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fallenhunnyapple · 1 day

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Decided to do a kinda.. design breakdown for my version of Sinner Adam cuz there's a number of deliberate choices.

Piercings

Left eyebrow ring piercing

Two Hoops on the Left ear

Two chained studs on the Right ear + dangly triangle

Tongue piercing

Snake bites

Nipple barbells

Before becoming a sinner, the only piercings he had were tongue and ears because he could get away with them without Sera chastising him

The snake bites were just There when he became a Sinner and the irony pisses him off, but they're definitely not the only snake bites he's getting :3c

The eyebrow piercing and ear piercings also just Were There when he became a Sinner. The only ones he got afterwards were the nipple piercings and that's because he finally learned why males have nipples and a little of wanting to please his dom

He's got some vaguely goatish/sheepy details

He has the long rectangular pupils that give him an advantage to lateral views which, given the fact that he's severely Nerfed, is an advantage he needs.

Obviously his horns are an homage to the ones on his helmet but have the grooves that are more common in ram horns.

He got ears that are somewhere between floppy sheep ears and elf ears. They can move a bit up and down but they're not super mobile.

Wings

His wings are a dull golden color, nothing like the vibrancy of his wings as an Angel. And more than that, they're Literally Clipped. He can't use them as wings, he's completely grounded. He can't put them away either so he has a constant reminder of the fact that his wings are Useless. He still uses them protectively, they're still big enough to at least partially cover himself (or Lucifer when need be)

Tail

He has a classic long spaded tail. Naturally, it's All Black, but because of his deal with Lucifer, there's a Red Mark on it, not unlike the heart marks on Lucifer and Charlie's tails.

Scars/Marks

Adam has a number of these. Of course he has the scar along his torso from when his rib was removed. That's something so deeply engrained in him that even coming back as a Sinner doesn't remove that.

He also has the Scars from Niffty going absolutely wild with the knife. Instead of just a single classic X where the main blow was, he has a number of scars littering his chest and back, the first and worst Stab being the most visible. These scars have a bit of a golden hue to them because they were scars to his Angelic Body.

His Apple mark is something Lucifer deliberately left there. It's also like a Golden hued Scar, and it acts like a Brand. After all, their deal is for him to lend Adam protection, but he can't Always Be there, so a mark like that should help deter anything too bad from happening since it's Very Clear that Adam belongs to Lucifer. It hasn't always worked to plan, but it does give some level of protection when Adam is on his own, especially in the beginning where he doesn't trust or like anyone in the hotel and vice versa.

Bonus notes

I know I don't really draw Adam as Soft as a lot of people do, but he's definitely not Skinny. To me, because of his position as Leader of Heaven's army and being responsible for training the Exorcists and also just getting involved with Exterminations himself, I see it more as like a balance of muscle and fat, solid and soft. In other AUs where his lifestyle is different, so is his body type to me. But in this one, this is the kinda dad bod type I give him. (The lack of hair is because I am a coward and don't really like body hair so I don't wanna draw it for my own stuff)

Also: I have Sinner Adam's hair, skin, wings, and wardrobe all be much more muted colors than how I draw him as an Angel and that's also deliberate. No more divine light for this guy, so it's left him dull and dark.

As for why I don't have him with a face resembling his mask: While I do appreciate that choice for other people's designs, to me it's got a lot to do with my Dysmorphia Headcanons. He doesn't like how Human his face is, it's one of the things he has the most insecurities about. So of course Hell is gonna exploit them and give him a face that's so very similar to his human/angel One. He doesn't get away from it that easy.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk

Tbh if anyone wants to hear anything else about that AU, or any other, any details or questions, please feel free to Ask. I love getting to talk about my ideas, I just don't know how usually lol

#hazbin hotel #adamsapple #hazbin adam #hazbin hotel adam #adam hazbin hotel #sinner!adam au #my art

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thefruitiestofbois · 3 days

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We just needed time- pt2

"Maria I'm going. It's final." My tone is icy as I make my point. I stand by my decision and I'm not turning back now.

"It isn't safe. You don't know how many of them there are- in fact you don't even know where you're going."

"Seattle. That's where I'm going." I counter and Maria slams a finger down onto the table in disapproval. Mostly she's frustrated that I'm insisting on going alone. It would be safer that way, less chance somebody else dies because of me.

