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#the setting sun
idleminds · 6 months
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"Cat General, I heard that was your nickname. Since you felt alienated at home, you often came to the neighborhood shrine in the evening. Carrying food for the cats. When you walked, the cats would follow you. It looked like a general and his retainers, hence the name Cat General." — Rakujitsu, Episode 3
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Your Umbrella (Dazai x Reader)
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I love him. My baby, my love, my sunshine is safe and happy in my bed.
Wrote this before watching today's new episode! This feels rushed because I was too excited for the new episode to wait to write it out. Sorry babes, Dazai is my top priority.
Post episode Mars: I giggled and kicked my feet like a little girl! That was some gay shit, but HELLO DAZAI IS ALIVE! My babyboo ahh.
(Also did you guys see the chapter236 JJK leaks?! I shall write for Gojo...I'm coping)
Writing is how I cope.
In which we talk with Dazai while we both overlook the setting sun (see what I did there hehe)
Bye now - Mars ♡
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Together on a bench, onlooking the sunset, you and Dazai sat in silent. The rays of the warm sunlight pleasant on your skin and face. The clouds, a pretty colour of orange and yellow. The blue contrast of the sky blended nicely.
“Why are you a detective?” you asked Dazai, you were in a sulky mood today, you felt… drifty, for lack of a better word. It was one of those days where you wake up and question your existence. Why were you you? Why did you want to do this job? Why did your life turn this way?
Dazai shifted his gaze to you, his eyes looking at yours. He let out a silent sigh before giving you a smug smile.
“Don’t I look like I belong here? Plus it’s quite interesting” He looked up at the pretty clouds and then muttered under his breath, “This job comes naturally to me”
“Brushing my teeth comes naturally to me but that’s because I’ve done it a million times” you stated, and you heard him chuckle.
“I suggest you don’t compare your little daily routine to my life darling” he snorted, eyes still on the sunset.
“Do you take pride in your job?”, you continued to probe. Your mind was curious, but your heart wasn’t. Your heart feared triggering him and making him angry, a product of your own troubled past. But you knew Dazai, you wanted to believe you did, and he wouldn’t snap like that. He was too much of an unserious person. But what if?
Dazai gave a small nod, confirming your assumption. He turns to look at you, “it’s because of my job that I’ve been able to accomplish many things” his smile smug, “Impressive, yes? Heh.”
“Many things like?” You seem to not take the hint to not go further but you couldn’t stop yourself.
“Handling guns” he jokes and you chuckle, it wasn’t even funny. His voice just made everything sound giddy.
“Have you accomplished happiness?” you tilt your head and look back at him.
Dazai freezes up but quickly basks it with a little laugh and turns backed to face the sun. A desperate attempt to avoid your eyes. “Do I look unhappy?” he muses, his voice teasing.
“I’d rather not judge a book by its cover. You tell me.”
Dazai laughs, “What a curious thing you are, asking me such a thing” he smiles, it’s not pretty you think.
“Should I be irritated by your little question or find it funny how straightforward you are” He asks you with a little smirk. When you don’t answer and just stare at him, he adds “Happiness had abandoned me, I’ll say, a very long time ago.”
Abandonment? Was this the closest Dazai will ever allow you to be? Desperate and lovesick, you grabble at any piece of crumbs he gives. It’s pathetic. You attempt to keep your cool, but you’re sure he knows how you really feel. He seems to always know everything.
“Doesn’t that contradict the philosophy ‘Happiness is found inside of us’?”
Dazai glances at you for a moment, then back to the sun, he let out a small hum of interest. You really had a way of surprising him, not that he’d ever let you know that.
“I suppose so, however the happiness I’m searching for cannot be reached. I assure you that.”
You stole a glance at his face, he seems to be reminiscing on something. Or maybe that was just another façade to lead you astray from his true feelings.
“Why not?”
With a bit of hesitation, he smiles, eyes bright. A change that catches you off guard, Dazai shifts closer to you. The edge of his trench coat brushing up against your pants. He lowers his voice several octaves, almost in a forbidden whisper, “Because I am searching for one thing that cannot be obtained.”
Your eyebrows shot up, “And what’s that? Dinosaurs?”, a futile attempt to lighten up the conversation. You wanted so badly a shred of him, the real him, but now that you think you’re getting it, you’re not sure. You’re running away.
Dazai laughs amused by your response, the corners of his eyes crinkling up as he closes them, letting the laughter overtake him. “Good observation, but no” he clicks his tongue playfully, “To put it simply. I am searching for one thing to fill…” he sighs out and shakes his head a little.
“Ah” he giggles, “I’m not sure what I’m searching for” he deflects. He doesn’t know if he should share, if he could bare to say it out loud. Because to say it out loud would mean to admit it. To acknowledge it.
Bullshit. You knew it was a lie. He was a liar. Damn your heart for falling for him.
Looks at him, “It’s okay” you said with a sigh, “I’m searching for myself in a way,” you decided to turn the conversation on you to avoid going to go down the road of awkwardness.
“The thing…I’m searching for doesn’t exist, love doesn’t exist.” He sounded like he was in pain. Like it pained him to say that. To tell you that. You find yourself feeling guilty, did you pressure him?
“Love isn’t limited, so again, why?” you continue.
Once again for the multiple time, Dazai laughs “Curious little thing indeed” he turns to look at you, “Think you have a chance, Bella?”
You find your face heating up and keeps your eye on the sun to avoid his gaze.
“Do you think you could meet my standards? They’re quite high” he teases and once again you think he’s deflecting. A big distraction to avert your eyes from peering at him.
He holds his head up high, his gaze on you unwavering. You aren’t looking at him, but the intensity of his eyes pins you to this old bench.
