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#the school year is ending just next month yikes
lonespektr · 3 months
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They aren't addressing money??
baby girl is CLINGING to normalcy
Grocery store is one thing, eggs for breakfast still is one thing baby but PAYING BILS
Sis you had a wonderful time and u mad because he already has a family
Monogamy got you in a death grip sis
Pretending laundry is something people would stop doing seven months to the end of the world is white people shit
This is very white
Carpe diem doesn't mean be FUNKY
Only white people think bathing is optional
The car was moving???
The car was moving by itself
Her poor parents were going to ruin the rest of their living days to hang around while their daughter has a crisis
Her parents are so sweet
I respect a routine and not knowing what to do
I don't respect not having like lobster for breakfast and champagne even if you don't travel (which i can't respect)
Oddly she says her menu is BLANK and honestly i wonder if it isn't OVERLY FULL
It would seem someone on that position has the paralysis of TOO MANY HOICES
Again they haven't addressed money
But it seems like it's largely obsolete
So she can travel
I can't respect Carol for not traveling
That bitch can sit alone on a train in another country
Russia has a big ass train
India
Hun
Sit on a train and have an existential crisis in another country at least
Also the concept that humans in developing countries would play tour guide to white Americans at the end of their world ????
Be fer fucking real
Peak whiteness
I am reserving commentary on the black male nurse and her parents
Oh big question
Why is the military invested in protecting an applebees?
Ep 2
I don't think she had friends before this
She certainly wasn't living life
Life would have to have beat you down so hard (capitalism) to not have any semblance of an idea of what you want to do
Speaking from experience just literally turning off that "i want" section of your brain because you have obligations
How repressed ???
Yikes carol high school year book???
Ooo baby worse than i thought
What's the turnover on this job???
I'm sure they will get to this but they haven't looked at
People trying to survive (get off world)
Or
People trying to document human existence for posterity
And they haven't touched on mass suicides
No one taking to her is weird if this is an office full of people in denialthe cacoon is very litteral
Strong pattern here around silence - pattern of addiction - the inability to speak
I appreciate the desperation about the toner but there was no lead up to a culturally appropriating white woman being so connected to toner
Materialistic? Obvs
Not wanting to be inconvenienced sure?
But toner is something she wouldn't even notice
It reeks of not just aimlessness but full on bootlicking
THE DISTRACTION
so depressing
Toner for "next time"
It's seven months out and they are getting no faxes from anyone there will not be a next time
Imagine alarm clocks at the end of the world
JESUS BE A SHIELD
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tzarina-alexandra · 7 months
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Reading some things I wrote in my diary about a year ago and I'm beginning to understand why I've been so messed in the head....
10 July 2022: "at least I haven't reached the level of desperation I had in 2018": me in September 2023 Knowing TM. Oh no sweetie. You don't want to know about April. Or May. Or June. Or July...
"I'm waiting for my next good phase, but who knows... it's perfect only in Heaven. Otherwise life is hard but has good moments sometimes". <- why I'm saying merely saying it'll be good in Heaven isn't helpful. Yeah factually true, but it can easily lead to "life is hell, can't wait to die" mentality.
"It's been 10 years and I wonder, what am I: child or adult? On my documents it says 20/03/2001, so 21 years old. Even in America, I can drink now, as it were. 10 years... for me that's already half of my lifetime... the most turbulent part of my life so far... I can't wait to be told the hard part only comes next" <- oh yeah the resentment runs deep. Again. How do you expect to tell people it only ever gets worse and have that be an encouragement yikes.
"I no longer write in pink glitter pen, but am I more mature, or just more serious?" <- poetry poetry poetry poetry poetry poe-
"I want, yes, I want to be an adult, but, mom, I wanna snow fight the kids from the neighbouring school..." <- reference to the very first journal entry, dated 12 December 2012 (I was 11 and a half years old).
Man this hurts my soul. This is how I ended my diary. Those were the last words I ended 10 years of content with. Whereas everything else was mostly funny episodes and life recaps. Life really did break me didn't it.
I do want to heal though. I do want to!!!
I'm just now realising. No wonder coming home last September messed me up beyond repair. In July 2022 I was carrying the weight of the world, in August I was able to escape as if in a fairytale, and in September I was forced to come back not only to my overbearing parents, but to acknowledging all my problems. Not just the July baggage, but the 2012-2022 baggage too. And boy did I carry that for the entire coming 12 months. No wonder it broke me. No wonder it created a year long cycle of "totally unaware bliss" and "hyperaware existential dread". I didn't allow myself to process things in a healthy way.
AAAAAARHGHHHH
I WANT TO HEAL
No more trauma please!!!!!!!!! I want to be happy, but not as an addict. Not as if I'd be down to do anything just to distract myself. Let me sit with the pain if that's what I need. Let me suffer briefly if it means my wounds will scar. Let me be able to suffer if it means being able to Love. Let me feel pain if it means my heart is noonger stone!!!!!!!!!
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misssugarpinkshome · 7 months
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Author Update!
Hey y'all! Here's the author update. Just posted Chapter 58, I'm so excited since the next chapter will be incredibly challenging for me to write. I hope you guys are excited as I am.
I'm... actually gonna put the update this time under a cut, cause it's A Wee Bit More Serious than normal, lmao.
The TL;DR: this boy can fit a whole lot of trauma in him, and he's kinda tired of it. It's been an incredibly hard month, but I'm also looking at the amount of growth I've done and I'm proud.
Thanks for reading, folks!!
(Big ol' trauma dump below the cut!)
OOOOKAY so like. Yikes!
I got called out by someone I look up to basically telling me I needed to shape up, and while they weren't WRONG, it really fucking hurt. As in, I got so incredibly triggered that I cried for about 48 hours straight.
This also led to me and a friend of mine having a really big falling out, and while it got resolved, oof it was exhausting.
At the end of those 48 hours, I had to deal with a situation in a server I moderate for where someone made some incredibly serious allegations about another server member.
The allegations turned out to be false, so we did not ban the server member who was accused -- which led to a callout post being written about me and the server, with false allegations about me that were incredibly triggering.
:) This was all right before a very nauseating 14 hour car ride :) Definitely did not fuck up my brain :) Definitely did not cause me to maybe split again :) Oops
My vacation to see my partner's extended family went really well at least? They're really awesome and good family. But I spent all of my free time working on a (currently around 50 page) document detailing all of the bullshit that happened with the allegations. Yes. It was that many pages. That's about a fourth of the bullshit.
Remember how I was on vacation? Well. I lied to my parents about my location. And they found out. And one thing led to another, I called them, they screamed at me, and... I broke my phone. I've made the decision to cut them off, because I just... can't handle this anymore.
Anyways. Cut to the present. I still haven't told them, but they figured as much since they can't reach me through my old number. My mom keeps emailing my workplace trying to contact me. I haven't been able to read them yet. My therapist is helping me compose a letter to my parents and my sister to let them know. My partner and my friends and family-by-association has been really supportive and caring, and it's a lot. Not to mention, school has started again, so now I'm back to being overworked and underpaid (and... actively dealing with some severe harassment from a homophobic student each day at the moment... ugh)
It's been an incredibly fucking hard month. The way I have to look at it, though, is that I am incredibly strong and I have grown so damn much. I have a lot going on, and normally, this would be enough to make me completely self destruct.
But (with the help of friends and my chosen family alike), I managed to help clean the living room. Today I did some dishes. I am ROCKING teaching. And... I'm desperately, hopelessly in love with my fiance, and feel safer than I ever have before.
I've always hated the phrase "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" because of what I've been through. But right now, I'm feeling very strongly a variation of the phrase: "what you survive influences who you are; processing that makes you stronger." I feel like I've grown a lot in the past year alone, and it's only going to get better.
So... yeah! There's a huge big long trauma dump. I'm so so sorry lol I just... I want you guys to know about the person behind the T_T profile picture. It feels good to be seen. <3
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Jali Fams Plotting
Ali- 13/02/2000
Ronan- 31/08/2000
Johnny- 23/02/1996 
Moses- 30/09/1997
Bartley- 14/11/1999
*Ronan and Bartley were in Ali and Carly’s year when they went to school, thus how y’all meet and everything
Right, so Jali starts when she’s 12 which would be summer 2012, Django is conceived 3-11 July 2013 according to the calculator I have so the Jali miscarriage must happen to set that off after they’ve been together a year which we haven’t really considered so we need to note that down because we always rush on a first go lol
Django is born 30th March 2014 and Carly dies 24th April 2014
By this point, aka when everything has gone horrifically wrong, Johnny is 18 or about to be so can absolutely get married being a gypsy
The drama of you being gone by the summer of 2014, okay us
Sophie Turner is 16 when y’all wed, just so we remember, she’s like 2 years older than Ali
You could fit in a child or two here, Ali’s next/her first technically is 2016 so you’ve got from summer 2014 to then which gives 2 in my head
We don’t have to be ultra specific but let’s assume you’re pregnant by sept of 2014 you can have your first kid by june 2015
Giving a full irish twins moment you can have your next and Ali namesake by march 2016 which is perfect because Rio is conceived in march 2016 so you know what you did lmao
Rio has my boo’s bday in 2016
Caleb is NOT ready for fatherhood (and frankly no one can blame you you’re bouta be 17 but like yikes)
Edie is conceived 30th Jan to 7th of Feb but these calculators are only a guide so as my boo said we can absolutely make it her bday actually and you’re just a bit early/late ‘cos only a week off anyway, slay except not because the way you have slid in the DMs and impregnated her again immediately Moses
Clearly need a Johnny child in response to this charming relationship so hold awn, would be Oct/Nov 2017, the way i’m sure billie has met troye at some point, surely, because this is your 3rd and the face
Ali doesn’t have more kids ‘til 2021 so time to fit the rest of Johnny’s bar the response child in for sure
Fitting in the Moses breakup sometime in here, we don’t have to specify but it needs to happen by the below, obvs
‘Cos the twins are twins, they can be about a month early and so they can be conceived on Ali’s bday again in 2021 so that’s a reconciliation vibe with Caleb for sure, even if it happens before your bday but then he stupidly decides on said day that y’all should try again like it isn’t gonna fuck it all again heh, boy you try
Let’s give a 2018/2019 to your next boy and a 2021 to your lily rose face, she could then be twin-useable should we want
Last thing to note is Junior who is conceived end of nov 2022 to be born in august 2023
Last Johnny kid in retaliation to Ronali getting together at some time in the 2021/2022 time so your kid can fit in there before Junior
Django- 30/03/2014
Nelus- 15/06/2015
Alifair- 04/03/2016
Rio- 03/12/2016
Fennix- 22/10/2017
Edie- 27/10/2017
Samson- 20/04/2019
Grace & Janis- 13/10/2021
Keziah- 11/12/2021
Acorn- 09/09/2022
Junior- 13/08/2023
Ronali breakup 2028, Junior is about 5, y’all have been together about 7 years so it’s giving the most stability we’ve had
So we know the kick off of reunion times is the whole money debacle which is sometime in 2030 just before Una dies which is end of July, when Ali finds out and comes at him
Then the mum reveal which as we’ve said can be pretty soon after because it’s been coming in the air tonight in Johnny’s life hence it was not handled well, so we’re around end of summer 2030, for the sake of how old y’all are
Django- 16- 17 years older than M
Nelus- 15- 16 years older than M
Alifair- 14- 15 years older than M
Rio- 13 ‘til Dec- 15 years older than M
Fennix- 12 ‘til Oct- 14 years older than M
Edie- 12 ‘til Oct- 14 years older than M
Samson- 11- 12 years older than M
Grace & Janis- 8 ‘til Oct- 10 years older than M
Keziah- 8 ‘til Dec- 10 years older than M
Acorn- about to be 8- 9 years older than M
Junior- just 7- 8 years older than M
Aww Maggie has to be conceived by Christmas for her birthday 17/09/2031, not hanging about but that’s what we need so go us
* Maggie is gonna have a teen preggo arc around 14/15, which would be 2045/2046
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lycheermne · 3 months
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Day 7: Lies, Leadership, Lonely, Levels
I lied to my friends yesterday. It was not like it was out of malicious intentions, but I ultimately told them I was not going to a hangout because I had something busy. The truth was I just did not want to feel guilty of going to another person's hangout when another friend of mine brought up a hangout planned that day. The deeper truth was that I just did not feel like hanging out because of the cons that ultimately outweighed the pros. I have thought about it too, the interactions, the banter, the laughter, but one of the biggest cons that weighed the heaviest was the family and my health. I feel like it was pretty selfish, but I can only remain selfish for the time being as it is a winter break I want ultimately to myself. I want time for myself to grow and reflect in the past, to cringe at what was behind, and to hopefully move forward as this is the last semester of me being in high school.
This ties into this next segment, my leadership. I have had comments of people saying that I am a great leader, of what I do, inspiring others, but am I being honest of who I am? Even as my director says that I am doing a great job, how much of me is great? If I ever tell these things to my friends, they are probably going to say that I am doing okay, but it really is not up to my standards yet. I think this is an okay thing, although what was not okay was my integrity these past few months. I have not been honest to neither myself and others, and I think partially it is because I have never taken the time to even care about myself. I have only existed purely to exist, I tell my friends advice but I never seem to carry on that advice for myself. It is like I was too selfless for the sake of losing myself. How much of that can I lose? I messed up in the past, yes, there is nothing I can do to time travel back and change what was there. No one will remember stuff that I have done that I have internally cringed at, people will remember some stuff, they might dislike/hate me for it, so really the only thing I can do right now is to move forward. In my past blogs, it makes me seem like I am doing progress, but I think that the journey of progress is to sometimes take a step back and I am now experiencing that step back.
There is something about the art of doing nothing that just flew over my head after I understood how our society is ran through by distractions. I often used distractions to hide away from my feelings, now only knowing the downsides of this habit that I have accumlated resulted in me having to NOW face them all at once rather than dealing with it in increments. Yikes. But after I watched a video about how sitting for hours allows not only your brain to process all of the information that has been gained, but your creativity peaks when you just sit there and do nothing with your thoughts. No one likes to be confronted with the ugly, that is your thoughts, but I think that in order to enjoy life you must face the ugly anyways. The ugly as in, the workload that might pile onto you too. Maybe in 2024, I can see my perspective of workload to change a little bit. Something into more positive and rewarding for me in the end.
I am really proud of myself for doing some self-care for myself because I want to prioritize myself. My skin is finally clearing up, I feel more aligned with my feelings than normal, and I have already started envisioning a future that I want for myself in terms of my fortitude and just work habit. I want this for myself within the new year. This is really a small win in my head, but a huge win in my heart. I am a different person than I was 2 weeks ago even if it was just by a bit. I am still annoying to other people as ever and wanting to start chaos everywhere around me. And I like that.
Well my friends brought up the topics about the whole situation in vocal right now, and honestly, I seem to not be as angry as I was before. What I can really take from this situation is that I seem to be a lot more forgiving and understanding even though my subtle anger is just a tiny bit there. Whatever. I don't want to dwell too much about the situation but all I can really say is that I am proud of where I am. Confidence.
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seethestarlights · 7 months
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hey there mikaela it’s been awhile!! how are you? lots of things to Catch up On in my world! the job i was just starting the last time we talked ended up fiRing me after 3 months because i called their maNager out for stealing tips from our tip share so. that’s fun! not the best first entry into the workforce but it’s ok. my eras tour show was so aMazing, and i actually ended up standing outside the stadium in pittsbUrgh which was really fun!! i also went on a major Family vacation (not saying where because i’ve talked about it on my main haha) and it was incredible. but enough about me, what’s new with you? i know you had just gotten a new job last we talked, how's that going? what are your plans for this Fall? my fall is going to be fIlled with school, volleyball, and mIssing my sister as she just left for college :( see you sooN!
i'm sorry you got fired from your job! sounds likes a yikes situation 😬 hopefully you've found another place to work that's much better!! i'm glad you had fun at your eras show!! i'm so keen for mine next year. sounds like things are still going well for you despite some not so great things happening (although it sounds like you dodged a bullet with that job)!!! xx
i'm really loving my job at the moment!! it's been really fun and rewarding. and it's actually about to be spring here (i live in aus!) so i'm looking forward to the warm weather (which is apparently an unpopular opinion lmao) and probably catching up with friends!
