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#the best thing to happen to me ever if you'd let me read them
jaegerrb0mb · 3 days
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Even if it hurts <3
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Note: this is hot garbage I wrote half asleep listening to cigarettes after sex. I never wrote angst b4 so thought I’d give it a try. (I never read it back either, heeelp 😭)
Summary: katsuki bakugou has to end things with his gf of two years.
Warnings: none I can think of¿
Pairing: katsuki bakugou x fem reader
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"Listen, I love you, I really do, but with the way my grades are slipping, I need to focus on my hero work now more than ever. I just want you to understand that," his voice is calmer than usual. You feel tears drip on your clothing and look down at that.
You didn't even notice you were crying.
"But I don't want to lose you," biting at your lip to hold back a sob bubbling up your throat, you watch Katsuki through blurred vision as he shifts uncomfortably on his bed, Now avoiding eye contact with you.
When he texted you to come to his dorm room, this was the last thing you'd ever expected. But deep down, never wanting to admit it, you saw it coming, just not so soon.
"Y/n…" his voice trails off, fearing that if he looks at you crying, he might breakdown himself. "I don't wanna do this either, I'm not tryna be a jerk, but right now it's for the best. You'll thank me in the future when we're both top her-" cutting himself off when he hears you stifling, he closes his eyes tightly.
This hurts him just as much. It's impossible to hide it, yet trying to keep composed, he continues. "You're not losing me, I'm right here and I'll always be here for you. After graduation, if things go how I hope, I'll take you back in a heartbeat. I can guarantee that much." These words echo in your mind as the room falls into silence, the only sound being your hiccups and soft sniffles. It remains that way for a minute or so.
"Y/n," his voice croaks as he turns his attention to you, but the sight brings such a violent pain in his chest he didn't know was possible, almost like there was a knife twisting that he couldn't remove. He has to tear his eyes away once more, looking at anything else but you. He opens his mouth to speak, but you beat him to it.
"Two years... we've been together for two years, Suki," the sound of his name falling from your trembling lips burns his ears, and he knows whatever you say next will haunt him after.
"But I'll never call it a waste because loving you was the best thing I've ever done," you sobbed. Your throat feels swollen and stuttered as you try to speak the words in your head. "I'll respect your choice, even if it hurts. As long as you're happy and fine with this decision, then I'll be happy and fine with it. And that's all I ever wanted for you after all, to be happy." Tears roll down your cheeks as you try to put on a smile.
Katsuki's stomach turns as you finish. Everything in his being is yelling at him to take it all back, to tell you 'it doesn't have to end like this, we can work through it together.' However, he knows that's not true. He wishes it was, but he can't take on this relationship and his career at once. He tried to make ends meet, but it didn't work. He knows this is what has to happen. It has to be one or the other, and you know that as well. And god, does it hurt. His head is spinning and he feels sick. Katsuki never knew he could feel physical pain from something like this before, up until now.
A soft hand brushing against his cheeks reels him out of his thoughts. Looking up, he sees your puffy eyes and tear-stained face wiping away at his own. "We're gonna be okay, Bakugou."
You press a soft kiss on his lips, pulling away slightly and whispering against them. "Promise." His hand goes up to wipe away your own tears, and you let him. You both sit in silence, crying and basking in each other's touch one last time before you move away.
Making your way off his bed and to the door, you grab the handle hesitantly for a second before leaving.
As soon as you do, he quickly buries his head into his pillow, letting out an uncontrollable sob, finally breaking down. You hear it in the hallway, only making you cry harder as you walk further.
Both of you are heavy-hearted.
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nexusnyx · 1 year
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miss sunshine
pre-outbreak Joel Miller x neighbor!reader [7.3k] summary: He's always been out of reach. A fantasy. Joel was too much of everything—too handsome, too friendly, too una-fucking-vailable for any of you. Too bad his kid adores you. (What a blessing.) Too bad she uses you as a scapegoat and lands him right on his door. One bottle of wine, and Joel shows you he might be closer than you thought. 📝 I wanted to try something different. Less hurt, less end-of-the-world bullshit. Let me know your thoughts. Reblogs and comments are much appreciated. ⚠️Smut. Minors, DNI. Explicit depictions of sex, oral (f and m receiving), riding, missionary, passionate neighbors sex, yay.
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read on ao3 | masterlist
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤTexas, Summer of 2002.
When the bell rings, you think it's best to ignore it.
Living alone equals a lot of privileges, but the ability to go out alone and answer the door on a random Wednesday evening was not one of them. You're wearing compromising clothes and a robe, the bottle of wine you craved was finally open, and the last thing you wanted was to be murdered before enjoying it.
Then, you hear it. Your name, followed by, "It's Miller. Joel."
Fuck.
Well—this is exactly how many of your dreams started. Although this wouldn't go like them, for him, you'd open the door.
His eyes do little to hide the once-over when the door slides open.
They go down, then back up, and he seems to catch on to the fact that you saw it. Then, he shakes his head just a little, and says, "Is Sarah here?"
Well, well, well. You lean against the door. "Did she say she was?"
Joel pierces you with his Dad Look. "Yes." Obviously, it goes without saying.
What other reason would he have, right? Clearing your throat, you feel the anxiety bubbling underneath the surface. "Uhm. She isn't," you look apologetic as you say it. As if it's your fault his prepubescent daughter uses you as a scapegoat.
His sigh is enough to make you feel how tired he is. Overworked. Exhausted.
You try to understand what might've happened before he loses his mind, "What time d'you usually come back from work? Maybe she's at a friend's. She probably thought you'd be back later than this."
He finishes rubbing both palms all over his face, and he threads one hand through his hair. "I'm usually back at nine—well, I'm supposed to be back at nine. I'm usually home by ten." That checks out, then. "But—that doesn't explain why she lied to me."
"Any special occasions coming up soon?"
Joel frowns. "Uhm. My birthday's in a few days, but—"
"Ahhhh." It shuts his mouth, the way you exclaim it so clearly. "She's brainstorming, Joel."
"Brainstorming...?"
"A gift." No daughter had easy access to what made their fathers happy. You take pity on him. "C'mon—let me scare the little one."
You walk inside without waiting for his reply, knowing Joel will make his way in. "What d'you mean, scare her?"
The noise of his boots hitting the floor makes you happy.
You take the phone out of the wall and look at him. "She always keeps that cellular phone with her when she goes out?"
"Always," he nods.
"Perfect." You know it by heart already. As you dial, you feel Joel's eyes on your house. It's the first he's ever been inside, and it makes you hyperaware of every movement of his. "It's ringing," you inform him with a grin forming.
He looks confused. More tired than anything else, but it'll make sense in a second.
"Hey, miss Sunshine!" the nickname she gave you always brings a smile to your face.
Time to put on a show. Feigning panic in your voice, you yell-whisper on the phone, "S, love, would you mind telling me why on Earth is your pops—" you fake cover your end of the line to yell, "one minute!" then you're back at whispering again, "why is he parked outside my house right now? Is there something I should know?"
"Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit, shit—"
You're glad he can't hear her end of it. "No time for panic. Explain."
"I am so sorry, Sunny! I thought he'd be back in like, two hours or something. Oh, god, can you please cover for me? I wrote a note saying I was at your place. Sleeping there. I was gonna call you before he came back home but Jenny and I—"
"You're at somebody named Jenny?" you repeat the information, looking at Joel with a question in your eyes, and when he nods, your heart soothes at knowing she's safe. "And you didn't think to mention your brilliant idea earlier?" going for the full effect again, you yell out, "One minute, Joel!"
At least she's fast in her rambles. "Yeah, yeah. My best friend. She's trying to help me come up with a surprise for him. I'm not there often and it's never on his birthday. I wanna make it special."
"Okay. Cool. Next time, fill me in as you make the plans."
"I will, I promise. Pinky promise. You think you can convince him I'm sleeping there?" the plea in her voice is adorable.
You chuckle. "I've got you, S." Joel sighs in relief in front of you. "Just one thing."
"Yeah?"
"Be back here tomorrow first thing in the morning. 7:30 sharp. I'm gonna invite your dad for breakfast, as punishment for your lack of planning, and you'll be the one making us the pancakes," before she can even answer, you go, "Toodles!" and hang up.
When you put your phone back at the base, you turn around with a proud smile.
Joel's looking at you funny. "You're good at that," he says.
"At what? Acting?" you laugh when nods. "I was a trouble child. I'm great at lying."
"Aren't those the same?"
"Eh. A thin line separates them." You can sense his awkwardness creeping up, so you do your best to think on the spot. "Is she one to escape?"
"Not really, no." He's shuffling on his feet, uncertain of what to do in your home. "She's never done this before."
"From what she told me, she's never around for your birthday."
"That's true."
"She wants to make a surprise for you," you inform. It puts that smile on his face that makes your knees a little weak. "And now she has to be back here at seven in the morning. All is well."
He laughs. "Yeah, I guess so."
He's gonna see himself out. You swallow all the nervousness that being in his presence creates and just... goes for it. "Is it hard? Having a kid?"
That relaxes some of the tension in his shoulders. He leans on the counter of your kitchen and shakes his head. "Not really. It's a lot of work, but it's not hard. It's rewarding."
I wish my mother felt the same. You smile at the truth in his words. "I can see it's hard work." He laughs again. "Well—I had just opened that before you rang the bell," you point at the Pinot on top of the counter. "Want a glass? Unless you tell me you're 'only beer' kind of guy, then I can't help ya."
Joel looks between you and the bottle a couple of times, then looks down at himself. "I'm uh—I'm all greasy and gross from work. You sure that's the company you want for wine?"
Rolling your eyes, you walk towards your glasses cabinets. "If I told you that you can go home and shower, you'd never come back."
"And that'd be a bad thing?"
"Sure it would. You're the only person in this entire street that hasn't interrogated me on my life so far, I feel left out. Offended, even," you add with a dramatic twist. Your robe flows around you, and you can't help but smile when you see his eyes following you.
It's the way he swallows visibly, almost audibly, that plants a seed of maybe inside your head. "I'm not usually one to pry."
You place both glasses on the counter. "Neither am I."
"I know. It's why I like ya," Joel says it with eyes on the glasses instead of you. "That and the way you talk to the plants."
Your hand on the corkscrew stops, and you want to slam your forehead against the wood. "Oh, god."
His laughter is so nice. "Nah, don't be embarrassed. 's why I gave you your nickname."
"Don't be embarrassed? That's mortifying, Joel. I thought no one—wait." Had you heard him right? "What d'you mean you gave me my nickname?"
Joel's head tilts, and he's definitely a charmer kind of guy. If you do have a chance, you might be fucked. "Your nickname."
"Miss Sunshine?" He nods. "I thought that was Sarah."
"No, Sarah used it first in front of you," he pulls one of the glasses closer to him. "I said it first."
Well... that made it just as special but in a different way. You pour the wine into both glasses. "Good to know. I was under the impression she was the creative genius in the household—I just. Quick question that I never asked her: Why?"
"'Cause every mornin' before I left for work you're there on that big window," he points at the glass window that's occupies ceiling to floor, the very reason you picked this house, "talking to your plants as if you're the sun itself waking them up. 's cute."
Cute. You hate how he has the ability to make you blush. What is this, fucking high school?
"That makes sense."
Joel wipes his palms on the side of his t-shirt and then looks up at you. "If I go home with the promise of comin' back, will you let me shower?"
Let me. You're thankful your arms are covered because you're unsure of what this man is capable of when he knows the effect he has on somebody.
"I'll let you," you answer.
Joel nods and his smile is so genuine that you wonder why you never tried before.
"'kay," he takes one sip of the wine, hums in approval, and then takes a deep breath. "'m gonna go. I'll be back to interrogate you."
"I'll leave the door open."
"No—Jesus bloody Christ, are you and Sarah mad? Lock the door, Sunshine." You like it so much when he's the one that says it. "I'm serious."
"Alright, jeez," you laugh.
It's less tense than you imagined as he puts his shoes back on and walks out of your door. Joel crosses the street with a little wave in your direction, and all you can think is—what on Earth am I gonna do to him?
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When he's back, Joel smells so good it's intoxicating.
It makes your brain melt.
Minty and fresh. That's what his stuff smells like, and you know the idea of that scent's now painted on the walls of your brain.
He does that stupid little dad pose, widening both arms and lifting them up in a display of 'what do you think' before walking in.
It makes you want to push him against the wall, but you do your best at behaving.
For now.
"Brand new man?" you ask.
He points at his glass of wine, untouched since the moment he left. "Will be in a sec."
You wait for him to take a sip before extending him what you held in your hand before he arrived.
Joel eyed the cigarette and, thank fuck, there was none of the annoying judgment sometimes people carried. He stops his movement to sit on the stool and asks, "You smoke in here, or are we goin' outside?"
"There's a table there. Weather's nice. D'you mind?"
Joel grabs his glass, shaking his head. "Not at all, ma'am. Lead the way."
"Ma'am," you echo him, sounding disgusted. He laughs behind you, "Who am I, Mrs. Adler?"
Still laughing, Joel answers, "Nah. Too talkative for that."
You turn around with your mouth hanging open, trying very little to look offended. "I beg your pardon. We never spoke for longer than, what, five minutes?"
Joel shrugs his shoulders. His smile is as intoxicating as his presence. "I hear things."
"You hear things?" you ask, pushing open the door that leads outside.
"I do," he sips his wine, looking to the small terrace where your little table is. "My daughter's a gossiper, little Sunshine. I think y'should know that."
Little Sunshine. Goddamn this man.
"Should I be scared, here? I haven't even told her anything, but I feel like I should be."
"If you didn't tell her anythin', than why would you be?"
"Because!" you laugh, feeling just a little out of your depth with his smoothness. You expected more closeness from Joel. Less teasing, easy banter. "You're talking like someone who knows a lot, that's all."
"And I do," he says, sounding every bit as serious.
You sit down on one of the chairs — your chair, precisely — and watch as Joel walks around a little, taking in the environment. He adds, "Did ya know," pausing for a dramatic effect, he sips again, "that in all of three months, you became one of my daughters' favorite people?"
He pins you under his gaze.
You cross your legs, and watch happily as his gaze drops to the motion.
"Did I?" if you sip at his pace, you'll be throwing yourself on his lap in an embarrassing amount of time.
Joel nods behind his cup, touching one of the many plants that cover your backyard area from floor, to walls, to ceiling. "You did," he smiles, dropping the fake seriousness. "Are you ready to deal with the six months absence? 'Cause from personal experience," he points both hands at his chest, "you try convincing yourself you won't miss her all that much 'cause, y'know, it's "just" a girl, but—fuck," he spits the last word, smiling widening around the fact. "She's so cool to have around. You'll see. Your phone's bill's about to create life."
It grounds you.
The way Joel speaks of Sarah makes you feel comfortable sitting here, and any doubts you had are sucked by the green life around you and returned as oxygen.
Joel talks about anything, no reservations.
In his absence, you doubted whether this could be any different than most times.
Would Joel be like that—like any of those other guys?
He wasn't.
Joel, as much as you hated to admit it, was an exception.
Maybe these things were fated. Simple chemistry. Similar mindsets. Whatever it was—you had it every once in a blue moon.
Your expectations settings were long ago molded to expect the least, and it takes only half a bottle of wine for you to notice the need to rear it in.
He's so damn easy. Joel goes from one topic to another like he's interested. He answers your questions with full interest, sometimes going on tangent stories, and he's the one who keeps the glasses filled.
Attentive, you take note the second time that happens. Before any of the glasses got empty, he served you both.
He compliments your taste in music and sounds genuine about it.
The weird silences you most dreaded never happen—if he's not answering you, Joel asks things. Interesting things, unlike any other neighbor.
"Was it you who decorated your place inside? 'Cause, there are very specific things in there. And you seem like the type to know what you like."
Joel was very attentive.
He asked, "and is this what you like to do with your free time?" pointing at the books you put away when you both arrived, "Drink wine, read, talk to your plants?"
"I still can't believe you've seen me doing that."
He laughed at that. "It's a pretty big window, Sunshine. Jesus Christ—you don't lock the door, you don't know people can see through your gigantic-ass window—I'm genuinely starin' to get worried here."
"Okay, first of all, I do lock my door."
"Do you?"
"'Course. Most days."
"Oh my—"
"—and! Now that I was reminded of my window's size, I'll consider buying drapes. Long, white ones. That'd be cool."
It was easy.
Talking to Joel—sharing a table with him, a glass of wine—so easy.
He never looked uncomfortable. Even if he moved a lot, Joel looked good—so damn good you lost focus every now and then—, but good with himself.
In his skin.
That was intoxicating.
When he does more than just talk and asks things; it's almost too damn easy. Was time supposed to go this way?
The first bottle end, but it's too soon.
You know it. He knows it—plays with it, in fact. Waves the empty bottle after pouring it for you and him in the air very lightly then places it on the floor.
Offering another one is almost a visceral reaction.
You don't have the same finesse he does, or at least, you think not, but if his smiles and closing proximity are anything to go by, he's enjoying himself as much as you are. "I dance around opening these a lot," you say pointing at the empty bottle. Pulling your legs closer to yourself despite the voice of your mother telling you that's a body language sign of insecurity—fuck insecurity. "Don't wanna be the wine lady on top of the plant one. But they're good. I like it."
"I only drink wine when my brother cooks," he offers.
The glass in your hands makes you feel safe enough to land this conversation where you want it. "Really? He cooks a lot?"
"More than me," Joel confesses with a shrug. "He likes to match the wine to the dish and that type o' stuff."
"I was taught how to be picky, but if I'm being honest—" you like the way Joel leans in closer when you pause it. You smile, "it's all just grapes tastin' really, really good." The sound of his damn laugh. This man's gotta have a flaw, you think. "As long as it's wine, I'm happy."
"I think that about a good beer after a day of work."
"We're all just trying to give ourselves little positive reinforcements for playing nice at doing our jobs, huh?"
Joel pauses at that. Lifts his eyebrows, then bursts out laughing. "Oh, wow—"
"Oh god", while it took you a lot of alcohol to get drunk, being open-mouthed about weird things came with the territory of feeling comfortable.
Joel made you comfortable, even if you were mortified at how amused he was.
When he's done laughing, he looks at you. "That's cute. You're the philosophical type."
"Isn't everybody who enjoys wine?"
"I don't know. I enjoy wine and I'm not one to go that far, I think."
"Hmm. Philosophizing can involve different topics. Lenses."
Joel wolf whistles. "Well, I think I'd need a couple more glasses to unlock that side of me."
"Not a problem," you get up, and resist the urge to wink at him. "I'll be back."
Your reflection in the kitchen mirrors is the confirmation of how fucked exactly you are.
It's more than just the color on your cheeks—it's the glassy screen over your eyes, making it shine like...
Well, very few times.
Fuck, you think.
Maybe that's why your palms are sweating.
He's more than you bargained for—Joel's looks were hard to move on from, but this?
Once in Rome...
Fuck it.
It's not as if either one of you was blinded to what a moonlight late-night conversation leads to.
The air outside could be felt.
When you're going back with the opened bottle, another pin drops in your mind.
He has the whole night free.
You don't break the bottle, but it's a close call.
Joel asks you the second you're back, "I have a depressing confession to make—I was tryin' to keep to it to myself, but honestly, it's all I taught about when you left."
You place the bottle in the middle of the table carefully and sit back down with your eyes on him.
He moved his chair closer again.
"Do share," you urge.
Joel looks around the yard—he seems to do it a lot when he's dipping his toes into personal places and says, "This is the first time in a—uh—I don't even know. A while. That I just... sat with another adult. Drank something nice. Talked about more than just—fucking politics, or whatever." Joel's eyes on you make you feel honored. You know he'd say that's a silly thought if you said it out loud. "It's really nice. And—the depressing part comes in now: I'm only here 'cause of my brother."
You tilted your hair. "You're here because... of Tommy?" you tried connecting those dots, but came up short.
Thankfully, Joel was here. With his smile, and his explanation.
"You see, before Sarah's mom and I decided she could spend some months here instead of just a few weekends, I was already... shutting in. His words, not mine," Joel picks up his glass for a sip, and you hang onto every word he says. "So when she came, he took me out one night. That little bar a few blocks from here—y'know Mr. O'Donovan's place?" when you shake your head, he waves a hand, "I'll take you someday—'s the only place around here that's worth a dime."
"I'll take your word for it." I hate bars. You'd go for him. With him.
"I think I know what beer you'd like," it comes off as a whisper, and you have to hide behind your glass again. "I only remember that talk because he made me promise. He's not one to ask for promises."
"What did he make you promise?"
"He was upset 'cause I kept turnin' him down every time he wanted to do his 'meet my friend and you'll be good friends' match-making shit, so he said, 'you promise that the next time someone invites you do somethin' you actually wanna do, you're not gonna turn 'em down? You'll actually fucking go, without makin' excuses to yourself'. And that sounded fair. So I promised."
You take note of the effort he's making.
The subtle 'this isn't just about what's about to happen'.
'I'll take you someday'.
'Next time someone invites you to do somethin' you actually wanna do'.
So more than just neighbors. You nod at that, smiling at him. "He seems like a good brother," you say. "Siblings can be a pain in the ass."
Joel stops his glass on the way to his lip to shake his head at you, "Oh, no no," he takes the sip first, and says, "one doesn't negate the other. He very much is a pain in my ass, trust me."
You laugh. "Older and younger?"
"Younger," he nods. "I had a lil' bit of peace here and there before he was born."
"Can't imagine you'd have it any other way nowadays."
He agrees with you.
When he doesn't, Joel scrunches his nose as he shakes his head.
He does silly faces. You wonder if he's aware of how unfair it is that he gets to look like that. Tender. Charming.
He proves your theory to be right with only half another bottle.
Put two or more adults plus a certain amount of alcohol in a closed environment, and sex will be on the table.
It makes you blush when you think... it could literally be on the table.
Joel pretends he doesn't see you growing hotter. He keeps his eyes on you as you take off the robe instead of looking at your arms. Listens to what you're saying without losing focus.
Only when you're done and asking him something in response that he looks.
It makes your throat dry when he does.
Joel has an unabashed, almost cocky tilt to his mannerisms.
You thought he'd be quieter than he is—more serious.
It's a welcomed contrast.
When sex is laid on the table, it comes because he brought up the joke you made at the beginning of the night about his lack of interest in your life, and decided to ask you things. Where you grew up. If you were always like this.
"Define 'like this'."
"Smart with the calculating glance, and sweet-talking."
"Is that me?"
"Sure is, Sunshine."
None of the questions that people usually ask.
It makes you bite your lip more than you wished—his manly, tall presence gets under your skin in ways that no previous partner managed to. Tucking your hair behind your ear, avoiding leading the conversation to the exact places you liked, giggling—those weren't things you did.
He pulled them from you.
When he does ask you the 'usual' questions, it lacks the malicious curiosity inflating others whenever they did.
Sex is laid on the table because Joel looks you in the eyes with that easiness in his shoulders and asks, "I'm not as private as you, though—all of my neighbors already know Tommy, and Sarah. You, on the other hand... the mysterious crime and horror novelist, who talks to her plants and moved from so, so far. I might not be the prying type, but I was curious about you long before my gremlin set her little claws on you. How come I never see anyone coming in or out of here? You tellin' me not one friend of yours followed you here to god-forsaken Texas?"
Your glass is almost empty, and you focus on the twirling of the red inside it to avert your mind from the way he's sitting. "The point of moving was getting away from them. All of them, as bad as that sounds," you cover your eyes with your free hand, and Joel's hand touches your forearm.
"Hey—it's fine. Don't feel bad. 'm happy you had the privilege of gettin' away. If you wanted to move away from all of it, I'm sure you had your reasons."
Looking between your fingers, you try appraising his face. "Really?"
"Really," he nods.
"Okay." You sit up straight. "And I do have people over, sometimes. You're just always at work."
"Yeah? You made friends already?"
"A few, yeah."
"Where?" he removes his hand from your forearm but drops it to your chair's armrest. The proximity is doing something to you. "I thought you worked from home."
"I do," you agree. "But I do other stuff. I'm not always here with my plants, Joel," you roll your eyes, smiling amusedly.
Joel laughs, "I wouldn't know. If I could work from home and stay with my tools and wood, I would."
"And I believe you," you nodded.
He bites on his smile before asking. "What other stuff d'you do?"
"I joined a book club," you reply, feeling all levels of boring.
From his look, he disagrees. "You got the patience for that?"
"Sure do," you nod again.
He nods, pouting in awe. "Nice," he says. "Are your book club friends givin' you the right impression of Texans?"
"I'm warming up to them," you smile.
Nodding, he asks, "Should I ask now the questions all my neighbors already know the answer to? 'Cause I am curious. Did you know Mr. Adler tried tellin' me what he 'discovered' about you? He tried looking blasé when he said that, but I'm sure he just wanted to gossip about the pretty girl who moved across from him."
"Ew, Joel," you laugh.
His eyes never leave you—you feel it even when you're not looking at him. He's laughing too. "What? It's true."
When you look back up at him, you wonder—when did you two get this close?
"You can ask," you say. "It's not that exciting, the answer. Actually, it's not exciting at all."
"Hmm, I'll be the judge of that," he sips his wine, and leaves the glass on the table. "You already know my backstory, so kill my curiosity now," he pierces with his eyes for a moment, "how on Earth is there no ring on this finger?" he points to your ring finger, then he leans in closer, and you can smell the wine in his breath; you want to kiss it until it's taste is gone, "and how is it that I never see anyone leaving here early in the mornings?"
Well. "No ring 'cause I didn't want one so far," you reply. To him, you give more honesty than anyone else who's asked. "And I have the luxury of living without it. I know many friends of mine who don't—and actually, that was part of..." don't go there. "Nevermind," you shake your head, pinning yourself to here.
"You just didn't want it?" he echos.
You nod, "Never did," there's no reason to lie to him. He smells so good—why would you lie to him? "Most men bore men, Joel."
"Wow," the smile that widens is a little baffled. A little dirty. "Should I be scared?"
At that, you burst out laughing. "Really?" You have no clocks outside, but the starry sky and the deep silence in the houses next to you are a good enough indicator. "It's been... a couple of hours, at least. We're one bottle and a half," you say, looking at your glasses shining on the table, "deep into conversation... and you wonder if you should be scared?"
Joel's still looking at you when you look back. His arm is around your chair, and your back touches it when you lean back against it. "I'll take that as a no."
"You are very far from boring."
"'m happy you think so," he smiles. He lets his eyes drop to your lips, without a care for the two palms of distance that separate your faces. It's meant to be blatant. Obvious. "Just another question..."
Here it comes, you thought. Why no kids? Why so alone? Do you feel lonely?
"Why me?" he asks.
It's nothing more than a breath.
You could ignore it. Give any answer, and close the gap. Instead, you give him honesty. "Honestly? I was so attracted to you, the second I saw you, that I was willing to even hear somethin' stupid coming out of your mouth if I could just—," do it, do it, do it. Seeing his eyes darken from up close is torture. You can feel the pulse of your heartbeat between your legs. "Now, if I were any smart, I'd be wishing for you to be bad at all the rest, because..."
This was amazing already.
Joel laughs, just a single, breathy laugh, and then does something you would never see it coming.
He pushes his chair back with the weight of his hips and drops to his knees.
The gasp you let out is enough to put the most insufferable smile on his face.
"Don't say that," he feigns hurt, as if he wasn't smiling with his eyes and lips. "It might've been a while, but I don't think I lost my touch just yet."
Joel's hands envelop your knees and slowly pull them apart. You feel like an open wire—aware of every breath your body takes and each minimum reaction to him.
You feel the wet pulse inside your panties when he kisses the skin of your inner thigh, right above your knee.
Joel smiles up at you, blinking his eyes.
Damn him, you think. His hands caress their way up your skin, and you wished you were naked already.
He seems like someone to enjoy the torture—when his hands reach the curve of your ass, they stop there, holding onto your waist.
"Have I?" he asks, kissing the other inner leg. You feel a hint of his tongue in the short kiss.
What could you say to that?
"You really haven't."
Feeling the hot breathing of his laughter on your inner thighs was not in your list for tonight.
"Do I get a kiss, then?"
He would never have to ask you twice.
Your legs wrap around his torso when you lean down to meet him for the kiss. Joel seems to love the position—he smiles at first, gripping you by the neck.
He takes his time to look at you before he dives in. A mental check-in. Maybe just admiring, just as you were from the second he kneeled.
