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#that man is a literal Snack idk how else to define him
muse-oleum · 3 years
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narnia always gave me nightmares so i never finished watching the movies but after watching shadow and bones i can confidently say that i will simply to ✨simp✨👀respectfully👀 over mr. bin bons
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sunnyoldbear · 3 years
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Luca Headcanons Part 2
DoesLast one blew up and I was gonna wait to make another before making this one but then my Italian fish obsessed brain couldn’t stop thinking and I literally couldn’t stop myself so let’s go, part 2!
Luca:
Has nightmares of what would happen if things went differently: If he was sent to The Deep, if he and Alberto were outed as sea-monsters before the race, if Ercole, Cicco, and Guido didn’t miss Alberto when throwing the harpoons at the beach, if Alberto didn’t come with the umbrella during the race and he was outed in front of the town and hit with Ercole’s harpoon, etc. He always wakes up terrified. 
Apologizes to inanimate objects if he bumps into them or drops them.
Names everything he comes in contact with. Random animals such as birds, insects (even though he’s terrified), erasers he uses often, etc. They’re always random, silly names, but he loves them. 
Is a slow reader because of how he fantasizes himself in the books and daydreams, then is snapped back to reality.
Keeps a dream journal!
Loves making stories about the stars and constellations. He loves the original stories, but he loves to make up his own.
Honestly I just get the vibe that he’s scared of birds after the encounter with the seagull.
His favorite color is purple followed by green!
Giulia’s mom buys him his own bike and he loses his mind, loving it so much
He’s a bit awkward with making friends at school, sticking to Giulia’s side most of the time
He doesn’t really care for music
He can fall asleep anywhere, honestly. He once fell asleep leaning against the doorway and then crashed onto the floor
Alberto loves to doodle on his arms and hands and Luca doesn’t really care to wash them off so they just kinda chill there. 
He’s very easy to prank and scare
Oh you should see him around the holidays! He’s so excited! His eyes sparkle and shine, he absolutely loves the decorations!
He’s not competitive, actually. He just wanted the prize money to get the Vespa, but he doesn’t really care about winning. He just... Isn’t competitive
He is very protective over his friends. Do what you want to him, but lay a hand on someone he loves and he will tear you a new one. We see him in the movie just frown when Ercole makes fun of him, but when Ercole shoved Alberto, all bets were off.
Charts the stars
He doesn’t have one love language, he has all of them, but probably Physical Touch and Quality Time more than anything, or Acts of Service.
Drinks expresso more often than he probably should, but just to get through his schoolwork
Misses his goatfish more than he wants to admit, especially little Giuseppe
Allergies beat him up during the spring
Slowly gets used to cats with Machiavelli’s kittens, but he’s still scared of the chunky boy
A teacher at school made the mistake of introducing him to Shakespeare. He spent hours sobbing over a good chunk of the plays.
Because he liked Shakespeare, Giulia’s mom got him some poetry books. He was not a fan of Edgar Allan Poe or Agatha Christie or Mary Shelley, all the horror/murder type stuff. He loved Emily Dickinson though!
Is as terrified of losing Alberto as Alberto is terrified of losing him
While he isn’t as touchy with Giulia as he is with Alberto, he does get more touchy with her
Reads tons of books about cats, dogs, and turtles to give Machiavelli, Nerone, and Caligola the care they need
Hears about human farms and loses his mind, rapidly asking questions about how they work and if they’re similar to his own
Giulia tries to convince him that fairytales are real. He has nightmares about them for a few nights until Massimo has to tell him that fairytales are made up and her mom changes them slightly to be more... Non-scary. She starts telling them to him to bed just because she misses doing so, and then he can’t fall asleep without someone telling him a story.
Doesn’t do the handshake with anyone that isn’t Alberto or Giulia.
Giulia’s mom calls him “fishy” or “guppy” and he wants to hate it but he can’t
Hates it when people call him cute or baby him, but his family + Alberto + Marcovaldos still do it
Once heard some French Tourists and stared at Giulia and went “why is their Italian so weird sounding” and she lost her shit laughing
Doesn’t swear, refuses to swear
Tries to use Vespa stamps if they’re available
Once he learns what “Piacere, gioralamo trombetta” means, he sends a letter to Alberto which is just him freaking out and laughing while making fun of it. They don’t stop saying it. In fact, they probably say it more.
He has a map in his room with pushpins of where he’s been. Beside it are a bunch of sticky notes of where he wants to go with Alberto with reasons on why he wants to go.
Has a little bit more courage, but not too much
He’s often teased for calling others “sir” or “ma’am” and so he feels really shy about it but doesn’t stop
Refuses to call Massimo and Giulia’s mom by their names, it just feels too awkward for him
Makes friendship bracelets for the trio as well as separate ones for him and Alberto, then him and Giulia.
While he loves gelato, he doesn’t like it as much as Alberto
I feel like he’d dot the i’s in Giulia’s name with hearts but no one else’s
People at school think he has a crush on her but he doesn’t
He and Alberto still say they sleep under the anchovies. No matter how often he researches stars, he’ll always call them anchovies around him.
Sticks out his tongue when focused
Doesn’t like aquariums, he stares at those fish and he just feels trapped
Loves to dance in the rain
Does that little feet tappy dance thing when he’s excited or shakes his hands
Honestly half of his vocabulary is stern shouts of “Alberto!” “Giulia!” or “silenzio Bruno, silenzio Bruno! Silenzio Bruno!”
Speaking of, he can’t just say “Silenzio Bruno” once, it’s always him saying it more than once, especially when he’s really scared
He doesn’t have loud, aggressive sneezes, but he does have sneeze fits. Once he sneezed so many times that with every one his face got closer to his desk until it just went BAM and he has a massive bruise on his forehead for days. 
Sometimes just goes into the water and swims to relax. If he’s feeling homesick, he’ll do some daring trick and then instinctively turn to smile at Alberto only to realize he isn’t there
His dad still keeps crabs but lets Luca name them. Luca chooses to name them all after space things. Mainly moons, but sometimes planets or galaxies
Secretly feels really guilty about Alberto selling their Vespa
After almost being sent to The Deep, he is terrified of the dark and can’t sleep without a light on, no matter how dim it is
Alberto:
Matching pajamas with both Massimo and Giulia! (Refuses to match with her, Massimo yelled at them)
Tries to see what triggers his transformation. Does watermelon? Does juice? Is it any liquid? He’ll find out!
