhere but ive been thinking about how most of the normal slugcats arent really carnivorous outside of eating eggs and certain insects, exept for like gourmand (minimally) or saint (cannot digest any meat wether by design or evolution) and of course artificer and hunter. This makes me kinda theorize that yknow, slugcats arent normally carnivorous, and only gain the ability to eat meat through artificial means (exept for gourman they just do that i guess).
It also makes me theorize that maybe the reason why the two are able to do that is that they have some really corrosive acids/substances in their stomachs, for Arti those being in the form of garbage wastes microorganisms that make them explosive in general.
As for Hunter, well, maybe the reason they turn into the rot is because of the fact that they have the rot in their stomach if that makes sence? Like maybe they were made to have/grow some early stage rot growths in their intestines to be able to digest things they normally couldn't, or parts of their insides were given some rot genome, but wether intentionally or not, that system becomes unstable fast since it can become cancerous with the rot overtaking the body after some time.
My guess is that they're highly adaptable omnivores and lean towards various levels of severity based on environmental factors- It should be noted that insects and eggs are carnivorous food sources as much as meat is, its just a more accessible source. (And if you've ever seen the teeth on insectivores you would not doubt them. Look at the chompers on a shrew. A crickets worse nightmare) In fact if you look at the bulk of the basic slugcats diet pre-downpour its actually mostly small invertebrates- blue fruit is actually insect pupae, making the only vegetative parts of their diet bubble fruit, popcorn plants, slime molds. (Downpour added dandelion peaches, lilypucks, gooieduck (another mold), and glow weed. Its worth noting that many of these are added not just for world variety but to add items into the environment as tools- such as gooieducks not just being a substantial food source but providing a counter to wormgrass) (In this sense even saint can stomach some meat, as they can eat the blue fruit pupae and bug eggs) So thus the question is why pushes a slugcat to seek meat. It could be simply that its high energy payoff- most of the meat-eating slugcats get less energy (food pips) from eating small prey sources like batflies or blue fruit, so they turn to hunting larger prey. You have the higher energy cost of being an active hunter offset by payoff of actually being successful. It could also be that some slugcats simply lack the physiology (strong enough teeth, jaw strength) to tear into corpses and can only effective use small prey, even if they could eat meat successfully as scavengers. Tough hides can actually be a huge problem for scavenging animals if something else hasn't exposed the softer parts of the body, and this is why the first things lost on a corpse tends to be accessible and easy to take things like eyes, things like ravens need something with actual teeth to break the skin.
Buuuuut personally I think its a developmental shift- We see something like it in amphibian species. Its actually really neat stuff- basically, for a lot larval amphibians like tadpoles or salamanders they're naturally herbivorous and feed mostly on algae. However these young are generally limited in how much they can disperse until adults, which means competition for food can be very intense. As a result, in this developmental stage some will turn to predation- or to cannibalism. They grow larger then their vegetarian siblings, and in some species will grow larger jaws or new sets of teeth. They actually see this even behavior in species that are strict carnivores- some of the young are carnivorous but hunt unrelated prey, others specifically engage in cannibalism. Depending on what type of prey they target, the actually animal develops differently. Since we have the slugpups as a basis- who follow a diet pattern in line with Survivor and Monk, that can be assumed to be the 'basic' diet. But some individuals (likely ones in high stress, or low food environments) develop more intense predatory behaviors and physiology in adolescence. Genes can be environmentally flexible (polyphenism and epigenetics) and 'turn on and off' under certain cues, so for iterators it would probably be fairly easy to 'force' a specific type of slugcat.
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I’m having serious writer’s block rn so here’s some Harringroveson/Steddilly hcs I guess:
Steve is the only one who cooks because he was taught by his mother/aunt(s)/grandma and learned old family recipes, the whole nine yards. He has a very specific way of preparing food and won’t let it be cooked any other way than the way he was taught, dammit.
Eddie’s always very clingy no matter the time of day, and both of his boyfriends appreciate and adore him endlessly for it. Billy loves hugs and Steve always gets giggly whenever his face/pretty much anywhere else is peppered in kisses.
The three of them enjoy a good horror movie, though they all prefer different sub genres and fight about it constantly. Eddie is more of a sci/fi guy, Steve prefers his slasher fics, and Billy likes psychological horror. Each of them is more scared of one of the other two options that isn’t their own preference.
