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cto10121 · 5 months

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Watching Breaking Dawn Part 2, the mixed bag of all mixed bags. Slow as molasses and boring as hell, but most of the cringey lines have all but vanished and there is (some) competency in (some) of the filmmaking. Let me count the ways…

Bella spoke literally 1 word after her transformation. In the books, she said “I love you.” In the movie, “Renesmee.” Fine, except she doesn’t say “I love you” to Edward…le sigh.

Man, BD is really where they decided to say “fuck it” and ditch the unnatural pallor of the vampires, because Vampire Bella does not look at all different from Human Bella (okay, granted, her wardrobe is subtly different, but not by much). It’s a tribute to Stewart’s acting that you can even register a massive change

The Loch Ness Monster scene began okay/funny and then it was ruined re: 1) Bella punching Jacob (just no) 2) actually showing Bella hitting poor Seth and 3) actually keeping the somber tone. Lighten up, movie! What’s with this movie series and making the fun parts of the book so damn dull?

Not Jacob phasing just a few feet from Charlie and the movie making it so dramatic with a growly wolf when phasing is almost instantaneous and Jacob is in complete control of his wolf form 😑

The little girl actress for Renesmee is adorable. Such a relief after the horrors of the CGI baby.

Garrett’s “British invasion” introduction is hilarious, 💯 Good job, movie

Vladimir and Stefan are Vampire Diaries-rejects horrors, though. 🤮 They are literally thousands of years old and yet look like they just came from Hot Topic. Ew, ew, ew

Bella’s shield special effect…yuck, yuck, yuck. Why couldn’t they do it like Harry Potter did the wards? That wasn’t too bad. So damn corny

Wow, they robbed poor J. Jenks of any and all personality, didn’t they? His parts were actually one of the best of the books for me. They felt mature, like actual adult instead of YA. Instead, it’s all blah. Also, no oyster satin cocktail dress!! The one time Bella chooses to dress up and chose her own dressy clothing, showing her maturity and arc!!!! Meanwhile they just garb Stewart in a really modern dress that barely looks different than her usual outfits!!! Damn it, movie!!!!

Edward: “To think, all of these people are risking their lives because I fell in love with a human.” What. The. Fuck Movie????? In what universe would Edward even think this???? The Screenwriter Cannot Write Edward Cullen For Shit Number 383782838

Edward: “I never thanked you, Carlisle. For this extraordinary life.” Okay, so the script has (1) braincell regarding his arc, no doubt because Meyer was there as producer. Too bad it does a piss-poor job of showing it

“The redcoats are coming, the redcoats are coming.” Garrett, as always, is the best.

Aro: “Ahh…Young Bella.” 🇮🇹 Also, why does he sound like he wants to fuck Bella? Why that particular relish in his line reading?

No one: Not a soul: Look how nothing this nothing is: Aro: *weird ass high-pitched ahahhehhaggahahah sound* And of course it’d be in response to *just* noticing Renesmee’s heartbeat when every vampire can and should hear it immediately. 🤦‍♀️

I like how Patt!Edward has to stumble a bit and then fall whenever Jane is torturing him. And by like I mean hate with all the fervor of my being. By that token, I also “like” Jane literally saying “Pain”

They introduce Alice returning so casually…where is the tension, Alice’s O.S. voice, everyone turning, all the “Alices”? Nope, just a brief distance shot. There she is! Smh

I hate the fake-out fight scene of Alice’s vision

I hate the fake-out fight scene—

Okay, so regardless of what you feel about the lack of battle scenes in Breaking Dawn…it did make sense. There was no way for any semblance of a happy ending to occur had the Volturi decided to come to blows. Full-on mask off isn’t their MO anyway. The way the trial scene (yes, it is basically a trial à la Merchant of Venice) was set up, with witnesses and objections and the like, made sense and the tension was riveting. Also, in bringing Nahuel Alice foiled any rationale for the Volturi’s planned takeover, so there was absolutely no need for the canon-breaking vision

Second of all, a fake-out scene is much more disappointing and/or infuriating than the book’s scene. All of that tragedy and death and it just turns out to be fake? Fuck that. But ofc movie has to movie for the dudebros in the audience (!!) despite the fact that this series has and always was a romance first

Third of all, the way it was all executed…Bella not being an immediate target even though the Volturi must at least suspect her shield is so damn convenient. Babe, she would have been one of the firsts to go. Other bad shit: Edward leaping out of the crater, his skirmish with Aro…bleugh

Okay, there are some good parts: The Bella-Jane stand-off, Seth’s death, Leah saving Esme (good callback), Marcus’s “Finally” (in-character). But it’s just not worth it

The way they garbed Nahuel…it may be well-researched for all I know, but knowing Hollywood, I highly doubt it. As it is, it looks grossly stereotypical to me

Oh, God, the script for Nahuel’s part is so little emotive, it’s like a summary. Nothing compared to the book. He had such personality and the way he spoke of his father…you could just taste the drama

“We will not fight…today.” Movie-verse only, but I do have to wonder if Meyer will ever bring the Volturi back and have them kill off some characters. Not really the type of author to do this, though

And of course they have to have a moment between Bella and Wolf!Jacob for no good reason, even though Jacob should be all about the Renesmee now. Nope, the movies are still on their Bella/Jacob bullshit

“So should I call you Dad now?” Yes, feed the antis, movie.

Speaking of feeding the antis, Alice’s vision of Jacob/Renesmee!!! I know the movie threw out the whole Alice-cannot-see-werewolves-or-hybrids out the window just from the fake-fight alone, but ugh. Ugh. Meanwhile Book!Jacob literally did not give a fuck either way about Renesmee coming of age in 7 years

The actress for Adult Renesmee looks really nice, though. I’ll give it that

That Bella-shows-Edward her thoughts montage was nicely edited, with good transitions. But unfortunately it reminds me of all the bad directorial choices of the prior movies and so alas it’s just cringe to me

Book!Edward after Bella shows him his thoughts: hfgkzoycychohh!!!!! 🥵🥵🥵🥵 ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️Movie!Edward: How did you do that? 😑 Fuck you too, movie

I probably should feel something about the credits montage…but I don’t. They include everyone, even minor characters!!!! Please…just don’t

#cristina watches #breaking dawn #twilight #twilight saga #the movies brings all the antis to the yard #like ants to a discarded milkshake #there are critics of the books ofc #but the worst offenses are the movies

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0nelittlebirdtoldme · 1 year

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Top 5 vampires (literature, movies or any media)

Uhhhh.... let me get my braincells started up on this one. Thanks for the ask @udaberriwrites! 🖤

Dracula (I cannot not name him, so here I go; Claes Bang's version from 2020 of course)

Louis de Point du Lac (IWTV). I have grown to love him in a very short time span and adore him with all my heart. Speaking of;

Lestat de Lioncourt (IWTV). Bastard. Utter and complete bastard. Still, he deserves to be on this list.

Alice Cullen (Twilight Saga). Yes, I was a Twihard, and read all the novels and watched all the movies. She is an icon.

