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manicpixiefelix · 4 months

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head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 5.

Summary: Reader, Oliver, and the mortifying ordeal of being known. Plus clubbing, costume parties, and Oliver being a fucking tease.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: drinking/intoxication/drug use

A/N: 3148 words. now we're cooking with gas, folks! i might be too sleepy for a real author's note, but just know, as always, its unedited and i love you. have fun, please let me know what you think!

TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)

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"Can I be bold for a minute?" On the roof of one of the dorm buildings, you and Oliver are waiting for Felix. It's twilight, the sky painted lavender by the setting sun and encroaching night, and everything feels a little dreamy.

"If anyone would appreciate boldness, Ollie, it's me," you tell him blithely around the cigarette you're trying to light. Still, he's quiet for this one moment, watching the way you cup your hand around the little flame to shield it from the wind.

"How did you and Farleigh ever get so close, considering how he treats you?"

You're pretty sure you know why he's asking you, considering what few interactions he'd witnessed between yourself and Farleigh, but it's still unexpected coming from him. For a moment, your gaze flicks to him, eyes narrowed, not quite sure what to make of the interaction. When your gaze meets his, he's looking at you with that intent, inquisitive look he got in moments like these, moments he seemed to fish for information without seeming like that was what he was doing. The silence and look that you level at him seem to throw him off guard, and immediately he drops his gaze to his feet, swinging off the edge of the building.

"That is bold," you finally settle on, watching Oliver fidget. His ankles cross, his shoulders slump; again he makes himself as small as possible. You deliberately make your tone lighter when you continue, "what's got you worried 'bout me an Farleigh?"

"I mean, all I'm saying is that he was being nasty to you, but now you're both kind of acting like he wasn't."

It's true; since his apology that Sunday morning Farleigh had been keeping his word about not being too bitter about Oliver to or even around you and Felix. You, in turn, made a special effort to spend time with him, pay him attention, made him feel like your priority on occasion. Both you and Farleigh were well aware of what you were doing, but he always enjoyed your company and attention, so it wasn't like he was going to complain.

"Farleigh and I understand each other."

"He slept with your girlfriend."

"India's not my girlfriend."

"He- he keeps calling you a dog."

That hit a nerve. You hadn't realised he was paying attention to that back at the pub. You swallow hard and look out at the horizon.

"And?" Raising the cigarette to your lips again, you don't look at him as you take a very long drag on it, "there are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy," you breathe out with the smoke.

"Doesn't seem like the way friends should talk about each other is all," Oliver says quietly, notes of apology in his voice; you can see him looking at you again out of the corner of your eye.

"Best friend, actually," you finally sigh, letting the tension drop from your shoulders and the moment. As you look at him over your shoulder, you give a faint smile in the face of his confusion, "we've known each other long enough that we can say pretty much anything we want to each other. Only problem is that Farleigh knows that pushing my buttons also pushes Fi's buttons, which is why he does it so often. He's a shit-stirrer, but you haven't known us long enough to know he doesn't really mean it," you tell him with surprising fondness in your voice.

"I'm sorry for prying," Oliver says earnestly, and you smile wider.

"I'm sorry for being so defensive; I realise how it must look from the outside."

Before anything else can be said, the door to the roof bursts open, and Felix greets you both with a hundred-watt smile and a packet of fish and chips in his hands. You descend on him like a seagull, swapping your cigarette for the hot food, tearing into the paper wrapping and settling by the wall at the edge of the roof near Oliver once more.

There's a beat where Felix is watching you and Oliver, his smile soft and fond and endeared, but there's something in his eyes that's been there since that lunched they'd shared at the pub -

"I shouldn't say -" there's a lot of things Felix shouldn't do that he does anyways. Considering his wealth, he could get away with a lack of self control, "I just genuinely didn't know, I mean I might have guessed- did you know?"

"Know what, Fi?" You're still in his bed, bleary-eyed and desperately wanting to go back to sleep when he'd come back from the pub buzzing instead of tired, as he'd predicted.

He'd spent the better part of the afternoon with his head on your chest, explaining the almost Dickensian tragedy that was Oliver's life. Sure you were listening, but you didn't have much to contribute other than faint noises of interest while your fingers carded through his hair.

There's something about the way Felix recounts all this information to you, the way he finds it salacious and heart-breaking all in one. You can hear in his voice that he'd captivated, that he's endeared by the struggle that has followed Oliver throughout his life. As much as you loved him, you'd watched time and again the way he'd fall for tragic tales and the people who'd recount them; Felix had a saviour complex, and it was the only thing the two of you had ever fought about.

Last year it had been Eddie, the worst of the bunch so far. Like Oliver but in the opposite direction; too much, too loud, too confident to hide his ugly secrets and desperation to be wanted. Eddie had been Icarus, taking for granted the wax wings Felix had given him, the good life, attention, a comrade who almost understood him. But he'd played with fire, played with Venetia too many times, and the wax wings melted. Not that you'd cared; you were the one who spotted them, you were the one that told Farleigh, you were the one who listened to Felix's furious rants every few days for the rest of that Summer. You'd never liked Eddie like Felix liked Eddie.

Oliver was different. You wondered if he was different enough.

Still, as much as you liked Oliver you could see it in Felix's eyes, hear it in his voice; he was already getting himself addicted to the idea of how much better he could make Oliver's life. But Felix had hated it the last time you'd pointed something like that out.

("Then why the fuck would I keep you around? Maybe it's because I don't pick my friends based on whether they're charity cases!")

So you keep your mouth shut. Maybe it's worth it for the way Felix smiles -

"I don't -" Oliver's fidgeting when Felix asks him to tag along to a costume party, "have anything to wear, really," he admits. Immediately Felix is offering to let him borrow something. There's a flicker that looks almost hungry in Oliver's eyes amid the gratefulness, and you wonder if he knows how many people would kill to get into Felix's pants. Still, he's humble, "you don't have to do that."

"I don't have to do anything," Felix shrugs with the easiest smile in the world. Then, in the next sentence, completely glossing over the act of kindness he looks at you, "tell me you aren't still expecting Farleigh to commit to that devil costume with you."

"He told me he'd put effort in this year -"

"He tells you that every year," Felix laughs, and you lean into Oliver's shoulder to explain.

"Me and Farleigh always organise to go to one costume party per year as an angel and a devil -"

"And every year," Felix rolls his eyes with a good-natured exasperation, "Farleigh wears some vulgar t-shirt and two party hats for horns, while Y/N puts weeks of effort in and wins best dressed every time-"

"Not every time," you protested, while Oliver looked faintly impressed, leaning back against you too.

"The only times you haven't won best dressed was if there was no competition to win," Felix points out, before looking past you to Oliver with an amused smile, "so I can't promise you a Y/N-level of costume, but it'll be more than two party hats."

"If you wanna give me two party hats, I'll wear 'em," Oliver says, hands coming up as if to placate the both of you. Instead, you grin wider, throwing an arm around his shoulders.

"We'll make you all pretty, Ollie, don't worry."

Unsurprisingly, on the night of the party, Farleigh showed up to 'get ready' at your dorm, which meant him lazing on your bed, drinking and sharing his coke with you while you put arguably too much effort into your makeup. He, of course, is wearing two party hats, and t-shirt that simply says 'EASY', and though you pretend to be annoyed for all of five minutes, he gives a shit eating grin as you chew him out.

"Fool you once, shame on me, sure; fool you six times, that's on you, Y/N."

You flipped him off with a grin.

"There they are!" India cheers from the sofas where your other friends are gathered when you arrive to the party. Farleigh, on your arm, makes a show of his entrance, "not you, Farleigh, obviously." India rolls her eyes, but thankfully Farleigh wasn't too put out. Instead, he swans towards the group to claim a seat.

