#the plot was borderline incomprehensible but like in a good way | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

columboscreens · 2 years

Note

Thoughts on Revival!Columbro?

okay anon you asked for it--my big boy post

so first and foremost the thing about columbo is that while good columbo is outstanding tv, even bad columbo is still watchable tv. there are exceptions like the universally-detested no time to die, in which nobody even dies (presumably due to lack of time)...

this episode is only good for daniel davis, dan butler, and seeing columbo dance like an animal crossing character in a tux. with an unfortunate dye job no less

...but usually at worst they're just Fine. it's more that the OG series sets the bar so high that you can't help but feel disappointed with the newer episodes. columbo at its zenith contains so many excellent moving parts that the modern episodes feel cheaper, including, probably most upsettingly, falk's performances. sometimes they ring true to our old boy and sometimes they're...pretty phoned in.

that isn't to say that there are no stellar revival columbos! columbo goes to college, rest in peace mrs. columbo, columbo cries wolf, all in the game, amongst others all fall under the scope of (mostly) respectable reboot outings.

now i'm biased because 2003 is still fresh in my mind and it's fun to see columbo in the world that i remember best, but i'm a pretty big fan of columbo loves the nightlife. it's in many ways a final return to 70s form--a little kooky, but rooted in more quiet drama vs the weird screwball tone the 90s was after. also i'm not subjected to swells of cheesy music or a forced THIS OLD MAN motif every three minutes which is a massive plus.

plus he does a ton of bizarre old man shit and it's wonderful

that said, as mentioned in the post linked above, there are many valid reasons to enjoy a latter-day columbo that don't relate to the quality of the episode. yes we know the plot is godawful. yes norm from cheers is a terrible murderer. yes all these minor characters are awful and wooden and this writing is wretched and oh my god whose idea was it to make every musical cue this old fucking man

and yet you still just want to see columbo himself in new situations, which was always like half the joy of the show anyway. we want to see him solve crimes but also maybe fish a rat out of a dumpster or wear crazy pants. you never know

both of these episodes are at the bottom of the heap but worth watching for...well. whatever this is.

so...why is the latter series a nadir for columbo? for lots of reasons, but one i would most culpably peg to falk himself--his egregious flanderization of columbo. between that, the wacky 90s scores, the odious gags, and the cartoonish characters, the new series is borderline a kid's show.

columbo at his truest is a silly little guy with a sense of humor. he doesn't take himself too seriously, but takes his work deathly so. the result is a generally sweet, affable, yet relatively straightforward and subdued disposition. this fine characterization, along with the superb casting around him, made him seem living and breathing, grounded in our world.

reboot columbo is not. he is much of the time a shell, a caricature of his old self. not columbo, merely trying to be. it's my understanding that falk got bored of playing columbo the same way all the time, but the new approaches he tried were more miss than hit. a certain gravitas was lost. his face locked in an infuriating Perma-Squint, he mumbles something incomprehensible, picks up a tuba, and then floats into the sky. he is no longer on the murderer's nerves. he is on yours.

this scene isn't even bad in concept, i would've killed to see 70s columbo whipping out the high school band kid skills. it's just done so cheesily that i can feel my blood pressure rise when i look at it

the old series sort of very lightly paws at the prospect of the paranormal without forcing it. it's interesting, it's thought-provoking. maybe he is just a really sharp guy, but maybe he's got a sixth sense, who knows! lieutenant how did you get into my car

in the new series, columbo at times makes these insane assumptions which dissolves that sense of "chase" and verisimilitude that made the OG series so good. original columbo is sharp and will do everything it takes to catch you. he starts from square one and makes deductions, his conclusions and means to the end seem logical and practical, albeit at times "extra".

neo-columbo knows you did it just by smelling you and shows up in your living room at 3 am cross-legged on a levitating magic carpet with his eyes aglow humming ancient druidic chants

(now that i've described that i kinda wish that were true)

anyway that's what's lost in the newer series, the whole kernel of what makes columbo good--being grounded in some element of reality, respecting the viewer's intelligence, and leaving them to fill in their own blanks as the credits roll.

there were lots of directions in which they could've taken the character in old age. but going from "rambly guy who skillfully pantomimes being a space cadet" to "actual cartoon character who does little but squint and hammily bumble around"--especially when he starts growing old enough to make that less endearing and more concerning--not only doesn't work, it feels like an insult to the character they'd carefully crafted. at the risk of sounding melodramatic, you're almost left with a sense of betrayal.

sorry sir. it's terribly bright in here...

only slightly subordinate to the poor characterization is the writing quality. or lack thereof, that is; between budget constraints, catering to a different crowd, and general dip in quality in american TV, you have some scripts that are irredeemable. the NBC columbo staff treated each episode like a carefully-crafted film and ABC treated each one like a wednesday night sitcom. it shows. instead of holding onto the high production quality that made the show great, they made it like any other middling, budget tv movie series of its time, at times (mid 90s especially) veering into hallmark movie territory.

originally, levinson and link themselves would come up with story ideas, clues, and "gotcha"s, and then forward those ideas to talented writers like steven bochco, peter fischer, et al. to churn out new scripts. in the newer series, they'd recycle old cutting room floor scraps, use old, rejected scripts, and option other mystery/procedural plots into which they'd shoehorn columbo (ed mcbain's 87th precinct birthed two of the most horrendous of them--no time to die and undercover).

what sick fuck asked for this. who ever wanted to see geriatric columbo get sucker kicked in the face. bye

i could say even more but this post is already entirely too long-winded. i guess i'll give an honorable mention to falk's second wife, shera danese, who i consider an underrated thorn in this show's side. her columbo performances are distractingly bad. despite this, he kept nepotistically sticking her in every other episode which wears very thin very quickly. it's the cherry on top.

anyway tl;dr latter-day columbo is generally cheesy and flanderized but not always. it sometimes even pulls off a win, harking back to the glory days of yore. it's still worth a watch (or a skim at least), and there are always things to enjoy about it. even undercover is worth a peep, if only for tyne daly, harrison page, and...this.

lookin good, king

#columbo #text #longpost #ask #reboot

84 notes · View notes

kurtskrow · 3 years

Text

⠀ ⠀ ⠀𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗘𝗪𝗢𝗥𝗞𝗦

⠀ ⠀ ⠀> Tap for better quality

⠀ ⠀ ⠀> Episode: Hope Falls

- Like I promised in my last post. I’d say why I have a love hate relationship with this episode. So yeah.

Another thing I love about this episode is that we get to learn more about Frank, and we get to see that Scott does indeed have a heart, and that he does learn from his mistakes. For those who don't know, at the beginning of the show. Scott is supposed to be seen as a stone cold stoner who just likes getting high, and has no heart. But past episode 3, we get to learn Scott does have a heart. This episode, Hope Falls, shows us that he does have a heart, and feels bad.

When Scott learns about Franks son, and that Franks son overdosed and died. When Frank says. "I never got to say goodbye." You can see how hurt Scott is. He looks down at the ground, speechless, he feels some sort of guilt, then looks back at Frank to listen to him.

This episode shows you that even though the Cliff Hangers are fucked in the head, they still have a moral compass, they still have pride, and honor. Even though they've seen and experienced things a child should never go through, they still have some sort of direction. Even Scott, the most fucked up (mentally) he still has something, he still has his moral compass. That is something I admire.

We learn that everyone in Horizon at one point has problems. Even the teachers and counselors have problems. Frank, the head master, the principle, even he has problems. He couldn't save his son, and he has some sort of guilt because his son, Tommy I believe, couldn't be saved.

Another thing I love about this episode. This may sound fucked up. But I love how there is this kid who OD's, and tries to off himself by overdosing. I absolutely LOVE this. Not because he tried to off himself, but rather because of how real it is. Often times when kids are sent off to a ranch, such as Horizon, so they can get better. Instead of wanting to get better, they try to off themselves. This is the most real part of Higher Ground. The fact that kids will always try to off themselves.

This kid doesn't wanna be at Horizon, not to mention he hates his home, his life, and most importantly, himself. Due to this, he tries to off himself at the ranch. A ranch where nobody knows him, a ranch he knows damn well where nobody will miss him, so he tries to off himself.

I like that, it's so realistic, I just- man, I love it so much. Not to mention the kid looks like a Chinese knock-off of Scott.

Another part I liked was when Scott at the end apologizes to the kids mother, he clearly doesn't know what to say. But, you can tell he does feel bad for her, so he apologizes to her. It's a little detail of Scott that I like. Shows you, he does have a good heart deep down.

Also the way Scott rejects Shelby is just chefs kiss.

I love how Scott chops wood at the wood station. Later in the season it’s basically established that chopping wood is something Scott just does. The guy is always chopping wood. In episode 8- it’s like 5AM, and this boy is over here finding some wood to chop. It’s great. He just owns the wood station and I love it.

Now for the stuff I didn't like:

SHELBY. I hate Shelby in this episode. I like her most of the times cause she does a great job at being a special bitchy bitch. But my GOD was she incomprehensible. She tries so hard to hook up with Scott to the point where it is just unbearable to watch.

Now I'm not a smart man myself but believe me when I say, I understand what "no, I don't wanna hook up with you." means. And for some reason, Shelby doesn't understand what, "you're a skank." means.

The most memorable thing about Shelby in this episode, is her purposefully provoking Scott because he tells her, "I quit smoking." Shelby gets pissed at Scott, because he says, "I quit smoking." And it is BEYOND retarded. She literally goes up to his face and is like. "Oh yeah? Well when I lived in the streets you took what you could."

As someone who raised in a ghetto ass area. Yes, in the streets or the hood, you would take whatever you could get, but, you had the opportunity to say no. Nobody forced me to do meth, heroin, cocaine, none of that shit when I was in California. They would offer it yeah, but they wouldn't force it upon me. When I would reject, they'd leave me alone, they wouldn't pressure me for shit. So the fact that Shelby says this, is so stupid to me, because if you say no, TRUST ME, they will leave you alone. Trainspotting is a great movie that displays this. None of the drug addicts force their non-druggie friend to do drugs. In fact, it was all his choice to do drugs. Which is exactly what happens 8 times out of 10.

People always act like most drug dealers will pressure you into taking drugs, or smoking, when the reality is, they won't. They really won't. You say no, to your druggie friends, or to a drug dealer, they will leave you alone. You know how I know this? Because every time I rejected an offer to do some sort of drug, they would leave me alone right after. So Shelby saying this, IS STUPID beyond belief.

Another thing I hate, is how Shelby doesn't understand the words, "No." because she borderline harasses Scott from episode 1-9. She never leaves him alone. She's always like. "Scott, I want your dick."

Scott goes. "Uh... no thanks."

Shelby proceeds to get mad. And it's so stupid. Yes, Scott said no, too bad. He doesn't want you, move on. BUT SHE DOESN'T. She doesn't move on, she continues and continues and continues, even though he says no multiple times. Scott even acknowledges that Shelby is no good for him, he basically tells her. "You're no good for me, Juliette is better, she's loyal, she loves me, and I love her." But Shelby pursues him, she still tries to make him cheat on Juliette.

