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noco7 · 1 year

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Hi! I just read your post on Nemma and Noah's characterization in RR and, although I actually really like Nemma, I totally agree with you about how nuts the writing was. But it made me curious so I decided to ask: what are your thoughts on Emma as a character? I quite like her, but I prefer Kitty lol.

Hello! Nice to hear from you, and I'm glad n*mma worked for some people. As for Emma, I'm going to be honest - I don't know what to make of her. The first (and last) time I watched RR, I really tried to like her. I didn't want to be one of those people who hated the female love interest for getting in the way of their gay ship. And I accomplished that, I don't hate Emma. But I don't love her either. Perhaps I should love her. She's a bit like Courtney - not as extreme and so not as interesting imo, but she's still a mean girbloss. And I like evil women. Hell, I like Amy from Pakhitew and the only thing she ever did was be mean to her sister. And I enjoyed every second of it. That girl was so evil it crossed into camp. Considering all those things, Emma should have been easy favorite. But ehh, didn't happen. And I think that's more on me. The more I force myself to like something, the more attention I pay to the flaws. The more people tell me something's bad, the more I look for the good things. It's like I always want to prove someone wrong, whether thats myself or the public. But enough about me, let's talk about Emma:

IMO, Emma has three main things going for her during RR. Her relationship with her sister, her relationship with Noah, and her trust issues regarding alliances. 1) The sister plot. I have mixed feelings about how this plot began, because yeah, Emma was pretty mean. Which I should like, because I liked Amy. But I was never supposed to like Amy, so I did. But I was supposed to like Emma. Emma's a protaganist. So I didn't. 💀 That being said, even I can't deny how well this plotline resolved. Her problem had been her putting the competition ahead of her sister, but for her to accept defeat because her sister was more important? Chef's kiss. Masterful writing. Great message for the kiddies and adults alike.

So yeah, mixed feelings, but overall, I'd say it was Good. 2) Her relationship with Noah. Yeah, no. You already saw me diss this ship, which, sorry. But I will be nicer this time! Despite my dislike, It does solve the problem of her not being over her ex. That's good, that she could find love again. And tbf, I think it does make sense that she likes Noah, or at least more sense the other way around. Since she's allowed to dislike him first, it's not insta-love. And once Noah proves himself by always trying to impress her and help him out, like.. yeah of course she likes the guy who's dedicated to being her simp. I too would grow to like someone who liked me. So what's the problem? Ehh, it's her weird comments. She compares Noah's ass to apples, when the guy is flat af. Emma says Noah's funny in his least funny season, then laughs at one of Noah's jokes, before admitting she doesn't get it. Like, it feels like the writers weren't sure of how to make Noah appealing without making Emma a little insane. The family thing, the hair fish thing, the obession over him even when he's gone. I know that's her thing, that Emma is slightly obsessive. (And I'd be a hypocrite to hate Noah's SO being slightly obsessive. Like that isn't the whole plot of my Noco fic. But uhh, I use it as a way to deconstruct anxiety, neglect, and talk about the importance of consent. TD doesn't do that with Emma. It's just a funny weirdo thing she does 😜)

And perhaps that would be fine and quirky. Not everything has to deep. And that's true. Unfortunately, I'm an ex BNHA stan. For those who don't know about the manga, good, but also there's uhh some Sexist Writing in there. In this specific case, I'm talking about Deku and Ochako. Deku is the main hero guy, and Ochako is the love interest. They both start off as capable heros with their own unique motives, yet as soon as Uraraka started liking Deku, everything became about him. Every fight she thinks of him, 99% of her plot and screentime becomes about him. She stops being a character on her own and more a sattelite that revolves around Deku.

Now, TD didn't do this with Emma. She is still her own character after Noah is gone, and arguably a better one. But still, her continuing to think about Noah to the point of getting distracted rlly bothers me. It's like war flashbacks to 2018. So no, I don't think N*mma was a successful plotline for Emma, because while it did solve her problem ✅ and did kinda make sense ✅ it made her annoying to watch. ❌ And I hate Nemma, so BOOO! Negative points!!

3) But what about her thing about not being able to trust people? And I don't mean men, I mean alliances. There's this whole thing where Kitty tries to get Emma to consider alliances. The Nowen one works, sorta. (You know, if Noah was a true boyfriend, he would have continued the competition, just so he could stay and help his GF. But apparently Noah's just one of those guys who like... is lazy and annoying, meets a girl he likes, puts massive amounts of effort to woo her - then once he gets the girl, he stops. Oof. 💀) But what about the other alliance? The Adversity Twins. Uhhh. Emma kinda betrayed them. For Noah! A good cause! But it kinda weakens her trusting other people, and willingness to help her competitors, when one of her Big Moments was throwing them overboard for her bf she wasn't even dating yet. Wow. I'd be so pissed if I were the Adversity Twins, lmao. This moment isn't bad in itself, but it confuses the message. She's trying to learn how to make alliances, but she throws one alliance to save the other. Net gain 0. And if I'm remembering wrong, she also didn't trust the Surfer Dudes later on? So uhhh. Tl;dr Emma had 3 main things in RR, she aced one of them, flopped in the other, and kinda... nothinged the third. At least for me. So in the end, it all cancels out. I feel like if I watched RR again, I might like her more. And if I liked N*mma, like you do, I might have liked Emma too. Unfortunately, I have taken the path into darkness.

If you're wondering if my fic will bash her, the answer is no. She doesn't have much of a presence in this fic for obvious reasons, and if she appears, it will be brief, and as Noah's friend. Emma the dog, however, will be making consistent appearances. I feel less bad about the overlapping names now that the new TD Season also has another Emma. Thank you TD, for assuaging my guilt. They really do care about their fans. 🤧 And if you're wondering why I named the dog Emma, when I could have just not... I took a Jane Austen class in college, thought Noah would like Austen, Emma is Austen's best book imo, thought the coincidence funny, starting thinking of how to insert his Austen like in the narrative in subtle ways, thought of his dog, and well. Yeah. That's the main reason. Should I have just named her Elizabeth or smth? Yeah. But Noah hates the monarchy :(

#td rr #td askbox #this was a really long way to say im neutral #you expect the long fic writer to stop at a few words?#never #and its past midnight so everything feels Deep #you know?#tbh maybe i should blame my rebellious psyche on my kpop days #where fans were basically required to agree that everything an artist put out was good #you could not be a if you went against the grain #so now im programmed to spot any way to go against the grain #i make it sound like it was a cult #it wasnt it was just kpop twitter being kpop twitter #which is #annoying #you say you go against the grain and yet you ship noco and wt is your favorite season #okay maybe im not that much of a hippie i guess

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guideaus · 1 year

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trigun stampede ep 2 thoughts

with how much it was emphasized stampede isnt trigun maximum the anime, or a reboot of the original, i wonder how much will be similar since the Nebraska family is there

i think its a little boring that vash had nothing to do w plants, when it couldve just been as simple as trespassing or smth. vash also being mistaken for knives feels silly when i dont think theyve ever looked the same except for when they were little, unless knives comitted the crime and went "my name is VASH THE STAMPEDE, DONT FORGET IT!" lol

vash and the kid is soo cute, love vash

the lady deciding to go against vash after ep 1 is disappointing 😭 i'd understand it happening in ep 1 (people who know nothing abt him and dont care using him to get money) but the woman fiercely defending him from reporters only to change her mind the next ep feels weird lol? even if it does go back to the original "wow he saved the town (again, 3 times, in this case)" it feels less like indifferent people changing their initial uncaring attitude w vash being his usual forgiving self, and instead like they can swing any way at any time. like if meryl came in and offered $$6,000,000, then she wouldve been like, oh sure, okay. and honestly more offensive? like vash's encounter w the ppl who offered him a ride when he was stranded, only to rob him and leave him for dead. idk i feel like its different when he has already saved their town twice as opposed to the manga where they have no reason not to chase him for money (when yeah, obviously they have a reason, but still)

the animation is fun, if anyone says theyre stiff lifeless dolls, theyre wrong

i dont really get meryl and the guy's motivation for following him. meryl feels like she has to be shes meryl from trigun, but the guy has made no objections so far??

i think its funny they nerfed the son from being a comically large villain

the birdy is cute <3

i think them changing meryl is interesting. idk if i like it or not, but shes definitely the opposite from her other counterparts, but also i have no clue why shes caring so much

the series seems a bit heavy handed so far, but i guess with some things its ok to be direct about (tho idk if thats indicative of how much time theyre allowed lmao)

i liked the scene where he looked like he was dancing

idk i kinda wish rosa didnt help that guy lmao. they probably had her do it to equal out the whole betraying vash after he's saved her like like 4 times thing, so i guess, but them partying after felt weird lmao. i feel like her cutting them off w a warning to never show their face again probably wouldve made the most sense, with this it feels like she just adopted vash's ideals

that also makes the whole ep feel kinda pointless. like i know it showed vash's conflicting ideals that'd realistically perplex anyone, but then both parties besides him also being ok (esp w/o an answer to either of their inital problems) feels weird. like are they just gonna drink and then go "oh yeah, our plant is dying" and "we have no bail money" right after... back to their original problem, and theyll target someone else or do nothing lol?

the milly replacement man is really annoying to me. he feels boring, doing nothing, and being the cliche secretly super perceptive guy despite being appearing as a drunkard or whatever. like he has me so close to ranting again abt milly being replaced.

idk what to say abt gosef presumably dying lol

#personal #trigun lb

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vaiminhatristeza · 1 year

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01/12/2022

Yesterday my dad called me and Im just not able to lie so I cried and told him about how much I was stressed out, he was first angry that I missed school but it turned out good I think. I did not told him I had suicidal thoughts tho ofc

Today was pretty ok, I went to school even tho I did 0 homework and manage not to get yelled out by teachers. I dont know why I assumed teachers would yell at me, its been years since a teacher has been mean to me but its just sticking to me I guess.

This journal was really a good idea, I never sorted out how I felt about school anxiety and I just now can pinpoint about certain teachers 3 or 2 years ago making me feel like shit.

Anyway I talked with some people today, nothing extraordinary but its still more than my school days so far with 0 human interaction haha, but theres a weird thing going on. Thats gonna be a long story to set the scene.

I previously talked about the girl I was with last year not wanting to be friends, but theres also her group not even aknowledging my existence. What really bothers me and makes me feel like they dont like me at ALL was that they slightly made me leave their table. At first they ignored me when I tried talking, then one day they all had at the same time this problem about wanting to have a table of 2 per person, I guess thats pretty useful but the way they put it was off, they had this problem after I was absent one day and a friend of them sat at my table of two, not in my seat tho and I sat there like usual. Then they were like "omggg thats gonna be so problematic" but thinking back about the scene it really was a problem for ONE person and they made it sound like it was a group problem. Anyway they added a table, I was then all the way to the left, then they started beeing closer to each other to the right and boom I was alone far from everyone.

I talked about this story to say, after I was absent again my chair dissapeared, thats when T and B asked me to sit at their table and i did so, but today my chair dissapeared there too ? Maybe a teacher used it coz it was convienient but where did it go, it dosnt looks like there was a chair missplaced but straight up dissapearing.

I also made theories about why the girl that seemed to dislike me would do so (Im gonna call her O) sooo O the girl that was in my class last year, the only time I interacted with her was a weird drama I was made the vilain in, basically I was in a group of two with someone else and she did not do her job, saying "ye I dont care if I have 0 I wont go do the presentation" and then when it was time to talk in front of the whole class she broke up in tears and pointed at me saying I was ghosting her and forced her to do everything. Sooo even tho I explained everything some people wernt aware of what really happened and O might still look at me as the awful doing nothing person idk 😨but that was theory 1, theory 2 is Im just akward, theory 3 now, is that she likes T.

I really like this guy coz I feel like we look alike so thats really the first person I try to be friends with, hes also one of the few person i interacted with even in my veryyyy akward phase (lets say Im less akward now even tho thats not the case I think) So why do I think that she might like him ? I theorise it was just a little crush and/or shes trying to stop now that he made clear he likes men lmao, but she really was a lot on his back sending messages not to forget homeworks, it even pissed him off once (idk if he was genuinly pissed and tried to hide it by laughing afterwards or I interpret wrong) and just her body language near him hahaha. I dont know if she looks at me so bad everyday and I just noticed when I was talking to T but wowwww. T is very popular with girls, and just everyone I think. There are other girls that seemed flustered when he talked to them and I heard gossip about his love life. YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS GOING NO ? WHAT IF ITS A JEALOUSY ACT lmaoooo would be so funny but my brain is just making up funny extreme stuff to entertain me and this blog I guess.

Yesterday it sounded like I was starving but I ate something 👍today I watched jjba instead tho, oopsi

its only been 2 says since I started posting, I know tumblr is basically dead but I wonder if anyone is gonna read all of this once omgggg

ok byebyeee

#daily diary #personal diary #school life

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organic-guacamole · 3 years

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episode 210 here we go

awww seb doing the intro

congratulations to milky white and her baby chocolate milk😌

seb is so funny

but seriously, clean up that milk fast or else it will smell so bad in there....

was that Lauryn just randomly doing cartwheels? idk any theatre kids irl but that seems like it's a common thing...

is it just me or has ms Jenn been getting more harsh to Ricky and Seb mainly-

like what did they do to her

no because I actually snorted with laughter at the "you came back" WHAT IS THAT VOICE-

AND THE MASK OMG

yeah so my throat hurts now

I'm dying over here

KOURTNEY'S FACE

SAME GIRL SAME

Ricky's fake death got the whole place in tears /s

he looks like an asthmatic walrus

Seb's on piano, I love

we all know if he was the beast we'd all actually be crying✋

ok but I listen to Julia's version of home on Spotify when I want to cry-

right so gimme a second

is Ricky scratching his face.....while he's dying?

