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#that i was moved to buy the novelized text to get to understand more of what i hadn’t already learned from school
popopretty · 3 months
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[Translation] Asagiri Kafka's afterwords for The Day I Picked up Dazai novel
Normally, afterwords would be the last thing I read in a novel, but as there are not many changes to the published novel this time compared to the movie bonus version, I was able to skim through the text quickly and get to this. And to be honest, despite not being a writer myself, I was so moved by Asagiri's views about writing and his characters that he shared in the afterwords, that I had to sit down and translate it right away.
This is just my crappy translation, as usual, but I hope it gave you a short, interesting look into the author and the characters. And please do not forget to buy the novel if you have the chance.
The translation is under the cut, thank you!
It has been a while. This is Asagiri Kafka.
Have you been enjoying Bungou Stray Dogs?
This novel, “The Day I Picked up Dazai”, is a compilation of the first week’s bonus novel “The Day I Picked up Dazai – Side A” and the second week’s bonus novel “The Day I Picked up Dazai – Side B” for the screening of “Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST” movie (hereinafter referred to as “BEAST”).
Normally, it is difficult to publish a bonus like this, but since "BEAST” and “Fifteen” that were published earlier by BEANS Bunko were originally bonus novels too, "The Day I Picked up Dazai” was also published in the same way, thanks to the efforts of all parties involved in the Bungou Stray Dogs series.
It is the story of Dazai and Odasaku’s first meeting, where Dazai who wants to die, collapsed in front of Odasaku’s place, who is neither a mafioso nor a hit man.
Why are there two different stores, Side A and Sode B? Regarding this question, please read the novel and see for yourself. If you keep in mind that this is the bonus for the BEAST movie, I think you will be able to understand it better.
Let me reminisce a little bit here.
This story was actually suggested to me by Igarashi Takuya, Director of the Bungou Stray Dogs anime.
Shortly before BEAST movie premiered, I was struggling. It was because I was asked to write a bonus novel for movie-goers again. I said “again” because, as I mentioned earlier, BEAST itself was a bonus novel for the Bungou Stray Dogs DEAD APPLE movie. I remembered having a hard time writing it, because I let myself run wild and wrote a total of 190 pages instead of 50 pages as requested.
But I had learnt my lesson after the last rampage. I can’t just write whatever I want anymore. I have to wrap the story in a reasonable length, like a pro should do.
A proper, professional story.
Huh?
My pen stopped right there. I stopped, looked around, feeling lost.
What is a proper story?
The act of writing novel is quite different in character compared to other types of media such as writing manga, anime scripts, or game scenarios. You can say it is almost a different thing. Writing novels, rather than narrating an event, is more like putting the flow of emotions into specific sentences. You use the sequence of letters to create rhythms, create flows, and create emotions. If anything, it might be closer to composing a song than writing a story.
Therefore, you have to decide “what kind of emotion will be put in this novel” from the very beginning, or you can’t start writing. That is the only and absolute rule.
Now, however, that is where the condition of a “proper story” hung over me.
A proper novel, of a proper volume, with a proper content for a bonus.
In other words, a proper emotion.
I searched through the drawers inside my head. For a proper emotion that is waiting to be brought out.
There was nothing but emptiness there.
A professional story teller is one with the skill to move the readers’ emotions. When people find the chance to move their own emotions, they will happily be paying for it. Human-being is that kind of creature.
And writers are ones who create and sell those kinds of emotions: the fear, the excitement, the heart throb etc., those that make you think. It is that kind of job.
It is supposed to be that kind of job.
Yet I became unable to move forward.
A good story is a story that moves people. I know that. Then what kind of emotion I should put in the story to make it "proper"?
How do I find that emotion?
I mean, how did I even write novels until now?
I stood still. My legs stiffened, my knees froze, unable to take even a step forward.
I then tried to at least pretend that I was moving forward, by listening to music, by taking a walk around the neighborhood at night. But as good as the night breeze felt, I didn’t manage to reach a single story that I needed to write.
What if I stayed like this forever, what would I do?
I felt a chill plunging into my back.
Then I realized, that stories, or probably emotions too, are not things you can search for or come up with. You have no choice but to patiently wait for it to come your way. You have no choice but to humbly and earnestly sit and wait for the story’s visit.
I got that, but the "proper 50-page story” still refused to come.
It was not long before one week passed. Then two weeks.
I was doing other work, while keeping my heart’s door open, waiting for the story to come to me.
At that time, I had an online meeting with the anime staff. I casually asked Director Igarashi, “Do you have any story you want to see?”
The Director gave it a little thought then told me, "I want to see the story of Dazai and Oda’s encounter”.
At that very moment, the story rushed in through my door, like a bang. I could hear that sound very clearly.
Two stories. Odasaku, and the two Dazais. A story where they met, and a story where they couldn’t meet. A story of gain and a story of loss. If I can portray the gain and loss side by side, the amplitude of the heart will be doubled and rise up in front of us.
That was a momentary event. Rather than pushing my way forward, I felt as if something was pulling my hand. Before I noticed, I have already finished the stories.
I came to realize.
It is not the writer who searches for the story. It is the story that chooses its writer, and at some point it will come our way. A professional writer is no more than someone with the ability to catch that call.
Also, this is the most important thing: there is no such thing as a “proper emotion”. Because after all, the feelings of other people belong to them only. That is why there is no guarantee that a novel can move others “properly”. However, you can move your own emotions. You know what kind of novel can and how it will move you. If you do, you can write just that. That’s the only way. That is the truly professional attitude. That’s what I thought.
Well then.
It is a little bit off topic, but as we are talking about “stories that come our way”, let’s talk about Odasaku’s first-person narrative.
Odasaku is a special character. For me, he is exclusively a novel character, and I have never portrayed him in the manga.
He first appeared as the narrator in “Dazai Osamu and The Dark Era”, then “BEAST” and now this “The Day I Picked up Dazai”. All are novels. That’s why for me, Odasaku doesn’t live inside the pictures, he lives inside the first-person narrative passages.
He is an eccentric guy. Even if you prepare the place and tell him to speak, he won’t speak to you that easily. His way of thinking is rather unique, that if I write his narrative after writing other characters’ first-person narrative, I would stumble for sure. Odasaku doesn’t speak. He just sits there in silence, while I can do nothing but sitting in front of my blank manuscript paper, trying to talk to him, like “What’s up?”, “Here, here”. However, he is a guy who won’t speak when it is not necessary. Sometimes it goes days or even weeks without him saying a word. Why did such a character come to me...?
During such time, there is only one thing I can do. That is, of course, to stay with him, sit patiently, and simply wait.
Finally he will start speaking. In his unique rhythm, word by word. His words have the power to cut through the world from a certain angle. That special cross-section is full of things I have never seen before and it never fails to surprise me.
And then when he finishes telling his story, he will swiftly disappear. To a dark and quiet place somewhere – probably, I can only imagine, somewhere like a bar. He will sit there calmly and keep his own time to himself. After that, it will be hard to call him again. It is a backbreaking task to me, but in the end, that is the type of guy Odasaku is, and if I am allowed to sound self-conscious, that is Odasaku's charm.
This story was written in such a way. There is a chance that he will come back again. And when he does, I will patiently listen to his voice again.
This story was completed and published thanks to the help of many people: in the Bungou Stray Dogs BEAST movie’s Production Committee, the anime staff, Young Ace’s Editorial Department, BEANS Bunko’s Editorial Department, and the many people who were involved in the publication of the book. Thank you very much. It is all thanks to you that the book was published without any problem this time as well.
Well then, see you in the next story.
Asagiri Kafka.
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belphies-cowgirl · 8 months
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little things they do for you
word count: 900+
content warning: mentions of body image (if I am missing anything please let me know and I will add it!)
Lucifer
invites you into his study whenever he gets a new record. he prefers listening to it with you in his arms. also, he'll play the piano for you if you ask him.
will praise you for minor or major accomplishments. even if you don't think something deserves praise he gives it to you anyways. he's so proud of his human. 
wakes you up gently by rubbing your back or your shoulder. sometimes if you've stayed up late studying or working he peppers your face with gentle kisses (he will drag you out of bed lovingly if he needs to)
Mammon
will hype you up and be your partner in crime. will indulge in creating chaos or doing something stupid with you. you have his full support and he'd do anything for you, even if it results in him getting strung up by Lucifer. he'll happily take the blame and punishments for you. 
will let you have control over the radio and heat/ac settings in his car. will let you put your feet up on the dashboard too. he bought a car charger for you in case you forget to bring yours and he'll order for you in the drive-thru (has what you want memorized, but still asks if you want something else) 
helps you with chores. does laundry with you and carries your laundry basket (cleans out the lint trap for you too) does the dishes with you, he washes while you dry or vice versa. moves furniture for you while you vacuum (let him woo you by showing off his strength) want to rearrange your room at 3 am? he'll help you. 
