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elleloquently · 1 year

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invisible string [8] : ellie williams

part seven

| college!ellie x female!reader - welcome to the final part of invisible string! i am so sad to be ending this short series, but extremely excited for you all to read it!! i really hope you'll like it... a lot of time was spent getting it right (: thank you guys for being so patient with me! also- thank you to all of my readers <3 special shout out to those of you who have been following this story since the first part was posted. your kindness and encouragement has meant everything to me <3 ilysm

| c/w - anxiety, swearing

it was jarring, the transition from speaking to not.

your friendship with ellie started all at once and fizzled out even quicker, no lasting proof besides the sticky notes that remained on your wall.

it felt silly, looking at them everyday. you wondered if it was inappropriate, keeping them around and on display. truthfully, you still had a little bit of hope left. if you took them down, that would certainly be the end.

she was only a part of your life for a short time, but the week had felt empty without ellie.

ellie hadn't made a move, so you didn't either.

the time apart made it easier to think though, easier to differentiate your thoughts without ellie clouding your senses.

normal friendships shouldn't feel so dramatic. they shouldn't have so many lingering stares, ghosting touches, and unsaid words. at least, you didn't think so. you hadn't experienced a friendship like that before. desperate to say it all yet too scared to say anything at all, you simultaneously wanted to tell ellie everything yet keep yourself a secret, a closed off book forever.

normal friendships shouldn't require that much thought.

the idea nagged at you continuously and you had no choice but to allow it. it was december, finals were wrapping up and the promise of winter break was no longer just around the corner, it was here.

things were always a little awkward, even when they were good. tension.

things hadn't felt weird in a bad way until the mention of jesse and dina. any color had promptly drained from ellie's face, and she was too quick to get away. you were confident that you hadn't misspoke. surely it was something on ellie's end, but it bothered you nonetheless. you had to have been apart of it.

thinking about ellie made you feel selfish, because it almost felt vain to weigh the ways in which she could potentially care about you. reading into stolen glances was a pastime that possibly could've been increasing your vanity. you didn't typically have such thoughts such as oh, i look pretty today, that must be why she keeps looking at me.

you missed looking at ellie. how pathetic but true, it had only been a few days but surely your journal was tired of hearing about it.

you quickly learned that ellie seemed a little impulsive, driven by her stubbornness. well, two can play at that game. you wouldn't even text her.

you half hoped that your absence would make her grow more fond at the idea of you, though maybe you had only pushed her away further. no texts, no anything.

sure, it was finals week. but still.

half of your clothes were packed away, piles around your room that you would swear was an organized method. studying didn't really do you any good, your last final was here and you were drained. you felt like an idiot for being more concerned about ellie, but you had done fine in the class all semester anyway.

snow was finally starting to pile on the ground. you would appreciate the beauty more after your final was finished, when it didn't matter if your hair grew wet from the melting flakes.

campus was quiet and relatively empty as you hurried to the building in which your final would take place. you liked being early, and refused to push the time limit for an exam. maybe the thought of seeing ellie again made your feet move a little quicker, but you focused on rehearsing the study guide in your head during your walk.

your heart pounded with every step. despite actually enjoying the class, you never felt relaxed at the idea of an exam. you had been so focused on ellie, it didn't really sink in that you would be sitting still in a silent room, clock ticking quietly as you would try your best to answer each question. what if you couldn't even focus?

it was too late to worry, and too early to resign yourself yet.

you made it in time, twenty minutes early, your specialty, but quite a few people already occupied the classroom. it wasn't anything out of the ordinary, though. people usually arrived early for finals. the satisfied smile slipped off of your lips however when you noticed that ellie wasn't around.

your heart dropped.

did she opt to take the exam early? what if you had already saw her for the last time, and you had no idea?

you sunk into your seat, wanting to text ellie but you were starting to forget the wording of a definition that you were trying to memorize last minute. sparing a quick glance at your phone, you decided to pull out your study guide instead for a last review.

how the fuck were you supposed to focus?

it was technically still early, but you pulse quickened everytime someone that wasn't ellie walked into the room.

what if ellie wasn't coming? even if things were weird, you guys had become friends. it would be fucked up just to never say bye, right? unless she wasn't as emotionally invested in the situation as you were... which, let's be honest...

the door was heaved open once again and you tried not to look disappointed when in walked a guy from your class. you refocused your gaze on your study notes when suddenly a muttered "thank you" pulled you out of your thoughts.

the guy was holding the door open for someone, but you didn't need to look to know who it was.

in walked ellie, shoulders straight and eyes set. you opened your mouth, ready to say something, but she walked right past you and towards the desk that she previously sat in, before you became friends.

your eyebrows furrowed and it felt like the final nail.

but she hesitated.

ellie hesitated before backpedaling and sat down in the empty spot next to you. the act alone practically gave you an ego.

she didn't glance at you even once, and somehow that felt even more obvious than if she would've looked at you. despite the circumstance you felt giddy, determined to redeem yourself for a mistake that you didn't even make.

you eyed ellie. she was trying so hard not to glance in your direction, it was cute. you had to try. you'd regret it if you didn't. you mentally debated which was worse, regret or embarrassment.

"so," you began, wanting to sound confident instead of squeaky with nerves. "on a scale of one to ten, how fucked do you think you are for the final?"

ellie's eyes widened and you tried, you really did, not to break out into a grin.

you continued. "i think i'm standing at a solid..." you pretended to think, drawing your eyebrows together as you looked to the ceiling, but you already knew what you were going to say. "...six?"

ellie snorted. "do you just memorize everything that i say?" she quipped, finally turning toward you.

your smile was sly once you looked away from her. "i don't know what you're talking about?"

ellie rolled her eyes, but you were finally speaking again and it was so good. a little late maybe, but good.

"don't copy me," ellie said, her words clipped. you knew she was joking. "anyway, you're gonna do better than a six. you organize your notes like a crazy person."

you frowned at the teasing statement but your heart skipped a beat anyway. ellie couldn't seem to meet your eyes and it made you feel greedy, desperate to get to the bottom of things.

"how have you been?" you asked, casually enough.

ellie looked at you as though you had posed a trick question.

"it's finals week," she replied flatly, but there was something else there.

you nodded. "right, but..." you quietly trailed off. there was no point in starting a big conversation with the exam merely minutes away.

ellie seemed visibly uncomfortable.

"the last time we talked, i..." ellie began to speak without knowing where she was going to end her sentence. you really needed to memorize that definition from earlier.

you flung open your notes. "it's fine," you dismissed. it wasn't really, but maybe you didn't want to do this now.

ellie winced. "it's not," she disagreed.

last week she had practically left you in the dust. now she wants to get confrontational?

"ellie," you frowned. "do you want to look through my notes? i have the ones from the section that i helped you with, that day in the library?" you looked up curiously, hand hovering over the pages incase she accepted.

ellie laughed, short and breathy. "i'm okay."

her tone was polite and light, a drastic change from how awkward she was just being. you carried on, quickly scanning paragraphs. cramming was never helpful, but you couldn't help yourself.

"i didn't really need your notes," ellie mumbled, looking away from you and at her hands instead.

you barely caught on to the uttered confession. "hm?"

her words took a second to register in your brain, to which you finally pulled your gaze away from your notes.

"are you declining my help in a passive aggressive way, or do you have something to say?" you asked quickly, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could think it over. the classrooms were always too hot this time of year. your hands felt too dry and the feeling of them against paper was driving you crazy.

"what? no," ellie quickly corrected, shifting nervously in her seat.

you leaned over to unzip your bag that was on the floor, leaning against your chair. "i was just asking," you mumbled, pulling a small bottle of lotion from it's secure place in your bag.

ellie watched carefully as you applied a small amount to your hands. the sweet, floral notes reached her nose and she craned her neck in an attempt to read the scent name on the decorated tube.

"ellie?" you pressed, zipping your bag shut once again when you were finished with the lotion. ellie's sentence was unfinished, and you were running on little to no patience.

"i'm sorry," she breathed out. it wasn't what you were expecting and you blinked in surprise.

you would've clung to her every word, but you'd rather it be saved until your finals were over. you couldn't tell if it was a good i'm sorry or a bad one, and the result might genuinely impact your grade. it had to be discussed, you couldn't live with it being left alone. you debated biting the bullet and just asking if she wanted to hang out, but the idea of rejection made you hot in the face.

there it was again, regret or embarrassment.

if she said no, the embarrassment would most likely creep over you every night when you tried to sleep, but at least you wouldn't have to face her again. last chance.

you came out of your thought by noticing the dejected look on ellie's face. right, she said sorry.

"ellie," you tried again. "are you busy after this... or, or tonight?" you tried not to make it sound weighted, but you didn't think that you succeeded.

something of a surprised smile registered on ellie's face that she tried to suppress.

"after this?" ellie questioned, her words rushed. there wasn't much time to converse anymore. the final exam was looming.

you nodded. ellie blinked. "yes. sure," she responded, a little dazed.

satisfaction bloomed within you. it wasn't over yet.

thank god, you didn't have to work your way through this exam battling tears of rejection and heartache.

you wanted to say more, but the time that you had been prepping for weeks was finally upon you. you were stupidly emotional about the class ending. this class brought you ellie. this final was the reason for your budding friendship with ellie. you didn't want whatever this was with ellie to end with the class. you would finish the exam, and then you would talk.

"hey," ellie muttered, getting your attention quickly before the exams were handed out. "good luck," she said warmly.

you didn't bother hiding your smile. "good luck," you replied sincerely. you spared ellie one more quick glance before tuning in to focus.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie left the exam before you did. she had finished first, only by a few minutes, but your heart raced. you were nearly done, just checking over answers when ellie had stood up, turned in her final, and left. she looked back at you before she had walked out of the doors. you had made eye contact. and then she was gone.

you skimmed all of the pages, making sure you had answered every question. your stomach hurt. did she leave? did she just leave?!

granted, of course, you could text her later. hopefully she would respond. but it was hard to make sense of any rational thoughts after the image of her leaving.

you did your best. you even felt fairly confident. you blindly gathered your things and turned in your exam, wishing your professor a final farewell and a happy winter break.

you pulled your phone out of your pocket upon exiting the classroom, hoping to see a text from ellie. instead, you simply saw ellie.

"oh," you said audibly.

ellie's head snapped up as soon as you appeared in the hallway. she was sitting on a bench outside of the classroom. she was waiting.

"how'd it go?" she asked hopefully.

you breathed a sigh of relief that turned into a laugh. she waited for you. the weight of the exam had been lifted off of your shoulders. now the only thing left that was bringing you down was where you stood with ellie.

"it's over," you mused, relieved that for a little while, there would be no assignments or tests to leave you in a tizzy. "what about you?"

ellie smiled in response, but her expression was lacking happiness. "we're free."

you nodded slowly, wanting to get on with it but at the same time feeling perfectly content with the small talk.

"so," you started, but the classroom door flung open causing you to flinch. another student completed the exam, exiting into the hallway. you stepped aside, drawing closer to ellie. "wanna get out of here?"

"do you have the time?" ellie questioned, looking at you almost accusingly.

your eyes narrowed. "yes," you emphasized. "that was my last exam. I am officially on winter break. also... you were the one that disappeared the last time we talked."

ellie paled, focusing her gaze on her converse. "yeah. about that..."

a small group of people came down the hallway. ellie stood up and gave you a look. "let's get out of here," she affirmed.

you trailed behind her, wringing your hands. what exactly were you even supposed to say? was this supposed to be some sort of all or nothing situation, because you really weren't very good at those...

once ellie noticed that you weren't at her side, she halted. "are... you okay?" she asked, looking unsure.

you nodded, eyes wide. you could see out of the doors, snow was falling once again. it was really starting to stick to the ground, too. the sight made your heart swell. "'it's snowing," you mumbled, awkwardly gesturing with your hand.

ellie let out a dry chuckle. "yeah, it is," she remarked, a soft smile painting itself on her lips. "wanna go to my dorm?"

you nodded once more, absentmindedly. ellie held the door open and you stepped outside, mentally welcoming the snow.

the walk was quiet. awkward. neither of you bothered with anymore small talk. it felt weird, saving the conversation until you arrived in ellie's dorm. you were anxious to see if she still had your doodles on her wall.

you made it in record time, motivated by the cold and slippery sidewalk. ellie laughed at you once you entered the building, stomping your shoes to rid them of any snow.

"you have snowflakes. in your eyelashes," ellie murmured, placing a careful hand under your chin to direct your gaze so she could examine them.

you stilled and held your breath, the feeling of her touch warming your body so much that you felt desperate to shed your coat.

"they'll melt," you whispered with an uneasy laugh.

ellie caught herself and removed her touch. your stomach flipped.

"i thought one time you said something about not liking when they melted on your eyelashes. something about your mascara running?" ellie teased, leading the way to her room.

"yeah, so i buy waterproof," you explained as if it were obvious.

ellie clicked her tongue and unlocked her door. "right. silly me," she breathed, stepping aside to let you into her room first. every action like that brought you butterflies.

you tried not to make it obvious, but you immediately looked for the notes on her wall. once your eyes landed on them, you breathed a sigh of relief. they were still there. suddenly you didn't feel so weird about keeping them on your wall either.

the room smelled like ellie. you wanted to soak it in.

ellie took off her coat, placed her bag on the floor and then dropped her coat on top of it. you followed suit, tucking your bag into a corner and shrugging off your coat. you were going to put it on the floor too, but ellie grabbed it from your hand and hung it on the back of a chair.

your cheeks warmed and you looked away.

"i feel like we should be studying or something," you tried with a small laugh.

"or something," ellie mused.

she sat on her bed, legs hanging over the side. you stood in front of ellie, avoiding eye contact.