I hate this so much. He said no. HE LITERALLY TELLS HER NO, and for some reason, she STILL tries to get him to cheat on Juliette. I hate it so much. But Scott, our loyal boyo, rejects her every time.

And so, Shelby, tries her best to make Scott doubt Juliette. What sucks is that she succeeds because she says. "Auggie was all up in Juliette's pants." This works, and Scott starts doubting his relationship with Juliette and it sucks ass, because, she was also loyal to Scott and was very healthy for him, but whatever I guess. I don't fuckin know.

Another thing I hate about this episode is Isaac's mother. Her acting is just deplorable. It's atrocious, it is genuinely hard to watch her acting. It's awful. It is downright awful. It is hard to watch, it really is. I'm not kidding. So, that is one thing I despise about this episode.

The other thing I hate, is I DON'T KNOW IF SCOTT IS DATING JULIETTE. This is the one fucking problem with Juliette and Scott. It is never established when these two officially started going out. Yes, in Episode 2, Juliette gently pecks Scott's lips, and it makes him shy, and that's it. That's literally it. You don't ACTUALLY know that's when they started going out, but that's when it's established they had a thing for each other.

Shelby talks about how Scott only has Juliette but- you're still confused if they're dating or not. You're always left assuming. "Are these two dating? Or are they actually friends with benefits?" I've watched this show 37 times now, and I STILL for the life of me, do not know when Scott and Juliette started dating. And this episode, doesn't help in the slightest.

Instead, this episode makes you assume that they started going out in the episode prior, but in the episode prior, they weren't really talking, so in this episode, you are assuming they are a thing, but you still don't know beCAUSE, IT ISN'T. FUCKING. ESTABLISHED.

Yes, Scott did fight Auggie because Auggie kissed Juliette. But if you loved a girl, and some other fuck came in, and kissed the girl you loved, you would be pissed and tell them fuck off cause you want that girl and you don't want competition.

You know when they break up but you don't know when they officially started dating, and it sucks ass cheeks.

My rating for this episode: 8/10.

8 because the plot is good. But, 1.5 is taken away due to Shelby, and the other .5 is because of all the other stuff. That's it, bye.

#icons #higher ground #higher ground hayden christensen #higher ground icons #hayden christensen #hayden christensen icons #scott barringer icons #scott barringer #higher ground scott icons #higher ground scott barringer icons #2000 higher ground icons #2000 higher ground

82 notes · View notes

iamthemaestro · 3 years

Text

I‘m still in the throes of my Secret History phase so I feel the need to address something that not everybody seems to interpret, which takes away from their appreciation of the book. I’ve heard a good amount of The Secret History slander, it being described as “obnoxious” and unrealistic, and while I can understand these viewpoints, I don’t feel that they’re being processed correctly by the people who use them to insult the book. Rather, I essentially agree with their analyses—the plot is absolutely wild and at times baffling, the characters incredibly pretentious and privileged, and overall not terribly realistic—but this is part of the whole point. What stands out to me about this piece of writing is that it is not only a novel, but an experience (which is a very pretentious sounding sentiment in itself, but let me explain): I hope I can say that many people felt the same way I did when I was reading the book for the first time, in that I was utterly and completely infatuated with it. I devoured it—I was so enthralled with its intoxicating, perfect aesthetics, both within the content itself and in Tartt’s beautiful prose, that I found myself just barely processing what was happening plot-wise. Obviously, it’s not something I ignored completely, but what I’m saying is that in my infatuation with the aesthetic and the feeling of the book itself, the plot became just another part of that blind infatuation.

Where I mean to go with this is that when you read The Secret History and find yourself as caught up in it as I did, you become Richard (and this is only further intensified by Richard’s virtually nonexistent personality). I was reading it not for the plot, but for that “morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs.” And it is only when I stepped away from it and decided to reread it that I was even remotely able to process what any of it actually meant—I admit I read the book for the first time and loved it without realizing what it even truly was, just because I was so entranced with it. An entrancement, we find, that Richard shares with regards to the Greek class.

These characters are highly exaggerated, almost to the point of becoming caricatures. Henry, the slightly sociopathic and fundamentally incomprehensible genius. Francis, alluring and aloof, with a strangely cultivated and almost exotic charm. They are so romanticized by Richard, through the eyes of whom we view the story, that we can barely register their flaws in the process of devouring the book. Poor, lonely Richard, the unreliable narrator, who has almost no sense of identity to the extent where his past becomes almost entirely fabricated in ways he can’t even remember, sees these people and wants desperately to know them, to be like them, to be them. And so do we. We see everything through his eyes. In this sense, the characters become distorted and unreal, borderline satirical for the actual purposes of the novel.

What I feel is often overlooked is that this book is not intended to be realistic—it is a depiction of things becoming romanticized and distorted to a confused, young, identity-less student, with whom many of us can more or less identify with, whether we realize it or not. In reading the book through his perspective, we experience this first hand. It is obnoxious and unrealistic because it’s virtually delusional, and the sheer ridiculousness of the book highlights Richard’s—and in some ways, our own—instability, his desperate need to belong, the lack of coherence he has when he finally finds a group of people who like him and embody who he wants to be. He is willing to do anything in order to become like them, to fit in, to escape from himself (or rather, his lack of self). All he sees is heavily romanticized, and he is so entranced by it that he cannot process its true nature and whether it is wrong or right.

So yes, the characters are obnoxious and unrealistic, specifically because they are not intended to represent good people or good ideologies. They are the delusions of a lost kid who wants to become something. I think what a lot of people try to criticize the book for is that it’s full of terrible people—and it is. The book is not supposed to argue that they aren’t, but rather to provide the perspective of someone so lost in life that he got entirely swept away by them. We, as readers, should take a step back from both the romanticized and the morally condemnable nature of the characters and events and acknowledge why they are romanticized and why they aren’t right—that, in my opinion, is why this book is so important, why it is so fascinatingly crafted, and why it is so frequently misunderstood.

#if you read this thank you and I’m sorry #leave it to me to literally write a 5-paragraph essay about tsh #I know I’m being pretentious please don’t kill me #tsh #the secret history #dark academia #books #writing #mine #loooong post I’m sorry

29 notes · View notes

veliseraptor · 3 years

Note

Hi, lise....now that you finished 'Word of Honor', do you enjoy it overall? What do you think of the characters and the plot?

okay, first off I want to say that I really enjoyed it and I am going to watch it again, because I feel like the rest of this answer is going to come off sounding a lot more critical. so I want to make that clear first.

it’s just always going to be easier for me to articulate things I don’t like about something than things I do. unfortunate.

first of all: I do genuinely and sincerely and completely love the villain4villain thing that wen kexing and zhou zishu have got going on. it is amazing. and I love that they’re both...people with dark and ugly sides to them, sort of at various points along the path of “not evil anymore want to be loved now” (and wen kexing bouncing back to “evil again” a few times. it’s hard! and he’s also just. very sexy when he’s being ghost valley master mode/murder mode in general.)

I love their dynamic, too, where they’re so playful. they tease each other, they joke, and it’s a pleasure especially to watch zhou zishu emerge from his depression over the course of the show, getting drawn out a little at a time, so you see more and more of his sense of humor and his smiles. he has a very cute smile, it’s good.

also: love gu xiang, she captured my heart pretty much right off the bat and never lost it. love how capable she was, love her struggling to figure out her humanity, love her relationship with wen kexing (especially that! so much!) and also her relationship with all the ladies of ghost valley. love all the ladies in general - this was a show with a lot of really cool women in it who were dynamic and interesting and, most excitingly in my opinion, had relationships with each other.

on the other hand, did not love that almost all of them died, bar one, and also was not a fan of gu xiang and cao weining’s romance, even though I did find cao weining endearing at times (and the way it was built as a clear parallel to wen kexing and zhou zishu was very nicely done. love those heterosexual proxies.)

(although like. wow. they really just...went for it, didn’t they.)

on the other hand, I found the plot...frankly borderline incomprehensible for much of the show, and I’m still not sure I get it overall. it was very macguffin, as many people have noted, and just...I was having a very hard time tracking everything. it is likely that things will make more sense on rewatch, but I personally found the plot of this one harder to follow than the plot of cql, and less compelling. I was definitely in this one for the relationship(s) and not the plot otherwise.

I also...I don’t know if this is an ~unpopular opinion~ or what, but I was not a huge fan of the reveal that wen kexing and zhou zishu had met before? I see why they did it, but I would’ve preferred if they’d been strangers prior to meeting at this point in their lives where they were both...at turning points in their (career) paths. I found that more compelling and was a little disappointed by that particular decision (which I understand is a departure from the novel).

the pacing of the last five episodes...definitely suffered, which I am given to understand is probably an effect of their number of episodes getting cut, but still impacted the viewing experience.

and of course I have not mentioned xie’er yet, or the scorpion squad in general, which is very remiss of me. love them. love them very much. love the relationship between da pusa and xie wang, but of course - of course - love even more the deeply, deeply fucked up relationship between xie’er and zhao jing. like. boy is that a mess and boy am I here for it.

(also just like. the way that xie’er lights up when he gets praised for something? adorable. I’m a sucker for characters who will casually kill people like it’s nothing and then get very “!!!!!” when people are happy with them.)

I feel like I have not mentioned chengling and that is because overall he did not make much of an impression on me. I liked him, and I definitely felt bad for him (boy does everyone keep fucking dying on this kid), but I didn’t have any particular emotional attachment.

ye baiyi was also amazing. especially every time he and wen kexing were in the same room together. so, so good. thanks for that, everyone.

I guess to sum up...I feel like this was a show where I liked a lot of elements and I really liked the main relationship, but there were a lot of the surrounding trappings that frustrated me and I didn’t find the overarching plot terribly compelling, which combined with the rushed feeling ending left me feeling...dissatisfied overall, I guess.

like I said, I’m going to rewatch, and I really, really loved a lot of pieces of it! particularly wen kexing, xie’er, and everything about wen kexing and zhou zishu’s dynamic and the way they played off each other.

(also, hoo boy, lots of quality whump material in there. that was nice.)

there were just some places where it felt like it fell a little short of what I wanted from it.

#word of honor blogging #boy that got long #anonymous #conversating

36 notes · View notes

venmomejoy · 4 years

Text

The Lucky Ones- pt. 3

ugh writing is so hard sometimes why do i do it

hope you guys are liking the fic so far! feel free to drop any comments, i love hearing from you all :)

part one / part two / part four

read it on AO3 here !!

The studio was huge.

Neil expected it to be big, but this was incomprehensible. It would take him days to map this place out. It made Neil nervous; his mother always took care to keep them away from large buildings- there are too many places for someone to hide in a big space, too many nooks and crannies he might not know about where someone could lurk. Smaller places were far easier, where you could check the entire space for attackers in a matter of minutes, where no one can sneak up on you, or catch you by surprise. He tried to absorb as much of the layout as possible, retracing every turn they've taken until the building starts to take form in his head, vague and nondescript as it may be.

