#that’s…. I just……how can you legitimately say to me that I don’t know what I want or that I don’t actually have an identity

[linberlyy]

HBO recently released a new video with mini-interviews with actors on green/black team. And do you know what conclusion we made? Our greens actors are so afraid to express their opinions and views on the actions of the characters that they begin to laugh them off, albeit in short phrases, and explain what we already know.

Just take a look:

Tom: “Why should Team Green be on the throne and not Team Black? My name is on the lease for the castle." (We know, Tom, how much you get hated, and we understand that this is all you can say in principle at such events).

Fabien: “I think it's more a loyalty thing for Cole. I think it's his loyalty to Alicent. He wants what she wants. I myself… no comments.” (I was already shy at the end, you are our sunshine).

Ewan: “Aemond, he was bullied and wronged as a kid. They carved his eye out. He bounced back. He put a sapphire gemstone in his eye. And yeah, they're gonna get what's coming to them.” (Here Ewan revealed what we've already...sort of...seen? Why do we need a summary of the events of the first season? Even the last encrypted phrase sounded without the connotation we needed, so that, obviously, God forbid, we put him against mailwife Daemon, against whom he is nothing).

Olivia: "We have bigger dragons." (Poor Olivia, she was hated, it seems, more than anyone else. She looks thinner and tighter. I really hope that we are wrong. They didn’t even say the words in using their party, just so as not to cause a storm of negativity, how dare this ungrateful person go against Rhaenyra!)

While the actors of the opposite side can afford to make too eloquent and provocative statements, it is clear that most of the normies will support them and begin to squeal with delight:

Steve: “Team Black should be on the throne instead of Team Green. Team Green are usurpers. Team Black are the rightful heirs. They were named by the King. They're just better looking, generally.” (Even green actors cannot afford to call their characters “legitimate” and make any comments in favor of the opposite side, but here there is just basic cringe. Everything we like).

Eve: “They're the best. And the annoying people are pretty obviously the Greens. They're all just a bunch of knobs, and they need their heads being knocked together." (No comments, right? Everything is clear here).

Harry: “Team Black are decent people. We are more of a functioning family. We do things the right way." (The funny thing is that the whole Dance is the struggle of ONE family. The fact that EVEN the actors divide both groups into TWO different families already says something, and we do not take this into account, as it is about the same persons in the scripts).

Phoebe: “I think we love each other way more. I think we have a family base that is incredible. (Yes, let's also compare who loves whom more).

Bethany: “Team Black are the most fun. We get on the most. They all hate each other. „You have no idea the sacrifices that were made to put you on the throne“. (In the video, after the actress’s words, they accidentally removed Alicent and Aegon from the trailer, obviously, there was a visible emphasis on the fact that there is no love in the green family, and in general they watched without exception, but with their black maniacs, everything is cool with them).

Matt: “My uncle is a challenge I welcome. If he dares face me." No chance. I'm coming for his head. I'm gonna put it on a spike. Me and Rhaenyra, there's a bloodline to us, isn't there? We're the thoroughbreds." (Compare Ewan's lines with his. There is a big difference. Matt has the ability to say things like this to please the surviving fans, while Ewan does not, because all he gets in response is judgment, hate speech and swearing. And the phrase “We're the thoroughbreds” each time comes closer and closer to the name of H*tler with his “pure Aryan blood”, don’t blame me).

Emma: "We have madness on our side. And we have a powerful naval presence. Thanks to the Velaryon fleet." (Ok, do we need to remind you in what right and wrong ways the characters got it? Do the Velaryons themselves even know what the key is? However, Emma’s words carry disgust, like the words of her fellow actors, so she’s just a bun. Thanks for that too).

Does anyone have any other suggestions as to which side we present to get our ass kissed? The answer is obvious.

#hotd #anti team black #houseofthedragon #pro team green #team green #the greens #aegon ii targaryen #aemond targaryen #pro alicent hightower #alicent hightower #criston cole #olivia cooke #ewan mitchell #fabien frankel #tom glynn carney

[pepprs]

i wish i wasn’t depressed lol

#or whatever it is i am. it’s really making things hard. i feel like i suck except i don’t actually suck it’s just that i feel like i do and #feeling like i do actually makes me suck legitimately. so whatever #purrs #i don’t even know how to put it into words. im stuck in my life and if im not stuck im falling behind. i kinda got in trouble at work a #little bit for not staying on top of these 2 things and i feel so horrible abt it bc it was my idea to do it in the first place but i bit #off more than i can chew which is what i always seem to do. im falling behind or stuck in every possible aspect of my life rn it’s sooooo um #not great. and i feel insignificant and small constantly and anyway i have to worry about grad school LOL. pain #i don’t even know how to say it right like that’s how sad i am. i can’t even articulate it. im exhausted especially with myself. #i wish i could just snap my fingers and stop being miserable bc it makes everyone else around me miserable but i don’t know how to stop #like if you think about it i am kind of bad at my job. the worst possible thing for me to be. ermmmmmm 🤭

[jorvikzelda]

wondered, stupidly, why i was having the stomachache of my lifetime. then remembered there was Normal Dairy in my dinner and i forgot, stupidly, to eat lactase pills. but I guess that’s my monthly validation that I am, indeed, lactose intolerant.

#sometimes I’m like. what if I’m not lactose intolerant and it’s all in my head. Maybe I was just imagining it. #And then something like this happens and I’m like yeah no I cannot have that stuff #Funny story is me and my mum used to be able to have lactose #But then we found out my sister is lactose intolerant #and it was annoying to have both lactose and lactose free dairy products in the house because we had to like. #keep track of who was allowed to eat what #So we just started getting lactose free stuff across the board #And then… my mum and I legitimately DEVELOPED LACTOSE INTOLERANFE #I don’t know if doctors say this is a thing that can happen but idc it happened to me. #Firmly believe my body just went. Oh we’re not using lactase enzymes anymore? Ok fantastic let’s forget how to make them. Don’t need that #YES YOU DO???? #also yes I am self diagnosed lactose intolerant what are u gonna do about it #There is no other explanation #It big time sucks though because it makes my groceries more expensive #z talks #not horse game

[beenbaanbuun]

cold w/ san

words - short-ish

genre - fluff

warnings - san gets a little gaslight-y but he’s joking, i promise

——————————————————————————

“san, i’m cold,” you pout at your boyfriend. he’s been hogging the blankets all night, leaving you to shiver on your side of the coach. of course, you know what his plan is since he does it every single time it’s cold outside, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going to make him work for it, “just one blanket! you have so many…”

he shakes his head, tightening his grip on the fuzzy material as if you’re going to physically rip it from his grasp. you’re not. you’ve tried that a few times before and not even the element of surprise could help you overpower the sheer strength that man has. who’d have thought the man in the fuzziest hoodie known to man and the most adorable sulky pout on his face would actually be the human equivalent of the hulk?

“no chance,” he growls through his puckered lips, and you have to stifle a giggle at how adorable he is. the temptation to just give in is growing stronger by the second, but you have to stay strong, “you’d be so much warmer if you just came and cuddled with me!”

“i would, wouldn’t i,” you agree, “i’d also be warmer if you gave up your blankets!”

“not happening, princess,” you watch as he balls the blankets up in his lap, just as an extra precaution. you roll your eyes at his paranoia; even if you could somehow get hold of one, the blanket would definitely rip before you could tear it away from his gorilla grasp. you know that from experience too, “either you come over here and cuddle me, or you stay cold! you know the rules.”

there were no rules. san just likes to say there are so his illegitimate methods of getting you to cuddle could be excused by him. this is precisely why you make him work for it; if he’s going to cheat the system, he’s going to have to pay for it.

“and since when has there been a rule that states that if i don’t want hypothermia, i have to cuddle with you?”

“since forever,” he claims.

“do i not cuddle you enough on literally every other day?” he pauses at that, scowling at you. you’re trying to cheat his very legitimate system by using your favourite method - guilt tripping. san doesn’t appreciate that.

“sue me for wanting to be attached to your hip 24/7,” he rolls his eyes dramatically, “maybe i just feel stronger about this whole relationship than you do, i don’t know…”

you gasp, letting your jaw drop to the floor. the smirk on his face tells you that he knows he’s won.

“choi san, you did not just say that!” you shuffle closer - dangerously close, actually - so you can slap his shoulder as punishment for saying such a mean thing. you do it quickly, so he doesn’t have time to drop the blankets and snatch you up into his manipulative little grasp, “i know i taught you what gaslighting means, but that doesn’t mean you can start doing it to me, you bitch!”

he just shrugs, a proud smirk on his face.

“all is fair in love and war, baby!” you give him an unamused laugh, “and i love you to pieces, but i need to win this war. i did mean it when i said i want to be attached to your hip 24/7.”

you pause for a second, contemplating your options. san smirks, knowing he has you dead to right. all it’s going to take is just one more push and you’d be right where he wants you - in his arms being smothered in all the love he keeps in his body.

“just come cuddle,” he coos, “you already know you’ve lost.”

and you do know that, but the smug look on his face makes you want to hold back for just a little longer. you can’t feel your toes anymore though, and you know that if you go and cuddle san he’ll definitely hold them and warm them up with his stupid radiator hands. your fingers lack feeling too, and the thought of tucking them inside his fluffy jumper and holding them against his smooth stomach is just too tempting.

perhaps you’re ready to wave the white flag of defeat.

“fine,” you spit, throwing your hands up in the air in exasperation. the blankets are immediately shoved to the floor by san as he frees up space on his lap. begrudgingly you replace them, folding your arms to sulk as he wraps his own around your waist. you lean into his body, because despite your (mock) anger, you can’t deny yourself warmth in the form of your human hot water bottle for much longer, “but i’m still mad about that comment you made.”

he uses a hand to push your head under his chin.

“hush, brat,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your hairline, “besides, it’s kind of your own fault for making me work so hard.”

“stop trying to gaslight me!”

#ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez oneshot #ateez scenarios #ateez fluff #ateez fic #san fic #san fluff #san fanfic #san oneshot

[actiniumwrites]

kiss me (not)

synopsis: how they’d react when you dodge/ wipe off their kisses for a day as a prank

characters: gaming, kujou sara, heizou, tighnari, cyno, kaveh, and lyney x gn!reader

warnings: fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, some humor, established relationships, etc

notes: i love this prompt so much omg. i’ve read a lot of fics other people have written for different fandoms and i’m actually shocked i haven’t written it before considering i eat it up every time (especially when there’s some angst 🫠)

gaming:

the first time he sees you wipe off his kiss, something in him dies a little, especially when you don’t say anything after he asks if you’re okay

so he starts doubting himself and compensating for where he may went wrong

maybe he had bad breath? or you weren’t having a good day today?

he hates that he doesn’t know what he did wrong, and even worse, why you keep doing it throughout the day

you only stop when you see the way he genuinely starts beating himself up over it, deciding it wasn’t funny anymore and honestly never was

“it was a prank,” you nudge him softly, regret overflowing from your voice, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. i shouldn’t have kept it going for so long.”

a relieved breathe and a small smile from him follow right after. you can tell he’s still a bit stuck on the whole thing, but deep down, he’s just grateful he didn’t screw up somewhere because there’s no way in hell gaming would ever let himself lose you

“it’s okay,” he breathes out, clutching your hand a little tighter than usual, “just please, don’t do it again, okay?”

kujou sara:

to say she’s confused is an understatement

she’ll immediately backtrack to make sure she actually just saw that correctly. did you really just wipe off her kiss?

so she goes in for another one, and sure enough, you dodge her this time and send her a quick goodbye before slipping out of the house and running off to work

it legitimately ruins her whole day. she can’t even function at work because it’s all she can think about

and by the time she’s home at night, she’s already tired and just wants you but she’s also too afraid that maybe she did something to upset you

fortunately for her, you spare her of the prank knowing your girlfriend well enough to know that the second she walks through the door she had a shitty day

so you apologize and tell her it was just a prank and you didn’t mean any harm

and she wants to be so mad at you for it, but literally can’t no matter how hard she tries so instead she just gives in and gets the kiss she’s been thinking about all day

heizou:

he realizes right away what you’re doing and finds it rather amusing

so he’ll play along too, not trying to kiss you at all and even going a step further and not showing you any sort of physical attention

try to hold his hand? not happening. hugging him? not a chance

and it ends up becoming a competition, because what can you say? you’re both competitive people

goes on until the end of the day and only ends when you’re both too tired to keep it up

“you’re no fun, you know?” you poke his chest as you tiredly lean against him

he smiles down at you, “how so? i let you play your little pranks, didn’t i? i even played along.”

you just scoff and scoot away, tucking yourself into the warm blankets and ignoring his teasing

but then he’ll grab you and pull you into his chest, giving into you, “fine. next time i’ll give you the reaction you want. happy now?”

tighnari:

the opposite of heizou: he’s very unamused, and is very aware of what’s going on.

as soon as you back away from him after he tries to kiss you, his face falls into a deadpan and he crosses his arms menacingly

“i’ll have you know i don’t find pranks like these very funny,” he’ll immediately tell you off, not wanting to act so childishly when it comes to affection

tighnari cares a lot about people, whether he shows it or not, so to have you pretend to dodge it upsets him — even if it is meant to be a mere lighthearted prank

so you apologize instantly, feeling a little bad over the whole ordeal, “it’s just a prank, you know? i thought it would be funny to see how you’d react.”

definitely the kind of person to feel a little bashful and guilty for overreacting over something so silly, but also doesn’t want to admit it

so he’ll just silently kiss you and act like nothing happened, secretly hoping you’ll never try to pull something like that again

cyno:

at first, he thinks it’s kinda funny since he always plays jokes. however, i think he’s similar to tighnari in the sense that he also takes a little offense to it

like, he knows it’s a joke, but he just can’t help feeling a little hurt over it

“is something the matter?” he’ll ask while you’re both on the way to meet with friends. you shake your head no, fighting a smile

defeatedly, he leaves it at that, knowing you won’t budge. he’ll feel miserable the entire time and won’t stop thinking about how you won’t give the prank up, even in front of your friends

and when you both leave for the night, he crosses his arms and confronts you as you both walk home, “it isn’t funny.”

“what isn’t funny?”

“your prank. it isn’t funny. i don’t like the way you’re avoiding kissing me,” he says bluntly. it makes your heart sink into your stomach a bit, admittedly starting to feel a bit bad

so you apologize and work everything out, telling him you got the idea from alhaitham who was curious to see how he’d react in a situation like that — that, and he felt like pissing cyno off for a day, but you didn’t need to know that part

he’ll get frustrated, but is glad it’s all settled. he’ll also be extra affectionate throughout the next week, feeling as if he somehow lost time with you

kaveh:

gets so offended omg he will literally hate you

the first time you do it, his jaw drops to the floor and he calls you out on it immediately

“what was that?” he points an accusatory finger at you

you bite back a smile and feign innocence, “huh? what are you talking about?”

will not let you leave for the day until you drop the act and properly return his kiss

when you continue to go on with the prank, however, he’ll start to get all pouty and just ask you to kiss him

and he just looks so cute that you cup his face and give him a big fat kiss and walk out the door immediately after without a word and a big smile on your face, satisfied with his reaction

lyney:

he gets so dramatic about it it’s not even funny

will literally clutch his chest and fall to the ground in public so that you stop him

when you don’t and you let him face public humiliation (because you find it funny too), he stops himself and gets back up

follows you around like a lost puppy all day and will constantly try to sneak in a kiss while you’re caught of guard, but you never fall for it and he gets so much more frustrated each and every time

then he begs lynette and freminet to help him, except they think it’s funny too seeing how whipped he is for you

and he knows it’s a prank too, but the fact that you won’t break makes him so lovingly annoyed with you

you don’t stop until lynette genuinely intervenes, complaining about how annoying lyney had gotten throughout the day, “please end his suffering already. you know my brother is an idiot who doesn’t shut up and i’ve had enough of him today.”

you laugh it off, but ultimately agree

so you go and find him, which wasn’t that hard, and tap him on the shoulder before planting a gentle kiss to his lips, “sorry for pranking you. it was just too funny of an opportunity to pass up.”

“you’re so mean to me,” he’ll complain, but will then continue to kiss you so often that you’re now the annoyed one instead

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact fanfiction #gaming x reader #gaming x you #kujou sara x reader #kujou sara x you #heizou x reader #heizou x you #tighnari x reader #tighnari x you #cyno x reader #cyno x you #kaveh x reader #kaveh x you #lyney x reader #lyney x you

[the-soliloquies-of-sadists]

#387

“Hey Michael, do we really need to go through all this? You know why you are here, right?… Yeah you are here to be an intern, but did your dad tell you what you would be doing?… Jesus! He didn’t! Well shit! I’m just going to be blunt; there’s no reason to be coy here….

“Do you recognize me?… We met a few years ago at the company Fourth of July picnic. Yeah, I’m the Chief Security Officer of the company your dad works for. When your dad was in my office, going over this very last-minute two-week business trip to Vegas, he was saying that he was worried about you being alone for all that time. I reminded him that you are of age and should be responsible to be alone. He started going on and on that he was worried about you getting in with the wrong crowd. I laughed and said you spend most of your afternoons in the back theater of Ruby’s bookstore taking dick after dick and that the wrong crowd would be all the tradies who work the docks.

“Ha ha. If your dad didn’t know you were a sperm burper, he does now. The panicked look on your face says that you didn’t tell him. Oh well not my problem. He didn’t seem too phased by it though.

“A bit later we were talking about the expansion of our sites in Amsterdam and Munich. He started dropping hints that he wanted a promotion. I started to laugh. I told him that the Executive team, especially the CEO, Bryce Mullins, doesn’t think he’s upper management material. Your dad asked what he could do to change Bryce’s mind. I told him point blank, ‘Offer Bryce your son to fuck.’

“Oh yeah, we were talking about you. I bet he didn’t tell you all that when he said you that you could get an internship with us, now did he?… I didn’t think so. Yeah, if your dad allowed the CEO of the company to breed your cute little ass, he might just get that promotion and raise.

“And it’s not just Bryce, but me too…. What? You think I would conduct an interview for a legitimate intern at my private residence wearing a pair of swimming trunks?… Seriously, you would think that? Bryce and I go back decades to when we were both in the Corps. We would pick up a faggot like you just off base and take him to our motel room and fuck that cunt good. After the Corps, we met Ben Tutwiler who shares our affinity of using and abusing boys like you. The three of us formed this company. He’s the Chief Operating Officer, and he’s going to fuck you this week as well. Although, it will probably just a few times. He’s grown closer to his own faggot.

“Yeah, our company is founded by three fag fuckers. About five or six years ago we brought on our fourth fag fucking executive, our Chief Financial Officer Gary Roberts. Now you probably don’t realize this, but he’s already fucked you a few times. He’s a frequent patron of the same Ruby’s bookstore as you. How do you think we first heard about you being a cum dump whore? In case you were wondering, he’s the one who holds you head firmly in place while he instructs the men to back their asses onto your tongue.

“…Oh that got a smile out of you. You know who he is, hunh? Good. The four of us have specific tastes in our faggots. And each one of us will… interview you.

“We start now. Get naked faggot.

“…You can instantly follow orders. That’s good. Should you get hired as our intern, you won’t be wearing much around here. Come to think about it, you won’t have many possessions.

“Hell, like any other intern you work for free. Don’t worry, we’ll pay off your debts, which isn’t much.

“Nice body. You shaved? That’s a bonus. You will be kept hairless; Bryce will insist on it. Nice ass. Bend over and show me your cunt. Goddamned! You’re wearing a plug? I love it. Shit it out….

“Oh wait a moment, you’re loaded up! When was the last time you got fucked?… Lunchtime? At Ruby’s? How many loads are in you now? You don’t know!

“HA! I fucking love it. You come to what you think is a legitimate job interview, with your cunt loaded and plugged up. That’s fucking great. Take it out but clamp down. I want those loads to ferment in you a little longer…. Good. Good. That’s an interesting plug. It’s very stumpy. Perfect size for it to go in your mouth. You do realize that anything that comes out of your cunt should be cleaned off in your mouth? No, don’t lick it, just hold it in place.

“Follow me. Here let me give you something to look at, my ass. I may be fifty-nine, but my ass is still beefy like a 30-year-old who works out three hours a day. I don’t see you, but I know you are thinking about eating it. Don’t worry, like Gary, I love getting tongue fucked. You will be licking my shithole several times a day along with every other sweaty part of my body.

