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#the first 3 seem to have been part of a series
helen-with-an-a · 20 hours
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I am an Adult pt 3
Hi. So I wasn't planning to do a part 3 of the series but I got a request and it was really cute/funny so I thought why not ahaha.
Barca Femeni x Reader ; Lena Oberdorf x Reader
Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3
Word Count: 3.3k
Description: R gets a girlfriend
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It took a lot of work to find the right balance. The give and take, knowing where to push and where to pull. That fine line between knowing when to go to the team for help and doing it yourself.
After the events of last Spring, you had been better at relying on the girls for essential things, and they had been better at asking you about them without nagging. You sent a picture of critical legal dates to Alexia, who would set a reminder to ask you about them a week or so before the actual deadline. She felt like she was checking up on you and helping you without you feeling smothered. It was fantastic.
And then you got a girlfriend.
Initially, Your crush was slight, something you could repress and squash down. But then you played her in the Champions League group stages. Wolfsburg and Barcelona were drawn in the same group by some bizarre coincidence or the universe interfering in your love life.
Lena was so sweet and kind; it was crazy. You first interacted when you had to do some media together. UEFA media decided to do ‘head-to-head’ videos where some players from each team had to do videos, interviews, and challenges together. And with another stroke of luck – or divine intervention once again – you and Lena were paired together. You were caught off guard by how gentle she was. On the pitch, she was a force to be reckoned with solid tackles and her fearlessness of a yellow card. That was the only impression you had of her. Of course, you had stalked her social media for months, so you knew she seemed like a fantastic friend. But off the pitch, it was like a switch had flipped. She was so soft, it was unreal – always asking if you were ok with the questions she was asking and checking in with you after challenges. It was making your head spin in the most fantastic way.
“What do I do?” You asked Ona over coffee. She was the one person you trusted with this secret.
“Well, well, well. Where has the confident, cocky, ‘I’m so good with girls’ Y/N gone?” She joked. You had never experienced these feelings before, and you were panicking slightly.
“Ugh, never mind. If you’re just going to make fun of me-” you shook your head, starting to gather your things.
“No, wait, hey, c’mon. Do you seriously like her?” Ona grabbed your wrist, stopping you from leaving.
“I … I don’t know. I think so, but I don’t do relationships. I never have. It’s just been one-night stands and friends-with-benefit type things. Casual sex. Never anything more. I don’t do more.”
“Well, neither do I,” Ona cut in. You raised an eyebrow at her.
“Want me to tell that to Lucy?” You said sarcastically, chuckling at her deep blush. “Ona, c’mon, I’m serious. I really like her,” you all but begged.
“Ok, ok. No hay necesidad de preocuparse. If you really like her, just ask her out for coffee, or dinner, or to the movies, or something. Just be your normal self. You know you have game. I’ve seen the number of girls you’ve brought back after nights out. So just be your charming self, flirt a little, and ask her on a date.” You nodded at her words. Flirting, you could do. Charming, you could do. Asking her out on a date … you hoped you could do.
You asked her out after the first leg. It was in Barcelona, so you messaged her to see if she wanted to see the sights. You knew she wasn’t going home until 2 days after the match, so on her off-day. You knew it was slightly unconventional to ask someone out via text, but you think you might never do it if you asked in person.
Y/N💙❤️: Do u want to go to see some stuff in Barcelona with me on ur day off?? x
Lena💚: By rselves? Like a date???
Y/N💙❤️: Yes x
Y/N💙❤️: Would u like to go on a date with me on ur day off??
Lena💚: Yes
Lena💚: I’ll send you the hotel details. I could meet u at like 10? 11?
Y/N💙❤️:  I’ll pick u up at 10 outside the hotel – wear comfy shoes!!! <3
Lena💚: Can’t wait 😁
The day was beautiful; you took her to a little bakery for breakfast – laughing a few hours away over good coffee and excellent food. You then spent the morning doing the touristy things before having lunch at a tapas place, again not noticing the time passing as you giggled and sent longing stares at each other. The afternoon was filled with more happiness as you showed her the quieter spots and your favourite places to relax. Dinner was a classic paella, finally drawing up the courage to hold her hand on your way back to drop her off.
You were just around the corner from her hotel when you pulled her to stop.
“Um … I had a perfect day today.” You said as you shuffled closer,
“Me too,” she replied, softly pushing some hair away from your face. You licked your lips, staring at hers. She slowly leant in, her eyes flicking between your lips and eyes. You leant in, too; you were so close to kissing her – one slight adjustment at you would be.
A car horn sounded right next to you, making you both spring apart. Fuck!
“I … um … I better get going,” Lena said, gesturing towards the hotel. You could tell she was a little disappointed
“Yeh, no, I get it. Just … text me, yeh? Maybe you could show me around Wolfsburg when we travel to you guys?” you said nervously, not meeting her warm brown eyes.
“Hey,” she called softly, using her free hand to grasp your chin and make you look into her eyes. “I will absolutely be showing you around my home. We will definitely be doing this again,” she said with certainty. You felt your heart jump at the idea of a second date with Lena. She squeezed your hand before she left, looking back with a soft smile as she went.
Y/N💙❤️: SPOTIFY LINK – One Direction, ‘I Should Have Kissed You’:  https://www.spotify......
Lena💚: SPOTIFY LINK – Odeal, ‘Next Time’: https://www.spotify.......
After the second leg, Lena took you to a Christmas Market, saying that even though it was only November, you had to experience one. It was lovely. You laughed, ate too much food, and drank too much hot chocolate and mulled wine. As she took you back to your hotel, you came to a stop, much like you had in Barcelona.
“Can I actually kiss you this time?” You asked her.
“Bitte Küsse mich.” You didn’t speak German, but she clarified her intentions as she put a hand on your hip, shuffling closer until your breaths mingled. Her lips were soft and rough and warm and cold all at once. It was perfect. The world stopped spinning momentarily as you slowly let your tongue explore.
“Mein Gott” she said as you parted.
“Guess I’m going to need German lessons.” You laughed, pressing your lips back on hers.
“Don’t worry, I know a willing teacher,” she said as you separated again.
Your relationship was semi-secret; text exchanges left you giddy, hushed phone calls left you too-smiley, and facetimes were taken as you hurried from the rooms. Everyone could tell something was different, and most people could guess that it was probably down to a person; they just couldn’t figure out who.
“Alright, out with it. Who’s got you so smiley?” Patri asked as she sat on your sofa. You were having a younger girls' night—like you do most evenings. Patri, Pina, Esmee, Ona, Jana, Martina, Vicky, Bruna, Cata … it was a bit of a squeeze in your one-bedroom flat, but you made it work.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said as you smiled into your glass.
“Oh, please. You’ve been smiling away, laughing, and being disgustingly cute. Who is it?” Jana swatted your thigh at your non-answer.
“I don’t kiss and tell,” you stuck your tongue out at her.
“Don’t make us do detective work!” Martina threatened, pulling up her phone and going onto your social media.
“It’s recent, so check who she’s recently started following,” Vicky suggested. You were so grateful that you had been following Lena for years since you had played against her at club and national levels.
“It happened after the group stages,” Ona chimed in. You threw her an offended glare. You knew she wouldn’t actively spill your secret, but you had hoped she wouldn’t join in on the hunt for the identity of your girlfriend.
“You know something, Ona!” Pina accused, a finger coming to point at her. “You know who it is, don’t you?” They soon switched from interrogating you to Ona. Logically, it was the smartest move; Ona could crack very easily. It’s how you found out about Lucy – you had just narrowed your eyes at her for slightly too long, and she broke, spilling everything to you when she stayed the night a few months ago. You watched, somewhat amused, as Ona squirmed, avoiding eye contact, ducking her head, biting her lip. She was close to spilling everything. You knew she was terrified of telling secrets that weren’t hers, but she couldn’t help it.
“Alright, guys. Enough. Stop interrogating her.” You broke up the onslaught of questions, moving from your sofa seat to the chair she was curling up in. You could tell she was close to tears, and you didn’t want to do that to her – you knew she already felt guilty enough. You shuffled her around a bit before pulling her onto your lap.
“Right, you get 5 hints. If you can’t guess it from them, then I can’t help you. And no more asking Ona!” You glared at them all, ensuring they understood how serious you were. “Right, she’s German. She plays in Germany. She’s a midfielder. We’re similar ages. She’s made her senior international debut in 2019.” You watched as the group dissolved into loud discussion.
“Lo siento mucho. No querías que nadie lo supiera y ahora...” Ona hurried out, close to tears again.
“Hey, no, no, no. It’s ok, Oni,” you reassured her as you kissed her forehead. “No es tu culpa. I promise you. I do not blame you.” She nodded and buried her head back against your collarbone, watching the carnage in front of you. You quietly laughed to each other at the scene – Wikipedia was pulled up on everyone’s phones, the German national team website as well as they speculated on who you were seeing. You slowly pulled your phone out, quickly texting Lena.
Y/N💙❤️: Like ½ my team are tryna guess my girlfriend rn x
Y/N💙❤️: Do u mind if I say yes if they guess it right? x
Lena💚: ahahahahaha
Lena💚: No, I don’t mind. R u gonna tell them who I am if they get it wrong tho?
Y/N💙❤️: Whichever u want x
Y/N💙❤️: I don’t mind telling them x
Y/N💙❤️: Would make it easier when I disappear to Germany for a few days and u suddenly turn up in my Barca jersey
Y/N💙❤️: I want to tell them about u x
Lena💚: Tell em
Lena💚: Can I tell my team?
Y/N💙❤️: Omg yesssss xxxxxxxxxxxx
Lena💚: also – I will never wear a barca jersey!!
Lena💚: Even if it does have ur name on the back 🤢
Y/N💙❤️: ugh RUDE.
Y/N💙❤️: But ud still be my WAG tho right? x
Lena💚: I’ll always be ur wag hehe
Y/N💙❤️: so kind of u x
Y/N💙❤️: I’ll always be ur wag too btw x
“Alright, alright. We have 2 possible answers.” Bruna turned around with a notebook in her hand. Where did they get that from? “Our first guess, we think, is less likely. Klara Bühl. She’s German, plays for Bayern, is a midfielder, and debuted in 2019. You’re similar in age. But we haven’t played Bayern in a while. So, how would you have met? So, we don’t think it’s her.” She paused, staring at your carefully crafted neutral expression. You met Klara once; she was lovely. She handed the notebook over to Cata. “Our final guess is one we think is pretty true,” Cata explained, adjusting herself to sit cross-legged before you. “We played Wolfsburg at the Champions League group stages, and you disappeared for the whole day the day after and came back all smiley. So, we have reason to believe it’s a Wolfsburg player.” You didn’t realise how seriously they were taking this. “But … most of the Wolfsburg team are German, but not all of them are German midfielders that debuted for the national team in 2019.” She paused dramatically. You knew she had figured it out. “That’s why our final guess is …” another final pause.
“Oberdorf,” Patri shouted out, clearly over Cata’s dramatics. “You’re dating Oberdorf.”
“Oi. Aquesta havia de ser la meva revelació” Cata lunged at Patri, loud shouts of Catalan descending on the house.
“D'acord, d'acord,” you shouted over the noise as you saw a wine bottle wobble precariously as someone knocked into the table. “Sí, Lena is my girlfriend.” You admitted. If you thought the noise was loud before, you were deafened by the cacophony that descended on you. You buried your head in Ona’s hair, laughing as your friends melted into chaos.
You knew that once the younger ones found out who your girlfriend was, it was only a matter of time before the older ones did. You hadn’t expected it to be the next day, however. You were in the changing rooms, chatting to Patri and Pina as you prepared for the session ahead of you. The door banged open, and you were met with an outraged Lucy. As she stalked towards you, you glanced at a very guilty-looking Ona.
“She looked at me.” Ona defended herself.
“Grow a backbone, Oni.” You shouted as Lucy dragged you from the room, remembering to add a nickname in so she knew you weren’t that mad at her.
You were dragged to an empty conference room. Alexia, Paños, Marta, Mariona, Caro, and Irene were already sitting on one side of the table. Lucy pushed you into the single seat opposite them and took her place next to Irene. You sat in silence for a full 3 minutes before anyone spoke.
“Is there something you want to tell us, cariño?” Alexia asked smoothly, folding her hands in front of her like she was conducting a business meeting.
“Ona needs to learn how to toughen up.” You weren’t too angry with Ona, but it slightly annoyed you that she had cracked so easily. You wanted to tell the older girls yourself to avoid this situation.
“Leave her out of it.” Lucy jumped in. You clicked your teeth at her, flicking your hand in her direction, dismissing her protest.
“You have a girlfriend,” Irene stated, bringing the conversation back on track.
“Ja, das tue ich,” you said, chuckling at their reaction to your German. They didn’t fully understand you but knew ‘yes’ in most languages. You could see Caro laughing slightly – she had played for Wolfsburg; she knew you were using your newfound language to irritate them.
“And you didn’t tell us?” Marta asked
“Ja, das ist richtig,” you smiled.
“Cut the crap, pequeña.” Paños hit the table, making you jump slightly.
“Bien. Si tanto quieres saber,” you snapped. “Yes, I have a girlfriend. I’m sure you already know who, but it’s Lena. I asked her out after our home Wolfsburg game. She asked me out after her home leg. We’ve been dating for a couple of months now. I really like her. Anything else you want to know?” You asked Alexia directly. You could see the internal battle – the desire to know everything about your new relationship with her promise to treat you more grown up.
“Everyone, out,” Alexia instructed after a minute, using her captain’s voice to show she was serious. “Cariño, please stay?” She asked. You nodded as the others left. Caro seemed to find this whole thing funny, but everyone else was grumbling and muttering about how they found it rude that you didn’t tell them and that you were too young for a girlfriend. “I thought we promised to tell each other things like adults?” She asked you.
“I know. The others only found out yesterday if it makes you feel any better. Ona’s known for a while, but only because I asked her for help.” You sat back in your chair, careful to leave your posture open.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” She seemed a little upset by your actions.
“I didn’t want this to happen. We’ve finally found a balance. And I knew that this would disrupt that balance. And it’s so new; I didn’t want to tell you guys until I knew what we were, and it’s only really been a few months. She asked me to be her girlfriend at New Year’s, so …” you trailed off, hoping that she understood where you were coming from.”
“Entenc. But cariño, why didn’t you tell me?” She asked again.
“I … I don’t know.” You did know. You knew exactly why you didn’t tell her. And she knew it, too. “Ok … well … I didn’t … I didn’t want you to treat me like a child again. Relationships are new to me. I can do the … physical …” you both cringed slightly, not entirely comfortable with those topics just yet, “side of relationships fine. But emotions. They’re new to me. And I wanted to figure it out for myself first. I went to Ona ‘cos she’s my best friend. One that needs to learn how to resist interrogation better, but she’s still my best friend.”
“Don't be too hard on her, pequeña. She meant well. And I get why you didn’t come to me first. But can I ask a few questions?” She watched as you left your seat, coming around to her side of the table, and sitting on her lap.
You sighed, “ask away.” She laughed as she squeezed your waist.
“Does she treat you well?”
“Sí,” you answered honestly.
“Do you treat her well?”
“I think so. I hope so.” You smiled at her concern for Lena
“Can we meet her?”
“As long as you guys don’t give her the talk, then yes.” She leant back to look at your face.
“Can I give her the talk?” You sighed.
“Sí,” you relented, not missing the flicker of excitement that passed over her face.
“When is she coming to Barcelona?”
“Our way game Èl Clasíco matches with a free weekend for her. She’s meeting me in Madrid.” You laughed as she pushed you off her lap, standing up and rushing to the door. “Where are you going?”
“To prepare my speech. Alba never let me do a charla de hermana mayor to her partners, so this might be my only chance.” You laughed at her enthusiasm. She indeed was like your big sister – annoying most of the time, infuriating some of the time, but just a big, goofy kid at heart looking out for everyone around her.
Y/N💙❤️: U might wanna prepare urself now x
Lena💚: WHY???
Lena💚: WHAT DID U DO????
Y/N💙❤️: Alexia knows
Y/N💙❤️: She’s very excited to meet my girlfriend x
Y/N💙❤️: She’s planning a speech x
Lena💚: I am dead
Lena💚: I am going to die
Lena💚: Will u still love me if I’m dead????
Y/N💙❤️: She wont kill u
Y/N💙❤️: I wont let her xxx
Y/N💙❤️: Yes, I will still love u if ur dead xx
I hope you liked it <3<3<3
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hoony2k · 2 days
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BEWITCHED AT FIRST SIGHT
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It's supposed to be a simple task, film another challenge but...why does does his body feel numb, hands shake like jelly and heart beats like crazy?
PAIRING: OT7
GENRE: fluff, angst
WORD COUNT: 2k total
WARNINGS: none
NOTE: hii! It's finally here after eons! I'm finally satisfied with it, this was so fun to write. My favourite is hee's part <3 hope it lived up to your expectations, sorry for the wait. Enjoy :)
Requested. Masterlist
Part 4 of idol!enha x idol! Series
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★ HEESEUNG:
One look and he knows what the heart wants.
Spring wedding, open area near sea, 3-tier vanilla and chocolate cake-
Heeseung’s always been a man who follows his plan so as he approaches, he begins to slow his walk and make himself as charismatic as possible. He pretends he doesn’t want to giggle as he observes how you quickly check him out. Barely noticeable, so swift that one blink and someone would miss it. Thankfully Heeseung was looking, waiting for your reaction. Your expression remains neutral, pretend to be busy fixing your belt.
Heeseung smiles like he’s won the lottery. Of course, it’d be more fun if you pretend you’re uninterested.
After a greeting that shouldn’t be so casual but is, Heeseung’s heart swells with pride seeing how you’re not backing down, keeping up the act but giving him an opening, letting the bait flutter near him but not too close.
“Do you want to rehearse?”, he asks. You barely glance at him and look at his manager but he knows who you’re speaking to. “I was thinking we’d do it in one take”. He shrugs his shoulders. You’re so close that his coat brushes your bare shoulder. You don’t take a step back. Neither does he.
The manager gives the two of you a confused look. “If we take the perfect first take, sure”.
You shine a million-watt smile at her, lips pink with glitter and gloss stretch to show off your teeth. Then, you turn to Heeseung and straighten your shoulders, trying to appear taller than you are yet you still crane your neck to look at him. Your pretty smile is gone but your eyes speak to him instead, daring and bold.
"Are you ready?"
Good thing Heeseung has always loved a good challenge.
★ JAY:
He doesn't think too much about it, it's just a small challenge, greet the person, teach them the dance, bonus points if they already know it and then actually film it and leave. He came mentally prepared to follow the same protocol he usually did when they filmed with female idols.
Although he did not expect to be swept off his feet the moment he heard your laughter as he turned and entered the hall where it was to take place.
Definity is mentally unprepared to see someone so ethereal that for a solid second, he has to pause his walk. His legs seem to be glued to the floor. All he can think of is how he needs to impress you on the first encounter, he has to make sure you keep thinking about him the way he knows he won’t be able to stop replaying your laughter in his head.
However, it's the first time Jay ever felt like this, he’s not sure how to approach it. His hands shake not because he's going on stage for the first time. The tip of his ears feel red and not because he's eaten spicy fried chicken. His tongue feels heavy, his mind scattered with nervousness and not because he's mentally unprepared. He knows what to do- film a challenge of his comeback song, the song and dance steps that have been engraved in his mind.
But when you look at him with those sweet welcoming eyes, Jay knows he’s gone. He stands next to you while his manager speaks but ahh!! he thinks of how he needs your number to be able to feel like he’s crossed the distance between you two.
You turn to address him but he interrupts you with a greeting, voice wavering.
There’s a pause, and confusion in the air but thankfully before it could get any awkward, you cackle and everything is okay again. You stretch a hand out and when Jay encloses it, he can't help but compare the difference in size.
You give him a teasing smile, “how are you?”
He’s not making it out alive.
★ JAKE:
he's not someone that actively watches performances of other groups online but he read up on your profile before meeting you.
Jake knows the image the site uploaded doesn't do you justice because it didn't capture the mole on your face, the delicate curve of your eye or the puzzled look in your eyes as you nod in the conversation.
He's able to recognise his feelings immediately, they're too dangerous. Alarms are blaring in his head and he needs to bottle this up before it fizzes out and he has to explore the sensation in his fingertips.
So that's what he does, he greets you with a big jake sim smile and asks about your day and if you ate.
Your eyes crinkle in glee and thankfully you respond with the same joy as him. Though he ignores how you sound even better in real life. His brain tells him award show performances will never be the same again- he needs to experience you singing live. But before that, he needs to film the challenge.
His manager asks him if he's ready, the unsaid "You good?" is loud for Jake but he replies with another smile. Larger and more confident. He tells himself he won't lose himself in the act- he can't risk it.
Then, he chooses to surprise his manager and himself but moving his entire body towards you and addressing you "Let's do our best!"
You clap in agreement, more motivated than before and Jake almost feels bad. You give him a bright thumbs up and tell him you look forward to his comeback, how sweet venom raised the bar for you. These aren't empty words, he sees the glimmer in your eyes.
Jake fears that he might have been too convincing with his friendly act and now you'll look for him in the halls the way he will try not to do the same.
The challenge is filmed smoothly and time passes by far too quickly much to his distaste. If it was up to him, he'd freeze this moment. Get himself stuck in a time loop with you so he could have eternity to soak in your presence, your confidence, your being.
But it's not up to Jake, it never has and right now he hasn't reached his peak. There are other precious people tied to his career, he tells his heart. It's better if he leaves the interaction here, in the past, ignoring the what-ifs and focusing on how to politely say goodbye and good luck. Focus on how to keep you at a safe distance in the future and ignore the guilt he feels.
★ SUNGHOON:
Sunghoon is aware of the effect he has on people. He’s learned to grow accustomed to how people stutter and can’t hold eye contact with him but he’s never been the one who goes weak in the knees- until today.
It’s supposed to be a simple, quick challenge filming, except it’s everything but that because one looks at you and he can’t stop replaying your shy laugh in his head. He’s rendered speechless. He offers you a ‘hello” nod that he hopes you don’t find disrespectful in your first encounter. He prays it isn’t the last. It’s as if fate brought karma upon him for accidentally leading people on. You don’t even look at him while the manager speaks and he can feel his heart twist.
Sunghoon has never wanted someone to glance at him so badly, so desperately.
“I can teach you”, is what he says, so slowly that his voice catches you off guard. You look bashful again, embarrassed almost and he regrets speaking. Do you like his voice? It didn’t crack even once.
