What do you want to know?
Kamala wasn't one to overextend her welcome when she knew her presence wasn't wanted. Over the years she had gotten exceptionally good at telling when this was the case, saving herself the embarrassment of midless small talk to cover up the obvious truth with simply deciding to leave on her own terms. But now, as she sat across the Carstairs drawing room, looking at the man before her, Kamala could tell she wasn't wanted. She just didn't care. Alastair narrowed his eyes at her and sat in silence, as if waiting for her to depart out of sheer awkwardness. If she had been inserting herself into his company for any other reason than the one she had, maybe Kamala would have succumbed and made her leave. But she had a mission, and even if Alastair seemed to grow more annoyed by her presence by the day, she couldn't leave. Not in good conscience.
It had been a few days after the leviathans attack, and it had been less than a week since Elias Carstairs death. She had always been curious about the Carstairs since they had arrived. Maybe it had been the overwhelming rumors that came with their arrival, maybe it was just the fact it had been a long time since she'd seen anyone that looked even the littlest bit like her. She knew of Alastair's existence because of Charles, but if the short mentions of his name were not much to go by, he gave her less in real life. He was always so closed off, a mystery. Kamala liked mysteries, there was part of her that felt drawn to him like one might be drawn to the unknown
But she had never seen a reason to approach besides her curiosity, until now. Until she had heard Mrs. Carstairs had been sent to the silent city, and that Cordelia Herondale had taken off to Paris. She had never particularly found herself a keened to gossip, but one couldn't stop herself from hearing rumors when they were being spread everywhere she turned. While everyone gossiped about the possible implications of Mrs. Herondales disappearance, she had felt a small pang in her chest.
Kamala wasn't sure why her first thought was that he'd be completely alone after his fathers death, but there was something about it that had not allowed her to let it go
So she went over the next day, on the excuse that she was dropping off a gift from her family in hopes of his mothers health and the babies save birth
It had only taken one look at him to realize why Kamala felt a certain responsibility to this boy she had never even correctly met
She could recognize the pushed down grief when she saw it, it was not that long ago the same haunted look had been worn by her eyes.
The mere sight of it had taken her aback, there were so many things she wanted to say, but they all died in her tongue. After that day she had decided to attempt to keep him some company, working up the courage to see if he'd allow her to help him with the grief.
She wanted to give him what she didn't have, because she knew what it was like to have the world tell you to move on when you were breaking inside. And no one should go through that alone
He had been glad to indulge her at first, but now he was tired, and she was relatively sure he had quickly come to loathe her visits
But she wasn't giving up that easily
"That's a lovely book you have there" she tried to carry the conversation, pointing towards a book on the table "Great expectations, good reading material"
"It was my sisters" he said with near no emotion "Have never actually read it
Kamala mentally cursed, his sister was probably the furthest subject he wanted to discuss right now
"Well Mrs. Herondale has an admirable taste" she mumbled, keeping her words low"
Alastair kept looking at her in silence, Kamala wasn't sure what she was trying to accomplish but she was certain she didn't want to hear what he was thinking
"Is there anything you want to ask me Mr. Carstairs" she said, unable to stop herself
"No" he considered "I'm just trying to figure out what you're doing here"
"I'm not sure what you mean"
"It's been 5 days Mrs. Bridgestocks, we've made awkward small talk, we've discussed recent news, I am certain we are the last people we would like to see, so please explain to me what you are doing here"
Alastair laid back and tilted his head "Because if the reason you are here is what I think it is i'd rather you confess now and save yourself and your family the embarrassment"
She felt a chill run down her back "What?"
"You won't find any information on the herondales with me" Alastair explained 'So if that is what you are here for please make your leave and tell the inquisitor no one knows anything and that he'll simply have to wait for Mr. Herondale to return like the rest of us"
"Both Mr. Herondales" he scoffed, correcting himself
"So you think I'm a spy?"
"Well aren't you?"
"No" she argued "And it quiet offends me that you think I am"
For the first time since she had arrived, Kamala could see him show her an emotion other than annoyance, he raised an eyebrow and tried to hide his confusion
"So you aren't here to try to get information on the herondales for your father?"