Dusk (Skulduggery Pleasant). Oh, haha, now I am getting niche. A side character in a long urban fantasy YA series. Badguy and baddie and always in a *mood*. Also, kinda hot with his sickly pale skin and that scar across his face?

Ask Game Here!

#ask game #tumblr ask #vampires #dracula #twilight #amc iwtv #skulduggery pleasant

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writingfromkitchenator · 2 years

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My brain is melting

Because I'm currently sick, in pain, and have my single braincell operating at about 3% even though I'm meant to be working, I thought I'd share all the arseholes that live in head rent free, cause I can.

If you, too, understand my suffering, please feel free to share! I’d love to see who we all have living in our heads (actual arseholes or not)! XD

The Main Five

Crowley (A shocker there, I know, but he’s the King for a reason)

Karl Heisenberg (Don't ask, I’m not sure either)

Johnny Silverhand (he's new, but god, so loud)

Leonard McCoy (He's the sensible one, he hates it here)

Thorin (he swears he doesn’t wander in because he’s lost)

The Others

(They come and say hello from time to time - in no particular order)

Thor (he tries his best to impress)

Bruce Banner (only seems to appear when it’s quiet)

Tony Stark (he gets annoyed quick, does it show?)

Eomer (he judges, but he means well)

Loki (he finds it hilarious)

Remus Lupin (not around as often as he used to be, but knows he’s always welcome)

Carol Danvers (I swear she only comes in when she feels it’s not chaotic enough)

Castiel (I swear Crowley just drags him in from time to time)

Bucky Barnes (he tries to stay out of the way)

Cullen Rutherford (he’s very concerned what he’s doing amongst the rest of them)

There’s probably (definitely) some I missed, but again, brain is currently at 3%. Hope you enjoyed XD

#fight me #look at these aresholes #my life is miserable #but they somehow make it better #sometimes #sometimes they still prove that they are definitely still aresholes #some of them #I know they're not all arseholes #it just feels like it

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densewentz · 4 years

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i saw this post and felt big Emmett energy so now you all have to look at this assorted twilight trash (11/?)

bonus:

#twilight #twilight fanart #emmett cullen #rosalie hale #emmett said himbo rights #my art #assorted twilight trash #listen i have one braincell and its currently occupied elsewhere

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mccoyyy · 3 years

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the teachers at literally every high school the Cullen's ever went to on the phone with child services after watching them make out with each other in the hallways

#how the fuck carlisle and esme never got investigated by cps is a honest mystery #like what the fuck would it look like to onlookers #@ the cullen kids please dont be like That at school #or send them to seperate boy/girls schools #or even better #college/uni where they DONT HAVE TO PRETEND TO BE SIBLINGS LIVING TOGETHER #use one braincell dr cullen im begging #twilight #twilight memes #twilight renaissance #shitpost #twilight rennaisance #edward cullen #bella swan #the cullens

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oopsallmabari · 3 years

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per my last reblog!!!! thinking about this very much in the vein of person Actually Being Hurt because i love to suffer

veria sprinting toward alistair after he gets hurt, because he’s once again gone and run off into the middle of the fight. he cracks jokes about it because never mind that he’s bleeding out, she just looks so upset, and he can’t abide that

zevran cradling daithi’s head in his hands during their fight with the archdemon, begging, praying for him to be alright because daithi’s always seemed so invincible, so unstoppable until now, and now the damned fool can’t even focus enough to hold zevran’s concerned gaze (despite the fact that he keeps murmuring i’m alright, vhenan)

#ari speaks #veria surana #daithi mahariel #i don't have enough braincells to keep going w all of them rn but. AAAAAAAAA #anders giving levi a once-over is obvious bc it's pretty typical for them BUT. far more impactful when anders is left vulnerable #and gets hurt and levi flipsss #i'd say the obvious is that bc josie isn't a fighter that she would be the one checking over rhea BUT! BUT.#consider when the whole assassin thing happens and josie isn't hurt but rhea is livid with herself that the whole thing happened #arya and cullen have done this dance many times over. ole girl is a lil too good at putting herself in danger

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 4 years

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Hi! What is your very specific Twilight AU?

okay, so. New Moon.

party disaster, dumping her and dipping, all happens normally.

but THEN. Bella finds out she’s pregnant.

(and I know you’re thinking- pre-marital sex?!?! Edward would NEVER! but listen. I am the author now. I’ve been around Christians my whole life. shut up!)

so anyway after a million pregnancy tests and a lot of googling about vampire baby legends, Bella’s like...well this is probably gonna be a situation,

Nessie doesn’t have an insane growth rate here because I hate that, so she has a normal amount of time to prepare, and she’s very...aware that the birth is gonna be Rough at best. So she goes to Jacob

who is NOT a wolf yet but Is aware of the pack and the treaty, and they are closer friends already, and she’s like ‘hey. paranormal emergency. you’re the only person in this town who enables me. help.’

and Jacob’s like I’m Fucking Fifteen and goes and gets Leah, since she’s technically an adult and a girl

(ms. meyer How did you make one of leah’s only 3 character traits ‘upset she’s infertile’ and then not have her support bella’s choices in breaking dawn please make it make sense)

so they start brainstorming solutions and the best they can work with is. Bella’s gotta ride out the pregnancy in hiding. they have no way of knowing whether she can survive the pregnancy and the only clue they have about whether the baby will be a monster or not is from google searches, but they also can’t exactly take her to an obgyn when her uterus feels like it’s calcified and her ribs are getting broken and she seems to be craving blood

So, Leah’s got her own little place. Bella moves in there, telling Charlie she wants to move back in with Renee (she knows her parents would never willingly call each other so as long as she keeps up communicating with both of them they should be none the wiser of her growing a little dracula in Leah Clearwater’s basement).

Leah has already defected from the wolf pack at this point (because...the Cullen’s left and she didn’t really like any of the guys anyway lmao) so they don’t run the risk of them hearing her thoughts while she’s in wolf form. She goes out and hunts animals, brings them back and her and Jake drain the blood from them so Bella can drink it. All three of them find this extremely disgusting obviously but Jake’s loyal and a little bit lovestruck, Leah’s a supportive friend and queen, and Bella’s just trying to keep her and her baby alive, and none of them feel like trying to rob a blood bank

Bella is 100% certain the baby will just be a baby who happens to like blood, like she was in bd, but the tentative plan is that if a crazy soulless monster comes out of her Leah will...handle that...

Which neither are thrilled about, so Bella’s just trying to focus on staying positive. And between that, trying to survive and stay hidden, Bella doesn’t really have time to...Check Out the way she did in new moon. Like, she’s absolutely still depressed, and she’s still getting an occasional Edward hallucination because carrying a vampire baby counts as reckless in many books, but she’s just more...resigned and pissed than anything. She’ll have days like the ‘possibilities’ scene, but more often than not she’s just telling the Edward hallucination to go fuck himself when he’s begging her to find the real him so they can have Carlisle deal with the pregnancy

at some point, Seth gets roped into the whole mess (he’s prone to just breaking into his sister’s house) but since he’s like, 13 and The Best Baby Boy he’s immediately supportive. He didn’t even fucking know about the wolves and the vampires until he walked in on a six months pregnant Bella drinking blood while his sister and Jacob are hacking away at a dead deer, but he’s like...you know when you were 13 and sneaking around about Anything made you feel like the coolest person alive? point is he’s helpful

AND he can get away with spending a lot of time at Leah’s house without anyone finding it weird, unlike Jacob, so he starts spending most of his free time there keeping Bella company and brightening her day up

HE is the one who enables her when she comes up with the name Renesmee lmao

(just because she hates Edward doesn’t mean Esme ever did anything wrong!)