"belle i-" *flop*

round of applause to Ashlyn for trying to make Ricky's earthworm seizure look less.... yknow

Kourtney's just dying there

WAIT IS THAT NATALIE

did she really just disappear for 9 episodes just to come back and stare dramatically into the camera

WAIT SCRATCH THAT SHES HERE TO MURDER ASHLYN AND RICKY

oh so Ricky's wearing a gay shirt now too

so that's the real reason why Rini broke up, see y'all next season when Gini and caswen become canon /j

wait that was a long intro scene-

what was that look Carlos-

TALK TO MY BOY OR ELSE

carlos' run is so funny to me

therapist Ashlyn to the rescue

"that is...super" son you good?

ms Jenn call Benjamin, he would willingly put his loved ones on a rocket and blast them into Venus for you....

maybe

"I don't want you kids to be disappointed" girl you do realise you're the one that's most invested in this?

"a smooth opening night" wasn't there just 1 show though-

like their opening night was closing night too

"I think I was Troy at one point" PLEASE THATS THE MOST ACCURATE DESCRIPTION OF THE SEASON 1 FINALE

me Jenn looks like a serial killer during that clap and I'm lowkey scared for zacky

"I have notes"

oo if you're taking suggestions, lemme get my list

"mother is freaking out" uhhhhhh

right....'mother"

"is everyone sitting down?"

*looks around awkwardly*

*big red slowly sits*

"no..."

please seb was the only one sitting-

does that mean Carlos looked at Seb as soon as he walked in and assumed that everyone else was sitting too or am I a seblos clown🤡

"is this about the transformation"

WOW MAYBE OT IS RICKY

WOW HES A DETECTIVE FOR FIGURING THAT OUT SO QUICK🤩

YO WHY IS NATALIE HERE-

she just shows up when it's convenient? is she gonna be at the sleepover too?

Seb's heavy swallow after Carlos shouts at him makes me so sad

"I never learned how to lie but I figure if I keep my mouth closed, I can't tell the truth" *nods and smiles at Nini when she asks*

why are they casually standing up all over the pizza shop, just sit at a big table and talk instead of blocking passageways and blocking off at least 6 tables-

"how about I invite myself" WHY DO PEOPLE ALWAYS FEEL THE NEED TO INVITE THEMSELVES TO ASHLYN'S HOUSE-

YOU CAN ASK BUT JUST FORCE YOUR WAY IN?

so Cash Caswell has a bigger house than... Dennis Caswell.... who would've thought

ah yes there's the good old EJ 1.0

Nini: "boys vs girls"

Gina: *looks devastated and glances longingly at EJ*

way to be inconspicuous

"but north high should be" *cracks her knuckles in the most uncomfortable way*

good for Ashlyn for getting more confident though

oo bossy big red

"i get bossy around the power tools"

is that why Ashlyn was holding up the drill in episode 8 orrrr 🤠

Lily, leave him alone please

she's literally not blinking, is that what makes her creepy?

the diss at big red and his face afterwards is priceless

isn't that similar to what Gina's mom said to her in season 1? hmmmm

but seriously please don't try to redeem lily, let us have a character to hate, or to love because they're evil.

not everyone's a good guy.

"im not liked here and I don't know what to do"

let antoine finish his salad and it'll fix everything

"hug emoji" *gags*

y'all realize Lily's literally 14?

why is she calling a 16/17 year old from another school for personal advice-

"he gets weird around tools"

I shouldn't be laughing so hard

"deja vu maybe?" awkward silence

I'm dying here I love EJ so so so so much

"where's seb"

*cuts to seb being held hostage hoping that they'd notice he's missing and go look for him*

"don't ask"

"oh ok"

"100% real faux fur" as you should queen

sponsored by target

Kourtney is singlehandedly saving the entire show.

Seb making finger guns make me happier than it should

why is this kinda making me want to have a co-ed sleepover with my non-existent theatre friends

YES YOU DO NEED TO TALK/SING TO SEB CARLOS THANK YOU FOR KNOWING THAT

wait what-

you haven't talked to him all WEEK-

Carlos are you stupid /hj

Benjamin is so adorable I can't

he turned around to come back for her instead of going home. you're "what do you want Jenn🙄X act isn't fooling anyone Benjamin 🙃

10101

1+4+16= 21st?

they placed 21st?

or do I just not remember how to convert to base ten

GIRL DON'T BE RUDE TO HIM, HE'S GONNA SAVE YALL

no ms Jenn, the kids are not eccentric 35 year olds.

aww sebby

is he thinking that Carlos is only with him cuz he's the only other openly gay guy at school-

son you are a perfect little bean don't put yourself down

yes they all ship portwell as they should.

they'll be throwing risotto at the wedding.

not the chocolates. stop there are no chocolates. please stop I'm dying.

Gina you don't have to explain yourself to her

it was a misunderstanding and it's in the past

why is Ashlyn still laughing-

exactly it wasn't a big deal please just move on Nini

Kourtney really be out here saving everything

WHY IS ASHLYN STILL LAUGHING

why do I feel like when Gina finally told Ash about it, she didn't think it was that funny but wanted to feel included in the inside joke so now she brings it up randomly to show that she's in on it....I totally don't do that...

"idk, the farmer type" oh son...

Ashlyn and big red are just spilling the secrets back and forth huh?

OOO EJ AND GINA SITTING IN A TREE K-I-S-S-I-

cmon guys don't look at me like that-

"she is the best" and "we're buddies" don't sound right together

"pretty boy" "sweet boy" best ways to describe EJ

I love him.

and aw he's scared of rejection so he'll hold back just to keep her happy and not awkward how sweet

is Ricky wondering if letting her go(literally his song from last episode) was the best thing he did for Nini because he doesn't feel like it now? hmmm this is getting good

why is everyone so invested in Kourtney and Howie's relationship

PACK UP THE LAZY RICKY THING

oh yes Benji, that's exactly what she's doing

she couldn't follow her dream or whatever so now she's using the kids to gain some of the success she craves. why else would she have that massive hsm poster with her name on it in huge letters in her office.

just casually grab his hand with both your hands and stare at him creepily 🥰

ship jennzzara y'all

the first bump was a missed opportunity to do the baymax "falalala" as a reference to the fact that they watched big hero six while committing arson✋

wait so big red and EJ just left Ricky in the basement and now Ricky invited Carlos when they're supposed to be at the stage?

help no Ricky looks like he's about to tell Carlos he likes him (I know it's about writing the song for seb but still, look at his body language and tell me it doesn't look like that)

Ricky is so mature about this, he really just wants Nini to be happy even though he's hurting-

baby you deserve love, maybe Nini isn't the one for you but don't say you don't deserve it

why does he keep adding bro to the end like he doesn't know how to address Carlos

PLEASE CARLOS HAVING TO ADDRESS THE BRO THING

"let's write a song when we have like 45 minutes to get to the place and help our friends possibly win $50000 at the show in 2 weeks"

"can you hit a high C?"

"that's like the bottom of my range"

why am I laughing

this is so cool to see friendship interactions that we don't normally get to see

Nini why are you being like this-

Gina did nothing wrong??

I saw that, EJ and Gina being the only ones going in the same direction👀

right so obviously Kourtney's waiting until after the menkies to get back with Howie just in case he really is just using her as a way in to east high... obviously... right?

CARLOS

OK ITS COMING GET READY YALL

Why is portwell so awkward all of a sudden

OMG EJ

OMG GINA SAY YES or not, do what you want.

the way she doubts that EJ would genuinely ask so she has to make sure it's not Ashlyn behind it

THE "NOT THAT I KNOW OF"

LIKE WHAT GINA SAID TO JACK ABOUT EJ BEING HER BOYFRIEND

GUYS THEY'RE SOULMATES

I want risotto now please

THEY'RE SO SWEET AND ADORABLY AWKWARD ITS LIKEEK LITTLE KIDS

OOOOOOO what is this place that seblos is in, looks fancy....and secluded

oh wait no Ricky's just standing there

wait is it the bomb shelter

it looks so good what

HSKAGSJAGAJAGWISGSKAUASBWKSVAIWBAISBQKSHIQBWOABWOABDOQBZIQBAIAQBSIWBQISVQKSIANSGOQBSAISBKASBKWBAIABQOSBBSJAHAJAVAJSBAJHSKAHSJAHAJAJAAJAHHHHHHHH

@youranxiousnerd ARE YOU OK?

CUZ IM NOT OK

LOOK AT SEBBY'S FACE

LOOK AT HOW ADORABLE IT IS

THE LYRICS ARE KILLING ME

SEBLOS IS KILLING ME

I AM DEAD

PLEASE SEND HELP

I like to imagine that Frankie and Joe practiced this in their apartment and just had a blast with it.

or maybe that Frankie practiced in secret like what Joe did for the climb

OH THE SUITS

THATS WHERE THAT CLIP IN THE PROMO WAS FROM

AWWW SEBBY'S SO CUTE

HE'S A LITTLE MARSHMALLOW

they're still so awkward with the dance I cant

let's appreciate Frankie's voice though

this episode really was made just for the seblos and portwell stans and you gotta love it

BIG RED GET OUT

WHY DOES HE ALWAYS DO THIS

Seb's little "yeah" IS ADORABLE

you can't tell me that wouldn't have been the best time for them to say I love you....IF FREAKIN BIG RED WASN'T THERE

ok but wait Ricky needs more hugs like that, look at his face

the boy needs love

"bro" please don't let Ricky and Carlos go back to not talking because their friendship is amazing

EJ laughing at Ricky sounding like a cat coughing up a furball is so funny to me

RICKY'S FLOP GETS ME EVERYTIME

I knew it was too good to be true

ok so Ricky's dead, next in line please

this episode was so short but I love it so much. this is what I signed up for for season 2✋

#hsmtmts #hsmtmts s2 #hsmtmts season 2 #ej caswell #ricky bowen #gina porter #hsmtmts spoilers #seblos #seb mathew smith #carlos rodriguez #big red #ashlyn caswell #kourtney greene #lily hsmtmts #ms jenn #mr mazzara #natalie bagley #guac's episode text blocks :)

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olde-scratch · 3 years

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So I watched LUCIDS 1-4 without any prior knowledge...

and here were my thoughts. I didn’t watch any backstory or anything so enjoy my suffering.

PART 1

“So what happens when the people inside of their dreams go to sleep?” They die

“What happens when we wake up? Do they go on living while we’re not there?” THEY DIE-

“Who are they anyway?” they’re faces that our brain catalogs and stores for later use, although it’s also arguable that every time we dream we go to an alternate reality and inhabit the body of another version of ourselves. Now, were you in a car accident and trapped underwater or-

Are they twins?

(Me tuning out to do something)

“-the squirrel in spongebob was your soulmate, making you a Sandy simp-”

Me, snapping back to the video: hold up-

[missed the part about the worksheet, realized it when i rewatched 10 mins later to make this post]

yall speakin gibberish idk what youre saying-

“I’m gonna go to bed.” bro it literally looks like morning-

“You should get some sleep you look terrible.” i get six hours of sleep a night minimum and i look worse than him shut up bro-

“jump into someone else’s dream” ah i know this con-

why they all got the same face-

haha funni meme

“--an interruptiion can create feedback and tear them apart.” Death. I long for thee.

Is that Karl Jacob’s jacket?

“a second grader” makes me think this is a different school system. [i was wrong? i think?]

“[get him to] eat your apple”

[in the dream sequence] weird dream, but ive had weirder. now, Why Pamper’s-

why does he suddenly have a knife-

“You put a filter on the Dreamscape feed?”

“Technically, you are seven years old.”

???????????

the second hand embarrassment is UGGGHHH

[reading the description] you mean like the guy who was knocked out for 2 minutes on a football field and woke to find he’d dreamt 17 years of his life? oh this shall be Fun

PART 2

[I check the description] “jasper cult” what the fu-

how many camp camp references can i make during this

Is the apple a reference to religion or does the creator just really ilke apples?

“meal.”

“meal?”

meal????

Wait why couldn’t that guy eat the apple? If he wanted it in the fruit bowl, wouldn’t there be a chance of the guy eating it anyways?? Why can’t the guy who brought the apple eat it?

well he’s Dead

[debating if I should read the backstory}

n a h h h h h -

Was he gonna feed the dead guy the apple or something? Why is he upset about the apple in this scene???

oooo the grownups are fightinnnngggg

Is he an antagonist?

HE WROTE A BOOK???

oh now i want food

ESTABLISH JUSTICE ENSURE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITYYYYYYYYYYYYY

“I watched all those aforementioned shows” what shows did i miss something what-

man why you gotta hate on her jane austen fanfic let her live bro

string theory! i can get behind that! sorta-

o no he found the memes-

BOY GOT KNOCKED OUT-

kim there’s people that are dying-

is SHE an antagonist?

quinn? calling himself jasper? u sure hes not just nonbinary? is this just a metaphor for transphobic parenting?