"Deep down you know that it's better I get to them first before they come back with bigger numbers. Before they come back to Jackson. It's safer." She holds my gaze, nostrils flared, defeat crawling up her face. "You can't stop me." I add before she swipes her greying hair behind her ears as Tommy offers a comforting squeeze on the shoulder. Almost as if to tell her that all three of us in the room know I'll just sneak out without her blessing. Two weeks ago Dina and I ran into a group from Washington looking for a smuggler and a girl. They told us they weren't looking for trouble and that they just wanted to know where a man by the name of Joel Miller was as well as the girl he smuggled. Obviously, we both said nothing. Didn't even tell them he was already dead because Abby, who I assumed was the leader, seemed to be on some kind of vengeance mission. She seemed disappointed that we didn't know him and not the type of disappointment where she wishes she could just reunite with him, but the type that was fuelled by vengeance. She looked pissed. If reading the room hadn't been enough, the day after, when I tailed them to the mansion, I overheard Abby telling some Owen guy that she would be back and that she'd 'storm Jackson and find Joel and Ellie, no matter the cost'.

I've been battling Maria for the past two weeks and avoiding Ellie. Not that avoiding her was difficult to do, she seemed to be doing the exact same. If I could go to Seattle and tell them Joel was already dead, maybe Jackson would be safe. Maybe Ellie would be safe. That was my redemption. Maybe if I couldn't keep Joel alive, I could keep Ellie out of harm's way. I wasn't looking for forgiveness, I knew Ellie would never give me that, but maybe I could earn her neutrality to replace the hatred she had for me. Or maybe I wanted to replace the hatred I had for myself.

"Just let her go, she'll probably be fine." Tommy soothingly attempts to convince her. She forces out a huff of angry air and just nods.

"Thank you." The hint of desperation in my words softens Maria's authoritative demeanour and she walks around the table and tugs me into a hug. A tight one at that and I wrap my arms around her, a silent cue that I'll be okay.

"You better not get yourself in trouble, or so help me God I will kill you myself. You got that?" I hum and head straight to the stables.

Ellie coincidentally happens to be returning from patrol when I'm loading up my saddles for what anyone could tell to be a lengthy journey. I had told Tommy to convince Maria to clear my house out just in case.

"Where are you going?" Ellie asks and its the first words she's spoken to me since our patrol a few weeks ago. Maria knew something was off so she didn't pair us together after that, especially after Dina and I's run in with the WLFs.

"Seattle." With that I mount my horse and ride out, not explaining myself further and leaving Ellie and Jackson behind me.

Gunfire and screams echo in the distance towards the direction of a stadium or arena. Conflict seemed to be pretty common and from what I've gathered after spending a few weeks in Seattle on my solo adventure, I've learnt a few things. There are two groups- the Scars and the Wolves, who I presumed were the WLF. They hated each other to the point where it was kill on sight. I'd been caught in the crossfire a few times, nothing major though, just flesh wounds. I've also learnt the Scars are some kind of cult and they worship some prophet, whose murals were scattered throughout Seattle. I had just come through a quarantine zone and a hotel with the WLF banner paraded on the front. The buildings here were tall and close together- great for hiding but horrible to navigate through.

My plan was to find a patrol and peacefully offer myself up but so far everyone has trigger happy, even at the snap of a twig. Seattle was at war, that much was obvious but the cause was still unknown to me. Not that I cared. I was here for Abby and the Wolves. The faster I could deliver my message, the faster I could go back to Jackson.

Everything was darker in Seattle, the clouds, the blitzed buildings and roads and even the plants and grass were a dark green. As I wade through the overgrown bushes in some park I stumbled into on my way to the hospital, a whistle further away on the opposite causes me to instinctually duck to cover. Seraphites. I was wondering if I'd encounter anymore of them. I go prone, keeping my body glued to the mud no matter what.

"We caught the apostate and the wolf. All that's left is to free them. May She guide us." That's all I make out as I crawl behind a barely recognisable bus stop, screwing my silencer onto my pistol, just in case. Another whistle, sharper this time, breaks the silence and I'd come to recognise it as a warning whistle, Well a warning for me and a signal to the other Seraphites that someone was hiding nearby. And then quiet. So quiet I held my breath just so I wouldn't be heard. Finger ready on the trigger I begin slowly creeping out behind the cover of the bus stop, and upon seeing the coast is clear, launch myself for the park exit.

"Right there by the bus stop!" I hear one of them call out but I don't look back as I race, chest heaving, to just make it out of here. But then I hear a bow firing and very quickly afterwards feel the searing hot pain of an arrow ripping through my right shoulder. Another bow fires an arrow into my left calf and I drop to the jagged concrete below, breath staggering as I clutch my shoulder which was now pooling blood through my shirt and jacket. I crawl as fast as I can away from the thumping footsteps that are getting closer with each passing second. I grunt out, clutching my shoulder tighter as agony rips through me as I aimlessly crawl forward.

The thumping stops by my ear and a strong hand throws me onto my back, knocking the wind out of my chest. My dazed eyes meet ones with a satisfied sadistic glint accompanied by scarred cheeks pulled up as his lips curve into a smile.

"Look's like we've caught another Wolf for us to free."

As I stir awake, I wince as my restraints pull my arms back behind a wooden pole and widen the wound in my shoulder.

