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quietmyfearswith · 4 years

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to build a home {dark!bucky barnes x fem!reader}

status — ongoing (?) idk i had a second part in mind but we’ll see

warnings — somnophilia (so non-con), male mastubration, unprotected penetrative sex (in my head the reader has birth control), rough sex, hints at breeding kink, slight praise kink, degradation, attempt at fluff, i think thats all but let me know if i miss something

word count — 9,351 words

a/n — i had this idea for an airbnb thing where the host was into the guest and perfect timing that @imanuglywombat was having a challenge, congratulations by the way on your achievement! and one of the moodboards was a mountain-themed one (the one at the left) and the prompt that i chose was By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top/I climbed the tree to see the world/When the gusts came around to blow me down/I held on as tightly as you held onto me which is an excerpt from the song to build a home by the cinematic orchestra. i tried not to directly quote the lyrics but instead imply it as best as i can. had fun writing this and was the longest fic i’ve ever written. feedback would be very much appreciated,, have a great day and stay safe guys!

masterlist

Bucky Barnes needed a vacation.

Needed, not wanted or desired, for it was what he required in order to function like a proper human being. Considering every bullshit he’s been through — the world war, the brainwashing, fighting for his life, dying and then being brought back to life — he was definitely entitled to a break.

After bringing everyone back, the team now strives to bring back order and peace. Bucky agreed to be part of the Avengers and SHIELD, but with a unique position. He’d train and prepare their recruits by whipping them into shape and go on missions only if he was deemed as an essential asset. The only reason he took that position because that was what Steve did as he passed down the title of Captain America to Sam. Stark too just became one of the representatives of the organization in order to focus on his family.

It was tricky at first — looking for food and water, source of electricity, gathering supplies, and having the money to do so. That’s when Tony suggested he put his a-framed house on an application called Airbnb. He was confused at first but his simple understanding was that someone would pay him if he agreed to share his house for a given number of days.

The suggestion worked well. Most of those who booked stayed one day and one night, the longest someone stayed was two days and a night. And it wasn’t because he used to be the Winter Soldier and they feared him, but simply because they needed a place to stay before heading up further into the mountains.

Despite the house having three bedrooms, Bucky only posted one being available. The other two bedrooms he prohibited the guests to stay on, even to enter, since those were reserved for him and Steve. Vacationers who stayed in here were very much respectful of his wishes and didn’t pry further more.

As he was watering the selection of plants, vegetables, and fruits that he has, he felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. Setting the watering can down, he pulled out his phone and noticed how there was notification saying that someone booked the available bedroom he had.

“Booked for 2 weeks?” He read out loud the details of how long the stay of his upcoming visitor would last. It was odd to say the least, but who was he to judge someone for their stay? Tucking the phone back to his pants, he noticed how Alpine was drinking from the watering can he put down, he stroked her fur and smiled when he purred and nuzzled her face further into his palm, “Looks like we’ll have someone staying with us for quite a while, Al,” the 3 month old kitten simply looked up at him and purred once more, “Be a good girl for me alright?”

Following the notice that someone was gonna stay in his house for two weeks, Bucky busied himself in preparing the house — which took only two days for him to do so. He made sure that the rented bedroom was cleaned and that the bed sheets were changed and cleaned. Cleaning up Alpine’s hairballs and fallen furs was something he also did in preparation.

It was a sunny Tuesday morning and he was sitting down on one of the patio chairs, reading a book with Alpine on his lap, when he heard a car pulling up. Setting the book down on the small patio table, he took in the Jeep Wrangler that was parking, but what really caught his attention was who stepped out of the car.

“Hi, I’m Y/N! Are you Bucky? The one who owns the place I’ll be renting for the next two weeks?” Her tone was gentle and friendly, but it was her smile that really captured Bucky’s attention even more. Shakily, he replied, “Yeah, it’s me. Nice to meet you,” he held out his right hand — his other hand had a glove to conceal the metal — for her to shake, to which she shook his hand.

“Oh there’s the cat you mentioned,” she unclasped her hand with his and took note of the fur ball that was standing beside Bucky — it was just really her way of getting his attention and wanting more rubs. “Oh yeah, this is Alpine, hope you’re not allergic or anything?” he wondered as he picked Alpine up and massaged her face a bit, to which she purred loudly.

Y/N chuckled at the scene in front of her, “Not allergic, just wasn’t around cats a lot so I’m not used to them.” Bucky admired her honesty and assured her, “Well don’t worry about her, she’s extremely well-behaved.”

Usually, the guests had no problem bringing in their things from their respective cars and into their room. But there was something about her aura and personality that made him want to stay close to her as much as he could. So he suggested that he help her in bringing in her items. “Did you run away or something? Because I’m telling you now, near the mountains might not be the ideal place to do so,” he joked as he carried two of her duffel bags. As he opened the door to where she’d be sleeping for almost half a month, he put down her bags on top of the dresser.

Y/N set down the backpack and messenger bag she had near the night side table, “Well if the mountains aren’t ideal, then why are you here then?” she retorted back as she sat down on the edge of the bed. Bucky leaned on the dresser and crossed his arms and looked at her with wonder, “So you’re gonna turn this back on me huh?” he teased her.

To which she giggled at, “I’ll tell you my reason for staying here for two weeks if you tell me how you ended up here,” she persuaded him. He sighed dramatically and smiled right after hearing her laugh again at his antics, “The simple answer? I’m here for a vacation. A much needed and a long overdue one at that. How about you?”

She pursed her lips and nodded, she felt that maybe there was more to that but didn’t want to seem nosy so she explained her stay, “Well I’m here to test out some mountain and hiking equipment. It’s my work actually we’re this company that advertises and reaches out to endorsers and tells them about certain products like that one,” she pointed to the duffel bags behind him, “I get to test them, give them an honest review of the products and then let them know.”

“Huh, that’s a unique job,” he said as he ran his hand on his stubbled chin, “Well, I’m gonna let you settle down for now. Feel free to roam around the house, the other two bedrooms are the only ones off-limits,” he informed her and started to make his way out of the bedroom when he heard her call out, “Thanks, Bucky! You’re a great host, so far. Just let me know when I annoy you too much!”

Though it was meant to be a joke, the super soldier thought to himself, Don’t think you will ever annoy me, baby girl.

Before it was even noon, Bucky found himself preparing pasta. What was unusual, is that he was making food enough for the both of them. Usually, he wouldn’t go out of his way to prepare meals for his guests; but he would allow them to use the kitchen as they please as long given that they clean it up after and place things back as they were. But there was something about Y/N that inspired him to make an effort.

Just as he turned the stove off and closed the lid with his left hand that had an oven mitt, he heard footsteps coming from the stairs, and he looked up to see her descending form and smiled warmly at her, “I cooked some pasta, just if you wanna eat or something,” he nervously mumbled as she finally stopped on the opposite side of where he was and sat down on one of the bar stools. “Smells good, I’d love to have a bite if you will too.”

Bucky then brought out two bowls and as he filled them with pasta, Alpine was clawing at his feet and her paws felt a bit warm to his legs that were exposed since he was wearing basketball shorts. As he handed her one of the bowls, he bent down and tucked his beloved kitten onto the sweater he wore, so her head was the only thing seen as it dangled from the neckline of his sweater. “That’s adorable! She just really loves you doesn’t she?” Y/N cooed watching how the kitten peacefully closed her eyes and snuggled closer to Bucky even though he walked around before sitting down beside her, she noticed as well how he didn’t care to remove the mitt on his left hand.

“I was surprised as well with how she loved human touch, which made me think that she isn't a cat but instead a dog, actually,” he shared as she looked at Y/N and smiled as she laughed as she ate. “Though I am curious as to why you’re wearing a sweater when it’s one of the hottest days of July?” As soon as the question left her mouth, she felt how there had been a shift in the atmosphere. How the fun and breezy energy they both were radiating earlier had been converted into something that was stiff and somber.

“I mean, you don’t really need to tell me,” she assured him right away, her right hand reaching for his left forearm and she gently caressed it even though she found it odd how his arm seemed to be more rigid than it looked like, “I was just worried that you might get too hot to the point of dehydration or heat stroke or something like that.” Bucky nodded and went back to ingesting the meal he cooked.

“You’re already hot, but I don’t want you to be too hot to the point you combust,” that comment of hers was something she muttered lowly. But it wasn’t soft enough to get past his super soldier hearing, “Did you say something?” Bucky asked and he tried his best for his facial features to not give away the fact that he heard her clearly. With wide eyes, she just shook her head and quickly filled her mouth with pasta to avoid explaining what it was she said.

Deciding to spare her from shame and embarrassment, he decided to change the topic by asking, “Do you have an itinerary for today?” He looked at her and saw how she had already finished her pasta and was making a move to wash her bowl and utensils, “I’m planning to go for a bit of hike — to test out some items like trekking poles, water jug, backpack, and this windbreaker they made me try out.”

“That sounds fun,” Bucky commented as he placed the fork on his bowl, waiting for her to finish cleaning up, “Would you wanna tag along with me?” as she looked up to ask him, she looked nervous. Perhaps she was filled with doubts and hesitation that she might seem invasive of his privacy, and indeed, that was what she was thinking about.

Smiling warmly at her, Bucky expressed his desire to join her in the hike, “I’d love to join you, doll.”

45 minutes had already passed since they started their hike and there was probably a few more minutes before they would finally reach the higher portion of the mountain. “I think it’s great you agreed to come along with me, Bucky,” the super soldier heard her mention behind him. He was taking the lead and guiding her as she followed him and held on to her trekking poles to stabilize her. “Why’d you think that, doll?” He looked back to her and held his right hand for her to take, to which she did and helped her go higher than to where she was currently.

She let out a breath, which made him chuckle at her antics, “Well for one, I wouldn’t have an amazing tour guide,” she teased him as she jokingly nudged his abdomen with her finger. Normally, Bucky would flinch or turn away when someone he doesn’t really know or is not completely familiar with touches him, especially when it was the metal arm. But this was already the third time she’d touch her and in those three times he did once did not find it uncomfortable.

“And second, I’d get lonely during this trip,” she concluded as she smiled brightly at him. “I’m glad to have joined you as well, doll.” The nickname he gave her made her blush to which he thought that the rose color looked good on her. “And I don’t know if you noticed, but there’s an amazing view behind me. So enjoy the view, doll.” When Bucky moved to the side, that was when Y/N had a chance to fully see the view, and it was unlike anything she has ever seen. The clear lake was breathtaking & the clouds were scattered in the sky though it did not shelter the sunlight. “Wow,” she breathed out and turned to her host and tilted her head when he saw his gloved hands reaching for his backpack and getting a blanket and laid it on the ground. As he sat on it, he patted the spot beside him, a cue for her to take the spot.

Putting her backpack down, she placed the trekking poles beside it before settling on the spot the man beside her patted. “You come here often?” she inquired, she was pretty sure he did since he knew how to get there quickly and safely. “Not everyday, just when I’m bored with housework,” he said as he took off the glove in his right hand.

She nodded and went to get the thermos from her backpack, as well as some chips and chocolates that she offered him, to which the super soldier opted for the chocolate. “So it means you are always here then huh?” she joked to which he laughed loudly, and she thought how adorable it was to see him crinkle the side of his eyes as he carelessly threw his head back in laughter. “I’m serious! You can only do so much housework before you get bored in your house!” she argued.

“Honestly, I’d rather be bored,” Bucky started as he munched on the chocolate she’d given, “For the longest time I was always busy, to put it nicely. And it’s a relief to be ridden of exhausting responsibilities.” Her heart ached at what he said, she might have not fully known what his work was but she could feel the exasperation in his voice. “Sorry for what I said, I was just teasing you,” she offered him a small smile.

Tickling her sides, he relished in the giggles she released, “I know, we don’t need to bring the mood down,” he assured her, “So, what is your review so far of the items you have?” His mention of it did remind her how she needed to take note of how she was satisfied or dissatisfied with the products, shuffling through the things in her backpack, she reached for the notebook which housed the feedback she had for different products.

Writing down her remarks, she also voiced it out for Bucky to hear, “The water jug did keep my water cold. Backpack’s material was not too heavy but it was able to fit all of my items. And this windbreaker,” she struck a pose which once again made Bucky laugh and it made her feel good to know that she can get him to laugh, “Did make me sweat but it’s too thin it’s making me chilly.”

Just as she mentioned how the windbreaker failed to prevent her from feeling cold, there was a gust of cool wind that when she felt it graze her skin, made her visibly shiver. Bucky didn’t like how she frowned on the sensation of being hit with the frosty breeze and wrapped her arms around herself; despite only wearing his sweater and a jacket, he didn’t have to react the same way thanks to the serum. He moved behind her and pressed his chest against her back, wrapping both his arms around her; his right hand wrapped around her stomach while the left hand rested on her thigh.

A sharp intake of breath signified how she was taken aback, but she didn’t find it awkward and instead she found herself instinctively leaning against his chest until the top of her head was just right under his chin. “Is this alright?” she wondered to him, and when she sounded so small, so vulnerable. As he smiled, he comforted her, “Wouldn’t have come close to you if it wasn’t alright, now would I?”

To hide the blush starting to form, she turned away from him and began to write on her notebook about her observations. They sat comfortably in silence; Bucky’s eyes wandered around the scenery, while Y/N was heavily focused on writing the feedback for the different products she got to try so far. The hand on her thigh that was gently caressing her and the steady yet strong heartbeat of the man behind her provided her with a sense of tranquility unlike anything she ever felt.

Leaving the pen on the inside of the notebook, she closed it and placed it beside her backpack. While still looking at the lake she shared with him, “I’ve always wanted to live by the lake.” Not having enough of her warmth and wanting to be close to her, he pushed himself even closer to her, to the point their thighs were now touching each other. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

She shrugged her shoulders and leaned back so the back of her head touched his right shoulder, “Always loved being in the water — whether I’m swimming or rowing a boat. Doesn’t matter what as long as I’m near the water I’m the happiest there.” As she said that he couldn’t help as his mind was filled with the images of the two of them living together and going for daily trips to the lake. And how they’d probably end up fucking or making love by the lake.

Managing to bring himself back to the present, Bucky suggested, “Why not live with me then? That way you’ll always be a few minutes away from the lake.” Her laugh was so loud that he felt the vibrations of it through his chest with how close they were. “Don’t wanna burden you forever, you know? But maybe when I’ve saved enough and I don’t know, have the ability to work from home, I might just move near a lake.”

He frowned at her thought that she considered himself a burden. They’ve spent almost a day and yet he knew in himself how he wanted to spend every day of his life with her. It might seem too soon for that, but he argued that he felt safe with her. That she made him happy. But there was this thought that lingered on his mind; that he was just deprived of affection for the longest time and now that someone’s been showering him with it, he doesn’t want to go a day without experiencing it ever again.

“Well, you’re always welcome in my house, it’s not really much of a home to me anyway,” the optimism in the first part was overshadowed by the sadness in the latter part of his statement. She looked over at Bucky and was saddened to see how his shoulders dropped and there was a sad smile on his lips, “What?” Because what else could she really say?

His eyes refused to meet her concerned orbs, and instead looked at anything but her. “With everything I’ve been through and done, it would be difficult for me to find someone to settle down with.” Upon hearing this, Y/N felt glum with Bucky's response and with how he looked as he said it. She held his right hand and squeezed it reassuringly, “Whatever it is you’ve done and been through is in the past. I’m sure that you’ve changed and grown from who you once were. You deserve to be happy, Bucky.”

What if I wanna be happy with you, baby? He thought to himself for a few seconds, and in a split second decision, he unclasped their hands and reached to where his left hand was still wrapped with a glove. “I’m going to be showing you something, and before you can ask me anything, I’d rather get everything off my chest first, alright?” Y/N looked uneasy yet at the same time curious with what he was going to open up to her.

Untangling his arms from her warmth, he first took care of removing the jacket he wore. She turned to face him and was eager to ask questions but chose to remain silent. As he placed the jacket on top of his bag, he removed the glove that shielded her from fully seeing the lack of flesh on his left hand and instead was greeted with metal.

Y/N lets out a loud gasp as she looks down on the prosthetic arm Bucky had. As her gaze shifted from his hand to his eyes, the super soldier could see how her face wrinkled not in pity, but in worry and concern. What happened? Who did this to you? Did it hurt? Are you still in pain? Those were the four questions that were loitering her mind and Bucky somehow had the idea that those were the things that she had in mind.

“I don’t know if you know, but I was the Winter Soldier. HYDRA, an evil organization, brainwashed me and made me do their dirty work. When they found me, I had fallen off a ravine which made me lose my arm. They gave me a metal one, to make me stronger and more invincible I guess.” Even though he only provided her a summary of what he’s been through, he failed to realize how a few stray tears escaped his eyes. Dainty and delicate fingers wiped his tears away and he smiled at the action.

They both were silent for a few moments, the hundred year old man was bracing himself for the moment Y/N was going to bid him adieu, and he wouldn’t blame her for who would want someone with so much baggage? “You said it yourself, Bucky, you were brainwashed,” she soothed him as her hands settled on his stubbled cheeks and her touch was feather-like and was giving him comfort unlike any other, “That wasn’t what you wanted to do. They forced you to do it. I’m sorry that that happened to you, but you don’t need to let your past define how your future will turn out to be. You’re free now, you take control of your fate.”

She ended her statement by placing a warm kiss on his forehead; the action had Bucky smiling and looking at her sheepishly with crimson in his cheeks. “You’re too kind, doll,” he shyly responded to her assurance. “I meant every word, Bucky. You deserve to be happy,” she then hugged him tight, her smaller frame snuggling into his larger one. With the side of her face resting on his chest and his chin resting on the top of her head, she failed to see how Bucky was smiling widely as a thought and plan came into his mind. I will be happy, baby. Soon, with you.

Following their small heart-to-heart talk, they both went home just as the sun set — not before taking a few pictures of course, mostly of Y/N because Bucky loved how the combination of pink and yellow complimented her skin — so he wanted to take photographs to remind him of this lovely memory. And as they both went home, they bonded even more as they ate dinner.

The following day, however, they both didn’t get to spend as much time as Bucky would have wanted. She told him during breakfast how today she’ll try the pocket WiFi that was given to her. And in the process of doing so she would be having meetings with some of her co-workers. Instead of sulking around, the war veteran tended to his garden, harvesting the vegetables and plants that he deemed were already ready to be eaten, he also washed and dried his laundry, and cleaned Alpine’s litter box.

By the time he had done all his chores, it was already quarter to 5 pm when he settled on continuing to read the book on the porch with Alpine once again laying on his lap. Today’s heat had been more cruel than it was yesterday and with his lovely guest not knowing about the truth of his left arm, he traded the long sleeves for a tank top paired with basketball shorts. Just as he was reading about the climax of the novel, he heard the front door opening and footsteps approaching him, “Hey Bucky, how you doing?”

The mentioned man placed his book down on the table and turned to her with a smile, “Busied myself with housework. Are you done with your test and meetings?” He hoped that she was done with her work, he already missed spending time with her and he wondered that maybe this was what Alpine felt like whenever she wanted to be snuggling next to Bucky. “Yeah I’m done for today! And I was thinking that maybe I can cook something? Was there something you’d like to have for dinner?”

The cheeky part of him thought of telling her how he’d love to have her for dinner but decided he did not want to creep her out. “Surprise me with you culinary skills, doll,” he challenged her and he chuckled with how she responded, “You bet! I’ll make a meal that will make you forget your name with how good it is!”

Throughout the entire time that she made the meal, he kept her company and the conversation between the two flowed effortlessly. Every possible topic that they could talk about, you can bet that they talked about it. And even as they were both eating supper, they both shared more about their personal life. Bucky shared about how things were back in the 40’s and how he missed dancing.; while she shared more about her family and the different jobs she had.