“He died... but somewhere, he grew up.” So is your plan to take a Quinn from a different universe and make him your own, thereby robbing another version of yourself from happiness? When does this ever go well?

Yknow most people, when they lose a kid,,,, kinda,,,,,,, dont go on a ceaseless quest to find another version of their kid that grew up without knowing that another version of his mother was invading other peoples’ dreams to find and kidnap him,,,,,,,, like aint u got a therapist-

“Once you get past the point of not knowing what’s real anymore, you realize it doesn’t matter.” Well, I Got Called Out-

PART 3

“you’re real, oliver.”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

“you’ve been infected by the anti-love parasite of Mandadon” the amatonormativity is strong

so anyways ive been infected since birth hbu-

“James Jasperson, creator of Japple” did you mean to Fancy Well-Educated Man in a Black Turtleneck? cause the only FWEMBT i allow near me is prof. hidgens

“are you winning?” says the capitalist

why did you rewind to see his face?? you have the same face????? is this just bc the creator doesnt like working with other people cause in that case same but???????

“it’s a bad idea. i’m not gonna do it.” we’ve all been there. and we’ve all done it.

looks like me trying to study. (i say, a person who has studied a total of five minutes throughout their entire life.)

your “Spartan trial” looks like a bunch of guys standing on a hill pretending to be something they’re not. Let The Man Bring His Snacks.

eat the apple.

is this your first existential crisis or something what a loser lets all point and laugh

“One of you should be spared, the other shall’nt.” did you mean shant or was that a choice-

yall gonna get called out for talking shut UP

“sorry if this is too personal, btw. are you okay?”

me, confused and half understanding what’s going on and also needing to sleep cause its almost one in the morning but wanting to finish what i can find of lucids which i only starting watching cause i saw an animatic of ranboo and dream w audio from it: i don’t know anymore

“i just want my life back... i was gonna get married-” AREN’T YOU LIKE SEVEN-

ay man if this is a sacrificial cult yall gotta get daniel-

UPDATE: I H A V E N O T F O U N D I T -

“oliver”

I F O U N D I T -

WHICH ONE IS QUINN?? WHO’S JASPER???? WHICH ONE IS BENJAMIN???? I THOUGH BENJAMIN WAS SEVEN BUT I THOUGHT HE WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED WHAT-

oliver. eat the apple.

“Can you still have memories even when you’re dreaming?” One time I woke up to my alarm and fell back asleep and in my dream I remembered that I had class in a few minutes and my dream self woke my real self up so fast I thought I was gonna get whiplash. Anyways, I was late to class bc of my computer but that doesn’t matter.

NOPE I FOUND IT. HERE’S THE AUDIO. THE ANIMATIC ONE. FINALLY.

im thinking car crash. but also maybe murder. but also maybe both? is it raining or was he drowning? is he in a coma? hmmmmmm?

wait olivers the one with the apple does that mean he’s the one dreaming? is the ending gonna be him and jasper (quinn? idk) fighting against ben and mrs hills about jasper eating the apple to save oliver from the dream? hmmmmmmmmmm-

waitwaitwait i thought oliver was 7 how is benjamin 7 years younger than him if they look the same age what what what explain america explain what you mean arkansaw-

are the cuts on his nose plot-relevant or

“What if you hadn’t been driving?” So I was right about the car accident but Mrs. Hills still said he was seven so did i mishear her say that BENJAMIN was seven? but even then oliver would be 14 and that would still be illegal-

“How are you feeling?”

“Like you’re a pretty bad therapist.”

mood

“--it makes it all bearable to have power over the stories we write in our heads” that’s why i write fanfiction

HE’S GOT THE NOTEBOOK HE’S GONNA WRITE SOMETHING ONE OF US ONE OF US ONE OF US

WHAT YOU MEAN AN EXPERIMENT THAT’S HIS NAME-

[upon reading the description] so i was right.

wait was that supposed to be the twist in part 2 about the apple in his pocket is that what the existential crisis was about i thought it was because he was introduced to the multiple worlds theory-

PART 4

wait wasnt the other one january 2018 why we going back to 2017-

appol

“--the future and the past all already exist” mhm yep figured this out long ago

there was simultaneously a point in time in which i hadn’t known about this, had been looking it up, had been watching it, and had been writing an ending to this post, and had been posting it the next morning before class. that time is both now and not now. Welcome To The Multiverse Theory or whatever its called-

“--my favorite scene of the movie is waking up next to you.” Mine is eating fast food as I listen to AJJ and play Minecraft. We are not the same.

Now I’m hungry but it’s 1 in the morning and i already put my retainer in god fu-

[reading description] what do you mean previously??? she did that in the first episode????????

[still on description] WHAT DO YOU MEAN WILL QUINN BITE THE APPLE AND GO TO BENJAMINS REALITY ISNT THIS OLIVERS REALITY AND HE HAS TO GET BEN TO BITE THE APPLE WHY IS APPLE CAPITALIZED IS THIS THE DOING OF THE FWEMBT

i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have watched the backstory i should have wa-

[description] oh ive been spelling quinn right the whole time nice

i hope she rejects you /j

WAIT BENJAMIN WAS THE ONE GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE

ISNT HE IN SECOND GRADE-

HE IS SEVEN YEARS OLD HOW IS HE GETTING MARRIED ARE THERE TWO BENJAMINS THAT WE’RE FOCUSING ON-

bro get out of the road ull get hit

how do you knOW WHICH ONE IS QUINN THEY ARE THE SAME PERSON-

wait

hills wants ben to feed quinn the apple bc in his mind, that will give hills and quinn a happy ending and she doesnt want ben to see the apple bc thats gonna mean ben will know that his reality isnt reality at all. so then oliver has to,,,, not let anyone eat his apple? he just has to wake up?

IS HILLS THE VILLAIN AFTER ALL ORRRRR

wait but if ben sees the apple wont he realize that his reality is wrong and his reality will change, making it so that hills doesnt get her son? or is there some time-based rule that says they’re only transported to the reality that the person believes at that moment? or is this another stab at the multiverse thing where an infinite amount of hills gets their happy endings while an infinite amount of hills doesnt and etc etc?

i should have watched the ba-

oooo dramatique

they’re in a time loop?

nope thats a new powerpoint

wait so theyre,,,, no-

wait-

nvm-

IS THE BEN WE KNOW AN ADULT GETTING MARRIED TO ISABELLE OR NOT-

“they were actually pretty nice” didnt they throw someone off a cliff-

oh so it got confusing THEN??? NOT BEFORE?????

“it all seemed so real.” is that Not the point of vivid REM sleep hallucinations-

is oliver gonna show ben the apple and ruin hills’ whole operation

WHO ARE ALEX AND RYAN-

“what’s 25-8″ bro dont do this to me-

yep hes gonna show the apple

ayyy the guy who stole karl jacobs jacket it back

the second hand embarrassment is back and I Hate It

all that happens in episode ONE??? bro get some better writers that is bad pacing

“it’s the best!” wait until season eight. no show has a good season eight.

quinn knows about the apple thing w the dreams and multiverse and realities dont he

YOU KILLED HIM

NOT KARL JACOBS NOOOOO HES ALREADY DIED ONCE

oliver is v relatable

wHaT iN tArNaTiOn-

lemme hear that explanaton again-

is bill cipher gonna show up? i hope bill cipher shows up. i miss gravity falls

“ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” moooooooood

did hills murder quinn

is your family the jasper cult

TOXXIICCCCCC get that lady out of your life quinn that is so toxic

“ ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree! ah! a tree! ah! a tree! ah a tree!” mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT’S THE END NO WHAT WHY NO

The Adventures of Benjamin and Oliver

he is Not Good

ope-

wait so ben is equal parts an adult AND a child?? okay that clears a lot up

I MEAN HE WAS RIGHT THO BEN U CAN’T REALLY ARGUE ON THAT-

ew get off the floor

butterfly effect, multiverse theory, memory decay, and your imagination ALL exist yall gonna ignore that cause you wanna be famous?

“We already know what the future looks like!”

aRe yOu sUrE aBoUt tHaT-

to add to the list of bad things: Cats (2019)

YA BOI THINKS IT’S NOT ALREADY FIFTY YEARS TOO LATE TO START FIGHTING CLIMATE CHANGE FFFFF

BINGO BABYYYY

get what what

what mapped-

awwwww he thinks THEY’RE creating the multiverse

you gonna dismiss the multiverse theory bc of something you created in your current reality? loooserrrrrr

ABUSE YOUR GODLIKE POWERS

she draggin that seven year old

a lot makes sense now why didnt i do this first-

Jasper

the food shortages-

bro that calculators like 90 bucks at walmart

imagine meeting a stranger and they know Everything about your life like that’s gotta be so weird

what’s even weirder is them telling you you’re the deity of a cult that sacrifices animals

THAT FOURTH WALL BREAK WAS-

KARL JACOBS IS DEAD NOOOOOO

ooohhh there’s context for that

OOOOHHHH THERE’S CONTEXT FOR THIS TOOOO

w h a t -

W H A T -

Conclusion:

it’s 2 in the morning and i need sleep but hOOOOO MY GODS THAT WAS GOOD IS IT OVER OR NOT IDK ANYMORE IM TIRED THAT WAS CRAZY I HOPE QUINN AND JASPER GO ON TO BE VERY GOOD FRIENDS, AND I HOPE BENJAMIN AND OLIVER STAY VERY GOOD FRIENDS AND I HOPE HILLS FINDS A THERAPIST WAS A LITTLE CONFUSING BUT I ENJOYED IT

if i dream about apples im suing /j /lh

#lucids #nicholas podany #there's a metaphor in there somewhere #but im not gonna be the one to find it #i dont think i dreamed about apples #youre safe for now podany #for now #EDIT #I PUT 'something their not'#WRONG THERE #I HAVE NO EXCUSE #IM SORRY

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elhokar-kholin · 3 years

Note

If Kaladin had actually given Elhokar hero lessons, how do you think those sessions would have gone?

so... i made a post recently about how i understand (i know lots of things, but not understand) literally nothing about them whatsoever. so answering this ask isnt going to keep in line with what i usually do of only saying something if im confident in it and reasonably sure it wont change later. AKA me from the future might not agree with what i think and say now. so just putting that out there.

so the thing about this is it probably never could have happened. elhokar was desperate, and in his desperation, whether this idea of kaladin teaching him was something that he had been stewing on for weeks to months, or something he thought of while drunk (i imagine it would be the former, though he probably didn't think about it in specific, accomplishable ways), he finally worked up the courage with the help of some alcohol to ask kaladin to do this completely un fleshed out plan of figuring out how to make elhokar not be a shit king. now, this was doomed to fail for a few reasons.

number one: elhokar had a very very good chance of legitimately being incapable of being a good king.

maybe he could have ended up (with some guidance) as a good leader at some smaller scale, like a small town, but even that is debatable. kaladin instinctively knows things, and while i definitely think he had a negative bias against elhokar and his King Skillz in that moment due their relationship being at a low point, his instinct saying 'yeah thats never gonna happen' was probably completely correct.

number two: kaladin probably would not agree to it.

2a. in that moment where he did ask, kaladin thought he was being weird as hell and was so fucking confused. he didn't know at all where this was coming from, because he is blind to how other people view him a lot of the time, and by extension how elhokar had been idolizing him. they probably hadn't seen much of each other ever since elhokar tried to execute him and throw him in jail. from kaladin's perspective, elhokar tried to kill him, then is coming to him like he has all the secrets to life, which is very baffling to him. unrelated sidenote i need to rewrite this stupid coppermind article on elhokar i did not write it but i want to fix some shit in here. so kaladin in that situation is like WTF????? in his head but out loud he's like 'um.. i dont know if thats possible for you' which is a rejection. i don't know if he would have said the same words if he was at a relative high point in his opinion of elhokar rather than potentially the lowest point that he got in wor that he was in that chapter (thinking about it the chapter where he was in prison might have been the lowest but this is a low point is what im saying), but thats probably an opinion he would have kept throughout the bumpy road of whatever tf their relationship is.

