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chaoticbardlady99 · 4 months

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Lethal Woman: Chapter 8 (Astarion x GN! Reader)

Synopsis: You and Astarion have many misadventures while going back through the Blighted Village. Someone from your past makes a gruesome reappearance and reveals they are hunting Astarion. You and Astarion inadvertently confess to each other that there is, in fact, something between the two of you.

CW: Violence, gore, fighting, alcohol, Gnome racism (I don’t hate Gnomes I promise- just Dwarves because the All Hammer killed one of my favorite DND characters), torture, mentions of emotional, psychological, and physical abuse.

*you know the drill- not my pic. HMU if it’s yours so I can give credit!

I already have Chapter 9 ready so I may be posting that today and then chapter 10 soon after 🙈🙈🙈

Likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated! Thank you for everyone who has been reading my little passion project!

Tracing your steps back through the blighted village was more eventful than any of you anticipated.

For one- you and Astarion stumbled upon an Ogre and Bug Bear couple (literally) bumping uglies. Astarion had insisted that he open it and you were really hoping it wasn’t what you thought it was. Considering your luck- you weren’t surprised they were fucking, but then they tried to kill you. So you had to ruin the party while the rest of your companions explored the other abandoned buildings while you and Astarion were trying to avoid being covered in various bodily fluids.

Second, Karlach informs you she befriended three massive ogres and they said they’ll send their aid when you “toot this little horn thing”. Then she gave you the news that they don’t promise NOT to eat you. You quickly convinced her to give it to you- you love your tiefling kindred spirit, but her impulse control is terrible sometimes.

Arguably the third incident may be the worst. Karlach had rejoined the other group when Wyll called her over so it was just the two of you again. You had attempted to help a deep Gnome by killing the Goblins that were terrorizing him- much to Astarion’s dismay.

Well, when the Gnome told you to stop the damn thing- you went inside thinking it would be one lever. It was TWO and they said what they each did IN COMMON. YOU CAN’T READ COMMON! And when you asked Astarion to pull the right lever- he had a mischievous look in his eyes.

“Consider the right level pulled, Darling.”

Needless to say, the only positive of that event was the hysterical cackling that erupted from your lover’s mouth as he fell to the ground- unable to contain himself until at least 10 minutes after the Gnome you promised to rescue became airborne and gained his Gnomeish wings. You had looked at Astarion and leered at him playfully.

“You are so mean,” you said while castigating him, trying not to let your love of his genuine laughter get in the way of basic morals, “that is not what I asked you to do at all!”

You are so glad no one else was around for that. Wyll would have stroked out.

“Oh Darling,” he said, wiping the tears from his eyes, “I never claimed not to be and next time- maybe be more specific instead of saying ‘can you pull the right lever?’’”

You sighed while pinching the bridge of your nose, now struggling to contain your laughter. Like the absolute shit he is- he found a loophole.

“Well as long as you aren’t tying me up to a windmill and flinging me into the heavens-“

You didn’t even get to end your sentence because Astarion began crying and laughing again.

Within an hour of the impromptu funeral, your situationship and the interests of the others in the group had been tested when you, Gale, Astarion, and Lae’zel found the Necromancy of Thay. You had accidentally stumbled across the room while searching the caverns underneath the Blighted Village and finding a strange purple amethyst. The book had immediately taken to it and you don’t know what Astarion had seen from the book, but he refused to back down and hand it to Gale.

“No!” Astarion says indignantly, “you aren’t eating this one!”

“I need it to stabilize-“

“I could give a rat’s ass about how stable your stupid chest orb is,” Astarion says while glaring, “this is far too special for the likes of you to consume.”

“It’s obviously a very powerful tome. It would be beneficial for helping my condition,” Gale huffs and then they both look at you.

Oh no.

“State your case?” You say awkwardly, “unbiasedly?”

They both scowl and Astarion pouts at you, but the look in his eyes tells you he understands to some extent that you at least have to let both parties argue their side. You did have a full blown melt down one of the first nights of the journey over not being able to make everyone happy. Astarion rarely put up a fight with you unless it was important to him. You do this with everyone, not just them, but you worry your relationship with Astarion will be seen as the influencing factor.

Gale simply stated that it had powerful magic that he would like to consume. You did mention that you have multiple items for him in your pocket at any given time, but he is still insistent.

Then Astarion makes his case and it’s actually very difficult to argue with it. It’s a book of Necromancy and he is undead. What if the book had a cure for his condition? Or at least a way to diminish the side effects? The desperation in his voice had somehow cracked Gale’s resolve- you didn’t even have to make a decision.

“Fineeeeeeeee,” Gale drawls, “have the damn book- you bastard.”

Astarion looks far too pleased with himself.

Asshole, you think with a smile.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

You set up camp at your previous campsite near the Grove so that you can begin your journey into the Underdark.

The sun has already set and the moon shines brightly in the sky. You aren’t ready to go underground yet. You always miss the moon and stars.

You are sitting by the nearby river- enjoying the sounds of the roaring river with Karlach as the two of you try to sort out her love life.

“Soooo,” you raise your eyebrows at her, “is it going to be Wyll, Damon, or Shadowheart?”

“Ughhhh,” Karlach tips over and pretends to writhe in pain in the grass, “having choices sucks!!”

“Oh come on K,” you say teasingly, “you must have someone you are specifically gravitating towards.”

Karlach taps her chin and pretends to think. After a minute- she just looks at you and shrugs.

“I’ve got nothing.”

“Nothing? You spend so much time with Shadowheart and Wyll! Dammon I’d maybe understand being out of the running but what the hell man!”

“I know, I know,” Karlach sighs, “I mean you had Gale and Halsin up your ass- why Astarion?”

You are almost frozen by her question. Why does everyone but you notice when people fancy you?

Why did you choose Astarion? You know the answer, but you also don’t know how to phrase it without sounding like an emotionally clingy weirdo.

“Um well,” you cough awkwardly, “I guess I just really like who he is as a person. I think he’s really funny, intelligent, and whether he wants to admit it or not- he is kind, in his own way.”

You neglect to tell Karlach about the Gnome. You have a feeling she won’t love that whole mess.

“The first night we hung out and just talked was… it was like when I met Tessa for the first time. It was an instant- oh no I’d do anything for this person.”

You hug your knees and put your chin on them. You scrunch up your face and avoid her face.

“You look rather upset for someone who is horribly smitten.”

“I’m not upset- it’s just weird… feeling this way again,” you sigh heavily, “I really am a walking death trap though-specifically where lovers go to die. I probably should end it, right? To keep him safe?”

“I would let him make that decision if you are so worried about it,” Karlach waves her hands at you dismissively, “you like him-I believe he likes you. Fangs can make his own choices- we all know the risk of traveling with you as you know the risk of traveling with us.”

“That’s a good point.”

“Of course it is! I’m a genius!”

You roll your eyes, “So who’s it gonna be Karlach?”

“DAMMIT!”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The trek back to camp isn’t a long one, but you are ready to be in- well- a bed roll?

Astarion has found every excuse in the book to have you come and stay in his tent with him- except for just flat out asking you. It makes you quite giddy regardless.

One night he had even resorted to using the excuse that he needed your assistance and guidance in sharpening his throwing knives. You know what didn’t happen? Sharpening throwing knives.

The two of you had ended up tangled in each other’s embrace and talking until you eventually fell asleep. You woke up the next morning (entirely too early, the sun was barely rising) with him curled around you sleeping. You decided to go back to sleep- you weren’t ready to start your day. You’d rather stay here with Astarion.

You walk back to camp with a slight skip in your step- wondering if Astarion will want you to sleep in his tent with him again tonight. It had been a little less than a week since you had begun backtracking to the Underdark entrance and he had sought you out every night. You really REALLY hope he continues this trend.

Karlach is talking to you about the pros and cons of each partner- still entirely undecided- when you both hear a bone chilling cackle come from a tree in front of you. You both stop in your tracks immediately- Karlach reaches for the small blade she brought with her and you prepare your hidden daggers.

“Well if it isn’t good ole Corpse Eyes,” the mysterious woman says, “we thought you’d finally disappeared for good. Suppose we were wrong.”

You recognize the voice immediately as your fellow guild mate- Rinara. The two of you couldn’t stand each other. She wanted Dahlia to lavish her in all the attention and training she gave you- you just wanted to be left the fuck alone.

Rinara felt like you were a, “selfish fucking brat,” and had taken to calling you ‘Corpse Eyes’ because you had been entirely empty, rigid, and lifeless up until the last year. You were no better than a walking, mindless zombie to her.

Rinara steps around the corner and it takes every last bit of restraint you have not to let the horror show on your face.

Rinara was once a beautiful, almond haired half High Elf with a strong, healthy body. Now? Her skin is the color of Ash, her eyes are bloodlust red, her hair is coming out in clumps on her head, and her skin is peeling off like she has been sitting in an acid bath for a while now. Her left cheek is completely gone- revealing her teeth and gums.

“I was initially only here for the Spawn,” you feel your blood freeze as she smiles at you- all teeth and no light in her eyes, “but if Dahlia also had you…”

“You need to back the fuck off Rinara or-“

“Or what!? You’ll kill me?” She yells out hysterically, “I’m already fucking dead! You disappeared and so they sent fucking Dahlia to do your contract- a request from Obhark himself for the assassination of Lord Cazador Szarr.

“The woman struck a fucking deal with him- she’ll help get his prodigal son home and she’ll supply him with Deathbringers if she’ll be made his consort when he completes the ritual.

“I may not be able to control them,” she snarls, “but I do know that none of this would have happened if you hadn’t fucked off. This was supposed to be you! You are the one who should be tortured and violated! Not me! Not any of us!”

Huh, so your contract was to kill Cazador and because a Mindflayer kidnapped you- Dahlia took the contract and has gone rogue. How very convenient. This certainly tracks with the ridiculousness of the other circumstances you are dealing with. If it’s not devils, then it’s the Gith. If it’s not the gith- it’s some sadistic vampire. There is no winning in this group. Halsin is the only one that doesn’t seem to have an issue yet, but you are waiting for the other shoe to drop on that one.

That’s not important right now- knowing what the ritual is? That would be very valuable. You and Astarion have tried to figure out what the carvings into his back are and what they represent. You can read infernal so you know what it says, but it doesn’t make total sense.

Hoyc inferiu non iurare per igneu

Naec virba loquor

Eoai mundo muoat

This soul swears no oath by fire

Nor words does he speak

In the realm of death

You both has assumed it was just a way to prevent him from making contracts with devils to be free of Cazador, but now knowing there is a ‘ritual’ happening- you wonder if it’s an integral part of the ritual, the scars. If they are, then that means you are going to be doing some heavy duty bodyguard work- if Obarhk himself had requested it, then it must mean it’s not good.

Which also doesn’t surprise you given the circumstances.

“What ritual,” you say through clenched teeth.

Her smile is unsettling, “It’s a secret- all I know is that it’s going to make Master very very powerful.”

She looks at you with so much pain and anger. You are Dahlia’s favorite chew toy- you had been keeping her out of harm's way (unintentionally) this whole time and now that she has Dahlia’s attention- she seems to realize now why you didn’t want it in the first place.

Rinara looks borderline feral- you can see it now. Dahlia evidently doesn’t know how to complete the ritual or she used a different one entirely- that’s why Rinara is somewhere between a Deathbringer and a skeleton in the making. You bite back the bile as you watch a piece of her flesh roll off of her arms onto the ground below.

“She tricked all of us- requested every Assassins’ aid that was not a Deathbringer. Told us Obarkh is going to pick one of us for a special project based on our ‘performance,” she spits at the ground, “then she turned us into these things- only ten out of the hundred of us that went survived. Cazador’s blood and Dahlia’s black magic flows through my veins and I survived to tell the tale- I am rotting away. I wish I died.

“And now? I’m going to have a feast- at least I can enjoy one last full meal before I disappear completely,” she bares her canines at you, “I wonder how Half Drow tastes- maybe I should ask those pigs that ate your bitch mother.”

You don’t even have time to reply before Rinara is lunging at you and Karlach. You both deftly dodge the display of all consuming rage that Rinara throws into her movement.

