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#the guy was super supportive and his gf was like im gonna beat u so bad
oofluc · 4 years
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⌠ AXEL AURIANT, 20, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, LUC MONTAGNIER! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in AWARENESS TRAINING, BREATH CONTROL, HAND TO HAND COMBAT + KNIFE FIGHTING SKILLS, SWORD TRAINING, PRECISION SHOOTING, FIREARMS & SWAT TRAINING; and they DID go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of ( dried blood on busted knuckles, forced smiles and sweat drenched after training ). when it’s the (virgo)’s birthday on 09/17/1999, they always request their SEARED SCALLOPS from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation. ⌿ ooc mochi, 23, she/her, gmt ⍀  
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slight warning to those who saw i originally planned him to be an anxious soft boi … i was wrong also there is a suicide mention & some subtle child abuse maybe... plus it’s kind of long ? and an incoherent mess but whatever !! plotting is welcome either on tumblr or on discord which you can find me at mochi#7066 !! his pinterest is here yes i went overboard with sections esp bc im gonna add more hdjf !! stats here and a full connection page here with most stuff i have so far ! @gallagherintro​
PARALLELS
fred jones | scooby doo
stefan salvatore | the vampire diaries
hatsuharu sohma | fruits basket
noatak | avatar: the legend of korra
FAMILY
phillipe montagnier | 54
ameline montagnier | 46
marc montagnier | ✝
luc montagnier | 20
charles montagnier | 18
elias montagnier | 18
HISTORY
the montagnier family was originally located in the south of france until luc’s grandfather moved them to quebec. their empire was in manufacturing all kinds of weaponry and selling them to governments and other spy families and organisations. if you needed something a bit obscure or unique, this was the family you'd come to.
luc grew up in a fairly isolated countryside area in a family of four brothers who he loved for the first few years of his life. first was marc, shy and respectful, luc himself two years behind, and then another two years graced the family with twins; charles and elias who lived by their own rules. marc and luc had always been close, marc was the best big brother possible and luc loved him a lot.
eventually after being pitted and forced to compete against each other for so long, it got quite personal and their bonds started being tested. their mother turned a blind eye to their father's borderline abusive methods when luc overtook his older brother in their father’s tests and training. bruises and broken bones were only natural in training so there wasn't much she could say even if she wanted to.
from as long as he could remember, he'd been firing guns. there was a shooting range on their estate and they went on hunting trips, too. his dad often had him show customers the potential of their weaponry and so he'd always been thrusted into that life whether he wanted a say or not. it’s been clear since he was around fourteen that if anyone was taking over the family business it'd be him, not his older brother, marc.
this definitely caused somewhat of a rift between him and marc, as he'd end up getting much harsher punishments when luc would disarm or ground him.
luckily for luc, he did enjoy fighting and was exceptionally gifted in the life planned out for him. he was always the most determined to gain their father's approval, which definitely showed in their results and how obedient he was in front of the man. when he finally got what he wanted, he didn't quite expect it to mean what it did. it was rare but every now and then he would kill for his dad. whether it was someone who betrayed the family or a potential threat to their business, if his dad told him to, he would, no questions asked. it was during this time he was more excluded from training with his brothers since he would be with his dad instead.
SUICIDE TW !!!!!!
his oldest brother marc was sent to blackthorne once he was eighteen and ended up committing suicide at the end of his second year, with luc set to follow the next year. this news was shocking for the montagnier family as luc's father was bitterly embarrassed and disappointed by his firstborns' death, wanting to cover it up as a murder so it couldn't be tied to the family name with such dishonour. it quickly created a divide as charles and elias defended marc's actions and revealed he'd been struggling with depression for the majority of his life, much like they did, which was all unknown to luc, who, for the first time, felt the repercussions of his father's favouritism. he had a new found rebellion against him that was violent with them going at each other's throats for the foreseeable future. luc ended up avoiding his place at blackthorne in hopes to piss off his dad and becoming more reclusive and bitter as time went on.
