#the little faces look so weird bc i had to mix together a bunch of different ones sob | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

fbfh · 3 years

Text

thankful for my (found) family - demisquad + reader thanksgiving special

2.4k

platonic everyone + reader, implied future/potential leo x reader if you look real close, thalia has a girlfriend that I had to make up bc they never mention hunters of artemis but go off rick, calypso is not included bc she acts more like an antagonist imo, gif doesn’t have anything to do with it besides nostalgia lmao

happy thanksgiving <33

You and Leo are cooking in the kitchen

You have been all day

The doorbell rings, and Annabeth goes to answer, binder full of travel plans in hand

“That should be-”

Clarisse enters with a loud greeting and a hug to everyone in arms reach

Percy’s loud cheers echo from the living room as he calls out the new score of the football game he’s keeping everyone updated on

She drops her bag, hopping over the back of the couch to watch with Percy

“Woah woah, catch me up Jackson! What'd I miss?”

Hazel is helping Rachel make cute diy table settings and party favors

Rachel, as with most art projects she takes on, is very focused on making it Martha Stewart levels of cute and amazing

Frank and Piper are keeping everyone updated on the parade

Frank pops down the stairs, calling out, “The last performance just ended, the dog show starts in 5!”

Hazel drops what she's doing and exclaims, “THERE’S A DOG SHOW?!”

She runs upstairs to watch with Frank, her yellow dress swishing behind her

You chuckle, calling over to Annabeth as you mix batter in a bowl, " Hey Annabeth, how are the travel plans looking?"

She shuffles through some papers in her binder

"Magnus and Alex had another layover, but they should still be able to make it in time. Thalia and her hunter friend will be here in 10, and Travis's flight got delayed because of a sudden snow storm."

"Really?" You reply, "This time of year? That's pretty ironic for a son of Hermes..."

"I know, I'm looking at some shuttle services to see if that would be faster…" Annabeth replies

Nico enters, stealing a couple appetizers, "This is so stupid, I could just go get him."

Will, right behind him, eats the appetizer Nico hands him and replies, "No you can't. Doctors orders."

Nico starts to protest

Will shoots him a look

"Boyfriend's orders."

Nico tries in vain to stare him down, "… Va’ a farti fottere." he says, cracking a smile

"Love you too," Will counters

You and Leo shoo them out of the kitchen before they steal more of your recipes

Jason and Grover walk by with a bunch of pillows and blankets, setting up guest rooms.

Grover calls through the pile of fluff he's carrying, "Hey, we're gonna need a few more pillows-"

Jason, over his pile of bedding, corrects, "A lot more!" And Annabeth runs over to help carry some of the blankets he's about to drop

"-A lot more pillows…"

You grab your keys

"okay uh… Grover, do you want to head to the store to get some more pillows-"

Leo, vigorously sautéing something adds over his shoulder, "And basil! And, uh… red wine vinegar, olive oil, and potatoes."

You rip a piece of paper off the notepad on the fridge and scribble a quick list

You're probably going to need some more ice, too

Tyson, very distressed, holds up an empty container of mellowcream pumpkins, declaring, "THERE'S NO MORE BABY PUMPKINS!" :(

you loudly add candy pumpkins to the list

Rachel approaches.

"Are you going to the store?"

"Yeah," you reply, "how's crafting going? You need anything? "

"We're almost out of glitter and mod podge. It's not looking good. We could use some more fake leaves, warm toned glitter, and rhinestones - the nice ones."

Grover looks slightly lost

You narrate as you add to the list, "Fancy rhinestones, mod podge, fake leaves, red, yellow, orange, and brown glitter…"

Tyson, still distressed, yells, "AND BABY PUMPKINS!"

You hold up the paper, "Already on the list, bud, Grover's gonna get them!"

"What if he gets the wrong kind?" Tyson asks

You, turn to Grover quietly, "Grover, can you take Tyson?"

Grover nods

"Hey Tyson, Grover has a lot of stuff to get, could you go be his shopping buddy? That way you can pick out the right baby pumpkins."

He doesn't look convinced

He wants to keep working on a secret project he’s been doing out by the garage

"And…" you add, sweetening the deal, "you can get two candies for the way home."

He agrees

You turn to Grover; "I'll call you guys an uber-"

"I'll drive."

You all turn around, shocked to see Reyna awake.

You thought she was still passed out

She showed up at 9am and immediately fell asleep from traveling all night

"Reyna, hi! Are you sure-"

"We'll be fine, I need to stretch my legs a little." She proves by rolling her shoulders

"Okay, as long as you're sure," you hand her the paper, re-entering the kitchen

She takes the paper from your hand as you shut off the beeping timer and grab a pair of oven mitts from the drawer

Reyna examines the paper, "...This is a weird list. Where are we supposed to get all this?"

Leo moves to the side as you pull out the rolls from the oven, using tongs to set them on a wire cooling rack, "Maybe target?"

Leo, still very focused on cooking, announces, "If you get me generic brand spices I will burn this place to the ground."

"O-kay," you turn back to Reyna, laughing, "there's a Wegmans and a Joanne's right next to the TJ Maxx, you can probably find everything there."

"We'll be back within the hour." She states, taking your keys.

Rachel meets her at the door. "Here, use my card. Also, make sure you get the flat backed swarovski crystals. And please pick some glitter with a nice color shift!"

You remind them to call or text with any questions and be safe

Heading back into the kitchen, you fill up a big bowl with carrots, celery, cucumbers, and mushrooms

You grab two cutting boards, knives, peelers, and a plastic bag for the peels, tips, and tails

You set it all down on the coffee table in front Percy and Clarisse

“Can you guys get the relish tray started?”

They agree, and immediately return to yelling at the referee

You shake your head laughing, and head back to the kitchen

“How we looking, Sparky?”

“Stuffing cups just went up in the oven, pie crust dough is chilling, and the green beans are almost done sauteeing. Rolls are cooling - could you stir the cranberry sauce? - and… the turkey is going up as soon as the stuffing is out.”

You stir the sauce as you continue talking

“Great! We’re making good time so far. Oh, I found a recipe for brown sugar pie, which Frank requested - apparently it’s a Canadian Thanksgiving thing - so I figured if you’re doing turkey I can handle the pies.”

He pours some cooking wine into the pan, and shakes it as the alcohol burns off

“Sounds like a plan, babycakes.”

You laugh at the nickname, and grab butter, salt, some herbs, and a stick blender to finish the potatoes

A few minutes later, you hear the door open

Reyna and the boys are back already? That was quick

You wonder if they need help bringing groceries in

“Eeeey get over here you knucklehead!”

Bags drop, and you hear Jason laughing in protest

You poke your head out of the kitchen, and see Thalia with Jason in a headlock

In spite of the fact that he’s about half a foot taller than her, she’s still noogie-ing him, pretending she can’t hear him objecting through his laughs

She finally lets him go, greeting everyone as he adjusts his glasses

She bear hugs Annabeth, punches Percy in the arm, and high fives and hugs pretty much everyone else

You run up the stairs to the guest room Grover was setting up before he left

You finish making the bed head back down, meeting Frank and Hazel on the way

"Oh, Hazel, what did you think of the dog show?"

"It blew my wig!" She says giddily

A confused smile settles on your face

"It was awesome and she loved it," Frank translates smoothly

He and Will are understandably best at deciphering 40s slang

Thalia is introducing everyone to Amber, a girl she’d met on the hunt and become really close with

You greet her, and turn to Thalia

“Your room is all set up if you wanna get settled in,” you turn to Amber, “and yours will be ready soon,”

They share a look

“Oh,” Thalia starts grabbing their bags, “that’s fine, we can share a room. We share a tent on the hunt all the time, right Ambie?”

"Oh,”

And then it clicks

“yeah, however you’re comfortable.”

You grab one of the bags, and help them upstairs

“Why don’t you guys take a while to settle in, I’ll tell the others you’re resting.”

They thank you, and you start to leave

“By the way,” you poke your head back in, “you two seem really cute together. Welcome to the family, Amber.”

She blushes and Thalia gives you an appreciative look

You nod and head back down

You let the others know they’re going to nap for a little while, and not to wake them up

“Hey, any travel updates?” You ask Annabeth, on your way back into the kitchen

“Alex just texted, she and Magnus are finally on their way, should be here in the next few hours. As for Travis…”

She holds out her phone, showing you Travis’s tiktok

He’s filming the mirror in the airport bathroom

“So uh, my flight’s delayed, I’m bored, I’m gonna fuck with some people,” he holds out a hand full of stickers that look like outlets

He records himself putting them around the airport, then gets people’s reactions when they try to use them

He ends the video asking for more prank ideas

You look back up at Annabeth, holding back a laugh, “Seems like he’s doing okay,”

“Oh,” she replies, “that’s not all.”

She scrolls up, showing the next prank video where Travis goes around the airport having fake phone conversations to get people’s reactions

Conversation topics including ‘I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but slept with your grandma’, ‘hey bro I can’t come to the party, also turns out I’m going to be your stepdad’, ‘hey dude remember that old lady we used to cat sit for? Well, I found out I got chlamydia from her, so…’, and ‘yeah man, I’m so excited for the poetry slam. Also, it turns out my jazz fever is actually syphilis.’.

Your hand flies over your mouth, trying not to laugh loudly enough to wake Thalia and Amber

“Yeah,” Annabeth says, fighting her own laughter, “he’s doing okay.”

You start putting together ingredients for pie filling

“That is the most in character thing I could have imagined,” you laugh, and Annabeth shows Leo the videos

“There’s a bunch more, too,” she adds, “Around making tiktoks, he found a bus heading this way. He’ll be here in a few hours.”

“Cutting it close,” you muse, filling pies, “I’m glad he’s not stuck at the airport though. How about Connor?”

“Haven’t heard much from him, but he said he'll be here in time for dinner."

A little while later, Thalia and Amber re enter, joining Percy and Clarisse in the living room

The door opens shortly after, and Tyson enters, arms full of containers of candy pumpkins

Reyna and Grover are right behind him

You take Grover's bags, announcing that Thalia got here a little while ago

He bleats excitedly and runs to hug her, Reyna right on his heels

Piper and Tyson bring in the rest of the groceries

Tyson sets down the last bags in the kitchen, looks out the window, yells, "IT'S ALMOST SUNSET!", and runs back out into the back yard, presumably to finish his mystery project

Everyone eventually makes their way to the living room, nibbling on appetizers and watching classic Thanksgiving specials

The food is almost done, all that's left is decorating the pies and a little tidying up

You walk over to Leo, placing your hand on his shoulder

He looks up at you

"Why don't you go take a quick shower and change before dinner," you muse, knowing the hoodie and jeans he's been cooking in all day isn't the outfit he'd picked out, "I'll wrap things up in here,"

He thanks you, dramatically presses a kiss to your forehead, and exits the kitchen

You decorate the pies distractedly, catching the doorbell right before the second ring

You smile at the people about to enter

"Annabeth," you call, "Magnus and Alex are here!"

She drops what she's doing, and runs over to greet them

Leo is back down stairs a short while later

His brick red hoodie replaced with a burgundy one - his fancy hoodie as he calls it - a heavy flannel layered on top, and a beanie pulled over his almost dry hair

His pyrokinesis makes you forget how cold he gets sometimes

You're about to go upstairs to change out of your cooking clothes when Tyson enters dramatically

"The surprise is done!"

Everyone files outside to see what Tyson made as he leads you all out to the garage

Perfectly attached to the side, is a very small horse stable

"Wow!" Percy starts, "Great job, dude!"

Tyson is beaming as he's showered with confused praise

"So uh," Percy ventures, "what did you build it for?"

"Maybe something like this?!" Descending voices declare in unicen

Travis and Connor land in front of you on no other than Blackjack

Everyone erupts into cheers

“I thought you were stuck at the airport! What about those tiktoks?”

“Saved in my drafts, baby!” Travis laughs

Percy greets Blackjack and everyone else heads back inside with Travis and Connor

You run upstairs to shower quickly and change, and are back downstairs just in time for appetizers and drinks

You're about to take a sip of coffee when the door opens

An irregular set of footsteps echoes into the room, along with a familiar voice

"Ah, children, I hope there's room for one more,"

Everyone turns in surprise as Chiron enters the room

After lots of warm excited greetings and making sure he has a warm cup of tea, he settles in to chat for a while

"I was on my way to meet with my more, ah, rambunctious cousins, but I couldn't let a day like today pass without stopping by."

After two cups of tea and lovely conversations, Chiron heads out to meet up with the other party ponies

Thalia, Percy, and Will get all the food on the dining room table while Rachel makes the finishing touches to the centerpieces

Everyone finds their seat, and you make the first toast

"I think I can speak for everyone when I say I'm thankful for you guys - my found family."

Every glass is raised

You can all drink to that.

#Heroes of Olympus #heroes of olympus headcanons #heroes of olympus x reader #Leo Valdez #pjo imagine #also the thing nico says to will means go fuck yourself in italian #bc he is a warm gushy affectionate boyfriend #:)#I was gonna put a translation but i think it's funnier if you google translate it yourself #especially if it says fuck you or some shit like that #never fails to make me laugh #also this was the first thanksgiving i can remember not being debilitatingly dissappointed on #so uh #i'm rlly happy abt that thanks mom ily #yeah when you cut a narcissist out of your life your debilitating dissappointment rates plummet #it's a nice feeling #lmfao oversharing hours are coming to a close #I hope you all had a good day today #if you don't celebrate american thanksgiving i hope your thursday was nice #ily all and I'm so grateful for all of you #I'm gonna try to answer all your nice asks soon i have had zero social juice or i would have done it already #cause i really wanna <333 #I love you babes #you're all the best xoxo #fr how did I manage to attract such nice people to my blog #not gonna look this gift horse in the mouth #anyway good night I hoep you enjou six or so pages of domestic hoo holiday fluff #bc I sure did uwu

167 notes · View notes

orange-waterfalls · 4 years

Text

Reader w/wings hc's p.2: lesser- known egos/egos i just didn’t wanna put in the last one

ty @fancybootm for the request!

A/N: IT’S BEEN A WHOLE ASS MONTH SINCE I GOT THIS I AM SO FUCKING SORRY. school is suck. anyways. my brain convinced itself that I had to have the same amount of egos in this one as the last one so shit's long again. I had a bit of trouble but scrounged up enough of them. uhhh I don't... we don't really know a lot? about the personalities of these ones? so I just went with what I thought. for Heistiplier, I like to think Mark in AHWM and ADWM is a completely separate person from Actor. Like until we get to the Actor timeline he is a separate person altogether. Night Guard Mark is like mark from the fnaf musical because i can and fuck you. the egos are very random and from many lesser known videos so uh. you might not know all of them. I didn’t even know all of them at first. some of these fuckers annoy me to no end so I had to make them more likable for my own sanity cjfufydy. I only skimmed through after I wrote so it might suck lol. Uh rated T for cursing. Mentions of religion and mental health. Enjoy!

Y/N(reader) w/ wings headcanons p.2

Ed Edgar saw you as a profiting opportunity.

Bastard only uses you for commercials at first

Wings sell shit, don’t they? Kids are into wings these days?

One day you get pissed and just punch him

He respects you after that…

He’s very loud, of course, and your ears tend to be sensitive

He tries to quiet down when he sees you make a face

It’s difficult because that… that’s just his normal volume

He talks about his son sometimes. Not to you specifically

He gets sad… you still don’t completely understand what happened.

Sometimes it feels like he doesn’t either

You instinctively wrap your wings around him for Safety and Comfort

He is a MAN who DOES NOT CRY but goddammit, he was close

He enjoys your company

The Silver Shepherd thought he was gonna rescue you

He’s a superhero, he HAS to save you, right?

Nah, you’re the one saving him more often than not

He tries not to be jealous, but goddamn

Your wings are just. So big. And pretty

He’ll complain to you about his girlfriend “cheating” on him

You know the bullshit he pulls, but you listen because why not

He appreciates that you at least pay a little bit of attention

He doesn’t do a whole lot of hero work, but he usually brings you along

Just for a bit of extra support

More often than not, you’re doing most of the work

You let him believe he did something, though

You boost his very low ego, and so you get along

Derek Derekson was a little bitch

Also saw you as a profiting opportunity

Yelled sometimes when you messed up

You took deep breaths and tried to stay calm the first few times

Then you snapped, calling him a variety of... words...

He stopped yelling at you, but not much else changed

You got along well with Eric, and he appreciated you for that

He does care about his only living son, at least a little

You two don’t… talk a lot

He’ll watch you from afar, occasionally

You constantly encourage him to TALK TO HIS CHILD and GO TO THERAPY

You still don’t like him, and he feels the same way

But he’s… trying

Randall Voorhees thought you were badass

He wasn’t as used to magic and weird shit as the others

You were absolutely awesome to him

He’d never seen an angel before!

Even though he didn’t really KNOW that you were an angel

He just assumed and refused to change his mind

Harder to hide you wings in crowded cities, like where he lives

You spend a lot of your time with him cooped up in his apartment

He felt bad, so he rents a mountain cabin up in Albany whenever you visit

You two ski and snowboard look me in the eyes and tell me the bitch isn’t a snowboarder

He’s a construction worker, so he’s usually busy

You visit him on his lunch break sometimes.

The other workers claim to see you, but he’ll always deny it

He buys a pizza whenever you visit and you eat it together

You two are so cute it’s sickening

Yandereplier claimed you as their new senpai

They saw you, you had wings, you were nice

And now you are Senpai

You aren’t sure why you get a weird feeling whenever they call you this

Luckily, you don’t have many friends, at least none that they could kill…

They showed you their weapon collection to impress you

You were scared and also impressed

They take you to a cherry blossom tree near their house

You talk and hang out and eat lunch

They don’t call you senpai anymore and they talk to you normally

And you no longer stare at the blood on their uniform

Night Guard Mark prayed you wouldn’t try to kill him

He might have PTSD from Freddy Fazbear’s

Those animatronics left a mark…

It took a little while for him to trust you not to harm him

When he did, HOO BOY is he a chatterbox

He has so many theories about the Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza Chain

Dark’s told you not to talk about the actual lore. It might break his spirit

You get very worried sometimes

He looks like that one picture of Charlie Day. You know the one.

Sometimes he gets panic attacks

You wrap him in a cocoon of your limbs and wings to ground him

He likes you for that

You hang out, playing games and watching movies. No horror. Absolutely NONE

You can handle him, and he likes you

Dr. Plier was curious about you

He wondered how you felt about… everything

He asked if you were ok one day and you broke down

He felt guilty and bought you ice cream

He sees you as a sort of… psychological experiment

Like he asks you very strange and slightly personal questions

Ok, very personal, but he’s a therapist, what can you do

He eventually stopped the interrogation and talked to you normally

You get along fine, but it’s kind of the same situation as Dr. Iplier

Chef Iplier wasn’t really all that phased

You were surprised by this because… well… wings

But he just… treats you normal, for the most part.

Sometimes he’ll pet your wings, but only if you let him

He loves how soft your feathers are

He doesn’t make that his entire perception of you

It’s a nice change of pace

He tries to cook for you sometimes, but uh. It doesn’t go well

You’re still confused as to how someone can set a glass of water on fire

You mostly just order take out

You hang out like normal people

Which neither of you are, but you’re both fine with that

Paranormal Investigator Mark is obsessed with figuring you out

Nearly had a panic attack when he first saw you

He wanted to prove the supernatural exists, but he didn’t have a lot of evidence before

And then your mystical-ass came along

Like the Jims, he tried to get pictures, and they all ended up blurry

He threw a fit over it, and you felt kinda bad

You tried to take the picture yourself but it came out the same

He gave up after a while

He info dumps about paranormal stuff to you

It can last from 5 minutes to 5 hours

You do pay attention though, and that makes him happy

He takes you on investigations sometimes

You don’t do much except break shit with those giant wings of yours

He stopped taking you on investigations

Cooliplier is not sure what to think

You have wings! Great! There’s absolutely nothing he can do about that

Not the most normal, but not the weirdest either

He tends to put on a tough-guy persona around new people

You were a lil intimidated

Then you became friends and mans did a full 180 around you

Went from “Your daughter calls me daddy too” to “I’ll have her home by 9 sir”

His personality is sort of a mix of the two

Catch you both screaming the lyrics to Mr. Brightside at 12:00 am

Took you to a mosh pit once

You got kicked out cause of the wings

He felt bad, but you had fun

He teaches you how to dance and roller skate

You also go for rides on his motorcycle

Once you just started flying while he was driving and it was the most fun shit ever

You’re “buds”, as he often tells you

Goopiplier likes you a lot

They like having another not-completely-human creature to talk to

I mean, some of the others aren’t exactly human…

But they’re not the best conversationalists…

Then again, neither is goop.

They mention the Dark Gods ONCE and suddenly no one wants to talk to them…

But you do!! Yay!!!

You mostly just hang out, do whatever

Watch movies, play games, or just talk

They like to draw you

They’re not very good, but you keep them all anyways

Sometimes they do… rituals. While you’re around

You are… a little scared, but that’s okay!

You have sleepovers and act like teenagers

You mock the others and then giggle, getting louder as you go

They’re not that funny, but you had to be there

Elder Jeremiah is terrified of you

He nearly pissed his pants when he saw you

He thought he was finally going to have to pay for his sins

He started crying, and you panicked

Why the FUCK was this 20-something-year-old well-dressed man crying at you???

He dropped his bike and fell to his fucking knees and begged for forgiveness

You felt very uncomfortable with the whole situation

You told him to get up bc he was dirtying up his pants

He eventually stopped crying and you told him you were not an angel

Also not a demon, as you said when he asked

He avoids you, mostly, still thinking you’re gonna drag him down to hell

He stopped the uh. The stealing since you came around

He will hang around/with you sometimes to see if you “reveal your true form”

You haven’t yet, and never will, BUT WHEN YOU DO, HE’LL BE THERE

He does think you’re very nice, though

Preistiplier thinks you’re an angel sent to assist him

He is doing holy work, it only makes sense that He would send a helper

He was disappointed, to say the least

He then came to the conclusion that you lost your memory of being an angel

You couldn’t exactly dispute it, since you don’t remember

So, he takes you on hunts

You don’t do much except make a bunch of fucking NOISE with your WINGS

He’d hoped you’d smite the demons

Or at least scare them, but they know you’re not an angel

He still takes you on hunts because, he’d never admit it, but he… gets scared

You promised not to tell a soul

You confess your sins to him sometimes

They’re usually not what he considers sins, but he listens anyways

He thinks you are a good person, and he enjoys conversations with you

Heistiplier was just normal around you

Well… as normal as he can be

You’d enjoy his company a lot more if he didn’t have such a god complex

You still like him a lot

He likes you too

Even if you did refuse to rob a bank with him

He’s a very… exciting person

Though you don’t really want to be around him when he gets upset

The entire world literally seems to revolve around what he does

He’s a drama queen, and completely feral

It’s worrying at times

You two are normal friends

Playing video games, watching youtube, etc. etc.

You listen to his stories and wonder how he's not dead yet

But you can admit, he's really fucking funny

77 notes · View notes

twoidiotwriters1 · 3 years

Text

Written In The Stars XCIII (Harry Potter xF!Oc)

A/N: How are we feeling after the last chapter? I encourage you to sit, relax, and enjoy what’s coming bc I promise it’s great -Danny

Words: 6,220

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Listen to: This -By Ed Sheeran.

Chapter Twenty-Eight: The Dark Days.

Mel remembers going back to bed after a whole hour well spent with Harry.

They talked for most of the time, silly nothings just to keep hearing each other. Between unfinished sentences and bashful glances, whether if it was love or mere attraction, Mel was certain they were falling into it together.

The next morning she woke up with a fuzzy feeling she couldn't quite place at first. Then it came to her: Harry and her, talking quietly in the common room and...

She let out a short, excited squeal, hoping that the rest of the girls were still sleeping. Mel peered through her curtain and saw her classmates resting. She fell back on the mattress, smiling to herself, reminiscing...

When she walked out of the room with Hermione, talking about Krum –he'd asked her to go and spend a week with him during summer– she felt on the verge of confessing the events of the previous night, but Ginny walked up to them as soon as they got to the common room, eager to hear about what they had to go through to be part of the second task.

Mel felt a tug on her stomach, she was elated to confirm Harry liked her back, but she couldn't reveal it to Hermione or Ginny, she knew how easy some secrets could slip from Hermione's mouth when she wasn't thinking, it didn't happen often but she couldn't risk Ginny finding out that way... not that it would ruin their friendship, but she figured it would still hurt her, and she hated the possibility.

She was in the middle of this crisis when she caught sight of Harry in the middle of a bunch of Gryffindors, all asking him about the second task and what he'd done to solve it. He hadn't seen her yet, and Mel watched him speak with an easy smile on his face as he retold his adventure to Fred and George. That boy right there had kissed her not so many hours ago.

When they were about ten feet away the crowd dispersed and Harry finally noticed her. It was ridiculous really, the way he would smile at the sight of her.

"Good morning," Mel tried to sound calm, but it came out a bit strangled.

"Hi," Harry retorted with the same eagerness, Ron merely glanced up at them from his food.

It was Saturday, which meant they had the whole day to themselves. How was she supposed to keep her mind busy and her hands to herself if they had nothing to do but spend time together?

