#thats more of a basketball thing than volleyball isnt it

[mattibee]

ceo of bouncing ball...

#coatlythoughts #thats more of a basketball thing than volleyball isnt it

[heyitsyn]

White Carnation

Ex!Iwaizumi Hajime x Reader

a/n: iwa-chan being your ex is so painful and numbing

huhuhu angst isnt my forte but this is an exception bc chi is my sista

anon request: ex-boyfriend/childhood friend iwaizumi would be super angsty but i have no idea what they’d fight about ,, now imagine if after being kitaichi’s manager/medic, reader becomes karasuno’s medic/temporary manager (until kiyoko got recruited),, then she couldn’t come to the seijoh practice match so she has no idea her team fought her ex,,, only to find out during inter-high and everyone’s like wtf??? that spiky haired ace is your ex?? meanwhile kageyama’s like “yall didn’t know?” — chi

ong this finna be painful

so

its always been the three of you

with living across the oikawas came great perks

even way before you could remember, you were always with the 2 other boys: your neighbor across your house, tooru, and his best friend who practically lived there, hajime

hajime first saw you when you were covered in dirt after you were trying to catch a butterfly for tooru at the back and oikawa pushed you out of the way into a puddle of mud when he saw a bug

iwa stared at you then immediately said ‘my name is iwaijumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

yep thats really how it went

and poor babie didnt know how to pronounce his ‘z’s yet so it sounds like ‘j’s :(

while tooru liked you because you werent like other girls who stayed inside and played dolls instead playing outside

you played with him at his back yard with the volleyball he owned and always made him laugh and have fun

iwa liked you because you didnt shy away from bugs, instead you were braver than tooru and even helped iwa look for any beetles and caught them for him to keep as pets

they liked you because you were like them

you were like one of the bois

but that kinda hurt you in the future

as you all grew up, you started going through yanno teenager things

like you started to have crushes

specifically on your best friend, iwaizumi hajime

thankfully tooru didnt see you like that and still saw you as one of the bois and saw you as that annoying twin sister

but unfortunately, iwa did too

every time you made an effort to do something to emphasize that you were, hello, a girl, he would laugh and tease you

‘hehe i didnt think you even knew what a dress was!’

was his comment when you came over wearing a yellow sundress with flats

tooru, who you shared these secrets with, gave you a worried glance but you smiled, covering up the hurt

‘meh. my mom forgot to dry my clothes so i had to wear these old clothes’

no, they werent old

they were just bought yesterday with the intention of finally being recognized as girl and complimented

but the person it was for, couldnt even be bothered to remember that you werent just one of the boys and that you possibly wanted to be told that you were pretty or cute

your other best friend noticed your quietness and he stood up from his crouching position and placed a hand on your shoulder, making you look at him

your teary eyes made him sigh but he grinned at you

‘its really pretty, y/n-chan! you should wear it more often! pretty things deserve to be seen and complimented’

god why couldnt you have a crush on oikawa tooru instead

why did it have to be towards the boy who was too caught up with catching bugs and playing ball to ever see you differently and has never said a single praise towards you?

‘what do you think, iwa-chan? isnt she pretty?’

oikawa hinted but hajime remained his eyes on the tv as the players hit the ball, too distracted to even be bothered to look at you

‘she looks the same’

he mumbled and your nose stung and eyes watered, looking down to hide the wobbling of your lips

‘its okay, kawa-chan. can i wear your clothes for now? i dont like this dress thats why i never wore it’

oikawa tried to stop you but you were already straight up the stairs and towards his room

he angrily stomped over to iwa and slapped his arm, startling the other boy and him snarling in pain

‘what the-’

‘youre so dumb. youre so mean. i wonder where she went wrong and what she saw. seriously’

he ranted and moved to sit back on the floor but not before kicking iwaizumi, making him fall on his side

‘OI KUSOKA-’

‘so whos winning?’

your voice interrupted iwa’s mid-scream and he looked up from the floor to see you wearing an alien hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts that were a little too loose so they drooped by your knees

your originally curled and elegantly braided hair was now pulled up into a bun by a scrunchie that you left around the house from years ago

there was a bit of redness around your eyes and iwa scrambled up to check if you were okay since your face looked swollen

‘oi, did you eat something weird? your face is all red so youre probably having a reaction’

he fretted and you watched as his hands glided across your face and held you by the shoulders to take a closer look

‘yea, a reaction from a bad reaction’

thankfully iwa was too busy checking to hear oikawa snarkily whisper and you sent him a glare that made him quiet down

‘haji-kun, im fine’

you dismissed and side stepped to go sit next to oikawa, completely brushing him off

now iwa was confused

you would usually smile up at him, say ‘aw~ are you worried about me, haji-kun?’ then skip over 

not frown and act so coldly

‘oi, y/n, what-’

‘lets go to the bakery! theres a sale going on there!’

oikawa shouted which made you jolt in surprise

he knew of his best friend’s beginning interrogation but he knew you were too upset to be bothered by hajime’s questions

‘they have a buy one get one sale on milk bread! and those-those treats you like! theyre on sale too!’

omg oikawa is a real one 🥺

oikawa blinked harshly at you to go along with the act and you stuttered and nodded

‘uh-eung! yea!’

that was probably the moment that iwaizumi started noticing

except he thought it was a pining between his best friends rather than you towards him

ofc iwa was a loyal friend

he thought that you and oikawa were two people who were crushing on each other yet too afraid to say anything

tbh he shouldve seen this coming because duh you were an incredibly pretty girl and oikawa was the handsomest guy in the whole area!

it was almost,,, natural for you both to gravitate towards each other

maybe thats why,,,

he started to distance himself to give you both the space and want without him in between

maybe thats why,,,

he started to feel these feelings of,, jealousy?? like he started to feel a little scared and honestly he wasnt sure who to be jealous of bc he knew once you started dating, you’d both be too busy to hang out with him

maybe thats why,,,

he was no longer your friend 

iwaizumi hajime became a simple stranger you would just pass by in the hall

it happened around the 2nd year of middle school

you and oikawa were still close friends but you have drifted away into not being as close while you and iwaizumi became,,,, distant

basically strangers

the boy you used to dream about when you were 8 and dreamt of marrying once you were old enough

he was no longer him

before, you and iwa were actually really close without oikawa

like you would hang out when oikawa was too busy with takeru

you both would go to the arcade and play games with no fear of oikawa whining and complaining to take turns

you had a lot of fun together and yet, all of a sudden, everything stopped

because iwa knew how,,, possessive oikawa was

he thought that if he were to continue being friends with you, he would risk losing his best friend out of jealousy or misunderstandings and he didnt want that precious bond to be ruined by a girl

even if that girl,,,

was you

thats why it was so awkward when you came over to oikawa’s house after so long and seeing him there, eating breakfast in the kitchen

your best friend didnt want to tell you that iwa spent the night bc quite frankly, oikawa was already fed up with this

you think he didnt know?

you think he didnt know that iwa distanced himself due to an unknown misunderstanding?

you think he didnt know that you also distanced yourself due to being hurt as he casted you aside?

and oikawa was also worried

he didnt want to ever bring up your name with iwa bc to be honest, he didnt think iwa even liked you all that much

he thought that iwa only tolerated you for so long bc you were the only girl who wasnt in love with oikawa and knew you long enough to be comfortable w you

but babie oiks is misunderstood that :(

he didnt want to ever bring up his name with you bc he knew how sensitive it was for you and how sad and pained you were when he suddenly stopped even replying to your texts

one time when you cornered him, he looked angry and gently pushed you back and quickly walked away 

no he was scared that oikawa could see you both and misunderstand

‘just,,, stay away from me, okay? its better this way’

god you wanted to scream at him and shout at him and punch him but he kept silent and refused to answer your questions and refused to acknowledge your existence

you were so confused and you were just so hurt and eventually, you became indifferent to him and treated him the same way

anyways

you stepped into the house, not even bothering to shout your arrival and quickly wandered through the hallway before turning the corner to go to the kitchen 

but you stopped, seeing the familiar hair with olive eyes eating breakfast on the kitchen island, also stopping with his chopsticks halfway to his mouth at the sight of you

your gazes clashed and you blinked before your lips formed into a thin line, turning and going to the fridge and look for food

iwa wasnt surprised

he figured you were both getting closer to dating and you were already basically living in his house

it all makes sense

BRUH THEYVE BEEN FRIENDS SINCE THEY WERE LTR BORN LIKE BLS THEYRE JUST SIBLINGS

MAKE IT MAKE SENSE

‘h-how are you’

he mumbled, trying to fix the awkward silence while cursing inside of how long oikawa was taking to shit

you hummed, taking a water bottle and slamming the fridge door shut, harder than necessary

‘oh, now you see me?’

you really didnt mean for it to be a snarky comment but it came out before you even realized what you said

he winced

‘listen, im-’

‘oh? youre here, y/n-chan!’

oikawa’s voice cut him off and he returned back to his bowl of rice, leaving you standing there furrowing your brows

you shrugged, already knowing that hajime was like this, so you turned to look at oikawa with a wrinkled nose at the sound of the toilet flushing

