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antiloreolympus · 3 years

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10 Anti LO Asks

1. ok but thats also i think i dont get? because without the series or character names, what of any of the promo images or banner or anything else give away it's supposed to be a greek mythology story? they just look like people with weird anatomy who are colored like highlighters. at the very least some iconography should be on them, but there's not? like even percy jackson stuff makes sure to give him a trident and have water flowing around him.

2. rachel made three times where persephone could have made the choice to be with hades willingly and didnt do it each time. first time she was drugged and put into his car, where he phsyically handles her unconscious body and puts her in his bed (ew). second is her working for him, which was hera forcing it. third was her going to the underworld not because she wanted to, but because she was hiding from the law/apollo and he found her. where exactly is her agency in all of this?

3. LO seems like the fast food of webtoons. because there's no room to speculate or theorize, you just read an episode and move on, the bright colors distract that it's a rushed and lazy product over something with high quality and effort, the characters are flat and boring, and the plot has no substance. it's meant to be consumed in a rapid binge, because if not you realize what low-effort and what little you're actually getting from it when you slow down and actually think about it.

4. i mean rachel does have some logic to her fancasting, the problem is it seems the only people of color are either demonized for being hypersexual (aphrodite, eros until he's with psyche) or are literally r//pists who are out to harm her white-fa casted persephone (apollo), so yeah, there is logic there, it's just pointing to rachel being (hopefully unintentionally) racist

5. It pisses me so much that I work over time (using references and looking at paintings and reading history for ideas for interesting character motifs) so that any of the ancient greek characters I draw look cool and authentically greek, and yet fucking Rachel Smythe, who can't even be bothered to do more than 5 seconds of research to learn that not all ancient greek outfits were shitty, minimalist off white and eggshell, gets to be revered as an artistic revolutionary. It pisses me off so. Fucking. Much. Not just for me, but for everyone else like me who absolutely ADORES greek mythology and wants to draw accurate portrayals of these characters! To whoever is reading this, stop. Stop rn and go read Sleep and His Brother Death (a comic on webtoons), go play Hades (the video game), go read The Song of Achilles (a book by Madeline Miller). Those are beautiful pieces of fiction about Greek mythology that deserve your attention more then Rachel and her shitty pink highlighter self inserts.

And a sidenote, I know that this is kinda like a modern AU for the gods. I am aware. Does not change that fact that anytime any character is drawn in ancient greek fashion it's always the SAME. SHITTY. CHITON. Maybe with a.cape or a scarf, but for the most part? It's just the same stupid, off white chiton.

6. oh, i thought you guys were joking persephone is now stuck with red eyes. is that seriously what look we're stuck with now? does rachel know it looks really ugly?

7. i feel like the lineart less style actually hurts LO in a way. way too often you can look at a panel and it becomes really murky where something starts and ends, and it looks even worse on a phone screen, because on an even smaller screen the images look even more compressed, making it even harder to tell stuff apart. this wouldnt be as bad if the comic took back up its more high contrast look from the begging, but now it's all one flat shade and im not sure why.

8. im really confused over the marketing of LO, tbh. like the ads are all hxp focused, but the series name implies its not about them, but focusing on the 12 olympians, but then the synopsis is general mythology and at the very end randomly mentions its about persephone? but then you read it and nots sure whether its a teen romance, a comedy, a serious drama, and can't stay straight with its messaging and timeline? and persephone is not there for a chunk of time. like whats actually going on?? 😭

9. Chapter 173 is like 50% filler. It gives more questions that answers, and not just from the reporters. Like the reporter stuff was mostly filler, and the Persphone and Hades stuff was like yeah we know dont need to drag this on.

My questions are WHAT ARE THE RED EYES? Is it when she’s mad? Horny? Sad? Happy? I feel like the red eyes just show up whenever RS wants to draw them

Flying? I feel like Persphone has always been flying like it wasn’t a bug moment at all. She flew home when Minthe and Hades kissed. But apperently Demeter didn’t know? I guess I don’t remember her flying in the mortal realm but her flying didn’t seem like a big moment, none of the other characters seemed surprised by it.

“Answer mine first!” When i got to that line I reread some of it just to find where the question was. That line normally matters when you’ve already asked the question not if you haven’t gotten there yet. Like of course Demeter is gonna be worried and ask a million questions.

I know the pomegranate pin is gonna be important but I felt the focus on it was a little too much, like an excuse not to cover more this chapter. Because honestly it felt like 5 minutes of the plot was covered in this chapter.

10. So uh, whats up with Hades weird ass comments... Like "Persephone you look beautiful and if someone says otherwise they can go play on the highway" ???

Because Persephone looking good during a murder trial is clearly the most important thing here.

Also, Perse's response to the reporter who asked her about her friendship with Hades. I mean, on one hand Persephone is right, her "friendship" (or whatever it is they have going on) is nobodies business but her own - but at the same time, its kinda also the underworld denizens right to know in the sense that their future leadership could be affected so they might want to know whats going on if their getting a new co-ruler / Queen that they will be subjects of. They probably will want to know who Persephone is, should she and Hades get married because it's very likely that when (cause lets be real its a 'when' not 'if' they get married) they do get married that Persephone will inherit half the title.

So, eh?

#anti lo #anti lore olympus #lore olympus critical #lo critical

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imaginethebeautifulworld · 3 years

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prussia x reader: silly squabbles

Hello, lovelies~ I was plagued by images of this dumbass and his general ridiculousness, so of course I had to write it all out. This fic is pointless, but I hope you enjoy anyway.

"You are really annoying."

"And yet, somehow, I'm not detecting any real annoyance. Wonder why?"

His words hung lightly in the air, gentle and playful, just shy of taunting.

You did your best to ignore them, trying to focus on your book. But his fingers were moving again, trailing over your back in an inconsistent pattern, heavy enough a presence to register, yet just light enough to torment.

You were sure, in some long-winded, ridiculous, roundabout way, he would blame you for this predicament- for not reading as fast as him, for not paying him enough attention during a lazy day in.

Regardless, you tried to focus on the passage at hand, rereading the same paragraph for the tenth time now as he teased a particularly sensitive spot near your ribs.

He wasn't quite tickling you- not yet- but the shifting tempo and pressure all played upon the obvious threat.

Only mildly irritated- really, you were too familiar with his shenanigans by now to ever be truly annoyed- your focus landed on the bookcase, the only immediate target for your long-suffering gaze. "Do you mind?"

There was a hint of pride in his voice as he answered, a cockiness at successfully distracting you. "Nope!"

His fingers- now having tasked themselves with massaging more than teasing- paused between your shoulder blades. "Why? Do you?"

Rather than allow him another victory, you huffed quietly, pointedly making an effort to lose yourself once more in your book. "No... Not at all."

If he was amused by your answer practically being ground between your teeth, he made no indication of it. Instead, he resumed his massage, keeping his palm mostly flat against your spine, adopting a steady rhythm that lulled you into some semblance of security.

You allowed yourself to relax, turning your attention fully to your tale, praying he would at least let you finish this chapter in relative peace.

It was a hope to be short-lived alas, his posture shifting, bringing him near enough to read over your shoulder.

You were far too invested to truly pay him any mind, but then he was hovering near your temple, fingers drifting ever closer to your neck, once more dancing in that maddeningly light way which he employed solely in effort to agitate you.

You knew what he was doing, and you'd be damned if you'd let him win; summoning every ounce of self-restraint within you, you purposely, blatantly, chose to ignore him.

It took only a few moments for him to acknowledge your determination towards defiance (a few torturous moments where he had started tracing his nails against your hairline and whispered some of the passage aloud), his huff of displeasure bring you a small taste of sweet, sweet victory.

You would have been naive to think he had given up, knew it would be foolish to assume, to dare to presume, that he didn't already have other strategies in mind.

What you couldn't guess, regretfully, was exactly which plan he would attempt next.

When he sat upright once more, leaving you to lounge peacefully on your stomach, you unwisely surmised that he was actually finished with the whole affair, that he'd grown bored, that he would actually leave you to your novel in peace.

Feeling him shift back to the head of the bed, hearing him tapping away at his phone- these factors allied with his distance away from you all allayed your worries, letting you escape once more to the realm belonging to the pages before you.

The temporary tranquility was somehow less than simply fleeting; it had scarcely existed at all.

Not even five minutes had passed, and you felt teasing fingers once more, now grazing ever-so-softly against the bare skin of your ankle.

A jolt of panic fueled your reflexive movement away from him, your legs kicking, book falling to the floor in your surprise.

You shot upright and fixed him with a glare, hoping to convey just how furious you were with him. "I swear to God-!"

The villainous grin on his face revealed vanity in its purest form, and it did nothing to reduce your resentment.

Scowling now, and forcing yourself into an upright position, you narrowed your eyes at him. "What do you want, asshole?"

He was quiet for a moment, by all appearances still savoring his triumph. But then his smile shifted, the self-satisfied smirk falling slowly into something softer, fonder.

It took you by surprise, sent a stutter through your pulse, all irritation rapidly transitioning into confusion. "What?"

He shifted forward, leg bending beneath him as he drew closer.

Suspicious, but not too concerned, you offered an unimpressed expression, relaying your distrust. "Gil?"

There was a flicker to his smile, but it was soon replaced by something far more serious, his eyes languidly studying your features.

Briefly, more a passing fancy, you considered teasing him for his sudden quiet, yet there was something too tremulous tormenting him, and you dismissed the thought as quickly as it came, instead offering your concern. “Teuton?”

Whatever spell that had held him within its grasp was finally dismissed, his head cocking to the side and a considering tone coating his next words. “You love me, right?”

It sounded innocent enough, and his behavior certainly suggested no ill-intent. But you knew him, and knew all-too-well not to fully believe in it. “Is that a trick question?”

You made sure to keep your words only just on the side of playful, but tempered with enough sincerity to assuage any possible self-doubts that may be afflicting him.

It was clearly the right approach, the left corner of his mouth only just hinting at a smile, a familiar spark almost tangible in the air. “It’s a simple question, Liebling. No need to sound so suspicious!”

You felt your eyes narrow as you studied him, his wording only heightening your wariness. “You know- The fact you feel you have to say so really isn’t winning you any points here.”

His grin was back at that, disorienting in its intensity, just enough that you nearly forgot his previous grimness. “I’m just asking if you love me, mein Schatz. ‘Snot like I’m asking you to sell me your immortal soul or something.”

You neglected to point out how those two things were near one and the same, instead choosing to offer a faux sincerity. “Oh no, you’re right. I hate you so much,” you quipped, each syllable oversaturated in sarcasm.

He scoffed, melodramatically pressing a hand to his chest. “I’m wounded.”

You rolled your eyes, leaning down just long enough to rescue your book from the floor, marking your page and setting beside you on the comforter. “I’m sure your pride will be just fine."

“I dunno…” His words trailed off, and you could make out the distinct, irritating sound of him sucking on his teeth. “I think it may be mortal this time.”

You decided to play along, content to lose yourself in the absurdity. “Oh no,” came your reply, emotionless a tone as you could muster, in spite of the smile playing on your lips. “How could I possibly live with myself?”

He hummed, running a finger over his chin as if he were seriously considering it. “You’d probably take my fortune, settle somewhere warm.”

You fought a laugh, unsuccessfully. “Mm, definitely. Have sordid affairs with all the cabana boys and the waitresses.”

“Sing drunken renditions of Mamma Mia during karaoke night.”

“And I’ll adopt some ugly, exotic pet that I insist travels with me everywhere.”

“Only after your third husband disappears after mysterious circumstances, of course.”

He was only half-serious, and you couldn’t resist raising an eyebrow in mock offense. “Only three?”

Your question made him snicker, his eyes shining in amusement, but he didn’t continue the exchange.

Several moments passed, and with them the lingering ridiculousness of the “argument” faded away. There were many of these odd backs-and-forths, all somehow sillier than the last. The quiet was just as pleasant though, and you embraced the comfort it carried.

That was, until, he was biting his lip in thought, his amusement long abandoned.

Concerned, you shifted closer, studying his features carefully. "Gil?"

His eyes were glued to some distant place you couldn’t see, miles and centuries away from the here and now. “You do love me, right?”

“Of course,” you replied almost reflexively, still taken aback by the sudden shift back to solemnity.

“Really?” His eyes turned to yours once more, unguarded, open, a haunting fragility shining in them that made your heart clench inside your chest.

Wherever this insecurity came from, you wished you could rid him of it, tear all traces of it from his psyche, make it so he would never question his self-worth ever again.

As it was, you did what you could, lifting his hand to your lips and pressing a soft kiss to his ring, meeting his gaze as you lingered against the silver. “Would you be wearing this if I didn’t?”

There was a smile, the one you fell in love with: fond, slightly shy, just a little cocky. “Good point.”

You couldn’t help but feel as if something was still off about him however, something bothering him that you couldn’t even hope to guess. “Why do you ask, anyway?”

He took to studying your features again, his free hand rising to trace his fingers softly against your cheek. His eyes were warm and gentle, posture completely at ease. His words however-

“Sometimes I can’t believe this is real, or how lucky I am; some days I swear you’re just a figment of my imagination.”

His words carried an almost unbearable amount of loneliness, layered among disbelief and adoration. They triggered several different emotions within you, stirring them into a frenzied muss of affection and sadness, leaving you breathless.

Several potential reactions came to mind, but were all dismissed as you weighed his words, compared them to the relaxation of his shoulders, the familiarity as he languidly brushed his fingertips behind your ear, lightly teasing your scalp.

You could easily surrender to it, could already feel your own posture relaxing with each steady shift of his fingers. Still, you weren’t quite ready to abandon your prior playfulness, offering a haughty hum to prelude your reply.

“Unfortunately for you, I’m very real.” You felt a passing smirk flicker to life for a moment, blazing brightly before it was gone again, sober sincerity settling once more in its place. “You’re stuck with me, Beilschmidt. Forever…” you finished in an elongated stage whisper.

He breathed a laugh, the slightest hiss, his grin irrepressible now. His tone, however, mimicked nonchalance. “Eh. There are worse things, I guess.”

The tease was impossible to ignore, especially as that all-too-familiar deviousness was taunting in its own right.

You tried to keep your words accusatory, but they came out entirely too fond. “You’re a dick.”

He smirked, offering a half-hearted shrug.

“Guilty,” he sang, almost entirely too proud.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, he was cradling both of your cheeks, and before you could guess at his next move, he was shifting forward, gently pressing a kiss to your forehead. “But I’m a dick who loves you very much.”

Thanks for reading!

