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#the heart wrenching emotional roller coaster which it brings
valkyriesryde · 3 years
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Does the enemies to lovers trope really exist out of fanfiction because I’m yet to actually see it done well in other media types
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cjs-51703 · 3 years
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Title: In Death, She Brings Life
Anime: Death Parade
Characters: Decim, Nona, OC
Rating: K+
Enjoy :)
(If anyone has any interest in drawing said OC, let me know... I can write, but I can't draw to save my life...)
--XxX--
Decim could hear the steady sound of skating blades cutting into the ice rink from where he cleaned his bar. The previous guests had left him and his new assistant a bit shaken; even having worked as an arbiter for twenty-one years now, there was still the occasional guest that really rattled him.
Normally, those types of games wound up with a mess left in their wake. He didn't mind that as much as he minded the fact that his assistant also had to witness it. Once he finished cleaning, he went to the ice rink section of the Quindecim and stood by to watch.
A slender, young woman with pale skin glided across the ice with ease. Her chin-length, jet-black hair swung this way and that as she turned and jumped across the ice, revealing something she normally kept hidden by brushing her hair to cover her right eye. Her left eye bore the cross of an arbiter.
Her right eye didn't.
However, it wasn't that which had Decim concerned at the moment. "You know my rules for when you skate, Miuna," he said simply.
Whatever trance the young woman, Miuna, was in was broken, and she skated over. "I'm sorry, Dad... but you know why I didn't bother with them this time," she reasoned.
"I'm more than aware that you're still adjusting to being an arbiter; it's only been two weeks since you began," Decim said. He picked up the skate guards that were on the rinkside and held them out as Miuna got off of the ice. "But still, I hold my rules in place for reasons. You must remove your work uniform and your piercings before you skate," Decim continued.
Miuna removed her skates and put the guards on them. She stood up, and luckily, her uniform hadn't been damaged. The white button-up, black tie, and black slacks were all fine. The silver piercing on her lip and the silver stud earrings she'd worn ever since Clavis had done them were also still in place.
"You left something at the bar when you went to relieve your stress," Decim said. "My hair clip. Is it still at the bar?" Miuna asked. Decim gently pushed her to sit down, amd he sat next to her as he methodically swept her hair back over her unmarked eye, then placed a clip in it to keep it in place. The clip was golden, with the Quindecim emblem as the charm on it.
"Do we have any more guests coming today?" Miuna asked. "One more pair will be coming later. Afterwards, I will make dinner for us," Decim said. Afterwards, he wrapped his arms around Miuna. "I'll speak to your aunt Nona about the guests she has Quin send," he said.
That was something that Miuna liked—her father could always tell just when she needed comfort, even if he wasn't the best at giving it. Miuna wrapped her arms around Decim, resting her head against his chest. The scent of his shower gel and the scent of mixed drinks hit her. The scent of childhood.
"Thanks, Dad."
XxX
"You rarely call for me. Was it about what I had Castra send to you and Miuna?" As per usual, Nona cut to the chase.
Decim had been waiting at his bar for her to arrive after he'd called for her. Miuna had long since gone to her room for the night, and no more guests were scheduled for the day. "Yes, ma'am," Decim said. Nona hopped up on a barstool, and Decim began making her regular drink.
"I'm sorry, but you've eafned your qualification to judge murderers beyond those two I sent before Miuna came along. You were the one who also said that younwanted her to begin judging alongside you once she turned sixteen. I can't help her reactions to it. These people are dead; they're bound to have darkness in their memories," Nona explained. Once her usual drink was poured, she took a sip.
"She's my daughter. I can't help but be worried for her. If there is any possibility that I could have less gruesome murders, that would be much appreciated," Decim reasoned.
That was something Nona missed back from when Decim was still new; he listened to her a lot better. Still, she remained partial to him.
"Does she still sleep in Chiyuki's old room?" Nona asked, idly swirling her drink. Decim's stoicism softened, if only a little bit. "Yes," he said.
They both knew why Miuna had never met her mother. Chiyuki's body had already been a bit frail from lingering in the Quindecim for so long when the black-haired woman told Decim that she was expecting a child. How it was possible was a surprise to them both. But, then again, Decim did still need to eat, sleep, amd use the restroom, so perhaps he and Chiyuki should have considered the possibility.
In the end, the strain of having her daughter wound up taking Chiyuki from who she considered her husband by that time. "What I said that night still stands. Your original ruling was reincarnation, so that was what happened to her," Nona said.
That night had been an emotional roller coaster for her as well—she had been the one to deliver Miuna and had earned her title as an aunt. her heart had wrenched when Decim's silent tears of joy at becoming a father became sobs of despair at realizing that his wife was gone. Nona had spent the night in the Quindecim and regularly made visits in-person for a few weeks afterwards, rather than just observing from afar.
The petite arbiter finished her drink and hopped off of her chair. "Get some rest, Decim. You've got work in the morning," she said.
Decim couldn't quite bring his eyes to look at her as she walked towards the elevator. "Yes, ma'am."
XxX
Chiyuki's mannequin laid on its side, wearing a nightgown that had been hand-stitched. Around her neck was a leather cord with a silver band on it. Decim wore the same leather cord and band around his neck, but beneath his uniform. He laid down next to the mannequin. It was by no means the same, but it would do.
"I hope that she will last long enough to see her mother, reincarnated," Decim murmured. His slender fingers ran through coarse, fake black hair. He fell asleep with those thoughts.
Someday, she'll get to love you as I do.
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kookieskiwi · 4 years
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Hi! Can I request ot7 mafia au! x reader with the situasion of panic attack "we're here baby take a breath for us". Kookieskiwi I hope you're doing well btw I like your new drabble and I'm in love with it and its make me want more Im sorry 😭. I love you 😘💜
(Akbdiandhe I screamed when I got this notification ❤️ I’m doing really good, thank you for your concern 🥺💕 i try really hard to write things my readers want to read so I’m extremely happy that you liked my recent Drabble 🥺✨ don’t apologize for wanting more! You have no idea how happy it makes me to write for you guys ❤️ and even more so when it’s because you liked one of my previous works so much! I love you so much more and remember ‘you nice keep going’ my lovely 💜😘🤩)
This is the last Drabble they are referring to btw
WARNING: MENTIONS OF A PANIC ATTACK AND MURDER, if these topics are triggering for you I suggest you don’t read this!
-
Today wasn’t a good day for you at all. The boys left before you had even woken up for a deal they had been planning for months now leaving you to spend the entire day alone. You understood they were business men of sorts and with that occupation came ungodly hours of work which often left you alone. But being alone wasn’t that much of a problem because you always had contact with the boys somehow wether it be a simple text message or a quick phone call.
But now, in the early hours of the next morning when you hadn’t heard from them all day; you weren’t okay at all. You kept your phone near you at all times; when you showered, went to the bathroom, cooked dinner for all of you only to put the rest in the fridge, but ultimately you did nothing but lay around the house hoping to hear a ‘ding’ from your phone which never came.
They had been gone for 24 hours without a single word. From midnight to three am you had been calling guards and those who worked under them in case they had any knowledge of their whereabouts but all came back negative. They had been gone for days before but never without checking in every few hours or so to let you know they were okay. Sometimes it was simply a heart emoji or a ‘love you’ which was enough to let you know they were okay.
“Are you sure you haven’t heard anything from them?” You asked one of their subordinates from the agency. “No ma’am, the last we heard from them was right before they left. We’ve been searching everywhere and hacking into security footage around town but they’re good at what they do, they won’t be found easily.” He responded telling you everything you already knew. They were the best of the best when it came to everything including secrecy. Which was great, until now.
“Thank you Soobin, please keep an ear and eye out in case you see or hear anything from them.” You told him sighing, “will do Noona, until then please don’t make any rash decisions. Stay home and if they don’t check in within the next few hours I’ll send someone to get you and bring you to the HQ.” He informed you of his plan which you agreed to easily, it’d be much better being alone with people around as odd as that may seem. You were alone without the loves of your life and without knowing if they were okay or not.
It was now 5 am and they hadn’t checked in with anyone and no one knew of their whereabouts. You tried holding in your tears as the gut wrenching feeling that something had gone wrong hit it was hard not to let a tear fall. Trekking up the stairs to your shared bedroom you didn’t want to see the empty bed so you walked slowly hoping that before you got to the top of the stairs they would come rushing through the door and they’d be safe in your arms once again.
You were tired and worried which was never a good mix for you. The fear of losing the ones you loved the most got to you on the last step of the staircase before you came tumbling down both emotionally and physically. You tried clutching onto the railing to keep you stabilized but it failed as your body crumpled onto the stairs curling yourself into a ball and you resting your head in your hands.
Your stomach felt as if it you were one a roller coaster at the tip top before it fell. The anxiety you had build up during the day was the roller coaster and the falling was you right now. All the way to rock bottom. Your sobs filled the room while you tried to comfort yourself by curling even further into your own body. “Please let them be okay, god please.” You prayed knowing it was the only thing you could do now besides wait. The simple thought of them not making it back home was enough to throw you into a downward spiral.
Ringing in your ears began to drown out the sound of your own cries and please that you were no longer controlling. Your head began to ache with a fuzz which clouded your thoughts and filled your head. Your throat was on fire from crying, you were shaking like a leaf in the wind, you couldn’t hear anything but the blood thrumming through your veins but none of that mattered. No, all that mattered to you was your boys who weren’t here and that was the worst part.
Clutching your pounding head you tried breathing but you couldn’t, you couldn’t do anything but lie there letting yourself fade into your own emotions. Your chest ached as if your heart had physically shattered from the agony of not knowing and knowing you were helpless in this situation.
“Please be okay, please come home to me. I promise to love you for the rest of our lives, I love you all so much God please let them come back home.” You pleaded with your eyes screwed shut. You felt like you were drowning in your own tears, the inability to catch your breath being the main factor in this feeling but your whole body felt under some sort of pressure.
That was until you felt a much heavier pressure on top of that, the numbness you had felt overcome your body slowly went away with the ringing in your ears which allowed you to come to an understanding of what exactly that pressure was.
A person.
Opening your eyes you tried to see but everything was blurry, your tears kept falling no matter how hard you tried to stop. “We’re here baby. Take a breath for us please.” It was Yoongi. Your Yoongi. And he said ‘We’re’ meaning they are all home. Choking on your sobs once again you reach out to him and anyone near you to hold them as close as possible.
“You’re- home.” You sobbed into his chest as him arms reached around you to pull you further into his embrace. You let everything else out in tears of relief. They were home. Alive. Safe. The more you cried the less intense your sobs got and the more you could breath even though it was still hard to regulate your body. “Please never do that again.” Your voice cracked as you squeezed Jimin’s hand in yours sighing but still hiccuped as you tried to calm down.
“We won’t baby. I promise because we are retiring from that job.” Namjoon told you coming close to your face to wipe the tears away, he held your face between his calloused hands which you leaned into, craving to feel him; all of them. “W-what?” You asked confused, you thought you heard correctly but you weren’t sure. After coming down from such an intense panic attack you didn’t know what was real and what was part of your imagination. “We are here, for there rest of out lives. Just you and us. No more late night jobs, no more trades that make us leave for days, none of it anymore. Just us, settling down and staring the family we’ve always wanted.” He explained further making you want to sob even more knowing all your nights of worrying were coming to an end.