One thing that Bucky was more than pleased to find out was that she was single and had not been dating anyone for a while. After dinner, Y/N found herself wanting to sleep right away due to exhaustion of her work-filled day. But before she did, she asked Bucky if it was alright for them to go back to the lake since she wanted to go for a swim, to which he replied with, “If it’ll make you happy, doll, then I’ll do it.” She masked the giddiness she felt by telling him goodnight and how she couldn’t wait to go.

As the super soldier laid down on his bed, he couldn’t prevent the goofy grin forming on his lips as he recalled how close he got with one of his guests. He never imagined how she could have made this impact on him in a short amount of time. Though he failed to bond with her for the majority of the day, he reassured himself that tomorrow — and possibly the next few days — they’d both get to make up for it. But there was something inside him that seemed too impatient to wait, and instead was extremely eager to start compensating for the time they failed to spend with each other.

Which led him to where he was right now; walking out of his bedroom as he strides with purpose and like a possessed man making his way to where the girl who plagued his mind currently was peacefully sleeping. Quietly, he opened the door just enough for him to take a peek to see if she was startled by the action even though Bucky did so with caution. Not noticing any movement or reaction, he opened the door wide enough to allow himself to enter and closed it as he welcomed himself in her room. Standing at the foot of the bed, he couldn’t help but admire her sleeping form; she was laying on her right side with her right hand pressed to her cheek and her left arm propped down on her waist. He noticed how the end of the blanket that was draped over was along the middle region of her thighs, exposing her lower legs.

He stood there, marveling at how peaceful and how pure she looked. He imagined himself snuggling her frame and providing her with warmth whenever the night got too chilly. Or how he wouldn’t mind her using his metal arm as her pillow as long as he got to run his fingers through her skin in an attempt to lull her to sleep. Or how he would whisper sweet nothings and words of assurance to her should she awake due to a nightmare.

The wholesome and loving thoughts he had took a different turn when her left hand unconsciously bunched up the sheets and moved it away from her body, which exposed her unclothed body to the hungry eyes of Bucky. She laid there with no clothing of any kind and the blanket — which was now pooling between her under boob and just below her navel — now barely concealed her body. His gaze was now roaming around her body and hungirly took in the view; her breasts looking as if it was the most delectable thing he’d ever seen with her gum drop nipples all stiff due to the wind, her luscious legs were just begging to be touched and worshiped, and her cunt, that though he couldn’t properly get an entire view of due to how she was facing the wall but from from where he stood he can see how pretty and enticing it was with how she chose to groom it.

One thing that he was more than grateful for is that her ass was fully exposed and should he choose to sit on the chair that was right across where she laid, he would have gotten a great view of it; and so he did. Sitting down on the chair, he found himself lowering the boxer shorts he wore that suddenly became too tight for his cock that hardened. “Fuck,” he hissed as he began to slowly stroke himself, teasing himself and wanting to savor the view that he had.

From slowly running his hand up and down his shaft, those strokes became fast as his mind was filled with images and scenarios of him taking Y/N in various ways.

“Fuck Bucky, harder,” she moaned as she felt Bucky’s grips on her hips tighten before he controlled her body to match his thrusts, moving her along as he slid in and out of her as a response to her plea. Wanting to feel more of her, one of his hands left her hips to grip her shoulder and pull her to him so her back was pressed against his sweaty chest; to keep her steady and against his chest, the hand on her shoulder detached from her shoulder and moved to hold on to her breast, pulling and tugging on the swollen nipple.

“That what you want, baby girl? Need me to fuck you hard?” He teased her as her whines increased at the assault he was doing to her. She just nodded her head rapidly, but that wasn’t enough for Bucky, he let go of her breast and slapped both of them hard enough to elicit a reaction out of her, “I wanna hear you say it! Say you like getting fucked hard like a slut!”

“I love it! I love how you’re fucking me like a slut, Bucky!” she moaned out loud and found herself hooking her hand to his hand that wasn’t on her hip. The man simply smirked at how much of a wreck she was and he loved it. She guided his hand to her neck and his smirk became even more sinister and he let her know his appreciation, “Yeah you’re just a filthy girl aren’t you,” his grip on her neck tightened and he felt her tighten and got the hint that she was close, “And since I love my filthy girl, why don’t you come for me?”

Bucky knew he was nearing his climax, but he decided that the visual wasn’t enough for him; he needed the actual thing. Completely undressing himself, he walked towards where she was laying and turned her gently so she now laid on her back. “Goddamn you’re beautiful, baby,” he whispered as he kneeled on the bed and his knees were on the sides of her body. He stretched her left leg to the outside of his right knee, her inner thigh grazing his knee. While he lifted her right leg and let it rest on his shoulder.

Rubbing his right hand on her clit, he felt how wet she already was and slid a finger in, moving his finger around, he took note of how she was completely drenched. “I guess you pleasured yourself before sleeping huh?” Pulling his finger out and bringing it to his lips, his suspicion was confirmed as he tasted her sweet juices.

“This’ll be easier then,” he sighed as he pushed his cock in and slid in one swift motion thanks to her juices. He stared off with slow and long thrusts, checking to see if she’ll wake up — thankfully she didn’t. He then took this as his queue to give her harder thrusts, pulling out until his tip lightly brushes the opening of her tight canal and pushing all the way in with force until his balls were pressed tightly against her ass.

“Can’t wait for you to enjoy this when you’re awake doll,” Bucky rasped out in between his thrusts, which were now slowly becoming faster. The speed of his hips were causing the bed to shake and he feared that if it weren’t for his actions, then maybe the sound of the bed hitting the wall would cause her to regain consciousness. But she was so deep in her slumber that she didn’t.

“Gonna cum, gonna cum inside of you. Will mix my juices with yours,” Bucky moaned lowly. And he felt his climax nearing that his judgement was clouded and his sole focus was to let himself go. So he moved around in the bed until his feet hit the floor and spread her both legs wide open to the sides, all without pulling himself out.

Placing his hands on both her inner thighs, he pressed them down and didn’t hold back as he slammed his cock in and out of her pussy. His pelvis met her thighs with each thrust, his hands tightly holding on to her thighs which somehow made her clench down on him even more, his eyes hungrily taking in the sight of her breasts bouncing along with the power of his hips, and the tip of the iceberg was when she began letting out small and quiet whimpers.

“Shit, you’re squeezing me so well baby,” he breathed out as he slammed himself inside her and stayed planted in here as he felt himself release his load. Head thrown back and panting loudly, she whimpered a little and was clenching her pussy which milked even more of Bucky’s seed. She must be dreaming of someone fucking her, God I hope it’s me she’s thinking about, Bucky thought as he pulled his cock out until only the tip was inside her; he stroked the part of his cock that wasn’t inside her, making sure that every last drop of his seed didn’t drip into the bed and was instead all inside her.

After taking a few minutes to recover, he pulled out completely and positioned her in the bed prior to how she was before he came in. He grabbed his discarded boxers and put them on him. Before walking out of the room he went back to the bed, leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, “Can’t wait to swim with you baby girl.”

Arising from her sleep, Y/N stretched her body and rubbed the sleepiness off her eyes. She couldn’t help but grin at the memories of how she pleasured herself before she drifted off to dreamland and when she did, her subconscious was somehow able to project a scenario wherein she was getting railed by Bucky. The mention of his name in her mind had her blushing; she brought her fingers down to her pussy to inspect the aftermath of her masturbation and was surprised to see how wet she was and how much she orgasmed.

Before making her way down to greet her host, she first dressed up in her bikini, however she didn’t want to walk down right away only with the flimsy pair, so she wore a tank top and a pair of shorts on top of the swimwear. Making her way down the stairs, she saw Bucky relaxing on the couch and was on his phone, “Good morning, Bucky. Did you sleep well?”

She plopped herself down at the armchair opposite where Bucky was sitting, and the metal-armed man fumbled to pocket his phone and turn his attention to the girl who warmly greeted him. “I slept peacefully, doll. Where are you headed all dressed up like that?”

“I was hoping we could have brunch by the lake? And then swim afterwards?” She shyly suggested and it was adorable for the veteran to see her all shy and flustered, he didn’t have it in him to reject her idea. “That’s a great idea, doll! I’ve already prepared some food that I can just pack up in tupperwares,” just as he was about to head to the kitchen to do so she stood quickly and told him, “I can do it! My bag’s all ready and I’m dressed up so I can do all those while you get ready.”

He smiled and thanked her for volunteering, he let her know where the tupperwares and picnic baskets were before heading up to change. As he was changing in his room into a navy tank top along with a pair of shorts, he decided that today was the day. He was gonna make his move and let him know that he wants her here with him.

The drive to the lake had been peaceful; Bucky offered to drive and she accepted so she was left to admire the scenery as they both traveled to their destination. Once Y/N caught a glimpse of the lake, she had already been fumbling to unbuckle her seatbelt and before Bucky had fully parked the car, the front passenger door was already being opened and the woman beside him carried her bag as she excitedly ran towards the dock.

“You’re gonna hurt yourself, doll! Be careful!” He called out to her as he switched off the engine and moved to grab the picnic basket at the backseat. Catching up to where she was standing near the edge of the dock, she turned to him and smiled, “I’m sorry, I just get really excited when I see the water. Plus, it’s been forever since I got to swim,” her exaggeration in the apology had him chuckling and he simply put the basket down and took out the blanket he had and laid it out.

Kneeling down, Bucky then rummaged through the items on the basket, “What do you wanna eat, doll? Want to have some muffins? I also have some bacon if you want,” he looked up to see that his lovely doll was stripping off her top and bottoms, with her back facing him. She folded her clothes and placed it on top of her bag, she turned to him and smiled, “I don’t wanna eat, I want to swim first.”

The super soldier barely got to process the words that left her mouth as he was admiring the swimsuit she was wearing, “That’s a pretty bikini you have there, doll,” he mindlessly blurted out. She blushed at the praise and he noticed as well how she rubbed her luscious thighs and it got him thinking that maybe she had a praise kink. “It’s one of the eight swimsuits they sent me,” was all she said before she waived and ran towards the end of the dock and jumped as she splashed down on the lake.

Fuck, one of eight swimsuits? She’s trying to kill me. He thought to himself as he felt his cock start to harden at the thought of seeing her in her swimwear and possibly railing her as she wears it. But first, he thought he had to eat up before making those plans and desires come true.

Y/N was having fun just swimming around. The lake had clear and clean water. She was able to see her feet and the sandy floor through the water. The lack of seaweeds and other aquatic plants on the lake was something she was thankful for since she loathed swimming around and feeling something grazing her leg.

Quite some time had already passed since Y/N began swimming and Bucky was just sitting there as he ate and was staring at her every movement. “Come join me, Bucky! The water’s not too cold, it’s perfect!” he smiled and put the muffin he was munching on down and moved to take his shirt off.

Her mouth hung agape and a little bit of drool came out of her mouth as she gazed on the man’s body. He was toned and defined; her fingers ached to run it through his wide chest and shoulders and she would have also loved to feel his bulging arms wrapped around her. She was snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a big splash and felt the water moving against her.

“Hi there, beautiful,” having this Adonis of a man face her and greet her sweetly had her giggling. “Good for you to join me; was starting to think you didn’t know how to swim that’s why you didn’t wanna join me,” her accusation had him gasping and feigning hurt. “You really think that lowly of me, doll?”

Y/N swam away from Bucky, creating some distance between them; this had the man tilting his head to the side in curiosity. “Don’t tell me you’re easily hurt by that! I wonder what happens if I challenge you to a splash fight?” Just as she said that she began to flick her wrists to splash some water in Bucky’s direction.

They both were giggling as they both began to soak each other with water. After a while they both stopped and Y/N let her arms float on the water as she stared at the man adoringly; while he thought that it was finally time to speed things up. Swimming towards her, he erased the distance between them and held both her hands against his chest. He felt her breath quicken and she was staring at him with wide and inquisitive eyes.

Lifting both her wrists, he placed a long and sensual kiss on the insides of her wrists. A sharp intake of breath was heard from her lips and he rested her forearms on his shoulders as his flesh hand pulled her closer to him by the hips while his metal hand gently caressed her cheek, “Had your fun already, baby girl?”

With a flushed face she nodded and pursed her lips together, “Don’t do that princess, that’s my job,” Bucky reprimanded her as he brushed his metal thumb in her lips but quickly moved the hand towards the nape of her neck and pulled her close for their lips to collide. He swallowed her whimper of shock and took the opportunity to let his tongue inside her mouth.

Slanting his head, he deepened the kiss as his flesh hand moved to wrap her thigh around his hips in order to get their bodies as close as possible and to feel every inch of her. Bucky smirked as he felt her tongue dancing along with the direction of his tongue and when he felt her hands cup his cheeks he couldn’t hold himself back from placing both his hands to grab her bikini-covered bum and grind her core to his.

“Oh God,” she whimpered against his lips, as if she was starting to pull away; but Bucky didn’t want her to do so, so he chased her lips with his and planted it firmly against her, leaving her no room but to comply with what he wanted.

Her hands traveled down from his cheeks to his neck and down to his shoulders, where she anchored herself to separate her tongue from roaming around his mouth. Her chest was heaving up and down as she stared down at Bucky who was loving this out of breath and dazed state she was in, “What was that?”

Her question made him chuckle darkly before teasing her, “That was just a preview of what’s to come, baby,” this just confused her even more and she tilted her head but he simply removed his hands from her body and she whined at the loss of contact — which Bucky thought as completely adorable — but he kissed her forehead, “Enjoy your swim doll, a few more minutes then we go home, got it?” She nodded and watched as he swam his way to the docks and busied himself with drying himself up and packing up their picnic.

She shrugged off the million thoughts racing through her head and decided that swimming would probably help her clear her head.

Something in the air shifted as they both were driving home after spending nearly two hours by the lake. While keeping his eyes on the road, Bucky’s metal hand was on the steering wheel while his flesh hand was gripping and caressing Y/N’s thighs. He loved how she didn’t flinch when he did so and instead she enveloped his hand with both her thighs.

Upon arriving back at the home, Bucky opened the car door for her and she smiled and thanked him. As he went to retrieve the picnic basket, his doll went ahead to get inside the house and it was finally time for him to make his move.

Placing the basket down on the floor without a care, he grabbed her hand as she was headed for the stairs; her bag falling off her shoulders as a result. “Bucky,” she was cut off as Bucky planted his lips against her and pulled her by the hips to feel her skin against his. She moaned out loud and he smirked as he once again let his tongue inside her and began to roam her insides and massaged her tongue with his.

“I fucking need you, baby,” he rasped out without fully disconnecting his lips from hers, “You gonna let me have you?” she whimpered and simply nodded. This made Bucky happy, and to show his appreciation, he kissed her neck and her collarbones as his hands quickly ripped the material of her shirt against her. A loud gasp was let out, and it informed the man who was vigorously kissing her that she was turned on with what he did.

Placing his hands behind her hips, he guided her walk with him to the couch with his lips still attached to her hot skin. They both worked to remove her of her shorts before Bucky was pushing her to sit down on the couch. “Don’t take your bra off, remove those panties, I wanna see your ass,” he commanded as his eyes roamed around her body as he took his shirt and shorts off, revealing that he didn’t have any underwear on.

“Press your cheek against the sofa and put your ass up in the air for me, princess,” he groaned upon seeing her full ass on display. He smacked both her cheeks at the same time and chuckled as she shook her ass in response. One hand had a firm grip on her hip while the other stroked his cock and teased the tip on her clit. “You ready, baby? Want to feel my cock inside you?”

She nodded, “Yes please, Bucky, I need to feel you push your cock inside me,” by the end of her whining he had already slid inside her and pushed it all the way until she felt his balls slap against her ass. She let out a dragged moan as he let out profanities and praises about how she enveloped him well.

Pulling his hips back, he thrust right back in which made her moan once again. His other hand was now teasing her clit by rubbing it and he felt her coat his cock with more of her juices. “God, you feel like heaven, princess. Wrapping your tight pussy around me so good,” he threw his head back but his hips were doing the opposite. His pelvis was slamming deep and fast against her that her ass was feeling the friction of his trimmed pubic hair.

“It’s so good, Bucky. Love how you’re pounding me,” the praise and small amount of dirty talk was enough for Bucky to groan and drive his hips even deeper and stronger, if that was even possible. “Fuck you’re so dirty, doll. My dirty doll, right?” he asked as he wrapped a handful of her hair against him and pulled her against him; her back against his chest and he could her chest heaving as she struggled to catch her breath.

Untying her bra, he tossed it on the floor and both his hands began to twist, pinch, pull, and flick on her nipples. Palming her breasts, he continued to spur him on with his words, “Who knew how much of a filthy princess you were huh? That you were really a slut wanting to get fucked?” she whined out loud and this prompted Bucky to sit down on the couch and drag her with him; ending up in a position that would allow her to ride him. “Ride me, bitch. Ride me ‘til we both cum,” he was surprised with how she eagerly responded to his command.

She leaned back and planted her hands on his abs and began to lift her body up and down, moving her pussy in and out of his cock. With one hand resting at the back of his head, the other was slapping her ass that was bouncing up and down on him. “Only a slut like yourself knows how to ride a cock this good, baby,” his statement ended with a groan as she stopped her bouncing and was instead sitting with his cock fully inside her, and she began to move in slow and hard circles. As if she was grinding on his dick.

“God, I’m so close, you got me near my edge, slut,” Bucky groaned and slapped both her ass cheeks at the same time, “Face me, baby. Turn around and face me, without leaving my cock.” He grinned as she halted her movements and twisted her body so she was greeted with the sight of Bucky’s chest sweaty and a smirk planted on his lips.

He sat up from his lying position and sat up so their chest were pressed firmly against each other, “Are you close, baby?” She threw her head back and nodded as Bucky began to move his hips so he could match the way she was sliding up and down his cock. Slapping her cheek, not too hard but enough to get her to look at him, he growled, “Tell me, princess. Tell me you’re close and that you wanna cum.”

Her mouth opened but a moan came out of her, he gave her a particularly harsh thrust and she finally gave in, “I wanna cum, Bucky, I need to. Please let me cum on your cock.” He smirked, satisfied with her answer and took control of the tempo of the way she was riding him. Holding on hard enough on her hips, enough to leave marks, he began to lift her up and down on him; he was lifting her up so fast that she barely had time to breathe and the way he slammed her was so hard he could hear their skin slapping against each other.

“You’re squeezing my cock so good, baby” Bucky groaned and he felt how close she was but needed added stimulation to let herself go. He lowered his mouth to cover her nipple with his lips; the sensation of licking and sucking hard on her nipple coupled with the cruel hip thrusts he was giving into her was enough for Y/N to grip on his shoulders and plant her lips on the top of his head, “Bucky, fuck,” was all she was able to let out as a warning for the orgasm that washed over her.

After feeling her juices drip down, there was something primal in him that made him more determined than ever to blow his load; so he removed his mouth from her nipple and laid her down on her back and moved to lift her legs, phishing them to her chest. “You gonna take my cum, baby? Gonna let me put it all in you?” He was thrusting violently, there was no rhythm but just him ruthlessly sliding his cock in and out of her tight canal, his mind was filled with images of her staying here with him, building a life together.

“Bucky, I’m so sensitive,” she squealed, and the man just smirked and to her surprise she just slammed his hips faster. He looks beautiful like this, she thought, but there was a part of her that thought she might explode if he continued his brutal assault on her body; and she was starting to get sleepy. Bucky slammed his cock all the way in until his balls were against her ass and stayed there, “Fuck, you’re such a good girl,” he moaned as he emptied his balls and shoved all his cream inside her.

He looked down on his precious angel and smiled at the sight of her with her eyes closed, running a finger to her face, just admiring her post-sex glow and the way she was all sweaty. He leaned down to kiss her on the forehead, “You did so well for me, baby.”

Without removing his cock from her, he moved to carry her, with ease he then brought both of them upstairs and into his room. Upon entering, he saw that Alpine was still lazily sleeping on the bed he got her and smiled, “I got you a mommy already, Al,” he whispered and felt himself harden again at the nickname he’d given the lovely girl in his arms.

