#the living dsmp au fixes this but i still consider that an au so i don't include it when writing or reading analysis posts

[crystalcatgamer]

Fic Stats Game

Got a ping from @foolofatook001 for this one. And wow, who would have guessed, it’s almost all DSMP. Even after I anon-ed and orphaned a few lol. God that phase was so wild. And I’m sinking back into it goddamnit

rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the fewest words.

Most hits: There are days where I don’t know the person in the mirror (And there are days I don’t care) with 24,247 hits~! It’s Tommy-centric, villain Dream, filled with dehumanization angst, and hopes of a happy ending with SBI at the end of the road. Currently unfinished and I’m going to update it in three years <3

Second most kudos: Run, run (Here comes the boy with 1,394 kudos! This is actually my favourite multi-chaptered fic, and I admit, the fact that it’s actually completed (though not in the overall series, haha…) plays a big part. Werewolf!SBI, centred around Tommy meeting them for the first time! Some discduo too, because I’m as much a sucker for big brother Dream as I am for bad guy Dream. It’s a duality, I know.

Third most comments: Look what you've done (Do you regret playing with our lives?) with 183 comments. It’s a typical content creators get booted into the Dream SMP (near their counterparts!) fic. Unfinished, and admittedly I haven’t touched it due to regular controversy on the content creators. But recently I’m like, fuck it, DSMP lives in 2021, and so does this fic, and so am I, so I’m probably going to just go ahead and ignore 2023 drama. After all, I’m writing about the ccs’ personas and not their true selves! I’m having fun and that’s what matters ✨

Fourth most bookmarks: I am back with Run, run (Here comes the boy at 209 bookmarks! All hail werewolf AU. I need to write the doomsday trio prequel sometime. Eventually. Ahah. 🤍

Fifth most words: I wish for this no more (I wish to be fixed) with a cute 9,319 words. This is Doll!Tommy on the DSMP with bad SBI, bad Dream, bad bunch of people except my beloved benchtrio. It’s old, unfinished, and I don’t enjoy it much these days, but I do enjoy certain chapters where I feel like I did pretty good. The plot doesn’t call to me much anymore especially since I wrote it because I knew people would like it back then. It’s still a pretty okay relic from 2021, all things considered.

Least words: These ice cold hands of yours with 593 words. It’s a (platonic) Ganyu and Xiao fic from Genshin Impact, written for Whumptober 2022 featuring a fight with some Fatui! Xiaoyu, either platonic or romantic, is quite dear to me. They are both Adepti that fought by Rex Lapis’ side, and now Ganyu is learning from Xiao how to become stronger in order to protect Liyue with him! It’s great! It’s cute! They are family!

Andddd I’ll tag @polynomialpandemic, @eclectickefi and @imperialkatwala! Anyone else can join, and you’re not obligated to either. May your dreams be temporary and your rest be pleasant, adios!

#tag game #got a game for me #my family gets a personal tag #this was fun

[quaranmine]

okay this is kinda a bad take because you have to suspend your disbelief for Everything when it comes to the dream smp plot but sometimes I see yall debating government and politics of the server and I can't take it seriously because my brain just says ah yes. the country. the country with like FIVE citizens

of course they can't do anything about this because there's a limited amount of people on the server they just gotta roleplay with what they have but sometimes it's super funny when everybody is passionately debating, idk, like dictatorships or whatever as if everybody isn't literally neighbors with whatever character that is. Like I KNOW they have a plot to uphold but since it's a game everybody has the ability to grind and get decked out gear and just....leave and build whatever they want lol