Calls Giulia “Spewlia” just to piss her off
Those two are always arguing. Yes, he often starts it
Lots of tattoos and ear piercings!
Will into Giulia’s room, stare her dead in the eyes, call her a bitch, and run out while leaving the door open. She’ll scream at him and probably throw something. 
Tends to shorten people’s names. He calls Luca “Lu,” “Lulu,” and even “Luke.” Luca does not like any of these names.
Still builds his Vespas! They’re not as fun without Luca, though
Takes Giulia with him sometimes too and purposely crashes into the sea or something just to see what she does. 
Gains quite a bit of muscle 
Is the one who takes down all the sea monster things with Massimo. He and Lorenzo carry Smuca to the fountain
Idk I feel like he has loud sneezes
I also feel like he makes that weird cough face like that one cat idk I just know I’m right
He doesn’t just sing... He scream sings
Doesn’t know how to dance but if there is music he will dance
Loves dancing in the rain too!
Sometimes he’ll just walk into Giulia’s room and gossip with her. They’ll make a blanket fort and grab some snacks and cats and just... Spend the night talking and catching up
She teaches him how to braid hair and now he just loves doing her hair
Bites his lip quite a bit. That’s canon but like, still worth mentioning
Learns how to ride a bike so he doesn’t get killed or something
Keeps a journal on things Luca and Giulia are interested in so he can learn about them. He writes down bullet points on what he remembers from conversations, but it’s honestly not much
He doesn’t have big dreams other than traveling the world with Luca. He knows Giulia wants to be a marine biologist and Luca wants to travel the world + is still figuring things out. He has short term goals other than that and changes the topic about it.
A popular headcanon is that Alberto takes care of the goatfish when Luca’s at school and I think that would happen!
He’s shockingly good with kids! When not working, he loves playing soccer with them by the fountain
He almost named Machiavelli’s mate “Frog” because he can’t name things
Half the time when Giulia and/or Luca talk about school, he goes “I don’t what that means, but I’m choosing to define it as ____” and won’t let them prove him wrong
Technically canon but he will bite. Chomp chomp.
When he meets Giulia’s mom, they love to paint together
He does make some friends in Portorosso, but none are as close to him as his sister and best friend!
This man is the most dramatic person good lord
Love language is definitely physical touch!
Still screams “Take me, gravity!” pretty often
Can’t do work alone without music. He doesn’t really like opera but he can’t stand silence, he just can’t
Sometimes he thinks of Luca’s betrayal and is really angry, but knows he’d probably do the same if the roles were reversed. It was about self preservation and the risk of living. He still gets upset about it sometimes, but completely forgives him and understands
Is always torn between giving Giulia genuine facts about sea creatures and giving her such absurd but lowkey believable lies. He wants her to succeed so badly but also wants to screw her over
If you give him anything, he will play with it. String? A toy. A pen? A toy. A literal rock you found on the side of the road? A gorgeous toy, thank you!
Never just goes into the water, he will always be dramatic and dive in or jump
Sometimes when not on duty, he just blows his lifeguard whistle because he thinks it’s cool
He loves yoyos!
Will noogie Giulia.
Sometimes gets scared that Massimo will abandon him, but it seems like Massimo always knows
Città Vuota is his favorite song!
Doodles all over everything, especially Giulia and Luca’s arms and legs. They range from little stars to tic tac toe games to fish to anything that comes to mind
Giulia:
Is very much into photography! Luca always does hearts with his hands/fingers while Alberto does stupid poses or flips her off... or both.
Hums and sings a lot! 
Also loves to dance and is the best of the trio! Loves to twirl and vibe even if there’s no music! It’s just her personality
She doesn’t just hug, she jumps into their arms and holds them close
Sometimes just to annoy Alberto she’ll hug him and press kisses to his head and cheeks. Siblings gonna be annoying.
Always has so much energy but really struggles with sitting still for homework after such long hours in school that her grades aren’t all that good except for Astronomy!
The most competitive of the trio
Bites her lip when she’s nervous
Started wearing her hat to match her dad when she was little and now she doesn’t like being without it
Has probably fallen asleep in class
Loves watermelon and gelato
While Ciccio and Guido apologize for their actions, she doesn’t forgive them and doesn’t want to. She has every right to
Gets really into singing when she’s singing along to songs
Doesn’t like makeup for herself but will hold the boys captive to do their makeup
Loves puns! Will make sea puns to piss off Alberto and Luca, but Luca loves them so it half-works
Loves copying Alberto’s lipbite
Machiavelli her beloved <3 
Loves her fam so much! She’s got pictures of them everywhere and is constantly buying them gifts
Speaking of! Her love language is giving gifts! 
She’s actually pretty good at making friends since she can read people so well. It’s just that Portorosso doesn’t have any.... Great kids to befriend and Genova just has too many that she sticks to a small group which eventually fades, as groups do
She isn’t the most emotional but she also isn’t the least emotional. She doesn’t cry often but she does get sad and shows it
I don’t know why I feel this way but I definitely think she’s scared of the doctor
She used to be scared of thunderstorms until meeting her boys and the race happened. Now she associates rain and storms with that win
Summer is her favorite season
She knows everyone in Portorosso by name and knows most of their birthdays by heart
Speaking of, she always celebrates Alberto’s birthday like her like her life depends on it
Now loves racing on her bike even more cause of the race
Calls Alberto “Berto” and is the only one allowed to do say
A very light sleeper
---
More on the way probably they’re all I think about
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romanapologist · 3 years
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give up on a miracle - sanders sides au - chp. 1
pairing(s): as of now, romantic nicomas and platonic everyone else
warnings: lots of religious stuff
summary: patton, virgil, logan, and janus are angels in charge of answering prayers. when they find out the earth is scheduled to be destroyed in a week, their only hope for saving it is to set up two humans: thomas sanders and nico flores.
word count: 3.5k
notes: this is a based off of miracle workers but not an exact au, idk it’ll be fun, you don’t have to have seen the show, you just have to like silly angel shenanigans 
Please, God, let this somehow work out.