he really took his brother's death personally, believing he was a factor in it and wishing he'd been there for him more closely. if anyone so much as mentions marc to him he will be on guard and very easily angered. i think before marc died he was very charismatic, egotistical at times and driven whereas now he’s lost a lot of his energy and is more negative & aloof.
the following year was Rough™. he was no longer his dad's golden boy and the family dynamic shifted a lot with marc's death as luc ended up protecting his younger twin brothers instead of beating them for their dad's favour. he's certain he'd have been disowned had his mother not aligned herself with the kids as well.
i think their family dynamic is kinda like the cha family from sky castle if anyone has seen it !
luc eventually decided to enrol in school late, only to end up at gallagher instead. which... i mean, i think before marc died he was excited about attending blackthorne. so he’s bit ??? uncertain about the girls school.
PERSONALITY
genuinely i think it comes down to so many factors, whether he’s in a good mood, who’s speaking to him etc but neutrally he’s quite charming, happy to mess about a bit but more or less takes most stuff too seriously. since he’s not around his dad i do think he will explore a lot more and seek out adventure and fun but if he’s got a test or something due the next day then he’ll bail early since he is defo the type to never let his grades or performance be ruined
he’s quite cocky + likes to win no matter what so yes he will ruin a friendship to beat u at monopoly. second place is last place in his head.
at his best he can be confident, alluring, courteous, loyal… at his worst he's aggressive, destructive, apathetic and always says shit he doesn't mean !!!! will he apologize ?? unlikely but he'll try n make it right once he’s calmed down
thinks the best way to deal with things is with his fists, he’s so EASY to snap and start a fight n he’ll.... maybe apologise for it
i think he defo likes to pretend he’s got no problems and so reverts to a social, supportive friend every once in a while. the type to be brutally honest !!
he’s a definite know it all, thinks he’s the dog’s bollocks, gods gift etc !!!!! doesn’t believe in god but still. I kinda see him a bit jocky idk why but more brooding n isolating 70% of the time bc he’s easily pissed off but when he’s having fUNNNNN he’s ok like a solid guy at times just easily angered
very flirty, he's a major ladies man despite actually being GAY. which is a secret. sh. only two people know he’s gay and that’s his current beard girlfriend ellie cavanagh and childhood friend regine ren. more ppl can defo find out in time and i’m sure ppl have speculations ? maybe have seen him hooking up with guys or something when he thought no one was looking etc probs think he’s bi who knows!!! but for now those two are the only people he’s actually spoken to about it!!!! so if anyone else tries he will deny it as he’s very against the idea of coming out so will not discuss it ty pls.
and it’s not that he doesn’t enjoy sleeping with girls, he’ll be having a great time regardless but he just aint abt to love them like that pls understand
still, he is in a current relationship with ellie who is acting as his beard for him. they have ‘ dated ’ before and are off and on a lot, so they probably seem pretty toxic tbh since ellie n him can clash n argue and he defo still hooks up with other girls despite being in a relationship so feel free to kill him for cheating !
wanted connections !!!
going off the last point, maybe some of ellie’s friends who come at him for how he seemingly treats her !!!
i'd love for blackthorne ppl to have known his brother, he'd have been around about 22/23 and a fourth year now if he was still alive so ?? it might help luc with some closure if he could talk about him since it happened at blackthorne
ppl to know the family, some family friends would be amazing !!! i feel regardless of alliances etc their family would have stayed as neutral as possible since they're selling weapons so they want all the customers.
so people that know HIM while he was growing up would be interesting esp those expecting him to have joined blackthorne when he was supposed to 2 years ago, and obvs him probably changing from who they knew him as to a more negative version now
might put a wc for his twin bros as they potentially joined his arrival at gallagher as first years too but who knows. they’d be 18 so if anyone wants a family friend connection that is around that age, maybe they were closer to the twins than luc ??
he sleeps with a lot of girls to kinda ‘make sure’ no one knows he’s gay as he defo doesn't feel comfortable with being out. the guys that he sleeps with he'll always pin it on being too drunk to remember or he'll threaten them if they told etc ?? he's very on edge about it and would only hook up super secretly sooo if anyone’s down for that with him
and then obvs need a lot of ladies he’d wanna sleep with to keep his image
previous ex gfs ?? from prep schools !!!!!!!