Rinara has always been too blood thirsty to think logically during a fight and her recent transformation seems to have only made it worse- except now she’s stronger so she may be able to actually get some damage in- doubtful, but possible.

You and Karlach breakthrough the trees and you are barrelling towards camp. You are well-versed in unarmed hand to hand combat, but you can’t leave your life up to chance. You don’t know what Dahlia did to her, but it’s becoming clearer that it was not a Deathbringer ceremony that was performed. Her breathing behind you is ragged and rattling- the smell of her skin taints the air you breathe. She is here specifically for Astarion- you can’t afford to take any risk that could keep Rinara alive.

Everyone looks at you both in alarm as you grab your daggers from outside Lae’zel’s tent (she had offered to sharpen them and basically refused to let you say no). Karlach grabs her axe and yells frantically about some zombie woman who wants Astarion, but hates you and now she wants to consume you before taking Astarion back to Cazador. Oh and Dahlia is in on it too because apparently your disappearance had really caused some issues with a contract regarding killing the Vampire Lord.

You barely see the footsteps of the invisible person running up to you in time to dodge and you hear the scream of frustration rip through the air.

You make a wild guess regarding her location and throw a knife while she screams and cusses at you.

“I’ve been waiting to rip you piece by FUCKING piece since I met -“ she is cut off by a screech and revealing herself to your companions.

You had most definitely hit her- your blade stuck in her left eyeball. Rinara looks at you- significantly more pissed off than she was even a moment before-, rips out her eyeball using the throwing knife, discards it, and begins circling you.

Rinara is not bright and she lacks impulse control. She can remain in control for maybe only four or five minutes at a time- which would explain why hearing your voice is probably what set her off Astarion’s path. The chase bought you more time since Rinara loves a good hunt- you are almost positive you can break her down quickly and because she’ll be chasing a high, she’ll make stupid mistakes. Rinara also loves to talk and taunt her targets which infuriates you, but at least it’s a full proof trap for her.

“You don’t always need to be stronger than your opponents,” Dahlia says as she watches you get the shit kicked out of you by a hired mercenary, “you just need to be faster, smarter, and calm- let them dig their own grave.”

Your companions are clambering for their weapons and you send out a “don’t move” message telepathically. Astarion protests hit your brain like a wave- all you feel is fear. You tell him to trust you and you allow him to be privy to your thoughts and actions. You know exactly how quickly this will end after your next words and you don’t need her getting spooked.

“You know, Rinara, I’m not surprised Dahlia tricked you or that you were dense enough to drink Cazador’s blood- it certainly wouldn’t be the dumbest thing you’ve fallen for,” you smile at her, “I might actually feel sorry for you this time.”

You see your companions all staring at you as Rinara’s footsteps end just to the right of their line of sight. You can feel Astarion’s gaze burning into you and you have to focus hard on disconnecting. Embarrassment will not be helpful.

“What did you just say to me, you little wretch?”

“Oh sorry,” you clear your throat, “I SAID- I THINK YOU ARE REALLY REALLY FUCKING DUMB AND I’M NOT SURPRISED YOU GOT DOOPED.”

The sound of Astarion’s laughter fills your head- you fight to stop the smile that is threatening to cross your lips. The rage bristling off of her is so wonderful. You feel a dopamine rush over the way her teeth are chattering in anger, the way her eyes are paranoid and unfocused as she looks at you. You have gotten under her skin and now it’s your turn to be the predator.

“I’m going to enjoy bringing your skeleton back to Dahlia after I pick you clean,” she roars, “I’m going to enjoy watching that stupid Spawn finally fulfill his-“

“Do you ever shut up or ?” You ask, snorts and laughter coming from your companions, “I feel like I left that at a really good spot and we should just move forward or whatever?”

Oh the look of embarrassment, shame, and fury on her face- how you wish Lucia could have seen it. She could not stand Rinara and the way her face twists with the sour emotions is a wonderful sight to behold.

“I’ve changed my mind. I won’t eat you, I’ll just bring you back to Dahlia like the fucking disobedient thing you are! You” she spits, “are nothing, but a walking Corpse. You should have stayed dead- I liked you better that way. If Dahlia can do it once- I’m sure she’ll love doing it again. You’ll be tolerable and compliant soon enough.”

The cackle that leaves your lips surprises you.

“You always have been so fucking stupid, Rinara,” you hiss, “if you want Dahlia to love you so fucking bad you can have her. The price of her ‘love’ is hardly worth it- the woman is madder than that weird old guy next to brothel on 8th.”

“YOU ARE UNGRATEFUL!” Rinara screeches, “I WILL TEACH YOU A LESSON!”

You could not roll your eyes further back into your head. It should be easier to leave the Nightmasks. The idiocy is putting years on your immortal life.

“Doubtful, but you are welcome to try.”

Rinara lunges fast, but you are definitely faster. You imagine having intact skin helps. Rinara is hitting you with attack after attack and you just focus on dodging, getting in close for a quick hit, then back to dodging. She is the one dying, not you- let her do all the hard work.

Whatever spell Dahlia used did not promote Stamina or basic hygiene- unfortunately. Rinara is breathing hard and is already losing power in her hits.

This goes on for a couple minutes before Rinara does what she always does- lifting up her back foot ever so slightly so that she can extend her blade farther. You don’t know how many times you have to trip her for this mistake before she realizes she’s her own worst enemy.

You move out of the way and use her momentum- with a swift kick of your foot- Rinara went skidding across the dirt. Her blade is stuck in the ground near you almost perfectly upright. You walk over to it and you push it even further into the ground then stand directly in front of it, cutting off her line of sight to it.

“If you want your cheap ass sword back- come get it.”

It’s actually a very expensive sword and Rinara is very very defensive about it.

“YOU-“

Rinara doesn’t even allow herself to finish her sentence before she flings a massive bolt of lightning your way. Your companions are screaming as you run towards the lightning, but you know what you are doing. You dive just below the electric crackling in the air and roll back onto your feet. You watch as Rinara turns to you before she catches the blue bolt coming back towards her.

You didn’t always like to use your enemies weapons for their intended purposes, but when in need of a reflective surface- you can never go wrong with a sword.

Rinara goes flying towards the campfire- the smell of rotting burnt flesh fills your nose as she cries out in pain with every spark of lightning that jolts through her.

You take your time to walk back to the campfire, walking over with her sword in hand, and look through your pack- of course you left your Holy Water at home. At least you have wine- you pop it open and begin to drink. Rinara is still writhing on the ground and her flesh is even worse off than it was before. This really isn’t your favorite way to spend any evening- killing your formal frenemy because there is no rehabbing this version of her. It is all the worst of Rinara and then some.

You sigh heavily and walk over to her. You cock your head at her, leaning on her sword for support, and take another long sip of the wine. Rinara’s irritation is growing, but her body is practically in tatters now. She lashes out at you with clawed hands- you meet both of her wrists with her own sword- deftly cleaving them off her. The mortified scream that leaves Rinara’s mouth as she begins trying to back away from you. You smile at her with your vampiric stare- intensifying Rinara’s growing fear.

“Dahlia did a shit job training you. Didn’t she tell you the rules ? Use it and you lose it,” you take another swig.

“Hells Soldier!”

“Hey-“ you take an even bigger sip, “I’ve been waiting to take this one out back and put her out of her misery for five years. She’s obsessed with Dahlia of all fucking people and so she terrorizes me by interfering with my contracts! I will be enjoying my moment- thank you very much.”

“That’s not what I meant- you ‘use it, you lose it?’ That can’t possibly-“

You roll up your sleeves and the silence around the campfire is deafening as everyone stares- you should have probably not done that.

Blunt, deep lines around your wrist, old and faded into the skin. There are similar markings on your elbows right at your elbows.

“The reversal process involves blood magic and necromancy- if you were wondering. Oh and yes it does hurt, yes I have more, and no I won’t be talking about it.”

Rinara kicks you weakly- your shoulders slump. Is she serious right now? Consistency is key so off goes the foot. Rinara’s pained wailing echoes in the air.

One last giant swig and you feel less freaked out and embarrassed by your sudden onslaught of bravado. You hold out the bottle to Astarion who happily takes it and begins to drink from it- you can feel his eyes melting your skin and you are almost afraid to see the emotions in them.

You grab Rinara by the back of her collar and her wriggling barely stops you from being able to easily drag her along the forest floor all the way back to the river. Hopefully she’s close to the same concept as a vampire, but also Rinara can’t swim.

“Well my dumb friend,” you say with a snort, “this is where we part ways- permanently. I hope the fish like their dinner and you’ll stop talking so Goddamn much in fights during battles. This was way too much work for how fucking weak you are.”

Rinara is screaming and kicking. You let her go and walk about five feet in front of her- putting her between yourself and the river. You wave and smile like you are saying goodbye to a loved relative- followed with a middle finger.

You use a simple Push cantrip and watch with a sort of sick satisfaction as Rinara begins to burn up, steam coming up from the water as she is dragged away by the current.

“Well Roo, I would say that may be some of your finest work yet,” you say, giving yourself a pat on the back.

You turn around and see all of your companions. You suddenly feel ill and self-conscious. Wyll looks slightly horrified, Halsin is just unreadable, Karlach is giving you a thumbs up like it’s your first day of school, Shadowheart is nodding her head impressed, Gale is shocked, and Lae’zel is slowly clapping.

Astarion though? He’s looking at you with a mixture of gratitude, warmth, and pride. You try your best to avoid his gaze as you put your hand on your hip and lift an eyebrow at them. You might actually keel over from adoration if you look at him.

“What are you guys even doing? Good Gods you people are far too supportive and clingy,” you say trying to hide your smile and then look at Gale, “don’t you have something cooking?”

“SHIT!”

All of your companions turn around to leave, but Astarion begins to walk towards you and you feel like your heart might explode in your chest. You see Karlach celebrate behind him- giving you a thumbs up again and you shake your head at her.

You just fought a woman and barely broke a sweat, but the minute he even looks at you- you feel like your whole body is on fire. Strong hands, grab you by the hips and pull you into his chest before he then moves them to your face. Astarion cups your face in his hands and is looking in your eyes.

“You are a sight to behold, Darling,” he says breathlessly, “that was the most beautiful display of violence I’ve ever seen.”

“ I- uh,” you choke back the surprise, “just another day… on the job?”

“Oh well, let me thank you for your wonderful work then.”

“You don’t need to-“

Astarion presses his lips to yours and swallows up the words you were going to say. The kiss is rough, but slow and needy- hungry even. It makes you feel like he is yearning for you- worshiping you in a temple.

When you pull back for air, you see how his eyes are blown wide with lust and another emotion you can’t quite decipher- it’s positive, but also a little fearful.

“Stay with me?” He asks, his voice uncharacteristically shy, “in my tent?”

“Tonight?”

“Yes,” he pauses before saying quietly, “and every night after that too- if you want.”

You let a huge smile spread across your face and his nervous expression appears to melt away almost instantly. You step back from him and curtsy.

“I, a simple camp urchin, would be honored to stay in your tent with you, Lord Acunin,” you say teasingly.

Astarion rolls his eyes with a lopsided smile, but puts his arm out to you. You loop your arm through his as if you are two normal nobles courting each other.

“First we must feed you, my Lady,” Astarion states in an overly proper tone, you giggle and you see the corners of his mouth twitch further at the sound, “I must make sure my lover is well taken care of after all.”

You are hot from head to toe and Astarion absolutely has to notice. If he does, he doesn’t say anything, but you hope he hears how alive he makes your heart sound.

*************************************

“Never have I ever…” Gale says, “worked for a Devil.”

Astarion watches as Karlach and Wyll begrudgingly take a large sip of their choice of liquor. You are leaning your head on Astarion’s shoulder- the alcohol making you slightly more affectionate in public. Astarion would be lying if he said it didn’t give him a thrill to be this close to you- even if PDA might not be his thing.

“Never have I ever- been a vampire,” Karlach says slyly.

Both you and Astarion grumble- taking a shot.

“Never have I ever,” Shadowheart says, tapping her finger on her knee , “lit a building on fire.”