"can i get you anything?" ellie awkwardly offered after a moment. "i don't have much left but i can offer you the water that's left in my bottle."

you rolled your eyes despite the corners of your lips, which quirked upwards. "charming. i'll pass, thank you."

"suit yourself," ellie sighed.

you were both trying way too hard to sound nonchalant. you hated it.

you stood awkwardly, not sure what to do with your hands. after a moment of hesitation, you finally made the plunge.

"ellie, did i like... say something? or do... something?"

you were scared of her answer, scared that maybe you really had been embarrassing yourself all along and now you wouldn't hear the end of it.

she looked resigned. you could tell that she was debating something, the way her eyes flicked away from your face and her eyebrows drew together.

"you didn't do anything," ellie confirmed. you could tell that she was physically working up to something. "i thought maybe... dina and jesse? i thought they might've said something stupid," she uttered.

you tilted your head in confusion, but your heart beat sped up. your mind flashed back to that moment, someone that ellie likes.

"they didn't," you reassured.

"yeaah, that's what they said too. i guess i just kinda... freaked." ellie replied, scratching the back of her neck.

"they were really nice," you offered awkwardly. "i didn't mean to make you feel weird or anything."

you even tried to avoid it, but you didn't have to explain that now. it's not like you would have actually hung out with dina and jesse... no offense to them of course, but you didn't know them so the idea made you feel extremely uncomfortable.

"you didn't," ellie pressed, adamant about not making you feel bad. "i thought that maybe i did."

you scrunched up your nose. "is that why you said the thing about freaking me out? because you really didn't."

ellie nodded. "i just thought they said something dumb. or something they shouldn't have said," she reiterated. ellie kicked off her converse.

your eyes widened, immediately thinking the worst. surely ellie was not the type of person to be nice to your face and then talk poorly about you to her friends? you honestly felt that if she didn't like you, you obviously wouldn't be standing in her room. still, the nagging thought persisted.

"something like what?" you asked, your voice coming out sharper than you intended.

"nothing bad, i just- dude, i feel like i'm on trial when you're just standing there like that."

your cheeks heated in embarrassment. "sorry," you mumbled, taking off your shoes and carefully tucking them next to your bag. you sat on the edge of her bed, and ellie turned to face you.

ellie's eyes scanned your features once you sighed.

"this is so dumb," you muttered. to your surprise, ellie laughed in relief.

"i was being weird. and i shouldn't have been," ellie clarified. "i'm sorry i made you feel bad."

the sincerity made you feel awkward. "it's okay. we're good?"

"we're good," ellie confirmed.

you blinked, forcing a smile onto your face. you were ready for this part to be over but there was still so much to be said.

you tore your eyes away from ellie, studying the solar system poster above her bed. "i still haven't seen the planetarium," you uttered wistfully.

ellie tilted her head, staring at you while you were unaware. "i'll take you," she said automatically, the words leaving her before she was able to doubt herself.

a ghost of a smile flickered on your lips.

"i think i've only been to a planetarium a couple times, as a kid," you said, eyes glancing over the starry map.

ellie smiled, quickly glancing from your lips to your eyes.

"for my sixteenth birthday, joel took me to this awesome museum," ellie began. her tone was wistful yet determined, voice laced with her best storytelling inflections.

you turned to face her again. ellie's eyes lit up while she spoke.

"it was a science and history museum," ellie explained. you smiled at her easy enthusiasm. "-and it had this planetarium that was the coolest fucking thing i've ever seen."

the smile quickly left your lips once your mouth dropped open in realization. "oh! the pictures!" you scrambled off of ellie's bed, leaving her to look confused and mildly concerned.

"pictures?" she questioned, getting up to follow after you. you lead her to the wall that was covered in all of her drawings and photos. you could've sworn that you remembered them. you scanned her wall, looking for two pictures in particular as your face scrunched up in concentration.

"there!" you pointed excitedly. the two photos that you remembered, ellie in an astronaut helmet grinning wildly at the camera, and ellie and joel wearing hats, posed in front of a massive dinosaur display.

"are those from your birthday?" you asked, stomach twisting with your words. you hoped that you were right, or else it might be embarrassing. maybe it was embarrassing anyway, the fact that you had so vividly remembered those photos.

ellie chuckled. "yeah actually, they are."

ellie bumped your shoulder, causing you to grin at her decorated wall.

"i love how many pictures you have," you sighed. "i have such a cute camera, but i always forget to take pictures in the moment." you explained with a frown.

"bring it when we go to the planetarium," ellie suggested plainly, as if her entire sentence didn't completely cause your pulse to quicken.

when.

we.

"okay," you replied flatly, wondering if ellie could tell how uneven your breathing had gotten. fueled by blind courage, you stared at astronaut ellie when you spoke. "i'm leaving tomorrow, though. going home for break."

"we'll go after break," she clarified, looking at you.

you turned your head to meet her eyes, willing yourself not to flinch at how close your faces were. the green of her eyes were always enchanting, but this close?

you swallowed hard. "okay," you agreed.

and it was official. ellie wanted to keep seeing you after break. you had done the impossible college task, turn a class friend into a real friend.

friend. honestly, it was laughable.

"okay," ellie repeated in a whisper. her eyes bore into yours and you were frozen, wanting to pull away but your body stayed still, feet planted. she was so intense.

you forced your body to move, turning your head away from her and taking a step back. you heard ellie sigh as you moved.

"i was never trying to blow you off," you confessed suddenly, once your back was to ellie.

you obviously had caught her off guard by the way in which she hummed in surprise. admittedly, you had caught yourself off guard too, but it had been weighing on your conscience too much. you couldn't ignore the signs anymore, and as much as you would have loved to wait around for ellie to make the first move, she was too concerned about potentially freaking you out.

"remember when you asked me if i wanted to go to the dining hall with you? the first time," you clarified. "and i said that i was free the rest of the day." you busied yourself by straightening the green throw blanket on ellie's bed.

ellie nodded, even though your back was turned. "yeah?"

"and then i stopped hanging out with you after class."

"yeah."

"i... um, i lied," you confessed suddenly, whirling around to face her.

ellie's features were etched in confusion. "lied about what?" she pressed, her voice low.

all of your insecurities felt heightened by how intensely she was staring at you. you felt cowardly, explaining the next part.

"i lied about being free?" you mumbled, face hot.

ellie's eyebrows knitted together, as if to say go on...

"i have another class on those days, like, about an hour later. but... i lied and said i was done for the day because... i wanted to... hang out?"

you mentally lost your footing but got there eventually, holding your breath once you finished your sentence. the silence was daunting until ellie suddenly laughed.

"are you fucking kidding me?" she asked, eyes wide.

"n-no?"

ellie shook her head. "why didn't you just tell me that?" ellie laughed, clearly amused.

"because it's embarrassing?" you said, believing it to be obvious.

"well, yeah," ellie mused. you visibly deflated.

ellie managed to hold back her laughter as she took a small step towards you. "you could've told me," she reiterated more seriously.

"sure i could've," you mumbled, rolling your eyes. "i was too nervous. it felt so stupid."

"you skipped class to hang out with me?" ellie's eyes glinted with bemusement. you wished she would stop looking at you, you needed a break. you quite literally felt like you were burning up.

"so what?" you snapped in defense, and ellie's laughter escaped her. you frowned, crossing your arms.

"i just wish that i knew that before," ellie shrugged, taking another step towards you. you countered it by taking a small step backwards.

"yeah well..." you shrugged. "i'm sorry. it's weird."

ellie immediately shook her head. "it's not," she pressed. she went from joking to being serious so quickly. god she made your head spin.

"i just didn't wanna-" you were quickly cut off by ellie.

"freak me out?" she finished. your blank expression was enough of a confirmation.

"imagine how i felt," ellie pointed out. "i thought that maybe i... i don't know," she shrugged it off. it wasn't fair, you were totally embarrassed and she kept brushing things off. it was infuriating. she looked so cute in her hoodie.

"maybe you what?" you pressed once again. finish your sentences, ellie.

ellie took a deep breath. "maybe i scared you off."

you shook your head slowly. yeah, these conversations were not typical in normal friendships.

"you didn't," you said. your words were quiet but weighted. you prayed for ellie to catch onto the implication. please please please-

ellie took a step closer. you took a step back. your body knocked against ellie's bed and you straightened your knees.

"good," she said simply, not breaking eye contact.

"okay, enough about that," you laughed weakly. "why did you want to hang out with me in the first place?" you questioned, attempting to change your tone.

ellie's eyebrows raised. "seriously?" she asked flatly, unimpressed with your question.

whatever. this so wasn't fun.

"how would you recommend going about making friends?" ellie asked tauntingly.

"oh, you're putting me on the spot again. let's not do that anymore," you suggested. ellie laughed suddenly and rolled her eyes.

"my bad," she joked, throwing her hands in the air to resign. you smiled but the butterflies in your stomach made you feel sick.

you threw her an accusing look but she grinned, enjoying whatever this situation was. you almost felt jealous, wondering what it was that you could have possibly done that managed to boost her confidence.

"besides, you never answer any of my questions," you argued.

"well you just have so many," ellie mumbled and then frowned. "and yes i do," she defended. "i just answered your question about those pictures being from my birthday."

"ellie," you complained.

ellie mocked your tone, saying your name as a complaint.

you appeared unamused, willing the corners of your lips not to turn up.

ellie dropped the joke-y smile and genuinely appeared to be conflicted. you worried that you pressed too far, maybe things didn't need to come out right now, but you stayed silent anyway.

"fine," ellie finally said. "ask me."

"ask you what?" you quickly questioned.

"just ask me."

heart pounding, you remained still as ellie took another hesitant step towards you. you felt as though there were so many things that could go wrong. it was all dangling, right in front of you. one wrong move or one right move, you couldn't decide which it was, and everything would be out in the open. you were terrified, wanting to immediately backpedal but at the same time, you were starting to feel addicted to the adrenaline of being around ellie. you wanted to ask her so many questions but also, nothing at all.

at once it came to you, and the final exam that you had just taken felt like it had been days ago.

you wrinkled your nose. "what did you mean when you said you didn't really need my notes?"

the expression that registered on ellie's face made you feel as though you had asked the incorrect question.

"i just mean, you didn't say that you don't need my notes, you said that you didn't need my notes which doesn't make sense because-"

"i lied," ellie cut you off.

you gaped at her and ellie took another step, this one even more hesitant. you couldn't move away any further. you resigned and sat down on her bed.

"about what?" you asked, and your voice came out more quiet than you had intended. you felt like your heart was pounding in your ears.

"i didn't need your notes."

"i know, you said you didn't but-"

"no, i didn't need your notes," ellie tried again. "i never needed your notes."

she was treading lightly and you could tell. ellie tried meeting your eyes, but you stared down at your hands in your lap.

"you never needed my notes," you repeated softly.

ellie nodded once, encouraging your train of thought. she let it linger, only for a moment before clarifying. "in the library. the study group."

what?

"you never needed my notes?" your head snapped up, eyes wide as you finally met ellie's gaze. she slowly shook her head, trying to gage your reaction.

you felt humiliated, as if you had forced ellie to study with you even though that certainly wasn't the case at all. she had even encouraged it, initiated it even, but dread still filled a pit in your stomach.

"but you said that you were there for the study group!" you said, grasping for straws. ellie chuckled.

"yeah, i was. just not for the reason you thought."

you tilted your head to the side. "go on," you said, raising an eyebrow.

"i didn't need help. i wasn't there to get help. i was actually there to give help, but the person didn't show up," ellie explained.

you blinked once, slowly. you repeated her words in your mind. you let it sink in.

"oh my god," you muttered, partly in disbelief. "why did you let me help you?"

"becauuse," ellie carefully sat next to you. "i figured... if you thought that i needed help, you would stay."

her expression remained stoic despite the red blush that was creeping up onto her face. your stomach flipped.

"and i stayed," you uttered.

"you stayed," ellie confirmed. "mission accomplished," she offered weakly.

she wanted you to stay. she acted like she needed your notes so you would stay.

ellie was watching you carefully, but you didn't feel pressured to react. you wiped your palms on your pants.

"okay," you began calmly. "i hate study groups. i hate the awkward conversation, being around people that never actually speak to me. i never go to those things. the only reason that i went was because you asked me about it in class. and so i thought that i might see you there. and i wanted to see you," you added the last part, letting the words fall into the open.

"you're fucking with me," ellie immediately said.

"i'm not," you argued, defensive and buzzing.

ellie clicked her tongue in disbelief, eyeing you. shorter strands of hair always fell into her face. you wanted to swipe them away.

"jesus," ellie mused.

"is that why you wanted me to stay? you wanted to be friends?"

ellie winced at friends, and you inwardly cringed.

dear god.

"not friends," you quickly clarified. "well, friends, but..." your voice failed you, but maybe it was for the better. you wished you weren't wearing a sweater, too warm.

ellie said your name, quietly to get your attention. you met her eyes. her mouth slipped into a sly smile when she spoke.

"i sat next you because i thought that you were pretty," she uttered pointedly.

oh! like like like!

your mind and face went blank. "oh," you laughed after a second.

"oh?" ellie questioned, watching you carefully.

ellie leaned into you, elbows propped on her legs. you swallowed hard. you felt like you were watching yourself instead of actively experiencing what was happening. it was dreamlike.

"you're the only reason i haven't skipped class all semester," you blurted out. you grimaced, twisting it into a nervous smile. okay, sure, no time like the present.

ellie looked at you curiously, cocking her head to the side. "really?"

"really," you confirmed, running your fingers along the blanket on her bed.

"you definitely weren't obvious," ellie murmured, looking at you in amusement.

"i wasn't supposed to be, are you kidding? this is humiliating."