‘tooru, did you drink straight milk again? you know how it makes your stomach upset’

you chided and tooru turned red at the implication of his dookie

‘o-oi! y/n-chan! of course id know if i was lactose intolerant!’

i just think how funny it would be like the irony of his love for milk bread yet being lactose intolerant at the same time 

he huffed and you nodded but not exactly believing him

‘kay kay’

you teased and walked to the living room but oikawa caught you in a headlock and he ruffled your hair while you complained and whined to let you go

you were giggling as tooru was giving you noogies, feeling the tension leave your body

all while iwa was watching

maybe it was because he stopped hanging out with you and havent seen you like this for almost  a year

so carefree and so happy as you scored higher than him at the hoop game and he would begrudgingly let you hug him when he managed to win you a doll from the claw machine

but yea he definitely forgot your smile

he forgot how it looked like bc the last time you met gazes, you sent him a hurt glance and looked away and he knew he deserved that

god he hated it

but no, he was doing this for tooru

he was doing this because his best friend liked someone who actually deserved him

but dear god why did it hurt

iwa was starting to wonder if he made the right choice

he could easily handle you two dating

right?

maybe that was when iwa started to realize,,, he was starting to feel different towards you

the time apart definitely made him remember why he was friends with you

you weren’t like those girls he saw in tv or outside with the frilly clothes and the makeup and the fancy hair

no that wasnt you

you were different

you were too lazy to even pick out a cute outfit, opting for comfort with one of their sweatshirts and sweatpants

you preferred to chase after butterflies rather than sitting inside bc hajime’s adventurous spirit latched itself on to you too

you would usually climb the tree to get the volleyball that got stuck up in the branches bc tooru was too scared of heights and you wanted to prove your strength and capability

god you were so different

what if you liked him instead?

iwa startled himself with that thought in the middle of eating and caused him to choke on his rice

tooru noticed him coughing violently so he grabbed the water bottle from your hand and threw it straight towards the boy

iwa snapped the cap open,not caring where that water came from, and chugged it down before sighing in relief after the quite scary situation

you then realized what happened and you turned red, speedwalking into the living room

oiks totally didnt do that on purpose and he was doing the lenny face at you before switching masks and wearing a worried one for iwa

‘iwa-chan! you need to slow down!’

he chided and iwaizumi yelled at him to be quiet, completely clueless to the fact that he just shared an indirect kiss with you

but you did and lordie did you hate it

from then on,,,

iwa was just seeing you everywhere

iwa saw you from his classroom when you would go hang out with your new friends outside 

he noticed you not even being too loud, only speaking up when asked while the others opted to continue talking about nonsense you probably gave no care about with how you secretly rolled your eyes

those moments made him laugh

the next time you both ran into each other was during his morning practice

oikawa phoned you in the morning while you were getting ready, saying he accidentally left his knee pads at home and he was already at school but you werent so he wanted you to bring them to him

you knew damn well that iwaizumi hajime would be there but you didnt care because youre not even friends anymore after he just dropped you like that

YES SISTER WE DESERVE BETTER

so thats why you found yourself pushing the metal gym door open at 6 in the morning and shouting oikawa’s name

his eyes brightened at your voice and he dropped the ball to run towards you by the door

‘oh my god thank you so much, y/n-chan!’

he shouted and hugged you out of excitement while you cringed and hit him to get off of you

‘ew dont touch me trashykawa’

you mumbled and he whined, finally stepping away with a pout

iwa was watching you both from the side and he blinked, wondering if you were trying a new hairstyle

if not, then you changed something bc currently, you practically glowing to him

he watched you scold oikawa for being forgetful and him begging for forgiveness but also thanking you before he was scoldede again by the coach

but the coach was relieved that he could finally play with the proper equipment and not risk anymore injuries

oikawa was already bidding you good bye and you were about to turn to leave when you finally met the many gazes of iwaizumi hajime

your eyebrows unconsciously furrowed together and your lips turned to a frown then you sharply turned and walked through the doors

unbeknownst to him, oikawa watched as his best friend’s face turned hurt at your expression and remained staring at the door you just went out of even when you were already gone

‘iwa-chan, lets get to practice’

after that 

iwa has concluded god has decided to be mean to him

bc who was giving him these weird heart attacks and tummy aches at the simple sight of you?

literally he ignored you for a good time yet now hes noticing you again?

what kinda unfairness-

but you proved to accept his previous behavior by not even giving him a single glance anymore

that made him sad so iwa would sometimes stop doing what hes doing so he could freely stare at you laugh at something a classmate said during class

thats totally not creepy iwa lol

he doesnt even know hes doing it sometimes bc hes so absorbed on trying to figure out the answers of his questions

but the worst was when he got caught

you sat at the very front and oikawa and iwa sat at the back 

it was lunchtime and you were eating with a few girls and a guy from another class and yall were laughing and talking together

iwa had oikawa and these other guys makki and matsukawa from the class next door to eat lunch with

can i please just dream that our third year seijoh boys were actually friends since the very beginning like pls and thanks

oikawa was rambling about how some girl giving him cookies the other day when he noticed iwa not listening but staring at you while moving his chopsticks around

poor iwa-chan was confused as to how even with messy hair, you still looked beautiful?

like no matter what angle or how you turned, the light always seemed to hit you perfectly to accent out your features

how was that possible?

‘-and she just-iwa-chan? iwaizumi?’

he called out and said boy jolted, eyes widening at the confused, bored, and knowing eyes

‘hm?’

‘oh? were you looking at y/n-chan?’

oikawa teased and the gojira fanboy waved his hands around to deny that statement

but makki chuckled and leaned in

‘hm, wouldnt blame ya. shes really pretty you know? some guy in our class saw the girls ranking and shes in the top 5′

okay iwa was angry

was it because everyone else noticed how pretty you are?

was it because you were part of this list?

was it because his own friend said you were pretty?

why did he even care anyways?!

oikawa smirked at the clenched fist under the table and decided to poke fun even more

‘oh really? well, it doesnt really matter because its always the girl’s decision right? but most of the time, their choice is utter trash’

the meme duo shared a confused look

‘hah? what are you going on about, oikawa’

oikawa internally apologized to you after what hes about to do because hes so tired and exhausted of having to be so careful and walking on eggshells between you two

so he did an oikawa move

‘yanno how y/n-chan and i have been friends since we were little ducklings right? so ages ago, like ages ago, little y/n-chan had a crush on this brute bc for some reason she thought he was brave or something and apparently thats appealing to girls rather than the nice and gentlemanly type. but of course, yanno how this goes, he pooped up and now hes stuck on doing this weird stalking staring thing. right, iwa-chan~?’

okay im sorry i take it back oikawa is a bitch

iwa shook

you,,, had a what on who?!

a crush on him?!

is he the brute?!

so it wasnt oikawa?

it was to him?

then why did you act like that?

why did you both act like that?

‘what’

iwaizumi mumbled and he met oikawa’s pointed gaze

‘hmm,,,, you dont have to worry about it anymore though since theyre not even friends anymore. but listen to me and listen well, makki, mattsun, if you hurt a girl even once, theyre never going to forget it. my sister said that apparently theres this little voice in their head that tells them that theyre going to get hurt again and thats where their trust issues begin to develop and--IWA-CHAN WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!’

iwa was already out of his seat and straight walking towards you and your group before stopping beside your chair

your friends quieted down at the sight of the known boy and you blinked then turned your head to see him, your eyes instantly turning dark and looking away immediately

‘what the hell do you want’

you hissed and natsu almost choked on his rice ball if it wasnt for another girl patting his back

‘it was me, right? all along, not oikawa, but me?’

his meek voice made you look up in confusion

‘what are you talking-’

‘you chose me instead him’

then it was like a click that you realized what he said

‘how did you know’

‘i-i’

he stuttered but was cut off when the teacher finally arrived to announce the end of lunch and iwa was forced to go back to his seat

the whole class time, you would sneak glances back and iwa would be staring at his paper while oikawa would wink at you and give you smirks

OH GOD HE TOLD HIM

after class you stomped up to the brunette haired boy 

‘how could you?! why did you tell-’

‘lets talk, y/n? please?’

iwa was holding your arm and you glared at him before turning away and walking away

oikawa patted him on the shoulder in good luck and whispered,

‘get your girl’

the rooftop ledge looked really delicious right now

no words were exchanged so you were both just silent with you staring at him while he was looking off to the side

‘so what? now you know and so what do you want?’

you spoke first and iwa guiltily met your eyes

‘everything was,,, a mess. i misunderstood and i didnt communicate and i,,, messed up’

he mumbled the last part but you caught it perfectly causing you to scoff

‘damn right you did. so now you know and then youre going to do the cliche thing they do in those dramas where you magically profess your love for me and-’

‘hey y/n lets date’

you froze and looked at him shocked with wide eyes and jaw dropped

‘excuse me? who are you to say that?!’

