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writing-with-chaos · 4 years

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[Your OCs Backstory] Skills

@yourocsbackstory @etjwrites

WOW. This is what I get for not reading the prompt itself and only going by the title. I totally misinterpreted the kinda skills we were supposed to be showing ^^; Of COURSE y’all wanna know about her powers! I’ll have to do an extra one that’s right.

In the mean time! Have a present day extra of the main girls having a slumber party, and Ria using her favorite mundane skill!

Ariana Salem

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//and when it rains,

well you always find an escape

just runnin' away

from all of the ones who love you...//

Damali was going through her sleepover phase.

She'd been asleep with a wiped memory for the last thirty-five years, so there was a lot to catch up on in a short amount of time. Her phases went through quick bursts, largely influenced by whatever she was reading or watching at the moment. So far, there'd been an arts and crafts phase, a biology phase, a geology phase, a culinary phase, and an eighties phase, all within the span of a few weeks. Now, after watching a movie about a sleepover adventure, every night they huddled around the TV in their pajamas, with popcorn and pizza and candy, and built a blanket fort to nest in. ShadowGrl was gleefully in charge of making the fort every night, and Ariana managed the snacks. Under normal circumstances, it might've gotten annoying, but after the last few months of being stuck behind the walls of the Safe House, all the excitement was more than welcome. It was the most alive any of them had felt in a long time. Ariana definitely didn't mind. She was already awake on the couch most nights anyway. Having everyone sleeping in a group helped her feel safe enough to get a little more rest.

"Kendra, are you gonna join us?" Damali always remembered to ask the Chaos Power, despite the answer being the same.

"I'll be upstairs."

Damali wasn't far enough along in understanding social rules to get the disconnect, but Ariana knew, in the end, Kendra was doing them a favor. It would've felt like babysitting if she joined them. Especially knowing that their gatherings had a tendency of getting a little loud. Either way, Damali didn't seem too put off by the consistent denials. She just wanted to make sure everyone was included. It was character growth, considering how afraid she was of Kendra and 'Drea initially.

Tonight, the first activity on the agenda was painting their nails. Ariana offered to do the painting, as long as they didn't mind her being slow and careful as hell. Her perfectionism always lept out when she did anything artistic, especially now that she barely lifted a pencil. She started on Damali first. They always started the night with their favorite TV shows, and ShadowGrl's crime shows premiered first. The nails were good to keep Damali distracted. She had a low tolerance for intense action and violence, understandably so.

"What are you gonna do for yours?" Damali asked eagerly.

Ariana shrugged. "I bite my nails too much for it to matter."

"Then how did you get so good at this?"

"Ria used to paint all the time. She won an award for art school," ShadowGrl proudly bragged on her behalf.

"Really?" Damali's eyes light up.

"Yeah." Ria smiled humbly. "Nails are just like tiny easels. I used to do this for Sabin a lot."

ShadowGrl immediately turned her head from the screen. "You're telling Sabin stories?"

"No? I just said--"

"We are supposed to talk about boys here," Damali piped in, with a bright and eager look in her eyes.

"You don't even like boys, Dee. And ShadowGrl is ten, she doesn't know what a boy is."

"I do too!" Her voice squeaked with offense.

"Sarcasm, kiddo."

"That's all true!" Damali nods. "But I don't know any other girls to talk about, so you have to lead the conversation. Otherwise it's not authentic."

She sighed. Sabin's ID tags hung heavy around her neck. "There's really not a story. Panacea always made Sabin do two things growing up: keep his hair cropped and his nails super short. When he was free, he liked to do the opposite, and one time he mentioned that if he could paint his nails, he would. So I offered to give him a manicure and it became a thing."

"That's just like what you do with me!" Damali said.

"Ria's a sucker for Panacea freaks," ShadowGrl teased. She sounded proud of herself but really she was only repeating what Ariana said once.

"Thanks, brat."

"When we get him back, we can throw one of these parties and have it manicure themed! " Damali exclaimed. Ariana winced. "We could each make up a design for him, to welcome him back! Like when people sign casts!"

"Yeah! What colors did he like?" ShadowGrl was leaning forward so far she was almost in Damali's lap.

