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the-bounce-back · 5 years

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THE CONFIDENCE CHRONICLES PART II - CONFIDENCE IN YOUR BODY/APPEARANCE

This is post 2/5 of my “Confidence Chronicles” series, in which I discuss the mindsets, actions and thought processes I’ve applied to build/rebuild my confidence in different aspects of my life. The goal of these 5 posts is for you readers to be able to apply relevant points to your own insecurities in order to combat them, and hopefully aid in building your own confidence over time.

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Before I start...Yes, I am fully aware that it’s been three months since I said I would post more regularly. Yes, things have been shit in my life for a minute, and you probably know that I hate writing when I’m in a bad place. No, I’m not going to address it right now - probably in a future post though.

Cool. Safe. On to the good stuff.

Ever since I started this blog, I knew I wanted to do a post (or even multiple posts!) about confidence in your body, body image and getting to a point where you can look in the mirror and confidently look past your “flaws” and say “yeah… I’m that b*tch”. But truthfully speaking, I’ve been kind of struggling with figuring out how best to approach the subject.

Although I keep reiterating that I write these posts mostly for myself to express my thoughts and feelings on certain topics, I really wanted to make sure that this topic in particular was written in such a way that it can apply to anyone reading it. This, simply due to the fact that the insecurities I’ve battled over the years in relation to my body and appearance made me feel extremely alone, and it took me a very long time to understand and accept that - shock horror - I wasn’t the only one with crippling insecurities that I let limit myself.

Obviously, now this embarrassingly obvious, but I genuinely think that it took me longer to comprehend it due to that pretty much regardless of what situation I’m in, I’m always different to the norm in some way. My skin, hair, build and other physical features have always and probably will always set me apart from my peers regardless of where they are from, and this whole jOuRnEy has been about learning to accept and eventually love these differences and uniqueness. I want everyone reading this to come away from this post feeling the same way - that you, too, can learn how to love every aspect of your appearance regardless of what your “flaws” are, as an effort to boost your confidence and as a fat middle finger to a society that literally feeds off of our insecurities.

I’ll be using my former insecurities and anonymous examples of other people’s insecurities to illustrate my point, and hopefully you can find something that resonates with you and can help change your perspective on your physical appearance and body.

1. Consider taking time away from social media.

Who else remembers when Instagram first launched, and the “popular page” being clogged up with #thighgaps, #thinspo and #fitspo? I definitely do, because it was at this time in my life that my body image was at its absolute worst. I was very young at the time, and although it makes me sick to admit it, I let all those likes on the photos of thin and petite bodies get to my head and made me hate myself and my body for a very long time.

Looking back on it, I try (and fail) to not beat myself up over letting validation through likes, comments and followers ruin my self-esteem to the extent that it did - but what’s important is that I’ve gotten over it now, and I strongly believe it was due to my decision to take an indefinite hiatus from the app. Without the constant reminder that my body deviates from social media’s (often unrealistic) beauty standards, I definitely feel that learning to appreciate and love my body without something to compare it to came naturally, as opposed to feeling forced to just accept it - a mistake that I feel that many people make in the body positivity movement.

For me, putting some distance between myself and beauty standards online has really allowed me to see how harmful, contradictory and negatively influential social media can actually be - big shocker, I know. It’s no wonder that our generation of young women often struggle with extremely negative views of their own bodies - we literally get indirectly (and sometimes directly!) attacked regardless of how we look.

Naturally skinny? Honey, you’re anorexic.

A few kilos overweight? Babes, you are obese and if you don’t stop eating, you will die!!!11!1

Very curvy? B*tch, I know you’ve had work done.

Not curvy at all? Sweetie, you look like a boy.

In other words… we can’t win, and I’m sick of it. Recognizing that I would most likely (definitely) be somewhat affected (completely destroyed) by these beauty standards and peace’ing out early from Instagram is hands down the best choice I’ve ever made in terms of building my confidence. I can definitely say that due to this choice, I can now look at other womens bodies and appreciate the beauty of them, without letting it undermine my own beauty by cOmPaRiNg ThEm.

Who knows - maybe I’ll rejoin Insta one day, now that I know for sure that these illusions of perfection won’t get to me. I’ll keep it real though… considering I can barely manage to post regularly on here/my other socials, it’s probably a no.

2. Ensure that all changes you make are for yourself, and yourself alone.

This is a bit of a sticky one, and I appreciate that not everyone will agree with me on this. Luckily for me, it’s my blog and I can say whatever the hell I want.

Regardless of what your insecurity/insecurities with your body and appearance are, I’m a firm believer that you are 100% entitled to deal with this insecurity in any way that you see fit. This should be a no brainer - you’re the one dealing with the distress of whatever you’re insecure about, so why should you care what anyone has to say with your coping method?

The way I see it, it’s not the actual notion of doing whatever you want to feel secure in your body that causes division, but the actual coping method in itself. On one hand, we have those that are in favour of using ‘quick fixes’ (i.e. surgery) to achieve the body/features you want to have in order to feel secure. On the other hand, we have the gym goers and body positivity activists that adamantly argue that using invasive methods to change your body is a) not body positive at all (some even go as far as saying that surgery has to imply severe body dysmorphia and self-hate), and b) that not opting for changing your body through exercise and a hEaLtHy DiEt is lazy and implies psychological weakness.

Now - I’m really not here to argue about which one is the “right” or “wrong”, because I honestly believe it isn’t as simple as that. It’s important to remember that we’ve all had different experiences in life that have led to our confidence levels being as high or low as they are, so I really don’t understand why we feel the need to comment and judge other people on how they choose to combat their issues.

Do whatever the f*ck you want with your body - as long as you’re doing it for yourself and not for anyone else's satisfaction/validation.

When I say ‘someone else’s satisfaction/validation’, I mean letting yourself be policed by other people’s thoughts and feelings about your body/appearance - or altering your body/appearance in a way for someone else’s benefit than just your own. Yes, completely shutting other people's opinions out when you’re considering making changes is easier said than done - but the earlier you learn how to do this and understand that people are going to have their opinions regardless of what you do, the better.

Personally speaking, I often feel a little sad that I spent most of my teenage years/early 20s worrying so much about other people’s opinions on what I did with my body to boost my confidence - and not even just in terms of working out/staying in shape. The amount of tattoo/piercing/hairstyle/hair colour ideas I felt I had to shoot down because of fear of what my parents, friends, colleagues and mEn would think genuinely breaks my heart a little. I think it’s because I can look back on it and see how my obsession with how others perceived me ended up overtaking my own happiness and self-confidence.

Luckily for me, I now associate myself with likeminded people that agree with and encourage people’s individuality and autonomy over their bodies. The notion of doing whatever floats yer boat and makes you feel good about yourself in this life has now become the centre of attention in all aspects of life - and that includes doing whatever you want to do with your body. I’ll drink to that!

Anyways. Devise a 20h/week workout plan and low carb diet. Save up for the surgery. Cut and dye your hair. Get the piercing that’s always intrigued you, and take it out 2 days later if you don’t like it. You get the point. As long as it’s your life, your body and your appearance, do whatever the f*ck you want, because life really is too short to risk lying on your deathbed and wishing you had taken the opportunity to do something for your own satisfaction while you had the chance.

“But Liv! Telling people to alter their appearance to feel better about themselves isn’t body positive at all! How can you promote such?!”

Again, this section isn’t about blindly accepting your body for what it is if you’re not inclined to do so. Whilst we all ideally would be confident enough to leave our bodies in their natural state and not care, the sad reality is that it is actually really hard for most to just accept it. My point is that we should do whatever we want with our bodies to feel happy and confident, because life really is too short to hate the skin that you’re in and care about what other people think. ¿Entiendes?