Every single one of you but Halsin takes a shot. Shadowheart giggles and then also takes a shot.

“Shadowheart,” Karlach says and looks at her with confusion, “you aren’t supposed to drink if you haven’t done it?”

“Oh no- I have,” Shadowheart slurs, “I just wanted another shot and couldn’t think of anything else.”

Karlach begins to chastise Shadowheart playfully- commenting on how she is already way too messed up and Shadowheart saying, “I am a CLERIC I can cure my own hangovers!”

Everybody chuckles and returns to the game- it’s Wyll’s turn. Wyll regards you and cocks an eyebrow.

“Hmmmmm…. Never have I ever killed a Liche.”

You snort and take a shot.

“NO!” Wyll exclaims, “I thought I had you that time.”

“Mhmmmmm,” you hum in acknowledgement, “I think I was- 15?”

Wyll is sitting on the edge of his seat- actually everyone is. Astarion watches you squirm in recognization that everyone wants to hear your story.

“Oh it was just a complete accident,” you say with a fake enthusiasm, “I was exploring a nearby temple during a contract and just happened to run into one.”

Everyone bought the story- Wyll comments that you have terrible luck which you laugh at. He has no idea.

Astarion already knows this story- Dahlia had dragged your halfway dead body all the way into an abandoned castle off the coast of the Sea of Stars, resurrected you, and then shackled your feet and hands together. She later hid the key for the shackles somewhere in the castle for you to find.

It was an exercise- a sadistic one. You had pissed her off the night before because you had refused to let you cut your hair. She had cut it all off, every last inch, after she had beaten you into submission by quite literally killing you. This was the second part of your punishment.

She told you that there is a Lich hiding in the castle and her expectations of you were high- you are not to receive even a single scratch and the Lich needed to be dead. The punishment for not meeting these expectations? You would go without eating for a week and you would be locked away in the basement- not allowed to leave or see Tessa. You killed the lich, but you were horrifically mauled in the process because you couldn’t find the key. It was a long week in that dark, cold, horrible basement. Dahlia had also hired Abdirak to reinforce how horribly you fucked up.

Astarion absentmindedly puts his hand on yours and gives it a reassuring squeeze- trying to disrupt the spiral you’re evidently about to go into. You look over at him and Astarion feels like he could melt. You look at him with so much gratitude and as if he is the most important person who has ever walked this earth. Gods he has really really fucked up his plan.

The game has continued to go on without the two of you and suddenly everyone is staring at you both.

“Did you both not hear the question?” Karlach snorts while wiggling her eyebrows.

You both look at each other and you laugh awkwardly before turning back to Karlach.

“Repeat?”

“Never have I ever felt romantically towards any form of vampire,” Wyll states, “Gale, Lae’zel, and Shadowheart have had their shots already- so now we are just waiting on you two.”

Astarion doesn’t even have to think about it- which could partially be because of how intoxicated he currently is- obviously he is taking a shot.

He pours some more alcohol in yours and his glasses- then looks at you. This is about when his drunk mind realizes that he is basically stating, “I like you, but do you like me?” With his actions and that there is still the possibility that you could reject him. He did fling a Gnome you were trying to save into the air today- not the most attractive thing a person can do. (It was kind of worth it though).

“Cheers?” He says with a smirk on his face- hoping his eyes don’t reflect how nervous he feels.

You squint your eyes at him playfully before clinking the glass, “Cheers.”

Karlach claps her hands excitedly and Wyll’s eyes are sparkling while he looks at her. Shadowheart also smiles widely at the display of support.

You and Astarion have been speculating who Karlach is going to end up with for days now- Dammon is still a possibility, but you both have decided that it’s least likely. Astarion thinks Shadowheart and you think it will be Wyll. There’s 100 gold on the line for whoever wins. If it ends up being Dammon though? Well you will both drink and commiserate together about how blind you had both been.

It’s your turn now and you look directly at Astarion, he isn’t sure how he feels about the mischievous glint in your eyes. Then you say your sentence out loud and he feels a laugh bubble up from his lungs.

“Never have I ever flung a Deep Gnome from a windmill.”

Astarion falls off the log- laughing just as hard as he had done earlier- as you regale the group with the story. Gods it had been such a wonderful experience- the look on your face had been priceless. He also silently appreciated that you were far more impressed with his loophole than upset about his actions.

The goodies of the group castigate him, but they are all laughing equally as hard as the both of you are. You paint a very vivid picture using hand gestures and words that Astarion has been teaching you in common to describe things. He relishes in how lovely and lively you are- Alcohol is such a wonderful thing. He can just enjoy you without that horrible nagging in his head that even being involved with you anymore is a bad idea.

When Astarion finally finishes laughing- he happily takes another shot.

#baldurs gate 3 #astarion #astarion x reader #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x you #bg3 spoilers #astarion romance #astarion x tav #bg3 #karlach #astarion ancunin #vampire #Halsin #Wyll #gale dekarios #gale of waterdeep

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hussyknee · 1 year

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do u really not see the difference btwn writing fanfic on the internet and buying a game whose storyline is actively being written by white supremacists and having the money go directly into the pocket of the most vocal & influential terf in the UK? that's not even touching all of the other racist and offensive bs in her series inc her antisemitism, appropriating first nations cultures, her asian racism, etc? i guess thats why you dont have 'antisemitics dni' on your blog

First, let me be clear – I do not give one single shit about Harry Potter. They are the best memories of my extremely shitty adolescence, I still read fanfic from time to time, but other than that, if I never hear the word "Harry Potter" again it will be too soon. I care about the fact that you clowns are

encouraging bullies and endangering mentally ill marginalized fans

leeching the air from leftist and queer discourse

fuelling a Western culture war that distracts from combating systemic transphobia

making suffering Black and brown communities, who mostly see white and Western trans people, think that trans people don't have any real problems beyond video games

Now, on to your ask:

I said never said not buying the game was the same as writing fanfic on the internet. I said that the furor over buying the game is leading to everyone who had anything to do with Harry Potter, including just writing fanfic, being bullied. I've had to unfollow so many people for reblogging posts attacking people for being in the *fandom*.

Asking people to refrain from doing something to prove that they care, especially demanding that they don't, has never in the history of activism worked. Black people have been speaking out against copaganda shows forever and STILL get harrassed. Indigenous people have been asking people to boycott Avatar and gotten nothing. Some people comply, but more do the thing simply out of contrarianism, and the entire issue becomes a culture war divided along political affiliation. People on the right go out of their way to do the thing, the people on the center and center-left won't really care, and people who identify as leftist divorce themselves even more from the rest of the left as being no better than the right, which eventually devastating results when it comes to actual elections and agitating for political change.

What works a lot better is harm reduction. Pirating is harm reduction, asking the HP fandom to offset JKR's fuckery by making their own merch, promoting indie games and donating to trans healthcare funds is harm reduction. People won't stand for being policed, but they like giving and also not paying for stuff with a clear conscience. You would have raised so much fucking money and promoted so many different things in all this time you've spent giving the game negative engagement clicks and keeping it trending on social media so long after its release.

You keep insisting that people shouldn't be fans because JKR equals her fandom with her own influence. This is called buying into the right-wing narrative. The woman is delusional (I can't think of a non-ableist word atm, and I honestly think that she's not all stable) and you're enabling her and her terf cult. We created the online HP fandom ourselves back in the aughts, before there was any merch, before movie rights were ever sold to WB, a full decade before her advertising machine ever woke up to the fact that an internet fandom existed. JKR has lost relevance for HP fans a long time ago; imagine the slap in the face for her if the fandom starts countering her bigotry by very prominently engaging in trans activism? The JKR terf cult in the HP fandom are a minority, like TERFs themselves (they're only so loud because the right-wing promotes the shit out of them). The vast majority of fans are just the kind of vaguely well-meaning cis people who don't agree with transphobes but are pretty ignorant about trans issues. And I do mean the vast majority, because literally a billion people grew up on her books and only a bare fraction is on social media at all, and even fewer even see the leftist drive to boycott the franchise.

Let's talk demographics. Because of the aforementioned vastness of consumers, the majority of HP fans are cis het, abled, neurotypical Millennials. Because of the way internet penetration works, the majority of HP fans online and even in fandom are white or Western. Leftist spaces mostly attract young and marginalized people, and transformative fandom is full of neurodivergent women and queer people. Which means the majority of people you're reaching are young queer neurodivergent people who have limited economic power themselves. And the people most vulnerable to and impacted by policing and harrassment are trans, Black and brown, Jewish, mentally ill, poor. Do you see the problem? You're policing the very bottom rungs of the socio-economic ladder on the off-chance of maybe influencing a privileged few who might give a damn.

This is literally why we say that boycotts, especially over social media, don't fucking work. Firstly because they penalize the most disenfranchised consumers, it's hard to reach enough people to even explain why they matter, it's hard to keep up with the constant discourse and changing information, and it relies entirely on performance. Someone can stay quiet or nod along furiously to whatever you're saying and then just...go out and buy the thing. Social censure doesn't work when you have the option of not having to face the consequences. Contrary to hellsite opinion, the Fantastic Beasts franchise died because it sucked, and Harry Potter is dying because it's fading from relevance and JKR is being an embarrassment. The wider market doesn't even know y'all exist.

As for the game being racist and antisemitic...you come on my blog, a South Asian who has been in fandom for twenty years, and try to tell me about racism in media???? NINETY-NINE PERCENT OF ALL MEDIA IS RACIST AND ANTISEMITIC YOU ABSOLUTE CLOWN. I'm from South Asia, our children grow up on books written by colonizers! LORD OF THE RINGS is white supremacy! NARNIA is white supremacy! Disney and Marvel is one of the biggest figures in US military industrial complex that razed the Middle East to the ground. It's so ubiquitous that we have to accept the racism and white supremacy as a matter of course to engage with any Western media! And even then fandom is so racist it's hard to even exist in it! We get run out of it when we try to talk about it. You suck on white supremacy every single day you live like it's your Mum's teat! Do you know what it's like to hear whiteys ranting that people who consume this one game they hate are being antisemitic and racist??? While still fawning??? Over cop shows???? And Disney???? And sending Black people??? Death threats??? Over a game???

I don't say "anti-Semites DNI" for the same reason I don't say "racists DNI". Nobody identifies as a racist or antisemite, that's not how systemic oppression works. Radfem and Zionist and Communist are political identities. Radical feminism is underpinned by transphobia and racism, Zionism is currently entrenched in Palestine occupation, Western communists refuse to acknowledge USSR and Global South genocides. See how that works?

Bitch, you didn't just come at me about JKR's indigenous cultural appropriation when I was among the few who were trying to discourage people from supporting Fantastic Beasts back in 2016 and literally got flamed for it. You people did not give a single shit about Natives back then, and you don't give one now. Just like you don't actually care about Jews and never did. I literally never heard about why and how openly alt-right people keep getting this kind of power and position in the gaming industry. Conversations about antisemitism in gaming and antisemitic tropes in entertainment haven't gotten this much traction. No wider revelations about how entertainment media directly funding and promoting social harms. But sure, it's about antisemitism and racism and has absolutely nothing to do with a mess of white queers realizing they can weaponize it like a cudgel against anyone they believe are against them. We know you whites. You care about excuses to take the moral high ground without having to do any self-interrogation or cost to yourself.

Finally, to give y'all one example of where the current discourse around this stupid shit is at:

Fuck you.