#prussia x reader #readerfic #gilbert beilschmidt x reader #hello lovelies!#i'll add more tags later ugh #aph prussia #hws prussia #i hope y'all are well!#i've missed writing #i'm hoping i can get back to this one ancient artie request i received aeons ago #thanks for reading!#aph prussia x reader #hetalia prussia #hetalia prussia x reader #hws prussia x reader #gilbert beilschmidt

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codenamebooks · 3 years

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10 Books I Hope to Read in 2021

This isn’t in any particular order, just books that I hope and plan to read this year. I’m really inspired by my reading year in 2020 which was the best in a long time I truly believe––may academics allow––that I can carry that into the new year. I set my Goodreads goal to 24 books and here are 10 I hope get included:

1. A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

This is the first ever book that I’ve preordered, so this is an important mention! I fell in love with the A Court of Thorns and Roses series last year (my #1 books of 2020) so I plan to keep up with it. All of the characters are my little babies that I want to protect. Their relationships are so sweet and they make me laugh and cry and make me happiness and fearful and hopeful. The fae world is also amazing with a great plot that got super political and action packed in book 3 and I hope to see some of that in this 5th book.

2. Never Fade by Alexandra Bracken

I’m also really big on wanting to continue series that I started in 2020 (especially finished series like this) so I don’t have to keep rereading the first books. Really all this requires is buying them. The Darkest Minds was fun and adventurous with some of the cutest friendships I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait to see how this turns politically and how it grows to Ruby vs. Clancy. This could get really intense and I’m ready for it, even if I’m stressed that I’ll end up crying.

3. Angela Davis

This is general want since I plan to get more into nonfiction and educational reading this year. I liked my read of The New Jim Crow and I feel like Angela Davis could give me a similar feel to fulfill my want for personal education. My current read is When They Call You a Terrorist and Angela writes a foreword in my edition––so I’m assuming if I like WTCYAT, I’ll also like Angela. Even if I only end up getting to her podcasts that would be fine because I’d just like to learn.

4. City of Ashes by Cassandra Clare

Just because I found the first book so entertaining and fast moving, I’m going to continue with this series. Plus the fact that I have every The Mortal Instruments book. It’s a pretty large world that I can’t just give up on so soon. Possibly just to get on the hype train, I’m going to try my hardest to dig into this series. There are a few things, I’m unsure if they will arise in this book or not, that I know will make me feel... weird––thanks to spoilers from 7 years ago when I thought I’d never read this series––but I’m ready.

5. The Scorpio Races by Maggie Stiefvater

I recently bought this at Half Price Books and I had no idea what I wanted to get until I saw this. For most of early high school, Maggie was my favorite author because I adored her Shiver series and loved the first two books in The Raven Cycle and recently enjoyed All the Crooked Saints. I hope to read all of her books someday and own them all. I had never liked magical realism so much until reading her and it’s now a theme in books that draw me in.

6. Betrayed by P.C. Cast and Kristin Cast

My current read is the first novel in this series and although I’m not sure if it’s worth it to continue the series, I think I will. My sister got me the first 4 books in a boxed set 5 or 6 years ago and I’m only touching them now. This could be a mistake because I’m much more mature of a reader than this is aimed at. I would hate to not read them though since it took me so long to read them, that’s not the books’ fault. I also think they could be good buffer reads as just a trashy, fun novel about high school vampires for when I’m busy.

7. Stand Off by Andrew Smith

This is a long awaited one! Winger, the first book in this duology, tore me apart! I keep forgetting that it’s one of the books that have made me genuinely cry over the years and it was my favorite novel of 2017 and I finished it on New Year’s Eve. I loved the style of writing and the characters were funny and lovable and the setting new to me at the time that everything was intriguing. I plan to reread Winger so that I remember everything that happens even though I know that I’ll be utterly heartbroken at the end but that is okay! I want to see how life turns out for our main character, whose name I don’t even remember!

8. Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

I bought this one from B&N a few days ago and I’m super excited because I loved the ACOTAR series by SJM. I know that everyone who is a fan of her writing really adores this series as well and I’m ready to adore it too. It helps a lot that the series is completed because then I can soar through it without stopping. Surprisingly, I think I’ve managed to avoid spoilers from this series. I’m ready to throw myself in the characters and a new fantasy world by the SJM, who has risen to the top of my favorite authors list.

9. It’s Not Summer Without You by Jenny Han

Since only one other book on here so far is YA contemporary fiction, I thought it’d be perfect to include another one. This is a sequel I don’t yet have on my shelf but one I plan to buy. I loved Jenny Han in high school after reading TATBILB, which is my favorite trilogy ever and I had fun with the first book to the Summer series. Picking up Jenny Han again would hopefully revert me back to a time when reading was purely fun and I didn’t get upset if I didn’t meet my page goal for the day. I also haven’t read much contemporary (romance) since I started reading again over the summer even though it has historically been my favorite genre.

10. The Wife Upstairs by Rachel Hawkins

This is one that I plan on getting from Book of the Month. I would have gotten it in what I believe was the December picks but I had no idea what it was about. If I had known it was a Jane Eyre retelling, I would’ve picked it up immediately! Jane Eyre is probably my favorite classic of all time after reading it in high school. It’s obviously a modern version but I’d love to see how such a classic story is updated and made new. It will also help me read more genres since I didn’t read a single mystery thriller in 2020.

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feuilly-cakes · 4 years

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Twilight - review

I'm now revealing myself to be twilight trash, but let's talk about it! In this review you'll find the good, the bad, and the ugly (in list form even!) I know this story like the back of my hand, and this is a reread, so although I've only read this particular book once before, I can't be unbiased here. I am a more critical reader now than I was at 14 though, so hopefully this review counts for something. There will be a warning before the section with the spoilers if you haven't yet given in to the curiosity.

I loved it. I gave it 4*. I also found certain parts offensive. Some parts were very funny, and others just as dramatic as you'd expect from a book published for teens in 2005. The love story was, dare I say it, good. It's an enemies to friends to lovers, with a very quick progression on those last two. Both Bella and Edward acted just like regular teens around each other, and if there wasn't a vampire aspect involved it wouldn't have been criticised too heavily on the relationship front. I pretty much sped through the book, even with life getting in the way and pausing every 5 minutes to stick annotation tabs in. We are given a good amount of information about vampires, the history of the characters, and also the kinds of people these characters are. Aside from the offensive/insensitive parts, the entirety of which I will be listing below as I picked up on them, there are only a few moments of genuine real life creepiness not related to the Port Angeles scene right up until the epilogue, which made me very uncomfortable for reasons I shall be explaining. As a random note, I noticed 9 obvious instances of foreshadowing. She must have known where she was going with this series, or else that was a strange coincidence. The rest of this review will contain spoilers Let's begin with how this differs from the movie, since pretty much everyone has seen the movie. First and foremost, there are the characters - Bella and Edward specifically. Bella in this book is a typical teenager with a strong personality. As a child she had tantrums over going to Forks, saying she 'hadn't made a secret of [her] distaste for Forks.' She has a fierce temper, but she is also kind, frowning upon Jessica Stanley's judgement of Esme for adopting kids because she can't have any biologically. She's not vain but she cares about her looks, fussing over her skin being paler once she got to Forks - 'My skin could be pretty' 'I had no color here.' Sarcasm is her thing, and she despairs that none of her new classmates seem to get her sense of humour. She's friendly though an introvert, smiling and waving at everyone who greets her after a week of school while not knowing all of their names. She loves girls nights, and finds being around other girls 'invigorating'. She's independent and won't let Edward question that: "No, she did not send me here. I sent myself." However, she notices she has a very strong crush on Edward that is almost obsessive and finds it 'pitiful' and 'pathetic'. At least she's self aware.

Bella is very funny at times, especially when referencing her clumsiness (I won't spoil this because humour should never be spoiled). Bella is very smart and resourceful, but not in the obvious way. Schoolwork is a breeze for her because she's done most of it at her old school, but she's smart in other ways. It's Bella who figures out about Edward's mind reading abilities and questions him about it, and who flirts with Jacob Black to get information about the Cullens and why they aren't allowed on the reservation. It's Bella who tells Edward that men and women should be equal or as close to equal as they can, each saving each other the same amount of times. It's also Bella who feels that Mike Newton understands her, because they both were new in Forks at one point, and both lived in sunny places and probably both experienced the chain link fences and metal detectors that Bella was shocked were not at Forks High School. (Personally that threw me for a loop too, that schools could have metal detectors.) Edward is closer to the movie characterisation, but acts more like a typical teenage boy. He's moody but charming, awkward at times but also mischievous. At one point he cuts Bella off in the school car park and then deliberately stops his car to wait for his siblings, causing a queue behind them and giving Tyler Crowley the opportunity to ask her to the dance. He does all this to anger Bella, and it was absolutely hilarious. He flip flops between cheerful and broody, and finds Bella utterly fascinating. He is constantly relearning boundaries and ways to make Bella and himself feel more comfortable. An interesting aspect of his character that was definitely unintentional and handled poorly was the way he was coded as demi-sexual. He states that he has never wanted anyone before Bella, and his adoptive mother Esme thought there was something missing in him. As this is offensive I'll be bringing it up again later. Back to some positives, he likes to sing under his breath in a very fast speed that looks like his lips are trembling, and finds the heat of Bella's hands very pleasant. I thought this was cute, and I had to tab it for future reference. A not so cute thing is how he can 'dazzle' Bella by being close to her face and breathing on her. She describes this as her mind going blank, after which we see her agree to whatever he says while she is in this state. It's a bit creepy but he doesn't take advantage of it at first after being made aware of it, he only does so towards the end, which we shall get into later. He also hears the minds of others as a background hum that he can then focus in on, which I found interesting. Now, onto actual plot things that differed, we have Bella never buying that book on Quileute legends, instead simply flirting with a 15 year old Jacob to get his information and then combining that with a google search, and coming to her conclusions that way. Next, we have the Volturi being mentioned but not by name, firstly on vampires a-z in the section: 'Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires.' and then in a scene that wasn't a part of the film at all, wherein Edward and Bella are in Carlisle's office, talking about his history, and they are brought up simply as Carlisle's artistic friends from Italy. They are named but the word Volturi is nowhere in this book. In a similar vein, several backstories are revealed in this book that we didn't really get to see until later in the series. Bella gets some meaningful interactions with Jasper, who actually sits next to her and touches her to calm her down in the hotel. It's also implied somewhere in those chapters that Alice possibly knew about Bella planning to sneak off and let her go anyway. Finally, Bella is awake after the venom gets sucked out. This is important because she tells them that the venom is gone and thanks Edward before passing out. She was awake and aware the whole time, though in incredible pain. Another difference happens but I'll be discussing that with the other creepy things. Next, I would like to discuss a few things we learn about Vampires. Did you know that despite their physical perfection, a hungry vampire looks like they are recovering from a nose job? The bruises are very prominent, and likely not pretty to look at. Did you also know that they a venomous in the true sense of the word? Alice tells Bella that the venom is to incapacitate victims with the pain, and becoming a vampire is just a side effect, not the true function of the venom. The pain is there for a reason, and that reason is to torture victims with the burning sensation so they can't get away. These vampires may sparkle, but they aren't cute. I will never get the image of snake fangs out of my mind in conjunction to twilight vampires. Am I the only one who didn't realise the inherent creepiness of that because there's no mention of it in the films? Alright, now onto the offensive/ creepy stuff. I'll be bullet pointing these with elaboration where needed. -Bella refers to herself as an albino simply because she is pale. This one just didn't sit right with me, for reasons I can't explain. Stick with me here, it gets worse. -A casual comment about suicide: 'I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose.' This one is tricky, because everyone has made jokes like that, but it made me personally uncomfortable and didn't need to be in there considering the tone of the rest of the book. -Upon Edward talking to her again after the car park incident, Bella says this: "Do you have multiple personality disorder?" This needs no elaboration. Buckle up, it gets worse. -Jacob. He tells Bella his people's legends after she flirts with him, all the while telling her he didn't believe them himself. Then he asks her: "So do you believe we're a bunch of superstitious natives or what?" As someone who is not native american, I can't give a personal perspective here, but I don't believe this is something she should have had a native character say. Stephenie Meyer is a white woman and had no place essentially calling the people she culturally appropriated a bunch of superstitious natives. It was jarring to read that line knowing that it's not her culture and she has no right to say that, only someone from the culture has the right to say that. As I said, I'm not native american and I haven't looked deeply into what exactly she stole and changed, but I know she did it, so that can of course be a pretty major offence to many people. -She compares her clumsiness to being 'almost disabled'. Gross. -The watching her while she sleeps thing. Let's talk about it. She guesses he's been spying on her when he knows where the key is after the meadow date, and he says he's been watching her sleep. It's undoubtedly creepy, but Bella isn't concerned about that. Oh no, she's concerned about what he heard while she was sleep talking. She actually seems unbothered by the stalking aspect, which is why I think these actions flew under the radar for so many people. If Bella thinks it's fine then it must be fine, right? This should have been handled differently. -The Aphobia. Edward tells Bella that Esme was 'afraid that there was something missing from [his] essential makeup'. This is really harmful, but it wasn't intentional. I have no doubt that Stephenie Meyer had no clue and perhaps still has no clue that asexuality is a thing and that she accidentally made Edward demisexual, by simple fact of him being interested in no one before Bella. Nonetheless, it needs to be warned for. -There are heavy implications of p*dophilia here, by choice of language. Regarding Bella's class, full of people her age. Edward calls them a 'class full of children' then on the next page calls Bella 'an insignificant little girl' and then a few chapters down he calls jacob a 'child' to which Bella responds that he is not much younger than she is and Edward cheerfully replies that he knows. It's beyond creepy and I wish it wasn't there, because if it had gone the opposite way of Edward making old man jokes it could have been funny and not horrifying to think about. -Lastly though not leastly, the epilogue. All throughout the book Bella has under no circumstances wanted to go to prom. She is tricked into going to prom. Alice sees the future, Edward reads minds, they knew she wouldn't want to go but bamboozled her into going anyway, and when she starts shouting and crying, Edwards tells her "Don't be difficult". This is creepy and horrifying, that they are taking away her agency and treating her like a child when she tries to refuse. Although she goes and has a goodish time, it still wasn't right to force her into that position. Thus concludes this review, and I leave you with the knowledge that if you read this you get to see the part where Charlie Swan tells Bella that Carlisle Cullen is very attractive. Good day.