(Of course, you should always care about what professionals (e.g. doctors, dieticians, surgeons) have to say - but I’m sure you get that. Do your research and stay safe before making choices, because if you come crying to me I won’t be listening.)

3. There is something very empowering about embracing your “flaws”.

I think everyone can relate to letting their “flaws” and insecurities hold them back in any type of way.

It can literally be anything - not wearing certain outfits/not having your hair parted a certain way/not doing certain makeup looks/not wanting to show a certain body part because someone at some point gave you the idea that it’s uNfLatTeRiNg when you do it, either directly or indirectly. Either way, it is up to you to determine how you react to criticism of this sort. Most of us (myself included) fall into the trap of just blindly accepting it and doing everything within our power to hide/conceal whatever the thing is - no questions asked.

This is where we’re all going wrong, because why do we care so much about what other people have to say about our natural appearance? Why do we let others dictate how we should present our bodies in order to be considered attractive? It don’t make no sense, luv.

I’m really saying all this like I wasn’t relaxing my hair every 3 months, using tons of makeup to conceal my deep set eyes, wearing clothes that didn’t cling to my stomach or hating how hench my thighs and shoulders are, because I wasn’t conventionally beautiful - at least not in the way that Swedish society dictated at the time. Spending a large time of your life convinced that you are ugly and trying to change things about yourself that make you unique is incredibly hard to break away from - but it is definitely possible and I have made amazing progress with this, and I hope you can too.

Basically, you need to force yourself to let go of all notions of what is considered beautiful and start from scratch with your own body as the bench-mark for beauty. You need to regard your appearance without any kind of input or influence from an external source. Without anything to compare to, how can you not find yourself beautiful? It really is that simple.

I’m definitely kidding, by the way. It’s really f*cking difficult - but it gets easier over time. It’s all about how willing you are to be uncomfortable with your appearance for a while until you’ve gotten used to it, and can work towards loving it. For example, when I decided to cut back heavily on makeup, it took an insane amount of time to get used to seeing my chubby face without painted on cheekbones and perfectly angled eyebrows - now I actually prefer my face without makeup. When I decided to start ignoring that my belly is pretty much visible regardless of what I wear, it took so long to stop trying to subconsciously cover it up, but now I wear whatever the f*ck I want - and look sexy af while doing so.

Etc, etc. You get the point.

The way I see it, letting go of the media’s/society’s notion of what beauty is, forcing yourself to get comfortable with the body you’re born into by any means you see fit and learning how to embrace your “flaws” as something positive that makes you unique are the main keys to becoming very confident in your skin. Of course, everyone has different notions of what body confidence entails, and I’m not really here to dispute anyone else’s theories.

As long as you’re learning to love what you see in the mirror, not letting your body be policed/criticised by irrelevant audiences and not trying to make changes for anyone else but yourself - I definitely reckon you’re on the right track to loving yourself in the way that you deserve.

Finally - showing how confident and in love with yourself you are has a positive effect on everyone around you, attracts more positive energy and empowers others to love themselves - this is literally a win-win situation, and I really hope you take the time to build this for yourself.

Love,

Liv

#selfhelp #selflove #Empowerment #goals #opinions

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steamishot · 5 years

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End of July

i think i’ll be starting my period sometime in the next 24 hours. my friend who i am synced with just started hers this morning. tomorrow, i am using a sick day to go to to dentist. my dentist is in san gabriel- a 20 minute drive east of my home. in the past, i would only take a half day, but then i thought, why am i stressing and rushing myself to go to work when i have all these sick hours. even more so when there’s not much pending at work. so, i plan on going to the dentist in the morning, having lunch in the area, then coming home and painting my living room and kitchen. my dad asked one of his home depot contacts to come work for us lol. i’ll be taping and painting along with him tomorrow so the job gets done faster. just came back from home depot earlier and bought two gallons of shiny luster paint- the same shade and sheen as my room. i also bought a darker grey to paint the borders for contrast. hopefully it looks good. a few weeks ago, our gallon full of coins got topped off. my mom would sit and individually package the coins into the sleeves banks provide whenever we wanted to exchange the coins for cash- this would take her nearly half a day. not sure why we never used coinstar before, but we finally did it. i learned that its an 11% fee if you exchange the coins for cash, but there is no fee when you exchange for a gift card. so, with one gallon full of coins, we got about $350 total- i put about half on a home depot gift card, and half on an amazon gift card. it was funny/so coincidental today that our total came out to be exactly 2 dollars less of our home depot gift card (my dad also had things to buy and we weren’t computing the costs).

events this past weekend: friend’s going away party. she received a scholarship from fullbright- which is a prestigious academic award to represent the US in international affairs. i didn’t realize how honorable it was til today and previously saw it as another “teach english abroad” opportunity. we ate at roe seafood in long beach. i thought the food was pretty bomb- i’d give it a 7/10. however, the more i ate of my scallop porcini pasta- the more water i had to drink. taste wise it was definitely there, but the cheese/carb combo was so damn heavy. i liked the group and it felt easy/natural to socialize (also because i was sitting in between my good friends b and s). in my last blog, i was venting about b, but i realize in the grand scheme of things- the little things i get annoyed by don’t matter. she continued to do the things i got ticked off by over text, but instead of getting irritated, i tried to teach myself to be loving and forgiving and think- she’s not me, i’m not her, don’t think that what i think is the “right” way of doing things is actually right. we had a nice time together that night. good vibes throughout.

watched lion king with my mom, grandma, bro and wife. i went into the movie having low expectations due to what everyone else was saying, but i enjoyed it. the fact that we got to live through seeing the cartoon version in 1994 to seeing it full in CGI in 2019 is incredible. i love the storyline of lion king. the scene where mufasa dies always gets me. i had to hold back tears during the emotional parts of the movie lol.

matt’s free time is decreasing and decreasing. he now has to work 6 days a week. he’s at work before i wake up, and still at work after i’m off work. on a GOOD day, he’ll only be at the hospital for about 13 hours, on a bad day, maybe 16 :(. he also has to study outside of work as they have monthly exams. saturday was his one day off during the week and it was kinda sad lol. he has one day to catch up on sleep and he’s too tired to do anything else. he tells me that he doesn’t have time to drink water at work, let alone use the restroom. his lunch consists of downing a soylent. his hospital is severely understaffed and he is doing nurses’ duties (drawing blood, patient care taking). he normally calls me right after he gets off work. i get to talk to him for about an hour or so, while he’s prepping dinner and eating. he then goes shower and gets ready to sleep and i get to see him again for a few minutes before he sleeps. i feel lucky that i’m the one he wants to talk to and see every day. i hope i brighten up his day, as he keeps saying he’s “dying” lol. when he didn’t match into a residency program, he was depressed. now that he’s in residency, it’s also depressing (but at least there is an end in sight). apparently the second and third year residents are super jaded and negative. i wouldn’t be surprised if he became like that in a year lol. on saturday, he called me right before i was going to shower. so i told him that i’ll call him back afterwards. as i got out of the shower, i saw a message from him saying - take your time, i’m gonna go shower too. so i took my time and started getting ready for the going away dinner. he called me 10-15 later and was like “you didn’t call me back!” there was something so satisfying about him being needy and clingy LOL. he’s naturally an independent cerebral person so i love it when he is needy.