You scratch your cheek, “There’s just one move I’m confused about”. Sunghoon can’t help the huge smile that escapes him. “Want to go over it together before we practise?”
He steps a foot closer, everything is beginning to blur, he can’t hear the murmurs of the nearby conversations, he can’t see anyone but you, not even the managers. Your perfume smells so soft, he wants to drown in it. it’s just you and the confidence in your eyes.
You give him a firm nod and Sunghoon knows the ambiguity behind it.
“Sure, why not?”, you say intending to prolong the meeting.
This time when he smiles, it’s not at your response but at the future he knows you see with him.
★ SUNOO:
He's genuinely so so excited to be here and film another challenge, he loves doing challenges and meeting potential friends. However, when you enter the room, he flashes a knowing smile. there’s a friend to lovers already in the works in his mind.
Sunoo is so bubbly throughout the filming, that it makes you wonder if his cheerful comments are subtly patronizing you. Remembering the first couple of steps isn’t a hard task but he compliments you as if you can solo the whole dance. After you get used to his presence and comments, only then do you realise that there is not a hint of malice or ill intent behind his words and actions, he genuinely wants you to feel comfortable and elt down your guard.
It’s a sweet gesture, one that you’re not accustomed to which is why Sunoo is so careful to not say anything that could be misinterpreted. He tells himself he only feels like he has to protect you because he wants to befriend you.
does he find you pretty? Sure, you’re an idol you’re bound to be pretty. It’s not that big of a deal but as soon as the atmosphere turns warm, with you and the manager exchanging jokes like old friends, he can’t help but wonder if he wants to be friends…or if is there something more his heart wants.
He knows he won’t be satisfied by the line between friends but the ambuity he feels doesn’t scare him. It makes him wonder what the future may hold for you. If you will invite him to film with him. It would be good PR and marketing, it would be something fans would want after seeing you dance to sweet venom. It would be something Sunoo would love- to meet you again. On camera, off camera, it didn’t matter.
But he won’t ponder on the what ifs, he won’t let himself second guess his actions when he asks for your number, and he won’t think if you find him charming as you type in your number. He’ll let the relationship take its natural course and hopefully begin something romantic with you.
★ JUNGWON:
he’s gone a good couple of years locking his heart away, never letting it think too much while he gazes at idols performing. He doesn’t let himself think about other idols unless it’s with a sense of inspiration or admiration. He almost perfected rejecting affection but all his hard work goes down the drain when he sees you.
You’re not even doing anything unusual, just talking to him like any decent person would. You ask him about his day and then drop a “let's work hard!” with a thumbs up and immediately fail at the first take.
It shouldn’t be so endearing watching you practise the same step over again and again but he can hear his heart rattle the cage.
“Put less pressure in the swing”, he advises and has to stop himself from holding your arm mid-dance. He clenches his fist instead and lets a dimple show. You glance at your arm and then back at him.
“I didn’t think about that”, you confess, a bit appalled, “Is that how you do it?”
The question makes him pause and wonder if it is how they all do it. He thinks of Ni-ki and then himself and gives a firm nod, but you don’t seem satisfied, the furrow in your delicate brows doesn’t leave. So you do something that shatters Jungwon’s world, breaks the cage he sweat blood and tears to build- heart leaping out of his mouth.
“I mean, is that how you do it? I want to match my style with yours”.
He blinks once, then twice. The tips of his ears burn red and he stutters for a coherent response. He’s completely forgotten his dance style at the sudden spotlight. The light you’re giving him.
“I guess, I could teach you how I do it”, he laughs unsure at your determined expression. It makes his heart soften.
He knows he can’t afford to start anything less than platonic with you, but thinking about you can’t hurt right?
★ NI-KI:
Ni-ki knows what respect feels like, how the feeling slowly spreads in his chest when he watches his seniors perform. It feels like everything but this. It doesn’t blossom slowly, it doesn’t make him feel jittery all over, it doesn’t distract him from his work to focus on how cute your freckles are or how there’s a hair strand that’s slipped out of your braid. He shouldn’t fix it, should he?
All he knows is that your attention on him will settle whatever he's feeling. Whenever you turn to him with your dazzling smile and sparkly makeup, Ni-ki feels like he can breathe again.
So, he begins to speak and speak and speak until the manager asks him if he wants to practice the dance instead.
You chirp in and agree, somehow you seem comfortable with him and he hasn’t even complimented you yet. All he talked about was how he loved your comeback. He feels his chest swell with pride when he realizes you’ve become more confident and assured when you mimic his teaching. Ni-ki thrives on how well you’re responding to his subtle attempts to appear cool so you can compliment him.
But when you do say “You make the hook look so easy”, fingers pinched and head moving along the beat, Ni-ki is rendered speechless. He was focused on wanting you to compliment him so bad that he had no idea how to react if you did.
Now, he lets his neck flush red and stutters his words, “It’s not that hard”.  It isn’t when that’s what he’s been practicing for months but you haven’t!
The potential misunderstanding grabs him by the throat and he splutters, hands waving to console himself rather than you- you don’t look offended or upset.
 You stare up at him with soft eyes yet Ni-ki has never felt so small.
“I didn’t mind anything”, you comfort him and he notices how your arm jerks upwards to pat him but halts midway, hesitant. Ni-ki lets out a breath to rewire his nerves.
He nods at you, gaining fortitude by the minute but in these moments of hesitancy where he almost touches your hand to fix its position or when you bite back another compliment, he genuinely believes that he’s not the only one with wobbly legs. 
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Thank you for reading!
All rights belong to me. Please do not copy/translate/edit.
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wineauntie · 10 hours
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ONLY ANGEL – Quinn Hughes x fem!reader
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summary: You are an Angel, at least Quinn seems to be convinced so.
note: I’m so hyped for this series istg 🙏
warnings: MDNI, use of y/n, fem!reader, name Layla used (change if your name), alcohol, suggestive content but nothing major.
word count: 2.9k+
Any and all feedback welcomed <3
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Quinn Hughes was wound up tight. He'd been working himself to the point of depletion over the past few weeks, immersing himself completely in hockey to the point where Petey had to intervene. He got like that from time to time. He remembered being a kid and being so obsessed with the game that he'd dream of plays and wake up only to run them.
It was a constant cycle that drained him but he wouldn't have it any other way.
The Canucks had played well tonight, winning 3-1, but the game had been tough and resulted in various injuries for multiple players. Quinn was exhausted, but he allowed Petey to drag him out with a few other guys to let loose a little. They had a solid seven days without a single match to play, it was practically written in the stars.
It was a small enough bar, the one that they had chosen, with a live band and neon red lights plastering the walls. The group had been situated in a booth just off to the left of the bar counter, partially hidden by a pillar. Quinn sipped his first, frigid beer of the night as the guys around him laughed and joked, all of them, one or two bottles into their endeavours. His eyes scanned the room as he drank, drinking in the crowd of people shuffling in and around the bar, collecting their drinks and talking.
Quinn always liked this part of life– the observation part, that is. He liked to watch people as they went around doing their own little things, oblivious to other happenings in another area. It was fun to jump his gaze between the hen party singing loudly with an entire bottle of Sambuca in hand and the two, jacked-up bikers in all leather playing a vicious game of darts in the far corner.
He allows his eyes to jump again, and suddenly the world stills. Now, Quinn isn't one to believe that the world could ever fall silent, but sitting in this booth, in a downtown bar with the constant waft of alcohol, the world completely quietens.
Everything ceased to exist at that very moment…everything but you.
Seemingly, you were smiling at some noiseless joke your friend was making, your finger moving your straw around your half-finished glass as the lights around you, bathed you in red. It bounced off of your hair and skin, reflecting in your shining eyes. Quinn shifted in his seat, his eyes still locked on your oblivious self as his mouth parted ever so carefully.
You were an Angel, he decided. You had to be. No one had ever captured his attention quite like you had, and captured would perhaps be the wrong word. You had completely and utterly debilitated him to the point where his only thought was to approach you and get to know you. He watched as you threw your head back with another carefree laugh, lifting your drink to finish it before your eyes levelled and ran across the patrons of the bar.
And then they landed on Quinn.
Quinn clutched his drink so tightly, that he thought it might break under the pressure. Your inquisitive eyes shone despite the darkness, searching his own lingering pair whilst your lips curled into a small, shy smile before you averted your gaze back to your friend. Quinn let out a breath, one he had been holding in fear of disturbing whatever dream-like state he must've been in.
He felt an elbow to his side, instantly jerking his head towards a concerned Petey, who seemed to be studying him. Quinn cleared his throat and gulped down his drink under his friend's watchful eyes.
"Are you alright?" Petey carefully asked as Quinn placed the empty bottle on the table. "You zoned out for a minute or so…"
A minute or so? Only a minute or so?
Quinn felt like he'd spent years beneath the soft light of your gaze. He felt like he could spend a thousand more beneath it had Petey not startled him.
"Yeah, I'm good, man," Quinn eventually spoke, his eyes flitting toward you. "I think I'm going to go get another drink." He stood and turned to the table. "Another round?"
The guys of the team cheered loudly, barely drawing any attention to them with their cheers blending perfectly in with the bar's upbeat ambience. Quinn made his way through the brewing crowd until he finally reached the sticky countertop. His eyes drifted to you every few moments, he probably looked like a creep…oh god, he definitely looked like a creep.
Quinn squirmed slightly and forced himself to look down at the bar counter. He took a few deep breaths in and when the staff came over to ask for his drinks he bought the round for the table and also another round of whatever you and your friends had been drinking. As the drinks were placed in front of him, he began to carry them back to the table, making various trips, unable to manage them all in one go.
However, by the time he returned to the bar to grab the last few drinks, he faltered in his steps, spotting you waiting where he once had stood.
-
You tucked your hair behind your ear as you listened to your best friend, Layla describe her recent late-night escapades. She'd been on a business trip across the US for the past two weeks and the two of you were due a major debrief.
"Oh, y/n, it was mortifying!" Layla groaned as you chuckled, "I had to rush the guy to the ER!" She took a long swig of her drink before pouting. "I broke his penis, stop laughing!"
This caused you to laugh harder, your head tipping back as your body shook with glee.
"I can't believe you!" You gasped between laughs, one of your hands settling on Layla's as she grumbled whilst the other lifted your drink to your lips, finishing off the remaining liquid. "I knew you were a heartbreaker I just didn't think you'd ever go as far as dick-breaker."
"The worst part is I never even got to finish," Layla commented sadly, her head swivelling around the bar mindlessly. There was a slight pause before she turned back to you. "Oh my…wait, y/n, cute guy staring at you."
You found your hand placing your empty glass down as you continued to look straight at Layla.
"Seriously?" You asked curiously, for all you knew this cute guy was a joke, Layla's been trying to convince you to get laid all month.
"Yes!" Layla hissed, eyes wide as you searched for any signs of a lie. "Look to the right…my right, just at the edge, just to the side of the pillar."
You hummed and pretended to gaze around the bar before you found whom Layla had been talking about. She was right, he had been staring at you…in fact, he still was. Your breath caught in your throat as you surveyed him, taking in his deep eyes and rugged appearance.
Layla was lying. He wasn't just a 'cute guy', he was breathtaking in a way you couldn't even begin to explain. His hair was slightly tousled, his face still and careful as you relished the sight of him. There was something so surreal about him, perhaps, it was the way the lights cascaded over his slightly curled hair or the way he stood out amongst the various other men surrounding you. He was like a lighthouse in the dark, a shining beacon of something…of anything, the possibilities seemed endless. A small smile tugged at your lips before you bashfully turned back to Layla, who held the world's most meddling grin you've ever witnessed.
"You're getting laid tonight," Layla sung rather decisively as her grin remained plastered across her face.
And for just this once, you hadn't argued with her.
It's not like you were a virgin or practised abstinence, you just could never find time to get out and meet people, and that tended to be a huge part of actually, you know, sleeping with them.
You let your eyes drift over in his direction once again, this time catching a glimpse of him ordering drinks at the other side of the bar, not sparing you a single glance. You sighed, your face pulling down as you looked at your hands.
It had been too good to be true.
"Hey, hey, hey," Layla softly chided from where she watched the whole scene. "No being sad allowed, tonight is for fun, don't let that idiot bring you down."
"–And two more drinks for you two," the bartender drawled, sliding across two fresh drinks.
"We didn't order these," Layla scrunched her eyebrows together as the two of you exchanged questioning looks.
"Courtesy of the man in the corner," the bartender huffed before moving on to the next order. Your eyes were wide in shock as you looked towards the man who was now carrying a few bottles of beer back to his table.
"Okay, now you have to go over," Layla gawked, her hands latching around her new drink. "Hot and a gentleman? Go get him and get laid!"
You bit your lip, your eyes drawing towards the man once more before you nodded and picked up the drink.
"I think I'm going to go say thank you," you started, a sudden confidence filling you as you slid off of the bar stool you had been perched on. Layla whistled and clapped, her mischievous grin unwavering as you wove through the crowd. You managed to eventually make your way to where the man had once been standing. There were two beers left standing and silently you thanked any higher force of power that you hadn't missed your opportunity.
You heard someone clear their throat despite the loudness of the room causing you to glance back, only to spot the mystery man looking right back at you.
"Oh, sorry!" You apologised moving out of his way.
"Don't be,"
His voice.
Oh, his voice.
You felt heat rush to your cheeks as he stood beside you, leaning on the bar top, mimicking your stance.
"I just came to say thank you," you explained, your eyes locked on his as he listened to your every word. Now that you were closer you could admire the depth of his eyes much better, you couldn't complain. "…for the drink, I mean."
The man let a small smile quirk up as you gestured to the bar in explanation. "No need to thank me," he replied, his voice smooth like velvet, sending delicious shivers down your spine. His words sent a surge of warmth coursing through your veins as you ducked your head.
"Thank you anyway," you murmured, unable to tear your gaze away from his. The electricity in the air crackled with anticipation, the world around you fading into insignificance as you stood locked in the moment. "I'm y/n, by the way." You stuck out your hand between the two of you, your eyes never leaving his.
"Quinn," he supplied, shaking your hand gently, his thumb caressing your skin as he did so. You gulped as you glanced down at the gesture before returning to his watchful eyes- the eyes you found yourself adoring more and more.
"It's nice to meet you, Quinn," you replied, a hint of breathlessness creeping into your voice as you felt the heat of his hand against yours. The world around you seemed to melt away, leaving only the two of you in a bubble of anticipation.
Quinn's smile widened, his eyes twinkling with a playful glint as he leaned in closer, his face mere inches from yours. "The pleasure is all mine, y/n," he murmured, his voice sending shivers down your spine.
He said your name in a way you imagined someone worshipping another. It was a growl both pleading and deep, urging your senses to go haywire.
You chuckled nervously, feeling a rush of warmth spread through you at his words. "Anyways, I appreciate the drinks," you added, a grateful smile playing on your lips as you glanced around the bar. "It's been a rough week, and it's nice to let loose for a change."
Quinn nodded understandingly, his eyes softening as he listened to you speak. "I know what you mean," he replied, his voice gentle as he reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from your face. "Sometimes, all you need is a night to take your mind off things, a distraction."
You hummed in agreement, feeling a sense of comfort wash over you at his understanding. There was something about Quinn that put you at ease, something genuine and comforting that drew you to him like a magnet.
"Is that what you want then?" You asked, courage swimming through you as you dared to tread along the gap between safety and rejection. "A night to take your mind off things?"
Quinn's gaze darkened slightly, a mischievous glint dancing in his eyes as he leaned in closer, his breath mingling with yours in the space between you.
"Maybe," he murmured, his voice low and husky, sending a shiver down your spine. "But I have a feeling that spending the night with you would be anything but a distraction."
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, a rush of heat flooding your cheeks as you met his intense gaze. There was no denying the magnetic pull between you, the undeniable tension that crackled in the air like electricity.
"Are you suggesting…?" you trailed off, your voice barely above a whisper as you dared to voice the unspoken desire that hung between you.
Quinn's lips curled into a smirk, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he closed the distance between you, his hand coming to rest on the small of your back, drawing you in closer.
"I'm suggesting that we take this somewhere a little more private," he murmured, his voice sending a surge of desire coursing through you. "Somewhere we can really get to know each other."
You swallowed hard, feeling a rush of anticipation flood through you at his words. There was something undeniably thrilling about the prospect of being alone with Quinn, of exploring the depths of desire that simmered between you.
You glanced back at Layla with wide eyes pointing towards the door as she gave you the widest smile and biggest thumbs up.
Without another word, you turned back to the man and nodded, your heart thumping against your chest as you let Quinn lead you out of the bar and into the cool night.
Quinn hadn't even told the guys he was leaving, his sole focus was you and your lip between your teeth as he guided you towards his car that he had originally intended to leave in its spot overnight.
The two of you had remained connected by your hands even when you stumbled on the curbside, flinging you further into Quinn's arms. His hands steadied you, caging you to his body. His deep gaze held yours as you lifted your head, apologies dying in your throat at the lust rising in Quinn's eyes. His hand moved to rest on the small of your back and drew you closer until there was barely a breath of space between you.
You took a sharp breath in as your noses brushed each other, your eyes fluttering as your hands lingered on his biceps.
"I've been wanting to do this since the moment I saw you," he confessed softly, his words sending a jolt of anticipation coursing through you. "Can I?"
You could feel the heat of his breath against your lips, sending jolts of excitement through you. Without a word, you leaned in, closing the distance between you as your lips met in a kiss. Your lips met his in a fierce collision, igniting a firestorm of desire that burned hot and wild. Each touch was electric, sending sparks dancing across your skin as the two of you melted into each other's embrace.
With a hunger that bordered on desperation, you felt Quinn run his tongue over the seal of your lips, seeking permission to explore. He held onto you so tight as if scared you would slip from his grasp. Your bodies pressed together, fitting perfectly like two pieces of a puzzle, with your hands roaming greedily, tracing every curve and contour, leaving fire trails in their wake.
Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourself in the intensity of the moment, consumed by the flames of your desire. Nothing else mattered but the heat of the connection, the overwhelming need to be close, to touch, to taste.
Quinn and you found yourselves lost in a daze, your breaths mingling in the charged air between you. With a soft smile, he retreated, brushing a stray lock of hair from your face, his touch gentle yet filled with a rough and unspoken promise.
Quinn's demeanour shifted upon moving his hand to run his thumb over your swollen lips, his eyes darkening as a low, primal growl rumbled in his chest.
"We're not finished yet," his head tilted downward to face you, his voice husky with need. You felt a smile spread across your face, trying to hide your budding glee at his words.
"I think you need to take me back to your place," you agreed, pressing another searing kiss to his lips before pulling back slightly, moving your head so that your lips grazed the shell of his ear. "To finish, of course."
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diddiqueen · 3 days
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Message in a bottle (epilogue)
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Ellie texts the wrong number, which happens to be yours. Friendship, too many bad jokes, flirting, and maybe something more ensues… (Ellie Williams x girl reader) -> Part fourteen
Series masterlist
BEFORE YOU READ: masterpost on how you can educate yourself on and help Palestine A/N: Ahhhh, we're at the end now! It feels both sad but also exciting as I now can start writing my new series that I'm planning (I literally can't do two things at the same time, I don't understand you writers who can have multiple series going on at once lol). Anyways,,,, I'm so grateful for every single one of you who has read this story<3 All these nice comments make my days really, u guys are so sweet:) I never expected to receive so much positive support on my first fic (I'm not a very experienced writer so it's not really that good ik) but I'm so glad that's the case!!! Okay, here we go with the epilogue (if anyone even had the energy to read this essay of an a/n I just wrote lol)!!!!! Also 3 chapters in 4 days, I'm so generous.
Day 230 Six months later…
“Hello?”
“Hiya babe”, you heard your girlfriend’s voice on the other line. 
“Did you need something?”, you asked her and sat down on your newly-made bed, wondering what the cause of her call was. Ellie laughed before speaking and you could picture her eyes sparkling and dimples making themselves seen in her joy. 
“Do I need something to call my wonderful girlfriend?”, she said back to you and you could hear a hint of something in her voice. What was going on? 
“What have you done now, Ellie? Do I need to bail you out somewhere?”, you interrogated but with a hind of gentleness in your voice. You really had a soft spot for her and her shenanigans.
“So”, Ellie started before continuing, “I might have found something”
“Found what?” Lord, have mercy. This did not sound like the start of something good. 
Her voice came out almost as a whisper when she spoke. “A kitten”
“A kitten? Where?”. A sigh escaped your lip after you spoke, glad that it wasn’t anything worse. “Ellie?”, you added quickly after her lack of response. 
“It was by some dumpster. Someone had just left her there, I couldn’t help but bring her home”, she sounded genuinely upset and you couldn’t help but to melt at her words. Kittens were cute and all but you couldn’t just take one, well it was already too late as through Ellie’s phone call she was in the car and probably on her way home. 
“Fine, but you gotta buy cat food and shit”
“I already have”. Of course she had, Ellie really had a soft spot for helpless things like old people eating alone and apparently cats found in dumpsters 
It had been six months since that first kiss out in the cold, six months since your first date and six months since Ellie asked you to be her girlfriend. A lot of things had happened in between like graduating high school, spending the summer together at your parents summer house and hanging out with your new found friends, Dina and Jesse. 
In some days, you were finally starting college which you had been preparing for since you were a young girl as it just seemed like such a fun time in life. It felt even more exciting now with your new girlfriend by your side. Together you had hired a small apartment close to the university and was in the process of moving in together. Now, you were sitting on your shared bed and waited for Ellie, and the kitten, to come back. You had only sent her out to buy some apartment stuff while you built some IKEA furniture at home. During her one hour away, you had not expected to get a new family member - but that was life with Ellie now. New things always seemed to happen. This whole year had been a complete rollercoaster for you and you had come out of your shell more than you ever had in such a short time. It really felt like the transition from childhood to being an adult, all these new friend, moving out from your parents and having your first relationship. As cliche as it might sound, you couldn’t wait to see what more life outside of high school had to offer. Suddenly a loud noise brought you out of your pondering and Ellie came into view. She was carrying multiple bags of different stuff on her arm and a small fluffy cat on the other. The view could not help but make you smile, she was so pretty and the cat even more adorable. “Hey”, Ellie exclaimed as she put everything down, including the cat which she placed on your bed. It was small, white, black and a little fluffy. “I’ve named her Bob”. You were suddenly brought out of your adoring staring at the cat and lifted your eyes up to her. “Bob? Really, Ellie?”, you said and crossed your arms. “Yeah. It’s a great name for a cute cat like this”. Her whole face lit up as she spoke and you melted at she sight of her, nodding and rolling your eyes. You and her packed up some more stuff and fixed the last things in your bedroom before Ellie got a text, the loud pinging noise echoing through the room. “Oh, it’s Dina. They are coming over tonight”
“Her and Jesse?”, you questioned. “Yup and some more of her hundred friends”, Ellie responded and rolled her eyes sarcastically. Ever the social butterfly Dina. “They are joining us here before the pre college party tonight”. Oh, right. That was tonight which you had totally forgotten in your cleaning and fixing rumble that had taken you all day. Soon this place were going to be filled with multiple adolescents, ready for college life to start and even though social events weren’t your strong suit, you were actually really exited. Finally, you felt like your life had started for real.