#harry potter #fuck jkr #transphobia #antisemitism #racism #fantastic beasts #western leftists #white privilege #white people #imperialism #knee of huss

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awek-s-archived · 1 year

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please can you guys stop acting like bee wasn’t antiblack, or that her being rightfully angry about antisemitism means that it’s ok to be antiblack. i get it i get that she was hotheaded and emotional. i also get that she is not doing well mentally at all and that’s why she disappeared off tumblr as a result of the situation. i ALSO get that she read and re-read that post after writing it multiple times and went back and added to it and reblogged it a couple times to encourage people to also reblog it to spread it. i know this because i didn’t reblog it myself until about the 3rd time i saw it on my dash. there was ample opportunity for bee to see that her wording was messed up and if she didn’t mean it or miswrote what she meant to say, she could have removed it. whatever, that isn’t the situation at this point. the situation at this point is people know and accept that bee herself admitted she was being antiblack and apologised, but are now rallying some kind of a support group for her being like ‘we know you were antiblack and we don’t agree with that, but it’s ok because we know you didn’t mean it and we love you!’ THAT ISN’T YOUR PLACE. it’s not my place either but evidently you need someone to tell it to you like a dickhead because everyone affected has been way too fucking nice about it. like are you guys stupid? genuinely asking. because you’re starting to sound exactly like the twitter fans you keep mocking and disowning every day in your little screenshots you post on your blogs. racism sucks until it’s your friend, or your mutual, right? then it’s fine? because it’s your friend and you know them and they’re absolutely NOT racist, just in this instance, right? i’m closer to bee and laura than over half of you people on anon or throwaway blogs ever were btw ????? like im literally their friend???? or was supposed to be???? which is why i even expressed such disappointment @ laura and waited so so long for her to try and get back to me and try to tell her that it wasn’t ok to get so defensive????? to the point of her also being racist and antiblack???? but im not gonna stay silent abt it and pretend it’s not happening or defend them on main OR WORSE ON ANON LOL like not even owning what you say, to say things like ‘i know you were racist but i love you :(’ like cmon.... are you SERIOUS with this. BRO YOUR FRIEND WAS RACIST. if you’re not gonna get involved directly on main like i didn’t get til now, at the very least try and talk to them about it, like i know other mutual friends of ours have. at least BE A FRIEND not a fucking asslicker. you didnt see me asslick bee for being in the wrong. i sent her a dm at the start of the chae situation telling her to take care of herself and then supported the community she hurt on here. me distancing myself from them further after all the other shit that happened is because i personally dont feel comfortable interacting with people who were so confidently antiblack and racist on main after doubling down on the initial callout. if u get called out, you review what you said, you apologise sincerely if you were in the wrong, you move on and grow. you allow the people you hurt to process that hurt. that’s how this shit works. you guys are 3rd parties DO NOT get to sit there and go ‘it’s ok!!!! you deserve support, we know you didnt mean it!!!’ while COMPLETELY IGNORING the fact that an entireeeeeee group of black people have been hurting over this situation for DAYS.... like. i have literally seen it with my own two eyeballs because i see their posts. they are hurting!!!! you guys are literally NOT CARING!!!??? get a grip! if you’re gonna support your friend, fair, but at least acknowledge at the VERY LEAST that they literally added to the disgusting treatment black people face enough on here and off here every day. MAY I ALSO MENTION, as my friend jewel also mentioned yesterday, black jewish people exist. this situation hurt them tenfold. like what was the reason for pitting two minority communities against each other like that??? not once have i seen one of you guys say something so simple and so true and that is that ANTISEMITISM IS BAD but SO IS ANTIBLACKNESS.

#im not @ing anybody direclty i just wanted to rage post but if u want to rb u can idc #aweks.txt #but btw the larger body of this post isnt abt laura its abtthe new person that came up just now lol

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thementalshawty · 9 months

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You don’t have to post this, and I’m coming to you as a fellow black woman…but I saw that shit play out in real time. That girl you’re reblogging from is NOT in the right. She is leaving a LOT of things she and her ableist ass followers were saying (like calling that op schizo and retard and whatnot). And it’s actually really fucked up that she got everyone riled up with “racism” when she is literally the only one who brought up race.

I can’t believe tarot drama has me defending a random white woman on anon, but here we are. I thought we left this shit in the past after that BLM debacle in 2021.

I’m only coming to you because I actually read and enjoy your content. Idk who these other people were before this blew up but I’d hate to see you being manipulated by such a weirdo who’s crying racism because she lost an argument with someone who didn’t even know she was a WOC until she screamed racism.

The funny thing about this is. I have no fuccin idea what you’re talking about now if you’re talking about what I put the fuccin sigh too, smh 🤦🏽‍♀️, I don’t have to post what? My opinion on the entire thing, since you think I chose sides let me break it down for you, did you ever think it was just because of the drama in its entirety that I was posting and that I didn’t picc a side? which I didn’t. I make love readings so the fact that I saw the fight again over sumn I was defending is the reason I posted this, not why you felt the need to come at me for and You felt the need to come to me anonymously to state a case that you have no idea what i was thinking? You could’ve came to me in the inbox but instead this?? You could’ve respected me enough to give me the fuccin benefit of the doubt, guilty move on your part, I’m not sitting here defending a soul. You and her shit about who’s right or wrong ain’t my fuccin tea 🍵 the whole fuccin shit is sad and that’s the whole point I said what I said , as a blacc woman I have dealt with fuccin racism on here I’ve dealt with people bullying me about my tarot, my sexuality and so on and so forth, ofc she’s coming at you you think she’s wrong the whole thing is pathetic and that was MY point, I’m not sitting here trying to decide if you’re some dumb bitch and she’s some fuccin white knight. ALL OF IT WAS NOT FUCCIN CUTE! Like you said this shit ain’t 2018 and even then the shit wasn’t cute and in case you didn’t get it, THAT WAS MY POINT OF THE ENTIRE REBLOG! Cut it the Fucc out and get tf out of the tarot community if y’all want to be fighting, I’m not piccin sides or none of that I’m here for the ones that WANT to read and have a good time, trust me I’m not being manipulated by a fuccin soul ONLY PISSED THAT ANY OF YOU BRINGING THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT THIS AINT GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH NO FUCCIN BLACC OR WHITE AND IF YOU THINK I WAS SUPPOSED TO CHOOSE YOUR SIDE AUTOMATICALLY BECAUSE YOU ARE BLACC, Smfh. NO MORE FUCCIN DRAMA ABOUT READINGS THATS MY GODDAMN POINT! That other wacc ass shjt is for the birds! If she’s a racist bitch then that’s what she is, what did that have to do with me being done with the TAROT drama on here???

#tarot reading #pick a pile #tarot cards #tarotblr #pick a card #pac reading #tarot community #psychic #free tarot reading #fs pick a pile #answered!!!

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shopcat · 1 year

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it's just like basically trying to find people to follow who like stranger things on here is like okay do you act bizarrely about the cast in a way that makes me uncomfortable. do you fixate on a gay ship between children in a way that makes me uncomfortable. do you post or reblog x (fem afab she/her gender neutral) readers publically mixed in with your normal content do you do that but it's outrageously sexual and have not one iota of policing around it. do you like racism billy. or jason. or stommy. are you homophobic. are you homophobic but in secret. do you think criticism of the show is making a big deal out of nothing. do you think criticism of character is defamation of interest. do you think the normal way to respond to an actress being treated badly because of misogyny is to be irrelevantly homophobic as a gotcha. do you think people liking a gay ship = actually the end of the world and "actually" the result of an overly fandomised world where two men have to be shipped together as if it's actually 2016 again and the vast vast majority of these fans aren't gay themselves and you're not in fact basedpilled and seeing the hidden truth you're just at the end of the day going on homophobic tirades against a perfectly normal couple. do you hate lucas. do you hate lucas. do you hate lumax?! do you prefer elmax over lumax for some suuuper unobvious reason for sure. do you not like MY favourite character in the way i doz do you oversexualise and objectify adult characters in a way that makes me uncomfortable. are you weird about erica. do you do shit like headcanon steve as a succubus. do you not like nancy and call her a bitch. do you like st/ncy or edd/ssy. do you mash BILLY and eddie together for some fucking reaso. do you think billy is a "good character bad person" because he was a poor little abused schnookums or who's "probably secretly gay". do you like karen wheeler. do you like FUCKING? VECNA? do you hate vickie for no reason. do you hate steve for no reason. do you hate nancy for no reason. do you think robin is flawed or annoying in any way. do you think eddie is a bit strong macho man sadotop. do you think steve is a silly bimbo feminine waifish lap dog or do you do the opposite and make him ALSO a big strong macho man. do you HATE mike. are you 29 posting about highschooler steve harrington. and then there's the normal stuff that isn't a subtle hidden thing i have to hunt down for its just like are you an annoying cishet fan or tiktokpilled or call steve "mom" or or think robin is bisexual or make edits of the cast using videos filmed by fucking stalkers or participate in [TRANSMISOGYNIST SLUR] friday. or just have lame jokes and fandom humour and don't counteract it enough with being charming or funny. do you not acknowledge the real world impact of racism and antisemitism that will always be a part of this show and netflix's production and the duffers inherent misogyny on top of that. and after all this there's only 20 people left and that's why i only have 20 st mutuals.

#sts #long post #?#i actually don't even see how long they wre til i post them this is why i never realise LOL #ugh the life of a hater is a hard one though #🐾

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allamericansbitch · 9 months

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Hi, I just want you to know that I'm not accusing you or telling you what to do. I read your blog and I feel like offering my unasked advice because maybe you never thought of it from another point of view.

You said streams don't give her money, but it does boost her career and streams are considered to be quite important today. You think that your one stream wouldn't be much but that's how million people think and that is how she gets high streams. And also there's a difference between listening for memories and streaming. I don't know which one you do but if you do stream, it is considered to be supporting her.

Taylor Swift is someone who cannot stand people criticising her and she talks back whenever she feels offended. She hasn't said anything about people calling her racist which pretty much says that she is okay with her own fans calling her that. So is it okay to still listen to their music, post their pics, buy their albums or tickets if you as a person aren't a racist? If you are okay with the discrimination pocs face, then that is up to you and you can keep supporting her but I don't think you are like that.

Also there are tons of other creators in other fandoms, so I think if you don't boost or promote the creators of ts it doesn't make you a bad person but in fact makes your own position clear that you don't tolerate racism.

And if you think one follower doesn't make a difference, it does. If you think you can call her out and still enjoy her art, you can't. It's possible if it's some small issue but something like this doesn't give you that option. People used to not like her playing victim but still used to listen to her, that is possible but when she is being a racist and misogynist, it isn't. There is only black or white because she made it like that. She could've apologized or told her fans something vaguely apologizing but what she did was made sure everyone knows that the feelings of her fans don't matter. So I see it as black and white. She's not going to learn from this. And the fans who hold her accountable and still support her does not make a difference because she still gets what she wants.

I don't know if you understand what I'm saying but I tried my best. In the end, if you still repost her stuff and listen to her and buy her things, you're supporting her. And to be honest I'm quite scared of what she can do if she gets the confirmation her fans would stand with her even after calling her a racist.

i've made me stance abundantly clear and if you think one person reblogging gifsets on tumblr dot com or listening to a a song occasionally is supporting her then whatever. if you dont want to have any ounce of nuance to this and have an 'if you even look at her now you're supporting her and think its okay to be racist' attitude towards it then thats on you. im really too tired to give a shit

#answered #anonymous #like ive literally done all i can do and thats still not enough for some of you

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saetoru · 9 months

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Hi I've been following your blog for ages and I love ur writing and I think ur spitfire personality is so funny to see on dash too hehe. I haven't really interacted before bc im shy 😭 but yday one of your rbs struck a chord with me and I thought I'd finally break the ice

That post about telling white people to kill themselves xyz idk I just think it was quite a sad statement overall and idek if you agree with that take or entertain it at all but I feel like its so common all over tumblr :/

Its 1000% fair to call out people who are entitled and privileged, esp after generations of discrimination and trauma (Im a poc too and I've had my fair share of marginalisation) but to make such a sweeping statement about a whole race of people...

Theres lovely white people, and I've met some genuinely amazing, down to earth ones throughout my life who couldn't give a shit about what colour my skin is. On the other hand there's other white people who blatantly hate you for looking a certain way.

In the same way, there's amazing poc whilst there's also terrible ones too. I worked in retail for a year and both times I cried was because a POC verbally abusing me. One of my own race, telling me I should take off my hijab because I "don't know manners" after she screamed at me to return her items and I said I wasn't allowed to because she didn't have a tag which funnily enough is also racism.

The only point I'm trying to make is that unironically the world isn't black and white, and I feel like making sweeping statements about a whole race of people just feeds into the vicious cycle of hate that we're all trying to break out of in the first place.