Thomas didn’t ask for miracles too often. Well—that was a lie, he probably prayed for some inconsequential thing everyday, but he rarely meant it the way he meant this one. The man at the mall felt like fate. He was beautiful, and according to his backpack he was gay, and he was just a few tables down, and... Thomas should have just said hi as soon as he had noticed him, but he had psyched himself out. Like always.
Usually that would be the end of the story, but as Thomas was headed for the exit, the man was there too. In front of him. Speaking to him.
Thomas was too caught off guard to process the first half of what he said—though he did register being given back his abhorrent carrot snack—and when he tuned back in, all he caught was:
“Uh, it’s okay! It’s probably a bit too nosy for me to ask anyway.”
“Uh, yeah! Super nosy! What’s wrong with you, man?” was the sentence that came out of Thomas’s mouth in response. He blamed his lips for coming up with it, because he knew his mind couldn’t have been involved.
“Yeah, sorry about that,” the man smiled apologetically at him, and even that small, sheepish smile was so radiant… yeah, Thomas was mentally beating the shit out of himself. “Well, have a good night!”
So, now the fate-given man was headed somewhere else, and Thomas was about to lose him—probably forever—if he didn’t act. So, obvious answer: he had to act. But he just… couldn’t. Not without a sign at least.
Not without a push.
When no push came, Thomas told himself it wouldn’t have led anywhere anyway. He continued about his day, with only the slightest added weight in his chest.
•••
“Aw, Virge, we have to do something about this one!”
Virgil looked up from his own paperwork to see the prayer Patton had pulled up.
“‘Please, God, let this somehow work out,’” he read out dryly. “Hm, not very specific.”
“Oh, but you didn’t—c’mon, look—“ Patton waved his hand to replay the video of the scene. The figures popped up on the screen, and Patton was reminded all over again of the dopey, flustered expression of the human, Thomas, as he failed so miserably at talking to his mall crush. It was such a silly, hopeful wish—Patton’s favorite kind—and he couldn’t bear to see it go unanswered.
His fellow angel did not share this opinion, evidentially. “Nope. Nuh-uh. No way,” Virgil said, “Love prayers are stupid as shit, hardest of all, never work out. If this whole department’s getting shut down, I’d rather spend my last week answering achievable prayers.”
Patton frowned. His brown-dappled wings drooped as his excitement wavered. “Is that right, though?” he asked, “Should we really stick to… what? Finding lost wallets? Delivering extra sandwiches? Like we’ve done every year of this job? If this is all ending, I wanna finally do something that matters, Virge.”
Virgil looked betrayed. “Lost wallets do matter, Patton. Maybe they don’t end droughts, or heal hearts, but that doesn’t mean they don’t matter. If people wish for it, it matters to them. I always thought you agreed with me on that.”
Patton bit his lip. He did agree with Virgil, on some level, and on any other day he would have considered his words more carefully. But with the prayer department set to close down this very week, he had lost some of his filter. Maybe his ideas were far-fetched, but when he had joined the Department of Answered Prayers he had been hoping to do exactly that--end droughts, heal hearts.
“Virgil’s right,” chimed in Logan. Their manager made his way over, and took Patton’s tablet from his hands. He swiped upwards on the prayer, officially dismissing it as ‘impossible.’ “There is no need to feel bad, Patton. It’s not our fault humans mainly ask for impossible things. If they want impossible, they need God, and God doesn’t have that kind of time. If they want an extra sandwich… we can pull a few strings.”
Logan nodded approvingly to where Virgil was coding breezes on his tablet, screen open to a view of a rural town avenue. He was carefully, cautiously, innocuously blowing leaves into piles one-by-one. This process eventually cleared the front yard of a small house, just in time for a kind-eyed, middle-aged man to come home and cheer at the sight of the finished chore. He even did a stupid little dance to himself, and Patton saw the smallest smile tug at Virgil’s lips.
“I agree with Patton,” came a voice from over by the mini fridge. Janus was doing what he did best: sipping at the canned wine he wasn’t meant to have, not doing any work, and giving his opinion on everything anyway. “Let’s do something interesting. It’s not like it matters at this point.”
“What do you mean?” Patton squinted at him.
“Cuz the prayer department’s getting shut down, duh, what else have we been talking about?” Virgil answered.
“No,” Janus said, “Well—yes, but… you know why we’re getting shut down, right?”
Patton and Virgil tilted their heads at him, and Logan looked away. A smile appeared on Janus’s face, but not one of joy. One that had an edge, a venom in it. “Logan… you didn’t tell them?”
“It would only upset them,” the management angel replied, still not meeting Janus’s eyes.
“Yeah, because they’ll not be upset at all when they see Earth randomly explode in a few days,” Janus deadpanned.
“What?!” Patton and Virgil exclaimed in simultaneous dismay.
Logan glared at Janus. “Are you happy? Now we have to deal with this for the next week.”
“Earth can’t explode yet,” Virgil said matter-of-factly, “that’s not right. Right?”
Patton nodded emphatically. “We should’ve gotten at least a century’s notice! Or had it on a public schedule somewhere!”
“Yeah, God has to call it off. At least for now,” Virgil agreed.
“You want God to stop it?” Janus said with a laugh. “He didn’t even remember it was happening; it was His PA who told the management staff.”
“Yes, it was,” Logan narrowed his eyes at Janus. “How did you find out about it anyway?”
Janus opened his mouth, but before he could answer, Virgil cut in, “God’s not gonna do anything about it?”
“It’s been in His plan. Why would He need to change it?” Logan asked rhetorically, adjusting his large, round-framed glasses as he did so. It was a movement he made often when he was being a know-it-all.
“How’s Earth gonna die?” Patton asked, looking at the floor, still in denial. He had lived his life on Earth, he had been a human—they all had, before they died and became angels. It had been so long since he’d been alive, he couldn’t quite remember the feeling of it. The memory was blurred around the edges, but it still seeped warmth, like dough burning into bread over a fire. Now, the only connection he had to that sensation were the humans--the chance to watch them, how they lived such utterly flawed, full lives. He recalled Thomas’s hopeful expression.