"Look's like the wolf is awake." The same man who knocked me out in the park pokes me with a wooden bat, forcing my attention onto him.

"How many times do I have to say it, I'm not a WLF." My voice barely makes it through my chapped and busted open lips and even then it was barely a whisper. This was routine- the man, who I now knew was called Marcus, would come in every night, rough me up, ask me questions and then acquaint me with his bat every time I answered a question wrong. And apparently, all my answers so far were wrong. I think seven or eight days must have passed since the day they caught me. Maybe more. I don't know because I hadn't exactly been conscious the whole time I was here.

"Where is your leader?" He asks, fingers twitching around the handle of the bat, which by now I'm sure had been stained red with my own blood.

"Like I said before, I'm not even from this state so I have no idea what you cultist freaks are talking about." This time a faint echo of a laugh escapes my lips. Same questions, same answers, same beatings. I think I was starting to lose it. And as if Marcus knew his cue, he raises the bat, this time swinging into my side and I cry out but quickly gritting my teeth so he doesn't get the satisfaction. I fold into myself as much as my restraints and position on the floor allow me to. If I ever get out of here, I'm gonna swing that bat into his head so many times that he'll be a pile of bloody brains and wooden splints by the time I'm done with him.

A woman comes into the room and whispers something to Marcus and he seems somewhat disappointed and angry I think? The room itself was a shipping container turned into a makeshift interrogation/torture room. A single floodlight at the back of the room that always lit up Marcus' face while leaving me an aching shadowy creature for his amusement. Although I think he'd have no issue with inflicting pain even as he looked into my eyes. My head dips low as the exhaustion I've been fighting off for days finally creeps up into my eyelids.

I wince again as Marcus prods me in the same bruised spot he hit earlier and I jolt awake.

"No time to sleep wolf, we're taking you to be freed." Call it a hunch but I don't think my version of being freed and theirs matches up. Marcus keeps a gun trained on me as the woman unties me, not even bothering to lift me up fully before dragging me by the back of my collar out the container and over muddy tracks further into the forest. Dirt scrapes into the tips of my worn out boots and the more she tugs at my collar, the more I feel my airways constrict and my head getting lightheaded. It's only when she throws me into the ground and I finally see the sky for the first time in a week that I regain some of my senses. Adrenaline surges through and every hair on my body stands up as corpses of gutted prisoners swing above me, some with their necks snapped as a rope is the only thing keeping them in the air. Well shit. I guess I'm not getting out of here. Like ever.

Another prisoner gets thrown into the ground next to me and when I meet their eyes, I'm shocked to see the one face I had set off to Seattle for- Abby fucking Anderson. She stares at me blankly for a few moments before the realisation sets in.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" She laughs in disbelief, eyes still blown wide.

"Well as luck would have it, I actually came to find you."

"Me? What do you want me-"

"Shut the fuck up!" The high shrieking voice of a woman orders us and I tilt my chin to get a look at her. Dread slowly freezes every muscle as I see her wipe her bloody knife with a cloth- a knife she had just pulled out of a strung up girl. The girl, who was still swinging, must have been no older than twelve. These sick fucks were torturing and gutting children. Throwing the cloth into the fire they'd set in a barrel, she edges towards us, calmly. She remained expressionless even as she knelt down to push the tip of the knife into my throat- enough to draw some blood but not enough to do any real damage.

"You have such beautiful features." The cool tip of the blade glides across my cheekbones and jaw.

"Beautiful enough to spare my life?" I was grasping at smoke but there's no rule dictating what someone can and can't say in their last moments.

"I see this one has a sense of humour. I think She will be pleased with sacrifice." Well that was not where I was hoping she was going. "Who knows maybe you might have the blood of Restoration flowing through you." These people are batshit crazy.

"Restoration?" I ask, genuinely baffled and Abby's attention is also drawn into our exchange.

"We found scriptures from the Prophet that have guided us to a new goal: a cure for the horrors mankind has inflicted upon this world. We are no longer atoning for these sins, but instead She will guide us to a new world. One in which demons are no more and only the best of us will thrive." A cure?

"Who exactly is the Prophet?"

"You question the faith?" She jabs at me with a sharpness exceeding that of the knife in her hand, eyes narrowed into slits.

"What's the blood of Restoration?" This time it's Abby who speaks and I know why she's asking. She was part of the Salt Lake crew and I was praying she wouldn't give anything away. My eyes silently plead with hers and she looks away from me, her face neutral.

"The scriptures tell us of an individual whose blood can cure this world of its demons. Their body must be purified and their blood spilled."

"Purified?" I can't help the anxious shift in my tone but I try and play it off as curiosity. The woman says nothing, and her silence is all I need to make my own assumptions. I silently beg Abby once more, this time a subtle shake of my head when the woman's back is turned away as she fixes two sets of rope into nooses. She turns back to me and Abby, a noose in her hand and she paces forward to Abby, tossing it around her neck and tightening it. Abby struggles against the restraints, her tip toes barely reaching the upside down bucket that's stopping her from hanging.