Steve has no choice but to get into metal with how much his partners both listen to it. He feels left out when he doesn’t understand their references or inside jokes, so he starts picking up magazines from the checkout at Melvald’s to read up on the latest celebrity news and keeps an eye out for mentions of bands/artists that he wants to learn more about.
Billy runs so hot that he never sleeps with the covers on and sometimes even has to get up and go sleep in the living room because he can’t breathe with all of the body heat that’s clinging to him at either side.
The only neat freak among them is Steve, who has to keep everything in its designated place or else. Billy always has a healthy clutter in his various spaces, nothing too messy, while Eddie is the resident trash monster who dwells in mountains of garbage 24/7. Steve cleans up after them both and always gives them shit for being messy.
When they play fight, which is often, Billy and Steve always get the upper hand on Eddie. Steve will always beat Billy in the end because he has this way of catching him off-guard like Nala and Simba when they wrestle. Mostly because Billy underestimated him every time.
They’re all undiagnosed neurodivergent in some fashion: Steve has autism, Eddie has ADHD, and Billy has BPD. Working with/around each other’s quirks can be difficult but they do their best to communicate and figure it all out.
When it comes to trouble, Steve is the mom of the three of them because he’s very assertive and protective, and is definitely the type of person to say I’m not mad, just disappointed or try to handle the situation by himself. Billy’s like a dad in that he will fight so fiercely for the people he loves, and no one is safe from his wrath if anyone so much as inconveniences one of his partners. Eddie doesn’t have a parental-esque way of caring for others, but he is however the most like a deranged older sibling out of the three. He won’t fight people or lecture them, but he will roast them beyond recovery and make it so they’re too embarrassed to leave their house for a week minimum.
Both Billy and Eddie are so accustomed to having shitty diets that when they move in with Steve (yes, he’s the one who gets an apartment, and the other two kind of just come over one day and never leave), and they start eating real meals more often, they both get a little chubby. Billy bulks up like no one’s business, looks like a damn linebacker with his broad shoulders, thick biceps, and soft tummy that’s littered with stretch marks. Eddie doesn’t really work out much, so he’s mostly gentle curves in contrast to Billy’s muscle. Steve also has a little bit of a pouch on his lower abdomen, but he also has a higher metabolism than the other two.
Despite the two metalheads being the most involved with music in general, Steve is the least tone-deaf (I know that Eddie is in a band and is likely the lead singer as well as lead guitarist, but I feel like he has to work harder at hitting the notes than Steve does).
Billy and Eddie are affectionate in public, though they mostly stick to hugs and simple touches in passing. Neither of them invade Steve’s personal space too much as per his request because he has anxiety around being “found out” and gets overstimulated easily by public displays of physical affection and just physical affection in general in most cases.
They eventually start wearing specific rings to signify their relationship: Billy wears his on his left ring finger proudly, knowing that no one on god’s green earth is brave enough to ask him who the lucky lady is. Steve puts his on a chain and wears it under all of his shirts. Eddie’s is a pinky ring which he fondly refers to as his pimp ring, and constantly makes jokes about how his partners are his bitches. The rings are all stainless steel wedding bands, the real deal, and have “H-H-M” engraved on the side (Steve’s idea, of course, because he’s a sap).
Pls feel free to add on if you have any personal hcs that you wanna share, I love reading them :)
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bcnedaddy · 5 months
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Jack Skellington // Thirty-One // Cursed Human // Novelist
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Having no recollection of a life before Evermore has made Jack wonder, many many times, how the curious little town of magic works. Why does he not remember? Who knows the truth? Why do others that aren’t him remember their lives? And, why are they stuck? No matter how many times Jack has studied, tested hypotheses, etc… he cannot for the life of him stick his finger on the answer. It drives him a bit mad sometimes, locked away in his bedroom with a drawing board with strings going every which way, but he hasn’t let it take control of him. Not yet. 
He is the most particular type of man. About what he eats or wears. He prefers sweet to savory and classy to casual. He’s the most organized unorganized person you will ever meet. Where’s his favorite fountain pen? Lodged between his thesaurus and overread favorite novel on the shelf of his nightstand. His clothes are organized, but not by color because it’s mostly neutrals or shades of black. He keeps all of his writing utensils in one spot, but doesn’t separate black from red ink pens. His garbage and recycles are separate, but he couldn’t remember garbage pick up day if his life depended on it. So, he tries but he’s always been a bit chaotic on the inside. 