#the living dsmp au fixes this but i still consider that an au so i don't include it when writing or reading analysis posts #like can you imagine the power I'd have if I'd been neighbors with trump and there was bo secret service #and i had all the abilities and gear that u can get in minecraft??? #politics over. just deck em #dream smp #does this post make sense? i just mean i cant take the super serious analyses seriously when they talk abt a country of 4 or 5 people lol #government works differently in this fantasy world. it has to cause minecraft inherently gives each person more power #the power to make whatever they need and build whatever they need #like bro idk how to make a sword but for them it's just another tuesday to make and use weapons #and i cant afford to or know how to make a house #but again. just another Tuesday for them #so when analyzing the political structure of the server....you GOTTA take that into account #i dont think anyone on the server can be oppressed the same way people are under real life governments #because they inherently have more power than we do in real life #dsmp #oh god i wrote m*necraft in some of my tag rambles i hope it doesn't show up in the maintag #i refuse to rewrite my tags though I'm in too deep. tumblr give me tag editing plssss

[give-grian-rights]

.....is there anymore worship au? I'm starving 😭 I checked everywhere

THERE'S ALWAYS POTENTIAL FOR MORE WORSHIP AU.

remember: literally anyone can write about my aus. whenever .please . i INVITE AND ENCOURAGE YOU TO DO SO . and @ or message me them because i am blind . and may not notice !

but to throw in my own hat,,

y'know how Grian's closing up his Hermitcraft season a bit early?

Grian exhausted almost everything he could reasonably do before season 7 came to an official close. So, after he's satisfied with what he's done for the season, he decided to bring his creative energy somewhere else, while he bides his time.

Dream SMP.

After months of casually talking to Techno, during MCC, or MCC practice, and occasional sprees of Techno breaking into the server with gifts (Which may or may not have included a human sacrifice, who could tell?) Grian decides to see the hell of a server himself.

AND THIS COULD GO ONE OF SEVERAL WAYS. DEPENDING ON YOUR INTERPRETATION OF DREAM SMP, IN A CONTEXT WHERE MCC CAN CONEXIST.

option one: Dream SMP is just LARP . just . fucking . reject theater kids who got themselves in WAY TO DEEP and now almost everyday on the server is them larping or planning out/building a scene. They're all friends and all good, some of the out-there stuff can absolutely still be canon and real, but played up or altered a bit for the sake of their story. This lends to great things such as H, Tubbo, and Fundy leaving for the weekend for Vault Hunters and at the end of the day, having people back on DSMP call them up to frantically try and explain the day's story, if they actually got something done instead of break character and go apeshit.

option two: everything in the server is real and now Grian volunteered for an absolute shitshow . AND THIS HAS OPTOINS.

version one: he thinks everything is a game and fun story n lore with friends like on Hermitcraft . it's not . he doesn't realize this until he realizes how legitimately traumatized and scarred the teenagers of the server are, along with many others.

version two: he's immediately swooped away by Techno, who tries to explain it as honestly as possible. He's possibly already told a lot to Grian, anyway. Techno wouldn't actively and maliciously lie to the person who, for this au, is literally considered a piglin god. But he'd be brief and tell things from his side.

No matter what, Grian would try and fix the server, and their relationships. He'd probably be FURIOUS with Technoblade once he find out his contribution to the trauma that Tubbo and Tommy both faced, but he can't be to mad. It's not like he didn't ruin his fair share of lives, in his lifetime.

Grian would probably try and improve the general living conditions of everyone. Help finish Bee n Boo's mansion, make sure Tommy had his own room inside- or a nice house, as well, in Snowchester He'd then go around and see who else on the server needed help in terms of living conditions, and would fix whatever he could. Creeprholes, destroyed crop fields, broken paths filled in with anything, etc.

He'd probably spend a little bit of time everywhere, trying to get to know the people. Especially the teens. After the minor falling out with Techno, he'd probably ask to stay in Snowchester. He'd build up a good few things there, and get to talk with everyone there, while doing it to try and piece together what happened.

Grian's an eldtrich god because of Evo . he would not hesitate to make people come together and fucking COMMUNICATE .

it's 2am and i haven't even gotten to MENTION THE BRANCH OF THE WORSHIP AU WHERE DREAM'S INVOLVED IN THE CULT TOO .

SO MANY IDEAS . and i welcome different takes in the reblogs .

