#the lack of self reflection this man does is outstanding

[usernoneexistent]

𝓒𝓸𝓵𝓲𝓷 𝓡𝓸𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓽 𝓢𝓬𝓸𝓽𝓽 𝓜𝓸𝓼𝓼

Many claim that the Moss family is cursed with tradegies but whether it's a curse or simple bad luck is up for debate. Colin Moss is also one of those tradegies. A shy and unassuming man and like the rest of his family was sorted into Hufflepuff. While many questioned his blood status due to his lack of a father present in his life, he knows the truth which is it's nobody's business. His main goal in life is not to be seen and blend in the background though his overwhelming crush for Euphemia Macnair is hard to miss. Though the only time he is not afraid is by advocating for equal rights for all magical beings.

𝒫𝓇ℴ𝒻𝒾𝓁ℯ

Nicknames: Collie by his mum.

Born: 25th October 1880.

Hometown: Tenstmuir Forest, Fife, Scotland.

Nationality/Ethnicity: Scottish - part American.

Language(s) spoken: English (British)

Accent: Scottish, Edinburgh

Blood status: Pureblood.

Gender identity: Wizard (he/him).

Sexuality: Heterosexual.

Face claim: Kerr Logan.

𝒫ℯ𝓇𝓈ℴ𝓃𝒶𝓁

Myers-Briggs type: INFP (The mediator).

Alignment: lawful good.

Strengths: empathetic, generous, open-minded, passionate, idealistic.

Weaknesses: sensitive, painfully shy, people pleaser, self-critical.

Interets/hobbies: baking, gardening, activist activities, photography, bar tending.

Favourite colour: daffodil yellow.

Favourite food: porridge.

Favourite drink: scotch from Fraser distillery.

𝒜𝓅𝓅ℯ𝒶𝓇𝒶𝓃𝒸ℯ

Height: 1.85m/6'1ft as an adult.

Weight: 75kg/166lbs

Hair: blue hair keep short but messy (just pretend it's blue from the picture).

Eyes: hazel.

Skin: pale, burns so easily to the point of blisters.

Defects: a burn scar from an accident when he was child on his left thigh.

Style: his style consist of dark greens, blues and browns of casual shirts and boots. Colin dresses like a farmer and does love a good paper boy hat.

𝒲𝒾𝓏𝒶𝓇𝒹𝓇𝓎

1st wand: pear and unicorn hairstring, 14 inches, swishy (originally his grandfather's wand but broken by some bullies)

2nd wand: hazel and unicorn hairstring, 10'5 inches, surprisingly flexiable.

(A sensitive wand, hazel often reflects its owner’s emotional state, and works best for a master who understands and can manage their own feelings. Others should be very careful handling a hazel wand if its owner has recently lost their temper, or suffered a serious disappointment, because the wand will absorb such energy and discharge it unpredictably. The positive aspect of a hazel wand more than makes up for such minor discomforts, however, for it is capable of outstanding magic in the hands of the skillful, and is so devoted to its owner that it often ‘wilts’ (which is to say, it expels all its magic and refuses to perform, often necessitating the extraction of the core and its insertion into another casing, if the wand is still required) at the end of its master’s life (if the core is unicorn hair, however, there is no hope; the wand will almost certainly have ‘died’). Hazel wands also have the unique ability to detect water underground, and will emit silvery, tear-shaped puffs of smoke if passing over concealed springs and wells.)

Animagus form: none.

Patronus: lamb.

Patronus memory: falling in love with Euphemia.

Boggart: shifts to people important in his life laughing at him - humiliation.

Riddikulus: person turns into a plant.

Amortentia (what does he smell?): violet, vanilla, and victoria sponge cake.

Amortentia (what does he smell like?): wet grass, whiskey, and earth.

Magical abilities: legilimens.

𝒜𝓉 ℋℴ𝓰𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓈

Hogwarts house: Hufflepuff.

Best subjects: care of magical creatures, herbology, and history of magic.

Worst subjects: potions, flying, and transfiguration.

Third-year options: care of magical creatures, divinations, and muggle studies.

N.E.W.Ts: left half way through sixth year to take over the pub due to his grandfather's failing health.

Quidditch: doesn't part take.

Extracurricular: gardening club.

𝒜𝒻𝓉ℯ𝓇 ℋℴ𝓰𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓉𝓈

January 1898 - September 1948: bartender at the Naughty Cliffs till his demise, part time activist for equal rights for all magical beings.

ℛℯ𝓁𝒶𝓉𝒾ℴ𝓃𝓈𝒽𝒾𝓅𝓈

(From top: Rabbie, Dottie, Glenn and Winona)

Family:

Theodora 'Dottie' Moss (mother) - Dottie was the youngest and only surving child of nine to make it into adulthood. A witch who fell in love with a married wizard whom had a child together. Colin loves his mother dearly and fiercely as raised him as a single mum. She did tell Colin the identity of his father but made him swear to never tell anyone.

Robert Moss (grandfather) - The co-founder of the Naughty Cliffs and helped raise Colin. He took Colin a lot to the pub where Colin encountered a variety of magical beings from house elves, vampires to werewolves and goblins too.

Scott Rosewood (father) - They acknowledge each other's existence however they have nothing to do with each other.

Winona Rosewood (half-sister) - Winona sought Colin to tell him that they were related which Colin knew all this time. He was happy that he had a sister to rely on and they became fast friends.

Glenn Rosewood (half-brother) - Colin was scared of Glenn as he was known to be a tough prefect. They hardly interacted with each other until the trial of Euphemia in 1948.

John & Aileen Moss (children)

Friends:

Albert Burke @madelineorionswan - Bertie is Colin's best friend and sworn brother. They both understand what it's like to be painfully shy and have a complicated family history.

Lysander Mercury @slytherindisaster - Colin is a little put off by his antics and cannot escape as they're both in the same dorm. But he can be assured that his secret is safe with Lysander, but only because of Winona.

Jim Hexley @the-al-chemist - Dorm mates and later friends but it's incredibly painful for others to watch them be the most awkward people alive but they do get over it...eventually...

He's open to making more friends but mind you, he's quite shy and might need to warm up to your oc first.

Love interests:

Euphemia Macnair - They bumped into each a lot and were in the same herbology class. Colin developed a crush on Euphemia but could never muster up the courage to ask her out until fourth year to the celestial ball. From there they dated and after Hogwarts they got married.

Pets: Ollie, an ancient owl owned by the family. Nobody knows how she's alive despite being struck by lightning twice.

Rivals:

None cause this boy is a sweetheart and would never want to make enemies.

#colin moss #profile #hphl oc #hogwarts legacy

[harbingerofsoup]

my dad: you, someone who forgets to say good morning, and has a fundamental lack of understanding of polite speech, forgot to wish you mom a happy mother’s day. you’re an awful person despite complimenting her today, and being nice and respectful to her regardless of the date.

me: *has repeatedly had to comfort and defend my grandmother, his own mom, after he yells, belittles, and insults her* holy shit how does he not know???

#the lack of self reflection this man does is outstanding #i had to stop myself from laughing when he was scolding me #like the guy who verbally abuses his mother is calling me an awful person #sure bro #im actually nice to my mom so maybe sit down and shut up

[archived-kin]

you braid your favourite fire boy’s hair (and get indirectly confessed to, maybe)

note from kin: some of you may say that diluc is too calm and stoic to be an arsonist but i refuse to believe the man hasn't set a tiny bit of fire to kaeya’s house at some point or another

fandom: genshin impact

character(s): gn!reader, diluc, aether (mentioned), venti (mentioned)

pairing(s): diluc/reader

warning(s): none! (except, like, hair brushing and stuff? i don’t if that counts but i also don’t know what sort of trauma people have so,,, here’s the warning just in case)

genre: fluff

“How do you even manage your hair?”

Diluc shoots you a look over the bar as you lean forward on the counter. “What are you talking about?”

It’s another one of those nights where Mondstadt and the area around it is pretty quiet. Normally you’d be out doing commissions or just general favours for the public with your adventuring buddy Aether and his friend (pet? guardian fairy?) Paimon, but he’s been in Liyue for the last week or so helping Zhongli run some errands, and likely won’t be back for another few days. He had asked you whether you’d wanted to come with him - the two of you make a dynamic duo like no other, after all - but the last time you’d spent time with Zhongli, you’d ended up having to pay about ten thousand Mora in terms of expenses on his behalf. You love the guy, but he really grinds your gears with his inability to comprehend how basic currency works sometimes.

So off Aether had gone to Liyue, though not without promising to bring you back a Starconch or something in return for your offer to patrol his area for him in his absence, and you had stayed behind in Mondstadt, promising to let him know if anything about his missing twin sister comes up while he’s gone.

As much as you’d like to (mostly for poor Aether’s fragile sense of self worth), you can’t say it’s been a particularly difficult week without him in terms of work - you miss your friend, of course, but there haven’t really been any outstanding attacks in the area that you didn’t manage to take care of within the hour. The lack of disturbances also means that Mr Darknight Hero over there hasn’t had much to do either, so he’s spent most of the past few nights behind the bar - which means, of course, that you’ve been coming is much more often than usual to see him.

Angel’s Share is a bar by trade, so of course it’s open all night to any gracious patron looking for something to drink. More than often it’s full, being one of the more renowned taverns in the city, but today is a day of rest, and so Diluc had closed up shop about half an hour ago.

Why are you still allowed in Angel’s Share if it’s closed, you ask? Well, obviously it’s because Diluc likes you so much!

No, that’s a lie - while you’ve always thought of Diluc as a close friend, you’re more inclined to believe that Diluc himself is only letting you stay here past closing time because he owes you for helping him out with a particularly overzealous Abyss Mage that had gotten a little too close to the city gates yesterday.

Still, you can’t help but hope that there’s some other reason behind his lenience...

“Hair’s hard to take care of, and you have a lot of it,” You respond matter-of-factly, dipping a biscuit into your mug of tea and shoving it whole into your mouth. Much like Diluc, you prefer to abstain from alcohol when you can - ironic, considering you’ve spent so much time in a bar recently. “I’m just curious. What do you do with it when you go to sleep?”

He shakes his head with a quiet scoff and returns to polishing an empty tankard. “I don’t do anything with it.”

“What, so you just leave it in a ponytail all the time?”

Diluc looks up to see you shooting him a scandalised look. He sighs, evidently not particularly willing to put up with one of your moods this late at night. “Of course not.”

You relax a little, only to stiffen right back up when he continues, “I take it down to wash it.”

“You—” You take a deep breath in an effort to calm yourself, setting your elbows on the table and pressing your hands together as if praying to Barbatos to save this poor man’s hair-ends. Finally, after a moment of silence, you ask, voice hushed, as if afraid that the answer will be too much for you to handle, “How the hell is your hair still so pretty?”

Diluc pauses in the middle of putting his freshly-polished tankard away. He takes a long while to formulate a response - whether because he’s nonplussed by the gormlessness of your question or something else (because he’s flustered, maybe? You know better than to hope in vain, but you can’t really help what your idiot of a heart does to your mind).

Finally, though, he mutters in reply, “Pretty?”

Your hand hesitates in the middle of reaching for another biscuit from the plate sitting next to you. Diluc doesn’t sound offended, but you know better than to assume that he isn’t. You don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with calling his hair pretty, but maybe it stings his ego as a man or something?

“Uh, yeah…?” You curl your fingers around your warm mug and pull it towards you, staring determinedly down at its contents to disguise your growing nervousness. “I mean, well, it always looks really healthy and soft and glowy and stuff…”

Well, if he wasn’t offended before, he probably is now. You mentally cuff yourself around the head, reminding yourself that you shouldn’t let yourself get loose-lipped just because you’re so relaxed in the homeliness of the tavern. It doesn’t matter how comforting the warmth of the mug in your hands is, nor does it matter how fuzzy just being in Dilic’s presence makes you feel - you need to watch what you say.

But then you see Diluc move out of the corner of your eye, and you look back up to see him standing much closer than he was before, a smile tugging at his lips. You can practically feel your heart screech out of pure surprised joy as he reaches out and gently brushes his knuckles against your cheek.

“Thank you,” He murmurs - do you dare to hope that you hear affection in his voice? - and pulls away as quickly as he’d come close. “I appreciate it.”

You aggressively force your breathing to even out as he moves back to his work, going about his usual duties of making sure all the bottles on display are tightly shut and squeaky clean. Surely the fact that he willingly initiated contact with you - and such intimate-feeling contact at that - must mean something? Diluc has never been the type to be physically affectionate with friends, not like Kaeya, who you’re pretty sure has kissed about half of his entire friendship circle, or Lisa, who has absolutely zero qualms about giving a stranger a bone-crushing hug if they need one. Even if this only means that he considers you a closer friend than the others, though, you can’t help the delighted flutter in the pit of your stomach.

Diluc’s touch has far more power than you’ll ever admit - brief as the contact was, it’s sent such a rush of adrenaline through your entire body that you somehow muster up enough courage to abruptly ask, “Would you mind if I braided it?”

Diluc pauses again. You watch him in anticipation as he slowly turns around to look back at you. “...why would you want to do that?”

“Uh—” You struggle to come up with a decent reason that won’t make you sound like a lovesick fool, and eventually settle on, “I just think it would look nice?”

Diluc stares at you in silence for so long that you begin to think that you’ve lost him completely with your out-of-nowhere request. Then, however, he gives you a curt nod. “Go ahead.”

You barely catch yourself in time to prevent your shock from showing on your face as Diluc moves out from behind the counter and sits down in the seat beside you. “...uh?”

“Go ahead,” He repeats, reaching up and untying his hair from its low ponytail. It tumbles over the back of the chair in messy waves, reflecting the light of the fire so precisely that it almost looks like it’s glowing in the dim lighting of the tavern. “I assume you know how, since you offered.”

It takes you a moment to do something other than stare in pure dumbfounded surprise, but once you snap out of your mini-trance, you nod hurriedly and get to your feet, reaching in your pocket as you do so. You’ve made a habit of carrying around spare hair ties and a foldable wooden comb ever since you and Aether had started working together - his hair comes undone from its plait a lot in battle, and it’s always all matted and tangled in the morning if he lets it down to sleep - which means you won’t have to fumble about for an hour trying to comb’s Diluc’s abundance of hair out with only your fingers.

Diluc is sitting as prim and proper as ever in his chair as you hesitantly move around to stand behind him and - after a long, uncertain pause - begin to brush his hair. His back is ramrod straight, which doesn’t look comfortable at all, but you suppose that whatever works for him is fine.

“That feels nice,” He murmurs quietly as you carefully tease out a knot. Your hands freeze for a moment, then silently continue with their work. “You’re good at this.”

After a pause, you reply, equally quiet, “I get a lot of practice.”

He hums in reply, and the deep rumble of his voice almost seems to fill the room. “...with Aether, I presume.”

You nod, then realise he can’t see you and hurry to give him a verbal answer. “Yeah.”

There’s a long silence between the two of you. You continue to work your way through Diluc’s abundance of hair, painstakingly spending far too long combing out each tangle and kink out of fear that you’ll hurt him if you get too rough.

You don’t know how much time has passed by the time Diluc finally speaks up again. “You spend a lot of time with him.”

It’s a statement, not a question - but you can’t blame him for phrasing him that way. It’s well-known around the city of Mondstadt that you and Aether have been partners-in-crime ever since the two of you had bonded over nearly being stampeded by a swarm of hilichurls and working together to kill them all. It’s odd that he’s bringing it up now, though… you wonder why.

“...well, I do, yes. We are adventuring partners…”

Diluc inhales and lets out a soft sigh. You don’t miss the way that his shoulders tense up slightly. Another long silence passes, and he finally murmurs, “I might be a little jealous.”

You freeze again. Did you hear him right? Did Diluc really just say what you think he just said? He’s… jealous?

You don’t even have time to try to formulate a response before he starts speaking again. “The two of you are always out exploring together. It’s rare that we get to see each like this.”

“...hey, now…” It’s not often that you’re unable to find words - you’ve always had a sharp tongue. Right now, though, it feels like they’ve all dried up in your mouth. “What are you trying to say…?”

Diluc pauses. Then he lets out a soft chuckle - one that has no right to have the effect on you that it does. “...nothing. I just mean that it’s nice to be able to spend time together like this.”

He doesn’t continue, and you take that as a sign that this particular stretch of the conversation is over, and return to carefully separating his hair into segments. Your hands wobble imperceptibly as you do so, but if he notices, he doesn’t say anything about it.

Diluc sighs and lets his shoulders relax as you start pulling the locks of hair over each other into the beginnings of a long braid, carefully tugging it closer to the base of his head so that it looks a little neater. You’re not sure whether you want to go for something similar to Aethar’s plait or something more intricate, but considering the hour, you’d probably be better off keeping it simple. You wonder briefly what colour ribbon would look nice against the deep red of his hair, but quickly shut the idea down - it’s already a wonder that Diluc is letting you do this, and you don’t want to push your luck.

(You don’t know this, but, though his face is calm and composed, Diluc is so hyper aware of his stuttering heartbeat that he’s sure you can hear it. He almost wishes you would use more force with your hands, if only so that he can feel the movement of your fingers more clearly - there’s something therapeutic in the way they weave through his hair. He could almost fall asleep there on the spot, so soothing is your presence and the warmth of the fire, but he wants to talk longer.)

“Hey,” you begin, suddenly feeling that the quietude is more awkward than comfortable. “If you’re ever free, uh… I’m sure Aether wouldn’t mind if you came out on an expedition with us. There are some rumours about an Oceanid popping up in Starfell Lake…”

Diluc makes an indiscernible noise in response to indicate that he’s thinking about your question. You wait with bated breath, only to feel disappointment drop in your chest like a rock when he shakes his head, shifting the incomplete braid in your hands.

A moment later, though, the pressure disappears as he says quietly, “I’d much rather go with you alone.”

“Oh…” You breathe out loud before realising your mistake. You resist the urge to slap your hand to your mouth to shut yourself up, and instead hurry to rectify yourself by continuing, “That sounds good.”

Diluc chuckles again. “You don’t sound particularly enthused by the idea.”

“No, that’s not what I meant!” You shock even yourself with just how indignantly loud your voice gets. You hasten to quiet yourself, continuing much more mutedly, “Um— I mean, I’d love to.”

You can’t see his face, but you can almost hear Diluc’s soft smile in the way he speaks. “Then it’s settled. I’ll take a look at my schedule and let you know when I’m free, alright?”

You can’t help but feel an enormous grin pulling at your own mouth. Well, can anyone really blame you? You’ve just discovered that your unrequited feelings for Diluc might not be as unrequited as you’d initially thought! It’s almost too good to be true - as if you’re dreaming. It’s like the two of you are one of those couples in Venti’s songs, the ones that he likes to play after a good hour of so of drinking, staring meaningfully at you at the end of each… line…

Wait a minute…

A flame-haired noble with a stare as cold as ice, who does his duties by day and hunts evil at night? An adventurer with no roots left at home, who clings to action so as to not feel so alone? The longing stares across a busy room, the late nights thinking of a face so dear, the romance waiting to blossom and bloom, the hopes and wishes that they would stay here?

Son of a hilichurl! That cheeky bard really wrote a song about you and Diluc - and you somehow hadn’t noticed!

“What’s wrong?”

You jolt out of your train of thought as Diluc turns around to look at you. The faint concern on his face is enough to send butterflies spinning through your stomach. Stupid heart. Am I really that weak for this man? “Huh?”

“You haven’t moved in a while,” He says by way of explanation, gesturing to the end of the braid that you’re still holding. “Is there something bothering you?”

You stare at his face - at the deep red of his irises, the flutter of his long lashes, the strands of red hair framing his face, the faint freckles on the slope of his nose. You breathe out a quiet laugh. Perhaps there will never be a time when you can tell him the true extent of how you feel about him, but this will certainly be a start.

“No, nothing at all. So, about tomorrow…?”

#unedited #genshin impact #genshin imagines #diluc x reader #genshin diluc #genshin aether #genshin venti #i wrote this at like two in the morning so i'm sorry if it sucks #you know i thought i'd be more desperate for wishes when i played this game after seeing everyone online #but i'm already so attached to my team now that i kinda don't want any new characters??? #(my team is aether kaeya barbara and lisa btw) #i've levelled up chongyun up because i was debating replacing kaeya as the cryo in my team but now i just use him for the electro hypostasis #and that's it #i've just got fischl and sucrose sitting it here at level one because i can't be bothered to level them up #anyway sorry about rambling #enjoy this little thing darlings!!

[rumblelibrary]

The Diary of Doctor Laszlo Kreizler

Chapter 1

Synopsis: Alienist’s notes are private, sometimes gruesome, secrets of others and of himself.Those pages belongs to secrecy and decadence, have a glimpse to this world made of drafts, notes, accidents and reflections. Or maybe it is you the only person that should ever reach for it.

While you read this imagine Laszlo mostly at the end of his day, scraping the ideas and the thoughts, adjusting previous notes with additions, closing the day behind himself with a couple of sentences while sitting in his evening robe, a good glass of whiskey and his glasses bridged almost at the tip of his nose. Or maybe imagine yourself, you sneaky thing, reach for it from a far shelf.

Word count: 3k

Warnings: listen, this is the set of ideas and confessions of a man living in the 1890’s. Most of them will be outdated, rough, even deprecating in some analysis of the roles of men, women and social status, religion, etc.So be prepared, my point is to make Laszlo reflect upon those topics, but to be as faithful as I can to his time. Mention of death, mutilation, self harm and a minor depiction of a fight. Psychologically troubled young children ahead! Author’s note: I am a nerd for a good Victorian novel and a sexy Alienist.I have always been charmed by Laszlo’s mind and inner conflicts. So I took the chance and tried to have a run into that rollercoaster.  The story is placed between season 1 and season 2.

Diary belonging to Dr. Laszlo Kreizler.  This is a professional book of annotations over medical treatments of an alienist toward his patients. Do not disclose and send it back to the address if found: Kreizler’s Institute, xxxxxx, New York City (NY) L.K.

Samuel Griswold Goodrich, Illustrated Natural History of the Animal Kingdom (c1859). Contributed for digitization by University Library, University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign.

Schiller in his “Die Weltweisen” wrote: So long as philosophy keeps together the structure of the Universe so long does it maintain the world’s machinery by hunger and love. From the philosopher point of view sexual life takes a subordinate position in human’s life, from recent studies pushed by European philosophers, everything is about sexuality and its development. I like to think of the experience of being an alienist as the process of Queen Penelope that, while waiting for her husband Ulysses return, undoes her craftwork every night. I undo the fabulous constructs of people’s beliefs to go back to the rough sketch that stands at the beginning of their loss, their complex, their pain. Maybe that’s why working with children is so motivating and fascinating. They can be saved and yet, I am well aware, some of those sketches already traced in their young lives equal to scars that not even the most advanced theories could cure. But I can sooth them. I can prevent them the torment, the anguish, the recollection at night of those monsters. I feel like a poet would be a better alienist than a philosopher, but I have got no poetry nor philosophy in my veins, but the cold experience of the razor blade judgment of Life itself.