2b. kaladin has shit to do, man. dude was working double triple shifts in words of radiance, got into urithiru and was like the only windrunner, and was training overtime to train some windrunners to have some squires ready for the expedition to kholinar. after he got back he was made a highmarshall and we dont see too much in the ob-row timeskip but he wasnt getting much sleep either, and he probably had a lot of shit to do when he was awake, battles aside. when would he have had the time to even begin to think about lesson plans for this goal that in his head is sort of unachievable, let alone find time for actually talking to elhokar about shit.

so like even if elhokar did ask at a point where kaladin felt less like he was absolute crap and more like [??????? but more positive than the absolute crap thing], kaladin would still have been like dude what. and kaladin also would have been like dude i do not have the time. even in an elhokar lives au (because the first time kaladin would have potentially had any time whatsoever for that is post-kholinar), shallan would probably be the radiant he was interacting more due to lightweaver reasons. and elhokar has a great deal of respect for shallan as well, certainly not as much as he has for kaladin, but he does value shallan's skill and opinion, and shallan would not only be a lot more willing to give elhokar some support and advice, they would be working closer together anyway because of their shared order. he wouldn't be getting this nebulous "secret to life" stuff that he wanted to get from the guy who survived a highstorm, almost single handedly saved an army, beat shardbearers with nothing but a spear, and fell into the chasms only to crawl back out again even after a highstorm, but, and my future self might disagree on this, but he might have just been looking for advice on how to live his life.

but, all of that aside. lets say that kaladin for some reason decided that it was personally important to him to train elhokar to not be a shit leader, that he potentially thought it was not a lost cause, and if he did then he cared enough to try anyway. postponing kholinar (which he would have the power to do in this case, since elhokar would be listening to whatever he said*) might have given him more time for that after that request, or else he might have had to think about it and agree post-kholinar, which would involve an elhokar lives au, which i dont want to deal with all the implications so im going to say in this scenario he accepted after elhokar asked in wor 80, or maybe directly after urithiru was discovered (aka later that night) with a promise to start teaching him right after he got back from hearthstone. god i feel like alternate history hub. the later that night thing would have been more likely because that is after his whole 180 about elhokar. that way, the weird intense commitment to help elhokar be a better leader was baked in to all the other weird dramatic shifts about how he thought about elhokar.

what i think kaladin would do?

possibility 1: he would have elhokar start small. i think he would have elhokar teach a single person to do something. he would get a new recruit, and tell elhokar to teach him to be a soldier. maybe the new recruit is one of lopens cousins who saw elhokar blackout drunk and being pushed around by lopens mom to eat his food, so he's not intimidated by him. the new guy not being intimidated is key, because he can't just do what elhokar says because he's the king. after the day, kaladin talks to the new recruit then elhokar, seeing what went right and wrong, then tells elhokar what changes to make. if somehow everything went right with that, kaladin would next give him a group of 5 to lead in some way, and if that worked, a group of 50.

possibility 2: a job shadow. either kaladin job shadowing elhokar, watching all his fuck ups happen in real time, and constantly whispering advice which is offputting to the people elhokar is meeting with but its funny. the issue here comes with kaladin not knowing a lot of political theory. as good of a leader as kaladin is (which is insanely), elhokar is more well versed in political theory (as an example think of the time kaladin was like 'why is beating sadeas in a duel going to wreck him its literally just a duel' there would be a lot of situations in elhokar's work as a king that kaladin would probably be similarly confused on), even if he doesn't apply it well. either that, or elhokar job shadowing kaladin, watching kaladin train the windrunners, and breaking to explain some things to elhokar every once in a while, which elhokar would theoretically learn from. the issue here of course comes with how both of these guys both have sort of incredibly important jobs that they could probably only carve out a few hours at most for something like that. unless elhokar abdicated.

abdication.... no i shouldn't go into all of this this should be a separate 2000 word post. but abdication could come into play and is related to that *asterisk earlier.

i can not think of a third possibility, although there probably is one. i would think that possibility 1 would be more likely in my opinion.

some meme possibilities i came up with:

- kaladin lets elhokar borrow syl and elhokar wears a hat and syl is in the hat pulling bits of his hair like ratatouille and basically operating elhokar and she makes him be an ideal windrunner whenever she feels like he's fucking up

- kaladin presides over the document signing meetings and whenever elhokar is about to sign a document he thinks isn't good he slaps the pen out of his hand and has a disapproving glare. elhokar has to do the walk of shame across the room to get the pen everytime this happens

- training montage with "Gonna Fly Now" in the background where there is no dialogue and it just shows elhokar visibly failing and he tries to lift a rock with a piece of paper on it that says "kingly responsibility" and fails and kaladin shakes his head, then there's a training montage of idk him learning the spear or training other bridgemen or other kaladin-y things and wearing a bandana for no reason then by the end of the montage he successfully lifts the kingly responsibility rock

- they just completely switch jobs for a while while elhokar gets his shit together. all hail king kaladin

(+ my first thoughts)

#SORRY FOR THIS GETTING SO LONG LMFAOO i did not mean it to #also sorry for posting this so long after i got the ask i got caught up in some irl stuff #thank you genuinely for the ask #its almost 1am im not proofreading this if you see a typo or continuity error no you don't #ask #long post #the hero #room temp milk #unnamed syl tag #my posts #unnamed discord tag #stupid in chief

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flowerslightning · 4 years

Text

The OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) in FF7

This thing actually caught my eyes while reading a few theory about FF7R and the word OCD appear in their certain analysis, in IG, youtube comments and some posts in tumblr too. Dunno why but they always relate Biggs with OCD. I looked back to the scenes where Biggs appear and... Okay, i understand why they thinj Biggs has OCD or perfectionist

A lot of people, including the psych students themselves easily confused with OCD and perfectionist (I got confused by it quite often too). Now, is Biggs OCD or is he just a perfectionist? Let's take a deeper look at it

Biggs is not a famous character. So fans dont really care about him, but I do

Disclaimer : i'm not a psychologist. Im an intern and still studying. Psychiatric is not my major field but i got assigned there as an intern for quite a time and we got exposed a lot about psychology too. We didnt learn them professionally like the real psyche students, we learned (and still under training) through real life experience + a little bit from the books.

So there might be wrong interpretation here and there. Pls correct me if I'm misleading u. And pardon my english. Pls dont use any of these terms to diagnose urself. Remember, I'm a student, not a professional.

I kins of blame the social media for portraying OCD in such a nasty way, when someone with OCD is actually suffering inside.

OCD is not just about 'clean clean, must clean this place till squeaky clean' and OCD is not about being perfectionist. OCD and perfectionist are two different thing.

Perfectionist is more to a demand demeanour, eg "I want the cake to be like this. I want it to be pink. No, not that pink, it must be neon pink with slight purple. Do it again. No, i dont want that pink. Do it again. Ahhh yess, nice pink." Someone with perfectionist, after they got their result, they will immediately bcome calm and satisfied. Perfectionist is obviously different from OCPD (Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder). OCPD falls under Personality Disorder and it is different from OCD. Im not going to talk about that

Credit goes to crazyheadcomics.

Look at how OCD got spoken from the media perspective. It is very much resemble to Biggs, dont u think? In reality, someone with OCD always feel stress about everything around them, and they will find it hard to complete their task.

OCD has two components - Obsessive and Compulsive

| 1. Obsessive. It is a repeating thoughts about something and often occur until it makes someone feel stress about it. Eg, u think that ur hand will get bacteria infection if u touch a chair, door, fridge or when holding someone's hand. This thought always appear in ur mind everytime u touch the door, chair, fridge or somebody's hand, but when u touch ur shoes, u never think about the bacteria (in certain cases, some patients become scare of everything they touch)

| 2. Compulsive. It is a repeating of the same actions to fulfill the 'obsession' in order to reduce the stress acted upon them. Usually the 'action' has a specific ways in which the patient believe he has to do it like this or that way or else he will fail. Eg, after touching the chair, he will immediately wash his hand 10x from left to right. He believes the hand washing wont be effective if he starts from right to left

Another sign of OCD is when someone re-checking the door lock few times. Its normal for us to re-check once/twice the door lock for confirmation, but for people with OCD, they will re-check the door lock for about 6-10 times and still not feel satisfied and later they stress out. And also the OCD people, they tend to get annoyed when something is not in particular order and they will immediately fix it eventhough they know they're wrong.

I met a funny woman at the hosp arranging our students' books according to its thickness, when I asked her why did she arranged our books like that,

She replied : "Doctor said I have CDO"

Me : "Sorry, CDO? Never heard of it"

She : "It is actually OCD but I feel so stress hearing that term so I put it in alphabetical order. CDO, much better"

We both had a good laugh. Her case was not serious though, but she was feeling miserable with her thoughts and decided to meet a psychiatrist. I would say she was still in early stage for someone with OCD, but may lead to severe if left untreated

It is really hard to satisfy and convince someone with OCD and they always feel stress about something they shouldnt care too much about. U can say OCD is a fastidious type, and they're actually more than that

If we want to relate this condition with Bigg's case., urmm. The only time where I can spot him being different than the other characters is when he's busy sweeping his front house and when he pat Cloud's head during the Sector 7 plate fall.

The cleaning stuff isnt exactly weird thing for a human to do. But it is something odd, I mean, he just finished his mission with Jessie and survived a jump from the plate, and yet he still have the energy to sweep dry leaves, AT NIGHT! He can wait till tomorrow though and should get himself a proper rest.

Wedge says Biggs has a habit of overthinking stuff

And there we see Biggs sweeping the dry leaves. It might be because he is trying to distract himself from doing his bad habit - overthinking. But urm , i think there'll be higher chance for someone to overthink when doing house chore like Biggs is doing. This is where lots of people say Biggs cleaning the house at night is bcause he has OCD or he's a perfectionist.

But I dont think thats the case. For real, he is completely normal. No sign of him acting weird in that scene. If he really does have OCD or he's a perfectionist, we'll see more of him arguing with Barret about unnecessary stuff. He cant become one of Avalanche's strongest member (not exactly strong, but hey, he's trustworthy). Also, if u notice, Biggs have one earring on his right ear. Someone with OCD will feel irritated by it bcause his ear doesnt look 'balance'. OCD people, even in mild case, they want everything about them to be balance and in good order.

After trying to understand Biggs way of thinking and style through his short screentime, I strongly believe this guy has no such thing as OCD or being a perfectionist. Biggs just cares tooooo much about his friends, he thinks 10 times ahead from the bigger picture in which it frightens him about the bad consequences that will occur to people he cherish.

He is the type that always have a back up plan in his mind. He thinks of 5 possible bad things and comes out with 10 solutions. That's the power of an overthinker like Biggs I'll tell ya

Biggs probably cleaning his front house area at night bcause the next early morning, he will need to leave his house for the bombing mission. Better take care of things the night before the big day. He can ditch the cleaning work but he wont do it, not bcause he's a perfectionist/OCD, but try to imagine this, if ur front house is full with dry leaves and rubbish, it will be unpleasant for the neighbours next to ur house to see. Living in the slum means higher chance for u to get sick if u dont take care of ur surrounding hygiene. Biggs is a kind man, and I believe he doesnt want to upset his neighbours

He probably has overthink this matter like "If i dont do this now, I probably dont have time for doing it tomorrow. Maybe I'll broke my leg from the mission and this trash will be left untouched, then there'll be high chance for the children around here to get sick. What if they get infectious disease bcause of this dry leaves? And then the parents will be worried and the Sector 7 Slum will be in chaos etc etc. Time for plan A. Let's clean this place"

Besides, remember the post where I mentioned about Mental Health First Aid? Biggs, as the side character gives the best MFA to Cloud even without knowing what Cloud had gone through. Biggs is just toooo kind with his friends, he cares too much causing him to overthinks about his friends conditions. He can notice even the slightest change in his friend's behaviour and with his own instinct, he cheers for them

Aww man, how can u not love his personality? He's the sweetest side character ever (and kinda hot too).

Soo as the conclusion for my post here, Biggs does not have OCD. He's a side character with a big heart who cares tooooooo deeply about his friends that leads him to overthink too much.

However, if the devs say Biggs really has OCD then my statement about him will be invalid. I'm sure they have put everything in a very close detail look.

Btw, I personally think Biggs kind of portrays the other small side of Cloud, the overthinking part for their romantic partner. But Biggs express his worry through words while Cloud express it through his actions, eg - like how he always keep an eye on Tifa. He never speak it directly like "I'm worry about Tifa, I must help her", he just simply be with her either she needs a help or not. While Biggs clearly says "Jessie been acting weird, I should go if she needs any - help -"

Action speaks louder than words but sometimes our eyes failed to listen.

Alright, that's it. Thanks for being with me till the end.