“bella I’ll throw you out of this house if you don’t come up with a real name” “leah she’s white you can’t just disrespect her culture like this omg”

anyway these four become the DORKIEST and WEIRDEST little family it’s cute

so then. labor.

it’s less...graphic than in bd because Bella hasn’t been actively dying the whole pregnancy and she doesn’t snap her spine in half, but it’s still. bad.

she essentially delivers a rock that Nessie then begins chewing her way out of. she’s actively bleeding out. Jacob’s having a panic attack. Leah made Seth watch so he would never have unprotected sex and the scare tactic is working. Leah’s covered in Bella’s blood which is not great considering she’s Holding A Rock That A Vampire Is Emerging From

Leah’s been taking classes and researching deliveries so she needs to stitch Bella up and see what else is wrong but Seth is rocking back and forth on the floor crying and Jacob’s screaming and pacing too fast to grab so she’s like. Bella babe I know you’re dying but you need to hold this thing for me ksjdfllksf

so while she’s handling That, Bella’s got this weird little rock in her arms and is watching the baby slowly fight it’s way out like this is a very fucked up egg or something and she’s just. overwhelmed. maybe it’s the blood loss but she’s looking at the messy, scrunchy little face and she’s already in love and envisioning their lives together.

and then, you know, the baby bites her,

she has just enough time to think ‘how did we not think to prepare for that’ before she can feel the venom coursing through her. it’s just as bad as she remembers from James’ bite but somehow...easier to tolerate. she blacks out pretty quickly

the other 3 notice and are like : 👁👄👁

Jacob...literally explodes into a wolf On Spot

Seth darts out the fucking door he’s seen enough for one day

Leah, sole holder of the braincell, realizes Nessie just bit and isn’t drinking from Bella, and deduces this is like...a survival instinct or something. the baby instinctively changes it’s mother first thing. weirdly...touching?

So she gets the baby and checks that everything is physically okay with Bella (apart from you know. changing species) and is like...guess this is an issue for 3 days from now Leah

more immediate pressing issues: screaming new born baby and oh, yeah, the giant red wolf in the basement,

“Jacob I know this is disorienting but if you break anything in my house I’ll fucking kill you”

she really just leaves the poor boy to go get the baby cleaned up and warm up some of the frozen blood they’ve got in her fridge (RUINING HER TUPPERWARE, BELLA)

she’s not worried about the wolf pack mind meld yet because she knows Sam took the guys on a mission way farther up the coast for a few days and they’ll be too far away to hear Jake. hopefully, by the time they get back, Bella will be awake and they’ll have made an escape plan by then

and as she’s bottle feeding blood to the baby she’s thrilled that it seems to be like...relatively normal and not s horrific monster or anything. mission: unwillingly murder my best friend’s baby has been successfully canceled

“Oh Goddamn it....Renesmee DOES fit you...”

Seth, from where he’s cowering behind the couch: “told you”

so, Jake eventually calms down, they spend the next few days cooing over Nessie and brainstorming how to handle Bella when she wakes up a vampire, and also nicknaming Nessie ‘Nessie’ because they know Bella will find that intolerable and they feel she deserves karmic punishment for stressing them out so much lmao

so, three days are up. Seth’s upstairs putting on a way-too-elaborate puppet show for the baby with not a care in the world. Leah and Jake are in the basement because they know Bella probably won’t want their wolf blood and their ready to phase in case she gets a little aggressive

but she just wakes up and is like. hey! how’s it going? where’s my baby?

sjdhfksdj they were expecting feral but Bella still has her super self-control. she didn’t even realize she’d changed into a vampire until they told her lmao

Bella’s a little too freaked out to try hunting yet so they give her some of the stored blood they’ve been feeding Ness and she’s like. good to go. Leah’s about to scream like have the elders been exaggerating this whole time or is Bella truly a freak??? lol

So, they spend a couple days just...relaxing, Bella and Renesmee bonding, they’re trying to come up with fun places Bella can move to with the baby so no one she knows finds out, and every now and then Leah and Jake go out and she tries to help him get the wolf thing under control

and then,,,,the pack get back from their mission early

and immediately are able to read Jacob’s mind

so they head over to Start Shit because there’s two bloodsuckers on their land but,

the pack not attacking because Jake imprinted on Renesmee? tired. the pack not attacking because Jake’s Alpha Genes have taken over and declared Nessie and Bella as part of his Pack and attacking would literally start a war? inspired

so they hash the whole thing out....ultimately Sam decides Bella is more of a victim than a threat, and since neither her or Nessie seem to be going on a bloodlust rampage any time soon...he decides to grant them immunity from the whole ‘kill the vampires’ rule. He’ll let her and her daughter stay in La Push as long as they agree to stick to animals and only hunt out of town. PLUS from what little Bella knows about the Volturi, she’s worried about them finding out about Nessie, so they’ll offer protection if that does happen, in exchange for her being able to help them with intel on any other vampire threats in the area (you know like. if a nomad is fucking stuff up in a nearby city, they’ll send her to talk to them first before deciding if they need to intervene. Sam has become acutely aware he has a lot of teens and kids in his pack, so he’s trying to keep them out of fights as much as possible)

anyway that’s the story of Nessie gaining like 17 chaotic as hell ride or die uncles,

let’s fast forward a bit

it’s like 15 years later. Bella’s not living with Leah anymore, but she’s got a cute apartment in a nearby town, and owns and runs a bookstore on the first floor of it. she got her ged and did college online and teaches night classes at a community college. She’s still in contact with her parents, who Adore the life out of Nessie. She still helps the pack out and they’re all close. Nessie is a handful but in a fun and lovable way. They go on little weekend trips whenever they have time. Bella’s happy.

but then a. Situation. arises.

basically, the Volturi have been made aware of some unknown vampire chasing others out of the pacific northwest and conspiring with shapeshifters. and you know when Aro gets curious he tends to spin things dramatically. who’s to say this vampire isn’t conspiring against all vampires? against them? why has no one’s special talents worked on her? he simply must find out.