His kiss comes from experience. A lot of fucking experience.
If you were weak in the knees before, you seal the notion that you're out of your depth there and then.
Joel kisses like no one's ever kissed you before—like he wants to explore, discover, conquer.
He licks his way inside of you with the first kiss.
His tongue isn't shy; he makes you adjust to his rhythm, to let go and open up, and when you, you're rewarded with it—he pulls up just an inch, just to whisper, "that's it," and then dives back in.
Joel wraps his arm around your shoulder and neck in a possessive manner. It's why he makes it so easy for you let him guide it—he's holding you, and you moan as you melt into him.
He wants to feel your body.
The more you press yourself against him, the more Joel grants you little sighs of his own pleasure.
He never pushes his hips against you. Never presses you towards him.
It makes you want to scream.
When he pulls away, Joel sighs happily. He presses his right thumb over your swollen bottom lip, and nodding, kneels on his heels again.
"Joel..."
Your face remains close to his, gravitating to where he does. He whispers, "Lift your hips up for me, Sunshine," wrapped around a smile.
You do as he says.
His hand takes off your shorts without your eyes ever leaving you, and when the item is on the floor, Joel releases the robe you foregone earlier tonight from your backrest to slide down where you sit.
To not make a mess, it says.
Your face is burning up, but not as much as the rest of you.
"Is this ok?" he asks.
He waits for your nod of approval before pulling you by your knees. "Good," he's strong enough to get you where he wants in one pull. Your hips are nearing the end of the chair and from this angle, Joel gets to look.
He eyes the underwear as if it's personally offending him.
"I like the color," he says. He traces a finger across the baby blue lace and looks up at you. "Suits ya," he says. That's when he hooks a finger on the fabric, pulling it to the side. "I dreamt about this."
That gets to you.
Joel's fingers are thorough—able. He uses his knuckles to spread the lips apart, uncaring about the whines you let out above him, still holding on to the shame of being the only one exposed.
It lasts until he places two knuckles on each side of your clit, stimulating it with back-and-forth movements.
You were right about the torture.
He enjoys it.
Joel waits for your clit to be hard between his fingers before he puts his mouth to it.
You can only cling onto his hair.
I dreamt about this, too.
"Fuck—I dreamt about this too," you confess.
His moan vibrating against the core of your pussy makes you clench.
Joel's only starting.
He takes his time in finding the rhythm you most feel pleasure on your clit. He never bites, never nibbles, and doesn't go softly, like other men.
He eats.
Joel's mouth is stuck to you—the way he laps and slurps and sucks on your hardened nub only makes your volume go from whines and pleas of his name to moans in very little time.
That's when he dips his tongue inside. When he uses it as muscle and proves to you why the idea of oral is so good for men.
Because it's good.
Joel gives no indicator that he wants to stop at any time, and it turns you into something that blossoms.
At some point between him almost making you cum just by sucking on your clit and fucking his tongue in and out of you, your legs made their way to his shoulders, and his hands have secured themselves groping your ass.
He pulls back for air, once.
His fingers enter you instead, two at once.
"So wet already," he says. You only hear it, until, "look at me," he asks.
As if his thick, long fingers dripping into places inside of you weren't enough, you get to look at him.
His face glistening on your back porch is something that burns behind your eyelids the second you see it. You feel incoherent, needy, and exposed in more than one way.
Joel looks like he could eat you like this.
"Joel—please. Please," you're begging, but for what, you're not sure.
"Cum for me first. I'll give you whatever you want later, just," he pumps his fingers inside of you, keeping a steady and strong pace, and then says, "You look so good like this, Jesus fuckin' Christ."
Profanities.
That's what he says before getting his mouth back on you—his tongue sucking and vibrating against your clit.
It's too much. Too fucking much, and, "Joel, Joel—"
He pulls back just to say it, "That's it, doin' so good, Sunshine—" and that's when you lose it. The coaxing. It's so earnest. Sounds so pleased, dipping in honey as if it's him who's feeling this good.
"'m gonna cum Joel, fuck me, just like that—"
"Like this? Hm? Show me. Cum on my mouth."
All it takes is for him to put it back on you. Joel knows how to push himself inside—knows how to explore the hot and tight confines of your cunt, because he coos a first orgasm out of you with the right pace only.
No strength. No speed. Just sucking, and curling right against your spot.
Your vision whites out.
The time you take to come back to yourself, he keeps playing with your pussy and the mess he made in it, seeming as satisfied with the result as you are. Somewhere in white land.
What a little death.
After that, it's more a mess and clashes of teeth and desires than you knew you were even capable of.
He pulls you in for a kiss, and you pull him inside the house.
The idea is to make it to your room, but you never make it past the living room.
When you press him against a wall to finish taking off his clothes, seeing him only in briefs makes gravity pull you in.
Nothing but black briefs.
You have to drop to your knees.
Joel curses under his breath and tries his best at keeping his posture, but you're with a mind entirely clouded by raw need.
To him, you want to do only your best.
You're addicted to the way he mutters, "atta girl," every time you discover something that brings him pleasure. It sounds so fucking dirty.
"That's it. Atta fuckin' girl, god."
With him, you use tricks your friends once told you that are buried in the back of your mind. You hold the part of his cock your mouth can't cover and move it in sync with your lips. You make it wet, make sloppy, make it whatever he leads it to be.
Joel hisses and moans louder when you find the special places hidden—the sensitive skin between his balls that leads up, you lick it from start to finish and are rewarded with a full-body shudder.
He shows you what strong body means.
"Where's your room?" he pulls you by the arms, and you somehow end up jumping on him. Exactly what you wanted.
"I'm not makin' that far," you tell him with a grin.
He has his thumb on your lips again—he seems to like your mouth.
"Didn't think you'd want my bare ass on your couch."
"That is exactly where I want your bare ass right now," you tell him.
He's good at following requests, just as he is at giving them.
Joel sits with you already straddling his lap, and bless his gentleman's heart, he says, "I left my pants outside—wait," he curses under his breath with your hips circling his shaft. Letting it slide between your pussy lips. "Fuckin' hell."
"Fuckin' hell indeed," you sigh. "Wait here."
You run outside for it, only because you're not on the pill. Maybe you'll start taking it. Maybe you shouldn't think that far.
Joel's waiting for you alright—he has his hand at the base of his cock, sitting on your couch like a modern-day Adonis.
A sluttier Adonis. Sexier, too.
"Stop starin' and c'mere," he demands;
And who are you to say no to that?
Joel does you the favor of putting it on as you make yourself comfortable on his lap again, taking all of your out of the way. He looks like he wants to eat you alive piece by piece, and you love it.
"Lemme know if you want me to take over," he tells you.
"Yes, sir," you whisper in a taunting manner.
Joel rests his forehead against yours when you line himself up with you, and it's a reward of your stupid, gigantic-ass window letting in the light from outside that allows you to see the pleasure on his face as you sink around him, burying him to the hilt.
His digits press so hard on your sides they'll brise.
You'll be bruised tomorrow morning.
Fingerprints on your hips, beard burns on your inner legs, palm shapes across your ass.
When you start moving, none of you say a word about how it feels.
It's criminal.
Only curses and your names are allowed in the thin space separating your wet bodies.
The thin layer of sweat makes you two glide on each other, and the drag of him inside of you is almost too good for words.
You're scared of the ones that'd make their way out, anyway.
So you let out what you can. You call for him, and he calls back. Joel slaps your ass, both sides of it, and urges you on to take him as you want it.
"Fuckin' christ, I'm never gonna—fuck—never gonna sleep again."
There it is. Being pussy-drunk makes him loose-lipped.
Your own are aching with how hard you bite on them.
Joel lets the reigns remain on your hands as you stay on top. He lets you ride him painfully slow, and faster, just because it feels good. He lets you climb all the way up only to slam back down, praising you through the fog in your brain.
"Does it feel good, Sunshine? Mm? My cock feels that good for you?"
You're sure it'll all come back to haunt you once your brain can be coherent.
He takes charge when you start begging him, and for what, you're unsure of. It's a mixture of please and his name, which Joel takes as his permission slip.
He flips you onto your back, hooks one of your legs on the middle of his back, and fucks you both into another orgasm.
It should be concerning the way he does it—like he's familiar with your body and your cues. He just follows your pace and moans until you're clawing at his back, and when his name comes out over and over again, he coaxes it again. Coos at you, holding your face in one hand. "You're gonna cum for me, aren't ya? Do it. I'll cum for you when I feel you shakin' around my cock, Sunshine. Cum for me."
It comes so hard you almost faint; blackout.
Joel takes care of you afterward.
Of course he does.
Even with the weakest legs and the minimum sense of reality around you, he manages. Joel leads you upstairs, tells you he's collected your clothes, and even lays down when you ask him.
"Just for a while," you ask.
He lays in front of you in bed, and pulls your arms around him. "I'm puttin' an alarm."
Little spoon. "You gotta be back here in the morning anyway."
"I know," he kisses your wrist. "Can't wait."
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ellemj · 5 months
Text
Needs & Wants - Sex Pollen Trope Pt. 10 (FINAL PART)
Bucky Barnes x Reader
*Read parts 1-9 first for the full effect!*
Summary: Everything is out in the open between you and Bucky now, but there are two rules for your new secret relationship.
Warnings: unprotected sex, teasing, possessive!Bucky (hehehe), maybe fluff (?), profanity, use of y/n, MINORS DNI, 18+!!!
Feel free to comment and let me know if this requires any other warnings.
Word Count: 2.2k
Author's Note: We've finally reached the end. I think I'll miss this version of Bucky and reader but I'm pretty excited about the work that I'm planning on putting out here next. Hopefully everyone's okay with the conclusion of this, I didn't want to have anyone riding off into the sunset or anything, but I also didn't want to have a horribly sad ending, so this felt right. You guys should totally let me know in the comments what kind of things you'd like to see from me soon! I don't know if I'll take specific requests anytime soon, but I'd love to at least find out what might get you all excited. Thanks for the umpteenth time to @littlemiss-yeehaw for being the best cheerleader and warnings-writer out there. She also draws some unbelievable shots of Bucky based on scenes in these fics.
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In the shower, on the hotel bed, in the chair by the window, hell, even on the floor when the two of you rolled off of the bed in the heat of the moment. You’d successfully christened every surface of your hotel room before the clock ever struck midnight. You hadn’t meant to go at it like horny teenagers who found themselves home alone for the first time, but that’s what happened. It’s like you were both thinking about how this may not continue once you get back to the compound tomorrow morning, so you fit as much as you could all in one night.
            Now, you’re laying side by side in bed. Your most recent tryst involved you on your hands and knees with Bucky doing all of the right things behind you, and it thoroughly winded you both. You listen as your collective breaths fill the air, the two of you each coming down from your post-orgasmic highs.
            “Do you think Dr. Raynor will figure this out?” You ask softly, raising a hand and wiping a bit of sweat from your brow. Bucky laughs and turns his head to look at you. He still can’t get past how pretty you look after doing such dirty, animalistic things with him. Even without the super soldier serum decreasing his refractory period to mere minutes, he thinks he’d be recovered and ready for round five just from looking at you like this.
            “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”
            “It’s on my mind, yeah.” You admit. You’re probably more worried about it than you should be, but deep down, Bucky’s worried too.
            “So, how do you want to handle it?” Bucky asks, fully rolling onto his side to face you.
            “Maybe we just wait and see what she has to say after observing tonight’s mission and then go from there. I don’t want to say anything first and give her anything to use against us.” He’s listening to your words, honestly, he is. He doesn’t think he could ever miss a word you say. But he can’t stop himself from reaching over and running his fingertips along your flushed cheek. You turn to look at him and he lets his fingers ghost over your lips and down the column of your throat until he reaches the notch between your collarbones. His eyes linger there for a moment. Something’s missing.
            “You never gave me my dog tags back.” He whispers. You’re not wearing them, and neither is he. So, where are they?
            “Yeah, I wasn’t sure when to give them back.”
            “Bullshit, you wanted to keep them.” Bucky teases. You push his hand away from your neck at the accusation, but can’t stop the smile that’s creeping over your features. Fuck, he’s so into you. He closes the distance between the two of you and places his body carefully over yours under the covers, leaning down and pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. Even just kissing you sets off fireworks inside of him.
            “They’re sitting on my nightstand, back in the compound.” You tell him, hoping it doesn’t make you sound too obsessed. You had planned to give them back all week, but avoiding him made that a little difficult, so instead you left them sitting beside your bed. It was sort of comforting to see his name every night before you fell asleep, and every morning when you woke up.
            “Keep them.” He insists, pressing another kiss to your soft, soft lips. You get lost in the moment, focusing on the feeling of his tongue working against yours, his scent enveloping you in the most consuming way, and his weight keeping you pinned to the mattress. You could stay like this forever.
            This, of course, is when Bucky’s phone would ring. He groans in annoyance as he breaks the kiss and touches his forehead to yours, looking down into your eyes.
            “Tell me not to answer it.” He pleads. You purse your lips, knowing it’s probably someone from the team calling with some kind of update or new order. Bucky groans again before rolling off of you and snatching his phone off of the bedside table. He answers it and puts it on speaker, confirming that it’s someone from the team.
            “Hey, sorry to call so late. The threat has been neutralized so you guys can head back now and get some sleep, we’ll debrief in the morning.” Sam sounds tired but calm, so it must have been more of a nuisance situation than a major threat. Bucky closes his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose with his vibranium hand.
            “Sounds good, we’ll be back soon.” He grumbles. You can tell he’s annoyed that you won’t be staying the night here. When he hangs up the call, he lets out a deep sigh before sitting up on the side of the bed, with the covers gathering around his waist. Without thinking, you crawl up behind him and wrap your arms around his torso, hugging him from behind. He stiffens as if he didn’t expect your touch, but that just makes you lean into him more, resting your chin on his shoulder. You feel him slowly relax and having that effect on him warms you to the center of your being
            “We’re going to go home, get some rest, and debrief in the morning like this was any other mission.” You say, attempting to be reassuring.
            “That’s what you want? To pretend like this was any other mission?” He questions, running his hands over where your arms are wrapped around his abs.
            “I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant we don’t have to run in and tell everyone that something might be going on between us.”
            “Might?” He chuckles. You feel his abs shake beneath your hands as the melodious sound leaves his lips. You never heard him laugh much before, and you didn’t expect to like it as much as you do.
            “Hey, I told you that I fell for you, and you said fuck, I’m cumming. How am I supposed to know you feel the same way?” You tease, letting go of him and laying back on the bed, drawing the covers up over your naked body. He turns a bit to face you and starts pulling the covers away from you slowly.
            “Y/n…” He says your name with so much genuine feeling that it sends tingles throughout your body. Has he always said your name like that and you just never noticed before? Yes. “I made you wear my dog tags while I fucked you.” What the hell does that have to do with what you just said? He can see the confusion on your face and it brings a smile to his. He slides back under the covers next to you and begins peppering kisses across your shoulder and collarbone.
            “Bucky…” Fuck, if you start saying his name again there’s no way either of you will make it back to the compound tonight. He quickly makes his way up to your face, attaching his lips to yours for a moment and then tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth as he pulls away. It’s the nicest way anyone has ever shut you up.
            “I wanted to be able to pretend like you were mine. I fell way before you did.” He whispers against your lips. Holy shit. He feels the same way. Bucky Barnes feels the same way about you as you feel about him.
            You know that you have orders to head back to the compound, and neither of you are the type to disobey orders from above, but how are you supposed to pack up and head out after finding out that you have feelings for each other? You can’t stand the thought of traveling back to the compound tonight knowing that you’ll have to put on a show and pretend like nothing happened here. So, why not delay a bit and take what you want one more time?
            That very rational thinking is what inspires you to slide your hand between the two of you and wrap your fist around Bucky’s already-hardening cock. He sucks in a breath at the feeling of your small, soft hand wrapping tightly around him, and he wonders how he went so long without having you this way. You’ve been right across the hall from him all of this time. You’ve been going on missions with him for the last two months, giving each other shit nearly every waking moment, and completely missing what had been there the whole time. Love. He won’t say it out loud yet, he doesn’t want to scare you off, but that’s what it is. He’s sure of it. He loves you. He may not say it but he can damn well express it.
            That’s how Bucky finds himself, for the fifth time tonight, guiding the tip of his cock inside of your perfect cunt. He’s done this enough times now that he knows as soon as he bottoms out inside of you, you’ll tense up and scrunch your eyes closed, trying your hardest to adjust to his size. He watches as you do just that, and then he feels your entire body relax beneath him and he knows you’re ready. He pulls one of your legs up and over his hip as he begins fucking you into the mattress. When your eyes flutter open to meet his, he has to go completely still inside you so he won’t cum right then and there. You laugh to yourself. You know what eye contact does to him and you love it.
            “What’s the matter, James? Keep going.” You taunt, wiggling your hips and forcing his cock to slide into you another inch. He’s only halfway inside of you. He breathes out a slow, calming breath before leaning down and nuzzling his face into your neck, letting his cock sink into you slower than it ever has before.
            “You like rushing me, don’t you?” He asks, giving your cunt gentle thrusts. A soft hum leaves your lips at the pleasure that’s beginning to build in your lower stomach. You’re so focused on the feeling that you don’t even acknowledge his question. “Don’t rush me tonight.” He buries himself to the hilt before stilling once more, drawing a whine from your lips. “We’re making love, not fucking, sweetheart.”
---
            A few hours later that same morning, a very uneventful debrief took place in the conference room at the compound. You and Bucky turned in your mission reports, leaving out the details of what happened in the hotel room, and then you were dismissed to have a few hours of freedom before having to meet with Dr. Raynor.
            Everyone probably assumed that the two of you went off to your respective rooms upstairs, but it took little convincing to get Bucky to sneak over into yours. When he stepped inside and shut the door behind him, the first thing he noticed was his dog tags, right where you said they were.
You kick your shoes off by the door and walk over to sit on one of the small gray chairs that you have off to the side of the room, feeling surprisingly nervous that Bucky Barnes is seeing your room for the first time. Nervous. After everything the two of you have done this week? You’re ridiculous. You watch him as he crosses the room and scoops the dog tags off of your nightstand. He stares at them in his palm for a moment, and for a second you worry that he might pocket them. However, when he turns to you with a soft smile and a mischievous glint in his eye, your fears are assuaged.
“Do you have any rules? For this thing that we’ve got going on?” Bucky asks, taking the free chair across from you and setting the dog tags flat on the coffee table that separates the two of you. You tilt your head to the side, studying him closely. You see what he’s doing. The first night, while under the influence of that chemical, you gave him one rule: no kissing. He returned with his own rule: wear his dog tags while he fucks you.
“I have one. We keep this a secret, just between us, for as long as we can.” You respond, letting your eyes trail over his physique. He’s sitting in your chair the same way he sat in the chair in the hotel room last night. The man knows how to demand attention without saying a damn word. You watch as his licks his bottom lip and then leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands together in front of him.
“Fine. It’s a secret.” He agrees, his gaze briefly lingering on your neck. “But I have one rule too.” He reaches out with his flesh hand and begins sliding the dog tags across the table toward you. “You’ll never take these off again.”
BONUS CHAPTER
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buckyalpine · 5 months
Text
I'm in a angsty, fluffy, sensitive babie mood. You know that silly prank people do where they text/talk to their partner all serious about having to confess something serious just to tell them "I'm Batman". So imagine Bucky does that but he has no idea how badly it would trigger you.
"Y/n" Bucky entered your shared bedroom quietly, letting his heavy duffle bag hit the ground with a thud. "There's-there's something I have to tell you"
"What is it, is everything okay baby" You set down the book you were reading, growing worried seeing his fallen expression. He sighs, slowly approaching the bed and taking a seat by the edge next to you. You move to see if he's injured anywhere but he stops you, resting his hand on your leg.
"I'm fine. It's just-something I've been meaning to tell you. Probably something I should've told you a long time ago" He bites his lip contemplating his next words, itching to burst into a fit of giggles. "I have to tell you the truth"
"Tell me the truth?" Your stomach drops and your throat starts to tighten. "You can tell me Bucky, anything" You struggle to keep your voice steady, holding your breath, waiting for his next words.
"It's just-I can't believe I kept this from you and it isn't fair to you at all, you know?" He runs his hand through is locks while keeping his blue eyes cast down. "It's been going on for about a year now..."
If you weren't already sitting down, you would've passed out. All the pervious anxieties you'd had in past relationships, all the deep insecurities and worries you had came pouring out at once, your deepest fears coming true.
Of course Bucky was seeing someone else.
Of course you weren't good enough.
Of course he cheated on you just like the last guy, why did you think you deserved someone to love you, obviously-
"I'm bat man!-baby? baby, what's wrong" Bucky went from giggling like a madman to feeling pure dread within a matter of seconds seeing your tear streaked face. His nervous act was no longer just an act, anxiety filling his chest seeing you so distraught. "Oh God, baby don't cry, I was joking, c'mere"
"W-what?" You sniffled, trying to swallow down a hiccup while Bucky scrambled to scoop you in his arms, wiping away your tears.
"I was just kidding around with you doll, I said I was bat man, I didn't mean to upset you babygirl" Bucky cooed, pressing a kiss to the top of your head while you slowly got your breathing under control again. Bucky truly thought you would've whacked him with a pillow or playfully shoved him off the bed, never in a million years did he think you'd take actually any of this seriously. You whimpered in his arms as he squeezed you tighter, continuing to give you soft, sweet kisses.
"Baby-do you-do you really think I'd ever cheat on you?" He spoke softly, keeping you cradled in a ball, close to his body. A part of him felt hurt that you felt that way, that he'd ever given you room to think he would do such a thing. He thought he was going to cry, the very thought of being with anyone else made his heart hurt.
"I thought you were seeing someone else" you whispered, old pains of coming in second resurfacing. "Maybe you found someone better-
"Never" Bucky moved to cup your cheeks firmly in his hands, making you look at him, "I would never. I love you so much angel, so much it fucking hurts. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I wouldn't even dream of someone else. I couldn't, I-fuck, you're everything to me" His own voice nearly cracked with emotion, resting his forehead against yours. "I love you. I love you like I've loved no one else, you have my heart sweet girl"
"Promise?" You toyed with his dogtags while he pressed his lips firms to yours, sealing every bit of his feelings with that kiss.
"I promise baby" He pulled you down to lay with your head resting on his chest, his hand gently playing with your hair, "So back to what I was confessing - Ow"
...
"I deserved that"
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kenjakusbraincum · 5 months
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Feathers
Sukuna x Reader
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Synopsis: Master Sukuna establishes a safe word with his favorite pet, to prevent hurting them again!
Word count: 0.8k
Tags/warnings: gn! reader, fluff, mentions of violence, hurt/comfort, mentions and implied nsfw
Author’s note: Another in a compilation of drabbles with pet reader and Master Sukuna <3 This is basically a bunch of scenes I want to eventually incorporate into my bigger fic/series Reverence!
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There was a time when soft moments with Sukuna scared you as much as they excited you. You were so used to rough handling and bruises that as little as gentle touch would come as a surprise. It was a completely new territory with no clearly set rules. So many times you'd hold your breath or avoid moving in fear of angering him. But Sukuna warmed up to you. Little by little he would silently expand the things he'd allow you to do without consequences. It started with you being forbidden from touching him at all. Then he'd let you feel him up during your nightly encounters, snuggle up to him afterwards, sleep in his bed... All the while mumbling vague threats and giving you scary looks. "Careful with your hands.", he'd say when you'd run them from his chest to his stomach, feeling his muscles and stumbling upon his belly mouth. You pulled your hand back and opened your mouth to apologize. But he just gave you a look you couldn't read and put your hand back to his belly.
With time you've come to understand that there were some things Sukuna would never say out loud. "Keep caressing me", was one of them. "Sorry", was another. And a big one.
Sukuna was violent, it was simply in his nature. He's pushed your bounds before, he enjoyed it, but he wanted to see how far he can take things too. Naturally, slip ups happened. Hell, the first time you remember him ever being nice to you was one night when he roughed you up particularly bad. He would always leave to get dressed or refreshed, and expect you to be gone by the time he's back. But this time, you were still there, with your head in the pillow, muffling sobs.
Your heart nearly stopped when you felt the mattress dip with his weight by your side, thinking finally you have met your end. You didn't expect him to gently brush sweaty strands of hair out of your face, and look at you with brows furrowed in confusion.
"Why are you crying?", he asked, and you thought that he was mocking you. He's never shown you kindness, beyond providing you with bare necessities in life. So why would he be concerned with you now?
"H-hurts...", you say quietly, and try your best to stop sobbing. You spend so much time keeping Sukuna company at his throne. You know how quickly (and brutally) he deals with people who annoy him. You were so sure you were going to share their fate. Any second now, you thought as you squeezed your eyes shut.
"Where?", he asked. When you opened your eyes, he looked as docile as you'd ever seen him. And then his hand was in your face, and the back of his finger brushed your tears away. You blinked at him a couple times just to make sure you were processing the situation right. Then you shuffled around to touch the places that ached on your body.
And on his side, Sukuna was quite shocked to see how untrusting you were of him. For once he thought that he striked too much fear into you. Or maybe he was just under the impression, because his most obedient pet was crying. Either way, his hand followed yours, light against your sensitive skin. Careful not to cause any more pain for the night. You were stiff under his fingertips at first, still anticipating violence, but slowly relaxed as you felt the pain subside.
"There.", he says, instead of "Sorry". But he felt sorry.
The next time he brings you to his chambers, he stops you in front of the bed. "Pick a word. Any word.". You stop and think, not knowing where he's going with this.
"Feathers.", you say. Angels. His hands on your waist urge you to turn around, facing your back to him. He brushes your hair over your shoulder and kisses you, from the back of your ear trailing down. Your hand meets his and you think you'll melt into him. You've never experienced such tenderness, and to know it's coming from him...
"Only use it when you can't take it anymore. I'll stop.", he whispers against your skin. And just as you thought of how suspiciously nice he was starting to sound..."I wouldn't want to break my favorite toy".
Then he nudges you onto the bed and joins you. You don't have enough time to process the words, before he's on top of you and your focus is shifted back to him. And you don't think you've ever been so relaxed laying in bed with a monster. Later that night, when you were alone in your room, you felt butterflies at the thought of being his favorite. Even if you were nothing but a toy. Even if tomorrow when you stumble upon him in the hallway, or when he calls for you to make him company in his throne room, he'll be as distant and cold as the moon.
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roosterforme · 13 days
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Too Much to Lose | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Leaving for deployments had always been rough, but then Bradley met you, and the time apart and risk involved made the ache even stronger. But nothing felt quite as isolating and scary as acknowledging that he had to leave his pregnant wife with an uncertain future. Now more than ever, he had too much to lose.
Warnings: Angst, panic attack, mentions of smut, pregnancy topics
Length: 2300 words
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
This was written to accompany my series Is It Working For You? along with a bunch of my one-shots and other series, but it can be read on its own! Check my masterlist for the reading order.
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Bradley hated that he felt like he was going through the motions. You'd been clinging to him all day long, your eyes always on the verge of tears. His bags were packed, his flight would leave tomorrow morning, and there was nothing left for him to do at this point except wait. Wait for your tears to spill over. Wait for one last look at you for who knows how long. Wait for the official start of another deployment.
Getting hard for you was not the problem. Your lips were on his body, and his name was the only word you seemed capable of saying. Nothing ever felt as good as your touch, and you always smelled sweet. Best of all, you were carrying his baby. But the doubt still crept in, even as his body rocked against yours, even as he filled you up. Because for Bradley, this felt exactly like those months when you and he had been desperately trying to get pregnant. It felt like the two of you were focusing on an uncertain outcome instead of each other. 
"I love you, Roo." 
You had just uttered the most perfect words in your state of bliss, but he couldn't fully accept them. Why did you love him? How the fuck could you? Your hands came up to caress his face, and he was completely helpless to do a god damn fucking thing besides come for you.
"Oh god," he grunted, practically crying as you kissed his scars before gradually going limp beneath him. You were smiling as you rolled onto your side, but instead of joining you for one last cuddle, he made his excuses to retreat to the bathroom. 
Bradley splashed some cool water on his face and examined himself in the mirror. All he saw was someone who didn't know what he was doing. Someone who wasn't good enough for you. He hadn't felt this way a few days ago, rather he'd been absorbed with shopping for the baby. But the fear started to creep in around the edges today, and now it felt like it could strangle him if he let it.
