#the mouse shat on my couch is what happened

[kingdomsolicitude]

currently having the worst day of my entire life somebody pls send help and maybe a cat or dog or something

#the mouse shat on my couch is what happened #my landlord is playing ignorant but honestly fuck you you knew #I have not slept #I’ve cried twice though

[happyhollow-mellowmarsh]

A Day in the Life of Gumi

“Zzzz……”

The camera continued to film the sleeping bunny for a while longer, before a small banana was brought into the frame, closer to the camera. The stem was cracked, and immediately the rabbit woke up with a start, looking around for the source of the banana… Before letting out a yawn.

“Awawawa…” 

Yawn finished, the rabbit hopped over, and began to munch on the banana. A smattering of Japanese kana floated across the screen, with the corresponding English translations captioned.

“Ohayou, everybunny! It’s me, Bubblegum, everyone’s favourite bun-bun!” The subtitles spelled out even if the rabbit herself didn’t actually vocalize anything. “Sorry for waking up late, peko! I was celebrating my third birthday yesterday… There was so much soda and I tired myself out partying!”

As she continued to munch, the camera was set down on a table. Their owner stepped into the frame of view still holding the banana, revealing a young Japanese woman in a white dress and a black hair bow: those of you who had knowledge of the idol scene (or had just read the channel’s about page) recognized her as the underground idol known as TASOGARE, or Dusky to others.

“Mama’s here! I mean, she’s always behind the camera, but she’s here now! And I love her so much!” Her free hand gently ruffled the back of the bunny’s ears. “Awawa! She always pets me just right!” 

A soft melody started playing over the two of them, before the overlaid intro card spelled out just what you were in for:

The next scene faded into a lounge room, where Bubblegum was being chased by what looked to be a tiny italian greyhound, barking as he went. Watching them frolic from atop a couch was an interesting animal, one that looked like a large cat the size of a boxer dog, but had fluffy wool much like a sheep possessed. She regarded the two on the ground impassively, as if waiting for the perfect time to strike, or simply because there was nothing better to do.

“Today, I want to introduce everyone to my familiar friends! The iggy chasing me is Bucephalus, though most of us usually call him Buce as a nickname. Say something cool, Buce-kun!”

“Yipyipyipyipyiphellohellohello!!” The tiny dog finally caught up, and booped his snout onto the fluff of Bubblegum’s tail. “Tag!”

This prompted the bunny to turn tail and chase after him back, and would not have been able to catch up to his superior speed if not for the sudden appearance of the sheep-cat, who bounded off her couch and down to block one of the greyhound’s escape routes.

“And this is my cousin, Baaby! She’s a really strong and magical sheep-cat hybrid! Please don’t call her a shat, she doesn’t like that.”

He dodged the large feline with a whine. “No fair! Why are you on her side?” 

"Because you slept on me... again. And you drool in your sleep." Baaby mewled lazily, licking one of her paws.

The chase continued for a few seconds more, before Buce bounded straight into the camera and knocked it into a black screen, setting up the next scene transition.

An underground lake framed the scene this time, as Bubblegum hopped along the water’s edge. Finding the first of her two friends, she thumped a foot in a high-five against the tailfin of the winged magical fish that leapt out of the water.

“This is Astrid! She’s a fairy koi, and she likes to swim down here. Mama likes to help her friend feed Astrid whenever she has the time to.”

The camerawoman, presumably Dusky, holds out a handful of apple blossoms towards the water. The fairy koi’s eyes light up from a distance, and she jumps out of the lake in a miniature water bubble controlled by her own magic, before swimming in the air over to munch.

“OMNOMNOMNOMNOMNOM!!”

Finishing up all of the flowers, the fish let out a burp and smiled. “Thank you! Much appreciated! Astrid is very happy and full.” She blew some water bubbles into the air above Bubblegum before swimming back to the lake, popping her own water bubble as she did.

“See you around, Astri-tan!” Bubblegum waved, before continuing to hop along the perimeter.

Eventually, she came across a majestic horse-like creature resting on the side bank of the lake, with mottled green skin and a mane that looked more like seaweed than hair. A bright red eye cracked open at the sudden presence, as the sea-horse lifted her head to regard the rabbit.

“This is Undaria! She’s a kelpie, and she’s also my sister! Well, technically, half-sister, her dad and my mama are dating and all, but she’s my sister all the same! Say hi, Unda-chan!”

The kelpie neighed softly, prompting Bubblegum to hop closer. “What is it now, Bubbles?”

The bun hopped onto her half-sister’s back, before beginning to run her face through the kelp. “I’m helping to groom you! Because I can!” As she continued to trim through the kelpie’s mane, Bubblegum chirruped softly, “I love my sis so much! She’s the tsun-tsun to my dere-dere!”

“What does that even mean?” Undaria whinnied haughtily. It did not stop her from allowing the grooming to happen, or from gently setting the rabbit back down onto shore once she was done.

“See you later, nee-chan!” Bubblegum thumped happily, before skittering away to a new setting.

Now she was in the middle of a pumpkin patch, nibbling on some pumpkin leaves. “Hello again! My next friends are flying at the moment, so I’ll introduce you to them when they come down!”

A few seconds later, and they did. A white pigeon with streaks of purple and red in his wings glided down to land on a pumpkin, followed shortly after by a pale yellow budgie with a dash of small white spots on his head. They raised a wing in greeting. 