Levi
if you're into cosplay he'll make outfits for you. he'll make sure it fits perfectly and has some wiggle room for comfort.
will let you sit on his lap and help you get through hard levels or help you find new areas and items. will guide your hand with his while doing so and praise you. 
if you're anxious about something he'll try anything to ease some of your anxiety. he'll give your hand reassuring squeezes or talk you through a breathing exercise or simply listen to you talk about what's making you anxious. he'll look up more ways to deal with anxiety and practice them with you. 
Satan
texts you quotes from books or poems that remind him of you or when he wants to be romantic. he sometimes takes inspiration from romance novels when planning a date. also surprises you with flowers for no reason. 
will help you study or write an essay. teaches you how to color code, organize, find proper resources, and reassures you that you're doing a good job. he'll be patient and adapt his techniques to any learning style you prefer. 
will spend hours with you in a bookstore, and carry any books you want to buy. if you like to spend a decent amount of time in certain genre aisles, he'll grab books you can't reach or just be content standing near you while you look through the books. 
Asmo
want an outfit that didn't come in your size or was sold out? he'll somehow get it for you or make one for you. need some alterations done? say less. see something you like but you're low on funds? say less. 
have any pain, discomfort, or trouble relaxing? he's got heating pads, pain relievers, an aroma diffuser, bath salts, anything you can think of for pain relief or relaxation. he also gives really good massages. 
will help you with any insecurities you may have. reassuring words, compliments, and sticky notes on any mirrors to remind you that you're beautiful and are worthy of so much more than you think you deserve. will buy you products that help enhance your natural beauty. he'll also help you take care of yourself with little reminders or help you establish and keep up with a daily routine.
Beel
lets you wear his clothes if you're having one of those days where you just want to hide your body or just want to feel super comfy and smell like him.
he reminds you to eat every day. he understands if it's hard sometimes for you to eat at least 3 meals a day or eat when you're not feeling well. will ask if you'd like some of his food or if he can make you anything. will also let you steal food off his plate. 
will support you and keep you motivated if you want to work out. he'll get on the treadmill next to you or go for a walk with you. anything you want to do he'll do it with you. shares his water bottle with you if yours is empty. will make smoothies, protein shakes, or trail mix with you. he'll encourage body positivity, but won't cross any boundaries or make you uncomfortable. 
Belphie
gives you space and understands if you don't want to take a nap with him or cuddle. will offer to let you borrow one of his blankets or pillows to sleep with instead.
will comfort you if you have nightmares or trouble sleeping. don't feel secure after a nightmare? he'll hold you close or act like a weighted blanket for you. 
lets you kick him in your sleep and he'll adapt to any of your sleeping positions. want to sleep like a starfish with one leg up on the wall? that's fine, he'll make room for you and find a different way to cuddle.
✄ ——————————————————————
feel free to comment, reblog, shoot me a message, or an ask <3
please do not use my work as your own! 
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rigelmejo · 1 year
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Things you might want to know about duolingo (and lingodeer unless they ever actually updated) before relying on it as your main study tool:
These apps can work fine as study tools, but you still need to be doing the study time per day for your long term "how many years to get go X progress." So a good starting suggestion would be at least half an hour of a language similar to yours per day (ex: if you know english and learn spanish), and at least 1-2 hours a day of a language less similar to yours (ex: if you know english and learn korean)Korean.
Alternatively, cram these apps. Like 1-2 hours per day, or much more, and aim to do new material mandatory and review option. The next point is why cramming may be appealing to you:
For most languages Duolingo covers A1 material, maybe A2 material. And if youre extremely fortunate (Spanish learners) it may cover just enough to get you to the beginning of B1. If you don't know what this means: A1 and A2 are from a language test CEFR and basically mean "beginner" level classes in college, B1 and B2 mean "intermediate" level in college and you often are expected to have B2 level language skills to work/go to school in a language. So: duolingo only covers beginner stuff. That's 2 semesters of class material, if you're lucky and the duolingo course isn't too sparse. So if you spend more than 2 semesters worth of weeks on duolingo, it would've been faster to just take a class. And unlike a class, duolingo will not teach you how to write essays or speak in creative discussions with others or how to read/listen to long texts. So duolingo covers grammar and some vocabulary (usually 3000 words or less). So you'll want to go through duolingo FAST to make sure it's not taking longer than 2 school semesters, and you'll likely want to eventually be adding a half hour to 2 hours of additional outside study where you read/listen/write/speak. Some people prefer to do those after they finish duolingo for a basic foundation, and that's fine, just get through it quickly enough for it to be useful for you. Yes, that means 5-15 minutes of duolingo will cause such slow progress you'll likely want to do anything else to make progress faster (and it's fine to use something else instead). But if you DO want to use duolingo, then plan on a significant amount of time daily if you want to make progress that feels fairly timely.
Last time I checked out Lingodeer (2021), it had japanese and Chinese courses that also only covered beginner material, and also only had about 3000 vocabulary words. So for these languages, while lingodeer explains their grammar a bit better than duolingo, ultimately both apps have beginner material only. Plan to get through lingodeer faster than 2 semesters of school study if you want to see timely progress. For languages less like ones you know, again, plan to study 2x to 4x more than the .5-1 hour you'd spend per day on a language similar to ones you know.
Let's talk Beginner and Intermediate levels some more! Beginners (A1 and A2) are generally what you think of in high school classes, tourists - how are you, I want to buy X, I like to X, my family is X, I'm from x, I ran home, I don't want that. Intermediate (B1 onward) is when people start to read novels, watch shows, have simple conversations about many ideas (with less grammar mistakes and more in-depth as they move into B2). And Upper Intermediate (B2) is when people are writing sufficient essays, can read textbooks and follow lectures, communicate a bit about in depth ideas - so they can work/study in the language. Some people can push into doing B1 stuff when they're still A2, some people can push into doing B2 stuff when they're still B1, it depends on how tolerant the learner is of ambiguity and is willing to problem solve to communicate/understand when things get difficult and unknown. So, say you want to learn by reading novels or watching shows, or talking to people. You're going to want to get as close to Intermediate as possible asap, so you can start to study the way you prefer. This is why you'll want to push through duolingo or lingodeer asap! If you get through them faster, you'll have an A2 base which you can Squeeze by on starting to study by reading, watching, or chatting with people instead. But you won't have that A2 base until you're totally done with the course on the app. So make that course worth your time, and finish it relatively timely.
Alternatives? Are some options better than duolingo? Oh yes, for sure! But... if you truly WANT to use duolingo/lingodeer, I think you should. I think the apps work perfectly fine to cover Beginner level material and if you know how many hours you need to put into them, they'll work as well as anything else. But if you only put in 5-15 minutes a day, you'll make progress so slow you may not get to reading or speaking with people for years. That's true of these apps, and of any study method! Pick something (anything) that you will do that regularly gives you new challenging unknown stuff to learn in the language, do it .5 hours-4 hours a day (consult "time it takes to learn X language" and figure out the study hours you need for your given language to see progress in the time frame you want - it's going to be a minimum of .5 hours in similar language and up to 4x more than that in very different languages). And you'll make progress. (Ex: an English speaker can study Japanese 4x as long per day as they study French per day and both will progress at the same rate, OR they can study both for the same amount of time daily ans their japanese will progress 4x slower days wise. Which might be fine! It depends on your progress goals).