Today I observed a fight among the children at the Institute. Age range between 10 and 12. Boys. The fight was over the possession of a side of the playground, the territory of a pack  of youngsters formed under the name of Steven. Peculiar lad, coming from a military background finds comfort in replicating the schemes he lived in his family. He takes the role of the Father/Captain of the team and subjects children that come from a similar background story, but do not posses his same attitude to the command. All quiet on the front, until the space he declared is own spot got affected by the presence of others.  Intruders. I knowingly let the events unfold to see how Steven would react to his challenged authority. His reaction was, at first, worded, a sketch, a stage-play of an action he witnessed over and over, and he knew the part so well that some of the contending kids lowered their stance against him. Among considering to mildly intervene into this pyramid scheme of authority, another boy, Jan, calls himself on the role of the educator and hero of the masses and proceeds to unfold a wild and well assessed punch on the newly declared dictator face. Balance is established again. No need for me to arbitrate, once more the laws of nature seem to apply to children as in a state of nature.

Meet John Moore over lunch. His job at the newspaper is picking up, he is charmed by the spirits and the wits that he finds in his shared office with all the other writers. He mentions many, goes on and on over qualities and troubles, gossips and tendencies, and even little scandals here and there. To be aware of all those details gives me no interest, but to see a dear friend so invested clearly gives me something to pick up. To consider also the amount of details and the way he describes this or that member of the journal, I can do a small exercise of analysis. It is almost too easy because John is painfully genuine, even some of the kids at the institute would beat him hands down in a battle of lies. The more he likes somebody, the more he goes on about all the details and the characteristics, often letting aside the physical appearance. When he doesn’t like somebody he has a couple of adjectives for the wits and around four or five for the physical aspects that usually indulge on some repulsive idiosyncrasies.  John is a man that painfully fits in the storyline of The Picture of Dorian Gray: to him physical beauty is spiritual beauty and, of course, the other way around. This part of him surely intrigues me, makes me want to tease more from him. But, as a friend, it concerns me as John is way too prone to purposelessly decide that somebody with good eyes is also a good human being, which is a very romantic and admirably naive way of judging matters. I noticed some names that keep repeating in his narration. I dread that it is synonymous of a soon encounter from my side with the objects of his admiration. Fetiches, I dare to say, that I will have to annihilate before they sediment into his mind, perpetuating a narration that soon sees John being mislead by others.

Reserved: Tickets for the Eroica, Symphony n. 3 by Ludwig van Beethoven. Thursday evening.

Note on the show: the first movement lacked the pathos needed to begin with, I am not sure that the guest orchestra really managed to portray the wider emotional ground needed to withstand the whole representation. As the evening progressed there were some outstanding performances by the cellists. Still not approving the choice of reprising the early quick finale movement against the lengthy set of variations and fugue that we are used to in presence of the Eroica. Underwhelming the performance of the horn and oboe, vital in the comprehension of the genius of Beethoven. 

Niki is a new addition of the Institute, quite old for the standards. He is already 16, he will leave when summer ends to some expensive college his family meant him to stay. His parents expect me to make him “normal” in the time we are allowed together.  He is Austrian and I let him act it out like I don’t understand German for the first week of hist stay until today. I believe I hit his pride, which is good, in the moment I answered back to one of his sneaky comments. Now he knows. He is not safe from me, he doesn’t like it. The young man has a tendency to danger, risky tasks and edgy situations. In his mother’s own words “Niki is not afraid of anything”. The phrase didn’t raise any excitement in the father, rather some sort of painful acceptance that is role as the alpha male of the house is probably not only being challenged, but  already diminished, if not abolished. I have taken in consideration that Niki will break himself a bone or two in the process of the therapy, probably out of the spite of boredom or rebellion. It took him less than few days to turn himself into an outcast among the outcasts, which only drives me closer to analyse the complexity of his narcissistic wall of self defence. I gave him a physical challenge to lift a certain weight, he is a pretty skinny one, he didn’t like the challenge, but I am sure he will take it. He is a brainy guy, he hates to be questioned on unfamiliar ground. He won’t sleep at night thinking about it.  A challenge, in this first phase, can only bring me closer to the ease of his pains. To continue the observation.

It is a sad privilege of medicine, in particular the one I practice, to be able to witness the weaknesses of the human nature and the reverse side of life. Nevertheless, I oblige this same privilege of the study as life moves into shades of darkness. To be aware of it gives more solace to my soul than to be victim of patiently waiting for the inevitable unfolding of the events. To be able to understand more about psychology would bring more comfort and elevation to any human being, the times might not be there yet, but eventually something will move into the direction of a more wholesome approach.

Dinner meeting with Sara Howard, at the restaurant Jardin Des Cygnes, 7 pm sharp.  Do not expect to reach the dessert. Do not know if John will be participating due to undeniable tension among the two and the fatal despise of John over French cuisine.

The case that Sara unfolded tonight to my ears feels more and more like pulled out from some gothic book or from the mind of a Roman historian that needed to justify the godly origins of an Emperor. One killing, apparently random, a very constructed iconography over the body. Signs and insults, shapes and drawings. Is this a work of art? Does the killer wants his victim to be his Mona Lisa? His David? I am charmed and destabilised. If this was a murder like any other, then why to spend so much time into it? Based on the description the act of killing itself was quick: a sharp cut over the throat, almost like not wanting to ruin too much the surface to use as base for, what? I keep rerunning those symbols over and over as Sara described them to me, my mind is flooded with the designs of greek philosophers that needed to explain themselves why the sky is above our head and never collapses on us. Hilarious how, no matter the science advancement, in the mind of many the sky stands inevitably overt their shoulders, suffocates them, brings them to a death of the soul and not of the body. Is all this graphic charade indeed only a form to scream for attention?  To stress the eyes of an unaware viewer? It seems ridiculously elaborate, a scream for attention would be quick, it would be like guided by instinct, not reasoning, craftwork. Any man with a knife can paint in blood red the walls of a room and that’s asking for attention. That is the primal howl: look at me! I am here! But this one.  I don’t know yet.

Spent the early morning reading anew my copy of The Metamorphosis by Ovid. Didn’t touch it in a long time and I got bedazzled by the world of terrible sensuality, anger and selfishness of those gods and mortals. I think back at all the deviances and weaknesses of human kind and I try to relate it to all of those humanoid figures. Niki would be a minotaur, the lonesome son left in the labyrinth and his strive for success is his bull’s head. Or maybe a centaur, because of his wits and strategic thinking. I might keep up the process, maybe this is the way to understand my patients better, to understand the killer better. Must remember not to romanticise it. Greek gods were probably the first form of self indulging of a society that needed gods to be forgiving and allowing favours and punishments, but only in exchange of sacrifices. But the sacrifice never comes from the God’s will, but from the will of the man that perpetuates the act of killing. To sacrifice someone or something is the sadistic response to a lack of love deeply inherited in human mind that becomes neurotic. Is the killer giving the God of his own neurosis a body to feast upon? 

I talked with Jan this morning. The young boy is about 10, but he acts like a full grown adult. I could easily asses that’s the reason why he could challenge Steven in that fight. Two children mimicking adults situations they know too well. Jan is son of an industrial man, but he is also son of the dialectics of the industrial revolution. He sounds like he swallowed some of those books about working class rights and communism, probably pushed by a resentful surrounding (mother?uncle? the midwife?) over the social role of his father. As much as incredibly smart and lectured, Jan lost most of his early occasions in life by spending a considerable amount of time using his fists. The anger ever present in the young boy always surprises me, he seems to be holding a power, a strength of a full grown man in those tiny arms. Nevertheless, he is already the tallest of the group. He is surely an idealist, which makes him also tragically fragile. His strength mixed with his heart of gold can make him the best of the heroes or the worst of the villains. He apologised for the fight, he specified how he didn’t like the sound of Steven’s voice, more than the sound, the level of pitch.  I can’t stand somebody shouting orders, I just don’t listen anymore. He is so mature even about his own feelings, almost a gentleman in his chivalry toward the weaker children, honest with his open heart and resentful against any form of injustice.  I am not spared by his ways, he would come at me whenever he feels like I was being partial over some of the kids, his sense of justice blinds him and transform a perfectly balanced boy into a ranging animal.

Ordered book, to be delivered around tomorrow evening: Introduction à la méthode de Léonard de Vinci by Paul Valéry. Suddenly feeling myself as a gross ignorant in art themes. I always regarded myself aware of the artistic personalities and tendencies of present and past, but this new amount of perceptions over the human figure and the human body leads me to document myself more. I could ask John for advice, but he wouldn’t take things at matter that seriously. I can almost hear him say how I can make gruesome a pleasant topic such as art. I should probably wait to see the body to push any further aesthetic study, but I find myself not being able to stop. I reckon, I can allow myself a vice or two.

Today I saw the body of the killed man, courtesy of the Isaacson's. To be fair, I had underestimated it. In Sara’s descriptions, probably due to her more analytic mind, all the charm of the representation got lost in favour of a less cryptic and reasonable understanding of the act. Sara got what some alienists will call a masculine mind, which I don’t perfectly agree on. If I apply that same approach John would be a very feminine mind, all wrapped up in romanticising even the ugliest. I guess that dividing the world in “fragile and gentle” and “strong and powerful” is just easier to explain the fluctuation of something that doesn’t need a real name or a category like human inclinations on thoughts.  I got a feverish sense of patience by looking at the body. Each symbol traced with sapient slowness, dense of the time that the killer spent with the body. That is a work of hours, he had time and meaning. He had resources and was able to spend not less than the time he needed to reach, a vision? An ideal? A message? Is it the message meant to be understood? Am I supposed to unravel it or it is maybe just the way the killer communicates within himself? And if I do decifrate the code, will that bring me closer to him? Or to his next victim?

Reminder: ask John to replicate all the symbols on the bodies in the correct measure and order. It might be needed some hard convincing. Addition: scheduled meeting, his house, 3 pm.

It wasn’t a day like any other when I met you. Or maybe it was, and that’s why I got so struck by it and now I am here playing it over and over through what my memory clung on so desperately. In my own experience, life was often similar to swimming in a lake. Those rich, dense lakes in the north of (illegible cancelled word) were my father used to bring us during summer. I still feel the pull, the draw down toward the abyss. It ashamed me, in a way, the fear that such a simple feeling aroused in my young mind, unaware nevertheless, that such a feeling would follow me through all my existence. It was a prophecy and, like most of the prophecies, was a riddle. I cradle in my heart the charm of those days, the mindless happiness. The foolish feeling of freedom. Little I knew that freedom would be taken away from me that soon, that the body that used to navigate me over the dense waters, helping me to fight the haul toward the unknown, would become my own cage. That day. Today. The day where I met you, the day I was afloat.  The child gasping for air felt the wrench become a gentle push and now he is floating on his back over the scary waters of reality and malice. It gave me relief and it gave me terror, because since that very moment I knew that I would never be able to move on from the sight of you. From the feeling of your eyes lingering on me. From the smile you so easily shone upon me. From the whiff of imported perfume that hit me when you turned on side exploding that swan like neck. And nothing, not even my stern look, could dim that wave of hope that your sole presence washed over me. The abyss roars, calls me to a home of damnation and terror and curses my name and yet you repeated that hell-bound name of mine after me and I felt safe.

John told me so much about you, it feels like I have always known you.

The rope is gone from my neck, the guillotine won’t fall on me, I am spared, I am free.

I have read your latest article, I am thrilled to help with the case.

I am in disbelief.

Your voice.

Dr. Kreizler

How dare you? How dare you to come into my life, to appear, like a vision, mystical, in a way I despised at University when all those theology students talked about the divine. In this very moment I can’t recollect much of what you said, something about the case, about going with John at the obituary. It feels confusing, I feel overstimulated, my memory fails me, I am not sure anymore. I write these few lines and it is passed the hour of the witches and I wish, I demand, to never see you again, because life should never grant hope to a condemned man. 

#dr laszlo kreizler #dr laszlo kreizler imagine #dr laszlo kreizler x reader #dr laszlo kreizler x you #laszlo kreizler #laszlo kreizler headcanons #laszlo kreizler x reader #the alienist fanfic #victorian age #v writes #the diary of doctor laszlo kreizler

[vaultureculture]

Meet my Guardians :) [part 1?]

I have been playing Eldarya ever since I was 14. For the past few years, I had been reading the story religiously, mixing in headcanons to fill plot-holes, and  fleshing out Erika until she became something entirely different. 

Her character soon split into my three mains, all of whom I will introduce to you all in this post! In my Eldarya AU, they all exist in the same universe, and the three of them play crucial roles in the Oracle’s prophecy. I will develop them more as time goes by hmhm

1-Monnika

Name: Monnika Defreine (she/her)

Birth date: 14th November  [  ♏︎  ]

Age: 22

Species: Faelienne (Aengel+Human)

MBTI: INFP

Guard: Absynthe Guard

Familiar: Lillith (Bâkhrâhell)

LI: Leiftan (both in TO and in ANE)

Occupation in the Guard of Eel: She has taken on the role of a teacher for many children inside the H.Q’s walls. She specializes in lyrical poetry and composition. Whenever she is free from her teaching job, she adventures out into the forest to collect ingredients for ointments and potion spells. 

Sub-occupation: Trained alchemist, Oracle visualizer. Monnika has frequent premonitory dreams and visions featuring the Oracle, but she cannot understand them nor speak in their tongue. Her visual communication with the Oracle is important regardless, and she’s the most attached to it.  

Weapon of choice: Sword

Pros: Forgiving, educated, compassionate, patient, reliable. 

Cons: A push-over, easily biased, indecisive, self-victimizing, very edgy.

Monnika follows the more “canon Erika” path. She is the only one of the main three to have come from Earth through the portal we see at the beginning of the game. She is also the only one to retain an element of Aengel blood, albeit stronger than Erika’s. The option was ruled out for canon Erika, but Monnika is indeed adopted and a faelienne. She’s aware of her adoption but does not know anything else about her background, nor has she cared to know.

In her childhood, she was often reported to affect nearby light and energy sources. Her parents believed her to simply be sensitive to electromagnetic fields. This explanation is usually given to spiritual mediums: The energy they accumulate is said to be what causes paranormal phenomena around them. 

Once she crossed the portal into Eldarya, she began regulating her Maana, and her powers started manifesting more. The eventual blood transfusion and ‘soul-tethering’ with Leiftan jumpstarted a physical transformation, leaving her stuck out of her human disguise. Now, do not let her edgy appearance fool you: she is an Aengel. 

Monnika's form is inspired by traditional Seraphims— that is, ominous balls of eyes and feathers. Her blood is ancient, and her outside reflects it:  Upon transforming, all of her grows in size monstrously. She prostrates, back heavy with wings, as blazing white light fills her sockets. Her spindly fingers dig into the soil, like the feeble limbs of a black widow spider. She is one with the earth her mother bore her from; in her presence, one feels as though judgment is neigh.

There are no reasons to fear her, though, for she is kind and reserved. Monnika finds joy in tranquility and avoids company most of the time. After her initial transformation, she grew more distant, ashamed of her new condition. Her human blood keeps her from smoothly regulating her powers, so she is stuck in her angel form from the first time it occurs to the end of the War for Eldarya, before the 7-year coma. With training, she is finally able to change back to a more human disguise. 

Leiftan and Monnika are, indeed, soulmates. She always felt herself gravitate towards him and followed this attraction without remorse. Her alliance stands with Leiftan and with Leiftan only, which made her position in TO quite complicated. Her lover's crimes were heinous, but her eagerness to build bridges between them again kept her from understanding the seriousness of it all. After their coma, her spirit and trust are broken by Leiftan's distance. She's then left to pine from afar, desperately trying to comprehend how she's supposed to live with half a heart.  

2-Astraea

Name: Astraea Varma (she/her)

Birth date:  5th March [ ♓︎ ]

Age: 24

Species: Euryhalin nomadic mermaid

MBTI: ISFJ

Guard: Obsidian Guard

Familiar: Thetis (Blobbiathan)

LI: Valkyon (TO) & Mathieu (ANE) 

Occupation in the Guard of Eel: Unwilling to find herself (or her peers) wounded and helpless in the midst of battle, she started working as a nurse under the protection of Ewelein. Her eagerness to learn and help others soon turned her into a sponge for medical knowledge.

Sub-occupation: Obsidian infantry soldier, Crystal fragment detector. Astraea can easily sense the presence of crystal fragments, corrupted or not. She can easily follow them to where they are, as if they left a visible trail. 

Weapon of choice: Hammer or enchanted fists. 

Pros: law-abiding, empathetic, just, optimistic, fun to be around. 

Cons: Inflexible, holds grudges, bad loser, stubborn, quick to judge.  

Astraea washed up on a small stream that crosses the forest of Eel. She was found by Ykhar and Alajéa on the noon of the same day that Monnika appeared in the Crystal Room. Astraea had no recollection of her journey upon waking up beside the fact that she was looking for something significant. She made allusions to it being noted down in her journals, all of which she lost in the last half of her trip. 

She comes from a clan of Euryhalin nomadic mermaids, aquatic creatures who can travel both through rivers and oceans according to migratory seasons. These migration patterns are marked by the moon and the stars, so these mermaids are essentially nocturnal. This is similar (if not the same, even) to the structure and tradition of Alajéa and her sister Colaïa’s clan. The likeness between Alajéa and Astraea’s experiences will eventually strengthen the bond between them, and make them grow closer than ever— despite the initial moments of sourness. The only thing that could throw a spanner in the works is Astraea's distaste for Karenn, Alajéa's best friend. The breach between them is no different in ANE, as Karenn's overall demeanor is quick to make Astraea's blood boil.

Despite being an Obsidian, Astraea fears conflict and very much dislikes harming others. She is not one to await battle with a smile, nor is she an outstanding warrior by herself. Nevertheless, it is her wit, perseverance, and fairness that landed her on that guard. Moments of doubt, like passing mists, may have clouded her self-perception; She may have broken down many times but always stood up again to dedicate more effort to her cause. She fights when necessary, using her knowledge in enchantments to gather up fists of rocks as her weapons.

Incredibly passionate about justice and discipline, Astraea held the Obsidian chief Valkyon in high regard. He became one of her confidants in the tortuous search for her memories; then, a partner to stand by as the world caved in. After the War and the 7-year coma, Astraea withdrew into isolation, grieving over the loss of her lover and mentor. The cherry tree that once was Valkyon’s shelter is now Astraea’s place of reflection— a deep, melancholic pondering only Mathieu, a new friend, and Sonzaishinai, an old friend, can get her out of. 

3)Sonzaishinai

Name: Hélène “Sonzaishinai” Müller(she/her)

Birth date:  20th May [ ♊︎ ]

Age: 25

Species: Nocturnal fae (moth variant)

MBTI: ENTP

Guard: Shadow Guard

Familiar: Skade (Owlett)

LI: Nevra (TO) & Lance (ANE)

Occupation in the Guard of Eel:  Hélène had always shown a questionable interest in the archives of the H.Q. When Ykhar offered her to work as an adjoined archive librarian, she could not pass it up. She knows the catalogue by heart and has gathered a bunch of...information that may be of use to her. 

Sub-occupation: Master archer, Oracle interpreter. Sonzaishinai has auditory hallucinations featuring the Oracle. She is able to understand her tongue and speak in the Ancient tongue of Eel, thus being able to interpret many crucial pieces of information. 

Weapon of choice: Bow and arrow.

Pros: Diplomatic, humorous, witty, loyal, affectionate. 

Cons: Hides information, violent under stress, impulsive, patronizing. 

Sonzaishinai was brought to the H.Q disheveled and delirious by a group of local Purreko merchants. They had accused her of theft (bread? a dragon tear? so they said), and she was thrown into a cell pre-emptively. Nevertheless, her worn-down state and the lack of evidence ended the trial period rather quickly. For lack of planning and information about her, she was kept in jail for an extra day. Sonzaishinai was in prison at the same time as Monnika. The 'masked man' freed both, and the girls parted ways at the Hall of Doors. 

As a disoriented newcomer, Sonzaishinai was granted shelter. She was allowed three days to recover and decide on her fate. She would either hit the road and return to her homeland or commit to becoming a productive citizen of Eel— by settling and supporting local markets, or joining the staff. Her affairs were thoroughly searched, and nothing was found but a couple notebooks filled with inscriptions in an alphabet unknown. Under questioning, Sonzaishinai soon proved to be, somehow, proficient in languages galore, many of them forgotten and unused. 

She soon joined the same recruit program as Monnika and Astraea...not without the Guard's persuasion, of course. There, Sonzaishinai and Astraea grew close beyond belief. They learned to lean on each other, bound by laughter and blind trust. Sonzaishinai considers Astraea a sister and does not hesitate to call her so— while Astraea always goes to Sonzaishinai for guidance. In ANE's weapon giving ceremony, Hélène chooses to call her new bow (it is Monnika who gets the sword) "Astraea", for she believes the younger mermaid to be her protection and good luck charm.

The nickname "Sonzai Shinai" was given to her by a guard colleague from the Jade Coast. It is a verbal expression of Japanese origin, meaning "there is not", "it does not exist". The culprit behind Hélène's telling nickname is no other than her silence: One can barely hear her arrive, and she always seems to appear as suddenly as she fades away. With time, she fully adopted the nickname, and nobody really calls her Hélène anymore—with rare exceptions.

Nocturnal faes are beings as mysterious and charming as they are dangerous. Most of them present themselves as delicate young women, who seem far too attractive or even stuck in time, never aging.  Behind their lips, however, hide sharp teeth. They are carnivorous and oftentimes conniving, some even venomous, just like the habitats or plants they frequent. It depends on the individual, of course, but they do not have the best reputation around. Whatever they really are, it is not advisable to seal deals with them. They always have a trick up their sleeve.

Although Hélène can be 100% trusted if you are her ally, she does tend to keep many things a secret. It was her that contacted Lance in TO, never telling Miiko and even asking him to take her along. She built a sense of trust between them that allowed Lance to feel comfortable enough to kidnap her in particular, hoping she'd be the one to understand his goals the most. He'd never thought that she'd know as much as him and that she'd been using him to get new leads the entire time. Despite it all, they were always capable of dialogue, which threatens to come back in an incredibly mentally stimulating way upon their new meeting. 

Regarding Nevra, Sonzaishinai had always felt a strong, nurturing love towards him. He'd proven to be an ambitious brat with too big of an ego one too many times, but his light-heartedness and genuine attachment got to her rather quickly. Upon waking up after the 7-year coma, she did not recognize the moody and regretful man before her. He'd promised to love her forever, but now she stood alone spiteful, facing empty words. Despite their falling out, she will always have a soft spot for him and won't doubt to put herself in harm's way for him.

#eldarya #eldarya a new era #gardienne #erika #beemov #eldarya oc #oc #eldarya guardian #original character #eldarya ane #eldarya to #eldarya spoilers #eldarya karenn #eldarya alajea #eldarya leiftan #eldarya nevra #eldarya valkyon #eldarya lance

[lacrimaomnis]

BRF Reading, 5/7/2021

I am planning to continue reading for the rest of the BRF members on how their July would be, but I had this question popping on my mind when I had my tea earlier today, so I feel like I need to draw on this. I've been seeing allegations and teas of Meghan did this, Meghan did that, she's crazy jealous towards Catherine, she's overly obsessed with William, she is abusive towards Harry, she wants to be the Queen Consort, etc etc yadda yadda. This honestly had me wondering, how does Meghan look at herself? What does she see when she sees herself in the mirror? How does she perceive herself? This is also one reading I'd like to try a new spread of cards, so there is also that.

As written, this is merely a speculation and therefore must be taken with a grain of salt. This speculation is not true until proven otherwise.

Naturally, my question is, how does Meghan perceive herself?

Cards drawn: Six of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, Five of Wands, King of Wands, Three of Cups, The High Priestess, The Fool, Temperance, The Hanged Man, Knight of Pentacles

Remarks/Comment: I tell you, working with a spread where half of the cards are major arcana is honestly shit. So many energies to read from, so many energies pulling the reading this and that way.