Leaving home in this state could only spell disaster, but he couldn't shake it. At least when he finally managed to walk back into the bedroom, you were asleep on his pillow with one leg under the blanket and one on top. You could always make him smile, but this time when he did, he thought about what would happen next if he didn't come back. What would happen if he was no longer here to claim that pillow as his own. 
He checked his will a few days ago, and the thing was ironclad. It all went to you. Every last penny and possession. But that wasn't what had him rattled. Everything was ten times more exciting and also ten times scarier with the baby on the way. He had too much to lose. 
He kissed your forehead and then your belly, and he pulled the blanket over both of your legs, and then he went out to the living room with Tramp at his heels. The house still smelled delicious; you'd made him Marry Me Rooster and lemon cupcakes for dinner. You always pulled out the stops when he was leaving, and he loved you for it. But what the fuck were you getting in return?
He grabbed his phone from where he'd left it on the kitchen counter. You and he had been sharing a plate of dinner while he started to consider what your life would be like without him. You'd have the baby here with you, but you'd really be alone. It was too hard to breathe while he thought about it, so he unlocked his phone and dialed the only person who wouldn't think he'd gone completely off the deep end with his request.
"Bradshaw. Shouldn't you be enjoying your wife before you fly off into the sunset?"
"Hangman," he rasped, walking to the couch and collapsing down onto it. "I need to talk to you."
There was a brief pause before Jake said, "I'm all ears."
Bradley cleared his throat, feeling like an absolute idiot as he said, "I bought a jungle gym playset for my backyard. A really big one. For the baby."
Jake hummed and said, "Right." And somehow that was enough to make Bradley keep going. 
"It's on pallets. On my driveway. There's an instruction book on top of my refrigerator. Everything should be here."
"Okay," Jake said quietly. 
Bradley swallowed and swallowed, his throat burning as he managed to force out the rest of the words. "If anything happens to me, I need you to... build it."
The only thing he could hear was Jake's soft breathing before he muttered, "Shit." 
Bradley ran his palm back and forth over his face as tears streaked down his cheeks. "Hangman. I need you to promise. I need that fucking thing in the yard."
"Yeah," Jake grunted. "Yeah, I promise."
Bradley sucked in a deep breath before he added, "And I need you to promise to take care of her. Take care of them. Make sure she knows you're around if they need something. Make sure she knows she can go to you and Cat for help."
There was no way to tell if the barely controlled sobs were his own or Jake's as he held the phone tighter to his ear, waiting for an answer. "Yeah, Rooster. I'll take care of Angel. I promise."
Bradley managed to choke out two words before ending the call. "Thank you." His phone fell from his hand onto the floor, and he curled up on his side. He thought about his dad. Goose died during a training exercise. If the most basic parts of Bradley's job could become deadly, he was honestly tempting fate at this point. Was this still the right thing to do? With a baby on the way? He wasn't so sure anymore.
Both of his parents were gone before he was an adult. If he made it just a few more years, he would live to be older than either of them had. This wasn't the first time he'd thought about that number, but right now, he was having a hard time catching his breath. 
Forty. Carole died when she was forty years old.
Thirty-seven. Bradley was just three years away.
"Fuck," he gasped as he rolled onto his back, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. He was nauseous and dizzy, and his chest was aching like there was something pressing down on him. Something heavy. He shouldn't leave you alone now, because he might never come back. He might never get to meet the Nugget who he was already so in love with. The baby might never have a dad at all, but at least Bradley got to have one of those for a short time. He could remember little bits of how it felt when Nick Bradshaw picked him up, and the soft laughter in his voice when he read a bedtime story. But the Nugget deserved more than that. This baby deserved everything, including a dad who was already so devoted that it hurt. A perfect mom and a loving dad, just like Bradley had once upon a time.
He could feel Tramp licking his elbow and whimpering, but he couldn't open his eyes. He couldn't move at all. He needed to catch his breath. He started counting in his head but couldn't keep track of how far he'd gotten. He wanted to meet his kid. He needed to.
"Bradley?"
Your voice was the most perfect sound in the world, and when you spoke his name, he had a visceral reaction to it. Then your hand was on his cheek, and the heavy feeling lifted away a little bit. 
"Oh, Bradley."
You replaced your hand with your lips, and he could feel how warm you were as your body came to rest on his. Your voice and touch invaded him in place of that terrifying weight on his chest. He felt safer because it was you. And the baby, too. When he opened his eyes, you looked concerned, and he hated to be the cause of that.
His voice didn't sound like his own, but you looked relieved as he said, "Sweetheart."
All he could focus on was the steady stroking of your fingers through his hair and your lips on his. "Tell me what's wrong, Roo," you whispered between soft kisses. "Talk to me."
He wasn't sure how long it took or how you managed to do it, but he ended up sitting on the couch with you curled up in his lap, ready to talk. Your cheek was resting against his heart, and his hand was under his old gym shirt that you were wearing, pressed to your belly. He wanted to tell you everything he was thinking. He wanted you to understand. But all he could say was, "I'm scared."
You nodded and hummed softly. "Me too."
When he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in tighter, he asked, "Then why do I keep doing this? The last thing I'd ever want to do is scare you."
Your fingers found their way back up into his hair. "It's scarier this time, because of the baby," you whispered. "But you're an amazing pilot, and you love flying, and that's important, too."
"Not as important as you," he swore immediately. "Never as important as the Nugget. I just don't know if the risk is worth it anymore." He swallowed hard but let the tears slide down his cheeks again. "What if I burn in or get shot down before the baby is even born? Then what? Because I had no fucking clue until pretty recently how badly I want to be a dad."
"Come here," you whispered, your arms winding around his neck as you straddled his hips. You didn't seem alarmed by this conversation as you ran the tip of your nose back and forth along his cheek, letting him get used to feeling calm again. "It's all risky, Roo. All of it. We've talked about it before, and the facts are never going to change. But being married to you is worth it. Having to figure out how to potentially live without you is a risk I'm willing to take for the chance to be with you now."
"Fuck," he whispered, melting into your touch. 
"You're worth everything," you told him sincerely. "Getting to hold you right now is worth every bad feeling that might come later."
All he could do was nod, because he felt exactly the same way about you. But there was another layer. Another wrinkle. It was with a steadier voice that he managed to say, "I don't want to end up like my parents. Or worse... I don't want to miss the chance to meet the baby altogether."
You leaned away from him a little bit, running your knuckles gently along his cheek. "You promised me you would always fight for the chance to come home again."
"Always. Please, don't ever doubt that I will fight until my last breath, Baby Girl."
Now you had tears in your eyes. "I never knew I could feel this loved. And you've already given the Nugget so much of yourself through your notebooks and your little private conversations with my belly where you pretend I can't hear you." Bradley laughed as you touched his face and neck. You kissed his forehead and whispered, "He or she is going to be just like you. I can tell already. And you'll fight your way back home to find out for sure."
"I will," he promised, throat tight with love instead of fear this time. "God, I fucking adore you."
As he ran his thumb around the diamond in your engagement ring which once belonged to his mother, you said, "I know it."
Twenty minutes later, once Bradley felt almost completely calm again, you stood and disappeared into the kitchen. He missed your warmth immediately. It was late now, and he knew you both needed to get a good night of sleep, but you insisted you knew what else would make him feel better. Just when he was about to say that the only thing he wanted to do was hold you in bed, you returned with a plate and a steaming mug. 
You settled onto his lap again, so certain that was where you belonged and where he always wanted you. He took a sip of the tea while you nibbled on the lemon cupcake, then you held it up to his lips for him to take a bite. He ate half of it in one go, making you smile. 
When you took another nibble, he whispered, "I'll be home in no time. Back with my perfect wife. My family."
You gently shoved the rest of the cupcake into his mouth as you smiled and said, "We'll be here waiting for you."
You started kissing his scars as he chewed and muttered, "Let's go to bed, Sweetheart."
He was still thinking about his brief conversation with Jake as you stretched out on your back and let him run one big hand along your belly and down to your tattoo. Bradley touched you everywhere, memorizing the softness and flawless warmth of your body with the Nugget. He would come back home to this because he had to. He would be here to construct the jungle gym himself. There was simply no other choice. 
"I love you both."
---------------------------
That phone call between Bradley and Jake made me cry. Bradley has been dreaming of that jungle gym playset in the backyard for so long, he needs the guarantee that it will happen for his Nugget even if he's not there to see it through to the end. BG always knows what to do when he's struggling, but she's not going to be there to take care of him while he's deployed. In the next one-shot, we'll see how Bradley and Payback are holding up while away. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who reads and interacts and makes this pairing so fun to write!
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oncloudten · 1 year
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if he's a serial killer, then what's the worst that could happen to a girl who's already hurt?
ethan landry x fem!reader. scream 6 spoilers. cw: choking, mentions of sex, murder, slight dirty talk.
read part ii. here
"get the fuck off me, you sick fuck!" you managed to get out, barely breathing.
he had you completely fooled. the boy with the puppy dog eyes and the sweetest smile. every horror film has a sweet little dorky cliche virgin, and he chose to embody that role perfectly. ethan landry.
though, the virgin part wouldn't be true. and you have yourself to thank for that.
who would have thought? well, maybe mindy. oh god. she'll kill you for this– if they don't first. if he doesn't.
all those nights you spent with ethan, all those days. everytime you'd tell tara and mindy about him and your massive crush on him, and then eventually the friends-with-benefits thing you had going on, she'd try to offer you her enthusiasm and be the supportive best-friend that she usually is to you, but it would always be followed by heartfelt speeches of her telling you to "be careful" and that she doesn't trust him. she never did like him from the start.
but you weren't worried about mindy right now, you couldn't. not when ethan had such a tight grip around your neck, and your friends were somewhere in this building being chased by his family.
"hmm? i thought you liked it when i did this, princess." ethan smirks, trailing his knife on your cheeks.
asshole. of course he'd say that. because why wouldn't he? he knew everything about you. you had given yourself to him completely– in every way. something so private being used against you– someone so... wicked knowing such intimate and delicate things about you, that no one else does. you can't process anything. "t-that means nothing."
he let go of your neck, but only slightly to stop choking you. he's towering over you, pushing you up against a wall. "didn't seem like that a few nights ago when you were begging for it, you dirty fucking slut."
"fuck you."
"oh, i'd love to. but i got my hands bloody full right now. oh and, been there, done that." he says, proudly. there is something so sinister about his smile. his killer smile. "come on, you sweet dumb thing. lighten up a bit, won't you? you look like you've seen a ghost."
"if you're going to kill me, just fucking do it. why the fuck bring me here? kill me and get it over with." there's no telling what he's going to do. he has you completely isolated from sam and tara. and chad is gone— you found ethan when you were forcibly seperated when ghostface showed up, and it immediately clicked.
"oh no no no no no, you sweet pretty thing. i love sticking things in you, but i would never stick a knife in you. never hurt you. well, i mean, kill you. it's your friends that we're after." he pauses for a bit. "well that wouldn't be right to say either. it is sam and tara that we want," he inches closer to you, "but it just feels so fucking good to kill. so fucking good baby."
"you're sick."
"and you love me. isn't that what you were telling mindy and quinn a few weeks ago? hmm?"
fuck. what are the fucking chances of that wicked witch being his literal fucking sister? "that was before i found out you are the one who is actively trying to kill my best fucking friends, you dimwitted fucking asshole!"
he lets out a low chuckle. "if it makes you feel any better. you're the closest thing i'll ever get to love in this world. i do love you. well, god, did i love fucking you. y'gave me the best sex of my life. but it was more than that."
"stop. just stop. let me go." you beg, "let me go please, ethan. i'll just go- just my friends, my- chad, please."
"i can't do that, angel. my job is to keep you away from them. protect you, even. see, my lovely sister thought it'd be funny to kill you. claims you're just baggage. that it would hurt sam and tara the most because you're practically the closest thing they have to family. but i can't let that happen. so this is the next best thing."
and then all you see is black.
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fandoms-writings · 18 days
Text
Little Shadow
Pairing: Halsin x Half-Elf!Reader (fem intended)
Word Count: 6.9K (oops)
Summary: You can always count on Halsin to heal the group when needed, going out of his way to make sure you're in the best care. And he's always been a flirt, but that's all it is, right?
Warnings: SMUT 18+ ONLY, mentions of injuries, blood, bruises (they're adventurers they're gonna get hurt sometimes), p in v, fingering, oral (fem receiving), mentions of Halsin having the potential to shift during sexual acts (iykyk)
A/N: thank you so so much to @banana-cheese-cake for beta reading for me and letting me talk about this so much ❤️ Also Happy Easter to those who celebrate ❤️
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Halsin had always been impressed with the way you fought, the way you trained. You were so meticulous in the tiny details, the things no one else in your little band of misfits would notice. But it was those details that kept you alive, kept you the least harmed of your entire camp. Most of the time. 
The way you danced with your blade was unlike anything he'd ever seen before - and he'd been around for a couple centuries, so he'd seen his fair share of sword wielders and dagger throwers and magic casters. But you - you moved with such fluidity and lethal steadiness in your swings. 
The strength he'd seen in you while traveling with you these past weeks was something he marveled at. Especially with how young you were. 
You'd never told him directly, but from what he could gather, you were a half elf, which meant you had at least another century before you started to appear "aged" as the humans called it. That also meant that you had unbounded potential to grow in your skills. Though, he wasn't sure how much more you could learn. 
There was a rustle in the woods next to the camp, pulling him from his thoughts of you as he looked up. You'd gone out this morning with Karlach, Astarion, and Shadowheart to scout and clear the roads to move your camp closer to the city, so he figured you were finally returning. But you were making so much noise. You were usually quiet on your return to not startle those who stayed behind or attract any unwanted attention. 
As you barreled through the brush, Shadowheart limply hanging between you and Astarion and Karlach protecting your backs, Halsin's heart plummeted. 
You were covered in blood and your knees were shaking as the two of you dragged Shadowheart through the camp. Halsin ran for you, coming to a stop in front of you and taking the girl from your and Astarion's arms. 
He took Shadowheart to her tent, laying her down and beginning to heal what wounds he could see. You'd followed him, though he could sense the exhaustion pulling your body down as your feet stumbled after him. He watched as you began removing her armor, tugging the pieces off of her with shaky hands. 
He'd never seen your hands shake. He'd never seen you so calmly distraught. 
"What happened?" He asked, moving to a wound in the girl's abdomen. A gnarly gouge, likely from a hook horror or a gnoll. Shadowheart's body shifted as you tugged her boots off, throwing them in the pile of armor in the corner. 
"Gnolls," Your response was clipped, as usual, eyes locked onto the several cuts and gashes along your friend's skin. "I tried to protect her, but there were too many." He tried to show his surprise at the continued explanation. You usually stuck to one or two word answers around him, no matter how hard he tried to get more. "We almost didn't make it out with her." 
He hummed in response, watching as the wound stitched itself back together, the discoloration beginning to leave her skin. Once all of Shadowheart's armor was removed, you stood, mumbling about how you'd return quickly and you left. 
You were back only seconds later with a rag and a bucket, and you began cleaning the blood from your companions skin in the areas he's already healed. 
The two of you worked in silence until you were sure he'd healed every little scratch on Shadowheart before you both walked out of her tent, allowing her to rest until she woke on her own. You sighed and rolled your neck, your shoulders drooping as if you had weights tied to your arms pulling them down. 
"Are you injured?" Halsin asked, stepping toward you, but keeping his hands to himself. Through all the blood on you, he couldn't tell if any of it was yours, and if it was, where it came from. 
"I'll be fine, go help Astarion and Karlach," You demanded, your eyes looking past him at the setting sun. 
He moved to argue that you also needed attending to when you held up your hand, pushing it into his chest and giving him a weak shove. 
"Halsin," You whispered his name and his mind froze as you looked up at him, "Please." 
He let loose a breath before dipping his chin in a nod. The corner of your lips twitched up before falling back into a hard line. 
"Thank you." He watched as you turned from him, heading for your own tent as you began undoing the buckles of your leather armor, preparing to remove it. 
He'd do as you asked - he would go check on the others, make sure they were alright. Then, he'd check on you. He'd even have Astarion hold you down so he could heal you if he needed to. 
~~~
You huffed as you dropped your bloodied leather armor on the bank of the river near camp, kneeling down with a grunt as you began rinsing the blood from your clothing. The water of the river began to darken, reddening as you held your shirt in the stream, attempting to push out the blood before it dried. You were still covered in it, but armor was never cheap, and you weren't one to parade around in bloodied clothes any longer than necessary. 
Once you were satisfied with how clean you were able to get your clothes, you hung them on a tree branch hanging over the embankment to dry before removing your undergarments. The blood had soaked through to those as well. When they were hung next to your armor, you stepped into the river, hissing as the cold water bit at your ankles. 
It was a rather deep river, the water coming up to the bottom of your ribs once you reached the middle. You tried to scrub as you went, watching as it flaked off your skin and disappeared into the stream, revealing injuries you hadn't dared to acknowledge until now. 
There were gashes on your legs and arms, bruises littering your body, more coming to light as you scrubbed the blood and mud away. 
"Will you allow me to heal you now?" Halsin's voice sounded from behind you and you fought against the embarrassment of him catching you naked in the river as you folded your arms over your breasts. 
"I'm fine," you looked over your shoulder at him, the worry evident in his eyes as he stopped right at the water's edge. 
"You're bleeding."  
"I said I'm fine." You growled out, watching as his lips pressed into a hard line and he squatted down, picking up a twig to fiddle with as he looked at you.
"Why won't you let me help?" 
"Because I didn't ask you for it." You scowled, turning away from him and lowering yourself into the stream, holding in the hiss as the water rushed by, cleaning the cuts and scrapes along your arms. Before he could respond, you dunked your head, letting the cold water run through your hair, the current pulling as much of the blood and dirt out as it could without you scrubbing it. 
When you emerged, wiping the water from your face, Halsin had moved. 
He was maybe two feet from you, standing in the river still clothed, the water up to his hips and his trousers soaking it up, clinging to his muscled thighs. That worried look still plagued his face as he looked down at you, his brows pinched together and a heavy frown on his lips. 
"Why can I not offer my help to you?" He asked, his voice a low rumble. You fought the rush of nerves that flooded your system, using the day's anger to push them back down into the pit in your chest they'd crawled out from. 
"Because I am not in need of it." You sneered. You just wanted to be left alone, left to wallow in your self hatred and frustrations. Left to tend to yourself. To suffer. "I can take care of myself," You held his gaze with a glare, "Always have." 
"But you do not need to," He muttered, taking a small step toward you, "You are allowed to lean on your friends for assistance." 
You scoffed, looking away from him. "It was that type of thinking that cost us today." 
"I believe it is what saved you today." 
"You weren't there." The sound of Shadowheart's scream as the gnolls ripped her open would not be a sound you ever forgot. Or forgave yourself for. "They relied on me, leaned on me, to lead the way, to find a way to win and I fucked up." The anger bubbled in your chest, simmering as your eyes grew blurry, "I got cocky and moved too far too fast. A small group of beasts circled around to Shadowheart. I failed them." 
You were waiting for him to agree, to shout at you, to yell. But there was only silence. Hell, you weren't even sure he was still standing there as you continued, "I failed them, and I almost failed in getting them out. They relied on me and I let them down." Your hands came up to your shoulders, grazing over the injuries that had clotted there. 
"Is that why you refuse to let me heal you?" Halsin asked, the sounds of splashing water telling you he was moving. He appeared in front of you, kneeling down and letting the river wash over him without so much a shiver.  "Because you think you deserve it? As some sort of punishment?" 
You held his stare, your vision blurring as your anger bubbled in your throat. 
"Yes, you made a mistake, everyone does," He closed the distance between the two of you, but still not touching you, "but you still all made it out. You relied on each other to escape alive. You got them out." Your brows pinched as he spoke, "I talked with Karlach and Astarion, they told me how you fought tooth and nail to get to them, to help them.They credit their survival to you." 
"They're fools to do so," You whispered and he shook his head. 
"They are not," He stated, "You saved them today. You took care of them," He reached a hand out for you, waiting for you to take it, "Now let yourself be cared for. Let's not add to your collection of scars." 
You took a deep breath, trying to will the tears in your eyes to vanish before they fell. The words wobbled as they left your lips, "You're not going to leave me alone until you heal me, are you?" 
"If you truly wish for me to leave you alone, I'll go," His hand was still held between you, open and waiting. "But I don't believe you deserve more scars marring your perfect skin, or any sort of punishment." 
You took a deep breath, blaming the shuddering in your breath on the chill of the water as you lifted your hand out of the water and rested it in his own, palm up so he could see the cut there. "Okay." 
"Your skin is like ice," His warm calloused hand wrapped around yours as it glowed, your skin stitching back together, "Should we move to a tent?" 
Before you could deny him, your body shook with a harsh shiver running through your spine and you sighed. "Yes, please." 
He looked back to your clothes hanging over the tree, still dripping pink water. "I'll go get you a towel and some dry clothes." 
~~~
You sat in Halsin's tent, your damp hair clinging to your skin, his extra shirt drowning you. He hadn't wanted to go through your things, so he'd grabbed you some of his clothes and you didn't argue as you'd  slipped them over your head at the river bank. Your legs were bare, his shirt practically a dress on you, and it took all of his will power not to stare when you shifted where you sat across from him, the fabric of the shirt riding up your thighs. Your thighs that were burnt and bruised and sliced. 
He’d decided when finding you in that river, injuries on display, the blood leaking from your skin washed away by the freezing water, that he was going to leave tonight and let the bear inside him hunt down that pack of gnolls. 
He cleared his throat before gesturing to - well to all of you. “Where would you like me to start?” 
Your eyes, heavy with exhaustion, lifted to his. Your skin had grown paler by the hour and your body had become sluggish. He’d have picked a starting point himself but he knew not to rush or push you. 
You gestured to your arms as you held them out before him, palms up showing him the clotted slashes on your forearms. 
Halsin took your arms in each of his hands, the area glowing as he healed you. The next hour went on like that, you silently giving him parts of you to heal and him healing them without hesitation. By the time he’d finished, your normal tone had mostly returned to your face, but you were mostly asleep. 
Healing was not only tiring for the healer, but exhausting for the injured. He’d noticed your grit teeth, your subtle controlled breathing as your skin closed and knitted back together. He couldn’t blame you for slipping into a deep slumber as he finished the last wound on your shoulder, gently removing his hands so as to not wake you. 
Seeing you so relaxed, so calm, it was new to him. You’d always had a stoney expression, your lips set in a thin line and your brows settled almost permanently in a subtle scowl. But the lack of anger and sorrow in your feature now - well he wasn’t sure which version he was in love with more. 
Halsin pulled a blanket over you, stepping out of the tent to let you sleep. The rest of the camp had mostly retired for the night as well, only Astarion reading in his tent with the flap open. 
The vampire looked up at him with those red eyes, nodding in acknowledgment before returning his attention to whatever text was in his hands. 
The Druid slipped into the woods, walking for a while before he deemed he was far enough away. Far enough to not wake the camp, before he shifted, letting the bear begin its hunt. 
~~~
Leaves rustling nearby woke you, your eyes opening to see the unfamiliar inside of a tent. Your brows pinched as you sat up, a groan escaping your chest at the effort. Your body was exhausted, and as you rubbed the sleep from your eyes, you started to remember what had happened. How you got to be in this tent, in the shirt that hung from your frame. 
You remembered who put you there. 
Glancing around the tent for Halsin, you found you were alone. You didn't want to be the reason he didn't get to sleep tonight so you stood quickly, climbing for the entrance flap, reaching to push it open, when it slipped from your fingers. 
You peered up into the shadow looming over the entrance, and your body prepared for a fight. Their features were in heavy shadow as the campfire lit them from behind and there was a familiar iron rich smell coming from them. Blood. You just hoped whoever this was hadn't gotten to anyone else in your camp yet, that they were still alive. 
Your muscles tensed and you took a breath to shout, to wake up your companions if they were alive and warn them. But the figure held up a hand, his voice a low rumble that calmed your nerves instantly. 
"It's just me," Halsin said, slowly lowering himself into the tent, "I did not mean to startle you." 
You backed up, allowing him into the tent as your eyes traveled down his shirt, the red splotches hiding in the shadows. When you looked back up, you saw he had already figured out what you were looking at, and he could read the question on your lips.  
"It's not mine," He whispered, "I'm alright." 
"Whose is it?" You demanded, watching as he rummaged around for clean clothes. He pulled out a new pair of loose trousers. 
"The gnolls." He grunted, standing to leave. Your hand shot out to his, gripping his large fingers before he could leave. 
"You went after them?" 
He looked down at you, a slight smirk on his lips before his fingers squeezed yours back and he said, "Of course I did," as if it was the only logical thing for him to have done in the first place. His hand slipped from yours and just like that, he had slipped back out of the tent. 
You tried to follow him, but when you ripped the flap open, he was gone. You would have settled back into the warmth of the tent, shut that flap against the chill that pricked at your skin. But you stood, exiting the tent, and followed him down to the river. 
If he was going to wash up, that's where he'd go, unless he really wanted to hike another 3 miles to the next lake, which judging by the exhaustion in his eyes when he'd come for clean pants, you assumed he wouldn't. You hadn't bothered with shoes, and you cursed yourself for it as you tried to step around jutting up sticks and rocks that could slice your feet. 
Soon enough, the moonlight reflecting off of the river's surface was visible through the trees and you could hear the splashing of the water. Pushing the branches of the trees away, you finally broke free of the forest line and had river rocks beneath your feet. 
Halsin was in the middle of the river, scrubbing blood from his hair, just as you had done only hours before. 
"You'll catch a cold out here like that," He called to you, turning around to face you. 
"Why did you go after the gnolls?" You asked, crossing your arms across your chest, the movement reminding you how bare your legs were when the shirt shifted across your thighs. You tried not to bring attention to it, ignoring the chills that ran up your skin.
He looked down at the water as he rinsed his hands, "Does it matter?" 
"That depends entirely on how you answer the question." 
He glanced at you for a moment before dunking his head under the water, only to come right back up to the surface only a moment later. He sighed as he walked to the embankment, his dry pants hanging up on that same tree your earlier clothes still hung from. 
"Then it does not matter," He said, climbing out of the river, the water sliding down his chest, to his stomach, to his - you averted your eyes. You should've assumed he was naked, and you weren't sure why it made your heart start racing the way it did as you suddenly found the boulder next to you very interesting. 
"It does to me," You muttered, not expecting him to have heard you, to have been trying to hear you over the sounds of the river. 
Once his trousers were on, he turned to you, walking to stand at your side. "Would it be hard for you to believe that I did it because I wanted to?" 
You turned from the boulder, glancing at his feet to make sure he was clothed before your eyes trailed up his body, landing on his face. "You wanted to go on a midnight gnoll hunting spree?" 
He grunted in agreement, his head inclining to the side. "Is that hard to believe?" 
You scoffed, "Yes, actually. Especially because you went alone." 
"I can handle a pack of gnolls." He said the words with such certainty, his voice low and rough, it had your stuttering to respond. 
"It was reckless," You meekly muttered back, "You could've been hurt." 
"But I am not." Neither one of you had moved since he came to stand beside you, both of you remaining a mere few inches from the other.
"But you could have been." 
"Is that worry I sense in you, little shadow?" The nickname wasn't new, it was something he used to recall how you seemed to slip between darkness going undetected when tracking down leads or targets, but it also wasn't commonly used. He liked to use it when teasing you, flirting with you. But you were in no mood to flirt, and the only way to get him to see that, was to be honest. 
"Yes, it is." You stated, and the slight smirk that had grown on his lips fell as his eyes widened. "Why did you think it was a good idea to go hunt down those beasts without the rest of us, in the middle of the night? Hm?" 
He blinked once, twice, before sighing and looking at the ground beneath his feet, his hands finding their way to his hips. "I went because they harmed you," he said, and your world stilled. 
"What?" You asked, willing him to look at you again. He wiped a hand down his face before looking at you, his eyes full of nerves that he kept well hidden. 
"They hurt you," he sighed, reaching for your hands, "They almost killed you, and it angered me. It angered the beast that lives in my soul. I had to do something, and taking out on them the anger they caused was the only thing to do." 
Something in your chest melted at the conviction in his words, the utter dedication. You wanted to wrap your arms around him, to tell him he didn't need to do that, to fight for you. But in your experience, people only did these sorts of things when they wanted something in return. 