So, are there things that teach Better than duolingo, since you're going to have to study a decent chunk of time every day regardless? Yes! As you can see above, the goal is to get through Beginner level material asap, if your long term goal is to do more in the language than Beginner level things. Some materials will do this faster than duolingo. For example, duolingo has around 3000 words per course but NOT all of those words are common words and the Most Common Words will increase your overall comprehension of the language. So any textbooks/self study books apps courses which prioritize common words may teach faster. If you learn grammar better from explicit study (like me) then reading a grammar guide summary in 3 weeks (then referencing later as desired) may benefit your grammar comprehension more than 9 months of duolingo. Memrise user made courses, and anki user made courses, contain a plethora of content suited to different people. I made high N5-N3 (A1 to A2 so i made it to upper beginner/just enough to start pushing into reading to study instead) progress in a few months using some well made Japanese Memrise user-made decks. I got to HSK 4 (A2 or very low B1 which again was enough to push into reading and watching shows and chatting with people to learn) in a year using a mix match of Tuttle Hanzi books, Ben Whatley memrise decks, graded readers, and grammar guide summary sites - studying about 1-2 hours a day. I've still never finished a lingodeer or duolingo chinese or Japanese course and I'm already far beyond what they cover. French I did a lot of messy study plans trying to make somrthing stick and still could break into reading and chatting in 6 months, meanwhile I tried duolingo app for 1.5 years until realizing I'd never run into new content on there I'd moved past it (and it was so slow paced I procrastinated ever investing time in the app). Clozemaster also helped in some of those lol. Free audio courses online helped. My point is: with a little digging through web search, you can find a material that covers beginner grammar and vocabulary in a way most suited to your study style, often free, often something you can better focus 1-2 hours per day on doing and therefore Get Through Faster. And again: if duolingo/lingodeer IS the study material that most motivates you and you enjoy most, then make sure you're still putting in decent amounts of study time daily to see the progress in X years you are aiming for. Do not spend over 2 years in the beginner zone by accidently barely putting in any study time (15 minutes or less per day) or by hoping duolingo will get you into Intermediate because it probably wont. (if you're doing small study time per day on purpose then continue on).
All this applies to MOST apps you may use for language study by the way. Hello Chinese, Babbel, Memrise's official courses, Clozemaster if you only do 15 minutes a day. A MAJORITY of language learning apps only cover up to A2 material, some significantly less. Apps which do actually include B1 study material like Clozemaster or anki/memrise if you find certain user made courses, are still going to seem like you only need to use them 5-15 minutes a day. But your overall study time per day you will want longer than that (on the app or app-plus-other-study-content that regularly teaches new stuff) if you want to see timely progress.
Sometimes, a cheap 8 dollar book (or free from the library) book like Teach Yourself really is a bargain. That book covers around 2000 vocabulary, a chunk of it common, and basic grammar, preparing you as much as duolingo but in a few weeks or a couple months if you're a fast reader (and if you do the exercises or not). Assimil books similarly cover the beginner level well and quickly (if you study enough time per day - as with all these), Glossika (the old files I've used) cover a good foundation if you get through them within a year (you can take longer but then like duolingo progress starts to become slower than if you took a college class). LanguageTransfer and Coffee Break French and LanguagePod101 all cover decent beginner foundations if you supplement with additional vocab (perhaps from a common word list or anki or memrise or clozemaster or book etc), Ayan Academys videos with The Nature Method books cover a TON up to a B1 foundation if you can get through them in a timely manner. What I'm saying is: f you dig there are some GREAT very dense informational study materials for languages out there, and plenty of cheap and free ones work as well or better than paid stuff. And tend to be paced faster (well... duolingo and most apps simply try to target the "quick bite sized lessons" angle of people using phone apps in short bursts, making the pacing of course become a bit slower since it's in tiny pieces).
A note on pimsleur: they're decent, though they tend to cover LESS vocabulary than duolingo or glossika, so I highly recommend additional vocabulary study asap if using pimsleur or speed through the pimsleur course so you can move onto additional vocabulary.
So go on! Use duolingo or lingodeer or whatever app you like, or use something else! I just wanted to give new learners a heads up. A LOT of popular language learning apps primarily teach only Beginner level materials, you'll want to move into Intermediate level asap to read/watch stuff you like and talk/write about a variety of things on your mind. So if you use any particular app know it may cover only the Beginner stuff, and you'll want to study per day at a pace to get you through Beginner material stuff as fast as you want to.
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sinterblackwell · 3 years
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shakespeare, my beloved……….that i have yet to read.
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jillianallen14 · 3 years
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Spirk fanfic rec
Some amazing Spirk fanfic to bless your dash because I’m falling in love with this shit all over again (this is like the 10th time this has happened lol):
Entering Orbit:  Jim escapes to Iowa to avoid the media frenzy following the Narada incident, but a late-night miscommunication results in Spock turning up on his front porch; rated m; 30,957 words
Papers in the Roadside:  Non-Starfleet AU. Jim owns a small bar in Chicago, keeps on picking up strays and taking care of everyone no matter how hard it makes his own life. Spock is a journalist writing feature articles for the Chicago Tribune; he depicts the world with uncanny skill, but hides more than one personal drama and is possibly under surveillance from the Vulcan royal family. They meet by accident just before their lives start to spin out of control; rated e; 49,637 words
Take Refuge in What You Know:  AU - Kirk has moved into a apartment/house and wants to get to know his neighbors. He meets his neighbor Spock, a loner who suffers from extreme agoraphobia. Kirk thinks he's beautiful enigma; rated e; 120,334 words
Listen, this is not only my favorite Star Trek fic of all time, it’s also one of my favorite fanfics in general. It’s right up there with Text Talk and The Shoebox Project from the HP fandom, which if you’ve read, you know are incredible and frankly life-changing. And this fanfic changed my life. The description the author gives doesn’t do the beauty of this fic justice. I suffer from agoraphobia and Spock’s depiction as an agoraphobic man was probably the most well-researched, sympathetic, empathetic, caring, realistic portrayal of what it’s like to be agoraphobic that I’ve ever witnessed in fiction. It made me cry like a child because I had never felt so seen and understood. This writer is incredible, and this fic is incredible. I can’t recommend it enough. It’s an AU, which I’m usually pretty wary about, but it barely even feels like an AU. It just feels like Jim and Spock. The author’s understanding of both of their characters’ is perfect, like just a spot-on portrayal of who they are. This fic genuinely helped me accept who I am and helped me understand that I am capable of & deserving of love. If you don’t read any other Star Trek fics (and you def should read more Star Trek fics because they’re amazing), then let this one be the one you read. I dare you not to read it three times in a row like I did.
Observations:  First Officer Spock comments on life aboard the Enterprise and his service under Captain James T. Kirk; rated m; 500,000+ words.
So the author of this fic actually did a thing where they made this fic into two books (similar to what The Shoebox Project authors did many years ago in the HP fandom). They don’t get any money from people buying the books; the cost is just to go towards producing the books. This fic is the equivalent of two LARGE novels. We’re talking 600 pages & up. It’s a huge fic. Now, that being said, I read it in one day. ONE DAY. It’s that good. This is another one of my all-time favorite fics, though not quite as dear to my heart as the one I listed above. It’s focused on AOS, and tbh, I forget that what happens in this book isn’t actually canon. Like it’s so well-told, it just feels like it’s now part of the timeless story of Kirk & Spock. The “professional” Star Trek writers would never be brave enough to do what this author does with Kirk and Spock, though. This fic will make you angry, will make you laugh, will make you cry. It has such a good grasp on every single character. It also shows the love between the crew of the Enterprise, which is always a treat, and it’s beautifully done in this fic. It has a sorta-enemies-to-lovers arc between Spirk and an enemies-to-close-friends arc between Spock and McCoy that is beautifully done and fleshed out. This fic is definitely a journey to go through, and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s extremely slow burn, and you will want to slap both Kirk and Spock (and McCoy) upside the head at certain points lol. 
Of Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves:  The progression of a relationship, through Coffee Beans and Green Tea Leaves. Basically, it’s an AU where Kirk works at a coffee shop to pay his way through school, and Spock visits often. rated t; 16,429 words
Love, love, love, this fic. It’s cute, it’s in character. They have kind of a rocky start together, so it’s got a little bit of that Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy i-hated-you-but-now-i-love-you-marry-me vibes to it. I’m a sucker for that, if you haven’t figured that out by now lol. It’s really good, and a really enjoyable read. And it’s not too long, if you’re in the mood for something on the shorter end of things.
 Please Don’t Touch the Vulcans:  The "yes" is out of Jim's mouth before he can think about it. Jim is chipper about having time off for the holidays. He asks everyone if they want to spend time together but sadly, everyone ditches Jim over the holidays because they have plans. McCoy visits his daughter, Nyota visits her family, and everyone splits. Not knowing Spock has feelings for him, Jim doesn't even bother asking if he wants to spend time together figuring he has something to do. Something cute, romantic with the boys spending time with one another and confessions; rated m; 17,690 words
Super cute and has lots of Sarek, which idk about y’all, but I’m always a fan of. Sarek and Jim kind of get to know each other a bit, and it’s cute. Sarek knows about they’re in love before Spock & Kirk know lol. If I remember correctly, there’s also some appearances from everyone’s favorite: Old!Spock! You also get a little bit of jealous and protective Young!Spock. So you’re in for a real treat with this one. 