some positive influences would be good
bad influences as well bc tho he is a bit of a party guy, he doesn’t drink loads and he doesn’t do drugs !!!!!!!!!!!!!! but…. I mean i bet he could be convinced now he’s away from home so
study / sparring buddies !!
i’d love someone to teach him pop culture n normality !! his childhood was training and competing with his bros so he defo doesn’t watch many movies or tv or play games etc so ? someone making him watch all the harry potters ?? binging parks and rec ?? he’d find it so dumb but who wouldnt enjoy it ??
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ligayang-blog · 5 years
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while my ps is booting up lemme talk to u about bakusquad ..... aka bi disaster squad. also theyre poly. they’re all dating. all five of them. u cant do anything abt it.
mina ashido.
mina’s afro-asian, her dad’s black. her skin’s slightly a darker shade of pink than u see in the anime. she has large freckles too bc shes an alien queen.
she has add babey. she’s also autistic. 
she has a large preference for girls! she’s openly more flirty towards them and loves hanging out with her gal pals. ofc her boys come a close second and she loves them just as much.
she’s a trans woman. she’s kind of very hairy bc of, u kno, hormones. she doesn’t really shave towards the leg area and doesn’t care. she’s still a queen regardless!
kirishima’s the first person she came out to. she came out to him during middle school when they were both close graduating. they’ve been secretly out to each other exclusively during these days but were super supportive of each other’s transitions. she’s very proud of kiri too; he’s her horn buddy 4 life ! she loves him a lot and is her fav out of the squad. dont tell any1 tho.
she LOVES dogs. she’s a big dog person ! she will fucking scream if she ever sees a dog and she will pet it instantly.
she loves video games and owns a ds and a switch.idk how a switch works but she loves it.
she’s like.. 5′8″. shes tall as fuck and is the tallest in the squad next to hanta. hanta’s a beast she cant beat him ):
kirishima eijirou.
kiri’s half filipino. he isn’t fluent in tagalog though and you can hear his accent when he speaks it. he can understand it perfectly tho!
KIRISHIMA HAS TWO MOMS DIE MAD ABOUT IT
he has a strong preference for guys. if a girl can like ... beat his ass ( mina ashido ) though she’s ( mina ashido ) immediately his type ( mina ashido. )
he’s trans .. he’s the one who came out to mina first! it’s a cute story. he was nervous abt it bc he found out abt trans ppl’s existence through tv. it was the funniest shit bc its set up was like your typical cliche anime confession scene. twas in the classroom when everyone left. kiri was nervous and was looking down. he admitted to her that he feels like he’s a man rather than a girl, then mina’s eyes sparkled and her smile grew, grabbing his own hands as she squeals in delight : “ I’M TRANS TOO!!! “ and u kno what happens. theyre so cute i love them
kiri can actually cook well FUCK you bakugou. his mama taught him how to and he actually loves cooking a lot.
bakugou katsuki.
katsuki’s gonna be adopted by miruko and fuyumi when they get married fuck what everyone says i hate mitsuki
he’s deaf bc of his quirk. yes he does the petty thing and turns off his hearing aids when he doesn’t wanna listen to you.
he’s diagnosed with bpd after he goes to therapy. he’s slowly trying to get better though.
him and izuku’s relationship are?? slightly better now??? they’re good mates now. frankly he never really hated him; he was more of an attack to his pride hence why he brought him down. it’s not a valid reason for what he did though take note.
he has a huge pref for girls and by that i mostly mean uraraka ochako SKMFJWIROMWIJROM
he’s a trans man ! no one really knows it until they find out except for izuku ( whos also trans ) obviously. they just find out when they find out. he doesn’t like making it a big deal or else his dysphoria cranks up.
his hair isn’t spiky. it’s kinda fluffy. he just likes making it spike bc it looks cool like that.