I feel like saying this on tumblr on your own account is social suicide because everyone's so like omg white people kys 🙄🙄🙄🙄 so I thought I'd talk to you instead because you're eloquent, have a big platform and tbh I just wanna know more ab your takes on it all

hi !! while i’m very glad you think i’m an eloquent person to talk about this, and i’m flattered you think highly of me as motioned above, i think i’ll have to drop this topic with the simple fact that i think the humor of that reblogged post was that the blog dm’d someone and explained why they wanted to block them, that they didn’t know how to block them, and asked if the other person could block them for them. it was just the humor of that concept i think that made that post blow up and the irony of messaging someone u want to remove.

i don’t tell white ppl to kts for simply being white and i don’t think ppl should do that, but i also don’t rly want to get into racial discussions rn bc i don’t think that was the real point of that post.

anyway i appreciate ur thoughts—they were all interesting points and ur experiences are all valid and i’m sorry you went thru them, and i didn’t want to ignore u, but i hope u can understand i’m not rly looking to start this discussion !!

#asks!

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factchecker · 3 years

Text

Another @comfyplant racism reciept

I saw your post about @comfyplant and wanted to say that she’s openly racist. She reblogged a post which was reposted from @worth__fighting__for/@westernaesthetics, a white supremacist Instagram page started and run by senior Stormfront members.

Hope anonymous submissions are ok.

https://comfyplant.tumblr.com/post/650447960237375488

#submission #receipts #racism #white supremacy #comfyplant #radblr #the fact that she reblogged this shit AFTER she was was called out for racism???#says all you need to know really!#thanks for submitting

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beetlebethwrites · 3 years

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Hi! Sorry to ask this question to you but I'm pretty new to IF games, just get into it a month ago, and you've seem to reblogging about an IF author(? I think?) that related to racism? (If I'm not mistaken?) Can i ask what the cause of this? (Idk bout u but I'm in FNAF fandom and it seems this lately Scott also received the same backlash but more towards LGBTQ+ community and now I'm just curious to say the least) you don't have to answer this if you don't want! as this is just to appease my curiosity

I am not sure I'm the best person to come to for a full amazing take (that person would be Mila @milaswriting , who is a POC author of an incredible story, Golden and who is always incredibly eloquent and has taken a lot of shit from this IF author's fandom before)

But yeah, this is in relation to the author of The Wayhaven Chronicles and her lack of action with regards to addressing racism (this time) and other problems in the past. This is under a cut because it got really fucking long my dudes.

The social media manager, Nai, posted a picture on Instagram from the character of Morgan (who is a dark-skinned Greek person as shown here) with a white hand. People in the comments were rightfully angry about this and instead of combating it well, Nai deleted the post and made an apology that doesn't actually address the issue (and is also a little bit self-pitying). The comments of this apology went mad and people who were defending Nai were also being racist towards those who have issues with the way that the situation and original post were handled. I have also seen it reported that people used racial slurs, although I didn’t see this myself before the comments were deleted. Through this, the comments were not being moderated or addressed. Since then, the replies have been stopped but Mishka/Nai have continued to post and reblog things, in particular one choice post about their holidays.

They have not condemned the racism or even said anything about it as of right now.

This has continued into the main tag and into POC fans inboxes, but still there's nothing from Nai or Mishka (the writer of TWC). This could just be a poorly handled thing if there wasn't a past of racism and LGBTQ+ phobia within the writing, which there is including;

Putting the referenced skin colours and official art behind a paywall on her patreon, thus limiting who could see it in the first place until pressure meant she uploaded it onto tumblr.

Referring to M as 'animalistic' in an episode of their Q+A (which Mishka did apologise for)

In the same Q+A, implied that her pansexual character M is attracted to everyone, a harmful stereotype that stacks onto the fact that M is brown, and black and brown people are already stereotyped as hypersexual.

Likening A's demisexuality to a response from their trauma and implying it's a result of them being emotionally repressed (which I think she apologised for?)

Reblogging white-washed art of her characters with praise (which she didn't say anything about but after being called out stopped reblogging coloured art of the characters in question)

Added a god worshipped by southwest Asian people into her story as a character who is a slave (Anunnaki in the demo)

Made all of the werewolf characters we've met so far POC (here) which is a stereotype that's already been massively amplified by other works of fiction to do with vampires

Sidelined F (one of her own main characters), possibly due to settling into ‘best friend’ stereotypes of black people (here)

Has some very cis-straight ideals for the different versions of UB (including different heights, male!M wearing only eyeliner while female!M wears eyeliner, mascara, lipstick)

People are also critical of the portrayal of Rebecca, the MCs mother something I've never personally felt an issue with, but I can understand why people really do.

Mishka could have hired sensitivity readers with the money she makes from Patreon alone (£7.5k GBP a month as of today) and bc of taxes she wouldn't lose much at all IMO if she paid readers for their work.

This isn't even starting on the fandom and its attitude towards other Interactive Fiction authors, especially authors of colour, which is a whole other thing but I won't address that here.

I'm going to finish by saying that even though I've just made a fucking list, I don't think Mishka is racist on purpose, it stems from a place of ignorance and priviledge. However, when you have a fandom this size, who pay you so much, you have a duty to take care in the way you write POC and LGBTQ+ people.

#i was going to avoid saying the full name but fuck it #this this is a summary of everything #as far as i can remember #also with some compilation at the bottom oop this took a minute bc i wanted to be thorough #hope this helps :)#anonymous #answered <3 #i don't have hot takes but you can bet i can consolidate sources #twc #the wayhaven chronicles

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banescrown · 4 years

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Honestly the entire fandom normalizes all the wrong and offensive actions of all our white characters do, claiming them to be “iconic” or whatever. I don’t think many of us even realise that’s what we’re doing, it just happens automatically because white people saying anything bad has been normalized as okay, yet the moment a person of colour say anything slightly wrong they are trashed and hated on.

While yes we love those characters, they need to be called out on the shit they’ve done. I don’t CC (and other authors) realise that what they made their characters say and do is actually offensive. Like now we will see Alastair and Ariadne try to win back their loves and friends etc, but we’ll have to watch them own up to their mistakes and watch as the other side of the apologies are not called out (I’m wording this wrong I hope you guys get what I mean). The others will forgive Alastair for what he said at the academy, and all that racist and mean comments Matthew made to him will be completely ignored/not mentioned at all; only Alastair will be held accountable. Ariadnne will try to win Anna back, but Anna’s been on such a heartbreaker streak, and she literally asked Aridnne to just give up her entire life and dreams for her (and they only knew each other for hardly few weeks), and that will never be addressed.

There’s also a lot of hate going around like “people be stanning all them pretty boys even though they’re shit people” and then call out characters of colour (eg. Alastair), but like, what about your other pretty boys (eg. Matthew) who have done way worse shit, y’all are gonna stan them and justify that? It’s horrible how this type of racism has become so normalized and ingrained into our heads that we don’t even realise what we’re doing, and equally horrible that people purposefully ignore the shit their white characters do.

I’m ashamed to say that back when I read GOTSM I hated Alastair for what he said to Matthew, I didn’t even take into account of the fact that Matthew was the one who literally started it by insulting Alastair. I started liking Alastair after read COG and then when I came onto Tumblr I realised that it was not Alastair's fault alone for the whole situation. I then realized the same applied to Will, Jace and other characters like them, not even from TSC, I had normalized their actions in my head and really thought nothing much of it.

I’m generally the type of person who doesn’t give two shits of what you believe or what your skin colour is etc (I mean it doesn’t affect me or change my opinion on you not that I don’t care what matters to you I’m really bad at wording this I’m sorry), to me if you’re white and a shit person, you’re a shit person; if you believe in any religion and are a shit person, you’re a shit person; and vice versa etc. I will like you for your personality, you telling me you’re Muslim or follow any other religion, or your skin colour does not affect me in the slightest. So it really hit me when I realised that I had unknowingly become internally prejudiced (I’ve tried to change that, going back and looking at the shit a lot of my fav characters have done and acknowledging it, it’s really changed my opinions and perspectives a lot).

I’m giving my own personal example so people realise I’m not making shit up when I say we don’t even realise when we treat characters unfairly, not cuz I’m looking to attacked for this.

I’m really hoping CC proves me wrong and actually knows that she wrote in discriminative comments etc, and will have those addressed in her next book(s) like COI (obviously she can’t really do anything about like TID and TMI etc now and it’s fine writers are only human they make mistakes). Because at the very least I really want Matthew to be called out on the shit he’s done (as I’ve said before), as well as the fact that he’s literally an alcoholic, there is no way anyone can deny that it's 100% canon.

Can’t think of anything else to say about this now, pretty sure I’ve worded a lot of stuff wrong so I’m sorry if I end up offending anyone THAT IS NOT MY INTENTION, I just saw a post earlier talking about Anna and how she’s not really the best role model (and I honestly agree) and it started me off on this (I’ve reblogged it to my page, shoutout to the person who made that list). If I think of more I’ll reblogg this and add more or make a new post idk.

ALSO I LOVE ALL MY CHARACTERS THIS IS NOT A HATE POST ON ANY CHARACTER IF YOU DON’T LIKE THE CHARACTERS I’M TRYING TO DEFEND OR WHATEVER THAT’S FINE BUT I HOPE IT’S FOR VALID REASONS (idk what reasons come under valid reasons that depends on you ig) I feel like I need to add this disclaimer to every rant I post.

Yea so can we try and stop normalizing shit whit people and characters do and call them out on it thank you to whoever actually reads this whole thing <3

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thehollowprince · 3 years

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Sterek, Thiam, & Queerbaiting, Oh My!

(Or how racism and homophobia suppressed the actual representation of gay men in the show that fandom so desperately claimed they wanted.)

So, I'm just going to come out and say it right off the bat: neither of these ships were actually queerbaiting. As a matter of fact, I'd say that those ships just by themselves (and the fandoms that rose around them) were low-key homophobic. The reason I say this isn't just because of the large number of women in this fandom that fetishize mlm sexuality, nor is it about those who attack anyone who has any critique of those ships, its just about the ships themselves.

Now, one could argue that those ships arose from the fandom, and that is true, forever linking canon and fanon in the worst possible way, but this is more to do with the fact that the production of this show cowtowed to the vocal fans on Twitter and put moments in there that, while not explicitly canon, was a not-so-subtle nod to those "fans" that harassed people over crack ships.

Of course, I've been over this before, the pedophilic nature of Sterek and the outright abusive elements to Thiam, but those very real complaints (from an actual gay man like myself) always fall on deaf ears or is usually met with the whole "fiction doesn't affect reality" spiel. And this is incredibly frustrating (or even downright infuriating) to those of us who have had to live with these stereotypes because of our sexuality. To this day there are people out there who equate gay men with pedophiles. That's one of the major talking points for these anti-LGBT religious groups and there's an entire group of people on the internet who are dedicated to promoting a predatory style relationship (Sterek).

What makes the popularity of Sterek so infuriating, is the fact that we had Danny right there. Danny was present in the second episode of the series. We were introduced to him before there was any kind of interaction between Stiles and Derek, and yet he is continually slept on by the fandom, and then by the production as a result of the fandom, which eventually led to Danny just disappearing from the show entirely. To add insult to injury, Danny was practically everything Fandom was crying for when it came to gay representation. He was handsome with a nice body, smart and funny, and everyone liked him, and yet there's usually cricket chirps whenever he's mentioned. Something similar happened to Scott - a character that who stuck fast to his morals and was just an all around good person, and yet so many people violently hated him. Now what could Danny and Scott have in common that made so many people look past them? Gee, I wonder?

Moving forward, once Sterek was no longer a possibility, rather than focus on, I don't know, Mason, a character that was tailor-made for the fandom, they once again make up a crack ship to flock around (Thiam) rather than focus on the actual, consensual relationship that was made up of actual gay characters.

But you may be saying to yourself, "at least these two (Theo and Liam) were around the same age", and you would be right in that regards. But what makes this ship bad, is that it's rooted entirely in first deceit and then later in physical violence. I remember very vividly seeing someone say that Liam and Theo punching each other was how they expressed their affection and I was horrified by that. How many times a day on this app do we see posts floating around that domestic violence is wrong? And then how many times do you see a ship (usually a crack ship) that a fandom loves rooted in physical violence? The disconnect is terrifying.