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jisungsplatforms · 3 years
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it is 2am...tell me why i decided to rearrange my entire closet and change my bed sheets... 🤨
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feelingofcontent · 2 years
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DNP Rewatch: RIP 'danisnotonfire'
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Date video was published: 05/01/2017 (X)
DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 343
The re-brand is here. Also the last video posted that was filmed in the first London flat.
0:05 - I’m really not sure the second half of the title clears things us that much...
0:11 - the dramatic music over this social media updates is great. also, his tumblr theme banner and YouTube banner still reading “danisnotonfire” 😂
0:14 - even using some cut-away shots in this video. also love that he’s using Phil’s laptop here
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0:16 - and glasses-Dan!
0:20 - the side eye and deadpan expression. also his desktop wallpaper in the background. I love it all
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0:28 - “change?! I don’t like change” very dramatic but a bit true. getting all of the change out of the way at once between the move and this
0:35 - “calm your non-gender-specific flaps” amazing
0:47 - that is a lot of years for something you created on a whim as a teenager
0:59 - Dan’s editing for this video is fantastic
1:04 - “dan attempting to have a career.mp4″ 😂
1:09 - just yikes; that would be so weird and embarrassing
1:35 - the self-call out of the “xD” tweets; I can’t. why is this video so funny to me
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1:44 - he had been hinting at a rebrand in several other videos before this, including this Dan Takes Quizzes About Himself one
1:46 - repressed it just a month later apparently, haha
2:01 - he has left quite a bit up (and had more at this time), but he did go back and unlist more things about a year after this at the start of 2018
2:08 - ah, HELLO INTERNET. seeing fetus Dan with current Dan is always so strange
2:23 - “...maintain a false façade of perfection all the time” the wide-eyed fear there
2:32 - and there are all the branding things he wanted to kill for a while, but couldn’t with some of them until the end of the TATINOF era
2:36 - the fire in the editing there is great. (also, I spent so long trying to figure out why there was a glass in the fire, until I realized it was sitting on his desk the whole video...I am dumb)
2:39 - “yes this was actually my merch” help 😂😂
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3:02 - really can’t blame his teenage-self who had no idea where that user name would end up for that
3:15 - several of these top google searches referencing the diss track is hilarious
3:32 - “dani snot on fire” poor Dan but also this is still so funny to me
3:55 - he tweeted about his horror of this all the way back in 2015
4:02 - can’t take is own script seriously here
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4:18 - Dan’s got “crazy eyes” so many times in this video
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4:34 - starting to get more open with politics in 2017 too
4:54 - he’s so horrified; poor Dan, again
5:19 - “I will always be ‘danisnotonfire’”...although he did eventually get it changed to youtube.com/danhowell (also, I’m still going to tag these posts for his videos with “danisnotonfire”...sorry Dan)
5:40 - I know he said at one point his family always calls him “Daniel,” but I had forgotten he said this about being “Dan” at school
5:50 - oh Dan 🙁
5:56 - managed to come up with two examples there, lol
6:01 - the flirty tone and eyebrow raise
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6:19 - several old video clips in this one too, actually...this from College Dropout
6:25 - the start of the ramped-up journey to more authenticity
6:58 - “laughing at other peoples’ problems is a very popular kind of entertainment” ...self-aware Dan there
7:09 - I love it 😂
7:24 - sharing the moving news on this channel via a “on the ‘AmazingPhil’ channel” shout-out
7:36 - “I need a houseplant...” which is what Phil told him to put in his background in the moving video
Dan is somehow so funny in this video while still getting his explanation across. I guess I would consider this his first “announcement”-type video as he starts to share more about himself over the next few years after this.
This one I really think got filmed before they were in Australia, but he waited to post until he had a chance to also update social media and everything after the move. And it also makes sense as a sort-of “fresh start” in the new place.
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chisheya · 3 years
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hanahaki disease [niragi x reader x chishiya] highschool au!
Summary: love is reckoned to make us powerful; not susceptible - as much as i tried to convince myself that. as much as i tried to stay strong; tough and heroic, enough to risk it all and let my emotions surge on the exterior. strong enough to be crushed yet again, to love and be loved again - knowing my fragility. 
 i’ve known the agony and lament sufficiently enough that it demolished my sanity, left my soul burning away, gradually fading into ashes and disappearing like dust under the moonlight’s breeze. and the funny unfunny part is - i wish i had told him, perhaps one day i will. 
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‘‘I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. My love bloomed like a flower in my chest.’‘
Tag list: (if you want to be tagged, let me know because the previous post got deleted for some weird reason lol)
Word count: 2.5k
The sun's soft twinkles crawl over house rooftops, and in an early hour, despite it, it still felt like a chilly morning. Early as it is, the neighborhood was caught up with parents rushing with their children, some going to work, some even rushing late. Thankfully, the riots of youngsters were vetoed by the sound of Supermassive Black Hole by Muse playing through my earphones. I was deliberately walking down the alley on my way to school, gripping the hem of my uniform and cursing to myself that this skirt was of no use to at least keep my legs warm. 
The reckless gust reaching from my left side provoked me to jump out of my skin, revolting me from my daydream. 
‘’God's sake-’’ I turn my head only to see Chishiya standing next to me, with a smirk on his lips. The sudden view of him caused me to blush, as my brain screamed oh-look-your-crush. Although you could rarely see this guy smiling and being friendly, his agenda was incompatible. Clever, crucial, and cunning as he is, he always had a special place in my heart. Why, you ask? I'd love to know that too... Maybe because he has been my friend since forever. 
''You must be that cold, huh,'' Chishiya says sarcastically. ''Y-yeah.'' I murmur, ''anyway, again one of early practicals at the hospital today?'' ''Correct.''
''Yikes,'' I add, clicking my tongue, ''good luck.''
''Have you decided if you'll stay here in Tokyo?'' Chishiya pops a question, clearing his throat, as his face remains immersed on the boulevard in front of us. ''Huh, what do you mean?'' I add, looking up at him, wishing he'd look back at me. But he never does... 
''For university.'' ''Oh, that,'' is all I say, before taking the next few seconds to think what to proceed with, ''yeah, Tokyo - I guess, still not sure yet.''
''It better be Tokyo or I'm disowning you.'' He says in a stern voice, delivering it with a smirk as he quickly runs his hand through my hair, resulting in becoming a mess.
''Hey!'' I chuckle, about to return the favor but he succeeded to grab my wrist and stop me just on time. Shucks.
Chishiya and I have been friends since childhood, as our dads have been friends since their early school days as well. He's in his third year in med school and I'm about to graduate in less than a month and enter university in few months. Not to mention, living close enough in the same neighborhood visiting Shuntaro's family every Sunday for dinner was a ritual that my dad, Aguni, and I couldn't stop doing. My mother has had enough of Tokyo so she decided to leave for England. Yeah, pretty simple...it has only been dad and me since. Not like I regret staying with dad, and if there was the father that would win The Dad of the Year award, it would be him. Playing cards meanwhile drinking wine was a post-dinner ritual for our dads, later through time, Chishiya joining them as well. In most cases, I'd end up just observing how they play and anticipating who's going to win. From Aguni being the best to, Shuntaro's dad, a few years later as Chishiya evolved enough his cunning games he beat them in it. He became a card game master, no jokes. 
I didn't notice it has come for the time for us to go different paths, as my school was in the complete opposite direction.
''So,'' I murmur, stopping and turning to face him, ''I guess time to say goodbye.''
''Good luck, kid.'' He says, giving me a soft smile. Ah, if he only knew how something so insignificant and minor to him has such a consequence on my heart. But he never will though. As I know, what we are and what we are not. 
I just smiled as I watch him turn his back on me and leave first. He always leaves first. I stayed few more seconds as his figure slowly fades of to distance I get ready to go my way.
                                                        ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 
 After the last class, I choose to go to a nearby library to catch up on some assignments. The library is a soft of the enormous coffee shop yet one can stay all day and feel good even if one buys nothing at all. That's the discrepancy. It is a place of welcome for everyone rather than for "customers." This is not a money-nexus venue yet a love-nexus space, and that makes it a real treasure in this city.
I was relinquished and dazzled by the book in front of me, until the moment someone’s voice yanks me out of my thoughts.
''Since classes are over, want to grab lunch?'' I feel a hand placing softly on my left shoulder as a soft boyish voice peaks behind me.
''Niragi,'' my lips stretch in a smile as I embrace my best friend in a hug, ''of course, you mind if Chishiya tags along as well?''
''Oh,'' he mouths, providing it with a vague look, as I feel him stiffen up a bit and breaking the hug before proceeding, ''Chishiya..too?'' 
''Yeah!'' 
''Sure,'' he says, providing it with a soft smile, ''definitely..'' 
''Great, I'll let him know then.'' 
                                                        ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 
Niragi and I walked after school side by side, on the way to Shibuya where we agreed to meet up with Chishiya. As we have arrived early, we stand by a big poster advertisement. I gently lean my back onto it, facing the industrious avenues of Shibuya wandering with people. Niragi, leaning as well, right next to me. 
''So, have you decided? Is it going to be Tokyo or London?'' 
''Hm,'' I murmur as his question breaks me out of my trance, ''regarding studies?'' He nods. 
''Honestly, not sure,'' I hesitate, before proceeding, ''but I'd love to stay in Tokyo.'' This was not a lie, but London on the other hand, was just an excuse in case my health gets worse. An agreement was made with my dad that it'd be best to stay there with my mom and focus on getting better. 
''Tokyo.'' I sigh, still caught up thinking what if I have to end up having to go back to London. What do I do then? And more importantly, what do I tell them? The minor, simple thought of lying to the people I deeply care about stings. 
''And you?'' 
''Tokyo,'' he says softly while looking down, smiling - as the thought if he had something that binds him to dwell in this city, ''I already got accepted in for game engineering.'' 
I knock him softly on top of his head, standing on my tippy toes. Though he was portrayed as the delicate and sweet guy he is, he was taller than both Chishiya and me. 
''Ouch,'' he exclaims as his hand rests on top of his head, my action catching him off guard, ''why did you do that?'' 
''Why haven't you told me, little idiot?'' 
''I planned to,'' he giggles, a wide smile as I've never seen scattering across his delicate features, ''I was waiting for you to confirm you got in your desired major as well.'' 
Yeah, I have, Niragi. It's just that I might not even be able to go because of my health. The phrases, the verdict, that I desired I could have mouthed out. But I couldn't, not now. Not when we're about part ways, and the way I want to remember these recollections is by them as their happy-selves, us cycling through alleys of Tokyo, eating noodles in the park during chilly nights, by city lights as the background noise of crickets was vetoed by our laughter. The recollections, moments I'll protect in my psyche permanently. 
I just remained silent, looking at my friend as he was smiling and looking off to distance till he started waving to someone. I shift my gaze only to see Chishiya's figure approaching us, hands in his pockets as usual. 
''Hello there, peasants.'' Chishiya teases, as he finally approaches us.
''Excuse me, lord Shuntaro.'' Niragi scoffs at him, crossing his arms.
''So where will we head to?'' 
''Whoa, Morizono, not even embracing your friend in a warm hug and you're already talking about eating,'' Chishiya says falsifying pain in his voice, ''I'm hurt.''
 ''Chishiya,'' I let out, rolling my eyes at his statement, ''I know you don't do hugs.'' I proceed, nudging his forearm slightly, hoping that the warmth I felt growing in my cheeks wasn't showing. 
''Fuunji or Ichiran Shibuya?'' Niragi says, clicking his tongue. 
''Fuunji,'' I mutter, at the same time as Chishiya adds, ''Ichiran.'' Our eyes met instantly as we both realized our choices were different.
Do I have to mention that I'm probably already blushing? No, because heck - yes I am. 
Oh boy, here we go. Let him have his way, Y/N. 
As you always do. 
''You know what, let's go to Ichiran,'' I exclaim, looking in between my best friends waiting for them to agree. 
''Ichiran it is,'' Niragi exclaims. 
A little while later, our food has finally arrived. The moment it lands on the table, Niragi digs at his sweet and sour soup and pulls out all the cubes of carrot. I don't say anything, I really couldn't care less about table manners and there's always something interesting going on in his head. Chishiya calm and collected as he is, starts eating at a slow pace. After swallowing his first bite, he breaks the silence, ''we must go somewhere to celebrate your birthday, Y/N.'' 
''I'm not sure-''
Niragi peeks up at me with sticky fingers in his mouth. Meanwhile, Chishiya adds, through the mouthful, that I could just about make out the name "Kyoto."
As my mouth was full of food as well, I just nod seriously. 
"That's a great idea, Chishiya. I never thought of that." Niragi grins, still with the fingers in his mouth, then he scoops them up and lines them neatly next to his stocking.
Chishiya holds out a cup of soju, "for Y/N." Niragi's hand comes over and snatches it up, his grin as wide as his cheeks will stretch, and scatters back.
Chishiya and I just exchanged looks, laughing at his silliness.
We drank soju, we were already merry and full, we told the most terrible of jokes. That was us. Casual, informal, yet caring enough to make the time we spend together joyful. 
                                                         ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ 
After grabbing lunch with Chishiya and Niragi, I headed straight home. The thought of visiting Kyoto for my birthday with them was still bouncing on my mind. The thing is, how to bring it up to Aguni? Hm? As loving and fond as he is of both of them, the thought of sending his only daughter away with two boys on a trip probably sounded far away from a brilliant idea. Sigh, I guess it'll take a lot to convince him. 
''Dad, I'm home!'' I exclaim, meanwhile closing the doors behind me and taking off my shoes in the hallway. 
''Someone's back home early, huh?'' Aguni says chuckling, as he plants a soft kiss on my forehead. 
''Yup, something smells delightful,'' I say, meanwhile slapping my hands in excitement and taking my seat. 
''Ah, you sneaky,'' He adds, taking the seat as well across me, ''it's your favorite - pad thai chicken wok.'' 
''So,'' I began, meanwhile randomly picking food with chopsticks in my plate, ''I have a question.'' 
''Yes?'' Aguni murmurs, mouthful, gazing up at me. ''So you know that my birthday is next week...'' I say awkwardly, placing my chopsticks gently on the table. 
''Of course, how would I forget my daughter's birthday?'' He scoffs, butthurt that his daughter thinks he's that forgetful. 
''No, of course not.'' I chuckle, ''but I did want to ask you something, uh...'' 
''Go ahead, silly.'' 
Just say it. Now or never. And I do - ''I've been thinking of visiting Kyoto with Chishiya and Niragi-'' 
''Not happening.'' 
''But-'' 
''You? On a trip? With two boys?'' his voice stern as he glares up at me, causing me to swallow, ''you must be out of your mind to think I'll let you, Y/N. Boys your age are wild.'' 
''No, there's going to be more of other friends...too, from school.'' I start, slightly panicking as I was also trying to think of the ways to get him to approve, ''not just Chishiya and Niragi, although you know they're my closest friends.'' I proceed further, looking around the food on the table, as I noticed he has almost cleared out his plate, and yet there was still chicken left in mine. Splendid, a perfect way to bribe him now.
''Plus,'' I mutter, as I start taking out the chicken from my plate, putting on his, his eyes now fully focused on that chicken, ''I know you trust them enough to protect me if anything happens, right?'' I grin, awkwardly. 
''Only because they are aware who's your father and someone not to mess with.'' He adds, still not convinced enough, but still taking the small pieces of chicken with his chopsticks. 
''Uh, yeah,'' I murmur, as I watch him, eating up those last few pieces of chicken as if they are his last, ''beside your protectiveness, what do you think?''
''Y/N, you've forgot one thing.'' Aguni says with a serious tone, placing down his chopsticks. 
''What?'' I question, acting dumb. Expecting him to answer, he just remains silent and gives me an even worse glare now, ''doctor's appointment,'' I add, ''come on, it doesn't have to be next week as well. Just check with them if they can postpone it.''   
He preserves silent, still staring up at me with a serious look on his face. Sigh.
''A trip with my friends is more important. Not to mention, it's our last as we're all parting ways soon because of university.''  
''To you. But to me, your health is more important Y/N.''
''I...understand, dad,'' I sigh, looking up at him, falsifying a smile, ''but look at me, I'm feeling fine. I've never been better.''
''Same as you claimed in the past, until it happened again and I was close to losing you forever.'' He asserts, this time his voice louder than before.
''Dad...cheer up,'' I exclaim, as I reach out my hand, placing it on top of his, ''it's...just because it happened then, doesn't mean it will happen again.''