he has a tooth gap bc his dumbass tripped one time they went out. he lies about it and says its bc he got into a fist fight. but izuku knows. he’s gonna use it against him when he finally sn-
kaminari denki.
he’s half fili too ! he’s really fluent in tagalog though since he grew up in the philippines for about 8 years. he can also write in baybayin.
he’s bigender ( demigirl / trans male ! ) and uses she/her and he/him. sometimes she wears the girls uniform whenever she feels like it. 
the entire bksqd refers to her as both their gf and bf. they literally always change it and don’t just mention one. denki wld die for them all
because of his quirk, he has some scars that aren’t necessarily permanent on his arms. they dissappear after a while when he uses his quirk to its full extent.
he acts stupid purposely sometimes whenever his friends are down since they take joy in that. sometimes it’s not really good for his pride and mental health but denki’s more of a selfless person when it comes to his friends’ happiness.
he’s like.. 5′5″. and he STAYS like that until he’s an adult. he never fucking grows anymoremjMLKJM
big gay-mer. kinda bad at it though but it’s whatever he’s having fun
he has adhd and dyslexia and he’s trying his best!
has?? a really good singing voice?? you’ll swoon???
sero hanta.
the braincell of the squad. they never use it though so they all can just die
bigender ( nb / nb girl ) too but doesn’t ry speak about their identity. uses they/she/he/xe pronouns. they dont care what terms you use to refer to them AJKLMS
is? really lazy? will say they dont know ALWAYS even if they do know
is rlly sweet tho. they’re the mom friend. they enjoy looking after people and will if you’re being a dumbass.
has written like 50 callouts. they’re all directed to m*neta
he’s also half vietnamese heh
has a little sister ...... he loves her a lot. also why he comes out as a big sibling figure AJKLMSFJLKSM
idk what to add anymore im tired
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wiener-blut · 6 years
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i was tagged by my bb @babypaulchen ages ago and now the time has come to finally do this shit!! i told u i was gonna do it Brig!!
rules: answer these 85 questions and tag 20 people (i wont tag anyone bc im doubting i even know 20 ppl on here lmao)
— what was your last…
1. drink: peach flavoured ice tea 2. phone call: my mom bc i asked her if shes interested in some hyacinth bulbs for her garden since the ones that stood in my room decayed 3. text message: to my cousin, setting a time where we can call and chat 4. song you listened to: actual surprise - its not Rammstein *ooohs and aaahs fly through the crowd* it was “The Schuyler Sisters” from Hamilton 5. time you cried: yesterday bc i had the worst fucking headache ever and i was being a whiny bitch
— have you ever…
6. dated someone twice: nope 7. kissed someone and regretted it: uhh no? 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: yes 10. been depressed: yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: yes, multiple times and ive come to the conclusion that throwing up makes me feel better afterwards like im back to being able to actually perveice my environment again lmao
— fave colours
12. black 13. pastel pink 14. actually i kinda love all colours idk
— in the last year have you…
15. made new friends: yes! 16. fallen out of love: no 17. laughed until you cried: yes, multiple times, good 18. found out someone was talking about you: like uh shittalking? idk so i guess not 19. met someone who changed you: uhhh kinda? 20. found out who your friends are: um well i found out that my friends are good friends and that i love them and that i dont want to miss any of them 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list: what? u can “kiss” someone on facebook? lmao i didnt take a look on facebook for literally years .......man i had a massive brainlag here. i thought u can now “kiss” ppl on facebook like u can “poke” ppl on facebook and it didnt come to my mind this could mean “irl” lmao bury me IF it means irl tho, then yes
— general
22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: pff idk man who the fuck still uses that shithole of a site anyways
23. do you have any pets: no but i had a super cute and fluffy bunny and i still miss him and think about him everyday also i plan on having half a farm and half a zoo in the future
24. do you want to change your name: not anymore; i used to hate my name bc its so outdated and the only answer i ever got on introducing myself was “hey my grandma has the same name isnt that funny” but then more and more people told me my name was pretty and unique and well now that im older (sounds like im 40 lmao) im even kinda fond of it
25. what did you do for your last birthday: umm uhh i guess i was studying for my exams lol but i remember my gf cooking an amazing dinner for me 💖
26. what time did you wake up today: uhhhhhh smth around 9am i think
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: actually sleeping for once bc that headache knocked me out completely
28. what is something you can’t wait for: fucking going to fucking Hamburg in fucking five fucking days
30. what are you listening to right now: the birds chirping outside
31. have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes i had a classmate named Tom........he was a bit strange tho.......