All of this while Mason and Corey were right there, being cute and in love and everything that fandom claims they want when it comes to representation, yet they're totally ignored in favor of the two straight characters beating the shit out of one another. This is why so many franchises revolving around these "macho men" are able to thrive, even though so many people (mostly women) in fandom claim they want softer men. And yet, whenever a softer man is presented, particularly if they're a man of color, they're brushed aside.

And that's just mlm representation! You hear almost nothing when it comes to wlw representation, unless its to get the women "out of the way".

This all comes down to the racism that permeates every level of fandom. I'm not saying this is intentional, because we've all done it. Hell, I did it. When I joined the Teen Wolf fandom, I followed pro-Sterek blogs and reblogged Sterek posts, because I wanted to be accepted in the fandom, and I bought into the propaganda that was fanon!Sterek. I read the metas and the fics and decided to believe in those instead of what I saw on the screen with my own two eyes. Thankfully, I snapped out of it, but that's why Sterek (and later Thiam) dominated fandom spaces, even making their way to polls for "Best Couple" on many websites.

And then, when these ships don't become canon, fandom screams QUEERBAITING!!! Even though those ships were something made up entirely by the fandom and never something that production considered being canon.

Another big part of how the situation gets as bad as it does is that fandom misunderstands (either accidentally or deliberately) what racism actually means. It's not just the throwing of slurs, it's the preference of the white character over the character of color, even though the latter has everything they said they wanted. Racism is reducing characters of color to stereotypes, such as a brown or brown person being violent (Tamora and Kali) or the sexually obsessed Latino (Scott) or the untrustworthy negro (Deaton and Morrell). Hell, even Boyd was thrust into the silent negro stereotype for some reason.

Now this part, this is as much the production's fault as it is the fandoms, because while the former introduced those concepts (or even if fandom thinks they introduced those concepts) fandom then takes them and blows them out of proportion. How many times have I gotten an ask from that one anon telling me that Scott was "obsessed" with Allison? How many times have I seen metas about how Deaton was "untrustworthy" because he didn't share his every waking thought? How many times did we see particular blogs slut-shame Braeden because she engaged in a consensual relationship with Derek?

And the thing about those is, yes, the original idea was introduced in the show, such as Scott's relationship with Allison or Deaton only offering advice when asked or Derek and Braeden flirting, but fandom took them and cranked them up to eleven in an effort to make these characters look horrible. This is something we don't see at all when it comes to their white counterparts. Stiles is never described as "obsessed" by the fandom despite his fixation on Lydia. Peter is almost never described as "untrustworthy" by the fans despite lying and decieving people all the time. Neither Lydia or Malia are called sluts for being sexually active despite not being in relationships.

When Derek repeatedly assaults Stiles (or Scott, not that fandom cared), it's seen as quirky or romantic (same with Thiam), but when Scott hits Isaac or Jackson, in scenes that were very specifically shown to be comedic, its seen as abusive and violent. Stiles asking Danny if he's "attractive to gay guys" or pausing after Caitlin asked him if he liked guys is deemed proof that he's bisexual, but Scott's interactions with Isaac and Danny (or even Stiles himself), where had they been a guy and a girl, it would have clearly been an intimate moment, is still considered absolutely straight by fandom.

So what's the difference?

It's the racism.

The real kicker at the end of the day here is that fans cry queerbaiting, all the while they're actively sleeping on the actual gay representation that's there. It doesn't fit their aesthetic, so they ignore it, and then wonder why mlm relationships are going down in television. I'm not saying we shouldn't want or demand more representation in media, but people can't be so ignorant as to outright ignore the representation they're given and then wonder why they're not getting more.

Well, this got way longer than I originally intended and I hope I'm not just screaming into the void, but this is an issue that's still relevant, all these years after Teen Wolf ended.

#teen wolf meta #teen wolf fandom problems #teen wolf racism #scott mccall defense squad #anti sterek #anti thiam

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fleabaqs · 4 years

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TIPS FOR WRITING LATINOS FOR DUMMIES!

because y’all can’t seem to get anything right.

under the cut you will find a lot of useful (maybe) information when writing latino characters. please consider leaving a like/reblog if you find this useful.

FIRST OF:

yes, karen, we will call you gringo. that’s not on the table, that’s not a discussion. all latinos use the word gringo, and if you say it’s a racist slur ONE MORE TIME, i swear you will regret it, filha da puta.

SECOND:

NOT ALL LATINOS SPEAK SPANISH!! i know, crazy, right??? brazilians speaks PORTUGUESE, yes PORTUGUESE!!! bitch

yes, portuguese and spanish are really similar, but don’t write the “even though i speak only spanish/portuguese i can understand spanish/portuguese” depending on the country/state you’re born, you CAN’T. so just avoid that.

if you’re character/fc was born in united states, they probably won’t be considered latino in latin america. PERIOD. that’s not up for discussion either.

if your character/fc was born in latin america, he ISN’T going to be considered a person of colour if they have white skin. take for example the family from one day at a time. in usa they can be talking about racism and everything, but in latin america you only suffer racism if you have clearly black/asian descent. plus: if you’re white and you decided to shit rules into racism in latin america (at least in brazil) you’ll probably get beaten up. not a joke. and as a white latina, i support that.

WHY are you all so lazy? If you wanna write ANY character, from ANY country that is not yours = YOU SEARCH INFO ABOUT THAT COUNTRY!! i swear your hand is not going to fall of! im taking as example my country, if you wanna write a brazilian, search about the states! a cearense and a gaúcho are TOTALLY different!!! a carioca and paulista are totally different even tho rio de janeiro and são paulo are so close. DECIDE the country, the area, the state and city of your character!

moving on from geography: other types of stereotypes!! NOT ALL LATINA MOMS ARE CRAZY AND CONSERVATIVES! some are pretty chill! really… there are moms who won’t go crazy about anything. so don’t be afraid to write a mom that is okay with their child going out at night, being LGBT or being pro choice. okay???

okay, but why aren’t you using the word “latine”? most latino community are against this word. shocking, right? everyone has their reasons why they don’t like it, my case is because my family is really poor/my grandparents didn’t go to school and everything and as much as they would respect and understand non binary people, they would not be able to use it. not even my mom, who is a teacher, is able to use it. she respects their existence, but they gotta respect other people existence too. my family is one of the lucky ones, there are people in worse conditions. when using the word latine, UNDERSTAND the background of the character!

ASIANS LATINOS EXISTS!! my god, this is a hard one. i never see asian latino representation in unitedstaten midia. like, what’s that about? they don’t have to choose between their ethnicities!! now shut up, karen

we DON’T call unitedstatens americans, or united states america! i don’t know what happened in their education system, but they really gotta understand america is a fucking continent with more than 30 countries. you’re not special, desgraçados parasitas do caralho

if i see one more latino drug dealer and latina sex symbol, IM GONNA KILL A GRINGO!! that’s not all we are!

we will get offended if you say we are from a country we are not, after we already said our country. i know it’s hard for you to memorize more than five countries, but i gonna be cheering for you!

most latinos hate, or at least dislike, our colonizers. in brazil, we make jokes about portuguese people all the time and we will ask for the gold they stole from us at any given opportunity. so when writing a latino character, know who colonized their country.

latinos are clean. i know this may sound a little off for non latinos, but our sense of personal hygiene is really important. again, this variates from country to country, but in brazil we are thought that we should brush our teeths after every meal (at least 4 times a day), and that we should shower EVERY day. no, no, don’t come with that unitedstaten shit about showering only when you exercise, or that during summer going to the pool is showering BECAUSE IT’S NOT, THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING HIJA DE PUTA. if your character has access to clear water and personal hygiene products, he will do this kind of things.

just... read abou that country you wanna write. here goes some ideias: *country* traditional food, *country* sports, *country* music (in this one, learn how to say the language of the country in the language of the country. example: don’t search “portuguese songs”, search instead for músicas brasilieiras. don’t search for “mexican songs” search for canciones mexicanas.), *country* books/writers, *language of the country* basic phrases! ]

latin america is part of three americas! america is devided in three. north america = mexico, and the other two; central america = cuba, costa rica, etc; south america = brazil, chile, etc. DON’T go to my ask to say “oH mExIcO iS nOt NoRtH aMeRiCa” because i swear i’ll track you down and shove a atlas down your throat!

latin america is not just tropical vibes, dumb bitch!! we have snow too! this is fucking brazil. and this is argENTINA!

just remember these facts when writing brazilians: brazil is the second country with the biggest japanese community, second country out of germany with more germans, and get this!! brazil has more lebaneses than lebanon.

latino accent when is speaking english is not just lydia from odaat. it changes.

english is second or third or fourth (and so it goes) language for latinos. keep in mind that mistakes are made. and most latinos (myself included) love their accent!! we want you to listen to our voice and ask where we’re from, and that gets to:

WE ARE COCKY! yes, we are very cocky about our culture, get over it!

most latinos cried/got really happy when parasite won the oscar. now you ask me, why are you writing this on a guide on how to write fucking latinos??? well, my dudes, latinos are tired of imperialism. just that. don’t write a character that worships usa culture (can we call hamburguers and coke culture, my ladies? I DONT THINK SO), even if they moved to usa. “it’s also important to remember that the american dream is sold to all of us, since forever.”

i guess this is it??? just, talk to a latino and ask “is this correct?” when in doubt. we are indeed very energetic and we talk loud and a lot, but we don’t bite. writing us is difficult, you’ll probably get something wrong. but if we see that you did basic research, we will get really happy about it. bye, gringos!

edit 001: this link and this link are great! use them.

edit 002: any fc can be latino! ANY FC CAN BE LATINO! fun fact: the brazilian passport is one of the most expensive ones, because anyone can pass as brazilian. anyone can be latino! wong yukhei? big brazilian energy! madison beer? can be latina. ester expósito? latina. kim taeyeon? I HEAR THE LATINA DRUMS!! idk, kj apa? can be latino too!

not all latinos are good dancers and not all latin dances are salsa. check “#latinodancecheck” on tiktok, if you have one.

there are differences between spanish speaking surnames and brazilian ones. first of: the number of surnames changes with the country. second: spanish speaking countries surnames end in “ez”, while brazilian surnames end in “es”. examples: rodriguez, rodrigues; lópez, lopes; hernandez, fernandes; martinez, martins. but sometimes, we exchange surnames. you can find a brazilian with the surname “gonzalez” instead of gonçalves, if their family comes from a spanish speaking country.

this ask sent by the lovely anon!

this other ask sent another sweet anon!

this.

#rph #rp guide #writing help #i don't know what to tag #rph br #this was supposed to be a rant #and ended up being a sort of guide ?? idk

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protectwoc · 4 years

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why all reylos are racist

y’all can go ahead and cancel me now because some of you are not going to like what i have to say and i am completely okay with that.

this recent gq interview with john boyega has incensed me. hearing all the things he went through, from disney and from “fans” and with no support from anyone… i’m livid. sometimes when i think about it for too long i start shaking, i’m so furious. and the response from the reylo fandom has infuriated me to a degree i honestly didn’t know was possible.

some of you may have seen my recent tumblr rampage. it’s reylo bullying hours here on my blog, and i’m not sorry either. one person threatened to post screenshots of my comments, which like… okay? i know what the fuck i said, it wasn’t that long ago. in fact i was going to include the screenshots in this post right here, but they blocked me before i had the chance. sorry. i’m sure somebody has them. anyway…

over the past two days in the star wars fandom we have seen something unprecedented: an outpouring of support for john boyega. both reylos and anti-reylos have joined forces to voice support for john in the wake of the gq interview (and the blm protests, let’s be real, some of y’all would not have given half a fuck if it wasn’t suddenly cool to be antiracist). and this showing of unity is one of the most rage-inducing things i’ve ever seen in a fandom (which is saying something; i have seen some shit).

reylo fandom, full offense intended, but where the fuck do you get off? you’re supporting john now? where was this support when tfa came out and you couldn’t stand the thought of him next to your white-girl-self-insert? where was it when tlj came out and your boy ryan completely sidelined him? where was it earlier this fucking year when y’all twisted a harmless joke (like yall haven’t spent years writing reylo-throne-room-sex-meta BULLSHIT) and ignored the vile racist shit coming from your own fav’s mouth? but you’re supporting him now? now that being antiracist is trendy? fuck outta here with that bullshit.

your fandom is the reason for the vast majority of the absolutely subhuman treatment john has endured over the last few years. your fandom influenced ryan (yes i know what his name is) to write tlj the way he did, you have behaved indefensibly here on tumblr.hell writing and drawing and fantasizing about all sorts of racist bullshit, and y’all have STAYED in his twitter mentions spewing hatred seven ways to sunday. but NOW, without a shred of self-reflection, you’re supporting him? now his experiences are valid?

the way that your fandom refuses to take accountability for its actions makes me see red. y’all stay on some “not all reylos” nonsense and i am SICK OF IT. i’m only gonna say this once, and i want you to hear me: you cannot be a reylo and be “antiracist”. you cannot participate in a fandom that has behaved the way yours has and say “blm, uwu acab.” you can’t. like do you think black people are dumb? that we can’t see right through you? we can.