"Give us a spin, angel," Annabel insists with a coy smile, and you oblige her to the whistles and cheers of the rest of your friends.

"You outdo yourself," Felix told you fondly as you dropped into a beanbag by the sofa he and Oliver had been occupying.

Felix is looking at you, that kind of dangerous look when he thinks you're especially hot and there's only a thirty percent chance that the two of you will even make it to a dark corner. For just a moment, however, your gaze flicks to Oliver, by his side, and he's watching Felix too, absolutely rapt by the way your best friend looks at you.

"Only in comparison to Farleigh," you shake your head, forcing yourself to be Felix's self restraint, especially so early in the night, "besides, look at you; you've certainly grown into this since I last saw you try it on," and you leaned forward as best you could, looking across the circle of friends to the pretty, redhead in the slinky nurse outfit, "how fucking good does Felix look, Annabel?" You ask pointedly, and you can see Felix give a restrained chuckle before turning his attention to his own not-girlfriend, who seemed glad for the chance to gush about him.

Sitting back, you chance a glance once more at Oliver, and somehow aren't surprised to see him looking back at you. All you do is smirk, well aware of what you were doing.

Felix's clothes are too big on Oliver. The costume, though you're not exactly sure what he's meant to be, kind of wears him instead of the other way around. Felix, of course, looks all kinds of gorgeous as a police officer, while Oliver looked rather like he's wearing his big brother's hand-me-downs. But he's rolls up the sleeves and always looks up at Felix with these blue, doe eyes shining with gratefulness, and no-one else cares enough to comment either way.

You wonder if anyone else has noticed, the way Oliver's personality changes with his focus. It's not in large ways, perhaps others think its like a trick of the light, but the way he looks at others, the way he behaves, it seems to vary from person to person. Tactile, distant, closed off, hesitant, open, honest, warm, skittish, never truly the same with each individual. It's like he watches, figures out what people want to hear, what they want from him, and does his best to give it to them. It's almost painfully familiar.

Oliver gives Felix what he wants in a way you know you never can; Oliver gives him someone to help, someone to feel like he's saving. As long as Felix is happy, you tell yourself, that is enough, and it's easy to like Oliver in your own way. The only problem you've found is that as much as you like Oliver, as intrigued as you are by him, you can't quite get a read on him, what he wants, what your place may be in his life. He's always watching, always searching for something, but you're never sure of what.

So you decide to show him love, show him appreciation the way you know best.

More and more you choose to stay by his side when you're all out, at the pub, at clubs, either of you are not with Felix, or if you're not otherwise occupied by someone requesting your attention, you'll be with Oliver.

Tonight, at the club, a girl from town had been occupying Felix's personal space for the better part of an hour, and by the time he has her against a wall down a dark corridor, Oliver's absconded from the dance floor to get another drink, but hasn't returned. You find him skulking against a wall, half drunk pint in his hand, gazing out through the crowd. When you join him, when you follow his gaze, you can see the silhouette of Felix and the girl, his hand up her shirt through the haze.

"It doesn't bother you?" Oliver asks, loud enough to be heard over the music, but not by anyone else.

"The girls don't bother me," an easy, languid smile spreads across your face, "the girls love me," you amend, smile turning a little smug as you watch Felix and the girl whose name you can't even been be bothered to recall.

"Felix's girls?* Ever-hesitant Oliver, even here and now, sounds carefully demure amongst his curiosity, "do you -?" He makes an awkward gesture, but you read his intentions and laugh dismissively.

"No, no... well," you pause for a moment, "occasionally I have my fun, I suppose, but not like that; girls who are into Felix aren't traditionally into me like that, no," you shake your head with an an missed smile, "but that's why they like me, I'm not a threat, see?"

Even through the haze and flashing lights, you can see Felix's hands on the girl; he's warm and rough and the way he holds always feels so fucking secure -

Looking away sharply, you're surprised by how intently Oliver's watching you. Its genuinely startling, and though he seems to understand this but doesn't look away. For just a moment your breathless, caught up in the night and the jealousy and want for your best friend that you usually have much more control over - your own words echo in your head; I'm not a threat, see? A smug lie, a joke at all those poor girl's expenses since you knew they were never going to last.

Oliver's gaze burns when you finally look him squarely in the eyes; he knows.

"I get the impression people assume a great many things about our Felix," he wets his lips, casting his gaze to darkened hallway, to where you had seen Felix with his mouth on the neck of his girl of the night, but you can't look away from him. Our Felix. "And about you."

"And you?" Your tongue darts out, wetting you lips as you draw Oliver's attention back to you, tone flirty. There's something exhilarating about this man that you can't help but want to tease out.

"Not much to assume," he gives a faint smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes, "I'm more the observant type than one whose observed."

"You make the assumptions."

"I make the assumptions," he actually smirks, a bit of that usual gentle hesitation that he approached the world with slipping for just a moment.

"And?"

"And what?"

"Do you have a lot of assumptions about Our Felix?" You tease his earlier wording, but once again his gaze drifts to your best friend, if he still is in the crowd. Them, quieter, almost as if you don't mean to you murmur, "or me?"

"Had."

"Had?"

"Had a lot of assumptions," there's a kind of mischief in his eyes as his tone takes on an air of nonchalance, "'bout him, 'bout you too." As he speaks, you step towards him, hand on his arm, moving steadily higher. He can feel it, you know he can, but all he does is smile wider, refusing to break your gaze.

"Like what, Oliver Quick?"

Leaning in, Oliver takes your face in his hands, bringing you close, sharing breath, lips inches from his.

"Like how they write Odysseys about your kind of loyalty," he mumbled, and you feel like his gaze alone could swallow you whole. There's a aching, yearning that you feel in this moment, when you crush your lips to his. It's quick and desperate, and he pulls back, "like how you show love with every fuckin' bit of that body of yours," this time he pulls you in and it's rougher, it's needy, he bites at your lip and you whimper against his mouth, press yourself against him, "like-" he kisses you quickly, "like- like-" but as you find yourself trailing rough kisses down his jaw, he seems to lose his train of thought.

"Yes?" You prompt with a laugh.

"Like how you're desperate to feel needed."

"Observant," you tell him softly, raising your head, arms still around him. In this moment, his expression is open, watching you, waiting for you to react, "more observant than anyone else."

"You wear it on your sleeve, sweetheart," he says bluntly, but something about being seen, about his unwavering honesty, that sets your heart beating, burning in your chest. Or perhaps it's that he called you sweetheart; it's rare that someone is so sweet to you.

"Then need me, want me."

"I do," this time when he kisses you, it's gentle, full of warmth and unexpected love, and the way he holds you close makes you feel so precious and desired at once, "but not like this, not now." And he's letting you go, despite the way your lips tingle and the damn butterflies in your stomach. You desperately want to cling to him, to ask him what the fuck he means, but he kisses you on the forehead and tells you to get back safe, wearing an almost smug, knowing smile, disappearing into the crowd. You can't even go after him, he's made you damn weak in the knees and all you can do is lean against the wall for support.

Felix and his girl have disappeared.

Your friends are still living it up on the dance floor, you're sure, but you have only one thought on your mind.

Oliver Quick is a fucking tease.

#felix catton x reader x oliver quick #saltburn x reader #felix catton x reader #saltburn imagine #felix catton imagine #felix catton x y/n #felix catton x you #oliver quick x reader #head heart hand fic #oliver quick x you #oliver quick imagine #manic writer

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theologiedansleboudoir · 2 months

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“She was made for untidy rooms and rumpled beds.”

―Alexander McCall Smith, The Sunday Philosophy Club

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oathkeeperoxas · 9 months

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TOP GUN / Icemav fic recs part 4

Hello my fellow icemav enjoyers, I bring to you more fic recs, freshly harvested from the local fields. If I list an author below, I also recommend checking out their profile for their other works as well!