32. something that’s getting on your nerves: i cant think of anything rn
33. most visited website: Tumblr and Youtube
34. hair colour: natural? blonde / current? dyed it pink two weeks ago
35. long or short hair: long ass hair and i mean, literally, they reach all the way down to my hips
36. do you have a crush on someone: ohhhahahaha so, so many, one - and maybe the king of em all - being Christoph Schneider (not obvious at all cough cough)
37. what do you like about yourself: uhhhhhhhhhhh.........;;;;; i guess... uh... *insert more unintelligent noises* maybe my legs?
38. want any piercings: no, except for maybe some on my ear
39. blood type: 0 positive, i think
40. nicknames: Lily
41. relationship status: super duper gay af with @haifisch-ohne-traenen
42. sign: officially capricorn (i like to say “the last capricorn” bc it sounds like “the last unicorn” and well my birthday is on the last day that still counts as capricorn), but honestly im more of an aquarius
43. pronouns: she/her
44. fave tv show: i recently watched Grimm and the story was okay but the cast was like super adorable and i fell in love with every single one of them
45. tattoos: none. YET. i have plans for so much i just am very bad at deciding
46. right or left handed: right handed 47: ever had surgery: okay, small story time. there are these childrens books by german illustrator and author “Janosch” in which a tiger and a bear are best friends and i used to love those books. so once, tiger got ill (his stripes slipped out of place) and he needed to see the doctor. and the exact line was “soothing small shot, blue dream, surgery over, noticed nothing, tiger healthy”. and i once was in the hospital bc there was something wrong my nose (i dont remember what it was tho) and so they anaesthetized me (and my fav stuffie which i brough with me for mental support) and afterwards i told everyone of my “blue dream” and everyone was like ????? wtf kid bc they didnt know what i was talking about and it was just some months ago when i finally found out that a narcosis isnt called a “blue dream” and that i just knew this bc of this books which i adored and tbh i was like MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE “BLUE DREAM” IS AN ADORABLE TERM FOR IT 48. piercings: none 49. sport: i did ballet for 15 years and i still love to dance around the house and the mother of my best friend once called me cute bc i cant stand still and always spin around or stretch my toes while lifting my leg or do some pliés and tbh i wasnt even aware of that
50. vacation: uh...i love? lmao
51. trainers: umm like my shoes? mostly wearing my black doc martens
— more general
52. eating: i love me some good salad with tomatoes, mozzarella and tuna but ngl a pizza margherita could beat that salad any time. or a nice ragout fin. or mac’n’cheese. i love food in general, okay
53. drinking: i’d kill for a tequila rn. but like non-alcoholic beverage - plain water, yes thank u
54. i’m about to watch: some movie with my gf which we havent decided on yet
55. waiting for: my gf to return home from work so i can smooch her pretty face
56. want: to cuddle honestly
57. get married: since its legal in germany for some months now... idk tbh, its not smth i debate about on a daily basis
58. career: um i have a vague plan for becoming a speech pathologist but yea... its very vague
— which is better
59. hugs or kisses: hugs
60. lips or eyes: gotta say eyes
61. shorter or taller: i dont care actually
62. older or younger: um sweats loudly...... older (fun fact i recently calculated the average age of my celebrity crushes....yes i was bored.... and it resulted in 50.... well.....)
63. nice arms or stomach: arms, fucc me up
64. hookup or relationships: relationships
65. troublemaker or hesitant: me? kinda both
— have you ever
66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: yes 68. turned someone down: not really?