"is it?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern despite the smirk on her face.

"sort of? oh my god, i feel so dumb. i had the biggest-" you paused in hesitation, the word crush hadn't been used yet and you were reluctant to be the first.

like like like!

"i wanted to talk to you all semester," you corrected, still burning with embarrassment. "and when you sat next to me, well, i know that technically i sat next to you but that was my seat first so really all i was doing was sitting in my normal seat where i had sat every other day but then you decided to move seats so really-"

you rambles were cut off, surprisingly, pleasantly, by ellie leaning inwards and placing her hands on your shoulders. you were suddenly pulled towards her as ellie closed the gap between the two of you.

her lips, warm and a little chapped, met your own without a moment's notice. your eyes widened in surprise before you forced them shut, melting into ellie as she brought a careful hand to the side of your face. your heart pounded, butterflies exploded in your stomach and yet you tried not to think, only to enjoy it.

like!

the kiss lasted merely seconds before ellie pulled away, lifting her hands away from you. they hovered above you, the ghost of her touch lingering. you already missed it. ellie quickly scanned your face for any indication of feeling.

you were lost for words, every hopeless hope that you had held and carried with you for weeks turned out not to be hopeless after all. now probably wasn’t the best time to feel shy, but nerves consumed you.

despite them though, you laughed. “so when jesse said someone that ellie likes…”

“yes,” ellie confirmed.

you grinned. “me too.”

“yeah?” ellie asked softly.

you hummed in response, allowing your eyes to flutter shut as ellie leaned in once again. you allowed yourself to be kissed, drowning out your nervous feelings with complete and total bliss.

you pulled away first this time, drawing your knees up to your chest.

"how long?" you inquired, peering to the spot on the wall where the sticky notes were on display.

"since the first day, when a pretty girl was in my class and i had to take the seat in front of her."

"me?" you whispered, as if you were being let in on a secret. in a way, you supposed, you were.

ellie nodded enthusiastically.

"me too," you said with a frown. "good thing you finally spoke to me, 'cause class would've ended before i had the chance."

"good thing," ellie agreed with a hum. you wanted to kiss her again.

"so, is there a reason i got invited to lunch? they said something about you canceling all the time," you mused.

ellie waved it off. "just dina being dina. i was canceling but... there was only so much time left in the semester to try and impress you," ellie joked wistfully.

you shook your head in disbelief. "i can't believe this."

"you? what about me?" ellie countered. "when i saw you that night at the bar, with that guy? god, i was fucking praying that you didn't have a boyfriend or something."

"cute," you responded simply, to which ellie wrinkled her nose.

"oh, and when i gave you my number?" ellie continued on, talking animatedly now. "and you didn't text me at all during the entire weekend?" ellie shook her head, letting out a breathy laugh. "i thought it was over for me."

"i was so scared," you admitted.

"it's okay," ellie reassured you. "we got to the bottom of it."

you smiled, looking at your hands. the silence that ensued was comfortable.

"were you ever going to tell me?" you asked finally.

ellie sighed heavily, scanning your face. "i don't know. i wasn't sure if you wanted me to. i had to be sure." she looked down at your hands, fidgeting and wringing.

you nodded in understanding. "you were sort of driving me crazy these past few weeks. i couldn't tell if you actually liked me or if i was overreacting to everything."

"oh, join the club," ellie mused.

okay, note to self, trust your gut feeling. unless anxiety is controlling your gut feeling. then… disregard completely. other note to self, try to figure out the difference between a real gut feeling and an anxious, fake gut feeling.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

you talked and talked with ellie until the sun went down. you had hardly noticed it had gotten dark. the shades and curtains were open, once letting in the natural light from the day. the room grew dark as night fell, but neither of you moved from the bed. you sat, talking and laughing and whispering and you wondered how cheesy you would seem if you pinched yourself.

time ticked by no matter how much you opposed it, and the threat of morning weighed heavy on you.

"i'll walk you," ellie insisted once you were putting on your shoes.

you glanced out of the window. snow was piling up quickly. it was beautiful to look at, but you dreaded the walk back to your dorm.

"are you kidding? no way," you refused. you felt bad enough the last time that ellie had walked you home, and that night's weather was nice compared to tonight.

"are you kidding?" ellie began putting on her shoes, lacing up her converse.

"i'm just going to go," you threatened flatly.

"okay, i'll just trail behind you and try not to look like a total creep," ellie retorted.

you pushed out a breath of air, trying not to smile. ellie had her jacket on quicker than you did anyway.

when ellie asked if you had gloves this time, you were proud to pull them out of your coat pocket to show her.

"a hat?" ellie questioned next.

"i can't find my earmuffs," you grumbled.

in response, ellie placed her own hat on your head, tugging it down so that it covered your ears with a look of determination on her face.

the walk was peaceful, though trudging through the quickly fallen snow had proven to be difficult. it was beautiful though, and ellie guided you with a careful hand on your arm so you could focus your gaze upward, at the falling snowflakes.

when you arrived at your dorm, you both hesitated in the cold despite your noses turning red.

"ellie, do you want to come in fo-"

"yes," ellie quickly answered. you grinned.

yourself and ellie spent two more hours talking together. you stood back and observed while ellie paced around your room, looking at pictures and trinkets. everything about her was endearing. the shy smile that graced her lips upon seeing the sticky notes on your wall was the reason behind your third kiss that night.

when ellie finally had to leave, she parted with promises to text when she had made it safely. and she did.

you traced her name from the sticky note over and over, emotions swelling inside of you. despite the calm you felt fairly overwhelmed, left with so much to process. positively overwhelmed, at least. no longer would you lose sleep, analyzing and overthinking trying to figure out if ellie could truly like you.

like like like!

you would see her again after break, it was certain. you would text her, not worrying if ellie didn't really want you to have her number.

after all, she gave it to you for a reason... just as she reminded you before leaving for her dorm.

so of course, you promised to text her.

and you did.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@pinkfillerose @whore-era @lilisvlibrary @elliefilms @whteflwcrs @jasontoddsdreamgirl @icedcold @sarahsmileslikesarahd0esntcare @evanpetersluver @muthafuckingstargirl @pctcr @illicitghosts @mell0w-mushr00m @queen-arya22 @deafelliewilliams @urmyheartshaka @yourfrenchteacher @me-and-your-husband @blairfox04 @saturnsrem @poopedmypants47 @shehitdenaenae @jrjlc

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams college au #ellie tlou x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie tlou x female reader #ellie williams fanfic

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sirfrogsworth · 2 months

Text

Thoughts on Live Action Avatar: TLA

I'm sure people are going to hate this. Some for valid reasons. Some because of endless nitpicking that really has no bearing on how good or bad it actually was. Some because they have already chosen to hate it and it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But I always root for things to be good. I want them to succeed. And I always go into everything I watch with the hope and expectation it will be good. I turn off my critical brain and try to just experience the show for what it is. As I said, I saw no trailers. I read no reviews. I knew almost nothing about the production of this going in.

Initially, things were rough... buddy.

And I think that is a longstanding problem with live action TV shows in general. I am always reminded of Star Trek TNG and how it took two seasons (48 episodes) before they figured out what the hell they were doing. Back then shows were able to find their footing and grow and learn. Actors were given time to find their characters and understand them and finally become them.

But now, every show has to be amazing from the start or they get cancelled. And I think people have become very unforgiving of first seasons as well. I feel like not enough people consider the potential of something getting better. And I think that is a shame.

So, yes, Avatar started out rough. They tried to cram all of the exposition into the first 20 minutes. And that was unpleasant. The effects were jarring at first. It is incredibly difficult to translate animation into live action. And please don't say the CGI was "bad." It wasn't. There was just so much that needed to be packed into every frame of this show to make it work, and finding a way to make it all seamlessly blend is a monumental task. I think the artists did an amazing job with the constraints of essentially making an 8 hour movie in the time usually given a 2 hour one.

But as the show continued, the actors seemed more comfortable in their roles. The showrunners seemed to figure out what worked and what didn't. The quality across the board started to improve. Especially when they started to deviate a little bit from following the cartoon. I also noticed that the effects that were jarring in the beginning eventually stopped bothering me and breaking immersion. I got used to them and was able to just focus on the story. And I think they got a little better as well. The bending was much more convincing as the show progressed. And it was a bajillion times better than the slow-motion bending of that movie that shall not be named.

And by the final episode, I was all in. The Avatar monster was really cool. And I was crying my eyes out and having all kinds of emotions. And there were some changes they made to the story which I actually thought made more sense. And I was glad this show was doing a few things to differentiate rather than being an exact carbon copy.

It won me over.

And I know it won't do that for everyone. And perhaps I am forgiving a lot of sins just because I wanted it to be good. The original was my absolute favorite show of all time. I just liked spending time with these characters again.

But I liked it more than I didn't and I'm hoping that is the general consensus, but I fear that is not the case.

Things I really liked...

I thought the actor playing Sokka was really great. They didn't give him enough humorous material. But I think this kid absolutely nailed the role. And if this gets another season, I do hope he can show Sokka's lighter side a bit more.

Ken Leung also did amazing as Zhao. I think he surpassed his cartoon counterpart in villainy. I loved hating him.

The final battle was beautiful. I think they probably dedicated a lot of resources to that. Maybe at the expense of other things. But I think it was worth it to end strong.

In the first season of the cartoon, the trauma was often skipped over or kept very brief. I'm sure the idea of dealing with genocide and war time trauma was not an easy sell to Nickelodeon initially. But they did actually take the time to show some of that trauma, especially with Katara and Sokka. And I cried a bunch.

They seemed to go to considerable effort to have a diverse cast. I am glad they learned that lesson from the movie.

That said, they probably could have brought back Dee Bradley Baker to make the animal noises. This might have been an overcorrection...

I guess this will give the anti-wokesters something to complain about since the original was already super woke and it is probably a challenge to complain about the new thing being woke as well. Though I'm sure they are up to the challenge.

Things I didn't care for...

The compressed timeline caused a few stories to be combined and accelerated. I understand why that was necessary. But there were some important moments of character growth that got lost.

Sokka's missing sexism. I think it is much more useful to see someone grow and change and let go of their problematic traits than to pretend that never existed. Sokka's sexism was a symbol of the conservative views within water tribe culture in general. It was also foreshadowing for the conflict with Pakku (which was also minimized). I just think young viewers seeing a character overcome ingrained ideals has a greater influence than just erasing that aspect from the character.

Things I hated...

Princess Yue's hair. You get the amazing Amber Midthunder to play Yue, and she does an amazing job with extremely abbreviated screen time, but I couldn't stop staring at whatever that was they put on her noggin. I know I criticized people for nitpicking, but that was very distracting. I don't know exactly how it could have been done better, but I worry a great performance is going to get overshadowed by... hair.

In conclusion...

I think the people making this show loved the source material. I can see that love. I think they tried very hard to make the best show possible. And I also know they are probably going to get a lot of hate. I still haven't looked at the reviews because I didn't want to be influenced when writing this. But I can feel the review bombing as we speak.

But this was not a Witcher situation where the writers didn't respect the source material. This was displaying how incredibly difficult it is to convert one of the most beautifully animated shows in existence into live action. Maybe that is an argument for not making live action versions. Though I usually love them when they work and am happy both versions exist.

I really hope people can remember the original still exists and they can completely disregard this and watch the cartoon any time they wish. This doesn't have to "ruin their childhood." These two things can exist and everyone is perfectly capable of ignoring all of the live action material.

But I do hope this gets another season. I think that final episode showed the potential. I think the cast was getting comfortable in their roles and they deserve another chance to show what they can do.

I love Paul Sun-Hyung Lee and I think he was a great choice for Iroh. But Mako's shoes are probably the biggest shoes in the existence of shoes to try and fill. I do not envy the task he was given. But every once in a while I saw that Mako spirit come out in his performance and I think he could use another season to really find that and show us what he is capable of.

This felt a lot like The Phantom Menace to me. There was actually a ton of amazing stuff to love in that movie. But it didn't quite work the way the original movies did. But I think this was good enough to hope for the future.

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the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf · 10 months

Text

Be Kind - James Wilson x peds!reader

description - When your job surrounds you with so much sadness and negativity, it is hard to maintain your own sunshine. But James will always be there to pick up the pieces of your broken crown.

warnings - angst, crying, blood, CPR, mentions of death

word count - 1.9k

requested - no

authors note - yeah I do really like writing angst. I think it's just because I want someone to comfort me how James comforts the reader.

Masterlist

REQUESTS OPEN - request here

-x-x-x-x-x-

Y/n trotted down the corridor on her way to House’s office. Her arms were ladened with various crafting elements. Paper, glitter, glue, and scissors but not proper scissors, only the really blunt ones. Cuddy had warned her if there was another ‘crafting incident’ she wouldn’t be allowed to play with the kids for at least a week. Cuddy knew where to hit her as y/n couldn’t think of anything worse. She still needed to pick up her special box of buttons and ribbon she’d left in James’ office last night. He’d stayed late to finish some paperwork, and she hadn’t wanted him to be alone, so she stayed with him. She had sat criss-cross on his sofa, busily constructing a special sign for a little boy’s room. James had found a tumour and the boy would need to stay in for radiation. James had told her all of this and she had immediately set out crafting wanting him to feel as comfortable in his hospital room as possible.

Y/n finally arrived at the glass office of the differential diagnostics team. Her arms were so full she knocked using her pale pink sneaker. Yes, she could have just entered but she didn’t want to be rude, and they did seem to be in the middle of a case so she didn’t want to interrupt.

“I’m going to let you in anyway, so why bother knocking, especially when you don’t have the corresponding body part available.” House pushed himself up from the table he was leaning on and hobbled over to open the door for the bubbly doctor.

