#the tissue paper was hilarious

[omegalomania]

um hi. love your art so much but what is lethal company? I've never heard of it before you started talking about it 😅

lethal company is a co-op horror game where you play as an anonymous scavenger in a jumpsuit visiting different planets and collecting scrap for the eponymous "company." the base game allows a max of four players (though a thriving modding community has expanded lobbies significantly) and the proximity voice chat along with an awful lot of things that want to kill you makes it both intensely terrifying and deeply comedic, which is all part of its appeal. i got it into it hardcore after watching this legendary stream (this is literally the thing that sold me on the game lol) and i have an irrepressible urge to mash all my interests together like im mickeys dick smasher so it didnt take long for me to go "what if fall out boy in lethal company" because thats how my brain works

#askin hours #anon #basically its a game where you will die in hilarious ways and thats part of the appeal #youre made of tissue paper and everything in this universe really really really likes the taste of tissue paper #you have no idea how much ive thought abt fall out boy playing htis game. i think they should.

[random-iz-stuff]

Wait...so remember that episode where Dib is talking to the Tallest on Zim's monitor--do the Tallest understand what he's saying and vise versa? OR did Zim give the Tallest a stack of info on Earth's culture and languages ahead of time and they now of a inkling of a understanding of Earth speak? I know they never had a proper conversation, but that post about irken languages got me thinking about it 🤔

I think it’s funnier if the answer is no. Because despite Dib talking to the Tallest non stop, the Tallest never reply. They just stare at Dib and talk to each other about the size of Dib’s head. So the Tallest are watching this small creature with a massive head excitingly make a bunch of noises at them that they don’t understand in the slightest.

Meanwhile Dib is calling the Tallest alien scum and asking for their planet’s coordinates.

#invader zim #asks #headcanons #dib membrane #I’ve always found that scene hilarious #because one of the first things Dib does when meeting the Tallest is #1. call literal royalty that controls an empire more powerful than anything Dib will ever know alien scum #and 2. demand to know the location of their home planet #like……my guy…. #what are you expecting here? #first of all why do you think they’ll tell you especially immediately after you insulted them #and second of all what would you even do with that information? #go to Irk and single handily defeat the empire? #my friend you barely have a functional spaceship and you want to go against the full force of an armada capable of wiping out planets #you already know about the Massive #that on its own should convince you that you can’t just fight the empire one on one #(to Dib’s credit here though I headcanon that the simulation that Zim put Dib in in DWLOD had a lot of differences #meant to keep Dib from learning about irkens and space in general #so in the simulation the massive was a fraction of its real size lacked most of its weaponry and was basically made of tissue paper) #but you still know that the Massive exists and that thing alone could stop you

[likopinina]

Hi and Welcome to my Plant Photoscan Attempt number, uhh *checks notes* mmm, you know what, nevermind! what really counts here is that pictures from @bruncikara and @immaturegirlart were painted by them digitally, then were printed and hung by me and then they got accidentally scanned digitally. They have come full circle. Cool, huh? No?

#the question is how many more attempts it will take to make me realise #that photoscanning plant matter just simply is not viable #the worst thing is that it feels like there are improvements #which unfortunately gives me stupid hope #meshroom #on a somewhat related note i find it hilarious that meshroom sees a perfectly flat surface and goes: #this is a crinkled paper tissue

[normaltothemax]

Lol I love No Name brand

#✦ ooc #why do they have gift bags and tissue paper now #that’s fucking hilarious and yes I did but it to wrap my sister’s gift

[just-some-user-hunny]

Even more pinocchio headcanons...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~

~ his legion arm is sturdy and strong, the way it never buckles beneath any weight, nor the resilience of flying speaks flying off its steel surface whenever he grinds the sharp blade of his weapon against it. He can punch through gates and tear off doors from their hinges like they were mere tissue paper.

But pino is a balance of strength and softness. With each little mechanical click of his knuckles and fingers, they drag softly down the silky expanse of your arm, down the surface of your wrist, and oh so gently into your hand for a an embrace of flesh and metal.

The intricate grooves of his palm are alike to your own rugged delicate markings, the contrast stark but filled with such a strong sense of belonging.

It's the way he reaches to touch your cheek that serves as a reminder of his uniqueness from other puppets. His fingertips are cold, almost ice cold against the warm flesh of your face, but the chill is a comforting presense. That within this bloodthirsty world, you have a protector. One that would do anything to keep you safe.

~ it is not uncommon to wake up with your hand cradled in pino's as he's sat on the floor by your bed. Pino misses you when you're sleeping, so when he wants to spend time with you this is the next best thing, just being in your presence is enough for him. The lack of the sound of your voice is made up by your soft breaths and relaxed expression.

~ continueing the whole clingy Pino thing, he would most definitely join you when you're taking a bath because he wants to be with you as much as possible whenever he isn't fighting. Of course, he's very respectful and turns away from you when you're sat unclothed in the tub of bubbles, and he merely sits on the floor besides you holding your warm soapy hand. His back with be pressed against the porcelain, fiddling with your fingers as he listens to you talk about anything. It's all very chill and relaxing.

Also he makes the funniest face when you dab a scoop of foamy bubbles on his forehead or nose. His face screws up rather confused, but chuckles softly anyway when he hears your playful giggles.

(Thanks anon for suggesting this idea!)

~ just Pino and you dancing slowly to an old record he found in one of the hotel rooms.

He had seen posters and illustrations of dancing people in the city of Krat plastered on walls and shop windows, and grew very curious of it.

You'd have to guide him a little, teaching him to bow and ask for a dance. Just sweet relaxed banter between you two as you attempt to lead him into a dance, guiding him to hold your waist and hand. He's a little clumsy at first, almost tripping you with a misstepped footing, but like everything he does he learns quickly. Soon enough he'll have you clasped to his front and spinning around the room, your giggles and his silent chuckles filling the silence.

Eventually your energy wears off, and you both slow dance to the soft crackling tune. Your head on his chest, and his hands on your waist, the two of you swaying side to side gently. He could spend hours doing this with you.

~ he's very polite, and will do things like open doors for you. However this can go from sweet to hilarious. One time you were struggling to open your drawer cabinet, and he pretty much tore it off its hinges. The both of you stood in absolute silence as you stared at the broken door clasped in his grip. The poor man gazed at you a little worried before you laughed softly at his antics, easing his nerves.

~ due to him not speaking all that much, and most of the time not at all, I can imagine it being useful to teach him a few simple sign language phrases. He'd listen and mimic your moves very carefully, copying your movements.

"this is how you would say thank you" you'd say softly, your fingertips brushing over your lips before extending your palm to him. His gaze focuses on your lips a little too much before he snaps out of it and copies 😅.

Now whenever you hand him something or speak comforting words, you'll be met with him bowing his head a little to gesture his thanks to you. He looks so proud every time he does it as well.

~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~~⚜️~

#lies of p x reader #lies of p #lies of p pinocchio

[wonjnz]

love, like it always has been

₊˚⊹ summary: gyuvin sets out to defeat some old white man's quora answer about love.

₊˚⊹ genre: fluff, best friend!gyuvin, high school!au | wc: 1k

₊˚⊹ warning(s): some swearing | inspo: —

₊˚⊹ a/n: very random slice of life moments with bsf!gyuvin so the timeline is kinda.. 😭😭 got the idea when i got sm quora emails today

whenever gyuvin wonders what love is, he thinks the amount of "expert" answers in a random quora thread about it doesn't seem to click with him.

he didn't feel some sort of fireworks when he saw you, so some doctor specializing in 'love' is automatically eliminated. and his world certainly didn't slow down when you walk in, so now a random old, white man talking about his wife of 25 years is also eliminated (though gyuvin admits it's cute).

gyuvin sighs and puts his phone down, placing his hands on both cheeks; god, this is so stupid, he thinks. if only his friends weren't the loudest speakers in school, he'd probably be ranting to them about this, but he remains determined to find out what love means to him.

ever since that night, gyuvin made it his goal that one day, he'll have the most upvotes on his quora answer and everyone will reply this is exactly what love feels like.

old white man be damned, gyuvin is going to have a more relatable answer. just watch, he thinks.

gyuvin swears he felt love when he watched you introduce yourself on the first day of school, he found it hilarious. after school, you almost cut him off from how much he teased you about it. only did he redeem himself when he willingly became your servant for 2 months, to his friends surprise (and ultimately gyuvin’s embarrassment).

and he feels it once more while you're slowly losing your mind over a chemistry assignment. the way your hair sticks out in all directions from all the times your hands kept running through in frustration, the way your eyebrows furrow when you finally get a logical answer after five grueling minutes, that's when gyuvin confirms it.

“what?” you ask, noticing how gyuvin has been awfully quiet and smiling to himself. “is my answer wrong or something?” you worry, looking back and forth from your paper to his.

he's in love.

gyuvin immediately comes back to his senses and waves you off, “it's nothing. just thought of something.” he says. to be fair, what he said wasn't much of a lie. he was thinking of you after all.

you scoff at his half-assed answer, "whatever. i'm going back to number 6." mumbling as you look back at your paper. "yeah, i'll go back too." gyuvin says, smiling amusingly at his answers (he's only done 4 questions).