A Seraphite comes rushing into the opening of the forest we were in and calls out to the woman.

"The other Wolf confessed. We know who has the cure." Grins adorn both their faces, and a trembling frown appears on my own. He mutters something else to her but it's too quiet for me to hear over the sounds of Abby struggling. If I could just find something to cut myself free. But there's nothing. No way I could escape.

"Outsider, where did you say you were from?" I realise she's talking to me and I keep my lips tight. The flickering of the torch is slowly growing brighter as the sky grows darker and darker. Another storm must be coming. I drop my head back into the mud ignoring her and accepting reality. I was going to die and so was Ellie. My journey here had been for nothing.

Marcus rushes in, heavy thudding footsteps hammering into the ground as he pants out of breath that the 'apostate' has escaped. Well I guess someone would get out of this shithole, it just wouldn't be me.

"Go. Spread the word that our goal is completely clear: we must find the girl in Jackson and bring her to Haven." No, no, no. Fuck. Who told these sick freaks about Ellie? I was supposed to keep her safe and instead, she's going to die without even so much as a warning. I desperately needed to get out of here.

As Marcus hurries away, the whistle of an arrow fills the air and the woman drops limp to the mud as an arrow pierces her skull through her eyes. Lighter steps patter against the dirt and relief floods through Abby as she looks past me to a small child with their head shaved and scars on their cheeks just like the other Seraphites.

"Lev, thank god." Abby strains out as they cut her down, a thud sounding as she falls to the floor, heavy pants as she gets rid of the noose, red marks spanning her neck and mud smeared over her tank top. I drop my head back to the ground, staring up at the grey clouds and swaying branches until Abby's bulky figure comes into view, blocking the sun like some muscular eclipse.

"You're uh- you're blocking my sunlight." She questioningly raises a brow. "I'd like to spend my last few moments bathing in the light, I don't think they have a sun in the afterlife."

"Are you always this stupid?" She asks, still looming over me.

"Only when I'm close to death."

"You're not dying dumbass. Lev untie her. You're coming with us so you can explain exactly why you came to Seattle for me."

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cherrieguroo · 21 hours

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Animal crossing new horizons headcanons for the nerd bunch

Steph

- normcore I think that's what people call it but it's basically just like. a normal town with no specific style. but her house is decorated to her liking and she has her villager's home in a forest she planted herself. she also has mods and she has just a part near the top of her island where there's just a shit ton of bells just dropped on the floor.

-steph definitely gives me black tulip door wreath vibes.

-steph's favorite villager is cherry and she changed cherry's catchphrase to 'bitch' so now she says stuff like "Yeah, go for it, bitch. This oughta be good…’

-steph has a room in her house purely for 'summonings' after she found out if you combine a specific wall and flooring you can create a summoning circle.

-steph refuses to pay tom nook, so her house isn't upgraded that much.

-steph set up a small space in her island for the nerds to fool around in whenever they visited. that space now mostly consists of pit falls and stumps. someone also left a switch there and steph didn't even try to figure out who put it there and just kept it as decor for her house. also Steph has green mums outside her house which she says is supposed to be a weed farm.

Grace

-grace definitely has meticulously designed her island and it's fairycore. rip star fragment trees grace would have loved those. her island has a shit ton of pink tulips everywhere too. grace has a part of her island which is just a forest with a lot of flowers. she also has those like custom design paintings in said forest that read 'god is good' or some shit and she thinks every island should have a god forest.

-grace has the pink wedding event door thingy.

-grace has two tricycles she put outside of nook's cranny that she pretends belong to timmy and tommy

-favorite villager is ruby sorry

-grace loves the wedding event items and her island and house are full of them

Ruth

-her island is a mess to me lmao. her island tune is the iconic part in careless whisper and tiffany is her favorite villager. none of her island is actually decorated btw. and she constantly wears one of those custom design dresses that make it look like the villager has a bikini. ruth collects gyroids after she was taught how to get them by Richie. she just collects the little guys and has them outside her airport as a welcome thingy. ruth uses the effects feature a lot, mainly putting hearts on stuff. only decorating Ruth really did on her island is make a rainbow flower field which she and the rest of the nerds call the gay flower trail. ruth seems to be eternally broke. Richie offers her money and she accepts and ten minutes later she somehow managed to waste it all on the most useless decor

Richie

-his island is littered with references to animes. he has two godzilla statues outside his house. has definitely gotten much more advancements than the others. wishes he could have started out on a modded island but it's too late. his house is made to be his dream home and his room has custom designs of anime posters on the walls. he completed his museum and probably has most furniture items in his catalog. he also completed happy home designer and has a lot of amiibos. richie redecorated all of his villager's homes, both interior and exterior. richie made a crab rave on his beach. richie also collects gyroids and uses them to decorate. he also likes setting up little songs with them for specific rooms in his house.

richie's island flag is this.