''You don't know that. Your condition is serious-''
''I'll take care of myself. Alright?'' I murmur, squeezing his hand, ''please, can I go?''   
''Alright, alright. Under one condition, take care of yourself and as soon as you get back we're going to the doctors. Promise?''
''I promise.'' I holler, lunging from my seat to hug him before storming off to my room. As soon as I shut the door behind me, I lean my back on it. 
There was an eerie sentiment I felt within, a good sort though - just not sure for what exact reason yet. It felt like it was the calling card of an adventure, paths awaiting, what will transpire. Whatever was ahead could be a great challenge, and there could be tears, but it was an exploration to take and so I smiled. The inklings would come, perhaps when I’d least expected it, so I’m ready to take this leap of faith.
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yukidragon · 3 years
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Our Life Snippet - Spoiling Dinner
So... been a while since I shared a slice of my fan novelization of Our Life: Beginnings and Always, hasn’t it? A whole month in fact. Yikes! Don’t worry, I’m still working on it, just, ya know, chronic illness. I’ve been getting less spoons to work with these past few weeks. Don’t be surprised if the next clip takes another month to appear.
Anyhoo, onto the clip itself. I figure why not show off some more drama from Step 2? It was referenced in the Adrift snippet that Jamie chose their thirteenth summer to be the time to reveal the big deal Cliff offered her to Cove, so I figured why not give a peek at that? So here’s another slice of Step 2′s moment, Dinner.
As always, thank you to everyone who enjoys reading my work and giving me such lovely feedback, especially the game’s lovely creators @gb-patch. I can’t thank you all enough for encouraging me to keep working on this self-indulgent little fan project.
...
Despite the fact that Cove and Elizabeth had never been friends, and it was rare they even really got along, it was always interesting to see and hear about how Jamie interacted with her big sister. The relationship Jamie and Elizabeth had was always something he could never quite get a grasp on.
“I can’t even imagine what it’d be like to have a sibling,” he admitted after a moment.
Jamie took some time to give serious thought to that statement. It was a tricky thing to explain to someone without a point of reference. A sibling relationship wasn’t anything like a parental one, and it wasn’t really like making friends with a kid who just happened to live in the same house either.
It was also hard for Jamie to want to touch on a topic that would bring the mood down. Still, Cove did remind her recently that he wanted to listen to her problems…
“It’s complicated,” Jamie eventually concluded. She took her time to choose her words with care as she focused her gaze on the tank again, though she didn’t really watch the fish this time. “I love Elizabeth, and when we were really little, we were best friends. Then she started making friends at school like Shiloh and, well… It’s just over time, I guess we just grew apart. She’s still a lot of fun to be around, but only when she wants to be there.” Her voice quieted a little. “But now, she barely feels like hanging out with me.”
Cove couldn’t think of how to respond right away as he grew aware of the melancholy that had settled over his best friend. He knew Jamie and Elizabeth didn’t spend all that much time together, but he hadn’t realized it was something that bothered Jamie. He took his time to consider what to say, pursing his lips as he tried to figure out the best way to help Jamie with something he never had to deal with before.
“Maybe you should talk to her about how you feel about it sometime,” Cove suggested, though with an uncertain note to his voice. He couldn’t even imagine how that talk might go. “If it’s really bothering you, I’m pretty sure Elizabeth would wanna know.”
Jamie considered that before shaking her head a little. “It’s fine. It’s not really that big a deal. Besides, I don’t think that’d really work.” She favored Cove with a bent smile. “I mean, this is Elizabeth we’re talking about here.”
Cove had to admit Jamie had a point there. Although not intentionally malicious, Elizabeth did have a tendency to overlook other peoples’ feelings when it came to doing what she wanted. “I guess you’re right about that.”
Jamie turned to face Cove properly as she strengthened her smile, feeling compelled to soften the awkward atmosphere she had created. “Don’t worry about it. Having a sibling is still pretty great anyway.” She playfully nudged him with her elbow. “And besides, I already have the most amazing best friend in the entire world by my side.”
Cove felt warmth fill his cheeks at that, and he nudged Jamie back softly in return with a shy smile of his own. “I feel the same way.”
Jamie relaxed a bit now that the mood had returned to something more jovial. “And in case you were wondering what it’s like to have two moms, it’s absolutely the best.”
Cove nodded. Even if Elizabeth could be a challenge to get along with at times, he had always known Noelani and Pamela to be friendly and encouraging, if a bit strict with their rules. The Leimomi family were overall probably the best neighbors he ever had, especially Jamie. “That’s… interesting. I think your family is cool.”
Jamie flashed Cove a grin, glad he agreed. It was impossible not to feel like she hit the jackpot when it came to the family that she ended up with. She couldn’t consider having better parents, or even a better sibling.
Of course, talking about parents brought Jamie’s mind back to the dinner she was going to have with Cove and his. Things were weird between the three of them in ways she didn’t know how to touch on.
The little surprise Cliff pulled at the beginning of summer had just made things even more strained. Things felt tense in a way that reminded Jamie of when Cove first moved to Sunset Bird.
That line of thought brought Jamie back to the first time she met Cliff and the deal he had offered her.
Jamie glanced at Cove out of the corner of her eye, noticing that he had gone back to looking at his fish. He probably never learned that ever happened. She doubted that Cliff ever mentioned it, and as for her…
It bothered her. The incident hung over her head for the past five years, popping up in her mind at awkward moments that left her feeling guilty despite the fact that she never took the twenty dollars Cliff had offered her.
When Jamie was little, she held the secret back from Cove for fear that he might decide not to be her friend anymore. He resented being pressured into becoming friends with Lizzie and Shiloh, so he never did. Granted, that was more because he just didn’t click with either of them than due to parental meddling, but still… In her eight-year-old mind, she was convinced that if Cove ever learned that Cliff wanted to pay her to be his friend, he would be so upset that he would never want to see her again.
That fear had disappeared over time as their relationship grew stronger, but that didn’t make the subject trouble her any less.
Jamie was keeping a secret from Cove - a big one. Usually, they told each other everything from silly jokes to their darkest thoughts. The only other thing she kept from him was just how deep her feelings were for him, and she already had a plan in motion for how she was going to tell him about that.
Much like with her crush, Jamie had sought out Lee’s advice about the incident with the twenty dollars. Her cousin had encouraged her to just tell Cove about it, if only because it bothered her for so long and wouldn’t stop haunting her.
Besides, Cove deserved to know that his dad did something like that behind his back. This incident with Kyra proved that Cliff was still pulling stunts like this, and not just on him.
Jamie knew that if the positions were reversed, she would want to know the truth about something as big as this, and as soon as possible.
It had been five years. They weren’t eight anymore. Telling Cove wouldn’t destroy their friendship.
She had to tell him.
Jamie placed her hands on the mattress to steady herself, drawing one back into her lap when she accidentally brushed it against Cove’s thigh. The unintended touch drew his gaze back to her - she could feel it even through her closed eyes. She took in a deep, steadying breath as she prepared herself.
The quiet that had settled between them was comfortable, Cove thought, finding it a sharp contrast to the uneasy atmosphere that had overtaken his home since the beginning of summer. Jamie’s presence made things easier on him - it always did.
That was why Cove didn’t expect to see Jamie looking so tense all of a sudden. He could tell that she was building herself up for something, but he couldn’t imagine what. When she opened her eyes and looked at him, her expression was solemn and tainted with nervousness.
“Cove,” Jamie said before pausing to wet her lips. “There’s something… I-I have something important to tell you. Something… something you’re not gonna like.”
The undercurrent of unease to the way Jamie spoke troubled Cove almost as much as what she said. He turned to give her his full attention, his knees bumping against hers in the process. “What is it?”
For a moment, Jamie could only stare into her best friend’s ocean blue eyes. Cove waited patiently for her to find her voice again, but the longer it took her, the greater the tension grew. She could see it in the way his brow furrowed and his lips curled down into a frown.
Please don’t get mad about this, Jamie thought desperately, feeling as though her stomach was tying itself in knots. She was already regretting her decision, but she had already said too much; she couldn’t just drop the topic as if it never happened. She had to take another deep breath to steady her nerves as they started to fray on her.
“It’s… um… it’s about way back when you moved here,” Jamie finally said, practically forcing the words out. “Before we met, I actually met your dad first and…” She started to falter as what she wanted to say started to fall apart in her mind, and she scrambled to right herself. “It was… your dad he… um, well…”
Jamie had to pause to gulp down another lungful of air, feeling as though there suddenly wasn’t enough around her.
Cove started bracing himself for whatever Jamie was struggling to tell him. The more she spoke, the more nervous she grew, and it was making him anxious as well, impressing upon him the seriousness of what she wanted to tell him.
Whatever this was, it was big, and he needed to be ready to deal with it.
“Your dad offered me twenty dollars to be friends with you.”
The words came out of Jamie in a rush then hung so heavily in the air between them that the already thick atmosphere turned suffocating.
Cove locked up. For a moment he couldn’t move, couldn’t even think. What Jamie told him made everything else disappear.
His dad… bribed Jamie to be his friend?
Jamie held her breath as she waited for Cove to respond. He sat still, so utterly still. He was no longer looking at her, but through her, as if she ceased to exist. His face, always so easy for her to read, was uncharacteristically devoid of expression.
Then Cove was moving. He said nothing as he rose from the bed before bolting from the room.
For a moment, Jamie froze up as well. Shock kept her rooted to the bed even after Cove disappeared around the corner.
This was… oh no. Oh no, no, no, no, no!
Jamie tore after Cove once she could move again, panic giving her feet wings. “Cove!”
Cove didn’t hear Jamie. He didn’t even hear his parents as they bantered while setting the table, oblivious to what was happening. All he could hear was the blood rushing in his ears as he reached the living room.
For a moment, Cove could only stand there and glare at his father. His entire body was a tense coil, ready to spring. His hands faintly shook from how tightly he clenched them into fists at his sides.
Although Jamie caught up to Cove, she froze again just short of him. She didn’t need to see his face to know exactly what he was feeling - he was furious.
“Hey, what’s up?” Kyra asked as she finished setting down the last glass on the table. “When did you start running in the house?”
Cliff flashed Cove a wink as he wagged the spoons he carried at his son. “Are you that famished?”
The friendly banter didn’t register with Cove at all. There was room for nothing else inside his mind but the betrayal he felt towards his father that sent his entire body quaking with rage.
It had only just begun to hit Cliff and Kyra that something was wrong when Cove took a step forward.
“You paid Jamie to be friends with me?!” Cove shouted as he glared daggers straight into his father’s widening eyes.
Cliff froze, the spoons dropping from his hands onto the table with a clatter. He looked like a helpless deer caught in the headlights of a speeding semi.
Kyra recovered from the shock first, and rounded on her ex-husband. “Clifford!” she shouted as outrage overtook her as well. “Are you serious?!”
Out of reflex, Cliff turned his wide eyes to Kyra, blinking at her rapidly. “It was only one time!”
The blurted admission left Kyra reeling back, aghast.
Cliff raised his hands up in a defensive gesture, his eyes darting between his ex-wife and his son as they both stared him down. “I-it seemed like a good idea when it happened.”
As the shock waned, Kyra brought a hand over her eyes. Her jaw was set, her patience frayed, as anger slowly gave way to disappointment.
Cliff bowed his head as he rubbed the back of his neck, almost shrinking in on himself before their eyes. The fact that Kyra accepted that he would do something like this so easily was the most crushing part.
For all his anger, Cove had nothing else he could say to his father after his initial outburst. He could only stand there, fuming silently during his parents’ short exchange. The tension in his body was so strong it was painful, his eyebrows furrowed hard and his eyes trembling as he continued to glare at his father.
That was all Cliff had to say for himself? That he ‘only’ did it once? That it ‘seemed like a good idea’? What part of this could be considered ‘good’ at all?!
Jamie could only watch helplessly from the sidelines at the disaster she had created. She had been afraid that Cove might be angry or hurt to hear about the deal his dad offered to her, but he took it far worse than she ever imagined. That wasn’t even going into how badly Kyra or Cliff were feeling about it all.
Jamie felt so bad for Cove. She wished for the power to rewind time to five minutes ago so that she could choose to just keep her big mouth shut. Having a stupid secret about something she didn’t even agree to hanging over her head was nothing compared to the pain that she had inflicted on her best friend and his family.
Everything was horrible, and it was all her fault.
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sunshinetoshi · 3 years
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saying and staying in love
timeskip!oikawa x reader (2.4k words)
tw: angst, cheating, arguing/fighting
A/N: OKAY so this one caused me SO MUCH pain. it took me weeks to write through it (lol i also cried proofreading it today) xx this is part two of a (5) part fic but i don’t think it’s necessary to read all of them or read them in order. they’re split up to be an easier read but, if you’re interested, i’ll be linking the other parts at the end of each part as they come out. also tysm for all the support on the first part yall made me real soft yikes
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That night you didn't say much to Oikawa. You didn't question him about any of it, afraid of the lies he might craft. That would make it all the more painful.
You used the same lame tummy-problems excuse on him and he reluctantly gave you the space you ask for but other than that he acted like everything was normal, like everything was okay.
The next morning he gave you a kiss goodbye before he went to volleyball practice. "And where are you off to today, my love."
You tried not to make the tightened grip on the mug you're holding obvious. "Oh I'm stopping by an old high school friend's place after my classes. It's been a while since we caught up."
It was a half truth. Oikawa smiled at you and told you to be safe before heading out the door.
You did catch up with a high school friend. Yesterday evening before Oikawa got home you made a phone call to a friend who knew the girl Oikawa was with. And he told you where she worked.
-----
That’s how you later found yourself outside a hair salon, telling yourself this was a bad idea. You knew it was. But the thought of coming here was the only thing that stopped the incessant tears you shed after Oikawa left earlier.
You started tearing up again and you turned back around to head to your car. You couldn't do this.
But then you had no choice.
"Oh my- Y/L/N?" It was her. Headed toward the hair salon doors with a lunch box. She must've just come from break. She got closer to you. "It is you!"
You meekly waved at her and tried to muster a smile.
When she finally reached you she frowned. "Hey are you okay? Have you been crying?"
"Yeah, I'm-" your tears threatened to spill. "Actually, I'm not." You said it quietly but she heard you.
And she wrapped her arms around you as you sobbed. You remembered that she'd been known as a kind girl and a sweetheart in high school, of course she would be comforting you. A wave of insecurity washed over you and your hurt deepened. She was an amazing person.
When you quieted a bit she spoke up, "Do you want to talk about it?"
And you didn't. Not with her. But you knew you had to.
Your voice was so shaky when you spoke. "I’ve been dating Oikawa Tooru for the past two years."
Her eyes widened but she listened intently as you spoke. You explained how you saw them yesterday. How you haven't spoken to Oikawa yet. How you were sorry to bombard her at her work. How much you loved him. How you were so broken.
When you finished and looked at her she calmly asked to see pictures of you and Oikawa from the past two years. You obliged and flipped through photos on your phone. It was hard to avoid the look of joy the two of you had in the pictures.
She sighed and rubbed her temples. Then she looked at you earnestly. "I am so sorry Y/N. He told me he wasn't seeing anyone right now. If I knew he was dating someone I would never have done this." She went on to tell you how they ran into each other two months ago. And they’d been talking ever since. When she finished she glanced away embarrassed. "What are you going to do now?"
You took a while to respond. It was the first decision you made yesterday after you saw them. You didn’t want to say it aloud.
"I'm leaving him."
With the way you clenched your fist you could feel your fingernails sinking into your palms. You hated how you spoke, it wasn't your voice. It was so much colder and there was an emptiness to it. What you hated more was what you were saying. Will it be the right decision? Will you be able to do it?
You're brought out of your thoughts when you noticed her nodding her head.
"I think you should," she gave a sympathetic smile before quickly continuing, "And don't worry about me and him, that's over now. I would never knowingly date such a jerk."
Part of you was relieved and wanted to praise her. And another part of you wanted to defend Oikawa and say he wasn't a jerk. But you didn't have to choose which to go with because she continued.
"He disrespected both of us, Y/N. And I'm just really sorry."
Again you felt the need to defend Oikawa. But she was right. He did disrespect you. You and everything your relationship was. 
-----
When you heard the jingling of keys by the door you knew it was Oikawa entering your apartment.