Laying the both down, he wrapped both his arms around the sleeping beauty beside him and kissed her lips once more, “Welcome home, doll.”

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vigxilance · 4 years

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yandere!MJ X Reader X yandere! Peter Parker - Jealousy

Please be nice! This is my first time writing as Peter and even doing a one-shot on here, so there might be a few mistakes. Please bare with me, I’m still learning after all! TRIGGER WARNING: Murder, Stalking, stealing

The sun shone through your window, it was near the end of the school year and you were left scared of what the future would hold. This was your senior year and if you had to be completely honest you had yet to find a college you wanted to go to... hell, you didn’t even know what job you wanted to have. At least you had your best friend from elementary, Mary Jane Watson. Everyone called her MJ. You and MJ used to go on and on about how you would grow up to be princesses when you were older. It was rather saddening knowing how at one point you knew exactly what you wanted to do with your life and suddenly you were just so lost. After entering middle school things just went terribly wrong. But you had also met two of your other closest friends, Peter and Ned. If you had to be completely honest you were convinced Peter was in love with MJ. Sure, he always spoke of a girl who went by the name of Liz. But you still saw chemistry between Peter and MJ. Unknowingly, both Peter and MJ were madly in love with you. Neither realizing the other loved you in that way. Not even you did. You just though MJ was always wanting to hang around you because of how close you were and Peter rarely spoke around you and always got flustered when you two were left alone, that’s where you got the idea that he had a crush on MJ. If he was so nervous around you it must have been because he was scared he’d accidentally reveal his crush to his crushes best friend... or so you thought. There was only ever a few small things that even hinted at him or even MJ loving you as more than a friend, at least small things that would catch somebody's eye. Secretly, anytime MJ would come over she would steal a sweatshirt of yours and keep it for later when you weren’t there and lets not get started on peter. Seeing as Peter had his powers, he would web up into your room when you were off doing something and steal things such as underwear, shirts, quite literally anything he could get his hands on. He’d also stay perched on the fire escape that led to your room, just watching you. Oh how he loved the way you’d stay up all night dancing, how you had a habit of leaving your window open at night (that of course worried and led to him staying longer just to make sure nobody snuck into your room and took you while you were sleeping), every little thing you did he adored. In his eyes you were the most beautiful girl on the planet, you were his darling and he would do anything for his darling.

The sound of your alarm buzzing woke you up, along with the sun that was shining into your room. As usual a gentle breeze blew your curtains around, you’d forgotten to close your window again.That meant you would have to get up and shut it, you didn’t need any break ins. Little did you know, there had already been multiple. You slowly rose out of bed and went to the window, looking outside and smiling softly. It was such a beautiful day. Summer was coming and although you knew soon your friends would be off at college or finding jobs, the thought of all the summers you’d spent by the pool with MJ seemed comforting and left you wanting to finally be able to do that again. Eventually you snapped out of your thoughts and shut the window, turning and heading over to your closet. After a few minutes of looking, you decided on a light blue wrap dress and a pair of sandals. It was perfect for a warm spring like day. Except one thing was missing, your favorite pair of underwear. Where could you have placed them? Little did you know, earlier that week peter had snuck in and stole them from your dresser. But you didn’t have time to go search for them, so you settled on a random pair instead. you headed to your desk and gathered all your books, placing them in your backpacks and then you were off to class.

Peter had memorized your schedule and knew exactly what time you headed off to school, so he stayed hidden within the shadows waiting for you. He didn’t want you to be in any danger after all. That would just be terrible. As you walked by Peter’s eyes lit up, there were you. His beautiful love. He quietly waited for you to get ahead of him, before rushing out and quietly followed close behind you. As usual you had your headphones in, he always wondered what you were listened to and it pained him knowing he couldn’t run up to you and listen to the unknown song you were listening to. After a short walk the both of you appeared at the school, peter ducked behind a tree and watched as you approached MJ with the sweetest smile on your face. That damn smile. It always left butterflies in Peter and MJ’s stomachs. Peter watched MJ stand up and head to you, pulling you into a hug. That was just so unfair. Why her? Why did MJ get your undivided attention while he was just some kid that lurked around you and MJ. He pursed his lips and came out of hiding, rushing over to you and MJ. “h-hey (y/n)... MJ.” he said, giving you an adoring smile. To anybody else, it was clear that it was you he was interested in and NOT MJ. But within your little group it was very unclear. “Oh, Hey pete.” MJ said, giving peter a annoyed look. One thought went through her mind ‘Why does he always have to show up when i’m around (y/n)’. You smiled at both of them, snapping MJ out of her thoughts as she looked at you with a loving look and making Peter perk up. “Hey Peter, I was just about to walk to class with MJ, if you’d like to come?” You suggested, earning a death glare from MJ and an excited nod from peter. With that you and both of them were off to class, of course they both brought you to class. But the minute you entered your classroom, MJ whipped around and glared at Peter causing him to raise an eyebrow.

“why do you INSIST on following (y/n) around its like your... your obsessed with her?” MJ exclaimed, she wasn’t exactly wrong. He did in fact have a box full of your stuff stowed away in his closet for safe keeping, but she did as well. There was clearly tension between the two and both seemed to want to attack each other. “I’m not obsessed with her! Where’d you get that idea?” Peter asked, nervously looking anywhere but at MJ. He really hoped she hadn’t seen him lurking around your house or even breaking in. She was always around after all, what was stopping her from seeing? Nothing. MJ clearly wasn’t buying peter’s answer, as she was staring Peter down like a villain who was attempting to steal her beautiful darling from her.

“Well, why were you around (y/n)’s house last night? It looked like you were trying to watch us! And you just followed her down the street, I SAW you!” she told him harshly, that’s when the panic set in. He couldn’t just tell MJ he was uncontrollably in love with you, besides, why did it even matter to her? It wasn’t like she was your girlfriend or something, although she desperately wanted to be. Peter quickly shook his head, this was terrible. She couldn’t expose him for following you. It would scare you and he just didn’t want that. You were to dear to him. He didn’t want to lose you. “W-What?!” He exclaimed, trying to pretend like he had no clue what MJ was talking about. Lucky for him, MJ stopped trying to bug him and stopped questioning him any further. She would just have to wait and see if he came around your apartment later that night. You and MJ hung out after school everyday, so she knew that it would be easy to catch peter. “Whatever, Pete. I have class, bye...” and just like that she was gone, leaving a confused and nervous peter behind. Peter turned and watched as she walked away, raising an eyebrow. He’d have to be extra careful tonight, he knew that.

Later that day the usual routine you’d had for months continued, you left your last class and were instantly greeted by MJ who walked you home. You entered your apartment with MJ, the two of you smiling and giggling as you did so. Peter following close behind, he climbed up the fire escape and slowly peeked in. You and MJ were doing homework, completely oblivious to Peter being there. At least thats what Peter thought, you were in fact oblivious. But MJ wasn’t, she was waiting for that moment. To catch Peter watching her darling and being an absolute creep, she had yet to see him but was waiting for him to show up. Since she hadn’t seen peter, she ended up taking one of your shirts and subtly putting it in her backpack. You had no idea, but Peter did and now he was enraged. He felt he was the only one allowed to do that. Not MJ.

Then they both made one wrong move. MJ turned to look out the window and Peter peaked in. Just like that Peter was rushing to get down without making any noise, that slowed him down enough for MJ to tell you she was heading outside to grab something and then rush down to catch peter. Peter was rushing down the alley between your apartment building and the one across from you, MJ following close behind.

“PETER! GET BACK HERE... NOW!” MJ screamed after him, causing him to stop walking and turn around. There they were, two people in love with one darling. There was no way this was going to end up okay. Peter had an angry look in his eyes, knowing what MJ had done. She had stolen your shirt and he found it wildly inappropriate. “Did you really steal her shirt?” Peter called out to her, clenching his teeth as he stared at MJ with a menacing look. MJ shrugged, stepping uncomfortably close to Peter. “I don’t know, were you watching us through the window?” She responded, crossing her arms and narrowing her eyes. “she is MINE peter, she is my best friend and soon to be girlfriend. Just you wait!” she told him stubbornly, Peter stepped even closer and shook his head. “No, MJ. She is MY soon to be girlfriend, you’re... you’re psycho!” Peter exclaimed, throwing his hands up in anger. MJ shook her head “no, you are! Stop following (y/n)” She responded, pushing him back and watching him stumble a bit. Then the look in Peter’s eyes changed, he was angry before. Now he was enraged. “For the last time MJ, (y/n) is MINE. You will stop stealing her attention or else i’ll.. i’ll..” he tried thinking, what would he do? But then MJ gave him his answer. “or what, peter? You’ll kill me? Try it, she’s my best friend! My soulmate!” she shouted, instantly Peter went and grabbed her. She tried pulling away, but at this point it was to late. He quickly snapped her neck and threw her to the ground, feeling instant regret. That was his darling’s best friend... your best friend. He didn’t even feel bad about killing her, all he felt bad about was taking something like that away from you. But he was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard you come running out of your house, his heart dropped as he saw your face when you saw MJ’s lifeless body below him.

“(y/n), I can explain...”

#yandere #yandere!peterparker #yandere peter parker #yandere!mj #spiderman #spiderman one shot #spiderman fanfiction

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queen-in-the-shadows · 3 years

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Be Your Own Anchor Chapter 3

Warnings: timeskip (if thats a warning??) Um, kinda short, another update should be coming later today as well.

I wake up in my bed with a start, I could have sworn the feeling of mulch against my skin was real. I shook myself from the weird and overly realistic dream, glancing at my phone for the time. 5:59, time to get up. I head to my bathroom, taking a second glance, and then a third in the mirror as I see a few leaves and twigs in my hair and what looks like a small layer of dirt on my chest and face. I started pulling the leaves and twigs from my hair, mortified as to how I could have ended up with them and the dirt on me. “What… what happened?” I brushed my hair one last time before turning on and stepping into the shower, washing up quickly before stepping out to grab some clothes. I combed and dried my hair before sitting at my vanity, doing basic makeup to detract from the bags under my eyes. I had cut most of class yesterday, not as if my parents cared at all, not if I held at least a 3.5 GPA. I brushed my teeth quickly, skipping breakfast, and grabbed my shoes, backpack and purse, heading out to my car to make the trek to the school. With the boys standing at my locker, I knew they weren’t here long. Finally reaching them, I opened my locker door, starting to place the books I wouldn’t need until later inside, before it was almost shut by a very pretty, yet random girl, and Stiles was vying for her attention.

“I love your jacket! Where’d you get it?”

"Uh, my- my mom helped me find it when I was in (hometown)..." I sent the boys a confused glance as I answered her, my eyebrow quirked.

"And you are my new best friend." The girl smiled at me before she turned to go talk to another boy.

"And that was...?" I trailed off, my question obvious, glancing between the two boys in front of me.

"Lydia Martin." Stiles told me, as she walked back towards us. I realized then that she had the next class with me, and she pulled me away just as I managed to shut my locker and wave a pitiful goodbye to the two boys.

My first day back in nearly 4 weeks, and I had only just finished off the first 3 periods of the day, turning in the absent work that had been brought to my house (by Stiles of course) and asking someone from each class to borrow their notes. Finally, the bell that signaled the end of third period rang, dismissing me to head to lunch and find the boys, where I saw them almost immediately. I walked towards them, seeing a blond-haired boy with a scarf around his neck. "Hey guys! Aren’t ya gonna introduce me to your friend?" I smirked, taking a long enough look at him to eye him up and down, a smirk now pulling at his lips as I sat down. Stiles scoffed, clearing his throat and rolling his eyes at my antics.

"Yes, sir?" I ask, my lips in a pout as I look at him through my lashes, trying to hold back a laugh as I hear the blond give a small laugh, only for Stiles to scoff once more. I genuinely enjoyed playing like this with the boys.

"(Y/n), the scarf-obsessed pessimist there, is Isaac." Stiles rolled his eyes, pointing at the boy before dropping his hand. I hadn’t been to school since the day I met Lydia, having to leave to go sit by my grandfather’s bedside in New York, so neither knew that what we had joked about, Scott and I being werewolves, was real- at least for one of us. I had ended up locking myself up with some silver chains on the night of the full moon, too nervous not to- even if I did think it was all a joke, better safe than sorry. The last thing they knew about my bite, was that it disappeared, much like Scott’s had. Stiles lowered his voice, "But, seriously, I did some research on what happened, what could cause a bite to go away like that…" I didn’t need to involve these boys, I wanted to make sure they didn’t know. I didn’t want them to be in danger. I was getting angry, annoyed with Stiles’ prying.

“Let it go Stiles. I’m fine, Scott is fine, and who knows- maybe we just thought we were bit and instead we just bruised ourselves or something!” I knew I was bit. Could prove it now. But I wouldn’t, because as much as his prying annoyed me, I wanted to keep the boys away from this life. Besides, he was the one trying to convince me that wolves don’t live in California. Well, he was partially right. I hid my hands under the table, glancing down to avoid looking in their eyes, I could tell my own had changed color once again. I needed to control it better, I needed to not be angry all the time. Couldn’t he feel my distaste for this topic?

The next thing I knew, Stiles had said something random about wolves possibly being back in California, and I had met his eyes, a low but soft growl coming from my chest. I took in a large breath, holding it as I dropped my head again just as fast, having seen all three boys’ eyes go wide. My hands had tightened into fists, my nails sinking into the palms of my hands. I could hear Stiles’ heartbeat having sped up just a bit, but Isaac and Scott both had even beats, not nervous or scared in the slightest.

I saw a hand starting towards my own, before I pulled away, tucking them around myself. “How long?”

“What? How long for what?” I feigned innocence, having calmed enough to know I could have some semblance of control over my eyes, looking around the table as though I had no clue what they meant. Scott’s eyes seemed to reflect my own, or what my own could be, having turned a bright, glowing, golden yellow for a fraction of a second. I gasped. “Oh my gosh…. What a cool trick! Show me how you did that! The yellow is so pretty, you had to have used lasers or something, didn’t you?” I rambled on; I might as well commit to the act. Isaac was the next to do the same thing.

“We need to go see Derek; he can help you.”

“What do you mean help me? Help me make my eyes flash pretty?”

“(Y/n), we know you know what were talking about. The bite. What happened on the full moon for you, (y/n)?” Scott was the one to speak up, calling me out on the act. I paled, my heart stopping for a moment before I began getting angry again. “We need to go see Derek.”

“First of all, that’s none of your business. I didn’t hurt anyone and that’s all you deserve to know. Second, I’m not ditching school on my first day back. And third, I’m not going anywhere with you guys when you’ve been like this for at least as long as I have now.”

Isaac took over for Scott, “(Y/n), we need to go to Derek’s. And you need to calm down, before something bad happens and you wolf-out on us and everyone here.”

I looked up at him, not taking kindly to being told what to do, but knowing he had a point. A second later, there was a hand over mine, resting on my thigh and rubbing circles over the back of my hand. I looked over at Stiles who sent me a small smile, and I released a huff of air. I may be only annoyed now, but at least I wasn’t going to wolf out.

“I’m sorry for having brought this up.” He sent another smile my way, and I nodded, before looking to where his hand still grasped my own. “Oh, uh… sorry!” His cheeks had turned a light shade of pink and I chuckled, before sending Isaac the best bitch face I could manage.

"So, Isaac, why are you telling me what do?” I received no answer, only a blank, worried look from the boy. "Well...? You gonna answer the question or not, playboy?” Again, he may be cute, but I don’t take orders from anybody, and especially not without good reason, and I have no problem calling someone out when need be. The boy only chuckled, shaking his head back and forth a few times before motioning for Scott, Stiles and I to stand.

"Come on. We're going to go see Derek."

“No. I’m going to class. You can go see Derek. Or wait until after school. That’s the choices.”

#stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles x reader #stiles stilinski #teen wolf #teen wolf x reader #bianca writes

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riot-in-reverie · 4 years

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Okay here's my ToG fanfiction. The first parts edited and the second is not. You can probably tell where that line is. Anyway I hope you enjoy it. Some of the text isn't italicized or whatever on here so try your best!

Chapter one

Summer break was over. Aelin was up bright and early for her first day of her junior year of highschool. Standing before her mirror, she picked out her outfit, then got dressed. She returned to her mirror, her steady hands applying light makeup to enhance her features slightly; not that she needed it, though, as she was already beautiful.

Nearly an hour later, she was satisfied with her look. She stepped outside her room to grab her bag just as her phone rang. Picking it up, she smiled as she noticed it was from her best friend, Lysandra.

“Hey, Lys! How’s it going?” Aelin chatted happily on the phone with her friend. They had known each other for years, but that didn’t mean they were always friends. In fact, they had a pretty rough history-- one that included anger, jealousy, and a lot of dresses.

The two agreed to meet outside the school doors. With that, Aelin ended the call, grabbed her keys, and got into her car to drive to school.

…

Aelin hopped out of her car and locked it, throwing her keys in her bag before turning and walking towards the school. Anytime someone looked her way, she’d flash them a smile and wave. She kept an eye out for new students, but saw no one unfamiliar. If there are any, she mused, they’re either inside already or going to be late. Walking up the path to the doors, she greeted Lysandra. Lysandra looked stunning as ever; dark hair cascading down her back with slight curls, sharp features capturing the attention of anyone nearby. She was wearing a long green dress, one that flowed around her as they walked, making Aelin feel like she was walking with a goddess.

“A little cold for a crop top, isn’t it?” Lysandra asked, nodding at Aelin’s shirt.

“A small price to pay to turn a few heads,” Aelin replied, shrugging. “We’re gonna be inside, anyway. Come on, Let’s go!”

Grabbing her friend’s hand, Aelin rushed up the stairs and entered the building.

“So, what’s your first class?” Lysandra questioned.

“English,” Aelin replied. “speaking of which, I should probably get there soon. See you later?”

Aelin gave Lysandra a hug before running off to class.

Thankfully not late, Aelin slipped into the classroom, heading for a seat near the windows. She set down her bag, when--

“Aelin?” Aelin turned at the vaguely familiar voice. Her eyes met crystal blue, which looked back at her gently. She noticed the messy black hair, cheeky grin, and far too fancy outfit. It could only be one person.

“Dorian?” Aelin all but squealed. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tightly. “How are you? I didn’t expect to see you in this class! I thought you’d be taking some fancy, extra-hard, extra-homework classes.”

Dorian just laughed and hugged her back. “Don’t worry. Most of my classes are; I just gotta take one easy one.”

Aelin pulled Dorian over to one of the nearby seats, forcing him to sit next to her.

“Oh great, now you can steal my pens, too.”

Class started before Aelin could say something back. The teacher started roll call, and even though Aelin had to correct the teacher on her name (again), she had a feeling it would be a good day.

…

That feeling was soon crushed. Near the end of class, the door opened, and a girl stepped through. She had pale skin and raven-black hair, and was wearing a ruffled purple dress. Everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at her, but she didn’t seem to notice. Instead, her eyes wandered then fixed on Dorian. Aelin glanced between them and frowned.

“Dorian. Miss Tardy is looking at you.”

Dorian looked up from where he was packing his bag. They seemed to make eye contact, and recognition flashed in his eyes. He quickly tore his eyes away and resumed packing. The girl went up to the teacher, and everyone resumed what they’d been doing. Listening in on their conversation slightly, Aelin learned that the girl’s name was Kaltain Rompier.

As class filed out five minutes later, dorian and Aelin walked together. “So, that new girl,” Dorian started. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

Aelin responded without hesitation. “Her dress reminded me of bruises.”