The Ren shat’var Trilogy:  A split-second decision changes Jim's life forever, as he enters into a bond with Spock in the face of certain torture. Enemies to the Federation emerge from unlikely places, and the command team must contend with unexpected threats, as well as challenges within their own intense relationship. In this three-part series, the Enterprise races across the galaxy to confront the unknown, and Jim and Spock discover the true significance of their unprecedented connection; rated e; 184,411 words
Textual Attraction:  Valentine’s Day does not bring up pleasant memories for Cadet Kirk. But the serendipitous switch-up of his cell phone with a particular Vulcan professor’s will make his day far more interesting –and romantic. Perhaps some new memories can be made! 15,900 words
SO GOOD. Just SO good
Spaceman:  Academy AU. Five times Spock realizes he's attracted to a barista at the academy spaceport, and one time he decides to do something about it. rated t; 3728 words
Short, sweet, funny. You’ll love it.
Subtext: Texting your Vulcan first officer in the middle of the night is never a good idea. Especially when you have an obsessive crush on said Vulcan.The holidays are approaching and Jim is left entirely Spockless aboard the Enterprise when his First takes shore leave on New Vulcan. After some midnight pining, Jim sends a text he instantly regrets. That is, until Spock responds and willingly continues their textual communications to an inevitable conclusion; rated t; 13,032 words
Cute, sweet, funny. It’s a texting fic. I think you’ve probably figured out I love those. This one makes me laugh so fucking hard. Like actually laugh-out-loud-omg-did-i-just-snort kind of funny. Spock is great in this one
All Spock Wants For Christmas:  While Jim is away on a delegation mission, he panics about what to give Spock for Christmas. With help from Bones and Uhura, and in between some spam texting with Spock, Jim realizes he already has the perfect gift. And all it needs is wrapping paper and a bow; rated t; 11,966 words
And here we have another cute, sweet, funny texting fic. Sue me lol
The Morning After:  Jim convinces Spock to take shore leave with him on Risa, hoping the time together will help re-solidify their bond of friendship after some recent tension. Meanwhile, Spock convinces himself he's on Risa for one reason and one reason only, to prevent his wayward captain from getting into trouble. After a passionately illogical night of Romulan Ale and chocolate infused liquor, everything changes when Jim wakes with something other than a hangover filling his head. Something he's sure neither he nor Spock can handle. Because if Jim knows anything for sure, it's that his messed up thoughts belong nowhere near Spock's clean, ordered mind; rated m; 50,381 words
HAHA. This fic fucking cracks me up. You’ve got drunk boys pining over each other & not realizing it. You’ve got accidental marriage. You’ve got bed sharing. It’s great, it’s cute, it’s funny. 
Take This Sinking Boat (And Point It Home):  In which Spock pines, Jim isn’t stupid (except he kind of is), and Christopher Pike has had enough of this bullshit; 6698 words
Pike is great in this one, and it’s super, super funny.
Extracurricular Activities:   Spock returns to the Academy from a tour of duty to find an intriguing cadet captures his attention; rated e; 15,433 words
Veritas: Basically, Kirk and Spock are on trial because the Federation thinks they are emotionally compromised by each other, which is putting the lives of their crew in danger. They have to convince a court they’re not actually in love with each other. They think the claims are bullshit. They think it will be easy to prove that they aren’t in love or emotionally compromised, damn it. It isn’t; rated m; 186,80 words
This one is so, so good. A real gem off of Fanfic.net. I remember it was actually one of the first Spirk fanfics I ever read, and it blew me away. The progression of their relationship is really well-done and interesting. It has star-crossed lovers vibes and has some really emotionally intense moments in it, especially for Spock. 
A Habitual Affection:  Living in 1930s New York with the Vulcan you're secretly in love with is no simple thing. But Jim never liked anything simple. And then, the big snowstorm hit...; rated t; 7998 words
A beautiful TOS fic about one of the gayest episodes of Star Trek. Love this one. 
Atlas:  Between what was and what will be stands James Tiberius Kirk, in all his fractured patchwork glory. Because saving the Federation was only the beginning; rated t; 135,529 words
A beaut. Really great characterization, and the progression of Jim and Spock’s relationship is really well-done.
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leatherbookmarking · 2 years
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wow it seems someone already outbitched* me in terms of being picky about the mdzs translation, and
* i am saying this with appreciation
oh dear. well that doesn’t look good... especially the part about 你叫谁 because i feel like thanks to cql’s change it’s Really a popular/meaningful scene, so the translator getting it wrong is like... not only a basic language mistake, but also hello? this is mdzs by mxtx, have you heard of it?
the reddit thread the reviewer linked also gives some examples that just make me wince with how stiff they sound. i saw lwj commenting “...” before and it rendered me speechless commenting “...” too, tbh.
the reddit thread also has people making excuses, saying that ‘translating is hard’ (yes. i guess we just gotta stop translating then?) and “they did their best” (i don’t want to even think about their not-best then) as well as my favourite “it was there in the novel, the translator can’t just change it”.
buddy? the translator is there to TRANSLATE.
to make the text understandable in target language, not to brainlessly shovel the text like snow from point A to point B. if you find a joke or a pun that works in chinese but doesn’t work in english, then what? do you die? do you leave it in chinese with a fucking footnote? no, you make something up! you move the joke to a place where it would work, or you try to construct a similar joke/pun in your target language!
the same goes for the general look and convenience of reading! are these people for real?! you can leave your lan wangji: “...” when you’re doing a quick translation online for your fellow fans to understand roughly what’s going on, but it’s a physically published book for Twenty Fucking US Dollars! “translator can’t just add things as they please”, holy fucking shit.
jesus.
lan wangji remained silent/said nothing, anyone? no? pity
anyway, uh. i thought i’ll manage if it’s just awkward phrasing, but it seems it’s awkward phrasing and basic mistakes that seriously make you wonder a/ if the translator knew what she was translating, or was that her first encounter with the text, and b/ if the translated text really saw any kind of editing.
that, and the character guides in the back just sort of... make me wonder about buying the next volumes lol;;; there’s no way the text will be checked again/fixed, unless a huge amount of fans rally for it, and it seems the majority of fans is just happy to have the novels, which. the bar is low
also, i was thinking about how to give a comprehensive/convenient pronunciation guide and not offend the diaspora, and... qr codes, maybe? the book i bought a while ago had qr codes on some pages, and if you scanned them, you’d get a link to a page with more information/photos on a particular topic. i think it would be a good solution
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heshoes · 2 years
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Uni Daze
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She was his best friend and they shared everything together already anyway. What difference would it make if it were a hat, shampoo, or the same bed sometimes? So what? That's what the Uni Daze were about, having fun, traditions, getting serious, new relationships, friendships, heart ache, break-ups, make ups, secrets, the occasional/casual bajingo here and there, and possibly, just maybe, finding the love of your life and hoping that it all works out.
Warnings: Slow burn, smut, angst, mentions of abortion, mentions of verbal abuse
Pairing: Harry Styles x OFC ( face claim Zendaya)
Uni Daze Masterlist
Chapter 4 (word count 11.2k)
Harry
Usually a busy day keeps me grounded and out of any possible trouble that Michelle could help get me into, but today was different. It seems like whenever there was something toolook forward to, the day seems to drag and the minute and second hands on the clock move at a non existent pace. Any other day I would almost dread going to work the front desk in the first year halls though I know it had to be done. Today, however, I looked at it as four hours that I could use to talk to Rion.
There was a two hour gap in my time frame today due to a professor sending out a bullshit email telling us the reasons as to why his class was cancelled. He was one of the youngest professors at the university with a track record of hanging out with his student's. But what he did behind the closed doors with Lumen, the girl who lived down the hall from Michelle and I was none of my business.
After I'd taken the spare time to shower, change clothes, and read a chapter and a half ahead in my anatomy text I found myself antsy and ready to go to work, much to Michelle's amusement.
"Just sit down. You have twenty minutes left yet. Did you not have some kind of I'm an important person meeting that you could have went to? Or any equations that you could crack in hopes to surpass both Galileo and Einstein combined? Over achiever."
"Michelle, your grade mark average has been higher than mine since birth and I'm older than you."
“True. But I just don't put as much effort into it as you do."
"That's what makes it all the more annoying. No, I don't have any meetings lined up for senior class. You could be a part of it you know. All you have to do is come to a meeting."