“I didn’t want to assume.” Grinning at the kind gesture from the morose man, she made her way into the room, continuing to juggle her many objects as each began slipping more and more. Cameron rose from her position quickly to relieve her of the glue and scissors. She was rewarded with a soft thank you and a chuckle. Cameron placed the objects on the table and returned to her seat. Each of the three House minions looked on at the woman with curiosity.

“Nice crown.” House gestured up at her head with his cane. Upon it sat a sparkly, plastic, gold tiara which was adorned with pale pink fluff.

“Why thank you! Today I have a very important tea party with Princess Melissa in room 103.” She spoke to the room as if announcing a royal wedding. She became giddy when her gaze landed on the three doctors whom she had yet had a chance to bond with. “Ooo you guys should come too! She’d love more people there; I worry she gets bored with just me. What do you think?”

The three were affronted with such a weird question. Chase was the first to speak after clearing his throat.

“We do have a case on.”

Foreman was the next to give his opinion. “Yeah, a woman with 24 hours to live means we can’t exactly sit around playing pretend.”

Cameron, ever the ‘nice one’ finished with “But thank you for inviting us.”

“Oh, I see.” Her face fell slightly. “Another time then.”

House silently observed his team. Paying close attention to their minute reactions.

Collecting herself, y/n then turned to House. “Cuddy wanted me to tell you, and I quote, ‘the nurses aren’t morons and that in the clinic the nurses record their own time, regardless of what time you give them when you leave.’” House suddenly struck a face like a child who’d been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

The silence in the room became suffocating and y/n couldn’t take it anymore, fearing she’d said something wrong when she looked at the uncomfortable expressions of Chase, Foreman, and Cameron.

“I should go, I left something in James’ office.” She picked up her supplies and left through the door. Her feet shuffling slightly more, and her shoulders had a more noticeable slump. When the door closed Foreman exhaled the breath he had been trying to hold ever since the ball of pink clouds entered the room.

“How did that girl even get through medical school. She can’t be serious. We’re here working against the clock to save people and she’s down there in peds drawing pictures and sipping on air.”

“Who’s she helping doing that? What if one of her patients went into cardiac arrest, how long would it take the ditzy princess to act.” They all let out a giggle at Chase’s joke, trying to imagine the bubbly doctor doing CPR whilst wearing a tiara. Foreman high fived Chase.

“Interesting observations,” House finally spoke up, curious at the opinions of his team. “What about you?” He said directed towards Cameron.

Cameron opened her mouth but nothing came out. She finally relented. “She seems nice, but we’re here to do a job and when we don’t, people die. She looks after kids. You can’t mess about there.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

*your pov*

I stood just to the side of where the glass of the office began. I took in a breath, willing my tears away after listening to them. I know I shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but they should have waited at least a minute after I left to start talking about me. That’s how you successfully talk behind someone’s back. I couldn’t believe their words. We hadn’t known each other long but they had all seemed nice and I was excited to get to know them all. Maybe I came on too strong and that’s what put them off. I’ve been told to tone down my enthusiasm before, and I didn’t want them thinking I’m a joke. These thoughts swirled through my mind as I dragged my feet down the hall to James’ office.

I knocked on the door.

“Come in. Hi baby. How’re you?” James immediately noticed the change in my body as I slumped down into the chair opposite him. I fidgeted with my fingers so I could avoid looking into his eyes, afraid that one gaze would break the dam. But he knew me too well.

“What’s wrong?”

“Am I a good doctor?”

He was shocked by such a question and exhaled in a sort of chuckle. “Darling, why would you ask me that, you are the most talented doctor in this hospital.”

“House is in this hospital.” I said, smirking at his exaggeration.

“And he doesn’t hold a candle to your brilliance. Being a doctor isn’t solely about intelligence. There needs to be compassion, drive, empathy, persistence, optimism. In those respects, you are ten times the doctor he is.”

A tear dripped out of my eye, and I furiously rubbed it away whilst I smiled at what he said. “Thank you.”

Seeing this was more serious than he thought, he rounded the table and kneeled in front of the chair. James gathered me in his arms and stroked the exposed skin of my arm with his thumb. It instantly soothed my nerves.

“What’s brought this on, darling?” He spoke whilst kissing my hair. I dragged the forgotten tiara off of my head, suddenly embarrassed by its presence.

“You can’t deny I am quite a weird doctor. I play games, I wear crowns, I do arts and crafts with patients for crying out loud. Maybe if I didn’t spend so much time playing, I could be a better doctor and do more for my patients.” He was taken aback.

“How dare you say you could ‘do more’. No one in this hospital does more than you and every patient who passes through your care is lucky to have you!”

This did pull out a genuine smile from me.

“You can be anything in this world, and, everyday, you choose to be kind. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

I turned in his arms and pulled him into a bear hug. I squeezed him tight as I buried my head in his neck, practically inhaling the comforting smell. When we ended the hug, he picked up the forgotten tiara.

“By the way, Henry has already put his sign up on his door and wanted me to thank you and invite you to his room for biscuits that I snuck away from the lunch trolly.” He placed the tiara back on my head. I gazed down at him, my eyes still slightly teary, and thanked every star above us for bringing this man into my life.

His face took on a sterner appearance. “Darling, what brought this on?”

-x-x-x-x-x-

*Wilson’s pov*

I ripped open the door of House’s office. Anger bubbled through my veins and motivated my movements.

“Do not speak about her ever!” The three minions jumped at my sudden loud voice, having rarely seen my temper.

“We’re actually kind of-“ “Stay out of this!” The finger, pointed at the three, then warned House to stop speaking.

“I am going to say this only once. I do not know exactly what you said but I do know that she is upset and that is unacceptable. If you have a problem with the way she goes about her job, keep it to yourself, as her many accolades and track record show she is doing an excellent job without your help. Her patients trust her, their families trust her. And if to gain that trust she has to put on a tutu and go to a tea party once in a while then she’s going to do it because that is the kind of person she is.” By this point my voice was raised to the max before it became yelling. I stared each of them down, so they felt the full extent of my words.

“Believe it or not, that stuff you view as frivolous, she enjoys doing. The children who come into her care don’t have much and she brings a little bit of light back into their lives.” By this point my anger had clouded my mind and I’m pretty sure I was just on a tangent now. I couldn’t think of an end for my rant, my head was just filled of her, and thinking about how upset she had been physically hurt me.

After pacing for a few seconds and rubbing my hands over my face, I made my way towards the door. But I stopped short and turned back to the stunned faces of the three doctors.

“If there is one thing from house’s lessons that I am going to un-teach you it is this; never mistake kindness for weakness, or positivity for stupidity.”

I left the room with a veritable slam of the door.

-x-x-x-x-x-

A silence settled over the room after Wilson had left. No one wanted to speak as the power of the rant still hung heavy in the room.

“As punishment, you’re all on ER duty.” House broke the tension and was met with a resounding mix of complaints and shocks. “Enough! Get out!”

They were all shocked into submission and left the room. They had all heard House angry before, of course, but rarely in the defence of someone else.

-x-x-x-x-x-

Chase, Cameron, and Foreman entered the ER, ready for a shift of vomit and broken bones. The rattle of a bed being wheeled down the hallway quickly was heard by the three and they all jumped out of the way in time. The sight they were met with after the bed broke through the door of the ER stunned them all into silence.

A stretcher on a bed was pushed through the door by two paramedics. On top lay a girl, no more than 8 or 9, who was bleeding profusely on the bed. Y/n kneeled over the girl administering CPR, covered in blood up to her forearms whilst barking out orders to the doctors and nurses around her.

After the bed passed by, no one dared speak. None of them knew what to say in the face of that image. Unbeknownst to the three, House had crept up behind them after, proudly, witnessing the same scene.

“How’s that for a ‘ditzy princess’.”

-x-x-x-x-x-

#dr james wilson #dr james wilson x reader #house md #james wilson #dr james wilson x peds!reader #house x wilson #dr house #dr house x reader #house x reader #james wilson x peds!reader #house x cameron #house x cuddy #dr chase #dr foreman #dr cameron #dr cuddy

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anonymouspuzzler · 8 months

Text

focus is bad today so for some reason that means More Cally O'Pia AU Stuff!! today we go back to How Is Psychonauts 1 Different because this was rattling around in my brain for a while

the biggest change is that Sheegor and Crispin's roles-slash-physical positions are swapped, which is a deliberate choice by "Loboto", who's putting everyone in positions where they can slow down the project and/or increase the chances that the Psychonauts can bust in and shut things down if and when they catch on to what's happening. Sheegor's basically Only guarding the elevator for fear of Mr. Pokeylope's safety (note: Pokeylope is perfectly safe and chill up in the tea room with Lilli; Cal just has to put up some kind of false threat so Sheegor doesn't just up and run, cause he doesn't want Oleander replacing her with someone more competent), and when she sees Raz genuinely helping the inmates - and assembling the Loboto disguise for good measure - she's very willing to let him slip by and hopefully stop the "doctor" and Oleander.

Once Raz does start his ascent up the tower, "Loboto" actually takes the place of Sheegor in the original game, and unlike her, he's actually trying to make sure Raz makes it upstairs rather than force him to turn back - by that point Oleander's brought in the brainless Sasha and Milla, so Cal knows Raz is basically his last chance to get things shut down. Much like Sheegor, he kind of lurks around in the shadows and never makes direct contact with Raz; unlike Sheegor, "Loboto" clears rubble to create or point out paths if/when Raz gets stuck instead of One Million Rats Explode Forever. (Once Raz gets to the top, he also Gets The Hell Out of Dodge and escapes to the Rhombus of Ruin - maybe he shuttles the inmates back to the mainland and/or helps Augustus get to Thorney Towers before he does; maybe he just literally peaces out. I haven't decided. Either way, he basically exits the story at that point.)

Last but not least, Crispin's now the guy actually working up in the lab, and serves as kind of a combination of Loboto and Sheegor in terms of the last obstacle Raz has to overcome (with Mr. Pokeylope's help, of course). Once again, "Loboto" put him in this position very deliberately - he's enough of a suck-up and flatterer that it helps keep Oleander from noticing that "Loboto" is very deliberately sabotaging things, but he's also a non-scientist with terrible cataracts, which is slowing down brain-tank production significantly. Raz basically just sneaks by him and sends him flying the same way he does Loboto in canon, and from there all's pretty much as normal with Oleander and his whole confrontation.

[Full image ID/transcript under cut!]

A black-and-white, digital ink drawing featuring Psychonauts characters from Puzz's "Cally O'Pia AU". On the top left border of the page is a text box reading "Thorney Towers / The Lab of Dr. Loboto". Along the bottom left edge are drawings of four characters all standing in fairly neutral poses, facing the viewer: Sheegor, the AU version of "Doctor Loboto" (differentiated by round glasses instead of magnifier lenses, no scars on his head, and having both natural arms wearing gloves instead of a prosthetic right arm), Crispin (holding a brain in a jar), and Oleander. In the top right corner, there is a drawing of Raz in the dilapidated portion of Thorney Towers, looking over his shoulder at a silhouetted Loboto in the far background. Each character as well as the top right drawing has a caption, indicated by an arrow pointing from the text to the drawing.

Sheegor: Guarding the elevator & watching the inmates. Lets Raz up after he proves he's there to help & assembles a disguise for Crispin.

"Doctor Loboto": Actually Cally O'Pia, keeps up the Loboto persona with everyone but Oleander. Deliberately stationed Sheegor & Crispin to maximize chances of Psychonauts shutting this down.

Crispin: Assisting in the lab, takes this very seriously. Doesn't suspect Loboto is an undercover agent.

Oleander: Same as he ever was. Functionally blackmailing "Loboto" into helping, but isn't present enough to notice his subtle sabotage.

Instead of Sheegor following Raz through the tower and trying to stop him from getting to the lab, "Loboto" follows to keep an eye on his progress and occasionally create or reveal a path.

End ID.

#anonymous puzzler art #long post /#you thought cally o pia au was done? sorry friends the ride never ENDS. HE HEE HEE #psychonauts spoilers #ok now i just have to think of a fifth tag so i don't have to accost the psychonauts tag with this nonsense. there we go. solved #psychonauts

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menelaus-blue · 9 months

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i had a very important realization while i was out walking today. out of the main four vnc characters, noé is the one we know the least about. he fits into a category of what i would call the glass protagonist–a guy who basically exists only to narrate the story, joining the ranks of those like nick carraway and richard papen, except he's just like way more mysterious.

see, part of what makes a narrator like nick work narratively is that we know just enough about him to 1) understand his perspective on the events of the story and 2) know what his role in the story is. nick is able to give his insider/outsider view of gatsby because he is neither part of the buchanans' world nor part of gatsby's, and his role in the story is to serve as a kind of mediator between the two of them. he's daisy's cousin in long island, but he's also a working man in city, etc, etc.

the funky thing about noé is we just...don't know anything about him. we're told a couple of things about his childhood; that he was adopted by an old couple in the human world, that they died and he was somehow on sale in altus, and that the comte took him in. but really, the time before and after louis's death is uncannily empty for the guy who we're following through this world. yes, of course it's fair to say that we know the most important things about noé, but we honestly know way more of vanitas's childhood than his, and that's a big part of the central mystery of the story.

