#the previous chapter was posted in june so i just managed to make it before a year had passed

[mychoombatheroomba]

Letters From Home

Between the Bones (Leon x GN! Reader) - Chapter 40

The Major makes good on his promise.

(Cross-posted from Ao3)

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (Coming Soon!)

Chapter Index

Boots against the dirt, heavy breathing, the chirping of crickets in concert with a distant buzzing . . . Leon and Krauser circled each other to a symphony that night. The cicadas were a few days early, by Leon’s understanding. They didn’t usually come out until June, if even then. They hadn’t wanted to wait for summer-proper, he supposed, so now that pulsing buzz of the insects rang in the air around them. Singing to greet the new world, earlier than expected. Leon could sympathize, but there would be no songs when he and the rest were forced into their own new world. So, as the cicada-song went on, he put the sound off to the side. Neither he nor Krauser were bothered by it; they were too busy looking for opportunity in each other. 

A moment to strike. 

Ice met sky as they locked eyes, both of their guards down. Waiting. Anticipating. 

“Don’t have all night, pretty boy.” The sounds of the insects weren't nearly as grating as Krauser’s insults. Two weeks of them, and Leon still found that the words got under his skin. Especially when the Major turned those barbed words towards you, or what Leon felt for you; what Krauser knew the two of you shared. “Know you’re used to sparring as foreplay, but-”

With that taunt, Leon’s patience wore out, and he swung his knife - held reversed in his left hand - towards Krauser’s face. He knew not to hold back when fighting the Major, and with his right hand freshly stitched, he didn’t want to risk undoing your work.

Or maybe he should, so he’d have an excuse to visit you alone again- 

Keep your head in the game. 

He reminded himself of that as Krauser leaned back to avoid the strike. A muscled arm came up, aiming an angled stab down at Leon’s now-vulnerable shoulder, and-

Fuck!

Leon blocked the attack narrowly, his arm shaking with the force of the Major’s blow as palm met wrist. The exchange that followed was just as break-neck as Leon had come to expect from the Major, and for all the shallow cuts and near-misses that Leon managed to earn, it didn’t matter when Krauser managed to kick the knife from the younger man’s hand.

“Looking to get your ass kicked one last time before the holiday?” the Major growled with an almost feral smile.

Leon knew that “holiday” was the right word, but still, Memorial Day had never felt like a holiday to him. A day dedicated to remembering the fallen didn’t seem like a holiday. Least of all now that he was faced with being one of those names remembered in future years. 

If anyone knew to mourn his death at all- 

Head in the game.

Krauser’s continuation of his insult made that easier to remember. “Do you just like getting the shit kicked out of you? That what made you like your Sergeant so much?”

“Guess not.” Leon said through clenched teeth, backing away as Krauser went after him again. “Cause I sure as hell don’t like you.” At least not right now.

“Oh, so the rookie has a little bite after all.” Krauser punctuated the statement with a slash to Leon’s face - one that he felt graze his nose as he barely backed away in time. It staggered him just enough that the kick that followed landed in full force. It hit Leon square in the chest, and he wondered briefly if he’d join you with broken ribs as he was sent crashing backwards. 

Another time he’d been sent to the ground, another time he had to get up. He did it fast enough to block the Major’s incoming blows, stopping himself from having what would have been a belly full of steel. Krauser’s free hand went for a punch that Leon blocked, and again he realized he was fucked because it was his strength versus Krauser’s. He strained with all his might as those pale blue eyes bored into his own. 

He felt Krauser’s unarmed hand slip free from his grasp. A callused palm against his face, trying to force his head to the side. Leon didn’t think. All he could think to do was lean his head back and around, his lips parting as his teeth bared in a snarl . . . 

And then he sunk those teeth into Krauser’s hand. 

It was the first time Leon had heard anything akin to a yelp from the Major - likely more from surprise than actual pain. If he - Leon - were a bioweapon, a zombie, then Krauser would have already lost. One bite would have been all it took. As it was, Leon grunted as the Major drove his knee into Leon’s gut, and he felt like he might be sick. Still, months of training, months of you doing the same brutal art with him, kept him up, even as his teeth came free of Krauser’s hand. 

He didn’t taste blood, but Leon grinned like he had. Krauser was good at turning attacks back on his opponents. Leon could at least do that with the Major’s words. “More than a little bite,” he said, breathing hard. 

And the taller man, after a moment of examining his hand, looked up at Leon with eyes that burned a hot-fire blue. 

And then the Major laughed. 

“Fighting dirty, rookie?” he smirked. “Good. Maybe you did pick something up from the Sergeant after all,” the older man mused, and Leon could hear something held back in his voice. What it was, he couldn’t say. 

“I picked up a lot of things,” Leon insisted, because it was true. Krauser had given him the skills, but you had honed them. 

“Like how to fake an injury to have an excuse to go to the med bay?” 

The accusation made Leon’s brow furrow. “Not all that fake. You want an up-close look at the stitches?” He asked Krauser, and the Major just scoffed, lowering his knife, signaling a definitive break in the sparring. 

“Heard your Sergeant already got one.”

Your Sergeant again, spoken with so much disdain. It made Leon’s frustrations strain against the cage he’d herded them into. His response was strained in turn. “That’s what happens when you stitch up a wound, yeah.”

“I warned you two-”

“Look,” Leon hissed, thoroughly done with this game. “If you’re gonna report it, report it. Stop dangling it over my head. I’m tired of it-” 

“Keep your fucking voice down.” Krauser’s words were spoken through bared teeth, and Leon felt his body tense as the Major stepped into his space. “You feel like testing me, rookie?” Krauser was bigger than him, even after the months of training had broadened Leon’s chest and shoulders. All of that, and still Leon would never be as tall as Krauser, and likely never as powerful, but it didn’t matter, at that moment. No matter how intimidating the Major wanted to be, he would never be the worst thing that Leon had been faced with. So, the younger man stood his ground. 

“I do,” he nodded, staring the Major down, feeling like he was David looking up at Goliath as he spoke a hard truth. “If you were gonna report us, you’d have done it already.” 

He knew it was a dumbass thing to do, speaking like that to a superior officer - let alone Krauser of all people. Still, Leon couldn’t find the reasonable fear in him to stop the words, because for all that Krauser had done that Leon hated, he’d shown time and time again that he cared. And so, even as Krauser’s nostrils flared in rage and his eyes sharpened, Leon felt sure of his words. 

He may have lost most fights against the Major, but as he watched Krauser clench his jaw, Leon knew that he’d won this one. 

“I won’t need to report it,” the Major snarled, “if you two keep going like this.” 

It wasn’t the best counterattack Krauser had ever used, and they both knew it. “Why don’t you let us worry about that?” 

Krauser frowned, blue eyes narrowing once more. He looked like he wanted to say something more, something that was eating at him. Whatever it was, Leon watched him lock away the conflict behind his eyes instead of unleashing those thoughts. “Doesn’t fuckin’ matter what I say, does it?” he asked, like he was realizing that it was a losing game for the first time. 

It may have been the first time Leon ever saw the Major accept a defeat. 

“No,” Leon shook his head, “it doesn’t.” 

Something flickered across Krauser’s face - a twitch of muscles that Leon doubted was under the Major’s control. He pursed his lips together and nodded once, looking off into the night towards where the cicadas were singing. It was many long moments before he spoke again, and when he did, Leon found that the Major had one last surprise in store for him, spoken in a low voice so only Leon could hear. “Then if you two have to keep being dumbasses and seeing each other, make sure you do it tomorrow. You’ve got people to remember and you’re both unbearable when you’re miserable alone.” 

Leon’s lips hung open, parted by surprise. He hadn’t been prepared for that one-eighty. Hell, he’d expected Krauser to knock him to the ground and scream in his face, not roll over and all but tell him to spend time with you. 

“I-”

“Guard up.” Krauser gave the order, letting Leon know the conversation was over with a swing at his head. One that might have knocked it clean off of Leon’s shoulders, if he hadn’t ducked in time. 

Whatever was going through the Major’s head, it made him sloppy. Even if he was armed and Leon’s knife still lay in the dirt a few feet away, Krauser was unbalanced. His attacks weren’t as precise as they once were, his reactions just a touch too slow. He was distracted. Enough so that this time, as Leon braced Krauser’s arm against his shoulder, as he turned and leveraged, the Major was pulled clean off his feet, in a move that you had performed on Leon a dozen times. One that left the young recruit in shock as Krauser’s back hit the dust. 

Disbelief wasn’t enough for Leon to hesitate, though, and he wrenched Krauser’s knife free of his hand, stabbing it downwards . . . 

And Leon’s eyes went wide when the blunted tip met Krauser’s chest. 

The two men stared at each other, like neither was quite sure how it had happened. Krauser recovered first, though, looking up at Leon with a creased brow. “Heart’s on the other side, rookie,” he pointed out, reaching up to guide Leon’s hand and the blade both where it belonged. “Remember that.” 

“Yes, sir.” Leon nodded as Krauser released his hand, feeling his nerves refusing to calm. The sounds of people approaching did nothing to help that as Leon offered a hand to Krauser, only to have it brushed aside. 

The Major’s mood only soured further when he and Leon looked up to find a pair of suit-bedecked CIA agents making their way towards them. 

“Son of a bitch,” Krauser muttered beneath his breath, and if Reed or Hellman overheard it, they didn’t show it. 

“Sorry to interrupt, Major,” Hellman said. “We were looking for Mr. Kennedy.” 

Leon stilled, the high of his victory plummeting because why would they be looking for me? 

“And it can’t wait?” Krauser grumbled, pushing himself to his full height so he could tower over the agents properly. 

Reed answered with that same monotonous voice as ever. “We’ll be brief.” Leon’s worry only grew . . . until Reed reached a hand forward - one holding . . . 

Oh my god . . .

The envelopes were opened, all of them, and Leon could see folded paper inside. Colorful ink. Handwriting that bordered on messy. 

And just like that, his heart was in his throat, choking him. 

“We already informed the other recruits,” Hellman went on, as Krauser eyed the two of them, like this was the first he was hearing of this as well, “but you will be allowed to receive and send letters from friends and family, as the Major requested. Any incoming letters or packages will be searched by Reed and myself, and any outgoing replies will need to be proof-read and approved by us as well.” 

Leon barely heard the words as he reached out, taking the letters from Reed, holding them like he wasn’t sure they were real. 

“Is all of that understood?” 

Leon just nodded dumbly, looking down at the envelopes now in his hand. “Yes,” he agreed without really thinking, because how could he think of anything other than the words staring up at him?

To: Leon

From: Sherry

He didn’t even really hear what the two agents said as they departed, because his heart was hammering so hard in his ears, just as when Hellman had presented one of the letters to him in that interrogation weeks prior. Only now, there was no rage. No fury. Whatever Leon felt now, it was too much. Too much because, after his “recruitment”, he’d never thought to see or hear from Sherry Birkin ever again. 

She was alright.

He hoped that she was alright. 

The answer to that hope lay in his hands, now, written across at least a dozen letters. 

A dozen. 

And he hadn’t known, hadn’t written back to her. Had she thought he was ignoring her? Fewer now, Hellman had said something like that. Fewer letters because why write them if there was no response? The guilt for something else that wasn’t his fault started to worm its way through him, and he had to rip his gaze away from the envelopes.

He found a pair of razor blue eyes fixed on him instead. Krauser’s gaze, for once, held no accusations. None that could compare to what the letters in his hands held. 

The Major studied Leon’s face - an expression that Leon knew must have been a mess of emotion. Emotion brought on because, once more, the Major had kept his promise. “You . . .”

“Told you I would, didn’t I?” Krauser scoffed, and Leon felt guilty for doubting him again. 

“Thank you.” The words didn’t do Leon’s gratitude justice, for this and so much else. Still, he had to go. Had to read through the words that had been withheld from him for so long before lights-out. 

Krauser seemed to know it too. With an exhale, the older man cocked his head to the side. “Go on, rookie. You’re dismissed.” 

Leon didn’t need to be told twice. 

⧫⧫⧫

Hi Leon!

The first few letters all started off like that. Leon read them under the yellow glow of a streetlight, shuffling through the letters one by one. Reading and rereading, feeling like a hand was snaking its way around his heart and squeezing. 

I hope you’re doing okay! They won’t tell me where you are. And I’m not supposed to say where I am, either. They say it’s for my own protection, but they said I could write to you! They even said they’d get me some of those movies we were going to watch! I know you wanted to watch Star Wars together, so I’ll wait to get to that one until you can come visit! 

Leon smiled at that - the kind of joy that made his bottom lip quiver because it was beset with something else. A deeper emotion that stopped real happiness from taking root. 

I’m feeling a lot better, another letter said. Are you? I forgot to ask last time, are you still hurt? I hope you’re feeling better.

Another stab of pain went through his heart, but at least he knew she was okay. As okay as she could be, at least. He took every bit of information that he could from the letters, flipping through them desperately, trying to put together a full picture of the child he’d given up everything for. 

I started reading this book I think you’d like-

Another letter.

I miss going to school, but they said it’s safer if I stay where I am-

And another.

I still get bad dreams sometimes. Do you? 

Another.

I miss having you around.

Another.

Are you okay? I haven’t gotten any letters-

They got shorter and shorter, until at last Leon reached the final one in the pile and his vision blurred. 

Hi Leon.

I hope you get this. I hope you can reply. Are you O.K.? Just a yes or no would be good, if you want to tell me. If you can. 

I hope you’re O.K.

Please write me back if you can. 

There were no more after that. None of the letters were dated, leaving Leon to guess how long it had been between that last letter and now. Weeks? Months? He didn’t know. Did Sherry think he was hurt? Or dead? Or did she just think that he was ignoring her? His mind was cruel to him, imagining the betrayal each unanswered letter must have started to feel like. To have Leon there, taking care of Sherry for those few months after Raccoon City, with him sharing silly jokes with her, trying (and mostly failing) to make them both dinner that wasn’t ramen, picking movies to watch or games to play . . . 

And then to have him say a rushed goodbye and not answer her letters . . .

He hadn’t realized he’d been shaking. Didn’t know that his breathing had been so heavy until that moment. 

He hadn’t even really realized he’d been crying until he looked down and saw some of the ink smudged on that last letter. Desperately, he dabbed at the paper with his shirt, trying to save the words. He hadn’t been able to save much of anything, though, had he? Not the people of Raccoon City, not the officers he was supposed to work with, not Ada . . . he couldn’t even save you from the pain you’d suffered on his behalf. Sherry was the one exception. The one thing he’d almost gotten right.

So he clung to the letters and, for the first time in months, alone in the lamplight, Leon let tears fall freely for all that had been taken from him. From Sherry. From you. From everyone that had been dragged into this mess. He allowed himself that, just as he’d allowed himself to fall for you because he needed it. He lamented in a way that he hadn’t been able to in so long, and he cried for what could have been. 

There were still a few hours before Memorial Day, but he supposed it wouldn’t matter if he mourned a little early. The cicadas had started their song before it was time, after all. He’d let himself do the same. 

⧫⧫⧫

The intention had been to study with you. That was what you and the others had agreed on. The meetup had been your idea - Leon was pretty sure you’d asked to do it as a group on everyone’s day off to keep your mind from the holiday and what it represented. To stave off the ghosts. It made him feel more than a little guilty when neither he nor anyone else was in a mood to focus on lock-picking or key phrases in different languages. Not when they all had letters from their loved ones, begging to be answered. 

You’d understood, but Leon hadn’t missed the emptiness in your eyes when you’d insisted that they all take the time to write letters home instead of study. 

“We can all write them together,” Williams offered, smiling. “It’ll be cute ‘n shit.” 

Your smile in response was forced, and Leon felt his heart sink somehow deeper into his chest at the expression. “You all go on ahead,” you said. “I’ll keep myself busy.” 

“You didn’t-” Alenko stopped himself, but Leon imagined he knew what the full sentence would have been. You didn’t get any letters. The soldier’s normally easygoing expression shifted to one of horror at his misstep, and then sympathy in the blink of an eye. “I’m sorry, I-” 

“It’s fine,” you reassured him. Even Leon almost believed you - it must have been a lie you had practice with. You’d never spoken of your family, or your life outside of the military. Leon wondered if there was anything left to speak of - if it would be another story about you with blanks to fill in. Whatever the case, you offered a reassuring look to Alenko and everyone else. “Write home. They’ll want to know you’re all doing okay.” 

It had been a while since you’d given the squad an order, but it was one they all followed. Still, Leon wasn’t about to disobey the other order that Krauser had given the night before and leave you alone. Not when he saw you fiddling with your dog tags already. 

Luckily, Leon wasn’t alone in his concern. That became abundantly clear when, of all people, Valeria pulled him aside. “Give me an hour or so,” she said, “and then go to the med bay. You’ve got a Sergeant to cheer up.” 

His eyes must have betrayed some confusion, because Valeria went on with more of that unnerving sincerity. Unnerving because, up until recently, Leon had never thought to hear it from her. 

“Look,” she began, her dark eyes shifting away from Leon’s as she gathered her thoughts. “I fucked up. I got you both into shit, and I wanna make it right. So I’m gonna help you two freaks out, okay?”

Leon’s lips parted, and he found himself stunned. Still, when the surprise wore off, it left behind only hope. “How are you even gonna pull this off?”

Valeria’s demeanor shifted, because now she had something to poke holes in. “Those CIA bitches want to proofread all our letters? Well, Dina and I got a lot of family to write home to. We can keep them busy for the rest of the day, if we happen to have to rewrite shit because it spilled too much info.” Leon was so caught up in the logistics of the plan Valeria came up with, he almost missed the name she slipped in - one he nearly didn’t recognize, because he never really heard Williams’ first name aloud. 

“Dina, huh?” he couldn’t help but ask, giving Valeria a smile. 

She only realized her slip up in the glint of his teasing look and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, blanquito. Trying to do you a solid, here-”

“And I appreciate it,” Leon insisted, his eyes finding hers, so she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt. “I really do, Valeria. Seriously.” 

The short woman scrunched up her nose as she made a face, looking away again. “Yeah, well,” she shrugged, like the whole act of doing something nice made her uncomfortable. “You can return the favor someday.” 

And for his friends? Leon had every intention of doing just that. 

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter (Coming Soon!)

Chapter Index

#leon kennedy x reader #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy #resident evil x reader #resident evil 2 #resident evil 4 #resident evil #between the bones #gender neutral reader #leon kennedy x you #no y/n #jack krauser #sherry birkin

[canirove]

Broken Hearts Football Club | Chapter 7

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"That was…" Ben whispered against June's lips, both of them trying to catch their breaths.

"A mistake."

"A big mistake, yes. We shouldn't do it again."

"We shouldn't, no" she said. "Imagine that someone sees us and tells the press."

"June Maxwell fell for Ben Chilwell's charm, they’ll write" he smiled.

"Charm? What charm?"

"The one that makes you keep your body this close to mine, your eyes fixed on me, your lips asking for more."

"You have me pinned against a wall, Chilwell. I can't do anything or go anywhere."

"You can, Maxwell. You just don't want to."

"Shut up."

"Make me" he smirked.

"You asked for it" June said before kissing him again, Ben pushing her against the wall once again, the little space that had been between them gone. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"There you are! I was starting to worry and… June, are you ok?"

"I am, yeah. Why?"

"You look… flushed" Leah said. "What happened in the bathroom?"

"Nothing" she shrugged.

"And why don't I believe you?"

"I don't know."

"June? Leah? No way!" someone said behind them.

"Mason?" both of them said as they turned around.

"I can't believe you girls are here! Earlier when I saw the photo you posted on Instagram I told Chilly that we may cross paths, and look" he chuckled.

"Chilly is here?" Leah asked.

"Yeah, somewhere. He went to the bathroom and I haven't been able to find him yet."

"The bathroom, uh?" Leah said, looking at June.

"We were joking about finding our New Year's kiss, so maybe he did."

"Maybe he did" Leah repeated, still looking at her friend.

"What about you, girls? Are you looking for a New Year's kiss?" Mason asked, his eyes fixed on June. 

"I don't believe in those things. You?"

"Me neither" June said, feeling her cheeks burn. Leah knew. She definitely knew about what had happened in the bathroom. She knew her too well.

"What a shame…" Mason sighed. "Oh, Chilly, here!" he called.

"Fuck" June said under her breath. 

"Where were you, man?"

"The queue for the bathroom was too… long" Ben said when he realized who Mason was with. Fuck.

"Hello, Chilwell" Leah smiled. "Happy New Year."

"Happy New Year, Williamson. Maxwell."

"Hi" she muttered, her eyes fixed on her hands.

"Since we have found each other, why don't we have a drink the four of us together?" Mason asked.

"I think I'm going home" June said.

"What? Why?"

"I have a game in two days, I need to rest."

"As if resting would make you play better" Ben chuckled.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Going to bed early won't improve your performance, Maxwell."

"Well, unlike others, I still am playing."

"June…" Leah warned her.

"What? He is allowed to insult me and bully me but I can't do the same to him?"

"I don't bully you. I just…"

"Don't you dare saying that you are just stating facts!" she replied, raising her voice.

"If I wasn't right it wouldn't bother you so much" Ben shrugged.

"Fuck you, Chilwell!" she said, pushing him and walking away.

"Yes, run away like the coward that you are!"

"I'm not a coward!"

"Sure" Ben laughed.

"I am not" she said, walking back and punching him in the face.

"June!" Leah said, grabbing her friend and pulling her away from him.

"Are you ok, bro?" Mason asked Ben.

"I'm fine" he replied, touching his lip. He was bleeding.

"I think it's time we leave" Leah said.

"Yes, take her back to her cage. But make sure you close it properly, she bites" Ben smirked. Though maybe he shouldn't have done it, it hurt as hell.

"I'm gonna bite your head off, that's what I'm going to do, you moron!" June yelled, ready to hit him again. 

"Ok, that's enough" Leah said, struggling to stop her. 

"Happy New Year, Maxwell" Ben laughed as he watched them walk away.

"Happy… fuck you!" June yelled again, Leah barely managing to drag her to the exit.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Let go of me, Leah. Let go!" June said once they were outside.

"Do you promise me you won't go back inside and do something stupid? Again?"

"I promise. Now let me go."

"Ok, fine" she replied. "What the fuck was that?"

"What was what?" June said.

"All that with Chilwell."

"Don't say that name ever again."

"June, you punched him."

"I did. And I should have done it earlier, to be honest. It felt so good…" Though her hand was starting to hurt.

"How did that happen? How did you go from making out to arguing like that?"

"We didn't make out" she snorted.

"June…"

"We didn't. I would never make out with Ben Chilwell. Never, Leah. Did you hear me? Never."

"Ok, fine. I imagined it all."

"Yes, you did. Can we now please go home? My shoes are killing me."

"Yes, we can" Leah sighed. “But we have an unfinished conversation.”

#ben chilwell #ben chilwell fanfic #ben chilwell imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

[skarlette1]

Making It Tick: Vivacious Voice

I promised a bit of “behind the scenes” for Libido League #14: Vivacious Voice, so we’ll start out with non-spoiler bits for those who haven’t read it yet. I’ll clearly label where spoilers begin. If you wanna skip the “inside baseball” about my real-life writing process and just discuss fictional plot and character stuff, scroll right on down to the “SPOILER” section.

To anyone expecting that the next novella-length Libido League e-book was going to feature Mnemonica and Lashlust, I say this: So was I! I have the rough draft of that novella done, but it is very, very rough. It needs a LOT of editing. It will get there, but it’s going to take some time. Hopefully, you’ll see it in the first half of 2024.

So, after I posted the penultimate chapter of Pearl Girls in mid-November, I looked at the calendar, the state of the Mnemonica/Lashlust novella, and realized that I wouldn’t be able to give it the editing it deserved before the end of the year. That meant that 2023 would be the first year I published NO new e-books! I didn’t want that to happen!

So, I got creative.

Ever since I published the first version of “Quid Pro Quo” here on the blog back in June, I’ve been wondering about the next meeting of Platinum Panther and Allie Kaza’am. I’d already written a little bit of Penelope tracking down her father’s car, to relax between larger projects. It was shaping up to be pretty hot. Maybe I could finish that before the end of the year?

However, when I offer an e-book for sale, I do my best to ensure it’s a complete story. Even when it says “#14” on the cover, I want a reader to be able to pick up just that e-book and understand the characters and situation well enough to enjoy the story. That meant that the new story couldn’t stand on its own, it needed both “Quid Pro Quo” and “Horny New Year” in the same e-book.

Easy-peasy, right? It’s just copy-and-paste, right?

Not quite! “Quid Pro Quo” featured Flechette and was kind of a sequel to her previous run-ins with Allie Kaza’am in “Ambushed” and “Prove Me Wrong.” So they needed to go in, as well. But those flash fictions were originally written in the 3rd person point-of-view. All my e-books are told from a 1st person POV. It’s kinda my style at this point. Rewriting them from 3rd to 1st person POV couldn’t take that long, could it?

It could! Particularly when I hadn’t finished writing the new “Vivacious Voice” story yet! Plus, rewriting Flechette’s chapters into 1st person revealed that there was a missing piece to her story, so I also had to write “Missing Time”! The whole time I was wondering if having two different 1st person POV narrators in the same novella would be too distracting for readers. What do you think? I’m considering using it again in future projects and would love some feedback.

I hope you’re beginning to see why I posted no new stories on the blog in December! But, I finished all that writing and formatting (plus three possible covers that you helped me choose the best of) and managed to hit “publish” before the end of the year! Yay!

But enough about me. Let’s chat about our girls, both good and bad.

SPOILERS BEGIN HERE

Flechette: Let’s start with the new girl on the block. Although she’s shown up in my flash fiction since the very early days, and the character’s “secret origin” is kinda the first story I ever posted to the EMCSA, she’s never featured in an e-book before. Part of that is that I’ve never been at a loss for characters, but part of that is that I didn’t quite understand her well enough. I think I do now.

We all understand the trope Flechette is built off of, right? Every A-list superhero team needs to have an archer, right? Even though it’s patently absurd that when you’re facing opposition that can crush tanks like candy wrappers and shrug off grenades, the person you most want on your team is armed only with a bow-and-arrow, right?

Right!

So just building out from the stereotype, we know that Flechette needs to be both stunningly talented and tirelessly dedicated. With no superpowers, how else is she going to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Doctor Q and Captain Alpha? It takes a special kind of crazy to do what she does. The messed up lives of Clint Barton, Oliver Queen, Kate Bishop, and Roy Harper can attest to that.

Rewriting her previous flashes from Flechette’s POV, I really found her no-nonsense dedication to the job coming to the forefront. The bit that really unlocked her character for me is when Platinum Panther is telling Flechette why she’s the most qualified for this mission and Flechette just cuts her off her flattery by acknowledging that she’s the least dangerous person on the team if she succumbs to Allie Kaza’am’s voice and then compliments her on the strategy. She’s got no ego to bruise here. Flechette is driven to be her best self every day, but doesn’t need to be better than anyone else to do it. She just needs to be better than she was yesterday. That’s the thing that drives her to put in all the hours at the gym and on the archery range (and never skip leg day).

It’s also the thing that makes her frustrating to Allie Kaza’am. With no secret shame to toy with, and no repressed joy to tease, Flechette doesn’t offer Allie anything to play with. That’s why she ends up tiring of Flechette rather quickly, tricking her into straightforward “deals” to do Allie’s bidding, and eventually underestimating her. “Driven and dedicated” might not get Flechette laid very often, but it comes in handy when capturing supervillains!

Allie Kaza’am: Speaking of supervillains, Allie drives this whole story like a stolen car. We already discussed the original influences of her character back in a previous “Making It Tick.” Let’s talk about what’s driving her in this story.

After the events of “Daring Truth”, where she humiliated the leader of the most powerful team of superheroes, the smart thing to do would have been to get as far from Skarlette City as possible! Instead, she worms her way into a high-class New Year’s Eve party just so she can manipulate Platinum Panther’s boss into revealing how to get in touch with the armored heroine. Does she stop when she uncovers Panther’s secret identity, knowing that will make her a number-one priority for the League to capture? No! Even when Flechette gets the drop on her, she keeps going, looking for a way inside Libido League Tower so she can meet Penelope in her own “home turf”. Playing the “get captured on purpose” card scores her everything she could want: an A-list superheroine (with a billionaire’s bank account) kneeling, meek and submissive before her. She could have had her fun, made off with a lifetime score, and vanished into the wind. Instead, she steals a prize possession that Penelope won’t be able to let go. Why does she do all this?

It’s simple: Allie Kaza’am wants to be hunted.

It makes her feel desirable to know that Platinum Panther is searching for her. To know that Penelope’s brilliant brain is obsessed with her, and is daydreaming about becoming Lily for her. Allie can’t be content with winning because her real game is getting Penelope to wrap her whole life around Allie.

Why does she care about that?

A big part of it is simply how audacious all this is. Allie gets a huge thrill from the risk itself. The more dangerous something is, the more exciting.

But if that were the only thing, she’d get more out of outwitting Flechette. Flechette is one dangerous heroine to have on your tail and a one impressive victory when she sinks to her knees. But Allie finds Flechette boring. Once she finally turns Flechette’s resistance against itself in “Prove Me Wrong”, the best Allie can do is force the heroine to forget all about her!

Until there’s a way that Flechette can help Allie capture Panther. Because, in her own twisted way, Allie Kaza’am is smitten with Lily/Platinum Panther/Penelope Payes. She’s just as obsessed with Lily as she wants Lily to be obsessed with her. That’s why the thing that sticks in Allie’s craw about Lily is not that she’s constantly trying to capture Allie and bring her to justice. It’s that Penelope insists that she’s “100% straight” and the only reason she could possibly have so much sex with Allie is because of her voice powers.