Bella and the Pack get word and decide their best course of action for now is to go on the run. they’re not gonna be able to take on a whole army but if they can bide some time and lay low they might be able to figure something out

except Bella is like....I have a teenage hybrid that the Volturi don’t know about yet...it would be EXTREMELY irresponsible to take her with me

but she can’t send Nessie to Charlie or Renee because they don’t know about her...dietary restrictions. She can’t stay with Billy or anyone else in La Push because the Volturi might trace the pack’s scent there and discover her. She’s panicking, they have to leave in a few days max and she can’t find a safe place for her daughter

and then she’s like.....fuck.

she had run into Jasper a couple of years ago- they have the same forgery guy and were heading to his building around the same time as a coincidence. She promised to forgive him for the party incident if he promised not to tell Edward he saw her and that she’s a vampire now. He agreed, but then told her Edward’s been living on his own for a while now and insisted on giving her his number...she never could bring herself to call it or delete it...but now...if she wants to be 100% Nessie is safe and protected...

fuck

So, the past 15 years have been fairly rough for Edward

he’s still convinced leaving in order to save Bella was the best course of action, but like...the vampires canonically mate for life. that’s his soulmate. he’s absolutely miserable without her. he’s thought about cracking and going to find her again but he always talks himself out of it, convinced she’d just tell him she hates him or something

so as stated in his patented Edward Cullen Self Loathing Guide, first thing to do is isolate yourself from all the lovebirds you usually live with. Sure, he keeps in contact, but...not well. he’s currently living alone and posing as a university student. He’s not even really sure what he’s supposed to be majoring in. He’s mostly been in a haze since he left Forks.

and one day....he gets a call from an unknown number. he ignores it, thinking it’s a spam call. but then it calls like 8 more times in a row and he figures answering might be a bit smarter than simply throwing it at the wall

And Edward...swears he came back to life and immediately had a heart attack the second he hears Bella’s voice

He feels breathless and disoriented the whole conversation, trying to figure out if his memory did her voice any justice, trying to rush out 15 years worth of apologies, trying to comprehend she’s actually speaking to him.

But Bella’s very blunt on the phone. She doesn’t want to let herself get emotional. She’s on a time limit, and she has to focus on getting her daughter to safety

And Edward swears he somehow misheard her the first ten or so times she told him. He had a daughter? that wasn’t possible

“she has the audacity to be your Evil Twin so I’m pretty sure it’s possible”

so she gives him a rundown. she needs to go into hiding, no I don’t need your help with that, gives him details about Nessie, what she’s like, what she likes to do, her diet, her favorite color, how annoyed she is by this whole situation, “Edward I know you don’t love me anymore, but I remember how protective you were, and that’s what I need Nessie to have right now. She needs you right now” and Edward wants so badly to refute Bella’s claim of lost love, to tell her he has absolutely no idea how to be a parent, but...her tone is aching so much he can barely speak. He can’t let Bella down again, and he can’t let this little girl he foolishly created and left down anymore than he already has, either.

So he agrees, she tells him to be at the airport in a few days, and hangs up.

Edward loses about half a day staring at a wall in shock, before he jumps into preparations.

Bella told him while their daughter possessed some speed and strength, hunting was fairly dangerous for her. She was more delicate than his kind, and had a heartbeat. Reheated blood bags had been their best option, and she also needed human food as well. He also had to get a room ready for her- he wandered around stores for hours, reading young girls minds to see if there was any furniture or decorations that were universally liked- which was of course, fruitless, but he did manage to find a handful of things he was sure Bella would have liked at that age, and prayed for the best. He somehow got himself covered in purple paint that was a nightmare to get off. Bella had sent him some forged documents claiming Nessie was his younger sister he’d won custody of, and he got her enrolled in a nearby school. He lived every day leading up to her arrival staving off a panic attack.

it wasn’t until he was on the way to the airport that he realized he forgot to inform his family about this life update. they must’ve been on a hunting trip, because he got nothing but voicemails

imagine being Carlisle and you come home to a voicemail from your son who’s banished himself from the family that’s just like ‘hi. you’re a grandfather now. I’m having a nervous breakdown and might crash my car. call me back at your earliest convenience I suppose” like what would you DO

after he gets to the airport he starts panicking again, realizing Bella had never actually sent him a picture, worrying about how he’d find her, but then- he sees a tiny girl with untamed, dark red curls, features strikingly similar to his own that are pulled into the expression Bella always made when she was reading, absently chewing on her lip, and before she looks at him with her mother’s big brown eyes, he already knows who he’s looking at, and he’s certain if he was human his tear ducts would be having a fit right now

Renesmee, however, seems less willing to have an emotional meeting. She mumbles out a simple greeting before gathering up her bags and heading for the door, Edward rushing behind her to try and help

listen. the awkwardness of Charlie trying to connect with Bella. but 10000x worse because of Edward’s overthinking, self-deprecating ass and Nessie being like ‘ah yes the guy who broke my pregnant teenage mothers heart, fantastic’ lmao

the car ride is p a i n f u l. Edward’s trying so hard for light conversation and Nessie’s barely giving one word answers. Bella had warned her about the mind reading so she was carefully keeping her mind blocked, which Edward is trying very hard to be understanding about instead of annoyed, but By God does he want to know everything about her

when they get back to his place, she quietly thanks him for the room and then promptly locks him out of it lol. He spends the rest of the day just pacing back and forth until he realizes he should eventually feed her lmao

and that’s...kinda how the first couple weeks go. she only emerges from her room if he bribes her with food, she awkwardly tries to dodge his questions, he drives her to school and then begs her to tell him how it went when he picks her up, he spends his college classes distracted because he’s freaking out constantly about how to successfully bond with her. His favorite time of day now is night, because she can’t block her mind while she’s asleep, and even if her dreams are all nonsense they’re still...part of her that he gets to know.

His family keeps begging him to let them meet her, but he’s pushing back because if she’s this bad at adjusting to one new family member, how is she going to handle six more?

(meanwhile Alice and Rose started a group chat with her and are having a ball clowning Edward lmao)

wait ksjflksd I think this vine perfectly sums up the dynamic im envisioning https://youtu.be/wQZIUHNORHg

anyway they....very slowly make some progress. much too slowly for Edward’s taste, but hey.

Like he finds out snacks she likes. or jewelry she likes. stuff like that and just...wordlessly leaves it around for her lmao. he thinks it’s like trying not to startle a deer, Nessie thinks it’s more like a cat trying to gift you a dead mouse, but either way it’s weirdly endearing.

He notices she always has a huffy little frown when he picks her up on Wednesdays. So instead of begging her for an ounce of information of her school life, he asks her one Wednesday morning if she’s excited for the day and she admits she has an elective class every Wednesday with a girl she doesn’t get along with.

He gets her school photos (and Weeps) and realizes apart from her room the home is fairly barren of decorations, so he buys a bunch of picture frames and hangs up the school shots, and some pictures of the Cullen’s over the years, and the few he has of Bella that he could never bear to part with. Other than catching her smiling at the prom picture of her parents, Nessie doesn’t say anything- but the next time he comes home from hunting, there’s a pile of pictures of her growing up on the table, and he starts weeping all over again as he hangs them up

(there’s one of her and Bella hugging and looking at the camera with identical grins and joy in their eyes, he can’t help but put that in his room. He hopes one day he’ll get to see a scene like that in person)

He starts trying to get her out of her room a little more- he still hasn’t managed to a get a ‘favorites’ list out of her, so he starts playing movies Bella loved, to see if any of them lure her out. some do, some don’t- he got halfway through a Lord of the Rings marathon, which was Torture in his opinion, but then Ness came out and quietly asked if he could restart it and suddenly they became his favorite movies ever.