saturday night at like 1am, i got a random text from L asking me about relationship stuff. coincidentally, i couldn’t sleep cus your girl would have been dead asleep by 11 any other day. i’m happy that she felt comfortable enough to reach out to me and share her feelings. i learned that we both are perfectionistic, have unrealistically high expectations, and are quite sensitive. she cares a lot about how others/her friends perceive her relationship. she shared with me an instance where her bf came off a bit rude to her in front of her friends and she felt “very disappointed” in him. if i place myself in her shoes, i can understand why she felt hurt. and if its an reoccurring thing, then i’m sure the pain is stronger. however, being “very disappointed” in your partner for being human is stressful for both you and them because you set unrealistic standards for the relationship. she wasn’t able to let it go and gave the incident more attention than it needed. from hearing her story, i basically saw my problems in someone else. it makes me realize how silly and crazy i am sometimes in making mountains out of molehills. i used to think that it was good to have high standards for your partner, and i often felt disappointed by my last partner. i think it reflected more on myself than him- my needs weren’t being met, i wasn’t happy in the relationship, i stayed with an incompatible partner, etc. having “high” standards is only valuable if the standards are attainable and something that can be worked towards.

i feel very happy with my current partner. being away from him for almost two months now has allowed me time to reflect on us and myself. i’m way more forgiving with the distance, and considerate about his new schedule and circumstance. in my last relationship, i started seeing the flaws around 8/9 month mark. and if i was smart and experienced enough, i would have realized those were dealbreakers (because in the end, i broke up with him for the same reasons). coming up on 9 months with matt, i feel secure and that our issues are small issues. we’re able to get along and have similar values and ideals.

his words can sometimes come off harsh but i’ve gotten used to it and actually really appreciate him being honest and constructive with me. a week or so before he left, i was hanging out in his room. i forgot what we were talking about before but he said, “you would be much much prettier if you worked out. not that you don’t look good now, but you would look better if you worked out.” i was a little bothered by that at first, but realized he is 100% correct. i never paid attention to my body much before- but skinny fat is not a good look or feel. my bikini pics in hawaii were meh lol i was flabby, weak and out of shape. i started working out recently with dumbbells and find it so fun- more efficient work out than without any equipment. working out also helps my face maintain its shape. i realized in the past months my face started looking more bloated and fat. i’ve even received comments from two of my older friends - “you got fatter. but just in your face.” i was never mindful of how my diet and exercise routine affected how i looked. which is really dumb as a human lol. i kinda wish i was more athletic when i was younger because i’m almost just starting from scratch now. however, i am grateful that i was at least somewhat active (hiking here and there, walking, leisurely workouts) in the last few years. so, he helped me gain weight to be at a normal range (this is the heaviest i’ve been my whole life). now it’s my job to tone myself. i’ve been saying this for some time, but i’m getting more cognizant about fitness which will help the consistency.

throughout our time together, he’s only lost his patience/raised his voice a little twice during arguments. the last time he did actually helped so much in putting me in my place. he is very smart and makes pretty good arguments sometimes haha. the last time, it made me realize that it’s better to nourish my relationship rather than bring drama into it. since then, i’ve thought twice about bringing up small issues that i can learn to let go. i love that he pushes and inspires me to be better and to be hardworking. and i’m glad i’m pretty receptive to his ideas.

i read old conversations with my past partner today. it was super cringy. i come off as cold, inquisitive, and serious and he comes off as immature, emotional and uninterested in my thoughts. even reading through our messages now i felt the frustration i felt when i was talking to him then. i felt i was always trying to change him into the person i wanted him to become. i saw the potential but i didnt see the person he was. to me, he was gross, trashy and had many insecurities. the more separated i am from it, the more i am disgusted with myself for choosing that lol. however, i am grateful for what he taught me, which was what attracted me to him in the first place- how to be intimate emotionally and physically, how to talk about feelings, how to communicate, how to talk about more difficult subjects, how to bring up issues, how to understand what i’m feeling, etc.

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merrybellies · 7 years

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Krakow, Poland

Most of the inbound and return flights of my traveling over the last 3 years have been completed alone. I traveled alone toward Africa on Christmas Eve in 2015, just as I did to Krakow last year. And each time it feels like those first couple of months after starting a new job you’re enjoying, where you’re kind of anxious, but mostly excited. I didn’t feel a twinge of sadness leaving my sister, fiancé and the pet kids behind for Christmas but there was some nervousness because this time, I wasn’t meeting up with anyone at my destination.

I didn’t know what to expect from the trip. Which is where most of the love I feel for traveling is derived: having no expectations about where I am going. I am a bit promiscuous when it comes to city love, I’ve enjoyed them all. But this trip would be different, I knew, because I’d never done any exploring alone. And if anything I worried that I would become bored with myself, because if there is anything I do despise in this world is when someone mentions they are bored. But it turns out, I really enjoyed myself. The best part of traveling on your own, as any blog will tell you, is being on your own schedule, and doing whatever your little heart pleases. If I felt I needed to leave my room, it was great knowing I could take a walk as far and as long as I wanted to go.

To be honest, the moment I knew the trip would go well was when I boarded my flight in Miami. The aircraft was practically empty, but I realized I had forgotten my earphones at home. Which saddened me because the flight had Absolutely Fabulous available. I couldn’t tell if the crew would be distributing headsets but I did find an unused one in my seat pocket! It’s a bunch of romanticism but I’m not going to apologize for the smile and warm feeling that came over me because of this Festivus miracle!

I landed in Krakow on Christmas Day, after being shuttled from aircrafts to the airports in Berlin and Krakow, in the rain. I was confused that this was protocol in Europe, or what seems to be protocol- I can’t confirm. It was freezing. I don’t think I’ve ever visited anywhere so cold in my entire life. It made me very thankful for my Miami weather.

My hostel in Krakow was a few steps away from the central train station, and not at all hard to find. It houses a decent pub, with a basement dedicated to smokers. It took me two nights before I realized I didn’t have to kill myself in the 30 degree weather.

Somewhat attached to the central train station is where the old Krakow train station used to be. And in it, the Van Gogh Alive exhibit was taking place- which I highly recommend. I visited on a particularly cold day, when I couldn’t even think about walking anywhere at length. And it is so easy to get around on foot in Krakow once you’ve visited the Old Town and Kazimierz. Once you can locate where you are in reference to the Wisła, all bets are off. Which is why I enjoyed the city so much. The only time I had to take transportation was when I visited Auschwitz. Another interesting bit is that I found it easier to stay warmer during my walks at night, and not in the morning/afternoon.

Finding somewhere to eat is not a problem. I didn’t have a bad meal in Krakow, except where burgers are concerned. And to be fair, it’s really only the burger buns that need improving. The buns can be heavily toasted which in turn causes them to crack midway through your meal. I did spend the week loading up on carbohydrates, which was ok in my mind, because I was walking for hours on end. On my way home, one of my thoughts was being excited to not eat carbs for a bit. After a long hot shower at home, and prepping for New Year’s Eve, I still went ahead and ordered pizza.

Krakow is dirt cheap for a tourist. I’m not even kidding. I never paid more than $15 for anything I did or ate. My train/bus tickets were never more than $4. It definitely added to the enjoyment of the vacation, but Krakow is full of history too. The Roman Catholic style churches are gorgeous, as well as the rest of the city’s architecture. Granted, Krakow looks a lot like Paris to me, but you can feel conservatism you wouldn’t feel in Paris from miles away. Everyone speaks English, but a lot of people are in a hurry, and much like in Paris, will get upset with you if you get in their way. Thinking back fondly on it, I was cursed at twice in Paris for not moving fast enough.