you shrieked

‘first you think i have some big crush on tooru and this caused you to basically drop me like a damn pencil and second youre asking me to date you? iwaizumi hajime i thought you were always the smarter one. what the hell are you spouting you damn imbecile-’

iwa did the only thing he thought of

he quickly leaned forward and pecked your lips

he saw some guy do it in a telenovela that his mom watched a week ago and that was how the girl got silent so iwa thought it would be smart to shut you up that way

and it worked

bc you were so conflicted: angry, confused, sad, happy

you was the whole range of emotions in one second

‘i was stupid. and i was dumb. i wanted to give you and shittykawa space because i thought he liked you and he would be mad and misunderstand if we continued hanging out without him. but you shouldve told me you liked me, baka. maybe i wouldve come to like you back’

iwa rambled but your eyes watered and you huffed, slapping him across the face but pulled his collar to kiss him again

tbh iwa was shook bc he got 2 kisses in a row today and hes never been kissed before and its from this really pretty girl

‘how dare you kiss me and still not like me’

you seethed when you pulled away

but iwa held your hands

‘im starting to come to. give me time and i’ll accept your confession’

and give him time you did bc you finally were able to try and mend that friendship again and soon, you were already starting to fall back in love with him 

but iwa also

during the end of your 2nd year, iwa nervously tugged you to the rooftop and you smirked

‘what? you gonna profess your love for me haji-kun?’

you teased and expected him to laugh and smack you gently but he didnt

he turned red and he looked down at his shoes as he magically produced a flower out of nowhere

‘please accept me, y/n!’

he shouted while holding out the single white carnation

your eyebrows scrunched and you grabbed the flower from his hands before punching him weakly

‘stupid! stupid haji-kun! i already accepted you! since we were five! how could you not see my feelings’

you whimpered, trying to hide the blush on your face but he smothered you to a hug, making you both topple over in the process

you had the cliched term of ‘summer love’

of course you still hung out with tooru but you both would hang out other days just you both

like you and iwa liked going over to some old playground by your house and you both would watch the sky on top of the slide assembly while talking about stupid stuff and the future

‘haji-kun, do you know what you want to be when youre old?’

you asked and he turned his head to look at you but you were focused on the stars

‘gojira’

he simply replied and you giggled, reaching over to hit his chest

‘baka. you cant be gojira-san’

iwa found himself giggling with you before he reached down to softly interwine your fingers and hold them up to look at them

‘hm, i dont really know. maybe a volleyball player. or someone in the volleyball team, i dont know’

you hummed, knowing him and tooru’s shared love for the sport

‘i wanna be a doctor. i want to save lives and help people and make money too! my mothers friend offered to intern me but apparently im still too young’

you pouted

iwa listened to you but then a lightbulb rang in his head

‘oi, y/n’

he started and you looked at him

‘you can be our manager. or medic. or doctor person. that bastard is going to push himself even harder because naoki-senpai gave him that damn position and he might kill himself trying to beat that farmer dude. besides, shittykawa is going to be the captain next year and i’ll be vice so youd easily get it anyways. so you in?’

you blinked at him before breaking out to a smile

‘eung! i wanna see my baby play what he loves!’

iwa’s face contorted to disgust

‘bABy?! iM nOt a BABY! im A mAn!! mAN!!’

‘mhm, okay. my mans, haji bara arms is my mans’

your relationship is very balanced with the perfect ratio of crackhead and seriousness and understanding bc as we ALL KNOW EVERYTHING STARTED W A MISUNDERSTANDING

like if he accidentally said something that hurt your feelings like that dress incident from years ago btw you brought it up to him and told him you were practically traumatized by that and he kept on apologizing and appearing at your doorstep with a white carnation in apology you would gently tell him bc communication is K E Y and he would tell you sorry and you guys would understand and make up

you guys were so lovey dovey that ltr oikawa would fake gag and throw up to the side when he catches you guys even doing things like holding hands

like bls he sees that flesh to flesh contact and he wretches his breakfast

‘ew, its the settling down for me’

‘its the flatness of the ass for me’

you stuck your tongue out while he pouted and iwa looked so proud like oml

you guys were still at the honeymoon phase where everything was peaches and rainbows and it continued until your 3rd year

as mentioned above, iwa basically gave you the managerial position

like yall were walking to school during the first day talking about how worried yall were at passing your classes when suddenly he was all like ‘ill see you in the gym later?’

you smiled and blinked confusingly

‘hm? you want a cheerleader there, baby?’

he flushed red at the nickname and furrowed his eyebrows

‘baka, stop calling me that’

you giggled and dodged his gentle smack but he grabbed your hand and pulled you close to his chest

‘i thought we already agreed that you would be our medic slash manager? i mean, it could give you experience for the future right?’

you rested your chin on his front to look up at him and your face held a teasing smirk

‘hmmm~~~ haji-kun just admit it. you want me to be there to cheer you on~’

you teased and nuzzled your cheek on him

iwa scoffed but he couldnt help a soft smile appearing

‘i mean-yea, but its for the future so ill help you every way i can’

‘oya? the future? will you marry me in the future, haji-kun?’

‘MARRY?! HOW DID YOU GET MARRY OUT OF THAT, BRAT’

‘AAWWWWW DONT BE SUCH A TSUNTSUN HAJI-KU-ACKDKJFSLKJNOT THE HAIR!!!’

sure enough you were at the gym after school

the coaches knew you werent a fangirl of oikawa bc hes seen you since the very beginning and oikawa clears you are actually a sister to him and you were fit for the job

ofc hes captain and someone as good as oikawa was going to get what he wants

the gym was full of newbies and recruits hoping to get into the powerhouse team and your eyes scanned to find those ridiculously pretty olive eyes that belonged to your beloved-

‘HAJI-KUN~~!!!’

you waved and shouted loudly, gaining his and everyone else’s attention as well

the underclassmen cooed and awed at you bc their senpai who was famous for being really pretty was in the building

‘waaaa its l/n-senpai’

‘shes so pretty’

‘oMG shes righT iN FroNT oF me!!’

yea you get the gist

the poor ‘haji-kun’ was shrinking under the attention and was growling at oikawa’s teasing look but he begrudgingly held his arms out for you to run into them and snuggle into him

‘hmmm i missed you, haji-kun. im really sad we’re in different classes this year. but then again! i can be here with you!’

you pouted and he ruffled your hair affectionately

‘why else do you think i offered it brat’

oikawa rolled his eyes and gagged before taking your arm to the coach so he could sort you out

‘honestly! not in front of the children, okay?!’

but everything was quickly resolved and you were finally officially their manager/medic

you did managerial duties and you were the go-to when someone falls harshly or gets hurt in any way

in between homework, school, reading medical books, and practice, you and iwa havent spent a lot of time together and tbh that was quite straining your relationship??

like it was something that you saw coming and you both even had a talk about it but you still feel like you didnt prepare enough when it did come

one day, it was monday and there was no practice so you and iwa were walking home together

he squeezed your hand occassionally and you would sing and hum while walking

and omg his heart would balloon up when you would smile up at him and giggle when you would catch him staring

he honestly thought youd both hang out and just lay on the couch, snuggle, yanno the routine

but once you pulled out your textbooks, notebooks, and pens, he was confused

like he even held your hands and stopped you from pulling anything else out

‘y/n? i thought we were,, watching a movie or something?’

you blinked and shook your head

‘i need to study for a test and i still need to memorize how to treat a sprain, haji-kun. there’s more important things to do right now. maybe later?’

more important things?!

more important than showering you with love?

more important than even spending a second with him?

now, dont get him wrong, iwaizumi hajime was by no means a clingy and possessive boyfriend

he understood the boundaries and he understood the priorities

but dear god its been WEEKS since he even hung out w you since your entire schedule seemed to throw him out of loop and acted as if he didnt exist

and now, he was aggrivated and irritated and he wanted nothing but to just cuddle his girlfriend

you noticed his huff and pout but he remained silent

you quirked an eyebrow and placed your pen down

‘haji? whats wrong?’

his eyes snapped to you and you knew now he was angry

‘oh? were you able to spare a few seconds for dear old me?’

you were taken aback and you knew there was a fight brewing so you hid your growing irritation and calmly put your things aside

‘hajime, what are you on about?’

you pried and he looked shocked, almost offended

‘what am i on about? what am i on about? y/n, do you know the last time i even came over? the last time i held you and just talked?’

his voice got louder by every word and you quickly stood up 

‘dont you dare raise your voice at me, hajime. if we have a problem, we talked over it calmly. we dont yell or shout, nothing gets resolved. we talked about this’

but he scoffed

‘talked? when was that? when did we actually just talk? hm? because I sure as hell dont remember it’

youve only seen hajime angry once and it was when you lied to him to go spend time with oikawa

okay in your defense, oikawa was having a panic attack and he begged you not to tell iwa because he didnt want to be scolded by iwa even though you kept telling him that iwa wasnt like that

and theres a reason as to why its only been a one-time thing because iwa was known to have patience that was as long as the damn nile river

except for oikawa bc it seems oikawa just cuts that patience by a million

and when he finally snaps, its when he couldnt take it anymore and he finally gets loose

when iwaizumi hajime was angry,  you really done it

you didnt really know how you handled that anger so you were at a loss and you were feeling conflicted and pained at the way he looked at you