Day 231 (10.28) she was all over you last night
(10.28) Who? (10.28) Also why are you texting me? We live together
(10.29) you know who
(10.29) No ellie i think u have start seeing things (10.29) Should I take u to an eye doctor? (10.29) An exorcist maybe? 
(10.30) i know what I saw
(10.30) Stop being jealous
(10.30) you don’t think it’s hot?😔
(10.30) A little maybe
(10.31) i knew it (10.31) you’re obsessed with me🤣
(10.31) Says the jealous one
(10.31) but…but…
(10.32) Butt
(10.32) you’re such a child 
(10.32) Does that make u a pedo then?
(10.32) ewww no
(10.33) Funny that’s ur initials (10.33) Ew
(10.33) LOL😂😂😂😂 (10.34) Ellie come back to bed now
-─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
(14.47) what's long and hard and full of semen?
(14.47) My dick 
(14.48) hahaha ur so funny babe 😆 (14.48) but no (14.49) a submarine
(14.49) Somethings never change huh
(14.49) what do you mean? (14.50) my irresistible charisma or hilariously funny humor
(14.50) Hard choice (14.50) i miss you (14.51) I’ll be home in an hour (14.51) Why can’t you come now?
(14.51) Because i have work to do? (14.51) Responsibilities (14.52) You should try it (14.52) Ouch (14.52) I am searching for a job (14.52) I actually have an interview tomorrow (14.52) Oh that’s awesome babe (14.52) Its gonna go great (14.53) I believe in you<3 (14.53) Thanks babe (14.53) Well i gotta go now (14.54) Breaks over
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───
(22.19) you looked so pretty today
(22.20) Gay 
(22.20) why am I even putting up with you?
(22.20) Because u love me 
(22.21) that I do
(22.21) Love u too
(22.21) gay
(22.22) 😔😔😔 (22.22) Are you done in the bathroom? (22.22) i’ll be in bed in 5
Day 232
(15.39) I made som pizza if u want when u come home
(15.41) omg I’m literally obsessed with you 
(15.41) What else is new?
(15.42) it’s funny you never knew I flirted with you in the beginning 
(15.42) I thought u were just joking
(15.42) i literally said your boobs looked good
(15.42) Yeah, as a friend
(15.43) you’re so oblivious, you’re lucky you’re so cute
(15.43) ❤️❤️ (15.43) So are you
(15.43) oblivious or cute?
(15.44) The first one obviously 
(15.44) Love ya too babe
(15.44) 🙄🙄🙄 (15.45) (Love u too)
Day 233
(10.12) how are you today?❤️
(10.12) I’m good, thanks (10.12) Wbu, babe?
(10.12) i’m great😇 (10.13) how are your boobs?
(10.13) They are fine
(10.13) let me see
(10.13) No
(10.13) i wanna make sure they are okay😔 (10.13) Its ten in the morning (10.13) yes and?
(10.14) Okay ariana(10.14) Ur impossible
(10.14) dude 
(10.14) Dont dude me
(10.14) sorry love (10.15) How did ur interview go btw? (10.15) good actually (10.15) better than my last one (10.15) Well we don’t need to bring up that now do we? (10.15) no please not (10.16) well, it felt good (10.16) i hope i get the job (10.16) I’ll cross my fingers for u (10.16) aw thanksss (10.16) i’ll see you tonight? (10.16) Yeah of course<33 (10.16) are you exited for classes to start tomorrow? (10.16) Well exited and exited (10.17) I happed to like not studying (10.17) yeah but its gonna go great (10.17) you’re so smart (10.17) Says u miss astrophysics (10.17) well they don’t call me a genius for nothing (10.17) Who has ever called u a genius? (10.18) jesse
(10.18) And he’s smart? (10.18) stop it, you know he can’t help that😔 (10.18) Anyways (10.19) I gotta go back to working or whatever (10.19) So byeee (10.19) oh my dear breadwinner (10.19) Hell yeah im husband material (10.19) does that make me your housewife? (10.20) Obviously
(10.20) wouldn’t want to be anything else (10.20) Sap (10.21) you love it (10.21) Maybe (10.21) (Yes)
A/N: Yeah I don't even know what this is but I hoped it was an okay ending! Thanks for following me through this series! I appreciate every single one of you<33 Also, I have a new series planned which will be a lot more angsty and chapter one will come in some days. Check it out here -> Romance is dead Taglist: @gato-chino@crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @elliescunt222 @elsbabyxx@onlinelesbo@slut4mascss@elliessweetheart@fullmachinegirl@mikellie@kitkatkittycat111@yumimak@ellieschair@deliriousrn@scarletchase1989@jokerpokimoon@seraphicsentences@w1ll1amz@strap-me-down-please@isitadinosaur@elliesactualgirlfriend@radioheadfan699@zoehxnji@4ftergloww@macaroni676@harrysslutsstuff@sc0ttstre3ted@rxreaqia @emst4rr @jairaanderson@marrycv@eviestevie-14@ellstronaut@dixitu@elliewilliamsblunt@boobdrug@tearouthearts@desireesfics@elliewilliamsmiller0@sapphhicslut @kawaiibreadbouquet-blog @dixitu@ellslvr @kazo0339 @tphmnv @lez-zuha (sorry tumblr doesn't let me tag some people)
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cry4mina · 2 days
Text
Take Me Back to Eden - Ascensionism (Part 4)
(Nayeon x Fem!reader)
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Take Me Back to Eden - Choke Hold - Part 1
Take Me Back To Eden - Granite - Part 2
Take Me Back To Eden - Aqua Regia - Part 3
Word Count: 8.5k Angst/Angst/Smut Summary: Reader finds out the truth behind what Jihyo and Nayeon has been up to, she takes the steps to become more independent and heal her grief, only to fall back into old habits. TW: Betrayal, suggestive themes, lying, break ups, cheating, manipulative behavior, anxiety, top!reader x Bottom!nayeon, choking, degradation, truthfully its rough sex but anyways, let me know if I missed anything! A/N: After a reasonable amount of requests I decided to continue the series. I also decided to write smut for the first time. Thank you to @saiiidahyunee @neoplatinum and @miinatozakiii for the help/advice for this part! <3 (srsly, this wouldn't have happened without them)
--
“Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other?” 
Pulse radiating in every cell of your body, waiting to see if there’s another text from Jihyo. Absolutely baffled as the lie shatters your consciousness, returning you to the jagged spiral you were still reeling from.
It was true. She did this to you. 3 years of deception and it was all happening right under your nose. 
Knees buckling underneath you as you think back to the conversation you had in the kitchen the night prior. 
The tears she shed, the way she spoke…the way she studied your face… She was acting through the whole thing and you believed her. 
“Nothing has happened since, and nothing like this would ever happen again. I wanted to tell you but the person I was then and the person I am now are two completely different people. Even that version of myself would never dream of hurting you in such a way.”
 Stomach churning at the words previously said, fighting back the hatred growing in you. 
‘Please understand that I would do anything to remove this from my past…our past.” 
Nauseously fighting the tears threatening to spill from your eyes, remembering how your skin felt against hers as you slept next to her the night prior and you cringe knowing it was all fake and you had fallen for it. 
Nayeon’s phone vibrates in your hand again, revealing another text from the other responsible party. 
“We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you.”
As you stare at the screen, truth reflects back onto your face, flashing through your memories with her. Decorating the house on the holidays, her meeting your parents, anniversaries, going out to dinner; Even the small touches to show affection that intertwined themselves into everyday life hardened your exterior as you built your walls back up brick by brick wondering how long they’ll hold up with the digital reinforcement you’ve stumbled upon.   
The need for the truth pokes at your chest while opening the text thread between her and Jihyo. 
———————————Yesterday 11:34 pm——————————
Jihyo: Y/n didn’t seem to believe me when we spoke, I hope she listens to you or we might have a problem. 11:34pm
Nayeon: We might have a problem then 11:35pm
Nayeon: I don’t know if her and I will make it thru this 11:35pm
Jihyo: Do what u can. We will just have to cover our asses if the company finds out we are sleeping together. 11:37pm
Nayeon: It seems like she can’t really make a decision. I put her to bed a little while ago because she was exhausted. 11:38pm
Nayeon: She did bring me dinner last night… 11:38pm
Nayeon: She actually just came to the living room and def only in underwear…I’ll update u in the morning. 11:40pm
Jihyo: Just because she’s the piece that’s keeping the public and our company from finding out doesn’t mean I want to hear stuff like that, Nayeon. 11:42pm
———————————Today 8:12 am——————————
Jihyo: Did she believe you or do we actually need to stop seeing each other? 8:12am
Jihyo: We can lay low for a little while and let it all simmer down, if that’s easier. But I don’t want to stop being with you. 8:14am
Forgetting to blink as you’re reading the thread, in disbelief that you almost gave them the forgiveness they asked for. Caught between the smoke and mirrors, an illusion painted for the public eye to cover the secret that only they knew. 
Screenshot clicks lightly as you send yourself the evidence and delete the pictures from the text thread as well as Nayeon’s phone. You wanted to be able to look back on this and remind yourself that she was responsible, and that you'd never give her another chance. 
Sliding her phone into your pocket, you walk into the bedroom. 
Nayeon is distracted in the bathroom preparing for your morning shower together. Hearing the door of the shower sliding open and the sound of the head sputtering to start. The clashing of the water hitting the tile mimics the storm you felt brewing up inside of you.  
As your rage builds you quickly grab a backpack out of the closet, unintentionally knocking a tote bag down as you pull the straps. Trinkets of all kinds scatter across the floor, you flinch at the sound and look down at the mess before immediately unzipping the bag.
“Is everything okay, baby?” Nayeon yells from the bathroom, it's muffled by the foam of her toothpaste as you hear her spit into the sink.
Body tensing at the pet name, knowing the illusion of the past 3 years was uncomfortable and devastating. 
“Yes. Just dropped something.” You shout back trying to hide the towering rage that is rocking against the winds of change your digital confirmation created. 
 “Okay, my love, I’ll be waiting for you in the shower.” She sings back trying to play cute with you. 
You roll your eyes while shoving the bag full of everything you’d need for the next few days as quickly as possible. Clothes, charger, wallet, important documents, and your laptop. 
Putting on the first pair of pants you see and not even bothering to change out of the oversized sweater you threw on to cover up while you had your morning coffee. 
Quietly running to the dresser to grab some socks, your foot kicks some of the mess left on the floor. Sighing at the annoyance of it being in your way but it slows down enough to see what the contents were. Jewelry you’d never seen, love notes opened with a wax seal, and countless pictures of Jihyo and Nayeon together. 
Frozen in fury as you take in what you’re unintentionally uncovering, a singular tear drenched in anguish falls - the tap on the photo echoing in your ears. Reaching your limit and the overflow of emotions are about to spill out of you in a slurry of misery and hatred.
Grabbing the specific Polaroid of them kissing, tucking it into your pocket with her phone and leaving everything else where it landed. Preparing for the confrontation, knowing she’ll probably try to cover it again. No more running from it and no more hiding from it, you had her cornered with the proof that she was a liar. 
Hopping onto the counter in the bathroom, you waited for Nayeon to realize you’re there. The shower door is slightly open, she left it for your entrance. Opening her eyes momentarily to see you staring back at her, much like most mornings. 
This morning was different though, after the fight you got into that spread out over a week and the information you got this morning; there was a thickness in the air that wasn’t just steam. Almost visible in how it intimately caressed your heart into a conflicted mess of emotions, waging wars inside your chest.  
 “Aren't you gonna join me? I’ve got a blank canvas for you if you’d like to make more art out of me.” She coyly says, winking at you.
 Your cringe is covered by the steam coated glass, repulsed by the thought of this stranger touching you the way she used to. The trust was no longer there. Being past anger, past sadness, and clinging to the numbness so you could get through this conversation. 
Trying to keep your brain on track when Nayeon steps out of the shower and walks towards you, seductively. A thin layer of sweat is starting to appear on your skin as she gets closer to you, you’re trying to talk yourself out of the thoughts of what would happen if you just showered with her and forgot what you found. 
You can’t do that to yourself, you know that. You would never knowingly accept less than you deserve but your heart was fighting you with every step she took towards you.
She puts her wet hands on your thighs, allowing the material to cling to your skin, “why are you wearing these? Just so I can take them off?” Her pupils are wide as she fixates on your face watching you half glare back at her.
 Swallowing as you try to keep yourself from shaking as the numbness wears off and turns to despair and then shifting erratically to pure anger and then back to despair again. The pattern is familiar, you’ve lived it before a few times. Trying your best to conceal the rapidly changing mood and keep a straight face.
 It seems to go unnoticed as she parts your jean clad legs and slides her waist between them wrapping her arms around your neck. Shivering at the warmth of her skin against yours as her fingers lace through the hair on the back of your head, trying to get you to cave into her wants. 
Your body is definitely reacting to her being this close to you the way it always did. The ache in your core screaming at the familiarity but your mind is repulsed. How many times had she done this with Jihyo? 
Not pulling away, allowing her to set herself up, the same way she let you. Leaning into your ear, lips brushing against its shell as she whispers “I’d love to take this off, if you’ll let me.”
“Do you really think you deserve it after what you’ve done?” sternly leaves your mouth. 
Clench her thighs as you speak, she loves when you talk to her that way. Not realizing that your voice is heavy with a different type of malice, not the usual light hearted mask you wear for her when she wants some roughness. 
 Hands come off your neck and slide under the sweater. She’s relieved you don’t have a bra on as she scratches harshly down your back, like she always did during sexually driven moments much like this one, in an attempt to rile you up more. 
It works for a moment, you groan and chase after her lips as she teasingly pulls away from you. Challenging your power and being a brat, refusing what you were asking for to intentionally make things more heated. Two can play that game.
“Close your eyes and hold your hands out.” Softly spoken while only an inch away from her face. Her half lidded eyes looking up at you for a moment. The sparkle for you is still encapsulated in her big brown eyes. 
Immediately listening, placing full trust in you. Removing her from between your legs, you guide her back and against the glass shower door. It rattles on impact as she leans against it, inciting a gasp from her. 
Her hands are up and out, waiting for whatever you had in store for her.  She’s smiling up at you, eyes closed, intrigued about what you’d place in her digits. 
Reaching into your pocket and pulling out her phone and the picture. Looking at them one more time before placing them directly into her hands, almost as an offering, like it’s your ticket out of this mess you unknowingly found yourself in. 
“You can open them now.” Tone leaving little to mystery as it sneers out of you. 
Her brows furrow as she realizes something isn’t right. Nayeon opens her eyes and looks down at what you’ve placed in her hands. Confusion waves across her face until she sees the image of her and Jihyo kissing, staring back at her. Hearing the gasp leave her lips, a deep gust of air is still not enough for Nayeon as she almost starts to panic.
You’re out of the room in seconds, her quickly following behind you, she grabs onto the sweater leaving a wet handprint that matches the ones on your thighs. 
 “Please, let me explain!” she begs frantically and tugs on the sweater harder to try and get your attention while you’re gathering more necessities for your daily routines. 
“Drop the act, Nayeon. I don’t want to hear anymore from you.” Your tone is growing more callous as time goes on. It roughens up the few soft spots she had even if it was entirely her fault you were going through this life changing event.
 Her face shifts from worried to annoyed as you sprint around the room, not bothering to organize anything being placed into the backpack.
“And where are you going to go, huh?” she asks, tilting her head and dropping her arms to her side heavily, allowing her frustration to show for a split second before she remembers she’s still completely naked and dripping wet from the shower on the rug in your bedroom.
Taking a step forward to get in her face, you startle her, not expecting you, soft gentle y/n, to approach her in such a way. Leaning back when you stepped forward but not breaking eye contact. You watch her leg start to bounce as she gets more anxious realizing you were angry in a way she had never seen, fire behind your eyes noticeable as you adjust your stance to show her you weren’t backing down and you were no longer scared to lose her. 
Movement feeling foreign to her as she’s unable to keep calm like the Nayeon you knew of. Backed into a corner and baring her teeth as you confront her about her wrong doings, is an attempt to control the situation and she was about to try an old tactic that had worked previous to this. 
Playing with the belt loops on your jeans, she brings her voice back to the sweet one you used to know,  “Are you just going to keep running away from me? Or can we talk this out? I thought we were okay. I thought we could get past this together” Retorting in a semi-cooled tone. Eyes watering again and the block of ice in your chest is trying to thaw in you as she leans in to put her satin lips on yours for a small second of contact before you avoid the affection, knowing you’d crumble at the act. Not allowing yourself to fall into her grasp again, knowing she was willing to hurt you in an incomprehensible way, and feel no guilt.  
“That was before I saw those texts and before I found the bag of secret Jihyo shit in the closet, Nayeon!” 
Looking down at the phone you handed her to read the message. The realization of what’s happening washes over her face, it couldn’t be played off as a misunderstanding anymore. She had been caught red handed and had to deal with the consequences. 
Nayeon leaned in harder to her act of fake innocence, insinuating that you were in fact the big bad for violating her trust like she wasn’t the one who burnt yours to crisps and used the ashes as eyeshadow.
“Why did you go through my phone?” She crosses her arms, pushing her breasts together. She’s trying to distract you with multiple tactics but it wasn’t working, her act faltering when scrutinized. . 
Extremely angry, your brain couldn’t see her as anything other than an enemy. “Is that really what you’re worried about right now? Our entire relationship was a false front for you and Jihyo and all you can do is try to flip it on me?! …Who made you like this?” harshly asking just trying to understand what she had to gain from hurting you in such a way. 
“You don’t trust me?” Nayeon says sweetly, touching your torso again. Pulling away roughly, unable to  believe it’s even a question she thought would be a good to say out loud, when you both knew what the answer was. 
 “You have been cheating on me for the entirety of our relationship and you have the audacity to ask if I trust you? Fuck you.I gave you the opportunity to be honest with me and you threw it right back in my fucking face, Nayeon!” laying into her, letting out every drop of anger she caused you through your teeth.
“3 years of what?! You completely ruined everything, our entire relationship was fake so you could fuck Jihyo without suspension! So absolutely not, I don’t trust you in any sense of the word.” voice starting to crack as you tear up, “and to think I was actually going to propose to you” letting the sadness of the future lost memories drain out of you onto the person who caused it all. 
Speechless and not believing that the docile person who was head over heels for her could have such venom to spit. A new light is shining down on you as you display your livid behavior. Oddly, even more attracted to you than she already was, she was in a trance as she realized what you said. 
“You were going to…propose?” Quietly said back to you. Her eyes are saddened as she starts to understand the weight of her choices and all the things that will never happen again between the two of you. The guilt cuts deep, creating a sharp sting in her chest as a heart string popped.  
Rolling your eyes and open the drawer in the kitchen that normally is reserved for “junk” to pull out a little black box, slamming it on the counter. “I really wanted to…” allowing yourself to be vulnerable for a moment as she reaches out to open the jewelry box and sees the perfect ring. 
The pear shaped diamond in the middle was huge, with little diamonds laid into a rose gold band. This is how she described her dream wedding ring to you on your 3rd date. You wrote it down in the notes of your phone for the moment you would need it, thinking she was the one. 
Eyes matching the diamonds, sparking with light as they fill with tears. She never thought about how much you paid attention or how well you knew her. Too wrapped up in playing her role with both you and Jihyo to even think that you were set on her being the one you wanted to spend your life with.  
“I need you to tell me how it started. I need to know why.” speaking cold heartedly, keeping the distance between the two of you. 
“...It did start with a drunken night. That was true. I never tho-” She started as she lowered her eyes. 
“Look at me when you’re talking.” deliberately call her out, rattling her a little bit, her face turns red, eye wide as she goes to speak again.
“I never thought that it would go this far with her. I really was genuinely upset when Jihyo told me what happened the first time. I didn’t remember anything at all and then she convinced me not to say anything and then we hung out a few days later and…it happened again but sober this time and it just never stopped. There was no emotion behind it for me, I swear. I love you, not her.” 
A freight train crashes through you as you reel at the information hitting your ears. 
“You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to claim you love me when you’ve been living in a black light paradise with someone else this entire time.” hissing dispassionately to assert your words.
“But two things can be true at once, like you always say…” throwing back at you with a smirk knowing how much your own rhetoric being used on you makes you angry. 
Aggressively grabbing your backpack again and heading towards the door again, once intimidating, now a way to safety as you jerk it open, feening for escape from the heavy atmosphere. Your steps are quick and precise as you make your exit. 
 “I made a mistake, y/n. She’s not you. She will never be you.” Almost shouted at you as one foot stepped over the threshold. 
 “You were the mistake and I hope your guilt drowns you.” 
– 
An anchor pulls your heart to the bottom of the ocean. You told Nayeon to drown but it was you who couldn’t swim. Pulling harshly at your arteries as you sludge towards your car, feeling as if you’re moving in slow motion just trying to escape the shark infested waters.
Remembering this same feeling from before, but this one was much more certain. With the evidence in front of you, the admission from both parties, and the way Nayeon spoke to you- there was no more safety in who she portrayed herself to be. The illusion has smashed into shards of false love, leaving you to pick up the pieces. 
You drive to Momo’s house, not bothering to call before showing up, you don’t think you could speak anymore, your jaw is tense the entire way there to hold everything in. 
Walking up to the door and hitting the door bell, the dogs bark to alert their owners. The locks click open and the door cracks open to reveal a surprised Momo. 
“Y/n, what are you do-“ cutting her off as you collapse into her arms. You kept it together long enough to get to your best friend, but now the dam was broken and unable to contain the pure pain that was born from the cruelness Nayeon showed you.