To make it more digestible and bearable to read for us all (and for me to type), I will divide the cards I've drawn into two parts. I will start my analysis with the first part, and then I'll be going over to the second part, and then the conclusion will be an overall overview of the spread.

First part: Six of Pentacles, Three of Pentacles, Five of Wands, King of Wands, Three of Cups, The High Priestess.

This section of the spread is the so-called "the cross" part, where these cards represent the happenings of the subject's life, internally and externally.

Now, the cross part itself can be divided into two parts: the axis and the wheel. The axis is the two centre cards, which are the heart of the matter, the foundation of the reading, the energy of the reading, whatever the semantics are. The rest of the cards are the wheel, the events that revolve around the central issue.

First card: Six of Pentacles. This is the so-called "present situation" card, mostly about what is currently happening at the present time, and also reflects someone's state of mind and how they perceive the situation (or themselves). Now, this is interesting, because this reaffirms what I have been seeing a lot with other readers: that Meghan and Harry are in debt. Six of Pentacles is generally a card of generosity, self-care, sharing wealth, and charity -- but one of its meanings is also unpaid debts and that meaning just jumped out of the cards. As one of the two cards of the axis, this tells me that this is one of the two parts of the heart of the matter. Meghan and Harry are in debt and they cannot pay for it.

Second card: Three of Pentacles. The so-called "problem" card. Generally, this card represents teamwork and collaboration, but because of its place, this card tells me that Meghan perceives herself as working alone and without allies. There are disagreements, or to be more Shakespeare-ish, disharmony. Combined with the Six of Pentacles, this tells me that Meghan and Harry are in disharmony, probably because of the outstanding debts that they cannot pay.

Third card: Five of Wands. The card of fighting for the sake of fighting. This is the "past" card, and as such, this is also similar to the card of "past influence". There have been fighting in the past. There is a change. There is tension. This card tells us that everyone is fighting to be heard, but no one is listening. This is how Meghan viewed herself: that no one is listening to her. She has told herself in the past that she was a victim, that no one listened to her when she spoke, and she used it as a weapon in public. Remember how she told Oprah in that interview that she was not "heard"? That she was "belittled" and "bullied"? That the Royal Family "bullied" her by allegedly asking what Archie's skin colour would be?

Fourth card: King of Wands. This is the so-called future card. Along with the tenth card, this usually speaks about how the near future would impact the final resolution/the outcome. King of Wands is a card about someone who is a natural-born leader, a visionary, honoured, and an entrepreneur. So, this card could mean that in the future, Meghan perceives herself and wants to be perceived as all these good things. But in reality, she is someone who is impulsive and ruthless. She doesn't think things through and cannot decide which lies to keep feeding the public with, which is why her stories are riddled with lies and holes. And the more she gives in to her impulsiveness, the more that everyone can see those holes in her stories. And even if she decides on one lie to keep and feed the public with, that can be debunked. Very easily.

Fifth card: Three of Cups. This is the "conscious" card of the cross part, talking about assumptions and desires. Cups are the suit of emotions, and Three of Cups is strongly associated with celebration, and it is an interesting card to come up with, to say the least. She desires to be celebrated. The centre of attention. But, this could also say that she's been partying very hard or is just overspending in general, which could answer why she had those outstanding debts she cannot pay.

Sixth card: The High Priestess. This is the so-called "unconscious" card, the underlying reasons for the manifestation of desires/assumptions seen in the fifth card. The High Priestess is a feminine card, speaking about intuition, the subconscious mind, secrets, withdrawal, and silence. This is interesting because at least for me, the cards do not match. When we celebrate something, it is because of something that has been answered. A birth, a promotion, a big event that brings such joy that it is worth celebrating. The High Priestess is the card of being quiet, trusting your intuition, and discarding all the unnecessary influence in order to understand your mind and what your intuition is telling you. This tells me that Meghan's desires and her underlying unconscious, the things she cannot control, are not matching, meaning she does not even understand what she wants.

But, as I am not confident in this interpretation, I decided to draw a clarifier on The High Priestess.

Clarified by: Three of Wands. Man, what's up with the Threes today? This card is about progress, expansion, foresight, but also about the lack of foresight. This tells me that Meghan lacks the foresight to see ahead, and so she doesn't understand what she wants and how to get there.

This part explains the second part of the spread, the so-called "staff" section. This part is given context by the cross-part, and this part is generally about someone's life outside of the situation presented by the first part of the spread.

Second part: The Fool, Temperance, The Hanged Man, Knight of Pentacles.

Honest to god, I do not like working on this part. The energy here is confusing, it feels like four people are pulling me in different directions at the same time. I've tried my best.

First card: The Fool. This is the card of beginnings, innocence, holding back, recklessness and risk-taking. Position wise, this is the card of the so-called "influence of self", so this card shows us that Meghan put herself in the situation represented by the six earlier cards by being reckless.

Second card: Temperance. This is the card of balance, moderation, patience. This is also the card of imbalance and excess. As the card of external influence, this led me to believe that people close to Meghan may have been advising her (and probably advising Harry as well) to not live excessively. To temper their emotions and not to get set off by the slightest of things. Now, as we all know, this is not their forte.

Third card: The Hanged Man. The card of waiting, stagnancy, resistance, indecision, and sacrifice. This is the card of hopes and fears -- so this card can be interpreted two ways. First is the interpretation of hope: this card might be interpreted that Harry and Meghan are hoping that people would be waiting to hear from them (aka positive PR), that everyone would bend their backs and knees at their whim, available at their every beck and call. That everyone would sacrifice everything for them.

The second interpretation would be that the fear of sacrifice. They feared sacrifice, particularly Meghan. Meghan does not want to leave Hollywood and the US, the reason she moved back to California soon after Megxit. I am thinking that she wants to be a non-working royal while she still has those juicy royal connections, something that we are all familiar with. She is asking for benefits but does not want the sacrifice that comes with it.

Fourth card: Knight of Pentacles. The so-called card of "possible outcome", this card is closely tied with the fourth card of the first part, the King of Wands. The Knight of Pentacles is the card of hard work, productivity, routine, self-discipline, boredom, and perfectionism. The King of Wands tells us that Meghan is way too impulsive to be able to be productive and do something more worthwhile other than doing PRs attacking BRF and sending out the same narrative again and again (productivity). She is too impulsive to have any kind of self-discipline and to accept responsibility.

Conclusion: This is one long and exhausting reading. Meghan and Harry are presumably in some kind of situation, money-wise, most probably outstanding debt. But instead of acknowledging that, Meghan still insists on pushing the narratives to make her the Diana 2.0, the People's Princess, the person that BRF throws away because she stands against "injustice", and above all, a victim. She desires to be celebrated, but she doesn't even know why she wants to be celebrated; she doesn't even know what she truly wants. She lacks the foresight to get what she desires. She wants the benefit of being a working royal but does not want the sacrifice that comes with it. So yes, she perceives herself as someone so important that she must always get what she wants, but she doesn't even know what she wants.

#reading: brf #g reads #this is one long ass reading and i am very exhausted #good night everyone

[annetteblog]

Intro & My take on KM

Hi!

I’m new around here so it’s supposed to be (not so short) introduction, since I don’t know how to start a blog heh. I hope to sprinkle my 0.5 cents into the KM conversation and maybe to bring a new perspective from someone, who is not a part of the typical English-speaking West.

Who /the hell/ Am I?  

(please, consider it to be said with NJ’s voice from Intro: Persona :D)

I was born in Siberia (it’s in the Asian part of Russia), currently live in the European part of the country while studying at a Uni (European in terms of geography, not in terms of everything else i’m definitely not shading rn lolllll). English is not my first language, I’ve just kind of learnt it to some extent. Due to this it takes me more time to write a post; and I may (and will) make some grammatical & other mistakes. Plus I’m lazy AND busy with Uni, so I won’t even promise to be consistent in posting smth lol. But I thought I need more practice in terms of writing in English, so here I am, actually scribbling something. This feels weird, because I’ve been around stan Tumblr since 2015, but never ever interacted, just read.

How I ended up around Jikook/Kookmin (and BTS) & My (long&messy) take on this matter

Although I had heard of BTS before, I became an Army only in October 2018. I had kinda avoided them, because you know... boybands.... sing songs about romantic love and how they love girls.......... (+I had been around Twitter when 1D been at their peak and I remember a quite toxic community of fans, whom always had scared me). Shortly, hello stereotypes. Obviously, after I got engaged I felt terribly sorry that I had been sleeping on them, but what is done cannot be undone. 

Someone I knew back then reposted one of their MVs and I, during my sad hours of procrastination, decided to watch it. Then I saw their live performance with the same song. And I thought “wow these guys can sing and dance and the music is kinda cool, i need to check this out maybe??” 

Then a funny thing happened. One of the next videos I watched (the same person had it added to their page) was a 2016 BangtanBomb where JM and JK practiced their Coming of Age dance. 

Do you know this moment with Gina from the 1st episode of Brooklyn 9-9:

Well, that was precisely me after I watched it. I don’t even know how to explain this, it was kind of a gut feeling? Whatever you call it, I started to get suspicious and couldn’t even explain to myself why. /actually now a do have questions to this vid and the main one - why does everyone cringe that much? if it’s a girly choreo than they had done some “girly” moves before. why is there such strong reaction??/

I started to get deeper and went to some ru-shipper communities. Shipping culture among Russian speaking fans is... well, weird to some extent, but I maybe address this topic some time later. You need to consider that (as far as you probably know) Russia is quite homophonic country and sadly is not the greatest place for LGBTQ+ community at the moment. The non-frienly influential attitudes hanging in the society + the general shippers’ weirdness = the result is not that nice honestly. 

I struggled for some time in order to find more mature people (not just in terms of age but in general sanity), failed, ended up with some EXTREMELY toxic ru-fans of TK, which was/is the most popular pairing here, spent among them like 15 minutes and ran away horrified. After that I didn’t even try to engage with shippers or believers or whatever of any pair and just decided to enjoy the music and the content (which is a great idea, highly recommend!)

After a couple of days I discovered that JK makes videos. I love video, films and visual art so I immediately found them on YT, saw the titles with names of different cities from all over the world and was like “Oh that must be so cool, he’s visited so many outstanding places I’ve never been to, so I really need to watch it! I shall enjoy some beautyyy”. Then I clicked on GCFt.

Well, what can I say. I did enjoy some beauty, but not the type I had initially anticipated. The biggest clickbait in my entire life. JK should be proud of himself.

                                       /as I said - the beauty/

I had already known Troy back then and I known the song’s lyrics so it would not be an underestimation to say - the video just blew my mind. I was like - hold on is this real? seriously?? no really really????? he manage to get away with something THAT obvious?????? dude how

As a person who edited videos AND is not a native English speaker, I don’t buy the explanation “oh he mustve didnt get the lyrics lmao”. You just don’t do that. You don’t. DON’T. You google and translate every shit you don’t understand, every word and idiom you’ve never encountered, because otherwise the possibility of an epic failure is very likely. You wouldn’t want to give your mum a video as a birthday present and then discover that you used a song with WAP-ish lyrics, right? (well maybe that would be okay in your family, I don’t judge, but that’s not the case for people I know). So don’t you dare to degrade JK’s intellectual capacities; such assumption is really offensive. He is a smart boii, he knows exactly what he’s doing in terms of his art.

So I was shocked, but decided to look for the context - maybe I missed some previous events regarding this Tokyo thing (another great idea - always check the context). Well, apparently I didn’t, because the whole narrative with the trip for two, lovely selfies etc. made my poor brain lowkey explode. (I still don’t buy the rings theory thing though)

But I didn’t give up lol! I’m a bit stubborn and it’s very hard to convince me in anything, so I decided to search for more context, more of their interactions, moreeee. Remember, the late October 2018, there were no swan lakes, RB, and even MMA18 hadn’t happened yet. 

This time I ended up watching content in more or less consistent way, and when I saw all of these scenes with affectionate JM and a cool badass i-don’t-care-about-anyone-i’m-a-manly-man-with-no-feelings-whatsoever JK, I just hysterically laughed. 

Homophobic Russia, remember? I recognized this. Growing up here being LGBT myself, taught me the same type behaviour during my high school days. When a girl I kinda liked but didn’t what to admit it to myself was nice to me or (oh god) flirted with me, I did something similar. It’s like a huge panic mode. Being an introvert doesn’t help either. The funniest thing is that you may not entirely realise what exactly is going on in terms of your own feelings, especially at that age (16-18ish). In my personal case, I thought I liked her but as a friend, only later to realise that well not as a friend oops :DDD The second thing (already not so funny) is that you actually consciously or unconsciously try to avoid the subject as much as possible, as long as possible and pretend that nothing is going on. We’re just bros. Stop doing this stupid gayish thing and don’t look at me like that, you’re annoying. If you ever do this again I (gently) kick you. I’m straighter than a straight line in my math textbook. IDK, but probably that’s your brain is somehow trying to protect you. Again, in my case&position I knew that the consequences for any non-straight person being outed would be bad (TW not to the point of being killed bad, but to the point of being excluded from a big part of society). So for me it was a mixture of the internalized homophobia + lack of self reflection + just being a bit emotionally slow + very! straight community around. Shit happens, I was a teenager and made my share of mistakes, but that experience helps me to recognize the same pattern of behaviour up to this day.   

So coming back to KM, because the post is already waaay too long and I just ramble. It’s been 2+ years for me being a part of this fandom, and what can I say... Things become more intense and eventful with every year passing by ;) Funny how I felt that vibe from the 2016 dance practice video. Seeing the Black Swan performance a week ago almost had me choked, no joking. They are amazing.

                                                    Pure Art

However, and I would like to emphasize that, I do not incline that KM are 100% romantically involved and/or gay or whatever. I tend to treat people with respect and not to make too much assumptions about their private life. That’s not my business. However, I’m also not a fan of heteronormativity, so I’m just sitting here and observe everything that’s going on putting some distance and not forgetting being generally polite and critical thinking. But if they are just straightest besties please give them an Oscar before Grammy

Anyways, I hope this blog won’t kick the bucket from the very start and I will post something every now and then. You can always ask me questions about some BTS/Jikook related stuff or something about Russia and a Russian view on mass culture topics, since I’m pretty sure some of you have very stereotypical view of what is going on here :) However, do note that I’ve never been to America or Europe, therefore I may not be aware of something verrrry obvious to you or just have a completely different experience. 

P.S.  And yeah, I’m used to say Jikook, since it’s the name which is used much more frequently in Russian.  i like it better and what will u do haha

#jikook #kookmin #what am i even doing here #i'm gonna regret this #long post

[lore-of-the-silvereyes-rwby]

The Hero that was never meant to be

I’m going to ask you guys a quick question. Think back to the volume 2 season finale in 2014. Or before Salem's debut. Once all of the antagonists are defeated and you're now left asking; Who's going to be the next antagonist for the series?

Before we proceed with this inquiry let's take a look at what exactly distinguishes a hero, from a villain.

Hero/Villain/Anti;who knows?

Below are multiple examples/definitions and meanings of heroes and villains as well as their anti sub groups.

Hero

a person who is admired or idealized for courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

the chief character in a book, play, or movie, who is typically identified with good qualities, and with whom the reader is expected to sympathize.

“a person of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his or her brave deeds and noble qualities." Heroes come in many forms in life, ranging from one's family and friends to athletes to movie stars. A person's heroes can change over time.

Villain

(in a film, novel, or play) a character whose evil actions or motives are important to the plot.

 a cruelly malicious person who is involved in or devoted to wickedness or crime; scoundrel. 

a character in a play, novel, or the like, who constitutes an important evil agency in the plot.

Anti-Hero

a central character in a story, movie, or drama who lacks conventional heroic attributes.

is 'a central character in a story, film, or drama who lacks conventional heroic attributes'. These missing attributes include idealism, courage, and morality. Anti-heroes can sometimes do the right thing, but it is usually because it serves their interests to do so.

Anti-Villain

is the opposite of an Anti-Hero — a character with heroic goals, personality traits, and/or virtues who is ultimately the villain. Their desired ends are mostly good, but their means of getting there range from evil to undesirable.

Now that we have some measure of clarity about this let's get to the point.  Basically Ironwood is a Anti-Villain character

If you think back to the things we have learned throughout the series, all the people we have met, you will find that all of Ironwood’s traits align better with Salem, Cinder, Jacques, and Adam.  All of them have this hunger for power and/or control, all of them are trying to protect themselves and increase their control.  

All of them use a level of manipulation and none of them really cared about the damage it would do to others.  Ironwood might be a little better because, at first, it was something he kind of thought about.  Kind of. He had trouble relating to the idea that protecting more was better than protecting less, and it seems that he had been struggling to find his heart since the beginning. 

Ironwood is a well intentioned and desperate man who wants to protect Atlas against Salem, but he can reach extreme means to do so. By the end of Volume 7, he's willing to abandon both Mantle to die and throw away humanity's best chance of survival by leaving Amity Tower; he also falls far enough to shoot a teenager for comparing him to Salem.

Going hand in hand with his Never My Fault tendencies. Ironwood hates anyone bringing up how his ways don't work, with extreme annoyance being the best reaction possible. It doesn't matter if someone is simply stating the objective tangible negatives of his actions, he will not hear it. He gets into a shouting match with Nora when she calls him out on how much damage he's doing to Mantle and only stops when she points out his proposed solution to deal with the current unrest (martial law) is just going to cause far worse problems if he goes through with it.

While he demands complete loyalty from others, Ironwood has repeatedly betrayed the trust of others in the name of the greater good. If someone is an obstacle to accomplishing what he believes is necessary, he will use political or even military power to enforce his will.

Ironwood has helped Ozpin fight Salem for years but they disagreed over the best way to defend Vale; Ironwood secretly convenes a meeting of the Vale and Atlesian councils to report Ozpin's behavior, resulting in Vale removing Ozpin from overseeing the Vytal Festival security in favor of Ironwood. Qrow later tells Ironwood that he has a strange idea of showing gratitude if he responds to Ozpin bringing him into the fight against Salem by betraying him. Even after being confronted, Ironwood insists that he had no other choice.

Ironwood spends most of Volume 7 promising that the Kingdom of Atlas is safe and that Mantle can count on him to protect them. However, when he discovers Salem is arriving in person to attack Atlas, he decides to abandon Mantle to the Grimm in favour of raising the floating city of Atlas higher in the atmosphere where the Grimm can't go. When Ruby tries warning her allies about Ironwood's plan, he disables her scroll, and has Teams RWBY, JNR, Oscar and Qrow arrested.

Ironwood's a man with good intentions, but he seems to believe the best way to handle any sort of situation is if he is in full control of it. This is seen as early as Volume 2, where he both brings a large fleet (composed mainly of machines) along with students for security and later has the Vale and Atlas Councils transfer security control of the Vytal Festival from Ozpin to himself. 

After the Fall of Beacon, James continues to tighten Atlas' defenses with a Dust embargo and closing of its borders, and by the time the heroes arrive in Mantle, there are broadcasts of the general practically saying that as long as they cooperate with his laws, he can and will keep them safe. 

As Salem's forces continue to sow discord and increase his paranoia, and when he discovers that Team RWBY has consistently hidden important information from him, Ironwood decides to invoke martial law and raise Atlas out of Salem's reach, under his control. When Ruby warns the others of his plans, he shuts off her call with his own Scroll.

Ironwood is noted for being a man who never gives up pursuing his vision of how people should be protected. When his attempts to convince Ozpin that they're on the wrong path fail, he convinces the Atlesian and Vale councils to override Ozpin's authority and give him direct control of protecting the Vytal Festival Tournament. 

In Volume 7, he is willing to pursue his goal of protecting the Kingdom of Atlas against Salem no matter how bad his public reputation becomes with the citizens.

To be clear Ironwood is an Anti- Villain type character in the RWBY story. He may have good intentions but it is unknown as to their extent of what they are. His methods to achieve those methods have only made things worse.

I couldn’t let you breath, cause I didn’t wanna Die

We all say we would die for something but do we actually mean it?

“I would die without regret I offer up my life”

It is hypothetical but not in the way you suggest. The difference between using would or will is not about whether the speaker is being disingenuous about their offer, it’s about whether the speaker knows if they are ever going to be in a position to fulfil their promise

It is hypothetical because the speaker does not know whether there will ever be a situation where they would be in a position to give their life to save you. If they were to use will, it implies they are anticipating that they will be in a position to give their life to save you 

When someone says “I would die for you if you need it,” is it just a hypothesis that's never going to happen,  the subject doesn’t want to die at all, otherwise they’ll use “will” instead of “would”?

Kill or be killed

All the weapons in rwby appeal to the audience as they have options when it comes to fighting. Ironwoods does not. His weapon is only designed to kill as a reflection of his inability to see reason. As opposed to other characters that show that when they kill it would be a last resort option.

(Think of the Jedi's preference for lightsabers instead of blasters)

Ironwood has a revolver  -  reliable, never jams. high attack power, similar to his mentality on robotics in general and how he values them focusing on the characteristics of the revolver is the important part, and you see it in another Atlesian character--Weiss Myrtenaster is a Rapier and a Revolver as well, and revolvers are still used nowadays because of their reliability. They'll never jam, and when it comes to a gun all that really matters is hitting the target on a pragmatic mindset at least, and ultimately in the show the weapons used by characters say a lot about them. For example;

Qrow has a scythe - not a weapon, a farmer's tool, alluding to the scarecrow. The actual weapon would be the sword mode, and is inspired by the grim reaper, who uses a scythe because he reaps souls like one would reap what was sown(or harvest)

Jaunes shield and sword are both offensive and defensive weapons which offers a variety of options as to handle conflict

Ozpin's cane symbolically conveys the message that it's okay to be weak and its normal to accept help and support from others

Yang's gauntlets are basically Bruise but don’t kill type weapon as such they give her  more control of the damage that is inflicted on her opponents

As ruby put it the Weapons in the show are an extension of the characters. The extent of Ironwoods weapon is that it conveys his blunt, and cold methods that he can’t or won’t embrace alternatives solutions or anyone else's ideas to problems

This can also be seen with his use of militarized Huntsmen and the use of mindless android soldiers. As I stated in I am power Ironwood’s personnel combat abilities are mediocre to non-existent with his true power stemming from the consent of the people to die for his cause instead of him since it's guaranteed that he will die instantly due to his lack of unique or special combat abilities. 

(Pretty self explanatory considering he had to sacrifice an arm to beat a nerd)

Fear of death is basic human instinct

Ironwood believes that he is this chosen savior and can’t die and he believes his life is more important than others and would instead sacrifice everyone else instead of him if it would mean victory

Now you're probably asking why does Ironwood not want to die when he said he would? As stated before he doesn’t trust anyone but himself to do the job right. His narcissism and ego prohibit him from trusting others and having faith that people besides him can win. 

This has been hinted as early as his debut in V2 where he asks Ozpin;

“Do you honestly believe that your children can win a war?”

Because of this and his Nihilism for rejecting the truth, he believes that he is the most important piece on the bored and everyone should listen and die for whatever he needs if it would mean victory

Ambitions and desires of a broken kingdom

A character without motivation is a really boring character as opposed to one who does. But to realize what their motivation is or what it is truly is another. Ironwood is no different but what exactly is his personal motivation that is unique to him one must wonder?

That's just it, he has no real personal motivation. Like what does he have to lose? What does he have to gain? What is so important that he is willing to go to such lengths that clash with the ideas of Ozpin and the heroes? To answer Atlas. After all, what is Ironwood without Atlas?