You picked yourself off of the floor where you'd been slumped over since you got home, thinking of how this might play out.
His eyes lit up and his shoulders relaxed when his gaze landed on you.
And you were confused. How could he still look at you with so much warmth after what he’d been doing?
He immediately frowns when he notices your tear-stained cheeks and glossy eyes. He dropped his gym bag and rushed over to you.
"Hey, what's wrong? What happened?"
You burst into tears and hid your face in your hands.
Oikawa wrapped his arms around your shaking body. He shushed you and pet your hair to calm you down.
You wanted to stop him, to push him away. But you sank into his chest and cried even harder.
How did it happen that the person who you could always go to at your very worst was now the very person who had put you in that state?
“Love, tell me what happened.”
You shook your head.
He sighed, “Please, you’re worrying me. I want to know.”
You lifted your head off his chest and he loosened his hold on you. You didn’t look into his eyes.
“I saw,” you started but you hiccup from your crying. You tried again but all that came out was incoherent mumbling as tears started again.
“Y/N I can’t understand you. What did you see?”
You brought your head up straight. You managed to stop the sobs enough to hear the breathy, quiet sentence echo in your living room. “I said I saw you cheating on me.”
Watching his eyes widen snapped something inside you. You began to ramble, not perceptive to Oikawa shaking his head or his repeated whispers saying ‘No, oh no.’ You didn’t move as he grabbed your hand and gave it a kiss or when he dried your tears and ran his fingers through your hair.
You can only hear the words fighting, rather spilling their way out of your mouth. Bits and pieces of what you say register in your head and the images replay and hurt you all over again.
“You lied to me..I was at the shopping center..I saw you kiss her..she made you smile..you played with her hair..you came home... kissing me with those same lips that touched her..you acted like everything was okay-”
“Everything is okay!”
His words brought you out of the trance-like state you were in. And your eyes darted to him. You got goosebumps at the bellowing of your voice. “How is everything okay? Everything is not okay and apparently things haven’t been okay, have they? For two months.”
“How did-”
“She told me! I saw her and she told me how you ran into her two months ago. How you told her you were single. For two months you’ve been hiding things from me and lying to me and treating me like I’m some idiot you can fool and the worse part is you did. I was an idiot. I didn’t see any of it until I saw you two in front of me.” Your throat was in so much pain from the yelling. You tried to catch your breath through the congestion from crying. A sudden tiredness from the constant crying hit you and now when you spoke it was weaker. Broken. “Why did you have to cheat Tooru? If you wanted to take a break you could’ve talked to me, if you wanted me to change, I would’ve..”
Oikawa jumped in. “I didn’t want to take a break. And I would never want you to change,” he cupped your cheeks with both hands. He was crying and his eyes were desperate. “Please, please listen to me.”
This time you did push his hands away. You backed away from him a couple of steps. “Are you in love with her?”
You spent hours of the day preparing yourself for this, preparing to shield yourself from getting too hurt when he said yes.
“No, of course not.”
And somehow that answer was worse.
He closed the space between you and held your arms as he spoke. “Y/N, please listen to me. I made a mistake, it was a stupid, stupid decision. I should’ve never talked to her. You’re the only one I love. I never felt anything for her that came close to the love I feel for you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” He had begun sobbing and he fell to his knees, repeating those three words. 
Your hand covered your mouth at the sight. 
“Tooru.”
He lifted his head to look at you.
“I am in love with you.” No matter how wrecked your voice was it was still so pure and genuine. Because it was true. You were still in love with him. You waited for his answer.
“I love you too, I love you so much!” He reached forward and wrapped his arms around your hips. You could feel his tears through your shirt as he put his head against your stomach. “Please, Y/N. Please forgive me. We can work this out. I know we can. Please, my love. We can work through this.”
A part of you was screaming that what you were about to do wasn’t fair. That it was a petty reason. That he can’t read your mind and know what you were looking for. That you should lift him up and tell him you two could work this out. It was your heart screaming.
But your gut was telling you to stand firm. You had a plan going into this. And this part was going exactly as planned. And you hated it.
He said he loved you but he didn’t say he was in love with you. It was a small detail and he may have easily just been overwhelmed to think about semantics but to you it was indescribable what that phrase meant to you. That phrase was at the core of this relationship. It was an exchange of words you two have had everyday for the past two years. If anything it was more than that.
You told yourself earlier that you were leaving. You knew you had to. No matter how you felt, you were leaving. And the one phrase that maybe, just maybe, could have redeemed you and him from this pain wasn’t said. It’s final, you were leaving.
So you took a deep shaky breath and couldn’t help but tangle your fingers in his hair. One last time. “I’m in love with you Tooru.”
You shut your eyes before looking at him again. “But I don’t think we can work this out.” You removed his tightened grip on your legs and bent down across from him. Your own tears fell down your face but still you focus on wiping the tears off his cheeks. “I’m sorry. But I can’t let myself stay. I can’t do that to myself. Even though it’s going to hurt like hell,” you laugh but it was strained and empty. 
And you could see the moment that Oikawa realized it for himself. He broke you and nothing he said would make you stay. You’ve made the decision. You two sat quietly, mourning what you both realize you’ve lost. “I’m going to miss you.”
Oikawa’s breaths suddenly became laborious and this time you wrapped your arms around him and let him sob, trying to soothe him.
A while passed and you lifted his head. “Tooru, I want you to listen to me, okay? You are one of the most strong-hearted people I have ever been blessed to know. And you are going to Argentina. I want you to go. And I want you to show them what you’re made of. You have worked so damn hard for this and I can’t be prouder than I already am. I want you to know I will always be cheering for you. Alright?”
He knew you were saying goodbye. He was clinging to every word you said. “Are you leaving right now?” His voice was barely above a whisper.
You smile sadly, “I don’t think I can sleep here anymore.” You look around the apartment that, despite being yours, felt like the home you two were building together.
You moved even closer to him and looked at him. You took each other in. You sighed and leaned your forehead on his. “Please take care of yourself, Tooru.”
“Only if you promise to do the same.” He lifted your head up and brushed his fingers on your cheek, “I’m so sorry Y/N.”
You nodded. “I know.” You did. “I know,” you repeated. You felt your eyes water again. “Tooru, I know I’m leaving but please know I don’t hate you. I know you’re going to beat yourself up and I can’t handle that thought so please don’t be so hard on yourself. Because I don’t hate you. I am still so deeply in love with you.”
You looked at the love of your life. You leaned forward and softly placed your lips on his. You never thought about what your last kiss with Oikawa would be like, you never imagined his kisses would be limited. And while this wasn’t the most clean or romantic kiss, you two could feel the passion. As it progressed you two tried to convey in this one kiss what the other person meant to you. And it was all there. The pain and the guilt but more importantly the care and the love.
You pulled away first and steadied your breath. “Tooru.”
He looked into your eyes.
“I don’t want your last words to be ‘I’m sorry.’”
He looked down in guilt but you lifted him gently by the chin and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek. “I know it’s selfish but can you tell me you’re in love with me.”
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taglist: @daichis-kitty​ @elianetsantana​ @rrroadkill​ @minnieminnie00-got7​ @dudejuststop​ @tsukkisfatsimp​ @sakusasonlywife​ @kotarosbabygirl​
if you want to be added to the taglist for this fic lmk xx thank you for reading
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part one // part two // part three // part four // part five
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boomboombakugou · 3 years
Note
can i request like shoto, bakugou, and midoriya meeting their girlfriend’s ex boyfriend. but like she’s still good friends with him. i wanna see some jealous bakugou 🤗 sorry if this doesn’t make sense ,:)
this is so fun omg
Big 3’s Reactions to Meeting Your Ex that You’re Still Friends With
Pairs: Midoriya x Reader, Bakugou x Reader, Todoroki x Reader
Warnings: swearing
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~Izuku Midoriya~
Midoriya loves going out. Going shopping with you, going to the movies with you, going to get food with you. He says that you already spend so much time at UA, so going out is fun.
You don’t mind. You just love spending time with him. He heard about this new ice cream place opening up just a few blocks away. You guys planned to walk their after school.
“I heard they have like cotton candy flavor. Which sounds kinda gross, but people have different tastes.” He blabbed the whole way there. He always sounded so anxious yet excited about everything. His voice is one of your favorite things around him.
You get to the building and hear a family voice, “Y/N? Oh my god- Y/N is that you?” You turn around and see him. Kai. You’re ex boyfriend from before you even went to UA.
You guys also dated a while, while you attended, but the distance became too much and it just didn’t work out. You remained friends because you had been friends for so long before that, and you wouldn’t let this ruin it.
You had told Kai about how you and Midoriya were planning to come here, but that’s all you did. You just told him. You didn’t invite him or anything.
“What are you doing here?” You ask confused. He claims he was just “passing by” but he lives nowhere near here. You’ve known him long enough to know when he was lying and he was.
Deku asks who he is. He seems more excited than he does worried tho. You explain to him that Kai is just a childhood friend who you still keep in touch with sometimes.
Kai wraps his arm around your shoulder, “And ex boyfriend. Yeah we had a thing. We were each others first loves.” He says giddily. You sigh and scoot away, causing his arms to drop.
You saw Midoriya’s face drop, but it quickly went back to a smile. He was faking it. “O-oh. That’s nice! And you guys still keep in touch? Wow that- that’s nice. How coincidental that you’re here too.” He squeaks out, hand scratching his neck.
You stand uncomfortably. Kai is just smiling and not giving a single care in the world about how awkward he just made things. “Come on! We’re here to get ice cream right!” He says, ignoring Midoriya but inviting him at the same time.
You stay back and try to tell Kai that you don’t want to. This was your special time with Midoriya. Midoriya widens his fake smile, “No! It’s fine. Let’s go. Y- you guys can uh- you can catch up! I don’t uh.. and I third wheeling or? We could all three go in.” You knew he didn’t want to. He was so uncomfortable, but he just didn’t want to dismiss your old childhood friend because he doesn’t want to make you sad.
You sigh as Kai grabs your arm and drags you into the shop. Midoriya following behind. You order your stuff and sit down at a table.
Midoriya tries to speak first but Kai overlaps him, “So you guys are dating? Weird. I never saw you to end up with the... you know- him, type” Midoriya laughed. Awkwardly.
“W- what’s the me type?” He tried to make it seem like he was joking, but you could tell he was genuinely curious and worried.
When you and Kai were dating, you would always talk about how you could never date a “nice guy” or a “good guy.” You didn’t use to want to be a hero. In reality though, Midoriya is your perfect match. You don’t want to be with guys who can’t take anything serious or are super selfish. You love that Midoriya wants to help people. He inspires you.
“Oh you know.. crybabies. ‘I wanna be a hero’ type beat.” Kai mocked. He squeezed your eyes tight. Why did he have to show up. Midoriya’s eyes dimmed, “Oh.... yeah. Haha.”
You looked at your phone and pretended to be shocked, “Oh! Wow would you look at that. Momo just texted me. Special hero training starting in 5 minutes. Gotta go. Come on Izuku.” He looked confused because he knew you didn’t have anything to do today, but complied without question.
You didn’t even say goodbye to Kai. You just left in a hurry.
The walk back was silent. His enthusiasm was gone. “Izuku. I’m so sorry about Kai. The whole crybaby thing was so unnecessary. I don’t know why he showed up. I’ll stop talking to him.” You said softly.
He half smiled, “No it’s okay. That’s your friend. I don’t wanna ruin your friendship. You’ve known him longer than me.” You could hear the pain in his voice on the last line.
He sighed and took out your phone.
• Y/N: don’t ever talk ab Izuku like that again. Don’t contact me anymore xoxo
And just like that, you blocked him. Midoriya protested but you assured him that it wasn’t his fault. Kai was problematic and you didn’t want him in your life anyway. This was just the last straw.
“We can go back tomorrow. Maybe I’ll try cotton candy.” You say as you get back to the campus.
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~Katsuki Bakugou~
UA was hosting a little “party” for any students who were interested in attending next year. As the spotlight class of the year, Class 1-A was assigned to the welcoming booths.
Luckily, You got paired up with Bakugou. He didn’t want to do it at all, but was less mad when he found out you guys would be together.
Basically all you had to do was greet the people and answer any questions they had. Pretty boring, but you didn’t mind. You liked new people.
After like 20 minutes of greeting and answering, you heard your name being my called. A fingers got closer and closer in the distance and the voice got louder.
“Hey Y/N. I was looking all around for you.” He said out of breath. You were confused, “Kian? What are you doing here? I didn’t know you were thinking of applying here.” Bakugou stared at both of you. He looked so annoyed.
Before he could even respond, Bakugou interrupted, “Who are you?” he always sounded so intimidated. Kian wasn’t easily intimidated tho. He always stood there with a goofy smile like he didn’t have a care in the world.
“I am Y/N’s ex boyfriend. We had a pretty big thing. Each other’s first loves. Whatever, no biggie. Don’t be getting all sweaty by my presence.” Kian said, leaning into the booth.
Bakugou scoffed, “Nothing about you makes me nervous. Run along.” Kian laughed and said he had questions about the school. You rubbed your forehead. You could tell when he was plotting something. And he was.
Bakugou gave him a blank glare. “So... who was that guy they chained up that the sports festival? I got second hand embarrassment through the screen. Weird-o.” Kai mocked.
You could feel Bakugou getting warmer next to you. “Katsuki. Please just-” You started.
Kian cut you off, “Oh! This is Katsuki? Bakugou? Yikes Y/N. What a downgrade. How are you not embarrassed walking around with him?” He always made things seem like a joke
Shut your fucking mouth extra! Don’t call me Katsuki! You’re nothing, but an insignificant speck in society! Talk to me when you’re a real fucking hero.” Bakugou snapped.
Kian backed up in fake intimidation. “Woah calm down boom boom boy. The Leauge of Villians might here and kidnap you again.” He said.
You could hear, see, feel, and TASTE bakugou’s anger rising. He grabbed the guy by his collar and shoved him against the wall, “I’ll blow your ass into shreads if you say one more fucking word to me or my girlfriend. I’m not afraid to kill you.”
You knew he wasn’t. All Kian did was smile, but he was scared. You could tell.
Bakugou’s hands lit up red. He was still holding the boy.
“What the hell!” Bakugou yelled as his quirk was erased. There Mr. Aizawa stood. On the other side of the room. You slapped your hands over your face in embarrassment.
Kian looked over at you with as he faked holding in a laugh. “Bakugou. Go to your dorm.” He dropped Kian, slightly throwing him, and stormed off. Kian was on the floor, still with the goofy expression.
“Tough crowd?” He tried. You rolled your eyes and ignored him then tailed bakugou back to his room.
You didn’t bother to knock, but Bakugou didn’t acknowledge you as you walked in. You say beside him on the bed quietly.
“Why the hell are you still talking to him? I could beat his ass in 5 second if i wanted to.” He yelled breaking the silence.
You sighed, “He’s... I don’t know what’s wrong with him. I’m never gonna talk to him again after this. What an ass.” Bakugou looked at you. He was angry, but also relieved that you weren’t still in love with Kian.
He asked why you never told him about Kian since he was your “first love.” You didn’t answer for a while, trying to come up with the proper response.
“Why would I? You’re the one in my life now. You’re the one I’m with and the only one I want to be with. He’s not important. The only reason we still talked was because we were childhood friends. In all honesty though, I’ve wanted to cut ties with him for a while. This is a perfcet ending.”
Bakugou scoffed again, “If you say so. I could totally kill him if I wanted to.”
“Yes you could.” You responded.
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~Shoto Todoroki~
You and Todoroki were out shopping for snacks for a little end of semester party. He was assigned to get it, but he didn’t know what everyone liked, so he asked you to come.
Right as you were about to check out, you heard a voice call him. “Yo! Are you Endeavor’s son?” The voice called, as it got closer.
“I am Shoto Todoroki. Son of En-” He started, but the boy gasped. “Y/N! Along time no see.” It was Shoyo (ironic right?), your old childhood friend/ ex boyfriend.
You checked in on eachother maybe once or twice a month. You hadn’t told him about you and Todoroki. He knew you were in the same class, but not that you were dating.
“Wow! You never told me you were friends with Endeavor’s son.” Shoya exclaimed. “I am Shoto Todoroki; Son of Endeavor. Please refer to me as Shoto Todoroki though. I’ve pacing my own path.” He finished.