You couldn’t help but let a few more tears slip as you smile at them, crying now from the sheer thought of having all of them home safe and sound. “I love you all so much, I was so scared.” You told them shutting your eyes closed once again to cry a little more. “I’m so sorry baby, we were ambushed and we lost all connection with you and the agency. We couldn’t risk them finding our home, finding you, so we hide and we couldn’t contact anyone in fear they had the entire city’s phone system tapped to listen in.” Hoseok told you helping you stand up on your shaky legs only for him to pick you up like a koala and to have you cling to him for dear life.
“Did you kill them? Because if you didn’t I will.” You mumbled looking at the six others who followed behind Hoseok as he walked with you in his arms to the bedroom. They all let out a simultaneous chuckle and you could feel the warmth re-enter your body at the sound. These were the men you loved and lived for. “We did baby, don’t worry.” Taehyung told you with his signature boxy smile as if you weren’t just talking about murder making you giggle.
Hoseok laid you on the bed softly and kept you in his embrace as the others changed and showered before handing you to Jin who kissed all over your face as he helped you shower and relax by massaging you with the bath oils and soap.
After everyone was cleaned and dressed you were tucked into bed between all of your lovers but sandwiched between Jungkook and Jimin. You were in the bed that would no longer be empty when you woke up for went to sleep because you’d have your lovers right beside you for the rest of your life. And you couldn’t be happier at the thought of that.
“What do you say about getting married?”
-
...I’m smelling an epilogue or part two if requested 😏 maybe some brief baby making on their honeymoon?
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sunshinesukuna · 4 years
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spray paint and carousels (bad boy!ushijima wakatoshi x reader)
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pairing: badboy!ushijima wakatoshi x reader
genre: fluff
inspiration: teen beach movie (2013, dir. Jeffrey Hornaday)
askskflshdjajsa someone take me on a date like this
It was around 12 o’clock when you received his text. Everyone was sure to be asleep by now, but you didn’t want to take any chances. If you were caught, Wakatoshi would take the brunt of the punishment –something you definitely didn’t want to happen. You opened up the window and scurried down the apple tree outside. 
Wakatoshi was already outside, leaning on his Harley. Boy, did he look good. Combat boots rested snugly over black denim and a leather jacket. He put away his phone once he saw you coming around. His eyes raked you up and down. 
“You look good,” he said. You scoffed. 
“I threw this together in five minutes, Wakatoshi, I must look like shit right now.” He handed you a helmet before pressing a kiss on your jaw. Your felt your heart go wild. This boy was going to be the death of you someday.
“No you don’t.” He put on his own helmet. “Tendo and Semi are meeting us in,” he checked his Jaeger watch, “thirty minutes.” 
“Then we’d better get a move on.” 
You hopped on the motorcycle, wrapping your arms around Ushijima’s large midriff. The only thing separating your hands and his rock hard abs right now was a thin white shirt. Your mouth watered.
“Are you ready?” he asked. You nodded. 
Together, he revved off into the night. By now, the usually busy streets were devoid of any pedestrians. City lights twinkled from a distance, the occasional red light giving you time to stop and admire them. The sound of the motorcycle engine was the only evidence of life in miles. You smiled against Wakatoshi’s back. 
“Someone’s happy,” he said. He chuckled. 
“I’m just happy to be here with you, Toshi.” You kissed his shoulder blade.
He pulled up at the gates fifteen minutes later. The gates were rusted, and looked like they used to be part of an amusement park. The lights on the sign were cracked and dusty, with peeling paint on them.  A familiar shock of red and brown hair were leaning on the gates. The leather jackets and motorcycles parked on the other side let you know exactly who they were. 
“Tendou, Shirabu,” he greeted. “Where are Semi and the others?” Shirabu looked over to the side.
“Oh, hey Wakatoshi,” Tendo said. “They’re over there trying to bre– HI (Y/N)!” Tendou enveloped you in a bear hug. 
“Hi, Tendou.” You looked over to where the other boys, Reon, Semi, and Goshiki were trying to break a lock with two wrenches. 
“Ah, (Y/N), do you have a bobby pin or something?” Reon calls out. You hurriedly pull one out from your hair and give it to them. With a few wiggles of the pin, the lock had opened. The chains on the gate had dropped to the ground. 
The boys whooped in joy as they ran inside. “Come on, (Y/N), Wakatoshi. If you guys are late, there won’t be any good spots left,” Tendo said before joining his boys.
You held out a hand to Wakatoshi. “Shall we?” you asked. He smiled and took your small hand in his. 
The boys were already getting to work inside. Some were fooling around on cracked roller coaster seats, and some of the others were putting spray paint on old displays. Someone had the great idea of bringing snacks, which you capitalized on quickly. 
The scent of popcorn and spray paint were sending you into a new dimension. That, coupled with the adrenaline of it all, made it feel like this was what your life was meant to be. Strict parents and curfews were non-existent thoughts in your head right now. All you could focus on was the euphoria of youth surrounding you. 
You were laughing with the boys when someone called your name. It was Wakatoshi. He was beckoning you over somewhere.
Wakatoshi led you onto an old carousel that had not aged well. Shards of glass from the lightbulbs sat on the ground, covered in a fine layer of dust. The old horses and elephants that had used to carry children’s smiles and laughter now looked like an ominous reflection of their past selves. It was far enough from the other boys that you could have a private conversation. Truth be told, it kind of creeped you out. But here you sat with your lover, wondering what he was going to do with you.
“I’m sorry,” he suddenly says. You furrow your eyes in confusion. 
“For what?” He hasn’t done anything wrong to you as far as you remember. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Wakatoshi wasn’t simply a break from the rigorous demands of school and clubs, he was...your entire world. Your entire world, sitting quietly between your hands, his head on top of yours. 
“I’m sorry for not being the boyfriend you want.” He pauses for a while. “You deserve someone better than me, (Y/N).” 
“Wakatoshi,” you cup his face in your hands. “You’re already the best one for me. If this is about my parents... I don’t care much for that, Wakatoshi.” He doesn’t meet your eyes. 
“You take care of me, Wakatoshi. I love you, and you love me. Isn’t that what matters at the end?” you ask. 
“I suppose so,” he says, before enveloping you in a deep kiss. This kiss isn’t like the soft pecks you’ve shared on his motorcycle or behind the school after 4th period. This kiss has you reeling into Wakatoshi, like you’re being slapped by a wave of all his emotions and yours mixing into one. It was filled with fervor and all things wanton that shouldn’t be in your mind, called up to the front and center of your thoughts by Wakatoshi’s mere lips. You can feel him smile against your lips.
When he pulls away, you press a finger to his lips. “Tell you what, I have an idea,” you say. “Wait here.” You run off to find a can of spray paint and come back to Wakatoshi. 
“Your signature here, please,” you say. Wakatoshi chuckles and goes on with your wishes. Your signature is under his. A fat X separates the two names.
You take a photo of the heart at the center of the carousel, now embedded with: 
Ushijima Wakatoshi X (Y/N) (L/N), together forever.
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this-solaris-life · 4 years
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Oh, I'm going to make you work hard (like, I want to cry). Can I get #24 from the Angsty Prompt list for WangXian?
This was challenging! Considering I actually can’t picture this couple sad and my writer’s heart is made for fluff. I hope that you enjoy my attempt!
Fifteen minutes. That’s how long it’d taken for everything that they’d built together to come crumbling down. The past year that they’d been in this marriage contract had proved that he and Lan Zh-..Lan Wangji were perfect for one another. It’d been so bad at first with the two of them clashing over the smallest things but then the two of them had grown so close. Lan Wangji had opened up about the loneliness he’d felt and how he actually cared about him. After that, he’d been able to relax and stop being so spiteful about being married to the man.
Wei Wuxian had fallen hopelessly in love with Lan Wangji despite the contract. He thought that Lan Wangji had felt the same. The way he’d behaved after he’d confessed had been so telling to him. But like all the good things in Wei Wuxian’s life it was ripped from him. He’d gotten a call from Lan Wangji telling him that he was on his way home and he’d be there in fifteen minutes. Wei Wuxian had been so excited but then he’d never arrived. Two hours went by and Lan Xichen had finally called to tell him what happened.
“I thought Su She had called you, A-Xian. I’m sorry.” Lan Xichen’s quivering voice said. “He must have forgotten but Wangji was in an accident. He’s in surgery now. I’ve sent Lan Mayleen to come pick you up.”
“Please keep me updated.” He replied back before the two of them had hung up and he’d waited for his brother-in-law’s driver to arrive. The two ride there had been a roller coaster of emotions for him. His stomach twisting as he thought of the worst possible outcomes. If He was honest now, he hadn’t been prepared for what happened next. By the time that he got there Lan Wangji had gotten out of surgery and in less than four hours he’d woken. So of course when he is arguing with Su She that Lan Wangji wakes up and they discover that he’s lost his memories of the past two years.
The man who’d become warm and open with him was gone. It’d been replaced by a rather stoic and cold man. Wei Wuxian had tried to explain the argument but Lan Wangji had kicked him out of the room after telling him that Su She had explained everything about their marriage. Wei Wuxian had left only to keep his husband from getting more agitated after the surgery. He’d planned to go back but found that Meng Yao was waiting for him on the porch the next morning. Apparently, Lan Wangji had gone ahead and contacted him last night. From his hospital bed he’d ordered Meng Yao to draft their divorce papers. In the papers he’d agreed to continue paying for Jiang Cheng’s treatments, give him alimony, and the house that he currently lived in. Wei Wuxian had wanted to fight it but then he’d seen where Lan Wangji had actually signed it himself. It wasn’t Su She’s approved version. 
It’d broken his heart to see it. The settlement was good and gracious but the fight he’d gendured for the love they’d shared was more worth it to him. He and his brother hadn’t been broke before and they wouldn’t go broke with this. Wei Wuxian had told Meng Yao that he wouldn’t divorce Lan Wangji with him having just come out of surgery. He would take care of his husband to the best of his abilities. 
And god’s he’d tried so hard to take care of him. But the post-surgery version of Lan Wangji was so cruel to him. The person he knew at the start of their marriage hadn’t been this bad. Wei Wuxian had tried to keep the faith that his Lan Zhan would come back but he didn’t. The silence, cutting comments, blatant disrespect against him, Lan Wangji’s flirting with Su She, and the isolation was so hard and painful. But the moment that broke him was when he was at a dinner with Lan Wangji’s family and he’d disrespected Jiang Cheng. The treatments were so hard on him and he’d had to leave shortly after arriving. Thankfully, Lan Xichen had offered to take him home.So, he hadn’t been present when Lan Wangji made the horrid comment about Jiang Cheng looking like a corpse.
Wei Wuxian had tossed the silk napkin onto his plate then stood up. He wouldn’t stay in this marriage a moment longer. It’d been six months and this was utter hell. Wen Ning had been right to tell him that he was holding onto a dream. His Lan Zhan was gone. He needed to wake up and this was it.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Lan Wangji dared to ask after roughly grabbing his forearm. His gaze filled with annoyance and a scowl on his face. 
“You don’t deserve the answer, Lan Wangji.” Wei Wuxian responded coldly. His gaze sharpened and dropped to his arm. “Let go of me. Now.”  