Before I arrived home, I had to pass the test of an overnight layover in Copenhagen. I also booked my first night ever in a hostel. And when I say first night, I mean in a mixed room, with three other strangers, since I booked a private room in Krakow. Originally I was going to go with a female only room of 10 beds but I wanted to inch my way into this thing first. I picked Urban House, which I later learned was in the Red Light District of Copenhagen. It has great reviews as it should. It’s pristine, clean, and comfortable. The atmosphere inside the lobby/bar/restaurant when you first walk in is ideal if you’re looking to meet others. I only had food and rest on my mind, so I headed to my room immediately after arriving at the train station. First, before I get to that part, Urban House emails your check in details: door code, floor and bunk number a few hours before check-in: very convenient and you don’t have to wait at a front desk when you arrive. Second, when I did step out of the train station, I was in complete awe of what I saw. I think I had butterflies for the first time in my life? Something about this part of the city, and perhaps seeing so many bicycles, made me feel so grateful that I could see what I did, even if it was for just a few minutes. This Copenhagen looks as though it is straight out of a movie. The lights emanating from the buildings and the string of lights glowing in the misty air, with cars and people smoking at a nearby pub (“3rd best pub in Copenhagen!”) made me want to walk all night and see all of it. And I hope to return!

Unfortunately, I landed a weird roommate. He was hanging out on his top bunk when I arrived and we introduced ourselves and he seemed really nice. We spoke for a few minutes before I asked if he knew where I could grab something to eat. He said my best bet was the train station, and that he was going downstairs to the bar. The bar’s kitchen closed at 9, and I arrived at 11, so I took up his suggestion. I walked to the train station with every intention of ingesting McDonalds because I didn’t care anymore and just wanted to sleep. Except that the late night menu at this McDonald’s meant any value meal included two sandwiches, the fries and drink. Half of me thought it would be too wasteful of me to pretend I could eat all of that food, and the other half of me didn’t even want to imagine the aftermath of the consumption, especially on a 10 hour flight home in a few hours. So I left, and went to wash up for bed. My restlessness didn’t allow me to sink into sleep before my gracious roommate returned. And while I can’t confirm he returned with a guest to our bathroom, I can’t imagine why else he’d leave the sink running to drown out his gagging sounds for a half hour. Only to be continued by another hour of him walking in and out of the bathroom, while opening and closing his locker. I didn’t know what to say. And then, after he finally decides to go to bed, an hour later, another roommate shows up and I don’t think I fell asleep until 4:30am that morning, and ran out at 6:30am for my flight. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. I was so creeped out.

This didn’t put me off from hostels but I just thought that crappy experiences would happen further down the road and not the first time. I truly was expecting the sense of camaraderie everyone talks about. But I’ve also learned it’s totally normal to arrive to your room late in the night.

In the end, Krakow was easy, and probably why I enjoyed it so much. But it was exactly what I needed: a stress free, easy vacation. I will want to step it up next time- maybe somewhere like Ukraine or Hungary. Two or three more solo trips before I venture into Asia.

#krakow #Poland #travel #Miami

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josephsfng · 7 years

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FINALLY! WEIGHT LOSS FAILURES EXPOSED! “CAN YOU TRUTHFULLY ANSWER THE FIVE QUESTIONS THAT CAUSED YOUR WEIGHT LOSS FAILURES?”

Quote “Everyone faces defeat. It may be a stepping-stone or a stumbling block, depending on the mental attitude with which it is faced.” By Napoleon Hill (He was an American self-help author. He is well known for his book Think and Grow Rich (1937) which has sold 20 million copies and is among the top 10 best-selling self-help books of all time.)

Allow me to kick start with this sharing! Consider this scenario of your weight loss route to weight reduction. Trust me, it’s well paved and yet many people are reluctant to undertake the journey. The mere talk of weight loss program discourages any initiative to lose weight. Agree or not?

TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST! The sad news is there is no easy route. The good news is there is a way to start this trip of true health with the more benefits of weight loss, but one must be ready to go the distance. So are you ready to read on?

YES, YOU HAVE HEARD ME RIGHT! There is always a blue print for success and one failure. The twist is people tend to take the usual and less taxing route. That leads to no change. Because they choose not the more demanding and often bumpy road to a newer and better health and fitness. It is no wonder many cannot arrive at the chosen location, or achieve the goals of a teenager’s figure. Please do take a minute to let that sink in. Such a simple statement is ever so easy to skip over. I make no apology, if there is a need to repeat them.

BIRD EYE VIEW

At this juncture, shall we take a quick pit stop here? This paragraph is indeed a comprehensive glance of this article. For starters don’t be shocked the first and foremost failure question is ‘Why does exercises fail?’ You will be amazed that failure question no. 2 is ‘Why do diets fail?’ Believe it or not the next question is ‘Why do drugs fail? Again don’t be disturbed if the next failure question is none other than, ‘Why don’t we fail to plan and unconsciously plan to fail?” Last but not the least is the question ‘Why do we not understand our food intake types and our body reactions.’ Not too difficult I guess!

First thing first. Shall we begin?

FAILURE NO. 1. WHY DOES EXERCISES FAIL?

Frankly speaking did you know that 20 minutes of jogging only burns an average of 200 calories? By the same token, the first 20 minutes of brisk walking subtracts off the glucose in the blood, followed by sugar deposits in the liver and muscles (glycogen). So if the target is weight loss, aerobic exercise has to go beyond half an hour to burn the fat.

I HAVE A BUDDY WHO RELIGIOUSLY undertake the weekend walk in the park (burning 200 calories) and adjourn to their preferred hawker stalls (eating back 800 or more calories) thereafter. And claim that exercise does not work! Hence, you can see exercise must be on a daily basis since it raises the metabolic rate and plays a part in the calorie balance sheet, but ultimately it is what one eats after the thread-mill that counts.

Aside from the question ‘Why exercise fail?’ you have yet another important failure question to answer.

FAILURE NO. 2. WHY DO DIETS FAIL? The unvarnished truth is that there are so many wrong concepts and bad science, especially relating to fad diets. Our body thrives on a balanced diet constituting 50% of calories from good carbohydrates, 25% from good proteins and 25% from good fats. Trust me this is not doctoral thesis!

Lost you so far? Don’t worry! Just keep reading and you will get it. Let me continue further. This ratio of macronutrients provides the human machinery with maximum biological efficiency. Many innovative diets have come and go, each trying to outdo the other by attempting to rearrange the needs of the human cells, with some pretty nasty but expected outcomes.

You know what? Various calculations led to the high carb, low fat diet; low carb, high fat diet; high protein, low carb diet, but the fat persisted! No one can sustain this diets on the long term. There was a time when the controversial high protein diet took the world by storm as glamorous movie stars endorsed the diet of meaty proteins, forsaking carbohydrates. The results were phenomenal as pounds could be shed even without exercise.

However, there is a price to pay! Our body needs energy and the primary source has to be derived from carbohydrates. By supplying only proteins, we cheat our cells and starve them of the fuel. Out of necessity, the cells seek the emergency stores of fat and subsequently proteins. Imagine, when our power supply is cut and all we have is a backup generator. Even if the inefficient power does not drive us mad, the toxic fumes would certainly kills us! Shocking? But it’s true!

To be crystal clear this kind of diet is known as a "ketotic" diet, which pushes our body to an abnormal state turning the blood acidotic, and courting kidney disease, heart disease and osteoporosis. Hello? Did you understand what I said above? I hope so!

By the way, if you read nothing else important then read this slowly and carefully!

FAILURE NO. 3. WHY DO DRUGS FAIL?

Correct me if I am wrong? Many so called diet pills were launched with fanfare and have since disappeared. In my personal opinion, there is no miracle pills; of course there are appetite suppressants, fat blockers, fat burners, metabolic-enhancers and etc. A drug cannot single-handedly treat obesity because the root cause is personal complacency, poor discipline, errors in information and a faulty lifestyle.

SPEAKING FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, I confess that any drug that is released on the market would have under- gone various stages of study, from laboratory animals, small pilot studies to multi centre trials. The largest and most conclusive evidence on the efficacy and side effect of a drug is derived from Post Marketing Surveillance, which means data collected and analyzed after it has been approved and sold for public use? There are many examples of drugs touted to be safe and effective, only to be banned later as they caused worrisome side effects. Hello? Read my lips as I say it again. ‘There are many example of drugs claimed to be safe and effective only to be banned later’. Get my picture now?