“Asteroid,” Logan replied. He didn’t need to check his files to give the answer, his ink-blue wings stiff behind him--and that was when Patton knew, despite his cold, indifferent attitude, this news was weighing on him too.
“Like the dinosaurs. Well, bigger. But still unoriginal of Him,” Janus scoffed, checking his nails—well, more like checking his gloves, which seemed unnecessary. Something mournful crossed his face for a moment, but Patton couldn’t place what. “The dinosaurs were sad too.”
“You lived in the 19th century. You weren’t around for dinosaurs,” Logan stated, brow furrowed in confusion. Janus ignored him.
“An asteroid? He could prevent that so easily! Earth deserves to at least live to its natural end,” Patton said. He glanced to Virgil, hoping for backup, but his coworker seemed most focused on biting his black-polished nails into dust.
“Well, isn’t it the natural end if it was in His plan?” Logan asked, once again, rhetorically. He also adjusted his glasses again. Patton liked to think of himself as particularly nice, even for an angel, but he wouldn’t have minded seeing those glasses broken in that moment.
“I’m more interested in your claim that Earth doesn’t ‘deserve’ to end,” Janus smiled at Patton. It was a slippery kind of smile, one that he couldn’t grasp the intentions of. “Overall, it’s a dumpster fire of a planet, wouldn’t you agree? I mean, 99% of the prayers are literally impossible for angels to answer at this point.”
“Yeah, well, I know some angels who are too busy with their shitty wine to even try—“ Virgil began to complain, turning on Janus, but Patton was too busy having a revelation to pay much attention to it.
“That’s it!” Patton exclaimed, jumping up from his seat with a grin.
“Please, be more specific, Patton,” Logan sighed. “Define ‘it.’”
Patton was, once again, too busy to pay attention to this. He made for the doorway with haste, only tossing over his shoulder: “I’m going to meet God!”
•••
Logan, Janus, and Virgil made it to God’s office before Patton did. He wasn’t the best with maps, so sue him. The trio was waiting in the grand hallway for him, and he was thankful that they had decided to back him up, despite the fact they had no idea what he was doing. Even though the coworkers bickered their fair share, you couldn’t work as the only 4 angels in a crumbling department without a certain bond forming.
Patton gave them a grateful smile as he strolled past them and right up to the secretary’s desk. The secretary, who was… not present? He checked the name plaque. Engraved in the gold of it was: Mrs. Snuffles, but the ‘u’ had been scratched out and written over so that it was Mrs. Sniffles. Before Patton could even begin to be perplexed by this, a large orange tabby hopped up from the floor, where she had been hidden, and onto the desk.
The cat looked him in the eye, with a surprising amount of purpose, and meowed.
“Hello?” Patton asked, dumbfounded. “...Mrs. Sni—Snuffles?”
She meowed again, this time with an undercurrent of what Patton could only assume was impatience.
“I—“ Patton looked back at the group behind him, but they just shrugged. They were following his lead. That couldn’t be good. “We would like to schedule a meeting with God, please.”
Mrs. Snuffles trotted over to a stack of papers, and pushed the top one aside with a swipe of her paw. She looked up from it after a moment, and then jumped down from the table, going up to the gilded, arched doorway at the end of the hall. She started meowing loudly, and soon an angel with cardinal-red wings and a matching red suit jacket stepped out. He looked down at Mrs. Snuffles, then up at Patton.
“I’m terribly sorry, but God is not available right now. He’s very busy,” the angel explained with a polite smile, the kind that was trained and not felt, “and he will be until Earth explodes. Thank you, goodbye.”
“Oh,” Patton said dumbly. He maybe should have expected that.
Mrs. Snuffles hissed at the angel, and he sighed. “You really think they want to talk to Him?”
“We do!” Patton interjected.
“You think you do,” the angel replied, an undercurrent of bitterness to his tone.
“Same difference, right?” Patton said, giving the other a hopeful smile.
“Just let us in, Princey,” Virgil’s annoyed voice came from behind. “Don’t be an ass. At least not more of one than usual.”
Patton looked between the two of them. “You know each other?”
‘Princey’ gave Virgil a deadpan glare. “Fine. You want a meeting with God? Be my guest.” He stepped aside from the doorway, gesturing to it with a sarcastic flourish.
When no one else made a move, Virgil grumbled and pushed past Patton. The rest of the group followed. When they got to the door, Patton paused and turned to the red-winged man. “Princey—“
“Roman,” he corrected.
“Roman,” Patton repeated. He pointed at the cat curiously, “Mrs. ‘Sniffles’?”
Roman blushed. “I was allergic when I was alive.”
A resounding reply of “Me too!” went through the group, and they all turned to each other in mild surprise.
“It’s how I died!” Patton added cheerily.
“Huh,” Roman replied with a puzzled frown. He cleared his throat. “Well, good luck.”
“Thank you!” Patton said. He looked down at Mrs. Snuffles as well, “Thank you, too.”
She gave him a final, curt meow, and rubbed up to his legs, pushing his feet against the door. He laughed, turned to the others waiting for him, and they nodded. Roman opened the door, and gestured them in.
Patton didn’t know what he had expected God’s office to look like, but it was decidedly not what he found upon entering that door. He had expected something resembling the grand hallway leading up to it: golden statues, velvet carpet, ivory columns. And, sure, that seemed to be the basis of the office; it was everything that was added on that was surprising. The bookshelves were stacked exclusively with trashy magazines, the walls were covered in posters of boy bands and movie stars, and a side-room had been renovated into what appeared to be a personal Starbucks. Finally, in the center of it all, sitting on the sofa and watching TV, was:
“...God?” Patton asked unsurely.
The man--(should Patton call Him that?)--eyed the group from behind a pair of sunglasses. He didn’t bother to turn the TV off as He casually greeted, “Hey, babes! What’s up?”