Pete

-somehow the one with the best looking island. it's five stars somehow and each villager gets custom personalized yards. pete is really into flower breeding. he's also trying to complete the museum but keeps forgetting to catch some seasonal creatures and fish. pete NEVER skips blather's fun facts. in fact he writes all of them down and annoys Ruth and Richie with them. he's even memorized some for the more common fish and bugs that especially pissed Richie off when he was collecting everything (like sea basses)

petes house has the highest happy home academy rating

#starkid #hatchetfield #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #hatchetverse #team starkid #stephanie lauter #steph lauter #peter spankoffski #pete spankoffski #ruth fleming #richie lipschitz #grace chasity

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bunposting · 10 months

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Super hot take. I mean like the hottest take ever in the history of rabbits. The literal spiciest take of all time. The carolina reaper of takes, even.

If a color variety is endemic to a breed, it should probably, in many if not most cases, be an accepted variety for that breed.

Ok so now that all the color purists are foaming at the mouth and running to their keyboards to chew me out, lemme explain for those who might not know what I'm talking about. As usual, this will be lengthy and in depth because I am incapable of Shutting Up.

Those three color varieties are black, brown (chestnut/agouti), and fawn. The thing with these three color varieties is that with one main exception (we'll get to that in a moment), you're not going to get any colors except those three when you intermix them. If you breed a black to a brown, you'll get browns and blacks. If you breed a brown to a fawn, you'll probably get browns. It makes sense to generally not want to intermix them though, because in theory if you mix these colors, it can result in the kits not having quite the depth of color you want (apparently. This is what I was told by other Silver breeders). A black to a brown could result in browns with too much black, and blacks that aren't as deep as would be desirable. A brown to a fawn could result in browns that are just too dull or light in color. I can understand the reasoning behind not wanting to do this kind of color mixing, especially in a breed where fur color is such an important part of their Standard of Perfection. (In fact, other than silvering and fur texture.. it is *the most important* part in the modern Silver standard... I have opinions on that, but I've shared some of those in a separate post)

----

Example that I am currently aware of in the breed I am currently working with: The Silver technically only has three accepted color varieties for the breed in the United States (four in the UK, but we'll get to that in a moment). That means there are only three color varieties that can be shown, and generally means only three color varieties that will be considered 'part of the breed.'

Remember how I mentioned about the UK having a fourth accepted color variety? You'd think - well considering the only other endemic color that isn't red-eyed white is tort, it's gotta be tort, right? NOPE. It's blue. Where does blue fit in the other three color varieties? It doesn't. It's the dilute of black, yes, but the dilute gene isn't present in any of the other varieties, so technically, dilute isn't a gene that should generally exist in the breed. The only way you can get purebred blue Silvers is to import them from the UK. Other than that, you've got to do some crossbreeding in order to get it, and doing that means you need years and years of careful breeding to take all the traits of the rabbit you're using for crossbreeding out of the breed you're going for. It's a long, difficult process that requires a lot of breeders to work on it, a lot of money, a lot of cage space, and a lot of culling. There had been a Certificate of Development (CoD) for blue Silvers in the states, but it just expired this year because folks just couldn't keep up with it and there wasn't enough interest I guess.

The one typical exception is black to fawn. This pairing can result in a new color, known as black tortoiseshell (or black tort - I'll just be referring to it as 'tort' here). Basically that means the rabbit has a primarily fawn body with black points and black belly/side markings. The other less typical exception is red-eyed white, but this is, so far as I can tell, fairly rare compared to tort in the case of Silvers. Which is good, because perhaps the most important part of a Silver is the silvering, and you can't see silvering if the rabbit is already white. This is one case where a potentially endemic color variety is one that definitely shouldn't be accepted I think, especially considering it's not a common thing to have pop up.

(disclaimer for the two above paragraphs; this is based on the knowledge I have of rabbit color genetics. I absolutely do not claim to be an expert in color genetics and it is a topic I am definitely still learning. If something mentioned is inaccurate, please let me know!!)

Why is that relevant? Because one of the main reasons I was told why tort Silvers shouldn't be a thing, other than just being told that "we don't need another variety," is that getting a CoD and creating a new variety is such a long and difficult process.

That's just it though - it's not a long and difficult process in this case. The color variety already exists in the breed. There's no need to worry about the rabbits having the wrong body or fur type or not having enough silvering any more than you would any other Silver, because they're already purebred Silvers. The effort is minimal, to be honest. It wouldn't be any different than breeding and showing any other 'normal' Silver with the exception of needing to write the standard - which, again, would be as easy as looking at any other breed's standard for the black tort coloration and pretty much just copying and pasting that into the color section. Is it maybe more difficult than I'm able to perceive it as? Sure. Maybe. But that doesn't negate the reason why this is important.