“seriously, gyuvin. you're disgusting.” you laugh, pointing at the dried-up ice cream stains at the corner of his lips. "you look like you drooled or something."

gyuvin rolls his eyes, “at least wipe it off for me. both my hands are occupied.” he says while holding up his ice cream and a small plastic spoon, obviously finding a reason for you to do it. “what a loser..” you mumble before trying to find a few pieces of tissue in your backpack, putting it up to his lips to wipe the remnants off.

and gyuvin fights the urge to say “i'm in love with you,” at that moment. opting to share a few details about his day instead since he knows how you're always invested in whatever drama he manages to dig out.

damn his demons are hard to beat today, he curses to himself.

as he looks at you, eyes purely focused on his as if you're anticipating more, gyuvin's heart feels lighter than ever. he feels the slight click one quora user said in his answer, albeit very softly, to the point he might've missed it.

“that's all i have today.” gyuvin shrugs, in his defense, you were always his highlight of the day, not some random drama he heard from gunwook every lunchtime, but he can't tell you that just yet. “boring.”

he smiles amusingly, “i might have something else cool in mind though. but i don't know if you'd wanna hear it.” mentally preparing on the spot is something gyuvin wouldn't wish even on his worst enemy.

you look at him incredulously, mouth slightly agape. “what? of course i'd wanna hear it.” setting your cup of ice cream down just to show gyuvin how interested you were.

“well, i’ve liked you for quite some time and —”

"so ricky was right!"

gyuvin feels his inner demons creep up on him right after, he swears he could hear them laughing at this very moment. “..so, you knew all this time? because of ricky?” you chuckle at how quiet his voice became.

“he told me last night since he thought you were being kinda weird lately, and he knew we always go out after school, so he warned me you might confess or something.” gyuvin puts his head in his hands, whining at his now spoiled confession, “i wanted this to be cute..”

it's an understatement to say ricky and gyuvin were on bad terms for a while, though you couldn’t stand the amount of shade they kept throwing at the other, so you forced them to make up on gyuvin’s fifth day of his villain origin story against ricky.

“you know i can't kiss you right now if your breath smells like the cheeseburger you ate, gyuvin.” you point out, snickering at gyuvin's exaggerated pursed lips and dramatic reaction to your words.

“the cheeseburger you bought for me. so technically it's not my fault.” he shrugs nonchalantly, a stark contrast to how he kept whining about wanting even a small peck a minute ago.

you watch gyuvin, who's on the verge of losing his mind at the thought of at least 10 minutes with no affection, “okay, fine. i'll drink something to get that burger taste out.” he surrenders quickly to your amusement.

laughing at his defeated walk to his fridge, “not my fault you wanted takeout after studying.” you heard him mumble under his breath.

“you agreed to it!” you retort, gyuvin comes back with the iced tea he ordered along. “of course i would, why would i say no to you?” he says before drinking.

“plus, if i didn’t confess to you on a whim last week, i’d probably kiss you right now and i wouldn’t know you hate cheese breath. imagine how horrifying that would be for me.”

once he makes sure any trace of cheese in his breath is gone, he smirks at you expectingly but in reality, it's his usual goofy smile. “can you give me a kiss now?” he says, paper cup still in his hand as if it was some cliche house party scene.

“now that i think of it, cheeseburger and iced tea breath is even more disgusting.”

“oh fuck you.”

#zb1 x reader #zerobaseone x reader #zb1 scenarios #zb1 drabbles #zb1 imagines #zerobaseone gyuvin #kim gyuvin #kim gyuvin x reader #gyuvin imagines

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 莲花楼/Mysterious Lotus Casebook

Mysterious Lotus Casebook is a 2023 drama about a beautiful twunk who just wants to die of his chronic illness in peace, except that neither the dumbass purebred dog of a man who has decided they're best friends now nor the jock begging him for a rematch are going to let him go without a fight (in the latter's case, literally).

Also they ride around in a magical bamboopunk RV.

I have referred to it elsewhere as "the CW presents: Nirvana in Fire," and I stand by that assessment. (I orginally called it Tiger Beat Nirvana in Fire, before realizing that Kids These Days will not get that reference. Shout out to the other elder millennials in the audience!)

There's been a lot of English-speaking fandom buzz about this show, to the point where if you're in these circles, I'm sure you've heard about it before. I know I had by the time I started watching -- which left me largely unprepared for the actual viewing experience, because the parts of the show that fans talk about are not a representative sample of the show itself.

This drama can be a good time. It's fun to watch. It has some hilarious beats and also some emotional moments. It spent its not-huge budget very smartly, and as such is generally quite lovely to look at. As my League of Nobleman rec will attest, I appreciate raw materials, and this is a show that has some fascinating raw materials.

(Or some materials that need to get rawed, take your pick.) (Also, it's not my fault they didn't do a dramatically lit Fang Duobing shot so I could round out the trio here.)

You'll find some people out there who've gone real hard for this show, doing some deep analyses and getting really emotional over it. I don't want my gentle ribbing to give the impression that those silly fans are delusionally talking like the show's a five-star restaurant when it's really just a fast food joint. Not so! There's a reason it's captivated a whole lot of people! And in case you might be one of those, allow me to give you five reasons you should consider watching it.

1. This bitch

The main character, Li Lianhua/Li Xiangyi is probably 50% of the show's appeal all by himself. He's fascinating. He's gender. He's fashion. He's been afflicted with a substance we called "bitch poison" the whole time we were watching. He has many emotions. He cries a lot. He coughs up blood every other episode. Cheng Yi is putting his whole lianhuassy into this performance, and it shows.

I made the Nirvana in Fire comparison earlier, and I stand by it for a lot of reasons, but the truth is that he's actually much more Opposite Day Mei Changsu: Li Lianhua wants all this stuff to fuck off and leave him alone forever. He is not seeking vengeance, nor does he particularly want to Do Schemes, but Circumstances keep dragging him back into the thick of all this nonsense he thought he left behind when he (mostly) died ten years ago.

The thing is, he used to be a real dick back when he was a kid. And I mean a real dick. He was a dick to his chronically insecure adoptive older brother. He was a dick to his girlfriend with the personality of wet tissue paper. He was a dick to the handsome loser who liked his girlfriend. He was a dick to his followers. He was basically just a cocky little shithead who thought he was the best at everything -- and he actually was the best at everything, which just made it worse.

Li Xiangyi used to think everything (especially himself) was sooooo important, and now that life has massively kicked his ass, Li Lianhua had come around to the position that nothing is actually that important, so let's just all chill and grow vegetables. He doesn't want a rematch. He doesn't want to retake his rightful place as the head of anything. He just wants to pay his respects to the dead before he joins them.

Now will everybody please just stop moving into his house.

2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (affectionate)

As I mentioned earlier, everything I'd seen about the show on Tumblr had still left me absolutely unprepared for what a silly ride it is. Because it's silly. Hoo boy, is it silly. My wife dubbed it "lace front Phoenix Wright," just to give you a metric for how silly we're talking. Ace Detective Fang Duobing never cross-examined a parrot, but I feel he came close.

This show has some serious goof-ass jianghu nonsense -- you know, the sort of stuff that's impossible and ridiculous, except everybody’s going to treat it like it's just a normal part of existence. Here's a short and certainly inexhaustive list:

mind-controlling bugs

other bugs that control the mind-controlling bugs

ex-conjoined twins

a grown-ass man who can compress himself into bitchy third-grader

grave-robbing societies with secret brag language

so much nonconsensual qi-blocking performed by poking people in the boobs, that can't be safe, everybody wear thicker shirts

magical crossdressing powers

a bad guy who looks like this

a princess who can get abducted and sex-trafficked and, like, nobody really notices? huh.

healing childhood paralysis by the power of believing in yourself

a ... hallucination pit? what was that, anyway?

so. many. mechanisms.

the equivalent of the "he's only mostly dead" business from the Princess Bride

a gradually lethal bookshelf

the strange amnesia everyone suffers from where a dude can cover maybe 30% of his face and render himself immediately unrecognizable to long-time friends and associates

The thing is: I think this goof-ass jianghu nonsense is a legitimate selling point. I found it so fun. I turned off my need for show elements to obey little things like the laws of physics, and I had a good time. It can be a very funny drama, in part because it knows how silly a lot of its shit is, and it chooses to go full speed ahead with a sincere heart. If you are down for some shounen absurdity, you are in for a treat.

However:

2.2. goof-ass jianghu nonsense (derogatory)

I'm granting myself a sub-point here, because this is an important qualifier for the previous point.

I'm going to assume, based on what I've seen from fan responses, that many of the people who really like this show actually don't like the goof-ass jianghu nonsense. They are here for the BL vibes (after all, there are three cute boys who alll have some intense emotions about one another), and therefore downplay all the parts that aren't that. I want to make it clear that this is not a bad thing to do. There are many, many properties where I myself fixate on a single element and toss the rest into the sea. No judgment here.

However, since this is a post written to convine you to watch something, I want to make it clear what you're going to get if you dive in. If you're one of those people who skips scenes and/or entire episodes when your ship of choice isn't onscreen, you're probably going to be doing that a lot here. (I mean, I can't imagine doing this, but Tumblr has taught me that fandom is a rich tapestry.) The bones are good, but the connective tissue can be questionable.