“but rae,” i hear you whining. “you’re gonna say just because i like two characters together i’m a racist?” and of course not. that would be ludicrous. i think just because you knowingly engage and participate in a fandom that has racism encoded in its dna, you’re a racist. i think because y’all are in bed with racist harassers, racist trolls, and racist content creators, you’re a racist. that’s what the fuck i think. y’all lost the right to “it’s just a ship” me the instant you dragged john boyega into this.

here’s an example: i watched tfa about three days after it came out. i watched the first half, saw the obvious relationship set up between finn and rey, and thought, “aw, cute.” then i watched kylo and rey fight, watch him offer to teach her, and thought, “... interesting.”

when i got home i checked tumblr for finnrey content, saw the outpouring of love from black fans, all the cute fanart and fics blooming, and smiled. then, slowly, guiltily, i searched “reylo.”

BOOM. racism. the things i saw in the tag that night are tattooed on my brain. reylos rejoicing about the obvious rey/kyle pairing because “sw would never put her with that monkey finn”. calling him an “oaf”, “useless”, “bumbling”, “stupid”. reylos joking about how “when they talked about the Dark side, [they] didn’t think they meant that kind of dark.” “woke” reylos pretending to ship stormpilot in an obvious ploy to get finn away from kylo. and in between all of that, cute ship art. fun fics. talented gif makers. and nobody saying shit about the reprehensible behavior going on in their tag.

reylo is built on a foundation of racism. from that first week, racism has been woven into the fabric of your fandom, and it’s been going unchecked. and i don’t mean calling out other reylos. that’s not enough. i mean taking actual steps. y’all have been sitting in a cesspool of racism for five years, and its time for you to get the fuck out or shut the fuck up about being an “ally”. y’all need to leave this fandom.

don’t agree? here’s another story. in 2017, when i still watched supergirl (before i grew taste) i shipped karamel. for those of you who don’t know, karamel is the ship of kara zor-el (supergirl) and mon-el, her second love interest. when supergirl was moved to the cw for its second season, the decision was made to abruptly end her romance with jimmy olsen, played by mecahd brooks (a black man) and replace him with mon-el, played by chris wood, a white man, who was revealed to be, among other things, an alien slaveowner, as well as a playboy and all-around terrible person. and i shipped them. look, i’m not defending myself, but i never really bought the chemistry between jimmy and kara. even though mon-el’s introduction and the way that they carelessly disregarded kara’s feelings for jimmy made me uncomfortable, i thought the way melissa played her attraction to chris wood was more believable (and again, i’m not defending myself, but they are now married so it’s not like i was wrong). so i shipped them. simple as that, right?

well, no. not really. because the inherent racism in the way the writers wrote out her admittedly sweet romance with a black man in favor of a white slaveowner jerk kept bothering me. and finally i decided that it made me too uncomfortable to participate in. i never really reblogged any karamel fandom stuff, but i completely divorced myself from the fandom. i stopped reading karamel fic, and i switched to reblogging exclusively jimmy/kara content until the fandom died out/i stopped watching. i made a choice that real life racism is more important to me than a fucking fandom or a ship, and then i acted accordingly. simple as that.

and i’m not saying you have to stop liking the reylo dynamic. i still like the chemistry between kara and mon-el. i’ve shipped problematic ships before (bamon comes to mind) and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with that (to a point). but there’s a difference between liking a ship dynamic and engaging and contributing to a fan culture of racism. you have to stop participating in the fandom. y’all are in bed with people indistinguishable from confederate-flag-waving-all-lives-matter-touting racists and you don’t feel the need to get out of that environment? there comes a certain point where you have to decide if fandom bullshit is more important to you than fighting racism, and unfortunately, reylos have chosen wrong. that, ladies and gentlemen, is why all reylos are racist, regardless of what they say. roll credits.

except i have more to say, so i’m gonna say it. first of all, i’m not trying to hold myself up as some kind of paragon of virtue. i’m not holier-than-thou because all my ships are “woke” or whatever. chemistry is subjective, and we’re all going to be attracted to different ship dynamics, and there’s nothing wrong with that in theory. what matters is the execution. i finally had to say one day, “you know, this ship and the racist baggage it carries is actually less important to me than battling systemic racism on every level, including the fandom level”. y’all thought being antiracist was gonna be easy? that you wouldn’t have to make some actual changes, to make some actual sacrifices? sorry not sorry to disappoint. and if i, a normal-ass person with flaws and problematic thinking that i’m still dealing with and the whole ine yards, can make that decision, then other people should be required to as well.

(what really irks me is that the karamel fandom wasn’t even really that bad! i definitely could have gotten away with being a karamel stan in 2017. thankfully the supercat and supercorp shippers were doing the lord’s work and bullying them into submission (don’t think i’m letting y’all off the hook either, y’all have got some racism to deal with as well but that’s an essay for another day) but like most of the racism happened at the writing level; the fandom itself wasn’t engaging in racist clownery on the regular. but like the reylos are. y’all see racist bullshit coming from your neighbor, fav fic writer, artist, gif maker, whatever, and don’t say shit? don’t feel the need to distance yourself from them? gtfoh.)

i made this argument earlier when i was on my rampage (which i’m still on btw so don’t clown in my inbox, you will get your shit rocked) but i’m going to make it again because i feel like its important to note. when i pointed out that existing in the reylo fandom while you are aware of its racism makes you complicit in that racism, a white reylo told me earlier that (paraphrasing, my memory’s not as good as it used to be and i did mention that they’d blocked me) “you don’t solve a problem like systemic racism by ignoring it. leaving the fandom would be allowing it to happen.” when i pointed out that that’s police officer rhetoric almost verbatim, she (a white reylo) admonished me (a black woman) not to compare police brutality to a “ship war.” lmao.

look, clearly y’all need a refresher on what “systemic” means. it means, quite simply, that there are systems, large and small, allow for racism to exist, and it also means that allowing for racism to exist on the small scale means expecting it on a large one. like you think police officers spring fully formed from the head with racist ideals already ingrained? no! they learn it and learn to justify it with “well just because my friend made a racist joke doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because i laughed at my friend’s using a racist term in my video game doesn’t make me a racist” and “just because my friend is a racist doesn’t mean i’m a racist” and then we have people watching their coworkers kneel on a man’s back for 8 minutes with no remorse. i’m not gonna solve police brutality by fighting reylos on tumblr, but fandom racism is real racism with consequences on our world, and i don’t tolerate ANY type of racism. and the fact that you are so willing to not just tolerate it but justify it should say something to you.

and not all reylos are like this. similar to cops, good reylos don’t last. i have seen people grow so disgusted by the racism in the reylo fandom that they publicly turned their backs on it, and those reylos i respect. you’ve heard of “the only good cop is an ex-cop” well get ready for “the only good reylo is an ex-reylo”.

(and also like far be it from me to justify a cop but one could at least say they have their livelihoods to think about (not like they couldn’t just pick a nonmurderous profession but i digress) but you reylos can’t even choose between taking a stance against the hateful and unjustified bullying of a man who had the audacity to… get a job (?)... over a ship? come on now.)

the point of all this is, for all their posturing about “being antiracist” and “fuck 12” and “support john boyega”, reylos have decided that a relationship between two fictional people is more important than all the black and brown people who are hurt by that decision and the consequences of that decision. and before y’all pull some “b-but there are POC reylos!” (stop fucking using poc as an adjective, its a noun, it stands for person of color, please use it as such) internalized racism is a thing. busting out your token “reylo of color” (see how easy that was?) is not going to change my mind. all reylos are complicit in the racism of their peers, and being complicit makes you culpable. full stop.

and that is why the public support of john boyega from the reylo fandom has me seeing red. renounce your fandom or keep that man’s name out of your mouth. anyway, this was long and ranty and entirely stream-of-consciousness and i’m refusing to edit it so it’s probably completely incomprehensible to anyone besides me but if you made it this far thanks for reading ig. all reylos are racist, blm, fuck 12, acab, stan john boyega, don’t clown in my inbox unless you’re coming to bully me for being a karamel shipper, which i deserve (or do, i couldn’t give less of a fuck). good night.

#john boyega #anti reylo #raetalks

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emerald-studies · 4 years

Text

Racism in Education

June 27, 2020

Day 6 of 7

[ These are just some thoughts I have in my head about this topic, it isn’t meant to be a purely academic discussion. It’s meant to be a conversation to learn about another perspective. ]

—-

Ok this will be my most challenging post. This is a long read but I’d appreciate you reading it all because I’ve been doing free emotional labor for almost a month and if you want to be an ally, that means learning from other perspectives. So please read. This drained me so much to write, please make it worth it.

You have the time, please read.

As I stated in my intro, I moved from a very conservative State (I don’t even want to say the State because I hate it so much.) to Washington State. I moved after graduating online school a year ago.

Growing up in that State I was almost always the only Black girl in my class. For my whole educational career. I hated when we would discuss the civil rights movement because I could feel my White peers staring at me, like I was the face of my race.

It was junior year that broke me.

I began the year optimistic. I always did, even though I had experienced racism before each year, pushing me to move to 4 different schools in 4 years.

I moved to a school in a rural area with a lot of mormons and maybe 5 Black people in the whole, huge school.

It was in September that my mental health plummeted. I don’t know why. I guess I was overwhelmed. I was in an AP US History class and there was work over the summer that everyone else did, but I didn’t. I had just gotten there, after all. I didn’t have the textbook. That class was such a heavy workload that we were having a quiz every other day, 1 test a week, and I was trying to study for a test that my peers had months to study for, and already took.

I attempted to take my life, but I knew I didn’t really mean it. I’ll be honest about that. I just wanted everything to stop so I could catch my breath.

I went to the ER on a Thursday night. My Mom drove me.

We sat in the ER for a little bit and then I was taken to a little room where a nurse came to talk to me. BTW I have never had a good interaction with a nurse.

This nurse came in and basically shamed me.

“You’re so young. You have your whole life ahead of you. You don’t need to do this to yourself.”

Yeah, no shit. I thought about that every day. My grades, getting into college, getting into law school.... that’s the point. I was overwhelmed.

She suggested that I punch a pillow if I “Got upset” because that’s what her daughter does.

Fuck off.

The Doctor came in and he gave me butterfly bandages and he was so much more understanding, shockingly. (I’ve shadowed Surgeons and Doctors and they can be a little abrasive).

I liked that the Doctor fixed me up. I liked having this wrap around my wrist. I felt like I could move on. Like I let something out.

The Doctor asked if I needed to stay at this place that dealt with cases like mine.

I said,

“No.”

I couldn’t have that on my record for what I want to do. So, I went home.

I took the Friday off and my Mom visited the school to let them know what happened. I was already preparing for pity.

I had to come in on Monday to set up a 504 (students with disabilities act) for depression. I don’t think I had depression, but whatever. I dropped out of AP US History.

They made accommodations for me: more time on tests, working in the library, more time on assignments, etc.