#final fantasy 7 #final fantasy 7 remake #cloud strife #final fantasy vii #biggs #biggs final fantasy #ffvii biggs #mygif #character analysis

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tfw-no-tennis · 4 years

Text

hhhhhhxh

more abt hxh bc my last post was too long n i had to split it off holla

so i left off talking abt when gon woke up....i love how polite gon is to pretty much everyone - hes such a good lad all the time. s/o to his aunt for raising him right (tho i think hes also just a rlly good boy inherently too)

also is he named gon bc ging was like ha ha im boutta be GONe lol seeya kid!!!! like ????

i find it interesting that kurapika and hisoka fought....we really havent seen them interact at all yet. also hisoka is so smirk-y i hate that bitch...what did he say to kurapika??????

this poor red shirt old guy lmao hisoka is SO clearly uninterested in fighting him and then he fucking dies. rip mdude

what did hisoka whisper to HIM??? guess we’ll never know #RIPLegend

oh mannnn if killua had just won against pokkle then he wouldnt have had to deal with illumi doing That to him :( my smug son......

leorio is such a good dude....also its so funny to me how tall and lanky leorio is, espec compared to the other 3 main characters lmaoooo

or maybe those 3 are just rlly short??? i mean gon and killua are literally 12, but whats kurapikas excuse

GODDDD I HATE THIS BIIIIITCH. FUCK OFFFFFFF tho the evil piano music slaps. but jeeeeesus illumi is so creepy and awful, and seeing him take off his disguise is not any better a second time...he and hisoka truly deserve each other wrow

does illumi have hair powers??? cause it kinda looks like it. or maybe hes just gay and dramatic

ok but the sick electric guitar riff (?) that played when illumis face was revealed was lowkey kinda hilarious

man i was so wrong abt killua knowing that that was illumi :( poor kid

killua is immediately freaking out and meanwhile illumi looks bored as hell. dude ur the worst

killua: [freaking out] illumi, completely blank-faced: hey

I HATE HIMMMM even tho his catman design is regrettably kinda cute

why do illumi and hisoka both have such snatched waists i hate this

wtf so killua has another different brother??? i assumed he attacked illumi....how many fuckgin zoldyk sibling are there?????

leorio ur too normie for this conversation lmao. also wow fucked up family huh

killua looks so like...small and helpless, which is so at odds from what we’ve seen of him so far :( this poor kid

illumi totally has some weird brain powers man callin it now

gon: wow killuas family sounds wack... satotz: oh lmao you havent even heard the rest

KILLUA ;_;

this poor baby assassin :( :( :(

IMMM INCONSOLABLE. HE WANTS TO BE FRIENDS W/GON.......ARE YOU KIDDING....AUGHHHHHHHH

meanwhile gon decided he and killua are BEST FRIENDS like 10 mins after they met. GOD

like in the recap ep he called killua his best friend ;_; and meanwhile killua doesnt even think they ARE friends god destroy me

this calming classical music is throwing me off vbhjfjhbsdkgndks

i sense that leorio and kurapika are rapidly acquiring a new son

DAMN THIS IS SO FUUUUCKEDDDDD illumi is such a crusty bitch wow. leave killua alone asshole

all that stuff abt killua like, only thinking he wants to befriend gon but really wanting to kill him....that sure sounds like some ‘worst fears’ type of shit for someone like killua....illumi is such a classic abuser wow

i have 2 know is satotz like, repeating this entire conversation verbatim in a calming monotone to gon rn. like....

LEORIOOOOO I LOVE UUUUUUUU AUGHHHH him telling killua it doesnt matter if illumi is his brother, fuck that guy, beat him up as usual and leave.....ooooughhhh leorio is such a good dude ;_;

and the OF COURSE him saying the obvious - that gon and killua are ALREADY friends....i love this, i feel like leorio said all the exact things the audience is thinking...yet it still didnt get thru to killua bc hes so rattled by illumi appearing, and the abuse in general

i think if gon were there things wouldve gone much differently

of COURSE crusty bitch illumi is like oh ok now i have to kill gon.....biiiiitch i hate uuuuu

also that just shows that hes lying to killua (which we already knew obvs), bc if it were inevitable that killua would kill gon to like, test himself or w/e, then why not just wait for that to happen? that would have a much bigger impact on killua than illumi killing gon....its obvious that illumi is just manipulating him, but killua is too BSOD to be able to tell (also, hes 12)

ok bitch illumi is preaching abt not needing friends but he and hisoka are definitely fucking and theyve been teamed up for the entire hunter exam it seems.....what a hypocrite. hate this guy

god im so glad we didnt rlly get to see whatever the fuck illumi did to that random hunter examiner guy’s face. jeeeeesus. also i cant tell but i wonder if him forcing that info out of the guy was the result of his freaky mind powers or if the guy was just like oof ouch pins in me face

LEORIO AND KURAPIKAAAA THE PROTECT GON SQUAD!! and joined by new member hanzo!!! who ironically beat gon up for 3 hours str8 like, a very short amount of time ago lmao. but still i love that sm

illumi u dumb bitch.....tho i dont buy for a minute that he didnt already realize that killing gon would disqualify him...he defs just wanted to get under killuas skin even more :^(

KILLUAAAA ;_; when he goes to step back from illumi but illumi tells him not to....ughhh HATE this guy, leave this poor kid alone. no wonder he wanted to leave

illumi saying theres only 1 way that killua can stop him - does he mean by killing him, or something more specific, like some forbidden zoldyk murder technique?

‘your beloved gon’ wow gay. theyre 12 and theyre dating ok. killua is literally that kid whos like wow i wonder if gon likes me...and meanwhile gon is like wow cant believe me and killua have been dating for 3 months now

leorio saying ‘we wont let him kill you or gon’ ;_; leorio ily sm...thats like the exact right thing to say - hes offering protection and reassurance as an adult figure...unfortunately killua is clearly too freaked out to even process anything outside of illumis gaslighting and abuse

also illumi is defs doing something to killua w/his eyes via his freaky mind powers. js

illumi i hate you stop being weirdly cute. augh

classic abuse tactics, being like ha ha nvm i wasnt gonna kill gon! jk!

killua just shutting down completely after that :( :( noooo

and then he kills that old guy and leaves, ‘proving’ that illumi is right....noooooOOOO

and now we boutta see gon go FULL shounen protag for the first time, oh FUCKKKKKK yesssss

this is the first time we’ve seen gon angry oooh man and of COURSE its on killuas behalf,....im so fuckign emo already looooord

god ok the episode preview where its gon saying ‘do leorio and i look alike?’ YES U DO LOL youre father and son so jot that down

oof, gon and illumi have such fundamentally different POVs on like, family and life and morals, and you can tell by their 4-line exchange before gon does the ICONIC one-handed grab’n’fling

AUGHHHH gon saying hes gonna rescue killua....SO good...he recognizes that killuas family is wack as hell and killua shouldnt be w/them - the classic ingrained ‘found family is more important than blood family’ stuff

tho thats an interesting contrast to gon himself, whos looking for his deadbeat dad

‘but it wasnt his choice’ that so good ily gon BEST boy, hes so perceptive and good......he knows that killuas hand was forced and that he needs to be RESCUED (love that word choice) from his shitty abusive family

of course kurapika and leorio voiced complaints ;_; best parents

kurapika should be a lawyer tbh

leorioooo ;_; such a good dude, saying he should be disqualified instead

HOW is leorio a stronger combatant than that old dude hvbajufjbsja that guy had some moves it seemed, and leorio has,....a knife? a briefcase? the classic premed attitude of ‘fuck it, i could die anytime, lets do this’? like.....cmon vhabjdfjbhsf i refuse to believe this man is of any use in a fight. ill believe it when i see it

pokkle pls ur not plot-important enough to be jumping into this convo rn

tho i am curious abt what hisoka said to kurapika. tho i agree that thats irrelevant to the discussion

gon repeating satotz’s wisdom :’) and saying that killua will definitely pass if he takes the exam again...ough

gon is SO GOOD i cant get over it !!!!!!!!! AUGHHHH....recusing killua from his abusive family and making it so killua never has to see them again is like...so good. what a good good perfect boy.

also thats like, the perfect response to this. killing illumi would just start a ton of drama, and killua would be conflicted abt that....but removing killua from his situation is perfect

ok ive ranted a lot ill talk abt the rest later woohoo

PREDICTIONS:

i predict that hisoka will show up in this upcoming zoldyk arc somewhere bc illumis gonna be in it (i assume) and theyre dating. also hisoka is a central character so itd make sense for him to show up in the second major arc. tho tbh this could end up being completely false and i wouldnt be that shocked lmao

i think leorio is gonna get Big Sad someday bc hes like, so normal compared to the other MCs, and also hes suuuuch a bleeding heart (i love him....) so i feel like thats gonna lead to some sadness for him once his friends start doing crazy shit or w/e

also i predict that if he gets nen itll be like healing nen or st. does that even exist??? idk jack shit abt nen lmao

i think that illumi has hypnosis powers or something, even just based on design alone. it could defs be for aesthetic (character design in hxh is wild), but his eyes look noticeably different from any other characters. also he was doing some freaky shit to killua. also i held this prediction before seeing the part where this is brought up so we’ll see if its right lmao

as for this upcoming arc - ruth and i are wondering if itll be similar to the vinsmoke drama in one piece - character goes back to abusive family, squad goes to rescue them...and then character refuses to be recused. w/sanji it was partially bc the vinsmokes threatened to kill zeff, his TRUE dad, but i predict in this case it could be more like the zoldyks saying ‘look killua these 3 weirdos showed up looking for you, convince them to leave or we’ll kill them’ and killua will be like, oh shit bc like.....think abt it. the vinsmokes targeted zeff (and not the strawhats) bc they knew they could easily kill him. same goes here, i assume - a family of trained assassins vs Good Good Fishing Rod Smell-Power Boy (who hasnt thrown a single punch yet), Lanky Dr Man With A Switchblade We Havent Seen Him Use Onscreen, and Mx 2 Wooden Sticks, Bloodlust, and Arachnophobia - 3 For 1 Deal! its a no-contest. so thats one thing i could see happening, potentially

im way too tired to remember my other predictions rip lmao

#excited 2 see moreeee #lj watches hxh #hxh

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shhh-no-ones-home · 5 years

Text

give what it takes* 1/2 Remington leith x reader

+++++++++

hello i still hate writing for actual people but ya girls gotta do what ya girls gotta do, i love palaye and ive been like super obsessed with them again lately cause im seeing them in may and just bought their palette and cant stop thinking about it so ya know here it is #noshame #someshame

* - smut, mentions of sex, mention of kinks, thigh riding, etc. Read at your own risk

song: get some by ghosted

+++++++++

the concert ended but the party didnt. i was lucky enough to be on tour with palaye but still had work to do when the shows were over. it was a week we had stops that were close enough together to stay at an air b&b for the night, which was nice since i could finally sit down and get things done. we had all went back to the house after the concert to get cleaned up, the boys being extremely sweaty from the stage lights and high energy performance. i sat at the island typing as they all ran around getting ready for the night ahead of them. i sat quietly as they conversed with their girlfriends who were visiting for the weekend.

i looked up when remington threw himself into the bar stool across the counter from me. he smiled at me before picking up one of the apples from the bowl on the counter and tossing it in the air. he took a large bite out of it as emerson walked out into the kitchen/living room.

"you going with us tonight?"

i looked down at my laptop to scan my work before looking back at him.

"i dont think so, its already eleven and ive got too much work to do tonight."

he frowned at me before gesturing to remington.

"you coming?"

rem looked at me and i peered at him over my laptop.

"ya know what, why dont you guys go ahead, ill stay here and help y/n."

i looked up completely, shock written on my features.

"you dont have to do that rem, you should go and have fun."

his 'girlfriend' walked up to his side and played with his hair.

"yeah remi, come have fun with us, she doesnt need your help to do her job."

she peered at me and i sent her a stern glare.

he rubbed her back.

"why dont you go hang out with them, ill be right here when you get back."

she leaned down and kissed him and led the way for them all to leave. when the door was closed me and remi were the only two left in the house. he tapped the counter as i went back to typing.

"so, its been a while since we were alone together."

i looked up at him.

"yep."

i went back to typing.

"whatcha doin over there?"

"fixing lighting."

"whats wrong with the lighting?"

i looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

"the yellows and greens where washing Emerson out the whole show. i have to fix the positioning on my renderings for the next venue."

he nodded and made an o with his mouth. i went back to typing.

"is there anything else you have to fix?"

i looked up at him.

"a couple things."

"like?"

i sighed.

"remington if you keep asking me questions im not gonna get anything done."

i laughed lightly and he smiled at me, throwing his hands in the air in defeat.

"okay, okay, if you want help with anything let me know, im gonna go chill on the couch."

he motioned behind him and i nodded before getting back to work.

---

i sighed and stretched, i had been sitting on this bar stool for almost two hours. none of the group had showed back up yet and remington was still sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone. i closed my laptop as i heard him laugh out loud at something he saw on his feed. i rolled my eyes before standing and shaking out my legs.

"god, i feel like ive been curled over forever."

he turned to look at me as i made my way to the couch, sitting on the arm rest next to him. he slid down the settings on his phone to look at the time more clearly.

"well, in all fairness you have been sitting on your computer for over two hours, its one."

i groaned.

"yeah, im surprised no ones back yet."

he stretched and clasped his hands together behind his head, lengthening his body.

"im not, when the boys drink, the boys drink."

he laughed and i just shook my head.

"whatever."

he nudged my leg with his elbow.

"do you wanna do something now that your work is done?"

i shrugged and let my legs fall on either side of the arm rest.

"what did you have in mind?"

i looked down at him, seeing him quickly opening youtube then shoving his phone in my face.,

"look at this."

i leaned back a little before taking it and watching the video. i looked at remington funny.

"really?"

he shrugged.

"what?"

i turned the phone around to show him.

"boy out here on the weird side of youtube."

he laughed and took the phone back.

"i mean you didnt have to take it."

i rolled my eyes.

"yeah but i was curious."

he raised an eyebrow and smirked at me.

"arent we all."

i winked at him.

"you know it."

he leaned toward me and rested his arm on my thigh, smacking my knee with his hand. i shifted.

"what?"

i shook my head.

"nothing."

he tapped my my knee with his fingers like he was playing a keyboard. i watched his hand intently before looking back at him staring at me. he raised an eyebrow.

"okay maybe im just a little touch starved."

i ran a hand through my hair and looked away from him. he scooted closer to me.

"touch starved?"

i looked back at him and nodded slowly. he locked eyes with me and squeezed my lower thigh.

"are you okay?"

i shrugged.

"i just dont touch people or let people touch me and thats one of the leading reasons im depressed and sick all the time. like adult humans need affection and hugs and kisses and things like that but i cut myself off so i dont really get the things that my brain needs to be happy."

i looked ahead of me, i didnt care to see his pity ridden face. suddenly he moved and hugged me tightly from the side, his left ear pressed to my right arm.

