#the one on the left took 48 minutes. I then made a copy and added the bonus which took less than a minute

[wiyodreamz]

𝑽𝒊𝒗𝒊𝒅 𝑳𝒐𝒗𝒆 | 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑺𝒆𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒉𝒘𝒂 [02]

⌜Nari is a college student at Seokhye University. One day she got off on the wrong foot with Seonghwa, throws her coffee on him and curses him out. Later that day she signs up for an internship at Hwa Corp. That same day, she learns that the same guy she threw her coffee at, is the CEO of that company. How will things go for Nari if she has a target on her back from that encounter? ⌟ Office AU

01 | 02

A/N: if you want to be on my taglist, dm or send me an ask with ur user.

Contains: fluff, angst, smut, alcohol drinking, cursing, and more as the story goes on.

Seonghwa X Fem!reader

Warnings: alcohol consumption and a heated makeout session

Tag list: @seonghwaskitten

Nari felt like she could hibernate after these few weeks. Mr.Park, or his real name Seonghwa which she learned from the workers, has been pushing her to her limits in the past week.

She was working on a PPT and then at the last minute before she had to hand it to him, he made her start all over again, making her want to hit her head on the wall for hours. Her appearance even shows that she was exhausted too.

“Did you just roll out of bed just to come here?” Dani remarked as she laughed at Nari appearance. Nari had very noticeable eye bags, even with makeup on.

“I’m not in the fucking mood Dani” she said as she glared at Dani and sat down at her desk.

“Ooh! A temper I see” Dani said in a snarky tone and then sat down at her desk.

“How many hours of sleep have you been getting, Nari?” Sunji asked as she looked at Nari concerned.

“About an hour or two, but the day he made me redo the ppt, I only got 30 minutes. So I’ve been functioning off coffee” she answered.

“Nari you’ll hurt yourself doing all those things! You looked stress...” Sunji trailed off as she looked and saw Dani glaring at her to be quiet.

“I know that I’ll have to stay up and finish the other things too, plus the stuff I have to do towards school to” she said as yawned sleepily.

“Moon Nari! As your friend I declare that once you get off work, you take a nice long shower to relax and sleep in until you can no more tomorrow! Because me and you are going out somewhere to distress!” Yunho declared as he stood up and that caused everyone to look at him. “And he’s at least nice enough to get us Fridays off.”

“Yunho you know I-“

“Nari we’re going tomorrow, no complaints or excuses!”

Nari laid back into her chair and rubbed her eyes. Taking a nice long shower and sleeping in sounds like heaven right now. She decided it would be best to with Yunho and she mostly can’t say no when he gets like that. She nodded sleepily at home and went back to working at her desk.

She was currently eating lunch and the same guy who made coffee came up and sat down in front of her.

“Are you sleeping okay?” He asked as he looked at her.

“I am” she said, not really wanting to make a conversation right at that moment.

“I can tell that you’re lying. Your eye bags or messy hair doesn’t help” he said. “Oh I’m sorry, my name is Hongjoong.”

Nari looked at him, “it’s fine. I’m Nari.”

“Aren’t you like close friends with Mr.Park?” She asked.

“Yeah I am. I never really see him work anyone as hard as he’s doing to you. Did you happen to piss him off or something?” He asked.

“Yeah, I sort of threw my coffee at home one morning” she admitted.

“You’re that coffee girl he’s always been complaining about?!” He asked shocked as she nodded.

“Yeah, now I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from doing that” she said as continued eating. She heard the clicking of shoes and looked up to see Mr.Park staring down at her coldly.

“Yah intern! I need these copied right now!” He said as he slammed a stack of papers right in front of her.

“Yah Mr.Park! Can she at least finish her lunch first and if she doesn’t have them to you ten minutes after her lunch, you can scold me alright?” Hongjoong suggested ad Mr.Park clenched his jaw and then sighed.

“You better be lucky that Hongjoong saved your ass” he said and then walked away.

“Thank you!” She said with a tired smile.

“You’re welcome and you better eat quickly, because even though we’re friends, he won’t hesitate to scold me harsh.”

It was now the end of the day and Nari, for the first time, she left with the other interns instead of staying over.

“You guys aren’t leaving yet” Mr.Park said as he came out his office. “Ms.Lee hand them the papers.”

“What are these papers for?” Dani asked as she looked at it.

“These papers are what rank you’re in” he said. “I’m also ranking you guys on your time management, workmanship, and how hard you’ve been working.”

“You’re ranking us?” San, a classmate that’s also going for the internship asked

“Of course, that’s how I’ll choose you guys in the end.”

Nari looked down at her paper to see her rank, but was angry at her rank. She was 10th, the last rank. How much time she put in while doing the work she was asked even overdoing it, the nights she stayed up to fix things up for him and other workers, and even staying a few hours over after everyone left. She crumpled the paper which made everyone turn their attention over to her.

“Aw, are you mad that you didn’t get the rank you wanted?” Dani asked in a mocking tone as Nari glared at her and saw the smirk Mr.Park was wearing.

She stormed away, despite hearing Yunho calling after here and made her way back to her apartment.

“How could he do that?! Ordering me around and stressing me out and giving me that last rank?! THE LAST RANK?!” She thought angrily as she walked inside her apartment building.

She followed Yunho’s advice and went inside the shower. The hot water felt so refreshing on her tense muscles, she swore she could fall asleep right then and there.

Once she got out the shower and into her pajamas, she felt relaxed and calm, but that feeling went away once she saw the balled up paper that fell from her coat pocket. She took it and threw it in the trash.

“Fuck you Mr.Park” she said angrily and then got into her bed. After a long time, she was going to get a full nights rest.

Nari was enjoying the amount of sleep she was getting, until her phone kept blowing up. She whined when she had to get up and go get her phone. She saw many text from Yunho

From Yunho [2:46 P.M.]: r u awake yet?

From Yunho [2:48 P.M.]: i see ur actually sleeping in

To Yunho [2:49 P.M.]: yeah i just woke up not to long ago. what do you need?

From Yunho [2:51 P.M.]: we’re going tonight like i planned yesterday.

To Yunho [2:52 P.M.]: like on a date??

From Yunho [2:53 P.M.]: of course not! we’re going to a dance club!

To Yunho [2:55 P.M.]: yunho, you do know I don’t do clubs or dance right?

From Yunho [2:57 P.M.]: well you better be ready at 7 because that’s the time I’m picking you up at.

The conversation soon ended and Nari thought she could spare a few more hours of sleep, she definitely deserves it by how hard she works.

It was now a couple of hours before Yunho came to get Nari. She decided to put on a simple dark red dress, that wasn’t too tight fitting on her. As she finishing getting ready, she saw Yunho’s car outside her apartment.

She grabbed her purse that had all her things that had her information on it just in case she was too drunk to respond to them, or they just find her asleep outside on the convenience store table. That has happened before. She walked outside and got into Yunho’s car.

“Still can’t believe I convinced you to go out” he said as he turned towards her.

“Most likely forced me too” she said as she crossed her arms. “I need it though”

The two soon arrived at a club. Nari could already smell the alcohol from the outside, she knew that the smell would be even stronger when they walk in and she was right. People were already drunk and were drunkily dancing on the dance floor.

“I don’t really want to dance, so I’m just going to sit at the bar” she told Yunho as he nodded.

“Once you’re ready to go, just send me a text or find me” he said and then disappeared on the dance floor.

She sighed and sat on one of the barstools as she looked over everyone getting drunk off their minds. She played with her hands nervously and turned towards the bartender. “Can I just have something random?”

The bartender nodded and went to go make the drink.

“Aah, classic Nari. Always doing this randomly” a voice said beside her. She turned to see her ex, Minhyuck, staring at her.

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be with that girl you cheated on me with?” She asked as she sipped on the drink that was brought to her.

“Come on! It was a misunderstanding” he said as he leaned his body towards her.

“So seeing you deep inside another girl is a misunderstanding?” She asked in a state of shock. “Wow you’re ridiculous!”

He smirked at her. “And besides, I broke up with her.”

Nari watched him down his drink and intrigued on why he broke up with her. Minhyuck wasn’t the type of person to break up with a girl, he most likely cheats on them. “What did she do?”

“She was very distant and I honestly got very bored of her” he said as he swirled his second drink. “And I’ve miss you.”

Nari scoffed and rolled her eyes as she drunk the last of drink. “I haven’t missed you.”

She stared at her empty glass and decided to order another one, but Minhyuck stopped her. “Just put it on my tab.”

The bartender nodded and went back to their job. Nari turned to him. “So I guess you’re a regular here?”

“Yeah and I’m friends with the bartenders here. They owe me for the things I did for them” he said as he drink his new drink.

The two chatted for awhile. Nari hated to admit it, but Minhyuck was great person to conversation with, despite his personality and the things he’s done in the past.

As the minutes go on, Nari felt herself get more intoxicated. She felt Minhyuck hands on her thighs, but she didn’t due to her being intoxicated. He then leaned in and kissed her on the lips and she returned the kiss. If Nari was sober, she would’ve slapped him right then and there. But her drunken state told her to continue. Soon the kiss turned into a heated make out session, Minhyuck’s hand was creeping closer and closer to her core.

She felt dizzy and like she would faint any second, but that didn’t stop Minhyuck from kissing her neck.

“Min...Minhyuck can you please stop. I feel dizzy.” But once when she said that, her vision started getting blurry and she felt someone carry her.

The person who was carrying here suddenly dropped her and soon dropped to the ground right beside her.

“I’m glad I was keeping my eye on you bastard!” The voice said as they punched the person on the ground and then pick Nari up, she soon fainted after that.

Nari then woke up in a different setting that wasn’t her bedroom. She looked up and saw a more fancy bedroom, with a super huge window that showed Seoul. She looked down and saw she was wearing a shirt that was very large on her and saw black sweat pants. She can hear the shower coming from the bathroom and a note on the bedside table.

Take this medicine and eat this granola bar. You can see yourself out.

She took the pain medicine for her hangover and ate the granola bar and walked into the living room. It was bigger than her whole apartment and she made her way to door. It wasn’t hard to find her shoes, since hers were the only female shoes in the pile of men shoes, and walked out the apartment. She mentally told herself to run away if she sees Minhyuck in a place.

She was going to take the rest of the days to find out who that mystery man was and thank him for saving her.

#ateez #ateez angst #ateez fic #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #ateez smut #ateez x reader #seonghwa #seonghwa fic #seonghwa imagines #seonghwa smut #seonghwa scenarios

[heyheshi]

Mirror Selfies, Fake Hickeys, and Cheetos... And Lots of Make Out Sheesh

3.3k words

written and uploaded: August 27, 2020

🦋 - fluff

🌙 - angst...? Idek now honestly lmao

💎 - smut, well just lots of make out sheesh

Please like and reblog! Also please don't post my writings anywhere!

Have y'all heard "Half The World Away"? This piece could have been a song fic since it's about being best friends but I've already wrote like half of this when I got the idea and this is in your POV so I'll be doing a song fic soon! And it's about HTWA! in Harry's POV on my 2nd month!

Masterlist

_________

You checked out your outfit one last time in front of your full body mirror - smoothing out those little wrinkles and making sure that your chosen clothes emphasizes your body in the most flattering way. My butt's poppin!, you thought to yourself.

The attire of your choice wasn't entirely revealing, wearing a white sailor pants with eight gold buttons in front - four on each sides, a sheer laced white sleeveless bodysuit that plunges just enough to show a bit of your cleavage, and white pumps. You look elegant in your opinion but not elegant enough to not get hit on in a club.

You're not trying to empress anyone but you also don't wanna look like you just got out of bed on your cousin's party. You decided not to wear any makeup - just some eyeliner and lip gloss, your hair parted in the middle in a low tight ponytail. You added a few gold accessories to accent everything.

You're sure that the club's packed and you're gonna get sweaty, you don't want any makeup to ruin your white clothes. Keeping your fingers crossed that you can keep everything clean and intact throughout the night.

Natural and elegant. Keep it natural and elegant, your mums words keeps replaying in your head.

You took your phone out from your purse that's laying on the dresser - opening the camera app and posing for a couple of mirror shots but only having three of your favorite - one doing a very cheeky pose by smiling big at the mirror while winking, your other hand doing the 'gun'; one looking sweet and shy, looking at the mirror with your eyes wide while holding a strand of your hair as if you're a child being handed your favorite sweet treat; and one looking sexy and seductive, putting your pointer finger on your lip as if biting on it as you look straight into the camera through your mirror.

Giggling to yourself after checking out the photos, you opened the messages app next and clicked on your conversation with your best friend Harry.

"Think it passed the "okay" looking?", you typed...

And sent!

You found him attractive but vowed to not cross any lines but you're feeling extra brave tonight so you also sent him the one where you looked really really hot - in your opinion.

Honestly, you'd say you're tall but not tall enough to rock a sailor pants the way Harry does but to your surprise, you looked rather ravishing tonight.

Your best friend of 2 years gifted you these pants as a joke as you always teased him about wearing one so one night he brought you these pants and said, "you better at least look okay in it" but now jokes on him. You thought that those three pictures will do the honors of mocking him.

As you're locking your front door, you hear your phone notification - a new message from "Sugar Baby :<", an inside joke that you used as Harry's contact name.

"Who was I kidding, you look good in anything. Take care and don't forget our plans tomorrow!", the message said, quickly responding with two frog emojis, you locked your phone.

---

The club really is packed but your cousin had this private booth for everyone so it's all good. You partied like a college student with your cousin and her other friends, managing to not ruin your clothes despite of everyone's clumsiness.

You don't remember much besides drinking and dancing and talking and laughing and kissing this guy - Austin. He was one of those guys that looks like they modeled for some clothing magazine - an underwear apparel perhaps.

It didn't get far with Austin, you mostly just danced and made out but you're also not sure since you're too drunk to comprehend anything. The last thing you remember was you saying goodbye to your cousin and Austin getting you a cab then you're back to your house.

You didn't remember if you paid the driver more than the real rate but you didn't care, you're too excited to try this hairstyle you saw on one of your cousin's friend.

Opening your front door and locking it after you got in, you kicked off your heels and got a bottled water on the fridge to bring to your room. Everything looks blurry but the digital clock on your bedside table reads 2:13 AM.

The last thing you remember was removing your almost non-existent makeup after changing your clothes and sitting on your dresser.

---

You woke up on your bed feeling light-headed but at the same time feeling like you have 10 pounds of rock on top of it. You noticed that you're laying on your bed wearing your worn out college shirt, some underwear and a tiny pair of shorts. Your blinds shut all the way and your clock reading 9:48 AM.

Freaking out, you remembered your plans with your best friend today. Scrambling out of your bed to your bathroom, you brushed your teeth and washed your face thanking the heavens for giving you enough time to change out of your clothes last night - which is now on your hamper near your bathroom door - and cleaning your face properly.

You also noticed that your hair is properly styled - your hair's upper half's sectioned into three then braided to meet in the middle, while the half down's curled into waves.

You left the bathroom and went to your dresser to check your phone. You saw that your hair curler is still plugged but turned off - quickly unplugging it - and your other hair styling supplies laid on your dresser.

You head is still pounding as you look through your messages and missed calls. None of them from "Sugar Baby :<". Sighing, you racked your mind as much as you can to remember why your hair is styled this way and why hasn't your best friend called, maybe he got called in the studio last-minute, your mind told you.

Shaking your head, you slowly opened your door to strut down to your kitchen to eat some breakfast and take some Advil to at least ease your headache.

You were about to put some cereal on your bowl when Harry appeared out of nowhere startling you, a few bits of your corn flakes now scattered on your table.

"Mornin' sleepy head", Harry chuckles, greeting you with a teasing smile as if to mock you for mocking him last night when you're the one who's hammered right now. You looked at him with scarred eyes then pulling your eyebrows together as if questioning him.

"You gave me a spare key, remember. Knew you'd be hung over so I didn't woke you up, just let myself in. Was in the washroom when you got down.", he said answering your unvoiced question, "oh I also got you some waffles from your favorite diner, it's in the living room.", you only smiled at him as a sign of gratitude.

You started cleaning up your mess when you heard him speak once again, "wild night huh?", Harry teases you.

You looked up to meet his eyes, "Huh? What're you talking 'bout?", you asked in your morning voice, only having to talk right now for the first time.

"Huh? What are you talking about?", Harry failed miserably on trying to copy your voice, you only laughed at him. "C'mon love, don't be shy now!", he added.

You shake your head at him and looked down, "I really don't know what you're talking about...", you kept your head down as your tried to think of everything that happened last night that might connect to what Harry was saying.

"So you're telling me nobody tried to hit on you with THAT outfit last night?", he joked.

"Uh well someone did but nothing happened, I swear, so please just tell me what is it. My head hurts when I try to think."

Harry took his phone from his pocket and gave it to you, the camera app opened. You can see your tired looking face on the screen, "look at your neck, you got three.", Harry explained.

Trying to find what he's talking about, you moved your hair away from your neck and saw it. Three bruises on your neck, a hickey perhaps? One below your right ear, one just above your left collarbone, and one in the middle of your neck.

"Oh...", was the only thing you said as you further examined the bruises and giving the phone back to Harry. You're sure that Austin didn't leave a mark then you realized something.

At first it looked like a love mark but when you looked closely to it, you'd realize that it's a burn - your hair curler burn. After realizing it, the events after you went home last night came rushing back making you hold your head.

You remember everything from changing your clothes, to removing your make up, to sitting on your dresser and clumsily trying this hair style you saw on the party and managing to burn yourself more than usual as you curl your hair, then going to bed after you gave up by turning off the curler.

Looking back at it, your hair style and burns doesn't look that awful for some drunk fella doing it. And for some reason, you don't want to tell your best friend the truth so you just shrugged it off as you finished cleaning up your mess.

You can feel his eyes burning on your neck as you rounded the table and giving him a hug, "thank you for the food.", you said and went to plop down on your couch in the living room, leaving H astounded and confused.

You started opening the take out boxes that contains your waffles and some other breakfast as Harry opened your T.V. and launched Netflix.

The silence was nice for your head with only a few laughs here and there as you both watched and eat some breakfast but Harry was unusually very quiet, not making any remarks at all.

You decided to ask him later and finished off your food, Harry already done with his a few minutes ago. You stood up the couch and took your trash to the kitchen then taking some pain reliever for your head before going back to the living room.

When you went back to Harry, he was just looking absent-mindedly on the television so you sat really close to him and took his right arm so you can tuck yourself beside him, bringing back his arms but this time around your body.

"What's the matter?", you asked as you looked up at him, the medicine already taking its effect making you less dizzy.

"Just tired love.", he said not looking down at you. You only nodded and never thought much about it and looked back to the show you both were watching while caressing his hands that's laying near your tummy.

A few more minutes on the movie, you called out his name, "Harry, I can tell something's bothering you...", you whispered.

Harry being Harry, whipped his head so fast that your lips accidentally touched in a peck. Sighing, he moved his head away from yours, "later.", was the only thing he said, not giving you any explanation.

You knew that the sigh wasn't because of the accidental kiss. You've shared a kiss or two before when you were both drunk or accidentally kissed like this so it wasn't new but it didn't stop you from running your tongue throughout your lower lips when he wasn't looking.

He was acting really strange. He's always really affectionate and flirty when it comes towards you so - always mocking you or telling you jokes and distracting you most of the time by tickling you as you cuddle with him - so you know that something's bothering him right now.

He looked at you when you started to move away from him, only for you to straddle his lap and hug him, something you usually do when he's feeling down.

Yes, it doesn't look like something best friends would do but you both became really comfortable enough around each other to do this.

The show long forgotten as you tended your Harry, running your hands through his hair as you pecked his hairline repeatedly. Harry had his head on your neck as he holds you tight against his body, his two big hands covering almost all of your back.

You don't know how much time has passed but you didn't mind until you felt Harry's hand going at the back of your neck, finger tips felt like he's tickling your skin but you didn't make a huge deal out of it.

Your legs now feeling a bit numb so you adjusted yourself on his lap, Harry's head snapping back to you, "stop moving, Y/N.", he said sternly and you whispered an apology. You knew how much he hated it when you two cuddled and you can't stop moving.

He just put his head back to your neck again and for a few minutes everything is peaceful until you felt ticklish on the spot where Harry's head's placed but you refrained from moving, not wanting to upset him any further.

The movement was barely there for a few minutes until you can firmly feel his lips kissing and licking your neck, "H-harry, wh-what are you d-doing?", you tried to push him away but he only hold you closer, your moans threatening to spill as he continues his movements.

You then felt him suck and bit on your neck, a movement you knew will give you a mark - Harry's mark, and then you realized that where he's doing it is the spot where you burned yourself.

You cannot stop yourself from finally gripping his hair to push his head more towards your neck, both of you moaning a bit.

"What're we doing?", you panted heavily as Harry moved his head, probably heading towards your other burn below your ear.

His mouth working deliciously on your skin making your stomach churn and making you grind on him in return, moaning in delight.

"I'm just making sure that those marks are now MY marks.", Harry looked up to you with droopy eyes then went back to marking you.

"I- bu-", you couldn't form any coherent word, let alone a sentence so you just let your best friend mark you as much as he wanted.

You know it's wrong and that you vowed not to cross any line but his lips just felt too good on your skin to stop it.

You gripped his hair tightly making Harry moan as he marked you on the thrid spot, the middle of your neck, one of your sweet spots - and you think Harry noticed as your moans and whimpers of his name got louder making him suck harder.

You grounded you hips on his, feeling him get hard. You yanked his hair away from your neck and met his lips in a hot steamy kiss. His hands now on your hips, helping you move your hips against his.

Moans, pants and whimpers was all you can hear around the living room until you pulled away.

"I- Harry what are we thinking?!", your frustration is heard and can be seen on your face, your lips swollen and your neck red and starting to bruise from Harry's earlier assault.

Harry throw his head back on the couch, "fuck! 'M so sorry love! I- I always- fuck! I just, was so jealous of the guy I couldn't contain my possessiveness and you're not even mine!"

You only looked at him surprised, "I-", you didn't finish your sentence as you went back to kiss him again which took Harry by surprise but eagerly kissed you back.

"It was a burn.", you panted against Harry's lips.

He pulled away, looking at you confused, "what?".

"Nothing happened last night, we only made out, it wasn't hickeys, it was hair curler burns...", you explained blushing.

He put his hands on your arms, caressing it lightly, "why didn't you tell me?"

"Dunno", you shrugged, "guess I wanted to know how you'd react, make you jealous maybe...", you looked down ashamed of yourself, feeling so small under his gaze.

Harry only laughed as he run his fingers along his marks, "well it worked. Got really jealous, love.", he said and angled your face to meet his eyes. "Liked you since forever and I was jealous, thought he got to take THAT outfit off of you last night...", Harry murmured, his ears looking red out of embarrassment making you feel a bit better.

"Liked you since forever too... and good thing I went home alone, huh?", you teased Harry, ruffling his hair a bit and putting both of your hands on his shirt clad chest.

"He still got to kiss you..."

"Well then guess you got a lot of making up to do!", with that you kissed him again, hungrily. Until he pulled away.

"Cheetos.", Harry said then went back to kissing you again but you're too confused to continue.

"H, what?"

"Those three pictures last night...", he kissed down your neck as he continued, "Cheetos, salsa-queso for the one where you looked cute and cheesy...", slowly going back up, "the sweetos Cheetos - the cinnamon sugar puff ones - for the one where you looked like a child...", he pulled away at last making you breathe out finally, "and flamin hot Cheetos for the one where you looked really sexy.", Harry smiled cheekily at you as you pondered on what he said.

"You couldn't have thought of something better to compare me to, huh?", you laughed at him but you think it's sweet, really.

Harry played with the tips of your hair and said, "I bet you fifty bucks that you sent that last picture just to seduce me."

"Well Mister Styles you're right!", you laughed, "why? Are you mad?"

"Mad? That outfit made me lose control, really thankfully it led to this."

You pecked his lips once more, "hmmm, you're right... so what now...?"

"Well for starters, you could've called me to take care of you last night...", his sweet words ran through your head until he continued, "and well you owe me...", he did this cute thinking face that you love, "you have to wear it again, this time, with ME beside you, want us to match too!", you giggled at his childishness but let him continue.

"That's just an excuse to take it off of you the next time around!", he overexaggeratedly winked at you, letting you know that he's joking - maybe not but honestly you don't mind!

You sighed then smiled, "that's it?"

"Well you do owe me a date, miss."

You removed yourself away from him and stood up, "is that so? You gotta call me SUGAR MOMMY first!", you teased him.

"Stop! Come back here!", Harry made a grabby hands at you while jutting out his lips.

"Okay, just tell me when and where!", after that words came out of your mouth, Harry quickly went to where you're standing and kissed you for a few seconds before carrying you to your bedroom where you spent the rest of the day kissing and laughing and planning for your first date. Making a mental note to buy those Cheetos to bring along to your date.

Your headache long gone and the both of you not feeling any hunger as long as you got each others lips. For the first time in months, you felt really happy, now you wouldn't be jealous of Harry being with other people, and him to you but the thought of putting your friendship with him at risk scares you to death but with him beside you, you knew that it'll all work out in the end.

_____

#harry styles #harry styles one shot #harry styles jealous #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #solo harry #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles writing #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles imagines #harry styles drabble #harry styles prompt #harry styles preferences #harry styles concept #harry styles au #harries #harrie #heyheshiwritings

[spaceskam]

our fainted thrill carries on (3/13)

warning for biphobia and anxiety and being a little petty towards maria

ao3

“We’re closed.”

“Can we talk?”

Turns out, Michael liked the way the bandana looked around his hand. It’d only been a little over 48+ hours since it’d been put on there and Alex had to give him a new, not bloody one, but hadn't found himself staring at it and zoning out. Though, maybe having a full fucking breakdown helped clear his mind a little. He felt better and had sufficiently shown up to Noah’s funeral without causing a scene. Having a 24-hour coma-like sleep in a blanket and clothing that smelled like Alex after taking a shower with Alex’s soap helped too.

Still, as he walked into the Wild Pony, he was hoping Maria didn’t notice just how much he didn’t smell like himself.

“You haven’t wanted to talk to me in days, but now you suddenly want to?” Maria asked, voice still clipped. It was out of character. Usually, she was nice to him. Hell, even when she was mean, she was nice. Right now, though, she seemed prickly. Moreso than even Max on a bad day.

“Well, yeah,” he said, sighing as he took his hat off his head, “I just wanted to say I’m sorry for kind of just disappearing. It’s been a rough, like, ten days. Honestly, it’s been a rough few months, but shit picked up.”

Maria’s shoulders fell a little as her edges softened.

“Liz told me that Max up and ran off when they broke up right after Noah died,” she said a little softer, “I know that’s probably rough on you having to carry all of that weight for Isobel.”

Michael nodded slowly. She had no idea that the only one struggling to carry anything was him. Isobel and Liz, as far as he was aware, were doing fine. Or maybe not fine, but they had their shit together and could compartmentalize enough to do whatever the hell they were doing. He couldn’t. But, if that’s how this was going, so be it.