"I'll pass on that. Thanks."
"It looks good on job applications."
"And so does First Class Honors at an Ivy League Uni." Michelle spoke, paying little attention to me as she smiled down at her phone. Ten minutes had passed before I stood from the couch, drawing Michelle's attention again. She smirked at me while shaking her head.
"I'm gonna walk. It's a nice night out, plus if I work a little earlier I get paid more and that doesn't hurt."
"No, I'm sure it doesn't. Especially if you're not really in it for the money in the first place, Hershey. Ask her out today, yeah?"
"I just enjoy talking to her. I don't want to ask her out. It's too soon. It's cliche."
"Says the man who was turned down once and then gave up completely. You don't have to date her Harrow, but stop lying to yourself. It gets you nowhere fast. Ask her to the party."
****
The walk to the first year halls was quicker than I expected. I wasn't sure if it was due to the distraction of the scenery change or my pace, but a fifteen minute stroll was cut down to one that only took ten. When I walked into the double doors I saw her again, seated at the front desk with her eyes focused on the pages of her book taking in each word with a lazy grin on her face.
“Hi Rion. How are you?" I asked somewhat loud, causing her to jump. "Sorry didn't mean to scare you."
“No, it’s fine. I didn't see you walking up. I should pay better attention sitting here. Sometimes I just get so engrossed in the words that I forget what's going on around me. How are you this evening?"
I grinned at her before running a hand through my hair and taking the hair tie that I'd stolen from Michelle off of my wrist before pulling it halfway up.
"I'm alright, but I think I asked you a question first.” Rion looked down at her half way finished novel that she had barely scratched the surface of on Monday and then smiled up at me as I made my way around the desk, taking the seat next to hers.
"I'm doing quite well actually. I have no real complaints." Her face dropped.
"That face that you're making is telling me that the last thing that you said was a lie. Clearly."
"Well..."
"Go on. Say it." I grinned while pushing my chair back and resting my feet on the shelf of the desk in front of us.
"My flatmate."
"Yeah?"
"She had company last night.” Rion's voice lowered to a whisper and her cheeks twinged the lightest shade of pink.
"And?"
"And they were very...loud. I didn't get much sleep and every time I had time between classes and I went back to my dorm to take a nap I would always oversleep. I could swear I was late to almost every class today, but my professors were kind of understanding. They all cut me a break because I'm new." Rion rested her head in her hands before she began to shake it back and forth. "I mean I don't want to be that girl who switches dorm flats because their flatmate makes them uncomfortable. She's a really nice girl you know?"
"Uh-huh." I chuckled. I didn't mean to laugh at her misfortune and bad day, but she looked so distressed while explaining it all. No wonder she was rushing about today.
"But I can't risk being late to class, or miss classes because her and her girlfriend insist on having loud goes at each other. My parents had to pay so much for tuition here and I'm working at least three jobs to pay the loans I've taken out myself."
"Yeah that's-Wait what did you say?"
"I said I'm working three jobs to pay off loans and my parents for school and-"
"Wait, no. Sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off, but what did you say before that?"
"My flatmate and her girlfriend have loud goes at each other."
"Your flatmate is a girl?"
"Yes." Rion tilted her head, looking at me as if I'd lost it. When you live on campus, the dorms are usually co-ed, but the actual rooms aren't.
"And you said she had a girlfriend?" It wouldn't be her. It can't be.
"Yes she's a les-"
"Lesbian."
"Yeah. And it's not that, that makes me uncomfortable. I believe love is love no matter who you find it with. It's just that they were so loud and I think sex is a very private and sacred thing… And I mean it was so disrespectful because Alison knows that I have to be up so early for my first class on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday but she was— they were both...and then there was this buzzing sound. I think toys were involved."
I laughed out loud. I couldn't help it. The mix of the story, the situation, and the toys made it too good to be true. Rion pouted, but I could still see a trace of a smile on her lips.
“Sorry. It's not funny. You were just making a funny face. Did you say your flatmate's name was Alison?"
"Yeah. Do you know her?"
"No." It's really not a lie. I don't know her.
"Oh. She's a really sweet girl, but I need sleep."
"You do. Three jobs is a lot to juggle. It makes me feel like I'm not doing enough."
"You do though. You work, you have more classes than I do, and you're president of senior class. We both are tackling a lot…But, I can't help but feel like something is missing from the equation for the both of us. I just can't quite put my finger on it."
“Yeah, me either. Do you know Alison's girlfriend. Have you seen her?" I don't know why I'm hoping that there's a chance that this Alison is playing the same game that Michelle is or that it's a completely different girl.
"No. I'm sure that she said it at some point last night, but I put my earphones in to try and muffle the sound as much as possible." Rion sighed as she turned around to face the desk again, looking back down at her book.
"It kind of sounds like you need an escape." I say, hoping that she would turn back around to face me.
“It's only the start of the year. Usually I'd be fine, but I'm already tired. Cambridge comes with a price, but I'm more than willing to pay it. A get away sounds good."
"Well, there's this party on Saturday that practically the whole school contributes in. I've even seen some professors there, the younger ones at least."
"Really? At a school like this?"
"Rion, Cambridge may seem mysterious, with all of its prestige, low acceptance rates, and student's who attend with big brains, but it’s a university first. Parties exist here and because we're not supposed to be considered a school known for parties, they exist a little bit more than your regular university. We just keep it a secret. You should come."
"I'm not really that much of a partier. The last one I went to was after I finished all of my GCSE. I was talking to this boy that I liked and I'd never really drank that much, but I was with my friends and peer pressure and all... It just didn't end well."
"Let me guess. You threw up on him?"
"No... I— I can't! I can't tell you it was so embarrassing!" Rion laughed covering her mouth before she stood up to help a first year out. I swear its only Wednesday and more than a fourth of the first years who live in this building have already lost their keys. I'm sure that after the party on Saturday and the excessive drinking that's going to take place there's going to be a line outside the door for key replacements.
Chelle: I'm so bored so I'm gonna clean the apartment. Starting in the living space, then your room, then mine. Anything that might stick to my fingers if I touch it this time? 😜😷
To Chelle: Don't clean my room! It's already clean! And please don't tell me you touched anything in my bin?😨😳
Chelle: I haven't, but I assume the worst. And I may or may not have changed your name in my phone to Mr. Tissue. I will never let you live that down.
To Chelle: Call one of your bitches and leave my shit alone, pimp daddy. I'm buying a lock for my door.🔒
Chelle: 😼Bitches? What good will a lock do when I'll have the spare? 🔐👀
To Chelle: We'll discuss this when I get home. I’m Busy.  🗣DO NOT TOUCH MY SHIT!
"You alright?" Rion asked pulling me out of my text war with Mitchell.
"Oh, yeah. Just texting my flat mate."
"Mitch, right?"
"Yeah," I snickered, shaking my head while thinking about the well being of my things, "So are you going to tell me what happened when you were at this party years and years ago talking to the boy you liked?"
"Ugh, no I can't. I absolutely can't embarrass myself that much again. It would be like reliving it."
"I'll tell you one of mine. My most embarrassing, but you've got to tell me yours first.” Rion hid her head in her hands peeking out at me between her fingers and laughing.
"Fine. But please don't judge me. It was my first time being drunk. Promise?"
"I promise that I might not be able to not laugh and I won't judge you but tease you for it later."Rion squinted her eyes at me processing what I said before she turned around facing away from me in her swivel chair. I heard her take a deep breath before she started.
"I'd never been drunk before and we were at this party because everyone finished their GCSE. We weren't really old enough to drink-"
"No shit?"
"Don't interrupt," she laughed dragging out the words, "All of the toilets were taken in the house so I was waiting outside of this one when Flynn came up to talk to me-"
I laughed out loud for the third time today and the story wasn't even over. "His name was Flynn?"
"Yes. He was very cute! Let me finish!"
"Okay, soz."
"So we were talking and I was really drunk and I really had to go and....I peed! Don't laugh! You said you wouldn't judge me!” Laughing was an understatement. My stomach hurt and my eyes started to water.
"You pissed yourself?!"
"I didn't talk to anyone for a week, even my best friend for letting me get that drunk."
"Why didn't you go wee outside?"
"Well it's so easy for boys to do that isn't it? You can just whip it out, shake it off, and put it away. Girls have layers that they have to get through, and I'm a lady."
"A lady who wet herself."
"And what's your story?"
"And it appears that we're out of time."