"do you feel better yet?"

i laughed.

"yes rem, definitely."

i ruffled his hair lightly with my left hand and he looked up at me but didnt remove his arms from my body.

"liar."

i slouched into him.

"okay, its not like you can fix it right away."

he loosened his grip a little before kneeling next to me on the couch and squishing my face in his hands.

"what else would you want me to try?"

i shrugged.

"did you ever used to try things to feel better? like find one person to hug everyday or something?"

i laughed and he let go of my face. i just shook my head,

"what?"

i looked at him knowingly.

"sex. i used to have sex."

his face went straight.

"sex."

i nodded.

"yeah, i used to have sex to make myself feel better, it was intimate and 'affectionate' touching for at least a night. in case you haven't noticed though i havent been with anyone since we started plans for tour months ago so yeah theres nothing i can really do about that."

he sat back on his knees defeated.

"i guess you couldnt masturbate either cause thats still not another person touching you, that you touching yourself."

he looked at me with a straight face before we both laughed. he laid back on the couch, his feet pushed up against the arm rest i was sitting on. he rested one hand behind his head and the other on his stomach.

"so, did you just find random dudes or?"

i sent him a look.

"really, thats what your worried about right now?"

he shrugged.

"i figured it was a ligther topic i dont know."

i just shook my head.

"no they werent just random dudes, you gotta have a connection first ya know. they were people that i had hung out with before, kind of close but not enough for them to care if we slept together and then didnt talk for a little while ya know. it was always easier that way cause i knew who wanted a screw and who wanted more depending on the mood i was in."

he raised a brow.

"particular people for particular kinks or turn ons?"

i smiled at him.

"yeah sometimes."

"like?"

"like people or like turn ons and kinks?"

"turn ons and kinks, i couldnt care less about the people."

i laughed at the face he made.

"what you want a reference?"

"just trying to see what kind of person youre hiding under that hard exterior."

i raised a brow and smirked at him.

"okay, well for starters id say soft touches."

he laughed.

"wow, soft touches?"

"dont laugh, its a turn on, start light and build up ya know."

"youre right, continue."

"neck fetish, not just like i like necks im talking like hickeys and kissing and licking, weird vampire shit ya know."

"amen to that."

i laughed at him.

"thigh riding-"

"im sorry what?"

"thigh riding?"

"yeah what the hell kinda?"

i lifted my foot up on the couch so it wasnt dangling in front of it anymore.

"its where you are on someones lap or like knelt over one of their thighs while their sitting down and grind yourself on them to get off. i guess in my instance making out with someone while they touch me, but while thats happening im riding their thigh.? "

"that sounds like itd be an experience."

i looked at him with a sly smile.

"oh it is."

there was a pause.

"can you show me?"

if i was drinking i would have spat all over the place.

"you what?"

"can you should me? i mean your on the arm of the chair, you could do it on that right?"

i laughed.

"do you know how wet that would make someone? the couch would be near ruined."

i laughed.

"so do it on me."

i stopped and looked at him, he was staring up at me with a very serious face.

"You're joking right?"

"What's wrong with two friends hooking up?"

I shrugged.

"I don't know how about the fact that you kinda have a girlfriend."

"Oh come on no one here even likes her, not even me, and we're not really dating she's just like around."

I rolled my eyes.

"Tell her that."

"I'm telling you that, now get over here and show what the heck thigh riding is."

#wattpad #smut #x reader #remington leith #remington kropp #palaye royale #palaye royale imagine #one shot #thigh riding

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comicteaparty · 6 years

Text

October 4th, 2018 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party chat that occurred on October 4th, 2018, from 5PM - 7PM PDT. The chat focused on Finding Home by Hari.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB START!

Good evening, everyone~! This week’s Thursday Book Club is officially beginning! Today we are discussing Finding Home by Hari~! (https://tapas.io/series/FindingHome)

Remember that Thursday discussions are completely freeform! However, every 30 minutes I will drop in OPTIONAL discussion questions in case you’d like a bit of a prompt. If you miss out on one of these prompts, you can find them pinned for the chat’s duration. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is fun and respectfully appreciating the comic. All that said, let’s begin!

QUESTION 1. What is your favorite scene in the comic so far and why?

keii4ii

I don't know if this counts as a "scene," but I really liked seeing the flowers bloom on Chepi from his emotions.

Superjustinbros

Aww~

Also hello there!

RebelVampire

yeah i thought that was a really interesting and unique detail. but also felt kind of sorry for chepi cause i mean, thats a dead give away youre feeling an emotion. cannot hide anything. cannot be a tsundere that says its not like i like you or anything

hi SJ~!

Superjustinbros

Thanks for the welcome, Rebel~

keii4ii

I wonder if it's possible to lie with the flowers, like how some people are able to fake tears/ blushing/ etc when they're an exceptionally good actor/liar? Probably not the case with Chepi, though

Superjustinbros

Maybe, or each mood gets represented by different kinds of flowers

RebelVampire

yeah i dont forsee chepi being the best liar persay. but maybe. and tbf have we seen any other dryad do it? this may be a unique feature of chepi because chepi has a unique situation

Superjustinbros

Maybe

RebelVampire

my favorite scene is the one where chepi speads to a bug and janek is like what. but chepi doesnt register that its not the language thing but the fact hes talking to a bug.

i also like in that scene how real the convo was. where janek sounds unintentionally ignorant and kind of racist, but not out of malicious intent. just out of the fact janek never really thought about it before.

keii4ii

Yeah, there's been quite a few examples of non-malicious ignorance

as well as other kinds of misunderstandings

I'm really curious about how they met. This seems to be a relatively new relationship, as in they weren't like... longtime friends or anything, so the beginning of it may still have a lot of relevance

mathtans

Made it. That was a real interesting way to get across some of the language stuff for the universe too, I thought.

RebelVampire

yeah ive been wondering that myself. how the two even met up in the first place. although it seems like they had some form of acquaintanceship

mathtans

A lot of their conversations are pretty realistic.

Seems like they just met because the chef was trying to get home?

RebelVampire

yeah it could be as simple as they were in the same town. chepi was like "i like helping ppl i will help this person"

cause chepi is a good dude

who does good dude things

except for the part where he jeapordizes his own health

thats a bad dude thing

mathtans

Yeah, he's had a rough go of it.

keii4ii

There's probably a little more to that, or at least that's the impression I get

I mean, it seemed like he wanted Janek's company for personal reasons too, even if they weren't Compelling Super Important Goals

Superjustinbros

Christ, definitely not a good thing

The jeopardizing your health part

mathtans

One of the scenes I particularly liked was early on. Where the one guy was "filling the silence" by talking a lot. It was an interesting visual in how it was laid out, and I've been on both sides of that... wanting to fill what I feel is an awkward silence as well as just wanting to enjoy stillness.

There might be a little more to it, but I'm not certain either of them are keen to acknowledge it.

keii4ii

Weird. I started reading this comic when it was still pretty new, and this scene I remember reading isn't there anymore. O_o

I wonder if it was deleted because of not fitting with the creator's vision anymore, because the impression I got from that scene was rather different

RebelVampire

that could be. i think a print volume was kickstartered and that is generally the time when heavy editing occurs

mathtans

Oh? You mean the flower blooming one? Because I remember seeing that...

I also looked at the holiday bonus that was linked away, incidentally. The mistletoe one. That was amusing and touching.

RebelVampire

i also liked that scene too, math. the one with the silence filling. but more than that i really appreciate the understanding that happened between the two. in that chepi didnt mind janek was busy rambling on and on and on. cause i understood how janek felt in feeling awkward about filling the silence too

keii4ii

No, I remember this scene where one of them is talking to some soldiers?

mathtans

Rebel: Right, that aspect of it helped it to stand out for me, I think. One of those times they had an understanding, almost unspoken.

keii4ii

(I could be remembering it wrong )

mathtans

In a flashback, I guess...?

RebelVampire

yeah i dont remember any scene with soldiers. it couldve been an extra of some sort? cause i generally dont look at extras

keii4ii

Yeah, it's not there. I might be mixing things up, unless the comic was rebooted at some point

RebelVampire

thats okay. i like to think its opportunity to speculate

cause there probably is something more

cause despite saying it, even i find it more believable there was something else going on besides chepi is a good dude

QUESTION 2. Throughout the comic, Chepi is shown to be a somewhat anxious person due to past experiences. How do you think Chepi came to be born in the first place? Do you think it has anything to do with why Chepi was encouraged to not like humans? What do you think happened exactly between Chepi and Ishaan that made the relationship have such a traumatic impact on Chepi? Do you think it was a bad relationship from the start, or do you think there were genuine, mutual feelings at the beginning? Do you think the person helping Chepi to publish his works is really altruistic, or is said person just out for their own gain? Lastly, do you think Chepi will be able to overcome all his trauma (and will Janek help or hurt these personal issues)?

keii4ii

TBH I've seen zero reasons to trust that dude

mathtans

Which one?

Superjustinbros

The publisher?

RebelVampire

idk how i feel about ishaan. i wanna give ishaan the benefit of the doubt at least for the beginning of the relationship. but even when ishaan was being all impressed by chepi i got sleezy impressions.

mathtans

As far as Chepi being born... fun fact, in the prologue, at first I thought maybe we were seeing Chepi's father. And, like, he was born of two guys or something, like that's the only way to get a mixed race type.

RebelVampire

LOL. well i mean, not impossible. we are dealing with fae and such.

mathtans

Ishaan's that smoking guy in the flashbacks...? (I'm so bad with names.) I figure there had to be something initially other than "here's an easy mark". But it morphed into something else. Also, profound effect due to his first romantic rejection, that's gotta hurt more than being rejected from the university (and even being shunned in the library).

RebelVampire

yes smoking guy who chepi dated is ishaan

i wanna say that maybe ishaan didnt start with bad intentions. but i also think he might have been attracted to chepi for the novelty of it. cause then he could brag to all his friends about his cool significant other

granted not sure if that logic matches up with the fact ishaan wanted chepi to look more human

so it could be the exact opposite in that ishaan genuinely liked chepi but did not like chepi was half dryad. and ishaan dealt with that in the most toxic way possible

mathtans

Except I don't think he could brag either, as his friends would say he was hanging around with a weirdo freak.

That last theory possibly works.

keii4ii

I get the impression that even if he was genuinely attracted to Chepi, he was always the type of a guy who manipulates and gaslights people whenever given the opportunity

mathtans

keii: There is that. Guy should just get his own oranges.

RebelVampire

i get the impression that ishaan is used to just getting what he wants and is some spoiled rich guy or something. so yeah, manipulation and gaslighting very probable

although i also dont trust the person chepi is using as a cover to publish his papers

that person rubs be the wrong way

cause the convo just seemed really manipulative

mathtans

That's kind of funny though, because Chepi is also a rich guy who prefers to do his own thing. Maybe that's partly why they ended up together.

I'm okay with her (I think it was a her). True that they might be getting more out of the arrangement, but I think it comes from a good place. Also, Chepi has access to the basement books, which seems like a decent thing to do.

Also, I want a backpack like that. O.o

RebelVampire

yeah at the end they havent done anything evil yet. so i could be be overly suspicious. but chepi sure is getting the short end of the stick and it makes me sad and hurts my poor heart

mathtans

He does, yeah. I think he's kind of closed himself off in order to deal with it.

Superjustinbros

That seems reasonable

RebelVampire

i do think chepi is gonna learn to deal with his trauma better. cause i mean hes already taking those critical first steps of talking about the problem a bit. not all the way, but hes said more than he probably would have previously

keii4ii

Yes

mathtans

I wonder if he'll manage to deal with his crowds situation too. (I know that feeling, though not to the extent of being triggered or anything.)

RebelVampire

the crowds one may take more time ironically imo. just because the issue behind that is harder to fix. since even if chepi was like "lets go cold turkey into a crowd," it is more likely his fears will get reaffirmed

Superjustinbros

Perhaps.

Seems like a fear that’s hard to remove anyways

mathtans

Yes, though he's got the travelling companion now, so small steps.

RebelVampire

yeah although that may forever be his comfort level. and i dont blame him for that cause he may just be an introvert who prefers setups like that. cause even with the dryads he seemed very much a soloist

mathtans

True.

Superjustinbros

Same.

mathtans

Also means less making demands on him.

RebelVampire

QUESTION 3. Janek and Chepi grow ever closer throughout their journey, though some issues seem to get between the two. Do you think the relationship between the two will ever become something more, or will trauma and other issues continue to get in the way? Even if they do become romantically involved, do you think it would work out? What about when the two reach Erkesh? Will their relationship last (whether romantically or as friends) even then? Or, will Chepi simply move on to his next destination? For that matter, do you think the two will even make it to Erkesh? Additionally, given the title of the comic is “Finding Home,” what do you think that means for each character and their personal journeys? In other words, what is “home?”

Superjustinbros

There's people that struggle lots with groups

mathtans

(Ones he'd be inclined to help with.)

I feel like they're building towards a relationship, a healing one, so I'd be a bit surprised if that doesn't happen. There'll still be bumps along the way though, for sure.

Like, they keep finding out things about each other that alter their perceptions.