It’s not enough to have Penelope obsessed with her, she wants Penelope to admit that she’s attracted to her.

When Allie’s tactic of “look how irresistible I am, even your hardass archer submits to me, so why can’t you?” backfires, that’s why Penelope’s outburst hurts her deeply. That’s why she finally loses her cool and launches into the rant that allows Flechette to break her conditioning.

Like so many supervillains, it’s the thing she wants most that proves her own undoing.

Platinum Panther: So what about our central heroine? Coming out of the events of Libido League #13: Panther’s Passion, Penelope is kinda reeling. She took a chance, trusted a “normal” guy (at least, not a superhero), and got betrayed. She’s ready to reject any chance at connecting with anyone new. She’s goes to a party out of a sense of obligation to an old friend, ready to reject anyone he introduces her to. Surprise: She’s met with someone from her “secret life” as a superheroine that completely takes her by surprise. Allie strips off Penelope’s defenses of wealth, status, and connections as easily as she stripped off Platinum Panther’s armor in Libido League #3: Daring Truth. Penelope is left exposed, open, and vulnerable in a setting she’s supposed to be powerful in. She’s tried to be clever and stubborn and outwit the villainess, but she gets outmanueverd and the most surprising thing of all happens:

Nothing terrible.

Allie does get away with Penelope’s secret identity, but she doesn’t hurt anybody. As a supervillain, she skates on the edge between being a threat that needs to be stopped and being a nuisance that can be tolerated. So Penelope can rationalize that she’s seeking her out “to bring her to justice” rather than “because she’s fun and sexy”.

Which, of course, leads to her getting outmaneuvered in “Quid Pro Quo” and the beginning of “Vivacious Voice”. Penelope is really getting sucked into the cat-and-mouse game with Allie (the mouse, of course, is Penelope/Lily). They could easily settle into a pattern of this: Penelope tries to capture Allie, Allie tricks her into becoming Lily, many orgasms are had, Allie slips away.

But Allie pushes Penelope too far, too fast. And Penelope very nearly goes for it. She gives into everything Allie asks of her until Flechette shows up. Looking every inch the upright superheroine that Penelope feels she’s supposed to be, all those voices that drive her come roaring back. While she’s furious at herself for submitting, she lashes out with all that rage directed at Allie. Which leaves her where she started: frustrated and alone.

Oh well, at least Penelope can console herself that her arch-nemesis Terence Tartarus is headed to prison. No way anything could possibly go wrong with that!

Sorry for the long blog post. I didn’t have time to write a short one.

I’m dying to know: What did you think of the e-book? (spoilers okay in the comments)

#skarletteone

[wallspikes]

Chapter 3

OK this ones a long chapter. almost 6k words. its to make up for the fact that I took over a year to post this sorry. i'm still trying to come up with a name for this! but i'm kicking around some ideas and I'm getting closer. anyway i don't think there's really any warnings for this chapter that arent like. hugely common in other borrower writings! tw bug death...?

LINKS TO PREVIOUS CHAPTERS

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

Sunday, June 7th

11:43 P.M.

For certain this time, Weld was clean out of food. 

The borrower lay stagnant in his nest, staring up at the dirt ceiling, watching the day pass as the sun crossed the sky, and the rays of light passed through the slats of his burrow’s hatch. He fidgeted with a piece of cloth he’d pulled from the pile he lay on, catching the corners of his nails on the loose threads he’d already managed to coax from the weave of the fabric. 

He was hungry. The day before, he’d misjudged how much food he had left — one or two of the blueberries had gone too soft, and the quarter portion of the grasshopper wasn’t even enough to ration out into two meals — and after the trip had gone… sour… he hadn’t gotten the opportunity to take a detour to the blueberry bush to get a bit extra, nor would he have trusted himself to climb the thing either way, not with the state he was in at the time. He’d gone home empty-handed, and now he lay here with an equally empty stomach. It rumbled, as if to remind him. Weld grimaced.

The fabric in his hands started to unravel, and he subconsciously brought the remains to his mouth to chew on its frayed edges. He hadn’t properly chewed on anything in a couple of days and his teeth had started to ache in its absence — plus, it helped keep his mind off of how empty his stomach was, and kept his teeth clean.

He didn’t want to leave the house, not after what happened, but he had no choice. It was either he toughened up and took the trip, or he’d starve in his burrow and let the bugs and mice pick at his remains with no means to fight them off — one outcome seemed marginally better than the other. So, he’d wait for the sun to set and the rumbling of the footsteps and bicycle tires on the slats of the boardwalk to begin to die down, and hope he wouldn’t have to suffer another visit from the giant stranger on a night trip. 

Weld shivered. He was always afraid of humans, or, a better assessment would be to say he was afraid of strangers, no matter their size. The fact that the human that had settled their weight over him, blocking out the evening sun, was big enough to pick him up and cradle him in their palm only added to his fear, leaving him petrified rather than in the state of awkward shyness he would tend to feel around the other borrowers he had met when he was a child. He was just more likely to meet a strange human than a strange borrower. 

It wasn’t humans that scared him — he’d lived among them for twenty-five years now, he had seen them laugh, love each other, cry on one another’s shoulders, as he had with his family — they were just people, plain and simple. People on a different scale living a different life that he’d never truly understand, and the same goes for him. What did scare him was the uncertainty of it all, the lack of knowledge or control — the idea that he, in the end, had no say in whatever they decided to do, human or borrower. 

He wasn’t afraid of the stories shared by borrowers for centuries, meant to humble and knock brave, young borrowers down a peg. His parents never really bought into those — though, they’d tell them from time to time — rather they’d bring their sons to watch arguments, and eventually fights, that the patrons of the mechanic’s shop would have with its employees. Watching two humans go toe-to-toe in real-time, or a frustrated mechanic fling furniture and tools around the garage in fits of rage were always more effective methods of intimidation — their terrific shows of strength always put Weld and his brother, Hal, on edge. But, on the other hand, he’d seen the same of borrowers. Not the strength, but the merciless fighting, or the obnoxious bouts of frustration, seemingly over nothing. In the end, who was he to judge a human if he knew nothing about them?

That wasn’t to say he wouldn’t mind if the human that had spotted him decided to come around for another trip. He’d mind that very much. One human always meant more humans, and he didn’t know if that was something he was going to be able to handle. Weld could run from one, hide himself away until it all blew over, but more than one would put his life on lockdown.

Chewing on his bedsheets wasn’t enough. The ache was still there, and his nerves only made it worse. Weld reached from his nest, plucking a flower stem from the bundle near his front hatch. He gnawed on its end, mouth flooding with the bitter taste of the water that leaked from the stem. His stomach rumbled again. He was getting impatient.

By the time he pulled himself from his thoughts, the bustling of humans finding their way home after an evening of friendly revelry quieted to the familiar drone of the night. Weld took pause, realizing the time, reddening a bit at how long he’d been entranced by his memories. Looking down at his hands, the flower stem had been rendered to a limp, mushy mess, covered in bite marks and shredded fiber, staining his palms a bright green. He grimaced and tossed the refuse at the foot of the ladder — he’d bring that out later.

The borrower stood, raising his hands above his head in a long, satisfying stretch, accompanied by a tired whine as he lowered himself back to his nest to wrap his feet and pull on his boots, slipping on his shirt in his typically clumsy manner — finally, poking his head from the neck of his shirt, he forced his hair to lay flat. He gave his gear a thorough once-over, making sure nothing was out of place, no ropes were frayed, canteens were full… he sighed. No food, and no hook. He’d forgotten about his hook. His grapple would have to do. Hopefully, he wouldn’t run into anything too big.

Swinging his backpack over his shoulders and shoving its latching button through the loose eye-hole of the worn leather strap, the sand-colored cloak was next to follow, draping over his shoulders and wavering with each slight movement of his body. The disguise had done him well for the past couple of years of his life — better to hide the stark-red cotton of his shirt — blending into the sand at a moment's notice if need be. Maybe it wouldn’t work quite well enough for the finely-tuned eye of a human, but maybe he would get lucky. He hadn’t exactly had the confidence in the garment enough to put it to the test.

Weld opened the hatch just enough to peek out and scan the area, then shoved his nose up into the little gap to smell out the area, too — nothing around but plants. A relief, but maybe a bit disappointing, he thought as he completed the climb up the rickety bamboo ladder, past the hatch of his burrow and onto the solid ground outside. No suspicious smells meant no special dinner, though he supposed that was a good thing — he was out a hook, after all.

Without big-game hunting gear, his first order of business would be to find an ant. Preferably, one of the big, black ones that measured up the size of his hand, though, the finger-sized red ones would do just fine. He could skewer it through the middle and suspend it on a thread as bait, hoping the rest of the hill would do as they always did and return to pick up their dead, falling victim to the borrower’s little trap he’d created a few human-feet from his doorstep — a deep pit, about his height, lined with discarded vinyl from the bottoms of surfboards and slickened with bicycle oil, a grass-woven net pinned over the top fitted with holes just wide enough for an ant to easily squeeze through on its way in, but struggle to find its bearing through on its way out. 

He was proud of his trap, and even prouder of how successful it tended to be. His catches would make for good soups, slowly boiled over a low flame with stalks and flowers of dandelion, or seared in his beer bottle cap pan until it sizzled with a dark char. Or, in a pinch, Weld wasn’t above sinking his teeth into the hard shell of an ant, chewing through the crunchy exterior to the sour, almost zesty taste of its innards — a flavor the borrower was rather fond of. 

He pushed through the heavy brambles of bamboo and weeds atop the dunes, skulking along the plants as he listened for any too-loud movement that never came. He’d hoped his trusty trap at the base of his residence and dune would have dinner secure within an hour or so — given the circumstances he even found a few ants, or even just one, chittering to themselves at this time of night. 

With no bait suspended from the line, the weaved trap was empty, just as he suspected. Weld sighed, but turned his head to his next destination. The boardwalk, another few paces away, was sure to hold something living beneath it. The borrower wasn’t picky. He’d eat whatever managed to stumble into his path, granted it wouldn’t kill him — there was no food that Weld couldn’t tolerate enough to starve.

He ran his hand along the salt-dried beams of the boardwalk, and stared past the wooden slats at the stars. He liked this time of night. Just late enough for most of the humans to have found their way home, and the air could stretch into the silence, as if to take a much-needed breather from the noise of the day. 

If he could stand here forever and not worry about the ever-growing ache that tugged at his stomach and grew in his teeth, Weld would commit himself to watching the stars and listening to the distant crash of waves against the shore, or learning to cook more than just his mother’s ant soup and bottlecap-charred bugs. 

But he couldn’t. His stomach grumbled again, and he was pulled from his thoughts by the buzzing of wings — short bursts of flight that disturbed the weeds and kicked up grains of sand. A beetle, Weld determined. One of the green-brown ones with the oil-slick patterning and the little pair of antennae that reached out above its eyes. 

He turned on a heel, planting his feet in the loose sand to find a firm footing as he listened for the next intermittent buzz of the beetle. As soon as it came, Weld sprung into a dash towards a patch of moving bramble where the beetle must’ve just landed, thankful he’d already taken off his boots and tied them to his backpack by their laces — he’d learned quickly enough that it was harder to run when his boots sunk into the sand. When he broke past the weeds, there was another flurry of movement from his dinner, the iridescent bug lifting its antenna from its lazy probing around in the sand to flick its head in his direction, and rev up its wings for another burst of flight.

Weld was on it before its transparent wings could flit from beneath its exoskeleton. He pressed closed its elytra, his hands on either side of its bucking body as it clacked its mandible at him, alarmed. He supplemented a hand with a foot against one of its flanks as he reached quickly for his grapple, and wrapped the hook and rope around its belly — past wriggling legs and sharp claws, restraining its wings tightly to its abdomen so all it could do was buzz. Weld bent the beetle’s neck, and with his two longest teeth, pried the exoskeleton from its head until its legs no longer kicked.

He smiled to himself as he held the beetle to his chest. It was fairly small, and couldn't have been larger than his own forearm, including his hand. He could make it last a few meals if he tried; he plucked its spindly legs from its body and wrapped it in a blade of nearby crabgrass before stuffing it into his backpack. 

The beetle would make an easy roast. He could cook it over an open flame and scoop its congealed flesh right from its exoskeleton, and hope he had some extra left over for later. The little bit of meat in its legs could boil down to a broth, given he could find some herbs to toss in with them. Weld’s stomach eagerly rumbled. He thought he remembered where some chickweed and wild onions grew. Weld pushed a little deeper into the weeds, his search for an ant forgotten in hopes of something better.

Footsteps fell a few paces down the boardwalk, each step deliberately slow, rolling from heel to toe as the perpetrator did their very best to be as quiet as possible, despite their size. Weld froze. He slowly pivoted his head in hopes to get a glance at whoever had just approached, but the sickly feeling in his stomach practically told him all he needed to know — they stood just inches away from where he’d first been discovered by the human, shining a light into the gully where he had lay vulnerable. For all the weeds in the way of his vision, Weld couldn’t say for sure who the human was — until a familiar voice called out. “Hello?”

Weld bolted, the dune grass in his path a dead giveaway of his location, but he didn’t care. It was already too late — there was a heavy thump into the sand behind him, and the creaking and cracking of weeds and branches snapping underfoot as the human followed hot on his heels. He felt his heart choke him as it leapt into his throat, the adrenaline coursing through his veins, the bile burning in his stomach. 

And then the dunes gave way to a wavering wall of green webbing and a bar of metal, all in one seemingly effortless motion.

Weld watched the netting fall around him, tangling up in the weeds and the dune grass in seconds — trapping him in the lush landscape with no way of exit. For a moment, he could feel his heart stop, as the aluminum handle dropped to the sand and two heavy footsteps landed just in front of him, two hands coming down quickly at their side. One was wrapped in bandages Weld realized as the human leaned on their forearms and stared down at the fruits of their capture with stars in their eyes.

Weld scrambled to find purchase beneath the rim of the net, digging at the sand to find it only forced his prison deeper into the ground. The human’s hands cleared a few of the weeds they had trapped alongside him, and curiously peered past the netting. The borrower didn’t hear the first few words that came out of the human’s mouth — rather, he didn’t process them. The buzzing of his ears seemed to drown out the frantic blabbering of the giant that loomed above him, their eyes making the skin on the back of his neck burn an itching heat. Weld backed away, gripping the metal rim as the human’s words slowly became apparent over his heaving breaths.

They’d straightened up by now, gesturing wildly in the flashlight’s glow, tugging at the bandages until they unraveled to reveal the swollen bite mark Weld had left on their hand from yesterday. “—kinda why I came out here,” Weld began to understand the human’s rambling, “Well… it wasn’t at first, but then the bump wasn’t gone in the— it doesn’t matter. You were cool, I wanted to know if I was insane, yada yada yada. That’s… uh… that was the main reason I wanted to come back out.”

Weld conspicuously tugged at the netting behind his back, rarely taking his eyes off of the wound. Looking at the tender, red skin of the human’s hand, Weld almost tasted the coppery blood on his tongue, and felt the warmth of their skin. The sensation made him gag.

“This bite isn’t gonna kill me, right?” The human suddenly questioned, panic in their voice, “‘Cause, it’s, like, not going away, man. And I don’t wanna have to go to the hospital and tell them that some little guy bit me. ‘Cause, that gets you in trouble, and it probably makes me look crazy…”

Weld realized, with some matter of satisfaction, that the events of the day before had been putting the human through their own bout of distress — though, he couldn’t help but wonder if he should’ve let up on his bite a bit earlier. He never thought it would cause that much of a reaction on a human, of all things.

“Are you sure you don’t have venom or anything?” they nervously itched at the spot, “Nothing that, uh, limits my life expectancy to forty-eight hours, or something?”

The borrower froze as the human went silent, waiting in earnest for an answer — one of the affirmative, that Weld was non-venomous, and the reaction they were having was completely harmless. But he couldn’t simply speak to clear the air about the bite — the borrower rules may not have been a proper part of his upbringing, but ‘no talking to humans’ meant no talking to humans, whether it was a borrower’s rule or his father’s rule.

He spared a glance down at the human’s hand, clasped in their other palm as they held it at their chest. He steadied his breath, which had turned into ragged panting throughout the conversation, and anxiously tangled his hand up in the net even further. To the human, he responded with a curt nod.

They paused. Sat back on their heels. Straightened their jaw and shifted their eyes. “Um…” they started, a slight quiver in their voice, “Is that a nod, like, ‘yes, I do have venom’? Or…?”

Weld quickly shook his head, lifting a corner of his lip while he did so to bear a set of sharp fangs, trying to communicate to the worried human that his teeth had no method of releasing venom as snakes did. Just pure, unadulterated bone. 

The human stared for a moment, then heaved forward with a heavy sigh, their body deflating until they rested on their forearms in the sand. “Thank god, dude,” they ran their fingers through their hair, “These bites were, like, super freaking me out.”

The borrower jumped to his feet, scrambling back to cradle himself in the netting — anything to get away from the human.

“Here, look, let me let you out,” the human perked up, propping the flashlight up against their backpack before slowly digging their hands beneath the metal rim, “I’m sorry about the net. I was, uh, debating bringing the thing last night, but then I worried I wouldn’t be able to talk to you… kinda harsh, though.”

Weld could feel the netting being lifted away, letting the relief of an exit wash over him — before he felt a sharp pull at his arm as the man’s former prison reached out of range. In all of his incessant worrying at the cords of the net, tugging at individual fibers in the meager hopes he could unravel them enough to tear a large enough hole to slip out through, Weld had found his arm twisted up in the human’s artificial webbing, like self-afflicted handcuffs. 

Strung up by his wrist, Weld couldn’t help the strangled yelp that escaped past his lips as his feet briefly left the ground. He reached for his grapple, hoping the little, sharpened hook would be enough to slash through the netting that kept him suspended — but the hurried movement only exacerbated the borrower’s struggle, the rope tightening until the skin around the area pinched white. 

“Ah!” the human exclaimed, gently lowering the net back to the sand, though with the forethought to place the lot of it off to the side enough so as not to keep the borrower beneath it, “Sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t see you were so… stuck!”

Weld had yet to speak, hesitantly sparing a glance up at the human who had now leaned to loom over him with worried eyes. He sawed at his bonds, the barbs of his grapple catching on the netting at each push-and-pull, only forming little knots from the fibers each point loosened. Dread made his efforts more frantic as his plan continued to fail, and the matted knots of green nylon around his wrist only grew larger. 

The borrower slumped to the ground, defeated, and he could feel the burning prick of frustrated tears finally come to his eyes — they fell before he could blink them away, a few rolling down his cheeks and catching in the thick of his beard. Weld watched the shadow of the human encroach overhead, and one of those massive hands slowly inched towards his webbed arm. 

“Hey, alright,” the human spoke softly, and taking the chance of a distraction, slipped a hand behind the borrower, “Stop squirming for a minute, I’m gonna try to untangle this thing. But you got yourself pretty stuck, so, uh, it might take a while.”

Weld felt those fingers on his back again like he had the day before, and his body fell frighteningly still. He could feel the cushion of fresh medical wraps around the human’s palm, and the incessant warmth that, as always, started through them. But, more pressing was the sudden pressure on either side of his wrist as an enormous index finger and thumb caught it in a pinch.

The human heaved a sigh of relief at Weld’s stillness, and shifted their hand to gently hold his atop the pad of a fingertip. “Good! This is— okay,” they took a deep breath as they leaned forward, and started to gently tug on the first nylon knot, shifting the excess of the net off of the borrower, “Sorry, I know I got you into this. With the… net and everything. But, uh, I’m gonna get you out of it! So please, just relax… and trust me…”

Weld held his tongue between his teeth. He watched with wide eyes every move the human made, his back beginning to ache as he refused to lean against their hand, though glad to no longer be surrounded by the green netting. Every part of him was stiff as a board, agonizingly tense with adrenaline for the unpredictability of the giant stranger — who, for right now, had held him gently in their palms the last two times they had met, though he never knew how quickly that could change. The warmth was overbearing, a stifling heat as if the human held the very air around themself in an atmosphere of their own, and he couldn’t stop the other half of his brain from reminding him how these stories usually ended. 

He hated that feeling, that fear that he was going to be hurt; Weld knew nothing about the stranger besides that they were human, and something told him he couldn’t judge the content of their heart based solely on that. But he couldn’t help that his nerves buzzed every time the human touched him or stared at him for too long — it was just… instinct. 

His breath caught tightly in his throat as he stared past the human’s glasses and into dark-brown eyes, their gaze too focused on the borrower’s predicament to notice his intense studying. Two fingers gently tugged on his wrist with a strength he couldn’t even begin to comprehend. Weld decided, despite his unfamiliarity with the human’s values, he didn’t like being held very much.

“My name’s Gio,” the human started, after a brief pause to clear their throat, “Uh, I don’t think I’ve actually said that yet… I’ve done all this to you and I haven’t even given you my name yet, ha— but, I guess, there it is.”

They pulled each nylon thread across his skin — back, forward, tight, loose — until the fibers left red lines in a cuff around his wrist. Weld couldn’t help but stare them right in the face as they continued their work, watching for something to change in their expression of tongue-biting focus. 

The human, or ’Gio’, as Weld had learned, caught the little, staring eyes of the borrower, and quickly lowered them back to the sand with an awkward laugh — all attempts to ignore the absurdity of the situation, despite having been the one to cause it. Weld’s breath hitched every time one of their fingers reached from the palm at his back and encroached within his personal space to graze curiously against his body. But, he never could unfreeze himself from his spot — not so long as the human still kept his wrist in a gentle pinch. 

“You don’t happen to have a name…” the human started, daring to steal a glance at the borrower, “Do you?”

Weld held their gaze, regardless of that burning sensation at the nape of his neck that made his stomach turn. He nervously tugged at his trapped wrist, and his expression twisted to a hunted grimace. Everything felt terribly wrong, sitting captured in a giant’s hand and being asked questions so casually, like nothing was the issue — yet something in him, past the bile that rose in his throat and the sickly look on his face, wanted to nod. The answer was short, small. Just one, nearly imperceptible movement — up and down. 

But even the smallest movement was enough for Gio. The human’s smile cracked from ear to ear — to Weld, a painfully toothy sight that filled the whole of his vision, and sent a prickling heat through each strand of wiry fur across his back. They stared for a moment longer, just enough for Weld to realize he couldn’t take it for another second as he began to tug on his entrapped arm again. “I figured you did,” they exclaimed, voice hushed, turning back to the work at hand, “Everyone has a name. My real name is Giorgio. Most people call me Gio — you could, too, if you want… I actually prefer it — but my mom still calls me Giorgio.” 

The netting tugged roughly on the borrower’s arm, and Weld responded with a sharp grimace. Gio lightly hissed, and mumbled an apology. “Um… I don’t think I’m gonna be able to untangle you like this,” they admitted, sheepishly raising their gaze from Weld’s surely-by-now welt-covered hand, and the borrower decided he didn’t like where this was going. The human reached one hand away and patted at their backpack, until they pulled out a folded-up knife, “But I could cut you out of it…?”

Weld was weighing his options as he stared at the utility knife in Gio’s hand, luckily still hidden away in its metal frame. But, as he stared at the handle of a folded blade that nearly sized him up, from what he could tell, Weld considered which option made the sickness in his stomach settle the quickest — continued manhandling by a giant, or the cold sting of a blade against his skin, for just a moment? He paused, as if to consider something again… then his free hand grabbed hold of the netting and tugged on it with a pointed stare at Gio.

The human cocked their head. “What? The net?” They tightened their grip on the knife, then their face lit up in realization, “Oh! Yeah, the net! I’m gonna cut the net! Not— not your arm!”

Weld drew his body away from his arm, sticking the offending limb in its tangled mess as far from himself as he could before giving a stiff, hesitant nod to the human that loomed above him. They opened the knife with a sharp click — Weld’s hair stood on end, and he grimaced as he hung his head low, refusing to watch as the human lowered the tool to level with the delicate limb that he held out of the net as a hopeful sacrifice. Both of the human’s hands fell heavily around him — the air becoming humid and hot as the cool metal connected with his skin, lodging itself beneath the tangle of the net while Weld pitifully pressed his back against the soft palm surrounding him, a watering eye squinting open with morbid curiosity to watch the scene before him.

The pocket blade — a bit dull near the ends and scratched from whatever business — sawed at the net, the serrated bit at its center catching the filaments of the green webbing and doing most of the human’s dirty work, back and forth until Weld could almost begin to feel a line of raw, red skin form on his arm where the back end of the knife had left an irritated scrape. A few of the cords snapped, Weld noted with a soft gasp, and he could begin to wiggle his arm free — but the powerful pinch on his forearm convinced him to do otherwise. 

“Just a little more…” Gio promised, and Weld forced both his eyes open to stare at the human who, just for a moment, went back to their tongue-biting face of focus before they decided to speak again, “I am actually really sorry for, y’know, getting you into all this…” they murmured, not taking their eyes off the work at hand as another few pieces snapped, “Is there any way I can make it up to you? Help you out a bit?”

Weld thought back to the scarcity of his shelves lining the storeroom of his burrow — the driving factor behind this trip in the first place — and furrowed his brow. He didn’t much like the idea of taking food from a strange human, especially not after they’d caught him in a net and he’d sunken his teeth into their skin just the day before, but the risk of starving was even less savory, and the offer was staring him right in the face. He wiped his eyes of their watering tears.

Gio brought their knife through the last cord of nylon, and the borrower was pulling his arm free and standing to reel a few steps away from the human before they could even give the go-ahead, “You… beat me to it!” They sighed, sitting back on their heels, and stowed the pocket knife in its place in their backpack, “Um. I guess that’s a big, hard ‘no’ on the help thing, then, yeah?”

The borrower paused, weighing his options once more before hesitantly raising his hands to mime the gesture of biting a piece of food — grasping the air in front of himself and lifting it to his mouth, taking an exaggerated chomp out of the imaginary meal.

Gio cocked their head, and squinted a bit at the sudden display. “…What?”

Weld mimed the action again, this time more insistent.

“Oh!” Gio tapped their head, “Watermelon.”

He had to try a different avenue. Weld pointed at the human’s backpack, just off to their side, and took a cautious step towards Gio’s shoe.

“My backpack?” Gio glanced at it, “There’s not much in it. Kinda just, like, the typical stuff; water bottle, bug spray, pocket knife, a snack, my house keys—“

Gio was distracted by the pantomime borrower whose superstition was proven right. He brought his hands to his face at double speed, and this time the human copied him.

It clicked. “Food!” Gio exclaimed, “You want food!”

Weld couldn’t help his relieved sigh, and the slight smile that cracked along his lips, if only for a second. He nodded. 

The human’s eyes glimmered with excitement as they quickly rummaged around in their backpack, barely taking an eye off the borrower. “You smiled!” They laughed, “Just barely, but— but you did! Here, look—“

A loose fist was swung down in front of him, grasping a peeled-open bar of food that Weld only slightly recognized — the families on the boardwalk beside his home would carry them along, and the men at the mechanics would pack them for their lunches. Weld jumped at the sudden approach, but leaned in after a second when the sickly-sweet scent overwhelmed his senses. It reminded him of honeysuckle.

“It’s a granola bar. It’s got, like, ah…” Gio pulled back the packaging a bit, ”…peanuts, oats, and chocolate. I think they’re pretty good. So, dig in!”

Weld inched forward, eyeing the bar and the fist that held it, then plucked a whole peanut out of the sticky sugar with both of his hands. He gave the human a lopsided grin. 

“Do you want more?” They asked, shrugging, “If not, I’ll probably just eat the rest. No use wasting it.”

The peanut was set aside in the sand in the face of a better goal. Weld reached out for more, trying this time to break off a chunk of the bar much bigger than last time — about the length of his forearm, both across and long. The grains that messily crumbled into his hands he quickly brought to his mouth, while the rest was stored away in his pack. He turned his attention, again, to the peanut, its sticky coating covered in grains of sand, but easily picked off despite it all. Weld gnawed at the sweet snack, finding a spot he felt comfortable enough planting his feet to pause to eat, although he was charged to dash at a moment's notice.

The human smiled, seemingly satisfied that the borrower hadn’t fled the second he’d gotten his hands on what he’d wanted. They splayed a leg out in front of them — slowly, enough warning for the borrower to step carefully out of the way of the massive action, and another forewarning as the other leg followed — until they were sitting just a few feet across from the little redhead. They took a bite of the remaining granola bar, tapped once on the device sitting idly in their lap, and shrugged.

Weld got the feeling this night was going to last longer than he had once hoped.

#borrowers #g/t #g/t writing #gt #giant/tiny #weld #gio #oc stuff #writing

[readingslover]

Chapter IV

Previous Chapter: Chapter 3

March 20, 2020

@/HannaGrace posted a video

Liked by Selenagomez and others

While we’re looking for things to do at home, I thought it’d be fun to share behind the scenes of my dad’s acting debut. 🎾

-----------

March 21, 2020

We had to push our songwriting session a few days back, to today, due to Jack being unable to join. However, I did some writing without Jack on the things that Aaron sent me. Austin should be here any minute now so I get everything ready for the sessions.

Right when someone, I guess Austin, knocks on my door I hear my phone ringing. I pick up my phone while walking towards the door. When I open the door. I see Austin standing there. I put my finger on my lips to tell him to stay silent while I answer my phone. “Hey, Kirsten. How are you?”

“Hey, Hannah. I’m doing good. How are you? How is it in Australia with the pandemic?”

“I’m good and healthy. We are shutting down production due to someone testing positive.”

