#that's where we are today!

[spockvarietyhour]

The Experience ™️

#we finished this scene but this is where we've left off for today #Fallout #Fallout TV #Fallout Prime #The Target #Yao Guai #T60 Power Armor #Titus #Knight Titus #spoilers #Fallout Spoilers #Danny and Renae watch Fallout

[inkskinned]

you have to go to work so you can pay for your doctor, who is not taking your insurance right now, and if you say i can't afford the doctor's you are told - get a better job. it is very sad that you are unwell, yes, but maybe you should have thought about that before not having a better job.

(where is the better job? who is giving out these better jobs? you are sick, you are hurting - how the hell are you supposed to be well enough for this better job?)

but you go to the doctor because you had the nerve to be hurt or sick or whatever else. and they tell you that it is because you have anxiety. you try your best. you are a self-advocate. you've done the reading (which sometimes pisses them off worse, honestly). you say it is actually adding to my anxiety, it is effecting my quality of life. so they say that you are fat. they say that all young people have this happen to them, isn't it a medical marvel! they say that you should eat more vegetables. they say that you probably just need to lose a little more weight, and that you are faking it for attention.

(what attention could this doctor possibly give? what validation? that's their fucking job, isn't it?)

there is always a hypochondriac, right. someone always tells you about a hypochondriac. or someone who is unnecessarily aggressive during the worst days of their life. or someone looking "for a quick fix". or some idiot who wasn't educated about how to properly care for themselves who just abandons their treatment. and again, the hypochondriac, the overly-cautious hysteric. these people don't deserve to be treated like humans (right), and since you might be one of these people, you also don't get treated like a human. because those people can really fuck with the system, you now have to pay for it. and besides. you're actually probably faking it.

(more often than not, you find a 2:1 ratio of these stories. for every "hypochondriac", there are 2 people who knew something was wrong, and yet nobody could fucking find it. the story often ends with pointless suffering. the story often ends with and now it's too late, and it's going to kill me.)

you are actually just making excuses. someone else got that procedure or that diagnosis and he's fine, you should be fine too. someone else said they watched a documentary about other inspirational people with your exact same condition, maybe you should be inspirational, too. you're just too morbid. your pain and your experience is probably just not statistically concerning. it is all self-reported anyway, and you're just being a baby.

(once, while sitting down in the middle of making coffee, you had the sudden, horrible thought - i could kill myself to make the pain stop. you had to call your best friend after that. had to pet your dog. had to cry about it in the shower. you won't, but that moment - god, fuck. the pain just goes on and on.)

you know someone who went in for routine surgery and said i still feel everything. they told her to just relax. it took her kicking and screaming before they figured out she wasn't lying - the anesthetic drip hadn't been working. you know someone who went in for severe migraines who was told drink water and lose weight. you know someone who was actively bleeding out and throwing up in the ER and was told you're just having a bad period.

in the ER there are always these little posters saying things like "don't wait! get checked today!" and you think about how often you do wait. how often the days spool out. you once waited a full week before seeing the doctor for what you thought was a sprained wrist. it had actually been broken - they had to rebreak it to set it.

but you go into the doctor. the problem you're having is immediate. the person behind the counter frowns and says we're not taking your insurance. you will be paying for this out-of-pocket.

they send you home with tylenol and a little health packet about weight loss or anxiety or attention deficit. on the front it has your birthday and diagnosis. you think about crying, and the words swim. it might as well say go fuck yourself. it might as well say you're a fucking idiot. it might as well say light your money on fire and lie down in it. and the entire fucking time - the problem persists.

it's okay. it's okay, it's just another thing, you think. it's just another thing i have to learn to live with.