“Yeah, but I’m trying to get my own shit in order now,” he said, forcing a half-hearted laugh that faded as soon as it came, “So I’m sorry for not making myself clear in what I wanted.”

Maria eyed him up and down, staring a little too long at his jeans which was just fucking weird considering the situation. He just waited for her to respond. Eventually, a semi-hurt look showed in her eyes and she held her chin high, meeting his gaze.

“I know about you and Alex,” she said. He raised an eyebrow despite the fact that his heart skipped a beat.

“You’re gonna need to be more specific. You already told me a few months ago you knew,” he said. Michael had decided not to have an opinion on how she found out. Alex was her best friend, he was free to admit who he liked in the past. If some lines got blurred and she knew too much, well, he probably deserved it.

“No, I mean I know now that it isn’t over between you two. I talked to him,” she said. His eyebrows furrowed. Where the hell did she get that from? It was most certainly over between them. He’d slept on Alex’s couch for over a week now and not one single time had it ended up with them fucking. That felt like more than enough confirmation that it was actually over.

“Um,” he said, huffing a laugh and tilting his head in confusion. Her eyes changed like she saw something that he didn’t. “We’re not together, it’s over.”

“You literally just copied Alex’s mannerisms and your aura is bad at hiding guilt. I’m not stupid, Guerin,” she said, crossing her arms defensively. He shook his head and tried to make her see that they were over. He loved him, but he always fucking would. He still had to move on eventually. 

“Is this about him texting Isobel? He’s still a friend,” Michael said, though the word didn’t quite sound right. He wasn’t really sure why he expected it to. Even though they were being friends right now, it didn’t stop Michael from finding solace in the way Alex’s sweats hung low on his hips when he made coffee or how his athletic shorts clung to his thighs after a run. There was nothing friendly about that. But still, for all that anyone needed to know, they were friends.

“If he’s just a friend, why were your clothes at his house the other day? Like, a whole stack. I know you don’t go all the way out there to do laundry,” she said. Michael blinked a couple of times and took a step back.

“Why were you at Alex’s?” he asked. Maria scoffed.

“He’s my friend, what do you mean? I can go to his house whenever I want.”

Still, Michael felt weirdly defensive at the idea of her being there. It felt like sirens were going off in his mind, telling him someone had trespassed onto his safe space. But Alex’s home wasn’t his home, even if he had stayed there often. 

“You’re jealous,” she added faintly, “You’re jealous that someone that wasn’t you went to his house. Are you fucking kidding me?”

Michael rolled his shoulders back, taking a breath to push away that slightly suffocating feeling that rose as her voice did. He wondered if she knew the difference between jealousy and fear. He stared at her and tried to come up with something that made sense to say. But, in that moment, his hand ached a little more and the fact that his shirt smelled like Alex did nothing to make his mind make sense. He shouldn’t have come here. He shouldn’t have come here.

“We aren’t together,” Michael repeated, putting his hat back on. He clenched and unclenched his hand, the skin feeling too tight all of the sudden.

“If you’re gay, just say it, Guerin,” she said. Michael blinked hard and took a firm step back. “Don’t lead me on, it makes things harder and it’s just mean.”

“I’m bisexual, I’m not‒” Michael stopped himself, realizing it was pointless to argue with someone who wanted to see him in a negative light. So, he took a deep breath. “Alex is important to me and so are you. I’m not leading you on. Alex and I are over. But I’m gonna go.”

Maria didn’t try to stop him.

Michael got to his truck, his hands on the steering wheel as he took labored breaths that Alex had instructed him to do two nights prior whenever he felt like that. Like this. But he quickly reached for his phone, something in his system telling him to call Alex to ask him what the hell he told Maria to make her think he was not only gay, but that they were together.

Alex picked up in the middle of the second ring.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice so, so sharp that it reminded him he was at work. That didn’t stop Michael from being a little calloused right back.

“What the hell did you tell Maria? She told me she talked to you and now she thinks we’re together,” Michael demanded. Alex was quiet for an entire second that felt more like an entire lifetime. “You promised honesty so tell me.”

“Give me one second,” he said. There was some rustling and Michael could hear him excusing himself to someone else. Then a door closed and he could basically feel when the phone met Alex’s ear again. “She came to me asking for my permission to date you, Guerin. I told her I didn’t have control over you and she saw your clothes on my couch, that’s it.”

“That’s it? You expect me to believe she jumped to that conclusion from just that? That’s fucking bullshit,” Michael snapped. He didn’t mean to. Alex didn’t deserve it, but that need to argue with someone still was bubbling under his skin and Alex was there. “What else did you say to her?”

“Guerin,” Alex said, voice soft but controlled, “Identify the trigger and breathe.”

They both went silent for a few minutes. Michael closed his eyes and took deep, controlled breaths as he bowed his head against the steering wheel as he thought. The accusation that he was lying. He was still angry about that, but he tried to calm himself. Because this was Alex and Alex deserved better. So he breathed. 

“I’m sorry,” Michael told him.

“Mm,” Alex grunted in response. Michael waited another second, giving him time. “Whenever she came over, she told me she thought you might’ve had a change of heart about your sexuality. I may have gotten a little defensive, so maybe that was it. I don’t know, but I’m sorry if I messed things up.”

“Oh,” Michael breathed, “Okay.”

A few more silent moments, a few more times breathing in sync with Alex.

“Are you actually going to date her?” Alex asked. His voice was soft, the Captain gone away for a moment and in place of that teenage boy who Michael never saw anymore. 

“I don’t know.”

“Okay,” Alex said in the same voice as before. Then he cleared his throat and suddenly the Captain was back. “Right, I have work. I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, bye.”

Alex didn’t say goodbye, but he hung up the phone. Michael stared at it for a little while and slowly but surely started realizing things were uncomfortable between them. Well, not uncomfortable, but dependent. Alex had promised his home was always open to Michael, but that didn’t mean Michael should be using it as a crutch. He was feeling better now, more like himself, so he needed to act like it.

No more going to Alex every night.

-

Alex walked into the hospital cafeteria still decked out in uniform, taking long strides with purpose.

After his talk with Michael that morning, it’d left him feeling a little bit vulnerable and he was not in the mood to keep that feeling up. Which is why when Kyle had texted him about finding something that looked interesting, he was more than eager to put his full focus into that. Kyle smiled when he saw him and waved him over, two coffees already on the little table. Alex sat beside him.

“So, what’d you find?” Alex asked, taking the coffee with gracious hands. Kyle scooted a little closer and pulled out his phone. 

“This,” he said, voice hushed as he pulled up a picture. It was clearly of a tattoo on an older person, the skin a little rough and the tattoo clearly old. The tattoo was some weird looking symbol that looked kind of familiar, but Alex couldn’t quite place it.

“Um,” Alex said, furrowing his eyebrows, “What exactly am I looking at?”

“That’s your dad’s tattoo on his lower hip,” Kyle explained, voice still hushed, “I saw it whenever I accidentally walked in during his sponge bath.”

“Gross.”

“Yes, but it looked familiar,” Kyle went on, “So I looked it up and, from what I can tell, it’s a combination of the Neptune symbol and the male symbol.”

“What does that have to do with anything though? Like, why is it important?” Alex asked.

“Well, I’m not entirely sure, but it was bothering me and so I was thinking that maybe it was one of the symbols my dad had drawn, you know? So I was wondering if you could put it through that and see if it matches anything,” Kyle said. Alex nodded, looking a little closer at the symbol.

“Yeah, I will, but I don’t think my dad would get an alien symbol tattooed on him,” Alex said, taking a sip of his coffee. It had the perfect amount of sugar and creamer for his tastes. He reached out and zoomed in a little. “And, look, it looks closer to like a stick-n-poke style, like he didn’t go to a shop for it.”

“I know, which is why I felt like it might be something a little more sinister than something random,” Kyle pointed out. Alex nodded slowly and squinted his eyes. “Stop squinting, it’s bad for your eyes.”

“Alright,  Mom,” Alex scoffed, but he rolled his eyes with a small smile and leaned closer. “Fuck, that looks familiar.”

“Right? Which is weird.”

They both continued to stare at it, searching their memories for where they could’ve possibly seen it before. Neither of them seemed to come up with an idea, but it clearly had to be something important. Alex knew his father and he knew there was no way in hell he got a tattoo unless it meant something important, especially something done in such a shotty fashion.

However, it got Alex’s mind reeling and, still feeling a little eager to feel more in control, he looked to Kyle.

“I think it’s time to wake him up,” he said. Kyle’s eyes widened.

“Are you sure? I mean, it’s only been like two weeks.”

“Yeah, but I feel like I’m stuck. I have all the files, but all of his personal bullshit isn’t in them. If I’m going to find out what I want to find out, we need to wake him up,” Alex said. Kyle eyed him wearily. “Besides, the longer we keep him out, the more likely it’s going to draw attention. Might as well get it over with.”

“Well… If you’re sure…” Kyle said slowly. 

“But, uh, hey, before we do,” Alex said, “How are you handling what happened at Caulfield?”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “I already told you I’m fine.”

“Okay, but the first time you see a whole building explode and tons of people die isn’t, like, easy. You’re processing it okay and everything, right? If you need to talk, I’m here,” Alex promised. Kyle raised an eyebrow.

“Honest question: where is all of this coming from? Like, a couple months ago, talking to you about shit like this was like pulling teeth,” Kyle pointed out. Alex sighed, going through his mind as he tried to make sense of what had actually changed.

“I realized I’m not going to get anywhere in life if I hide from the, what, two people I trust? I gotta start somewhere,” Alex admitted, “Plus, you’re in this shit as deep as I am and if you suddenly have a psychotic break, I’m gonna have to be the one to deal with everything.”

“And to think I was expecting something nice,” Kyle said, laughing slightly. Alex just shrugged. “But I’m okay. Like I said, a little paranoid, but I know there’s nothing I could’ve done to change it. I’ve accepted that.”

“Guess being a doctor comes with its emotional perks.”

“Maybe.”

Alex downed the rest of his cooled coffee, looking to Kyle with determination. 

“Prepared to wake the best?”

Kyle nodded with a heavy breath. “Can you be here tomorrow morning?”

“You know I can.”

“Perfect.”

-

“You good, boy?”

Michael looked his shoulder to where Sanders was standing, arms crossed and face a little judgmental. None of that was new, of course, Michael had been getting that look for over a decade. 

“What do you mean?” Michael asked.

“Well, for starters, you look like you’re about to destroy that fuckin’ car you got there,” he said. 

Michael grunted in response, leaning back over the engine. Liz had asked him to see if he could fix up Max’s jeep for when he got back and, while he agreed, he got a little more pissed every time he messed with it. A trigger, Alex had called it. So he breathed.

“I’m fine.”

“Yeah, you been sayin’ that since you were stupid enough to build a bike out a spare parts and then destroyed it when the tire needed air,” Sanders pointed out. Michael winced at that. He may have been a little bit angry when he was fifteen. However, that had been the moment Sanders had offered him a job to blow off steam and started to teach him everything he knew about cars.

“Yeah, well.”

“Yeah, well,” Sanders repeated, “What exactly are you workin’ on this for?”

Michael licked his lips and tilted his head back. “Just fixin’ it up for a friend.”

Sanders eyed him with his one good eye which was something he liked to do often. Michael learned early that he was very fond of criticizing him, but it was for his own good. That criticism is how he rebuilt that bike once upon a time and later rebuilt an engine. And, even later than that, rebuilt an entire car.

“Why aren’t you workin’ on that tractor? That’s big money.”

“I finished it,” Michael sighed, flashing a smile, “And I changed Mrs. Long’s oil and rotated Mr. Tran’s tires. Oh, and I replaced Miss Cecelia’s brake pads. I’m on a role.”

“Mm,” Sanders grunted, “And you chose to do this instead of something productive?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Michael said, “Helps me blow off steam.”

“There’s a lot of ways to blow off steam, boy,” Sanders told him, shaking his head, “Doin’ favors for some pretty girl ain’t gonna get you anywhere.”

“What makes you so sure it’s for a girl?” Michael asked, smiling a little. Instead of judging him for that, Sanders simply rolled his eye and shook his head.

“You know damn well it don’t matter,” he said, “Girl or boy, you still can’t just be doin’ favors for people.”

“Why not?” 

Sanders stepped up close to him, pointing a finger like he was about to say something extremely important. Which, you know, it probably was. So Michael listened.

“When you do that, you get stuck in this cycle of being indebted to someone. You give ‘em somethin’, but then they repay you and you gotta give ‘em somethin’ back. You get stuck,” Sanders explained. For the first time in two weeks, an actual, full fledged smile found his face.

“You saying you’re stuck with me, Old Man?” Michael prodded. He glared a little bit.

“Clearly. You’re like a dog I fed once and won’t leave.”

“Aw, don’t kid yourself, you’d be lost without me.”

“Keep tellin’ yourself that,” Sanders grunted, but Michael knew that it was true. If he wanted him gone, he’d have kicked him out a long time ago. “But that wasn’t my point. You get yourself in that cycle and then you’re the one who loses. ‘Cause eventually you won’t have the drive to give anymore and then suddenly it’s your fault. You gotta avoid that. You here me? Watch yourself.”

“I always do.”

Sanders just grunted his way and turned around, heading in the opposite direction. Michael watched him and mulled over his words. When did that line start to form? Isobel and Max had helped him so many times and he helped them when he could. But who did the last bit? Or did it matter? Was it just his job to do it anyway? 

He realized that, at the end of the day, he had no fucking idea what they were doing. Michael had seen them both at Noah’s funeral, but they hadn’t really talked. He had no idea what they were doing with Max or where they were in the process. He had no idea what Isobel was doing with her powers or if Liz needed his help. They’d stopped asking.

But they’d helped him. Maybe it was his time to show he could be helpful too.

-

“I cross-referenced the image and there’s no matches, so it’s not alien. Or at least not what we know.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about it and, if it’s really a combination of two human-made symbols, then it’s probably not alien,” Kyle sighed.

Alex reached over to the papers that were sprawled across the bed, trying to gather them to put them back in the folder. His eyes glanced up at the monitor that showed all of his cameras. Michael’s truck still wasn’t outside and he still wasn’t on his couch. Alex pushed away any concerns that came with that.

“I tried looking into each of the symbols to see if they had any deeper meaning that I could make sense of, but it’s just the male symbol and then Neptune which stands for a group of three. It doesn’t make any sense,” Alex scoffed, “Three men or something? Maybe there’s two other guys who have it. Maybe he got it right out of basic or something with his friends. Maybe we’re looking into it too much.”

“Maybe,” Kyle said, “But I don’t think we are.”

“Is that paranoia or do you have a reason for believing that?”

“Both,” Kyle said confidently. Alex snorted, again looking at the monitors. Nothing. “But, c’mon, it’s your dad. When has he ever done something that didn’t have some type of deeper, grosser meaning? “

“Okay, valid,” he sighed, sliding the papers into the folder and then leaning over to put them in the safe beneath his bed. Once they were tucked safely beside his gun, he closed it. “I’ll keep digging.”

“Me too,” Kyle said, “Sleep well, yeah? Big day tomorrow.”

“Big day,” Alex huffed, “I’m just ready to get this shit over with.”

“You and me both. Did you know Liz is trying to get me to steal a fucking heart monitor? She’s losing her mind.”

“I thought you said Max’s heart was shredded?”

“It is,” he scoffed, “Again, losing her mind.”

“Well, fuck,” Alex said, settling back into bed. He left the monitors on, waiting for whenever Michael would show. “You think she’s gonna be okay?”

“Um… I honestly don’t know at this point,” Kyle admitted carefully. Alex stayed silent. He hadn’t actually talked to Liz one on one about what she’d said to Rosa. He felt like that was something he could deal with at a later date, but maybe he would need to bump that up if she was in that kind of state. Maybe he needed to talk to her.

“Okay, um, maybe I can make some time to go over there? We can have dinner with her and Rosa, maybe? Or everyone, honestly. Stage it as a time to fill them in on all the bullshit with my dad after we wake him up then slide it over into making sure whatever they’re doing has a reason. Because I don’t mind giving you space to work with alien tech and biology, but I don’t need Liz losing herself in the process,” Alex said, looking to the door as the house creaked. It was natural that it did that, old pipes and all, but it still made him jump.

“Yeah, yeah, I agree. But let’s talk about it after we talk to your dad,” Kyle said. 

“Absolutely.”

“Alright, I’ll see you in the morning, night.”

“Night.”

Alex sighed as he ended the call and put his phone on his nightstand. His alarm clock clearly showed that it was almost midnight and usually, Michael would be curled up on the couch where Alex could watch him. However, he wasn’t there. Not even kind of. It had him wondering if their conversation earlier had actually scared him away this time. But he knew that was probably not it. Michael wasn’t required to play guard dog for him. 

Instead of dwelling on the disappearing man act, Alex flicked the light switch that he’d had wired to be beside his bed and settled into his pillows. The dim light of the screen gave the room a little life and Alex watched it intently. This would be his last night of peace before they woke up his father and yet he still couldn’t feel comfortable.

Every time his eyes would close, the house would creak and he’d jump. Or sometimes no noise would happen at all and his brain would just start saying ‘someone’s outside’ and he couldn’t push it away until he checked. No one ever was, but it still happened over and over until his heart was racing.

He hated this. He felt like a child as every little thing stressed him out a little more. Except he couldn’t just run to his mom in the next room because she wasn’t there. No one was there. 

Truly, he should’ve expected this and maybe that’s what kept him from trying to fix his paranoia for over an hour. He knew that he liked knowing someone was close by and he knew that he always struggled to readjust to being alone. He did it after he lost his leg and no longer had a hospital full of orderlies or a base full of soldiers close by, he could do it now when Guerin no longer wanted to use his couch. Him not being there was a good thing. That meant he was healing. And that meant Alex had to heal too.

It wasn’t until his phone buzzed and he frantically reached for it that he realized just how much he wasn’t going to sleep that night.

It’d only buzzed to let him know his phone needed a system update, but he pressed the button to delay it because fuck that if he was going to let himself be phoneless for any amount of minutes. Alex tried to relax into his bed and distract himself, but he couldn’t close his eyes and the more he tried to force himself to calm down, the more it felt like he was going to crawl out of his fucking skin.

Then something shot across one of the cameras and he was up, instantly going for his crutch and his gun only to see that it was just a rabbit. He was a soldier, he shouldn’t have been so fucking scared. He could take care of himself better than anyone else could. 

But the fact was that he was paranoid and on edge and about three seconds away from crying until he suffocated. He tried his best to calm down, still watching the cameras. The more still they seemed to get, the more Alex’s mind seemed to be creating things in them to scare him. Was that a man by his Jeep or a tree? Was that a soldier in the corner of his living room or a lamp? Was that just a shadow in the corner of his room or...

He had three options: suffer, cave and take his Zoloft, or cave and call Michael.

He suffered until he was crying.

“Hello?” Michael answered, voice sounding like he hadn’t been sleeping either despite the fact that it was a quarter past one in the morning. Alex would feel shame the next morning for the way he found a way to breathe when he heard his voice. He felt just a little bit less alone. How pathetic was he?

“Hi,” Alex breathed, taking a shaky inhale as he curled up with his phone. His eyes were still glued on the corner of his room, waiting for that shadow to be something else and waiting for it to hurt him while he was already down. 

“Are you okay? You sound like you’re crying, are you crying? What’s going on? Where are you?” Michael rattled off, rustling in the background of the call followed by the clinking of his keys.

Alex swallowed hard, pushing himself up to turn on the light again. There was no one in the corner.

“Alex, answer me,” Michael said, voice a little urgent as his truck started up.

“Um,” Alex started, closing his eyes tight as he caved a little bit more. He tried not to feel weak, tried to think of how Michael had come to him when he needed him only a few days prior. “Remember how I said you could pay me back?”

“Are you at home?” Michael asked softly.

“Yeah,” Alex sniffled, forcing a laugh as he again looked over his room and the cameras. He pulled his blankets up around him for some form of false security.

“Okay, I’m on my way,” he said.

“Don’t hang up?” Alex asked. 

“Never.”

Alex took a grounding breath and nodded, telling himself over and over that he wouldn’t be alone for too much longer. Someone else would be there soon. It would be okay. He would be okay.

“What happened?” Michael asked, doing as he promised and staying on the line.

“Nothing, I just…” Alex trailed off, watching that rabbit disappear back into the woods and hoping no one came out of them, “I guess I got used to you being here.”

Michael was silent for a few seconds and Alex got scared he hung up or went through a dead zone and that would be when someone came out of his closet with a gun cocked and loaded. But then he heard Michael sigh as he was making sure he didn’t see any weird shadows beneath his closet door.

“I didn’t know,” Michael admitted.

“I didn't tell you,” Alex said, his eyes drifting to the curtains that covered his window. Sometimes his ceiling fan would make them move. Sometimes he wasn’t so sure it was the ceiling fan.

"Yeah, but I should’ve checked in with you. I haven’t checked with you at all about anything, I’ve been focusing on myself,” Michael said, “I’m sorry, I’ll do better.”

“It’s not your job.”

“Yeah, well, I realized that there are a lot of things that aren’t technically my job, but I should be doing anyway. And I haven’t been,” Michael sighed. Alex wiped his eyes as his stupid tears subsided, curling up a little more as he focused on the fact that no one was in his closet or in the corner or behind the curtains and that Michael was on his way. “I’m gonna do better, Alex.”

“Okay.”

"I'm not gonna date her, by the way, too much more important stuff," Michael added in as if that was a part of his previous thought process. Maybe it was.

"Okay."

“Do you wanna talk about it or do you wanna wait until the morning?” he asked, “About what’s wrong, I mean.”

“It just happens sometimes,” Alex admitted even though he hated it, “I can usually keep it under control, but I was trying not to take fucking pills.”

“Keep it under control,” Michael repeated softly, “So you feel like this a lot?” Alex just laughed. A lot would be an understatement.

“Every time I don’t have a distraction.”

Again, Michael was quiet for a few seconds. Alex listened extra closely and focused on the way that he breathed. He fell in sync with it and was only a little startled when the pipes creaked.

“No one’s gonna fault you for taking pills to help you, Alex,” Michael told him as if he was suddenly Mr. Wise Man. 

“Please, for the love of God, do not lecture me right now,” Alex begged. He was kind of over pretending he wasn’t upset. Because he was and he needed something to calm him down so he could sleep so he wouldn’t be a fucking wreck when he had to go wake up his dad. He needed something to distract him. He needed Michael.

“Yeah, okay, sorry,” he said, “So, uh, did I tell you I fixed a tractor this morning?”

“Oh, yeah? How?”

Alex listened to him speak in mechanical terms that he didn’t fully understand all the way, but it was enough to get him to calm down as he made his way to the cabin. The phone stayed connected as he pulled up, parked, and let himself inside. He moved the phone closer to the locks so he could both hear him lock each one and see him do it through the cameras. Michael didn’t hang up until he stepped into his bedroom.

“What do you need?” Michael asked him, parroting what Alex had asked of him two weeks prior. The difference was Alex actually knew.

“Can you lay down with me?” he asked, feeling a little pathetic, but too desperate for closeness to let it stop him. Michael nodded and took off his boots.

“Want me to turn off the light?” Alex eyed him warily, part of him wanting to say no despite knowing that neither one of them would get any sleep if they stayed on. “I’m here, Alex, no one’s gonna hurt you with me here.”

Alex wondered if he could read his mind, read his irrational fears and put them out in the open so he could affirm that he’d protect him even if they became real. But then he considered that maybe, just maybe, Michael knew exactly what he was feeling like. Maybe he’d felt it before and no one was there on the other end of the phone call.

“Okay,” Alex agreed.

The lights flicked off and Michael jumped onto the bed within the same second. They didn’t touch, laying on opposite ends, but they stared at each other. Alex was beneath the blankets; Michael was on top. Alex was in his boxers; Michael was in his jeans. And yet they both felt terrified of the bullshit in their mind. Two sides of the same fucking coin.

“You know if anyone comes after you because of what happened at Caulfield, I’ll kill them, right?” Alex told him. Michael smiled easily.

“You know if anyone comes after you because of what happened at Caulfield, I’ll kill them too, right?”

“You’re not a killer, Michael,” Alex said, but he was able to sink a little more into his pillow knowing someone had his back and was close enough to actually do something about it. Someone with superpowers, no less.

“I could be," he whispered, "If it was for you, I could be."

They stared a little longer and they stared until the panic turned into fatigue and they stared until Alex’s eyes closed. And then Michael stared until his breathing evened out and he stared until he was absolutely sure he was asleep. Then he got up and walked around the cabin, double-checking every lock on all the windows and doors before going back to the bed. He kept the camera monitor on.

They both slept better in that 4-hour window than they had in weeks.

#malex #malex fic #michael guerin #alex manes #roswell new mexico #my fic #our fainted thrill carries on

[sammisafetypin]

O1/WB Timeline Analysis

hi !! so I was curious about time stuff going on in outlast 1 and whistleblower , because lets be real , its .. not Terribly consistent and trying to write anything regarding th canon of o1 and wb is a nightmare because of it . so I was thinking about it , ended up googling how long a drive from DC to Colorado is , and from there ended up starting to analyze stuff like sky lighting , and I think I ended up with a pretty good idea of what rough times things start and end ! I was mostly curious about how long it takes for th riots to start , how long Waylon is in engine therapy* , and how long both Waylon and Miles spend in th asylum , and I think I came up with decent answers ! 

I wrote it all on a google doc originally , but i don’t know if tumblr still does that stupid thing where it won’t let posts with links show up in tags or not , so i’m just gonna copy-paste everything i wrote under th readmore 

rlly sorry if dere’z any inconsistenciez , i tried my best to make sure everything made sense and i THINK it does ? you can also scroll past th indented lists of me listing times by hour , i used em cuz i cant count * for th sake of simplicity i use ‘engine therapy’ to refer to what happens to waylon where he has to watch th engine but isnt put into th full thing

NOTE: this sort of jumps around because 1. I’m autistic and just sort of ramble out disjointedly like this and 2. I wrote it rather late at night . I tried to clean it up and write down stuff that pulls things together more coherently , but still .

—

We have very little point of reference for how long waylon went through engine therapy for before the riots , but we know that a drive from DC to Colorado is about 27 hours without stopping .

Waylon’s email was sent on Sept. 17, 2013 . there is no physical way that Miles could’ve showed up on the same day , and we know that the Mount Massive Incident took place on the 18th . Waylon writes his email and sends it approximately 2 hrs before the opening cinematic . we have no point of reference for what time it is — the computers in the start have no time displays that I can find , and we can’t see outside . We’ll get back around to that though — if we can figure out when Miles showed up and how long he took to show up , we can find out the email time .