‘h-hajime,,,’

you started and he looked at you expectantly

‘well? when did we last actually talk outside the school premises y/n?’

there was that inner witty voice of yours that wanted to say ‘right now?’ but you held it in bc he was completely serious

‘hajime, please understand. i-i dont want to let anyone down! my grades! the team! i-’

‘but what about me, y/n?’

he tiredly asked

‘do those things-those people- matter more than me? and i really really dont want to ask that but im so so confused y/n’

despite sounding manipulative, you knew iwa was feeling defeated and he couldnt help but ask those questions and sound so desperate

so you scrambled to sit next to him on the couch and held him against you

‘of course you matter to me-haji you mean everything to me, you understand? god, if an adult hears me theyd think im crazy but i love you, hajime. i love you and im so sorry if i ever made you feel that way because i really didnt mean to, okay? im so sorry’

you sobbed and he turned to fully envelop you into his arms and he sighed contently, remembering how good it felt to have you right there

‘no, im sorry, doll. i was being clingy and i didnt mean to lash out, i-’

you slightly let go and cupped his face

‘nonono you were perfectly valid. what you felt was perfectly reasonable. i havent been a good girlfriend lately, huh?’

you sadly smiled but he kissed you, holding you even closer

‘youre always a good one to me. always. just with a not good schedule but we can fix that, right?’

SORRY I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW TO WRITE A FIGHTING SCENE BC ITS ANGSTY AND I DONT DO WELL WITH ANGST BC IT MAKES ME CRY 😭

tbh that was really your only big fight

even when you guys graduated middle school, you both were still quite happy and you both worked hard to make time for each other

HOWEVER

when high school arrived, you both had chosen an extremely hard decision

you chose to go to karasuno while oikawa and iwa went to seijoh

which was a,,,, hard and difficult decision

in fact, you both didnt have a fight per se, just a disagreement that ended in like 30 minutes lmao

tbh its so scary and concerning of how rarely you both have bad times and how quickly it gets resolved

BUT THEN AGAIN THIS IS AN ANGST REQUEST SO ILL OF COURSE BRING IN THE SADNESS

you were busy with karasuno and you were actually taking college courses since you wanted to have a good record if you ever wanted to get into a medical field

that meant you had a lot of homework and most of your time was spent with schoolwork or interning for that family friend mentioned earlier

and you were also a manager for the volleyball team bc karasuno is a butt and they require you to have an after school club

so that meant,,,

no time for iwa

and fate just so happens to hate you bc the days you did have off, he would be busy with volleyball and he wouldnt be able to spend time with you

even weekends were like that

eventually, you both went for 2 months with no contact, just a few text messages and calls

and that strained your former strong relationship

and you knew that iwa was getting angry again with how he even typed his responses

‘want me to bring over snacks for the team?’

‘its okay. wouldnt want you to waste time or anything’

like that type of bull

you were getting increasingly worried because you havent had a good proper time to talk to him about it and you didnt want to fight over the phone

your best friend, kiyoko, noticed your anxious ticks and she snapped you out of your current daydream

‘hey? y/n? you okay?’

she gently asked and you blinked before nodding

‘mhm. just,,, thinking’

but she didnt buy that lie because you went back to chewing your lips and eyes even watering

‘i can revise your notes for you, y/n. and the team isnt doing anything big so i can handle it. you just go see him after school bc i cant handle you being sad anymore’

kiyoko gently smiled and you almost cried bc finally! you were able to clear your schedule enough to go visit your boyfriend

at the end of the school day, you bolted out of there and you were running and huffing all the way to seijoh bc you really wanted to talk to him as soon as possible

the gym was clear in view and you smiled, looking forward to seeing your beloved boy, when you saw him and oikawa being surrounded by girls

now keep in mind, youve suffered through middle school with oikawa and you were his best friend and has known him since you were a toddler

so you know of his looks and the attraction it brought him from all the females

so that didnt really bother you 

but what bothered you was the horde of girls that stuck on to your boyfriend and he didnt even look bothered

just,,, blank

not even pushing away or feeding into their actions

just,,, standing there

‘haji?’

you called out and as if he had a built-in sensor for you, his ears twitched and he swiveled to look at you

‘y/n’

he breathed out and you smiled gently

iwa quickly moved away from the girls and he grabbed your hand so you both could go somewhere else to talk privately

the back of the gym was quiet and you leaned against the wall, iwa joining you shortly

‘how-how are you?’

you asked and he scoffed, totally surprising you

‘is this how we are y/n? asking each other questions as if we’re friends who are meeting for the first time in a while? wait--actually we are arent we?’

you grimaced and looked to the side, knowing he starts his stages of anger with being passive aggressive

‘haji,, please understand’

you pleaded and swiveled to stand in front of him

iwa didnt meet your eyes, instead shoving his hands in his pants pockets and eyes trained to his shoes as he kicked rocks

‘y/n, ive been trying,, for months ive been understanding. please dont ask me to understand anymore’

he snipped and you sniffed

‘im doing this because-because my grades are starting to matter! my future is resting on these years! i have to-’

‘dont you think i know that?!’

he cut you off harshly

your eyes were shaking at his attempt to calm himself down and his trembling hands

‘dont you think i know that you are doing this for that? because ive known you since i was five y/n and i know you would push everything-everyone- else aside to reach a damn goal of yours. no matter the cost, as long as you get it, right? well youve always been like that and somehow i still accepted that yet years later here we are’

iwa waved his arms around to accentuate his point and hurt was bubbling inside your chest at a subtle jab at your flaw

‘well im sorry mr. volleyball ace player! im not talented in any area so i have to depend on my studies to get me a future! so fck me for trying to survive and create a life for us!’

‘us?! how is this for us?! y/n we cant even last a single year being apart and youre already thinking ahead of the future?!’

‘im doing this for you! for us! just wait hajime! we will be happy-’

‘I DONT CARE IF ITS FOR THE FCKING FUTURE! I WANT TO BE HAPPY WITH YOU RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW! AND WHY DOES THE FCKING FUTURE MATTER SO DAMN MUCH WHEN WE CANT EVEN-’

‘BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I WANT TO BE WITH YOU!’

you shrieked

‘HOW CAN YOU LOVE ME IF YOURE NOT LOVING ME?!’

he huffed and harshly wiped away tears that fell

your lips trembled, hands shakingly reaching out to grasp his arms

‘ha-hajime,, don-’

‘should we break up?’

was he asking you this right now? 

seriously?

‘what?’

you whispered and he finally looked up to let you see his pained eyes

‘y/n do you know what day it was yesterday?’

he asked and you blinked, looking everywhere as you tried to remember any important events

‘t-tuesday?’

that seemed to snap his patience 

with an angry grunt, he turned to punch the wall and crouch to hide his face in his hands

‘damn it, y/n’

he whimpered and your heart broke as you could hear his cries

then it clicked

anniversary

it was your 2nd anniversary

and you completely missed it

completely forgotten

you shrunk back and let out a cry before placing a hand over your mouth to muffle your cries

‘ha-haji-’

you sniffled and you tried to go closer to him but he wiped his eyes and stood back up

‘y/n lets break up’

iwa requested with a cracked smile

your eyes widened and you ran to his chest, wrapping your arms around him as if you let go, he would disappear

‘haji, we can talk about this! we cant-please dont do this-i can fix this-’

‘we will only hurt ourselves even more if we continue this. i dont want us to hurt anymore y/n. so please, for once, listen to me’

your heart shattering cries filled your space and he didnt think it was this hard until he finally said it

it was a decision that he has been hanging around for a while and even consulted oikawa about it

‘iwa-chan, if you love y/n so much, its best to let her go. dont make you both suffer anymore’

‘i cant-hajime youre it for me-please dont leave-’

you hiccuped and continued to sob

but iwa remained a pillar and squeezed you tightly against him

‘darling i believe we were meant to be. but we just did it all wrong. when the time is right, lets start over again’

he whispered, finally breaking down with you in his arms

-------

iwaizumi hajime became a taboo word for you

even with oikawa, he swore and vowed to never say either of your names and made sure that you would not be around the area when iwa would come over

like even when he knew iwa would just stay inside, he would be constantly on the lookout to make sure you both didnt see each other

the last time was when you both saw each other in the morning as you exited your house to walk to school

it must’ve been a few months after the breakup and even oikawa felt the raw pain hovering in the air

it was suffocating and oikawa had to motion you to walk because if you both stayed even a second, someone-or both- would start crying

you continued like that for years until you reached your third year

you continued being part of the volleyball team as the medic while kiyoko was the manager

the new recruits were causing up a storm and you were particularly fond of your kita kouhai kageyama tobio

‘kageyama? kageyama tobio?’

you asked once you caught sight of the familiar looking blueberry

he looked up and recognized you as his former manager

‘l/n-senpai!’

he shouted and you ran up to give the boy a hug

‘gosh! youre so tall now! i remembered when you were wee tall!’

you teased and ruffled his hair

‘uh-you know him, y/n?’