Thankfully, she didn't have to worry for long. Students would walk up to them throughout the day to ask Harry, Hermione, and her all about their experience –as a nice extra, some even asked Ron about his experience with the committee. Mel and Harry kept it simple, but Hermione grew grumpy after the third hour cause their classmates would tease her about being Krum's favourite person. Oddly enough, none of them teased Harry and her, and she realized that it was because they thought they were dating, just like Cho. She didn't feel the need to prove them wrong.

Harry still could remember the feeling.

At first, he waited anxiously for her reaction, but as soon as her hands pulled him closer he forgot about everything. It was the two of them only and a whole world for themselves with time to spare. Mel was the only important thing he could think of, the only thing that truly was worth it.

Her touch, her hair falling against the back of his hands... every time he thought about it he couldn't help but smile, couldn't even be bothered to be mad at the strangers walking up to him asking about the second task. He kept thinking about that brief moment when they finally broke apart after their first kiss. She looked up at him and Harry said, half-joking and half-worrying:

"Does this mean we're not just friends?"

She laughed shortly, and he forgot about the question when Mel pulled him in for another kiss.

Harry was eager to find a quiet, private place so he could ask more questions, or just to make sure she was okay. It felt like the whole school was trying to work against him, interrupting every opportunity.

Nevertheless, it came to him the same way all things you most desperately want: After long, long waiting. After dinner he made sure to stay behind and, in pure Mel fashion, she read his mind and also took her time, climbing up the stairs slowly.

"Did you have a good day?"

It was weird to see her flustered and know it was him the one who was causing it. He liked it, made him feel taller and older, even though he was still the same height as her and about four weeks younger too.

"The best," He smiled, "you?"

"It was okay," She smiled timidly. "I think it's the first time people run to me and not away from me."

He laughed.

"Must be nice."

"Yeah, though I really wanted them to leave us alone, at least for a second..." She avoided his eyes when she said it.

"Yeah..." They reached the tower, Hermione and Ron walked in first. Harry heard plenty of people there, and he couldn't help but feel a bit annoyed at all of the lot.

"Well..." She stopped at the entrance, keeping the entrance open.

Harry was wondering why wasn't she moving when he realized she was waiting for him to do something. He wasn't quite sure of what, but he was desperate to have any kind of contact. He stepped forward and kissed her.

It was short, just enough to revive the funny little feeling in the pit of his stomach. Mel's face was flushed. When he got into bed that night, Harry felt like he was already dreaming.

Well into March an owl appeared during breakfast bringing Sirius's note.

'Be at stile at end of road out of Hogsmeade (past Dervish and Banges) at two o'clock on Saturday afternoon. Bring as much food as you can.'

"He hasn't come back to Hogsmeade?" said Ron incredulously.

"It looks like it, doesn't it?" said Hermione.

"I can't believe him," Harry frowned, "if he's caught..."

"Made it so far, though, hasn't he?" said Ron. "And it's not like the place is swarming with dementors anymore."

"That doesn't excuse him," Mel said.

"It's time for Potions," Harry announced, standing up and folding the letter. "We should go..."

Malfoy, Crabbe, and Goyle were standing close together with Pansy Parkinson and her friends. When the girl saw them arrive at the dungeon, she spoke up:

"There they are, there they are! You might find something to interest you in there, Granger!" Pansy threw a magazine at Hermione, who caught it roughly.

They sat at the back and when Snape wasn't looking, Hermione read through the magazine quickly. She stopped abruptly in one page, and they all huddled together to read it:

Harry Potter's Secret Heartache

A boy like no other, perhaps — yet a boy suffering all the usual pangs of adolescence, writes Rita Skeeter. Deprived of love since the tragic demise of his parents, fourteen-year-old Harry Potter thought he had found solace in his steady girlfriend at Hogwarts, Muggle-born Hermione Granger. Little did he know that he would shortly be suffering yet another emotional blow in a life already littered with personal loss.

Miss Granger, a plain but ambitious girl, seems to have a taste for famous wizards that Harry alone cannot satisfy. Since the arrival at Hogwarts of Viktor Krum, Bulgarian Seeker and hero of the last World Quidditch Cup, Miss Granger has been toying with both boys' affections. Krum, who is openly smitten with the devious Miss Granger, has already invited her to visit him in Bulgaria over the summer holidays, and insists that he has "never felt this way about any other girl."

However, it might not be Miss Granger's doubtful natural charms that have captured these unfortunate boys' interest.

"She's really ugly," says Pansy Parkinson, a pretty and vivacious fourth-year student, "but she'd be well up to making a Love Potion, she's quite brainy. I think that's how she's doing it."

Love Potions are, of course, banned at Hogwarts, and no doubt Albus Dumbledore will want to investigate these claims. In the meantime, Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart on a worthier candidate. We wonder as well, where is Mel Dumbledore in all this and is she aware of her friend's betrayal?

"I told you!" Ron hissed. "I told you not to annoy Rita Skeeter! She's made you out to be some sort of — of scarlet woman!" Hermione snorted.

"Scarlet woman?" She repeated with a grin.

"It's what my mum calls them," Ron muttered.

"If that's the best Rita can do, she's losing her touch," said Hermione, still amused. "What a pile of old rubbish. I'm sorry about my betrayal, Mel. I hope you and Harry recover."

Mel laughed, if only Skeeter knew... Hermione gave the Slytherin girls a sarcastic smile and waved.

"There's something funny, though," She said later. "How could Rita Skeeter have known..?"

"Known what?" said Ron. "You haven't been mixing up Love Potions, have you?"

"Don't be stupid," Hermione frowned. "No, it's just... how did she know Viktor asked me to visit him over the summer?"

"What?" Ron dropped what he was doing to gape at her.

"He asked me right after he'd pulled me out of the lake," Hermione was blushing and avoided Ron's eyes at all cost. "After he'd got rid of his shark's head. Madam Pomfrey gave us both blankets and then he sort of pulled me away from the judges so they wouldn't hear, and he said if I wasn't doing anything over the summer, would I like to —"

"And what did you say?" said Ron, who wasn't even paying attention to what his own hands were doing.

"And he did say he'd never felt the same way about anyone else," Hermione went on, her hands shaking, "but how could Rita Skeeter have heard him? She wasn't there... or was she? Maybe she has got an Invisibility Cloak; maybe she sneaked onto the grounds to watch the second task..."

"And what did you say?" Ron repeated.

"Well, you were there!"

"I was distracted trying to see if Harry and Mel were okay!"

"I was busy seeing if Harry and Mel were okay too —"

"Fascinating though your social life undoubtedly is, Miss Granger," Snape had come out of nowhere. "I must ask you not to discuss it in my class. Ten points from Gryffindor... Ah, reading magazines under the table as well?" Snape quickly took the magazine from their seats. "A further ten points from Gryffindor... oh but of course," He was now skimming through the article in which the magazine was still open. "Potter has to keep up with his press cuttings..."

The Slytherins laughed and mocked them, Snape took cruel pleasure in reading the words out loud.

" 'Harry Potter's Secret Heartache... dear, dear, Potter, what's ailing you now? 'A boy like no other, perhaps '... Harry Potter's well-wishers must hope that, next time, he bestows his heart upon a worthier candidate.' How very touching. Well, I think I had better separate the four of you, so you can keep your minds on your potions rather than on your tangled love lives. Weasley and Dumbledore you stay here. Miss Granger, over there, beside Miss Parkinson. Potter — that table in front of my desk. Move. Now."

"Well, tomorrow's a new day where I can earn those ten points back," Mel sighed as she watched their friends leave the table.

"How are you not upset?" Ron snapped.

"Am I supposed to believe Harry and Hermione have been dating behind our backs?"

"No! But you... you like Harry!"

"Yeah, but Hermione's not his girlfriend!" She replied.

"What about Krum? Aren't you upset about Hermione hiding all that from you?" Mel stared at him pointedly. "You knew?"

"Of course I knew, Ron! Hermione's my best friend..."

"She's my best friend too!"

"It's different..."

"How come?"

"Last time you were rude to her even though you're the one who's got the obsession with Krum. I thought you'd be beyond happy with the news, if Krum and Hermione get together you'd be friends with him! Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I never said I wanted that," He threw the ingredients into the cauldron rather forcefully. "Why, he doesn't look like he could take a joke!"

"Honestly, Ron," She snorted, "if I didn't know you any better, I'd say you're stinking jealous."

Ron made the strangest noise, dropping the ginger roots on accident as he looked away.

"Don't be stupid," He said, then continued under his breath. "Jealous... Yeah, right."

Mel glanced at him. Could it be..?

No, Ron was just terrible, it'd been exactly the same when he knew about Erick, he just didn't enjoy the idea of splitting the group with different people. It was as simple as that.

Unless...

She shook her head and continued working, she was being silly! Just because Harry had liked her all this time didn't necessarily mean that Ron was the same... she would've noticed! Ron was a terrible liar!

Then again, Harry was a terrible liar too, and she never saw that he liked her back until a few weeks prior...

Karkaroff entered the Dungeon and went directly to the teacher's desk. Mel watched both men argue before Snape turned his back to him and continued the lesson, Karkaroff remained in one corner. When the lesson ended, Harry approached with concern.

"Karkaroff and Snape are hiding something for sure," He stated.

He narrated the scene and the four of them wondered what could Karkaroff possibly be hiding in his arm. He told them about Snape threatening Harry with using a truth potion to make him confess he'd stolen ingredients from his office. Harry wasn't guilty -not that time, at least- but he did worry that Snape could make him confess about Sirius and... other things, he said, looking intently at Mel.

The weather was nice those days, Harry liked it cause he and Mel could walk around the school grounds for hours. Ron and Hermione would also go with them, but they seemed to sense something was going on between them and would give them space.

However, that weekend they had to forget about their walks and head to Hogsmeade, where they were supposed to find Sirius. Harry's bag was filled with plenty of food, enough for at least two days.

They stopped at a shop to buy a present for Dobby, at least an hour went by before they concluded they had enough socks to fill the elf's wardrobe. Mel and Harry secretly thanked him for somehow playing a part in their story, but none of them ever shared their thoughts to the other.

Once reaching the part where the houses were fewer and people weren't often seeing outside, Harry and Mel let their friends take the lead, pretending like it was nothing, they held hands with an easy-going smile on their faces.

Mel's mind wandered away to one of her daydreams, maybe next year once they were a bit older and the tournament was over, they'd be free to walk together everywhere, even held each other closer... maybe kiss...

An animal sound brought her back and her attention turned to the large, shaggy dog waiting for them on the fence. He had a newspaper in his mouth and was wagging his tail excitedly.

"Hello, Sirius," said Harry, letting go of her hand -which saddened her just a little- and patting the dog's head lightly.

The dog examined Harry's bag with a quick sniff and started to walk away to the foot of the nearest mountain. After merely two minutes of climbing, the kids were losing their breath, sweating now under the sun, Mel hoped his hiding spot would be nearer now, she didn't think she would like to keep going much longer.

Finally, they reached a narrow entrance and followed Sirius inside. The cave was big enough to fit all of them, and to Mel's surprise, Buckbeak. The four of them bowed at the creature, Buckbeak bowed back and allowed both girls to touch him.

"Chicken!" She heard Sirius said roughly. She noticed the old robes -the same ones he'd been wearing since leaving Azkaban- and how skinny he looked. "Thanks– I've been living off rats mostly. Can't steal too much food from Hogsmeade; I'd draw attention to myself."

He grinned like it was nothing to be worried about, and Harry smiled awkwardly, obviously worried. Mel felt a sting of annoyance, how could he live like this? Why?

"What're you doing here, Sirius?" Harry said.

"Fulfilling my duty as godfather. Don't worry about it, I'm pretending to be a lovable stray."

"It's not funny," Mel frowned. "You look awfully skinny, Sirius. If you would've told us something we would've sent you food..."

"That would've been too risky, a bunch of owls leaving large packages in the mountain... no, I'm fine," Sirius noticed the look of both and added sternly. "I want to be on the spot. Your last letter... well, let's just say things are getting fishier. I've been stealing the paper every time someone throws one out, and by the looks of things, I'm not the only one who's getting worried." Ron picked the paper from the dirty ground and examined it.

"What if they catch you? What if you're seen?" Harry inquired.

"You four and Dumbledore are the only ones around here who know I'm an Animagus," Sirius shrugged.

"You could've just stayed with my mum, it's close enough," Mel added. Sirius had known her parents enough to recognize her antics.

"Emily told me Harry's relatives have seen my picture in the news, suppose they look over the fence one day and see me calmly drinking tea in your kitchen? You think they would keep it to themselves?"

"I... I guess you have a point."

Sirius nodded silently, still eating. Ron handed the Daily Prophets, 'Mystery Illness of Bartemius Crouch', and the 'Ministry Witch Still Missing — Minister of Magic Now Personally Involved.'

"They're making it sound like he's dying," Harry mentioned, talking about the headline that mentioned Crouch. "But he can't be that ill if he managed to get up here..."

"My brother's Crouch's personal assistant," Ron told Sirius. "He says Crouch is suffering from overwork."

"Mind you, he did look ill, last time I saw him up close," said Harry. "The night my name came out of the goblet..."

"He didn't look ill," Mel said. "He looked... I don't know, worried. I just assumed he was like that because of Harry."

"Getting his comeuppance for sacking Winky, isn't he?" said Hermione, still stroking Buckbeak's head. "I bet he wishes he hadn't done it now — bet he feels the difference now she's not there to look after him."

"Hermione's obsessed with house-elves," Ron mumbled only for Sirius to hear.

"Crouch sacked his house-elf?" Sirius asked with a lot of interest.

"Yeah, at the Quidditch World Cup..." said Harry, and he proceeded to tell him the whole story about the Quidditch final.

"Let me get this straight," Sirius was now pacing around the cave, still holding a piece of chicken. "You first saw the elf in the Top Box. She was saving Crouch a seat, right?"

"Right."

"But Crouch didn't turn up for the match?"

"No. I think he said he'd been too busy."

"Harry, did you check your pockets for your wand after you'd left the Top Box?"

"Erm... No. I didn't need to use it before we got in the forest. And then I put my hand in my pocket, and all that was in there were my Omnioculars. Are you saying whoever conjured the Mark stole my wand in the Top Box?"

"It's possible," said Sirius.

"Winky didn't steal that wand!" Hermione insisted.

"The elf wasn't the only one in that box– Who else was sitting behind you?"

"Loads of people. Some Bulgarian ministers... Cornelius Fudge... the Malfoys..."

"The Malfoys!" said Ron. "I bet it was Lucius Malfoy!"

"What for?" Mel frowned. "He had a very good wand, and someone would've noticed if he took it, being as far as he was."

"Anyone else?" said Sirius.

"No one," said Harry.

"Yes, there was, there was Ludo Bagman," Hermione added quickly.

"Oh yeah..."

"I don't know anything about Bagman except that he used to be Beater for the Wimbourne Wasps," said Sirius. "What's he like?"

"He's okay," said Harry. "He keeps offering to help me with the Triwizard Tournament."

"Does he, now? I wonder why he'd do that?"

"Says he's taken a liking to me."

"Hmm..."

"Wouldn't be surprised if he's bet on you winning the tournament," Mel huffed. "Mr Weasley said to my mum he's very keen on beating on almost everything."

"We saw him in the forest just before the Dark Mark appeared, remember?" Hermione told them.

"Yeah, but he didn't stay in the forest, did he?" said Ron. "The moment we told him about the riot, he went off to the campsite."

"How d'you know? How d'you know where he Disapparated to?"

"Come off it," said Ron. "Are you saying you reckon Ludo Bagman conjured the Dark Mark?"

"It's more likely he did it than Winky," said Hermione.

"Told you," Ron rolled his eyes, "told you she's obsessed with house—"

"When the Dark Mark had been conjured, and the elf had been discovered holding Harry's wand, what did Crouch do?" Sirius interrupted.

"Went to look in the bushes," Harry continued, "but there wasn't anyone else there."

"Of course... of course, he'd want to pin it on anyone but his own elf... and then he sacked her?"

"Yes," Hermione kept going angrily, "he sacked her, just because she hadn't stayed in her tent and let herself get trampled —"

"Hermione, will you give it a rest with the elf!"

"She's got the measure of Crouch better than you have, Ron. If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals." Sirius pointed wisely. "All these absences of Barty Crouch's... he goes to the trouble of making sure his house-elf saves him a seat at the Quidditch World Cup, but doesn't bother to turn up and watch. He worked very hard to reinstate the Triwizard Tournament, and then stops coming to that too... It's not like Crouch. If he's ever taken a day off work because of illness before this, I'll eat Buckbeak."

"D'you know Crouch, then?" Harry questioned.

"Oh, I know Crouch all right. He was the one who gave the order for me to be sent to Azkaban — without a trial."

"What?"

"You're kidding!"

"No, I'm not. Crouch used to be Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, didn't you know? He was tipped for the next Minister of Magic, he's a great wizard, Barty Crouch, powerfully magical — and power-hungry. Oh, never a Voldemort supporter... No, Barty Crouch was always very outspoken against the Dark Side. But then a lot of people who were against the Dark Side... well, you wouldn't understand... you're too young..."

"That's what my dad said at the World Cup," Ron scoffed. "Try us, why don't you?"

"All right, I'll try you..." A flash of a smirk appeared on the man's face. "Imagine that Voldemort's powerful now. You don't know who his supporters are, you don't know who's working for him and who isn't; you know he can control people so that they do terrible things without being able to stop themselves. You're scared for yourself, and your family, and your friends. Every week, news comes of more deaths, more disappearances, more torturing... the Ministry of Magic's in disarray, they don't know what to do, they're trying to keep everything hidden from the Muggles, but meanwhile, Muggles are dying too. Terror everywhere... panic... confusion... that's how it used to be."

"My mum found both of her parents dead... her own father had already retired, he wasn't on duty..."

"Times like that bring out the best in some people and the worst in others," Sirius nodded. "Crouch's principles might've been good in the beginning — I wouldn't know. He rose quickly through the Ministry, and he started ordering very harsh measures against Voldemort's supporters. The Aurors were given new powers — powers to kill rather than capture, for instance. And I wasn't the only one who was handed straight to the dementors without trial.

"Crouch fought violence with violence and authorized the use of the Unforgivable Curses against suspects. I would say he became as ruthless and cruel as many on the Dark Side. He had his supporters, mind you — plenty of people thought he was going about things the right way, and there were a lot of witches and wizards clamouring for him to take over as Minister of Magic. When Voldemort disappeared, it looked like only a matter of time until Crouch got the top job. But then something rather unfortunate happened... Crouch's own son was caught with a group of Death Eaters who'd managed to talk their way out of Azkaban. Apparently, they were trying to find Voldemort and return him to power."

"Crouch's son was caught?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

"Yep," Sirius was done with the chicken and was now digging through the loaf of bread. "Nasty little shock for old Barty, I'd imagine. Should have spent a bit more time at home with his family, shouldn't he? Ought to have left the office early once in a while... gotten to know his own son."

"Was his son a Death Eater?"

"No idea, I was in Azkaban myself when he was brought in. This is mostly stuff I've found out since I got out. Emily and Remus made sure to update me... the boy was definitely caught in the company of people I'd bet my life were Death Eaters — but he might have been in the wrong place at the wrong time, just like the house-elf."

"Did Crouch try and get his son off?" Hermione tried.

"Crouch let his son off? I thought you had the measure of him, Hermione!" Sirius laughed. "Anything that threatened to tarnish his reputation had to go; he had dedicated his whole life to becoming Minister of Magic. You saw him dismiss a devoted house-elf because she associated him with the Dark Mark again — doesn't that tell you what he's like? Crouch's fatherly affection stretched just far enough to give his son a trial, and by all accounts, it wasn't much more than an excuse for Crouch to show how much he hated the boy... then he sent him straight to Azkaban."

"He gave his own son to the dementors?"

"That's right. I saw the dementors bringing him in, watched them through the bars in my cell door. He can't have been more than nineteen. They took him into a cell near mine. He was screaming for his mother by nightfall. He went quiet after a few days, though... they all went quiet in the end... except when they shrieked in their sleep..."

Mel ached for the way Sirius' eyes darkened with anguish. The things that man lived on his own, innocent without the world knowing, without any friends...

"So he's still in Azkaban?" Harry brought her back from her wondering.

"No... he's not in there anymore. He died about a year after they brought him in. He wasn't the only one, most go mad in there, and plenty stop eating in the end. They lose the will to live. You could always tell when a death was coming because the dementors could sense it, they got excited. That boy looked pretty sickly when he arrived. Crouch being an important Ministry member, he and his wife were allowed a deathbed visit. That was the last time I saw Barty Crouch, half carrying his wife past my cell. She died herself, apparently, shortly afterward. Grief. Wasted away just like the boy. Crouch never came for his son's body. The dementors buried him outside the fortress; I watched them do it."

Harry reached silently for her hand and squeezed lightly, it made her feel a bit better.

"So old Crouch lost it all, just when he thought he had it made. One moment, a hero, poised to become Minister of Magic... next, his son dead, his wife dead, the family name dishonoured, and, so I've heard since I escaped, a big drop in popularity. Once the boy had died, people started feeling a bit more sympathetic toward the son and started asking how a nice young lad from a good family had gone so badly astray. The conclusion was that his father never cared much for him. So Cornelius Fudge got the top job, and Crouch was shunted sideways into the Department of International Magical Cooperation."

"Moody says Crouch is obsessed with catching Dark wizards," Harry told him, still very much holding her hand.

"Yeah, I've heard it's become a bit of a mania with him... If you ask me, he still thinks he can bring back the old popularity by catching one more Death Eater."

"And he sneaked up here to search Snape's office!" said Ron.

"Yes, and that doesn't make sense at all," said Sirius.

"Yeah, it does!"

"Listen, if Crouch wants to investigate Snape, why hasn't he been coming to judge the tournament? It would be an ideal excuse to make regular visits to Hogwarts and keep an eye on him."

"So you think Snape could be up to something, then?" asked Harry.

"Look, I don't care what you say, Dumbledore trusts Snape —" Hermione interrupted.

"Oh give it a rest, Hermione," said Ron impatiently. "I know Dumbledore's brilliant and everything, but that doesn't mean a really clever Dark wizard couldn't fool him —"

"Why did Snape save Harry's life in the first year, then? Why didn't he just let him die?"

"I dunno — maybe he thought Dumbledore would kick him out —"

"That would make sense," Mel nodded, wanting to give Ron a victory. "We heard it before, Snape's on his second chance already, maybe he's eager to gain Dumbledore's trust by helping us, but it doesn't mean he's reliable now... Maybe he saw no point in helping Voldemort, weak as he was..."

"What d'you think, Sirius?" Harry said, his grip so firm that she couldn't find it in herself to pull away.

"I think all of you got a point," said Sirius. "Ever since I found out Snape was teaching here, I've wondered why Dumbledore hired him. Snape's always been fascinated by the Dark Arts, he was famous for it at school. Slimy, oily, greasy-haired kid, he was... Snape knew more curses when he arrived at school than half the kids in seventh year, and he was part of a gang of Slytherins who nearly all turned out to be Death Eaters– Rosier and Wilkes — they were both killed by Aurors the year before Voldemort fell. The Lestranges — they're a married couple — they're in Azkaban. Avery — from what I've heard he wormed his way out of trouble by saying he'd been acting under the Imperius Curse — he's still at large. But as far as I know, Snape was never even accused of being a Death Eater — not that that means much. Plenty of them were never caught. And Snape's certainly clever and cunning enough to keep himself out of trouble."

"Snape knows Karkaroff pretty well, but he wants to keep that quiet," said Ron.

"Yeah, you should've seen Snape's face when Karkaroff turned up in Potions yesterday!" said Harry. "Karkaroff wanted to talk to Snape, he says Snape's been avoiding him. Karkaroff looked really worried. He showed Snape something on his arm, but I couldn't see what it was."

"He showed Snape something on his arm?" said Sirius. "Well, I've no idea what that's about... but if Karkaroff's genuinely worried, and he's going to Snape for answers..." He shook his head in mild frustration. "There's still the fact that Dumbledore trusts Snape, and I know Dumbledore trusts where a lot of other people wouldn't, but I just can't see him letting Snape teach at Hogwarts if he'd ever worked for Voldemort."

"What if he just wants to keep an eye on him? It's better to have him under his watch than free doing Merlin knows what," Mel offered.

"Why are Moody and Crouch so keen to get into Snape's office then?" Ron added, agreeing with her.

"Well, I wouldn't put it past Mad-Eye to have searched every single teacher's office when he got to Hogwarts. He takes his Defense Against the Dark Arts seriously, Moody. I'm not sure he trusts anyone at all, and after the things he's seen, it's not surprising. I'll say this for Moody, though, he never killed if he could help it. Always brought people in alive where possible. He was tough, but he never descended to the level of the Death Eaters. Crouch, though... he's a different matter... is he really ill? If he is, why did he make the effort to drag himself up to Snape's office? And if he's not... what's he up to? What was he doing at the World Cup that was so important he didn't turn up in the Top Box? What's he been doing while he should have been judging the tournament?"

Mel finally let go of Harry's hand to reread the Prophet's article.

"You say your brother's Crouch's personal assistant? Any chance you could ask him if he's seen Crouch lately?" Sirius asked Ron.

"I can try... Better not make it sound like I reckon Crouch is up to anything dodgy, though. Percy loves Crouch."

"And you might try and find out whether they've got any leads on Bertha Jorkins while you're at it," added Sirius.