When Lan Wangji didn’t obey him. Wei Wuxian wrenched his arm from him. He felt the sting of tears coming to his eyes. All the pain and rage coming to the front. “Don’t. You. Ever. Touch. Me. Again. I’m such a fool to think that I’d get my Lan Zhan back! That the monster that came home to me would leave. But alas this...“He gestured to Lan Wangji’s entire being “..is what stayed. I’ve gone through so much because of you and I even tried to be your friend if that’s what you needed.” He yelled not caring that they were in Lan Qiren’s house anymore. The dinner had been just another way for Lan Wangji to punish him for choosing to stay and it gave Lan Qiren the ability to do it too. “Not even that earned a smidge of kindness. All I got was unfiltered disdain and disrespect which I can take but I will not let you talk that way about my brother!“ He pointed his finger at the golden eyed man. “Lan Wangji, I did not choose you. You chose me and I wish you’d never come into our lives.” 
“Wei W-” Lan Wangji started to stay as Wei Wuxian turned to leave. He stepped forward grabbing Wei Wuxian’s arm again. 
“I said do not touch me. ” This time Wei Wuxian didn’t hold back getting his arm free again. His tears finally fell and he shoved Lan Wangji back hard enough that he slipped, falling backwards. His head made a sound as it hit the floor. His heart ached something fierce but Wei Wuxian made himself turn around. He would never again help the man. A look of confusion mixed with a little bit of blood on the hand that had reached to check his head. 
“We are done.  He didn’t stop even as Lan Wangji shouted his name. 
He didn’t go back to their home. No, he went to his brother’s. Lan Xichen had tried to get him to forgive him but it was the last straw. All the pieces of his heart he’d given to Lan Wangji had been broken and turned to dust. The next morning he’d made the call to Meng Yao telling him to bring the divorce papers. He’d signed them without hesitation this time. He wasn’t going to stay where he wasn’t wanted and where his brother would be mistreated. 
Wei Wuxian wasn’t a man to do anything by halves. The only person he allowed into his life connected to Lan Wangji was Lan Xichen and that was because the gentle man had fallen in love with his younger brother. Jiang Cheng had never been happier to have the man with him and it wasn’t Lan Xichen’s fault that Lan Wangji was the way that he was now. Two years rolled by and in that time Wei Wuxian had forced himself to move on. He had to or he was going to drown. In doing that he realized that his feelings for Wen Ning ran deeper than just friends and the two of them began dating. 
He thought he’d feel something when Lan Wangji’s memories came back. It’d taken four years by then and it was four year too late. Wei Wuxian sighed as he listened to Lan Xichen explain and ask him to meet Lan Wangji at MianMian’s coffee shop.
“You should go.” Wen Ning said with a kiss to the top of Wei Wuxian’s head as the latter tossed his phone on the high-top kitchen table. “At least for closure.”
“I don’t want too.” Wei Wuxian pouted before pulling Wen Ning into his lap. 
“He wants to apologize. You don’t have to forgive him but you owe to yourself to hear him say the words.” Wen Ning said cupping Wei Wuxian’s cheek.  Wei Wuxian still didn’t want to go but he knew that he would because his boyfriend was right. He did deserve to hear the apology.
“Fine but I want my jalapeno poppers to be extra spicy tonight and I want some emperor's smile.” Wei Wuxian sighed. 
“Of course.” Wen Ning laughed before Wei Wuxian pulled him into a kiss.
He’d gotten several more rather delicious kisses from his boyfriend before he headed out to meet Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian had wrapped the red and white scarf that Wen Ning had made him around his neck along with his tan peacoat. He didn’t mind that the wind had messed with his hair. Honestly, he didn’t plan to stay long. However, by the coffee cup placed in front of the empty seat across from Lan Wangji said a different story. 
“Wei Ying.” Lan Wangji greeted him and the sound of his birth name had him feeling bristled a bit. 
“Lan Wangji.” Wei Wuxian greeted him in return. He inwardly rolled his eyes at how Lan Wangji had stood up to greet him. Wei Wuxian sat down and kept his hands in his pockets fidgeting with the little toys that A-Yuan had snuck into them. Lan Wangji sat down with an awkward embarrassed expression on his face mixed with sorrow.
“Wei Yi-”
“Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji, my birth name is for my family only.” Wei Wuxian cut him off. He didn’t want to hear Lan Wangji use it again. To hear it a moment ago only light a fire that was fueling anger. 
“Wei Wuxian.” Lan Wangji said after a moment then went into apologizing. To Wei Wuxian it all sounded so scripted and he had to resist the urge to roll his eyes again. He was over Lan Wangji. It’d taken so long to build the good life he had now. He’d spent countless nights at the beginning thinking of the what ifs and should have beens between them. Hearing Lan Wangji tripping over himself over the time he’d lost was nothing but old baggage and Wei Wuxian wasn’t going to waste time on it. The annoyance and the past anger rose up in his chest.
“How much did it hurt you to know you lost me?” Wei Wuxian asked abruptly. 
Lan Wangji blinked for a moment. Wei Wuxian was sure it was because of his sharp tone. “I felt like my heart was being crushed.” 
“Crushed?” Wei Wuxian huffed in  amusement and disbelief. The memory of the pain, the fear, the regret,  and sleepless nights “You know I used to miss you despite all the pain you put me through? It used to hurt so bad I could barely stand it, but then I would remember that the man I used to love was gone. As time passed I stopped missing you, Lan Wang, I moved on.”
“I…”
“You should too.” Wei Wuxian said, standing up and without looking back left the coffee shop.
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alexrosekey · 5 years
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My Albert Wesker RE rec list
So i’m fairly new to Resident Evil fandom (only since March- after the release of R2make). To celebrate Resident Evil month i’ve created this list of some of the best Resident fanfic i’ve read so far and want to introduce to more people. All of these fics include Albert Wesker- my favorite character whom i believe deserve better characterization and these fics sastify it. I really recommend you guys to check them out. Note that some of the stories may change some canon details and timeline but overall everything else is canon compliance.
1.The Serpent by The Unholy Trio
Raw, heart-breaking and oh-so-human is how i describe this beautiful fic. I believe this fic is quite popular but i still want to include it in my list. This fic shed a new light to our favourite protagonists of the series- Chris, Jill and Wesker. The author has managed to bring out both the light and the dark within each of them as well as highlight the conflicts among our trio. For how one dimensional he is in most media, this fic flesh him out in the most unexpected way i could imagine by giving him all the human qualities and emotions which bring the well-deserved depth to his character. To summarize it, the story dwell into an alternate timeline where Wesker succeed with his Uroboros plan and wipe out the humanity, only him, Jill, Chris as well as a small number of people remain. An emotional roller-coaster where all souls are tested and personal prices are paid. (contain Weskertine and Valenfield)
2. God’s Child by Riot Siren (available on Ao3 also)
This fic is based on the original ending of Wesker’s Report I: what if Wesker got to Sherry Birkin before the US government? This is one of the very first Resident Evil fic that i read and till this day it remains one of the best fic i’ve ever read among other stories and other fandoms. It follows the journey of Sherry Birkin under the guardian of Albert Wesker himself in the world of violence, madness and B.O.Ws, how her relationship with him transform her from a well-protected, somewhat naive young girl into an experienced woman. To start with, this fic contains Wesker/Sherry. I know this is an unconventional ship, at first I was uncertain cause obviously the age gap between them (Wesker is older than her fking dad @.@) However the more I read the more i got suck in, thanks to the author’s amazing writing style. This fic brings you into the dark, mysterious world of bio-terrorism with plots and schemes and dramas. God’s child is so good that I wish it was canon. The best thing about this fic is how the author let us have a look into canonical events from the perspective of the dark side (namely Wesker, Sherry, Excella and even Alex Wesker) The fresh look into the inner working of all the terrible plans from the villains combine with how Sherry is influenced and change within story is one of the most notable thing about this fic. And Wesker, through the brilliant writing of Riot, appear much more terrifying, intimidating but also more intimate and realistic than ever. A true page turner to me!
3. Why Power Is A Must by FromPrussiaWithLove
Even until now, we know little about Wesker, who he really is, how and why he became the iconic villain of Resident Evil franchise that we all love. The source materials include game, novel and extra contents only provide us with little information about the true character of Albert Wesker, the most notable thing that explains why he is who he is is The Wesker Project. Many writers of RE fandom have attempted to create their own versions of the becoming of Albert Wesker- former Umbrella researcher turn agent turn traitor and eventually a notorious bioterroist. However this fic stand out as one of the best version to me.
The story begin with Jake Muller and his acquisition of Wesker’s journal from Chris Redfield, which mark the beginning of one of the most heart-wrenching fanfic I’ve ever encountered. By using the journal as the center, the author has brilliantly give us a glimpse into the inner thinking and emotion of Albert Wesker, from when he was just a young 17-year-old man until the last years of his life. Along with Jake, we slowly unravel the reason why Wesker turn to the dark side throughout many events that has changed him over the years, how his life has been manipulated by Spencer. In short, how he was force to become a beast without humanity by Spencer. (I’m not the only one who believe Wesker is not the bad guy all the time right?) One of my favourite thing about Why Power Is A Must is how the fic portray Jake’s mother. Little is known about her from the canon besides the fact that she came to America in her early 20s where she met Albert and became pregnant with his child around 1991-1992 before going back to Edonia. There has been many assumptions about her and what played out between her and Albert in the fandom, some of them somewhat turn into headcanons. What I like about this fic is instead of following these extremely popular headcanons, the author chose to explore a different scenario between Albert Wesker and Jake’s mom, and used her character as a plausible explanation on why Albert was corrupted. Her love story with him has set the tragic tone for the entire installment. In this fic we see an Albert Wesker who desperately tried to cling on to his own human side yet failed because of the weight of all the tragedies that had happened in his life combine with his lack of control of his own destiny (thanks to dear old Spencer yay…) To sum up this fic I will quote what Chris Redfield says before giving Jake the journal:
Albert Wesker was a strong- noble man, who was corrupted with contempt for humanity, but I find myself loathing him from time to time. He was a natural leader to me, but I cannot forgive him for all the lives that he has wasted- took- without a second thought. When it came to the end, there was no way to bring him back. He was too far gone, too damage, too volatile
Update as of February 27, 2024: This fic has been deleted from fanfiction.net. Fortunately I've been able to obtain a copy. If you want to read this fic, please DM me.
Well that’s the end of my list, however if you’re a fan of Jill x Wesker ship I have one more fic for you >_o
100 Days A Slave by SiennaValentine
Tag: heavy smut, Jill’s perspective, non-con element, nonlinear narrative, tragedy
(I’m sleepy so even though I have A LOT to talk about this fic I will stop and go to sleep)
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annabellemit2150 · 4 years
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Top 5 Most Entertaining Cast Members from Bachelor in Paradise Season 6
This list will rank my personal favourites from this past season of the women’s television summertime staple, Bachelor in Paradise; the contestants who caused drama, made audiences laugh, found love, and/or drank a little too much.
5. Dylan Barbour
Dylan originated from Hannah Brown’s season of The Bachelorette earlier this year. This time around, he had his eyes on a different Hannah— Hannah G. Dylan was instantly smitten with Hannah G., even though she didn’t immediately reciprocate his feelings. She took him on an emotional roller coaster the first half of the season, but Dylan was always patient. Once she committed, the two of them were locked in. Dylan earned his spot on this list from the way that audiences fell in love with him and his carefree personality. He is relatable, charming, care-free, and has a sense of humour. Him and Hannah got engaged at the end of the season, making them possibly the best looking couple alive.