Autumn has always been his favorite time of year and for some reason Halloween is a huge deal to him. (Of course he loves Christmas time as well, but Halloween will always have that special place inside of his heart.) He goes all out for the holiday. He spends months planning his costumes and the last weekend of September decorating. He knows Zane and Sal don’t mind and they always join in on the fun. 
Horror is his favorite genre and he indulges in all things spooky and scary. Games, movies, shows, books, etc… His favorite of each has a horror element to them all. He also enjoys scaring people and is damn good at it. He’s got a real knack for startling people out of nowhere and going a bit far sometimes with his frightening tactics. He wouldn’t necessarily call himself a prankster because most of his antics are harmless, but there are times he goes that extra mile.
He’s not a bad person. That doesn’t mean he’s wholly good either though. He’s made mistakes, just like everyone else, and sometimes they weren’t the greatest. Not necessarily the ‘live and learn’ type but the ‘dwell on and regret.’ He drifts somewhere between good and morally gray, sometimes leaning more one way or the other. It depends on te day.
His relationship with his roommates/best friends are the best it could ever be. He adores both Saaliha and Zane with all his heart and would do quite literally anything for them. He’s very loyal to those he cares about. 
He’s the type to find an interest, hyperfixate on it for a month, then forget about it and move on to another. It’s a vicious cycle until he’s come full circle and is back to square one with the first interest that he found. His curious nature is always making him explore new avenues.
Jack is very obsessive. When he loves something he goes all out. He has a huge bookshelf with half of them organized by the author, but is far too antsy and unorganized to finish the project. Even the novel he’s been trying to write for ages. He can’t find that perfect puzzle piece to get it just right. He wants to write a successful book with suspense and thrills, but he always goes back to his dreams about the strange town beyond the forest with scary monsters and mischievous little devil children and writes about that instead. Some days he wonders if he should just give up on his dream and write some elaborate fantasy story about that town, but he doesn’t want to be a sellout either. If there were just some way to perfectly combine the two then Jack would be able to pull it off. 
A very charismatic man that has not dated in far too long. He’s very charming and polite, but when it comes to hookup culture he’s cautious. He indulges sometimes, but it’s not a regular habit. It’s rare he brings someone back to his apartment, out of respect for Saaliha and Zane. In all honesty despite his charms and such he isn’t really looking for a relationship. He’s far too focused and caught up in his own troubles like writing his novel while trying to make a living ghostwriting, or figuring out his own dreams. 
He carries a messenger bag everywhere he goes with his laptop, notebook, and various other small things he might need but has never really used. Sometimes he forgets his wallet though. 
Jack is sometimes quick to anger but the last to ever raise his voice. He’s an enthusiastic person so sometimes he does yell, but for a good cause! He doesn’t ever scream at people, and on the rare occasion he does it’s for a damn good reason. 
Aquarius sun, Sagittarius moon, Libra rising
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toournextadventure · 1 year
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JUST SO I DONT ANNOY YOUR NOTIFICATIONS IM JUST GONNA DUMP THESE ALL HERE
Birb : Why would you think any of this was a good idea?
Wednesday: Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.
Birb :
Wednesday: I don't know how you keep forgetting this.
Birb : That's greatly offensive to my people.
Wednesday : College dropouts?
Birb, at Wednesday’s funeral: I need a moment with them.
Everyone else at the funeral: Of course. *leaves*
Birb, leaning over Wednesday’s coffin: Okay, listen here you little shit. I know you’re not dead.
Wednesday, sitting up in the coffin: Yeah, no shit.
Birb: WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?! HE COULD HAVE HAD HOPES AND DREAMS, HE COULD HAVE HAD A FAMILY!!!
Wednesday: Birb-
Wednesday: It- it was just an ant-
Birb : Ayo, what the FUCK is this?!?
Wednesday , sitting down, surrounded by corpses: I won Mafia, that’s what.
Wednesday : How would you like your coffee?
Birb : As dark and as bitter as my soul.
Wednesday , looking at someone behind the counter: I need one vanilla latte with extra cream and sugar.