“I’m Berry!” The pigeon coos, before he scratched his head. “Still don’t know what kind of berry I’m supposed to be, but I guess it depends on the day.” He eyes the camera, and the person behind it extends a baked cracker, which he comes over to eat.

“And I’m Alkonost! I- ooh, cracker.” Distracted, the budgie hopped over to munch on the cracker. “Where was I? Oh yeah, I’m visiting today! Mom works somewhere else usually, but her girlfriend was in the area so I tagged along.”

While the birds were busy, Bubblegum moved further down the pumpkin patch; once they were done consuming the cracker, they led the camera over to their next pair of familiars.

Unsurprisingly, the massive clydesdale horse stood out first. Towering over Bubblegum and the two birds by a magnitude of at least ten, he had a dark brown mane with a matching brown tail, and a chocolate brown body with white patches around his face and legs. A loose red bandana was tied around his neck, and part of his mane had been braided to rest behind one of his ears.

At his feet was a strange snake-like creature, but this one was distinctly less long and slithery, and more compact and chubby. A glow stick necklace circled around this one’s neck, and his forked tongue stole chunks of pumpkin flesh as he vibed, brown and green stripes vibrating.

“This is Johnny Kane!” Bubblegum introduced, gently thumping her paw against the stallion’s leg. “I’ve been trying to get him interested in Unda-chan for a while now, but since he only comes to visit every now and then, there’s never really been much time to schedule a date.”

Judging by the long face on the horse, both metaphorically and literally, she was the only one in support of the idea. “Charmed.”

“And this is King!” Despite the natural tendency for rabbits to fear snakes, she approached him with no fear whatsoever. “He’s a tsuchinoko! Yes, tsuchinoko real. Do you wanna say anything?”

“Flpflpflpflpflp…” Retracting his tongue, King gave a toothy half-smile. “I mean… party rock is in the house tonight? I dunno, but I’m always down to have some fun.”

While rabbits weren’t usually capable of smiling, Bubblegum could trill happy vibes very well. “Aren’t we all? Thank you guys for showing up, I’m going to go find the others now. Stay sweet!”

Hopping away, she sped past the camera to the final pit stop in her adventure quest, a snazzy recreation room that contained a karaoke machine and a countertop bar. As she hopped inside, something ran outside, a black blur of an animal with the briefest flash of yellow eyes.

“That was Teto! It’s alright if we didn’t get to see her, she’s not very sociable.” Bubblegum sniffed. “Unlike the other black cat in the mansion… my mom’s boss, Trouble!”

She pauses in her tracks, scrunching up her face. “At least I know I’ve seen her as a black cat at some point a while ago… Maybe she likes transformation magic? Or maybe that’s just her fursona.”

Hopping onto a bar stool, the rabbit came face to face with a rooster on another stool. This was no ordinary rooster however, as instead of brown or white feathers, every inch of the sun bird’s body was covered in multicoloured flechettes. Both his comb and tail feathers had little balls of what looked to be concentrated fire, and he let out a cocky crow at the sight of the camera.

“This is Bata! He’s a sarima… sarima…” The subtitles were clearly poking fun at Bata’s species, even if both rabbit and mistress probably knew what he was. “Sun chicken! He’s a baby.”

“I am not!” He clucked back. “I am a very proud rooster who eats lots of big man food and can still find the time to give my Dad feather hugs whenever he wants them!”

Bubblegum blinked. “That’s… oddly specific.”

“Shush, don’t judge me, you get hugs from your momma all the time too.” He stuck out his tongue.

“Fair enough!” Bubblegum conceded with a trill. “And you will always be a baby because that’s what I remember you as when you were still a chick. A baby!”

Bata let out a squawk, preening his feathers. “Lies! Slander! I’m bigger than you, Bubble-brain!”

The two continued their friendly banter as Dusky stepped into view and pressed the service bell on the bar’s top. A little scratching noise was heard, before a mouse scampered up onto the bar: this mouse looked to be a little old, with a small witch’s hat that had probably seen better days, but he nonetheless squeaked cheerily to ask for orders.

“A tall glass of apple cider, please. And some water for them.” Dusky requested, giving the mouse a gentle pat on the head. The mouse moved to go make those drinks, and seconds later the order was set out in front of all three of the bar’s current occupants.

“And that’s Jeffrey! He was, um… he belonged to mom’s teacher before she passed away, but he’s still working here out of loyalty to my mom’s bosses. Really great mouse, who serves great drinks!” Bubblegum happily starts lapping at the water.

Once they were done, the idol scooped up her rabbit, waved goodbye to the other two familiars and walked out of the door. The scene cut back to the inside of their room, where Bubblegum is set down gently, and the bun hops around the room to exercise, just a little.

“As you can see, there’s a whole bunch of friends here with me in the mansion, and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and some of them are plenty magical, too!” Rubbing the back of her ears with a paw, Bubblegum yawned. “Familiar or not though… we’re still like everyday animals and we all have our own needs. Food, sleep, and of course, love!”

Dusky shows up one last time, simply to press a kiss onto Bubblegum’s eager forehead. “And I’ll always give you as much love as I can.”

“Yay! That’s all for tonight! I’ve been Bubblegum, and I wish you all a gumi-goodnight. Goodbye!” While the outro music played, Bubblegum hopped around in a circle before she binkied herself into her bed, waving at the camera one last time before the ending card signalled the vlog’s end.