"Bagman told me they hadn't," said Harry.

"Yes, he's quoted in the article in there: Blustering on about how bad Bertha's memory is. Well, maybe she's changed since I knew her, but the Bertha I knew wasn't forgetful at all — quite the reverse. She was a bit dim, but she had an excellent memory for gossip. It used to get her into a lot of trouble; she never knew when to keep her mouth shut. I can see her being a bit of a liability at the Ministry of Magic... maybe that's why Bagman didn't bother to look for her for so long..." Sirius drowned a yawn and rubbed his eyes tiredly. "What's the time?"

"It's half-past three," said Hermione.

"You'd better get back to school," Sirius said. "Now listen... I don't want you lot sneaking out of school to see me, all right? Just send notes to me here. I still want to hear about anything odd. But you're not to go leaving Hogwarts without permission; it would be an ideal opportunity for someone to attack you."

"No one's tried to attack me so far, except a dragon and a couple of grindylows," Harry said, then sent a playful smirk at her. "And Mel, when I don't listen to what she says."

"Very funny..."

"I'll breathe freely again when this tournament's over," Sirius shook his head, "and that's not until June. And don't forget, if you're talking about me among yourselves, call me Snuffles, okay?"

Mel snorted, but Sirius raised a brow at her.

"Are you serious?"

Sirius smirked.

"Yes, I am," He handed back the container that used to have food. "I'll walk to the edge of the village with you, see if I can scrounge another paper."

"We could send you ones so you don't have to go out there as often..."

"No, I like my walks," Sirius assured her. "It's good for me, see the sunlight every day... I'd missed it."

"Sirius, please reconsider my mum's offer," She said gently so it wouldn't sound like an accusation this time. "Please..." The look Sirius gave her was quite like anything else she'd seen, she didn't know what to call it. She only knew he wasn't pleased.

"We'll wait and see how things go, then we can revisit that, all right?" He sentenced, squeezing her shoulder gently. "Now let's get out of here."

"Wonder if Percy knows all that stuff about Crouch?" Ron asked them. "But maybe he doesn't care... it'd probably just make him admire Crouch even more. Yeah, Percy loves rules. He'd just say Crouch was refusing to break them for his own son."

"Percy would never throw any of his family to the dementors," Hermione assured them with certainty.

"I don't know," Ron grimaced. "If he thought we were standing in the way of his career... Percy's really ambitious, you know..."

"We know," Mel sighed, unconsciously reaching out for Harry's hand and holding it tightly.

"Poor old Snuffles," said Ron once they reached the castle. "He must really like you, Harry... Imagine having to live off rats."

Harry said nothing but he didn't let go of her for the rest of their walk.

Next Chapter —>

Taglist.

@dee123ksha @vampiregirl1797 @siriuslysirius1107 @stardusthigh @mikariell95 @vernon-dursley @thesuitelifeofafangirl @tomshollandz @kylosleftbuttcheek @reverse-hxlland @bloodorangemoonlight @omiwashere @t-rexs-world

#twoidiots writing #hp fanfic #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter xoc #WITT fic

28 notes · View notes

red-i-mean-blue · 4 years

Text

A:TLA romantic ships part 1

yes, no one asked for my opinions, yes I will give them anyway, yes because I have decided making a bunch of meaningless decisions and arguing for them will improve my mental state, yes I watched the show all in one very sleep deprived go and i’m not interested in rewatching it so yes I have absolutely no sources, yes this is a really long grammatical nightmare because I don’ t know how to be succinct and i use way more words than necessary at any opportunity because if my point doesn’ t come across exactly like i intend it will greatly upset me, no I have not yet watched Korra or read the comics because i’m tired now let’s do this.

includes Kataang, Zutara, Jetkara, Jinko, Maiko, Sukka, Taang, Tokka, Toko Ty Lokka, Tyzula, Yukka bc these were on the Avatar wiki ship list, part two will go into gay ships more

from 0 I despise people who ship this immediately to 10 I will read absolutely anything with this, I love it and could draw it for hours on how much I think the relationship would be good and how happy it makes me

Kataang (looks like a comic book sound effect so plus points)

very clearly built up over the series

cute kid crushes also ngl did not know katara was 14 and not older 12 or 13 so didn’t care about age when watching

now I know she’s 14 and he’s 12 it’s a little weird but still

haters say katara was just the avatar’s trophy girl, as if aang didnt kiss the ground she walked on and wouldnt stop telling anyone how amazing she is. Katara was the first face he saw from the new world and they immediately became friends. she was so excited to meet another bender, he clearly is trying to impress her and it is working, he listens to her about bending and offers to take her to the other side of the world to master water, TELL ME at this moment she is not ride or die and she doesn’t even know he’s the avatar, he lets her feel like a kid again, which is a feeling she’s forgotten after years of being a mother to sokka and the children. he literally sweeps her off her feet to save her from the fire nations ship i-. rewatched boy in the iceberg and hoo boy had canon not messed it up, this ship could have been legendary

hard to imagine older them working out what with the whole last airbender, preserve air nomad culture, let��s travel the world bc nomadic lifestyle, what’s marriage i’m a monk without biological family values vs last southern waterbender, preserve southern water tribe culture, I believe in the power of family and am ridiculously dedicated to my tribe, let me go home to my father and tribe shtick, but I don’t care for after the show finishes much except for following the gang fix the world so I don’t really care about the marriage issue

canon was good until that Mess in season 3, WHY did he kiss her after that speech, wish they talked that out properly, wish he learned letting go of her to open the 7th chakra was the only right decision, wish the ending was a little more vague in ships and just left things open but yk whatever

that finale kiss was sweet, they hugged foremost as friends, no blushing, and then got the fuzzies, that moment standing alone? a+ but without any talking about what happened on ember island, a little unsatisfying

overall, fine ship, not my favourite nor do I actively ship it, but I see a kataang moment, i’m like, sweet so I give it a 6

Zutara (apparently fans are zutarians which looks like an alien race, plus points)

latter half of the show had quite a lot of Zutara potential, but idk about Zutara actual

katara was so ready to drop his ass, no way at the start

there is only one dynamic between them in which I can see Zutara working and that is as in the Stalking Zuko by emletish series where katara is so distrusting over zuko she takes to stalking him to make sure he isn’t doing anything to hurt Aang or about to betray them (her) again but he is just such a sweet dork who keeps trying to apologise to her even while she’s apologising to him for being a bitch that she can’t help but start to trust him, i’m a third into the third book in the series not stalking firelord zuko and I am thriving and tbh this is the only situation where I accept zutara, read the series I love it

age gap is weird, I know it’s the same difference between kataang but they made a point of zuko being older in the show also he’s so much taller and I don’t like 16 year old boys with 14 year old girlfriends in real life and so would katara because jet

katara has a bad experience with bad boy sword weilders (jet) but I guess you could see it as the start of her type idk

they are both the moms of the Gaang. sokka is the fun dad.

there is a parallel between their families, with the leader of their people dad, mom who left the picture when they were young, an older brother who is not a prodigy at/can’ t bend their respective element so they become proficient at swords instead, prodigy at bending younger sister with a violent streak. this is why I see zutara as potentially a really close friendship, almost siblings, but not a romance because to me katara is a little too like azula for comfort...

tbh I think a lot of folk shipped it because ooh fire boy and water girl (not the game) that’ s perfect, and bam army of zutarians

overall, kind of weird but ok and good grounds for humour so I give it a 4

Jetkara (bad ship name, why would you like this, minus points)

Jet is bad. yes Katara really liked him, yes he was definitely her first kiss and she would definitely consider him her first boyfriend but they would not define it because it’s easier to manipulate someone when it’s unclear what your relationship is and Jet is bad, with his weird fricking eyebrows and not even real swords those hook swords

Not wasting my time, 2

Jinko (cool name, reminds me of Hong Jinkyung, plus points)

short but so sweet. not the first thing people remember from watching the tales of ba sing se (brb going to rewatch and cry) but really cute, so here’s a running commentary

his first thought was she knew they were fire nation rather than a pretty girl sat in a teashop giving him looks because she had a crush omg

that honest surprise when his uncle suggested she liked her and then she walked up and asked him on a date, adorable

anyone who looked at that god-awful hairstyle and still thought he looked cute has it bad also aww that hair ruffle and the little grab onto his arm

he’s pushing his food around and she’s trying out ice breaker questions and recieving one word responses he has no idea what he’s doing

“she is not my GIRLFRIEND” he’s not over Mai, clearly but he still is trying his best to be a good date even if he’s terrible at making conversation

anyone who sat through that date and the bad lying and the stilted conversation and still thought he was cute has it bad

he is So Bad At Lying he just told the truth very vaguely and then bam travelling circus

jin so knows the two are fire nation, the whole date she just politely ignores the clear lies and doesn’t react to the obvious firebending, what an icon we love jin

honestly I was really expecting the show to reveal that jin knew he was a firebender if not from the start then from the lights but eh I guess she can keep a secret, good for her

HE KISSED HER BACK BEFORE REALISING A RELATIONSHIP COULD NEVER GO WELL AND HE MAY HAVE ANGSTILY STORMED OFF BUT HE ADMITTED IT WAS A NICE TIME TO HIS UNCLE

that being said I can’t see anything more happening but this date but omg imagine fire lord zuko coming back to visit and they become friends I-

overwhelming support for pre-date jin flirting to an oblivious zuko and the date Jinko, 8

Maiko (name would be a good name for a cat idk why)

childhood sweethearts before the banishment i think

she crushed because he saved her hair from getting burnt by tackling her into a fountain? adorable

I love mai she’s so funny but I think not the best match for zuko? he has a lot of trauma to get over and she doesn’t seem like the let all your feelings out and let’s talk about it until you feel better kind of person. it was deeply ingrained in her to keep all of her feelings and emotions strongly hidden because she got what she wanted from her politician parents so long as she was quiet, well-mannered, and perfectly behaved according to avatar wiki so I get why she’s that way, until I was 11 I was that way too all the time, I understand freezing your face so you don’t look afraid or upset or angry and risk annoying adults, but I don’t think that that would fit zuko with his social ineptness

they literally broke up twice but are just assumed back together? she just surprised him and said they were back together and I think he forgot she existed

the deadpan firelady and the fire lord would be hilarious together tho she got the ruthlessness he lacks

post coronation I can see it happening, 6 but under Kataang

Sukka (terrible name lmao)

the cutest, sokka very excitedly says “Suki!! :DDD” every time he sees her

she didn’t give him the time of day until HE changed, incredible

just the best canon ship, the two nonbenders in the Gaang but very clearly shown to be important key members.

suki is sneaky and badass, rivalling zuko for position on the team as the sneaky badass one (they tie and bond over being sneaky and badass)

sokka is a great dad, he is the dad of the Gaang and he clearly loves suki and suki loves him back

sokka ships are ELITE, 9

Taang (a delicious orange drink mix that reminds me of home, nostalgia)

foreshadowing from the swamp where someone aang loved in the future really made me think taang was endgame yk

opposite elements ideology that I guess is what zutarians like also leaves everyone in the gang dating a Gaang member if zutara happens

actually the same age but not much else going for it

best friends, 4 but under Zutara

Tokka (great name of a small pet fight me)

sokka ships are elite, childhood crush turned adult strong friendship

I really like seeing the rough, tough, greatest earthbender in the world have a crush, adorable

sokka is a great friend and his and toph’s canon relationship is so sweet, I wouldn’t change it

toph was fully going to give sokka a kiss on the cheek for saving her life i’m melting

age difference is too weird for a romance he’s like 16 or 17 by the end I think and she’s 12

best friends, 10 as a relationship in the show, 2, but in their 20s after the show... 4 but under Taang

Toko (very forgettable name but both characters have 4 letters so I guess it’s hard to come up with something memorable but every time I read it as Toph because same shape ish so minus points for being annoying)

even weirder age gap than Tokka

not many moments that could be considered romantic?

toph first accepted zuko despite him burning her feet, how she sees, which was big and they resolved problems between them quickly

toph clinging to his arm and asking for a life changing field trip caused him to blush, but I see that as him being like oh someone wants to spend time with me?? she’s hugging me??? what is this

convenient ship for kataangers because the Gaang could be paired off as Kataang, Sukka, Toko

her crush on sokka seemed to go away or calm down when he showed up and she punched him and teased him a lot, her way of bonding

similar strict teaching styles and bonding over secret identities as Blue Spirit and Blind Bandit and parental issues and being the children of important families who made them run away to enjoy not having anything to do with politics and being nobility with impaired vision who have never stepped into a kitchen in their lives and being used to servants and then being on the run

I really see them as siblings with her helping him relax from his duties as fire lord because you already know this boy’s sense of honour is going to make him work tirelessly to fix the world and him helping her relax from the whole i’m not a fragile, weak little blind girl, i’m the greatest earthbender in the world shtick and reminding her she can be both a blind 12 year old girl and the most powerful earthbender in the world, she can accept help without being weak or lesser than anyone, people want to help because they care not that they pity you

best friends 10, relationship in show 1, after show 3

Ty Lokka (I don’t like this name looks like a place but can think of nothing better)

yeah I guess ty lee’s obvious flirting is grounds for a ship but in every interaction he’s involved with someone else and doesn’t seem to like her as a person

do they even interact while on the same side?

friendly aquaintances at best, don’ t understand, 2 but above Jetkara

Tyzula (don’t like this name, like a mineral water?)

canon I don’t care it is canonically a possessive relationship

azula’s only genuine apology goes to ty lee after hurting her feelings

Azula clearly loves ty lee, her betrayal sends her mad

after a lot of therapy for azula and apologies, maybe a healthy relationship could form after the show, 8 above Jinko

Yukka (looks like a childish insult, surely someone could have thought of a better name)

Sokka’s love for Yue stays with him for the rest of his life, she was the first person to die in front of him and he sees the moon as her facing the earth

love this forbidden lovers content, sokka ships stay elite

Sokka and Yue spend as much time together as possible with secret midnight dates flirting (“you wanna do an...activity together?”) Sokka’s reaction to Yue’s engagement shows that he wants to have a serious relationship with her, and also he thinks Hahn is a bad person for Yue, which he is.

Yue dying devastated him and he never falls out of love with Yue. her last words “[she] will always be with him” are true. swamp visions show Yue as one of the most important people in his life like a season or so after he last saw her. he wouldn’t kiss suki in front of the moon, and cries when Yue appears on stage, ignoring Suki. he talks about the moon as if it is directly Princess Yue in that cactus juice scene.

she died in his arms oh my god don’t look i crying, he feels personally responsible and guilty

yue was great even though she was the indigenous or black girl with light hair and eyes character and I wish she could have helped aang in the spirit world

despite her arranged engagement she clearly really likes sokka even though she knows nothing can happen, 9

Kataang, Zutara, Jetkara, Jinko, Maiko, Sukka, Taang, Tokka, Toko, Ty Lokka, Tyzula, Yukka

#kataang #zutara #jinko #maiko #sukka #taang #toko #tokka #tyzula #yukka #my ramblings

76 notes · View notes

manicr · 3 years

Text

Coming out, Pride month

I thought I'd talk about coming since it's still the last days of pride month, and how different that can be for some kids, using myself as an example.

For some kids there's no dramatic Moment™ but a life lived and sometimes unknown, with pockets of 'outness' and places where the closet exists but only as a polite fiction.

To make some sense of this, I need to go way back for myself. I was always a queer kid; in all senses of the word. Undiagnosed autism was a factor but so were others.

W were many kids in my family, I grew up with 4 of my 5 siblings, a mix of boys and girls and I was the second youngest. In effect, my older brothers helped raise me and my sisters, and my parents had little time for me. They kicked us out to play to get some peace and quiet during the days, and I frankly became somewhat of a feral child, spending time in the woods and playing by myself a lot. Now, this might sound weird when you have 5 siblings, but we were a motley bunch, fought a lot, and played too, and I was autistic af. Being without them was easier and I could do what I wanted, which was usually play with dinosaurs, explore the woods and draw a lot.

I had few friends, who I was intermittently clingy and distant towards. Typical ASD. And I can in hindsight say that by the age of 10-11 that I was queer: Xena Warrior Princess was an awakening -- in my case, it was the villainess Callisto, but Gabrielle and Xena were obviously in love with each other even before it was canon. But it wasn't an 'aha' moment to me. No great fanfares that I wasn't straight or panic about it. I hadn't understood homophobia, and I didn't much care about kissing any 'real' people, even though I was a big shipper of Hercules/Ares and Xena/Gabrielle. I understood slowly that my parents didn't approve of homosexuality or gnc stuff. So I just chalked it up to them being them and hid all that. Though I could never do feminity right. I was often mistaken for a boy as a pre-teen

When I was 12 I had my first kiss -- with a girl. It was on a dare and I didn't think anything of it. I was THAT friend then, with the few friends I had, the overly perverted verbally and clingy physically. Kissing a girl was nothing, but it was also natural. I played at liking boys at this age. Tried to like those snotty prepubescent boys in my school and tried to perform the obligatory boy band fawning. It was Backstreet Boys for me. But I felt nothing, I enjoyed shipping boys more than I did them. Nor did I want a girlfriend really. But my sister pointed out that I was too 'dykey' with my friends. Repeatedly.

When I was 13 I got depressed. It lasted all of 'high school' (sweden: högstadiet 13-15). It was bad. I was self-loathing, suicidal, and hated how I looked and felt. I explored my gender, my sexuality, and tried to find why I felt so wrong. I escaped into fandom. I lost friendships slowly, but I started to realize that they weren't all that good either. I started to realize that I probably wasn't straight, but still cis, and that I wanted to live differently than I did.

In gymnasium (swe: 16-18) I swore that I'd be happier. I came out as bisexual to my friends and school in my first year. I only chose to call myself bi because I liked looking at adult men, but fuck if I didn't like girls my age too. I was outrageously outspoken, without any borders. I dressed like in long leather coats, embroidered shirts, and cargo pants, pseudo-masc flamboyance, or full corsetted loli goth style - feminity taken to the max until it became unattractive or drag.

I let my friendships be intense, physically and emotionally, but never crossed the borders my straight friends set. Though they probably should have set them a little harder so I'd notice. I was no stranger to making out with my friends, and I had fits of jealously even -- leading me to 'share' boys with them when we made out. But despite this, I was never their girlfriend. Just an overly clingy and perverted friend -- but I was still happy. I felt loved. I kissed with one of my friends who's come out as a lesbian. It was her first kiss. No strings attached, as she said, and there weren't. I went to Pride every year after I turned 16. But I never said a word about myself to my family.

The closet was there, if barely. A polite fiction. The unspoken.

My family had all the chances to know: a gnc daughter who was too 'dykey' with her friends who went to Pride every year and was outspoken in support of queer rights. Who never brought home a boyfriend or said a word about dating. My sister sneered at me and called me a homo and a freak. But we never spoke about it. My parents stopped talking about boyfriends with me.

I left home when I was 19, to study in another city. I did, and I partied too, kissing boys and girls, loving dancing and touching, but I didn't date. I tried, a little but no one interested me more than to touch. I was out at uni. I was out online - I joked that I liked fictional men and real women. At work too. But I never spoke to my family about it, until my little sister had a gay panic moment since her bff was in love with her. I outed myself as she cried and talked her down. She's the only blood family member who I've literally told it to this day. My middle brother asked me if I like girls, I said both, and he gave me ecchi manga. Brothers.

When I was 21 I met the love of my life. The first and only man I pursued seriously. And I really had to pursue him since he thought I was a lesbian bc I was so damn queer and liked looking at women's breasts. After some comedy of errors, we got together. He always knew that I was queer and accepted it, enjoyed it even, since we could ogle at women together and he was fine with me looking/commenting on pretty men too. He had queer friends (pretty much half ), had tried it out, and decided he liked women, and he was also on the spectra of autism. I feel a kinship with him, love, and friendship. His family was queer (gay granpa and lesbian step-sister) and I was pretty much introduced as bi together with my name to them, as a matter of fact.

I married him. We've been together for 12 years. I was the first of my sisters to get wed, much to their surprise.

I'm out to the world; except for my older gen of family. But there were no dramatic moments of outing. No TV moment and teary confessions. Even as a child, to my friends, it was a bi by the way and they pretty much guessed it. My siblings, barring my older sister and oldest brother, got it in casual circumstances or guessed it. I think the rest know, but the closet is there as polite fiction so that they don't have to face it.

I don't feel like I'm in the closet. I've never really felt like it. I know my parents' and my older siblings' homophobia, and I know I'm a freak in their eyes, despite being married to a man. I don't care. They don't deserve to have a heart-to-heart with me about my identity, they don't deserve to participate in my joy, and I don't meet them more than a couple times a year.

I'm happy and bi. I love my husband, I love my friends, I love my new family; it's all queer. Coming out was never something that mattered to me. I lived my life and people with eyes saw it as it was. Those who refused had to look at me being queer af regardless. Naturally, I was drawn to queer ppl bc of this and they to me. There's only so much gnc queer shit straight ppl who aren't super queer-friendly can take. Sometimes all you have to do is live your life.

#personal #pride #coming out

5 notes · View notes

sylvesterlestermanchester · 3 years

Text

Fearfully and Wonderfully

Summary: Dan wasn’t entirely sure what he was going to experience when he starts his first semester at Uni, but he was pretty sure an incredibly sheltered Catholic boy stealing his heart wasn’t on his list of typical college tropes.

Word Count: 12401

Genre: Humor, fluff, angst. All mixed together. Fun times!

Warnings: Conversion therapy, homophobia, brief allusions to sex and genitals. One puke joke?

A/N: Reuploaded bc Tumblr decided not to let this be visible in the tags lol. This is my first ever published fic-I’ve been writing for literally years little bits and pieces, but COVID has me going crazy and I just wanted to put some effort into an actual thing. Thanks for reading!

Dan wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he walked through the door to his dorm the first time, parents and sullen little brother in tow. All of his knowledge about Uni had been from TV and movies-maybe he would have some frat guy in the bed across from him, or maybe a stoner, or maybe a weird silent dude who will disappear after the first week and let Dan put their beds together so they would actually fit his gangly body.

What he isn’t expecting is to have an eight-year-old girl bodyslam herself into his legs, followed by a loud groan and a sharp voice scolding “Suzanne, we told you to stop running!”

Dan’s eyes look down at the (quickly retreating) girl and blinks a few times as he takes in the scene in front of him. There are way too many people in the crowded room right now-he counts two identical boys, both around 10, bouncing on the stiff dorm bed, one pre-teen digging through a cardboard box, a girl around Adrian’s age whispering something to an older woman with a toddler in her arms, standing next to a quiet-looking tall man, and, of course, the eight-year-old, now having been scooped up by a sheepish looking guy around Dan’s age who’s giving him an apologetic smile.

This must be the Philip Lester on his room assignment form. “Sorry. My family is kind of, erm, excited.” He says with a small, nervous laugh and sets the girl aside before sticking out a hand to shake. “I’m Phil! You must be, um...Daniel, right?”

Dan takes a second to readjust the bags in his arms to shake Phil’s hand awkwardly, trying not to look too overwhelmed at the scene in front of him. “Dan’s fine.”

The kids have all frozen in place, staring at Dan with wide eyes like Dan just sprouted a second head. There’s a few long beats of silence as Phil shakes his hand just a little too enthusiastically for just a bit too long.

Finally, Phil’s mum places a hand on her son’s shoulder, beaming brightly. “It’s so great our boys will be living together!” She cheers to Dan’s mum, who looks a bit bewildered. Ms. Lester gently takes a few of Dan’s bags and sets them on the bed, continuing to chatter on. “Come on, we can unpack while you two get to know each other better. I need to know who my son is going to be rooming with, right?” She continues to babble in a thick northern drawl as Dan glances back at his parents, who look like they’re about to bolt for the door and leave their son to be swallowed whole by these people.

“You’re rooming with an absolute freak,” Adrian mumbles in his ear with a small smirk. “Karma is a bitch, huh?”

“Shut up.” Dan hisses back through his teeth, trying to look as interested as possible as Phil’s mum keeps talking.

“The weather here is so nice-it’s already getting cold up in Rossendale, can you believe it? Max and Adam were running around outside, and I was so scared they were gonna catch cold, you know how quickly little ones do. Oh, the drive here was wonderful-”

“We saw cows!” One of the kids butts in, and suddenly they’re all talking, any nervousness they had around the strangers suddenly vanishing.

“And horses!”

“We got hamburgers, and there was this huge truck-it had to have, like, forty wheels-”

Phil seems to take after his dad, quietly but quickly unpacking since his siblings have seemingly given up on it in favor of telling Dan’s family every detail of the six-hour car ride. At one point he makes eye contact with Phil, who gives him an apologetic look, his cheeks flushed and an embarrassed grin on his face as the kids chatter along excitedly like they’ve never talked to another person before.

Finally, right when Dan feels like his ears are going to fall off, Phil speaks up again. “I-I think I can get this from here, guys. Mum, Dad, why don’t we go out for a walk before we say goodbye? I know you guys want to see the geese on campus, right?” The kids all cheer like geese are the most exciting thing on Earth, scrambling for the door. Phil’s mum gives Dan a tight hug and Phil’s dad, still not having spoken a single word, even gives his shoulder an uncomfortable pat before they head out.

The small space suddenly feels vast and empty, and the silence is almost tangible.