“I hope it picks up again soon. I called because I needed to tell you something. I had a call with the management earlier today… and we thought it would be for the best if we canceled your upcoming tour.”

“I… I don’t know what to say. Can’t we wait a few more weeks? You know the tour starts in June we are only in March maybe in May this could be over.”

“Hannah, I know you don’t like to disappoint your fans but it’s for the best. This way you let them see that you care about everybody’s health and if I can be honest I don’t think this will be over in June.”

“Can”t we just postpone the tour until next year?”

“We could do the US and Brazil dates, but the international dates I would cancel. We don’t know how it’ll be in other countries so it’s for the best.”

“Okay. I will release a statement this week.”

We say our goodbyes and I hang up. I turn around to Austin who’s now sitting on my couch next to my guitar. I look at him to see him looking at me with sympathy. “I don’t know how you feel right now, but from what I’ve heard I also think it’s for the best. I know how much you couldn’t wait to be on stage again, but it’s the safer option.”

“I know it’s the safer option, Aus. Doesn’t mean it hurts less. I just hope that I can tour next year.”

After that, we talk for a while before calling Jack and Aaron. In the hours that follow, we write lyrics, compose some melodies and just talk. After we are done I ask Austin if he wanted to stay for dinner, I am making a very simple pasta carbonara.

--------

@/HannahGrace posted on Instagram

Liked by HannahNation and others

I'm so sad I won't be able to see you guys in concert this year, but I know this is the right decision. Please, please stay healthy and safe. I'll see you on stage as soon as I can but right now what's important is committing to this quarantine, for the sake of all of us.

------------------

March 30, 2020

We are now a few weeks further. Still isolated at home. Baz had sent us an e-mail to tell us that production will be pushed back at least 6 months. So until September. We could choose to fly back home or stay here in Australia. I decided to stay. It would be safer to not fly on a plane with hundreds of people who want to rush home as fast as they can.

During these past few weeks, Austin came over a lot. I know it isn’t safe, but being alone is driving me crazy, and apparently him too. We wrote further on some songs we started during the session with Jack and Aaron last week. I also went to his apartment a few times which is just one floor under mine.

One thing I also did this week was painting. I shipped over some stuff to entertain me and a painting set and a canvas were also in it. I painted a house with a river and a walk pad towards the house. I turned out better than I expected. When Austin saw it he literally asked me: “What can’t you do.” 

I also had a few calls with my mum and Selena. Sometimes Austin was with me when they called and they talked a few times over the phone with each other. Where Selena and Austin brought up him guest-starring on the Disney show Wizards Of Wavery Place. I did the same with Ashley when she called Austin when he was over. The first time I talked to her I couldn’t believe I was talking to THE Sharpay of the High School Musical trilogy. I think Austin could tell because he was just laughing when he hung up and saw my face. A few days later Austin told me that Ashley had the same reaction as me. 

The thing that I picked up on at Austin’s apartment was that he is starting to create a timeline with pictures of Elvis throughout the years on his wall. At first, I was taken aback but he explained, that it could help him better his Elvis impressions until we start filming again. 

Another thing that happened was that Austin asked me for another date. He called it a date-at-home. It went like this:

I was putting away my paint stuff while Austin inspected the painting I had just painted. 

“What can’t you do? I mean this is incredible for someone who is not taking lessons.”

“I guess I can do a lot of things.”

“You guess, or you know?”

“I know I pick up things really fast, but I didn’t think painting was something I would ever do.”

I walked over to where he was sitting on my sofa. I sit down and take a sip of my drink that was standing there since I started painting. Austin did the same before putting it down and turning to me.

“I want to have another date with you.”

“Austin, you know we can’t go anywhere. Everything is closed.”

“Yes, I know that. But I was thinking about a date-at-home kinda thing. Where we dress up. I come to pick you up. We go to my apartment and have dinner cooked by me.”

“I would love to do that, Austin.”

“Alright, then I will pick you up Monday at 6.”

After that, we just hung out. Did some exercises for his voice and wrote some songs.

So right now I am going through my closet trying to find something to wear that is chic and not too casual. I ordered some things online that arrived yesterday. I also texted Selena this morning when I woke up with my choices. We decided on a black longsleeved turtle neck with a skirt that is checkered and comes to my ankles. I keep my makeup to a minimal natural look.

A few minutes before 6 someone knocks on my door. It’s probably Austin to pick me up. I put on my heels before I open the door. When the door is open I see Austin standing there in a buttoned-up shirt and dress pants. He looks me up and down taking in what I’m wearing. “You look beautiful.” He says when his eyes meet mine. “Thank you. You polish up good.” I say when he holds his arm out for me to hook my hand in.

“If the shops were open I would buy you a bouquet of orchids and hydrangeas.” 

He memorized my favorite flowers. This is way too good to be true.

“Well maybe sometime in the future.”

He leads me towards the elevator and pushes on the button so the elevator comes.

“You know, I can perfectly do the stairs. Even in these heels.”

“I know, but I also know from my sister that even when you can do then after a while your feet will hurt as hell.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

When the elevator arrives we get in and stand in comfortable silence while going to his floor. The elevator doors open and we get out. He opens his door and lets me go in first.

Walking in I notice that there are no big lights on, just small table lights. In the middle of the table is a candle burning with on either side plates and cutlery. This really is a romantic date. “Austin, I love this,” I say when I turn to look at him. He visibly relaxes. “I hoped you would.”

He walks me to a chair and holds it out for me to sit in. Then he walks towards the kitchen where he gets a pot from the kitchen. He places it on the table and opens the lid. I’m immediately hit with the smell of spaghetti bolognese. “I hope a simple spaghetti is good for you?” Austin asks. “It’s perfect. It smells amazing.” I tell him while he fills my plate with the delicious-smelling meal.

During the dinner, we talked a lot. We talked more about our family and friends. And sometimes there were a few silent moments but not uncomfortable ones. We also drank a lot of wine. I think we are now halfway through our second bottle and have left the table for the couch. Austin is telling about working on the set with Ashley and how they both immediately clicked. I do have to admit, I’m listening but not really picking up on what he is saying. It could be because of the many glasses of wine that I had, but it could also be because I am unashamed staring at him. He probably thinks it’s me listening. How could I not stare? He looks so attractive in a suit. And his eyes are full of light when he talks about the things he loves. 

“You know, you can take a picture if you like to stare at me.” Austin gets me from my staring state. My eyes go wide open from embarrassment and Austin starts to laugh. It takes me a minute to recover from that. 

“I get it. I do look good.”

“Oh, you’re getting cocky now?”

“Well, I just caught you full-on staring at me for a couple of minutes without shame. It complements my ego.”

“Well try to look less graceful and then maybe I would actually focus on what you’re saying.”

“You think I look graceful?”

“You look every synonym of beautiful. So yeah, you look graceful, pretty, handsome, gorgeous, raveling, sparkling. I could go on if you’d like.” After I said that his cheeks flushed red. 

Oh god, are we flirting?

“Look who’s embarrassed now?”

“Nobody has ever used so many words to tell me I’m beautiful. Even if they are synonyms.”

“Well if something or someone looks beautiful I think you always have to say it to them. It could mean the world to them.”

“I have to say, Hannah. I’ve never met anyone quite like you.”

After he says that we look at each other while staying silent. We are sitting so close to each other that I can feel Austin breathe.

While I continue staring into his ocean blue eyes. I notice him leaning in, so carefully. Like when he does it too fast I would run away. But truth be told I don’t think I want to run. When his lips almost touch mine I can hear him whisper: “I wanted to do this for a long time.”

And then he kisses me.

It’s a slow, passionate kiss that leaves me breathless. When our lips don’t touch anymore he opens his eyes and looks right in mine.

“You have no idea how long I wanted to do this.”

And he kisses me again with even more passion than the last one

-------

Chapter 5 (OIW)

#austin butler fanfic #austin butler imagines #autinbutler #austin butler #swifties #taylor swift #elvis film #fanfic #taylornation

[swan-of-sunrise]

Spellbinding (Chapter Twenty Seven-Part Two)

Summary: As (Y/N) slowly heals from her physical and mental injuries, she’s helped and supported by her teammates. Things begin to look up for her until she receives a visit from two Alfheimian allies, who bear some surprising and life-altering news.

Pairing: Loki X Reader

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings/Disclaimers: Disclaimer for a depiction and discussion of grief disorders, PTSD and their symptoms

A/N: Only one more chapter to go after this! Again, I’m really sorry for the delay, I feel terrible leaving you guys waiting for this but I hope you like it! Thank you so much for reading and I hope that you enjoy!

Chapter Twenty-Seven (Part II) June 7th, 2016 Avengers Tower, New York City (Previous Chapter)

The weeks following the Battle of Boston were quite possibly the hardest and most disorienting weeks of (Y/N)’s life, so much so that she often found herself wondering if she were truly awake and not still lying unconscious and unresponsive in a hospital bed. But not even she could dream up everything that transpired over the course of those few weeks…

Seeing her friends again after all they’d done for her had nearly reduced her into a puddle of tears, even more so after Loki told her just how worried they’d been for her when she ran away to Alfheim and the entire time she’d been unconscious. They visited her in pairs and sat at her bedside, doing their very best to distract her from her physical and emotional pain; Steve sketched intricate comic panels featuring all of the Avengers and Natasha helped her write funny captions for them, Tony and Bruce talked to her about some of the projects they’d been developing in the lab, Clint confided in her about his hearing loss and happily began teaching both her and Peter Parker some basic American sign language, Bucky recounted stories from his life before World War II while Sam told her all about his extended family back home in Delacroix, and Scott even brought his daughter Cassie along when he visited and showed off his close-up magic skills. The exuberant six-year-old was thrilled to meet her second-favorite Avenger, proudly declaring her father to be her all-time favorite, and she even brought her copy of Charlotte’s Web to read to her. Thor was unable to visit as often as the others, since he was busy helping Elora foster peace in the war-torn Alfheim, but he would still take the time to check in on her whenever he could. She appreciated everything her friends had done for her, of course, but there wasn’t anything they could do to stop the nightmares that plagued her whenever she closed her eyes.

Sam mentioned that she might be experiencing several symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and one of the hospital’s on-call psychologists officially diagnosed her a week after she’d regained consciousness. Since Sam was a certified counselor and he understood the unusual circumstances surrounding the diagnosis, (Y/N) agreed to begin psychotherapy sessions with him; they talked about her experiences in Alfheim and the reoccurring nightmares that always centered around the violent Battle of Boston, and the symptoms of her PTSD slowly became more and more manageable. Sam often told her that while healing from trauma would be a lengthy process, the way she chose to carry it with her could end up making all the difference. Talking to Loki also seemed to help; her fiancé was a patient listener, holding her hand for support whenever she attempted to open up and wrapping her in comforting embraces when the words became too difficult to speak. He understood the anxiety and fear that she felt, having only recently learned to cope with his own trauma, and he did everything in his power to help her feel safe.

The physical wounds (Y/N) sustained were only slightly easier to cope with; the severeness of her injuries kept her in the hospital for two weeks and the overexertion of her Alf Seidr only made the healing process go slower. Frigga consulted with several Alfheimian healers and together, they were able to concoct a rejuvenation potion suitable for a half-Alfheimian, half-human to safely ingest; it worked to strengthen her weakened magic and in turn, her body gained the strength it needed to begin healing itself. After two weeks of careful observation, she was released from the hospital and transported to the Avengers Tower, where she spent an additional week of rest in the tower’s sickbay under the watchful eyes of Bruce and Doctor Cho before being allowed back to her suite. The next several weeks were devoted to brief physical therapy sessions, to exercise the leg Tarian had slashed open during their duel and to regain the muscle strength she’d lost while on bed-rest; Loki attended each session with her, his words of encouragement and bolstering smiles helping her power through the draining sessions, and the Epsom salt and lavender-scented bubble baths he prepared for her afterwards were an added bonus.

Whenever she wasn’t attending physical therapy or psychotherapy sessions, (Y/N) was resting and after almost a month of enduring the monotonous routine, she started to grow restless. There were only so many books and movies to keep her occupied and while her fiancé and friends tried their best to alleviate her boredom, their busy schedules in the wake of the Battle of Boston made it a challenge. An offhand comment of Sam’s during one of their sessions together gave her an idea and after consulting the internet for a second opinion, she found the perfect, non-strenuous activity to pass the time, one that everyone in the tower seemed to find just as much if not a little bit more enjoyment in than her…

“Woo-hoo, nobody knows it,” Tony and Clint sang into their improvised microphones, and the billionaire did a dramatic twirl before pointing at the archer. “But when I was down…”

“I was your clown!”

They both shimmied their shoulders in perfect synchronization. “Woo-hoo, nobody knows it, but right from the start…”

“I gave you my heart,” Clint’s free hand rested on his chest while he continued belting into the hairbrush he was clutching tight. “Oh-oh, I gave you my heart!”

“So, don’t go breaking my heart.”

“I won’t go breaking your heart.”

Embracing their natural theatricality, both Tony and Clint whipped around to face one another and sang together, “Don’t go breaking my heart!”

From where they sat on the library’s comfy sofa, Natasha and Sam whistled and cheered both men on as they continued their spirited rendition of Elton John and Kiki Dee’s “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart,” and (Y/N)’s fingers flew across the black and white keys of the grand piano she sat at, her own lips curved into a cheerful grin as her eyes flicked between the keys and the two grown men singing into plastic hairbrushes and dancing around the library.

Before her aunt’s death, she loved playing the piano and despite not sitting down at one in nearly four years, it wasn’t difficult to remember how to play; taking Sam’s advice, she read several medical papers that explored the correlation between playing a musical instrument and recovering from traumatic events, eventually deciding that resuming her old hobby was worth a shot. At first, the musical therapy sessions only comprised of her and Loki, who softly hummed along to the songs she performed but otherwise stretched out on the sofa and quietly listened to her playing while he kept her company, but their teammates soon started attending and the sessions quickly evolved into Avenger karaoke, an evolution that she eagerly went along with and actively encouraged. They can use an outlet for their untapped theatricality and I can always use the free entertainment, she thought to herself, her grin widening when she spotted Loki entering the library with a look of amusement on his face at the scene before him.

“I always had an inkling that my life would be strange and unpredictable, but I never imagined that I’d witness two of my former enemies performing their hearts out while my beautiful fiancé accompanies them on piano,” Loki remarked as he sat down on the bench beside her, kissing her temple and leaning back to watch her play the song’s bridge. “If this is how Barton and Stark perform while sober, I can’t begin to imagine what they’d do after they’ve had a few too many drinks.”

(Y/N) chuckled while keeping her eyes on the black and white keys beneath her fingertips. “I suppose we’ll find out at our wedding reception, won’t we?”

At the mention of their impending nuptials, he wrapped an arm around her waist and gave her side an affectionate squeeze. “I suppose we will.” While the two Avengers continued their boisterous performance, her fiancé hummed along to her playing and tapped his fingers against her hip in time with the beat, waiting until the song was almost finished before quietly singing to her, “Don’t go breaking my heart…”

“I won’t go breaking your heart,” She sang back, playfully bumping Loki’s arm with her elbow and winking at him as she ended the song with one final flourish on the keys; the room burst into applause and she couldn’t help but giggle at the silliness of it all before bowing her head in acknowledgement. “You two should really be careful. If the paparazzi catches wind of your musical talent, Broadway producers might come knocking for you to star in an Avengers show.”

“If they don’t, then I’ll produce and star in one myself,” Tony loudly declared after taking a bow of his own. “My old man made some movies back in the 40’s, after all. Maybe I’ll one-up him and put on a Broadway show, win a ton of awards alongside Barton here.”

Clint snorted in amusement but shook his head. “As tempting as that may be, Stark, I think I’ll stick to the private performances.”

“Barton’s not the only other Avenger with theatrical talents, you know.” A smirk crossed Natasha’s face as she got up from the sofa and moved to lean an elbow against the piano. “From what I hear, the Star-Spangled-Man-With-A-Plan put on one hell of a show back in the day.”

With a snort of amusement, Sam extended his arm and gestured at an invisible theatre marquee before him. “I can see it now: ‘Rogers: The Musical,’ featuring the award-winning song ‘I Can Do This All Day’ and the old war-time classic ‘Star Spangled Man.’”

“You guys are a riot,” Steve dryly spoke over their laughter as he walked into the library; he was still dressed in his uniform with his shield slung over his back, but he was also clutching an oversized cardboard key in his hand. “But I’d prefer putting on that ridiculous Captain America USO costume again over attending another one of these ceremonies.” (Y/N) winced a little and gave the super soldier a guilty smile; because of her actions during the Battle of Boston, she’d been invited to dozens of award ceremonies and events being held in her honor but due to her extensive injuries, her teammates got together and decided to trade off attending them in her place. If she were being honest, she was glad for the opportunity to avoid the limelight; she did what needed to be done on Alfheim and in Boston, and she felt highly uncomfortable at the thought of receiving awards and honors for simply doing the right thing. “The Mayor awarded you the key to the city and told me to wish you a speedy recovery.” The super soldier’s eyes softened. “She also wanted you to know that the city council voted to rename Boston Common’s bandstand after your father; it’s now the David B. (Y/L/N) Memorial Bandstand, to honor the life and sacrifice of a Bostonian hero.”

(Y/N) swallowed the lump in her throat and gave Steve a tight smile before averting her gaze. “Thank you for letting me know, Steve.” Her eyes stung with unshed tears and to distract herself from the sudden and unexpected surge of grief, she returned her attention back to the piano and absentmindedly resumed playing; she immersed herself in the notes, tuning out the voices of her teammates around her and trying her best to keep herself from breaking down in front of them.

She wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Loki’s hand rested on her back and she felt his thumb begin to move in soothing circles; her eyes flicked up and she was surprised to see that the library was empty except for the two of them. “The others wanted to give you some space,” Loki softly explained as his other hand reached up to gently wipe a wayward tear away from her cheek. “Steve’s sorry for upsetting you.”

“He shouldn’t be, I-I’m glad he told me but it’s just…” (Y/N) took a ragged breath and looked over at her sympathetic fiancé. “Right when I start to think that I can handle losing my dad, the grief rushes in and just knocks me back down; Sam told me that it’s a reflection of how important his life was to me and that the grief has to unfold at a natural pace in order for the healing to begin, but sometimes I think that it’ll never get better…that it’ll just keep hurting more and more until nothing’s left but the pain.” She looked back down and realized with a ghost of a smile what she’d inadvertently begun playing. “‘She’s Always a Woman’ by Billy Joel. Dad told me once that it was my mom’s favorite song; he used to play it for her all the time, said that the lyrics perfectly described her.”

Her fingers stilled against the piano keys and before she knew it, Loki had gathered her into his arms and carried her over to the sofa, sitting down and holding her securely in his lap while she cried against his neck. When her tears finally began to dry, he started to slowly press soft kisses along her cheeks and brow as one of his hands moved to caress her hair. “I’m right here, darling, I’ve got you.” He gently began rocking her while she curled her fingers around the collar of his shirt to bring him closer. “You’re grieving for more than just your father, (Y/N); you’re grieving for your family – your father, your mother and your aunt – and the life you could’ve had with them if Tarian hadn’t taken it away. I know that it doesn’t feel like it at the moment, but I promise that the pain of your losses will not overtake you.”

Nuzzling against the smooth skin of his neck, (Y/N) kissed his jaw once and quietly murmured, “Thank you for being here with me, sweetheart.” Her fiancé hummed in acknowledgement and rested his cheek against her head as he only tightened his hold on her. “I just…I wish that we could just get away from everything. The media circus, the award ceremonies, the never-ending chaos, all of it; after everything that’s happened, I want us to go somewhere where we can just breathe and pretend that we’re not superheroes for a few days.”

“Then let’s do it.” (Y/N)’s head snapped up as she blinked in surprise and Loki gave her an earnest grin. “Let’s go somewhere, just you and I. A vacation all to ourselves.”

“S-Seriously?”

His grin widened as he emphatically nodded. “We can go anywhere you want, my love, I don’t care where so long as I’m with you.”

“Oh, my goodness, there’s so many places we could go…I-I just…” Unable to form a complete sentence in her stunned state, (Y/N) pulled Loki’s face down and crashed her lips against his in a passion-filled kiss; he made a sound of surprise at her sudden action, but was quick to return the kiss with an equal amount of enthusiasm. When they were finally forced to separate for air, she tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear and smiled at the slightly dazed look in his emerald-green eyes. “I’d like that very, very much, Loki.”

The corners of Loki’s eyes crinkled as he smirked in amusement. “Yes, I believe I got the hint, darling.” He leaned in to kiss her again but just then, a blinding rainbow-colored light shone through the library’s windows and caught their attention. The Bifrost had landed on the tower’s protruding helipad and its bright light faded away to reveal, Thor, Elora and, to (Y/N)’s surprise, Amirah; while the Asgardian prince and the Alfheimian general conversed with one another, the former princess curiously looked out at the New York City skyline and even from her spot in the tower’s library, (Y/N) could see the wonderment and awe written across Amirah’s features. “It appears that we have visitors,” Loki sighed and glanced back at (Y/N) with his brow knit in concern. “If you’re not up for it, I can always ask them to come back later.”

“No, it’s okay, I think that a visit could do me some good right now.” She slid off of Loki’s lap and stood, wincing in discomfort as her strained muscles ached in protest; she’d completed an intense session of P.T. and was in desperate need of a warm Epsom salt soak, but it would have to wait until after her friends’ visit. “Could you help me to the common room, please? Natasha put me through the ringer earlier and my legs still feel like sore Jell-o.”

With a soft smile, Loki nodded and stood up from the sofa before taking a hold of one of her hands and pressing a feather-soft kiss to the center of her palm, something he’d regularly taken to doing since she regained consciousness in the hospital. “Anything for you, my darling (Y/N).”

“Mmm, anything, huh? Since you just finished the Percy Jackson series, will you read the Heroes of Olympus series with me?”

“Oh Hel, there’s more of them?! That Riordan fellow is a menace, honestly…”

(Y/N) bit her lip to keep from laughing while he ranted on, deciding to wait until another time to tell her fiancée that along with his Greek and Roman mythology books, Mr. Riordan had also recently released the first novel in his greatly-anticipated Norse mythology series.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“…And with the supplies and aid sent to us from Asgard, Alfheim is slowly but surely beginning to recover from Tarian’s autocratic rule,” Elora assured them with a begrudging smile. “Prince Thor has proven to be a wise and generous ally in our time of need; the Council was so impressed with the respectful way in which he’s aided our realm that they’ve unanimously decided to enter into new peace treaty negotiations with Asgard.”

(Y/N) beamed in happiness. “That’s wonderful news! Once a peace treaty is signed, trade routes can be established and with the influx of fresh resources from across the Nine Realms, Alfheim will finally start to heal after all those centuries trapped beneath Freyr’s barrier.” She glanced over at Thor reclining in one of the common room’s armchairs. “It seems that we owe you our thanks, Thor.”

“Ah, but it would be entirely unfair to take all the credit, Lady (Y/N), not when Lady Amirah here offered me such skilled advice and guidance when it came to dealing with her countrymen. There aren’t many who can wield diplomacy as well as they wield a sword, but she is equally proficient at both.”

The older Asgardian’s ears were bright pink as he briefly looked over at Amirah, and both (Y/N) and Loki exchanged a knowing smile before she addressed the former princess. “The Council hasn’t been giving you any trouble, have they?”

“They did at first, but they quickly changed their tune once they learned that it was I who convinced the Royal Guard to turn against my father.” Amirah tucked a loose lock of hair behind her pointed ear and gave (Y/N) a tentative sort of smile; the relationship between her and the tyrant’s daughter was only just beginning to feel normal. Despite the obvious mind-control she’d been subjected to, Amirah blamed herself for many of her father’s despicable actions and when she visited (Y/N) at the hospital, she expressed guilt over her severe injuries but (Y/N) was quick to comfort the former princess; Amirah was a victim, just as she was, and there was no way she could blame the Alfheimian who risked everything to do the right thing, even when it resulted in the death of her own father. “And how is your recovery going?”

“Now that my wounds are fully healed and I’ve regained the muscle strength I lost while on bed-rest, Bruce and Doctor Cho decided that next week’s physical therapy session will be my last. As for everything else…” (Y/N)’s grip on Loki’s hand tightened a little as she took a steadying breath and smiled. “Some days are harder than others, but I’m doing better.”

Elora’s golden eyes filled with sadness at her reply. “I miss him, too. It comforts me to know that he’s found peace amongst the stars with Layeia and his sister, but I wish that he were here to see you finish what your mother started…which leads us to the second purpose of our visit: your coronation.” (Y/N) blinked in surprise and Loki stiffened beside her, both seemingly taken aback by the sudden reminder that the throne of Alfheim was rightfully hers. “On Alfheim, coronations traditionally take place on Midsumarblot, the celebration of the summer solstice.”

“But that’s in two weeks’ time,” Loki pointed out and when she glanced over at him, his brow was furrowed in concern. “Surely more time can be granted for her to learn the intricacies of ruling an entire realm before she’s crowned your queen?”

“I’m sorry, Prince Loki, but we cannot afford to wait any longer; the longer the throne remains vacant, the higher the chance that-”

“That someone like my father will rise up and attempt to claim it for themselves.” The former princess was resolute in her words, but the way she was fiddling with the hem of her tunic gave away the uneasiness she was feeling. “Our people have been through enough, your highness, and right now they deserve a queen who has their best interests at heart.”

“But what of Lady (Y/N)’s best interests? As I told you back in Ljosalfgard, she’s suffered through a traumatic experience and should be focused on healing at the moment, not worrying about having to rule Alfheim.”

“Prince Thor, I-”

“I wish you’d all stop talking as though I’m not here,” (Y/N) interrupted, watching as their expressions grew apologetic and they cast their eyes downwards. “I appreciate your concerns, I really do, but I just…” She looked down at her lap, her mind racing to process the implications of her inheritance. “Becoming the Queen of Alfheim means I’ll have to give up being an Avenger, doesn’t it?”

Elora shared a look with Amirah and slowly nodded. “Your duty will be to Alfheim, to protect and rule over its people with the wisdom and grace of all the kings and queens before you. But you’ll finally be among your people, (Y/N), just as your mother always wanted for you; you’ll have the opportunity to learn about your Alfheimian lineage and understand the part of yourself that’s gone unexplored for so long. You’ll finally be home.”

Feeling the eyes of all four of them diligently trained on her, (Y/N) carefully stood and slowly walked over to the nearest wall, where over a dozen framed sketches hung on display; Steve had spent the better part of a year sketching the team and brushing up his talented work, finally unveiling them on the day she’d been released from Metro-General Hospital as a ‘welcome home’ present. Each sketch depicted a single Avenger involved in whichever task or hobby they enjoyed the most; Tony was tinkering with his Iron Man suit, Bruce was in the middle of conducting an experiment, Natasha was posed in one of her many fighting stances, Clint was firing an arrow at a target, Thor was using Mjolnir to summon a bolt of lightning in one hand and holding a shawarma in the other, Sam was in the middle of leading a counseling session at the local V.A., Bucky was practicing a series of knife-flips, Spider-Man was swinging across the rooftops of Queens, Scott was performing a close-up magic trick, Rhodey was seated on the wing of the F-22 Raptor that he used to help train Air Force pilots, Loki was sitting cross-legged and reading the hardcover book resting in his lap and (Y/N) was also engrossed in a book, her legs stretched out across the library’s sofa as she peacefully read. In the center of the arrangement of sketches was a photograph of them taken during their unusual but heartwarming Thanksgiving dinner and (Y/N) smiled to herself, reminded of her fiancé’s speech about their resilient bonds of friendship with one another.

The Avengers were family, no doubt about it, but while she loved each and every one of them with all her heart, she now knew that they weren’t her only family in the universe; she’d spent countless months longing to learn more about the Light Elves of Alfheim, her long-lost mother’s mysterious race, and after saving their realm from a tyrannical ruler, she was only two weeks away from ruling over them as their queen. Midgardian or Alfheimian, the Cosmic Sorceress or the Queen of Alfheim, superhero or ruler…it was only inevitable that she would have to choose to live as one or the other, but she hadn’t expected the decision to be quite so difficult to make.

“Don’t make the choices you feel you have to make,” Her mother’s final words of wisdom replayed in her mind and helped to calm herself down. “Just follow your heart and you’ll never find yourself lost.”

“I will, Mom,” (Y/N) whispered, giving the wall of frames one last look before turning back to face Elora, Amirah, Loki and Thor, her mind already made up as she gave them all a small smile and opened her mouth to speak…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Midsumarblot-the celebration of the summer solstice

A/N: I’m sorry but I couldn’t resist leaving you with one final cliffhanger before the last chapter! What do you think (Y/N)’s gonna do?? Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! I’ve created a Spotify playlist inspired by this series, and I’ll be updating it every time I upload a new chapter. Enjoy!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2wx8TZwpDN0l33tES3W3Nk?si=7686d6ef4b394298

Chapter Twenty Eight

Spellbinding Masterlist

Tagging: @nexiva​​​​​​​​ @ravenclawbitch426​​​​​​​​ @cminr​​​​​​​​ @confusedfandomwriter​​​​​​​​ @momc95​​​​​​​​ @nickkie99​​​​​​​​ @austynparksandpizza​​​​​​​​ @brooke0297​​​​​​​​ @a-laufeyson​​​​​​​​​ @outoftheregular​​​​​​​​​ @itscomplicatedx​​​​​​​​​ @0-artemis​​​​​​​​​ @vivloki​​​​​​​​​ @crowleysqueenofhell​​​​​​​​​ @groovy-lady​​​​​ @mostclevermiss​​​

#spellbinding #loki x reader #loki odinson x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #thor odinson #steve rogers #captain america #tony stark #iron man #bruce banner #hulk #natasha romanoff #black widow #clint barton #hawkeye #sam wilson #falcon #bucky barnes #the winter soldier #nick fury #director fury #maria hill #agent hill #james rhodes #rhodey #war machine #scott lang #ant man #peter parker #spiderman

[da-can-draw-stuff]

Same anon as before sorry for the late response (I’m not on Tumblr as often anymore either). But I’ll try to check in every now and then because I am genuinely curious to see what you’re working on! I hope over time you feel more comfortable sharing your work since there are those who really do want to see it (like me!).