#spilled ink #warm up #can you tell what i'm mad about today specifically #i will say that there are a LOT of things that go into this. like a lot. this is ungendered and unspecific for a reason #it isn't just sexism. it's also racism. and ableism. and honestly classism. #and before a healthcare professional reads this as a personal attack: i understand ur burnt out #we are ALSO burnt out. your situation is also dire. this is not an attack on you. #this is a commentary on the incredible amounts of bigotry that lie at the heart of capitalism #where people have to pay money out of pocket to be told to fuck off. #your job is important. so is our humanity. and if you cannot accept that people are fucking mad as hell #at the industry - you are probably not listening . #anyway at some point im gonna write a piece about sexism specifically in medical shit #but i don't want terfs clowning in it bc they can't understand nuance #> it is true that ppl w/a uterus are more likely to experience medical malpractice & dismissal globally #> it is also true that trans people experience an equally fucked up and bad time in the medical field #> great news! the medical industrial complex is an equal opportunity life ruiner :) #(if you find it necessary to go into a debate about biology while discussing medical malpractice #i want to warn you that you're misunderstanding the issue. because guess what. #cis MEN might experience this. particularly black men. particularly disabled men. #so YES having a uterus can lead to more trouble for you. but this happens a LOT. #instead of fighting those ALSO experiencing your pain.... try working WITH them. #which btw. is like. actual feminism.)

[napping-sapphic]

I just want to fall in love with someone who makes me feel safe like even when we’re angry or sad or upset i just want to know that both of us are still going to be okay

#wlw #wlw mood #sapphic #sapphism #lesbian #today was….not good #and at one point i had a moment #where i was just unbearably SAD and LONELY because i didn’t have anyone to call or talk to about it #but im still really hopeful it will happen some day #because all i want in this world is to feel secure #and for others to feel secure around me #and for everyone to feel secure around people they love #because it’s so painful and scary when you don’t #but one day im going to be warm and happy in someone’s arms and will barely remember this at all #im manifesting it #im completely okay btw things just got a little rough #and in the incredibly stressful and dramatic times i was experiencing my brain STILL had to be gay #im gay and i like sleeping #also yeah i said i wouldnt post after midnight again like two days ago but whatever #im sad and want to yearn on the internet we can make an exception tonight

[chitinleg]

got him off-balance!

#my art #ds9 #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #elim garak #garashir #watercolor #image desc in alt text #i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare #“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT! #look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior #if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !” #cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad #ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole #the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod #AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel #because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it #often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows #i struggled at first to find full body references #they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless

[vellichorom]

we've waited all 8 years, to fi~na~lly bring true our fears; newcomers to watch us play, & veterans rejoice - it's our day! 🎉

#uwu art #Five Nights at Freddy's #Five Nights at Freddys #FNaF #Five Nights at Freddy's movie #FNaF movie #Five Nights at Freddys movie #Freddy Fazbear #Chica the Chicken #Bonnie the Bunny #SHOUTOUT TO EVERY BLUE MOON WHERE I DRAW FNAF #& the one time ever ( today ) i actually post it #FNAF MOVIE WAITERS MERRY CHRISTMAS #this was done WAY back before the movie even got finalized iirc but hey today's a good day to polish & post it #artstyle based off of those silly big headed keychains as well as those old dragoart tutorial things #because GOD we don't get fnaf art like that anymore #i WILL be the change i want to see in the world #ANYWAY

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

Crowned Prince Shouto who is so very much in love with you, even if it did take a while to come around after the arranged marriage occurred.

Crowned Prince Shouto whose brow creases and eyes twitch every time people in high court mock how plain you are under hushed breaths.

Crowned Prince Shouto who gets absolutely sloshed at a royal banquet to try and drown his anger when he hears a rumor going around that his marriage is unconsummated due to finding you so repulsive before storming off to find you.

Royal Advisor Izuku who rushes off to try and follow, only to hear a shriek coming from your room. When scrambling to investigate if you're okay he finds his master on his knees absolutely devouring your cunt while your receiving chamber door remains open a crack.