Wednesday: What’s your type!?
Birb, bleeding out: Black hair, 5’1, goth, a talking hand for a companion-
Wednesday:
Wednesday: your blood type.
Birb: Bro, I don’t know.
Birb: Wednesday is playing hard to get.
Birb: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.
Birb: Hey, Wednesday. What kind of flowers do you prefer?
Wednesday: I like dahlias.
Birb, pulling out a bouquet of knives: Well, shit-
Birb: Wait, what's going on? Are we all talking about how hot Wednesday is? Because Wednesday is a straight up sexual fox riding a red-hot nuclear bombshell right toward the yowza plaza in the heart of Babe City, Assachusetts, U S A. The last A just stands for more ass.
Birb: Wednesday is a little bitch.
Enid : Why?
Birb: Number one, she’s little. Number two, she’s a bitch.
Enid: You use emoji’s like a straight person.
Birb: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.
Enid : I feel like doing something stupid.
Birb : I’m stupid, do me.
Wednesday, from the other room: I THINK THE FUCK NOT.
Birb: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out!
Wednesday: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way?
Birb: surprise me
Birb: Even Wednesday and I have been getting closer. The other day, she gave me half of her sandwich.
Wednesday: I mistook them for a garbage can.
Wednesday: Birb, you're an asshole
Birb: You are what you eat Wednesday.
Wednesday:
Birb:
Wednesday:
Birb: OH WAIT.
Wednesday: There’s no “I” in team, but there is one in pizza.
Birb: So, you’re not going to share?
Wednesday: I’m not going to share.
Wednesday : Birb , no.
Birb : Birb , yes.
Wednesday: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss
Birb:
Birb: Wednesday, you just go arrested for battery
🫐
No wait all of these are perfect I'm OBSESSED with these you came up with some GEMS
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jessilynallendilla · 19 days
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Dylan Hollis Baking Quotes Without Context Part 6
“We’re using it in linguini form, which I’ve never seen-eugh" 
“Dates are inevitable” 
“I don’t know where this is going, I don’t think I want to” 
“You mix this up to make it all green and disgusting. Charming” 
“This is just not right” 
“Now we’re going to plate this monstrosity” 
~”Peaches and linguini. Hearts of palm. Dates too~” 
“Now on goes our frozen swamp cream” 
“These are fresh eggs. From the business end of the chicken” 
“Ooh it’s wet!” 
“This is roughly four cups of crumbs and tears from artisan bread makers” 
“Now into a separate bowl goes two chicken eggs. Well, thank heavens you specified, I was at risk of using my locally sourced ostrich eggs” 
“We start with two large packs of lemon Jello because one would be too easy and three’s a felony” 
“Once you get to this color you are severely dehydrated” 
“Lemon lime fever dream” 
“Pour this into something, preferably the garbage” 
“This person has been to a dark place.” “Ugh it lingers.” “Seen bad things.” 
“You hear that, Henry?” tosses skeleton. “Long live Christmas!” 
“Make sure to take off the diapers, not very nutritious.” 
“Optional cup of chocy chips. Optional my ass!” 
“If you leave it in too long you risk pregnancy” 
“I call that a cup. No need to be precise, your in-laws will still find a way to insult you.” 
“We don’t cook with pot hash anymore for the same reasons we don't attempt to cure indigestion with lobotomies” 
Sheri is the popery of liquor. It was once very fashionable back when people bathed once a week and wondered why there were rats in their wigs.” 
“Smells really festive, like Febreze in a crypt” 
“Just a tablespoon of rum.” pours whole bottle, proceeds to drunkenly stumble into oven. 
“This looks like I microwaved a squirrel.” 
“Are you supposed to eat this for Christmas or for punishment?” 
“I’m sure people loved it back then when they ate lead paint and wood chips.” 
“You don’t have to use the whole box, you can beat a few and suck on the rest.” 
“Sorry I’m late I took the wrong exit at Cape Canaveral and ended up getting probed for free.” 
“Oh boy it’s butter on butter, nobody tell Paula Dean, she’ll bust in like the Kool-Aid Man” 
“Apparently these are named after the seed of the Buckeye tree which kills humans and cattle. Ohio you do you.” 
