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darksigns-exe · 6 hours

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You're The Holiest Thing I Know - Nick x Noah x Laurie (OFC)

Paring: Nicholas Ruffilo x Noah Sebastian x Laurie (OFC) Warnings: Swearing, Oral Sex (M and F receiving), use of a strap on toy Word Count: 5.3k

To Know You're Mine Masterlist Masterlist

They turn around as if he’s caught them gossiping. Nick thinks that he probably has. For a second it stings, but then he remembers that these are his darlings and that it won’t be about him even if they’re giggling and so very close to each other.

He likes seeing them like this. Laurie pulls him in for a chaste little kiss, before she holds her hand out towards Nick.

“We were just talking about a little movie night? Interested?”

He doubts that was the actual topic of their conversation. He won’t question them. Whatever they have planned is theirs to surprise him with.

Nick agrees, of course. He can’t say no to them. Not when Noah is looking at him with those big brown eyes of his. He’s hunched over a little, his chin resting on Laurie’s shoulder. She looks so small with his arms wrapped around her like that.

God, he loves them so much. Seeing them like this makes Nick question how they’ve ever been without Noah. It’s not that things before weren’t good. They were. It was never bad. But now that it’s all three of them, it just feels so right.

If he could, he’d take a thousand pictures of them so that he can always keep one on him.

When he comes back into the living room after changing into something comfortable, they already have Labyrinth pulled up on the screen. He hears Laurie cursing out the microwave once again. They should probably get a new one at some point.

“There you are.” Noah pulls him in close by the waist, “Almost thought that you weren’t going to come down after all.”

Noah presses a kiss to the cheek, one hand pressed against the opposite. Nick likes that he’s picked up little things like that from Laurie. It’s endearing. They copy each other so much, and he truly does adore it.

Sometimes he feels as if he’s the new one, with how in sync they are.

Laurie joins them shortly afterwards with a bowl of popcorn. The few days off she’s had did her good. He assumes that Noah’s been taking good care of their girl too. Laurie sinks down on the other side of him, bracketing him between their bodies. He likes having them all around him like this. Nick loops his arm around Laurie’s shoulder, pulling her close against his side. Noah leans against his other side, head resting against his shoulder. He’ll slide down to curl against him soon enough. He always does.

The little bout of insecurity ebbs away slowly. The pit of it remains in his chest, though. He can’t help it sometimes. Can’t help the bitter feeling that he’s the one on the outside now. Nick knows that it’s unwarranted. He knows that they love him, that they care for him. Otherwise, they wouldn’t attach themselves to him like this. He shoves the feeling away for now, tries his best to focus on what they had right now. It’ll disappear before long. At least that’s what he hopes.

Shortly after the credits had rolled, Noah had said his good nights, kissed them both and bounded up the stairs, claiming that he still wanted to shower. Nick isn’t sure where this sudden scepticism comes from, maybe he’s just tired. The last few weeks have been busy. He’s glad that he’s basically booked out for the entire time they’re off tour, but now he wishes that he’d taken fewer appointments, spent less time away. He misses them in equal measure, and he can’t deny the bit of envy he feels when he hears Noah and Laurie talk about what they got up to while he was busy. He knows that they spent their mornings all comfy and lazy and while he’s happy that they get to have those moments, Nick can’t help himself. He doesn’t want Noah out. He just wants to have more of them.

“Nicky.” Laurie wraps her arms around his middle, “Everything okay?”

He jumps a little at the sudden contact and noise. He’d been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed her coming into the kitchen.

He nods, despite the still bitter feeling in his chest.

“Don’t lie.”

Nick feels her press her face against the side of his arm as she holds him.

“Just feeling a little on the sideline at the moment.” He admits then.

He can’t expect Laurie and Noah to communicate their needs and then do the opposite when he’s not feeling well.

Laurie’s arms tighten around him.

“Is this because of earlier? When you came home?”

“A little.”

She presses a kiss to his shoulder, “Noah asked me to help him out with something. I’m not going to tell you what, but you’ll enjoy it. Be patient, my love.”

He huffs out a breath, trying his hardest not to sound too frustrated with the whole thing. It eases the ache a little.

“Think we could go out some time? Just you and me?” he asks finally.

Nick didn’t think it was possible, but she hugs him closer still, “Of course. Whatever you want. Just say the word, and I’m all yours. Noah wants to get up early tomorrow; think he’s meeting up with some people. So you’ve got me all to yourself.”

He can’t keep his hands off her that night. Can’t stop himself from kissing every inch of her body until she’s a sighing, writhing mess beneath him. The mess in his head dissipates as he sinks into her. And when he falls asleep with her arm slung across his chest, it doesn’t feel nearly as bad as it did just a few hours ago.

A few days flow past until Noah finds an opportune morning to bring the topic up again. He waits until they’ve had breakfast and they’ve both kissed Nick goodbye. He’s bouncing with excitement when he finds her in the en suite of the big bedroom.

Noah wraps himself around her partially naked body.

“What’s with you today?”

“Do you think we could…”

“Today?” she fixes him in the mirror.

He nods eagerly, “Been thinking about it all night.”

His own enthusiasm catches him a little off guard. Going down on a guy hadn’t been something he’d thought about a lot before this. Hell, even the idea of practising the whole thing with her would have sounded completely baffling to him a year ago. But here he is, asking his girlfriend to help him get used to giving head so that he can show their boyfriend a good time. That alone would have given him an aneurysm when he’d first moved in with them.

“Alright.” her hand finds the side of his face, “Don’t worry so much.”

Noah kisses her cheek, “Thank you for doing this.”

“Of course, everything for the two of you.”

There’s a softness on her face. Noah is so glad that he has the two of them. He lets Laurie get ready in peace. He knows that she likes having a bit of time to herself in the morning. The time spent idle will do nothing for his nerves, but she’ll bring him back down quickly enough. Noah keeps himself busy with his phone, makes note of a verse that’s been floating around his head for a few days now.

He looks up when Laurie enters the bedroom again. Her skin shines with the lotions and creams she’s used. God, she’s beautiful.

“Nervous?” she asks, tossing the shirt she’d worn that night into the little basket by the bathroom door.

“Just a little.”

There’s no use denying it. Laurie will pick up on his writhing hands quickly enough. She always does.

“We can take our time with it. No need to rush into it.” Laurie sits down next to him on the bed, “Do you want to see it first?”

The hesitant little voice in the back of his mind tells him that he doesn’t. He nods in spite of it.

The little smile Laurie gives him makes Noah feel just a little bit more settled. She gives his thigh a little, reassuring squeeze, before she gets up from the bed again.

Laurie opens one of the drawers on the big commode on the opposite side of the room.

He watches her rummage through its contents for a moment before she places a mess of straps onto the top. Her search continues for a moment longer, until she rises to her feet.

“We have a smaller one, but this one is closest to Nick.”

Noah tries not to let the size scare him. He’s seen Nick before - he’s had his hands on him more than once. It’s not as if he didn’t know what he’d be getting himself into.

Laurie holds the toy out for him to take. It’s heavier than expected. It feels similar to Nick in his hand, but it’s so strangely cold.

“We’ll take it nice and slow. We have all day.”

He takes some time getting used to the feeling of the toy in his hand. Laurie watches him carefully; watches as he wraps his hand around it.

“What happens now?” he asks quietly.

Technically he knows. He’s had enough girls go down on him to know what comes now. Laurie gives him a knowing look. Noah’s watched her doing this exact thing for Nick just a few days earlier.

“You know what comes next, darling.” Laurie says calmly, “Do you want to be on your knees?”

He hesitates for a moment too long.

“We can try it with you sitting on the bed. I don’t know how well -”

“Nick will want me on my knees, right?” Noah asks quietly.

Laurie’s face falls a little, and Noah thinks that he’s said something wrong. She cradles his face so gently, thumbs drifting across the tops of his cheeks.

“He’ll want you wherever you’re most comfortable. You know that he doesn’t expect you to bend and break for him. Whatever you can give will be enough. For both of us.” One of her hands leaves his face, in order to fuss with a stray strand of his hair, “And you’ve been on your knees for me. Plenty of times.”

His face flushes a little at the memories of his face buried between her thighs. The difference between this and what he wants to do for Nick is that he knows what to do when he’s face to face with her pussy.

“I want to try.” he nods, mostly to convince himself.

Laurie pulls him in for a chaste little kiss, “We can take breaks whenever you need them.”

Noah has to admit that watching her slip on the harness is a little nerve wrecking. He doesn’t have it in him to question why they have it in the first place. The visual of Nick spread out of her burrows into his mind, but he shoves that to the back of his mind for another day. He can’t think about that right now.

He still sits on the edge of the bed, fingers nervously tangled together.

None of that helps when he really takes in the visual of Laurie with the toy dangling in front of her. It takes mere seconds for his cock to press against the fabric of his sweats.

“Kneel down for me, love?” The gentle tone of her voice breaks through his thoughts.

Noah nods absent-mindedly. Laurie reaches for his hand as he sinks down, gives it a comforting squeeze before she brings it to rest against her thigh.

“You’ve seen me do this, and you know what you like. You’ll be just fine.”

It’s a little intimidating.

Noah tries to remember what Laurie did the last time he’s seen her suck Nick's dick. Wrapping his hand around it feels foreign. There’s no movement in it, and it feels nothing like the real thing.

“Give me your hand.” Laurie speaks softly.

He does as she asks. Noah tries hard not to be shocked when she spits into his palm. It’s so oddly obscene, he’s seen her do it plenty of times, but somehow when it’s in his hand it feels mad.

“That’ll make it easier.”

And now that he thinks about it, he’d do the same thing when he gets a hand around himself.

“Go on, love.”

Noah works his hand along the silicone. It feels odd at first but when he feels her hand in his hair a little surge of bravery floods through him. He directs the tip of it towards his mouth. Noah lets his eyes fall shut before he gives a first shy lick across the head. It’s not nearly as weird as he’d thought. And after the first comes a second and a third, and soon enough he finds himself wanting more of it. Laurie’s hand in his hair coaxes him a little closer. It’s such a dizzying feeling. He feels a little clumsy. The head of the toy bumps against the roof of his mouth a few times, before he finds the right angle.

“You’re doing so good.” Her praise sends a shiver down his spine, “Not as bad as you thought it’d be, huh?”

Noah pulls off the toy.

Laurie draws in a sharp breath when he does, and he really cannot place the emotion on her face.

“Feels good.”

She pushes the loose strands of hair away from his face, “I can’t wait for Nick to see you like this.”

He looks so gorgeous like this. A part of her wants to keep him like this. Wants to keep him soft and gentle on his knees for them. She really cannot wait for Nick to feel this. Noah is so eager, so willing to please. He’ll be so good for their boy.

She watches him squirm and shift as keeps up his effort. The hand that is resting against his own thigh twitches impatiently. Laurie knows that he wants to touch himself, and she adores that he doesn’t. She hasn’t told him that he can’t, but there was also no explicit yes.

“Noah.” His eyes shoot up to meet hers immediately, “You can touch yourself if you want to.”

Relief washes over his face as his hand practically flies towards the obvious tent in his sweats. There’s a slim part of her that wishes that she could actually feel it, but it quickly vanishes in favour of a different kind of ache. Watching him touch himself like that when his face is buried between her thighs always makes her head swim, this isn’t different.

He’s grows more and more confident with every bop of his head. She doesn’t know how much more of this she can stand before her own impatience takes over. Her hand finds its way back into his hair, and Noah sighs so beautifully when her nails scrape against his skin of his scalp. The next time she looks down at him, his hand is pushed behind the waist band of his sweats. The movement is slow, but it’s noticeable enough. By now, the cotton of her underwear is soaked through and if she doesn’t get his mouth on her properly soon, she’ll lose her mind.

Laurie watches as he works himself faster, more irregular. He’s close. She can’t look away. The little sounds he makes fill her head with cotton. He sighs around the toy, before he pulls off it until just the head remains between his lips. Laurie tightens her grip on his hair, making him look up at her.

She wishes that he’d rid himself of the sweats so that she could see him properly, but he is far too occupied with his own pleasure. Noah pulls off suddenly, before his head drops against her thigh. His mouth falls open. A silent gasp that breaks from his throat and his hand stills.

Noah stays where he is, resting against her thigh while he catches his breath. She loves how he looks in these moments. That blissed out pleasure that captures his entire being is her favourite thing to look at. He blinks up at her, lips still parted and spit-slicked.

“You did so good, darling.” she speaks softly, “Think you’ve earned a treat.”

His eyes light up at that.

Laurie carefully undoes the buckles that hold the harness up against her waist. As much as this is his treat, she wants - needs - to feel him too. She’s just as desperate for it as he is, and when he surges forward to burrow his face into her, she can’t stop herself from letting out a most wanton moan.

It doesn’t matter how often he puts his mouth on her, it always feels brand new. He’s like a starved man today, burying his face against her pussy until she swears that air doesn’t reach him any more. He licks into her over and over again. It’s almost too much already. Laurie feels him moan and sigh against her. She loves how much he enjoys this. Nick is good to her, always has been. But there’s something about the absolute desperation that fills Noah whenever he’s between her thighs that makes her tummy twist and flip with pleasure.

Laurie lets herself fall back against the mattress. As hungry as he seems to be for her today, she knows that he’ll take his time. And so Laurie lets herself sink into the feeling of his mouth on her pussy and his fingers digging into her hips and thighs. She’s long-lost track of time. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she hears him whine.

By the time she feels herself unravel, Laurie swears that she is floating a good few inches above the bed. Blood rushes in her ears, obscuring all sounds besides the thumping of her heart. It almost doesn't feel real. She lets herself float in that feeling, enjoys the levity it brings her. They’re so good to her. Sometimes she wonders how she found herself with the two of them. Before she can spend much thought on the matter, a gentle hand finds the top of her thigh. She hadn’t noticed Noah climbing onto the bed to sit next to her. His eyes are soft with that gentle tiredness that always takes over his being when they’re done.

He slumps down next to her on his back. When she looks over at him, she finds herself warming even more. She loves them both so much. Sometimes it washes over her like a tidal wave, this sudden realisation that she has these wonderful boys in her life. She loves them, and in return she is loved so thoroughly that it shakes her a little when she thinks about it too much.

Laurie wraps herself around him. The thump of his heart is heavy in her ear. Her fingers graze across the skin of his chest, along the length of his ribs, until the faint trace of a giggle falls from his lips. His hand finds her back, pulling her closer against him.

“Thank you for doing this.” his voice barely breaks through the silence around them.

“Was it good?” She asks softly, not lifting her head from where it is resting against his chest.

Noah’s hand curls around the side of her body, warm and comforting, “So much better than I could have imagined.”

“I’m glad.” she replies, “Nick will lose his mind, you know?”

A laugh rumbles through his chest, “I know. Might lose it too, I think.”

Laurie presses a kiss to his sternum “If you want me there I’ll be right by your side the entire time. Nick won’t ask anything from you that you’re not willing to give.”

“I want you there.” Noah says firmly.

Another kiss to the same spot, “Then I’ll be there. You lead the way. It’s all in your hands. If you need to stop, just let us know.”

They’re all around him. Noah to his left, Laurie on his right – just the way he likes it. Really, it doesn’t matter how they’re arranged, as long as he has them both by his side. He can’t ask for more, and he doesn’t want to. They’re all he needs. It’s been a little over six months since Noah became a part of them, and it still feels so impossibly right.

It feels as if Noah slowly thaws with every day that passes. He’s becoming more and more affectionate and open with his feelings, and Nick is genuinely happy to see him grow like that.

Nick turns his attention back to the show they’re watching. They’ve watched it plenty of times, so he doesn’t mind zoning out a little.

A hand – too large to be Laurie's – wanders up his side. He almost doesn’t want to look. Noah gets so painfully shy with his affection sometimes. When his hand dips beneath the fabric of his shirt, Nick’s breath instantly hitches a little. Noah’s fingers pulse against his skin, and for a brief second he thinks that they’re about to vanish again. To his surprise, they remain where they are. And even more surprising, lips come to meet the side of his neck. Laurie seems to be blissfully unaware of what is happening on the other side of the sofa.

Nick tries to keep his breathing steady. He doesn’t want to disrupt whatever Noah is up to, doesn’t want to jostle him more than necessary.

Noah does pull back a little when Laurie sits up. He remains close, but the soft brush of his lips suddenly disappears and Nick thinks that he’s never missed anything more.

She presses a kiss to Nick’s cheek before she pushes herself up onto her feet “I’ll be right back. Don’t get too busy without me.”

Nick barely registers her looping around the back of the sofa. She leans down next to Noah. Whatever she whispers to him has him huff out a breathy laugh. As soon as Laurie has left the room, Noah is back on him.

“What’s gotten into you?” Nick finds himself asking.

Noah retreats immediately. Nick doesn’t find the panic he’s seen so often on his face, instead he finds himself faced with an expression that so far has been reserved for Laurie. There’s a hunger, a deep set desire on his face and it takes Nick a moment too long to realise that it is directed at him.

“We don’t have to -” Noah says so softly.

It’s not the same shy tone he’s grown used to. This is different. He seems more sure of himself and Nick thinks that maybe this was what he had asked Laurie to help him with.

“Just curious about what you’re up to.”