#and I mean the man would go at it till your crying out his name #cause he doesn't give two fucks about what it means to his decorum or repuatation #he's gotta prove a point to his people that he's lucky to have you every single day and night! #and Izuku understands the power play going on here #knows shouto ain't dumb and purposefully left that door open and purposefully took you in your receiving chamber instead of your bedroom #where there would be more privacy #the only thing now is #does Izuku stay and watch? or does he scamper away and try and forget how your face looked contorted in pleasure? #all he knows is he won't be able to meet you eye for a long while #and all I know is that those rumors stop after that night for SURE #i'm being bold on the dash today #thought has been running rampant in my mind for HOURS #so here we are #🔮.the peddler mumbles #shouto todoroki #shouto x reader #bnha shouto #shouto smut

[skitskatdacat63]

DTS S6E1 "Money Talks" - Fernando Alonso & Lance Stroll

#thought i might as well gif these #only thing in that ep worth gifing..... #cant say im not disappointed #but ill take my chances where i cna get them again #but was literally fighting in the trenches making these #gifing shows is just infinitely worse than gifing race stuff #especially since yknow this just came out today so i had to figure out how to clip it #so if its a bit choppy thats why ah #i love how fernando is such a manlet that i kinda had to crop lance out bcs i wanted to focus on nando LOL #like its so odd bcs he really doesnt look that much shorter than lance on stage in the first two #but in the last two hes literally tiny???? literally two apples tall?????? #anywyas dont know if ill gif anymore of this show. it annoys me too much to watch anymore and i dont know if theres anymore of my guys #f1 #formula 1 #fernando alonso #lance stroll #strollonso #we do a little bit of f1

[enders-redemption]

rdr fan culture is playing the game, looking at so many posts, and reading so much fanfiction that arthur’s dialect unironically starts slipping into your every day vernacular

#girl help #said ‘we was’ COMPLETELY on accident today. #i…. am cringe. but i am free #why don’t people say feller anymore. it’s such a perfect word #like sometimes that just ain’t a guy or a dude or a bro #that there’s a feller #same with the term ‘sweet on’ #it’s so cute why did people stop using that??? it’s so much better than ‘crush’ #he’s sweet on him vs he has a crush on him. one is obv superior i mean cmon #rdr2 #shouting into the void #arthur morgan #rdr2 arthur morgan #red dead redemption 2 #i live in a part of the us where yall and ain’t are common terms at least

[084392]

"Popcorning is the happy little jump that guinea pigs give when they are full of joy."

#guinea pig #my art #was thinking about the guinea pigs at the pet store next to where i work #that i wasnt able to see today bc im sick.... #i dont have any gp bc we already have 3 cats but i think theyre really cute...

[explodingstarlight]

the writers were cowards who didn’t understand my vision

#*in the background you can hear me savagely beating back art block with a stick* #i'm soooo sleepy today honk-shoo honk-shoo #aughhhhh where is my energy where did it go did i leave it in the cold? #anyway: we should have gotten lil guy with a cute bow in the turtle tot flashbacks #it's canon to me #rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rise of the tmnt #tmnt #my art #explodingstar art #e stars scribblez #rise raph #turtle tots #tmnt turtle tots #turtle tot raph #rise raphael #doodle #unpause rise of the tmnt #save rise of the tmnt #save rottmnt #snork mimimimimi #i sleeb #baby raph #i forgor to add it earlier

[icewindandboringhorror]

I know this is just a silly bad quality random screencap of a screencap that I found on facebook lol, BUT it's a succinct enough image to easily describe the concept in a quick/accessible way hopefully :

-

(and of course, feel free to elaborate in tags, etc.! (especially elaborating about other senses as well.. can you "hear" in your mind just as well as you can "see"? taste? etc.) It's an interesting topic to me, as someone who's like a 4.5 at MOST lol. I'm curious what option will be the most common :0c )