Kendra's energy started prickling in Ariana's fingertips, reacting to her growing irritation. She took a deep breath to quiet the thorns. "I don't know, it was a long time ago. I don't really wanna talk about this anymore. We talked about a boy, it counts, right?"

"Yeah, of course! ," Damali quickly piped up. She ducked her head slightly. "S-Sorry. Thank you for sharing though!"

"Yeah."

She flexed her fingers. ShadowGrl turned back to her spot and flipped the channels. It was thankfully time for Ariana's show to come on. A mindless, more-relatable-than-she'd-like-to-admit teen drama with overexaggerated problems she could immerse herself in instead of the horror story that was her life. It was perfect to keep her distracted again. Doing any kind of art was always so relaxing. It quieted her brain, allowed her to pick out the real thoughts from the anxious noise, maybe turn one or the other into something tangible. But quiet was exactly what she was afraid of. Getting lost in the swirls of the fluffy white clouds dancing along the pastel purple she colored Damali's nails brought a rare calm that was amazing, but it also allowed memories to sneak in. It was a lie before. Of course she remembered what Sabin liked. She remembered the first color she gave him: dark blue with a silver glittery top cover, cause it reminded her of his powers. He'd always light up when she was finished, no matter if the art looked good or not. Stars, suns, ice cream, flowers, cookies. When they were dating, she'd add hearts and xos, and of course her diamond symbol so when he was in hiding he could look down and feel like she was still with him. She wondered if her bracelet she left with him had the same effect. The longer she wore his ID tags, the more they felt like dragging chains, growing heavier with the weight of his life the longer it took her to find him.

"Alright." Ariana leaned back and sucked in a steadying breath. Subtle, so it sounded like a common sigh. "All done. You like 'em?"

"I love them!" Damali could barely keep still. Her giddiness was too infectious not to bring a small smile to Ariana's face, even with the anxiety. She had to remind her not to move her hands until they dried.

"That means you're next, punk." Ariana playfully pointed to ShadowGrl. The youngest nearly lept to her side, hands at the ready. "Any requests?"

"I want lime green! With flames!"

"Hell yeah."

Ariana tried to put a little more focus on the show this time. Listen to the girls chatter with each other. The more she focused on them, the less she had to be in her own head. The less she had to acknowledge the hurt when she saw a clean streak of color and only felt a rumbling wave of panic in her spine. She was so sick of their fun moments being ruined by her own bullshit. She didn't want to deal with it today. Still, her mind couldn't help but wander. She didn't have the heart to tell Damali, but if she ever did find Sabin, he would hate having so many people he didn't know touching him. But she could paint the messages of her friends. Tell him the story of how many people rallied behind them for freedom. And with every stroke of the brush, the dead parts of her would fall away and light up with color again. A welcome home party for them both.

It was all she could hope for at this point.

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Author’s Note: If you read this far and you’ve been following these entries, you’re probably wondering ‘WHO THE HELL IS SABIN?????’. I didn’t get to post it last weekend, but you can still read about him and Ria’s relationship over here: “[Your OC’s Backstory] First Love”

#writeblr #writeblr community #writers of tumblr #writblr #writers #my ocs #writeblr ocs #yourocsbackstory #The Writing #cynical chaos #Ariana

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mindmeafterdark · 5 years

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Hereafter

-Have you ever considered the difficulty of outrunning the sun?

Vampire of my lineage could withstand the rays of dusk and dawn and even cloud covered days but full sunlight was a death sentence. One could imagine how this was discovered.

After Cora's death I found myself out just prior to sunrise every day for a countless number thereafter. I'd wait until the beams would start to singe my brows and then...then I would run. I wasn't so much trying to escape it as I was letting it chase me.

This recklessness is what I thought I needed, this dangerous game of cat and mouse with a ball of fire.

But it turned out to be the exact opposite.

What I yearned for was to stop the spin of things I couldn't fix or alter.

Control.

That was what I needed and what I found in a way that was least expected.

My darling Mia, though I tried to keep it close to the chest, knew I suffered gravely at the loss of Cora. She knew it steeped my helplessness in the waters of despair. She knew it was the causation of bitter memories resurfacing. The difference with Cora was that my heart had been hers in a way it had never belonged to anyone and she had expired due to something that could not have been stopped, not by anything within my power.