The main thing I wish I'd known before starting is that the mysteries are not the selling point. They are the celery that gets the cute boy peanut butter to your mouth. You, the viewer, absolutely cannot solve them; you're never given enough context or information to keep up with the detective lads, much less get ahead of them. Everyone does everything in the most convoluted way possible, to the point of comic absurdity. Finding out whodunnit is rarely that satisfying, because too often the culprit is Jianghu Steve, You Know, That Guy Over There With The Superpower The Characters All Know About But You'd Never Heard Of Before Thirty Seconds Ago.

The goof-ass jianghu nonsense feels like the place where the show I see fans talking about least lines up with the show that actually exists. And I think that's a shame, because I think the show that actually exists is actually a good time! It's just, you know ... silly.

3. Whenever Di Feisheng's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking, 'Where's Di Feisheng?

This drama gets sold like it's the adventures of three guys together. (Hell, I kind of did it myself in the intro.) This is not the case. This is the tale of two guys who do most of the plot stuff near one another, and their occasional third, Di Feisheng.

This is a 40-episode series and I swear this guy's onscreen for maybe 15% of the time -- and for half of that, he's just off doing his own thing anyway. He disappears entirely for huge chunks of the series, which is a crime, because he is my absolute favorite.

He is the rare grumpy himbo. He doesn't just have resting bitchface, he has bitchface for all occasions. He somehow has bitchface even during the rare moments he actually smiles. He's got a whole traumatic backstory, but the traumatic backstory is not the reason for the bitchface. He's Just Like That.

(Important to note that the actor himself only slightly has a resting bitchface. Xiao Shunyao can look normal and indeed quite pleasant. He has simply leaned into it real hard for this grouch.)

The one -- one -- reason I can accept his being gone for so ding-dang much of the show is how often he re-emerges with perfect, hilarious timing. Thank goodness the show realizes how much comedic potential his character has, because his unexpected entrances are some of the best laugh-out-loud moments of the series. If the show had taken Di Feisheng as seriously as Di Feisheng takes himself, he would have been unbearable. As it is, he's an unmitigated delight.

While you losers were being heterosexual, he studied the blade.

He makes the perfect foil for both Fang Duobing, who's the human equivalent of a puppy trying to gnaw an elephant to death, and Li Lianhua, who just wants to be excused from this narrative. Di Feisheng and Fang Duobing are basically two dogs fighting over their favorite toy, and their favorite toy is Li Lianhua, who really wishes he weren't. Some of the most compelling and fun moments of the series are when these three losers are all together.

And these three losers are barely all together.

This show is Not Danmei. It's so Not Danmei that I had a tremendously difficult time while making this post finding either official images or screencaps with even two of them in frame at the same time, much less all three. It is, however, a Danmei Starter Kit. I mean, the tag on AO3 has, at present, 742 works in it (283 in English). That's just since July! There are years-old c-drama shows that have a fraction of that fan output! And I'm willing to bet a big reason why is how little the very intense boys with ridiculously compelling interpersonal dynamics actually interact onscreen.

But, I hear you asking, why would less of what the fans want equal more fan goo? Well, friends, that's exactly what the fan goo is for: filling in the blanks. And this here show has a lot of blanks. Look, I've made a very scientific diagram (that many people seem to agree with) about how this all works:

The Hump of Compelling Mediocrity is the place where the amount of stuff worth thinking about far outpaces what the show actually contains of said stuff textually. It is the ideal location for imagination adventures.

Di Feisheng and Li Lianhua's relationship in particular lives right in the middle of that hump, what with the huge gaps in their backstory and all. They are a pair made entirely of unanswered questions. What the hell is going on there? What's their whole history, beyond the big fight? Why are they like this about one another? The show refuses to say. Whatever you imagine, you're correct. Now go tell AO3 about it.

interlude: God's perfect dipshit

I feel like I'm engaging in Fang Duobing erasure in the rest of this post, since he's not at the tip of any of the points I'm making, so I'm going to add a picture of him here, because I love him and want to pinch his perfect little cheeks.

You know what I am shocked by? How the MLC/DMBJ reincarnation fics apparently have not taken hold yet. I give it another two months.

4. IT HAS A DOG

FOX SPIRIT, MY SWEET BABY

'You mean the dog gets a whole selling point to himself' yes the dog gets a whole selling point to himself, because he is a very good dog and a very good boy (and his actor is a very good girl)

Apparently he has a whole backstory in the novel that never gets included in the drama, including an explanation of why he's named "Fox Spirit," if you feel like going and reading up on that.

Sadly, Fox Spirit is in the show even less than Di Feisheng is, and that is a crime, because he could have solved all these silly human mysteries in thirty minutes flat, Wishbone-style.

Dogs are so good.

5. One bad, bad girl

Do you like an unhinged villainess? Someone who's been sucking down Crazy Juice since beat one? Because oh boy, this show's got one of those for you.

Jiao Liqiao wants two things: to rule the world, and to make Di Feisheng her pretty little housewife. And whomst among us does not understand these two impulses?

She's not even the Big Bad! She's mostly just Di Feisheng's personal nightmare. She is the type of woman for whom the phrase "he's just not that into you" was coined. You've got everyone around her telling her, honey, I don't even think I've ever seen him look at a pair of breasts, while she's already planned their whole wedding menu and reserved the venue.

She has spent the last ten years of Di Feisheng's extended vacation making sure she's the one who's actually in charge, functioning as the point person for all the other evil schemes going on. Instead of handing over the reins upon her himbo boss' return, she's just going to keep doing what she's good at. As long as he keeps doing exactly what she wants him to do, she's gonna let him do it. If he gets out of line, well, there's always Plan B (the B stands for Breaking all of his tendons and making the world's surliest RealDoll).

I love the fact that she's so obviously evil, and he can't see it. To a certain point, it's not his fault -- everyone who serves under him is pretty obviously evil, so that doesn't make her special. But she's real evil even above and beyond that, and his dumb ass can't stop thinking about Li Lianhua long enough to notice any of the hundred or so knives she's aimed right at his back. He's so uninterested in her constant advances that he doesn't register how wanting to fuck someone and wanting to overthrow someone are not mutually exclusive desires.

(Was I bothered throughout most of the series by how her lipstick should be a little more crimson and a little less coral? Yes, but I'm not going to hold it against her. She's busy doing evil stuff. She'll get over to the nearest Jianghu Sephora and restock one of these days.)

While the show occasionally sidelines or straight-up forgets about a lot of its supporting characters for several episodes at a time, it never forgets to check in on what Jiao Liqiao's up to. Claws out, hair done, she is at all times a constant glorious, scenery-chewing menace with excellent taste in terrible men. Absolute legend.

Bonus: These two sluts

They don't get to be a full point because they're not nearly in the show enough, but just look at them. This is peak male character design. Slutty undone hair and slutty bare forearms, be still my bisexual heart.

Going to give it a try?

iQiyi's got you exclusively, baby.

Have I sounded a little defensive in this rec? Yeah, probably. It's just that I know there's a big and pretty intense fandom out there for this already, and I feel like a jerk coming in and being like "sure, it's fun!" when people are posting about how it made them cry for weeks. I want to be clear that that's not a bad reaction to have, while at the same time also being clear that that's not the reaction I had.

I might not even have written this rec, had I not been nudged to -- not because I don't think it's worth watching (I clearly do!), but because I don't know how much help it needs from the likes of me. There are plenty of other evangelists out there that'll give much more enthusiastic recommendations (like this one).

But the truth is that not every show has to be a heartbreaking work of staggering genius to everyone. I watched the show, and I liked it, and I had a normal time.

I also think there's something to the way I watched it, which was: one episode per day, schedule permitting, such that it took nearly two months for me to finish it. (And before you think I singled MLC out for this, this is actually how I watch most c-dramas.) I bet binging it is a way different experience, one where what rises more readily to the top is the tragic throughline of Li Lianhua's whole deal. If you're inclined to skip things not immediately germane to your points of interest, this is definitely the show to take at a solid run.

I actually paused in the middle of making this rec and made the one for the Blood of Youth, because the two invite comparisons: jianghu tales with chronically ill protagonists, some imperial bullshit going on, pretty boys with swords being weird about one another. Mysterious Lotus Casebook did not grab me as hard as the Blood of Youth, because MLC went for a more understated take on all its nonsense, instead of shooting completely over the top, which is how I prefer my nonsense (as the record will show). If you take your silliness with a subtler flavor, this could be the perfect thing for you.

Maybe you'll wind up being one of those people who gets their whole insides totally ripped out by this drama! But even if you don't, you're probably going to have a good time watching it anyway. And really, what more can you ask for from a show than that?

Peace, nerds.

#mysterious lotus casebook #莲花楼 #lotus boys #three virgins in an rv #rec post #i made this

[honeybeezgobzzzzz]

𓅨 Walmart Superstore: An Endless' Nemesis

Walmart Superstore: An Endless' Nemesis: Morpheus decides to tag along with you to Walmart when you run errands.

