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#the person who wanted to write that pls do!!!!!
mindfullycriminal · 16 hours
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Birthday Meal
Summary: When Spencer reminisces about the meal his grandmother made for him every year and how it’s still his favorite food, you decide to recreate the memory.
Tags: Fluff, no use of y/n or pronouns for reader
Spencer had brought it up so randomly, a wistful expression on his face as he mentioned the meal his grandmother used to make for him every year on his birthday and how it was still his favorite meal. It was an entire meal - an appetizer, main course with sides, completed with soft cookies and a kid friendly mixed drink. When he tells you he wished he’d been old enough to get the recipes before she died, you know what you have to do.
First, you contact his mother. You’ve met before and write her letters every week, so the doctors at the sanitarium have no issue with a short phone call. She remembers the meal, but not the recipe, but she gives you the number to Spencer’s uncle, and promises she won’t tell. Spencer’s uncle hands the phone to his wife, and while she has part of the recipe (the appetizer and sides), she doesn’t have it all. But she thinks a distant cousin would, so you call another relative you’ve never met, and talk to each member of that family as they reminisce about the foods they used to eat on their birthdays. (You’re amazed that every member seems to have a completely new meal, made specifically for them.) You get the drink recipe and the main dish from them, but you’re still missing the cookies.
They’re trying to think of who you could call when Spencer’s mother calls you back, saying she had found a note in her old journal about the cookies, and that you’re allowed to read all about the celebration. She says it’s already in the mail to you and just asks that you return the journal when you can. You wonder why she didn’t just copy the recipe down for you, or verbally tell you, but you thank her all the same and promise to let her know how your cooking attempts go.
Before you can start planning, the uncle you called earlier calls again and asks for your address. He says part of the special meal was that everyone had their own plate, and he found Spencer’s up in the attic. He also says his wife wrote down the exact brands used, and you thank him profusely. Within a week, you have the journal from his mother and the package from his uncle. The cousins have also added something to the package, apparently an old mixing spoon that’s been passed down from the time of the Depression. Between all of them, you’ve got the recipes and most of the specific brands used. You hide the special lavender plate and glass, wondering if this is why Spencer loves purple so much, giddy with excitement and nervous for your surprise.
It’s a strange meal altogether - not something you personally would have ever put together, but the way Spencer had talked about it, the way he’d looked as he remembered something good from his childhood wasn’t something you’d forget.
His birthday was coming up soon, and he’d asked if you two could stay in, surprised at your enthusiastic agreement. He went to work that day, after you’d woken him up with excited birthday kisses, and you had verified with Penelope that they would do something for him at lunch. You were still slightly angry that they had forgotten his 30th birthday. Really though, you just needed to make sure they wouldn’t try to take him out after hours, you wanted your surprise to work.
The recipe is somehow complicated and simplistic at the same time- truthfully it’s not many ingredients, but it’s a long process, true grandmother-style cooking — slaving over a hot stove all day. You briefly wonder if you could speed things along with a crockpot, but ultimately decide to stick to the recipe, following it to a T.
Penelope texts you when Spencer leaves the office, giving you time to dress up and finish setting the table. You have a hand made banner hung on the wall, a detail that you discovered through reading his mother’s journal, and fresh flowers that match the plate. His mother is having a good day, and the doctors have approved a short video call when Spencer gets in. You sit by the window until you see Spencer walking up the sidewalk, then rush to call his mom. When you hear the key turn in the door, you flip your screen around, and the two of you shout “Happy Birthday!” as soon as he walks in.
Spencer blushes immediately, surprised and smiling. You kiss his cheek before handing him your tablet, telling him to talk to his mom while you finish plating dinner, and warn him not to come into the kitchen, but to let you know when he’s ready. Thirty minutes later, when he calls out hesitantly to you, just now noticing the banner and the bouquet of flowers, you come out of the kitchen smiling, telling him to sit and close his eyes.
He rolls them at you, but complies, even covering them with one large hand, jumping slightly when you sneak in a kiss. You hurriedly bring out all the dishes, setting them around and finally set the special plate down in front of him. You pour the layered drink into his glass as Spencer twitches and squirms in his seat, asking if he could please look now. He laughs when you tell him to be patient, curious as to what in the world you’re doing and wondering why he’s nostalgic over the scent of whatever it is you’ve made.
When you finally let him open his eyes, he looks to see you standing nervously, hands wringing together as you wait to see his reaction. He does a double take at the spread before him, and his eyes widen into saucers when he sees his place setting.
“Happy birthday, my love” you say softly, still nervous and smiling shyly.
Spencer stands so suddenly the chair he was on falls to the ground but he doesn’t care, lunging for you to crush you against him. He’s trying to hide the tears falling from his eyes as he squeezes you close to him, whispering his thanks over and over. He’s overwhelmed with memories he thought he’d forgotten - his plate, the banner, the way the drink looked in his glass.
When he pulls back from you, you’re concerned at his glassy eyes but he doesn’t give you the chance to ask, kissing you deeply and with all the emotion he feels. When you break apart, he’s smiling the wide smile that transforms his whole face, and you’re relieved that he seems to be happy. He fixes his chair, and asks you to tell him how you did all this, thanking you again. You fuss at him first, fixing his plate exactly how the journal had been written. There had been a few photographs of one of the last celebrations, and you were pleased with your recreation. The trouble you’d gone through with talking to his family (who had continued to call you, remembering strange details in the weeks leading up to tonight), tracking down exact brands - some that could only be found online, burning yourself on the main dish - none of it matters at all when you see how Spencer is looking at you.
Spencer honestly doesn’t care how the meal tastes, although it’s somehow better than he remembered. You tell him you added in extra love, and that the wooden spoon you’d used to mix the ingredients must have contained some too. His mouth drops open at the spoon, before he tells you a family story about how a wooden spoon became so meaningful.
He continually thanks you, unsure how to express his gratitude, and he lets you take photos to send to all the family members who helped you, forcing you into his lap for the last one, gripping your waist tightly as you both smile, looking at each other.
Softly, Spencer tells you this is his new favorite birthday, and one he swears he will remember every detail of forever.