Rec list 1 here

Rec list 2 here

Rec list 3 here

Where Are You Going by @adiduck

They’ve both heard all the philosophical bullshit, of course. Poems about your soul forever seeking its other half, impassioned treatises they were supposed to read in high school English about how you know where your own limbs are, quotes from long-dead guys about physical distance but hearts taking up the same space--that kind of bullshit. Maverick never put much stock in that kind of thing--he’d hated school. It probably shouldn’t have been surprising that Ice also really did not care about the science or philosophy--they were supposed to be perfect for each other, after all. (Or: There’s a handshake in the O Club the first night of Top Gun, and the very bearing of “magnetic North” shifts permanently under Ice and Mav’s feet)

Soulmate AU!!!!! This is so cleverly put together, the worldbuilding details are delicious and so very excellent, and the characterisation is on point. A very fun and enjoyable read 💖

Polaroid Picture by @betanoiz

man, we used to be brothers. superheroes and warriors. - The story of Maverick and the important relationships in his life, as told through photos.

The author plays with form through the use of pictures in this fic, using them to broaden the story and really show the character's relationships with each other. A very soft landing that hits all the right notes.

Ever Higher by @astolat

Maybe he wouldn’t have thought of it on his own, but soon as he’d heard about it—well, it was fucking obvious, wasn’t it? There was no other way to keep climbing.

I read this the first time, had to sleep on it, then come back to digest it properly. The author fits so much into every single sentence - the plot and the reveal hit you straight to the chest, no room to avoid it.

Mach 4 Mile High Club by @topgunreacts

In a civilian bar off base, Ice finds half-price drinks, trivia, and Maverick. The drinks he's expecting. The trivia he can handle. He isn't ready for Maverick.

This is just pure fun!! The back and forth between Ice and Mav builds deliciously throughout the story, the smut is top tier, and the finale lands just perfectly.

that’s what i love (about sunday) by @gracedbybattle

For the past few years, Ice has gotten used to the silence. But their house isn’t so quiet anymore.

Established icemav and the daggers can be so so good actually!! The domestic fluff here hits all the right notes.

Decent by @lambourngb

Ice was aware of the old adage, 'Don't Judge a Book By Its Cover', but he had seen Maverick fly, and now that they were teaching together, he was pretty sure he had Mav figured out. There were lots of reasons for Mav to be insanely confident; he had movie star looks, he had gifted hand-eye coordination in the sky, and he had no discernible shame trigger. Turns out, probably all of that was true, but Mav had one more reason for his swagger.

I have been converted to the Mav has a big cock agenda. Enough said.

Take the Long Way by @kerbyfullyloaded

Five times Iceman tried to get Maverick to come home and the one time he finally did.

This and it's sequel are so full of satisfying emotion - this author has such an excellent voice for the characters and it very much comes through in the prose!

Centrifugal Motion (Perpetual Bliss) by @brendaonao3

A month after the DADT repeal goes into effect, Ice finally gathers the courage to tell Mav he wants another chance.

The pining! The second chances! The yearning that threads its way through this, oh... so very soft and good 🥺

A Box of Love by @film-in-my-soul

It's black and embossed, a medium-sized thing with a careful label facing outward— Wedding, 2014. Jackpot.

Married icemav my beloved. The established relationship is written so tenderly and well, with an understanding between the two of them that I hold very close to my heart

#icemav #maverick #iceman #top gun #rec list #fic rec #tg #soooo many excellent fics in this fandom... i am being fed so well

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aesthetic-is-life · 4 months

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GOM Headcanon

Kise

He has very dry skin. He follows his skin care religiously

He has both a huge prize AND degredation kink.

Every thursday he goes to Caribbean dances and has a regular partner for the bachata

He got a degree in something with fashion and marketing. Still working as a model and influencer during the college years.

After he goes works with his sisters in their fashion company

He and Midorima fucked few times between the Teiko and the High school

He's a little bit of a whore (especially at the club half drunk)

Absolutely adores to give orals. Yes let me suck you off sir please

Very good at it

Had a huge crush for Aomine during Teiko, but nothing happened

His romantic relationship never last long (monogamy problem)

He is poly

Feels trapped in a monogamous relationship

Very closed to his sister in the adult age

Vegetarian (vegan at home)

Has a little tattoo for each miracles (like a frog for Midorima, a cherry flower for Momoi..)

Akashi

Lactose intollerant

Aroace King (kise told him about ace people and Midorima confirmed the existence)

Degree in philosophy

Sojio professional player just for saying he has a job (not really need one)

After the winter cup he had pretty bad episodes of depression and eaten alive from his guilt.

But with the power of friendship (Mibuchi had called the miracles for and intervention) and therapy he got better

He would need a heavy session of consensual BDSM (he subs)

He and his dad ignore each other basically

Didn't took well the death of his horse, and after that doesn't want any more pets

He and Midorima suggest books each other

Doesn't drink, but can handle alcool pretty good

He play golf with the mother side of the family

Totally an addicted to

Only the Gom knows that he was diagnoed DID (dissocative identity disorder)

He would be a perfect menwife

Doesn't like to drive

Midorima

Doctor bccouse his daddy told him to

He and Takao got married at some point

His best man was Akashi

His dad was kind of homophobic, but had a change of heart

For each birthday he does the the natal chart of all the Gom + takao and Kagami

Can't hendle alcool (no at all, like half beer and he is WASTED)

Takao is an architect and he designed their house

Doesn't talk before his coffe

Morning person (after the coffe), Takao is not

Still listen to the oroscop every morning and brings the luck item (Takao is forced to have his too)

Has a thing for dirt talk (Takao doesn't complaint)

Still play piano and composes song for Takao

Would like to have a kid or two

Rei Ryugazaki (from free!) are cousins

Every sunday the have a lunch with the over miracles in their home

Aomine

His career in the NBA (because yes he entred) has benn pretty short for injuries

so he come back in Japan and makes the delivery for the flower/ plant shop of Sakurai.

in the US he and kagami lived togher, but they were in diffrent teams

He adoped a dog he found on the side of a road

Really like beers of all kind and flavors

Decent cook

He and Kuroko fucked everywhere in Teiko. But like everywhere, not corridor, bathroom, storege room or class was safe (they enjoyed)

He and Kagami had drunk and angry sex in the US times

Prefers women (boobs)

As an adult he went to therapy and understood what was wrong during the last years in middle school (depression time)

He and Momoi are big fan of horror movies

Very warm person

Can't stand gloves

Kuroko

Cold hands

He and Kagami moved in together, but neither of them belives in marriege

Kuroko would love a cat, but Kagami is allergic

He works in a kindergarten

and come home full of drawings of the kids

Doesn't want to have children though

Exhibitionist kink

Having sex is a park in the middle of the night

Kagami usually cooks and he drives

Brings his kindle everywhere with him

He smokes a little (like two or three cigarette per day)

Murasakibara

Chronic back pain and at the joint because he grew up too fast

Acne and bad skin in general because he eats to much chocolate and sweets in general

Became a pastry chef

He, Himuro and Kagami opened a nice coffe shop

The type with cultural events, book crossing and stuff

Doesn't really like having sex. He finds it really tiring

He and Himuro have an open relationship

Ass eater king. Not a big fan of penetrative sex because he dosent't want to hurt Himuro with his huge cock.