His cheeks flush at that. He looks so gorgeous with his tousled hair and pink cheeks. Nick can’t help himself. He reaches up, carefully untangles some of the strands. His hand comes to the side of Noah’s face. He gently steers him to meet his lips. It always surprises him how they fit together, how Noah moulds himself against him so easily. Nick isn’t sure when he’s moved to straddle him, his hands find Noah’s waist nevertheless.

It feels different from the other times they’ve been together. He seems to have a set course of action and Nick lets himself be dragged along without a fight.

Noah is busy leaving what will surely be a wild array of bruises on his neck when Laurie returns to the living room. Nick feels barely cognisant enough to feel her hand drifting through his hair as she passes him on her way to the far end of the sofa. Noah’s hands return to his sides. The cool touch soothes his wired nerves a little.

Whatever calm had settled in him immediately dissipates again when Noah shifts himself onto the carpet in front of him. Nick has to force himself to calm his breathing before he looks at him again.

The look of wide-eyed pleasure he’s met with shoots right through him.

“Noah.” He sighs, almost in disbelief.

With the film long forgotten, Nick relinquishes himself to the hands roaming across his thighs. They find the waistband of his sweatpants, not tugging but gently drifting across the sliver of bare skin he finds there. It’s a silent question, he waits until it is asked out loud, though.

“Can I take these off?” he sounds just a little hesitant when he asks.

Suddenly, it is Nick who finds himself at a loss for words. He nods, maybe a little too desperate. Now that Noah is so close, so willing to share his affection, he can’t wait to feel all of it. He needs to feel Noah’s hands, his lips everywhere.

“Nick.” Laurie speaks from his left, “If you want him to use his words I’m going to need you to do the same.”

“Yes. Please.”

She looks from him to Noah almost expectantly.

“Good.” Noah says, sounding surprisingly firm, “Sit up.”

In a way, Nick is glad that they’re leading the way. He pushes his hips up, allowing Noah to pull his sweats and underwear down his waist and thighs. Noah pauses for a moment. The tip of his tongue flits across his bottom lip before he pulls it between his teeth. A moment later, he taps against the side of his calf. Nick lifts his leg, so that he can remove the garments entirely.

Nick doesn’t care enough to check where his clothes disappear to, not when he feels Noah’s hands drift up his legs again. His breath catches in his throat when a kiss is pressed to the inside of his knee. Slowly as can be, Noah works his way back up his thigh with the softest kisses. His focus drifts in and out the higher up Noah reaches. He’s so close to where Nick wants him, so desperately. His other hand brushes up along the inside of his thigh. The tips of his fingers dance across the top of his shaft. Nick lets his eyes fall shut as his hand wraps around him.

He sighs with the first stroke of his hand. It’s slow – torturous, even. His head drops against the back of the sofa. It takes him embarrassingly little to get fully hard. Maybe if he’d been a little more aware of the things around him, Nick would have noticed that Noah had long stopped lavishing kisses along the insides of his thighs. Maybe he would have noticed the silent exchange between his two darlings, or Laurie slipping down onto the carpet next to Noah.

“Go on, darling.” he hears the words so faintly in the back of his consciousness that they barely register, “You did so good for me. Why don’t you show our Nicky?”

A moment of silent passes before Nick feels the hesitant brush of a tongue against the head of his cock. His eyes shoot down immediately. The sight before him takes his breath away. Both of his loves in front of him like this wasn’t something he’d expected from this evening. He watches as Laurie leans close to Noah. Nick can’t tell what she whispers to him, but it seems to be enough to give him the confidence to wrap his lips around his head.

Nick can’t tear his eyes away from the sight in front of him. He’s transfixed, spellbound as he watches Noah work his way down his cock. The younger takes his time with it, pulls back to give himself a break when he needs it. His hand remains wrapped around the parts he can’t reach yet. The rhythm he settles into is just enough to have Nick’s head reeling with it. He tries to keep his hands to himself, tries to let Noah stay in the rhythm he’s found, but his hands seem to have a mind of their own. Nick carefully pulls the loose strands of hair away from Noah’s face.

He looks up at Nick, eyes wide with pleasure, and Nick can’t stop the whine that falls from him.

“How does he feel, Nicky?” Laurie’s voice breaks through the fuzz in his head.

He finds her looking at him with that curiosity she always regards them with. Her lips are parted with bated breath, tongue dipping out to dart across her bottom lip.

“So good, god, he’s so good.” he manages to choke out between breathless sighs.

Noah moans around him, and he swears that he’s never heard him sound so lost in his own pleasure before. Nick can’t look any more. His head tips back again, eyes finding the overly expensive light fixture Laurie had insisted on. He has to think of anything but the boiling feeling in his belly.

Occasionally, it still feels a little clumsy, but the fact that Noah is doing this for him alone is enough to drive him closer and closer to the edge. He can faintly hear Laurie speaking, but the rushing of blood in his ears is too loud to let him understand any of the words.

His hand flexes where it’s still tangled into Noah’s hair, not to tear or to pull, but to ground himself in feeling. Nick isn’t sure how much more of this he can take. He’s long lost control of the moans that break free from his throat, and he barely manages to stop himself from bucking up into the warmth of Noah’s mouth.

“Don’t stop.” maybe he would have been embarrassed by how desperate he sounds, but Nick is far too close to the edge to worry about that.

Noah’s hand grips into his thigh as he presses closer, works even more of him into his mouth. It’s so familiar, but at the same time it feels so unlike Laurie.

He feels her crawl up the side of his body, before she curls against him. Her lips find the side of his neck in a soft kiss. She brings a hand to the side of his face to gently coax his head up again.

“You’re so close, aren’t you?” she asks, her words sounding just as breathless as he feels.

Nick nods, perhaps a little too eagerly.

“Are you going to cum for him?”

“Please.”

“You hear that, darling, hear how badly he wants it?”

Another moan reverberates through his spine. Laurie manages to steer him towards Noah just as Nick feels himself fall. He can’t stop himself from tugging Noah just a little deeper onto his cock as he spills into his mouth. Noah works him through it so diligently. And he swears that he can feel him swallow.

Nick opens his eyes just in time to see Laurie lean down to kiss Noah. His vision swims with the sight of them and if he hadn’t just cum, that would be enough for him to do it again. Noah follows her up onto the sofa, wriggles his way between them. A second later, Nick is pulling him in for a desperate kiss. He doesn’t have the words to express how he feels at that moment, the kiss will have to do until he’s in control of his mind again.

“Was it good?” Noah asks when Nick releases him.

He sounds so awfully insecure, but Nick doesn’t miss the glint in his eyes.

“So good.” he pulls him in for another kiss, “You did so, so good for me. Thank you.”

“I told you he’d lose it.” Laurie presses herself against Noah’s back, “Want us to take care of you now?”

He’s never seen Noah blush so quickly. He shakes his head, looking almost a little ashamed.

“Oh honey.” she says with a soft sigh, “Did you?”

Noah nods, and only now does Nick notice the damp patch at the front of the other’s shorts.

“Did you like it so much?” Nick asks, finally having regained some kind of grasp on himself.

“Been thinking about it since – since Laurie helped me.”

He’ll have to ask more questions about that later, for now he’s content with knowing that he wasn’t the only one that enjoyed all of it.

Laurie quickly ushers the both of them up into the bathroom to get cleaned up. And when they fall into bed a while later, Nick finds himself sandwiched between his loves, and he’s never felt more at peace than he does at that moment.

#fic: to know you're mine #nicholas ruffilo x noah sebastian x ofc #bad omens fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #bad omens fic #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x ofc #nicholas ruffio x ofc

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isfjmel-phleg · 2 days

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After my presentation of the Secret Garden and CEN paper, someone in the audience asked about applying the lens of CEN to other children's book from the same era. I thought about it afterward, and the best example that came to mind was Anne of Green Gables.

Anne Shirley, before her arrival at Green Gables, has experienced CEN. It has played out in a much different way for her than it does for Mary and Colin in TSG, due to differences in social class, but the principle has been the same. As an orphan raised in homes that viewed her as an inconvenience and a sort of unpaid servant, she has never had an adult in her life who prioritized her emotional well-being, who took the time to be kind to her, to listen to her, to teach her how to function in the world beyond basic survival. She is aware that no one wants her after her parents' death, and she is made to feel guilty by her caretakers for having the audacity to exist and need to be "brought up by hand." It's difficult for Anne to even talk about these experiences when Marilla asks her. She's relieved to get relating them over with, because "Evidently she did not like talking about her experiences in a world that had not wanted her."

And then there's this exchange:

“Were those women—Mrs. Thomas and Mrs. Hammond—good to you?” asked Marilla, looking at Anne out of the corner of her eye. “O-o-o-h,” faltered Anne. Her sensitive little face suddenly flushed scarlet and embarrassment sat on her brow. “Oh, they meant to be—I know they meant to be just as good and kind as possible. And when people mean to be good to you, you don’t mind very much when they’re not quite—always. They had a good deal to worry them, you know. It’s a very trying to have a drunken husband, you see; and it must be very trying to have twins three times in succession, don’t you think? But I feel sure they meant to be good to me.”

Anne has clearly been mistreated, but she's describing--and pointedly not describing--suggests less of aggression and physical harm and more of something missing, an emptiness, a lack of love--CEN. Likewise, she herself exhibits some signs that can be associated with this type of maltreatment. Difficulty with emotional regulation, attachment problems, extreme sensitivity to rejection, negativity toward herself, excessively immersing herself in imagination (a mild dissociative tendency), anxiety around social situations (regarding how to behave correctly and whether people will like her), etc.

And in a way, the entire first book of the series deals with how she finds healing from her past of CEN, through gaining the love and acceptance of her new family, of friends, of an entire community.

From what little I know of L. M. Montgomery's life, CEN was likely a factor in her own upbringing, and it repeatedly features in her novels (The Blue Castle and Jane of Lantern Hill, for instance, in particular feature heroines who have experienced CEN) with poignancy. Montgomery paints moving portraits of how badly children can be scarred by a lack of love and affirmation.

Anyway, situating Anne's backstory as rooted in CEN helped me put my finger on one of the reasons that I felt that the recent series Anne With an E--at least the first season, which is all I've seen--misunderstood the nature of Anne's past. In this version, we see flashbacks to Anne's past, in which she is being viciously bullied by other children for her talkativeness and imagination. They even go so far as to stuff a mouse into her mouth, and the show suggests that Anne has PTSD as a result of this kind of treatment.

And yeah, Anne's childhood in the book isn't great and clearly has hurt her deeply, but this interpretation felt off to me. What Anne has to say--and not say--about her past in the book suggests not that she was targeted as an object of others' aggression but that she was disregarded. No one was giving her a second thought. That's not as dramatic and shocking as vicious bullying, but it's another, more subtle, insidious kind of maltreatment, just as hurtful in its way but harder to pin down. It's easy to portray a quick, sensational scene of our protagonist being obviously, overtly, grandiosely mistreated, but how do you show the gradual piling up of years' and years' of being treated like you don't matter? All the tiny incidents that chip away at one's sense of self-worth? The building of a worldview in which you must earn love and acceptance but somehow you can never manage it and of course it's your own fault?

And I'm reminded how recent adaptations and retellings of TSG shift the narrative toward grief, which is easy to dramatize, big and impressive and full of obvious pathos. It's an easy way out of depicting a subtler kind of suffering, and the same way, Anne With an E replaces Anne's CEN with bullying and PTSD. There is a place for such stories, but Anne's isn't one of them. It's almost as if there's an inability to understand or a reluctance to depict any kind of suffering that isn't big and grand and shocking. There are many ways that people can be deeply hurt, and it doesn't always look like a major traumatic event that's easy to pinpoint. Sometimes the hurt isn't a tidal wave that engulfs in a single devastating event; it's a slow drip that erodes oneself away little by little. That's closer to what is depicted for Anne, and Montgomery's other protagonists who have experienced CEN, and it's important to recognize what exactly is going on because this sort of thing still happens every day in the real world, in many forms, and it needs to be seen and combatted. And seeing this form of maltreatment play out in literature helps us recognize it and empathize with and reach out to those whom it has impacted--or possibly even to identify it in our own histories and search for our own healing.

#I apologize if not everything is phrased perfectly - I'm just working through some initial thoughts on this #but I hope the point of what I'm trying to communicate will get through

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polyamzeal · 7 hours

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X-Men '97, Episode 5 - Writing Mature Jealousy

I want to go over episode 5 of X-Men 97, titled Remember Me, because it has a very good portrayal of how to write jealousy well and in a mature way. Now since this a polyamory blog I know everyone is just going to assume I am going to say, “All their problems would be fixed by polyamory.” As tempting as that is I am not going to do that! Well the X-Men comics have recently touched upon actual polyamory representation I don’t think it works for this incarnation in particular but I do think by looking at it through a polyamorous lens we see some very interesting stuff going on that deeply monogamous folk might miss. So I want to take this opportunity as a lesson we can all learn from about how to write portray jealousy as a more nuaniced and interesting complex emotion rather than a one-note toxic trope we often see it reduced to. Obviously spoilers below the cut.

So going to assume you have seen episodes 1-4 up until this point so not going to spend long on setups but quick setup. Rouge and Gambit have have had an unofficial relationship that everybody knows about for some time now. But as Rogue’s old flame Magneto enters the scene she has been tempted by him. Meanwhile, Cyclops just found out that the mother of his child is actually a clone of the woman he loved instead of actually her and doesn’t know when the swap happened. Plus the original and clone share memories to make it even more complicated. Now that the clone, Madelyne Pryor, has left, Cyclops is unsure how to feel about the real Jean Grey.

I thought I would be starting further along in the episode but let’s talk about Gambit’s arrival in Genosha. Right away we get Magneto subtlety exerting superiority over Gambit yet Gambit stays cool and doesn’t show that it bothers him. He makes a comment about two being better than three though to show that he doesn’t like Magneto interfering in his relationship. But the character drama really begins when Nightcrawler talks to Gambit. He urges Gambit to marry Rouge but Gambit replies about how he knows that Rogue wants somebody other than him and he basically says that he doesn’t deserve love. You see, Gambit has done a lot of shady stuff in his past and while he may act cool deep down he feels like Rogue deserves someone better than him. So we have a dichotomy between Gmabit’s brain that approves of Rogue hooking up with another man and his heart who does still want her all to himself as selfish as that is. This internal struggle makes up the entire character arc for Gambit this episode.

But let us move on the first of many big shockers of the episode! Jean Grey kissing Wolverine! As Jean is reminiscing about what to do about Cyclops and how they have been distant, Wolverine tries to give her advice as a friend. But he also slips up and lets out some of his own romantic feelings for her. Unexpectedly she returns them with a kiss! I get the vibe that a lot of fans might have cheered in celebration, “Wolverine is going to get the girl like he should unlike that jerk, Cyclops!” But as Wolverine just reminded us, he is far more mature than that. In an act of true selflessness, he instead forgives her for her cheating and tells her to instead go patch things up with Cyclops. He made it clear that he loves her but also he has been down this road before and knows that he isn’t the best man for her and if he really cares about her then she needs to be with the right man for her, Cyclops. This is actually very similar to the dichotomy Gambit suffers but with a 100 more years of experience and maturity, he commits to his brain over his heart and without the same hesitation.

We get a quick cut back to Rogue and Magneto who gives this great line, “As with Gambit, loving you makes broken men whole." But let us have them on pause for just a little bit longer.

Instead let us focus on Cyclops having a touching intimate moment with who we think is Jean but instead it is the clone, Madelyne, having a psychic affair with him from half-way across the world. Not related to the topic of this article but a nice little extra detail is that Emma Frost, another telepath, totally 'saw' everything that Madelyne was doing. But back to the affair, Jean interrupts them and a drama-bomb explodes! Cyclops admits that he loves both Jean Grey and Madelyne Pryor but again I am not resorting to “non-monogamy is the answer here.” Afterall a psychic-powered clone is involved here, more than just a twin, so not exactly normal real life situration. But it does bring up hard questions of how to choose just one. Again Cyclops’s brain is probably telling him the one he loves is Jean Grey, that seems like the right answer. But his heart loves his son and therefor loves the one who he knows is the actual mother, Madelyne. As such we have the 3rd brain-heart romance dichotomy of the episode except this one has the most uncertainty and confusion involved. On the other side with Jean, we get into the philosophical question of having memories of loving someone versus feeling love for someone. It is deep! The Phoenix urging Jean to travel the cosmos might also seem unrelatable to real-life but I think you can equate it to someone that has a job opportunity to travel and make more money but they would need to leave behind their lover, something lots of people do struggle with.

One last thing I want to address is again I am sure some fans are extra mad at Jean in this scene. She just cheated on Cyclops and now she is mad at Cyclops for cheating on her. This level of hypocrisy might rub me people extra rough. But I want to ask this question, would she have been more or less mad at Cyclops’s cheating if she did not just cheat herself first? I think either has its arguments but I honestly think less. She knows she cheated and messed up so now she is putting in effort to mend and fix that. Just to see that Cyclops is also cheating but not repenting like she did. This anger she is taking out on him for cheating is amplified by her own guilt and shame for having just cheated as well. Maybe even more fueled by being rejected by Wolverine as well. It is spicey but also very realistic.