“Um,” Patton glanced at his friends for help, but they were clearly just as lost as him. Well, not Janus; Janus seemed unbothered. This provided Patton some sense of comfort, enough for him to continue, “We wanted to ask about--”
“Hold that thought, hun,” God held up a finger. “Roman!”
Roman walked in, almost reluctantly, at the call. “Yes?”
“Be a peach and mute the TV, would you?” God asked, throwing His PA the remote. Roman caught it as if with practice, and pressed the mute button with a wry expression.
“Thanks, love you!” God said, then turned back to Patton. “What were we talking about?”
“Well--”
God tried to sip the frappe in His drink-holder, only to find it empty, and He interrupted again to say, “Roman, coffee alert! Mama needs His caffeine!”
Roman bit his lip, presumably to stop himself from letting out a sigh. When he walked to the Starbucks corner, he seemed to purposefully avoid eye contact with the group. Patton glanced at his friends, and found Virgil suppressing an amused grin, and Janus not bothering to suppress his.
“We wanted to ask about the end of the world,” Patton finally said.
God’s brow furrowed slightly. “End of the world? Oh! OH, that is coming up, isn’t it? When’s that again, Ro?”
Roman, from behind the coffee maker, replied, “7 and a half days.”
“Oo, fun!” God gasped, “That’s so soon! I totally forgot that was so soon, isn’t that crazy?”
“So crazy,” Roman agreed dryly, handing Him a new venti frappe.
“Right,” Patton said, almost at a loss, “So, you… want the world to end?”
God shrugged, using one finger to play with his coffee straw as he spoke. “It was in my plan, wasn’t it? Plus, I mean, y’know… Earth’s really, like, ‘ew’ right now, right? Like, sure, I COULD save it, and then I’d let the humans keep doing their little thing, but I don’t want that; they’re mostly messes. I wanna make… I dunno a new place with, like, more Idris Elba’s.”
“And you’re willing to kill the real Idris Elba for that?” Janus cut in. God looked him up and down critically, before asking,
“Hey, do I know you from something?”
“No,” Janus replied quickly, “Certainly not from Eden, and even if I was there, I wasn’t the snake. I’m a real angel, hush.”
Patton turned to him in confusion, but God just shrugged again, and said, “K, whatever. Anyway, yeah, what’d you gals wanna know about Earth again?”
“Um, we wanted you to, maybe… not… blow it up?” Patton asked.
“Hmm,” God hummed, “Thanks, but no thanks! Earth is gross, I’m just so over it, you know?”
“No, I don’t know,” Patton replied without thinking, unable to hide the frustration in his voice anymore, “If Earth’s messed up, all the more reason to be there for your children, and not just kill everything. It’s wrong.”
There was a ‘thunk’ against the floor, and Patton looked to see that Roman had dropped the old coffee cup he had been carrying to the trash. Logan and Virgil were staring at Patton with equally stricken expressions, and Janus’s face was unreadable. He suddenly realized what he had said. He then realized how many angels had fallen for saying much less.
God stood up slowly. He approached Patton until He was uncomfortably close.
 “Awe,” He pouted, “babe, I know it’ll be sad, but how am I supposed to change it now? It’s in the plan, hun. I’m sure you understand.” He patted his cheek once condescendingly--a touch that carried the pleasant warmth of a sunbeam--before He stepped back and took a long sip of His coffee. Patton didn’t break eye contact the whole time.
“I have an idea,” Patton said in a newly sunny tone--the type of overly kind, conversational tone that should be feared-- “How about a bet?”
“Are you for real?” God gaped at the continued insolence, somewhere between disbelief and delight. In the end, delight--or at least novelty--won. “Deal with the Devil is out, deal with God is in; OK, I’m into it!”
“You say it’s too hard to save Earth now? Impossible, even?” Patton asked challengingly. He heard a quiet gasp of realization from Logan, and when he glanced behind himself, he noticed Janus was smiling, as if impressed. This gave him enough confidence to continue, “Impossible, like it would be impossible for a few random angels to answer an unanswerable prayer?”
“Sweetie, I don’t know what you’re saying, but I love the way you’re saying it,” God waved His hand appreciatively.
Patton took Logan’s tablet from his hands. He scrolled to find the ‘Discarded Prayers: Impossible’ file. He held it out to God for proof as he concluded, “If we can answer one of these prayers before the end of the world, surely you can stop it from ending.”
“THAT’S your plan?! Pat, we can’t complete the possible prayers half the time,” Virgil exclaimed. He buried his face in his hands. “Earth’s dead.”
God, however, let out a dreamy sigh, holding one hand against His chest. Patton wasn’t sure if he was meant to feel like the ambitious hero or the prize dog at a pet show. “You know, I should say no…” God bit his lip with the same expression a suburban mother might have when she was about to cheat on her juice cleanse, “...but I never could resist a little twist! Ok, shake on it!”
God extended His hand, and Patton took it without hesitation.
“I, God, proclaim: Earth will not be destroyed next week if, and only if, an impossible prayer is answered.” As He spoke, His palm began to glow white, such that Patton had to look away for fear of being blinded. If God’s touch had been a sunbeam previously, it was now the whole sun, and Patton almost cried out from the burning heat. Technically, he didn’t have skin in the same way he did when he was alive, but he swore he felt it melting off in that grip.
Yet when God pulled away, there was no extra light in the room, no damage to his hand.
God smiled innocently. “Ok! Cute! So, what prayer you gonna choose?”
Huh. Patton hadn’t thought that far ahead. Maybe Virgil’s concern wasn’t so unwarranted. He looked down at the tablet he was still holding. His eyes scanned past several prayers that were beyond impossible--fix capitalism, no more YouTube ads, fix global warming, no more incels--until his eyes caught on just the thing. An unabashed grin overtook Patton’s face in realization,
“Oh, I know exactly what prayer we’re doing.”
•••
“Well, have a good night!”
Nico turned his back on the cute mall man after he said it, and he had to push down the urge to glance back a final time. He tried not to believe in true love—it was at best unlikely, and at worst an extremely problematic trope—but he was a writer, and a daydreamer, and when he spotted the man a few tables down at the food court… he just knew.
