#the biggest mystery after 'how did iruka get his scar

[eats-the-stars]

so i’ve decided to write a naruto fanfic. well, a lot of them. and in the process i’ve been making OCs and...i forgot how much i love making OCs and going wild w/my original plots. especially for a world like naruto where you can get away w/basically anything. like right now my fav OC is a little girl from shimogakure. i gave that kid a feisty little talking nin-goat for a bff. why? because i could. they both exist to get escorted back to Shimo but i still put a lot of work into them. they’re not interested in making anyone’s life easier and it’s beautiful. iruka, kotetsu, and izumo are all children of refugees from Uzushio (they were on the same genin team bc i love them. also i made an OC jounin-sensei for them and she’s just...perfect. trap master. summons ninja weasels. expected her genin to die in like week 1. likes to ditch them randomly. doesn’t show up to mandatory events and ppl are like ‘did they even give u a jounin-sensei or?’ sometimes she sends a weasel w/them instead. half of konoha thinks their jounin-sensei is an actual weasel. might throw in some confusion where they’re like “...Itachi? The Uchiha? isn’t he...too young? and not a kunoichi?” (because his name means weasel lol) iruka’s grandma left a nin-cat behind and she (the nin-cat) decides to teach iruka and his pals the art of fuuinjutsu. iruka/izumo/kotetsu get more instruction from random ninja animals than actual people. izumo can see ghosts and they pitch in. nobody in konoha knows who/what their jounin-sensei is. w/the exception of Anko and Hayate. Ibiki is done. he keeps walking in on things and walking right back out). i made a whole plot about ppl from Konoha treating refugees n their kids like shit. Kotetsu gets a cool uncle. Izumo gets shitty parents. there’s an Uzushio district in Konoha. iruka’s grandma was a dragon. he adopts naruto. the peeps from Uzushio are more chill about the jinchuuriki thing. naruto gets lots of stories about his kickass mom. iruka teaches him how to summon seagulls and immediately regrets it. plot things happen and the uchiha massacre doesn’t go down. instead madara ends up getting his ass kicked by iruka’s grandma (the dragon one). itachi doesn’t defect. sasuke is just like...a teenager with a helicopter bro. still got dead parents tho. danzo’s plans keep going to shit. no breaks for him. team 7 is semi-functional since sasuke isn’t as messed up and naruto has tons of support and doesn’t need to go so hard to prove himself. i mean he still goes hard and he wants to be hokage but sasuke’s not a massive dick to him and there’s a good chunk of the village rooting for him already. plus sakura isn’t crushing on sasuke. since he’s not ‘the last uchiha’ there’s no girl craze over him. i just realized that a ton of my OCs are like...ninja animals. also relatives of characters + jounin-sensei for characters that never got those fleshed out in canon. but yeah this fic/AU is slowly spiraling out of control but i’m just gonna let it at this point. 

#naruto #fanfiction #i swear i just keep thinking of 'oh wouldn't it be sweet if?' and then running w/it #since we know basically nothing in canon about iruka and kotetsu and izumo as genin #i basically just went wild #and now in my AU nobody knows exactly what happened w/them as genin #the biggest mystery after 'how did iruka get his scar?' is 'who was their jounin-sensei?' #the scar theories are all absolutely wild (but i do have the answer in my fic and it involves his early rivalry w/Anko) #and jounin-sensei theories include: a weasel / a nin-cat / the ghost of various shinobi / one of their future selves / a spy /nobody #ppl who guess spy think that it must've been a cover-up and for security reasons #T&I sealed all the info and erased everybody's memories or had them replaced w/ridiculous ones #Anko loves coming up w/increasingly improbable explanations for things #Hayate knows all the secrets and bluntly tells ppl the truth but nobody believes him #they think he keeps getting duped and he needs to be less gullible #like 'hayate you gotta think critically my dude. you can't just believe anything ppl say' #and he's just like 'no but iruka's grandma really is a dragon and her cat taught him fuuinjutsu and izumo can see ghosts–' #and they're just like 'hayate. it's sweet that you believe all of that's true but...you're being duped. this is another mind game.' #and i know in canon Ibiki and Hayate were on the same genin team...so he'd hear all the truths #but then be like 'mmm. no. that's ridiculous buddy. lol. like really? he couldn't come bc his grandma's cat was teaching him fuuinjutsu? #and then like ten years later he's just walking along minding his own business #and he sees Iruka and Naruto at Ichiraku and he can hear them talking to somebody but there's nobody else there #and there's a gruff voice saying 'your sensei here took a whole month to master that seal.' #and ibiki pulls back the flap #and sitting on the 3rd stool w/its own bowl of ramen is a literal cat #it makes eye contact w/him #he drops the flap. walks silently all the way back to T&I and promptly has a minor mental breakdown #he spends the next 3 days flashing through every crazy think hayate ever told him