“OK. This pool house will be where you are going to be for the next couple weeks. I purchased this estate because of it. I put a lot of money into this space so that the four of us have a place to go to use faggots however and whenever we want. Mostly it will be you. Sometimes on game day, Ben will bring his boy over and both of you will serve and service us. It usually ends with a fuck fest of four on two.

“The two bedrooms are converted into a play space and a gym. You’ll sleep in the walk-in closet on a cot. The closet also doubles as a sling room when needed.

“Don’t be intimidated by all the sex furniture we have in here. Most of the time it goes unused, except for parties. The fuck bench is probably what you will spend most of your time on. Gary will definitely have you under the rimseat here or there’s another one in the bathroom. Ben will have you on the St. Andrew’s cross. That cupboard over there is nothing but various ropes, chains, leather restraints, plastic ties, rubber, and so on. If there’s a way to tie you up, Ben has it here.

“Speaking of which, here help me put these wrist and ankle cuffs on. You’ll have these on the entire time. It’ll make securing you into different positions easier. Ben likes to see them on the faggots we have here. He has had them on his boy for as long as they have been together. Here, let me put the padlocks on; we will be the ones to control when they come off…. Good. You’ll get to try them out on the St. Andrew’s cross over there.

“On your knees and lean forward. While Ben will like tie you down, Bryce likes to control you. This collar symbolizes that. When a faggot cunt is collared, it knows that it is not in charge, that it is owned, and that it is merely an object for real men to use. And that click of the lock now cements everything.

“I can see you are excited about this. Your pecker is leaking. You know what? So is mine. Look at it. I want you to beat off. This will be the first and last time you are cumming while here. So make it good. A pecker cage will be going on after you shoot.

“Then I’m gonna use your cum as my lube. Get your knees spread wide. Fuck this is beautiful. I have a faggot to play with for the next few weeks, maybe longer. Three of my best buds will share in your holes. You really have me leaking back here. I’m enjoying the view of your ass and back, thinking how good my arm would look going up your cunt.

“But I need to do this first. Hold your head still. This is a strap that will hold that plug in your mouth.

“Damn! That arm is going a mile a minute. Somehow let me know when you are close to cumming. I want to know the exact moment.

“Just think about your time here. You will be serving four men pretty much non-stop. Other men will be brought by. We may work you at the same time, but more often than not it’s done one-on-one.

“I want to fuck that cunt of yours, but I want your load first. So hurry the fuck up. My cock is ready to explode.

“From you grunts, you about to cum?… Good. Remember to collect it in your hand. I want you to cum on the count of five. One… Two… Three… Get ready. Four… And FIVE! Shoot!

“…Ha Ha Ha! You weren’t expecting that ball kick from behind, were ya? You faggots never do. Did you get any cum in your hand?… No? That sucks for you.

“What’s wrong? Your neck? Ohhhh. I forgot to mention. That collar is wired up. We can deliver painful shocks to you at any time. In case you were wondering, the shock was probably delivered by Bryce who is also in Vegas. This place is wired up with over one hundred cameras with microphones. Like any one of us, he has the ability of watching and probably was. I’m surprised he hasn’t said anything; the speaker system can broadcast orders to you, from anywhere in the world, and from any one of us.

“Roll over on your stomach and get your ass up in the air. I don’t give a shit that you are in pain from my ball kick and a shock from your collar. I want your cunt. You know what? I need a spreader bar first…. This one will do.

“I have nearly forty years in security and surveillance. There are sensors all over my property. You are to stay here or the pool area unless I give you permission. The collar will not allow you to go any further than this building, the pool, and the sauna hut. Oh, and that collar is waterproof. When I need you up in the main building, I’ll have the sensors turned off for that area.

“Monitoring faggots is so easy these days. I have been surveilling you for the past couple of months. Oh yeah, I know everywhere you went since Gary first connected with a bookstore cum dump whore, one that just happened to be the son of one of our employees. I ran a full background on you. I was able to hack into your phone, and I observed. I know the older men you try to connect with on Grindr and Scruff. I see the porn you watch. And you watch a lot of daddy porn, cruising porn, gang bang porn, ass eating porn, and so on.

“I know where you go. You hit the bookstore at lunchtime on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. On Fridays you stay back there to hit the after-work crowd. On Mondays and Wednesdays, on your way back from your community college, you hit the rest area.

“During this time, I did an extensive background check on your dad just as I did on you. Your dad has some issues with workplace security that are being addressed today by Bryce in Vegas. Trust me, your dad will not interfere in your internship. This was all planned, faggot. Every moment you thought you had a choice, we chose it for you.

“Now the spreader bar is in place set to painfully wide. Since you didn’t catch your load, I’m going in dry.

“With your wrists clipped behind your back, you aren’t going anywhere.

“Are you crying? You are. And you look panicked! Feel like you have no control over anything? Good!

“Fuck it’s not going to take me long to cum. I’m ready to burst.

“Jesus! You are loose! And sloppy! The cum stew feels good. Oh man.

“Not going to take long at all…. Oh faggot, you are made to be a cum dump faggot whore. This cunt belongs to me.

“Get ready. Get ready. Here I cum. Fuck! Fuck! Fuuuuccccckkkkk!

“Shit! That was good. You got my load added to the cum stew you’re brewing.

“Your gaping hole could be tightened up. Clamp down on me…. That’s it? We’ll need to start cunt training on you. Get those pussy muscles back to providing pleasure.

“Hold still. I got to piss…. Oh man. Does this feel good. It feels right. You are a natural toilet. Gary said he pissed down your throat a few times. Toilet service will be expected of you. Mostly Gary and I are into it, but Bryce and Ben will use your mouth on game day.

“I’m gonna pull out. You need to keep this slop in you. Clamp down. It’s going to be tough, but do not spill one single drop. You do, you will regret disobeying me.

“You are a sight. I’m gonna lift up the spreader bar to the motorized pulley. Suspended upside down should keep that sludge in. The butt plug gag needs to come out. My cock needs to be cleaned off, and your mouth is at the right height.

“That’s it. Swirl your tongue around. Just like that. Faggot, you’re going to do fine here.

“Ok. I got to do some paperwork in the main house. I’ll be back in a while. If you need to be let down, respectfully call out. If one of us is watching you, we can let you down remotely.”

This story continues in Story #389, Story #394, and Story #400

[hyewka]

i NEED something with dom!taehyun 😣 i never see much of taehyun! even tho he's such a cutie 🤭

warnings: gagging, fingering, use of pet names, degradation kink but also praise from taehyun, squirting

note: he truly is a cutie, after lolla especially, lord 😵‍💫 it’s when he’s on stage do i find him the most attractive ..respectfully kang taehyun can gag me all night for all i care!!

Talked about this before but swear Taehyun would love having you choke on his dick, doesn’t matter how big he is, he’ll have you stay down to your nose squashed against his abdomen, his hands on the back of your head, gripping your hair of which your scalp is burning, gargling and teary eyed—with absolutely no emotion on his face. He keeps his composure, looking down at you, not having to be a man of many words for you to feel like dirt on his feet, a dirty whore only for his use, it’s so degrading and embarrassing… and you love it. When he lets you pull away from his dick out of your mouth, you cough up a storm, your vision near blurring trying to get your breathing back as you look up from your position, sprawled on the floor— and he smirks, the only emotion you manage to get out of him so far. Using his index finger to lift your chin up and meet his eyes, he pouts and you think he’d shoot you a praise to work with, “You couldn’t last just thirty more seconds?

“Dumb kitty.” Of course not. With his black framed glasses propped on the tip of his nose, his chin raised high like you truly were a dumb pet, the uncomfortable feeling of wetness welcomes itself between your thighs.

Likes the feeling of forcing fingers inside, spreading your lips so far apart you’re crying for him to stop, especially when he goes as far as to graze his teeth against your clit, the pain far too overwhelming. “Safe word angel, and I’ll stop.”

He says because he knows you like it all too much, the way the pain bleeds into the pleasure, you could barely tell the difference with it clouding your mind. When you don’t respond with what you agreed upon, he tries to force a third finger in, whispering with his mouth near the shell of your ear. “Know you can take one more princess, ease up.”

The painful stretch of three in you has you whimpering, legitimately all red in the face as you feel him move inside of you, adjusting his fingers, experimenting. “Good girl, look at your pussy swallowing in my fingers, it’s like you’re made for it.”

Also, definitely likes fucking in front of a mirror so he does have you actually look at the way his fingers disappear into your sopping cunt, then back out. If you’re lucky, could get a few more words from him, quiet groans from the back of his throat as he watches you fall apart on his fingers, “Fuck, so tight.”

Taehyun would have you naked from head to toe, while he’s still clothed, holding a vibrator against your clit to the point of overstimulation, your throat sore and your face ruined— mascara running down, your pupils blown out, hair plastered onto your forehead from sweat, nose runny and red. Has you squirting on the sheets, warm liquid spurting everywhere, embarrassingly making you mewl, your cheeks turning red, “I told you I had to go!” you whine into your arms, trying to hide your face while completely turning your body away from him. This was by far the most embarrassment you’ve felt; you feel like you’ve just ruined the mood.

But Taehyun…lord he’s a freak and do I die by that statement. Has his hands on your knees before completely spreading your legs for him. You don’t even know what he’s doing before you feel his nose against your clit, breath fanning against your skin. “Taehyun what-“

Not another word before the feeling of Taehyun’s tongue, warm wet muscle licking up your folds, drinking what he could get from your pussy like a starved man.

#id recommend tyunkus & koqabear for quality taehyun content as i am CLEARLY lacking 😭 #my apologies to the taehyun stans 🥲 #txt smut #txt hard hours #txt hard thoughts #taehyun smut #taehyun hard thoughts #taehyun hard hours #🌷. rana thoughts

[kaleldobrev]

Hard to Believe

Pairing: Soldier Boy (Ben) x Fem!Reader

Summary: Ben tells you something that you weren’t quite expecting

Word Count: 581

Warnings: Cursing (4x), Ben being pissed about this generation of youth, Cute(?)!Ben

Authors Note: If you liked this, don’t forget to like & reblog. I really appreciate it! Feedback is always welcome ♡

As you were sitting on the couch attempting to read as Soldier Boy had the tv just loud enough for you not to be able to concentrate, you couldn’t help but notice out of your peripheral that he was staring at you. It wasn’t a creepy stare, more of like an enamored stare and you honestly couldn’t place why. The Supe had barely said two words to you since you, Hughie, and Butcher brought him back after the incident at Crimson Countess’. Finally semi-annoyed (or maybe it was more curiosity), you shut the book and looked over at him, making eye contact with him briefly before he looked away at the tv in front of him. “Can I help you?” You asked, and he turned to you, taking a sip from the cup he had in his hands.