Oh yeah , we’re hyper-analyzing . in Outlast 1 , when Miles arrives , it appears to be late sunset , probably civil or nautical  twilight . It’s storming but the horizon is visible , and the sun is far enough down that most of the sky is dark except for the west horizon . The differences of twilights are difficult to tell , especially because of the storm , but it looks like civil or nautical twilight . Sunset starts at 7:08 PM and nautical twilight ends at 8:06 PM on this exact day around Mount Massive . Visibility might be altered based on elevation , but 1. I don’t know how to account for that , and 2. I put Leadville into the website as well and received the same times beyond a one minute earlier difference for civil twilight , which is probably a result of just distance anyways . And , it’s most likely the asylum is built near ground level , because it’s unlikely that an insane asylum would be built on a high mountain cliff . All in all , for simplicity purposes we can say Miles showed up at around 7:30 PM on the 18th .

If we turn back the clock exactly 27 hours , that puts us at 

6 pm - 1 5 pm - 2 4 pm - 3 3 pm - 4 2 pm - 5 1 pm - 6 12 pm - 7 11 am - 8 10 am - 9  9 am - 10 8 am - 11 7 am - 12 6 am - 13 5 am - 14 4 am - 15 3 am - 16  2 am - 17  1 am - 18  12 am - 19  11 pm (sept 17th) - 20 10 pm - 21  9 pm - 22 8 pm - 23  7 pm - 24 6 pm - 25 5 pm - 26  4 pm - 27

4 PM on the 17th! if Miles literally drove for 27 hours straight , in perfect traffic without stopping once , and left immediately after receiving Waylon’s email , the email would’ve been sent about 4:30 PM on the 17th . but Miles is obviously very alert when he shows up , and probably not dumb enough to try to drive 27 hours without eating or sleeping . as a reporter , though , he’s probably also used to driving long distances . let’s give the benefit of perfect traffic and that he left immediately , and say that in total stopping for food , bathrooms , fuel , etc. added up to 2 hours . let’s say he split the drive into two sessions , perhaps a 16 hour and a shorter 11 hour , it doesn’t really matter , and slept 7 hours between them .

3 pm - 1 2 pm - 2 1 pm - 3  12 pm - 4  11 am - 5  10 am - 6  9 am - 7  8 am - 8  7 am - 9 

Being as time-conservative as possible , Waylon sent the email at ~7 AM on the 17th , and was first exposed to engine therapy at ~9 AM . Miles arrives the next day , at ~7 PM , about 36 hours after the email is first sent .

We also know when Waylon is given engine therapy in the opening cinematic that it’s mentioned that Billy made a lateral ascension , and that that’s a problem . It’s most likely this lateral ascension led directly into the Walrider breaking free under Billy’s control and initiating the riots . 

We don’t know how long Miles spends at Mt. Massive , but we know that Waylon sees the burning church not long after Eddie’s death , and very soon after hears an announcement about an “unknown assailant” in the underground lab , Miles . Let’s assume that after the ‘12 hours later’ time marker , the remaining events of the vocational block take up about 2 hours , accounting for Waylon slipping in and out of consciousness a few more times . It’s sunup on the 19th when Waylon escapes the vocational block / when Miles kills Billy and is possessed , we see that from both perspectives (the windows in the admin block and the loading bay in the sub lab) and the sun rises at 6:51 AM . back with it again at the 7:30s , Miles probably dies around 7:30 - 8 AM on the 19th . This allows for the time between Miles seeing the loading bay and the last events of the game after that . That means he spent 12 hours in Mt Massive . That means that he arrived 2 hours into Waylon’s unconscious period , and went through the asylum almost entirely during that time .

So with that , we can start turning back time . That means that it’s 7:30 PM 2 hours into Waylon being unconscious in the vocational block , so he was knocked out around 5:30 PM . This doesn’t line up very well with us seeing it appearing to be dark in earlier outside areas , but please understand that it’s nearly impossible to make this completely accurate . I think we can use the heavy fog as a partial excuse , and the strange greenish-yellow tint the sky has that I think is partially just a weird overlay Outlast always has , but partially might be a deeply cloudy and foggy daytime sky . It’s flimsy , but the sky definitely doesn’t look that dark when you get a look at it .

Waylon sends the email at 7:30 AM of the 17th , consequently is probably committed around 8 , and receives engine therapy at 9:30 . Billy also makes his lateral ascension at this time . Waylon escapes not long after Miles does , roughly 7:30 AM - 8 of the 19th . That means Waylon’s entire experience , from email to escape , is 48 hours , give or take (he leaves after Miles’s death so a bit more) . A lot spent unconscious , but still . So 14 of those hours are unconsciousness onwards . 2 hours are the time between the email and engine therapy. That gives us a whopping 32 more hours to kill . I don’t think that all of what Waylon goes through , from picking up his camcorder to being drugged in the vocational block , takes 32 hours . It’s really hard to gauge because we’re trying to compare video game time to real time , but Miles has some unconscious time as well and his entire experience is 12 hours . if Outlast 1 , counting however long Miles was out after Martin got him , is 12 hours , I don’t think 70% of Whistleblower is thirty-two .

There’s not a lot of time to use as reference anymore , this is the point where we’re just kinda forced to eyeball it .

Let’s review to make sure everything makes coherent sense .

We know that Miles arrived at 7:30PM the 18th because we know the Mount Massive Incident is on the 18th, and because of the sky. We know he died around 7:30 AM the 19th because of the sky. And because we see sunup as Waylon as well, and hear the unknown assailant message, we know these 12 hours took place while Waylon was unconscious + during his time getting out of the vocational block . We know the email was sent the 17th because it’s time stamped . And we know that being as time conservative as possible , with a 27 hour straight drive + time for basic necessities , Miles probably took 36 hours to arrive , putting Waylon’s email at 7:30 AM on the 17th . Canon tells us Waylon is put into engine therapy 2 hours later .

17th, 7:30 AM - Waylon sends the email 

17th, 9:30 AM - Waylon is put into engine therapy 

??????? - Time Gap - ???????

18th, 5:30 PM - Waylon is drugged in the vocational block 

18th, 7:30 PM - Miles arrives

19th, 5:30 AM - The 12 hour time jump 

19th, 7:30 AM - Waylon escapes the vocational block, Miles is possessed, Miles dies. Waylon escapes soon after, closer to 8

9:30 AM  10:30 AM - 1 11:30 AM - 2 12:30 PM - 3 1:30 PM - 4 2:30 PM - 5 3:30 PM - 6 4:30 PM - 7 5:30 PM - 8 6:30 PM - 9 7:30 PM - 10 8:30 PM - 11 9:30 PM - 12 10:30 PM - 13  11:30 PM - 14 12:30 AM (18th) - 15 1:30 AM - 16 2:30 AM - 17 3:30 AM - 18 4:30 AM - 19 5:30 AM - 20 6:30 AM - 21 7:30 AM - 22  8:30 AM - 23  9:30 AM - 24 10:30 AM - 25 11:30 AM - 26 12:30 PM - 27 1:30 PM - 28 2:30 PM - 29 3:30 PM - 30 4:30 PM - 31 5:30 PM - 32

We’re left with a major time gap, 32 hours. This starts with Waylon being put into engine therapy and ends with him passing out in the vocational block. Being generous, and considering that characters like Martin needed time to set up their shenanigans, I’ll say that the time from Waylon picking up his camcorder to the V.B. locker takes 6 hours. It seems reasonable, especially if he spends a lot of time hiding from characters like Frank. That means that the Walrider attacks began and riots started at this time too— 11:30 AM of the 18th. Maybe a little earlier and it just took a bit to reach the hospital, but we don’t have means to prove that, and the Walrider clearly works fast. That leaves us with 26 hours , almost a full day , left unchecked . 

Billy makes a lateral ascension during Waylon’s first engine therapy session , which is implied to be what leads to the Walrider’s actions , but we have no idea how long it takes for him to completely break through and for the Walrider to start slaughtering . It’s possible many hours were dedicated to trying to calm him back down , and inevitably , it failed . It’s also possible that they got him back under control but once he hit one lateral ascension he was able to do it again , this time with much more anger . This is the only thing that fits into the timeline because of Miles’s driving time— if the riots started right after we first see Waylon in energy therapy in the opening cinematic, there would not be enough time for Miles to arrive when he does .

The time between Waylon first being put into engine therapy and the game actually starting is 26 hours . If the patients are allowed 8 hours rest and a half-hour per meal, which is really being generous to how Mount Massive treats its patients, 9 ½ hours go to that. Waylon spends about 16 ½ hours doing a combination of being half-conscious in a cell, getting his brain poked at, and going through engine therapy .

All in All: 

Sept. 17th, 7:30 AM: Waylon sends the email 

[2 hrs]

Sept 17th, 9:30 AM: Waylon is subjected to engine therapy, Billy makes his first lateral ascension.

[26 hrs] 

Sept 18th, 11:30 AM: The riots begin, Waylon is in engine therapy during this time. He is released from his chair and gets his camcorder, starting his escape mission.

[6 hrs]

Sept 18th, 5:30 PM: Waylon is knocked unconscious in a locker in the vocational block, and remains unconscious for 12 hours. 

[2 hrs]

Sept 18th, 7:30 PM: Miles arrives at Mount Massive Asylum.

[10 hrs]

Sept 19th, 5:30 AM: Waylon wakes up for the first time and witnesses Eddie’s murders.

[2 hrs] 

Sept 19th, 7:30 AM: Waylon escapes the vocational block, Miles kills Billy and is possessed. Miles is killed, Waylon escapes the asylum.

#outlast #outlast whistleblower #miles upshur #waylon park #timeline #long post #just in case th readmore failz for some reason #thank you i put way too much effort into dis i hope yall liek it <3

[summerga06-blog]

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[nicolewrites]

heartstrings - ii

hey it’s been less than 48 hours, but this keeps getting longer and longer. originally should have been a one-shot is likely going to be ~4 parts now. Just a slight warning, some mentions of alcohol abuse and past abusive relationships. Anyways,

part i

Rating: T Genre: Romance Characters: [Vax’ildan and Keyleth] [Percival de Rolo and Vex’ahlia] Words: 6258

Kiki @keylethashari has tagged you in a tweet: New Q&A up and we’re talking music! creds to @vexmachina @vaxmachina @burtreynoldsesq @thelumineers and others!! // CR1 Vaxleth+Perc’ahlia YouTuber/Musician/Celebrity AU

AO3

“So, one more time, if we sign this, then we get complete creative control over our album plus we can keep releasing videos and stay active on YouTube?” Vex asked as she flipped to the second page of the heavy contract before her.

Cassandra nodded. “It’s definitely important that you guys get to keep your brand which is two siblings making videos and singing together. We just want to help you be able to distribute your music. We can hook you up with collaborators or producers or even just get you better equipment.”

Vax exhaled and fiddled with the corner of the contract. “And there’s no rush, right? No pressure on us to have an album out in the next month or anything?”

Cassandra smiled. “Well I figured your first step could be to record some of your more popular covers and release a cover album. It will be a good way to both introduce you to the studio and better quality recording equipment as well as reintroduce the world to the Vox Machina they already love. 

Vex and Vax made eye contact. Everything that was being proposed seemed in their favour and Cassandra and Whitestone had definitely been the most respectful of the fact that they had shot to fame so suddenly that they were still adjusting. In all honesty, Vax could have been ready to sign with the label from the first meeting they had, but they did need time to consider all of their options. 

Conclave Recording Studios had offered them a much larger signing bonus, but that contract had been riddled with little hooks that robbed them of certain royalties, their creative freedom, and even control over their YouTube channel. That had been an easy deal to turn down, even if the money was a little tempting. 

Still, Cassandra had come back with a counteroffer once she learned that the twins were considering other avenues and had presented them with total control, no restrictions on their channel, and a bonus bigger than Whitestone’s original offer, though not quite at the same size as what Conclave was willing to give. 

Vex smiled at Cassandra and picked up the pen. “Well, this all sounds perfect to me.”

“I can agree with that,” Vax added as he flipped to the final page. 

They both signed their names on each copy of the contract and Cassandra scrawled her name in beside theirs. The beautiful woman who had been lurking in the back of the office stepped forwards and signed as the witness before she clasped her hands and gave both twins a radiant smile. 

“I look forward to working with both of you!”

Vax raised an eyebrow and glanced at Cassandra. The record owner smiled and patted the beautiful woman on the back. “Vex’ahlia, Vax’ildan, this is Zahra, the publicist I previously mentioned. She’s in charge of my most important clients and I know you’ll love her.”

Zahra grinned widely. “I can already see that the two of you will sell as you’ve managed to prove that yourself with your channel.”

Vex stood up and held her hand out for Zahra to shake. “Well, darling, I’m sure it will be a pleasure to work with you as well.”

Zahra winked at Vex. “Aren’t you charming! I can see what Percy likes in this one for sure.” Vax rose to his feet and gave Cassandra another curious look. He glanced back at Zahra who was leaning against Cassandra’s desk, still smiling. “You know Percy?”

Zahra waved her hand. “Entirely too well. He used to be my client before I passed him off to the very capable hands of my friend Vanessa. Plus, I’ve been working with Cassandra for a while and you don’t work with one de Rolo without seeing the other at every turn.”

Cassandra shrugged. “Well, I can’t deny that, I am having lunch with Percy today. You are welcome to join us if you’d like, Vex, Vax.”

Vex smiled. “I’d love to, but don’t tell him I’m coming, I’d like to see the look on his face when I just appear.” Vax shook his head. Typical Vex’ahlia. He slid his phone out of his pocket and smiled faintly, an idea flitting across his mind. “I have to pass, but this has been a pleasure.”

The three women in the room shrugged and returned back to easy conversation as Vax opened a new message. 

[Vax] so i know this is probably a little last minute, but how’s today for that raincheck from Scanlan’s.

The reply was almost instant.

[Keyleth] oh you are alive aha. today is actually perfect for me. what did u have in mind??

-

Vax had seen enough of Keyleth’s videos to know that she absolutely adored the vegan lunch place on 6th Street. When he had suggested it, she had sent him four texts of incomprehensible gibberish to show her excitement. Vax had simply smiled and excused himself from Cassandra’s office, calling an Uber as he went. 

When he arrived at the restaurant he decided that this place was exactly the type of place he would expect Keyleth to frequent. It was decorated with dozens of plants and succulents as well as some casual bohemian decorations. It almost reminded him of the room she often filmed her videos in, so it made sense. He had managed to beat her there, so he stood on the curb, hands in his pockets as he waited. 

He waited for seven minutes before a car pulled up and she flew out of the backseat, smiling like crazy. Her red hair was tugged into a ponytail and she was wearing denim overalls with a floral blouse. Her eyes twinkled as she caught sight of him and she pulled him into a tight hug. Vax hugged her back and caught a strong floral whiff that was probably perfume, but he liked to think that Keyleth, the radiant ball of sunshine, just naturally smelled like flowers.

“It only took us two months to reschedule this thing,” Keyleth laughed as she pulled back, leaving her hands resting on his shoulders. 

Vax shrugged. “Self-employment is incredibly difficult,” he said teasingly. 

Keyleth retracted her arms and smiled at him. “Very funny.” She looked up at the restaurant and smiled. “Have you been here before?”

“Melora’s Garden? No, I haven’t. I actually stole the idea from one of your videos.” 

Keyleth laughed and Vax immediately wanted her to do it again. “So you do watch my videos.” Vax smirked. “I’ll admit to that when you admit to watching ours.” “Vox Machina? Only one of my favourite channels lately.”

“Come on, let’s eat. I have news.”

Keyleth linked their arms and pulled him through the front door. “News?”

She turned away briefly to motion to the hostess that they needed a table for two, but she quickly turned her bright, curious green eyes back to him. Vax led her, following the hostess, and kept his mouth shut. As they sat down across from each other, Keyleth linked her fingers and rested her chin atop them, leaning forward.

“Come on, don’t keep me in suspense!”

“Well, I’ve been so busy lately because Vex and I signed with Whitestone this morning,” he revealed.

Keyleth’s beautiful smile spread from ear to ear. She reached out and squeezed one of his hands. “Vax! Congratulations! You guys definitely deserve this. Does this mean I’ll finally be able to buy one of your albums and do an entire video dedicated to why it’s one of the best of all time?”

He squeezed her fingers back in return. “Well, Cassandra wants us to release kind of a ‘Greatest Hits’ of the channel album first before we release any original stuff. She said it would be the world’s reintroduction to us as a real music group.”

Keyleth nodded. “I guess that makes sense, but in my opinion, you guys were a real music group the minute you decided to release your first video. Besides, I happen to think the couple of originals you guys have done have been your best work.”

Vax chuckled. “Thank you, but I don’t think we quite have the mindset to record an entire album of originals at this point. Songs like Phoenix never would have even been finished without your help, you know.”

Keyleth cocked her head. “Vax, I gave you like 7 words of feedback total. The rest was all you: the music, the lyrics, everything. You guys made that happen, not me.” She smiled at him again, but it was more tentative, like the shyer Keyleth he’d met at Scanlan’s party. 

Before he could reply again, a waitress was filling both of their glasses with water and smiling down at them. “Are we ready to order?”

Vax’s brain stalled. He had been so caught up that he hadn’t even glanced at the menu in front of him. Keyleth seemed to notice his deer-in-headlights expression, and she smiled politely at the waitress. 

“I think we need a few more minutes.”

The waitress nodded and bustled off to help someone else. 

Keyleth nudged the menu towards him, smiling. “Better take a look before she comes back and we’re still sitting here stupidly.”

Vax chuckled and picked it up. He flipped the menu up and skimmed his eyes over the selection of Buddha bowls. He paused when he realized that Keyleth was just watching him and hadn’t even looked at her own menu. 

“Kiki, are you going to order?”

She waved him off. “I’m getting Bowl 7, I already knew that.”

Vax put the menu down and grinned at her crookedly. “I think I’ll get the same.”

Her eyes twinkled as she slipped the menu out of his hands. “Well that’s easy for the waitress, isn’t it?”

-

Lunch was great. The food was different, but tasted delicious and Keyleth and him were able to keep a steady flow of easy, fun conversation. She talked about her father and her home and how she decided to move to L.A. Vax, in turn, told her the simplified version of why he and Vex left London and how important it was for them to have a fresh start. 

Keyleth listened with rapt attention and made insightful and supportive comments whenever Vax struggled to put something into words. Talking to her felt like one of the easiest things he’d ever done, even when he was recounting the worst times of his life. Even though she hadn’t known the struggles he had, she was patient with him and she didn’t assume anything about him or his sister. 

He gladly would have sat and talked with her in the restaurant for longer, but as they were finishing their meals, Keyleth’s phone started vibrating with repeated notifications. She frowned and unlocked it. It immediately took her to the Twitter app and Vax watched her face pale as she looked around nervously.

“Keyleth?” he asked cautiously. 

She sighed and turned the screen towards him. “Sorry,” she mumbled.

Ashari Army @keylethsashariarmy • 7 minutes ago

GUUUUUUUYS. @keylethashari is having lunch with someone?? They’re at Melora’s and it LOOKS like a date?? Can we get our best investigators on this ASAP. 

Vax blinked as he scanned the tweet. It had a hundred retweets and three hundred likes. People were replying, eagerly urging the original account to post a photo. Keyleth pulled her phone away and dropped it into her purse. 

She stood up and held out her hand for him to take. He hesitated before he accepted it and let her pull him towards the back of the restaurant. The staff members there looked up as they approached and exchanged looks between them.

Keyleth smiled politely. “Hi, I’m Keyleth Ashari, is the manager here?”

There was a brief scuffle as two waiters slipped into the back and reappeared with an old woman who brightened when she saw Keyleth. 

“Oh! Keyleth, dear, what can I do for you?”

Keyleth brushed some hair away from her face and dropped Vax’s hand abruptly. “Uvenda, I think there’s someone here trying to take a photo so I was wondering if you would be able to charge my card for the meals and let us leave out the back?”

Uvenda nodded immediately. “Of course. Just come with me this way, alright?” For the first time, the old woman turned her eyes to Vax and the soft, affectionate look she carried for Keyleth vanished in favour of a much more suspicious, guarded look. “And you are?”

Keyleth’s hand slid into his again. “Uvenda, this is Vax.”

The old woman raised an eyebrow and smirked a little. “Of course. Anyways, right this way dears.”

They were escorted out the rear of the restaurant and Keyleth laughed as they walked through the back parking lot to the next road. She glanced back at the restaurant and giggled. 

“That’ll teach them to ruin my dates.”

Warmth spread through Vax’s stomach. “A date?” Surprise shuttered her features and he laughed. He stepped up, draping an arm over her shoulder. “Don’t worry Kiki, I’m not some internet fan reading too much into things. This was two friends out for lunch.”

She beamed radiantly at him. She ducked out from under his arm and danced away from him, twirling as she laughed. “God do I ever miss freedom and anonymity though,” she said, glancing back at him.

Vax slid his hands into his pockets and watched her. She was as radiant and as beautiful as the sun, even if she could be awkward and goofy and shy. She was alarmingly human and charming and he knew exactly where her popularity stemmed from. And he understood her. Her charms and her stumbles and her desire to have one uninterrupted afternoon. 

She paused in her step and glanced down at the pavement, where her shadow was cast across the pavement. A sly smile slid over her face. “Hey, Vax, come here for a minute.”

He stepped up next to her so their silhouettes were aligned. She slid her arm around his waist and gave him a side hug. She paused and snapped a photo of their entwined shadows before she stepped back. She tapped something out on her phone before she slid it back into her pocket, beaming. 

He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t I get to see?”

“You’re following me, aren’t you?”

He shook his head, but he couldn’t help but smile as he pulled out his own phone to check Keyleth’s Twitter account.

Kiki @keylethashari • Just Now

Sunny days are the best days!! #shadowart | at Melora’s Garden

The tweet was accompanied with the picture she’d just taken of them. Fans were already filling up her replies, demanding to know who she was posing with. Vax smiled at her over his phone and she gave him a gentler, bashful smile. 

“It’s okay, right?”

He nodded. “I’d like it, but that might give people the wrong impression.”

Before he could say anything else, his phone vibrated with a text. 

[Vex] Percival and I are going for drinks on Friday. 

[Vex] Get on my level, darling

Vax smirked as he typed out his reply. 

[Vax] Check Twitter, Stubby.

There was a long moment before Vex replied.

[Vex] OH SHIT so thaaaat’s why you bailed on lunch. Well. 

Keyleth cocked her head at him. “Vax?”

He pocketed his phone. “I believe I was promised a full day of adventures, no? Lunch is one thing, but you must have other favourite parts of the city to show me.”

-

Vax was on the couch watching a fail compilation that Keyleth had sent to him, when his twin senses started tingling. Obviously, there was no way that it was actually a thing, but Vex and Vax had both always been very reactive to the approach of each other, so one night Kima had called it twin senses, and the name had stuck. 

He looked up just as the door opened and Vex walked in. She was wearing an emerald green blouse and black skirt and her lipstick and dark hair were just the tiniest bit mussed, but it was enough to know that her date with Percy had to have gone at least mostly well. To his surprise, Vex didn’t even glance his way as she headed straight for the kitchen. 

He rose carefully and followed her, stepping over the heels that she kicked off on her way there. He walked into the kitchen and found her measuring a generous amount of gin into a glass before topping it off with club soda. She sipped it with what could almost be described as anger, and Vax furrowed his brow. 

“Stubby?”

She spun so fast that she almost dropped her drink. “Jesus, Vax, you scared the shit out of me.”

“You walked right past me. I was in the living room,” he said. Despite his initial impression that her date went well, wariness crept along his mind. “Weren’t you just at a bar?” he asked, gesturing to the heavy drink she was holding like a lifeline. 

Vex pursed her lips. “Can’t exactly get drunk on a first date, no matter how charming the movie star is.” She gulped down more of the drink, furrowing her brow at the bitter alcohol taste. 

Vax stepped past her and poured himself a drink, sipping it slowly. Vex drained her drink quickly and snatched the gin from him as she poured another, not even bothering with the soda this time. 

“Vex?” he asked carefully. “Are you okay?”

She shrugged. “I’m fine, darling, just some paparazzi that interrupted a moment I would have rather been private, but I suppose that’s what I get for liking the charming movie star.”

Vax took another slow sip of his drink. “Oh.”

She waved a hand at him. “Since you’re hanging around Keyleth a lot, you must notice that her fans are absolutely rabid. Percy’s like that, except they’re all major magazine headlines.”

“And you told him you were uncomfortable?”

She laughed. “He was more uncomfortable than me. We’re having dinner at his place on Wednesday as so to avoid such things next time.”

He nodded. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time.”

Vex glanced between her empty glass and the bottle once more before she smiled tentatively at Vax. “I like him, Vax, I really, really do.”

Vax tucked his arm around her and hugged her. “I’m glad.” He paused, not wanting to overstep. “For the record, I like him much better than-”

“That’s not hard,” she said sharply, cutting him off. Drunk, honest Vex’ahlia was gone and she had been replaced with the guarded, colder version of his sister that came out anytime she spoke of their last year in London. 

Vax frowned, but he let it slide. He managed to wrangle the bottle away from Vex and get her in bed, but as he stared at their liquor cabinet, he couldn’t help but feel it would be better entirely empty permanently. 

-

The ringing of his phone woke him up the next morning. He rolled sideways, grabbing it and staring at the screen. He raised an eyebrow, but answered it quickly.

“Shaun?”

“I’m assuming she hasn’t seen it yet, has she?”

“Seen what?” he asked. He sat up and rolled his shoulders. He rubbed his eyes and adjusted the phone at his ear.

“I’ll send you the link, just give me a moment.”

His phone buzzed with a text and Vax switched to speakerphone so he could open it and stay on the call. Gilmore had texted him a link to a tweet by the Hollywood Reporter.

Hollywood Reporter @THR • 9 hours ago

‘Light of the Night’ actor Percival de Rolo caught locking lips with one half of YouTube pop-folk duo Vox Machina. 

The tweet was accompanied by two photos. The first was Vex and Percy looking cozy and happy at some bar and the second was Percy planting one on Vex as her arms locked around his neck. Vax cursed. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘no’, then,” Gilmore replied carefully. 

Vax sighed. “I should go make sure she doesn’t lose her shit. Thanks for the call, Shaun.”

“Of course.”

Vax hung up the phone and bolted out of his room. To his surprise, Vex was already awake, pacing around the living room in an oversized sweater as she spoke urgently on the phone in low tones. She looked a little surprised when she saw Vax, but she just gestured to her phone helplessly and he nodded.

Vax headed instead for the kitchen and started a cup of coffee. The pot was almost completely done brewing by the time Vex strolled in after him, looking more exhausted than she’d been in a long time. Vax didn’t say anything, he just held his arms open and let her walk into them, resting her head against his chest tiredly.

“Zahra and Vanessa are working on spinning those photos. I’m honestly not that bothered, but Percy isn’t happy.” She paused looking up at him, a small smile on her face. “He wanted to keep this between us for a while.” 

“He seems serious about you,” Vax commented, still carefully watching Vex’s face.

She shrugged and withdrew from him. “I guess so,” she replied noncommittally. 

Vax held in a sigh. The tinge of vulnerability and emotion Vex had shown was back behind layers of practiced smiles and charm. Something was wrong, and he didn’t know how to get her to admit it. He wasn’t sure where this was stemming from as all the time they’d spent in L.A., he had yet to see her looking like this.