Is it alright for me to ask now what you’re working on? (Writing or art is fine 😊)

(Also to answer your question no you never gave me a previous nickname we never really interacted before which is why I’m staying anonymous. I’ve just been following you for a while)

Well hey, if you'd like an anon tag lemme know! For whatever reason, Udon keeps popping up in my head.

And that's very sweet of you! But don't feel obligated, alright?

I'm having a friend help me with setting deadlines (because there's a lot I really want to do), so hopefully you'll all see some consistency again.

What I'm doing right now-now and hope to get up here soon are:

A cute full-body couple commission

A couple chapter covers for an upcoming writing project collab

Some commissioned character designs

Very old artwork I never uploaded (Like, circa 2019-earlier)

Some Solace in Broken Things--I'm gonna try to share some writing snippets or one-shots at some point. And HCs or story-canon stuff alongside the art. (I keep forgetting that I can just start talking and randomly dropping info instead of needing a bunch of planning for an intro post...)

Some stuff from a Samurai Warriors fic for a character I didn't expect to be writing: Ishida Mitsunari (gasp! Koei never actually leaves my blood, it's just dormant)

Doodles. It somehow never occurred to me that I could literally just be doing doodles

Major artworks for June (TBA)

Some kind of artwork or writing for Akechi's birthday (if I can manage it)

Making my way through the 4,000+ drafts I have saved. Couldn't decide if they fit here or a different kind of blog.

#if it reads all vague it's because I don't want to take up too much space in one ask aha...SIBT alone takes a few sentences to explain. #long post #thanks for asking!

[mistresseast]

It's been nearly a full YEAR since the last update, but chapter 12 of divided ceaseless revolt is finally here!!!

For anyone who's still interested, I hope you enjoy the dramatic climax!

#promare #galolio #galolio fic #my fic #the previous chapter was posted in june so i just managed to make it before a year had passed #but still hoo boy its been a while and the fandom is pretty dead but i will finish this fic!!!

[brendonuriegotcancelled]

Zack Cloud Hall Part 2

Panic! at the Disco & Deep Dive

Disclaimer: This post is not to garner sympathy but rather to elicit a kind of understanding. Points being made are to paint a larger picture. I am not a mental health professional and am not diagnosing anyone in these posts, I am only speculating on what I know of mental health from research and my own personal experience. It is worth pointing out that all information in these posts are from Zack himself, Brendon Urie and Zack’s now wife Kala Macdonald.

Before I start the chapter on Panic! I want to go over a few things that are important details.

Zack met his first wife Carol while working at the paintball stores in LA before he even started driving for escorts, I mention this now because Carol will be a big topic during his employment with Panic!

It’s also important to note that due to Zack’s unhealthy relationship with his father growing up, a lot of his emotional maturity and coping mechanisms were toxic for most of his life.

That is until he met his first wife Carol and spent time with her father, Chuck… who became a better example for him.

After his job working security for escorts, Zack was approached by a friend who was a tour manager for the band at the time. Zack was making sometimes over 500$ a night driving for these girls, and would later be asked to stay on full time and train the new drivers. This was due to the fact that all of the women working there felt safer with Zack around than most of the other drivers. At the same time, Panic! was sky rocketing to the top of the charts and the tour manager was having trouble getting them out of venues and hotel rooms without mobs of fans trying to get close to them.

He ended up taking the job as Panic!’s security guard to get out of the danger of his previous job and also was under the impression he would be getting paid 325$ a night (spoiler he wasn’t) he started working for them on June 6, 2006 for 325 dollars a week! He talks about the current tour manager and how his inexperience ended up being a problem for the band (and the crew) because nothing was getting done. Zack explains that he couldn’t sit there any longer and watch things just not get done so he started hand washing and cleaning the bands stage clothes because nobody else was doing it and they were worn every single show night.

Zack talks about his first night with Panic! and how he was essentially just thrown in with little experience and had to take the hits as they came. Their dressing room was a separate building from the venue the first night and he had to walk the band out from the venue doors to the dressing room, which he described as “I think I need to get them from point A) to point B) without people touching them” he recounts putting a rope and having an interaction with a lady that was trying to tell him that he couldn’t tell them what to do and he responded “I’m their bodyguard” which actually caused the mob of people to back up and listen. He says that it took him years to engage in establishing authority without being rude. Which again, he was thrown into the job after working with much harsher social conditions so it was a big transition for him.

While Zack was trying to get used to his new position, he became friends with the band and hung out with them often. At this point fans began to know who he was, and it became a problem in his relationship with Carol (who was only his girlfriend at the time) he states that she would get jealous and accuse him of hooking up with fans during his time in Panic! which he denies throughout the entirety of their relationship. Over time Zack’s duties became more and more personal for the band themselves and his work load stopped being that of just security at venues. Zack was going with the band absolutely everywhere.

He recalls when Carol proposed to him as being sometime after a tour during Pretty. Odd. I believe this was after the Honda Civic Tour. The couple got married in 2010 or 2011 and Zack talks about how over time, the intimacy level decreased in their relationship. However they got along well and lived a pretty good life together in San Diego with their dogs. Zack still being the main security help for Panic! was working constantly, and Carol was consistently frustrated with him travelling all the time.

Throughout line up changes and band members leaving, the one thing that stayed consistent was Brendon and Zack. Over the years there was an unspoken bond between them and Brendon talks about how he knew they would be friends the moment they met.

One morning a few years after Carol and Zack got married, Zack came home from the Gospel Tour and decided to confront Carol about her increasingly strange behavior towards him. He recalls that she began to sob and proceeded to come out to him. This devastated Zack because he had been on and off with Carol for a decade at this point. There was no blame to be placed, there was no reasoning he could grieve without feeling guilty. He explains that he moved out almost immediately but took an apartment close by in case Carol needed support from him. All while he was grieving the loss of his relationship, and the conflicting feelings that came with it. He talks about going on long walks for hours and speaking on the phone with his friend Nicole (who is a therapist) he said those months were the hardest for him emotionally and that it took him a while to come to terms with losing who he thought was a life partner.

When he went back on tour with the band he was still very depressed. He talked about how he would tell the crew every morning “listen, I may be snappy with you guys sometimes for a little while, this is what I’m going through, I’m sorry, it’s never about you”

At the time, the band and crew were sharing a tour bus, and Zack talks about how he would hold his feelings inside all day and when he would go to sleep in his bunk he would cry every single night for weeks. He talks about having a heart to heart with Brendon on a periscope in 2015 stating “I’ve only hugged Brendon twice in my life, and one of them was when both of us were going through a really hard time” this was a reference to when Zack was going through his divorce & Brendon had just found out that his best friend and groomsman at his wedding stole over 150 thousand dollars from him over the period of 4 years. You can find the article here.

Zack stayed friends with his ex wife Carol after he grieved, and still spoke to both ex father and mother in law. Zack is now also friends with Carol’s new wife.

A lot of Zack’s humor & personality got him into trouble within the fandom when the band started picking up more fans and the social climate began to change. To understand this I’m going to talk about his primary and secondary socialization, with the lack of support from his parents, and their inexperience with raising children, Zack got a lot of his socialization from peers. (And let’s be real, a lot of us did)

Definitions:

Primary Socialization: Primary socialization in sociology is the period early in a person's life during which they initially learn and build themselves through experiences and interactions around them. (This is often the period of socialization that sticks with you throughout most of your life)

Secondary Socialization: Secondary socialization refers to the social learning that children undergo when they enter other social institutions, like school. Characteristics of the school, teachers, and the peer group all influence the socialization of children within school settings.

Considering Zack rarely went to school due to him going back and forth from his mothers and fathers he was unable to get a normal peer socialization. The characteristics he learned were from his siblings who also exhibited unhealthy coping mechanisms, and friends who may not have always been the right ones.

Many who grew up in the 90’s or 2000’s didn’t have the privilege of gentle, educated parenting, politically correct socialization and healthy coping mechanisms. Zack spent a majority of his early years in this societal climate. I bring this up because I think that it is worth noting that not everyone in this world was taught to respect each other. And I think that we need to start taking that into account before we judge bad jokes and ignorant comments.

Unfortunately the sex jokes have been going on for ages. & a majority of them are against women. The media portrayal of dirty, racist, and inappropriate jokes were at an all time high in the 90’s and anyone growing up in that era would surely feel that normalization. I would also like to point out that most of things I am informing to you all, are explanations not excuses. But I think we need to take into account that we are in a generation of shoot now ask questions later and that is harmful for our society. There is no room for redemption and I think that needs to end. The reason we are having all these conversations is to educate people. We must allow that growth and change in one another, I feel it’s imperative to keep our society going.

That being said, a lot of the jokes Zack or Brendon have made over the years are not okay. My only point is that a large chunk of them were normalized for years. People were taught that racist jokes were normal, misogynistic jokes were normal, fat shaming was normal. It’s horrible! Absolutely. Without a doubt. But it was shoved in your face so often that it was just NORMAL. and that is what we’re trying to change. That is what the new generation is trying to make better, as they should. But leave room for change, have forgiveness. Accept sincere apologies. Leave room for growth. It will make us better people even when we are wrong.

What Zack has done for Panic! Fans:

Front of the line meet and greets & gifts: Over the years Zack has brought fans back from the front of the line to meet the band, brought them stuff from the band to the line and taken gifts from fans to give to the band.

Northern Downpour Fan Club: Northern Downpour was a yearly payment of 30$ for exclusive news, meet and greets at every single show, entry to sound check, first in line Etc. Zack is the one that organized this.

Meeting fans in LA: Zack started to post where he would be at a certain time and would say the first person to show up would get exclusive old merch, memorabilia etc.

Fan mail: This is a huge one… not only would Zack bring fan mail back to Brendon from the line ups at shows; he also put together a P.O. Box. For fans to send Brendon fan mail. He would get thousands of letters, art, photos a week to this P.O. Box and Zack would sort through every bin before it even got to Brendon.

Here are some tweets:

I know some of you are going to say “wow he did his job? Good for him” well… no … Zack clearly went above and beyond his job description for fans and for Brendon personally.

PFTW TOUR House of Memories Lounge: Ticketmaster is bullshit, we can all agree to this, yeah? They make their front row seating at arenas so expensive you have to sell and arm and a leg to get them. The top tier VIP package was a tour backstage and the House of Memories lounge which was also set up by Zack FOR fans, so they could have an experience worth the ticket price ticketmaster was selling them. The second VIP package was House of Memories lounge and exclusive merch (similar to Northern Downpour) without the meet and greets. He would also tell people (secretly) to keep their vip lanyards and use them for the next show they were at so they could get more out of their experience.

Here are some photos of the House of Memories lounge. All items were taken out of storage and presented in cases

Death of a Bachelor Tour ‘The Death Walk’ Zack facilitated The Death Walk on DOAB North American Tour. The idea was Brendon’s but Zack and other security guard Sam were the two executing the walk while protecting Brendon. The death walk was a part of the show where Brendon would walk from his piano back to the front of the stage through the crowd to interact with fans (all while *you guessed it* singing his hit song Death of a Bachelor) Zack claims he called this the Death walk because of the song title but I think it’s equally because of how absolutely chaotic it was. Here is a video of Brendon talking about fans being extremely inappropriate during the Death Walk by grabbing him, licking him, touching him, kissing his neck Etc.

Seating upgrades: starting for arena tours , every show, Zack would go through to the back of the crowd into the higher up sections and give out floor tickets to random fans. This is pretty self explanatory, there were extra seats at the front. Another thing he absolutely didn’t have to do, but did for fans.

Kinky Boots Stage Door: in 2017 Brendon took on Broadway by starring as Charlie Price in the hit musical Kinky Boots. Before he would come out to stage door to sign for fans (over a hundred every night would be waiting) Zack would give the run down for safety by not pushing the barricade. He would also tell fans to please not scream at Brendon to try to get his attention when he came out as it triggers Brendon’s anxiety. The same speech every single night to ensure safety and it went well for the most part until the end on a particularly bad night of people pushing the barricade and shouting. You can see Brendon’s tweet announcing the end of stage door below.

The Firing of Kenny Harris: in 2018 right after their first leg of PFTW tour, Kenny Harris (the guitarist at the time) was accused of inappropriate behavior with fans online using Snapchat. There is an article you can read here. Fans made Zack aware via Twitter and Instagram.

Edit for clarification: Many fans were messaging and tweeting Zack the day before the announcement of Kenny’s departure. This is an assumption by me that it was dealt with by Zack because he was generally the one who dealt with everything in regards to fans

There are many more examples of Zack going above and beyond his job description for fans but these are the most prominent ones in my eyes. Now let’s talk about what exactly Zack does for Brendon personally.

Brendon:

Maintenance work on his house

Moving

Grocery shopping

Accompanying him to all events and outings including but not limited to (Award shows, Disneyland, Movies, Restaurants)

Accompanying his wife Sarah for outings as well

Walking his dogs while on tour

Helping production when they were behind

Dealing with Stalkers, crazed fans, internet drama & public image. Any time that something would happen online it would never be Brendon’s manager Scott Nagelberg who dealt with it, it would ALWAYS be Zack. People showing up at their house was dealt with by Zack, fans posting inappropriate and creepy things was dealt with by Zack. This isn’t exactly a part of his job description and would normally be put on their manager, social media manager or publicist. However, that never happened.

Dealing with questions that could just be googled.

Dealing with people being angry at him for doing his job.

Doing extra maintenance work for the band members ei: helping now bassist Nicole Row move into another apartment.

All of this is scratching the surface of what this job really meant to Zack himself. He has vocalized many times that he loves his job, loves helping his friends and is a care taker. It’s not a stretch to assume that he’s learnt a lot over the years about not only how to approach certain situations in a gentle manner, but how to deal with high stress and work overload with ease.

Thank you for reading part 2, part 3 will be about the jokes he’s made, and the allegations from 2020.

Don’t forget to share with people and keep them in the know.

Most information about Zack was taken from his wife Kala Macdonalds podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/0BmaeEllTuSK8DcWD0LXlk?si=Kn0T1phnRLidohuzAaW-2Q

GO TO PART 2 1/2

GO BACK TO THE MASTERLIST

#Brendon Urie #Zack cloud hall #panic! at the disco #Spotify

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s S2 R&S - A Proud Heart

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers from an R&S (骄傲之心) which has not been released in EN! 🍒

Features S2 Gavin

This R&S was released on 3 June 2021

Highly recommended that you read S2 Ch 11 before proceeding!

[ Chapter One ]

After retiring from the STF due to an illness, He Jian Qiu opened a bookstore in a small street that isn’t really lively, and very few customers visit the shop. To him, however, he isn’t relying on this to make money. He simply wants to be at leisure and at ease. 

On this day, he’s reading a book by the window as usual. As though he suddenly spotted something, he stands up violently, brisk walking to the entrance of the shop. After hanging a “On a Break Today” signboard outside, he returns inside.

He leans against a bookshelf in the shadows, furrowing his brows.

He stares fixedly at the wall. Before his eyes, the scene of the street outside the window surfaces, and a man is walking towards the bookstore -

He Jian Qiu has a very unique Evol. Within a designated scope, he’s able to share the sight and hearing of other living organisms. Thanks to this ability, he used to be the “eyes” of the previous generation of STF members. Under his perfect commands, his team members were able to carry out many successful missions.

Even after retiring, he retained this cautiousness.

He Jian Qiu’s eyes are blazing like torches. Everyone in the crowd, birds, and even stray cats can become his eyes as he follows behind this young man.

He recognises this young man. If possible, He Jian Qiu would rather not meet him.

He hopes this young man is simply passing by.

He Jian Qiu makes a quiet prayer in his heart.

Unfortunately, the young man halts directly outside the shop entrance, a gentle breeze brushing the stray hairs in front of his forehead, revealing a pair of resolute amber eyes.

He glances at the signboard hanging outside the door, then knocks on the door lightly, lowering his head slightly as he pulls it open slowly. His footsteps are very light, as though he’s unwilling to disrupt the tranquility belonging to the books. He steps into the shop, but his feet stop at the entrance.

“Captain He, sorry to disturb you.”

The young man calls him by his former term of address. His voice is resolute and steady, leaving the latter feeling slightly resigned.

He Jian Qiu sighs softly in his heart, then steps out from the shadow behind the bookshelf slowly. The young man in front of him brings with him travel-worn weariness. His shoulders are perfectly straight but unable to conceal his fatigue, as though a certain silent darkness is quietly clinging to his surroundings, corroding him beneath the sunlight.

He recognises this young man.

Gavin, who has only recently taken up the post of the new captain of the Special Operations Team, and the youngest Commander in the STF. Such a person has a limitlessly bright future, and his prospects are boundless.

Such a person has no need to appear before a man who has half his feet in a coffin.

“Gav, this is the first time we’re meeting. I’m really happy that you’ve come to greet this retired old man. Do you want something to drink?”

He lowers his head and walks to the counter, picking up a teacup, wanting this meeting to become an idle, amiable chat between a senior and junior.

“Captain He, I’m investigating the ‘New Year’s Eve Change Incident’.”

There is absolutely nothing hidden in his clear and simple words. It shoots him directly, reminiscent of a fatal bullet.

[Note] This incident involved a majority of Evolvers who staged a riot and had to be suppressed. Gavin suspects that there’s more to the incident than what was publicly announced because it’s incredibly difficult to find the people related to it

-

[ Chapter Two ]

The sound of churning tea fills the quiet air. After He Jian Qiu hears Gavin’s words, his face remains unaffected.

He places the poured tea on the counter, the dense steam causing Gavin’s face to turn slightly hazy. “Wasn’t the case concluded four years ago?”

He Jian Qiu retrieves a slightly flattened cigarette box from his pocket. “The military and STF arrested many Evolvers who started the chaos on the spot. I remember that you provided assistance back then. There isn’t anything worth investigating, is there?”

He glances at the teacup which hasn’t been picked up, then hangs a cigarette bud at his mouth, looking at Gavin. “I used new tea leaves I just received from the south to prepare this. Try it.”

Gavin doesn’t move an inch. His gaze sweeps past the teacup, then fixes itself onto He Jian Qiu’s face.

“I met an Evolver who escaped during the New Year’s Change arrest.”

Loud blares from vehicles outside the window barge in, puncturing the peace in the bookstore. Gavin’s expression is calm, without a hint of wavering. “He told me a few things related to what happened back then.”

“And you simply believed him?”

“There are many doubtful points related to this incident.” Gavin doesn’t seem to mind the teasing tone in He Jian Qiu’s voice. He continues, neither servile nor overbearing. “All the materials related to the New Year’s Change Incident, all materials related the location and the criminals who were arrested have all been handed to ‘the other side’. Apart from that, everyone who was involved in the matter were either transferred to another post, went missing, or died. All that’s left in the materials are the words ‘Evolver Riot’.”

“Do you really think these are all just coincidences?”

This question...

He Jian Qiu can’t help but laugh in his heart. Instead of calling this a question, it’s more accurate to call it an interrogation.

Even though he didn’t participate in that operation, he did provide a certain level of assistance behind the scenes due to his unique Evol ability.

“But Captain He should have ‘seen’ something, am I correct?” Gavin’s face is against the light, but his eyes are especially bright. “Otherwise, I should have had the opportunity... to become a team member under Captain He.”

Gavin’s words almost make He Jian Qiu choke on the cigarette bud in his mouth. He can't help but chuckle aloud, taking a more careful look at this young man’s face.

Persistent, resolute, unwavering, unconceited, but the words he speaks are exact and deadly.

While appreciating this, he sighs in his heart. “You think too much.”

He Jian Qiu picks up the teacup Gavin has yet to touch. The steam has dispersed since a long time ago, and only a faint warmth is left. “It’s very normal for young people to go on a wild goose chase, but you have to know when to turn back when it’s appropriate to do so. The New Year’s Change Incident is a concluded case. Everyone has accepted this truth as of today, and there’s no need to continue investigating further.”

“NW is keeping watch on me.” Gavin’s voice is slightly gloomy. “If there aren’t any issues with the case, they wouldn’t need to do that.”

“Since they’re merely keeping watch on you, it means they trust that you wouldn’t be able to find anything.”

Hearing He Jian Qiu’s agile response, Gavin is silent. He watches him quietly, as though still perplexed about something. He Jian Qiu lights another cigarette, looking out of the window and at the magnificent sunlight. “You’ve met Old Yan, haven’t you.”

[Note] Officer Yan was introduced in S2 Ch 11. He's an ex-police officer who was involved in the New Year’s Change incident. At present, many people are hunting him down, either to find the truth or to silence him for good. He managed to meet Gavin once, resulting in his motivation to investigate the matter

In that instant, Gavin’s expression slackens for a moment, and his body quivers involuntarily.

“Do I need to be clearer? Officer Yan - the old police officer who has been investigating the New Year’s Change Incident. His left arm is gone. You claim outwardly that you haven’t found him, but you’ve actually already met him. After meeting him, you heard about what happened during the New Year’s Change Incident and Old Yan’s conjectures. You were swayed because of that, and went to look for your ‘female friend’...”

“That’s enough.”

Gavin suddenly speaks, interrupting He Jian Qiu’s words. His hands subconsciously clench into fists, and He Jian Qiu simply puffs out some smoke calmly.

"There are no airtight walls in this world. You still have many opportunities and many futures. There’s no need to waste your time on this matter. Old Yan’s job is gone, his arm is gone, his family is gone, his lover is gone.”

“There’s no need to become like that too.”

As though dealing a final judgment, the air in the surroundings is as quiet as death.

In the end, He Jian Qiu hears Gavin’s soft question. “Is that how you persuaded yourself?”

-

[ Chapter Three ]

He Jian Qiu knows what that young fellow Gavin meant.

A day after Gavin left the bookstore, an unknown number flashes on his phone screen.

“Old He, how have you been?”

The voice which hadn’t appeared in a very long time unexpectedly and lightly tugs at certain memories which he intended to toss to the back of his mind.

He Jian Qiu swallows, the subtle sound in his throat secretly betraying his current anxiety.

“Why are you nervous?” The person at the other end of the line laughs. “I’m just asking about how business is at that bookstore of yours.”

“You didn’t meet anyone inappropriate, did you?”

He Jian Qiu blinks lightly. “Yesterday, that new captain from STF dropped by. Gavin - you know him, don’t you? He said he wanted to learn from my experience, but you should also know that I have nothing to teach him.”

“My eyes aren’t doing that well either. So we just drank some tea, and he left. But that young man is pretty good. You can tell he’s capable just by looking at him.”

“He’s pretty good.”

The voice at the other end of the line is light, as though this call is nothing more than an ordinary exchange of pleasantries.

After hanging up, He Jian Qiu pretends to continue reading his book calmly, but not single word goes in. He tosses the book onto the table roughly, shutting his eyes.

Gavin’s investigation in the New Year’s Change Incident is far deeper than what he imagined.

When Old Yan became a fugitive back then, his eyesight became progressively poorer. He used this to falsely claim that his Evol was affected, and he fled from the STF. After all, whether good or bad, he had seen too many things.

He Jian Chu’s gaze leaps from countless eyes in the city, and he very quickly finds Gavin. There’s a “tail” following behind him, but he’s unwilling to give up, continuing to seek intelligence from informants in the grey areas.

However, Gavin doesn’t seem to meet Old Yan again. They probably have a special mode of communication, which is very smart.

Over the subsequent days, He Jian Qiu continues following after Gavin’s tracks.

He has been looking for several officers who participated in the New Year’s Change Incident. He Jian Qiu is very familiar with that group of people. Most of them genuinely have no idea about it, and were simply following orders. They wouldn’t know of any inside information.

But Gavin persistently inquired about any strange points during the operation. Some of them cooperated, but some...

Through the eyes of a sparrow on an electric pole, He Jian Qiu watches as Gavin is asked to leave a house. The family member’s face is furious. Gavin simply lowers his head, bowing in a polite manner.

Quite a number of team members lost their lives during that operation. To their family, this was a tragic matter which was conferred honour. They gave up their lives to maintain the safety and peace of society, and protecting the dignity of STF. Even though Gavin understands this, the process of investigation will always make one feel a slight knot in one’s heart.

With the cold sound of the door shutting, Gavin stands in place quietly, the sunlight above his head brilliant yet harsh, casting his shadow beneath his feet. It’s as though there isn’t a single trace of darkness hidden in the entire world.

After a very long time, Gavin lifts his head, then turns around to leave.

After several days of interviews, Gavin is unable to find any useful leads or information. He Jian Qiu watches as he walks on the main street slowly, passers-by facing him and walking in the opposite direction.

He’s walking down the old road that Old Yan had taken, walking in the direction contrary to everyone else.

He Jian Qiu retracts his ability, then looks out of the window. He wonders why Old Yan would take the risk to meet him, but he hopes that these unsuccessful days would enable Gavin to understand clearly that putting the New Year’s Change Incident aside isn’t a bad thing for him.

After all, he still has a future. 

-

[ Chapter Four ]

Gavin’s investigation continues.

When faced with such people who are unwilling to give up, He Jian Qiu can’t help but release a fierce sigh.

He believes that Gavin clearly understands the degree of danger in investigating the New Year’s Change Incident. Worried that they would get silenced for getting involved in this matter, the informants he had contacted before retracted their actions before crossing the danger line.

Nobody wants to die, especially not due to supplying information. They are slicker than anyone else.

With regard to this, Gavin understands.

This is why he doesn’t insist on too much. Once he has given these people remuneration, he continues with the investigation alone.

He returns to the very place where the riot started back then - an old and slightly dilapidated street in the suburbs of Loveland City.

Back then, Evolvers were not in an optimistic situation. People were filled with fear and bias against them. As such, Evolvers either concealed their abilities and hid amongst the crowd, pretending to be ordinary people, or search for other Evolvers, and collectively form a place with only Evolvers. 

These few streets were one of the places where activities would be held for only Evolvers. Nobody knew what they gathered here to do. When news eventually spread to civilians, it became the starting ground for the “Evolver Riot”.

Gavin leaps over the sealed wire meshes, heading deeper down the street. The place had already been burnt into a vast expanse of white, fragments of broken tiles and tattered clothes lying on the scorched ground. From time to time, the terrifying sound of rats nibbling on food drifts in the quiet surroundings.

Gavin doesn’t halt in his footsteps, which surprises He Jian Qiu.

Could it be that he discovered something?

Just as He Jian Qiu suspects that he has seen something, Gavin suddenly takes action. He ducks into a blindspot near a building, instantly firing a shot in a certain direction behind him.

The sudden attack causes the person behind Gavin to panic. In an instant, a fierce wind rises. The man is rolled into the wind, and is then lifted into the air in the next second.

The other party is likely well-trained. He immediately adjusts his centre of gravity in the air, bringing the gun in his hand to his chest.

- it’s just that Gavin’s even faster.

Gavin’s bullet strikes the palm of the other party accurately. When he falls to the ground, Gavin gives him a steady punch. Gavin doesn’t give the other party a moment to breathe, striking his joints with every move. In just a few strikes, the other party is left unconscious.

His movements are clean and smooth, and done in one swift motion.

Just as He Jian Qiu thinks that Gavin would do something after handling this “tail”, Gavin lifts his head, meeting the eyes of a crow, and meeting the eyes of He Jian Qiu.

“Captain He.” Gavin speaks mildly. “There aren’t any other surveillance cameras here.”

He Jian Qiu sighs, then takes out a new phone card from his drawer, pressing on a series of numbers.

“You beat him up just like that?”

“I simply realised that someone was following me, and acted in self-defence.” Gavin narrows his eyes, which are filled with a wilful sharpness. “But I forgot to ask who he was.”

Seeing Gavin before him, He Jian Qiu truly admires him.

He’s capable, skilled, and able to make judgements. He can have a great future, and doesn’t have to be like Old Yan - nesting in darkness like a mouse, searching for an abstract justice and truth, remaining nameless till death.

There’s no need to.

He Jian Qiu has a nameless fire in his heart. That pair of resolute and unstained amber eyes render him incomparably restless. “Must you really get involved in this trifling matter? Do you think you’re really just, and want to be a hero?”

“I’ll tell you this - I’ve seen many just people. Some of them talk about ‘justice’ and ‘protection’, but end up doing somewhat inhumane things.”

“Right now, aren’t many people looking for CORE? Can’t you investigate that instead? Look at the future of this world. Why make a special effort for a group of dead people?”

“If a person is unable to face the past properly, he can’t move forward.” Gavin’s words are very soft, but are incomparably resolute.

“If someone has to search for the truth, that person could be me.”

-

[ Chapter Five ]

In the end, He Jian Qiu guides Gavin in evading various modes of surveillance and gazes, and returns to his bookstore.

“You seemed to be interviewing the officers who were involved in that operation and the family members of the Evolvers. But in actual fact, that wasn’t the case, was it?” He lights a cigarette bud, but his eyes are not on Gavin.

Gavin arches his brows, lifting the corners of his lips. “Captain He, does this question mean you want to help me?”

“You rascal. Don’t speak nonsense.”