Momo drags you into the house and sits you on the same couch you slept on days before, sitting next to you and trying to comfort you as you shake and sob, wrapping your arms around yourself trying to create a sense of safety for yourself that couldn’t be torn from you.
“Y/N, what happened?” Momo is so concerned with your inability to calm down, it’s starting to make her upset. 
Dahyun walks into the room, hearing the commotion. The loudness of your sobs ringing in her ears with her heart sinking into her stomach as she sits on the other side of you, joining Momo’s effort to comfort you. 
Shakily breathing as you try to regulate yourself yet again, this time it feels harder than the last because at least last time there was hope. You are only experiencing extreme sadness and betrayal, with a lot of anger mixed in it but there was no hope present.   
Unaware of how long you’ve been crying as Dahyun gets up “I’ll go make up the guest bedroom.” Rubbing your back as she walks past you. 
“Thank you,” you squeak out through your teeth, struggling to calm down. 
Momo has a look on her face that could cut diamonds. Anger radiating off her cheeks as she grabs her phone, taps it a few times and brings it to her ear quickly, she stands and taps her foot waiting for the other person to answer.  
Nayeon is heard on the other side, “is she with you?” 
Momo’s face is repulsed by this considering the state of you in front of her but she answers the question anyway,
 “Yes, what happened? She’s obviously not okay. Tell me what happened.” Momo’s arms are crossed, standing up she shifts her weight from one leg to the other. 
“I don’t know, she just got upset and left”
“Nayeon, I have known you for years.You’re lying. Y/N wouldn’t just show up sobbing uncontrollably for no reason, so tell me what happened or I'm hanging up.” talking with her hands, raising them in a frustrated manner as the lies keep coming.
“Well if she didn’t want to hurt herself she should have gone through my phone.” annoyance present in Nayeon’s tone.
Momo looks over at you, devastated for the second time on her couch pulling your phone out in silence and showing her the text thread screenshots you had taken earlier.
“It’s not as big of a deal as it’s being made out to be.”
“Are you serious right now?” Momo harshly questions as Nayeon continues. 
“Are you going to question Jihyo like you questioned me? Or are we just gonna pretend like she’s not part of this too?” 
The sharpness in her tone was something you had witnessed before but the taste of her name coming out of Nayeon’s mouth was unbearable.
Momo gasps at the new knowledge that has now been thrown at her. Completely statuesque, as she tries to wrap her mind around what Nayeon just said.
 Momo’s eyes look up on your screen to reveal the name at the top of the text thread: Jihyo  
The rush of emotions she was experiencing was overwhelming to her senses, momo’s voice choked with tears as she spoke to Nayeon.
“Wait…what did you just say? J is Jihyo?!” Momo says in complete disbelief, shocked at not only what she’s reading on the screen but by what she was hearing from one of the parties involved.
“Yes. So please call and interrogate her. Can I speak with my girlfriend now?”
“No, you can’t. I am not friends with people who do this type of thing, Nayeon. How could you do this to y/n?” she shouts through the phone, hunched over with a hand on her knee, trying to understand all the pieces of this complicated puzzle.    
Momo, trying to keep the anger she felt under wraps, started pacing in the room taking laps around the couch as she spoke. 
“Nayeon…are you kidding me? How long has this been going on?” Confused was an understatement, Momo was completely overstimulated with the information she was being given. 
 Never noticing the connection between how close Jihyo and Nayeon were, always sharing hotel rooms on tour, finishing each other’s sentences, the looks across the room, Nayeon staying at Jihyo’s house frequently…it was all starting to add up and Momo is seeing red over the pain of her best friend being hurt beyond belief, and by someone who was supposed to be her family. She was just as angry as you were. 
“Momo, I don’t want to do this right now, Can I please speak to Y/n? I’m trying to save my relationship and not be put under a microscope by you.” 
“I can’t believe you would do this. You spoke of Y/n like she moved mountains for you and this is what you’ve been doing behind her back? I’m disgusted with you and your actions…and I’m pretty sure she’s your ex-girlfriend now but you knew that already, didn’t you?” 
Momo hung up quickly, not caring about what Nayeon had to say back to her. More worried about you and your emotional state than anything Nayeon had to say.
 “Did she tell you why or was it her avoiding the question?” inquiring as she took a seat next to you, giving an apologetic look and a bear hug to try to make you feel better. 
“She told me enough for me to want to leave my home, technically she didn’t even tell me, I found a secret bag of Jihyo stuff in our closet with a bunch of pictures of them together, and one shot of them kissing, wax sealed love letters and jewelry.” Voice cracking and shaking as you bite back more emotion. 
Momo gasps as the story unfolds before her, she can’t believe what she’s hearing. It is so polar opposite of what she expected of her members. She always thought they were kind and loving. She imagines what y/n might be feeling in all of this. 
“I am so sorry. Please let me know how I can help you get through this.” reaching for you to pull you into a warm embrace. 
“Well, I’m definitely going to need to find a new apartment so if you want to help me with that I’d be grateful.” half chuckling through some tears, trying to add a little light into the situation. You hated the idea of someone else being upset because of this situation.
“Consider it done” Dahyun walked back in with swollen eyes, sniffling. She probably overheard the argument Momo just had and was reflecting the same amount of empathy as Momo was. 
“We can start tomorrow!”
About 3 weeks went by and you were slowly showing signs of your old self. You were going out with friends again, hanging out with Momo a lot, and starting to become present again, no longer constantly seeing the rewind of Nayeon’s innocence faltering behind your eyes. Still receiving texts from Nayeon at least 2 times a day. They served as a reminder of what once was. 
Momo and Dahyun were patient with you, letting you speak with them about the effects this trauma was having on your mental health. It’s always hard to watch your loved ones go through something this difficult but it was obvious that they were proud of how you were handling it, even if it was hard. They were always there to remind you that you could do hard things. 
Finding a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom that was close to Momo and Dahyun’s, signing the lease immediately. It was a slight upgrade to the studio that you and Nayeon occupied previously. The kitchen was bigger, the natural light was brighter, and the bathroom had a large bathtub that you could fully lay down in, which you were looking forward to. 
Spending a week finding the perfect furniture for it, designing the interior however you wanted and making it your own space without someone else’s opinion in the back of your mind was fun. You enjoyed doing this for yourself, fixating on something that had to do with you alone. You felt the ashes from previous ruin sprouting stems as you tried to move on.
You had really been focusing on yourself, trying to resurrect yourself after total devastation. Pulling out the roots, and planting good ones so later on you could reap the benefits. Changing the perspective of your brain was hard, but well worth it.
Being in a better place mentally and emotionally as your sense of stability was so close to being present again, you thought it was time that you continue with the last step of separating from Nayeon.
There was still some stuff you wanted to get back at your old apartment but you didn’t want to run the risk of Nayeon being there. You had no desire to face her, especially while you were still mending. You decided to reach out to her to let her know you’d be coming by to get the rest of your things. 
“Hey, I’m going to stop by today to get my stuff. I’d really like it if you weren’t there.“ You hesitate to hit send, not wanting to come off in a rude way. Quickly realizing how absurd that was and hit send. 
 “So now you reply? I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for weeks… are you doing okay?” almost immediately after the message was delivered, like she has been staring at the thread waiting for you to say something. 
“That’s not your concern anymore. What is your schedule like this week? I won’t be long. I’d just like my things, thank you.” you replied with haste, just wanting this to be over. 
“I’ve got something scheduled at 5 today. You can come then if you really don’t want to see me.” 
You can hear the pout over the text message without any hint of it present in the text. This instinctually sparks sadness in you. Biting the inside of your lip and type out a few replies before deciding to just drop it. A wave of the past just flashed in front of you, causing you to fall into loneliness, something you’d fought to keep at bay. 
Checking the clock and it’s already 3pm, you finish up what you’re doing in the living room and take a cold shower before setting out to the apartment one last time.
Stepping into the once familiar place, you are hit with the smell of vanilla and sandalwood. “That’s odd” thinking to yourself, wondering if she’s left a candle burning as you walk in, sliding your shoes off by the door. She always forgot to blow them out after lighting them or would fall asleep on the couch with one lit. 
You were right, but with an added twist, the candle was burning in the center of the coffee table flickering against the shadows in the room around you. The flame was blocked out by the shadow of someone on the couch in the dimly lit space. 
“I thought you had schedules.” sighing, irritate at being met with another moment of dishonesty.
“I just needed to talk to you…” she whispers, she had been crying. Hearing it in her voice and seeing it on her face as she turned her back to the candle, taking in your features like it was the first time she’d ever seen you. A  tinge of hope runs through her, your face must be showing sympathy.               
“I needed you to be faithful and that was too much for you so I don’t really want to do any conversing with you.” asserting that you’re completely vexed by her as you walk into the bedroom to gather the rest of the stuff you were taking with you. 
Following you closely, a habit you used to think was cute as she watches you pick up small knick knacks from your childhood, clothes, and some other important tokens left behind. Sorting through every drawer to make sure you got everything, wanting this to be the last time you’re in the once shared life.    
Almosting touching you with how close her proximity was, she wondered if you’d give her some of your time so she could plead for you to stay when you finally spoke up. 
“Can you stop hovering so I can do what I need to and leave?” 
“Can you just talk to me for a second?” Nayeon replied equally annoyed and choked up as she watched you tuck all she had left of you away. 
Turning around to face her, “Fine! What do you want?” 
You’ve never shown her such apathy, the emptiness that rings in your voice hollows her chest out as she takes a few steps forward, you are surprised by the sudden closeness when she leans in and kisses you roughly. 
You gasp which leaves an opening for her to slide her tongue into your mouth, the neediness pouring out of her drenches you with adrenaline and you slowly succumb to her as she bites your lower lip and tugs gently. The world stops.
Every ounce of love you ever felt for this person came slithering back into your mind for a split second, followed by anger as you remind yourself of the betrayal. 
You can’t believe she’s just throwing herself at you. Body reacting exactly how you would expect when your recent ex partner kisses you like this, the familiarity of her hands on your body sends jolts of comfort and excitement through you and you aren't strong enough to fight the primal urge. 
Trailing her hand up your back under your sweater while keeping you distracted with her mouth and sinking her nails into your shoulders, dragging them slowly down your back, causing you to lean into the kiss even more, moaning into her mouth as she smiles. 
Falling into the trap she was setting and you knew it. 
Hands slowly find their place on her waist, she kisses your jaw whispering sweet nothings into your skin. 
“Baby, please stay” she lays another kiss farther down your jaw
“I know you missed this” laying another kiss
“You are always so hungry for me…show me”
She ghosts her lips up and returns to yours as she kisses you passionately, revealing pure lust as she grips onto you. Bringing your hands up to cup her face, allowing yourself to get lost in the breathy haze, heart pounding as you feel your body temperature rise, effects of the love that once was and the lust that now is. 
Spiraling in the dizzying moment,you and Nayeon sink into each other, closeness returning as you’re swept away by the intense feelings you’re both harboring. Hands are exploring as you fumble around, not allowing space between you as you both collapse onto the bed, hungirly taking each other in as you gain control, Nayeon is lost in the essence of you and it was your turn to hold the power.  
In addition to getting on top of her, you place your knee between her legs- just enough out of reach so that she couldn’t get a good position on it. You were going to give her this moment to remember and you were going to make her earn it.
The heat emanates off her as you rip off your sweater tossing it aside. She’s looking up at you like you put the moon in the sky as you reach your arm around and unhook your bra, letting the straps slide down your arms slowly, her eyes wide with anticipation as you remove it, throwing it on top of the sweater. 
Nayeon’s hands reach up, eyes darkened as she tries to touch you when you slam her hands back down into the softness of the sheets, pinning her to the mattress forcefully above her head, glaring into her with white hot anger.  
“No,” as you hold her in place, your body pressed against hers, faces close enough to feel each other's quickened breath. Nayeon sees the flash of spite in your eyes as you press your mouth on hers, it makes her ache while she is refracting desperation, subtly grinding on your thigh as she lets your tongue dance with hers.
Pulling back from the kiss to admire the sight before you; Nayeon is anchored to the bed by your hands, whimpering and grinding on your leg practically begging for you to fuck her. 
Faces return close enough for your lips to lightly graze, teasing her as you remind her where you stand, “Tell me… does Jihyo excite you like this or is this only for me?” with a sultry nuance. She squirms underneath you as you taunt her, her eyes flickering down to your thigh as she tries to grind into you to get some friction to satiate the ache you’re creating within her, only for you to pull your knee back just enough so she can’t reach it. 
 She whines “y/n…please, it’s only yo-” getting up before getting the full answer and dragging her legs to the edge of the bed letting them bend over the edge, pulling her shirt off frantically, exposing her tits. 
 The knot in her stomach tightens as she watches you become completely carnal, continuing toying with her. Lightly tracing her chest with your finger before you kissed her again, this time more aggressively as if you are claiming what had been yours. She groaned into it, always loving when you got like this, you’re ghosting your finger along the waistband of her sweats as you pull back from the kiss again and attacking her neck leaving a trail of dark marks down to her chest. 
“She’ll have to admire my artwork for the next week and I hope she enjoys it” leaving bite marks and bruises as you descend down slowly.
You take one of her nipples into your mouth and swirl your tongue around it, you can hear her breathing hitch as you roughly pinch the other one. Without letting go of her bud between your fingers you detach your mouth and slide your other hand up to Nayeon’s throat, lightly squeeze and ask “Does Jihyo fuck you like the slut you are? Or does she leave you for me to ruin?” 
Nayeon let out a wail as the words cascaded off your tongue, completely bewildered at what is happening right now as she feels the intoxication of your agitated demeanor wash over her while she grows impatient. Pushing back and trying to take the power from you when you mimic your prior movements and slam her down on the bed, letting her know that wasn’t going to happen.
“Don't. Move.” Stoically said while standing up, sliding her pants and underwear off to reveal a string of arousal clinging to the fabric and the soaked mess that she was. She was already clenching around nothing. 
“Pathetic.” You smirk. 
“Does she ever make you this wet?” as you part her lips with one hand, gathering her arousal at her entrance with your finger, and slowly bring it up to your mouth, sucking it clean. She rolls her hips up at the sensation, body screaming for more. 
“I told you not to move.”
Nayeon whines loudly, “Please, Y/n…touch me” begging for some continuous form of contact and being sure not to move while your stand above her watching as tears well up in her eyes. 
“...so needy… does she make you beg for it like this?” the words daunting as they snake out. 
“You’re so good at lying, I’m sure she thinks you belong to her.” 
“What was it that you said earlier?” following up slyly while lowering yourself between her legs, knees on the floor and arms are wrapped around her thighs, with hands planted on her hips keeping them in place. 
“You’re always so hungry for me…” breathing out as you traces patterns on her lower stomach and bring your face closer to her pussy, 
“…show me” she sighs out as you dive down into her folds, moaning intensely as you tangle yourself between her legs. She feels you devouring her sloppily, not leaving a single place unexplored as she tries to buck her hips into your mouth.
Nayeon is seeing stars as past experiences flood back into memory, senses heightened as you consume her more possessively than usual. She loves this version of you. 
Hands holding onto her so tightly as you start sucking on her clit, she squirms under your grip, squealing at the erratic pattern traced with the tip of your tongue before giving her the rhythm she craved so desperately. 
Nayeon’s breathing gets heavier as you stick to the pace you know she likes, building her up to where you wanted her. The moaning gets louder as you continue lapping at her, hands go up to your hair, locking you in place as you bring her as close to the edge as possible. 
Hearing her high pitched whines and feeling her pussy clench around nothing, completely stopping everything that you are doing.  
“Wha?!-..” she let out a groan that could’ve shattered windows as you stood before her, watching her react to the orgasm being ruined. 
“Why would you do that?!” she groaned out, squeezing her legs together again. You lightly smack her thigh, telling her without words not to. The slap radiates through the room and leaves a small red hand print displayed. 
Enjoying the blissful anguish on her face as you licked the evidence right off your mouth while removing your pants and underwear. Getting on the bed, straddling her, wetness visible as it drips off of you, she looked up at you with wanting eyes, hips still rutting, and knowing exactly where this was going.
“Did you really think I’d give you what you wanted so easily?” you start scooting up so that your knees are on either side of her head, a mere inch from her face.
“You’ll have to earn it.” Leaning forward and head between your legs, tongue out already anticipating the taste of you. 
A gasp echoes in your chest as she licks the inside of your thighs, making sure not to waste a drop of you before taking one big slow lick up your slit, doing that several times, causing you to thrust into her more before attaching her lips to your clit and finding the rhythm she knew you wanted. 
Drowning in her all over again as you feel the knot in your stomach stir, you need more from her but she wasn’t going to give you that right away.
“Naye- ..fuck, just like that -on” you whine her name, slowly start to fuck her face. 
“More.”  Demanding breathlessly, feeling your release building throughout your body, muscles tightening as she shakes her head no, trying not to remove her mouth from you.
“Nay-“  a guttural moan stops you mid sentence, knowing what she wanted from you. 
“Baby…please, I need you” pleasure all consuming, you’re aching for her inside of you.
Before you can ask again, a long finger slides into your core and starts pumping forward to hit your g-spot a few times before adding another finger. 
Another loud moan, as you steadily rock your hips against her mouth, building on the list you were already feeling. Close to breaking, you feel one of her hands slide up to your chest and start tugging on your nipple, that’s what sends you over the edge. 
Throwing your head back as your breath quickens, grinding against her face, with a death grip on her hair. Shaking on top of her as your orgasm rips through you, she keeps going, letting you ride it out. 
“Good girl,” you say breathly as you scoot back to straddle her hips again, body feeling like static as you come down. 
Catching your breath while looking at her cum covered face, you know you aren’t finished with her just yet. Leaning up to you, wrapping her arms around you and kissing you. Tasting yourself on her as you pull her arms off of you.
“I missed the way you taste.” she cooed as you stood up again, half wobbling as you were still recovering. 
“Didn’t I say not to move?” sternly rolls off your tongue, her eyes widen as you push her back down roughly and spit directly onto her pussy. Not that you needed the extra lube, you spread it around her entrance before slamming 2 fingers into her.
“Fuck, Y/n…” she moans as you pump your fingers quickly into her, feeling how wet she is from the orgasm you stole. She thrusts harshly, forcing your digits deeper into her.
“You don’t cum until I say you can.” growled at her from between her legs - peering up to see her face, eyes clamped shut as she leaked out onto the sheets - impatiently waiting for you to stimulate her in some way. 
You can’t help but torture her a little. 
“Does Jihyo make you wet like this? Or is she a shit replacement fuck when I’m not around”
She doesn’t even hear what you’re saying while she’s writhing underneath you, completely fucked out and trying to focus on not cumming while you’re toying with her. Your mouth finds its way to her clit causing a frantic moan to rip through her chest, hands pulling at the sheets as she holds everything back.
“Ca- can I cum please?” She screeches between moans, nodding your head back to her while keeping the same circular motions going with your tongue on her clit, picking up the pace of the fingers inside her as she screams out - back arching, body tense, and clenching down on your fingers as she cums, gushing all over your hand. 
Trying to take a breath, she squeals because you never stop fucking her at a relentless pace; she’s immediately back to moaning your name. 
“Baby, What are yo-” words cut off as she loudly moans, giving her a second to try and finish the sentence. 
“Use your words” as you pick up the pace even more, holding her down onto the mattress with your left hand on her hip, pounding your fingers into her. 
Unable to speak coherently, almost screaming as she tries to formulate sentences. 
“You wanted to cum so bad, so give me another one.” Answering the question she couldn’t ask while snapping into her g-spot, bending down to put your lips on hers again, giving her a taste of herself as she moans into your mouth, unable to hold back from the feeling of being over-stimulated. 
She feels the tension inside her forming again, threatening to burst at any moment when you lean over to ghost your lips over her ear. 
“I bet Jihyo doesn’t make you cum like this.” Violent combustion dispels from her body as she tenses underneath you, screaming into your mouth and sinking her claws into your back while riding out her orgasm.
Both of you lay on the bed, attempting to catch your breath. She rolls over to you, and tries to curl up in your arms but you get up before she can get too comfortable.
“Baby, where are you going? Sleepily stated while staying on the bed.  
Silence as you put your underwear back on.
“Hello?” 
Silence as you slide your pants on 
“…are you leaving?” She says in a sad tone, leaning up on her elbows, watching you put your shirt on and gather all the stuff you came to get. 
“Yup.” 
She is in complete disbelief as you walk out of the bedroom door, hearing you put your shoes on in the kitchen and then hearing the door open. 
“What the fuck are you doing here?…what is that on your neck?” heard from the kitchen. Nayeon’s eyes widen as she realizes the time and the plans she made…with Jihyo. 
“I don’t really think she will be much use to you tonight but you’re more than welcome to try.” You say condescendingly to Jihyo as she stares at you about to walk out. 
“Oh, by the way” , turning your head to her as you open the door.
“I hope you like the way I taste. Enjoy.” smiling at her as you walk right out of the apartment. She stares at the front door in disbelief as she’s figuring out her next move, now in a similar position to where you were.
“Nayeon!” screamed loud enough for you to hear while you’re walking toward the elevator. Not even being able to help the smirk across your face knowing she’s about to get an earful. Laughing to yourself as you call the elevator.
-
Starting the ride home, you think about exactly what just happened. Unable to believe you allowed yourself to fuck Nayeon and act like that towards Jihyo. Thinking about it not with regret, but with a blend of malice and sadness. They were both important to you, previously but that’s reality anymore.
Looking into the rearview mirror at the complex behind you, almost a far-well glance for you as your phone vibrates in your pocket. 
Pulling it out to see Jihyo’s name across the top and hit the end button, sending her straight to voicemail. She calls again, same response. The third time your phone vibrates, you answer it 
“Can you stop calling me? I obviously don't want to talk to you.” sounding heavily annoyed. 
“…Y/n?” A familiar softness rings on the other line as you look at the phone number that isn’t saved.
“Oh…uhm, sorry…I thought this was Jihyo. I don’t have this number saved in my phone…”
“That’s alright” a small chuckle follows, “It’s Mina.”
"Mina?"
---
Thank you for reading! :) Part 5 at some point!
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sequinsmile-x · 3 days
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Stained Glass Windows - Chapter Sixty Five
Life was complicated, but they wouldn't have it any other way.
-x-
Hi besties <3
As always, the love for this version of them means the entire world. Look, you're going to yell at me a little for this chapter and I deserve it...so please let me know what you think!
-x-
Words: 3.1k
A full list of warnings for the fic can be found on the Series Master List.