Ok, he didn’t know, there was no way to know that kind of thing—but he did want. He did hope. And he did, in a move that was unprecedented for him, pray:
Please, if anyone’s up there: I know it’s silly, but I want this so badly. And I know it’s basically impossible at this point but, maybe… if we meet again... let this somehow work out?
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stetervault · 4 years
Note
Hello! Do you do rec lists? Would you be willing rec some Steter fics that aren't the most common/popular ones? If not, no worries!
Technically this isn’t a rec-finding blog lol but I do make rec lists sometimes if someone asks and I have the time and I feel like it. Here are some (I think?) less known Steter fics, oldies that people may have missed or forgotten (Idk how well I succeeded, I just picked a bunch that have significantly less reads/bookmarks than the really big fics):
Fear (Doesn't Mean I Can't Fight) by azerblazer
Peter is the damsel in distress, the Sheriff is the hostage, random unnamed hunters are the bad guys.
Stiles has a bat, a hoodie and a willingness to do anything to protect those he's loyal to.
Bring it on.
A Lean and Hungry Look by kototyph
The woods aren't the only place you find wolves.
You're Mine, Valentine by orphan_account
In which Peter decides to court Stiles, and does so by leaving him hearts.
Bloody ones.
Zodiac by Green
"You know, Taurus and Libra make a good match," Peter says with a sly smile.
Stiles looks away. "Yeah. I looked that up, too."
Surviving Peter and the Zombie Apocalypse by Nopennamesleft
Its the end of the world and Stiles has run out of luck. He saves a werewolf from certain death. Will they begin to rely on each other to survive or will the wolf just eat Stiles for a midnight snack?
He Is A Villain By The Devil's Law by neglectedtuesday
Stiles’ lungs are burning, blood is pumping through his veins and he’s pretty sure that if he stops running then he’ll just keel over into the gutter. But God does he feel alive. The sirens are wailing, loud and clear. Just one more block. One more block. Stiles ducks down an alleyway, the bag full of bank notes swinging behind him. It hits his side with a dull thud. The alley smells like cat pee and yesterdays trash so Stiles breathes shallowly through his mouth. He continues walking down it until he reaches the end. It opens out onto the street. He stops just shy of the exit, waiting. He waits a bit more. Then he kicks a can lying idle on the ground. He whips out his burner phone, punching in a number.
“Where the fuck are you?” Stiles growls, “Where’s my goddamn getaway car?”
“Change of plans Stilinski, you’re gonna have to get away on your own. Also ditch the phone.”
Fascinated by lemonstiles, migratoryslashfan
Stiles pontificates over Peter's naked body.
Night-blooming Flowers by imriebelow
Peter always gets what he wants. Stiles learns to live with it.
None of These Things (Are Happening) by Horribibble
After years away, Stiles returns to Beacon Hills just in time to put Isaac's insides back where they belong.
It's cute how people think he's trustworthy.
-
Peter can smell the violence inside him, the urge to do something grand and possibly cataclysmic. It’s there—mixed with a balance and natural calm, but in the undercurrent, it’s there. He has seen things beyond the scope of Beacon Hills’ petty horror show. He has learned things.
The Terrible Things We Do (For Love) by rospeaks
Being a demon, he’s seen some of the pretty nasty things that humans are willing to do for love. Things that, were he still alive (and human), would make him hesitate to be in a relationship with anyone lest his partner start getting some funny ideas. That said—
"This seems a little desperate for a kid your age," he says to Stiles.
Spin, Sweet Clotho by ChuckleVoodoos
Oh, it’s a beautiful thing to watch, the way they dance around each other, spun in sugar and glittering glass. Like a fragile little fairytale, a tender rosebud just waiting to unfurl. It makes Peter sick.
Because love is a fairytale, and his dear darling nephew does not deserve a happy ending.
whisper by tricksterity
Stiles was tired.
He was done of people pushing him and his pack around. They’d already lost so much and he was damned if he’d let them lose anyone else, especially to this psychopath who had no reasons for what he did other than he liked it.
And that’s when the whispers in his mind grew louder.
Remember Darling, All the While by Sang_argente
It was fire, ice, electricity. It was the first kiss, the last kiss, and every kiss inbetween. It was lips parting, tongues sliding, hearts beating.
Impress Me by ToAStranger
Their new English teacher has gone missing.
Falling Upward by moonstalker24
There is nothing quite like flying. There is a calm and a peace found in the sky that cannot be found on earth. All the chaos of the world is below you and there is no sound save that which the propeller makes as the engine turns it. You are free and unfettered and the clouds are close enough to touch; all you need do is stretch out your hand to grasp them.
Stiles takes Peter flying after he gets out of Eichen House.
Sweeter Than Gingerbread by taylorpotato (Stetallison)
The saying goes that lovers who commit suicide together start their next life as twins. Perhaps that's why Stiles and Ally feel the way they do about each other.
The Shadow Effect by Mysenia
What was the fun in being a twin if you couldn't trick a person or two?
Deep under by Sashaya
There's a reason Stiles knows so much about drowning. He'd rather not remember why...
All the World's a Stage (but the light design is subpar) by BonesOfBirdWings
Peter Hale is a successful Off-Broadway actor, and Stiles is a stage lighter who literally falls into his life.
Peter smiled at him. "Thank you, Stiles. But should I take this to mean that you don't want a meatball sandwich from Banh Mi Saigon?"
Stiles' mouth dropped open. "You - I - Yes, I want! Oh my god, you do the best apologies! Can you piss me off more, please? I accept all future apologies enthusiastically!"
Peter chuckled. "I'm sure that won't be a problem, dear boy. I've been informed that I'm an asshole by a very reliable source."
Stiles beamed. "But you have good taste in food, so things balance out?" he ventured.
Peter threw back his head and laughed. Stiles' grin brightened in answer.
The D.C. Backroom Deal by septima_sum
Stiles is a regular prostitute with moderate life goals – until his current client makes him an offer he can’t refuse.
Strange Duet by BelleAmante, thiliart (thilia)
The past three years have been a series of shocking, or not so shocking, successes for 2018 Tony award winner and two time Grammy nominee, Stiles Stilinski. You don’t typically find classically trained opera singers singing alternative folk rock to crowds at Coachella. Nor do you find indie singer/songwriters winning best actor awards at the Tony’s for their Broadway debuts. Stilinski has made it his lifetime habit to defy and exceed all expectations.