Neil couldn't figure out how to hold onto his bag without raising any more suspicion than he already had in the car, so when Dan showed him to his trailer, he took care to hide it in the safest place he could find. Given, that was the cupboard underneath the bathroom sink, so Neil didn't exactly feel secure in his location of choice. He made sure to lock the door on his way out, but the thin metal sticks in his bag reminded him that locks can easily be picked. He was reluctant to leave when Dan beckoned him on, deciding they had spent time enough on the trailer and that they needed to move on if they wanted to see the whole studio before midnight, but he relented before anyone could notice his hesitance. Throughout the whole tour, every set and editing room and lounge, Neil felt the faint thrum of anxiety never leaving his skin, even as he focused on all the new information he was receiving.

The tour took more than a few hours, Dan and Matt talking extensively on every area they stopped at. Seth and Allison hadn't acknowledged Neil much, besides the casual glares Seth threw at him, too wrapped up in each other. Renee had the occasional soft-spoken comment, but for the most part left the talking to Dan and Matt. Neil appreciated all of the tips, a mix of things he already knew and things he made sure to store for when they began filming, but the influx of information was a little overwhelming. Throughout it all, a thought kept pressing his way to the front of his mind- his mother would be so disappointed in him.

Not just disappointed. No, she would be livid. She dedicated her entire life to keeping him safe, and he had thrown it all away. In all their years on the run, she had always put his safety first, had always made the hard decisions to keep him protected. Even when she was fatally shot, she kept pushing for his sake, not even letting on how grave her injury was until they had gotten to safety. But by then, it was too late. And all of the promises he had made her as she took her last breaths, all of the promises he had made to himself as he threw a match in the old car and watched it burn into ashes, taking her body with it, were destroyed. She had given up her life to keep him safe, and he answered her sacrifice with disrespect, practically spurning the freedom she fought so hard to give him.

Neil could feel his throat closing in. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he panted, willing his hands to stop shaking. Neil quickly excused himself as he rushed to the restroom, but not before he saw the concerned faces of his castmates. He would have to deal with their prying questions later, but right now all he could think about was his mother, how she would hate him, how he couldn't breath-

Neil braced his knees on either side of the toilet as soon as the stall closed behind him, the restroom blissfully empty. His stomach heaved, but he couldn't throw up food he never ate, so Neil sat and heaved and gasped until his heart stopped racing, until his breathing became even again. He didn't have time to panic. Panic left you vulnerable, and wasted precious minutes. So he pulled himself up and rinsed his mouth out in the sink, even though no bile had come up, expertly avoiding his reflection in the mirror.

When he left the bathroom he walked straight into his castmates, almost bumping directly into Matt's chest. It looked as if he had interrupted their deliberation session on whether to come in and check on him. He's glad they didn't. He doesn't need his new coworkers to see him like that after knowing him for one day. Neil pulls on his calm and collected face, though he's sure the remnants of his breakdown are still visible. Let them come to their own conclusion about what went on in there.

"Neil, are you okay, man?" Matt asked, the concern on his face mirrored by all the others, excluding Seth. But it wasn't just concern- there was pity there too. Neil didn't know how much Wymack had shared with them of the little he knew himself, but if his backstory was set in context to this, he was making a sorry first impression.

"I'm fine. Sorry for stopping up the tour." Whether they believe him or not, he can't tell, but his hard face leaves no room for inquiry.

"Don't apologize, Neil," Renee says. Neil's stomach turns at her saccharine tone.

"This was the last stop anyways. We can head home now, if you're ready," Dan notes, a look of understanding on her face. He almost laughs. There's no possible way she could understand.

"Sure, I just need to get my stuff from my trailer."

The group goes back the way they came, with significantly less talking this time, and the others wait patiently while Neil retrieves his bag, his trailer mercifully untouched.

The trip to the parking lot was filled with excited chatter, his castmates telling him about how excited they were for their character's plot this season, which couples they thought would make it to the end of the season and which would hit the chopping block, old scandals amongst the crew. Neil tried to contribute when he could, but the conversation seemed to go largely over his head, so he was content just to listen.

Matt addressed him after a while. "So, Neil, you've met the Monsters?" When Neil tilted his head in confusion at the name, he clarified. "Andrew, Nicky, Kevin, and Aaron. We call their group the Monsters, because those four are tyrants."

"Oh." After years of running from people who want him dead, Neil thought he had a pretty good radar for people that are threatening. He could understand the name for the twins, but Nicky didn't seem the aggressive type at all, and Kevin while seemed like a hardass, but he would probably roll over at the first sign of real conflict. "Yeah, I talked to them a little. Kevin and Andrew came with Wymack to pick me up, and I spoke with Nicky and Aaron for a few minutes right before I met you guys."

It was Allison who spoke up this time, the first real thing she'd said to Neil all day. "What a way to start your first job. You're scrappy-looking, but I'm still surprised that group didn't run you straight out the door."

Matt was inclined to agree. "Yeah, if I'd met Andrew on my first day, I never would have started acting. I have a good amount of experience and he still makes me question my career choice every day."

"Kevin, too," Dan says. "He's not as outwardly aggressive as Andrew, but with how hard he pushes us? I don't think I would have lasted a day if it was my first."

Renee glanced back over at him. "They're not that bad, Neil, don't let them scare you."

He was tempted to ask her if he looked scared to her. Andrew didn't frighten him, definitely not as much as he probably should. He knew Andrew's medication made him a little crazy, if not borderline psychotic. Andrew's medication was court-mandated, a sentence that, coupled with extensive therapy, allowed him to avoid jail time after he had almost beat four men to death when he caught them attacking Nicky. Neil knew Andrew probably had no qualms about hurting him, but he had far larger threats to worry about, and he had always had a hard time reconciling threat level with age. Even if he knew a younger man was dangerous, he didn't feel very frightened because he had been so conditioned to fear older men, like his father. In the same way, even obviously harmless middle-aged men put Neil's every muscle on edge.

They reconvened with Andrew's group as they made their way to the row of cars. "So, what did you think of our humble abode?" Nicky asks.

"It's huge."

"Yeah, it's easy to get lost in there for the first couple of weeks, but eventually you'll know this place like the back of your hand. We spend too much time here not to."

Neil looks back over at the building, wondering how long it would take for him to feel comfortable here. He was inclined to believe he never would. Glancing back, Neil catches Andrew's heavy gaze. Gone was the sarcastic humor and thinly veiled contempt, replaced with... nothing. Andrew wasn't glaring at Neil, but the look definitely wasn't friendly; he was just staring. Andrew's face was empty, void of any emotion at all. He must be coming down.

Without a word, Andrew turns and pulls himself into the driver's seat of an expensive black car. Turning towards the group, Neil asks, "Are we going to the cast house?"

"Yeah, it's only about a ten minute drive from here. Perfect for when your dead-tired leaving set at 4 am." Matt says. "You came with Wymack?"

"Yeah. Does he stay there too?"

They all chuckle a little. "God, no," Matt says. "He'd kill us if he had to spend that much time with us. He has his own place, but it's pretty close by."

"Oh, okay." That lifted a weight off of Neil's shoulders. He would never be able to relax if he was under the same roof as Wymack.

A honk draws their attention back to Andrew, the rest of the monsters going to join him in the car. When Neil just looks at Andrew through the windshield, he cocks an eyebrow at him silent demand. Neil knew better than to protest. "I guess I'll see you guys in a few?"

Matt and Dan both sent him disapproving looks. "Are you sure? There's space in Matt's truck," Dan says, sending a searching look towards the Andrew's car, as if she were trying to figure out why they were interested in Neil. He wouldn't mind knowing himself.

"I already told them I'd go with them. It'll be fine."

Matt shrugged. "Whatever you say, man. But that group is psycho. If they go too far, just let me know. I have no problem with kicking Kevin's ass if you need me to." He smiles warmly at him.

Neil shoots him a puzzled stare. Matt just met him, why would he be offering to stand up for him? He has no attachment to Neil. "I'll be fine. I can take care of myself."

Matt looks unconvinced. "Okay, well, the offer still stands as long as you're here, alright?"

"Okay." Neil inclines his head at the two before stalking over to Andrew's car, sliding into the backseat next to Aaron and Nicky. Andrew peels out of the lot before Neil can even buckle his seatbelt.

Kevin and Nicky fill the short car ride with idle conversation, asking Neil about what he saw in the tour and what he thought of the sets. Nicky shares all kinds of stories from when they shot the earlier seasons when Kevin begins speaking in rapid French to someone over the phone. Neil was competent in French, but not fluent, and Kevin was speaking too fast for Neil to understand anything, so he focused on what Nicky was saying instead. Neil didn't mind Nicky dominating the conversation; he didn't have much to say anyway, and he was feeling tired after spending so many hours wandering around the studio

As Andrew swung the car into the driveway, Neil admired the house from the his window. It was huge, at least three stories, with sweeping windows and a spacious lawn; the porch alone was the size of some of Neil's old homes. The blend of brick and stone made the house feel classy and elegant. Neil's gawking was cut off as Andrew drove into the garage. Nicky practically pulled him out of the car, insisting on giving him a tour of the place. The door from the garage opens into a small hallway, with a break that leads to a laundry room before opening up into the kitchen. Kevin and Aaron follow them, but Andrew disappeared somewhere along the way. "Where did Andrew go?"

"He went to dose up," Kevin answers. "If he didn't take his medication soon, he'd be bent over a toilet somewhere."

"He'll be up in the clouds when he comes back," Nicky says, a little sadly. "That's the cycle: mania and apathy."

Neil didn't know what to say, so he turned back towards the kitchen, running his fingers along the marble countertops. Nicky's phone pinged, and he glanced at it before addressing them. "Matt says their going to pick up dinner. Chinese okay with you, Neil?"

He nods, and Nicky quickly types his response before pulling a smile on again, resuming Neil's tour. The inside of the house was as luxurious as the outside, fit with plush carpet and expensive-looking paintings. The lower level seems to have an open floor plan, the living and dining rooms visible from the kitchen. A large flatscreen TV sat across from a red couch that could easily seat five people. Two armchairs bracketed the couch, a plethora of throw pillows adorning all three. The extravagance made Neil uneasy; this much money just poured into fanciful items... he couldn't fathom it. There had never been time for him to buy anything for himself. They had limited resources, his mother always reminded him. They could not afford to buy things they didn't absolutely need.

"There are two bedrooms on the bottom floor. This one's Kevin's," Nicky said, pointing between two closed doors, "and the other is shared by Renee and Allison."

"Allison doesn't stay with Seth?"

"It's like Matt said earlier, those two are really on-again, off-again. When they fight, they can't even stand to look at each other, let alone sleep next to each other. They argue so often we thought it'd be easiest to just give them separate rooms, so Allison stays with Renee when she's on the rocks with Seth, and when they're doing well, she stays with him."

Neil's head already hurt trying to understand their dynamic. "Sounds complicated."

"Just wait until you see it for yourself. Their screaming matches are legendary." Nicky chuckles.

The four of them go up the first flight of stairs, which opens into a large sitting room, two twin hallways branching from it. Down one is Nicky and Aaron's shared room, and down the other is Seth's, as well as Dan and Matt's room. Fans of The Foxes loved Dan and Matt's relationship. The two met on set during season one, Matt playing Dan's love interest, and their romance quickly evolved off-screen.

"We tried to put the two couples as far away from the rest of us as possible," Nicky informs him.