Shoyo’s eyes widened in amusement as he laughed at him. Truth is, you didn’t really like Shoyo. You had a good time in the past, but now you just found him annoying and you were pretty sure he still liked you.
“Okay, come on babe. It was nice seeing you Shoyo.” You tried to move along, but he stopped you guys. “Woah! ‘babe? You guys are dating? Remember when we dated Y/N? Wow. I did not think you’d fall for such a bland guy. Must be in it for the title. You know since he’s Endeavor’s son. Shoto Todoroki.” He said, mocking Todoroki at the end.
Todoroki stood in place. You exhaled heavily. Why did this have to happen right now. “So what’s it like? You know? beint the son of one of the like least friendly heroes ever? Seriously bro- I would never wanna be a hero if my parent was already one. You’re basically set for life already.”
Todoroki stood in silence, thinking of which question to answer first. “I’m not like my father. I want to become a hero for my own reasons. Is this the end of the questioning? We have to get back to school.”
There was a little bit of tone, which you were happy for. Todoroki’s bluntness always made him intimidating for others. Before Shoyo had another chance to speak, you scooted away.
“Oh. Well bye! Tell Endeavor I said hi!” He yelled from behind. Todoroki looked back and glared at him.
(A/N: okay sorry Shoto’s is so like- short and kinda boring. I feel like he wouldn’t really let things get under his skin, and if they did, he wouldn’t blow up or shut down like Katsuki and Deku. Anyways, great request!)
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bondsmagii · 3 years
Note
Stupidest/ballsiest things you did in high school or uni?
gonna have to split this up into two sections
STUPIDEST:
(high school) went to a house party the night before work and got really drunk and did not stop partying until 6am. work began at 7am. I got 20 minutes of sleep and then had to drag myself into work at a boarding kennels. scraping up dog shite while still drunk/at the beginning of a hangover? not good.
(uni) stapled my essay cover sheet to my essay... through my hoodie sleeve. I was stapled to my essay. I was also very tired and this was the final straw. just stood there for several minutes by the cover sheets and staplers, staring into the middle distance, as people edged around me to get their own cover sheets.
(uni) decided to leave three essays + all their readings (so three books and several supplementary critical analyses for each of them) until 36 hours before their due date, while also completing NaNoWriMo, while also packing to drive 400 miles to meet my then friend now partner irl for the first time. also these two things shared the same timeframe as my essays.
(high school) just straight up stopped going to school for three whole months. I had my reasons but boy howdy was it a close one cleaning up after that mess. the idea that I came very close to having to repeat the entire year... god what was I thinking lmao
(high school) almost ran off with what I'm pretty sure was a legit serial killer in Belfast when I was 16. again I had my reasons I was Goin Thru It™ but also yikes.
(high school) got curious about one of the big celebrations the Other Side held in my Literally In The Middle Of A Civil War country and decided to gatecrash in the full knowledge that these people were going to spend the night burning effigies of people of my culture/religion. word somehow got around that we were the Enemy and I was nearly thrown onto a four-storey high bonfire. kicked a dude in the face and got away, smoked my first cigarette, and then promptly got hit by a train. it was a wild night.
BALLSIEST
(high school) my school was legit one of the worst in the country and we were supposed to have at least a month off as study leave to study for our final exams, but our teachers had all fucked up their time management and were using this as an excuse to keep us at school right into our study leave to teach us shit that they'd already been over and insisted they hadn't. after multiple attempts to point this out I eventually led my class in a full rebellion and basically organised a strike whereupon most of our year simply refused to attend school and, because of the lateness of the year and our vice principal not giving a fuck, we got away with it.
(high school) I don't know if this counts because I didn't realise at the time but I caught a lift back to the city centre from a protest I was attending, and the police were stopping all the protestors and trying to get our names. we bullshitted our way through and then after we drove away from the police I realised the guy next to me was in the IRA (as in the Irish Republican Army, you know, those guys) and he had a full on pistol on him and had been about to start shooting if he had to. if he had, everyone in that car would have been toast. "fuck's sake, man," I said. so maybe it was my reaction that was ballsy. literally my attitude growing up there was "I lived bitch".
(uni) literally just abandoned my abusive family. just. woke up one morning while staying for Christmas and thought "nah, this ain't it", packed my shit, and went to the port. got a boat and didn't look back. fare thee well.
(uni) went on a road trip baby!! lived in my car for a month and a half with @vestriis, travelling up and down the country and exploring abandoned buildings and haunted locations and generally having a good-ass time. still cannot believe that actually happened, after I'd been talking about doing it since I was about 12.
I mean it when I say I'm genuinely surprised I made it through the ages of 14-24 without ending up in prison or getting murdered.
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lydias--stiles · 3 years
Text
my sweet romantic teenage nights
juke | high school + diner au | title: scenes from an italian restaurant // billy joel
Magenta’s Palace was an artefact from the glorious American Dream; a fluorescent gem wrapped in that 60s architecture and old-fashioned uniforms. It was also the hang-out spot of most LF Arts students, right in the heart of Los Feliz and on most kids’ path.  
Luke used to roll his eyes at the place, thinking it was corny and certainly not the place a punk-rocker like him would go… until he tasted their gnarly waffles. And burgers. And milkshakes. His love for good food trumped his desire for street cred and ended up like the rest of his peers: a regular at MP.
Alex and Reggie never had qualms with it. The former was rather happy Luke got over himself and Reggie was simply pleased to spend more time with his friends. It became tradition to eat there every Friday after school. Sometimes they stayed until the early hours of the night talking, sometimes it was to fuel up before a gig.
Settling in their booth (theirs - Luke has made sure to carve the underside of the table with their names), Luke sighed contently. “Boys, this gig is gonna be fire.”
“I still don’t know how you convinced the guys at Raven’s Nest,” Alex mused, glancing around for a waitress in a candycane-coloured uniform.
Reggie nodded gravely. “Yeah, they’re scary.”
“Used my charm,” he smirked. “Dialled it up like I always do.”
The blonde snorted. “Sure.”
Luke’s face crashed. “Fine. I used our fake’s when he didn’t believe we were eighteen.”
His friends grinned, Alex snapping his fingers. “There it is.”
The chipper Nora glided towards them, slaloming between tables with her notebook. Alex’ remark didn’t bother him, crossing his arms with a shrug. “Does it matter? I got us in. They’re gonna love us. Nay! They’re gonna eat this set up!”
“You better be right - hi, Nora - cause it’s a bar for bikers. Real ass bikers,” Alex replied, shooting Nora a smile.
“Hello, boys,” she greeted, her signature red hair tied in a messy bun. Reg used to have a crush on her when they first visited, until they realised she was twenty-three and in a committed relationship with a guy from USC studying medicine. Yeah, he had no shot. Luke had to console him by buying five chocolate shakes and blasting Elvis Presley in the car.
Despite this, Reggie still had a soft spot for her, smiling kindly at the waitress. “Our usual, please.”
The notebook got tucked in her apron with a bright nod. “Coming right up!”
As Nora swiftly returned behind the glossy bartop, parlaying the order to the kitchen, the entrance opened. The bell above chimed, three girls appearing beneath it.
Oh, shit.
When Luke enrolled into LF Arts as a green fourteen year old, he had planned to only focus on music and nothing else. He’d blaze through his classes and become the best in music and then, with his obsessive nature at a peak, would launch the band into the next stratosphere. That was the plan. Music, music, music. (And food from Magenta’s.)
Fourteen year old Luke wasn’t aware girls like Julie Molina existed though. That changed on the first day. She came to the front of the class, blew everyone away with a Taylor Swift cover and shot a toothy smile when she finished - like it was nothing. Like she didn’t have the voice of the century. (Like she wouldn’t mess with Luke’s plans of becoming the best, damn it!) Though his initial reaction was envy, he quickly realised it was rather a disgruntled crush than actual dismay.
She was cute. Still cute. After every summer break, he expected her to be less pretty so that his nerves could calm down for once. Nope. Julie Molina was pretty as hell.
He has never seen her here on Friday’s. Why now? Why now when they were mentally preparing themselves for a gig that could get them their asses kicked if they didn’t perform well? Luke needed to focus! Not think about where she’d sit and what she’d talk about and what she was going to eat.
His eyes tracked as Julie, Flynn and Kayla were in busy conversation, barely aware of their surroundings. Her head rolled back in a laugh at something Flynn said, eyes shut in glee. Luke flushed red, averting his gaze to the scratched up table. His friends were snickering, Alex muttering a ‘Jesus…’ under his breath.
Luke snapped his arm. “Stop being a dick.”
“Why don’t you just ask her out?”, Reggie pondered, absentmindedly making origami with the thin napkins.
“I think he needs to talk to her first to do that,” Alex teased before Luke could respond, earning another glare.
It wasn’t like he and Julie never spoke. They were seniors, they had multiple classes together and spent many hours cooped in the same music classroom. He was even part of her group project in junior year! They’ve talked! But it never lead to anything, his lingering stares falling for her oblivious profile, her never once looking back at him.
The connection Luke always craved hasn’t been there, though he always felt like they could have that. Musical spirits were alike, right? At least his crush wasn’t as hopeless as Reggie’s on Nora.
The girls chose a booth right next to theirs, Julie in his direct line of sight. Alex was buzzing in his seat from stifled laughter, visibly trying to not turn his head and address them. The guitarist felt like dying, not even the steaming plates of burgers set in front of them enough to lift his mood.
Luke leaned forward, voice a hiss. “I can talk to her. I just… haven’t felt the need to.”
Reggie patted his shoulder sympathetically. “It’s okay, buddy. You don’t have to lie to us.”
Frustration began simmering his skin, the scowl deepening. He wasn’t lying! Maybe a little! He’s been waiting for the right time to approach her, say and do the right thing to sweep her off her feet like the fucking rockstar he was. Had he been preparing his lines since he was fourteen? Also maybe. They were being revised.
Alex often told him he shouldn’t put Julie on a pedestal. That she was just a girl. It made him wonder if he was the only one that first day of high school that felt it. That awestruck whooping in his chest from seeing her curls dance around her almond eyes and hear how each lyric was laced with a passionate smile. Even at fourteen was he aware of how special that was. Julie wasn’t just a girl. She was the coolest girl he’s ever met and he didn’t even know her that well. He couldn’t imagine actually becoming friends with her, uncovering all facets of her personality and not get overwhelmed by her Julie-ness.
Huh. His crush went deeper than he thought. Yikes.
At the end of the day, Luke could admit that he was simply a teenage boy nervous to talk to a girl. ‘Nervous’ was like a curse word to him though, that admission a secret he’d take with him to the grave.
“Eh,” Alex quipped, egging him on. “Luke’s a terrible liar. He doesn’t have to tell us for us to know it’s true.”    
His hands slammed down on the table, words spouting from his lips. “Girls! Can we get your napkin dispenser?!”
Fucking fantastic, Luke.
All three perked up in surprise, Flynn twisting in her booth to curl her nose and tilt her head. “Why?”
“It’s empty,” he bluffed.
Kayla craned her neck and instantly caught Reggie’s handiwork scattered across the table. “No, it’s not.”
Julie sat next to her, blinking in confusion. “Why do you need our napkins?”
Her smooth voice directed right at him caused a thrill up his spine, a grin involuntarily tugging on his lips. “Cause Reggie needs them for his crafts.” Playing along, the bassist lifted a janky frog with a wink. “I’m very dedicated.”
She matched Luke’s smile, amused. It was the most interaction he has had with her in months, the utter euphoria of it all bursting at the seams. Propelled by her smile, he slid out the booth and into Alex’ side, throwing his arms over the seat right next to Flynn’s head. The girl remained deeply unimpressed by him, gaze flicking past his physique. Damn. If he ever wanted to get anywhere with Julie, he had to get in Flynn’s good grazes. Kayla seemed chill though.
“What’s with the frown, Felicity?”, he joked.
Kayla giggled at the mention of Flynn’s actual name, the girl in question rolling her eyes. “All I’m wondering is why you have to bother us about napkins, Lukas.”
“Flynn,” Julie shook her head with an exasperated grin, “maybe wait for your strawberry shake? I think you’re being hangry.”
Her friend loosened up, sinking back in her seat with a playful pout and mumbling a resigned ‘fine.’
Luke took that as his sign to continue. His gaze fell back on Julie, hoping he wouldn’t sound too eager. “You guys come here a lot? I haven’t seen you here on Friday’s.”
“Who’re you asking?”, Julie asked, looking between her and Kayla. Oh, man. Small talk really wasn’t his forte. He couldn’t charm himself out of this one with music jargon or fake IDs.
His smile turned stressed, flailing his hand around. “Uh, all of you.”
“Sure,” Flynn snorted.
Alex slapped a hand on his mouth at her retort, almost in pain of not laughing his ass off. The prize of ‘Worst Friends Ever’ went to Luke’s - for fuck’s sake, couldn’t the drummer at least try and help him out?!
“Just wanted to celebrate Kayla’s good mark on her new song,” Julie continued, wilfully ignoring the other’s behaviour. Slinging an arm around her friend, she shot her a bright smile. “Her bridge was amazing, right?”  
All three boys nodded fervently as Kayla ducked her head bashfully, murmuring a ‘thank you’ and then relieved from all the attention when Nora walked up to them. Luke’s body didn’t twist to sit normally again, too invested in finally speaking to them, finally having that contact, that he didn’t even care if he seemed like a weirdo. Julie and him! Conversing!
“Speaking of music,” he casually uttered when Nora was off again. His signature smirk crawled on his lips. “We’re playing a gig tonight.”
This peaked Flynn’s interest. Perhaps the prospect of food made her more amicable. “Where?”
“Raven’s Nest,” Reggie proudly proclaimed.
Kayla frowned, worried. “Isn’t that the bar with all the bikes outside?”
“Thank you!”, Alex exclaimed with a sigh. “It’s insane!”
“It’s not,” Luke bit back. If Sunset Curve wanted to make it big, they had to play big! Gigs like these would get them on the stages they dreamed of. Soon, it was goodbye, Raven’s Nest and hello, The Orpheum! “Real Californians go there to hear real fucking music.”
To his surprise, Julie hummed in agreement. “My dad says it used to be where the subculture kids hung out before MP got cool.”
“Yes!” His grin was huge now, overflowing with joy. This was enough adrenaline to get him through three gigs at once! His finger pressed into the cracked leather. “Exactly! And we’re gonna slay it. You should come watch!”
The latter blurted out without wanting to, his eyes growing wide in panic as Reggie and Alex stilled in their seats and Flynn peered up at him with laser-focus. Shit. Was he telling on himself? Did she pierce through the charisma that this was just a poor attempt at flirting? God, he really should’ve prepared his speech for impulsive moments like these.
Luke still needed to endure some growing pains before he got good at flirting.
Julie chuckled, a hint of red appearing on her cheekbones. It enthralled him. Was she embarrassed or flattered? “Uh,” she bit her lip, “I don’t know if I can get in. Don’t you have to be eighteen?”
He raised his brow. “C’mon, you don’t have a fake?” At those words, Alex dropped his head on the table with a thud. Luke had enough of his own shit too. ‘Mortified’ didn’t even come close to how he felt about his blabbering mouth.  
Levelling his challenged look, however, he realised he wasn’t lost quite yet. Julie’s eyes glittered with mischief. “I do, actually.”
Breath caught in his throat. Yup. Coolest fucking girl in the universe. Julie Molina had a killer voice and a fake ID and probably did a whole lot of other dope stuff he hadn’t found out yet.
“Julie,” Flynn but in. “It’s a biker bar.”
“Where our classmates are playing,” she argued. “I can always try.”
“You’ll die.”
“I think I’ll be fine. Like Luke said-” No. She could not say his name and expect him to keep his cool. His fingers gripped the conjoined couch tighter. “-everyone’s there for the music.”
A careful smile slowly grew on Kayla. “We can tell your dad you’re with us.”
Flynn gaped at her. “We-?! I- okay.” Lifting her hands in surrender, she added: “Fine, we’ll tell Ray you’re at the movies with us.”
Wait, was Julie turning down a movie night with her friends to see him play? Did that mean something? Has he been so focused on trying to find or create a ‘vibe’ that he forgot to actually look for signs of her own? Damn. Now he really couldn’t screw this set up. Sunset Curve was gonna play until their hands bled, hopefully impressing her just a little bit.