“No,” he answered all too quickly, and semi-annoyed sounding. “Can I help you?”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re the one that won’t stop staring at me,” you said.

“I’m not staring at you. I have no reason to stare at you,” he said, his tone a little harsh, pissed that you had actually caught him despite it being blatantly obvious.

“If you say so,” you replied, re-opening your book. As soon as you had opened it, the staring started again. “You’re staring,” you said, not looking up from your book.

“How can you even tell?” He asked.

“Something called peripheral vision,” you said, turning the page. “So why are you staring?”

“I’m n—” he began, but that’s when you looked at him, eyebrow raised, not believing a word he was saying. “Fine. I was. Happy?”

“Just curious mostly as to why you won’t stop staring at me,” you stated. “No one’s ever stared at me as long as you have before.” It’s interesting, you wanted to add.

He scoffed. “Hard to believe.”

“And why’s that?” You asked, re-closing your book yet again.

“Cause you’re hot,” he said, no hint of humor in his voice. Shit he was serious, you thought. That’s when he looked over at you, looking dumbfounded at what he had just said to you. “What?”

“You just said I was…hot,” your voice had a hint of hesitation, and it was his turn to raise a brow.

“And?” He asked. “Does that offend you?” Fucking people these days, can’t pay anyone a fucking compliment, he thought.

“No…just…surprised really,” you said. And you were in fact legitimately surprised by Soldier Boy’s comment, as no one had even told you that you were hot before, not even previous significant others.

“Why?” He asked, taking another sip from his cup.

“No one’s…ever called me…hot…before,” you admitted.

“Again, hard to believe,” he said, getting up from his current spot. “No one? No one’s ever called you fucking hot before?” You shook your head. “Not even like…I don’t know….boyfriends?” You shook your head again.

“You’re the first one,” you said, your voice getting lower, slightly embarrassed. You felt your cheeks start to get pink.

He grinned. “Well lucky me.” As he started to walk away, he turned around to face you again. “Expect me calling you hot more. And…other things,” he winked. You wondered what other things he would start calling you now, and you hoped, that when he did in fact call you these things, it would be just when you and him were in the room and not in front of your friends. But knowing him, he’d do it in front of them.

Tag List: @jackles010378 @mrsjenniferwinchester @syrma-sensei @k-slla @justletmereadfanfic @deans-daydream @zombie-freak @waywardlatina @globetrotter28 If you'd like to be added to a tag list, let me know!

#soldier boy x reader #soldier boy x you #the boys #the boys imagine #the boys one shot #the boys amazon #Ben x you #Ben x reader #reader insert #female reader

[dirtyvulture]

Natasha Romanoff x Beefy!Reader*

18+ only, read at your own risk

Requested by anon: Can I request sub beefy reader with a dick and dom fem nat reader calls her mommy, nat had been teasing reader all day with revealing clothes soft touches and the casual bulge grab while they're out in public readers so needy n begs nat to just touch them but nat wants to wait til they're home. They finally get gome n nat haves her way with readers cock playing with the tip teasing them more til nat gets needy too and rides reader into oblivion 

AN: Reader has a penis. No pronouns used.

(The bottoms better blow this up and not let me down.)

Your grip on Natasha’s waist tightens subtly, but it’s enough for her to notice and cluck her tongue at you warningly. She’s currently sitting on your lap while the two of you join the rest of the Avengers for a game of Monopoly, but you’re ready to throw all your money at the bank if it means getting to leave and go back to your room with your girlfriend. 

She’s been teasing you all day and you don’t know how much longer you can stand it. Not that you really have a choice, but it’s frustrating enough that you’ve been hard for hours and there is no way you can normally function with basically no blood left in your brain. 

“Nat,” you whine when she grinds down on you. “Can we go upstairs now?” you whisper.

“Wait until we finish this round,” she says, leaning forward to roll the dice and move her token around the board. You slump back moodily as Natasha pays rent to Steve for landing on his property. “All right, that’s enough stealing my money,” she announces, finally getting off your lap and grabbing your hand. You stand directly behind her, trying to hide your hard-on from the rest of your co-workers. “Anyone want to join us for dinner?”

“Dinner?” you squeak. Unless Natasha is talking about letting you eat her for dinner, the last place you want to go is a restaurant for a legitimate meal.

“All this board game playing made me hungry,” she says with a mischievous glint in her eyes. 

“You two go ahead,” Clint says, and everyone else murmurs their agreement, sensing the unresolved tension.  

“Perfect, come on, babe. I’ll drive.” Natasha drags you down to the garage. You don’t say anything when you get into the car, grumbling in your seat at being cheated out of your promise.

“Why are you acting so grumpy?” Natasha snaps suddenly.

“You said after we were done with the last round,” you respond.

“I said what?”

“That we could go upstairs.”

“No. I said to wait until we finish the last round. But I didn’t say what we were going to do,” she emphasizes and you huff at your lack of attention to the details. But can she really blame you? “If I don’t eat in the next thirty minutes, it’s going to be very bad for you. You can wait a little longer.”

“Fine.”

She takes you to a familiar Chinese restaurant, but you have no appetite for food. Natasha takes her time looking over the menu, despite her earlier statement that she was famished, and you’re pretty sure she’s doing it on purpose. She’s sitting next to you in the booth, her hand first resting on your knee and creeping up to your thigh.

She palms at your bulge between bites of fried rice, and you can hardly feed yourself with the distraction. 

“Nat please,” you beg, struggling to keep your hips still. “Can we go home now?”

“I want dessert first.”

But there’s no dessert here, so she walks you down to the ice cream parlor next door. Your leg bounces anxiously as she orders a cone for herself, offering you a bite first but you decline. She licks teasingly at the ice cream, her tongue swirling up the white dessert in an achingly familiar manner that makes your cock throb harder in your pants. 

You look away, afraid that you’re going to cum right in the shop. Natasha finishes her ice cream and finally, finally takes you back home.

She pushes you onto the bed, quickly undressing herself while you kick off your pants and yank off your shirt. When she climbs onto you, rocking her pussy against your abs, you moan and grab at her desperately.

“Mommy please, I need you so badly,” you say. 

“Don’t touch me,” Natasha demands, slapping your hands back to your sides. “Or I’ll have to tie you up.” Which isn’t really a threat, but you do like having some autonomy in bed with her.

You lie back, looking down at your cock, which is fully erect and pulsing out a steady stream of pre-cum already. Natasha sits between your legs, eyeing you hungrily. She wraps her hand around your aching cock and the touch alone is enough to make you moan, but you bite your lip and keep your arms firmly by your side. 

“Is this what you’ve been waiting for?” she asks, squeezing your tip every time her hand completes an upstroke.

“Yes, yes,” you pant.

“So you’d rather have my hand than my pussy?”

“Uh, no,” you stutter. While you love every part of Natasha and would never complain about what she offers, you do have your favorites. Her pussy would always reign supreme over her mouth and hand, but you knew than better than to say no to any of them. 

Natasha stops stroking you, but her thumb continues to rub over your slit and you squirm helplessly on the bed, utterly desperate for her touch. 

“I don’t know why I’m even rewarding you. You’ve been whiny and annoying all day,” she says, as if she doesn’t love your reactions to her. You suck in a breath when her whole hand wraps around you again, squeezing you at just the right spots to make your entire body tremble. 

“I’m...I’m sorry,” you apologize. 

“I don’t know if you deserve anything more than my hand tonight,” Natasha says, and you’re so distracted when she squeezes your tip that you don’t notice her other hand dive down between her legs and press against her own arousal.

“Please, please,” you beg. “I’ll do anything. I’ll let you do anything,” you say in hopes that she’ll have mercy on you tonight. 

“Hmm. I’ll have to think about,” Natasha replies like she hasn’t already made up her mind. She spends a few more minutes teasing you until your entire cock is practically coated in your own pre-cum, the head a much darker shade as you near your release that Natasha won’t let you have.

“Nat,” you whimper again. 

“Shut up.” She lets go off your cock and mounts you in one smooth move. You nearly cum right when her velvet pussy slides around you, but Natasha grabs onto your shoulders so tightly and pinches your skin that you’re too distracted by the momentary pain to finish. 

“Thank you, thank you,” you say as you carefully hold onto her hips as she bounces on your dick wildly. 

“This is for me, not you,” she reminds you, but you know she’ll let you get your release. Maybe just after hers, though.

You lean back into the pillows, panting, your abs clenching as you try to keep yourself under control. You watch your slick cock disappear into her tight heat over and over, listening to the filthy noises it creates. “Oh God, Nat,” you moan, throwing your head back and allowing her to use your body as she sees fit. 

“Fuck, you still stretch me out so well,” she says, her nails digging into your chest as she forces you to lie flat. The entire bed bounces and moves, and you wouldn’t be surprised if you break the frame again tonight. Natasha is almost like a wild animal with the way she rides you, like she hasn’t fucked you in weeks.

“You can only cum after I do,” she demands, as she starts to clench around you harder and more sporadically.

“Okay,” you whimper, hoping that you’ll be able to keep your end of the deal when your body feels like it’s on fire.  

“Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” Natasha screams as she comes undone on top of you, leaning back to brace herself on your muscular thighs as she gushes around you. You waste no time finishing yourself, jogging your hips up to empty your load into her. 

She’s still panting as you lean up to kiss her in appreciation, but she shoves you back down, leaning forward to grab onto your biceps so she can keep you pinned on the mattress. Natasha rolls her hips aggressively, and your cock, now sensitive from your orgasm, is still inside of her.

“We’re done when I say we’re done,” she demands, and you can only whine as she uses you for the rest of the night.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Please like, reblog, and comment! Follow for more content. 🥰

#natasha romanoff #Black Widow #natasha romanoff smut #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff x reader

[queerism1969]

What is something about being LGBT that a straight person would never guess is a thing you have to deal with on a regular basis?