 It is important to know the effects of a characters home and origins to better understand a character's personality. Ironwood's plans have always been in line with Atlas, whose intentions are that of Ancient Mantle. Now what exactly are the intentions of the former capital that would live through Ironwood.

Atlas as I stated before is more or less a Technocratic Conservatives society led by Authoritative totalitarians with a focus of becoming an Extreme Militaristic Oligarchy that had originally started out as a Resource driven Empire out of necessity and without restriction 

To clarify, Ironwood is a byproduct, and enforcer of Mantle’s(later Atlas) Philosophical Ideology and Culture. The effects of one's origins can have a very lasting impact on one's life. Ironwood’s life has been heavily affected by his homeland to the point that he will die for it, and sacrifice whatever he deems necessary for it. 

Because of this Ironwoods alignment is that of Lawful Evil because of his Atlas ideology

A Lawful Evil character is an evil character who either tries to impose or uphold a lawful system on others without regard for their wishes, and/or adheres to a particular code. They believe in order, but mostly because they believe it is the best way of realizing their evil wishes.

In other words Ironwood will always be the loyal son of his Kingdom and will do anything to save it.

Now that clears his main motivation and the scale of what he is willing to do to achieve it but what motivates him personally?

Well that's just it there is none. His primary motivation is pretty shared by most of the heroes and main characters and as is the common clause of save the world stories everybody knows they can’t let that happen as peter quill would say;

“Why do you want to save the Galaxy?”

“Because I'm one of the idiots who lives in it.”

So with that in mind what's in it for him that he can’t lose or let the world be destroyed?

You overstepped your boundaries

To help understand his character it is important to understand what exactly his role in the plot was originally and how he ended up biting off more than he can chew when he broke away from it.

Essentially Ironwood was meant to be the overseer and guardian of the relic of creation as well as the trainer of the next generation of huntsman/huntresses. Meaning the only position of power that he should only have is Headmaster of Atlas academy. As I stated in I am machine Ironwood's heroism stems from a lack of trust and in doing so has burdened him with more responsibility than he can handle.

The catalyst 

All of the events and conflicts that plague remnant at the shows present can all be traced to Ironwood. An argument can be made for Salem but to me she seems more of an opportunist instead of an actual evil master mine. Being the opportunist she is she needs ammo for which she is otherwise incapable of making on her own. Thanks to Ironwood she has plenty of it to enact her plans and reach her goals 

Below is a list of events and conflicts as well as characters that have been affected by Ironwood

(Whether Directly or Indirectly)

The Schnee Dust Companies Immoral and shady practices

I know Jaques is mostly to blame for all of this but one must ask; Why didn’t anyone stop him before V7? 

It's already been established in the show that the S.D.C. and Atlas Military have a corporate alliance to mass produce Weapons and ammunition. The most prominent weapons to come out of this alliance was the paladin assault mechs. Now how important was this alliance to Ironwood?

In short, they are the best choice to provide for his needs for war. As long as he gets weapons and all that he needs to sustain a war he doesn't care what the giver has to do to meet his demand. As such Ironwood had enabled Jaques and allowed him to continue his immoral ways so long as he gets what he needs. On the other hand Jaques seems to be at least a decade older than Ironwood so there is a possibility that the corporate alliance has already been there long before Ironwood ever came to power.

But I ask again why didn’t Ironwood who was aligned with a man like Ozpin didn’t stop him? As the Volume 7 commentary stated Ironwood doesn’t care for Ozpin's rules and sees being efficient is more important than being morally good. Because of this Ironwood had been more focused on starting a war first and caring about people second thus he has only spread misery by enabling Jaques’s greed just to have his war. The crimes of the S.D.C. are also Ironwood’s 

The family strain of the Schnee family and Winters abandoning

While we’re still on the subject of the Schnee's let's talk about how essentially Ironwood made Winter the Blake to his Adam

As I stated before in “You had me with your words”  we don’t exactly know why Winter would be so loyal to Ironwood to the point of saying that her life doesn’t matter in V7 and why she would be so against her family to the point that she makes no effort to see Weiss, and Whitely included and only bothering to be apart of Weiss’s life only because she seems to be following the same path of defiance against their father. In other words she only chooses to interact with her sister only if she is rebelling against their father. If she is not, then Winter wants nothing to do with her. 

Now who or what exactly would cause Winter to have this unhealthy mindset in regards to her own personal existence and relationships?

The answer being Ironwood. 

If we were to consider Jaques words being serious than it is more than likely the truth. Ironwood did steal Winter, not just from her father but from the rest of her family. I don’t know what exactly Ironwood said or did to turn winter away from her family but it wasn’t out of the kindness of his heart. He did this  just to have a loyal subordinate with incredible power( her hereditary semblance) & status( her grandfather's legacy and accomplishments) just to give his power and status more legitimacy.

By doing so Ironwood made Winter  believe that her family as well as herself is beyond redemption due to the actions of her father thus leading her to abandon them and only believing Ironwood can redeem her hence why she values her life so little and is willing to die for whatever Ironwoods says.

I understand that winter joined the military to get away from her dad but she had options besides the military and like weiss she could have went to the other academies to get away from her dad but she didn't which i consider Winters greatest flaw is that she has no idea of an actual healthy relationship

The White Fang

This is also speculative but not unlikely as the show has clearly shown; Faunus and Atlas don’t mix. 

Same thing with the S.D.C. this can really be seen as indifference on Ironwood’s part and lack of care  but still Ironwood didn’t do anything to settle the racial inequality in Atlas even though he is allied in a secret circle that's supposed to keep the peace.

Especially when that inequality was being used to help legitimize a terrorist organization that can be used as a disposable army for Salem which it did.

Watts’s Defection & the P.E.N.N.Y. Project

Ironwood commissioned 5 scientists including Watts and Pietro to make Weapons for war.

Even though Watts is an egotistical bastard it really makes you wonder how someone as smart as him would work for a literal demon lady hell bent on conquest. The same can also be said about why he chose Penny instead of any other actual and practical projects ideal for war.

One thing to note is the possibility that Ironwood did not tell the 5 about the real reason as to why they’re making these weapons in the first place. For example would Pietro really want Penny the closest thing to an actual child that he may have had to be used as one of Ironwoods militarized assets?

We’ve seen what Pietro is like and that he really cares about Penny and if it were his choice Penny wouldn’t be in the situations that Ironwood would place her in. Ironwood had basically taken and drafted Penny without her or Pietro's consent and made her a tool for war and much more.

In semi canon sources(Amity Arena) the general consensus is that the Paladins were Watts’s idea and project. One of the misconceptions is that it was a contest for whose idea would be made but since we see both the Paladins being used and Penny that's not the case. All 5 projects were going to be used but only 1 would take top priority first before others and that project was Penny. 

This might actually explain why the paladins were ugly and incomplete in V2 as opposed to their slicker and finished versions in V3. The Penny project took both praise and priority first before the others. Once penny was finished the other projects would begin that may also explain why the Paladins weren’t first revealed until the events of V2 even though Pietro said that the commissions for the projects including the Paladins were almost a decade ago as of  V7 ep 7 

To Watts he felt insulted that his (to him) practical project was being postponed for a sad man's personal self indulgent pet project. This and due to not really knowing as to why these projects were going to be used for. Because of this and Ironwood’s lack of concern for people He had essentially driven Watts to Salem and made him one of her most valuable assets that she ever had. Salem herself even states that she should have employed his services years ago that alone tells us how valuable an asset Watts was and Ironwood discarded it. Which led to the fall of Beacon and the civil unrest in Mantle With Watts out of the way let's move to the next question

Why the Penny Project?

We all know at this point that Penny is the Pinochio for Pietro’s jopedo. So why would Ironwood approve a project that seems the least efficient and effective for war? There have been many theories as to why but two of them stand out the most; Potential vessel for the maiden powers and Espionage

It has been made clear that Ironwood has been readying for war against other people Salem specifically but how does one go about that? The first of which can be explained as Ironwood trying to make the ultimate artificial warrior with incredible power. As Ironwood has more faith in machines than people he would see Penny as the ultimate super soldier that he can use in his war

The second theory as to why he chose penny could be for spy and espionage purposes. As stated by cinder in volume 3 where this theory originates from; why would Atlas make a robot look like an innocent little girl? We know why Pietro made Penny look human but why would Ironwood go along with making a T800 complete with realistic skin and hair?  Besides Pietro there was no logical reason to make penny look as humanly as possible. Like the Terminators who were designed for infiltration and assassination missions and Ironwood being a paranoid individual who sees the world as one of two things; you’re either an asset or a threat / Penny or similar models would have been used to spy and eliminate potential threats in the other kingdoms. With the possibility as to what Ironwood would use penny for before her reveal in V3 clear let's move on to the last part of this bullet point

Why didn’t Ozpin know about Penny?

Prior to the truth of her origins being revealed via her death by Pyrah the only people who knew she was an android are cinder’s team, Ruby, Pietro, and Ironwood. The villains knew that truth after being fortunate enough to have Ironwoods scroll infected by the virus and Ruby found out by accident from penny. 

So officially the only people that were allowed to know the truth about Penny were Pietro and Ironwood. Winter and the Ace-opts don’t count as Volume 7 confirmed that they were brought into the fold after the fall of beacon along with penny so by the time of the fall of beacon they had no idea about salem or that was the sole purpose as to why penny was made.

 The same can be said for Watts too since Penny was still an idea being developed along with being assumed dead and not seen in atlas for years. Thus Watts never even knew what penny looked liked. Had he known i'm pretty sure he would’ve revealed that to Salem who would have given it to cinder for use in her mission. But as V3 shows Cinder finds out after getting access to Ironwood's personal scroll. Meaning that Ironwood kept Penny so secret that he never even bothered or considered to tell Ozpin.

By the end of PVP Ironwood sounded like a terrified child who got caught while trying to explain to a pissed off Ozpin about Penny only to be coldly told in a threatening tone to use the army that he brought to clean up his mess or else. That alone is proof enough from Ironwood that he never told Ozpin about Penny and was scared of what Ozpin would do to him for catching him on his secrets and lies.

So why didn’t Ironwood tell Ozpin about Penny? Short answer Ozpin would never approve the use of Penny. It was already established in V3 ep 6 that Atlas has been doing unethical experiments with Aura. Ozpin and most of the inner circle don’t really approve of such practices but can tolerate it  and use it if they have to. But most likely not to the extent of using it to make artificial living beings just to be soldiers.

This would be a similar moral dilemma as the clone troopers from star wars who were bred and mass produced at an accelerated rate to fight  in a war that they didn’t even understand or have a choice to fight in with the mindset and innocents of a child. The Umbara arc from season 4 of the clone wars series perfectly depicts the unhealthy amount of abuse the clones faced and the length of being taken advantage they were forced to endure

Now apply that to an army of pennies with the same childlike innocence and naivety and sentience being deployed into combat without much preparation and are expected to die just to buy time for the real heroes to win.

Now who is more likely to use a clone army without concern for the morality and ethics about making it let alone not care for the well being of those clones

A key important factor to remember is that until V7’s end Ironwood was pro war as he thought he could win against Salem if he had the largest army at his disposal. Penny was no exception and Ironwood only saw her as a potential part needed for his war machine. Because of the war centric views of Volume 2 & 3 Ironwood and lack of concern for the safety of others Ironwood had set the stage perfectly for volume 3’s finale

The Fall of Beacon

The points above actually help validate and contribute to the Fall of Beacon, but it's true Beginning for its fall started when Ironwood arrived at Beacon in Volume 2. As stated by Oz in Ironwoods first appearance Headmasters don’t usually attend the vytal festival with their students. Given what we now know about the importance of the academies, Ironwood pretty much abandoned his post and risked the safety of the relic under his charge.

All in what appears to be an effort to make a power grab against Ozpin and promote Atlas.(That’s probably speculative but not far off the bat given Ironwoods doubts and actions by the end of V2).Ever since his debut Ironwood has always been a character that contradicts the main characters that are suppose to be the heroes

He seems to only believe the best way to handle any sort of situation is if he is in full control of it. This is seen as early as Volume 2, where he both brings a large fleet (composed mainly of machines) along with students for security. Ironwood has helped Ozpin fight Salem for years but they disagreed over the best way to defend Vale; Ironwood secretly convenes a meeting of the Vale and Atlesian councils to report Ozpin's behavior, resulting in Vale removing Ozpin from overseeing the Vytal Festival security in favor of Ironwood. 

 Volume 2 also has Ironwood reveal to Glynda that he thinks Ozpin is hiding something from them. Glynda points out that he's part of the inner circle that's hiding things from the rest of the world and that he needs to stop talking about trust and learn how to trust others. Ignoring her advice, he secretly collaborates with the Vale Council to strip Ozpin of his control over the Vytal Festival security, then tells Ozpin to trust him.

This also brought up the possibility that Ozpin would be removed as Headmaster of Beacon academy. Not only was Ironwood willing to depose the leader he was following from his position of power but also remove an important ally from safeguarding one of the most important and crucial places in all of the world that also holds probably the most important relic of all of them(The Crown of Choice)  

I already talked about how Penny’s secret had contributed to the fall so I’ll be talking about how Watts contributed to it since I forgot to include in the last bullet point. Its a very small Easter egg but on Cinders scroll as she was rigging the vytal tournament for CVFY’s match and discovering Penny’s android nature there is a small cursive W at the corner of her scroll. The small W that Watts uses as a holographic icon when he calls Leo in V5. RT has said that they had WTCH in their back pocket for years until they were revealed taking that into account it is clear that the virus that infected Beacons CCT Ironwoods scroll and forcing the droid army to commit order 66 was made by Watts.

The virus and the cyber warfare aside the next final contribution on Ironwood’s part was the imprisonment of Roman Torchwick

It's pretty much been clear that Torchwicks' imprisonment was an improvised plan on the villains part to get an inside man aboard a warship. Basically it was like Heath Ledger's joker in the dark knight; he wanted to get caught. Torchwick himself said that he is where he wants to be to Ironwood at the end of V2. As V3 showed Torchwick and Neo took over what can be assumed to be Ironwood’s personal flag ship and used it to destroy the rest of the air naval section that was brought for the Vytal security team. 

This could have been avoided had Torchwick not been released into Ironwood's custody or at the very least kept somewhere else that should he escape he couldn’t have done so much damage. The Airships aside it was also possible that Roman had used the onboard artillery on the city as well that means that innocent civilians weren’t just being mowed down by hacked robots but being carpet bombed as well increasing the death toll at the fall of Beacon.

The Dust embargo and closing of borders

Since the fall of Beacon Academy, Ironwood has become increasingly unstable and paranoid, making more and more ethically questionable decisions that he repeatedly justifies as the greater good; by his own admission, he will do anything it takes to stop Salem. 

This however does not fare well with the rest of Remnant though.

As Atlas is the primary location for most of Remnants Industry as well as having a monopoly on Dust; Remnant’s most crucial resource that everyone needs in order to survive, the other  kingdoms rely heavily on Atlas for technology, resources and weapons. By placing an embargo he has cut off everyone in the world from their most valued resource. Though he did this to stop the enemies chain of supply he is still letting people suffer and die by with-holding the one thing they need to live and survive. 

Which brings us to the borders

Though it could have eased tensions after the fall of Beacon it just lasted too long as well as the fact that Ironwood had essentially turned his back on the world and refused to help the other kingdoms in their time of need. In the CFVY book spin-off all of the Beacon students either went to Haven or Shade academy to finish their training. As well as the Vale refugees going to other kingdoms as well. But due to Atlas closing its borders none of the students or the people went to Atlas for help. Basically due to Ironwood’s orders the Kingdom of Atlas was forced to not help the other kingdoms when they needed it the most.

And it has only gotten worse due to the events at Mistral in V5 as not only are the students of both Beacon and Haven going to shade, putting a strain on the academy but leaving the entirety of the worlds largest kingdom unguarded and undefended as it now lacks able huntsmen to protect it due to Ironwood’s refusal to help 

It should also be noted that when Ironwood closed the borders he had failed to inform any off his subordinates of who can and can’t enter the kingdom especially in regards to allies like Glynda or Qrow who again are allies against Salem and Ironwood made little to no effort in keeping contact with the other Oz members. This is made evident in V6 when the Argus soldiers refused to believe Qrow about being an ally to Ironwood. you could say that he was waiting on the amity project to make contact with the other members but  he had to have realized that they needed to get into atlas at some-point. But did he make it easy for them or any other ally to reach him? No he did not. 

The Mistral Huntsmen Genocide and the Battle of Haven

Second verse, same as the first, he had put them in a hearse. Another example of Ironwood’s indifference and hypocrisy that led to the death of allies and innocent people.

Due to the events of the Fall and it being broadcasted the enormous state of panic had spread throughout all of the kingdoms. The negative emotions in mass had attracted the Grimm and caused much havoc and loss throughout all of them and the worst to suffer from this mass hysteria was most likely Mistral due to its larger population and territory.

In V5 Lionheart had confirmed that Mistral losses were heavy and many of the local huntsmen including the Professors from Haven were killed in the initial grimm invasion that plagued Mistral following the fall of Beacon. After the initial panic had settled down the Mistral council had been employing Huntsmen in mass and restricted their activity to crucial and vital missions in high profile areas to ensure the safety and stability of the Kingdom.

Now the real question comes in where was Atlas?

In the world of remnants shorts  its confirmed that Mantle and Mistral have an alliance that eventually carried into Atlas. With that being said, where was Mistral’s ally during the fall out and what were they doing. We know in V5 that all Military Assets were recalled within the month prior to the battle of Haven. I know that the kingdoms are weary of Atlas at this point but given the state of the world after the fall, Mistral needed all the help they could get. As such Mistral would have to call upon the old alliance and have them honor their word and offer aid. 

Or at the very least transfer some assets over to Mistral to use it as needed. We have the base in Argus sure but that was just a forward border control base  that didn’t really help anybody. Prior to the recalling Ironwood had Winter gather intel on potential activity that would lead to a second fall of a huntsmen academy and he chose to do nothing. This is further proof of his hypocrisy and arrogance. Ironwood at this point is reading the military for war and with holding aid and support that was actually needed. 

His V4 self is a stark contrast to his V2&3 self as that version of himself was willing to manipulate and intervene in the affairs of other nations under the assumption that the ends justify the means and would see himself above the rules so long as it's for the greater good and stop the threat before it can escalate. That was exactly what Ironwood did at the end of V2 by stealing power from Oz and tried to enforce his own set of rules if it would prevent a disaster.

Now why did Ironwood not do the same thing with Mistral and try to prevent the potential fall of its academy regardless of the bad publicity that it would warrant? It's already been said by Ironwood that he doesn’t trust Leo to handle the situation at Mistral and based his dissection to close the borders on Winters report and decided to prepare for an potential attack on Atlas rather than sending a small task force to handle the threat at Mistral. 

Taking into consideration his plan for Amity it's quite possible that he wanted Leo to fail and Mistral to be ready to eat from his palm. In other words unless there is something to gain and benefit from he’s not going to do it.

Ironwood all the way till he was told the truth about Salem in V7 had a War is the Answer mentality and was hoarding everything and anything that would help sustain a long campaign as well as increasing the size of that force with the intent that  that the large numbers were enough to intimidate Salem and her faction into surrendering and eventual destruction. The only problem is that the people he needs were born in a time of relative peace.

Because of the 80 year age of peace that followed the Great War the Modern world of Remnant has had zero to no conflicts as large or damaging since that one war. There were small conflicts sure like the faunus war, the White fang terrorist cell, and the criminal underworld but they weren’t that much or a threat or concern to a majority of remnant it wasn’t until the Fall of Beacon that the foundation of this peace was shaken so intensely that the cracks started to show but it was still together if only held by a thread.

With the Peace in mind and the peoples faith still with the huntsman as their distrust for Atlas Military lingers no one in the world of remnant outside of Atlas would have any motivation or desire to mobilize for war let alone a war for a foreign leader of a foreign land that has recently come under suspicion. Ironwood was never going to be able to unite the Kingdoms and mobilize their people for his war after the fall of Beacon with Atlas being painted as the bad guy. Unless the situation went from worst to extreme.

Like if another academy were to fall with the same or greater results like Beacon. Then maybe people all around the world would consider following Ironwood’s lead and wipe out the threat before things can get even worse.

Because of this Ironwood had allowed Mistral and possibly the other Kingdoms to exhaust themselves so much that they would be unprepared for the next major Grimm invasion should they come after the next major hysteria induced panic. Panic like Ironwood’s original plan to unite the world and tell them about Salem causing the kingdoms to fall into further disarray only to be saved by the flying grace of Ironwood and his Military. And the only repayment for his help is that you join his fight.

I know this is all speculative and you can say Lionheart was the one who was responsible for mistrals problems after the fall, but remember Leo was the only Faunus on the council of a racist kingdom and only had one seat over the huntsmen and can only give out and approve mission assignments that would get them killed thus he had no real authority or power in Mistral  besides siding with the majority and even if he tried to talk the council into refusing Ironwoods help their racism wouldn’t listen to Leo and they would do the opposite and call for aid. 

But again Ironwood prior to the fall was willing to stop the threat at its source regardless of politics. But after the fall he had put all of his focus on preparing for war instead of helping people that needed his help at that moment. This may be due to his semblance(still dumb BTW) but ultimately he was focusing on his own needs first than the needs of others. Because of this he had ignored the issues of Mistral and failed to see the truth of what Lionheart was doing and had allowed Most if not all of the well trained and experienced huntsmen of that kingdom to die leaving the kingdom defenseless and unprepared for any conflict that would come.

 Like the Battle for Haven for example. Had Ironwood not recalled everyone back and had Winter and whatever Atlas personal that were with her its quite possible that the battle may never had happen, the truth about leo would have been discovered sooner and the genocide of Mistrals huntsmen wouldn’t have been as bad had Ironwood actually chose to help, Instead he  started to fall back and focus on the Amity Project and Atlas instead of spending any resource outside of them, due to a narrow focus to and putting everything on it just so he can have his Victory.

The Civil unrest in Mantle

A loved and respected leader will die by the side of his people: A feared and hated one will die by their hand. Short term closing the borders cloud have helped ease tensions between Atlas and the rest of the world but long term it had made things worse

Due to the fall of Beacon it's quite possible the initial attacks that came after can explain why Mantle's defensive wall was so destroyed and ruined by the time of V7. That means that potentially for almost over a year that wall has had no repairs or maintenance  and has had the bare minimum leaving the citizens in a state of constant peril and danger since the fall of beacon

This is further made worse when Ironwood closed off the borders and cut off the chain of supplies and trade not only to Atlas but also to Mantle as well making the kingdom suffer more than it had to. As the original capital, the rise of Atlas reduced Mantle to a shadow of its former self. Streets are run-down, technology is old, security defenses haven't been updated in years, and smog from the mines hangs heavy over the city. People struggle to eke out an existence, depend on dangerous mines for work and experience regular Grimm attacks that the city increasingly struggles to repel. Meanwhile, Atlas hangs in the sky above their heads; a constant reminder of the wealthy elite that is failing to share the wealth that Mantle creates, and a target of Mantle's growing resentment and anger at having been left so far behind.