-----------

(unedited)

Aelin's first thought when she walked into the gym was "no" the second thought she had was "hell no" it was bad enough she had forgotten to bring her gym bag but what made this absolutely awful was that her cousin Aedion was in her gym class. Now normally she wouldn't mind sharing a class with her cousin. She and her cousin were actually very very close and grew up together, but when they were put in a situation that could be turned competitive you better believe they were gonna make it a competition. This normally wouldn't bother her either but her cousin being a sports and athletics addict who practically lived for gym class would not miss this opportunity to try and show her up. She sighed knowing she couldn't miss her first day of gym class. She'd have to get her cute outfit sweaty. As soon as she stepped foot in the gym she was almost knocked over by a powerful arm being thrown over her shoulder. She caught her footing and turned around and hugged her cousin "hey Aedion" he hugged back with a smile

"you look nice today"

"Of course I do I always look nice"

“Yeah but why are you wearing that in gym class?"

"Well I…"

"You forgot your clothes didn't you?"

"How'd you know?"

"I can't believe you forgot your clothes on the first day of school!"

"Whatever"

"Alright well get ready to run"

She sighed and nodded. Gym class preceded exactly like she thought it would. At first everything was going smooth until they lined up for push ups. Aelin looked to her left and saw Aedion looking at her.

"What are you at?"

"14 you?"

"20"

She scowled and started going faster. When the whistle blew she had done 58 and she felt her arms where about to fall off. She stood up and took her cousins towel ignoring his protests and wiping her face off. She threw it back at him hitting him square in the face. She smiled as she watched him yank it from his face but let her smile turn into a frown as she felt someone walk up behind her. She turned around to see a Male Towering over her. She crossed her arms at him

"can I help you Rowan?"

"Why are you wearing that?"

"Cause I want to"

she didn't understand why she was getting so much trouble for this? Has no one forgotten gym clothes before?

"You're only wearing half a shirt" Rowan said nodding at her crop top

“And that's way too tight of a shirt" she responded pointing to his skin tight tank top where his muscles showed through. "Guess it does draw attention away from your awful tattoos" she shrugged and spun on her heel. She could practically feel Rowan scowling behind her as she picked up her bag. The bell rang and Aedion ran up to her dressed in his regular sports jacket and jeans.

"What was that all about?"

"What was what all about?"

"Rowan"

"He was complimenting my outfit of course"

"Uh-huh" Aedion nodded not believing a word of it "well I gotta get going only one more class to go!" He ran off eager for the day to be over. Aelin sighed and looked at her schedule. She smiled her last class of the day was Theater Arts with Ms. Florine a teacher she knew quite well. With a grin on her face she hurried off to the theater. She burst in the doors and ran to hug Ms. Florine caught Aelin and spun her around. The two stood there in a warm embrace for quite a while before Ms. Florine patted Aelin on the back and told her to take a seat. She turned and saw a girl in black laced up half shirt, dark torn up jeans, buckle boots, a red leather jacket, and dark makeup slouching in a chair. She had seen this girl before but never really talked to her. Though she has definitely seen her around. She was kinda known around the school for being that bad girl kinda stereotype. All the Blackbeaks that passed through this school were like that so it was no surprise that she was no different. She decided it might be time to get to know her. She wasn't scared of her she could take her down if it came to that. Aelin sat down next to her

"Manon" she said

“Aelin'' the Blackbeak said and tilted her head towards her in greeting. there was a moment of silence before Aelin opened her mouth to say something but Manon wasn't looking at her. She was looking at the doorway where a man who Aelin knew well had just walked in. Based on the look on Manon's face she seemed to know the man as well. They both growled the same name...Lorcan. Lorcan sat down at the opposite side of the room and grinned at them "hello ladies' ' he purred. They both snarled which just made Lorcan grin more. Aelin shook her head and looked away back to Ms. Florine but Manon kept Lorcans gaze. Eventually Lorcan looked away and Manon won the first battle of the year. This normally wouldn't have caught Aelin's attention but she had never seen Lorcan look so nervous and it made her happy. Theater continued and she met a girl named Rena Goldsmith who had the most magnificent voice Aelin had ever heard in her life. She really hoped by the end of the year she could be friends with her and they could make music together. This thought is what ended the school day for her. She went to her locker to put away her school stuff and gather her stuff to go home. The school bell rang just as she slung her backpack over her shoulder. A few moments after the bell she saw a familiar figure rushing down the hall. She wondered how Aedion had gotten from the math department to the entry hall in 5 seconds but then again he really hated math. She hurried out as well and made her way to her car. She unlocked her car and got in throwing her purse in the back. She started the car and drove home

Authors note

Hello! I am the author of this fanfic its a pleasure to meet you. This is the first fanfic I've ever written so thats why its not the best but I'm trying so it might improve. Let's hope it does! I want to warn you that some chapters will be super long and some will be super short. Sorry if I update so rarely. Sometimes i just get bursts of inspiration then go months without touching a keyboard. If you guys like the story I will try to update more so please let me know. I also really want your guys input because this is as much for you as it is for me. Maybe even more for you. So if you want changes or have advice please send them my way. Also i have absolutely no editing skills so i have my own editor (thank her for her patience with me and her talent) but I'm a very impatient person so i may just update without editing. So look out for that.

So yeah that's the end of my little speech thing. You can probably expect these often. Have fun reading and have a good day!

#throne of glass #fanfiction #fandom #fangirl #fanfic #sarah j. maas #sarah j maas #aelin galythinius #rowan x aelin #aedion ashryver #lysandra #lorcan salvaterre

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nie7027 · 5 years

Text

DadReigen week day 3: Sports | Lessons

AHHHHH I DONT KNOW WHAT I’M DOING BUT AT LEAST I AM DOING SOMETHING

well heres the second (third, sorry mods of the event it wasn’t my intetion to disrupt the order ) fic for dadreigenweek with some Shou feelings(or at least tried)

I hope you like it

Sports

“It’s here” Reigen said at last stopping in the green open field.

“Here?” Shou glanced around and pointed with his thumbsat the monkey bars a few meters away from them “It’s a park Reigen. What kind of second rate spirit would haunt a park?” he deadpanned.

“What do you even know about spirits?!! Stop talking and let’s get to work. I’m the specialist here and I know what I’m talking about!”

“Sure you do old man. Sure you do” said Shou knowing fully well there wasn’t any spirit here. When Reigen turned his back to keep walking Shou stuck his tongue at him but still followed him.

Truth be told Shou had nothing better to do with Ritsu and the others being at school. He had already exhausted all his options and was dying of boredom, so when Reigen had asked his help this morning with a job he was very quick to accept. Too quick actually. I

f he had known it would require this much walking he would have thought it better.

But well this is what he deserved for sneaking into the office at unholy 8 in the morning and scaring the shit outta of Reigen.

Shou chuckled at the memory of the first time when Reigen took hold of his umbrella and lounged to attack what he thought was a intruder, screaming the entire time

It made Shou realize he should tell Reigen to put better locks at the office because if thats was how he planned to defend against an attack then he had very poor chances. It had been very easy for him to block the umbrella.

Reigen just groaned when Shou said this to him the next day.

“If some people just entered through the door like any decent person, I wouldn’t have the need to defend myself “

“Where’s the fun in that?” had said Shou grinning.

Reigen suddenly stopped and waved his hand “What are you laughing at? We are wasting time. Spirits wont be exorcised by just chattering!”

Shou decided to play along

“So, what exactly are we doing here? What was so important that you had to explicitly ask me for help instead of your oh-so-helpful-goodie-two shoes Serizawa?” Shou had to stop himself from cringing, that had come out more bitter than he had intended.

If Reigen noticed he didn’t acted on it.

“Even Serizawa has his personal matters to attend. Besides it’s not like he isn’t doing his work, someone had to stay back and look after the office” he then shrugged the backpack he had brought along and started rummaging looking for something “As for what we are doing….We are going to do and old ritual of sorts known from warding off evil spirits and attracting good energies-AJA HERE IT IS”

Shou had to do a double take at what Reigen was proudly holding in his hand.

An old worn out baseball ball.

Shou knew the man was a fraud but he was starting to think he had gone nuts.

“Reigen you do realize that’s a baseball ball right? Like do you realize you are holding a toy?”

“Of course I know what it is!” he said tossing the ball at Shou who caught it reflexively “It’s the most important part of the ritual”

“Ritual?” Shou inspected the ball. As he thought it was just a simple ball. “ What kind of ritual involves a baseball ball?”

“Im telling you. It’s a very old ritual!” Reigen exclaimed offended “We pass each other the ball thus creating with our own energies a ward circle that extends and protects the whole area”

“What? Where did you get that-” Shou bursted laughing when a relizations struck him “Ritsu was right and you get all your practices from shady webpages... How old are you exactly to believe that kind of bullshit?”

“Hey! you brat, I’ll let you know this is 100% real bussines, but what would a kid like you know disrepecting adults-”

“Shut up”

Shou frowned, it had been fun at first but now it was straight up annoying.

“I’m not Mob and if you think I am as naive as him to believe everything you say is right just because you are and adult and you said so then you are wrong.”

Shou turned his back fully intent of going away but froze when Reigen spoke.

“No! wait Shou, I’m sorry! It wasn’t my intention to make you feel less just for being a kid”

“I’m not a kid” Shou huffed

“I’m sorry anyway”

Shou sighed and turned around, scrutinizing Reigen’s gaze. It seemed sincere...unlike what he had seen in most adults throughout all his life.

“What are we doing here then?”he said crossing his arms “No more lies”

Reigen sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“For the last 2 weeks you have spent the morning at the office-I’m not saying you can’t, you are always welcomed but you just sit there waiting for Ritsu to come, or Mob or whoever gets there... It’s not good for you”

He then looked down at Shou “Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Shou nodded, he had thought of those things already but….it was stupid but he had been so focused with taking down his dad he hadn’t thought what he would do next.

“So I thought...When I was young I used to play with-err I enjoyed playing fetch”

Reigen tried to leave it there but Shou wasn’t dumb, nor liked to be treated like he was fragile “I said no more lies, if you have something to say just do it”

“I was there, when you father tried to take over the world and I saw...I bet you have never played it”

He was right.

Shou handed him back the ball “Fine, let’s play.

Reigen smiled and for the second time that day Shou felts he shouldn’t have said yes so quickly. He had of course seen people playing fetch, it wasn’t that complicated but for some reason he still stood there awkwardly, not knowing what to do.

Reigen moved some meters away and asked him if he was ready before throwing the ball which Shou caught again with no problem at all.

He returned the ball

Shou was confussed “How is this supposed to be fun?”

“Just wait and see!”

Reigen then took a few steps back before tossing the ball again. This time with too much force.

The flew past Shou to high for him to reach it so with a flick of his hands he commanded his powers to bring the ball to him.

“HEY NO POWERS THAT’S CHEATING” Reigen immediately screamed

“You were the one who threw it with too much force! How was I supposed to catch it? Running?”

“THAT´S THE POINT”

Shou was gonna make him eat his words.

With as much force as he could muster (and not powers) Shou threw the ball at him, it went above Reigen’s head but he actually ran and jumped catching the ball.

Shou pursed his lips, his competitive side taking over, when Reigen made a silly dance of victory.

The game was on.

They played until they were left panting and sweating on the ground, both their hair sticking to their foreheads and it was until then that Shou saw what else was inside the bag.

Juices pouches and sliced fruit.

Shou didn’t want to know why Reigen thought he could pass this as some spirit exorcism.

#dadreigenweek2019 #mob psycho 100 #mp100 #reigen arataka #suzuki shou #nie's writing #usually shous voice comes very easily to me but this time i suffered

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beckzorz · 5 years

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Running from then (one-shot)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes & Reader Words: 990 Warnings: Mentions of violence, trauma, an overload of sadness... you know the drill, this is me after all Prompt: “You still need your baby blanket?” Summary: Your latest hiding spot from HYDRA and the Red Room has been compromised. But Natalia is busy. She sends a ghost from your past in her place. A/N: I’ve never written anything remotely about the Red Room before, so hopefully this holds up! Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy <3

Okay.

Deep breath in, deep breath out. In, out. Fold another shirt, roll a spare pair of pants, zip up the toiletries…

You’ve done all of this before. So why is it so much harder today?

An easy answer, for once. It’s harder today because it’s been too long. It’s harder today because you’ve gotten used to this place, these people, this life.

But HYDRA finds you every time, no matter what. Natalia’s spare time to help had run out ages ago, and after four months with no word, the security measures had frayed. You never were as good as her. Now, as then, you’re suffering for it.

You sit heavily on the bed and run your hands over the floral comforter. It’s a pretty room. You’ve added very little, but it’s still got the feel of home.

Or it did, until an hour ago, when the past showed up at the door.

“Hey.”

You glance up, alarmed as always by the first sight of the man blocking your doorway. It’s the soldat—no. No You correct yourself. It’s James. Bucky. Whatever he wants to call himself. Natalia calls his both, depending on the day, or maybe her mood.

But to you, he’ll always be the soldat. That’s what he was, back then.

You wonder what he sees when he looks at you.

“Almost ready?” he asks.

You nod and finish filling the suitcase. A week’s worth of clothes and toiletries—the rest you can leave to be burned with the house—along with your meds. A single thick folder of documents goes into the backpack with your laptop and a small purse. You zip the suitcase and the backpack and stand back, looking over what remains in the room. Stock landscape photos in cheap frames, a blue lamp, and a short stack of books on the nightstand. You add the top book to your backpack; the others you haven’t started, but this one’s halfway done. If nothing else, you’ll need something to read on the journey to somewhere.

The soldat brushes past you; you flinch aside. He sighs. He picks the suitcase and backpack off the bed.

“Time to go,” he says.

But there’s one more thing. You let him leave the room, then you fall to your knees by the bed and reach between the mattress and boxspring. You pull out a small, frayed blanket, light blue and worn to almost nothing in spots.

You hold it to your face and breathe in.

“What’s that?”

“N-nothing,” you stammer. You climb to your feet and clutch the blanket to your chest; it’s folded up almost small enough that he shouldn’t be able to see. But he does see. Of course he does.

His blue eyes soften. On someone else, it would have been sweet; on him, it looks unnatural. If only Natalia could have come instead!

“You still need your baby blanket?” he teases.

You stiffen. “It’s not mine, soldat.”

His brows draw low. You look away.

“My name is Bucky.”

You don’t answer. After a moment, the soldat—Bucky—turns on his heel and leads the way out of the ranch house. There’s a car waiting. He loads up the trunk and grabs a plastic can of oil and a cigarette. In the moment you look before he disappears back inside, the lit cigarette is dangling from his full lips, a burst of smoke obscuring his eyes.

In five minutes, you’re on the winding road, a line of smoke curling over the trees in the rearview mirror. The car’s reflective panels make it vanish once you make it to the first turn; anyone watching won’t know which way you’ve gone.

Bucky’s driving. The car is a little snug for him; you can tell even without looking his way by the sounds of him shifting ever back into his seat.

You spread the folded blue blanket across one of your thighs. Your fingers trace the faded pattern, the one spot in a corner yellowed from a stain. He says nothing, but you can feel the sold—Bucky’s eyes on you.

The heavy silence lingers until you break it with a sigh.

“This was not mine,” you murmur. “It was my brother’s. Natalia got it for me, after she got me out.”

Bucky adjusts his grip on the wheel. “What happened to him?”

“They killed him and my parents when they took me. Drove the car into the Volga and harvested my parents for parts. They sold my brother to a politician whose son had died, but my brother died too.”

“The blanket?”

“My grandparents had a summer house. Natalia found it there.” You stare at Bucky’s profile and wait for him to ask about your grandparents. But he doesn’t. He only drives. You look back at the blanket in your lap. You’ve never told this to anyone, but now that you’ve begun it’s impossible to stop. “She found their bodies too,” you add. “Apparently they didn’t believe the police report about how we died, and after Natalia got me out, HYDRA went for them so I couldn’t. Before that it didn’t matter, I suppose.”

Bucky puts his hand on the center console, palm up. You stare down at it, confused.

“What?”

He takes his hand away.

“Never mind.” He swallows. “How old were you? When they took you.”

You almost laugh. “Don’t you remember?”

Bucky closes his eyes; the road is mostly straight, but still you’re tense until he opens them again. They shine now, tired and teary. You’ve never seen him like this before. It’s strange. A hollow spot in your chest tightens—for you? For him? You don’t know.

“Yes,” he says, voice hoarse. “You were four.”

“Yes,” you repeat. “I was four.” You turn aside and watch the trees go by in a blur. After a minute, you realize your eyes are blurring too. You reach up and stare at your wet fingertips. You can’t remember the last time you cried.

Bucky puts his hand back on the center console. This time, you take it.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #winter soldier x reader #winter soldier x you #becca writes #fictive february

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tumblunni · 5 years

Text

Stuff to appreciate:

* the pokemon theme remix sounding like football/rugby/otehr sports tourney music! we’ve seen it confirmed that there’s poke-football here so i hope they do reference rugby too and maybe some hockey? we’re honestly a really sports mad nation, tho not as much as america perhaps

* All the lil touches of random normal british stuff that i just TOTALLY MISSED the first time watching cos well its fuckin normal for me lol! im just realizing this is the first time ive seen a house have a wheelbarrow out front in a pokemon game. do other countries just not have as many wheelbarrows or do you like to hide them or somethin?? HOW DO YOU GARDEN! we like wheelbarrows so much there’s several characters in old kids shows thatre just a wheelbarrow, and lots of grandmas like to keep broken wheelbarrows and turn them into plantpots just for the aesthetic of wheelbarrows. Also welly boots!! what do people even call them in other countries cos wellingtons is a very british thing right?

* other nice touches: route signs being like our traffic signs LOL IM CONSTANTLY GONNA MISTAKE THEM FOR A SPEED LIMIT, a lot of those nice pastry crust lookin turf-roof cottages even tho sadly they arent super common anymore nowadays, generally showing a LOT of different british housing architecture like even got the old london double chimney stack things!

* oh man they even got those ground staircase things what is even the name of those actually? i always like the aesthetic of country villages that are more in harmony with nature and it sucks that so much of britain is more industrialized instead nowadays

* BIG BAGS like lol i was going OMG IM SO GLAD THE PROTAGONIST FINALLY HAS A BIG BAG even before i realized it was britain like wow is that a stereotype about us that we carry giant bags everywhere cos thats fuckin true. ‘tardis purses’ are really common amoung anyone who doesnt use backpacks, like everything has to be hybridized with a backpack somehow or else u wear a cardigan just cos stupid modern clothes aint got good pockets FUCKIN HELL I COULD FIT A WHOLE HOUSE IN A CARDIGAN i still remember how in high school i cut a hole in the bottom of my pockets so i could stuff things into the entire lining of the jacket and basically wear a bag like OH i just realized this stereotype must be really old and maybe thats legit where the tardis/mary poppins/d&d’s bag of holding actually came from? you ask for literally goddamn anything on a train in britain and someone’s gonna pull it out of apparantly nowhere, being prepared is just a Thing here

* lol they cant really show how much Pub Culture we have over here in a kids game probably? like we’re one of the world’s biggest consumers of alcohol and HOO BOY, drunken riots are a frequent occurance along with the sports obsession. also over here we straight up dont have non alcoholic cider and i was REALLY CONFUSED that america ONLY has non alcoholic version like i DIDNT KNOW IT EXISTED so i just thought they gave their kids beer?? cider festivals over here are real fun, its part of how ‘pub culture’ is kinda an all ages thing even if the kids cant drink the stuff. like there’s all fun farm events and kids rides and bbq and stuff at a cider or ale brewing town festival thing. and basically the difference between pubs and more american style bars is that pubs are..like.. homey? they really are just the ‘jrpg tavern’ thats a thing of old history in america. its more of a hangout spot thats open all day and is more spacious with comfy seating and they do food and gardens and stuff. its common to bring kids to a pub during the day and its only in the evening that its adults only, which is kinda arbitrary cos i mean they still sell booze in the mornings its just that its ONLY booze in the evenings and the family meal kitchens close. also in the mornings they still have all the gambling machines turned on and lol as a kid my dad used to plonk me down on them so i could ‘play games’ while he talked with his friends. it was extra funny how the european gambling laws made them take the game corner out of pokemon cos i knew what a slot machine was even before i played pokemon and i was like 4 when it came out XD

* yay for big fancy libraries and museums!! i hope maybe they also show buses and trains? its generally a thing that we have more extensive and well funded public transport and buildings than america. like no offense but i was fuckin FLOORED when i learned that there’s whole states that have no trains! like over here buses and trains are used even more than cars! having even one single place unreachable by bus is enough to cause protests! also maybe have some hospital themed gym leader to symbolise good healthcare but honestly they could have put that in ANY of the regions so far except for unova. srsly im always so scared for my american friends cos of that...