Has a little aquarium and adores stares at the fish

Can't swim

He got diabetes at some point

Momoi

She got a degree in statistic and after a very high paid job

When Baribe went out, she and Kise went all pink

In her highshool years she did something with some girls, but she found it pretty wet. Prefers small and cute boys

Seirously considering breast reduction surgey

She and Sakurai are together

They have an adorable little dog

When Aomine was in US they used to videocall every fucking day

She and Kise are the queens of gossip

Never had smth physical with Kuroko

Very good at videgames (had a youtube chanal)

especially the shooting ones

Wears high heels at work

Adores cherry

Allergic to something stupid like kiwi or apple

During college she made a lot of female friends

Pretty dominant in bed

Good at drawing

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elonomhblog · 25 days

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march reflections (2024)

writing monthly reflections is a habit that i am proud of, and i am always excited when it reaches the end of the month so that i can reflect on what i have learnt and how i have grown.

achievements of march: 1. i completed my first exam block and emerged with fairly good grades (a, a, c, b, a, b) 2. completed my longest hike so far-- 22km! 3. started this tumblr account

goals of march: ~ to be more aligned with my higher self!! ~ to try and stay in more of an abundance mindset ~ to join another club i think i've achieved my goals well this month. they're not measurable goals but as proof, i can select actions i made in the last months that reflect these goals. for example, i was much more aligned with my higher self in the fact that i have been consistent with my training and going to school. i know that my higher self would never skip school because 'she wasn't feeling like it'. i have been much more in an abundance mindset--choosing to invest in myself and treat myself, because i know that the money will flow right back to me. i had a goal to join another club,, but i was unable to complete this goal. some clubs i might join include philosophy or spanish club. since hugo is leaving school, i'm not sure i will do philosophy (since he was the one who invited me). i guess i'll carry on this goal, and we'll see where it takes us.

journal prompts about march (going into april): 1. what drained my energy? ~ not having a good system in exam block really drained my energy, and i struggled to get back into routine afterwards. i can improve this by building better exam block systems. ~ separating myself from my extroverted tendencies caused me to feel SO lonely. i need to put myself more out there and talk with people even if i am on a date with myself (it could be as little as someone in the grocery line). i CANNOT ignore these tendencies, it's who i am just as much as gem and mehrnaz are introverted.

2. what are my intentions for this month? ~ my intentions for april are to learn more about myself through journaling, solo-dating and exploring. i'd like to keep aligning with high-vibration behaviors. ~ i'd also like to bring out my creative side a bit more,, fostering it through this tumblr account and my storyvillage account. i believe that this will help me to discover myself.

3. what goals do i have for myself this month? ~ two solo-dates (as always) and setting my intentions before the date. ~ join another club (i'm continuing to work on this goal, since i did not complete it last month) ~ spanish study EVERY DAY ~ daily posts😉

4. what will i do to achieve these goals? ~ have a positive, abundant mindset ~ write and hang up these goals in my room so that i am reminded of them ~ record that i study spanish each day in a habit tracker,, or on a private post

significant events april: 1. school break (until april 14) 2. mum and dads wedding anniversary 3. hellfire pass training

training april: (by week): ~ monday, upper body session ~ tuesday, lower body session ~ wednesday, active recovery ~ thursday, lower body session ~ friday, upper body session ~ saturday, varied training hikes or active recovery ~ sunday, active recovery

(images are from pinterest)

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olderthannetfic · 1 year

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I was thinking today that while returning to smaller communities for socials is probably better overall, doesn’t it run into the issue of echo chambers worse than our current big 3? Or is it a case of echo chambers can be harder to develop if you’re not constantly running into arguments/trolls that rile up emotions and make thinking through things harder? I know some cult tactics include deliberately running members into hostile outsiders to increase reliance on the in group… idk dumb thoughts.

Most social spaces are something of an echo chamber.

People out at Sunday brunch with their besties aren't encountering wildly new ideas. People at your chess club are challenging you to a game, not on philosophy in most cases.

This is how normal socializing works.

Will some discord server of 20 people with the same headcanons make those same people dumber about commenting on other people's AO3 fic going "But what about [my server's dumb fanon]???" Yeah, sure, maybe. But I don't find this to be especially important, nor is it a sign of an unhealthy high control group/cult situation.

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milfzatannaz · 13 days

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I’m finally ready to post about what’s been going on, because I’ve reached a sense of normalcy and I’ve done a lot of processing. You guys don’t have to reblog, I’m expressing this purely for my own benefit.

Sunday night a friend of mine, Basil, committed suicide by jumping off the parking tower by the freshmen dorms. Usually I’d use vague language, but this circumstance needs transparency. I cannot downplay the circumstances of his death.

Basil was in philosophy club and our LGBT alliance with me. Basil was beautiful, with black hair in a haircut I always admired. Basil had lots of flannel shirts and I’ll always remember that about them. Basil loved his art, he loved his major, he was funny and his presence in the room was distinct. One of the last times we spoke was when he presented what movie the philosophy club should watch. Basil is dearly missed.

This pain is being compounded by the fact that my university is fucking failing us. We got (1) email that did not disclose any details about their death. No emergency alert was issued. I have people I know who saw the body. That’s atrocious. There is not any words in the human language to express the anguish I’ve felt and witnessed in a four day span. Basil named their rapists in his final Instagram post, and I’m not even sure the university is taking action.

I am hurting, I am oscillating between craving normalcy and wanting to crawl into bed forever. I miss them. I miss my friends. This has taken away our laughter and our ability to simply be college students because the brunt of the community support has fallen onto us. We are scared, we feel defeated, and it is so hard to focus on missing Basil when we have to scream at the Dean of Students to hear us.

I’m so sorry, Basil, my love. You were, and are, cherished. Your friends are trying so hard to prevent this from happening again, and we all miss you. I’m sorry baby. I hope you are resting.

#suicide mention #yeah. uhhhh yeah.#I miss your voice basil I miss you

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araekniarchive · 2 years

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hello, can i request something about city living, if you haven't already done it yet? love your webs <3

Italo Calvino, Invisible Cities

Ed Sheeran, The City

Noor Unnahar, New Names for Lost Things; ‘Return’

The Great Gatsby (2013) dir. Baz Luhrmann

J. G. Ballard, High-Rise

Alexander McCall-Smith, The Sunday Philosophy Club

Olivia Laing, The Lonely City (via The Guardian)

Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

Christopher Morley, Where the Blue Begins

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school-of-all-time · 11 months

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Qualifying Rounds

After 851 submissions and 346 total schools, submissions are now officially closed. The bracket rounds will consist of 256 schools. All schools that got two or more submissions are guaranteed a place in the bracket rounds. Schools that got only one submission will have to go through qualifying rounds to get to the brackets. There are 214 schools with only one nomination, and 125 available spots in the bracket. Following the qualifiers, schools will be seeded according to the number of submissions they received.

Qualifiers will consist of 43 polls, with each poll containing five possible schools. The polls were created using a randomizer. The two schools with the most votes will immediately advance to the bracket round. The school with the third most votes has a good chance of advancing as well, but not guaranteed. There are 38 spots available for the 43 third place winners. Thus, I'll be eliminating the 4 third place winners with the least number of votes (numbers as opposed to percentages).

(I know this all seems very convoluted, but I am an English major trying to do math, this is about as well as it was ever going to go.)

I'll be posting six polls a day (except for the last day where I'll be spicing it up by posting seven!) Below the cut you can see which polls will be posted each day. If the school you submitted doesn't appear in the qualifiers, then congratulations, that means it got two or more votes and has immediately advanced to the bracket stage.

Saturday:

Poll 1: Neptune High (Veronica Mars); St. Claire’s Boarding School (St. Claire’s); Ashford Academy (Code Geass); Miyamasuzaka Girls Academy (Project Sekai); X Middle School (Fillmore!)