And why is it important?

Because Silvers are already an incredibly endangered breed. They're already genetically bottlenecked enough as it is, not just because there's only about 500 left in the world, but also because breeders insist on only breeding pure colors. Tort Silvers could contain extremely valuable genetic variation to help prevent some of that bottlenecking.

Because tort Silvers are freaking beautiful. I've been told on numerous occasions how stunningly beautiful a tort Silver can be. Beautiful rabbits draw in more breeders. A rare breed can only be saved if there are enough breeders willing to keep it alive. If people can get interested in the breed from this variety, it could be a key to helping to save the breed.

Because we don't need to be wasting anymore perfectly good genetic material. Yeah this kind of ties in with point number one, but here's the other side of it: if tort Silvers aren't an accepted variety, that means any tort Silver technically should be culled. I wish it were as easy as saying "well just don't breed blacks to fawns then." Problem is, folks have already done it, and they've already sold the offspring, and those offspring have already bred and become part of the overall gene pool. It is entirely possible and honestly not even that uncommon to pair a black Silver to another black Silver, to not know of any fawn in the immediate pedigrees of either one, and to end up with a litter of over half black tort. By the logic of breeders right now, those entire litters are pretty much worthless beyond maybe food or fur, or at least the tort half are. This breed can't afford to have 'worthless' rabbits that otherwise fully meet the breed standard and would be a good candidates for continuing the breed.

And so, to make a long story short, especially in the case of a rare breed like a Silver, it is absolutely ridiculous in my opinion and honestly potentially damaging to decide that a truly endemic color variety (especially one that is commonly found in litters where it wasn't even being intentionally bred for) can't or shouldn't become an accepted variety for a breed.

#i'm willing to be a variety purist to a certain point #like. i understand the reasoning. i get it. it's fine.#but to go so far as to say this variety can't be accepted because it's born from mixing existing varieties is just... it's so stupid.#*especially* because it's so common for it to just pop up in litters that are born from same-variety parents.#i literally could go on about this topic for hours it literally makes me so upset.#this is one of those cases where I'm like. yeah sometimes other breeders really piss me off.#i have to wonder what the folks who argue so strongly against making tort an official variety are actually breeding Silvers for #because like. idk about them but I'm doing it primarily for conservation and trying to help save the breed from potential extinction.#i would imagine that that along with the usual trying to better the breed should be the main reasons why people work with them #and if thats the case then why wouldn't we try to do something that could potentially help those conservation efforts???#anyways. yeah. rant of the day ig.

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stonersolana · 5 days

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it's so fun when the people who took everything from you claim to be the real victims. like, y'all want to dump a years-long friendship in a dumpster fire just cause you're in a romantic relationship and that's the only thing that matters to you, go fucking ahead. but don't pretend to be the victim when you were the one who destroyed it.

you don't get to take literally everything from me and claim that you were the real victim when the only thing you didn't take was the skin off my bones.

#sunbun speaks #i keep having nightmares/memories of the 3-ish people who literally left me with nothing but the clothes on my back #and kept asking for more because it wasn't enough #or the fact that every single one of them basically turned into whoever their partner wanted them to be and would ditch their own parents #if their partner told them they didn't like them anymore #using me as a scapegoat whenever they had negative feelings and accuse me of being the source instead of a voice of reason #or just straight up getting pissed at me when i wasn't going to play their toxic game #and by the end of it all i had nothing: no clothes or any of my stuff no money nowhere to go and no friends #they destroyed my life while i was barely a blip in theirs #people who grew up with wealthy parents are fucking pricks #because yeah that's another thing they all had in common other than being codependent af: they all grew up with upper-middle class parents #they just took and took and took and tossed me aside #cause btw it's really hard to get back a lifetimes worth of stuff in only a few years with no money #i still remember everything they took from me and not just material possessions #and in the end they wanted me to apologize to them for being inadequate in filling my role as emotional punching bag #only for none of them to feel any remorse and get mad at me for implying they did anything that i didn't deserve #even looking at my life now i only have my partner and my kids #as much as i try i can't fix the fact that I'm autistic which means i will always struggle with human interaction #so it's not like it's easy to make friends #especially not friends who don't religiously devote themselves at the alter of toxic monogamy and view anyone else as 'extra' and disposable #in a matter of three years those three people took everything from me and despite it being 6 years later i am STILL recovering what i lost #how can you destroy someone's life who never did anything to you and still consider yourself the victim

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annalyticall · 7 months

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To be honest I think I'm starting to become so apathetic to gender that I could possibly be non-binary but at the same time I am also just apathetic enough to not care about changing my pronouns or doing anything differently about how i present to people