Your fingers tightened around his own, squeezing them as you took a breath, pushing down the swell in your heart at the look in his eyes. 
"What do I owe you?" You asked, trying not to cringe at the confusion in his pinched brows. 
"Why would you owe me?" 
"Because that's how the world works," you muttered, "Everything has a currency, whether it's gold, silver or favors. So what do I owe you? "
"You owe me nothing," his voice rumbled through your bones to your core, "I did not do this to gain a favor from you. I did this," He stepped closer, his breath mingling with yours, "because the thought of those beasts getting away with harming you is not something I can peacefully live with." 
"Why?" You read the confusion on his face and asked again, "Why? Why am I so important?" 
His hands dropped yours as they cupped your jaw, those large thumbs stroking across your cheeks and his fingers settled on your neck. 
"Because you are magnificent," His eyes were darting around your face, taking in every little detail while you allowed him to be this close, "You are the leader of this camp, everyone here follows you more than they follow themselves. You are the heart of this adventure we are on. You are fancied by everyone here." 
"I doubt that." 
"Well," He said, "I know I do." 
"No you don't." You whispered and his face pinched. "You don't, you might think you do, but you don't."
"Why don't I?" He asked, refusing to step away from you, your face still in his hands. 
You refused to look at him, your eyes locked on the water of the river just behind him. "You can't," You whispered, "Anyone who ever has ends up dead, if they don't leave me first." 
His face crumbled at that, hearing the ache of the past years of your life in your words. 
"Why would they leave you?" He asked, his voice barely audible over the river. 
You told him. You rambled about the horrible childhood you had, the early death of your human father, and the resentment in your elven mother when you were left on her doorstep. How you raised yourself, hunted for yourself, since she refused to have any hand in the way you were raised, including feeding you. You told him how you ran away when you were just a teenager and had been on your own ever since, for nearly two decades. 
Continuing your endless babble, you told him about the times you'd been captured by strange monsters throughout your travels, trying to leave out the details of what happened when you were held captive, but you knew he could piece it together. You explained how these things happening had made you cold, and shut off from the world, damaged, when you were silenced by something soft pressing against your lips. 
Your eyes were wide when Halsin pulled away just a second later, his lips parted as he looked at you. There were a million things either of you could've said, but your mind was blank now. The lingering pressure of his lips on yours distracting you from the wetness you now felt on your face. 
When did you start crying? 
You tore your gaze from his lips up to his eyes, where they watched you with such gentleness it frightened you. The want - no, the need - to have his lips on yours again was the only thing you could focus on now that you'd had a taste, and you would jump up to take it for yourself if the intensity in his gaze didn't root you to your spot. 
"I know what I enjoy," He whispered, leaning down so his lips brushed against yours as he spoke, his breath fanning your face as his wet hair fell around you, "and I know what I want." 
He didn't close the distance, instead letting your lips faintly brush while you tried to say something, anything. 
"And if you'll let me," He continued, "I'd like to enjoy what I want for as long as you'll allow." 
"Why don't you just take it?" You whispered. 
"I'm waiting for your permission." 
Silence settled over the two of you for a moment, the only noise between you being your mingling breaths. You took the moment to consider it, letting him have his way with you. You hadn't planned on fucking any of your traveling companions, attempting to keep it professional between all of you, but you couldn't deny that you'd at least thought about it. Not just with Halsin either, but that was something for another day. 
You'd thought about his hands on your skin, how large and safe they'd feel, how his fingers would feel in your cunt, in your mouth, wrapped around your neck. All you had to do was say yes, and he'd give it to you. 
So you swallowed your nerves, your voice barely audible as you whispered, "You have it."  
Halsin instantly closed that tiny fraction of distance, pressing his lips against yours. One of his hands left your face, going down preferring to pull your hip, tugging you into him as his lips parted, his tongue brushing against yours. You swallowed his groan as his large hand pushed the edge of your shirt up so he could cup your ass, grabbing all he could and squeezing. 
His right hand left your face, reaching down to mirror his left and he tugged up, grunting what sounded like "jump" between kisses. Your hands wound around his neck as you did your best to hop, letting him catch you and pull you up his body, pinning you between his chest and the smooth boulder at your back. 
The hair on his stomach brushed against the insides of your thighs, tickling in the best way, the pressure from his stomach pushing into your cunt, only separated by the thin fabric of your panties that were already wet.  
Halsin's lips left your mouth and he trailed open kisses down your neck and what he could reach of your chest, biting and sucking as he went, lighting your nerves on fire at the same time. HIs hands easily pushed you further up the boulder, bringing your dripping core up to his view and putting your legs over his shoulders.
His eyes were hungry as he glanced between you and that soaked spot in your panties. His lips attached to your leg, working their way up your inner thigh, each bite he climbed higher earning more and more desperate whines from you. He chuckled at the noises escaping your throat as he looked up at you, his eyes glazed over with lust, but also so so clear at the same time. 
"Is this okay?" You'd never heard his voice so rough, so raw as he looked up at you. "We can always go somewhere more comfortable." 
Something in your chest melted at the concern in his words. Even when his hands were shaking and his pupils were blown, your comfort was priority. But you didn't care if he took you in his tent or a bed or against this damn boulder, you just needed to feel him. 
"It matters not to me," you were breathless as you told him, "I just want you to show me how much you say you want me." 
He smirked at that, one of his hands dragged over your skin as he slid it under your shirt, reaching to grab your breast as his other pulled your panties aside. 
He laid his tongue flat against your aching cunt and licked a languid stripe up, flicking it across your clit before going back for more. Your hands shot to his hair, still wet from the river, carding through it and gripping it at the roots. His hand on your breast pulled and played with your nipple, the sensation caused by his rough fingers shooting through you to your core, soaking his face even more. 
You watched him from up on that rock, his face buried in you, his eyes closed as if he were savoring it. A moan vibrated from him, through your cunt that left you gnawing on your lip to keep quiet. You weren't close to the campsite, but who knew what or who else was out in these woods. 
Your breath started to quicken, your grip on his hair tightening further, and his eyes opened to look at you. You could barely see the hazel in his eyes as he watched you panting and writhing above him. The pressure building was familiar and you knew it wouldn't take long for you to snap if he kept going the way he was
It seemed he knew too. 
Because suddenly, his mouth was off of you and your skin was met with the chilled air. 
"Can't have you cumming just yet," He declared, his hand leaving your chest and trailing down to your cunt, lightly dragging through the folds and slick. Your hips bucked into his hand and he chuckled, "Eager?" 
Your skin heated at his comment and how focused on your dripping entrance he was. When your breathing had somewhat evened out, two of his fingers circled your cunt, spreading your slick around and around before he finally looked up at you, and slid them in. 
Your mouth opened in a strangled moan that you had fought to not let out, the stretch just from his fingers alone enough to make you dizzy with want. They slid all the way in before they curled, stroking that perfect spot to make your back arch and your moan grew louder. 
Halsin grinned, "Oh I love that sound you make." He angled his head down again, watching his fingers get swallowed by your cunt over and over again as he pumped them in and out. "And I love watching my fingers disappear inside you." 
His head dipped lower, and his lips wrapped around your clit, his tongue tracing tight circles over it in time with his fingers. That pressure from earlier began building again, quicker this time as you struggled to stay somewhat quiet. You tugged on his hair and your hips rocked, grinding into his mouth and fingers, his name a whisper on your lips. 
"Don't stop," You panted, release so close your muscles began tightening, "please don't stop." 
He groaned into you, the vibrations shooting through everyone of your nerves and your head fell back with a soft thud against the rock. The band that had tightened in your core was so close to snapping, to sending you over the edge.
But before you could go over that edge, Halsin released your clit and pulled his fingers from you, chuckling at the truly pathetic whine that left your lips, tears starting to gather in your lashes at the sudden loss. 
"Don't worry," he muttered the words into the skin of your thigh before moving both your legs off his shoulders, wrapping them around his waist, "You'll get to cum," He leaned forward, catching your lips with his, and you moaned at the taste of yourself, "I promise." 
He wrapped his hands around your thighs, telling you to wrap your arms around his neck and he picked you up from the boulder. He didn't take you far, just turned and leaned down, laying you on the river bank before sitting up, his hands going to the ties on his trousers. 
"I've dreamed of this since I met you," he declared as he untied his trousers. Your eyes traveled down his chest to the large bulge he was working to free, and your cunt clenched around nothing in anticipation. "I've been wanting to take you for weeks." 
A shiver of excitement raced down your spine, "So have I." 
His eyes darkened at that, his hands quickening their pace and he finally removed his pants. He reached for your hips, pulling your panties down your legs and tossing them to the side. He grabbed the edge of your shirt, but stopped, looking at you. 
"It's a bit cold out, do you want to leave this on?" Your heart melted at his concern, at his ability to still worry even when he was so close to getting what he wanted. 
"I want to feel all of you against me," you said, a thought taking over your mind, "but I also want to be on top. I want to ride you." 
He grinned down at you as you shifted to sit up, "You can do whatever you wish to me." 
You smiled, crawling over his legs as he sat and lay on the ground, sighing when your legs settled on either side of his hips, your core hovering over his aching cock. He slid his hands under your shirt, pushing it up and over your head, tossing it to the pile of clothes before his hands dragged down your shoulders and over your breasts before resting against your hips. 
"Gods, you're beautiful," he said, his thumbs stroking circles into your hips as your hand reached down, wrapping around his cock. He groaned at your touch, his head tipping back as you stroked it up and down. 
You angled your hips and lined him up with your cunt, swiping him through your folds a few times, relishing in how his grip tightened on your hips. You went to sink on to him, to finally have him inside you, when he startled. 
"Wait." His eyes snapped open. "I have to tell you something first."  Your brows pinched, but you let his cock go, and you settled on top of it, sliding your hips back and forth over it while you waited for whatever he had to tell you. "Fuck, you're not gonna make this easy are you?" He smirked. 
You shook your head, swallowing your moans as you waited. 
"If I get too worked up, I have a. . . a chance to shift," He said, eyes avoiding yours. You angled your head to the side, as your heart stuttered at the sudden anxiety rippling off of him. You'd never seen him so nervous, he was always so sure of himself, of what he did.
"You mean," You whispered, "You could change into a bear?" There was shame in his eyes as he nodded. 
"I understand if you change your mind about this, I won't be hurt." He still wasn't meeting your eyes as he spoke, his hands unnaturally still before they started to pull away from you. 
Your hands snapped out to grab his wrists, pulling his hands back to your skin as you lifted your hips up. His eyes finally lifted to yours in surprise when you reached down to again grip his cock in your hand, lining him up with your entrance. 
"Are you too exhausted to heal if necessary?" You asked, your voice low and sultry as you waited for a reply. 
The corners of his lips twitched up, and the worry for him in your heart ebbed away for now, "I'm never too exhausted to heal you." 
"Then it matters not," You pushed down on to him, moaning at the stretch, "I like a challenge." 
He moaned as you sank down, inch by inch, his eyes locked on to where his cock disappeared into you. When you were all the way to the base, you began slowly rocking your hips as you adjusted to his size, watching him as his eyes closed and his head tipped back again, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to bruise. 
"Gods," he sighed, "You feel so good wrapped around me like this." 
When the sting of the stretch turned into a burning need, you lifted your hips, dragging off of him about half way before sinking back down. You braced your hands on his chest, gripping the hair there as you angled your hips and drove them down, hitting that spot that had you unable to bite down your moans. 
"You're going to wake up the camp moaning like that, little shadow," He grunted below you, "Do you wish to be found out here like this?" 
Your cunt clenched around him, and he moaned a laugh. 
"Oh, you like that idea?" He asked, his breath coming in hot pants as you leaned over him. "You like the idea of one of them finding you like this? Maybe they'd want to join, hm?" 
The thought of one of your companions finding you two, and wanting to join you, the thought of another pair of hands on you tore a loud moan from your throat and he grinned, his hands helping your hips keep their rhythm. 
"You do like that," he mused, his eyes starting to glow gold, "Oh fuck - " He grit his teeth, pushing down that need to shift as you fucked yourself on his cock. But he couldn't hold in all of it. 
His body grew a bit, the muscles stretching under your hands, but you didn't stop. The rhythm of your hips faltered as your climax grew closer and you were thankful he was helping you keep it, his hands lifting and slamming your hips down for you. 
You felt the stretch before realizing what was happening - his cock grew as he tried to hold in the shift. The sudden added length and girth sending you over the edge, everyone of your muscles tightening as your vision went white and your blood roared in your ears. You were sure you screamed, but there was a hand over your mouth, one that smelled of your own arousal. 
Halsin kept slamming your hips onto him, hitting that spot over and over and over. You felt his legs shift as he planted his feet on the floor and suddenly you were tugged down. His hand wrapped around the back of your neck, holding your face in his shoulder where you bit down to keep quiet, and his other arm wrapped around your back. 
He slammed up into you, chasing his own release but also ripping a second one from you. You bit hard into his skin, your lips vibrating against his shoulder as you shouted at your second orgasm, your cunt clenching his cock as he stilled, spilling into you. 
Halsin’s body twitched as he shouted into your neck, his hold tightening on you, squeezing the breath out of you. Your mouth released his shoulder, instead placing gentle kisses along his skin as his body began to shrink back to its normal size. 
"Are you alright?" He whispered into your cheek, dragging his lips over what he could reach of your face. You hummed and nuzzled your nose into his neck. 
"I'm alright," You mumbled, exhaustion beginning to weigh heavy on you. "Just. . . just tired." 
He chuckled, stroking the back of your head and tracing patterns over the expanse of your back. "Go to sleep, little shadow, I'll dress you and carry you back to camp." 
You let out a sleepy giggle, "What if I woke them?" 
"If they'd heard your scream when you came, they would've run down here already," He pulled back so he could try to look down at you. "But I think I caught it in time." 
"I guess you did," You words started to slur as sleep started to take you. 
"Maybe we should ask one of them to join next time, just to keep you quiet," He murmured, smirking at the way you moaned at the thought, your hips trying to grind down on him. "Oh yes, I think next time we'll see if one of them will join us." 
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senseichaos · 3 months
Note
Hey, same anon asking about yandere stuff. I'm so glad to hear!! Of course if you want to, may I please request yandere Vox with the reader? Like how they try to run from him? Perfectly fine with it being a female reader as I am one. And I don't mind how you write it. Do whatever you please! I love seeing others' interpretation of the characters 🖤 No rush!
YOU CAN'T RUN. HELL, YOU CAN'T HIDE EITHER.
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thank you lovely anon! I love the concept of Yandere Vox! Hope this is good :) let me know your thoughts in another ask if you'd like! Lots of love!
Summary: Vox doesn't often fall in love often, no. Well that was until you came around- and you wanted a job with Valentino of all people? No. That would never fly with him. He'd make you work with him instead, like an intern or something? Hell, anything to make you stay near him. Anything to get him as close to you as possible.
Genres: Angst with a small amount of sexuality
NOT PROOF READ (yet)
Warnings/Tags: Yandere Vox, Insecurity, Reader is naive, manipulation, mind control, exploitation, creepy behavior, masking, contractual agreements, reader lacks hell experience, Vox is violent, Vox lacks empathy, angst, swearing, overall kinda depressing (LET ME KNOW IF MISSING ANY)
Pt 2
_______
You can't believe your eyes when you step into that tower, the pink glass adorning the outsides making your eyes shimmer. You have a job interview with Valentino today, after waiting for (probably too long) to get a job somewhere.
You see, hell worked slightly differently to earth. Where things in earth worked in a more of a 'work and make work' sort of way, Hell is more 'work, make work, and fight'
You'd managed for the past months to live in a small apartment that happened to be owned by someone who got killed in an extermination. It wasn't your plan to impersonate a sinner and squat in their home, but you have to get by somehow, right?
Well- it also wasn't your plan to be a porn star. But no where else seemed to want to take you. You're small, too weak to be taken by anyone else. People on the street told you that you were made for the screen, that your body was perfect. Some even tried to pay you copious amounts of cash just for you to suck them off. And you hate it.
At least the elevator of the building is cozy.
Vox on the other hand was having the best day of his life: or in his definition, a day where Valentino doesn't have a stupid breakdown that Vox doesn't have to solve.
He loves to watch his people as they indulge in his technology, he loves to watch everyone become obsessed with him and his media, he loves to be in control of all of these people. He'll watch every screen around him with focus, taking in their reactions as he bottle feeds them content.
Could he be with his boyfriend, Val? Yes. Does he want to? Hell no. He doesn't love Val. Plain and simple in his eyes. He has Valentino to get his business along. To make him more powerful. He'll do what he has to to be the most powerful he can be. Even if it means toying with people around him.
Val doesn't think he's capable of falling in love with anyone in this horrible underworld he inhabits. Everyone here is fucked. he is fucked. Plus, he doesn't know anyone here who he'd connect with anyway.
Or well that's what he did think until right now. There is a girl in the central elevator that looks awfully out of place, causing Vox to turn the entirety of his attention onto her. She looks like a regular old sinner, yes- but still she stands it like a sore thumb against the few people also in the central elevator. Where everyone's boring physique was her own enticing one stands. Where everyone else's two tone personalities stand her own colorful and bright one shimmer in his 2-D irises.
And then comes that odd feeling in his chest, this weird bubbling feeling of emotions that causes his eyes to tear up ever so slightly. This feeling, it's addicting. He wants to grind her up into a smoothie and drink her up, making the feeling sit there forever.
Something is wrong with him: he thinks.
With bated breath vox looked at the floor the elevator was approaching, figuring out where the girl is exactly going. There are only few reasons a sinner shows up at V tower anyway: to get a job with Valentino, or to turn yourself in if you'd wronged them. The elevator number reads '10'. She's going up to the business floor where Valentino currently is.
A sudden twist finds its way into his stomach, a horrible twist that makes his head burn with anger. Who does Val think he is? Having a girl such as her working for him. He. Couldn't let this happen, no no no no no no no. Why would he even want to exploit such a girl? She's supposed to be loves and cherished for everything she is.
The only reason she'd want to work with Val is because she has no other thing to do. He needs to offer her a job- or something to keep her from giving herself away to Valentino. Something to keep her as close to him as possible- like an intern or an assistant or anything.
Anything: Vox thinks.
Not often is Vox so reckless, not often at all. He likes to think he's decorum and well-adjusted. Likes to think he's a figure of this time. Of his time.
But right now, all he wants is this beautiful fucking girl to look at him in his eyes. Is it selfish? To want something so bad you feel like you could to horrible things to get it? Probably. But this is hell. And as an overlord of hell he can take what he wants. For once he doesn't care.
--- 666 ---
You take a step from the elevator, looking around the rather nauseating long and rounded hallway with squinted eyes. You can barely remember where you're supposed to be going anymore. You're supposed to meet Val inside one of these many, many studios. But soon enough as you start to venture through the halls on light, unsure steps you find yourself unable to read the words and numbers on each door.
Something is wrong, and you're unable to focus. There's this buzzing sound in your ears, a very faint but obvious buzzing that's causing your brain to go fuzzy. You can't feel your body anymore, it's just walking down the hallway in painful circles.
Suddenly that tether in your brain snaps with a loud crack, and your face to face with a television. You're still standing, in this long hallway, but now you're looking into the dark eyes of a TV screen. Wait- Eyes?
"Oh, Hello there sinner, are you looking for Valentino?" He asks, voice weirdly distant yet close all at the same time. His smile is large, almost devilish looking as he stares down at you.
You feel on edge, and your head still has a very faint buzzing lining itself.
"Oh, erm, Yeah.. I can't seem to recall what room-" You flinch as he hooks an arm around your neck walking you down the hallway once again with a smirk. There's a weird edge to him that you can't pin down, this whole interaction almost seems.. forced? Oh, there you go again, putting labels on things. Stop overthinking!
"Don't worry your pretty head about it! I'll take you to him," he says, unhooking his arm from your shoulder; only for him to rather sensually drag his hand across your shoulder blades until it's claws barely rest against your shoulder.
"But you know," Vox begins, swinging himself around so he stands in front of you, hands resting on either of your shoulders. You have to stop yourself from bumping into his chest. "You don't have to work for him." He says, his voice turning slightly more TV like and distant as he speaks.
"What do you mean..?" You ask, pushing his hand off of your shoulder with a painful twist of butterflies. A type of butterflies that you can't understand.
"Well, you seem like the type of gal to enjoy.." he looks you up and down, moving his hands from your shoulders as he grins. "Taking orders," you tilt your head at his words, confused. He shakes his head to himself, looking away for a moment with a slight frown before staring back, smiling brightly.
"No, I mean that you could be my assistant! You can.." He thinks for a moment, tapping the bottom of his screen as if it were his chin. He shrugs, smiling awkwardly with furrowed brows. "Bring me drinks and such! C'mon.."
He leans down to your level again, looking into your eyes. You suddenly feel that wave of disorientation go through you again, the only thing seeming to make sense to you being.. Vox.
"You don't want to be exploited by him, do you?" He says, and you feel his screen radiating heat on your skin. The buzzing becomes more loud as he goes on, all you seem to be able to hear being his words as they drip from his vile tongue. "C'mon dear, He'll break you."
"And you don't want to be broken, Right?"
He is right. You don't want to be broken by Valentino. You don't want to be exploited. But you don't have any other choice-
Until now, that is. You have an opportunity.
You should take it, right?
The headache and buzzing dissipate, taking a chunk of your psyche along with it. You feel your feet begin to give out beneath you from the exertion, lacking balance as you wobble softly. Not wanting to faceplant into the carpet, you reach out to something, anything to hold you. It just so happens to be Vox's chest, grasping onto the fabric of his coat as you begin to slip down to the floor.
"Hey, Hey, it's okay, What's got you out of sorts?" He asks, grasping you by your waist as he lifts you back to your feet. You blink, looking around for a moment with a nervous breath. Those butterflies, again. You hate them.
"I- uh.. I dunno.." You say stutter, pushing yourself away and scratching that back of your neck.
"You're feeling better?" Vox says, dipping his lids as he tilts his head rather attractively.
You nod, looking down at the ground with a nervousness inside of you.
"Good, good.." he turns away, looking at the ground and pacing for a short amount of time "good.." he says softly to himself, turning back around and clasping his hands together as he grins.
"Now how about you follow me and we can get you set up, yeah?" He says, pressing his hand against the space between your shoulder blades as he turns back to the elevator. You look up at him, and for a moment he seems to be in his own world. At least he is until you speak.
"So what's your name, Mister?" You ask, fiddling your fingers against each other nervously. He grins, lids upturning with the smile as well. He leans down again, poking a blue claw on your cheek as buzzing blurs your brain.
"It's Vox, my dear," He says, and your brain goes soft and mushy with an emotion you cannot describe. It feels as though he's making you melt.
"Keep that in your head for me, will you princess?" He asks softly, pulling his claw up the side of your face with a manic grin.
With a sudden movement he pulls away, shrugging his hands.
"Now darling, let's get back to it, shall we?"
Something is off, and part of you wants more of it.
--- 666 ---
Mister Vox's office is large in size, walls lined with screens displaying different things across the entirety of the pride ring. You wonder what Vox may do here all day, seeing the singular seat between it all that doesn't even seem that cozy.
You assume he watches, broadcasts, does meeting, and.. does what he's doing right now, perhaps?
"What do you do all day, Mister Vox?" You ask, looking wide-eyed at the television lined walls of the area. He flinches, grinning awkwardly before bringing back his confident demeanor.
"Me? Oh, you know.. this and that- I go to meetings.. I sign paperwork, I go to meetings.." He laughs to himself, shaking his hand dismissively as he sits in his seat, spreading his legs in a man spread. You turn away from the screens, looking over at Vox as he scans the monitors with narrowed eyes. You wonder if he was doing something important before he found you.
"Uh, Mister Vox, what do I do now..?" You ask, taking a small step towards him. He tilts his head towards you, smiling as he swings his chair to face you completely.
"oh, you? You can just sit there and look pretty.." Vox looks you up and down with narrowed eyes, face blank for a long moment before bringing a small smirk onto his face. He leans back in his chair, clicking his fingers as a bundle of clothing finds it's way into your hands.
"Perhaps prettier, change into that for me will you dearest?" He says, leaning his head on his fist as his voice becomes slightly more distant. You look at him, confused as you clutch the blue and red clothing to your chest.
"Okay.. Where do I change, Mister Vox?" You say, fiddling with the collar of your shirt as your body feels hot. Vox rolls his eyes playfully, pointing a clawed finger to the floor as he shifts his chair back to the screen. "Just change here my dear, no one will see you," He says, looking at you with a side glance. It's almost condescending, in a way.
"right here? But-"
"Here is fine, dear. Hell, here is more safe to change than anywhere else in this building," He laughs. You get this off feeling like you should trust him. I mean, he's one of the people owning this building anyway, right? He would be the one knowing a lot about it rather than anyone else. you should trust him.
"Okay Mister Vox."
You can't see his grin.
Every piece of clothing you peek off feels like this weird symbolism for losing yourself. Off comes your shirt: a piece is lost. Off comes your shorts: a piece of you is lost. And then more clothes come onto you, building something new. On comes a skirt: a piece of you is molded. On comes a blouse: a piece of you is molded.
And then there's this watch, a mobile one with 'Vox Tech' plastered across the side. With a shrug you put it on, struggling with getting it to tightness but ultimately managing to win the battle with the finicky strap.
"Good, good, how great you look!" He says, outstretching his hands with a grin.
You feel yourself blush, one half of you from his compliment and the other half from the fact he's looking completely in your direction. Does that mean he was watching you the whole time?
"Actually my dear, do you think you can grab me a coffee?" He asks, clicking his hands as a streak of blue energy shoots inside of the watch; this causes a mao to appear on the screen, showing where you are currently. "That map should tell you where to go, the assistant there should give you the coffee the way I like it,"
You shouldn't ask it, but you feel your bones ache too.
"How do you like it?"
He grins, tilting his head.
"Sweet with a strong flavour," He states, waving you off.
--- 666 ---
The first week as Vox's Assistant goes by smoothly, or as smoothly as it could working with an Overlord of hell. A rather odd seeming one at that.
Everything feels on edge with Vox, you feel like at any moment he could do something drastic. You've no idea what said drastic thing could be either, which makes it a whole lot more anxiety inducing. Hell, Vox is attractive. That's probably why you're on edge. That's what you keep telling yourself anyway. You're probably in love with him or something.
Vox had even given you housing as close to the building as possible, insisting he pay the rent. Not that you complain, no; less walking for you it seems. The Vox Tech watch he gave you tells you pretty much everything that you need to do. When you wake up in the morning it goes off, alerting you like an alarm, it has a to do list that blares when you're in the office, it maps out the whole space, it even acts as Vox's messaging system towards you.
You do wonder how he controls it, even in the comfort of your own home. Well, he is an overlord, right? He's capable of things even outside of your grasp. You cannot even fathom what he could do with that power.
And that's just the way Vox likes it.
Actually, you haven't seen Valentino around the building the whole week either. Even in a meeting you accompanied Vox to. You'd expect to see him more often with all the prowling in and out of the building you do.
It's as if he's vanished.
"Princess, grab me a coffee will you? Maybe even grab one for yourself while you're at it, on the house," Vox asks, swiveling on his chair to face your own, which sits just off to the side of his own with a small desk in front of it. You'd been doing some paperwork for him for the past hour, mostly reading through stuff, asking him questions, and singing them for him.
"Yeah, sure.. um, I was just wondering.." You utter softly, causing Vox to raise a brow as he leans back on his chair with a confident grin. He tilts his head in question, saying: "What's on your mind, (N/N)?"
"I haven't seen Valentino around the building, I was just wondering if something's up with him?" You ask, looking down at the ground as you begin to regret yourself even questioning. Vox laughs, flapping his hand in dismissal.
"Oh, just that? Don't worry about it! He's just.." Vox pauses for a moment, shrugging his shoulders. "Doing his own thing," He finishes, smiling rather oddly as he begins moving his chair back to face his computers. You intercept.
"His own thing..?"
Vox turns back to you, grinning widely with a manic look in his 2-D eyes. Once again, the buzzing fills your brain. And you fall to your knees against the ground with a painful 'thump'. Vox harshly grips your chin, pulling you closer to him until all you can see is that blaring red eye of his as he speaks.
"As i said,"
You feel yourself wanting to let go.
"Don't worry about it."