Read over on Ao3, or below the cut
Emily sighs as she rolls onto her back, her hand resting over her eyes as she tries to will herself to fall asleep. She turns her head and looks at the baby monitor and she reaches out to activate the video, smiling sadly when she sees Lily fast asleep. She strokes her finger over the slightly grainy image, no small amount of guilt simmering in her gut as she idly wishes Lily would wake up so she could go and get her from the nursery and snuggle with her. The room had never felt so empty now Lily was sleeping in her room and Aaron was thousands of miles away, the air painfully quiet without her husband’s breathing and the surprisingly loud way a baby slept. 
She felt lonely, something she hadn’t felt since her first kiss with Aaron, his love a constant companion of hers even in the moments they were apart, a warm blanket resting over her shoulders at all times. It feels distant now, as if he’d taken it with him to the other side of the world, packed it up alongside the linen clothes she’d bought him and half her heart, an ache in her chest that seemed ever-present since she’d last seen him over three weeks ago. 
They’d spoken on the phone once in that time, the satellite phone he had both unreliable and crude. They’d exchanged a few emails and she’s sure if the circumstances were different she’d find it romantic, as if they were lovers from another time, kept apart by circumstance but held together by the written word. It doesn’t stop the loneliness that would set in at night. She was used to sleeping without him sometimes because of the nature of his job, but this was different. The further away she got from having seen him the worse she was sleeping. The sheets didn’t smell like him anymore, they just smelt like her.
It makes her feel awful because she isn’t alone. Lily is with her every second she’s not at work, and Jack is with them for half a week at a time, but it’s not the same. She loves her children with every part of her, but she misses the company of her husband, his reassuring smile when Lily didn’t sleep through the night, or how he’d effortlessly make them all breakfast in the morning, the constant lingering scent of burnt toast in the kitchen now she was in charge nowhere to be found.  She misses him, her partner in everything. The way he would know something was wrong just by looking at her, the barriers she’d put in place as a kid non-existent to him, or how a hug from him seemed to fix whatever was wrong, his embrace the safest place she’d ever known. 
She’s about to turn over, to wrap her arms around his pillow and hope that somehow it’s enough to get her to sleep, and then the door is pushed open, Jack’s small frame peeking around it, his hair visibly a mess from the small amount of light filtering in from the hallway. 
“Emily?”
Her heart cracks at the shake in his voice, the obvious tears that she can hear, and she sits up, switching on the light on the nightstand as she does so. She sighs sadly when she sees him, sticky tear tracks painted down his face, his pjyamas rumbled from where he’d been sleeping. 
“Oh, sweet boy,” she says, “What’s wrong?” 
He sniffs and wipes his face, still standing in the doorway, “Bad dream.” 
“Want to tell me what happened?” She asks and he shakes his head fiercely, she smiles sympathetically and pulls the covers back, patting the mattress on Aaron’s side of the bed to encourage him over, “Want to come sit with me for a little while?” 
His response is to jump onto the bed, moving at a speed she’s sure should be impossible for someone of his size, and he’s by her side in seconds, curled up against her with his head on her chest, his hand tangled in the neckline of her t-shirt, “Did you have a bad dream too?”
She runs her hand up and down his back, shifting them so they are laying back down, under no allusion that the little boy was going back to his own bed that night, “No, sweetie, I didn’t.” 
He frowns as he tilts his head to look up at her, “Then why are you awake?” 
She pushes his hair from his forehead and the concerned look on his face, his eyebrows pinched together just like Aaron’s, makes her ache. Aaron always said that Jack looked like Haley, and whilst Emily saw that too all she could see lately was him in the little boy. His facial expressions. His unwavering kindness. His smile. It was almost as if she was seeking out little bits of her husband where she could, keeping them nearby so she could relish in them, both Jack and Lily looking more like him every day.
“I just couldn’t sleep,” she says, kissing his forehead, “But that’s okay.” 
He hums, “You were awake to give me a magic hug.”
She smiles and nods, resting her cheek on the top of his head, “I’ll always be here to do that Jack,” she says, smiling softly as he idly plays with her necklace, his tiny fingers tracing the pendant, a small disk with a lily engraved on it that Aaron had bought her. She thinks he’s fallen asleep, the room quiet again apart from his breathing, until he says her name.
“Emmy?” 
Her smile gets slightly wider at the use of the nickname, something he uses less and less these days, his voice already thick with sleep, “Yes Jack?”
“I miss Daddy.” 
She feels herself get tense, her eyes drifting closed as she blows out a breath, holding him impossibly closer, his small body getting heavier as he falls asleep. 
“Me too, baby,” she says, kissing the top of his head again, “Me too.” 
___
She curses herself for not putting her phone on silent as soon as it starts to ring. She winces to herself and quickly closes the nursery door, not wanting to undo any of the hard work she’d done trying to get her daughter to sleep. She pulls her phone out of her pocket and walks down the stairs as she answers, smiling softly to herself as she sees Penelope’s name on the screen. 
“Pen, hey is everything okay?” 
“I know what you need.” 
She has to stop herself from saying ‘my husband back’ out loud, well aware it would ruin her friend's good mood and she chuckles dryly as she walks towards the living room, “What do I need?” 
“A night out.” 
She chuckles again as she sits down on the couch, shaking her head even though her friend can’t see her, “You’d better not mean tonight.” 
Penelope sighs and Emily can almost picture the look on her face, “JJ and I got talking about it as we were leaving the office, and it’s been a long time-”
“Look, Pen I appreciate the offer,” she says, cutting her friend off before she can carry on, irritation she knows Penelope doesn’t entirely deserve sparking in her gut, “But I have Lily. Remember her? The tiny version of me? You’ve bought her enough tutus I think I could open a ballet school.” 
Emily is sure she can hear JJ in the background. She was always the sensible one, the person who sat between Penelope’s exuberance and Emily’s occasional resistance to it, the middle ground that made their friendship work. She’d rejoined the team when Aaron went to Pakistan, Derek’s temporary promotion to Unit Chief leaving a gap in the team, and despite everything Emily was pleased that she was around more often again. There’s a muffled conversation she doesn’t hear, and she finds herself staring at her wedding picture, the photo Haley had taken for them that day almost a year ago, and she sighs, closing her eyes as her gaze drops to her lap. 
“Can’t someone watch her for a few hours?” 
She scoffs and shakes her head, the spark of irritation catching fire, her friend's well-intentioned meddling the gasoline she’d barely needed.
“Who, Pen? My husband, who is on the other side of the world? My father I don’t talk to? My mother who…” she drifts off and shakes her head, her lips pressed together as she just catches herself before she reveals more than she means to, her mother’s alcoholism something she’d never shared with anyone other than Aaron, “Just…you two have fun, okay? Maybe next time.” 
She hangs up before Penelope can say anything else, or before she herself could say something that would upset her friend. She groans and places her phone down on the couch, her hands over her eyes as she blows out a shaky breath. 
“Damn it,” she grumbles to herself, reaching for the remote to turn on the tv, the silence in the house almost suffocating, and eventually settling on a reality tv show she’d fallen in love with when she was nursing Lily. She walks around the house, doing small chores she’d put off for days, packing away Jack and Lily’s toys as she goes. 
She isn’t sure how much time has passed when she hears a gentle knock on the front door. She walks towards it, very much not in the mood for whoever is there, but grateful that they hadn’t rung the bell and risked waking up Lily. She blows out a steady breath when she looks through the peephole to find Penelope and JJ on her porch. She stands there for a moment, her head resting against the wood as she debates not answering the door at all. 
“We come in peace,” Penelope says, and Emily can’t help but laugh. She shakes her head and opens the door, her eyebrow raised as she looks at her friends. JJ is holding a take-out bag from their favourite Mexican restaurant, and Penelope has three plastic cups full of a frozen drink in a carrier in her hands, her smile mischievous as she lifts them slightly, “Did you know you can get margaritas to go if you hassle the wait staff enough?” 
She sighs and stands back a little, still not moving enough to let them in, “Pen-”
“Look, I realise I went about this the wrong way,” she says, “I thought about it and-” she's cut off JJ clears her throat, her eyebrows raised as she throws Penelope an amused smile when they both look at her. Penelope rolls her eyes and looks back at Emily, “Fine, JJ told me off for getting too excited and not thinking everything through - and we brought girl's night to you.” 
She presses her lips together and swallows thicky, uncertainty still swirling through her. She twists her wedding rings around her finger and she shrugs half-heartedly, “I don’t know if I’m that much fun to be around at the moment.” 
Penelope frowns like that’s the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard, “Peaches, you’re our friend. We want to be around you all the time.” 
“And,” JJ says from behind Penelope, winking at Emily, “We brought churros.” 
She can’t help but smile and she shakes her head, sighing playfully as she steps back, finally giving them enough room to let them past her, “Fine,” she says, smiling wryly, “But next time lead with the churros.” 
They set up in the dining room, eating their dinner from the containers so she wouldn’t have to worry about dishes afterwards, and for a moment it feels normal. Emily can ignore that she hasn’t seen her husband in weeks, that she feels his absence like a physical ache. Instead, she laughs with her friends, all of her focus on the stories about the team that they fill her in on, both JJ and Penelope always happy to act as if nothing has changed. As if it was two years ago and they were asking her all sorts of questions about her relationship with Aaron that she refused to answer until she was several tequilas deep. 
She’s grateful for them, for the family she’d found in the most unlikely of places. The family she’d found right when she needed them the most. 
She’s about to suggest that they move to the living room when she hears Lily cry from upstairs and she smiles apologetically at them, “I’m going to go check on her,” she says, standing up, “I’ll meet you guys in the living room?” 
They both nod in response and she heads upstairs, taking the steps two at a time. When she makes it into Lily’s nursery the 10-month-old is standing up in her crib, supporting herself with her hands on the bars, and she’s crying loudly, her face bright red with it.
“Oh sweetheart,” Emily says, reaching into the crib and lifting her up, pressing a kiss to her dark hair as she settles her on her hip, “What’s wrong huh? I know you’re not hungry,” she says, pacing back and forth a little, sniffing the air slightly as well as patting the baby’s bottom to check it was dry, “And you don’t need a diaper change,” she tilts her head to look at her, smiling when Lily almost chases her embrace, her face pressed into her mother’s neck as she grips onto her tightly, “Oh, I see. You just wanted Mommy?” She kisses her cheek and smiles, her heart warming when Lily starts to calm down, her smile already breaking past her sadness now she has Emily’s attention, “Mommy’s friends are here, shall we go say hi?” 
She talks quietly to Lily as she heads back downstairs, humming along to the babbling that her little girl does almost all the time now, so close to actually speaking that Emily simply did her best to encourage it. She both wanted to hear her daughter’s voice and for Lily to wait until Aaron came home, the thought of him missing out on it almost too much for Emily to bear. She smiles as she joins her friends in the living room, bouncing Lily on her hip as she tries to get her to smile.
“We have another one for girl's night,” she says, her smile getting wider as her friends both gush over the baby, always acting like it had been forever since they’d seen her, like Emily didn’t almost constantly share photos of her with the team. 
“Hi Lily,” Penelope says, reaching out for her hand, smiling when Lily grabs two of her fingers, her grip tight, “You’re the youngest member of our little gang,” she says, raising her eyebrow at her friends as she sits back, taking a sip of her drink, “For now.”
Emily rolls her eyes and sits down, making sure Lily is secure on her lap, well aware that she’d likely fall asleep again soon, “My husband is currently on another continent, Pen,” she says, sounding more playful than she feels, “You’ll have to at least wait until he gets back before you start planning for me to have baby Hotchner number 3.” 
Undeterred, Penelope’s smile only gets wider, “But you are planning on having more?” She asks, her excitement clear, “Because JJ never gives me a straight answer on if she and Will are having another one and I need another BAU baby to spoil.” 
Emily catches JJ’s eye briefly, and she sees a flash of something. It’s a moment that passes by quickly and she decided to file it away for later, a conversation she wasn’t sure how to start right now. 
“Definitely,” she says, running her fingers through Lily’s hair, smiling when her little girl looks up at her, “Have you seen how cute she is? It would be a waste if we didn’t,” she smiles at Lily, “Would you like that, baby? If Mommy and Daddy made you a big sister one day?” She tickles the baby, drawing her sweet laugh out of her, ignoring how she can feel Penelope and JJ staring at her, fascinated by this side of her that they rarely got to see, “I know Dada would.” 
“Dada!” 
They all fall silent, and Emily briefly thinks she’s imagined it. Her smile slips off her face and she looks up at her friends, and thats all it takes for her to know they’ve heard it too. “Did she…” 
JJ moves closer, one of her hands on Emily’s shoulder, squeezing comfortingly as she leans over her and picks up the wedding picture from the side table. She puts it in Lily’s line of sight as she removes her hand from Emily’s shoulder to point at Aaron in the picture. 
“Who’s that Lily?” JJ asks, her voice soft and encouraging, “Is that Dada?”
“Dada!” Lily says again, grasping at the picture before JJ can move it out of reach, not wanting Lily to accidentally drop it and then hurt herself. 
“Good job, Lil’ Peaches!” Penelope says, her enthusiasm clear, her tone matching JJ’s.
Emily barely reacts, her eyes fixed on her daughter as the baby smiles widely at the encouragement, clapping her hands together as she mirrors JJ. She feels like she’s underwater, her eyes watering as she tries to live in the moment, to enjoy one of her daughter’s firsts, but it’s muted. The colour of it dulled by Aaron’s absence, and she takes a moment to grieve the way she’d imagined this. Both of them huddled together with their little girl, one full of glee that she’d said their name first and the other pretending they were upset when they were nothing less than proud of their baby girl.
She blows out a shaky breath and smiles, pulling herself out of it, forcing herself back into the present as she lifts Lily from her lap, peppering her face with kisses before she hugs her close, breathing in the scent of her. 
“Good job, baby,” she says, clearing her throat to ignore the shake to her voice, smiling gratefully at JJ when she places her hand on her knee without saying anything, the slight squeeze she gives to the joint saying everything it needed to, “Mommy is so proud of you,” she kisses the side of Lily’s head again, “Daddy is too.” 
She wondered how she’d tell him this, how she’d break the news that he’d missed something he’d so desperately wanted, and not for the first time since he’d left she regrets ever encouraging him to go. 
-x-
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henrysglock · 16 hours
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[Kazoo Kid voice] Wait A Minute...Who Are You?
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ANOTHER installment of the Cracks and Mirrors series...this time tied (haha) to Brenner's ties. Yeah. Ties. Plural. This is going to be a long one. Where to begin.
#1: The Ties
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If you can make sense of that, more power to you. Here's what you really need to know:
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Meaning these 5 guys are different from each other:
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Wonderful! I hate it here.
Interestingly enough, this guy is the only guy we see the doors to El's stairwell with:
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Now, it finally makes sense why none of these blood patterns match:
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BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT THE SAME GUY/SCENARIO.
All of this, of course, ties back to what I said in September about Ten's changing test room regarding shot choices, prop movements, and color grading fuckery: It's not the same room continuously.
These two, however, seem to be set in variations on the same universe:
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And they both end in an infuriating camera cut to (in Brenner's case) a completely different guy. (smash cut to my post about how if El's experience is lifted from Brenner's memories, then Brenner should have seen One killing Two, like El did)
Anyway, what we can glean from this is that Running Brenner's universe is one of the top row, but not any of the bottom row:
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(i.e. It's at least a variation on a) the taped version of El's first NINA experience and b) Henry's electrocution. It is not, however, any of the other versions of El's NINA entrance, as far as we've been shown...which is consistent with the multiple versions of NINA we seem to be seeing overall.)
Okay. Good? Good. Moving on.
#2: Tying the Ties (to the Rainbow Room)
As I just mentioned, the Brenner in the hallway isn't the Brenner who runs into the Rainbow Room. And as far as I can tell, Rainbow Room Brenner doesn't appear in the hallway shots:
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Rainbow Room Brenner, as far as I can tell, seems to be this Brenner:
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And so, of course, the part you all knew was coming...
#3: Tying the Ties (to the Cracks)
Yeah. We're fucked. We got a bunch of different guys.
If you're just tuning in, I suggest you take a peek at the original Cracks and Mirrors post (the other installments of which can be found in my pinned post)...but for time being I've lifted the most relevant portion:
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Now. These cracks have associated Brenners:
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No Gate and Gate, respectively.
Not only are these two Brenners not the same guy, they're also not any of the guys we saw running around or the guy who burst into the Rainbow Room:
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Adding lines would make this more confusing, so just go ahead and squint at them all. You'll see what I'm on about pretty quickly, since I've circled the important bits.
But...Surprise! We now have seven Brenners! (My apologies for the fucking crunchy as hell "looks like the visual representation of an earrape video" cracks Brenners, it's just that the lighting is shit and I can see fuck all if I leave them as-is)
So. A Tale Of Seven Brenners...or so you THOUGHT. (Because fuck me, that's why.)
#4: More Fucking Ties!!
Of course, none of these Brenners are this weird fucker with blood all over his face:
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Many such cases, because none of them account for this Brenner from earlier in 4.01 who's shown with a) an incorrect tie and b) incorrect hair (shown here with "correct" Brenner) either:
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...Which I talked about here.
YUP. WE HAVE AT LEAST NINE BRENNERS.
Now...I still have questions about this last Brenner ^ being shown as a reflection in his mirror at home, as opposed to Brenner in the massacre who does not reflect in the Rainbow Room mirror (both in 4.01 AND 4.08, respectively):
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But for now...that's beside the point.
Closing Tangential Note:
Isn't it funny how everything electronic is going super haywire...except the camera and the card reader...and the lights in the hallway that doesn't exist on any of the HNL specs we have..........funny how that works:
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You could argue that the camera and card reader are on a generator/backup circuit...I just didn't think powers-usage picked and chose which circuits it affected like that.
And before anyone goes "Oh but James, there is a light flickering in the hallw—" YEAH. THE ONE SINGULAR LIGHT HENRY JUST SMASHED WITH THE BODY OF A GROWN MAN. LOOK BEHIND EL WHEN THE DOUBLE DOORS OPEN. FLASHING LIGHTS? I DON'T THINK SO.
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AS OPPOSED TO WHEN POWERS ARE BEING USED NEARBY, WHEREIN ALL THE LIGHTS FLASH:
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OKAY. OKAY. SO IT'S WEIRD THAT THE LIGHTS IN THE HALL BEHIND THE DOOR WOULDN'T BE FLASHING. THEY SHOULD BE FLASHING. BUT THEY'RE NOT.
It's almost like, by passing through those doors, El has entered the "plot", so to speak. Like when you hit a save checkpoint, or leave a "safe" space in a video game (staring at you, Resident Evil: Biohazard). She wanders through the safe but horrific "context" sequence, then she enters the unskippable "villain lore drop" cutscene, and then she's in the Boss Fight sequence. Babygirl, you are just a cog in the machine!!
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thaliagrayce · 11 months
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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!
How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!
I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.
Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.
#hazel levesque#hoo#mj talks#like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there#the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus#of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo#which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died#even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level#and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real#heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing#she deserves it <3#nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it#and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered#hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches#and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings
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hirazuki · 1 year
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I caught up again with Hunter x Hunter I keep forgetting it’s no longer on hiatus and keep falling behind lmao and
let the kidnappings and murders be associated with the Kurta clan please Togashi I am begging T_T
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namodawrites · 1 year
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hi namoda! i know you mentioned you weren't happy with your earlier work but i just wanted to say your "firsts" series were the first demon slayer fics i ever read. they have a special place in my heart and i really appreciate that, despite growing into your current writing style and moving forward, you didn't completely remove them from the internet.
also, i just saw the author's note that you're taking down "sunshine comes in waves" which i am a little sad about too but i am also grateful you're giving it it's own home. one of my favorites from the collection is the "video" two parter and i can't even tell you how many times i've re-read them!
i love your work so much and i am excited for what you do in the future!
(also, i sent you an ask not too long ago saying you inspired me to start writing again!! i am happy to say i did write a little somethin somethin and i am actually really excited to write more when i have the time!!!)
blowing u lots of kisses and sending lots of hearts <33333333 take care and don't be hard on yourself!! drink lots of water and posture check!! LOL <3 🌷✨
ANON <33 I REMEMBER U HELLO AGAIN MWAH!!! <333333 thank u so much for ur messages, i hope your writing is going well!! i hope october has treated you well and that november treats u well too!! 💖💕
there's a lot i could say about SCIW 😩 i'm grateful for its existence since it's the collection i worked on when i was deep in my kny phase lol!! but ur right! as my writing has evolved i find myself less satisfied with it 😔 but aside from the grammatical errors (which i am finding oodles of while editing ((oof))) it is simply not a work i want prominently on my ao3, which is why i'm going to remove it from there and put it next to my other archived older works :) i'd debated deleting it when it reached 100 chapters (which it never did in the end so... rip </3) but there were a lot of ppl who wanted it to stay up, so i left it alone while debating what to do with it!
thank you so much for reading that series, taking it down is not to say that it'll be the last time we see those fics! there are some chapters/ideas that i really did enjoy writing, so whether it means i go back and pull and rewrite or include some themes/ideas in other works, it will not be completely forgotten! also formatting is so much fun sdlkfjds there's something exciting about the mundane kind of tedious work that's involved in moving over such a large collection of fics!
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sokkas-therapist · 2 months
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Can I speak on another hot take (maybe) that I’ve been sitting on
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I haven’t seen anyone else on tumblr bring this up yet but it was the first thing I noticed with the shots we get from Kyoshi Island…
Why is Sokka not in the dress??? Or the makeup????? He’s still in his regular clothes, and this is a pretty clear shot of them during his training. In the og series, Suki made him change before she started teaching him anything because it was important to her that if he was to learn the combat skills used by the Kyoshi warriors, he also had to respect their traditions and uniform. It wasn’t just a silly “haha they made the misogynistic guy wear a dress” moment, it was a sign of respect for the Kyoshi warriors, their sacred traditions, and Avatar Kyoshi herself. So why is he not doing that???
Aside from Suki rightfully kicking sokka’s ass in this episode and beating the misogyny out of him, a large message in this episode was the fact that Sokka was deconstructing his misguided enforcement of gender roles by going directly against them and wearing and dress and makeup, even if it was part of a warrior uniform.
At first I thought “ok, maybe they’re just doing things in a different order” but no. In the trailer we see a shot of Suki and Sokka fighting side by side like they did at the end of the original episode, and even then Sokka is still in his regular clothes. It just looks like he’s wearing the top layer of Kyoshi warrior armor over his regular clothes since they’re in a battle.