suga asked and you nodded

‘eung! we went to the same middle school and i was a manager there’

‘she was friends with iwa-’

ope

something flashed in your eyes 

kiyoko knew that name bc of how you were so depressed about it for 2 years and she started shouting random nonsense, scaring the 2nd and first years

‘y/n! we got new medical tape!’

she sang out and you perked up

‘finally?! we dont have to use duct tape anymore?!’

you excitedly ran over and everyone was both shook that kiyoko was loud and two, you were actually excited over medical tape

kageyama shrugged and continued on training

he kinda figured something happened so he never said anything or asked you anything in fear of upsetting you

and when it was announced that you were going to a practice match with seijoh, kiyoko actually told you she would cover it to make sure you dont see him there

‘its fine, y/n, i got you’

but ofc, you couldnt skip inter high

ltr an event when anyone in the team could get injured so you forced yourself to just ignore it and go

you did a good job of hiding whenever he was in view until the time they actually faced each other

you were walking alongside kiyoko and settling some things down at the bench when you felt his stare

you grimaced at his intense stare and the entire team mistakenly took it as him being interested in you

‘HAH?! LOOK AWAY YOU BEANSPROUT!’

noya growled

‘YEA! DONT LOOK!’

ofc hinata echoed

the 3 seijoh third years exchanged looks of unease when iwa sighed and looked away

‘oi! dont do that, boke!’

kageyama chided and hit the orange boy with a water bottle at the head

hinata whined and glared at him

‘that porcupine was looking at l/n-senpai! he wants to steal her!’

‘boke-’

‘doesnt matter anyways. we broke up ages ago’

you tried to say it jokingly but they couldnt miss the crack in your voice

‘hah?! he broke up with you?! you?! goddess l/n-san?!’

tanaka raged and noya had his own face of shock

the famous seijoh ace dated you?!

this handsome bara arms muscle buff man had the priviledge to date you and yet broke up with you?!

‘yall didnt know that?’

kageyama questioned and everyone glared at him

‘how do you know’

‘i just did. i didnt want to say anything for this same reason that you guys didnt know and she wouldnt want her business out there’

he simply replied and continued filing his nails

you looked up and smiled

‘it doesnt matter anymore. it was years ago so its fine’

‘L/N-SAN WE WILL AVENGE YOU!’

‘WE WILL! WE WILL!!’

the three stooges swore and you smiled softly, ruffling each boy’s hair

‘then go out there and make me proud’

but we know how this goes

they lost and you were so devastated for the others and you dropped your bag to go and comfort a crying hinata

‘sshh, dont cry dont cry. im right here’

you cooed and he accepted your embrace, hugging you tightly

once he finally calmed down, you were able to get him to a good enough condition to walk to the bus to go home

you went back to get your bag when you found something on top of it

a single white carnation

and a small ripped piece of paper that said,

‘my name is iwaizumi hajime. i think youre really pretty’

a/n: iknowiknowiknow i died but im not back to life and this request was lowkey difficult and i dont think i did a good job w it because angst always gets too angsty for me but i couldnt resist giving this a sad ending like bls!!! and uwu im still working on that oikawa route bc ya girl cant decide how angsty she wants it to beeee and i have like 4 different versions of the route in my drafts hehehe,,,, but i hope yall liked this and uwu ive never been in a serious relationship before so i wouldnt know what to fight about and came up with this:(

#iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi #iwaizumi hajime imagines #iwaizumi hajime x reader #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi imagines #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu x reader #iwaizumi hajime angst #iwaizumi hajime fluff #iwaizumi angst #iwaizumi fluff #haikyuu angst #iwa chan #iwaizumi hajime fanfic #haikyuu fanfic #iwaizumi fanfic #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu!! #haikyuu!! angst

[daddy-daichis]

Yesterday the very beautiful and talented @fuwari-s tagged me in this game and since that post is already really long i figured id make a new one lol  (Also thank you for tagging me, it made me so happy)

The Game: Tag your 2D lovers + the other trend I saw yesterday and wanted to do which is Would you actually date them IRL. So ill put that under the cut because it is a lot.

HQ: Atsumu, Daichi, Issei, Bokuto, Hinata, and Kyoutani

BNHA: Bakugou, Denki, and Hawks

JJK: Sukuna and Mei Mei

Others: Kagami from KNB, Levi and Jean from AOT, and Mikoto Suoh from K

So if you want to know if i would date them irl that is below the cut lol

As for tagging... if you want to do it :) @eijirosriot @bokutosnumberonefan @hinosreis @tetsus-kitten @sugawarakoushihoe @mynameisjackattack and anyone else who wants to do one or both of these challenges.

Alright so would i date these men (+ mei mei) in real life. Short answer is yes lmao. Long answer, with some headcanons that may or may not  venture into 18+ category but only slightly. all aged up to be my age which is 26.

Atsumu - PLEASE, YES

we would be so chaotic together but he would also be really loving. As long as he can still prioritize me in a relationship, not over volleyball, just as much, then we will be golden. We would have such a good time and i feel like we would have a lot of fun bickering, which i really enjoy. Play fighting as a form of foreplay, if you will lmao. We’d probs be friends in HS and then get together after he starts playing for MSBY and he is secured in his position (and himself tbh). I just love this cocky bastard. he also gives me switch vibes and as a switch, i love that for me.

Daichi - YES

All i need is to be wrapped in his arms on the daily and i would be happy. Man would know how to take care of me and that is all. Love of my life, too good for this world. Wholesome husband. He would be able to manage my crazy side and chill me out when i get to anxious. I would want to be bratty just to get him to drop his good guy routine sometimes and I feel like he would like that.

Issei - YES

Funeral home employee can get it. Matsukawa Horse cock Issei can whisk me off my feet and straight into bed. we would have a lot of fun picking on oikawa together (out of love of course) but we would balance each other out a lot. His darker humor would go well against my lighter humor. Also I feel like our level of hotness is pretty comparable... like we aren't the prettiest in the friend group but still good (if that makes sense)

Bokuto - YES

Big ball of sunshine to light up my day, he would literally fuck the sad out of me every day I just know it. Like atsumu, as long as I am a priority to him itll work out. We also kind of have the same sad moods so I feel like we could either both just curl up on the couch together and watch a movie or bring the other out of a funk easily. I love this giant himbo so much.

Hinata - most likely yes

Pretty much the same reasons as bokuto but I feel like I would get drained of his energy faster, so he would def have to cuddle me more. For everyone else so far I can imagine being high school sweethearts, but with hinata i think he wouldnt settle down until later, or even start dating so it would probably be a lot of pining and watching him from the side lines for a while, which would be really hard tbh. but the way he would smile at me after a match would make it worth it so...

 Kyoutani - Hard YES

I love a boy with anger issues, what can i say... (cough couch my irl husband with anger issues couch couch) I would love to be his weak spot and the one person he would go to to help him not feel angry anymore. I think that my fun personality would help him to unbox himself a bit. I just want to give him cuddles and a place to feel accepted. id also i KNOW hes a monster in bed... 

Bakugou - FUCKING HARD YES, PLEASE

if he was real the things i would do to and for him... A lot like kyoutani i would want to give him a place where hes accepted, and a place where he is unconditionally loved. I would be able to handle his misguided anger and calm him down and give him space. I headcanon that hes very cuddly in private to just his S/O which is something that i love. I love his lil smirk and would do anything to get him to smirk at me. As long as he is able to set me as a priority it would work out, but that would be what he struggles with so it would be a thing we would have to talk about. But I also feel that once you say something about it he would check in with you because of course he has to be the best bf/husband. I feel like I could talk for hours about him so Ill just wrap it up by saying that I love me a passionate man who would probs be a lil possessive, and I would use that to my advantage. 

Denki - GOD YES

I really do think that denki and I are soulmates. we are both the perfect blend of funny, pervy, while still being soft. I feel like there would be a lot of mutual pining at first but he would end up the golden retriever gamer boy to my alt bisexual and thats just the perfect pairing. We would pull so much shit and then get away with it because thats just us being us. I see us being scolded by bakugou a lot for the stupid shit we would pull. Also late night drives in his shitty tuned car to taco bell while we sing alt rock songs from the 2010s. also the switch vibes are immaculate.

 Hawks - Probably

So it would honestly depend a lot on what version of hawks.. him in the hero commission is a no, because he wouldnt be able to be honest with me about a lot of stuff. Like his name, or when i can see him again, and that would give me too much anxiety. When hes free of them and is actually allowed to be himself I think it could work then. I know that he of course wants to still be the best hero, so he would have the same problems as bakugou with finding a balance, but if he wants to i think he could. He would also have a lot of trauma from his relationship with his parents and the commission so I dont know if he would be able to give his love away as freely as he wants so we could get therapy together. I love that for us. But i would happily wake up next to this beautiful birb man if he would have me.  

Sukuna - A hesitant yes

so.. the anger issues that ive mentioned before.. yes. I would like sukuna. I would be his lil bride and sit on his lap on his throne as long as he didnt kill my loved ones or my cats lmao. I would also be ok with being his and itadoris gf while hes living in itadoris head. being with him is just asking for an unhappy ending tho, whether its a life always on the run, or someones trying to kill me, or someones trying to kill him, or hes trying to kill someone. But yes i would like to be with him but that would mean sacrificing a lot. 