Warnings: One Mopey Ass Endless.

To Note: Morpheus x Reader

Word Count: ~1.7k

You didn’t know what was more comical, the expressions flashing across Morpheus’ face as you walked towards the entrance of your local Walmart… or the fact that a mighty Endless wanted to shopping with you. Especially one as regal and prideful. There really was no need for him to come, you were just running errands, picking up cleaning supplies, toilet paper, a birthday present for your neighbor… you didn’t understand why he had wanted to come. It was a menial task. Mundane. Mortal. So why had the Endless insisted that he accompany you to the superstore when you knew he had better things to do?

You stole another look at Morpheus while collecting a small basket to hold your would be items. He was staring at the corral of blue shopping carts in confusion.

“They’re just shopping carts,” You point out, slipping the basket onto your arm. Morpheus blinked and looked at you with an inquisitive look. “You know… to put the stuff you’re gunna buy in while you’re walking around? Makes it a lot easier when you don’t have to carry all your stuff.”

“Is it necessary for them to be so large?” He asked, blue eyes dropping to the small basket hanging off your arm. “Your choice is far smaller and more reasonable.”

“Because I am only getting a few things.” You said with a shrug, moving in the direction of the cleaning aisle. “I’m not getting an entire cart full of stuff today, so the basket will do just fine. Come on, stay close unless you want to come across a Karen in the wild.” Morpheus didn’t understand what you meant by that, or what a Karen was… was Karen not a mortal name? You spoke of it as if it were a creature instead. That thought dissipated as a large man trundled past, wearing a shirt three times too small, little ‘shorts’ and bright pink flip flops. Another fashion trend he would have to inquire about. The Endless lost interest, and silently followed after you.

The many items lining the shelves passed were all odd to the being and held little interest. Mortals invented the most menial of objects at times. You turned down an aisle and blatantly ignored a couple arguing over a box of… something. Cereal. Their thoughts were loud and obtrusive, echoing painfully within Morpheus’ mind. To you, the argument was just another trip to Walmart. You didn’t bat an eyelash when one hit the other with a box, and proceeded past the aisle of human food to the next.

You eyed the Endless silently trailing beside you. He was in his usual silence but you could see his eyes taking in everything with curiosity. Or maybe disdain? It was sometimes a guessing game with Morpheus for at times he was enchanted with mortal inventions and others, he curled his lip at. Walmart was definitely not a place high on his intimate interests. You’d better make this trip quick lest his broodiness start having a physical effect on the shoppers.

 Running through your mental checklist, you turned down the cleaning aisle and began looking for  disinfectant spray for your kitchen. It was relatively easy to find the brand you used and you dropped the bottle into your basket as Morpheus examined the plethora of choices.

“There are many options, how have you decided on that one?” He enquired, eyes glossing over the many bottles before settling on your face. You shrugged.

“Dunno, I just go with what’s cheap and grew up with.” You answered. You’d never put too much thought into your choice, it was just cleaner. You didn’t need anything fancy, just something that worked. Toilet paper was next. You’d run out after the local elementary school had roped you into helping mummify the Principal. It’d been fun and hilarious, but the event had taken every last roll of  toilet paper you had in the house. You wandered in the direction of the tissue aisle and picked up  what you needed. By now you were on autopilot, forgetting the fact that you had an Endless trailing behind you, perplexed by the all the choices there were of the same item.

All you had left was to get your neighbor a birthday present. Susan had lived next to you in a cute little stone house. She’d lived in that house for at least forty years and was just starting to get around to renovating the place. Her kitchen had been the latest job and you knew that she had been wanting a good coffee maker for the longest time, but always used an ancient one that you could have sworn was from the early 90s just because it still worked.

It was time for a new one.

So you wandered down the small appliance aisle, looking at the models and trying to figure out which one Susan would like best. She was older, so she didn’t need something fancy. Just something that worked and was easy to set up. You were stuck between two models, eyes flickering back and forth while you tried to decide which one to go with, when an announcement over the intercom had your eyes going wide.

 “Y/N Y/L/N, your beloved is at register 10.” What on earth? You were confused to say the least, not quite understanding why an announcement would be made like that. Then you realized something. Morpheus was no longer lingering behind you, silently judging every little thing. You spun in a half circle, searching for the Endless but to no avail, you could not find him!

Good god, the announcement was for you!

Leaving the small appliance aisle, you hurried towards the front of the store while you mind went into overdrive. Beloved? That word was definitely part of Morpheus’ vocabulary and not one that most if any mortals would use. So only one being could potentially be considered your ‘beloved’. … but since when had that happened? You shook your head as you emerged from the depths of the superstore to see the line of registers all normal. One glance at register ten however, and you nearly face palmed yourself.

Morpheus was standing by it with the most despondent pout upon his lips, in a desolate mope that seemed to make a cloud of depression hang around where he stood. You were flabbergasted and wondering what the hell had upset him this time when you approached him. The moment Morpheus saw you approaching, the cloud of dreary darkness dissipated above his head. But not the pout or mope.

“You left me,” He accused you when you approached him, making a dramatic scene to show just how upset he was. “Why did you abandon me?” You opened your mouth to fire back that you simply had just wanted to get your shopping done and weren’t used to having someone with you, but the look within his eyes made you falter. He really did look devastated.

“Okay, first off, I didn’t leave you on purpose,” You informed him, coming to a stop in front of him. “I was just trying to get my shopping done as fast as possible,” He glowered at you and you sighed with a roll of your eyes. “You are making it seem like I intentionally ditched you!”

“It feels as if you did.” He declared, his eyes glimmering pitifully as he loomed over you. “Do you not care for me anymore? Is this you showing me that you no longer wish for my company?? Are you finally casting me aside!?”

“What? No!” You exclaimed, face palming yourself. Where the hell was this coming from!? “Oh my god, Morpheus! I just forgot okay!? I am in no way telling you to leave!” That seemed to abate the watery look in his eyes. You reached for his hand, determined to hold it until you were done shopping and leaving. The last thing you needed was for him to have a meltdown in Walmart. “Come on, I’ve just got to pick out a coffee maker for Susan.”

Pulling him along, you were oblivious to the Endless now basking in the feeling of you grasping his hand. Your fingers were warm and comforting against his cold ones. Arriving back at the small appliance aisle, you retook your position between the coffee makers and gave them one last look. The one on the left looked most Susan friendly, so you’d get that one. Setting your basket down so you didn’t have to break the handhold with Morpheus (because heaven forbid you did), you picked up one of the boxes and put it in your basket. You then picked the basket up and looked at Morpheus.

“Now I am done, we just need to check out and then we can leave.” You told him, watching as he blinked at you. “Okay?”

“Very well,” Morpheus answered, maintaining his grasp upon your hand. His brief moment of complete devastation and despondency was gone from his facial features like it had never happened. Clearing your throat, you began walking back towards the registers, noticing how tightly the Endless held your hand. When you arrived up front, much to your dismay, the only register that was available  and not backed up was register 10. Oh well. It wasn’t like you toted an Endless man-child around with you every time you shopped at Walmart. So you got in line and tried to ignore that stares of several old ladies congregating around the magazines.

When it was your turn to pay, you did so quickly, trying to get out of there as fast as possible. Just as you were grabbing your bag and pulling Morpheus away from the narrow lane, an elderly woman spoke up.

“Oh don’t you two just look so cute together! Calling each other beloved! You don’t see a love like that every day.” Your face burned with heat that bloomed just beneath your skin and you all but dragged Morpheus to the exit.

“Only at Walmart. Only at Walmart.” You chanted to yourself as you fled. You and Morpheus would definitely be having a conversation when you got home because there was no way you were going to be able to function properly without knowing what exactly the Endless being saw your relationship as. “Only at Walmart.”

Date Published: 6/29/23

Last Edit: 6/29/23

Dream of the Endless Masterlist

#morpheus x reader #dream of the endless x reader #dream the endless x reader #lord morpheus #sandman x reader #morpheus #the sandman netflix #dream of the endless #dream the endless #the sandman

[ghostlykeyes]

aki with a s/o who cries very easily? Like saw a sad video? cries. Hit the foot on the corner of the closet? cries. Was someone rude? cries.

Aki

Sure, some people may be annoyed by your constant stream of tears—Aki is not one of those people. With the daily bullshit he has to endure from Power and Denji, your propensity for waterworks is barely a blip on the radar. He's never mean or irritated or snaps at you when you're crying over dropping and shattering his favorite mug. He's always ready to help you through the latest hurdle, and he never makes you feel bad about it.

Aki's always prepared to comfort you and he's got it down to an exact science. He knows the exact words that will staunch the flow of tears, the exact place to rub your cheek and kiss your forehead to calm you down. No one helps you stop crying like Aki can.

Always prepared for anything, Aki perpetually keeps a pack of Kleenex wadded in his back pocket. No sooner does he see your eyes welling up do his hands dive into his pocket, digging out the tissues. There's little smiling goldfish printed across the plastic packaging, swimming through swathes of your favorite color—not exactly his style, but you think it's cute, and that's what matters, anyway.