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I really hate this because not only is it disrespecting their traditions, but it also makes Suki’s character seem like a push over for allowing him to stay in his regular clothes while simultaneously utilizing their armor. Her original character was a total badass, and had such a powerful spirit that Sokka willingly bowed down to, so she would have never let him get away with that.
Another reason to be skeptical of the live action </3
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criminalamnesia · 23 days
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HIIII!!! I just wanted to say that i really love ur writing! I've read ur traitor series and I can't wait for part 4! I'm a new author, and english isn't my first language, so it's sometimes very hard for me to write bcs i'm stil not that good, but ur fics have helped me improve<3💗!
thank you so much!🫶 im glad you’ve enjoyed the series! and speaking of part four, here it is :)
part one / part two / part three / part 3.5 (drabble)
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simon didn’t turn to watch you leave the gym.
he stood there, eyes forward, mask clenched in one fist. he could feel the blood drying on his skin. he made no move to wipe it away.
he didn’t blame you for your anger— he couldn’t. he understood the rage. had felt it himself a time or two.
but he couldn’t take everything lying down.
did he deserve your wrath, your fury? yes— and he knew that. there was no making up for what he did; he realized that, but why couldn’t you understand?
he’d never fully taken his walls down around you, and that was no fault of your own. he was a guarded man, and his past gave him every right to be.
he had been burned and broken too many times. he’d seen the people he loved murdered because of him.
he swore he would never let that happen again. he put those walls up, and you knocked some of them down.
but there were some you’d never gotten through, at least, simon told himself you hadn’t. there was always something he was holding back, a piece of himself he wouldn’t give freely. he told himself it was because he couldn’t stand to love you so deeply and then watch you leave.
but really, it was because he needed an out. he needed a way to justify his leaving if something ever happened— and that’s what got him here.
simon trusted the 141 with his life. he trusted his captain with his life. price had never led him astray; john knew his face well before any of the others. well before you.
and when someone you trust so deeply, someone you’ve followed for years, tells you that the person you love has betrayed your team?
you can’t help but believe them. and that’s what simon did.
the evidence was coincidental at first. wrong place, wrong time. but then, everything started to seem like more than a coincidence. pieces of a complicated puzzle were fitting together. things only you and the rest of the 141 would know were leaked.
and all the signs pointed to you.
and although he didn’t want to, simon couldn’t help it. the second price had confided in him that you may be the rat, simon began to distance himself. you had been confused, but he had offered no explanation.
price was the one to question you first. it was a heated conversation in his office, consisting of him showing you the evidence and you becoming furious at the accusations.
johnny came to you next, buttering you up with his flirtatious and unarming words before asking if you’d leaked information.
then there was kyle, who pleaded for the truth. he told you that a case was being built against you, and that if you came clean now, things wouldn’t be so bad.
simon never tried to talk to you about it. the other men would tell him what you’d said, but he had never gone to talk to you himself.
maybe it was pride. simon wasn’t trusting, not after his past. he had let the 141 in, had let you in. and now you were a suspected traitor, and he was angry at himself. angry he hadn’t seen it sooner; angry he’d let you in at all.
but maybe it was hurt. hurt that you’d done this to him, to the team, after knowing everything they’d been through. after stitching up wounds on the battlefield and taking bullets for one another. after sharing simon’s bed and whispering you loved him.
all he knew was that he trusted price. and as evidence built, so did the distance between the two of you, until you were tied to that chair.
and simon had taken his hurt, his anger, out on you. he wasn’t proud of it, and he knew now that he was wrong. but he was still a little angry. angry because you couldn’t see his side of things— not like he could see yours.
so, he was an ass. he didn’t apologize. he snuck flowers to your bedside but kept his distance. he told you to watch your tone because you were still part of the team, and speaking to price like that was only something an outsider would do.
and he told you that he’d spared your life because he had. anger had consumed him, and truthfully, you were lucky he hadn’t done worse.
even if he’d smothered his feelings for you with rage, he still harbored love for you, and that’s why some part of him held back.
he knew you would probably never forgive him. he had made his peace with that.
but he couldn’t stand the fact that you couldn’t understand why he’d done what he did.
the creak of the gym door opening broke simon from his thoughts. he pulled his mask back on before turning around and making his way to the door.
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it took one firm knock on the door for price to answer.
the door clicked open, and price sighed when he saw simon, scrubbing a hand over his unruly beard before letting the taller man in. price turned, walking back to his desk chair, while simon closed the door behind him and locked it.
“this is a bloody mess,” the captain said, falling heavily into the chair. it squeaked at the sudden weight, old leather crinkling and crackling.
“doc came and saw me earlier, ‘fore she left for the night. told me about some new injuries, and yelled at me for letting that happen.”
simon didn’t speak. price’s eyes met his, and he sighed again.
“fuckin’ hell, simon. what the fuck did you say? doc said she had to stitch up both their hands.”
“doesn’t matter what I say,” simon spoke, eyes still on the captain “they won’t fuckin’ listen.”
price shook his head. “that’s not true, ‘nd we both know it,” he sounded tired as he spoke, dark bags under his eyes. he paused for a moment, then spoke again.
“spoke to laswell after you left earlier. she said she’ll try to speed up the transfer process. tryin’ to avoid more fuss, and im not fightin’ it any longer.”
“they’re part of our team,” simon spoke, tone rough.
price shook his head. “they are, but I can’t keep doin’ this. can’t keep pushin’ off transferin’ because of you lot. it may be better for us, but not for them.”
the room fell quiet. simon inhaled, exhaled. his fists clenched at his sides before quickly unfurling once more.
he didn’t have a right to be mad at you for leaving, but he was.
“laswell say anythin’ else about tha’ transfer?” simon asked.
price leaned back in his chair, arms folded across his chest. “not much. no word on where or with who, but even if she knew, doubt she’d tell us. for their sake.”
simon gave a small nod and made to turn, but froze as price spoke again.
“she did say she didn’t know if it would go through. they’d have to pass another eval.”
they both knew what that meant. if laswell said that, then she didn’t believe the transfer would happen. kate wouldn’t outwardly say it, but price had known what she’d meant.
pushing the transfer through wouldn’t matter if you couldn’t pass a physical and psychological evaluation— and laswell didn’t think you could.
although he wouldn’t admit it, price was unsure, too. torture was something that took an incredibly devastating toll on the mind and body.
but torture at the hands of your team? there was no telling the damage that that would do to someone. to you.
an honorable discharge was more likely. and, if that was the case, then your rage would likely grow tenfold.
you career, your livelihood, taken from you by the hands of the men you trusted the most. your family, cutting you up and pushing you out.
damned by your team and your country, regardless of everything you’d done for both of them during your service.
you were just another cog in the machine, one that had been damaged and discarded, and a discharge couldn’t make that any clearer.
he thought back to what you had said in the gym earlier, before you’d left.
‘you should have killed me.’
maybe he should have.
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thanks to everyone for your patience! also just incase you didn’t see my post about it—
im no longer doing a taglist! my side blog @troiastitans will reblog my works from now on, so if you want to know when I post, follow that account and allow notifications!
as always, thank you for the love! (also I hope you all enjoyed a little peek into simon’s head!)
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vanillaberrychills · 1 month
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cw: agegap, fem college student! reader x older dilf(?)! König. jus some kissies looll // this might be a series lowkey
part 1. || part 2. || part 3.
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— "I'm cheating on you."
The words blared through König's ear, it was surprising, how unaffected he was.  Everything his life had lead up to until now, some how surrounded her.  Marriage, moving to a small town, a son, the neighborhood cookouts.  Twenty years later and König has turned forty; nothing's really changed from the bland and tasteless life porridge he made.
"Are you even listening?" Her rasp was filled with exhaustion and curiousity, begging to paint him as the one to call it off.  Her brow covered in this nervous layer of sweat.
"...Ja." König's voice was low rasp, his hand stopped scrubbing the dishes, dropping the sponge and letting the suds rinse off.  The deafening silence that followed the sink turning off created small seeds of dread in his stomach.  His brows furrowed a bit and he looked up at his wife.
Her expression was somehow equally regretful. Not in her words, but their marriage.  So König spoke first, "We can divorce if you want to."
This was it, that sliver of freedom, a moment to change something.  A moment to do what he wanted.  His eyes trailed away from her gaze, waiting for his words to sink, and then back to her.  When he made eye contact he saw exactly what he had anticipated; relief.  She was relieved that she didn't have to be this monster who called off their marriage, relieved she could go tell the younger guy she was fucking that she was single now.
From then on, things changed rapidly.  König was the one to leave, he never even liked that shitty small town, only going because it was a safe option.  A prenup had been signed years ago, so it wasn't like either of them really lost anything.  And to him, he felt relieved of the small rock pile of burdens he kept picking up.  He was now free.
Or so he wished.
König had immediately taken up nice apartment in the city, somewhere more comfortable and chaotic for his tastes.  He enjoyed it, everyone was equally just as much of an asshole as he was.  No need to pretend to be neighborly anymore.
Not only that, but he had also gone back to work.  Nothing special, mostly training recruits, something to take up time and blow off steam while he contemplated his next course of actions.  Something that bewildered him was how many people tried to "support" him. 
Was this something he was really supposed to be sad about? Should he feel sad about being free? About being guilty?  König did have a son, who was a bit of a lazy asshole; but still, there was no emotional attachment there either.
Even before, when he had begun dating his wife; there was nothing there in his body that felt the typical, tingly love sensations.  Rather, he felt nothing.  Maybe slight guilt if anything, guilt that she didn't make him complete.  A word even he didn't fully understand.
Until today.
"What the fuck do you mean you let someone use the same washing machine as me?" The Laundromat.  Somehow it had chosen to be König's worst enemy today.  The employee somehow incompetent enough to simply let people share washing machines, which now left König's pristine white shirts in a light shade of pink.
The employee just gave a blank stare, seeming to consider a response or an apology that could fix this fuck up, and yet they both doubted there was any.  "I could..give you a refund?"
König inhaled sharply, his social skills were shit.  Severely damaged from joining the military at such a young age, rather than finding the correct responses to properly deal with the situation in a mature manner.  He contemplated strangling him from across the counter.
"Oh wow," A soft, feminine voice spoke out from behind König, it absolutely shrank his rage into something smaller, and much more compliant.  The sound of heels clacking on the floor seemed to blare over the loud machines.  A cute, manicured set of nails scratching gently against the counter, reaching out to grab his stained shirt. 
And god, he felt like he was going to puke.  In front of him was a college girl, adorned in pink, white, and pastel colored clothes frillied with ribbons and pretty bows.  Something he would never see in that small town he lived in his wife, never with the strong headed military women he had worked with and respected for years.  Just a bratty-looking young adult with a comforting voice.
You.
You who made every action feel like a deliberate call to the male gaze, this playful, glossy smirk across your lips as you lifted the shirt up and grinned, "Ya know, I think I can get this stain out!"
There it was, though his glare never changed, his heart pounded.  He grinded his teeth to bite back this animalistic sensation in his body.  His first thoughts a consistent stream of swears and flashes of of your cute lacy clothes.  How could you just be so bold with what you wore? Smiling at him like that?
After a moment, he realized he had to respond, so he forced put a gruff reply, "Then do it."
You simply giggled, "Can't."
The teasing smirk in your gaze, staring up at him as if he weren't several spaces higher than you.
"Why?"
"Just can't, only have the stuff to fix it at my place.  If you want to come, I'll fix it." Such a coy thing you were, a little fox, eyeing him up and down carefully, far from innocent you were. 
And theres no way It could've been that easy for you to lure him in your trap. Yet here you both were, in your apartment, you humming softly in the other room, fixing his shirt.  His cold eyes scanning the room, trying to get a whiff of who you really were.
Girly shit everywhere, make-up, furniture, cat throw pillows.  He shifted uncomfortably on the couch. He felt totally out of his element, he felt old. You were the drastic difference he had never once encountered, a modern phone with a cute case, different from his shitty flip phone.
So well groomed and somehow cutely organized, which was different from his gruff and stern appearance. Didn't give a shit what he looked like as long as his stubble didnt give him issues at work. Scars jagged all over his jaw and brows, a permanent frown on his face.
"Like my stuff?" Your soft voice chimed from directly behind him, interrupting his trail of thoughts.  König's eyes widened and he glanced back and up at where you stood.  Leaned forward against the back of the couch with a small smirk.
"It's.. immature." Was all König could rasp out.  Fuck, his social anxiety would be the death of him with a little monster like you around.
Just as he anticipated, you picked up on his nervousness, leaning slightly toward him, "Thought you liked immature."
The dots finally fell into place for König, he stared up at your somehow menacing figure, the hyper feminine outfit you wore, cute nails, how could this be scarier than the soldiers he used to kill daily? Because he wanted you. It felt dirty, never having seen himself staring down a girl this much younger than him.
"Liebling, you're not very smart are you?" Rather than taking offense you giggled a bit, making his eyes narrow, "I don't like stupid little girls."
"But you'll like me." König onsidered your instant response, and you continued to try and sway him with filthy words, "let me borrow your cock."
"No." He growled lowly, grabbing you by your jaw roughly.  You didn't even flinch, all you wanted was him to be rough with you; for him to put you in your place.  To toy with you like the big man he was.  And König only wanted to wipe that smug, bratty smirk off your face.  "Stick out your tongue, schatz"
You obeyed immediately, eyes slightly shutting as your rabbit pink tongue stuck out.  König taking the opportunity to pull you close with a rough tug, suckling on the warm muscle. 
Your knees felt a bit weak at his overwhelming warmth, breath hitching slightly. It was honestly surprising, how quickly he violated your mouth, the way you tried to tug away and catch a breath, only earning a growl and a tug to put you back where you belonged, in his mouth.  Your face flushed even, when he finally released you, a string of saliva between your lips. With quiet pants you half-liddedly searching for eye contact with him, where he stared you down with this cold eyes.
"Filthy little girl, you just want an older man's cock.  Don't you?" His hand still roughly gripped along your jaw and neck, thumb rubbing your lip gloss smudged bottom lip.  And you could only weakly whimper and nodded. Your cunt clenching on nothing, you wanted his cock so bad.
König chuckled, "That's too bad. Stick out your tongue again, whore."
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nathaslosthershit · 25 days
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Teen Dad (OP81)
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(Part 1 of the Blind Item Series) (Part 1 of the Teen Dad OP AU)
Summary: Rumors are flying about a young driver with kids
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Seeing the rumor, and various other tweets commenting on the matter, first thing this morning was like getting a bucket of ice water dumped on him. Oscar immediately sat up, frightening his fiancée who was asleep next to him a moment before.
“What? What's wrong? Are you okay?” she asked, sitting up.
“Fuck this is not good.” He mumbled as he looked through more tweets. He knew he had minutes before his PR team started messaging him on how best to proceed. 
“Osc, you are really scaring me. What is going on?” His fiancée asked again. After 5 years together and two kids, she knew him well enough to know that Oscar isn’t easily woken up. While he usually wakes up early to train or help the kids, on days like today where he has the chance to sleep in, he will usually take it. But the amount of notifications he started getting were enough to get him to check his phone and once he saw the severity of the situation he was awake and alarmed. 
“A blind item about a ‘younger f1 driver with two kids he had as a teen’ just went up. No confirmation on who but it seems they have gotten it down to only a few of us. They don’t know yet but I am sure they will know soon.” 
He was grateful they hadn’t clocked in on him but Oscar was sure with a bit more time to dig people would put two and two together. He wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he was a teen dad, not anymore at least. When he was even more so an up and coming driver, he kept it hush because he was nervous being 18 with two kids would lead teams to reconsider where his priorities were, his family or his career. That wouldn’t have been crazy of them to do though, as important as racing was to Oscar, he would always pick his family first. Luckily, though, he had a great enough support system so he didn't have to choose. 
Most people in Oscar’s life knew. Any teams apart from Prema, Mclaren, and Alpine were none the wiser but why would they need to know? Not all drivers knew either, some who he had become closer to were let in on the secret, especially Logan, who had been there the entirety of his kids' lives. Annoyingly, at least in Oscar’s opinion, he has been titled ‘the cool uncle’ from day one. 
“What do we do?” his fiancée asked, snapping him out of his spiraling.
“I imagine it is up to my team to figure that one out. I’ll message them now. Get the kids ready and I’ll be done in time to help with breakfast.” He said as he got up.
After a long, pretty impromptu, call, it was decided Oscar would make a statement about it before it was revealed to be him. He wasn’t too happy about not getting to really do it on his own terms but this is the way it worked out, and hey, Oscar would be lying if he said he wasn’t already planning which race he was going to bring his kids to first.
oscarpiastri
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oscarpiastri This is of course not how I wanted to do this. I had hoped to have more time before I had to let the peace of privacy go but these things happen when you are in the spotlight. So yes, I am a father of two great kids and I have been since I was 18. I am not ashamed by the fact I was a teen dad, and am certainly not hiding my kids out of anything but love. I hadn’t realized I could truly love anything or anyone more than racing but then these two came into my life and I realized I would give it all up for them. Luckily, with the support of their mother (who is my fiancée) and my family, I didn’t have to give it up. My four person family means more to me than anything and I count my lucky stars each night that I have been blessed with them. I ask that you please respect our privacy. This isn’t the end of you seeing the Piastri twins but I, being the over protective father I am, am not ready to throw two 3 year olds into the chaos of the motorsport world just yet.
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Part 2: A Much Needed Interview out now!
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saintobio · 2 months
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sincerely yours. (9)
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↳ gojou satoru/reader
when a twist of fate led their marriage to the path of a quintessential tragic romance, two past lovers go through another series of experiences on love, heartbreak, identity, illness, and trauma along the road to a happily ever after. 
genre. heavy angst, amnesia, modern au, 18+ 
tags/warnings. profanity, usage of alcohol, mentions of cheating, implied suicide attempt, toxic relationship, explicit smut
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series masterlist -> episode ten
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Satoru had a major problem. 
And it was his self-control. His lack of self-control was the reason he had engaged himself in an adulterous relationship back when he was married. His lack of self-control was the reason why you had become the recipient of his unreasonable anger in the early stages of your marriage. His lack of self-control was the reason why, out of all the women in the world, he was now sleeping with a friend of yours. For God’s sake, his lack of self-control was probably the reason why you were also pushed to your limits, choosing to cut your marital ties with him and leaving only the scraps of his role as a parent to Sachiro.
Back when he was attending his weekly therapy sessions, his therapist told him that part of what he needed to learn was to control his impulses, resist temptations, and actively exercise his willpower. They were easier to achieve then than now, since he was the loneliest man at the time with no friends, no wife, no son, and no bustling company to run. His decisions remained untainted, his temptations unchallenged, his emotions uninfluenced—a solitary journey at its finest. He was all by himself. How come? It was because he was sent by his mom to Osaka to temporarily seclude him from his harrowing memories in Tokyo, compelling him to sever ties with the outside world and immerse solely in personal convalescence. Reflecting now, it felt no different than being sent to a psychiatric hospital.
He could say it worked at the time. He learned how to keep his emotions at bay. He learned how to control his thoughts, throwing away the bad and keeping only the good. He was a new man by the time he returned to Tokyo, prepared as ever to take on his role as the Chairman of the Gojou Group, ready to once again try and live a normal life. But the moment news had spread about his ex-wife's marriage to his business rival, all the self-control he had painstakingly cultivated seemed to have evaporated in an instant.
Everything also went downhill after that. 
He wasn’t going to list down all of the things that happened nor the impact it had on him since you yourself were a witness to them. But if he was going to look at the way your return has changed the trajectory of his life 3 years after you first left, he would still at a hundred percent put all the blame on his shoulders. None of this domino effect would end up like this if he had been a faithful and loving husband in the first place. The pressure from his father was not the only root of all this, the branches also extended to his corporate greed which ultimately ruined his chance at a fruitful marriage with you. 
But at least, the chaos should have settled by now. You chose to move forward and he decided to respect your decision by finding his way to another. This should free you both from the emotional torture that had you imprisoned in each other's cage for the longest time. He would still be there for you as the father of your child, but otherwise, he was happy that you had Toji Zen’in by your side to fill in the marital gaps that he had failed to complete. 
A heavy sigh escaped his lips. The warm water fell on his body in rivulets, soaking him completely so early in the morning as he decided to take a long shower. For how long? He couldn’t tell. He could stay there for hours if need be. He had to let his mind wander on its own, with a hand pressed against the wall, and another stroking his white hair back. Despite accepting the fact that Toji now owned your love and affection… well, wasn’t that son of a gun too lucky? Did he even realize that the woman he would marry was once Satoru’s entire universe? 
Ah, but who cares? Satoru scoffed inwardly, leaning his head back to let the water hit his face. He had Akemi, so why did it matter if you had Toji? He wasn’t bitter. He was just trying to reason with himself that you deserved to be with someone you really, truthfully loved. And he deserved that, too. Maybe not now, but at the perfect time, he could relive the life of a married man after learning from his mistakes the hard way. A much better one. A married man who would never in his life betray, hurt, or ruin his partner. A doting husband who would offer his whole life just to make her happy. He promised to himself that Akemi should have that kind of man from him. 
Though, he could ask himself, how far was he from achieving that? He did practice his self-control last night when joined you in the pool—his face, inches away from you. Hand gripping your hip. Eye-to-eye. Skin-to-skin. Your warm breath fanning his cheek. Just another step forward and your lips would touch. But he didn’t let that happen. He mustered all of his power to pull back from the gravity that was drawing him closer to you. Still, he couldn’t deny that you looked absolutely gorgeous last night. As the moonlight illuminated your face, he could swear that the stars also sparkled on your eyes. They must be from the tears you were desperately holding back, but either way, you were still so goddamn beautiful. He almost couldn’t keep his eyes off you last night and had to distract himself from looking at your lips, your collarbone, your chest, your curves…
“Fuck.” 
Talk about self-control. 
Satoru had none of that right now. His body reacted involuntarily to the thought of you last night. The sensual thought of you. The what-ifs.
What if he had wrapped your legs around his waist and enveloped your lips into a passionate kiss? 
He took a deep breath, still holding onto the wall as his other hand traveled to his growing member. 
What if he had carried you all the way into the living room and laid you naked on the couch? 
Closing his eyes, his hand started moving on its own, stroking his hardened cock and feeling every ridge as he pleasured himself. 
What if you had let him devour you? Let him roll his tongue on your entrance and taste your sweet, sweet flesh? 