Bella’s not able to contact her on a set schedule or anything because of her situation (and you can bet your ass Edward’s contacted every vampire he knows and ordered them to help her out if they come across her or the Volturi), and Edward realizes that’s probably taking a toll on the girl, so he starts telling her stories of her mother when he knew her in Forks. She’s particularly amused by the blood typing incident- the first time Edward hears Nessie properly laugh, he literally starts crying on the spot

could you imagine the sheer panic if she ever gets so much as a cold

And yes, she’s still pissed on Bella’s behalf, and yes, she specifically blasts 70s music because Bella told her he hates it one time, and yes, if he looks at her like he’s a kicked puppy one more time she might claw his eyes out, and yes, she refuses to introduce him to her friends from school because she Knows everyone will then start asking her about her ‘hot brother’ and she can’t live with that and also can’t live with him knowing that so she told him if he ever introduces himself to any of her friends she’ll set him on fire, and yes, she’s homesick 95% of the time but...he’s growing on her. like a mold, or something.

(okay, maybe when Seth tried to analyze why Mamma Mia is her favorite musical, he might have had a point. half a point. quarter of a point. shut up.)

And Edward’s still trying to not have a panic attack every time she’s out of his sight- he’s got Carlisle keeping tabs on the Volturi for him, and it’s not exactly hard for him to keep track of her through other people’s minds- but she’s so tiny and her heartbeat is Too Fast and what if she inherited her mother’s unlucky streak??

but they’re toeing the line of co-existing peacefully and Edward’s scared to push it past that

then he has to, because it turns out he sent her to one of Those Schools where the parents have to be involved in the school in some way or another and Nessie’s Annoyed

sdkjfsdkjf she keeps trying to get him to just sign up for like pta meetings or something and he’s like ‘I need you to understand you are the only person in this town I actually know or like I Cannot survive around fundraiser moms I can’t’

so she’s like ugh fine I’m in the drama club

listen.....Stage Parent Edward Cullen.......the power this holds...

that’s right this whole post was an elaborate ruse for me to make a musical theater headcanon again lmao

no okay but seriously he starts off just helping build sets and stuff like that but then midway through the year their music teacher gets fired and the schools like begging him to take over because they can’t find someone in enough time that’ll know the music for the show they’re doing and he’s like “I need you to understand Nessie will never talk to me again if I start actually working at her school” and they’re like “She also will never talk to you again if we have to cancel the big musical, though” and he’s like. fuck.

silent treatment for a week and a half

lmao so now he’s trying to juggle being an overly-enthusiastic stage parent who’s making costumes and sets and kinda crying backstage when he sees his daughter in her costume with also being the music director for the damn show and trying to teach a bunch of kids how to read sheet music

one day he ended up in a coffee shop with the hair and makeup moms, gossiping about the cast’s love lives, and he literally doesn’t know how he got there

is it wrong to pass Nessie in class even though she’s putting all the wrong answers on the test but he Knows she knows the right answers and is only answering wrong to try and get a rise out of him

Bella sneaks into town to see the show- they thought it would push their luck if the pack came, but they sent an ungodly amount of flowers and candy. When she snuck into the house while Ness was sleeping she Was Not expecting to find Edward up to his elbows in sequins, trying to fix a bedazzler he accidentally broke in frustration, muttering under his breath about how if Nessie’s romantic opposite in the show doesn’t keep his thoughts clean he’s gonna kill him- and it just cracks her up. She WAS nervous about seeing Edward again but now she’s assured he’s still a dork lol

So Edward freaks when he sees her but they don’t wanna wake Ness up so they’re trying to be quiet but like. they’re going through it

Like Bella Wants to be pissed at him but she can’t, she still loves him- and while she can’t just get over what he did to her, it’s also not lost on her that ‘leaving to protect someone I love’ is literally what she had to do to her daughter

And Edward....Edward, who only left to give Bella a chance at a safe, human life, seeing Bella in front of him as a vampire, knowing it’s his fault she ended up that way and she had to go through it alone, had to raise a baby herself because he’d made it so hard to find him...knowing if he’d just pulled his head out of his ass he would have been able to be there for her...would be able to form a coherent sentence around his love right now, would have long and fond memories of Nessie’s childhood, likely wouldn’t have to watch Bella hide from the Volturi...he’s back in a self-loathing spiral already

But they haven’t seen each other in so long and they just don’t want to...deal with the unpleasantness right now, so they just push it aside. Bella helps Edward with the costumes. Edward fills her in on what she’s been missing with Nessie. Bella tells him some stuff about when Ness was younger. They just spend the night talking, and it feels like no time has past between them at all- which just makes the heartaches a little stronger

When Nessie wakes up to her mother there she’s ecstatic- bubbly and loud and glued to Bella’s hip all day, giving her in depth play-by-plays of her school and rehearsals and friends she’s made, bouncing on her toes all morning, hyper, giggly, and- it kind of breaks Edward’s heart a little, even though he knows he hasn’t really...earned this side of his daughter, yet.

(at least he got his wish of seeing their twin smiles in person)

(he wishes he could see them every second of every day)

so the girls spend the day catching up while Edward mostly feels like a thirdwheel, and then they have to get Ness over to the school so she can get ready

Bella decides to hang out around the school theater before the show actually starts- she leans against the wall next to the piano, the two talking in hushed tones while Edward runs through songs. Bella really missed watching him play- the only thing that managed to drag her away from it was when Nessie called her to the dressing room to help with a hair emergency

she didn’t talk to him much at intermission, her attention being stolen by the rest of the Cullen family (who had been Very Loudly supporting the show so far, she knew Ness was probably dying of embarrassment backstage)

after the show, the three went back to Edward’s and just...talked. Nessie was gushing about the show and eating while her parents assured her she was the greatest actress ever born, simple stuff like that. she fell asleep sandwiched in between them on the couch

Bella realizes she’s never going to be able to bring herself to leave again if Nessie wakes up, and tells Edward as much. He clearly doesn’t want her to go just yet either, but...she’s on the run, it’s not like she has much choice

He has so much he wants to say to her but he just- can’t. it’s not the right time. but he’s hoping she can see that in his eyes

Bella shifts Nessie off her shoulder so Edward can hold her, and she gives him a light kiss and says ‘thank you, Edward’ before disappearing in a flash. she needed to go before she lost her nerve.