With that it reminds me, it's high time to answer the next question. Yes?

FAILURE NO. 4. FAILURE TO PLAN AND UNCONSCIOUSLY PLAN TO FAIL.

Any question so far? If none, let me say that the ultimate reason for failure however, is because there was no plan to start off with in the first place. Or simply it was a bad plan. I agree with you that repetition is stale, but here is a strong reminder of, “Find a plan that works, and work the plan", otherwise it is an exercise of planning to fail.

Up next, it’s the last but by no way it’s the least. Shall we tango on?”

FAILURE NO. 5. FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND OUR FOOD INTAKE TYPES AND OUR BODY REACTIONS.

To explain more fully, let me share with you a deep secret. Unreasonable demand on our fine and integrated body for a rapid weight loss is like taking three apples a day. Yet it can have fantastic results. But the doctor will have to make three visits a day in the hospital to make sure there is still life in you.

IN TRUTH, UNDER STARVATION, our body learns to adjust to a lower than normal metabolic rate, but once re-feeding takes place, the body balloons to more than before as a rebound phenomena.

And that’s not all. Since carbohydrate is the main culprit (provided calories from fat are maintained below 30%) in obesity. And we need it for energy, the choice of the right fuel is important. Hence it is best to avoid empty calories (like carbonated drinks and sweets) and calorie dense foods. Get my drift? You bet!

By the way, without sounding like a broken record allow me to sum up this article. Alright?

SUMMARY

To cut a long story or the article short, let me recap. Yes? If you still remember, the initial failure is ‘Why does exercises fail?’ You may recollect the next failure is ‘Why do diets fail?’ The third failure question is, ‘Why do drugs fail?’ Do take into account again failure question no. 4 is failure to plan and unconsciously plan to fail. Lastly the failure question is the failure to understand our food intake types and our body reactions. Easy to remember and do? A big ‘Yes’ if you ask me!

Finally to crown off this article, let me end with this succulent paragraph below. Okay?

CONCLUSION

Suffice to say, shortly after you start avoid or overcoming the failures and get going, this would mean a lot to your body. How great would it be to feel young and active again? So take up my suggestions, even you are a little hesitant. Put your mind to rest and consider the benefits that you would enjoy! Further more, don’t miss out this chance of getting a newer and better body . . . especially when is within your reach to take positive steps now and today.

End of article

PS. If you like this article and more, then I invite you to log on to our blog at http://www.josephsfng.blogspot.com. You can even email me at [email protected]. We are only too happy to advise you more of weight loss, slimming, dieting and obesity. Ok? Thanks. Weight Loss Adviser Joseph Ng.

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lindafrancois · 4 years

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What’s the Best Diet to Lose Weight? (Which Diet is Right for Me?)

If you’re currently trying to lose weight, you might be asking yourself:

“Which diet is right for me?”

What’s the best diet for weight loss?”

They’re great questions, both with many different variables to consider.

Today, we’ll unpack it all for you.

We focus on proper diet and nutrition extensively in our 1-on-1 Coaching Program, but we’re gonna tell you everything you need to know below too.

Want to lose weight WITHOUT hating life? Learn how we can help!

Here’s what we’ll discuss in answering “What’s the best diet to lose weight?”:

How to eat for healthy weight loss

Which diet will help me lose weight?

Why can’t I stick to a diet?

Which diet is the most effective in weight loss? (The 80% solution)

What’s a “good enough” diet? (Steve’s 80% solution)

Will being a vegetarian (or vegan) help me lose weight?

How to pick the diet that’s right for you (Next steps)

It’s a lot to cover, but DON’T PANIC.

We’ll get through it together using science, stories from our very own community, and one too many pop-culture references:

Let’s get started.

How to Eat For Healthy Weight Loss

Here’s exactly how to lose weight:

#1 – Eat fewer calories than you burn every day.

#2 – Want to also be healthy? Eat mostly real food.

Full stop.

Want to KEEP the weight off?

Add #3: Do those two things consistently for a decade.

This solution will get you like 90% of the way towards a killer physique and a consistently healthy checkup at the doctor.

Mix in the right training and you’ll be 99% of the way there.

The problem is that pesky things like “reality” and “genetics” and “human behavior” keep getting in the way.

It’s why everybody goes on diet after diet after diet, gaining and losing the same 10-50 lbs.

Most people can only stick with a diet for a few weeks before they’re so miserable that they can’t wait to go back to how they were eating before.

They count calories and allow themselves to eat “health food” like low-fat ice cream and low-fat chips and just two Oreos. These people are so nutritionally deficient—eating calorie-heavy, unfulfilling foods—that they struggle to stay under their allotment of calories for they day. D’oh.

To make matters worse, even if they’re counting calories, they’re probably misreporting their food and overeating without realizing it.[2]

This is why people get so dang frustrated when they go on a calorie-restricted diet, track their food, and still don’t lose weight. The only explanation must be that their bodies must have slow metabolisms.

Yes, some people can do well with calorie counting long term – and I do believe EVERYBODY should count calories for at least a week to educate themselves about the food they are eating – but I think it’s only part of a solution that has plenty of room for error.

Watch this quick video of a person who believes she has a slow metabolism[3].

It turns out the exact opposite is true. Crap.

youtube

Despite everything stacked against us, Nerd Fitness is FULL of success stories of people who have lost 100s of pounds and kept the weight off. Here are a few dramatic ones (click on the images to read their full stories):

What gives?

Nerd Fitness doesn’t just tell you what to eat. Any Google search can tell you that.

Though we help there too.

At Nerd Fitness, we’re helping you learn HOW to think about eating too.

And that’s the difference maker.

Which Diet Will Help Me Lose Weight? (Mental Models for the Win)

The Nerd Fitness community is full of ridiculously smart people. Smart people that have tried in vain to lose weight for years or decades.

It’s because we’re fighting a brutal, uphill battle.

For many of us, food is way more than just fuel:

It’s a coping mechanism.

It’s how our moms showed us love.

It’s what we turn to when we’re happy or sad.

It can provide us with a small bit of happiness during an otherwise boring day.

Add in the fact that unhealthy food has been designed in a laboratory to be so delicious that it must be consumed in mass quantities, and trying to eat “just a few” of something is nearly impossible.

Next, add a dash of “I am obsessive and if I start to track calories I’m going to drive myself insane,” “even if I track my calories I’ll probably underreport how many calories I eat by at least 20%,” and “there is so much information that this all appears so overwhelming, so it’s a lost cause.”

This is why Mental Models are so useful (hat tip to my friend Shane over at Farnam Street Blog who taught me about Mental Models). I’m gonna borrow the concept here for nutrition.

Enter a MENTAL MODEL DIET:

Paleo Diet: If a caveman didn’t eat it, neither should you. “Okay, what would a caveman eat? Probably things that grow in the ground, so vegetables and fruit, and also animals. They wouldn’t eat candy or bread or pasta or drink soda.”

Keto Diet: Keep your carb intake under 5% (or more extreme, 10 grams, for example) of your total calories so your body has to burn fat for fuel instead of carbs and sugar. “Time to learn how many carbs are in everything I eat, and start tracking.”

Slow Carb Diet: Eat legumes, protein, veggies. “Time to learn how to make food that only fits the slow carb model. At least until cheat day!”

Intermittent Fasting: Only eat between 12pm and 8pm. Occasionally do 24 hour fasts. “Okay, so I’ll just skip breakfast. That’s one less meal I have to think about.”

In each of the above options, there are a few similarities that make them such trendy/popular diet choices.