#dsmp x hc #dsmp x hermitcraft #grian #worship au #afk grian's face looks like chiseled blackstone so he's a god now and techno's a simp #dream smp au #dsmp au #dsmp crossover #dsmp technoblade #dsmp techno #mika-posts

[redorich]

First of all I really love your Hermit Canyon au and have read throughathe posts multiple times. Secondly I think Tango deserves to open up a bedrock service to trap the unsuspecting dsmp members. And thirdly I'm a bit sad that this au is going to be coming to an end but it's been lovely to read.

There's a problem on the Dream SMP that needs to be addressed. None of them realize that canon lives are gone, because they don't lose them often enough to notice. The Hermits wrack their brains trying to come up with a solution, some way to prove it.

Grian suggests a death game, like Demise. The idea is immediately vetoed. They're trying not to traumatize these people further, thank you. Joe suggests a treatise on the fleeting nature of life and how embracing it in order to reject humanity and become primatial will allow one to achieve a higher state of being which can then be conflated with the concept of immortal life. Just as Joe is really hyping himself up, getting ready to write and mass-distribute a pamphlet like Thomas Paine's Common Sense, Cleo bluntly informs him that that's too many words. Next option.

Some ideas are thrown around of Hermits killing each other in fun games to show the other players that a little bit of death is harmless, a fun treat.

Meanwhile, Scar, who forgot to show up to the meeting, is up on the surface wandering around as he surveys the land for a good spot to put a megabase. This would be much easier with an elytra; however, when he asked Xisuma why they can't go to the end here Scar was bombarded with a slew of confusing admin words. He's sure Xisuma will explain later.

There's a little shop down the road that Scar hasn't seen before. He's certain that it has Hermit written all over it-- not literally, of course, but the structure, size, and blocks used make it obvious. There's a group of native Dream SMP players huddled around the entrance, which grabs his attention.

"Well hello there," he says, channelling his inner Obi Wan Kenobi as he always does when he says that.

The other players, who he recognizes as Foolish, Tubbo, and Ranboo, whisper among themselves and immediately straighten up when he addresses them. It's as though they're attempting to say with their body language, Hello! No shenanigans here, nope, none at all.

"Hello," Foolish says. "Would you happen to know who built this store?"

Scar makes a considering noise in the back of his throat, pacing around the side of the build and back as he tries to guess. "Definitely a Hermit," he says. "and probably one of the redstoners. This doesn't look like Mumbo-- or Etho for that matter... Maybe Doc, or possibly Tango or Impulse? That would be my guess."

The nervous-looking ender-boy (Ranboo, Scar believes) leans down to Tubbo's height to whisper in his ear. Tubbo nods, waits a second, nods again, and Ranboo stands back up.

"Are they trustworthy?" Tubbo says.

Scar's brows draw together slightly at the question, wondering what the group is getting at. "What do you mean?"

"Jack went in that shop half an hour ago, and he still hasn't come out yet," Foolish says plainly.

"I'm sure it's nothing," Scar says with a relaxed smile, opening the door. "I'll go check on him, see? There's nothing dangero--"

The others watch as a piston triggers and Scar immediately plummets into a hole far below. The piston fires again and covers up the scene of the crime as though nothing ever happened. Tubbo snorts a laugh, and Ranboo and Foolish look at each other over Tubbo's head.

------------

Jack bashes his forehead against the bedrock in front of him like he has been doing for the past half-hour. He's absolutely stuck, and the only way out is death.

All of the sudden, another man's voice comes screaming toward the bottom of the hole, and before he knows it the piston has activated and two people are stuck in this bedrock box.

"Hello there," the other man says. "My name's Scar."

"Jack. It's a pleasure. I don't suppose you have any ender pearls?"

Scar considers. "No, but you can punch me to death and I can come back with some."

What? Hello??? Is this man not worried about canon death??? Jack expresses this to the man in vulgar detail, and though the man winces at the language he seems otherwise unperturbed. With a sigh, Jack acquiesces and punches the man to death. Scar apparently had full saturation when he fell into the hole, so it takes quite a while.