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4. Jordan Kimball
Jordan is on this list because of the fact that he truly lives in his own world, and everyone else is just living in it, in the best way. After his time of Becca’s season of The Bachelorette, fans either loved to hate or hate to love him. But after his first stint in Paradise the previous summer, he was an instant fan-favourite, but got his heart broken in the end. His return to the beach this season was short; he was kicked off of the show due to a physical fight over a piñata. However, his strong opinions on fashion, modelling and others’ behaviour make him so entertaining. His beach commentary with Demi was a highlight of the season. Similar to Chef Gordon Ramsay, Jordan is arrogant and likeable, and you never know what he will say next.
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3. Demi Burnett
Demi’s one-liners alone could have carried a season of any reality television show. Her quick wit and bluntness made her undeniably charming. She serves as the perfect narrator for a show so ridiculous as this one. All jokes aside, Demi made history this summer when she became the first member of Bachelor Nation to enter a same-sex relationship. Demi was conflicted if she should stay with her beach fling, Derek, or leave Paradise for the girl she was briefly dating before the show, Kristian. The show decided to bring Kristian to the beach, where her and Demi could continue their relationship. This storyline showed Demi’s more mature side, and her struggles with coming out. This emotional storyline broadened the Bachelor franchise’s boundaries of inclusivity, while Demi also kept her wits about her and became an all-time, franchise favourite.
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2. John Paul Jones
The fact that this man goes by his full name at all times is enough to garner him a spot on the most entertaining list. John Paul Jones, often referred to as JPJ, is hyperactive and hysterical, but also possesses an extremely deep and intellectual side. JPJ bounced from frolicking around the beach in a denim speedo, throwing up spicy tacos, reciting Shakespearean sonnets, and fighting with Derek at a wedding. His relationship with Tayshia came as a surprise to many; the two are polar opposites, but together they were hilariously sweet. JPJ unpredictability makes him a favourite amongst fans, and his quirky personality makes for the perfect social media presence. His fight with Derek caused some fans to turn on him, due to his immature reactions, but the “Paradise Prom” he threw and his heart wrenching reaction to his breakup got him back into the good graces with fans. It all worked out in the end for JPJ, when Tayshia flew to his hometown after filming to get back together with him.
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1. Whoever Wrote Chris Bukowski’s Lower Thirds
Anyone who knows the show knows that Chris Bukowski is the record holder for amount of appearances on any Bachelor show. He officially retired after his last Paradise stint, but with no luck in the love department, came back for another shot. Producers had fun on his lower thirds, including every season he had ever been on, running off of the space, while other contestants had their sole season displayed. Once his lower thirds became a Twitter meme, producers would change what they said every week, with fans looking more forward to each one. Regardless of which contestant was your favourite, anyone who watches this show could collectively agree that Chris B.’s lower thirds made them laugh out loud every time.
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clamsuup · 6 years
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September 14th
Today’s sudden inspirational quote is: “You have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want.”
I have finally physically situated myself here in Davis as it has been two nights. I guess it doesn’t feel too scary this time--is it because I have done this twice already or things actually feel right this time? Or perhaps, both. I guess that is going to be the time allotted towards this new upcoming chapter in my life. 
I wanted to share my news of my Davis acceptance sometime last month, when I first found out, but then life just happened. With one thing leading up to another, it was this roller-coaster of emotions and people. Yes, emotions and people. What a great combination, right? Well, I believe some part of that brief and crazy journey in the last 2-3 weeks is over now. And here I am.
Here I am in my very own room, for the first time ever. I got pretty lucky with this place despite having a lot of last minute fallouts with two other places. This one literally came out of nowhere. Best of all, the process was smooth and quick. I didn’t realize my room would be this huge, but wow is it...huge. I literally can fit another long, standard couch right now if I wanted to, and this is already with a very long desk table, a full size bed, and a twin extra long futon here. Second best part? I get all the sunshine coming from my window and it’s just beautiful. I had the mindset of coming here to find a single room, but I never thought I would land a huge room for such a wonderful price. I guess this is another “luck” ever since I’ve been accepted into UC Davis.
I also want to share about my orientation experience even though it has been long overdue. Well..all I can say is I have fallen in love with Davis. That I didn’t expect for myself either. I am proud that I drove up there all by myself, attended the orientation for 8 hours, and made new friends! Ahh! My god, this orientation certainly exceeded all of my expectations given how awful Chapman and Pomona were--especially Pomona *inserts dying plant*. Let me tell you, everything was organize. Everything! And the important and amazing aspect of it all was every single person I interacted with from orientation leaders. speakers, my orientation group, other random students, academic advisor, and even the random people I met to pick up for-sale items--there was a strong sense and value of inclusion. Davis has made sure of that, throughout their orientation, during the personal academic advising, and even the emails I still receive after it ended. I knew immediately in the middle of orientation that I’ve made the right choice. I mean, I had always made the right choices despite many ups and downs, it’s just now, I have finally made the choice that is right for me. 
Everything is finally coming together. Everything feels right. 
I have to tell you, I know each year we all learn and discover new sides of ourselves. Some that we never knew we possessed and usually, those are the ones that leave significant changes in our lives. I’m speaking more towards the positive ends. I feel this is the year. Out of all the crazy journey I’ve ridden on so far in this life, I would have to say this year was one of the most ultimate crazy of crazies. Looking back at who I was in the last 3 (almost four now) years, I am completely unrecognizable. Surprisingly, it’s not appearance-wise (though my makeup game did increase which supports my theory that all girls’ makeup game are strong over the years). Rather, it’s my personality and attitude towards life overall. Well, especially personality since I absolutely do not give a fuck about anything anymore (in a good sense). Yes, so it astounds me that as I reminisce on memories of myself or myself with someone, I have changed so much that it seems like a 360 transformation than a 180. But then again, this is life, right? 
I just view this as a positive and spiritual “enlightenment” so to say. I am proud of myself. I don’t tell myself this often and don’t give myself credit as much as I should, but I am proud. 
I’m not going to end today’s post with a sc link, but rather I’ll be sharing a concluding quote. One that I have long admired especially during a time when I struggled to bring myself to my feet. However, in dedication to the positive light that I have fought to see the past weeks and especially now, this quote doesn’t seem as heart-wrenching as it did. 
It is an ode to my new life that has just started.
“This pain is part of being human. The fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength.” -Albus Dumbledore
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shaniahnoel · 6 years
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Buttercup Pt 10/12
Word Count: 1658
Warnings: Tension between the couple; it wasn’t as fun to write, but felt like a real scene that was needed. 
A/N: As the title would suggest, the end is nigh! I’ve actually finished the series, but.... gotta hand it out in small doses ;) FEEDBACK ALWAYS WELCOME.
Masterlist
There was a strange tension between them as they walked, which Sweet Pea didn’t understand. His jealousy was piqued, but he was trying to be calm about it. Sophia had taken his hand easily, but she felt separate from him. Knowing that Toni would kill him if he interfered with her surprise, he kept silent as they crossed the parking lot and went into the Wyrm.
“Surprise!” Toni’s voice shrieked over the masses. In the center of the room stood a piano. It was an older model with enough markings in the wood to drive her mother crazy, but Sophia was thrilled. Rushing to her friend, she spun Toni around once before turning to the piano. Her hands caressed the ivory and she was pleased to find it in tune.
“How did you…?”
“Group effort,” Toni said smugly. “It was my idea, Jug and P found it, and it turns out that Nico’s mom is a pianist, so she put it in right shape.”
“You guys are amazing! Now, who is going to get this thing into my house?”
Several Serpents called out “not it,” and Sophia chuckled.
“Everyone was hating on the piano, Soph, you should show ‘em what it’s all about.” Fang looked at her expectantly. It’d been a long time since she’d played in front of so many people, but a slow chant was starting. “Alright, alright,” she groaned playfully, moving to sit at the keys. “I call this one Serpent Song.”
She went through her warm ups and at first the Serpents chuckled. Sweet Pea glared, and they settled for a respectful twitch of the lips. When she morphed into the piece, the mood shifted. The song was beautiful and enchanting. The start was deep and darker, a powerful wrenching in the chest as her fingers danced, but then the piece changed. Suddenly the music was lighter, and happier. The Serpents were smiling, happily, a few even swaying in place. For the first time, the Wyrm had found itself silent. This silence lasted a few moments after her hands had slowed. She wiped a tear from her eyes, and bowed under their applause.
“A new meaning to snake charmer, that one is,” Tall Boy nodded form across the bar. Sophia flushed under the praise. It was surprising that they’d enjoyed the piece, but a pleasant surprise. The rest of the night went well, the entire bar celebrating with her. Other Serpents took the shots that she wouldn’t accept and near the end Rachel arrived with an ice cream cake. Afterwards, she headed home with Sweet Pea.
“Okay, what is up with you?” Sophia jumped at his sudden outburst. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been weird ever since school let out. Different.”
“It’s nothing, Swe—,” she started, but he cut her off. “No, nothing doesn’t make you stare at the wall. Did that punk say something?”
“He’s not a punk, P!” Her annoyance flaring up. Sweet Pea stopped, a flicker of understanding crossing his face. “I thought you were just walking the same way?”
“We were.”
“Then what do you know about him?”
“That he has the balls to ask me on a proper date.” She could wrack her brain for hours, but not once would Sophia be able to comprehend what possessed her to say those particular words to that particular boy.
“He… what?” It sounded like there was a physical obstruction in Sweet Pea’s throat. A vein pulsed in his neck and his knuckles were white. Sophia backed away instinctively and Sweet Pea brought a hand to pinch his nose. His breath hissed between his teeth.
“Sophia.”
“H-he asked me out. To dinner.”
A beat of silence.
“You said?”
“No, obviously.”
Two beats.
“Is it?”
“Is it what?”
“Is it obvious?”
“I would never cheat on you.”
A full minute of silence.
“No, no you wouldn’t. You’d just think about him all day. That’s what has you all weird today, isn’t it? Him? Wondering if you made a mistake? If that’s what you want, go for it. I won’t pretend to be something I’m not.”
Without another word he turned and retreated to his room, but she found her voice before he could slam the door behind him.
“Maybe I did. But at least I tried!”
“You think I’m not trying?”
“Yeah, I do. I can’t keep riding out these waves, P. You take all my patience and you give back nothing. You’ve never asked me on a proper date, but hell I’d be happy if you’d just acknowledge that I matter to you. God forbid anyone know that you’re stuck with the girl from the Northside, right?”
She’d never thought about. He’d never thought about it. Neither consider what dealing with all his rage cost her, but now they were here. Her chest heaved, and her voice cracked as she lashed out. From the beginning, she’d accepted his lead, had told herself that he’d grow. In some ways he had, his anger was better, but she needed more than someone calm. She needed more than physical affection. Tears poured down her face and she found herself on the floor, wrapped in Sweet Pea’s arms.  Taking a deep breath, she raised her eyes to his.
“Do I matter to you, P?”
“Of course.”
“Don’t just reassure me. Do you mean that?”
“Yes.” His answer was quick, firm.
“Then why are you hiding me?”
Shock crossed his face, but then he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. A sad smile lifted the corner of his mouth. “You’re not the problem, Sophia. I never thought that you would think that I—who would dare to hide you?”
“But you a—”
“No. I’m protecting you. You told me about your dreams and how you were afraid of the Serpent reputation. Now, I know you changed your mind about that, but I did, too. Being with the Serpents is completely different than being with a Serpent. I was afraid…I’m hard enough to deal with, I didn’t want to give you more. But, I never thought that you’d think…”
“That explains a lot.” Sweet Pea smiled then, arms relaxing around her. “but it’s not enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean that I need more than this. You’re cuddly, sure, always willing to be playful and have fun. You’ve been there for the panic attacks, but it doesn’t feel like you listen. It’s like you don’t want me to talk about my problems, and you sure as heck won’t talk about you.”