“Oh, the fifties, where when breakfast was a verb, baseball was relevant, and I would have had to have a wife” 
“Pinch of salt-”spills it-”Screams” 
“This looks like 10W40” 
“You can still buy powdered creamer if you like the taste of wood glue” 
“Finally alternate adding the dry and the motor oil” 
“For years I have searched for a gelatin mold that is edible and for years I have done so in vain” 
“C’mon Pepto!” 
“This book contains five secret cornbread recipes believed to be the lost sacred texts of Nebraska. Bake them all, die!” 
“Two boxes of cornbread mix. By the power of the Midwest!” 
“Sprinkle with water to avoid dry spots. What type of Nebraska voodoo is this?” 
“It reeks!” 
Stressed laughter “My house smalls like Hidden Valley.” 
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seeminglyseph · 25 days
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My mom was talking about my sister feeling self conscious about her body, and like. I think part of it is she has for some reason a lot of oddly petite friends. Like. For some reason they’re all really short and she’s been friends with them since they were kids and some of them have that like. Unusually skinny body type that like… look some people don’t gain body fat I’m not shaming but those of us who do gain body fat do get shamed all the time constantly so like. Extremely skinny people for some reason get set at the status quo when they like. Really really aren’t. And that’s mostly the weird part honestly. And the fact that like y’all bodies work so fundamentally different than mine that it’s like. A little mystifying sometimes.
My mother is one of these people honestly and it I think causes serious conflict. Because like. She is literally 110lbs. Like. The last time I was 110lbs I was like. A teenager with an eating disorder. Like. It was a fucking bad situation. My mom is in her 60s. I’ve weighed more than her since I was a teenager. And I am a few inches shorter than her. My sister’s like half a foot taller than me, and like. I guess thick fit? Though more on the fit than the thick? And generally just kinda average slightly curvy human woman? But also I always considered her like. The hot one? Not in the weird way but like. How in Daria there’s the weird introvert sibling and cool hot sibling. There’s always the nerd sibling and the hot sibling in sitcoms and I was a latchkey kid raised on TV. I think my sister is objectively an attractive woman who men should be proud to date?
But I also think while I have a shitton of body image issues that I definitely got from my mom being. Fucking weird about my body. I wonder if my mom being absurdly tiny and like. Worrying about it so much, and doing things like “wear the spanx it will make you look less fat” and whatever. Like. I don’t know how much of that stuff she did specifically to my sister because my sister was never as much of a “problem” as I was. It always seemed to me like she was the one doing everything right. But even if she wasn’t the one getting criticized, watching me get dragged over the coals could’ve just given her a complex about like. “I never want to be in that position”
It’s hard being a dumb broken shithead trying to be empathetic because it’s like. “I want to be open and understanding with my family” and then I do that and then like. In two months I’ll be vulnerable and it’ll blow up in my face because like half my family is absolutely garbage at emotions.
Also I may have accidentally implied to my mother that I think my sister is a dom and should try to find a nice sub to settle down with, instead of these alpha males she keeps trying to date. Because I think kink dynamics are generic and normal enough to just be sub categories I can expect to be relatable in conversations about normal basic heterosexual…. Stuff. I don’t know anything about this. She might just be an emotionally unavailable bitch. I might just have Eldest Daughter Trauma.
I don’t know. It’s already weird trying to be like “no my sister’s an attractive person objectively. I’m not attracted to her because ew, but also not my type but also ew, but she is an objectively attractive person.”
You grow up with a negative sibling relationship, complimenting them is unfamiliar territory. And then the whole “the internet loves to take anything you say in the worst way possible” paranoia my brain is like. “Literally the very concept of there being an incest angle is revolting. I think I would rather bite off my fingers and die.” I’m literally pulling a “no homo” but because of how weird I’ve seen some stupid internet discourse go off about dumb shit and I like. Hate the idea of having someone take this in that direction considering how distant my sister and I are and how hard it is to deal with actual sibling relationships without random people taking things the wrong way maliciously.
I took a sleeping pill and it’s the wrong side of 4am and my sinus headache is fucking demolishing me. I really wanna work things out with my sister one day, but there’s a lot of trauma and resentment built up. And it’s hard to know how much I can open up or trust her a lot of the time. Family is complicated.
And I am constantly plagued by the fear of running out of time. Dunno what to do with that.
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