It was settled then. After both groups had eaten, Julie separated from hers and joined them on their trek to Raven’s Nest. She was mostly talking to Reggie behind Alex and Luke, animatedly recounting a story about Carlos nearly crashing his drone in her keyboard. Jitters began to tingle his skin, that building excitement right before a gig mixing with Julie’s presence. It felt like one of his dreams materialised out of thin air.
How many times has he dreamt about catching her eye in the crowd as he crooned love songs he never dared to write? Granted, those dreams were centered in a hazier setting, Raven’s Nest quite unromantic opposed to that, but he would take what he got.
(And after, they’d worm their way through the masses of people, meeting halfway, and she’d sling her arms around his neck and he’d pull her into a kiss and it’d be electric. She’d kiss like she sang. It was a recurring dream that left him in a good mood for hours.)
Without much hesitance, the bouncer let Julie in. Luke, unable to keep his giddiness at bay, squeezed her shoulder as a dazzling beam was glued to his cheeks. Julie got in! Julie was going to see him play!
Raven’s Nest was expectedly filled with bearded, burly men. It reeked of beer and strong liquor, raucous chatter spilling from ever corner. They all probably looked like babies in comparison to these dudes, but he supposed his unfaltering confidence made up for it. Luke would get his boys (and Julie) through this. The stage was already prepared for them, amps and mics set up, Alex’ drums waiting in Reggie’s van behind the establishment.
“I’ve seen you play before, you know,” Julie mumbled beside him.
His heart soared without trying, its rate going a mile a minute as his jaw fell slack. All his nerves intensified till a blush crept on his cheeks. “You- you have?”
Her curious eyes flitted from the people to him, sheepish. “Yeah. At Ecliptica. You guys were good.”
A clammy hand raked the ends of his hair. Holy fucking shit. “You sounded like you never heard us before.”
“I didn’t want to seem like a fangirl, or something.” A secretive smile formed on her lips as she leaned into his side. “You know how school is. Everyone trying to be the best, but then act super casual about it?” Her eyes sparked in the yellow lighting, too close for him to think straight. “I didn’t want it to inflate you guys’ egos.”
Luke sputtered out a disbelieving laugh. “You’re doing it right now, Julie.”
“Then you better kill it,” she teased, nodding at Alex and Reggie hauling the drums onstage from the back door. “I think that’s your cue.”
There were two things he thought of right as he ascended the stage.
One, Julie was fat better at this whole back and forth than he was.
Two, he had to direct at least one song to her from their thirty minute set. Just one. Just so that his feelings might come across. Where words ended, music bled from his soul instead.
And so, the band exploded into what they knew best: burning the fucking house down.
So we’re taking the long way home 'Cause I don’t wanna be wasting my time alone I wanna get lost and drive forever with you Talking 'bout nothing, yeah, whatever, baby So we’re taking the long way home tonight We're taking the long way home
The giggly teenagers ended back in the diner after the incredible gig, shouting from the adrenaline and jostling arms to get points across. Even Julie joined in, much to his delight, tucked between him and the wall as she had a heated debate with an excited Reggie - harmonies versus basslines. Lemonades filled in condensed glasses gave them sticky fingers, hers once pushing his chin away when he told a particularly dumb joke and leaving an imprint. Luke was on fucking cloud nine.    
Taking the upper hand in the debate, Julie sang a bit of one of their songs (“Let's seize the day, let's run away, don't let the colours fade to grey!”) with all the tricks in the book, silencing Reggie just like that. Alex high fived Julie, the bassist admitting she won this time. Deeply relishing the sound of her singing voice, Luke barely caught what she was saying after.
“This time?”, she laughed. “There’s another time?”
“Why not?” Reggie wiggled his brows, unsubtle as hell when he shot Luke a wink. “Diner Friendship Memories Still To Be Made!”
Alex blinked. “What?”
Her eyes tracked past the boys, the smile turning more timid. It settled on Luke, the boy unable and unwilling to look away. He wanted this night to never end. Clasping her lemonade, she nodded firmly, as if signing Reggie’s silly Friendship Contract.
“Yeah… why not.”
Magenta’s Palace became Luke favourite place in the entire world. Every Friday, Julie joined the boys at their booth, sometimes Kayla and Flynn too. Huddled in those red leather seats with mountains of fries, they shared the first slivers of newfound friendship. Luke has always been very cautious about who he let in his circle (Sunset Curve against The World), but six people in a booth felt cosy rather than suffocating. Like it was always to be like this.
Reggie found an equally enthusiastic jazz lover in Kayla. Alex confided with Flynn that he followed her playlists on Spotify and was obsessed with her DJ skills.  
Luke and Julie created their own bubble without trying to.
It was weird. Maybe Alex was right and Luke did put her on a pedestal for so long. Julie was genuinely chill and easy to talk to, probably turned off by him before cause he had been acting like a blubbering idiot. Simply being himself was, surprisingly, more than enough for her. It lit a fire inside of him. Snarky banter about music that challenged him to keep up, overt flirting from him that kept her blushing, sudden ideas about lyrics that threw either for a loop. He wouldn’t admit it at first, but she made him a better songwriter.
Who knew his best songs would be found on stained paper napkins?  
One Friday night, long past midnight, the group stood outside as they bid each other a good weekend. Bathed in the pink glow of the LED lights, Luke felt it in his gut. He had to tell her. These past weeks his feelings had only grown tenfold, this incessant buzz rippling every atom of his body whenever she was close. Whenever she smiled, talked, sang. Stealing his beanie, eating his fries, sharing AirPods. Luke loved it all.  
It was a lot more than a simple crush.  
After Julie hugged Alex, Luke grabbed her into a tight hug. She instantly responded, wrapping her arms around his waist and burrowing herself in his red hoodie. His infatuated smile was hidden by her curls, so fucking happy he’d been impulsive enough to ask for a dispenser that day.
“Hey, Julie,” he whispered.
She looked up, eyes alight with an emotion that left his shivering. “Yeah?”
“Uh…” A smile trembled on his lips, unsure whether he wanted to drown in the pretty brown of her irises or continue talking. Now or never. “You wanna get breakfast tomorrow? With me?”
He didn’t have to live in the fear for long, a smile stretching across her cheeks as she shyly nodded. It was the first time he’d ever seen her this flustered, their hold on each other securing with quiet glee. Had he not been so mesmerised, the awestruck Luke would run a mile from the adrenaline rush.  
“Yeah,” she grinned, nose scrunched. “Sounds fun.”
They found themselves in the same spot the next day, the taste of syrupy pancakes melting with his as he kissed her on the parking lot of Magenta’s Palace. Julie’s lips curled into a smile and Luke figured there was no better feeling in the world then that.
(Yeah, he could get used to this.)
Saturday’s mornings had never been sweeter.  
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@blush-and-books @willexx @bluefirewrites @unsaid-emily @ourstarscollided
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anxiousgaypanicking · 3 years
Text
What You Need (Intrulogical)
Two days without eating and three without sleeping sounded like the normal schedule for college student Logan Berry. He's in class all day and works all night just to barely pay off his rent every month. Constant bills leave little room for bare necessities, and it's clear that his current lifestyle is very damaging. While looking for solutions, he comes across one that seems... mediocre at best, but he's desperate. What is this solution? A sugar daddy.
this is a sugar daddy story. that means there will be sex. kinky sex, especially further on. im not going to put a warning at the beginning of each chapter so heres your warning for the entire book. each new chapter will most likely have a different smut scene, so read with caution
Also! This is a copy of my story from wattpad that im posting here because i want to get into using tumblr :DD so... pog!
Part 1
"You look like shit," Janus comments, taking a seat next to Logan in their lecture hall. Logan can hardly muster a groan in response, leaning uncomfortably over his notebook in order to review the notes he had taken the day before.
He looks up at Janus, giving Janus a good look at the bags under Logan's eyes, no doubt from him being forced to stay up all night working.
"Another night shift?" Janus questions, and Logan nods.
It's all he could take, due to the fact he had school in the mornings and studied for a bit after school. But, he had to make money somehow, seeing as getting evicted and/or starving was out of the question.
Janus sighs, kicking his feet up onto the table in front of them, earning a glare from Logan.
"That's not proper classroom etiquette, you know," he grumbles, which earns a grin from Janus.
"And? What are you gonna do about it?" Janus asks, sass clear in his voice. When Logan rolls his eyes and sets his head down on the desk, Janus laughs. "That's what I thought. Absolutely nothing."
"Why do I put up with you again?"
"Even I don't know the answer to that question." Janus snickers, as the room slowly fills up. There's not many kids, so they're all spread out in the hall. Most people sit apart; hardly any of them even have the energy to become acquainted with each other.
The professor walks in minutes later, announcing his presence with an over-exaggerated "good morning class" that makes both Logan and Janus groan.
Logan picks his head up off his desk, rubbing away the drool that had pooled on the front of his notebook, before he opened it up.
The professor spoke way too fast, and Janus didn't even try to listen, while Logan's tired brain tried to keep up with everything that was being said. Janus went back and forth between zoning out and musing at Logan's determined attitude.
Despite the fact it was early, and Logan was clearly tired, he still valued his education and everything the professor said.
After this class, they had another one. In fact, their entire day was filled with classes, as that was the way school worked.
What a shame.
Janus and Logan had very different classes, with their morning lesson being the only one they shared, but that tiny bit of social interaction was enough to keep them from living their college life in complete solitude, so it was enough.
Logan went through today like he went through every day; a groggy mindset and the school's free, cheap coffee being both his source of hydration and the thing keeping him awake.
He participated when he could, but that wasn't often. More often than not he had his face buried in his notebook, frantically scribbling down notes in an attempt to keep up with his professors, and jot down his own thoughts.
Normally, he could work fast, but it's hard to focus on so little sleep and sustenance.
After school, Logan sluggishly walked home, as per usual. He'd have a couple hours to study (or sleep) before he had to head to work.
And normally, he would do either of those things, but upon walking into his dinky apartment, grabbing a cup (which was one of the two he owned - flatware is expensive), and filling it with some questionable tap water, he decided he really had to look into more ways to make money.
With a sigh, he set his cup down, moving to his tiny couch instead. It was uncomfortable to sit on; stiff to the touch. He pulls his computer out of his backpack; it was one of the nicer things he owned, and his parents helped him buy it seeing as he needed one for school.
It was old, and very outdated, but it worked, and that was enough.
He patiently waits for the search engine to load up (understanding that his apartment's cheap wi-fi ran slowly, but he didn't have the money for his own router so this would have to do) before typing in "what are quick ways to make money?"
He was provided with a bunch of job options that he didn't even bother looking at.
He already had a job; he definitely didn't have time for a second one. Not with his already full schedule.
So why was he even looking? Did he want to gamble? Or join some sort of pyramid scheme? Maybe he was just looking to make sure there was nothing better out there.
And that's almost the conclusion he came to, until he came across a site that had "sugar daddy" in the URL. A sugar daddy...? Logan, surprisingly, didn't know what that was.
He clicks the link, opening a new tab as well to look up what a sugar daddy was while the link loaded.
He scans over the definition.
"A rich, older man who lavishes gifts on young people in return for their company or, more typically, sexual favors."
His face scrunches up. Money in return for sex? Isn't that... isn't that prostitution? Isn't that illegal?
Surprisingly, no. It's one of the few exceptions to that law. And Logan stares at that link for a few seconds, considering it.
Well...
He sighs, closing his computer, as he sinks deeper into the uncomfortable couch. He lets his eyes rest for a second, momentarily soothing the burning that's always there nowadays.
He can't let himself fall asleep, though, as he knows there's always the possibility he'll sleep through his alarm, and he can't even risk getting fired from his job. That was currently his only source of income, which helped him pay bills and get some food every once in a while.
With a sigh, he reopened his eyes, and his computer, bringing him to a sign in page on the sugar daddy website.
Was he actually considering this?
...yes.
He quickly types in his name and age, as well as inputting his gender, and inserting a profile picture (albeit a very awkward one), before typing up a short bio.
"I just don't want to starve."
Yeah, mood.
Afterwards, he's brought to a Tinder-esque screen, showing other profiles with a red thumbs down and a green thumbs up on the bottom of the screen. When Logan hovered his mouse over them, they lit up, showing they were buttons.
"Hmm," he hummed, pushing his glasses up as he scans over the first profile, already cringing at the age. "67." Yikes.
Well, he'll do what he has to, but maybe with someone a little bit younger... if there even were any younger people on here. Logan honestly was hoping for a miracle, unrealistically so.
But, he pressed the thumbs-down button nonetheless, deciding he'd at least try.
"58." Eh.
"49." Getting better...
"23."
Woah. Twenty-three? This fucker was only a couple years older than Logan was.
Logan quickly skimmed over their profile. The profile picture was blurry, and normally Logan would take that as a bad sign, but he was desperate.
"Remus Prince, 23
here for a fun and sexy time ;))) will treat my sweet lil baby right ;000"
Well, it was childish, and Logan found himself slightly annoyed with the usage of emoticons and the improper capitalization, but, he really would rather sleep with a younger man.
With one final re-evaluation of this decision, he clicks the thumbs-up button, taking him to a chat feature. Oh, interesting.
Logan, who was pretty socially stunted, hummed, as he tried to figure out an appropriate way to start this conversation.
'Hey.'
Well, that was a good start. He set his computer to the side, standing up to grab his cup of water and carry it back to the couch. When he sat down, he saw he already had a reply. Damn, did people just have constant free time?
'hey there cutie ;))'
'i take it ur lookin for a daddy <33??'
No, Logan was just on this website for fun. He rolled his eyes, and then cringed at the idea of referring to this man as his 'daddy.' Ew. He'd stick to Remus for now.
'In a sense, yes, assuming your referring to the 'title.''
He had to be sure.
'pfft- nerd'
';) just joking'
'and yes, that is what i meant smh. so when do you wanna meet, baby?'
Logan frowned slightly at being called 'baby,' not being able to properly identify how it made him feel. Weird, definitely. Ugh, this was all confusing and, God, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this.
'Tomorrow,' Logan answers. before providing the time after he'd be out of school. They could talk in the few hours Logan had before work, and perhaps he could get a better sense on what being a sugar baby was going to be like.
Remus accepts (adding many unnecessary emojis and emoticons along with a simple "that works"), and Logan sighs as he shut his computer yet again.
He discards it in favor of pulling out his notebook and reviewing the notes he had taken today.
School took his priority until his job started, and provided a good distraction from the now looming concept of meeting his future sugar daddy.
Wow, he still couldn't believe he actually resorted to a solution like that. This option is.... mediocre at best.
It was so unlike him, but desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposes.
In order to distract himself, and also kill some time before he has to head into work, he studies the notes he had made, repeating and re-writing in an effort to burn them into his memory. He does this for a couple hours, up until his phone rings. It's an alarm, labelled "get ready for work."
He ends up doing just that, combing through his hair and quickly scrubbing his face in order to look more presentable. He then fixes his clothes, smoothing out the wrinkles and trading out his tie for his work apron. He didn't put it on right away, as he still had to walk to work, but he did fold it neatly over his arm.
He speed-walks to his job, and works throughout the night.
Of course, he was aware of the recommended eight-to-ten hours of sleep people were supposed to get in order to be healthy, but Logan had been functioning just fine on the three hours of sleep he got daily (if even that).
Logically, three hours was a complete sleep cycle. It's just recommended by doctors that people get three cycles.
But Logan didn't have the time to sleep for nine hours a night. Not unless he wanted to drop out of college and move back in with parents (both of which he definitely did not want to do).
He completes the tedious tasks his work gives him, hardly socializing with any of his co-workers, all of which looked equally as tired as he did, before heading home. Perhaps one would be more afraid of walking home alone in the middle of the damn night, but Logan knew the sun would rise in half an hour or so. That, and at least kidnappers would give him a temporary relief from work and school.
And murder would permanently relieve him from both! There was no downside.
When he gets back to his apartment, he folds up his apron and puts it away, before packing all his notes and supplies back into his bag. He checks himself in the bathroom as he slings his bag over his shoulder.
The purple bags on his eyes were growing increasingly prominent. That wasn't great.
He checks his phone after a moment, before humming as he trudged back into the living room and slipped on his shoes, deciding that he'd try and sleep after school today-
Nope! He groaned, as he remembered his meeting with that sugar daddy. What was his name again? Logan tried to think back to it, before his phone rang, the alarm for school going off, distracting him. He dismisses it, adjusting his bag, before heading out the door. Curse morning classes.