#twilight #stephenie meyer #book review #book blogger #twilight trash #book rec #books and literature #vampires

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camphalfbloodkit · 4 years

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Back when I was 12 myself I started on my journey with Percy thanks toThe Lightning Thief being added to the Bluebonnet Book List that year. I got lucky and managed to grab the copy my teacher kept in her classroom and read it despite the high demand for any book on that list from other kids just because they wanted to go to an ice cream party later in the year. From the moment I opened the book and read Percy's iconic warning I felt like I'd found a home.

Here was this kid my own age at the time who'd been thrown into a situation he'd never wanted, who had to face down monsters not just mythological, but also mortal. I realated to him on an insane level. Maybe I didn't have dyslexia, (or at the very least I don't have it to a degree that's able to be diagnosed, I have my suspicions at times) and maybe at the time I didn't have an ADHD diagnosis, but still I connected to Percy on a level I'd never connected with another book character ever in my life. He knew the pain of a bad home life, of striving to do your best in a bad situation for the sake of someone you love. It wasn't the same but I knew he'd understand my pain. He might not have been real but I had a new best friend.

When I saw Sea of Monsters as soon as we walked into the bookfair the following semester I didn't even hesitate or bother to look at any other book in the whole place. I already knew that was going to be the one I took home with me, even though I knew I only got to pick one book and that it was probably going to be the only book I got that entire year. I had to have it, I needed to finally take a piece of my new home with me. I have read and reread Sea of Monsters more times than I can count, and honestly I'm due another reread but I plan to do the whole series this time. For the next four or so years that book was my main gateway home. I checked Titan's Curse and Battle of the Labyrinth out of the school library but I wouldn't hold another piece of Camp Halfblood in my hands and know it was mine until the release of The Last Olympian, which I once again obtained from the school bookfair.

I cried when I finished it. I thought that was the end of the era, I thought I would never walk on another new adventure with my best friends again. I thought I was saying goodbye to Percy, and Annabeth, and Grover, all of whom I saw pieces of myself in. I thought I was saying goodbye to Nico who I loved as my own family because I understood the full tradgedy of his and Bianca's situation, being an older sister and caretaker to younger brothers myself. I, like my friends and family I had found within those pages, thought that the Prophecy of the Seven would fall to a new generation. And though I looked forward to the chance to make new friends I grieved the ones I had already found, along with those who died within those pages.

And then Lost Hero dropped. At that time I couldn't actually read the books, I couldn't find them because now I was in High School and they didn't stock middle grade books in the school library, and I couldn't get to the public library, and I couldn't get anyone to buy it for me. To this day Heroes of Olympus still eludes me and I haven't read it in it's entirety. But I needed to know what was happening, needed to meet the people who I was sure would be my new best friends, though they'd never replace the ones I already had. So I dug up every spoiler I could get my hands on. And I met Jason, and Piper, and Leo. And I was right, they were my new best friends, hell Jason resonated even deeper to me than Percy initially had because we both were the "gifted child", so he understood things that Percy didn't. But I discovered that my old friends were still around. Percy was missing, which scared me, but I got to walk hand in hand with my friends again. It was amazing.

But that wasn't all. Thanks to Jason, Leo, and Piper I was able to connect even deeper with a new real life friend I made at a new school that year. She had started her journey late and had to go back and properly meet Percy and Annabeth and Grover, but I was mire than happy to guide her on her journey with them, even handing her my own precious copy of Last Olympian to borrow when she couldn't find it anywhere else. In return she kept me appraised of Heroes and then together we began to craft our own stories.

Stories of family, and romance, and finding each other even across different lives. Stories of people who reincarnated not to seek the Isles, but in the hopes of finding the ones they left behind again, even if they wouldn't remember them. Stories of people who never made it to the spotlight of the main story, but who lead had amazing adventures all their own anyway, the ones who kept things going when the big names weren't there. Are they necessarily "good" stories? No, not by most people's standards. They're self-indulgent and full of deus-ex-machina and handwaving of things. Sometimes the romance moves way too fast. But we love them all the same, and we still create new ones even now. They help us get through even the worst of times, and I think that matters far more than them being "good" by anyone else's standards.

I've had Percy for 14 years of my life at this point, and thanks to his guidance I've had my irl best friend for 10. Even if I can't read it yet knowing that the main story of Camp Halfblood has drawn to an end pains me more than I can say, it hurts worse even than when I thought it was over with Last Olympian. But there will always be more stories, even if I have to make them myself, and I know that no matter what Camp Halfblood will always open it's doors to me.

#pjo #hoo #personal #kit speaks #essay #I guess?#more like a rambling diary entry probably

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mhevarujta · 5 years

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Henry Winter: Death as the mother of Beauty and Terror

Many The Secret History fans are wondering about why Henry would commit suicide and while several explanations have been given, after my recent reread of the book I started contemplating more and moret whether Henry was suicidal all along.

“Henry had a bad accident when he was a little boy,” he said. “Got hit by a car or something and nearly died. He was out of school for a couple years, had tutors and stuff, but for a long time he couldn’t do much but lie in bed and read. I guess he was one of those kids who can read at college level when they’re about two years old.”

“Hit by a car?”

“I think that’s what it was. Can’t think what else it could’ve been. He doesn’t like to talk about it.” He lowered his voice. “Know the way he parts his hair, so it falls over the right eye? That’s because there’s a scar there. Almost lost the eye, can’t see out of it too good. And the stiff way he walks, sort of a limp. Not that it matters, he’s strong as an ox. I don’t know what he did, lift weights or what, but he certainly built himself back up again. A regular Teddy Roosevelt, overcoming obstacles and all. You got to admire him for it.”

The only mention of Henry’s accident comes from an unreliable source; Bunny who is reciting a story he’s been told without even being clear on the details or he could be even withholding information.

So what if this was not an accident. What if, instead of just getting hit by a car, young Henry stepped in front of the car? This is pure speculation of course but it only seems logical to me for several reasons.

“You don’t feel a great deal of emotion for other people, do you?”

I was taken aback. “What are you talking about?” I said. “Of course I do.”

“Do you?” He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think so. It doesn’t matter,” he said, after a long, tense pause. “I don’t, either.” “What are you trying to get at?” He shrugged. “Nothing,” he said. “Except that my life, for the most part, has been very stale and colorless. Dead, I mean. The world has always been an empty place to me. I was incapable of enjoying even the simplest things. I felt dead in everything I did.” He brushed the dirt from his hands. “But then it changed,” he said. “The night I killed that man.”

Henry experiences intense alienation from other human beings and even from life itself. Such feelings are hard to handle by functional adults; much more by a kid. Moreover, throughout the novel Henry is trying to not feel dead and his interest in Richard is motivated by his need to find someone who feels like HE does and who may be able to understand him. His existence was always lonely and seemed colorless and pointless.

But what about his state of mind… isn’t he too narcissistic to do such a thing to himself? Its suicide at the end of the book shows that his narcissism would not prevent him from it. In fact a suicide attempt at a young age along with Bunny’s comment about him building himself back up would give us a very interesting picture of Henry: A young boy who steps in front of a car to end his life but survives. With his body being broken, young Henry is isolated and finds sanctuary only in the classics. He builds his mind, he shields himself even more from the effect his faded emotions have on him and he eventually rebuilds his body too, but without the shame of the physical reminders of his ‘accident’ leaving him.

It’s also interesting to note how Henry being suicidal would inform his idea of beauty and terror in death.

“Death is the mother of beauty,” said Henry.

“And what is beauty?”

“Terror.”

“Well said,” said Julian. “Beauty is rarely soft or consolatory. Quite the contrary. Genuine beauty is always quite alarming.” I looked at Camilla, her face bright in the sun, and thought of that line from the Iliad I love so much, about Pallas Athene and the terrible eyes shining.

“And if beauty is terror,” said Julian, “then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?”

“To live,” said Camilla.

“To live forever,” said Bunny, chin cupped in palm.

The teakettle began to whistle.

Henry could never experience the beautiful aspects of life. And he felt dead but he wasn’t dead. And naturally all of these were heightened because he is an overthinker. I think that as a child his instinct was to step out of himself by dying.

When this did not work for him his second approach is to step out of himself in a different way that has mesmerized him through his readings and through Julian’s teaching:

“It’s a very Greek idea, and a very profound one. Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it. And what could be more terrifying and beautiful, to souls like the Greeks or our own, than to lose control completely? To throw off the chains of being for an instant, to shatter the accident of our mortal selves?”

After he failed to shatter the accident of his mortal self by dying and after years, his next approach was to try doing so through the bacchic rites that had so fascinated him in his studies. While this attempt is successful, it’s not merely the loss of self that makes Henry feel alive, but the act of killing. Murder being a sort of terror brings us back to death being ‘the mother of beauty’. However it’s not HIS death that Henry finds beautiful. It’s the death of others. This slowly makes him have less and less inhibitions about premeditated murder.

Nevertheless, killing Bunny and contemplating Charles’ murder are not accompanied by the same loss of self and freedom. Henry is planning; he’s overthinking again. He is still very much himself. By extent, without the rite, Henry is still trapped. Not just that, but he’s also distancing himself more and more from the group of people who were barely holding him together.

Henry’s existential crisis reaches its climax when Camilla, a person he loves in his own way, shows she fears him. While we, as readers, have already seen Henry being compared to Pluto in Richard’s narration, it is only then that Henry realized that HE has become a terror; he has become death and he has touched beauty in a way that he probably never will again. And he will never be understood.

At this point Henry has nothing else to live for. His decision for a second attempt is less planned this time choice taken in the heat of the moment. I think that this could be tied to the two gunshots. I can see them symbolizing Henry’s two attempts: the first being the conscious decision of a boy who could not see any meaning in life and the second being a backfire; a choice as fast as the pull of a trigger that came almost instinctively to finish what the first attempt started.

And the second attempt perfectly mirrors the first. Henry’s body is broken all over again, miraculously still fighting to build itself back up; but this time it gives in.

Finally, I think this makes Richard’s dream of Henry even more interesting. The question of whether Henry found the happiness in death is even more tragic if that’s something that he was seeking as long as he can remember and always felt the inclination to pursue it by taking his own life. There is a different gravity to it; especially since there is no more fulfillment for him in death than there was in life.

“Are you happy here?” I said at last.

He considered this for moment. “Not particularly,” he said. “But you’re not very happy where you are, either.”

St. Basil’s, in Moscow. Chartres. Salisbury and Amiens. He glanced at his watch.

“I hope you’ll excuse me,” he said, “but I’m late for an appointment.”

#the secret history #tsh #henry winter #donna tartt #tsh meta #tw: suidice #tw suicide

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omgreading · 4 years

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And I am done. Last time I read it, I gave it three stars, but I bumped it up because it is rereadable. I remembered a lot from the book, I probably did not need to reread it to continue the series. However, the bit about Simon being a vampire, I pulled from the movie. I think it shows more signs or outright says it in the movie. There are tiny hints to it though in the book. We are told many times about him biting the vampires and then Isabelle makes a comment about how fast he was when he came in and helped “kill” the Abbadon. I think that was a little clue.

I think the reason I had a problem with the book before is because I thought the whole they are siblings story-line was stupid. I felt there would be some kind of love-triangle and all that jazz moving forward and I didn’t want to read about it. I also didn’t believe they were siblings and I guess I didn’t want to go through however many books it would take to explore that. However, many people say the series is great overall and I own it, so might as well go through it. I plan on reading The Mortal Instruments and The Infernal Devices. Those two seem wrapped up in each other. If I like those two, I will move onto The Dark Artifices.

Right now, fantasy series are what is the most interesting to me and this is what I have accessible.

I hope any kind of romance plot is not the biggest part of the plot. I understand it is pretty much unavoidable in books, especially YA series, but like, I do not care about romance plots. I just want the story.

Honestly, I wish I would have just read a summary for this because I didn’t gain any great bit of information that I did not have before plot wise. I am sure the only benefit is that smaller things will be more recognizable.

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rosereview · 4 years

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Top 12 Books of 2019

I read a total of 71 books this year and so many of them were five stars. That’s why this list has twelve instead of ten and why I had to put two or three books in the same placement. The only rules for this list are that I have to have read them this year and no rereads.

12. A Lite Too Bright by Samuel Miller

To start off we have A Lite Too Bright which is a story about a young boy who goes one a hunt for answers regarding his grandfather's disappearance, who had Alzheimers. I was really excited to pick this book up because I had heard good things and Alzheimers is a topic that I have a personal relationship with. Little did I know that this book has so many more elements to it, like politics and adventure and family. It was beautifully written and I will definitely read whatever Samuel Miller comes out with next.

11. Daisy Jones & The Six by Taylor Jenkins Reid

This book was raved about when it came out, so when I saw it at Costco for cheap, I had to have it. I don’t regret that in the least, and now I’ve gotten my mom, aunt and cousins hooked on it. It’s told in the form of documentary interviews and tells the story of a rock band in the 1970s. I loved the format that it was told in and I loved the story. I don’t even have the words to describe how good it is, besides the fact that you just have to read it.

10. Made You Up by Francesca Zappia

I read Francesca Zappia’s book, Eliza and her Monsters, last year and it was my number one book of 2018. So I had to read her other book and I’m glad I did. Made You Up is about a girl with schizophrenia and her struggle with distinguishing between reality and her imagination. It’s such an important story because it’s told in a way where you really realize how hard life is for the main character and you can empathize with others like her. It was a powerful story and I highly recommend.

9. Ministry of Curiosities #6, 8, 9 by C.J. Archer

I finally finished the Ministry of Curiosities series this year and I’m so happy. This series is a total of ten books and I finished the last six books after only reading the first three last year. I was not disappointed with the series and it just keeps getting better and better with each book. My favourites from this series are From the Ashes, Veiled in Moonlight, and Vow of Deception. This series is about a paranormal Victorian England with a ministry that takes care of paranormal activity including several mysteries that you follow throughout the books. I was really impressed with the way all the mysteries tied together in the end and the character development throughout the books.

8. The Conqueror’s Saga by Kiersten White

This year I read all three books in this series and loved all of them. The series includes And I Darken, Now I Rise, and Bright We Burn. This series takes place during the Ottoman Empire and follows sister and brother, Lada and Radu, as they have to navigate politics and wanting to get home after being taken by the Ottomans. Even though these books aren’t short, they flew by. The pace was very fast and I loved the characters and the way you could see them grow up throughout the books since they start out young in book one. It was a very fun ride.