Ironwood who is again allied with and a member of a secret circle that is supposed to keep the peace and prevent any social unrest that can cause a conflict.  Thus he should have tried to ease the tensions and made the conditions of Mantle better in order to maintain peace. Now I know it's not solely Ironwood’s fault for the state that Mantle is in as he hasn’t been in a position of power for long but still he should have focused on the people instead of preparing for a war that may have never come. A stark contrast to Ozpin’s way of preserving peace and handling threats

Because of his narrow focus and indifference he made things worse as he was only focusing on potential threats that have yet to come instead of focusing on the issues and preventing them before they escalated. After the fall, the embargo and closing of Borders Ironwood concerned himself with preparations for an assumed winnable war instead of trying to restore peace and keep the people on his side. Which is ironic as he was doing this to rally a large force and stop the threat but did not consider that he may have been pushing away potential troops and allies that he would have needed. And only stoked the people's frustrations 

This is mostly due to Ironwood never giving an estimate of time for how long the embargo and the borders would last as well as not giving a clear and believable reason as to why he was doing all of this in the first place. I know he was going to tell Mantle and the world about Salem eventually and he did in V7 but that was only because he was forced to and used it to take out potential threats by baiting them. This is also added with the fact that he really didn’t have any solid proof that would make the people believe him about Salem as well. Due to the frustration of the people it would just sound like made up propaganda and Ironwood shifting blame onto a fake enemy to drive people's attention onto something else. And yes the people believed it but remember they were being evacuated so i don’t think they were buying Ironwood's statement but were just glad that they were being saved.

And in the end it doesn’t even matter as ultimately Ironwood caved in to fear and decided to leave Mantle for dead. Which could have been avoided had Ironwood focused his attention to the needs of people rather than the needs of war. One of the constant themes of the show is that victory is not in strength or in mass numbers but within the small and willing hearts of those that will fight no matter what.

In conclusion Ironwood had played a pivotal role in contributing to all of the conflicts that plague the world of Remnant at present, even if it were minor role he nonetheless helped set the stage for the villains and Salem   

The reason why I say that; as stated in earlier sections: Despite all of his talk about the greater good for the world he really means the greater good of Atlas and by extension himself. He is prioritizing his kingdom above all else at the expense of the other kingdoms and exploits of their people for his kingdom's own personal gain. As well as with holding beneficial technology that could actually benefit and improve the living conditions and way of life of the other kingdoms.

Ironwood’s inability to trust and have faith in people and others to keep the peace ultimately led to him intervening in affairs that he had no right to and with his own belief that his way is what is best had caused the Fall of Beacon and the events and conflicts before and after it.

It was over before it started

Now the Question must be asked what was Ironwood’s plan?

Ironwood throughout the series believed that he could win against Salem, and by the end of volume 7 he still believed that he could win, but in reality he had already lost the moment he tried to start a war.

To quote Ruby as she asked Ozpin: what was Ironwood’s plan to stop Salem if he ever had one to begin with? As far back as Volume 2 to Volume 7 Ironwood’s ideas and plans to handle Salem seemed to be; gather a large force, blitz run her stronghold, and destroy her with WMD’s. Most of his plans stem from an appeal to force and intimidation tactics via large numbers with heavy armament. In any other circumstances this could have worked had it been a different kind of villain that wasn’t immortal. As V6 has revealed Salem can’t die through traditional means such as modern warfare thus making Ironwood’s plans and solutions moot and pointless. Once he is told the truth in V7 he still continues down the same path of thinking that has not only failed but enabled the villains goals as well. So it must be asked why does Ironwood not see that his way is flawed and that he was never going to win if he continues down this path?

 Ironwood's numerous conflicts throughout the series occur because he feels he does not need to follow the standards he sets for others; He demands people trust him while showing them none in return. He forces others to sacrifice much for the cause while giving up very little in return. He insists on loyalty when he has turned on others solely because they disagreed with him.

As Volume 7 progresses, he becomes willing to commit increasingly dubious actions in order to oppose Salem. He starts off by imposing a military embargo on Mantle despite the economic hardships said embargo is causing for the civilians on the ground and diverting resources that Mantle needs to rebuild its infrastructure to build a comm tower at Amity Colosseum. By the end of the volume, he's degenerated into declaring full martial law, abandoning Mantle to die, and either attacking or having arrested anyone who opposes him.

Salem and her faction were a tumor that can only be handled with the surgical precision of a scalpel not with the bulk of a fleet or large armies. The Huntsmen were that scalpel and to be specific the Huntsmen that Oz had chosen as they were meant to protect all people and prevent conflicts without personal bias or desire. Ironwood only acted in the self interest of Atlas and the benefits that he would gain from it

Ozpin’s priority had always been the people, no matter where they came from. However, I think he was once in Ironwood’s shoes.  I am pretty sure he tried everything, including the same things Ironwood did, and saw it fail horribly. Ozpin or at least the soul, has had centuries to millennia's of experience in fighting Salem and managing the world. The delicacy of the human mind and heart are something he is well acquainted with, and I think he already knew what type of person Ironwood was, or at least was becoming.  Near as I can tell, the big reason he kept Ironwood on at this point was because Ironwood had the resources and technology he needed to keep his plan moving forward and wouldn’t relinquish them.

Ozpin worked hard to maintain the peace and goodwill of the people.  Ironwood, so far, has not.  Having robot sentries on every corner without the concept of morals and stopping trade for a kingdom that can not easily generate its own resources, as well as hoarding those resources and preventing necessary repairs and aid to those people–those actions all show that he is not keeping this important aspect of leadership. He is not making sure that the people are on his side so when he needs them because he does not consider their needs as important unless they are in line with his own

Even with the Knowledge of the truth of Salem’s immortality he is still sacrificing everyone and everything else for nothing just to keep up the illusion that he is the hero and to keep his source of power high in the clouds away from anyone who really needs it

I may have been a little harsh on Ironwood for his actions, especially V7 and I understand the circumstances that led to escalation by the end of the volume.  He was making dubious decisions but he was trying to do better, he listened at times and tried to show an extension of trust, the kids with giving them the lamp back, and later with Robyn at the dinner. These were due to the positive influences of Oz.  He just fell back to old habits hard and turned to extremes when it became clear he had non control of what was happening by V7 end. He was struggling with old habits and opening up and was doing better that first part of the night a prime example of what the creators meant if Ironwood had been more open and trusting of others but when everything went down he was pushed over the edge in the latter half of the night cementing his fall and decent into an antagonist further making the problem worse as he has always done. This is mostly due to his primary source of influence; Atlas (which we can agree has been the biggest source of conflict in the show so far) and probably his lack of understanding and planning for what comes after all is said and done.

What did you think would happen?

The question must be asked; What happens after Salem? The fandom has pretty much each their own idea of what might happen after Salem is finally defeated. But do the characters know what happens after the war especially Ironwood? As the end of the hero’s journey goes; Nothings the same after you become a hero. And given Ironwood’s behavior and actions before his fall in Gravity, Ironwood seemed to have ambitions and plans in the works for the long run after Salem was no longer a threat. As stated before in I am Machine no one is truly altruistic to the point that they do something that doesn’t benefit them. So what exactly did Ironwood want after Salem was gone to the point that most if not all his actions and decisions were in the effort to reach and make those plans come true?

As stated in Broken Kingdom Ironwood doesn’t really have any personal desires or motivations that aren’t related to Atlas or the Heroes common goal to stop Salem. As far as we can tell Ironwood has no current family members at present and there's very little that tells us that he has anything in mind outside of either Atlas or Salem ,so what does Ironwood have to gain from this conflict?

All hail the conquering Hero

Ironwood’s biggest issue is that he has to be the center of everything, that he has to be in control. First he’s going to try and gain control with his army, while trying to wrangle anyone else back under his control. Then, when it becomes clear that anyone who has a plan that better and could work, he’s going to get competitive, come up with new and crazy superweapons to throw against the enemy in an attempt to prove that he can defeat Salem before the heroes can gather allies from across Remnant. He believes that He is strong, that He is brave, that He doesn’t need to run to anybody for help! He believes that he is the hero and is letting his self entitlement cloud his mind and it has gotten the better of him

 An In-Universe example of this false belief comes from RWBY: Amity Arena as it  gives bios to every character in the game compiled by the In-Universe developers. While many try to be objective, the ones representative of the Atlas Elite tend to demonstrate a notable bias, most prevalent with the General's. His bio is very defensive of him, calling him the "hero of our time" and that he wears the burden of the world on his shoulders, talking him up as a Hero with Bad Publicity. The bio goes as followed;

General Ironwood. The hero of our time and Atlas' greatest protector. Under the general, we have advanced to incredible heights, discovered new technologies, and created the world's first artificial intelligence. Though horrifyingly revealed at Amity Arena, Penny is our proud foray into sentient AI, and Ada is the culmination of the machine learning we have long developed in our labs.

As reviled as he was for his misguided attempt to protect Vale, how can the world fault our General when the culprits are out there? How can the victims be blamed for the sins of the perpetrators? Is incompetence somehow a greater sin than premeditated evil? Our General may have failed to protect Beacon, but he's not the one that hacked our weapons into hurting the innocent.

Yet... he wears that burden on his shoulders like he is alone in the world...

Ozpin, missing. Lionheart, dead. Theodore, uncertain. We say Atlas is the greatest, the mightiest... the city in the clouds, but what is first place when there is no competition? Yet, our kingdom and our General... we're the best chance that humanity's got... which scares us to death.

Menagerie?

...what about it?

After reading that you can probably see through the propaganda, hypocrisy and ego that are written in the bio. A key factor to note is that this was possibly made after the main heroes arrived in Atlas and before the election night. And since there's been no contact or travel between the kingdoms and Ironwood was aware of Leo's status by worst case scenario  it tells us that the heroes have shared everything with Ironwood in regards to those events concerning Haven.

 Since Ironwood is looked up to as a god by his subordinates and since he was the one of the only few to have known about them as well as to have the status to make any key choices since the app is made by atlas scientists contracted to the military. Thus Ironwood had used it and the blind loyalty of his loyalists to make propaganda and shift the blame from himself to something else as well as try to emotionally manipulate the people by making them sympathize with him while ignoring the truth.

He is not Remnant's only hope nor is he the best choice.

This is another example of his never my fault montra and he does things right and its further shown in the bio as it not only continues to discredit the other Headmasters(I am well aware of leo) but ignores all the good and actual heroism of other people like the Faunus of Menagerie as they are to the primary reason as to why Haven didn’t become the next Beacon and as stated before in an earlier section the opportunity for the Battle of Haven was in a way created by Ironwood who had chosen to flee and protect his city instead of preventing an attack like he had originally intended with Vale.

It may also show how much Ironwood believes in his own hype as it does paint him as some sort of de facto king of Atlas. Again he views himself as the chosen savior of the chosen people and that it is his destiny to rule and change the world as he sees fit. Or as Watts puts it the Giant that stands above all

I’m the Captain now

I think it's safe to say that almost everything he does is a twisted version of Ozpin's ways as well as to place himself as Remnant's ultimate leader as he believes he is the one that can ensure a safe and secure world. Ever since his debut he has undermined everything that Ozpin has done and stood for because he believes his ways aren’t efficient ( Or beneficial) to him and has been systematically taking power and control away from him and placing himself as the new big good.

He wants to be the New warrior king and change the world as he sees fit as he only sees Ozpin as either a failure or a hindrance to him and his plans. Combine that with his Atlas ideology and a lot of things make sense. I mentioned in the False chosen one that Ironwood may have been influenced and tried to emulate the Warrior king as to better rise and gain power and correct the supposed mistakes of Ozpin. Even though that he has claimed to be doing it for the greater good of all of Remnant but  he really means only Atlas and himself

A world Reborn in my image

A major factor to consider is that Ironwood is a by-product of Atlas that was a by-product of Ancient Mantle. Ironwood is essentially a living mouthpiece for Atlas. He pretty much the living embodiment of the kingdom if it were a character. That's the sad truth of Ironwood is that he is simply an extension of this toxic environment and tricked into believing that its this ideal society when  in truth it never was.  In other words a legacy of tyranny lives on through Ironwood

We’re all aware of the origins of Atlas and its rise to prominent power. It started out as Mantle that began with a handful of people that prospered by adapting to the harsh conditions by making advanced technology faster than the rest of the world. It eventually formed a trade  alliance with Mistral trading tech for food. A grimm  incident occurs and Mantle thought being cold emotionless robots was a perfect solution. It tried to force its toxic ideology onto other civilizations and was met with mixed results. The Great war happens they lose and all of their resources are spent forcing it to rebuild its economy that eventually gives way to Atlas

Now how does this affect Ironwood?

Well Mantle through its alliance with ancient Mistral possibly adopted their ideals of imperialism and expansion as Mistral was the world's largest territorial economic empire of its time. When it comes to the rise of an empire and the type they are as well as their need for expansion it can be summed up to these 3 

Economic empire

Ideological empire

Territorial empire

Due to Mantle's lack of essential resources like food and energy, its early days were more or less focused on establishing a strong economic trade empire in order to get the essential supplies needed to sustain life in solitas. After its great depression period after the War the kingdom's economy began to grow at a rapid rate that by the time the kingdom shifted to Atlas it had Remnants largest economic empire.

This is also an important factor to consider since the sad truth of it all is that as long people can make a stable income and support themselves, they are more than likely to turn a blind eye to any shady or immoral activities so long as there's something to gain. What does this have to do with Ironwood you ask? Well as his bio card said Ironwood has pretty much been proclaimed as the kingdoms benefactor for its prosperity. This may have been due to his Corperate alliance with The Schnee’s since it was Mostly Nicolas and Jaques as far as we know being the most prominent reason as to why Atlas has prospered. 

When Ironwood formed that alliance with the SDC it gave him at least half of the power and influence of the company that was truly responsible for the kingdom's wealth and claiming it as his own. Once he had gotten some control over the economy it was time to move onto the next step and increase the empire from economic to Ideological or Political expansion.

Empires change and adapt in order to satisfies their needs now that Ironwood is the de facto head of that empire and given what we know about him and Atlas it is quite possible that he has been indoctrinated to have this desire to create an empire for Atlas as the politics and ideologies of its people have given it a false sense of entitlement and need to have everything under their control.

When looking at it from V1 to V3, it looks as if Ironwood was trying to occupy without resorting to force then you're left asking the real questions like "Why is ironwood selling the people of Vale on Atlas military Technology?" "Why is it that when a breach happens in vale, Atlas Bots rush in?" "Why did Ironwood make a power play to become the security of the Vytal Tournament?" It all seems to point to the same thing, Ironwood wanted control over Vale

A section of Lyrics from the song “When it Falls” may help reveal Ironwoods true intentions since his introduction and to be honest they seem relevant only to him and given his actions this is mostly likely the truth as they go like this; 

“They play the part of allies

Claiming peace their only goal

But once the fight for power starts

They'll eat each other whole

Their iron gloves point fingers

They'll wage a war of blame

And mankind will wilt in pain”

As of V7 aren’t those words mostly relevant to Ironwood? After all, what has he done recently? He claims to be an ally with intentions of peace but he’s really trying to control those who buy that lie and escalates the situation to the extreme for no logical reason other than to set the stage for the next part in relation to the lyrics.

After all is said and done the fight for power will start and he wants to win and consume everyone before they can consume him. And as things go wrong he points his metal hands blaming everyone but himself as he tries to gain control and power, the world suffers.

Ever since his debut he has been trying to amass  Political power which would lead to a territorial empire under Atlasian control. Playing into the theory that he does want to be a better version of Oz he wouldn’t make the same mistakes that he assumed the king  did by letting the kingdoms remain independent instead of being under the control of one.

A king has his reign and then he dies

To continue on with the theory that he is essentially a bastardized version of Oz, Ironwood may have been trying to find ways as to make himself immortal 

Another reason as to why he would see Ozpin as inferior is due to the fact that for all his power he can’t stop himself from dying, or at least maintain the same amount of world power and status from his last life. This may have given Ironwood ideas and ambitions to pursue any methods that may yield results that may make him a true immortal version of Oz hence why he most likely authorized the research and development of the aura transfer technology as a means to artificial reincarnate till proper immortality was achieved.

This could also be another reason as to why he may have chosen the Penny project. As it could lead to a way of extending his life as a means of transhumanism; immortality through technology

To reiterate Ironwood doesn’t trust anyone to do things right so he micromanages everyone under his control and makes them dependent on him. This is best seen with Winter and Clover as Winter would side with a madman as opposed to siding with her sister and clover’s inability to think for himself led to his death. 

Due to his lack of faith in people Ironwood makes them less independent and make them rely on him as  he may believe if everyone is dependent on him then the more control that he will have over them as to better determine who is a threat as the people he controls are more or less robots now without a conscious or sense individuality and are less likely to commit evil acts. Similar to ancient Mantle’s anti life policies before the war.

If he believes that to be the case and since he only trusts himself to see it through he’s going to try and find ways to make him live as long as possible until his methods become autonomous. Because of his lack of faith for others Ironwood doesn’t understand or refuses to understand the fact that he is going to die one day and everything that he has ever accomplished will be undone by the ultimate victor; TIME.

This is sadly the likely outcome as everything changes through the passage of time. As time moves so does the advancement of decay upon the world. Ironwood is already dying by aging and all that he has achieved will be undone or outdone by others that will come after him. The same thing can be said for everyone else in the show as they already lost. 

Ruby, Oz, Cinder, even Salem herself have already lost to time. Everything they have or will achieve will be undone as well and one day they will all die. It’s just a matter of how and when. 

To better explain let's take a look at Epsilon’s final speech from RVB season 13;

“There are so many stories where some brave hero decides to give their life to save the day, and because of their sacrifice, the good guys win, the survivors all cheer, and everybody lives happily ever after. But the hero... never gets to see that ending. They'll never know if their sacrifice actually made a difference. They'll never know if the day was really saved. In the end, they just have to have faith.”

Does Ironwood have faith in anyone that's not under his control? 

People only do wrong when the perceived benefits outweigh the cost in that moment. Ironwood doesn’t just see an opportunity to stop Salem he also sees an opportunity to bring the world under Atlasian control with him at the top. Since he has amassed so much power and authority he sees himself above the rules that everyone respects and follows. Because of this Ironwood tries to hold unto that power because without he is nothing and would become a lesser and weaker being which would be an affront to his perfectionist ideologies

If your nothing without it then you don’t deserve it

Take away Ruby’s Silver eyes and what is she? Someone that will continue to fight no matter what

Take away Atlas from Ironwood and what is he? Nothing but a broken man who had this coming for a long time.

As I stated in I am power Ironwood by himself has nothing to contribute to the fight against Salem. Let's face it the only thing that he had going for him was the fact that he lead the Military and as we later find out that Military isn’t going to be useful against Salem since the key concept of the show since V1 was that there is no victory in strength but in the simpler things in life that start with simple and honest souls. 

How does this concern Ironwood? 

Well that's just it Ironwood was never going to win with his methods and he was never going to get the benefits that he wanted if he followed someone else with theirs. Again Ironwood had plans and ambitions after Salem that saw him as the ruler of the world instead of her, and controlled it so that a threat like her or any threat to his power would never come again. This is probably what he thought would happen before being told of her immortality. 

Now with the knowledge that he can’t destroy her and that she’s coming he decides to cut his losses and settle with ruling the city instead and leave the rest of the world in her mercy instead of accepting the fact that he is wrong and relinquishing power to someone that can handle the situation better. Remnant doesn’t need Ironwood to survive. This is the biggest problem with Ironwood that he thinks he is the hero so long as he is in control of Atlas. Because without it he is truly nothing and has defined his whole existence around it. And will continue to make whatever plans to keep himself in power and is willing to pay the price at the expense of others.

“What if all the plans you made,

Were not worth the price they paid?

Even with the lives you stole,

Still no closer to your...

Goal.”

He never cooled the fire but he still incites the crowd for he can't see what he has  become a crown with no kingdom

Ironwood had only played to win and he would laugh at the ones who lose while millions are shouting out for him to stop but he Still lit the fuse

He says he wants to fight but Then he always runs because he doesn't want to die yet he Still shoots the loaded gun escalating things for the worse

His refusal to see the faults in his own actions. Ironwood continually defaults to and relies on methods and actions that have repeatedly been proven to not work because he refuses to see the error in using said methods to begin with.

This isn’t your story James

One of the important aspects to remember is that this isn’t Ironwood’s story. His entire character and story revolves around the main protagonists and how he interacts with them and more importantly what role he played in it. Ironwood started out as a side character that ended up getting a lot of focus because the story of  Team RWBY and the show in general is to show how the last generation can fail the next and how that generation has to learn and grow so it can avoid the mistakes of the past. 

Before we delve further into Ironwood’s true character in the show let us explore whether or not he was an antagonistic or protagonistic force in the story. Keep in mind these terms are different from hero and villain. Below are several definitions and meanings for the 2 narrative characters types;

Antagonist

a person who actively opposes or is hostile to someone or something; an adversary.

a person who is opposed to, struggles against, or competes with another; opponent; adversary. the adversary of the hero or protagonist of a drama or other literary work

Protagonist

the leading character or one of the major characters in a drama, movie, novel, or other fictional text.

an advocate or champion of a particular cause or idea.

In modern literature, the protagonist drives the story forward by pursuing a goal. 

The protagonist of a story is sometimes called the main character. 

Since this is RWBY’s story and to an extent Oz’s, Ironwood(and Atlas to an extent) was always meant to be an antagonistic force in opposition to the show's true ideals of  heroism and saviors. 

The antagonist is the principal source of conflict for the protagonist. Often, the antagonist is a bad guy, a villain, but he doesn't necessarily have to be. He may just be someone who has a different agenda. Antagonists might be one person, a group, or even an animal.

Due to the beliefs that his methods are for the best even though they contradict the intentions that were thought to be shared by the heroes Ironwood was always going to become an Antagonist for the series at some point

Volume 7 slowly sees him fall into this, as his paranoia and determination to stop Salem cause him to perform increasingly questionable decisions for the greater good. While Qrow, Oscar, and Teams RWBY and JNPR support Ironwood, they increasingly debate the merit of doing so, given how concerned they're becoming with his behavior. When Cinder breaks into his office and plants a black queen, Ironwood sends Winter to forcefully take the Winter Maiden's powers, and he begins to question every decision he's made and speculate whether he's played right into Salem's hands. His confrontation with Team RWBY over their decision to leak intel to Robyn triggers the appearance of a Seer Grimm, forcing him into a verbal confrontation with Salem. With the discovery that the conflict with Watts and Tyrian distracted them from realizing they'd lost long-range sensors and that Salem is already on her way to Atlas, Ironwood snaps. He orders the arrest of Qrow, Oscar, and Teams RWBY and JNPR, and decides to abandon Mantle to die in an effort to prevent the two Relics and the Winter Maiden from falling into Salem's hands. Volume 7 ends with him and the protagonists actively opposed to each other, as his refusal to acknowledge that his methods are flawed and his opposition towards anyone who might stand in his way solidifies him as an antagonist.

The events of Volume 7 slowly but surely tear away at the positive aspects of his character as he succumbs to fear and paranoia, and questions whether Salem's strength comes from her ability to strip away her humanity. By the end of the volume, he has degenerated into a paranoid tyrant who abandons Mantle in favor of saving Atlas, is willing to kill a dying Winter Maiden to protect the Relics from Salem, and arrests the heroes for disagreeing with him. At the end of the volume, Oscar even points out that Ironwood's actions and current mentality make him no better than Salem.