[whatwouldnarutodo]

~Lost~ Chapter 2: Arriving in Konoha

Pairing: Kakashi x Reader x Iruka

Rating: sfw (for now)

Chapter 1 here

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I will explain everything on the way", said Kakashi with an eye-smile as he waited for you to go and get your belongings. As you put the almost empty pepper spray in your backpack, a thought crossed your mind. "What about the...body?" you asked, swallowing heavily at the thought that you would have to dig a grave or carry the body all the way to this mysterious village.

"Don't worry about that, the ANBU in my team will take care of everything. Do you have all your stuff?"

You simply nodded while wondering why this man could keep so calm in such a situation. Was this really his everyday business?Your train of thought however was interrupted as you noticed two silhouettes emerging from the woods near the body. Both were wearing grey vests and...animal masks? This whole situation is getting stranger by the minute.

You added the animal masks to the mental list of things you wanted to ask Kakashi about. After walking quietly next to each other for a while, you finally found the courage to break the silence.

"So...Kakashi was it, right? I think you still owe me an explanation about ninjas and hidden villages", you said in a slightly teasing tone to cover up your nervousness.

"Ahh, that's right. It doesn't happen often that someone from the outside gets so lost that they end up here and someone of us has to explain our way of living to them. So where do I begin? Let's see..."

Your cheeks went pink when he mentioned getting lost. It was embarrassing, but it happens to the best of us...right? During Kakashi's explanation, you took a closer look at the man next to you. Your pitiful attack with the pepper spray earlier did not work because he wore a headband over his left eye.

As you just learned, the strange spiral on the metal plate symbolizes the hidden leaf village, his hometown. Maybe he hurt his eye in a battle and is now blind on that side? You tried to follow his words, but your mind soon started to wander yet again...He was quite a bit taller than you and also a bit older, but his already gray hair and the mask he wore over the lower half of his face made it more difficult to tell.

What's up with that anyways?

Either he was going for the mysterious look or he had something to cover up under that mask, like a really bad scar. If he was just trying to be mysterious, you had to admit that it definetly worked. There were not many people you found that fascinating at first sight, but there was just something about him that was captivating...and reassuring at the same time. You decided to trust him for now and put the knife away in your pocket.

Kakashi noticed what you did and raised an eyebrow. "I just told you about ninjutsu and that I can use chakra to produce lightning in my hand, and your first reaction is to put your knife away?", he asked while smirking under his mask.

"You know, I just figured that if you wanted to kill me, you would have done it by now. And I will only believe that you can do this lightning ninjutsu thing when I see it with my own eyes. From a safe distance, that is."

He let out a small chuckle and continued to explain something about genjutsu and different ninja ranks.

"...are called Mizukage and Raikage. And one important thing about the current situation in our village...oh, here we are!"

A closed gate with a few guards standing in front of it came into view. Kakashi went ahead and spoke a few words with one of the guards. As you came closer, you could start to hear what they were talking about.

"...really the right time to bring a foreigner to the village? After what happened...", said the guard.

"I don't think she's a threat", you could hear Kakashi say. "The decision of who is allowed in the village and who's not is up to the Hokage anyway."