Poll 2: The Elgen Academy of Pasadena (Michael Vey), The Magaambya (Pathfinder 2E: The Strength of Thousands Adventure Path), Karakura High School (Bleach), The Derek Zoolander Center for Kids Who Can't Read Good and Who Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too (Zoolander), Magic School (Mahou Tsukai Precure)

Poll 3: Tanz Academy (Suspiria), Jade Mountain Academy (Wings of Fire), Seisho Academy (Revue Starlight), Drearcliff Grange School (Drearcliff Grange School), Blue Heron Institute (Pale)

Poll 4: Budo-ga Oka Middle & High School (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure), Furinkan High (Ranma ½), Malory Towers (Malory Towers), The Guild School (The Monster in the Hollows), Ericson's Boarding School (The Walking Dead: The Telltale Series)

Poll 5: Hemery High (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), The Academy of Unseen Arts (The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Discipline Cottage (Circle of Magic), Lawndale High (Daria), Shiratorizawa Academy (Haikyuu!!)

Poll 6: Beekman College Center (Flowers for Algernon), Happy Harbor High (Young Justice), King's Dominion (Deadly Class), Brooklyn House (The Kane Chronicles), Raimon School (Inazuma Eleven)

Sunday:

Poll 1: Wammy House (Death Note), Elite Way School (Rebelde Way), Strange Hill High (Strange Hill High), Westbridge High (Sabrina the Teenage Witch), Namimori Middle School (Katekyo Hitman Reborn!)

Poll 2: Yokai Academy (Rosario + Vampire), The School in the Sky (Dragon Tales), P.S. 118 (Hey Arnold), A. Nigma High (Detentionaire), Themis Legal Academy (Ace Attorney)

Poll 3: Cat School (Cat School Worldwide Angkor Wat Secret), Harding-Pencroft Academy (Daughter of the Deep), S.H.I.E.L.D. Academy (Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.), ACDC town Elementary (MegaMan Battle Network), Boring High (Everything Sucks!)

Poll 4: Welton Academy (Dead Poets Society), Miss Robichaux's Academy (American Horror Story), New Rome University (The Heroes of Olympus), Lanford High School (Roseanne), Shinonome Academy (Dream!ing)

Poll 5: Sinegard Academy (The Poppy War), Haunted High (Monster High), Mars University (Futurama), The Academy of Natural Philosophy (Dishonored), Akademi (Yandere Simulator)

Poll 6: Club Penguin University (Club Penguin), The Professor's School (La Casa de Papel / Money Heist), Seirin High School (Kuroko no Basuke), Sanshu Middle School (Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero), Kamiyama High School (Project Sekai)

Monday:

Poll 1: PK Academy (Saiki Kusuo no Sai Nan), Third Street School (Recess), St. Joseph's Prep (It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia), Flashburn's School of Swordfighting (How to Steal a Dragon's Sword), Salt Middle School (Mob Psycho 100)

Poll 2: Wildcliff, School of the Arcane (Trials and Trebuchets), Mugen Academy (Sailor Moon), Video Game High School (Video Game High School) St. Olga's Reform School for Wayward Princesses (Star vs. the Forces of Evil), Edgar Allen University (All for the Game)

Poll 3: Austere Academy (A Series of Unfortunate Events), Roman Academy (Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun), Fukurōdani Academy (Haikyuu!!), Bayfield University (Happy Death Day), School House (Over the Garden Wall)

Poll 4: Strumlotts (BomBarded Podcast), John Adams High School (Boy Meets World), Easton Magic Academy (Mashle: Magic and Muscles), North High (The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya), You Show Duel School (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V)

Poll 5: Shirahamazaka High (Tari Tari), City College (Community), Itan Private High School (Komi Can't Communicate), Uranohoshi Girl's High School (Love Live Sunshine), Cackles Academy (The Worst Witch)

Poll 6: Royal Academy of Diavolo (Obey Me), Et Fran de Muse Academy (Fairy Ranmaru), Yancy Academy (Percy Jackson and the Olympians), San Dimas High (Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure), Academia (Yu-Gi-Oh! ARC-V)

Tuesday:

Poll 1: Galaxy Garrison (Voltron: Legendary Defender), Echo Creek Academy (Star vs. the Forces of Evil), Alice Academy (Gakuen Alice), Awakened Academy (Eleceed Webtoon), School of Friendship (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic)

Poll 2: Point Blanc (Alex Rider), Spy School (Spy School), The School (Sparkle on Raven: The Life of Drillgirl), Deepdean (Murder Most Unladylike), Coolsville High School (Scooby Doo)

Poll 3: Barden University (Pitch Perfect), Ella Mentry Elementary (My Weird School), Inkblot Art Academy (Splatoon), Land of Departure (Kingdom Hearts), J.P. Wynne High School (Breaking Bad)

Poll 4: Shuchiin Academy (Kaguya-sama: Love Is War), Oxenfurt Academy (The Witcher), Chamberlain High (Carrie), Gallagher Academy (Gallagher Girls), The Fire Nation Academy for Girls (Avatar the Last Airbender)

Poll 5: Royal Academy (Ascendance of a Bookworm), Wu’s Academy (Lego Ninjago), Glasshouse Primary School (Bluey), Starlight Academy (Aikatsu), Clyde Nite’s Night Knight School (The Adventure Zone: Graduation)

Poll 6: Wellston Private High School (UnOrdinary), Princess Charm School (Barbie Princess Charm School), Avengers Academy (Marvel Comics), Phoenix Drop High (My Street: Phoenix Drop High), Bullworth Academy (Bully)

Wednesday:

Poll 1: Baxter High (The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina), Sakuragaoka High (K-ON!), Ayanagi Academy (Starmyu), Pacific Coast Academy (Zoey 101), Ridgeway Junior High (iCarly)

Poll 2: Hillerska Boarding School (Young Royals), Chalet School (Chalet School), Groosham Grange (Groosham Grange), Kinzville Academy (Webkinz), Gravity Falls High School (Gravity Falls)

Poll 3: Doki Doki High (Doki Doki Literature Club), Massachusetts Academy (Marvel Comics), Tremorton High (My Life as a Teenage Robot), Clone High (Clone High), St. Vladimir's Academy (Vampire Academy)

Poll 4: Brookhants School for Girls (Plain Bad Heroines), Atlasdam Royal Academy (Octopath Traveler), Ikenfell (Ikenfell), Knight Academy (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword), Whitechapel High (My Babysitter's a Vampire)

Poll 5: Crystal Cove High (Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated), The University of What It Is (Welcome to Night Vale), Bayside High (Saved by the Bell 2019), Assassins’ Guild (Discworld), Webster High (A.N.T. Farm)

Poll 6: Cherryton Academy (BEASTARS), Wunsoc (Nevermoor), Kamome Academy (Toilet Bound Hanako-kun), Charles Darwin Middle School (My Gym Partner is a Monkey), The Borderlands (In Other Lands)

Thursday:

Poll 1: Lydian Private Music Academy (Symphogear), Vincent Clortho Public School for Wizards (Key & Peele), Strixhaven School for Mages (Magic: The Gathering), BL University (Zettai BL ni Naru Sekai VS Zettai BL ni Naritakunai Otoko) The Fire Nation school from "The Headband" (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Poll 2: Seiyo Academy (Shugo Chara), St. Pigeonations (Hateful Boyfriend), Hudson University (Law and Order), Yoba Academy (D4DJ), Forks High (Twilight)

Poll 3: New Mushroomton High (Onward), San Fransokyo Institute of Technology (Big Hero 6), H.I.V.E. (H.I.V.E.), Skolala Refujeyo (Curse Words), Warren University (Bunny)

Poll 4: North Shore High (Mean Girls), Ridgemont High (Fast Times at Ridgemont High), Winding Circle Temple (Circle of Magic), The University (The Kingkiller Chronicles), Spooky Academy (Monster Prom