He lets you go of your trance, leaving you teary eyed as he smiles softly, brows furrowing in a sort of mocking empathetic way. His eyes drip with affection you find.
"Now, grab that coffee, okay?" He finishes, placing a cold kiss against your forehead before letting go of your chin, leaving yourself to gather your bearings.
It's not often you feel the want to defy someone. But as you stand from the floor, dusting off your skirt and walking to the elevator; you feel that need to be defiant. You'd figure out where Valentino is. He has to be somewhere in the building, right? You just have to find.. him..
In these hundreds and hundreds of doors. You would have to find him. And you can't take so long, otherwise Vox may suspect something.
You'd find someone to tell you where he is, you'd find him, and you'd stop worrying if Vox is going to do something drastic because he hasn't lied to you. Simple as that, simple as that. Right?
As it just so happens, as you begin walking through the studio halls you find yourself bumping into a spider individual, of whom you remember being a popular porn star.
So with an anxious breath you asked him. He explained that Valentino was in studio B-40, but he doesn't recommend finding him. And once again you go against someone's wishes. Plus, you were just going to stick your head in the door. It's nothing to worry about.
So what are you so anxious when you find yourself getting closer to the door? Why does your throat feel so tight? Why do you want to run in the other direction? Why does every step feel so heavy?
Taking another small step to the door, you wonder if you should listen to your conscious. It's supposed to do you good , right?
No, that's baby talk.
You aren't weak. You aren't letting the people in hell get you down! You are going to open the door!
You push yourhand towards the door handle and-
"Ouch! Fuck-" You yelp, an electric shock going through your body, causing you to fall backwards onto the hard floor below. Your whole body is on fire, you can't feel your tongue. You can't feel your brain.
A hum accompanies Vox's words.
"You're not going in there." He says, leaning over you as you push yourself to your knees, pressing yourself to the wall. Your head is throbbing.
"I'll beat him to a pulp if he sees you, you know?" Vox laughs, that sickening pseudo-empathetic look covering his flat features. You feel your stomach twist, this time in an awful way, it's like he's draining you of your soul. You want to disappear.
"I don't want to be aggressive," Vox begins as he grips your face harshly, causing tears to well into your eyes. "But your fucking mine, you got that?"
"And I won't let that sleazy prick get his greedy eyes anywhere near you!"
"W-what?" You whimper, pushing his hands from his face and backing away meekly. Vox laughs to himself, red dripping from his two dimensional mouth. He humors you with that gaze of his, eating alive any part of your confidence that may still linger.
"Oh, don't you get it, my dear? You sighed the paperwork," Vox leans down so his eyes can bore into your own, his gums showing in that prideful smile of his. "You belong to me now."
You choke on air, standing to your wobbly feet.
"W-what? I don't un-"
The paperwork. The paperwork you signed to get the job. You didn't read it! You idiot. You fucking idiot! You've ruined your own life. You belong to him..
To Vox.
"You- Shit-!" You turn around on your heels, almost slipping as you speed off into the hallway. You hear his voice echo in your ears.
"You can't run. Hell, you can't hide either!"
This was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake. You want to die. You want to disappear. You want to get as far away from him as possible. You don't even take the elevator down, you run down every single flight of stairs jumping down a couple to save time.
The slip beneath your feet almost makes you topple over as you clutch onto the railing, swinging yourself onto the next flight of stairs. You have to be close to the bottom, right. Right? Yeah. This is fine.
And you were, right, surprisingly. You can almost see the entrance outside. You just have to make it out of this lobby. You just have to make it out of this huge fucking stupid ass lobby! You have to.
All of the sinner's eyes bore at you as you run at top speed to the door. You can't be here. You need to leave immediately. He can't find you If you're far away, right? Just go somewhere without a camera.. it'll be fine.. everything will be fine.
You're so close! Just a few more steps, a few more heavy, headache inducing steps.
You can make it. You just have to believe in yourself, and it'll all work out. Everything will be fine. It just has to be. Hell can't be this cruel, can it?
You're so close to the door you can smell the outside world, hear the cars as they pass, hear the charter hear the-
You choke and fall.onto the ground, a heaviness around your neck and wrists. It buzzes against your skin, making you go light headed. You can barely see it, but it's there. There are handcuffs around your wrists. And a collar around your neck. All of which glowing and buzzing with that electric blue of Vox.
He is right.
You can't run, you can't hide, you can't do anything.
He owns you, he has you. You can't do anything.
You made a mistake.
Maybe hell really is this cruel.
Keeping you forever tethered to this man.
Who knew one mistake would ruin the rest of your eternity.
Serves you right for being so naive.
"Alright now, are we done with our tantrum?" Vox asks.
"Yes mister Vox." You say.
645 notes · View notes
wosoluvrr · 4 months
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sorry about the blood in your mouth, i wish it was mine || a. russo x reader (2)
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summary: you reconcile with the girls before heading to the hospital with alessia.
warnings: some angst, some sweet stuff, a few curse words here and there, insinuations of smut but no smut if you catch my drift
a/n: hi! part 2 as requested :)! thank you for the love on the first part (which you can read here if you're behind ;)), it was all very sweet. you're all wonderful. do let me know if you're interested in some singular stories or more multiple parters, (and with who)! i do have an esme morgan fic nearly done, though! anyways, i hope you enjoy this one all the same. as always, all my love 🤍
to your dismay, the match ended just before alessia and you could make your way to the hospital, the girls pouring in from the tunnel looking for you. the clash against united had ended as a stalemate, the frustration and dissatisfaction from their performance seemingly hanging itself in the air as they came upon the two of you.
it was clear some of them were upset with you, their jaws clenching and posture painfully reserved, with others more indifferent to your outburst. however, despite any feelings of frustration, there was a sense of relief on each of their faces; steph being the first to commit herself to wrapping you in her arms, her hands protectively holding your face against her as she noted how scared she'd been for you. lia joined next, slender fingers pressing themselves into your back and squeezing your arm in reassurance.
the guilt was practically seething from your skin, eyes glossy as you stumbled over nearly a million apologies and accepted each of their hugs. alessia watched quietly from the corner, mumbling something to beth as she left to collect your guys' things from the lockers in the room over.
"does it hurt as bad as it looks?" kyra asks, brown eyes trailing from your nose down to your lips as she winced at the sight.
"it doesn't feel great," you laugh and put your hands on your hips, "but it certainly can't top the pain of that glass bottle you shattered on my foot."
"i wouldn't have dropped it if caitlin hadn't of jumped out of nowhere and scared me!" she exclaimed, arms crossing defensively.
you playfully push her as her cheeks flush crimson, caitlin laughing and filling katie in on the story of what had happened a couple years ago when you had come to visit them in australia. it almost felt a little like normal, the small talk conversations easing your anxiety as you reveled in being able to truly breathe again. there really wasn't anything you loved more than your girls, just the presence of them made the pounding pain backwash itself into a slight afterthought.
"i'm glad you're okay, you're not one to get reactive on the pitch."
leah was beside you now and the feeling of next to you immediately made your heartbeat hammer it's way into your throat. besides alessia, there was hardly anyone you wanted to impress more than leah. you couldn't help but look up to her, the young lioness captain crowning you her 'sweetest best friend' and sticking by you through your first national team call ups, and eventual life changing transfer to arsenal.
though you'd never say it, being one of leah's best friends was (nearly) the greatest thing to ever happen to you. to put it frankly, you'd rather die than have the girl be ashamed of you.
"i don't know what got into me," you reply, eyes focused on alessia as she placed your bags on the bench, laughing heartily at victoria desperately trying to do more push-ups than manuela.
leah follows your gaze and nods, pulling you into her side for a hug and sighing. "i think we both know what got into you, y/l/n," she says knowingly.
alessia’s watching you now, victorias cried not even enough to grab her attention. you'd barely told leah about your crippling crush on the striker out of fear she would tell georgia and keira, who would think it's funny to tell mary, who would accidentally tell ella— who would, without a doubt, tell alessia.
although, you hadn't been able to perfectly contain it, your infatuation spilling itself to leah sometimes as she jokingly told you to make a move. she didn't understand the seriousness of it all, only ever remembering when you accidentally said something that indicated your potential crush.
however, despite her joking pushes for confession, you'd gotten close once. you had a whole speech to go through and you even bought the roses and a cute stuffed bear. but, you bailed at the last second and gave the gifts to esme instead as a valentine's day gift since she was one of the only girls without somebody to expect something from.
she was more than delighted, hugging you longer than you'd ever been hugged before and returning the favor with flowers and a chocolate box promptly the next day. the sweetness of it all allowed you to forget about the pathetic mess of it all for a moment, deciding it was fate to give it to a good friend, like esme, rather than a hopeless crush, like alessia.
"you're going to the hospital, right?" leah asks when you pull away, her stern look still evident as she continued to dance around her obvious desire to chew you out.
"yeah, of course. alessia is coming with me, i think," you look over to her but she's already looking back, arms crossed as she leaned against the wall by herself now; seemingly waiting for you to be ready.
leah nods, pulling you in for one final squeeze and shedding her puffer, helping you into it and zipping it up to your chin. she lingers on your face a moment, running her thumb carefully over the tape on your skin to better secure the bandage alessia had clumsily put against your face before insisting you head to the hospital.
"i'll call you tomorrow, yeah? glad you're not scuffed up too bad, mate. i mean it. off you go," she nods to alessia who is now standing behind you, leah giving her a tight smile before heading back to the girls.
"ready to get all stitched up?" alessia asks with a smile as you dryly laugh, walking past her towards the door as she followed in quick succession, nearly dropping her keys.
despite how good the aftermath of the match had gone with the girls, the 30 minute drive to the hospital was hard to get through.
you didn't like being alone with alessia because it made you nervous, and the confinement of her mercedes was probably the worst situation you'd been in yet. your head was still pounding and the music she played only made you feel worse, eyes squeezed shut as you tried to make it all stop for what felt like the millionth time today.
and she was so close to you, her sweet smelling perfume driving you insane.
you weren't usually this close to her, often coming upon the perfume as you came out from the showers last, the smell clearly indicating alessia had left no later than a few minutes before you. you liked it that way— perfectly keeping your distance but still being able to, for lack of better words, lose your mind over her.
"are you nervous at all?" alessia asks, hands clumsily flipping the turn signal on.
"for the stitches?"
she nods.
"i don't like needles all that much," you admit as your stomach churned at the thought, "but i'm not very scared, no. as long as i don't see the needle beforehand i'll be okay."
"i've never had stitches before," she says. "i've only ever broken bones and stuff." the memory of her broken leg at unc floods your memory and it makes you feel a little sick, a photograph of a weak bodied alessia in a hospital gown reentering your memory.
you decide to finally look at her now, admiring how her nose scrunches every once in awhile and how she can't seem to decide which hand she wants to steer the wheel with.
"i'm more worried about getting my nose reset, i've had my shoulder put back into place mid match and it sucked pretty bad."
the rest of the drive is silent until the car roughly pulls into a parking space, alessia muttering about how bad she is at parking as she readjusts the positioning and turns the engine off. the silence feels heavy, the lack of engine humming and music making everything feel worse than it did before.
"do you want me to stay in the waiting room when they call you in?"
you hadn't thought about whether she'd come in or not, the pain of having to choose making your palms feel clammy.
"what do you want to do?" you ask, hoping she accepts your deflection.
"i want what you want. you know that," she says.
the words weigh themselves on you and you can't think anymore, brain feeling completely detached as you replay the idea over and over.
"come in," you decide without much thought. "no reason to have come all this way just to sit in a waiting room, right?"
she nods and smiles at you, blue eyes intently searching your own for something you weren't sure of. you abruptly turn back forward and clear your throat, reaching to the floorboards to grab your phone and keys to your own car.
alessia gets out before you can, opening the door for you and insisting you put 'some real pep in your step' so she can get you checked in as quick as possible.
it all starts to feel a little too intimate— alessia cleaning your cuts, alessia offering to take you to the hospital, alessia alessia alessia.
the waiting room seat is painfully uncomfortable, the plastic cushion coverings making noises that make you feel lightheaded as you squirm in the chair looking for the right angle. there's barely anyone in the hospital which is probably a good thing, the likelihood of waiting a century for a reset and some stitches looking unlikely.
it only takes 10 minutes for a doctor to call your name, the lack of nervousness washing away as you swallowed something that felt similar to a heartbeat and made your way to the door with alessia close behind you.
———————————————————————————
"how long do you plan on studying the precise measurements of your nose?" alessia asks, lips curled into a sweet smile as she laughed at your furrowed eyebrows.
the stitches had gone fine, the doctor recognizing the two of you and making for nice conversation. you'd hardly even realized it had happened, far too focused on maintaining silent eye contact with alessia as she occasionally sent a smile or silly face your way.
the reset of your nose, though bearable in pain, did not go so well.
you were completely convinced your nose was still off center, waiting until the doctor left to lose your mind in hopes to not be rude. alessia had told you everything looked fine and begged you to stay seated for the 30 minute wait time until you'd be released, but of course your refused, grabbing the small hand held mirror from one of the counters and plopping yourself back onto the table to examine yourself.
"i look like i've been punched!" you exclaim, a shaky finger running itself along the outline of your nose as you continued to panic.
"well, you were punched," alessia affirms, laughing again as you send her a dirty glare.
she decides to get up and take the mirror from you, hushing the protests that leave your mouth as she makes quick work of putting the mirror back exactly as it was found.
“i look like alanna when she broke her nose,” your eyes are wide and alessia is laughing so hard she feels a little sick.
“if leah was here she’d agree instead of lying to me like a mother would,” you spit, moving the mirror closer to your face and groaning at your appearance.
alessia rolls her eyes playfully, “your nose looks how it always looks, i promise. you're stressing out over nothing, baby," she says, looking down to her phone and hastily trying to reply to the obnoxious amount of texts asking for updates on you.
you felt like you couldn't move anymore, eyes wide and fixated solely on alessia. a pet name didn't have to mean anything, you knew that. leah called you 'love' all the time, steph called you every name in the book, and kyra even claimed you as her 'pretty girlfriend' any chance she could. you loved it and were always happy to return the sweet words back.
but alessia couldn't share that privilege.
it made your head spin. it made your pupils blow and your heart hammer in your chest. it made your throat close up and threaten to never let you breathe properly again.
you wanted to tell her then and there. if you could time it perfectly the doctor could save you from awkwardness, coming in to assess you. maybe you could call leah to take you home? steph? anyone but alessia?
"i really do think it's crooked," you decide on ignoring all the screaming in your head. it was surely slanted, the bridge pointing to your right further than it had before.
alessia is rolling her eyes yet again from her seat in the chair by your hospital bed, putting her phone into her bag and watching you pout.
"quit being stubborn," she says. "i ought to make you walk all the way back home," her teasing voice is higher than her normal voice, your head, once again, spinning severely out of control.
"leah would come and get me," you say defensively, choosing to give in to the teasing instead of spacing out any longer than you already had. "or kyra, she would definitely come and rescue me from the side of the road."
you're laughing now, the thought of clumsy kyra having to rescue you from the side of the road. it's a good thought and you can only hope to remember to ask her if she'd actually ever be down to rescue you. maybe if you promised her a sleepover, or something stupid like that.
alessia doesn't laugh. hell, she doesn't even smile. you stop altogether as well, messily retracing your steps to catch what had made her mood drop? had she looked at her phone and seen something? you couldn't remember, too focused on your own bullshit to have been looking at her long enough to notice.
"lessi?" you try it softly, begging her to look up at you instead of blankly staring at the floor.
the doctor walks in before you can properly freak out and alessia excuses herself to the restroom. 10 minutes of vitals and care instructions pass before the doctor tells you you're free to go, leaving you to wait for alessia by yourself.
the room is so cold and obnoxiously bright and sterile smelling. it hadn't been noticeable when alessia was around, your mind far too focused on her, or pretending not to be focused on her, to properly take in the fact that you were in a hospital.
another 5 minutes pass before you debate going to make sure she's okay, a text from her saying 'i'm in the car, just come out when you're done' beating you to it. it makes you feel queasy, stomach churning and brain on fire.
you walk slow, not wanting to see her in this newfound upset state. let alone be in the car with her while she was pissed off about whatever it was that had happened. you debated actually calling leah, her contact picture still slotted in your slew of notifications with a text about getting good rest.
you can see her from your stance in the parking lot, her head resting against her hand in the drivers seat of the car. she looked so small in her winter coat, the clothing item nearly engulfing her body into it and leaving a misshapen body behind.
even from here, she was the prettiest girl you had ever seen. even upset, there was no one you wanted and adored more than alessia.
you finally made your way to the car, slotting yourself into the passenger seat and internally fighting with yourself over whether to try and talk to her or just leave her be. she immediately pulls the car out of the lot, exiting onto the highway and putting on her music. you decide to stay quiet, looking out the passenger window and watching all the passing lights of the city.
by the time she pulls up to your apartment you’re nearly in tears from the awkwardness, alessia not saying a word as she put the cat into park.
“have i upset you? because i’m really sorry if i did,” you say, body completely turned towards her as she continues staring mindlessly out the window.
“i know i’ve been a lot today, and i’m sorry. i appreciate all of this so much, i seriously owe you—“
“are you and leah together?”
it was the last thing you expected her to say. the car felt infinitely smaller now, your body shifting uncomfortably in her squeaky leather seats.
“are you joking?” your’e nervously laughing, the thought of being intimate with the other blonde being so wildly wrong it’s funny.
leah was basically your mom with the ways she bossed you around and micromanaged your life. planning out your schedule with you and being your plus one to nearly everything, she was a mere two steps away from being a certified family member turned adult babysitter.
“you’re wearing her coat,” alessia says, eyes staring at the #6 on the arsenal training coat wrapped around your body.
“she offered it to me before we left, i’m confused why you’re interrogating me about leah?” you’re getting defensive, your body pressed against the passenger door as you tried to back away from her.
“i don’t know why i did this,” alessia whispers, shaking her head. “you were vulnerable and i was vulnerable and i thought— i don’t fucking know what i thought, actually.”
you’d never really seen her like this, face completely flushed and hands tightening around the wheel. she looked so angry and the bone in her brow became so prominent you wondered how you’d never really noticed it before.
it was hard to understand what she was going on about, the meds still playing with your head and the anxiety in you making your pain prominent once again.
“i’m really confused right now,” your voice is laced with frustration as you lazily maneuver yourself forward so as to get a better look at her face. “i don’t understand why you’re so upset right now? i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what the hell is going on with you.”
you immediately regret how intense you sound and you force yourself to relax your body, eyes softening as you look at her.
“it’s so dumb,” she whispers, shaking her head.
“it’s not dumb, i promise. whatever it is, it’s okay, just talk to me,” you’re practically begging her, your hand against the side of her seat as you continue intently looking at her.
“i just have this, like,” she laughs and slams her head against the car seat, finally looking towards you. “i have this crippling crush on you and i thought it’d be a good idea to tell you after you were all better for some reason and that fell apart because the way you talked about leah was just so much and then i thought about how close you two were and i noticed the coat and felt stupid for not getting the hint that you were togeth—“
“can i kiss you?”
you don’t think about it, nor do you care that you didn’t think about it. there was nothing to think about. it was just alessia. alessia sitting right next to you, telling you she felt the same— it was the only thing to say.
“you have stitches on your lip,” she whispers, eyes trailing down to the thread and back up to your gaze.
“i’m numbed out of mind,” you remind her, your own eyes fixated on her mouth as you waited for an answer.
you wouldn’t be upset if she said no. you’d be perfectly fine walking inside with absolutely nothing more than what she’d already given you. there wasn’t anything that you could ask for more perfect than this.
she decides not to answer, instead leaning in and gently pressing her lips to your own. the thread is mostly on the inside of your mouth, the rough feeling only slightly making it’s way to alessia’s lips which eases her anxiety.
you hardly move against her, scared to overwhelm her or yourself, desperately trying to confirm if this moment was real or not. but it’s clear she wants more, her hand moving to the back of your neck as she pushes you further against her.
“climb over the middle,” she breathes into your mouth, undoing your seatbelt herself and moving her seat back slightly.
there’s no time to consider anything so you do as your told, climbing over the middle console and sitting yourself on her lap, nervously looking down at her. she’s somehow even prettier up this close, faint freckles littered across her nose and barely there smile lines visible near her mouth.
but there’s no more time for examining because she’s kissing you again, hands roaming to your waist and thighs, squeezing your skin and driving you insane.
to say that you needed more was an understatement, your body practically burning for her. but you still had a headache. and your nose might still be crooked. and you were so tired your legs felt a little wobbly even with your full weight on her.
“do you wanna stay over tonight?” you ask, alessia moving to kiss your neck as you spoke, her warm tongue running up the skin there and causing you to shiver.
she pulls away and you notice how dark her blue eyes had gone, her pupils blown so big you could argue her eyes might be black. “stay as in sleep,” you say, lazily putting your hands on her shoulders.
as if a switch was flipped she gives you the signature sweet smile, nodding up at you and squeezing your waist again playfully.
“not that i don’t want to, you know, but today is just too much for me,” it comes out a little awkward but alessia is already ahead of you, leaning up to kiss you one more time and smile stupidly into your lips.
“we can talk about it all in the morning?” she asks and you nod, moving yourself out of the now open drivers door and stepping out into the cold night. she’s quick to follow, letting you go first and unlock the door.
you barely make it through much of anything, your body almost immediately in bed by the time you’d walked in. alessia is standing awkwardly near you, fingers toying with themselves as she tried to come up with how to ask where she was supposed to sleep.
“you can lay in here with me,” you say. “only if that’s what you want, there’s always the couch.”
she practically runs into bed with you, cozying herself up in the opposite side and laying her face towards you. you smile at each other, basking in the company.
you want to ask her a million things, but you don’t. instead you study her face for as long as you can, falling asleep far quicker than you had meant to.
and you wake up late, for the first time in years. and alessia is laying snug into your side, her body practically radiating heat. and there’s sunlight streaming through your window.
and you’re happy. and your nose, as alessia had promised, was on completely right.
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yangbbokari · 7 months
Text
OT8 SKZ making a bet on you - Hyung Line
Pairing: OT8 SKZ x f!Reader
Genre, AU: angst ofc, lovers to exes!AU
Warnings: cursing, mentions of cheating, many mentions of insecurities. I think that abt it
Summary: you happened to learn one day that the never really loved you and only made a bet with the other members to see if you would fall in love with them
A.N: Not proof read at all and I had this idea pop up inside my head instead of actually finishing my ksm fic
Parts: Maknae line Part 2
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BANG CHAN: You've always trusted Chan with every fiber in you so it was a little unexpected when you just so happened to overhear his phonecall. It wasn't as if you intended to listen to it. But how could you not when you knew he was talking about you.
You were walking by his home studio when you heard him call your name. Assuming that he was calling for you, you almost went in. But, when he continued to talk you figured he was on call. So you stood by the door waiting for him to say some nice words about you. Blushing and smiling in the process. But what you didn't expect to hear was,
"...yeah, I'm not even going to lie, toying with her was hella fun. I won the bet so pay up." You couldn't believe you ears. But you stood there just to see how things would esculate. All you needed was for him to say he loved you. Except, thats not what happened. He just chuckled. CHUCKLED!? "That's what I'm saying! She thinks I'm her protector or whatever. She gets so annoying sometimes and I can't stand it but-"
That was all you needed to hear before bolting out of the house. 7 years of trust, love and bonding down the drain because of some stupid bet. Or maybe you were the stupid one. Stupid for ever believing in his lies in the first place. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LEE MINHO You're currently locked up in a janitor's closet crying to yourself and thinking about how dumb you must've been. There was no warning signs. There was no subtle hints. There was nothing but a lethal bomb ticking off. Ticking off till you completely lost it all.
You thought prom was going to be the best night of your life. That was until you witnessed the most horrific sight.
Minho asked you out to prom during your lunch period unexpectedly. He was one of the most popular boys in school and you were well... a loner. He even offered to take you to dinner to convince you to go with him. But you agreed because this was the dream of like every girl in the school.
He picked you up at 6:30 sharp and drove you to the school. You could barely contain your excitement the entire time. The two of you walked in together but he refused to let you hold his hand. Let alone putting your arm around his. You brushed it off as, "he's not comfortable with it yet." But it was soon discovered that he didn't want to be seen with you at all.
You were enjoying your night but then you excused yourself to the bathroom. When you made it back to the dance floor, Minho was nowhere to be seen. So you went to search for him. You wish you hadn't done that. There he was, in the middle of the science lab, making out with the head of the cheer team. You held you breath as you stood still in the hallway. Still in shock to what you were witnessing. Not to mention what you were hearing.
Minho was saying it with his own mouth and it left you in disbelief. "So, I took that loner girl out to prom. Does that finally win me a chance with you? You know how long I've been waiting for you."
"Don't you think you'll break the poor girl's heart?"
"Oh c'mon! You said if I took that trashy loner to prom then you'd be more than willing to be mine. Please? You already kissed me so it has to count."
Loner girl? That's all you were in the eyes of other people. You should've known sooner. No popular jock would actually ask you to prom. No one would even talk to you. What were you thinking? So you made a run for it to a janitor's closet, making sure no one else was around and sat down, crying to your heart's content. Guess prom wasn't the best night of everyone's life. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SEO CHANGBIN All you wanted was space. Space for a little while. Your heart wasn't ready to feel that and your brain wasn't ready to believe it. You didn't want to believe it. Did he even really love you all these years or were you just a mere joke to him and his friends?
You had just returned from work and saw Changbin sitting on the couch. You gave him the key to your apartment two months after you guys started dating. This marked your fifth month. Changbin was clearly nervous as he turned the rings on his finger and bounced his leg up and down. Slowly, you approached him. "H-hey, Baby. Everything alright?"
His eyes shot up to you and he was sweating from all the nervousness. "Uh, y/n, I didn't hear you coming in! I-I just wanted to talk about something with you. Something very serious." Changbin put on the best stern face he could. With a concerned face, you look at him. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” He looked like he was on the verge of tears. You were concerned but you wanted to hear him out first.
“Whatever I tell you, just remember that I love you very much and what’s coming out of my mouth right now is of the past. So… I actually started dating with you because… because..” He sighed heavily before continued. “…me and the members made a bet to see if I could make you mine and I agreed. B-but I really love y-”
You cut him off not wanting to hear anymore than you already did. “I think I need some space right now.”
“Baby, I- I said I need some space.”
Locking yourself in the bedroom to cry, clenching at the fabric in front of your heart. How could you fall to their game all this time? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HWANG HYUNJIN Movie night went wrong… you guess you could say.
The boys and you were settling down for a movie when you scrolled across “To All The Boys I Loved Before”, when Jisung began laughing.
“Yah! Do you guys remember when we made a bet to see who y/n would fall in love with first.” The chubby cheeked boy said. The rest of them laughed and went along with it until they noticed the silence between the both of you and Hyunjin.
“Wh-what!?” You stuttered out. Tears were streaming down your face by now. “WHAT!?” Confused was the perfect word to describe you in the situation. They all turned to you as Felix asked, “Did Hyunjin not tell you?”
Your head shook as you looked between Hyunjin and the other members. Back and forth, back and forth. You wanted to immediately tear your ears off. Open your head, take your brain out, and erase the horrible memories you had just gained.
Tears blinded your eyes as you ran out of the room and before you knew it, out the house. As you ran you could hear Hyunjin calling your name. But you were too grief-stricken to stop and look back. Maybe you should’ve never came here. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Hope you guys enjoyed. I had this on my mind for like a week and I had to write it down before I lost inspo😭 Lemme know if y’all want a part 2. Maknae line is coming soon though❤️
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bedoballoons · 5 months
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Could I request Kaveh, Alhaitham, Kaeya, and Neuvilette with an s/o who gushes about them 24/7? She'll talk about them in any conversation.
This is such a sweet idea, my brother does this with his girlfriend and I find it so cute! I hope you enjoy and thank you for your request!
─⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂𝔾𝕖𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕟 ℍ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤⊰⁠⊹ฺ🍂
{༻~All about you~༺}
CW: Super sweet and fluffy!
(Includes: Kaveh, Alhaitham, Neuvillette, and Kaeya!)
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
𑁍༄Kaveh:
"Speaking of art, you should see Kavehs sketches of the buildings he's designing. He has so much talent!"
"Kaveh is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for."