“Are they high to protect your heart?” you blurt you before you even knew what you were saying. “Sorry!” you instantly apologize.
Dazai was surprised by your statement, yes that was exactly what it was. He stayed silent for a moment, contemplating your words. “Perhaps,” he sighs, shall I take a chance? He questions himself, a battle between his brain. “I have set out expectations that I’m even unsure about myself.” He spoke and then stayed silent. He waited for your next words. His heart was pounding yet his face had a smug smile.
“Expectations are like umbrellas, they stop rain and sun from reaching us” you state, and then laughs.
“Indeed, but what’s your point?”
“Rain is like pain, yes your umbrella, your walls, protect you from it” you cross a leg over the next, eyes drinking in the sunlight. “But you miss out on the warm sun too.”
Dazai ponders to himself for a moment. It appears you’ve managed to grasp a greater sense of him. Did he underestimate you? No, he wouldn’t be so careless. “Quite the profound analogy you have there, it’s fascinating.” He smiles at you, “How did you come to this conclusion, might I ask?”
“You know, I like sun especially in the mornings and evenings, it’s like a warm hug” you fiddle with your shirt, “but I also like rain, though sometimes storms are too harsh for my umbrella.”
Dazai observed you for a while, the silence between you two comfortable. He noticed the light pink tinting your cheeks and the way you avoided his eyes. You had intrigued him, maybe he truly had a soft spot for you.
The silence was not comfortable for you, did you overstep? Did he find your analogy dumb? Your mouth acted on its own, “I always use my umbrella” you stated, “But one harsh storm broke it, and I was drenched with a skeleton of an umbrella” your eyes have this faraway look, he notes.
“And then the sun hit me and I wasn’t ready and I was scared” you breathe out, closing your eyes. Dazai thinks the sight is better than the setting sun, “But it dried up my wet clothes and wet skin and wet hair. It felt warm and…yellow” you laugh softly, “yellow is such a beautiful colour, yes?”
He hums, “Are you saying that you decided to get rid of your protection and walk and bask in the sunlight that you so adore” his voice is light and teasing. His eyes laser focused on you as if you’d burst open and come up with a new revelation.
“Yes, sun being metaphor for love. Rain for pain, umbrella for protective walls and wet for I guess, depression?” you break down your words, trying to make him understand. He already understands, he just loves your voice so much.
“To translate from my understanding, you’re saying you choose love regardless of the costs?” you nod.
“You fascinate me,” he admits boldly, “Do you have someone in mind?”
“Someone in mind?”
“For love, the person you choose will be a caliber of that, do you?” He shifts his eyes to the clouds. A blissful sight.
“When I say sun is love I don’t speak of lovers. I would say I’m my own sun. A lover would be a mirror, reflecting to me how bright my own sun shines.” Your lips presses together into a thin line.
“A mirror, I see” he chuckles. “Oh, you curious little thing” he smiles.
“Then can we test this?”
“Test what?”
“Let go of your umbrella and let me be your mirror,” he takes a hold of your hand, “Belladonna,”
“Osamu”
His heart stops when you whisper his given name. It sounded so beautiful falling from your lips. “Say it again” he leans in and connects your lips together.
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voidincinema · 1 year
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The setting sun by Osamu Dazai
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lovesomepoems · 5 months
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“When I pretended to be precocious, people started the rumor that I was precocious.
When I acted like an idler, rumor had it I was an idler.
When I pretended I couldn't write a novel, people said I couldn't write.
When I acted like a liar, they called me a liar.
When I acted like a rich man, they started the rumor I was rich.
When I feigned indifference, they classed me as the indifferent type.
But when I inadvertently groaned because I was really in pain, they started the rumor that I was faking suffering.”
-Osamu Dazai
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plazticaaa · 7 months
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“I don't understand the world." "I don't either. I wonder if anyone does. We all remain children, no matter how much time goes by. We don't understand anything.”
The Setting Sun
Osamu Dazai
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sesugi · 5 months
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Japanese author Osamu Dazai with his first wife Hatsuyo Oyama.
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thepeacockwitch-art · 1 month
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—тнє ρєα¢σ¢к ωιт¢н
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yama-hai-hum · 5 months
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" Given my lack of experience, if my books were taken away from me, I would be utterly devastated. That's how much I depend on what's written in books. I'll read one book and be completely wild about it—I'll trust it, I'll assimilate it, I'll sympathize with it, I'll try to make it a part of my life. Then, I'll read another book and, instantly, I'll switch over to that one. The sly ability to steal someone else's experience and recreate it as if it were my own is the only real talent I possess. "
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School girl
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Currently reading "The Setting Sun" by Osamu Dazai. I was curious about his works because of his personal history and if we put together how he lived and what he wrote... Oh boy did he have BPD?
I mean there is no way of knowing now but there sure are a lot of warning signs. Substance abuse, suicidal attitude and thoughts, superiority and inferiority complex, the need to be social but also lack of understanding about other people.
Mhhh.
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kynhgosss · 30 days
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sleepy-vix · 1 month
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i was meant to only buy the iliad today but i ended up also purchasing crime & punishment and the setting sun 😭 $61 when i was only supposed to spend $18 agsbdsj
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idleminds · 6 months
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iwanna69akutagawa · 2 months
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Wish me luck y'all
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hiyutekivigil · 1 year
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from the setting sun by osamu dazai
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amyyho · 1 year
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I am told that the first words I murmured as I began to recover consciousness were, "I'm going home." It's not clear even to myself what place I meant by "home," but in any case these were the words I said, accompanied, I was told, by profuse weeping.
No Longer Human, Osamu Dazai
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chaotic-trash-cat · 1 year
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Learning is a another name of vanity. It is the effort of human beings not to be human beings.
- Dazai Osamu, The Setting Sun
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