Here they had found the root of the issue, and they both knew it. In the short months they’d been together, Sweet Pea had learned quite a bit about Sophia, but she knew next to nothing about him. She was sure she’d know nothing about his father if he hadn’t stumbled in drunk once or twice. Respecting Sweet Pea’s boundaries had seemed like the right thing, at first, but she couldn’t handle this emotional unavailability. He, on the other hand, wasn’t sure how to deal with the vulnerability.
“What do you want to know?”
“The dog tags.” It may not have been the most pressing question, but the tension was thick, and they dangled before her.
“The dog tags are my uncle’s. He died overseas when I was young, but he’d never married. I was his favorite nephew, and he was something of a hero.” The answer was stiff, each word hesitant, but it was something.
“And the ring?” Sweet Pea fiddled with it subconsciously.
“My grandmother’s engagement ring. She married her high school sweetheart right after graduation. When my parents divorced she brought it to me and said that just because a marriage failed didn’t mean love would. Told me to hold onto this for when I find the girl.”
These words were warmer. His eyes sparkled as he told her about the ring. Sophia smiled in response.
“Thank you.”
“Do you want to leave?” There was doubt in his voice, a hint of hope.
“Is this gonna change?”
Sweet Pea let out a deep breath and ran his hand through his hair. His eyes burned a hole in the carpet as he chewed on his lip. It felt like an eternity before he slowly spoke. “This isn’t easy for me, Sophia. My family, I don’t… I don’t do this,” he gestured between them, “but, I want to. For you. I do care about you. I care about your problems. I’m just not good with emotions. Except anger, and you took that one off the board.”
Sophia laughed then, bringing her hand to his face and pulling his eyes up to meet hers. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
“I’m staying.”
Sweet Pea’s mouth crushed hers. They both gasped for air when their lips parted. He pulled her into his chest, tucking her head under his chin. Sophia listened to his heart beat, steady and strong. Her mother had given up on her father when he got sick and Sophia had promised herself that she’d never give up on the person that she cared about. This was a little different, but she knew that Sweet Pea meant it when he said that he’d work on it.
His grip loosened, and he put her at arm’s length, and sighed deeply, “I need your help buying clothes.”
“What, why?”
“Because, if you’re willing, I would like to take you on our first official date this weekend and that new seafood place you want to try definitely wants me to look nicer than this.”
“You don’t have to prove anything to me.”
“I’m not. I’m finally showing you off like I’ve been dying to do since we got together.”
Sophia’s cheeks flushed as he winked at her. That boy made her emotions a roller coaster, but it was a hell of a ride. “Okay, but you’re keeping the jacket; I want to show you off, too.”
He smiled softly at that, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
Taglist: @serpentsweetspea @reinadelaserpiente  
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angryfiregardener · 3 years
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Film making in Covid times
Inside the ancient caves of the prehistoric era lie the secrets of a trance unmatched, the trance that has survived for centuries and continues to thrive, the trance of story-telling.  From the paintings carved on the walls by the first humans to the magic of live theatre manifested by Shakespeare, over the decades, the art form of story-telling has travelled through a plethora of mediums. However, by the end of the 19th century, the world witnessed a legendary transformation with the advent of film-making. Ever since then it has continued to stay as the most capable and exquisite form of expression.
The beauty of this medium resides in the fact that it beholds the power to transcend one into the mind of the storyteller and make the viewer experience a world that doesn't exist in the first place. Cinema is synonymous with a time-capsule for it captures the crux of society and its traditions into a motion that is bound to live for ages as a universe where varieties co-exist like the pieces of a puzzle. Be it the intricacies of the Parallel Cinema or the subtle nuances of surrealism, through the magic of film-making and media one can always recite the thoughts as seamlessly as the songs of the dawn.
 To understand the deeper roots of film-making, it is important to acknowledge that it in itself is a learning-experience which flows into any given vessel and creates a different shape and identity for an individual. That's the glory of film-making, it knows no rules and aspires for none. Silent films, colourless films, talkies, non-fiction and a thousand other forms and styles have emerged due to this process and each has thrived in the hearts of different sets of audience.
The process of film-making in itself is a nail-biting yet a soothing journey that throws the makers into the roller coaster of emotions and forces them into a place of paradox where they constantly fight with their ideas, philosophies and struggles. However when we look over the past year, the most dreadful one in the history of centuries, there's no math required to conclude that each one of us has become a hostage of our emotions.
The dreary confinement in a mysterious way, brought us closer to the parts of ourselves that we had left undiscovered under the noise of our mundane routines. Our beings have been forced to discover a freedom that can only breathe between the four walls of our homes.
As much as we appreciate the breakthrough of ideas during this period it is also privy for us to ask the bigger question considering practicality, "What is the future of film-making in the wake of Covid?" Needless to say, making movies is going to be more difficult than ever. Now there exist unavoidable limitations but there is hope. "Limitations can be a key to innovation", says Wesley Joseph, a British film-maker and producer based in London. In fact, according to Joseph, we might witness a rise in the number of films owing to the flourishing and never-seen-before technology that will allow people to film stories inside their homes.
   Let's talk about Siddhartha Bedi, an aspiring film-maker from the capital who righteously stole the hearts of the people online with a One Plus camera phone, his younger sister and a will to create something bigger than ourselves. "My sister and Hand-Me-Downs" shot during this pandemic is a short film that explores the weird aspects of a sibling relationship. Like Bedi, there emerged hundreds of film-makers who turned this pathetic time into a bearable one through the lenses of their cameras that peeked into the kaleidoscope of their minds and brought on our screens the most heart-wrenching and beautifully shot short-films and stories. Films like "Aavaz", "Listen to Her", "Home  Stories" have stood-out and brought out the untold secrets and struggles of the pandemic. The renowned faces from the Bengali cinema gave us the beautiful, "Jhor themey jabe ek din", a short film directed by Arindam Sil wherein the actors sent their shots through iPhones.
 "Is making a film THAT easy?" you might ask yourself as you watch these masterpieces on your screen. The answer to that, in all its honesty, is quite ambiguous. Making a movie can be a mammoth task, however, as a beginner, it isn't quite impossible. As long as you carry the basic equipment by yourself, you'll just be a pinch of discipline, a few sleepless nights and platter of creativity away from producing the best film!
We at Devi Prasad Goenka Management College, believe in this idea of self-sufficiency and therefore our Film Club is back again with the fourth edition of CINEVOYAGE, a three-day virtual film festival which is a platform for all the film connoisseurs and amateurs alike looking for recognition of their work, ideas and opinions. 
Being a media and communication college, we understand the importance of creating an environment that can motivate the beginners to share their short-films and learn immensely through direct interaction with the industry professionals originating from the top media colleges across the country. Here lies your chance to make your own webisode/short-film and steal the centre stage with your talent. But before you participate, our patrons at DGMC have shared a few valuable insights on how you can ensure a well-shot content:
1. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO MAKE
This one is obvious, we know. However, it is equally important. Before you begin, you need to have a precise picture of the genre. Visualize the feeling that you wish to give to your audience and then explore your theme from various perspectives. Remember that there are limitations on the location and therefore choose a storyline that matches with your home/neighbourhood.
 2. SCREENPLAY TIME!
It is important to build an outline of the story that you wish to convey. Writing a script becomes much easier when you know your approach towards the story. Spend an ample amount of time here and keep rewriting and editing the script until you are satisfied with the flow of the direction.
3. WHAT EQUIPMENT DO I NEED?
This one's a tough nut to crack but fret not! As a first-time filmmaker, don’t hesitate to use your smartphone if it’s the best camera available.
Lighting is another important aspect that needs to be taken care of. If you do not have the lighting gear available to you, the natural light captured from the right angles can lend a lot of sense to your scenes.
Unavailability of audio equipment won't be a problem either if you try to capture the best sound possible. Recording in a quiet environment and keeping your in-built mic closer to the speaker can suffice.
4. ALL SET?
You're almost there. All you now need to do is gather your cast and start filming. When shooting a movie, you should set your camera to 24 frames per second. Shoot from multiple locations so that you have more to edit from in the post-production stage.
5. EDIT AND DONE!
Bring all the shots together, trim them into the sequence with the help of a gazillion video editing software available on the internet. Under the concepts and rules of colour, grading to make your film visually appealing.
Like we mentioned before, making a movie can be tough but this process brings with itself great experiences so get up, take your camera and start TODAY! While you're at it, do not forget to submit your work and participate in CINEVOYAGE. 
Click on the link below to know more details.
http://www.dgmc.org.in/cinevoyage/
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oreliforshort · 6 years
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100 Reasons Why - Chapter 17
I Could hear the water at the edge of All Things : Hammock
#23
Solid math.
Knock knock
Lance had his headphones on and was listening to the same bit of music over and over again.  He is staring up to the ceiling, completely oblivious to the knock on the door.  His eyes are glistening though the tears aren’t really falling anymore.  Lost in his daydream, Lance doesn’t realize that Keith has opened the door.  Sometime during the second week of their night talks, Lance had told him the password to his room, for occasions like this.
Unaware he is being watched, Lance closes his eyes for a bit and hums along to the song, pretending the world where it came from was not so far away.  It brings a bittersweet smile to his face, mixing strangely with the dried tears.
For a moment, Keith isn’t sure he should stay.  It’s not like Lance to look like this.  Isn’t Lance always happy and ready for the next adventure?  Scratching his face, Keith takes a deep breath and decides to sit down.  When he does, Lance about jumps out of his skin before ripping his headphones off his head.
“Keith?!”  He blurts out before hoping he doesn’t look too miserable.  “What’s up, buddy?”
“I think I should be asking you that.”  Keith responds quickly before relaxing back onto the bed.  He watches with an eyebrow raised as Lance shakes his head and shrugs.
“I’m not really sure what you mean.”  Lance plays it off by smiling quickly and being ‘happy Lance.’  He sits up suddenly then turns off his music.  “How’s Shiro holding up?”
“Surprisingly well.”  Keith puts his hand up to stop Lance as he opens his mouth to say something else.  “Talk to me.”  
“Isn’t that my line?”  Lance says with a lopsided smile.
“Usually.”  
The two of them sit in silence for a bit as Lance decides if he actually wants to tell Keith whats on his mind.  He fidgets a bit, twiddling his thumbs and running his fingers through his hair before finally exhaling and looking up to Keith.  The red paladin sits, patiently waiting to hear what is on Lance’s mind.
“I’m..not really sure where to start, man.”  Lance admits finally.
“Try at the beginning?”  Keith responds simply which draws an exasperated sigh from Lance’s lips.
“The beginning, huh?”  Lance clears his throat and laughs absentmindedly.  “You sure you want to listen to me rambling that long?”
Keith just looks around as if to say, what else am I going to do?
And with that, Lance slumps over a bit and finally allows himself to speak much of what he’s kept to himself since day one.
“I hate this.”  Lance says plainly.  He watches as Keith’s eyes open a little wider in surprise.  “Like, it was cool for a day or two.  Then the weight of everything hit me.  And it’s so stupid.  I don’t want to complain.  You all have it worse than me!  I mean, you - you -”  He shakes his head and refuses to finish that thought.  “I just keep hoping to wake up and realize this is all some bad dream.  I’m not good enough, I have no goals.  I don’t know how to be a paladin and yet everyone just seems to assume it’s so natural!  Like, what about any of this is natural?!  I just want to go home and be a normal kid again!”  Somewhere between his rambling, Lance had started to cry again and didn’t even realize it.