"Not far enough," Aaron grumbles. "I don't know how it's possible for Allison and Seth to be that fucking loud."

"Oh, come on, Aaron, no tolerance for young love? I'm sure Neil knows how to make a girl scream," Nicky jokes, nudging Neil's shoulder.

Neil froze. "What?" There's no way they know who his father is, now way they meant it like that-

"Unless you swing, like me, which is totally cool. Makes my job easier, anyhow." Nicky winks at him.

Aaron groans. "Jesus, Nicky, can you not be a fucking creep for one second?"

"Hey, I didn't do anything! I'm just saying that if Neil was interested-"

"He just got here, and you have a boyfriend."

"You know Erik doesn't mind-"

This conversation was giving Neil a headache. "I don't swing."

"Damnit, you like girls?"

"I don't like anything. Can we keep moving?"

They grudgingly obliged. The layout of the third floor was pretty similar to that of the second, a large lounge opening into two hallways. One held Andrew's room, the other his. Nicky led him down Andrew's hallway, showing him to space, the door firmly closed. But as they turned to move towards his room, the door swung open, a doped-up Andrew standing on the threshold.

"Oh, joy, my favorite people coming to pay me a visit! Sorry, but I'm not in the mood. Do stop by another time!" Andrew grins.

"Sorry, Andrew, I was just showing Neil around. We're heading to his room next."

"Lucky for you, I know exactly where that is! If I cared more, perhaps I'd take you there. Unfortunately, I don't." Andrew threw his head back in laughter, pushing past them as he bounds downstairs. One look at the others' face and Neil can tell this behavior is commonplace.

Neil follows Nicky into the opposite hallway, Kevin keeping pace with them while Aaron hangs behind. Kevin had been abnormally quiet during this tour; Neil felt like he was gauging his reaction to everything, trying to feel him out. He refused to balk under his scrutiny.

Nicky paused dramatically with his hand on the doorknob, as if bracing them all for a great reveal, which was just a bedroom. Admittedly, it was easily the nicest bedroom he'd ever laid eyes on, but he imagined the others were used to the luxury by now.

Neil's eyes widened as he took in the huge space, the deep wood of the four-poster bed, the dresser that was far too large for the eight outfits he owned. A door opened to an en suite bathroom with a walk-in shower. It was the nicest place Neil had stayed in his entire life.

"It's good that you are the only addition to the main cast this season, since this was the last free bedroom we have. If there were any others, they'd have to stay in the pool house." Nicky joked. A quick peek from his window confirmed that, yes, there was a pool, clear blue water glinting in the setting sun. It was large, surrounded by lounge chairs and what looked to be a volleyball pit off the side.

"How do you guys afford this place?" He had been concerned about wasting his resources on housing before, but this was worse than he imagined. The house had to be millions of dollars, especially considering Los Angeles's real estate prices. He could not afford to spend this much money, since he still had a lifetime on the run to finance after his stay here.

Kevin finally spoke up. "You'd be surprised how large a salary is for a core actor on a show this popular."

"How much do we all pay for rent?"

"None," Nicky laughed. "Allison is practically an heiress. She has so much money it's stupid. She bought the house back when we first started the show, and she pays for the whole place."

Neil tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing. "Why would she do that?"

"Because she has money to blow, so why not?" Nicky's smile faded a little as he took in Neil’s expression.

Kevin interrupted their conversation. "Dan and the others should be back soon. Let's head to the living room to wait for them."

They found Andrew on the couch, mindlessly surfing through channels, his focus anywhere but on the TV. When he saw them approaching, he tossed the remote unceremoniously onto the cushion next to him. "Back so soon?" Andrew gibes. "There's nothing good to watch, but it seems the universe has answered my plea for entertainment! Neil, tell me some of your deep, dark secrets."

Neil was tired of Andrew's taunting. "Leave me alone, Andrew."

"Oh, come on, Neil, don't be such a downer! Tell me, which one of your parents hits you, your mom or your dad?

"Christ, Andrew," Nicky groans.

"Could be both, I suppose," Andrew surmised. Neil simply fixed him with a glare, but Andrew was unfazed. "Your old director mentioned that you liked to wait until everyone left the theater to change out of your costume, said that a lot of times he gave you the keys and let you lock up. He thought you might be sleeping there. I'll admit, the duffel bag does add to his case, but why would you need to hide your body unless someone was hurting you? And I saw you leave that night, so you obviously had somewhere to go. So who is it?”

Neil gritted his teeth. He didn't need Andrew paying this much attention to him. "Stop trying to solve me."

"You can try to keep your secrets, Neil, but I'll figure you out soon."

"I'm not a toy."

"Oh, but you are," he smiled. "I've been needing something new to amuse myself with, though I doubt you'll last long."

"I mean it, Andrew. Don't mess with me."

"Ooh, the scary face!" Andrew laughs. "Yours gives Kevin a run for his money."

The doorbell saves Neil from answering. "I'll get it," he grumbles, eyes still boring into Andrew's. He strides towards the doorway to let the others in, a few of them presumably bringing the food in while Matt parks, but the cousins start talking before Neil is out of earshot, making every bone in his body seize. It isn't the words that alarm him; no, it's the language. Because Nicky was currently speaking in German.

Neil didn't know how they could know he spoke German. His mother had taken them across the world in an effort to confuse his father enough to lose their trail. Neil spent years living in German-speaking countries, namely Switzerland, Austria, and Germany itself, and as such, became fluent in German. Neil felt frozen to the spot, his every instinct telling him to get out of there, that they know,but as he listens to what Nicky is saying, it becomes apparent that they are not addressing him at all.

"What did you and Kevin say to him before he got here? When I showed him his room there was pure panic on his face. I thought he was going to make a run for it."

Andrew only shrugged. Aaron spoke instead. "Yeah, did you see his face when he finished touring the studio? He was practically green," he scoffed. "He's not going to last a week here."

They had no idea he understood them. Neil loosed a breath of relief, resuming his journey to the door. The whole encounter hadn't lasted more than thirty seconds, but it felt like thirty years to Neil. The adrenaline was still pumping through his veins. If they didn't know he understood German, he wasn't going to tell them. He needed every advantage he could find, and if they thought they could have private conversations right under everyone's noses, Neil would play along.

He swung the door open, ushering Dan and Seth in, their arms full of bags of food. Everyone made their way into the kitchen as they dumped the food down on the table, Matt hanging the keys on a small hook as they came in from the garage.

After a few moments of everyone shoving food in their mouths, Kevin addressed the group. "Neil needs to familiarize himself with the previous seasons, so starting tonight, we are all going to rewatch the past episodes together. We need to finish all of the episodes before the table read, so we're going to have to start right away,"

The proposition is met with a series of groans from the cast. They probably all have better ways to spend their limited free time before the rigorous filming schedule overtakes their lives. "You guys don't have to watch it with me, I'll be fine on my own," Neil says.

"No, we all need to review the past plot anyways," Kevin says. "You should always review what has already occurred before you start a new season to ensure you are as prepared as you can be. Not only is it possible you have forgotten little details or nuances of the characters, but being explicitly reminded of your characters' backstory, personality, and motives helps you slip back into your role after so many months. So we're all watching the show, from the beginning."

Seth shot Neil a glare, muttering something that sounded like "fucking rookies."

When all the plates had been cleared, the group settled themselves in the living room. Dan and her group settled onto the couch together, while Andrew claimed one armchair, Neil the other. Aaron and Nicky sat on the floor, their backs pressed against the coffee table. As they dimmed the lights and started up the TV, Neil found himself completely engrossed in the show. He had always loved television, had always been able to completely lose himself as he watched these characters' lives unfold. Three episodes flew by, and Neil almost wanted to protest as Kevin shut the TV off, telling them all to get some sleep. They had to be up at the studio by 10 for their session with Abby, and it was already 1 am.

Neil felt too roused to sleep, excitement from watching the show and anxiety for his meeting with Abby tomorrow keeping him alert, so he decides to go for a quick run. Slipping into his running clothes, Neil stashed his bag in the dresser and takes off down the stairs, pushing the front door open and going on his way. Neil takes this time to familiarize himself with the neighborhood, although the darkness makes it hard to discern the details. All of the houses in this neighborhood are enormous, with neatly trimmed grass and tall columns on their porches. Neil makes his way around a few blocks before turning back the way he came. He's barely sweating when he reaches the house, so he opts out of a shower, ready to collapse on his bed from fatigue. Neil had barely slept last night, and had been walking almost all day.

But when he pulled out his duffel bag to change into some sleep clothes, he stopped cold. To an untrained eye, it might have looked like nothing was amiss. But Neil knew better. Neil always folded the tags on his clothes, and as he inspected them now, every single one was flat.

Someone had been through his things.

11 notes · View notes

pip-personalispolitical · 5 years

Text

𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖑𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖙𝖆𝖗𝖌𝖆𝖗𝖞𝖊𝖓

The last female characters in the show have essentially been reduced to three houses; Stark, Baratheon, Targaryen. These houses hold considerable power by themselves, coupled with their remaining matriarchs (because let’s face it, Jon isn’t running anything other than away from his feelings) they’re a pretty formidable bunch.

Disregarding the pitting of powerful women against each other in a totalitarian struggle for the throne in the vein of oh so trendy, female power, this week’s episode was rife with misguided notions of women, power and madness. Patriarchal tropes clung to the once fierce and pragmatic women, altogether terrifying and brilliant, and reduced them to poor plot twists and insanity.

It was predictable, and awful, highly entertaining and I hated it. I hated it because this has a massive audience that has huge influence on Western society, it should be commented on, especially when the fanbase is so intelligent and loyal and when it’s such a huge part of our soecity (Sorry, it is.)

𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔱𝔩𝔢 𝔡𝔬𝔳𝔢

I’m gonna get right into it. Full fledged, partially feminist but mostly just pissed off review of this episode and continuing storyline for The Mother of Dragons.

Sansa and Ayra are the only two female leads left unscathed by bouts of madness. They remain in the show, they are quiet and astute, or emotionally void and impossibly silent. Above all else the crucial performance of their femininity is intact, they are well-mannered and unobtrusive and that is seemingly why they are still there. Some of their power steams from utilizing the tropes of femininity to ensure they have stability and respect and maintain the little power they have.

Sansa is not only playing the Game of Thrones but the tiresome Game of Patriarchy. Seemingly internalising her struggles and extending gratitude to traumatic abuse as a means of betterment seems, at the least, in poor taste and at most, horrifically ignorant and damaging. The implications are that because of what a man did to her, she is a better person for it. I think she is better, and not “still a little bird”, only because of what the show keeps telling us is that she’s smart now, not showing us. You might even go so far as to say that Sansa is only granted trust and smarts because she learnt it from a male peer.

Sansa Stark has swallowed internalised misogyny down with her favoured lemon cakes; yes, she has learnt how to manipulate those around her and use her strengths to gain favour, all whilst being very pretty and very quiet. Except when it allows heror her family more access to power. You all know what I’m talking about - snitches get stitches, little dove. All the while claiming The Dragon Queen is an untrustworthy threat (Jon asked you to keep how many secrets? One? The same one your Father kept for...how many years? Oh. Yeah. In the words of Sandor Cleagane, fuck off.)