He Jian Qiu says this quickly, but he knows that the balance in his heart is tilting slowly.

He pours a cup of tea for Gavin, and there’s a drizzle outside the window.

“Back then, I was sent from the police academy to assist, so I was just there as an outsider to control a few absconding Evolvers. The only thing I did back then was to carry out orders.”

Amid the soft sound of light rain, He Jian Qiu listens quietly to Gavin as he relates every moment of his assistance in the New Year’s Change Incident.

“I heard afterwards that the family of a rioter came to the STF, and said their child couldn’t have done such a thing. But in the end, there was nothing definite. Only after I joined the STF, and only after I saw even more people, I realised that the New Year’s Change Incident might not tally with that was announced publicly.” 

“Perhaps many people knew about it, but no one really wanted to do anything.”

“Many people died, but they didn’t have to meet such an ending - dying while shouldering the name of a rioter.” Gavin looks at the steam rising from the cup. “I visited the home of one of the Evolvers who died. His mother committed suicide after finding out that her son participated in the riot. The old man who was left behind was discriminated by the masses, and was chased out of his rented house. I heard that he eventually went insane.”

“Captain He, should they have such endings?”

He Jian Qiu is suddenly left speechless.

Of course he knows. He’s able to see. In fact, he's able to see more things than ordinary people.

Being involved in this matter would lead to even more unseen dangers. Agony, objection, and even hopelessness, and walking in the opposite direction as everyone else.

He can’t help but smile. In Gavin, he sees what he once saw in Old Yan, and perhaps there are even more things he has yet to see.

He knows why Old Yan chose him. Even though he really hopes for Gavin to walk beneath the sunlight, he stretches out his hand.

“You lost.”

A sound drifts from behind the door. A man peeks his head from behind a bookshelf, and Gavin is dumbfounded when he sees the new arrival.

“Officer Yan...?!” He shoots a glance at He Jian Qing, reacting immediately. “The reason why Officer Yan could evade them...”

He Jian Qiu doesn’t say anything, and simply smiles while raising his hands, indicating a surrender.

Gavin looks at Old Yan. “Was Officer Yan testing me the other time?”

“Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been able to live this long.” Old Yan simply arches his brows, lighting a cigarette. “Now, you truly have no way of turning back.”

“I’ve never thought of turning back.”

He Jian Qiu looks at the young man before him. Amid the dense light, he’s forthright and persistent, as though nothing can defeat him, nor can anything taint him.

“Come. Let’s head somewhere else.”

He stands up, pushing both Gavin and Old Yan into a dark room within the bookshop.

Their figures cross over the dividing line between light and shadows, fading into the darkness slowly, though they seem to be emitting light. 

💙 More S2 content: here

💙 Support the cafe by dropping by the tip jar!

#mlqc #mlqc cn #mlqc spoilers #mlqc gavin

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

Chapter Seven. 

a/n: hello! this is the last chapter of book 1! thank you for the few who had read and left me nice messages and feedback, i truly appreciate it with all my heart. the next chapter will be posted in two weeks from now. also, please please please reblog and leave feedback for the content you’re consuming for free; it truly helps motivate content creators to keep posting. for now, enjoy this chapter <3 

SERIES MASTERLIST | word count: 17.7k 

warnings: sexual content, panic attack, and mentions of drug use (from minor character) 

come talk to me about WTSGD! i’d love to know your thoughts! 

June 2, 2018 

Hot grainy sand seeped in between the crevices of their toes as they ran around, chasing one another while the hot sun shined brightly on their backs. An in sync laughter erupted through them as Luci had jumped on Harry, causing him to fall back on the sand. 

They were a picture-perfect moment, simply consumed by one another that envisioning life without the other was pure torture. 

June was the last month of her break before she was off to Singapore to film for Crazy Rich Asians. Throughout the entire month of May, she was booked between rehearsing with her acting coach and auditioning for this role. The entire process didn’t take as long as Ocean’s Eight since they’d given her the role within a week and a half of just auditioning for it. She was entirely surprised at how quick it was to make that decision, but Samantha had told her that her talent had gone a long way and they wanted her. Luci was absolutely thrilled, and she was at a place where she didn’t feel pressured or overwhelmed with the workload. Thea and Samantha were gems to work with; they both made sure and asked several times if she wanted to take on another project right after finishing her first one, and Luci realized why shouldn’t she? Opportunities aren’t usually thrown at her this fast, so she took the chance and landed the role. 

However, taking on another role just meant she’d have to leave again, meaning she’d have to be apart from Harry. Luci, in a way, would call herself selfless to where she would give up her dream if her loved one asked her to; but she had the tendency to make impulsive decisions without consulting everyone that was going to be affected by her long but temporary absence. Such as Harry and her family. Her family, as she knew, would tell her to go for it and that she shouldn’t worry about them when she had another opportunity lined up for her. As for Harry, she hadn’t thought about the fact that they were going to be apart for another four or five months. She didn’t think about the fact that she was spending the majority of their relationship apart from him and in different time zones. She didn’t think about him when she immediately said yes to taking on another project. 

The anxiety had crept up on her when she told Harry the news, and just like the supportive boyfriend that he was, he was absolutely thrilled and excited for her. She hadn’t matched his excitement, and that was when he knew something was wrong. 

“Talk to me, Ci.” He rubbed her back comfortingly. 

“We’re gonna be apart again,” she said sadly. “I don’t wanna do this.” 

Harry took a deep breath. “Don’t wanna do…us?” 

“No. I don’t wanna work if we’re going to be apart. I wanna stay with you.” Her eyes were filled with tears. Her voice was heavy as she felt like her throat was closing in on her. Harry saw and felt the ache she had felt in her heart. And all the same, it broke his heart. 

“You have to do this job.” Luci looked at him with sad eyes, half hoping he wouldn’t have said that. 

“But…” 

“My love, do you realize what this could mean? That movie is going to be huge. Just imagine all the people you’d work with if you took on this role. Your name is going to spread like wildfire after that!” His tone was hopeful and supportive, everything she could ever want in a partner. “Please tell me you won’t quit this job. Your dreams are finally coming true, why stop now?”

“Because I wanna be with you.” 

“You are with me! I appreciate you wanting to be with me because trust me, I really want you by my side all the time, but don’t worry about me, okay? You’re not going to lose me.” He shook his head, looking so deeply into Luci’s eyes as if he were engraving his words into her mind. 

All she did was nod, not trusting her voice to mutter out a response. She trusted Harry wholeheartedly, with her entire life. Later that evening, she told Thea that she was one hundred percent committed to the movie. 

They had about three weeks to spend as much time together before Luci had to leave again. Aside from Harry finishing up the school year and Luci having meetings every other day with her managers and some of the producers from the film to sign off on some contracts, they’d managed to make ends work. They made sure to make up for some lost time from when Luci was still filming for her first movie; they spent mornings sleeping in until one would wake up and tease the other, which would result into having a lazy and sleepy morning sex; they went on countless dates, and truly gotten to know one another without any distractions. 

Harry insisted on going to Coney Island Beach, which Luci was always up for. Luckily, no one recognized her, interrupting their perfect day together. They spent the day hand-in-hand, chasing one another into the water, and laughing until their stomachs ached. After a tiring moment of running around and being goofy, they settled onto their beach mat as their chests heaved up and down. Water droplets rested against the ends of Harry’s hair as he looked at Luci, who was wiping off the sand that had stuck to her thighs as she was completely unaware of his stare. 

“Tell me about your earliest memory.” Harry requested. 

Luci smiled at the thought. “I was four-years-old. My family and I went to Mexico for the summer. We’d gone all over the country before so I have bits and pieces of all the cities we’d gone to.” Harry listened as she talked about her childhood memory. “I remember all of the kids clubs that our parents checked me and Nathan into. There was this one kids club in Cancun where it was The Flintstones themed, and we got to paint shirts with Bamm-Bamm on it—I still have that shirt till this day.” Luci reminisced on the recollection of the summer during her younger years. 

Harry’s eyes widened. “Really? That shirt is, like, twenty-two-years-old now.” 

“I know!” Luci laughed; a sound that was glorious to his ears. “I just can’t get rid of it. It’s really the only thing I physically have from my childhood besides all of the video tapes my dad took of us during that trip.” She sighed, reliving those moments in her head. “What was your earliest memory?” 

“I was probably about five-years-old, but I remember my mum and dad got us a dog. We named her Bunny; although I think I named her myself because I was attached to her the moment we got her.” Harry smiled, and Luci giggled as she imagined little Harry meeting his dog for the first time. “She was a golden retriever, and was always the happiest. When we’d get home from school, Bunny would always be waiting by the door, and would follow me around the house everywhere; sit next to me while I was eating at the table, laid her head on my leg when I was watching TV, and would sometimes sleep with me—I’d just have to sneak her into my room because my parents didn’t allow it. We had to put her down, though, because she had some kind of infection. She lived a very good life. I hope she didn’t complain.” 

Luci fondly smiled at him. She loved learning about tiny but significant pieces of Harry’s life, and it just made her love him even more than she already did. Love? The thought momentarily and internally freaked her out, but then she realized that those thoughts were correct. She loved Harry. 

He was thinking the exact same thing she was, as if their minds were linked in a special way that they could only convey. Curling his lips in, he felt his heartbeat pick up into an erratic pace that he felt like it was about to burst from just looking at her. His stomach fluttered with butterflies, erupting into a cave of monarchs, suddenly feeling nervous. He blushed, fidgeting with his ringless fingers that felt dry from the grainy hot sand. 

Was this what it felt like? He pondered in his head. He’d never felt like this before, never felt this feeling with his past partners. And he knew the difference quite well because when he looked back at his previous relationships, he saw a time frame that only fit into a certain moment in his life. But looking at Luci right now, he saw the entire world. The sun shined brighter when he thought about her. His every sated thought was consumed with her, and that thought scared him, but it was thrilling and exhilarating, leaving him wanting more. 

“Luci.” 

She looked up, flashing him her smile that he’d fallen for over and over again. “Yeah?” 

Taking a deep breath, he spit out fire, “I love you. I think I have for a while now,” and made the spark ignite in her stomach.

Her eyes widened, speechless. And that was when Harry thought he completely messed everything up and ruined their domestic and happy routine. That was until she said, “I love you too, Harry. You make my heart beat ten times faster.” 

“Really?” A sheepish smile landed on his face, and Luci thought he was the most adorable person she’d ever met. 

Nodding, she scooted closer to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Really.” 

“You make me so, so happy.”

Just as they shared a loving and tender kiss under the sun, momentarily, all their worries went away. 

When it was time for Harry to say goodbye to her, it never really got easier watching Luci leave. By the end of their paradise break where they’d spent days and weeks together nonstop, he had dropped her off at the airport and watched as she stepped onto the escalator on her way to TSA. The entire scenery and feeling felt somewhat familiar to him, but he still felt pain in his chest every time he had to go back home without her, where she wouldn’t be across the hall from him. It was like watching her leave for the first time all over again, as if his mind hadn’t quite grasped at the concept of being alone for another few months again after spending a few weeks together. 

He only hoped it would get easier. 

Luci had erupted a light inside of him that he’d never known was there before. He had spent years of being in the dark, years of not knowing where to go because that certain light wasn’t guiding him. But the darkness seemed to fade away ever since he’d met her. That beautiful smile of hers was the sun that seeped through the windows in the early morning. But when the source and power for that certain light was gone for months, miles away, then all electrical power goes out too. 

Harry carelessly threw his phone on the bed, masking the urge to scream into agony. He pulled at his hair, inhaling and exhaling through his nose to keep him calm. His anxiety was bubbling up, and he felt his hands shake. 

It had been a long week for him, and it started from Monday as it carried on to Saturday. On Monday morning, he was late for work; he slept through all three of his alarms that he’d set up the night prior, making sure they were at a decent volume. He woke up an hour later, rushing to get dressed for the day. As he was brushing his teeth, he spilled toothpaste on his white shirt as if he wasn’t late already, he had to change again. 

Tuesday through Thursday were a mess for him; he wasn’t his usual self and he felt very off. It had gone to the point where his students had noticed and asked him if he was okay right as they were leaving for lunch. Of course, he told them that he was fine, but as soon as they left, he spent his lunch time crying, not getting a chance to eat his food. 

On top of the horrible week, he hated giving quizzes on Fridays, but he had to anyway because after every story his class finished, there was a quiz—it just so happened to be on a Friday. As he was packing up, getting ready to leave, he made sure the quizzes were nice and stacked before he put it into his messenger bag, but the unfortunate perfect timing had occurred and his coffee spilled all over the papers, leaving a brown, wet stain on more than half of the quizzes. He wanted to quit right there, on the spot before he let his students retake the quiz all over again. He did his best keeping his composure until he got home, slamming the door and completely dropping all of his belongings on the ground, not caring about the mess.

Harry didn’t know what caused him to have such an off-putting mood, but the thought of missing a certain someone had lingered in his mind, screaming at him to conclude his breakdown. 

All he wanted was to see her, talk to her, hug her—but she was miles away. 

Luci had been hopping from country to country in Asia, filming and working for two months already; and within those months, she had only contacted him five times. Despite being together for seven months, he didn’t want to constantly text her, asking for her attention because he didn’t want to think he was needy. But this time, he really needed to talk to her. 

Grabbing his phone that he threw on his bed, he dialed her number. He heard the phone ring once, twice, and a third time before he’d lost all hope that she wasn’t going to pick up. But then, the ringing stopped, followed by a soft: “Hello?” 

Hearing her voice after a couple months made Harry let out a sigh of relief but was soon trailed with a few tears. Luci heard sniffles and soft cries, and she felt an immense amount of guilt in her chest. 

“Harry? Baby? Are you okay?” The sound of his name on the phone didn’t do her beautiful voice justice. “H, you’re scaring me.” She sat up on her bed, way too big for just one person. The white and soft sheet surrounded her, and every time she woke up and fell asleep, she thought about Harry and wished to get lost and tangled within these sheets with him. 

He sniffled, leading into a deep breath. “Sorry, I know it’s early over there-”

“No, no. Don’t be sorry. Are you okay, my love?” She asked concerningly. 

“I-I don’t know. I’m just so overwhelmed and…” she heard him start to breathe heavily, and she only wished she was right across the hall from him to take him in her arms. 

“Harry,” she interrupted. “I’m going to need you to breathe for me, okay? Slow and big inhales and exhales. Breathe with me.” Harry nodded, even though she couldn’t see him. He took a seat in front of the bed on the floor, propping his knees up so he could place his elbows on them as he leaned his head down in between his arms, making a small cave as he protected himself from any more overwhelming emotions and thoughts. 

For the next minute or two, they breathed together on the phone, and it calmed down hearing her breath deeply. Luci held it together, not wanting to break when she was the one that was supposed to calm him down. 

“Are you ready to talk about it?” 

Harry gulped, closing his eyes before he told her about his week. He hadn’t talked to her for the entire week, so he didn’t spare any detail on his messy and awful week. Luci listened intently, not wanting to give her attention away from him even for a moment; she pressed the phone against her ear as she laid on her side, cuddling into her pillow and blanket as she pretended Harry was right next to her. Luckily, her call time was at ten a.m, so she had a good three hours to talk to him. 

“I just don’t know what I’m going to do about these quizzes.” 

“Hmm, let’s see. Like, all of them are ruined?” 

“Pretty much.” 

“Well, you could be honest with them. I’m sure some of them hadn’t read the material, so they might’ve not done so well. So, you could tell them that they were ruined, and just give them a chance to catch up on their readings and study the material.” She advised. “I mean, it’s a quiz—it shouldn’t interfere too much with the teaching and schedule and all the grading, right?”

“Not really…” he answered, thinking about her suggestion, and it was a really great suggestion, might he add. “Yeah, I think I’ll do that. I’d feel absolutely horrible if I made them retake it. I didn’t even want to schedule a quiz on Friday anyways.” 

“And that’s what makes you a great teacher,” she said genuinely. 

“Thank you, Ci. And thank you for answering, I know things are hectic and our schedules don’t line up. 

Plus the time-zones…” 

Luci felt her heart sink, a frown etched on her face. She knew she wasn’t texting or trying to call him, and that’s where the guilt crept in. In a way, she felt like she wanted space, like she didn’t want to consistently check up on someone back home. But the more she thought about it, the more she felt terrible because she knew that Harry’s added stress was because she hadn’t spoken to him in a week. She ignored all of the incoming text messages, leaving them unanswered while being in a country she’d never been to before. 

Her anxiety was also acting up because of how exhausted she was from flying from one place to another and the jetlag she endured. To add to her exhaustion, she was also overwhelmed with work, causing her to curl into a ball and ignore the rest of the world whenever she got some downtime. 

“You shouldn’t have to thank me for answering, Harry. I-I’m sorry I haven’t been talking to you. I’ve just been swamped with work and being tired all the time, and the last thing I wanted to do was talk to you—it’s horrible, I know. Like, I genuinely hate myself for not wanting to, especially with how far apart we are,” she admitted. Harry couldn’t help but feel his heart crack a bit; he hadn’t expected her to feel or say that. He assumed that the time apart had left her itching to see him, just as much as he wanted to see her. 

After a few seconds of silence, Harry was unable to put together the exact words he wanted to say because he was so thrown off by what she’d said. 

“Harry, I’m sorry if I upset you. You have every right to be angry with me.” 

He took a deep breath, shaking his head lightly. “I’m not angry. A bit hurt? Yeah. But I can’t control how you feel, and you can’t control how you feel either. Don’t feel obligated to speak to me, I know you’re busy and all…” His tone wasn’t enthusiastic, but could anyone blame him? His girlfriend just told him that she didn’t feel like talking to him for the entire week, maybe the entire time she was gone. 

The switch-up was inevitable. This past week, Luci wanted space and Harry unspokenly gave her that space by not wanting to appear as clingy, but just when she’d disappointed and upset him, all she wanted was to be in the same room he was in, holding him tight. 

“Anyways, you should get going.” Luci’s brows furrowed as she looked at the digital clock on the bedside table, reading 8:23 a.m.. “I’ll talk to you, uh, soon.” 

And this time, when he unspokenly asked for space, she had given it to him. 

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later.” A small pout landed on her mouth. For a moment, neither of them wanted to hang up, not wanting to leave this conversation with such an awkward-filled tension that won’t be able to be fixed until later on. “Harry?” Luci spoke up right before he was about to hang up. 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you.” She held her breath. 

“I love you too, Ci. I’ll see you soon.” Harry hung up the phone as Luci let out the air she was holding in, but she still felt weight on her shoulders. 

He was glad that he was able to talk to Luci and that she was able to calm him down with her soothing and soft voice; but that night, he still went to bed with a heavy heart, surrounded by the scent of her on his pillows that she’d left behind. 

November 1, 2018 

Harry was waiting by baggage claim, waiting for Luci with her favorite bouquet of flowers in his hands. His hands gripped the stems of the flowers, wrinkling the brown paper as he contained the shakiness. 

It had been a little over four months since he last saw Luci, and nervous was an understatement. He thought that after the weird and awkward talk in August, things wouldn’t be the same and they were going to end things. But Luci was trying—they both were. She ended up talking to him and calling him any chance that she got, which wasn’t much, but it meant everything to Harry that she was trying. Plus, a little space never really did any harm. 

His foot tapped against the polished floor, making a random beat with his boot. People brushed past him, reunited with their loved ones and friends they hadn’t seen in x amount of days; and when he saw the burgundy colored luggage with a black name tag tied around the handle, he knew she was home. 

Appearing in slow motion, their eyes met and it felt like they’d been stunned by an electrifying force that compelled them together. Duplicate smiles were spread on their faces, never leaving sight of one another as they tried getting through the crowd of people who were exiting from the international gate. Once they were close enough, Luci held out her arms while Harry met her in the middle, wrapping his strong arms around her waist, hugging her tightly. Luci held him firmly, hands going straight to the bottom of his head as her fingers gently scratched the curls that delicately rested on the back of his neck. 

She felt hot kisses on her neck and a happy smile against her shoulder that it felt like he was tattooing it onto her skin. Luci began to pull away, kissing along the side of his neck and to his lips, taking in and savoring the feel of his soft and pink lips. 

They simply didn’t care that they were in the middle of the airport, in the middle of baggage claim where everyone could see them because who cared? They weren’t going to see these people tomorrow nor were they going to remember their faces, so they greeted each other in a long and soft kiss where they smiled against one another and held each other tight. 

Pulling away, they both giggled before Harry handed her the bouquet of flowers that made her swoon. 

“Welcome home, baby.” He pecked her lips once more. 

She smelled the flowers, smiling into them as if she were a bee collecting pollen before she wrapped one arm around his neck, pulling him in for another tight hug as she planted a big kiss on his cheek, making him blush. 

“I’m home,” Luci said once she pulled away. “Now, please, take me home.” She chuckled, dramatically sighing exhaustively as if she was going to sleep immediately when they got home. 

Harry wrapped his arm around her shoulder, pulling her into his side before he led her to the parking garage. 

“Let’s go home. New York misses you a lot.” 

After a long ride back to Brooklyn, their lips immediately connected right when they entered Luci’s apartment while Harry kicked the door closed with his foot, extending his arm back to make sure it was locked. She quickly but gently set the flowers on the counter, so she could put them into a vase later since she had more important matters on her hands. 

As Luci was walking backwards, kissing Harry, he led her to her bedroom. She pulled away, walking past him as she headed for the bathroom before turning back around, facing him.

“What are you doing?” He asked breathlessly. 

Luci swiftly removed her sweater, revealing an olive green sports bra. She then pulled her leggings down, kicking them off as she exposed her black cotton panties to him. Taking off her sports bra, she never disconnected eye contact with Harry, driving him wild as he started to grow in his pants. He brought his fingers up to his bottom lip, pinching it in between his fingers as she slowly slid off her underwear. She was completely bare in front of him, her clothes at her feet; Harry inhaled sharply at the sight of her naked, and Luci smirked at his reaction. 

“I’m going in for a shower. Wanna wash off hours being on a plane.” She headed into the restroom without another word, leaving Harry standing stunned in the middle of the hallway. 

“Does that include me too?” Harry called out. 

She chuckled. “Hell yeah, baby. Get in here.” Her voice echoed from the bathroom as she started the shower. Harry rushed, taking off his clothes as the bathroom started to steam up from the temperature of the water. 

When he opened the glass door, her back was facing the entrance of the shower as she tilted her head back, allowing the hot water to stream down the valleys and crevices of her body. Harry’s mouth was ajar, cock twitching as he watched her. He closed the door behind him as he stepped into the shower, wrapping his arm around her waist and catching her by surprise as she let out a squeal. 

Her back was pressed against his chest, hands roaming around her wet body as he squeezed her breasts. Harry pressed a soft kiss against her shoulder as part of his head was getting wet. Turning them around, the water streams hit his back as he continued to kiss along his neck and shoulder, biting down at her skin. She let out a soft moan at the feel of his lips, extending her arm backwards so her hand was placed on the back of his head. 

“Missed you,” she whispered, resting her head on his shoulder, exposing her entire neck. Harry couldn’t pass up the offer to wrap his hand around her neck, squeezing lightly as she slightly moaned. 

“Mm, missed you so much more.” Luci turned her head to meet his lips, and she already knew she was going to get a stiff neck later on, but she didn’t care; she wanted to kiss him for as long as possible. His hands trailed down to her clit, making her gasp in his mouth as he started to rub the bud softly, circling his fingers around just like he knew she liked it. 

The bathroom was filled with the sounds of heavy breathing, lips kissing, and the shower stream that was hitting their bodies and steaming the air, adding to their passionate tension from when they first were wrapped up around each other. 

Harry pulled away, pushing her against the wall while he kissed her shoulder once more, and Luci loved it every time he did that; it was a sweet and simple gesture, but it had complete control to get her riled up. He trailed his kisses along her back, kissing down her spine before he stopped at the top of her ass, biting down gently; Luci held the tiled wall in front of her for stability. Harry slowly licked the flesh of her ass, making his way inwards to her core. His tongue teased and rimmed her hole, making her pulse. 

“Harry…” she called out, and he playfully answered ‘yes’ as if he didn’t know what he was doing. She rolled her eyes, gripping the back of his head. “Don’t tease.” 

“Alright, alright. Only because I’ve missed you so much and have been dying to taste you again.” He kissed her ass once more before he leaned his head down to lick up from her clit to her wet hole. He sat on his knees, not caring if his knees would ache. 

He sucked and licked her clit before inserting a finger into her entrance. The sensation made Luci moan loud; her grasp on his hair tightened as if she was trying to pull the strands out. 

“Fuck, baby,” she whined, throwing her head back as she closed her eyes. 

Unexpectedly, Harry licked at her tighter and puckered hole, testing if she liked it or not; and he received a moan of ‘yes’ in return, so he continued licking her everywhere before her breath was staggered and she came on his tongue. Harry held her body tightly so she would slip from the water rushing on them. 

He slowly turned her around, kissing her lips in a heated passion that could only be received from her. Once Luci regained momentum, she took his cock in her hand, slowly pumping as he rested his forehead against hers, hands on both sides of her cheeks as he breathed heavily. Her other hand fondled his balls, rolling them in her hand, and it was his turn to throw his head back. 

As Luci stroked him, she kissed his chest, leaving a few hickies to his collarbones. 

“You’re so fuckin’ good, holy shit.” She watched his every reaction; watched him bite his lip into agony, eyes shut closed, and hips unconsciously bucking into her hand. “Don’t wanna come right now.” 

The main event was just a slip away, so she let go of him, and he’d already missed the feel of her around him. He connected their lips together; Harry bit her bottom lip as he slightly pulled at him, driving her crazy. 

“Fuck me, please,” she pleaded, wrapping her arms around his neck, pulling him the closest he could get as she lifted one leg up, using her leg strength to rest it beside his hip. His cock rested against her stomach, occasionally twitching from the slightest friction it was getting from her skin. 

He smirked. “Are you begging?” 

She playfully rolled her eyes. “Yeah, I’m begging. So what? I want you to fuck me now,” she said sternly. 

“Okay. Wait, need to get a condom-” 

She pulled him back. “I've had an IUD for a few years now, and we’re not sleeping with anyone else, right?” She asked teasingly, and he shook his head. “Good because I wanna feel you bare. Need to feel you.” 

“Fuck me,” he muttered under his breath. He grabbed a hold of himself, pumping slowly as he gripped the back of her thigh that propped against his hip. Running the tip against her slit, he collected her arousal and orgasm, making her shiver before he slowly slipped himself into her entrance. 

Their mouths were wide open once he was fully in. The feel of each other as they were completely bare and raw was an unbelievable feeling that neither of them could decipher. 

“So fuckin’ tight.” He was breathless as she squeezed around him, waiting for her to adjust to his size. She muttered a ‘please,’ and Harry started to thrust quicker. Her soft and wet walls hugged him tightly, making him groan louder as he leaned his forehead against her collarbones. Luci’s fingers raked the back of his shoulders 

“God, H, you feel so good.” Her head hit the wall behind her, and Harry pulled his head out of her chest. 

“Yeah? Tell me how good it feels,” he demanded. Despite having her eyes closed, she could practically see the smirk that landed on his face at the mention of how good he was making her feel. “Tell me, Ci. Look at me and tell me.” 

Her eyes fluttered open, meeting his dark jaded eyes. “So good. Could feel you everywhere.” Her words came out in between her breaths, moans, and Harry’s thrusts. 

He kissed her. “Tell me more. Tell me everything” 

“I’ve missed you inside of me. Thought about you everyday. I would touch myself before I went to bed, and it didn’t help.” 

Harry gripped her thigh hard, sure there were going to be bruises forming tomorrow. “Why didn’t it help?” He asked, picking up his pace. 

Luci inhaled sharply as she cried out. “Because no one could make me feel good. No one but you.” 

“Hmm, that’s right, baby. Only me. Such a good girl.” The tip of his cock brushed against her special spot, and she rolled her eyes back in ecstasy. He repeatedly hit that spot, linking his hands behind her neck for leverage. 

“Yes, yes, yes.” Her brows furrowed, biting her lip. Harry leaned down to suck and kick her tits, and Luci felt him slap one of them, making her get the idea of slapping something else, so she said, “Slap me, baby.” 

Thinking he meant her ass, he swatted one of the cheeks hard. 

“No.” She paused, bringing his hand up to her cheek. “Slap me.” Luci kissed the inside of his hand. 

His eyes widened. “Baby…” his thrusts slowed down, and Luci was right on the edge. He knew they talked about it the first time they had sex, and the first few times they had sex, he was testing out the waters on spanking, to which she absolutely loved feeling that certain type of sting. 

“Please, want you to.” She looked at him with pleading eyes. “Wanna feel it burn.” 

He debated in his head. “You’re sure?” She nodded, and he knew she could do better. “Words, Luciana.” 

“Yes, I’m one hundred percent sure. I’ll tell you if it's too much. Just wanna try it out.” She confirmed. The pressure in her stomach felt like she was going to burst, so she started to buck her hips, moving herself on him, making him groan. 

“Okay. We need a safe word…just in case.” 

“Mango.” Was the first thing that popped into her mind; it was also her favorite fruit. 

Harry chuckled. “Alright, mango it is.” He started thrusting again. His hand caressed her cheek as he brought his lips to hers, placing a sweet kiss to her luscious lips. “I love you.” 

“And I love you, too. I trust you.” 

Those words brought him reassurance, that she trusted only him to do this with, and that made him feel so much better about doing it. He nodded, continuing to fuck her into oblivion. Her eyes began to close and he felt her squeeze around him, making him jolt. 