* IS THAT A FUCKIN REUSEABLE CARRIER BAG?? like what a weirdly specific thing to reference! do other countries have the carrier bag tax too?

* also LOL putting stickers on the back of the wardrobe!! thats such a brit kid thing, whenever u move to a new place and it has furniture included you’ll always turn something around and see a bunch of stickers someone left from years ago. it was alwyas funny as a kid to see which ones got wrecked in the move, i dunno why a headless bugs bunny was the height of my afternoon at age 9

* Weird notice: this house looks a lot like the Old Chateau from sinnoh? except obviously its more modern and not abandoned and all. makes me think that the dub kinda hecked up by calling the place french and it might have been intentionally meant to be british? its just called a ‘foreign style house’ in japanese, not a chateau.

* ALSO SINNOH FEELS! please bring the minigame back! i always felt an odd kinship with oreburgh town as a kid cos the town i grew up in was also a former mining town that turned from a capitol city port into absolute disrepair after the industrial boom ended. struggling to find a new identity and mostly getting by on tourism value of the mines and all. so makes me think this is actually legit a wales town and maybe even cardiff in particular? or other former mining towns of britain. cos having an extensive cave network thats completely unused and youre just allowed to walk around in it like its no big deal = honestly 100% accurate, the underground minigame would completely fit us. i wonder if japan really does have a similar case of the mines all being 100% abandoned and only repurposed into history museums and travel routes?

* this npc is cute and also i appreciate the accuracy to school uniforms over here! this is usually what its like for primary school (i think thats elementary in america?) and itd be in different colours for different schools and have the school badge on the left side there. and summer uniform is often just taking the jumper off and then the shirt underneath also has the same logo on it. but in my school as a kid they annoyingly made us buy a whole separate set of identical shirts but in a different colour to indicate summer uniform like GEEZ DUDE its already expensive enough! made more sense in high school where winter shirts are button up blouses like suit jackets and its only summer that gets a regular cotton shirt. but there you also wear blazers (kids’s suit jacket) instead of jumpers, and jumpers are optional if it gets extra cold but its more of a light cardigan style instead. also boringly every damn school’s colours are black blazers except like one or two rare exceptions. i got extra unlucky and the two high schools i went to also had red shirts so i kept getting them mixed up until i noticed the wrong logo halfway thru the day

* hey lol literally the park behind my house. we get real shitty weather here and i actually kinda hope maybe umbrellas are something we could pick in character customization?

#pokemon spoilers

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zoemurph · 6 years

Text

to have a friend, chapter three: $60

on ao3 1 | 2

remember when i said i was doing nano? yeah so one day out of frustration i changed my nano novel to this so. *jazz hands*

side note: their town/school is ENTIRELY based on my own. i straight up just dropped them into my high school. therefore there is quite a bit of complaining but mostly thats about cafeteria food being shit and we all know it really is

warnings: discussions of mental health, anxiety, anxiety/panic attack, mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts

Connor meets Evan by Evan’s locker. It was easier to find than Connor’s, who couldn’t even tell Evan the number when asked, and more secluded than most. Slipped into what people not so fondly called the “secret hallway” near the library, Evan’s locker is one of the few in this section of the school and he’s one of the few students who even uses his locker. He only uses it because he has so many textbooks, and because it’s sometimes nice to step away from the more crowded parts of the school. If he had to guess, he’d probably say that less than a third of kids in the school use their lockers.

Why spend time putting your books away when you only have five minutes to get to class? Time better spent pushing through the hallways or making out with a significant other in a corner or eating a snack really quickly because your next teacher has a strict no food policy and once taped a banana to the whiteboard when someone tried to eat it in class.

The hallway has a strange assortment of classrooms. A lost english room, with its windows covered in posters and playbills and pictures and quotes, multiple rooms for computer and technology classes, and the math room of the one teacher that everyone dreads because he is too smart to be teaching high school. Evan had had him sophomore year for geometry and even though Alana Beck had somehow gotten him through it, his hands still sweat when he thinks about going back there.

He’s unlocking his locker when Connor appears next to him, seemingly out of nowhere. Evan almost drops the english book he’s holding and has to start his combination over after messing up.

“You lock your locker?” Connor asks, raising an eyebrow.

Evan huffs as he resets the lock. “Y-yeah. Just…better to be safe. I don’t know.”

“New question.” Connor leans against the locker next to Evan’s. “You use your locker?”

Evan rolls his eyes. “You already judged me for this.”

“That I did,” Connor agrees. “I’m not done judging you though. Fuck lockers, who needs them?”

“M-me?”

Connor scoffs. “Sure. Suffer with the rest of us, Hansen. We’re supposed to leave high school with fucked up backs.”

Evan puts away his textbook before he turns to look at Connor. “Do you even carry books around?”

Connor whistles lowly. “You’ve got a bite this morning.”

Evan shakes his head and puts his backpack on the ground, pulling out a binder he won’t need until after lunch and putting it on the floor of his locker.

“And you’ve caught me,” Connor admits. “I’m never prepared for class.” He flicks a bill into Evan’s locker. It lands on Evan’s binder and Evan stuffs it into his pocket quickly. He shoots a glare at Connor. It’d be nice if Connor were a little more discreet.

The two of them had straightened out their stories the other day at Evan’s. Connor had decided Mondays would be the best day for him to pay Evan because it would force him to show up to school for at least the beginning of the week and it would be harder to forget Mondays. They also established when they started talking, basic likes and dislikes about the other, and the fact that the way that Connor eats pizza is weird. Who starts with the crust?

Connor only stayed a few hours and then walked back home in the dark (Evan definitely didn’t make him text him when he got home to say he was safe) but somehow those few hours made Evan feel infinitely more comfortable around Connor Murphy. Probably a good thing because they’re playing at being best friends.

Evan has gotten enough weird looks and questions about the ‘Connor’ scrawled across his cast without the two of them being awkward and uncomfortable around each other.

They just have to fool…everyone.

Easy enough.

“You good?” Connor asks.

Evan glances up at him. “Yeah I’m— it’s all good.” He grabs a random book and shuts his locker. He glances at the textbook as he pulls his backpack on his shoulders. AP Environmental Science. He doesn’t have that class until the end of the day, but now he’s stuck carrying it around until he gets another chance to stop at his locker because there is no way in hell he’s opening his locker after just shutting it.

“Where are you headed?” Connor asks, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“English.” Evan gestures toward the stairwell. “So I’m— I’ll go this way. You?”

Connor scrunches up his nose. “Chorus. But I’ll come with you, I have to go down anyway.” He pulls open the door to the stairwell for Evan.

“You s-sing?” Evan asks as he passes Connor.

Connor laughs. His voice echoes in the stairwell. “Fuck no. But I needed an arts class and this was as lazy as I could get. I sit in the back and don’t pay attention.”

“What are you?” Evan moves closer to the railing as two kids rush past them up the stairs.

“Uh…human?”

Evan frowns and looks back at Connor. “What? No that’s— I meant vocal part.”

Connor blinks. “Oh. Tenor, I think. I just move my mouth and pretend.”

Evan shakes his head and opens the door at the bottom of the stairs. “You know that people can tell if you aren’t singing, if you’re just lip syncing. They used to tell us that all the time in middle school— that and the fact that just saying watermelon softly doesn’t work.”

Connor shrugs and stuffs his hands in his pockets. “I just need to pass.” He stands at the edge of the next set of stairs. He has to go down another flight to the music wing, Evan has to keep walking straight. “I’ll see you… Whatever, I’ll see you.”

Evan nods. “See you,” he mumbles as Connor descends down the stairs, pushing through a group of students blocking the way.

Evan takes a deep breath and turns away. One morning down.

Who knows how many more to go.

—«·»—

Between second and third period, Zoe corners Evan by nurse’s office. He was just trying to stop by his locker before calculus, but now he doesn’t think he’s going to get the opportunity.

“You’re friends with my brother,” she says.

Evan blinks at her. “Y-yeah we’re— Connor and I are friends, we’re friends, yeah. Why?”

Zoe frowns and her eyebrows draw together, making her forehead crease. “Why did I never see you two around school together before…” She motions to Evan’s cast.

Evan grabs his cast with his other hand. “Because—” They talked about this the other night but now Evan’s words are getting caught in the back of his throat. “Connor— he didn’t want us hanging out together. At school. Just at school.”

“Why not?” Zoe asks sharply. Evan steps back. “Because he’s embarrassed of you and is a bad friend?”

“N-no?”

“Why did you go along with it?” she presses on. “Are you scared of him?”

“No? I just— I respect his boundaries?” Evan picks at his cast. “I don’t— I-I was fine with it. He didn’t— there was no pressuring or anything that like it was just something that he asked and I was fine with it I didn’t mind.”

Zoe searches his face like she’s trying to find some secret code in it and Evan tries not to collapse under her scrutiny.

The warning bell rings.

“Okay,” Zoe says shortly. “Okay.” She turns on her heel and starts walking toward the band room. “I’ll talk to you later, Evan,” she says over her shoulder.

And Evan dreads it.

—«·»—

Evan glances to Connor as he passes him in the hallway. Connor lifts his hand to acknowledge Evan. Evan forces a smile.

Smiling at other people in the hallway instead of just looking at the ground. He can do that.

Jared squints at Connor. Evan doesn’t even bother wondering when Jared caught up to him, Jared just appears sometimes. “Since when do you and the rejected emo talk?” He pokes Evan’s cast. “We both know you don’t have friends, I thought this was a fucking joke.”

Evan winces. “It’s nothing.”

Jared doesn’t look entirely convinced, but he shrugs and moves on. For now. They really need to get Jared in on the lie before Jared somehow tells the entire universe and everything goes to hell. “Whatever, acorn.” Jared points to Evan. “Insurance?”

“Yeah, whatever.” Evan stops at his locker and grabs the lock.

“Nice. I’ll be— oh, hey. Alana.”

Evan glances over his shoulder to see Alana standing next to Jared, stack of textbooks in hand.

“Evan!” Alana exclaims. “You’re friends with Connor, right?”

Jared raises an eyebrow.

Evan swallows. “Y-yeah? Why do— what’s up?”

“Oh well, Connor doesn’t seem to like talking about his personal life with people and I was wondering how he’s doing.” She adjusts the books in her arms.

“He’s— he’s fine,” Evan stutters.

Jared rolls his eyes.

Evan quickly turns back to his locker and starts stuffing books inside.

“Do you think you could get him to talk to me about it?” Alana asks.

“No?” Evan doesn’t really know what’s happening, but he knows there’s no way in hell he could get Connor to talk to Alana about this stuff. Or any stuff. He probably can’t get Connor to do anything. “W-why?”

Alana takes a breath and Jared makes a face.

“Well I was just thinking that his story might be good for other people, specifically students, to hear,” she explains. “There’s such a heavy stigma around mental health and I’m sure other people are struggling like he has. I think that it’s really important for people to hear these personal stories so they know they’re not alone.”

Evan shifts uncomfortably. He glances to Jared, who shrugs. “I… I don’t…think he’d really, um, want to do that,” Evan says slowly.

Alana’s face falls. “Oh.”

“I-it’s a great idea!” Evan adds quickly. “I— That sounds like a really great idea! I just— Connor’s a pretty private person and I don’t— that might not be something he wants everyone to know about. Or know…more about.”

Alana purses her lips. “I see. I’ll have to ask him myself,” she says. “Thank you, Evan!” she calls out as she hurries down the hall.

Evan stares at her as she steps into the crowd.

That was not the outcome he wanted.

“Smooth,” Jared mutters. “Don’t know what the fuck is happening, but I know that you just dug yourself into a nice big hole.

Evan grimaces. “Come on, Jared.”

Jared pats Evan’s shoulder. “Good luck. You’re going to need it, ‘cause I think you just got moved to the top of Murphy’s hit list.”

Evan wants to melt into the floor and die.

Connor drops down into the seat next to Evan. “Hey.”

Evan looks up from his sandwich in surprise. “Oh, you— you have this lunch?”

Connor shrugs. “Don’t usually come to it, but I didn’t eat breakfast today.” He puts down the lunch tray and pokes at the mixed vegetables with a fork. “This looks nasty.”

Evan looks to his own lunch. A chicken patty that looks…unappetizing. “I didn’t even think about lunches, honestly.”

“Fucking rotating schedules,” Connor mutters. He stabs a carrot with his fork and tries it. He makes a face.

“Not good?” Evan asks. He picks up his chicken patty.

“It’s really mushy,” Connor says after a moment. “It’s disgusting.”

Evan takes a bite of his sandwich.

“How do people think this is food?” Connor looks to the main part of his meal, a really sad excuse for spaghetti. “I changed my mind, maybe I’ll just starve to death.”

Evan chews slowly. “At least it’s not freeze burned hot dog,” he says once he’s swallowed. “That happened to Jared in second grade.”

Connor gags. “Okay, yeah. I hate this place.”

Evan gives him an amused look. “When was the last time you actually came to lunch?”

Connor squints. “I don’t know…sometime sophomore year? I don’t eat lunch like…what’s the fucking point of sitting here when I could be,” he looks around, “not surrounded by this?”

Evan follows his gaze. This is a smaller lunch, so usually Evan sits at a table by himself. Some seniors are sitting outside at the few tables that are the remains of their senior privileges. There are people crowded around tables, sitting on chairs with their lunch trays on their laps. There’s too much laughing and talking and occasional screaming. All of the tables have food from previous lunches on them, the floor is uncomfortably sticky in some places, and it smells like bad cafeteria food and too many teenagers.

“That’s fair,” Evan mumbles.

Connor sighs and keeps eating. “The mashed potatoes aren’t bad,” he says after a moment. “Dry as fuck with no seasoning but I won’t die. The turkey is weird and possibly fake. But it’s better than my mom’s current vegan shit so.”

“Vegan?” Evan asks.

Connor nods. “She’s on a vegan health kick. Sometimes it happens. I just sneak out and get fast food if it’s bad— it’s usually bad.” He gives Evan a look. “If you get invited to dinner, don’t come it’s not worth the free food, believe me.”

Evan blinks. “Don’t invite me then.”

Connor looks at him for a moment. “Point.” He opens his milk, smells it, and then pushes the bottle away. “No. There’s no fucking way.”

“What?”

Connor picks the bottle back up again and looks at the date and then gags. “Hansen, what the fuck.”

“Is it spoiled?” Evan checks the date on his own milk. “Mine looks fine.”

“Smell this.” Connor shoves the bottle at Evan and Evan almost falls off his seat leaning away from it.

“What?! No!”

Connor narrows his eyes. He takes another careful sniff and makes a disgusted face. “I’m never skipping breakfast again.”

Evan slowly pushes his milk toward Connor. “Good plan.”

Jared crosses his arms. “So…Connor?”

Evan closes his locker. “Don’t you have class?”

“I am walking to class,” Jared says. “You just happened to be on my way.”

Evan sighs. “What about him?”

“What the fuck happened there?”

Evan weaves through the crowd. He’s not trying to lose Jared, but if he did, that would be great.

“No seriously.” Jared takes a few quick steps to get in front of Evan, spinning around to face Evan and walking backwards.

Evan ignores him. “You’re going to trip.”

“I know what I’m doing,” Jared says as he glances back over his shoulder. “But we both know you just hung out with trees all summer. How the fuck did you go from Murphy yelling at you in the hallway to being his best friend for ever and ever and ever.”

Evan grits his teeth. “I— he was yelling at you, Jared. That was your fault.”

Jared shrugs. “To-may-to, to-mah-to. Whatever. There’s definitely something going on here.” He raises his eyebrows. “Is it a sex thing?”

Evan stops walking. “Goodbye, Jared.”

“Oh my god, it’s totally a sex thing!”

“Go to class!”

Evan actively tries to avoid Zoe the next time he sees her walking his direction, but the universe has this funny habit of doing everything it possibly can to make his life miserable.

“You’re invited to dinner,” she says, cornering him in the science wing.

“W-what?”

“Dinner,” Zoe repeats. “Mom has been on Connor’s ass about it all week but we both know he won’t ask you.” She narrows her eyes at Evan.

Evan shrinks in on himself. “Dinner dinner? Like…dinner?”

She furrows her eyebrows. “Yeah. Dinner. What are you doing tonight?”

“Nothing?” Evan mentally slaps himself. “I mean—”

“Great then you can come have dinner at ours tonight.”

Evan shakes his head. “Do you re-really think that’s a good—”

“It’s a great idea,” Zoe interrupts with a flat voice. “It can’t go wrong in any way at all.”

“Ah.” That’s incredibly comforting. He squeezes the straps of his backpack. “I-I mean I don’t want to— you shouldn’t go out of your way to—”

Zoe crosses her arms. “My mom wants you there.”

“Oh.”

“Please.” Zoe gives him a desperate look. “She just… God, she just wants to make sure you still exist. That’s all. It’s not an interrogation, it’s dinner.”

Evan glances around the hallway. “I-I guess that it’s— I mean if you really want me…to…”

“She does,” Zoe insists. “It’ll get her off of my back. And Connor’s. I think she’s still in shock from finding out that Connor has actual friends.” She flicks her eyes up and down Evan’s body. Obviously her mom isn’t the only one in shock.

This is going to be an absolute disaster. Evan’s stomach is already turning and his head hurts a bit.

“So you’re coming?” Zoe confirms.

Evan nods, because that’s all he can manage.

“Great,” she says. Evan doesn’t think either of them think that it’s great. “Here,” she grabs Evan’s good arm and pulls a pen out from the side pocket her backpack. She uncaps it with her teeth and scribbles her number on Evan’s skin. She drops his arm and puts away the pen. “If Connor refuses to give you the address because he’s being a dick, just text me. Dinner’s at like six thirty.”

Then she turns around and hurries down the hallway. She weaves between a few people before Evan loses track of her.

He stares at the number on his arm.

Shit.

Evan takes a few slow breaths like Dr. Sherman always has him practice and reaches for his phone, his hands shaking.

From: Evan To: Connor Im s o rry Ims soryr Zo e conretd me and inviedme ot dinner and I apnaciked nad said ey s aso now I’m goign to dinner a t yrosu tongith? ? im soryr

Evan tries not to think about dinner as he gets through his last class of the day, but he keeps seeing Zoe’s number on his skin and it makes him feel like there’s a heavy anchor on his chest. He keeps checking his phone under the desk, desperately waiting for a response from Connor. The only problem is that he’s in a practically dead zone of the school service wise, so he might not even get Connor’s text until later.

His phone vibrates in his hands three minutes before the final bell.

From: Connor To: Evan fuck

—«·»—

Evan is surprised to find Connor standing next to his locker. “Uh…h-hi?”

“We needed to talk,” Connor murmurs.

Evan nods slowly and reaches for his lock. His hands are shaking and he keeps messing up the combination. “I— About dinner tonight I, I mean I didn’t— Zoe just…” He wipes his hands on his pants and resets the lock.

Connor makes a frustrated sound in the back of his voice. “It’s…fine. Zoe’s a bitch—”

“D-don’t call her that.”

“—and my mom’s been harassing me about it all week. I was trying to avoid this shit.”

Evan can feel Connor’s eyes burning into him as he fumbles with the lock again.

“You-you told me I shouldn’t— that dinner was a bad idea but I still said yes which was really, that wasn’t the best, I should’ve just said no but I panicked and saying no— I’m really bad at saying no.” Evan takes a deep breath and stares at his lock. The numbers are swimming in his vision.

Connor nudges him. “Move.”