(there's an element to this, of course, that comes from both of the examples i gave before, the great gatsby and the secret history, being novels. as readers, we get an extra level of introspection from nick and richard that is very difficult to translate directly into manga as a medium. however, i would argue that it's not impossible, and all that being said it does sometimes feel intentional on mochijun's part just how little of noé's background she's shown us.)

both nick and richard narrate their respective stories onto the reader from their position as outsiders, which we know is noé's role in vnc from the get-go. i mean, he says this explicitly in chapter one: "this is the tale of how i met vanitas, and how we walked together, of all we gained and lost, and of how, at the end of that journey, i would kill him with my own two hands". he's the narrator and this is his story, just like nick and richard, right?

but while nick and richard are the narrators, and give us, the readers, an excuse to look into their worlds, they are not exactly essential players on the board. both the great gatsby and the secret history give the impression that, without their narrators, they would have continued nearly exactly as written; the characters were doomed to fail long before the story began, and the intervention of some white guy isn't enough to either stop that. and yes, vanitas is doomed as well, but we are introduced to his death as an event that is intrinsically tied to noé himself.

"with my own two hands", noé says. he is not only an actor in the saga leading up to vanitas's demise, he is a starring player in it. (and yes, we ofc later learn that vanitas is going to die with or without noé's intervention but i think it's important to understand that this is our introduction to noé, vanitas, and the story itself) in this way, noé differentiates himself from his glass counterparts, in that he inserts himself irrevocably into the plot. he is both a character in the story and an observer, a chess piece and the one playing the game. this is why the gaps in his backstory feel so jarring, at least to me, because we are not meant to view him as solely a window into the world of vnc, but as a character all on his own.

anyways, all that being said, i'm hoping with the introduction of lady archiviste we're finally going to learn more about noé and his time with the comte, just because it's like a HUGE gap in the story.

#i think it goes without saying that domi's line about noé being a hermit for the past several years really stuck with me bc like. what.#she just dropped that line and then it was never mentioned again #noé also says in chapter one that he was sent to paris by his “former teacher”#like what does that mean. has he just not seen the comte in several years? has he been living somewhere else? what happened between them?#sometimes i think that maybe noé himself doesn't remember everything but ig we'll see #noé archiviste #vanitas #vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #the great gatsby #nick carraway #the secret history #richard papen #sorry if this got a little rambly by the end ahhhh

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synarthrosis · 5 months

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fuck it trauma team posting. collection of various thoughts I have about CR-S01

- CR-S01’s characterization and English voice drive me up a fucking wall because of how VASTLY they differ from his appearance and vibe. Come on. He’s got such a good setup. Emo sadboy twink with pretty eyes and a tragic backstory. Prodigal surgeon. Amnesiac prisoner accused of a horrible crime that he can’t remember if he did or not.

- And then he opens his mouth and it’s the most bland boring emotionless middle age sounding white man voice you’ve ever heard. I think it’s primarily jarring because the voice sounds much much older than he is

- Also his entire character arc being “Woah… what if… I saved lives???” Is kind of bland to begin with and gets even more bland once you figure out that he didn’t even kill anyone

- For a while I didn’t understand why everyone was calling him ‘kid’, since he doesn’t look particularly young compared to everyone else (though I think this is just a fault in the art style, kinda hard to differentiate ages with it). I don’t think they ever explicitly mention his age in TT but I did the math and he’s like 24. So them constantly talking about how young and skilled he is actually does make sense considering most surgeons are like 29-30 at the youngest. But this was not shown well either

- Maybe this is just fault of his sort of unclear/nonexistent personality but I do not understand WHYY he chose to continue taking the blame for Albert’s crime once he learned about what really happened. He seems to a have a lot of painful feelings towards being treated like a prisoner and a murderer so it seems bizarre that he’d choose to continue serving his sentence and doing the surgeries to lighten it just so that he could hide Albert’s involvement

- Like I get that he was fond of Albert obviously for treating him kindly when his birth parents considered him a monster but bro literally framed him and got him sentenced to 250 years in prison!!! Like the peak of your emotions towards that should not just be ‘disappointed’ Erhard!!!!

- I guess the main takeaway is that he feels like suuuuch wasted potential especially since the game makes him out to be such a prominent and important character

#for someone that isn’t even my favorite character (read: naomi) I sure have a lot of thoughts about this guy #mostly because he seems like he had so much potential to be my favorite and tumblr’s little sadboy but just narrowly missed!!!#trauma team #trauma center #cr s01 #cr-s01 #crs01 #erhard muller

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vryfmi · 1 year

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POSTER ANALYSIS BECAUSE MY BRAIN REFUSES TO BELIEVE LOCKWOOD&CO IS ACTUALLY BECOMING A REAL TV SHOW

beware: a long post

- SKULL IS HERE SKULL IS HERE SKULL IS HERE honestly, after "the Golden Blade" character that really threw me off it's good to see this iconic bastard appear on screen. low key sad it's not pulling any faces (yet)

- “Hunt or be Haunted”. this one really took me by surprise. the change of tagline suggests that our smallest agency in London and their business is no longer the only focus of the story. it gives more of a feel of survival story rather then underdogs type of story tho. we'll see where it goes

- the logo is growing on me, it still looks too polished to me, compared to any of book logos which were, well, logos, and here it's just font. but it goes nicely with brutalism aesthetic, sPEAKING OF WHICH-

- yall see this? they are actually going with brutalism for their world?? not a sugar-coated London with beautiful scenery of old european city?? thank you l&co crew i love you for doing your hw.

<...> For a while any object even dimly supposed to have some kind of psychic residue was treated with terror and disgust. Items of old furniture were burned, and random antiques smashed or thrown into the Thames. A priceless painting in the National Portrait Gallery was hurled to the floor and trampled on by a vicar, ‘because it looked at me in a funny way’. Anything with a strong connection to the past was considered suspect, and a cult of modern objects grew up, which remains with us even now. <...>

there's nothing good in what past holds in their world. people are paranoid because no one knows where new outbreak will happen. of course there are blocks of concrete for flats, of course it's cold, of course it's surreal to see London like this. it's alternative London.

- i love these ghost lamps, they are my new fixation. they are so big and so out of place. obsessed even. ufo looking. my love. ghost lamp my beloved

- rapiers, you love to see those

everyone has a unique hilt. im so normal

- last but not least: composition. i think it ties nicely back to tagline change since, yes, it would be nice to see idk Portland Row being shown. but no, characters are in the middle of empty street, looking at something that we can't see. they are agents after all - seeing things outside regular person's comprehension is their thing. they are distressed but got their rapiers at ready. sky is getting dark, ghost lamp (my beloved) is on, quiet city is cowardly seen underneath. f i t t i e s i s b e h i n d e v e r y t h i n g

NOW ON TO THE CHARACTERS

they are all so awkward looking, my divvies

- SKULL my man got a nice looking prison, i like the handle, it's handy. now i see why Lucy will struggle while breaking this jar with poop statue. now waiting for his cast announcement :/

- Lucy got the biggest wardrobe update, kinda digging it. definitely more practical, but it's sad to see heavy boots go. but now everyone is much quicker on their feet, especially after seeing how fast these ghosts are. ARE THOSE FLARES ON HER BELT

- not to be that person, but Cameron was born for this role. really aching to seeing more of his acting and his way of bringing Lockwood on the big screen. also thank lord he's wearing trainers. he already has a safety hazard coat, if there was one more formal piece of clothing he’d died on spot- wait he still has a tie- credit goes to @lucyjcarlyle for pointing out Lockwood's ring, can't wait to find out it is a family relic and die inside

- George by Ali actually feels like George, right? baggy clothes, bag that weights him, something about his posture - all those things add to recognition of character despite differentiating from books’ description. it’s sad we didn’t get to see him in teaser

- and they all look relatively young! like this thumbnail really captures it

also, im not the only one who sees the iconic @doodlingraka's colour palette everywhere, right? because i dig it and i want more

in conclusion: it doesn’t look perfect, lets be honest here, but Cornish’s interview puts it all together in a perspective. this show is a love letter to horror movies of last century. they were clumsy, too, but they knew how to scare its viewer in a smart way. and that’s what books did, now it’s time to pay a tribute. at least i want to believe so

#lockwood and co #lockwood & co #l&co #l&co. netflix #netflix #analysis #ghost lamps my beloveds #jonathan stroud #lucy carlyle #anthony lockwood #george karim #skull in the jar #the skull #ruby stokes #cameron chapman #ali hadji-heshmati #WHO VOICES OR EVEN BETTER PLAYS SKULL #NETFLIX YOU COWARD #.mypost

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5eraphim · 1 year

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TF2 The Medic Yandere Alphabet

Link to @cuteghostwriter ‘s original alphabet

Character, The Medic 🕊 (Team Fortress 2)

Rating: T

Content warnings: yandere, unhealthy relationship dynamics, slightly suggestive, implied mind break

MASTER LIST

Word Count: 2.6k

song inspo

TIP JAR

(Last edited 1/3/2023)

Attachment, how do they become obsessed?

Considering the Medic is hardly the "love at first sight" type, more than likely, he needed to analyze and learn more about you before becoming truly smitten. Perhaps you were a rookie trainee working at his Medical Bay, another fledgling like so many before, but through trial by fire and a fighting spirit, you remained dedicated to your work. For so long, the Medic considered his craft his first and only love, yet something about you had him reconsidering. The feeling was as unnerving as it was bewitching.

Brutality, how vicious can they be towards a rival?

Well, brutal may be putting things lightly. (To no one's surprise.) The man is nothing short of ruthless in getting what he wants, no matter what or who it may be. The Medic isn't afraid to get his hands dirty to keep others away from you. But, so long as you were his, it's all worth it. Also, considering his implied unfruitful prior marriage, he feels he needs you all the more. Medic knows he enjoys brutalizing others as much as he loves protecting those he loves and isn't afraid to admit this.

Caring, how well do they take care of their obsession?

This likely won't come effortlessly for him or as naturally as it may come to others. But he can start with what he knows, ensuring your physical needs are always met, be it thirst, hunger, warmth, or exhaustion. If he notices you appear ill or in need, he'll be there to step in. Then, after a bit more time, the Medic may try to appeal more to your emotional side in the form of little gifts and tokens of affection, small gifts with immense meaning coming from him. Medic isn't very experienced in relationships or seduction and is insecure about coming on too strong and repelling you, and prefers to play it safe at the best of times.

Depraved, do they have a shrine? (If so, what's on it?)

The Medic is pragmatic and logic-driven, and it's hard to think of him utilizing precious resources to construct a "shrine." But as mentioned before, it's easier for him to communicate and comprehend physical objects over words and sentimentality. So, most likely, the Medic keeps a private little stash of pilfered belongings away from prying eyes. Handwritten notes, pens, jewelry, things like that. So, while he doesn't have a "shrine," he has a little hiding spot for his eyes only.

Erratic, how unpredictable are they? How quickly are their mood changes?

This poor man is egregiously love and touch-depraved, as well as being wholly unhinged. Once he thinks you return his affections, he's ready to pounce, not one to fall fast, but with his entire heart all the same. (Though his ability to differentiate platonic from romantic affections leaves much to be desired.) Once he's sure you feel the same way, all your little acts of kindness towards him mean the world, and he's not afraid to let you know. Likewise, he's fiercely competitive and territorial. If he senses another man is infatuated with you, their ass is gone. (You ought to be thanking him, really-)

Fun, what do they do to keep their obsession entertained

Considering this man's idea of fun involves organ harvesting and human experimentation, it may be best to leave this one to your interpretation. Likely the most wholesome quality time with him will be spent tending to his birds, but considering how he treasures his bird children, allowing you to help care for them is a massive display of trust from him.

Good, do they reward their obsession for good behavior?

But of course! He's the type to get off on obedience, and the idea of programming you into becoming his perfect, doting, and loving spouse is a very appealing endgame. Unfortunately, he's also a massive manipulator with ulterior motives and a nasty lying streak. He likely will bait you by being softer with you and "stay on his good side," so you are conditioned into subconsciously keeping close and subconsciously trying to appease him. Only allowing himself to indulge in his darker impulses when you display fear or resistance.

Hysterical, how quickly would their facade break?

Bitch, what facade? The man is past unhinged, and there is no conceivable way he could maintain a "sensible, unthreatening normal boss for long. Despite this, it would likely be a while before you discovered his mad love. Considering his deranged obsession with his work, his eccentricities were easily accepted as part of his "quirks." And though you were frightened, you wanted to believe deep down he was a nice guy, and you just needed to give him a chance. Unfortunately, by the time you came to grasp the weight of his obsessive fixation with you, it was already far too late for you to save yourself.

Intimate, how intimate are they with their obsession?

The Medic never had a good way with words. His communication skills left much to be desired, much less in a romantic context. Physical touch and gentleness are equally troublesome for him to comprehend and exemplify. It's all considerably foreign to the Medic, but he wants you and desires to be wanted in kind. He simply has a unique way of showing it. He'd make sure if the two of you were working together, no one interrupted, or he would always offer his personal quarters to you in your downtime if you wanted a bit of privacy from the rest of the staff. Things that are objectively gracious but not explicitly romantic.

Jealous, what makes them the most jealous?

While he would never admit it, seeing you buddy up with the other members of his team, especially the more extroverted and outspoken members, triggers his insecurities. Although Medic genuinely worries they overshadow him in your eyes, even if he knows your relationship with him is much more personal, the doubt lingers all the same. How was it fair these men who would never love you as he did, were so comfortable at your side? Would you still remember him if you preferred his comrades' company to his own? That unfairness and the threat of being your "second choice" destroys him. Jealousy never fails to bring out the worst in him and is one of the few things that can trigger him to act on impulse or spur-of-the-moment acts of aggression.

Kindness, so they think what they're doing is kindness?

The Medic isn't stupid, he may be delusional, but he can't turn his rational mind off entirely. He knows imprisoning you and conditioning you into becoming his lover isn't right and not normal, but that isn't to say he regrets his actions. On the contrary, it's all worth it so long as he can keep you out of the dangers of war, untrustworthy men, or whatever else may come your way. Whether you see it that way or not.