For the sake of simplicity, we’re going to hold off on digging into the health benefits that apply to a small percentage of the population on certain diets (Keto to treat epilepsy, Paleo/Keto for Hashimoto’s Disease, identifying a gluten intolerance, etc), we’re going to focus on the reasons MOST people pick these diets.

They’re simple to comprehend and will probably help you lose weight:

#1) They all will result in you eating fewer calories (usually).

If you follow the Paleo Diet, you are eliminating some of the most calorie dense, nutritionally deficient, unhealthy foods out there. No more soda, no candy, no bread, no pasta, no sugar, no dairy.

If you follow the Keto Diet, you must track your carb intake, which means you’re going to also learn how many calories are in everything else you eat. You’re also essentially eliminating an entire macronutrient from your diet that’s notorious for keeping people overweight.

If you follow the Slow Carb Diet, you learn about which foods you can eat and which foods you can’t eat: yes to beans, no to dairy and grains. Like Paleo or Keto, you’re eliminating massively unhealthy foods from your diet, which will most likely result in weight loss.

If you do Intermittent Fasting, you’re eliminating 1/3rd of your meals for the day! Let’s say you normally ate an 800 calorie breakfast, 800 calorie lunch, and 800 calorie dinner. If you SKIP breakfast, that means you could eat larger lunches and dinners (1000 calories each) and still end up eating 400 calories less per day on average. That’s enough for 3-4 pounds of weight loss per month!

#2) You can answer “YES” or “NO” to adherence.

Sure, it would be great if you could weigh every element of food that you eat, and track each meal in a spreadsheet and KNOW you’re tracking each calorie and macronutrient correctly.

And for some people looking to get to bodybuilder levels of bodyfat, this level of perfection is required.

However, for the rest of us, working regular jobs, with kids, and lives, this shit is wayyyyy too much.

So these mental models are so damn helpful because they can simplify the overly complicated and allow us to get out of our own heads.

These Mental Model Diets require compliance and consistency. In each instance, there’s a very specific answer you can say every day, and a question you can ask yourself with each meal.

As our favorite green Jedi Master once said, “Do or do not. There is no try.”:

Paleo Diet: “Would a caveman eat this?” Yes or no.

Keto Diet: “Am I in ketosis?” Yes or no. You can even pee on strips to see if you are in ketosis.

Slow Carb Diet: “Did I only eat slow carb foods today?” Yes or no.

Intermittent Fasting: “Did I skip breakfast today? Did I stop eating after my feeding window?” Yes or no.

In each of these examples above, it removes ALLLLLLLL of the fluff, simplifies the heck out of our complex physiology and a complex problem. And it allows us to stop fooling ourselves.

With the mental models above, we have rules and a framework within which we can operate. It starts with black and white YES or NO questions we can ask.

We know what (or when) we can and can’t eat.

It’s a lot easier to fool ourselves when we are sneaking bites of cookies, having an extra roll at dinner, drinking a larger soda during a long night at work, eating some of our kid’s Halloween candy, and overeating while absentmindedly watching television.

When the rules are black and white, yes or no, there’s no place to hide.

Which means we need to get our act together if we’re going to stick with something.

We start to understand the quality and quantity of things we are putting in our pie holes. We start to dig into our relationship with food.

And in MANY cases, we start to lose some weight (again, see #1 above); this starts to make us feel better about ourselves. And we chase that feeling.

We create a positive virtuous cycle where we lose weight, get complimented, wake up not feeling like crap, look forward to exercising, and over time we become permanently changed, healthier, happier people.

In a similar vein, The Whole 30 Diet works for many people (“I only eat Whole 30 foods for the next 30 days”), but it will not result in long term changes if somebody goes back to their original unhealthy diet after the 30 days are up.

Temporary changes = temporary results.

#3) They can be done incorrectly, are tough to stick with long term, and won’t work for everybody.

Depending on our genetics, upbringing, lifestyle choices, addiction to sugar, relationship with food, what foods satiate us, etc., some of these options might work better for us than others.

As mentioned above, if ANY of the above nutritional strategies are done temporarily, they will result in temporary changes. This is how the majority of people go through life: gaining and losing the same 15-30 (or 50, or 100) pounds as they go on a diet and off a diet.

It’s a rollercoaster.

And not the good kind of rollercoaster with flips and corkscrews and probably involving Batman. It’s more like one of those rickety old wooden coasters that ruins your back.

Those rollercoasters suck, and so does putting your body through crazy weight loss extremes, up down, yes no, yo-yo.

Although these Mental Model diets can help people lose weight, they are often done for short time periods to get quick results.

And that’s only if people can actually stick with them long enough to get results!

Let me explain.

Why Can’t I Stick to a Diet?

There are two main reasons why these diets won’t work for you.

Some of them are more strict, have more rules, and require you to be more militant in your approach.

Even if you are strict in applying the rules, you can STILL do the diets incorrectly and gain weight because of this whole concept of thermodynamics.

Don’t get mad at me. Get mad at science.[4]

MOST PEOPLE GROW FRUSTRATED BY POPULAR DIETS BECAUSE:

#1) You Can Do These Mental Model Diets Incorrectly:

Paleo: I know people who “go paleo” but eat just as many calories as they did in the past: they are eating paleo cookies, buckets of dried fruit (soooo much sugar and carbs), sweet potatoes, and so on. This person will be frustrated when they don’t lose weight.

Keto: If you go Keto but eat 5,000 calories per day, you’re gonna put on weight. Do this while sitting on your ass not doing heavy strength training, and that weight will be all fat.

Intermittent Fasting: If you do intermittent fasting but eat 2,000 calorie lunches and dinners, you’re gonna put on weight. Hell, I put on probably 30 pounds while doing IF, which was my plan.

Slow Carb: If you go slow carb but eat 6,000 calories of beans and other slow-carb worthy foods, you’re gonna gain weight (and have extreme flatulence).

#2) Sticking with these Mental Model Diets for the long haul can be tough!

The Paleo Diet and the Keto diet often come up dead last when it comes to a “List of Best Diets.”[5]

Now, the people writing those lists certainly have agendas, are trying to deal with the general population, adherence, a number of other factors, and more. In addition, there just haven’t been enough long term studies on some of these newer diet strategies.

Oh, and factor in anybody that wants to get page views by taking shots and tearing down whatever becomes popular. We’ll call this the “hipster phenomenon.” I look forward to the vitriolic backlash to Keto Diets over the next 3 years.

And you never know who to trust. Coca-Cola famously used to bribe scientists to conduct studies claiming sugar was healthy.

So why the hate for diets that have changed millions of lives and will probably help you lose weight?

The reason these diets have poor compliance is because most people will abandon them within days/weeks after starting them:

If somebody is following Paleo or Keto, they’re gonna go through “carb flu” symptoms as their body has to learn to burn fat instead of carbs for fuel. Their body can revolt against this, making them miserable for days or weeks.

Many give up and go back to sweet, comforting carbs. I imagine this happens to a majority of people.

For others, they might make it past the physiological challenges but still give up on the date. They hate having to be the difficult one at barbecues, they hate weighing food or counting carbs, and find the diets too restrictive to fit into their lives.

Compliance and elimination of certain foods can be really challenging, especially for people with families, who travel for work, and aren’t in control of the lunch and dinner options.

In an EXTREME example of a Mental Model diet done for publicity, a professor went on the Twinkie Diet (he ONLY ate Twinkies) and lost 27 pounds.[6]

Disregarding the health implications of only eating Twinkies, I can’t imagine saying “this is a diet I can stick with for the next decade.”

#3) People think “All or Nothing” and quickly abandon the diet when compliance fails.

If you are somebody who is on a Keto Diet or Paleo, you have a very specific set of rules to follow. If you accidentally slip up:

Oh crap, that food had more carbs than I realized, I am now out of ketosis and my world has ended.