 His character deconstructs the mindset of the Necessary Evil character archetype. He declares his willingness to sacrifice his reputation and humanity for the greater good by forcing others to sacrifice for his cause. Characters constantly question the morality of his choices and his own actions create consequences that later bite him in the ass. His lack of concern over his image and the negativity his actions generate serve only to assist Salem's plans and increasingly alienate him from the heroes. He appoints himself the judge of what counts as the "greater good", he neglects Mantle's security and makes it increasingly vulnerable to attack by viewing it as less important than Atlas. Oscar lampshades the deconstruction by pointing out that being willing to sacrifice all of Remnant just so "a few can live" is making him just as dangerous a threat as Salem.

In a way Salem and Ironwood are also foils to each other as they appear to be dark lords from their respective genres 

Ironwood being the syfy equivalent clad in white to convey the false message of order and peace while masking evil intentions and crimes 

Salem being the Fantasy equivalent clad in black to emanate a sense of Mystery and fear of the unknown while using it to her advantage

Discussed between Ironwood and Oscar. Ironwood spends Volume 7 utterly haunted by how Leo's fear of Salem destroyed him and endangered Mistral and Haven. He is so determined not to end up like Leo, that he doesn't realize what mistakes his own fear of Salem is causing. While Leo completely submitted to Salem and became her puppet, he has full self-awareness and knows exactly how far he's fallen and why. Ironwood cannot accept that he has any fear of Salem at all and interprets the problem as possessing "humanity". He believes Salem is a threat because she has none and speculates that the solution is to become the same. He becomes increasingly controlling over his kingdom and his allies; regardless of how much suffering his methods cause, he persists in believing it's for "the greater good". While Leo is willing to give up the Relic of Knowledge and his kingdom's Huntsmen, Ironwood is so determined to prevent Salem getting the Relics, his Huntsmen and the Winter Maiden, and thereby avoid Leo's mistakes, that he travels in the opposite direction, becoming a dangerous authoritarian instead of a spineless coward.

Ironwood has made it clear that he will use whatever means necessary to defeat Salem. When Team RWBY calls out his decision to raise Atlas out of Salem's reach, he calmly says he's aware that he is essentially damning Mantle to her wrath. He later tells Oscar that he is done letting others' opinions hold him back from doing what he thinks is right. The boy warns him that he'd become as dangerous as Salem herself like that; the general simply nods to himself but doesn't deny it.

This is who he has always been. The only difference is the more desperate he becomes, the more extremes he goes to to maintain the illusion he is strong and in control of the situation.

During Ozpin's speech, notice how this unique line of dialogue is purposely inserted over Ironwood's last scene of  Volume 7.

“Or will the person staring back at you be the very thing you should have feared from the start? I suppose we all find out... sooner or later.”

As the other parts of the speech are relevant to the other characters shown in the montage This specific line cements the Truth of Ironwood's character being a threat that was planned for a very long time. Going with the show's themes of Grey morality and the balance of light and dark, we are to learn of the possibility that with the potential to do great good also comes with the potential to do great evil. 

As we were focused on the obvious threats in the show like the grimm, the white fang, Cinder, and Salem we are tricked to neglect the obvious signs of evil intent that are hidden and growing  among the heroes. The real monsters of the world aren’t the ones with fangs and red eyes hiding under your bed, No the real monsters of the world look just like you and me. After all if we assume everyone is like us then how can we tell who the real monsters are, that are hiding in plain sight. 

Ironwood’s evil nature and antagonism  was subtle and growing under the skewed perception that he was the hero and that he was right. But this comes down to the fact that he is only in it for himself and what he has to gain from it. 

I understand that James Ironwood was a tragic character even from his introduction, and the seeds for his volume 7 turn were planted in volume 2. I eventually recognized that RT was setting up this pivotal plot point way back in the day and now they are harvesting what they had sown.  

Ironwood didn’t snap when he found out RWBY lied to him. He was content, even after he defeated Watts. He snapped as soon as he saw Cinder’s present. The Queen piece. He unraveled immediately and, sure, the discovery of RWBY’s lies didn’t help,  but it wasn’t the cause for Ironwood’s descent.

 He genuinely means well in opposing Salem and her forces, but his severe paranoia complex, exacerbated by the stress of being one of the only ones in the know about Salem and having to explain his actions to the skeptical populace and council, cause his decisions to degenerate over time. By the end of Volume 7, he becomes willing to abandon everyone in Mantle to die, violently lashes out at anyone who opposes him, and manages to undo all of the hard work he's accomplished by second-guessing his own actions.

James Ironwood is undoubtedly a fascinating character that has this certain appeal to most people. I  can understand Ironwood's viewpoint but it is not the same as forgiving or condoning as good. Sure, I thought him intervening in affairs that he had no right to was a skewed perception, but I understood where he was coming from. I thought him ignoring the concerns and advice of people was reckless, but I also kind of understood  his limitations and his upbringing. But in all honesty I was neutral about Ironwood ever since he debuted and didn’t think he had much to contribute to the story besides being the guy with an army along with the pride and arrogance that comes with.

Because of that Ironwood was always an antagonistic force in RWBY with ideals and plans that contradict the established ideals and motivations that are already shared with the world of Remnant. He just simply couldn’t fit in and when he tried he didn’t like it. When he tried to change it and take charge he only made things worse. Ironwood had potential to be good and a proper hero due the influence of Oz but his pride and ego that he got from Atlas got the better of him and now the show's true heroes will have to fix the problems that he has caused.

Summary

#rwby #rwby ironwood #james ironwood #general ironwood #Ironwood analysis

[pinknerdpanda]

A Terrible Idea

Word Count: 3.9k

Characters: Biker!Bucky x Stark!reader, Brother!Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Steve and Sam

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, drinking, rivalries, language.

Beta’d by: @shy-violet-soul​ Thank you darling! xoxo

@star-spangled-bingo​ square filled: “First I love You” (bolded below)

A/n: I’ve been sitting on this one for a few weeks and I finally finished it last night. I’m a sucker for Biker!Bucky and I hope I did him justice. Feedback is very appreciated!

X

A Terrible Idea

This was a terrible idea. 

I’d had a feeling it was going to be from the minute I’d agreed to come, but now, pulling into the parking lot of the ramshackle bar, I know for sure I’d been right. Rows and rows of suped up, carefully polished and exquisitely maintained motorcycles lay between me and the entrance. I groan, unbuckling the strap under my chin and sliding the helmet off my head. 

“Oh come on, Princess. It’s not so bad,” my brother chuckles in front of me. He dismounts before holding out a hand and helping me down, far less gracefully than he’d managed.

I shoot him a glare, tugging the hem of my dress down and shaking out my hair. 

“Says you,” I grumble, ducking to check my reflection in the tiny side mirror. It proves a fruitless endeavor, and I groan again.

“You look fine, y/n,” Pepper soothes, as she steps forward between us. “It’s going to be fun. Besides, when was the last time you went out. You need to let your hair down and live a little.”

Tony’s arm winds around her shoulders, tugging her against his side. The look of adoration they share is so sweet it makes me want to vomit.

“Your version of fun and my version of fun don’t always seem to mesh,” I prop a fist against my hip. 

“Well that’s because our version of ‘fun’ is actually fun, unlike yours, which is just lame.”

“I hate you.” I mutter, rolling my eyes. 

“No you don’t baby sister,” Tony laughs. “You just hate being wrong. Which you are. A lot.”

The familiar roar of an engine cuts off any further argument as a shiny, metallic blue Honda Shadow pulls to a stop next to Tony’s Harley.

“Rhodey!” Tony cheers as he watches his best friend cut the engine and climb off. 

“Hey Tone. Pepper, y/n - looking beautiful as always,” Rhodey grins before turning his full attention to me. “I’m glad you came tonight. I thought for sure you’d stay home.”

“Well, it wasn’t for lack of trying.” Tony claps Rhodey on the back before ushering us all toward the door. “Alright, party people. Let’s do this.”

The bar is sparsely lit as we enter, fog billowing through the room and obscuring what little lighting exists. Stale cigarettes, beer and sweat coalesce into an oddly comforting fragrance, and I take a deep breath before exhaling. Maybe this wasn’t such a terrible idea after all.

A large man wearing a leather vest covered in menagerie of patches stumbles into me, the drink in his hand sloshing out and dousing me in a cold, hoppy shower. He turns, wide-eyed and apologetic before his expression twists into an unsettling leer, his eyes dancing over my body and making me feel more exposed than I already am.

The warmth of a presence at my back precedes the flash of fear that spreads across his face. I smirk at him, watching with interest as realization plays across his features, his eyes darting back and forth between me and my brother now looming behind me. Feet faltering, the man retreats, the remainder of his drink spilling down his front as he all-but-runs away.

“Jackass,” I mumble, adjusting the straps of my dress and turning toward Tony. “Thank you.”

“I’ve always got your back, sis. Besides,” Tony grins. “Syd Vicious over there knows better than to mess with me.” He shoots me a wink just as his name is yelled from the back of the bar and he makes his way toward the voice, Pepper and Rhodey in tow.

Rather than follow them, I make a beeline for the bar. I’ve been here all of three minutes and, already, I require copious amounts of alcohol. The bartender is tiny - slim and cute in her strapless leather dress and fishnets - but the look in her eyes speaks a warning that there is more to her than meets the eye. She smiles at me as I place my palms against the grimy surface of the bar and make a silent plea with my future drunk-self not to hit on her later.

“Two shots of tequila and a beer, please.”

She winks at me before turning to fill my request. 

“Not playin’ around are ya, sweetheart?” 

The voice startles me - not so much that it caught me off-guard, but more that the rich rasp of it sends a chill down my spine. Tilting my head slightly, I find the profile of a man, backlit by the lights flashing from the dance floor.

His hair is cropped short on the sides and only a little longer on the top. The line of his jaw is striking despite the scruffy beard peppering his cheeks. He glances at me sideways as he brings his drink to his plush lips and it takes a conscious effort to look anywhere but at his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows.

Two shot glasses and a bottle are placed in front of me next to two lime wedges and a salt shaker. I nod at the bartender, shooting her a wink in thanks as I take the first shot.

“It’s a party, right? Isn’t this what you’re supposed to do? Get lit and loosen up a little?” I quirk an eyebrow at the handsome man beside me before throwing back the second shot.

“What?” His voice is like velvet, warm and luxurious against my skin as he leans in closer. “No lime or salt?”

“What can I say? I like to live life dangerously,” I shrug before leaning against the bar, a smile curving my lips. 

He sits back, his fingers tracing the edge of his glass as he narrows his eyes at me. His gaze traces the shape of my body, but it’s not predatory or icky like the guy with the patches before. If anything, it makes my heart beat a little faster, even as I resist the urge to wrap my arms around myself.

I’ve never been one to feel completely comfortable in my own skin. I know, I know, everyone has body issues. But being the chubby girl in a family of skinny-ass bikers with model-like girlfriends and muscles for days does little for a girl’s self esteem. I’ve had boyfriends, but they all either wanted to “help fix” me by suggesting various diets and workouts or let me know how big of a favor they were doing by dating a “fat chick.”

Then there was Joey. He was gorgeous, funny, sweet and the sex was outstanding. I overheard him at the bar one night, joking with his buddies about how pathetic it was that I constantly “threw” myself at him. He showed at my doorstep the next night telling me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me. I made sure to let him know how pathetic it was to constantly throw himself at me and slammed the door in his face.

“You alright there, doll?”

The velvet voice shakes me from my self deprecation and I realize he’s staring at me curiously. Heat curls up the sides of my face and ears as his brows furrow. 

“Peachy.”  Mumbling, I grab my beer, taking a long swig and turning from his concerned expression.

His hand catches my elbow and I feel a jolt of electricity at his touch.

He says something, but I can’t make it out and I shoot him a questioning look. The music from the band has gotten louder and he leans in “Hey, I’m sorry. Did I do something?”

I shake my head and take another drink. He signals the bartender for two more beers before nodding to the back patio. He’s mouthing something that looks like “it’s too loud in here” as the bartender hands him the bottles.

He gestures to the patio and I feel him at my back as I make my way to the door. Several groups of people are scattered among the mismatched chairs and tables, but the air is crisp and the music is only a dull roar now. We settle into a pair of metal chairs in the corner and he hands me one of the beers.

“Sorry, I couldn’t hear myself think in there. M’name’s Bucky, by the way.”

“Y/n. Thanks for the beer, Bucky.” 

He smiles and in that instant the moon is eclipsed by the crinkling around his eyes and the cleft of his chin. “So what’s a pretty girl like you doing in a dump like this, huh?”

“Right.” Scoffing, I roll my eyes. “That line usually work for you or…” I trail off, gesturing with my beer.

He chuckles, holding his hands up in surrender. “‘S’not a line, just an honest question. You just don’t strike me as the kind of girl who hangs around these places, ya know?”

“Oh, so now we’re going with the ‘you’re not like other girls’ bullshit, huh? Smooth, Buck. Really smooth.” I quirk an eyebrow as he squirms ever so slightly. “Or is it because I’m too fat to be the stereotypical hot biker chick type?”

“No, no. You’re...that’s not...I didn’t…”

Laughing, I smack his arm. “Relax. I'm just fuckin’ with you. These places usually aren’t my kind of thing. Not any more at least.”

He sighs, some of the uncomfortable tension visibly draining from his face. “Yeah, me either. You're not by the way.” I tip my head questioningly. "Fat, I mean. You're gorgeous."

I shift, ignoring the heat prickling my cheeks. Unable to come up with a reply to his unexpected compliment, I clear my throat and change the subject.

“So, what brought you here, then, Bucky," I smirk, drawing out his name seductively and surprising myself. What the hell are you doing?

Bucky takes a sip of beer, a small droplet lands on his lip that he kicks away before nipping at his bottom lip.

"Duty and all that." He shrugs casually, despite the deliberate vagueness of his answer. 

I narrow my eyes at him, closing my hands around my bottle. The drink will be too warm for my liking after this, but I don't really care.

"Let me guess; club president and you've got to make an appearance at these shit shows for the sake of morale?" 

Bucky's brow quirks, his eyes twinkling in the starlight. 

"What gave it away?" He says dryly. 

I grin, unwrapping my hands and taking a long drink before replying. "The president patch on your jacket." I lean in and whisper. "It's a bit of a dead giveaway."

He chuckles then and the sound slithers down my spine. 

"You don't say." He eyes me curiously as his long fingers play over the neck of his bottle. 

The thought strikes me that he seems very...adept with his fingers. Gulping, I try desperately to push down that line of thinking as a warmth floods my body. You wanton bitch, keep it together.

"What about you, Doll?" He tips his head to one side, eyes still dancing over my face. It almost feels like he can read my mind and I hope to God he can't.

"My brother dragged me along. Said I wasn't allowed to stay home and 'hide from fun like a goddamn hermit' so...here I am." 

Bucky nods, placing his forearms on the table and leaning towards me. "I gotta say, I'm real glad he did."

The warmth from seconds ago creeps up my shoulders and neck and burns at my cheeks. Lost for words again, I smile and take another drink, draining the remnants of my too warm beer. 

"Y/n?" Tony's voice startles me and I whip my head around to find my brother stomping toward me, Pepper and Rhodey in tow. The redhead clutches the sleeve of Tony's jacket and she shoots me an apologetic look. The air suddenly sparks with tension and I glance between the trio very confused.

"Hey, Tony. What's going on?" I duck my head to meet his eyes, but he's staring over my shoulder, ignoring me.

"Barnes," he growls. "What the hell are you doing?"

I glance over my shoulder to find Bucky smirking, but I don't miss the muscle in his jaw twitching.

"Having a drink with a beautiful woman," he replies, his voice teetering between nonchalance and irritation. "You two know each other?"

"Something like that, but I'm guessing you already knew that," Tony grinds out as Bucky rises to his feet.

The two men tower over me and I shift awkwardly trying to find a way out from between them. 

"What the fuck's that supposed to mean, Stark?"

Tony rolls his eyes, a huff of humorless laughter punching from his lungs. "Right. You expect me to believe you just happened to strike up a conversation with my baby sister? Give me a break, Barnes."

Bucky steps back, giving me room to slide from my chair and stand a little distance from them. He gulps and shoots me a panicked look. 

"You're Stark's sister?" The words are hoarse and low, as though it hurt him to spit them out. 

Frustrated and confused, I whirl on my brother. "Tony, what the fuck is going on?" 

Tony tugs his arm from Pepper's grasp and shoves an accusatory finger toward Bucky. "He's a fucking White Wolf, y/n. The goddamn president, in fact."

The shuffle of boots behind me draws my attention and I watch two men approach Bucky, flanking him. The man on the right is tall, blonde and has a face too boy-next-door to match his worn leather jacket. The other man grins at me, deep brown lips parting to reveal a gap between his front teeth. Neither of the men strikes much in the way of fear in me, but the menacing looks they throw toward my brother send a prickle of anxiety through my bones.

"I'd bet money that douche-canoe is only using you to try and get to me." Tony crosses his arms.

The patio has grown deadly quiet save for the full hum of music from inside. The static in my head, however, is screaming in rage and I return my gaze to my brother. 

"Is that so? You don't think there's a snowball's chance in hell he could actually find my company appealing? Is it possible that once - just one time - in your fucking life, Anthony, that something might not actually be about you?"

Rhodey stifles a laugh and Tony glares at him. I cross my arms and lift my eyebrows, watching him expectantly. 

"All I'm saying is that it's too damn big of a coincidence." Tony sighs before continuing, lowering his voice and clutching my elbows affectionately. "You know what happened, y/n. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out he's using you."

Hurt and anger roar in my ears as I step out of his grasp. Of course I know about the rivalry between the White Wolves and the Iron Legion. I may not be as well versed in club politics as I'd once been, but the feud goes back for generations. The fact that my brother finds it more plausible that a man would want to spend time with me because of a decade's old grudge rather than simply appreciating my company stings. 

"That's not it at all, y/n," Bucky murmurs behind me, his words dripping with sincerity as though he can read my thoughts. "I had no idea you even knew him. You have to believe me."

Tears burn at the back of my eyes and I take a deep breath before turning to face him.

"And now that you do?" 

Tony grumbles behind me, but I ignore him. Bucky's face is drawn in confusion as he meets my eyes.

"Now that I do, what?"

"Now that you know who I am. Does that change anything?" I sniff, wrapping my arms around myself and staring at the toe of my black boot.

A second pair of boots steps into view and I look up to find Bucky standing directly in front of me. His hands clench and unclench at his sides, but I can't tell if it's unspent anger or a hesitancy to touch me. Finally he places a finger under my chin, tipping my head back gently.

"Not a thing," he breathes, searching my face for something.

When I step backward, his hand drops back to his side and he hangs his head. I turn to face my brother.

"First, I love you. You're my brother and nothing will change that. But right now you're being a giant asshole. I don't give a shit if he's a Hell's Angel or a fuckin' priest. Who I speak to and spend time with is none of your business. I suggest you find something else to fill your time besides dragging me into your club bullshit."

Pepper grins at me over Tony's shoulder. Rhodey looks concerned and maybe a bit disappointed, but says nothing. Tony nods, opening his mouth but closing it again.

"Tony, that's enough. She's a grown woman," Pepper soothes.

His lips press into a tight line as he grabs Pepper's hand and leads her back inside. Rhodey steps forward, patting my shoulder before following his friend.

I turn back to Bucky, his face a wash of awe, confusion and appreciation. I smile at him weakly, tipping my head back toward the door.

"Next round's on me." I glance at his new companions. "You, too. Pull up a seat and Bucky can introduce us when I get back."

Without waiting for a response, I make my way back inside, my legs shaking slightly and my lungs begging for oxygen. Apparently I'd been holding my breath for most of our little exchange outside and I relish the scent of beer and stale cigarettes as I inhale deeply.

----

A few hours and many beers between my confrontation with Tony and now, I throw my head back, howling at Sam. 

"He didn't." I gasp dramatically. 

Sam wiggles his eyebrows at me as Bucky groans beside me.

"Oh he did. Got it on camera and everything."

Giggles break free from my lips as I look at Bucky, annoyance twisting his features as he glares at Sam. I clamp one hand over my mouth and the other on his thigh as the giggles continue. Bucky looks between the hand on his thigh and my face as his lips curve in amusement and his pupils darken. 

Steve clears his throat and stands. "Y/n it's a pleasure meeting you. I think Sam and I will head back inside and see what Romanoff is up to."

"Aw come on, Steve. I haven't even told her about the time…" 

Sam's words are cut off as Steve grips his shoulder harshly. Sam coughs and sends me a wicked grin before rising to his feet.

"Another time," he winks at me. "You two stay out of trouble."

The patio is nearly empty I realize as I watch the two men head back inside. Bucky chuckles beside me, placing his arm across the back of my chair.

"Some interesting friends you've got there, Buck," I muse, but stop as I meet his gaze. 

Bucky licks his lips, his pupils blown even wider now as he watches me. My mouth feels dry and I squirm under his heated stare.

Just when I think he's going to lean in and kiss me, he stands abruptly. 

"Dance with me." 

He holds his hand out to me and I stare at it, dumbly.

"Come on, Doll. It's just us out here, now. A pretty girl gets all dressed up for the evening, she deserves at least one dance." He wiggles his fingers invitingly and I oblige.

He grins as he helps me to my feet and wraps his arms around my waist. 

"There's no music, Buck." I slip my hands around his neck anyway and he pulls me closer, rocking gently side to side.

"Don't need no music," he mumbles before burying his face into the crook of my shoulder. "We can make our own."

My fingers tangle in his hair as I press my cheek against his chest. The leather of his jacket is softer than it looks and I sigh, allowing him to lead me in a silent dance.

The murmur of voices inside and the comforting chirp of crickets nearby bleed together in a soothing cocoon of white noise as our bodies sway.

"I never thanked you earlier." Bucky's breath tickles my neck and sends a pleasant shiver down my spine.

I pull back to look at him. "Thank me for what?"

"For believing me," he says simply. When I narrow my eyes at him, confused, he chuckles and continues. "Everything Stark...err...Tony..." he corrects himself awkwardly, "... everything he said about me using you, I was sure you'd walk away. But then you didn't. Instead you just unloaded on him and I gotta say, y/n, it was pretty hot." 

I chuckle, dropping my head to hide the blush creeping up my cheeks. 

Bucky continues, his voice carrying a more sincere tone. "I like you, y/n. A lot. All that shit between the clubs? I'm just…" he sighs. "I'm tired of it. All that happened between my granddad and yours? Who knows how much of it is even true or who's to blame." He pauses, dragging his teeth over his bottom lip. "What I'm trying to say is. I'd like to get to know you more but I don't want all this rivalry crap to come between you and your brother. Family is family, ya know? And I'd hate for you to get…"

Feeling brave, I cut off his rambling by pressing my lips to his and he goes still except for the tightening of his grip on my hips. I slide my hands to cup his cheeks and pull back.

"I like you too, Bucky." He smiles widely at me. "My brother and I will be fine, we just need to sit down and talk things out after we've both cooled down."

Bucky nods thoughtfully, his eyes dipping down to my mouth before meeting mine again. One hand glides up my arm and over my shoulder before resting against the back of my neck. His thumb brushes against the shell of my ear and I shudder at the sensation. He smiles broadly before pressing against my head, and dropping his mouth to mine.

Where the first kiss was slow and gentle, this one is firm and heated and does nothing to keep my stomach from coiling in on itself. I drag my tongue along the seam of his lips and sigh as he parts them. He kisses me like our whole damn lives depend on it and at this point, I'm beginning to think they do.

When we finally break free, breathless and chests heaving, he rests his forehead against mine and hums in satisfaction.

"Remind me to thank your brother for dragging you out tonight," Bucky mumbles, pecking my lips, once, twice. "Maybe when he doesn't want to punch me in the face."