I want you to know that I did not touch those accommodations for 5 months.

I knew I didn’t need them. I maintained a 3.8 GPA.

I sat in a room with all 8 of my teachers (we had a block schedule 4 classes per day alternating), seeing all of them look at me with disgusting levels of pity.

They each talked to me in private saying things like,

“If you ever need anything, let me know.”

“I’m here for you.”

“You matter.”

I thought,

“Hm ok, that’s nice.”.

I went on for months without using my accommodations and practically wooping my “normal” classmates in intellectual discussions.

But then the casual racism I experienced was escalating.

First, in the beginning of the year, my AP US History teacher put his hand on my head and said to a student,

“If you really believe that, Faith would be a slave right now.”

(I don’t remember what the hell we were even talking about)

Then I got little questions/comments like,

“Why do you dress White?”

“Cracker is just as offensive as the n-word”

But now we were going into Black History Month. My new history teacher was an old White Man and we were talking about the civil rights movement, while in English we were reading “Black Like Me” with my blonde, Female, millennial teacher.

I nailed everything in the civil rights movement discussions. The teacher loved me. I nailed the conversations about “Black Like Me”.

But....I don’t know. The environment got really toxic. There was more racism, gaslighting, slurs. Every. single. day. It could break anyone.

I would be on the brink of tears in class every day.

Guess who didn’t notice?

All 8 of those concerned teachers.

They don’t give a shit.

My grades were still pretty good, but I started working in the library. I couldn't be around all of those racist peers.

While in the library, my counselor would come in and interrogate me.

“How long have you been in here?”

“Have you tried, really tried to go to class?”

Of course I tried! I felt like I wanted to be dead and so I left. That’s what the 504 Plan was for. Again, I hadn’t touched my accommodations for months so I thought maybe these grown adults would use their tiny brains and think,

“Huh maybe she needs help.”

But no.

I would go to the counselor almost every day and say

“I’m not doing well.”

And she’d ask,

“What does that mean?”

Ok...so I have to tell this Woman that I feel like dying but not at my own hand? Because she can’t use social cues and read my face stained with tears?

I couldn’t say anything.

She said,

“What can we do to keep you going here?”

I said,

“I don’t know”

Because that’s not my job.

Then it happened.

My history teacher was talking about affirmative action.

He said,

“If I worked at a bank for 30 years and went to work at another bank, FAITH would get a job over me because she’s a BLACK WOMAN. Do you get that? She covers TWO minorities!”

He said this while pointing his wrinkled finger in my face.

None of my peers said anything.

I replied with,

“Well, what are my qualifications?”

He ignored me.

He went on a rant teaching his opinions, not facts. So I wrote down what he said on sticky notes.

I called my Mom at break and asked her

“Is that racist? Do I do anything?”

I was so desensitized to racism I couldn’t tell anymore.

My White Mom, my awesome Mom said,

“YES.”

I went to the Vice Principal and reported the teacher and gave her the sticky notes.

The next day we got an email from the principle saying that the teacher said, he never said anything about me.

So I was a liar?

To get evidence, I recorded the whole next class. I was scared every minute that he would find out.

He didn’t. And he said more awful things.

I had concrete proof.

We told the Principal and he ignored me. My Mom emailed the superintendent (very high up person in the school district) and oh now he responds?

They basically said,

“We gave him a warning, he won’t do it again.”

Ok so he just will hide his racism now. Just remember, teachers legally aren’t allowed to teach their opinion. The Supreme Court deemed it unconstitutional to teach opinions.

I was still required to go to this racist Man’s class. I still answered every question he posed to the class and he recognized my intelligence.

So WHY?

WHY me?

The whole year he loved having me as a student and then....that?

Moving on to my English class.

We had to do a cultural experience trip and so my acquaintance and I went to the Black History Museum. Because I’m Nigerian-American. I do identify as Black though because everyone assumes it anyways, but I wanted to learn more about the history in my city.

We were required to make presentations talking about the experience we had. I decided to add a little twist.

I made a whole slide in my slideshow dedicated to every racist thing said to me in that class.

The slide was met with laughter because racism is just so funny.

My teacher said nothing.

So I, the student, the minor in the room, had to say,

“I see you laughing but this is why I’m leaving this school. This is serious.”

Nothing from my teacher.

Cut to maybe a week later and I was done. I was sitting in my English class about to burst. My acquaintance asked me,

“Are you doing ok?”

I replied,

“No. Absolutely not.”

A classmate checked in on me, while all my 8 teachers who actually knew about my attempt on my life didn’t.

We went outside and I decided to leave the school that day. Three weeks before summer break. I couldn’t be in either class anymore. I felt my brain rotting from being exposed to the absolute shit that those students/teachers would spew, every day.

I lost my 3.8 GPA

I lost my credits for the semester.

The racist teacher is still working.

I had to go online.

It happened again.

Another racist history teacher.

Wasn’t removed.

I graduated with a lower GPA.

Didn’t apply to my dream school.

I have the trauma seared into my brain. I’m terrified of taking another history class. Terrified.

Ok, that’s it. If you made it this far, thank you. It took me awhile to write this. I hope this gave you another perspective.

So.... discussion time.

Let me know what you think here

I’d like to hear from you since I delved into my trauma.

I don’t think I’ll ever tell this story again, it makes me sick and tired. But I’ll answer questions/asks.

If you have a lot of White guilt and wanna do something, you could donate some reparations to my venmo lol:

@faithrebecca1397 (last 4 digits are 4809)

or paypal

http://www.paypal.me/faithrebecca1397

Edit: People are asking me if they can reblog this. YES PLEASE REBLOG. It’s important to let people know that all types of racism are alive and well.

#blm #black lives matter #education #academia #black women matter #discussion #racism #history #mental health

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chocopvffz · 4 years

Text

My Problems with Fandom

It’s been a while since I’ve kinda just let out my thoughts and feelings on this stale hell site. It’s just now more than ever I’m having the weirdest realizations while I’m participating in any Fanbase. This topic may piss ppl off. But to that, I say fuck it, I’m gonna do it.

Around 2 years ago I took a backseat to actively participating in fandom. So I’d be more of an onlooker rather than someone who contributed. Just reblogging stuff rather than making my own content. Usually in fandom, things are said in the heat of the moment, with little thought and more emotions. Taking a step back I started to realize that while that’s fine in and of itself, You’re entitled to what you like and what’s interesting to you, but I’ve realized that people kinda settle for the bare minimum. Especially now that representation for marginalized groups is becoming the norm. Which is great, but there are still problems that plague us as a community.

I just finished watching Unicorn of War’s video on RWBY, and they delved into the absolutely garbage writing that surrounded The White Fang subplot. I highly recommend you watch the video, it’s about the bad representation of minority oppression and how it relates to RWBY as a whole. While this post doesn’t stem from that in particular. what did was though is how UoW confessed that they were guilty of completely ignoring how harmful the writing was for pocs, as well as downright silencing and downplaying poc that had a problem with the writing. Unicorn of War is not racist, the fact that they realized the type of systemic racism they’ve been inadvertently spreading is so harmful is a a step in the right direction. Here is where the problem lies. UoW said that they were a perpetrator of this because they were to focused on the representation the show did give the fans. They said that they lumped all of the genuine criticism of the problems with homophobes and bigots because they didn’t want to hear any of the criticism at all. RWBY has some pretty shit representation in ever field. UoW said that they were settling for the stuff they did get because they get so little, and their whiteness blinded them to listening and trying to understand why so man poc had an issue with the show.

Basically what I’m trying to say is that, a lot of the time In Fandom, ppl would rather settle for what they do have and what caters to them, rather than criticize a product of its faults and ask for more.

I’ve been scared to talk about She-Ra because the fandom is pretty scary. I liked the show. To me it wasn’t anything special. But it was a fine show, and I can’t wait for what the crew does next. But here’s where a lot of the issues come from for me. There are some problems both w/ the show, and the representation. Catra and Adora have been queercoded up until the very end where it does get revealed that they are in fact lesbians. Which is great and all but at the end of the day. They kiss at the very end of the last episode, nothing was explicit before then. But the thing is that Catra is an abusive manipulative person, that kinda just gets a pat on the back, and all is forgiven when she realizes she’s alone(both in the fandom and the show). I mean glimmer got more hate than Catra. The point I’m trying to make is that I’ve seen way to many ppl ignore the fact that they side stepped the development of Catra and Adora, and kinda get mad at the ppl that criticize that we could have gotten better rep. For a lot of the fans, at least from what I’ve seen, yall are okay with the problems the show has as long as you get some form of rep. Which is valid, but when that complacency spills over into silencing ppl with criticisms. This usually happens when someone has had another experience with the show where the thing that represents them isnt done as well. it rubs me the wrong way. Someone could see Catra’s behavior, liken her to a toxic person they knew, criticize how the show kinda ignores that. I can bet that some ppl would tell this person that they’re wrong, because she ended up where she did at the end.

This brings me to my last example, during my watch of Infinity Train, I started getting a little bit more involved in the fandom; reblogging, commenting. During the show I noticed a small amount (larger than I would have liked) making passive aggressive remarks toward Grace (the only black girl and protagonist of the season). They were all in regard to her having a redmeption arc. At first I was kinda in denial. Like most ppl are immediately after suffering an injustice, cuz despite her being an awful person at first. She gets better. And there are so little black women that are protagonists. I felt represented. But then I’d see ppl demeaning her in order to make her friend Simon (basically the antagonist) more sympathetic. Mind you he’s white. And after the show ended I had a weird encounter. There were many posts about how enthralling it was that Grace, a black women, telling Simon, a white man, that his problems were his own, and she doesn’t have to be the one to fix them. Most of the ppl that made these posts were woc. The show isn’t about race, but the fact that the character is black resonated with a lot of ppl.

Under ever single one of these posts, I saw multiple people, getting weirdly angry at them. Like “this has nothing to do with race, why are you bringing it up here.” Which I guess is fair, but no one says it as much to ppl when the post is about sexuality. So getting fed up, I responded to one of these ppl explaining how odd it is that the characters that get really popular are always of the same archetype. White Sad Boys, it’s the same with ships. Instead of critiquing the show or anything I wanted to call attention to subconscious biases in fandom. The person accuses me of calling them racist, tells me that race isn’t an issue in fandom, and tried to gaslight me into thinking that what I was talking about doesnt apply to how ppl choose who their favorite character is.

This issue here isn’t about the race, or the actual content in the show. It was about the person telling me that the empowerment I and other woc experienced while watching infinity train s3, doesn’t exist and we shouldn’t criticize ppl putting her down in order to uplift the antagonist.

Which leads back to the point I’m trying to make. So many ppl in fandom settle for whats there instead of trying to make things more representative of everyone. Representation can always get better, we just have to stop fighting ppl that give constructive criticism to the things we like.

And I’m completely guilty of this too, that’s why I took a step back. I don’t like silencing ppl when they try to criticize something that resonates with me. So I try to sit back and let them tell me what can be done better based on their experiences. I’m still struggling. I’m pretty sure I was ultra defensive with the person telling me that race doesn’t matter.

This happens a lot more with white ppl than it does with people of color. And this isn’t a dig on any white person at all. It’s just that white have a vastly different experience than a poc. A white LGBT person is going to have a completely different experience than a black lgbt person. Just like a cishet white person is going to have from a poc cishet person. And since we have different experiences, there are aspects of my life you won’t understand and vice versa. An abuse survivor is going to be more equip to tell us what works better than other things in a story that tackles those subjects. You see what I mean.

I just want everyone to take a step back and consider the criticism that is being made. And try to understand why this person may see it that way.

TLDR; We need to stop silencing marginalized ppl just because they criticize things we relate to, especially when it pertains to their experiences. It’s settling for the bare minimum when we deserve better. Just because we’ve got a gay character doesnt mean the show is perfect. It happens way more than we think. Especially now more than ever.

Sorry this is so long, and full of typos. I just needed to rant.

#she ra spop #spop spoilers #she ra princess of power #infinity train #infinty train spoilers #rwby v7 #rwby volume 8 #rwby #queen of typos #just getting my thoughts out

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