Mei Mei - god yessssss..

Please Mei Mei step on me and make me ur lil house wife. I see us living in a pent house apartment with the most breathtaking view of the Tokyo skyline. I would want for nothing and she could take me where ever she wanted and i would just follow her around with heart eyes.

 Kagami - YES

my basketball husband! i love him and would love to be loved by him. Id follow him wherever. He would take care of me and is just so dreamy.. also i guess the mild anger issues.. but hes really not that bad. He would just be such a good s/o. He would cook us nice dinners, wed have a few cats, and he would carry me around a lot because hes so strong. While were on the topic of strong... his stamina... everyone on this list probably has good if not great stamina... but kagami just hits different..... have you seen him in the zone? have you seen his thighs? his sex zone has got to be incredible. 

 Levi - Yes

I was going to say it depends, but really it doesn't... if were in the aot universe and hes my captain and I fall in love with him u can bet ur ass im gonna try and get with him because i could die at anytime. if its some au where he is here in our universe and somehow we meet... like of course im gonna be in love with him. our height difference isnt too bad, im only like an inch or 2 taller than him. I think we would both have a great time together. I would make him laugh, and he would help me clean, because lord knows I hate cleaning. BUT i hate cleaning because its something that I always have to do alone, and I feel like levi would have us be cleaning together like he makes the scouts do. and hes just so sexy... 

Jean - big yes

This beautiful handsome man... idk what to even say about him. Hes strong, funny, handsome, cocky, but very much full of love. would love to run away from the world with him. I feel like if he was in love with me before *tries not to give away spoilers* the marco incident (?) that after he would become very clingy and attached and im ok with that. There would have to be lots of cuddles and reassurances and i just want to see him happy and not at war, with both real life people and himself... id give him the best kisses and he would become addicted to them. 

Mikoto - No? But maybe...

I feel like we could be.. but if you watched the show then you know.. But i would love to be Homra’s princess TBH. No one would mess with me or they would have to face the wrath of my big fire boyfriend and his whole ass gang. But on the other hand I feel like Mikoto wouldnt allow himself to fall in love, so it would probably be a hush hush topic. everyone knows the boss and I are in an entanglement, but they cant talk about it. Then Anna starts asking questions to Mikoto and he has to come clean to her, which would be so cute. He tells her is a secret but she doesn't care lmao. in conclusion, I would want to, but I dont think he would let me.... Maybe friends with benefits tho....

............................................................................................

ok if you read all this im officially in love with you. Please take my heart. 

This took me like 2 hours to do because I love thinking about it so much. if you have any thoughts about any of this hop into my dms or comment on this because id love to hear them (especially if you think i belong with one more than the others lmao). 

#i cant believe i spent 2 hours on this. #im just so in love with 2d characters #about me

[ezmarie]

@thegalaxyisendless

hi! i was wondering if you could do a haikyuu matchup for me? my name is keira, i’m straight?(honestly i’m very much confused about my sexuality), and my pronouns are she/her. i’m a capricorn, ESTJ and a gryffindor. personality: i’m kinda closed off when first meeting someone new but will quickly open up once i get to know you a bit. i’m a pretty awkward person and use sarcasm as a defense. i do pretty good in school, and speak two languages (english and french) and am trying to learn another one however i kinda lack common sense and have gotten myself into bad situations which could’ve been avoided if i just took a step back to think before i acted. i’m pretty good at reading people and judging someone’s character. i always try be an emotional support pillar for my friends and give them advice when i can. however i struggle with sharing my emotions with those around me which can make me seem pretty cold or insensitive at times when i just don’t know how to properly express how i’m feeling.hobbies: Sports or anything active. I used to do competitive gymnastics and now i do track and field. i love going skiing and skating in the winter and going on hikes or bikes right, playing volleyball, basketball and soccer in the summer. I also love to paint, read and watch conspiracy theory videos. I love stormy days and the nighttime. going on late night walks with friends, watching the sunset/ sunrise, reading a book while curled up in bed and it’s raining outside are a few of my favorite things to do.just some random things i love are bookstores, coffee shops, bakery’s, astrology, greek mythology, kpop, animeappearance: i’m 5’7, shoulder length brown hair, blue eyes and have an athletic build music: i honestly listen to just about anything from kpop to anime openings to rap. my favorites artists are probably the neighborhood, arctic monkeys, lauv, bts, cix, harry styles and umi my playlist name at the moment is *switched red lights on*

hiiii! ofc i can!! i ship you with...yamaguchi!!

he’s shy and reserved and isn’t really considered and open person, which is why the fact that you open up so quickly will benefit him. sure you might be a little closed off at first, but the way you open up after your comfortable with someone rubs off on him and thats what he needs. and the sarcasm you use as a defense isnt something he’s a stranger to, i mean cmon he’s friends with tsukishima.

he’ll make sure to warn you and make you think through your plan when he notices your about to make an irrational decision. he’ll also understand very quickly that your not so good at expressing your feelings which is why he would work on them with you. even if he wasn’t the best at that himself, he’ll still work on things that can help you both get better at letting your emotions out.

since you can read people well you’ll notice his shy personality and won’t push or make him do things that make him uncomfortable. that’s something that he really recognises and loves about you. he also is so grateful you want to give him emotional support because more times than none he’s in desperate need of it. it gives him so much comfort when you make it known that your there for him no matter what.

also, i feel like he would literally be in love with not only you but also your music taste like his playlist would have so many of those artists on it-

scenarios with the two of you:

•i feel like he would be really good at painting so- you both painting pictures for eachother but keeping it a surprise until you show it and he ends up painting a rlly pretty portrait of you

•you guys playing volleyball while goofing around and laughing + you actually end up winning the little match you played

•y’all going on a date to a coffee shop in the morning and you guys have a beautiful view of the sunrise while you talk

i hope you liked this one it was really cute to write!! <33 (also i apologize for taking a while to get this out my brain hasn’t been working😭🤚)

#haikyuu!! #haikyuu matchups #yamaguchi tadashi #yamaguchi #Petals ✿

[httpsjjun]

hi!! idk if this came in late because ive been a bit busy lately😓 but i hope your day is wonderful and happy sunshine sun WOW! ya know?? if it isnt, i hope this will make your day a little brighter than it was because you deserve all the happiness😁😁 also, i saw your carrd earlier and ITS SO PRETTY. if only i could make mine like that😭

so these are some groups i ult, (by some, i probably mean a lot) seventeen, ateez, bts, etc. i dont want to go too into detail because then i’d just name everyone hehe. based on my memory, i believe you wrote that you liked jeonghan and beomgyu! jeonghan is one of my biases and so is beomgyu!! i was going to get into enhyphen but i learned astro because i was having an eunwoo moment💀 which is funny because my bias is rocky now. idk if you stan astro so imma stop talking kdjjsjsn

a hobby i really enjoy doing is painting/drawing. its really helps me relax and wind down from a stressful week or something. so im expecting to be painting by the end of this week loll. i also enjoy playing or watching sports! i wasnt able to watch the game this sunday because i had so much work to do agh stress.

anyway, thats all for now because i dont want to say too much😭 stay safe and i hope youre doing well🥺🥺

-🪐 anon

wah~ adding a read more because i talk a lot 😭

wait before i answer! can i ask what time zone you’re in? 😅 it’ll probably be easier for both of us to wish each other a good day! (i’m pacific standard time!)

i love your energy! that definitely made me smile today hehe! i had a pretty good day today hehe. how about you? i hope you had a wonderful day!!

feel free to use my carrd as inspo for yours! i got mine from a youtube video because i can’t do things 😭 but it was so fun omg! i’m adding the link here if you want it!

ah~ seventeen is like my ult ult! they’re my happy group (i’m not sure if i can saty comfort group cuz i read smthing about that being offensive...) ah a beomgyu and jeonghan stan!! 🥰🥰 yes yes!! i love enhypen omg! if you want to get into them, i recommend watching enhypen&hi (that’s their predebut reality show hehe) i would recommend watching i-land but i’m not sure how you would feel. like some people dont want to cuz they don’t want to get attached to members who didn’t make the final cut... sooo

omg i love astro! i know the members and i listen to all of their songs but i don’t think i would call myself an actual stan since i don’t watch anything of theirs or know their personalities (everyone has a different definition of ‘stanning’ and this is kinda mine hehe) rocky always catches my attention! like i kinda fall in love with dancers like wow~ i admire how they move and how good they look! i guess that’s what kinda got me into dancing! hehe~

painting and drawing sounds really fun! i guess i could say i can draw, but i will always be mad that my parents didn’t make me do art from when i was little to now! like come on! i could be some amazing artist but here i am, stressing about what to put on my college apps 😭 but im so happy thay painting helps you relax! (when the event is over, i would love to see some of your work!! ☺️)

i don’t really watch sports but i guess you can say i can play basketball and volleyball hehe. im not sure if i still can cuz it’s been like a year since i last touched a ball 😅

don’t worry about talking a lot hehe! i learned from one of my moots that talking a lot means your comfortable with someone, so i’m flattered hehe! 💕 thank you for stopping by to talk to me!! 😚 (and i didn’t realize how long this got😅 i guess i ramble a lot)

#🪐 anon #ordersupanons

[cockringhoratio]

well gosh golly gee will ya look at that its a tag game! tagged by the blogger of Bad Cosmemes: @sherpawhale​

PRESS J TO SKIP IF YOU AINT WANNA SEE THIS sorry mobile users ur screwed

Rules: answer 11, ask 11

1. What sport are you most excited to watch during the 2018 Winter Olympics? Or sport you’d most like to understand more about?

okay so im ngl i mainly watch the olympics for swimming, diving, volleyball, and gymnastics, and those are all summer sports, but that one when you ski and shoot things at the same time sounds pretty banging. also freestyle skiing and snowboarding are cool too.