Lust, what is the most beautiful thing about their obsession?

He may be a bit older, but Medic's no stranger to acting on his more sinister desires, no one provoking these desires quite like yourself. He's more the type to appreciate your figure and how your body moves and reacts more so than any particular body part. As a doctor, if he could, he'd want to explore every inch of your body if you'd allow him. The only exception may be how he can feel your heart beating in your chest when he stalks close enough to listen in those precious few moments. He dreams of resting with you in his bed, his head in your arms, nestling into your chest, listening to the hypnotic rhythm. No clothes to hide behind, just you running your fingers through his hair as he can feel the warmth of your body perfectly against his own.

Makeout, what are their kisses like?

Unfortunately, he's not very practiced, or rather, he's considerably out of practice compared to his younger years. Even when he manages to muster up the courage to kiss you after thinking of this moment a hundred times before, preparing for this one instant, he'll always come off as a bit too forceful. Too handsy, too needy, desperate to feel your body against his own. Bless his heart, he's doing his best to make this moment pleasurable for you, but he can't help himself! His hands have a mind of their own, pulling your body closer to his, feeling you up all over. But, when the Medic's voice drops into that breathy, lusty, deep moan- You can't help but melt a little despite yourself. He may mellow out a touch the more time he spends with you, but that's no promise.

Never, what is one thing they would never do to their obsession?

He would never try to punish you by forcing you out on your own to fend for yourself. He can be cold when pushed to anger, but this would be going too far. The Medic is far from a softie when it comes to punishment. But he's also hyper-vigilant in keeping you perfectly healthy and in his care. Likely if he heard whisperings of you planning on leaving the med bay to find work elsewhere, he would have the opposite response. This would be the tipping point that convinces him to kidnap you for your own good. At his coldest, he would deny you healing but could be pushed to enforce more physical punishments. Imagine Medic keeping you locked up without sunshine, food, or warmth for several days until you start to break down and can no longer resist him.

Outrage, what makes them furious?

Watching you act up or in any way endanger your physical health recklessly or allowing others to heal or dote on you instead of him. This includes pursuing relationships with "the wrong crowd," i.e., his comrades. You were too precious to be running around with the other lunatic mercenaries, and he would be furious to learn of you sneaking around with anyone behind his back. Likewise, accepting their help or taking their offerings of food/healing in his eyes is equally self-endangering.

Pleasure, what is something they love making their obsession do?

Making you behave as his obedient little assistant. He's likely thought of trying to conduct a total mind-break on you, but he's conflicted. While nothing arouses his affections and passions like watching you obey his commands and keeping close to no one but himself, he still treasures your mind. You're bright, and your intellect ought to be cultivated and protected, and clearly, he can't have it both ways, but he may still consider it a last-ditch effort to possess you if you try to run away and keep you as some mix between a house-servant and a trophy wife.

Quick, how quick are they to figure out escape plans?

Precisely that, quick. The Medic is hyper-attentive to details and very quick to pick up and learn your natural subconscious patterns. Once he notices something off with you, perhaps acting a little too charming, a possible sign you're trying to flatter him, so he'd lower his guard around you long enough to slip away. Or too withdrawn, like you're trying to break free as fast as possible, trying to drop under his radar. Either way, it's enough to arouse his suspicions, and he's not afraid to directly confront you on this kind of behavior.

Romantic, how romantic can they be or try to be?

The Medic loves you with all his heart, more than he's loved anyone else before, and he would do anything to show he cares. But this is, unfortunately, not one of his proficiencies, and he knows it. The Medic knows most people see him as cold, cruel, or creepy; unfortunately, at this late in his life, he has mostly resigned himself to his fate. No matter how sweet or caring he tries to act around you, there is always that voice in the back of his head telling him he's not compassionate enough to truly captivate you. (Poor baby)

Self-indulgent, how possessive are they, if at all?

This man has more than enough self-importance to see himself as totally in the right to take you under his wing and mold you as he pleases. Unsurprisingly, the answer is a hard yes. After all, now that he's spent all this time making you dependent on him, it would be horribly cruel to abandon or give up on you!

Trust, how much information about themself would they grant their obsession?

As little as possible, if you're working under him, close enough to be his right hand, clearly you're sharp. And he's likely quite paranoid you'll catch onto the game he's been playing and run away before he can steal you away. So the Medic wants to keep you in the dark as long as possible. And would do his best to play his concerning behavior off on his eccentric persona as long as possible. Medic isn't the kind of person to feel any reservations or moral qualms about lying to you if it's within his self-interest.

Unattractive, what is their most unattractive trait besides being a yandere?

Well, his unbridled malpractice is a bit of a vibe killer. :/

Viscous, how viscous can they get?

C'mon now, if you know anything about him, you'll see the answer here is as much as possible. There is no brutality he won't sink to, no moral boundary he won't cross. If he suspects someone is plotting against him, they're gone. He is cold, swift, efficient, and proud of it. He knows acting like this is doing him no favors in your eyes, but he also rationalizes if you ever do come around to him, all will be forgiven.

Weakness, what is something they can't resist?

The Medic is too calculating for his own good. While he may dream of an ideal life, just the two of you forever, he's too paranoid and insecure to completely let his guard down around you. Unfortunately, his paranoia is his own worst enemy. It clouds his judgment and keeps him from ever letting his guard down around you entirely.

Xenodochial, how fast would their obsession cut them off after an escape?

If you had a single brain cell, you would run far away and never look back. Don't tell anyone where you're going, don't try to play mind games with the Medic, and don't leave him any clues behind. If you challenge him to win your freedom or engage in a civil, normal relationship, he'll pull you back in for good this time. Your only hope to escape him is to outrun him. If you can, that is.

Yearning, how much do they pine for their obsession?

More so than he ever has before. It surprises everyone to see the Medic acting so lovesick, and there's even a chance the others might catch on to how he reacts differently around you before he does. He certainly never thought he'd become so lovesick for another, and you wouldn't expect him to take so warmly to you so quickly. Basically, the Medic is down BIBLICALLY and tearing himself apart. He doesn't know how to deal with this. Love is as disturbing as it is beguiling.

Zealous, how devoted to their darling are they?

With all his heart! He was never one to half-ass anything he set his mind to, much less something as important as his relationship with you. However, once a bit of time passes and he determines he's properly and hopelessly smitten with you, he will resign himself to his fate. The Medic knows he'll need drastic measures to ensure the future he dreams of, but he's ready to fight for it, tooth and nail.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere alphabet #yandere tf2 #yandere tf2 medic #tf2 medic #yandere medic #yandere tf2 medic x reader #tf2 medic x reader #yandere medic x reader

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chemdisaster · 1 year

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continuation of this based on @stiffycock's four eared scar and the idea that in his culture having four ears is seen as a curse

the mcc angst was stiff's idea

shake for no reason at all

For the first time, Scar shows up for MCC with his four ears uncovered.

It doesn't go well.

From the moment he spawns into the world, nervous and excited, he can feel the stares. And he tries to convince himself that it's his outfit, that they're just admiring his makeup and his abs. After all, the makeup really is glorious.

Scar knows better though.

Ever since he was a kid, he would get a lot of looks, no matter what he did. No matter how hard he tried to appear ordinary and inconspicuous. Something about him was odd and it caused him to become accustomed to the feeling of eyes boring into the side of his skull.

So even now, years later, he knows how to differentiate between a gaze and a glare. He knows which one it is. And he knows what it is they're looking at.

His ears.

The number one thing that would get him unwelcome attention as a child is the thing that's attracting that same attention now. And, well, it's not like Scar thought that everything would go smoothly, or that his ears would remain completely unnoticed. He knew the risks and he took them, anyway, because he thought—hoped—that the reward of acceptance would outweigh any rejection he might face.

Now that he's actually here, though...It's proving to be a bit much. There's more stares fixed on his ears than he anticipated, and Scar can't help but feel exposed. His friends have done a good job at convincing him that his ears are something to be cherished, but he's very aware that a lot of people don't see it that way.

He expected this sort of thing to happen. He still can't help but feel a special kind of dread when it does.

Granted, it's not any of the contestants, just the audience. But Scar doesn't know if that makes it better or worse. All the eyes on him and the whispers he's pretending not to hear are bringing back unfortunate memories, and suddenly Scar feels very small.

Following his mood, his ears press closer to his head. After months of displaying them proudly on Hermitcraft, the absence of earrings feels jarring and unnatural. Scar takes a deep breath and forces them back into their neutral state.

Everything is going to be fine. He's going to have fun this MCC like he usually does and his ears won't matter and everything will be okay.

It has to be.

Five games in, and Scar is finding it difficult to stay tethered. His mind is drifting in and out of the present and he knows it must be driving his teammates nuts to have to put up with him, but he can't keep his attention on one conversation when he can very clearly hear another. And none of the words he overhears are anything good.

Can you see that? and I can't believe they're letting that in and look who's competing, no wonder their team is losing—they're all words that Scar grew up with, and yet. And yet.

Something about having spent months convincing himself that he deserves to be loved, only to go back to being a monster and a freak—Scar should be used to this, and yet every finger pointed at him makes him feel like a little kid again, looking into the mirror and wondering why he was the only one who thought his ears were beautiful.

It's getting to him. And Scar didn't do well at Rocket Spleef, and then they had a bad Sands Of Time, and they seem to be losing at all their best games—there's no way that this is a coincidence. Coincidences don't happen, Scar learnt when his mother put a hat on his head and told him to make sure it stays on, or else.

There's only one reason why this MCC should be any worse than the rest. And said reason is currently ignoring his teammates in favour of gripping his ears, trying desperately to block out the fear and the threats, the voices that just won't go away. The audience is still talking and the memories are taking over all his rational thoughts and Scar is scared.

He wants this to stop. He wants to go home.

And now they're playing again and everyone is doing things while Scar is just standing there, frozen, the whispers of disappointment echoing through his head as though someone is speaking right into all four of his ears—telling him that you're a failure and you're dragging your team down and they never should have invited you in the first place—and he needs to help them, he needs toget out of his mind and do something useful—

"Scar, would you please take this seriously?"

Scar looks down, wrapping his arms around himself, the instinctual flick of his ears only serving to make him feel more worthless. His teammate sighs.

"I'm sorry. The stress of the game must've gotten to me. It's okay, I know you're trying your best."

Scar doesn't answer. Because what no one here understands is that his best isn't enough. It can't be, not when his very presence is actively working against everyone to make this the most miserable MCC Scar's ever had.

The only way he can help his teammates at this point is if he leaves.

When they come in last, it's anything but a surprise.

Scar is not an idiot. When everything seems to go wrong, that doesn't just happen. There must be a cause. And there's only one thing that's changed from the previous games.

His fucking ears.

Really, if the literal apocalypse happened when he first tried walking around with his ears out in the open, what kind of fool does he have to be to have believed that this time could be any different?

His ears will always ruin everything. Scar should never have assumed that he would be the only one affected. And he is selfish for having taken that chance.

When the team standings are announced, his teammates immediately laugh it off. Like it doesn't matter. Like the person who caused their loss isn't standing right next to them, listening to them discuss the game with a growing pit of shame in his stomach.

"It's okay, team, we all tried our best. It's just an unlucky run, we can all do better next time."

"Yeah, I don't know what happened. I guess today's just a bad day for us."

Scar stays silent. He knows exactly what happened. He did. He and his ears and his stupid hope that for once, for once, everything would be okay.

He should have learned his lesson the first time he started to yearn for more than what was his by birth. Hope has no place in an ill-fated soul.

While everyone prepares for Dodgebolt, he takes the opportunity to slip away. Nobody notices him go and he's glad. For the first time, he's getting all the attention he deserves—none.

There is a party waiting for all the participating hermits when they get back, but Scar doesn't attend. Instead he goes straight to his base, curling up under his blankets and hugging a pillow close to his chest as tears well up in his eyes. Against his will, his ears droop downwards and Scar cups them in his hands, crumpling the soft flesh with his fingers. Pink makeup starts to run down his nose and he wants to die.

There is nothing to celebrate. Not when his team lost all because of him. Not when his ears messed everything up again.

Grian was lying when he called him a blessing. Someone as pathetic as Scar could never be anything but a curse.

#gtws #gtws angst #gtwscar #goodtimeswithscar #worddisaster #hermitfic

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actualbird · 1 year

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rating luke cards solely based on how handsome peanut looks in them

dear reader, come with me on this magical journey through a 1.6k word long post where i arbitrarily rank the visual renditions of tot's best character: peanut pearce the myna bird

basic tier: he looks lovely, but there are things that could be improved

last CG of SSR Peaceful Place and the first two CGs of SSR Shape Of You: basic teardrop shape

these are good peanuts, but ive put them in this Basic Tier because they default to the Basic Teardrop shape of how birds look when theyre just chilling, wings closed and pose perched. the overall shape is also kept generally smooth without much texture.

essentially, to me, this is the bird equivalent of 🧍‍♂️. nice to look at, but could definitely do with some flair, yknow?

first two CGs of SSR Under The Milky Way: now THIS is a basic pose with some FLAIR. alas, it's still basic tho

while hes still in the basic teardrop, there’s more Personality happening here: his body is angled in a way that shows his curious demeanor examining the tiny peanut blob handle luke made, the lighting and coloring shows off a more textured rendition of his plumage, his folded wings dont blend with the rest of his body thus giving him more depth.

it’s a GREAT basic pose!

if the previous peanuts were like 🧍‍♂️

this peanut is like ✨🧍‍♂️✨

third CG of SSR Twinkling Eyes: obscured by luke's (granted, beautiful) big head

i like how peanut looks here but it wouldve been nice if the fairy house window were just a bit bigger, or maybe the placement of all the things in this CG cld have been moved to allow peanut some more visibility, especially given how prominent peanut’s Role is in the story of this card. as it is though, he still seems to be in a basic pose, but i like how the lighting differentiates the parts of his body instead of being just one big smooth black teardrop.

also, this CG gets points here because peanut looks extra chunky.

and lastly a special case for this tier...

the third CG of SSR Perfect Partner: PEANUT IS THAT YOU??

originally, i wanted to put Perfect Partner-peanut in the Better Tier, because i really appreciate his fluffiness here, his open wings, and that the animation for this CG shows him flapping his wings. however, Perfect Partner-peanut is also very much a Proto-peanut.

