#the comfort they feel—

[roebeanstalk]

reblog to manifest gender euphoria for the person you reblogged this from

#it'll also give you euphoria btw #however you are rn is enough and you're doing enough #you deserve to feel comfortable even when your body doesn't match your identity #smooch

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

#also if it wasnt clear this isnt ‘its bad its lazy’ there is a level of like #completion consistancy i am thinking for with this #personally i really do not enjoy the like. vintage chic long red nails fur coats noir esque aesthetic HOWEVER 💥💥💥 #i can recognize that it is put together it is Intentional #i feel like a lot of people are going to say minimalism on this so LET ME SAY 🫰☝️ i recognize that minimalism is Considered an aesthetic #but i *PERSONALLY* do not consider it an aesthetic i consider it the void of one #it is a lapse in aesthetic or personality in the same way a silence in a song is still technically a ‘beat’ but no music is played #however the importance of Space or Breath in design is more akin to a purposeful silence in music #because that silence matters in the same way rhythm and breath in design do #so i guess minimalism is more comparable to like. white noise. the sound of a fan #very little effort and there is a comfort in it i suppose but its not. A Design. okay #TO ME 🤫 #if minimalism has one hater its me if minimalism has no haters im dead

[oars]

#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way. #anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

[gibbearish]

kids who werent raised christian being like "lol baptising children is whack if they tried to do that to me i would start doing things to make it look like i was possessed" no you would not. you would bask in the pride and approval coming from the adults around you and you would quietly wait your turn because you were told from birth that sinning sends you to hell and baptism is The Promise that youre dedicating your life to jesus that youve had hyped up for years and watched other people be fawned over as they cry happy tears about it and you do NOT want to fuck up your One Big True Promise To Love Jesus Forever So You Don't Get Tortured For Eternity when you are literally 8 years old. im begging yall to remember its a thousand times easier to see the church's bullshit for what it is when you're not actively in the church. eight year old you is not thinking about trying to fight back against an oppressive religious group indoctrinating children because You Are The Children Being Indoctrinated. stop acting like you would've magically known better if it were you.

#origibberish #ex christian #also yes this is very christian centric but from what ive gathered this could go for Catholics and mormons w their confirmation things #but i know very little about either so didnt feel comfortable mentioning them explicitly in the post

[ladybugboots]

I will draw a Pokemon of your choosing for proof of e-Sim donation! (any e-Sims bought AFTER Jan 22nd). The higher the donation, the more effort it'll have.

Please refer to the instructions on https://gazaesims.com/ for how to buy and send an e-SIM for Gaza! Take a screenshot confirmation that you've sent the QR code to the correct email ([email protected]); please include date/time of purchase and amount spent or GB amount!

Then, send that screenshot to [email protected], along with a Pokemon you want me to draw!

Please do not use my art for hateful agendas, NFTs, AI training, or monetary profit (like selling it). Thanks!

From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free!

#edited it to further clarify what to include in the email! #OH additional thing but you can censor whatever other personal information if you need to feel comfortable i just need to know what's above #i'm not going to be looking at anything else promise #pokemon #e sims for gaza #free palestine #ladybugtxt #id in alt text

[rexalogy]

Every Taylor Swift song

#I truly truly cannot empathize with anyone in limerence with her in fact it feels betraying. #all of the interesting beautiful art in the world and the only thing you can blow up is another implicitly conservative value white woman? #having to write narratives about her hypothetical dykeishness to feel comfortable with that dissonance? as if that would even absolve her #it’s not that I hate Taylor I just hate this unwillingness to engage with where her worldview has serious limitations and it seeps #throughout her discography. I think loving art comes with being able to recognize where it fails #what politics are present in it. it’s not deep it’s not subtext it’s all just right there

[devilfruitdyke]

we need to destroy the idea that girls should wear makeup. normalize bare faces on prom queens and flower girls and cheerleaders. no products at all instead of '7 product simple makeup routine.' no more 10 step skincare and regular facials and dermablading and gua sha just to be comfortable with yr natural face. i want to see eye bags on the funny librarian and acne on the swim coach and wrinkles on all our adult role models. i want to see a 16 year old girl that has never tried putting on eyeshadow. i want to see a 7 year old girl who doesn't have to go out and buy powder for her dance recital. i want to see trans women and girls everywhere to never have to wear makeup, regardless of how well they 'pass.' no more 'contouring to look masc' either. a post-beauty industry world is possible

reblogs are on but if you bring up the stage makeup point that i have addressed three times yr blocked on sight ☹️

#this is me warding myself against the b arbie m ovie shitstorm. </3 #too many teenage girls have had 'bimbo feminist' thrust upon them by the attention economy + consumer-feminist culture #its ok to just be fucking lame. like you can still be fem/me and stuff while doing it #there is a world where you can feel comfortable in yrself even if you arent Aesthetic #the makeup industry is trying to hinder this tho #plus i saw that post thats like. 'the reason we see a lot of casual pseudo-gender-essentialist and choice feminism rhetoric... #... is because we have fewer posts now that have basic feminist messages' #that resonated so i am the change i want to see in the world #i wanna try and make a r iot g rrrl masterpost for anyone getting into that side of things later so lmk if you want to see it