Back to Rogue and Gambit. How is Gambit going to find about Rogue’s relationship with Magneto? In what way will he discover them in the act and cause drama? Actually, she comes right out and confesses to him. I love them avoiding that trope and instead giving us a brutally honest heart-wrenching confession scene instead. And again, Gambit does not react like a 13-year child, instead he calmly asks if she is going to accept it. Explains how he has respected her wishes to not be official but this still hurts. Rogue unloads her heart upon him explaining her unmet needs, the physical incompatibility they have together. And we are given the very realistic question of physical needs versus non-physical needs. Are physical needs a deal-breaker in a relationship? The scene concludes with Gambit being as smooth as always by saying he bets Magneto will break her heart but until then he will respect just being friends with her and givers her permission to pursue Magneto. He maturely wants what is best for her even though it hurts him.

As we transition to the Gala itself we see Rogue living it up in her full splendor! Magneto joins her and they make a big spectacle of the two touching which Gambit sees. This is another scene I have seen some people have very weird takes on Gambit’s emotions here. Many read anger and jealousy as I am sure many in the same shoes would feel. But I see more of the dichotomy at war again. He wants best for her and sees outright that Magneto can give her something he can’t. He even says as much to Madelyn right beforehand. He is happy for her but it still hurts and is just too much hurt for him to handle so he has to step away to protect his own feelings out of respect for Rogue.

By the way, the animation on Rogue is beautiful here! There is so much visual storytelling going on with her feelings that shown more than told. We get the sense that she really wants this and indulges in it to the fullest. But there are still doubts in the back of her mind. Is it all for real or just a performance that she has bought into. She enjoys it and had fun but decides that she actually does want Gambit more.

Rightful so the rest of the episode from this point on does not have much time for romantic drama. What I do really like is we get to see the Gambit-Rogue-Magneto love triangle function under an emergency. A terrorist attack happens and they all put on their work face, because this is the work that they handle. Any romantic squabbles are set aside. Magneto asks Gambit the situation without any of previous boosting over him or even hard feelings that Rogue just admitted to choosing him. And then immediately they form a plan as a team to take care of the threat like they always would. They are professionals. We do get a scene of Rogue trying to save Magneto and Gambit needing to hold her back. Then Magneto protects not just Rogue but both of them as he sacrifices himself. Again understanding that feelings can’t get involved here, they have a duty to protect people.

Some people find the final scene extra tragic because Gambit died thinking Rogue choose Magneto over him. But I don’t think it matters. He would have sacrificed himself to save her regardless of what she choose.

To summarize they are some many scenes in this episode where I expected characters to follow troupes and throw jealousy-fueled temper tantrums. Instead it was one of the most refreshingly mature portrayals of adult jealousy I have seen in any show. No, the answer is not “Polyamory would have fixed all of this.” But instead we get, “Toxic monogamy is not the only way to write a story.” It makes the characters so much more relatable and enjoyable to watch just to see them not drown in toxic monogamy and petty jealousy. I hope more stories can learn from these examples.

#x men 97 #jealousy #non-monogamy #writting #Storytelling

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dittolicous · 22 hours

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part 5 of buring rage au, though its more a group of thoughts (last part here)

- the strawhats have multiple encounters with stealth black and the other vinsmokes before sanji burns it all down, none of which ever end happily. the strawhats were hopeful going in the first time, right up until stealth black directed an attack at robin and chopper, which in turn causes zoro to lash out despite luffys commands not to

- they never notice that he only ever sends attacks in the girls direction, never actually making direct, in your face attacks. tbf, sanji doesn't realize hes doing it either. subconsciously hes able to distance himself from the attack when its a broad stroke attack. this is how he handles attacking other kingdoms and communities as well, trying to disassociate the damage with his attack in particular. if they can dodge, its fine...

- this opinion doesnt hold up in the long run, but it only causes him to get worse, lashing out harder and harder

- similarly, his run ins with the strawhats start out almost fun, as they actually gave him echoes of other feelings beyond anger. but this doesn't last as he learns more of the truth and sees how the strawhats keep holding back. they dont hold up to the image hes been building in his mind. and he feels theyre letting their own emotions blind them from the truth that he and the others need to be taken out. and in turn, this makes him even madder because they have everything at their fingertips and they STILL cant make the right choice, whereas he had to sneak and dig out the truth, just trying to make sense if his existence.

- the exception, to a point, is zoro. who appears to be up holding the promise he made in wano, even if sanji cant remember it. but thats the key word, appears. because despite going all out, he can never make killing blows. he tries to deny it, tries to stick to his mind over heart methods, but its rough.

- it doesnt help that hes going directly against luffys orders, causing discord amongst the crew. they only avoid a repeat of water 7 because zoro refuses to fight luffy when he lashes out over attacking sanji. he knows hes technically in the wrong, but he made a promise. he doesn't help his case by never telling the others, but he figures it wouldn’t change their opinion.

- on luffys end, hes barely holding it together. he had front row seats when sanji was initially killed and it triggered him so badly that he froze up (reminding him of aces death), allowing his body to fall into the ocean. as far as hes concerned, everything going forward is his fault as the captain. he does lash out when zoro doesnt stand down but usopp is able to get him to pull back, recalling how things went at water 7, and how he doesnt want to lose zoro either, no matter how badly his choice hurts him.

- the only thing keeping zoro from leaving the crew is luffys refusal to accept it. zoro offered after stating he wouldnt back down, luffy denied it flat out.

- but it doesnt really solve anything either. they still dont agree and know how every encounter could turn into a three way battle, which is just counterproductive.

- robin in particular is actually extremely upset with zoro. he expected nami to be angry, which she is, but robin comes in like a bat out of hell at him. outside of ennies lobby, the others never saw her lose her cool so bad. this is only because shes able to read both sides so well, seeing through sanjis facade (in a way that he himself cant even see) and how zoro is giving up on him. she basically reads him for filth, leaves zoro unsteady, and storms off.

- it feels like a betrayal of everything they did for her, in her opinion, going back on the people they were. she doesnt care if sanji hurts her, not when hes hurting so much worse. she knows that this would upset him were he in his right mind, but she figures theyll handle that when hes safely back with them

- this leaves zoro more shaken then he cares to admit, desperate to deny his inability to uphold his side of the promise. meditating hasnt been helping much lately, either, unable to fully calm his thoughts with the whole crew being so shaken up and his struggle between the promise, the desires of the crew, and the desires he himself has been pushing down, refusing to acknowledge. hes afraid of what follows if he does...

- at the end of the day, he doesnt know what *he* wants anymore. he hasnt been this lost since kuina passed away...

- as such, its extremely tense on the sunny

- it doesnt help that theyre all barely eating. entering the galley is hard, especially after the revelation of what happened to sanji. brook and jimbe are the ones who most often handle cooking meals, thanks to both having handled such loss in the past. which isnt to say theyre ok now, theg really arent, but theyrs keeping it together because the others need them to.

- luffy is a concern as he, in particular, has been forgoing eating. his appetite is in shambles. this in turn impacts his fighting, as hes not in tip top form to handle any big battles. jimbe and chopper attempt to use this reasoning to get him to eat more, but its success varies

- nami is conflicted, oscillating back and forth between agreeing with either zoro or luffy. being in line from an attack by sanji shook her up a great deal. her emotions keep blurring between anger, sorrow, and fear. she doesnt want to lose anyone else and shes afraid of them attempting to bring him back, just to realize their sanji is gone forever.

- usopp is firmly on luffys side, though he does get namis concern and is kinda right therd with her on how terrifying the concept is. but hes refusing to give up until its been proven 100% without a doubt that sanji cant be saved. he couldn't be there during wci, so he'll give everything now - though he could do with less flaming kicks to the head

- robin at one point was able to get a fingernail from sanji during a fight (dont question her, she has her ways) and has it made into vevire card to better track him

- it was extremely unnerving to watch it ignite the second it was completed... at the very least, its not burning *fast* but a clock is clearly ticking...

#one piece #blackleg sanji #sanji #roronoa zoro #monkey d. luffy #straw hat pirates #ditto rambles

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foldingfittedsheets · 4 months

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Buckle up for another unhinged story time. Now, as I’ve said before, I used to work at a sex shop. At one point I had three roommates and we all worked the same dildo slinging retail job and lived together. It was extremely sitcom.

Now, as you’d imagine, living with three other people who also talked about sex toys all day created a microcosm of people who were all extremely comfortable around sex toys and related topics. No one left dirty toys laying around but seeing things left in showers or showing off a new purchase was just a Tuesday.

After some life upheavals I ended up living with one of those roommates again, just me and her. For the sake of this story let’s call her Betty. Betty and I shared a two bedroom, and the layout was all the common spaces were an open floor plan and then one hallway formed a T, with my room and bathroom to the left and Betty’s to the right.

Well, one day my cousin calls me up. He’s coming to town for a visit and I offer to put up him, his wife, and their more… sheltered friend. (Unbeknownst to me there was a full Briefing for this girl before she met me so that I didn’t overwhelm her with my blasé attitudes towards- well, most things).

They drove in from two states over and it was a long drive. I had to work and couldn’t greet them or spend the first day together. So I told them to come grab my key so they could all shower off and settle in before me.

I arrived home later that night and found the atmosphere a little awkward at first. Things quickly warmed up and I charmed their friend, impressing my cousin with my immaculate respect for personal comfort levels. We had a lovely evening. By the time we all said goodnight I’d dismissed the initial tension as being tired after a long drive.

The next day we all decided to go to the zoo. I’m a morning shower person, but I let them go first while I made breakfast. After breakfast it was my turn and I hopped in the shower.

Midway through my eyes fixed on it. A little pink sex toy, sitting brazenly on the rim of the tub. Oh no, I thought. This was why things had been awkward yesterday! I left out a personal object because I’d literally forgotten to ever put them away by that point.

What I felt wasn’t embarrassment per se, because that emotion had been utterly eradicated by that point. Rather it was a deep shame that I’d leave out something that might make a guest feel uncomfortable. They told me their friend was sheltered and I had left out a sex toy, it was the epitome of rudeness!

I rejoined everyone and said, “I am so sorry! I didn’t realize I’d left that in the shower, that was so rude of me!”

My guests all exchanged a Look. I looked from my cousin to his wife, she glanced toward their friend, and their friend looked at my cousin. No one would look at me.

“Well…” my cousin finally said, “you didn’t tell us which room was yours yesterday.”

I blinked in confusion, Betty’s room and bathroom were basically just like mine.

“When we got here,” his wife continued, “we went to the other side first. In Betty’s bathroom.”

Reader, Betty’s bathroom.

Had been absolutely covered in dildos. Sex toys of all shapes and sizes covered every flat surface, the tub rim, the sink, the shelves. Wall to wall sex toys. Apparently Betty was doing a spring cleaning and had left her entire extensive collection out to air dry.

These three weary travelers had opened a door to the dildo dimension and had no idea how to react. To this day I have no idea what context clues they used to figure out Betty’s room from mine.

But when I’d come home they were lost in the sex toy shell shock, presumably wondering how they could ever talk about it with someone who felt it was okay to leave out every sex toy they own when expecting company in some kind of bizarre power play.

By the time they finished telling me about this we were all laughing so hard we were in tears.

“When we saw your bathroom with one little pink toy it was so discreet we didn’t even care!” They told me.

After my cousin and his crew had gone on their way I finally told Betty the whole story. She listened with eyes growing wider and wider and finally burst out, “That’s why they were so weird when I got home!!”

#ramblies #funny #story #writing #nsft #ffs foibles

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friendshiptothemax · 1 year

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I was on a plane this weekend, and I was chatting with the woman sitting next to me about an upcoming writer’s strike. “Do you really think you’re mistreated?” she asked me.

That’s not the issue at stake here. Let me tell you a little something about “minirooms.”

Minirooms are a way of television writing that is becoming more common. Basically, the studio will hire a small group of writers, 3-6 or so, and employ them for just a few weeks. In those few weeks (six weeks seem to be common), they have to hurriedly figure out as much about the show as they can -- characters, plots, outlines for episodes. Then at the end of the six weeks, all the writers are fired except for the showrunner, who has to write the entire series themselves based on the outlines.

This is not a widespread practice, but it has become more common over the past couple of years. Studios like it because instead of paying for a full room for the full length of the show, they just pay a handful of writers for a fraction of the show. It’s not a huge problem now, but the WGA only gets the chance to make rules every three years -- if we let this go for another three years and it becomes the norm? That would be DEVASTATING for the tv writing profession.

Do I feel like I’m mistreated? No. I LOVE my job! But in a world of minirooms, there is no place for someone like me -- a mid-level writer who makes a decent living working on someone else’s show (I’d like to be a showrunner someday, but for now I feel like I still have a lot to learn, and my husband and I are trying to start a family so I like not being support rather than the leader for now). In a miniroom, there are only two levels -- the handful of glorified idea people who are already scrambling to find their next show because you can’t make a decent living off of one six-week job (and since there are fewer people per room, there are fewer jobs overall, even at the six-week amount), and the overworked, stressed as fuck showrunner who is going to have to write the entire thing themselves. Besides being bad for me making a living, I also just think it’s plain bad for television as an art form -- what I like about TV is how adaptable it is, how a whole group of people come together to tell a story better than what any of them could do on their own. Plus the showrunner can’t do their best work under all of that pressure, episode after episode, back to back. Minirooms just...fucking suck.

The WGA is proposing two things to fix this -- a rule that writers have to be employed for the entire show, and a rule tying the number of writers in the room to the number of episodes you have per season. I don’t think it’s unreasonable. It’s the way shows have run since the advent of television. It’s only in the last couple of years that this has become a new thing. It’s exploitative. It squeezes out everyone except showrunners and people who have the financial means to work only a few months a year. It makes television worse. And that is the issue in this strike that means everything to me, and that is why I voted yes on the strike authorization vote.

#writer's strike #wga #television writing

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sordidmusings · 6 months

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Cuddling Headcanons - Straw Hats and the Three Unwise Men

A/N: Just mulling over something sweet and something to reference back to for my own use in future writings. I just wanna give all of them some love tbh I am a slut for affection

Includes! Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Luffy, Usopp, Mihawk, Buggy, and Shanks

Warnings: gn!reader, all fluff, opla leaning for the most part but I think it can fit both pretty well, an innuendo or two

Part 2 (drabbles for each character) here!

Enjoy some guided daydreams!

Zoro

Partial touches during naps were how he started interacting with your personal space but your lap no longer belongs to you it is now his pillow

Honestly, basically any of you is a pillow whenever he decides - I don't care if you are significantly shorter than him he will find a way to fall asleep on your shoulder

For more contact, you need to be the one to cling to him but he does absolutely need to be touching you at least a bit

Once he gets used to it he’ll give you a look any time you’re depriving him of his daily intake of physical affection (the sass king will always get his tribute)

He absolutely melts like a cat in the sun if you massage at any of his muscles, could be anything as much as an evening dedicated to working out every knot he has or as simple as putting intentional pressure behind your thumb as it circles and drags along his skin

He can get nervous about kissing you when it’s not on the lips - something about it feels more vulnerable to him somehow - so if he does venture to kiss your cheek or head or shoulder or hand please reassure him with a smile or your own kisses or a firm squeeze

He gets better about being seen hugging/holding you eventually, but will never get comfortable with giving more than pecks on the cheek or forehead around the others. Maaaaaaybe the corner of your lips if he’s feeling ~spicy~

Sanji

Back hugs, back hugs, back hugs-

He’s always making sure that the two of you brush hands or arms when near each other, even after you two establish a relationship it will always give him tingles

Likes to be very intertwined when you cuddle - if he can somehow wrap around you more then he absolutely will

He is The Best at tracing shapes gently on your skin, just like with brushing hands he never tires of it because, wow, he gets to touch you! He still can’t believe it sometimes

Very good at making you feel cherished when he holds you because of the way he always seems to take his time and ease into it and constantly caress you not to say that there’s never a time he’s hurried and ravenous

It also helps that he’s always whispering sweet nothings to you about how wonderful you are, how beautiful and precious and lovely and kind and capable and special

When he wants to trap you while cuddling, he wraps his legs around you and uses their absurd strength for evil

He will melt if you ever do the same to him and he will happily be at your whims to cuddle until you've decided it's enough, all of you could be under attack but he is staying right where you want until you decide that he needs to move

Loooooves showering you with sweet little kisses anytime you're cuddling

He can sometimes get carried away with pda because he forgets that there’s anyone else around whoops

Nami

She has her legs on your lap always - sometimes while she's laying/leaning back, sometimes with one leg hooked over one of yours, sometimes basically sitting on your lap

She likes to be the one that is held and feels most comfortable with her face snuggled into something (please nurture her and that scared, lonely inner child)

Enjoys brushing the tip of her nose across you, especially across your cheek or neck or the tip of your own nose

She likes to hook your arms together whether you’re standing next to each other during a convo or you’re walking or she’s sitting next to you, she just loves the casual contact and how she can use it to be playful and pull you around or use it to stay close and let others know that both of you are taken do not even think about it keep moving along dude

She’s very weak to hugs where you pick her up a few inches off the ground for a second, they send her heart racing (bonus points if you’re noticeably taller or shorter than her and do this)

She’s also weak for words of affirmation, especially when you speak them to her while you hold each other in the quiet hours of night

For some reason literally being on your lap around others is fine but if you give her a kiss to the temple while that's happening? Suddenly it's Too Much, both in how sweet it is and also because she’s being perceived while it's happening