I throw my head back, joy bubbling from the depths of my soul as my laughter breaks the quiet stillness of night. Bucky grins and kisses me again. A voice in the back of my head whispers over the surge of desire threatening to overtake me.

"See, tonight wasn't so terrible after all."

Like what you see? Want more? My SPN Masterlist is here, and MCU is here. Thanks for reading! :)

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[dreamsofthescreen]

The Abstract Point Of A Clockwork Orange - Review

Released for streaming on Netflix two years ago, is this a so called ‘masterwork’ of a film, or just cinematic satire?

Malcolm McDowell in 'A Clockwork Orange'

Based on the book by Anthony Burgess, Stanley Kubrick’s 1971 adaptation of ‘A Clockwork Orange’, proved greatly controversial, yet influential. The dreamy, edgy swinging 60s sets up the scene for ultra violent home invasions and tortuously explicit murders performed by ‘The Droogs’. Released for streaming on Netflix two years ago, is this a so called ‘masterwork’ of a film, or just cinematic satire? Surrounding the idea of free will, this can be tossed around endlessly and reviewed in philosophy as something problematic. But is this film’s talk of freedom and suppression all really necessary? It’s upfront commentary on humanity that can be deemed as abstract, yet is this label of abstract just an excuse to glamorise the utter violence? Or does ‘A Clockwork Orange’ stand strongly with a point in hand? We can say both. The retro aesthetics, in terms of costume & production design that Kubrick can be recognised for, do play into the significance and absurdity of this work.

Set in a dystopian England where the governed rules are anything but at liberty for citizens, morals aren’t only tested, but are completely rejected. In this world, the government find order in good behaviour, something that the main character, Alex, (Malcolm McDowell) completely detests. Alex has no moral limits and gains pleasure from violence with no concern for the consequences. Within the first half an hour of the film, we see him and his gang of ‘droogs’ beat up a homeless man and mercilessly invade an old mans home, robbing it as well as raping and murdering his wife. Though labelled as a lesson in testing how far freedom of choice can go, A Clockwork Orange’s meaning can seem scattered.

Seen to represent someone so outwardly alive in his lack of concern for society, Alex’s mad challenging of human morals tests the meaning of freedom. But given themes, are they just barren and only strive to portray substance? It can just be seen as senseless violence for many. The intensely rebellious attitude is a reflection of the oppression faced in this film’s universe, and ultimately is an exaggerated comment on society today. Yet, you could say this about a film like Dirty Harry or Pulp Fiction, given their brutality. This theme, focusing on order vs chaos in society, is no doubt relevant, but however meaningful is it? The meaning left in it could be that, through it’s distressing realism, it so rawly opens ones eyes to today’s illicit society. Commenting on the confusion surrounding the film’s meaning, Kubrick stated that, “It is a story of the dubious redemption of a teenage delinquent by condition-reflex therapy. It is, at the same time, a running lecture on free-will.” Furthermore, author Anthony Burgess writes in ‘A Clockwork Orange Resucked’, that the meaning is in the title, ‘A Clockwork Orange’ referring to one who “has the appearance of an organism lovely with colour and juice, but is in fact only a clockwork toy to be wound up by God or the Devil or the Almighty State”. In saying this, Burgess does confirm that from his perspective, this is a comment on human nature being sucked away by a totalitarian government. Yet, even given the comment from the author, our perspective as an audience is truly subjective.

In the author’s word, commenting that ‘A Clockwork Orange’ reflects someone who “has the appearance of an organism lovely with colour…but is only a clockwork toy to be wound up by the Almighty State”, refers to our potential for evil, and the importance of it in human nature. This is certainly a thought provoking theme, as most of the film is. The extreme capabilities of human beings can be an incredibly positive light or looming darkness, given which we choose to act on. Yet when this potential is squashed by a higher state, we can question whether one has free will, if it is still controlled. In a scene where Alex’s rebellion in lessened by Ludovico’s Technique, a process in which he is brutally forced to watch films of atrociously violent acts, with treatment in order to make him physically sick at even the thought of committing any crime. In hope to make him less of a threat to present society, he is less of himself. Again, we can think about the fact that is is of course necessary to change such wicked behaviour, but we can also think about how it could be, had we not chosen to create any governed rules.

After seeing state officials confirm that Alex has been cured of his homicidal behaviours, a prison chaplain states, “Choice! The boy has not a real choice, has he? Self-interest, the fear of physical pain drove him to that grotesque act of self-abasement. The insincerity was clear to be seen. He ceases to be a wrongdoer. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice.” In total, Alex’s behaviour is ceased to be wrong, but he is also ‘ceased to be capable of choosing for himself, since he had been rewired to believe what the state had wanted him to believe - that acts of violence simply are wrong. To the normal mind, this isn’t a hard concept to grasp, as we are surrounded by basic morals that tie in with our empathy. Yet to someone with more sociopathic or psychopathic tendencies, this concern isn’t there. So, again, Kubrick leaves us questioning whether or not people in this state of mind should have the choice there in the first place, as they are unable to distinguish that morals are important in humanity.

Furthermore, in 1973, Kubrick decided to ban A Clockwork Orange in the United Kingdom, due to continuous upheaval. Renowned film critic Roger Ebert gave it two out of four stars, stating that it was an “ideological mess”. Comments on it’s explicit sexuality, dehumanisation and violence were made, with some thinking that the point of the film in itself was missed. As some claimed it’s content was to create a raw piece of art, others claimed it an offensive excuse to pointlessly portray horrific scenes. And horrific the scenes are, though with fashionable features, the torturously disturbing scenes of ‘The Droogs’ murders’ are certainly crude, and have no backstory whatsoever. These brutal scenes can be seen as damaging to on audiences, or even dangerous. What kind of insight are audiences given when shown such destructiveness?

If we talk about the stylistic features of Kubrick’s adaptation, they have certainly played into it’s iconic status, having audiences sometimes classify it as a performance art piece, rather than a film. The renowned costumes of ‘the droogs’ have been used repetitively as Halloween costumes, as well as the storyline being referenced in The Simpsons. The production design is, without a doubt, gorgeous, kooky and as abstract as the film’s meaning. The interiors stun with colour blocking wallpapers, framed pictures of 1960s models and record players spinning in one room. The sense of 1960s jazz certainly is there, with a slanted, modern design, that Kubrick is known for in other works like ‘The Shining’. Whilst Alex and his gang members commit crime, they dance along to Gene Kelly’s ‘Singin’ In The Rain’, and as Alex is tested through Ludovico’s Technique, a recognisable symphony by Beethoven is played. The 1960s wardrobe bursts with colour, an exaggerated view of the Britain in the swinging sixties. Audiences are attracted to these joyful features like music and fashion, the stylistic features making it such a cult classic. A cult classic needs to be fashionable, but is this fashion in the film pretentious? Especially when surrounded by such violence, as though to say that it’s chaos can be softened by pretty interiors or a recognisable score. Or does it make it all the more disturbing through adding joyful song or colourful designs, as they so oppose the distressing acts that Alex and his droogs perform. Had it not had Kubrick’s touch, would we view it the same way? Though Academy Award winner Milena Canonero’s costumes and John Barry’s production design remaining outstanding, does their glamorisation gloss over the underlying trauma of the plot? This type of questioning is something we can participate in throughout watching Kubrick’s production, as both it’s ideas and meaning are not black and white. 

Kubrick’s adaptation of ‘A Clockwork Orange’ is clever in that it has us wondering whether or not it has a point, yet regardless, audiences are still left thinking about the impact of immoral behaviour and how our society responds to it. However consequential it attempts to be, it really can also be seen as blank, leaving audiences to decide on which to focus on. The pop-art aesthetics of the film can overrun the meaning or either try to stir us away from the barren landscape that it can be seen as. However strongly critiqued and analysed it may be, it’s meaning is all the more subjective, both creating interest and successfully winding up audiences.

Stars Out Of Five: 3.5/5

[himbowelsh]

Hi 😊 Would you mind terribly doing the valentine's alphabet for Spina? I could really use some Spina content in my life.

valentines day alphabet  ( accepting! )

A   :   AFFECTION.   how does your muse show affection?

Spina’s a hugger. A bear hugger, to be exact. He hugs when he’s happy, hugs when he’s sad, and when trying to cheer someone up, his go-to response is to hug them. Just being around Spina means accepting the risk of getting hugged at some point. Thankfully, he gives good hugs, and also has the sort of presence that just reassures people. Spina’s go-to affection is physical affection, but he’s pretty versatile if a friend needs something else. (This man has stayed up all night with Babe watching bad movies, just because Babe was too upset to go to bed but didn’t want to be left alone.)

B   :   BOUQUET.   does your muse like flowers? which ones are their favourite?

He knows what sorts of bouquets to get for different occasions; when his Grandma was sick in the hospital, he brought her a new bouquet every week, so not only does he know what flowers to choose, but the neighborhood florist knows him. Ralph can get a good deal on a nice arrangement for a birthday or anniversary, but should not be left to grow plants on his own without supervision.

C   :   CHOCOLATE.   does your muse like chocolate? which one is their favourite?

Like...  in it’s casual form, he’s not a fan. Ralph isn’t gonna go buckwild over some Hershey bars. But chocolate cake? Maybe some hot chocolate on a snowy day? Oreos? Completely different story. Ralph isn’t crazy about chocolate, but he really loves chocolate things. (He has tried to do a somersault for a back of Oreos, and it has not gone well. He broke Bill’s mom’s vase and was banned from her home.)

D   :   DATE.   what is your muse’s ideal date? where / who with / etc?

He...  likes bowling, for some reason. Not only is it a great opportunity to have fun with his partner, he loves the atmosphere, is delighted by the horrible junk food...  and gets to show off, because Ralph is an outstanding bowler. There’s no pressure to bowling; it’s an easy way to have a good time and get to know someone, with plenty of opportunities to goof around.

E   :   EMBRACE.   does your muse like hugs? what are their hugs like?

Ralph Spina was hugged enough as a child, okay? Physical affection isn’t just something he’s cool with, he loves it  ---  so long as it’s coming from someone he knows, not some bearded stranger in a Walmart. As stated before, he gives really great hugs. It’s like...  being hugged by hot chocolate.

F   :   FLIRT.   is your muse good at flirting? how do they flirt?

Oh no. Nooooo. He is a bad flirter. It’s not even for lack of trying, either; he just tends to come on either too dorky or too friendly. He tries to hit on someone, and next thing he knows they’re having an intense conversation about the person’s recent car troubles. Ralph never leaves bars with new contacts, but he has given out plenty of numbers  ---  for local mechanics, bakers, handymen, etc. He’s just too friendly. You’d think it’d work to his advantage, but it doesn’t. (He does have an arsenal of really corny icebreakers and pick up lines, but he’ll only break those out on special occasions. Dorky.) 

G   :   GIFT.   is your muse good at gift - giving or do they struggle to get it right?

He’s more comfortable getting silly gifts than serious ones, cause he always feels like he’s getting something wrong. When he puts his heart into a gift, though, the person he gives it to can’t help appreciating the effort.

H   :   HEART.   is your muse quick or slow to give their heart away?

He’s quicker to fall in friend-love than romantic-love. There’s just...  so much more to worry about with romantic love. Honestly, Ralph would do best in a friendship-gradually-turned-romance, because then everything evolves naturally; he’s already with someone who likes him, who he knows and feels comfortable around. Ralph’s heart doesn’t have to be won, he gives it away freely...  but falling in love is a whole other ball game.

I    :   I LOVE YOU.   does your muse find ‘i love you’ easy or hard to say?

Ehh, he’s gushy about it. It’d probably come out by accident the first time, around six months into the relationship  ---   but if his partner reacts well, Ralph takes it as encouragement. He’ll say it a hundred times. A thousand. He loves saying it. He’ll say it to get out of doing something he doesn’t want to do, to make his partner smile, to end a petty argument...  these are three of the most powerful words in the human language, and Ralph tosses them around like silly putty.

J   :   JEALOUSY.   does your muse get jealous in a relationship?

Nah, not jealous  ---  he gets insecure. It’s not something he’d be able to ignore, seeing his partner get cozy with someone else. Ralph would take it hard. Instead of being angry at them, he’d internalize it, getting mad at himself. Even if it’s something he knows they should just talk about, he’d avoid the topic with his partner, hating the fact that he’s not enough for them.

K   :   KISS.   is your muse a good kisser? why / why not?

First things first  ---  Ralph doesn’t kiss, he gets kissed. He’s rarely confident enough to make the first move himself, so it usually take someone pulling him in and just laying it on him. At first, he’ll stand shock-still, uncertain what to do...  then he’ll melt into the kiss all at once, pulling his partner close as he realizes exactly what’s going on. Ralph isn’t an adventurous kisser at first, but gets more playful as time goes on. He likes tiny love nips, getting his partner to giggle, and he loves it if they can sit on his lap, so he can wrap his hands around their waist while kissing them. He’s not demanding; he’ll gladly accept whatever kisses his partner gives him.

L   :   LOVE.   who does your muse love?

The answer really should be family first, but Ralph’s honestly closer to his friends. His parents disagree with a few of his life choices, so, much as he loves them, it’s his buddies he goes to for emotional support. Babe and Bill are great for a night out, Gene and Renee are great for a night in, Julian’s...  well, Julian’s great if you want your night to end with a small fire or a trip to the emergency room, but he’s also great in general. Ralph loves lots of people, but he could go on for ages about his friends.

M   :   MOONLIGHT.   is morning or night a more romantic setting?

No...  no getting up in the morning. Whoever invented mornings had a vendetta against sleep, and Ralph ain’t about to humor them. Sleeping in while snuggled up against a partner is plenty romantic, thanks, and there’s always time to do more later on in the day.

N   :   NAUGHTY.   what is your muse like in bed?

You gotta understand, Ralph gets into his own head a lot. He’s a little self-conscious, so it’s easy to overthink what he’s doing; he doubts himself. He’s got a couple of kinks he’s really eager to try out (really into voyeurism/pushing his luck in unconventional places) but his partner’s comfort is foremost for him. He’ll check on them multiple times, asking how they’re doing. If his partner’s smiling or laughing a bit during the act, Ralph is more confident  ---  having them too serious just makes him nervous. He’s not too confident in his own body, so being complimented during the act would make him melt. He keeps up a steady rhythm, and is surprisingly good at holding out for a long time  ---  until he’s at least pushed his partner over the edge.

O   :   ODE.   does your muse have a way with words?

On the contrary. When he likes someone, he can get tongue-tied to all hell. A crush once thought he was choking on a piece of shrimp; he was just trying to ask her out.

P   :   PARTNER.   what does your muse look for in a partner? looks / personality?

Someone who isn’t high-strung   ----  laid back and able to go with the flow, taking some time just to enjoy life. Ralph would need a partner who gets along with people as easily as he does, probably an extrovert; someone with a sense of humor; a great storyteller; somebody fun. He really needs someone to laugh and be goofy with, but also someone who can be serious in a crisis. They’ve got to have

Q   :   QUESTION.   would your muse ask the big question or expect their partner to?

He would absolutely be willing to ask  (unless his partner beat him to the punch). Ralph’s big thing, though, it that he wants a proposal to remember  ---  it’s gotta be good for his partner, cause that’s what they deserve, right? So he’d agonize over picking the right ring, probably cycling through a dozen or so choices before a very annoyed jeweler convinces him to buy something. Then he’d have to practice the proposal a dozen times, planning out different ways to do it...  which is all great, until his partner walks in to find him kneeling in front of the bedroom mirror with a ring out, proposing to his own reflection. That takes some explaining...  but in the end, everything works out.

R   :   ROMANCE.   is your muse a romantic or a cynic?

He’s got a romantic cheeseball heart, but that doesn’t mean he’s stupid about it. Ralph’s been burned before. He knows love can hurt, and only idiots rush into it without being prepared. He wants to be the romantic flowers-and-candles guy, and in a relationship he will be, but if it blows up in his face he’ll end up blaming himself for doing something wrong.

S   :   SWEETHEART.   did your muse have a childhood sweetheart?

He spent several years head-over-heels in love with Nancy Drew. His older sister was a fan of the books, and Ralph was a fan of the pictures on the covers. Swore he was going to marry Nancy when he grew up and everything. No one knew how to break it to him  ---  he had to figure out what fiction meant on his own.

T   :   TRUE LOVE.   does your muse believe in true love?

Ralph’s seen it firsthand, growing up with his parents.  If couples exist with the audacity to swap spit while their kids are in the room, yeah, true love’s gotta be out there somewhere.

U   :   UNREQUITED.   has your muse had their heart broken?

He’s had a few instances of liking someone hard, when they just didn’t feel the same way. Ralph didn’t resent them for it, and he tried not to dwell, but it still stung, man.

V   :   VALENTINE.   how does your muse feel about valentine’s day?

As a kid, it was always an excuse for his parents to have a night out, while the Spina kids got to stay home, watch crappy movies, and eat too much chocolate. As an adult...  it’s an excuse to stay in, watch crappy movies, and eat too much chocolate. He loves Valentine’s Day.

W  :   WEDDING.   would your muse get married? why / why not?

Sure! He likes the idea, but wouldn’t be devastated if his partner didn’t want it. To Ralph, it’s more important to just be with them, not to put a legal ring on it.

X   :   XOXO.   does your muse use / like pet names?

Absolutely, but he hardly ever uses them seriously. “Honeybuns”, “sugar plum”, “babydumpling”...  they’re all designed to get his partner to turn an alarming shade of red in public. Even if they occasionally get him smacked on the shoulder, it’s worth it. He just can’t take pet names seriously.

Y   :   YOURS.   does your muse get protective easily?

He’s a lover, not a fighter...  but Spina loves hard. If someone he cares about is in trouble, he’s not afraid to step in  ---  and usually has his buddies behind him to back him up. His buddies, all substantially better fighters than he is, and perfectly willing to throw the first punch. Spina’s flavor of protectiveness is all about the folks at his back, but he won’t let anyone mess around with people he loves.

Z   :   ZZZ.   how many people has your muse slept with?

He wishes the number were higher. Maybe about...  4 - 5? Ralph is no master seducer, but if someone comes onto him, he’s not about to say no.

#by 'buddies' in that last one i absolutely include gene #eugene roe could be freaking feral in a fight and this is a position i strongly maintain #ralph spina #headcanons #fromcrossroadstoking

[superviza]

For all the characters I’ve never liked, Master Fu is the only one I’ve ever done a PowerPoint for. Maybe that secretly means I love him.

I created this series just to organize my thoughts regarding Master Fu’s character. Exploring this character was my of asking questions that allow me to enjoy the show more. Just trying to solve a mystery and learn more about a show I like. In that quest these questions arose. 

Doing this has made me wonder, do I hate Master Fu? The answer I come back to is no. But Supervisa, people don’t create write whole PowerPoints roasting someone that they like. Debatable. I often judge characters based on a few questions, one of which being, “Can I have lunch with this person?”

The results vary....

No I’d rather not have lunch with Sakura or Leenalee Lee. (For some people, thems fight’n words.) But I also adore Azula and by no means would I have lunch with her. The only way they’d let me in the room is if I were serving lunch. In other words, this calls into question the character’s morals. I personally am a sucker for virtuous persons, or in some cases someone who tries to be, the antihero types. A person with outstanding morals and ethics is the type of person I want to talk to, get to know and above all emulate. That guy I’ll buy lunch for. Now that creates a contradiction. Sakura Haruno is one of the good guys right. Its not like she supports murder or human rights violations. No, but I never saw her as friendly person, between telling Sasuke Naruto was a bad person because he had no parents, to lying to Naruto so she could kill Sasuke with the very limited power she had (at the time, no lie I dig Sakura Uchiha a tad) I’ve just never seen her as someone I wanted to be like. Bringing up Sakura can usually start fights but the bottom line is, if I’m thinking about a character with traits I’d like to possess, I’d shoot for maybe Izuku Midoriya. Specifically his love for people which I could use more of. So do you want to be like Azula? That brings me to the next question.

“Did they do their job?”

That’s the question that separates my Sakuras and Azulas. Azula played the bad guy with finesse. She was tactical, decisive and ruthless and did the job of every and any character in any literary work, she supported the plot. Why am I so passionate about this? I love storytelling. The job of every character, anything mentioned in a story; is to support the plot. Nothing in a book, movie, graphic novel or TV Show, should occur due to happenstance. That’s not how real life works. No one exist for no reason, everyone has purpose and everything that happens to (wo)man is of no coincidence. (If you choose to give it meaning.) Therefore a body of work should reflect that otherwise its a waste of ink on paper, a waste of a polygon in a 3D mesh. A writer should be able to justify every stroke.

I think everyone agrees that Zuko had some of the greatest development the art narration had to offer. However, how often do we talk about the parallel of his growth to his sister’s decent. Azula was who Zuko was trying to become, confident, feared and above all, respected. Imagine if Azula didn’t posses those traits, book 2 would’ve ended differently. Zuko’s growth would’ve been motivated in some other way. In addition to that, she was the adversary that was most difficult to defeat after her father. This is not just because of strength, she was cold, ruthless and calculated, driving the Avatar’s objective. And imagine, once she has everything she wanted, and what Zuko thought he wanted, she came to the same conclusion her younger brother had arrived at. Everything we were taught, the callousness, the rigger and patriotism, it amounts to nothing. Her own mother was afraid of her. No amount of honor she gained could restore that relationship. Thus, I believe this supports my prior statement, Azula is a great character, not due to morality, but because of how she supports the plot and character growth in the series.

Does the character have multiple dimensions?

Everyone loves a multifaceted character, but do we know how to create one? This is another concept the resembles our reality. Humans, animals, creation in general is just a network of stories. (Get’n philosophic) Why else would we create characters ranging from human to bacteria source: Ozzy and Drix. But how do we make that character seem real? We’ve heard “one dimensional” used to describe characters in a negative way but why. This usually means the character needs more traits or lacks realism. It’s the difference between the relationship with your child and the relationship with your co-worker. A good parent is more likely to know what their child is thinking before the child acts. (You know, your mother just comes in with something you wanted but haven’t asked for yet.) A co-worker on the hand, even if you’er friends, the relationship will have to see a lot of upgrades before you have the same level of trust you would with a parent, generally speaking, but by then you maybe married by then. In a literary sense, a character with one dimension is essentially a stranger or acquaintance to you. How do we turn that character into our baby?

We get to know them like a real person. What was their childhood like? What event changed their life? What kind of things frighten them? What’s their hobby? If they could vacation anywhere for free, where would they go? The beach? The mountains? Some place urban? Take Izuku for example, he keeps notes on any and every hero? That’s a dead giveaway that he’s a relatively organized person, even more impressive for a 15 year old boy. It also gives the impression that he has a lot of self discipline. He did pick up a work out regiment from a world renowned hero and completed it in ten months, after he overworked himself. He also found ways to work out in during class. It makes you ask how he developed that self discipline. Even his room, covered in action figures and memorabilia, is organized and the rest of the decor matches. Not something very prevalent in men let alone teenage boys. His mother doesn’t seem particularly strict, but Izuku has proven himself to be very thoughtful. Keeping a tight ship may be the result of an attempt to make things easier for his mother. Theory, but that’s fun part in my opinion. It’s like that satisfying feeling that comes with scratching off a seal with a coin. Even if the conclusion you draw isn’t cannon, every time you ask questions about the character or world, it’s like you read/watched the squeal. And if the theory is proven in the show, film or book, it becomes that much more fun. A one dimensional character isn’t destined to be awful however, it just means we need more time to get to know them. 