Perfect Partner is among the roster of regular banner SSRs, and thus one of the very first cards available in game and probably one of the very first ones illustrated, and it shows in peanut a lot. he looks different.

i figure the artists were still getting a feel of either 1) how to draw birds or 2) what Kind of myna bird they wanted peanut to be. there are a lot of kinds of mynas, with their defining characteristics usually in the shape of the yellow face markings and also other plumage colorings, like in the wings.

here, peanut is lacking his specific kind of signature yellow markings that he has in all the other cards, where the yellow is visible under the eye and then looping around the back of the head. Perfect Partner-peanut instead has his yellow marking Just on the nape. additionally, peanut’s eyes here arent the beady little black we usually see, and are instead black with yellow lining. and lastly, all these factors make him look much wilder than the usual peanut we see in later cards.

usual peanut is rounder, a bit more simplified and smoother (in terms of texture), and all in all he just looks friendlier. Friend Shaped. meanwhile, Perfect Partner-peanut with his beak detail, feather coloring/texturing, open talons that are posed like hes gonna GETCHA make for a more intimidating look.

basically, Perfect Partner-peanut looks to me like beta design peanut. and thats alright! i still love him dearly! but it is jarring when you start to look at the details, and that unfamiliarity makes this peanut rendition one that still couldve had some improvement

peanut in all the other cards: who are you?

Perfect Partner-peanut: im you but i look like i could kill a man. or worse…a pigeon.

better tier: NOW we're getting some good bird visuals

first two CGs of SSR Peaceful Place: VERY GOOD BASIC POSE

okay so if the first few basic peanuts were like 🧍‍♂️

and then the Under The Milky Way basic peanut was like ✨🧍‍♂️✨

THIS basic peanut is like 🌈✨🧍‍♂️✨🌈

IT’S ABOUT THE IRIDESCENCE!!!!!! his wings and body are still differentiated in the rendering, the lighting bounces off of his plumage in a very nice way, and hes FLUFFY LOOKING!!

unseen in the above image is also how lovely peanut’s animation is here—which i didnt make into a GIF because im scared tumblr will eat this post for the 87494837568th time if i tried to put a GIF in—where peanut’s head endearingly tilts and moves in a curious and interested-in-what-birddadluke-is-doing way. and the movement is really dang fluid too, who was the 2d rigger in charge of animating this peanut?? i hope they have a good day today. this is a really good peanut and i like him very much

both CGs of MR Entrusted Feelings: the real love interest is peanut

it’s from here onwards that you may observe that ive got a bias for peanut renditions that have him with his wings open and flying. and im very right to have that bias cuz hes a BIRD OF FLIGHT, it’s lovely to see him doing what birds of flight do best! FLYYYY!!! that being said, this peanut didnt get into the Best Tier because his fly animation is a tad too jelly-like for me; it’s fluid and smooth but slightly off cuz it doesnt seem like his wings have uh…Bones. which is important for birds to have, if they wanna be doing stuff.

still, i like this peanut enough to put it Better Tier because hes so adorable!! hes hovering, his body is beautifully rotund, and his Visage is so enrapturing that hes who mc is focusing on and looking at in this card! she isnt looking at luke, shes looking at PEANUT!

you better watch out, luke…ur bird might just get ur girl

both CGs of R Gaze: 👏STRUT! YOUR! STUFF! 👏

now, at first glance, this card seems to follow the basic teardrop pose again with no flair….until you swap through both CGs of the card quickly. because not only does luke strike a pose in here, but pEANUT DOES TOO!!!!

literally just for that, this card ended up in the better tier. hes Feeling It.

both CGs of R Reunion: sorry my owner is a pathetic wet dog of a man

following the thread of R card peanuts that get so much better when you flip through the CGs, this is a good one. while the visuals are basic, the visual storytelling within it happening when u go through the CGs is IMMACULATE.

peanut looks like he was giving luke a peptalk so luke will stop being so nervous, like “get it together, dad, act cool,” and then luke fails at acting cool so peanut looks into the camera like “yes i know hes still cringefail but hes cute, right? give him a chance!” wonderful amazing never been done before. we love a bird that doubles as a wingman (pun INTENDED)

first CG of R Partner: TAKE A GANDER AT THOSE WINGS!!!

we’re going to skip over CG 2 of this card because it’s just another basic teardrop but

while this isnt my favorite depiction of peanut As A Whole, this is definitely my favorite depiction of his WINGSSSSSS

theyre so majestically and gorgeously spread out, the back wing is so beautifully articulated at the joints showing the Real shape of a wing (whereas a lot of visual renditions tend to treat wings as just this One Big Flappy Thing, instead of these cool foldable beauties we see here), the FLUFFINESS AND ROUNDNESS OF THE FEATHER EDGES, and how you can cleARLY see the layering of the feathers in the coloring, the primaries and secondaries clearly different from the coverts, IT’S ALL SO GOOD!!! literally the only reason why this isnt my top favorite is because we cant see his beautiful face. but please know that this one is SUCH a close second

that leaves us to the last one…and this last card is actually the reason i made this whole post in the first place. only one card managed to charm, bewitch, and beguile me, managed to delight everything i love to see in a visual rendition of a bird

best tier: second cg of R Following The Wind

even if this was the card that inspired me to make this post, i hadnt planned to make this my top fave. i saw this card and was struck by handsome he was and wanted to go through everything else and this one just so happened to STILL end up on top. Why?

full body seen and nothing is obscured from view, his cute little talons are spread out too

wonderful texturing and not just a single smooth black tear drop

wings spread out doing some Great flying AND the wings are articulated at the joints to show the lovely shape of how wings are

coloring on the feathers is clear in the different type of wing feathers present

AND

HES

CHONKY

so it’s currently my top favest peanut-in-a-card of all time. THAT! IS! ALL!

so there you have it. every luke card that has peanut in it ranked based on how much i enjoy how peanut looks in it. my concluding thought is that i hope we see peanut more, i never get enough of seeing that little guy.

fly high, fellow peanut enjoyers.

#tears of themis #do not take me as an expert. simply as an enthusiast. thank you for listening to my tedtalk #tot peanut #luke pearce

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adobe-outdesign · 9 months

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Could you review the polywag line?🐸

Poliwag is pretty darn fun. It's pretty instantly recognizable with the black swirl on its underbelly, which is a nod to the swirl-shaped intestines of some real-life tadpoles.

The eyes are adorable, the little mouth adds some color, and the heavy black and white contrast of the underbelly really helps to draw attention right to the swirl. It's a pretty simple design, but it works very well.

Also, pointless fun fact: Poliwag here is Satoshi Tajiri's (the guy who created Pokemon) favorite Pokemon. He has good taste!

Poliwhirl... did not need to exist. It's got a few unique elements—namely the mitten-like hands, which ironically did have fingers in its earliest sprites—but overall, it doesn't feel like it brings anything to the table that Poliwrath doesn't. Poliwrath and Poliwag don't look overly dissimilar, so you could've just jumped straight from point A to B and not lost anything. Poliwrath's original design, discussed below, might've justified it's existence a little more, but only a little.

That said, it looks perfectly fine. The "gloves" help accent the white underbelly, and it loses the mouth entirely—a change I really love, as it really works to just imply a mouth around the underbelly area without literally showing it. I also like that the swirl changes direction as a subtle thing. All of these changes are also present on Poliwrath however, so nothing still would've been lost by just skipping this stage.

(Side note: I think it's neat that Poliwhirl uses its swirl for hypnosis, even though it doesn't go anywhere. Guess they figured they didn't need another hypnosis 'mon with Hypno already running around this gen.)

Poliwrath is a pretty neat evo. I like that it's more of a larger, more aggressive tadpole than a regular frog, and once again, the lack of mouth and gloves are welcome additions to Poliwag's design. I also like the overall body shape, which reflects its fighting-typing and is a bit distinct from either of its pre-evos.

My sole complaint is that I wish the swirl had the same bean-like shape that the underbelly now has; the circular shape leaves too much white space on the edges and a weird tension point at the top. Also, I do wonder if the feet could've also been white just for the sole purpose of differentiating it from Poliwhirl a bit more.

Speaking of which, Poliwrath originally looked more like a goofy king than anything even remotely menacing, sporting a crown and white feet (or maybe just the undersides are white? hard to tell). According to the creators, this design was scrapped for "looking too weak", which is understandable. Ultimately the design we got was the better of the two anyway, even if this has its own charm.

Oh, and Politoed also Exists. Not gonna lie, I consistently forget it's a part of this line, though I'm not sure why—maybe it's the sudden, jarring color change, maybe it's the lose of the black swirl, or maybe it's just that it's a much more generic frog than the weird semi-tadpoles we had previously. I don't dislike it or anything, but it does feel like it looses all of my favorite elements from the previous stages.

(Little blue edit, mostly to satisfy my own curiosity)

Also, it doesn't really add anything to the line. It does have a vague "king" theme, possibly as a nod to Poliwrath's beta, but it's only really made clear though its evo method and 'dex.

I will say that Politoed is pretty cute however, keeping the same eyes as Poliwag, and its definitely appealing to those who just want a more straightforward frog. It's also kind of neat how it now feels like the line either finally metamorphoses or doesn't depending on the final evo you pick. Also, the way the swirl on the stomach is integrated into the head hair is fun as well. Overall, it's pretty decent, but I do think it would've been better off as its own Pokemon.

Politoed also has a beta, and in all honesty, I kind of like this design better? The black swirl is retained more clearly, but it also has a more abstract body shape that's still plenty frog-like while more closely resembling the rest of its line. I also love the expression; what a smug little creature. Like i said, what we got wasn't bad, but this definitely has a certain charm to it as well.

So, to summarize: Poliwag is charming and Poliwrath is a pretty good evo, but Poliwhirl is mostly redundant. Politoed is a nice option for those who want something more frog-like, but ultimately feels fairly disconnected from the rest of the line and probably could've just been its own thing. Regardless, it's an enjoyable group of 'mons.

#poliwag #poliwhirl #poliwrath #politoed #pokemon #pokemon reviews #outdesign attempts to edit

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nopeferatu · 2 months

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i started rewatching book 1 of the original atla series today to compare it to the live action show and yanno what? it's actually making me appreciate the new version of the show a lot. not in a negative way ofc, like me appreciating the new show doesn't negate my love of the original, but i reaaally like some of the choices they've made to differentiate this adaptation from the original series.

just as an example at the top of my head, i remember being kinda iffy abt the way King Bumi was handled bc Aang realizes who he is almost immediately and it's only after this reveal that Bumi tests him with the different challenges. they also made Bumi a lot more hostile to Aang than in the original series. i kept waiting for the act to drop the way it did in the og series, cause Bumi was pretending to be a dickhead to Aang in order to get him to approach his challenges in unconventional ways, but that really... never came? like... it didn't feel as if it were an act, yanno. he threw it in Aang's face that he was abandoned and left alone and that people only have themselves to rely on in the world, and he looked like he genuinely meant it.

and idk like in general, the world of the natla series is really mean and hostile towards aang. most of the towns/villages he's visited have been iffy and unwelcoming to him at first, even after they've learned that he is the avatar. it's soooo different from the og show, cause (at least within the first 8 eps of book 1) basically all the locations the gaang end up at have been really welcoming and accomodating of them. it was kind of jarring at first to see aang met with so much distrust bc he's the avatar! he's supposed to give people hope! but now that i think about it, it makes so much sense to me that the world would be wary of him after the 100 years of misery they've gone through im his absence.

like. if your world's status quo is that you have a christlike figure who's just kinda Always Been Around, and that figure disappears one day and the world is immediately thrust into chaos afterwards, would YOU immediately open your arms and embrace them when they suddenly reappear again 100 yrs later??? i doubt it.

so yeah i really like this more darker/grittier approach that the series is taking. it still has lighthearted elements, which are really needed, but i really appreciate how much more realistic the character's feel due to their apprehensions and reservations. thanks to it being on netflix and having a higher rating, they're able to explore the effects of war in a lot more explicit ways that make the world's fear, loss, and hopelessness feel a lot more palpable than what a show on Nickelodeon could get away with

#avatar the last airbender #avatar the last airbender spoilers #atla #atla spoilers

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sassenach082 · 1 year

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So I just wanted to let you know that I am still thinking about Tom and his dad's relationship. I have just now finished another reread of I'll ride and just. You wrote their relationship with so many facets I am in awe. Tom thinking his dad does not love him, thinking he is not enough, basically raising his sibling and trying his best to defend them. Meanwhile Bill constantly criticizing but still loving his children so much? I loved reading the scene where Bill carefully cradles Tom's face and softly brushes away his hair after the bird strike, first from Tom's perspective and later on Mav's? Beautiful. Just in general, Mav observing this whole clusterfuck and still knowing that Bill loves Tom, that he cares for him?! I also truly think Bill might not have known how well Tom did in a) the Academy and b) in the Navy/his career so far. I love seeing Mav standing up for Tom and just hammering it home how good Tom is, how excellent he is. I think Bill just decided against actually finding out about Tom's talents and capabilities the second Tom decided to go Navy instead of Marines, you know? That five year period of them not talking? Or maybe he just needed an outsider's perspective and judgement on Tom. And what I really really love? I know you said it in multiple other answers already, but Bill being kind of nice, warm, patient (grandfatherly?) with Bradley is so jarring to see and makes the whole strained relationship he has with his children so bittersweet. We know he struggled with the end of his career and differentiating between career and family, but ultimately he is capable of being a family person and he is really good with Bradley. About Bradley's clay medal, about all his tank questions, when he attends Bradley's T-Ball game. It's so sweet and just gives all of this heaps of complexity because he is not just this strange bad dad who did not want to be a dad. Like yes we see him more lenient/slightly more supportive with Tim and Rachel and Sarah but it is not the same. Oh and I am 100% sure that the moment that cemented to Eleanor that Pete was family and only has Tom's best interests at heart was when Pete argued with Bill during Thanksgiving. That scene makes my day, how he casually speaks up, does not back down, Pete ends the discussion not Bill and how Pete immediately compliments Eleanor's cooking afterwards. Just Pete showing his Mav-side: being polite and charming after standing up for Tom and showing his slightly feral side. Just. I am genuinely in awe how you depict all kinds of relationships with so many layers. So realistic and wholesome!