By now everyone had heard about him, had listened to you gush over him and talk him up, some had even started to roll their eyes, but you couldn't care less. He was all you could think about and every time he walked in on you complimenting him, you'd see him get all flustered and smiley and you just had to continue.
𑁍༄Alhaitham:
"He's so smart, so handsome. You should see the amount of books he reads and he always lets me snuggle up to him while he's reading."
You could go on for hours, chatting with everyone about him, about your perfect boyfriend who everyone always assumed was only a man with a poor attitude. If only they could see who he really was...the man who would hear your words and find himself longing to be with you in the comfort of your shared home, holding you against his chest and whispering his own words of kindness into your ear.
𑁍༄Neuvillette:
"He's the chief of justice...and one of the most incredible men I have ever met in my entire life."
"There's no one else like him, he's wonderful. Ah sorry I've started talking about him yet again...I just can't help it."
Your heart was just overflowing, everyday was a breeze...every moment a calm loved filled scene right out of the story books, how could you not talk about him every chance you got? You'd even started talking about him to random people you met during your busy day...unaware that so many of your kind words would reach his ears through the Melusines. He'd of course give you all his adoration in return, making sure to tell you just how much he loved you everyday.
𑁍༄Kaeya:
"He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. The way he loves me in unlike anything I could have ever imagined."
"Oh my, what a beautiful conversation to walk into~"
"Kaeya?!"
You'd turn to face him, feeling your cheeks burn with embarrassment as he yet again found you gushing over him...it couldn't be helped really. He'd find it adorable, catching you daydreaming about him to everyone...and he'd wrap his arms around you, place kisses on your cheeks to make you flustered. It was only fair considering how you made his heart race with your kindness
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚~Have a nice day~*⁠.⁠✧
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auspicioustidings · 5 months
Note
https://www.tumblr.com/auspicioustidings/734619885087375360/i-cannot-write-for-shit-right-now-so-any-little
Hmmmm I’m seeing so many x single mom readers and not sure if this is something you’re even interested in BUT
Simon meeting his pretty new neighbor while she’s moving I and realizes she is either a.) heavily pregnant or b.) has a very young baby so Simon goes “hmmmm mine now :)” and helps her out a little? (Alternatively, if you don’t wanna do Simon for this, then maybe Price?)
(Also if you haven’t read @peachesofteal’s Light On fic, Simon x single mom reader, I implore if you to do so!!! It’s so good)
Peaches Light On fics, and I am being so deadass serious, give me such a flood of serotonin any time I see a new one. Everyone get your butt over there because they are the standard for single mother content as far as I am concerned!
That being said, I've put a bit of a twist on this so it's not really what you requested at all, sorry :') I could not do a similar idea to Peaches because there is nothing I can do to improve perfection!
Tactical Action
Words: 1.1k
CWs: mentions of death
“It's not a shame Price, it's fucking ridiculous.”
Simon Riley was furious looking at the paperwork. It wasn't often that TF141 kept tabs on a promising rookie so when they did he expected nothing but excellence. What he did not expect was a large ‘Early Service Leaver’ stamp over an otherwise exemplary record.
“Their brother died in that warship collision, can't blame them for wanting out.”
“My brother was murdered, I kept fucking going.”
He had met you once when Johnny had dragged him. His Sergeant was both excited and annoyed that someone had gotten the new record for the 3rd selection phase. It made sense to get some feel for you then, if you were as good at escape, evasion and tactical questioning as the test scores suggested then the 141 needed to have you on their radar because the PMCs certainly would. 
You were a determined thing, shoulders back and addressing them with just the right amount of respect. Not arrogant, but not a pushover. Soap had been talking about how much he wanted to get his hands on you the whole drive back to base because he was a horny idiot and you were a challenge he found intriguing. Simon had just rolled his eyes and added your record to the small pile in Price's office. 
He knew a little of your background. Both parents gone, one sibling in the navy. Well one sibling now KIA. He could have understood taking leave, but to quit entirely? It made him angry, he thought it was a waste of potential. Price could see how it affected him and he sighed. 
“Go talk to them then. But do not get yourself reported for harassment and intimidation Simon, if they don't want back in then we make our peace with that.”
That was all the permission he needed. He probably should have taken Soap really, someone who could be comforting and coax you back. But fuck it, you were supposed to be good under pressure so he was going to give you some hard damn advice on not bloody giving up.
Exhausted didn't even begin to describe how you felt. This was the hardest thing you had ever done, but you were not going to just give up. You couldn't, not with this tiny thing relying on you. 
She had never even got to meet her parents. Your brother died just before the due date in that accident and then his girlfriend had died from complications in childbirth. You had promised her you would look after their baby if anything happened, made an oath that you'd not let her parents anywhere near such an innocent little thing. 
So you were on your own with nothing but grief and exhaustion and an ever dwindling death in service payment. They would pay part of your brother's pension out each month at least for the baby, but you were terrified that it wouldn't be enough to give her a life she deserved. She certainly deserved her parents and not her fathers ill equipped sibling, but you could only do your best even with the knowledge it would never be enough. 
You flinched when there was a hard knock at the door of your flat, freezing but taking a breath when the baby remained sleeping in your arms. You needed to move at one point you knew, a flat in a bit of a rough area was fine for a soldier (ex-soldier you reminded yourself) but not so much for a baby. 
The security you had upgraded as best you could at the moment and you checked the door camera to see Lieutenant Riley. Ghost. You had met him briefly once, but what was a legend like him doing here? Shit. You knew you looked a wreck but it wasn't like you could ignore him so you opened the door, bouncing baby girl gently to keep her sleeping. 
Simon's planned tirade died the moment he saw the situation. You had a baby. Oh that changed his tirade significantly. Your marital status had listed single, so he could only assume you had gotten yourself knocked up by some casual hookup. That was unacceptable in a soldier, so bloody stupid. 
“Shit” you cursed when she woke up, heading back inside and giving him a nod of invite.
You bounced her and tried to coo at her to go back to sleep. To please God go back to sleep. You never knew what she wanted, it felt like whatever you did was always wrong. And of course then she started wailing and the Lieutenant was in your flat closing the door behind him witnessing your absolute failure to take care of a baby. 
“Oh for Christ sake, give her here.”
Simon took the baby and hoisted the little thing up onto his shoulder, rubbing hard at her back. 
“When was the last time you fed her?”
“I- well, just before you got here. 10 minutes ago maybe? Just got her to sleep.”
“Did you burp her?”
“Oh. I…” you replied, straining yourself in an attempt not to cry. “No. I forgot.”
While his eyes were sharp on you his hands and voice were gentle and soothing for the baby. He was good at this. Did he have kids? Fuck was everyone just innately good at caring for babies but you? 
“Didn't stop to think if you could take care of her before having her?” 
“She's not mine. Well I suppose she is. I'm her only living relative, or only decent one at least. I, um… that warship accident from a few months back. My brother died during it and her mum passed during the birth. I'm her legal guardian now. I'm what she has sir, it was the best tactical action given the circumstance” you said, straightening up despite your exhaustion and prolonged terror at being responsible for such an innocent little thing. 
Simon cocked his head to the side as the baby on his shoulder burped and gurgled, now trying to get back to sleep. You were still a soldier he saw then, you were fighting back your emotions to give him a report on the situation. He reevaluated after the sitrep and took a moment to find the best course of action.
“Marry me then.”
“Sir?”
“We can get it done tomorrow. Might take a bit of time to get a decent house but we'll stay in my flat until then, better area. Still going to be out on assignment a lot but any death benefit would go to you and the widows pension would set you up for life. I'm what you have rookie, it's the best tactical action.”
“Yes sir.”
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gangplanksorenji · 3 months
Text
Kinknuary Day 21: Facefucking
Pairing: Billlie Sheon x Male Reader
Word Count: 5,212
[Kinknuary Masterlist]
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Her semantics was probably not hypocrisy, but rather, sophistication—more so, onto the field of genuine epitomes of everything you can think of and you're not fit for that.
That was disheartening, to say the least because you had the chance but you weren’t proven worthy of it—maybe if you tried a little more you'd draw yourself closer to the promised land. Even with all your might, you might not even succeed and that’s just the tip of the iceberg, because there’s probably more things that you could ever imagine that can even hurt you, and these are two realities: the reality of life and the reality about Sheon herself.
Kim Suyeon, or most probably known as Sheon, is probably the girl you’d really admire and even with the multiple beautiful girls in the university, you just can’t take your eyes off her as she’s something more than what you can think of. 
You, being called as the “university’s heartthrob” can’t even get onto her nerves as she’s one of the few girls that doesn’t even bother to initiate a move or even talk to you, mostly doing the latter if it’s really needed but chances can be even slim to none—note that girls around your university would die just to get to talk to you and you’re probably in their shoes, just with Sheon.
Well, maybe you’re a step closer towards your desired goal: the both of you in a library, probably four seats away from her and just words away from a response from her. Of course, nothing would happen if you would just sit in your chair and skim the pointless texts on the book you’re “reading”, so, wanting to make an acquaintance of a connection to her, you pretended to get another book just behind her as you took a glimpse of what she’s studying, furrowing your eyebrows as you’re piqued on the topic she’s reading.
“Struggling a little bit?” 
“Oh god—” Sheon yelps almost inaudibly, silencing herself from screaming as she’s in a tranquil zone, startled from your actions as you almost giggled because of her adorable demeanor. “—don’t scare me l-like that… I’m fine though, thanks…”
You felt a little faux sincerity on Sheon’s tone, masking her stressed demeanor because of all of the activities and assignments she’s probably into and you feigned little concern because of that.
“Why the deep breaths though?”
“You know, I've been pretty stressed lately…” Sheon lets out another deep breath out, her stress pretty evident as she probably just wants this workload to put on a halt, wanting herself to feel relaxed in the best way possible. “You?”
Well, you didn’t expect to go to this moment—you never expected her to even bother conversing with you as she’s not that type of girl as far as you know. On the brighter side of things, Sheon doesn’t ignore someone just because they find them uncanny or even at their point where she could despise them, she will engage in a conversation whenever possible, but not that invested and you can’t blame her for that. 
Honestly, you would brush these thoughts off considering how everything’s going according to the path you wanted, and you’ll make this worth your while and seize this opportunity.
“Yeah, pretty much the same as you…” You share the same demeanor as hers: stressed and pretty much done with all of the works being battered out to you—half of it are true, since you wanted to be tethered with being in the same shoes as her is hopes of a better connection—as you let out a deep sigh right after, feigning how that weight of emotions are coursing through you. “So many workloads and shit—”
“Hey, language…” Sheon cuts you off with a cute glare visible on her face, not approving of your vulgar choice of words as you apologized because of it, not wanting you to have an atrocious first impression towards this beautiful girl. 
“I’m sorry—stress can really make people the worst version of themselves.”
“Must be having a weak mental, hm?” Sheon muttered a joke about your opinion on how stress can transform people as you laughed a little, feeling the same wavelength of humor as she is and that’s probably another factor on why you’re liking her even more. Of course, as a playful response towards her, you pretended to be offended but addressing those are obviously sarcastic, in a way that Sheon wouldn’t feel any hard feelings that you’re keeping in you and it’s effective, she just silently scoffed, hiding her face a little.
“Don’t be too harsh like that, Sheon.” 
“Hah… Anyways, thanks for a little talk. Feels a little bit good chatting with someone for a while…” Sheon mutters as she feels a little lonely after saying those words and you feel the hint of shock and fluster, mixing up those emotions because of what she's been saying. You feign a little concern in a way that it should have feel a little hard having no one to talk to, or to lean to on these procrastinating days but the other side of your doubts it—your claim earlier is maybe taking over her, she’s not being herself when she’s utterly stressed, or maybe even anyone would lead to that.
“Feeling a little lonely? You don’t seem like it, Sheon—you seem like you have multiple connections around the university…” 
Even with your speculations, Sheon dismisses the fact that she’s even friendly despite her extroverted persona, and more of an approachable person rather than committing to a deep relation of friendship. 
Maybe this is time to probably change those tracks of hers with your own moves.
“No, Sheon—you really look like one. I’d never thought you were like this…”
“Well, it depends—” Sheon closes the book she’s been reading for a while now as she averts all of her attention towards you, looking deep into your eyes as her adorable countenance really puts you into a mode of panic as you can’t maintain that eye contact to her for that amount of period of time. “—I do like, love talking with someone when they seem interesting to me…” Sheon loses her gaze towards you as she feels a little shy because of your endearing stare from time to time, before staring at you again and uttering these words: “And a great example of that would be  you.”
Your heart instantly dropped once she let go of those words, making every speculation and your thoughts take a step further, entering reality and off with the imaginative nature it has been. You didn’t let her know about what you’re feeling in order for the atmosphere not to be brushed off on its elevating wholesomeness as you just act like you’re shocked—you’re indeed perplexed as you didn’t expect Sheon to really say that to you, directly, let along her doe, lovely eyes saying all of that with sincerity coming right from her heart.
“M-Me? How am I—”
“Hey…” You completely lost it when Sheon placed her hand onto yours, completely containing all of your emotions inside as you’re flustered because of her affectionate advances towards you. She caresses her fingers onto your hands  as she interrupts you from uttering more words, wanting to reassure you about how she’s genuine about it. “I meant it and also, you seem a pretty nice guy, too…”
You don’t know if she’s playing a game with you as you clearly know that this isn’t the Sheon you know—maybe that’s the case, you vaguely even know anything about her so you could never be so sure—but you will take any chances even and this, is a great example of it.
Of course, Sheon is not going to be done as she’s still muttering about you—
“I knew you liked me, and you don’t need to tell me about that, anyways.” Tugging your collar, she inches herself towards you as she whispers in your ear and continues, “This might be the moment we can discover more about ourselves, hm?” 
Before you could utter a word, Sheon pulls your collar out where no one could the both of you, the subtle movement of the chair breaking the peaceful ambiance the library has been emanating as Sheon winces, noticing that someone may have noticed but luckily, no one had. Also, before you could hear her talk, you noticed two girls in the distance just on the other side of the library, looking at the both of you and visibly giggling. You’re not oblivious and saw Sheon stealing glances on them too so you know something is fishy out here, and you will break the code whenever possible.
“Who are those girls at the distance, hm?”
“Nothing, they’re just—”
“Maybe stop lying to me, Sheon—” You then grab her wrists gently as she whimpered a little, overpowering her with no effort as your eyes demanded the truth from her and with her soft heart, she wouldn’t afford lying to you in any case.
“Okay, they’re my friends and that’s why I want to pull you here so that they can’t see us.” 
Your eyebrows furrowed as you feel a strange presence between this and you’re not liking it because your speculations may be true—maybe they just set you up here just for a reason and that alone will break you apart if that’s true. “And why are they laughing at us, hm? What’s happening here, Sheon?”
So many questions, so little time—you won’t brush this off and let them get away with this because you demand a serious answer uttering her lips. A visible gulp can be seen being done by Sheon as she looks directly into your eyes, letting her endearing look make you calm down a little as both your firm grips (mostly from Sheon’s) are still evident against each other.
“Okay, they dared me to go and make you hit up on me—”
“So all of this isn't sincere, then?” You didn’t let her finish as her poor choice of words infuriates you a little bit and with a sympathetical approach from Sheon, she didn’t want this to turn atrociously.
In all honesty, the words she said earlier are all true and you can see the sincerity with her tone or her pretty pupils dilating. It was surprising for a girl like Sheon to like you not because of how you look but how you approach people and make them dearly comfortable and with that element, she likes that about you—if you wonder why, she may have seen you a lot of times with your down-to-earth heart being easy-going and sympathetic, then maybe that’s why she enlightened herself not be that harsh on you and saw the light.
Maybe her soft-hearted personality can melt your heart like butter and starting off with her stare, you would find yourself getting closer to that.
“I waited for this moment too, honestly just to say this.” Sheon knows you’ll throw another pointless banter again and she’s just going to get annoyed with it and to deal with that would take a step further that no one can ever imagine. She shuts your mouth with a kiss that caught you off-guard but with her floral scent and her falling under her spell makes you reciprocate onto her with more aggression, but a gentle approach as you don’t want to hurt her or makes things too fast in any way—maybe you can dismiss that latter part since she’s the one who made everything a step ahead of what you’re thinking. The softness and the sweet, luscious taste of that citrus lip balm makes you indulge onto a deeper kiss as you do so, making Sheon inevitably run her hands onto the back of head, tugging your hair tightly as she’s succumbing to her needs too. Knowing that the both of you are still publicly in a library, you immediately pulled out of her lips’ warm embrace as the both of you exchanged breaths, feeling the pumping rush of adrenaline making the both of you invigorated.
“So, a-all of that—hah, are sincere?”
Sheon’s lips quivers, unable to comprehend the affectionate event that just happened as she nodded and silently responded to you, “Y-Yes it is…”. It didn’t even take a lot of time for her to initiate another move, as she tugs on your collar and with no absolute way of fighting or retaliating her actions, you just simply followed her as she directs you onto an empty space in the library where no one can even bother to see you, or even cameras capturing that place.
“Was this all part of a deal with them, Sheon?”
Sheon scoffs as she places her arms onto your shoulders, staring deeply on your eyes as she’s utterly serious about this. “Maybe—more likely a dare but all of these are sincere because I indeed like you~”
Oh, her soft tone is enough for your ears to melt let alone her stare which could allure you into loving her even more and you’re in the verge of that—you might vent out your frustrations towards her but Sheon’s calm and angelic façade is making it a hindrance for it to be successful and it’s working too well against you. With her touch making your heart skip a beat, you know it wouldn’t take long before you fall in love with her truly as her aura is strongly making you fall under spell, her attractiveness actually making you succumb onto your deepest desires towards her and you’re trying to contain anything you could to have a composed disposition.
“Are you trying to hit on me, Sheon?” Your smirk lets her know how you’re likely to play the game and absolutely love this side of hers and honestly, you’re even in shock at how her demeanor instantly changed—you’re now maybe turned on to the fact that Sheon’s turning the tables against you, and with her captivating smirk, you know things will take on another level. 
“Yes, maybe I am and also—I’ve been wanting to do something lately…” Sheon runs her fingers on your chest, her nails tracing circles around your clothed skin as you know how it’s a sign of utter need from her and most of all, persuasion. It’s the building anticipation that needs to kick in to you to further ignite that aspiring wants living within you, waking the hibernating beast inside you and ending its warm slumber and she’ll do everything that takes her and you can see it burning in her eyes—those passionate, ardor-filled eyes in aims to make you feel with the same wavelength as hers: full of inner lust and greed.
“Mind sharing what's that, Sheon?”
With her mischievous and hubristic expressions, it wouldn’t take long before she spills what would be that desire of hers that she’s been longing for and with her fingers gently touching your chin and averting your eyes towards her, Sheon mutters such profanities you wouldn’t know that’ll come out of her mouth. “To suck off a man like you.”
You’re perplexed for another time as you didn’t expect an angelic girl like Sheon such sinful things but here you are, hearing everything loud and crisp and god, it’s always turning you on whenever such a saccharine, soft-toned voice tingles your ear—you’re loving this moment yet you still can’t brush off the fact that it all came out of her mouth and it’s straightforward.
In all honesty, you may or may not succumb to your carnal needs while thinking about her because everytime you feel like it, she’s the perfect girl to fantasize about because she might have everything you really need in a girl—petite frame, little waist with visible abdominal muscles, porcelain skin, plump lips, beautiful face and maybe even more than what you could think of. There’s maybe a hint of possible hesitation with Sheon’s propositions but knowing how sincere and how everything will go on a great pace of things, you wouldn’t consider putting onto wounds of that and rather, succumb onto your desires as much as hers.
“Since when you wanted this, Sheon?”
Sheon just fluttered her eyes at you as she laughed a little as her sinister smirk just ignited the lustful atmosphere that’s starting to emanate and with that, you would like her to do the honors on starting this possibly spectacular show. 
“A while ago, honestly and also, I won’t just be going to suck you off…” Her sultry voice tempts you onto her sinful actions as she kneels down in front of you, facing your crotch and then looking up at you with those endearing eyes begging for your approval. “You’re going to fuck my face so, are you good with that?”
You wouldn’t think a girl like Sheon would be this impatient and straightforward towards you, actually the fact that she’s this needy for you is puzzling since the both of you barely knew each other but had the same desires towards each other which fuels the anticipating sin you’re about to engulf into.
“Was this part of the deal or dare you and your friends made up?”
“Not this time…” Knowing how her words are laced with impatience, she tugged the hem of your pants and started to unbutton it, wanting to see what could be the feral bast you are packing. You can see a hint of nervousness from her hands, a little tremble is evident that’s why you came up with that conclusion but it didn’t stop her from discovering you and with your defenses coming down one by one leisurely, you’re just mentally preparing yourself on what she’s about to showcase you, or most likely, what you can showcase her. Now with just your boxers remaining as the last bit of defense on your nether area, you let out small, ragged breaths once she teased her fingers onto your semi-erect length, making sure it’ll be in a full mast before uncovering your wonderful length to her and it wouldn’t take long before it grows gradually fast. Now, knowing how impatient the both of you are at this moment, Sheon won’t tease you more as she brings your boxers down with one, swift motion as gravity did the rest, now resting those clothes onto your ankles. Sheon’s awe lit in excitement and awe as she analyzes every inch of your cock that she’s always been longing for and now that she has the full control of it, maybe it’s time for her to fully unlock the potential of her long-awaited fetish.
“Wow, it’s wonderful to see it like this—ohh…” Sheon circles her tongue all over swollen head, and then lapping the profound liquid coming out of your slit, savoring every drop that you create. She kisses every part of your shaft as she worships it like it’s some kind of god she’s made to be a follower for and maybe, it’s going to be on that way because on how aggressive she’s peppering your shaft with kisses, alongside the needy licks that made you shudder in response because of her incredible oral masterclass between your legs. Her warm hand palming your thighs makes you feel reassured as an addition to the sudden pleasure you’re experiencing and it’s an elevating experience and god, you might just want to further dig in to your deepest, sexual desires on fucking that slutty throat of Sheon’s even more.
“Must’ve practiced a lot, hm?”
Sheon continues slurping onto your succulent shaft as she pulls out after a few more seconds, the glossy texture of it becoming evident with her subsequent drool and the light that has been emanating above. “Y-Yeah… I’m sorry if i-it’s not that good—”
“Not good? No, Sheon—keep doing that because it’s amazing.” You don’t know if it’s the sudden gratification you’re feeling that’s why you can’t formulate a meticulous judgment or just the hint of hypocrisy within you but nonetheless and factually-speaking, Sheon’s doing a great job on your throbbing length yet you can’t brush off the fact of her off-rhythmical bobs and her teeth making your wince in a bit of pain and all you can say is that she’s a natural at this.
“Practiced a little on my toys, that’s why—also, let me just get this wet…” Sheon continues her oral masterclass as she bobs onto almost the entirety of your shaft, lathering it will her saliva and to further taste and inhale that musky scent of yours she’s now loving wholeheartedly. Knowing this may be enough, Sheon pulls out not without strings of saliva adding up to the mess she’s starting to create and with a single sentence, it’s enough for you to prepare yourself on what you can showcase to her. 
“You sure you want me to do this to you?”
“I wouldn’t want it unless I said it, right?” Sheon has a valid point and with her further confirmation, you know you should do the unthinkable and probably, this will be the craziest day you’re going to be having for a while. You don’t even know it all escalated this quickly, leading up to this lustful moment but you won’t complain and of course, you need to silence yourself and be swift because you’re risking both your reputations if you get caught. With Sheon’s initiation of your hands making such makeshift pigtails on her hair, it wouldn’t last long before you position yourself in front of her with your length just mere centimeters from touching her plump lips and when you pull the trigger, all let loose and suddenly, you’re in heaven.
All you can just feel is the warmth and the softness of her walls engulfing your cock and hugging it tightly as she hollowed her cheeks with your leisure pace, and with the sweat dripping on her face and her drool seeping out of her mouth, you know you got to up the ante. Sheon encourages you so, and with that green light by hers, it’s time for a ruthless treatment as you brushed off the foreplay and immediately mustered a moderate pace, her face constantly getting rammed by your length as your leverage on her hair was incredibly great that you could adjust at any time you want. With even more than half of your length constantly plunging in her pleasurable mouth, she can’t help but gag uncontrollably as your cock is becoming way too much for her to handle but she would go over the limits and raise the risks for a better reward. You constantly pump your hips onto her mouth like it’s her possibly tight pussy, each thrust aiming to send her limits into the extremes and to further wring out the finest gratification possible.
Maybe she’s getting too ahead of herself as her ego commands her to take more but she can’t and with that, she inevitably pulls out of you and gasps uncontrollably.
“Are y-you alright, Sheon? I mean if you can’t handle it—”
“I c-can take it—continue fucking my mouth, p-please…” Sheon’s tone is full of need and desperation and with her sight of wanting her needs to be fulfilled, you can’t let the opportunity fade away but the other side of you have sympathy, not wanting to continue this if she’s going to struggle but she wanted this, and all of this are in her own accord.
Maybe you just need to fight through that mental battle you’re constantly enemies with, and let your carnal desire win, just in this moment you can’t refuse—
“Come on—glwk—hmmp!!”
The devil inside ascends to its true form, and with the lust blinding you, you succumb to your deepest needs and plunged her mouth with your cock and constantly rammed her mouth like it’s a fleshlight. Maybe Sheon’s throat is built with your cock to be constantly rammed on, like a cocksleeve that will always be attended whenever possible and god, the sight is just getting sinful and hotter—Sheon’s disheveled hair and her sullied face emanates the greatest sin you’ve witnessed, far from her adorable, sophisticated aura earlier as she becomes a victim of her own needs, taking your in fully as that alone makes you delightful, and it’s just the paramount of bliss. Her constant gags didn’t let herself back off to your constantly-ramming length as she even uses this in order to encourage you with a better treatment of roughness towards her slutty mouth and with that, you won’t disappoint her let alone hold back against anything.
You’re not the man you are today, but rather, the primal and the starving one—all hungry for her mouth to be fucked into oblivion and ruin this beautiful girl in front of you until she’s a sullied mess. You try and keep your tone almost deaf to anyone’s ear that could be possible eavesdropping on this suspiciously lustful activity and let Sheon’s gags reverberate around the small spot in the library. The thought of the risk of being caught makes everything a thrill as you hold her hair like it’s your last, ramming into her mouth until she can’t take it anymore and suddenly, she tapped your thigh repeatedly, wanting to give herself a little break from your rough and reckless treatment onto her warm cavern.
“Gahh—s-shit, that w-was good… hah, I w-want more, please…” Sheon begs her glistening eyes as her sullied visage is turning you on so much that you wanted to add the mess on her face with your own seed but you’re getting too ambitious, and maybe, it wouldn’t be long before you could even achieve that.
“Mind your language, Sheon.”
“No—please, it d-doesn’t matter right now. Just please…”
Not wasting any time and fulfilling her needs, she takes your cock in her mouth again as you held onto her hair and instantly, you mustered high-paced thrusts as she instantly gagged on the spot, yet takes your whole length like a champ and with that, you continued pounding her mouth in the point of no-return but with all you can give. Copious amounts of drool seeps out of her mouth with your current pace as the constant slapping of your balls at her chin lets her know how wild the pace is and how it arouses her onto the roof and with that sight, she’s loving this even more. Sheon held a tight grip onto your thighs with your ridiculous pace as she maintained her profound eye contact to you, begging you for more as the glint on her eyes even makes that beast inside of you capable of having no mercy against her.
If that’s what she’s been wanting you to treat her, then so be it.
“Look how slutty you look right now, Sheon—god, if you just see yourself right now, then you’ll damn know.”
She can envision what she looks like by the things that’s suddenly happening right now but she wouldn’t bother because all of her attention is towards your ramming cock, drilling the depths of her throat and bound to make it to the point that everything would be precarious to be tolerated—maybe Sheon just wants to get totally ruined and you would treat her as such. Knowing how your cock is constantly throbbing in her mouth and your silenced moans of need, Sheon knows something is going to be near soon and she’ll cherish it ultimately on her capabilities. She fucks her face further in tandem with your thrusts, bobbing her mouth furiously as the trajectory of your actions results in a greater quality of pleasure and you’re absolutely loving every second of this.
Knowing Sheon is helping you to achieve your own high, you admire it as her clever mind made up for that decision as you double your efforts onto your thrusts, chasing something that will elevate you for the rest of your day and it wouldn’t be that long before it comes.