7. Charlotte Holmes Series by Brittany Cavallaro

This was another series I started and completed in 2019 starting with A Study in Charlotte, The Last of August, The Case for Jamie, and A Question of Holmes. They’re a retelling of Sherlock Holmes and John Watson and follow their descendants Charlotte Holmes and Jamie Watson. I didn’t think I liked mysteries until I read this series. Now I love them! This book has several themes I didn’t even expect, like addiction and mental illness, which gave the characters more development and obstacles. I really think that if you like mysteries, that you’ll like these books.

6. Finale by Stephanie Garber

I read Caraval and Legendary by Stephanie Garber last year and really enjoyed them. This year the last book Finale came out and I loved it. This is the best book of the series and I’m really happy with how it ended and how is tied the series together. The series is about two sisters who both play this scavenger hunt game called Caraval, which is filled with magic and wonder. But through the next books you realize that this world is more than just a game. The issues I had with the first two books weren’t in this last one, or were made less annoying and by the end I was really satisfied. I will now be reading whatever Stephanie Garber comes out with next.

5. Supernova by Marissa Meyer

Finally the end to Renegades is here and I couldn’t have been more happy, except that I still want more. I loved Renegades so much and Marissa Meyer didn’t disappoint me with this last book. This series is about superheroes and supervillains with the perspective of both sides and the supervillian goes undercover to join the superheroes and take them down. I loved the concept (superheroes!) and loved the way Marissa Meyer told both sides and showed that it wasn’t as simple as good or bad, wrong or right. It’s more complicated than that.

4. The Thirteenth Tale by Diane Setterfield

This book I got from my Aunt last Christmas and I was very surprised with how much I loved it. It's about a famous author who hires a girl to write the author’s life story. It’s full of mystery and tells from both the present and the past. I loved that about it and it has many twists and turns and moments of shock that it really keeps you on the edge of your seat. I don’t want to say much more than that because you should really go into it knowing knowing a lot .

3. Truly Devious Series by Maureen Johnson

I read both Truly Devious and The Vanishing Stair this year and I’m just waiting for the last book to come out in January. Both the first and second book were amazing and like the Charlotte Holmes series, made me love mysteries. It takes place in a special boarding school and switches between the mystery in the present and the mystery that took place there almost 100 years before. It’s very well written and keeps you wanting more. I’ll be very sad when the series ends in this next book.

2. The Folk of the Air #2, 3 by Holly Black

This year I also read both The Wicked King, and The Queen of Nothing after reading The Cruel Prince last year. Honestly the series just gets better and better and the final book is a very satisfying end. The series is about Faerie and main character, Jude, growing up there even though she’s human. She has to navigate all the politics and tricks that come with Faerie and try to survive. Holly Black is an incredible writer and paired with her world building and imagination, she brings her characters to life and keeps you needing more. I love her world of Faerie.

1. The Red Scrolls of Magic by Cassandra Clare & Wesley Chu

The best book of 2019 is of course a Cassandra Clare book. The Shadowhunter world is my favourite place to visit and her characters are my best friends. Kidding, but not really. Cassandra Clare is an amazing writer and every book she writes is a work of art and somehow better than the last one. This story follows Alec and Magnus from The Mortal Instruments on their vacation they took during City of Fallen Angels and it’s not the relaxing vacation they’re expecting. I love Magnus and Alec so much, and to see them at the start of their relationship again is so refreshing. I knew this book would be good but I wasn’t expecting everything that happened in the book and to love it as much as I do. I can’t wait for the next book!

So that’s my list of 2019 favourites. I hope some of these can become your new favourites too in the future.

Until next time!

~Rose Reviews

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nocompromise-noregrets · 4 years

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1, 4, 8, 20, 24!

YAY THANK YOU! :D

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it? Well. Obviously Two of a Kind is the ultimate ongoing project, dammit all to hell (two very damaged ex-street-kid musicians slowly working out that they are everything in the world to each other; they are the archetypal idiots in love), but it’s not co-operating at the moment. What is cooperating, however, rather faster than I can write it down, is My Heart Is An Empty Vessel, which is a Bard the Welshman/Thranduil the Drama King epic currently standing at *checks* just over 60k, with a multitude of side fics and an ultimate-happy-ending epilogue which is threatening to turn into a sequel that plays extremely fast and loose with canon. I’d expected it to be about 10k of sexual tension and maybe a bit of smut, but the characters had other ideas, and now it’s 60k of feelings, yearning, pining, a bit of smut, political ramifications, and Bard’s kids being alternately scheming (Sigrid the oldest girl) and adorable (Tilda the youngest girl). I am bewildered to fuck but enjoying every second of it. :D

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like) Ooooh, this is going to take some thought. I am really happy with how Empty Vessel is turning out (I might dare to think that it’s my best work so far, although that might have a lot to do with how much I’m loving writing it), and there are a lot of bits that I might choose, but here is a bit that makes me squee every time I reread it:

Bard’s letters provided small bright spots in the darkness of winter. He was not eloquent, and he clearly struggled to think of what to say; most of the letters were variations on a theme of ‘it is cold and wet and everyone is miserable and I am most miserable of all’, but Thranduil could read between the lines and understand what Bard was trying to say, and that made his heart sing. Bard was miserable because he was uncomfortable with the role that had been thrust upon him, but also because he was missing Thranduil quite dreadfully; he looked forward to spring not only for the better weather but because that was when they would see each other again. His negotiations with the Dwarves for builders and stone to make the buildings safe had gone well, because Sigrid and Tauriel had known just what to say, and that was because they had been studying the book Thranduil had sent them. Bain was becoming a competent archer and swordsman thanks to his textbook, and Tilda was a ray of sunshine who could not stop retelling the tales from the book of Elflings’ stories Thranduil had sent. I cannot thank you enough for the books, Bard wrote more than once, it was a kindness we did not look for, and we all appreciate it very much. Which meant, Thranduil thought, you remembered my children and I take the gesture as it was intended and it warms my heart even now.

And just for fun, because I had a blast writing it, here is an extract from Bard and Sigrid explaining to Thranduil how their negotiations with King Dáin of the Dwarves have been going (I channelled Billy Connolly as best as I could), and how Dáin reacted to a particular suggestion with regard to diplomatic relations with the Elves:

“And what did he say?” inquired Thranduil, one eyebrow raised.

“I can only tell you if you cover Tilda’s ears,” said Bard, and Thranduil did so with a soft chuckle, though Tilda pouted in disappointment. When the little girl’s ears were safely covered, Bard drew in a breath. “He said that if I thought he was [spoiler spoiler spoiler] to the perfidious pointy-eared pretty princeling, I could bugger right back off to the lake and then I could keep buggering off until I got to the Woodland Realm and then…well, I’ll stop there, given the company, but he continued in that vein for a little while. He did manage to cast aspersions on you, me, and what he perceived our alliance to be, let’s just put it that way.”

Sigrid was chortling hysterically behind the hand she had clapped to her mouth, and Bain was snickering, wide-eyed at the amount of profanity he was apparently considered old enough to hear. Thranduil let out a bark of laughter, and Bard was relieved that he did not appear to be offended.

“He does not seem to have a great many insults for me, does he?” said Thranduil after a moment, uncovering Tilda’s ears. “Except one or two about my appearance, and the rest is simply where I live, and an inaccuracy about my rank.”

[they have already reported several of Dáin’s utterances on the subject, and none of them have been complimentary XD ]

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read? To a certain extent. I am much happier reading really angsty stuff and really smutty stuff than I am writing it - I can’t do unhappy endings or heavy angst because I just want my characters to be happy, and I can’t do explicit smut mostly because most of the words for the necessary parts of the anatomy make me cringe. XD I can read it quite happily, but I can’t make myself write it.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?) Ooooooh. I am nowhere near clever or organised enough to intentionally include symbolism and callbacks, but I was delighted to discover last week, on rereading A Little Piece of the Sea, the series I began 15-odd years ago about Legolas and Prince Imrahil of Dol Amroth (it’s a tiny ship but I will sail it till I die), that I have unconsciously included some fairly huge parallels with that story in Empty Vessel. I mean, apart from the fact that both Legolas and his Dad manage to fall in love with a mortal (there are some fairly large similarities between how I’ve characterised Imrahil and Bard, although they are very different people). Particularly the first story in the series, in which Legolas and Imrahil meet at Éomer and Lothíriel’s wedding and become lovers, which I wrote in 2004, and had not referred back to at all before I wrote the first few chapters of Empty Vessel. :D So that was pleasing. Mostly I discover this stuff after the fact, because I’m definitely a pantser, not a planner, and the stories just come out how they want to come out, and to hell with whatever I might have envisaged for them.

24. Would you say your writing has changed over time? Not stylistically, I don’t think. I’ve just become capable of writing longform fiction, thanks to doing NaNo a few times. I’ve looked back at some of my old stuff recently and I wouldn’t have done any of it any differently if I were writing it today - but I’ve become more capable of sustaining a story, and perhaps more confident at just going with what the muse tells me, no matter how wordy or lyrical or potentially pretentious.

THANK YOU THAT WAS FUN!, <33333

#anyone else want to ask me stuff?#the questions are a little way back on my blog now because i reblog so much stuff #but i love answering these things #so if you want me to reblog the q's just ask #:D #palavapeite

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caitsbooks · 4 years

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THE QUEEN OF NOTHING (THE FOLK OF THE AIR #3) BY HOLLY BLACK – DID IT SURVIVE THE HYPE? (REVIEW)

This Review Will Contain Spoilers for The Cruel Prince and The Wicked King, but there will be NO SPOILERS for The Queen of Nothing. I’m not cruel.

Overall: 5/5 Stars Characters: 5/5 Setting: 5/5 Writing: 5/5 Plot and Themes: 5/5 Awesomeness Factor: 5/5 Review in a Nutshell: Listen, I’m trash for this series. The Queen of Nothing had a lot to live up to, but it did. It reminded me why this series is so hyped, it proved it deserves every bit of it.

“Let me be feared and never again afraid.”

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// Content Warning: Violence, Death, Assault, Child Abuse/Neglect, War Themes, Murder //

Release Date: 11/19/2019 Publisher: Little, Brown Books for Young Readers Page Count: 309 Premise:

The Wicked King left off with the worst possible cliffhanger ending, with a plot twist I never saw coming. The Queen of Nothing takes place not too long after that ending- Jude has created a life for herself in the mortal world after being exiled, doing odd jobs for other Folk and living with Vivi and Oak. When her sister Taryn returns from Elfhame with shocking news, Jude must delve back into the world of courtly politics and war to help her, even if it means facing the man who betrayed her, the High King Cardan Greenbriar.

“Two paths are before me, but only one leads to victory.”

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Read more for all of my thoughts on the conclusion to The Folk of the Air series, or, check out the full review over on my blog!!

[ Related: The Wicked King by Holly Black (ARC Review) ]

Follow Me Here: Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter || Reviews

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“We have lived in our armor for so long, you and I. And now I am not sure if either of us knows how to remove it.”

WRITING & SETTING

Holly Black’s writing style is just amazing. Her writing perfectly balancing poignancy and thought-provoking topics with fun quips and just amazingly relatable moments. Jude is of both the mortal world and the magical world- being a mortal raised in Elfhame- and you can get that feeling just through Holly Black’s writing. It feels both otherworldly and magical while being full of purely human aspects.

Meanwhile, the setting really makes this series stand out. Holly Black truly is the queen of the Fae. She has crafted a beautifully intricate world parallel to ours, with such great depth and detail, and grounded in fascinating mythology and history. While The Queen of Nothing doesn’t expand on the world and magic quite as much as previous books have, it really does place a spotlight on it.

“Magic is seldom so convenient as to conform to our preferences.”

PLOT

I won’t lie- some of this book feels a little rushed. That’s honestly a complaint I have with the series as a whole. Each book could be much longer than they are. The Queen of Nothing comes in at just barely over 300 pages, and it has a lot to wrap up. That said, it does succeed. While I did wish we could have a little more time to sit with some moments, the fast pace did make this book very bingeable and absolutely impossible to put down.

This book also has a few twists thrown in, but they definitely weren’t quite as surprising as the twists in previous books. There was maybe one that really took me by surprise, but the rest were fairly predictable if you are highly invested with this series and as obsessed as I am. That said, this book is still a great conclusion. It ties up loose ends really well, but it definitely wasn’t as… surprising as I expected. I don’t know how else to say it without spoilers. It just didn’t end in a way I thought the series would end.

“If you’re looking for reasons why he disappointed you, by all accounts, Prince Cardan was a disappointment from the beginning.”

mood.

CHARACTERS

The characters are where The Folk of the Air series really does shine. Every aspect of this series is fantastic, don’t get me wrong, but it’s the characters that add the heart and brutality to the series. Jude is such a strong and interesting protagonist. This book puts her through a lot, and we see sides of her that were hinted at in previous books fully explored. I reread the first two books in preparation for this one and damn, her growth is astonishing. Also, Cardan. I love Cardan so much. He’s a drunk idiot sometimes, but other times, he is just plain incredible. We definitely see that incredible side of him a lot in this book. It’s truly amazing for a character to be so understood by the reader while also still being able to surprise them.

However, I don’t want to go too much into Cardan right now because, well, spoilers. Let’s talk about some of our other characters- Vivi and Heather are my loves and I would love an entire book just about them. Taryn didn’t really leave that much of an impression on me in this book beyond the first fifty pages, but she definitely made a mark in those pages. And finally, Madoc. Madoc is such a captivating character- I always think I have him pinned down but then he does something to completely change my perspective of him. This book continues to reveal sides of him I both expected yet didn’t and I absolutely loved it.

“I know how to drive a knife through my own hand. I know how to hate and be hated. And I know how to win the day, provided I am willing to sacrifice everything good in me for it.”

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[ Related: The Cruel Prince by Holly Black (ARC Review) ]

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CONCLUSION

Pros- Great characters, solid conclusion, I love this world Cons- A little rushed. I’m also just bitter that this series is over. What am I supposed to obsess over now??? Overall- 5/5 stars. This book series will forever have a hold on my heart, and The Queen of Nothing reminded me of every reason why. This book is a fantastic conclusion to a series I’ll love for the rest of my life.

“Let me have everything I ever wanted, everything I ever dreamed, and eternal misery along with it. Let me live on with an ice shard through my” heart.

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IF YOU LIKED THE QUEEN OF NOTHING, I’D RECOMMEND:

An Enchantment of Ravens by Margaret Rogerson – (Review)

Wicked Saints (Something Dark and Holy #1) by Emily A. Duncan – (Review)

The Caged Queen (Iskari #2) by Kristen Ciccarelli – (Review + Giveaway)

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Have you read The Queen of Nothing yet? What did you think?