-or-
A Steter fic loosely based on Phantom of the Opera
Hold Me Down by sneksonaplane
Waking up in Peter Hale’s bed was weird. Waking up in Peter Hale’s body was even weirder. Stiles had been disoriented and confused when he’d found himself in a plush, king sized bed in an unfamiliar bedroom instead of in his own room (and seriously, why did Peter even need a king sized bed? Why would anyone need a bed that big?) It had all come back to him when he’d glimpsed the body he was inhabiting, one that was shorter but more defined than his own, and older, and kind of hot.
OR
The one where Stiles and Peter swap bodies, Peter relives his adolescence, Stiles suffers, and then suffers a little less when he discovers Peter's fetlife profile where he's listed as a submissive seeking a daddy.
It Was A Dark And Stormy Night by Guede
This is a ghost story. It’s not straightforward.
Put My Faith in Something Unknown by Twisted_Mind
He doesn’t know how long he sits there, suspended between thought and action, unable to feel. At some point, he becomes aware that there’s a hand on his face. A warm palm cradles his jaw, and a thumb brushes across his cheekbone tenderly.
The Rest of Our Lives by mia6363
“I don’t know, as a kid I watched a lot of movies, you know? And at first I figured like… I’d be on some great adventure that would take me away from it all, you know? Like Indiana Jones comes around and is all, ‘Hey Stiles, buddy, come with me we’ve got to go save the world.’ Then… you and… everything happened… then I just… I figured I’d die before I was eighteen.”
Enemy Action by pprfaith
Once is chance, twice is coincidence and three times is far too many bodies on the ground.
Buy Me a New Pair by Julibean19
"I don't practice law much these days."
"And why is that?" Stiles asked, wondering why a handsome and presumably successful lawyer wouldn't want to continue working.
"I've been drawn away by more pleasurable pursuits," Peter said, lips quirked upward as he spoke.
Tale as Old as Time by wynnebat
The one in which Lydia's got better things to do than be Belle, Stiles is a much more likeable Gaston, and Peter is a beast but not quite beastly.
The clothes make the man by FeelingsDusk
The trick to sneaking into a building where you shouldn’t be is to make it seem to all eyes like you should. Stiles has been doing this since he was a little older than toddler and he wanted to get back his Batman action figure from the evidence room in his dad’s Police Station.
(Spolier alert: just like back then, Stiles gets caught.)
Smile Like You Mean It by NinaRooxx
After sulking about the changing weather over the autumn, Stiles notices that despite the weather getting colder, Peter’s wardrobe isn’t changing at all.
Swing by ShippersList
Stiles wants to fly.
Angels, Devils, and Peter by Triangulum
Everyone has an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other. They give advice, help guide their human through life. They tempt, they listen, they offer help. Everyone has one of each. Everyone except for Stiles.
OR
Stiles and Peter are murder husbands.
love and madness by sinequanon
Peter and Stiles haven’t seen each other in months when the alphas ask them to meet up to look over an abandoned house. Now, they’re going to be seeing a lot of each other for quite a while to come.
Not This Again by RebaK1tten
There's a rumor that the last episode of the show will have Peter getting killed, again. Perhaps to give him a redemption arc or something.
A Light at the (Near) End of the World by ladyoneill
The world he grew up in has ended in a supernatural war that devastated the human population. A survivor, Stiles lives a solitary, quiet life in Wales until there's a knock on his door.
Through Space and Time by MaroonDragon
When Stiles pulls the body of Peter Hale into his ship, he doesn't expect him to be alive. He also doesn't realise he might have gotten more than he bargained for.
His Color by SushiOwl
“Darling, have you been carrying a throw-away comment I made in your mind for almost four months?”
Stiles’s face felt like it was one with fire now.
After You by FlyAwayMeow (rjaejoo)
It’s true that sometimes what you want the most, you can’t have and that you’ll miss what you once had all along when it’s finally gone.
After breaking his engagement to Chris, Peter heads to New York to start over. He meets Stiles, a young author at his publishing house who helps him piece his confidence back together. When tragedy strikes, he discovers how to finally let go of his past and have the family and future he's always wanted with the pieces already in his life.
Looking After You by Slayer_of_Destiny
Can Peter be a chance for Stiles, can Stiles be a second chance for Peter? When Peter offers Stiles a relationship will the younger man take the chance with the werewolf?
Maybe We Both Are by lavenderlotion
The first time Stiles lets his fingers brush against Peter he wasn’t expecting the response he got. They were sitting on Stiles bed researching something. Or, they were researching. Now they were just talking. They did that a lot these days, just talked. They also ate together a lot. Or got coffee.
these words bear my scars (paint your love on my skin) by WindyRein
One day butterflies and childish codes change to I'm sorry you're meant for a murderer and he won't realize for years how much that changed his life.
Before you let go (and the light takes you in) by Issay
Stiles makes one last errand - goes to leave flowers on all the other graves. Fuck, so many graves. The grief is as endless and as inescapable as the sky.
He goes home and there is a thing wearing his father's face, waiting for him in the kitchen.
The Lady of Lightning by kiranightshade
"Those who foolishly sought power by riding the back of the tiger ended up inside"
Can You Use Lube For That? by AlreadyBoss
“You think your what is haunted now?” Surely he'd misheard. There was no way-
“My vibrator,” Stiles answered with alarming sincerity.
Well. He hadn't misheard after all.
Pianist Envy by Bunnywest
Stiles is the piano player.Peter can think of other things he'd like to see those hands do.Shame the guy's straight.
Everything You Deserve by Areiton
You think about it. More than you should, you think about it. About what would have happened, if you had bitten Stiles instead of Scott.
Home by Ragga
Don't be like him, they would say, and then add, or else you get burned.
Unable to bear the whispers any longer, This One left. He forsook those who forsook him, left him bear his scars alone, the scars he bore for his herd. It was better to be alone, stay off the currents, than swim with those most undeserving of his loyalty. So mote it be.