“Hey, look at me. Want you to look at me when you cum.” Her eyes quickly opened, looking deep into his eyes that drove her crazy. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful. So, so beautiful.” Not too hard, he slapped her cheek, making her head swing to the side before she brought it back to look at his face. She had a sly smile on her face, as if she were the villain who would laugh every time the hero punched them. The impact had made her wetter, more eager to come. 

“Again.” She demanded, and he complied, slapping her twice more before she told him that she was coming. 

“That’s it. Such a pretty girl. Look at you cumming for me.” He kissed her forehead as he slammed his hips into her. 

Luci was spent, putting her full weight on the tiles, holding onto Harry’s shoulders, depending on him to keep her up; he wasn’t going to let her go, not ever. He wasn’t going to let her fall because he would catch her over and over again. 

“I’m gonna cum…” A throaty moan was released from his mouth. 

She grabbed his face, pressing their foreheads together as she said, “Please, cum in me. Want it.”

With her filthy words, Harry let out a harsh breath as he filled her up with his warm spurts of his pleasure, hips jolting as he rode his high out. He quickly kissed her, tongues swirling together as they swallowed each other’s moans. 

“Fuck, you’re so good to me.” He mindlessly breathed out. His cock slipped out of her once she brought her leg down to the ground, making her gasp in sensitivity. Soon, she felt the result of his pleasure trickling down her leg, and Harry was sure that was the hottest sight he’d ever seen. 

For a few moments, they held one another under the shower—thankful the hot water hadn’t been used entirely while they were fucking. Harry pulled away, cupping her cheeks as he looked at her. 

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, and she nodded. “D-Did I slap you too hard?” 

Luci shook her head. “No, no. It was perfect, thank you.”

He chuckled, softly rubbing his thumb against her soft cheek that he’d hit a few minutes prior. He placed many kisses to her skin, like he was subsiding the stings with his affection. “Learn more and more about you everyday; whether we’re having sex or not.” 

“Hmm, I love you.” She kissed his neck, causing him to wrap his arms around her waist tighter. 

“I love you more.” 

Finally, they were together again. 

November 3, 2018 

A stunning red cape-gown dress by Ralph Lauren sat perfectly on Luci’s body as her makeup artists were putting on the finishing touches to her glam. 

Today was the premiere for Ocean’s Eight, and nervous was an understatement. She’d been looking forward to these types of events since she was a little girl; watching movie premieres on the television, hoping and dreaming to become someone who walked the red carpet. Time flew by quickly because her dreams were about to come true. All she was missing was her boyfriend. 

After their reunion sex in the shower, they called it a night by eating some takeaway from Tasty plates. While her legs were resting on his thighs, she’d asked if he wanted to attend the premiere with her as her special guest. His answer was understandable, but she’d just wish he was next to her to calm her down. 

“Luci, please don’t take this the wrong way. I support you in everything that you do, you know that. I-I just don’t know if I’m ready for that. The thought of standing in front of cameras just makes me sick and nauseous. I don’t know…” She understood well, and saw where he was coming from because frankly, as she was getting ready for it, she could be sick any minute. 

She told him that it was completely okay, and proceeded with their night. 

“And done.” Her stylist, Jacqueline, announced, topping her makeup off with a dust of powder. “Luci, you look amazing.” 

“Thank you all so much. Best glam team ever.” The five people in the room clapped and praised her words. A security guard escorted her out to the car that was waiting in front of the hotel, ready to take her to the premiere. 

Once she got into the black SUV, her driver greeted her. “Hello, Ms. Suki. I’m Philip. I’ll be driving you around today.” 

“Hi, Philip. How are you?” 

“Doing very well, Ms. Suki. How are you?” 

“Oh, please call me Luci. But I’m okay—a bit nervous, if I’m honest.” 

“It’s an exciting time. You’ll do great.” Philip provided words of encouragement, which she was thankful for. Luci learned that Philip was from Spain, and had been living in New York since he was ten. She asked if he missed Spain, and he answered with. “Sometimes. I was quite young when we moved, so I didn’t really know any better. But the one thing I do miss is my family and how they speak—I didn’t know I could miss someone’s accent so much until I learned more about my culture. And here, I wasn’t surrounded by that. I’ve missed my abuela calling me ‘Felipe,’ which is my actual name.” Philip pulled up to the curb where there were countless media people with large professional cameras that were flashing brightly. Philip had definitely distracted Luci’s nervous thoughts as she hadn’t realized they were at the premiere already until he parked and dropped her off. “Goodluck, Ms. Luci. I can't wait to see the film!”

Someone from the outside of the car opened the door for her, and before she stepped out, she said ‘goodbye’ to her driver. “Thank you for driving me. I wish you well, Felipe.” She gave him a smile, trying her best to perfect the accent; Felipe looked at her with an appreciative smile, holding his hand to his heart. He hadn’t heard anyone say or try to say his real name ever since he moved, and for that, he will be forever grateful and honored to have met Luciana Suki. 

Camera flashes relentlessly went off in front of the Ziegfeld Theatre in midtown Manhattan. Luci balled her hands into fists as she stepped onto the blue carpet, the cameras directed towards her. She looked at Thea, who had met her at the premiere since she was her plus one, and Thea gave her an encouraging nod before Luci took a deep breath and walked in front of the white backdrop that had a large picture of the cast portraying their character in front of it. Shouts of direction were thrown her way, asking her to give their camera a big smile, and the only thing she felt was overwhelmed at everyone shouting at her, but she masked her emotions well. She was an actress, afterall. 

Harry was watching a live stream on his laptop, and he clapped to himself once he saw Luci step foot onto the carpet and in front of the cameras. He thought she looked absolutely beautiful, and he’d told her so when she sent him pictures of the entire look, saving them to his phone. He smiled to himself as he watched her, and he noticed a certain expression of uncomfortableness, making his smile vanish quickly. With a worried expression, he watched until she made it to the end of the red carpet, meeting with some interviewers, waving at fans who didn’t know who she was, and into the theatre. He let out a deep breath, glad that she was able to get through the media portion for the premiere, but he couldn’t help but feel guilty. 

On cue, his phone began to ring, and he saw that it was his mother, so he answered with an unenthusiastic tone. 

“Hi, mum.” 

“Harry, hi. How are you, darling?” Anne asked, cup of tea in hand. 

“I’m doing okay. How are you?” He tried picking his mood up from off the ground for his mum, but he wasn’t successful at it. 

“I’m doing great. We miss you. Now, do you wanna tell me how you’re really feeling? Could practically feel your mood all the way over here.” Anne tried making a joke to pick up the mood. “Does it have to do with Luci?” Harry had mentioned Luci right when she’d move in across the hall. From then on, it was like he couldn’t stop talking about her; the moment they became friends and when they started to hang out more with one another, to when he asked her to be his girlfriend—he never missed a phone call with Anne when he didn’t mention her. Of course, he told her about her career and how she was making her way up the ladder; Anne was quite excited about that because she would get to watch her movies, but then she put the pieces together and figured out that only meant Luci was apart from her son. 

Harry took a deep breath, sighing. “Luci’s at her premiere right now, and I was just watching the live stream for it. She looked so beautiful.” Harry never failed to mention how gorgeous she looked, and it made Anne’s heart smile. “Two days ago she asked me if I wanted to join her for the premiere, and I said no. I said no, mum!” 

Her brows furrowed. “Why’d you do that?” 

“Because I was nervous to be in front of the cameras. I knew I’d have to walk the carpet with her because she’d want me to, but just thinking about it, I don’t know if I’d be able to handle it. But watching the live stream just a few minutes ago, I saw how nervous she was; she didn’t have anyone beside her. It’s her first premiere ever, and I wasn’t there because I put my feelings before hers because I was selfish.” He felt an immense amount of regret in his chest as he started to cry. Luci wouldn’t get a ‘first’ premiere again, and he missed the chance to be with her, to celebrate a huge accomplishment. 

Anne’s heart sank at the sound of him crying. “I’m sure she won’t be too upset at you because she seemed pretty understanding of it.” 

“Of course she did—she had to. Things were weird at one point when she was in Singapore, and she’d only just gotten back home two days ago, so I doubt that she wanted to argue. I…I just feel so bad.” 

“Well, the only thing that would fix it would be to talk to her. Tell her you’re sorry and how you feel. You’ve got to communicate with each other.” She advised. 

The art of communication between them wasn’t entirely horrible; for one, it was difficult to communicate as it was when Luci was always working and in a different place with a fifteen hour time difference. Two, they were in a new relationship—no matter if they’d been together for ten months, they were still a new couple because they’d been separated and apart longer than they were physically together. So, they were still learning and figuring out how to do that with each other. 

“Okay. I will…” he agreed. 

Moving on from that topic, Anne told him about work and the cats, and how much she missed him. He told his mother that he’d see her on Christmas, which she’d been ecstatic about having her two children in the same house again. 

“Maybe you could bring Luci?” Anne subtly slipped in the idea to him. 

Harry chuckled. “I’m not sure. She goes back home for Christmas.” 

“Alright, just a suggestion. Make sure she knows that she’s welcomed.” 

“I’ll be sure to tell her.” 

After bidding each other goodbye for the past ten minutes, they finally managed to get off the phone after a few more conversations. 

Now, all he had to do was wait for Luci to get home and hoped she wasn’t mad at him. 

It was around eight in the evening when someone knocked on Harry’s door. He was cooking a later dinner for himself as a spontaneous idea had entered his mind to make homemade pasta. So, his hands were covered in flour, and he was lucky he had an apron on because his clothes would have flour all over it. 

Washing his hands, he headed for the door, wondering who could be knocking right now. When he opened the door, there she was: his Luci, standing in a beautiful red gown as she held her clutch in her two hands in front of her stomach. Her hair, makeup, and composure was absolutely stunning. She held herself with grace, with poise.

He was stunned. “Luciana…” 

“Hi, Harry.” She smiled. His eyes raked up and down her body, completely stupefied by her beauty; the contrast of feeling intimidated under his stare only ignited a sense of confidence for how he was looking at her. “Not gonna let me in?” Harry quickly moved to the side, opening the door wider for her as she nonchalantly walked into his apartment as the train on her dress trailed after her. 

A smirk landed on her face knowing Harry was looking at her as she walked in, and that ultimately boosted her confidence. He waited until the material of her dress was fully inside and not within the door’s swinging motion so it wouldn’t get caught under the door. 

She turned around, facing him and his eyes never left her. “How are you, my love?” Luci had a smile on her face that Harry would never get over; it permanently remained in his dreams. 

From what Harry could tell, Luci wasn’t mad or disappointed; she looked delighted and relieved to see him. 

“I’m doing better now that you’re here—and not that I’m complaining whatsoever, but isn’t the afterparty still going on?” He wondered. 

“It is. I only stayed for an hour or two. I’d rather be here, though.”

Harry blushed. “I’m glad you’re here. You look…fuck, Luciana, you look absolutely beautiful.” He rubbed his forehead as if her beauty had completely overwhelmed him, made him feel lightheaded. 

Luci was going to get changed before she knocked on Harry’s door, but she wanted him to see her in her gown, and his reaction and all the sweet compliments were totally worth staying in her dress. 

“Thank you, H. That’s very sweet.” 

“How was the premiere?” He asked; Luci took a seat on his couch, taking off her shoes before she propped them up on his coffee table as Harry followed, sitting right next to her. He grabbed her legs, bringing them across his thighs as he began massaging her feet, up her calves, and trailing up thighs—close to her inner thighs.  

Luci shifted, getting comfortable, wanting to clench her thighs together with how good his hands felt on her. “It was good! I was pretty nervous, but I had fun. It’s, like, kinda weird watching myself on the big screen. I don’t think I would get used to that.” She chuckled, leaning her head on the back of the couch. “I should get the professional pictures tomorrow, and maybe we could put them in our scrapbook?” 

Harry nodded. “I’d love that. I’m glad you had a good time.” He smiled softly before he went completely silent, stopping the movements of his hands. Luci could tell something was bothering him and had been for a while now.

“Hey.” She reached over to touch his hand. “Talk to me. You look like you have a lot on your mind.” 

“I was watching the live stream of the premiere, and I just wanted to say I’m sorry.” Luci’s brows furrowed in confusion. “I-I should’ve been there with you. I mean, I was completely selfish for not being by your side for your first premiere. I was thinking of my own feelings and how I would feel being surrounded by the chaos when I didn’t even think about how you might’ve felt. And I regret it so much. I’m so sorry.”

He brought her hands to his lips, pressing multiple soft kisses to the inside and back of her hands; Luci slightly frowned, shaking her head. 

She placed her hands on the back of his neck, placing a kiss on his forehead. “No, no. It’s okay. Hey, I’m not mad. Don’t beat yourself up.” 

“But…you’re supposed to be mad.” 

“I’m not supposed to be anything besides yours.” 

He nodded as his heart fluttered at her words. There was no look of annoyance or worry about how he politely declined her invitation. 

“Just know that I regret my decision on not going with you.” 

“It’s okay. There will be plenty of premieres—hopefully—but for now, it’s in the past and we can’t change that.” Harry let out a breath of relief. “Now, what are you making? I wanna join in.” She changed the subject to a much lighter one, hoping to get his mind to stop putting blame on him. Harry pushed his tears back, leading her to the kitchen, and she was excited to see the rolled out dough on the countertop. She clapped, telling Harry that she was going to get changed. 

She came back in a pair of white pajama pants that had little chicks on it and a black sweater; her makeup was wiped off, jewelry was taken off and put away safely on her side of Harry’s bedside table. He looked at her in awe—the same look he had when she was dressed and glammed up; his look for her would never change. 

Tears and worries had been forgotten as they rolled out the pasta dough, making different kinds of shapes and sizes. They played the ‘Mamma Mia!’ soundtrack—since that was Luci’s go-to soundtrack since the movie was a “cinematic masterpiece” as she should say—singing and harmonizing They opened a bottle of wine and raised their glasses to love and more opportunities. 

November 5, 2018 

“Okay, since your birthday is in three days, and I can’t keep a surprise to save my life…I booked us a dinner reservation in the evening.” 

Luci looked up from the November issue of the Vogue magazine that she was mindlessly flipping through. Her eyes lit up. “Really? Where?” 

“I need something to surprise you with, so you’ll know when we get there.” Harry kissed her cheek. Pouting, she gave her best puppy eyes. “Not gonna work, baby, but nice try.” 

Her face switched back to neutral. “Fine. You’re lucky I love you.” 

“Yeah, I know you do,” he teased. 

“I really do.” She put the magazine down on the table in front of her, climbing on his lap. “Like, a lot.” 

“And I love you more. Now, how about I give you an extra and early birthday gift?” He asked, rubbing his hands down her back and to her ass. 

Her hips slightly grinded down on him, causing him to fidget. “Oh, yeah? And what would that entail?” 

“Let’s go to the bedroom and find out.” 

Before she got the chance to answer, he unexpectedly ran to the bedroom, dragging her along as she squealed. Their smiles hadn’t disappeared from their faces, and they were hopelessly happy and in love. 

November 8, 2018

The school bell rang, making everyone pack up their belongings as they headed out the classroom door. Usually, Harry would stay back and get some grading done, but today, he had errands to run before his date with Luci for her birthday. He’d been so excited since the moment he told her that they had plans, which he was lucky that he hadn’t spoiled the entire evening right then and there. 

For her birthday, Harry had planned to take her out to a nice restaurant—not too fancy since fancy wasn’t really their vibe, but it was nice enough that they needed to dress up. After their meal, he planned to take her to the arcade where he would win her an arcade ring from one of those claw-machine games—that ate people’s quarters quickly—were almost impossible to win anything from, but he was determined. The arcade ring could scare her away as she may think it would be the next step to their relationship but it wasn’t anything too serious because neither of them were ready for that nor had it been discussed. He’d love to marry Luci, though, if he was being honest. They hadn’t even been together for a year, but he just had a certain feeling in his heart that she was the one—a feeling he hadn’t felt all of his life and in his past relationships. 

After their arcade shenanigans, Harry would take her to a café that closed later than usual, where they would share a Danish to satisfy their sweet tooth, and have coffee or tea that would make them wired so they would have to stay up to have romantic and sweet sex; and in between rounds, they would eat the birthday cake Harry bought her. 

He had it all planned out, and he was eager to see the excitement and surprise on her face. 

Putting his folders and belongings into his bag, he said goodbye to the last student who was walking out of his classroom. With a big smile on his face, he rushed as he was packing up, seeing as he was in a time crunch. He closed his door and made his way down the hall before he was stopped. 

“Hey, Harry! Wait up.” Harry turned around, seeing Carina jog towards him as her heels clicked against the ground. 

“Hi, Carina. What’s up?” 

“I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight? My friends and I are going to this bar, and they have live music there, so I figured you’d be interested in that.” Her hands locked behind her back as she briefly looked down at her feet before looking up with hopeful eyes. 

“Oh, uh, thank you for the offer.” Carina had the face of rejection…again. “But today is my girlfriend’s birthday and we’re going out tonight.” 

“Right, got it. Girlfriend.” She stated. If Carina was honest, she didn’t Harry had a girlfriend, and she felt like her constant invitation to hang out made her look dumb. 

“I’m sorry. I should get going.” He started to back towards the exit of the school as he waved. 

“Yeah, have a good night. If by some miraculous reason you change your mind, call me. We’ll be out all night. You can even bring your girlfriend.” Despite the fact that she’d gotten rejected three times and there was a girlfriend in the picture, she’d kept her hopes up. She was just going to stand on the sidelines, and somehow, one day, Harry would stop playing the game and join her. 

“Uh, sure.” He waved once more before heading out. Without much thought to Carina’s invitation, he carried on to his schedule and he stopped by the stand-up shop on the sidewalk that was close to his school to buy Luci’s favorite bouquet of flowers. He saw that the ones he’d given her when she arrived home a week ago were still alive and fresh, but she mentioned that she wanted to put some in her bedroom—to brighten up her room. So, no harm in getting another bouquet of flowers. The vendor who owned the shop had noticed he was a regular, which he was grateful for, and told Harry that his lady must be a very lucky one since he’d always made sure to get her the same one. But Harry quickly countered that he was the lucky one. 

Next, he stopped by the bakery to buy her a birthday cake. Last year, he hadn’t gotten one for her and she ended up blowing candles from the bowl of ice cream they ate later that night, so he figured a proper birthday cake would top it off. He’d pre-ordered the cake a few days before—a small circle cookies n’ cream ice cream cake, enough to fit both of them. He bought the numbers ‘2’ and ‘7’ and had the baker write ‘Happy Birthday,  Luci!’ in red frosting—her favorite color. 

When he was finished with everything he needed to do, it was nearing four-thirty and the train ride back to home during rush hour would be dreadful, so he headed back home. He was glad the bakery shop had given him a brown paper bag that was big enough to put the cake in because he couldn’t risk the train suddenly stopping and having the cake fly across the subway cart. 

It was five-thirty when he opened his front door. Their reservation was at six-fifteen, so he needed to get changed and properly ready for his girlfriend, and then he’d knock on her door. 

A black button down shirt sat perfectly on his torso as the top two buttons were undone, showing his cross pendant, a peek of his tattoos, and the-barely-there but growing chest hair. He wore cream colored pants that fit him perfectly, flaring at the bottom and stopping at the perfect length to show his black Gucci boots that he’d been eyeing for a while and saved up for. He messed around with his hair; it had grown much longer and he hadn’t cut it since last year, but it showcased his curls impeccably. 

Taking out the cake, he lit the candles up, placing them out the empty spaces around the writing before he carefully took the cake and flowers across the hall, knocking on her door. 

He waited a moment before knocking again, and even then, he didn’t hear the familiar shuffling inside that always made him chuckle because Luci hated making him wait. After waiting for another minute or two, he knocked once more before he walked back inside of his own apartment, blowing out the candles before setting them on the table. He grabbed the spare key that she gave him and walked back to her door. He was starting to get worried now, and all he wanted to know was if she was okay because who knew what could have happened inside her apartment. So, he unlocked the door and let himself in. 

“Luci?” He called out, slowly walking through the hallway. He took a glance at the main portion of the apartment, but it was empty. He then made his way to her bedroom and bathroom, and there were no signs or traces of the birthday girl. Furrowing his brows, he wondered where she could be. Harry took out his phone and called, texted, and sent her voicemails at least ten to fifteen times each. 

He sat on her couch waiting for Luci to walk through the door, saying that she was sorry for being late. But as the minutes and hours went by, she didn't show; there were no texts or calls—nothing. It was nine at night when he decided to go back to his apartment. He waited for her for four hours, and the only thing that he was thinking about at the moment was: she forgot or she didn’t want to spend her birthday with him. Either one was fine, all she had to do was shoot him a call or text, and then he wouldn’t be so mad or annoyed. 

The ice cream cake was melting on the table as it’d gone through hours of not being supervised by the cold freezer. He thought about just throwing the entire thing away, but then he remembered the hard work the bakers had gone through to make this cake, so he stored it in the freezer and wiped down the table before grabbing his phone, finding the person he wanted to contact and hit call. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey. Are you still out?” He asked. 

“Yeah, we’re at Cherry on Lafayette in Soho.” The person on the other side of the call said, smiling, glad that Harry was going to join them. 

“Okay, I’ll meet you there.” 

Harry didn’t have a clue as to where Luci was, who or if she was with anyone, or if she was okay. All he wanted was for Luci to be okay, that’s all that mattered to him. Perhaps also an explanation as to why she hadn’t shown. But if she was going to be out all night, then he would too. 

With that, Harry grabbed his keys and headed out. 

Happy Fucking Birthday Luci.

It was 1:15 a.m when Harry turned the corner of his hallway. He wasn’t sure if going out was the best idea in the world. His mind seemed to be on auto-pilot, as it had the control to rile himself up, making him angry at his failed plan to make Luci’s birthday special to anxiety-driven thoughts that made him insecure, wondering if he did or said anything wrong to her that caused her to not want to spend time with him. He stood outside of his door, leaning his forehead against the doorframe as he fished for his keys in his pocket; at the same time his phone buzzed. 

Taking it out, he knew it wasn’t Luci, but it was Jeff. 

Did you get home okay? 

Typing back, he replied with Yeah, standing in front of my door right now. Thanks for tonight. 

Of course, man. Anytime. Goodluck with Luci. 

Harry didn’t reply anymore. Instead, he put his phone away and took out his keys. 

Jeff had invited Harry out for drinks with their other friend, Mitch, but Harry declined, telling them that he had plans with Luci. But since those plans didn’t pull through, he joined his friends from uni, which wasn’t the smartest idea because all he did was drink his feelings away and he hated doing that. He had ranted to Jeff and Mitch about how his night did a complete one-eighty as he hadn’t expected to be sitting at the bar with his friends but instead, in bed with his girlfriend. 

Jeff was Harry’s best friend, and he was his first friend he’d met when he was at UCLA, and they both had the idea to move to New York after college, so they did it together. A year into living in New York, Jeff had met Mitch, and they’d got along so well that Jeff decided to keep him around as a friend and introduced him to Harry. All three of them had been a group of three for two years, and they’d been lucky finding one another. 

Another pair of shoes had walked down the hall, making Harry turn his head to see who was coming. 

And in a gorgeous evergreen dress that landed above her knees, Luci was walking down the hall. If it was any day or any situation, Harry would have bedroom eyes, undressing her from head to toe before pulling her in for a kiss. But it wasn’t, and he was annoyed and pissed. 

Luci was fiddling with her keys as she giggled to herself once her eyes were set on Harry. His brows were furrowed as he watched her, and she didn’t seem to care about the extra presence in the hallway—let alone, the fact that it was her boyfriend. 

“Where’ve you been?” Harry asked in a quite demanding tone. Luci scoffed as if she was annoyed, and Harry was shocked that she was the one that was irritated.

“Harry, not now.” She hadn’t even turned around to face him, not even to apologize for not showing up; she just continued trying to find the right key and keeping herself up on the poorly chosen heels she’d worn for the night that made her heel blister. 

“Not now? The fuck you mean ‘not now?’ Did you forget we had plans?” Luci turned around, and Harry could clearly see that she was drunk—not to the point of knocking out, but it seemed like she was coming down from being at that point because she clearly managed to get back home in one piece without someone helping her. “Where’ve you been, Luci?” He asked once more. 

“I’ve been out.” 

“Yeah, I figured,” he said sarcastically. “Where?” 

“Went out with Nina to a club somewhere in Manhattan. Had a few…a lot.” She chuckled at the memory of her night. 

“Did you get my calls? My texts?” 

“Harry…I get you’re my boyfriend, but I don’t need to tell you my every move.” Luci rolled her eyes, huffing. Her drunk mind was going against all respect she had for the man in front of her. “Seems like you’ve been out too, but you don’t see me questioning you.” She pointed at him. 

The disappointment in his face never left. “I get that, and frankly, I don’t want to know your every move. But I told you that we had plans. The least you could do is call me to cancel, but no, you stood me up.” He tried to hide the sadness in his voice but it was transparent. Luci clearly heard it quite clearly, making her heart sink. “I understand that it’s your birthday and you could do whatever you want, but if you didn’t want to spend it with me then you could’ve just said so; if you weren’t gonna make it on time, you could’ve just said so.” He paused, taking a breath. “I-I was standing in the hallway for ten minutes with a cake, and waited for you inside your apartment for four hours.” 

Guilt was suddenly thrown at Luci as she looked down at her feet and curled her lips in. Tears had glossed over her eyes, but she denied them to stream down her face because she didn’t deserve to cry, she didn’t deserve to act like the victim in this situation. She kept her eyes to her feet and hands; she couldn’t even look him in the eye or else she'd let out a loud sob. 

“Harry, I’m sorry…” she started, testing her limits as she looked up at him. “I should’ve called.” 

“Yeah, you should’ve,” he said sternly. There was an awkward pause, neither of them not knowing what to say. Harry was exhausted from overthinking and all the emotions that had gone through his head, but it gave him a piece of mind knowing that Luci arrived home safely and in one piece, so he didn’t have any other reason as to why he should be standing in the hallway. “I hope you had a good birthday.” Was all he said before he walked back inside of his apartment and shut the door, not giving her a chance to respond. 

Luci sighed, letting out the sobs that she’d been holding in before she knew that she’d made a big mistake. 

November 21, 2018

Luci opened her door to her family, greeting her excitedly. They hugged her tightly before pushing past her and inside of her apartment. Beatrice and Ren had asked Luci if they could stay at her place for Thanksgiving, and Luci wasn’t going to say no to that. They’d arrived a day before so her parents could prepare dinner as they didn’t want to rush for tomorrow. Luci had gotten them all of their groceries that they needed for the dinner, insisting that she’d buy it at the beginning of the week since the stores would most likely be packed the closer it got to Thanksgiving. 

“I’m so happy you’re all here,” she told them. Beatrice looked up from the cutting board, smiling brightly. 

“Well, Ana, if we hadn’t come here, you had to come to us.” Nathan stated jokingly, putting her arm around her shoulder. 

Luci was happy Nathan wasn’t working during the Thanksgiving week and was able to join their parents on the trip. She’d missed all of them being in the same room; Luci had visited them before she left for Singapore, but it was only a brief day where Nathan wasn’t able to see her, so she was ecstatic her brother was there with her. 

“Yeah, and it’s fun being in a star’s home.” Ren teased. 

Luci giggled, shaking her head at the joke. “Barely a star, Pa.”

“Are you kidding? You definitely are a star! Already filmed for two blockbuster-hit movies all within a year. You’re moving up, Lulu.” Ren’s encouraging words made her smile; she always admired how her father was always so uplifting and optimistic. 

“I agree, Lucky. And there’s many more opportunities to come, I can tell you that.” Beatrice pitched in, not looking up from the vegetables that she was chopping with the sharp knife. Luci smiled, grabbing the small piece of carrot that she cut up before popping it into her mouth. As a mother could read their children’s minds, Beatrice noticed that Luci wasn’t herself. Usually, Luci would be very talkative and interactive when she was with her family, but now, she was quiet. “You okay, Luci?” Her mother asked. 

The only reasonable thing she could do, while Luci didn’t want to ruin their night, was to tell her mother a little white lie. 

Luci nodded. “I’m fine, Ma.” Deciding not to press her daughter any further, all Beatrice did was nod, taking her word for it but she’ll ask once more when the time was right. 

In all honesty, Luci wasn’t fine, which was obvious given her and Harry’s situation and the place that they were in at the moment. Ever since that run-in the night she got home from her spontaneous birthday adventure with Nina and some friends, he hadn’t talked to her much. He’d talk to her when he had to, when he didn’t have a choice; and it was quite hard to avoid your neighbor, especially a neighbor who was always looking through the peep-hole for your whereabouts and knew his exact schedule. 

She missed Harry, and she didn’t know how long his disappointment for her would last. 

The Suki family gathered around Luci’s coffee table, eating their traditional Thanksgiving foods; they shared laughter and stories. When Luci moved to New York, she was so afraid of being alone without her family, but she came to realize that the reunions were always so exciting and fun because they talked like they hadn’t seen each other in years. 

“Luci, is Harry coming by?” Ren asked. Luci had told them about her and Harry’s relationship when they’d been together for two months. It was during a group FaceTime when Luci had just woken up and was getting ready to leave for work. She was groggy and half asleep, as it was already noon on the East Coast—telling them that she’d visited Harry for his birthday, which caused an uproar. They were supportive nonetheless. 

At the sound of Harry’s name, she gulped, taking her time to chew and swallow her food before she answered her father. “Uh, no, I don’t think so,” she responded, which wasn’t technically a lie because she didn’t know of Harry’s whereabouts. 