Nonnie this lives in my head rent free, just so you know. Please allow me to talk a bit more about who Bill Kazansky is as a person, and why I actually love him a whole whole lot despite how complicated the man is, because you really only see him from Pete & Tom's perspective, but the fact that Bradley loves him in about .5 seconds is kind of a clue to who he really is deep, deep down.

Spoilers under the cut!

One of the themes of this story is, "What does it mean to be a father?" There are so many different ways to do it and it often has nothing to do with blood relations. But Tom is definitely learning what exactly it means to be a father through his relationship with Bradley, and it's kind of going to be a key going forward because he has a different perspective he didn't have before Bradley became such an integral part of his life. Ditto for Pete, just in a different way, and his relationship with Viper is equally complicated just in different ways.

Bill is a very multifaceted guy. I think it's important to think of him in the context of his life experiences. He fought in the Vietnam war and that really changed who he was, fundamentally, as a person. PTSD is definitely on the table, even though our understanding of PTSD has changed so much in recent years and back then they only sort of knew that it was even something that happened (shell shock, battle fatigue, etc, we all know what they actually mean is PTSD, something they understood much better by studying veterans of the Vietnam War).

Coming home for Bill was hard. Loud noises were hard. Sudden movements were hard. The dark was hard. Cars backfiring were hard. Screaming was hard. And he lived in a house with little kids at the time all of them clamoring for his attention because Daddy was home, and I think that probably just about killed him, and there is definitely a lot of guilt there. Deep down he knows he wasn't the kind of father they needed back then; couldn't be, was incapable of being, because he was so traumatized by what he saw/experienced/had to do in the name of his country.

To me, Bill probably took as many opportunities to not be home as he could. He would have had nightmares, flashbacks, the whole nine yards. He would have been irritable and short tempered and easily triggered, and I think he probably yelled, and he probably felt so guilty afterwards that he wanted to die. I feel like he probably clung to his wife a lot and sobbed into her shoulder at night when nobody could see him, and I think Eleanor probably struggled so much to take care of her kids and now suddenly have her sweet, caring, wonderful husband reduced to this broken man who was a shadow of his former self. His nightmares probably woke the whole house until he started to avoid sleeping, and that probably just turned things even worse.

(Now I want to write this from Bill or Eleanor's POV but it will honestly break my heart so maybe not but I digress as I often tend to do).

It makes me a little sad that some have asked if he hit his kids... I think Bill is the kind of guy who is terrified of hurting them, and so he distanced himself while he tried to get his head back on straight. Keep in mind this was the 60's-70's so talking about it was out of the question (they just didn't DO THAT back then, you know? Not regularly or in any way accepted by society). He was trying to work through it all on his own not wanting to be a burden.

What Bill needed was help, therapy, a healthy outlet. What he got instead was more training, volunteering to be out in the field as much as possible because that was normal to him. He knew how to function there; he did not know how to function in a warm house in a soft bed with a loving wife and little kids who just wanted to be with him.

And Tom? Well, he remembers. He was born in 1961, so baby Tom remembered Daddy before Vietnam. Maybe not anything sharp or exact, but to a young Tom (because believe me, little kids remember deep down even if they don't have a specific memory), it would have been so jarring having this stranger with his dad's face in his house, because where was the guy who cuddled him? Read to him? Why is daddy mad all the time? Why is he yelling? Why doesn't he love me?

Meanwhile, Bill eventually got better or as better as he could get in the context of the time period. Functioning, you could even say. Everyone telling him to just forget Vietnam ever happened while people spit on him etc (I do not envy Vietnam veterans, many of whom were drafted, having to go through what they went through, but I'm trying to stay on topic here). So, being a logical military man, he probably compartmentalized like hell and just locked it all away (Sound familiar? Looking at you, Thomas).

Then his girls were there, and they weren't wary of him like the boys had learned to be because they'd been far too little, and it was probably so relieving to him that they could just know him as he was now and not how he was before. And that definitely plays into the dynamics between the whole family, and why Tim gets away with what he does because it's hard for Bill to reprimand him as much as he does the older boys, because that's his baby, but it also frustrates him because Timmy often goes to Tom when he needs things and not him by virtue of Tom being there all the time and Bill only being there sometimes.

Anyway, the point is, William "Bill" Kazansky is a deeply traumatized person who puts up a good front of being America's Golden Boy, Decorated Colonel, Celebrated Military Officer, Beloved By His Men For Sticking With Them In The Trenches. But deep down he's just as broken as everyone else.

And then Ellie comes along and it's a balm to his heart because she just loves him to bits and pieces and doesn't give a flying fuck about family history because she's three and convinced she's the center of the universe (as all three year olds are wont to do). Bradley then enters his life, and he's young and desperate for attention and reminds him so much of Tom that it breaks his heart a little bit, because once upon a time Tom asked him a million questions an hour just like Bradley does, and he wants to talk about tanks and the Marines and what it was like to ride in helicopters (a topic most in the Kazansky family avoid, because they are perfectly aware that the Vietnam War was not a cakewalk).

Anyways. I guess what I'm trying to say is thank you for noticing that Bill is a human being and a complicated one at that. I tried to make him as human as I could and I've read so many articles about the Vietnam War I feel a little crosseyed sometimes, but he's not a bad guy, not at all. Just an idiot sometimes, but then again, aren't we all?

Also, while we're on the topic, Bill Kazansky likes Pete Mitchell a whole hell of a lot even if it's grudging. Pete was the first person in literal years to call him on his shit to his face (who isn't his wife, anyway), and while he didn't enjoy it at the time, it definitely made him sit up and pay the fuck attention, not just to Pete, but to Tom, too.

Do with that information what you will.

#sassy answers asks #spoilers under the cut #only read if you'd like more insight on bill kazansky as a person #this one kind of got away from me sorry for word vomiting #i'll ride kazansky family #let's chat about bill kazansky shall we #he's become one of my favorite characters #and to think he was just supposed to be a casual side character in the first writing of my drafts #oh how the tables have turned

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gale-gentlepenguin · 1 year

Text

Gale Reviews: Wednesday (2022)

So I finally finished watching the first season of this show. And I will be giving my opinion on how I think it is. So to give proper set up and some organization, here are the categories I will be tackling

The Setting

The Flow

The Supernatural additions

The Addams Essence (do the actors capture that Addams family feel)

The New Characters

The Mystery

With that established, be aware spoilers below

__________________________________________

The Setting

For the simple premise, Wednesday Addams is expelled from her old school after dumping live piranhas (something that is very much in character for Wednesday and reminiscent of another old scene) into the school's pool in retaliation for the boys' water polo team bullying her brother Pugsley. Consequently, her parents Gomez and Morticia Addams enroll her at their high school alma mater Nevermore Academy, a private school for monstrous outcasts, in the town of Jericho, Vermont.

The show takes place mainly in Jericho, and in the academy. In terms of aesthetic, Nevermore doesn’t really capture the creepy nature of the Addams family save for some instances, coming off more as a gothic Hogwarts. The small town of Jericho does capture that small town vibe and is crucial in giving a contrast to nevermore, allowing for us to see how outlandish the academy actually is.

I think they could have done more to make Nevermore stand out as more unsettling in its own right. But interestingly enough I think the best set pieces are in the woods and in pilgrim world. The places where Wednesday looks more out of place the better.

Overall it’s a 7/10 for the set pieces and I hope they do more in season two. Maybe show how creepy the Addams family home is.

___________________________________________

The Flow

The pacing or natural movement of the show. I think it has a bit of a slow start until the mystery is revealed. But afterwards I think the show finds it’s footing, speeding up when there are leads and slowing down when those leads get cold. Wednesday is the driving force of the show, and it’s clear that she has a focus on solving this mystery but everyone else seems to force her to slowdown. Thematically it rarely feels like a forced slowdown.

The show makes it seem like Wednesday is dragged into almost every situation outside of the Mystery while the reverse is true when it does involve the mystery. It never feels like Wednesday catches a break and in that regard it’s amusing.

Though I do feel the ending also was sped up too much for the reveal, but it wasn’t jarring.

Flow I give 8/10.

___________________________________________

The Supernatural Additions

So Im split on most of it. Giving Wednesday visions felt like a contrived plot device and giving everyone some sort of magical power in Nevermore felt like it made it pretty run of the mill magic school… BUT the way the powers for others was used cleverly and some of the magic was used in amusing very Addams humor. I think when it does do it in the way we expect in Addams ways… it works. But I felt like some of it was not needed and felt like kind of a crutch needed to differentiate normal people from the Nevermore students. This doesn’t impact how I feel about the characters though.

5/10

__________________________________________

The Addams Essence

So this is apparently controversial, but I Greatly enjoyed Jenna’s take on Wednesday. She’s tired of everyone’s BS and just wants to do what interests her. She has a tough time expressing emotion but cares for her family and friends. She feels guilt and is just as creepy as Wednesday from the show. You can see the young Wednesday grow up to be her. I think everyone that’s calling her a cliche mean jerk is misunderstanding of what type of person Wednesday is. Now I know it’s a thin line to walk but I think Wednesday walks it well.

Thing is also a delight and he Carries every scene he is in. Very expressive for only being a hand. I think it was perfectly executed.

So while I respect the actor and actress that played Gomez and Morticia, I didn’t really feel the chemistry from the adult iterations. They were passable and they aren’t the main characters in this, but I just didn’t really get the vibe I was accustomed to with them. It felt more Told then shown. Young Morticia and Gomez were great and Gomez’s silent action was the Morticia and Gomez I knew.

Pugsly and Lurch were fine, very little screen time but it was acceptable.

Uncle fester was perfect casting. I even enjoyed the electric powers they gave him. The justification was that he acquired it from so much electrotherapy. Fred Armisen killed it.

Overall I would say that the Addams family was captured in spirit for the most part.

8.5/10

____________________________________________

New Characters

Enid is an amazing character and perfectly balanced out Wednesday. She is in a way her polar opposite, but they work great. I don’t say I ship it but I get why people do. Also she’s one of the few supernatural bits I like. The fact she is an incomplete werewolf is a very Addams choice

The principal being a shapeshifter was a fun bit but I think they could have done more with her and I’m sad that they basically killed her off. I wanted to know more of her past with Morticia.

I did not care for the therapist, she wasn’t a bad character, but she was kind of annoying

The town Sheriff added the element of man fighting against the weirdness for his own personal reasons. I enjoyed his character and how he was willing to work with Wednesday.

Tyler being the normal coffee barista that kind of gets Wednesday was fine. Felt like he was pursuing a manic pixie dream girl, until you find out the secret which makes him WAY more interesting.

Xavier Thorpe (the artist guy) was a total tool and it’s hard to tell if he was written that way or how he comes off, dude is a total “pick me” I wish he was actually the monster but he wasn’t, and it’s just a prick

Bianca Barclay is one of the best character, she starts out as the mean popular girl until you dig deeper and see why she has such a chip on her shoulder, joy Sunday does great work with her.

Marilyn Thornhill the dorm mother is an unassuming character that has some great bits and I especially loved the last episodes with her.

The rest of the characters were fine and did help give to the story in some way.

Overall 9/10

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The Mystery

To summarize, there is a monster attacking people and when it does it takes a body part from them.

Wednesday found herself pulled into the mystery along with a picture showing a vision involving her. It sounds completely unrelated but it is.

And the entire season revolves around Wednesday trying to figure out who or what the monster is and how that picture vision relates to her.

I will assume you’ve all watched the show so it’s pure spoilers going down here.

The reveal that the sheriff’s son was the Hyde was an interesting twist as it explained the sheriff’s distrust of the school after his wife’s death. Her being a Hyde and his son inheriting it.

The dorm mother was actually the long believed dead daughter of the family whose brother tried to kill Gomez after going crazy AND being related to the founder of the town who hunted witches.

Marilyn or actually Laurel Gates, awakened the Hyde using her knowledge of plants. Made the ritual to wake the dead resulting in Joseph Crackstone one of the founders of the town to be revived with evil magic.

The twists and red herrings were fine. It was not an obvious guess on some of the who and why but there were hints leading to Marilyn, and Tyler if one was especially eagle eyed.

Though I will say that Crackstone did feel a bit under developed but he was mainly there just to be the evil fight scene, which is fine.

mystery is 7.5/10

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Final thoughts

I think the show does things very well and while I don’t agree with all the choices, I do think it does capture the spirit of the Addams family while telling a new story.

I give it an 8.2/10

I’d like to see where it goes from here.

#wednesday adams #netflix wednesday #Gale reviews #Gale review

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