That is, until he met That One.
Lord Peter by Therapeutic_Steter
Peter rung out the rag before gently placing it on his mother’s head, reaching over to feel his father’s equally flushed features.
“Such a good boy,” his mother said, patting his arm with what little strength she had remaining. His father smiled softly at him even as his fell unconscious. Peter pushed back the lump in his throat, smiling shakily for his mother before venturing out into the living space.
knit me together by nezstorm
Peter asks Stiles to stay the night after a really awful day.
Warriors by CinnamonLily
Peter is ten years old when humans discover Azure, a planet not unlike Earth. From there on, he wants to learn everything about their new neighbors and the planet itself. It takes him over twenty years to get to Azure, but when he does, it's so worth it. His anthropologist heart is happy, and a new acquaintance in the form of an Azurian called Stiles might just make the rest of him happy, too.
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baejacob · 6 years
Note
hi! I'm just getting into the boyz and was wondering if you had any recommendations on how to learn all their names? I've watched a bunch of their videos on youtube but am still having trouble identifying everyone...
hello bb!! what i would recommend is watching their vlive videos, especially the ones with all 12 of them on the thumbnail! they always introduce themselves in the very beginning and hold up their name-tags. here are the ones that are subbed:
their very first vlive 
after their first fanmeet
before flower snack (their show)
more here from thesubz youtube!
also, if you haven’t already i recommend that you watch every episode of flower snack shop (which are all subbed)! one of many things i liked about the show is how each one of the boyz’ unique personalities were showcased evenly, and i think it would really help to associate those traits with their looks to remember them hehe (open the boyz also does a great job at defining them by their personalities/quirks)
BUT if you are short on time (each ep is like an hour long) ep.8 had a relay of all of them describing each other which is 100000% GOLDEN:
click here and then skip to 29:42 for the relay
more under the cut (i talk too much)
so what i usually do for groups i wanna stan but have trouble remembering the members, is listing a few practical and easy-to-remember things about them. so let’s do it together for the boyz my lovely anonie!!!! sidenote: they are all visuals 
KEVIN (feb 23 1998) & 2. HWALL (march 9 2000)
i am doing these two together because i know they’re easy to mix up (they’re TWINS lmao) so i’m going to try to sort out some of their differences
here’s kevin (named after kevin from home alone):
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-his hair is always styled and his forehead always exposed-a cute n thin upper lip lol-strong brows-an english speaker-vocal/piano/artist (has golden hands, can do everything)
here’s hwall: 
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-hair also always styled to expose his forehead-strong brows-has a helix piercing and often wears dangling earrings-eye smile!!!!!!!!-a FASHIONISTA-contemporary dancer, rapper + vocal
THE DIFFERENCE?-i think hwall’s features are overall sharper that he looks cold and chic whereas kevin looks....... soft-what are some difference u see op??????? my mind can’t function rn hagijdsk
     3. SANGYEON (nov 4 1996)
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-a MAN........... thicc thighs!!!!!!!!-has a dimple on his right cheek and he is ALWAYS smiling-when he smiles his entire face lights up-leader, vocal
     4. JACOB (may 30 1997)
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-not that i’m biased or anything but he is a full on angel-his eyelid fold is pretty prominent-speaks english (and his voice is very very soft)-vocal, guitar
     5. YOUNGHOON (august 8 1997)
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-he said it himself that he has a big head, i think his face shape is long (n extremely handsome)-the tallest i believe (so you will be able to point him out in group pics)-he was in ioi’s whatta man mv, john park’s dnd-vocal, he has a very strong and classic voice
     6. HYUNJAE (sept 13 1997)
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-he has twinkling eyes and his lips always look so soft and pretty-very laughable and weird but shy in front of fans-he kind of seems scary but he is literally the complete 360 of that (unless he’s acting re: prank on juyeon in flower snack ep2)-vocal, dance
     7. JUYEON (jan 15 1998)
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-plays basketball (so does jacob but i forgot to put it up there oops)-he’s so PURE, innocent and kind of naive -his jawline is pretty square like his chin is not a V/sharp-a sharp n beautiful nose-dance, vocal
     8. NEW (april 26 1998) 
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-has very pouty lips, when he poses he looks like an actual model-his double eyelid is very thick (idk how else to describe it pls forgive me)-soft voice (the easiest to tell apart imo) and both his talking & singing voice are so wonderful to listen to-i used to think he was cold/scary-ish but he is soft and talks/laughs a lot-vocal
     9. Q (nov 5 1998)
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-easiest way to remember him is Q => KYU => KYUTE => CUTE (he’s the QTEST human on earth i swear!!!!!)-long neck-deep dimples-a tiny figure (his waist is so small!!!!)-dance, center (in their predebut dance routines, he is ALWAYS in the middle)
     10. JUHAKNYEON (mar 9, 1999)
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-to describe in one two words: adorable and lovable (couldnt choose one)-his eye shape is so pretty, kind of like a cat-eye-jeju boy, has a pig farm, loves to eat-his smile is contagious!!!!!! -dance, vocal, face
     11. SUNWOO (april 12 2000)
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-rap king!!!!! (was on high school rapper)-his lips are very plump-officially has the biggest head in the boyz i love him-his hair style is always the same (down, bangs)-rap, vocal
     12. ERIC (december 22 2000)
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-cool and cute maknae-i think he has a little bit of a lisp :’)-tall nose!!!-speaks english, very outgoing and not shy-i think he looks like nct dream’s jeno-rap, dance
WHEW isn’t this an essay! if you need more resources to get to know them, many creators here on tumblr have made many amazing posts:
1hyungseo’s INTRO. THE BOYZ
incorrecttheboyz’s pptx GET TO KNOW THE BOYZ
kimseokjins’ INTRODUCING THE BOYZ
and THEBOYZNET is everything the boyz! everything else you need to find is there.
on twitter @/zhuhaknyeon & @/itsjuyeon are my go-to for updates, subbed content and more!
hopefully i was of any help ;___; if all else fails, pls don’t hesitate to slide into my dms and we can talk n scream about the boyz together and i will do my best to help you more!
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