#long gender rant incoming but i've never not identified as a woman and I'll probably always be one #but also i don't think i identify so much as a woman that i find it to be so drastically different to being a man?#like i never identified as a man either and never will but also like. idk we're all just people man #it's the roles we impose on ourselves that makes it seem like there's such a chasm there but there's not #like sure i'm sure on some level being a woman predisposes me to behave certain ways #but i was also fortunate enough to be raised in a household where my gender didn't bar me from playing with or liking things deemed for boy #so when i gravitated towards engineering and action movies and video games i mingled a lot more with boys than i did girls #not to be a 'not like other girls' girl but just because i naturally wanted to surround myself with people of common interests #and that just kind of normalized for me sharing space and thoughts with men as an equal #and sure sometimes men in particular piss me off but mostly just the men who subscribe to the bs role they were given as a 'man'#like the ones who don't think they could possibly relate to me because I'm a woman #like fuck that. obviously. but i also find it hard to identify with movies like barbie that draw such a clear divide between genders #like i remember my biggest problem with the movie is that very rarely did it feel like the kens and barbies ever genuinely liked each other #i know that wasn't the point of the movie. it is a critique of gender roles and the patriarchy so relationships were not the focus #but i also couldn't really see myself in the barbies and i found it kinda hard to fully immerse myself in the message of it #idk. all this to say i am a woman but sometimes i wish i didn't have to make a big deal about it #oh yeah okay no wonder i'm bisexual

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zemnarihah · 1 month

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my best friend has been very distant w me lately and i asked today if she wanted to hang out and she said she probably couldn't bc it's her brothers birthday but she would let me know if she could and i have her location and i just looked and she's at her boyfriends house rn....

#we have it bc we're roomates so we started sharing locations when we first moved in like in case someone doesn't come home at night or smth #she recently told me that she wants to move out bc she has always wanted to live alone and she can finally afford it. and i asked her #directly like is there an issue because she is so non confrontational so she has never ever mentioned me doing anything that bothers her #and i said please tell me if there's something wrong because it would really suck if there was and i never got a chance to fix it because #you never told me. and she said no it has nothing to do with that i really just feel like it's time for me to live on my own. and a couple #days ago she was like okay i'm next in line for my apartment i'll probably move out in april. and i try to get her to hang out still and #she always has something else going on and i swear every night this week she's been at her boyfriends.#and if i see her around our apartment and try to make conversation at all she's so like short about it and barely responds like will only #give one word answers. i feel like it kind of started when i started dating e but i realized that i was spending less time with her and i #didn't want to be the girl that loses all my friends bc of a boyfriend so i started specifically reaching out to hang out with her and she #says no most of the time and never asks me. like i don't know what else i can do.#i'm like maybe it's bc of her boyfriend? bc they've been on again off again for a long time and previously when they were together it was #really distant with her like i barely saw her EVER. and they were mostly broken up for the past couple years and have been together i think #for a while again... but she knows i don't approve of that relationship and so she would like not say when they were talking again. so maybe #since lately they've been hanging out or dating or WHATEVER she doesn't fucking tell me what's going on with him. maybe that's why.#i literally like try to think of ways it could be my fault and maybe i'm being crazy but i cannot even think to blame myself for more than a #fleeting second bc i'm like. i have ASKED HER directly if there is an issue or something i do that bothers her and she says no. so even if #i'm somehow pissing her off would i ever know to change anything?? i just feel so frustrated bc it's like she's an entirely different person #to me. like this is not the person i know. and i don't know what else i could possibly do like i feel like we need to sit down and have a #conversation about it but what good does that do if she just acts like nothing is wrong. but i don't want to lose my friend i have such a #hard time making friends. i've known her since i was 14 like i can't imagine my life without her. we were the only two in our whole friend #group in high school to get out of the church i still love those other girls but we have so little in common now.

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deus-ex-mona · 2 months

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s. s ave me, meoto…

#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst #today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed #man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh #first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing #*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA #stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything #and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady #who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa #and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely #but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination #and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me #the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol #anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..

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parakeetpark · 7 months

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I've finally cracked and I'm learning how to mod skyrim. My poor laptop doesn't deserve to suffer so I'm downloading the unofficial patch, and at most 10 mods....What made me crack was the repetitive dialogue ngl... BUT, this will NOT become like Stardew Valley where I have 350 mods and got really into it bc Skyrim is too... much work and possible issues for that