He poured her a cup of coffee instead and tugged on the end of her loose braid. She grumbled and swatted at him, but at least he got a genuine smile out of her for it. 

-

Vax was feeling oddly nervous as he walked across the lobby of the apartment complex. He’d been here a few times before, but this felt different. He made eye contact with the security guard who waved him towards the elevators with hardly a second look. Vax stepped into the clean elevator and punched the button for the 14th floor. He slid his hands into his pockets and rocked onto his toes as the elevator ascended.

The doors opened and he let his feet guide him to apartment 1417. He knocked on the door and waited for a long moment before the door swung inwards. Instead of the freckled face and green eyes of Keyleth like he’d been expecting, Vax was met with a man he didn’t recognize at all. 

The guy had sharp features and brown hair that hung just lower than his ears. The stranger raised an eyebrow at Vax and shifted his weight before he stepped back from the door and motioned for Vax to enter. Vax stepped in cautiously, still eyeing the man with mild confusion. 

“Kash, who was at the door?” Keyleth called from further in the apartment. 

Vax walked through into her living room, accompanied by the man apparently named ‘Kash’. Keyleth looked up from where she was sitting cross-legged on the floor. She beamed when she saw Vax. 

“You’re a little early aren’t you?”

Vax shrugged. “Like five minutes.”

Keyleth giggled and stood up. She crossed the room and wrapped him in a hug. She smelt like flowers again. She stepped back and looked from Vax to the other man. She straightened suddenly and laughed. 

“Wow I forgot you two haven’t met yet. Vax, this is Kashaw, my publicist. Kash, this is Vax’ildan, he’s one of Zahra’s clients.”

Vax glanced at the other man who had visibly relaxed as he nodded. “You’re part of Vox Machina, right?” Kashaw inquired, crossing his arms.

Vax nodded. “Yeah, that would be my sister and I.”

“Zahra thinks you guys have got the stuff to make it big,” Kash said. 

Vax raised an eyebrow and glanced at Keyleth. She rolled her eyes. “As you can tell, Kash is definitely a ball of sunshine who is brilliant with people. But, as you probably couldn’t tell, he’s engaged to Zahra and they both work together at the agency.”

Vax glanced at Kashaw again. His brain really couldn’t seem to process the fact that this guy was engaged to the bubbly, enthusiastic manager/publicist Cassandra had introduced Vex and Vax to. It seemed almost comical to align the two in his brain. 

“But, we’re not here to talk about Kash and his terrible people skills. We’re here to make a video!” Keyleth said excitedly. 

Kashaw nodded. “Well that’s my cue to leave. Remember what I said, right Keyleth?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, I’ll be mindful of what we share. It’s not a live stream so we can always edit out anything that doesn’t fit.”

With that, Keyleth’s publicist vanished and Vax heard the apartment door shut behind him. Keyleth immediately grabbed Vax’s arm and pulled him to her couch where they sat side by side. She stared at him. 

“You’re sure you want to do this, right?”

Vax smiled. “Kiki, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to.”

She nodded. “Well, I know, but usually you and Vex are a packaged deal, so I just wanted to make sure you’re comfortable with singing on your own and stuff.” Vax laughed. “If you were anyone else, I would say no, but it’s all good.”

She smiled. “Well then, let’s start, shall we!”

She stood from the couch and moved into the armchair across from him. She fiddled with something on her camera before motioning for him to move over so he was out of frame temporarily. She hit the record button and moved into position on the couch. 

“Hello everyone! Welcome back to Variety Thursdays where I make whatever kind of video feels right!” She smiled charmingly. “I know people have been begging for another collaboration video and for another one about music, so I have decided to deliver on both of those fronts.”

She pointed at the camera. “Now, last time I made a music video, I talked about my favourite groups including one that I’d just discovered through my good friend Scanlan Shorthalt. I’m happy to say this video has changed a lot of things for me, including the fact that I’m not just raving about the incredibly talented Vox Machina to a camera since,” she paused, reaching over to grab Vax’s arm so she could yank him into view, “I’m actually sitting here with half of Vox Machina as we speak!”

Vax smiled for the camera and looked back at Keyleth. “Your video opened a lot of doors for us, so really, I think I should be thanking you for everything.” 

She bumped their shoulders together. “Nonsense. You and Vex are crazy talented so I’m definitely a big fan of yours.” She grabbed the stack of papers from the coffee table. “Let’s get to the whole point of this video! The people want to know you! Of course they know me, but let’s talk about the mysterious YouTube Twins who just popped out of nowhere with crazy vocals.”

Vax shrugged. “Vex is the singer. I play guitar mostly. But, if you’re asking, we moved here from London about 5 years ago for a couple of different reasons. The channel is actually due to pressure by a close friend of ours, Shaun Gilmore, who thought we were talented enough to get somewhere.” He looked more closely at the camera. “So Gilmore, I guess we owe you a bigger thanks than previously given.”

Keyleth beamed at him. “And you and I started chatting after I talked about you from Star Search, and we’ve become friends since then.” Vax smiled. “Honestly Keyleth, I really think we ought to credit Scanlan and Pike a bit more. They’re the whole reason I didn’t chicken out of talking to you since they invited Vex and I to that party where I literally crashed into you.”

“Yes, of course, we cannot forget the contributions from the others that actually taught me how much of a dork you are in real life.”

“Hey, you’re the one who snuck us out the rear of that restaurant.”

Keyleth smiled at him and for a moment Vax forgot the cameras were rolling because she was all he could focus on. She was an absolute natural and she made him feel at ease even though he could still get nervous in front of the cameras for his own videos. 

“So can we talk music then? Because you guys just announced that you’re signing with Whitestone Records, right?”

Vax nodded. “Yeah, Cassandra has been great to work with and Vex and I are really excited. We decided to produce some of our best covers first and do kind of a ‘best of the already released gems’ for our first outing, but we’re definitely not a one-trick pony. The channel isn’t going anywhere and you can definitely expect more original content in the future.”

“Oh my gosh, please let’s talk originals because Phoenix is amazing and so is Victory Lap. We know that you wrote most of Phoenix and Vex is the genius behind Victory Lap, so is there anything you can tell me for a hint?” She cast the camera a sly glance. “Well, I guess me and the people who’ll be watching this video.”

Vax looked around jokingly like he was looking for an eavesdropper. “Well, I guess, since I already cleared this with Vex, we can talk about something I’ve been cooking up.” He cleared his throat and Keyleth beamed. 

“A pretty girl picks up the pieces that the world said would never be masterpieces,” he sang gently. “She spins gold from the rubble, breaks away from all of her troubles. And she climbs, and she climbs, and she reaches for mountains of glory. She is glory. She is beauty. She is powerful, wonderful, swinging for the fences because she’s not going down without a fight. Step back stranger and watch out, she shines bright.”

When he finished the verse, Keyleth was staring at him in awe. Vax instantly felt subconscious. He wasn’t used to being so free with his voice, especially without his trusted guitar, but he really liked where Bright was going. It had a similar message to Phoenix, but it came from the heart and that made it true. He had written that part, obviously about Vex, while she had written the next lyrics about a boy who wore the shadows as a cloak until he finally chose the spotlight. 

“Vax, that was beautiful! I cannot wait for it to be done, and I absolutely must be the first person you send it to, okay? And that’s definitely not a request, it’s a demand. Everything you and Vex write is so powerful and deep. It’s beautiful.”

He gave her a small half-smile. “Thanks Keyleth, you’ll be the first on my list to know.”

She knocked their shoulders together and smiled brilliantly. “Good. Now let’s get to this game I made because you’re either going to love it or hate it and I can’t wait to see which one.”

-

A week later, and it was finally time for Keyleth’s video to release. Vax was hanging out at her apartment again as Keyleth finished lining it up in her queue. She clicked one more thing on her computer and looked up at him. 

“It’s ready!” 

Vax sat up from where he was sprawled on his couch. “Twitter time?” She nodded, snatching her phone and typing away. After a moment, Vax’s phone buzzed with the notification. He opened it so that he could retweet it and craft his own message.

Kiki @keylethashari • Just Now

It’s Variety Thursday again and I finally decided to talk music again and this time I brought on my friend @vaxmachina! Check it out and give Vox Machina’s channel a sub when you’re done! youtube.com/watch?v=huYiNbw 

He retweeted Keyleth’s message and wrote up his own tweet.

Vax @vaxmachina • Just Now

Made a video with @keylethashari the other day. There’s singing, some laughter, and some other good stuff. Check it out -> youtube.com/watch?v=huYiNbw 

Keyleth laughed and looked at him. “Eloquent, aren’t you?”

“Vex is the social media wizard, not me. Besides, it gets the meaning across, doesn’t it?” “Hm, I guess it does.” Keyleth paused heavily and held eye contact with him.

After several seconds of fighting off a smile, he cracked and they both burst into laughter. 

-

Vax got home much later that night than he’d intended. He had ended up helping Keyleth cook dinner as they goofed off and had a good time. He figured that Vex was either asleep or out with Percy so she wouldn’t mind him being out so he even let Keyleth talk him into watching the Little Mermaid with her before he finally headed home. 

He unlocked the door quietly and stepped into the apartment. “Vex’ahlia?” he called cautiously. 

There was no immediate response so he assumed that she was out somewhere. His assumption was almost immediately proven wrong as he stepped into the living room and saw her. She was sitting on the floor in front of the couch with a half-empty bottle of whiskey in her lap as she stared blankly at the wall. 

Vax cursed under his breath and hurried to her side, kneeling next to her. He grabbed the bottle from her and planted a hand on her shoulder. “Vex’ahlia, what are you doing?”

She snapped her head to him and tried to snag the bottle back, but he lifted it out of her reach. “Give it back, Vax,” she said sharply. 

He sank to the ground next to her. “Vex, talk to me, please,” he begged. “Something is going on, I know, but I can’t help unless you talk to me.”

“I don’t need your help. Just give me the damn bottle.”

“No. And I’m not going anywhere until you talk to me, so you can tell me or we’ll just sit here until we’re old and ugly.”

Vex was silent next to him. Vax didn’t say anything as he waited for her to speak. Something was definitely wrong and he needed her to open up to him so that he could help her. When she still said nothing, he exhaled slowly.

“Vex’ahlia, you’re my twin sister. I love you and I want to be there for you. When you’re hurting, I’m hurting too, so please, just talk to me.”

She exhaled shakily and looked at him. Her eyes were wet and full of shame. “Everything is going great, I’m just being stupid.”

He guided her face up so that she would look him in the eye. “Nothing you ever do is stupid, okay? Just talk to me.”

“It started on Instagram. We were just gaining momentum after Keyleth’s first video and I was feeling better than I had in a long time. This random account followed me and kept leaving these horrible comments and direct messaging me all of these hurtful things. It started out as just general insults, but they started hitting closer and closer to home until I realized the truth,” she broke off, her shoulders trembling. 

Vax hugged her tightly and she took a deep, calming breath. “The things that this account was saying were things they never should have known. Personal, dark things that I left behind in London.”

Vax knew what she was going to say next before she said it. “Saundor,” he breathed. “He’s been harassing you this whole time?”

She nodded mutely. “And I just couldn’t block him, couldn’t get him to stop, because every time I tried I would be back to that scared, horrible girl in London who couldn’t get out of a bad place until my entire world was turned upside down.”

“Vex’ahlia, look at me.” She did. “He is scum. Nothing he says carries value because you are radiant and beautiful and stronger than everything he could ever throw at you. He is the biggest blemish you’ll ever have on your life and it’s okay for that to still hurt. Your vulnerability is your strength because it makes you passionate and strong in the face of everything you’ve survived. We left him behind in London, and let me reaffirm for you, he is going to stay there.” She was trembling next to him, so he pulled her into a tight embrace, resting his head atop hers. “I love you so much, Stubby, and nothing he says will ever be true or make me think any less of you. I’m going to block him for you and if you want, I think we should go to the police to make sure he can’t get in contact with you again. But, if you aren’t ready, that can wait, and we can just focus on getting you sober and back to the radiant, wonderful woman that I know. The one we all know.” He kissed her hair. “Okay?”

“Okay,” she replied weakly. “I love you, Vax,” she murmured softly.

“I love you too, Vex, so, so much. Don’t ever forget that.”

He pushed the whiskey bottle to the side and ignored his phone as it vibrated with new messages on Twitter from his and Keyleth’s video. He hugged his sister tighter and murmured words of comfort until she felt safe enough to drift off. He would be there for her to make her feel safe and loved until she could step out of the dark, horrible shadow that Saundor had left on her life.

#the writing section #heartstrings #critical role #cr1 #c: vaxildan #c: vexahlia #c: keyleth #ship: vaxleth #ship: percahlia #words: 6.2k+ #g: romance #g: hurt/comfort #trigger warning: alcoholism #trigger warning: abusive relationship #fic: heartstrings #vaxleth #percahlia #vax'ildan #vex'ahlia #keyleth #percival de rolo

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 48

Tom remained at Wilcox Medical until July 11th, and I didn’t leave his side for more than a few minutes during the entirety of his stay…a navy-blue leather recliner to the left of his bed had served as my sleeping spot. Said sleep was elusive, as is the case with any hospital stay. It’s all a blur of doctors and nurses and machines and strange periods of quiet that turn into an assaultive dissonance on a dime. Detective Frye paid us a visit at the hospital the day before Tom was discharged in order to discuss his recollection of the incident, aspiring to fill in as many blanks remaining in the police report as possible. Since there was no one to prosecute, such matters were for the record only, but accurate information was essential in the event that a civil suit was filed by Claudia’s family. I was initially taken aback when Tom asked me to leave the room while he spoke with the detective, and it must have shown on my face because Tom quickly apologized and said he simply wasn’t ready for me to hear any of it, even though I might be ready to listen. Upon my return an hour later, Frye was gone and Tom was visibly upset, with an underlying anger reflected by the tension in his shoulders and the set of his jaw. Though it was a challenge, I didn’t pry, settling instead for squeezing his hand before I retired to my chair and sat in silence with him until he was ready to talk. And when he did, it was about everything and anything other than whatever it was that he’d just shared with a complete stranger.  

His recovery had gone smoothly, but we’d found ourselves taking what amounted to a forced vacation in a rented condo on Kauai, waiting for Tom to be cleared to fly to San Diego so he could, hopefully, arrive there in time to participate in the Kong Skull Island panel. Since we’d be in Australia for a large chunk of my pregnancy, I’d decided to choose an obstetrician there, and had managed to find one in London as well who was willing to follow along and take over once we returned home in mid-to-late November. That date was tentative at best since we weren’t sure what physical limitations or restrictions Tom would have nor how they’d affect the Ragnarok shooting schedule. I’d had a basic blood work-up and general physical exam at Wilcox, and when that turned out fine I opted to wait on a sonogram. It seemed silly, but I just didn’t want to forever associate the experience of seeing our progeny for the first time with…whatever the correct term for what we were going through was. Prog…that’s what we’d started calling the little bugger that was making me violently ill at least once a day. Short for progeny, with a ‘j’ sound. The Prog.

Diana, James and the rest of Tom’s family had headed home as soon as he’d been discharged, but Luke and Simon stuck around under the guise of not wanting to fly to London only to have to turn around and fly right back to the US again for SDCC. In reality, I knew the reason for them remaining was because they figured we’d need their companionship and assistance but wouldn’t want to ask for either, which was one-hundred percent correct. They’d taken on the task of finding the rental, packing up our belongings at the hotel and having them ready and waiting when we arrived. No one even asked if I wanted to do it myself, for which I was grateful, because there was no way I was going back there. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able go back there…just looking through our wedding pictures and videos pushed me to the edge of the ‘massive anxiety attack ahead’ cliff, and, in all honesty, I couldn’t wait to get the fuck off of Kauai. Remaining there seemed to make it impossible to process, to try to move forward. I’d begun having nightmares, as had Tom, but we didn’t speak of them in the daylight hours, nor in the dark of night. I knew that there was work to be done, that we needed to find a pathway to healing emotionally…but that didn’t seem possible until things in the physical realm were fully sorted.

Tom’s first follow-up appointment had taken place on the 13th, his second – and last – on the 18th. Dr. Salinas gave him clearance to travel and return to normal physical activity with some limitations…no running and no stunt work for thirty days. After that it would be business as usual, but for the next three months he’d need to self-monitor, and if he noticed any pain or atypical shortness of breath he was to head to the nearest medical facility immediately. Copies of all related paperwork would be sent to the proper department at Marvel for review, and the new shooting schedule emailed once it had been established. Since he was fine to do a majority of planned scenes, it was likely only three weeks or so of actual filming time would be lost. Which was bad enough, but…could have been worse. So much worse. I wondered if I’d always think that way, and if it wasn’t actually a bad way to evaluate one’s current situation. All things should seem less horrible when you pause to consider what’s worse, in theory. I decided to file it under ‘convenient diversionary tactics to avoid dealing with life’, mainly because my pondering had been interrupted by another round of heaving up the contents of my stomach.

All four of us shared a charter to San Diego on the 21st, heading directly from the airport to the same hotel we’d stayed in the year before via a car service. Stepping out of the black Dodge Durango and onto the pavement was surreal…a mix of reporters, media, and attendees thrilled to be among their people again were all around us, and we were paid little to no mind until we entered the lobby. There were stares, pointing, and whispering as well as several shouts from well-wishers. While it was a bit overwhelming after spending so much time in a private setting, the positive energy emanating from those within our space reminded me that there were likely some folks who’d been concerned about us and had been sending along that same energy from a distance via social media. I hadn’t looked, and neither had Tom, but now was probably the time to investigate and at least post a simple thank you if nothing else. I didn’t want to, but it seemed rude not to, so I added it to my mental to-do list.

After check-in we took the elevator up to our floor, and when the doors opened I could feel my body tense at the sight of the narrow hallway. Tom and I stepped out into it, leaving Luke and Simon behind as their room was two floors above us. We walked to our room, the third one on the left, and when I turned to face the door a vision of Claudia knocking on it froze me in place. Once Tom completed sliding the keycard and swung the door inward the contents of the room were clearly visible, and though slow to process the data, my brain cycled logically…not Kauai, different place, dead Claudia, all clear…and I managed to step forward and inside. The door shut behind me with a loud click, and I flinched, then headed for the bathroom. Tom had pulled out his phone and begun talking to someone I assumed was either Jordan or a fellow cast member about the panel’s structure and content. He was still engaged in conversation when I emerged a few minutes later, standing in front of the window that overlooked the city. The setting sun, now at its lowest visible point on the horizon, had created a halo effect that surrounded his upper body, and in that moment, I felt like myself again…normal, even. My version of normal, anyway. And then, there was a knock on the door, and I panicked, whimpering quietly because that’s all my body would permit. Tom didn’t realize anything was awry at first, only turning around when the knocking continued. He took one look at my face, tossed his phone on the bed, and walked quickly to stand in front of me as he loudly stated to whomever was out in the hallway that he’d be right there.

He took my face in his hands ever so carefully, trying his best to keep himself even-keeled for my benefit. “It’s okay. It’s probably just our luggage. I’ll go see, and I promise I’ll leave the bolt on until I’m certain. All right?”

I nodded, watching him from the foot of the bed, unconsciously clenching my hands into fists as I waited for something terrible to unfold. As the door opened my heart began to pound like mad, and when I saw the luggage dolly I sat down, elbows on my knees and my head in my hands…relieved, but confused and embarrassed by my behavior. I heard the door close again, then felt Tom’s weight shift the mattress as he sat beside me. I lifted my head slowly as he slipped his arm around my shoulders. I wanted to say something but I didn’t know where or how to begin, and since he remained silent I assumed he felt the same way. Though it felt wrong to judge so quickly, this was becoming a pattern, and it made me uncomfortable across the board. We hadn’t been intimate since the night before the public wedding ceremony and learning that I was pregnant, and it felt petty and selfish to even be thinking about not having fucked my husband in three weeks when I’d almost lost him forever, but I missed him, missed the reinforcement of the connection between us sex provided, all of it. It had been officially off the table until the restrictions Dr. Salinas had imposed were lifted, and while I’d been expecting to get back to it right away his expectations clearly differed. To be honest, he’d expressed no interest in it whatsoever. I didn’t know what to make of it, and it was another instance of me saying nothing because I had no clue as to what I should say, if anything. I’d also caught him looking at me on multiple occasions while wearing an expression of guilt and/or regret and again, said nothing. A pattern indeed, and an awful one that I was unsure how to break free of, other than being patient until it ran its course. Lord knew he’d been ceaselessly patient with me all along the way, the situation he’d just navigated serving as a prime example. Was that the right way to handle this? Fuck if I knew. What I did know that I was exhausted, and softly announced that I was going to try to get some rest. He kissed the top of my head, rose and began to unpack our luggage as I undressed and crawled under the covers. As I lay there, I realized that it wasn’t only him who hadn’t revealed the details of their experience that day…neither had I. Yet, he’d known the circumstances, enough, at least, to know someone knocking at the door was something I might now find frightening. Had he watched a video of the press conference? Discussed it with Luke or Simon? Or, perhaps, Detective Frye? I sat up, intending to broach the subject, but found myself trapped between needing resolution and wanting to avoid causing him any additional pain. His voice startled me.

“Maude? You okay?”

I stood, nodding. “Tired, but can’t sleep. Gonna take a shower and see if that helps.”

As I walked past him, he set the shirts in his hand down on the dresser in order to reach out for me, pulling me to his chest and kissing the top of my head again, then releasing me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The carry-on that contained my toiletries was on the floor near him, and I stooped to pick it up and brought it with me into the bathroom. After closing the door behind me, I started to cry. I cried as I unpacked what I needed. I cried as I turned on the water, I cried as I shampooed my hair, I cried as I rinsed it, I cried as I soaped myself and rinsed again, and I cried as I dried myself off and hung the towel back on the rack. My eyes were red when I glanced at my reflection, so I wet a washcloth with cold water and held it over them for several minutes then checked myself out again. Not ideal, but acceptable. I blew my nose, then walked back out into the room. Tom had finished unpacking and was sitting at the room’s desk, laptop open in front of him. He looked up at me, smiling.

“Better?”

“I think so.” I put my hands on my naked hips. “You coming to bed?”

“Not yet…going over a few things for the panel tomorrow. Will it keep you awake if I’m working?”

I shook my head as I allowed my hands to drop to my sides. “I don’t think so. I can always put my earbuds in and listen to music if it does.”

“Okay. I can’t imagine I’ll be at this for more than an hour, honestly, so I’ll be joining you soon. Get some sleep, my love.”

“Okay.” I returned to my tangle of sheets and blankets, my damp hair clinging to my neck, my back turned to him. There was, of course, no sleep to be had, though I pretended to be out cold when he finally settled in beside me two hours later. Once I was positive he was asleep, I got up, put on my robe, pulled out my own laptop and sat at the desk he’d recently vacated to do my own work. Which didn’t require much effort, as the only pressing task on my list was the Skype interview I had set with Chad Morrison for the New York Times tomorrow at 1 PM. I reviewed the most recent Manageall stats Trudy had sent me, created a bullet-point list, then spent the next few hours surfing around checking out random things that I thought might hold my interest and, perhaps, entertain me. I woke up in a puddle of drool with my hand beneath my head resting on the desk, my browser still open and displaying an article entitled ‘Gentle Yoga For A Better Birth’. The system clock read 6:17 AM, and a quick glance at the bed confirmed Tom was still sleeping. I stood, removed my robe, hit the bathroom and then slipped in beside him, waiting for him to awaken and for the day to begin. A new location, a full schedule, little time to dwell…and, hopefully, all of that would amount to first steps down that pathway we needed to traverse.

***************************************

SDCC had gone off without a hitch…everyone was incredibly respectful, and kind. I don’t know why I would have expected anything else, other than that little voice I kept hearing inside my head whispering things like ‘they know it’s all your fault’. My interview with Chad had been published on July 25th, and by the time we arrived on the Gold Coast in Queensland on the 28th Manageall had surpassed the ten thousand subscriber mark. That kept me busy over the next week as I scrambled from our rental house just outside of Oxenford to remotely help Trudy configure new servers and ensure that the system could handle three times our existing traffic, just in case. Five new employees were added within the space of two days, and all but one stayed on board despite being thrown into the fray with little to no training. Ten-thousand plus subscribers was A Big Deal…aka the amount that tipped our monthly gross revenue over the million-dollar mark. It was a milestone that warranted a discussion, one which Luke and I decided to have in person once I returned to London.

Tom had begun filming at Village Roadshow Studios on July 30th, waking each morning at 4 AM, leaving by 4:30 and returning home each night well after 10 PM, showering, then falling into bed exhausted. To make up for lost time, the shooting schedule would be six days a week until a temporary relocation to Brisbane happened in late August. My schedule mirrored his, mainly in order to account for the 9-hour time difference between Queensland and London. When I’d contact Trudy or Luke at 5 AM my time, it was 8 PM the night before where they were. A mindfuck, truly, and it meant I was done working every day by 11 AM at the latest, which left me with entirely too much time to think. Things between Tom and I were still as they were back in San Diego…no conversations about the incident, no sex. Every day had begun to represent another brick being added to the wall building between us. There was no animosity, we still talked about a broad spectrum of other things, still slept in the same bed, but there was a sense of necessitated cautiousness and a distance that hadn’t been there before.

The obstetrician I’d chosen, Dr. Bresden, practiced out of Brisbane, and my first appointment was scheduled for 1 PM on August 15th. The drive up would take about an hour or so, but we figured we’d leave at 11 and allow ourselves some extra time. If my guess as to when I’d conceived was correct, I’d reached the 13-week mark, possibly the 14th, and over the past eight days I hadn’t puked once, which was both awesome and anxiety inducing. Did it mean I was progressing normally, or was, you know, something WRONG? The evening before the sonogram was rough…I was obsessing over the morning sickness waning, and my nightmares had gotten continually worse, to the point wherein I began to dread going to sleep. We’d gone out to dinner with Chris and Elsa, who decided it was time to share their horror stories about child-rearing and childbirth now that Tom and I were official pledges to the Paternity Fraternity. I bitched about it the entire way home, then continued to complain about it after we’d arrived back at the rental house until I thought I heard Tom sigh heavily, at which point I had to decide whether or not to flip the fuck out or let it pass. Since I couldn’t be totally sure, and also because I could readily admit I had one foot over the cray-cray side of the fence, I let it go and we turned in for the night.

The next thing I knew, I was screaming, Tom was yelling, and my hands hurt like a motherfucker. I took stock of my surroundings and realized I was standing in front of the closed bedroom door. Looking down, I saw knuckles that were bruised and bloodied, as were the pinky-sides of my hands. When I looked back up and left and my gaze met Tom’s, my screaming stopped and his yelling ceased, replaced with a loud gasp of relief that was nearly a sob.

“What the fuck HAPPENED? I was asleep. How am I here? I don’t understand.” I reached out and touched the door with a fingertip, searching for confirmation that this was, in fact, reality, and as soon as I pressed down a jolt of pain hit my brain and I…remembered, my body twisting so I could face Tom.