I purchased the shop she had worked so diligently to make hers, stopping on occasion to run my hands through the garments she had tailored so exquisitely, pricking the tip of my finger on the needle she’d last handled - anything I could to feel closer to the love I’d lost.

Had I been left on my own, I’m quite sure I would have found myself drowned and in some figment of actual reality. Mia would not allow that. Though she did not press on me attending the usual litany of parties, it was on a night in late November she invited me to one of a different ilk. Expectation was dismissed when she suggested I dress in all black attire and noted that likely wouldn’t want to see what she wore under her own overcoat. Her makeup was darker, heavy across her lids and her demeanor serious as we made our way to this event.

It was fashioned at its entry much in the way of a Speakeasy: nondescript and password required. On the other side of the door, however, the atmosphere was immediately and noticeably something different. The lighting was nearly nil, inky darkness broken only by a scarce amount of candles turned low. The scent in the air was a potent mix of beeswax, liquor and a hint of sex, my curiosity was promptly engaged. Mia pressed a kiss to my cheek and slipped away. We would meet just before sunrise and take our leave.

I was quick to discover that this was not at all about revelry of the standard kind of the age. The alcohol was limited to one serving each hour, the costs adjusted so that they still might turn a profit, I assumed, and the maximum set for quite a different reason… control.

With vodka in hand, I begin my mission to uncover what I had stepped into. Women were dressed in corsets and stockings - only corsets and stockings - and the men were relieved of much external clothing as well. There were various states of bondage and bodies configured like puzzles.

Where had Mia taken me and what exactly had brought her here? I growled at the thought before shaking it away. I could not entertain theories about my sister in this atmosphere.

I wandered and waited for something to appeal to my attention span and the scene that revealed itself as earning the right caught me off guard. Two men, one standing and gripping what looked to be a riding crop, the other without clothing, kneeled before him. I watched as the worn leather of the crop circled the naked male’s lips, apparently a silent signal for him to open his mouth wide. Watching this excited me, my pulse quickened, my canines throbbed and as the man in the dominant position clutched the back of the other’s head and pressed his hard length between his lips, I was seduced by the image.

I wanted to take the place of the man who held the control.

I swallowed my drink, unaware of how much of the first hour had passed, my eyes affixed and unwilling to stray before the culmination of the scene had been realized.

I knew the moment the man caught me watching, though he waited until he had climaxed to crook his finger my way. I raised my own hand, shaking my finger slowly back at him, indicating I wasn’t wishing to be under his charge. He then told the one still on his knees not to move before coming over, and slammed me into the frame of the door with his body, pressing his chest to mine. Though my reflexes were well intact, I didn’t stop him when he kissed me, his stubble rough and welcomed against my mouth, his breath laced with bourbon.

Before he could escape with the victory of his aggression, I disarmed him and flipped our positions, dragging the crop up his leg, a devilish gleam in my narrowed eyes as I met his. I nipped at his earlobe before delivering a warning in his ear, making it plain that nobody controlled me. I was amazed with the quickness I took up this manner, as if I was not a novice but experienced.

Everything engaged in that moment; what I was seeking, what I needed to survive my heartache, and certain other predispositions. It tasted of my history, the one which I shared with Illarian and was colored by the more recent shades of grief.

In theory, though not practice, that was the night I first became what is modernly known as a Dom.

My heart had been sealed off and for decades I was satisfied by my dominant dalliances with male and female submissives alike, though the women were much less in number and could bear no resemblance to my love. There was never an expectation of a traditional relationship, which suited me as my heart would forever belong to another. Nothing had ever compared to the feelings captured during the short time I shared with my Cora.

It was some time in the late nineties the lifestyle I had so chosen began to tarnish of its allure. Though there were many who understood the roots of traditional BDSM, so many, too many participated in the manner one would with a fad. It was no longer so fulfilling, though I didn’t abandon it all together, I became much more picky and process of meeting someone adherent to my old school ways was much more arduous.

It was around this time of metamorphosis I found myself making a hairpin turn.

I felt ancient in my bones, my soul feeling the weight of times gone by, my seriousness set. I wanted to grow… I desired evolution within my own character, how static I had become.