He ends up in the lecture hall earlier than most everyone else, as per usual, although Janus is already at his seat. Legs kicked up on the table. As per usual.
"Good morning," Logan greets him, setting his bag down and pulling out his notes.
Janus hums in response, scrolling through his phone. His phone that Logan had never seen before.
"Is that a new phone?" Logan questions, raising an eyebrow. He knew Janus had more access to money than he did (as he often came to school with new rings or fancy tailored clothes) but there was nothing wrong with his old one.
Janus looks at Logan, momentarily confused, before he blinks in realization of the question. "Oh, yeah. It looked cool, and my old one was a bit slow."
"Ah."
Logan couldn't even imagine just spending money carelessly on himself. His phone, while outdated and cracked, could still call, text, and set alarms. If it wasn't broken, why would he need a new one?
With that short exchange, both of them went back to their own devices (literally, in Janus's case) as they wait for class to start.
However, Logan finds that he can't focus, instead thinking about what this afternoon's meeting would have in store for him. The sugar daddy - who Logan had remembered was named Remus - seemed flirtatious over text (although Logan was bad at identifying romantic social cues due to lack of exposure, so he could have just been really friendly), but Logan couldn't picture meeting him.
The unpredictability of the event annoyed him, and what annoyed him even more was that he didn't even know what Remus looked like! His profile picture was blurry and extremely hard to make out.
Guess he'd discover what he looked like upon meeting him, as that wasn't dangerous.
He tries to focus throughout class, once again leaning over his work and scribbling rapid notes, but his mind can only listen to the teacher for so long before he's thinking about the meeting again.
Ugh, if he knew he was going to be this distracted by an interaction that hasn't even happened yet, he would just not have scheduled the meeting at all.
Janus seemed to notice that Logan wasn't focusing solely on the class as he usually would, but didn't ask about it. He didn't want to intrude, and he knew Logan would probably give a vaguely concerning answer anyway.
So, instead, Janus left Logan to sort through his own problems alone, like any half-decent friend probably would.
Logan ends up being distracted throughout the rest of the day. Funny how one instance can absorb all of one's mental energy. He still paid attention as well as he could (as he would have otherwise been upset with himself), but near the end of the school day, he finds himself rather antsy. He's not nervous, despite the fact he has fair reason to be. No, he's overly curious, and eager to live through a new experience.
Even if he was unhappy about how his life had managed to come to this. Not that there was really anything he could do about it, without throwing his life out of order.
At the end of the day, he walked home as quickly as he could. He needed time to himself to prepare for Remus's arrival. Not physically, as he looked presentable enough in that regard, but mentally.
When he gets back to his apartment, he checks his phone for the time, before tossing his bag near the couch. There's still about ten minutes until the time Logan requested meeting Remus at, but he's anxiously awaiting his arrival nonetheless.
Those ten minutes pass, and Logan has pulled out his schoolbook, reviewing equations for the upcoming exam in his science class. Another ten minutes go by as Logan gets immersed in the material, before there's a knock on the door.
Logan blinks, drawn out of his finally focused state, before he checks the time. Ten minutes past when he and Remus had scheduled.
Was he late? If he was, that wouldn't be the best start to a first impression.
Logan got up and opened his door, revealing a tall, thin man with pale skin and messy brown hair. He was wearing a pale green tank top and cargo shorts, and had brown eyes that seemed almost red when the light hit them right.
He also had a thin mustache gracing the space above his top lip.
The man grinned and leaned against Logan's door frame.
"Heya there, babes," he greets, before just walking inside. Logan's too stunned to really say anything, so all he can do is shut the door behind him. "You're Logan Berry, yeah?"
It takes Logan a moment to find his voice, so jarred by the young man in front of him. He looked younger than Logan. And not as rich or as fancy as Logan had pictured him. He honestly expected a well-groomed man in a regal suit to show up to his door.
Yet, he was greeted with... this.
"Yeah," Logan answers, after a moment. "I take it you're... Remus."
"Bingo, baby!" Remus says, with a grin, as his hands find Logan's waist. That, mixed with the nickname, made Logan feel weird.
An unidentifiable way, but mostly just hot.
Remus snickers. "Man, you're cute. I really lucked out, huh?"
"Uh, I guess," Logan responds, standing stiff in Remus's hold. "You look younger than I expected."
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
Logan averts his gaze and shrugs, feeling awkward and inexperienced in this situation. And everything was moving very fast; Logan had no time to process and retain a lot of the information being thrown his way.
"Yeah, that's fair. I just know some people have a kink for age differences. Although, you're the same age I am, so I guess that wouldn't make much sense."
Logan listened to him talk, eyebrow raising slightly at the age kink comment.
He knew what the definition of a kink was, but an age kink...?
"Ah," Logan says, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head. There's silence for a moment, before Remus snickers again.
"Wow, you're really awkward."
"And you're really blunt," Logan counters, knowing that Remus is right. He doesn't know what to do here; he's never been in this situation before.
Remus laughs at Logan's words though, pulling him closer, which causes Logan to flush at the contact. He... he had never been this physically close to anyone before.
"Are you blushing?" comes Remus's voice, and Logan just sighs.
"Clearly."
Remus backs up a bit, his hands moving from Logan's waist to his face, cupping it, before tilting it this way and that way. Logan looks confused, and still unsure of what to do with his own hands.
Remus's peppy face falls for a moment, looking like he was studying Logan, before he clears his throat.
"Have you ever had a sugar daddy before?" he asks, and Logan wonders if it's really that obvious. He would have brought it up at some point anyway, because he's confused as hell, but this works.
"No."
Remus hums. "Have you ever had sex before?"
"No."
"Have you ever been in a relationship before?"
Yes, platonically, but Logan could tell that he meant romantically, which prompted Logan to answer "no."
Remus laughed, his face lighting back up. "Damn, you're new to all of this then! This'll be fun."
Fun? What did that have to do with Logan being new to this whole ordeal?
"So, you do at least know what having a sugar daddy means, right?" Remus asks, as he pulls Logan to the couch via an arm around his waist.
He expects to sit down next to him, but he ends up getting pulled into Remus's lap before he can even process what's happening.
However, Remus does finally take the time to ask "you're comfortable with this, right?"
"Having a sugar daddy?"
Remus snorts, his hands rubbing Logan's thighs. "Well, partially. I was more so referring to me being all touchy. It's technically part of the job, ya know, sex for money and all that, but since you're new to this, it's worth making sure."
Logan has to think about that for a genuine minute, because he is indeed new to this, and it's making him feel weird, but he decides it's a good kind of weird.
So he nods. "Yeah. I suppose I'm comfortable with this. It's just new to me."
Remus grins, his hands sliding back up to Logan's waist and pulling him closer. "Are you comfortable with kissing, too?"
Logan's face flushes involuntarily at the question, and at the sight of Remus smirking at him with hungry eyes.
"I- well- I've never kissed anyone before."
"Virgin in all regards, huh? Don't worry, I'll teach you all there is to know. Perks of the job." Remus cups his face, his voice lowered. "Provided I have your consent, of course."
Logan gulps, his face hot, as he nods.
"Verbal consent, Lo."
"Yeah- yeah you have my consent."
Remus smiles, before leaning it fully, pressing his lips against Logan's. Logan still feels awkward, and unsure of what to do, but he guessed the best way to learn would be to just do what he thought he should.
So, he moves his own hands, which were previously laying lax in his lap, onto Remus's shoulders, and Remus grins into the kiss, before tilting his head and deepening it. His tongue slips past Logan's lips, before Logan suddenly pulls away.
"What was that?" Logan asks, before Remus has the chance to ask if he's okay.
Remus looks puzzled for a moment, before he grins. "That was french kissing, silly. Man, despite looking like a nerd, you're really clueless."
Logan frowns, which prompts Remus to kiss him yet again.
"I just don't understand this. I need to do more research on it, it seems," Logan says, mostly muttering to himself. Perhaps it would have been better if he researched kissing and sexual techniques. Maybe then he wouldn't feel so inexperienced in this situation.
However, Remus seems to disagree. "What you need," he begins, his hands on Logan's waist suddenly tightening. "Is for me to take care of you." He suddenly changes their position, pinning Logan to the couch, while Remus smirks over top of him. "Lucky for you, I'm surprisingly good at that."
Logan's face is dark red, and he's speechless yet again. But he doesn't need to talk, as Remus's lips reconnect with his, and Logan closes his eyes and lets himself relax into it. His normally stiff shoulders ease, and his arms slide back around Remus's shoulders, subconsciously pulling him closer.
Once again, Remus deepens the kiss, but this time Logan was at least expecting it. What he wasn't expecting were Remus's hands untucking his shirt and sliding up it. He shivers at Remus's hands running up his chest, before moaning when they reach his nipples.
Remus snickers, as he breaks the kiss. "Damn, you're really cute, Logan."
"Uh-huh," Logan responds, arching his chest into Remus's touch, as they pinch and twist at his nipples. "You've said that already."
"I'm gonna keep reinforcing the idea," Remus says, sticking out his tongue. Then he helps Logan take his shirt off all the way, fully exposing Logan's chest.
"Wow, you're very thin," Remus comments, hands lightly running over Logan's ribs, which were way more prominent than is healthy. "How often do you eat?"
"I'm not the best at reading social cues, but are you sure this is the best time to ask that question?"
Remus stares at him for a moment, before shrugging. "Not necessarily, but after this I'm buying us dinner."
"What?" Logan says, as he sits up slightly. "Why?"
Remus looks at him if he's stupid, before remembering that Logan is new to this. "Okay, so, this is probably not the best time to give a lesson, but sugar daddies pay their sugar babies for sex. I thought you'd at least know that."
"I did. I thought that was money."
"Well, it can just be money, but they also get paid in other things. Like jewelry and clothes, or food. Necessities and gifts."
"Oh," Logan says, as he pushes up his glasses. "I suppose that makes sense. You don't have to though."
"Don't have to do what?"
"Buy dinner."
And once again, Remus looks at him as if he's stupid. "Logan, we're literally about to have sex. This agreement - the one between daddies and babies - is we have sex and then I pay you. Me not paying you would sort of defeat the whole purpose."
Logan blinks, before just nodding. Yeah, that seems fair.
Remus seems happy the conversation is over, as his attention turns back to Logan's chest. He leans down and licks a stripe up it, an action that Logan would cringe at if he didn't find it weirdly hot.
Remus's mouth then latches onto one of his nipples, tongue messing with it, before he sucks lightly around it. Logan's hands gripped tighter at Remus's shoulders, his nails accidentally digging into his back, and he lets out a moan that makes him slap a hand over his mouth afterwards, his face dark red.
It's not his fault his body was so sensitive. Remus's touches just felt so good. And the way he was eyeing up at Logan made him flush darker.
Logan had to look away, tucking his face into the crook of his elbow as Remus moved away from his nipple and turned his attention to Logan's pants instead. He quickly makes work of unbuttoning his cheap jeans before tugging them down and tossing them to the side, hardly hesitating before pulling Logan's boxers down as well, his embarrassingly hard cock springing up at the action.
He feels strangely vulnerable under Remus, as he's now naked and on display while Remus is still fully clothed.
And Remus is eyeing up and down, licking his lips, as if Logan's his next meal.
"You sure you're okay with this?" Remus asks, and Logan gulps and nods.
"Yes, I'm sure," he says. It's for the money; that's why he took the offer in the first place, but now he found himself extremely curious about the situation he had gotten himself into.
Remus nods at his answer, reaching into the pocket of his shorts, before pulling out a small bottle and a small, square package. Noticing the curious look Logan gave the bottle, he hands it to him, before working to pull off his own clothes.
"Lube," Logan states, while reading the bottle. Unsurprisingly, he didn't learn about safe gay sex in school, because all they teach, if they teach sex at all, is straight sex.
Which is stupid, considering not everyone is straight, but whatever.
"You need it," Remus explains, pulling his shirt off. "It's to make sure you don't feel pain while I fuck you. Also to keep your asshole from tearing. It's a necessity for anal sex."
"Oh."
"Yeah," Remus hums, working to unbutton his pants. "I always carry a bottle considering some people just don't have it lying around, and nothing else should be used as a substitute."
He snickers as Logan reads over the small print over the bottle.
"Like you, for example. You look like you've never seen lube in your life."
"I haven't."
"Yeah, makes sense."
Logan hands the bottle back when Remus reaches for it, only then fully realizing that Remus was just as nude as he was.
He takes a moment to scan over Remus's body. He's thin, as Logan could tell when he first arrived, but he's also paler underneath his clothes. He has a few scars littering his chest, arms, and legs.
Logan would ask what they were from if Remus didn't immediately snicker.
"See something you like?" he asks, playfully, earning an eye-roll from Logan.
"Not necessarily."
"Ouch, you wound me, Logan."
Logan rolls his eyes again, before going back to evaluating Remus's body. Mainly, just trying to study it enough to commit it to memory, while Remus works on squirting some lube onto his fingers.
Logan's eyes shamelessly look towards Remus's cock, eyes widening slightly at the sight of it.
His own cock was a little above average, but Remus's was definitely bigger than his. That thing was going to go inside him?
The thought made Logan shiver and blush involuntarily, but Remus didn't seem to notice, instead grabbing Logan's thigh with his clean hand and lifting it up slightly.
"What are you doing?" Logan asks, still propped up on his elbows, as Remus grazes his teeth over Logan's thigh.
"I'm going to stretch you," Remus says with a hum. "Since you're new to this, and specifically a virgin, it's important to prep you before you take my big cock." It's said semi-seriously and semi-flirty, but Remus's tone is enough to make Logan go red in the face.
He himself couldn't believe he was blushing at some flirty words and a few sensual touches, but alas, he was.
"Okay?" Remus asks, drawing Logan out of his thoughts. Logan nods, before responding with "yeah, okay."
Remus smiles, before slowly easing one finger into Logan. Logan gasps at the feeling, hands grasping the stiff cushion beneath him.
It felt... weird. Not bad, but definitely strange.
Remus slowly pushes the finger in and out of him, before sliding another finger in him, scissoring him open. Remus seems pretty focused on making sure Logan's properly stretched, but he also takes the time to nip at Logan's thighs, earning a few gasps and grunts from Logan.
He'd leave a few hickeys over his body, but he wanted to make sure Logan was comfortable with sex before he did anything a bit more extreme. He'd have to ask Logan about some of his kinks and boundaries when they weren't literally about to fuck so he could plan ahead.
Remus ends up pushing a third finger in, steadily pumping them in and out of Logan, before Logan tries to roll his hips down involuntarily, feeling the urge to get more pleasure.
Remus grins at this, before pulling his fingers out, earning a whine from Logan.
Remus shushes him with a quick kiss, wiping his fingers against Logan's couch (not like Logan noticed anyway) as he quickly tears open the condom package. He doesn't break the kiss as he spreads Logan's thighs apart, one of them being smashed against the vertical cushions, and the other was practically dangling off the couch.
"You gotta relax for me, okay baby?" Remus says, voice smooth, as Remus quickly works to lube the condom up as an extra precaution, before he lines his cock up with Logan's entrance. Logan nods, not sure what he's about to feel (assuming it'll feel at least similar to Remus's fingers) so he's partially unsure of how to brace himself.
He's surprised, however, as Remus's cock slowly slides into him, and he tenses as his hands tightly grip the couch.
"You okay?" Remus asks, hands slowly massaging Logan's thighs. "You're not in any pain, right?" He sounds slightly concerned, although he really still just seems casual.
"No- no pain," Logan breathes out, biting his lip. "It's just... weird. I'm not used to it."
"You'll get used to it eventually," Remus responds, with a grin. "Provided you wanna stick with me."
Logan rolls his eyes, as this was definitely not the right time to even mention that, considering Remus's cock was halfway inside of him at this moment
Remus is still for a moment though, giving Logan a moment to adjust and to completely process what was happening.
After a minute or so, Logan finally nods his head, his body relaxing completely.
"Good?" Remus asks, his hands sliding until they reach Logan's hips. His hands grip there a bit firmer, and Logan shifts slightly, before answering "good."
Remus's hands hold tight to Logan's waist, as he manages to slide his cock in fully.