Might count to ten and you know you wouldn’t pass six because it just went all in a state of bliss.
Shockwaves of immense gratification coursed in every vein of your body, resulting in a state of bliss as your frequent release of profanities was enough of an evidence. Your option to further arouse yourself and to elevate the lustful atmosphere of the area, you bury your entire shaft onto her slick, tight throat as she constantly gags on it but nonetheless, wants every spurt of your delectable seed being deposited right into her walls and down to her stomach—most likely, she’ll choke on it and would try to swallow it whole and with that, you’d love see her try. Allowing herself to get a breather and to let herself be free of her constant gags, you pulled your length out as streams of saliva becomes unshackled, staining everything on its vicinity and like what you expected, she choked on your cock as she tries to savor the seed you gave her and with her undeniably surprising skills, she managed to gulp them all as your healthy, creamy load are now in her stomach. She coughed a little because of your harsh actions against her mouth but there’s nothing to be held against you, not even a hint of grudge and for the optimistic part, she even liked her throat getting pounded into oblivion and she thanked you for that.
“That’s n-nothing much, Sheon—wow, your m-mouth, it’s incredible…” There’s nothing much to say when she's clouded your brain to the point that it all became fried, unable to articulate such words and stuttering becoming evident.
“Thanks t-too—for t-the load, hah… that was rough…”
An evident concern feigns your face as you feel the hint of uneasiness with your earlier treatment but as expected, she reassures you about that because she wanted it in the first place and that alone, makes your mind in a clear space of relief. She licks her tongue as she lets you know you are grateful she is with your load and not so long after, you thanked Sheon with her incredible masterclass and an incredible mouth to derive pleasure with.
Helping her stand up with your hands, she thanked you with that hint of a gentlemanly approach and thank god no one saw the both of you yet Sheon is muttering something, and it's clearly making your interest piqued and it’s maybe just going to get better than this.
“Maybe meet me later at the cafeteria at 5 P.M. because we got to talk about something.”
Your eyebrows feign innocence as she deepen her captivating stare towards you, still finding it endearing and cute even with the sullied mess she had indulged herself into. “Maybe something like, starting a better connection between the both of us but that would be for later, gotta see my friends for now, bye!”
Maybe it all went like a flash, and everything escalating too fast wasn’t on your list but you won’t complain.
You wouldn’t know what she would have in store for you later but there’s a single thing you damn know where this will go: Sheon is going to be yours and you’re just living the fantasy you’ve been dreaming on and now, it’s just within your reach and only time will tell about this.
Such a horny freak, but I love it—I love him…
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runningfrom2am · 5 months
Text
leveling the playing field IX
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summary: with nowhere else to go after getting caught cheating to help lucy gray, you both make some desperately stupid decisions.
pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader
wc: 2.6k
tags/warnings: capitol brat!reader, maybe slightly ooc coryo, idk i tried my best. do they love each other or hate each other? who knows (we do, kind of). implications and mentions of abuse, so read with caution!! also a little bit of swearing but that's neither here nor there
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a/n: here we are!! 'season' two!! thanks so much for reading it and I'm SO so glad lots of people seem to love it :) if you do, please reblog it or leave your thoughts in the replies or in my inbox! i love hearing from you and talking about it so don't be a stranger !
without further adieu,, enter buzzcut coryo <3
next part
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Coriolanus's stomach twisted as he could hear your screams from the hall, even though by then he was all the way on the other side of the school. He thought that was unsettling, only for them to abruptly stop just before he left. The silence that followed was so much worse. He didn't get any sleep, sitting on the roof in Grandma'ams rose garden with Tigris all night, wondering if you were dead.
He was just sick about it, even as he left the following morning, so early that the sun was yet to rise. It was a long, painful ride, and he spent the entire thing certain that you were dead. It was his fault, he had only wanted you to come with him, so he wouldn't be alone, but now he truly is alone and he won't even have you to write to back home. Regardless, he would try.
Rather than sit with the idea that it might even be pointless for him to live another day, especially with this unflattering haircut and a uniform that challenged the discomfort of the academy one, he decided to write to you on a paper he had found bunched between the train seats to ease his mind.
Y/N/N,
I hope you're reading this. I hope this gets back to you at home and finds you safe and sound, and you're sitting over your desk with a textbook open getting ready for university in the fall. That's not what's happening though, is it? You're probably dead. I probably killed you. If you are reading this in your room, or your library, or over my shoulder as I write this because you are only alive in what's left of your spirit, I hope you know that I am sorry. I did it because I wanted you with me, because in the moment I was so sure you'd be better off with me in the districts than you would be at home with your father. I think I was wrong. But I still miss you. You meant more to me than I ever told you. I guess, more than I ever told myself either until these last few weeks.
I think I heard them kill you after I left you with the Dean. If they did, boy, did you go out fighting. I always knew you would. I can't stop writing in case I never get to speak to you again. But again, maybe you're not dead, right?
Please tell me you're not dead.
Yours,
Always yours, your Coryo
He smoothes out the wrinkled sheet as he writes, hand shaking through most of it. He doesn't know if he should even bother sending it, or if he should just fold it up and throw it out the window in hopes that the message will find its way to your ghost. No, he has to send it. Otherwise he'll definitely never know, at least not for twenty years, and he couldn't bear that.
The wind hits the trees into the windows of the train as it rolls along the tracks, demanding that the branches be heard against the glass. It reminds him of you. Then again, what doesn't these days? Maybe it was just you letting him know you had read his letter, and that you forgive him. That would give him a semblance of peace for the rest of the ride.
When you woke up, it was impossible to tell what time it was. You only knew that it was dark, and your bedroom door was locked from the outside when you got up and carefully tried to open it only to be blocked by the mechanism.
"I have half the mind to agree with you on the Avox thing." You hear your dad sigh, his voice echoing from his study just down the hall. Your eyes widen and you try the knob again. Yep, still locked. "But we could always send her to Nine or Ten as a nurse. She's not staying here, that's certain."
"I don't want to push your decision, here, but she was saying she would tell everyone. She knows more than we thought, more details." Highbottom was here too, great.
"No, that's impossible. What did she say?"
"She knows we're selling, likely that you're storing it all here somewhere, and she knows it's enough to be treason. I don't know what else she knows, but it's risky business ever letting her out of that room again. The procedure might be our best option, here." You've heard enough, quickly making for your window instead. It's locked as well, but draping your old uniform over the lever gives you enough freedom to crush it with a particularly heavy, hardcover textbook without making much noise.
You change quickly, grabbing a few essentials that you could fit into your book bag, then climb out the window and slide down the back porch column before making as quiet of an escape as possible. Adrenaline carried you a few blocks away, but now, you were unsure what to do. You couldn't return, and you couldn't be seen, and you had a tragic shortage of friends at the moment. You find your feet carrying you toward the building you know Coriolanus lives in.
You're not particularly excited to see him, but with no other options, you're sure you can find it in yourself to be forgiving just this once. You could go to Sejanus's family home, but it's not far enough away, and you're not sure what his father would say. He'd probably call your dad in a second and it would all be for naught- you couldn't risk it. So, Coryo's it was.
You enter the building, walking straight for the elevator. He was in the penthouse, so you just have to hit the very top button and figure it out from there. You've never been to his home before, but he's talked about it plenty. Enough that you could find your way there, at least.
You groan when you quickly realize the elevator doesn't work, looking over at the stairs. It's a tall building, so you've got a long way to go. You wonder how he does this every day as you climb up set after set of stairs, taking note of how the walls are basically crumbling around you.
You knew he didn't have money, that he couldn't eat, but you didn't think he lived like this. No wonder he was so thin, and no wonder he still had any muscle left on his body. It was these damn stairs. That couldn't be it though, that wouldn't explain how his shoulders just seemed to go on for miles- maybe he had some kind of workout routine you never knew about.
You're drawn from your thoughts when you reach the top of the last staircase, hesitating to open the industrial looking door in front of you. Just beyond that was the front door to the Snow penthouse, and now that you're here, you're not sure what to do. Do you knock? You don't even know what time it is.
You sit by the door, deciding to think it over for a bit. It doesn't take you long to fall asleep leaning up against the wall where it meets the dusty floor.
Waking up, you're met with a gasp. "Y/N?" You blink open your eyes, seeing Tigris crouched in front of you, forehead creased with worry. "Are you okay? What are you doing here?"
"Tigris, hello." You mumble, gathering yourself to stand up as she helps you. "I, uh, I didn't know where to go, so..."
"Okay, okay. Come in for a second." She nods, holding your shoulder as she guides you back into the apartment. You squint at the sunrise through the large bay windows, she must have been on her way to work. "Can I get you anything? Some tea? You must be freezing..." She says, immediately shuffling into the kitchen.
"No, no. It's fine. Thank you, though." You insist, trying not to stare at the state the apartment has fallen into.
"Okay, well, please, take a seat. Tell me what's going on."
You nod slightly and move to sit down at their dining table where she joins you, reaching out for your hand which you gratefully take. "Did Coriolanus leave already?" You ask and she nods, giving you a sad smile.
"I must admit, I'm relieved to see you." She says, taking you by surprise. "Coryo thought you were dead. He was just so torn up about it, he said it was his fault but he wouldn't tell me why. I was expecting to see your passing in the papers this morning."
"Well, my days are numbered." You sigh, looking out the window again. The view was stunning. Maybe you would prefer a penthouse to your own large, empty feeling home. "My father and Dean Highbottom were discussing turning me into an Avox as a pity punishment, and I don't doubt that my father would rather bury me than have that on his name. I didn't stick around to hear their decision."
Tigris listens intently, squeezing your cold hands between her own. "And now, I don't know what to do. I had nowhere to go, I'm so sorry to intrude-"
"No, my goodness, please. You are always welcome here." She assured you. "But... what will you do?"
"I have to leave." You nod to yourself. "I have to leave and I can't come back, can I?"
"One day I'm sure it will be safe for you to return." She says, notably trying to put a positive spin on it. "I'll tell you what-" She stands quickly, going over to a hall closet and pulling out a large fur coat. "Take this, it can hide you and keep you warm. Take the next train to Twelve, that's where Coryo went." She places the coat in your lap. "He'll be ecstatic to have you and see that you're well."
You nod, standing up and pulling it on in a hurry. It was a beautiful coat, you could tell it was real fur. This must have belonged to one of their mothers. "Thank you, Tigris."
"There's another train headed there in about twenty minutes, if you rush you can make it. I had to check the schedule last night for him. Don't buy a ticket, just climb in a transport car from the opposite side, not the platform." She instructs you hurriedly,
You dig in your bag as you both head for the door, pulling out a handful of money and rifling through it to give some to her. You'll need some, but she will too.
"Here, Tigris. Take this." You say as she holds the door for you, and she instantly is shaking her head.
"No, no. I couldn't." She smiles awkwardly, waving a hand at you. "You'll need it more than I do, Coryo will be sending us cheques."
You smile at her understandingly, holding it out to her again. "If not for your help, then for this lovely jacket. Please take it. I insist."
Tigris sighs, taking it from your hand before pulling you into a hug which you gladly return. "Tell him we love him, okay?"
"He knows," You say, chin resting on her shoulder. "But I will."
It was dark again when your train reached its final stop, and you were curled up under the coat trying to sleep. You scramble to get up, having to bolt from the train before anyone came to unload the car.
Unfortunately, you didn't get the privilege of having a place to stay when you arrived, so once you're out of sight of the train, the best you can do is wander.
You don't have to wander long before you hear music. You didn't realize people were happy here, so the sounds of laughter and shouting and dancing coming from inside what looked to be an abandoned building made you tilt your head at the idea. Maybe you would just sit outside, around the side of the building where you won't be seen and you can listen.
You don't even get the chance to sit before you hear the singing start. It's Lucy Gray. You mentally scold yourself for not thinking of her sooner as you stand again quickly, finding yourself quite lightheaded. You must be hungry. Maybe there will be some food inside, or maybe you can find talk to Lucy Gray and maybe she'll let you stay with her. Just until you get yourself situated here.
Clutching your new coat tightly around yourself you walk in after attempting to dust off and salvage your clothes. Your favourite skirt and shoes took quite a beating throughout the day, and you're disappointed, to say the least. Hopefully Lucy Gray has a washing machine, but you doubt it. Did these people even know what a washing machine is? By the look of everyone in the room, the answer was a definite no.
Sure enough, Lucy Gray was on stage, singing her heart out. You had never seen her smile so wide, of course, and the kids surrounding her onstage were just as talented as she was at all their instruments. You've never seen live music like this before, only classical or opera where everyone sat quietly and listened until the end. This environment was entirely new to you.
Not wanting to interrupt, you wait until Lucy Gray steps offstage and her spot is replaced with a little blonde girl who couldn't have been older than ten.
"Give it up for the amazing Lucy Gray Baird!" The girl shouts into the mic, gesturing to your friend before more music started to play. "She'll be back, she's just taking a little break, but until then, you lot are stuck listenin' to me."
This is your chance. You push through the crowd and step into the hall you saw Lucy Gray go down. "Lucy Gray?" You call out hopefully, watching your step as to not roll a heel. In hindsight, these shoes were not ideal for the journey you took, but your options were limited by a time crunch.
"Lucy Gray?" You ask again, turning a corner and peeling into a large open room. It's a few moments before your eyes land on her, and she turns to face you having heard you walk in.
"Oh my days, I thought I recognized that voice!" She smiles, opening her arms and running up to you. "Y/N, my word, what are you doin' here?" Her excitement fades quickly into concern as she drops her arms from around you.
"Long story..." You chuckle nervously, pulling at your coat again as she nods for you to continue. "We got caught, for the compact. And the snakes, somehow. Coriolanus put our handkerchiefs that you used in the tank so they wouldn't attack you, I guess. I didn't know. Then they pulled us out of class the next day, he told them it was me, so then I put up a fight and they sedated me. When I woke up I was at home and they were talking about having my tongue cut out and turning me into one of those servants but I'm sure my dad would rather have me dead. So," You sigh, trying to summarize it as quickly as possible. "I ran."
Lucy Gray shook her head, mouth agape in shock at all the information she just took in. "Okay, wait... So they were going to kill you?"
You nod.
"But that teacher of yours seemed so nice."
"Sorry?"
"Yeah, he gave me some money and escorted me into the train himself."
You scoff, shaking your head. "He's never liked either of us, but that's only because I have dirt on him. I don't know what Coryo did."
"Well," Lucy Gray sighs, rubbing your shoulders gently. "I'm glad you're here. That you're safe."
"You too." You smile. "Can I just say, too, we were so proud of you. We were so lucky to be your mentors."
"I count myself the lucky one." She grins. "Let's move on, shall we? On the up and up."
"Yes, sounds lovely." You grin at her.
"Can I get you some water? Liquor? What do you need?" She asks, turning at that and going over to a bench in the middle that had a few water bottles.
"I would love some water." You breathe out, joining her and sitting down as she hands one to you.
"Lucy Gray, could I ask you for a really big favour?" You say after taking your first sip.
"Please." She nods.
"Can I stay with you?"
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nnight-dances · 8 months
Text
CHERRY-FLAVOURED
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PAIRING: choi seungcheol x f!reader (ft. kwon soonyoung & kim mingyu)
GENRE: fluff, angst
TROPES: small town au!, exes to lovers, jealousy, idiots in love, fake dating (w/ soonyoung), you own a small bookstore and i never mention what seungcheol does (but just know he's rich).
RECOMMENDED: reading ADORABLY, YOURS before this, since this is the same seungcheol and i make a few references to what happened there.
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"Oh, did you hear? Seungcheol's back in town!" Nayeon calls out with a lopsided smile she thinks is inconspicuous. You think it's obnoxious. 
But you don't let her know how much the news bothers you, pretending to instead by absorbed in currently trying to get your hair to sit right in a ponytail. "Sure," you reply, not breaking eye-contact with yourself in the mirror. 
Your roommate quickly catches though because she appears by your shoulder in the mirror, eyes narrowing. "Right. And you're fine with it?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" you mutter, devoting every fibre of your being to make your tone stay flat.
"I don't know, the way you've been working on this ponytail for the past fifteen minutes had me thinking otherwise," she shrugs, "And the fact that it still looks like shit from the back."
You scoff in offense, "All my baby hair makes it real hard to do this, okay!" But Nayeon's already making her way back to the kitchen to finish her breakfast with a teasing giggle and you watch her in dismay, wondering if not only your hairstyle but also your acting had really been that bad.
And as you spin around to face your reflection, you figure that the general bad-ness of your life might have something to with Seungcheol's return to town after all. Not that you would ever admit it, for many reasons. But mainly because of the fact that he's your ex-boyfriend. 
You liked to think you'd ended things with him on a good note– there hadn't been too many tears or screams and you still would catch up with him whenever you ran into him, an occurrence that was basically inevitable given how small your town was. But ever since he'd left on trip to visit his much-famed best friend, Jeonghan, you'd finally gotten around to thinking about why you were still single despite having left a long-term relationship for over a month.  
…Which led to a series of messy first dates with the few tolerable men in town who would otherwise have you cringing at the thought of talking to them. And well, actually going out with them convinced you your first impressions were always right and your intuition was all-knowing. 
– 
Meet Soonyoung, the man who would almost unmistakably come around asking for gum in your store. Your bookstore. 
You couldn't figure out if it was a honest fault of his personality or if he was doing it to annoy you– until one afternoon you found it was something much worse: he was flirting with you.
"Y/N, your hair looks cute today," he's telling you through a grin right now. You look away from the computer screen where you've been logging the new stock of books in, ready to tell him thanks and that you needed to hear that since your beloved roomate insulted you this morning. You don't get around to saying all that because you spot a figure entering the store behind Soonyoung, where he's leaning on the counter with his hands under his chin. He thinks he's slick but you know it's so he can show off his arms. 
You've forgotten all about Hoshi and his boyish charms because you notice the new customer is none other than the recent arrival to town, Seungcheol. 
You hate the way you can feel your heart skip a beat at the revelation so you quickly turn your head back to your screen. "Thanks, Soonyoung."
Thankfully, Hoshi doesn't seem to notice the stiffness of your clipped response and instead is distracted by a stack of plastic-wrapped books. 
"Wow, you sure have a lot of new stock coming in these days, huh?" 
You nod, still not looking away from the screen. "Yeah, I've been working on keep the shelves up to date with the new releases. I'm sick of people using the feedback box to curse me out for still placing the classics out front."
You hear a snort then and you immediately recognize it as not Soonyoung's. 
"You'd think that's how the feedback works, no?" 
Slowly you turn to look at him in the eyes, unsettled by the playful glint you find there. "...Can I help you?" you ask quietly, keeping your tone cordial but not too warm. Hoshi stands up straight with Seungcheol next to him, earning him a glance from the man. 
"Oh, did you finally hire a part-timer?" he asks. You consider throwing the stack of new books in your ex's face. And then you remember how much they cost. So instead, you settle on shaking your head. 
"No–" Hoshi cuts you off, though, much to your chagrin. 
"No, I'm just here giving Y/N company," he's saying and you really wish he wouldn't speak, but he goes on, "She's been pretty stressed out these days and last week–"
"Soonyoung," you look at him warningly, "do you think you could help me double-check if there's a delivery out front? I keep getting tracking updates that it's close."
"Of course!" he responds already reaching for the glass doors, "Be right back, Y/N!"
With Soonyoung gone, Seungcheol finally breaks into the guffaw you know he's been keeping in for the past five minutes. "What's that all about?"
"It's none of your business, Seungcheol," you inform him as you busy yourself with tidying up the stray pieces of gum wrapper Soonyoung had conveniently forgotten. 
"Oh, so you do remember who I am, after all?" You hate how much you like listening his voice turn slighly soft at the sound of his name on your lips. And the how your breath's a little uneven when he slides to invade your line of vision, big hands tapping at the counter to get your attention. As if you could possibly be thinking about anything else right now. 
"Why are you here, anyway?" you ask him, training your gaze on him. "Because I know, for a fact, you don't read." 
"I'm hurt, Y/N," Seungcheol gasps with a hand to his chest. His unbelievably firm chest. "And after I worked so hard to read that boring poem book for you?"
You almost seethe at the way he calls it a poem book but contain it with a grimace. "Can we get to the point here? I have a store to run, dude."
"I'm serious! I came here to find a book. Considering picking that poem book again, figure out what the big deal is for once and for all."
You stay still, unresponsive to his ridiculous excuse. Seungcheol waits a few beats, eyes locked with yours before giving in. "Fine. I was in town and wanted to see how you were doing." 
Never mind, you think you preferred to hear the ridiculous lies because the way your ex-boyfriend's gaze drops to your fists by your side has you immediately unfolding your grasp. Stupid Seungcheol and his ability to fuck up a perfectly okay daily routine. 
"Ugh," you sigh out after a moment, "Come on. I'll help you find the chapbook. But you have to promise to never call it a poem book ever again. Or I'm blacklisting you." 
You don't see it but when you spin around to march into the bookstore, expecting Seungcheol to follow you, he's all smiles, his own fists unravelling at the way your tone lost its cold somewhere along the way of this encounter. He skips behind you with a noise of excitement. 
"Okayyyy," you hum as you crouch by the poetry section, fingers expertly running through the spines of the thin books there. Seungcheol crouches by you, a little too close because his arm brushes against you, almost throwing you off-balance. 
You're about to tell him off for surprising you but he suddenly smiles, dimples so delicious in the soft glow of the light of the bookstore filtering through the bookshelves. "Your hair looks different," he comments, voice low and his gaze slowly follows the trail of your low ponytail, the thin grey band that holds the strands together clearly very worn-out. "Looks pretty." 
And where Seungcheol's wondering when you started wearing your hair up, you're incredibly flustered by his compliment. You stand up too quick, knee joints popping, and you think you must really be growing old when your vision blacks out a little. 
You steady yourself with a hand on the shelf, quietly scolding Seungcheol, "You're in the way." He joins you on his feet, making way with an exaggerated wave of his arm, not missing the way your ears are turning redder by the second.
You're gifted a good solid five minutes of peace as you inspect the shelves, wondering how you lost track of the chapbook, when Seungcheol speaks up again. "Um, so seriously, what's the deal with you and Soonyoung? You… seeing him?" 
For all his attempts at maintaining an air of nonchalance, Seungcheol can't help how irked he was when he walked into your bookstore to the sight of Soonyoung making conversation to you. Irksome especially more so because he'd heard you say that you hated having people around you while you did the boring but imperative computer-related stuff at work, something about wanting to get the misery out of the way as soon as possible. Yet, there Soonyoung had been, distracting you with all his airhead being. 
"I can't seem to locate the book right now for some reason," you start, doing nothing to ease Seungcheol's worries, "And I also can't seem to comprehend why my dating life is a point of discussion between us… anymore."
And wow, does your comment hurt. It hurts Seungcheol but also you, even as you're the one saying it because you can practically feel his mood dampening at your words. But the rational part of you is praising you for doing the right thing and setting your boundaries before you get any more carried away by your ex-boyfriend's ways. 
That afternoon Seungcheol leaves your bookstore, very empty-handed and extremely heart-broken, because as he exits, he can already hear Soonyoung asking if you wanted get lunch with him. 
– 
Speaking of lunch, enter Mingyu because eating out with someone, more often than not, meant making a trip to his humble but bustling restaurant. It was everything right with your small town: a simple menu that remained consistently mind-blowing no matter how many times you visited.
Wish you could say your friendship with Mingyu had maintained the same level of consistency as his culinary competence. 
And in your defense, you didn't know how much longer you could've gone ignoring the way Mingyu would take every opportunity to make you extra sides that you didn't order and send you specially curated handmade dinner-sets when he heard you were sick or too busy to eat. You hated it, crossing the friendzone you had so carefully placed him in, but one late night, when he showed up at your door in the rain just so he could deliver your food before it went cold, you caved and invited him in. 
So while you legally have no choice but to politely turn down Soonyoung's offer for lunch, you can't help that you find yourself walking to Mingyu's Kitchen on Saturday morning for some brunch because as much as you loved improvising with the two ingredients in your fridge, nothing beat the ramyeon he cooks. 
You're still groggy when you enter the cozy shop but the familiar scent iss already warming you up from the chilly air outside. Except you make eye-contact with the man as you step foot into the place. 
The man being Seungcheol, of course, because where you could handle fielding Mingyu's puppy eyes on you, a reminder that you hadn't texted him back yet– Seungcheol's intense glare fixed on you has you shaking in your boots. Literally. 
"...actually, I think I'll just eat here," you hear him call out as you approach the counter to place your order. Your head hurts already so you don't think too hard about Seungcheol's request to Sakura who nods with a smile. 
"Y/N!" Mingyu materializes in front of you with a beam to greet you and you think sunglasses might've been the way to go this morning. 
"Hey," you drag out the greeting, flinching at your own hoarse voice, "What's up, Gyu?"
"Nothin' much, just dealing with the usual Saturday morning rush, y'know? Maroon 5 should write a song about that instead of crying over Sunday mornings, don't you think?"
You're busy processing the tall man's chaotic train of thoughts when you hear Seungcheol laughing faintly. You glance at him, frowning when he's standing closer to you than you remember and then look back at Mingyu. "Ha, sorry it's so busy," you mumble.
"You don't sound so good. Did you catch something?" Mingyu inquires, brows furrowing and you genuinely love the man for his observance but dread its consequences nevertheless.
"Ahh, I mean, it's fine. Just a little cold from the wind," you clear your throat in an effort to sound better, "But I'll have a ramyeon for that very reason." You try to punctuate your sentence with a light-hearted chuckle but with your condition, it just kind of sounds like you're dying so you shut yourself up. 
"Feeling under the weather?" 
You look up from your phone screen, where you've been fixating all your attention so you can ignore the way Seungcheol's seated himself on the table right next to yours. This was the problem with eating out alone. The danger of your ex-boyfriend tailing you. You swear you're dragging Nayeon out after you next time, her fucked-up sleep schedule be damned. 
You shrug in response to his question, "I'm fine. Thanks for the concern."
"You're very welcome," comes his teasing reply, "But seriously, you've got to wear more layers than that if you want to make it to winter."
You look down at your long-sleeved top with a frown, "I think this attire is perfectly appropriate for the fall, actually." You tug at the sleeves so they cover your wrists as if to prove a point. 
Seungcheol raises a brow, "It would be a perfectly appropriate attire for someone who doesn't have the immune system of a rat."
Gasping, you shoot back, "Rude! I don't see why I have to stand this slander even when we're not together."
There it is. The words slip out your tongue before you have a minute to filter your thoughts and though things between you and Seungcheol are more chill than most former lovers, your sudden comment has the atmosphere turn ever so awkward, with his smile falling and your own turning sour. 
You sigh in relief when Sakura brings out a tray to Seungcheol's table that very moment, saving you just a little embarassment. "Enjoy your meal!" she smiles at him and then at you, "Your food will be out soon!" 
You nod, swallowing against your dry throat and watch as Seungcheol stares at his food wordlessly. You really had a way with words for someone who sold books for a living. Eventually, you go back to distracting yourself with your phone and he starts eating, suddenly laser-focused on his food. 
You're thankful for the space, until you see Mingyu making his way to your table with your tray in his hands. You don't know why he does that, bringing you your food despite being the head chef and owner of the place. Well, you do know why but you didn't have the energy to deal with the reasons today. 
Not with Seungcheol sitting right there, eyes on Mingyu's back as he places your food in front of you, grin intact. You're about to thank the man and hopefully, cut any conversation short but he beats you to it. 
"Here's your food, Y/N!" his voice borders on cracking but he goes on, "I made you some yuja-cha as well for your throat. And make sure you eat a lot of kimchi, okay? Let me know if you need anything else."
Slowly you nod, thanking him under your breath as he takes off and now it's your turn to stare at your food in silence while Seungcheol's shooting daggers your way. 
If he thought he was upset by your thing with Soonyoung, the way Mingyu was just all up in your space with his stupidly sweet gestures has Seungcheol… a lot more upset. 
"I thought Mingyu and you were just friends," he's voicing before he can help it. 
Your head snaps up in surprise but really, you should've seen this coming. You compose yourself, averting your eyes back to the warm food in your plate. "And I thought I made it clear that my dating life is none of your business."
"It's not my business," Seungcheol says, unconvincing to his own hears, "But it would be a problem if you were, you know, two-timing." 