"Oh no you don't!" She laughed wiping the corner of her eye and pouting, "You promised!"
"Alright I guess. I was out with one of my friends and his parents had just gotten divorced so he was living with his mum at the time. We'd went to a bar and I'd gotten so drunk that I forgot where I was-"
"That's it?"
"No, I wish it was but no. We went back to his place because my mum doesn't like me drinking and I didn't want to hear her nag. But when I got back to his place, I started stripping off."
"You didn't!"
"I did. I took off everything.... Everything. My friends mum was at work at the time but when she came home the next morning I was ass naked in her hallway sleeping on the floor...on my back...and it was morning...My friend had went in his room and closed the door. But, now every time I come home to visit him and his mum is there she winks at me and pinches my bum."
Rion was in tears the same way that I was a few minutes ago and I didn't even care that the story was embarrassing, because her laugh was as cute as she was. I looked at my phone to check the time and our shift would be over in five minutes. Any other day time would have dragged on, but it always seems when I'm here with her it goes by a little faster.
"I can't believe that." Rion spoke while wiping her eyes again.
"Well believe it, because it happens every time. Makes for a good story though." We both started to gather our things to leave but before we left the building, Rion tore a sheet of paper from her notebook and began to write on it.
"Here. Um, that's my number. I don't know about the party just yet because I have to check my work schedules and everything else, but I don't know. Just text me sometime before then?"
"Sure. I mean yeah of course I will.”
Rion grinned at me while biting her bottom lip before walking away and the walk home that usually took fifteen minutes now felt as if it only took five.
****
I closed the door behind me with an exhaled  breath and  a smile on my face before  inhaling the scent of pine and citrus. Michelle poked her head out into the hallway that led to the door where I stood before she stepped out of the kitchen fully wearing pink rubber gloves, a pair of my favorite Green Bay sweats, and a t-shirt that also happened to be mine.
“Honey, I'm home."
"Bitches?"
"Excuse me?" I looked at my best mate confused as she crossed her arms across her chest after removing the gloves from her hands,  tilting her head to the side as she spoke again.
"You said I have bitches, Styles. Apparently there's more to discuss."
I walked away from the door removing my work shirt and tossing it at Michelle. She tried to move out of the way and dodge the laundry that I'd threw at her but it still landed on her shoulder. She shrugged it off, causing it to land on the floor before shouting at me.
"I've just cleaned this entire apartment and you come in here making a mess! Pick it up and take it to you're room you quadruple nippled fuck."
"Girls don't mind my bonus nipples. It even sometimes becomes interesting foreplay, when I was having sex that is."
"Gross!"
I laugh and duck when she launches the shirt back to me causing it to land in in a pile on the kitchen floor. We both look at it and step over it before I grab two beers out of the refrigerator, one for myself and one for Chelle.When I try to hand her the beverage, she frowns at the twist off cap and then pouts at me causing me to scowl before I open it for her.
"You're so useless sometimes, Chelle."
"Says the man who doesn't clean, yet looks around at a spotless household that smells of cinnamon. I wonder who did that? Ah, it must have been the useless one. Now," Michelle spoke before clicking the neck of her beer with mine and then taking a sip, "What's this about my bitches?"
I chuckled as I took a gulp of my drink and headed for the living-room with Michelle close behind. We sat on the couch on on opposite ends of each other, relaxing after a long day as we usually do.
"Maybe not bitches in the plural sense. Maybe there's just one?"
Michelle stretched out on the couch putting her mitch-matched sock clad feet on my lap, drawing a displeased look from me but ignoring it entirely as she dramatically massaged her temples with her free hand.
"I can't deal with your game of clue today. The chemicals from the cleaning made my brain go fuzzy and I don't think the beer is helping. Just tell me what you think you know so I can tell you that you're wrong as usual."
I smiled at her, placing my half finished beer bottle on the table in front of us and then began massaging her calves causing her to close her eyes and hum in appreciation before taking another swig of her drink.
"Alison."
Michelle opened one of her eyes before quickly closing it again.
"What about her?"
"Was she a part of your plans B and C last night? Because something or someone tells me that she may have been." Michelle's eyes snapped open and she looked at me in shock. "It's okay if you like her. You can't help who you like."
"I don't like anyone," Michelle looked down briefly at her lap as she shrugged off my discovery. If I've learned anything about her from being her friend its that when she fails to make eye contact, she's lying. "Gianna stood me up last night and Alison was my backup plan. It's simple. I got what I wanted and left in the morning before she even woke up."
"Okay," I smirked at her before picking up my beer again, finishing what was left of it.
"I'm serious. I don't like anyone. I don't feel anything for anyone anymore. Senior year, up the ante, remember? I barely like you."
"Alright," I chuckled before pushing her legs off of me, returning to the kitchen to grab another drink.
"Harry!"
"I believe you, I believe you. You you're an emotionless drone," I spoke as I opened the refrigerator, "We need to go to the grocery store. This is getting ridiculous. We don't have anything in here besides beer, fizzy drinks, and water."
"There are plenty of noodle cups in the cabinet. We'll just tell people we're on an all liquid diet if we ever get visitors. We're not done talking about the other thing. Stop changing the subject. How did you even know I was at Alison's last night?"
I closed the door to the refrigerator with a smirk on my face walking past Michelle to go back into the living room. She followed behind me while lighting a candle that smells like oranges to keep the citrus scent going.
"Well? Come on Har. I don't want to have to chase you around the apartment all day for answers."
"Make me a noodle cup and bring me a bottle of water and I'll tell you."
"You were just in the kitchen!" Michelle speaks as she throws her lighter at me but does what I ask.
When she gets back, she hands me a fork and places the bottle of water on the table in front of me. I smile at her as a thank you before I speak.
"Rion."
"What?"
"Small world right? Or, small campus? Rion, is Alison's flatmate and she kind of, she heard you two last night. I mean, unless that wasn't you and there's another girl named Alison on campus? She said you guys kept her up because you both were too loud."
"There very well could be another Alison, Harry. It's not like there are only four lesbians that exist on earth. But Rion? The girl that you work with? The one that you have the hots in the pants for, Rion?"
"Yes and I don't just like her that way."
"Hm. Of course you do, you've only known her for three days..."
"What, hm? What do you have to say about her?"
"Oh, nothing except Alison calls her prudence. She says she's a real goody good and she's annoying."
"Thats sad," I say as I finish all that I was going to of my noodles leaving the rest for Michelle to eat. She takes the cup from my hands and takes a bite while looking at me to finish what I was going to say, "Rion says Alison's really nice and sweet."
“Well, I don't know. Rion may very well be Princess Peach. You know I don't do girly gossip. It gets on my last nerve. Alison just feels the need to talk to me when I'm there and its like shut the fuck up, girl. I didn't come over here to hear you talk, now get between my legs and-"
"Woah! Okay, and Mitchel is back. How are ya bro? I haven't really seen you in a few days."
"Fuck off Harry." Michelle laughs. "I hear the sordid details of you and the lads sexcapades all the time...well not you so much now, but you know what I was getting at."
"Yeah but, it's kind of different..."
"How?" Chelle quirked an eyebrow and turned her head looking to me for an answer that I'm not sure that I wanted to give her.
"Well, because... I um... and it's just that sometimes-"
"Wait! Harry you pervert! You get turned on by it don't you? It gives you a stiffy?"
"No!"
"Yes! Yes it does! You're turning all red!"
“No it doesn’t, Michelle!"
"Then what's your valid reason?"
I couldn't think of a lie fast enough and Michelle started to laugh, nasty snort and all. I took a pillow from the couch and threw it at her, making her fall backwards on the floor and stay there, using the pillow to her advantage as she lied down on the throw rug that covered the majority of the hardwood flooring in the living room. Our apartment was pretty nice considering that it was still school property, then again we did luck out putting in our bid in order to get into the newer buildings.
"Okay Hersh, I'll keep my dirty details to a minimum for the sake of your tight trousers. I can only imagine that, that gets uncomfortable. Anyway, did you ask prudence- sorry, Rion, to the party this weekend?"
"I did." I smile as I think about the neatly folded piece of paper in my pocket with her number written across it.
"What did she say?" Michelle looks up at me from her place on the floor.
"She said that she's not really that much of a party person." I smiled again a bit harder than I had before.
"So she's not going and she turned you down again? Maybe she is a prude. Don't worry about it Harry, there are plenty of other girls out here on campus just as smart, if not smarter than she is, prettier, and who will appreciate you for- What are you smiling about? Why are you so giddy from being turned down twice?"