“Well. They seemed...friendly.” Dan’s mum says after a few moments, his dad snorting.

“You’re in for quite a year, huh, kid?” He jokes. Dan laughs weakly, but in all honesty, it doesn’t seem that funny.

Just what did he get himself into?

Dan’s curled up in his bed when Phil finally comes back a few hours later, giving Dan that same crooked, shy grin from earlier. Now that it’s just him and not him with (presumably) his entire Brady Bunch-style family, he can get a better look at his roommate. He’s tall, about an inch taller than Dan, and lanky. His black jeans are just a bit high on his ankles, and his faded green shirt clings to his skinny frame. As Dan’s eyes travel higher he takes in his flushed cheeks, his blue eyes wide behind his oversized glasses, all behind shaggy black hair that doesn’t match his ginger eyebrows-ginger like every other family member of his. Dan suddenly feels a bit self-conscious in his Game of Thrones pajamas and old school shirt, pulling his covers up a bit higher as he takes in the other young man with a strange feeling in his chest. He’s definitely different than anyone Dan’s ever known. But damn, if he isn’t cute.

“Sorry if my family was a lot today.” He says after a slight moment of silence, a slight giggle slipping out as he walks over to one of the boxes on his side of the room. “I’m the first to go to Uni out of my brothers and sisters, so my parents decided to, like, make it into a whole thing.”

The memory of the chaos is still fresh in Dan’s mind, but hearing Phil talk about it, he can’t help but smile a bit as well. “I’m the oldest, so I get it. And they were nice. Your siblings are very...uh, talkative.” He says slowly, trying not to sound rude, but Phil’s giggling again before he can worry too much about it.

“We’re from kind of the middle of nowhere, so they’re just excited to see, like, humans outside of Rossendale for the first time.” Phil joked as he started reorganizing some of the things his siblings had just sort of dumped around the room. “Plus, they don’t usually get sugar, but they had soda on the way here. So they were practically about to explode by the time we pulled in. They just exploded all of that excitement onto you.”

Dan can’t help but laugh a bit at that as he watches Phil set some thick books up one way and then rearranges them. “Oh, Jesus. That car ride must have been nuts.” Phil looks over his shoulder, grinning wider now. He looks more and more relaxed each minute, as if he was just as nervous about Dan as Dan was about him. “You have no idea, oh my gosh. They were already wound up for today, and then there was soda, and Max and Alex-they get carsick even worse than I do, and then Suzanne had to pee, like, forty times an hour, and Mum was all weepy...this has been the longest day of my life.” He joked, laughing along with Dan.

Even though Dan can’t connect any of the kids to their names, he feels like he knows them decently well. In fact, as the conversation drifts into more goofy road trip stories, Dan’s surprised with just how close he feels to Phil like they’ve known each other before they even met.

It’s strange, he finds. But then again, Phil’s pretty strange, after all.

Dan doesn’t fully realize how strange Phil is until the next day. There’s a few hints-Dan makes a reference to some TikTok audio and Phil admits he’s never used it before, staring in awe as Dan scrolls through his ForYou Page for him. When they head off to orientation in one of the lecture halls, Phil’s head jolts up and his face flushes bright red when one of the countless speakers jokingly curses (if you can count “ass” as a curse-Dan honestly can’t). But it’s not until they’re out at the quad with some of their new peers for lunch when Chris turns to Phil and asks if he went to the school his cousin went to up north.

“Oh, I didn’t go to school.” Phil says with a bright smile, before quickly adding “I mean-I was homeschooled. So I just kinda did the work when I wanted to.”

“Your parents homeschooled you? Didn’t Dan say you had, like, twenty siblings?” Louise questions as they all turn to look at Phil. Dan feels a migraine coming on just imagining being home with all of those kids all bloody day, though he can actually picture Mrs. Lester teaching them all pretty well. Phil laughed a bit, cheeks flushing pink as he looked down at his sandwich.

“We all were. My mum and dad didn’t like the schools in our area-they wanted us to be more connected to the church, said that “our values weren’t instilled in traditional education’.” He explained with a small shrug. When PJ raised an eyebrow at that Phil pulled a small cross necklace out from under his shirt. “I’m Catholic. I actually have plans for Seminary after getting my bachelor’s-so if you’re planning on getting married, I’m taking bookings now.”

Phil’s last comment was clearly meant to lighten up the mood, but it’s obvious that the subject matter was making the group a little uncomfortable, considering they all just met. Dan’s mentally running through Phil’s belongings in their dorm-were all those books Bibles? Was he going to start hanging crosses everywhere? Or make him wake up early on Sundays?

Before his brain could spiral out further Chris blurted out “So, were you raised in a Jesus bubble or something?” Louise smacks his arm but Phil giggled. “I-I have been told I’ve lived a bit of a sheltered life before, yeah.”

“Were you allowed...TV?” PJ asks slowly, eyes widening when Phil shook his head.

“Not cable. We could watch DVDs, but they had to be approved, so it was usually educational. I know a lot of animal facts, actually. Did you know hippo-”

“What about the internet?” Louise cuts him off.

“Not after my older brother got caught Googling “bikini girls” when he was 10.” Phil joked lightly. “But even before that, my mum was pretty anti-internet. If I really needed it for school or whatever, I’d go down to the library.”

“No Harry Potter?” “Promotes witchcraft. Apparently. I haven’t read it for myself, but-”

“Dating?”

“Not without serious intention to marry-and I’m not exactly ready for that, so-”

“Running water?”

“You know what’s funny?” Phil says, giggling a bit and bringing his knees loosely to his chest. “You guys think I’m weird, which is totally understandable. But your guys’ lives before this sound weird to me, too. Like-Chris, you got to play video games as a kid, right? And I was taught that those would turn me into some homicidal maniac. Dan, I saw you have a horoscope app-that’s the occult, so that’s a huge no-no.”

Wow, okay. Before Dan could feel too offended, though, and Chris could jump in, Phil keeps going. “But, like, I get that you’re not a witch, or Chris, you’re not gonna chop me up into little pieces when I’m sleeping. There’s gotta be some middle ground here, right? So...you guys could show me how to live more like you, and maybe you guys would be more interested in what I’m into?”

There’s a small silence that falls across the group before a wicked grin slowly appears on Louise’s face.

“What do you want to learn first?”

The next few weeks are a bit of a whirlwind for Dan. Between classes, hanging out with new friends, homework, scrambling to find a job, remembering to text his mum and let her know he hasn’t died, he’s barely able to keep his head on straight. But the time he spends trying to introduce Phil to the “real world” is some of his favorite.

Phil had set some ground rules-nothing that could kill him or ruin his life if it got out on social media. If he got too uncomfortable, he was allowed to tap out, but he’d give it an honest attempt. And nothing Satanic. (Dan had laughed until he realized by the look on his face that he wasn’t joking).

Granted, their friend group hadn’t done a great job at the start. PJ thought it would be hilarious to let Phil start with some “iconic reading material”.

Dan had been in class when they had presented the book to him, and the two were in their respective beds when Dan heard a shocked gasp from Phil’s side of the room.

“You good, mate?” He rolled over, watching as Phil sat upright and started flipping through the pages. “Do-Do you know about this book?” He asked, face turning impossibly redder as he held up the cover for Dan. 50 Shades of Gray. As Dan burst out laughing, his roommate whined playfully.

“What-Phil, who gave this to you?” “PJ said it was necessary reading!”

“PJ is a dunce. Give it here, I’ll protect you from the big bad book.” Dan teases, but Phil quickly shoves the book into his hands like it’s on fire.

“I’m gonna have nightmares about ties and rich men for weeks.” He grumbled playfully, curling up on his bed and reaching for his phone. “I’m never trusting Peej again.”

Louise turns full maternal the next day when he struggles to recount the experience in polite language (Dan holding back laughter), and she decides to go the complete opposite way, launching a mission to, as she put it, “reshape Phil’s lost childhood”. Phil lightly pushes back against wording, because he feels like he had quite a nice childhood, thank you very much.

Still, Louise comes over a couple of nights later, armed with her laptop.

“They couldn’t come up with a more creative name than “High School Musical”?” Phil teased gently as she pulled it up on her screen.

“Phil, you sweet boy, High School Musical is a cultural milestone that you need experience. So no backtalk!”

“Whatever you say.” He said, sitting on the other side of her and holding a bowl of popcorn in his lap.

They watch the first movie, and then the second, and then Phil’s begging to watch the third. As the final song plays Dan glances over and sees that Phil has his head ducked down, shoulders shaking gently.

“Phil?” Louise asks gently right as a choked sob erupts from him. She lets out a yelp as Phil flings his arms around her neck, laughing shakily.

“It was just...Troy chose basketball and music…both of his passions...” He blubbers out, nuzzling into her shoulder as she coos.

“You’re so weird, hon. You know that?” Once he’s calmed down enough (when Dan offers him a hug the waterworks start up all over again, sniffling. “So. Is that what your guys’ school was like?”

Louise and Dan glance at each other before bursting into laughter, only stopping a couple of minutes later when Louise turns to Phil once more. “If you liked High School Musical, you’re going to love this show Victorious…”

Of course, it’s not all smutty books and (incredible) movie trilogies.

Being homeschooled meant that all Phil knows is doing school when he feels like it. Lucky for Phil, he’s a huge nerd, so homework and studying actually excite him. The problem is, these things tend to excite him at 3 in the morning, and he actually has classes to go to now outside of his room.

By day three of no sleep, Phil swears Dan’s grown wings, and Dan intervenes. They make up a rules sheet-bedtime is 2AM, wake up at 10AM, eat three meals a day, no more than five cups of coffee a day (of all the vices Phil was deprived of, caffeine was clearly not one of them-Dan’s never seen anyone drink more coffee in his life). He gets him down to one all-nighter a week, and in turn, Phil wakes him up each morning and helps him with schoolwork so Dan doesn’t have to face going to the tutoring center. It turns out that Phil’s kind of a genius, despite never being in a classroom until a couple of weeks prior.

Chris is the one who convinces Phil to get social media, telling him that “only serial killers and old people” don’t. Phil’s not the greatest at it at first (there’s a lot of pictures uploaded on accident to his Instagram stories and nonsense tweets), but he slowly gets more used to it, getting his terrible puns and weird things he sees on campus out to the world (all 20 of his followers).

Dan can’t help but get slightly annoyed when Phil’s phone is shoved in his face to choose a filter of some stupid looking goose that’s close to attacking him, but the look of pure elation that Phil gets when someone sends a dog meme in their group chat is enough to warm his heart in ways he didn’t want to address fully but knew he couldn’t ignore.

There’s so much to teach him, and it seems like each day something pops up. Still, Dan’s surprised by Phil’s world, too.

First, he brings them to a non-denominational bible study group. PJ groaned quietly as Phil handed them all cheap paperback Bibles before they entered the church.

“Can’t we do something a bit more...fun? With less reading?”

“If you don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again,” Phil said with a grin, rocking back and forth on his heels. “And if you like it-which hopefully, you will-we can come back once a week, and I’ll get you some nicer Bibles. These are just to start out with.”

Louise forces a small “yay” as they head inside, Phil leading them through the sanctuary with a happy sigh before taking them down some stairs, where a young woman sits in front of a small arrangement of chairs.

“Phil, you brought your friends!” The woman cheers and Phil laughs happily.

“Caroline-this is Dan, PJ, Chris, and Lou. They’re new to all this, so we’ll go easy this week?” He joked lightly, and Caroline nods, asking them about their religious beliefs.

“Uh, went to church a few times with my Nan. Atheist.” Dan says, biting his lip. He never actually said the “a'' word around Phil, and he’s a bit nervous that he’s going to suddenly flip out, but he still seems just as excited as when he walked in.

“Atheist. Never been-parents hate churches. Can I still grab snacks?” Chris adds and Caroline laughs, nodding.

“I’m a little complicated, but it’s basically just hippie church.” PJ says, shrugging. “Singing and chanting and all.”

“I go about once a month-I’m Episcopal, officially, but I’ve been to other churches too.” Louise gently smiled, and with that, the group got started. They went around and talked about their weeks, a few upcoming events, a prayer, and then Caroline instructed them to get their books. Phil pulled a well-worn leather Bible out of his bag, and Dan’s eyes widened a bit when he opened it. There are post-it notes everywhere, with entire passages highlighted and notes covering practically every margin in Phil’s stupidly perfect handwriting. It’s clear that Phil’s spent a lot of time with the book.

“Since we have guests, I figured we’d take a break from our reading of Matthew and focus on a couple of specific verses today,” Caroline says brightly. “James 1:13-15: “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death.”

There’s a slight pause and Chris furrows his eyebrows. “Huh?”

“In simple terms-don’t say God isn’t the one to tempt you, because when you stray off His path, that’s on you.” One of the group members explains. “And if you do sin, it’ll lead to, uh, death.”

“Well, does God not tempt us to do bad things by putting so much pressure on us to be perfect?” A girl with blue hair jumps in, raising an eyebrow. “He sets the standard so high. Sometimes I’m just like, ‘Chill, dude. I can’t do everything. I’m not you.’ “

PJ snorts at that, giggling. “You call God dude?” They’re all laughing now, but Dan can’t believe it-he wants to jump in.

“Can I ask a dumb question?” His voice is a bit quiet but inquisitive. “Isn’t God supposed to be loving and forgiving? Why does He want you guys to be perfect? That sounds kind of...harsh.”

“Well, He knows we’re not perfect.” Phil says, and another guy nods.

“He asks for us to be because it strives us to be better. And it teaches us that messing up is okay.” The conversation keeps up for a bit before Caroline interrupts, asking them to focus on the latter half of the passage.

PJ narrows his eyes at the text before looking up. “Am I really gonna die if I sin?”

“Well, sin was what led us away from eternal life in the first place-Adam and Eve kinda messed that up for us.”

“Yeah, but our personal sins can lead us to death, too. Not just old sins. That’s what God’s warning us about here.”

“Not every sin does, though. Like mixed-fabric shirts.” Louise grinned a little. “Or grabbing dudes by their nads during fights.”

PJ’s eyes widened and he turned to Phil. “Are those actual rules?!”

“It was a different time!” Phil giggled as he watched him flip through the pages quickly.

“Where does it say we can’t grab nads?’

“Can we stop saying nads in church?” Phil pointed out, still laughing despite his red face.

Caroline tuts and wags a finger playfully. “Uh-uh, Philip. No judgment. They can talk about nads all they want, now.”

The entire room is laughing again as Phil buries his face in his hands. Finally, when he controls his giggles, Caroline speaks again. “Do you think talking about that kind of stuff in church is a sin, Phil?”

It’s teasing at first, but Phil actually thinks about it for a moment.

“Well...my household was pretty strict growing up. I mean, I got yelled at once for just sneezing during church.” He admits slowly and Dan’s eyebrows furrow a little. He can’t imagine either of Phil’s parents yelling at him, or anyone, really. “But I get why it was. They wanted me to love God, and respect Him, just like they loved and respected me and I loved and respected them. So I think if you do things with love, genuine love, it’s not a sin. But if you do things out of hate, or anger, or with the intention of hurting, that’s a sin. And that’s not automatically bad-like T’andra said, we’re all gonna make mistakes. Just keep on acting with love, and I think you’re good.” There’s a pause, and Dan’s face flushes slightly. Not just at how much Phil was saying “love”, but the words he spoke, and the true thought and passion behind them.

The moment is cut short when PJ snorts. “So if I love nads, I can talk about them to Jesus?”

By the time the room is back under control, the group is over. “Y’know, that was actually pretty fun.” Chris said after they had all grabbed snacks and talked to everyone.

“It was! It was like...philosophical debate.” Dan said. “The real nitty-gritty. The topics of good, evil, life, death, corruption-” Louise shoved him gently. “So deep, Dan. Of course you enjoyed it.” She joked lightly before adding “No offense, Phil!” Phil doesn’t seem to care-he’s grinning so wide it must be hurting his cheeks, and Dan would be lying if he isn’t tempted to start reading the whole Bible from cover to cover just to see him grin like that again.

Phil also manages to bring them to actual church services a couple of times (though getting college students out of bed before noon on a weekend proves to be a practically impossible task).

Dan has to admit he’s not as impressed with this as he is with the study group. The group is fun-they can all talk, and laugh, and actually discuss the points. Church is...not. They sit on hard pews. They listen. They stand and sit and kneel and stand and sit and kneel. They sing a few songs, and while Phil’s quiet baritone makes Dan’s sore knees quiver, it’s not enough to really warrant him waking up at 8AM on a weekend.

Phil is politely understanding of this, though it’s clear that this is of certain importance to him that his friends might not ever understand. It’s admirable if nothing else.

Other than storytelling from his childhood (which does little to make him seem more normal, honestly) and the weekly study, though, Phil doesn’t talk too much about the church to his other friends. Dan, however, is different. Maybe it’s just the fact that they live together and their space is more shared, but Phil opens up to Dan a bit more about it. He reads passages and verses to Dan, he prays in front of him, and he answers his questions in a non-condescending way. Dan has to admit that while he likes what Phil says, he can’t find himself connecting to it in the way Phil has, with his entire heart and soul. But Dan can admire the stories and the way his friend sees the world, and this new world that he’s entering with him.

It’s been a month of them being friends when Dan realizes that he’s seeing the world in two ways-Dan’s universe, and Phil’s universe. They’re so different, but (and he’s sure he’d never admit this out loud) Dan prefers when their universes collide.

When Dan comes home after a long day of classes and working at the campus bookstore, he’s exhausted. The soft music fades through the room as he opens the door to find Phil chewing on a pen, looking just as anxious as him. “I think my brain is leaking out my ears,” Phil said wearily, looking over the top of his glasses at Dan. “Do I have brain on my desk?” Dan snorts and rolls his eyes, reaching over and grabbing his textbook. “We need a break. And you need sleep-I know you took that second all-nighter last night, rule-breaker.”

“Fine. Watch something with me?” He says after a moment, grabbing his laptop. They load up an episode of Zoey101 (they’d finished Victorious the week before) and hit play.

As the bars from the theme song fade out, Dan suddenly feels a strange pressure on his shoulder. He glances over and finds Phil with his cheek pressed to Dan’s shoulder, glasses sliding down his nose as he lets out a soft snore. Dan pauses the show, and for a brief moment, it’s just the two of them. Dan and Phil.

He lives for those moments: Getting coffee after a class. Sending each other memes. Trying new food at the dining hall. Brief greetings in the halls. Shared looks as they hang out with their friend group.

It’s been a month of them being friends when Dan realizes he's never fallen quite this hard before. He doesn’t just want to make out, all hot and heavy, or go further than just that. He just wants this-Dan and Phil-forever, even just as friends. He didn’t expect to find that in this pale, bible-banging weirdo, but now that he does he never wants to let him go.

Dan’s getting that feeling now more and more, the Dan and Phil feeling when they’re in the study group a few weeks later. They’re both sat towards the back, trying (and failing) to hold back laughter as they’re hunched over Dan’s Bible.

“I have compared thee, O my love, to a company of horses in Pharaoh's chariots. Thy cheeks are comely with rows of jewels, thy neck with chains of gold. We will make thee borders of gold with studs of silver…” Phil says under his breath in a low, gravelly tone.

Dan turns to the next page. “O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely. Take us the foxes, the little foxes, that spoil the vines: for our vines have tender grapes!” He whispers, still trying to make his voice sound high-pitched.

“Behold, thou art fair, my love; behold, thou art fair; thou hast doves' eyes within thy locks: thy hair is as a flock of goats, that appear from mount Gilead. Thy teeth are like a flock of sheep that are even shorn, which came up from-”

“Dan, Phil, I’m guessing you both are whispering about how excited you are about our retreat at Camp Brabeck?”

The two both fall silent, Dan quickly glancing between Phil and Caroline, her smile wearing a bit thin from having to call them out. Phil’s eyes are wide, suddenly all signs of laughter gone. “Camp Brabeck?” He squeaks out, and the leader nods.

“On our upcoming four-day weekend. It’s up North, so it’ll be a bit of a drive, but we’ve already got the vans rented out and everything.” She says before noticing Phil’s sudden change in demeanor. “Phil, you’re from around there, actually. Have you been before?”

Phil blinks a few times before nodding, curling up into his seat a little. “O-Oh. Well, I actually did, once, but-”

“Great! So you’ll be down to come, right? We’ve got more space in the van, and it’ll be fun…” Caroline says hopefully, not letting him argue as he starts shaking his head. “Plus, if you’ve already been there, you can tell us all about it! C’mon, this is right up your alley. I think you’ll-”

“I’ll go if Dan does.” Phil blurts out suddenly, looking nervously over at. Dan’s definitely confused now-Phil loves the outdoors. He loves this group. He loves-well, to be fair, Phil seems to love most things. He’s racking his brain trying to figure out what it could be, but he just can’t, and now all eyes are on him, and-

“I mean...as long as someone brings bug spray.” Dan says slowly, Caroline beaming and writing on her clipboard before talking excitedly about the campground. The two stay quiet, Dan focusing on Phil’s eyes trained on her and hands gripping his Bible so tightly that his knuckles turn white.

The minute the group ends Phil makes a beeline to the door, walking so fast that Dan can’t catch up without actually chasing him. Dan’s phone dings a short moment later:

Sorry 2 run! Had 2 catch up w some1 4 a thing. Thx 4 signing up w me ^_^ - Phil!

Dan furrows his eyebrows, and not for the normal reason of Phil’s stupid abbreviations and the fact he insists upon signing all his texts. He’s trying to piece the pieces together from the few characters on his screen when Louise puts a hand on his shoulder.

“So what was all that about?” She asks with a raised eyebrow, giggling a bit as she gives his arm a light squeeze. “What did you show him that spooked him so bad?” Before Dan can speak, Chris is at his side.

“He’s just embarrassed that Dan was flirting with him during the Jesus Power Hour.”

“Dan, were you?” Louise gasped teasingly, and Dan sputters a bit, sliding his phone into his jacket pocket.

“Chris-what?! No, no, I wasn’t flirting. I wasn’t! He just-when she mentioned the retreat-and the camp-” Dan’s face is bright red now, suddenly the words from Solomon seem a lot less goofy and a lot more...romantic, to outsiders, with their heads bowed together with dumb grins on their faces.

Louise and Chris shoot Dan equally doubtful looks. “Dan-” She starts, but Dan grits his teeth.

“We’re not-neither of us are like that.” He snaps. As she steps back and Chris raises an eyebrow, guilt starts to pool in his stomach, but he can’t stop. “For one, I’m not gay, and two, Phil is gonna be a priest, remember? Aren’t they, like, sworn to celibacy?”

Chris and Louise glance at each other. “Mate...chill, yeah? We were just joking. We know you’re not...y’know.”

“Good.” Dan said before turning and stomping up the steps, the unnerving sense that the painting of Jesus had his eyes following him the whole way.

A few minutes later, Dan is sitting in the back garden of the church that Phil helps tend to after services, the wind whipping through his hair. Usually, he’d be walking to a Starbucks with Phil, discussing that session’s theme in-depth and watching Phil’s face turn pink as Dan releases the string of expletives he’s been holding in for an entire hour. The expletives are running through his head at top speed, as he spends about three minutes crafting the perfect text message.

hey, i’m sorry if i weirded you out today! didn’t mean to haha. i was goofing off way too much and i know you take these meetings p seriously. i’ll take it more seriously next time and not distract you

Dan hits send after rereading it about a million times, groaning audibly as he does. It’s not exactly a “Sorry I have a crush on you and made you seem gay but I get you’ll never like me and that’s fine I just wanna spend all my time with you”, but it’s the best he can do.

No worries! OMGosh I was just embarrassed 2 b called out like that hahaha! 0_o <= Literally my face. I was def the 1 who was whispering 2 loud. Lol! -Phil!

dude, it was totally on me. Dan texts back, chewing on his bottom lip. Phil had looked pretty freaked out, but if he was fine, maybe they could just...move past it? really, i started it.

Noooooooo! I take all the blame. I had some cookies b4 group and I was on major sugar rush. Btw...I had some of those cookies ur nan sent! Sorry, I’ll buy some snacks 4 us. Ask her to send more, tho? So good <3 Thank u! Take dancing men as an apology (/-_-)/ |(-_-|) -Phil!

okay, seriously, who taught you to text like this? my head hurts trying to decipher everything

DANCING MEN 4 U (/-_-)/ |(-_-\) ~(*-*)~ (/-_-)/ |(-_-\) -Phil!

you’re ridiculous. Dan can’t help but laugh, in spite of the churning feeling in his stomach. He drops his phone onto the grass next to him and looks up at the sky.

“If you know Phil so well, big guy, what do I do?” He asks before he can stop himself, before pausing. Half of him expects a thunderstorm to start, and him to get struck by lightning, or a rainbow to leap across the sky and the clouds to part to show Phil’s shining face as the sun. But after a few long moments of silence, Dan realizes he’s not going to get any divine intervention and groans.

“Well...let me know when you figure it out.”

The next couple of weeks go by quickly. Everything seems normal-they go to classes, they go to work, they go to group, they goof off. The four-day weekend creeps upon them, but before they know it the whole group is up at 6AM standing in front of a huge white van.

“This isn’t cult-ish at all.” PJ yawns, chucking his duffle bag into the trunk. Louise sips her coffee and squints over at Phil.