“The Marriott, but…not the real Marriott. I was in the hallway, and you were dead, right there on the floor, and she was dead next to you, and I was just staring and staring and then she moved. She moved. And then she sat up, and she had the gun and she said ‘did you really think you were getting out of here alive’ and then she stood up and it was like something out of the Walking Dead, her eyes were all filmy and when she opened her mouth I could see right through because the back of her head was just…gone. And I turned around and ran down the hall and I tried all the room doors but they were all locked and then I got to the end of the hall and where there should have been stairs there was a door, a metal door, and the handle moved up and down like it was open but it wouldn’t open and I kept looking back over my shoulder and she was moving so slowly, but I couldn’t get the door to open and down at the other end of the hall was just a wall. She talked again and said she was going to wait until she got close to me to pull the trigger because she wanted to watch, she wanted to see…and I screamed for help, for someone to let me out, but no one came and I started to pound on the door, first with the sides of my fists, but then I started to punch it because she kept getting closer and the she touched me, her hand was on my shoulder and I swung around and punched her in the face and I thought she was going to fall down but she didn’t and then I tried to grab the gun but she wouldn’t let go and I went back to hitting the door and jiggling the handle but I knew I was going to die and then…then I…I was here…”

It felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest, and as I reached out to touch Tom to make sure I really wasn’t still inside a nightmare I noticed that the left side of his jaw was reddish-purple and that it was streaked with blood. My hands rose in an instant to cover my mouth, and when I spoke my voice was muffled and garbled.

“Oh my god, I hit YOU, didn’t I? Not her. YOU.” I lowered my hands, briefly assessing their condition once more and realizing that the blood on his face was most likely from my knuckles. “Oh my god. Tom, I’m so sorry…so sorry…are you okay? Jesus fucking CHRIST. What ELSE did I do? What is WRONG with me?!”

He stepped forward and embraced me, rubbing my back in slow circles and rocking me gently until he felt my heart rate returned to normal. Pulling back, he placed his hands on my upper arms, eyes focused on mine. “There’s nothing wrong with you. That was a night terror. I knew the risk of intervening…you’re never supposed to, but I couldn’t just stand aside and…anyway. I’m fine. How are you feeling?”

I shrugged, shaking my head back and forth slowly.

“I know. I’m so very sorry, Maude. First things first…those knuckles of yours need to be cleaned, And, we both could use some ice. Will you come to the kitchen with me? We’ll get that bit sorted, and then we can figure out what’s next. All right?” I nodded, and he stepped back, leaving one arm around my waist. He unlocked the bedroom door, opened it, then led me to the counter that held the undermounted stainless steel sink. We were both nude, and as he leaned forward to open the tap and set the right temperature with his free hand I felt the brush of his pubic hair across my hip, then again as he pulled back and released me in order to go find a clean kitchen towel. More than a year ago in New Orleans I’d had a brief case of performance anxiety after he’d revealed his full sexual history, but this, this was the first time ever that being naked in his presence made me feel uncomfortable. It was more than that, really…I felt self-conscious and exposed. I wrapped my arms around myself, and when he returned to my side I spoke, my chin lowered to my chest as I stared down at the water circling the drain.

“Would you mind getting me my robe?”

He placed two tan and white towels on the counter. “No, not at all…shall I turn the thermostat up a few degrees as well?”

I shook my head. “No thank you. I’m not cold.”

He hesitated, and I said nothing, continuing to stare. I heard his bare feet padding across the tile, the sound fading as he entered the bedroom. Upon the resumption of the sound I forced myself to lift my head and turn to look at him as he drew closer. In his hands was my black silk robe, and when I noticed he’d put on his navy-blue running shorts it dawned on me that by saying I wasn’t cold I’d clued him in as to what was on my mind, at least in part. He held the garment open so I could slip into it easily, his eyes averted as I carefully worked my arms through the sleeves. Though it wasn’t exactly pleasant, I tied the belt on my own. The water was still running, and he reached in and dipped his index finger into the stream.

“That feels all right to me.” His voice was nearly toneless, any emotion present seeming somehow forced. He reached for my right wrist, then paused, eyes asking for permission when I met his gaze. I nodded, then turned to watch as his hand encircled my wrist and guided my knuckles slowly into the streaming water. When I winced at the intensity of the stinging he spoke again, voice now trembling.

“I’m sorry.” He patted my right hand dry ever-so-gently, then moved on to my left. I winced again as the water made contact, noting that Tom’s own hands had begun to shake. By the time he’d dried my left hand off with the second towel, his entire body was quivering, and at that point I realized he was weeping. My head jerked upward and I swiveled my torso so I could see his face. He looked down and away, holding his hand up palm out toward me as he strode rapidly into the living room. I followed, and when I came to rest directly in front of him he spun around, leaving me with a view of his bare shoulders and back contorting as he sobbed.

This was it, then…the tipping point. Seeing him this way overrode my own emotional disarray, and I couldn’t imagine that anything I might say would make the situation worse, so I went all in.

“Tom. We need to talk.” He shook his head, and I gingerly placed my hand on his upper back between his shoulder blades. “Tom.” The contact was broken by him taking two steps forward. “Okay, no touching. That’s fine. But…”

He spun back around, blinking to clear his vison. “You want to touch me?”

“Of course I want to touch you. Why wouldn’t I want to touch you?”

His arms rose from his sides, bent at the elbow with his hands extended, fingers splayed and pointing in my direction as he looked me up and down. “Since you don’t want me to see you, I’m assuming you’d prefer that I also don’t touch you, which leads me to believe you’d prefer to not see or touch me, either.”

“That’s an incorrect assumption all around. I’d prefer it if you did touch me. But you haven’t, not in the way I’d expect you to, and you’ve given me no indication as to why you haven’t, which has caused me to assume that you’re no longer interested in me sexually, which has ultimately resulted in my feeling self-conscious and exposed when standing naked in your presence. Is my assumption as off base as yours?” Not an easy question to ask, that one. I hadn’t thought it through and wondered what the fuck would happen if he said no.

He nodded repeatedly. “Yes. It is. Completely.”

I lifted my arms and extended them outward at shoulder height, palms to the ceiling. “And that’s precisely why we need to talk, Tom. Ow.” Down went the arms, though it didn’t really do a whole hell of a lot for the throbbing ache in my hands. “We’ve avoided this conversation for far too long…instead we danced around the subject in an effort to prevent causing each other any additional pain. But that didn’t work. That never works, and I know that, but here we are…staring at each other across an ever-widening chasm which will eventually grow too vast to bridge. This distance, this disconnect…it’s awful. I’ve seen the pain in your eyes, and the anger, the guilt, the regret…and there’s my own shit I need to talk about…but I’ve stayed silent for fear of hurting you and I don’t want to do that anymore, Tom. I don’t think I CAN do it anymore.” There were two beige micro-fiber chairs on one side of the living room, and a matching couch on the other. We were standing between them, and I sat down at one end of the sofa. Tom hesitated at the other end briefly, then decided to sit in the middle, right by my side, and began to speak.

“I’m afraid. It terrifies me, the thought of my lung collapsing again. What if the next time I’m not so fortunate? What if it kills me, and you’re left here alone, and our child grows up without ever knowing me? All day long, with everything I do that’s even remotely physical, I’m aware of every breath that seems even remotely atypical, every twinge of the muscles in my torso. I’ve been counting down and focusing on the three-month marker because that’s when the risk of it happening again decreases to align with the norm. I’ve promised myself that then, that’s it, there’s no further need to worry, that I can let it go. I want to let it go. I hope I can let it go. But that’s why I haven’t…we haven’t. I wouldn’t want you to have to live with that, us loving each other being the end of me. And I should have told you. I should have. And I’m sorry. There’s another reason as well, and it’s a completely irrational fear but it feels real, and present. I’m sure it’s relative in some fashion to my past loss, but…I…”

Thinking in such a macabre and medieval-esque fashion was not Tom’s style, and that his mind had gone there was indicative of what a mess he’d been, and I was both impressed with and distressed by how well he’d managed it all from me. “You’re afraid that if we have sex I might have a miscarriage.”

He turned to face me, nodding. “It’s ludicrous. This I know. It’s not specifically that sex would be the cause, but if such a thing were to happen within close proximity of the act…and Maude, I just…I…I feel like death is just…it’s always lurking…even on set, you know? Loki’s role in Ragnarok is redemptive, there’s a comprehensive resolution, and he finally is able to ascertain his place in the universe and be at peace with it, and perhaps begin to experience happiness, or at least contentment…but I know what awaits him, that this moment for him is fleeting at best and I can’t help but see parallels there to my own reality.” Pausing, he rested his head in his hands, then moved them slowly back to his lap as he turned sideways, right leg bent with his knee on the couch resting centimeters from my left thigh. I shifted to mirror his position as he swallowed hard before continuing.

“I was mid-way through my run when I saw her. She waved at me as if her being there was perfectly normal. It made my blood boil, and instead of having the wherewithal to get back to the hotel as quickly as possible I approached her. I asked her what the fuck she was doing there, and told her she needed to leave immediately or she’d wind up with a police escort off the property. The mask of a friendly greeting fell away and she said ‘How could you let her to this to me, Tom? Let her ruin my life? I did what I had to do so she couldn’t trap you, and instead of being grateful you let her lie about me to the world, and then you married her. You married her, when you know how much I love you. And you love me. We belong together, you know that. She’s brainwashed you, that’s what’s going on here. She’s trying to keep us apart, and you can’t just roll over and and let it happen. Tom, come with me right now. We’ll run away and be happy, you and me, just us. Please. You have to come with me.’ And I told her I would do no such thing, that not only did I not love her, I regretted every moment I’d spent with her and that I wished I’d never met her, that I wished I could go back in time and tell her to get the fuck away from me when she crawled under the table to suck my dick. That whenever I thought about having fucked her it made me physically ill. And then I told her I was so lucky and so blessed that in spite of the mistakes I’d made I’d found you, that I’d never loved anyone like you before, and I never would again. Her response was that this was all your fault, that you’d stolen me away from her, and that if she couldn’t have me, no one would…and that’s when she pulled the gun out of the gift bag and shot me. The pain knocked me down and back and I fell onto the sand, and she put the gun back in the bag and said she really thought she wouldn’t need to use it, but I was too far gone and you were to blame. And that if she was going to have to pay for her crimes, you’d have to pay for yours too. She smiled at me, knelt down in the sand, kissed my check, said goodbye, then got up and took off running down the beach toward the hotel. I sat up, and the pain…and the blood…but I had to go after her. Each step I took seemed an eternity, and I couldn’t run, but I needed to get to you. I realized I’d never catch her, and that I was close to Luke and Simon’s room, so I began to walk that way. And then I crawled. But it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t get to you. I set all this in motion, there in that moment. I let my anger get the best of me and we both almost died because of it. In LA, when she threw the highball glass at you…I should have known. Up until that moment I was her focus, and she still believed that her and I would have a relationship at some point. You were just a minor inconvenience, a bump in the road. When she discovered that you knew about the videos…that’s where the shift happened. You became her target, the one to blame. I didn’t see it. I should have seen it. Having you speak at the press conference instead of handling it on my own was akin to painting a bullseye on your chest. And when you needed me most, when I should have been the one to face the monster I’d invited into my orbit, I wasn’t there for you, or for our child. I wasn’t there, Maude. I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t save you. I wasn’t THERE.”

For the first time in a long while…since our wedding day, really…I saw him…really saw him. Because he’d finally let me see him again. Sitting before me was a man so burdened by guilt and sorrow that he had no tears left to cry…an anxious, exhausted, depressed, defeated man positively teeming with self-loathing. My husband. A rush of pure, unadulterated love washed over me followed by an irrepressible urge to comfort him and banish all his fears that resulted in my reaching out and taking his hands in my damaged own, oblivious to the pain.

“Tom. No one sees this kind of thing coming. This is the stuff of late-night crime dramas and tragic Oscar-bait films. There was no way for you to know. I didn’t know, either…and believe me, I’ve beaten myself up for it, too. I’m the one who got in her face in LA and spouted off about prison. And no one ‘had’ me do anything…I stood at that podium of my own volition and called her bluff. I knew she’d be pissed, and I did it not only in spite of that fact, but, at least in a small way, because of it. The blame for that falls squarely on my shoulders. But what she did…no, Tom. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault…that’s all on her. It was her choice. Her decision. And she was too much of a coward to answer for it. And even though I know all that, the logic behind it, I still feel guilty about how I handled all of it every day…and I thought you’d distanced yourself because you blamed me. Do you blame me?”

He shook his head, voice barely a whisper. “No. I thought the same…do you blame me?”

“No. I do not. I have not. Not even for a second. And there’s something else you need to know, Tom.” Those blue eyes full of trepidation met my brown ones. “You’re right about not being there…but you’re wrong about not protecting me, and you’re wrong about not being able to save me. When I opened that door and she was standing in the hallway, I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move. I watched the gun rise higher and higher and inside my head I was screaming ‘close the door, close the door’ but I couldn’t and then that faded and the only thought I had left was ‘she’s going to shoot me now’. And then I heard a man’s voice shouting for her to drop her weapon, and that broke the spell. That voice is the reason why I was able to get the door closed. That voice is the reason why those three bullets lodged in the door and not in my flesh. The man that voice belonged to? Police officer. And why was he there in exactly that place at precisely that time? Because you sent him, Tom. You sent him upstairs. You gave him the room number. You told him to go, GO! And he went.  If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you on the couch right now…so I don’t ever want to hear you say you couldn’t protect me or that you couldn’t save me ever again. You might not have been by my side when it happened, but you saved my life and our child’s life all the same. And you risked your own life to do it, Tom. Dr. Salinas said if you’d have stayed still your lung wouldn’t have fully collapsed so quickly. But you didn’t stay still. You got up over and over again and kept going and being in restraints couldn’t even stop you. You almost died that day in order to make sure we didn’t. Do you understand that? You almost died. To save your family. If that’s not protecting what you love, then I don’t know what the fuck IS.”

When our eyes met his lower lip began to quiver and I tightened my grip on his hands. “That day, outside the recovery room, Dr. Salinas…she said that she couldn’t explain why you made it through so well…why you lived. She didn’t phrase it quite that way, but that was the gist of it. But I know why. When you got word that I was alive, that I was unharmed…you went to war. You waged a battle with the final enemy. And you were victorious. You returned to me, to us. You fought death that day and you won, Tom. You came back. You came home.”

His gaze turned toward our joined hands a he positioned his left ring finger so it was next to mine, the silver bands that bound us clinking softly together in the silence. He looked back up at me, the right corner of his mouth having curled upward in a half-smile, tears tracking down his cheeks and through his stubble like tiny pachinko balls. “When I promised to never let you go, I meant it.”

I began to sob then, as did Tom. He pulled me onto his lap, my bottom nestled between his thighs, legs sideways, feet resting on the cushion I’d just vacated. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, the right around my shoulders, hand cradling my head and pressing it gently to his left shoulder. He rocked us back and forth, side to side, his face buried in my hair. When the weeping ceased, I ran my right thumb along the base of his left one, that oddly sensual spot of flesh which allows lovers to steal moments of secret erotic pleasure in full view of the world. As he began to do the same in turn, there it was…a spark of the energy within us both demanding to be set free so it could unite each with the other’s and light our collective world ablaze. I raised my head to take stock of his expression, wondering if he felt it as well. His tongue snaked across his lips and I inhaled sharply, which earned me a an ecstatic eyeroll and a pelvic thrust from him, his cock hard against my ass. He kissed me then, both our mouths open from the start. There was no finesse in any of it, all tongues and saliva and clashing of teeth as he undid my robe and cupped my left breast in his right hand, thumb stroking back and forth over my nipple. His touch caused me to gasp and cant my hips, and I could feel his body tensing…whether it was with fear or desire, I couldn’t be certain. I removed his hand from my breast and stood up, then turned to face him as I let my robe drop from my shoulders and fall to the floor. Leaning forward, I placed my hands on his shoulders and stared into his eyes, again unsure of whether it was lust or terror at hand.  

“Tom, honey…please don’t put any pressure on yourself. It’s okay if you’re afraid. I understand. Now that I know why…I’m fine. Take your time with this. Please.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me forward and down, his words nearly a growl. “I’m afraid I’ve reached the point wherein the chances of me dying are far greater if I can’t have you right now as opposed to any other scenario.” He looked up at me and for a second or two I would have sworn it was Loki whose eyes I saw, but then Tom was back where he belonged, expression now pleading. “Will you ride me?”

I nodded, placing one knee on either side of his lap. He didn’t even bother with removing his shorts, instead pushing back the elastic just enough to allow him to reach in and free his cock. When the head of it connected with my wetness we both groaned. I shifted forward so he was poised at my entrance but paused before welcoming him inside, needing assurance that he was certain about taking this step.

“Are you sure this is okay?”

He answered without hesitation, voice thick with desire. “Yes. I’m sure. I want you. I need you. I need to be inside you. Yes.”

I lowered myself onto his cock, relishing in the feel of it stretching me, filling me…of how it melded two separate beings into a combined entity that pulsed with unified power and unequaled pleasure. Tom’s head had lolled back onto the back of the couch, eyes closed, his elegant neck and jawline demanding attention from my tongue as I began to circle my hips. I was careful to avoid the bruised area, licking around and down until I reached the hollow of his collarbone, and the whine such ministrations elicited caused my unhurried gyrating to turn to a forceful, rapid rise and fall. His eyes opened, head lifting off the couch as he reached around to take hold of my ass cheeks, one in each hand, pulling outward.

“Maude. Oh Maude. MAUDE. Don’t stop please don’t stop I love you I love you I love you…” His lips found mine, tongue thrusting into my mouth as I rode him harder until he came, his breath and mine one and the same as his come painted my walls in a continuous gush of warm spurts that I thought might go on forever. His index finger found my clit and I orgasmed instantly, clenching and squeezing around him as if my body was insistent on locking him in place, an idea I thoroughly supported. It wasn’t until he broke the kiss and that I noticed he was panting, and I took his face in my hands, the past minutes eclipsed by a deep-seated concern for his well-being.

“Are you okay? Can you breathe? Do you have any pain? Tom?”

He inhaled, then exhaled, smiling softly. “No pain. Nothing unusual, just the normal effect being incredibly well fucked by my gorgeous wife has on me. I’m fine.” His smile faded, replaced with an expression of concern likely similar to the one he’d seen me wearing seconds before. “How are you? Everything okay?”

I nodded. “Yep. I’m good. Exhausted, but good. And all of a sudden I really, really want salt and vinegar potato chips. Like, bad. They have those here, right? Man…I can almost taste them…wow, this is…”

His smile returned as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, our chests pressed together. “That sounds like it might be a craving. I believe I’m obligated to dress and head out now, in the middle of the night, to track down your snack of choice and bring it home posthaste.”

Though I admittedly salivated at the thought, my body’s need for sleep overrode what was in essence just a ‘want’. “As much as I appreciate your willingness to do so…no. The only place you’re going is back to bed with me. If you’re willing to risk round two, that is.” His left eyebrow rose, a small smirk that for some ridiculous reason made me blush appearing on his face. I rolled my eyes in an effort to distract him from the pink-hued heat that I could feel reaching my cheeks. “I meant round two as in a boxing match. You know, because I punched you? Round of boxing.”

He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. “Oh goodness me…it appears I’ve got a blushing bride on my hands. Well, technically, on my cock, but…”

I covered my face with my hands as I shook my head. “Do you always have to notice EVERY LITTLE THING Tom? Seriously.”

He pulled my hands away carefully and kissed my forehead. “It’s adorable. Reminds me of the day we met…when we were in Kauai Pasta. You were sipping your soda and I watched the flush spread from your chest up your neck and that’s when you took too big a sip and began to choke.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, you saw that? I was, like, half-joking about you noticing every little thing. Christ in a sidecar.”

Shrugging, he brought my left hand to his lips and placed a kiss in the center of my palm. “In my defense, I was bewitched. Mesmerized by your beauty, your essence…your everything. And I’ve always wondered what you were thinking of in that moment…”

“Oh you have, have you? Allow me to fill you in then. The server had just asked us if we wanted cocktails and I thought hmm, I wonder how that particular compound word came to be and that led me to…your cock, Tom. I was thinking about your cock.”

His brow furrowed, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “No you were not.”

I nodded, lips pressed together, eyes wide. “Oh, but yes I was. And, like, I’ve never STOPPED thinking about it so…you know, here we are.”

He roared with laughter, and I realized that it had been entirely far too long since I’d heard that sound, which made me tear up because that laugh…it was akin to a hymn, at least when it fell upon my ears, and my god, how I’d missed it. How I’d missed him.  When he noticed that not only had I not joined in but was visibly upset he guided my head to rest on his shoulder, one hand wound in my hair and the other rubbing my back as he whispered softly.

“Maude, it’s all right. I understand that you may be sad, or angry…whatever it is you’re feeling, I’m here for you. I’m so very, very sorry I haven’t been. But I am now. I’ll help you through all of it. I know it won’t always be easy, for either of us, but we can do it. Together. Together, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

I lifted my head and leaned back, reaching up to trace his jawline with my right index finger. “I’m not sad, really…and I’m not angry…it’s just…I just…I missed you.” I gestured down to where we remained joined. “I missed this. That’s probably selfish and stupid but you…you’re a part of me and this is when you’re MOST a part of me and…and…I’m very, very sorry too. I wasn’t there for you, either. And you’re right about it not always being easy, because this is the big leagues of fuckery. I’m afraid of closed doors and…hello, night terrors. Sometimes it’s hard to be grateful when you’re overwhelmed by fear, but I know for sure I need to turn my focus toward what’s good, and there really, truly is an astonishing abundance of good, isn’t there? I’m here, you’re here, Prog will be here too soon enough…we are blessed, and it’s true…together, there’s nothing we can’t do. I love you. So much. So, so much. My god, we’re having a baby. It still doesn’t seem real…”

He smiled. “I have a sneaking suspicion that after your appointment tomorrow it will seem very, VERY real. In just a few hours, we’re going to get to see Prog. It’s…it’s…”

My eyes squeezed shut. “You mean my appointment this morning. Yikers, it’s so late it’s early and we haven’t slept and between your jaw and my knuckles we’re going to look like we had a knock-down drag out fight, but yes, WE ARE GOING TO SEE PROG.”

He lifted me by my hips, his semi-soft cock slipping out of me, then shifted me sideways so he could pick me up as he rose off the couch. “Off to bed we go, my love.” He carried me into the bedroom and placed me gently on my preferred half of the mattress, then climbed in behind me. “I love you, Maude Hiddleston. Sleep now. I’ll be right here, watching over you. Over you both.”

And I slept. It was fitful, and there were dreams…bad ones…but each time I woke from one, he was there, one arm around my waist, one leg atop both my own…warm and alive, and in that I found peace. Whenever he stirred, and he did often, I’d press my body backward into him and pull his arm tighter around me, stroking it with my fingertips until he stilled again, hopefully having found a peace of his own. The dawn came and went, the alarm began its electronic bleating at 10 AM, and we staggered to the shower hand in hand…gripping loosely, as I was still hurting, though not as much as I thought I would be. By the time we’d finished washing each other, the excitement in the air around us was palpable. Though I was still anxious about the appointment with Dr. Bresden, this was it, the moment. I patted my belly as I was drying the underside of my boobs.

“Hi in there, Prog. Big day today. Mamma and Daddy get to see you. Feel free to wave and stuff, okay? We love you.” Tom gasped, and I turned to look at him. One hand was over his mouth, and his eyes shone with tears. I tilted my head. “What?”

“I don’t…have you…I don’t think I’ve heard you do that before.”

“I have…but maybe not out loud? I think…probably only in my head. Huh. I really don’t know…”

He knelt before me on the tile, first kissing then addressing my stomach. “Prog, you are indeed loved. We can’t wait to see you, and before you know it you’ll be our here in the world with us, and we can’t wait for that, either. To share our lives with you…you, Mamma and me…our little family.” As he stood he wiped away his tears with the back of his left hand, grinning at me. “So…Mamma, then?”

Shrugging, I shook my head back and forth several times. “What can I say? Looks like my New Orleans is showing. It just sounded…”

“Perfect. It sounds perfect, Mamma.” He said it with a drawl, and I sighed.

“Godammit, Tom. That’s not supposed to be sexy.”

His grin widened. “Why not? You’re sexy, so logically...”

“Shut up with your logic.”

“As you wish, my love. Breakfast here or on the road?”

“On the road. Make it a double.”

He embraced me. “We’re off to view a miracle. What a thing.”

“It is. It so is.”

#your light in the mist #chapter 48

[seanbonner]

New Blog Post: Happy Accidents, a post about the Doughboys

I’ve been listening to a lot of Doughboys recently. Out of the blue about 2 months ago, for no reason at all one of their songs popped into my head and inspired me to go dig up the albums. This is always a dangerous prospect because when you remember liking a band that you haven’t heard in a very long time sometimes the memory is better than the real thing and when you go revisit them later in life they just don’t hold up. I’ve ruined a handful of childhood favorites by listening to them with a critical adult ear. Luckily, Doughboys held up and have been on almost constant repeat since I put the files onto my phone so I could walk around with them. Listening to these songs again has been really interesting for me beyond just rediscovering some music I used to like.

In 1991 when I was 16 I went to a show to see a band called the Doughboys who had some members from The Asexuals though I didn’t really know what they sounded like. The show I’m thinking of was at a venue called Janus Landing so I knew I could get in free via any number of means, and important consideration for 16 year old me growing up in the middle of Florida. There was a secret back alley entrance next to a sandwich shop that had a fence I could jump, if I got there early enough I could grab a piece of gear and carry it in walking right through the front door with a purpose. There was a guy named Fred who always set up a table inside selling records and I knew I could act like I was helping him carry things in too. Or in the worse case I could find Tony who was the promoter of the show and beg. Looking back now there is no way he didn’t know I was sneaking in to all his shows, but never once gave me any trouble for it and helped me out in many ways over the years. But that’s a different story.

One way or another I’d get in. And the funny thing about doing this kind of reminiscing in 2019 is that in some cases someone actually has the event on video and has posted it to YouTube. The quality is questionable, but I’m certain that one of the heads bouncing around in front of the stage in this is mine. My friends and I all looked the same so it’s hard to pinpoint, but I dead center in the front for this entire show.

That was a long lead up to the main point that at this show I completely fell in love with this band. Their crazy long dreadlocks, poppy as shit songs and overall attitude was incredibly refreshing at the time. And added bonus was that at this show they were selling a purple long sleeve T-shirt giant yellow writing on the back that read “I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY.” It was a favorite of mine for years. This tour was just after their “When Up Turns To Down” but the first record I bought of their was their then most recent album “Happy Accidents” and that’s the one I always went back to and have listened to perhaps thousands of times. If you have one of those records where you know every single word, every single note, every single tempo spacing then you know what I mean. I feel lucky to have a number of those kinds of records, but “Happy Accidents” is on of them for sure. And of course, someone has posted the entire album on YouTube and if you did nothing else for the next 48 minutes besides sit and listen to it that would be 48 minutes well spent.