“Ah, that’s too bad. We’d love to meet him properly. The last and only time we met him was at your first show last year, and you two weren’t even together yet! Crazy how time flies by, but anyways, he was a nice guy—would love to have a chat with him again.” Luci pointed her eyes at Ren, knowing what that chat could entail. “What? I’m not gonna corner him. I won’t hesitate to do so, but so far, he’s treating you well, so I can’t complain.”

He’s treating me well, but I hadn’t been treating him the same, Luci thought to herself. 

On cue, there was a strong and loud knock on the door, which startled the family. Luci looked around with wide eyes before she got up from her seat and headed towards the door. Looking through the peep-hole, she saw Harry, which was a surprise. 

She opened the door. “Hey-”

“What is this?” Harry interrupted. Luci stepped into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. He held his phone up to her face, and she scanned the article. Her eyes progressively widened as she quickly read it. 

Presented on his phone was a thread of text messages from some woman that had sent Harry pictures of her and Nina on Luci’s birthday, dancing on the tables of a bar in Tribeca. There was another picture of her and Samuel; she had her head thrown back, laughing at something that he said but she was too drunk to remember. Another picture was when Samuel leaned into her ear, whispering something that she hadn’t had a clue about. If she was being completely honest, the pictures looked intimate; they were in close proximity because of the loud music and she noticed Samuel’s eyes sparkling as he looked at her. 

Harry’s face was neutral and emotionless, but the fact that he showed no reaction or emotion only terrified her more because she knew behind the inexpressive face, he held anger inside. 

“Where did you-”

“It doesn’t matter where I got this from. Now, tell me…what the fuck is this?” 

“Harry…please let me explain.” 

“I’ll give you five seconds to start explaining or else I’ll lose it-” The door behind her opened, revealing Beatrice. 

“Harry!” She exclaimed, as if she hadn’t heard the loud voices from inside the apartment. 

He immediately put his phone down, and if he wasn’t so shy in front of cameras, then he’d definitely hit the nail in the entertainment industry because he was quick to put up a front and mask his emotions that Luci was amazed at how fast he was able to do that. 

“Beatrice, hello. It’s nice to see you again.” He smiled. 

“We were actually just talking about you! Luci mentioned that you weren’t stopping by.” Luci closed her eyes; she loved her mother, she really did, but she really needed her to not talk. 

“Did she?” Harry asked, amusing her. 

“Yeah. Did you want to come in? We have plenty of food.” 

Despite all feelings against Luci at the moment, she was still his girlfriend, and the last thing he wanted to do was be rude in front of her family. So, he told Beatrice ‘yes’ before walking past Luci and into her apartment. 

It felt like it’d been ages since he was at her place—the unfortunate event of playing the waiting game. The air felt different, and for a momentary thought, it didn’t feel like home, but he assumed he’d only been thinking that because of everything that was happening between them. 

Ren and Nathan greeted him excitedly, like the universe was listening to their conversation and had decided to bring Harry to Luci’s front door. Harry helped himself to a plate of food as his mouth watered at the aroma and sight of homemade food before joining the bunch on the couch. 

They all chatted quite well; there were no awkward moments in between. Ideally, Luci would’ve loved this moment if it were any other time. Seeing Harry communicate and laugh with her family should make her heart swoon, but her heart didn’t have the ability to do that, as of now, because all she was thinking and worried about was Harry’s reaction and how he felt when he saw that particular article. 

“Harry, I’m assuming you already saw Ocean’s Eight?” Nathan asked. 

He nodded. “Yeah, I did. Luci’s…great, isn’t she? Like, proper talented. No wonder she was casted so quickly for her second movie.” Even though he held an ample amount of irritation towards her, he would never talk badly about Luci. 

Harry looked at her, sitting beside him, finding her eyes already looking at him with a small smile on her face as if she was thanking him for always saying kind things about her; he turned away quickly before she got any ideas. 

After a few more conversations and a pie for dessert, they all decided to call it a night. Harry thanked them all for letting him be the addition to their Thanksgiving dinner, and Beatrice had told him that he was welcomed any time for the November holiday, even though he didn’t celebrate it. 

“I’m gonna walk him out.” Luci announced, but no one really listened as they cleaned up. 

They headed out her door before Harry walked into his apartment, not bothering to close the door because Luci was following him. Finally, they were alone and had time for a decent conversation. Nerves crept onto her skin because all she could think about was how this conversation could end; they could talk it out and he would eventually forgive her, or he could break up with her and that would be the end of Luci and Harry. And for the first time, she hated the butterflies that erupted in her stomach; she hated the nervous feeling she felt in her chest; she hated the pounding of her heart as she looked at Harry because they were bad nerves, not the ones that made her feel giddy. 

“I’m gonna give you a chance to explain. I don’t want to let this slide nor do I want to assume anything, so you’re going to explain everything that happened that night because the least you could do is that.” Harry crossed his arms as he spoke; the sight was intimidating. 

Luci nodded, understanding. “Okay.” Harry didn’t say anything else, he sat on his couch as he waited for her to begin; Luci took a deep breath in. “So, Nina texted me and told me to go to her place for some day drinking because it was my birthday and she missed me, so I agreed to go. She texted me at noon and I got there around one, and there were a few other people there—already wasted. I didn’t know what the occasion was because I doubted those other people knew it was my birthday.” 

“Other people?” Harry asked. 

“Yeah, Samuel and some of Nina’s friends that I don’t know.” 

“Samuel as in that guy you used to be with?” Harry also couldn’t forget about that time he saw both of them in the hallway, watching Samuel kiss her cheek. Without him fully knowing, he was jealous; he hated how much that simple gesture affected him. 

Luci gulped. “Yeah. He has a girlfriend—Daisy, remember?” He inhaled, nodding. “I was surprised he was there, too—I didn’t know he was gonna be there. Anyways, we started drinking for hours, I’m pretty sure. I’d completely lost track of time because of how drunk I was already. But I knew it was late because it was already pitch black outside. Everyone wanted to go to a club that night, and I said ‘yes,’ but before we left, Nina and her friends were up in her room doing lines, and they offered me…”

Harry furrowed his brows concerningly. “Did you?” 

“No, no! I didn’t. That part I remember because I didn’t want to be involved in that stuff. So, I sat back and waited for them. I must’ve fallen asleep for a little bit because Samuel woke me up and told me that we were leaving.” 

Throughout her and Nina’s friendship—Luci didn’t think they were that close as Nina thought they were—she wouldn’t have guessed that Nina was using. But she figured that was the reason why Samuel was there, to provide them with a stash. It was quite a shock to Luci, even in her drunken state. Nina’s friends had continuously asked Luci if she wanted to try it, to go up into the bathroom and line it up on the cold counter by the sink, but Luci declined, telling them that she was okay and that she would wait for them. Paying no mind to her, they all went upstairs; Luci heard laughter coming from the second floor along with slight moaning after each line. She put herself to sleep, which her drunkenness helped; and for what seemed like hours, Samuel had woken her up and they left for the club. 

“Okay, so the picture of you and Samuel? What’s that about?” Harry questioned. 

If Luci could remember every single word from that conversation, then she would gladly tell him, but she doesn’t; she only remembered bits and pieces of that night before she went home. But she did know that nothing but a friendly chat occurred. “We were just talking, I swear. Nothing else happened. I remember he was apologizing for how he left things and he was telling me that he was happy about all the opportunities that I was given, and he talked about Daisy; that was it.” She paused, waiting for Harry to respond, but he stayed quiet. “And then I went home, realized that I missed our date and I was so mad at myself, and I know I shouldn’t have been annoyed or acted like a bitch to you because I had no right to  act like that because you didn’t deserve it. I’m so sorry.” She apologized genuinely. 

Luci had been beating herself up over what she did, and Harry noticed. He was good at reading her mind quite well, reading her like a book. He knew that she didn’t regret going out because she missed going out freely with her friends, but what she regretted was not going home earlier so she could make it just in time for their date; she regretted not contacting Harry, telling him that she was out or that she was going to be late so he didn’t have to wait for a night of anger and loneliness. He knew that much. If she hadn’t been so regretful, then this situation would’ve turned out very different, but she simply made a mistake, and Harry wasn’t going to let her beat herself up over that. People make mistakes. It happens. 

“Okay…” He simply said. Luci looked dumbfounded over his words and how he felt. “It’s okay. We’re okay.” She let out the biggest breath of relief before wrapping her arms around his waist, laying her head against his chest. It’d been a very long two weeks since she was in his arms, since she’d heard his heartbeat close to her ear, and she never wanted to go a day without them. Luci had missed Harry; although he thinks he missed her more. 

She tilted her head up. “I’m so sorry.” Tears filled her eyes. 

“It’s okay.” He rubbed her back in reassurance, kissing her forehead. The slightest touch of his lips on her skin made a chill run down her spine; the familiar electric force had shocked her in the best and relieving way. 

They stayed in each other’s arms for a while, not letting go of one another as if they were compensating for the time that was lost when they weren’t in each other’s hold, time that was wasted. After a while, Luci lifted her head up again, exhaustedly looking deeply into Harry’s eyes; he could see how tired she was since she hadn’t gotten a decent amount of sleep since their argument. 

“Can I sleep here with you?” She asked hesitantly. 

“What about your family?” 

“They’re okay. I slept on an air mattress anyway because Nathan took the couch.” Harry slightly smiled at that. He loved how she was so selfless when it came to her family. He could tell just how much love she had for them just by simple gestures and how she admiringly talked about them. 

“Okay, let’s go to sleep.” 

He led her to his bedroom as they both climbed in under the sheets, pressing their bodies close to one another as a way to warm each other up. Their hearts were beating incredibly hard against their chests that poured out so much love, never once stopping the overload. They looked at each other, admiring the other’s features that they had memorized. If someone had asked them to draw a portrait of their significant love, they would draw each other with perfect precision.  

“I love you. I always will.” Luci said within the midst of appreciating one’s art. 

“I love you too.” 

They quietly and slowly drifted off to sleep. Luci was the first to meet her slumber, and as Harry watched her as he scratched her head, watching the way she would deeply inhale and exhale, he then fell asleep. 

That night, their sleep was undistracted and peaceful, and one of the best night’s rest they’d ever gotten within the past two weeks without the knowledge of the storm that was coming. 

December 28, 2018 

The indescribable bliss and love had lasted for thirty-six days until shit broke loose again. 

For thirty-six days, Harry and Luci laughed, made love, spent their days together, and simply enjoyed the other’s presence. Their argument was long forgotten and in the past; Harry had forgiven her for everything she’d done and said that night on her birthday, and all was good again. 

They were separated during Christmas; Harry went back home to Manchester as Luci went to Massachusetts. They considered spending the holiday with one another, but it wouldn’t have worked out since Harry’s family was in a completely different country. Luci, a person who can’t stand not seeing her family during the holiday, was thinking about going to England with Harry since he’d told her so many times that Anne would love to meet her and Gemma in person, but he couldn’t take her away from her family. So, he told her that there will be another time to do so, just not during a busy time. 

Despite the time off, Luci was getting calls from Thea and Samantha, asking her if she’d want to work again in the next year, which Luci said an obvious yes to, so they booked her an audition for a television series that was about solving crimes and detective ethics; the first episode for the series was airing in the Fall of next year. She’d have to film throughout the end of Spring and going into the Summer, but it wasn’t as hectic and fast paced as a film production, thankfully. 

Both Harry and Luci had decided to go back to New York just a tad bit earlier than when they’d usually leave for the holidays. Luci was excited to see her boyfriend again, and Harry? He couldn’t say the same. 

Some random thought in his head told him to check his emails when he was waiting for his luggage at baggage claim. He mindlessly scrolled through the unopened emails that mostly included the subscriptions for his streaming services, his favorite clothing stores since he had a habit of shopping online way too much, and random stores that he never bought anything from but typed in his email anyways to get a free coupon for a percent off of something. But an email that caught his eye was from one he couldn’t recognize—most likely a pseudonym to reach him. 

The email read: Might wanna check this out with a link that took him to a well-known media site, The Mass, that was known for twisting a celebrity’s word around. Not thinking of it too much, he read the headline that contained Luci’s name. He smiled a bit as this was the first article that was ever released of her. Just as he was about to send her the link, he kept scrolling, scanning over every word that was stated in the article. His smile had disappeared within every sentence that he read. His brows furrowed as he processed the words he was reading. And his heart sank throughout the entire article. 

He put his phone away, grabbing his luggage that had circled around at least twice, and headed home. Harry tried to stay calm throughout the entire trip back home but his mind was swirling with unwanted thoughts, betrayal, and doubted love. 

As he stood in front of his door, the door behind him had swung open, and before he got the chance to turn around, a pair of familiar arms were wrapped around his waist. 

“Hi, my love. I missed you.” Luci’s hands rubbed up and down his chest, missing the feel of him. He hadn’t said anything, not one greeting. Instead, he turned around, making her grip on him loosen as he looked down at her. She was smiling, clearly clueless as to what he was feeling at the moment and oblivious about the article that was published about her. 

Luci tiptoed to reach his lips before giving him a kiss. Just through that kiss itself, she knew something was wrong; he didn’t even kiss her back, which only pained both of them. 

“Are you okay?” She asked. There was a bit of silence; the only thing that could be heard was Harry’s heartbeat that was pounding through his ears. “Hey, talk to me.” 

Taking a deep breath, he started, “It took you thirty-six days for you to mess it all up again.” 

Brows furrowed in confusion, Luci pulled back slightly. “What are you talking about?” She asked softly. 

“Did Thea not tell you about the article that was published about you?” She shook her head, and Harry took a deep breath; he didn’t like that he was the one that had to inform her about it. “Someone sent me an article that was published on The Mass. It was an interview that took place after you filmed for Ocean’s Eight.” 

Fuck. 

A sudden realization hit her as she remembered the things she said in that interview—none of them were necessarily bad, but she did lie and say that she didn’t have a boyfriend when Harry was waiting for her at home. 

The interview with Audrey had completely slipped her mind. She thought it would have been posted after the premiere, or even after filming was finished, but there was no story or article on her for months on end, so she’d forgotten about it and thought that it was completely dropped. 

Her guess was that since her name was being put out there after filming for two big films, more people would want to read up on her. And she was glad now that people were more likely to search up her name on the search engine, but she really wished a section of that article didn’t exist. 

“When did that interview happen?” He asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. 

Luci took a deep breath. “In April.” 

Harry closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing the skin between his eyebrows before he opened his eyes. “April. We were together in April. In fact, we never stopped being together. Why would you say you didn’t have a ‘lover’ or a boyfriend?” 

“I…” 

“Do you not want to be together? Is that what this is?” His tone was overbearing as it started to become more stern as he kept pressing. 

“Of course, I want to be together-”

“Because it really seems like you don’t. Fuck, Ci. Do you even love me?”

“Yes! I love you!” She raised her voice, interrupting him as she wasn’t giving him a chance to speak. “How could you even question that?” Her eyes were filled with tears with how overwhelmed she was. “I love you so fucking much that it hurts. You’re everything to me, Harry. I want you all the time; I knew that from the moment I met you. So don’t doubt my love for you ever again.” 

There was something attractive about declaring your love to someone so passionately in the middle of an argument that it almost made the other person want to rip their clothes off and fuck them in the hallway. That’s what Harry was thinking about right now, as inappropriate the timing was. Rage filled Luci as she proclaimed and spewed out her love; Harry, her love for Harry was her extreme joy. 

“I don’t understand how you could say something like that, though.” He sighed, crossing his arms. 

“I didn’t think this is what you wanted. You do realize that my name is spreading? And once they find out about you, all they’ll do is want pictures of you, even when I’m not with you! Is that what you want? Because I don’t. That’s a huge invasion of privacy that I’m not willing to share. No matter how much I love you, I don’t want to share you with the world.” 

He nodded, understanding her words. But he felt a bit overwhelmed at the moment, and just needed time to breathe. “Okay. Just…just give me some time. I’m kinda overwhelmed with everything.” 

Luci sighed sadly, but there was nothing she could do; she wasn’t going to deny him the space that he requested. “Alright.” She watched him open his door before entering, turning around to face her. “I love Harry. That’s going to change, I hope you know that.” 

“I do.” He nodded. “Goodnight, Ci.” 

Closing his door had, in a way, represented putting his guard up. He had been living freely with his guard down for a little more than a year, and this situation and the one prior had scared him a bit, so he needed to take some control in his feelings and his life; and if putting one guard up out of the four, then so be it.

Luci had spent the night alone, which was the exact opposite of her expectations when reuniting with Harry. She cried into her pillow, regretting every bad decision she made that had caused pain to him. 

She then realized that he never said he loved her back, and he always said it back. 

December 30, 2018 

Luci didn’t have a clue as to how she survived the two weeks that Harry was mad at her because it seemed like the day and a half she was living through seemed much longer. 

They hadn’t spoken since their reunion that turned into an argument, leading to Harry being disappointed in her…yet again. 

Her anxiety was sky-rocketing; perhaps, that may be because she’d messed up twice already, so her thoughts had been on edge as they told her that this was the end—that he was done with her shit. She held so much love for him that she hoped that he didn’t see it as the end of the road—Luci didn’t know if she could handle that heartbreak, even though she was the one who caused him some pains and aches. 

He doesn’t deserve that, he never did. 

You don’t deserve him, her subconscious told her. Rolling her eyes to herself, she tried to push the negative thoughts out of her mind as they were driving like it was a race track, making her head hurt. The knock on her door had taken her out of her own head. 

When she swung the door open, Harry was standing on the other side. He gave her a small smile—not the smile that he usually greeted her with, which she awfully missed very much, but it was a smile that was shown because he didn’t want to make it clear that he was disappointed. 

“Hi, H.” Luci greeted softly. 

“Hey, uh, are you busy?” 

She shook her head. “No, I’ve got time for you.” Her words didn’t mean to come out in a flirty way, rather she meant them well and clearly. 

“Okay. Do you wanna go to our spot?” He asked hesitantly. Harry had to encourage himself to even knock on her door, and he hated how tentative he was; that’s your girlfriend, for fuck sake, he had told himself. 

“Yeah, of course. Let me just get my things.” Luci was always up for a trip to Coney Island; the spot that they made theirs. The spot that held so many memories and the most significant memory that beach held was the start of their love for one another. 

Sure, it wasn’t the best idea to visit the beach during the wintertime, but neither of them cared enough to think about the temperature or if the soft grainy sand was covered in snow; they just needed to be in that specific place with one another. 

The ride there was a quiet one—not so much peaceful as their minds were running haywire, but they’d managed to get to the cold beach without saying a word. They simply fell into an in sync step, walking side by side as their glove covered hands were stuffed inside of their own coat pockets for extra warmth when Luci would usually hold his hand inside of his pocket and cuddle up against each other as they walked through the cold. 

Settling on the familiar spot on the snow covered sand, they stood a foot apart with their arms crossed as they watched the ocean crash onto the shore. Warmth radiated off their bodies due to the tension and nerves that coursed through their veins, which suddenly made the cold bearable as they stood next to each other. The only thing that was heard was the sound of nature, the sound of Mother Earth’s specialties that had surrounded them into a bubble of stillness. The silence was deafening. 

Luci loathed the tension-filled silence; it definitely wasn’t her favorite thing when it came to her relationship with Harry. She had approximately three moments with him that included nerves filling her body; when she was in Singapore and told him that she didn’t feel like talking to him; the unfortunate event on her birthday that was entirely her fault; and the event that they’re going through now, yet again, her fault. She tried her very best to never get that certain feeling again, but she felt like a failure in doing so. And the only way they were going to fix it was by getting vulnerable, getting real; she’d felt like she did a very poor job with communicating on her end, and she was going to try to fix it. 

“Someone had once told me that I was unlovable,” she started. “They said those words right to my face, and you could imagine how shocked I looked when they said them. They’d told me that the reason why I wasn’t in a real relationship all my life was because no one wanted me; they didn’t even look twice when I walked past them. No one was interested in me.” 

She sighed, looking at Harry from her peripheral vision, and he still had his sight facing the water, but she knew that he was listening intently. 

“And that’s hard coming from a family that was filled with so much love and respect for one another. It was a different reality than what I was used to. My parents make it seem so easy to love me, even though I’m a pain in their ass, but they never really complained about all my wants. When that person told me the harsh reality, I pushed people away. Whoever got close. Even when people had asked me out and seemed like they were interested in me throughout the years, I pushed them away and rejected them because I didn’t want to endure the pain that was inevitable.” 

Turning her body towards him, she was shaking from the cold but also the ability to be vulnerable in front of her boyfriend for almost a year. 

“Harry…” she called out softly. He looked at her, completely facing Luci. “I’m sorry for everything. I truly am. I’m sorry for pushing you away, and for not being here enough. I’m sorry for taking your kindness for granted and for making you doubt my love for you. You don’t deserve any heartache, and I promise, I’m still trying. I’m still new to this relationship stuff, so please be patient. I will spend forever trying and trying, trying to make you happy.” 

Her words almost made a sob rip out of his mouth, but he contained his emotions well. Luci was cold, pouring out apologies and begging her for his forgiveness; she was new to vulnerability. 

“I know I made a mistake—several of them—but I’m trying. If you…don’t want to be with me, then that’s understandable; I won’t blame you because, yeah, I haven’t been that great of a girlfriend to you and you deserve so, so much better; and I am sorry I couldn’t be that person to make you happy.” Her voice trailed off, cracking. Harry’s heart nearly broke at the sound of her voice as he tried to contain his emotions. “But miraculously, if you decide to forgive me, then we could work everything out. We’ll still grow and learn new things about each other, and it’ll be good from there, right?” 

The sound of hope in her voice rang in his ears, and he couldn’t dare to listen to the heartbreak if he were to call it quits, which was a shock to hear her say that because she must’ve thought he was ending it for good; that thought made him sad. An abrupt flashback pounded in his brain as he remembered the happy memories they had with one another. A simpler time before the rain. 

Just last year, they were in this exact same spot, watching the sun go down with one another in their arms. But as of now, they were standing a foot apart from each other, instead of sharing a kiss at how their relationship had made it through an entire year of ups and downs; they were unsure of their next move. 

They had kept one another warm in the cold weather that breezed through them, but now, it seemed colder than usual. The air had wrapped its coldness around them, engulfing them into a hug. 

Why didn’t the sun setting come with a warning sign to let them know what kind of storm was coming for them? It felt like their worlds had washed away into a whirlwind of displeasurable emotions; one they’d hoped they were strong enough to break through the storm. 

Quite early in their relationship, they knew their relationship was going to be something special; they knew it was going to be one that was worth all the pain they’ve endured in the past; they knew it was the long haul that would last. The one obvious question that had run through their head like it was plastered on the big screen and written on the whiteboard was: how did everything go downhill so quickly? 

He loved Luci with his entire heart. Sure, she’d made a few mistakes, but who hasn’t? They still had some issues to work out, such as communication and trust aspects of their relationship. But he wasn’t ready to let her go, and he really wasn’t planning on it. So, he said: 

“We're gonna work this out.” 

that’s the end of book one! 

please come and talk to me about your favorite scenes and moments, and your thoughts and feelings! thank you so much for reading <3 book two will be posted soon! 

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles ff #harry styles fic #harry styles x oc #harry styles series #harry styles writing #harry styles au #boyfriend!harry #teacher!harry #actress!oc

[granills]

Careless Whisper {B.H.}

Hey loves, I haven’t written in a loooong time, It seems I just needed a new crush to get back to writing. I missed this feeling so much. So, Billy Hargrove, that’s it. I haven’t finished the 3rd season yet and I felt like writing about this pretty boy. In my story Billy has graduated from school by the time he arrives to Hawkins, and Bob is alive. I posted the first chapter on my wattpad too, nigarrmtvseries.

1. Mars and Other Planets

It didn't take long for summer to show itself after the first hot day in June.

Mars looked out of the window only to find some people loudly talking to each other and hurrying to get back to their homes where they were awaited. A man standing near the curb didn't care much about the heating sun, he was focused on the road. Waiting.

"So hot.. Right when I was thinking about going for a jog." A young woman approached the desk Mars was sitting behind. Mars had gotten carried away with her thoughts, but seeing the woman, smiled to her and started helping her to pack the things she'd picked. Refrigerator magnets, soaps, milk.

"It's officially summer I would say." Mars was working alone today in the store. Joyce asked for a day out to spend more time with her kids and Bob, and Donald only visited from time to time so Melvald's General Store had only one company - Maristela. It was a good day, mostly because of the sun. It calmed her and it also predicted that less people would come to the store, it only made her work easier. Not like the first time.

Joyce Byers was the one who persuaded Donald Melvald to employ a girl in Hawkins, Maristela Crawford who was looking for a summer job. At first Donald disagreed arguing that the girl would leave as soon as summer ends and they would have to look for a replacement. At least that's how Maristela's plan was going until that one day when she received a letter. She knew the letter wouldn't tell her good news and it made it much harder for her.

"We regret to inform you that after reviewing your application..." That's how the letter started and it was bad, she knew it. "...we appreciate that you are interested in our university. Please do apply again next year." Shit. To get out of this shithole by getting accepted into the university in California - that was the plan. As much as she hated to admit it, it seemed the summer job was gonna turn into a permanent job, but to say that she didn't like her job, would be unfair towards her and others. She loved Joyce as her own mother and though the work was tiresome, it was essential one.

It was nearly the end of the day, she was ready to turn the lights off and close the store as soon as possible in order to get home. That's how simple it was, only she didn't know what was about to happen.

She clearly remembered how the last client left as the door behind him closed muffling the sound of the happy kids outside. But it only lasted a few seconds when the glass front door shut loudly accompanying by the voice of two strangers.

"I told you to fucking wait in the car!" The sound was so loud that Mars nearly hit her head while picking up her bag under the desk.

"Mom said I can choose myself!" A girl's voice replied as they headed towards the center aisle. Mars wanted to see who was talking but they only got more distant and she couldn't leave her desk.

The first voice mumbled something in reply. His voice was low, a bit vibrating. If Mars leaned over further the desk, she could've just fallen over it. As much as she tried to see the strangers, she gave up eventually and returned to her seat. All of a sudden she heard the voices were coming closer and looked up. The stranger was standing there comfortably looking at the lights, his appearance was screaming danger. That was only it, danger, but what she didn't know was that something was about to happen that wouldn't have ended good.

The next thing she knew the loud tap of black boots echoed in the store as he approached the desk Mars was sitting behind. Looking at him, he looked just like many of his peers: jeans, a denim jacket, a brown bag, for some reason making her doubt that he carries around his textbooks or homework, a digital watch on his right hand.

He was tall, probably 7 inches taller than her. Heels under his boots helped him look even taller as he walked towards her. His unruly blonde hair perfectly framed his face, the soft curls fell in cinnamon swirls to his face slightly reaching his shoulders. It wasn't long though, part of his hair in front nearly reached his brows in soft messy waves. But still it managed to look completely natural as if he'd woken up like this.

The tops of his jeans held fast by a black leather belt. A pair of rings on his left hand didn't stay unnoticed, as well as a pack of Marlboro cigarettes stuffed into the left pocket of his jacket.

She couldn't see his eyes because of his black sunglasses, it added more confidence to his appearance which was apparently what he'd aimed for. She was scared of him, he just looked like the sort of person who would have asked you for a date and didn't show up. Heartbreaker.

She noticed his silver hoop earring when he stood in front of the desk, his eyes under sunglasses met hers and focused on her for a brief moment before he put a pair of batteries, six pack of beer on the counter. The other stranger whom Mars noticed later appeared to be a school girl with ginger hair, she put the sweets next to other things.

Then, in a second, the tension in the store broke when he finally spoke to her.

"That will be all." He uttered and she was surprised how deep his voice was. If earlier she'd assumed he could be her age, now it seemed she could be pretty wrong. She couldn't recognise the accent, and they could, moreover, be new in this small town. What really puzzled her was the obvious tension between the redhead girl and the guy. Siblings maybe, but they don't look alike.

Mars put down her bag and only nodded before starting to bag their items.

"That will be eleven-twenty one." Mars said, her voice slightly trembling. She didn't notice how he looked at her while putting money on the counter between them. She took it and opened the cash register beside her, the one that Joyce had opened many times, and started counting money to return the change.

The stranger looked at her, corners of his lips turned up, a glint in his eyes. "Keep the change." He said before taking the bag and going to the exit. The redhead girl annoyingly rolled her eyes and went after him.

Mars followed them with her gaze, she noticed how the stranger got in his '79 blue Camaro and lit his cigarette, the smoke dragged into the air and disappeared as he started the car moving over the highway, lights on full beam. And a dangerous driver too.

It was time for Mars to close the store already, but first she wanted to clean up so that Joyce wouldn't get tired the next day. And it's not like she was keen on getting back home, every day seemed the same. She only had her friend and neighbour, Nancy Wheeler, and Rose Jagger, her friend from childhood. They tried to meet often as long as the work allowed, which meant only on weekends, but even then Mars would sometimes work long hours on weekend to make ends meet.

It was a boring job. Especially for a girl who just graduated from school. Most of her peers started working as interns, but that wasn't for her. She thought she'd be better if she continued her studies at the university, away from this town. But dreams don't get along with plans always. In order to get into the university, she needed money, that she understood now.

The list of her tasks wasn't that long. With Joyce's help she managed to do everything: to assist customers, manage the shelves, keep the store clean, operate cash register, take inventory, stock, restock and all the other things that were shifted to their shoulders.

She quickly checked the shelves, making sure products were where they were meant to be, moving them in their original place, as kids would often mess things up. After being done with the floor and the counter, she looked around the clean store and finally sighed in relief. She went back to the counter and started packing her things into her bag, already anticipating how Joyce would be happy to see the work she's done here. For Mars, Joyce was such a sweetheart and she would do anything for her, just like for her mother.