Thus, leading me - a rabid feminist and Targaryen loyalist - to believe that unless you play by the rules in Westeros, whatever you want is unattainable and you are unworthy and frankly, too damn emotional. The only way for these characters to survive is to shut up and play along.

And let’s keep in mind that all of these characters are white, the people of colour on the show can be the sweetest, most benevolent characters in the universe and they still get decapitated. Characters who aren’t “nice” or “good” and are people of colour are portrayed as savages, emotionless killing robots that are above all dispensable and grateful to their white saviour. Someone who spoke about this more eloquently and in depth is Raine (SP – my apologise I can only guess at it based on phonetics), who wrote into the Pod-Cast: A Cast of Kings (S8E5, 7 minutes in.)

Dany simply doesn’t play by these rules.

Being a Targaryen at heart, I wondered what it was that Dany was doing so differently to be considered such a threat, or a borderline mad queen, chasing after the impossible affections of the inhabitants of Westeros. Dany plays by Targaryen rules, she plays with fire and blood. Their trump card of entitlement (a hereditary bloodline that has mostly held male monarchs) that condemns her as power-hungry but serves male claimants as entitled.

Her overt assertions and unfiltered desire to reclaim this birth right, as many before her have, is suddenly chased by the idea of being deserving, a prerequisite that eludes the patriarchal figures in her family. This leads me to think it’s not what she’s asking for that is so unconceivable, but howshe’s asking for it that is so outrageous. Apparently, even Khaleesi can face issues of likeability[i].

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔱𝔬𝔰𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔞 𝔠𝔬𝔦𝔫

These rejections of arguably patriarchal rules and the strong emotions of a woman are tediously wrapped up with notions of madness and hysteria, and prove disappointing for one of the most well written female characters in fantasy.

While we have to take into account the budget and time of the show, it feels breathless. The otherwise thoughtful and complex plotlines have been twisted to deliver shocking twists with little substance.

Dany’s previous actions in the show haven’t led to the web of whispers surrounding her, there is no reason for people to expect her to act like a mad queen up until this very last moment. To deny these people were doing so and lying to her face about it would be further gaslighting, so Tryion, in my book, did the right thing. Dany’s decisions have constantly been ridiculed, along with her sanity and emotional state.

In a defence of her actions, she has fought endlessly, scraped her way to the throne, sacrificed her time, her armies and her children to find herself left alone at the last moment? (Who can relate?) Her powerful allies have fallen, and those that claimed they would serve her do very little of what she asks. Seriously. Jon, you just couldn’t shut the fuck up for a second?! Starks and their honour, SMH. It is maddening.

Aside from it making no narrative sense (she has always avoided bloodshed and taken warnings about the mad king, her father, to heart) it just sucks seeing two of the best women reduced to Motherless tropes. Because Seven Hells, what is a woman if she is not reproducing? Insane!

As if the coin had been tossed and landed face down - Dany loses it within a split second. Hats off to Emilia Clarke because she sold it and the storm of emotions that ran across her face in milliseconds. This black and white contrast seems unfitting for a character that has faced each loss, personal and political, with tenacity, she has learnt from each of these losses. D&D have taken a survivor that has been gaslit, abused, groomed and baited and “made her mad with ambition.”

Additionally, it lends to the idea that women’s emotions are incomprehensible and irrational. We are told that in expressing anger we are inhibiting the ability to be heard - hello tone policing. This bout of madness is signalling her downfall, her failure to comply with a more docile femininity. Any woman with too much power will not be able to handle it and if she can she is mad and must be stopped. Period.

They failed to give her the credit she so deserved as she tried (and arguably failed) to grasp the politics of war. Worst of all, the scene played out so poorly that the audience had to be told this was her moment of “choosing violence,” like Cersei. The only way this was credible was thanks to Emilia’s performance and explanation in behind the scenes footage.

She explains how hurt Dany is, how angry and alone she is, and these feelings have culminated at a time she has gotten exactly what she wanted, and realised it’s not what she thought it would be. With liminal time, Dany grieves. Her grief is sorrow turned anger, anger turned dragon fire, dragon fire turned ash. It looks different to any other characters on the show and she has allowed it to kill her. And when you put it like that, it’s fucking traumatic.

It’s not like it’s nothing that pushes her over the edge, but in diagnosing Dany with madness, her agency is stripped from her. Dismissing her actions by saying it’s in her blood is implying it’s inevitable despite the great character growth and progress she has made. While the books clearly hint at this, the show does not...well, not successfully. It’s feasible and I’m not at all against the idea of her going mad, but the connotations of it seem reductive.

Daenerys could have been the most beautiful mad queen we’ve seen since Maleficent, reigning her vengeance on us with fire and blood, but D&D wrote off her brilliance with 30 minutes of relentless slaughter. Her power has always been something to fear, she plays the game she need not play to gain favour and credibility as a leader, and when playing by their rules fails her and she doesn’t feel like playing anymore (as it’s gotten her nowhere – does this remind you of anything? Patriarchy? Internalising misogyny?) she’s crazy.

The most irritating aspect of this all is that it has been written to further the narrative of do-gooder MoodiBoi of Westeros, Jon Snow. To add insult to injury, her sacrifices are motive for madness while Jon’s make him a martyr; an unwilling hero bound by the same strain of honour that has gotten both him and his uncle killed. Like, I’m bored?

𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔴𝔬𝔩𝔣 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔡𝔯𝔞𝔤𝔬𝔫

It’s undeniable, Ayra is a badass. She killed the fucking Night King. But for some reason, Daenerys isn’t granted the same nuance she is. Ayra is unforgiving and gritty, she is cloaked in darkness and weaponry and this darkness is welcomed. While Dany’s darkness is terrifying - perhaps simply due to the scale of devastation she is capable of - whereas Ayra’s is welcomed and accepted. Maybe it’s just too easy for Dany to sit the throne with dragons and is considered unfair? Like, I dunno, any white-het-cis man trying to attain a position of power and control.

Perhaps it is because Ayra’s power is overtly masculine, her power is demonstrated solely in her physical skills and capabilities, whereas Dany’s overt power is dragon fire, and flows, sometimes in reverse, between decision making, politics, emotions, bloodlines and betrayals. This is a character arc, it isn’t a clean narrative and that is why it’s so compelling. (Sidenote: let’s not disregard the ability to raise, bond with and fly fatherfucking dragons.)

Ayra undergoes numerous inescapable traumas, all early in life, but so does our darling Dany. The only difference is Dany strays from physical demonstrations of power. Her focus is not individualised, it’s pinpointed to political hotspots.

No, not all female characters have to express their power and emotions in the same way, nor should all female characters be powerful, but in a show with dragons, is it so far-fetched to have more than one successful female ruler?

𝔄𝔷𝔬𝔯-𝔞𝔥𝔟𝔶𝔢

It seems as though the show has room for only one type of ‘empowered’ woman: the power hungry one. Whether she uses cunning, childless violence or fire and blood, they all seek power. Enough to hold what they consider their claim, two of them have already paid with their lives for their loud and unrelenting anger, the third is most likely going to sit the throne, quietly, thankful for the years of gaslighting and abuse. Looking at you, Sansa Snarky.

The only praise I can sing is that this is actually a testament to her power and great restraint, it has taken 8 seasons of abuse, disbelief, dehumanising, control and betrayal for her to reach this point and use this force that she could have used moons ago. Which, judging by everyone’s shitty ideas and plans, she should have done anyway.

While Daenerys Stormborn isn’t perfect (er, hello white saviour/messiah complex) she is compelling and pivotal in the series. This woman isn’t inherently good or bad. The character is made of grey, shifting uncertainties and wavering moral, struck by tragedy and bloodlines - she is simply made of magic - Dany is, after all, the Mother of Dragons, and she deserved better.

𝔯𝔢𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢𝔰

1] Likeability: I define Likeability as a set of performances that are highly gendered, and ensure the maintenance of the feminine by condemning behaviours exerted by non-males; typically being loud, having a sexuality (lol seriously) opinionated, successful and ambitious. I believe likeability sits on the axis of heteronormativity and femininity; or rather within the heterosexual matrix. They rely on each other for their respective maintenance. The highly feminine woman is more respected and well liked. It is a social currency women have to pay in order to attain certain things, such as respect or power.

2] https://www.bitchmedia.org/article/its-time-embrace-feminisms-anger

3] https://www.theatlantic.com/entertainment/archive/2016/09/how-pop-culture-tells-women-to-shut-up/502187/

4] A Cast of Kings: Available on all streaming sites. S8EP5 Review.

1 note · View note

utopianparadoxist · 7 years

Note

Do you think that Rose and Kanaya were originally going to be moirails, and that their being girlfriends was OOC and detrimental to their characters? Generally, what do you think of rosemary?

Well, it’s @rosemarymonth and I’ve wanted to talk about Rosemary and why I think the canon gets WAY too little credit with regards to their execution for ages so I may as well do it now.

Keep in mind, of course, that I am a dude and in no way want any wlw to feel I’m shutting down critiques of Homestuck’s flaws in this regard. I think that’s perfectly valid, this is just my reading. I’ll be interested in seeing what people have to say.

I don’t get to talk about Rosemary enough anyway, so I’ll also take you up on it and go over why I love Rosemary and why I think readings that they were “meant to be moirails” and “go ooc” is straight up just misreading the text, because the comic is actually pretty clear in broadcasting its intent.

The thing to keep in mind is that Homestuck’s entire plot follows one consistent rule: The message of AURYN from The Neverending Story, “Do what you will.”

The events in Homestuck that actually happen are by design the sum product of the wills of the entire cast, and how well characters express their wills on reality directly correlates to how “powerful” they are.

Caliborn is the villain because Lord English violates EVERYONE’s agency by confining them all to the plot of Homestuck/his Alpha Timeline. Within the confines of those prescribed paths, however, reality always defaults to fulfilling the wishes of all characters involved, or resolving the tension between them.

What this means PRACTICALLY is that almost every event that happens in the story, no matter how ridiculous….

is, on some level, foreshadowed by the desires of the characters, just as Arquius’ heroic sacrifice and absorption into LE is foreshadowed by the desires of both him and Caliborn:

Oh, and speaking about Caliborn wanting to be bros with Dirk and allowing him to die as if going to sleep:

All this in mind, let’s focus on Rose and Kanaya. No, I don’t get the impression they were ever going to be moirails. I’m not sure when Hussie decided on Rosemary, but I get the impression it was early, at least by the time Kanaya was introduced.

Why? Let’s take stock of both girls’ desires and conflicts throughout Act 5.

Kanaya’s early characterization revolved around A) A tendency to gravitate and pacify take-charge, forward individuals,

and B) A profound dissatisfaction with that role.

That’s what burned her out so hard when she was interested in Vriska. So I’m not sure why one would assume that actually, Kanaya’s True Destiny was to fall into… the exact same arrangement with Rose once again, despite expressly avoiding it. That doesn’t seem like good storytelling to me.

Especially since Rose is, from the very beginning, posited as an idealistic escape from that solitude for Kanaya. Kanaya is the receiver of Rose’s prophetic text—one of her earliest big contributions as a Seer of Light– and it makes a tremendous impact on her.