Gojou let out a moan. A quiet yet desperate moan when he continued to jerk himself off faster and rougher. Damn it. He had to keep it low and he better not be heard committing such a sin in the bathroom. Although, he was confident that you were still sound asleep next to Sachiro in your bedroom, so he didn't think you would hear the noise he was making.
After all, it was shameless to know what was driving his feral thoughts right now. Thoughts of you letting him slide his tip along your entrance. Thoughts of him ramming his cock inside your tight cunt, being squeezed by your soft, velvet walls. Thoughts of your breasts bouncing wildly as he continued to hit your most sensitive spot. Fuck. Faster. He would have taken you on all fours, too. He would have let you ride his hardened shaft. He would have pressed you against the sofa and put your legs above his shoulders, letting you milk his cock with the tightness of your cunt. Satoru would release his warm seed into you in every position. He would shoot every drop of his cum straight to your womb, no doubt impregnating you for the second time around. He would absolutely love that. He would love seeing the residues of his wanton desire for you seeping out of your pussy. He would be at bliss watching your belly grow a few months after that, knowing that he had created yet another beautiful life inside of you. 
“Y/N…” 
Awakened by his senses, Satoru opened his eyes and saw the sticky white mess on his hand and on the wall. What the hell did he just do? More importantly, what the hell was he thinking of? 
No one should know about that. Not you, not even Akemi. He didn’t cheat on her, no. He didn’t do anything with you. That shouldn’t be counted as cheating. He didn’t even touch you. And he wasn't even officially dating Akemi.
No, no… 
Absolutely not.
Drowning into a pool of guilt, the first thing he did after that sinful shower session was to contact his supposed girlfriend not-girlfiend. And to make things even more awkward, you entered the kitchen in silence at the right time, carrying a sleepy Sachiro in your arms, unaware of the dilemma that was sending your ex-lover into a spiral.
“Morning,” he greeted almost inaudibly, clearing his throat and taking a sip of coffee afterwards. He had to think straight. 
“Morning,” was your simple and oblivious reply as you went about your daily morning routine. 
Gojou, on the other hand, was typing on his phone because Akemi wasn’t answering his FaceTime calls. He had completely forgotten to update her all day because he had been a little bit too occupied the moment he landed in America. She must be overthinking why he hadn’t reached out to her until now, and he felt extremely awful and responsible for that, but she couldn’t be fast asleep that early, right? It was 7:00 a.m. in New York, so that meant it was only 9:00 p.m. back home. 
He nervously rang her number once more, mumbling a ‘please answer’ as he watched her caller ID appear on the screen. 
“Dada,” called Sachiro, looking at him as his mother sat him on the high chair to prepare his breakfast. 
Still holding his phone, Satoru walked to his son and placed a gentle kiss on his tiny forehead. “Morning, Sachi. Did you sleep well?” 
The toddler nodded at him, drinking milk from the baby bottle that he was holding with both hands. His eyes were wide and blue—quite the same hues of blue that would remind you of a clear sky. Satoru couldn’t help but pinch his adorable son’s cheeks. 
And while you were busy picking out food from the pantry, Akemi finally answered his call after the fourth attempt and showed her beautiful, soft features on the screen. His eyes immediately lit up at the sight of her. “Hey, how are you?” 
He could tell she was still a bit distant and upset because of what happened two weeks ago, when she claimed to have heard him say your name during his sleep. He already made an excuse for it as he also didn’t know why he even did it in the first place, but Akemi was still understandably hurt. He couldn’t blame her. 
“I’m fine, how are you?” she tiredly asked, seemingly heading towards her bed. “I just got home from work, that's why I wasn’t answering.” 
He could see, in the corner of his eyes, that you were glancing at him but he didn’t return it. All of his focus was on Akemi, feeling bad that he hadn’t exactly been a good partner for her lately. Especially after the shit he just did in the shower this morning, but that was a secret that was meant to be buried. “Alright, did you have dinner already? It’s morning here so I’m having breakfast.”
She offered a small smile albeit the visible exhaustion on her eyes. “I did. How’s Sachiro doing?” 
“You wanna see him?” He walked closer to his son, showing him on the screen as his big blue eyes stared at the woman on the other end of the line. “Sachi, say hi to Auntie ‘Kemi.” 
“Hiii~” Sachiro happily greeted Akemi, while the latter cooed at the sight of his son. She spoke to him with a gentle and motherly tone, weaving warmth and love into her words. It made his heart full knowing that Akemi would wholeheartedly treat his child as her own, because if there was a slight possibility that she wouldn’t, she knew that Satoru would rather let her go. His child was still more important than any other woman. And so if his future partner couldn’t accept the fact that he had a child with his ex-wife, then they shouldn’t be in his life after all. The case was different with Akemi because she was already your friend and she had the chance to see Sachiro grow up before Gojou even knew his son existed at all. It was a bit complicated, but things turned out to be easier on the part of acceptance. 
The only problem was you. 
Because by the time the call ended, Satoru could tell that you weren’t in the best mood as you ate breakfast next to Sachiro in complete silence. Your eyebrows were curled into annoyance, and yet your eyes held sadness in them, an expression that had become difficult for him to fathom. Were you jealous of Akemi? He assumed you would say no, but your expressions showed otherwise. 
“Y/N,” he called for your attention, hoping that you would look into his eyes for a little bit. Yet, not a chance did you do. “What’s our agenda for today?” 
You seemed irritated, if anything. You refused to look at him as you gave a curt reply. “I communicated everything you needed to know via email. You should have checked it instead of letting Miwa do everything for you.”
Jeez. You were definitely angry. “Okay.” He cleared his throat once more. “I just asked in case there was a last minute change.” 
“There isn’t. I would have said so if there is.” 
“Right.”
Satoru didn’t know how to act in front of his ex-wife anymore. Now that he had seemed to ignite your pique, he chose not to say anything else further as you two finished your meals and cleaned up after yourselves. The only time he spoke again was when he offered to bathe Sachiro so that you could focus on yourself. 
You agreed. 
And he did his part. 
It was simple give-and-take. A transactional relationship, if you must. Nothing else would blossom from that except your responsibilities as parents for Sachiro. 
——
The New York trip was already as awkward as it was. And it only just started. 
To be fair, it wouldn’t have been as uncomfortable if only Gojou had not decided to make it so. He was the one that made the atmosphere unpleasant by trying to savor every inch of closeness he could get to your skin, only to pull away as if nothing happened. As if he didn’t care about how it made you feel. He even had the audacity to lecture you on how to go about being good parents and setting a good example to Sachiro. Then suddenly, the next morning, he would act like such a loyal and caring partner to Akemi. 
The thought of his loyalty made you scoff on the inside. He should be the absolute last one to be saying that. He should be the last one to profess how much of a loyal man he was trying to be to his new girl. 
Besides, even before this trip was arranged, you had already made it clear on your mind that the sole purpose of going to New York was for Sachiro's sake. Any interaction outside the need to be there for your son would be unnecessary. He wasn’t someone you still needed in your own personal life nor did he need you in his. Your past relationship no longer mattered in this situation and all that was left was for it to be forgotten. But even with your resistance to be anything more than a parent to your son, Satoru still respected you. He still showed, even in little ways, that he cared about your comfort throughout the trip. 
Five days had gone by, and everything you did in New York had been smooth sailing, all thanks to his grand number of connections across the USA. In a short amount of time, Sachiro’s surname had been legally changed, and everything else concerning his birth certificate had been corrected. The only issue left to address was your son’s nationality since Japan doesn’t permit dual citizenship and Sachiro would have to carry a Japanese citizenship and the Gojou name to be able to inherit his father’s assets and multinational conglomerate. You would leave that one up for Satoru to deal with, but everything else had been settled on your end. 
Although this trip wasn’t exactly a vacation, Gojou insisted that you two still take Sachiro out to explore the city he grew up in. And you did so by going to Central Park, telling your ex-husband stories of how you used to bring Sachiro there in a stroller when he was still a little baby and that plenty of strangers, both locals or tourists, would coo at him the minute they took a peek at his adorable face. You also took him to the Empire State Building to get the best view of the entire New York City, and Satoru being Satoru couldn’t leave without taking a family photo with you and your son, capturing the beautiful urban cityscape behind you. You could see it in his eyes that even though he was happy to be there, he was also melancholic at the same time. Almost three years of his son’s life were spent in this famous city, without him, and it was as though the bitter memories of those three years for him were haunting him back. Sadness was reflecting off of his crystal blue eyes as he took a minute staring at the view of the city, reminding you that you were the reason why he had missed out on his baby’s first memories. 
If guilt could literally eat you alive, you would have been devoured. 
“Ready to go, Sachi?” Satoru asked your son, tucking his phone away after having (seemingly) sent Akemi a text message, probably updating her of where he was and what he was doing. In fact, he had been texting and calling her every now and then, as if he was doing his best to reassure her that he wasn’t doing any funny business with you. Has Akemi always been a possessive partner? Even with your years of friendship with her, she had never acted that way in her past relationship. So, was she only like that to Satoru specifically? You wondered if she would go nuts had she heard Satoru tell you how badly he wanted to make more babies with you on your first night here. 
Sachiro nodded, clinging to your hand while reaching for his father’s. “Dada, hand pwease!” 
Satoru did offer his hand, but mirrored the surprise on your face when your son tried to link your fingers together, urging you to hold each other's hands like a couple. You didn’t want to get too offended by it, but your ex-husband was the first one to pull away. “I, uh, made a reservation for us in Carbone,” he said, unable to exchange eye-contact, “Yuuta will meet us there.” 
“Oh, he’s in New York?” you asked, pretending you didn’t notice how he acted allergic to your touch and redirected your attention to your son. “Did you hear that, Sachi? Uncle Yuuta will come and see you.” 
Your little one was oblivious to the world, too distracted by the throng of people surrounding the place that he didn’t even notice how his parents were uneasy with each other. To say that you didn’t feel bad for your son was a lie, because it actually broke your heart. Even if you and Satoru were working on co-parenting and making sure Sachiro wouldn’t feel the gravity of a broken household, you knew that when he reached the right age, all of this would still have an effect on him. One day, he would still be asking questions about his parents. Questions about why you separated, why your marriage failed, and why you had to move to New York while his father stayed behind. It hurt. Deep inside, it hurt so much to know that your only son wasn’t given the chance to have a complete family and it felt like a failure on your part as his parent. 
You were sure that was what Yuuta thought, too. As you met with him at a fancy restaurant in the city, you could see how his face lightened up seeing his nephew bonding with his parents as if it were a family vacation. He must have known what it was like to have a broken household. In fact, he had lived in a toxic one before, but he still grew up to be a mature and dignified young man who never let the horrors of his family’s actions affect his rational thinking. So if there was anyone in the world who would sympathize the most with Sachiro, it would be Yuuta.
“Sachi,” he spoke to your son fondly, wiping the sauce on the toddler’s chin. Yuuta chuckled as he watched the little boy's grimace after being given a small piece of broccoli. “You don’t like vegetables?” 
You fixed the bib on your son’s neck. “He does, but he’s very picky with it,” you tell Yuuta, glancing at Satoru who was busy speaking on the phone with Nanami about what appeared to be matters concerning the company. “Wonder where he got it from.” 
“Right.” Yuuta’s eyes turned into moon crescents as he smiled. “I remember nii-san being a little picky.” 
“You hear that Sachi?” you teased your son, who looked at you with his cute puppy eyes. You knew that if you had the ability to peak through his toddler mind, it would actually be full of fried chicken. The thought made you laugh. “Don’t be like daddy, okay? Sachi needs to have his veggies so he’ll be strong when he grows up.” 
“But…” Sachiro pointed to his father. “Dada is stwong.” 
Satoru chimed in at the conversation after having finished the call, “That’s right, Dada’s strong. Mommy could barely even handle me.” 
“Do you even know what we’re talking about?” You rolled your eyes, while Yuuta wanted to giggle, but chose to hold it back seeing the awkwardness of the situation.
Satoru shrugged and sat on his chair, eyeing the scrumptious dishes that were served to your table. He was acting like he hadn't been served more expensive meals before. “Have you tried the spicy rigatoni before? I heard it’s famous here.” 
You casually answered. “Yes. Toji used to bring me here every time he visited.” 
Look, you didn’t mean to overshare nor did you mean to make things even more awkward. You also didn’t mean to slap it in his face about how you were spending your years in New York with Toji. But Satoru, with his pride, took it resentfully. 
“Oh, really?” His words were the opposite of his voice. He was mirthless and full of unenthusiasm before changing the topic, redirecting his attention to his step-brother instead. “How’s Harvard?”
Yuuta eased the tension by making small talk, sharing details about his university life, and making sure he didn’t contribute to the growing tension. “I’m really just trying to survive this semester so I can go back home as soon as I graduate.” After taking a sip of his Cabernet Blend, he continued, “Like I promised, I’ll help you with the company.” 
You were happy, at least, to know that Satoru and Yuuta had fixed their relationship as step-brothers even after the whole incident with Nana, Eula, and their father. What used to be a relationship full of envy and competition finally became one that was full of mutual trust and support. Yuuta deserved that since he never once wished for his brother’s downfall, while Satoru also deserved to have a family member that had his back and helped him with the business without constantly fighting about inheritance. Because technically, Satoru was the sole heir of the Gojou family, and his dad only made it seem as though he would give it to Yuuta to make his own son comply with his orders. Satoru’s dad was controlling in that sense, and that was what led to all of this. 
But the present was more important. Things have changed and mistakes have been learned. It was all up to you on how you were going to manage your new life moving forward. 
Only, if only things were a little bit different on his side.
——
You had raised your son all by yourself for the last 3 years, so the presence of his father wasn’t really something you were used to for the longest time. How Sachiro acted around other people was solely a reflection of your teachings, discipline, and guidance as his mother. He didn’t really have a paternal figure up until now, and even if Toji was there to support your journey to motherhood, he never fully meddled with your mother-son relationship nor did he act like a replacement to Sachiro’s biological father. He loved him like his own, but respected the fact that the spot was reserved for Satoru. He knew that. He understood that, because he himself experienced raising a child alone without the presence of a mother. And if you asked him, he, too, would not want Megumi to replace the very love that he was supposed to have for his biological mom. Sure, Megumi could love and respect you, but Toji would still want him to save an unnegotiable spot for his mother in his heart. After all, she had birthed him. And in that same way, you had birthed Sachiro and created him with Satoru during your marriage. If there was anyone Sachiro should look up to, it had to be his father. 
And quite frankly, the father himself was doing an excellent job. 
But then again, remembering how hands-on Satoru was to you during your pregnancy, you never doubted that he would be a good parent. He may not be a perfect husband, but he loved his child with all of his heart and soul, and he would risk it all just to keep him happy. 
It was new to you how, throughout the trip, you didn’t have to take care of Sachiro alone. You and Satoru helped each other harmoniously, attending to your toddler’s needs and making sure he was being prioritized. You were glad. Truly. You were grateful to see that he wasn’t an absent father and that his words weren’t empty when he promised you that he would be a responsible dad to him. 
Though, at the back of your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what would happen if he welcomed another child in this world? A child that didn’t come from you? Deep inside, it hurt you to imagine him neglecting Sachiro on the side the minute he welcomed a new baby with Akemi. The reality was, the father would always prioritize the child of the current wife, not the child of the ex-wife. He would still support him, sure. But would he still pay the same level of attention that he was giving Sachiro now? You would probably break in half if Sachiro was thrown to the agonizing realm of feeling like an outsider in his own family because no child deserved that. If Satoru had that experience first-hand, he should not subject his own son to that same feeling.
You would be selfish to say this, but you wanted to seize the opportunity while Sachiro was still his only son. Hiding him from his father was your fault—you had gone through that a million times and you weren’t shy at holding yourself accountable through that mistake. However, you were already doing your best to make amends and make up for the years Sachiro had missed around his father. He was Satoru’s first and only child, and therefore he should never fight for his father’s affection. You weren’t sure what Satoru’s long term plans with Akemi were, but if they were considering having their own children someday, you would never allow your son to be pushed back at the bottom of the family tree.
Sachiro was the true first-born son of Satoru. He should never have to fight for his position in his father's eyes.
And so on the night of your flight back to Japan, when Satoru asked if he could take Sachiro with him for the rest of the week, you had no problems in saying yes. Your only wish right now was for them to spend as much time together as possible.
“Where are you taking him?” you did ask in spite of your leniency to send your son away, waiting inside the car as the pilot and crew prepared the private jet. “Please send me the full address. I need to know where he’s gonna stay and—”
“You’ll get the details from Miwa,” he casually said, rubbing Sachiro’s back as the little boy slept on his chest. He didn’t bother meeting your eyes as he talked. “I’m just taking him to my vacation home in Osaka.”
Osaka…
That was where his mother isolated him from the rest of the world when he was having terrible episodes. Episodes that worsened after he had found out that you ‘terminated’ his child and abandoned him for good. Shoko once said that they felt like Gojou disappeared from their lives while he was there, because nobody else could reach out to him. They couldn’t visit him nor could they contact him for a year or so until he was mentally ready to come back to Tokyo. 
You didn’t want to pry on matters that were sensitive to him, so you chose not to say anything concerning his decision to take Sachiro to Osaka. He must have wanted to reflect on his past experiences, allowing him to heal from them as it brought him to the incommutable life he had now—life knowing that Sachiro actually existed after everything that he was made to believe. 
“Please take good care of him, okay?” It was only a reminder, nothing else.
Satoru kept a straight face, nodding before he planted a kiss on his son’s forehead. “I got it from here.” 
After a minute of silence, you both got out of the car and you watched him carry the peaceful Sachiro in his arms. You left the sleeping toddler a tender kiss on the cheek before parting ways. “I love you, my baby.” Stroking his hair, you kissed his tiny nose. “Mommy will see you soon.” 
Satoru knew that you were staying behind. You had informed him of your plans before you even came here to the airport with him, explaining that Toji would be in Miami and that you had made arrangements to meet with your fiancé there. Satoru didn’t say anything much about it either, simply nodding his head at your decision and telling you to ‘do whatever’ because he was no longer a husband you should report your plans to. There was no hint of jealousy in his stance, but you couldn't miss the flicker of bitterness that did appear on his eyes for a millisecond. 
You didn’t even say goodbye to each other as you watched them board the plane. And he didn’t even bother looking back at you to tell you to take care of yourself. Not that you expected anything from him, but a quick goodbye would have been nice since you did spend the last couple of days together. Or perhaps, he was upset about the fact that you were staying behind to meet Toji? 
Either way, you were on your own now. 
It took some time for you to reach Toji in Miami. He had insisted on meeting you at the airport, but because he had to meet with a foreign investor, you headed straight to the hotel he was staying at. Funny enough, you couldn’t help but compare how different it was to stay in the same accommodation as your fiancé vs with your ex-husband and son. With Toji, nothing felt uncomfortable and sharing a room as a couple was as normal as it should be, but things did feel too formal and too forced. With Satoru, it felt awkward to share the same space with him, but since your son was there, it felt like home. It felt strangely close to home, like it was only right. That staying together as a family was what your heart wanted. 
Ever since Satoru went back to Japan with Sachiro, you had been feeling a wave of separation anxiety. Your mind was always left wandering towards them; how they were doing, where they were, what they had for dinner. You wondered if Sachiro was giving his father a headache. Smiling at the thought, perhaps he was giving Satoru a hard time changing his diapers. 
“Everything okay?” Toji, noticing your trance, put an arm around you as you two sat at the VIP lounge of the Miami Grand Prix. This was Toji’s scene. If Satoru was a fan of horseback riding and polo, Toji preferred big time F1 races. He even personally knew the racers, the type of cars they were driving, and everything a huge fan had to know. You weren’t all that familiar with these things, so it was a little hard to keep up with his lifestyle. 
“Y-Yeah, sorry,” you stammered, realizing how distracted you had been all this time. “What were you saying?” 
He drank from his glass of 30 year-old Macallan, downing the liquor like it was mere water. A cloud of disappointment settled over his features. “Not interesting to you, huh?” 
“No, I…” You made an effort to place a hand on his nape, giving him an apologetic peck on the lips. “I’m really sorry for zoning out. I was just… I guess I was just a little tired from New York.”
Toji placed a hand on your knee, sighing. “It’s fine. I was just trying to introduce the guys to you,” he said, scooting closer as he pointed to the racers. “You know that guy? Lewis Hamilton. He’s quite popular with the ladies,” then he moved his finger towards the other drivers, “And we got here for Ferrari, Carlos Sainz and Charles Leclerc, also fan favorites.” 
Your eyes suddenly caught sight of Gojou’s favorite car brand. “Um, how about McLaren? Who drives for them?” 
Unsure if Toji caught on or not, he did take a minute before feeding into your curiosity. “Norris and Piastri.” 
You wished you had any idea about F1 so that you could be as enthusiastic as Toji was at this event. He was at his happiest right now and you didn’t want to ruin it by being a boring, uncultured fiancé, because frankly, all these women around would have done a better job at entertaining him. Toji was very eye-candy and you couldn’t blame these models from glancing up at him, especially with how manly and suave he was, dressed like a picture perfect example of an old money businessman. The likes of him were the prey of these desperate influencers, willing to sell their bodies in exchange for a night with him. But truth be told, that was their way of living and you could never find it in yourself to insult them. You didn’t want to shame them for attempting to climb the social ladder because that was how they view money and success, or at least a faster ticket to it. 
As long as they didn’t try to make moves on your fiancé while you were around, you wouldn’t be so bothered by a few stares here and there. 
Neither was Toji. He must have experienced being stared at during these events plenty of times before, and he probably even sent women home crying because of rejection or worse, humiliation. Now that you think of it, how did Megumi feel when his father was being hit on while watching the Grand Prix? Most importantly, why was the teenage son absent at this current event? 
“Love, why didn’t you bring Megumi with you?” you inquired out of a sudden curiosity, knowing that Megumi was always present next to his father during F1 events. 
Toji took a sip of the hard liquor once more. “He didn’t wanna go. He was giving me the silent treatment before I left for the US.” 
Confusion further blanketed your eyes. “Did something happen back home?” 
He let out a deep breath, his face signaling that he was deep in dilemma. “The Zen’in elders want to set him up for an arranged marriage,” he revealed, much to your surprise, “They wanna make sure he’s not gonna end up like me, married to someone who wasn’t ‘qualified’ to be my wife.” 