2. Would you rather be Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or Snapchat famous?

honestly youtube probably. because i love to talk about stuff when no one can interrupt me and honestly i could probably swing it as a how to channel. and also adsense but the only things i know how to How To are tech theater nonsense or already have like 50 thousand videos on them so meh

3. What are your thoughts/feelings on your most famous “local” (local can be regional) sports team?

so. the thing about va. is that. we dont have SPORTS! we kinda bum off everyone around us, which means for college basketball, we go to duke vs TARHEELS WOOT WOOT (also its hilarious that nc state thinks that theyre somehow in the picture for that rivalry like lmao) and then i think the cavaliers do okay for themselves in football, and i think thats the closest we get to a Known team from va? also we have the tides in norfolk, who feed into the orieles, but like does anyone actually follow the minor leagues??? and because the nationals in dc are closer, everyone follows them instead of the orieles for the majors so its just wah???? and then obvi the redskins (whom i did not realize where in dc for THE LONGEST time) for the nfl and that about it. my fam goes to tides games sometimes, and also penninsula pilots games, which are really fun bc its all homey and old school, and thats about the extent of my sports knowledge. yes technically local for me right now would be la but honestly fuck an la.

4. What is the one book/book series you would read to experience it for the first time again if you could?

So Fucking Many. um. lemme think. i reread thief of time by terry pratchett almost religiously but it still manages to get me just as much as it did the first time, so not that one. (if you asking what book id want buried with me, however, that would 100% be the answer). maybe the belgariad/mallorean by david eddings?? bc the ending of that makes me cry like a fuckin baby holy shit. but i swear theres a better one...... NEVERWHERE. by neil gaiman. yeah. that one. shoutout to allison for first giving me that one lol. (also the wee free men and all the tiffany aching books. those are Good Shit too)

5. What is the one tv show you would watch to experience it for the first time again if you could?

pushing daisies. no question.

6. What is the one song or album you would listen to experience it for the first time again if you could?

transmissions by starset, and also gimme gimme gimme (a man after midnight) by abba and the last of the real ones by fob. the reason i listed more than one is bc if i didnt i would immediately star talking abt transmissions and starset and then this post would be 5 miles longer than its already gonna be

7.  What is the one game you would play to experience it for the first time again if you could?

i dont have very expansive gaming experience outside of browser stuff, and i technically havent beat superhot yet so i cant really experience it AGAIN cuz i havent even fully experienced it for the first time. but on the other hand, i do play an obscene number of escape room games and once you beat those is kinda like well... so i guess id go back and and do those again.... OH WAIT lego indiana jones. because im a fucking class act.

8. What is the one movie you would watch to experience it for the first time again if you could?

descendants (2015) bc HOLY SHIT did ben fucking hit me out of left field like that is an emotional experience i definitely want to relive. also power rangers (2017) and the entire oceans trilogy (in reverse order like i watched them the first time lmao its so funny to be introduced to andy garcia as like their grumpy sugar daddy in the last one and then see him in 12 and 11 and hes like.... so not that...)

9. If you drive, do you prefer to drive with your hands at 10 and 2 or 9 and 3 (don’t say other, which of these two)?

ah i see we’re gonna pretend i dont drive with one hand at 6 and/or my knee. and even then, they teach 8&4 now bc of airbag stuff, but uuuuh whenever i sit up really straight and stretch my arms, i put my hands at 10 and 2

10. What’s the best vanity plate you’ve ever seen?

i come from the land of $10 vanity plates so Let Me Tell You i have seen some real gems. my friend has AUDREY 2, saw a truck with TH8R once, also a PIR8 GRL truck, and my best friend has H3CK Y3A bc shes a fucking nerd. thats all i can tell you off the top of my head but there are some great ones. also lots of like ‘luv my kids’ or jackson 5 type plates. and also lots of Well Im Sure You Didnt Mean It As A Sex Thing Because Of The Stick People Family On Your Windshield But I Literally Cant Come Up With Any Other Interpretation

11. What’s the best prank you’ve ever pulled, or if you’re not a prankster, best prank you’ve witnessed?

god you know that feeling where you know youve pulled some good ones but you cant for the life of you remember them? thats me rn. cuz i Know me and my friends have pulled some real shit on each other. all i can remember is scaring obnoxious freshmen by turning off the lights in the catwalks after telling them about our theater ghost, but like thats boring. there was the 69 shirt a different group of made but like we were pretty obvious about that so it wasnt really a prank. hmmmm. cant think of any ive witnessed either damn. my memories really going to shit isnt it.

My questions:

1. what creature would you ride into battle in your YA adventure film?

2. what would your highly unrealistic virus a la hackers (1995) look like/be themed around?

3. what is your ideal pet? (real or otherwise)

4. what is your opinion on the fact that my roommate has color coordinated every goddamn thing she owns down to the fucking charging cable she uses?

5. what are your favorite kind of shoes?

6. follow any webcomics?

7. whats your treat yourself meal?

8. whats your feel good movie/book/show?

9. whats your favorite ride or type of ride at amusement parks/carnivals/etc?

10. what historical figure would be fight on sight if you could time travel?

11. if a car is going 70+ on a 60 highway are you the one with your foot on the pedal or the one screaming in the passenger seat?

tagging time: i know i normally dont actually tag people but i got to pick the questions this time so imma do it. also dont feel obligated to do it if you dont wanna, and if i didnt tag you but you do wanna, have at it fam. @colordrifter @punkpixieprince @holybikinisbatman @rainelinde @theheartshapedsunglasses​ @hometown-unicorn​

#sherpawhale #colordrifter #punkpixieprince #holybikinisbatman #rainelinde #theheartshapedsunglasses #hometown unicorn #tried to keep it to people ive seen do tag games before #but like i said if youre looking to break into the game i extend my @ to you #long post #abt cy

[keranos-god-of-storm-crows]

tagged by @anafenza bc she said I could do it but didnt actually tag me just siad mutuals can do it

THE LAST: 1. Drink: water 2. Phone call: My friend Bradley called me 3. Text message: “ Good night I love you!!” 4. Song you listened to: stolen Roses by karen elson 5. Time you cried: My dad yelled at me for no reason


HAVE YOU: 6. Dated someone twice: nope! 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Nope 8. Been cheated on: No 9. Lost someone special: I’ve never truly experienced loss I think 10. Been depressed: thats my life dude 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: 2 times lmao

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 3 colors you say

1. green

2. pink

3. purple

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. Made new friends: yeppers! 16. Fallen out of love: nope :^) 17. Laughed until you cried: so many times lmao 18. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah! 19. Met someone who changed you: totes 20. Found out who your friends are: I always knew 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yes GENERAL: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all but two! 23. Do you have any pets: my two furry daughters, yes 24. Do you want to change your name: I already changed my name I dont need to again lol 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Nothing lmao 26. What time did you wake up: 12:40

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: texting my girlfriend 28. Name something you can’t wait for: this weekend to hang out my friends and play d&d 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: how I look probably 31. What are you listening to right now: rocks and water 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have no idea 33. Something that is getting on your nerves: bein misgendered by my parents 34. Most visited Website: Tumblr 35. Mole/s: I have one on my back 36. Mark/s: I have a scar on my finger, 3 burn marks, and I always feel like i have a mark on my neck from my attempt  Childhood dream: to be popular. started from the bottom now we here

38. Haircolor: currently blonde 39. Long or short hair: Short 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yes :^) 41. What do you like about yourself?: I like that I’m nice sometimes 42. Piercings: both ears 43. Bloodtype: o- 44. Nickname: ellie 45. Relationship status: Taken 46. Zodiac: Taurus 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Star versus the forces of Evil 49. Tattoos: none 50. Right or left hand: Right unless you want me to write something, in which case neither 51. Surgery: I dont think I’ve had a surgery 52. Hair dyed in different color: I’ve had blue, pink, blonde, green, black, red, and soon silver! 53. Sport: if i have to pick one, basketball or volleyball 55. Vacation: Savannah Georgia 56. Pair of trainers: Oi, luv I got a pair MORE GENERAL: 57. Eating: nothing 58. Drinking: water 59. I’m about to: an essay 61. Waiting for: D&D this weekend 62. Want: to have a car and also lose a bit more weight