Superjustinbros

Yea

mathtans

Also, home is where the heart is?

RebelVampire

part of me would be surprised if they dont cross that threshold from friends to something more. cause they keep bonding and the chemistry is super strong. but on the otherhand, this comic feels a lot like a journey wherein i feel the destination is gonna throw me a bit. so i could also see them not being able to. or ya know, there being a dramatic fakeout where chepi leaves janek in erkesh but then comes back being like "what was i thinking"

keii4ii

I feel that it's not about forming a relationship (though that's a strong possibility). It's about finding "home" and if both of them grow and reach a point where they simply become more comfortable with the self, separately, I can see them going separate ways too...

mathtans

I suppose that could happen (the fakeout), but really rooting for Chepi to have a happy ending. Versus, saying, dying in Janek's arms while saying "I'm finally happy".

keii4ii

omg

mathtans

I can see them going separate ways, but somehow not before being intimate. Could be the shipper in me.

RebelVampire

well tbf the comic is genred romance so...

mathtans

Chepi might totally sacrifice himself to deal Janek though.

RebelVampire

theres kind of high expectations here for some romance

mathtans

(Speaking of, I like his dry sense of humour... "come down from there, it would be a pain to heal every bone in your body" or words to that effect.)

RebelVampire

im gonna hope this comic doesnt go chepi death route. mostly cause despite its serious issues, its a pretty light-hearted comic.

keii4ii

It's got very gentle, soft vibes

Superjustinbros

Not every comic needs death

mathtans

I don't know if I'd say light-hearted? It has chuckle moments to be sure.

My opinion, anyway. Yes, vibes.

RebelVampire

imo the sense of home in this comic's case is a place where you feel comfortable and can be yourself. and if that place happens to be wherever another person is, well then...

yeah light-hearted might not be the right word but on 3 hours of sleep its the word i got O_O

mathtans

Home is where the wisps aren't.

I feel you, I only got about 4 hours sleep.

RebelVampire

i will also accept that answer. home is where the wisps arent

cause those wisps are creepy

now if there is tragedy in this comic, the thing i could see happening is they get to erkesh....but erkesh isnt there anymore

and janek has nowhere to go

home is gone

very sad

ah i forgot to say i do like chepi's dry sense of humor. partly cause i like that he has a sense of humor despite seeming so serious all the time

Superjustinbros

r.i.p. home

mathtans

Ooooh. I could see that too, that the wisps have destroyed the old home. That might be bittersweet.

His sense of humour sometimes flies a bit under the radar for me. Like, when he talked about studying since he was a baby I was like, 'dryads do that?' then I realized I was a species-ist.

RebelVampire

yeah i have to agree that sometimes it takes a moment for chepi's jokes to register as jokes. but then i have a good laugh.

mathtans

Because there's times when he's not, like when he's just going for a swim and all.

The hair discussion was pretty interesting though. It's funny, in a way growing the hair out long seemed like an emotional, human thing to do, and the guy had been trying to get Chepi to be more human.

RebelVampire

yeah i liked this little act of rebellion for chepi. cause i mean it feels really realistic too. because lots of ppl getting out of bad relationships do trivial things like this, even though for them the emotional impact is significant

i really liked the swimming scene in general though

cause i think something about it really illustrated the individual diffs between janek and chepi

and how both their selves and upbringings brought about different attitudes

QUESTION 4. Though not the focus, the comic’s world has a lot of interesting aspects that affect the characters. Do you think things will improve for Fae within the world, or will Chepi always suffer from negative policies and views from both sides? Do you think spending time with Janek will give Chepi new insight into how he can better help people? Alternatively, will spending time with Janek show Chepi a way to convince more Fae to help mortals? Speaking of the supernatural, do you think the Wisps will continue to be a danger to Janek and Chepi? Do you think the amount of Wisps about is normal, or do you feel it’s foreshadowing something sinister is about? Finally, Chepi at one point mentions a magical surge that has been growing. How might this affect the world in general, and do you think Chepi will be the one to figure out what’s going on?

mathtans

Yeah, definitely from two different worlds.

Oh yeah, the magical surge... maybe that does explain the wisps too? And if that map he found is really old, maybe it's all happened before, like decades ago, and it stopped surging after the Imperials lost or something.

Superjustinbros

I'd say maybe a mixture of both? Things will improve, but our protagonists will slowly encounter new problems.(edited)

RebelVampire

true, the world is rarely ever perma fixed.

the magical surge really has me interested because something about it was so ominous

mostly the abandoned house

and cause it made me suspicious that besides the destroyed village they really havent come across any form of civilization

or other ppl

what if theyre in some time paradox in the future and the world is destroyed

mathtans

So it becomes about fleeing to another realm, which was foreshadowed in that talk about whether Chepi even could.(edited)

RebelVampire

i dont remember this convo but im gonna gasp anyway

Superjustinbros

Paradoxes why must you exist

RebelVampire

idk. it just felt like something suspicious was going on. and i do feel the wisp situation has an abnormal quality to it. at the very least i dont think they go around village destroying on the regular

mathtans

He said they were old too, right? Could be relevant... Chopi's mom was over 200 or something...

It's interesting how we're gradually learning more about the world, including the urban centres, while we're pretty far removed from them. Incidentally, I think Janek would be dead a few times over if not for his friend, what with wisps and poison mushrooms and no map.

RebelVampire

yeah. like i wonder what janek intended to do if chepi hadnt offered to guide the way. would janek just be stuck at wherever theyre traveling from?

but yeah i really like how the world is being told in the story

because its never in a way thats separate from teh characters

if its being told, its somehow relavent to how the world has effected them

mathtans

Maybe he'd have to have taken public transit.

Yeah, it's all connected. But the characters have their own families and backstories thought out, like Janek's sister.

RebelVampire

LOL chepi and janek take forest route, but then the whole time theres like an express train system that couldve had janek to erkesh in an hour

that would be hilarious

very unfitting

but hilarious

Superjustinbros

lol

mathtans

"We built it a couple days after you left."

RebelVampire

back to the question, i dont think anything chepi or janek will do will actually improve relationships between humans and fae. because theyre just kind of two people...wandering a forest. so for the moment they cant make that big a world impact.

unless theyre the last two ppl in the world

mathtans

There were imperial forces and everything though, I wonder what sort of technology level their warfare was.

RebelVampire

then relations improved

mathtans

Yeah, prejudice like that is pretty deep seated. Can only change individuals on the travels, I think.

Unless the magic surge helps others to feel the emotions Chepi has.

Like, "oh crud, that's what we've driven you to?"

RebelVampire

yeah. cause at the end magical surge is pretty vague. although imo a magical surge could be detrimental to humans and actually shrink their territory. because the magical surge could be why the wisps be destroying villages

mathtans

Shrink their "territory".

Magical surge is like cold water.

RebelVampire

oh dear

since there are only some moments, i want to take this chance to talk about the illustrations. because its a sad thing they havent been mentioned because the illustrations are really gorgeous. like nature is a hard thing to draw, but here this comic just puts it everywhere O_O

Superjustinbros

Can I have some of that surge? It's super warm here lol(edited)

RebelVampire

everywhere

mathtans

Yes, that's a great point. One of those things that would stand out if it was done wrong, the comic gets it very right.

Also, that whole thing with the flowers connecting to moods, that's kind of amazing. I didn't know that was a thing.

Superjustinbros

I'd love to see more of that

RebelVampire

yeah. like the flora in general is used in a very interesting way in the comic. because usually whats shown helps emphasis the tone and atmosphere of the scenes.

and honestly i give points to any comic that doesnt shy from the backgrounds

mathtans

That's a good point. I'm not great at noticing those sorts of details.

Superjustinbros

mathtans

The output's been pretty consistent for that too... like, 100 pages in less than two years?

I couldn't manage that.

Superjustinbros

Anyways, good luck with the comic, Hari, you're putting together something really magical here.(edited)

RebelVampireToday at 6:59 PM

yeah. although even if the pages took longer i wouldnt mind it. the backgrounds are honestly worth it because i feel theyre integral to showcasing the world at this point

mathtans

Yup, best with it!

Also the romance.

RebelVampire

COMIC TEA PARTY- THURSDAY BOOK CLUB END!

Sadly, this wraps up this week’s Thursday Book Club chat for now. Thank you so much to everyone for reading and joining us! We want to give a special thank you to Hari, as well, for making Finding Home. If you liked the comic, make sure to support Hari’s efforts however you’re able to~!

Read and Comment: https://tapas.io/series/FindingHome

Hari’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/haridraws

Hari’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/haridraws

Comic Tea Party- Thursday Book Club

Next week’s Thursday Book Club will be about Four Corners by Boniae. For participants, you have the next week to read as much of the comic as you would like~! We hope to see you on Thursday, October 11th, from 5PM to 7PM PDT for the chat in #thursday_bookclub!

Comic’s Main Site: http://fourcorners.smackjeeves.com/

Comic’s Tapas Mirror: https://tapas.io/series/four-corners

Comic’s LINE Webtoon Mirror: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/four-corners/list?title_no=28768

#ctparchive #comics #webcomics #indiecomics #comic tea party #ctp #comic chat #comic discussion #book club #bookclub #webcomic bookclub #webcomic book club #finding home #hari

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putris-et-mulier · 7 years

Note

I had a hard time growing up with my father cause he does what we'd call tough love I guess, but I'm pretty sure a lot of it was abuse. But I always wanted to have kids and I am really good with em, people always point it out cause theres this idea guys arent supposed to be good with kids, that is ridiculous. But I think I just wanna prove I'd be a better father than him... All the discussion here about abortion and reasons to be a parent and wanting to be kinda savior to your kids it really 1/2

it really made me reconsider why I want to have kids. I don’t think proving I’d be a good dad is enough reason and also seems like a burden to put on the kid… idk if this makes sense. I wouldn’t ask a girl to abort cause thats her decision and I’m bi so I also think a lot about adoption. If I happen to have kids I will try my best to be a good dad but now I think I will wait and try to work out my issues first… that I don’t anything to my father and I dont have to live to prove him wrong.

Firstly, you definitely need to work on those issues before you have children in any fashion, especially adoption, because not wanting disability doesn’t protect your children from becoming disabled

Secondly, you might want to consider adopting older NTAB children because so many don’t get adopted and if they do become disabled they will still have NTAB conditioning so it won’t be like raising a child from a foreign culture but even then you have to make sure it’s the right choice for you

Thirdly, you don’t have to prove anything.

As someone who has always been in and out of hospitals and doctors offices for 30 years I can tell you that male nurses are by far the best and most any female nurse that has worked with one will tell you the same.

There is this misconception that men can’t be carrying or compassion or safe but men who go into that line of work or just sincerely want to be fathers like mine are the absolute best. I know it takes a unique person to be like this, male or female, but in this case I think masculine conditioning is actually beneficial.

Cis women are expected to bear pain better than cis men despite what the social rhetoric says and because they are conditioned to hide pain so often they have less empathy for other people in pain. They are also expected to be in those positions so they tend to be there because it’s expected, not because they actually care.

For anyone out there male or non-binary who is interested in becoming a nurse or caretaker or aides in classrooms and at disabled camps or special ed teacher, or anything involving disabled kids, please pursue this interest!

I have MD and it’s very rare in females so when I went to MDA camp there were just a few of us girls in a cabin but many other ones for the male children. Before McDonald’s bought it and used it as a way to make money off of experimenting on disabled children (I haven’t mentioned that in a while so a lot of you may not know the story) anyway, before that the counselors were all teenagers. There was an adult staff but they were there to supervise all of us, having teenage NTAB counselors be the only ones that took care of us or live with us was absolutely amazing.

We didn’t feel like we were being monitored constantly because everyone was a teenager which meant they were young and cool, everybody wants to be a teenager when you’re a kid. They also treated us like we were just kids, not disabled kids. We were cute and we were just there to have fun around our own people so they were there primarily as counselors, no one had formal training or anything so they hadn’t been taught not to listen to us yet. They all knew first-aid and were told about the conditions but they didn’t know what to do to take care of us so they asked and they listened. It was like this magical place until McDonald’s House™ bought us but things weren’t quite as good for my male peers. But let me put my epiphany in context.

Every single night the teenagers had a huge party. They took shifts on who would stay with us at night so everyone spent at least half their nights getting absolutely wasted and having casual sex in the woods.

There was always one night when the campers all had a “dance” and the counselors were always excited to give us a good time because we were so adorably excited to have our own party with them. And the counselors off nighttime shift those nights partied heavier than ever and those who didn’t want to were more than happy to just sleep with us. They weren’t buzz skills, they were helping people party.

It was the closest thing to a utopia I’ve ever experienced.

None of this would be allowed to go on anymore and it wouldn’t have been at that time either if the adults knew what was going on but we were all in it together, we were all technically kids. Even though our counselors were also kids we were always the safest when they were running things. The type of person who is going to even be interested in doing something like this let alone doing it to that extent is still that type of person even if they are away from home. They partied hard, really hard, and since they had the freedom to do so they took responsibility. Everyone had equal time at the parties and none of them resented us because we weren’t a responsibility, we were just too young to party so everyone who actually wanted some sleep was happy to be there in the cabins with us at night, it was especially fun for us in the girls cabin because each night we had different counselors telling us all the gossip so we ended up knowing everyone’s dirty laundry.