“This has to be a sin, you know. Not giving a girl her beauty sleep.” Usually, Phil would spout something about “being beautiful in His eyes”, but right now he’s getting the same sense of panic in his eyes that he had when the camp was first mentioned, laughing weakly as he adjusts his glasses. Dan is just awake enough to get the sense that Phil has been repressing the idea of the trip until this exact moment, but he also knows just how to fix it. He had been stockpiling on Phil knowledge for this exact moment.

Phil jumps a bit as Dan nudges him. “Relax. Listen, I know what’s up.” He says quietly, watching as his friend’s eyes widen and a blush spreads across his cheeks.

“What?!” Phil yelps a bit as Dan gently leads him away from the rest of the group. “I mean...what do you know? What’s up?” He asks quietly, fiddling with the strap of his messenger bag.

Dan holds back a fond noise as he smiles gently, shaking his head. “No need to be embarrassed, Phil. My mom went through the same thing for years.”

As Phil looks more and more concerned, wringing his hands, Dan digs in his own backpack for a moment before pulling out a small box of Dramamine and handing it to him. “So you don’t upchuck all over us.”

There’s a beat as Phil stares down at the box, eyes wide, and Dan almost thinks he’s got it wrong. Does Phil not get carsick? Was he insulted? Was he really that embarrassed by it?

Phil finally starts to giggle, but it seems more relieved than anything. He nudges Dan lightly and opens his mouth to speak.

“Ah, Dan and Phil! The dynamic duo. You two can sit in the back with the bags!” Caroline’s voice cuts through whatever Phil’s about to say, and he turns to Dan with a small shrug.

“Looks like it’ll just be you I puke on.” He says, a slight grin on his face as he pulls the door open for Dan, who rolls his eyes but steps in “Gotta get you a poncho for the splash zone.” Dan gags playfully before squeezing in to sit next to Phil amongst all the bags, rolling his eyes and plugging his earbuds in before holding out one bud to Phil and turning on their shared playlist-a mix of indie, Christian rock, (mostly clean) emo jams, and Disney Channel top hits. It’s not the most welcoming thing to listen to at 6AM, but if it keeps Phil calm and Dan from actually needing a poncho, he’ll welcome it.

The majority of the drive is spent in and out of sleep for Dan, guitar chords and vocals bouncing around his sleep-deprived brain. He’s not fully conscious until around noon when they’re about an hour away from the camp. The roads are getting twisty, and it’s then that he notices that Phil has his eyes screwed shut and face scrunched up, both hands shoved into his messenger bag. It only takes a slight peek for Dan to see his fingers curled tightly around his well-worn Bible, and he bites his lip.

Phil talks about leaps of faith a lot in group. Dan doesn’t quite get it, but he’s pretty sure he’s taking one when he slides his hand into the other’s bag and gently coaxes Phil’s hand into his own. The young man stiffens up for a moment before turning to stare at Dan with wide eyes.

“Shush. It’ll help nausea.” Dan mumbles, his own face red and praying that Phil won’t ask how exactly it will. There’s a pause before Phil smiles weakly, turning his face away, and Dan is about five seconds away from opening the van door and hurtling himself onto the road.

Phil’s probably just been playing nice, and now Dan’s gone and made it uncomfortable for the both of them, and Phil can’t even look at him. Dan’s whole body turns hot, but right before he can pull away, he feels Phil’s slender fingers intertwine with his own.

It’s not the first time they’ve held hands-they do it at the start and end of study groups, and at church, and that one time Phil got them all to hold hands while standing on a hill to reenact the ending of High School Musical 2 for his Instagram. Dan was a bit flustered then, too. But this is different. It’s...intimate. Phil’s never held his hand with such need before, fingers locked with his and palm quivering gently as he mouths a silent “thank you.”

Dan feels his entire body buzz, and he can’t help but close his eyes and try to focus on the music and not the fact that he feels like he’s literally twelve years old.

The rest of the ride somehow takes an eternity and only a minute before the van stops, Chris bemoaning his hunger loudly and the rest chattering excitedly. Phil finally opens his eyes and turns to Dan, slowly pulling his hand away.

They both look at their hands, and then back at each other. There’s a long pause before he opens his mouth, and Dan’s heart starts pounding so hard he’s surprised Phil can’t hear it.

All that Dan has thought about them staying platonic goes out the window. Dan wants nothing more than to lunge forward and shove his lips against Phil’s, to run his hands through his hair, to climb into his lap and-

“I didn’t puke!” Phil blurts out loudly, loud enough that everyone hears. The group falls silent before one of the other young men, Raz, gives Phil a thumbs up.

“Good for you, bud. C’mon, let’s get these bags up to the cabin, and then we can get some food to celebrate.”

Phil laughs a bit too hard at that, face bright red. As he clamors out of the van he leaves Dan in the backseat, trying to climb over the mountain of bags as he watches his friend chatter away as if nothing happened. He watches for a moment before shaking his head quickly, trying to erase the memory from his mind. He was just making things more complicated than they needed to be. They didn’t share a moment. No way.

Dan hauls his bag over his shoulder and walks along with PJ and Lou, struggling to stop the loop of those ten seconds from playing in his head.

Dan liked that the Bible study group wasn’t too Jesus-y. It was more philosophical than anything. Even church was just an hour a week on the weeks he went, which was really only once a month when Phil promised brunch afterward.

This weekend, he and his friends had realized, seemed to be where the group could get enough Jesus to last them until the next retreat. It started with grace before lunch-simple enough. But then a pastor had started to preach to them during lunch. And then after lunch. And then afternoon Bible study-for two hours, with a lot more reading and praying than actual discussion. Pj, Chris, and Louise were clearly trying not to fall asleep, while Phil sat off a bit, eyes trained on either the priest or his Bible, hugging himself tightly as he stayed completely silent.

“It’s just so boring!” Louise groaned once they were all finally outside and out of earshot. “I’m sorry, I know this is what you want to do with the rest of your life, Phil, but we’re in nature! Why are we just stuck in some stuffy room listening to an old dude read for hours when we can see the cool stuff God apparently built for us?”

“God wants me to climb some of those rocks over there.” PJ agreed, snapping a few pictures on his phone. “He tried to call me earlier to tell me so, but reception sucks here.”

Phil laughed a bit, but it’s definitely more hollow than his normal giggles. “I’m sorry, I-I really thought-”

“Wait. Haven’t you been here before?” Louise asked as PJ started jogging over to the huge rocks, Chris following shortly after. Phil paused before rubbing the back of his neck. “I-I mean, yeah, but-”

They’re both cut off by someone calling Phil’s name, and he whirls around to see the priest-the same “old dude” Louise had just been insulting-walk over and clap a hand on Phil’s shoulder.

“Philip, you must have grown a full foot since I last saw you!” Dan glances over at Phil with a slightly surprised look. He knew Phil had been here before, sure. But to know this man? Someone who seemed so different from Phil in so many ways?

“O-Oh, Father Richard. Hey. Guys, Father Richard worked at the camp I came to a-a couple of years ago.”

“And Philip was one of the finest boys there, wasn’t he?” If the man notices Phil shift from one foot to the other nervously, he sure doesn’t show it. “I mean, they were all wonderful young men, don’t get me wrong. But Philip-you’re truly going to be a man of the cloth. Don’t you both think?” Dan is watching Father Richard’s face closely, immediately feeling himself wanting to leave the conversation as soon as possible. If it wasn’t for Phil, he’d have made an excuse and walked off by now. It seems like Louise isn’t thrilled, either, but she smiles and nods a bit. “It’s clearly his passion, uh, Father Richard.”

“Oh, absolutely. As long as he keeps his head out of the clouds.” He throws his head back and laughs, Phil’s grin looking more like a grimace as he chuckles along. “I swear, this boy would lose his head if it wasn’t attached to him!”

“I think Phil’s pretty smart, actually.” Dan says suddenly, a good bit of bite to his tone. He’s not sure why, but something about this guy gives him the creeps. He stares him in the eyes as he gets a surprised look from both him and Phil.

After a moment, he clears his throat. “Well...I suppose he’s matured a lot over the past two years. Good to see you again, boy. We’ll have to catch up.” With that he heads off, giving Dan a slightly curious look as he does so, and Phil watches him go before shaking his head.

“Jeez. Phil Lester Fan Club over here.” Louise teased gently before frowning. “What’s his deal?”

Phil bit his lip and sighed. “That’s how he is.” He explained quietly, yelping as Louise pulled him into a tight hug.

“Philly…” She cooed before moving to sit on the grass with him, motioning for Dan to do the same. “Talk to us? You’re not usually closed off like this. We know something’s up.”

Phil squirms, and Dan can tell he’s debating whether or not to lie. He’s seen it before-when Chris asked if he looked good in his new neon t-shirt, or when some girl asked him once if she was being too annoying after complaining about her roommate to them for five minutes straight. “I just...I came to this camp when I was younger and had different ideas than I do now.” He explains finally.

“Like how interesting that Richard guy was?” Dan tries to joke, instantly regretting it as Phil brings his knees to his chest and curls up into himself.

His voice gets quiet, as it does sometimes when things get serious in group meetings and he’s comforting someone with a verse or trying to explain a tough concept to Dan.

“Like...I was raised to think God ruled with a vengeance. If you sinned in any way, He would punish you. That’s what my parents said. We were supposed to fear Him, y’know? And when I came here...Father Richard pushed that hard.” Phil explained gently. “But I don’t think God’s like that. I think we’re all sinners-we all make mistakes. James 3:2 and all that. God loves us in spite of our flaws. Hearing him talk about God like he was so cruel, and then reading about His love for us...it was the first time it didn’t add up for me.”

Dan’s eyes widened. In all his time of knowing Phil-two months doesn’t sound like much, but it feels like a lifetime ago-he’s never once heard him speak against his parent’s beliefs. Sure, he could admit that they were a bit extreme at times, but it was always quickly followed with how their intentions were good and that everything had been great.

“And as someone who wants to be a priest, I don’t think the way to get people to turn to God is to scream at them until they repent and scare them into not sinning. I think you need to be like Jesus. Hate the sin, love the sinner.” He continued, forcing a tiny smile as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Because we’re all His children, after all. And He’s got a path for all of us-fear won’t guide us onto that.”

There’s a moment of silence before Louise reaches down, giving his hair an affectionate tousle. “You start preaching like that and I’ll come to your church every Sunday. I’ll even sing in the choir.” She joked. A slow beam spread across Phil’s face-a a genuine one, and he stood up before pulling her into a tight hug.

“Thank you.” He whispered. “Thank you both. I-If I had known he would’ve been here, I’d have at least warned you-”

“Shush, mate. You had no idea. Trust me, you’re way too much of a softie to lie to us, we know that.” Dan laughed a bit, giving Phil’s back a light pat. Phil giggled a bit before pulling away, taking a deep breath.

“Wanna go make sure Chris and Peej don’t crack their heads open?” He said finally, and before they could say anything the two of them were taking off towards the rocks, Dan chasing after both of them. Despite his grin, he still couldn’t help but feel like his head was heavy with questions. Father Richard had seemed boring, and a bit grumpy, but not angry. Were Phil’s changing beliefs really all that had happened?

Phil had seemed relieved to talk for a bit, but the mood shifted again once evening activities started. Father Richard had preached again during dinner-and again, nothing terrible happened. He made a few dry jokes, he talked about having “complete and total faith”, he read some long passages that Dan didn’t care about. He was too busy glancing over at Phil next to him, who had left his food practically untouched.

Then there are evening vespers, with Phil’s hands clenched together so tightly in prayer that his knuckles turn white and his fingernails dig into the skin. The firepit seems to be going well-he shares a s’more with Dan, but before he could get another he’s pulled aside by Father Richard. Dan’s sure at one point the two glance over at Dan, but then Phil’s walking back over, trying to look interested in some story one of the group members is telling as he brings his knees to his chest. Even Chris and PJ seem to notice that something’s going on, but with a pointed look from Dan, they give him some space.

They turn in for the night, but Dan wakes up way too early to find Phil curled up on his bunk pouring over his Bible. The bags under his eyes tell Dan that he didn’t sleep a wink last night, and he sighs. “C’mon, you gotta show me where the showerhouse is.” He says gently, and Phil looks up at him with a tired laugh. “Do I?” He teased weakly. After a minute though, he sits up and stretches. “Mmm...fine. But no chickening out.” With that he hops down from the bunk, peeling off his shirt before walking over to his bag.

Dan’s pretty sure he gulps audibly as Phil grabs a change of clothes and a towel, eyes wandering over him. Though Phil braved the communal showers at Uni, he was always sure to change in the stall-Dan had never seen him in so much as a pair of shorts that went higher than his knees. And yet, here he was. Dan would feel guilty about watching him, especially considering he knew Phil was having a tough time, but…

He couldn’t help it. His best friend looked hot as hell from behind. He couldn’t help but admire his slim frame, his lean but toned arms, and when he turned around, the slight smattering of chest hair that slowly turned into a happy trail that crept lower, into-

“I’m telling you now, if you forget a towel you’ll regret it.” He said, voice still low from sleep, and Dan snapped his head up. “Towel! Right! Let me go grab that.” He squeaked and quickly moved to grab it, trying to hide his flushed cheeks as he snagged a change of clothes as well. By the time he looked up Phil was already heading for the door, humming under his breath, and Dan followed him quickly.

After a few moments of silence, Phil spoke. “Father Richard is leaving tonight, so you won’t have to sit through his lectures after today. He’s just stopping by to talk to us. So we’ll have less worship-y stuff and more free time tomorrow.” Phil glanced over at Dan. “Sorry if I’m weird about it. I just..y’know.”

Dan nodded and relaxed into the shared feeling of relief, even if he didn’t exactly know what Phil was talking about. Before he could ask, though, they were at the small building-just a row of four stalls that looked like bathroom stalls, built out of wood.

As Dan stepped inside and stripped-definitely not thinking about how Phil was doing the same just inches away, especially as he heard his sweatpants hit the ground-he rubbed his eyes. “Is there coffee here?”

“Oh, trust me, you don’t need coffee here.” Phil laughed a bit, a genuine one, and Dan raised an eyebrow, glancing over at where his head peeked over the stall.

“Dude, I’ve seen you-sweet fuck!” Dan shrieked as he turned the single knob on and freezing cold water shot out of a showerhead on the ceiling. “How the fuck do you get the hot water?!”

Phil was really laughing now, his witch cackle carrying over Dan’s screams. “No hot water at camp.” He sang playfully. “And no swearing, either, but-”

“Christ on a bike, no wonder you were fucking miserable here!” The words come out before he can realize it, and suddenly he freezes (as well as he can while shivering like mad), but Phil only laughs harder.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?”

Dan can hear the grin in his voice, and he lets out a long breath. “Whatever. Shitting fucking fuck! Let’s get this over with.”

Dan somehow manages to survive the worst shower of his life, his hair curling as he towels himself off before tugging on clothes and leaving the showerhouse. If it wasn’t for the bright smile on Phil’s face, he’d say it wasn’t worth it. But at least for right now, Phil is his old, giggly self again, and Dan comes to the realization he’d do just about anything to keep him like that.

Unfortunately for Dan, it doesn’t last long. As they’re walking back to the cabin, Phil glances across the way and sees Father Richard, walking through the trees.

“Oh, shoot, c’mon-” Phil grabs Dan’s arm and tugs him along a bit faster, not looking behind him for nearly a full minute. As he glances over and sees the look on Dan’s face he finally stops, sighing softly. The joy from before is gone. “Sorry. I just...too early to try to handle that right now.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s just get going to the cabin, yeah? I’m still freezing.” Dan jokes weakly, and Phil tries to crack a smile, still looking uncomfortable as they walk along the trail in silence.

The rest of the day is disturbingly similar to yesterday, and the whole group is sensing that Phil is just...off. He’s usually eager to jump into discussions, but even when Father Richard gives them the chance to talk, Phil seems totally holed up in himself, mumbling something about wanting to give others a time to speak (which pushes the topic along to Louise, who fumbles it totally and is earned a condescending smile from Father Richard).

By lunch, Dan thinks he can’t sit through another hour of this. By mid-afternoon, he’s considering faking being possessed by Satan. And by dinner, he’s come up with about forty ways to fake the possession. The only reason keeping him from doing so is that when he mutters it to PJ he tells him to wait until after dinner-if he keeps Chris from food, he’ll have bigger things to worry about than a camp full of religious fanatics thinking he’s possessed.

They set the tables and then get in line to eat dinner. Dan immediately realizes Phil isn’t anywhere to be found, exchanging concerned looks with Louise. When they get five minutes into dinner and realize that Father Richard is also missing, he starts to worry.

What if Father Richard was...well, what would he do?

The truth is, Dan doesn’t know what the big deal is with this guy. He honestly doesn’t seem to be too bad, but the control he has over Phil’s emotions is genuinely weird. Still, he doesn’t want to cause a scene.

“Hey, Caroline!” He says, quickly jogging over to the young woman, and she gives Dan a kind smile.

“Dan, hey! How have you been enjoying this so far?” She asked gently, resting a hand on his arm. “I know it can be intense, considering your, um...well, you weren’t exactly in the church before you joined us, and-”

“Caroline, it’s all great, but do you know where Phil is?”

She smiles and gives Dan’s arm a squeeze. “I’m so glad you two found each other, you know that? You guys are like-”

“Caroline.”

“Okay, okay. I won’t be mushy, even if you guys are my favorite freshmen.” She winked before waving her hand towards the door. “He’s out by the lake with Father Rich. They go way back, did you know?”

Dan nods slowly. It’s clearly not the answer he wanted, because Caroline leans in. “Don’t tell him I said this, but trust me, Phil’s not choosing Father Richard over you. You’re still his BFF.”

Wonderful. That’s the reassurance he needed right now, that Phil wasn’t going to choose a 65-year-old man to be his ‘BFF”. He manages to smile and thank Caroline before going to wait on the mess hall deck. If Richard was going to drag Phil away, then dammit, he was going to be the first to talk to him when he got back.

Phil doesn’t come back up to the mess hall for at least another hour. His eyes are rimmed red, and he’s alone. The second Dan hears his footsteps he shoots up. “Phil!” He shouts after he yanks his earbuds out, and Phil lets out a yelp, laughing shakily. “Oh my God, did he-did he make you cry?!”

Phil rubs his eyes quickly and giggles weakly. “Dan, I cry at everything. We cried together over that muffin in the dining hall on Wednesday, remember?”

Dan doesn’t look convinced in the slightest, but suddenly Phil’s arms are pulling him into a long hug. “We just had a long talk. Don’t tell me I missed anything?”

“They went on some dumb night hike, but-don’t tell me you wanted to go on the night hike?” He asked as he saw the disappointment on Phil’s face, frowning. “We can go! We can go right now, and meet them, and-”

“Dan. Breathe, okay?” He giggled and led Dan inside. “Our group can go on our own little night hike tomorrow, I’ll survive. Besides. I haven’t gotten to spend time with you these past couple of days, and I’ve missed you.” Phil’s voice is a bit softer, and he gives him a shy smile.

Dan’s face turns red and he sits down in one of the faded couches, Phil flopping next to him. “It’s only been, like, a day and a half.” He mumbles.

“It’s been a long day and a half.” Dan nods slowly, looking up at Phil.

“Is he gone?”

“Yep. Just left camp now. Didn’t wanna make a fuss.” Dan can’t help but roll his eyes a bit at that, shaking his head. “Now, c’mon. Can we talk about something fun? Like…” He reaches out and snatches up an old copy of Women’s Health from a bin by the fireplace, clearly meant for kindling. “What advice can we find for two lovely women like ourselves?”

As he flutters his eyelashes at him, Dan can’t help but laugh, grabbing the magazine from him. The two swap it back and forth, giggling like children at the stupid advice and making fun of all the pictures. The tension from before melts away, and suddenly it’s just Dan and Phil, the two of them being absolute idiots and laughing over nothing. After the last day and a half, it feels amazing to just laugh.

When they finish that one they go to the next one in the bin. They read through issues of Runner’s World, Golf Digest, Christian Living, Better Homes and Gardens, and even a Highlights before Phil’s stomach lets out a loud growl.

“Oooh, I need some food. Why don’t I go grab us some snacks from the kitchen? There’s some board games in one of the closets, find something for us to play?”

With that, he’s up and going into the kitchen, and Dan wanders over to one of the closet doors. Sure enough, he sees some old board game boxes peeking out behind some moving boxes. Dan goes to move one out of the way when he catches a peek of the pile of brochures inside. His eyes run over the text and clip-art outline of a strong-looking man. Program Judges 6:12 at Camp Brabeck: For teen boys and young men struggling with sexual impurity.

Sexual impurity? Dan grabs the brochure and flips it open.

Today, our young men are raised in a culture where abnormal lifestyles are being accepted, even praised and celebrated. It’s no wonder that more youth than ever before are turning out oversexualized and confused, and more than ever are struggling with same-sex desires...

From there on, the words start to blur together for Dan, and he flips the brochure over.

And then Dan sees it. In the top corner is Father Richard, smiling wide.

With his hand on Phil’s shoulder.

Dan feels his stomach churn violently as he looks at younger Phil. There’s no way it could be anyone else. Even if he’s a bit shorter, and his hair isn’t dyed, Dan’s studied Phil’s face long enough to know it’s him. As Dan grips the picture frame in his hands, Phil’s words from yesterday come back to him, hitting his chest like rocks.

“Hate the sin, love the sinner.”

Phil worked with Father Richard, at this-this “camp”, this place. They worked together.

“God loves us in spite of our flaws.”

Not only was Phil not gay, thus extinguishing the slightest bit of hope he had, but Phil was actively homophobic. Phil worked at a bloody conversion therapy site, for fuck’s sake.

“He’s got a path for all of us.”

Phil wasn’t uncomfortable about Father Richard-he was uncomfortable about Dan and their friends being around Father Richard, and them finding out just what a homophobic, lying, fake-

“I found Pop-Tarts!”

Phil’s voice interrupts the swirling thoughts in his head, and he slowly turns, holding the brochure up.

“Were you ever going to mention this?”

Phil’s face goes pale. “I...Where did you…” He whispers, but Dan growls. Actually growls. Red hot anger is taking control now as days, weeks, months, years of suffocated emotions rises to the top suddenly. A lifetime of not fitting in, a lifetime of hiding, and to be rejected by Phil-like this.

“Nice pic of you and your friend, Phil. You worked with him on this? You and Richard, two pals-and you knew we’d judge you for it, so you just decided not to tell us?!”

“Wait, wait, Dan, no. It’s not like that. That’s not what-” Phil tries to butt in. Dan isn’t having it.

“Do you realize what kind of damage you do to people, Phil?! You can’t act like-like Little Mr. Innocent about this, this is some seriously fucked up shit you’ve done!” Dan’s properly yelling now, getting to his feet and not even stopping as Phil cowers back. “And-And worst of all, you hid it from us! You talk like you love everyone, hiding behind your stupid flowery language, but you’re a total fucking hateful dick!”

Phil suddenly stands as well, putting his hands in front of his chest, but irritation is creeping into his voice. “Daniel. Listen to me, you don’t understand. I’m not hateful-”

“Oh-Oh yeah? Not hateful, huh? Not hateful when you say ‘gay is an artificial construct, created to celebrate people’s sinful homosexual desires’? Or when your stupid fucking camp goes to ‘remove young men from their unhealthy environment to bring them to Jesus and see the errors they’re making’?” Dan’s reading directly from the pamphlet now. “That doesn’t sound loving, Phil!”

“Dan, let me-”

“There is literally nothing you could say to make this better. You think you’re helping, don’t you? But you’re just-just spreading hate, and-”

Dan’s words are cut off as Phil suddenly grabs him by the back of his head, pulling him into a hard kiss. For possibly the first time in his life, Dan is rendered speechless, especially a few moments later when Phil pulls away and his eyes well up.

“Dan…” He choked out, sinking down onto the couch and starting to sob. “I didn’t-I didn’t-”

After a moment he grabs the brochure weakly. “I didn’t work at the camp.” He chokes out finally, and Dan just stands frozen in place.

“I was a camper.”

Dan hates that he doesn’t know whether he should trust him or not. But...this is Phil, crying ugly, hard sobs, and he can’t help but feel his heart break in two. “A...camper?” He asks slowly, moving to sit next to him but keeping his distance.

Phil lets out a pained noise but nods. “I signed up to go. Because I kept having these-these dreams, and these urges. And I thought if I did everything right, if I listened to Father R-Richard…”

He has to stop himself to catch his breath as it comes quicker, curling into himself and resting his head on his knees. “I thought if I could be perfect, I could b-be like him. A priest. A husband, to a wife. A father to my k-kids. An ex-homosexual.” He said, tears streaming down his face.

“Dan, I-I tried so hard…” Dan frowns, running a hand through his hair slowly.

“You can’t just-I mean, I don’t think it works like that, Phil,” Dan says after a moment, and Phil nods quickly.

“I know, I know. God knows I know. They tried everything on m-me. I mean, everything. But the more they did, the more angry I got, with myself, with Richard, with God. I hated God, Dan, I hated him so much, and I did all this stuff…”

Dan can’t stop himself but reaching out and taking his hand at that, and Phil clings to it almost instantly.

“I lied, and I ripped up my Bible, and I did stuff with the other guys there…”

Dan blinked a few times. For Phil, that was intense, and he can hear the guilt and true sorrow in his voice.