If he senses anyone is getting a bit rude to you, Aki immediately sends them an absolute death glare, something that says "Cut that shit out or you'll be picking your teeth up off the floor." For all but the very stupidest, this is enough to make them suddenly get a whole lot nicer to you.

Aki carefully gauges your mood before sharing any bad news or talking out any issues with you. No, he doesn't mind comforting you when you cry, but he'd rather not be the reason you do it—it makes him feel like his heart is going through a paper shredder. He approaches any delicate situations with delicacy, trying his best to help you process things without any undue distress.

Of course Denji and Power take advantage of your quickness to cry to tease the absolute shit out of you. They won't be malicious, of course, but they think it's hilarious if you start tearing up because they tell you your favorite snack got discontinued or they showed you a sad video. Aki absolutely hates it and threatens not to feed them for days if he catches them trying to get a rise out of you. It works in getting them to behave—most of the time.

Secretly, Aki thinks your flushed, hot cheeks and watery eyes are pretty cute. In that moment when you've stopped crying but the evidence is still stamped all over your face, he could just squeeze your cheeks and press kisses against them for hours. Sometimes, to cheer you up, he does!

Aki affectionately calls you his little crybaby, if you're not bothered by it. It's not a term he uses in front of other people—he doesn't want anyone to think he's making fun of you, or being dismissive. But when you're alone, slicing onions in the kitchen or folding t-shirts in the laundry room, he'll smile at you fondly and cup your cheek in his smooth hand, stealing a private, intimate moment. "I love you, my little crybaby," he'll murmur against your forehead when he draws you close.

#chainsaw man/reader #chainsaw man x reader #chainsaw man #chainsaw man headcanons #aki hayakawa x you #aki x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #aki hayakawa/reader #aki chainsaw man #hayakawa aki #aki csm #aki hayawaka #aki x you #aki hayakawa

[donniesexceptionalmind]

AUTISTIC PEOPLE ARE BETTER AT NESTING THAN AUTISTIC MICE!!!

Any fellow autistic will know what I mean:

Getting in your favourite spot with all your favourite belongings nested around you. Lots of pillows, plushies & blankets. Comfortable lights. Noise-cancelling headphones with music. Some beverage (tea, coffee, water). A same food.

And you are ready to stay this way for the whole day.

THIS IS AUTISTIC NESTING & it provides comfort & safety.

This study has a 0-5 point scale to rate how good autistic mice are at non-marternal nesting. Spoiler: they get the score 1.

✨️ 1. ✨️

Score 1 means: mouse has created a primitive nest, mostly flat & contains almost the whole flat paper tissue

In contrast: Score 4: mouse has successfully created a complex hooded nest, including walls that create a ceiling and a single opening as the entrance.

This is hilarious. /lh

I am SO BETTER AT NESTING than them.

THIS will be my new conversation starter & NO ONE can STOP ME.

#donatello infodumps #donnies special interests #donnies exceptional mind #turtle net #rottmnt #autism #autism research #autistic nesting #science infodump #autistic culture #autistic traits

[pedroshotwifey]

Topped With a Bow

Pairing: Frankie Morales x afab!reader x Santi Garcia

Word Count: 4.5k

Tags/Warnings: no use of y/n, oral sex m&f receiving, PIV sex, ass eating what who said that, anal sex, double penetration, blowjobs, dom/sub dynamics, daddy kink but only like once, vaginal fingering, wifey thinks she's hilarious with her titles, i'm probably forgetting stuff but oh well

Summary: On your birthday, you expect for Santiago to have something waiting at home for you. What you don't expect, however, is for that something to be Frankie Morales.

A/N: So, funny story, this was actually supposed to be written in time to post on my birthday, which was October 3rd. Obviously, that didn't work out, but it's proof that wifey can get her shit together every now and again, (although apparently not her birthday) so we'll take what we can get. Anyway, please enjoy! Likes, comments, and reposts are veryyy much appreciated! <3

***

“Good morning, birthday girl!” 

You jump, almost spilling your coffee as you walk into the door of your office, only to be ambushed by one of your co-worker’s cheery greetings. Kira, who is always somehow completely awake in the mornings, seems to be more energetic than ever today. Not that you mind, of course, this dull office needs her morale. 

“Thank you, girly,” you say with a smile before going in for a hug. You’d never tell, but she’s by far your favorite person to work with. It makes you feel warm inside to know that she bothered to remember your birthday in the first place, so when she separates from you to shove a gift bag into your free hand, you feel like you might cry. 

“Aw, Kira, you really didn’t have to do that!” You already know that she is going to insist, but you tell her anyway. You roll your eyes playfully as she immediately tells you that ‘Of course, she had to!’

“Okay, hold on, lemme just set my things down,” you tell her, jerking your head for her to follow you. You smile and shake your head at her in disbelief as you pass through the heavily decorated office. Everywhere you look, you see balloons and streamers of your favorite colors. 

Almost all of your co-workers peek their heads up to tell you happy birthday, and it makes you feel special, even though you’re not really one to make the day a big deal. 

Once you get to your desk, you place your coffee and purse in their respective places before peaking inside the gift bag. Taking the tissue paper out, you find two books that you’ve been wanting to read for a while, as well as a starbucks gift card. 

“Girl!” You grin brightly at Kira. “You spoil me, really.” You take a step forward to pull her into a hug one more time, which she gladly reciprocates. “Thank you,” you say, giving her a small squeeze. 

“You’re welcome, babe,” she says as she steps back. “I’ve got to go ahead and get back to work before the boss chops my head off, but I hope you have an amazing day, hottie,” she sends you a friendly wink at the nickname. 

You playfully roll your eyes and tell her to do the same before plopping down in your office chair to boot up your laptop. It doesn’t look like you have too much work to do, which means you might be able to get out of here early. Perfect. 

***

You skip your lunch break and get your work done by 2:30. Surprisingly, your boss gives you permission to go home, which is perfect because you had told Santi this morning that you were hoping to be back by 3:30 at the latest. You’re eager to get back to your apartment to your roommate–and on occasion, fuckbuddy. 

You don’t remember exactly when it started. One day both of you just kind of realized you missed intimacy, but neither of you wanted another commitment. Santi’s attractive, you’re attractive, and this way, neither of you have to worry about the stress of a relationship. Thankfully, it hasn’t messed with your dynamic, and now it’s just a normal thing. 

Both of you are allowed to see other people, and if one of you wants to stop hooking up at some point, there’s no offense to be taken. It’s honestly the best arrangement you could ask for at the moment. Anyway, whatever Santi is, You kind of figure that he’ll have a certain “surprise” waiting for you for your birthday. Your panties are slick just thinking about it. 

Wasting no more time, you pack your stuff and say a quick good-bye to Kira before rushing out to your car. You immediately call Santi to let him know you’re on your way. 

“Hey, baby!” You say as soon as he picks up. 

“Hey, babydoll. On your way?” 

“Yup, should be there in like twenty minutes or so.” 

“Okay, baby, I’ll be waiting.” 

Smirking, you hang up. He sounds awfully cheeky to not have a surprise. You’re glad you decided to wear your nice matching panty and bra set today, you have a feeling Santi will want to get right to it once you walk in the door. You hope so, anyway. Your thighs clench as you begin to think of scenarios you hope to find yourself in when you get home. 

***

With traffic, it takes you about 22 minutes to get to your complex. As soon as you park, you jump out of your car and bee-line to your door. You don’t even have a chance to put your keys in the door before it’s being pulled open by your roommate. 

He immediately grabs you and pulls you to him, pressing his lips against yours. You giggle as you drop your purse and kick the door shut behind you. 

“Wow, someone’s enthusiastic,” you say, pulling away just enough to get the words out. 

Santi looks for a second like he might want to say something, but obviously changes his mind as he pushes you back to pin your against the door. His plush lips crash into yours once again, and you let yourself melt into the kiss. As it gets more heated, you can feel his dick hardening against you, and you subconsciously begin to grind into it, making him moan into your mouth. 

Suddenly, he pushes off of you. 

“Santi, wha-”

“I know, honey,” he says, his eyes pleading. “As much as I want to stand here and devour you, I want you to see your gift just a little bit more.” 

“A gift?” You ask, your own eyes lighting up. “Santi! You really didn’t have to!”

“Oh,” he says, mischief suddenly appearing in his gaze. “But I did.” 

You eye him suspiciously as he pulls you toward your room, stopping once he reaches the hallway. You’re about to open it when he begins talking, signaling for you to wait. 

“You remember that thing we talked about last time we were out with the guys?” He sounds sheepish yet excited at the same time, the tone making you raise an eyebrow in suspicion. When he doesn’t elaborate, you try to wrack your brain for the memory. 

The entire group had met up at a bar, and you had gotten pretty drunk, to be honest. You begin to shake your head, but then something clears up. That can’t be what he’s talking about, right?

You recall making a comment about Frankie. You aren’t sure exactly what it was, but Santi had caught you looking him over. Sure, you’ve always found Frankie extremely attractive–I mean, who wouldn’t? But you never meant to make it known, especially to Santi. You were too scared of him telling Frankie, and you wouldn’t be able to handle getting turned down by such a goddamn hunk. Though, if you remember correctly, you had been thoroughly surprised by what Santi had to say. 