Evan jumps away from him with wide eyes. “W-what?”

“I can do it.” Connor spins the lock. “What’s the combination?”

“Three, fifteen, fourteen,” Evan mumbles. He should be able to open his locker. He should be able to open a lock. He should be able to do this.

Connor pulls the lock open. “There.” He steps aside so Evan can put away his books. “Zoe already told my mom you were coming tonight. Got a bunch of excited text messages from her during class.”

Evan avoids looking at him as he opens his locker and starts emptying his backpack.

“Just…” Connor sighs. “Listen, it’s going to be fucked.”

Evan glances up at him. “Why? Because I’m—”

“No, because my family is fucked. We’re fucked up. We all hate each other and there is literally nothing but our ‘good name’ holding us together. It’s going to be shitty. The food will be bad, the conversation will be bad, and there might be yelling.”

Evan takes a shaky breath. “Oh. That’s— um, it’s not…encouraging.”

“I’m warning you.” Connor blows his bangs out of his eyes. “Don’t go in expecting the perfect American dream family, that’s just what my mom wants you to think.”

“Are you trying to get me to not go?” Evan asks, forcing a laugh as he pulls his backpack on.

Connor meets his eyes with absolute sincerity. “Yes.”

—«·»—

Evan doesn’t have to text Zoe for the address, Connor sends it to him without prompting. Followed by a text that says ‘dont get mauled by a deer’. Evan tries to take it as a joke — it should be a joke, Evan remembers everyone yelling in third grade because there were a couple of deer outside their classroom window — but he’s freaking out too much to take anything lightly.

He scrubs Zoe’s number off his arm without even writing it down and he doesn’t know if he regrets that or not. He changes his shirt four times before putting one on that’s almost identical to the one he was wearing at school. He doesn’t know what to do with his hair.

Zoe had said “like six thirty”, but Evan doesn’t know what that means. So he leaves earlier than he has to and follows the instructions he wrote down on his phone. He’s almost definitely going to be way too early and he’s not sure how he’s supposed to deal with that when he gets there. Maybe he can hide in the bushes or something until it’s a reasonable time to knock on their door.

He finds himself standing on the edge of a driveway at 6:03. It’s not too dark yet, but the sun is beginning to set. He stares up at the house. The number is right but he wants to check.

From: Evan To: Connor Your ho use is ti blue ? Like sorta darkish maybe grayish?

From: Connor To: Evan yeah its blue and theres this huge ass tree in front of it thats a pain int he ass

Evan looks up at his phone. There is indeed a large tree.

From: Evan To: Connor It looks liek a nice tree

From: Connor To: Evan you know you can come inside instead of standing out there like a stalker right

From: Evan To: Connor Im early

From: Connor To: Evan and????? we need to game plan hansen get inside fuck it im coming to you

Evan is about to ask him what he means when the front door opens and Connor steps out, closing it behind him. Evan is suddenly very glad he didn’t ask, because that would’ve been a silly question, and things are already tense enough as it is.

Connor makes his way down the driveway, tugging down the sleeves of his sweatshirt as he does so. “Do you like couscous?” he asks.

Evan blinks. “I…don’t know?”

“Okay, well my mom was saying something about couscous earlier, so that’s happening.”

Evan frowns. “Um, okay.”

Connor raises an eyebrow at him. “Were you just going to stand out here until you thought it was a good time to come in?”

Evan looks at the ground. “No. I just— I was just. I’m early.”

“Cool. You made it, though. Welcome to hell.” Connor gestures to the house.

“I thought school was hell,” Evan says.

Connor snorts. “That’s the hellhole. This is true hell. Because my family is there.”

“Do you—” Connor turns his attention back to Evan and Evan hesitates. “Are things really…that bad?”

“I don’t have a door,” Connor says after a moment. “Larry took it away after I tried to off myself.” Evan takes a shallow breath. “Him and my mom fight all the time. Don’t know why they’re still together sometimes. I once threatened to kill Zoe while I banged on her door when I was high so honestly it’s no surprise that we barely talk. But it could be worse,” he says in an almost mocking way that’s almost jarring after his calm and steady tone. He looks at Evan with an empty look in his eyes.

Evan thinks now is when he’s supposed to be afraid.

But Evan is afraid of everything, and for some reason, this doesn’t make him any more anxious than usual. Connor doesn’t make him any more anxious than usual. The idea of a family dinner, yes. But Connor himself, no.

Maybe it’s because he tried to fix things after he shoved Evan. Maybe it’s because Evan’s already snapped at him. Maybe it’s because he’s paying him twenty dollars to do this.

But Connor Murphy doesn’t scare him.

“I’m sorry,” Evan says softly when the silence has stretched thin.

Connor scoffs. “Why?”

“I…” Evan shakes his head. “I don’t know.”

Connor moves on. Evan is glad. “I can do most of the talking or whatever tonight. Hopefully my mom sticks to the basics. Zoe and Larry don’t even want to be doing this, so we should be okay on that end. If my mom asks too many personal questions I’ll tell her to fuck off, but mostly she’ll probably just ask you what you want to do in college.”

“Uh…”

“Exactly,” Connor says knowingly. “I hope you’re ready to face the fires of hell.”

—«·»—

The Murphy’s house is big. That’s the first thing that Evan thinks.

There are three floors and an office and a living room and a dining room and Connor just waves it all off as he gives Evan a quick tour of the first floor, gesturing to the basement door and the stairs to the bedroom, and Evan is completely and totally overwhelmed. There are too many rooms and really the only one he needs to be able to find is the bathroom, there are multiple of those he knows that because Connor mentioned two upstairs, but Evan has gotten lost in the hallways and rooms and—

He’s just going to follow Connor around like a lost puppy. Because if he tries to go anywhere in this house he will get lost.

“Kitchen,” Connor says, pointing toward a doorway. “I think my mom and Zoe are hiding out in there right now. Larry’s probably in his office because he’s always in his office. And dining room.” He gestures to the table. “There you go.”

Evan nods. Sure. He didn’t give Connor a house tour when Connor visited the other day. He wonders if that’s the polite thing you’re supposed to do or just something that Connor is told to do.

Zoe steps out of the kitchen with an armful of plates stacked with silverware. “You’re setting the table tomorrow,” she says to Connor as she puts down a plate. “Since you weaseled your way out of it tonight.”

Connor rolls his eyes.

“D-do you want help?” Evan asks, twisting the bottom of his shirt with his hands.

Zoe gives Evan a pointed look. “No it’s fine,” she says, still staring at Connor. “I can handle it.”

“You’re too nice,” Connor grumbles when Zoe disappears back into the kitchen.

Evan laughs awkwardly. “I just— I don’t know how family dinners work?”

“You’re lucky.”

An older woman, Evan assumes Connor’s mom, comes out of the kitchen with a pot and Zoe follows closely after with a serving bowl. Evan thinks he may vaguely recognize her from elementary school, when PTA was a thing and when parents were always in the classroom helping with parties or snack time or library days— at least, the stay at home moms were.

“Evan, my mom,” Connor says flatly. “Mom, Evan.”

Evan waves awkwardly. “Th-thanks for having me, Mrs. Murphy.”

She lights up. “Please! Call my, Cynthia!”

“Oh, okay.”

Zoe puts the bowl down on the table. “I’ll get Dad.” She pushes past Connor without a word and Connor glares at her back.

“Connor, sweetie, help me with the rest of the food.” Cynthia gestures for him to follow, which he does with a begrudging sigh.

Evan follows, not really wanting to stay in the dining room by himself. The kitchen is big and and clean and well lit and everything is stainless steel and fancy. There are pots one the stove and dishes sitting in a dish rack and a patterned dish towel by the sink and Evan doesn’t know the last time him and his mom made a home cooked meal. He doesn’t remember the last time he made something more complicated than mac n cheese.

“Do you— can I help?” Evan offers, because Connor is grabbing a pot and a potholder because he’s part of this family, even if he doesn’t feel like he is.

“You can take this, if you’d like.” Cynthia motions to a bowl with carrots in it. “It’s sweet of you to offer.”

Evan follows Connor back into the dining room, putting the bowl down on the table where there’s space and hoping there’s no order or specific placing to where things go. Zoe wanders back in from the back of her house, sliding her phone into her pocket.

“Dad’ll be in in a sec,” she says, pulling out a chair. “Finishing up a call.”

“Whatever,” Connor says. He drops down into a chair and points to the next one when he meets Evan’s eyes.

“I was talking to mom,” Zoe says shortly.

Connor just takes a long sip of milk.

Evan sits next to Connor. He tries to focus on the fact that the seat of the chair is comfortable and significantly higher quality than the old wooden chairs him and his mom have in their kitchen— old and battered and scratched up on the legs from when Evan was little and would run toy trucks into them over and over again.

Larry comes in and sits down on one end of the table, between Zoe and Connor. Somehow, that makes Evan nervous. He glances to Evan and looks at him like he can’t really believe he’s there. Valid, Evan can’t believe he’s here either.

“Nice to see you again, Evan,” Larry says.

“Y-you too,” Evan mumbles, looking down at his hands. Just get through dinner just get through dinner.

Connor moves his silverware around.

Cynthia sits down and everyone reaches for food. Evan stars as hands reach for spoons and bowls. Zoe starts talking as if cued. Larry gives short responses, Cynthia asks her questions, and Connor ignores her. Connor offers Evan a spoonful of something and Evan nods because he doesn’t know what it is so might as well try. Besides, it’d be rude to refuse food when they invited him for dinner.

“It’s so nice to really meet you, Evan!” Cynthia says suddenly. Maybe not suddenly. Maybe Evan is paying even less attention than he thought he was.

“It’s ni-nice to meet you too,” he stutters.

Zoe raises her eyebrows at him. He can’t read what that’s supposed to mean.

Evan swallows and picks at his food. He’s barely eaten all day and he should really eat now, but he can’t bring himself to bring food to his mouth.

“So how did you two meet?” Cynthia asks. She looks between Connor and Evan.

Evan and Connor exchange a glance. This is fine. They’ve talked about this. They just have to stick to the story. They’re fine.

“School,” Connor says. “Last year, partway through second semester. I couldn’t figure out how to add a printer to the computer in the computer lab, so Evan did it for me.”

“It’s— the adding a printer thing is…unnecessarily complicated,” Evan says. “It’s just…”

“Annoying,” Connor finishes.

Zoe narrows her eyes at Connor. “I never saw you two hanging out around school together,” she says, pushing food around her plate. Evan puts his hands under the table and digs his nails into his palms. They’ve already talked about this, which means she’s just doing this to antagonize Connor.

Evan glances at Connor out of the corner of his eye. Connor tightens his jaw. Evan looks away.

Zoe points her fork at Evan. “I’ve only ever seen you hang out with Jared Kleinman, and he’s an asshole.”

“Language,” Larry says, reaching for a bowl in the middle of the table.

“No she’s right,” Connor says. “He is an asshole.”

Evan makes a face. “I-I mean—”

Connor turns to him and gives him a flat look. “Are you saying he’s not a jerk?”

Evan stares at Connor for a long moment. “Didn’t say that.”

“Jared?” Cynthia asks. “Do we know him?”

Larry shrugs.

“God I hope not,” Connor mutters.

Cynthia gives him a pointed look before she looks to Evan. Evan’s stomach twists. “You should’ve come over during the summer! We would’ve been happy to have you.”

Evan smiles weakly. “I-it’s fine! I was, um, I worked this summer. I-I was an apprentice park ranger at, at Ellison State Park? So I was— mostly I just…worked and slept.” He laughs awkwardly. “It’s fine.”

“You had a job,” Larry says. He sounds almost impressed and Connor goes tense next to Evan.

“Y-yeah. It was— I like trees so it was fun. Connor and I, uh, we just talked over email.” Evan stabs something with his fork and stuffs it into his mouth. He needs to stop talking immediately.

“Emails?” Zoe laughs. “Are we in the stone age?”

“No,” Connor says slowly. He looks to Larry with a flat glare.

Evan bites down on his bottom lip.

Larry meets Connor’s glare. “Email isn’t that outdated,” he says calmly.

Connor scowls. Evan thinks that something is going to snap. It’s just a matter of who.

Cynthia clears her throat. “So Evan, do you have plans for college yet?”

Fuck.

To be fair, Connor did warn him. Evan had just been hoping that maybe…

“Uh… I…I want to go to college,” Evan says carefully. “Just…um. I don’t really know— I mean I haven’t really decided…” He looks down to his plate. “My mom has been, uh, having me do lots of scholarship stuff? I like…” What does he like? What can he make into a career? Shit. “Writing. And uh, nature. So maybe…something to do with one of those?”

He looks up and Cynthia smiles at him. “That sounds nice,” she says. “It’s fine if you’re undecided right now, I was undecided for a very long time.”

Zoe raises her eyebrows like she’s heard this hundreds of times before.

“Applications are soon,” Cynthia muses. “Any idea where you’re applying yet?”

“Um—”

“Mom, come on,” Connor interrupts. “Can we not talk about college right now?”

“Yeah, cause you’re not going,” Zoe says.

Everything stops.

Connor clenches his hands tight around his silverware, burning holes into the table with his glare. Larry stops eating to look at Connor. Cynthia pointedly does not look at anyone. Zoe stares at Connor with cold defiance in her eyes.

It’s hard to breathe. The room is getting very small and Evan’s dish is swimming before his eyes.

He wants to be anywhere other than here.

“I think it’s admirable that Evan is going to college,” Larry says. He cuts something on his dish and the noise of the knife on the plate grates Evan’s ears and makes him cringe. “He’s making a future for himself. Building a life for himself.”

Connor scoffs and Evan sinks back into his seat.

Larry looks past Connor and at Evan. Evan feels like he’s suffocating. “Zoe’s already looking at colleges,” Larry says. “Maybe you two should compare notes.” There’s a joking tone in his voice.

Evan feels sick.

“What?” Connor asks. “Not going to outright tell me I’m throwing away my entire future tonight?” His voice is almost shaking and so are Evan’s hands. “Sorry I can’t be perfect like Zoe is.”

Zoe slams her silverware down on the table. “Don’t bring me into this! It’s not my fault you gave up on everything!”

Evan’s breathing is getting more and more shallow and he’s just trying to take slow breaths but his head is spinning and he feels like he’s going to fall over.

“Please,” Cynthia says softly. “We don’t—”

“You were always part of this!” Connor snaps. “You don’t get to write yourself out of my life!”

“Fuck you!” Zoe shouts.

“Connor,” Larry says harshly, “calm down and stop blaming Zoe for things you could have fixed yourself.”

Evan squeezes his eyes shut tightly.

“Fix it myself?!” Connor grits his teeth. “Don’t you think I fucking tried that?!”

In. One, two, three, four, five. Hold.

“Point out one time you tried,” Larry spits.

One, two, three, four, five. Out.

“It would’ve been easier for you if I just died,” Connor snarls. “Maybe I should’ve.”

Evan’s eyes snap open.

Someone inhales to say something.

Evan stands up. “I— Wh-where’s the bathroom?”

Cynthia forces a smile, shaky and fake and unnatural. “If you go down the hallway to the lef—”

Connor pushes his chair away from the table. “I’ll bring him.” He starts walking and Evan follows.

Evan’s legs feel like jello and the colors of the world are muted. There’s a heavy weight on his chest and he can’t breathe anymore he can’t breathe.

Connor brings him up the stairs and Evan focuses on not collapsing.

“Here,” Connor says, opening a door at the end of a hall.

Evan can’t even say thank you, he just brushes past Connor and leans against the nearest wall, trying to stay standing. His knees go weak and he slides to the floor. He puts his head between his legs and tries so hard to breath to just calm down to just stop everything needs to stop.

“Evan?” Connor asks.

Did he close the door? He doesn’t think he closed the door. Everything feels weird and out of place and he can’t breathe he can’t breathe he can’t breathe—

“Evan.” Connor’s voice is louder now. Closer. The door clicks closed. “Evan do you need me to do something?”

Evan shakes his head. He shakes it a few more times. He’s okay. He’s okay. He feels nauseous and terrible but he’s not going to throw up. He’s going to pull himself together and he will be fine. He will be fine.

Eventually he is more fine. His breathing evens out, his heart stops trying to beat out of his chest. His head hurts, but he’s less lightheaded. He’s not crying and he’s not choking back sobs.

It’s okay. He’s okay.

He looks up from his knees to see Connor sitting on the bathroom floor across from him. Connor studies him for a minute before he stands up and turns one the sink.

Evan sniffs and wipes his face with the back of his hand. He doesn’t know when he started crying. It doesn’t matter anymore.

“Here,” Connor says softly, handing Evan a cup of water. It’s one of those paper cups that they used to use back in elementary school when they did flouride. It has turtles on it. Evan wonders who bought them while he takes a small sip of water.

His hands are still shaky but they’re a little bit better.

“I’m sorry,” he says after a few more moments of silence. The water is half gone. Once he finishes it, he’ll probably keep holding onto the cup. Crumple it up in his hands. Rip it to pieces. Do something with his hands so he doesn’t lose it. “I-I didn’t—” He stops himself when Connor sits back down across from him.

“Don’t be sorry,” Connor says. “I’m sorry. For my family. For me. For fucking…all of this.” He gestures around them. Around the bathroom that still looks like it belongs to little kids with it’s colorful shower curtain and flower and monkey patterned towels and turtle patterned cups. A bathroom that belongs to two kids. Not two people who can’t even eat dinner together without yelling at each other.

Evan looks down into the cup.

“I should’ve tried harder to stop you from coming,” Connor mutters. “I knew that it was going to end up like that.”

“It’s— I-I wanted to come,” Evan says. “It’s not— d-don’t blame yourself.”

Connor eyes him. “Fine. Then you aren’t allowed to think you ruined dinner. Because that was my entire family’s fault. We’re the reason that you’re—”

“I’m fine.”

Connor’s expression gets almost sad for a second. “Okay. You’re fine.”

Evan drinks the rest of the water. “D-do they—? Are we supposed to…”

Connor sighs and looks away. “It doesn’t matter. We don’t have dinner together as a family for a reason. Zoe and Larry certainly don’t expect me back.”

“Oh,” Evan whispers.

“That extends to you,” Connor points out. “You’re my guest. Trust me, we can stay here until they coast is clear.” He glances to the door. “You can see people leaving the house from the dining room. I fucking hate open house plans.”

Evan forces a laugh. “I-I guess that’s— that’s a fair reason to hate th-them.”

Connor smiles a little and flicks hair out of his eyes. “They probably won’t be too much longer. I can go down before you, scout it out.

Evan picks at the rolled edges of the cup. “D-do— do you sneak out? Often?”

Connor shrugs. “Sometimes. Depends. I mean…not much point in being here.” He raises an eyebrow. “I can just go get high in the park.”

Evan takes a deep breath. “I guess. M-my mom’s never home so…” He shakes his head. “No reason to leave when you’re— when you’re already alone.”

Connor nods and they sit in silence for a few minutes. “I’m going to go check,” Connor says, pulling himself to his feet. He opens the door a crack and slips through it, closing the door behind him.

Evan crumples the cup up between his hands and then attempts to straighten it out again.

Connor knocks once on the door before saying “It’s me” and opening the door. “Coast is clear.” He offers Evan his hand and pulls Evan up from the floor.

Evan sways a little bit as he takes a step forward and Connor puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?” he asks, eyebrows furrowing.

Evan nods. “Fine. Just…tired.”

“Right. Come on.” Connor leads him down the hall.

Evan hesitates in front of a room with a doorframe but no door. He glances inside and sees Connor’s bag on his desk.

Connor wasn’t joking about having no door.

Connor opens the front door and steps outside with Evan. “Want me to walk you home?” Connor asks. “It’s kind of dark.”

They both look up at the sky. Evan will have to go mostly by the setting sun and weak streetlights.

Evan shakes his head. “I’ll be okay, but thanks.”

Connor opens his mouth and then closes it. “Okay. Just…I don’t fucking know. Text me when you get home or something. Try not to get by a car. Or a deer.”