Luffy

Any/all contact is being had whenever he’s with you

If he’s on the floor next to you then your calf is now his teddy bear, if you’re on the floor near him he’ll snatched your torso with his legs, if you’re sat near him he’s wrapping both arms around one of yours to snuggle it

One of his favorites is leaning your backs against each other, he feels really supported and the way you occasionally lean and twist your head back to nuzzle his or give him a quick kiss makes him smile with the utmost joy

He will carry and move you around in the strangest ways - fireman carry, one arm around your waist while you’re upside down, your knees hooked over his shoulders while the rest of you hangs down, you trying to koala to his side, one time you were curled completely around his waist like a pool floaty - no one understands why you two can’t be normal

Likes to be the one to hold you so he can fidget when he needs without feeling like he has to unlatch you first, this is especially when you two are laid down and/or going to be cuddling together for awhile

PDA doesn’t bother him at all, he doesn’t give a fuck if anyone sees you snuggled up together, doesn’t even occur to him that he should care

His playfulness will come out often with dramatic “mwah!” kisses, nipping at you, blowing raspberries on your skin, and the occasional tickling

Usopp

It’s necessary for him to have his arms wrapped around you some way

Likes to be the big spoon to feel like he’s acting as armor and protecting you, it just hits the right place in his brain that has him feeling Big and Strong in the best way

He loves when you plant a kiss on his chest, especially if you aim one directly over his heart (that is totally at a normal rate plz don’t check)

He likes to play with your hair and/or massage your neck and scalp

Big into making sure wherever the two of you are cuddling is comfy, has many extra blankets and a selection of pillows by size and firmness

Always down to cuddle but feels more comfortable if you initiate first, especially when it’s a new thing between the two of you

He simultaneously loves pda and is nervous about pda but that nervousness is absolutely gone when he’s drunk or even pretty buzzed

Good at incorporating his head into hugs - hooking his jaw on your shoulder or on top of your head, leaning his temple gently into the side of your head, bumping you softly with his forehead

Need background noise while you go to sleep? He’s more than happy to hold you and turn on storyteller mode. Honestly, it’s one of his favorite things to do and he cherishes that time together

When it’s bedtime stories he’s telling, his voice is so low and soothing

Mihawk

This man needs to have his hands holding something on you (your hand, your shoulder, your waist, your thigh, your back, your ass lol),

He likes to feel wrapped around you like hes hoarding you to himself, this leads to him enjoying you laying on his chest, having all of your weight on him has him feel like he’s fully possessing you

Will definitely kiss the top of your head/your temple/your forehead/basically whatever his lips are near, not a consistent bout of them, more one deliberate peck when the need strikes him (it’s also his customary goodnight to you)

Like the other swordsman, he will give you a look if you miss a habitual touch (especially if it’s the way you usually ran a hand through his hair with a kiss to the forehead before you left the castle, that was non-negotiable it had to happen), his stare however is more the 1000 yard variety and those bright yellow eyes will bore a hole through you until you understand what you did wrong

Something about this man makes me feel his temp runs hot but not in a way that bothers him, like he doesn’t feel hot or overheated but when you touch him the difference between you two is noticeable

It’s a damn good thing that he reciprocates your physical affection, even if 70% it’s just an arm coming around you, because his stony expression makes it easy to assume that your touches are unwanted

This type of limited response is mostly for more casual cuddling like hugs or sitting next to each other because when you’re laying together his face is always soft and he’s much greedier to be pressing into you

Okay with some pda like quick and passing touches including kisses, but not a fan of anything more intimate when others can see

Buggy

The Chairrrrrr, as you’ve told him it’s circUS so both of you need to be on the throne (If he’s wanting to look extra powerful or intimidating you have no problem sitting at his feet and holding him like a heroine on a 70s fantasy novel)

He’s a big fan of any possessive gestures - arm around shoulders, back hugs, pulling you to wrap your arms around him, having you sit in his lap

He’s a cuddle switch for sure because sometimes he needs to hold you to remind himself that you’re his and sometimes he needs to feel held

Very fragile for gentle affection - please draw shapes on this man’s back, play with his hair and massage his scalp, give him head kisses, hand kisses, wrist kisses

Feels like his heart will explode if you nuzzle your face into him whether its into his chest or the side of his head or good lord his pALM (He may have literally fallen apart the first time you did that and if you’re ever in the mood for some Entertainment bring it up)

He is actually made for cuddling because if his arm is uncomfortable to lay on or starting to fall asleep? He can detach it and now it’s your stuffed animal. This can extend to literally any part of him that either of you feels is getting in the way of the perfect cuddle

Need to feel needed? The way he’ll pull you into him and hold you like you’re going to disappear will let you know he needs you

Absolutely LIVES for pda, he gets to show you off to everyone and have your gorgeous self make him shine brighter in the spotlight? Nothing could be better

Shanks

Sharing his space often means one of you sitting between the others legs, whether one is on the floor in front of the other’s seat or y’all are laying down together with one settled further down the bed, this often leads to you laying your head on the hip or stomach or upper thigh of the other

He mostly likes to be on his back or stomach and pretty splayed out, so you’ve adjusted yourself to gripping to him after he’s taken over the bed

It always makes him soft to think about you always choosing to cling to him without him having to hold you there, it really drives home that he’s something you actively want

Will grope you, sometimes sexually, but he also just likes the feeling of grabbing you, it’s somewhat of a manifestation of cute aggression

He’s a sucker for getting his neck/shoulders/upper back rubbed while cuddling (which is a pain if he’s decided to be on his back) and he is not above bargaining for it or prodding you like an indignant pet each time you stop (very good puppy eyes), this is one of his favorite perks of having you in his lap

He’s another one to not care about being seen by others but not because it hasn’t occurred to him (like Luffy) but because anyone judging him is WAY less important than getting more affection from you

His heart gets really tender when you lay with him and massage the stump of his arm and the shoulder above it because it helps with the phantom pains when he has them, it also help with the tension from using the muscles on that side to compensate, and it reminds him how the only thing about his arm that bothers you is that it hurts him

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earthtooz · 3 months

Text

x : CALL ME BACK : *+ﾟ

in which: ratio has been waiting for your call since you left.

warnings: FLUFF i promise, 1.6k wc, gn!reader, ratio being horribly in love and pining so badly, reader works as a space researcher, reader is a sunshine so this is basically sunshine x grump/asshole, written during his first release/ v1.6.

a/n: the way i wrote the synopsis made it sound like it was sad. maybe i'll write an angst version of the same prompt. anyways i listened to 'she calls me back' by noah kahan on loop when writing this, enjoy!

Dr. Ratio is not happy with you.

It has been three weeks and three days since he last received any sort of notification from you, any sort of indication that you were healthy and alive whilst traversing the universe. Typically, you would send daily updates of how your exploration was progressing, or new intergalactic discoveries of yours, regardless of whether or not he cared.

(He cares. He cares more than his indifferent texts lead on. There’s a reason he always responds, after all, and it’s not just because you’ve been friends for almost two decades now.

To him, your constant messages and calls told him that you were thinking of him, and the more space he occupies in your mind, the happier he is; that is a theory he discovered years ago.

He happily listens to all of your rambles. He'll listen whilst in the middle of grading various papers or writing one of his own, he'll listen whilst eating, he'll listen to you as long as you reach out.

So where are the messages he was waiting for?)

Today is the arranged day for you to return from your new mission. Ratio has been counting down the days since he first marked it on his large desk calender, your return being the first event on his list.

He is undeniably excited to see you, yet he feels petty enough to not make the trip down and welcome you by the docks, even if your ship’s landing zone is just outside the University.

It’s irrational of him to hold your inactivity against you. Perhaps you just encountered an inconvenience and lost your phone, or wherever you are does not have good reception to send a text halfway across the galaxy. He understands that your safety comes first on these missions, but he can’t help but feel neglected, and he curses the fragility of his ego for making him this way.

The clock strikes another hour. From his office, Ratio cannot see the ships and come and go, but his ‘scholarly instincts’ are telling him that you are on your way.

Not even ten minutes later, a figure comes barrelling into his office.

“There he is!” You exclaim exuberantly. It seems that the length of the mission did not erode your enthusiasm, and he’s grateful that it is as contagious as he remembers. “And here I was wondering where you were, did you dig your nose too deep in those encyclopaedias you love to memorise?”

You’re still in your research gear, hips and legs buckled to the brim with various equipment that are necessary to your work, and his heart beats guiltily at the sight.

You came to see him as soon as you landed. He was your first destination after a tiring three and a half weeks away from home, not the comfort of your home or bed or shower; him.

“Ha. Ha.” The purple-haired laughs dryly, getting up from his chair and rounding his desk. “Good to see you still alive.”

“What’s with the lack of energy? Didn’t you miss me, Veritas?”

He did. More than you could ever imagine. “Of course I did.”

Opening his arms for a hug, you all but run into his embrace, throwing your arms and anchoring yourself to the sturdiness of his torso. After not seeing you for so long, your familiar frame and warmth provides nothing but comfort.

“Welcome home,” Ratio murmurs into your hairline.

Your arms squeeze him tighter. “Good to be back.”

After a few beats of silence, you step away from him and he reluctantly detaches himself from you.

“I got you something,” you say whilst setting down your bag. Pulling out a suitcase, the purple-haired looks at you inquisitively. “It’s a chess board! I got you a new one to add to your collection!”

Ratio doesn’t bother correcting you that his ‘collection’ only has seven boards at most, but that does not negate his gratitude.

Even whilst away, you thought of him, and that is a great victory.

“Thank you. We can play together, sometime,” he proposes.

“Oh, please. I could never beat you.”

“Giving up before you even start? That does not sound like the Y/n I know.”

“It’s not ‘giving up’, it’s picking my battles wisely. I could never best you in a game of chess, or any competition of intellect,” you laugh as if the idea itself was ridiculous.

“You shouldn’t discredit yourself based on your own assumptions. I think you make a very capable opponent.”

“I know your tricks, Veritas. Buttering me up just so you can chip at my armour and knock me down when I’m weak, have you no shame?” Your voice is light, with an air of joviality to it, and the purple-haired is enchanted.

It seems that you don’t know him as well as you think. He finds no shame in hogging as much of your time as possible, even if it is through a game of chess that he will beat you at. He also hopes that you don’t know him well enough to hear the subtle desperation in his voice when he enquires if you’ll be leaving for another mission soon.

“I don’t believe so,” you tell him nonchalantly. “I’ll be stationed here for about two months. They’re expecting a detailed, twenty-page length report from me, so I guess I’ll be locked in my study until that’s complete.”

Ratio clicks his tongue. “Pity.”

(It’s not a pity. He gets to spend two months with you in compensation for the month that he was robbed of.)

“Not to sound self-absorbed, but why weren’t you there are the dock to pick me up?” You ask.

“Were you disappointed?”

“A little. You’re always the first face I see whenever I come home. It was jarring to not see you amongst the crowd.”

Jealousy slashes at his chest, and he turns away from you to hide his sour expression. “I apologise, I must have lost track of the days.”

“You’re Doctor Veritas Ratio. According to your crazy schedules, there are 72 hours instead of 24 in a standard day, you never lose track.”

Truth is a fascinating thing. By nature, it is black and white, but it’s perception is what traps fools. Humans have strived to discover an uncontested truth for as long as they have existed, but as long as opinions exist, it will constantly be revised and put together again, ambiguity heavy in the air that surrounds it.

You, however, are even more fascinating with the way you can deconstruct him so easily.

“If you must know, I was… upset with you because you were not messaging me.”

The silence that follows is deafening.

Your laughter is even more so.

Hubris can really kill a man. Ratio does not need to consult the texts of ancient philosophers to confirm that.

“Really?” You choke out in between cackles. “I didn’t think such menial things mattered to you!”

“Normally, they don’t.”

“So, I’m a special case then?”

“I shouldn’t need to spell it out for you.”

“Veritas!” You coo, placing your hands on either sides of his face. “I am so flattered!”

Dr. Ratio is a renowned scholar with eight doctorate degrees. The mere mention of his name will inspire hundreds, if not, thousands, of people who have the faintest lust for academia, spreading marvel and fear amongst students and professors alike. His achievements will be engraved and celebrated by the university for centuries to come, and his classes are so notoriously hard that the passing rate is 3%.

And yet, here he is, reduced to putty in your hands.

Perhaps that is who he is at his core. Rid from him the alabaster head, the codex, and pride, you’ll be left with a man who is ardently in love with his best friend.

“Stop it, this is ridiculous!” He mutters, hoping to salvage his image at least a little.

You listen to his demands, separating from him with a hearty laugh. “So you really do like me, that’s nice to know.”

(It is far beyond ‘like’ now. Can you come back and hold his face again?)

“I like you when you’re quiet.”

“Clearly not if you loathed my virtual silence! Which, by the way, was caused because the planet I was on had horrible reception. I really need to switch cell providers, mine doesn’t even reach to half way across the galaxy, apparently.”

“Well. I am glad you survived the three weeks without reception, it must have been a formidable challenge for you.”

“Were you worried for me?”

Of course he was. Whilst you freely roam the expansiveness of the universe, the only thing that anchors him to you across the span of light years is a message. “You should stop asking questions you know the answer to.”

“Boo, you’re no fun.” You lean down to grab the bags that lay at your feet, swinging them over one shoulder. Do you have to leave so soon? “Well, I better get going. I’m aching for a shower and a nap. Now that I have proper data and Wifi, rest assured that I will be texting you soon.”

“Cannot wait.”

“Goodbye, Veritas! I shall see you soon!”

‘Soon’ is a relative time frame. He can only hope that you won’t keep him waiting again.

The door clicks shut behind you, and not even five seconds later, his phone buzzes with a call.

“Sorry!” Your voice greets from the other end of the line. “Was just testing if my reception actually worked.”

“There is a reason your day job is a Space Researcher and not a comedian.”

“Can’t you at least laugh? Let’s grab dinner tomorrow at half past six, make yourself free, Veritas!”

You hang up before he can even get a word in, and he’s left to stare at the blank screen of his phone with an idiotic smile.

Everything’s alright when you call him back.

#earthtooz: honkai star rail #dr ratio x reader #veritas ratio x reader #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #ratio x reader #dr ratio fluff #dr. ratio x reader #tumblr please show this in the tags

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deadghosy · 2 months

Note

Hey!! I have a request! Could you do the hazbin hotel characters and fem! CatNap reader! I know CatNap is a boy but I would like to see what kind of head canons they would have for a female version of CatNap. Also maybe reader would love chasing things around since cats do that?

HAZBIN HOTEL X FEM CATNAP!READER HEADCANNONS

prompt: you are female resident who helps sinners with insomnia

OKAY FIRST OFF! YOU DEFINITELY STILL SMELL LIKE VANILLA AND LAVENDER!🦆 NO ONE CAN ARGUE ABOUT THIS TO ME 😭

What I headcannon is kinda cartoony as reader has her legs cross as she just nods listening to a sinner’s sleep problem as she is just wearing glasses and a vest. Dead ass she just knocks them out like. “Problem solved!”

Charlie made you a room so residents and sinners could come in and have you help them sleep. Like either you knock them out and walk away. Or you actually stop being a lazy mofo and help them personally.

I headcannon based on the fluffy plush bodies that reader is still flat like the male catnap, cause obviously she doesn’t have a chest just like the plush body of Bobby bearhug. That’s basically how I imagine reader’s body is with her being like a little more skinny but definitely having trouble with people asking what her gender is.

“I’m a fucking cat, that’s what I am.” Is what reader would say irritated as it’s obvious in her feminine/decent voice.

Sassy catnap!reader is a goal as you would literally just do shit for shits and giggles😭✨🔥

Headcannon you have a purple vest with a white dress shirt and a black or white skirt with a few moon patterns on it while the color of your dress shirt as a moon pendent💗🦆

You straight up knocked a person out with your red smoke because they had sexualized you during the session and all you had to say was. “Oh really? Count to three…” “count to wh-” immediate knocked out as they fell face first from the chair as you smile with a full grin.

You used your claws to cut open a piece of candy for nifty as she hugs you and walked away happy. You love helping….

Alastor ran from you as you were chasing after him like a predator because he said he doesn’t need sleep…okay so imagine this….

You are sneaking like a lion behind Alastor as he drinks tea and he is like “I feel watched” with a sweatdropped and next thing people see in the halls is you grinning as you drag a motionless Alastor who still holds his tea up.

You wrapped your tail around Charlie to help her put up a banner as you file your claws as it was time to trim them. Like I imagine that as vaggie is like “What.” With a blank confused face seeing her girlfriend get lifted by a 8ft tall female cat

I can see reader having those teas that help people to sleep just incase they don’t like being passed out “force”. So you just make them tea as you listen to them rant as they fall asleep

Imagine reader reading a book as Lucifer is having a hyper moment behind her as she just peacefully reads….

It gives off “calm friend x hyper friend” vibes

Lucifer had one time patted you, and kept petting you until you purred so he can feel relaxed. He likes your purrs.

The duck king definitely has a picture of you purring on his lap…he even has it as his wallpaper kinda because of how soft and good smelling your fur is

OOOH IMAGINE YOU AND ANGEL HAVING A FASHION SHOW IN HIS ROOM💗🦆

Angel definitely gets you some nice clothes to match your aesthetic or purple clothing with white and cream.