Apparently, he and Frankie had their fair share of hook-ups throughout the years, though they stayed completely platonic other than that. Santi had asked you if you would hook up with Frankie if you had the chance, and, because you were drunk off your ass, you told the truth–yes. Santi had smiled with an amused look in his eye, and that was that. Or so you thought. 

“You don’t mean that thing about Frankie, right?” you ask, your cheeks beginning to redden with embarrassment. Santi just smiles wider. 

“What are you trying to get from this, Santi?” you question, suspicion lacing your voice. 

“Nothing at all, baby,” he assures you. He pulls at your wrist before you have a chance to ask anything else, immediately setting a path for the bedroom. You struggle to keep up as he tugs you down the hall to the cracked door. 

When he opens it, your jaw drops. You had expected Santi to have a certain ‘surprise’, but you hadn’t expected him to bring in an extra. 

Sitting on your bed, completely naked except for a red bow tied loosely around his hardened cock, is none other than Frankie Morales. 

“Happy birthday, carino,” Frankie says, a knowing smirk plastered on his handsome face.

You can’t think of a single thing to say in response to that, but that's okay, considering your throat is too dry for you to make a noise anyway. Luckily, Santiago saves you when he gives you a small push toward Frankie. Through the shock, you had almost forgotten he was behind you. 

“Go on, honey, open your present,” he says as if all of this is completely normal. “Though I guess there’s not much left to unwrap,” he adds with a chuckle, which Frankie joins in on. 

Jaw still wide open, you slowly turn to Santi as if to make sure this isn’t some kind of trick. When you face him, however, you find that he’s already working at the zipper on his jeans. Clearly he’s just as eager as you are for you to ‘open your present’. 

As the situation really starts to set in, you feel a tug of excitement in your chest, and then another from in between your legs. Once he has his jeans on a heap on the floor, Santi looks at you, and you can feel the smile that slowly creeps onto your face. You’re about to fuck both of these drop-dead-gorgeous men. Holy fucking shit. 

He smiles back and nods at you as if to say ‘go on, baby’. You don’t have to be told twice. You quickly flip back around to watch Frankie place his hand around his thick cock, slowly starting to jerk off in front of you. He keeps dark eyes on you while he touches himself, daring you to come toward him. You reciprocate his lusty gaze with one of your own as you walk toward the bed. You can feel Santi trailing right behind you. 

“You want to suck Frankie’s cock, baby?” Santi asks as he gently gathers your hair and lets it fall down your back. “We both know how much you love having a good dick in your mouth,” he continues. “So good at it, always make me feel so fucking good.” 

A small moan slips from your lips as you nod, keeping your eyes on Frankie. The way his tongue peeks out to wet his bottom lip for a brief second makes your knees buckle. With Santi’s help, you slowly sink down to your knees so that you’re eye level with Frankies cock.

 His hand is still moving in slow strokes, rustling the ribbon tied around him with every pass. A bead of precome dribbles from his slit and runs down his shaft, making you whine at the sight. 

“C-can I?” you ask him once you find your voice. He chuckles quietly and uses his other hand to smooth down your hair, before he drops it down to your shoulder to place it over Santiago’s. 

“Of course, hermosa, it’s all for you, go ahead and take it,” Frankie tells you as he brings his hand back up to rest on your head. You’re still a bit hesitant, but you know it’s what you really want. 

With shaky hands, you reach up and untie the bow around his cock. Frankie removes his own hand as you get to work, setting it down on the bed beside him. You look up through your lashes to find Frankie staring hungrily down at you. The look gives you a sudden boost of confidence, and you smirk as you slowly tug the ribbon off of him, letting the silk slither around the base of him. 

He groans quietly and bucks his hips at the feeling. As you get more comfortable, Santi leaves your side to strip the rest of the way, keeping an eye on the two of you as he does so. The whole situation has your panties absolutely drenched, and you want nothing more than to take them off, but Frankie’s cock is right there. Okay, maybe there’s one thing you want more. 

You lick your palm and begin to stroke him off as Santi resumes his position, commenting on how good you look on your knees. You don’t waste another minute before you’re taking Frankie’s tip into the heat of your mouth. He groans but keeps his palm steady on your head, not pushing you down, but not letting you up, either. 

“God, baby, fucking mouth feels so damn good.” 

You smirk around him as he praises you and begin to take him deeper, increasing your suction as you go. When you’re at the base, he bucks his hips again, making you choke slightly. You try to pull your head back out of pure reflex, but his hand holds you where you’re at. The action somehow makes you even wetter. 

You’re quickly distracted from the tears that well up in your eyes, however, when you feel your dress being flipped up behind you, exposing your ass to Santi, who delivers a sharp slap to one of your cheeks. 

“Such a pretty ass, babydoll.” 

At that, Frankie lets you off his dick just enough for you to take in a gulp of air and say a quick ‘thank you’ to Santiago. Before you can put your eager mouth back on Frankie, Santi swats your behind for a second time.

“Thank you, what?” God, that fucking tone, you could never resist it. 

“Thank you, Daddy,” you half moan. Frankie moans right along with you as you say it. Apparently both of the boys have a thing for that. You don’t hate it. 

You don’t wait long before taking Frankie back into your mouth and starting to bob your head up and down at a brutal pace. You choose to listen to the whimpers and moans that tumble from his mouth as Santi begins to pull your panties down your legs. As your clit is exposed to the cool air of the bedroom, it twitches, making you whine yourself.

“I know, baby, I’m gonna take care of you,” Santi says as he brings a hand to your dripping cunt.

“Damn, carino, so fucking wet already,” he says, slipping two fingers into your pussy. “Such a desperate whore for us.” Based on the sounds coming from behind you, you can guess that Santi has his other hand wrapped around his cock. 

“D-damn fuckin’ right,” Frankie grunts out as he rocks his hips up to your mouth. “Can’t believe you’ve been keeping her all to yourself, Santi.” 

“Hey, I’m sharing now, aren’t I?” Santi begins to pump his fingers in and out of you, crooking them into just the right spot. You can feel your orgasm approaching already. 

The way the two engage in what sounds like a casual conversation only serves to turn you on even more, which is made clear in the vigorous way you continue to blow Frankie. You and Frankie are pushed over the edge at the same time, and you find it extremely difficult to swallow his cum while your eyes are in the back of your head, but you manage. 

The sounds that Frankie let out are absolutely delicious, and you find yourself already craving more. The hand he has in your hair pushes you down and pulls at the strands at the same time as he whines and groans above you. 

You try not to gag as his dick finishes pulsing in your throat. Once he’s sure he’s done, he loosens his grip on your hair and lets your head back up. He notices a rogue tear falling down your cheek and smiles at you as he swipes it away with his thumb. 

“Good fucking job, hermosa,” he praises before locking eyes with Santi, who is busy sucking your cum off of his fingers. “Santi’s been training you well, huh?”

“Tastes fucking delicous, too,” Santi says after he pulls his fingers out of his mouth. You feel his hand return to your cunt shortly after. You shiver as he dips his digits into your pussy to collect more of your spend before offering it to Frankie, who takes Santi’s fingers in his mouth.

“Fuck, he’s right, sweetheart,” Frankie says after Santi pulls his fingers away. “Wanna eat that sweet pussy out all day, but I think Santi here deserves to get a turn to get his dick wet, don’t you?” 

Still hazy from your orgasm, you simply nod up at him, letting him pet your hair back as you do so. Frankie’s eyes soften as he takes in your disheveled appearance, his gaze holding a sense of both pride and passion. 

“Good girl,” Frankie says as Santi walks around to your other side, now fully undressed. 

“Why don’t you hop on the bed for us, baby?” Santi says it like it’s an option, but you know better than that–not like you’d deny him anyway. 

“Yes, Sir,” you say as you pull yourself onto the bed, getting ready to settle on your hands and knees. Suddenly, you’re stopped by Santi’s hand on your hip. 

“Y’know what, Frank?” Santi asks thoughtfully, making you look over at him. As you glance at Frankie, you can tell he is just as confused. 

"What's that, santi?” 

“I think she could actually use a bit more assistance before I stuff my cock into her.” His smile widens as he grabs the back of Frankie’s neck, pulling him toward you.

“Why don’t you go ahead and have a taste to help her out?” 

Before you know it, you’re positioned on your back, your ass almost hanging off the bed, and Frankie is between your legs, groaning into your cunt. He eats you out like a starved man as you grope at his curls, your screams letting him know how good he’s making you feel.

He alternates between sucking harshly on your clit and dipping his tongue into your weeping core, the combination absolutely blinding all senses but touch. Just as you’re about to come, you feel the devastating loss as Santi grips Frankie’s neck and pulls him away from you, making you and Frankie let out equally pitiful whines. 

“Aww, I’m sorry, baby.” He says, a shit eating grin adorning his features as he looks down at the two of you. “Had a better idea. Scootch up on the bed a bit. Frank, you take her place.” 

You’re not sure what Santi has planned, but with the way Frankie’s eyes widen with recognition, you can guess it will be good. You obey him almost immediately, Frankie right on your tail, pushing you until your head lands on the plush pillows near the headboard. He wastes no time in wrapping his arms underneath your thighs and delving back into your pussy. 