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im-yn-suckers · 1 day
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riki bf habits?
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yes yes
teases abt ur height bc bro is shaq
so we know that hes a personn who loves to play with hair and loves to have his hair played with but did you know he loves washing ur hair and having his hair washed
his prescence is extremely calming and he can say the same about you
has cute nicknames for the plushies you guys adopted and call your children
'i saw this at the mall with jake and i thought it was cute like u!!' IMAGINE WIHT A BIG SMILE
'babe what do you wanna do?' 'idk alsong as im wit u' :(
ALWAYS makes sure u eat bc why would u starve ur bootiful body 'baby!! i ate today!!!' 'really?? Im so proud of you princess!!'
remembers everything abt u. u met three years ago and brought up u like the scent of vanilla?? three years laterbuys you a vanilla scented perfume
THE PETNAMES WUTH THIS MAN "angel, can u pass the salt?" ''princess can you hand me my phone'' ''cutie do u have lip balm'' ''baby/babe what time is it'' now the following only come out when hes sleepy or when no one else is around; ''love stay here its still early'' ''no, my love, we cant make cake right now' 'but its cake and no ones here to stop us' 'ITS THREE AM'
sends u texts w memes that say shit ilke 'this apple is yellow, if u see pink i fine asf mami' to annoy you
grabs ur waist. his arms are a belt. his personal hand warmer. sticks his hand underur shirt 4 shore!
has a soft spot for u and only u
imaginecuddling w the human koala and he whispers 'kiss me loser' wtv u say gorgeous
sends u reels and tiktoks of spiderman and hellokitty saying us
TV GIRL BRACELETS ARGUE W THE WALL
has matvhing promise rings for sure
unlike some ppl, i think hes def the type to write little notes for u
'shut up riki' 'make me bitch' sassy sassy sassy sassy sassy sassy
(over text) y/n; babe can u bring me wayer on ur wayback from taking shit pls?? riki; WAYER 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 riki; sure angel
ur doing ur work likr a responsible student (manifesting) and 'TALK TO MEEEEEE' 'im studying love' 'idc kiss me l/n y/n'
'cmere pretty girl' while checking u out. laening againsgt the counter trying to distract you from baking
BACKHUGS AND NECK KISSES STFU
'babe' 'hm?' you stare at your phone, not lookint at him 'look at me' you look 'good girl' SIR SIR SIR IM NOT UR STRONGEST SOLDIER
buys u wtv u want bc y shld u suffer w/o 3+ prada bags, a matchcing bulgari serpenti bracelt and ring, dior and chanel makeup etc.
loves u to the end of the world.
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shmolish · 3 days
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Hello, can I request Shadow Milk Cookie x Reader who likes to dance pls? Since I imagine Shadow Milk Cookie dancing around a lot, I thought a dancing Reader would be perfect for him!
Have a nice day/evening/night! 👋🏼😁
AN: YOU DONT UNDERSTAND, I LEGIT STARTED JUMPING UP AND DOWN WHEN I GOT THIS REQUEST. IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE TO WRITE S.M.C, AND NOW I FINNALY HAVE ONE! AH, I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. THANK YOU FOR THIS REQUEST ☆☆☆☆☆ IM GOING TO GO THE EXTRA MILE AND ADD HEADCANONS AT THE BOTTOM TOO ☆☆☆☆☆♡♡♡♡ XOXOXO TYSM ILY.
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Shadow Milk Cookie x GN! Reader. ONESHOT
Warnings: None
-Doll-
Stars shone whimsically in the sky, and the cool night breeze could be felt all around you. A quiet melody was playing from the stage inside. Standing on a balcony was you, elegantly twirling and stepping from side to side. Though your eyes were closed, you did not need them. It was song that guided you, not your sight. It was peaceful, until somebody grabbed one of your hands and forcefully spun you around.
Your eyes shot open and you could see the person who interrupted your dance standing right infront of you. Cold hands, shades of blue, crazed eyes. It was none other than Shadow Milk Cookie.
"Is this what my doll has been up to? You know, I've been looking all over for you," he would say. One of his hands were on your waist while the other was holding your own. His eyes looked deep into your eyes, and a smile could be seen on the blue cookie's face.
"I thought you were still doing your show," you would explain to him.
"Dove, I finished a while ago. I wanted to meet up with you immediately after, but you hid away on this balcony! I was a little worried," informed Shadow Milk Cookie.
"Ah, sorry." You would smile wryly.
"What's that look for?" He'd snap, beginning to pout.
"It's just funny how much you want to be around me. I didn't think you liked me that much!"
Shadow Milk would roll his eyes.
"You are so silly. Why wouldn't I enjoy being around my favorite doll? You're perfect."
He would spin you around once again and start the steps to a familiar dance. The two of you would recite this dance all of the time, so the steps have already been memorized by heart.
It was the first dance that Shadow Milk did with you.
"Dancing again? You seem to like it a lot," He'd chime as he continued to spin around with you.
"That's because I do like it a lot. Though, it's much more enjoyable with you."
Shadow Milk Cookie couldn't help but snicker. "I know. I'm a joy to be around~"
He would dip you backwards and stare into your eyes.
"But, I suppose I also enjoy our time together."
He would bring you back up to your feet and continue the hypnotic dance.
How much time has past since you two first began dancing?
The two of you had no plans on stopping any time soon, but it just had to start raining. It wasn't even a light mist that would make things more romantic. It was heavy.
"Uhg, what a pain." Shadow Milk would say through a glare. He quickly lead both of you back indoors, but the damage had been done.
"I'm so sorry doll. If I knew there was going to be rain, I would have lead us inside earlier."
"It's fine, really. I was starting to get sleepy anyway," You'd explain to him.
His eyes would widen for a moment before he picked you up into his arms. You would have started shouting at him to let you go, but something else caught your attention first.
"Ack! Shadow Milk, you are freezing!"
He couldn't help but snicker.
"Sorry button, I run cold."
Shadow Milk Cookie would place a kiss on your forehead before starting to walk both of you to your shared room.
After the two of you changed into more dry clothing, Shadow Milk immediately wrapped you up in a bunch of blankets.