“You-I mean, no offense, but kissing a few guys and tearing up a book aren’t exactly unforgivable sins.” He says, hoping to bring him comfort. To his surprise, Phil laughs sadly.

“I did more than just kiss, trust me. When Richard found me in the showers with one of the guys-”

At that Dan’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. Phil, who half an hour ago was blushing at ads for tampons, in the showers with a guy? “He-He decided I needed more intense therapy. It was hours and hours of just being told how disgusting I was, being shown these videos, being preached at, b-but I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop feeling like I did.”

“Phil…” Dan feels his broken heart finally crumble. He pulls him into a hug, letting him sob into his hair.

“F-Finally I just lied my way th-through it. That’s what m-most of us do. And then I was th-the big success story, and they took that dumb picture, and it was finally over. I went home, and I was so mad I decided I’d go through my Bible-the nice, new one my parents had bought me, when they heard that ‘somebody’ tore up my old one-to s-see how wrong I was before and how terrible He was. So I stayed up for nearly a week, no school, no nothing. Just reading.”

Phil pulled away to reach out, grabbing his copy of the Bible from his bag “ And as I read, I…”

He took a deep breath as he opened it up and slowly turned the pages, motioning to the Post-Its and notes littering the scripture. “I didn’t find that. I found a God that wanted me to love-He wanted me to love my family, and my friends, and my neighbors, and-and guys. He wanted me to love you. He wanted me to love you, romantically.”

At that, Dan feels his heart stop and he gently moves to look Phil in the eyes. “You really think that?” He whispered, Phil nodding quickly as he ran a hand through Dan’s hair.

“God gave us all the ability to love-fully, and deeply, and wonderfully. And-And I love you, so much. I didn’t want to freak you out, and I’m not ready to be out, but-” This time it’s Dan’s turn to cut him off with a slower, gentler kiss.

“Shh. We don’t have to tell anyone.” He murmured.

“It can just be us?” Phil asked in a small voice. “Just you and me?”

At that, Dan is pretty sure he’s going to explode, because dear God that’s all he’s ever wanted. He wants to scream, he wants to jump up and down, he wants to run down the fucking mountain and throw rocks at Father Richard’s car-

Instead, Dan takes a deep breath before smiling and nodding. “Just me and you.” He agreed quietly.

He leaned in and kissed Phil again, cupping his cheeks. This time was gentler, and Phil let out a soft, relieved noise as his lips moved against Dan’s and he pulled Dan close to him.

“I love you,” Dan says once they pull away. “I love you, I love you, I love you-”

“Have I ever read you Proverbs 17:28?” Phil interrupts with a giggle. Dan raises an eyebrow but grabs Phil’s Bible, flipping to it.

Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.

“Did you just ask me to shut up and keep kissing you through a Bible verse?!” Dan whined, but he can’t help but grin as Phil kept laughing, nodding as he connected their lips again.

Time seems to stand still. Two minutes, five minutes, ten minutes, ten hours, ten years-Dan can only guess how much time has passed when they hear the group off in the distance.

“Shit-shit, okay, one last-” Dan jerked away but Phil giggled, grabbing the plate of Pop-Tarts and Dan’s hand before dragging him outside. He took him out a bit before they got down to the lake, sitting on the sand and wrapping his arms around Dan. Dan pauses before shyly climbing into his lap, and then they’re kissing again, Phil only pausing to catch his breath and murmur “I’m sorry you thought I could be homophobic.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask before jumping to conclusions.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t open up about what had happened.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you away from Father Richard.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t have been that guy in the showers with you.” The words leave Dan’s mouth before he can stop himself-humor is a coping mechanism for him, but right now, he wants to kick himself when he hears Phil’s gasp.

“Oi! Not yet, at least.” He said with a slight laugh, pressing his lips to Dan’s cheek and watching as his face burns red. He grins and presses a few pecks to his lips before looking up at the sky.

“...You really think God wants this for us?” Dan says and Phil closes his eyes, snuggling closer.

“‘For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:113 to 114’.” Phil recited quietly.

“God made us fearfully-like, with great awe and respect of us-and wonderfully. He made us find each other, he made us love each other.” He kissed Dan’s nose. “So that’s us. Fearfully and wonderfully made.”

Dan looks at Phil with a soft smile, a bit worn from all the excitement of the day, but feeling...free. “Fearfully and wonderfully, huh?”

Phil nods, and Dan pulls him even closer.

“I could get used to that.”

#dan howell #phil lester #dan and phil #amazingphil #daniel howell #phan #phan au #phanfic au #phanfic #phanfiction #phan fiction #college phan #phan humor #phan fluff #phan angst

6 notes · View notes

risenfrommyimagination · 4 years

Text

Insecurities | Tom Holland x You

Submitted by the lovely @cosmicinferno18

Your writing literally has me so captivated! If you have time, could you do a Tom Holland x reader fic where it kinda starts off with angst then transfers into fluff? Maybe the reader cancels date night again and Tom gets frustrated finally because this has happened before. (Maybe she cancels bc she’s trying to better herself to be the best girlfriend possible for Tom…influenced by hate from Tom’s fans??) I know you’ll blow this out of the water!! (sorry for all of the detail lol)

A/N: I struggled a little bit with this, so I kept your idea, hope you like it. If you like it, feel free to reblog it, tell me how you feel about it :) Please send me more stuff like this ♥ Masterlist The fabric of the dress flows down your body, the hem of it tickling over your skin. Your hands grace over the soft fabric, pulling it a little down, trying to tug it in the right places. It sits perfect, hugging your curves, but it feels off. You turn a little, looking at yourself in the mirror. Somehow you look different.

“No”, you mumble, taking off the dress, slipping back into your worn out shorts. No shirt. The dress lands on the floor and you turn to the right, to your wardrobe. Your fingertips gliding over the clothes, searching for the right one.

“Honey I’m home." Downstairs, a door slams into the lock, Tessa, who was just dozing next to your feet on the floor, jumps up, running down the stairs to welcome home her favourite person. And yours, too.

"Helloooo”, you hear his voice rising a little bit, “hey baby.” Tessa barks, probably jumping around his legs, while he tries to pet her. "Bubs?“ The staircase creaks a little. "Are you up there?”

He’d come up any second, not answering was not an option. “Yeah.” You stop, sighing a little. “I am upstairs.”

Maybe the blue dress you wore to his mother’s birthday last month? It wasn’t too casual but also not too dressy for going out. And also Tom liked it. A lot. So much that he couldn’t keep his hands off you at the end of the evening, pulling you into his old bedroom and locking the door.

“Here you are.” A warm hand slips on your waist from behind, soft lips pressing a small kiss on your shoulder. “Hey you. "Hey…” The rest is stifled by his lips crashing against yours, his hands grasping around your waist, turning you to him. A happy tingling in your stomach.

“Thought you’d be ready when I get home, but this is also a nice surprise.” His index finger traces up your naked back, leaving a warm, tickling trail behind. The smirk pressed against your lips, his left hand grabbing your waist a little tighter.

“Sorry.” You back up a little. “Couldn’t decide what to wear.” “Yeah I see that.” Tom’s eyes glance to the stack of clothes on the floor. “What’s up?” “Nothing.” You shrug it off. “Just don’t feel that comfortable today.” “You look good in anything.” He plants a small kiss on your forehead. “But I can’t wear anything." A little sigh. "It’s not that important.”

But it was. So much to you. It was just a small event Tom and you wanted to go this evening, a small come together from a company who invited some celebrities to join them. Celebrities like Tom. And also you. Not specifically, but you are his plus one, his girlfriend. And although this won’t be a huge event, there would be some press, some reporters taking pictures of him. And also you. Pictures that would be published and talked about. And you wanted to look good, not because Tom cared about the way you looked, but you did. Because you felt like you had to, to present him the best out there.

“It is…” You lick your lips, trying to explain this weird, anxious feeling inside of you. “Nevermind." "How about the blue dress?” Tom’s hands are tracing over your waist, tickling your soft spots softly, lips hovering over your forehead. “You really look good in it.”

As you said: he liked it. “Maybe, yeah.” You pull it out, the beautiful blue fabric is soft under your fingers bunching it a little up. Stepping back, you turn to the mirror, holding it in front of you, pressing it lightly against your body. “Hm…”

“Looks good.” Tom presses a small kiss behind your ear, smiling at you in the mirror. “Wear this, gonna make myself, ready, too.” “Ok.” You watch him leaving the room, then your eyes fall back on your reflection in the mirror and you let the dress sink, looking at your almost naked body in it. Something feels weird since days, almost that you don’t belong in your body. It doesn’t feel like yours the last days.

How can he date a girl like her

A single, uncontrolled thought rushes through your pain, drilling in your heart and your throat tightens. Some weeks ago, maybe three right now, his fans, the public got wind from your relationship. Almost two years you had for yourselves with no one caring about his relationship status and although you’ve been to a few events with him in the past, no one noticed you. And you never complained about it, you were fine with it, but something changed. Fans talked about you, nice things, but also not so nice things.

You tried so hard to ignore those comments, talking about you hair, your body, how you dressed. But as much you tried, it made you feel insecure, making you look in the mirror twice before leaving, putting on more make-up to hide behind it. To hide your flaws, the red spots, dark circles under your eyes. And you started to pay more attention what you wore. Less baggy clothes, no trips to the grocery store just wearing leggings and an old sweatshirt. Something in you pressured you, making you live up to the girlfriend Tom should be seen with.

Slowly, you shake your head, trying to push those thoughts out.

You needed to get ready. Become his plus one today. You open the zipper of your dress, slipping into it. The cold, smooth fabric snuggling onto your skin, you zip it back up, turning to the mirror. It looks nice on you, but it does not feel like the same dress you put on last month.

“Hmm you look good.” Tom enters the room again, just wearing some brown checkered dress pants, nothing else, already looking really fine, with basically no effort. Your throat tightens even more and you open the zipper.“Don’t know.”

The dress falls to your feet and you grab it, hanging it back on the hanger. “You looked good in it.” Tom pulls a simple white collar shirt from the wardrobe, starting to unbuttoning it. “Really.”

You bite your lip. That’s not the point. Absolutely not.

Tom loved you whatever you were wearing. From nothing over his shirts to a little bit more fancy dresses. The point was that somehow others started to care, talk about how you looked. And as much as you hated to say it, because you thought you loved yourself enough to get through such things, you seemingly didn’t.

“Hey.” Arms wrap around you from behind, your naked back hits his warm chest. “What’s wrong?” “Nothing, I just..” Your heart wrenches as you see both of you in the mirror. Tom’s happy smile, his arms around you, holding your body, that felt so weird, your hair falling flat around your face, not framing it so beautifully as it always does. “Maybe you should just go alone.”

“What?” His arms loosen, he steps back a little. “Are you cancelling on me?” “No, I…” Trembling mixes in your voice and you turn around, facing him. “I just…” Your hand runs through your hair and Tom shakes his head lightly.

“Just put on a dress, it’s not that hard.” The slightly hard, annoyed undertone hits directly in your heart and you gulp, pressing your lips together to not spill. To not tip over.

”It is.” Tom looks at you as you just told him you sold Tessa in order to save his career, his right eyebrow arched, this sceptical look in his eyes. “It’s not. Just put it on.” It’s just a small eye roll, a moment, but it hurts you.

Right in your already shaking, trembling heart. “I can’t ok, like there are people and…” Your voice starts to crumble, tears rising in your eyes, because you tried so hard to hold yourself back. “I can’t just put on a dress and pretend I don’t care how I look, because there are people and…”

Tears are running down your face and you stop, feeling absolutely stupid. To cry about this. To stand in front of him, telling him this.

“You are fucking pretty.” Tom makes a little step to you. “Just…put on this stupid dress and come with me.”

His fingers nudge against yours, trying to pull you with him, but you can’t move. It’s not a stupid dress, it’s not just this burning in you, scaring the hell out of you.

“Ok.” He lets his hands sink down. “Fine.” His eyes are dark, you don’t know if it’s anger or disappointment or both, but it hurts. And you wish you could say something, telling him to stay. To stay in with you .Turning this date night around. But the only thing that turns is Tom. Away from you, grabbing a his jacket and a pair of socks.

“I am going without you.” There is no softness in his voice, nothing telling you to please come with him. “Thanks for the great date night.”

And you just watch him leave the room, the stairs cracking as he walks down, tears running down your cheeks. A minute, moment, you don’t know, the door slams into the lock and a deep, husky sob runs over your lips. Cold runs over your body, your naked skin and you wrap your arms around you, wishing it to be Tom’s. You thought he’d act differently, understand you. Somehow, feeling like in trance, you pick up your shorts, slipping into them, then the hoodie lying on the bed.

It smells like Tom, he wore it today. You pull the cuffs over your hands, the hood over your head and head down. Tessa is lying in the hallway, looking at you as you step over her, heading into the living room. Your body sinking down in the pillows, Tessa following you, throwing herself at you. She knows what’s up, trying to comfort you.

“It’s ok baby”, you mumble, petting her heavy head, “I am fine.”

But you are not.

You just ruined the planned date night with your boyfriend you love so much. Because you feared what other people thought of you. For a few weak moments. And now Tom was gone. Another sob runs over your lips and Tessa snuggles up even more to you, licking your hand.

The entrance door slams in the lock again and Tessa lifts her head from your lap, her tail wagging a little bit. And your heart stops. Fifteen minutes did go by since Tom left, this was probably Harry coming home. Steps are coming closer, you hear shoes falling down on the floor and Tessa jumps down from the couch, leaving the living-room.

“Hello?” Your voice is still trembling a little bit, you wipe over your cheeks. “Harry?” No answer. Maybe. Your heart stops, bringing you back on your feet, your knees shaking so hard as you walk towards the hallway. And there he is, Tessa jumping around his legs, but his eyes are on you standing in the doorframe.

“You’re back.” No reaction, then he shrugs and turns around, entering the kitchen, Tessa following him. And you, too. Tom leans against the counter, curls falling in his face, Tessa lying down to his feet, hoping she’d get something to eat, although this isn’t about food right now. Absolutely not. You keep your distance, your left hand resting on the countertop of the small kitchen island, not knowing what to say.

“I am sorry.” Three words, whispered, hanging between both of you. Like a reached out hand you hoped he would grab.Tom doesn’t. He keeps silent, his head lowered, eyes glued on his red and blue speckled socks. Your heart hurts so bad, screaming at your head to say more.

“The last weeks, they….” Trembling mixes in your voice. “I just feel so insecure, like people hating on me just because I am your girlfriend, this is…insane and I..” A tear rolls down your face. “I didn’t want to hurt you nor ruin the date….I…”

“I am sorry, too.” Four words whispered from his mouth, red-rimmed eyes glancing at you, pulling strings in your heart, letting it ache so bad.”I was stupid and…”

“Tom…” “Look at you.” He steps a little closer, his fingertips trailing over your arm, sending warm shivers down your spine. “God you’re so beautiful.” A little sob coaxes over your lips. “Have you looked at me recently?”

“Right now, yes.” Tom’s left hand grasps your waist, pulling you away from the counter, towards him. “And you still are.” Silent tears are running down your cheeks and you wipe them away, a little smile hushing over his lips. “Don’t lie.”

“I don’t.” His arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest, soft lips hovering over your ear. “I saw the comments.” A sting in your heart. “You shouldn’t look at them.” “And you neither.” Tom plants a little kiss right under your ear. “This just got out of hand and..it scared me.”

You look up, in his still red-rimmed eyes. “Why?” “Because this is a lot, more than someone would ever go through in a normal relationship.”

Little laughter escapes your mouth. “Thought we agreed that this isn’t normal.” Tom’s warm chuckle next to your ear runs a warm shiver down your spine. “You’re right, but still…I am going to stop this.” “How you social media expert?”A nudge in your side, making you giggle. “Talking to them tomorrow.” Your heart jumps and you look at him. “You don’t have to…” “I want to.” Tom nudges the tip of his nose against yours. “I promised to keep you away from this and I will.” “Tom….” Tears are welling in your eyes and he pushes your chin up lightly, his lips molding with yours before you can even finish your sentence. Your hands find their way in his hair, tangling them in it, pulling him closer.

“You are absolutely gorgeous ok?” Whispers against your lips. “No matter how you look.” His hands wander down your back, gracing over you butt, squeezing it lightly. “I mean, phew..”

A soft chuckle. “You know I can’t keep my hands off you.” “Yeah, I see.” You grin and he pulls his hands back. “Sorry. “Eh.” Quickly, you grab them, placing them back on your butt and a smile curls at Tom’s lips. “Do you want to order some food?” You arche an eyebrow. “You don’t want to go out?” Tom shakes his head. “It was all about spending time with you.” “Pizza sounds nice.” “Who said we’d order pizza?” “Me.” You stick your tongue to him and he sighs, but planting a small kiss on your forehead. “Pizza.”

#tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x fem!reader #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #tom holland imagines #tom holland story #tom holland stories #tom holland fic #tom holland fiction #tom holland submission #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland fanfic #tom holland angst #tom holland girlfriend #tom holland headcanon #submission

432 notes · View notes

kangtaebins · 3 years

Text

Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,,

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

#idk what to put in the tags so if you actually read all of these then damn you're the real mvp

3 notes · View notes

neko-shinigxmi · 4 years

Text

.: Day 1 - F/O February :.

Reverse Self-Ship: You are your F/O’s F/O!!

I’m from a video game series akin to an odd mix of Watch_Dogs and Grand Theft Auto. Things can get a little pervy, hijacking cars is involved, stealth and adventure abound...but so is a bunch of ridiculous, silly things, like a petting minigame that triggers randomly when interacting with my cat.

There’s a single-player mode focused on my background and meeting up with past friends or exes...and is story-based, allowing you to attack and kill them, befriend them again... All sorts of stuff.

Also, the option to adopt more cats and become a crazy cat lady...in spirit.

Shit, romance people if you want! Live life!

Marcus got Wrench (Reggie) the game as a birthday gift. It was mostly a joke, because Reg REALLY thought he wouldn’t like it....and what else do best friends do but give their bffs prank gifts?

Still, Marcus bought it for him new... So Reg boots it up and gives it a chance, anyways.

......holy shit, he actually likes this WAY more than he first thought he would.

First of all, he HATES animals; every one he’s ever met seems to hate him and hurt him, so he’s turned his back on animalkind. However, throughout the game, I’m NOTHING but kind to every animal and suspicious of every person I meet.... Some of which he understands completely. There are some ASSHOLES in this game!!

Also, the way I croon to my cat and get into baby talk... It’s so damn cute to him. Really makes him feel some kinda way, which he flushes over. (Haha, wow that’s embarrassing.)

The point is, he ends up hating animals a little less and starts loving cats a LOT more.

Actually had to put down the controller and walk away from the game when doing a dancing minigame. He could barely focus on the button commands with how cute I was being while doing the dances.

Proceeds to look up people who 100% the dances just so he can save them to his phone. Watch them whenever he wants.

Later deletes them, 100%s them on his own, and THEN saves them onto his phone. Is a lot more happy with them, cause they’re HIS gameplay videos and not someone else’s.

LOVES messing around with outfits. Someone on the staff was either a big fan of cats or just...made that my most out-there personality trait (second only to the games and show in my world that are obviously knock-offs of real-world games), but he’s not complaining. Running around in cat ears and a cat tail? So damn cute.

His personal favorites are the masks I have combined with the matching jackets; it makes me feel more relatable to him...but he’s a greedy man and always eventually takes them off so he can look at my face.

Has SO MANY PICTURES on Facebook of him playing this damn game. Marcus kinda thought he was pranking at first, but now the whole squad knows Reg is a bit of an addict.

They got him the other games on Christmas and he cried. Everyone was....kinda in awe.

Josh got him a t-shirt with my character on it that reads “Bee Paw-sitive~!” on it. He wears it a LOT.

He definitely started up a collection that rivaled....basically no one else in the fandom.

HATES seeing the fandom pairings. And since you can romance anyone due to my sexuality canonly being Panromantic...it’s frustrating.

(Well, he’s Bi, so some of the people he wouldn’t mind sharing with, yeah....but he’s specifically venomous over the people he’s SURE are my friends only. Or are/were super toxic to me in my past. So, so bitter that anyone likes those ships, but holds his tongue only bc he got a figurine of me doing some cutesy pose next to his monitor. It helps him keep his head.)

Literally has a savings account reserved for merchandise. If it exists, he wants to buy it. If it doesn’t, but someone’s commissions are open? He’s gonna buy it.

Has bought art, jumped on art-trades/requests to get MORE art of us together. Has two plushies of me, as well as a body pillow. Continues to seek more things.

Is honestly upset that my size is medium (and so he can’t wear my canonly fitted clothes), BUT that doesn’t stop him from owning a single shirt in my size AND getting items that mimic my wardrobe.

He likes to imagine we can match together....or I can wear HIS version of my fave shirts when mine are dirty~!

Is still debating getting a kitten. Until that day, cat plushes are among the only other plushes he has (aside from mine).

Weird as he felt about it, he later admitted to his friends that he....kinda felt romantically towards me? And was thinking about just being fictoromantic...

Josh was the first one to see no problem with it and fast. People can be hard to work with, so... You do you. (Reg then felt bad about bullying him so much....oop.)

Horatio was also quickly on board. “Hey man, they make you happy. If it helps, it helps.”

Marcus....was a little more confused, but got in the spirit of it, regardless. “man, if I knew you would’ve actually liked it, I woulda got it for you a lot sooner!! Have fun, man.”

Sitara doesn’t quite get it, but.... It sure explains why Reg kept pestering her to tag “Purrfect Anarchy” in certain places and commissioning her for stylized art of him with them.

T-Bone....kinda harasses him about it, but the group stands by Reg. Josh is pretty upset about it, though.

He also follows every piece of news and publicly shares it, after admitting to being ficto. LOTS more pictures like, “Cutie’s got good taste.” [selfie with him sticking out his tongue and wearing one of the replica shirts] “Dinner date with bae!” [screenshot of me looking at the screen of his laptop, dinner and candlelight between us]

Everyone rolled with it more and more over time, so now it’s entirely not uncommon for them to bribe Reg to do things by dragging me into it...

Sitara: Hey, you leaving? Wrench: ...yeah, why? Sitara: Can you get me a coffee while you’re out? Wrench: Wh-? Why should I get you-? Sitara: I bet Rachel would like you doing something like that, y’know. Wrench: .....That’s cruel. You’re cruel. Sitara: I know~! You know how I like it, thank you, and Rachel loves you. Wrench: [sputters audibly and shuffles out the door, muttering to himself, embarrassed]

They don’t do a LOT of crimes anymore, but... Definitely still fuck shit up w/ cops. Reg daydreams a shitton about a masked romance and the anarchy we could commit together... After all, I helped him be braver. So he could help me, too, and then..... So much glorious chaos. Maybe makeouts in his car...

Was literally the type to not give a SHIT about marriage or kids, but now nonstop thinks about our lives together. Anarchy and domestic lifestyle shit can coexist, right? We can be married, have our cute lil’ two story (three, if you count the attic AND a basement), and some kids.....and also go create anarchy and throw bricks at cop cars and cause so much damn trouble..... Right?

He’ll even get a CAT for our home. It’ll be our first kid and not only will he be SO COOL, but they’ll name her (yes, a girl) Princess Leia and I’ll probably cry in happiness!!

Reg is DETERMINED to be the best husband/boyfriend ever. Doesn’t matter which, cause whatever speed I’d like to go at? Hell yeah, he’s down for it. Just as long as he can still hold my hand and gush over how cute I am and-

Has gushed about me and my series before and WILL do so again, prompted or not.

Actually participated in the fandom a little. Mostly does reblogs and such, but has written a few stories (self-inserts are the majority), done some not too shabby art, and prides himself on being the BIGGEST fan of the series with all the merch he has AND commissions bought.

Made a select few friends who also are fans, but... Is constantly anxious about his self-shipping. Either that they might eventually think he’s weird, send more anon hate (he’s gotten some in the past for “being a creep”), or- worst yet- also self-ship with me and he’s still dealing with that idea.

Until then, he’s got a wedding ring he bought cheap at the jewelry section of some store, so.... Coping skills, babey.

#FOFebruary #FOFebruary2020 #Aki speaks #otp; purrfect anarchy #self ship #self ship community #oH LOOK I'M DOING THINGS ALL OF A SUDDEN.....#O D D #anyways have this thank u

17 notes · View notes

thevoidcannotbefilled · 4 years

Note

Can you talk some more about this FMA-in-TMA-'verse AU? If you don't want it on this blog, then I'd be fine with something on your other blog, so long as you send me the link to the post (because I wouldn't otherwise see it prolly).

I’m fine with it here!

Okay there’s two versions. 1) Non-Archivist version. The journey is the same but there’s a statement at best. 2) The version where in his research to get his body back to normal, Ed ends up at an Institute possibly even The Magnus Institute or at least, the German branch of the Magnus Institute (bc Amestris is based vaguely on Germany), where Ed ends up as a researcher and then possibly as an Archivist.

Either way the backstory is the same:

Ed and Al are very young when their Father leaves them with their mother left behind. Hoenheim was a strange man, memorable, but still, every strange. He had this gaze, not unkind, but it seemed far too long and far too sharp, and as far as anyone could tell, at the very least, Pinako would say, he seemed as old as he was the day they met him. But some people just age differently…right? Right.