That impact is partly manifested as an out and out romantic fantasy about Rose, who Kanaya idealizes as the legendary leader of her session.

Kanaya’s fantasies about Rose in this regard play heavily into her attempted courtship through the Flighty Broads and their Snarky Horseshitometer sequence—and it is romantic courtship.

Kanaya makes that clear in the mission-critical text document where she positions herself as an antagonistic suitor to John, and that document is first referenced in… oh, mid-Act 4.

So Kanaya��s romantic interest suffuses the narrative from pretty early on. What about Rose?

Let’s talk about romance aesthetics. Pretty much every endgame ship in Homestuck is couched in a distinctive brand of romantic connotation. For example, Dave and Karkat are linked to anime romance cliches, with Dave as shonen hero and Karkat as heroine.

Jade and Davepeta are linked by a mutual indulgence in furry identity. Vriska and Terezi get the “Home Sweet Home” connotation of The Wizard of Oz, and Dirk and Jake have the undying devotion and mutual passion implied by their link to The Princess Bride.

Rose is once described as a reserved girl “enamored by what dwelt in shadow”. This is a facet of her characterization that’s present from moment 1, what with her interest in the Horrorterrors. Another obvious place to go is Mom, and by association Roxy–both of whom certainly “dwell in shadow” as Void players.

And then, of course, we have Kanaya:

Vampires are traditionally associated with hiding in darkness, away from the Light. And Kanaya describes her rainbow drinker fantasy in exactly those terms. So this aesthetic link between them is established pretty damn early, too.

Of course, Kanaya is not a traditional vampire. I’m far from the first to point out that Rainbow Drinkers most strongly resemble the hyper-romanticized, shine-in-the-light vampires of Twilight, one of the most popular romance series for teen girls of the 2000′s.

Taking that incredibly popular aesthetic and using it as a wrapper for the love story of two girls is instantly compelling. What’s genius is that this is a cocktail of imagery that has natural appeal for Rose as a person, because while it’s true that she’s interested in the darkness that surrounds her, it’s clear that Rose spends her narrative seeking the truth and the meaningful.

In other words, even when she’s enmeshed in darkness, what Rose wants is…

The Light. She may not have taken an interest in Meyer’s prose or Edward’s surly patriarchal authority, but all else being equal? Rose was all but made for a story with imagery like Twilight’s. That in and of itself would be evocative and romantic enough, but it goes deeper.

Because Rose’s relationship with Kanaya is deeply interwoven with her relationship to the reality of Homestuck, a conflict that Kanaya directly helps her solve. Perhaps fittingly, given that Kanaya is a Sylph implied to be “Made of Space”, and so innately linked to the Setting of the story through her Aspect.

This conflict between Rose and the Setting of Homestuck is, in my view, nothing less than the main thrust of Rose’s character arc, so it’ll take a little bit to unpack. Let’s dig in.

Rose gets too little credit. She is the first of the main cast to really learn about Lord English, and the unfathomable, canon-defining threat he poses to the cast.

But even before she learns about him in name, she spends pretty much her entire arc resisting and fighting against his machinations, subtly perceiving something deeply wrong in the story from its very beginning.

In this, Rose strikes a compelling counterpoint to her partner TT, Dirk Strider. Because If Dirk’s character arc revolves around his belief that he himself is inherently evil, then it’s fair to say Rose’s main conflict is a belief that the world itself is inherently evil.

Or at the very least, incomprehensible and meaningless. Random and empty of logic or reason. And borderline antagonistic to her and her friends, as though reality itself is an unfortunate occurence.

In other words, Rose’s experience of reality is deeply colored by Void, the aspect of the unimportant, meaningless, irrelevant, and most importantly: incomprehensible.

Just as Dave’s sense of self is broken by his abusive upbringing from a Prince of Heart, so too Rose’s sense of reality is shaped by her codependent relationship with her Mom, a guardian whose actions she can neither understand nor predict.

As a Seer of Light, Rose is drawn towards trying to understand the truth, and in particular the inner truths and meanings behind the minds of others. At the core of her being, Rose is a person who desperately desires to know and understand.

Consider how frustrating this must make Mom’s erratic and dysfunctional behavior to her–there’s no rhyme or reason behind her mother’s actions, influenced as they are by her depression, loneliness, and alcoholism. There’s just apparent randomness from the person who defines her entire life–in essence, the God of her household.

Add in Roxy’s tendency toward passive-aggressive behavior–which Rose definitely perceives from her Mom, whether it was intentionally directed at her or not–and it’s unsurprising that Rose quickly begins to view reality as not just nonsensical and arbitrary, but outright antagonistic.

Rose’s inherently defiant worldview is only intensified by Sburb. Not only does Mom continue being aloof and indecipherable, but Rose discovers that fate has apparently already decreed that she and her friends are doomed to failure and death. To Rose this is more than unacceptable: It’s infuriating.

Throughout Act 5, characters often comment on how Rose’s obsession with subverting Sburb leads her to becoming withdrawn, self-serious, and distant from her relationships. She also attempts to assume responsibility for herself and everyone around her, culminating in the suicide mission she tries to take on alone.

All of this is accompanied by her tearing her Land apart, as she foregoes its “childish” path in favor of something she perceives as more mature and adult. Most blatantly of all, Rose flirts with emulating her Mom in her most obviously adult activity: indulging alcohol. Rose is, in essence, trying to be an adult. Forcing herself to grow up too fast.

By the way? Withdrawing emotions, carefully managing the feelings of others, attempting to assume outsize responsibility for their households and attempting to take care of their guardians are all behavioral hallmarks of kids who grow up in codependent households.

Fast-forward to the aftermath of Cascade, when Rose achieves God Tier and comes face to face with Kanaya for the first time. It’s notable that achieving God Tier is the first moment that Rose is given any indication whatsoever that the plight she shared with her friends was not just random, pointless doom.

It is instead a lucky break. Or a suggestion of greater meaning. In essence, it’s the first time Rose is given really any reason to see reality as anything but the chaotic, nonsensical burden she’s experienced it as so far.

The revelation is accompanied by Kanaya’s sudden phosphorescence, which Rose describes as “inexplicable”–a word usually associated with frustration for her. Here, however, it comes as a happy surprise. Here, Rose is seeing through the incomprehensible Void of her reality to perceive Light for the first time.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the moment is paired with Rose’s first romantic overture toward Kanaya.

Especially since the trend continues. As Rose grows more confident reality not necessarily ALWAYS being a hellish, meaningless landscape of random and pointless suffering, she also grows more playful and willing to be sincere. She grows to trust the Light she was once so suspicious of, asks Kanaya out on dates, and comments on things she enjoys about her without insincerity.

But she remains traumatized and conflicted about her relationship to both her Mom and the world, and takes up Mom’s alcoholism as a way to try to understand the former and ignore the latter.

This comes between her and Kanaya, since Kanaya relies on Rose to help her figure out HER role in the world, and to figure out how to achieve the revival of her species.

It’s worth mentioning that alcohol abuse, for both Rose and Roxy, is extremely Void-coded. It leads Rose to prioritize the pointless, ridiculous, unimportant and non-existent.

Void is also deeply tied to all things physical, as opposed to Light’s link to ideas and the imaginary. And Rose’s lack of guidance is a factor in making Kanaya succumb to her own addiction to Blood.

Here, Kanaya ends up valuing the desires of her physical form as a Rainbow Drinker over the more idealistic goal of the revival of her species, or even her relationship with Rose. As such, the two girls’ problems are marked as the same problem, even as they drive them further apart from one another.

And we see where their disunity and lack of direction takes them Pre-Retcon: It renders both of them less effective, and thus less important to the plot. It also leads them to misfortune. Rose’s inability to connect with and help, or even be helped by Kanaya, leads directly to tragedy in her relationship to the world.

Good thing there’s a flip side.

In the retcon timeline, Rose and Kanaya work stuff out. Rose gets past her alcohol addiction and directly credits Kanaya’s aid for it. Kanaya resists the pull of literal blood as she takes Karkat to Echidna and engages in an intellectual discussion about his relationship to his Aspect and the future of Troll-kind.

Rose reconciles with her Mom completely through Roxy, finding meaning where she could only speculate before. And with her increased ability to sort truth from lie, important from unimportant, and meaningful from irrelevant…

She resolves the tension between herself and the “demands” of Sburb, openly voicing her ambivalence to the very concept of her Personal Quest. In so doing, she illuminates an important truth to both the cast and the audience: that Sburb’s prescribed path to self-actualization is not particularly important, and certainly not strictly necessary.

Inner truth, understanding, good fortune, foresight, and happiness–Rose never needed to comply with some videogame’s 12-step program for self-satisfaction to get any of that, and neither do we. Light can arise anywhere, as long as you have the patience to look for it and people who love you at your side.

Hope this helps you see what I see, anon. Rose and Kanaya’s story is one worth cherishing, and I haven’t even come close to saying all I think there is to say about it, if you can believe that! But its a start.

Happy rosemary month, happy Halloween, and as always

Keep rising! ;)

[Patreon] [Hiveswap Discord]

#Rosemary #Rosemary month #Rose Lalonde #Kanaya Maryam #Homestuck #MSPA #My MSPA Analysis #Seer of Light #Anonymous #Sylph of Space #long post

456 notes · View notes

bmpmp3 · 3 years

Text

watch out it’s time for a review nobody asked for for whatever game i just beat but this time it’s the time travel edition, this post is a period piece: I beat FFXV!!! I bought a used copy with my PS4 all the way back in like 2017, the royal upgrade wouldn’t be out for a long while, the prompto dlc was out and I think the gladiolus dlc was on the horizon, thats the time in which i began playing this video game and thats the time i had been suspended in for the past three years, so i need you to understand thats the context of which I beat this game 20 minutes ago and thats why everything im about to say is probably gonna sound like rehashed criticisms from when it launched so im gonna need you to pretend its 2017 for me please dbkjasdfhbjsKDFJKDSANa ANYWAY spoilers for ffxv under the cut

it was alright lol

when i first got it i really adored it and it was so much fun and i played for Many Many Hours dsjhsfdjs I think the thing that drew me in, of all things, was the warp mechanic? I liked the combat even tho magic sucks so bad and while the summons are funny how they work (damn bro u suck so bad at this game the gods themselves needs to come help you out.....) its a shame the whole combat system feels a little shallow, like maybe if there were more skills or links or summons or hell more button combos,.... i dunno, i still adore the warp mechanic so much its so good i wish more games had things like it, it might also be one of the first modern open world games ive ever played?? wait holy shit......ffxv is the first modern open world game ive ever played................