You carry nifty in your mouth as if she was your kit….its cute okay…like niffty straight up smile as you hold her like your own kitten.

“This is ma mom now!” Nifty says happily as you just walk around with the back of her dress in your mouth.

Cherri bomb was good about you by Angel dust as Angel had put an image of how cool and badass you are at not following the rules. She always tries to persuade you into giving her your red smoke to make bombs out of it. SHE ONLY WANTS TO CAUSE DESTRUCTION!!!🦆‼️

Sir Pentious brings his egg boiz to you when they can’t sleep so you can use your red smoke on them. They snuggle in your purple fur as you just play a lullaby for them

I imagine you and husk purring by each other out of no where confused…but it’s because of your peaceful scent installed in your fur and body.

You still have your signature cocky smile before you knock a bitch out with the gas coming from your mouth.

I can see how you have a moon ring as [favorite hazbin hotel character] has a sun ring to show off your friendship with them

Imagine how reader gets groomed by the whole hazbin hotel crew because of their 8ft tall frame…there’s a lot of extra work in grooming your fur.

You definitely have those candles as well with that lavender smell with hint of vanilla. You have so much aromatherapy stuff for people. You might as well be the aroma goddess-

I headcannon you using your demon form (basically that form where the player sees catnap as a skinny monster) to scare people 😭 you’re an asshole as I imagine Angel getting ready for his morning to only see you behind the shower curtain with a creepy smile

Angel screamed and ran out the room looking crazy…..😭 Charlie found out and made you apologize to Angel as he was locked in his room..

He’s definitely not going to the bathroom alone-

Just like my other catnap! Reader, you definitely walk around slowly but stealthy releasing that poppy gas just incase a resident or your friends try sneaking out. “It’s time for bed…” you says quietly as you move smoothly around the hotel hallways

Just like before, Lucifer was scared of you until you showed him you can be quite the loving person you can be. Like Lucifer will lay on your body for comfort if he was getting busy from paper work in his office.

I can imagine Angel trying to get you to use your gas on Valentino and you’re like “sure” as you put a jar to your mouth and release it and give it to Angel.

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orangelala · 1 month

Text

wrapped - m.s

female reader x grumpy bf matt

warnings: none! all fluff

word count: 649 words

you were currently in the car with nick and chris as you wait for matt to come out. nick and chris wanted to go to top golf and they know that matt will most likely tell them no, as he has had a long day. making them use their secret weapon, you.

they picked it up a few months back when they noticed that when you wanted to do something, go somewhere, anything you basically wanted matt would be right there to do it. so now when they want something, they get you to ask matt as he would nine out of ten he will say yes to you.

so here you three were sitting in the car waiting on matt as he gets his things to drive you guys. "maybe you should lay off on me asking matt, why don't you just ask him?" you say turning your head in the direction of the boys. "because he does anything you ask, but with us it's like pulling teeth" nick says adjusting himself in his seat. "he has soft spot for you, you got him wrapped around your finger-" chris gets interrupted as matt gets in the car finally. "who has someone wrapped around their finger?" matt says turning on car and looking back chris.

"you, she has you wrapped around her finger" chris says nudging nick to agree. "yeah matt, you do anything she says basically but with us, your own brothers we get a no almost every time" nick adds to chris's statement. "no i do not" matt says turning back around to back out of the garage. "and for your information she does not have me wrapped her around her finger" matt adds before giving you his phone to put on some music.

"right, that's why she got you doing face masks the other night" nick says rolling his eyes making chris laugh. "face masks? bro she got you wrapped, you never cared about that stuff before" chris somehow manages to get out as he still continues to laugh. matt is quick to run his hand through his hair and sigh, making you notice placing a your hand on his arm. "don't listen to them baby" you say adding to the conversation and leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

"but at least i got a girl chris" matt says smirking looking at his rear view mirror making nick laugh. "he got you there" nick says continuing to laugh. chris moves towards the window and pouts. "not cool man" chris says almost whining making everyone in car laugh. you all enjoy the rest of the car ride together talking about how everyone's day was and doing a little karaoke as some favorite songs came on.

matt isn't the type of person to really show emotions, chris and nick constantly call him miserable matt. that was before you both started dating, yes you and matt are different but that never stopped him from falling for you. two polar opposites attract, right? they still call him that sometimes but mostly lover boy as he's always stealing you back from the brothers.

you love matt dearly. even though he's a mr. grumpy, he's the sweetest with you. he opens up to you fully feeling comfortable with your presence and your sweet upbeat attitude you always have. making one of the main reasons why he fell inlove with you.

matt is yours and you are his. he places his right hand on your thigh making you smile, as you put your hand above his. feeling the love from the supposed grumpy and miserable matt that is secretly a big softy for you.

you take in the love and happiness you feel in the air. you couldn't ask for anything better. this were you belong with matt by your side, nick your bestfriend and chris like a brother to you.

a/n: here's some fluff that's been sitting in my drafts <3

tags: @nicksmainbitch @samandcolbyfan22 @sturniolossss @sturnlova @its-jennarose

#sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo #chris sturniolo #nick sturniolo #fluff #matt sturniolo x you #matt

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fillinforlater · 3 months

Text

Pink Sheets of the Gangbang Queen

Male Reader x Kim Gaeul

Length: 1759 words

Tags: post-gangbang-unclarity, a fuckton of cum, the biggest creampies you can imagine, sluttiest_woman_ever!Gaeul, riding, reverse cowgirl, mating press, cumming again, surprisingly sweet

TW: nasty, a lot of cum by different people

Credit: @friskyriskywhisky had the idea and wrote most of it, I just expanded it as far as I could. Maybe there will be more Gangbang Queen stuff, but this was basically just a double BFH lol

(A/N: Have fun with this crazy, short piece!)

“I want one more…”

Gaeul lies on her nasty bed, which is not only the size of a New York apartment room but also a lot more comfortable. The fresh evidence of sin is all over the once royal pink bedsheet befitting of a princess, a queen to be more accurate. Her comically large pillow is full of wet fingerprints, there are even hints of Gaeul bending over it because she loves it when men penetrate her from behind and fuck her into the soft thing. The headboard and the walls nearby are all smeared with her own slick and the cum from the dozen of guys who unloaded a week's worth and then some for her, on her, because of her. Who knows how much genetic coding is now dripping down those walls, or the side of her bed or along her thighs.

Either way, Gaeul knows that the pungent creampie of hers only feels this good because at least ten horny men put their spunk deep into her cunt. Be it fat cocks, long ones, small, smelly, oddly shaped—Gaeul takes them all and her insides shape to each accordingly. For the horde of cocks it’s an incredible feeling with a surprising snugness, while Gaeul yearns and shouts (as long as there is no shaft testing her gag reflex) for them to finish quickly and deep. Though a marvelous feeling, she is never satisfied. She needs one more, she doesn’t even care if it’s the tiniest rest or a gigantic, creamy load—all that matters is that he cums inside her.

Gaeul’s once-animated and sex-crazed sexual partners have either left or completely passed out on the floor next to her bed—except lucky you, the only one lying naked next to her. Lucky you, who she now eyes, admiring your features while you're half asleep. She crawls over and gently flips you onto your back, stirring you awake in the process.

In your state of extreme grogginess, you aren't able to tell at first if you're being eaten alive or attacked by a savage animal. Just when your fight or flight response springs into action, a pair of lips press against yours. They instantly calm you down like a mothers embrace after a lucid nightmare. You can't help but smile unconsciously at how gentle it feels. Gaeul’s floral-scented shampoo reassures you who's currently kissing you, her touchy, wet and tender fingers reminding you of the first time she checked out your body…

It was a rainy night in one of the many underground bars in Seoul—the type of bar that makes you raise an eyebrow at first, someone with connections has recommended it, looks suspicious; then you fell into the trap of fun conversations and nice liquor that ultimately led to a selection ceremony. This was the moment you realized why this was not a commonly visited place.

Everyone went silent at her entry. Gaeul, the well-known (at least for most people that regularly visit these exclusive bars) gangbang queen was craving men tonight, many men. She was not picky, in fact, there was only one condition you had to fulfill:

“Three days worth of cum. If you had sex or jerked off during the last three days, you’re out for tonight.”

No one dared to defy her or lie to her. She diligently checked everyone’s balls and was extremely thorough, especially with you, who she gently pushed against a bar stool, hand past your waistband. Your breath hitched, hers too when her slender fingers caressed your balls.

“Tall, horny—and at least ten days of cum.

“I’d love for you to join the after party in my pink bed.”

That’s how Gaeul found you, touched you, lured you in and turned you on, like she does at this moment…

It's been minutes now, with no signs of stopping or letting go from Gaeul, her lips still fully attached to yours just to occasionally back off and peck at it again. The last remnants of a dream that could never match this disappear. They are replaced by memories that slowly creep back and your heart drops. You remember what happened not long ago, right on these pink sheets—don’t lie to yourself, you know it happens every other night.

Those soft lips of hers were satisfying other men not too long ago, fully enveloped around shafts of different shapes and sizes. That tongue of hers glided across the cockhead of multiple partners and made sure that no spot on their balls was left out. She would fill her mouth with as much manly musk and precum as she could before her throat was getting assaulted by who knows how many cocks, endlessly coating the back of it with thick cum and forcing her to gag and cry, which everyone knows is a huge turn on for the gangbang queen.

It’s those lips that form a seal around yours and it’s that mouth you attack lazily with your tongue.

Who are you to complain though? Gaeul is the greatest kisser your lips have ever met. Your obsession with her took control of your life even though you had no chance with her. You're just a nobody when Gaeul is the well-beloved queen. The gangbang queen - for those close enough to be her little circle filled with lust and desire. Yet somehow you saw a chance and took it, even if it means taking sloppy seconds (or thirds? Fifths? Wait, how many guys are here again?).

Your mind snaps back to the present when you feel your cock poking at her entrance. Hang on, did she even—fuck! You shiver in both pleasure and disgust. You're plunged into her sloppy cunt, extremely tight, even after being abused by multiple men (some girthier than the ridiculous sex toys she has in her collection).

Gaeul’s walls hug your tip first, then slowly adjust to your size, like they have become your personal sexy toy. The pleasure really kicks in when the gangbang queen puts your hands on her hips and adds your name into the mixture of huffs and moans. Her incredibly damp cavern and how slippery her whole crotch is against your own, it displays a reality you don't want to admit: You're fucking Gaeul through the creampie of other men. Using the foreign substance as a sticky wannabe lube as you slowly ramp up your pace, you're thinking with your other head only; that’s not an uncommon occurrence with the gangbang queen around.

Sex with her has you drunk, dazed, carelessly chasing your own high. You want to be the only one to have your load inside of her cunt. Gaeul yearns for breeding, and the sperm of all the other disgusting men, still unconscious in this room is deemed not enough. At this moment you decide to fuck the creampie out of her and replace it with your own.

You're frantically thrusting in and out of her, she replicates your passion as she rides you. Heaps of old cum get forced out with the assistance of gravity but mainly due to the pump that is your cock and the endless pumping into her cunt. Gaeul switches to a reverse cowgirl position and it's only now that you notice that her ass got absolutely filled as well.

This should not be a surprise, she is the gangbang queen after all, yet you want to look away. This is exclusively other men's cum leaking out of Gaeul and onto your abs. It feels extremely wrong, fucking filthy and somewhat gross. The eagerness of the girl on your dick makes you forget that though. For a short while, you just admire her back, her small, shapely ass and the way her moans are in perfect harmony with the sound of flesh hitting flesh and cum being squeezed out.

With your whole cock still buried inside her, bottoming her out, you two clumsily get into a mating press position. Gaeul is the most flexible girl you know, her small frame easily capable of folding and bending into every position you want. This position quickly becomes your favorite, because you don’t have to see her leaking asshole anymore, but you know that she is gaping and the worthless spunk steadily leaves her anal cavity.

Every time you thrust into her, you see and feel her whole ass and thighs ripple. Shock waves across the smooth, stretched, spotless skin gets sent in all kinds of directions because you dig your hands into it. There's still a disgusting amount of cum defying gravity, defying your forceful pounding into Gaeul, but you are sure that if you just keep on fucking her, and press her whole body into the mattress, the petite gangbang queen will leak out all the rest. Through the lewdest of sounds and a clear lack of stamina, the thought of Gaeul filled with nothing but you pushes you through.

You feel the knot inside you loosen, strings and little last spurts of cum hitting her cervix as your tip is right up against it. Gaeul has her feet right up against your back, her heels pulling you deeper inside her. She's still rutting against you, her clit drawing circles against your crotch enjoying the friction and satisfaction it brings. The art of the orgasm, Gaeul has mastered it. In her scream, you find an infinite sea of bliss. It draws out your orgasm a few more seconds; perfect seconds.

Post-nut clarity kicks in and you try to block out the other people who are regaining consciousness in the room. Witness how ethereal her beauty is under the ceiling light. You want to kiss her. You want to tell her how much you love her. However, the harsh reality kicks in harder than the post-nut clarity as she shifts her gaze away from you and looks at the time. You close your eyes, take a deep breath to cherish just how fucking good her cock-warming cavern is.

You pull away, unfazed at the mess in front of you at this point. Party time is over and you’re victorious but defeated, a bit deflated even. Why is the girl you’re falling for the wrong type of queen?

"Hey..." Gaeul reaches out and grabs your forearm and pulls you a little closer to give you one last peck on your cheek. "Drive safely, okay?” Her fingers tiptoe towards your hand until it reaches the back of your it, her thumb gently rubs circles on it. A new level of intimacy that makes your heart stutter. “Message me when you’re back home."

#kpop smut #female idol smut #girl group smut #male reader insert #ive smut #male reader smut #gaeul smut #kim gaeul smut #ive gaeul smut

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inkskinned · 2 years

Text

in recent years, there's been a push in therapeutic circles to shift the language from "attention-seeking" to "connection-seeking" behavior.

i was an attention-seeker. i was the textbook example of an attention-seeker. i was a troublemaker. i would self-harm. i destroyed my own relationships. i was uncontrolled, dramatic, sensitive. i took everything personally. i had "nothing" to be depressed "about," but made a big show of how sad i was nonetheless. i was really unsafe about myself in a lot of ways.

the strange thing about that is: it meant others could ignore me. the prevailing wisdom behind knowing something is "attention seeking" is to say: well, since you want it that bad, you're not getting any. it meant i was lower-on-the-list of concern. it meant an eye-roll.

the belief was that: since i was obviously doing these things on purpose, it would be bad behavioral training if i was "rewarded" for it. it would "teach me" that i simply had to make enough fuss, and i'd finally get all that missing attention and love. no, it was better to ignore that stuff.

i was suffering. and it felt like - oh, it doesn't matter how loudly i am in pain, nobody gives a shit about if i'm living or dying.

awhile ago, i went through my journals from that time. a lot of them read the same thing. in them, i am convinced i am invisible. that nobody wants to hear me, to see me. that i could die or vanish and nobody would even notice. i didn't even want attention - not really - because it was always dismissive, mocking. nothing i ever did would be good enough to get someone to actually-worry about me.

that's a terrifying thing for me to read as an adult. that is a child who fully has no problem committing. that is a child who has no concept of feeling loved. the most basic human instinct is missing from her life.

i needed help. i didn't know how to ask for it. i was a kid. i was a kid in a bad home, and whenever i thought things couldn't get worse there - they almost always did.

and the ways i showed that - the ways i tried to deal with that - they made others dismiss me. i wasn't suffering prettily. after all, if i was really in trouble, why wouldn't i just march into the first counselor's office and ask someone to help me? i had the opportunities, right? what did i think would happen, exactly? that someone would finally stand up and do something? who even wants that kind of responsibility?

i heard connection-seeking for the first time about three months ago. my therapist mentioned it when we were talking about my history. it rang some kind of horrible bell, deep inside me. i don't know what she said in the rest of her sentence. i just started... crying.

"oh no", i said to her. "i think i just realized: i have no idea how to forgive them for minimizing the ways i was hurting."

how many other kids, though. how many other kids were out there drowning, snatching around for a lifevest, some kind of rope - how many were straight-up ignored.

how many of those kids aren't gonna get old.

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marvelsmylife · 26 days

Text

Escaping reality

Pairing: Azriel x reader

Plot: Azriel accidentally makes you feel bad when he jokes about the types of books you read. Nesta tears him a new one when she finds out what he said and reveals why you’re so attached to that book.

Warning: angst, mention of attempt of SA. Cassian is protective of the reader. Nesta sees her as a sister. The Valkyrie wants to kick Azriel’s ass.

a/n this one is a tiny bit darker only because it involves SA so please don't read if that triggers you

Request

Azriel never had a problem talking with females throughout his lifetime. That changed the day Cassian brought you to the house of wind.

Cassian had rescued you from four males who were about to do unspeakable things to you. Fortunately, he was walking past and heard your pleas for help. After slaughtering the males that were about the harm you, Cassian flew you to the river house, where he got Madja to do a check-up on you just to be safe.

Once he got confirmation you were physically ok, Cassian suggested that you move to the house of wind with him, Nesta, and Azriel. Even though the males who were about to assault you were dead, he wanted to make sure you were not going to be assaulted again.