#also #sorry but i NEED Teldryn Sero's mask to somewhat match his armour #i can't deal with glass armour with chitin mask anymore #there's 3 mods i have in mind #and i will briefly find a few other ones that are for people who need Vanilla like experiences w nothing straining my baby laptop #ngl i got very angry at the condescending tone of a Guide to how to mod and almost decided not to bother #and there's an overwhelming amount of text to read when you first get into it and i have adhd. so the 'you HAVE to read EVERY line'#attitude of this guide pissed me off #especially when they were assuming i wanted to go extreme enough to need a tool to extend a 350 mod limit on it??? i think???#and no one clearly explained WHY i should use a mod manager. in sdv modding it's not common practice to use one so it was shock #i was like why would i need that???? and everywhere just kept telling me - you need it. get this one. it makes it easier #HOW?????#finally found a guy who did a short 10 part YouTube series of vids and explained in the first 5m vid why it's helpful #mannnnn #i get cross if it's not clear why i 'need' something. telling me over and over that i need it doesn't explain what it's use is #anyway #once i got past the Very Rambling aspect of the guide it started to make sense #so I'll get on with it tonight #skyrim posting

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sevenstevearmy · 4 months

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😡🤒

#my step mother might have given me covid. couldn't atay in her fucking room had to cough all over the house #i'm gonna be pissed if she did. i already have asthma and i'm having some trouble breathinh rn #plus my head hurty. i have to miss work and my body aches and i so eepy but laying down makes breathing worse #i have appointment to get tested tomorrow it better say no covid here bc i am not trying to die #i'm literally already disabled come on. and i can't eat but i need to eat. i did get some water into me. i'm so nauseous #and there's nothing i htae more than nausea bc it's one of my fucking PTSD triggers #if i start having an attack i'm going to pass out in this condition. i needed to ho grocery shopping but now i can't #i have nothing i can eat or drink really bc plain water makes me nauseous lucky me. i took some ibuprofen but it's never worked well on me #of course acetaminophen doesn't work on me at all so here we are. i'm absolutely going to cry but that's going to make my head hurt more #she better have given me one of the other three things she got from the kids at schook i don't want covid #i have all my boosters but still. i am an at risk person. and just the amount of disrespect from hanging out in common soaces while sick #this meant i had to keep myself stuck in my room but i still had to eat in the kitchen which she contaminated. i'm pissed

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bloodyke · 11 months

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family brought some bug into the house im gonna take a covid test tomorrow

#zenith.txt #beyo d frustrating that i do literally everything right by not leaving my house and if i do i wear a kn95 every single time #and i dont eat at resturaunts and i dont go into enclosed spaces with other people and yet bc of other people being irresponsable #they mightve guven it to me..... im beyond pissed #if it is covid im going on a rampage no one will be spared my wrath they KNOW im immunocompromised #everyone hope for the best and its just strep throat or the common cold #ill still be incredibly pissed off that my supposed family put my life in danger like this but at least i wont be in actual danger #anyways if you dont wear a mask and you dont take covid precautions and act like its over give all disabled people $500 and kill yourself #im also gonna buy a portable HEPA air filter for my room #im just so annoyed i beg them to take it seriously and they refuse to...#im going to die out of spite to make them guilty....#anyways i have like 8 vovid tests stockpiled so ill take one every day for the next week just in case i get a false negative #im.even more frustrated bc i havent gotten it this entire time like i did literally everything in my power and avoided it for years #and now if i got it bc i of shit ass family visiting whom i didnt even want here.....#die die die die kill yourself jump off a bridge etc

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jade-curtiss · 8 months

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Wow I can't believe I woke up in time so I can have the delightful experience of going waste my time with service canada. It will be great.

#it's a walking distance but like just the concept that someone is fucking sick and absolutely no one #no fucking body could help at all because I currently don't have much of a social circle #i mean the only person helping me is also struggling with the same shit #so we're just equally pissed while none can do anything to progress with their own situation #it seems to be kind of common in quebec to have that kind of situation #i moved in montreal actually to reduce how often and actually have accessibility #but to make in context #if i would have stayed in a rural place in my own context I'd be dead by now and that's a fact #i don't know if every other province are like this but the idea we give that we are such a progressive country stop existing #with simple things like not being able to drive and if you have any kind of disability that could be easily accomodable well fuck it #they will just leave you in your own shit while giving a fake sympathetic apology and this is exactly why i want to slug canadians more than #americans in general #i mean if usamericans have something over Canadians in every circumstance is that they're genuine to an extend #being genuine and honest is probably the least canadian thing someone can do #instead they recognize your problems if they see them pretend things will change only to make the problem worse in a subtle way and #expect you to die in the meantime (no it's not an exaggeration eugenics are very fundamental in this culture)#probably more than in america actually #it's weird how Canadian culture rest upon only two things and it's eugenics and colonial elitism #and yet it passes for the most progressive country because we don't shoot all sort of marginalizable people on sight #but do we do anything to help them #the answer #is #also #no #also our healthcare is a fucking scam

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teaboot · 6 days

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This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.

I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.

(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)

Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.

And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.

I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.

And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.

But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.

But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.

And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.

So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.

And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.

But what if I hadn't known how to do that?

What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?

What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?

My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.

And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?

How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?

I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.

I think I'm gonna frame it.*

(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)

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