One of the other guards opened the gate. As you walked past the guards, you could feel them staring at you, causing a strange feeling in your stomach. What could have happened here that they were this unwelcoming to travellers? This question would not remain unanswered for long.

"Kakashi, didn't you say that this village is one of the five biggest villages in this region? What...is this?"

You had not been exactly sure of how to imagine Konoha, but the view in front of you was certainly surprising. The two of you stood at the edge of a pit, wide enough to fit a village inside. But there was no village, just a few provisional wooden constructions in the very middle of the pit. Across said pit you could see a big cliff wall with five carved stone faces.They must be the faces of all the Hokage. So this definitely is the village he told me about.

"I understand your confusion. Konoha was attacked just a little while ago, which led to the complete destruction of the village. Luckily everyone survived the attack and now we live in simple cottages and tents in the forest to our left. Everybody is doing their best to help rebuild the village, but we could still need a few more helping hands", he said with a wink.

I can already see where this is going, you thought. I will only be allowed to stay here if I help to rebuild the village. But is this really a bad thing? This wouldn't be the first time I accept a job during my travel and I could do something good for the people here. Also there is just no way that I leave this region until I find out more about the whole ninja thing.

"I will take you to the Hokage's office first. I have to give a report about the mission and then we'll see about you."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 3 here

#naruto #kakashi #kakashi x reader #fanfiction #slow burn #strangers to lovers #kakashi hatake #sfw #konoha #ninja #anbu #adventure #japan #iruka #iruka x reader #kakashi x reader x iruka

[coffeecupandteatime]

Jagerbomb’s Mini Review #3!

Welcome to the glory of watching Jagerbomb lose his shit!

ʕಠᴥಠʔ Sorry for the wait everyone, I’ve been pretty busy. Also, if you guys know of any bad short fanfics, let me know! I’ll try to review those as well!

-rubs temples- This is going to sooooo enjoyable!

Note: I’ll do the first chapters for these types of reviews, mainly to save time and my sanity. Also, because finding the stories again is a pain in the ass.

 Harriet Potter leaves the Wizarding world behind, starting a new life in the Elemental Nations. Seeing how neglected little Naruto is, she takes him in and helps him out. UzumakiHarry! FemHarry! Slight Weasley/Hermione bashing! Possible parings with Itachi, Iruka, Genma, & Kakashi.

Female Harry?… Ooooooookay then!  ʕ.ᴥ.ʔ I can already tell I’m going to enjoy this.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Not Harry Potter, not Naruto, not anything else I might mention.

ʕಠᴥಠʔ Well, we can kinda tell you don’t own either, or else they would be shitfests.

Note: I have no Beta and edit everything myself, so if I made a mistake somewhere kindly point it out. I usually write on my phone and edit at 2am so I tend to miss things.

Hmm, well since you told us this beforehand, I can be a littler nicer.  ʕ0ᴥ0ʔ But mark my words, that doesn’t mean much with me.

Leaving the Wizarding World

And diving straight into the trashcan.

Harriet screamed and woke up a sweaty mess, the dreams were getting worse.

Like my need to drink right now.

Eerie morning light filtered through the ratty curtains and she flopped back onto the mattress in irritation. It was much earlier than she had intended to wake up but she was unable to fall asleep again, nightmares would do that to a person.

Wanna get some sleep, kid? Try chugging a bottle of Smirnoff, you’ll go right the fuck to sleep, trust the bear. ʕಠᴥ~ʔ

She sluggishly walked to the bathroom, shuddering at the coldness of the house, before turning on the tap and splashing her face with water.

Is the water hot? Warm? Cold? Why the hell is she splashing water on her face in a cold house?? ANSWER ME!  ʕಠ益ಠʔ

Checking herself out in the mirror, she felt a surge of triumph that she had finally taken corrective measures for her eyes. She no longer had to wear those hideous ill-fitting glasses that she grew up with, without them her emerald eyes shone brightly.

ʕ°ᴥ°ʔ Even though those round ass glasses are pretty important to Harry as a character. You suuuuure this is just a genderbend and NOT an OC?