Logan lets out a whine as it's fully inside of him, his hands moving to tightly grip Remus's shoulders. Remus rubs his hips, before leaning down to kiss over Logan's collarbone.
He still wants to bite down, and he doesn't hesitate to drag his teeth over the unhealthily prominent bone, but he resists biting. For now, at least.
When Logan starts shifting a bit to get more friction, Remus smirks, and he slides his cock halfway out, before thrusting harshly back in, causing Logan to let out a high moan.
Remus's smirk grows, as Logan bites his lip, his nails digging into Remus's shoulders.
"Remus," he breathes out, head laid back against the cushions, silently begging him to do that again. He'd verbally ask himself if not for the weird feeling inside of him that sent blood rushing to his face, which provided a pretty sight for Remus.
Remus obviously understood (he'd had enough sex to understand cues), as he pulls out again, almost fully this time, before slamming back into him, causing Logan's back to arch, as he cries out Remus's name, his legs closing instinctively around Remus's waist, effectively pulling him closer.
Although, Remus didn't seem to mind that much, as he connects their lips for a messier than usual kiss, as Remus had begun thrusting into Logan at a steady, albeit slow, pace. And while it wasn't as extreme Remus could go, or wanted to go, it was a lot for Logan, especially all at once and so suddenly in his life.
But, it's not like he could exactly complain in between all the pathetic noise involuntarily spilling from his mouth. Babbles of nonsense, as his body is introduced to more and more exciting stimulation.
Then, Remus suddenly hits something inside of him that shoots pleasure up his spine, his eyes rolling back into his head as his toes curl, as he whines out Remus's name.
"That spot feel good, baby?" Remus asks him, and Logan can only nod in response, his eyes now screwed shut in pleasure as Remus continues to thrust into that spot, earning loud moans and pitiful begs from Logan.
"Fuck..." Remus mutters, his nails digging into Logan's hips, puncturing the skin slightly. Logan would complain about how the germs from Remus's hands could potentially cause the very small wounds to become infected, if he wasn't too busy drooling and moaning.
"You close, Lo?" Remus grunts out, earning a gasped out "yes!"
Remus chuckles lowly, as one of his hands releases Logan's hip and instead grabs hold of his red cock, stroking it fast and irregularly compared to his thrusts. The action had Logan moaning, before he comes across his chest with a whine of Remus's name.
Remus, however, doesn't stop the assault on his cock, continuing to stroke it and thrust into Logan mercilessly. Logan whines at the overstimulation, laying lax against the couch as he continues to let Remus please himself, before Remus's nails dig hard into him and he groans, coming into the condom.
He stays inside of Logan for a moment, both of them catching their breaths, before he pulls out, sliding the condom off and tying it shut, before he gets up to go find a trashcan to toss it in.
When he comes back to the couch, Logan's eyes are shut, glasses askew on his face.
"Logan," he says, as he grabs his clothes and starts sliding them back on, ignoring the fact he was covered in sweat and had just gotten done having sex.
He receives no answer, so he gently pokes Logan's cheek after gathering all his stuff. "Logan?"
Still nothing. He hums, before shrugging. If he was tired enough to sleep, might as well let him sleep. He did end up stalking around his small, and rather poor looking apartment though, in search of a blanket. He finds one, neatly folded on the edge of Logan's bed, and he smiles as he brings it back into the living room. He pays no mind to the fact Logan's covered in come as he drapes the blanket over him.
Then, he pulls out his wallet, and sets multiple bills on the table, placing a half-full cup of water that was sitting on the table already on top of it, to keep it in place.
Then, whistling a strangely eerie tune, he walked off, making sure to lock Logan's apartment door behind him, for Logan's sake.
And, damn, this would be one hell of a thing to wake up and remember.
 Part 2
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marvelslut16 · 3 years
Text
Inseparable
Pairing: Reggie Mantle x reader
Synopsis: Reader and Reggie have been best friends since they were toddlers, nothing tearing them apart until Veronica their Junior year. This follows the rise and downfall of their friendship. Can they mend their friendship and be back to what they once were, will they be too hurt to fix their broken hearts, or will they finally admit their feelings for one another?
Word count: 2.6K+ (my hand slipped)
Warnings: Mr. Honey; he’s the worst villain to ever enter Riverdale, you can’t change my mind. Mentions of child abuse, nothing graphic past the mention of a black eye. Some angst. Spoilers for s4e4 technically, I still can’t believe what Mr. Honey did. 
A/N: I have like 11 requests I still have to get to, yikes. I swear I’ll do them soon, but inspiration hit and I ended up writing this. there isn’t enough Reggie love on Tumblr, plus I have a tiny crush on Charles Melton, so writing this was a win win. let me know what you think, and if I should write more for Riverdale. Veggie is better than Varchie (don’t come for me), but I still think Reggie deserves better than Ronnie. 
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Growing up in a small town like Riverdale there weren’t too many kids to become friends with, but when you met Reggie Mantle on your first day of preschool you knew he would be your best friend for life. Archie was showing off on the playground by walking up the slide when the teacher wasn’t looking. The problem then being that Archie's foot slipped right as you were walking passed the bottom of the slide, and he slid down and ended up knocking you on the ground. You started to cry because he scraped your arm bad enough that it started to bleed. Reggie, whom you shared a table with in class, watched from the sidelines as your teacher helped you up and took you to the nurse, he got his revenge during arts and crafts later that day- ‘accidentally’ spilling red paint all over the front of Archie’s khaki pants. When Reggie made it to the table you quietly thanked him and shared your paint with him since the teacher said he couldn’t have new paint as a lesson to be more careful next time. 
As the years went on, yours and Reggie’s friendship only grew until you were inseparable; you two went on family vacations together, you went to every single one of his junior bulldog football games from the ages of eight to twelve, he went to your ballet recitals when you took classes in grade school even bringing you roses. Reggie was your rock at your grandmother’s funeral, you helped him pass his geometry class Sophomore year so he could stay on the football team, and you were the only person that he opened up to about his father’s abuse- having witnessed it with your own eyes a handful of times. 
Your mom was convinced you and Reggie would fall in love and get married one day, and your father was convinced your friendship would crumble and ultimately go down in a blazing fire. Going into your senior year you hate to admit that your father was right, his words bouncing around in your skull every time your brain shut off for longer than two seconds. Veronica Lodge moved to town Sophomore year, enticing every boy within a fifty mile radius with her upper East side charm. Reggie didn’t fall for Veronica right away, he fell for her junior year when he was helping her with La Bonne Nuit. And as cliche as it is, that’s when you realized you were in love with him, you had been for a while. The small nagging voice in the back of your head told you that it had been since that day in preschool. 
But you would grin and bear the pain, the soul crushing pain, if it meant that Reggie would still be in your life. And you did, for a while at least; until Reggie stopped calling and texting you back, until he stopped begging you to come to his games, until he stopped sneaking into your room every friday night after a game to go over the play footage where you would help him come up with new plays and tweaks to the old ones, until he started ignoring you in the halls in favor of making out with Veronica. You never hated the girl, she had been nothing but nice to you anytime you would interact, but God, you just wished she would disappear and give you your Reggie back. 
You resented Veronica, leading your interactions with the girl to be more tense and your answers clipped, and that was what led to the blazing fire your father talked about. Reggie offered you a ride home one day after school, and of course you jumped at the opportunity to spend time with him again. Instead of going to pops and talking like you thought you would, the two of you got into your biggest, and last, fight ever. 
It started with Reggie asking why you hated Veronica, where you defended yourself and swore that you didn’t. But he wouldn’t believe a word that came out of your mouth, continuing to press you as you two kept driving. The closer you got to the edge of town the worse the fighting got, your voice raising along with his. You accuse him of abandoning his friends, abandoning you, to be with Veronica all the time. He gets mad that you don’t understand why he’s with her all the time, claiming that you couldn’t understand not when you’ve never had a boyfriend. Something that he’s the reason for, since he scared all of the guys even remotely interested in you away with just one piercing glare or one lowly growled threat. 
The comment picking on your relationship status, or lack thereof, is the straw that broke the camel's back. You let loose just as you pass the sign thanking you for visiting Riverdale, the town with pep. Pep your ass, the small town is full of death and endless heartache wherever you look. You rip into Reggie, letting the hurt take over as you scream and scream at him-calling him a terrible friend. He finally screams back, claiming that you’re worse because you hate his girlfriend. He has to pull his precious car over, the car you helped him pick out when he turned sixteen, because he started swerving when you two got into a screaming match. 
The interaction ends with you getting out of the car on the side of the road leading into Greendale, slamming the car door behind you, knowing that he’ll get mad with how aggressive you’re being with his baby, his Bella. He does a sharp U-turn driving beside you, trying to coax you into getting back in the car with him. But you can’t do that, you can’t face him right now. So as you watch the taillights of the gun metal grey Chevelle disappear around the curve in the road you finally let the tears fall down your face, they stream harder and faster the closer you get to reentering the town with pep. 
Reggie had dropped your backpack off at your house when he got back into town, so it was sitting there waiting for you in your living room alongside your worried mother. You cried into her arms that night for hours, until you were all cried out, not caring that you look like a big baby. You had just lost Reggie, you had just lost your everything. You hadn’t talked to him since that day in the middle of your junior year, even after him and Veronica broke up and she went back to Archie like always. The days of your senior year seemed to fly by, October coming in what felt like mere days as opposed to months, and your last Halloween in Riverdale is today. 
You and Reggie would always wear matching costumes to trick or treat, and school just for fun as you got older, this always prompted your classmates to wonder if you two were finally dating. But that wouldn’t be happening this year, for the first time ever. You had even dressed up and sat on his porch in costume when you were six, handing out candy to the other kids so you could talk to Reggie, who was in costume too, through the window because he was sick with a 102.2 degree fever. You were dressed as Kim and Ron that year, his mom had even crocheted him a little Rufus to stick in his pocket. You couldn’t wait to get out of this town, away from Reggie, away from the places where you would see ghosts of your younger selves everywhere you went. 
Kevin calls you freaking out after he and Reggie got caught tp’ing Mr. Honey’s office. Kevin caved after Mr. Honey threatened to make sure he wouldn’t get into NYU if he didn’t. Kevin felt guilty for his actions, and even though you hadn’t talked to Reggie in close to a year you were worried about him. Worried what his dad might do to him when he hears he got in trouble at school again, and worried what the unhinged Mr. Honey might do to him himself. 
You don’t hear anything from Reggie the next day, not that you really expect to. You more-so hope he’ll call you, but you know what they say about hope- it breeds eternal misery. The day goes by at a snail's pace as you stare at your phone throughout the entirety of said day. You finally curl in on yourself and go to sleep after midnight, however sleep doesn’t stay for long. You’re awoken around two in the morning from your phone’s incessant ringing, in your dazed stupor you don’t realize it’s Reggie’s special ringtone- the bulldog cheer from Kim Possible. 
“Hello?” you ask hoarsely, making sure to stay quiet so your parents won’t hear. 
“(Y/N/N), can you talk?” your startled to hear Reggie’s voice on the other line. It sounds scratchy, like he was recently in a screaming match with someone. You open your eyes for the first time, finally accepting that you won’t be able to just roll over and slip back into your dreams. You glance at the alarm clock on your bedside table and your eyes widen at the time.
“It’s like two in the morning Reg,” you sigh, hoping he’ll wait till morning. 
“Can I come over?” Reggie’s pleading now.
“Later, we can go to Pop’s for lunch or something,” you yawn loudly into the phone in protest. 
“I’m already here,” before you can respond the line goes dead.
You can hear quiet, almost not there, footsteps outside your window as Reggie expertly navigates his way through the flowers and bushes outside your window. He taps on the window three times in quick succession, your old signal for when he would sneak over letting you know it was him at your window. You reluctantly get out of your warm cozy bed, stumbling to the window to open it for your former best friend. 
Your plans for just slipping back into bed anf hopefully nodding off while he talks go out the window as you come face to face with Reggie’s swollen face. He has a split lip and a black eye, you’re sure he has belt marks on his back too. You don't care that Reggie is climbing through the window a little too loudly, your sole focus now on fixing him up. Once he’s in the room you sneak to the kitchen and quietly grab an ice pack, stopping in the bathroom to grab rubbing alcohol, cotton balls, and ibuprofen.  
You hand him the pain reliever and your bottle of water, it’s not the first time you’ve shared, as soon as you shut your bedroom door behind you. He swallows the pills down with ease, and you both settle on your bed, a sad depressing routine. You don’t say anything as you clean his split lip, he winces slightly when the alcohol drenched cotton ball makes contact with his open wound. 
“Mr. Honey caught Kevin and I last night,” Reggie admits quietly. 
“I heard, Kevin told me,” you murmur unsure of where this conversation is headed, so you continue to dab at his lip.
“Mr Honey, he said that no one takes me seriously, no one since you. He said that he heard around school that I made my ‘persona’ bigger, became more of a prankster, after I lost you. He-he knew about my dad, (Y/N),” Reggie’s voice cracks, you can’t imagine what he must be feeling right now. “Said people at school are laughing at me, worst of all, you’re laughing at me.”
“Oh sweetie, no!” you're quick to jump in and defend. “I would never laugh at you, you know that. Never. No one else is either, he was just saying that to get a rise out of you.” Your arm moves without your permission, you push a strand of black hair out of his eyes before caressing his cheek softly. 
“He tp’d my car, that I get. That was actually funny,” Reggie hisses, you aren’t sure if it’s because you’re lightly pressing the ice pack to his shiner or because of what he’s about to say next. “But he broke Bella’s windshield, shattered her passenger side window, and busted her left headlight.” 
“I’ll kill him!” you jump up from your spot on your bed, no longer caring if you wake your parents. Reggie holds the ice pack to his eye with his right hand, cautiously reaching for your hands with his left. You calm down when his fingers intertwine with yours, sinking back down next to him. 
“I avoided going home all day, but when I did and my dad saw the car,” Reggie takes in a shaky breath, and you rub the back of his hand with your thumb. “He did, well he did this.” He uses your joined hands to gesture towards his face. 
You don’t say anything, instead just pulling him in for a hug. Reggie tenses at first before melting into your warm embrace. You pull him down onto the bed with you so you're laying side by side, he rests his head on your chest as you tuck the two of you in. 
“I know we haven’t talked in a while,” you let out dissatisfied hum as you card your fingers soothingly through his hair. “But you're the only person I wanted to see, the only person I ever want to see. It’s been torture without you (Y/N).”
“It doesn’t seem like it,” you say under your breath, but he hears you clearly with his ear pressed to your chest. 
“I was an idiot, I let my ego keep me from you,” he moves his head to look up at you, his brown eyes shine with sincerity. 
“Don’t do this right now Reggie,: your eyes fill with tears, “Don’t do or say anything you don’t mean just to make me feel better.”
Reggie moves his right arm from around your waist to brush away a stray tear that slipped out of your eye. He moves his thumb down your cheek to your lips, tracing them with the pad of his thumb. Reggie lightly tugs down on your lower lip causing you to uncage it from your teeth, when did you even bite it in the first place? 
“I love you (Y/N), I always have,” he looks away from your mouth so he can stare into your eyes. “And I think you have too.”
“I have, I love you so much Reggie,” he pulls your face down to meet him. The kiss is searing, and a little wet due to the tears leaking out of both of your eyes, but it’s perfect. You pull back when you get the slightly tangy taste of blood on your tongue. You immediately fuss over Reggie’s lip, said lip splitting again during the makeout. Reggie pulls you back down onto the bed and into his arms after you’ve dabbed at his lip with the cotton ball again. 
“How can I make it up to you?” his eyes shine with unshed tears as he stares lovingly at your face, almost like he’s mesmerized by you. “Not just tonight, but leaving you for Ronnie so I could try to get over you, and for every other night you’ve taken care of me.”
“Just never leave me again,” you whimper, which is cut off when he kisses you again. 
“Never,” Reggie’s never been more serious about anything in his life. 
You cuddle up to Reggie’s chest, his warmth and scent quickly lulling you into  a deep comforting sleep. You don’t care that he should sneak out the window and go home, or that your mom will find you two cuddled up in your twisted sheets when she comes to check on you at ten. All you care about is Reggie being safe, in your arms, and finally having him back in your life-but with one vast improvement to your relationship.
Permenent tags: @crimson-knuckled-queen​ @rexorangecouny @mrs-malfoy-always​
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