Edward can’t bring himself to let Nessie out of his arms, so instead of carrying her to bed he just stays there, holding her, trying his best not to think that that could be the last time for a long time he’d ever see his Bella again, trying not to let thoughts of a life he gave up unwittingly consume him

okay I didn’t mean for this to be So Long so I’m cutting it here uhh...let me know if anyone wants a part 2? sorry lmao

#twilight #edward cullen #bella swan #edbella #twilight saga #asks #molly mumbles #elephantlovingmouse

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notquitetwilight · 3 years

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I love how the cullens will move like every 5 years bc "people are noticing we're not aging" but keep using their ACTUAL names. It's so dumb that for like 100 years they just move places and they think thats enough to protect their identity. Carlisle especially: he has jobs so his employers have to let the government know that he works and earns money (yay, taxes) so youd think SOMEONE would notice that this guy has worked an unholy amount of years. And he seems to be a well known specalist in his field (If i remember correctly).

It would make way more sense for them to either live off the grid or use fake names. Apparently they have the means to regularly get the paperworks they need to proove they're as old as they say they are, why don't they change the names as well? No one is raising any questions about the new guy John Smith having the same name as some random doctor 30 years ago but the chance that several people are named Carlisle Cullen is slim to none.

Tldr: it doesnt make sense at all, not a single braincell between the characters and author (but we knew that already)

You are so right about everything and I thought about this even when I first read the series at 12/13 so how an author and a publishing house never considered this is truly beyond me

#twilight #twilight renaissance #the twilight saga #the twilight series #the cullens #anti smeyer #twilight revival #asks #anon

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ali-kitkat · 3 years

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this is in regards to the second option of how mari meets the rest of the batfam.

so obviously while mari is staying with bruce and the rest of them akuma attack still happen and she has to slip away rather frequently.

the first few times no one thinks anything of it. they think oh, shes in a new environment she just needs some time to adjust to everything. except as time goes on they grow more and more concerned bc theyll go check on her and shes nowhere to be found.

it isnt until she accidentally portals herself into her room while damian is waiting for her that shes found out.

damian is shocked bc his best friend is a heroine. and he didnt even know about it.

he drags mari out by the arm into the family den and tells the rest of the family about his discovery. jason promptly freaks out bc his baby sister is supposed to be safe, shes not supposed to be mixed up in all the hero drama and angst.

cass is rather level headed and she sees the anxiety start to bubble in her sister and immediately hugs her to her chest to try and ground marinette.

mari is squished against cass and silently freaking out while damian and jay are ranting to bruce about helping out in paris. dick and tim are confused about the entire situation bc of the cacophony of noise coming from the two of them. steph is flipping shit bc the baby is in danger almost everyday. bruce is trying to calm down the damian and jay. babs is already researching everything going down in paris. duke, harper and cullen have finally walked into the room and froze bc its basically that scene from community.

alfred is the only one with a braincell. who has everyone shut up and sit down.

#maribat #daminette #ali kitkat's writing #ali kitkat's rambles #bio mom shiva

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softjaspers · 4 years

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Things The Cullens Have Said

Part two will be the volturi

Emmett- “my fight or flight instincts are always on baby WOOO” *immediately crushes beer can onto his head*

Carlisle- “The one braincell we share is the heart of our home”

Jasper- “I will boil your teeth”

Rosalie @ Edward- “I do love you but if you tell anyone I will expose your e-boy tiktoks”

Alice- “Sometimes I break into houses of people with bad taste to plant new clothes in their closet”

Edward- “google how do you stop crying at night asking for a friend”

Esme- “Currently helping Edward find his candy that I ate last night”

Carlisle- “I love my kids but that doesn’t change the fact I am disappointed in them”

Edward @ Bellas pregnancy- “I am not mentally stable enough to be a father how do I decline???”

Emmett- “Wait- you're telling me butterflies aren’t actually made of butter?”

Jasper- “I wish I was a candle so someone could light me on fire”

Alice- “Someone mistook me for a 4th grader once, that someone was jasper like 80 years ago and I refuse to let it go”

Rosalie- “I may be a dead girl but at least I’m pretty”

Esme- “Carlisle tried to rent me a country for our anniversary. a whole country. Not possible obviously but still I was flattered”

Emmett- “How do you tell your family you ate the village people so you all have to move???”

#You would think after like 500 years they would be stable but no #keeping up with the cullens is a show I want #twilight #twilight saga #incorrect quotes #shitpost #headcanon #quotes #the cullens #carlisle cullen #Edward cullen #Rosalie hale #jasper hale #esme cullen #Alice cullen #Emmett cullen #Bella swan #chaotic #au oop

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swiftsaltsweet · 3 years

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Why Ch 24 of New Moon is the best chapter in the series

I’m taking no criticism, this is the best chapter and I’mma tell you why. While skimming through the series for reasons and....I never thought I’d say it but, I legit have a favorite chapter out of the entire Twilight franchise, and it’s in New Moon of all places. And I don’t know, I just need to gush ok? There’s just something about this chapter that’s amazing, it’s like a fever comedy. Like the absolute, unadulterated, feral chaos that is this chapter. It caught me completely off guard, esp considering we spent this whole god damn novel with Bella so depressed, like “it hurt to read I felt so bad for her” kind of depressed, with the last half having very clear PTSD reactions on top of that, before leading into some very clear suicidal tendencies for about the last quarter on top of that. It’s a heavy ass book.

But then fucking chapter 24 and all it’s glory come along. We just spent a good portion of the last chapter with Ed explaining himself and trying to convince Bella that she is loved and has always been loved and he won’t leave and that she’s not dreaming. And then Bella, still not completely convinced, decides she needs to get his family to vote on her humanity.

And like there’s some mushy stuff being said in the beginning, but that’s just there to lull you into a sense of security. Cause on the way there Bella let’s slip about the voices she’s was hearing and Ed’s just like “👁️👄👁️” And I’m low key screaming cause she’s being a biiiit to open about that, and then she’s like “Oh, that must’ve been happening cause you love me!” and now I’m high key screaming cause baby girl noooo! AND THEN Ed just smiles and is like “yeah that’s ok, that’s normal, btw it sounded like you were handling this better than me at least” and now I’m crying and screaming and the neighbor’s are calling the cops cause they think I’m being murdered. And at this point I’m like “Carlisle, please get these two a therapist or I’m gonna be thera-pissed.” And that’s before the fucking vote.

So they get there, call the family, the meeting begins. Alice is grinning like the literal devil she is (and we love her for it). Ed’s face is suddenly fierce, probably cause he just now saw the memory of his girlfriend asking his sister to eat her-I mean change her on the way to Italy. But we don’t have time to unpack that, we need to put this stuff to a vote.

BUT NOT UNTIL EDWARD PULLS A BITCH MOVE and says his lovely piece. Boy is off his rocker, but he’s going off it with a plan. Dumbass motherfucker over here thinks that he can play the most fucked up version of hide and go seek with the vampire government. And I don’t know what’s worse, 1) the audacity he has thinking Bella will go along with this plan, 2) the audacity that he thinks Alice will want to spend her time watching Demetri for the rest of Bella’s life (esp when she’s about ready to change her herself or get someone else to do it, Alice has no time for your foolishness Eddie), 3) the fact he thinks this plan can work, 4) the fact Emmett and Jasper think the plan is just swell while Rosalie/Bella/Alice think they all are fucking morons (thus showing, if there is at least one braincell in this whole fucking family, Emmett, Jasper, and Edward are not the ones holding it)

And then we have the vote, despite Emmett and Jasper drinking dumb bitch juice for a second, they end up not voting in favor of Ed’s plan. Probably cause Jasper is whipped and his wife already voted yes, and cause Emmett flipped a coin on whether Rose would hate it more if he fought the Volturi or just said ok to Bella being a vamp (yes that blessed himbo was still thinking about fighting the Volturi as he voted).