So where does Master Fu fit in this complex scale of character appeal I’ve been painting? Can I have lunch with him? Sure. Do I want to emulate him? Absolutely not. Is he invited to the cook out? Depends on who all over there. Did he do his job? This is the moment of truth. Before I characterized this question from a literary stand point. That, I can’t speak to with an ongoing series.(I’m not holding my breathe though) Thus far, the character of Master Fu has supported the plot, giving viewers plenty of information about the world and lore. Does Master Fu perform the tasks he’s given in the duration he’s on “stage.” No, he failed miserably. Is he multifaceted? I’d say so, in fact, that may be the vary issue I’ve subscribed to. He has 186 years of backstory that I enjoyed probing. Even if the question I raise take me down the wrong rabbit hole, it’s like I got to explore the show from a new angle.I refrain from details because they’re in the slides.

So I say all this because I realize I may very well be alone on my Disaster Fu island. So if any viewer is wondering how I arrived at this conclusion, I hope this clarifies that. I can’t hate Master Fu if I wanted to. I have a healthy anger toward him, like the anger one has when their significant other leaves dishes in the sink. (Except your boy/girlfriend probably didn’t destroy a temple.) I think he would be a great cashier, but not a guardian. Master Fu could work at a mall kiosk, but miraculous guardian is not for him. It do be like that sometimes. Art, I am good at, but don’t ask me to play an instrument. I wasn’t planning writing on an essay but I felt an explanation was in order.

I don’t hate Master Fu

I don’t believe Master Fu was a good or even ok guardian

I decide how much I like a character according to their moral makeup or even attempt at morality

I decide how much I like a character according to their role in the plot and how suited they are to the role

I decide how much I like a character according to their different facets.

With that criteria in mind I made this series to organize my thoughts

This is just my way to explore an aspect of The Miraculous Adventures of Ladybug and Chat Noir

That being said I hope you like the series as much I enjoyed making it. Maybe You agree with it or you don’t regardless, I shared it hoping it would make you laugh. I hope it makes you ask questions not just about Miraculous Ladybug but about your work and whatever you fan for. I hope those questions allow you to experience the story again in a new way that’s enjoyable. There will be more soon!

@solembum22  @starcrossedrose @firstdove15

#miraculousladybug #the miraculous adventures of ladybug and chat noir #miraculous ladybug #ladybug and chat noir #ladybug #chat noir #marienette #adrian agreste #rena rouge #alya #alya cesaire #nino #nino lahiffe #carapace #100 miraculous reasons why master fu is a disaster #100 miraculous reasons why #miraculous reasons why #master fu #master fu is a disaster

[inspector-montoya-fox]

#4 - Fire in the Sky

Setting: this is out first snow level in the series, and damn does it set the bar high. let’s ignore the fact that the Panda King’s turf is an illegal scheme, and describe the hubs as serene. lanterns and cherry blossoms prevail. the pagodas make for excellent progressive gameplay, as we gradually make our way to the top. this is the episode with the most variation in gameplay: standard platforming, hover blaster, covering for Murray, racing, running away from Carmelita. but it doesn’t feel like too much, unlike Vicious Voodoo. i think it strikes a good balance because of how huge the platforming levels are. i’ll get into more detail about this point in the Characters section but China is the only setting that isn’t extremely affected by the baddie. for Sir Raleigh, everything was metallic, grand and elegant; for Muggshot, we were served with a level full of dumpster fires and graffiti; Mz Ruby’s spookiness made every level feel like a nightmare; but the Panda King doesn’t affect the location. sure, there’s the Panda King gate at the beginning or the flame pattern every now and then, but in general, this is China, not the Panda King’s China. i honestly love that. oh, and y’know, Fire in the Sky is purple, enhancing the tranquillity of the episode.

Characters: i’ll be real with y’all: Panda King was kinda meh. maybe it’s because he came directly after the two legends that were Muggshot and Mz Ruby. we have a character whose main trait is being angry enough to spark fires from his palms, but that’s all there is. other than that, he just mumbles his words. Sly 3 manages to squeeze some more out of the character by having him self-reflect, etc. but in Sly 1 he’s just an angry goof. despite this, i don’t think he’s a waste or anything. actually, SP did an excellent job of making him this way. Fire in the Sky represents a turning point in the game (more on that in the Themes section). as i’ve mentioned, the previous three episodes were defined by their villain, the landscapes predominantly designed after the baddies’ personalities; here we get a villain whose lacking character. that’s great because this takes the focus away from the Panda King and places it on Sly instead. without the Panda King constantly bombarding our screen with panda items or panda gates or panda fences, we notice other things such as Murray heading into the field twice or Sly’s development (more on that in a sec). so the Panda King plays his part perfectly. Carmelita makes her comeback after we last saw her floating away on the Muggshot balloon. see, her part in Fire in the Sky was what motivated me to write my essay on if the series is misogynist. the woman is just trying to do her job and is instead painted as a hot-headed bitch. Sly tries to tell her that these quaint temples are a front for an illegal explosives factory as if she’s too incompetent an inspector to figure things out. and not only that, but we also shoot fireworks at her until she drops into that foggy pit. it kinda irks me that Carmelita always manages to catch up to the scene of the crime after Sly is done with the bossfight, as if she needs Sly to take down the baddies (and this is seen again in Cold Heart of Hate). that’s why i love SP’s treatment of Carmelita in Sly 2 and 3: she roams the hubs because she’s on par with us, she takes down baddies by herself. meanwhile, Sly's journey towards becoming a master thief is reaching its end (if you were collecting all the book pages along the way). gaining the shadow power truly makes the player feel like a true thief. i don’t want to say that the levels become progressively harder (especially with Panda King being so easy to take down) but necessary skills are needed to traverse the levels and Sly has collected the ninja spire jump, the railslide move, and invisibility, plus all the extra moves from the vaults. his arsenal feels powerful, almost complete.

Themes: oohwee! i’ve been anticipating this moment. Sly’s bubble of naiveté finally bursts when we witness an entire village being avalanched on. up to now, the villains talked about and dwelled over their crazy schemes, but weren’t actually shown doing something bad (relative term). but now, right off the bat, the Panda King kills innocent people and we get to watch it. this is the departure from the jolly ride we’ve had, Sly coming to terms with how serious the situation is. the theme of fire perfectly captures the climax in the game’s structure, because a fire is lit under Sly’s ass. this turning point might be brought about by innocent deaths, but is completely necessary for our protagonist since it’s exactly what he needs to face the upcoming Clockwerk. i’m not sure if he finally gets it, but he certainly isn’t in the same mindset as in the previous three episodes. fire is explosive, hot, chaotic, and that’s this episode’s description. it also comes into stark contrast with the level’s tranquil nature. the snowfall, the ethereal music, the predominant purple: all these hint at China’s Buddhist beliefs on zen (later seen in Sly 3 with the Panda King’s enlightenment) and are “contradicted” by the violence, the fire, and the fast-paced music that plays when you get into trouble. setting plays a huge role in this episode. other than my explanation for dampening the Panda King to pave the way for Sly’s development, i think SP couldn’t really make a China level and overlook the culture. it’s not really a theme, but the culture and the display of ethnography is outstanding. as i’ve said above, we’re truly in China, or at least SP’s makeshift version of the country, the Westerner’s perception of Asia as a whole. it affects the gameplay, nonetheless. other motifs worth mentioning: monkeys, symmetry, and altitude. on the latter two, everything feels exhilaratingly high, perfectly constructed, and clean. i know Sly 1′s design is clunky and chunky, like the animation’s thick lines with sharp edges and corners, but here it works with the level.

What I Like: i can’t decide. the whole episode is a fucking mood. some of you often question why this is my favourite game in the series and to that i say ‘it’s a mood’. the music, the pagodas, the snow, the colouring, the fact that you destroy that huge dragon while Carmelita is on it. favourite detail would have to be the fact that you can kill the training pole monkeys in Flaming Temple of Flame. lanterns !!!!!!! mf lanterns, man...

What I Don’t Like: how Sly didn’t explode when he attached himself to a huge fucking rocket and blasted himself wtf. um, i gave the racing a chance in Sunset Snake Eyes, but it won’t get away so easily here. it feels sloppy: the opposing racers are all the same unlike its predecessor, and the slippery ice patches are a pain in the ass. also, something that always irritated me is a small detail: in Rapid Fire Assault, there’s one part on the conveyor belt where you can use the hover blaster to blast down a hole in the wall across you, but it doesn’t serve any purpose. so why put it there? it doesn’t even give you any coins. like... ugh, what??

Quote: No, that's only half right. I am a thief, from a long line of master thieves. While you... you're just a frustrated firework artist turned homicidal pyromaniac.

#frustrated firework artist turned HoMiCiDaL PyRoMaNiAc #the way he says it though... it's the way... #sly cooper #episode project

[mainstreamloupe]

BORN TO DIE | LANA DEL REY

‘Born to Die’ is not only a collection of Americana-poems about co-dependency and criminal fixation but the prologue to a self-discovery journey.

When you listen to Lana del Rey for the first time, her voice blasts into your memory as something completely new in the mainstream history of female vocalists and stays there as one of her most unmistakable talents, but what builds it and give it power is the lyrical talent that it transmits.

Lana del Rey wasn’t easy to digest at her debut era, she was a New York City girl that traveled south to find her own sound and find new artistic inspirations but, on the road, she fell in love and got hurt, just what any human needs to have their world revolutionized, the real world and the one in her head and heart too.

‘Video Games’, the first single to her debut album, is a risky and vulnerable ballad that tries to make a settled down couple sound as much as possible to a commitment anthem. On the story, she settles down and makes of her guy, everything that she needs, she is sincere on the little details that make her happy at the moment, but you can tell that besides her passion and admiration, there is a dark side to it that floats around the atmosphere of her tracks.

This place, where she wants to take you to listen to her stories, is not a parallel universe, is somewhere between the real and the fantasy. She writes about her past and what it changed or influenced her present, but the darkness on her past always shortens her future. When she talks about moving forward, Lana turns fatalist and negative. Just as the title of the album suggests, she’s born on her lyrics without any fear of dying.

‘Born to Die’, showcases the wars and struggles taking place on Lana del Rey’s mind. She owns her rebel, she owns and embraces her wildness, but as she feels free to come clean on her thoughts and feelings she also thinks she’s done it all, leaving behind and erasing her expectations on any kind of future.

‘Off to the Races’ is one of the tracks that portray her self-destructive fixations. She is careless about the romantic dangers that her lover may cause on her. She always acknowledges the fact that the man she chose is not a good man, not only for her but to society. Her lovers share a mediocre Bonnie and Clyde destined to fail vibe, but still, she finds beauty on the little details that make her feel loved to bring more tones to her gray love stories.

This same track and ‘Carmen’ were inspired by ‘Lolita’ a 1955 novel written by Russian American novelist Vladimir Nabokov. In the book, a middle-aged literature professor under the pseudonym “Humbert Humbert”, is obsessed with a 12-year-old girl, Dolores Haze, whom he sexually abuses after he becomes her stepfather. "Lolita" is his private nickname for Dolores. Its assimilation into popular culture is such that the name "Lolita" has been used to imply that a young girl is sexually precocious.

All of these inspirations lead to and explicit and wild-fascination state of mind that made her honest and direct, she wasn’t afraid to reference the taste of her vagina with a soda label like she did on ‘Cola’, she wasn’t afraid to reference her struggles on a love triangle of herself to John Kennedy’s inspired ‘National Anthem’, and she didn’t even bother to proclaim Elvis Presley as her father, Marilyn Monroe as her mother or Jesus Christ as her best friend on ‘Body Electric’.

All of these pop-cultural references and metaphors might’ve seemed superficial and Hollywood-esque, but all of this honesty, all of these fearless pop culture references, added value to her work, made it authentic, made it feel and sound true, and not just some radio engineered tracks.

Lana always assures to make her inspirations notable, you get to understand that her fascination’s where inspired by a true novelist and his sexual and addiction-related tales, ‘Born to Die’, lives between the fantasy of Lana’s favorite stories, but feels natural because of her own past with alcohol and wild experiences.

As the inspirations to her lyrics, as a way to channel her deepest emotions in a poetic and theatrical way, her music speaks through its composition according to the mood of the story.

Vintage violins arrangements and distorted and noisy synths merge on the instrumentals to build Lana’s characteristic sound aesthetics. ‘Dark Paradise’ is a game within black and white, like love and death, it feels vintage, religious and elaborate. Modern beats fight against ambitious choruses supporting and giving strength to her vocals. The beats go up as she risks on higher notes previous the final hook, the rhythm ladders up to a heavenly composition that feels utopian and still fatalist.

The weak link on ‘Born To Die’ might be the instrumental narrow variety that might’ve helped every song to have a unique character if it went wider. The full listen from beginning to end might turn odd and complicated on the ‘Paradise Edition’ of the album, where the production narrative turns long and repetitive. You could play the title track ‘Born To Die’ and then ‘Blue Velvet’ and get a copy-paste intro and slowed down verses as in the instrumentals as the vocalizations.

The outstanding track ‘Ride’ works as an autobiographical anthem and the album’s concept synthesis, but the remaining tracks, could be better described as an interlude to the forthcoming ‘Ultraviolence’.

‘Born to Die’ does not reflect Lana’s best, not because of a lack of talent or inspiration, Lana is a natural songwriter and storyteller, but because she still needs to find true love, and might even need to taste the sweeter side of life. She has felt hurt, she’s been betrayed, she knows how obsessed she can get over someone, but still needs to learn to let go of the things that poison her, her story might get brighter by the discovery of self-love and self-sufficiency, or she might not even get there, but she teases you to keep you by her side on this self-discovery story.

Born to Die is not a story with an end, it is just the context to understand what inspired her as an artist, it is a lyrical retrospective to her darkest moments and rejoices on the complexity of achieving a brighter future. It is the opening act to a theatrical self-discovery play curating a patriotic soap opera. We were all born to love, but when you fall in love with the wrong person, your perspective might change to a destiny of being born, to die.

#lana del rey #born to die #paradise edition #born to die paradise edition #music review #pop music #pop culture #journalism #music journalism

[willavenge]

traiinedhard.

One minute, Saitama’s munching away at something he and Genos had made in the hot pot with a copy of Sailor Moon right in front of him. He keeps eating at his bowl slowly, reading his manga all the while … buut it’s not long before he finishes. He’s a little disappointed that the bowl is empty, because he’s only half paying attention as he continues to read the panels and reach for another spoonful. He bites into nothingness on the spoon ( save for a little broth ) and frowns – glancing over at it with a little confusion. Ah, well … he’ll get more food in a bit. So, for now .. Saitama shoves the bowl of food away, returning to his focus on reading. 

Honestly, he is super absorbed in the manga at the moment, so .. he doesn’t even realize that a piece of lettuce has stuck to the side of his cheek! The table is silent as he reads, though he gets the distinct feeling of being watched … well, moreso than usual, when it comes to Genos. It’s a nagging feeling that the hero tries to ignore, but he can just tell Genos isn’t gonna let up so easy. Just when he lifts his head up and glances over at the other end of the table, he sees Genos is … gone? Weird. He looks around the room, but doesn’t really see Genos – that is, until he looks directly to his side, and the cyborg is literally a few inches away from his face. Saitama’s pretty startled at that – so he visibly jumps back, a little annoyed expresion on his face.

“Geez, dude, don’t you know personal space?” 

The cyborg is silent for a moment, golden irises going black, and Saitama notices that he’s gripping his hands into fists. “…You have something on your face, sensei.” He calmly instructs, and Saitama just kinda. Stares. When he makes no move to clean it off, Genos specifies – “It’s on your cheek.” So .. slowly, he places his book face down on the table ( to keep his place, of course ) and wipes at his face. He asks if he got it, and Genos shakes his head no. He tries again. Nope. And again. Nada. One more time, and it’s clear this is driving Genos a little batty, and Saitama’s getting pretty frustrated himself! He actually straight up says something along the lines of ‘ why don’t you just wipe it off then? ’ because he wants to get back to his reading, dammit!  .. And in return, Genos utters something about please excusing him.

Before Saitama can respond to that in his irritated state, he finds his chin being gently gripped by the cyborg!Immediately, any and all irritation he’d had melted away in an instant, and all he could say was a tiny “Oh.” Of course, Genos had wiped it away in an instant .. but his hand was lingering on Saitama’s chin, and he found himself kind of staring into the cyborg’s golden eyes. And it seems that Genos was doing the same to Saitama’s plain eyes. Something about the mood turned really serious, though, and .. well, he’s not sure exactly what it was, or why, or what this tension was in the air. But he did what felt right, after a considerably long pause of just having his face held … he leans in, and his eyes flutter shut as he does so. Genos’ seem to do the same too, and it’s clear what his intentions are; he wants to kiss Genos. Just as their lips brush, however, Saitama .. well, he wimps out. He pauses right where he is, nose pressed against Genos’s and the cyborg able to feel the warm breath from his lips since they’re still so close, and then .. he pulls away.

It really it unusual for Saitama to be so flustered, but here he is, having a bad case of crippling self doubt. There’s no way he’s THAT lucky, right? Nobody could like a guy like him romantically, even if he .. really does like Genos. Surely, he could find someone better for him, right? He deserved a lot better than some depressed bald dude in a cape… and this he is painfully aware and certain of. So with the sudden self doubt clouding his mind, he avoids Genos’ kicked puppy confused expression and scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. He’s going to try to  shrug this off like he DIDN’T just almost-kiss his room mate … R.I.P. to Genos

He’s struggling to think of a way to break the silence, but .. nothing’s coming to mind, and the silence is deafening. Eventually, though, the words do come to him … buuut they’re not much. “Uh.. thanks, Genos.” was all he could really bring himself to say.

( Wow, he was shitty with words. )

     As the silence sunk in, the blond cyborg was trying to comprehend what had almost just happened. By calculating how close Saitama’s face was to his a moment ago, his increasing heart rate and body temperature, and the faint lingering sensation on Genos’s lips, he assumed it was an attempt to share a kiss. An act that he found himself subconsciously indulging in until it came to an abrupt halt. The mellow glow gradually faded from the boy’s eyes once he finished analyzing the situation, and the other pulled back, leaving him dumbfounded.

     A desperate plea to continue was on the tip of his tongue, but insecurities weighed him down, and only a hushed 〝 Se — … 〞 was drawn from his parted lips. There is no denying that Genos idolized the hero in front of him and held him in high regard, even with Saitama’s shortcomings, but how thin is the line between admiration and something that goes beyond it? Although they’ve been living together under the same roof for a few months now, it was the first time he paused to reflect on his feelings towards his master, unaware that him getting caught up in his thoughts added more fuel to the growing tension between them.

     The idea of being in a relationship sounded pleasant in theory, even for someone like Genos who had no recollections of it sparking his interest during his early teens (or, perhaps he had and chose to continue to repress his memories as he disliked to dwell on the past.). But was he allowed to consider it now, at his current state? Not only he lacked a human body, but he was also still relatively weak - the cyborg's feats of strength were pale in comparison to those of Saitama, not to mention that his reckless behavior put him times and times again in dangerous positions. He sighed. The emotional attachment might be disadvantageous in battles and prevent him from going all out, and while there was no doubt that Saitama was unexceptionally strong and could defend himself — Genos wished to prove how much he had grown by being able to protect his teacher, the city they live in, and other people.

     Yet, his human part insisted that are things which are far more important than strength.

     〝 Sensei — 〞 he called out and placed a hand on the floor to support his weight as he leaned in to shrink the gap between them. 〝 I know I'm repeating myself when I say I've never met a man as outstanding as you before, and if I were to list all the reasons as to why I think so highly of you, I'd fail to summarize it within 20 words ... or less. 〞 the blond cyborg's stoic expression softened a tad. 〝 I know I still have a long way to go and that it might be inappropriate on my behalf as your disciple, so I apologize in advance, but — 〞 using his free hand, Genos cupped Saitama's cheek with his jet-black metallic digits a second time. He then tilted his head and closed his eyes, pressing his lips against his. Though he didn't have a nervous system or a heart, he felt nothing but the purest form of bliss by being this close to the person that means the world to him.

#traiinedhard #Long post /// #ajdfhjd I haven't written multi-paras in 3 years I'm. )) #I'm sorry /bows. ))

[robbyrobinson]

Another show that provides you with the warm fuzzies. The show revolves around salaryman Nakano and his stressful life. One day, a fox girl named Senko appears in his apartment and for whatever reason, she wanted to pamper him as a means of destroying the darkness that was manifesting. The series starts out with a rather simplistic: Nakano gets stressed, and Nakano gets pampered by Senko. Or, you would have a fellow fox girl Shiro who would often show up to cause mischief. What I can say though is that it is not all the series has to offer. The later episodes get more into why exactly Senko is so devoted to pampering Nakano which stems from some actual trauma on her part. Once you find out what it is, it reevaluates everything that you thought you knew about the show. It stems from that human side of us that wish that we did something differently, we would've gotten different results. So in short, it starts off formulaic, but later becomes more poignant the more you know Senko.

The opening and ending themes oozed with warmness and they are also very much of an earworm. It only further adds onto the tone of this being a feel good anime. As for the animation, it also reflects well with the premise. The character designs look soft and cuddly. The backgrounds often look gorgeous, particularly in the remaining episodes. My only complaint is that with the Spirit World that Senko comes from...it could've been more outstanding. It felt lacking in depth aside from there being clouds and screens that would appear whenever Lady Sora or Shiro would be peering through to see how Senko was holding up on Earth. For something like the Spirit World, I felt that the animators could've done more to make it look grand, but otherwise, no complaints on animation.

Lastly, characters. Nakano starts off as your typical downtrodden salaryman who gets yelled at by his boss or often is made to sleep in the office whenever he had to work overtime. But despite all of that, he is a good man. When Senko first comes into his life, he was unwilling to allow Senko to pamper him to a degree and later feels that he should do something in return for Senko's service. His relationship with Senko is also adorable. He gradually saw her as important to his overall life, and cares deeply for her. His attraction towards her tail is also hilarious with Senko allowing him to fluff it for a majority of the episodes' runtime.

Senko herself is a nice 800 year old fox demigod who volunteers to "cure" Nakano of the darkness due to some tie to his family. She is adorable; doting; and immensely determined. It isn't until later on in the anime where you get more into her reasons for helping Nakano, and it comes off as largely tragic. Just the fact that she wanted nothing in return for all of the care that she showers on Nakano is simply noble. 

Other characters such as Shiro and Kouenji also add a nice touch to the story. Shiro is a fox girl who is often self-absorbed because of how she takes great pride in her status and can often be childish and absolutely loves trolling others. But beneath that, Shiro truly does care for others such as with Senko. Kouenji is a university student who is Nakano's neighbor. She also comes off as bubbly and gets adorably excited over subjects that she enjoys. Her relationship with Shiro is odd, but at the same time kind of endearing. There was lastly Lady Sora/Yozora who serves as the two fox demigods' boss, but ironically is probably no bigger or slightly taller than both of them. She is seductive, flirtatious, and has this mysterious aura to her. As the anime reached its end, I was even suspecting her of being the show's main antagonist but in what way, I did not know. The only downside is that she is the least developed out of a relatively small cast, where I felt that there should've been more to her than what we had gotten.

Overall, The Helpful Fox Senko-san is one of those shows that while lacking in an overarching story nevertheless makes up for it by objectively being a cute show that anyone can watch when they're feeling down. 

               Score: 8.5/10

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