Her aunt had always taken vindictive pleasure in making her look ugly. Harriet supposed she was taking on all the animosity her Aunt felt toward Lily. Harriet was starved for years, making sure she never measured up to her voluptuous perfect ten of a mother.

I don’t know there, Lily wasn’t exactly a ten… Or voluptuous...

Aunt Petunia also forced Harriet to keep her red tresses cropped short. The more it stuck up like an untidy boy's hair, the happier that vile woman had been. Due to her

Okay, why is her hair red instead of black? I get it’s female Harry, but with red hair it sounds more like his made up sister then Harry himself...

horrendous nest of hair and those vile glasses, her looks were often compared to James' instead of Lily's, even if she had her mother's coloring. Before leaving Hogwarts for the summer, Harriet would chop off her hair till it was as short as the beginning of the year. She had no choice, if the Dursley's had known she let her hair grow during the school year they would have beaten her savagely.

Whoa whoa whoa! Whoa! When the hell did the Dursley’s even fucking beat Harry? What the hell with people making the Dursley’s beat Harry and the village attack Naruto?! What the fuck people! ʕ╯ಠ益ಠʔ╯︵ ┻━┻

She learned to choose her battles carefully once she realized no one would be coming to save her.

-Deep breath slow exhale-.....I’m going to assume this author hates Ron and Hermione.

Harriet raised herself, she could live just fine on her own. She knew how to ration food and mange hunger, how to find a quick hiding place, how to keep secrets, and when to run away.

.,. You spelt manage wrong there buddy.

She learned early on to fear adults

Something no child should learn. Fuck oooooooff.

and had come to expect it, but it wasn't until she met Albus Dumbledore that she was exposed to ruthless manipulations.

Okay, been awhile since I read or watched HP, but why the hell is Albus always a manipulative CUCKOLD in these stories!? WHAT THE HELL!?!

Harriet shook off the feelings that came with letting herself dwell on the dead wizard, and shivered as she got dressed for the day. Today was important. Today she was finally going to do something about the gradual feelings she had been having. Ever since she had destroyed the horcrux in her scar, she no longer felt like she belonged in this world and it was an extremely troubling feeling.

This author has successfully said “Fuck canon!” \ʕ◕0◕ʔ/ WOO!

For the last five years, following the end of the wizarding war, Harriet Potter had been having dreams about the Veil of Death in the Department of Mysteries.

Didn’t you call them nightmares before? Also she’s been like this for FIVE YEARS and is just NOW doing something about it? Alright, pouring a drink.

Make Jager drink +1!

She could still remember the whispers that had called out to her the day Sirius had fallen through, they haunted her dreams. She would often wake up in the middle of the night in tears, her soul filled with a desperate longing to see the other side.

The other side of the Veil or of the bottle when it’s empty?

She knew it was some sort of gateway, the dreams told her that much.

Listen to your dreams kid! Even if they lead to certain death! \ʕ◕0◕ʔ/

The whispers in her dreams became clearer recently and talked about other worlds, new life, and a fresh start. Five years of the same dream and she'd finally given in, the voices had lured her in, and she was going through the veil to find peace.

I hope peace is where poorly genderbent *coughs*OCS*coughs* characters go when their unwanted.

She bitterly recalled the night she finally decided to finally act, it had been a couple months ago on her twenty-second birthday. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny had been visiting her for her birthday. Hermione, as usual, had been lecturing her about her lack of public appearances and was subtly trying to steer her towards going on a date with Percy Weasely, who was still a pompous ponce, when Ron apparently had enough.

Yep! Harry’s already genderbent, let’s throw in some OOCness for the others!

OOC Syndrome is wherever I go. ʕ;-;ʔ

"Look mate, it's not like you've much of a choice anyway. Dumbledore signed a marriage contract-

What in the ever living fuck in the bowels of hel-

Make Jager drink +1!

That’s 2! TWO!