Every single song on this record resonates with me for different reasons and in different ways. It brings me vivid memories of the swampy smell of the unfinished garage I lived in at the time as our housing complex condo was only 2 bedrooms and I didn’t want to share a bedroom with my mother or brother, long sticky summer days driving across the state with friends, car air conditioner broken, windows rolled down and stereo blasting, or walking through neighborhood streets in central Florida, yards alternating from perfectly manicured to hosting a collection of rusted cars on cinder blocks. The songs were catchy and often about girls and being in love but not in the sappy way that would have put me off at the time. The song “Wait And See” can be found on almost every mix tape I made for any girl over the next 5 years.  You might not think  think that a song with  lyrics like

..If I could take for granted all my faults and second chances, there’s one chance left to take, you could be my maiden and I could fight off all the dragons, but it never seems to work out that way…

would have clicked for a little hardcore straight edge kid in the middle of nowhere obsessed with grindcore and hiphop but they did in a big way. “Intravenus De Milo” “Happy Sad Day” and “Sunflower Honey” were also common mix tape ingredients, though the sample in “Sunflower Honey” that says “What does sex amount to without a sense of guilt” made including that one tricky depending on the hidden messages I was trying to sneak in there.

Their previous album “Home Again” was no less beautiful and I copied the CDs that I had onto one long playing cassette so that when driving around we could listen to both albums back to back easily. The unquestionable standout track on that was “I Won’t Write You A Letter” because with that sugary hook and lyrics like:

…Now and then I might remember, mostly I try to forget, and right now I’m in the middle wondering if it’s over yet, and I know it doesn’t matter because the road will never end, well so I won’t write you a letter I know I’ll be home again…

how could it not? I cued up the video below to that song, listen to the whole thing and wait for the baseline break down 3/4ths of the way through. Holy shit it still gets me even to this day.

Digging further back, their first album “Whatever” just didn’t grab me, I think if I’d heard it when it came out I may have had a different take on it, but by “Home Again” and “Happy Accidents”they had really found their sound which they hadn’t quite figured out on “Whatever” though it there are glimpses of it if you want to hunt for them, but I never really felt the need.

A few years later in 1993 “Crush” came out accompanied by their first music video for the first song from the record “shine” which got picked up on MTV2 which was a really big deal in those days. I remember someone getting tipped off when it was going to be played and we all went over to watch it together. This video, much better than the live Janus Landing one I posted before shows what weirdos they looked like, and really captures what they felt like in my memory.

They were Canadian too so had some added mystic to us Florida kids, in fact now that I think about it it was probably the Doughboys and The Nils who first made Canada interesting to me. Years later I’d re-release the epic “And Such Is Progress” by Grade and then eventually marry a Canadian girl, so maybe they can all thank Doughboys for initially pointing me north. When you think about it Canada and Florida are both weird places that most people have only heard about and are probably a little afraid of so we have some social outcast kinship right out of the gate.

Anyway “Crush” kept going, here’s a song called “Melt” that you can’t even pretend doesn’t rock.

Their final album “Turn Me On” took a big step forward and felt totally different to me than their earlier work. But not in the way that Jawbreaker’s “Dear You” felt totally different, where you were shocked at first, almost taken aback, but it got interesting on the second listen and the brilliance began to show by the third listen and every successive listen after that becomes clearer and clearer that it’s perhaps one of the greatest records ever recorded without ruining the trio of perfect records that had lead up to it. No, “Turn Me On” was just different, and it wasn’t my thing. It’s not a bad record in any sense, but it’s not “Happy Accidents” and that’s what it was all about for me.

Recently I learned that Doughboys singer-guitarist John Kastner moved from Montreal to Los Angeles just before I did and lived right around the corner from me for many years, though I didn’t know it at the time. I don’t know what I would have done had I known, but I’d like to think I would have walked over, knocked on his door and said thanks.

It’s funny sitting here a month shy of my 44th birthday trying to remember when I was 16. Thinking back on that kid I used to be I can’t help but think of things I would tell him that I know now, knowing full well he would never believe anything I had to say. Similarly, I wonder what he’d tell me, looking at the life I ended up making and where the paths I chose lead. I know for sure he never could have imagined half of what has gone down over the last 3 decades – but given the chance to look ahead at where he’d land I wonder what would be the thing he’d have hoped that I would held onto. At that time I really didn’t expect to live to far into my 20’s so I think he would be both surprised and proud. I still like that kid when I think about him. Idealistic and stubborn, he definitely had some issues he needed to work through but he came out OK on the other side of I don’t say so myself.

via seanbonnerdotcom http://bit.ly/2B9mwzQ

#IFTTT #WordPress #Me #Myself #and this blog #Music

[the-morgan]

Anthony Joshua has done MORE sparring to combat ring rust, laid off weights to focus on boxing

New Post has been published on https://vip.anthonyjoshua.club/anthony-joshua-has-done-more-sparring-to-combat-ring-rust-laid-off-weights-to-focus-on-boxing/

Anthony Joshua has done MORE sparring to combat ring rust, laid off weights to focus on boxing

Anthony Joshua has done MORE sparring to combat ring rust, laid off weights to focus on boxing, brought in Kubrat Pulev clones – and David Ghansa says training has felt like ‘being in Ivan Drago’s lab’ with TWO Covid tests a week

Anthony Joshua’s training camp for Kubrat Pulev was far from being normal 

Joshua’s camp has focused on similar aspects to his last one for Andy Ruiz Jr

Camp manager David Ghansa said some sparring partners were unable to fly in 

AJ’s sparring partners were handpicked to have similar attributes to Pulev

The Brit defends his world heavyweight titles against Pulev on Saturday night

Covid tests, logistical nightmares and bio-secure bubbles. This was far from anything that resembled a normal training camp for Anthony Joshua, but in his line of work you have to roll with the punches.

Ordinarily the operation runs smoothly and goes off without a hitch, but we are not in ordinary times. Coronavirus created hurdles that needed negotiating and made it impossible for Joshua’s team to run his camp business as usual.

There were times when plans had to be ripped up and thrown out of the window – at one stage Joshua’s entire schedule, for eating, sleeping and training, was plunged into disarray and had to be completely altered just because one local gym he was using in Sheffield was forced to change its working hours due to the government’s tier system.

  Anthony Joshua has focused heavily on his boxing in his training camp to fight Kubrat Pulev

  AJ defends his world heavyweight titles against the Bulgarian (R) this Saturday night in London

Even Joshua’s training manager David Ghansa admitted it felt more like being surrounded by scientists in ‘Ivan Drago’s lab’ than a normal camp.

‘We have been getting tested regularly, most of the time it’s twice a week,’ he told Sportsmail.

‘Every time we fly somebody in from a new country we are testing them.

‘Everyone is walking around with their masks on, distancing and working out in separate areas. It took a lot of getting used to but we adapted to it.’

Despite testing circumstances, Joshua and his team battled through the adversity in true Rocky spirit, making the best of a bad situation to get him primed and ready to deal with Kubrat Pulev.

Joshua has done less strength and conditioning training despite what he puts out on Instagram

  Joshua’s training manager David Ghansa (second to AJ’s right) revealed how different this camp was to normal ones because of coronavirus restrictions

  Ghansa admitted it felt more like being in ‘Ivan Drago’s lab’ (pictured) than a normal camp

Fortunately, any major change to Joshua’s training operation had already been tweaked before the Andy Ruiz Jr rematch, so that was one less adjustment they had to worry about.

Before that fight, Joshua had realigned his focus to his ringcraft and technique while his sparring was tailored to Ruiz Jr.

The fruits of his work in the gym bore evident results as a leaner and slicker Joshua jabbed and moved his way to redemption in the Saudi Arabian desert.

Pulev presents an entirely different puzzle to crack but Joshua and his team are confident the same algorithm which won AJ his world heavyweight titles back will serve him well again.

‘We have done the same as the Ruiz camp in that we have brought in sparring partners with similar styles to Pulev’s,’ Ghansa added.

‘We’ve watched him and dissected his game and looked at everything he does well. We know he has a good jab so instead of finding a carbon copy of Pulev we looked at who are the best jabbers around and who has got a similar jab to his.

‘We don’t care if you throw anything else so if you do come, obviously sparring is sparring, but we work with the partners so we got them to keep jabbing because it works for us.

Joshua (left) pictured with sparring partners Bryant Jennings (middle) and David Adeleye (right) and his camp manager Ghansa (front)

The Watford-born star is focusing on himself while his team adapt his regime around him

‘We got people in with all the right attributes but it’s quite funny because most of the time it’s the training team’s decision and AJ isn’t aware of it because he is more focused on what he’s doing and not what Pulev’s going to do.

‘So it’s our way of subconsciously getting him used to fighting that style or dealing with a certain problem without him being too aware of it.’

Joshua’s main sparring partners for his camp have been Martin Bakole, Bryant Jennings, Hosea Stewart, Gerald Washington, Delicious Orie, David Adeleye, Christian Thun, Frazer Clarke, Peter Kadiru and Fabio Wardley.

Ghansa revealed there were other heavyweights he wanted to recruit for sparring but was prevented because of travelling restrictions due to coronavirus.

‘At the start of camp we did worry that it seemed like we were going to struggle to get sparring partners over. There were a couple of fighters we wanted to fly in for this camp but couldn’t because of Covid,’ he said.

‘Namewise they are nothing to scream and shout about, it was more like trying to get people in last minute. There was a guy from Croatia but living in Russia. We wanted him to come in but he needed to get a Covid test, and the result had to be 48 hours before his flight but no test centres where he was could turn it around that quickly so it literally became impossible to use him.’

So what other problems has the pandemic caused? ‘When we started camp, Sheffield was put into tier two so a local gym we were using could only open between certain times,’ Ghansa said.

  Angel Fernandez (pictured on the pads with AJ) has played a role in his second camp with him

  Joshua has done more sparring in this camp than usual, having been out of the ring for a year

‘We had to completely flip AJ’s schedule because of it, so he was having to sleep earlier, train earlier, eat earlier. It became about just trying to cram everything in to a day.’

He added: ‘It has just been very different. We have partnered with a testing company and we work with a hotel anyway so have put the sparring partners up in there.

‘The hotel was only open for work purposes so there were NHS staff around in the same area as well. All the fighters were kept in the exact same room for the whole duration and tested regularly. It was pretty difficult for some of them.

‘Gerald Washington lives in Los Angeles so you can only imagine what great weather he gets and he’s by a beach and can go for runs by the sea and all of a sudden we put him in a small hotel room in sunny Sheffield as they say and it’s foggy everyday, there’s no foodstores open and he’s having to eat off Deliveroo. It wasn’t the easiest.’

Coaches Angel Fernandez and Joby Clayton, who were brought on board for the Ruiz rematch, are now permanent fixtures in Joshua’s team and played a key role in this camp alongside head trainer Rob McCracken.

The heavyweight champion was delighted by the adjustments he made for his last fight and subsequently wanted this camp to be similar, instead of reverting back to his old ways of preparation.

+11

Joshua’s team are aware of Pulev’s solid jab and picked sparring partners with similar ones

  Ghansa (middle) revealed everyone in AJ’s bubble is being tested for Covid twice a week

‘The camp has gone really well considering everything,’ Ghansa said. ‘Training wise we have just been teeing off from the last fight.

‘We’ve done a few things differently. His strength training for this camp, he hasn’t actually done too many weights. I know what we put out on Instagram might look a bit different, of him doing deadlifts or bench pressing, but the amount of time spent on it is not that much.

‘If you looked at his timetable, you’d be like: “Bloody hell it is just boxing”. All type of sessions are boxing now instead of fitness and strength.’

Come fight night, it will have been just over a year since Joshua last stepped through the ropes but Ghansa is convinced the long lay-off will not be a factor.

‘His year out shouldn’t show. He’s done a lot of sparring, a lot of sparring and that is the closest thing you can get to the real thing. You could say we’ve done extra just to be sure.’

There may have been a few more bumps in the road to get AJ battle ready, but they expect normal service to resume for him on Saturday night. Then next stop, Tyson Fury.

#AJ #box #fans club

[bangtangurlarmy]

Wings [Part 49] || Taehyung

FAMILY FOREVER

Pairing - Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre - Fantasy, Fallen Angel! AU, Fluff, Smut, Angst

Summary - While working on an assignment which consists of a painfully ironic topic, Jungkook makes you realize certain things about yourself and him.

Prologue ; Part 48

You sighed as you warily eyed the heaps of notes you had yet to finish. Who knew the lectures would be so much in only a month? And it didn't help that you'd missed out on the important ones. Your finals were around the corner and coping with anything at all was tough. But you'd long deserted the idea of complaining. Jungkook, too, had not been bothered by the amount of homework he had from school - or he simply chose not to be bothered in front of you.

Two months passed in a hectic mess - copying notes and learning them late into the night, while Jungkook returned late from practice occasionally and joined in completing his own school work with you beside him. Food was often neglected as you'd barely had any time for bathroom breaks - let alone cooking. But Jungkook would be such a sweetheart sometimes and bring home some take away, convince you to eat with him and you'd both binge watch something on Netflix. It was all okay.

Except...

Except you missed Jin. Everything you did, everywhere you went, every footstep you took further away or closer to his room - a room that was now used by Jungkook, you'd remember him. Holding a mug for a cup of coffee would remind you of him, because he always made that perfect cup of coffee - dark, strong, and slightly sweet - just the way you loved it. And walking into the kitchen was usually out of the question - that man had made the kitchen his home. It was impossible to not remember him anywhere you went. At times, you even found yourself picking up his shirts from one far end in his closet and sniffing them, because he'd hugged you so many times that you'd got accustomed to the scent. And now that he was gone - it was sometimes, or for days together, too hard to bear. You'd curl up into a ball and cry and cry and cry for hours on end. Jungkook would sometimes cry along with you - because he was just as much as friend as he was a brother to him. And not to mention, he missed his best friend so very much.

You'd rarely seen Jungkook cry over Jimin's demise. But the day of his best friend's funeral was a day you'd never forget. He seemed to be more heartbroken than Jimin's parents were. Jimin's mother had even offered to let you both stay with them - or at least Jungkook, but he'd politely declined with tears in his eyes. You were the only family left for him, and he'd need somebody to hold onto just as much you'd needed somebody as well.

It was possible that your thoughts swarmed with Taehyung more than Jin. It was happening now. Since Jin was gradually being forgotten - his clothes had been given away to his parents in the next month, the car he owned being used by your brother was perhaps the only reminder left of his. And the pictures in your phone. Perhaps you ought to delete them if you really wanted to move on.

But that's what you were afraid of.

You believed - which Jungkook deemed a stupid hope - that one day maybe Taehyung might return, maybe not to live with you like you were hoping, but maybe for a final, satisfying farewell. The last time you'd seen him, exactly three months ago was in such a haste. Words were either impossible to find in the coiled mess of queries and doubts or there was too much to say - no in between. And this time, if you'd be given one last chance to tell him goodbye - you'd rectify those rookie mistakes, and you'd organize your words better. You were sure of it. Only, you weren't sure of whether you'd be given that chance.

Sometimes, you'd remember the night you'd slept with him - given away your first time to a Fallen Angel. And more than being disappointed, you held a certain pride that you couldn't quite decipher why you were having. But, nevertheless, you'd loved that night and you also hated it because you now felt stupid - you'd felt this much earlier - for not letting him know of your feelings back when you'd really had the chance. Then maybe you'd have gotten more time with him. Much deserved time.

'Hey, Y/N, you're day dreaming again.' Jungkook had been waving his hand in front of you for the past few minutes, and only now had you seemed to take notice. Blinking rapidly, your cheeks flushed before your pen pretended to work swiftly on the paper you were writing on, and the one you'd deserted because you just couldn't write the essay on 'The Happiest Moments of Your Life'.

The irony - you wanted to laugh at it; go shove the paper into the professor's face and burn it perhaps. Because anything that had been happening in your life for the past three months was everything but happy. Was anything but worth remembering.

'How was practice?' You really were considering doing the above scenario. It might calm your inner self. For now, all you wanted was distraction. You turned around to look at him and frowned as you saw his lip quivering slightly.  Then he cleared his throat loudly.

'Usual - guys messing up, myself messing up even more - I don't even know why I'm bothering to continue-'

'Hey,' You sat beside your brother on the couch, his white shirt a perfect see through as the material absorbed his sweat. 'You've been working on this dream for years. What use would all that hard work be if you let go right now?' You ran your fingers through his sweat slick hair. He clicked his tongue softly before a tiny smile rested on his lips - he liked what you were doing. You pressed the pads of your fingers onto his scalp, massaging it gently, not at all minding the sweat.

'It's just for a few more months and you'll finally be showing yourself to the world - who you are and what you're very much capable of doing.' You cooed gently. It was silent for a few moments - and those few moments, was some time that was needed to forget you had any worries in this world.

His closed eyes opened slowly, his gaze directly set on you, 'Why didn't you tell me about your mother?'

Your fingers stopped working, your eyes slightly wavering as they struggled to remain focused. You never knew he'd known of your deceased mother all along. The pictures were so carefully hidden-

'Father had told me...to get me to go against you- but that's not the point here. You could've told me about her, Y/N.'

'How did you- What made you think I was hiding it from you?' Since he was adopted, you'd assumed with your lacking knowledge that he wouldn't want to know about her. So you never bothered to bring it up. It wasn't a complete lie.

'With every year older I got and understood you, Y/N, I could see the burdens you'd faced from it all. Waiting until you'd turned of age - it was painful or you. Although you'd really tried to hide those bruises, I'd seen them. And when you'd finally won legal custody over me,' He stopped to wipe a tear that had fallen onto your cheek, 'I thought you'd be free from all that burden, but...but you still weren't at peace. And you still aren't.'

You opened your mouth to reprimand him, because you were already beginning to get defensive. But he beat you to it, 'Sometimes - sometimes I feel like I'm not talking to my sister but to a completely different person. The person whom you've lived the entirety of your life showing others. The only times I've seen you be your actual self was when you cried yourself to sleep at more nights than one, or the time you had to keep me safe from all those people. I saw you fight, Y/N, and that was you letting out your anger and sorrow on them. That was you, being you.' You stared at him with wide eyes. For a nineteen-year-old who barely got pass through Math and English, he was a boy of words and understanding. Some traits you'd never thought he'd possess. Because that's what he showed the world. 

'But I don't blame you, though. I love you either way, Y/N. You're my family, after all.' He added with an adorable eye smile that had your heart shaking and eyes watering as you embraced him. You were his family, and he was yours. You both were each other's strength, yet each other's weakness. You stayed on the couch with your hands around his neck and his around your waist for minutes, and you wouldn't have minded to remain so for hours. But you had work to finish - which you now were enthusiastic to finish. You definitely knew what were 'The Happiest Moments of Your Life'. And they were moments spent with your brother, if not with anybody else.      

#kim taehyung x reader #bts #bts wings #wings #wings series #wings part 49 #shit one more chapter #did you guys like this #bts series #bts fantasy #bts fluff #bts angst #jimin #jungkook #namjoon #jin #hoseok #yoongi #taehyung

[dailyokes4u]

123 Genius Trolls Who Took Trolling To Another Level

123 Genius Trolls Who Took Trolling To Another Level

Some funny people are born to troll. It’s in their genes, and there’s nothing they can do to resist it. They’re the people who put their foot on the scales when you’re trying to weigh yourself. They’re the people who give you a frozen block of dollar bills when you tell them you want some cold hard cash for your birthday. And they’re the people who tell co-workers that the new printer is voice activated and then sit and laugh as people yell instructions at it. Yes, they’re the ones that are never short for a painfully funny joke or the best prank ideas.

Scroll down for more hilarious examples of trolls doing what they do best – trolling. Compiled by Bored Panda, the list includes everything from prankster parents and funny felines to smartass sign holders, colleagues with far too much time on their hands and classical internet trolling. Don’t forget to vote for your favorite funny post!

#1 Artist Trolling Planes

Image credits: Marlin Peterson

#2 Trolling The System

Image credits: ralphfaith

#3 Welcome To Cleveland

Image credits: saintrph

#4 Trolling A Kitty

Image credits: Ghost_Animator

#5 Trolling The Protestors

Image credits: PR3DA7oR

#6 This Troll

#7 Well Someone Is A Smartass

Image credits: Mr-Wonderfull

#8 Rick Roll Troll

#9 Speeding Troll

Image credits: Rémi GAILLARD

#10 Trolling Of Biblical Proportions

Image credits: TheGhostOfHarambe

#11 People Warned Me About Pickpockets In Barcelona. So I Made This

Image credits: obviousplant

#12 141 Years Old Troll

Image credits: JiDE

#13 Shout Out To My Brother For Replacing A Picture Of Jesus At My Parent’s House With A Picture Of Obi-Wan Kenobi As Portrayed By Ewan Mcgregor. Three Months And Counting Without Them Noticing

Image credits: A-ladder-named-chaos

#14 My Mom Told Me To “Clean The Bathroom Like The Queen Of England Is Visiting”

Image credits: glnito

#15 How To Troll Your Annoying Apartment Neighbors

Image credits: LivePatrone

#16 And They Said College Would Be Harder Than High School

Image credits: LickMeAllOver

#17 I Made A Cake For A Fourth Of July Party But, As A Canadian, I Couldn’t Resist A Little Cake Trolling

Image credits: Streetlights_People

#18 My Old Front Porch Floor Lasted 97 Years. This Prank May Not Pay Off Until 2114

Image credits: nealobermeyer

#19 So This Year We Bought A 20 Ft Christmas Tree And Cut It In Half So It Goes Through The Roof

Image credits: aidanswalt

#20 You Know You’re Good At Trolling When You Piss Off The Entire Internet

Image credits: princessbonnibelbubblegum

#21 Some Friends Left A Surprise For The Next People Who Redo The Carpet

Image credits: prettyoffbase

#22 Asked Mom For Cash This Year, She Decided That A Check Would Be Too Easy

Image credits: cunt_dooku

#23 Heard A Coworker Yelling “Copy!” At The New Printer. We Seem To Have A Troll

Image credits: deltahokie

#24 Dad Told His Daughters That The Turkey Was Pregnant

Image credits: HocusPenis

#25 There’s An Escaped Murderer Near Where I Live, So I Texted My Parents To See If They Are Ok, They Set Me This…

Image credits: imgur.com

#26 Cat Troll

Image credits: IReallyHaveNoIdeaWhatToPutHere

#27 Friend Went To Disney World And Posted This Pic. His Parents Responded

Image credits: boomdeyada

#28 I Fell For It

Image credits: FreakForFashion

#29 Troll King

Image credits: Julien Berthier

#30 How To Troll Your Family

Image credits: Mr_Inadequate

#31 You’re Welcome

Image credits: tripleshift

#32 Trolling The Apple Store

Image credits: toddy08

#33 Everyone At This Halloween Party Is Dressed As My Twitter Pic This Is A Nightmare

Image credits: jrhennessy

#34 I Guess That I Should Pay Attention In Class Today

Image credits: thepakman47

#35 Smartass

Image credits: APPLEZACKS

#36 Troll Van

Image credits: da_yetti

#37 I Think My Barista Is Trolling Me

Image credits: SuperCub

#38 Parents Used To Tell My Brother And I That We Had Another Brother Who Turned Into A Mushroom From Not Taking A Bath. Even Added Him To The Family Albums

Image credits: abacazam

#39 Feel The Tire

Image credits: auldron

#40 Impressive Forum Troll

Image credits: kevinpadillac

#41 I Present The Greatest Troll Of All Time

Image credits: DavicDuffie

#42 Helpful Advice

Image credits: reddit.com

#43 She Kept Getting On And Off The Scale Confused, And This Went On For 7 Minutes

Image credits: terex232

#44 Management At My Gym Trolling People Into Returning Their Weights

Image credits: Guacotacos

#45 Crowd Troll

#46 Super Facebook Password Trolling

Image credits: ozdok

#47 My Wife Wanted Her Sandwich Cut In Half. She Was Non-Specific As To How

Image credits: leftnotracks

#48 Trolling: 1880’s Edition

Image credits: Short_stuff

#49 Lab Puppy + Glass Table

Image credits: The Hollyhock Door

#50 Found At My Parents. Should I Laugh Or Cry?

Image credits: thelordplatypus

#51 Troll Dad

Image credits: humortogo

#52 My Wife Wanted To Let The Pizza Place Know That They’re Overdoing It With The Advertising

Image credits: texasproof

#53 The ‘Price Is Right’ Move

Image credits: Short_stuff

#54 Frustrated With The Current Field Of Presidential Candidates (Particularly On The Gop Side), My Anglophile Friend Wrote A Trolling Letter To The Queen, Asking Her To Take The Us Back. To Our Shock, They Actually Dignified Him With A Response

Image credits: bardiak

#55 Siri’s Being A Sarcastic B**ch

Image credits: TheFiims

#56 Old-School Trolling From 1930

Image credits: mike_pants

#57 My Dad Said My Dog Took Over My Room After I Left For College. He Sent Me This

Image credits: Bwrighterp

#58 Alec Baldwin Trolls Trump With Russian “Make America Great Again” Cap

Image credits: iamabfalecbaldwin

#59 Ipod Trolling

Image credits: SuperBreakfast

#60 So, My Wife Told Our Kids That The Way To Talk To Santa Was Through Phones In Daddy’s Feet

Image credits: reddit.com

#61 This Cruel Mom

#62 My Mom Made This To Entertain The Family During A Grad Ceremony

Image credits: LainieBarbarian

#63 Just Me At 12, Taking A Road Trip With My Parents And Apparently Their Sense Of Humor

Image credits: catword

#64 My Father Decided To Order Me Pizza While I Was Away At College. His Added Request Would Explain The Awkward Exchange With The Delivery Guy And I

Image credits: Lawlpocalypse

#65 My Son Wanted “Cold Hard Cash” For His Birthday

Image credits: reddit.com

#66 This Is The Most Subtle Troll I Have Seen In Ten Years

Image credits: catpoopgun

#67 Trolling The Adults

Image credits: Thedaveabides98

#68 Trolling Shoppers

Image credits: iUseThis2DownVote

#69 My Mom Likes To Snapchat Me

Image credits: KevinM0ra

#70 My Coworkers Are Going To Hate Me

Image credits: notp

#71 Someone Is Trolling Barnes & Noble

Image credits: wmjstephen

#72 My Wife (A Geologist) Purchased This For Me For My Birthday

Image credits: bboyblaiser

#73 John Oliver Is A Brilliant Troll

Image credits: OQS

#74 I Think My Fortune Cookie Is Trolling Me

Image credits: RetianFes

#75 My Daughter Is The Ultimate Troll… She Switches From A Smile To This Face In Every Picture

Image credits: ToolsAndGears

#76 This Guy’s Been Trolling Cops Since 198b

Image credits: MixmasterJrod

#77 Remember When I Was Temporarily Blind And My Mom Took Me Shopping But I Got Lost In The Parking Lot And Ended Up Confused And In A Hole And She Just Took Pictures Instead Of Helping Me

Image credits: owlmylove

#78 Kid Wants A Note To Get Out Of Physical Education Because It’s “Too Cold”, Mother Delivers

Image credits: Red23UK

#79 I Asked My Dad For $10 For Gas, He Said “Sure, It’s In The Top Left Drawer Of My Computer Desk”. Thanks, Dad

Image credits: reddit.com

#80 Troll Professor At His Finest

Image credits: hrrrrsn

#81 A Strip Club In My Hometown Trolling Some Local High School Kids

Image credits: Woaah

#82 Okay, Who’s The Smart Ass That Did It?