AND THEN Ed storms out of the room and starts wrecking shit like the beautiful unstable toddler that he is. BUT THEN, Bella turns to Alice, looks her dead in the eye and is like “Ok where you wanna do it.” and klfajlksdjdsafs Fucking Alice “I see everything” Cullen can only stand there in absolute literal terror. DIDN’T SEE THAT COMING DID YA PIXIE STICK? You seriously didn’t see, no couldn’t even conceive the level of Bella’s audacity and bullheadedness???? But then you remember, not like 5 chapters ago, like a day or two ago in real time, Bella practically jumped Alice on the damn plane to Italy practically screaming “Bite me now!” like did she forget???? Like, Bella was right Alice, y’all both co-owners of the idiot market.

AND THEN Ed comes flying in fueled by pure rage, and starts asking Bella if she’s lost her gd mind. HER TALKING ABOUT VOICES IN HER HEAD?? NOPE A-OK! He hears them too except like, he’s supposed to cause he has that power, Bella doesn’t. But his own sister cucking him on transforming his gf? Oh no this is over the line! All sanity is lost! THE DISCONNECT FKDLASJKLSAJF And then Alice is over here experiencing for the first time of what is called “shitting yourself,” is like “there’s a few issues with your plan at the moment Bella, such as me not eating you.” And then Bella’s like “give it the old college try Alice!” And Ed is acting like he’s gonna rip Alice apart and Alice is like “👁️👄👁️ I’m gonna die” and like Jasper is???? Not even there anymore??? fkdlsfjlakjf Like he left, he’s gone! No more mention of him! Like Mr. “Someone breathes weirdly near Alice I’ll show them what their insides look like” isn’t, at this very moment, german suplexing Edward’s ass into the ground???? Is he, along with the rest of not Ed/Alice family just looking on in horror at the uninformed brazenness happening in front of them?? fklsdjafk Is everyone, sans Rose, thinking “Maybe we shouldn’t have voted yes????”

AND THEN Bella is like “Fuck it, Carlisle?” And like, at this point Ed is clutching at Bella as if he’s gonna have to fight his whole family off of her, and Carlisle is like “Yeah.......let’s do it” and Ed’s just grasping at freaking, very understandable, straws and is like “CHARLIE WILL BRING THE POLICE FORCE DOWN ON US IF YOU DISAPPEAR AGAIN!” And Bella, beautiful Isabella “Fuck da police” Swan is like “You mean all three of them? :/” But they’re able to talk her down to waiting till things cool off and wait a bit.

BUT THEN Ed, after whisking Bella away from his family before this whole interaction could become even more of a shit storm than it already is, is now pacing in Bella’s room like a mad man, trying to think of a way to undo this disaster he didn’t see coming and then his little walnut brain is like “A-HA! You want to be a vampire? Then what if it twas I who changed you instead? YOu want that? Well then GIVE ME MARRAIGE!” And Bella is like “oh damn I actually do want that :/” BUT YOU’D THINK IT’D END HERE but no, Charlie comes in cause of the commotion, and he starts talking to Bella and the beautiful idiot let’s slip she went cliff diving to her father and he’s just like “👁️👄👁️” and while he’s trying to object to Edward, Bella’s like “I’ll move out buddy boi, it’s me and Ed, or no me at all. This crazy duo is a packaged deal buck-o! Now get along so I can shower!” and then yadda yadda some mushy stuff and end with these two love birds kissing. Like....STEPHENIE! You think you can just throw some mush in there, after I just witnessed an entire circus being set on FIRE???

#twilight #new moon #twilight renaissance #twilight review #long post #alice cullen #bella swan #edward cullen #they're the stars of this post I don't want to flood the other character tags #new moon is just '👁️👄👁️' the book #i forgot what this chapter was like #and i've listen to people reviewing this book and they just????? do they not see the disaster that was in front of them???#it's always sanitized like 'oh they vote on Bella's humanity' like did they just watch the movie version of this????#like the movie version is utter trash compared to the book scene omg #I remember one youtube review saying that 'the book was more formal than the movie cause they sat at a table' and now I'm like ???????????/#Yeah it tried to be more formal but it was a screaming match away from turning into a reality tv show omg #like yeah they sat at a table and tried making it a legit meeting but we got tweedle dumb and tweedle dipstick over here running the show of #of COURSE it was gonna spiral into a insane mess #btw I love alice and she's my fav character but I also love seeing stuff bite her in the ass #it's called duality #and like there's a few other more normal/mushy stuff happening at the beginning to lull you into a sense of security #i say it's the best cause I'm still re-reading eclipse and need to re-read breaking dawn #its' at least the best from bella's perspective AT LEAST #MS ed's off his rocker the entire time so hey we're channeling that energy yo #I don't know what's funnier to me the all seeing psychic being blindsided and terrified #or ed and bella just showing their wholeass to the family right then and there and everyone has to deal with it #none of the characters win in this chapter but I know at least I was the winner :')

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twilight-good-yall-dumb · 2 years

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Do you think Bella would have been better or worse if Edward had been the only one to leave in New Moon?

Hmm...this one is stretching the braincells tonight.

I think the obvious answer is that she would be better off, because despite losing Edward, she wouldn't lose an entire support system. I mean, the shock at having an entire family, who you had begun to view as your own, suddenly up and leave is far, far worse than just your boyfriend going away. Not to mention that she lost one of her closest female friends as well(Alice literally helped her bathe and such after the events of Twilight, chances are they had developed a pretty tight bond at that point).

However, I have two counter points to my above statement. One, having the rest of the family stay, even though it would be reassurance for Bella that Edward had and did exist, would certainly be more painful, right? To know that his entire family was willing and able to stay behind, but the boy she loved ran away from her? Surely that would hurt even more? Because how can the rest of the vampires stay, continue to live their lives and be around her, but Edward can't? It would definitely reassure Bella's self-doubt and make her convince herself that she truly wasn't good enough for him. This sort of leads into my second point, which is: this would make no sense whatsoever. Like, I know we're talking hypotheticals here, but none of Edward's logic for moving away would add up if his family stayed in forks, even if just a few of them stayed. "We're starting to look too old." Okay, then why are they still here? "You don't belong in my world." But the Cullens are your world? So why are they still here? "I'm not good for you." Uhm, the rest of the deadly vamps are still in her life, without her primary protector, which is just as dangerous, if not more than if you'd stayed, Edward?!?!

Basically, Bella would be no safer than before and she would be just as, if not doubly heartbroken, so yeah, for once, I have to agree with Edward's logic on this one, no matter how misplaced. It really wouldn't have been fair to Bella to leave his family in Forks while he disappeared. Not to mention, that it would probably also break the Cullen's hearts and make their lives harder, knowing that as long as they stayed there and were a part of Bella's life, they wouldn't get to see Edward. I can't imagine any of them agreeing to that, honestly.