anyway i knew going in the plot was one of the more criticized aspects and like yeah.....its borderline incomprehensible, too much important and relevant stuff happens in dlc i dont own and never played (i’ll probably check out some walkthroughs of em later tho), THE PACING oh baby the pacing

so like when i played it i played many hours and then i got to the endgame section where it gets really linear (i hear they changed stuff in the royal upgrade so its less so tho) i just stopped playing for three entire years until like a month ago hjkdsjfskfdsa its not that i dislike linearity!!! i actually love linearity, honestly i prefer it, like, the entire reason i stopped playing this game for three whole ass years was cause i burnt myself out on open world nonsense kdsjkfansjd modern open world games are mildly dangerous for me.. especially recently where the standout games ive played this year for me have been drakengard which was an evil video game yes but it was also very arcade-y and stage based design wise and genuinely i think thats underappreciated and has a lot of potential, and also flower sun and rain which is a chapter based point and click adventure game with sidequests but primarily linear, i dunno im always a slut for linearity

i dont remember what i was typing and unfortunately i dont know how to read so reading what i just wrote is out of the question but anyway i just kinda stopped at the part where shit goes down Very Suddenly and like all the plot is crammed in those last few chapters until like this month when i picked it back up again hrjfekdska and man i remember people telling me some of those later chapters suck ass and like......yeah......................OKAY IT WASNT THAT BAD.... i didnt mind most of it!!! but chapter 13 (noctis route, havent played the other one).... there was so many cool ideas being brought up and i liked the tone shift into a straight up psychological horror game BUT first of all this game needs to stop trying to get me to do stealth im not gonna do stealth if i wanted to do stealth id play a game with mechanics that lend itself well to that style of play and not ffxv

ffxv stop trying to make stealth happen its not going to happen

and SECOND of all they TOOK....AWAY....MY WARP......................MY WARP........................................................................................

some crimes can never be forgiven

jdlkfdsafs genuinely tho like it made me realize the warp is truly what makes this game fun for me, which is why im hesitant to play the dlc chapters myself and am probably gonna opt for a walkthrough instead, if i cant warp whats the point!!! let me zoom across the map bitch!!!!! what do you mean i have to run towards these enemies instead of slapping triangle at them... bicth im gonna kill you

there were lots of cool ideas and interesting story beats that maybe could have been good if they had been paced out better and not locked away behind unreleased dlc idfjkjlsjfks man and some of the late game environments are so COOL whadda hell....i do love the industrial fantasy vibe, maybe someday i should finally play ff7, yakuza like a dragon reminded me that maybe i do like turn based combat sometimes so i’ll try it out~

wait i got sidetracked anyway poor lunafreya, man...... like i love noctis and the boys so much but girl you can do better than him............girl he only has eyes for fishing trips with the boys... get u a man thats on ur level..... although i think this is a problem with a lot of stories where a love interest is absent for most of the story (and in lunafreyas case, dies two thirds of the way in jwhdksafsmnfdkms) all while the main character is hanging out with their pals, we end up spending all this time seeing the chemistry with the pals up close and personal all while noctis’s and luna’s relationship is told to us through prerendered flashbacks and also occasionally a notebook....give us a gf that can hang out with us video games....video games we need to hang out with out gfs

oh mild spoilers for a different jrpg Radiant historia, but i think the sorta romance between raynie and stock works really well just cause like shes with us!!! shes hanging out with us!!!!!!!! let us hang out with out gfs......

when i was younger and i first started playing it i was hoping the story would focus more on how fucked up it is that like gladiolus and ignis were like raised to be retainers............like imagine ur 2 and theyre like yo this baby? ur gonna advise him.....imagine ur like 3 and theyre like you gotta protect this baby with ur life..........................i dunno i think there coulda been some interesting interpersonal conflict over how theyre all still friends who love eachother but like the situation theyve all been raised in is NUTS.... i dunno they probably explained it away in the game lore somewhere i dunno i cant read fdssdfssfadsdsafsd i guess one of the biggest problems with the writing is honestly how messy all the themes get, like the game ur playing at the beginning is low key an entirely different story and it shows qwq i could not tell you what the thematic takeaway was by the end gomenasai

it does suck how fragmented and convoluted getting the story of this video game is, and this is coming from a fan of kingdom hearts.... like theres the game and the movie and also one chapter of the game with two routes and also all these dlc episodes and theres like that pixel game about nocts dad and there was the story in the demo and theres probably more i dont know about and like its one thing to have a multimedia project with lots of supplemental material but each thing needs to be fairly standalone yknow? like love live doesnt make you play the mobile game to understand the mangas jkfdsjdsfdasdf i dunno it was just too much and too fragmented in far too complex of a way for me (again, a kingdom hearts fan) to follow qwq

oh heres another compliment for the game tho, the photo mechanic? fantastic like more games should have auto photos that you get to look through, its so cute and fun, plus even tho the plot and pacing was a bit of a mess and some of the character development was incomprehensible i still cried at the end when noctis picks one of promptos photos to keep with him, and then in the credits when it shows you a bunch of photos you saved in order....i knew it was coming but it was so cute and good.....

oh also like.....two credits....two after credits scenes.......maybe more....imagine

oh man also it was getting a little rough after prompto disappeared so to kinda keep my spirits up and continue through the game without getting bored i played the rest of the game in the dorky chocobo festival outfit and lemme tell ya.....it adds a lot, 10/10, would recommend wearing it to the endgame, since the costumes show up in the cutscenes after the timeskip i was still wearing it and the shot of seeing grizzly 30 year old noctis with that stupid little hat.......i laughed so hard my dad came to check on me sfhkjdajfsldvfds i wasnt ready for it.....................

all in all ffxv as it stands without the royal upgrade or any dlcs is a decent, good but not fantastic game with some writing problems and some hit or miss gameplay mechanics but is still very fun (until they take your warp ability away) and has a lot of cool ideas and i liked it~

oh shit i just remembered a friend told me back in highschool (when i started the game) that the car gets flying abilities at one point......i never saw it fly.....ive been CONNED...IVE BEEN SWINDLEDwait i just googled it it was a side thing i never did lol i was hoping it would just randomly happen and i could fly my car to go kill ardyn tho........

edit: WAIT sorry i just remembered i had more things to say but also i need to sleep so they might be incomprehensible

- the fishing minigame slapped but only if you had the dlc that makes you never lose your tackle

- i know promptos like a clone or something but because of one of the early dungeons, the icy one, where that creature keeps stealing prompto cause she thinks hes her baby i thought it was leading up to a reveal that prompto was literally the kidnapped child of the boss of this dungeon hfskjdlfddsfdds

-i love most of the timeskip designs but prompto needs to shave that little beard off right this moment

- the timeskip was so fucked up imagine ur 20 and u wake up and ur 30 and then you die.......

-oddly enough i was weirdly fine with the fantasy audi and the fantasy vivian westwood and the fantasy cup noodles but the thing that did kinda throw me for a loop was at one point when i think ignis references the shining like all work and no play makes me a dull boy...... i cant stop thinking about fantasy steven king and fantasy kubrick

- playing as 30 year old noct tho, it did remind me of how nice yakuza 7 was with playing as 40 year olds....more jrpgs should let me be a grown man i like being a grown man it just feels nice

edit again: just woke up here’s some more things i wanna say

- i think another reason the last section of the game is a little meh is cause its all set at night or in dark areas and man.,....this game is Bad with dark areas lkfdsjds like i put the brightness as high as i can put it, i even adjust my tvs brightness and i STILL cant see SHIT!!!! bro turn the lights on.... basically never played at night unless the game made me cause it was so bad jfjskds plus there were so many cool environments like i mentioned before, but i cant see them qAq

- are rewrites a thing outside of warrior cats? like yknow when people write fanfic that are just like rewrites of the original property but like fixed lol i havent read one since i was like 10 and reading drawn to life rewrites (im sorry but the plot twist is bad) but i also havent really looked, i think ffxv could do well with some fan rewrites

#im sorry i need to write an essay every time i beat a video game

5 notes · View notes

queenieofaces · 7 years

Text

When did you know?

This post has been cross-posted to The Asexual Agenda.

I have a friend who in the last few months has started questioning if they might be queer (although they’re still trying to figure out where exactly they might fall). They’ve been talking to me about it a fair amount, for obvious reasons. The other day, though, we were chatting and they asked, “When did you know?”

“Which part of it?” was my immediate reply.

“Any part of it.”

The thing is, this question should be pretty easy to answer. I have a standard narrative that I use for activism work, of course--I got my first crush on a girl when I was 15, got a crush on a guy a little over a year later, learned that asexuality existed a little less than a year after that,* but didn’t start openly identifying as asexual until my twenties.

Reality is, predictably, a whole lot messier.

Here’s a place to start: I don’t actually remember when I started identifying as a biromantic asexual. I came out to my second partner (who also turned out to be ace), and I remember saying, “Do you know what ‘biromantic asexual’ means?” so obviously I knew the term by that point. But I don’t remember actually seeing the word or thinking, “Oh, hey, that applies to me.” You’d think that would be a big realization, right? There are so many narratives about people finding words for who and what they are and having huge revelations and I have...zilch. I had read the page on asexuality years prior, so I guess I must have internalized romantic orientation as a concept, assigned myself a romantic orientation, and then...never thought about it again? I don’t think I have a bad memory so much as it was a non-event for me. I knew, but knowing didn’t matter as much to me as telling someone.

Or, there’s this: I got my first crush on a girl when I was 15. I don’t think I ever went through a period of denial--it was very much “oh, okay, I have a crush on a girl; this isn’t ideal but I guess it’s happening” rather than trying to write off my feelings. But, in hindsight, maybe it was easy for me to accept because I started experiencing some kind of nebulous attraction to girls starting...probably when I was 11 or 12 at the latest. (It may actually have been much earlier than that--my mom got really frustrated with me when I was about 4 because I wouldn’t stop kissing this girl I was friends with. She was frustrated not by the kissing itself but because the girl in question turned out to have chicken pox.) I took dance classes starting in my preteens, and there were certain girls who I really wanted to impress. Because they were good dancers, uh, yeah, that was the only reason. I really wanted to talk to them and have them like me, but I was so painfully shy that I mostly couldn’t manage it. One of them complimented my shirt one time and I kept timing my laundry so that I’d wear that shirt to class in the hopes that she’d compliment it again. In hindsight, holy cow, tiny Queenie, that’s maybe not the most heterosexual behavior, but I didn’t realize that until I was in my twenties. Before that point, it was just me having uncomfortably big feelings about people I wanted to be friends with (something I’m very good at).

Or this: when I was 12, I got into a big argument with my dad about whether or not there were too many kissing scenes in The Lord of the Rings. I told him that the kissing scenes disrupted the flow of the plot and were excruciatingly dull, and he made fun of me and told me that he’d be laughing in a few years when I was eating up kissing scenes like candy. I remember telling him that that wasn’t going to happen. (I was right. The kissing scenes in The Two Towers are still pointless.) Do we count that as me “knowing”? Or was that just young Queenie having a good sense of plot pacing?

Or how about this: I started being bullied when I was in my early teens because my peers knew something was off about me. I wasn’t interested in boys (I faked a crush on a boy at one point to get people off my back), found the constant discussion about who people like liked really boring, and said some blunt and kind of mean things in response to one girl who kept monologuing about how much she enjoyed making out with her boyfriend. She called me heartless and a monster, and I thought she might be right. I had figured out by that point that I wasn’t experiencing what my peers were and assumed there was something wrong with me. Do we count that as me “knowing”? (Does it matter if I “knew” before I had the words for it? Does it only count if I had proper words to put to the experience? Or does it count only when I had proper words and started expressing those words to other people?)