Image credits: HerrWombat

#83 There Are Other Boot Trolls Out There, Made Me Stop And Look

Image credits: mobile_simon

#84 My Mom Has Always Been Artistic When It Comes To Decorating Cakes, This Will Always Be My Favorite. “Jeffaroonie” Didn’t Appreciate It As Much As The Rest Of Us

Image credits: FFBB648

#85 Cop Trolls Slowpoke Driver In The Fast Lane

Image credits: Theo Evans

#86 Trolling A Pup With Ipad Water

Image credits: MOTOI HONDAIRA

#87 My Wife Called To Say She Picked Up 50 Shades Of Grey. This Was Not What I Was Expecting When I Got Home

Image credits: completem

#88 Black Twitter Trolling

Image credits: JDoofy

#89 Fans Trolling Clippers Owner Donald Sterling

Image credits: elilanger

#90 This Mom

#91 The Laser-Engraving Facebook Group I Belong To Just Realized It Could Troll The “Jesus Is A Miracle Worker” Groups

Image credits: BostonBiked

#92 “I Only Want Tiny Pancakes Today.” Troll Dad Obliges

Image credits: AfRoSaUcE

#93 My Gf Is A Grammar Nazi, And I Am A Troll

Image credits: BigLove69

#94 Elvis Andrus Trolling Adrian Beltre

Image credits: gerkology

#95 So My Parents Thought This Would Be Funny This Christmas

Image credits: imgur.com

#96 Ice Cream Man Trolling

Image credits: Tural Şıxlı

#97 Someone Has Been Trolling My Local Taco Bell

Image credits: duttin26

#98 The Now-Infamous Tooth Fairy Letter

Image credits: non-stopmom.blogspot.com

#99 Troll Dad

Image credits: itsamadeupstory

#100 My Mom Asked NBA Point Guard Deron Williams If She Could Take A Picture Of His Shirt. He Thought She Was A Fan Just Trying To Get A Picture Of Him

Image credits: hook_killed_pan

#101 I’m Off To College. My Mom Handed Me This And Told Me This Is The Only Cup I Can Drink Beer/Alcohol Out Of

Image credits: reddit.com

#102 Possible Troll In The Office?

Image credits: Connie23

#103 Troll Level 99

Image credits: pekoe84

#104 My Mom Slid This Under My Door After Walking In On Me Watching Buffy And Sobbing

Image credits: typhoidgrievous

#105 Found This Troll In My Mom’s Yearbook From The 70s

Image credits: fruitynoodles

#106 My Troll Parents

Image credits: ObviouslyEm

#107 I Think My Textbook Is Trolling Me

Image credits: lihab

#108 My Sister Lost Her Phone At A Bar. This Is What My Mom Sent Her When She Asked For A Replacement

Image credits: heaverdini

#109 My Wife Packed Me Hard Boiled Eggs For Lunch

Image credits: geotagger

#110 I Work In A Youth Centre. Thought Id Troll Some Of The Kids

Image credits: Toma-

#111 Ny Rangers Fans Politely Troll Sidney Crosby

Image credits: HRH_Maddie

#112 So My Friend’s Kid Asked For Cod For His Xbox And She Bought Him This… Troll Mum

Image credits: loricasegmentata

#113 I Was Asked What I Want Written On My Cake. I Said “Nothing”

Image credits: chefgeorgeduran

#114 Coworker Found This Dick Decided To Troll. Altima Is My Coworker

Image credits: Jcrater

#115 Nice Trolling By The People On The Top Floor

Image credits: Neil_Patrick_Bateman

#116 Funny Mom Text

#117 Wife Left A Note Saying She Left Some French Toast In The Pan For Me. Was Disappointed

Image credits: priceky

#118 My Professor Can Be A Troll Sometimes

Image credits: swegspeare

#119 Played A Prank On My Boyfriend A While Ago

Image credits: freakyfirecrotch69

#120 Trolling My Drivers License Photo

Image credits: fbipeeper

#121 Today Is The Anniversary Of The Day I Asked Ken M To Troll My Lady’s Online Shop For Her Birthday! He Delivered! Thanks Ken!

Image credits: RogueTaxidermist

#122 End Of Semester Presentations, And I Find Either A Redditor, Or A Master Troll Giving His Speech. Either Way 10/10

Image credits: orieo56

#123 Love My Mom To Death But…

Image credits: Achid1983

from https://dailyjokes4u.com/123-genius-trolls-who-took-trolling-to-another-level/

#Funny #funny people #funny pictures #Funny Troll #funny trolls #Homepage featured #joke #other #prac

[koristore-blog]

  Editors’ rating:

The Pros

Slim and handsome design; Colorful, full-HD display; Comfortable keyboard; Long battery life; Strong overall performance

The Cons

Touchpad can be finicky; Some bloatware

Verdict

The Acer Aspire S 13 is one of the best ultraporable laptop values, offering strong performance, long battery life and a colorful display, all in a slim design.

Thin, light and long-lasting, the Acer Aspire S 13 has pretty much everything you want in an ultraportable laptop, and all for an affordable $749. This 13-inch notebook packs a speedy Core i5 processor, a fairly roomy 256GB SSD and a colorful full-HD display into a handsome chassis that’s only 0.57 inches thick. (A separate Core i7 model is also available.) The S 13 also offers robust Dolby sound and a comfy keyboard, although the touchpad can be pretty finicky at times. Overall, this Acer is one of the best values in its weight class.

Design

Acer deserves credit for not going down the MacBook-clone path like so many others have done. Instead of being yet another silver slab, the Aspire S 13 stands out with its obsidian-black color and textured nano-imprint cover, which gives the notebook a slick, pinstripe aesthetic. (You can also get this system in white, which is even more striking.)

The area around the keyboard and wrist rest is made of aluminum, while the bottom has rubber paint with a nice soft-touch feel. I also dig the diamond-cut edges around the deck and touchpad. The only eyesore on this machine is the thick plastic bezel around the 13-inch display.

The obsidian black Aspire S 13 stands out with a textured nano-imprint cover that gives the notebook a slick, pinstripe aesthetic.

Measuring 12.9 x 9 x 0.57 inches and weighing 2.9 pounds, the Aspire S 13 is plenty light enough for frequent travelers and students. It’s a bit lighter than the 13-inch MacBook Air (12.8 x 8.9 x 0.11-0.68 inches, 3 pounds), but has a similar footprint to that device. The 2.8-pound HP Envy 13t is about the same size as the Acer, while the Asus UX303UA weighs a heavier 3.4 pounds. The XPS 13 is the lightest and most compact of the bunch, at 2.6 pounds and 12 x 7.9 x 0.3-0.6 inches, thanks to its nearly bezel-less design.

Ports

Despite its thin profile, the Aspire S 13 has all the ports you need for today and tomorrow. The left side houses a USB 3.0 port, SD Card slot and headphone/mic jack, while the right side has the power port, HDMI port, another USB 3.0 port and a USB Type-C port.

Display

The Aspire S 13 I reviewed came with a nontouch 1080p display, but you can order it with a touch-screen panel. I’d stick with nontouch, as you’ll get more battery life. Plus, this panel is plenty colorful and bright.

While watching the trailer for Suicide Squad on the S 13’s display, I could make out every slicked-back lock in the Joker’s green do, and I appreciated the shimmer from his black jacket. The viewing angles could be a bit wider, though, as I noticed colors shifting at about 35 degrees off-center.

The Acer’s screen performed well on various lab tests, including a color gamut of 106.8 percent. That blows the doors off of the MacBook Air (66 percent) and beats the nontouch XPS 13 (92 percent) and HP Envy 13t (103 percent), but the Asus Zenbook UX303UA was even better, at 116 percent. The S 13’s screen is also fairly accurate, as it turned in a Delta-E rating of 0.98 (0 is perfect).

I had no trouble working outdoors with the S 13; even on a bright, sunny day I could make out the screen, thanks to its 327 nits of brightness. That outshines most of the competition, with the exception of the MacBook Air (334 nits).

If you’re going to be staring at the display for long periods of time, you can toggle the Acer Bluelight Shield setting, which is designed to lower blue-light emissions to reduce eyestrain and prevent fatigue. (You’ll find this setting in the Acer Quick Access app.)

Turning this feature on gives the screen a yellowish, more book-like hue, which I found weird at first but comfortable after a while.

Audio

The stereo speakers on the Aspire S 13 are so powerful I had to turn the volume down so as not to scare the heck out of family members — and that was just for email alerts in Outlook.

MORE: The Best Laptops for Every Need

I experienced room-filling audio when I played the Mighty Mighty Bosstones’ “The Impression That I Get” with a shockingly wide sound stage; I could easily hear Dicky Barrett’s gravelly vocals over the peppy horns. The audio started to distort at closer to 100 percent volume, but at 90 percent or less there was still plenty of punch.

The speakers on the Aspire S 13 are so powerful I had to turn the volume down so as not to scare family members — and that was just for email alerts.

The Dolby Audio app allows you to choose from multiple sound profiles, including Music, Movie, Game and Voice, but I stuck with Dynamic most of the time, as it’s supposed to change the profile on the fly. There’s also an equalizer if you want to really dig deep.

Keyboard and Touchpad

The S 13’s keyboard offers a comfy typing experience, but I would change a couple of things. Despite offering just 0.87 mm of travel (we prefer 1mm or more), the keys had a nice, pillowy feel as I typed, letting me reach 75 words per minute with just 2 errors. That’s a bit faster than my 70 wpm average.

The layout offers two different stages of backlighting, one for dimly lit rooms and another that goes to full brightness. My problem with the layout is that the function keys are reversed for various shortcuts. For example, you need to press Fn and then the F8 button to mute the sound, as opposed to just F8 itself. Also, the function keys are tiny.

It may be called a Precision Touchpad, but I found the large, 4.1 x 2.5-inch touchpad less than precise. While two-finger scrolling was fairly smooth and I easily executed Windows 10 gestures (such as swiping three fingers up to see all apps), the cursor stuttered a bit as I navigated the desktop. This made selecting text a challenge. In addition, the cursor sometimes moved when I accidentally brushed the pad, and sometimes I would inadvertently select text. Better palm rejection would help.

Performance

With its 6th-Generation Core i5-6200U processor, 8GB of RAM and 256GB SSD, the Aspire S 13 proved swift in my testing. It ably juggled 16 tabs in Chrome while I played an episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt on Netflix in another window. Only when I added a 17th tab did I start to see a bit of slowdown.

MORE: Best Ultrabooks (Thin-and-Light Windows Laptops)

On the Geekbench 3 test, which measures overall performance, the Aspire S 13 scored 6,331, which is comparable to the showings of its closest competitors. The Core i7 model of the S 13 notched 6,925 on the same test.

The Asus UX303UA, which has the same processor as the Acer, notched a slightly lower 6,290, while the Dell XPS 13 nontouch (6,391) and HP Envy (6,306) — also with the same CPU — were neck and neck with the S 13. The MacBook Air was far behind, at 5,783, but it also has an older, 5th-Generation processor.

The S 13’s SSD is faster than the average ultraportable’s, but behind the best we’ve tested. It took the system 30 seconds to copy about 5GB worth of mixed-media files, giving it a transfer rate of 167.7 megabytes per second. That trumps the Asus UX303UA (159 MBps) and lowly HP 13t (77.1 MBps), but the Dell XPS 13 (231.3 MBps) and MacBook Air (358.4 MBps) are considerably faster.

You should have no problem crunching numbers with this notebook, as the Aspire S 13 took a brisk 4 minutes and 29 seconds to match 20,000 names and addresses in OpenOffice. That’s the same amount of time as the Asus, slightly faster than the Dell XPS 13 (4:33) and only a second behind the HP Envy 13t. The MacBook Air was a much faster 4:03. The Core i7 version of the S 13 took the same amount of time as the Mac.

Battery Life

The Acer Aspire S 13 has the battery life to last a cross-country flight, and then some. On the Laptop Mag Battery Test, which involves continuous web surfing over Wi-Fi (at 100 nits of screen brightness), the system lasted a strong 9 hours and 8 minutes. The Core i7 version of the S 13 we tested lasted an evern longer 9:48.

That run time smokes the HP Envy 13t (5:48) and also beats the Asus UX303UA (8:27) and the ultraportable category average (8:10). However, the more expensive Dell XPS 13 and 13-inch MacBook Air lasted much longer, at 11:54 and 14 hours, respectively.

MORE: Laptops with the Longest Battery Life

Webcam

Most webcams on Windows laptops are terrible, but the Aspire S 13’s 720p camera is pretty decent. My salmon-colored shirt looked accurate in a selfie, although my face was a bit blurry. I conducted one video call over Skype and another over BlueJeans, and other callers didn’t have any complaints.

Software

Acer includes a few useful utilities, along with more bloatware than we’d like. The compact Acer Quick Access app lets you toggle the Bluelight Shield function for when you want to reduce eye strain, use power-off USB charging (which lets you juice gadgets even when the system is powered down) and enable network sharing. Acer Care Center combines access to support, recovery management, updates and tune-ups in one app. The strangely redundant Acer Power Button app lets you turn off the display or tell the notebook to sleep, hibernate or shut down.

Acer bundles some third-party software that we’d rather download ourselves, and some we can live without altogether. The former camp includes Netflix and Skype, and the latter includes Amazon Kindle and WildTangent Games. There are also trials of Microsoft Office and McAfee Internet Security Suite.

Configuration Options

We reviewed the Acer Aspire S13 S5-371-52JR, which retails for $749 and features a Core i5-6200U processor, 8GB of RAM, a 256GB SSD, and a 13.3-inch and 1920 x 1080 display. Stepping up to the $799 white model (the S5-371T-58CC) gets you the white color and an IPS display with wider viewing angles. Acer also offers models with a Core i7 CPU and 512GB SSD for $999, or you could just get the larger SSD paired with a Core i5 chip for $899.

Bottom Line

If you’re looking for a great student laptop or a machine for frequent travel, or if you just want a lightweight laptop that can go the distance, the Acer Aspire S 13 is one of the best bargains around. For $749, you get a speedy Core i5 processor, a 256GB SSD, a colorful full-HD display and more than 9 hours of battery life, all wrapped up in a svelte package that doesn’t ape Apple. The stereo speakers also impressed, delivering surprisingly robust audio. I just wish the touchpad weren’t so sensitive, as it sometimes just got in the way.

The Dell XPS 13 is the better bet if you want longer battery life in a more compact design, but it costs a pricey $999 with a Core i5 processor and smaller 128GB SSD (and $1,149 with 256GB). The Asus UX303UA is another strong contender, offering comparable performance to the Aspire S 13 in an all-metal design for $799, but it offers lackluster audio and doesn’t last quite as long on a charge as the Acer does. Overall, the Aspire S 13 is one heck of a value and one of our favorite ultraportable laptops.

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

CPU Operating System RAM RAM Upgradable to Hard Drive Size Hard Drive Speed Hard Drive Type Secondary Hard Drive Size Secondary Hard Drive Speed Secondary Hard Drive Type Display Size Native Resolution Optical Drive Optical Drive Speed Graphics Card Video Memory Wi-Fi Wi-Fi Model Bluetooth Mobile Broadband Touchpad Size 4.1 x 2.5 USB Ports Warranty/Support Size Weight Company Website

  Acer Aspire S 13 Review Editors' rating: The Pros Slim and handsome design; Colorful, full-HD display; Comfortable keyboard; Long battery life; Strong overall performance…

[csaspirant1]

Planning for Himalayas? or Have an idea? Here are some tips and our story.

Ever I wonder myself sometimes how I reached 12,500ft, Kedarkantha Himalayan peak in Uttarakhand, experiencing snowfall in my life for the first time, without any extra efforts needed to trek the big risky mountain with my friends. Travelling from south India without knowing Hindi, we went all along, reached, trekked, survived and successfully came back and used to tell these stories to everyone whoever ask about this wonderful trip. 

Bit long journey

After 2015 Chennai flood, it was like a Winter break for us to recover from the monstrous flood. We (Aravind, Manoj, and Myself) went by train considering our budget and all these travel ticket bookings and membership and slot booking in YHAI (Youth Hostel Association of India) where everything was preplanned and perfect for our excursion. It almost took 48 hours for TamilNadu express to reach the National capital, meanwhile met two army persons in the train where one is the savior and another one is the driver, amused us by sharing their experiences who are returning back to works after their leave and we reached Delhi early morning. Freezing with 6-degree Celsius, took Delhi Metro, the cheapest travel to roam around and reach places quickly, reached Sector 10 Rohini. We had a quick breakfast in McDonald's and went inside Decathlon (largest sporting goods retailer) nearby to complete our checklist, Christmas celebrations were going on in the meantime. 

Again taking Metro, we reached Delhi railway station and headed to Dehradun. We reached the same day night. It’s freezing more here even though we had the same temperature but it was a night. We met two more friends (Karthik & Akhlad), who already reached Dehradun directly from Pune and had our rooms ready earlier. Couldn’t recall the place we stayed but it was nearby the main bus stand. After our heavy dinner (Rotti with Grill chicken) beside the hotel, went for a night walk and had a cup of tea around 1am, made us comfortable with campfire built adjacent to that shop. While returning back to home, we were stopped by the local police and they used us to entertain them during their work hours, it was entertaining for us too. 

To base camp

Next day morning, we came to contact with another set who were heading to the same place, Sankri (our base camp). Unfortunately, we couldn’t cope up with their timings and they left us. After some selfies we checked out, reaching local bus stand to enquire how to reach Sankri. It was a bit costly to take a Jeep so we went through Govt. bus. 

(From left: Myself, Aravind, Karthik, Manoj & Akhlad)

With long 8hrs of travel including our lunch, singing loudly Tamil, Hindi & English songs sitting at last seat in Bus, clicking some pics wherever bus stops for a break and two more people joined us in the midway who were our batch for the same trek. It was quite a long bus journey and reached a place where the jeep is the only option to reach base camp.  

Jeep ride is like the most adventurous I think every time because, those track inside the forest, the single 10feet way for both sides of vehicles to commute and those bends which put me to hold my breath till we reach. My crazy friends took a step further and toured at the top of the jeep and we reached base camp around 6pm, which was dark by that time, crossed 8000 feet already. Here is the place is shown below.

We failed to bring admit cards, alleging flood as the reason, we showed soft copies and completed our initial process and asked to finished our dinner with rotti’s and sabji before 7pm. Lost all our mobile networks at this point completely.

Why this Kolaveri?

It’s time to collect our things, get into tents and make ourself comfortable. We were called to the place after some time where every one of our batches gathered, for an introductory session. They asked people to perform something they would be good at, not to awe, some people started showing their talents and our chance came in between. We prepared for a little drama within minutes with help of other two guys and the context is, How well we managed to learn some basic Hindi words and we defined in fun manner, people liked it. Ending the drama with a song, Why this Kolaveri di? and our batchmates sang along with us well. Who doesn’t know that popular song by the way?

Warm Up

Next day, after a warmup call, we went to a place following our guide. Honestly, that moment made me down, lose consciousness for a short time and couldn’t even complete my warm-ups. I’m afraid of my health at that time, gave me a thought,

How am gonna make it to12500ft? This question will be answered below.

Back to normal after some rest, we had our breakfast after returning back to base camp. It's time for shopping now and we got some gloves and scarf,  the day went with some plays with my batch mates. We all asked to get a full big body cover of Rs.20, which blows your mind when you come to know it’s purpose.

Day 1 Trekking

Leaving all the unnecessary things in the base camp, we started to trek only with the things needed to make ourself comfortable. We headed into the forest and took some good photographs. We had a lunch which was provided at the base camp in the middle and finally, everyone from our group managed to reach the camp called, Juda Talav. The thing that we find interesting during this trek where two big personable dogs, one at the front and other at the back, taking us safely to each camp. When we asked for the reason, they are used to protect you from Wolves, the coach replied. And further said, you can see sometimes these dogs run and bark at random places where they spot endangered animals. To remember our protectors, we took selfies with them and they looked gorgeous. 

The following pic shows how the camp looks.

Adding to our fun part, we team of 5-6 members challenged ourselves for a bare body challenge. And we made it happened before reaching the Juda Talav camp. I could still get that moment, shouting all around and dressing back expeditiously. 

Snow Fall

The best thing we are gifted in Juda Talav camp is the snow fall. Not everyone could see the snowfall over there, which occurs periodically. Some of the moments are captured perfectly in slow motion videos in my iPhone 6 and one video is added below. 

After a hot soup and a dinner around 6pm, the day ended with a single candle light inside our tent, playing bluffs in cards and parodying our friends. Another best thing were no mobile networks and current will disturb you, such a peaceful surrounding one should definitely experience in their life. 

Day 2 Trekking

We headed to another camp, after our normal breakfast of Chapathi and Sabji but this time, its bit more adventurous than previous one. Places were filled with ice, snow and were very slippery. Joining hands and helping each other, we could easily manage to trek this camp. 

Frozen lake

We could spot a frozen lake in our way which gives us time to spend and again this is the first time for us, playing in the lake for a very long time. 

Cell phone signal

After few yards, at some point, our guide instructed us to use your phone to update the status of us to our family members. We were amazed, how we could make calls and there were even no signals earlier. Later he said, only BSNL network works here. Only two of our batch mates have BSNL networked phone, and all the 40 above members made use of it.

We reached the camp Luhasu after some time. This place is astonishing and the below pic speaks the remaining.

Who don’t work on making a snow man, when you are fully surrounded with full of snow. Aren’t we exception to it? We built a snowman and took some pics with him. 

Our camp leader here is Chandra Sharma who is graduated, is working here at free of cost only because of his passion. He inspired us with his challenging stories and made us proud of him. Such a passionate person, made us think deeply and delivered us, the true definition of it. He also showed us the point we going to reach tomorrow, inflated our excitement to the core. 

After sharing few of our experiences with our friends, we went for a sleep and we were asked to get ready around 4am, to trek final phase, Kedarkantha Peak.

Day 3 Trekking - Kedarkantha Peak 

We woke up around 3am and getting things done in hurry. It was like, are we going to make this? We started at 4am with this thought with a small torch in hand. We were moving slowly since the place looks very dark and we don’t want any abnormal things to happen. 

That was the peak we are heading, said our coach. To our excitement, we conversed ourselves that it's near and we can reach soon, but soon we thought it’s not easier in that - 15-degree Celsius.

Walking ...

Walking ...

Walking ...

The peak is getting closer but still, we didn’t reach. It was hard to take selfies either. Neither couldn’t touch camera icon or press volume buttons to take photos with our gloves. Instead, we removed but couldn’t hold longer. Hands are freezing. The peak and the beautiful view is the only thing, made us move. Now, the path is a bit dangerous than previous one. If one is slipped, it affects everyone and we don’t know where it takes. 

One more interesting thing to note here is, We had a couple in our batch and they both were loveable. They both were caring & helping each other, such an adorable peoples to meet. Only group of guys can enjoy a trip? No. Make yourself surrounded by positive peoples and one, you can sync with you. That would definitely be a memorable trip.

Finally, around 12 pm, after tough 8 hours of journey, we reached the peak. Wow, such an amazing view it was. There was a temple in the top. Clicked hundreds of pics in excitement. One of the pics goes below.

It was breathtaking.

Mountains were beautiful. The peak was beautiful. No words to explain the dazzling mountains. Beautiful, that's it. Once again we took the bare body challenge.

The group picture ...

After some hours of refreshments, we started to trek down. Again, the special and adventurous moment for us. You remember about the body cover which I explained earlier, time to use it now.

Snow Skirting

Couldn’t get a better word to describe it. We covered ourself with the cover and our guide asked us to roll over in the snow. We started skirting and it was fun. We had challenges with our friends like, who goes first, who can do better by dashing through the snow. We didn’t stop even after the cover was torn. 

Finally, we reached one of our camp, which was not the one we stayed back earlier. It was slippery, yet we managed to reach with our friend's support.

Day 4  Trekking - Returning to Base Camp

Next day, after a long walk again, we reached our base camp. We were in a hurry mood to wind up so that we could spend some time in Delhi or Rishikesh. Certificate of completion will be issued only on day 5 (last day) but we explained our situation and get our certificates done by that time and winded up.

Q: How am gonna make it to12500ft?

A: Yes, this is how I made it.

Some days in National Capital

We reached Dehradun after a long travel from base camp, almost 12 hours. We got a bus immediately after our dinner and headed to Delhi. We got a cheap room and dropped our luggage. The first place we visited was,

Jama Masjid, Delhi.

 The religious place to visit. After some religious sentiments, we had briyani and went shopping. We visited India Gate, walked along those roads and concluded our day.

Next day, TN Express again put us (Aravind & Myself) in homes after long 2 days journey where other 3 of our friends took flight and returned to their natives.

Tips & Helpful links before you go ...

YHAI - Site to book your slots

http://www.yhaindia.org/

To dress up well for the trek?

https://www.decathlon.in/

Takeaways

Thermals (the type of clothes) which holds heat, generated from your body, keeping you warm throughout the trek.

Get a quality jacket.

A rucksack is the best one to trek along with your things.

Don’t get plastic water bottles as it would freeze water at minus temperatures.

Take gloves and good quality trekking shoes.

Most importantly, get a fitness certificate with the doctor before you proceed.

#kedarkantha #kedarkanthatrek #yhai #chennai #delhi #dehradun #12500ft #tamilnaduexpress #sankri #dog #himalayas

[edvydas]

Krystal and I were standing there, minding our own business, at a Bloomington bridal show a bit more than a year ago looking for wedding couples.

  You know — the usual, things photographers do at bridal shows. Hand out pens. Show off our gorgeous canvas wraps and our wonderful wedding albums. Talking with folks.

  And, suddenly this familiar blonde appears with this young guy in tow. And tells us we need to shoot her wedding next year.

  I did my usual confused look — and realized this young lady was Ashley. Ashley, as in a high school senior from not so many years ago. Alison’s daughter who had been part of many a family photos with Mike.

  Ashley — Alison and Micheal’s daughter. Ashley, one of the bridesmaids in her mom’s wedding.

  Cool.

  The young guy in tow, Bobby. Her fiancé.

  Mom’s Wedding 

Her mom’s wedding was not that many years ago, back in 2009. Alison made a gorgeous bride with her groom, Michael and I had not doubt Ashley would do the same. I’ve included one of their wedding photos with the other neat photos on this blog.

  Needless to say, we were thrilled to speak to her and Bobby.

  Even more thrilled to book them for their wedding day, which took place back in September.

  Alison along with her bridesmaids on her wedding day, including Ashley, a few years ago.

The wedding took place at St. Patrick’s of Merna with a reception following at Eastland Suites.