Oh crap, I didn’t realize this was dairy. I have now brought shame upon my paleo heritage and must atone for my sins.

Life happens. Shit happens. And with these diets, we dumb humans have this unique ability to take one tiny mistake and allow it to ruin the next decade:

“I ate a breakfast that wasn’t Paleo, today is ruined and so this month. I’ll try again next month (even though it’s only the 5th). Oh look, a pile of carbs! NOM NOM NOM.”

“I got knocked out of Ketosis, which makes me a loser that can’t stick with anything and I hate myself. What’s the point? Who cares that I was in ketosis and lost 30 pounds. I’ll try again later. Now back to my regularly scheduled program of carbs and carbs and carbs topped with carbs!”

No wonder 60+% of America is overweight! We’re surrounded by calorie-dense, nutritionally-deficient foods designed to make us overeat.

We’re also surrounded by diet plans and products that promise fast results with no effort. We sabotage ourselves by thinking “99% complaint” is a failure and thus it’s a quick slide back to “0% compliant.”

It’s for these reasons I LOVE the IDEA of the Mental Model Diets above, but know that they’re not for everybody. They’re actually not for most people.

I think they can be a valuable starting point to help somebody simplify their decision-making process and educate themselves about the food they’re eating.

These Mental Model Diets can help people identify certain nutritional deficiencies or imbalances somebody might have, or unknown allergies.

They can help people identify sugar addictions, gluten intolerances, emotional triggers for food, and other valuable information to uncover.

And as previously mentioned, some of these diets even have serious health benefits for certain conditions (Keto has been used to treat epilepsy, for example).

But let’s stick with the general population and keep things simple.

For somebody that is very overweight, following one of the Mental Model Diets can be a huge boon and momentum builder. They can lose lots of weight early on, and build off this success to beget further success.

I also think long term compliance is really difficult for 95+% of the planet.

This is why the Paleo Diet isn’t for me. Nor is Keto. Or slow carb. And although I have been Intermittent Fasting for close to 5 years, I still don’t mind eating breakfast or brunch occasionally because it fits for me.

I want the solution that is pretty good. That gets me results. That fits into my reality.

This is the rough philosophy behind our 10-Level system which you can download as a free PDF when you sign up in the box below, which allows you to be damn good most of the time! Simple rules you can follow, and increase the challenge as you build momentum.

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

What Is the Most Effective Weight Loss Diet? (The 80% Solution)

You are a real person who lives in the real world and thus must deal with this thing called reality.

Sucks, I know.

We have to learn to make a Mental Model diet fit into our personal reality:

If you work in a candy store or a pastry shop, trying to go full Paleo 100% of the time is going to be impossible. You’re setting yourself up for failure, because you’re expecting your reality to be different than it is.

If you’re married to somebody who loves to cook Italian food, cutting out pasta is the first step towards divorce.

If you have kids, only keeping Keto foods will not win you any “Parent of the Year” awards. And you can kiss that “#1 Dad” mug goodbye.

If you can’t have “just one” of something, don’t fool yourself into trying to be disciplined enough to have “just one.” It’s actually why I pay extra money for small cartons of Goldfish Crackers and/or small cans of soda. It makes it easier for me to treat these things like…well, a treat and less like a staple of my diet.

You need to educate yourself about the food you eat. You need to identify the mental models that simplify your decision making process when it comes to food.

And you need to pick the level of adherence that aligns with your goals:

It’s why I wrote about how I’m “Paleo-ish” in the past. For some people, they start Paleo and settle into a “good enough” mentality that still has guardrails.

It’s why our “Beginner’s Guide to Healthy Eating” is one of our most popular articles.

It’s why thousands have joined Nerd Fitness Prime with our 10-level diet blueprint.

And it’s why our Online Coaching Program doesn’t promote a “one diet fits all” solution. Our coaches have our hundreds of clients track how they’re eating now and then educate them to introduce new rules and challenges from month to month!

We don’t want you to follow a diet for the next 30 days. We want you to follow a nutritional strategy that you can stick with for the next DECADE.

Which means you need a solution that accomplishes three things:

A strategy that you can follow consistently for 5+ years.

A strategy that you can track your compliance with.

If done long enough, a strategy that will help you reach your goal weight/physique.

Following a “pizza, pasta, and soda” diet might be something you can stick with for 5+ years, but it won’t make you reach your healthy weight.

If Keto will help you lose weight but you can’t stick with it for 5+ years, then “strict keto forever” probably isn’t the best strategy for you.

This is why we want rules we can follow, that help us reach our goals, that we can live with permanently.

Think of these rules like bumper lanes in bowling.

You can’t throw it in the gutter (0% compliance), but you have enough guardrails that allow you to still knock over the pins (weight loss).

THAT is the sweet spot.

What’s a “Good Enough” Diet? (Steve’s 80% Solution)

I’ve identified certain mental models and rules that help me make sense of my day without being overly neurotic, still have fun with friends, and ALSO allow me to reach my strength training and physique goals.

Here’s my personal “80% of the time, it works every time” strategy:

#1) Skip breakfast. I don’t eat breakfast. My first feed happens after my 11am workout. Yup, sometimes I’ll eat brunch on a weekend or have a bagel/donut, but that’s rare. I love Intermittent Fasting, it works for me, and I’ll probably do this for the rest of my life.

#2) Eat real food most of the time. I know what real food is. I try to only eat real food. If you hate veggies (as I used to), here’s how I learned to love them. Yup, I still eat rice and potatoes.

#3) Know my calories. I skip breakfast, and I eat the same lunch every day, and I know the basic quantities and calories of foods I normally eat. This means I generally know how many calories I’m eating every day with minimal effort. This is done more strictly if I am targeting certain goals.

Alternatively, we can learn portion sizes like we cover in our “Healthy Eating” guide.

#4) No unnecessary liquid calories. I drink black coffee, unsweet black tea, or water. No soda. No juice (which is pretty much sugar water). I do put whole milk in my powerbomb smoothies, which I drink specifically to help me overeat on training days to build muscle. I still drink whiskey (neat) or good beer when the occasion calls for it!

#5) Never eat two unhealthy meals in a row. If I eat an unhealthy lunch (pizza and wings and beer), I either make my dinner healthy or skip dinner entirely. If I ate an unhealthy dinner, my lunch the next day is going to be healthy. I know myself, and when it comes to momentum killing, 1 bad meal is a speed bump, 2 is a brick wall.

Before I help you come up with your own rules, I want to address the elephant in the room.

Okay, now that I’ve addressed him, let’s talk about vegetarians and vegans!

Will Being a Vegetarian (Or Vegan) Help Me Lose Weight?

I actually considered including Vegetarian or Vegan mental models in the above sections, as I know we have plenty of plant-based folks in the Rebellion.

Here’s why I didn’t: neither option satisfies Rule #1 (“By following this strategy, you will most likely lose weight”). I’ll explain.

Yes, as a vegan or vegetarian, you can ask yourself: “Is this Vegan/Vegetarian? Yes or No” (Rule #2), which does make it a mental model in that respect.

However, in order for you to lose weight and be healthier on either mental model, you need to be very aware of the foods you’re eating and how many calories they have—which introduces more complexity.

Pizza, fettuccine alfredo, bowls of sugary cereal, grilled cheese sandwiches, and calorie-bomb burritos can be vegetarian.[7]

Donuts, pasta, and bread can be vegan.

Plant-based? Technically, yes. Healthy? Ehhhh.

Just like you can do Paleo or Keto incorrectly, you absolutely can be an unhealthy vegetarian or an unhealthy vegan. The same is true of going gluten-free.

