A Mabel-ified Doofenshmirtz meme to paraphrase one of her lines from chapter 72 of The Man Downstairs as requested by @ramblesanddragons (Thank you!)
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some fanart of the fic the man downstairs by @rum-and-shattered-dreams!! i love this au and fic sm its one of my all time favs, and this scene is one of my favourite parts (:
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actually i’m still feeling insane thinking about dee and dennis and the presence of frank in the gang. if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. you escape, you run. to university where i’m meant to be a Real Person, This is how we start again, and we run away to the real world. but you can’t make it. whatever. we couldn’t stick out college. dee set her roommate on fire. you will find him even when he is not there. run back to those losers from high school. you start again as Them. it’s just us and this bar, invincible, invisible to the world, just living where We matter. bringing in a new life at paddys. but then he comes back. mom died. no she didn’t. i hate you. dad, dennis, dee. mac and charlie love him, he moves in with charlie even. don’t you remember? the angry man. no, you hid it too well, you don’t need to tell the world your business, but surely mac and charlie knew. why we stopped having sleepovers at home. why we ran away. ran to them for safety. a life where your dad didn’t exist. or he was locked away. but he’s back and i hate you. dad/dennis/dee. back to acting out his wars, but moms not here for my station my home base my target. it’s just me and you. and mac and charlie. and he’s not even our dad. but if you’re raised with an angry man in your house, there will always be an angry man in your house. he’s just a man. and you’re right he wasn’t always Angry. i’m just being stupid and looking for pity you’re right. i wish he was angry more. i wish he didn’t only tell dee he loved her. i wish he cared about us enough to be Angry enough that we can remember. he might be charlie’s father. oh. why does charlie get his love. i Hate you. you’re too much like mom / like him. this was meant to be some faraway land without fathers. a solstice. if one day you find that there is no angry man in your house. i can’t be successful i can’t love you. it’s impossible to pass his test. frank sets sweet dee on fire. i can’t be a Person with him Watching. so i hate you. you will go find one and invite him in. roller rink it’s their foggy memories and fantasies, frank ruined me, He’s the evil twist in fate that ruined me, it was all Him.
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The Man Downstairs Status Report - March 25, 2023
I’ve set this on hiatus for now but still plan to get back to it both for those who are interested in seeing where it goes and because it will bother me that it’s unfinished. (Also still planning to get back to Heroism is Subjective someday for the same reasons).
As mentioned in a previous post, it’s been a bad few months depression-wise and I’m working with my doctors to try to get it figured out. There’s nothing particularly bad or dangerous going on at the moment, though (just the sort of emotional aftermath of a bunch of stuff from last year - probably a lot of big stuff I don’t really know how to express or feel so everything has shut down instead). In fact, there are a lot of things I feel fortunate for right now even through the overall apathetic blah. Just going to keep trying to take the next step that seems like it’s in a useful direction and hope for the best.
Thanks everyone for reading along and for being patient with updates! I just need to regain the ability to feel things to actually get into a good place to write again.
Virtual hugs to you all!
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"Get married son and see, how happy you will be"
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atleast he's being honest but my manager getting annoyed at me for.... not going as fast as other ppl at my job when I've opened the shop like 3 times is so debilitating like apparently there are faster ways to do this yet he never shows me how it's done? he just gets annoyed and says "I want to be annoyed at you but I cant because you haven't done anything wrong." if the problem is my pace and there are solutions to this show me??? this happened with the sandwich shit too, I was told I was going too slow and I eventually had to say "instead of chastising me why don't you show me the supposed faster way?" like what is wrong with these people 😭😭😭
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Guess I gotta grow up.
Afraid of risks. Afraid of responsibility greater than caring for a pet, and even more, afraid of failing responsibilities, afraid of being punished for my failures, and irrationally, a fear of being sued. Afraid of learning how to drive. I realized last weekend that while the start of my life had some shit, I've been extremely lucky in terms of both grief/loss and health. I don't have any close friends or family who have died, only parents of friends or family friends. My physical health, and those closest to me has been good, manageable. I got to have a lot of fun in my 20s too despite all of my depression.
Ian and I talked about the next 5, 10 years of our lives. We talked about how he wants to help fix up, and hopefully live in his dad's house up north and keep the land in his family and how deeply important it is to him, especially as an indigenous person to hold land. We talked about his parents' aging bodies and the fact they will need our care and help soon. We talked about his parent's partners and the role they would continue to have in their lives and care. And life is so fleeting, things could change, the timeline could accelerate at any moment. It could be his dad, his mom, or even my mom who needs help first, and there's a 4 hour drive from his mom's city to his dad's, and a fucking 6+ hour drive to get to where MY mother lives from the house he wants us to move into eventually.
I'm deeply afraid of change, I have always been resistant to moving onto a new phase of my life and honestly, with the exception of the feeling that I am somehow losing friends every week, I am really fond of this stage of my life. I got through the pandemic and back into the field I originally went to fucking school for, I was very close to giving up entirely on that thought back in 2019. I worked so hard to be here, to be as healthy as I am. I like being in my 30s, I like the way I look finally (mostly, at least, my self-hatred has cooled and matured). I worked so hard to be in a place I am happy to call home, in a neighbourhood I absolutely love living in. I love Toronto. I love my city. I love all the fucked up people who live here. I love the independence and empowerment this city gave me. It doesn't quite feel like I'm being "pushed out" of here, although a few of my friends literally have been. It feels like... this just might not be my home soon and I might not have much choice in that.
I don't know how I'm going to handle those inevitable moments of grief. I legitimately have no idea because I have never experienced real loss before. I don't know how my body will take this stress on. I can't even visualize my life in 10 years. Granted, I have never been able to do that very well, look into the future, but I can't imagine anything other than the extra wrinkles we'll have. Who will be there with me, who will be my community then? All I know is if I don't have Ian by my side I don't think I can get through it.
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