#tumblr polls #hrmm... a little poll perhaps.. about a subject I find interesting.. since this image came across my facebook today #still really not feeling that well. no longer shaking violently and such but I still feel weird and weak much more than usual #They did say my markers for like infection or inflammation were elevated but that they werent sure of the cause so hopefully #it's nothing too serious. they did also say a lot of different things can cause that thing to be higher than normal but didn't go into spec #fics of what. maybe some of them are relatively benign or something. I still havent felt much back to normal since #I got really sick that one time though. I feel fine on and off but then little bouts of feeling weird and sick happen. hrmmm #ANYWAY.. looking for small ways to be productive. such as little doodles on evil ipad or editing game videos #or posting polls or cat pictures or some other like not very labor intensive things #I WISH I COULD FOCUS on writing HHRGGhh... I need to finish my game.. it would be so freeing.. a project that's been looming #over my head for like 5 years even though througouht that 5yrs I've probably spent a total of 3 months working on it lo.. ANYWAY #I still partially really cannot beleive that people CAN see stuff in their heads. There's always part of me that's thinking like. well mayb #e everyone DOES see the same exact thing but we just describe/conceptualize it so differently that we think we're talking about #different things when we're really not. But I have been assured by people I've talked to about it that they can GENUINELY really see #stuff in their heads like as vivid as an actual picture in real life or something. And the other senses are neat too. Like for exmaple I #can hear in my head much better than I can see imagery. I still CANNOT hear vividly like as if I were listening to actual music out loud.. #but I think it's developed more than my sight. AND interesting how this varies the creative process. a friend I was talking to on the phone #said they write by literally just watching stuff play before them like a movie. where my process is COMPLETELY different. AND that affects #the content/what details we focus on as well as our individual styles of writing have differences that can be traced back to that.. hrmm

[lululeighsworld]

it was literally their moment and they just let us watch

(if you need me i'll be marinating in this for the foreseeable future)

#magneto #rogue #rogneto #rogueneto #IT WAS SO DIFFICULT TO PICK ONLY 10 IMAGES. SOSOSOSO DIFFICULT. EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SCENE WAS FUCKING SUBLIME. #thank you to the person who pointed out the bg music is ace of base 'happy nation' ;wwwwwww; SUCH A GOOD SONG FOR THIS #okay but for real never have i had a stronger 'GOD I WISH THAT WERE ME' moment #magneto can we all form a queue to dance with you romantically in the air while an audience watches............. #their body language. their HANDS. OLD MAN WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR MOUTH AND YOUR TONGUE BY HER NECK #no word of a lie ive probably watched this scene 200 times today. new comfort media. inject it directly into my veins. #my husband laughing at me as i rewind and play over and over again from the other side of the room #my fave fave FAAAAVE part of this animation is the lil pan they do #the one between mags and rogue and the lyric 'where the people understand and dream of perfect man' #THERE IS SOMETHING SO SOFT AND ROMANTIC AND ADORING ABOUT IT #disintegrates like a sopping wet piece of bread. thank you animators who worked on this scene #i feel like i am burning with the excitement of a thousand suns over this #xmen 97 #leigh's magneto hours

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

i... wrote a smol fic (っ´▽`*)っ

also!!!!! If you haven't seen it - shoutout to first ever published fic in Ninja Showdown/My Immortal Soul tags - Lustrous Red by @missadmyre !!!

#ninja showdown #my immortal soul #first ninja x chase young #rc9gn first ninja #first ninja #rc9gn #chase young #xiaolin showdown #randy cunningham 9th grade ninja #rc9gn plop plop #well i say smol fic.... but those 4k words felt very long. #i did say i was going to direct my energy into writing >.> and now look at me ive gone insane #no actually dont look at me im just gonna go cry over my 20k words of rough drafts for like dozen ideas that are now going #to haunt my every waking moment like JESUS i woke up today and literally wrote out 1k words of an idea for a modern au for those two TToTT #its literally an au where its a meet cute turned meet violent and first is randy's sorta dad and chase wants to adopt omi #not to mention a different AU where its an epic mystery adventure AAAAAAA someone heeeelppppp meeeee #also. its been a month but im still staring so intently at missadmyre's fic hoping for another crumb. like thank you sm for the food!!!! #ive literally been rereading it several times after i went insane about it on my main blog and im still slurping at it like a starved perso #Ive been collecting my ideas like a dragon but after reading that fic i was like: I WANT TO READ MORE FICS ABOUT THEM #but i dont wanna be a whiny baby&beg others and be annoying about it. So i put on my big person pants and was like f it WE R WRITINg NOW #so i dont care how bad my writing will be. we gonna be balling on those ideas and YES it doesnt make sense im just v rambly rn