"I can't have my little doll getting sick now!" He'd say as he began to cuddle up next to you.
"You're still cold.." you would whine, trying to scoot away from him.
"I know that, silly! That's why you have to share the warmth..." He'd say back, holding you closer.
He was so annoying sometimes.
But of course you still loved him.
Headcanons!
Loves dancing with you so much!
Sometimes he'll see you randomly dancing on stage, and he can't help but join in
Will 100% spin and dip you
But if on the off chance you spin him...
He gets flustered
Will make up the excuse that it just caught him off guard
But you know he's flustered since his hands turn warm...
He is NEVER warm
Loves to flirt with you while you dance
And likes giving you silly little nicknames like: button, doll, dove, star, and when he's in a silly mood, silly billy.
His favorite greeting is spinning you around or random hugs from behind
Acts like a cat
He's clingy and needy like one as well
Seriously panics if he loses you for over an hour
You have to make up for it with kisses
Man also gets jealous SO easily.
Death stares and constant harassment towards the other party
He never does this infront of you though
OKAY, I DID IT! AGAIN, THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE. PLEASE REQUEST MORE SHADOW MILK COOKIE FROM ME. I WILL GLADLY WRITE IT 😍
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winterwhisperz-blog · 8 hours
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Hey i just read your touchstarved headcanons and I LOVE IT!!!
And Here’s my request is that can you do a scenario of TS boys with MC who can speak different languages??? (like Italian or French)
Don’t worry i am a patient person and I won’t rush you. And i hope you’ll make more scenarios of the TS boys in be future.
YES HI HELLO !! I am, SO SO SORRY for taking two thousand centuries to respond to this—I’ve been pretty stressed over work so I haven’t been able to write headcanons as much— BUT TYSM FOR THE ASK !! IM SO HAPPY YOUVE ENJOYED MY HEADCANONS !
I do want to apologize in advance that these are going to be shorter and less one-shot like, than my others. These will be more like my Kuras Headcanons I made awhile ago—(Life has been kicking my butt lately so my motivation has been LOW)
But I hope you still enjoy them !!
Also huuuuge thanks to @danyvhell-writes
For helping me with these ideas !! You’re a saint 🙏
ALR LES GO
Note: gn reader! Fluff
Warnings: PROBABLY OOC PLS DONT HATE ME
Ais
ALR ALR AHAHAHAHA
So, one of my besties would do this A LOT where she would just switch into Spanish and I’d just be there like ???
So I thought it would be funny if you did that with Ais here
Imagine you’re in some kind of argument, a stupid, light one you know— and to annoy him
YOU JUST SWITCH INTO A WHOLE DIFFERENT LANGUAGE
He’s completely stunned, red eyes wide as you just start rambling, (very passionately) in a language he doesn’t understand
As you go on though, he just becomes utterly impressed, watching your mouth as he studies the words coming out of it (and just because he’s flirty LMAOOOO)
After you’ve had your fun, he comments something like “Impressive, Sparrow.” And then asks you, ofc, if you can teach him what you said
To tease him a bit more, you don’t tell him for a bit until he BRINGS OUT THESE GIANT PUPPY EYES
So you do start teaching him, just long evenings hunched over books or a paper as you teach him different phrases and words, the candle light dancing on his focused gaze.
And one day, out of the blue, he starts calling you Sparrow in the language you were speaking(and you also hear him practice words while talking with Princess—AND ITS SO ADORABLE)
After he’s becoming pretty good at it, you then proceed to tease other people(Leander) by randomly switching mid-conversation into a different language <33
Leander
NOW WITH THIS ONE, it reminded me of this really cool video of a guy switching between loads of languages in one song
IMAGINE showing this off to Leander one rowdy night at the Wet Wick
Maybe it’s even one of his favorite songs ??? And hearing you sing it in so many languages would absolutely knock him off his feet.
Another thing I think he’d go CRAZY FOR
Pet names, in whatever language.
Like ?? You call him something like “Mi amor…” for Spanish, or “Tesoruccio.” For Italian ??
He’s done for. Doomed. Dead. Will beg you to repeat it over and over while he showers your hands or arms with kisses.
He’s also one that would definitely be okay with you calling these pet names in public—he wants to be all smug that HES the one called yours.
He probably also learns whatever language you speak as well, might already know it because bro probably had tutors that taught him so many languages man.
In return for the pet names, he probably calls you something like “λατρεία μου” or “latria mu” (My adored !!! 🥹 in greek)
Kuras
NOW, THIS IS INTERESTING
I’m guessing since Kuras is an Angel, he knows like ??? Every language?
So when he finds out you speak others, he’s instantly curious, impressed, and now it’s quiz time.
You pass by a certain object, plant, anything, and he asks you how to say it in your language(s). Even if he may already know, he likes to hear it coming from you, enjoying the glint in your eyes as you explain things.
Another thing he’ll do, is when you’re having a library date, he’ll hand you a book and request you translate it. Either from your language to—whatever language people speak in Eridia ?? Or from that language to yours.
These will turn into nightly strolls with you translating a poem or book as he strides beside you, golden eyes locked on every word.
In return, he’ll translate whatever text into a language you don’t know. (I wonder if angels have a specific language??)
A name for him, I think it’d be cute if you called him 아름다운 천사 (Beautiful Angel in Korean !!)
Whether this is after or before you know he’s an Angel, he finds it both amusing and endearing. (Or painfully ironic if his life as an Angel is a tough subject)
Mhin
OKAY SOSOSOSOSO !! Mhin evidently thirsts for knowledge, they’re a lil nerd and they’re rlly bad at hiding it (A mood really. one of the reasons I love them <3) and my friend mentioned they’re more of a listener? So like I can see them just—paying very close attention to every word you say
At times they may not seem to be listening to you as you ramble, or catch a few words of slang from your language(s). But they’re actually secretly a sponge and soak up every little detail.
And now this may be just me but Mhin gives off such I must impress you with all my random facts vibes.