People asking how you have sex

Once you come out, you never truly stop coming out.

Being queer means that you are going to be really lonely a lot of the time.

The mini internal debate you have every time you tell a story about your SO. Do I say friend or girlfriend? Have I come out to this person yet?

People ask if I know X person because they're also gay.

When you're gay, there's a very real chance your Significant Other will not have a family to bring you into.

Any expression of my sexuality is "being in your face about it" and "it shouldn't be your whole personality".

Everyone had an opinion about my mere existence.

People legitimately question the validity of your relationship, and whether it's just a phase-especially if you're bisexual

Straight people always want to know what your type is. It always feels like a test to see if you find them attractive.

How to properly have sex. They REALLY don't teach you that in sex education.

You never know who is secretly homophobic whether at work or in public, so you always have to act "straight" in a lot of situations

You get sick of never being represented in media, but straight people don't really get it.

Getting polite service is difficult.

Office workers will sometimes purposely send you on goose chases because they don’t want to serve you.

Before y'all knew I was gay, you talked a lot of smack about "the gays." You don't remember, but I remember. I will always remember.

Losing nail clippers can really harm a relationship.

Being queer sometimes feels like being a 30-something-year-old teenager in a community full of 30-something teenagers and weirdly grown-up kids who’ve been living on their own since being kicked out by their bigoted parents at 16.

We have to constantly police our language.

The shame/internalized homophobia.

Your right to exist being a political debate

Wondering when the Supreme Court will revoke my rights.

You can’t really just have sex on a whim... You have to spend time (a lot more than you think) to clean.

While closeted, probably the weight of the secret or the fear of someone finding out.

A gay person will watch any TV show or movie, no matter how bad, if they hear there is even a slice of positive gay representation in it.

When a gay couple kisses in public, people stare. Not even out of disgust or anything, but just because it’s still kind of foreign to them.

You can't always go to the place you want for your honeymoon, because you might get killed

Being described as someone’s “gay best friend” and not just their best friend.

Every time we tell someone we have a partner, and it catches them off-guard, they proceed to tell me about a gay person they know.

The doctor is always super surprised as to how we can be both sexually active and be 100% sure that we are not pregnant

People force you to come out, and they act like they’re doing you a favor.

You have to be prepared to lose any friendship at the drop of a hat

Every couple of years or so, we get a random homophobic death threat on social from someone we've never interacted with.

#lgbtqia #lgbtq community #lgbt pride #lesbian #nonbinary #sapphic #lgbtq #queer #nonbinary lesbian #gay girls #lgbt nsft #pride #lgbtqplus #queer community #queer culture #queer nsft #queer pride #queer artist #lgbt #trans #mtf pride #pride month #happy pride 🌈 #trans pride #gay pride #pride flag

[corpsebridalshower]

aaa hi there!!! ur art is legitimately super fab and i love it sm <3 btw this is my first ask so sorry if i sound stupid or sum idk lol

anywayy i wanted to ask like how many people in the hotel does bonnie know?? and what are her relationships w/ them?

srry if someone asked this already lol, anyways have a fantastic day !!! <3

Oh thank you kindly for your support! And it’s not a dumb question at all! You don’t sound stupid, believe me! And I hope you have a fantastic day yourself

For the most part, she gets along with everyone well! Although she can be a bit cross with Husk. But that’s just because of pure instinct.

She’s more motherly to Charlie, Niffty and Vaggie, but in different forms of motherly. With Charlie, she’s more of a guidance mother, but soft and open to converse when necessary. Niffty, she’s cuddly motherly, she has grown a loving relationship with Niffty and would often let her do her hair or make up! And sometimes they talk about BAD BOYS together while cleaning Alastors things. With vaggie, she’s much more of a passive aggressive mother, she tells her to smile because it would do her good, and she makes back handed compliments towards her language and how she carries herself, it’s only for Vaggies own good, right?? But she does really love how Vaggie can be harsh. It intrigues her.

With Husk, they fight with flare a lot. They try to compete against each other subtly. It’s great. Plus Bonnie loves to get under his skin.

And Angel,… well she puts up with his vulgar behavior for the most part, sometimes he even makes her laugh. But when he says something about she and Alastor she mostly remains silent. But they discuss dressing n whatnot!

#hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor x reader #hazbin fandom #hazbin hotel #alastor x oc #alastor x reader #alastor x you #hazbin art #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor #hazbin hotel fandom #hazbin hotel oc #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin husk #hazbin vaggie #hazbin niffty

[cat3ch1sm]

you've made a lot of fics about killua, but never a general relationship headcanon? 🌸 could I request that?

By the way, I love the way you write the characters, it always feels pretty Canon and I enjoy reading your works a whole lot <33

🌱~ messages like this always make my day💚 than you so much!! im so happy you enjoy my works <33 more are on the way! ilysm 🫶🏾🫶🏾

these are way longer than i thought they were gonna be wow😭😭 turn out i have a whole bunch of killua relationship hcs in my brain and you seem to have broken the dam😭 i hope you like them lmaoo

𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬!

°˖ ⊹ ꒰🌱꒱ ♡ definitely don’t expect killua to be the sappy, super overly affectionate type. he will either call you a dumbass or stupid or some other insult. but when you protest he’ll just be like “whatt? i meant it in a nice way.”

killua is not a pda guy. the most he’ll do in public is hold your hand and even that’s a coin toss. he isn’t that fond of things like that anyway, but mostly he’s just worried that if an enemy of his sees you with him that they’ll target you in order to hurt killua. he’ll never admit that, though.

in private it is a different story. he lets you play with his hair and likes to lay with his head in your lap. once he fell asleep like that and woke up so embarrassed even though you told him over and over that it was fine and you thought it was cute, which just made it worse. it’s rare he’s the one initiating physical affection, but it does happen. it’s slightly awkward when you first start dating though, since obviously that’s a new concept to killua. i can definitely imagine him doing that yawn and stretch move when you’re watching a movie or something, but when you reciprocate his affection killua gets all flustered.

killua has legitimately no idea what to do in a romantic relationship. hell, he doesn’t know what a good family relationship should even look like, and he never made a friend until he was like 12, so healthy relationships are a foreign concept. he will be absolutely flabbergasted when you buy him gifts every once in a while just to make him happy, and he’s shocked when you buy him chocolate robots for Valentine’s Day, and he is beyond confused when you give him compliments or tell him that you love him.

killua always admonishes you when you buy him stuff. whenever you bring him something he’ll just stare at it and scoff. “why do you even bother buying me stuff? i’m rich enough to buy your whole family and more, so why do you even bother getting me stuff like this?”

he always takes it anyway so don’t even mind him. killua has a specific place where he keeps your gifts. when he’s away from home he keeps them on him in a knapsack or wherever he’s staying at the time, but when he’s at the zoldyck mansion, killua locks everything away in a box safely hidden and always keeps the key on him so his family can’t get to it.

speaking of his family. you are definitely out of your mind if you think killua is willingly taking you to meet them. absolutely not in a million years. if ever killua does need to go back to his home for something, usually to check on alluka, you are staying wherever you are until he gets back. he will also ask gon to keep an eye on you if gon happens to be traveling with you. killua would rather his family just not know about you at all lest the zoldycks do the same to you as they sometimes do with alluka- capture you, and then hold you over killua’s head and threaten you whenever they want him to do something.

okay enough with the angsty stuff and back to how literally clueless killua is about dating. when gon who is the rizz god for some fucking reason informs him that he needs to take you out on dates, killua is blindsided. at first he just takes you places he likes to go, like the skate park or heavens arena to watch fights, but gon pulls him aside again at some point and says that he needs to take you places that you enjoy. which is something that killua is kind of stubborn about at first, but he does actually want to make you happy, so he obliges.

there’s this post on like twitter or something where this guy is talking about how since spending time with his gf she has him watching stupid shit he would never watch like twilight or grey’s anatomy. that is basically what happens with killua. he’s doing stuff with you that he never thought he would do in a million years and enjoying it for whatever reason. don’t tell anyone though because he gets so embarrassed

one of the things he found out that he likes is wearing eyeliner. you made sone offhanded comment about it and that his eyes look like a cat’s and suddenly you were doing eyeliner for him. it took a lot of convincing, but when killua sees how good it looks on him, he’s asking you to do it for him every day. eventually you teach him how to do it himself as well

killua winds up going to gon a lot for relationship advice. what does he do when you’re sad? go to gon. what should he do for your birthday? ask gon! should he get you new shoes or a new jacket? what do you think, gon?

killua rarely lets you pay for stuff. he’s rich so he doesn’t see why he should

whenever you’re on your phone or reading a book or something, killua will randomly appear behind you and put his head on your shoulder and just watch what you’re doing in silence. but if he sees you’re doing something like online shopping, just scrolling through items, killua will tap the screen whenever he sees something he likes for you. he especially likes to pick out your clothes, and he’s actually good at it. unlike the going out on dates thing, he picks out what he thinks you will like and what looks good on you. honestly killua was the only character who actually changed clothes every day in the show so he’s good with fashion lmao. most of the time he’ll buy the item for you too

killua also doesn’t mind too much if you steal his clothes, like his hoodies or hats. he might not let you take the newer stuff, but he doesn’t mind letting you parade around in his clothes. on the flip side he will also steal some of yours.

killua is very much that bf who claims “im not hungry” but then proceeds to steal half your food. so you’ve learned that whenever he says that to order twice the food

around people he knows, mainly people he doesn’t like, killua likes to show you off- but in a subtler way. like he might casually hold your hand just to show everyone “yeah, i have a partner. no big deal haha”

you literally never have to worry about killua cheating on you. he is fiercely loyal. he’s not one of those bfs that, when approached by another girl or guy, is like “oh, im sorry, but i have a partner.” nah he’s sprinting full speed in the opposite direction of whoever’s trying to approach him. either that or he’s just super rude to anyone who asks for his number or is romantically interested in him.