There were a very few teenage campers but they were “allowed” to go to the parties because they weren’t crippled kids, they were other teenagers. This also encouraged the older kids with MD to feel like capable human beings and so they would help look after all of us kids which is an experience every disabled child should have. They were cool because they were teenagers but they were also one of us, they weren’t one of them.

None of them did this because anyone was trying to socialize them or “make them feel important” by giving them “responsibilities” they did it because they wanted to. Everyone was in on it together and everyone wanted to have the best time possible so they chipped in during so they could party harder at night. It probably goes without saying that it was an amazing example for those of us who were younger.

We were observant so we always knew when someone was being forced or “assigned” to look after us but these guys weren’t, they treated us like little brothers and sisters because our bond came organically. We actually had role models that were one of us, going to the camp was one of the first times that a lot of kids realized that they could have the chance to be actual teenagers.

It’s kind of funny, they were young enough that they didn’t have a hard time bouncing back from a night of drinking or going without sleep but it made mornings easier for us children because a lot of them were waking up with something that felt like a bit of chronic illness themselves so they couldn’t have forced us to use all of our spoons first thing in the morning even if they wanted to.

But one night a party had gotten too hardy and so there was a shortage of capable counselors the next morning and the shortage was in the male cabins, the girls could always hang. Our counselors split up to go help get all the kids up which took a lot of time. The counselors that were best taking care of us physically split up amongst all of the cabins and that morning we had some of the female counselors from the male cabins come to help us instead of all of our usual ones.

I got a girl I eventually got an innocent childhood crush on, she was always “one of the boys” but she was so confident that no one would have described her like that, she was just herself and that made her a badass. She was also beautiful but I did have legitimate non-shallow reasons!

I was a lot stronger then so I was taking off all of my pajamas as quickly as I could because we all knew about the situation so I was trying to get undressed as quickly as possible so she could help one of the younger kids but she stopped me from taking my shirt off.

She said that I could keep it on while she was helping me into my pants so I wouldn’t be completely naked. I laughed to let her know it was no big deal and told her that I didn’t mind. That’s what I learned to say to the nurses throughout my life to make them a little less resentful about me but it didn’t work on her.

She looked extremely frustrated and I realized years later she wasn’t frustrated with me, per se, she was frustrated with what I had said. She said, “there’s no reason you have to be completely naked in front of everyone, most people don’t do that.” I didn’t know what to do because I only learned to make “normal” people feel as comfortable as possible so I tried to tell her it was fine but she cut me off and said, “You know that I work in one of the boys cabins even though I’m a girl? It’s because there aren’t a lot of guy counselors so none of the boys get any modesty. I only help change one thing at a time so the boys don’t feel completely embarrassed and they still get to feel like boys.”

That was language I understood even if the concept blew me away and it’s something that comes to mind quite often.

I suddenly noticed that there were usually only people around us that had vaginas. That had to be weird for the guys. I then noticed that that they were treated like girls, not like NTAB boys. I’ve always wondered if it was any different for the boys who like other boys, because I figured that must make them more uncomfortable.

Disabled people are conditioned to be asexual but a heteronormative asexual. We are expected to get “crushes” and it’s completely safe because we can’t have sex. Why medical professionals think you can’t have sex because you sit down a lot I have no idea.

Imagine how little representation or participation socially that gender and sexual minority children get, it’s a million times worse when they are disabled. There has been and always will be a huge need for people to work in caretaking positions that aren’t cis women.

#Anonymous #Signal Boost™ disability #abelism #actually disabled #civil rights #Dear Christy

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nickcutler · 7 years

Text

this is a post about autistic traits, autistic coding, and L from death note.

when i say autistic coding or autistic coded, i’m referring to a character having autistic traits such that it is reasonable to interpret them as autistic. this can mean a lot of things, and the coding doesn’t have to be intentional to be present. so when i say that L is an autistic coded character, i’m not saying he’s autistic in canon or he was written to be autistic, but that he comes across that way regardless of intention.

also i have only finished the anime, not the manga, so i’m talking primarily about the anime here bc that’s what i have experience with.

SO. firstable L is an autistic coded character. there’s a lot about him that supports this interpretation; he often responds in atypical ways to social cues, he focuses deeply and intently on what he does, he thinks in unique ways that allow him to solve cases when other people can’t, and i would argue that a lot of his physical mannerisms (biting his thumb, not wearing shoes, the way he sits) could be read as autistic coding as well.

the super smart detective being autistic isn’t really a new phenomenon, so i’m sure this probably isn’t hard for a lot of people to accept as a reasonable interpretation. the stereotypical autistic detective is a character who is 1) very smart 2) "quirky” in some way and 3) often very robotic. what is interesting to me about these characters is how fandom tends to interact with them and which autistic traits fandom is okay with and which ones they aren’t (obviously no fandom is a monolith but i’m saying fandom for ease in discussing this). near is also very autistic coded, and in the like. what few weeks? that i have been engaging with death note i have seen some very. imo questionable interpretations of L’s character that i think are particularly interesting when you consider autistic coding and when you contrast him with near.

i tend to really love autistic characters bc i relate to them, so a lot of my faves are autistic coded. bc of this i have seen the same things repeated over and over again in different fandoms, and most recently when i got into death note. death note, however, is one of the places where i have seen it the worst. basically, fandom is comfortable with/likes L’s quirky autistic traits. his mannerisms, his fixations, his tendency to say maybe inappropriate or blunt things. people like those aspects of him. he’s amusing.

but when it comes to dealing with emotions i find people don’t like L or say things about him that seem untrue to me based on my understanding of him as autistic.

an example: i saw a thread about how L didn’t really mean it when he said that light was his first friend (in general i see a lot of posts saying L never means anything or L lies all the time). i was kind of shocked when i saw it because to me, it seemed obvious that he meant it. L has never had peers that he could relate to; light was the first. even though he suspected he was kira, he still liked having that relationship where he could engage with someone on his level. and it would never have occurred to me to consider him insincere when he said it, because the way he expresses himself is very akin to the way i express myself. it’s difficult and i often don’t have the words for it and when i do talk about my emotions it usually comes in a burst when i can get something out that’s not just “hm i don’t know it’s like i don’t know you know?”

and that’s how i read L in that scene. he’s not just saying that to throw light off or to cause a stir, he means it, and he’s conflicted about what it might mean because he thinks light is kira. he’s struggling with that, just like he says he is.

i saw another post that said the reason L was shaking when aizawa yelled at him after ukita died wasn’t because he was upset about it but because he was scared of himself dying, but again, i didn’t interpret it that way at all. obviously in watching the anime with english subtitles and reading the manga in english i’m getting translations so i can’t say for sure that the true intent of the original dialogue is always captured, but in both L specifically says “if YOU go over there too”. he isn’t worried about himself, he’s worried about the rest of the task force and he is upset that ukita is dead. his seemingly calm level-headed approach isn’t him being callous, it’s how he deals with his emotions; for the sake of the case, yes, but also because he doesn’t know how to confront them and certainly not how to express them outwardly.

and this sort of gets at the heart of what i see happening with him. he has emotions and he expresses them in a way that is consistent with his autistic coding. he’s not just a quirky weird guy who can solve crimes, he’s a human whose feelings get involved. and from what i’ve seen fandom doesn’t like that? i’ve seen so many more harsh posts about L than i have about any other character. L is a liar, L is manipulative, L never means anything he says, L is a bad person. and while he has done bad things, a Lot of the criticism i see falls into the category of being unnecessarily harsh, particularly when you consider i’ve almost never seen posts like that about other characters, and i’ve seen a lot of posts on a lot of blogs since i got into death note.

for contrast, look at how fandom interprets near. near is also heavily autistic coded, with the key difference from L being that he doesn’t really have much of an emotional arc. he’s smart, he’s funny, he twirls his hair and plays with his toys. even when the SPK is killed, he doesn’t react emotionally at all in the anime, and there isn’t much more to his reaction in the manga. he says it hurts, but that’s the extent of it. his emotions aren’t dealt with concretely, just represented by his dice tower falling apart. for the most part near is pretty much the autistic robotic genius detective in canon. and fandom does not have the same issues with him as they do with L. he fits the mold.

so i guess the long and short of it, to be blunt about it, is fandom doesn’t like autistic characters to be autistic when it comes to their emotions. the funny geniuses with their weird mannerisms are okay, but as soon as messy emotions get involved fandom turns on autistic characters. i’ve seen all kinds of posts about things L did that emotionally impacted other people, but very few about how anything emotionally impacted him. and that’s. a problem. it’s all well and good to like those other things about L, because i like them too, but when there’s so much negativity towards him when he deviates from the stereotype, that’s alarming to me.

and ofc i don’t think anyone is sitting there going “oh i hate this character because he’s autistic and has emotions”, because i know thats not the case. but i think it’s important to maybe realize the implications of some of these claims. L isn’t wrong for dealing with his emotions in his own way, and he deserves as much leeway as any of the other characters get because, as people often say, there are a lot of gray areas in this show. and like i said, i don’t just see this in death note. every autistic coded character i’ve ever loved gets similar reactions, just not necessarily to such extremes. but it’s worth considering if you value autistic characters as people with feelings rather than amusing robotic figures who do funny things because real autistic people are out here and we can get the message.

#also this is long as hell sorry i tried to be as concise as i could thanks if u read it #this isnt as like. clearly expressed as i wanted it to be but i stand by it.#dn #death note

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dear-chris-its-zach-blog · 6 years

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chris, i ripped this page to be on top. seeing as this paper journl is all mashed and unorgainizd it fine for wherever it is placed. i keep ripping my pages and placing it else where. i asked for this to be mailed but (marie) has said i shouldn't mail it directly since you live at home. good man, save money for a decent first home. now. the reason. you left (marie) or have moved on. for that, it was something i would never wanted her to go through. i put faith into you. more than anyone else. youre my friend to where i can safely say you are my brother.you know more so than my "close friends". reason? they say it easier to talk to a person you hardly know. i may be told about you and spoken a few times through texts, but i see you a little brother to look out for. i gave you my most prized possesion and im hurt you broke it. shit happens. maybe i am wrong for having (marie) believe you would both marry. thats my mistake. i shouldn't pruned her into growing in that thought.i'll be honest. i even sent dresses i thought she would look beautiful in. i'll have to include the dresses i thought would be amazing on her. i even asked her what rings and they are simple. too simple for her. id hope you would surprise her. i only hoped you both stay together. thats the end of that. shes emotional, shes been through tough stuff that i thought with your emotional state, you could in some way help. both, so weird to think, so similar yet opposite. i didnt see it as a wrong match. its crazy. how do both people that i love always end back in each others arm? its too perfect, with all the fights i started..., to end. (marie) was suppose to have stopped the drugs and cutting. shes good. she'll do as shes told because it was out of love. im to blame for the jealousy and having no trust. there was a time before you came to be my brother i wanted you to leave her. this could be my fault ... i take it. i'll atone for the crime i committed. (marie) truly loves you and you will always be her first and last. i known her for many years. she doesnt move on unless the other party helps her. thats what the problem. i see it now. (tear drops covering page). there is no other guy. she will seriously wait until of end of time to meet you again.the thought of you will sicken her stomach. the smell of you on her beanies or hoodies will remain untouched to not wash away your smell. shell keep the photos. shell wish she did better. shell cry. and cry. and cry. same she does with her father, you will never escape her heart. you are either a strong man or a coward to walk away. you wont tell her you wont speak a word. you will up and leave like the dust in the wind. gone. i've known you to do this. its funny to me because i have 3 guesses. 1. you found someone else. crushes happens to guys (always a pig) to leave a good women for afling. hope shes a good person for you. not at all, lies 2. religion. no comment because i cant say anything bad. no reason 3. her family. this is only reason i can think Is her mother. which you know what i mean. to think i only see this reason. if anything else is a lie. i know you hold her close, it scares you. your vulenrable with her. she knows you best, but you try to be a man who has no heart to be tough. how?apathy. you care, you bring yourself to go back. im betting you go back to old messages. shes told me , a regret, that you left her notes how much you loved (marie). you probably look at pictures. if you tell me you dontlove (marie) then i ask you to kindly fuck off. give a week to come back to my journal of ripped up dreams and shit on writings. makes me pissed off now to think i left you with my stuff. it should just be burned. all of these scraps of paper are me writing what could happen or that day. Is she a girl from the 90's? i feel i am failure. the way i feel towards her, i never wish that on her. much as i thought i did, here we are now. im not saying this because of her health. its just i promised her to never give up on you and i did this. me. i failed (marie) im angry. so angry right now. i can picture this happening because i've been in those shoes. i am. to be left for someone else, no clue your case, but its the worst. i have a note, somewhere smashed in my journal, to what her dreams and goals were in middle school. "find love. get a home. married. kids." i remember laughing at this. she was so mad or upset because her dream is simple. "how can you want a life so easy for you? who wants to be a house wife?" "me.im going to find love. he'll be a hard worker, and i'll stay home to take care of the house and kids." (marie) seriously wanted a guy like her father.not only he worked but he helped with the house because stay at home wife is work. nope. guys work and that's it. wife works 24/7 even when sick. rambling like (marie). happens when you hangout with her. she so pretty...

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