Either way, Trisha raises Ed and Al alone, and the two are free to explore their house…and eventually their father’s study. In there, they find various odd things. Books especially, some of which say from the Library of Jorgen Leitner…?

Trisha finds them before they get a chance to read too far.

But their interest in the supernatural is peaked, and in the little research they saw, they found a fascination with the power it could hold, but to use and to be wary of. They don’t go far, but they look into little things, ghosts, Leitners, even vampires, and with it, they gain knowledge that children shouldn’t have at their ages.

And then Trisha dies.

Now, they know ghosts exist. They know powers beyond their imagining exists. They’re children, and they love their mother…so they try to bring her back.

From here, idk the exact series of events. Maybe they still would go learn from Izumi (which since this is probably modern times, it wouldn’t be as okay to take children, but she probably would send them info. She probably would be Slaughter or Hunt aligned, I’d think? Maybe Beholding, but Hunt seems the best of the three).

I think they’d try to research End specific things and a little bit of Flesh…and of course, it goes wrong. Their mother…she doesn’t come back.

Tbh, I would find it most interesting if they accidentally created a creature..and it lived. A weird combination of Flesh and End, not really living but living enough to have a heart and be made from the ingredients of what makes “people”. There wouldn’t be a door or Truth… just the End and the Flesh mixing and Al and Ed paying the consequences of it.

I can’t think of a way where Al’s soul could be bound. I just can’t. The only way it could work… if we go FMA canon, where Al is in the body of the creature they made… but instead of dying the moment it was created, Al is just stuck in it. Ed meanwhile loses a couple limbs, but more importantly, he’s marked by the End and the Flesh….maybe gaining ability from the End in its mark.

From here, Ed probably journey’s his brother. Al can’t come along because of the new monster form, so Ed would be alone.

If Ed becomes an Archivist and researcher…well, he’s already marked by the End and the Flesh, he would make for a good Archive, no?

I’m gonna go a little bit on the first one, not too much. But just imagine Ed, Roy, Riza, and all the others being stuck in a room together in an Archive with ED as their boss. Or or or, Roy was being trained as an Archivist bc he was marked by the Slaughter and later Desolation, and Ed being put with him as a back-up Archivist/researcher.

King Bradley is probably the head of the Institute, with Father being a Web Avatar with a bunch of other avatars under his beck and control (all based off different powers. Envy: Stranger. Lust: Web or Hunt. Gluttony: Flesh. Greed: Vast Bradley: Beholding but with Slaughter tendencies. Sloth: Buried with a side of Flesh and Lonely. Pride: Dark). Father put Bradley there on purpose in order to keep an eye for any good contenders.

Hoenheim and Father were twins years ago. Father manipulated Hoenheim into being a part of a Web ritual, and ended up making him an avatar in the process. The ritual, of course, failed, and Father after years of observation realized that bringing one person wasn’t enough, he needed many.

Hoenheim left Trisha for similar reasons as in canon: he wanted to become human for him family. He just ended up being too late.

Quick fire things in no particular order:

- Moral conflict between Ed and the others. He is a character who’s main thing isn’t killing in a killed or be killed world, so he’ll have to deal with that.

-Riza’s dad was probably involved in some desolation shit, and as a result, Riza got a fire tattoo on her back to which Roy burned off for her.

-Listen I want Olivia in this but idk how, but she’d be marked by the Slaughter just by how hardcore she is. Alex Louis Armstrong might be a member the Archives as well, or he might just be a random dude? Hmmm. Maybe he would join the Archives later.

-Hughes is def a part of the Archives. He realized something was fishy about this whole Institute business, but he got killed before he could tell anyone the details he found.

-Nina and Alexander is part of a Flesh thing, and it’s just as horrific as canon.

-Ed has HIGH empathy for all monsters, even the worst ones because of Al’s state. As a result, he nearly gets himself killed a lot trying to see the humanity in avatars that don’t want to be human anymore.

-Al is at home getting used to his form. Possibly if there’s a scene where they have to hide or at the very least, get away from the Institute, they go to their place, and everyone in the Archives realizes what Ed’s been fighting for this entire time. Al is in fact, coherent in his new body, if in constant pain, and can barely speak. I feel like he does a lot of research while Ed is gone, in a different way.

-Pinako and Winry are physical therapists. They help Al in whatever way they can.

-Oh! When Ed first loses his limbs, they don’t bleed. They just cut off perfectly, so he doesn’t bleed out. He gets prosthetics.

-Baby faced Ed says he’s 18. Keep in mind, he probably tries to join the institute when he’s 12. He is somehow let in to the bafflement of everyone and his own smugness. At 14, he’s moved down to the Archives.

-Idk if his crew would lead to the end of the world, but it could easily lead to the end of the world with the Web at its center.

#pomrania #the magnus archives #tma #fma #fma:b #body horror #long post #THIS GOT WAY TOO DETAILED #ask the void

19 notes · View notes

incarnateirony · 5 years

Text

It’s... Supernatural.

You know, we all say we love this show or respect where it came from, but there’s a perspective that screams beneath the surface that I think a lot of people don’t really grok

Lines float around, about Eric not having anything big under his belt before it or not thinking the show would make it year to year, or him saying it became more than he could ever imagine -- we know that in practice, but I think very few people understand what it really reduces to. I have a tumult of feelings right now in a way that’s strangely personal.

If you look at Eric Kripke’s history -- really look at it -- before Supernatural he really had two projects. They were self-written and directed shorts. Some of you know the friendships I have littered around the industry. Some are still at this point. Some have made their break. And I’ve been on both sides of that fence. He also had his weird little Tarzan thing he pitched around the same time, but it fell on its face pretty fast.

But Supernatural... Supernatural is honestly the story of a young author, respectively a kid, who had a lot of Ideas(TM). You’ve been that person -- hoping the right person would see the brilliance you had floating around in your braincase and give you a shot, or tell you what you needed to fix so they would.

Kripke was a young man with a lot of Ideas(TM). And he went in with his first idea and it tumbled in, and that’s okay, he reworked it. And he laid his idea out there prostate and a few names looked at it and said... I’ll sign on. I think this kid has something.

We can bitch about, say, Robert Singer all we want -- I do definitely believe he’s kind of uh, lost his edge with age. But he’s part of that. There were a handful of Industry Olds that got their hands on it and said... sign me on.

We can see this in action in other CW shows, such as The Outpost -- another fandom you may remember I’m avidly involved in, or was -- I got some personal news about Things(TM) I can’t/won’t talk about that have hurt personal friends I have on that team that have made me distance from it, but Arrowstorm is still a phenomenal indie team that was given a chance when Dean Devlin of Electric Entertainment looked at it and said, “you know what, these kids have something.” And now a bunch of awesome D&D nerds that used to use Kickstarter to fund feature films indie at 75K a pop have a CW show moving into their second year.

And myself, before my life collapsed in on itself from domestic violence, when I met my first good friends that had Names(TM) -- Susan, Jerry, Bruce -- I won’t namedrop more specifically beyond that -- that started motoring my work around to get it where it needed to be to, well, exist.

When you start like that, you still don’t have much. Your budget is... kind of hilariously small. You’d be shocked the kind of jumping jacks you learn to make 40K make for starter funding before you get rolling into your bigger contributions and budgets. The things you turn over in your head with a mix of your own young ingenuity and senior guidance from people who have run this mess before.

But this little show from this dude with next to no history got a few names and held this distant dream that, if he was lucky, maybe he could have a five year plan. He writ out a few pages of loose overlay and stepped in. He had what was essentially a backwater network that ran low ratings anyway that gave him a little bit of liberty, but he always knew he was riding that line, “smoke em while you got em.”

Jensen Ackles has said when he looked at the script he thought, gee, they had a chance of... maybe running a couple of years.

It had its struggles. Its ups and downs. While it almost petered out mid original plan, Kripke got his new lightning in a bottle: Misha Collins. And they’ve spared nothing on set talking about how much of an impact they made. They cleared their five years... and were shocked to order more.

In time, once Kripke had that under his belt, he went on to other plans and other visions -- which I am so goddamn happy for him even if they haven’t had the same longevity and general success of Supernatural.

They never planned for a season 6. Which, honestly, is a good deal of why I feel Gamble era was such a mess. Kinda a raw deal she just sort of cobbled together and ran with in the end. But they got their ducks in a row. And they kept going... and going.

This little engine that could that came out of, essentially, a nobody’s dream and the faith of a few solid industry names willing to give it a chance exploded into an international phenomenon that, by the last handful of years, became one of the top 20 digital shows in the world. It’s defied the writer’s strike, the advertiser crash, the digital boom, it’s just survived.

No, it hasn’t just survived -- it’s thrived.

I have so many emotions about this that I’m having a hard time really speaking it. Because myself, my friends -- past and current and now even on other shows -- like, there’s a tangibility to this mind blowing reality that no, in no way is this my show. But I am so. Damn. Happy. For Kripke, and for everybody involved.

Sure, Supernatural has evolved in a way that it’s vastly different from Kripke era. But there isn’t a single soul that has any reckoning of what we’ve really watched grow that wouldn’t imagine him looking back with true pride at his little baby all grown up... and finally, fifteen years later, as a record breaking timeless phenomenon -- finally retiring.

It’s easy for assholes to take shots about “just the CW”, but it takes a hell of a lot of awareness to really understand what this was.

I don’t just... pick shows to pick shows. I don’t pick them because they’re hot or the It Thing(TM). I might watch a few for a few seasons for that, but if I take it to heart and keep it in interest, it’s because I’m enraptured by the crew. By this fandom that mailed in post cards and set a new precedent.

There’s things about the fandom that drive me nuts in the bad way -- sure. But goddamn this crew has me heart and soul for all of their work. So congratulations to Kripke for his baby being all grown up and making so much history, and thanks to every other showrunner and author and director and editor and wardrobe worker and makeup artist and set designer and composer and coordinator and COFFEE RUNNER that has put their work into it, even if at times some of us have had conflict with what person 1, 2, or 3 decided to do at any time.

J2M’s decision was theirs and theirs alone, and not an easy one for a great number of reasons. Their friends, the crew, the impact it’s had on the BC Film Industry, on the world, on... charitable endeavors and mental health awareness. Kripke surely never imagined any of that when he started but I’m sure he’s goddamn proud and he’s probably crying and full of emotion like most of this fandom right now.

I’ll plug this video one last time. Not for myself or my views or whatever, but to really appreciate how much time and soul is in this show, and what we’ve got. And never take that for granted.

youtube

Never let the Supernatural family die.

Ever.

#supernatural #final season #eric kripke #production #FEELINGS #send help #it's finally sunk in #i knew it was coming #i was prepared #but the magnitude of it #is literally slamming me on a deep and personal and spiritual level

443 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

Heatstroke (Shillam) - Ortega

a/n: it’s ya boi, back from holiday with a very Summery bit of nonsense for u all! love to purecamp for just screaming beta-ing this. hope u all like it and if u do, pls hop into my ask box or pop an ask here to show me some love xo

summary:

“Or…how about we swap shifts? I take yours now, you cover my beach shift later on. Gives you more time to crack on with the nonentities of reality TV.”

Chad looked initially excited then suddenly narrowed her eyes, following Sharon’s quick gaze over to the three girls on the sunbeds, where the pink-haired one in her line of vision was now arguing with the sunbed-reservers. As Sharon snapped her gaze back to Chad, the other girl was now giving her eyes a colossal roll.

“Oh, Sharon, could this be any more of a cliche?”

(4kish oneshot. Sharon’s a lifeguard. Willam’s a dumbass. lesbian au bc it’s me xo)

***

The bright sting of sunlight beamed down onto Sharon’s skin as she frowned, squirted out another huge dollop of factor 50 into the palm of her hand, and rubbed gently at her shoulders. She didn’t think she’d ever get used to the heat over here and she cursed as she watched the other lifeguards wander around the poolside, all gorgeous and tanned and straight out of an ITV2 reality show. Sharon was pale and fair, a combination that didn’t mix well with Ibiza in the height of July. She got blisters on her shoulders the first week she came- she’d never been abroad before and thought that one thick layer of suncream in the morning would be enough to last the whole day. Seven days, various baggy t shirts and three full bottles of aloe vera lotion later, she had learned her lesson.

As she cast her gaze over the resort where a healthy mix of sixth form holidayers, wannabe instagram influencers, and 40 year old men with skin the same tone as a gammon partied or swam or sunbathed away, across the way she caught the eye of a girl on the sunbeds who had already been looking at her. She was lying on her tummy and reading a magazine which was resting on the stone tiles below the sunbed. Her gaze had flicked back down to the glossy pages, pink hair falling over her face as she attempted to disguise the fact she’d been looking at Sharon just moments ago. Or maybe Sharon was going crazy, which was probably the most likely option. It had been a couple of months since her ex had broken up with her (okay, five - she was counting) and since Phi Phi, she hadn’t received the attention of any girls and she was starting to go mildly insane. That was part of the reason why she’d even applied for the job at Ocean Beach in the first place- the other was that she desperately needed some sun, and when she got offered the job there she accepted in a heartbeat. A whole season away from home would be weird, but really what was she leaving behind? Her one bed flat and a bunch of potted plants she could barely keep alive?

Sharon felt something burning on her again, and this time it wasn’t the sun. She slowly, cautiously, turned her head around to the spot she knew the girl was lying down at and, sure enough, she was looking at her again. Only this time she hadn’t turned away and was allowing Sharon to take in her blue eyes, surrounded with last night’s glitter, mascara and eyeliner. On anyone else it would look horrific, but this girl seemed to suit it as if she’d woken up that day and decided to put her makeup on like an Escher painting. She’d evidently put on fresh gloss and her lips were a shining metallic blue, rendering Sharon unable to see what colour they were actually meant to be. She didn’t really mind. The girl’s bikini was like holographic dental floss- the bottoms were practically disappearing between her cheeks and the singular strap of the top had been unclipped and was draped on either side of the girl’s body allowing her to avoid a tan line. Sharon was suddenly glad of the mirrored aviators she was wearing which were allowing her to look at the girl without her knowing- which sounded creepy in Sharon’s head, but she justified it by knowing she hadn’t been the one that started it. Just then, the girl gave her an exaggerated wink, making Sharon thankful for her sunburnt cheeks as she knew she was flushing the same shade as the neon pink bikini that an Only Way Is Essex star was wearing two sun loungers along from her.

“Willam!” there came a loud shout that cut through the noise of two different sets of speakers, as the girl’s head snapped to the side and glared at two other blonde girls (one tall, one smaller) that had appeared beside her. The tall one was speaking. “Girl! We’ve been shouting across to you for like five minutes! What do you want from the bar?"

As the girl dragged her eyes off Sharon she barely had time to overthink about whether she’d seemed reluctant to stop staring or not, as she had to blow her whistle at a group of eight boys on holiday together all seemingly trying to drown each other.

***

Sharon boredly swung her whistle around in her hand, the small metal noise box from hell constantly threatening to fly off its lanyard. She’d been scanning the side of the pool all of yesterday and all morning but she still hadn’t seen a flash of pink hair, and she’d be lying if she said it didn’t disappoint her. She didn’t know why this one girl- Willam, Sharon reminded herself- had grabbed her attention so forcefully with just a wink worthy of a Carry-On film and a holographic bikini. Ocean Beach was frequented by beautiful girls with glossy hair, perfect blinding veneers and tans worthy of Greek goddesses, and for the first week she’d lifeguarded there Sharon had felt like a bitch in heat. But Willam was so different to them. She was almost special because she didn’t conform to the classic Ibiza-Barbie beauty standard with her pink hair and messy makeup. Sharon frowned to herself and shook her head before taking a swig from her water bottle. What the fuck was she doing getting so hung up on a random girl she literally hadn’t spoken to yet and who she only knew the name of by sheer dumb luck?

She was suddenly distracted by someone leaning against the lookout, and was ready to blow her whistle into their face when she realised it was only Chad. She’d completely forgotten that her shift was almost over, and it hit her with a pang of disappointment that she hadn’t seen Willam yet. Chad swept her dark fringe out of her eyes and smiled up at her.

"Guess who slept with Rykard Jenkins last night?” she bragged, her poised posture somehow making the whole interaction seem classy. “I’m not naming names but it was definitely me.”

“Oh my God. Is he a minor royal?” Sharon gasped extravagantly, placing a hand to her chest and laughing as Chad rolled her eyes.

“You know he was on Love Island, Sharon,” she glared at her, unimpressed. Sharon gave a chuckle.

“No, you’re right. I did know that. Does he have a thing for girls whose first and last names usually belong to men? Chad, I don’t know how to tell you this, baby,” Sharon stage-whispered down to her friend. “I think he’s gay.”

Chad managed to hold her unimpressed look for all of a second before spluttering out a laugh. “God, you’re the worst. Remind me why I’m friends with you?”

“Because I’m the only bitch in this place that wouldn’t sell your soul to Satan for a bottle of Moet.”

Chad laughed and made to climb up the ladder. “Let me on my goddamn shift, bitch, before I tip this thing over."

Suddenly, something caught Sharon’s eye. Three girls- two blonde, one pink- strutting up to three sunbeds which already had towels on them, flinging them away and replacing them with their own before kicking their wedges off and lying down. Sharon felt excitement catch in her throat.

"Or…how about we swap shifts? I take yours now, you cover my beach shift later on. Gives you more time to crack on with the nonentities of reality TV.”

“Oh, Sharon, could this be any more of a cliche?”

“Shut up! I don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Sharon frowned, mentally kicking herself that her second statement should probably have come before her first. Chad raised an eyebrow to indicate she’d read Sharon’s mind. “Look, it’s nothing, okay, it’s just…she’s cute, and I want to get to know her."

Chad gave a laugh and climbed down off the first rung. "Well as long as nobody dies because you’re too busy staring at a cute girl. Which one is she, the legs?”

“No. Pink hair,” Sharon risked a look back over to find that chief-sunbed-reserver-bitch was practically at Willam’s throat. Sharon gave a long blast of her whistle which made the sunbed-reserver drop her towel. “Hey! No reserving! You know that shit!"

As the sunbed-reservers slunk off, Sharon didn’t miss the beaming smile of thanks that Willam was sending her way. She gave a small, self-conscious salute and turned back to Chad, who was cringing.

"A salute? Girl. You’re not fucking Little Mix.”

“Piss off and let me make heart eyes in peace.”

So Chad did, and Sharon tried not to focus too much on Willam because as Chad had mentioned, there were many people here that were already more than a few drinks down despite it being 11 in the morning, so Sharon had to watch that they didn’t stray too close to the pool’s edge. As her gaze drifted back to the three sun-loungers, she saw that one of them was empty. Willam wasn’t there any more, but all her stuff was. As Sharon felt her heart sink with confusion, she was distracted by a deafening cry of “CANNONBAAAAALL!” which was immediately followed by a crashing splash in the water, which soaked many unimpressed Instagram influencers who were trying to perfect their poses on unicorn-shaped inflatable rings. Frowning, Sharon blew her whistle again before she realised who had launched themself into the water- a slick of wet, pink hair floated back to the surface, Willam’s grin plastered over her face, clearly happy that she’d caused the maximum amount of destruction possible. Nonetheless, Sharon had blown her whistle and she had to commit to it.

“No bombing!” she yelled across to her, Willam only glaring briefly at her and shooting her a smile.

“Calm down, princess, I ain’t Al-Quaeda!"

Sharon tried to stop the quirk that her lips gave. Princess. She definitely didn’t like that as much as her body was telling her that she did.

The rest of the morning seemed to pass way too quickly. Sharon was trying to do her job to the best of her ability but she kept getting distracted and her gaze kept being pulled over to the set of three sunbeds to update herself on what Willam was doing. Namely chatting to her friends and sunbathing. Sharon felt like an idiot, willing her to come and walk past her lookout so she could just happen to strike up a conversation with her. Really, though, what the fuck would she say? Hey, I’ve been weirdly lowkey (highkey) checking you out for the past three days and I already know your name even though we’ve barely exchanged words. Wanna go out?

It turned out she didn’t have to worry as, from the way Willam began to act, it was almost as if she wanted Sharon’s attention. It began when she teetered back from the bar, mojito in hand. She slipped her heels off and made her way into the pool, where she sat her drink at the side and dipped her body into the water. As much as Sharon was taken in by the sight of the neon green faux-snakeskin swimsuit she was wearing and how well it fitted her (definitely not how well it clung to her body), Sharon had to blow her whistle again. Her heart gave a thump when Willam looked over her shoulder at her, straw between her teeth and her damp hair giving a flick.

"No drinks,” Sharon shouted over, unable to stop herself from giving a small smile as Willam rolled her eyes and pouted.

“Who the hell are you, Casper the Nazi ghost?” she yelled back, turning and gesturing to her smaller blonde friend to collect her glass. The girl leant down to Willam and whispered something quietly, the other girl’s face lighting up as if she’d just discovered Uranium. There was the smallest, tiniest glance to Sharon, so small that Sharon wasn’t sure if it had even been directed at her or not.

She soon had her answer.

Around twenty minutes later, and mid-daydream, Sharon was distracted by Willam again. She had floated into her line of vision on a donut-patterned rubber ring, and Sharon was about to admire how gorgeous and tanned she looked when she spotted what Willam had in her hand. Willam seemed to sense Sharon’s eyes on her and she smiled, lifted an enormous, lettuce-and-ketchup filled burger to her mouth and took a huge bite.

The whistle was at Sharon’s lips in around a second.

“Are you serious?!” she found herself yelling over, Willam simply smiling and batting her eyes at her.

“You want some? It’s really good,” she said placidly, Sharon rolling her eyes at her so hard they threatened to roll out their sockets.

“Get out the damn pool,” she frowned, narrowing her eyes at Willam before realising she wouldn’t be able to see them through her sunglasses. Nevertheless, Willam shrugged and pushed herself towards the steps where she evacuated her rubber ring without spilling a single bit of the burger.

Five minutes later, Sharon’s gaze was pulled from a group of lads on their stag do who looked increasingly close to falling into the water by a huge shout.

“HEY ALASKA, WATCH HOW FAST I CAN RUN!"

Before Sharon knew what was happening, there was a blur of pink hair and neon green, as Willam made a pretty successful attempt to imitate Usain Bolt’s first time in six-inch heels. Sharon scrambled for her whistle as Willam came dangerously close to knocking someone who she might have recognised from Ex on the Beach into the pool.

Slightly less attracted to her and now far more annoyed by her, Sharon beckoned the girl over. Willam, for her part, looked more proud than ashamed and she made her way around the cavernous pool over to where Sharon sat perched on the lookout. As soon as Willam reached her and beamed up at her with her perfect teeth however, Sharon’s annoyance faltered. What the fuck was she going to say to her?

"Hey, lifeguard,” Willam quipped flirtatiously, Sharon trying to ignore the tone she’d taken with her and going straight to bollocking mode.

“Right, what the fuck is your problem? You’ve been fighting with other guests, chucking yourself into the pool like a sea lion, taken your drink into the pool, taken a fucking burger into the pool, and now you want to act like Mo fucking Farah? You almost knocked Jess Impiazzi into the water, are you trying to end up in the papers?”

Willam fiddled with the buckle on her swimsuit’s belt, looking faux-coyly up at Sharon from under her lashes. “Just page 3 of ‘em.”

Sharon nearly choked. “Well then stop acting like a tit. You’re at Ocean Beach, not the fucking local lido.”

“Well you appear to be a Drumsticks Squashie masquerading as a human being and no-one’s pulled you up on that,” Willam bit back with a cheeky smile. She had a dimple near her chin when she smiled. Sharon tried to ignore that and her hurt pride as she self-consciously touched the sleeves of her regulation polo shirt.

“One more strike and you’re out,” Sharon attempted a withering putdown but her voice seemed to betray the regret she felt in her voice. She didn’t want to ban Willam- she really, desperately didn’t- but rules were rules, and her manager would come down even harder on her if she continued to let this clownery take place a moment longer. Willam simply gave her a single nod and a flirtatious smile.

“Okay, lifeguard,” she deadpanned, before flicking her hair (which had now gone wavy) over her shoulder and walking off. Sharon sighed. She wished Willam didn’t rile her as much as she did. She wished she was less annoying. She wished her legs didn’t look so good in her wedges as she walked away- fuck, no.

Sharon tried to completely clear Willam from her mind. She only had around ten minutes until her shift was up, she could hold on til then. That was what she thought until she scanned her eyes over the pool and saw a mess of pink hair face-down in the water, her body starfished and floating on top. Willam’s two blonde friends seemed to have noticed Sharon’s initial panicked reaction and had begun shouting.

“Oh my God, Courtney, Willam’s drowning!”

“Jesus fucking Christ, Alaska, she is! If only there was a…blonde, skinny…kinda pale…lifeguard to come and save her!” the smaller blonde shouted. Sharon briefly wondered how many calories you could burn via eye-rolling. She’d surely lost a pound today through that alone.

Sharon blew her whistle, walked down from the lookout post and lowered herself into the pool where she swam over to Willam, levered her skinny arms around her neck and swam with her over to the poolside. Positioning her on the steps so she was face-up, Willam gave a dramatic gasp for air and fixed her gaze on Sharon.

“Oh my God! That was so fucking scary…I just passed out, I don’t know what happened…”

Sharon tried to ignore the fact that Willam had consciously kept her arms wrapped around her neck. “Very good, Meryl Streep. Get your shit. You’re barred.”