I chuckled to myself while shaking my head and standing from my place on the couch, stretching before going towards my room.
"I didn't necessarily get turned down."
I could hear Michelle's footsteps close behind me as I walked into my room. She'd been in here. I can tell not only because of the clothes that she wore to clean that were mine, but because I could still faintly smell her perfume. Nothing was on the floor anymore and she even made my bed. I looked around the room and then back at her before I sat, grabbing one of the neatly placed pillows to put under my head, then lied back on it with my legs hanging over the edge of the mattress.
"Before you say anything, you'll be able to find your things. I just put everything where it’s supposed to normally go."
"I wasn't going to say anything besides thank you. I'm still buying a lock for my door, but thank you."
Michelle rolled her eyes. Something she calls a brainless trait. When she catches herself she covers her face in embarrassment before she continues to bother me, taking a seat  next to me on the bed. "So how is Rion's telling you that she's not a party girl, not necessarily turning you down?"
"She gave me her number. You know, for someone who doesn't like to hang out with girls you surely do a lot of girly gossip. You're so nosey, Jesus."
"Oh please, Harrow. You wanted to tell me just as bad if not worse than I wanted to know. Are you going to call her tonight?"
“No. That's too forward and desperate. I'll text her tomorrow or something."
"You're such a teenaged girl. You think about things too much instead of just doing them. Sometimes I wonder if you have a bajingo where your penis should be. If she gave you her number its because she wants a call.”
"Go fuck off somewhere else Mitchel! And by the way, those joggers and that shirt are mine. Thief."
Michelle stood from the bed with a smirk on her face before she took off my shirt and my sweats, folding them precisely before she put them in my washing basket. I kept my eyes on her face when she looked back at me and I swear that I tried to keep my eyes on her face the entire time, but I would be lying if I said that my eyes didn't roam over her  smooth skin when she wasn't looking at me. I closed my eyes quickly and turned my head away. Hearing her laugh was the only evidence that I had to let me know that she was still standing in my room.
"I didn't say take off my clothes right now. God, Chelle don't be so literal. Go dress yourself!"
"I have on underwear! And you took off your shirt when you came through the door. AND I've seen you walk around in your boxers plenty. Is there some sort of double standard because I'm a woman?”
"That's not the point! And yes there is! Please go put on trousers and a shirt?"
“Whatever, Harry. I'm going to bed. Clearly I'll have to sleep this way because it's hot as hell fire in my room. It's a shame that this is a new building but they still didn't bother to make sure that the ventilation was right before they stuck people in it. Good night and all that."
"Night." I looked towards Chelle and then looked away again as she began to walk out of my room, her nicely rounded bum bounced as she closed the door behind her.
****
Saturday came quickly. Too quickly for my liking, and I hadn't text Rion or called her at all. I didn't want to seem desperate, but perhaps waiting three days made it seem like I wasn't interested? I hadn't seen her at work for the past two days because she has two other jobs to juggle. I'd hoped that she could get off for today, however, even though I haven't said a word to her.
"Just call her. Stop being a chicken shit. The party is tonight, and I'm rooting for you, Styles." Michelle spoke as we walked down the aisles of Sainsbury Supermarket. We'd been here for nearly half an hour and had nothing in our cart except beer, noodle cups, frozen pizza's and a bottle of Goldschläger for tonight. Broke college students can afford alcohol when they can't afford anything else.
"Are we going to buy any real food, or is this about as good as it gets?" I asked, ignoring Michelle's comment.
"What? We've got plenty. Plus I think there are chicken nuggets in there and that's a delicacy for us. Don't avoid what I've said to you."
"I haven't avoided anything, and we would be able to get more than chicken nuggets and noodles if you would just call your parents."
Michelle hesitated before she looked back at me and then back down at her list. She doesn't call her parents much to ask for money if she can avoid it. Her mum isn't doing so well health wise and to the best of my knowledge she hasn't been for some years now. The doctors thought that she had leukemia, but apparently they've only just discovered that's not the case. I think it's what drives Michelle's dream to become a doctor. She's eager to find out what's going on with her mum so that she can be the one to cure it.
She glanced at her phone having an internal battle with herself on whether she should ring home or not. I felt bad for asking her and I normally wouldn't, but I'm running low on funds myself. I usually get a stipend every other week from my mum and paid every other Friday from my shitty job, but unfortunately I'm between pay checks and for some reason my mum is late.
Michelle decided against my idea putting her phone back in her pocket.
"We're in our last year of uni. What would it look like if we resorted to calling our parents to wire us food money? You call yours if you're so hungry."
"It would look like we're both working shit jobs barely making wage and paying to rent out the apartment that we have so that we can finish out this last year with a roof over our heads. I wouldn't ask you to usually, but is an emergency. I asked my parents last time. It's your turn."
“Well, we can just get rid of something then if we don't have enough." Michelle stopped the cart and began to sift through the contents inside it, moving over ten cups of noodles out of the way and the one bag of chicken nuggets that we had. When her hand landed on the alcohol, we both looked at each other and shook our heads no. "Fuck," Michelle groaned under her breath, "Fine I'll ask my parents tomorrow. Let’s just get this for now and get out of here."
When we left the grocery store, after loading all four of our bags into my car, Michelle got quiet while looking out the window. I still hadn't told her that Louis is planning on meeting up with me and the lads to drink before we go just to prove that he's not one of those people and usually, now days anyway, wherever Louis is Michelle is far away and vice versa. I figure that there's no better time to tell her rather than now while she's quiet, but at the same time I don't want to hurt her feelings. She seemed lost in thought, but there's still a smile on her face.
I cleared my throat causing her to look at me quizzically with an eyebrow raised.
"Um, so.."
"Yes?"
"About the party tonigh-"
"No you don't!" Michelle cut in not allowing me to finish what I was going to say as we pulled up to our apartment. "You're not cutting out of this. Gosh, Harry, I know that you want to be more serious and that this year and I'm sorry for not using the Ultimate Alarm the other day when you were in an alcoholic hibernation, but it's a Saturday. Can you not have fun on Saturdays?" Michelle frowned pouting a bit.
"I'm going to the party, if that's what that speech was pertaining to at all? I wasn't going to say that I'm not going."
"Oh. Well then by all means continue." She smiled this time, happy with herself because she didn't have to argue her case any further.
"Yeah, I um, I'm going to the party, but Louis wanted me and the lads to meet up with him before we go. Pre-gaming and all that." I spoke quickly hoping that she didn't mind or hear what I said for that matter. Her eyes stayed straight forward, looking outside the windshield before she replied.
"All of you?"
"Yeah. He kind of asked about it earlier this week when I saw him...But you know we'll hang out at the party and stuff."
She nodded her head. It was the only response she'd given as her eyes stayed on the boot of the car in front of us.
"Are you alright with it? I can always-"
"Don't worry about it, Harrow. You were his friends first after all, and we live with each other. I'm tired of seeing your ugly mug anyway." Michelle laughed while patting my cheek and I shoved her hand off of me. "Plus, we all know I have bitches that I need to tend to so it's fine."
She covers up how she truly feels with a joke and all of a sudden I feel guilty.
"You're sure?"
"Yeah it's fine. You're very much a pleaser, Harrow. Did you know that?"
"What are you talking about?" I asked as I parked the car and grabbed the groceries out of the back seat to go upstairs.
"You can't please everyone. In the end someone is going to have to be let down or hurt. That's the way of life. It's okay to be selfish sometimes, Harry. That's what I mean."
Michelle sighed as she walked ahead of me, using her keys to unlock the door to our flat. I put the groceries and my things down in the kitchen before I went for a wee, all the while trying to figure out where the hell that last bit of our conversation was coming from, but when I came out of the bathroom she was back to acting like her normal self.
"Since you're leaving me to fend for myself tonight," Michelle spoke holding up two double shot glasses filled to the brim with alcohol, "We didn't buy this for nothing." She spoke in reference to the Goldschläger that ate up the majority of our money and bit her bottom lip while smiling at me.
I winced, already feeling the burn of the liquid going down my throat, before looking at my watch.
"It's only five. No one is going to start drinking until at least nine. You're trying to kill me. I said sorry for agreeing to go with Louis and the lads. Why are you making me do this?"
"Harry, when we were first years we drank early all the time."
"And my liver paid for it."
"Oop, Harry what's that?"
I looked over my shoulder confused before I looked back over to Michelle.
"What's what?"
"Is that a bajingo between your legs where you penis should be?" Michelle started to laugh while pointing in that general area.