#twilight #I do like to imagine Emmett staying back though #for some reason the idea of just Emmett hanging around Forks looking out for Bells and hanging out with her every once in a while #would be kinda iconic #idk why exactly #it just speaks to me

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alesreadings · 3 years

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Crave by Tracy Wolff.

2.5 stars.

“There’s not much to be afraid of when you’ve already lost everything that matters.”

I'm warning you: if you haven't read the book and don't want any spoilers, don't read further, because my review is filled with spoilers and sarcasm. I am conflicted with this book. I hated it, it was cringey and the romance was ugh (but I shelved as romance, AND as "this shit has no romance"), the characters were stupid as fuck and the plot was not interesting but predictable, and the villain, oMG, WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT??? However, it was fast paced. It took me a while because I was on a reading slump and having constant breakdowns, lol. Anyhow, it amazed me how quick I read this book and how fast many chapters went... Which is good, because my reading slump was stick to me, and I guess I gotta say thanks to this book ¿? Ok, let's start the review! Grace lost her parents due a mysterious accident (as your typical avergage normal YA girl) and she has no more family, except her uncle, who lives in Alaska and runs an Academy. So, Grace moves on to Alaska to live with him and her cousin, Macy. Everything is normal, until Grace realizes that something is not right. Surprise! Vampires, dragons, witches and shapeshifters are real! And she might be one of them! Plot: It was predictable as fuck. I could guess many things that were going to happen and I wasn't surprised. Also, there were many plotholes, that left me with many many many questions that were not answered in the entire book. Lia killing Grace's parents has no sense. I mean, beside of being senseless, it's stupid and has no point. No one could saw that coming (let me explain you why before you think "uhm, yeah, well, that's the point of a plot twist") because there was no hint that Lia had something to do with it. Lia is barely in the book, and appears only when it is convenient for Grace, not to give us hints that hello! she is the "villain". Lia being the villain is a crime. I'd rather be a good villain for this book. I mean, I get it, you want your "mate" *insert gags* back and you're suffering, but, sweetie, why you didn't kill Grace inmediately? It was ridiculous and lame. Why Grace was left alive? What specie does she belong? Is Hudson alive? Why is she a gargoyle now? Why we had Jaxon's pov? (I dind't read them all tho, lmao) What was the real purpose of Lia for wanting Grace, a simple human, to her sacrifice? Will Grace have some braincells in the second book? We'll never know. Also, I think everything goes really quick in the span of 2/3 weeks. And I mean it: everything. Characters: Oh, this one is gonna be amazing. Get ready. Grace: I always liked to think: "what would happen if I find out that vampires are real? how would I react?" and the answer it's totally the opposite to what Grace did. Grace isn't smart, let's face it. Any of the mc with vampires involved is it. They're more interested on the hot dark haired guy who's telling them to stay the fuck away from them because, they're dangerous. *stares at Edward Cullen* But, the girl is drooling for the vampire since the moment they make eye contact and then it's insta love. uGH. I mean, Jaxon is telling you to stay away from him, to scare you and in the first moment you're touching him because why not? he's hot and totally not like the other guys you've met before, and oh, also the scar that makes him look like a true fucking bad boy. Yeah, no thanks. For some reason, she's the one who summons problems and Jaxon is "saving" her. She's convinced to it and despite of what he's done, she thinks he's the good guy, the victim, the hero and the most powerful dude in the world. Ugh, ugh, ugh, cringe. What amazes me of Grace is the fact that she wasn't scared to see what Jaxon can do... Sweetie, are you ok? Anyone in their five senses would have left the dude when he warned the first time. Anyone. And you can think "if a guy like him told me to stay away from him, I wouldn't do it, because he's hot", yeah, but hE'S CREEPY AND A STALKER AND A MURDER, WHAT THE HELL!?!?!?! I can't blame Grace for all the shit going in her life tho. I feel pity for her tbh. The fact that she said "Jaxon was never

meant to be the hero of my story... because I was always meant to be the hero of his." killed me, but not in the good way. For some reason that is beyond of my comprehension, it's like Grace believes that she can fix Jaxon, that she can make him see that he's a "good guy" and that he doesn't have to carry the weight of the world. (what the actual hell??) Jaxon: The great, handsome, vicim, hero, powerful, hot and mysterious Jaxon Vega. He's a fucking dick. He's a stalker (in his chapters he clearly says it) and a prick. Oh my gods, I truly hate him. The only good with him is his taste in music (because it's written by a women), but the rest? ugh, he reminded me of the average vampires who think they're the heroes of the story and the world depends of them (Edward, Hawke, Rhys but he's a fae ik, and who knows who else, ewwww). He's disgusting in so many levels that I can't explain. I still wanna know something: what had to do Jaxon in Lia's plan to kill Grace? I know that boy ain't something good. My ace ass was cringing everytime he appeared in front of Grace and I was relieved when he was gone. I don't have much to say about him, beside that I don't like him and hIS ONLY EXISTENCE IS A FUCKING RED FLAG. My boy Flint deserved better tbh. I was most interested on him beING A FUCKING DRAGON, THAT'S AWESOME, that in Jaxon being a typical vampire. And I will never get tired of say that Flint is way fucking better than Jaxon. He's my boy, ok? ok. Macy was irrelevant, even tho I loved her a lot, even more than Grace. She deserved better and if she is not endgame with Flint, I'll riot. Romance. Nope. No. NO. nO. The fuck no. How you can fall in love with a guy you barely met 2/3 weeks ago? And even more, say that you love him. On the first day in Alaska, Jaxon warned Grace to stay away from him, and she touches him like they're something ??????? And on the third day, she's drooling at the sight of the guy because he "saved" her. Everything was so rushed and it was like it existed a "love triangle" bUT FLINT DIDN'T HAVE A CHANCE LIKE JACOB IN TWILIGHT, LOL. We all know from the beginning that Jaxon (Edward) is gonna be the champ, the winner and the endgame. You can predict that from the beginning of the book. Also, MATES???? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME??!?!?!??!?! This trope is so used and boring that makes me sick. I mean, please, give me something built from zero. Not the "they're meant to be and that's it. suck it" nOPE. Give me plot twists. Hype. Like with From Blood and Ash this book is so overhyped. I mean, I read it because I like vampires and the academy trope. But literally, many people told me "this book is everything" "you're gonna love it" "Jaxon is so wonderfu, sexy and you'll love it"... Yeah, well, you can see now how it went. This book isn't thaaaaaaat bad, but isn't good either. It's fast paced, yes, but not something that I would recommend. You know? I think age is hitting me like a bitch and saying that many of the YA vampire books are not my thing anymore, and I really love vampires, lol. ANYHOW. This is my opinion, I'm not saying that this is purely trash or something like that, and you know why? Because I'm gonna read the second book of this one to see if my boy Hudson still alive, yep.

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