At the edge of the bed, Keith is frozen.  This is Lance, crying in front of him. Keith isn’t really sure how to respond, but, thinking back to how Lance has reacted, Keith swallows hard then leans in and hugs him gently.
“I’m sorry.”  Lance says as he tries to calm himself down.
“Don’t be.”  Keith responds quietly.  “All of us have had our moments.  It’s okay to take some time to grieve.”
Lance shakes his head and tries to seperate from the hug, but either he is weaker than he wanted to admit, or Keith is actually putting a bit of force into the hug.  Either way, it causes Lance to falter. “But, you guys all have it worse than me.”  He sniffles.
“So that means you can’t be upset?”  Keith questions.  “It’s ok.  Just...I’m here for you.”  He says quietly.  
And somehow, this quiet reassurance is all Lance needed to finally snap.  His strength finally vanishes and props his forehead on Keith’s shoulder before wrapping his hands around Keith and sobbing.  For the first time since his venture into space, Lance was letting his real feelings show.  It is as if a weight was being lifted from his shoulders.
For just a minute at least… the real Lance is free.
Lance can barely keep himself upright as he cries.  Heart-wrenching, muffled sobs echo through the room as he grips Keith’s jacket tight in his fists.  “I’m sorry.” He says through the tears.  “I’m really sorry.”  The same words repeat as Lance tries to calm his tears.  “This is so stupid.”
Not use to seeing so much emotion - especially from Lance - Keith is shocked.  He starts to rub circles on Lance’s back, hoping it might help to calm the man who has obviously been hiding his emotions for quite some time.  “Stop apologizing.  You haven’t done anything wrong.”
“But this is stupid.”  Lance grumbles.  “I shouldn’t be crying like this.  I’m so childish.”
“It’s not stupid, Lance.  It’s human.”  Keith, while still uncertain of his own actions, pulls Lance away from him for a second then laughs a little at the obvious embarrassment on the blue paladin’s face when they meet eyes.
“Really Keith?  You laugh now?”
“I can’t help it.  You look so pathetic.”  He says with another small laugh.
In rebuttal, Lance pushes him away and turns away from Keith before curling up in a little ball.  He tries to choke down his tears, fully regretting being so open now.  With his face buried in his knees, Lance sobs a bit, saying;
“All I am is one big joke.”  
Keith feels his heart drop.  Suddenly realizing his laugh had the opposite effect on Lance as he was hoping.  Isn’t laughter suppose to be contagious or something? He hears what Lance says and crawls over beside him. “That’s...not…”  Keith starts then wraps himself around Lance, playing the little spoon for a minute.  “I just don’t know how to react, ok?”  He admits finally.  “I mean, I had no idea you felt like this.  Honestly.”
“That was, you know, sorta the point.”  Lance turns to look at Keith with an eyebrow raised and a look that is almost irritated.  “I didn’t want it to be obvious.  Like I said, this is stupid.  I have no reason -”
“You have  Allita, Fernán, Teb, Retha, Yoselin.  And, and, the dog…”  
“Noodle?”  Lance can’t help but be taken aback.  He had no idea Keith paid that much attention to his stories.
“Yeah.  And you have a mom and dad you miss.  So don’t tell me you have no reasons to be sad.”
“But -”
“There are no buts about this.”  Keith shakes his head.  “Saying you have no reason to be sad is just a lie.  No one thinks that.  We all just assumed you were having too much fun to be sad.”
“I haven’t stopped missing them.”  Lance says quietly, still curled up on himself.  His tears have slowed nearly to a stop.  He cannot help but blame shock as a big contributor to this. The other part is how nice it feels to have someone holding him.  As much as he wants to admit it though, Lance can’t find the heart to admit it right now.  Admitting that would hurt too much when Keith doesn’t feel the same way in return.
“I know.”  Keith says quietly.  At this, Lance turns to him with one eyebrow raised and a very confused expression before wiping his face with a dirty shirt.  “You talked about them almost every night.  You wouldn’t talk about something you don’t miss, right?”
Lance turns to Keith and bows his head.  “I never realized how much you listened to my stupid stories.”  He admits bashfully while spinning his body back around.
“Of course I listened.”  Keith shakes his head.  “What’d you think I came in here just to hear more of your obnoxious voice after hearing it all day for my health?”
“W-was that...a joke?”  Lance grins a bit.
“Might have been.”  Keith finally sits up and runs a hand over Lance’s shoulder.
“Thank you, Keith.”  
“It’s really nothing.”  He hugs Lance again lightly.  “You could have just said something before and not bottled it up like this.”
Lance nods.  “I’ll keep it in mind.”  He yawns then, obviously tired from the roller coaster of emotions today had brought with it. His tired eyes watch as Keith scoots to the end of the bed before motioning for Lance to lay down.
At first, Lance simply freezes in place.  However, he can’t deny that cuddling overnight would be great for his broken spirit.  So, with that, Lance lays down and puts his head in Keith’s lap.  Just about the time Lance gets comfortable, Keith starts to mindlessly stroke Lance’s hair.  
“Your legs are going to go numb.”  Lance says sleepily.
“Worst things have happened.”
And that was the last thing Lance remembered hearing before he fell asleep.
#23 - numb legs
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A little book review for something I believe is well worth the read.
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Trigger Warning: this book contains accounts of rape, torture, murder, cannibalism and pretty much anything else awful that humanity has ever done. I’m putting this here as a warning to anyone who is under 18 or has any direct experience which any of these subjects that this book may not be for you. This review does not contain these exerts from the book and is likely safe to read, but the book is not. Be warned. ----- Let me introduce you all to ‘The Idiot Gods’, one of the more interesting and thought provoking books I've read this year. At its core the book is about humanity from the perspective of a non-human trying its best to understand us, warts and all. This alien sees us, all of the atrocities we as a species have committed upon each other and all earthlings as a whole, and every heartfelt and gentle moment between the humans he has come to call friends. He sees the psychopaths amongst us and those people risking and giving their lives to defend him and others of his kind. He comes so close to understanding us he risks becoming as mad as the people he studies.
The twist is that this alien is from our own planet, and is just as involved with what we are doing to the Earth as we are. The alien is a male Orca named Arjuna.
I will try to keep my description of the plot as spoiler free as I can because I truly believe that many of the shocking and heart wrenching scenes in this books are so much more effective if you’re not waiting for them to happen. Needless to say Some scenes in this book are shocking, upsetting and downright horrific. There is rape in this book, there is murder, there is slavery and there is cannibalism. If you can handle topics such as the ones above then I will recommend this book to the moon and back. Its like a sharp wake-up call and makes you aware of perspectives you may of never considered before (the one for me that really stood out was on animal activism and animal rights, where Arjuna describes it as an unnatural and claims that by protecting animals from any suffering we are actually imposing moral superiority on nature and acting both falsely compassionate and selfish.) (And while I understand the point the author makes here I will also point out how that the torture of farmed animals being raised in horrific conditions and slaughtered on mass is even more unnatural and selfish that giving them the artificial right to live and breed protected in a field). The general plot line is this. Arjuna is born and raised in the Northern Oceans, though i don’t think it is particularly stated where. He is part of the Blue Aria family and after seeing three signs of a cataclysm he looses his ability to ‘quenge’, a term used to describe how he and other cetaceans meditate, becoming one with everything at once and can experience the universe in a grain of sand, or the other way around. He becomes increasingly convinced that humans are at fault and goes out to try and speak with us, which eventually he does after meeting a linguist named Helen and an Orca trainer named Gabi. He talks with many people, explores the internet of all things (including a funny sequence in which he discovers human porn, making offhand comments on how humans are ashamed of their own sexuality and do our best to hide it, in contrast to cetaceans which seem to have no shame in anything. Google if you dare.) and meets with spiritual and scientific figureheads. And then pretty much out of nowhere, everything goes to shit. And this is where i stop explaining the plot because I’m not spoiling that part, nope, you can’t make me.
But seriously I hope I can give the author enough credit and have described this book well and bring across the points he was trying to make without butchering them, he has far more qualifications than I have or ever likely will and is more learned than I am on many of these matters. If my counting is correct, he has five degrees. FIVE. My copy of this book has many chunks highlighted which i found to be interesting or particularly well written. I’ll copy one of these down below.
“That would no be wise, Unukalhai said. “Our song did now end happily, and the humans do not like to think about death.” “No,” Alkurah said. “They are fond of words that soften or obscure it. Especially when they inflict death on each other.” “Yes, it is amusing is it not,” Kitalpha said, “how the humans use the words ‘collateral damage’ to mean-” “Murder,” Hyadum said. “And when they say they need to ‘put a dog down’, they really mean-” “Murder” Baby Electra said. “And an execution is nothing but a-” “Formal murder”. “And ‘endangered species’ means-” “Beings not yet completely murdered.” “And we could think of ‘nuclear deterrence’ as-” “A threat of-” ““No, a promise of-” “Total murder”. “Which might be as bad as ‘climate change’, which we might as well call-” “Planetary murder.”
Zindell, D. The Idiot Gods. (2017). Page 240. HarperCollins Publishers. Clays Ltd, St Ives plc. This book is an emotional roller coaster that is moving, profound and utterly unique in both writing style and presentation. Its is informative, eye-opening and so very, very engaging. I cannot do this book justice in a review, if you’re looking for an more informative and thought-provoking read give The Idiot Gods a look, it’s well worth your time.
https://www.davidzindell.com/the-idiot-gods/
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thegeekerynj · 4 years
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An Occasional Attempt to Read, Discuss and Review the Wonders of Comics By: John Rafferty, cranky old man, and Fan of All Things Comics
DCeased: Dead Planet #1 The Return
Writer: Tom Taylor Pencils: Trevor Hairsine
PROJECTILE ONCOMING.
Something’s coming from Earth!
DINAH! SHIELDS!!!
KRYPTO!
Inks: Gigi Baldassini & Stefano Guadiano
——————————————————————————————
If I was sure there weren’t gong to be children reading this, I would use words here that would make a trucker return to church...
Sweet Christmas! (Thanks Archie Goodwin!)
Since it’s inception, I have had nothing but raves for this series.
Now, into it’s third print series (I include the A Good Day To DIe one-shot as part of the Original Run, and I don’t count the Web Run yet, as I refuse to pay for the webcontent...I know, I’m a Luddite... Get Off My LAWN you Damned Whippersnappers!)
Anyway, rant aside, raves galore for DCeased, for Unkillables, and now, the first issue of the new six-issue series exploring the depth of the losses caused by the Techno-Anti-Life Equation. Taking place 5 years after the Arks have left Earth - DCeased (still waiting for a Multiverse number here, guys!), President Lane is dealing with the issues of colonists in a new territory... the indigenous peoples are having none of the ‘invaders’.
It does seem, much like the Amerinds, they have an issue... Overwhelming POWER. The people of this galaxy do not seem to have a Superman, a Green Lantern / Canary, a Batman.
They are quickly brought to the negotiating table, where the President does her best to spread oil on the water, assuring the leader of the attacking group they mean no ill will, and are merely seeking sanctuary when...
Morse Code! On the frequency of the tracker Batman put in Cyborg!
DIT. DEE. DEE. DEE.   DIT. DEE. DIT. DIT.