Luckily, he got approval from not only Rhysand but also from Nesta and Azriel. They saw how shaken up you were and didn’t think it would be a good idea for you to be on your own. Nesta took you under her wing and became very protective of you. She saw a lot of Elain in you and had the instinct to protect you.

As for Azriel, he found himself thinking about you constantly and always asking both Cassian and Nesta if you were doing ok but never actually had a conversation with you. He would send at least one of his shadows to watch over you at all times even though you never the house. Cassian would often tease that Azriel was afraid to talk to you because had a crush. That would result in Azriel punching Cassian and storming away.

To Cassian’s credit, he did suggest to Azriel that he should start a conversation with you about the book you were reading. Since moving in, you basically lived in the library with Nesta. You would constantly recommend books to each other and actually started a book club with the other Valkyrie and some of the priestesses. Cassian knew you would open up to Azriel if he talked to you about something you were passionate about.

Taking Cassian’s advice, Azriel made his way into the library, where he spotted you reading at a small table. Azriel bit back a smile as he watched the shadow he had sent to watch over you caress your cheek as you read out loud.

Not wanting to scare you, Azriel let out a cough to get your attention: “Mr. Shadowsinger, what brings you down here?”

“Please, call me Azriel,” Azriel replied. His heart started beating fast when you smiled at him, “I was just looking for something to read in bed. What are you reading?”

You began to explain to Azriel the book you were reading, and Azriel jokingly said: “I thought that book was for children?” The smile that was once on your face disappeared and was replaced with a frown. Azriel realized he messed up and tried to apologize: “Y/n, I’m sorry that came out wrong.”

You tried your best to put on a happy smile before replying: “It’s ok. You don’t need to apologize. It is a children’s book,” you stood up and held the book against your chest: “I-I have to go. It was nice talking to you, Mr.Shadowsinger.”

“Y/n, wait-” Azriel watched as you disappeared and flipped over a table out of frustration.

Azriel knew he was going to face the wrath of Cassian and Nesta, but nothing could have prepared him to face the wrath of all three valkyries and his brother at once the following day. “Are you kidding me, Azriel ! ! !” Nesta snapped at Azriel and caused the shadowsinger to wince.

“I meant it as a joke, but-” All three females covered their faces out of frustration while Cassian did everything in his power to not lunge at his brother.

Nesta let out an exaggerated groan at Azriel’s explanation: “That book is important to her. She didn’t have the best home life and used to read that book as a way to escape her situation,” Azriel felt like a complete asshole at Nesta’s explanation. He wished he could turn back time and stop himself from making that joke.

“Fix the mess you made or else,” Cassian pointed towards the three females who were ready to murder him: “I’m going to let them skin you alive,” Cassian warned before leaving with the Valkyrie to train.

Azriel was already planning on apologizing, but knowing that the Valkyrie would, in fact, murder him, he decided to stop by your room later that night.

Azriel lost his train of thought for a brief moment when you answered the door in a nightgown. He tried and failed to avoid checking you out, and he started to feel like a creep for his actions. “Mr. Shadowsinger. How can I help you?” you asked, crossing your arms.

“I wanted to apologize for the comment I made about the book you were reading the other day.” Azriel apologized: “I didn’t know how important that book was to you, and I made a horrible joke.”

Looking into his eyes, you could tell Azriel was being genuine: ”It’s ok. If anything, I overreacted to your comment. I know it’s just a book, but-”

“No buts.” Azriel cut you off: “You don’t need to explain yourself to me. That book is special to you, and I made a dumb comment. I just hope you’ll accept my apology, and we can start over.”

“Of course, I accept your apology, Azriel.” You sent him a shy smile.

Azriel was close to falling onto his knees at you using his actual name. Knowing what he was feeling towards you was more than just a crush he suddenly started picturing what his life would be like with you by his side. How he would protect you from anyone who would dare touch or even look at you in the wrong way.

Azriel was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t realize he was just staring at you until you waved your hands over his face. “Are you ok?” you asked in a concerned tone.

“Yes, sorry,” Azriel cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head: “I was just going to ask if you would like to get coffee with me tomorrow and talk about our favorite books. I promise I won’t make mean jokes about the books you love to read.”

Azriel knew it was a gamble making a joke about the very thing that got him in trouble in the first place, but to his delight, you started laughing. “I would love to, but” you poked his chest, “you have to buy me my coffee.”

“I was already planning on paying. I am a gentleman, after all,” Azriel agreed, sending you a crooked smile. You playfully rolled your eyes and said goodnight before closing your door and sleeping.

@sleepylunarwolf @paankhaleyaar

#azriel x reader #azriel imagine #azriel x you #acotar x reader #acotar imagine

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kaisacobra · 8 months

Text

A Little Bird Told Me - Tara Carpenter

Summary: a badly interpreted tweet makes Tara get jealous

Warnings: Fem! Reader, a bit of angst, mentions of yellowjackets characters (Lottie Matthews and Lottienat), curse words

Word Count: 5.3k

"I propose a movie night at Tara's house!"

That catches the attention of the younger Carpenter, making her turn away from the direction of the Blackmore University library to answer Mindy with a teasing smile. "And who said I want you all at my house tonight?"

"You don't have a choice!" Mindy retorts, tossing a fallen leaf from the table they were sitting on towards Tara. "And you definitely want a certain someone to come to your house tonight."

"Yeah, you've been staring at the library door since she went in there." Anika joins her girlfriend in the argument, causing Tara's face to turn even redder.

You had been at the table earlier with Tara, Mindy, Anika, Chad, and Ethan, but a message had arrived on your phone and you hastily headed towards the library, letting your friends know you wouldn't take long. Since you left, the freckled girl couldn't help but look expectantly in that direction, missing your funny comments and calming presence.

It's true that Tara might have had a little crush on you since the beginning of this year, when you patiently and non-judgmentally listened to a long rant that Carpenter had been holding back about everything that had happened in Woodsboro. You had been there too, but you let her say everything she wanted and didn't even mention your own traumas, being more concerned with holding Tara in your arms as she shed the necessary tears. Since that night, she couldn't help but see you in a different light.

"Well, if everyone's up for it, I don't think Sam will mind having you all over." She tried to smoothly change the subject.

"I'm in!" Ethan was the first to confirm, followed by the other three instantly. Tara took the opportunity to take her phone out of her pocket and message Sam, informing her about the plans for later.

"Wow, who's that?" She heard Chad say, but didn't lift her head from her phone, thinking he was talking about some random girl he found attractive. However, Mindy's next sentence made Tara snap her head up so fast she almost got whiplash.

"Ooh, Y/n is in good company!" Mindy teased, and Tara followed her gaze until she spotted you, coming out of the library laughing alongside a girl who was clearly beautiful even from a distance. The dark wavy hair framed her face perfectly, and she was tall like a model. There was no reason for it, but the Carpenter girl suddenly felt intimidated by this new mystery girl.

You continued walking with her towards your friends, and as you got close enough to be seen clearly but not close enough to overhear the conversation, Chad blurted out a comment. "Damn, is that Charlotte Matthews?"

"Fuck! I think it is!" Anika added with excitement. Seeing the huge question mark on Tara's face, she hurriedly explained. "Lottie is on the college women's soccer team, and they're basically unbeatable. She's, like, super popular."

Tara crossed her arms and looked in your direction again, a bitter taste forming in her mouth as she noticed you were still laughing at something the girl had told you. What could possibly be so amusing?

"I didn't know Y/n had rizz like that." Mindy added with a thoughtful expression. "Good for her."

Before Tara could say that there was nothing to indicate you had any interest in Lottie (something she was also trying to convince herself of), you finally reached the table, greeting your friends with a smile. "Hey, guys."

"Hey." Lottie spoke after you, a bit shyly. How dare she be beautiful, tall as a goddess, and yet still have an adorable charm?

Everyone responded, and Tara found herself forcing a smile to hide her conflicting feelings. She sought your gaze, and some of the knot in her stomach unraveled as you locked eyes. "We're having a movie night at my place tonight, do you want to come?"

Your expression twisted into one of sorrowful regret. "Can't, sorry. I'll be tutoring Lottie in organic chemistry, it'll probably take the whole day." Tara realized you were still looking at her, trying to decipher if she was upset about your absence. Ever since movie nights had become a kind of tradition within the group, you had never missed one. This would be the first time you wouldn't be there, and Tara could tell you felt bad about it.

"Don't worry about it!" Mindy waved her hands nonchalantly, then turned to Tara with a teasing smile. "We get that you have bigger priorities, right, Tara?"

You still looked at the girl like a lost puppy, eagerly awaiting her reaction. Tara swallowed a sigh and forced herself to maintain a fake smile to calm her nerves. "Right. It was about time you put that brain of yours to some use."

With the girl's joke, you laughed, visibly becoming less tense as if a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. "Well, I'll see you guys tomorrow. Bye, everyone!" You waved goodbye to everyone at the table, Lottie doing the same out of politeness, and Tara watched bitterly as the two of you walked away side by side, probably heading towards the player's dorm.

"I bet 5 bucks Y/n will show up tomorrow with a massive hickey on her neck." Chad jokes, and the group laughs in response. Tara, being the only one not finding the joke funny, lets out an irritated huff and stands up, slinging her own bag over her shoulder. "Let's get going already, I want to pick the movie."

She starts walking slowly, ignoring Ethan's protests that it's his turn to choose.

The truth was: Tara just didn't want them to see how upset she was about your absence.

I want to stab you to death and play around with your blood.

Tara grimaced as she heard the line spoken by Christian Bale through the television, and she could see from the corner of her eye that everyone had shifted uncomfortably, relating the line to the events of the previous year.

Ethan had chosen American Psycho as the movie for the night, and Tara didn't want to protest since you weren't there for her to gauge your reactions to the film she chose. She sighed and glanced at her phone's lock screen again, hoping for a message from you saying that the tutoring had ended early and you were on your way. It never came.

She ran her hands over her face in frustration. The thought of you alone with an annoyingly beautiful girl in her room was enough to make a vein in her temple throb. What if Chad was right? What if tomorrow you showed up with a hickey on your neck, holding hands with Lottie Matthews, strolling across campus like the most beloved couple in America?

Ugh. She pressed her eyes shut to try to banish the image from her mind. When did she let her feelings for you become so... intense? It was almost humiliating to think that Tara Carpenter had gone from the girl who spent most of her time alone to the girl who couldn't stand a few hours without you.

Feeling a strange surge of pride, Tara shook her head and grabbed her phone, opening the front camera. She was having fun and definitely not sinking into miserable thoughts, right? So she had to post a picture to prove that she was perfectly happy! Of course, that had nothing to do with you, and she certainly didn't care if you saw the photo while you were busy doing who knows what with one of the most desired girls at Blackmore.

"Hey, guys! Look here real quick!" Tara alerted, and everyone shuffled to get into the selfie. Sam sat beside her with a restrained smile, Anika and Mindy were wrapped in each other's arms a bit behind the Carpenters, and Chad had an arm around Ethan's shoulders, who responded by making a peace sign with his fingers behind his roommate's head.

Tara snapped the picture and examined the result, mindlessly promising to send it to Anika when the girl asked. The younger Carpenter discreetly zoomed in on her own face, deciding if she looked pretty enough to post it or not. Satisfied, she opened Instagram and uploaded the photo as a story, adding a caption underneath. Great night with these weirdos.

After that, Tara locked her phone, trying to hypnotize herself into believing she wasn't eagerly waiting for your comment. She stared fixedly at the TV, feigning deep interest in Patrick Bateman's actions, as if she hadn't lost focus on the movie within the first twenty minutes.

5 minutes later, her phone buzzed with a notification. You had replied to her story.

Tara almost giggled and kicked her feet because of how quickly you messaged. That had to be a good sign. You wouldn't have replied so fast if you were busy doing something... or someone else. Right?

"Don't have too much fun without me." Your message read. The younger Carpenter bit her lower lip to contain a wider smile on her face.

"Never." She typed, but thought better of it and deleted it, typing out a different response. "I can't promise anything."

You read the message but didn't reply any further, probably returning to your duties as a tutor. Tara didn't complain, as she was already more than satisfied with the quick attention you gave her.

She comfortably leaned back on the couch, where she was seated between Sam and Mindy, the latter gently stroking Anika's hair, who was sitting beside her. The two boys were on the floor engaged in a heated discussion about whether Ethan was an incel or not based on his choice of movie.

Feeling more relaxed, Tara reached over to snatch some popcorn from Sam, earning a light smack and narrowed eyes in retaliation. She offered an innocent smile to her older sister, who simply rolled her eyes and placed the popcorn bucket between them, succumbing to the silent plea.

Tara could almost have forgotten she had been upset. Almost. But then her phone vibrated with another notification.

It was from your Twitter, and from the notification bar, apparently, you had tweeted "hjsuzgabasi."

She frowned, trying to figure out what the hell you were trying to say. Unlocking her phone, Tara quickly opened the Twitter app, searching for your profile so she could reply with something like "???" on your latest post.

But as she was about to comment on your tweet, she noticed the other two you had just posted.

She's soooooo prettyyy😭😭 just one chance please

Her brown eyes omg im so gay

Tara's mood instantly turned sour. Had you just tweeted about Lottie Matthews? I mean, you were with her now, and Tara vividly remembered the girl's big, enchanting brown eyes. Of course, you were tweeting about the gay panic you were probably experiencing in real life.

She sighed and stood up from the couch. "I'm gonna grab some water." Tara mumbled to justify her departure and headed to the kitchen, still holding her phone. Suddenly, the fun atmosphere she had felt for a few minutes had given way to a nauseating feeling churning in her stomach.

She turned the phone over before grabbing a glass, but her eyebrows furrowed when she realized your tweets were no longer there. Holding the device with both hands now, she refreshed your profile again, but the posts had vanished as if they were a mirage. You had probably deleted them to prevent Lottie from seeing, or something like that.

Either way, the tweets had been there, and Tara had firsthand seen your super gay panic as you probably looked at the soccer player. She hated the thought that you might be blushing right now over something Lottie said, giving one of your cute shy smiles as she ran her hand through your hair, eventually trailing down to your neck and pulling you in for...

No! Tara was already torturing herself enough without imagining what you two might be doing. She didn't need another reason to ruin her own night.

So, after downing a glass of water and trying to contain the terrible feeling spreading through her system, Tara returned to the living room dragging her feet, doing her best to force herself to enjoy the rest of the night with her friends.

She definitely wasn't caring about your stupid new crush.

"Ugh! If you point out one more mistake of mine, I'm going to bite your arm!" Lottie complained dramatically, leaning back in her swivel chair and turning towards you, avoiding looking at the open notebook with unsolved questions.

You chuckled at her antics. "Let's not resort to cannibalism, okay? I'd rather stay whole if I still have to finish teaching you things."

"Can we at least take a break? My brain is killing me." She didn't even wait for your response and immediately got up, heading towards her own bed and lying down without ceremony. You just shook your head with a smile and stretched your arms, still sitting in the chair. Lottie was right, after all. You both deserved a bit of rest.

Taking advantage of the break, you took your phone out of your bag pocket and quickly checked your notifications, stopping at one that made your heart race and a small smile start to form on your face.

Opening the app, you viewed Tara's story. A photo of everyone in the group (minus Quinn, who was probably at one of her flings' places) gathered in the Carpenter's living room, with happy expressions that must have come from the fun of the movie nights.

You thought for a few seconds before sending a playful response. "Don't have too much fun without me." There was a bit of truth hidden behind those words, considering you felt bad for missing out on this time with your friends, but mostly for not being there with Tara.

It had been a few years since you started developing feelings for the younger Carpenter. You had met in school in Woodsboro and grew closer when you were assigned a literature project together. Since then, Tara introduced you to her other friends and you became a significant part of her life.

She made you feel heard and appreciated, so it didn't take long for you to fall in love and get lost in the sparkle of those brown eyes. But you weren't stupid. Everyone could see that Tara Carpenter only had eyes for Amber Freeman. So you decided to take a step back and act as a good friend to Tara, painfully listening when she talked about her immense love for her girlfriend.

You even thought about moving on from her, but then the "Woodsboro Massacre" happened, you knew you couldn't leave the girl alone during such a vulnerable time. So, despite your head warning you that you would get hurt, you followed your heart and never left Tara's side for a second.

"I can't promise anything." She replied after a while, and you smiled at the familiarity of her classic sense of humor in the message. You exited the chat shortly after, returning to Tara's stories to look at the posted photo once again.

You zoomed in on the familiar face, much like a high school girl stalking her crush, and involuntarily broke into a silly smile. Tara's dark hair was loose, waves cascading over her shoulder. She had a slight smile on her face that allowed you to catch a glimpse of her adorable dimple. The photo quality was good but not enough for you to see the freckles you knew were there, on her cheeks and nose, that you wished you could someday get close enough to count with the tips of your fingers.

With your heart pounding in your chest, you decided you were feeling too many emotions to keep them to yourself. So, like a good contemporary girl, you searched for the Twitter app on your phone and prepared for a gay vent of at least 100 characters.

"Why are you so red?" Lottie asks from her spot on the bed, startling you as you had completely forgotten about her presence.

Wide-eyed, you look at her and try to come up with something. "N-nothing. Must be your imagination."

Clearly, the excuse doesn't work with Lottie, because she breaks into a teasing smile and raises her eyebrows as if she knows all your secrets. "What was it? Did Tara send you a message?"