Evan gives him a small smile. “D-do you really have this many deer on this side of town?”

“We’re only a fifteen minute walk away from each other, Hansen,” Connor points out. “But yes. Watch out for those motherfuckers.”

“I will.” Evan walks down the front steps and then looks back at Connor. “I…thanks.”

Connor scoffs. “For nothing.”

Evan shrugs and walks down the unnecessarily long driveway. He takes out his phone and pulls up maps and puts in his address. The sun is setting faster and it’s starting to get colder and there’s a deep tiredness in Evan’s bones, but he’s okay. It’s okay.

#deh fanfic #dear evan hansen #connor murphy #evan hansen #deh #my fics #to have a friend #fuck

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btspornfavor-blog · 7 years

Text

A Detrimental Passion

Part IV || Part I | Part II | Part III

It was like the strike of the match, catching the side of the box but not quite lighting, only just giving off a tiny spark.

A/N: This is long asf and I apologize if its not very good...

--Week 3--

Today of all days.

As if Jin wasn’t already running late, the weather decided to take a turn for the worst and now it was pissing down the rain. Not that he spent a ridiculous amount of time on grooming, because lets be honest, even on his worst day he managed to look like he stumbled graciously off Gucci’s F/W runway show. And never once has he been tired of it. But the last thing he needed was the possibility of this day even going south. He spent months researching and preparing for this presentation, it needed to go well, it needed to go smoothly… it didn’t need him in damp clothing and rain matted hair standing in front of roughly 500 students, who were all equally rich and snobby as one another, although by the way they acted you’d never suspect any of them would be on the same planet.

'He got his sweater wet… can you believe? My mom almost cried when I let my vicuna sweater get one droplet of water on it… I just insisted that if it was as ruined as she said it was, she could buy me a new one.’

He rolled his eyes at the fictional conversation playing out in his head, one girl whispering to another. Besides, this sweater was just cashmere… not vicuna. As if they’d actually know the difference anyways. Grabbing an umbrella, he looked in the decorative mirror next to his front door, admiring his perfect appearance before it had the chance to be ruined. He clutched his backpack to the front of his body, bracing himself as he traveled down the hallway, down the stairs, and out into this shit-show type weather.

Why did he have to choose to live “close to the university, only in walking distance”. The campus was large and spread out, and yes, he may be close to the buildings where his classes are, but his presentation wasn’t for his classes. It was for much younger students. He didn’t have much of a choice whether to present or not, and he kept a tight schedule due to working and school and wasn’t the type to break plans, especially when they came to academics. Due to his major and his continuation onto med school, his internships and practicums and opportunities off campus came with the price of: spending all of his time working, most of the time that work being unpaid, having to pay to have the job, and also having to write countless papers on what he learned and have to share it with students within the university.

The study wasn’t even something that could be half-assed, which in all honesty, thats how he spent a lot of his time in his first few years of college. Blowing his way through classes to charm girls around him, and the other reason his parents weren’t so happy with: partying. This worked out well for Jin, because female professors were so caught up in his looks, and how calming his voice was, that he didn’t even have to try to ask for a later deadline. Even male professors had a thing for him. Even if he turned in something late, it was above and beyond. A lot more than professors were looking for, because it was much more than they could get out of the average student.

But Jin was never an average student anyways. He was good looking, charming, and had the brains to match. And he knew how to use each and every one of those things to get what he needed, when he needed it. Not to say he wasn’t fair, or that he bribed people, because he really didn't have to do much. He was able to do it in a way where people couldn’t even ask themselves if he was just pulling some shit on them, because each person fell for him way too easily.

So when it came to the last year of his undergrad, he tried to put away the charms and really focus on what he needed to do to get into medical school, to get a nice scholarship and keep up that whole honors student facade without his parent’s relentless questioning about what he did over the weekend and just where he was last night and how many girls has it been now? It got tiring, and fast. The change wasn’t fun but it was probably for the best. He went out less, studied more, did what he was supposed to do. Not that anyone really doubted him anyways.

But his latest study was still in progress, he’s only talking about the one he did before this one began, and how it will relate to this one and just where he’s wanting it to go. This city is like a gigantic mess anyways, if theres anything worth doing here, its looking at the people around you, and definitely questioning their sanity. He’ll even be silently judging the students listening to his lecture today in the back of his mind, while they talk amongst themselves in loud whispers, about his appearance in some way.

Late, late late. You chanted this word to yourself frantically as you grabbed your things, rushing to your appointment with your lawyer this week, the dreaded one of dividing up belongings. And of course, it just has to be raining.

You stood by the front door of your house, looking at a small table where you put things occasionally like mail, your keys, your purse... and of course. Umbrellas. Either you were overlooking the thing in your frantic stress haze or it really wasn’t there. And if it wasn’t there... then it would be in your car. Which is great. Because instead of just parking in the garage, you parked in your driveway. Which means you’ll have to run to your car in this monsoon without getting wet. If only you could perform magic...

All you could even do was hope that your purse would do the job.

It worked well enough going out to your car, and going into your lawyer’s office required less walking time, which equals less time in the rain. You were dry save for the little bit of your shoulders and fronts of your jeans, and your purse was absolutely covered in water. You just had to hope that the leather (or faux leather whatever this even was) refused to absorb the crazy amount of water on it that way all of your old receipts and half used chapsticks could stay dry.

As for the packets of divorce papers inside, you could care less.

This meeting was ridiculous, if it was anything. All of your husband’s proposals were laughable. Every. Single. One. Not really in the ‘this is silly’ kind of way but in the ‘what is your deal, are you 12?’ kind of way. It was really a petty statement... and somehow strangely genius, and cruel.

You were left to keep the house, the car, whatever was inside the house except his very own belongings, (as if you had any use for them anyways), and have a money allotment for his children obviously to help with their living expenses. And you could’ve bargained for living money for you also, since you were used to a certain lifestyle at this point, but you barely cared. As long as he did something for your children. But since he very blatantly refused to give you any money for yourself, without you even saying you wanted any to begin with, you were stuck to pay for the massive house you owned, the bills, the car, and anything else at all that you may need.

It was safe to say he had the money to replenish his losses, whether it be clothes or tv’s or a whole new house. Probably even dinners and jewelry for his little twinkie. Definitely.

That was the cruel part. He wanted his kids to live well of course, he loved them. He just wanted you to be miserable. How could you even be happy? You were the one who wanted a divorce after all. He was the one who was ‘innocent’. And he was trying his hand a everything he could just to catch you off guard and make you seem unstable or unfit to be a single mom. Trying to make you angry, trying to get you to yell at him, be late to pick up your kids, anything. He was even trying to start fights over text just so he could have some evidence, but you’ve kept your cool this far. And now that you were thinking about it, you looked at the clock as your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach.

No... you thought, watching as the minute hand swung around closing in on the 30 minute mark. You needed to pick up your kids. Maybe you were starting to lose your cool, starting to slip up a little after being so consumed with paper work and thoughts so angering that your line of vision would get a little fuzzy, and you had to stop or your teeth would start grinding together. You were close to becoming the you he wanted you to be.

But the hand moved slow, and so did your lawyer, taking his sweet time. He was only paid by the hour. If you didn’t have kids you probably would’ve gotten a cheap lawyer who wold have this whole ordeal done and over with in the first meeting, but you needed the best for your kids. And you needed someone willing to go into great detail and make sure your husband wasn’t fucking you over anymore than he already did. So the guy moved slow. You were barely even through the cars part when you started to feel like you needed to just escape your body and leave it here in this office and go pick up your kids. Your blood was creeping through your veins faster than a bullet and you just wanted to scream Hurry up!, but you couldn’t. You needed to keep your cool.

Jin sighed as he picked up soccer balls in the gymnasium connecting to the clubhouse. Looking out the open door, it seemed that today’s rain was relentless. Although practice had ended about 30 minutes ago, he hadn’t bothered to change back into his nicer clothes, he was still wearing joggers and a hoodie and a baseball cap, all complimentary in color. He figured that his cashmere needed a break. Of course his mom would always buy him a new one just like every other kid in this city, but at this point he liked to do things on his own. Take care of his clothes like an adult and buy his own cashmere when he fucks this one up for real. As if he didn’t have a section just for cashmere sweaters in his closet.

You however, were outside fighting the rain, so focused on the ground, making sure not to hit any big puddles on your way or even trip. Lately you’ve had quite the time with injuries, no matter how easily they could be avoided. Keeping your head down as to block the angled rain from smacking you right in the face, you tried to reach the clubhouse as quickly as possible. Why is it so damn far from the parking lot?

You pulled the door open quickly, your hair sticking to your face, rain dripping down your cheeks and the bridge of your nose, your clothes sticking to your skin, but you didn’t care. You scanned the lobby area of the building, moved to the locker rooms, to the side, opening doors and shutting them quickly, your cold, wet hands sliding over the door handles struggling to get them open and closed fast enough. Maybe in the kitchen? With each room, you searched with nothing to be found and your worry grew more severe. If they were going to be anywhere, they’d be in this building somewhere.

But there weren’t a lot of rooms. Lobby area, changing rooms, kitchen, and the connecting gym. So you ran to the gym, pushing the bar to open the metal door and swinging it open loudly. Of course they would be in here right? Its raining out, they would be having indoor practice. They had to be in here.

Except they weren’t.

But someone was. The closet room door was open, noise coming from inside, and you could see the shadow of someone moving around against the door propped open by a wooden wedge. No matter who it was, they could tell you something, right? So you dashed in that direction, your wet and water filled shoes squeaking against the waxed wooden floors, your feet sliding around with little traction inside.

“Where are they?” You almost screamed at him, and he jumped slightly, turning to look at you from his position opposite the room, placing supplies back on their rightful shelves. He was clearly startled, but somehow still beautiful, shoulders raised on instinct, deep brown eyes wide as can be.

“Who?” He asked, placing the cones back on the shelves neatly where they belonged, and not where he had managed to put them when your presence surprised him.

“My sons!” You’re beginning to get angry. What does he mean ‘who’? ‘Who’ else would there even be? What did he think you were there for? Grabbing some soccer balls just for fun? You stood in the doorway, your hands balled into fists, beginning to lose your strong composure almost as soon as it overcame you. Your eyebrows were furrowed in worry and your bottom lip was beginning to do that dreadful thing where it begged you to let out a sob.

“They got picked up?” The look of confusion was still plastered all over his beautiful face. You hated how calm he was about this, as if your kids not being here wasn’t his problem when you specifically remember him telling you that it would be okay if you were late sometimes, granting how busy your schedule was.

“Picked up?” Your voice was almost a whisper, squeaking at the last word. You could feel the tears brimming in your eyes, full of absolute fear. You always pick them up. You do. You always have. That was your job. The mom to always be there on time, never late, only you.

“Yeah? Their dad picked them up, I believe.”

And then it hit you. Of course, he was picking them up. It was part of the deal now, he got his time with them. They would be at his place tonight. The fear faded away almost as quickly as it came and replaced itself with regret, and you started choking on your tears before they even really hit you. This was so embarrassing! How could you even let yourself do this? You wanted to run away but suddenly you were aware at the lack of breath you had, probably from running everywhere and the thought that you had lost your children somewhere to some stranger. Hiding your face in your hands the best you could, wishing that you could just disappear from this place, go back and try to not get stressed to the point where you forget what you’re even supposed to be doing today. Your original daily plan didn’t include coming the the sports complex and breaking down in front a guy you let your thoughts drift off to in the evenings.

You heard to quiet scuff of shoes on the concrete coming in your direction, his smell drifting towards you, somehow calming you out of this state you were in, trying to hold back your tears then best you could, no matter how much you needed to get them out.

“Y/n,” he said softly, a hand gently touching your arm as if you calm you. “Are you okay?”

You groaned internally, lifting your face out of your hands enough that you could wipe away your tears with the edges of your sleeves as best as possible, hoping that no ugly mascara marks were anywhere on your cheeks, or smudged around your eyes now. But the jacket sleeves were wet, barely even making a difference at all. Sniffling a little then taking a deep breath, blinking back your next wave of tears, you prepared yourself to explain what just happened. You focused your eyes away from him, and out the closet door into the gym, studying the lines on the floors and the metal on the walls.

“I’m sorry.” You said with a groan, so embarrassed now you could feel your cheeks getting hot. “I just… I had to meet today with my lawyer and everything is just such a mess, I’ve been so stressed out I just completely forgot that he was picking them up. I got so scared. I should probably just go home.” You began to walk out the door but the hand that was rubbing your arm grabbed it and held you in place.

“Thats fine, but at least wait a couple minutes. Let yourself calm down before you go back out. If its any consolation, I didn’t have that great of a day either. That makes the two of us.” He squeezed your arm a little bit at the last sentence, a bright smile on his face. You laughed a little although you still had tears in your eyes.

“Really?” You noticed your mouth was moving slowly, and that your cheeks were practically frozen. When did it get so cold in here? “What happened?” You sniffled again, your teeth beginning to chatter slightly, and Jin noticed.

“I’ll tell you, but we need to do something about your clothes first. Look, I just wore these for practice, I have my clothes from today in the changing room. How about I change out of these and back into my regular clothes, and you can put these on so you don’t have to wear those anymore. Sound good?”

You managed to nod through the shivering, and you followed him out of the gym and back into the lobby area, toward the changing rooms. Standing outside the door waiting while he changed, you used this time to take a couple deep breaths and try to clear your mind. How bad could this be? You spend some of your time just thinking about Jin as a distraction, so why can’t you just shake these bad feelings away? Why can’t you just calm down and be yourself in his presence without all this emotional bullshit following you and pulling you down?

“Here, they might be a little big. I also found a bag you can put your wet clothes into.” He handed his clothes to you and the bag, and you gave him a smile. You sighed as you entered the changing room, closing the door slowly behind you. You laid his clothes down on the bench and began stripping off your own clothes, which at this point were making a desperate attempt to stay onto your goosebump ridden body. The air hitting your skin as you removed the layers and tossed them in the bag wasn’t helping either. Before you knew it, you were standing in your bra and underwear, staring at his hoodie and pants, contemplating what to do. The rain had practically soaked you to the bone, the padding on your bra taking it upon itself to soak up as much water as possible, and your underwear were clinging to you desperately, although they were only wet near the top, it would still be annoying to wear them.

‘It’ll be no big deal,’ you thought, stripping your underwear off and sliding on his joggers, tossing the wet fabric into the bag with the rest of your clothes. Next came your bra, going into the bag as well. You’ll just wash his stuff before you give it back to him. And when you go back out there, just hide well enough inside his hoodie that he can’t see the lack of support around your boobs. You picked up the pink fabric, sliding it over top of your head, the hood falling right into place on your head as you covered the rest of your torso. God, what kind of cologne is this? It’s almost hypnotizing. You were so used to the stuff your husband used to wear that the new scent was almost intoxicating, and the fact that you were covered in it now was absolutely amazing. You grabbed ahold of the neck and pulled it up to your nose, taking in a big whiff, letting it into your lungs and allow it to fill your body as much as possible. You wanted to live in this scent. Hell, you could even die in it.

Having no choice but to slide your still soaked shoes on, you returned back to the lobby so he wouldn’t think you were having some serious issues changing. The shoes were sloshy and miserable, but there wasn’t much you could do about them at this point.

“How’s that? All better?” He was sitting on a bench across from the door, next to one of those word indoor plants.

“Much better.” You said with a nod. “Thank you so much.”

“It’s the least I could do. Now, where were we?” You sat down on the bench next to him, dropping your bag of wet clothes on the floor next to you. “I was going to tell you about my day. Firstly, this rain is the worst. I think thats what started it for me. I had to do this presentation for a class today, and it was pretty important and I really wanted to do well, but then I was running late, and I walked to it in the rain… and then I got there… and the presentation for the most part was alright I believe. But I was a few minutes late which looks bad for me, and also I was a little wet from the rain, so my appearance probably wasn’t very good either. Not to mention I walked over here also.”

“I’m sure you did fine. Try not to worry about it. Would you like me to give you a ride back to your place?”

“Sure, that would be great. Unless its out of your way or something.” He protested slightly.

“No, Im sure its fine. Actually… I really want to get these clothes back to you. We could… or— no— never mind.” You shook your head in embarrassment. Where did you expect to go with that? Of course you need to get his clothes back to him, especially with no suspicion from anyone around.

“No, no. Go on.” He encouraged, wanting to know what you were going to say in the first place.

“I’m sorry I think it was a little inappropriate. I really shouldn’t.” You shook your head again.

“It will be fine, Im sure. We’re both adults. I don’t have anything to do this evening, so if you have things you need to do you won’t be keeping me.”

“Oh. No, I’m not busy either. In fact, since my kids aren’t home I don’t have anything to do at all. I thought maybe… You could come over, that way I can change and get your clothes back to you without any hassle. And if you’re hungry I would buy you some dinner since you’ve been so kind to me lately.” You said shyly, turning our gaze from him to the ground. Are you insane? Inviting him over? Your slight nighttime fantasies are really getting then best of you aren’t they? But here you are again, adding some sense to the madness. It wouldn’t be bad to invite him over, its harmless. It’s innocent. You want to give him his clothes back, and do something nice for him to show how grateful you are for treating you and your sons so nicely.

“That sounds great.” He flashed you that heart-stopping smile he has, and you began to feel content for the first time today. “Let me grab my things, and we can get going."

He disappeared into the changing rooms once again, reappearing with a backpack slung over his arm and an umbrella. He motioned to the door with his hand and you led the way, stopping on the small concrete patch right outside the door under an awning, somewhat still safe from the rain.

“Here, you hold onto my umbrella and try to stay dry okay?”

You took the large black umbrella from him, holding it high enough that it would cover both of you, and he trailed closely behind as you both started to walk, and you hoped that you were able to cover him from this ridiculous rainfall.

Your pace was a little quick, and being the gentleman that Jin is, he wanted to keep a safe distance as to not step on the heels of your shoes, so he was stuck with his head almost safely under the cover of the umbrella but his body oddly and uncomfortably out in the rain. Which by the way, was still acting ruthless. Today’s sky was determined to supply your city with enough rain water to support all of California for about 5 years.

Jin climbed into the passenger seat as you closed the umbrella hurriedly and plopped your body into the driver’s seat with a huff. Looking over at him you winced at the damage caused, the shoulders of his sweater thoroughly soaked, spreading happily down the rest of his torso as if it knew no boundaries.

“Good thing I’m getting your clothes back to you, right?” You started the car as he laughed at your statement, and you drove off into this crazy rain the best you could. With headlights blaring and wipers at full speed, you drove slower than you normally would, due to the weather and of course, the precious cargo beside you.

Jin tried wiping at the back of his neck with his sweater sleeve, in attempt to remove the water droplets hanging out there, but with no such luck. Cashmere. He though to himself, half tempted to roll his eyes, but remembered almost no sweater on the face of the earth can actually absorb water to any extent.

Jin really wasn’t phased by the size of your house much less the size plus the fact that you were now all alone in it, save for your kids. He examined all the walls surrounding him, half tempted to tell you that your house was charming, but decided not to. You looked frazzled enough as it is, a type of fear on your face that only a person breaking the rules would have, if they happened to care just as much.

It was something he didn’t quite understand, the part of you with so much fear. But it wasn’t really his place, unless you wanted to tell him. But you noticed the way you were acting, the way you were looking around the room, hesitant to do anything at all.

“I’m sorry, you must be so uncomfortable. Let’s get you a towel, okay? C’mon.” You waved your hand in the direction of your bedroom shaking off the ridiculous feeling, and he followed you until you reached the small closet in your bathroom where you kept all of your bath towels and some other miscellaneous items.

Pulling on a towel that was basically stuffed into the shelf space in an uncomfortable way, you caused what could only be described as a towel avalanche. The second the first towel started to fall off the shelf, Jin rushed to your side to grab as many as he could as you held your hands in front of your face to ward off being covered completely in terry cloth.