Also, what are your thoughts on the cover? After reading, I get all the symbolism, but I’m still not really a fan of it (especially the Barnes and Noble edition- oh god please don’t make me look at it).

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Add To Your Goodreads Shelf Purchase From: Amazon, Barnes and Noble, Indiebound

Looking for more reviews & other bookish nonsense? Follow Me Here: Blog || Goodreads || Bookstagram || Twitter || Reviews

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BONUS! MORE QUOTES THAT I LOVE

“‘Mortals are fragile,’ I say. ‘Not you,’ he says in a way that sounds a little like a lament. ‘You never break.’”

“By you, I am forever undone.”

“It really is a magical word: no. You say whatever bullshit you want and I just say no.”

“I think of his riddle. How do people like us take off our armor? One piece at a time.”

“My sweet nemesis, how glad I am that you returned.”

“That boy is your weakness.”

“All power is cursed. The most terrible among us will do anything to get it, and those who’d wield power best don’t want it thrust upon them. But that doesn’t mean they can avoid their responsibilities forever.”

“There is no banquet too abundant for a starving man.”

“Imagine if, in the mortal world, a lawyer passed the bar by killing another lawyer.”

“‘I tried to kill you,’ she reminds me. ‘You’ve described pretty much every important relationship in my life.’”

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kbrown78 · 5 years

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Monthly Wrap Up: August

Not a lot to say with this month. Mostly I just wasn't in the mood for reading or writing (which is why this is late). I tried to do 2 readthons and didn't fully complete either of them. I only read 6 books and while overall they were good (only having one 2 star), they were almost all disappointing to a certain degree. I did still manage to have a good variety of books (including a non fiction), read my classic of the month, and continue with my yearly reading challenge. Also midway through the month I started impleneting a new star rating system on a scale of 10 stars that I would then translate into a scale out of 5 stars. For clarification numbers on the left is out of 10 stars and the numbers on the right is out of 5 stars: 1-2 stars=1 star, 3-4 stars=2 stars, 5-6 stars=3 stars, 6.5-7 stars= 4 stars, 8-9= 5 stars (if a book manages to get 10/10 it's obviously going to be 5 stars). Not a bad month, just wasn't what I hoped it would be.

More Than This by Patrick Ness: In the past I've read two very different books by Ness. A Monster Calls and The Knife of Never Letting Go. Also had very different opinions about the books. I've stayed away from Ness' other books because they've gotten mixed reviews, at best. The one exception seemed to be More Than This, which everyone seems to like but also tip toed around what it's about. Now having read it, it makes sense why very little is given away about this book, but I really didn't like it. The only reason I kept reading it was in the hope that I would get answers by the end of the story, which I didn't. I will say that the first quarter of this book, when Seth is waking up and just experiencing the environment around him, was actually good. Lyrical and introspective, the pacing was just right and really pulled me into the story despite little action or dialogue. It was definitely my favorite part of the book. After the mysterious Driver shows up, however, the entire novel goes downhill. Instead of being a slow, tender story that would focus on people, and life, and mortality, it just degrades into this weird action packed dystopian. Characters were just bland, absolutely devoid of personality and minimal back story to establish how tragic they are. As for Seth himself, I liked that he was gay and in the big scheme of things it wasn't a big deal, but I don't get why their had to be such extreme hatred for him being gay when that was only a very small part of the story. What's most frustrating about this book is that nothing makes sense and it provides no answers. Even the ending makes no sense! I can't go into any details because of spoilers but this is definitely one of the worst post apocalyptic/ dystopian stories I have ever read, and there are a ton of generic ones out there. This novel was just a cheap Matrix rip off with sloppy execution. Based off my opinion of this book, and what I've heard of other works by Ness, I don't think I'll be reading any more material that produces. More Than This received 2 out 5 stars (3/10) and was my pick for the Treasure Hunting Readathon: Door.

The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett: I was initially going to read this one next month, as my classic for September, but I picked it up for this month as part of a reading challenge (which I did not complete). I know it's classic that a lot of people read as a child, but I wasn't one of those people, and I was curious how I would feel about it as an adult. There were definitely some problematic aspects of this book that are honestly staples of Victorian literature, child abuse (neglect) and racism. That being said, I rather enjoyed this book. It's a simple story, a sour girl discovering a secret garden, with a lot of depth due to the themes of love, friendship, and growth, making it both easy to read but something that lingers with me. It's a pretty book, with both the writing and the setting, that works as a timeless classic. The Secret Garden received 4 out 5 stars (7/10).

The Book Thief by Markus Zusak: When I read this book in junior high, I liked it but I honestly didn't get the hype. Now rereading, I realize that I missed so much as kid and this is the type of book I would recommend everyone read. Taking place during WWII, this book follows a young girl named Liesel as she grows up in a small town in Germany with her foster family. This is a book that nails everything that a historical fiction should be. The war serves as a backdrop while the spotlight is put on the struggles of daily life and the effects of the war. Characters are all well written, to the point where they come off as life like. Each one stands out as an individual with their own story to tell: from the book thief, to accordion player, to the Jesse Owen's fan, to the Jewish fist fighter, even Death himself. Even the plot, which is simple war time slice of life, really pulls me in with it's humanity and stellar characters. It's honestly hard to restrain myself in this quick wrap up because this book evokes so many thoughts and emotions in me. The best thing about this book is that it shows the humanity, it shows the light even in dark times. There's very little fault to this book, if any, and is the kind of book the comes along every once in while that you know will withstand the test of time and evolve into a modern classic. Needless to say The Book Thief received 5 out 5 stars (9/10).

The Social Sex: A History of Female Friendship by Marilyn Yalom and Theresa Donovan Brown: While the topic of this piece of nonfiction did appeal to me, since I'll read just about any history book that focuses on women, but I think because it was a topic I had such high hopes for, I was ultimately disappointed by it. There were only a few chapters that I thought were actually informative, which is actually the problem I have with most shorter history books. When it's a history book there's generally a lot of ground to cover, that can't be properly condensed into a book under 400 pages. The result is usually a text that glosses over the more intimate and intricate details, which is what I'm really looking for. I really wanted to get a sense of the real world history of friendships among women because it's something I feel like doesn't get the spotlight it deserves and even in fiction I'm always looking for good examples of friendship between female characters. The first few chapters focused on the philosophy of friendship, while emphasizing how male dominated it was at the expense of women. That theme remained to almost the halfway point, which I really didn't want because that lesson has been driven in my head and I don't want to see it everywhere I go. Those chapters really only focused on a few notable female friendships at various periods of history, and only in 3 countries (sort of 4) in the entire world. There were a few solid chapters in the middle, and the book did end better than it started, but the last few chapters kept repeating the same thing. I felt stiffed because most the book just wasn't informative or memorable. An interesting subject that just fell short in it's delivery (and possibly research). The Social Sex received 3 out 5 stars (6/10) and was my pick for the PopSugar prompt “book by 2 female authors” (which was really hard to find).

The Girl of Fire and Thorns by Rae Carson: Every century, someone is chosen to be the bearer of the Godstone. Princess Elisa is the current bearer, and while she is prophecised to perform a great act of service, the path to that destiny is filled with danger. When she is married off to a king from a neighboring kingdom she must finally face what it means to be the bearer and begin her long journey with an uncertain ending. I am excited to talk about this one but I'm finding it hard to. When I first read it back in high school, it instantly became one of my favorite series and remained one of my favorite series all these years. Because of how much I loved it, I put this reread off for awhile because I was super nervous that it wouldn't live up to my previous experience. It didn't, but to be fair it would be almost impossible since my reading tastes have changed, I have a better understanding of what I think makes a good book, and I've been hyping up this book for years. What made this first book so beloved to me (an intelligent female protagonist who experiences amazing growth and the role of religion) were still all there with the depth that I remember them having. There even some surprising elements: like I still thought the romance was well handled and I loved the world. Everything about it from the religion to the geography to the language and even the fact that all the characters have darker skin (seriously if you're looking for more diverse YA I would totally recommend this one), clearly has influence from a certain culture in our world but is still its own thing. There were however, a few things that did disappoint me, one of them being a big deal (at least for me personally). The pacing of the narrative itself was fine, especially since there was a lot of journeying in this book, but it almost felt like the narrative was moving too fast and I just wish there were at least a few moments where the plot settles and we get more intimate character moments. The major issue I had with this book the lack of girl power, something I thought this series had but upon reread I was confronted with the fact that it really doesn't. Again I would like to emphasize that Elisa is a fantastic character, not only because she proves her intelligence and puts it to good use but she's someone who grows past her insecurities and becomes a better individual for it, but she's the only female character that gets this treatment. Most of the other females, like her sister Alodia, her nurse Ximena, and her new handmaid Mara, get little screen time and are hardly relevant to the story, while the only female side character, Cosme, is a total bitch to Elisa for basically the entire novel. It was the exact opposite of what I wanted in terms of girl power, and I was really disappointed by that, but that's my only major complaint. This book has its strong points that elevate it beyond the typical YA fantasy but it isn't all that I thought it would be. The Girl of Fire and Thorns received 5 out 5 stars (8/10) and was my pick for the PopSugar prompt “reread of a past favorite.”

The Crown of Embers by Rae Carson: Immediately after I finished The Girl of Fire and Thorns I started reading this one, since I want to marathon read all the books in the Fire and Thorns series, like I did last time. Where the first book focuses on Elisa's personal growth (the whole series does but its most prominent in the first book), introducing the world, and the battle of good vs evil (Joyans vs Invierne), the second book focuses more on Elisa being a ruler while still having a looming destiny and the political machinations of the world, and starts to blur the line between good and evil. Based on that summary it sounds more like the kind of book that I would love, but I struggled more with this book than I did the previous. I think it's due to the fact that this book tried to tackle more mature subject matter, but kept the narrative pacing the same as its predecessor, and also didn't really remedy the issues I had in the previous book, which were only more prominent. I didn't like the political intrigue because almost everything about it was just kind of dumped in the book with no prior development, which it really needed in order to create a believable scenario. I discussed in The Girl of Fire and Thorns wrap up that I was pretty disappointed by the lack of girl power which only got worse in this book. Mara as a character frustrated me because she only existed to talk about boys with Elisa, but there's also a lack of females being major characters or even important figures in politics. Even Elisa being a ruler is undermined by all the males in her court (except Hector), which is something I've seen done with YA fantasies with female monarchs, and I really don't like it because it reduces the queen down to little more than a figure head. Carson clearly shows that she can write amazing characters that are also female, but I don't know why she reserves it to only 1. Speaking of Elisa though, she is the best thing about this whole series. Like I love everything about Elisa. I love that she retains her core characteristics (strong moral code, her faith and intelligence) but she continues to progress as a character, constantly evolving to reach her full potential. She's honestly what drives the narrative, her decisions as a queen, her destiny as the bearer of the Godstone, and her internal growth. As YA fantasy, especially one from the time period it was published, this is a good book, but it's frustrating seeing the obvious potential this book has to be a rather sophisticated fantasy series, but then just not having it reach that potential. The Crown of Embers received 4 out 5 stars (7/10).

Thank You Everyone

Keep Calm and Keep Reading

#monthly wrap up #girl of fire and thorns #rae carson #more than this #patrick ness #the book thief #markus zusak #the secret garden #frances hodgson burnett #the social sex

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miraculousmidnightreviews · 6 years

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The Trials of Apollo #3: The Burning Maze Book Review

By Rick Riordan

5/5 stars

Summary: After waking up as a mere mortal, Apollo must navigate Zeus’ punishment as he and his demigod companion/master Meg travel to San Francisco to rescue a third oracle from the clutches of yet another Roman emperor that is not quite dead. With the help of some familiar faces and friendly nature spirits, Apollo continues to understand the hardships of the demigods and must learn the stakes are much higher than the loss of his seat on Olympus.

Apollo’s Character Development

In the previous books of the Trials of Apollo series, Apollo’s character was more of a means to an end for me. He provided a good laugh, but he wasn’t a hero. Not in the way that I was used to at least. Going into the series, I expected a Percy Jackson type or even Percy himself. Does anyone else have that problem? In every series written by Riordan, whether Greek mythology or other, I always want Percy to jump in and save the day. I live and breathe Percy Jackson, and I would totally be okay if every book just turned into another PJO novel. But alas, that cannot be.

Back to Apollo though: In fight scenes, he normally doesn’t get in on the action until the final blow must be struck or until he remembers something helpful from his years as a god. In that way, he’s sort of a looking glass for the reader; he sees and interacts with characters I care more about. It wasn’t until this book did I finally find a connection to Apollo. It takes some work and certain demigods to bring his pompous ass back to the mortal realm but it happens. Because of this shift in him, The Burning Maze becomes more than just another journey to secure another oracle. I foresee the book as a turning point in the series, one that Riordan can never go back from.

Plot Structure

Rick Riordan has a unique way of structuring his books that has become apparent to me over the years. A classic Riordan book normally includes a beginning chapter that plants the reader right in the middle of the action (and this books does not lack that) along with a few chapters to decompress, all the while learning new information that may aid the main characters in their journeys, a sprinkle of character development, and maybe a hint of a good ole plot twist. The pattern continues like this: a few chapters where action-packed battle scenes filled with heroism entice the reader, and then, as the fighting winds down, a few chapters follow as the characters gather to strategize, impart some wisdom and whatnot as the sequence replays once again.

As I’ve grown older, I’ve found it harder to remain focused while reading Riordan’s novels, which is a given considering they’re aimed at a middle grade audience. However, The Burning Maze was a delightful surprise in regards to my attention span. I couldn’t seem to put it down despite how hard I tried. Yes, it may be cliché to say that, but there is some truth in clichés. Riordan’s new novel followed, well, a plot that wasn’t predictable at all in terms of structure. The storyline felt more nuanced as not one but two major conflicts drove the characters forward. The chapters didn’t lead up to an epic Riordan-esque final battle. Without spoiling, the plot for me hastened towards two pivotal moments, each a hundred pages apart. One was completely expected and one was not.

The Side Characters! (minor spoilers in this section)

First of all, I never really cared about Meg, but this book really changed my perception of both her and Apollo. They make a strange duo, and yet it somehow works. As Meg and Apollo search for the third oracle, they find a group of nature spirits that need their help and are somehow connected to their quest. The interactions between Meg and these nature spirits as well as revelations about her past turn a once prickly character into someone more tolerable, even enjoyable. The care that both Meg and Apollo have towards each other along with their funny banter really makes their relationship more relatable.