69. sex on first date: nope
70: broken someone’s heart: probably
71. had your heart broken: uh yea...kinda
72. been arrested: no
73. cried when someone died: yes, im a whiny bitch so i cry easily
74. fallen for a friend: yeah binch im dating that lovely ho right now... im gonna leave Brig’s answer here bc its perf and same here
— do you believe in
75. yourself: ugh
76. miracles: i want to
77. love at first sight: no
78. santa claus: i want to lol but no
79. angels: fuck yes
— misc
80. eye colour: blue-gray-green-ish mud 81. best friend’s name: Dana
82. favourite movie: so? much? i cant decide, really
83. favourite actor: Tom Hiddleston, i love this british dork, lemme tell u
84. favourite cartoon: phuh, idk i dont really watch cartoons
85. favourite teacher’s name: SWEATS LOUDLY AND AGGRESIVELY i had two massive teacher crushes back in my school days and that makes me a bit biased but im gonna say Herr Wolf was a great teacher bc he always said “hey, astronomy’s a minor subject, the test won’t be hard and i wont give u homework, u guys concentrate on math, german and english” and tbh we need more teachers like that
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jungkook97 · 7 years
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But then again we don't know the whole story now do we ? I really hope he isn't so weak minded to stay friends with him if the abuse was true
im sorry but when are you guys gonna stop with the “we don’t know the whole story” bs every fucking time gd fucks up, hmm? it’s funny i always hear this shit when he fucks up, but when he does something great, here are ALL of the receipts!!! of his kindness!!! and humility!!
first of all, stop fucking babying him. he’s fucking 28 years old, and he’s fucking gd ffs. he has too much money and fame and shit to still latch onto friends like he has none. he has the fucking power as one of the most popular idols of this generation to drop most of these fake ass friends he has, and you guys fucking know that, ok. i know this. he could get new friends who idk, don’t fucking beat up their gfs, and also would probably help support all of his endeavors and also idk, not invade in his privacy (let’s not get started with ben baller or yoon ok, let’s really fucking not).
second of all, i LOVE when u guys like dismissing EVERYTHING and anything like i love it!!! what exactly do u guys need to fucking know about christina and king for u to actually believe in her, huh? do u need video evidence or some shit, a full transcript, all texts and idk, pics of her scars or some shit? last time i fucking checked, this isn’t court, my friend. why is your first reaction gotta be “well we don’t know if it’s true”? i hope to fuck if you have a friend who’s in that situation, u wouldn’t be asking if it actually happened or not because woo…ur a real piece of work.
third of all, please explain to me WHAT kingmck does that’s super important to still keep him around? he djs, right? what a totally rare role that’s totally not irreplaceable! it’s not like seungri has idk, a record label of just djs and +82 squad could’ve been like, “hey jiyong, seungri has natural high records right? can you ask him if we can have a dj to do this event? that would be great”. LIKE. simple! but nah, they continue on with this event, tell christina who’s also at paris and be like, “lol so ur ex is coming w/ us and uh, i know you guys are no longer together and he kind of was hella abusive to u but uh…if he tries to look for u, just call the police yeah? ilu haha” LIKE. WHAT?? if this squad was the shit, they would’ve been like “hey so christina’s there and idk if we want u around her rn” like they can’t do that solid for her??? what?? ??? ?? ?
and I KNOW U GUYS ARE NOT DOING THIS BC U CONDONE ABUSE. you guys are doing this bc gd’s involved in this shit. i fucking know bc i’ve been there where i excused something problematic he fucking did and said “well maybe he didn’t intend to do that” like NO. also, not everything revolves gd and most of us who are talking aren’t doing this with an ulterior motive. do u think we LIKE seeing gd fuck up? do u think we laugh and pop champagne or some shit? do u think we would spend hundreds and hundreds of dollars and time and everything on him and bigbang if we hate his ass? do u think that i, someone who STANNED HIM FOR 5 YEARS AND WAS ACTUALLY THERE FOR HIS SCANDALS AND BS SINCE 2010 like seeing him become like this????? do u think that it makes me happy?? please take this moment and get ur fucking body out of his ass please. if you guys got any fucking moral compass, u know this shit isn’t right.
i’m so fucking grateful to know that not all gd stans/vips are apologists, and may the lord and holy spirit bless these gd stans who stay and gotta deal with u assholes bc woo….oh my god. godspeed to all of u and im so fucking sorry u guys gotta constantly deal with this shit every time he does something. if i would treat all of u out for dinner, i fucking would.
one last thing to u anon: fuck you. also unfollow and block me if you think any of this shit is ok. i don’t want to see any abuse apologists following my ass.