Poll 5: Ban Ard (The Witcher), Magnostadt Academy (Magi), Blades Academy (Blades and Magic), Bronson Alcott High (Clueless), Moroboshi High (Megaranger)

Poll 6: CHERUB Campus (CHERUB), Haven Academy (RWBY), Nockfell High (Sallyface), Megurigaoka Private High School (School-Live!), Spenser Academy (The Covenant)

Friday:

Poll 1: Nekoma High (Haikyuu!!), Witch University (Return to Halloweentown), Stokely Grammar School (Young Dracula), Atlas Academy (RWBY), Crypt Grammar School for Orphans (Team Fortress 2)

Poll 2: Flying Rhino Junior High (Flying Rhino Junior High), Mayview Middle School (Paranatural), Miskatonic University (Lovecraft), Schoolhouse Rock (Schoolhouse Rock!), Aretuza (The Witcher)

Poll 3: James Buchanan High School (Welcome Back Kotter), St. Freya Academy (St. Freya Academy), James K. Polk Middle School (Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide), Split River High School (School Spirits), La Fiesta Tech (The Sims 2: University)

Poll 4: Konoha's Ninja Academy (Naruto), Suppalo (The Eclipse), Worm College (Adventure Time), Harper Hall (Dragonsinger), Yomiyama North Middle School (Another)

Poll 5: Totsuki Culinary Academy (Shokugeki no Soma), Shermer High (The Breakfast Club), Sycamore High School (The Hatchetfield Series), Creekwood High School (Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda), Dotheboys Hall (Nicholas Nickleby)

Poll 6: Lily Piper University (Musical Pipers Webtoon), North High (Malcolm In The Middle), Nevermore Academy (Nevermore Webtoon), Royale High (Roblox), Moperville South High (El Goonish Shive)

Poll 7: Saotome Academy (Uta no Prince-sama), Eleanor West's School for Wayward Children (The Wayward Children), Springfield Elementary (The Simpsons), Jae Won High (Lookism Webtoon), American Eagle Christian High School (Saved!)

#polls #tumblr polls #bracket tournament

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novice-notes · 9 months

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06/08/23 9:10pm

I took this photo on my way home from the campus library last week. Although I live off campus I find that studying at the library helps with productivity. Campus at night has a calm energy which is pretty insane considering the clubs are just a few streets away.

Today is Sunday, so I took the day off with my partner since we're both sick. Watched the footy game with the flatmates between the Netherlands and South Africa. My partner is South African so we were rooting for them but unfortunately they lost.

Tomorrow is Monday which means Medieval Philosophy from 9 till 11 and Creative Writing from 2 till 5pm. Busy day ahead but life goes on. I'm looking forward to it though, I'm really enjoying the semester so far.

#Spotify #new studyblr #chaotic academia #university studyblr #academic #university student #uni life #studystudystudy #study blog #study #college student #english student #philosophy student #student #student life #studyblr #studyblog

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sneezemonster15 · 5 months

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You always so informed and smart in analyzing. Do not let hate get you down. Is there anything books you can recommended

That's so kind of you. Actually I constantly feel I know very little. Sometimes I feel like I will never have enough time to learn things that I want to learn. I am self assured about some things, but I second guess myself a lot more than you would think. Hehe.

Okay this is the second time I have gotten such a message. What hate though? There has been nothing like that in my asks. Just the usual.

What kind of book recs are you looking for? I am more of a fiction person and the recent book I read was a suspense thriller. Before that I was reading Camus. One of my favourite authors is Alexander McCall Smith. Reading his books is like lying down under the shade of a mahogany tree, while a bubbling brook flows alongside, as the rays of sun warm my cheeks, a gentle breeze blows and I just get lost in my thoughts. It's peaceful. I like his Sunday Philosophy Club series the best. I also like the Scotland Street series. The no 1 ladies detective agency series is also a good one. I like his humor, his humanity, his little observations about life, his generosity for his characters. Heh.

I like classics a lot. Chekhov is one of my favourites. I like Russian classics, although yeah, they can get quite depressing. But like, there's no match for the content. I also like Austen and Bronte sisters. Yeah, I know it's cliche, but I love Jane Eyre, despite all its problems. The chapter where Helen died haunts me still...

I happen to love O Henry and Maupassant. Reading their stories is just so inspiring and entertaining. I also love Manto and Dahl.

I also read a lot in my native language, it really has some of the best literature in the world. I also write poetry when the mood strikes. But I doubt that counts here.

#ask #sweet anon

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sanguinifex · 19 days

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Wonder what would happen if you took all the community stuff that churches do and just did that without any of the dogma or fucked-up political causes that churches in the US virtually always have.

Like, I would love to spend an hour or two mid-morning on a Sunday listening to some live music, having some readings from an important philosopher, and then hang out eating donuts and socializing afterwards. I just don’t want to encourage faith in things that aren’t part of observable reality, or have such an organization suborned by monied interests that tell people that anyone who cares for the common people wants to kill babies and eat trafficked children.

The un-Church could even have Sunday un-School where kids do science experiments or (at the higher grades) discuss secular ethics. Instead of Bible study, you get Wednesday philosophy night, basically a book club for secular philosophy and literature.

I think you’d need a large city or a college town to actually do this, but it would definitely be more constructive than just arguing with Christians on Reddit.

#agnostic #atheist #unChurch

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fishisvibing · 9 months

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I'm in my final year and I did something real bad last exams (my third year), so I failed a class , it's not one of the compulsory ones but it's philosophy and I had dragged myself for 4 months to that sleepy ass class just to miss it bc I overslept. And then I didn't participated in any events bc I was too busy working and crying over my thesis so the uni sent me a notice saying that if I didn't participate, I would be suspended for the next term. I was on full blown panic then. I did my best by asking event planners and club members and even volunteer to work at campus on saturday sunday hoping I can get my credit score back. And woah boy I did, I finally succeed in applying for new courses this morning even though the schedule is completely messed up now I still have to be present at campus till 9pm.

So what I wanna say is, I won't be able to active on this account as much as I do anymore, I'm so sowwy 🥺🥺🥺

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hecatemoon87 · 2 years

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Heart to Heart - A Reggie Kray Story

Until he sees her in another man’s arms, will he realize what he’s lost.

Part II - Mended Hearts

Request by @baneofmyexistencee

Time marches on as they say and things are not improving. It has been ten days since I’ve seen Reggie. He’s given me a few quick phone calls here and there. It’s always the same. He promises me he’ll stop over, spend time with me. Or we’ll go to a movie, the theater or the museum. His whole spiel is becoming old hat and I’m becoming tired of it. It really had been so much better when we had first met. We actually did those things, a movie, the theater. I was starting to think that this man was never going to propose to me. In fact, I was pretty sure he was already married to his job.

The weekend had approached and for the fourth consecutive time, Reggie was too busy to meet me. I decided to go out with my girlfriends instead. We went to a pub in London that would be considered artsy. Many of the students from the university haunted this pub and it provided some stimulating intellectual discussions. There, at the pub, I met Harry. He was good looking, kind and interesting. His personality was the complete opposite of Reggie’s. Harry was a free thinker. He was anti-war, pro-environment and overall anti-establishment. Harry loved art, poetry and literature and he and I spent several hours chatting away about the philosophy of Thomas Hobbs. I was beginning to notice that Harry was filling an emotional void that Reggie had so callously created. We were making an emotional connection and it felt good.

Upon returning home that evening a wave of guilt washed over me. I sat down on the couch and wondered if that conversation was the equivalent of cheating on Reggie. It wasn’t like Harry and I were out together alone, my friends were at the same table as we were. But I was feeling attracted toward Harry and I knew that I was walking a dangerous line. That night, I made a firm decision to never see Harry again. That I would make it work with Reggie because I loved him.