63. Get married: We’ll see 64. Career: community management and social media 66. Lips or eyes: both 67. Shorter or taller: shorter I guess not too many folks are taller than me anyways 68. Older or younger: I’ve only dated someone older than me but I like it 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: stomach I guess?? 71. Sensitive or loud: sensitive 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker, I like to be pushed to try things sometimes HAVE YOU EVER: 74. Kissed a stranger: nope 75. Drank hard liquor: dude you have no idea lol 76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no thank god these things is EXPENSIVE 77. Turned someone down: A lot of people, most of them were really too young or old to be hitting on me 78. Sex in the first date: nope 79. Broken someone’s heart: I have.... 80. Had your heart broken: No 81. Been arrested: not yet 82. Cried when someone died: No 83. Fallen for a friend: Yes DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. Yourself:that dumbass caint do shit 85. Miracles: Yes in my EDH deck 86. Love at first sight: no it is something that should be developed 87. Santa Claus: no 88. Kiss in the first date: I mean no isnt that the stage before you’re sure if you wanna be official 89. Angels: Yeah OTHER: 90. Current best friends name: I have a few ; Jenny, Rose, Ash 91. Eye color: My eyes are Blue I think 92. Favorite movie: the truman show

tagging @everyone

#Elrick speaks #Text to speech

[jiminiethicc-moved]

Post ten facts about yourself and then pass it on to ten faves 💜 Just if you want ;)

Sure thing sweet thing ;) lmao i must warn you people that im really uninteresting but here we go! Fact 1: Im Canadian. I live in Alberta, Canada and Tim Hortons is literally best. Fact 2: I play alot of sports. Ive been playing soccer for 10 years now and ive also played basketball, volleyball and badminton. Apart from soccer, volleyball is definitely my fave ♡ I play setter and right side hitter.Fact 3: Im short :/ im like 5'2 ( i think thats 157cm)Fact 4: I mean this isnt anything new but I love Bangtan more than I love myself lmao. And I am complete tRasH for Park Jimin. Like...god is he even real? How can one....man...be so....damn....ugh im gonna stop before this turns into a 'Why I would sell my soul for Park Jimin' post.Fact 5: Vmin and Jikook are my shIT YO.Fact 6: @katarashope and @fandom-loving-freaks are my irl best friends, wow friendship.Fact 7: I love to read!! I read books and fanfiction alot more than I watch movies or TV and alot of people just dont understand but like, its just, better??? Idk.Fact 8: I think I have Bubble Tea at least once a week cuz im obsessed oops.Fact 9: Im running out of facts so im just gonna tell yall that two nights ago I had a dream where the BTS maknae line were doin some freaky stuff together in a hot springs if ya know what i mean (😏👀) uh, but then this group of um *clears throat* furries....barged in and...ruined...everything.Yes. Furries ruined my dream about a vminkook threesome. You read that right.Fact 10: My favorite season is probably fall. Just, the colors of the leaves, and how its not super hot like summer but not super cold like winter, and the sunsets and just *sigh* Fall is just so pretty.Whelp, that's it I guess! Thanks for this 💜💜

[safe-sane-thin-blog]

READ ME

About myself and this blog

My person and personal background

Im 28 years old and live in the EU. Im 170cm / 5′7 in hight and currently weigh 55kg / 121lbs.

I suffered from Anorexia nearly my whole teenager years until I was about 20. In this time my lowest weight was 48kg / 105lbs and though I never reached an underweight that would make a hospitalisation necessary or put my life in real danger I was really, really sick because of my ED (I still have a heart insufficiency from this time). Sometimes I fasted for two weeks, and I mean zero calorie fasting (only water and supplements). Most times I ate between 200 and 600kcal a day. And I was pretty active in various sports, swimming, riding, volleyball, basketball and fencing each once a week (no workout besides that except sports in school, I never really was into excessive exercising). I was dizzy all the time, I took tons of caffeine and ephedrine to keep myself from passing out constantly (didnt always work), my hair fell out, my skin was dry, my heart was weak because of constant malnutrition and the huge amounts of ephedrine I took. If I would have continued this way I would be dead by now, Im absolutely sure of that.

As you can see Im not which means I didnt continue this way. I cant really explain how I recovered. I had a therapist since I was 14 but not because of ED, it was about other problems. I never sought help, I never got an official treatment for my ED, it was just me who understood I cant go on like this and changed my way. Important: This ist not how it usually works - in 99% of all cases you DO need professional help to successfully fight a ED and I recommend to reach out for such help! Im just telling my own personal story here and this is how it was for me, kind of a miracle.

I started being a vegetarian when I was 18 (not because of my ED but other reasons) and moved (far) away from home, and this was the point my ED started to fade somehow. It took about two years to “fully” (not really as you will read later but pretty much) recover and it wasnt easy but it worked. I slowly stopped counting calories, not from one day to the other but over a year. It wouldnt be true to tell you I began eating healthy, I didnt, but I started eating more and somehow over these two years I managed to not think about it constantly. I could finally eat without this voice in my head telling me that this is bad, that I should feel guilty, that I will become fat.

I studied medicine at an european university at this time which made it easier for me. I didnt finish it, I only studied for three years and then had to quit due to some other mental illnesses but it was long enough to give me some deeper insight of the human body, how it works, what it needs, what it can endure and what it cant. This helped.

I lived like this until half a year ago (January 2017), then my ED came back to me… I suffered from heavy depression all these years and had to take some strong medication which made me gain a lot of weight. Suddenly I was as “heavy” as never before - I weighed 70kg / 155lbs. I somehow learned to live with a “normal” body but I couldnt stand this, this was “fat”. It isnt, I know that, but obviously my ED was never really gone since for me personally it was and I couldnt help thinking again about losing weight, calories, food etc.

This was when my “second” ED started, which is still with me right now. I want to lose weight again, I want to go back to my lowest weight of 48kg / 105lbs, I do count calories again, I do keep record of everything I eat and drink, I do need my scale every day, I do fast sometimes, I do restrict myself. BUT I didnt and dont want to take the same path I took 15 years ago, I dont want to make myself this sick again (and by the way I also just can’t without dying because of the mentioned heart insufficiency) so I tried to find a way to live with my ED as healthy as possible. Which I do now! Important: An ED is never ever “healthy”, theres no way you will be healthy while having an ED. Its in the nature of things, an eating disorder is an eating -disorder-, a sickness, and a very serious one! But there are ways to live healthier than just starving yourself to death. And still losing weight. I think I found a way and I want to share it with you!

What this blog is (not) about

This blog does promote something! First of all: Eating disorders are extremely dangerous, stay away from this shit at all cost! Second: If you already did develop an ED, try to live through it as safe as possible. There is a way to do this, I promise! I know that some people suffering from EDs are just “too sick” to follow this way, that not everybody can survive this illness, that not everybody is able to stay safe - thats not pessimism, thats not telling you you cant do it (quite the opposite), thats just a sad fact. But Im sure a lot of people can do it, they just dont know it and how it works. And this is what this blog is about.

This blog is about how to survive an ED. Its about how to cope with an ED in the most healthy way possible. It is, of course, about losing weight and getting thin as well - otherwise it wouldnt be about EDs. But it is about how to do this in the most “sane” way (a contradiction, I know… thats life, thats people).

This blog is NOT a “Thinspo Blog”. You may find some pictures of bodies I consider beautiful on my Likes page and maybe these will serve the purpose of thinspo to some but this is not what this is about! If you are looking for thinspo, please look somewhere else.

This blog is a journal of my way to cope with my ED and hopefully a source of information as well to some of you about how to stay safe with an ED. And a place for you to ask questions if you have some.

This blog is not for people who do not have an eating disorder and just want to lose weight. Losing weight and having an ED are two totally different things and, believe me, if you do not have one you do not want one! If you just want to lose weight in a healthy way please read (post coming soon) in which I show you a healthy way to lose weight and then leave this blog. This is just for you protection.

On this blog I will share with you what I eat and how much I lose. I lost 15kg / 33lbs in the last 5.5 months. For many of you this might sound pretty slow but thats how it works, losing weight relatively “sane”. There just is no way to lose it faster than this without extremely weakening your body (which is not safe).

On this blog I will share information about what the human body needs to stay alive and to function. About what you have to do to not die! Also what you have to do to lose weight, but without starving yourself.

I dont expect that all of you follow my way, or are able to follow it. If you just cant help (wanting) losing faster, fasting longer, eating less, I wont say “Youre doing it wrong”, I will still be with you and try to show you that it can be different and hope you will understand some day. But if you just dont want to try to stay safe, I cant help you and you are wrong at this place. This is no clinic/therapy, I am no doctor. I cant save you all, Im sorry.

I hope to reach as many of you as possible and if I, by sharing my own way, just save one single person from a terrible fate its worth it.

If you have any questions about EDs, nutrition, medical stuff, whatever about how to stay safe with an ED, just send me an ask.

#readme #aboutme #about this blog #eating disorder #staying safe #staying alive