Mars opened the drawer to take the keys, when suddenly the soft sound of steps at the entrance made her look up from her seat.

She looked up, and her breath seemed to stutter in her lungs before she let it go.

The blonde guy with the denim jacket stood in front of the entrance and made a step forward. He stood in front of her, comfortably as if he was at his own house. He had no longer his black sunglasses making it easier for her to focus on his icy blue eyes. And he was alone this time. She couldn't chase away the same thoughts that had gone through her mind earlier. Heartbreaker. Also new thoughts replaced previous ones, she couldn't tell what it was, if his eyes hinted about it, as if he carried all the pain in the world, his blue eyes told about a lifetime of struggle that could never been put into words. He looked like the person who would rather hurt than being hurt.

"I'll have a pack of Marlboro Reds," he simply said. "Please."

Mars raised her eyebrows in surprise. She clearly remembered how one pack of them was hanging in his breast pocket when he'd walked in earlier. Moreover, she just wiped the floors clean and he made it dirty again by walking over it with his boots. The store was closed.

Or it wasn't. Mars regretted not putting the "closed" sign after cleaning the store and got mad even more.

"Can I see your license?" She simply asked, just in the same tone he talked to her.

The blonde stranger only chuckled clearly loving the situation. He reached to his back pocket and took out the license. He held it between his two fingers showing Mars as she leaned over to check his age only to find out that he was the same age as her. William Hargrove.

Mars moved her eyes towards his face and then turned around to open the drawer with cigarettes. She searched the packs behind her longer, not wanting to meet his eyes again, that much he intimidated her.

She then turned back and put the right pack in front of him. He gave her an unreadable glance leaning a bit into the counter. "Can I hear your name? Since you know mine."

She had to meet his baby blues again after his question. He put the money on the counter and took one cigarette out of the pack. Not wasting time, he lighted the cigarette and slowly brought it to his lips, his eyes never leaving hers.

"It's Maristela."

"What are you now a goddess or something?" He chuckled.

The name was unique, she agreed. "A star, to be precise. It means "Star of the Sea"."

"Hm." He smoked and Mars just kept staring at him, only seconds later she realised that he was literally smoking in the store and she'd allowed it by not saying anything. It was against the rules.

"No smo-," she recoiled as though she'd woken up from a bad dream when he cut her off, not letting her finish.

"Mars it is then," he said quietly before turning around and heading to the exit.

]]

I hope you like the first chapter, please let me know what you think. MMmuah

2. Ice Creams, Dreams

#billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy stranger things #stranger things #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove #fanfic #dacre montgomery #billy hargrove fanfic #careless whisper #stranger things imagine #dacre montgomery imagine #billy hargrove x female reader #billy hargrove x oc

[shadowed-dancer]

Hehehehehe I made a prediction about MHA Season 5

So the synopsis for episode 102 has been revealed and manga readers are super confused because whoops we skipped an entire arc, but I think I figured out what they’re going to do and I wanted to share it incase I end up being right.

Keep in mind, all of these are just predictions

Manga spoilers under the cut

Update June 24: The title for episode 103 got leaked and it seems to be from Endeavour Agency so this whole post is probably wrong, but I’ll keep it as it was because damn did I think I was onto something. Hopefully someone out there will find my overconfidence amusing lol

This original post was written June 18, and was updated June 19

Alright so the synopsis for episode 102 is this...

And based on that description, we know that it will start at chapter 243 (where Deku goes to see his mom for New Years), and will likely extend to 244 and 245 (both chapters feature Endeavour going after that villain). BUT here’s where things get fancy.

Chapters 243, 244, and 245 all show the after effects of MVA, so I bet they’re going to cut those scenes out. This means half of the episode is going to be focused on Endeavour and the trio...

... until Hawks shows up basically out of nowhere. He’ll recommend his book to Endeavour, and at the end of the episode Endeavour will decipher the secret message. The episode will end on the cliffhanger of “what the heck did the villains do?!” and then the next episode (103) will start MVA framed as a flashback. It will basically be a “mystery” unpacking Hawks’ message, where we get to see how the villains managed to amass such power.

At the end of MVA, we will get the scenes that were cut from 243, 244, and 245. Essentially, all villain scenes will be tacked onto the end of the MVA arc, eventually leading to the point where Hawks gives Endeavour the book (adding new context to a previously seen scene, which is one of my favourite tropes). This will then lead into the rest of Endeavour Agency, with Endeavour training the kids in one episode, and the Todoroki Family dinner in the last episode.

This little set up would allot 9 episodes to MVA, which is honestly perfect. You can check out my previous prediction post if you want to see a breakdown of how that could work, but it’s outdated now because we now know what episode 102 will look like. Either way, it shows that MVA can easily fit into 9 episodes, even if the chapter distribution is not exactly as I predicted.

So what proof do I have that this shuffling and chapter-splicing may occur? Well, obviously nothing explicit, but I do have some interesting context hints that support me...

Between episodes 102 and 103, there is going to be a break because there’s no episode on July 3 (some other program is airing). In the past, MHA has done similar breaks between massive arc shifts (season 2 from Sports Fest to Stain, and season 3 from Hideout Raid to License Exam). It would be interesting if this season followed suit since, according to my prediction, MVA would start directly after the break.

As well, we have the movie coming out August 6. The movie HAS to take place just after Endeavour Agency because we see a ton of kids with their work-study mentors, but it also has to be before the War Arc because we see a hero in the trailer who is... not active after the war.

So yeah, the movie comes out in August and the studio probably assumed it would be helpful for people to know that the kids are doing work-studies again. Episodes 101 and 102 would provide just enough context for the movie to make sense.

Anyways that’s my theory. If they did something like that I think it could actually be really cool, and it would provide a super intriguing mystery for fans who don’t read the manga.

Tl;dr I predict they’ll split Endeavour Agency by putting MVA in the middle, framed as a flashback

Update from June 19th: Episode 101 just came out and there were MVA crumbs which makes me believe I’m on the right track. It seems to be hinting that the series will create a mystery build up of “how did it get this bad?” and I can’t wait!

That being said, the preview for 102 showed Hawks talking to Slidin’ Go, so it’s possible the episode won't actually cut the villain scenes like I thought they would, but they may still attempt at keeping things semi mysterious.

Check out this scene from the trailer compared to it’s manga inspiration from chapter 245. In the manga, the villain are clearly highlighted against the dark background, but in the anime they are completely shrouded in darkness. The clearest one is Toga, and you can sort of make out Twice and Dabi if you squint. I bet this scene is going to be a sort of cliffhanger leave us wondering who EXACTLY Hawks is talking to, and why. This would be a pretty good point to launch into MVA.

Thanks for reading!

#bnha #my villain academia #bnha prediciton #bnha season 5 #bnha season five #mha season 5 #mha season five #tomura shigaraki #dabi #bnha spinner #himiko toga #mr compress

[jadeile-writes]

Fanfic Progress Update 123

Hey, people, it’s update time! This time there’s a bit of news on Bushwa as well, as rare at that is. Stay tuned for a spoilery glimpse into the next chapter of Adventure Gone Mini at the end of the post.

Current WIPs:

Adventure gone Mini

Fandom: Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild / The Minish Cap

Summary: Sidon is given his very own Sheikah Slate, the first replica Purah has managed to make, and sets out to travel with Link with the intention of registering warp points for convenient travel in the future. However, when a malfunction shrinks them down to the size of bugs, and they meet little people called the Minish, they have to change their plans from “fun adventuring” to “getting out of this mess”. Not that those two have to exclude one another. Link/Sidon.

Progress: Chapter 53 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 30th of June. Chapter 54 is 1/3 done, and the scheduled posting date is 21st of July.

I post a new chapter every three weeks on Wednesdays, except when I don’t manage to and move it by a week. These updates always include a sneak-peek for the next chapter, slowly getting longer over the three (or four) weeks’ waiting period.

—–

Hah! Our afterlife is the most hilarious bushwa, dearest

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel

Summary: This is not a stand-alone story! This is a oneshot/drabble collection in the universe as “Shit, the Radio Demon is a part of my afterlife”. Read the main story before bothering with this one.

I decided to give my readers a chance to throw Radiohusk prompts at me, and had the Afterlife-verse as an option to set the stories in. Everyone liked that, so this fic is now a thing. Enjoy the extra mischief from these two dorks!

Progress: Chapter 28 is the current latest chapter and was posted on 27th of November. Chapter 29 is technically written, but I'll need to look it over to see if I want to tweak it before I can call it done. The scheduled posting date is Some Friday, and there will be a sneak-peek on the Previous Thursday. Chapter 30 is half-done as well!

Note to new people who might be looking at this: I’m not taking prompts anymore. These will be the last chapters, and then the fic will be done.

—–  

Other WIPs I’m not currently working on but intend to get back to someday:

PoE Drabbles (Pillars of Eternity)

DC Drabbles (Justice League)

Diaphanous Relations (Forgotten Realms, R.A. Salvatore’s books)

Revalink chapter fic (Zelda BotW)

A bunch of Hazbin oneshots and chapter fics, some started, some just on the idea phase. There’s… there’s a lot…

—–

That’s it for the WIPs! Here’s the promised sneak-peek into Adventure gone Mini (Note: the text may end up slightly different in the fic itself due to more editing happening before publishing). Enjoy!

Mini

"Drop your weapons and surrender or else your friend gets it!" a Vaatian shouted at Link, Sidon held at swordpoint. All the while the other enemies were approaching him slowly, deliberately giving him time to choose his action rather than force him to fight.

—–  

That’s it this time. See you next Saturday!

Links:

My AO3   My FFnet   My Ko-fi    Radiohusk Discord Group invitation

#Fanfic progress update

[crazy-loca-blog]

Personal thoughts on… 2020 releases (Part I)

Note: As the title says, these are just personal opinions on Choices books and chapters. Of course, you may agree or disagree with them, I only use this platform to express my thoughts on what I read every week.

So, I did this in 2019 and I had a blast doing it (you can see Part I, Part II, Part III and the Seasonal Books reviews), so I thought about repeating the experience because… why not? Of course, I had planned to post this during the holidays but my job barely let me some free time to eat and sleep. Better later than never, I guess.

In 2019, we read over 30 books and it was the busiest year for Pixelberry in terms of releases so far. During 2020, things changed A LOT. We didn’t have as many releases and the stories seemed to have a new focus, especially the romance ones. We said “goodbye” to the wedding books and welcomed some 30 diamond scenes that were at a whole new level. We also had many hiatuses and some books were so long that it seemed like we spent the whole year reading them.

This will be a three-part post and I will include current releases and books that were released during 2019 but were finished in 2020. The list is organized in alphabetical order, and it doesn’t include the VIP Books (as I’ll talk about them in a fourth post). The only books I will be skipping will be Desire & Decorum: First Winter and Bloodbound: Dark Solstice, as they’re seasonal books that I fully covered in the 2019 review.

America's Most Eligible: Wedding Edition (September 18, 2019 - January 22, 2020):  As a person who really enjoyed the first AME book, I already thought it was unnecessary to have a second book. I mean… reality shows are repetitive, so why would we have two books that were exactly the same? Little did I know this series was so popular that we ended up having a third book with a wedding after dating our LI for like two months (because we did need another one last wedding book, right?). There were too many things that didn’t make sense to me. My MC never had a good relationship with Slater, so having him as part of my wedding party was annoying, I would have preferred to have Teagan on my side. Also, despite the fact that we finally got to know Ivy’s background and why she was so evil throughout the series, competing against her (and Vince) all over again was exhausting… I would have definitely preferred a normal wedding diary show or something like that. And last but not least, the fact that Jen was working on the show while being a competitor was so… I don’t think this is actually possible in a real TV show. But the award to the weirdest moment goes to what happened to those people who left their LI’s at the altar and married Bianca or Slater instead. Yeah, because after that super heartbreaking moment, Jen takes the MC, Adam, Derek and Mackenzie to the producer's room to watch some “never seen before” footage about their friendship throughout the series…. because of course… there is nothing weird about seeing your ex there, right after dumping them in the middle of the wedding. This series was good enough to deserve a way more decent ending. Baby Bump, Book 1 (December 9, 2019 - March 16, 2020): My overall impression about this book is “meh”. Even though a lot of people complained about how the pregnancy was shown, I think the writers did a pretty decent job. The experience is different for every woman, so I think that criticizing the focus the writers decided to give to our MC’s experience is just pointless and saying “it’s not realistic” is a little unfair. The same thing applies to the baby. A lot of people complained saying that the baby was “too big”. Guess what guys… that isn’t the actual baby, that’s just the cover of the book… if you buy the “baby basket”, you’ll get the right baby size throughout the story. As a personal opinion, I think the story has some good things (I really like the fact that it shows how hard is for pregnant women to get and to keep a job, even though the fact that the MC hid her pregnancy is very unprofessional, to say the least) but there are some things that make me feel uncomfortable. First of all… our gang. I like the characters as individuals, but when I look at them as a gang, the only thing that Luisa, Myles and Clint have in common is the MC… I don’t know what they’d talk about if they were in a room without her. There is also this very personal POV on dating Myles… I mean… maybe it’s just me, but it is kind of uncomfortable to see Myles dating a pregnant woman who actually got pregnant after a one night stand with the other guy in our gang (or with the only guy in the gang, if your Myles is a female). Baby Bump, Book 2 (November 20, 2020 - present): Well, if you collected every single piece of the blanket in Baby Bump Book 1, you already had little glimpses about this book. Our very pregnant woman not only discovered that she’s having twins, but she also has some new duties at the city hall. And even though there are some things about this book that still don’t convince me, I can see the efforts to make some improvements in the story. The fact that the plot is not only focused on the MC and her pregnancy, but also on Clint’s family issues, Myles’ reelection and the park not only are introducing us to new characters, but they’re also giving us plenty of material to make the story more dynamic and not only focused on one topic. I also like how the writers have been managing Cassandra’s arc of redemption. Despite her being the antagonist in the first book, you can tell she’s grown a lot as a character, to the point that she is willing to help our MC not because of her reputation, but because she genuinely seems to care. I don’t know if I expect a big plot twist coming in the next few chapters (and if it does, I guess it will be related to the MC’s health and the babies delivered earlier than expected) but even if it doesn’t, I can already tell this book is better than the first one. Blades Of Light And Shadow, Book 1 (January 29, 2020 - June 3, 2020): There is no doubt (at least not for me) that this was the best new release of 2020. We had been waiting for a new adventure book for a really long time, and PB delivered. Not only we had this super wide range of MCs to choose from, we had a book where our choices actually mattered. Because yes, you can buy every single diamond scene in this story and still, if you don’t make the right choices at the right moments, you won’t get all the skills at the end of it. And that’s probably what seduces me the most about this book. The characters in our gang are also very well written. Each one of them has a very different personality, they all have these very different backgrounds and burdens, but they still complement each other perfectly when it comes to work as a team. Now if I have to be completely honest about the plot, it took me a while to get into it, but I want to think it’s because I’m not very familiar with this type of stories, because it’s very clear that there aren’t any writing problems in it. However, if I have to criticize one thing, it has to be some people’s reaction: because yes, it seems like some people didn’t get the memo that this wasn’t a romance book and I must admit it disappointed me a little to see that most of the discussions were focused in the romance part instead of talking about the adventure itself. Bloodbound, Book 3 (November 9, 2019 - March 28, 2020): Last year, I already mentioned how happy I was with this book, especially because most of the times, the third book in a series is not as popular as the previous ones. We sometimes have that problem of writers dragging plots because they have nothing new to add and us, the readers, struggling to finish the story (because of course, after reading 2 books, no one gives up on reading the third one). Well, I still think this book is nothing but impressive. As a person who’s not into vampires at all, I can safely say this is the book that I enjoyed the most in the series. Even though I didn’t feel huge changes in our LIs, I loved the evolution of our MC when compared to the first book (her character development itself deserves a whole post) and even though there were some things that seemed predictable, there were some others that were completely unexpected. If I had to change something, I’d say we deserved two endings, the one that we had and a darker one, I think PB truly missed an opportunity there. But overall, I think the story came full circle. This is definitely one of my favorite releases in 2020. Distant Shores (April 3, 2020 - July 17, 2020): This book gives me all the “Nighbound” vibes. That is, it is a good story, it is well written, the plot is attractive and overall it was well received by the fandom; however, that’s not enough for it to get a second book (or in PB’s words, “it’s not as popular and profitable as we think”). I personally enjoyed the story, but I didn’t fall in love with it. My biggest complaint is that I kept constantly waiting for some HUGE plot twist, I did need that “I didn’t see that coming” moment to blow our minds… but that never happened and I ended up feeling that PB wasted a story that could have shown us one adventure after another and turned it into something “plain”. Also, even though we had a badass MC, three awesome LIs and an amazing crew, by the time I pressed the “End book” button, I felt I had more questions than answers… and I absolutely hate it when that happens. We never got a chance to know anything about Robert’s story, his background and how he managed to survive and go back and forth between the past and the present. Or we never knew what made him and our MC so special and why the compass helped them to time travel. I can definitely see the potential for a second (and even a third) book, it’s sad to know it won’t be happening.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #americas most eligible #americas most eligible 3 #americas most eligible 2 #ame #baby bump #baby bump 2 #babu #blades of light and shadow #blades #bolas #BloodBound #bloodbound 3 #Distant Shores

[artificialqueens]

The Parent Trap, Chapter 9 (Biadore) - Henny

A/N: Thank you for the comments, Hennies! Y’all are making me feel like Ariel in the beginning of Little Mermaid 2 :> I missed all of you too! Sorry if there was a problem with the formatting of the previous chapter; completely my fault!

OH, and if you’re confused with the timeline, I’ll simplify it for you:

RPDR Season 6 (filming) ended around Mid-July of 2013 (assuming it takes about a year or so before it is released). January 2014; Roy and Danny started dating. 6 months after that, June 2014, a month after Bianca wins, they get married. A year later, the couple gets baby fever, so they start looking for the perfect surrogate and egg donor. This is where I deflect a bit from the prologue, it takes them until May 2016 to conceive.

TLDR; the fic takes place July 2026, and RPDR is currently airing S19 with THE AS:BoTW filming the very same year . If I had said anything contrary to those stated above, disregard it. This is the new timeline I’m going to follow going forward.

All the love, Hennies!

XOXO, Henny

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Well, would you be interested in joining the first All-Stars: Battle of the Winners in place of Bianca?”

The way Adore gaped at her phone was almost comedic, mouth opening and closing like a fish. In some way, she’s almost flattered at the fact that Ru called personally instead of a producer. It’s almost very considerate, since the man knew what had gone between Danny and Roy.

“Well, last time I checked, you didn’t crown me, Mama…” Adore adds a teasing tone to her voice, and tries to ignore the nerves that seemed to resurface at the idea of returning back to the competition. It’s been many years since Season 6, and Adore has genuinely forgotten how it feels to be on a platform like that again. Focusing on her music as both Adore and Danny has shifted the focus of her career as a drag queen and performer; and with many seasons passed, she knew her charm has run dry with Drag Race fans.

Ru laughs, the iconic shrill making Adore spiral back into the werkroom. “I didn’t, didn’t I?” He laughs again, and Adore can only imagine him wiping a fake tear. “But, I am planning to release the footage of you and Bianca winning to prove that my decision to invite you has some bearing, at the least.”

Adore inwardly groans again, remembering the night of the finale wherein they filmed the ending of her and Bianca winning together. She feels the ghost of Bianca’s hands squeezing her own as they waved and the sparkly confetti rains and glitters of lights from cameras blinded their eyes; applause and cheers roaring in their ears.

“What will the other queens say? The winners, I mean. It’s not like they’ll consider me a winner, especially the newer queens.” Ever the anxious person that she is, she finds a brush to fiddle with to lessen her anxiety.

“My competition, my rules. Whatever I say goes, Baby. They can say whatever they want, but if they’re smart enough, they’ll pipe up. And, besides…” Ru trails off excitedly, like they were sharing a secret. “Since this is only a Netflix special, I’m only doing the first decade season winners. I’m sure they’ll be nicer to you than recent ones.“

“All of them said yes?”

“All, but one, you already know…”

“Yeah, yeah…”

“So, what do you say?”

“I- I don’t know, Ru. I’ll think about it…”

“Of course, let the producers know soon, alright? Filming starts October! Toodles!”

The call ends, and it takes everything in Adore’s willpower not to throw it to the wall. She looks at her phone’s lock screen and sees the beaming face of Portia, and she manages to calm down. She stands up, grabs a pre-rolled joint in her makeup kit, and heads out of the building after shouting to the manager to inform him about her whereabouts. She normally didn’t do this anymore; smoking, hard liquor, and even hooking up with trades that come her way. Portia had completely turned her life around, and so did Roy and Nerissa. “Fuck,” Tears fill her eyes again at the thought of her daughter who she no longer knew, she sniffles as she takes a long drag of her joint and breathing out harshly.

A tall figure looms over her, and with a tap on her shoulder, she nearly doubled over in fear. “What the fuckkk…” She groans, clutching her heart.

“Oh, sorry… Didn’t mean to scare you.” Adore looks up to meet the steel eyes of a blonde stud with a smug smile on his face.

“Shit, I know you…” Adore murmurs in thought, before she remembers “You’re Brooke, right?”

“Brooke Lynn Hytes, yeah.” He flashes her a beautiful, gorgeous smile, pearly whites and all. “…But right now, uhh,” He looks down to his jeans and plain gray shirt, “You can call me, Brock.”

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“Okay, give me another one.” Portia looks at her cards, one five of hearts and the other six of spades. It was really late and they just finished washing the dishes of the entire camp after dinner. Not tired from their post-cry-emotional nap earlier, they had decided to play a game of Blackjack. Nerissa deals her another card, and picks one for herself. Portia peaks at the new card, and sees her nine of spades. She joins the cards together, and places them down in triumph.

“20, let’s see yours, Haylock.”

Nerissa drops her cards, a jack of diamonds, two of clubs, and nine of clubs. “Blackjack, bitchh…” She taunts, laughing at Portia’s dismayed face.

“That’s not fucking fair…” Portia drawls, “That’s your 9th time winning, I think you’re cheating…”

“Oh, please. You just play your cards wrong, and sometimes, I’m just really lucky…” Nerissa beams as she watches Portia fix the cards and put it back in their case, murmuring “I don’t want to play anymore.”

“It’s getting pretty late, too. I think we should go to bed.” Nerissa yawns as she grabs her blanket and tries to settle herself in. Portia agrees before standing up to lock their door; to make sure the windows are tightly shut; and to turn off the light. The moon shines at its brightest, a cool silver light shimmers through their window.

“I know it’s late, but I’m not even remotely sleepy.” Portia comments despite the yawn the escapes her.

“Same here,” Nerissa says with droopy eyes.

“Tell me, what’s Bianca like? No… noo…What’s dad like?” Portia asks, adjusting herself so she faces her sister. The mere idea of having a sister and having Roy Haylock AKA Bianca Del Rio, THE Bianca Del Rio is possibly 50% her dad makes her more giddy than anything in the world.

“Dad is probably the most workaholic person you’ll ever meet. He’ll make time for you, yes. But, you can tell that 75% of his mind is just…” Nerissa sighs, “exhausted, if not thinking about work… He really tries though, he hasn’t missed any of my ballet recitals yet nor any PTAs. He’s as active as a busy parent can be.”

“That’s good, I guess…” A hum of agreement, another yawn.

“And not to mention, the free dresses.” She giggles, “How ‘bout our other dad?” Nerissa turns to lie on her back, thinking about her dad who she hasn’t updated in awhile, even though she promised to do so everyday. A sudden urge to hug her dad courses through her body, and subtle pout forms at her lips at the thought of Roy. She missed her dad, she’s still upset about the whole not-telling-her-she-was-a-twin-thing, but she missed him nonetheless.

“He’s pretty chill. I can do anything I want,”

“Wow.”

“Yeah, my dad’s pretty cool. We have the kind of relationship where I can tell him things and… he can tell me things. He’s my best friend, so we just have fun most of the time.” Portia says with mere awe. “But, it wasn’t always like that. There was a time though where he was pretty down in the dumps; he didn’t really have the best mental health back then and his coping mechanism–”

“Hey, this seems kinda personal. You don’t have to tell me this, okay? Only if you’re comfortable doing so.” Nerissa says, her arm crossing its way to pat Portia’s tummy to stop her thought.

“No, no… You’re my sister, and I trust you enough.”

“Okay, if you’re sure… So you were saying?

“Yeah, so, he didn’t have the best coping mechanism. Alcohol is tricky when it gets out of hand. I didn’t mind at first, because I didn’t think it was that bad. I didn’t notice the signs because I was so young. It was only one incident, really, when I understood the gravity of it all. Around June, he nearly drank himself to death. I don’t know why he drank severely that night, but I just found him passed out on his own–” Portia chokes as tears start up with the memory of seeing her dad then. “I was only four then, Riz. I didn’t know what death was, but the minute I saw him– It just rationalized so quickly in my head. I called 911 as fast as I could. I didn’t know what I was saying half the time ‘cuz I was just crying.”

Nerissa places a comforting hand on Portia’s arm as the girl tries to fight the sniffles. When Portia manages to barely win against the tears, she continues, “When we were in the hospital, I was with my Grandma and there was another man, I– I don’t know who, from what I can remember– we didn’t know if my dad was gonna make it.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, Porsche.”

“No, no… It’s fine. Just sucks to remember it. But, he managed to pull through, obviously. He hasn’t drank alcohol in years. So, I’m really proud of him, especially in his line of work, it must be so hard.”

“Yeah, as his 50%-chance daughter and for what it’s worth, I’m proud of him, too. “

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

When Courtney heard the rumors going around backstage that night, she had about ten shots of tequila before coming to the conclusion that she wouldn’t tell Roy. But, funny how alcohol works out.

“Yanxxxxx” Courtney drawls out on her phone that she’s struggling to hold up to her ear. But the effort was there. She has absolutely no idea where she is as she presses her warm cheek to the cold faux leather seat of a couch.

“Bitch, did you really just– What?” Roy rolls his eyes as he looks at his phone that hosts Courtney’s current call and the said-blonde on his couch, drooling and staring off into space.

“I gotta–” hiccup “tell you a ssssecret.” Courtney angles her phone to her mouth, so she’s directly speaking to the phone’s microphone. Roy walks over to the drunk girl, grabs her phone and throws it in her purse. He ends the call on his phone before slipping to the kitchen, grabbing a towel and soaking it with cold water. He gives it a good squeeze to remove the excess water before going back to Courtney and placing the towel on her forehead.

“You’re so lucky Riz isn’t here or I would’ve left your drunk ass in the club.” He mutters in annoyance, even though everyone knew he wouldn’t really do that. He could never let anything happen to any of his loved ones, and god knows Riz has seen Courtney or Shane pissed drunk since she was a toddler.

“No,” Courtney says abruptly, hand swatting away Roy’s hand. “Nooooo…” She continues to drawl. “The secret is Ado…” She leans in close, way too close. Roy gets a harsh flashback and hastily pushes Courtney away. With the push, Courtney plops on her back and passes out entirely. Roy sighs, both in frustration and exhaustion. He wouldn’t bother removing Courtney’s makeup, but he did give her the courtesy of removing her wig and cap, as well as unlacing her corset. It all feels familiar to him, taking care of someone and helping them de-drag, except of course, back then he had to strip Bianca off himself and help Danny remove his clothes which then would lead to…

Roy shakes his mind, trying to get rid of the idea before it escalated. He leaves the guest bedroom and makes his way to the kitchen for a glass of wine. He’s just going to pretend he doesn’t know that Courtney was about to say something about Adore as he starts up a design for Rupaul on the granite kitchen counter.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

“I can’t believe Biadore was ACTUALLY a thing.”

“How can you not? The tension was so obvious, especially during that one part where Adore said she didn’t want to work with Bianca? The sexual tension was just–” Nerissa fans herself before she receives a slight smack and push on her shoulder.

“Dude, you’re so fucking weird. I don’t wanna think about my dad’s sex life OR YOURS!!”

“I’m just telling the truth! The stare was intense.” Nerissa breaks into a fit of giggles at Portia’s face of slight disgust at the idea. “And speaking of, did your dad date anyone again?” Nerissa asks.

“Never anyone serious enough to introduce to me, no. He’d go on dates, sometimes Adore would go on dates. But, yeah. He never really seemed interested in dating anymore, so he put all his attention to me or his and Adore’s music.”

“Do you call Adore “mom”?”

“No, that’s weird!” Portia snorts, “My dad is, well, my dad. He has his own quirks and personality. And, Adore, to me, is just a whole different person. I can’t explain it. Like, I know he’s Adore Delano through and through. But, my mind just sees Adore like a whole different person.” Portia rolls again to her back, so she’s facing the ceiling like her sister. “How about your dad? Did he date anyone?”

“You know what’s weird? I don’t think he ever did, not even dating or flirting with anyone else. He’s always been so closed off to anyone who showed any particular interest.” Nerissa twiddles with her thumb, before scrunching her nose in distaste. “I mean, in some way, I get it. He’s scared to love again. Uncle Shane always said so. I wish I knew why though.”

Portia hums, thoughtfully. Another pregnant pause looms over their conversation. It has gone on for so long that for a moment Nerissa thought Portia was asleep, until…

“I AM SUCH A FUCKING GENIUS!”

PREVIOUS CHAPTERS:

Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight |

#rpdr fanfiction #biadore #bianca del rio #adore delano #courtney act #parent trap au #parenting au #canon compliant #the parent trap #henny #tw mentions of alcoholism