You couldn’t help but to laugh, it was embarrassing but it was also really funny to you that both of you were being attacked by a shelf full of poorly organized towels. You were soon on your knees, picking up the towels and folding them the best you could, and Jin helped also. You were both laughing at this point because this was such a mess, this whole day was such as mess, but your cheeks were burning. This could’ve been easily avoided, if you would’ve just took the time to actually roll the towels up and stack them like you normally did.

Biting at your lower lip, you folded a towel and placed it on the pile in front of you just as Jin was, your hands touching briefly before both pulling back in apology. You giggled at this small mishap too, and looked over to him as he waited for you to put your towel on the pile. He was smiling slightly, that little smirk that was sweet, playful... and then it faded. And yours did too. You didn’t know why, or how it happened, maybe it was just being so close to him for once.

But his eyes left yours and glanced down at your lips, and you couldn’t help but to stare at his since the moment his smile deserted them. It was so quiet, all you could hear was your own ragged breath, your heart beating in your ears.

He leaned in slowly, but with confidence, and your body followed his actions without even asking your brain first if it was all okay. It was the same type of rush you get when you’re about to head down a hill full speed on a rollercoaster, terrifying but exciting, your stomach floating in midair, consumed by angry, burning butterflies anticipating what was to come.

It was soft, the touch of his full lips to yours, perfect placement, feeling his top lip in-between yours and his bottom lip catching the area where your own bottom lip ended. This feeling was something that you hadn’t had in a long time, that feeling when something is brand new, and you’re excited for what will happen and where it all will go, and its refreshing, and cool, and makes you happy to see another day, and just live in this moment.

If only you could just live in this moment.

But you pulled away quickly, probably too soon, panicked and a little ashamed. Jin barely had a look of regret on his face, it was there, but just a dash. Mixed in with a few other things, like the simple joy he always radiated and maybe an ounce of affection. It was just a kiss of course, something you’ve always considered to be innocent, it could mean everything or just a little. Either way it only held that importance to those who were doing it, whether they reciprocated the feeling or not. A kiss is a kiss. So why are you afraid?

There was no silent apology floating in the air, somehow you both knew that it may have been a little out of boundaries, but still fine. You couldn’t be angry at him, its almost like he’s been reading your thoughts. And who knows when he realized himself how bad he wanted to kiss you, how much he thought you deserved the satisfaction and the warmth a kiss brought.

You swallowed thickly, somehow your mouth dry now as you folded towels in silence, almost done withe the unwanted task. Standing again, you looked down at the floor, scratching at the back of your head a little bit to act as if nothing had just happened between you, although you were feeling the aftermath of that simple kiss pretty strongly throughout your entire body. It was like the strike of the match, catching the side of the box but not quite lighting, only just giving off a tiny spark.

“If you’d like, since you’re here, I could wash your clothes for you so they don’t have to lay around soaked in rain water. It’s not really good for them.” You offered, wanting to move forward with your night as quickly as possible, far away from that amazing... kiss... You watched as his plump pink lips formed a smile once again, something so charming that never failed to make your heart jump a thousand feet in the air every time he sent it your way.

“That would be really nice of you, if it isn’t too much trouble. I think my sweater is the worst part, my pants are probably okay. They didn’t get that wet, and I’m not that worried about them honestly. They’ll survive either way.”

He pulled at the neck of his sweater, lifting the soft fabric over his head as you watched with wide eyes, that match striking the box again, begging to just ignite. His tan broad shoulders where finally exposed, and he tilted his head to the side to study your expression as his slid the sleeves off his arms. The kiss can mean little, or it can mean everything. The kiss was the strike, you the match, him the box, waiting for you to catch on.

When your teeth tugged at the soft skin of your lower lip he knew he had gotten you, but he also knew that you had gotten him too. Sweater in hand, he reached out to hand it to you, and you walked forward as if to take it, but bypassed it completely, your hands tangling in the hair at the back of his head as you pulled him into a kiss, his full lips inviting, warm, and everything you had previously imagined them to be.

It was crazy how much you wanted this, how much you had thought about it in your wine drenched mind, every movement soaked in a deep red liquid. But this was different, it was the bright light of your bathroom, his hands dropping the sweater and wrapping around your waist to lead you backwards into the warm, intimate lighting of your bedroom. His lips working against yours with expertise, wanting you to just give in, to steer you away from the ‘this is so bad’ mentality that you were currently living in. Because you knew it wasn’t, you were single, you husband had freely done this type of thing even when you were still married.

If only you could just coax your entire being into just letting this whole thing happen... because his scent was beginning to take up every available thought in your mind, swallow them up and consume them so that all you could even think about was him and how he smelled, how he felt, how he looked, how his lips tasted.

His skin was firm, warm, soft, running your hands over his bare chest as if you were feeling the finest velvet in a fabric store. You couldn’t even decide where you wanted your hands on him, there were so many places to touch, to explore that your hands could now maneuver when only your mind used to be able to. His chest, back up to his neck, into the still damp hair at the nape of his neck. You wanted to pull on it, to see what would happen if you did, but you refrained.

This was messy. Even if you felt like it was a mistake it was so good that you couldn’t even bring yourself to consider it. His tongue was to against your own, it was sloppy, it was deep, pushing far, caressing yours gently but harshly. Everything was done with a type of seriousness that made you feel like it was the realest thing you’ve ever had in your whole life. It was just so raw, the gasps leaving your mouth as his teeth tugged at your lip, your neck, your jaw, everywhere he could even get his mouth was not safe from his lips or his tongue or his teeth grazing it. It was sickeningly sweet. Painful, but sweet. Like he wanted to treat you roughly but only in the right way that was sugarcoated twice over.

You barely even wanted to try, in fact he physically made it clear a few times that he was the one running the show. He let you tug on his hair, groan his name softly, touch him anywhere you could get your hands on, but tonight was not going to be run by you. And it wasn’t something that even made you feel bad, he wasn’t being greedy, it was done with a type of gentleness that made it feel like he just wanted to take care of you, that he was doing all the work, but it was all for you.

And that was fine by you. Because everything he was doing at this point was damn good.

All the gasps, the heaving breathing, everything between the two of you was causing an intense heat, whether it just be the excitement or just the fact that this was literally so hot, you needed to get out of his sweats, and fast. The flame was now burning deep red.

Whatever you needed, Jin felt it too. He began a kiss that was insanely slow, and painfully deep, as his hands reaching underneath the hoodie you were wearing, lifting the bottom hem lazily, exposing your skin one swipe of his tongue at a time. He only pulled away long enough to release you completely from the thick cotton fabric, a whiff of his cologne embracing you once again, before fading away as quickly as it came. Being apart even for that split second felt like a million years too long. However, he took his time taking in the sight, tossing his hoodie onto your wooden floor, eyes scanning your chest, honest and satisfied.

His lips pulled into a smirk, a sultry play on what would be his usual smile. He moved to place his lips on yours again, a hand placed on the back on your head, tangled within a few strands of almost dried hair. You might’ve been angry at the slight pull it caused, your hair still having not completely dried, and being matted with rain water with little defense. You kinda embraced the pain, though a wince may have appeared across your brow for a millisecond. In turn you moaned into his mouth, and he took that as a sign to move even further.

He sat with his legs outstretched as far as they could be in his position, holding onto your thigh and waist as he pulled you across his legs, so you were then straddling his thighs. From this angle he was able to look at you through hooded eyes, through his eye lashes, and you down at him, holding each side of his perfect face with both of your hands. His arms wrapped around you tightly, and held you close enough that your breasts were brushing the chiseled edges of his collarbones.

He let out a small laugh in a single breath at the feeling, and all you could do was smile. He leaned in only slightly, pressing his lips to yours gently, teasingly, then nipping at your lower lip with his own. You had never had such amazing time with someone, and all you’ve even done was kiss. Jin felt lucky, he loved this angle of any woman, but for someone reason it was perfect for you in particular, he felt. In a way, he was lifting you up, on some sort of metaphorical pedestal, holding you high and treating you to kisses across your skin, your neck down to your shoulder, your collarbones, the tops of your breasts. Sucking on the skin and soothing it with his tongue, you tilted your head back to enjoy the feeling, maybe a little too much. But who’s to say what the right amount is? Especially if they weren’t here experiencing this moment themselves.

His lips found their way back up your neck, his hands wandering ever so low, dipping underneath the band of his sweats you still had on. You knowing that in your pantiless state you probably have a wonderful wet spot inside because his lips were driving you insane, specifically when they reached that spot a little below your jaw, behind your ear. When you gasped, he took it as another hint to keep going. His fingers hooked on the band of the joggers, pulling them as far off your ass as possible with you sitting on his lap.

He dug is fingers into your skin, grabbing handfuls of your ass then soothing them other gently with the tips of his fingers. Your own hands ran through his blonde locks, from the crown of his head to the nape of his neck, tugging on the hair, nails gently scraping against his scalp as you breathed into his mouth, wanting to kiss him until you couldn’t breathe, but you resisted the feeling, curious of what he planned to do next.

When his fingers gripped onto you this time, you couldn’t help but to move in the same direction of his hands, your hips moving back slightly, causing a brief but delicious friction against the dress pants he had on. You could barely even tell, either his willpower was amazing, or you just couldn’t feel anything through all the layers, but you were sure it was just thanks to the bunched up zipper you were able to feel that.

Also, why does he still have his pants on anyways?

Deciding to take initiative-- just for a second-- you slid back on his legs far enough that you had comfortable access to his button and zipper, trying to calm your nerves for long enough to undo them, but it seemed impossible. Acknowledging your struggle without a word, Jin picked both your hands up and kissed them, placing them back onto your lap as he freed himself from underneath your body.

He faced you as he stood up off the bed, taking his pants off with ease. He kicked them off his feet, then towards the area where he had managed to throw his hoodie earlier. As you took in the sight, he looked at your curiously, pondering what to do next. Cocking his head to the side, he stuck his fingers underneath the band of his underwear, testing your reaction before proceeding to remove them.

He wanted to take things slowly, so he stopped. You both needed to be in an equal state.

You looked at each other in a state of awe.

You didn’t want to stare, but you couldn’t help it. You had never wanted to wrap your lips around someone so fiercely in all your life. That being, you had only really been with your husband before, and you never much took a liking to sucking someone off at all. But with this, you were so tempted, just to try it. Its possible that you were becoming a little too mesmerized by it because Jin leaned into you, a finger under your chin to pull your lips up to his.

“Maybe next time.” He said against them, his voice deep as the Pacific and sweeter than fucking honey.

You both kept your lips at the same distance, but he kept moving forward, forcing you to lay back onto your satin sheets. They were cool and welcoming against your hot skin, but Jin’s hands made their way onto your body, causing another wave of goosebumps.

His hands worked smoothly on the skin of your stomach, each touch being followed by a kiss downwards until he reached the area where your leg and torso meet. At that point he slowed, looking up at you with curious eyes.

He kissed down your thigh until he was at equal level in between your legs, exactly where he wanted to be. Jin really was one for foreplay, he felt like it was necessary to have a really good time. And he was always one for oral because it was really pleasing for either person.

Just one soft lick up your entire core had your toes curling because God, its been so long since anyone has done that at all. And Jin knew it was really about finding the perfect rhythm for each girl, and thats what he was about to do.

His breath was hot against your skin, another good reason for goosebumps to raise on your skin again. He turned his head to kiss at your thighs and you giggled, his hair tickling across the skin of the opposite one. You could feel his lips curl into a smile at hearing your laughter, and then he was back at your core again, lips brushing gently at your clit making you want to squeeze your thighs tightly shut in anticipation.

What he did next was cruel, wrapping his full lips around your clit to suck so softly... and then to tease at your entrance with his tongue so gently before licking slowly back up to your clit again. It was exactly what you needed and you didn’t even know.

And he had you so entranced, so immersed in the feeling that it all seemed like an actual dream. Like maybe you really were just dreaming because this unbelievably good, and so quickly. Maybe it was due to the fact that you had only really been with one person and so used to just one style... A style that was outdated and boring and unable to change or fit what you may really need.

But there was not faking in this, there was no pretending to be close because you seriously were. Each hot breath, each soft kiss in between his tongue ??? and there was nothing else in this room beside you and him. There was nothing else in this world besides you and him.

Before you even knew it was almost there, and you realized your hands were tangled in his blond locks, tugging on the strands to bring him closer as if to intensify the feeling. He got the picture, and he wasn’t going to keep you waiting. But his lips left, and what was replaced by them was just a tip of his finger and you let out a small noise of disapproval. He rubbed in a circle a few times before sliding it down, now rubbing around your entrance before slipping slowly inside.

Then they were back, his lips back on your clit, sucking it into his mouth, his tongue working quickly at it as his finger was moving slowly in and out of you. It was so amazing, digging your toes into your mattress letting the whole feeling consume you. It really almost felt like too much, until it curled his finger upwards, and everything came spilling out at once.

Now the world only consisted of you and him and the sound of your heaving breathing and moans, and everything really truly felt like heaven. He let his tongue move slowly as you rode the high out until you absolutely couldn’t stand it anymore, then he pulled away, kissing at your thighs until he was at your knees.

You thought that maybe you might be dead, because your body felt weighted down so harshly and kinda tired, but you were alive somehow. You just guessed thats what a real orgasm could do to you. The weight on the bed shifted as Jin climbed over you, looking down at your face curiously.

“Mmm, you okay?” It felt like it took all the strength in your body to laugh at his words, you probably looked like an absolute mess. “You wanna scoot back, lay on some pillows?”

You nodded and crawled backwards, falling heavily back onto your pile of pillows at the head of your bed. God you felt exhausted already, but looking down at Jin crawling towards you on the mattress, dick bobbing with each movement, you suddenly felt so energized. It looked like it hurt, like it was little throbbing, you had no idea how he could go so long without anyone touching him at all.

The smile on his face was alluring, drawing you in. You leaned forward to pull him into you, crashing your lips against his, tasting yourself all over his mouth. He seemed to be just as impatient, spreading you legs apart with one hand as he propped the other against the headboard behind you to steady himself.

You were still kissing him passionately, tongues clashing, trying not to hit your teeth on his, but you couldn’t get close enough to him it felt like. The hand that was on your thigh was now rubbing over his dick, scooting himself closer to you so that he could rub the tip over the wet mess that he had created between your legs.

You smiled with a moan into his mouth and he took it as sign to keep going, that this was what you liked, what you wanted. So he eased into you little by little, both of you sighing sweetly at the feeling. Your mouths wanted to stay right where they were, at least for now.

His thrusts were slow, really making you feel everything he was doing,

It wasn’t quick, and it wasn’t uncomfortable. It was nothing like you ever really experienced before. You were used to it being a little quick, a little distant; not this close, not this personal, and not this sensual. It really felt like you were in a movie, the type where the camera lens should be fogging up, hot and heavy breathing everywhere only interrupted by a sweet moan on either end.

And it wasn’t desperate, although you were afraid you may be too grabby and too needy, wanting the full pleasure as quickly as possible, wanting to hold him tight and not let him escape. It really felt like you had all the time in the world, that you could seriously do this all night long and you considered that a real possibility but he really knew what he was doing.

You really could’ve settled for him eating you out, of course you could’ve because it was fulfilling, draining almost, in the most perfect way. It was the exact type of release you needed through every sexual encounter you have ever had. That one thing you didn’t even know really existed.

You really couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be on the other end of this, to be the one on top of him, what his face would look like then, what he would sound like. Because right now he was the most beautiful yet, eyebrows furrowed in focus, raising slightly when something felt particularly good.

At least you had time to enjoy all this. He was building you up perfectly, moving in every right direction and pushing you closer and closer until it was almost unbearable. Having things fast was fine, and it was really fun sometimes but it never really took you anywhere unless it was able to last for any amount of time, and lets face it, thats not a reality.

He knew well, that after having his mouth in-between your legs you’d still in some way be worked up and sensitive to anything at all. It worked out well for him in the past with various girls, and he always knew that it was a sure start to making them come this way too. And you really were no different.

God he had you so agonizingly close... He leaned down, pressing his lips to yours, both of you breathing so heavily into it you felt like you might suffocate, and you didn’t mind dying this way. But being this close gave him the right kind of leverage to thrust into that one place he sought out with his finger before.

His lips moved to your neck, that one place right below your ear and you could even hear in his breathing that he was struggling to hold on himself. He wouldn’t let it show, but the feeling was driving him insane. He was used to doing all of this. Not as often anymore, but he knew how good he was. And he knew how to change it up, and some girls were really, really good.

But you really had him right in this place he wasn’t used to being in. And it was unrealistic, and so wild, and you knew it. No one ever came loose at the same time, no one ever really got there on the same level unless they were absolutely used to faking it (which you used to do). But none of this was real to you, how could it be? It was too amazing.

It all happened just like that. That one spot, and your eyes widened as far as they could, and his screwed shut, his face still in the crook of your neck, feeling your clench around him in what felt like waves as you came undone beneath him. He tried moving as steadily as possible, letting you both finish so solidly and thoroughly but it was hard. And strange. It just wasn’t something that happens.

Both of you were completely spent, unsure of what even to do now except lay there together trying to catch your breaths. It wasn’t really Jin’s style, he liked to finish it all strongly, a few more kisses like he really meant it all, then work on cleaning it all up so that they could have a good nights rest after the evenings activities.

He forced himself to kiss your neck, now salty with sweat, and you laughed at the soft but ticklish sensation. His lips kissed their way across your jaw until they reached your lips, kissing you so deeply that you thought you might pass out. When he broke away he smiled at you, that same heart stopping smile that got you here in the first place.

You both made an uncomfortable groan as he pulled out of you, that empty usual feeling returning, and he disappeared into your bathroom to get a towel to clean both of you up.

He dipped back down in between your legs, wiping at the mess with a damp towel which was so oddly sweet, you had never had anyone take care of you like this before. Your heart ached a little. When he was sure you were clean, he tossed the towel onto the floor, and you reached for him to pull him beside you, crawling underneath the covers and taking him with you.

You sheepishly covered your face with the comforter, really feeling so happy in this moment that you wanted to hide your smile, the look in your eyes. He hummed at the sight, knowing what it meant. He felt something strange too, looking at you before, looking at you now. You had no idea what to do now... usually you would shake the whole evening off as if nothing out of the ordinary happened but this was not one of those times.

As tired as you both were, you had the whole night to get to know each other more. That exactly what you were going to use it for.

You felt at home. For the first time in a long time. It was strange to you because you didn’t really know Jin that well, just a few things, but he made a point to be in your life, whatever his real reasoning was. And he was interested in you, obviously. So for things to really be panning out this way, you just wanted to smile and scream and jump around like a giddy teenager when the boy she likes finally likes her back.

It was a good feeling. To have someone so close, so nice. Someone that you could be with so passionately, then talk to so comfortably for as long as you wanted about absolutely anything. It almost seemed too good to be true.

Jin watched you as your breathing slowed, steadied itself as you began to drift off. He wasn’t that interested in sleeping at the moment. Usually he would go right to bed afterwards, but things here weren’t like things with college girls. Even if what you needed was a fling, to have some fun, (and he considered that greatly because it would be the best case scenario, just a rebound) but he liked you. And he cared. It was different because you were older, you had been married already, you had kids. You weren’t exactly someone who could be flung.

You were someone who needed care, and solidarity, and actual love. You were deserving of romance, and kindness, and most importantly just someone who wanted to treat you well and would follow through. This type of thought is what Jin was stuck on, because he wasn’t really set on anything until tonight.

And he wasn’t quite sure what it was. He knew that he could treat women well, in many ways. And he’s never really had a bad experience in that area, because he is just that right amount of charming to save him from anything. Tonight though, was phenomenal, if that word would even cover it. He had never felt so close to anyone in his life, and he was wholesome, and refreshing. Just that feeling you want all the time.

Now that he’s found it, what is he supposed to do?

#jin fic #seokjin #bts fic #jin smut #bts smut #btsxyou masterlist

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