"Shut up." You release a weak grumble and quickly turn back to your phone, tweeting the first thing that came to your mind upon seeing your best friend's earlier photo. hjsuzgabasi. Poetic.

"Come on! Don't you think it's about time you confess your feelings?" Lottie sits up straight on the bed to better analyze you. "I mean, you talk about her all the time in class. Tara this, Tara that, Tara, Tara, Tara."

"I don't want to ruin our friendship, okay?" You turn to the soccer player before sending out more tweets containing your embarrassing thoughts about the younger Carpenter. She's soooooo prettyyy😭😭 just one chance please. Her brown eyes omg im so gay

Lottie sighs and gets up, walking over to you and placing her hands affectionately on your shoulders. "Look, I might not know her as well, but if she's as good a friend as you describe, she wouldn't stop talking to you over something you can't even control."

"I know. Maybe I'll tell her someday." You speak in a hushed voice but quickly lift your head to look up at the tall girl with a playful expression. "You know, you should take your own advice and just admit you have a crush on a certain Natalie Scatorccio from your soccer team."

Her eyes widen, and she blushes deeply, pushing your swivel chair back slightly as she returns to the bed, not before flipping you off. "Shut up, you fucking loser."

You laugh at that, and Lottie joins in right after. Maybe you two weren't as close as you were with the others in your group (especially Tara), but the time you spent sitting next to each other during those tedious organic chemistry classes was enough to cultivate a great friendship.

Still chuckling a bit, you returned your gaze to your phone, and... your heart dropped into your stomach. Oh no.

"Shit, shit, shit!" You exclaim, rushing to delete the posts as quickly as possible. How could you have gotten so distracted?!

"What's wrong?" Lottie asks, alarmed, watching with a concerned expression as you hurriedly tap on your phone, looking on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

"I tweeted from my main account!" You reply with a mix of embarrassment and nervousness. "I didn't realize I wasn't on my private one, and I tweeted my gay panic about Tara's photo in a place where she can see! What do I do?!"

The taller girl walks over to you again, placing a hand in the space between your shoulders and encouraging you to take a deep breath along with her. "Calm down. Is there anything in the tweet that makes it clear it was about her?"

"Nothing specific... Damn it." You close your eyes and rest your head on the desk for a few seconds. What if Tara had seen the post, and now she's telling Sam how pathetic she thinks you are? Even worse, tonight was movie night! What if Tara had shown the tweets to everyone, and now they were all collectively laughing at you?

You pick up your phone again and open your messages, searching for Anika's contact. She and Mindy (who never let anything slide) were the only ones who had caught on to your crush on Tara and had already tried to advise you to confess your feelings, though they were still keeping the information a secret at your request. Between the two, the least likely to laugh at your current situation was the Kayoko, so you decided to beg her for help.

You

Nik, pls tell me Tara isn't on her phone rn

I may have accidentally posted my gay panic at her photo on twt…

Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)

WHAT??????????

OMG, you guys are finally gonna date😭

Wait, she's in the kitchen, let me take a look

Oh.

You

Oh????

Wdym oh????

Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)

She's looking weirdly at her phone

She seems upset

You

Oh.

Fashion Icon⭐ (Anika)

It's probably not with you

You

Forget it

Thx for the help

Lottie still gives you some awkward pats on your back as you turn to her fully, and you know she read everything over your shoulder when she offers a small supportive smile to try and make you feel better. You let Lottie embrace you as you close your eyes, feeling desperate tears threatening to fall.

"She doesn't like me back, does she?" You whisper into the girl's shoulder, and she squeezes you a little tighter in her hold.

"You don't know that. Try talking to her tomorrow, okay?"

Unwilling to utter any sound, you simply nod in agreement, knowing that even though the problem is only for tomorrow, you'll already feel the effects of it today.

It wasn't a good day for Tara.

The petite girl had tossed and turned in bed all night, unable to close her eyes with some inexplicable anger flooding her body. Every time she allowed herself to relax for a few seconds, the image of you being much closer to Charlotte Matthews than you should have been appeared in her mind like a bitter reminder.

And Tara could be very proud and stubborn, but she wasn't stupid. She knew perfectly well that her sour mood was out of pure jealousy and anger at herself for letting you slip through her fingers. But even though the negative feelings had their origin within herself, Tara still wasn't the best at dealing with her emotions and she knew she was making her bad mood everyone else's problem.

Unfortunately, you didn't know this when you approached her in the hallways of Blackmore University, with an apprehensive expression on your face and your heart in your hand. If Tara noticed your increasingly close presence, she didn't move a muscle to show it, but she moved plenty to walk faster, trying to cross your path without making contact.

"Hey, Tara." You stop her with a hand on her shoulder. This wasn't the best place to talk, considering you had just left a class and your classmates were spilling out into the hallway, chatting and filling the space. "Can we talk about what happened yesterday?"

"You mean the tweets?" She asks with an indifferent tone, but you knew the girl well enough to recognize the clenched jaw that hinted at a touch of irritation. "You don't need to say anything. Seriously."

"But..."

"Look, really." Tara cuts you off, crossing her arms and avoiding your gaze. You could feel the growing aggression in her voice. "I'm not in the mood to hear about it right now."

You feel your heart crack a little. It seemed like Tara didn't even want to hear you say that you liked her. Was it some sort of denial? Like if she doesn't hear the words coming out of your mouth, can she pretend your feelings don't exist?

Either way, before you could retort, a familiar voice calls your name in the hallway, and you turn to see Lottie Matthews waving in your direction. But she stops and takes on a surprised expression upon noticing Tara with you. You hear a scoff, and when you turn back, Tara is already walking away, ending the conversation without waiting for your input.

A few seconds later, Lottie arrives by your side in the hallway, looking at you cautiously. "So..."

Feeling hurt not only by Tara's apparent rejection but also by how she seemed so disturbed by the idea of your feelings for her, you simply shake your head in denial, letting tears run down your face to ease the pain you felt on the inside.

You felt Lottie pull you by the wrist towards the bathroom, probably to give you more privacy in that emotional moment, and you were thankful, but you couldn't express anything other than anguish. It felt like your whole world was spinning and falling apart in pieces.

Fuck that shitty bird social media.

"What's wrong with you?!"

Tara and everyone else at the table (Chad, Mindy, and Ethan) looked up in alarm as Anika's impactful entrance echoed in. She dropped her bag onto the wooden surface with a thud and was glaring specifically at Tara with frustration.

"Baby, what-" Mindy tried to speak up, but Anika raised her index finger, and her girlfriend quickly fell silent with a final okay, adhering to the "happy wife, happy life" motto.

Everyone stared at the scene apprehensively, as it was the first time they had seen Anika so upset about something. Even Tara, who had an idea of the reason for her behavior, was just staring in a state of shock and fear.

"Listen, whatever you've done to Y/n, you need to fix it now." Anika emphasized, tapping the tip of her index finger on the table for added effect. "She's been crying her eyes out in the H building's bathroom for the past 40 minutes because of some shit you pulled."

"I… I didn't mean to…" Tara stammered and closed her eyes tightly, feeling a lump in her throat forming from guilt. Once again, Tara remembered one of Sam's warnings about seeking help to better manage her emotions and quietly cursed herself. The last thing she wanted was to hurt you, but she was like a ticking time bomb of negative feelings that unfortunately exploded onto you, who didn't deserve to suffer because of Tara's actions.

"I don't care about what you wanted or didn't want." Anika speaks sternly, not breaking eye contact with Tara. "All I know is that there's a girl who would give the world to you, crying because of your unnecessary rudeness, and you need to fix that."

Tara jumps up and gathers her things quickly, nodding in affirmation and avoiding the inquisitive gazes of their friends. "Yeah… I will. I'll apologize." The others watch her hurry off towards building H, and Anika slumps with exhaustion into the seat next to Mindy, which Tara had previously occupied.

"Do you think they'll finally confess to each other?" Mindy asks, gently petting her girlfriend's head, which now rests on her shoulder.

"They better. I can't go through this again." Anika replies, closing her eyes to enjoy the touch of her girlfriend's fingers through her hair. On the other side of the table, the guys still have wide eyes, processing what they witnessed.

"Uh… You're not gonna explain anything to us, are you?" Ethan questions, gesturing to himself and Chad with quick motions.

The two girls exchange a quick look and respond in unison. "No."

Tara's hands are trembling as she reaches the bathroom door.

Nausea churns within her due to the nervousness of the conversation she's about to have. She knows she'll need to explain the reason for being so rude, which means she'll have to tell you about her feelings, even though she anticipates you'll reject her since you already have someone else in your heart.

Would you at least accept remaining friends? Or had she ruined that option by preventing you from discussing your compromising tweets about Lottie earlier?

With one final sigh and a shake of her head, Tara decides to stop stalling and takes the first step to enter the restroom and get it over with.

The first thing she notices is your back turned towards her. Your silhouette makes it clear you have your arms crossed, leaning your hips against the sink so your weight rests on your left side. The second thing she sees is Charlotte Matthews standing in front of you, using a tissue to wipe your face, which Tara imagines is damp from tears.

Before she could do anything, the soccer player noticed her presence and her mouth formed an "O" shape. Looking between you and Tara, she quickly mumbles, "I'll leave you alone," and exits the restroom, causing you to glance back in questioning.

Tara feels the air being sucked out of her lungs as your eyes meet. Your eyes and nose are red, and she can still see traces of the glistening trail down your cheeks. She takes a step forward and places her hand on the sink, noticing that you're still keeping your arms crossed and prefer looking at your own sneakers rather than at her.

With a sigh, she's the first to break the silence. "I'm sorry about earlier today. I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's okay," you reply, shifting your right foot back and forth. Tara knows that's one of your signs of nervousness. "You can't control how you feel, right?"

The petite girl looks at you in shock, but you don't seem to notice, still looking down. Had she got it right? Did you know about her feelings? "That's true. Maybe I'm being selfish, but... I didn't want to ruin our friendship over this. Is that okay with you?"

You finally look at Tara. Your eyes widen, and you quickly nod. "Of course! I didn't want to lose you just because we're not on the same page. These things happen, right?"

Tara feels her heart ache at the sentence. Was that your way of gently rejecting her? "Yeah. These things happen."

A few seconds of uncomfortable silence pass, but neither of you move, fearing that any wrong move would spoil the small progress you've just made. Again, Tara, with her impatience, initiates the conversation, hating the absence of any sound. "I hope she makes you happy."

She watches as your expression changes to one of confusion, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted to the side. "What?"

"Lottie." Tara points back to where the girl had left a few minutes ago. "She seems... nice. You have good taste."

"You think I like Lottie?!" She's startled by the outraged tone of your question. You take a step closer, as if wanting to hear more clearly what she was saying.

"Wasn't it about her? The tweet you made?" Tara asks, more bewildered than you. "Pretty girl, brown eyes..."

"It was about you!" You burst out, unable to contain the information any longer. "I'm in love with you! The whole time, I was talking about you, Tara! I saw you in yesterday's photo, and you looked so beautiful that... hmph!"

You are silenced by Tara's soft lips meeting yours, initiating a passionate and much-needed kiss from both sides. Your hands descend to her waist as her hands pull you by the nape of your neck, trying to bring you impossibly closer.

Without breaking the kiss, you move clumsily until Tara's back is fully supported against the sink, your arms holding her in place by the hips. She sighs as you part for a breath, and a genuine smile forms on your face.

"Wow." You laugh and pull back slightly, just enough so that your noses are no longer touching. "I wasn't expecting that."

"I thought you knew I liked you." Tara laughs along, playing with the hair at the nape of your neck to try to ease the redness in her own face.

You gently stroke her hip with your thumb. "Is that what you were talking about earlier? I thought you were rejecting me."

"I thought you were rejecting me." She playfully nudges your chest with medium force. Tara's smile becomes a bit more subdued as she moves her hands from your nape to hold your face. "I'm sorry for being rude earlier and hurting you."

You shake your head. "It's okay. Now I know you were just jealous." Your tone is teasing, and you raise your eyebrows twice just to mess with Tara a little more.

"Shut up." She rolls her eyes, smiles, and pulls you by the wrist until you're out of the bathroom. "I'll make it up to you with some ice cream, what do you think?"

"If you throw in a few kisses in the middle of that offer, I might consider."

#scream #scream 5 #scream vi #scream 6 #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #scream x reader #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter imagine #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x you

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cherry-leclerc · 2 months

Text

method acting ☆ cl16

genre: series - humor, strangers to friends/roommates, fluff, smut, denial of feelings

word count: 4.6k

nsfw warning under the cut!

18+...f!receiving, fingering, dry humping

cherry here!... seeing as we're basically at the end, i will go ahead and say that this series has been based off of Roman Holiday! c'mon now guyssss - enjoy the spiciness ;)

ch. one ch. two ch. three ch. four ch. five ch. six

Chapter 4

Life, as you fear, is falling apart as you're confronted with a serious case of writer's block that puts your career on the line. As a solution, you're roommate helps you plan a solo trip to the Amalfi Coast for a much needed break but it doesn't take long for you to meet a certain Monegasque who lays passed out on the beach.

If there was a reasonable explanation of a frog finding a home deep inside your throat, then you would somehow understand because at this moment, it sure felt like it. Charles doesn’t do much apart from blinking at an extremely slow pace. You knew that day that you should have turned the other way, but like always, your curious mannerism won. Here were the consequences and now you had to deal with them. Your lips part, ready to aim meaningless excuses but instead release a shaky breath, finding it hard to make eye contact with his soft orbs.

“How did you find out?”

A stupid question, you knew that, but there wasn’t much to say. It was motifying enough now that you knew, he knew. “You remember how I always beg you to wash your hand every time you finish eating those little chocolates you like?” His lips curl. “You must have forgotten to do so the night before.”

Heat rushes all throughout your body as you come to a halt. His accent emerges with no trace of anger, but rather embarrassment of his own. Shame. Noticing you’ve stopped, he turns back to face you, only a few steps marking a distance between you two. “I don’t know what else to say other than sorry.” A sudden urgency zaps through your veins as you walk closer to him, broken cobblestones rubbing against your shoes. “That was something private and I crossed the line, Charles. Y-you don’t understand how sorry I am.”

A lazy shrug is all you receive from him as he sheepishly smiles though there’s a downcast to the act. “You don’t need to apologize. I should.” His words make you blink with confusion. No you don’t. Green eyes flicker onto the pavement before connecting back to your dreadful ones. “No, I do. I haven’t been honest.”

He visibly gulps, strong Adam’s Apple dancing its way up and down. “I’m sure you know by now. Considering you read it.” Sharp nose twitches, fingers drumming against his thigh. “But I want to hear it from you.”

Further heat rises as you furrow your brows. “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth. From what you read in between those pages, who am I to you?”

Flashes of his messy handwriting scribble its way into your fuzzy brain. Entries where he would talk about the hydraulics, whatever that meant, to depressive episodes he tries perfecting to keep out of sight. It’s sweet, raw, funny, and you ruined it for him.

“You’re just Charles. A man who enjoys spending his time playing piano, even if he can’t curve his fingers in time to hit the right notes. The one who proceeds to chuck an apple at…” You nibble on your lips, mind digging into the deepest delves as you try to remember. “Joris’ head?”

Pink blush feathers onto his cheeks as he bites his tongue. “You read that?”

A soft giggle erupts. “It was pretty entertaining.” He chuckles, but there is evidence that he was pleased by your answer. You find yourself wanting to continue. “A brunette who likes to tease a city girl when it comes to the amount of sweets she eats.” A lot, he snickers as you bite the air. “Someone who cares enough to take me on walks when I need it to calm down. Even if I don’t know it myself.” A pause. “You’re not some snotty F1 driver who brags out to the rest of the world how rich and famous he is. You’re clumsy, hilarious at an unhealthy amount that makes me think I can form a six pack without ever stepping foot in the gym, and you’re the kindest man I’ve ever met.”

Charles’ heart does an unfamiliar dip as he takes in your breathless state, as if someone’s just saved you from drowning. His feelings lunge towards you as he feels your genuine honestly. You weren’t just telling him what you thought he needed to hear, no, you were spilling it all out as if it were the easiest thing you’ve done in your entire life.

He feels stupid for keeping this from you, thinking you would betray him in some sick and twisted way. That you would think differently - treat him differently - if you knew how many zero’s took place in his net worth. How could he have ever doubted you?

Suddenly your eyes shine a little brighter, as if that were possible. Your lips blossomed into the prettiest shade of pink as you sheepishly smiled back at him. Your aroma quickly becomes his favorite scent in the world and he wishes for nothing more than for you to look at him the exact same way he looked at you.

“I’m really glad we met.”

Your smile widens. “Lo stesso qui.”

The opportunity had presented itself, landed right in the palm of your hand. The universe gave you a chance…and you blew it. Your initial thought was that you, too, would come clean, but as soon as he started moving his lips and opening up to a level you never imagined you would ever reach, you pushed it further into the back of your mind. And now days have passed and it was just weird and awful that you never mentioned it in the first place.

Times like these, you wish you had your cheerful friend to tell you what to do. Dialing her number, you patiently wait for her to pick up. Hello? The taste of home makes your heart warm as you beam. “Amelia, it's me.” A loud pitched scream flies into your ear as you pull your phone away. “I’m aware I’m missable, but there’s not need for you to-”

“I’m engaged!”