-between you two while he was your magical guardian, so I reckon it's still binding. Percy's been waiting patiently for you, giving you time while he concentrated on his career. He'd hoped that by now you'd grow up a little and at least let him take you out." said Ron coldly.

Why do people INSIST on making Ron the biggest asshole alive?

Absolutely shocked over what she just heard-

You’re not the only one, hun. ʕಠᴥಠʔ

, it took Harriet a moment to compose herself while turning toward Ginny. "Is he serious? Your parents and Dumbledore secretly signed this marriage contract?"

Something's telling me it wasn’t a secret. Also what’s the reason for said marriage…?

"Not secretly," Ginny rolled her eyes. "Everyone knew about it. I thought you did too, why else did you never date anybody? Why do you think Order members always look at Percy and ask his opinion on matters concerning you? We never thought Dumbledore wouldn't tell you."

How the hell did she not hear about this? AUTHOR EXPLAIN!

"Right. Not a secret, but somehow I never got wind of it. It never came up...in the past twelve years?" Harriet said evenly, but the books on the shelves were beginning to shake.

TWELVE YEARS!? Was ‘Harriet’ living under a goddamn ROCK!?

They all looked slightly alarmed at that, and Hermione made the mistake of meeting her eyes. Harriet had become a fairly accomplished legilimens.

ʕ◕0◕ʔ The fuck is that? 

After her crap occlumency skills had gotten Sirius killed, she tried to hone the skill but was only mediocre at it.

For once the main character isn’t good at something that killed a relative.

Legilimency was where she shone, she was a natural at it and it was easy to become even greater than Snape. So when Hermione looked at her in alarm, Harriet saw everything.

Sooooo Legilimency is basically “LOOK INTO MY EYES CHILD AND TELL ME EVERYTHING!”? The hell is this, an anime?

She saw conniving whispers and conspiracy in the depths of her eyes. She had enough, Merlin's sake, Hermione knew, and she wasn't even a Weasley. They hadn't bothered to warn her, they were no friends of hers.

I get it’s magic, but how can you see all that with a simple glance in the eyes? ʕ-,-ʔ I’m calling laziness of Rowling's part.

Her green eyes hardened. "I'll speak to a Goblin about this situation, but you should know that a marriage is not happening. I'll see Percy dead before I risk my magic, and if I find anyone tampering with my future, I will end them. Now get out."

Again, this ‘Harriet’ shouts more ‘OC’ than ‘Genderbend”.

The lying trio eyed each other anxiously, they had seen glimpses of Harriet's ruthlessness during the war, but it was frightening to have it focused on them. Her usual friendly attitude had been replaced by an icy focus. Ginny warily nodded at Harriet and headed for the front door, Ron trailing after her, but Hermione hesitated. She reached toward the green eyed girl, but Harriet flinched away. Hermione sighed and said, "Harriet, don't make a mistake. You're practically a Weasley already, this would only make it legal. Besides, Percy is very responsible. You could use somebody like that, I can't always be there to-"

Annnnnnnd here’s the OOCness for Hermione.

Harriet wanted to rant at her when all at once, her anger left her, leaving her nothing but cold amusement.

So is this Harry or ‘Harriet’ or just  pure OOCness?

Hermione didn't know it but she had just give Harriet the sign she had been waiting for. She had been iffy on acting upon her dreams, but this was the final straw.

If you need more straws, I got some left over from a wicked party last-Oh, wrong kinda straw.  ʕ.,.ʔ Whoops.

"Always be there?" she answered mockingly. "You and Ron ditched me often enough. Luna was the one who was always there, till the very end. You and Ron abandoned me when I was hunting for horcruxes. I was alone, injured, wandless and-"

Yes, my child, let it all out.

Hermione puffed up like a toad,

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! THAT LEGITIMATELY MADE ME LAUGH!

reminding her of Umbridge for one hilarious moment, before letting out an aggravated huff. "I thought you were over that!"

.,. How the hell is ANYONE gonna forget shit like that?

Make Jager drink +2

THAT’S FOUR! FOUR!!