They ask questions about the languages you speak, the slang, the meanings, how to pronounce things correctly, everything
And then they do their own research, soaking up all they can before appearing to you one day and just starting the conversation in your language(s)
When you show any sign of being impressed, they will look away blushing and try to act cool but nahhh buddy you aren’t fooling anyone we know you spent forever working on that
Similar to Ais, lots of late night lessons where you get to teach Mhin about your language(s)! Just you two looming over an open book, Mhin scribbling down notes, looking so concentrated and you even spot a smile starting to form as they start getting better and better. (I love themmmmm 😭)
Mhin asks you to quiz them a lot, and looks so !! !! Just proud of themself when they pass. (Before realizing it and their self loathing kicks in and they revert back to >:( ) You want to tell them that they don’t need to be quizzed but look at their face !! Let them impress you okay !! They’re top 1 student !!
If you want you can joke about them having to call you Professor(Mc) or something but ur just gonna get a deep frown and glare like 😒 nuh uh AHAHSHS
Vere
Ohhh vere my nemesis. (He’s the toughest for me to write i have to like mentally and physically ambush him in a fast food parking lot before I can get anything outta him)
(I love him so much though so here we go !! Thanks to my friend for giving me a lot of help in this one because otherwise I’d be a doomed woman)
My friend brought up since he’s a fox, he’s very sensitive to sound !! So when you’re speaking in your mother language, he notices how your tone might change, watches as your tongue moves against your teeth or the top of your mouth, idk but he makes it a sensual thing somehow 😭
Definitely flirts with you in your language(s), says the most outrageous thing and watches as you get stunned or flustered by it, absolutely delighted that no one but you (or anyone who’s unfortunately being nosy and can understand) knows what he’s saying.
Okay this may be dumb but it’s so funny to me imagine Vere like putting on his most smooth, seductive tone, convincing the people around that he’s gonna say like the most erotic thing but he ends up just saying something like 💀 “Avocados” in your language(s) or like “Leander looks like a chicken breast” he does it to see you laugh but also because Leander overhears and could tell his name was said and thinks Vere is like— finally coming around but only you two rlly know Vere is just sexily roasting him.
Due to recent lore being dropped, and in his lil character sheet, it says Vere has a huge love for the arts. I think it’d be really neat if you introduced him to things specifically written in your language(s) !! Like books that originated from your country, plays that are only acted in that language(s), just a tour of the language! And if he doesn’t know your languages(s) then teaching him is gonna be like 💀 somehow so flirty
Will definitely call you Professor(Mc) but he makes it sound absolutely horrendous and cringey and you will regret it you probably should turn back
Jokingly will ask if you’ll give him a golden sticker if he behaves—do it, just to humble him.
OKAY WE’VE REACHED THE END WOOOT WOOT !!!! I DIDNT THINK I’D MAKE IT !!! Been stuck in this endless void for ages !!
Hem hem, thanks so much for the ask !!! I’m so so sorry it took forever 😭 writer’s block nearly had my head this time uh oh
Thank you again to my bestie for helping me out !!
Now I hope you see the most beautiful sunset, eat your favorite dessert, learn something new, and have a happy spring !! 🫶🩷✨
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saintobio · 3 days
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Omg ok ok hello! I had this huge rant in my head about sy and sn so pls feel free to ignore it, but I love your writing so much and it gives me some STRONG FEELINGS. First of all it surprised me that I like the way you write y/n cuz she doesn't become a "bitch" after the whole deal with Gojo and have some elaborate revenge plan, but she is also not a goody two shoes (even if she stayed with Gojo earlier but she had a lot of external pressure to stay in the marriage). Not that those tropes are necessarily bad but it's just more realistic this way. She's just a person who has been deeply hurt and is trying to do right by others. Even if she has made big mistakes, she still wants to make up for them cuz she's not completely in the right either. Also getting bashed by everyone for trying to make amends/ not following their advice regarding you own life; while very triggering for me (lol) is also just such a natural reaction. Not right, just natural. When things get out of people's hands and they want to blame someone for it, they often go for the one who is actually trying and won't retaliate if for nothing than to just keep the peace. Also wanting people to understand your side of the situation yet feeling undeserving of it at the same time because of your mistakes is UGHHH I feel like you do that so well! It's amazing but genuinely heartbreaking to see how far Satoru has come as a person too. Also when he thinks about how he wants to be a better person for Akemi IT MADE ME WANT TO PUT MY HEAD THROUGH A WALL... cuz WHY COULDN'T HE BE LIKE THAT FOR US!!! At the same time we have moved on without him, so if we are allowed that luxury then why isn't he? It's just so ANGSTY AND SO SO GOOD! Because we love Satoru we always will but he had a chance and he fricked it over terribly! So it would be idiotic to go back to him but at the same time the heart yearns for him. This is a side tangent but whenever any character says "this is not like you", "you have changed, this isn't how you'd act" makes me so MAD lol (maybe bc I am triggered?) But these guys WATCHED MY GIRL GO THROUGH SOME HORRIFIC SHIT AND STILL EXPECT HER TO NOT BE PERMANANTLY AND IRREVERSIBLY CHANGED???!! ;-;; IDK what they want from her oof >.< I do think Akemi is a shitty friend but I can't bring myself to hate her completely. Seeing them together is so ANGER INDUCING AAAAA (and her wanting a family with him is fine BUT THIS EARLY?!JUST AFTER ADMITTING YOU FEEL "SORRY" FOR BETRAYING US?! IT MAKES ME WANNA HURL HER TRHOUGH CONCRETE) but at the same time Satoru and Akemi both deserve someone who can love them. It feels hypocritical to be angry when we ourselves told him to move on and find someone who can love him the way he deserves. It's just very very shitty it had to be them. Sera is also such an interesting character. She has a lot of traits that I admire a lot. Her resourcefulness and complete and utter pride/confidence and being unashamed to ask for things/ stand up for herself (even when she is wrong) is something I wish I had sometimes. Still wanna stick her head through a toilet tho and yet when a person who slept with a married man can see the bloody violation of girls' code that is sleeping with your bff's EX HUSBAND oh BOY you should KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG. I have no strong feelings for Toji (cuz I don't like him much anyways but that's just personal bias XD )but I do think his anger and frustration is well founded especially since he runs over whenever the reader needs him. He's so supportive and invested and honestly he deserves someone who can give that back to him. It's kinda sad but then again I don't like him much to begin with lol.