Now you know Seungcheol is trying to get on your nerves because he knows how much you hate dishonesty and to accuse you of being disloyal is a low blow, really. But it works because you finally look back at him with eyes wide, "Of course I'm not. I slept with him like once!"
Where the news has Seungcheol feeling conflicted because where it was good to know that nothing was serious, it was also not fun to hear that you'd slept with him. But while he tried hard to not dwell on Mingyu's impressive physique, you were busy catching up with your own loss of control.
Because even despite your unintended confession that you hope you weren't too loud about, you quickly supply in a quiet voice, "...well, it was technically a date that led to sleeping– but it had nothing to do with Soonyoung— I don't even know why I'm telling you this!" 
You spend the rest of your brunch focusing on finishing your food and appropriately thanking Mingyu for the food, a little apologetic for many many reasons, so you can leave the same room as your ex-boyfriend faster. 
But he makes it real hard, because just as you step out of the restaurant and take a deep breath of the fresh September air to settle your nerves, you hear his voice calling you out. You stuff your hands into the pockets of your pants to brace yourself as you turn around, already starting to say something about how he needs to leave you alone and forget you said anything. 
"You left your phone behind!" he cuts you off, holding out the device for you to see. You curse under your breath, feeling incredibly ridiculous as you reach for it. 
"Thanks–"
And then he dodges your grasp, leaving you flailing around like an idiot while he looks on with an amused half-smile. Half a smile because he knows you would kill him and then yourself if he straight-out laughed at you. 
"I'll give it back if you unblock me."
Your shoulders slump and a groan leaves your lungs. "Seungcheol."
But his smile only widens because you may be glaring at him but you did just say his name. And a win is a win. 
"Seriously? You're holding my phone hostage just so you can blackmail me over something so petty? Come on!" 
"I'm sorry, do you know how many seal memes you've been missing out on since you blocked me? This is no laughing matter."
"I'm not the one laughing," you snap and then cross your arms in exasperation, "Don't be a child, dude, and just give me my phone."
"Why did you block me anyway?"
You raise your brows at him as if to say really? but he maintains his smile and you groan again. You hate him for knowing that you hadn't blocked him right after the breakup thanks to someone's insistence on thinking seal memes were funny and that the real resaon you'd blocked him was–
"–Siri kept recommending your contact every single time I would go to make a phone call! Heck, I couldn't even text Nayeon to get me a towel in the shower because the messages app would automatically redirect to you."
Seungcheol watches in awe as he connects the dots in his head and mutters, "You still had me saved as kkmua's dad?" You look away but your silence is enough of an answer. 
It doesn't take a genius to figure out that the reason your phone confused Seungcheol with Nayeon because he was kkuma's dad and she was kookeu's mom– an idea a drunk you had found incredibly hilarous. The similarity in their spelling had your algorithm all fooled every time you typed in one or the other's name in a rush. Still, you wish Seungcheol was a little dumber sometimes. 
Now as you look at Seungcheol you can see he's thinking of something. Most likely considering the question: Why didn't you change it? 
"I was too lazy to change it back, okay? Blocking you was obviously the easier choice."
"I didn't say anything," he tells you with an easy smile, clearly pleased to see you flushed. "For what it's worth, you're still promising young woman in my contacts. And I didn't even have to block you."
It's probably because you've seen Seungcheol so much more than the past two months in the past two days, but you find yourself moved by his words. They're not that meaningful really, he's just bringing up a past inside joke in that reassuring tone of his. But you can't help but smile. 
"I hate you," you breathe out and in the context of the conversation, it makes enough sense. But Seungcheol's dimples deepen because in the context of your history with him, the words are a consolation. 
He only becomes certain of it later that night when he's washed up and throws himself into his sheets to find his phone lighting up in the darkness. It's you. 
promising young woman sent you a link 
promising young woman: rats actually have a great immune system so joke's on u 
And that's all it takes for Seungcheol to go back to his lovesick self, squeaking into his pillow as he reads your text over and over until he can comprehend that not only have you unblocked him of your own accord (debatable) but were also texting him first. 
– 
The next time you run into Seungcheol, it really brings his contact name to life. But before that, enter Soobin, a shy blonde who's recently moved to the town. 
"You like Lamp, huh?" 
Soobin jumps around, eyes flailing around as if you'd caught him red-handed. And you might as well have, what with how he'd been humming and swaying to the music leaking out of the speakers in your bookstore. You'd enjoyed watching the younger man visit the store more frequently the past few weeks, always in the evening hours when you would finally break open your playlists, a luxury you only allowed near closing time. 
"Ha," he nervous laughs, "Y-Yeah… Sorry, I didn't think you were still here."
"I run the place, Soobin. It'd be a bit of a problem if I just took off." You smile at his flustered sigh and move past him to shelf a book you'd taken out to review earlier. "Anyway, we're closing soon. You buying anything today or…?" 
Soobin looks at the thick book in his hands and you recognize it as a new arrival but then he flips it around, a little unsure. "Umm, I'm not– this seems cool but also scary so probably not?"
"I'll take it off your hands then?" you offer with an understanding shrug. But he shakes his head eagerly, "No, no, don't worry. I remember where I took this from. I don't want to get in your way."
"...All right," you reply after a pause. Then, brushing your hands against your pants, "Let me know if you need help, anyway." 
But Soobin's far from one to bother you as he leaves wordleslly, not without assisting you relocate some heavy boxes to the store before you lock up for the day. You're calling out goodbye after him as he takes off into the night when you hear soft barks closing in on you, 
For a beat, you freeze because the sound is excruciatingly nostalgic and you genuinely think you must've time travelled when you turn around to see Seungcheol running toward you with a very excited Kkuma leading the way. You're already dropping to a squat when the dog scurries to your feet, licking at your ankle before you get your hands on her.
You let out an undignified coo at the white ball of fur, "Kkuma, my baby. Aww, baby, you're so sweet. Look at you!" You go on for a little bit, fussing over her as she rolls over for some belly rubs before you come to and become aware of the way Seungcheol stands by, patiently watching. 
You slowly rise to your feet with an awkward smile. 
"I'm convinced she still loves you more than me," the man starts with a pout, "And it's still so unfair. Kkuma, I'm your dad. I pay for your meals and grooming, you know?"
You laugh at the way he scolds his dog in a small voice as you retort, "Maybe she's in her rebellious years. Let her be."
Seungcheol's soft gaze lands on you with a huffed chuckle. And then he looks at something behind you. "Who was that, by the way? New conquest?"
You throw your hands up in the air. "Come on, man. You can't keep doing this!"
"Doing what?"
"Snooping around in my business! And also making me sound like some kind of a player." 
Seungcheol looks down like he's reflecting. Kkuma paws at his leg with a whine and you look between them before letting out a cough.
"That was Soobin. If you must know." You look away as you say this, like it was no big deal, reporting on your customers to your ex-boyfriend because he still got all whiny when he saw you with another man. Neither of you is ready to address the meaning of your actions toward each other quite yet. So you both pretend it's normal when Seungcheol lights up a little when you speak up. 
"Soobin…? Haven't hear that name before."
"Yeah, he moved in a few weeks ago. Shy guy but very smart," you say, "And I think he wants to work part-time at the bookstore." 
"Woah," Seungcheol's ears perk up, "That's great, Y/N! You could totally use the help."
You turn to face him, arms crossed yet again, with a suspecting look on your face. "Hmm, I guess you could say that. I haven't popped the question yet though so don't go around spreading rumors." 
"Aww, you know I would never snitch on you like that! Unless he makes a move on you, of course, because that would be a very different story–"
"Seungcheol." 
Nice. That would be three points to Seungcheol if he was keeping count of how many times you'd said in his name in that grave voice of yours, indicating that you were mad but also couldn't cover up the laughter that bled into your tone anyway. And he was. 
– 
"What about you? You were gone a while."
Seungcheol counts his blessings every minute you spend with him, even if a lot of it was you pushing him away. But you couldn't stay consistent with your cold demeanour for much longer, not with him making sure he ran into you just as you closed your store. With Kkuma scurrying for love and his innocent blush whenever you greeted him, it wasn't long before you were letting your walls down. 
So it's no surprise that you find yourself curious of what he'd been upto in the month-long visit he'd paid to his best friend. 
Initially, Seungcheol's giddy ove your question, like you were on a first date all over again and not just walking along the dim grass fields like you so often did. "You know how it is with Jeonghannie. I meant to be there for a week but… one thing led to another and I was there for a while."
You fall silent, trying to imagine what it must've been like for him. "He still lives near that college, doesn't he?"
"Yeah. He's a strange fellow."
"Not that strange. College towns are like cities," you chuckle, "but with less crime and cranky people."
"I don't know, college students are pretty cranky too. Maybe even worse than the average city person." You raise a brow at Seungcheol's grimace.
"What, did Jeonghan force you to fraternize with college kids or what?"
Okay, now Seungcheol's getting a little worried when he realizes where this is going. And even though everything's in the past for him, he can't help but hesitate to tell you what exactly he'd been up to.
"...Yeah, I mean, most of his friends are college seniors. He knows them from his time there so it's pretty chill."
A few more questions from you have Seungcheol pulling out his phone to supply you with some visuals for some of the events he's mentioning and the way you softly laugh into his shoulder at the sight of the chaotic night parties has him getting a little careless. 
"Wait, wait, who was that?" you stop Seungcheol's now excited swiping with a cold hand to his forearm. He freezes, more because he realizes what you're trying to see than the temperature of your body against his. 
"Um, oh–" he watches dumbly as you go back a few photos to a selfie of him and a girl. They're grinning in the photo, teeth on display and cheeks clearly red from intoxication. 
"Ohh, is she one of his college friends? She's cute–" You interrupt your own musings over the stranger when you go back another photo in his gallery. This time it's a photo of the girl kissing Seungcheol on the cheek, his eyes closed with a shy smile. 
"That's–" Seungcheol barely opens his mouth to explain but trails off when you abruptly pull away from him. "She's– A friend… Um, goes to college in the place and she's–" He stops talking with a groan because great, all his stuttering has you side-eyeing him, no doubt recognizing the guilt swimming in his eyes.
Your voice is so small when you finally speak up, pace increasing. "That's cute," is all you say.
"Wait, Y/N, you don't understand. I know what I sound like but–"
"Just to be clear," you stop your brisk walking to hold up a hand in between you and him as if to symbolize the space there. "You don't have to explain anything to me. It's all cool, Seungcheol." 
And the way you murmur his name transports him back a couple months, a similar breezy night. One where you'd pulled him away from a group dinner with your friends and looked down at your feet the whole time but your words had pierced right through his heart anyway. Even back then, you said his name softly, without any malice, but even that might've been merciful. Because what's worse is the way you uttered his name like goodbye, sincere enough to bring tears to his eyes, even now, as he watches your forlorn back disappear into the night. 
Zero points to Seungcheol. 
– 
"Y/N, you in there?"
It takes a good minute of Nayeon repeating her questioning in increasing volume for you to finally hear her knocks over the sound of the music playing through your headphones. You frown as you uncover one ear and call out, "Nayeon? What happened?" The door to your room slowly creaks up, revealing your roommate standing there with her hands occupied, each holding up a bottle of soju invitingly.
"Wanna talk about it?" 
You're already tearing up when she asks you that and by the time you've both drunk your way through the bottles, your eyes feel numb. You interrupt your own worrying over how swollen they were bound to be tomorrow when you point a finger at Nayeon and question, "I really needed this today. How'd you know?"
She smiles, "Of course I did. You ignored my text about eating at Mingyu's Kitchen and my offer to pay. Plus, you didn't do the thing you usually do where you come in and complain about your ex."
You pout, "I'm sorry. I must be so annoying."
"You are," Nayeon shrugs, "And I like it. But you know what I would like more? If you would just make up with him already."
"No."
"Is this about that one photo of some girl kissing him on the cheek? You know how petty it is to get jealous over something like that?"
"She was seriously pretty, Nayeon!" you defend yourself, "And I'm not jealous, just– just upset because he didn't tell me earlier. I feel so stupid."
"I'm sorry, babe," she mutters, rubbing your back, "He's an idiot for not just coming clean."
"I know! Even after he went sticking his nose in my business and who I slept with while he was gone!"
You sniffle, "Maybe I should just call him and tell him to never ever talk to me again. And that he's a jerk. And that I still love him."
"Wait a second," Nayeon pulls you back onto your butt on the floor, "Maybe, let's reconsider that last part?"
You're clearly more drunk than you let on because you look genuinely confused by her interjection. "What? About me hating him?"
– 
When you drag yourself into work on Monday, you expect a lot of things. You see the headache coming, from last night's drinking and this morning's lack of hot water. You also know it's going to rain the whole day so it's only harder to put one foot after another to move. And where you also expect to pestered by a man: the desperate pleas don't come from Seungcheol like you'd secretly hoped.
"Soonyoung?"
The man, who'd been impatiently pacing by the entrance to your store, stops at the sound of your voice and spins around, nearly slipping over thanks to the wet ground. He throws the daunting hood covering his eyes with a bright smile as you run over and hastily unlock the store.
"Why're you out here in the rain?" 
Soonyoung sighs in relief once he's inside brushing his damp pants off with a quick hand. Then, he looks up with a shy expression, "Well, I… need to ask you something."
And given his past mooning over you, when he says that with a nervous laugh, you're stiffening up because you think you know where this is going. But then, Soonyoung defies your expectations for the second time yet again. 
Because where you'd expected to have to turn him down with an incompetent attempt at kindness, the next hour finds you grappling with all the information he's throwing at you.
For starters, he does ask you out. But– "It's fake. Dont worry, I'm not actually into you like that," he quickly adds with a dry laugh. 
As it turns out, he's asking you to help him make a move on a girl he only recently realized he liked. Her name's Chaewon and the only thing you know about her is that she owns a strawberry farm and can sing on ocassion. So you're easily worried by this proposition, "Soonyoung, why would you pretend to be with someone else? Shouldn't you be asking her out?" 
The boy heaves a sigh, "Y/N, I hate it to break it to you but nobody does that anymore. Keep up with the times, won't you? Jealousy is the new I like you."
"I'm pretty sure that's not true," you scoff out, refusing to let Soonyoung peg you as old-fashioned. Your stomach swims at his words anyway, ming wandering to your own… jealousy issues with a certain someone.
"Anyway, there's an open observatory night or something at her farm tonight with complementary dinner after. And I need you to come with me and make her jealous." 
"I don't like how serious you are about this," you complain, "And I don't think I want to be a part of this evil scheme."
"Please, Y/N, you're the only one I can rely on! And you're basically a celebrity around here, when it comes to dating."
You frown, finally looking away from the shelf you'd been re-ogranizing, "What do you mean?"
Soonyoung bites his lip, clearly having said something he shouldn't have. You poke at his arm urgently with a glare. He groans, giving in, "Well, it's just… your break-up with Seungcheol was the only thing anyone could talk about last month! And then the gossip only resurfaced when he came back to town."
"What kind of gossip?" you press with narrow eyes. 
"I– can't say."
"Soonyoung," you warn him, "Tell me. Or I won't pretend to be your girlfriend."
"Oh, come on! This is blackmail!"
"I thought you really wanted to be with Chaewon, no?" you question with inordinate amounts of innonence in your smile, "Makes you want to paint flowers onto the sky for her, doesn't she?"
"Fine, I'll tell you but only because this side of you is scary," the boy sighs out, "People think the reason you broke up with him was because he cheated on you. And now he's back in town so he can apologize and make up with you… or whatever." 
"That's ridiculous!" you cough out, "Who's been spewing this nonsense? I'm gonna have to–"
He holds your arm in an attempt to ground you, "Nobody really thinks it's true though! And remember how you promised to not tell a soul about a word I told you today?"
"I don't because I never said that–!"
"Seungcheol's gonna be there tonight, too, if that helps?"
Soonyoung's clearly much more devious than you last remember him being but when he explains that this could be a win-win situation for both of you– where he makes Chaewon realize her feelings for him, you also make Seungcheol jealous with your little act. 
And while you're sure to curse the him out for his assumption that you would want to get back with Seungcheol at all to begin with, the idea does leave an impression on you. Your mind's gears are working really hard, not just because you're trying to figure out a new spread for the monthly display at the front of your bookstore, but also because you keep finding loopholes in Soonyoung's grand plan.
"But is pretending to be together for one dinner really going to convince anyone? I mean, no offense, but nobody I know will believe that."
Soonyoung shrugs, "It's not just for one night. We're obviously going to do other stuff." You scrunch your nose up in disgust. "But think of tonight as the opening night. What we do tonight determines how the rest of our lives will pan out. We could end up lonely and dreadful if one of us messes up."
– 
For all of your criticism of Soonyoung's hyperbolic description of a dubious scheme, that evening finds you making double-takes in the front camera of your phone every other minute. Yep, turns out your nose was still on your face.
"Y/N, you look great," Soonyoung calls out finally, having watched you the whole ride to the venue. It was part of his plan, of course, to make things seem more official in his words. "So can you stop?"
"Are you sure you don't like me?"
As it often happens, your own question catches you more off-guard than it does Soonyoung. Your nerves have succesfully taken over your bodily functions. 
"I don't, Y/N," he responds with an easy smile, "I don't know why you keep asking me that. Do you like me or something?"
You sigh. "Sorry. It just seemed like that for a while. But I'm glad you don't, it makes things a lot easier."
"Good," he hums and then, after a beat passes, "By the way, when all of this over and both of us are hopefully happily in love with our respective partners–"
"I'm not in love with Seung–"
"And after you're done denying your feelings– Maybe we can be friends?"
You nod with a thoughtful hum, "Sure. That sounds fine. Except I thought we were already friends?"
Conversation with Soonyoung becomes a lot less tiresome when you've both established the purely platonic basis of your relationship. Which is ironic because fifteen minutes later, he's whispering in your ear to smile as he reaches for your hand. But his presence is still comforting and you find yourself wondering why you hadn't always found it this easy to be friends with him. The thought keeps you distracted momentarily and then, you lock eyes with Seungcheol. 
You were standing next to Soonyoung when it happened, hand in his as he caught up with friends and purposefully showed off his new relationship. The news was as unexpected to them as it was to you this morning and keeps conversation busy enough to allow you to be completely zoned out. And then you spot Seungcheol across the room, his eyes fixed on you in the distance and his mouth set in an intimidating line.
You look away with a cough, feeling your neck grow warmer. Soonyoung senses the change in your mood and when he asks if you're okay, you lean into his ear and complain, "Fuck, I just made eye-contact with him." 
He breaks into a grin at your indirect admission to still liking your ex. If Seungcheol knew the context to your arrangement with Soonyoung, he would find this entire exchange heart-warming, losing it over how shy you've gotten. But he doesn't know.
So in his eyes, it just looks like you've just whispered an inside joke into another man's ear and his chuckles are out of fondness. And that's why attributes your shy flush to Soonyoung's response to you, and not the eye-contact you'd made with him seconds ago.  
Seungcheol spends the rest of the night lurking. He skirts your surroundings, his eyes in disbelief every time you don't pull away from Soonyoung's hand on you. He's confused and jealous. The combination has him malfunctioning in a corner when he spots you breaking away from Soonyoung's side for the first time that evening. 
He doesn't even spare a thought to his actions when he springs forth, trailing you to the refreshments. You're trying to refill your lemonade even though you don't really have the desire to drink it anymore, mainly because Soonyoung had approached Chaewon and it seemed like his plan was working because you'd never felt so invisible in a conversation before. 
You can feel the act tiring you out though because you don't notice it when Seungcheol sneaks up to your side, breathing down your neck and staring seriously even when you spin around and almost spill your drink all over yourself in surprise. 
"S-Seungcheol!" you groan out, flustered but relieved your dress didn't have to suffer the consequences of your weakness around him. But your heart certainly did, especially when the man stepped closer, voice few octaves lower than usual.
"What are you doing with him?"
You go silent, knowing that you should feel unsettled by the absence of friendliness in his tone but only feel yourself enjoy the way he's so obvious about his jealousy. You look back at him, trying to seem innocent but immediately hate the way his eyes have reddened. "I'm… helping Soonyoung out."
Seungcheol's expression is a big question mark at that. A big angry question mark followed by an exclamation point, if you will. "...by following him around on his arm all night?" 
"Um… yeah," you look over his shoulder to make sure Soonyoung's still occupied by Chaewon and the momentary lack of attention is already pissing your ex-boyfriend even more. You hate lying but you convince yourself that right now, you're simply witholding information from someone. 
"I don't get it, Y/N," he says, "Did I lose my chance with you?"
The question catches you completely off-guard, leaving you gaping at Seungcheol. You were used to his short-temper and his incessant questions but this was new: the solemn setting of his lips and his downcast eyes as he asked you if he still stood a chance with you. He was being vulnerable, you realized, in a way that he never was during your relationship. The change is dizzying, it really is, and you can only think of all the other ways Seungcheol's been changed since he returned.
And all the ways he's stayed the same.
You swallow against the lump in your throat, "Come with me." 
You lead him to a slightly more secluded part of the observatory, a dimly lit corner that's orchestrated by more crickets and the lack of chatter is a welcome relief to your already crowded senses. "I'm not actually with Soonyoung," you breathe out, the truth weighing heavily on your tongue even though you'd only pretended for the one night, "I'm pretending to, because he asked me to." 
Seungcheol's eyes widen, "What? You're fake-dating that guy? Why?"
"He likes Chaewon," you point them out for him over his shoulder but Seungcheol only stares at your face with a serious expression. You retract your pointer with a flushed face, "And they were apparently getting nowhere, despite both liking each other. So he figured he needed some intervention."
You point to yourself this time with a half-smile and then remember the unimpressed look on Seungcheol's face. You watch his face carefully but he remains still for over a minute. 
"Well, I'm only telling you because you asked so nicely," you clear your throat, feeling a little stupid now that he's gone mute, "Do with that what you will. I'm gonna go back…"
You pat your dress down and exhale heavily, trying to steel yourself against both the disappointment and the cold night-air. You've already rejoined the noisy crowd, only a few steps away when you pick up on Seungcheol's voice. 
"--meant nothing…" is all you can pick up so you turn around to find him at an arm's length, muttering something, too low for it to be audible. You say, "What did you say?"
"I said that the photo you saw that day meant nothing. She's Jeonghan's girlfriend and I slept with her once. I also pretended to be into her but only so I could forget about you."
More than anything, you're shocked by the way he emphasizes you, the word coming out stronger than the rest of his explanation, one that does more to soothe your nerves than you realize. But you also don't know what to with this new information, because your brain can't keep up with how much more context there might be to it– Why did he sleep with her if she's with Jeonghan? And why did he look so happy in the photo if it meant nothing?
But tonight isn't about you, it's about Soonyoung and you've made a promise to him. So you tell Seungcheol, "I've gotta get back, Cheol–" the nickname slips out before you've censored yourself. Your face burns but you turn away quickly. "I- See you later."
The crowd is so close to you, just another step or two and you could be lost in the sea of half-familiar faces and probably get caught up in catching up with someone or the other. But if the crowd is close, then Seungcheol is closer to you. 
His hands are on your shoulders, warm heat invading your exposed arms pleasantly when he holds you back with that pained look of his. At this point, you're only partly grounded in your body, floating around when you hear Seungcheol's words to you. "I'm still in love with you, Y/N. Never stopped loving you, to be honest." 
That brings you back to earth with a jerk and you blink at him slowly. "I–" you start and then trail off. Then you start again, now that reality's starting to set again. "I feel the same. Obviously. I tried to move on but– ugh, I still love you." You feel Seungcheol's arm slide down to your elbows and then to find your hands, intertwining your fingers with his like he'd imagined doing ever since he got back to town.
"So we're good?" Seungcheol asks you, licking his lips with a small smile.
"Um, well, what do you mean by that because if– I mean, if we're friends–" You're trying to think of a way to state your thoughts in a self-respectful way when he leans in, lips brushing against your with a soft sigh. Your own breath hitches, especially when Seungcheol's hands come up to cup your face with a gentleness you forgot he could muster. He kisses you, sweet and soft, and when you pull away it's with a stupid grin.
He matches your grin, "Does that make things clear? We're not friends. I want to kiss your face and it would be great if you stopped pretending to date other men–"
The mention of fake-dating has you gasping loudly as you push Seungcheol away hastily, "Fuck, I'm supposed to be with–" You turn around and no doubt, everyone rushes to look away but you know the damage has been done when you hear scattered applause and whistles. The sight is heart-warming to you in a universe where you haven't just fucked up a plan. 
"I messed up big-time," you tell Seungcheol with an exasperated groan. 
The man regards you with thinly-concealed glee, "We kiss and make up but you're complaining because…?"
"Soonyoung! I was supposed to–"
Seungcheol doesn't do anything to help when he leans in to peck your lips again. You scowl at him, "What was that for?"
"Sorry, I just forgot what I was to you for a moment there, what with you going on about another man–"
"Cheol, I just confessed my love to you," you scold him but your ears turn pink, "And you're my boyfriend. So don't forget that. But right now, I need to go find my fake-boyfriend or I'll have blood on my hands–"
You're rushing to spot Soonyoung's head in the crowd when he suddenly appears, much closer than you'd anticipated, probably because he's heading right at you. You start to feel the guilt build up in your throat but then you see the grin he's sporting and the way he's skipping toward you. 
"Soonyoung," you call out, "I'm sorry–" you gesture toward Seungcheol vaguely, "I got a little caught up."
"Ahh, don't worry about it!" the boy chuckles lightly and then crosses his arms like he does when he has something to tell you, "I'm– The plan worked!"
"What?! It did? But I thought–?"
"Yeah, well, one part of the plan was to get you and Seungcheol together?" Soonyoung reminds you with a sly smile. You feel Seungcheol's arm around you as he pipes up, "It was???" You ignore how excited he sounds and narrow your eyes at Soonyoung, "Okay, but we clearly just ruined the whole act! What about–"
"Chaewon got jealous. And then when we spotted you and Seungcheol kissing, she was about to be really mad at you but I explained things to her… and then, she was mad at me but then… um, well, we, you know, kissed it out."
"Soonyoung!" you exclaim, clapping your hands together in relief, "That's great! We don't have to date anymore!" 
Soonyoung laughs at your phrasing but you're busy being wooed by the smitten smile on Seungcheol's face when squeezes your hand, muttering, "You all mine now?" 
– 
Cue star-gazing with Seungcheol. 
It was his idea, one he'd suggested out loud to you over the dinner that was also his idea, the candle between you flickering with your breathless agreement. You were in love with Seungcheol like you'd been for as long as you remember. The break-up, creeping up into your mind thanks to a combination of a lull in your relationship with him and doubts of whether there might be someone else for both of you, seemed like a faraway event already when you resumed your life with him.
"The stars are pretty, aren't they?"
You hum in agreement to Seungcheol, fiddling with his fingers. His laughter bleeds into your body, "You're not even looking up at the sky, baby."
You shift to lay down next to him. "I was!" you defend, "But then I got scared. The stars just make me feel so insignificant. And temporary." Your voice breaks a little, "I don't want temporary."
Seungcheol wraps around you, bringing your face up to his and watching you blink the tears out of yours. "Oh, doll, you're so precious," he huffs out, running a thumb under your eyes, "I love you. Fuck being temporary, okay? I'm going to be with you forever."
"You can't guarantee that though," you mumble out.
"I know I can't. Because I could die before you or like be abducted by the aliens when they inevitably come colonize us. We all know I'd be their first pick."
"You know that's not what I meant."
"Y/N, we're still together, even after we broke up," he kisses your cheek to emphasize your togetherness, "We're in love, despite it all. And that seems solid enough to me, you know? The scariest part of going into a relationship is the possibility of separating. But if we've done it before, how bad can it be?"
"What if we break up again?"
"Then we'll figure something out," Seungcheol says, "I know we will. It might not be the same as always but I promise I'll always be a part of your life for as long as I can." 
You sniffle into his shoulder, "I love you. Can you please beg the aliens to take me with you?" 
Seungcheol's laughter resounds through you yet again, a hand brushing your hair lovingly. You were finally wearing your hair down again, and it might've something to do with the way he would find a way to slip the hairtie out of its place. It sits around his wrist now, worn-out but incredibly dear to him. 
"Of course, love, anything for you." 
–  
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
the seungcheol brainrot never stops <3 i hope i've done this seungcheol justice, given what he went through in jeonghan's fic lol... anyway, i'm thinking of writing another part where jeongcheol catch up or something?? may be an interesting collision of worlds... we'll see.
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