Through a course of combing the classifieds and participating in in depth personality assessments via quizzes, you can imagine my laugh when it was indicated I would work well with children. At first I rejected the notion. At first I blamed the tests I had chosen. But again and again, no matter the creator or specialty of the pyscho-whatever responsible for the content, the results pointed like a compass in the same direction.

This was how I found myself in the surprising career of a nanny, or as more current colloquialisms have produced, a manny. Before I could embrace the new direction, I went through the process of altering my identity, as was called for every few decades as not to raise suspicions. This is when I changed from Mikhail to Kai, dropping the name rooted in Russian history to something more fitting of the times with a few dismissed letters.

The first of the families who employed me had been of a vampir bloodline. Through word of mouth I had discovered their needs and it made it easier having to provide no explanation for my limitations.

Rearing children and caring for them was a warmer control than my other variety, and the separation from that lifestyle was refreshing. I learned from the children, and lived vicariously through their growth and wide eyes. They brought a lightness to my spirit I hadn’t had since… Cora. Though there was danger in the door this opened, time enough had passed that it transpired without my permission.

Their challenge and defiance often made me laugh, but was never to be taken lightly. Children were for certain headstrong more often than not, and every season of change they went through forced me to expand and adapt. For as much as I may have taught them, they in return educated me.

In quiet times, when I let my mind seep into the past, I’d take out the ring, the one that would have sat so perfectly on Cora’s dainty left ring finger. I imagined the life we never got to share… the children we would have had, how I would have attended her every whim and desire with a resolute passion.

Though the imagined memories were as fractured as the reflections of light the ruby ring cast on the walls, there was an undeniable beauty in allowing myself the experience. Though I’d never be able to touch them, there was still a way to behold them.

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alicecpacheco · 4 years

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Outside-the-Box Sterilization Monitoring

Here is my latest article from Dental Products Report...

In the midst of stricter infection control protocols, autoclave monitoring is often overlooked. The TerraGene MiniBio and the 3M Attest can change that.

We’ve seen a lot of changes in the past 6 months. In some ways, it seems time truly flies, but with the next breath, you can hear yourself thinking, “Wait, that ‘just’ happened?”

This is a really strange time to be alive. In the short span of 6 months, we have seen our lives and our practices practically turned inside out. So many things have changed that I sometimes feel it’s almost too much to process.

A true story here: Last week, I met an acquaintance whom I had not seen since before the entire coronavirus disease 2019 (COVID-19) catastrophe. He’s a gregarious “big” personality who just lights up any room he enters. He walked up to me and stuck out his hand. There was a brief moment where I just locked up, unsure of what to do. Then, I figured, “This is why we have hand sanitizer,” and I shook his hand. For those of you who know me, I’m a touchy-feely type, a hugger—but I hadn’t shaken a hand in more than 6 months. It felt creepy—the same kind of creepy I’d probably feel if I reached into a mouth without wearing gloves. Until I got back to my hand sanitizer, I was almost painfully aware of my right hand and what might be on it. I sure as heck didn’t get it near my face! As soon as I could, I slathered on hand sanitizer and then sat back to ponder how different this was from just March of this year.

For more than 30 years, dentistry has had an amazing infection control protocol. We have always been on the forefront of keeping our patients and our teams safe. And we ought to be doing these things. I would venture to guess that we probably perform more outpatient services that generate aerosols than any other profession in health care.

I am very proud of what we have done in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Dentistry has taken huge steps in the last few months to ensure the safety of those we treat and those we employ. Just even walking into most offices now looks totally different than it did 6 months ago and that’s before you take into consideration the clinical changes we have implemented.

As Technology Evangelist, I’m always on the hunt for better, more efficient, and cost-effective ways to provide better outcomes for our patients and for our practices. One phrase never fails to elevate my blood pressure: “But we’ve always done it that way.” I’m a firm believer that better ways to do things are always waiting just over the horizon. All we have to do is find them.

In the situation we currently face, a great deal of time and treasure has been put toward our protocols for infection control. Our profession has implemented massive changes in our infection control processes and systems, many of which are devoted to decreasing the odds of cross-contamination.

I’d like to discuss, though, a part of the system many of us probably haven’t looked at closely in quite some time: monitoring our autoclaves. I think this is because autoclave use often happens where and when the doctor doesn’t really see the process, and it has become just another standard task that is usually done by a delegated dental assistant.