OH AND THE ENDING OF THE LAST CHAPTER IS SOOOOO PAINFUL. To always be the second choice even for YOUR SON OHHH MAN I'D RATHER YOU PUT A KNIFE THROUGH MY HEART ;-;
All in all I hate how much I love this series and love to hate these characters and take out my repressed anger on them cuz I can't do that irl. This series is my Roman Empire lol. It's so painful, yet so beautiful and it makes you FEEL so many things and yet hold out hope for things to become better. I love this, love you and your writing- ok mwah bye bye (and thank you if you read this rant put together by my post nap, barely coherent brain) I have so much more that I want to say. I can write essays about this series and how it uses so many technically "cliche" tropes but it is anything but cliche . Truly some of the best angst I have read like ever!
oh wow !! i don’t even know what to say, this feels like such a comprehensive review of the sy series sdksks but i think many readers could definitely relate with some of ur points here :D this is such a nice perspective to read, thank you so much for sharing and tysm for reading sn/sy aaaaa i’m happy u enjoy the angst as much as i do <3
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theplantqueer · 1 year
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Been reflecting on my assumptions that anyone who sparks my disabled rage, protectiveness or exhaustion must be abled, and the kneejerk reaction to frame it as a slight by the abled world upon me/my loved ones/our communities.
To be clear, there's many appropriate times and places for acting in defence of us crips, Mad, ND, Deaf, ill and otherwise disabled people. It feels impossible that there'll be a day without that need some time in the future.
And.
I don't think it's as simple as that binary of us vs them. To truly internalise that anyone, anywhere can be disabled (including that random cunt who was just ableist to you!), I think we - I - need to break down this binary of abled & disabled. Not in an "ableism doesn't exist" way or a "disabled is not a useful category" way, but more: There are so many ways to have a body, and to be honest most of the bodies in this world are non-normative.
Whether through being disabled, racialised, fat, queertrans, intersex, gender non-conforming, impoverished, or any other kinda so-called "deviance" from the ""norm"", we have some shit in common! Namely the many varied experiences of existing outside the oppressive boundaries of "normative" bodies. The experiences we have of having these bodyminds in this world are real and important to name, and. the ways we group each of those experiences have arbitrary and ever-evolving, societally/culturally-defined boundaries.
I think in order to be able to not presume the ableist stranger abled-until-proven-otherwise, I/we also need to also come to terms with the ways we let each other down, disappoint each other. Perpetuate shit we shouldn't because the world is a rough place to exist and try to grow. I do it, and so does this random stranger.
So do my family members who deny their disabilities and wonder why I don't or can't do the same. So do average height crips who forget Little People exist in access audits & checklists. So do the Deaf people who express their unneeded sympathy when I talk about my wheelchair use, and so do the disableds who ask why there can't just be one sign language that everyone worldwide uses. So does the other wheelchair user who avoids my solidarity glance at the shops. So does the non-immunocompromised cane user who's dropped all pandemic precautions. So does that neurodivergent person who's forgotten they're not the only one in the vicinity with Brain Shit going on.
We love and uplift and protect and care for one another, absolutely! but we can also fuck each other over just like anyone else. We disappoint each other in big or little ways all the time. It doesn't make us abled, it makes us imperfect people in a world solely populated by imperfect people.
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dimitrscu · 1 year
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i love spending hours writing only to read it back the next day, cringe, and then delete the whole thing
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daiourage · 1 month
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TsukiHina shippers come get your food before it starts infighting—//shot
I made two versions of my pfp bc I liked the outline, but I also wanted to color it!
(Yes it’s post-timeskip!)
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meowpupp · 1 month
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sorry for not being active. uni just started again, and it is kicking my ass
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sadistpet · 4 months
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headcanon. clinical mental health talk below the cut, it's LONG.
raikov has a number of mental health issues. due to the nature of mental health awareness - not to mention mental health awareness for men - in the 1960s, especially in the soviet union, he never actually gets any of these diagnosed. obviously, he still suffers from them regardless, and his symptoms are both distressing and impairing for him. the disorders in question are:
⍟ unspecified trauma- and stressor-related disorder (due to his childhood and abuse during his time in the military) ⍟ borderline personality disorder (bpd) ⍟ histrionic personality disorder (hpd) ⍟ and dependent personality disorder (dpd).
since i really like talking about mental health, i thought i'd make a little post explaining them in a bit of detail ! please bear in mind i am not a professional, just a mentally ill person who knows what i'm talking about. all criteria is taken from the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders, fifth edition. not using the international classification of diseases 11th edition (icd-11), nor the one from the 1960s (icd-7), or the dsm-i because they all suck ass ❤ also dont be ableist ill be hoo boy ill be cranky
UNSPECIFIED TRAUMA- AND STRESSOR-RELATED DISORDER
most people know about post traumatic stress disorder, and / or complex post traumatic stress disorder, but people often don't realise there's more disorders under the "trauma- and stressor-related disorders" category. there's acute stress disorder, reactive attachment disorder, disinhibited social engagement disorder, and adjustment disorders.
however, there are also two other disorders under the category ; otherwise specified trauma- and stressor-related disorder, for diagnoses that don't exactly fit the criteria for any of the others, and unspecified trauma- and stressor-related disorder, which is a diagnosis for a) people who don't have enough symptoms to meet the criteria for another disorder, or b) when there isn't enough information to make a diagnosis of another disorder. in these circumstances, a diagnosis of "unspecified trauma- and stressor-related disorder" is given.
in raikov's case, he has many symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (nightmares, flashbacks, hyperarousal / hypervigilance, and dissociation) due to the abuse he suffered during his early years in the military, but his symptoms are not frequent enough to qualify for a diagnosis of ptsd. they're more intermittent than a repeated and constant presence in his life, only occasionally cropping up when he's reminded of them. hence, his experience falls under unspecified trauma- and stressor-related disorder.
from here on, i'll include the criteria for each disorder and will bold the symptoms i feel raikov meets, at least in my interpretation !
BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER
borderline personality disorder is characterised by instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity. patients need to meet five (or more) of the criteria to be diagnosed.
frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment
a pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterised by alternating between extremes of idealisation and devaluation
identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self
impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)
recurrent suicidal behaviour, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behaviour
affective instability due to marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
chronic feelings of emptiness
inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights)
transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms
raikov is an incredibly impulsive and angry person, and we can see that ingame. he goes where he wants, when he wants, and his planning is exceptionally short-term. he'll get angry at you for the crime of standing in front of him and physically assault you for it. he's constantly snapping and whining at people. both the soldiers and scientists react to his presence with fear, again hinting at how often he takes his anger out on them.
away from the game, however, and more on my personal interpretation : raikov deals with mood swings HEAVILY. he's incredibly attached to volgin, would quite literally rather die than be without him and fully gives up on life after he "dies", and as such, his opinion of him can turn on a dime under the wrong circumstances. whether that's misinterpreting the colonel's words as personal attacks, or even assuming any negative emotions are because of himself. it doesn't stop at volgin, either ; anyone who misspeaks around him risks incurring his wrath or his devastating sadness, and god knows the consequences aren't pretty.
he also binge eats, something fairly obvious, and he's always having incredibly risky sex, as well as generally having no concept of money or budgeting ( though, does he really have to when his beloved has the philosopher's legacy ? ) he often feels empty, like he's hollow and doesn't mean anything or doesn't hold anything substantial inside him. he often feels torn in regards to his identity, and struggles to comprehend that he doesn't need to be a specific "role", but can be many at once. his excessive dramatics do result in him threatening suicide to his subordinates, or even to his lover if he's feeling exceedingly bad, but they often don't go anywhere, but in the moment, the emotions are completely real and honest for him.
of course, paranoia is somewhat justified in their environment and particularly during the events of mgs3, but raikov finds ways to be paranoid even when he's as secure as a princess in a tower.
HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER
histrionic personality disorder is characterised by excessive emotionality and attention seeking, with patients needing to have at least five of the eight criteria to be diagnosed.
is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
interaction with others is often characterised by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behaviour
displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
shows self-dramatisation, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
is suggestible (i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances)
considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are
raikov ticks basically all of these boxes. he hates not being the centre of attention, be it from his partner or anybody else, but typically tries to mask it behind a mild-mannered persona that doesn't have much of substance to say. he's consistently dramatic and over-the-top, be that in affect or in action, shown by his displays of excessive emotionality whenever he feels personally slighted or angered. these emotions switch in a blink, and he's somewhat mastered the art of snapping between them. oftentimes he doesn't feel these emotions extremely deeply, or even at all ; they're all theatrical and false, used to pull eyes his way.
being an exceptionally beautiful man, he's no stranger to bringing attention to himself by using his appearance. it's something he does very often, whether that's in the bedroom, out of the bedroom, in public, in private... he's constantly on the lookout for the most flattering outfits to show himself off, even if it's at a detriment to his own comfort and identity. he constantly craves to be something, to be novel and interesting. he deeply fears being ordinary, or being forgotten, or like his novelty has worn off, so he's constantly seeking out more ways of drawing attention to himself.
when his interactions with people aren't solely sadistic and rude, or utterly flippant and dismissive, he's very sexually charged, constantly getting up close with others and being flirtatious. if he's not being seductive, he's deliberately trying to provoke and annoy people. his speech often features broad and sweeping statements, and he tends to be unable to pinpoint exacts when he's talking about things. he masks this with the idea that other people just couldn't understand what he's talking about, but it's actually because he focuses more on his own emotionality than the objective truths about a situation. for example, harping on about how rude someone was to him without actually saying anything that they did wrong.
DEPENDENT PERSONALITY DISORDER
dependent personality disorder is characterised by a pervasive and excessive need to be taken care of that leads to submissive and clinging behaviour and fears of separation. patients need to meet five or more of the criteria to be diagnosed.
has difficulty making everyday decisions without an excessive amount of advice and reassurance from others
needs others to assume responsibility for most major areas of his or her life
has difficulty expressing disagreement with orders because of fear of loss of support or approval
has difficulty initiating projects or doing things on his or her own (because of a lack of self-confidence in judgement or abilities rather than a lack of motivation and energy)
goes to excessive lengths to obtain nurturance and support from others, to the point of volunteering to do things that are unpleasant
feels uncomfortable or helpless when alone because of exaggerated fears of being unable to care for himself or herself
urgently seeks another relationship as a source of care and support when a close relationship ends
is unrealistically preoccupied with fears of being left to take care of himself or herself
somewhat of a surprise, this one. raikov is heavily dependent, though he doesn't show it much. he relies heavily on volgin for just about everything, and following his "death", raikov essentially gives up entirely on life. he doesn't fight back, he doesn't do anything, he resigns himself to his fate of rotting away in a cell. when found by big boss' renegade team, he requires an excessive amount of convincing in order to actually join the group, only agreeing when the topic of getting revenge is brought up. even then, he seems almost content to just stay there, perhaps a subtle nod to him finding it difficult to step out of the promise of security.
especially during his late teens, raikov was horribly self-sacrificial, allowing himself to take the brunt of any bullying and never fighting back due to his own cowardice. he prefers to just go along with anything that gives him security, because he doesn't like being left to his own devices. he spent so long under instruction from others - his family, his coaches and teachers, the military - that he truly doesn't know how to govern his own life without someone telling him what to do. it's one of the reasons why he leans so heavily into the benefits he receives from being volgin's lover -- he has everything provided for him, he doesn't need to take care of himself. he deeply appreciates - and in some ways, intentionally invokes - volgin's overprotectiveness and dominance over him for this exact reason. as funny as his little panties with a lightning bolt are for most, he finds them a constant reminder of security.
as a major for GRU, a lot of these traits fly under the radar to most given how domineering and self-assured he often appears to be, but he's often second-guessing his decisions. it just so happens these manifest internally rather than externally.