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3inghao · 6 years
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HI CRUSH ANON HERE AND I WANT TO START OFF BY SAYING TO ALL THE PEOPLE THAT FEEL EMOTIONALLY INVESTED IN MY LOVE LIFE I LOVE YALL HAHHAHHA I DIDNT EXPECT FOR ANY OF THIS TO HAPPEN :'))))) at the same time tho i feel like things might have to be put on hold for a while i dont know !!!! ok sorry sorry ill explain so ,, ive figured out that im like really really into this boy. in a way thats probably not the best for me right now, esp bc ive got a lot of things to juggle right now (1/17)
but also bc ive been thinking and like ,, ok so this story might put things more into perspective. so its like monday and i get a text from him thats just like ‘hey what are the rest of your classes for today/do you have like 15 min or something to be in a shoot of mine before it gets dark’ and im like PANICKIN bc ofc hes asked some of us to be models for his photography hw before and its always super casual BUT this is the first time that IVE ever been asked specifically (2/17)
and so obviously i jump at this offer and im like ‘umm i dont have any more classes today so sure just lmk when and what to do :) also whats the shoot about?’ and hes like ‘ok cool we can meet at your room at like 5:15 and ill tell you about the shoot when we meet up :)’ and he wanted us to go to this reaaaaally pretty park at sunset and do the shoot around that time and i was like ‘ok do u want me to wear anything specific’ and he was like ‘nothing in particular :)’ (3/17)
and so i start getting ready and im nervous af bc it meant spending more time alone with him and i felt so unprepared for that LMAO but yeah so he comes up to our room and i open the door and my heart skips a fucking BEAT and i almost slam the door in his face but i force myself not to aha and so we go and hes like ‘ugh im so tired i want coffee lets get coffee’ and so we went into the starbucks around the corner but then i was like yo will we make it to the park in time (4/17)
and hes like ‘o shit yeah’ so we leave without getting coffee rip but yeah we go to the city park and oh my gskldgskd it is so fucking pretty its right before sunset so everything is golden and the sky is rainbow but you can already see the moon and holy one of the prettiest views i think i have EVER seen !!!!! and then he explains to me what the project is finally and hes like so its an experimental photo set thats supposed to represent all the things we left behind in modern society (5/17)  
and so for me he said he wanted me to pose in the city park at sunset sitting on a bench with my hands cupped like i was holding a heart (hes going to photoshop the heart in later when hes editing the pics) and then like leave it behind on the bench and look at the sunset behind me which is supposed to represent and i quote “leaving love behind in the pursuit of beauty” and i literally was like 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 the whole time LMAOOOOOOO (6/17)
but yeah so we did that in like 15 min but after we were done i legit didnt want to leave bc (i wanted to spend more time with him but also) IT WAS SO FUCKING PRETTY SKDHJDFH and ahhhh i like looked over at him and he looked sooo at peace just like looking out over the water and the sunset and the scenery was so beautiful i almost blurted out hi i think ur beautiful but i stopped myself in the nick of time thank god LOOOOOL (7/17)  
but he like made eye contact with me and i like held myself together but there was a moment where i felt like djdhskjdkd idk how to describe it i was kfskshdhdjdh idk it could be just my imagination but I FELT LIKE THERE WAS SOMETHING THERE AHHHHHHHH and i was so tempted to ask him about the hand holding on saturday but i didnt i held myself back again thank god lol and then all of a sudden he goes ‘hey do u want pics’ and im like wot (8/17)
and hes like ‘do u want some pics of urself? like we r already here so !! plus i want some photos to put on my photography insta’ and i was like sljkddjkd ok why the hell not so he directs me into different poses and stuff like that and after the sun sets we finish and then we r walking back bored af so we start wandering around the little shops nearby and then we finally get home and then our friend texts the group chat like ‘hey anyone want dinner now’ (9/17)