Currently, most offices are utilizing some type of “sterilization monitoring service.” Such a service works like this:

The monitoring company sells the office a supply of spore test strips. Of each set of 2, one strip is placed into the autoclave and processed in a normal sterilization cycle, while the other strip is not run and is used as the control. Upon completion of the sterilization cycle, the strip is removed from the autoclave and then both strips, properly identified as test and control, are sent to the testing facility.

Once the strips arrive there, both are placed in an environment where the spores they contain can be grown and are monitored. If the control strip shows growth and the test strip does not, the test is considered successful and all is well. However, if both show negative growth or, even worse, both show positive growth, the test is considered a fail.

With a failed test, the dental office must be notified right away. Once notification is received, the autoclave is immediately taken out of service. A second test is run. If this test shows success, the previous test is considered an aberration and all is well. However, if a second failure occurs, something is seriously wrong with the autoclave and it requires service by qualified personnel.

This testing system works, but the real problem is the amount of time involved. If the test results are sent by mail, several days can pass between a failed test and the office’s receipt of the notification. Also, if a second test is required, at least the same amount of time is “downtime” for the autoclave until a “pass” is received back.

Now what if there was a way for the office to know the results of these tests in less than half an hour? Would you be interested? I thought you would.

Two systems—the TerraGene MiniBio and the 3M Attest—have come to market and can do just that. These systems consist of an incubator and test-tube–like devices filled with spores and growing medium that are referred to as biologic indicators (BIs). I’ve been putting both systems through some clinical trials in my practice for well over a month.

In a manner similar to the spore strip test described above, an office takes one BI and marks it as “test” and another from the same box marked as “control.” The test BI is run in a normal cycle. After the cycle, the tube should cool for 10 minutes. Then (in both brands) you break the seals on 2 tubes that mix any spores that are present with a growth medium. Next, you place both tubes, containing the control and test strips, into the incubator. The incubator then warms the BIs and monitors the tubes for fluorescence, which indicates spore growth.

If the incubator detects growth, a fairly loud beeping alarm sounds and the well that contains the failed tube is identified. On the 3M Attest, the failure is shown by a lit-up “+” sign; on the TerraGene, it’s denoted by a red LED light.

Because there is always 1 tube (the control) that will test positive, the alarm will always go off. I think this is a good feature because it lets the user know the system is indeed working.

The TerraGene MiniBio has 3 wells, so it can test 2 autoclaves and the control simultaneously. Positive and negative results are indicated by green and red LEDs, and the device also contains a tiny printer. All results are printed on a thin strip of paper that can be saved for record-keeping purposes. The device definitely has a remarkable high-tech look, and even better, it runs the test cycle in an impressive 20 minutes.

The 3M Attest has 4 wells but lacks a printer. The LED indicators are built into the device’s side. In addition to “+” and “–” for pass and fail, these LEDs also show the time left in the test. This device runs a test in 24 minutes (versus the MiniBio’s 20), so you’ll see “24…23…22…” etc, to indicate the time remaining. 3M definitely went for a ‘less is more’ esthetic with this device.

Each device also has a USB connection that allows results to be downloaded to a computer that runs software created by each company. The office can then digitally monitor and record results for safe, effective long-term record-keeping.

As for costs—which we must consider—I find both of these products to be incredibly affordable for the peace of mind they deliver. My best current information is that each incubator sells for around $600. The BI tubes cost around $4 each for the MiniBio and $5 for the Attest.

The biggest plus is the speed at which you get the results. Gone is the era of waiting days for them. Now, you can run a test quickly and extremely accurately in your office, anytime you would like, and have those results in less than half an hour. Again, I’ve been using both devices for more than a month and have been very impressed with the performance of both.

In a world where we are trying as hard as possible to ensure the strength of our decontamination, protection, and sterilization processes, in-house monitoring of a critical system such as this is essential. I can’t imagine going back to the “old” way.