WHY NOT ASPD?
this is a question i'd imagine some people might be asking. antisocial personality disorder is a personality disorder characterised by a disregard for and violation of the rights of others, including symptoms such as ; deceitfulness, impulsivity, irritability and aggressiveness, reckless disregard for the safety of self and others, lack of remorse, and consistent irresponsibility. on the surface, this sounds a lot like raikov, but i personally don't think it fits.
people often forget that for disorders to be considered disorders, they need to cause at least one of two things : functional impairment and clinical distress. what this means is that if you have symptoms of a disorder but they aren't causing you any distress, or they don't disrupt your life in any way, those symptoms cannot clinically be labelled a disorder. though that doesn't stop people from wrongly diagnosing it, of course.
ivan is one such case of this. he is irritable and aggressive, disregards the feelings and rights of others, lacks remorse, and is consistently irresponsible -- but these aren't things he struggles with. he isn't impaired by them, nor does he find them distressing ; henceforth, he wouldn't meet the criteria for aspd. the disorder also requires evidence of conduct disorder before the age of fifteen, so in my personal backstory for him, he wouldn't meet this criteria either.
one of the differential diagnoses for aspd is this exact thing :
Criminal behaviour not associated with a personality disorder. Antisocial personality disorder must be distinguished from criminal behaviour undertaken for gain that is not accompanied by the personality features characteristic of this disorder. Only when antisocial personality traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persistent and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress do they constitute antisocial personality disorder.
which, in my opinion, fits raikov a lot better. he's an asshole who happens to be mentally ill ; his mental illnesses aren't what makes him an asshole. in a similar vein, i believe he would fit histrionic personality disorder over narcissistic personality disorder for a lot of other reasons i could go into (such as hpd requiring attention and npd requiring admiration), but this post is long enough already.
that's all ! thank you for reading this far, if you did :3 !
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magioffire · 1 year
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as much as i appreciate all depictions of trans masc people in art, this isnt some kind of put down like omg you gotta draw ALL your art like this but... its honestly quite nice to see some trans masc characters that  have breasts  and are completely fine with that. like i get that top surgery scars have just become the visual short hand for ‘trans man/,masc’ character but thats not the reality for every trans masc person, not all trans masc people experience top dysphoria all the time, or even at all, and i feel like if we normalized the idea of breast tissue on men it would help to lessen the social stigma of men with breasts, cis or trans. i just love to see trans masc characcters who still have their breasts because its a reflection of the sort of trans experiences and bodies i am familiar with
#like seeing yourself in media is unendingly important#people who get to see themselves in media on a regular basis may not understand but seeing a character that looks like you#and isnt just a 'hahah fat tranny' joke that is actually extremely good for your mental well being#and you know...its part of the reason why i opted to make vali look the way he does because you know how many people#have come up to me expressing gratitude that someone would ever write someone who looked remotely like them#and wasnt just the butt of some cruel joke#and that they didn't really consider that it was possible for a character of this type to be considered desirable by fandom culture at large#because lez be honest fandom spaces can be very "pretty f/ggots only pls uwu'#again this isnt to put down anyone who DOES draw most of their trans characters with top surgery scars like#thats still important too i get really happy when i see art that includes that because its like the artist and i#are shaking hands like same hat#but even more so when i see a person or an experience that better reflects my own#where i had never seen it before treated with any reverance or respect#i wanna include that same feeling for others in my writing since i cant draw lmfaooo#to me thats the importance of diversity. not a brownie sticker you get to absolve you of being 'called out'#but something you do because you want to express and experience a fuller breth of human experience. not just the most acceptable versions#and help others see themselves in the art they consume#anyway thank u for coming to my ted talk#ooc.#tbd.#i hope this makes a single lick of sense lmfaooo#its 3 am leave me alone#im easily amused and also starving for content that gives me a single smidgen of shared life experience between trans people#this is why if you wanna see yourself in something..U GOTTA MAKE IT YOURSELF and u end up surprised at how many others were#also unknowingly looking for the same thing#and are like hey. thanks for that. i needed that.#and im like same bro :')#and tbf top surgery scars in art MIGHT be that for some people and i love that for them#but for me its seeing beautiful men who dont have 100 percent flat chests because that is apart of the trans male experience too#fuck just the male experience in general
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hopecomesbacktolife · 1 month
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I’m not going to reblog the post itself because I don’t want that behavior on my blog, but oh my god I just saw a post about “looking for fics about your favorite character on ao3” and good lord the amount of bad takes both in that post and in the notes?? I have to just ramble about this for a moment because oh my god. it was ludicrous.
people were complaining that, and get this, unfinished fics exist. and that if you read an unfinished fic you’ll have to, get this, wait to read more until it’s published next. they were allll up in arms that there’s fics for a character that don’t cater to their specific interests. that they involve other characters and either do/don’t put them in a romantic relationship when they want the opposite for the character.
like at this point, most of you people in the notes on that post are 1) just being mean and condescending about FREE WORKS you can, may I remind you, READ FOR FREE and EXIT at ANY time! if you don’t like it!, don’t read it!, it’s so simple!, and 2) straight up do not know how ao3 works lmao
like I saw soooo many people in the notes complaining about a certain ship, dynamic, tag, etc, and like… y’all know you can filter by romantic vs platonic pairings, by ratings, by excluding certain tags or other qualifiers, etc etc etc… you know about ao3’s actually incredibly usable filtering and searching system… right… right??
at this point I’m just convinced a lot of these people are spoiled by large fandoms with 100k+ works for their characters and have decided to just be mean and condescending for no reason on main, about literally free fan works you can read for free any time that people spend hours and hours pouring their free time into out of sheer love for their craft. cuckoo bananas behavior if you ask me 🫠
I was legit so close to commenting that maybe they should try shipping two characters with <10 fics, with 0 fics, try liking a rare pair, try hyperfocusing on a character or niche type of fandom with a tiny but lovely circle of fans, and stop treating fan works and fic as Content TM that they deserve to have handed to them that caters to exactly what they want for free and maybe they’ll calm down lmao
like y’all aren’t cool you’re just being mean. we fundamentally approach fic in wildly different ways and honestly the way you do sounds exhausting. literally could not be me, I’m to busy finding joy in shared love for characters and not flipping the table in a rage because there’s one (1) element of the fic that isn’t specifically catered to me, maybe try that and you’ll feel better, hmm?