As soon as I read the end of the preceding book, I couldn’t wait to see what our good friend Grover had been up to since the original PJO series. His role as a guide brought back some major feels, especially as he helped the mains navigate the Labyrinth. I enjoyed reading about this character again, and I’m glad he wasn’t anything more than their guide. Riordan perfectly balanced his role and appearances in the book.

Piper has grown so much as a character, and it’s really noticeable in this book. What’s interesting about The Trials of Apollo is that the series shows us characters we know and love through the perspective of a fresh face. Seeing Piper take on more responsibility and aid Apollo on a quest instead of being the demigod on the quest was extremely different but quite enjoyable. It was such a bittersweet moment for me to read about her again. For those who might have found her annoying in the HoO series, I think you may like her better as a side character. Apollo somewhat idolizes everyone because they are more capable than him and that makes them more admirable.

WOW, Piper and Jason?! Two mains from previous books in more than just a few scenes? I am truly living life here. Thanks Uncle Rick. I’ll be honest, I never liked Jason Grace. At one point, I truly despised him. He annoyed me. But now that he’s not constantly pitted against my fav Percy, I have developed a newfound respect and fondness for his character. Once again, it’s truly amazing to see these characters from my childhood grow up. They’re figuring out their lives and going to school. It made my eyes water a little at the bittersweetness of it all.

I don’t want to spoil too much but Coach, Mellie, and their kid are adorable. That is all.

Thanks for reading! We hoped you enjoyed our non-spoilery review! Come back later for the spoilery stuff, or keep reading at your own risk! Check out our other reviews here.

SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT

The Death of Jason Grace

Jason dies wtf

nothing else matters

JASON GRACE IS FUCKING DEAD

HOW CAN MY CHILDHOOD BE RUINED LIKE THIS?!

LIKE WHAT i am still shooketh how can this possible be?!

Okay I avoided writing this review for a few weeks because of Jason Grace. It honestly shocked me. At first, I didn’t know how to react. I cried a little. My childhood character, despite my past hatred for him, had been killed. Then I was furious. How could Rick Riordan do this to me? To the fandom? All we want is for our precious babies to be happy. THEY DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! And yet a hero never gets what he deserves.

After reflecting on it, I now understand the necessity of Jason’s death. Before this book, I didn’t really take this series seriously, and gurl, was that a big mistake. After reading The Hidden Oracle, I considered Apollo’s adventures as a joyride down memory lane. Oh look, over there, is that Percy in Camp Half-Blood? Leo and Calypso riding Festus? Piper and Jason living in San Fran? I loved it. The nostalgia was overwhelming and I couldn’t read them fast enough. But that soon ended with the murder of both Jason Grace and my soul. Now, the stakes are raised and I’ve learned from my mistakes. Riordan knows how to draw in the readers. I should have seen this coming, and yet, like that unforgettable drop into Tartarus, these characters and I will never be the same.

Another thing about Jason’s death: it really hurt. I just needed to reiterate that I felt physical pain in my chest while reading that scene, almost like I was the one being impaled instead of Jason. And to make it worse, Caligula didn’t just impale Jason and then leave. Oh no, Rick just had to make Caligula stab him again for good measure. Rub in the finality of his death with each jab of his golden spear. Jason was the perfect hero to die and that made everything a hundred times worse. He followed the rules. He was truly good. Which made it all the more heartbreaking when his adherence to the rules wasn’t enough to save his life.

ANOTHER thing: the fuck you mean Piper and Jason broke up? Yeah, not everyone can be Percabeth but really? I found myself shipping them more while they were separated than when they were actually dating. Damn, this book was pretty good. And Piper never had a final goodbye? AND LEO?! HE LITERALLY FLEW TO MEET THEM ONLY TO FIND JASON DEAD? I had to reread some of HoO because of this terrible nostalgia, and it just made me think: was that the last time they were all together? During the battle against Gaea? And now that will be the very last time, because Jason Grace is dead. And like I said before, there’s just no going back.

Thanks for reading! We hoped you enjoyed both our non-spoilery and spoilery reviews! Check out our other reviews here!

—Alexa

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theastrophilearchitect · 3 years

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Recent reads #1.

In February, I formatted my wrap-up actually as a wrap-up, but I didn't really enjoy making myself write about every movie and every show and every audiobook, so I've decided to cut the movies and tv shows unless I specifically want to review one, and just do recent reads every ten books I want to talk about, ignoring rereads I have literally nothing to talk about, and not filling two of my weekly post slots per month first with a tbr, then with a wrap-up. I have other things to talk about.

So, here's ten books I read recently.

1. Skyward by Brandon Sanderson

Hoo. So I finally read this, and, ultimately, I did enjoy it, but it was about two hundred pages too long. I'm sure if the first three/four hundred were condensed, the characters wouldn't feel so developed, but I think it would be worth it to increase the pace. If the pace of this book were on a graph, it would be flat until the last fifty pages, at which point it would increase exponentially.

Anyway, to this book is set in a (technically dystopian) sci-fi future, in which humanity is living on a planet called Detritus, where the crew of a ship called the Defiant crashed during a battle with the alien race of the Krell. This was several generations ago, and for several decades, the original crew split into groups, because when in groups of over a hundred, the Krell could sense, attack and kill them. Fast forward several decades, after a huge battle, humanity now lives together again, partially on the surface. Skyward follows Spensa Nightshade, daughter of a coward from the Battle of Alta, when humanity came back to the surface. Spensa wants to be a pilot, to battle the Krell, defend humanity, and eventually escape past the debris field surrounding Detritus. Then she finds a ship. A ship, broken and run-down, but more advanced than anything humanity has, and fixable. And it talks.

I'm going to keep this one brief because I have a lot to say about this book, and am planning to make a full review, but for now: I was so bored throughout the first three hundred pages. I didn't particularly care about the characters--of whom I felt there were too many--and found Spensa irritating, which bothered me particularly because this book is written in first person. Then, events, action, character arcs, and I left this book absolutely desperate for the next. I think my main issue with this was just the amount of set-up required for the clearly epic saga Sanderson is planning

On the plus side, its sequel Starsight came out in November, so, if all goes to plan, that should be around the third or fourth book on this list.

Rating: um. Last hundred or so pages I feel deserve full five stars, but I think the first few hundred drag this down to about 3.73 stars, specifically.

2. Ghosts of the Shadow Market by Cassandra Clare, Sarah Rees Brennan, Maureen Johnson, Kelly Link, and Robin Wasserman

Honestly, I wasn’t going to read this Shadowhunters novella bind-up. I haven’t read any of the other bind-ups. I only actually decided to read it because I was running out of audiobooks I wanted to listen to, and this was the only Shadowhunters bind-up on Audible. But I’m so glad I did.

So this novella bind-up is set in the world of the Shadowhunters and basically follows Jem Carstairs from the end of the Infernal Devices, up to its epilogue and then beyond. It was released after the Mortal Instruments, the Infernal Devices and the Dark Artifices, but before the Last Hours, the Eldest Curses and the Wicked Powers (obviously, because the Wicked Powers doesn’t even have a title for book one yet). The earlier novellas set up the Last Hours, the later ones the Wicked Powers, and probably the Eldest Curses, too, but I don’t really remember.

I didn’t enjoy the Mortal Instruments, and after reading City of Bones, I listened to the rest as audiobooks so I could read the other series, which I did love (even if I felt the Dark Artifices was unnecessarily long). Chain of Gold, the first book in the Last Hours has been out for just over a year now, and has definitely been the most hyped Shadowhunters book in the recent years, so I can’t wait to get to it, and am so glad I read this and got to know a little about the characters, though I don’t think you need to have read this to read Chain of Gold.

Rating: 4.3 stars. (Yes, apparently I’m doing decimals other than .5 now).

3. The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes by Suzanne Collins

I finished this audiobook on March 19th, which says something about how my reading’s going this month. Actually, this is the fourth book I read in March 2021, because I also listened to the Mockingjay audiobook this month in my preparation to read this, but I didn’t think it was necessary to include it in this list because I’ve read it so many times before. Four books in twenty days isn’t bad--it’s more than most people read, but still. Especially when three of the four are audiobooks.

So, this book follows Coriolanus Snow, Panem’s president in the original series, as he acts as a mentor in the 10th Hunger Games. These Games are very different to the 74th we see in The Hunger Games, and every character in this book (minus the one character under the age of ten) was alive during the war. Since there have obviously only been nine Games before now, the tributes obviously couldn’t have victors from their districts as mentors the way Katniss and Peeta do, and this is the first year they have any form of mentoring. There’s no training, watching isn’t mandatory, this is the first Games in which they have sponsorships etc. Coriolanus is assigned the female tribute from district 12, and finds himself questioning his morality.

I really wasn’t sure what the point of this book was. It showed more inequality within the Capitol than what the trilogy exposed us to, but it didn’t seem to contain the same message as the Hunger Games, partly because Coriolanus essentially had a negative character arc, so as to become the tyrant, and partly because we knew how it would end. (Spoiler: Coriolanus falls in love with his tribute, but we knew it couldn’t work out because he couldn’t and wouldn’t marry someone from the districts, but he had a wife and daughter in the trilogy.) I don’t understand why Collins is trying to get us to sympathise with this villain--I love sympathetic villains, and anti-heroes, morally grey characters etc., but Snow just isn’t that in the trilogy, so it has little impact.

Granted, I did find the insight to his mind interesting, and the book was very entertaining--and had an excellent narrator--but I just didn’t see the point. I think this had the potential to garner five stars from me, but it just adds so little to the original story, I can’t do it.

(Leena Norms on YouTube made an excellent spoiler review on this book that goes much more in-depth about symbolism, themes etc. You can find it here)

Rating: 4 stars.

4. Eliza and Her Monsters by Francesca Zappia

I read this in three days. I’m not a huge contemporary person, but hell yes. This book? Mwah.

We follow Eliza Mirk, your typical teenage outsider. She hates high school, and is just waiting for graduation. Online, however, she’s LadyConstellation, the anonymous creator of the hugely popular web comic Monstrous Sea. Then she meets Wallace Warland, a Monstrous Sea fan who Eliza soon discovers is actually RainMaker, the most popular Monstrous Sea fanfiction writer. We have romance, we have geeky stuff, we have relatable hatred of school.

I listened to the audiobook (a running theme of audiobooks here, because I was currently very slowly reading House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas, which is 800 pages. If your book’s going to be more than 600 pages, make it two books. Please.), which was a little disappointing because I later found out the book has Monstrous Sea comic strips in it, which are in the audiobook, you just don’t get the visuals. Regardless, the narrators were excellent, and I loved this as my intro to the contemporary genre.

Rating: 4 stars.

5. Sea Witch by Sarah Henning

This was the last book on my audiobook list before I gained a ton more, and though it wasn’t mind-blowing, it was enjoyable, and I do want to read the sequel. Or rather, listen to it.

This book takes place before the game of the Little Mermaid, and follows a young woman who will become the Sea Witch. One day, a girl drowns as her friends fail to save her. Three years later, a girl with nearly the same name arrives in her friends’ lives, though no-one but Evie recognises her, and Evie must help her get the prince to give her true love’s kiss to save her.

The plot wasn’t especially exciting and the characters weren’t especially interesting; the plot was rather predictable, but the writing was excellent and it was enjoyable nonetheless.

I’m curious as to where the sequel will go, because this book’s epilogue is set 50 years after the climax, but I assume it’ll be the retelling of the actual Little Mermaid story.

Rating: 3 stars.

6. House of Earth and Blood by Sarah J Maas

I didn’t want to love this book as much as bookstagram does. In fact, over time, my love for Maas’s Throne of Glass and A Court of Thorns and Roses has faded, especially earlier this year when I listened to the Throne of Glass audiobooks (my second read through), and was struggling by the end, because it took itself way too seriously, and it felt like it was just continuing for the sake of it (I stand that the entire eight-book series could have been four or five books at most, and that’s including the prequel). In contrast, this just didn’t drag. I was intiially overwhelmed by the 800 pages, but, God, it was worth it.

The Crescent City series is set in a modern-day fantasy, with modern technology, but where humans, angels, shifters, fae, and a thousand other kinds of supernatural creatures, live side by side. Bryce Quinlan is half-fae, a party girl, living like tomorrow doesn’t exist, until her best friend, and her best friend’s wolf pack, are murdered. Two years later, a similar string of murders starts up again, though the supposed killer remains imprisoned, and Bryce is recruited by the city government to investigate, with the help of Hunt Athalar, an enslaved fallen angel, who Bryce is incredibly thirsty for.

I made notes while reading this. I had many thoughts, throughout 800 pages.

Maas just really wants to write kind-of-fae protagonists: every one of her books (bar Catwoman: Soulstealer) has a protagonist who isn’t always entirely human, and who isn’t always entirely fae.

It felt like this was only classed as adult instead of young adult so she could use the word ‘fuck’ three times per page--her previous books being young adult didn’t stop her writing graphic smut scenes.

In the first three hundred pages, the main cast walked into the road and halted traffic so many times (being like twice)--Jesus, can we just let the poor drivers be?

This book never really explains the Gods in this world. There’s so much lore, and worldbuilding, but the Gods are never really explained.

Lehabah’s character reminded me so much of Iko from The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer, and I am so here for it.

‘...Bryce mused, toying with her toes. They were painted a deep ruby. Ridiculous, he told himself. Not the alternative. The one that had him imagining tasting each and every one of those toes before slowly working his way up those sleek, bare legs of hers.’ Right, so the Umbra Mortis has a foot fetish.

Looking back through my notes, I made this one--’I get that it’s more fun to write attractive characters, but not every no-name needs to be drop dead gorgeous’--which is hilarious to look back on because the character I was specifically referencing turned out to be a very big name, but still.

I did enjoy every second of this book, but I still think it could have been condensed. God only knows how many words were in the first draft of this book.

A lot of the words for things in this--Midgard for Earth/the mortal world; Vanir for the supernatural creatures--are from Norse mythology, and I’m so here for it.

By the time the actual truth of the mystery came out, I’d already been given so many assumptions and alternatives as to what happened, that, having finished the book, I can barely remember the actual truth. We were given at least four versions of the story.

Finally, Bryce and Hunt spend literally this entire book lusting after each other, and we hear about their fantasies about each other at least twenty times, but they literally never have actual, penetrative sex. There are explicit scenes, sure, but the most action for himself Hunt gets is alone in the shower.