J. L.
A Call. Vic is alive.
Swing to the Oblivion Bar. I love this. Every comic company needs to have some iteration of this, because it continues the Munden’s Bar story. The Ultimate Cross-Over, EVERYONE CAN MEET HERE!! I mean, c’mon... We’ve had Iron Man, a bat and cat named Bruce and Selina, the TMNT, Nexus, Omaha the Cat Dancer and Milk and Cheese (Hint, hinthinthint... I would pay real money to see Gordon and Bob the Watch Lizard at some point - Yes, Tim Truman, I am talking to you and John Ostrander...)
ANY-way, we have John Constantine, drinking with friends. Constantine never drinks alone, he has a box with Chaz’s ashes on the stool next to him, and the ghosts of his friends (both sad, if they are memories, and horrifying, if it played out a little more, and they actually interacted with him). Those who sacrificed themselves for the greater good, something which John has never done.
Switch, Vic Stone, Cyborg.
Sacrificed himself for the greater good, and found, about 3 seconds too late, that he was not only the cause, but the cure for the corrupted Anti-Life Virus.
The players, and the stage is set.
Gentle Readers, this story, the entirety of it has been gut wrenching, an emotional roller coaster, constantly looking like it is heading for the precipice, before pulling back at the last minute. I don’t know how this story plays out on a detail level, but on the highest level, Dead Planet looks like the Redemption Arc.
Some of the Heroes have Survivor’s Guilt, some have PTSD, some need to prove something to themselves, or avenge those they have lost.
Again there are losses. Some are completely out of left field, and as a result, may leave an invested fan slack-jawed, and at a complete loss for words. Not me, of course, I can curse in 5 languages, and did... OFTEN.
Then, I cried like a little girl.
Look, I have said this before. This story is not for the weak of heart. It definitely isn’t for little kids. It’s violent. It’s Punisher meets Japanese Anime meets Snuff film violent. Is the violence necessary, you might ask... YES. This is the Apokolipsean Influence of the Anti-Life, where Life fights to exist, to go forward, the Anti-life primarily exists to destroy, to rend, to undo Life, at it’s basic levels.
Is it good? Oh, Gods Above and Below, Yes.
Tom Taylor has once again exceeded all my expectations. I cannot say enough about the things I feel while i read his work. There are times I wish I could read the scripts alone, and not be distracted ( yes I said distracted) by the artwork, so i could let my own mind bring some of this detail forward, and see where i go with it.
The quote I started with, while it does not include the art, would have shown a speeding projectile blowing through the Green Lantern Quarantine Zone, and the Power Ring shield which Kilowog puts up between the Survivors and Earth...
This is a very small example of the evocation the story brings... that is not to take anything away from the artwork. Quite the contrary, once again, the Penciler / Inker team is phenomenal. Trevor Hairsine’s pencils are beautiful. there is detail, fine line work which is just gorgeous.
The inking by Gigi Baldassini and Stefano Guadiano are exquisite. The Oblivion Bar scene, with the ‘Ghosts of Constantine’s Friends Past’ is beyond compare, the characters so clear yet so ephemeral, like wills of the wisp, ready to blow away on the first good breeze.
To be able to draw, and enhance gossamer strands... i should live so long as to have a tiny bit of that talent.
With one issue under our collective skin, and 5 more to go, all I can do is hope this roller coaster doesn’t turn out to be the proverbial Crazy Train going off the rails to hell, or wherever...
Or, maybe not. Anti-Life in Hell... What could that look life? Deadman, Jim Corrigan, Etrigan, return of the Creeper, without a human host???
OOOOooohhhhhh Myyyyy!
Out of 5 🌶 🌶🌶🌶🌶🌶
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inkyardpress · 7 years
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Reads That’ll Make You Ugly Cry
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Need a good ugly cry? Grab a tissue (or two) and snuggle up with some of these emotional reads. These plotlines will tangle up your heartstrings and leave you with all the #bookfeels!
1.       If There’s No Tomorrow by Jennifer L. Armentrout
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Become obsessed with Jennifer L. Armentrout’s new and heartbreaking story about a girl’s journey to forgiveness. One night, Lena makes a decision that destroys everything normal about her life. How can she move on when tomorrow isn’t even guaranteed? Don’t read this one in public unless you have a tissue handy!
2.       North of Happy by Adi Alsaid
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Although Carlos admired the free spirit of his brother, Felix, Carlos never had it in him to go against his parents’ wishes. Until Felix’s unexpected death. When Carlos travels to Seattle to pursue his dream of being a chef, Felix’s free spirit is right behind him. Their banter will have you laughing and crying at the same time.
3.       Love & Gelato by Jenna Evans Welch
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It may seem impossible to be sad in beautiful Tuscany, but the death of Lina’s mother hangs over her. Now, living with a father she didn’t know about, Lina has only her mother’s old journal for comfort. Reading about her mother’s past adventures in Italy, Lina feels as though her mother is right alongside her. You’ll get a craving for gelato reading this one, which might help your case of the tears.
4.       History Is All You Left Me by Adam Silvera
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This book is a perfect balance of bitter and sweet that will mangle your heart into pieces. When Griffin’s first love and ex-boyfriend, Theo, dies, nothing in Griffin’s life makes sense. Their love story wasn’t supposed to end like this, and he needs answers. The only person who has them is Theo’s new boyfriend, Jackson. Awkward much?  
5.       Bad Romance by Heather Demetrios
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For Grace, falling in love with Gavin seemed like the perfect escape from her destructive family life. At first, he’s too good to be true. Then his ugly side starts to come out. Sometimes love stories don’t end up in happily-ever-afters, but Grace won’t let Gavin define who she is. A powerful read that’ll get your eyes glistening.
6.       This Is Not the End by Chandler Baker
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Imagine if you could bring back a loved one back from death. For Lake Devereaux, resurrection technology has made that possible, and it’s a chance that she’ll be given only once, when she turns eighteen. After Lake’s boyfriend and best friend tragically die in a car accident, weeks from Lake’s eighteenth birthday, she’s faced with an impossible choice. Prepare to cry your heart out.  
7.       The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
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This O.G. of heart-wrenching love stories will punch you in the feels again and again. Fall in love with the unexpected romance between Hazel Lancaster and Augustus Waters when they meet at the Cancer Kid Support Group. We’re not crying, you’re crying. Okay? Okay.
8.       Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows by J.K. Rowling
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The final battle of Hogwarts went down in book history as epic, gripping and painfully tragic. We loved seeing some of our favorite characters rise up and kick some Death Eater butt, but not everyone got out unscathed. Raise your wands, and let those tears fall!
9.       The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
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Who knew that Death as a narrator could be so eloquent and moving? He’s seen a lot of things, but the story of young Liesel Meminger, living in Germany during World War II, is one he can’t forget. Learning to read, Liesel becomes hungry for words and starts stealing books that give her hope and happiness. That won’t last, though, and trust us when we say the tears will come.
10.   Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
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The story of Hannah Baker’s suicide is not for the faint of heart. Listening to the thirteen cassettes that explain why she took her life is hard for Clay Jensen. But he’s not going to stop until he gets to the end of the tapes, even if it breaks him. It’s a guaranteed raw and emotional roller coaster.
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mariaashby64 · 6 years
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Random Review (2)
Voltron season 4 review.
Overall this season was somewhat darker while still enjoyable, and it had many thoroughly hilarious moments. The visuals were amazing and the plant designs still managed to awe me. Fighting and the choreography of the battles were stunning and well planned. We also get some good moments from all the characters, some more than others of course.
Like my last review I will be covering:
Plot
Characters
Feels
Graphics and sound
Any extra points
And that’s about it for the spoiler free overview. I will be getting into the good stuff below.
 Plot:
 It’s an, interesting carry on from Season three. It kinda felt like some of the stuff we were working towards in season 3 got discarded this season. Example, last season we saw Keith struggle with becoming the leader but this season he backs out and Shiro can now piolet the black lion. However I thought the coalition plotline worked really well and had a good payoff in the finale. I perhaps would have liked to of seen more of the alien races and how they would have fought in that battle.
Episode 2 was fantastic, though it could have perhaps been shuffled around with the other episodes because matt didn’t seem to show up in episode 4. Either way it wouldn’t have changed the narrative because ep 2 is pretty self-contained.
I know we had a short screen time budget but I didn’t feel as rushed this season. Plenty happened in each episode and they stuck pretty straight to the main narrative whilst providing some good side moments. The only noticeable things that were cut out were: 1, The Blade of Mamora mission. I know Keith went out on his own mission but we never got any updates or anything from their point of view. I can understand this decision but it just means we don’t get to see Keith or how his time away from the paladins affected him. At the same time it does put us more into the other paladin’s shoes as they don’t know what’s going on with him. 2nd, We didn’t see much of Lotor and his plans but I would also put that down to the writers keeping Lotor’s motives in the dark. So it works in their favour.
But overall the writing was good and I am interested for the next season.
 Characters:
I didn’t see this and anyone’s particular season but there were defiantly some highlights.
Pidge: Starting with Pidge because she is my fave. She has been working her butt off to find her brother and I’m so glad she finally did. I love her relationship with Matt and how they are both science nerds. (can relate). Also the scene where she gets mocked at school for being smart draws on similar feeling from me so it was a case of making my favourite character even more relatable. I love how her alias was actually the nickname her brother gave her. I didn’t know that before and it’s adorable. Her action scenes were great, and she makes a really good team with Matt whether it be in the science or combat department.
Matt: I was very interested to see how he would integrate with the team. Especially after Keith left. (My sister made a comment of, the reason they got rid of Keith was so Matt could replace him.) I thought episode 3 did a good job with that. I loved how Pidge, Matt and Hunk are now the nerd trio and that Matt gets to ride tandem with Pidge in the green lion. And how could I forget that Matt also fell head over heels for Allura,that was hilarious. But anyway from what I saw in the last episodes I think Matt will be hanging out with the rebels when he isn’t with the team.
Lance: Seems to be back to his usual self. I think the show business gave him a boost in confidence. Although he doesn’t flirt with Allura it’s funny to see that he still doesn’t want any other man with her. His speech to Allura in ep 6 was touching and really showcased why the blue lion picked him in the first place. It added to the side of him we saw in season 3. His ability to act as the heart of the team.
Shiro: Shiro comes back and the first thing we see him do is argue with Keith. But anyway it was nice to see him back in action. Whatever the writers had instore for him we didn’t get to see. Though I suspect it may come up in the future.
Allura: She fits nicely into her role and it was cool to bring up her quintessence abilities again. And she is still absolutely badass at fighting.
Keith: Yeah, I’ll admit I’m a sucker for Keith in his Mamora outfit. I can only hope our emo boy is able to re-join the team next season, he’s still one of my favourites. Despite being gone for half the season we still get a character arc from him. In the first episode we see him struggling to come to terms with the Mamora principal that the mission is more important than the individual. Then at the end Keith realises that sacrifices will have to be made in order to save the day. And that he is even willing to sacrifice himself for the effort. I mean kudos to the writers for putting that arc in there.
Hunk: My poor boy. Sidelined again. I really did like it though when Matt acknowledged Hunk’s work in the science department. I would like to see more of that trio nerding out in the future. I thought perhaps, when Hunk was made fun of in the coalition performances, that there might be a payoff where Hunk saves the day, but that didn’t really happen. But we did have that moment in ep 7 where he works out the planet is a bomb. So he does come through in small moments but it would be nice to see more episodes displaying his skill, like the first 2 seasons.
