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“You have to carry the fire."
I don't know how to."
Yes, you do."
Is the fire real? The fire?"
Yes it is."
Where is it? I don't know where it is."
Yes you do. It's inside you. It always was there. I can see it.”
If there ever was a buried treasure, I've just found it. A box...of drawings from my early teens. I regret that all of my earlier childish drawings and paintings were lost in the fire, but I'm so lucky to have these...
This is The Knight, drawn in bed in 1994, so that would be...15? I remember being quite pleased with the foreshortening on the foot, and more interestingly, I can see that my penchant for prominent, bumped noses was very much alive even then. Oh my goodness, his eyebrow! His flipping eyebrow! That's exactly how I draw them now! I think Biscuits has that eyebrow! I honestly can't believe it...it was all there, even then!
And finally, I had NO idea that I signed my name this way in 19-bloody-94. I'm shaking. Because, until this moment, I thought that, at that age, I was a sad and stupid embryo with so little relation to who I am now (at least my human self; I know my spiritual true self has always been and will always be the same self). But no. No. I was fully cooked. Baked. There has been no "rebirth," "regeneration," or "reinvention." Everything was there.
adult rhaenyra is so difficult for me bc like. for example. i am NOT a hater of the episode ten bridge scene, i think having rhaenyra confront an easier path and the ghost of alicent and chose to reject them is absolutely integral to the choices she’ll make going forward. and i can explain like. most if not all of her behavior and attitude in that episode. BUT it is wild to me that they cannot seem to decide if rhaenyra is a budding strategic leader who understands how to manipulate her own image/mythos to get the things she wants while preparing for the future (see her entire marriage to daemon) or if she’s A Victim Of Misogyny who is pushed into things outside of her control. and in reality it is very much BOTH and it’’s complicated, but it doesn’t actually come across like that onscreen, it just reads like the writer’s don’t have a clear understanding or care for her. i will think about this more on a rewatch but. i love her so much and i’m just irritated how rhaenyra in the back-half of the season is missing so much interiority, unless you love her and read between the lines.