Anyway, I loved this. It was 1000% better than previous books by Maas, and I want book two immediately. (Maybe not immediately; I’d like to read other books, but still.) I finished it on March 31st, and it was my 30th read of the year, actually completing my Goodreads goal for the year--it was intentionally low because I only read 23 books last year, but in the shortest quarter of this year, I already met my goal. I’m leaving the Goodreads official goal at 30, because I don’t want to push myself too far, but I have a silent goal of 100--if I keep up this pace, I can read about 122 books, but we’re going to keep quiet, because I sincerely doubt I’ll manage that.

Rating: 5 stars.

7. Starsight by Brandon Sanderson

God, this surpassed Skyward. I think part of that is because I already knew a lot of the characters, and Spensa is significantly less annoying in this one. It follows an incredibly different storyline to the first, but still has the same vibes, and was, frankly, a fantastic sequel.

I will say this series reads very young, and it’s very difficult for me to imagine the characters as adults.

Also, called the romance, and they kiss in this one, and it’s actually very anticlimactic. The two characters are in completely different places for most of this book, so there’s not much development, but my God.

This book, this world... ahhhhh. If you don’t like science fiction, you won’t like this series, but otherwise, just read it. You won’t regret it.

Rating: 4 stars.

8. Call Down the Hawk by Maggie Stiefvater

First off, I love the US cover for this, but the UK one is so much better, and you can fight me on that.

This is the first book in the Dreamer Trilogy, a sequel series to The Raven Cycle, centred on the wonderful Ronan Lynch. The existence of this book was actually why I decided to reread The Raven Cycle--I listened to the audiobooks in, I think, 2018, and didn’t pay a huge amount of attention, which was, in retrospect, a horrible idea, given how complicated the storyline is, but I wanted to read this series, so a reread was required. And, as we know, I’m so glad I did, because I absolutely fell in love.

I do wish this book had more of the other Raven Cycle characters--you’ve obviously got Ronan and his brothers, and Opal, but there was so little Blue, Gansey and Adam. Adam was actually in quite a few scenes, but he’s my least favourite of the main four; Gansey had some texts and Blue had a single phone call, except that chapter was from Declan’s perspective, so we only got Ronan’s end.

Regardless, Stiefvater, as usual, introduced some amazing new characters, more worldbuilding, and I love the way she gives the antagonists’ perspective, too. There’s about a month, as of today, before the sequel comes out, and, fair to say, I can’t wait.

Rating: 4.2 stars.

9. A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas

I hate this cover change. Utterly inferior to the original covers.

In all honesty, my love for SJM has faded over the last few months--though I do now think House of Earth and Blood may have revived it--but I did still enjoy this. So now let’s go through the notes I made as I went!

First off, though, this is the fourth book in the A Court of Thorns and Roses series, focusing on Nesta and Cassian, but I’m not saying anything else so as to avoid spoiling the first three.

The opening reads like fanfiction. The introductions, the inciting incident--I’ve never been a huge fanfic reader, but this reads like fanfic setup.

SJM’s apparently going on a Norse mythology surge, what with Vanir in Crescent City and Valkyries here, but I’m really, really here for it

Elain Archeron feels irrelevant. She has imapct on Feyre and Nesta, sure, but she has no agency of her own. People ship her with Azriel, solely because she’s the unmated Archeron sister; he’s the unmated bat boy, but I’m not sure how I feel about that.

I sincerely hope we get more context as to Amren’s origins. There was a little in this, but not enough to satisfy me.

SJM has an obsession with masculinity. Little to a fault, honestly--every one of her male characters in described in some way, shape or form as the epitome of masculinity and ‘male arrogance’, and it irritates me to no end. Honestly, her books all feel like vessels for a sub/dom kink. Just saying.

‘As if she’d been freed from a cage she hasn’t realised she’d been in.’ I didn’t make note of it, but she this was the second time Sarah tried to test whether or not we’d notice this blatant manipulation of the ‘breath they didn’t realise they were holding’ cliche.

Stop capitalising the word ‘Made.’ It’s really not that difficult, and it’s ugly.

And as for the 70% of this book that is purely smut: hate that Nesta’s scent was disguised because Cassian’s ‘essence’ was all over her. What does that mean and why does even her scent submit to him??

Literally all of her female characters fall into the minority of women capable of orgasm from purely penetrative sex: it’s unrealistic, and I’m not entirely convinced SJM understands how the female body works. Also, in both this and Crescent City, she kept saying ‘her breasts pebbled’, and I still have no idea what that means.

I did, however, really enjoy seeing the Winter Solstice celebrations again.

I enjoy the smutty scenes as much as the next reader, but the latter fifth of this book, when they finally stopped shagging and got on with the plot, were so much better than the earlier ones.

Regardless, I did really enjoy this book, and come out with a hugely positive opinion, mostly because I enjoyed the last hundred pages so much.

Rating: 4.1 stars.

10. The Sky Blues by Robbie Couch

I cannot get Robbie Couch’s name right. I keep thinking it’s Crouch, and I don’t know why. Anyway.

This was the Booksplosion book of the month for April, and is very much not my typical thing. I am, however, trying to branch out my reading from purely fantasy and sci-fi, so here we are.

This book follows Sky Baker, an openly gay high school senior in Michigan, who is planning a promposal for his crush. Who may or may not be straight. Then, his promposal plans are exposed to the school in a homophobic, racist email-blast. That’s basically it, which doesn’t seem to me like a lot, but then most books I read aren’t 300-page standalones.

The narrative is a little cliche. We get an appearance-by-mirror on page four, which didn’t exactly give me much faith. There were, of course, also the times Couch pretended he wasn’t using the let-out-a-breath-they-didn’t-realise-they-were-holding cliche: ‘took a burden off my shoulders I hadn’t even realised was weighing me down.;’ ‘a million pounds I hadn’t even realised had been weighing me down for days.’ A nice metaphor, but cliche nonetheless.

It contains so many pop culture references, which are really entertaining in 2021, but will probably really date this in a few years.

Also, minor spoiler: we didn’t even get to see the actual prom. There was the whole build-up to it, the month before, the weeks before, the day before, and we never even got satisfaction.

Regardless, this was an easy, wholesome read, and I think it’ll be a good part of my entry to the world of contemporary.

Rating: 4.1 stars.

And those are my recent reads.

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aredhel85 · 4 years

Text

Blood and Tears

If you want to read this on Archive of our own, please follow this link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23368564

I apologise for the long foreword. Feel free to skip it if you’re not interested, it just says why I wrote this story in the first place. Just heed the spoiler warning for “Blood and Gold” and “The Vampire Armand”. If you haven’t read those books yet and still want to read the story, the foreword might be helpful for understanding what’s going on.

I’m currently rereading the Vampire Chronicles which I loved so much for years as a teen and in my early twenties! And guess what? I still love these books. However, knowing what is to come in “Blood and Gold”, which made me so mad that I fell out of love with the series for over ten years, I decided to write a fix-it before I even get there.

To understand why I badly need a fix-it, I’ll have to rant a little. I didn’t read any further than “Blood and Gold” over ten years ago when I first read the Chronicles and want to reread all books before starting the newer ones, so if Anne herself tackled the topic in any way, I wouldn’t know. Somehow I don’t believe it.

My problem with “Blood and Gold” was that it ruined Marius for me, at least partly.

The way he acted all vengeful, didn’t accept Maharet’s decision to let Santino live … it just seemed so out of character for him, and he didn’t even have the guts to do it himself, he let Thorne do it, obviously with his approval, though. Armand just stood by as Thorne killed Santino, looking “confused” or “puzzled” or something like that, which is not just a non-existing reaction to Santino’s death (remember, Santino was an important figure in his life, not really in a positive way, but you expect a little more than confusion in this situation, especially coming from someone who’s about 500 years old), it was also a non-existing reaction to Marius’s story, and sorry Anne, lazy writing. Anyway, that didn’t bother me the most. It bothered me a lot, but there was worse long before that.

Just an example: When Marius told his story, he found out that Armand was alive and had joined the coven. He basically blamed him for it (yeah, how dare he trying to survive) and claimed due to him being his maker, Armand would be capable of freeing himself. Right. For what reason, though? Armand was still very young and Marius had been his whole world and he thought him dead. He saw him burn, which must have been so traumatic. You need a motivation to fight. Why would he fight to leave the coven if there was nothing for him out there? That in combination with Marius telling Lestat that making Armand was his greatest crime against their kind because of his youth in “The Vampire Lestat” really pissed me off. And there was no reaction at all to Armand’s book “The Vampire Armand”. Wouldn’t Marius have read it? In “Blood and Gold” Marius acts like Armand didn’t care about him or at least doesn’t anymore, but Armand dedicated about (or more than?) half of his own book covering 500 years to his few years with Marius. And don’t even get me started about the fact that he still thinks he knows what’s best for him, although he deserted him, let him down, forced him to be on his own in a terrible situation after claiming everlasting love to him. He doesn’t respect Armand’s wish for Sybil and Benji to remain mortal, he just makes them vampires, thinking he knows what’s best for Armand, although at this point he had proven many times that he didn’t give a f*** about his well-being. In “The Vampire Lestat” he even said he didn’t think Armand would make it after the coven was destroyed. Still no intention of at least revealing himself to him. You know what you can do with your everlasting love if this is how you show it?

So, rant over, I’m sorry, not about the content, but a little about the language ;) I guess it says something about how much I loved this series and the pairing of Marius and Armand in particular when this part still makes me so angry, and it’s actually rare for me to remember so many details of books I last read a decade ago, so I’m not hating on the series, honestly. Everyone should read it, it’s great. But I still think Armand was treated unfairly and Marius’s character was at least partly ruined.

So, what I did was writing an epilogue to “Blood and Gold”. Please keep in mind that English is not my first language, I apologise for any mistakes!

The story is written from Armand’s POV.

I hope you like it!

------------

Blood and Tears

------------

Everyone else was finally gone. Everyone but me.

Marius didn’t know about that yet. There were some advantages about maker and fledgling not being able to feel each other or read each other’s thoughts after all.

I stood on the balcony, looking inside, seeing him sitting on the sofa, a contemplative look on his face. He was beautiful in the dim artificial light from the ceiling lamp. As beautiful as he had been in Venice. Back then, looking at him had made me happy, now it just broke my heart.

Part of me wanted to go in, talk to him, tell him how he had hurt me, over and over again, and part of me wanted to run and never see him again, part of me wanted to go back in time and feel his arms around me. No … to my own surprise, that last part was silent for the first time in five centuries. Maybe it was dead, finally gone for good.

Still, I remained perfectly silent, just looking at him, trying to come to terms with what had happened tonight, what I had heard. Why Maharet had called out to me to bear witness, I did not know. It had been so hard to remain stoic while secretly listening to Marius telling his story Thorne together with the others, not revealing my pain to them, my maker’s words cutting into my soul like a thousand knives.

Watching Santino die in such a horrible way then, was also not something that gave me pleasure. We hadn’t been friends, but we had been at peace. I had always known that Santino had only done what had been expected of him as the coven leader, as I had done many times myself. It had taken me a while not to hate him, but hatred had eventually ceased. It had greatly disturbed me to see him go like this and I even felt slightly guilty for not speaking up for him. But it had all happened so fast. Pandora probably felt that way, too. After all, she had travelled with Santino for a while.

But that was over. It was too late to change anything. Just like it was too late to unhear what I had heard.

Marius hadn’t moved, neither had I, but now I spoke up, my voice soft, but knowing fully well that he would be able to understand every word. “Are you happy now?”

Slightly startled, Marius looked up, his blue eyes finding me immediately.

After one more moment of silence he finally addressed me, despite not answering my question. His voice, too, was quiet. “I thought you left with the others. Why don’t you come inside?” He forced a smile. It was so very different from the way he had smiled at me in Venice that I couldn’t answer immediately. It was not too late to act as if everything was fine, exchange a few polite words, and leave. But that was not why I was here, was it?

“I was hesitant to remind you of your greatest mistake, the greatest crime against our kind.” A quote from Lestat’s autobiography.

I hadn’t expected my voice to remain so calm, almost cold, my face to remain expressionless, and I had certainly not expected Marius to be the one to flinch slightly. Such a human reaction, but Marius had always acted so much like a human.

“Amadeo, I …”

“Don’t call me that,” I cut him off. “Amadeo died long ago. He died when he lay awake in his coffin until the rising sun forced him to sleep, thinking of you, grieving for you. He died with every nightmare of you burning.” My voice trembled with anger, but remained quiet, and I hated myself for feeling my eyes sting with blood tears. I forced them back. Damn you, Marius, for still making me feel like the abandoned child I used to be.

Marius was obviously taken aback. Never, not even in my own book, had I revealed how much I was hurt by him not at least revealing himself to me, letting me know he was alive. Why did it have to be Lestat to tell me that? Throwing it at me in anger, together with what my maker had said?

Slowly I entered the room now, not taking my eyes off Marius, who was staring at me. I was not afraid, still I did not believe that he would physically harm me, despite what had happened with Santino tonight. And if he had tried to harm me … well, maybe it was worth it.

But he did not move.

I sat down in an armchair, facing him. “Are you disappointed?”

“In what?”

“In me. No, I know you’re disappointed in me. I mean in the fact that I survived against your prediction. You told Lestat that you thought I would go into the fire or the sun sooner or later after the coven was destroyed. Are you disappointed I didn’t do it?”

“What? Of course not.”

My lips moved upward; the smile was grim.

“Ama … Armand, please, I know how all this must sound to you, but …”

For some reason, this made me angrier than anything he had said until then. All these hurtful things dimmed in comparison.

“Stop it!” My voice was no more than a hiss. “You know nothing! How would it sound to you, if your maker, who swore he would love you forever, called you his greatest crime?”

“That was merely because of your youth.”

“I was not that young, Marius. I look old enough to get along just fine.” My voice was rising now for the first time. Just slightly. “And I am more than 500 years old now, I don’t think you should keep using my ‘youth’ as an excuse!” I got up, I just couldn’t sit still any longer. For the lack of having anything else to do, I walked over to the window and leaned against the window still. “How would it sound to you if your maker, who claimed he loved you, who you thought dead for the longest time, only hours ago revealed to a total stranger that he knew very well that you were alive, knew that you were in the hands of satanic coven, and just decided to walk away?”

Now he was on his feet, too, crossing the distance between us, raising his right hand as if he wanted to touch me, but he decided not to.

Good.

“If you had wanted to leave, you could have. You could have saved yourself. I made you what you are, my blood is powerful, you were stronger than them.”

“Does that make you feel better about yourself? Or do you not even need such a reassurance because at that point you didn’t care anymore already?”