Scar explodes into a shower of items and Jack can't help but feel a little bad for killing him, even if it's what he wanted... Until he sees one of the man's items. A trap door. Quickly, he uses it to escape, scooping up all of Scar's items and climbing a tower of scaffolding to the surface. Up top, he's greeted by Foolish, Tubbo, Ranboo, and a red-faced and huffing Scar who must have run the entire way back all the way from the canyon.

"Oh, how did you get out?" Scar says curiously.

"You had trapdoors on you, you dumb shit!"

"Huh. I forgot about those. Aw man, my levels!"

Jack sputters in his anger. "Wh-- Do you-- How are you not bothered by this?! What if that was a canon life?!"

Ranboo watches the conversation go back and forth like a tennis match.

A look of realization comes across Scar's face. "That's right," he says, "I forgot you Dream SMP guys have that whole thing about dying-- Xisuma fixed that."

Everyone goes dead silent. Finally, Jack utters, "...Huh?"

"Yeah, no, dying isn't permanent anymore," Scar says.

Jack, who literally crawled his way out of Hell at one point in time, knows with a sinking feeling in his soul that Scar is telling the truth. Fuck the Hermits, he thinks. What the fuck.

#mcyt #hc x dsmp #hermit canyon au #grian #joe hills #zombiecleo #goodtimeswithscar #xisuma #tubbo #ranboo #jack manifold #foolish gamers #me.cpp

[redorich]

I absolutely adore the hermit canyon au both because you have such a fun writing style and because it just makes it so blatantly clear how much of a different level the hermits are on compared to the dsmp folks. Power mad admin who's effectively a god on the server? Just vore him, it's fine! Spooky egg that brings madness and suffering to everyone who interacts with it? Grian can handle it, give him 30 seconds. It's such a good portrayal of their differences and I'm absolutely delighted by it

thank you!! i try very hard to cultivate a writing style that's fun, rather than a slog. and yes, the difference in power level is absolutely one of my favorite tropes, so i'm glad so many people enjoyed it! speaking of the hermits' casual wielding of insane levels of power.....

"So, how are you going to fix the Era Three life system anyway?" Cleo asks. She and Xisuma are casually walking down the main hall of the canyon.

Xisuma never goes anywhere alone anymore. Even though a survivable amount of magic has been returned to the Dream SMP server and Xisuma is no longer infirm, all those months of staying by his side have left a lasting impression.

"Hm, it basically comes down to a charisma check-- have you ever played Dungeons and Dragons, Cleo?"

"Not really," Cleo admits, "but Joe does and he's talked about it before. Charisma check?"

Xisuma stops walking, opening the door to the small meeting room in the heart of the canyon and holding the door open for Cleo. As she passes through, he explains.

"We have a source of magic, and we have a plan to implement it. The only obstacle is convincing Mojang that they should; hence, charisma check."

"Hey, Xisuma," Joe greets as the admin follows behind Cleo.

"Hello, Joe," Xisuma returns, surveying the room. The chair at the far end of the table has been left open for the admin, and unlike the meeting with the Dream SMP representatives, the Hermits don't give a fuck about who sits where and what that says about their status.

Doc is sitting in the place two seats from Xisuma's spot, leaning back in his chair so that only two of its legs are on the ground and his croc-clad creeper toes are kicked up on the edge of the table. A few spaces down is Joe, minding his business and reading a book (upside down-- it's more of a challenge that way) and across from Joe is Etho, sitting patiently.

With a shrug, Cleo snags the nearest chair and turns it around so she can sit in it backwards and still face the table. No one planned on her being here, and she has no idea what's going on, but no one has really told her to leave, so that's pretty much implicit permission.

After making his way to his seat, Xisuma addresses the table. "Are we all ready? Etho, do you think you can convince whoever shows up?"

Etho hums in thought for a moment. "Yeah, I can do that. Still need to actually get one of the gods here, though."

"I'm on it," Doc says, already on his communicator.