[luxrayz64]

like we were so fucking robbed of seeing perez in the wake of saw vs events I want to see her getting out of the hospital and flipping tables and pointing a gun in ericksons face after being told that strahm is the lead suspect. I want to see her having a breakdown after strahms fingerprints come back dead. I want to see her hand twitching over her gun everytime she sees hoffman. I want to see her fucking losing it and desperate to avenge her friend and partner and to clear his name. I want to see the thought process that lead to her inviting known serial killer mark hoffman to the basement lab just so she could torture him psychologically before she had a legitimate excuse to shoot him. I want to see more of her and I want to see how strahms death impacted her the way the reverse impacted him.

#lindsey perez lindsey perezzzzz #we did not see nearly enough of her #she was so overshadowed by strahm in iv and then didnt even get to be a main character in vi #she showed up. psychologically tortured hoffman. and then she died (again). #realistically she's way better at hiding her insanity so I think she wouldn't lose it nearly as bad as strahm did #but I want just one little moment where she's on her own and she fucking loses it #forced to let your boss tell your best friend you're dead. he goes missing. is declared a suspect. turns up dead. no body to bury #more of her pov on these events please. please. please. #it would be so sanity inducing cause she KNEW it was hoffman. her last words to strahm was hoffmans name #and she knew him so well.... she must've known strahm went after him in the wake of her 'death'. the fucking guilt she must have felt #espeon cries #saw #i am so so sick in the head about her today

[bottombaron]

you know, i can handle a little bit of fun "Nandor is dumb" talk, but i have a net-zero tolerance for any implication that Nandor is not educated.

Nandor would have been incredibly educated in his lifetime.

even (or especially) as a soldier in the Islamic World. being a soldier was more like getting sent to boarding school that's also a military camp. they weren't just concerned with creating loyal fodder for war. they were building the next government officials, generals, accountants, advisors, etc. it was important that young men knew how to read, write, speak multiple languages, learn philosophy...sometimes even studying art and music was mandatory.

if he was nobility (and its most likely he was), take all that shit and multiply it exponentially. Nandor would have been reading Plato at the same age most people are still potty training. he would have been specifically groomed in such a way to not be just a brilliant strategist and warrior, but also diplomate and ambassador of literally the center of scientific and cultural excellence of the age.

so like yeah, he can be a big dummy sometimes, sure. but that bitch is probably more educated than any of us will ever be.

#wwdits #nandor the relentless #Nandor #what we do in the shadows #i think its obvious by how much Nandor loves to read that he grew up educated #it's one of my favorite character traits of his #anyways #this was just your local psa abt the depth of Nandor's character and intelligence #and how the medieval islamic world was like - so much more advanced than it's western counterpart it's hilarious how ppl mischaracterize it #(by hilarious i mean it makes me want to break something) #this was in my drafts lolol what did i read that made me vent this? idk #also 'islamic world' is just a term some historians use to describe a specific geographical location and historical age #kind of how 'western world' is used today #it doesn't mean it's specific to one religion or nation but the broader time and location #meaning that Al Qolindar or Persia or Ilkhanate or w/e you want to call where Nandor came from #the same expectations of education and it's vibrant social/cultural world remain an accurate image of the middle east in the medieval age #if you come from the west like me #think The Forum + The Library of Alexandria + Paris/Florence + and idk anything else u think of when u think of 'Western Excellence' #and then imagine of all of that in one place at one time and then u might get close to what the world Nandor was living in as a human