*cue random mf who wants him* “hi! i thought you seemed really cool and i wanted to know if-“

“nah i got a partner”

“well i just was wondering-“

“fuck out my face im dating someone”

“just-“

“hell nah”

in addition to that, killua is very much the jealous type. if you haven’t watched the phantom rouge movie go watch it rn and tell me killua isn’t jealous. anyone else who makes you smile or laugh or makes the mistake of touching you, killua instantly hates. he always makes sure to be there whenever you’re around that person. situations like that are an exception to his PDA rule- he’ll throw an arm around your shoulder or waist if he’s feeling really protective, or hold your hand. he doesn’t get jealous about gon, though- all three of you are friends and he knows for sure gon wouldn’t try anything on you in a million years.

killua may or may not go a little overboard with his jealousy at times, though. he might mistake a simple interaction for someone trying to get with you

“yo, y/n- why was that guy talking to you?”

“*long sigh* killua. how else was he going to take my order?”

killua is on the protective side and doesn’t really like for you to be out without him or gon. if you aren’t back within a certain timeframe he’ll start spamming your phone with texts and calls to make sure you’re okay.

from: killua @ 10:56 pm

“yo”

“yo”

“y/n”

“yo”

“you good”

“heLLOOOO”

“you’re supposed to answer me im your boyfriend”

“why do you hate me”

“are u alive”

“are u alive”

“come back”

“pls”

“where u at”

“it’s almost 11”

“if ur dead im going to kill u”

“ANSWER BRO”

from: y/n @ 10:57

“HOW DID YOU SEND SIXTEEN FUCKING MESSAGES IN THE SPAN OF ONE MINUTE”

from: killua @ 10:57

“:3”

#cat3ch1sm #hxh headcanons #hxh memes #killua x reader #reader x killua #killua zoldyck x reader #killua zoldyck x you #you x killua #anime #hxh imagines #hxh fic #killua hxh #killua headcanons #killua x you #reader x killua zoldyck

[estrellami-1]

If I Should Stay

Part 1 | . . . | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12

Just then Eddie walks in, raising his brows at the veritable mountain of food Steve and Eleven are putting together. “What’s all this?”

Steve smiles warmly at him. “Hey, Eds,” he says, which is certainly an experience. He’s spoken roughly twice with the guy—in his memory—but Steve’s three chapters—nay, three books ahead. Eddie is Frodo, about to embark on his first journey, and Steve is Bilbo, or even Gandalf: someone who’s done this all before, whose eyes carry the weight of worlds.

Speaking of, Steve’s eyes dim slightly the longer Eddie takes to answer, so he waves his fingers at Steve, trying to ignore the swoop in his stomach when Steve’s smile brightens again. “So… what’s this?”

“Dinner,” Eleven answers. “We are making sandwiches.”

Eddie nods, because sure. Why not. “Okay.”

“How’s the song coming?” Steve asks, and the swoop returns, because not only is Steve asking, but he’s asking about Metallica, and Eddie’s gay, metal little heart can’t take it.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, grinning. “It’s so good, oh my god. I mean, it’s gonna take a bit to learn, but it’s gonna be the most metal solo I’ve ever done.”

Steve’s smile dims again. Probably because he’s remembering what happened last time, i.e., Eddie’s death. Eddie pushes down the queasy feeling.

“Eddie,” Eleven says.

“Yeah?”

She turns to face him. Her eyes are more serious than any twelve-year-old’s eyes have any right to be. “You will be okay,” she says. Then, apropos of nothing, “And I can move things with my mind.”

Eddie blinks at that. Apparently his face is doing something, because Steve chimes in. “She can.”

“I can show you,” she volunteers.

“Anything but the utensils,” Steve says in a distracted voice, like this isn’t the first time he’s had this conversation. Eddie wants to laugh hysterically, or maybe cry. Smoking a joint seems like the best third option, except all his stuff is at home. Fuck.

Then she does, lifts a whole cutting board—complete with tomatoes— and moves it over to him. He resists the impulse to snatch a piece and eat it. He doesn’t even like tomatoes, what the fuck, brain.

Steve’s watching with an amused little smile, like he can somehow read Eddie’s mind. That legitimately wouldn’t be the weirdest thing to happen today, so Eddie does his best to stop thinking about it, because he doesn’t think he can deal with more than one real-life superpower right now.

“I need that back, El,” Steve murmurs, and she grins at him before zipping it back over, stopping it just before it hits his face. He nods, brows raised, impressed. “Nice control. Put it down and go wipe your nose, please.”

She does, Steve watching her as she goes, fond little grin on his face. “She’s a good kid.”

“She can move things with her mind.”

“Yeah. Honestly, that’s one of the easier things to get used to. Y’know one of the craziest things, to me?”

“Do I want to know?” Eddie asks hesitantly.

Steve just grins at him. “Jonathan Byers has this baseball bat that he sticks a bunch of nails in.”

Eddie blinks at him. “What the actual fuck.”

Steve nods. “I took it, sometime back during the first year. Actually,” he thinks about it, “what month are we in?”

“Um. October.”

Steve winces. “Great. October…”

“Um. Twenty-fourth.”

Steve hums and thinks. “In about… less than a week, actually, I think—I don’t really know, the concussion messed up my days—oh, hey!” He suddenly says excitedly, then raises his voice. “Rob!”

Robin pops her head in a moment later. “What’s up?”

He grins at her. “No concussions!”

She stares. Slowly, a grin spreads across her face. “Holy shit!” She says. “No concussions!”

“No memory loss!”

“No hearing loss!”

“No eyesight problems!”

She freezes. “Steve. You were having vision issues?”

“Um. Not anymore?”

She groans. “Since when?”

“Um…” he thinks, tilting his head toward the ceiling. “Billy, I think. At least that’s the first time I really noticed it.”

She sighs. “I’m going to murder you.”

“Are not.”

“In cold blood.”

“Are not.”

“Nancy’ll help.”

Steve considers this. “She might. She’d be good at it.”

They both pause for a moment, then Robin turns to leave. “I’m gonna go make sure Jon doesn’t give you a concussion this time.”

“Have him make the nail bat, too!” Steve calls as she leaves.

“What,” Eddie says desperately, “the fuck.”

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @local-writers-corner @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

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#stranger things #if I should stay #pre steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #el hopper #Robin Buckley #platonic stobin #steve and el #el just wants to help #Eddie’s doing his best not to freak out every other second #he’s trying yall #starambles

[fluentmoviequoter]

Pictures of You

Requested Here!

Pairing: Tim Bradford x fem!wife!artist!reader

Summary: While patrolling the fairgrounds, Lucy convinces Tim to have their picture drawn. She doesn't expect you, Tim's wife, to be the artist.

Warnings: fluff! mention of a bomb threat

Word Count: 1.3k+ words

Picture from Pinterest

“Why are you acting like you’re being punished? This is fun!” Lucy exclaims.

“Feels like a punishment,” Tim mutters, not slowing down as he looks around while he walks. “Fairground duty is not my idea of a good time, Chen.”

“What do you have against fun and showing you have a personality, Bradford?”

“If you’re having so much fun, why don’t you focus on that instead of me? You just do your thing, and I’ll do my job.”

Lucy groans but continues walking through the endless rows of booths. There’s food, games, face painting, vendors, and more local artists than she can count. Tim keeps his eyes on the people rather than the entertainment, only looking away when his phone rings.

“Bradford,” he answers.

“Bradford, how’s it going?” Wade asks. “We haven’t seen any indication that the threat was legitimate at any of the other venues.”

“Someone called in a fake bomb threat? Who could imagine such a thing,” Tim answers with his unique blend of sarcasm and grumpiness. “I haven’t seen anything here other than the usual suspicious individuals that show up for cheap booze and carnival rides.”

“It’s not a carnival!” Lucy interjects. “If you’re going to hate on it, at least hate on it correctly.”

“Sounds like you’re having a good time,” Wade teases. “Keep an eye out, the day isn’t over yet.”

“Yes, sir,” Tim answers.

“Oh, and one more thing, Bradford. Loosen up and have a little bit of fun for once, would you?”

“And risk finding out that the bomb threat was legitimate, no thanks. Bye, Grey.”

“Tim, look!” Lucy squeals. “Caricatures! Can we please get one?”

“We are on the clock, boot.”

“I’m going to ignore the ‘boot’ comment and simply remind you that I am no longer a rookie, but I’ll let it slide. I’ll say please again.”

“No deal. We’re here for work, Chen, not to get temporary tattoos or eat funnel cake.”

“You like funnel cake?”

Tim glares at Lucy before saying, “Not the point.”

“Tim,” she groans, tilting her head back. “What did Wade say?”

“To keep an eye out.”

“And to have fun?”

Tim doesn’t answer, and Lucy bounces in place.

“One booth,” Tim concedes. “And then we’re going back to foot patrol. Don’t forget why we’re here.”

“Sir, yes, sir,” Lucy answers, mock saluting him before she hurries to the first booth in a row of artists. “Are you more of a ten-minute portrait or a caricature guy? Do you know the difference?” she asks when Tim joins her side.

“You pick. But you only have five minutes before I leave, whether the picture is done or not.”

Lucy nods enthusiastically before she begins walking. She slows down to look in several booths while Tim keeps an eye out for anyone matching the description from the call this morning.

“This one,” Lucy decides before pushing Tim into the empty tent.

“Hi,” Tim greets.

You look up from the sketchpad in your lap and smile. “Hello, officers,” you greet. “How can I help you?”

“Hi! We want a caricature,” Lucy answers. “Oh, and I’m Lucy and this is Tim; we’re off the clock for a few minutes, so we wanted to have some fun.”

“We’re not off the clock, boot,” Tim grunts.

“Boot?” you inquire. “You’re a rookie?”

“Not anymore, he’s just grumpy and doesn’t understand how much fun I can be.”

“Well, Lucy, what kind of fun would you like to have? I can do, or at least try, just about anything you’re interested in. Though if you want a portrait in ninety seconds or less, there is a guy down this row that can do that.”

“Are they any good?” Lucy asks quietly.

You shake your head before gesturing toward two seats on the other side of your canvas.

“I’m giving you free reign, but if you can make it kinda caricature-like, I wouldn’t be opposed,” Lucy says.

Looking over at Tim, you decide what you want to do. The wedding ring on your fingers glints as you reach for a marker, and Tim’s eyes drop as he watches your hand before meeting your eyes.

“I’m going to regret this,” Tim grumbles.