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graceivers · 7 years

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Review #24 - The Substitute

The Substitute Author: Denise Grover Swank Genre: Contemporary Romance Rating: ★★★★ Recommendation: give it a shot; once was enough Summary: Somehow, Megan Vandemeer finds herself flying home solo for her wedding without telling her entire family that she already broke up with the fiancé. Enter Josh McMillan—out to save his family company with no plan whatsoever. Then Megan falls into his lap and so does his plan, which somehow includes pretending to be that fiancé.

Female Lead: Overall, I enjoyed Megan as the female lead. Should she have told her family that she broke up with her fiancé? Yes. Did I buy her reasons for not doing so? Yeah, actually, I did. I understood and sympathized with her reluctance given the amount of pressure that had been put on her. She’s significantly undervalued in her family, especially by her mother. I mean, Megan has a career all of her own making; she’s pretty stable financially, mentally, socially; she’s made it on her own. Swank downplays Megan’s independence to highlight the relationship she has with her mother, but it should not be overlooked. Megan has a mind of her own; she can make her own decisions (even when she doesn’t make them). Everyone makes mistakes, including Megan, but this girl deserves a break and definitely deserves happiness.

The one thing that slightly erred me about Megan—and Josh kind of as well, though I’ll get to that later—is her lack of conviction and determination in breaking up the engagement when Josh is pretending to her fiancé, Jay. Unlike Josh, she didn’t really have a reason to go along with the fake engagement any longer than she had to. And because she didn’t know Josh’s motives until the end, I thought Megan should’ve been a little more proactive and pushed for the breakup. Did I buy that she liked being with Josh for that time? Yes. Did I think that was enough for her to continue their ridiculous charade? No. But, alas, it’s fiction… Male Lead: I liked Josh as much as I liked Megan. He’s trying his best to do right for his family company and its employees. And though it might have been anger and revenge that first motivated him to get on a plane and spy and/or confront the people that have made his life difficult, he’s kind of the sweetheart that can’t help but swoop in and save the day for Megan. Well, even his intentions with Megan weren’t all that honorable at first, but he got there. I love that even in the short of amount of time that he knew Megan and got to spend with her, he was the one that really saw her and appreciated her for who she genuinely was. He understood her needs; he understood her.

I guess Josh gets a pass for putting off the breakup of the fake engagement given that he needed to stay connected with Megan’s family for business reasons. Likewise, I felt his feelings were much more convincing than Megan’s were. Maybe that was because Megan had a lot going on in dealing directly with her family and the wedding plans while Josh only had to play along. Regardless, Josh showed up when necessary—standing up for Megan, being incredibly accommodating and sweet to her, and yeah, falling her for. Plot & Writing: The Substitute is full-on fake dating trope. There were some good and great parts about the plot, and then there was one maybe not so believable part. Let’s review.

The good? All the wedding details and pre-wedding activities. This is the stuff of dreams for me. Given that Swank set the story less than a week before the big wedding, we were given a heavy dose of everything wedding, which also included a lot of engagement activities since Megan’s family had never met her fiancé—Jay or Josh. Still, the author utilized these events to her advantage to both move the plot along as well as display some character revealing information and relationship growth. Megan trying on both wedding dresses for Josh was a highlight for me not only because I got wedding stuff to geek out over, but also because it showcased the kind of relationship the couple had. And then of course there were a bunch of little places where Josh kept doing things like kissing Megan to shut her up in front of suspicious parties. Pure fake dating trope stuff right there, but it’s still amazing because as those moments accumulate, Swank unravels the feelings Megan and Josh have for each other. When it’s done right like this, it’s what makes fake dating trope so appealing.

The bad? Well, it’s not really that horrible, but the timing is definitely something to talk about. There were literally four days between the moment Megan and Josh met on the airplane to the wedding day—where they decided to actually get married. Do I believe they fell in love with each other in four days so much so that they agreed to marry each other and that when their marriage license was mailed to confirm their legal fate they were kind of more than okay with it? Meh, maybe not. But then again, do I believe that when Megan’s mother directly asked her daughter why she wouldn’t want the marriage annulled when she hardly knew Josh that Megan’s simple answer would suffice? Maybe. Megan literally says, “Because I love him… I don’t know. I just do.” Normally, this answer is not enough. But actually? The power of these words are in fact in its simplicity. She just knows. That’s what it comes down to. And really, isn’t that the purest and most powerful form of love there is? You don’t need to write an essay that’s Tolstoy long; you don’t need to make some PowerPoint presentation to justify your argument; you don’t need to know all the answers. You just know. It is, and that’s all there is. Is four days generally fast? Yes. But this is fiction, after all. And there’s the hopeless romantic in me that says who cares. If you know, you know.