“What?!” Willam cried, her expression contorting into one of outrage and regret stabbing at Sharon’s heart.

“I told you, didn’t I? One more strike. Piss off,” she scolded in as strict a voice she could muster. Willam scrambled on the ground, moved to snatch her towel up from her lounger, and then squared up to her. She was standing close. Too close, because Sharon’s head was being filled with all sorts of scenarios and fuck, things would be made so much easier if the girl took just one step back.

(Of course, Sharon herself could have taken a step back. But where would the fun have been in that?)

Willam’s eyes narrowed, but there was still a playful spark in them that set Sharon’s nerves alight. “You’re lucky you’re cute…” she began, then flicked her eyes down to the nametag on her shirt. “…Sharon.”

With that, Willam flounced off with her friends quickly following her, and the death stares they were giving Sharon were offset by the smell of Willam’s perfume which managed to overpower the chlorine coming from the ends of her hair.

***

No matter how bored she was of drunken holidaymakers, overhearing the sunburnt, bigoted expats talking about Brexit, or the mosquitos, Sharon would never get bored of the sunsets here. Mostly they were the standard beautiful orange with a hint of yellow or red or both, but sometimes whoever controlled the skies threw something truly special up there. Tonight the sky was almost entirely pink, different hues of dark red-pink high in the sky fading into cherry blossom, then baby pink and then a bright white strip where the sky met the sea. The calm surface of the water meant that the whole beautiful scene was reflected against the surface, and a mirror image of the sky shone back at Sharon as she sat against a cushioned sun lounger that was usually reserved for paying guests. She sat and drank it all in whilst thinking about home, and Phi Phi, and what she could have done differently. She didn’t miss her- she just missed having someone to love. Sharon sometimes felt she had too much love and it always threatened to pour out of her, to burst at her seams.

“You just give me the ick, Sharon, you’re too much for me!”

The words still stung, no matter how much Sharon was over it.

Suddenly there was a small thump beside her on the sun lounger and Sharon had to stop her heart rising like one of the parasailers they took out to sea during the day. As she turned, it was as if someone was smiling down on her because there sat Willam, burying her own feet in the sand and swaying a little where she sat. It had been a day or two since Sharon had seen her last and in that time she’d managed to entirely fill her head, regret at having barred the girl completely consuming her. Sharon still hadn’t stopped looking at her, deigning her much more beautiful than the sunset in front of her. She had chunks of glitter in her hair as well as covering her arms, collarbones and chest.

“Hey,” she began, wondering if Willam really had noticed her as she seemed completely intent on entombing her ankles. Willam’s head suddenly gave a lurch to the side and she smiled up at her goofily, making Sharon’s stomach give a dip.

“Oh hey. It’s the strawberry mini milk,” she slightly slurred out, making Sharon laugh despite the jibe.

“Ouch.”

“That’s a joke, by the way. You’re not that sunburned,” Willam followed it up, her eyes seeming to plead with Sharon to never stop looking into them. “You’re more like a…vanilla mini milk.”

“What is this obsession with mini milks?” Sharon chuckled, Willam giving an elongated shrug.

“They’re rich in calcium.”

Sharon wondered if this girl was ever going to stop making her laugh. As she quieted down, she noticed Willam had gone quiet too and she was back burying her feet. “You’ll get sand under your nails.”

“Meh.”

“How was the glitter party, then?”

“Tried to chat someone up from the last series of Love Island.”

“Oh. Very nice,” Sharon raised her eyebrows, wondering why everyone seemed to be obsessed with these manufactured, airbrushed ideas of what an attractive human should look like. To her, none of them had a patch on Willam.

“No, bitch, it wasn’t nice! Because I’m still alone, aren’t I, instead of getting pounded into the mattress,” she mumbled sadly, Sharon’s heart going out to her for some reason. With a stab to her heart, she realised she hadn’t counted on Willam not liking girls.

“Well, you’re not technically alone. Because I’m with you,” Sharon kept her flirting subtle, part of her not wanting to be deterred. She was rewarded by Willam smiling at her shyly. It seemed out of character.

“Well, Sharon the lifeguard. Since I’m not-alone-with-you. Tell me things,” Willam leant forward onto her elbows and her head came just that little bit close to resting on Sharon’s lap. Her breath hitched in her throat.

“JLS have had the most number ones out of any other UK X Factor winner.”

“What?”

“You told me to tell you things. That’s a thing,” Sharon shrugged lightly, the other girl bursting into a laugh that made her sound like a bike horn.

“No, you idiot! I meant about you! I want the first draft of the autobiography,” she giggled, and Sharon’s heart sprang to life.

“Well. There’s not much to tell really. Was a lifeguard at home before I came out here, just working at the local pool. Can’t really tell what’s easier to be honest. Suppose dealing with drunk adults is a little bit like dealing with children,” she reeled off, suddenly self-conscious about how boring her life sounded. Willam didn’t seem deterred.

“How old are you?"

Sharon was going to make a quip about how it was rude to ask a lady’s age, but thought she might have been taking it too far there. "Twenty-seven. Probably too old to be working at Ocean Beach, but-”

“Oh my God, me too!” Willam cried, drunk and happy. As she rolled onto her back she said something that sounded a bit like “No age gap, then.” but Sharon was sure her mind must have been playing tricks on her.

“What’s your story?” Sharon asked, fighting the urge to rest her arm against Willam’s waist.

“ ’M a receptionist for some company in the Shard. AK…C…VIP or something like that,” she waved a hand dismissively, and Sharon laughed.

“What do they do?”

“It’s a payments ecosystem,” Willam said dryly, Sharon holding in her laugh for about a second before it came bursting out of her.

“You definitely made that up.”

“Bitch, they definitely made it up! Nobody knows what the hell it means,” Willam cried out defensively, before shifting uncomfortably. “No one knows what it means, but it’s provocative. This isn’t comfy. Hang on.”

Before Sharon knew it, Willam’s head was in her lap and her heart was fluttering dangerously quickly.

“So how come you’re out here?” Sharon asked, taking her mind off her impending heart attack. She felt Willam shrug.

“Same reason everyone’s out here. Holiday. Escaping my boring fuck of a life.”

Sharon gave a laugh. “I think most people are out here to get famous.”

“Well in that case, I ain’t most people.”

There was a pause before Willam spoke again, in which Sharon, against her better judgement, brought her hand up to tangle in Willam’s hair. She could have imagined it, but she thought she heard Willam give a little purr of happiness. Willam broke the silence all too quickly.

“The sky looks like the lesbian flag.”

Sharon looked up at the rapidly receding sun and took it all in. “I guess it does.”

“Representation,” Willam punched her fist in the air weakly. Sharon’s heart gave a jolt as if she’d just been pushed down a water slide.

“As in?” Sharon heard herself asking, willing her voice not to sound too hopeful. She fully expected an answer that was akin to Oh I love the lesbians! Pink is pretty!

“As in, I’m getting the representation I deserve?” Willam gestured as if it was obvious. Sharon didn’t dare believe what she was implying.

“Oh, you’re a lesbian?” she asked casually. Except it didn’t come out as casual as she’d hoped.

Willam turned over so her head was peering up at Sharon, unimpressed. “Oh don’t tell me you’re some homophobic bitch, because I had you pegged as a butch top and I’ve never been wrong before in my life.”

Sharon’s mind immediately burst into the Hallelujah chorus.

“No! No, no, no. I mean I’m not homophobic. And I’m also gay,” she shrugged, trying to ignore the angels with trumpets that were blasting in her ears. She gave a snort as she realised what Willam had said. “Butch?”

“Oh yeah, girl. Butch as fuck. Embrace it.”

There was a quiet pause in which Sharon didn’t stop playing with Willam’s hair and Willam began drawing against Sharon’s skin with her fingers. Willam was the one to break it.

“What 'bout you, bitch? How come you’re out here? You gonna be on Baywatch?” Willam spoke too-loudly, interrupting the moment.

Sharon gave a small sigh. “I broke up with my girlfriend. Well, no, she broke up with me. Moved out of her flat. Got one of my own. The job came up and I had nothing to lose so I just went for it.”

“Damn. She’s a fuckin’ idiot. What was her name?"

"Phi Phi,” Sharon said, the words sounding all wrong in her mouth. She was glad when they were out of there.

“She sounds like a bitch,” Willam shifted so that she was comfortable and her fingers could continue to make patterns against Sharon’s legs. Sharon should have moved further away. She didn’t.

Sharon twirled a lock of pink around her fingers, eager to change the subject. “So wait, who was the Love Islander that-”

“Megan from season four. She’s by far the hottest girl to ever grace the show and she’s bi so I thought I was in with a shot,” Willam pouted up at Sharon. “Turns out she likes brunettes. You look a lot like her actually.”

Sharon gave a laugh that hoped disguised the fact that her pulse was racing. She barely knew the girl, but simultaneously she felt as if they were old acquaintances. They had some sort of inexplicable connection, which sounded crazy but Sharon felt it was true. “Comparing me to the most attractive girl ever on Love Island. High praise.”

“No, you’re the most attractive girl to exist ever,” Willam slurred out, Sharon’s pulse now surely breaking every speed limit to exist.

“You barely know me, Willam,” she laughed softly, trying not to let the regret tinge her voice too much. Willam narrowed her eyes at her as she stared up.

“How d'you know my name, bitch?”

Sharon froze. She tried to turn it on Willam. “Well how do you know mine?”

“It was on your fuckin’ nametag,” Willam laughed, curiosity still in her eyes. Sharon covered her face as she realised she would have to reveal what a massive fucking stalker she was.

“I heard one of your friends shouting on you the other day. Committed it to memory. That makes me sound weird, and it is fucking weird, but I just-"

Sharon was cut off as Willam pushed herself off Sharon’s lap and moved to sit close beside her. Their bodies were touching and some of the glitter from Willam’s leg transferred onto Sharon’s, a little part of Willam that was stuck to her. Willam tucked her hair behind her ears and looked towards the sand in an uncharacteristically demure gesture.

"You know I’m coming on to you, right? I don’t mind spelling it out if you can’t tell,” she said, sounding more sober now than she had throughout the entire conversation. Sharon wasn’t sure what to do next. She didn’t really think she would get this far, happy with admiring Willam from a distance. Now this seemed all so real and possible and not just images Sharon had conjured up in her head before she went to sleep.

“You’re drunk as fuck.”

“So were my parents when they conceived me and bitch, here I am,” Willam shrugged, nudging her shoulder against Sharon’s own. Sharon let out a laugh.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to convey.”

“I’m saying fuck my blood alcohol ratio and kiss me, goddamnit,” Willam muttered.

Without too much more encouragement, Sharon leaned in and did exactly as she was told. Willam’s lips were soft against hers and the way she took control made Sharon think perhaps she wasn’t as drunk as she was painting herself out to be. The kiss was slow and lazy, as if they had all the time in the world, and for a moment Sharon was convinced time really had frozen around them as they could have been kissing for seconds, minutes or hours. All she knew was that she never wanted to stop.

Willam rested a hand on Sharon’s thigh as she pulled away, smiling gently. Sharon hadn’t seen Willam look shy often. This was definitely a first.

“How much have you actually had to drink?” Sharon asked, remembering her earlier thought.

Willam let out a splutter, suddenly blushing. “One malibu and coke and four glasses of water.”

“Bitch!” Sharon exclaimed, Willam descending into chaos-inducing laughter beside her.

“I was afraid you wouldn’t be into me! Easier to pass off a failed seduction attempt when you’re drunk. I’m a good actress, what can I say,” Willam laughed, punctuating her final sentence with a shrug.

Sharon was suddenly filled with a swell of affection. She put an arm around Willam as the other girl rested her head on her shoulder.

“When do you fly home?"

"Got another week here,” Willam muttered, sounding suddenly tired.

“I want to get to know you,” Sharon said quietly, as if she was afraid that words would ruin everything. The sun was almost completely set now, the pink sky being overcome with black.

“I want you to rail me on my balcony,” Willam shrugged, and Sharon could tell she was only half-joking.

“There’s time for both those things,” Sharon kissed Willam on the top of her head, afraid to move her.

“Mm,” Willam nodded, her voice coated in sleep. Sharon didn’t know what time it was. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to. She enjoyed existing in this little time-exempt bubble with Willam, where flights home didn’t exist and real life was a distant memory.

“We should get you back to your room, baby.”

“Mmh, no. Wanna stay out here with you.”

So they both stayed on the sun lounger, Willam soon falling asleep and Sharon staying alertly awake until the black sky and platinum stars turned into blue and white with a yellow orb, not wanting to waste a single second in the company of the pink-haired girl asleep with her head on her lap and hoping that the upcoming week would drag slower than any she’d ever known.

#rpdr fanfiction #shillam #sharon needles #willam belli #lesbian au #oneshot #ortega #heatstroke

45 notes · View notes

papistark · 5 years

Text

Okay. I’ve allowed a night to let everything sink in. I’m ready to talk about Endgame now.

*cinemasins voice* spoilers!! (duh..)

so the wounds are still fresh. v v v v v v v v v fresh. but my thoughts during the entire movie were just OMG IM TRYING TO REMEMBER EVERY SINGLE THING THAT IS HAPPENING SO I CAN REMEMBER IT AS LONG AS POSSIBLE BEFORE i inevitably go see this movie again

This is what the movie reduce me to like 99% of the time btw

now, I’m gonna try and break this up to be as organized as possible into 4 main sections which will be general thoughts, the highs, the lows, and closing thoughts. that may sound organized but I promise it won’t be and as always I’ll have to use bullet holes to even stay relatively "organized"

I'm sure I'm leaving stuff out that I either loved or would wanna discuss but tbh the ENTIRE FILM i was just like GOD I WANNA REMEMBER THIS FOREVER!! Every scene that happened i was like god there's still 3 hours of stuff that's going to happen but I want to remember it all!!!

Overall

this movie was good. and i’m mad it was so good and i found it so enjoyable for how dirty they did me. The pacing was pretty well done for a first viewing, but I'm sure after a couple rewatches I'll get caught up on the occasional misstep in the pacing and general direction the story took, but I really liked it!!

I thought the Thor stuff was kinda distasteful and honestly a joke that ran too long. Like ha ha okay we get it but also? He went through so much fucking trauma can we just lay off him? Damn? I don't wanna linger too much on it bc honestly the more I think about it the more I get upset the russos did him dirty

all the callbacks??? made me so emotional????? eleven years and almost two dozen films guys holy fucking shit it felt like such a good homage to bring stuff back

Yo literally when they went up to busted ass thanos i leaned over to my bf and whispered "are they just gonna kill thanos in the first ten minutes is that allowed" and uh YEP! WOW

Also the opening scene being Clint's family getting dusted... gasps in my theater y'all they went in hard on us

TIME HEIST!!!!!! FUCK marvel knows how to take you on a fun journey!! The concept was so fun!!

I also appreciate them mixing up the plot a bunch to keep us guessing!! Like fuck, when Thanos was finding out through Nebula... future nebula talking to past gamora i was SO SOFT... sisters...

Hulk was... weird. It felt a weird kind of fanservicey for a little bit, and honestly a little out of place? But. Eh. Wasn't the worst part. Certain parts of it were fun! I think I got used to it haha

Everyone looked. So good. After the time jump. Damn. Thank you make up department for everyone's new looks. I live for silver fox tony always.

I loved seeing Loki again i know it was so little content BUT I DONT CARE I'LL ALWAYS LOVE MY FUCKING PRINCE

We didn't get as much Nebula and Tony content as I was hoping but god it was so cute and tender in the beginning. Imagine all that bonding. Nebula finding tony on the floor, knowing he's on the brink of death, and propping him up in the seat :'(((( tony helping fix nebula :(((( the father daughter relationship we deserved and didn't get to see come to fruition.

AMERICA'S ASS. THANK YOU SCOTT LANG.

All the New York flash back was so fucking fun. The elevator scene. Brilliant. I really thought they were gonna recreate but it was such a fun tease. Also cap making fun of his past self for saying "i could do this all day" I SCREAM why do the Russo's get steve so well

Carol taking a direct punch in the face from Thanos without even flinching? We stan a goddess

ALSO SHORT HAIRED CAROL YESSSS I LIVED!!!!! YES!!!! (But also that movie could've used like way more Carol thats just mY OPINION)

Also AGAIN, I DON'T CARE THAT IT WAS FAN SERVICE, STEVE WEILDING MJOLNIR WAS E V E R Y T H I N G. They have TEASED US since that one middle avengers movie we don't talk about that he was worthy and!!! Our!! Son!! Is!! Fucking!!! Worthy. And the scene of thor making him swap w/ him "you get the little one" i screamed bitch

also I was living for how much Steve swore in this film lol literally fuck joss Whedon's characterization we don't know her!

Valkyrie on a Pegasus thank you THANK YOU i was living

That entire final action scene..... holy fucking shit y'all. It was just crazy enough without being too crazy. I loved the callback to the original long continuous shot

THE HEAVENS OPENED UP AND SANG WITH THAT A-FORCE SCENE. YES. ALL THE MARVEL LADIES LINING UP. THEY ARE HERE AND THEY ARE THE STRONGEST OF US ALL. A-FORCE. FUCKING A-FORCE. Thank you Russo's for my LIFE

Carol's little "hi peter parker :)" god i love them. I love peter. My fucking spider son. I missed him so much. I missed Tom Holland's sweet peach little face AH I CRIED WHEN HE SHOWED BACK UP

Also last kind of ~general~ thought i know i don't get time travel at all and it is an instant way to confuse me in any franchise but wouldn't steve doing what he did fuck literally everything up idk we'll get to steve in a bit

Highs

morgan

fucking

stark

I CAN’T BELIEVE I GOT FED WITH SUCH GOOD TONY CONTENT THIS FILM ONLY FOR THEM TO STOMP ON MY HEART LMAOOO

DAD TONY BEING AS LOVING AND DOTING AND SWEET AND TENDER W/ HIS DAUGHTER AS WE ALL HAVE HEADCANONED HIM TO BE FOR YEARS!!!

TONY GETTING HIS JUSTIFICATION IN BEING MAD not just mad but PISSED at Cap for how everything fell out. catharsis. felt good scoob.

speaking of good tony content of course i need to just take a moment to YELL ABOUT STONY thank you russos for the fan service thank you for having tony ogle and comment on steve rogers’ ass it almost makes up for all the pain and suffering

btw do y’all think the H. for Morgan’s middle name stands for Harley because I LIKE TO THINK SO

also am i lowkey annoyed that like half of viewers won’t recognize an adult ty simpkin at tony’s funeral at the end even tho i know i shouldn't be because ot everyone is a die hard BUT half the articles im looking up for reviews and shit of that scene literally all the results are “SO WHO IS THAT KID AT THE END OF ENDGAME” YOU FUCKING FOOLS IT’S TONY’S FIRST BORN SON HARLEY KEENER FROM IRON MAN 3. FUCKS. im getting off topic anyway i was just happy they brought him back because I am an iron man 3 enthusiast and his relationship with tony was SO important and this confirms that at the very least tony kept in contact with him over all these years!!! and he wasn’t just some insignificant blip

Not to be stony on main but steve being the first person to hold Tony again once he was back on earth :)))) wrow.

Also the first thing tony telling him being "I lost the kid" WOW BREAK MY HEART MORE HUH!! WHY NOT!!

The first thing Peter doing when he saw Tony again :'') just rambling about everything that happened and tony just so happy to see him alive and hugging him so tight I'M NOT FINE!! NOTHING WILL EVER BE FINE AGAIN!!!

I appreciated the closure with Howard like?? A lot?? I'm the last person to be a Howard stark apologist, but I think his character and his relationship w/ Tony and how Tony viewed him as a father and as a man was so well crafted throughout the series??? Idk I liked that scene it was good to my baby.

And now a pOSSIBLY CONTROVERSIAL~~ opinion but..... I loved Steve's ending. I really did. I thought he got a beautiful and fitting ending and I was so happy. It meant so much especially to hear his reasonging being that in a way, he did it for Tony. He was inspired by what Tony told him. He saw Tony get his happy ending and for so many films now Steve has been searching for that and he missed an entire life. Tony helped him realize that. It just made me!! So emo!! Like Bucky's face when he knew Steve wasn't gonna be coming back. Steve's last convo w/ Sam. It was just amazing. I can't believe I'm seeing hot takes from people calling Steve selfish or blaming the fact that the Russos have a boner for Steggy or whatever. Who cares!!! Steve got his happy ending and it was well deserved and a wonderful arc!! Lay off him bc you ship him w/ Bucky or tony more damn!!!! (Idk about the timeline y'all dont come for me i really have no idea i think the Russos just said fuck it for that one even when talking about not fucking up the timeline)

Lows

Natasha deserved better. She did. I understand why they took her character arc the way that they did, and honestly, this is the first time I've felt we've seen Natasha have even a modicum of actual character traits since like, Iron man 2 and Avengers 1. She found purpose in keeping the family together and trying to help the people left living, while never stopping or losing contact with anyone else in their endeavors to fix what Thanos broke. As tired as I am of seeing a female character die for ~man pain~ this felt like so much more than that. In the end Nat wanted to sacrifice herself for the greater good, and that's what she did. I'm still fucking upset though, even though they've butchered her character across almost all the films she's been in

Thor being turned into an entire fucking joke. That's it. I got nothin left for the writers at this point.

So..... let's talk about Tony's death, shall we

"You can rest now" broke me. It truly did. I've never loved any fictional character across any medium as much as I have loved Tony Stark. But Pepper's line at the beginning "you'll sleep, but will you rest?" Is so fucking telling. I think I immediately knew for sure in that moment. Because she's right. And that's the worst part.

Peter :)))) finally :)))) calling :))))) tony :)))) by :)) his :)))) first :)) name :))) as he was dying :)))) asking him not to go the same way he told tony he didn't want to go when he was getting dusted GOD. AND WE THOUGHT THAT SCENE IN INFINITY WAR WAS ROUGH. HAD N O T H I N G ON THIS.

No offense but where was Rhodey when Tony was dying lmao ok

That funeral scene.... seeing everyone there drawn together..... god. It was beautiful. It really was.

Of course I'm not happy. I'm extremely fucking upset. I knew tony wielding the gauntlet would be coming, but I thought they would find a way for him to make it out alive. As soon as they were showing that even the hulk couldn't handle it with the gamma radiation, I knew the nail was going to be in the coffin.

All that aside... what I can say, is that if they HAD to kill him off, I think it was a proper send off. We saw so many arcs of Tony's come to a close, and I knew it was just a matter of time. Also that being said, I really don't believe in death being necessary to end a character's arc. Yeah yeah blah blah we get the sad and tragic but TRUE message that at the end of the day death is inevitable and that tony had to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He and Strange both knew it, and as soon as Strange held up that finger I knew that was it for him.

It wouldn't be so hard if they hadn't given us everything they did with tony after the 5 year jump. He healed. He was HAPPY. But pepper was right, and as long as Tony was alive... he would never truly /rest/. And that's the only way I'm able to make peace with this death. Tony has always been a character who was just going going going, never going to stop even if it killed him, all to protect the ones he loved, and protect the whole world and make it a better place. He had a beautiful story that was told so well over these past eleven years, with admitted shortcomings here and there. He had the most cohesive trilogy films, the best character development and arcs, and an incredible portrayal. I'm grateful for it, but that doesn't make it any easier that they decided to go and show us that Tony was able to FINALLY settle down with Pepper and see him find the best version of himself as a husband to her and a father to his little baby girl. A baby girl that now has to grow up without her dad, and pepper has to go on without her husband, the love of her life. It's fucking tragic and honestly, we didn't need that imho lmao

The hardest parts is that like.... idk. I feel like the only reason they killed him is for shock factor, but somehow without the shock? A lot of us felt or were worried that this was coming. I think the russos and co. We're just totally set on the idea that like... tony HAD to die and that was the only way for this arc to come to a close not just WITHIN the universe, but meta, outside of the MCU as well. They did the same thing with Hugh jackman as Logan and that shit HURTED me y'all. Eleven years we had RDJ give us this amazing character and he is the SOLE reason the MCU is where it is today. So you know what, the Russo's and everyone can circle jerk about how much ~poetic justice~ there is in this ending for Tony, but at the end of the day... it just ain't it fam.

Realistically I know after wielding the infinity stones there is no way Tony, a human, could've survived, even with his armor on. I knew that. And as biased as I am towards seeing Tony living, if he had wielded the stones and NOT died? It would've felt cheap. So again, if they had to end his life, I appreciate the way they did it and thought it was the best send off they could've given him. I also would've appreciated some kind of alternate option where oh i dont know carol or someone strong enough could've handled the snap and tony could live the rest of his days with his wife and daughter and found family but..... ig that's just me huh.

:(((( Happy asking Morgan what she wanted and her saying "cheeseburgers" SHE'S JUST LIKE HER DADDY I AM SO!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And last thought is that I fucking cried AGAIN because the biggest applause moment was during the credits when RDJ's name appeared. My theater gave a standing damn ovation. Also the very last sound after it faded to black... Tony hammering away, building the very first Iron Man suit.... that shit hurted.

If any of y'all read this and wanna yell about stuff w/ me I WELCOME YOU INTO MY DMS LMAO PLS MESSAGE ME I NEED MORE PEOPLE TO CRY WITH!!!

#avengers spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame #endgame #have my classic word vomit long ass post after a marvel movie mess of a review lmaoo #long post

16 notes · View notes