In a soft, cold voice she whispered, "I will never 'get over that'. You were never there when it counted. You and Ron would take the first couple of steps with me, but always gave up when things got complicated. Hell, the only reason you two and Ginny stuck around for the Department of Mysteries fiasco was because you didn't want to get shown up by Luna and Neville."

I love Luna and Neville, <3

Hermione scowled, but didn't disagree. "You know," she said haughtily, "I don't know what's happened to you. If you don't get your act together and stop being so moody, you won't have any friends left."

Letting out a bitter laugh, the dark-haired

But earlier you said her hair was red….CONSISTANCY AUTHOR! LEARN IT!

girl stared at Hermione with grim finality and a touch of sadness. "My true friends died during the Final Battle, fighting for what they believed in. You're just a cheap replacement."

All my friends are deeead! All my friends a dead! 

Was that too soon? ʕ° ͟ل͜ ͡°ʔ

Finally done reminiscing, Harriet pulled her hair up in a high bun. Today she was leaving. She felt a tingle of excitement as she quickly dressed herself in inconspicuous clothes. She had planned and prepared for this, but knew that chance played a role in all her adventures. The odds were against her, but she had won against them before.

She was a independent black woman now.

Harriet had prepared nearly everything well in advance. She gazed speculatively at the vial of Felix Felicis that had been 'bought' from Draco Malfoy.

Don’t be a sex thing, don’t be stealing, don’t be some cheap friendship crap.

He had earned his potions mastery after the war and became a friend.

FUCK!  ʕಠ益ಠʔ

Draco had given her the liquid luck in exchange for Grimmauld Place, who he was going to gift to his mother. Draco and Daphne were about to become the richest family in Britain, she was leaving all her wealth to them as a surprise for being the only people she had left.

…..What. In. The. FUCK!?

 Make Jager drink +10!

FOURTEEN MOTHERFUCKER! FOURTEEN!

With a sense of awe, she opened the vial and drained the golden potion to the last drop, smiling triumphantly as she felt the magic flow through her.

So liquid luck. Is that like a drug or some kinda Irish brew? Cos I’ll take some!

The witch entered the atrium of the Ministry, making herself invisible with her handy dandy cloak.

“I got my handy dandy notebook!” Harriet said as a blue dog appears.

Harriet thought she would at least feel nostalgic as she looked about this world for the last time, but she felt nothing but desperation to get away. She detested her place in the wizarding community, where she was alternately hated and glorified on the whims of the sheeple.

Hated? Glorified I could understand, but hated? What did Harry/Whoever the fuck this is, do to deserve that.

When she approached the Veil that had swallowed up her godfather, she didn't feel the same heartbreak she had experienced in its presence before.

FEELINGS ARE FOR THE WEAK!

Instead she eyed the archway speculatively. What world was she going to go to?

The reader’s already know that answer, they had to rifle through fanfictions to find this thing. ʕಠᴥಠʔ

Did Sirius go to the same one? Did time run differently there, was she going to be able to see him? The possibilities were limitless. Or maybe she would die like everyone else thought happened? However, Harriet had always trusted her instincts, so she took a deep breath, and stepped through the Veil.

Lesson of the story kids: ALWAYS trust your instincts when they tell you to jump into a weird ass portal! FOR ADVENTURE!

Up next: Harry meets Death and an old friend!

Welp we’ll never know since I ain’t revisiting.

Question: What should Harry's name in Naruto be? When you review, drop a name and tell me why! I'm partial to Hikari (light) and Misaki (beautiful blossom)

ʕ.,.ʔ Wot.

Conclusion!

3.5/10 for trying.

Anyways! That was… Fuck, can’t remember the title, I made this file a long time ago, Uh. I should really start writing down the stories I review… Anyways, it wasn’t bad nor good, it was okay. I don’t see the reasoning for making Harry female and OOC, or the rest of the characters OOC, other than to have a reason for ‘her’ to go to the Naruto World.

#harry potter #Naruto #Jagerbomb fun time #mini review #sporking #I need a drink