But despite the fact that the book spans four days, Swank did a good job of pacing everything. I was still conscious of the fact that Megan and Josh hadn’t known each other even a full week before falling in love and deciding to get married, but nothing was rushed. Feelings and sex developed at a good speed between the two. Everyone’s reactions were appropriate no matter how extreme or odd. That made everything all the more believable, which was necessary to sell the essence of the story and the main relationship. Secondary Characters & Plots: Geez, these secondary characters. First of all, MEGAN’S MOTHER. Mother from hell, seriously. Controlling, demanding, manipulative, and far too concerned about appearances over the overall and genuine well-being and happiness of her children, especially Megan. Yes, Swank gave us a reason for her overbearing and meddling ways and strive for perfection, and yes, it made sense to a point. But that’s exactly. It made sense TO A POINT. This woman went way beyond that point, and even if her intentions were because she cared about and loved her daughter, clearly she should’ve opened her eyes a little more and seen that she had been making Megan miserable for a long, long time based on what she thought would help her daughter and her image in the long run. This woman was trying to overcompensate and her relationship with Megan suffered because of it.

Megan’s grandma was disturbingly funny. Libby, one of her best friends, was a little too flimsy for me, though at least she was relatively supportive of Megan. Blair, the other best friend, was far too critical and hard for me, but her attitude and behavior were also justifiable given what she’s been through personally. Yet still, Megan clearly needed people on her side though she was blundering her way through those days, and Blair wasn’t much help for someone considered to be one of her best friends. Noah, Josh’s brother, was… whatever. And go away, the real Jay Connors. No one wants you around. Bye.

I don’t know whether to consider Josh’s company’s problem a main plot or a side plot because it kind of had elements of both, but either way, it was adequately resolved. Favorite Part(s): I kind of already mentioned it, but Megan trying on both wedding dresses in front of Josh. The one her mother picked out—again, over the top and not Megan’s style because her mother totally commandeered all the wedding planning and went behind Megan’s back in doing so. But then Megan is allowed to try on the dress that she originally picked, and you could practically feel how beautiful the moment was coming off the pages of the book. You knew then that she was beautiful, that Josh thought she was beautiful, that Josh loved her, and no matter how the book turned out, at least Megan got that one moment of wearing the wedding dress she wanted in front of the guy she more or less wanted to marry.

AND THEN JOSH GOES AND BUYS IT FOR HER SO SHE CAN WEAR IT DOWN THE AISLE. Thank you Lord and Swank for giving me Josh, the sweetheart, and that beautiful moment. Final Thoughts: The Substitute was nice. Not exceptional necessarily but not dreadful or dragging. It was above average. You get your healthy dose of a fake relationship trope; you get good wedding detail stuff; you get a relationship that is more believable than not, actually. I’d generally recommend this. It was free off of the iBooks store too, so that helped. A little comedic, a lot sweet, and enjoyable overall.

#book: the substitute #author: denise grover swank #genre: contemporary romance #rating: four stars

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you-got-a-lotta-nerve-blog · 7 years

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So, why me?

So lets start with me. What makes me so special, why am I the guy to tell you how to manage your pain? Honestly? Maybe I am not. That is the thing about pain. Every kind is different, but there are some common threads in all of them so maybe everything I say will not help you, but some of it you may find yourself nodding in agreement to, or you might even learn a thing or two.

So I am going to do something my inner introvert is screaming at me not to do. I am going to blow the door open on my life and share with people a lot of personal details of how I got to this point so maybe you can see what a whole life in pain is like and how it can even be enjoyed and thrived in.

I promise, this is not a drama post, this is not to get attention, these event actually happened and this is just to show you that if your will is strong enough you can overcome anything and if you want decide to let it, it will make you stronger.

I was born premature and 2lbs, on the way to the hospital in the middle of a blizzard. Once I finally made it to the hospital my heart stopped 3 times. After a lot of prayers and an extended stay in the NICU I came home I started physical Therapy at a young age because according to the doctors my muscles were under developed for children my age. That is a nice way of saying I have mild physical retardation and poor hand eye coordination.