Cleo squints at Doc. "You have the gods on speed dial?"

Doc shrugs. "We text sometimes."

"About what?!" Cleo says.

"Basketball."

Cleo squints at Doc. "Don't you, like, hold a grudge or something against Dinnerbone? I mean, he did literally rip off your arm."

"Got a cool robot arm out of it, though," Doc says placidly. "It's got a screwdriver in it."

"Like a Swiss army knife?" Joe chimes in, putting down his book.

"Yeah," Doc says proudly, "bottle opener too-- for beer."

"As fascinating as Doc's Sonic Screwdriver arm is, we do have something to be doing," Xisuma reminds the group wryly.

"Oh yeah," Doc says. "Agnes is coming."

Cleo drums her fingers on the table. "When will she be here-- oh!"

A radiant figure emitting soft yellow light appears on top of the table; although the figure is bright, it doesn't hurt to look at. The glow dims and the light coalesces into a small woman with pale yellow hair. The woman-- presumably Agnes of the Mojang pantheon-- opts to sit side-saddle on the table instead of in a chair.

"Hello! It's nice to see you again, Doc," she says, "oh, and Etho as well-- and Herobrine?"

"I go by Joe now," the man says simply.

Agnes smiles. "My bad, Joe. Now, what did you need me for, Doc?"

"Er, it's actually about the three-life system," Xisuma cuts in.

"Yes? What about it?" Agnes tilts her head.

"It was... a good system, doing what you could with the lack of magic," Xisuma says diplomatically, "but we think we've found a way to fix things. Joe?"

Joe takes over, setting his book down on the table after carefully bookmarking his place. "So the issue is the lack of magic, right? You couldn't support updates and player respawns after Notch took what he did."

"This is correct," Agnes says with a service industry smile, likely not appreciating the reminder of her pantheon's failure.

"So, use the In Between," Joe says. "It's got so much extra magic that it keeps sending people back in time; I was stumped on a way to fix it, but if you can give the magic to the players it's a win-win."

Eyebrows raising to her hairline, Agnes's face falls into a considering moue. "I'd much rather use it to push the next update," she says. "The Caves and Cliffs update is one of the biggest yet."

Cleo's unbeating heart sinks in her chest. Is this it? Is their only way to help these people going to be appropriated by well-meaning yet selfish gods?

"People are dying!" Cleo shouts. "Isn't that more important than your stupid update?!"

Agnes turns to look at her for the first time, and Cleo refuses to be afraid.

"I know it must sound callous of me, but... well, people die," Agnes says gently. "They always do. Even Era One players aren't immune. The better thing to do would be to improve their quality of life while they can still live it."

Shoulders rising in anger as she suppresses the urge to bite and kill and devour, Cleo takes a breath to rage when Etho of all people cuts in.

"Remember that IOU you gave me?" he says. There's a twinkle in his eye that only intensifies when Agnes groans.

"Don't tell me," she says. "You're seriously going to use that now? On this? I gave it to you centuries ago, I thought you'd forgotten!"

"Nope," Etho crows, "just saving it for a special occasion."

Agnes sighs, bringing a hand to her temple. "And what am I supposed to do about the Caves and Cliffs update?" she says tiredly.

"Cut it in half?" Etho shrugs.

"...Fine." Agnes disappears, dimming the room from the lack of her godly presence. Within a few seconds (relatively speaking, as time is more of a suggestion than a rule when you're powerful enough), a wave of magic washes over the group. It explodes outward from the table like ripples from a cannon ball, washing over the entire server. The change is palpable.

"Etho, I could kiss you right now," Cleo says, relieved beyond measure.

"Please don't," he says with a smile. "After all, I don't know where your mouth's been."

Cleo raises an unimpressed eyebrow, pretending to mull the situation over.

"Yeah, you make a good point," she says, and the group bursts into laughter.

#mcyt #hc x dsmp #hermit canyon au #zombiecleo #xisuma #joe hills #docm77 #ethoslab #me.cpp