and we were already really close to a dining hall so the two of us went and got dinner and our friend just joined us later and then during dinner when it was just the two of us we started talking about me losing the bet of when our friends were gonna hook up and so i have to treat him to japanese bbq and we were talking about when and hes like ‘well theres nothing im gonna celebrate for a while except my best friend from home is coming bc her sisters getting married here” (10/17)
and i was like ‘omg thats great ??? congrats to her !!!! omg’ but idk this is where it gets kind of confusing bc idk we were talking about maybe going this weekend but his best friend was coming and he was planning on spending all his time with her but i think he said that we could go get japanese bbq with her too ?? and i think i said ok but i dont think we locked down any like specific date and time at all ??? this part is a lil confusing to me (11/17)
so anyways that happened and i havent really interacted with him after that whole thing like we still have a streak on snapchat lol but he will do this thing where he wont open or respond to my snapchats for like literal hours ,,, even though i know hes ON snapchat bc he will like watch my stories ??? like w o t ???? i dont think hes doing it on purpose if that makes sense ?? but its still annoying and borderline infuriating and sldkghsldkgh (12/17)
and also like ok ,, his best friend came like yesterday and i saw her on his snapchat story and h o l y g o d she is the most beautiful girl on all of fucking planet earth i shit u not like i actually !!!! screamed when i saw her shes so fucking gorgeous and on his story theres a bunch of snaps of the wedding etc and a pic of him and her in a photobooth and sldkgsldkghs holy ???? i dont know how to put this into words but they are p e r f e c t for each other (13/17)
like in every way possible they are literally best friends and shes an actual goddess and together they look sooooo aesthetically pleasing it is legitimately intimidating and ahhh sldkgldgkh so the thing is !!!!! i already have practically no self esteem left ,, and a dinner with like HER and THEM will probably d e s t r o y m e from the inside out i will literally just feel inferior in every single way possible and i have NO IDEA HOW TO EXPLAIN THIS UGH !!!!!! (14/17)  
but yeah that kinda just made me realize that i might need to take a couple steps back ??? from this entire thing and him in general ,, and also that before anything happens i really want to work on me first like obv x has got his shit together and theres that whole thing with his best friend and idk !!! i like have pledged to go to the gym way more and get my fucked up sleep schedule back to some resemblance of normal and f o c u s on my academics and skincare and eating more healthy !! (15/17)
like i wanna be a person that everyone can look at and be like yes !! u go girl shes got her shit together and yeah !!!! aha :’) and also i need to COOL IT with my feelings about x like as amazing as he is and as fun as it is to spend time with him and as much as i want to pursue everything about this relationship i dont think im in a place mentally and emotionally where i can handle that so !!!!!! for now im gonna (try to) just distance myself a lil (16/17)
and yeah !! if he asks to go out for japanese bbq tonight/tomorrow i think im just gonna be like ‘ahh i wish i could but im super swamped with work rn sorry :(((‘ (which is 100000% true) and just leave it at that *deep sigh* anyways thats where i am at this point thanks for tuning in yall aha :’) i just need to not be hurt in this relationship and distancing myself for now is the only way i know how to prevent that ,, and i probably wont be that successful but !!! heres to trying :) (17/17)
awwwwwwwww crush anon BUT THE SUNSET DATE (yes im calling it a date) does his best friend go to the same college as you guys?? bc if he’s single and she doesn’t live anywhere near him there probably really isn’t anything between them that you need to worry about. I def support the focusing on yourself bc the more confidence you have in yourself the less insecure you will be once you actually get into a relationship so go you!! my gf and i are actually starting to facetime each other and work out together too so all of us can struggle in that tryin to be healthier lyfe! i think in one of the other asks you mention more happened? but i also think that maybe a bbq date with him wouldn’t be bad? and i think you should try to have it with just him and no one else! idk fill me in on any new developments :0
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