I was in PT until almost high school. Through most of my young life I was ambidextrous because my muscles would fatigue easily, so instead of letting my body do what the body does best; adapt, my school forced me to be right handed which caused me extreme levels of pain, and to this day my hand writing is horrible. I have never developed fine motor control. I can swing a sledge hammer with the best of them but thread a needle or doing up a tie for work? Takes 10 minutes and by the end of my I’m in excruciating pain. This was the first warning bell that the doctors were wrong. I was not physically retarded. I have discovered now later in my life that I have increased muscle spasticity which basically means my muscles don’t relax all the way, ever. Hence the reason I keep a descent level of muscle tone and level of strength, but tire easily. My muscles are always at a certain level of flexed.

As growth spurts continued they became very painful. My muscles hurt often, they cramped up. Often when I would wake up I would wake up with sudden full body muscle flexes that were extremely rapid. Almost like being hit like a bolt of lightning. No one listened when I talked about it though so it went ignored.

The thing was though. I was not an unhappy kid. The pain, the suffering did not make me bitter. It was a blessing. It opened me up to a whole new world. It made me empathic to my fellow man to the point where I learned to read other people’s mood just by their tone of voice, body language. It has become a very useful skill and a very rewarding part of who I am. One of the things that gives me the most pleasure in life is helping other people. Giving back to others is the spiritual balm that soothes the pain in my physical body. The truth is the amount of strain my body is going through is intense. The candle is burning at both end and has been since I was born. I know I won’t have the normal full life span. I’ve been at peace with that since like my early teens. So I do what I can to make this world a better place before the lights go out.

Through my early 20’s things actually went pretty well. Pain actually toned down and life was pretty normal. Until I worked a job that mistreated me and didn’t allow me proper break times. Long story short I had some problems with my GI system and some low back pain. The low back pain went away so I thought it was no big. Then I started getting widespread pain that got diagnosed as fibromyalgia. 6 years later turns out I have a bulging L4 and L5. Took the doctors 6 years to make that connection so there was no way for me to get the company to take care of what they did to me. The doctors treated me either like I was crazy, a pill chasers, or just tossed pain meds at me. No one actually wanted to try to fix the problem.

I was looking at wheel chairs because even with narcotic pain medication walking from one end of my house to the other was agonizing until out of desperation I went to see a chiropractor. I was just hoping to get some small level of pain relief. I was not hoping for miracles. I was at a breaking point trying to keep from jumping off the proverbial cliff.

The doctor (Whom I have yet to obtain permission to name yet) sat me down and shot straight with me. “You have already been through the system. I don’t know if I will be able to help you or not, but I will try. This is not a magic bullet. You have to do your part too.” I flat out told him I was a work horse, and that I would try anything at this point. I just want to get some pain relief.

First adjustment and I walked out of there feeling like he pulled a knife out of my spine. I went from taking 15 MG 4x of oxycodone and 50 mg 2x of Tramadol to just the oxy 1x to avoid withdrawl. I credit that man with saving my sanity. Ever since then I recommend chiropractic care to everyone I meet. Find yourself a good one if you are in any sort of pain at all.

Since that point I have been battling muscle atrophy to get back to the working world, and as of last year I started working again which is a huge deal for me. I almost ended up on disability but I kept fighting, kept searching, kept on advocating for my health. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with being on disability when you need to be, plenty of people who do need to be. I knew that I could get back to work with the right mixture of care and perseverance however. Just had to find the right doctors who were not content to feed me pills and write me off, and alternative medicine as part of the routine. Western medicine is not the only answer pills only go so far, most diseases are not bacterial or viral in the realm of pain related.

Currently I am under care of another chiropractor who is also doing amazing work for me. Dr. Ryan of Calhoun Family Practice in Clemson SC. He has helped me tremendously with my chronic migraines and headaches.

You would be surprised how much stress your body undergoes just in normal day to day life. Your spine can get shifted out of alignment without you doing anything out of the ordinary. Even if you are not in pain, Chiropractic care should be part of your health regimen. It will keep you healthty.

#personal

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