and yeah I’m aware that last sentence is me being condescending towards them, but frankly it’s warranted when so many people are being that mean and haughty for no reason lmao but truly those takes were horrific. fellow fic writers and even fellow fic readers I interact with, am mutuals with, authors whose works I read, readers who comment and interact with my works, fans of niche fandom subsets that run in the same circles as me— I hope you know this is so wildly not how I approach fics, I love just finding fics for my characters and forming these lil communities where we share our interests and love for them and hype each other up. I love what we have in these fandom niches and I hope you know I would never dream of being so mean and condescending towards y’all. fic writers and readers and fan communities are so special and I cherish it even if clearly there’s people in the notes on that other post who don’t know how to do that lmao. I love your unfinished WIPs, I love your fics that may only partially be what I’m looking for, I love when you write characters in a way I wouldn’t expect but shows your love for your particular headcanon, I love the variety and diversity and variance in fic. I love us. genuinely. fic writer moots I am hugging all of you and I frequently reread your works, even the unfinished ones. ♡
#personal#god this turned into a rant but sometimes I’m just shocked by how.. mean and condescending and holier-than-thou some people can be about fic#about works people write FOR FREE because they LOVE a character/ dynamic/ etc so much they can’t NOT let that love pour out into a fic tjat#once again you can READ FOR FREE HELLO#like god. maybe those people need to try not being a condescending bench (to quote Eleanor) and maybe they’ll feel better and be able to ac#tually participate in the wonder and joy and delight that is fan communities and fic communities idk man#I’m convinced some of it is people being spoiled by large fandoms and also not knowing how ao3 works at all#but like. this is not a streaming service this is an ARCHIVE it is a LIBRARY do you know how to use a LIBRARY#hello??? if you don’t like a book you can return it and borrow another???? not scribble in the margins about how you don’t like it???#like literally w h a t.#unhinged behavior and not in a cute way.#being mean isn’t cute it’s just being mean. condescension won’t magically make your dream fic scenarios appear. sorry (not sorry tho)#anyways. there was no way in hellllll! I was going to reblog that post and bring that whole mess to my blog. so instead. making my own post#(somewhat like people who can’t find fic they want could also just make their own but yknow 🤭💋)#anyways fellow fic writers and readers I interact with and am friends with ily ily and pls know I never think of your works like that in a#million years ok ❤️❣️❤️ I’m sorry some people are Mean I’m so glad the people I know who are fic writers + readers aren’t like that ty ty
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soo-won · 7 months
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Il like yeah I don't like Suwon because of his vibes and because his 8 years old ass won't put my daughter above the country my grown ass is unable to rule decently :/ But what I find curious is how no one ever ask why Il didn't, just maybe, prioritized his nephew, that he's the only adult relative of now(because of who i ask you!!) just a bit more ? like you know. He's supposed to be his uncle. God forbid this child have other priorities than his cousin in life but the adult in his 40/50s has a free pass to not be a responsible adult with his orphaned nephew.
If Il had lingering resentment over how Yuhon planned to kill Yona and felt like it was only fair he wouldn't treat his brother's son as family either, that could have been something interesting to explore. but it doesn't. And instead of being honest about the reasons why he "just can't do" with Suwon, he blames it all on Suwon himself. Who again is a child that just lost his two parents and is holding a faction of people that would very much commit a regicide immediatly if he wasn't holding them by the scruff of the neck.
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hanadoesstuffwrong · 2 years
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"Why didn't you?"
People seemed to like my Outlaws AU, so here's a completely out of context Katara (she's been a bit of a scuffle) x
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galedekkarios · 3 months
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"there are no fics / rarely any fics where astarion is being loved and treated gently :(" <- me when i lie
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recurring-polynya · 11 months
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I know you don't like pregnancy and all things to do with it in regards to talking about it or writing about it-- but do you dislike Ichika? Or is she a character you don't quite like to write?
I actually don't have any problems with pregnancy stuff, at least not the technicalities of it. I'm definitely not into the romanticizing of it, which is usually what people want.
Ichika is deeply uninteresting to me. We've hardly seen anything of her in canon. She seems to have a fairly similar personality to Rukia and Renji, except that their bullheadedness and shouting comes out of the fact that they had to work their way up from nothing and are constantly trying to prove themselves. Without any sort of similar motivations, Ichika just comes off as sort of a brat, but then again, we've seen very little of her, so who knows. I don't really love that shinigami are able to have biological (sort of?) children, and I would have preferred it if they couldn't.
Here is the real reason I don't want to write about Ichika:
I love my kids, but parenting in America today is a grueling, lonely, and largely thankless enterprise. Without getting into it too deeply, I have a lot of issues about loss of identity and value as a person that came with motherhood, which I was not able to work out in therapy. Fandom is a place where I have been able to carve out some space for myself and my interests. I think Rukia and Renji have cool personalities and interesting backstories and complex motivations and I've spent a lot of time thinking about them and writing long, intricate stories about them and learning to draw them. When people say to me "yeah, that's great, but could you write about a generic kid character, I think she's really cute!" it does not make me feel good.
This is very much a me problem. Other people like Ichika, and back when I was taking requests, I would always get tons and tons of requests about her. For a while, I tried to work through this by writing stories that reflected my own experiences with parenthood, instead of the cutesy shit that makes up most kidfic. I do like to write stuff people like, and I especially like to write stuff *for* people I like. I never felt any better about it though, progressively worse, actually, and it feels extra crummy that these fics tend to end up on the more popular end of stuff that I write. Also, a lot of the requests (the ones I didn't write), were clearly fishing for the cutesy shit and it would just really upset me to get that in my askbox constantly. The upshot is, I just won't do it any more, because I don't want to. I have written enough Ichika stories. If someday, I have an idea for an Ichika story I want to write, I'll just write it, but that's on me.
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