“Armand, I do care, and you know it.”

“Do I?” Finally I felt tears running down my cheeks. I was beyond caring. “Then tell my, why would I have left? What was waiting for me outside of the coven? I thought you were dead, you were everything and I saw you burn, and my whole world went down in flames with you. Tell me, Marius, why should I have left and where would I have gone?”

Pain in his eyes, in his voice. Maybe even regret. Still he tried to justify himself. “You could have started a new life. Lestat was alone, too, after Magnus …”

“Oh yes, Lestat.” My voice was bitter now. Of course, Lestat, to whom he had revealed himself, whom he had immediately fallen in love with. Who doesn’t? “So I was not strong enough for you, is that it? I was not as strong and bold as Lestat, was I? Maybe not. But when Lestat’s maker went into the flames he had known him for mere hours. But I loved you, Marius, with all I had in me. And then I saw you burn, I was grieving, I was alone, I didn’t care what happened to me. And at some point, I had just … I didn’t know … how to …” My voice broke off, at a loss for words, but also unable to speak through the tears now without sobbing openly. My pride didn’t allow me that.

Now he did touch my arm, but I pushed him away. He was still so much stronger than I was, but he let it happen. “Armand, I couldn’t have known, I cannot read your mind, you know that. I had been hurt myself, I was disappointed to see you there …”

Was that supposed to comfort me? His voice had an uncharacteristically helpless tone to it and there had been a time when this would have been enough for me to calm down, enough to swallow my own feelings to make him feel better. I couldn’t do that now. I couldn’t. “They would have killed me, if I hadn’t joined them! I was still in shock from everything that happened, I was weak from them starving me. I couldn’t have fought them then if I had wanted to. But them killing me would have been preferable to you, wouldn’t it? You could have grieved for the sweet little martyr, painted his portraits and I would have been out of your life for good.”

“No!” I took a step back, feeling the window still in my lower back once more. His voice had been so loud that any mortal would have covered his ears. His face crumbled ever so slightly, and something happened that shocked me. Bloody tears where escaping his eyes, too. I had never seen him cry. “I never ever wanted you to die, Amadeo.” His voice sounded so pained that I didn’t even comment on the use of my old name. Never had I seen him so helpless … not since Venice had I seen him so sincere. “In all my existence there was not a single moment in which I wanted you dead.”

“Well, you have an interesting way of showing that.” It was easy to hide behind sarcasm, and it helped me to keep at a little bit of my dignity while the tears had certainly left red marks on my cheeks. But then again, so had Marius’s.

He looked away, his voice once more very quiet. “I was afraid, you know.”

“Afraid? Of them? The coven?”

“No. If I had known that you would have come with me, I would have fought them gladly. I was afraid you had forgotten me. Afraid you would join them in fighting me. I may have just let you kill me if the alternative was hurting you. That was what I was afraid of.”

I stared at him, no longer crying, completely silent, stunned. My first instinct was to contradict him again, to laugh at him even, but his whole demeanour made me stop. He looked away, yes, but not because he was insincere, he was very sincere in fact, to my surprise I found that I still knew him well enough to see that, but out of shame. I understood that he was not just confessing this fear to me, but also to himself for the very first time.

“I would have come with you.” A whisper now, barely audible, not audible to mortal ears at all. “If I had known you were alive, if you had come, if I had seen you, I would have fought them all myself.”

Was that a sob coming from him? I thought I must have misheard. But then again, maybe not.

“I will not insult you again by asking for your forgiveness. But I am sorry. For all the pain I caused you. For not being there when I should have been. For breaking all the promises I ever made you.”

Still, he seemed utterly sincere. Was this really the truth? Was this really the reason for all of Marius’s actions? The fear of rejection should he come to me? It seemed that way. Ah, how could one so old be such a fool?

I took a moment to compose myself, dry my tears unceremoniously on the sleeve of my dark blue pullover. My voice was still rough when I spoke again. “So you told the whole world repeatedly – because this will be published too, you know – what a terrible and weak fledgling I am because you were afraid I’d reject you if you came to me? You didn’t come to me when I most needed you, because you were afraid I wouldn’t want you?”

He hadn’t bothered to wipe the tears away, but he was no longer crying either, although the pain in his eyes was something I would never forget. “It does sound ridiculous, doesn’t it?” He said it so solemnly, so seriously that it made my lips twitch for a second before I forced the neutral expression back on my face.

“So the Great Marius is not perfect after all.”

A joyless little laugh. “Believe me, I’m far from perfect. For what it’s worth, Armand, I am proud of you. You have come far after the theatre was gone, after Louis and you parted ways. You are not weak, I never thought you were.”

I sighed. This was so difficult, so different from what I had expected from this talk. All the fight had left me. I had been wrong, too, not even an hour ago, on the balcony. The longing for feeling his arms around me was not dead after all.

“It means something,” I admitted, slowly looking up at him. “It means a lot.” When he reached out again to gently touch my arm, I didn’t push him away, but I glared at him slightly. “You’re terrible, you know. I came back to be angry with you.”

“Which you have every right to.”

“Indeed.” Wonderful, now that just felt silly. I sighed again. “I came here to tell you I hated you and I never wanted to see you again. I wanted to tell you to stay out of my life.”

He looked like I had slapped him and I rolled my eyes. “Originally. You can’t even let me hate you properly, can you?”

We looked at each other, I full of defiance, which was obviously exaggerated at that point, he still guiltily and quite obviously trying to figure out whether it was alright to smile over my last remark, and then, at the same moment, we both broke into a short, unsure little laugh. Still full of tension, but it felt good.

“It is almost dawn,” he mused with a look at the window behind me, as if he couldn’t feel it without looking. “Will you stay? It is too late to safely go somewhere else. You can leave tomorrow.” He hesitated, still not looking at me. “Or you can stay. We can hunt together and then … if you want to … talk some more."

A last moment of hesitation. I understood him better now. He had made mistakes out of fear. He wasn’t perfect as I thought him to be as a child. But who was I to judge wrong behaviour on the basis of fear, of a mistake?

“Do you want me to stay? Be honest, Marius, please. If you made this offer because you feel guilty now or any kind of obligation, please be honest this time. Please.” My voice was steady and calm, maybe the slightest tremor in the last word, no more.

“No.” The answer came immediately. “I do feel guilt, that is true. But I see now that you don’t need me.” He sighed. “I want you to stay. I want to get to know the person my boy has become. Pari passu this time.”

My Latin, though not perfect, was good enough to understand what he meant: On an equal footing, without him having control over me, without him making decisions for me like the oh so painful one with Sybil and Benji. But I didn’t want to think of that now. He had obviously realised his mistakes. No need to start the accusations anew. And no time. Dawn was indeed near.

“Alright then”, I said. “Pari passu. I will not call you Master again.”

“I would not ask for that. And you haven’t today. Marius is fine. I am no longer your master and you are no longer a boy.”

I nodded. It felt good to hear it from him.

“I will stay for the day and … tomorrow night.”

I made no further commitments, but he smiled at me nonetheless and the way he smiled this time, the way he looked at me, reminded me of Venice.

-------------------

So, this was so not what I intended. I wanted Armand figuratively rip off his head and then leave him for good. They didn’t play along, they acted all on their own, I swear.

I hope you still like it.

I’m kind of interested in writing this again from Marius’s POV. What do you think?

#vampire chronicles #the vampire chronicles #vc #fanfiction #blood and tears #my fics #marius #armand #post blood and gold #fix-it #angst #angst with a hopeful ending

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booksareawayoflife · 6 years

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City of Fallen Angels by Cassandra Clare

‘Clary is back in New York and life is good: she’s training to be a Shadowhunter and is finally able to call Jace her boyfriend. But nothing comes without a price. When Jace inexplicably begins to pull away from her, Clary is forced to acknowledge that she herself has set in motion a chain of events that could lead to the loss of everything she loves. Even Jace.’

Book Review: no spoilers

I had read this book before, but I ended up DNF it at page 149. I still had my page dog-eared when I went to read it. After reading this book, I am glad that I decided to reread The Mortal Instruments series, because I appreciated this book a lot more than the first time I read it. The first time I read it, I found City of Fallen Angels boring, because there was barely any action. This time I was reading it, I was relishing how relaxed the characters were, because they deserved it after everything that has happened to them. This book is the slowest paced book in the series so far, but I liked it.

In terms of the plot, it wasn’t as good as it could have been. There was only two twists that surprised me, and everything else I had predicted. This book does focus a lot of the romantic troubles of the characters, and only probably starts to pick up about halfway through. But if you love the characters, then you don’t mind what happens as long as you are reading about people you love. I did like seeing more of Malec, and the development of Sizzy, but the Clace problems annoyed me, because Jace could have just talked to Clary. But noooo. I also liked seeing the friendships of the Shadowhunters & Co. You see Isabelle, and Alec, caring about Simon, and you see Alec be nice, and even the Love Guru to Clary, and Jace. I just love this group, and it saddens me knowing that I haven’t got long with them left.

Overall, I gave this book 8/10, or 4/5. I did like this book, but I do think that it is the weakest in the series so far. I hope that I enjoy City of Lost Souls, because I want The Mortal Instruments to be on my favourite series of all time. The ending of this book makes me want to read City of Lost Souls right now, but I’m reading it in publication order so I have to read Clockwork Prince next. I’m quite sad that I’m reading these books so fast. What am I going to do when I finish them?!

SPOILERS:

From here on out, I’ll be talking more in depth on the specifics of the books. If you haven’t read this series, or this book, I would recommend not reading any further.

Plot - I do like how the Shadow World got more developed. We learnt about how vampires turned, and more about subjugates, demons, and warlocks. I also liked the references to The Infernal Devices, and the cameo of a person from that series.

Clary - This book showed two sides of Clary, the Shadowhunter, and the lover. I did prefer the more Shadowhunter side of Clary, over the girl who would do anything for Jace. I did like seeing her more in action, and I hope that remains the same. I also like seeing Clary come to rely on Isabelle, and seeing their friendship/sisterhood. I hope we see more of them. I also loved seeing her friendship with Alec.

Jace - I did like how at the back of my book, there was the letter that Jace wrote to Clary in City of Glass. It made me ship Clace a bit more, because out of all the ships, I think I like them the least because they are the main couple. We see so much of them, and not the others. I did like the Clace, I love you scene though. I could easily tell the difference between dream Clary, and real Clary when Jace kept on getting dreams. Jace is still a funny guy, but you can tell that the events of the previous books is starting to get to him, because he is funny, he just is not as frequently funny as the other books. I hope that changes. I did like the bromance forming between him, Simon, and Jordan though. I don’t think we’ll see more of that, but I hope we do. I knew something was wrong with Jace after that dream in the City of Bones. But you would think that the City of Bones would be the safest place for Jace. You would think that there would be runes, and stuff protecting him from Lilith. I am expecting more of a conflicted Jace, which I am not looking forward too.

Simon - This book starts off with Simon waiting for Isabelle in a cafe. When I started this book, I wasn’t sure what I thought of Sizzy. But by the end of it, I did ship them. I like how we see her character develop, and the reader, as well as Izzy, realises that she likes Simon quite a bit. I didn’t like him dating both Isabelle, and Maia, and I think that both girls should have been more angry. Whilst neither Maia, nor Isabelle, had the conversation with Simon to be exclusive, I do think most girls would go crazy. I did like how Simon was more important in this book, and how he had to deal with revealing to his mom that he was a vampire. Simon is one of my favourite characters. I did wish that he told Raphael about Camille’s offer though, because then he would have probably had a more important role in this book. I do love Simon’s humour, I think Simon is the funniest character in this series now that Jace is all serious. When Simon got the letter saying, We have your girlfriend, and Maia/Isabelle/Clary were all safe, I knew it was Maureen. I do think Simon should have gone, because I know Simon will regret not going for the rest of his life.

Alec - Both Alec, and Magnus weren’t really in this book until about the half way point, which saddens me. But I did like his humour in this texts to Jace like wish you were here, except not really. This book did really make me love Alec more, even despite the Malec argument. There is some controversy over Alec being biphobic, but I kept a look out for it in this book, and I don’t think he is. I think that he was just jealous, and insecure over his relationship with Magnus, and his mortality. I did love how he pushed Clary through the elevator doors, so she’d have to talk to Jace, and all the Malec moments. Even the arguments.

Isabelle - I really loved Isabelle in this book. I liked how she took a more prominent role, and I am glad. I am so happy that I can now say that I like Isabelle, over I don’t mind her. And I do ship Sizzy now! I also like how far Isabelle has come about friends that are girls, because she was so protective of Maia over Simon/Jordan, even though she was the other girl. Isabelle has grown a lot in my eyes.

Magnus - I wanted more of Magnus! I guess I am just going to have to wait for the other books to see more of him. He still is my favourite book in this series, so I hope to see more. I did like the references to The Infernal Devices over Will Herondale, so I am looking forward to seeing Magnus being friends with Will.

Luke - I feel sorry for Luke. He’s the dad of everyone. Instead of it being Luke I am your father, it’s I’m Luke, and I’m everyone’s father. I am looking forward to seeing his and Jocelyn’s wedding, and I hope that we still see him around. I do think that Luke took more of a back seat in this book, which I am sad about, because I like how important he was in City of Glass.

Jocelyn - I was hoping to see more of Jocelyn as a mother in this book, but she was barely in it. I did like how she set some rules for Clary though, it does make her seem like a mother in her absence.

Maia - I am really starting to like Maia. I like how after Simon basically cheated on her, she still went to save him. I think I may like book Maia more than TV show Maia.

Jordan Kyle - I was suspicious of Jordan, after he came to volunteer to be the band singer, after no one had come for the position in a year. So when I found out he was a part of the werewolf guardian group thing, and had turned Maia, I wasn’t surprised. I do like him though, and I hope that we see more of him.

Camille - I didn’t mind Camille in Clockwork Prince, but then again, she didn’t threaten my favourite ship then. I dislike Camille a lot. She’s on the same level as Sebastian for me, because I know she is going to play games, and manipulate Shadowhunters & Co.

Lilith - I wasn’t expecting Lilith to be the band promoter from the gig that Simon’s band played at. I didn’t like Lilith, but I don’t think that you were supposed too. I don’t think that she’s dead. She might be severely injured, but I don’t think she died. I hope that she is dead.

I can’t wait to continue with City of Lost Souls, but the next book I’m reading is Clockwork Prince! I kinda can’t wait to go back into Victorian London, but I also want to find out what happens next in City of Lost Souls! I better get reading!

Love Lou xx

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