  The bride, gorgeous, of course. She chose the perfect gown — from Country Lace Bridal (the Allure collection).

  The groom, well, a bit nervous but ready to go in his tux from the Men’s Wearhouse. He did have his groomsmen to keep him entertained as they waited for the ceremony to start.

  Wedding Letters

They did one thing that I had never had a bride and groom do before — and found to be neat. Many brides and grooms write their own vows these days for their wedding. Something not possible when getting married at a Catholic church. Instead they wrote letters for each other and then exchanged them during the first look.

  Loved both of them on this part, making this even more emotional first look.

  Reggie visits!

After the ceremony we headed to Miller Park for some fun photos. And they were able to visit with their favorite puppy, Reggie! Their doggie visited to make sure he was not left out of the photos from the day.

  Ashley and her favorite dog (well, her only dog, but still her favorite) exchange a kiss during a visit to the park after the wedding ceremony.

Cuddles and Cuteness ensued. Reggie had fun! The bridal party added to this, of course, as the bridesmaids discovered their dress could be quite customizable.

      And then off to the reception — with a fabulous meal — at Eastland Suites.

  Of course, the day’s embarrassing moments were not complete yet. The DJ, Faith Rinker from Glass Slipper Entertainment, brought the Hat Game to the floor for them. And provided a bit of fun in answering a few personal questions in front of their family and friends.

  All in all, a good day.

  Bridesmaid Ashley checks Ashley, the bride’s, make-up.

Ashley’s mom Alison adjusts her veil.

Ashley and her bridesmaids do a few poses before the ceremony.

Ashley poses with her bouquet at St. Patrick’s of Merna in Bloomington before her wedding.

Ashley’s little sisters can’t help but find some play time before the wedding as they explore the church

Groomsmen keep Bobby distracted before the ceremony.

Ashley and Bobby read letters they wrote to each other for their wedding day.

Groomsman paces as he waits for the beginning of the ceremony at St. Patrick’s of Merna

Ringbearer and the flower girls exchange a hug after coming down the aisle

Bobby and his groomsmen await the bride after making their way down the aisle at St. Patrick’s of Merna.

Bobby gazes into his bride’s eyes during the wedding ceremony.

Flower petals sprinkled on the ground leading up to the bride and groom

Ashley and Bobby kiss as bridal party cheers them on at Miller Park in Bloomington.

Ashley’s wedding gown train is the perfect spot for Bobby to play with their puppy.

Give them a few minutes to play and bridesmaids prove their dresses can be a lot of fun.

Ashley and Bobby speak with each other during their first dance together

Well, at least one of the bridesmaids wants to watch the bride during her first dance! Okay, maybe the others are taking a photo or two.

Ashley watches her father perform during their dance together

Bobby throws the garter to his group of single guys during the reception

Ashley is not totally sure about how she should answer the question

Time for some crazy dancing!

Wedding reception kiss with Bobby and Ashley

  [ngg_images source=”galleries” container_ids=”6″ display_type=”photocrati-nextgen_basic_tagcloud” number=”45″ gallery_display_type=”photocrati-nextgen_basic_imagebrowser” order_by=”sortorder” order_direction=”ASC” returns=”included” maximum_entity_count=”500″]

  Wedding for Ashley and Bobby Krystal and I were standing there, minding our own business, at a Bloomington bridal show a bit more than a year ago looking for wedding couples.

[celticnoise]

TOMMY GEMMELL, Lisbon Lion was remembered today by the Celtic family. His friend of 48 years, Alex Gordon delivered the eulogy at Tommy’s funeral. Alex has kindly provided CQN with a copy in advance of the service and we have arranged for it to be posted at 12.30pm  today.

Sleep well Tommy, good friend, great Celt, Lisbon goalscorer, Milan goalscorer, Lisbon Lion.

Over to Alex…

TOMMT GEMMELL – EULOGY

Hello, ladies, gentlemen and friends of Tommy Gemmell.

Mary has asked me to say a few words about her husband Tommy. And she has made me promise to trim it to under an hour.

I’ll do my best.

Okay, where to start when you are talking about a genuine Celtic legend, a unique footballer and human being who made the beautiful game even more attractive by his awesome presence?

Well-deserved tributes have been paid over the past eight days to a man who will be remembered for all time in Celtic folklore.

Tommy Gemmell touched the hearts of so many and he gave us all an avalanche of outstanding memories to treasure and cherish.

Only a few weeks ago, at his bedside in the Glasgow care facility that had become home for almost three months, I asked him what it was like to make so many people smile.

How did it feel knowing his goal in Lisbon would still be being replayed in one hundred years’ time? And one hundred years after that?

“Ach, I’m happy if I made other people happy,” he said without a trace of mock modesty. He added: “Mind you, I enjoyed it, too.”

Life was never dull around Tommy Gemmell. He was a generous, big-hearted personality who was one of the most humble guys I ever had the honour to meet and call a friend.

He was an ordinary bloke who did extraordinary things.

Tommy Gemmell is the only British player to score in two European Cup Finals AND a World Club Championship Final. That feat will never be equalled.

I was still at school when I first clapped eyes on this remarkable character in 1963. I’ve been a Celtic supporter as far back as I can remember and I used to attend all the games in the old Jungle at Celtic Park with my dad and two uncles.

The first left-back I can remember at Celtic was a sturdy, no-nonsense fellow by the name of Jim Kennedy.

He was a proper full-back with his shorts pulled up to his armpits, concrete-reinforced shinpads and boots that must have weighed about four stone each.

It didn’t matter that he was as mobile as Frankenstein’s monster because he rarely ventured into the other team’s half.

He was a defender and he was there to defend. I recall his main strength was his ability to lob the opposing outside-right about 50 yards with devastating accuracy.

In Jim Kennedy’s own words: “I was purely a defender and tended to get a nosebleed if I went over the halfway line.”

And then in came this young whippersnapper by the name of Tommy Gemmell. He was 19 years old at the time and didn’t look like any full-back I had ever seen. No sign of bulky shinpads, no boots made in John Brown’s shipyard.

He was blond, tall, lithe and stylish.

And he could run like an Olympic athlete. Bewilderingly, he would spend a fair percentage of the game in enemy territory and he possessed the kick like an angry mule as he routinely terrified opposing goalkeepers.

He was a swashbuckling character who performed with a swagger.

Tommy Gemmell was here to stay.

For me, it was adoration at first sight.

Of course, what I – and thousands of other Celtic fans didn’t realise at the time – was the fact Tommy was going against strict orders from Sean Fallon, who was Jimmy McGrory’s assistant manager, who threatened to drop him if he continued to cross the halfway line.

Tommy, being Tommy, chose to ignore those instructions.

And we can all be eternally grateful for that. If he had listened to the assistant manager, Celtic Football Club might not have a certain celebration to look forward to on May 25.

Tommy Gemmell scored 63 goals for Celtic. Even including 31 penalty-kicks, that is a stupendous record for a full-back.

We should make no mistake, Tommy revolutionised that position.

And he took on that task on his own. Jock Stein, of course, became Celtic manager in March 1965 and, as we all recognised, he encouraged attacking football.

That suited Tommy Gemmell, but it must be noted Big Jock told him his main role in the team was to defend and heaven help him if he was marked absent when crosses were allowed to come into the Celtic box.

But there was just no way you could curb the adventurous spirit or the eye-catching antics of this amazing footballer.

Tommy Gemmell was a cavalier in green and white hoops as he relentlessly hurtled up and down the right and left wings.

Soon opponents were putting out wingers to man-mark the Celtic full-back. Incredible.

So, we know all about the goals, the gongs and the glory of Tommy Gemmell’s remarkable career at club and country level.

What about the man?

I could never have dreamed how things would pan out for Tommy Gemmell and that wee boy in the Jungle. Truly, as they say, you couldn’t make it up. Fact is often stranger than fiction.

I first interviewed Tommy in 1969 for a football magazine when I was 17 and working as a sports sub-editor on the Daily Record newspaper.

To me, and many others, he wasn’t just the best left-back at Celtic or in Scotland, he was the best left-back in the world.

If Tommy had been born in Rio de Janiero and not Craigneuk, he would have been a global sensation.

I recall that interview vividly. I was a nervous wreck when I dialled his phone number. “Hello,’ said the voice at the other end.

“Hello,” I responded. I managed to blurt out: “I’m looking for Mr Gemmell.”

“You’ve found him,” came the friendly reply. “And my name’s Tommy. What can I do for you?”

I explained who I was and that I was looking for an interview for a football magazine. I asked: “May I steal five minutes of your time?”

There was a laugh at the other end of the line. “No, you may not steal five minutes of my time. Take as long as you want, son.”

That conversation lasted 48 years, on and off.

Tommy Gemmell transformed from hero to friend in a heartbeat that day.

He put a rookie interviewer at ease and I never forgot that simple act of kindness.

He was always there when I needed him, nothing was too much bother for this guy. Eventually, we met in person and we kept the friendship going.

This generous man – and I use the word ‘generous’ in all its many aspects – gave up his time to spend hours being interviewed by me and the sports reporters of various other newspapers and magazines.

We all knew he was an intelligent, witty character and the stories just about wrote themselves. Tommy Gemmell never asked for a penny for his time.

There were other individuals in the sport without a scintilla of Tommy Gemmell’s ability who’s first question would be if you asked them for an interview was “How much?”

There was a well-known character who was known to the Press as FIFA.

And ‘m not talking about world football’s governing body.

You spoke to this guy and it was a case of “a fee for this” and “a fee for that.”

That was not Tommy Gemmell’s style.

As a human being, Tommy insisted there were two classes: First and none. Guess which category fitted Tommy.

Tommy Gemmell, of course, played his football as he lived his life, with a smile on his face. And he lived life to the full, believe me.

I left the Sunday Mail, where I had been sports editor, in 1994 and acquired a sports news agency called 7 Day Press. I moved the company to West Nile Street in Glasgow city centre.

Around the same time, the financial advisers where Tommy worked shifted across the city to…West Nile Street. Suddenly, my big pal and I were neighbours.

The Iron Horse pub was directly opposite my office and a short free-kick from Tommy’s. Needless to say, it became headquarters. Two or three times a week, I would receive a phone call from Tommy: “HQ, five minutes.”

Who could turn down that request?

This went on for for the best part of 20 years. Just an hour or so in each other’s company, a lot of the time on our own – well, as much as you can be on your own in a pub in the heart of Glasgow.

Tommy Gemmell was, of course, still an instantly recognisable figure.

I want to meet the genius who invented mobile camera phones.

I’ve taken more snaps that David Bailey and Lord Lichfield combined.

Complete strangers would burst into our company, it didn’t matter that we were having a private conversation, and embrace Tommy like a long lost brother.

And Tommy always had time for those fans. They would hand me their phone and order me to take a picture.

Tommy would pose with his new best friend and have a natter before another satisfied punter left, looking at his phone and a memento that would no doubt be kept forever.

Again, that was so typical of the man. He loved Celtic Football Club, but, equally, he loved Celtic fans.

Eleven months ago – on April 8, to be precise – Tommy made his last appearance at a supporters’ function.

Ironically, it was the Dunblane Tommy Gemmell Celtic Supporters’ Club and they were celebrating their 20th anniversary at Stirling Rugby Club.

In truth, he wasn’t in the greatest of health. He could quite easily have politely declined the invitation. However, he made up his mind he was going to make an effort and go to the function.

“‘I don’t want to let anyone down,” he said. My wife Gerda and I drove to Dunblane to pick him up that Friday night. He didn’t look well at all, but he was absolutely determined he would attend the function. There was no changing his mind.

Tommy saw out most of the evening before we drove him home again. We took him to his ground floor flat. Normally, he would ask us in for what he termed a snifter.

But, on this evening, he turned and said: “Do you mind if I go straight to bed? I’m a wee bit tired.”

He looked shattered, out on his feet, but there was no way Tommy Gemmell was going to let down the people he always insisted were the greatest fans in the world.

On our days in the Iron Horse pub, Tommy’s tipple was dry white wine, but he always finished with a brandy and port.

Somewhere along the line we would have blotting paper – Tommy’s euphemism for food – but when we were winding down to go back to our respective workplaces, he would order up a brandy and port – “Gentleman’s measure, please”.

For the uninitiated in the ways of pub culture, a “Gentleman’s measure” is a double.

However, I have this feeling if Tommy had still been around in May he might have fancied a treble.

Even heroes have heroes and Tommy’s favourite sportsman of all-time was Muhammad Ali, for many people, rightly proclaimed as ‘The Greatest’.

Muhammad Ali was the world heavyweight boxing champion by the time he visited Scotland in August 1965.

It was arranged for Ali to visit Celtic Park and then Ibrox and, of course, the press was out in force. Ali posed for all sorts of pictures, even hammed it up in a kilt and Tommy was like a kid when I talked to him years later about his meeting with his hero.

Tommy told me: “He was an awesome presence. You saw him on the telly, but you never really appreciated the size of the guy or his fabulous physique. The dimensions of his hands were like sides of ham. And, of course, he was such an immaculately-honed sportsman with incredible good looks.

“Apart from that, he was just an ordinary fella.”

As Ali prepared to leave Celtic Park to go and meet the Rangers players, Tommy told him to look out for Willie Henderson, the club’s fabulous wee outside-right who also became a lifelong friend of Tommy.

Willie Henderson is a boxing aficionado. Tommy, in fact, made the point Willie actually looked like a boxer on account of his squashed nose.

Anyway, Muhammad Ali and his entourage arrived in Govan and went through the same routines with the Rangers players, posing for photographs and so on.

Willie, as expected, took the opportunity to introduce himself to the world’s greatest-ever fighter. They shook hands and Ali looked at Willie’s nose.

“You a footballer?” he asked.

“Aye,” answered Willie.

Ali took another glance at the Rangers player’s flattened hooter.

“Man, I’m sure glad I’m a boxer,” he said.

Of course, Muhammad Ali passed away in June last year at the age of 74, a year older than Tommy. Can you imagine the chat these two guys could be having today as they discuss their sporting achievements?

The affection in which Tommy Gemmell held Willie Henderson is obvious today. Willie, who doesn’t drive, made frequent visits to his big pal in Dunblane and, latterly, Glasgow.

I love the story Tommy told me about Willie turning on a Rangers team-mate when they were at a footballing function.

He was chatting to Tommy when an Ibrox colleague said: “What are you talking to him for? He does nothing but kick you when you’re out on the football park.”

Willie bristled. “He’s never kicked me in his life. Tripped me up, tugged my jersey and pulled me down.

“But he’s never kicked me!”

Speaking of wonderful wee touchline magicians, we couldn’t possibly miss a mention of Jimmy Johnstone.

Tommy Gemmell loved his fellow-Lisbon Lions and what they achieved for Celtic, in particular, and the world of football, in general.

He could spend hours extolling the virtues of Ronnie Simpson, Jim Craig, Bobby Murdoch, Billy McNeill, John Clark, Willie Wallace, Stevie Chalmers, Bertie Auld and Bobby Lennox.

It must be said he was also a big fan of Davie Hay.

But there is no doubt that wee Jinky Johnstone had a special place in the heart of Tommy Gemmell. They were football’s odd couple with Tommy standing at 6ft 2in and Jinky at just 5ft 4in.

They first met even before they joined Celtic as they both attended Burnbank Technical College in Lanarkshire.

Tommy had thoughts of becoming an electrician and Jinky was training to become a welder. Thankfully, their career paths took a dramatically different course.

Tommy and Jinky both signed for Celtic in the winter of 1961 and became the best of buddies throughout their lives.

Tommy had a host of tales about Jinky, who, of course, was voted the Greatest-Ever Celtic Player by the supporters.

We all knew what he got up to on the field, but his off-the-field antics were just as entertaining.

Tommy told me the story of Jinky turning up at Celtic Park one day with a brand new Jaguar car. The wee man was as proud as Punch.

“Tam, come and have a smell at these seats. They’re real leather – that’s no’ rubber. Classy wheels, eh? A cigar lighter, too.” And so on.

Tommy agreed to let Jinky pick him after training the following day and they would head up to Crief for a relaxing spot of fishing.

They were heading to one of Tommy’s favourite spots and he was giving his wee mate directions.

At one point, they came to a roundabout.

“Which way, Tam?” asked Jinky.

“Straight through, Wee Man,” answered Tommy.

And with that, Jinky drove up onto the roundabout, through flower beds and all sorts of plants and down the other side.

“What the hell was that?” screamed Tommy.

“Well, you said straight through,” answered Jinky.

Tommy Gemmell will always be remembered as the guy who sent West German midfielder Helmut Haller into orbit when Scotland were playing in a World Cup qualifier in Hamburg in 1969.

The Scots were losing 3-2 in a crucial game that would go a long way to determining their hopes of playing in Mexico the following year.

With a minute to go, Tommy was charging through into his favourite position about 25 yards out and lining up a shot with his mighty right boot.

Haller snaked out a foot and blatantly tripped Tommy.

Tommy went down in a heap and was furious when the Swiss referee didn’t award the expected free-kick. His mood didn’t get any better when he saw Haller laughing.

The red mist came down and Tommy chased after the West German and attempted to put him over the stand.

Helmut Haller died in October 2012. I telephoned Tommy to get his reaction. Quick as a flash, he said: “I hope they’re not going to blame me.”

I won’t dwell on Tommy Gemmell’s latter years. My wife and I travelled through to Dunblane to go for lunch once a week for almost six years. It was always a pleasure to spend time in this bloke’s company.

We spoke on the phone virtually every day.

Of course, the chat always got around to Celtic. Tommy wasn’t able to get to as many games at Celtic Park as he would have liked, but he still retained a special interest in the club.

He would see the action on TV and read the reports. He always paid particular attention to the left-backs over the years. He rated the players who went that extra mile and realised that attack was the best form of defence.

Tommy liked Andy Lynch, who, of course, had started his career as an outside-left with Hearts.

He enjoyed the exciting forays of Emilio Izaguirre and I can tell you he had the highest regard for Kieran Tierney.

Genuinely, he spoke in glowing terms about the young man and I suppose if anyone could spot a left-back it would be Tommy Gemmell.

In the past six months or so, Tommy’s health was faltering. He was becoming increasingly frail, but I never once heard him moan about the situation.

One of his favourite sayings was: “Why should a living man ever complain?”

I didn’t think there was anything left for Tommy Gemmell to do to prove he was such an inspiration.

I was in awe of the courage, strength and character of the man.

One of his favourite actors was John Wayne.

Even Hollywood at its most far-fetched could never have captured the spirit and fortitude of Tommy Gemmell as he spent virtually the last three months of his incredible life bed-bound.

On December 7 last year, Tommy moved from Dunblane to the 3 Bridges care facility in the south side of Glasgow, ironically not far from Hampden Park.

He had fought and overcome so many obstacles as a footballer and a man, but this was one fight even the great Tommy Gemmell could not win.

Last Thursday morning around 1.30, Tommy passed away. His wife Mary, who had been at his bedside for practically an entire week, phoned me a few minutes later.

“Tommy’s gone,” she said. Those were the words we dreaded, but realised were inevitable.

You may believe you are well prepared for the news, but the words still hit you with the force of a wrecking ball.

At that moment, the world lost a good man, Celtic lost a favourite son, football lost a legend and my wife Gerda and I lost an exceptional friend.

More importantly, Mary lost a wonderful husband she called “the love of my life”.

Tommy Gemmell, after a decade of unparalleled success at Parkhead, was transferred to Nottingham Forest in December 1971. He was 28. And, of course, he didn’t want to leave Celtic.

It was only a matter of time before he returned to Paradise. And he managed that this morning.

Rest In Peace, old chum.

Alex Gordon

http://ift.tt/2m7mDld

#CelticNoise #Celtic #CelticFC #CelticQuickNews

[the-morgan]

Anthony Joshua has done MORE sparring to combat ring rust, laid off weights to focus on boxing

New Post has been published on https://vip.anthonyjoshua.club/anthony-joshua-has-done-more-sparring-to-combat-ring-rust-laid-off-weights-to-focus-on-boxing/

Anthony Joshua has done MORE sparring to combat ring rust, laid off weights to focus on boxing

Anthony Joshua has done MORE sparring to combat ring rust, laid off weights to focus on boxing, brought in Kubrat Pulev clones – and David Ghansa says training has felt like ‘being in Ivan Drago’s lab’ with TWO Covid tests a week

Anthony Joshua’s training camp for Kubrat Pulev was far from being normal 

Joshua’s camp has focused on similar aspects to his last one for Andy Ruiz Jr

Camp manager David Ghansa said some sparring partners were unable to fly in 

AJ’s sparring partners were handpicked to have similar attributes to Pulev

The Brit defends his world heavyweight titles against Pulev on Saturday night

Covid tests, logistical nightmares and bio-secure bubbles. This was far from anything that resembled a normal training camp for Anthony Joshua, but in his line of work you have to roll with the punches.

Ordinarily the operation runs smoothly and goes off without a hitch, but we are not in ordinary times. Coronavirus created hurdles that needed negotiating and made it impossible for Joshua’s team to run his camp business as usual.

There were times when plans had to be ripped up and thrown out of the window – at one stage Joshua’s entire schedule, for eating, sleeping and training, was plunged into disarray and had to be completely altered just because one local gym he was using in Sheffield was forced to change its working hours due to the government’s tier system.

  Anthony Joshua has focused heavily on his boxing in his training camp to fight Kubrat Pulev

  AJ defends his world heavyweight titles against the Bulgarian (R) this Saturday night in London

Even Joshua’s training manager David Ghansa admitted it felt more like being surrounded by scientists in ‘Ivan Drago’s lab’ than a normal camp.

‘We have been getting tested regularly, most of the time it’s twice a week,’ he told Sportsmail.

‘Every time we fly somebody in from a new country we are testing them.

‘Everyone is walking around with their masks on, distancing and working out in separate areas. It took a lot of getting used to but we adapted to it.’

Despite testing circumstances, Joshua and his team battled through the adversity in true Rocky spirit, making the best of a bad situation to get him primed and ready to deal with Kubrat Pulev.

Joshua has done less strength and conditioning training despite what he puts out on Instagram

  Joshua’s training manager David Ghansa (second to AJ’s right) revealed how different this camp was to normal ones because of coronavirus restrictions

  Ghansa admitted it felt more like being in ‘Ivan Drago’s lab’ (pictured) than a normal camp

Fortunately, any major change to Joshua’s training operation had already been tweaked before the Andy Ruiz Jr rematch, so that was one less adjustment they had to worry about.

Before that fight, Joshua had realigned his focus to his ringcraft and technique while his sparring was tailored to Ruiz Jr.

The fruits of his work in the gym bore evident results as a leaner and slicker Joshua jabbed and moved his way to redemption in the Saudi Arabian desert.

Pulev presents an entirely different puzzle to crack but Joshua and his team are confident the same algorithm which won AJ his world heavyweight titles back will serve him well again.

‘We have done the same as the Ruiz camp in that we have brought in sparring partners with similar styles to Pulev’s,’ Ghansa added.

‘We’ve watched him and dissected his game and looked at everything he does well. We know he has a good jab so instead of finding a carbon copy of Pulev we looked at who are the best jabbers around and who has got a similar jab to his.

‘We don’t care if you throw anything else so if you do come, obviously sparring is sparring, but we work with the partners so we got them to keep jabbing because it works for us.

Joshua (left) pictured with sparring partners Bryant Jennings (middle) and David Adeleye (right) and his camp manager Ghansa (front)

The Watford-born star is focusing on himself while his team adapt his regime around him

‘We got people in with all the right attributes but it’s quite funny because most of the time it’s the training team’s decision and AJ isn’t aware of it because he is more focused on what he’s doing and not what Pulev’s going to do.

‘So it’s our way of subconsciously getting him used to fighting that style or dealing with a certain problem without him being too aware of it.’

Joshua’s main sparring partners for his camp have been Martin Bakole, Bryant Jennings, Hosea Stewart, Gerald Washington, Delicious Orie, David Adeleye, Christian Thun, Frazer Clarke, Peter Kadiru and Fabio Wardley.

Ghansa revealed there were other heavyweights he wanted to recruit for sparring but was prevented because of travelling restrictions due to coronavirus.

‘At the start of camp we did worry that it seemed like we were going to struggle to get sparring partners over. There were a couple of fighters we wanted to fly in for this camp but couldn’t because of Covid,’ he said.

‘Namewise they are nothing to scream and shout about, it was more like trying to get people in last minute. There was a guy from Croatia but living in Russia. We wanted him to come in but he needed to get a Covid test, and the result had to be 48 hours before his flight but no test centres where he was could turn it around that quickly so it literally became impossible to use him.’

So what other problems has the pandemic caused? ‘When we started camp, Sheffield was put into tier two so a local gym we were using could only open between certain times,’ Ghansa said.

  Angel Fernandez (pictured on the pads with AJ) has played a role in his second camp with him

  Joshua has done more sparring in this camp than usual, having been out of the ring for a year

‘We had to completely flip AJ’s schedule because of it, so he was having to sleep earlier, train earlier, eat earlier. It became about just trying to cram everything in to a day.’

He added: ‘It has just been very different. We have partnered with a testing company and we work with a hotel anyway so have put the sparring partners up in there.

‘The hotel was only open for work purposes so there were NHS staff around in the same area as well. All the fighters were kept in the exact same room for the whole duration and tested regularly. It was pretty difficult for some of them.

‘Gerald Washington lives in Los Angeles so you can only imagine what great weather he gets and he’s by a beach and can go for runs by the sea and all of a sudden we put him in a small hotel room in sunny Sheffield as they say and it’s foggy everyday, there’s no foodstores open and he’s having to eat off Deliveroo. It wasn’t the easiest.’

Coaches Angel Fernandez and Joby Clayton, who were brought on board for the Ruiz rematch, are now permanent fixtures in Joshua’s team and played a key role in this camp alongside head trainer Rob McCracken.

The heavyweight champion was delighted by the adjustments he made for his last fight and subsequently wanted this camp to be similar, instead of reverting back to his old ways of preparation.

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Joshua’s team are aware of Pulev’s solid jab and picked sparring partners with similar ones

  Ghansa (middle) revealed everyone in AJ’s bubble is being tested for Covid twice a week

‘The camp has gone really well considering everything,’ Ghansa said. ‘Training wise we have just been teeing off from the last fight.

‘We’ve done a few things differently. His strength training for this camp, he hasn’t actually done too many weights. I know what we put out on Instagram might look a bit different, of him doing deadlifts or bench pressing, but the amount of time spent on it is not that much.

‘If you looked at his timetable, you’d be like: “Bloody hell it is just boxing”. All type of sessions are boxing now instead of fitness and strength.’

Come fight night, it will have been just over a year since Joshua last stepped through the ropes but Ghansa is convinced the long lay-off will not be a factor.

‘His year out shouldn’t show. He’s done a lot of sparring, a lot of sparring and that is the closest thing you can get to the real thing. You could say we’ve done extra just to be sure.’

There may have been a few more bumps in the road to get AJ battle ready, but they expect normal service to resume for him on Saturday night. Then next stop, Tyson Fury.

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