At first you were confused if he was referring to you, but you realized that he was describing his late wife. Megumi’s own mother, the only woman Toji had ever loved by a mile. He fought everyone for her, even turned his back on his own family for her, but claimed that he also ultimately led her to her demise because the elders of his family harassed her until the day she died. It was a tragic love, perhaps even more tragic than yours, so you somehow understood why Toji was conflicted about Megumi’s personal life.
But you? You were strongly against it. “I don’t support arranged marriages, you know that,” you told him with conviction, sympathizing for the poor boy, “It’s not gonna end well. You know what happened to me…”
“I know.” Toji’s eyes were filled with regret. “I know, but there’s nothing I can do about it unless Megumi himself tells me he has someone he loves.” 
“Did you ask?” 
“He’s tight-lipped about it.” 
You sighed. “Well, he’s a teenager. They get pretty shy about these things.”
Forcing a marriage was never a good thing. You couldn’t understand why the concept even existed because it didn’t benefit anyone aside from the people around the married couple. That was why they called it a marriage of convenience. They were married for everyone’s sake but themselves; family name, status, business… You have had enough of it. If only you realized it from the very beginning, you never would have subjected yourself to a loveless marriage with Satoru. Even if your love did grow eventually, things still didn’t work out for the best, and now your life was a mess. A divorced couple co-parenting their only son? There was obviously no convenience gained in that false marriage.
Megumi would just be wasting years of his life tied to a person he didn’t love and so you were hoping that Toji would fight for his son’s right. Because if he truly understood you, he would not subject his son to the same suffering you went through. 
“I wish my wife was here,” mumbled Toji, forlornly, “She’d know how to handle these things better than I do.” 
Were you not there for him? You swallowed your pride, hiding the pain in your voice. “Right…” A smile was all that you could offer. “I’m sure she would.” 
��—
Something was different about Toji and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. 
It wasn’t his appearance, and neither was it the way he spoke to you. He was all the same except for one thing; the look in his eyes. 
He had told you this before. He said that the eyes carry the most truthful and raw emotion that you can see on someone. The presence of love would be visible in someone’s eyes just as you would see stars on a clear, night sky. The lack, however, would mean that the eyes are blank and empty like the dark void in the expanse of the universe. You didn’t have to be poetic to be able to discern the way his eyes communicated his most solemn feelings in spite of trying to show otherwise. 
He must have been tired. Being caught up in your back-and-forths with your ex-husband, having to put up with your pretentious co-parenting situation, and the never ending need to keep an open mind about your situation with the same man who had ruined you. When your heart was in pieces, wasn’t he the one who tried to fix it? Wasn’t he the one who remained by your side during your darkest times? 
Whether that may be true, whether he truly ever loved you, you could recognize the stark difference of the Toji that genuinely cared for you to the Toji that was only actively trying to be there for you. What had changed him all of a sudden? 
“Toji, you drank a little too much.” A weary sigh escaped your lips, pulling all your might to drag your fiancé to lie comfortably in your shared bed later that night. At least, on the way to the hotel room, you had his bodyguards to thank for. They were there to haul him while he was in his drunken stupor, letting you lead the way, and dumping him carefully to his bed because there was no way you would be able to carry such a muscular man all by yourself. Now that you were alone with him, you decided to care for him the same way you used to do when Gojou was coming home drunk at night. Starting with his shoes that you took off, his shirt that you unbuttoned, his pants that you unzipped. “Come on, love. I’ll get you changed.”
The verdant hues of his eyes weren’t present. They were hiding behind his lids, refusing to meet your gaze. But if anything, he did open his mouth to speak, “...You. You wanna know a secret?” 
Drunken words are sober thoughts, you reminded yourself. Of the numerous times Satoru had gotten drunk during the early stages of your marriage, it was how you found out that deep inside him, he did care for you. That in spite of his ill-tempered exterior, he was a man deprived of parental love and support. What would be the case for Toji, then? 
“Yeah?” You waited for his answer, slipping his shirt off and revealing his toned body. 
The scar on his mouth moved when he displayed a mirthless smile. He was as drunk as an alcoholic would be. “I don’t… think… I can love you the same way I loved my first wife.” 
Your heart paused. In fact, every heartbeat became heavy. You knew how he felt, but didn’t expect him to say that out loud. “I-Is that so…?”
“Absolutely,” he mumbled, chuckling inaudibly. He was at a point where he was too far gone to realize the magnitude of the words he was saying to you. “Even if you try your best, she was everything I wanted in life and the only woman I could ever offer my heart to. She’s irreplaceable, and I don’t feel guilty about it... because I know you’re still into Satoru, too.”
“That’s…” You held your breath, holding back the sudden tears that formed in your eyes. “That’s not true.” 
Toji wasn’t done yet, however. He still went on with his drunken speech like he was finally pouring out raw, yet hurtful words out of the bottle. “Who knows? You would’ve had him touch you back in New York if you didn’t have me. You would’ve had him impregnate you, have his second child with you, and guess what? He still won’t be loyal to you.”
The pain in your heart increased tenfold. Everything went still and every minute felt like a stab to your soul. Should you say something? Should you get angry at him? No, no you couldn’t. Your chest was tightening and you knew it was smart not to let such negative emotions overpower you. His words were just a little difficult to grasp because Toji never in his life had been callous with his words to you. The tears that fell from your eyes were from the betrayal that you felt after hearing the cruel words he had uttered. And yet, you tried to hold on to that thin string of hope that Toji’s words didn’t come from a place of truth. 
“That’s enough, Toji. Go to sleep.” You pulled away, swallowing the bitter taste of weakness in your voice. 
He hummed, unaware of the pain he had put you through. “The more I look at you, the more I realize how much I actually don’t want to spend my whole life with you,” he admitted, with little to no regard for your current feelings, “I can’t fill this emptiness by being with another empty soul. And if there’s one thing I’m most grateful for, it’s that I let you run away that day before I fulfilled my vows with you—”
“Enough!” You shot up from bed and wiped the flood of tears on your eyes. “Enough! I’ve heard everything you wanted me to hear, okay?! Enough!” you raised your voice in despair, almost begging for him to stop tearing your heart asunder. “I get it! I fucking get it… so enough. Please, Toji.” 
Drunken words are sober thoughts.
A drunk mind speaks a sober heart.
Alcohol is a truth serum. 
The revelation of Toji’s true feelings that night was a reminder to you that he was just like any other man. That you should have never put him in such a high regard, thinking that he would be the prince charming that would save the poor damsel in distress. Why? What would he benefit from someone like you? You only deluded yourself into thinking that a man like him would take a single mother so seriously. You were only meant to be a placeholder for his dead wife after all. 
A placeholder, certainly. Not even deserving to have the title of a wife.
——
There was a huge contrast between being with you and Sachiro in New York vs being with Akemi and Sachiro in Osaka. The difference? There was no awkward air between Akemi and him. They were free to do things as they will—no restrictions, no certain do’s and don’ts. They were happy to have each other’s company, minus the guilt nor the unease of being by each other’s side. If anything, Satoru bitterly assumed that you were having the time of your life in Miami with Toji. You were so keen to see the man back there before parting ways with your ex-husband and son like you were simply discarding them to the side. 
If so be it, then fine. Satoru had all the right to have his son all to himself while you were gone. Besides, Akemi was just one call away and she was everything he could ever ask for. She cared for Sachiro as if she was his own mother and Satoru couldn’t be more grateful that he didn’t need to work on building a bond between her and his son. 
In fact, Akemi very much knew how to win Sachiro’s heart. As they took his adorable son to Universal Studios that day, she was nothing short of a caring mother. She had acted as a guardian to his son throughout the rides, letting the toddler enjoy his time at all the wonderful attractions that the theme park had to offer. Not once did his son cry too, so that only meant that they were doing a great job at taking care of him. 
Of course, it was a different story in the afternoon. After having spent all of his energy during the day, Sachiro had become tired and hungry by dinner time. But he wasn’t such a difficult kid to tend to, so Satoru was proud that his son still wasn’t throwing a tantrum even after a whole day of not having you around. 
“We’re gonna get Sachi fried chicken,” he enticed the pouting toddler, kissing his forehead while Akemi carried him in her arms. “Is that what you want?” 
Sachiro nodded and wrapped his little arms around his auntie’s neck. “Chicken, dada.”
Akemi smiled at the child’s gesture, tempting her to also place a kiss on his cheek. “You’re so cute and well-behaved, Sachi.” 
“—Satoru?” 
At the familiar voice, all three of them turned to the woman standing behind like a deer caught in the headlines. She was tall for a woman, slender, and had long, auburn hair, rosy cheeks, and ivory skin. Next to her was a tattooed man with salmon pink hair, a piercing on his ear, and a very defensive stance. Ah… How timely. 
Sera and Sukuna. 
Satoru wasn’t sure if he should openly greet them, after all, they weren’t acquaintances. And it was only recent that he got his memories back, triggered by Sera's presence at the expo. Other than that, he had no business with the two of them. Sukuna wasn’t a business partner of his, so him and Satoru had no formal connection towards each other. As for Sera, she might be his ex-girlfriend, but they didn’t exactly have the healthiest relationship to begin with, so…
“Of all the places,” she mumbled, almost gaping at the sight of him. Her eyes then trailed off to Akemi and Sachiro, with which her expressions shifted to guilt. Did she recognize his son? Did she remember the horrible attempt she did to harm his child during his ex-wife’s pregnancy? The memory was flooding Satoru’s brain like a tsunami. Yeah, in that case, Sera should definitely be filled with guilt. She tried to kill this harmless child. 
He cleared his throat, now becoming protective over his son at the presence of his ex. “We gotta go—”
“I guess it’s true,” Sera spoke again, this time redirecting her attention to Akemi. “The rumors, I mean. It’s all just surprising to me considering how obsessive Satoru was to Y/N.” She paused, seemingly wanting to comment at her ex-boyfriend’s current relationship in a mocking way. She kept her eyes on Akemi only, while Satoru was left wondering why Sera was acting hostile towards her. What was her deal now? She wasn't in the position to be acting all entitled to Gojou anymore, but here she was, talking to Akemi like she had met her before. “Did you know? He sacrificed everything for her. No one else made him beg on his knees the same way Y/N did.”
He couldn’t even tell how Akemi felt while Sera was clearly taunting her with her words, but she still managed to smile and excuse herself, keeping Sachiro away from an environment that should only be between adults. It was ridiculous, surely. What was Sera thinking trying to subject his son around that kind of hostility? Balling his fists, Satoru turned to Sukuna and spoke to him man-to-man. “You’d better keep your woman entertained so she’ll stop meddling into other people’s business.” 
Sukuna, however, found the situation equally humorous. “Don’t worry. We both are entertained.” 
Making a spectacle of Satoru’s personal life? No wonder they ended up together. They were both pieces of shit. 
Before Satoru turned on his heels to follow Akemi, Sera still had one last thing to say to him. This time, she was more calm and less malicious—her eyes following Akemi’s trail before looking back at him, “Satoru, if you have truly grown as a man, you won’t do this to Y/N.”
——
Sachiro was fast asleep when they returned to the Gojou clan's vacation home. 
Meanwhile, since the night was young for the two adults in that house, Akemi and Satoru shared a passionate session in the living room downstairs, letting her ride him as he placed soft kisses on her collarbone. They tried to keep quiet, obviously, and all the lights were turned off, leaving only the moonlight illuminating their view. After a few more minutes into their lovemaking, they eventually met their climax and tried to catch each other’s breath, embracing her in his arms as she fell limp against him. 
“Satoru, I missed you a lot while you were gone.” 
“...Same.” 
Silence engulfed them for some time until she let out an exasperated sigh. It was clear in her facial expressions alone that she was pondering about the whole scene with Sera earlier. “That girl earlier, Sera, she—”
“Don’t mind her.” Gojou closed his eyes and leaned his head against the backrest. He knew he had to clear things up straightforwardly, leaving no room for any misunderstandings. “She just loves riling people up. It’s ironic she’s coming at Y/N’s defense now like she didn’t torment her back then. She’s not worth paying attention to.” 
“Okay.” Akemi pulled away, cupping his face and stroking his cheek. She also offered him an angelic smile while doing so. “But you don’t feel that way anymore, right? For Y/N?”
Satoru took a deep breath, but steadied the movements of his chest. He felt defensive all of a sudden. “No.” 
Her smile grew more relaxed as she pressed a light peck on his lips. “Right.” And for a while, they both stayed silent. His thoughts ran straight to you, while hers was quite on a different route. “Earlier when I put Sachiro to bed, he called me his mama.” 
His eyes widened. “Oh… he did?”
She answered with a nod. “I don’t know if he’s just half asleep calling for his real mommy, but… At that moment, it made me realize how much I want to have my own,” she hinted at him, wistfully staring at his blue eyes with her shining ones, “with you.”
——
You didn’t take the flight back to Tokyo. 
What you took was an immediate flight straight to Osaka where you knew your son and your ex-husband would be. You weren’t sure if it was due to the height of your emotions, but you surely let your impulse win the best of you this time. 
You just wanted to escape. It was for the first time in your life where you were dying to set yourself free from Toji’s presence, the very same person who you once likened to a buoy in an open sea. Now he was no longer that. He was far from that. He was an anchor pulling you down at the deepest part of the ocean. Needless to say, the pain was still fresh from your heart when you took the earliest flight back home after his drunken confession to you. 
Despite the many missed calls and texts and emails he had sent you, none of them were returned. None of them were seen, or read, or had been replied to. 
All you wanted to do was get to your son. Your son. Your only comfort from all the painful things that the world has thrown at you. If not for Sachiro, you would have long ended yourself. But because he was born in this world, because he relied on his mother for love and guidance, you had to be strong and you had to seek the comfort in your heart from him. 
They could all turn their backs on you, but never will your son do. 
And so, after a few back-and-forth emails with Miwa to confirm the address of Satoru’s residence in Osaka, you ignored the jetlag that was hitting your body and traveled straight to his place without a wink of decent sleep. Sachiro. Sachiro was all you ever thought of when you asked your driver to drop you off the park nearby the Gojou clan's residence as soon as you spotted your son's mop of white hair, him running across the small bridge and pointing towards a fish in the pond. Your son was happily calling all the fishes, gushing about them to Satoru who stood next to him. 
You didn’t even care at how you looked during that moment. You just wanted to get to your son and embrace him in your arms. He had been away from you for way too long and you had already grown pale and sick from the separation anxiety that engulfed your heart and mind. 
You had to have your son. You had to hold him.
“Sachi!” you called out, a smile present on your face as you made your desperate way towards the bridge. Your son looked at you the moment he had heard your voice, and was already skipping towards you with a bright smile on his face. “My baby!” 
Satoru’s face, on the other hand, turned pallid. His eyes were full of surprise, unable to believe that you were actually right in front of him. It was like he had seen a ghost. No, worse than a ghost. Why? Did he not expect you to come when he had let Miwa send the address to you? Were you not welcome to visit your own son? 
“Mamaaa!” Sachiro hugged you tightly, allowing you to attack his cute face with kisses all over.  
“Mommy missed you so much, my baby.” You could almost cry. As young as he was, he had no idea how much comfort he was bringing into your heart. Just to be able to see him, hold him, kiss him was enough for you to feel complete again. It was at your brokenness did you realize how much Sachiro could fix you whole.
“Y/N, I thought you…” Satoru paused, confusion seemed to be settling on his features as you looked up at him. “You’re supposed to be back by Monday.” 
For a moment, you were reminded of the reason you came home earlier than intended and it stung your heart to think about. “Change of plans.” 
A small scoff left his lips. “Don’t tell me you left Toji back there.”
I did, you wanted to say. Satoru had no single idea how true his words were, but that was none of his business and you had no plans of confiding in him about what had happened. You may be angry with Toji now, but you still respected him enough not to do terrible things behind his back. 
“I had to see my son,” you lied, although it wasn’t exactly one, and got up while holding your toddler’s hand. “Are you ready to go home with mommy, Sachi?” 
Reluctance clouded your son’s face, and he became more resolute at shaking his head the moment a woman’s voice called for him from afar. A woman, a very, painfully familiar woman came into view a few meters away from you. Standing there was your best friend, Akemi Hirai, looking at you with wide, mortified eyes as soon as she saw your presence. 
And in a snap, Sachiro ran to her. Your son ran straight to her, joyfully and excitedly as if she was his real mother. 
How many more heartbreaks do you have to go through? 
How many more tears do you have to hold back? 
“I…” Your hands were shaking. Your entire body was on the verge of breaking down. All this time, your son had been in this vacation home living like a happy little family with your ex-husband and best friend. 
Now, he even refused to go home with you. 
Gojou scanned through the look on your eyes as though he was reading your emotions, but you showed none of it. Not a single emotion could be seen on your face. Not an ounce of pain shown, despite seeing how your son immediately forgot about you and headed straight to another woman. How excited he was to spend more time with his dad and his new girlfriend. How, much to your discomfort, he refused to go back to Tokyo with you. You saw the future family Sachiro was about to have without you in the picture, and damn did it hit you like a truck. 
Why, why did everyone in your life choose others before you? 
“I’m sorry. I’ll bring him to your house Monday morning,” said your ex-husband in a soft, delicate voice, almost as if he was being careful with you. “We’ll take care of him.” 
You could simply nod, avoiding eye-contact with anyone in the vicinity except for Satoru. “Okay...” you struggled with words. Your entire body was shaking. The last thing you wanted was to sound like a selfish mother, but frankly, you were about to self-destruct. “Just keep him happy… that's all I ask.” 
Behind your mask of indifference, Satoru knew what right words had to be said. You needed reassurance, and that was exactly what he gave you. “I won’t ever take him away from you, Y/N. I promise.” 
You watched them walk away, leaving you alone with a look of sympathy that you didn’t need. Sympathy that you despised having received. This should serve as a wake up call to you that no one in this world would ever love you. That even your own child would, one day, abandon you. 
As tears fell from your eyes, you felt a certain pang on your chest that hurt worse than every other pain combined. “You know you’re not so good with promises, Satoru.” 
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harrysfolklore · 3 months
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Tom meeting reader at an event and he’s just flirting the whole night and ends up getting her number
i watched the golden globes and got inspired to write this! i hope you like it <3
MASTERLIST | MY PATREON
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If there was an award for "most nervous person in attendance" at the Golden Globes, you'd have won it by now.
Award shows never failed to make your stomach feel in knots the entire time, specially when you were nominated, like tonight.
The Great had been a huge breakout role, a period drama that had captivated audiences and critics. Now, you stood among the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes, and you could feel your heart pounding as the moment of your category being announced approached.
"Love, are you okay?" you heard a voice calling for you, turning your head you realized that it was Dua (yes, the Dua Lipa) who was sitting next to you.
"Just a bit nervous," you told her with a small smile, "I think I'll head backstage for a minute, I need a breather."
She assured you with another smile and you made your way backstage, a commercial break started just on cue.
You had rehearsed your acceptance speech a dozen times in case you won, and also had a pep talk ready in case you didn't, yet the nerves persisted. You knew you were competing against some big names, and whatever the result people online would have something to say.
Your train of thought was interrupted by your body colliding with someone, almost dropping your clutch in the process.
"Whoa there, careful," a voice chuckled, catching your arm.
"Sorry, I didn't see where I was going," you said, your cheeks flushing from embarrassment, of course you'd run into someone in classic romcom cliche style.
"No harm done. You alright?" he grinned and you recognized him, it was the man who had been flooding your Tiktok for you page for the past month, Tom Blyth, "I'm Tom, by the way."
"Nice to meet you, I'm YN," you smiled back, "And yeah, I'm okay. Just a bit nervous about my category. Oh you're presenting it, aren't you?"
"I'll have the privilege, yes," his charm effortlessly showed, "And just so you know, I'm rooting for you. You were phenomenal in The Great, one of my favorite shows I watched last year."
Your nerves seemed to ease a bit, his presence and charm making you relax. There was something about him that felt comforting, even though it was your first time meeting him.
"Thank you, that's really nice," you smiled at him, "But I don't want to get too confident, the other nominees are just as great."
"Honestly, I'd bet my hat you're taking that Golden Globe home tonight."
Tom squeezed your arm gently and you smiled again, and before another word could be exchanged, a crew member's voice echoed through the backstage area announcing that the show was back from commercial break in 30 seconds.
"Well, looks like it's showtime" Tom glanced towards the exit, then back at you. "Knock 'em dead out there, YN. You got this."
"We'll see."
With a final wink sent your way, you parted ways. You returned to your seat and tried to enjoy the ceremony as much as you could, your nerves still in the back of your head but your interaction with Tom making you feel more at ease now.
"And now, presenting the award for Female Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy, please welcome The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes star, Tom Blyth!"
You heard the host say and you knew t was time, and once again a wave of nerves and uncertainty filled your body.
The crowd erupted in applause as Tom stepped onto the stage, his confidence and charm shinning through.
"Good evening, everyone. It's an honor to be here tonight among such incredible talents," Tom smiled, "Here are the nominees for Female Actor in a Television Series, Musical or Comedy."
A video played showing all the nominees but you felt like your mind was numb, you didn't even realize it had ended until Tom's voice was heard again.
"And the Golden Globe goes to," he paused for suspense, and you could see a small smirk making its way to his face as he read the name, "YN!"
Time seemed to freeze, you tried to process everything as you heard the applause from the crowd and those around you congratulating you and before you knew it, you were on stage taking the award from Tom's hands and giving him a quick hug.
"I told you." He quietly whispered in your ear and gave you a wink, a moment that the cameras had caught.
You gave your speech, thanking your cast mates, directors, family, friends and the rest of the nominees. Once you were done you headed backstage with a proud smile and your newest award in hand.
The night went on and you definitely enjoyed every minute of it, mingling with other actors and thanking everyone who approached to congratulate you.
Once the ceremony wrapped up, you headed to the after party, you were sipping on a fruity drink by the bar when you felt a presence behind you.
"Hey, can I steal a moment with the newest Golden Globe winner?"
You turned around noticing it was Tom, he had changed to a different suit and you couldn't help but think that he looked really handsome.
"Sure, what do you need, president Snow?" you laughed, feeling a newfound confidence around him.
"How about your number? I'd hate to lose touch with Hollywood's latest sensation." Tom flashed his charming smile again, taking you by surprise and making your entire body feel giddy.
"Smooth, Blyth. Very smooth." Blushing furiously, you playfully rolled your eyes.
"Well, when you really really want something, smooth comes naturally."
And just like that, after winning a major award for your career and feeling on top of the world, you found herself exchanging numbers with Tom Blyth, excited to see where that would take you.
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