“Ass up, Frank,” Santi’s tone leaves no room for argument, but Frankie definitely doesn’t want to fight it. His compliance is evident in the way he pushes his knees under his torso, presenting himself for the other man. 

You can tell the exact moment Santi shoves his tongue into Frankie’s ass by the way he groans and picks up his efforts on your cunt. After a moment, Frankie begins to falter as his body shakes with pleasure, and Santi delivers a slap to his ass, making Frankie whine and buck up into him.

“C’mon, Frankie,” Santi scolds him. “Gotta treat the lady right if I’m gonna make you feel good.” 

Frankie nods between your legs, but clearly it’s not enough to satisfy the other man, because Santi suddenly has his fist in Frankie’s hair, pulling him away from you. You feel tears brim your eyes from being denied again, but you can hardly complain with the scene that’s unfolding in front of you. 

Both you and Frankie whine simultaneously, Frankie from the stress on his hair as Santi clenches his fist, and you from the way the man submits so easily. 

“Words, sweet boy,” Santi says, pulling Frankie close enough for him to say it face-to-face. “Say ‘thank you, Santi’.”

“T-thank you, Santi,” Frankie pants, obviously appeasing Santi as he’s allowed to come back to you. 

“That’s a good boy,” Santi says, smoothing down Frankie’s messed curls. “Don’t get distracted again.” 

As fast as he left, Santi’s back to eating Frankie’s ass, and Frankie’s back to devouring your cunt, whining and whimpering like a mad-man. He must have looped an arm around to grab Frankie’s weeping cock as well because you can feel Frankie grinding up against something. If you weren’t so consumed with bliss, you would wish you could watch the two men get eachother off. 

The entire time, you hear Santi telling you both how well you’re doing for him. He scatters in promises of fucking Frankie in the ass if he does good by you. You never thought that’s something you might want to see, but right now, you’re half tempted to stop everything in favor of the suggestion. 

Before you know it, you’re at the edge of release once again. It takes maybe one or two more flicks of Frankie’s tongue and then you’re cumming in his mouth. The hot pleasure courses through every fiber of your being, the feeling easily warming you. 

As soon as your high is over, You feel Frankie being pulled off of you once again, only to be replaced by Santi, who quickly lines himself up with your entrance before sinking in with one thrust. Frankie, who is now to your side, covers your scream with his mouth as it spills from your lips. 

“God damn, baby, feel so fucking good,” Santi grunts down at you. “Warmed her up nicely, Frankie, good job.” 

At the sound of his name, Frankie pulls himself away from you, opting instead to lean up against the headboard. He looks genuinely tired, panting heavily, but if his cock is anything to go by, he’ll be ready to go again if you just said the word. 

Your body is physically pushed up the bed with the force that Santi is thrusting into you with. He hits that spongy spot inside you with every thrust, causing you to gasp and moan with every punch. It’s almost too much, but when Frankie moves one hand to rub at your clit, you don’t dare think of pushing him away. 

“Look at you, both so f-fucking good,” Santi continues to praise you and Frankie as he somehow picks up his pace. “Think you both deserve a reward.” 

You perk up slightly at that. What the hell more could you want right now. You’re in bliss as you get pounded into, Frankie’s fingers rubbing circles on your clit, Santi’s cock in your deepest parts. When you look over at Frankie to find that he’s pumping himself with his free hand, you almost come from the sight alone. But somehow, Santi always finds a way to make things better.

“You want Frankie to take your ass, angel?” Santi asks.

Your moan is enough of an answer to have Frankie shuffling to sit you up and get behind you before lifting you slightly to line himself up. With all the slick that's traveled back toward your other hole, you are more than prepared to have him sink in. 

Santi slows down to let Frankie slide in with ease, and all three of you groan at the sensation. Your eyes roll to the back of your head at the same time your mouth drops open, a bit of drool escaping as you do so.

You’ve never felt so full in your life. You’ve tried both holes on different occasions with Santi, but you’ve never had both your ass and your cunt being used at the same time. You feel Frankie and Santi shift around you, sandwiching you closer as each of them grabs the back of the other’s neck. 

You feel Frankie thrust into you, and then Santi follows. It takes them a moment to find a good rhythm, but once they do, it's absolute nirvana. You can feel the way they both rub up against your middle wall, sliding against each other and creating an intense pressure. 

“Oh-h mph… Ah!” 

You’re well aware you’re trying to say something, but the words simply can’t form. Every single thought in your head is focused on the men on either side of you. Their grunts and grasps get harsher each time they up their pace, making you bounce on both of their cocks. 

“I know, b-baby,” Santi says, using his free hand to grope at your ass the best he can. “Words are hard when you’re getting fucked good, aren’t they?” 

You clench around them both at his condescending tone, making Frankie whine and Santi hiss through his teeth. Frankie’s hand comes around to tweak at a nipple, and you’re quickly blinded by the pleasure, your orgasm taking over. 

You scream as you gush around Santi, and before long, you feel both of their dicks pulsing inside of you, splattering your walls with hot, thick cum. You don’t realize you’re crying until you feel one of them wipes away a tear. The three of you collapse onto each other, each of you trying to catch your breath as you steal sloppy kisses through your orgasms.

Everything sounds like it’s underwater as you feel your body get moved off of the guys and laid flat on the bed. Both of the men are showering you with praise as they move to get you cleaned up. They take turns bending down to plant a kiss to your lips, and you use all of your effort to reciprocate. 

You watch them smile at each other as they walk into the bathroom, and then you close your eyes.

***

When you open them again, you find yourself lodged–once again–between Frankie and Santi. You feel significantly much cleaner, happy not to wake up covered in dried cum. Though you really probably wouldn’t have minded that much. 

As you take in your surroundings, you see both of the guys lounging in their briefs, watching some movie on the T.V at low volume. You’ve been covered in a light blanket, but you feel much warmer with the way either man has an arm wrapped around you. 

“Hey, sweetheart, welcome back to the land of the living,” Santi jokes once he notices you’re awake. 

“Hey,” you say, smiling between a yawn. It feels good to stretch out. You look over to Frankie only to find him dozing off. You have to stifle a giggle at the sight. Typical Frankie Fashion. 

“He looks tired,” You whisper quietly. 

“Yeah, he really does,” Santi says, his voice laced with humor. “Fuckin’ deserves the sleep, though, we tired him out.” 

“We really did, He was practically in the middle the entire time.”  

You both laugh quietly as Santi pulls you closer into his side. He gives you the slowest kiss you’ve received the whole night. 

“Did you have a good birthday, sweetheart?” he asks, his voice barely a whisper. 

“Of course, baby, it was perfect,” you say. And you mean it, even if you might not be able to walk for a week. Frankie will definitely be back. 

#pedro pascal #oscar isaac #fan fiction #ao3 #smut #pedro pascal smut #frankie morales #santiago garcia #triple frontier #oscar issac smut

[twstfanblog]

The Leech parents are so cute in my head (They have a semi fucked up love story)

Mama Leech was an eel mer who didn't like her current living situation (It was too hot for her liking). So she went and moved herself to the coral sea and just found a cave she was going to hold up in until she got a job. So she's minding her business digging in the sand of this cave just to make sure there's nothing sharp before going to sleep. Only to then be attacked by another eel mer, so she of course fights back.

Papa Leech was doing his favorite mafia thing and going to his favorite cave to dump another body hide a nono. Only to see some random woman digging around and so he thinks she's looking for the bodies.

So yes mama and papa Leech's first meeting was a death match in a cave outside of the city limits. Mid-fight, mama Leech starts yelling at him to get out of her house, she found the cave first so she called dibs. So they just...talk for a bit and papa Leech realizes that mama Leech was just trying to squat since she's new to the area and literally has nothing to her name.

So this man offers to let her live with him. Because either he gets a free housekeeper or he gets to keep an eye on a possible snitch. Fun either way. But over time they fall in love because mama Leech finds it hilarious when papa Leech threatens people with just words in public areas. And papa Leech is deeply attracted to mama Leech being able to rip bodies apart like wet tissue paper (He likes to paint her nails when they're married).

They also only got married once Floyd and Jade were like 2 years old because they kinda forgot that might be something they should do if they're gonna be calling each other husband and wife.

#twst #twisted wonderland #disney twst #leech parents

[cerastes]

I love that unless you are Doctor, Platinum is so utterly uncooperative that her Files mention that Kal’tsit herself took over making her internal RI profile,

and even then she couldn’t get her to actually say anything.

This is funny in and of itself, but it becomes doubly hilarious when you consider that Kal’tsit IS incredibly charismatic and persuasive. She has the tacit respect of Gladiia, Ascalon, and numerous other very proud, very imposing figures. Even the members of Alive Until Sunset seek her out specifically to have Incredibly Important Conversations Regarding Lore. We see various characters, playable and otherwise, be smitten by her charisma or at the very least have nothing but respect for her. Even Lucid!Specter/Laurentina, known troublemaker and rowdy swashbuckler, will graciously comply if it’s Kal’tsit asking.