Coran: It was actually interesting to see Coran take a serious episode. It really showed another side of him that we don’t see. A less confident guy that only wanted the best for his team. However the episode still managed to be hilarious.
Lotor: Like I said earlier, we didn’t see too much of him but I think it works well with the end of the season. We don’t really know what Lotor is planning and we don’t know how Lotor will use Voltron to his advantage. We know Lotor has been exiled before and I hope we can get some good backstory next season. Also I don’t trust him, I think he will side with Voltron until he gets what he wants then break away. It quite interesting having him as a third party.
Lotor’s generals: Narti did not deserve this! But I did think her death did create and interesting dynamic in the group. Zethrid and Ezor feared for their own lives while Axca still tried to remain loyal. When Lotor’s plan failed that was the tipping point. I also noticed Azca said there was one last option for them to go, I assumed they were going to Voltron but it was Lotor who got there first. It makes me question whether she had the same plan or is talking about another party. (I wouldn’t be surprised if they turned up at the Blade of Mamora)  Last of all we didn’t get to see any hand to hand combat from these girls. And that’s a shame but I guess the screen time budget couldn’t allow it.
 Feels:
Boy we got the whole plate. Whether it be feeling sad, laughing at jokes, confused in shock or rallied in a powerful moment. The Voltron team did a good job in bringing out the emotion. A lot of this comes from the creator’s ability to make an atmosphere. Music and visuals played a big part. (Plus the voice acting, Bex how dare you make me cry). What scenes affected you the most probably depended which characters you cared about more.
Episode 2 was a great one for me. The Part where Pidge found Matt’s “grave” was gut wrenching even though I knew he couldn’t be dead. But it still made me get caught up in the moment. The only thing that ruined it was the overused trope of “someone died/it’s a funeral so it’s raining” cliché. It kinda dragged me out of the scene, but it was still great.
There are plenty of other scenes I enjoyed. There were heaps of moments where I laughed. Voltron likes to take the viewer on a bit of an emotional roller coaster and it works pretty well for me.
 Graphics/sound:
Holly flip! Where is this improvement coming from? Like man, I thought the last season look amazing but this one took it up again. The planet had awesome designs and the space background had me awed. I always love the environments they created. Multiple times I found myself caught out just admiring how good the graphics were.
There were also some examples of animation we don’t usually see, especially in episode 3. Though I did find it strange the absolute absurdity of it just made the scene even more hilarious.
Fight scenes were great, whether they were in the lions or hand to hand, they still looked amazing to watch.
Music was also another thing I noticed. It was done really well and added nicely to certain scenes. They were also probably good enough to listen to on its own.
 Extra points:
This season had a very military feel to it. The tactics of the coalition were cool and the final fight was awesome. Death seemed like a much more real threat this season. And there were plenty of moments that carried a lot more weight.
I’m also glad the Kaltenecker was included in this season after disappearing in the last one. 
Just like the first 2 seasons the writers have once again ended on a cliff-hanger and I will be excited for the next season.
Thanks for reading to the end. I’ve decided this will be a bit of a thing now, writing reviews (when I can). If you don’t agree with everything I’ve said then that’s fine, you don’t have too. This is my own opinion after all.
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gloieee · 4 years
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So it Goes
I’ve been having really good days. But I’ve been discovering more of Mac Miller lately and he wrenches heartstrings in so many ways. I resonate with him so hard in certain aspects. It’s uncanny.
10.12.2019
So interesting that I was feeling this way 10.12. 2019 haha. I doubt it was that day, since I was floundering in my essay editing. But maybe it was--maybe I just thought Mac Miller was beautiful enough to take a day off from my “business” writing. I have a feeling it was 10.15. 2019 vaguely. Likely was still having some very good days then.
Life is always a roller coaster and I appreciate it, I suppose. I remember distinctly loving “So it Goes,” but not having a way to connect it to how I felt then. It’s ironic how I feel like this song matches up the most to how I feel now. Slaughterhouse Five, Kurt Vonnegut, literature, one of my first loves. So it goes. I resonate with this one so deeply right now that I think i’ll indulge myself and break it down step by step.
So it Goes- Mac Miller
You could have the world in the palm of your hand You still might drop it So it goes
I love how he highlights how precarious satisfaction, happiness, and fulfillment can be. Although there’s a sadness to dropping something that was in the palm of your hand, it reminds me that every moment is precious. Every time you feel the world there, in your hand, it’s such a blessing. It’s a gentle perch rather than something to seize. The “so it goes” reminds me that that’s maybe how it’s supposed to be. It wasn’t a mistake on my end to drop it; maybe there never was a way I could have forced it to stay there—it’s just the way it goes. And even if I’m just completely self-justifying losing things, so it goes.
And everybody wanna reach inside your pockets I tell 'em "red light, stop it" Shit, that give me more headaches than alcoholics
Hm, I bring more flavor than all the seasons Winter, spring, summer, fall, the grass is always greener 'til I cut it all Please leave me to my studies, I give you no applause My hands been countin' money, and it's hard to be the boss But somebody gotta do it (it gets so exhausting) Often with the bullshit, but, baby, I been through it Enough for the both of us So come over later and we won't let no one close to us We could be posted up Yeah
So it goes It's like, in every conversation, we the topic This narcissism, more like narcotics So it goes
Everyone knows it’s a huge statement if I say something gives me more headaches than alcoholics. I do feel like some people are reaching inside my pockets, more often than I would like. I’m giving too much. It’s odd cause I always do say “red light, stop it,” yet there must be something about myself that makes it seem like a green light. The grass is always greener till I cut it all--this sounds so much like me that I can’t even. Maybe that’s why. Def don’t appreciate how it seems like I’m the one that’s going through the bullshit, more than one person’s share. But maybe it just is the narcissism that makes me think like this.
My eyes on the enterprise Nine lives, never die, fuck a heaven, I'm still gettin' high Never mind, did I mention I'm fine 'Cause her pussy gettin' wetter when the weather dry Clementine, peelin' off and everyone get left behind I'm only 5'7'' 'cept I'm feelin' like I'm 7'5"
No relaxing, kicking back, this ain't exactly in the plan I can't get no satisfaction, goddamn They sayin' I been gone too long I could just tell 'em fuck you, but that come on too strong My god, it go on and on Just like a circle, I go back to where I'm from
I love Mac Miller’s confidence (even when he’s down). I feel it too. Yet, despite all of that of course, it never goes as planned. It’s hard to be truly happy in your choices. I haven’t been good with choices this past year or so. Guess this past year, I had choices for the first time in a while. Oddly, even though I’m consciously trying to make intentional, balanced decisions, still my god, it does go on and on, just like a circle, I’m back to where I’m from. 
Been listening to some random songs on my spotify radio, alongside my main man Mac Miller, and it’s hilarious how serendipitous it is. Fell in Love with a Girl- The White Stripes followed by Over- Syd feat. 6lack. This kinda stuff makes me laugh out loud. The most impulsive love song ever, reflected in form by how fast-paced and short the song is. It’s perfect. 
Fell in love with a girl
I fell in love once and almost completely She's in love with the world But sometimes, these feelings can be so misleading "Come and kiss me by the riverside, yeah Bobby says it's fine, he don't consider it cheating, now. Can't keep away from the girl These two sides of my brain need to have a meeting Can't think of anything to do, yeah My left brain knows that all love is fleeting
It’s hilarious cause Bobby more often than not totally does think it’s cheating. I’ve loved this song since 2015 and it’s one of those songs that leaves such an impression each time I hear it. One of those forever bops. 
I’m realizing a lot of these random songs I was listening to without really looking at the lyrics were apt in some way. It’s almost as if Spotify now predicts my life, which is some black mirror shit right there. Some petty, fleeting tidbits:
Over- Syd feat. 6lack
Safe to say, I was right You was wrong, that's okay Why would you agree if you ain't build for the drama? I know when shit ain't right You can act if you wanna, girl I don't wanna say too much And I don't wanna make assumptions But lately I've been giving no fucks We don't know what we doing love How we gon' look for help when you don't know yourself?
(As an aside, realizing that 6lack is actually amazing. I thought he was just gonna be a temporary mainstream dude with “Ex Calling” and “PRBLMS” but East Atlanta Love Letter really makes me rethink him as an artist. He says it straight and I don’t even think he’s fronting, which is amazing.)
I did fluctuate between random moments of feeling all these things, albeit of course, very briefly and not as intensely as perhaps these lyrics denote. And yes they’re petty.  But it’s more a sentiment than an actual feeling:  
Loner- Kali Uchis
I just gotta put it out there And maybe it's not deliberate And I know you never asked me I don't want to be an option But if you don't want me now No, boy, I don't want you later Don't try to come and eat with me
Superficial Love- Ruth B.
You're really cute I must admit But I need something deeper than this Baby if you want me, then you better need me 'Cause I'm so done, not being your number one And if you wanna keep me then you better treat me Like a damn princess, make that an empress
This song is a subtle reminder of course that once I’m ready for something, I should be treated like an empress. We forget that sometimes.
I can feel you on my lips all the time But I just wanna feel you in my heart and on my mind
Actually so interesting cause this song is pointedly not how I feel in some ways. Makes me wonder whether what I want is superficial love. Which leads me to:
The Need to Know- Wale feat. Sza
Tryna keep it low Keep 'em on that need to know Tell everybody that we're just friends But to be honest that platonic shit's for TV shows
I'm not tryna pressure you Just can't stop thinkin' 'bout you You ain't even really gotta be my boyfriend I just wanna know your name And maybe some time, we can hook up We can hang out, we can just chill
Again, this song made me laugh today. A causal relationship maybe should be physical, yet here/there we are/ were. 
I know Fletcher means it more seriously and ironically (for good reason), but at the end of the day, despite all the bits of emotion I feel, in the best sense, it’s all love, in the most truly millennial diffusion-of-conflict way possible (All Love- Fletcher).  And to be honest, whatever this is (cause love is a grossly inappropriate word, just a good filler) is just a feeling (Love is Just a Feeling- Joey Badda$$). I was and am def more in the camp of Stwo and Jeremih, (Neither Do I- Stwo and Jeremih) and Drake currently to begin with, so it’s really all good in the end. 
The Motion- Drake
It's not me and you, it's not me it's you Say you're moving on, well, I guess that's just the motion I guess that's just the motion
Yeah, looking back on it, at least my pride is intact 'Cause we said "no strings attached" and I still got tied up in that Try being with somebody that wanna be somebody else I always thought she was perfect when she was being herself Don't even know how to help, but I guess that's just the motion, yeah She'll probably come around Soon as I settle down, that's the motion Oh-oh, I guess that's just the motion
Definitely have some doubts cause platonic shit’s for TV shows, but internally, I feel more settled. Having let it all out and explored all my petty fleeting roller coaster emotions these past few weeks, ultimately, I feel like it was actually a good learning experience, and a reminder of some things I value about myself. It’s a reminder to keep growing, to keep understanding myself, and to know my worth, which may have been a bit hazy these past few months on so many fronts. It’s hard in the moment, but if I look within myself, this is what I wanted and what I had been saying all along. It’s something I’ve never been able to fully execute before and really wanted to this time around, so I’m excited that that’s finally happening. And at least I do have some soft spots to look back on (If The World Was Ending- JP Saxe, Julia Michaels).
I’m excited to be more myself. So it goes, in the best way.
10.26.2019
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