The following day I visited Reggie at the club. It was Sunday in the afternoon. The club was closed and only a few goons loitered inside playing cards and drinking. Reggie was in his back office so I knocked on the door. I heard a gruff voice telling me to come inside. I opened the door and Reggie glanced up. I hoped he would have been happy to see me, but his face wore a frown.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, sharply.

He had several open ledgers in front of him. He looked as if he was in the middle of crunching some numbers. I supposed I had interrupted his concentration.

“I just wanted to check on you,” I said, coming inside and closing the door.

He returned his gaze to the books and mumbled something incoherent. I walked over and took a seat across from his desk. I waited a few moments before asking a question.

“Do you want to get lunch?” I asked.

“Can’t,” he said, not looking up.

“How about supper later?” I offered.

Reggie was writing, but he stopped and slammed his fist down on the desk. He looked up in irritation.

“No, Y/N! Can’t you see I’m bloody busy?!”

I’m shocked by his outburst. I can now see that his eyes are red-rimmed, he looked so tired.

“Reggie, you should get some rest. I mean, why don’t you just delegate this work out today?” I said.

He shook his head and returned to working.

“Reg, I’m serious, why doesn’t Ronnie…” I begin, but I am hashly cut off before I can finish.

“Fucking hell! If you mention my brother one more bloody time, Y/N, we are fucking through! Do you get me?” he shouted, pointing a finger at me.

I bit my lip as tears welled up in my eyes. I don’t understand, I’m trying to, but I just don’t. I got up from the chair and rushed out of the building. My heart hurts and I feel more confused than ever. My mother once told me that love can be beautiful, but it also can be tortuous. I didn’t know what she meant until now.

-----------

It has been three days since Reggie flew off the handle. At first, I wanted to give him space. But then, the resentment began to grow and I just wanted to make him suffer for hurting me so badly. The day after the incident, my phone was ringing off the hook. I refused to answer it, knowing full well Reggie was calling me. Then I had a feeling he would soon visit me at my flat so I decided to pack my bag and stay with my friend for a few days. I really needed to sort my shit out, what was I doing with this man? Why did I still love him so much even though he was actively pushing me away? And why didn’t he just end it already if he was so unhappy with me?

My friend wanted to take my mind off my troubles, so she invited me to a picnic. It was being held at a nearby park. We packed our things for the day and headed over to the park. A few other people were already there setting up and amongst them was Harry. He saw me and waved merrily at me. I blushed and waved back.

“You see, there are other fish in the sea,” my friend said, nuding me in the ribs.

“I know…I’m just not ready,” I said as we approached the group.

We all spend the rest of the sunny afternoon chatting and drinking. It was a lovely day and for a few hours I forgot all about Reggie. That was until a member of our group suddenly asked, “Oh my god, is that Reggie Kray?”

I was sitting beside Harry, I supposed we were close to each other. I was a little drunk, so my inhibitions allowed me to flirt a little with Harry. I could see Reggie, still dressed fully in his black suit trudging up the grassy hill toward our little group.

“Oh, no,” I whispered, already feeling terribly embarrassed.

At the bottom of the hill I can see two other cars, each filled with a few of Reggie’s gangsters. Reggie reached the top of the hill, he’s smoking a cigarette and his eyes immediately lock on Harry and I.

“Afternoon, sorry to interrupt your little party, but can I have a word with,Y/N?” he said, flicking his cigarette ash on the ground.

My friend must have told Harry what happened between me and Reggie. I never spoke about the fight to anyone but her, so I’m surprised by what Harry says to Reggie.

“Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Harry said, getting up from the blanket we’ve placed on the grass.

Reggie’s eyes flashed over to Harry and he walked up to face him.

“That's so, huh? And who the fuck are you, mate?”

“A friend. Y/N, doesn’t need some gangster mucking about in her life,” Harry said.

“Yeah…so you know who I am then? You think mouthing off to me like that isn’t gonna have any repercussions?” Reggie retorted.

“Stop, just stop,” I said, getting up and moving between the two men.

“Look, I’m not here to cause trouble, Y/N. I’ve been looking for you for a week, I’ve been worried,” Reggie said, softly to me.

“Seems like you already have,” Harry snapped.

I cringed, knowing that Reggie didn’t like being disrespected in any manner.

“Shut your fucking mouth, eh? I’m talking to her, not you,” Reggie said, pointing a finger in Harry’s face.

“Reggie, let’s just go, okay? I’ll talk to you down there,” I said, pointing to the bottom on the hill.

Reggie’s eyes continued to burrow through Harry. One thing about Reggie, he can appear as many things. Calm, suave and charming. Or on the other hand, down right intense and intimidating. I think Harry was put off by Reggie’s eyes. The pupil in his eye was larger and the intensity of his glare was unsettling. I carefully place a hand on Reggie’s arm and I pray he can see in my eyes that I’m pleading for him to come with me. I’m relieved when he broke eye contact with Harry and looked down at me.

“Alright, come on then,” Reggie said, turning to return back down the hill.

Once we are down the hill and out of the eyesight of the group I let Reggie have it.

“What are you doing?! How could you do this?! I’m so bloody embarrassed!” I shouted.

“You’ve been missing for a week! I thought maybe you got hurt! Do you know how fucking worried sick I’ve been?!” he shouted back.

“No! You don’t get to blame me for this!” I said, tears starting to form in my eyes.

I am so angry with him I can’t hold back my tears for much longer.

“Yeah? And why the fuck not? You could have picked up a phone and called!”

“Really? So you could just threaten to end our relationship if I step out of line again?!” I retorted.

Reggie seemed to have forgotten about that last bit, I can tell by his silence that was the case.

“Listen, Y/N, let’s go back to the club, talk this out,” he said, softly.

I shook my head adamantly. “No, I am sick of your club!”

“Right, fine then, your flat? Anywhere you want, just let’s talk some place else, yeah?”

I’m trembling and tears are wetting my face. Up on the hill, I’m fairly certain my friends can hear the entire argument. I nod without saying a word and Reggie escorts me to one of the cars. The driver takes us back to my flat. Reggie and I both go up to my flat to continue our discussion. I sat down on the couch and he surprised me by going into the kitchen and starting the kettle. He doesn’t come back out until the water has boiled and the tea has seeped. I went to the bathroom to wash my face as I waited for him. When I come back out, two cups of tea are on the coffee table. Reggie looked up expectantly at me as I emerged from the bathroom. I slowly walked over to the couch and sat down as far away as possible from him.

He frowned, but didn’t comment on my distance.

“Fuck me,” he whispered and rubbed his face. “I’m sorry, alright? But you scared the living hell out of me. I thought someone hurt you.”

I don’t say a word. I just picked up the cup of tea and stared into the murky brown water.

“Who the fuck is that guy? You’ve…you’ve been seeing him?” Reggie asked.

I shook my head, a fresh tear appearing and dropping soundlessly into my tea. I’m refusing to look at him, because if I do I’m worried I will fall in love with him all over again. He is quiet and I supposed he was just watching me at the moment.

“Come on, say something?” he asked.

“There’s nothing to say, I think…I think it’s broken,” I whispered.

“What is? What’s broken?” he inquired.

“Our relationship,” I managed to say before breaking down.

Immediately he stood up and removed the cup from my hands and then enveloped me into a bear hug. I burrowed my face into his suit, his familiar smell bringing solace to my senses. I gripped him tightly, sobbing into his expensive suit, but he didn’t seem to mind. He stroked my hair and hushed me, rocking me slowly in his arms.

“Shhhh, it’s gonna be fine, love. I’m here, I’m here,” he assured me. “I was a fucking idiot, right? I’m sorry.”

It took me a few minutes to pull myself together, but when I did I looked up at him. I wanted to know, this would be the question and how he answered it would depend on if I stayed with him or not.