"Of course not" Kamala let out, crossing her arms
"Then, forgive me for being so forward with you but" his eyebrows furrowed as he looked at her "Why are you here"
"Well it's certainly not for the good reading recommendations" she exclaimed, pointing at the book at the table "Have you truly never read Great expectations?"
"I've been horrible to you" Alastair said standing up, starting to pace around the drawing room "All this time I thought you were a spy, why in the name of the angel would you have put up with that?"
If she told him the truth, she knew she'd drive him away, but maybe she could come close enough "I know your mother and sister left, I thought you could use some companion"
"There was no reason for you to do so I am perfectly capable of -"
"Being capable of being alone doesn't mean one should be subjected to do so" she cut him off "Believe me I know"
"So here's what I think, if we're both going to be alone we might as well be alone together, I'm not asking for much, just allow us to have tea, once a week, that way you can decide whether you hate me or not without believing I am spy clouding your judgement"
Kamala stuck out her hand "We can make a deal out of it"
For a second she had feared she had gone too far, maybe he really did loathe her and he was going to ask her to leave. But after a second Alastair carefully took her hand
"I'll see you next week'
@eugeniaslongsword @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @styxdrawings @foxglove-airmid @itsjusta-j-really @shadowhuntertrash @alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1 @cant-think-of-anything @anarmorofwords
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Chain of Iron Final Thoughts
I have stewed, and discussed, screamed, and cried about all of my thoughts on this book, but after three days, I think I can finally make some sort of coherent analysis of the heartbreaker that is Chain of Iron.
Overall, I loved this book- I loved this book in a way that I can only love Shadowhunter books. It was a classic 2nd Cassandra Clare book in a trilogy, which is always the most anxiety inducing, and always takes me the longest to read because I keep needing to take a moment to process the stress and calmly try not to throw the book across the room.
With that said, here are the key things that I need to talk about (read : the key things that aren’t me screaming about James and Cordelia that I need to talk about):
Grace Blackthorn deserves several things : 1.) A chance to redeem herself - I have prior text post about how she needs to be cut slack and is basically a female Jace, 2.) To be shown love and compassion by someone other than Jesse (Kit, this looks like it might be up to you). 3.) To be trained as an actual Shadowhunter and have these powers taken away from her. I loved learning so much about her in this book and it made me like her SO SO much. I will accept nothing less than at the very LEAST her being given the opportunity to be a part of the community.
The next thing I want to hit on is a little sensitive, but I really feel like it’s important. The Matthew/Elias parallel that kept being brought up is very concerning to me as a fan. As a reader, I think that it is an excellent device, and of course. Cordelia who feels like she failed at saving her father (and let’s be real, feels like she’s failed at everything in this book) jumps at the chance to save Matthew from himself. But as fan, I see that and my heart breaks, because Cordelia is never going to be able to give him what he needs to fix himself, even if she really does love him. Matthew needs to help himself. By the angel, I hope that he does.
Not much to say about this next thing just need to scream it into the ether : FUCKING LILITH. I was having severe CoLS flashbacks.
It’s only natural that the next thing I talk about is necromancy - which is to say Lucie Herondale can bring people back from the dead and I’M FUCKING HERE FOR IT. Ghostwriter had a great arc in this book - I loved every moment with them, and Lucie is becoming an overall TSC favorite for me. I am worried about her though. Is she ok? AND MALCOLM, my god MALCOLM.
My final big thing here is the gun. I love the gun. The gun is brilliant - I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE GUN.
And now, the long wait for Chain of Thorns.....
Chapter - Archangel Ruined (I know, I love pain)
Character- Grace, but also Thomas. He had a great arc too, and I just love him.
Moment - Christopher and Grace in the lab!! It was so cute and I loved seeing that side of Grace and seeing Kit be so excited to talk to someone it was UGH so good.
Quote : “But love is not always a lightning bolt, is it? Sometimes it’s a creeping vine. It grows until suddenly it is all that there is in the world.” - Matthew, oh Math. Please love yourself.
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