That’s not even touching the way the language I use has changed over the past 5+ years. I call myself queer now rather than biromantic--I’ll say I’m bi spec when I’m in bi spaces. I used to think I was attracted to men and women more or less equally--now I’m mainly attracted to women and non-binary people. (I haven’t been attracted to a man for...approaching a decade now. That might be for Trauma Reasons or it might be luck of the draw--I’m attracted to people so infrequently that I’m working with a spectacularly small sample here.) I’m much more likely to say that I’m greyromantic than demiromantic now. 5 years ago I used to be more upfront about being ace than about being biromantic--now people are much more likely to know that I’m queer but may not know I’m ace unless we’re close (or I feel the need to out myself by making an awful pun which, let’s be real, I’ve done multiple times). But I’m not sure that we can say that I didn’t know before--it’s just that language in queer and ace communities is constantly shifting, and I’ve shifted along with it. I’m always trying to triangulate who and what I am as precisely and concisely as I can, but sometimes it’s more useful for me to throw out “queer” than to kick off the hour-long conversation about how exactly attraction happens (or, sometimes more pertinently, doesn’t happen) for me.

A lot of the time being able to talk to other people about something is a bigger turning point for me than knowing that thing about myself. The first time I came out as ace was more important to me than discovering asexuality. Which is more important: knowing or being able to make known? Does it matter when I knew if I expected to keep that knowledge locked up inside me forever? Does it matter when I knew if I somehow managed to forget that moment of knowing, but remembered the moment of telling someone else?

Maybe “When did you know?” just isn’t the right question for me. It’s probably the right question for a lot of people, but introspection has always been my strong suit while expressing my inner monologue is less so.

So, here, let me ask you: When did you know?

*Okay, so if you want to be a detective and work out my exact age it is in fact possible to do that by going through this post and previous posts I’ve made. I’m going to ask that you not do that, or at least that if you do that you don’t post about it. I’ve been intentionally evasive about my age for complicated reasons that mostly have to do with protecting my privacy (people knowing personal information about me is very anxiety-provoking, she says, on a blog where she frequently talks about very sensitive stuff because wow anxiety is weird), but this post would be borderline incomprehensible if I continued to be evasive--“February 2011″ means a lot less than an age for this kind of personal narrative.

#actuallyasexual #asexual #ace safe #what the frick tags are people using now #I'm so out of touch #cross posted to the asexual agenda #queer ace #another leaking feelings post #I'm...so out of practice writing blog posts and it's so intensely obvious #anyway...here is a not terribly exciting post for National Coming Out Day

50 notes · View notes

gamerszone2019-blog · 5 years

Text

Kill la Kill The Game: IF Review

New Post has been published on https://gamerszone.tn/kill-la-kill-the-game-if-review/

Kill la Kill The Game: IF Review

At first glance, Kill la Kill The Game: IF passes the fighting game smell test. With sharp cel-shaded cutscenes, including loving recreations of critical moments from the beloved Hiroyuki Imaishi anime series and the endorsement of its animation studio Trigger, developer APlus and publisher Arc System Works want you to see and get excited about the prospect of an authentic, official Kill la Kill game. Unfortunately, authenticity isn’t everything. Kill la Kill The Game: IF feels like a stripped-down version of the prototypical 3D anime fighter. Its loose, mashy fighting fails to create the opportunities for strategic depth I’ve come to expect in great fighting games. Meanwhile, its story and single-player modes feel less than substantial.

Kill la Kill The Game: IF is a fairly basic version of what we’ve seen in other 3D anime fighting games like Jump Force or the Naruto: Ultimate Ninja Storm series. Unlike those games, Kill la Kill’s matches are one-on-one duels, and take place on dull, flat arenas. The fighting is very simple, with each character using his or her own versions of the same three attacks: a close-range punch or strike, a chargeable long-distance projectile or dash attack, and a slow-moving heavy hit that breaks your opponent’s guard. Fighters also have flashy, powerful versions of each attack called deathblows, which are limited by a special meter. They do more damage, though not so much that pulling one off feels particularly satisfying, even if they come with a short cutscene intro to make them feel more epic.

Though the controls are simple, the characters attack styles are not completely identical. Certain characters have variations that may push you to approach a fight in specific, sometimes unintuitive ways. For example, Ira Gamagoori, a BDSM-inspired character who whips himself to build up power, takes a very small amount of damage when he blocks to build up his strength, which then makes his attacks more powerful. Other character’s eccentricities are much smaller – Uzu Sanageyama, the oversized, armored fighter with a wooden sword, has a charged version of his heavy attack that teleports directly behind his opponent. Unfortunately, there are no character-specific tutorials to help you learn each of their variations, so you will need to figure out how each character works through trial and error.

Though the attacks and fighting styles distinguish one character from another, it’s hard to avoid the feeling that you’re just mashing your way to victory.

“

Though the attacks and fighting styles distinguish one character from another, it’s hard to avoid the feeling that you’re just mashing your way to victory. There’s a system in place where blocks beat attacks, guard breaks beat guards, and dodges beat guard breaks, but with an air dash that can reach your opponent from any distance and a lot of single-button combos, it still feels like just rushing in and mashing an attack button is the optimal strategy. You can spend half your special meter to burst out of combos using the Bloody Valor system, a mid-match minigame-style mechanic, but it doesn’t do a great job of teaching you this. If you don’t know it, or recently used Bloody Valor already, then trading strings of hits doesn’t feel particularly enthralling when dishing it out, and can be exasperating when you have to take it.

Bloody Valor is ostensibly a “comeback” tool, offering some recourse when you’re in a one-sided fight, but it does more harm than good. It’s a rock-paper-scissors-style power-up mechanic, letting you spend half of your special meter to gamble for a battlefield advantage (such as healing your wounds or recharging your super meter) and raise your Ketsui level, which makes you generally more powerful. If you initiate Bloody Valor and win, you do it again to gain an even larger advantage. If you can win multiple challenges in a row, you’ll charge up a match-ending super move called a Lost Fiber Secret Art.

And if you start a Bloody Valor and lose? You lose a little health. There’s little incentive not to try it as often as possible, especially if you’re outmatched, which breaks up the flow of the fight in an unwelcome way. I’m not a fan of injecting random, tide-turning game mechanics into fighting games. Putting stat boosts and a match-winning attack at the end of a minigame separates the prospect of winning from your skill in combat, and undermines the fight as a whole.

The best defense may be Kill la Kill The Game: IF’s incomprehensible camera. Rather than following your character, the camera floats freely around the arena allowing your fighter to move out of focus or even all the way to the background, making it difficult to keep track of what you’re doing. There were times, particularly while playing the story mode, when I lost track of my fighter because the camera didn’t move as anticipated. There’s no auto-center button or way to turn the seemingly randomized camera off. You have to learn to go with the flow, which… I’d rather not. Fighting games are intense enough when you can keep track of the action.

Once upon a time at Honnouji Academy…

Despite being a fighting game, and therefore inherently multiplayer-focused, Kill la Kill The Game: IF puts single-player first. Its primary mode is its story-driven campaigns, a pair of abridged retellings of the original anime series’ final two-thirds -with some key differences that bring the playable fighters to blows in ways the original story wouldn’t allow. You should know right from the get-go: It’s all fan service, and you’re expected to know the whole Kill la Kill saga before you start, which makes sense for a tie-in game but feels limiting.

Though the campaigns are short – each one takes about three hours to complete – both feel like they drag on for far too long. The campaigns follow Satsuki Kiryuin and Ryuko Matoi, respectively, and are only ten fights apiece, including a mix of standard one-on-one matches, three-way duels, and brawler-esque engagements with dozens of generic “cover” opponents. The multi-character fights and brawls add some variety, but all three types are used repeatedly so they don’t feel especially refreshing by the end. Plus, that wayward camera has a tendency to make some of the fights borderline unreadable.

Long cutscenes separate each match, full of expository dialogue that rushes you through the plot.

“

The real issue with the campaigns are the wait times between each fight. Long cutscenes separate each match, full of expository dialogue that rushes you through the plot. Though the cutscenes look good and are well shot, it doesn’t feel like much is happening if you know major plot points already, and isn’t effective storytelling if it’s new to you. Instead, the changes sprinkled throughout feel like they exist to facilitate fights, rather than make the story interesting in a new way.

The poor balance of cutscene to combat also seems to be in service of the story. During the campaigns, you’re restricted to the protagonists’ perspectives, to the point where you wind up watching fights take place in cutscenes rather than playing them yourself. In some cases, you watch multiple scenes and progress through entire chapters of the story without fighting at all.

Even if it weren’t mostly recounting events fans already know – key moments from the anime like the Naturals Election and the Great Culture and Sports Festival take up multiple chapters – the perpetual wait to pick up your controller and start playing tested my patience to the point where I wasn’t particularly interested in watching.

While I didn’t love how long and redundant the cutscenes were, I will say there were very well made. Kill la Kill The Game: IF employs an elegant cel-shaded art style both in gameplay and cutscenes. It isn’t as inventive as the multi-faceted art style of the anime, but it’s clean, looks good, and really does feel like watching an anime in its rare, exciting moments. In cutscenes, the art gets an aesthetic boost from strong cinematography, which makes many sequences, especially action scenes, look striking.

But the story fails to give you additional insight into the characters or world of the anime series. Despite the fact that it was “supervised” by the Kill la Kill anime scriptwriter Kazuki Nakashima, giving it an air of canonical importance, IF’s story bends over backwards to make sure you know that what happens is of absolutely no consequence to the story you already know.

The story is clearly the centerpiece of Kill la Kill The Game: IF, so much so that you are required to play at least some of it before doing anything else – the training and local versus modes only unlock after completing the first chapter. Online play isn’t available until after chapter six. I, and I think most fighting game fans would agree, that this is a cardinal sin. There will always be people who just want to jump into fighting with friends or simply don’t care about the campaign. Forcing you to consume even a small part of it feels, quite frankly, out of touch.

A Note On Online Play

Kill la Kill The Game: IF offers sturdy but sparse online support. Players have access to casual unranked play, which relies primarily on lobbies and trading codes to sync up with specific players. There’s also a ranked mode that uses more traditional matchmaking where your wins and losses get recorded on global leaderboards. Separating the different types of matchmaking feels needlessly restrictive and may make it harder for players to find matches one way or the other. On the plus side, in the five matches I was able to play on PlayStation 4 ahead of launch I experienced no serious lag or connection issues.

You’ll also unlock new modes, various collectibles, and other characters as you progress, growing the paltry starting roster of six fighters to a still meager ten, including secondary versions of the two story protagonists. Two more characters are coming as free DLC later “this summer,” but even 12 characters feels light when the anime is jam-packed with weird, wonderful supporting characters who could add variety and personality to the lineup.

In addition to the story mode, Kill la Kill The Game: IF has a few extra single-player modes, including a training room, a single-player Survival Challenge mode where you continue fighting opponents until you die, and Covers Challenge, which is a wave-based brawler mode where you fight groups of generic enemies similar to some of the fights from the story campaigns. Though these modes present options to play solo using any fighter, including the more interesting characters not usable in the main campaigns, they lose their luster quickly with such a small roster.

Source : IGN

#Game News #Game Reviews

0 notes