“Tim, be nice,” Lucy scolds under her breath. She sends you an apologetic look, but you only smile.

“I’m used to it,” you promise.

“Lots of unwilling models?”

Turning your attention to your paper, you shake your head. “Officer Bradford, care to explain?”

“Lucy, this is my wife,” he says reluctantly before saying your name.

“Wait. Oh my gosh, I have so many questions!” Lucy responds.

“You only have four minutes, so make everything quick before I send you to check the portable restrooms,” Tim snaps.

“Tim,” you warn.

“Bradford?” someone asks from outside your booth.

You chuckle as Tim closes his eyes. He rubs a finger over his left ring finger, and you smile when his eyes return to you.

“Officer Thorsen, good to see you,” you greet.

“Hey, Mrs. Bradford,” he replies. “Makes a whole lot more sense now.”

“You didn’t think Tim would willingly have his picture drawn?”

“Aaron, you knew?” Lucy asks. “I knew Tim was married, but- Tim, why didn’t you introduce me?”

“I actually met Aaron on accident while I was at the station once,” you offer, adding the finishing touches to the caricature.

Aaron steps to your side, pressing his lips together to hide his smile before he radios for all nearby officers to meet at your booth.

“Thorsen, you just saved Chen from a long afternoon of checking the backside of this event,” Tim interjects.

“Worth it,” Aaron responds happily.

“Bradford?” Nolan asks as he approaches. “Oh, you got a caricature! Can we see?”

A small crowd gathers in your booth: your models, Aaron, Nolan, Celina, and two other officers wait to see your picture.

“You told Aaron to call for backup for when you get mad at me, right?” you joke, winking at Tim.

You smile at Lucy before turning the board around so they can see the finished picture. Tim remains impassive, but Lucy laughs, leaning backward as the other officers yell in surprise before laughing so hard tears come to their eyes.

“Who’s the boot now, Bradford?” Lucy asks through her laughter.

The picture of Tim as a cowboy boot with a police badge and Lucy as a puppy in a police uniform goes over well with every cop in the booth.

“I’m getting you back for this,” Tim says. “Both of you.”

“Don’t threaten civilians, Bradford,” Nolan chides.

“Don’t threaten your wife!” Aaron amends.

Celina and Nolan leave first, and soon you, Tim, and Lucy are alone in the booth again. Lucy happily takes the picture, holding it against her chest as she watches Tim.

“We got a bomb threat this morning,” Tim says softly. “So, if you want to head out early, I’ll be home as soon as my shift ends.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to pose for your own copy?” you ask.

“If you want to draw me, just ask,” Tim replies as he stands. “But we both know who’s on every page of that sketchbook.”

“Who?” Lucy asks.

“Me,” Tim answers. At the same time, you say, “Kojo.”

Tim rolls his eyes and snatches it from your side. He laughs as he sees the most recent picture of Kojo. After he flips a page, though, he’s met with a picture of him. Lucy coos, immediately commenting on how cute the two of you are.

“Let’s go, boot. A word about this, and I’ll have you assigned to cavity searches,” Tim says as he steers Lucy out of your booth. He turns back to you to add, “I love you. I’ll see you at home.”

“I love you,” you answer. “And don’t be too hard on her, I drew the picture after all.”

“You’ve got ring immunity,” he says, pointing to your wedding ring. “So, I make no promises.”

“Tim!” Lucy yells. “There’s funnel cakes!”

Tim rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose as he steps away from you. You laugh as he waves over his shoulder, glad you got to see him, even if he will be teased about it for a while.

#tim bradford x reader #hanna writes✯ #tim bradford fluff #tim bradford the rookie #tim bradford imagine #tim bradford #the rookie abc #requests #fem!reader

[anonymousewrites]

Nature of the Human Soul (Book 1) Chapter Seven

Platonic! Hazbin Hotel x Teen! Reader

Father Figure! Alastor x Teen! Reader

Chapter Seven: King of Hell at the Hotel

Summary: Desperate, Charlie invites her father to the hotel. Lucifer is making a visit.

            “Wow, she might actually be losing it,” remarked (Y/N), crossing their arms as they and the rest of the hotel watched Charlie with her giant board of possible angel solutions. She had clearly not slept much and was driving herself up the wall panicking about Heaven coming back for extermination sooner than ever.

            “Don’t understand why it’s not working,” murmured Charlie. “Think, Charlie, think. Think, think, think, think, think. Trust falls….every single morning…”

            “Yikes,” said Angel.

            “Charlie, sweetie?” called Vaggie, concerned.

            “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, Charlie,” muttered the princess of Hell to herself.

            “You, uh? You good?” asked Vaggie.

            “Nope, no! Not really! Haha!” said Charlie deliriously. “I’ve been up all night trying to figure out why the hotel isn’t working! We’ve done trust falls. We’ve tried sharing our feelings. And at this rate…”

            “Maybe it’s time—” began Vaggie.

            “No!”

            “—to ask—”

            “Don’t say it!”

            “—your dad.”

            Charlie groaned and slumped over.

            “Charlie, I know you don’t want to, but we need every advantage we can get,” said Vaggie, supporting Charlie’s exhausted body.

            “He let the extermination happen to begin with,” said Charlie, annoyed. “They just had a meeting and said, ‘Go ahead and kill everyone!’ ” She stood suddenly. “Wait, that’s it.”

            “Kill everyone?” said Vaggie.

            Angel nodded, and (Y/N) legitimately considered it for a moment.

            “No!” said Charlie. “He could get me a meeting with Heaven.”

            “Didn’t we already try that?” said Vaggie.

            “Well, yeah, with Adam, he was an asshole,” huffed Charlie. “But he isn’t in charge of all of Heaven. We could go to the top.”

            “God?” asked (Y/N).

            “No one sees God,” said Vaggie, shaking her head.

            “There’s sure to be some angels that will listen,” said Charlie, pulling out her phone. She began to scroll and frowned, unsure of herself.

            “What’s the holdup?” asked Husk. “You got daddy issues?” Straight to the point as always.”

            “No, we just…have never been close,” said Charlie. “After he and Mom split, he never really wanted to see me. He calls…sometimes, but only if he’s bored or, like, needs me to do something.”

            “Daddy issues,” confirmed Husk, pleased with himself.

            “Well, I’d like to meet the big dick in charge,” said Angel, grinning.

            “Putting that description aside, I’m curious, too,” said (Y/N). They furrowed their brow. “I heard a lot about Hell and Satan and all of that growing up, so I want to see what was wrong.”

            “What if something was right?” said Husk.

            “Then I’ll go fuck myself, I guess,” said (Y/N), shrugging and putting on a bright smile.

            Really, they’d go and curl up and cry because how were they supposed to deal with their abusers (not protectors, they’d never protected (Y/N), they hurt them, they hurt then, they hurt them) if they were right?

            “The ultimate bad boy,” giggled Niffty. “I bet he’s scary.”

            “You can do this,” said Vaggie encouragingly, squeezing Charlie’s shoulder.

            Charlie straightened and took a deep breath. “Right. Right.” She walked a few paces away and called her father, Lucifer himself.

            The group tried to draw closer to listen in to the conversation, but Vaggie pushed them back to give the father and daughter a moment to speak privately (mostly so Charlie wouldn’t get nervous and could work things out for herself). A few minutes later, Charlie put her phone back in her pocket and turned towards everyone.

            “Well!” she said, trying to seem confident. “We have an hour until he gets here.”

            “Okay, people!” barked Vaggie.

            Everyone straightened formally, ready to listen to Vaggie (especially since last time they’d tried to avoid her she’d thrown them onto a battlefield).

            “Lucifer is on his way,” said Vaggie. “So we are going to get this place presentable, and we are all going to make an amazing impression. Vamonos!”

            Everyone ran for it. Niffty cleaned the hotel from top to bottom and baked cookies. Husk cleaned the bar. Pentious helped with signs and balloons. Angel put on makeup. (Y/N) let Charlie use the roses they created as decorations. Razzle and Dazzle lifted up a sign that said “Welcome, Daddy!” Alastor did nothing, but he did come down to watch in amusement.

            Finally, with not a second to lose, the hotel was prepared, and Charlie stood by the door taking deep breaths.

            “Okay, everyone, it’s showtime!” she said. She reached for the doorknob, and the door slammed open before she could touch it.

            “Charlie!” said Lucifer excitedly.

            “Hey, Da—”

            Lucifer grabbed Charlie in a tight hug. “Oh, it’s so good to see you! Haha!”

            (Y/N) blinked. He was…short. Combining that with his white outfit and energetic mannerisms, Lucifer seemed far less threatening than the tales on Earth told of him. (Y/N) was pleasantly surprised by the turnout. That being said, they weren’t going to let down their guard yet, but they kept a smile on their face.

            “It’s good to see you, too, Dad,” said Charlie awkwardly. Lucifer let go of her, and she gestured to the hotel. “Welcome! To the Hazbin Hotel!”

            Charlie’s cat-demon-pet strolled up Lucifer and greeted him by purring. Lucifer gasped and smiled, petting the cat.

            “Oh, hewwo, Keekee,” said Lucifer. “Razzle! Dazzle!” The goat demons flew up and let Lucifer scratch their chins. “Oh, look how much you haven’t grown! Still fun-sized. You taking care of my little girl? You better be.” He laughed brightly, returning to his “carefree” (nervously delirious) attitude. “Wow, this place sure looks…uh…” He looked around at the strange guests and workers. “Yeah. Uh-huh. It’s got a lot of character.” He noticed the front desk/bar. “Oh, what in the unholy Hell is that?!”

            “Just some of the renovations we had done,” said Alastor, stepping forward with his characteristic smile. “Adds a little bit of color, don’t you think?”

            “Charlie is always talking about rainbows,” said (Y/N), smiling helpfully.

            “Precisely!” said Alastor, grinning at them in return.

            “And you are?” asked Lucifer, looking dubiously at Alastor.

            “Alastor!” Said demon popped up from the shadows behind Lucifer. He grabbed and shook Lucifer’s cane. “Pleasure to be meeting you, sir. Quite a pleasure. It’s nice to finally put a face to the name. You are much shorter—” Alastor pressed his fingers together “—in real life.”

            “Who is this? Who is this now?” Lucifer glared at Alastor. “Are you the bellhop?”