Long story short: if you are thinking of going vegetarian or vegan for whatever reason (nutritional, moral, religion, this new person you’re dating is vegetarian, etc.), go for it!

It might work for you! It might not.

It might help you lose weight! It might not.

It all depends on what foods you are eating in addition to being vegan or vegetarian.

So, if going plant-based ALSO helps you educate yourself on what you’re putting in your body, if it helps you make better food decisions, and changes your relationship with food for the long term, and gets you the health/physique results you’re after, great!

KEEP DOING IT!

Just don’t fool yourself into blindly believing what you’re doing is healthy just because you cut out meat without actually analyzing what you’re replacing it with.

If you are vegan or vegetarian and planned on emailing me angry words for not including them as healthy options above, thus concludes my cover-my-ass explanation. We’re cool, right?

Also, yes. I have read the China Study. [8]

Lastly, if you are contemplating moving to a vegan or vegetarian diet, make sure you check out our massive guide “How to Eat a Plant-Based Diet: A Scientific Look at Going Vegan Safely” for tips and tricks to make it work.

How to Pick the Diet That’s Right For You (next steps)

Those are the rules I’ve picked above that fit MY reality. I adjust based on my progress from month-to-month, whether or not I’m making progress in the gym (and in the mirror!).

Here’s how you can determine the best diet for you: Throw the concept of the “perfect diet” out the window and staple this to your forehead: “The perfect diet is the diet I can actually stick with.”

Actually, don’t staple that to your forehead. It’ll be backwards when you look in the mirror and that will defeat the purpose.

Instead, do this – Be a badass scientist:

#1 – Do some research, juuuuust enough to get started[9], and pick the diet or the rules you want to start with. Pick the rules that you can live with. Then, start. Now.

Here are some sample yes/no rules to get you started outside of the mental model diets. Note the difference in challenge/healthiness – pick the ones at YOUR level:

I can’t drink more than 5 sodas per week (instead of my normal 10). It’s up to me when I drink them.

I don’t eat fast food Monday through Friday.

I eat a vegetable with every lunch and dinner.

Once per week I’ll do a 24-hour fast.

I don’t drink alcohol on Sunday afternoon through Friday afternoon. Other than that, all bets are off.

#2 – Track your adherence to the diet or rules. It can be very simple (“Yes I was compliant today”/“No I wasn’t”). A spreadsheet, a calendar where you write X’s on the days where you were compliant, an app, a friend you check in with, etc. Your rules can be “Only drink 5 sodas this week,” “eat two vegetables per day,” or “eat under X amount of carbs.” Pick rules that line up with your life.

#3 – Track your progress, assess your strategy. Compare photos, measurements, and/or lifts in the gym at the end of the month. Are you better off than you were 30 days ago? Do you feel like you can stick with the rules for another few months? Were you able to stick to the plan more than 80-90% of the time?

#4) Stay the course, or course-correct:

Compliant with your rules and you lost weight? Great! Do it again for another month.

Couldn’t stick with your rules? Great! Adjust your rules to be less rigid so you’re more likely to stick with them.

Stuck with your rules but didn’t lose any weight? Great! You identified that your rules weren’t aligned with your goals. Adjust them.

#5) Repeat! Forgive yourself if you don’t succeed (each month is a new experiment). Even “failure” gives you information on what diets DON’T work for your situation.

You will need to follow these 5 steps every month for the rest of your life, so better get used it.

That’s what we call “life.”

Because life IS change and chaos.

Success comes from learning to navigate through the muck!

Your body will change in the coming years, and so will your rules. You might get pregnant or go through menopause. You might get an injury or change jobs or discover a food allergy. You might have kids or move cross country or go on vacation.

Each month, do a quick evaluation of where you are. Decide if you need to stay the course or make adjustments.

Do this consistently, and you’ll eventually arrive at the perfect diet FOR YOU. You are a unique snowflake in an environment and situation that is unique to you.

So again, I do not follow a paleo lifestyle. I don’t even recommend Paleo as the option that’s best for everybody.

What I recommend is treating life like an experiment, and using the resources and community here at Nerd Fitness to identify the rules and strategy that works for YOUR reality.

The Mental Models of Paleo, Keto, Slow Carb, Intermittent Fasting, Vegan, Vegetarian, or other eating models may be able to help you get started, and MIGHT even get you results!

But it’s gotta fit your life and ultimately be sustainable to have any real chance at long-term success.

So I recommend that YOU take control over finding the perfect diet for YOU.

Pick a mental model and incorporate it into your life. Lean on your friends or this community for support. Learn from people who have succeeded in the way you want to succeed. Track your compliance and progress. AND KEEP EVOLVING.

This is why I started Nerd Fitness: to help people cut through the crap and start to make progress that can stick even as the rest of their life goes through change.

If you’re somebody who is super overwhelmed or has struggled with yo-yo dieting for years, you’re not alone! This stuff is tough, and finding a way to navigate a constantly changing, chaotic life while following brutally strict rules ain’t easy.

This is why we created three different paths forward. The next step so you determine the “right diet for me.”

Pick the option that best aligns with your goals:

#1) Our 1-on-1 Online Coaching program: a coaching program for busy people to help them make better food choices, stay accountable, and get healthier, permanently.

You can schedule a free call with our team so we can get to know you and see if our coaching program is right for you. Just click on the image below for more details:

Our coaching program changes lives. Learn more here!

#2) Nerd Fitness Prime – This is our private online community that’s helped 50,000 people get results permanently.

There’s a 10-level nutrition system, boss battles, 20+ workouts, livestream workouts, and private communities to support you on your journey.

Join NF Prime! At home workout and livestream classes

#3) Join The Rebellion! We have a free email newsletter that we send out twice per week, full of tips and tricks to help you get healthy, get strong, and have fun doing so.

I’ll also send you tons of free guides that you can use to start leveling up your life too:

Download our free weight loss guide

THE NERD FITNESS DIET: 10 Levels to Change Your Life

Follow our 10-level nutrition system at your own pace

What you need to know about weight loss and healthy eating

3 Simple rules we follow every day to stay on target

NOW IT’S YOUR TURN!

I want to hear from you with regards to these Mental Models and how they fit into your life:

What are your questions that I didn’t address above? I’ll do my best to respond to all comments!

Which Mental Model Diet worked for you?

Which one didn’t?

Let me know in the comments below!

-Steve

PS:Make sure you check out the rest of our Sustainable Weight Loss Content:

The 5 Rules of Weight Loss

Why Can’t I Lose Weight?

Can you Lose Weight and Build Muscle at the Same Time.

How to Start Eating Healthy (Without Giving up the Food You Love)

PPS: Please don’t do the Twinkie Diet.

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Gif source: Spock, Cookie Monster, New Girl, Yes or No, Ready Cat, Stan Marsh, American Dad, Gollum, Daisy.

Photo source: clement127: Mr Banana, JonathanCohen: weightless, Reiterlied: The New Yoda, Rafael Peñaloza: Undecided, stavos: Fish soup, regolare: point brick, Jose Antonio Hidalgo Jimenez Killer Peppers….STAR WARS., clement127 In the lab

Footnotes ( returns to text)

here’s study 1 and study 2, and study 3

hat tip to Physiqonomics who shared this video at some point in the past on his blog, which I really enjoy reading!

Actually, please don’t get mad at science.

Here’s one such list where Paleo comes in 33rd and Keto 39th out of 40 diets

Twinkie Diet – 27 lbs lost

Hell, I know a vegetarian that doesn’t eat any vegetables!

Here’s why I don’t believe the data in the China Study holds up to scrutiny.

We don’t want you becoming an underpants gnome

What’s the Best Diet to Lose Weight? (Which Diet is Right for Me?) published first on https://dietariouspage.tumblr.com/