[melmov]

I cast: curse of the eldest (can’t ask for help)

#dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #dc #art #my art #digital art #fanart #dick has eldest daughter syndrome #cant ask for help or burden anyone but will always be there for everyone else #Jason sees right through him but he doesn’t know how to make someone feel comfortable with being open #ugh I have so many feels #I’m about to make dick and Damian art because me and my youngest siblings are closest and idk how to even talk to the others

[pseudophan]

anthony is dead: the funeral roast (paid content)

#daniel howell #amazingphil #dan and phil #phan #smosh #anthony padilla #mine #my content #hi sorry i can't get a hold of the person who shared this clip with me so i don't feel comfortable posting it in full #however i'm not a good enough person to Not Gif It #so here u go here's a bit of it in gif form lol #i'm going to sleep i'm sure by the time i wake up the full video will be up #oh also oh my god this clip gives me such super amazing project vibes i almost cried #ok. anyway. it's 8:20am. im drunk still. goodnight im finally going to bed x

[theorderofthetriad]

#obligatory relevant discworld quote that i didn't feel comfortable derailing the post that reminded me of it for #discworld #terry pratchett #not tagging the book name for obvious reasons #santagno #top tino post

[forestofsprites]

i think that sometimes the best thing that you can do is remind yourself that there are beaches. lakes, rivers, and ponds. there are forests. little woods and meadows. there are canyons. gullies and mountain cliffs. there are rainy days. dry spells and scorching blue skies. that the world turns. changes as much as it repeats. that feeling slow today won't stop tomorrow's high tide. won't make july's blackberries any less ripe

#i do think there's a comfort in knowing the world won't stop for me #that me feeling off kilter doesn't mean spring will come any slower #i suppose. when life feels out of our hands. out of control #the planet keeps doing its thing #and we will be there to meet it #to engage w it. to witness it. to make changes where and when we can #too much change lately!!!!!! too much life out of my hands!!! #thoughts

[cocoabell]

A bitter reminder 🥀

#the legend of zelda #tears of the kingdom #loz totk #totk #link #totk link #silent princess #sometimes i question why people read hurt/no comfort #and then here i am #making my fave cry #anyway it can't be easy wandering the lands with a constant reminder of Her #he doesn't know if she's okay #where she is #and all he has to feel her presence is these flowers #brb gonna cry in a corner #zelink if you squint #cocoabell doodles

[zaana]

Crosshair being a big brother

#the bad batch #star wars #fanart #tbb omega #tbb crosshair #crosshair and omega hug #this last episode had me feel feelings #i want to see them hug #i'm so weak for cross being a big brother for her #i was worried it might a bit out of character #for omega #but she's still a kid who sometimes needs comfort too #tbb spoilers

[1982brucespringsteen]

some good news!! the spanish state's ministry of equality has finally passed one of the most progressive trans laws on the planet, shielded free and universal access to abortion and banned conversion therapy and genital surgery for intersex babies, among a lot of other feminist policies. the minister of equality irene montero gave a speech thanking spain's lgtb and trans associations for helping her draft these legislations. couldn't be more proud!!

#spain #trans #ill always prioritize queer&trans revolution over reformism but man. man these are good news #these are gonna make people's life so much more comfortable #i was lucky enough to live in andalucia where we have THEE most advanced regional legislation on trans rights #so i didnt have to fight too many people to access hrt and to change my name on legal docs #but other ppl on the spanish state have been suffering so fucking much #and yeah this law doesnt cover non binary people or migrants but the door is fucking open. its a step forward #and after this terrible terrible week #after the antitrans antisemite game & brianna's murder and so many rampant transphobia #it feels nice to get a win #to have someone in power be so unwaveringly supportive #the queer community in the spanish state is NEVER gonna forget this. never #anyways!!! #felicidades gente trans española!!!! nos vemos en el registro civil dkkskdkkdkxkdk #mine

[ulgapodatkowa]

i said it once before and I'll say it again: queer community. the calypso's birthday episode is fucking pride man. and for izzy, oh for izzy, to be able to finally be free like that? he doesn't understand wee john's 'look' at first but he knows how it makes him feel, so he gets one as well. and for such a repressed queer man to be able to walk out in drag it's huge. AND he sings a love song!! la vie en rose, that's a staple of love repertoire. so izzy feels comfortable, at home enough to be able to go on the deck and show himself as a queer man that loves. he finally accepts that about himself enough to show it. he kisses wee john's hand. he puts on a show. and the crew loves it, sings along with him at the end. one more song indeed, cocksuckers!

#my brain after i finish an episode: people must know how strongly i feel about izzy #the level of 'comfort' this tiny character holds #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #our flag means death #izzy hands #con o'neill #wee john feeney