            Alastor laughed mirthlessly. “No! I am the host of the hotel! You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast.”

            “Hmm, nope!” said Lucifer. He chuckled and nudged Charlie. “I guess that’s why Charlie called it the ‘Hazbin Hotel!’ Hahaha!” The laugh was painfully forced.

            “Ha-ha-ha!” mocked Alastor. “It was actually my idea.”

            “Ha-ha-ha!” The fake laughs were flying between Lucifer and Alastor. “Well, it’s not very clever,” sneered Lucifer.

            “Ha ha!” Alastor leaned down towards Lucifer and narrowed his eyes. “Fuck you.”

            “Okay! Okay. Anyway,” said Charlie, pushing the pair apart. Clearly, they weren’t going to get along. “Um, Dad! Look at this lovely parlor where people can get to know each other and share secrets and stories and intimate feelings!”

            “Lots of intimacy,” said Angel, grinning at Husk, who rolled his eyes.

            “Keep that to yourself,” said (Y/N), smiling brightly.

            “Without Alastor,” continued Charlie, which caused Lucifer’s face to fall, “We wouldn’t have been able to pretty it up this much! Oh, and (Y/N) made all of these flowers! Isn’t it nice?”

            (Y/N) gave a little wave in acknowledgement, slightly embarrassed by the attention. They were still unused to positive attention, creating a basis of nerves in every interaction.

            “Charlie has a very unique vision,” said Alastor, strolling up to her. “I’m happy to fulfill her bizarre requests.” He put his hand on her shoulder.

            “Oh, thank you, Alastor,” said Charlie, just seeing legitimate care in Alastor instead of him trying to further annoy Lucifer.

            “Quite an impressive young lady!” said Alastor, his smile sharp and calculating as he looked at Lucifer. “We’re all very proud of her!”

            Charlie’s eyes sparkled at the praise.

            Lucifer cleared his throat angrily. “Charlie, dear, why don’t you introduce me to your other friends?”

            “Oh, yes, of course,” said Charlie, taking him to the table the others were gathered around. First, she pulled Vaggie towards Lucifer. “This is Vaggie. She’s my girlfriend!” Vaggie smiled nervously but gazed fondly at Charlie.

            “Oh ho my golly!” said Lucifer excitedly (and just as awkwardly as Charlie acted occasionally). “You like girls? So do I, we have so much in common! Put er’ here, Maggie.” Lucifer pulled Vaggie (“Maggie”) into a tight hug before letting go. They both laughed awkwardly. “She’s so pretty,” said Lucifer encouragingly.

            “Uh, lovely to meet you, uh, sir,” said Vaggie.

            “And these are Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, and (Y/N), our guests!” said Charlie proudly.

            “Your Majesty!” Pentious bowed (and subsequently slammed his head into the table).

            “Heya, Short King,” flirted Angel.

            “Hello, sir,” said (Y/N), waving from where they were letting more flowers grow around the table.

            “Husk is our bartender, and Niffty is our housekeeper!” continued Charlie.

            Husk lifted his hand in a lazy wave. “Nice to meet you.”

            Niffty ran up Lucifer’s front and grabbed the lapels of his jacket. “Hello. I clean. Heheheheh.”

            Crash!

            Before anything weirder could happen, the chandelier of the lobby fell to the ground with a resounding boom. Everyone coughed and waved the dust away.

            Lucifer laughed and grinned. “Alright, then.” He tapped his cane, and music began to play. It appeared that a song was coming.

(Lucifer) “Looks like you could use some help, From the big boss of Hell himself, Check out Daddy’s glowing reviews on Yelp, ‘Five stars, flawless, greater than great!’ Oh, with the punch of a pentagram, I wap bap boom alakazam! Usually, I charge a sacrificial lamb, But you get the family rate!” (Lucifer and Charlie) “Thanks, Dad!”

            The scene changed to Lucifer and Charlie at a restaurant with Alastor pouring them a drink.

(Lucifer) “Who needs a busboy now that you’ve got the chef!”

            Alastor was knocked backwards and became the food in the frying pan, grinning in annoyance at Lucifer.

(Chorus) “Who-oh-oh!” (Lucifer) “Michelin tasting menu, Free a la carte!”

            Is this just to make a point to Alastor? thought (Y/N), entertained by the song. It was quite catchy.

(Lucifer) “I’ll rig the game for you, Because I’m the ref, Champagne fountains, caviar mountains, That’s just the start!”

            However, while Lucifer was good, Alastor refused to back down, and he popped up behind Lucifer to steal the show.

(Alastor) “Who’s been here since day one? Who’s been faithful as a nun?”

            (Y/N) couldn’t help but laugh. They had never expected to see Alastor in a nun’s outfit.

(Alastor) “Makes you chuckle with an old-timey pun, Your executive producer.” (Charlie (and (Y/N) to the side)) “That’s true!” (Alastor) “I’m your guy, your day-to-day, Your chum, your steadfast hotelier, Remember when I fixed that clog today?” (Niffty) “I was stuck, thank you, sir!”

            Charlie awed as Niffty was given a hug from Alastor.

(Charlie) “Oh, you!” (Alastor) “I’m truly honored that we’ve built such a bond.”

            He spun Charlie around.

(Charlie) “Aww!” (Alastor) “You’re like the child that I wish that I had.”

            For a moment, as he cupped Charlie’s cheek, he saw something else, but he pushed that to the side and focused on his persuasion via song.

(Lucifer) “Uh, what?” (Alastor) “I care for you just like a daughter I spawned.”

            He patted her on the forehead and again forced some other, dangerously sentimental, thoughts away.

(Lucifer) “Hold on now!” (Alastor) “It’s a little funny, You could almost call me, ‘Dad!’”

            Lucifer glared indignantly, and in a brilliant move, he began to play the fiddle in response. Alastor grinned, let a piano fall on Lucifer, and played his own piece of music. Lucifer slipped out from beneath the piano and ruined the moment with an angrily long accordion note. All-in-all, the musical back and forth was…quite a show.

            However, Alastor wasn’t one to give up, so he returned to singing, still very much in the game.

(Alastor) “They say when you’re looking for assistance, It’s smart to pick the path of least resistance.”

            Lucifer refused to give up, either, and, when it came to being his daughter’s favorite father figure, he was willing to give his all in his performance.

(Lucifer) “Others say that in a needy hour, There’s no substitute for pure angelic power! Who just so happens to also be your blood.”

            Alastor shoved Lucifer out of the way.

(Alastor) “Sadly there are a times a birth parent is a dud, They say the family you choose is better.”

            (Y/N) could get behind that.

(Lucifer) “What a bunch of losers.” (Alastor) “Can you butt out of my song?” (Lucifer) “Your song? I started this!” (Alastor) “I’m singing it, I’ll finish it!” (Lucifer) “Oh, you tacky piece of—”

            The door of the Hazbin Hotel slammed open.

(???) “It’s me! Yes, it’s me!”

            A small demon in a flapper dress grinned at everyone.

(???) “I know you were all waiting for me, I’m here, what a gas, Took a while, but I’m present at last! It’s me!”

            Who? (Y/N) furrowed their brow.

(???) “Mimzzzzyyyyy!”

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[via-the-cryptid]

so we rejoin the story to find the Riddler having a crisis over the fact that Ellie somehow Does Not Know Who Batman Is. Ace is trying to explain it to her, except the Riddler can’t see Ace and is therefore considering the fact that the weird little girl he picked up might have a legitimate mental disorder that’s causing her to hallucinate. however his prevailing theory is that the toxin from the bullet (because of course it’s toxin, why else would it be green?) is messing with her head, so maybe she’ll make more sense once that’s dealt with.

except then he tries to say something about cleaning the wound and trying to get all the green out so she doesn’t get poisoned any further, and she fuckin goes.

“Oh, it’s supposed to be like that.”

“What?”

yeah, so fun fact for you, Eddie: Ellie’s insides are just green sometimes. and she’s not explaining why. there’s a reason, yes, allegedly a very good and normal reason according to her, but she’s not going to tell you what it is.

Lovely.

“Well, will you at least let me clean it?” He asks, not entirely believing that her blood is Supposed To Be A Little Bit Mostly Green. “Infections are a serious business, you know, they’ll eat away at your flesh if you don’t know what to—”

And Ellie just shrugs. “Yeah, whatever. As long as I come out of this with as much flesh as I went in with.”

And what the fuck does she mean by that. Is that an issue for her? Tissue theft? Do people regularly attempt to make off with her flesh? Every word out of this child’s mouth makes him more and more baffled and concerned.

Ellie, of course, is well aware of the fact that sometimes she would go into Vlad’s lab and then leave with less mass than she had before, so it’s quite a valid concern for her. Ellie also does not entirely know what a hospital or infirmary is, and therefore is under the impression that all people-fixing happens in a lab, since that’s how it went with both Vlad and Danny. Ace’s account of experimentation only supports that, although Ace is at least somewhat aware of what a hospital is.

so Eddie takes his newly acquired headache back to his base, grabs the first aid kit, and comes back into the room he left her in to find that yes, her blood is both green and red, and yes, it’s now on his floor. and so is the bullet.

“Can’t leave you alone for five minutes, Jesus Christ,” he mutters, punching the bridge of his nose. Ellie is unsympathetic.

“You were taking too long and I wanted the bullet out.”

Above her, Ace is sighing, though Eddie can’t hear it. “I told you to be careful. You could have waited for tweezers. I know he was bringing them.”

“Yeah, well, my fingers worked, didn’t they? I don’t need his tweezers.”

“Who are you talking to?”

“Ceiling ghost.”

“…What?”

“I said what I said. She’s unimpressed by you, by the way.”

“I— what? Why is a ceiling ghost judging me? And for that matter, whose ghost is in my ceiling?!”

“That’s irrelevant! You should work on being someone the ceiling ghost can be proud of, dammit!”

(Eddie is very close to throwing something, but Ace is laughing for the first time since Ellie’s met her, so. Ellie can’t really bring herself to regret antagonizing the question man.)

#dani phantom #danielle phantom #danny phantom #dc comics #gotham ghost au #dp x dc au #dp x dc crossover #dp x dc #dpxdc #ellie phantom #the riddler #ace batman #dc ace #edward nygma #tw mild gore #tw gun violence #tw wounds