Your jaw drops, clumsy fingers navigating to press on FaceTime. The blond answers straight away, stunning diamond already being shown off as you gasp. “You’re fucking shitting me? Amelia Thompson! You’re about to be locked down for life.”

Your friend happily shrugs before hopping up and down. “This is cra- insane. This is insane. Isn’t it insane?” It’s actually very sane if you ask me. You two are meant for one another. Two peas in a pod. Her smile widens as she scrunches her nose in a playful manner. “I mean I just thought this wouldn’t happen for another year or so, but then he took me to that little park we love to go on Sunday’s and then a bird attacked him and th-”

“Back up, a bird attacked Roman?”

“Oh yeah,” she firmly states, red lips pursed as if to refrain from releasing a loud laugh. “It was a whole thing…”

Sitting there and listening to Amelia rant all the while Roman smiles as if he’s never seen a better encounter in his entire life, it suddenly hits you. Pangs your heavy chest. You were happy for the couple, over the moon, but you couldn’t help but mourn the end of an era. It only seems as if a few years ago you two were tugging heavy suitcases into your empty apartment. It would only be so long before she eventually moves out, leaving you alone. And it's not just that, but now you realize how lonely you’ve been these past few years since all you’ve ever done is dedicate your heart and soul into proving to be something you desperately wanted to be.

“Helloooo?”

Snapping out of your self pity, you blink rapidly. “Sorry.” You release a content sigh, swooning as you nuzzle your head into the crook of your elbow as you press your face against the fancy marble. “I’m so happy for you both, really.” But? “But I’m jealous Roman gets to keep my roommate. I was here first.”

Amelia giggles. “You’ll forever be my favorite roomie. Plus, Roman kicks in his sleep so it's only a matter of time before I hit him with the divorce.”

It’s only after you two hang up that you realize you still hold everything inside your chest. Sighing, you make your way out to the terrace, hoping to find some peace and tranquility. Instead you find the Monegasque blaring rock music as he does yoga. 25/50 of what you were looking for.

“Does this actually help you relax?”

Like a cat jumping out of its skin, Charles yelps as he hears your voice. He clutches his chest. “Does that answer your question?” The corners of your lips turn upward. He squinted at you, head pointing towards the house. “Good news?”

“Very. Amelia and Roman are getting married.”

His lips stretch into a sincere smile as he stands up straight. “That’s great.” Nodding, you tug your own mat as you begin to stretch. His stomach flips at the simple act.

“She deserves it. They both do.”

Even as the music blares at an alarming rate that should have you worried for your hearing, you don’t move an inch and neither does he. With slight hesitance, the brunette licks his lips. “And how are you feeling?” You blink, suddenly losing balance as you plant your bare feet. Me? He nods. “You have feelings too, right?”

“I mean, do I really have the right to say anything else other than I’m glad my friends are finally tying the knot?” Floppy curls fling forward as he pretends to nudge your shoulder with it. You bite back a grin before you twirl into a soft frown. “I’m a bit sad.” A small click coming from him is enough for you to continue. “I guess I’m just not used to being alone. Amelia has been with me for as long as I can remember.”

“And she’ll always be there, you know? Only now, she’ll have a different last name and shiny ring.”

You roll your eyes. “What I mean is that it's starting to hit me. How far I’ve fallen behind in the dating category. All those times I’ve been asked out, I pushed them all away because I either had too much work or wanted to spend time with my friends. Now they’re getting married and I’m just kind of…here. I wish I knew what I was turning down.”

The Monegasque lets out a light whistle, fingers snapping as he stares off into the distance. “I would like to pretend that I don’t know what you mean, but I do. Racing is everything to me - it’s what makes me happy - but that won’t always be there. It's a scary thought to have, I know, but that's the way the world works. We need to grow up even after we’ve grown up. It’s a thing that continues for a lifetime and ends with death.”

Your eyes widen with alarm as you gasp at his gloomy perspective. What if you were still wasting time? For sure you still were, but what were you doing with your life? You’re just a broke girl who forms relationships with people you love to spend time with only to use their words for your benefit. A dark chuckle roars from your roommate as he quirks his head. Don’t get too freaked out. “Don’t scare me then.”

Charles shrugs nonchalantly. “You’ll meet someone soon. Someone who will love you as much as you love your piles of junk food.” You aim a sour scowl. He snickers, but continues. “And you’ll realize that all the worrying was for nothing.” The soft sound of waves crashing fills the silence. “But please invite me to the wedding.”

There’s a soft glow to you when you let out a bittersweet smile. “You promise you would go?”

“I thought I made that clear when I said I would go wherever you are.”

Your breath hitches, a gust of wind nearly knocking you down just as efficiently to his meaningful words. Forcing yourself to look away, you press your lips into a fine line, head bobbing in understandment. He shifts. “Teach me a few poses?” you ask, signaling to the mat.

Let me taste your silhouette. You can talk between my legs.

“Oh um,” he stutters, red painting his entire face, briskly reaching to turn the music down. You suppress a giggle as you stare back blankly, lips occasionally wobbling, threatening to let out a teasing smile. “I-I-I don’t usually hear music like this. I m-mean - I do - but…it helps me relax.”

Giving up, your lips stretch, eyes crinkling with amusement. “You get more interesting day by day, Charles Leclerc.”

It’s now Monday and you still haven’t met your word count. It should be easy, you have lots of useful information, but every single time your fingers glaze over the mocking letters, you only think about how terrible of a friend this all makes you. And it’s as if Eleanor knows your lack of work, lengthy emails entering your inbox with daily reminders about your due date. It doesn’t help either that the green eyed boy keeps reminding you about the last two weeks you two have together.

“I’ve just gotten so used to you,” he pronounces as he cuts up fresh peaches. “It’s going to feel wrong not seeing you often.”

Your fingers come to a halt. “Let’s just not think about it. How about a round of Truth or Dare?” You wiggle your brows. “Game?”

“Game.”

“Truth or Dare?” Dare, he eagerly spits out, anticipation evident. “Okay. What does the golden pin actually stand for?”

He scrunches a teasing brow. “You really thought this one through - used your brain. I’m impressed.” You hiss, pen barely missing his head. He cackles nonetheless at your childish behavior. “It’s sort of the same thing as I told you that day. He did say to go retrieve it when I got a Ferrari.”

Now it’s your turn to bunch your neat brows. “But you already own a Ferrari.” A slow smirk paints your lips. “Oh! You want to brag!”

“No,” he scolds. “Would you let me finish?” Relaxing against the pillows, you nod. “When I got a Ferrari championship. Only then could go get this mysterious horse. I think he thought I could do it.”

Your heart twists as you note his wretched smile. “Do you think you can?”

He sighs. “I’m actually not sure. Y’know when I first joined the team, I really thought I could. I mean, everyone around me was telling me how great I was, how my long contract must have meant I was extremely worthy. Now all I get are pity stares. High expectations that have me second guessing everything.” He turns to you. “But then the church was about to be demolished, so I had to go get it regardless.”

Licking your dry lips, you nibble before releasing. “I know you can do it. He might not be here to let you know anymore, but I am. And I know you can.” A beat. “Is that why you gave it to me?”

The brunette winces before tilting his head. “I don’t deserve it.”

In a single movement, you hurriedly crawl over to him as you slap him. Suddenly he’s on high alert as he grabs his cheek in pain. What the fuck? You smile sheepishly. “Don’t you dare say shit like that, Charles Leclerc. You have to believe in yourself the same way you did when you were a kid…I’m keeping the pin.”

His gaze darkens. “Oh, so you don’t believe I’m going to ever get a Championship either?”

“Don’t be stupid. I know you will, but I’ll take care of it for you. That way you have something to work for. I’ll be your temple,” you offer as he quirks a brow.

“My temple?”

You hum. “They’re knocking down the other, so I’ll take over. And I’m just letting you know right now that I’m not giving it up that easily. You have to work really fucking hard.”

Charles’ pulse speeds at your determination and belief, so much so, that a certain kind of pride that had left him long ago returned. He could do this, he could win. He would win. Even if it killed him. An unknown flicker strikes his green eyes as your stomach churns.

“You’re not like the others I’ve met…” He grabs your hand, making you flinch in surprise. “I’m going to do it. For you.”

It’s as if he stole your breath away as you struggle to regain your composure. “...And for him.” His grin never once melts away as he squints a shy eye, lashes fluttering. That was implied, too. You’re the first to pull away as you purse your lips. “Your turn. I pick Dare.”

The Monegasque coughs. “I dare you to tell me a secret.”

Your smile falters. “Don’t you think you have to work for it? I can’t just give it up like that.” Shaking your head and crossing your arms, you pout.

“Oh, come on! It could be any. Your pick.”

“How generous,” you murmur. “I dented your car.”

He gapes, eyes zigzagging as he forces a smile. “No, you said it was a little boy who kicked a soccer ball.”

You wince. “I was trying to back out of the driveway to go get us some donuts and I wasn’t looking and next thing I knew…” You’re rambling for sure. “It’s not that bad?”

Charles groans. “I told off the first little kid who passed by with a soccer ball, thank you for that.”

You shriek. “Liar! No! What did you say?”

A smirk slithers onto his face. “I’m totally kidding, I knew it was you.”

“But-”

“I heard when it happened - it’s what woke me up in the first place. I stood up to check and saw you driving away.”

“I’m sorry,” you chirp. “You shouldn’t have left the key out like that for me to grab! So if you really think about it, it’s kind of your fault.”

“Of course it is,” he pressed with amusement. “I forgive pretty easily, so I’ll let you off the hook.” Your palms sweat with uneasiness. “Your turn. I pick Truth.”

It’s as if you’ve suddenly become extremely dehydrated as you blink back blankly. “Got a crush on anyone back home?”

“Skip.”

This gets you curious as you arch your brow. The Monegasque goes to extreme lengths to avoid eye contact. “You have to answer, that’s not how the game works. I promise I won’t tease.”

Long fingers drum against his lap as he whips his head, shaggy hair brushing along his face. “Maybe so, but I’m using my free pass.”

You let out a heavy heave. “What are you talking about?”

“Remember I gave you a free pass when we first played Truth or Dare by the shore and I said I would only let you skip if I got one of those in return? Okay, well, I’m using it now.”

“Wha- that’s not fair! That was so long ago, it doesn’t even count.”

He chuckles. “Yes it does.”

With a sour expression, you huff and cross your arms. “Fine. I don’t want to play anymore.”

“You’re choice.”

The remainder of the day was spent with you locked away and Charles on a business call. Now that you knew what he was hiding, it was easier for him to get some work done. Either way, it worked out because before you knew it, you were nearly done. And he was clearly bothered.

“Looks like someone chewed your ear off.”

The Monegasque cringes at the brutal image as he sighs. “Do we have any more ice cream?”

“Nope. Finished it last night.” Analyzing his tense shoulders, you step closer to him as you tilt your head. “It won’t help you get over whatever’s on your mind, though. Want to talk about it?”

He extends his long legs underneath the table, head rolling back as he groans. You shiver, a pool forming in between your legs at the sight. Your body’s reaction feels filthy as you shake your thoughts away. “I was on the phone with my manager. They signed the contract. They actually did it.” He squeezes his eyes in disbelief.

“What contract?”

The brunette finally opened his green orbs, annoyance circling them. “Looks like I’m getting a new partner.”

This comes as a complete shock to you as you make your way to an open chair. “When? Who?”

“Starting 2025. Lewis Hamilton.” Kicking an empty chair away, he grunts. “Oh my God, and here I was thinking I had a chance…” He laughs hysterically. “A chance.”

Seeing him so distraught made your stomach hurt as you shook your head along with him. “I don’t see how this is a bad thing…change is good, no?”

A soft chuckles flies past him as he angles his head to catch your puppy lost state. “First of all, I really enjoyed having Carlos as a teammate. We worked well together. Second of all, compare me - a twenty six year old with five wins in his entire career - to a seven time World Champion.” His shoulders droop. “Who do you think is going to get all the attention and support from the team?”

Your lips part, then snap back shut. He smiles, already shrugging it all off. “It was doomed from the start, I don’t know why I’m so surprised.” Loopy eyes hug your sympathetic ones. “I just don’t want to let you down.”

Frowning hard, you tsk your tongue. “I have a feeling it’s impossible for you to do that. You’ve got this, have a little faith.” Slipping away from your seat, you stand next to his exhausted state, where his body continues to hang like a wet dog. “Will it be easy? No, probably not. But the best things take work. It makes it worth it all at the very end. You’ll see, Charles.”

“How is it that you have so much hope in me?” he whispered meekly, face slightly pale.

Brushing a strand of hair behind your ear, you raise your shoulders high. “Because I’m a firm believer that you will accomplish yours and your father’s dream. And I know what you’re feeling, I’ve been on that same boat before, I’m quite familiar.” I sort of still am, you conscious barks back.

For a moment, he lays still, green eyes taking you in, low breaths. Everything about this situation made you feel like a kettle, ready to cry out. There was something so intimate and raw with the way he was looking at you. As if you hung the stars up for him. You’ve never been one to stick around, so it came as no surprise to tear your gaze away, wobbly feet stepping back. “Just don’t-”

His hands are slightly slippery from his palms sweating. His chest is freakishly warm from his blood pumping. And his cock was most definitely hard.

Shifting on top of his lap, you giggle nervously as you try to avoid the lust in his eyes. And the heat in the pit of your stomach. “No, we said…” You furrow your brows. “This is wei-”

“No, you said that. I only played along.”

Inhaling sharply, you shake your head, hair practically whipping his face as he smiles gingerly. “You said the kiss was weird! I said the kiss was weird - we agreed.”

It’s his turn to narrow his eyes at you, large hands gripping your waist, keeping you from running away. “The situation was weird, but I’ve never felt a pair of lips feel so right against mine.” Long fingers trace your bare thigh. “I know you feel it too.”

“Your boner, yes, how could I not?” you hiss, face burning crimson red. “You’re going to ruin it-”

“No I won’t.”

“You’re going to regret it-”

His gaze darkens. “The only thing I’ve regretted so far is not telling you how I feel about you and not having kissed you the way I wanted to.” Green eyes soften up, almost pleading you. “Fuck. I need to - you don’t get it, I need to kiss you, amore. I swear to God if you say no, I might lose my mind.”

Your head begins to spin as you balance your hands on his broad shoulder. Behind your better judgment, you know you shouldn’t. This would only make things worse because you know the moment you lock lips with him and he finds out what you’ve done, how long you’ve lied, he’ll be so disgusted by you completely.

But like always, you push that all aside.

You basically pounce on him as you smash your lips to his. It was hot, it was heavy, you could feel his teeth clash with yours, his tongue sliding inside your warm mouth. He grunts deeply, pushing your hips down on him as you gasp. Arousal drips past your silky legs, already forming a wet patch against his denim jeans. Charles groans loudly at the feeling. Whimpering, you tangle a clumsy hand through his messy hair.

“You’re telling me this is ‘weird’ to you?” he teases against your pouty lips, pants entering your mouth as you whine like a kid at the dentist.

“You’re insufferable.”

“You won’t be saying that in a few minutes.”

Swiftly, he stands up, setting you down on his chair. You’re confused with his actions as you desperately try reaching out for him. He lets out a dark chuckle. Then, he’s kneeling down in front of you, bringing the chair closer to him. Oh God. The sound of the wooden chair squeaking is enough for you to snap out of it and blink rapidly, as if this were all a dream. He grins wickedly.

A beautiful fucking dream.

Shivering at the feeling of his calloused digits, you bring your brows together. He plays with the hem of your dress for a few seconds before sliding it up, cock growing harder at the sight of your red panties. “These dresses have been driving me crazy from the moment I met you.” He presses a sloppy kiss against your clothed center. “So pretty…”

“Charles…”

He cuts you off the moment he slides the thin material to the side, tip of his fingers rubbing your wet lips. Moaning, you instinctively drape your legs over his massive shoulders. With your entire strength, you try bringing his face closer to where you need him. He lets out a loud laugh.

“You really think you can push me down onto you?” He signals like a know-it-all. “Neck strength, baby, neck strength.”

“I don’t care if you’re a racing driver and that’s your entire exercise agenda, do something.”

That’s the only green flag he needs to dive in, sliding his tongue like an animal. Arching your back against the chair, one hand finds a home in his brown lock and the other grips around the armrest. Dizzy with his fast movements, you squeal when he sucks hard against your clit.

“You’re crazy,” you manage to pant before clenching around his digits that have now entered the equation. And he just curls them so deliciously inside on you that you begin to worry you might finish against his handsome face.

Pulling away, he looks up at you through dark lashes, a sly expression evident. “And you’re irresistible, perfect…” He growls when your hole tightens around his fingers, how your juices pour out. He can’t help but lick you clean, sighing against your thigh. “Simply perfect.”

It’s a haze and you barely have room to breathe, much less give him a fair warning, because suddenly your white nectar takes over and hits him all at once. You’re moaning loudly, he’s groaning as he slurps needily. It was just all too much.

And you didn’t deserve any of it.

Your chest rises up and down as you struggle to breath regularly again. It helps when he traces shapes around your legs, hot breaths of his own hugging your humid skin. His eyes take in your state as he looks up at you with complete defeat.

“How am I supposed to stay away from you, ange?”

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