But what is a god, or a supersoldier, or a veteran Sarkazian general, to a very tired office lady-slash-assassin who hasn’t had a day off in months and who hates her job and her superiors?

Try as she might, Kal’tsit could not get a single truth out of Platinum. 

And what’s Platinum’s next move, after Kal’tsit tries and fails to get ANYTHING out of her, even mundane info like weight or other such sundry morsel of information?

Platinum opts to work closely with Kal’tsit after giving her this much trouble. The absolute balls on this horse.

Kal’tsit put it down on paper: “I have no fucking clue how to reign this horse in the long term besides to bank on her being besties with Doctor, because she sure as shit doesn’t really care about Rhodes Island in general”. And, should it surprise anyone? By chance, Platinum, who had been running like two or three days nonstop from the assassins sent to kill her, comes across Doc and company, bracing herself for a really, really unfortunate end, and Doctor, who did end up not only having dealings with the Armorless Union but also having some tea with Platinum prior to this, instead says “alright team, impromptu overtime, but we’re getting this horse OUT of here and to RI” and this was pretty much the first time in forever since anyone treated her in any way more dignified than “disposable tissue” plus so of course she’s gonna put her trust on the hooded hero that saved her life twice over instead of anyone else, let alone the weird green cat that hates their guts. Platinum’s Operator Files even confirms that she really wants to go on a vacation with Doc somewhere, and also to get paid leave, and her Potential tokens are tickets for the amusement park for herself and Doc.

I don’t know about you, mate, but Platinum and Doc being super besties not only makes sense, it’s about the only way I can see them. Putting aside the fact that Doc has an incredible talent to earn the trust and friendship of assassins (Phantom, Schwarz, Manticore, Gravel), it’s funny that Doctor went to Kazimierz this one time for Actual Rhodes Island Business and to support their pal Margaret Nearl with her things, and came back home with one retired decorated knight (Whislash), one very enthusiastic mechanic (Blemishine), and two assassins that REALLY like him (Platinum and Gravel).

#arknights #look man I love the Kazimierz arcs the Kazimierz events are the vitamins that keep my blood running alongside the Abyssal Hunter stuff #platinum

[ohanny]

prapai x sky intro highlights

this man has no right to be this fine. and rich.

SKY IS A PLANT DAD, i repeat, SKY IS A PLANT DAD. those plants are thriving on a diet of sun, water and gossip. i bet they know so much about rain's dumbass-ery and design theory. i also bet they all have names.

this absolutely gorgeous woman is not paid enough to handle her boss' horny bullshit. she knows it, i know it, we all know it.

this entire scene was so fucking hilarious.

prapai: ah, i'll just make myself at home then.

payu: don't you dare.

prapai: sky's number or your balls will match my suit.

rain: *folds like tissue paper*

#love in the air #LITA #prapai x sky #love in the air ep7 #rain said bros before hoes but daddies before baddies #the sheer audacity of man

[mmufanatic]

MMU Clothes Headcanons

Daisy

- Often wears leggings under skirts because she climbs stuff a lot.

-Likes Dr Martens

-Has a favourite denim jacket that's absolutely covered in badges.

- Always wears night dresses , hates pyjamas.

- Prefers skirts or dresses to trousers

- Sticks random things into her hair- flowers, sparkly pipe cleaners through her plaits, pretty tissue paper...

- Likes hair clips.

- Likes jewellery ( wears SO MUCH jewellery) and makeup (also helps her to fit in ).

Hazel

- Wears hair pins or clips a lot.

- Prefers jeans but wears skirts sometimes.

- Doesn't wear makeup because of the texture.

- Has a mac that she thinks looks really grown up and loves it.

- Has a pair of heeled boots but everyone teases her because she's still shorter.

- Doesn't wear jewellery (except for bracelets made by Beanie of course)

- Prefers dark colours but will wear bright colours occasionally.

Kitty

- Wears skirts, leggings or jeans, no preference.

- Likes shiny or sparkly hair clips.

- Loves jewellery ( Beanie makes her a lot of bracelets).

- Especially loves earrings, has her ears pierced.

- Loves makeup.

- Often wears pastel colours.

- Likes ballet flats except if it comes off her foot George or Lavinia will kick it so she has to hop to get it ( Beanie goes and gets it anyway).

Beanie

- Doesn't wear makeup ( Kitty tried to do it for her once and it didn't end well).

- Wears stuff with cute animals on it.

- Prefers skirts but likes leggings with oversized jumpers.

- Loves anything woolly or fluffy.

- Has a pair of boots that are fluffy on the inside and LOVES them.

- Wears a lot of bracelets because she loves making them.

- Her and Kitty sometimes add bits onto plain hair clips like paper flowers, so she wears them too.

- Wears dungarees.

- Definitely has a fluffy onesie.

Lavinia

- Wears Dr Martens

- Likes dark colours.

- HATES skirts and dresses.

- Wears cargo pants.

- Doesn't wear jewellery, except for a friendship bracelet that Beanie made for her.

- Has a lot of band t-shirts.

- No one is allowed to borrow her stuff. No one.

- Doesn't have that many clothes. George and Kitty have made it their mission to get her to go clothes shopping with them.

Amina

- Wears a lot of hoodies.

- Likes skirts and dresses.

- Wears leggings and fluffy boots a lot.

- Always wearing sandals or flip flops in the summer.

- Likes earrings but otherwise doesn't really wear jewellery.

- Has a pair of heels that Daisy keeps stealing.

- Only lets Daisy borrow her hoodies.

- She regrets this afterwards because Daisy will inevitably get ink on it or something.

- Daisy will desperately try to get the stain off before she gives it back ( while Hazel laughs at her) but Amina will always notice.

Alexander

- Wears jumpers and hoodies all the time but the sleeves are always too short.

- Daisy thinks that this is hilarious.

- Has too many beanie hats because he makes another one if he gets bored ( his gran taught him to knit and crochet).

- He makes a lot of them for Beanie purely because it's called a beanie and she thinks it's really funny.

- Has a lot of pyjamas with cute animals on or patterned- George makes fun of him for this.

- Has a lot of stuff knitted for him from his gran.

George

- His wardrobe is VERY full.

- His dad and Harold keep trying to persuade him to have a clear out but he never does.

- Often doesn't wear what's suitable for the weather ( wears a thin jacket in December).

- Makes impulsive fashion choices that he regrets later ( Daisy has a lot of pictures).

- Has a lot of stuff knitted for him by Alexander.

- Wears bracelets from Beanie.

- Let Daisy paint his nails once and is now trying to get up the courage to ask to borrow her eyeliner.

#george mukherjee #mmu #murder most unladylike #alexander arcady #hazel wong #daisy wells #kitty freebody #beanie martineau #lavinia temple #amina el maghrabi

[heckinconfusedparade]

Here's a Wachowski idea.

The Wachowski brothers probably prank each other on a daily basis. Like Sonic's pranks are simple, but effective pranks like shaking a soda bottle or stuff like that. Tails' pranks would be more enhanced, having a whole contraption and operation for his pranks, predicting every move.

But Tails' pranks can sometimes be taken too far because of that, I mean come on, the kid ran over someone with a car.

Knuckle's pranks would be slightly sloppy due to not getting a handle on this 'pranking', but he's very happy when they work.

Maddie and Tom meanwhile sometimes get caught up in their pranks. Tom sometimes joins in on the pranking fun, leaving Maddie to deal with her kids and child-husband. But she does get her fair share of pranks. So nobody is safe from the pranking war.

Ozzie is just happy to be there.

Sonic likes to stick to the classics. Shaking soda like you said, whip cream on a sleeping persons hand then tickling their nose, and he replaced Tom’s shampoo with pet shampoo. He also has an infinite supply of whoopee cushions.

Tails is more crafty. A master of manipulation. He changed the light in his parents room to change colour every time it’s turned on. He stuffs the toes of Sonics shoes with tissue paper, then removes the tissue paper when Sonic takes his shoes off, making Sonic think his feet grew then hit the undo button. He paints Knuckles’ desk chair a new colour and gaslights him into thinking it’s always been this way.

Knuckles’ pranks include himself. Sonics in the bathroom? He holds the knob so Sonic can’t turn it or open the door. Tails gets lifted and placed on a random surface high up, Tom’s truck is facing sideways blocking the entire driveway. Maddie is safe. Knuckles wouldn’t dare prank his Pretzel Mother.

Tom thinks he’s hilarious. If one of his boys or Maddie is walking past the front of his trunk, he honks the horn and scares them. If someone’s in the shower he will flick off the light.

Maddie has a sister. Like sisters do, they torment each other, meaning she has plenty experience. Her involvement was not expected. She sent Sonic a link to a funny video. He was rickrolled. Tails accidentally fell victim to Maddie wearing a scary mask. It was intended for Tom. Tails didn’t think it was funny. Knuckles’ gloves went missing. Turns out they were in a basket just out of his sight. Maddie also gave Tom cold coffee.

Ozzy snatches food from the table when nobody is looking.

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic the hedghog movie #miles tails prower #tails the fox #sonic 2 #movie tails #sonic #knuckles the echidna #tails squad #movie sonic #tom wachowski #maddie wachowski #sonic wachowski #tails wachowski #knuckles wachowski