The Company of Thorin Oakenshield On Vacation
Fili is the first to get stopped in the metal detector for carrying knives
Ori also gets stopped but that’s just because he's wearing overalls
Bifur gets stopped at the metal detector too for obvious reasons, but he just sighs and waits for Bofur to pull his doctor’s note out
Nori’s carry on bag gets stopped because his bottle of hair gel is over the 100 ml limit
Stirs up a fuss when he won’t throw it away
Balin has to step in and resolve the conflict that’s literally his job description in Erebor
Kili looks at the arrival/departure screens and sees that a flight got canceled and just immediately assumes it was theirs
Convinces half the dwarves they need to go back before Bilbo actually bothers to double check
Gandalf claims he “accidentally” booked himself in first class while all the others are in economy although he honestly deserves it after the stress of trying to get every dwarf on the plane
Gandalf also “accidentally” booked all the dwarves seats in the very back of the plane
He gets a Thorin Glare™ when they figure this out
Kili claims he needs to sit by the window so he doesn’t get nauseous but really he just likes to look at the clouds (and stars!)
Oin is out COLD before the plane even takes off
The others pretend not to be jealous he can fall asleep so easily
Bombur usually falls asleep quickly but makes sure to stay awake because he’s excited for the free snacks is very disappointed when he realizes it’s only a tiny bag of pretzels
Gloin’s seat accidentally got switched so he’s sitting in the front of the plane next to a middle aged couple
He doesn’t care but soon gets them into a conversation about their children
Talks for hours about his own son Gimli(!!!)
The couple absolutely loves him and by the end of the flight Gloin gets invited to their daughter’s wedding
Fili reaches over and presses the call flight attendant button on Ori’s seat
Ori is extremely embarrassed and flustered when the flight attendant comes over and apologizes for bothering her so many times that it starts being awkward and the flight attendant just slowly backs away
Bilbo reads a book for the entire flight like the nerd he is
Bofur nearly gets kicked off the plane after trying to start a group song doesn’t understand why the other passengers wouldn’t join in
Dori claps when the plane lands
FIli and Kili join him as a joke and start cheering loudly
Dwalin hits the back of their seats but can’t do much more because security’s been watching him since he arrived
Thorin has the darkest circles under his eyes because this man has MAJOR insomnia
Tried to fall asleep the entire 10 hour flight and only got 5 consecutive minutes also couldn’t sleep the night before
Is officially in his Grumpy Cat Era™ because he hasn’t slept in 36 hours and is dealing with a LOT of travel stress
Falls asleep in the car on the way to the hotel
There aren’t enough seats in the rental car so they just stuff Fili and Kili in the trunk don’t worry it was their idea
Bilbo is driving
Gandalf tried to be the driver but his drivers license was revoked years ago
Balin tries to tell the company about cool landmarks they pass on the way to the hotel but everyone is so tired no one responds
He doesn’t seem to notice and will continue giving a history lesson the entire drive
Bilbo runs over a pothole and Fili and Kili hit the ceiling with a loud THWACK
No one bothers to check on them until they get to the hotel sorry not sorry
Bonus:
Thranduil and Legolas are the ones who wear full suits to get on an airplane Legolas tries to get out of this but is told he will be disowned if he wears sweats
They are also the kind of people who will get off of a 15 hour red eye looking fresher than a daisy
Have to avoid paparazzi in the airport
They bring Tauriel with them for crowd control
Can definitely afford a private plane but don’t get one because of the high carbon emissions remember elves are the biggest tree huggers
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The Hobbit Characters as . . .
Wrong number texts!
(Character as: R = RIGHT side of convo, L = LEFT side of the convo).
______________________________
Bilbo Baggins (R)
* * *
Kili Durin (R)
* * *
Fili Durin (R)
* * *
Thorin Oakenshield (R)
* * *
Dwalin (R)
* * *
Balin (R)
* * *
Bofur (R)
* * *
Nori (R)
* * *
Ori (R)
* * *
Dori (L)
* * *
_____________________________
Hey guys! Hope you enjoyed this fest of absurd texts that reminded me of our favourite lads! But, the journey doesn't end here... I have another two posts coming as well!
I hope this made you smile! ❤
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I love how most of the Hobbit (1977) characters look pretty decent compared to their modern counterparts. Like...
Good. Nice long beard, staff to not let them pass. Perfect for our favorite weed wizard. 10/10
Pretty decent. Looks a little bit like a human chipmunk, but he's doing his best and is cute in his own Hobbit way.
Snow white and the, like, 13 dwarves? 'can't blame them for going basic and at least they look like dwarves, so I'll let it pass
And then there's just...
...Oh God. Thranduil, what have they done to you?!
This...This is a criminal offense right here! Dwarf propaganda at it's finest!
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Bilbo: *bangs hip into a table corner* SHIT!
*silence*
Fili: Did Bilbo just-?
Kili: YOU CAN SWEAR!?
Bilbo: *Bent over a bit, holding his hip, brows furrowed* evidently?
Fili: Since when?!
Bilbo: ..you do know I’m an adult, right?
*Thorin walks in*
Kili: Uncle! Did you know Bilbo can swear!
Thorin: *looks to Bilbo in disbelief* since when?
Bilbo: NONE of you have-!! Fuck this, nevermind
*walks away*
Others: *left in shock*
*silence*
Fili: ..he knows more then one?
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