“I want to know about Ronnie. Why does it upset you so much when I talk about him in regards to the work? And I want to know why you’re different now, since you’ve gotten out of prison you’re just so cold now,” I said.

I honestly thought he’d let go of me and start shouting again about how I should never speak of Ronnie. But again, he surprised me. He continued to hold me close and I can see his face sadden and he actually gripped me tighter.

“Because…because he fucked it all up,” he said.

I didn’t say a word, I remained silent but my eyes told him that I was listening. I just wanted to give him time to express himself.

“When I went away, he made a fucking mess. He went off his medication and almost botched the whole business. When I came back, I had a lot of work to do. I still do. But he’s my brother, I don’t wanna hate him, I love him and I just gotta clean up the mess myself…but…it’s hard sometimes,” he said.

So that’s what was eating him up. He loved Ronnie, wanted to take care of Ronnie. But he couldn’t depend on his brother. From a mix of conflicted emotions, the stress of running a business and responsibility of maintaining a relationship with me, poor Reggie had reached his limit. I didn’t need to ask why he bottled all this up. Reggie was a man’s man. That meant you didn’t complain, you did the work and you carried on. Talking about his pain would have been inmasculine.

I stroked the side of his face and nodded that I understood him. I gave him a light kiss on his lips and pressed my forehead against his.

“I’m sorry, Reggie. I thought that maybe you just didn’t want to be with me anymore,” I said.

“No, that’s not true. I need you, I do. If you leave…I got nothing to keep me together,” he said.

Suddenly he got up from the couch and crouched down in front of me. He grasped my hands together and looked me squarely in the eyes.

“That bloke…you aren’t leaving me for him are you?”

“What? No, no,” I said, removing my hands from his and cupping his face.

“Good, he looked like a fucking hippie,” Reggie said.

I couldn’t help but laugh and I am enjoying the fact that he was jealous of Harry.

“He’s an intellectual, not a hippie,” I corrected him.

“I don’t care, I don’t fucking like him,” Reggie said.

He shook his head as if he was going off topic.

“Nevermind, look, I don’t have it on me, but, uh, I wanna ask anyway. Not like how I planned, but I don’t want you running back to that wanker. Will you marry me?” Reggie asked, hesitantly.

I blinked, completely thrown off guard by his question. In fact, I’m not entirely certain I heard him correctly.

“What?” I asked.

“Will you marry me?” he asked again.

“Yes, yes, why did it take you this long, yes!” I said, excidelty.

He stood up and I jumped into his arms. I’m so happy, I start crying again.

“Whoa, you’ve cried enough haven’t ya?” he joked.

“I guess I have, but at least now I’m happy.”

<end>

#reggie kray #tom hardy #tom hardy fanfiction #tom hardy fanfic #tom hardy fan fic

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alexbkrieger13 · 9 months

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Good read probably behind a paywall later-ish

https://www.dn.se/sport/sa-byggde-gerhardsson-sin-hyllade-ledarstil-man-maste-fa-tillatas-att-tanka-pa-sig-sjalv/

This is how Gerhardsson built his celebrated leadership style: "You must be allowed to think about yourself"

Several national teams have been torn apart by internal contradictions.

In the Swedish World Cup squad, cohesion is celebrated like never before.

Here, players can be themselves, say several stars.

Union captain Peter Gerhardsson explains his leadership philosophy:

- Many people talk about the team before the self, but for me it's just the opposite. You must be allowed to think for yourself to create a good group

Spanish footballers have rebelled against their national team captain and boycotted national team games. In France, the contradictions between the former leadership and the big stars were so great that the national team captain had to be replaced. And in Norway, one of the World Cup squad's biggest players has completely cut off the national team leadership, indirectly put himself above his teammates - and was forced to apologize.

Yes, it has stormed around several national teams before and during the WC.

In Sweden?

- The team cohesion that we have right now, not many teams have, says midfielder Elin Rubensson.

- This is what I think is one of our greatest strengths, that we work a lot on personal relationships, adds colleague Kosovare Asllani.

- That people dare to relax and be themselves.

If Asllani is to be believed, it hasn't always been that way. The Milan star told this in a long interview with DN before the World Cup:

- In previous years, before Peter took over (2017) I would say, I felt that everyone would fit into a square, no one was allowed to stand out, but you looked for more mistakes and tried to set a standard how you "should" behave. But since Peter took over, it doesn't matter how you are.

The Peter she is talking about is the union captain Gerhardsson.

- He has an openness, explains national team captain Caroline Seger.

- We are very open with each other. Then there won't be these little moments of irrationality that maybe other teams experience.

When Gerhardsson himself has to explain how he worked with group dynamics, he refers, as often when he has to put the words out about something, to the time when he was club coach for BK Häcken's men.

- There were many who were young, many were older, many players were from other nations. That dynamic was fantastic to work with, says the union captain to DN.

When he took over responsibility for the women's national team, he wanted to create a similar climate.

- Many people talk about the team for the sake of the self, but for me it's just the opposite. Self before the team.

- You must be allowed to think about yourself and be allowed to think about yourself in order to create a good team, a good group. That doesn't mean you should be stupid, you should also have respect. But in order to end up respecting someone, you have to have a slightly broader view of how people work - background, where you come from and so on.

He exemplifies:

- In a way, I am perhaps dependent on my upbringing, where I come from. But no one can be exactly like me. Then I'm stupid if I believe that.

The national team must work as a group and strive towards the same goal, say both Gerhardsson and several players. But especially during championships – week in and week out together – there must be room for individual adaptation. Not least when it comes to training and recovery.

When Sweden takes on the USA in the World Cup round of 16 in Melbourne on Sunday, it will be after several weeks together in Oceania - but it is not written in stone that everyone had the same schedule.

- We set up training based on some kind of median. Then someone may need to train more and someone may need to train less. We cannot set up collective training sessions for everything, says Gerhardsson.

Even outside the pitch, the individual must have a place, he continues.

- Our entire group, both leaders and players, is based on an individual freedom to say what one thinks and thinks. Then of course there are frames in it.

- But just like in Häcken, I wanted players who stand for their opinions, who are not anonymous. One way is to create a trust in people and talk to people. You can have different opinions, but you respect each other.

His celebrated group dynamics are not just about the atmosphere among the players either.

Several Swedish WC names mention how the management team is close to the playing squad, in a way that - perhaps - stands out.

- If there is something, we have promised each other that we will take it immediately, and then move on. Then it's easier, says Seger.

After the EC last year was such a period.

DN has previously told about how injuries, covid infection and shaky results affected the mood in the group.

- I want to believe that everyone is always very happy, but you have to keep in mind that there can always be a player who is disappointed, who was substituted, substituted late or not substituted at all, says assistant national team captain Magnus Wikman during this year's WC.

- Then it is important to communicate, take it early and have regular contact - not have a development meeting once a year.

A key person in this context is, in addition to Gerhardsson, the football psychological advisor Rasmus Liljeblad, who the national team captain brought with him from Häcken, say several players.

The role was new in the national team in 2017, and deals with group and individual calls, Liljeblad has previously explained his mission to DN.

But he is often also the spider in the web in well-being activities and team building. During the WC, for example, the entire Swedish squad competed in a well-known tournament in a so-called cornhole (which involves throwing bags on a board with a hole in it).

- I think every single player and manager was involved in the final. We had physical therapists who were cheerleaders and someone else was a DJ, it was a cool experience. That is what will take us far, says Elin Rubensson.

It might sound silly , but just such things create harmony in a group, says striker Olivia Schough.

- I've been in teams where there hasn't been harmony in the group and then there hasn't been good football either. You want to have fun at work, that is very important.

#really good read #swewnt #swewnt article

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