"Piss off Chelle!" I spoke before walking up to the table and grabbing the shot that she'd placed there for me. I held it up to eye level inspecting it first. There was something floating in the glass.
"It's actually gold," Michelle said seeing the confusion written clean across my face, "hence the name Goldschläger."
"So we can afford to drink gold flecks in alcohol, but we can't afford real food?"
"I'm going to call my parents tomorrow I said, Mr. Sensable. Now shut up and down it!"
I looked at Michelle shaking my head as we clinked glasses and turned the shot up to our lips. The burn of it made my eyes water and when I looked at Michelle, hers were doing the same. I picked up the bottle on the table and read it before Michelle took it from my hands, pouring us both another shot.
"This is forty-five percent alcohol."
"Yes. It's strong. So, so strong." She nodded as if she already knew.
"We'll be trashed if we keep drinking this. We probably wouldn't even make it to the party." I spoke before I walked over to the refrigerator to grab us beers, hoping that she would switch substances.
"No we won't. I won't let us miss it. But legend has it that this is supposed to get you drunk quickly. The gold flecks supposedly make microscopic cuts in your esophagus so the alcohol can get into your bloodstream faster. Cheers." Michelle handed me the shot glass again as if after hearing that I would want to drink it again.
"Michelle that's horrible. I don't want to-"
"Just take one more shot of it and then we'll just sip beer until you leave to go meet up with Louis and the rest of the lads."
Her eyes were pleading and I couldn't tell her no. We both flipped our heads back as he downed the shots and with in a peer pressured hour, ten shots and two beers later, there was a sloppy grin on my face and I my vision was doubled. Michelle however seemed fine.
"Your alcohol tolerance has lowered dramatically. It’s almost seven. What time were you going to go to Louis'?"
"In an hour."
"I'll drive you." She spoke as she sat against the couch taking out her phone and laughing at my facial expression.
"You had just as much to drink as I have. You can't drive."
"I can. I've got a buzz but that's all. You're trashed. I only had three shots. The other seven you took alone." I looked at her in shock. How could she have tricked me that way? I swear she was drinking too. Michelle laughed and I could already tell that she was recording me. "I'm putting this on instagram."
"Don't! I really hate you." I slurred while pointing at her, only causing her to laugh more.
"You need to loosen up, especially for your hot date tonight. There's no point in you being so uptight at the start of the quarter. I'll let you go back to your boring self when Monday comes around again." She pulled her phone away from me as I tried to take it from her. "You might want to check your phone by the way. It seems you have a message."
I looked down at the notification that showed on the screen, squinting my eyes to try and focus on what was there. When my eyes adjusted, I almost felt sober.
Rion: I was starting to think that maybe you'd forgotten about me. I checked my schedule and I'm actually free tonight. I don't know how long I'll stay, but I'll meet you there. Alison is going so I'll just be with her.
My eyes widened before I scrolled up to see what I supposedly said.
To Rion: Hiiiii, It's Harry. Sorry for being such a stupid arsehole and not texting you sooner, but would you still want to go to that party tonight?
"You texted Rion?"
"Yup."
"But I-I'm not...Fuck!"
"What? You like her right? I've done you a favor."
"Yeah, but—“
"No but's. You either like her or you don't and if you do and if she likes you, which she does, obviously, then you have the go ahead to call. She wanted you to call. She clearly likes you. She's excited and so are you. You're just nervous. You haven't been on a date in six months or maybe more? But, this should be like riding a bike, if you will. I've removed your kickstand, now all you have to do is pedal."
I looked at Michelle and shook my head before I went in my room to find something to wear for tonight, deciding on the usual skinny jeans and oversized shirt, leaving a few of the buttons in the front undone as I stumbled into the living room to wait for Michelle. She reappeared from her room shortly after I did wearing black leather looking tight pants and some sort of red cut off shirt along with her fake glasses and red lips. She looked beautiful and I could only think that she was doing so for Alison.
As much as Chelle would doubt it, I think the player may have taken an interest in one that's supposed to be a pawn in her dating game. All I can hope for is that Alison treats her right. She deserves someone who would.
"What's the point of wearing a shirt if it’s barely buttoned, Styles? And it's see through. I mean I guess kudos for buttoning the three buttons you did bother with correctly." It could be because I'm drunk, but I could have sworn that I saw her look me up and down...not necessarily in a friendship manner. I ignored her while grinning and standing from the couch before she grabbed the Goldschläger again pouring us both another shot. "One for the road?"
"I'll take it if you take it first you lying Judas. I'm already drunk enough as it is."
Michelle cringed before she threw her head back downing the shot, eyes watering again by how strong of a burn the cinnamon schnapps left behind. I did the same and then took another for the hell of it since I wouldn't be driving tonight. Michelle eyed me as I walked down the stairs and to her car as if I would fall.
"Stop watching me and walk yourself."
"Someone has to watch out for you. You're clumsy enough as it is, bambi. Adding alcohol to the mix is a disaster waiting to strike."
"Says the absolute asshole who got me drunk in the first place."
"Oh yeah...That's right." Michelle smiled victoriously before she spoke again, clearing her throat before hand, "Uh, so, since I'm taking you to Louis' place where does he stay? I know he must have moved from where we lived before..." Her face dropped slightly.
"With his bird about five blocks over... Sorr-"
"It's fine." Michelle started her car, looking through the windscreen straight ahead like she did earlier as she drove and listened to the directions I gave her, telling he where to turn.
When we pulled up in front of the house, Niall was outside on the porch with a beer in his hand, smoking a cigarette. No doubt because Hollie put him out of the house, not wanting anything to smell like stale smoke.
"Harry! Hi Mitch!" He waved to us as he stumbled over to the car clearly drunk himself and louder than usual. "You're staying too, Michelle?" She shook her head no while smiling half way at Niall as I got out of the car. "You should stay. This thing, whatever it is, between you and Lou is ridiculous. You guys were so close and it can get there again. Just get out of the car and-"
"I can't Ni, I have somewhere to be, myself." Michelle's eyes begged Niall to be more quiet but he didn't get the hint. He was going to speak again, but was cut off by Lou as he walked out onto his porch with Hollie close behind. He didn't notice that Michelle was with us until I moved to walk towards the house.
"Lads!"
I looked from Michelle to Louis then back to Michelle again and as I did I saw her eyes widen right before she cursed under her breath. Louis paused in his steps, and his eyebrows drew together slightly before he spoke.
"Michelle." He nodded at her as a greeting gesture making everything more awkward.
"Louis."
"Mitch can stay right?" In that moment everyone looked at Niall as he took another drunken, oblivious drag off of his cigarette and it appeared that everyone wanted to punch him in the face, including me.
"No actually I was just leaving. Enjoy your night boys. Be safe, Harrow. I'll see you later yeah?"
I nodded my head before she spoke a simple "good," and sped off as quickly as her car could take her. Louis took a deep breath, shaking his head before smiling at us and inviting us in for more booze. I honestly didn't think that I would drink anymore tonight, but after that I felt the need to.
Niall dropped his cigarette and stepped on it while shrugging his shoulders at me as we followed behind Louis into the house where everyone else sat.
“Read the room next time, yeah?” I spoke under my breath hoping that only Niall would hear me.
“What room? It’s stupid that they don’t talk anymore. For fucks sake he was going t’ marry—”
“I know, Niall. I know.” I interrupted Niall mid sentence and could not help but notice the hitch in my jaw, that became more sore than it had been in a while.
 We all spoke as we walked in the house and I put the topic behind me in order to proceed on with the rest of the night and  for the first time in a while I was happy that the liquor continued to flow. It  seemed to put me and everyone else around in the right mindset for one of the biggest parties of the year, but Louis still seemed somewhat flustered about seeing Michelle for the first time since they called things off. I know Michelle probably didn't feel the best either and I tried to text her to see if she was alright, but I got no response.
Chelle: Are you okay, Chelle? I'm so sorry about that. Didn't know that he would come outside.
Though I got no response to my text, I expected to see Michelle as soon as we got to The Barn. The title of the bar was fitting as it was out closer towards farmland and covered in red paint as it actually was previously a stable. It was crowded with everyone from students to professors indulging in what the night had to offer, but as I skimmed the crowd I began to get more anxious. We had been here for an hour. I was sure that by now that I would have run into her. Taking out my phone, I’d opted to give her a ring, but before I could unlock my screen my phone began to buzz in my hand.
"Hello?" I slurred on the line while closing my opposite ear with my finger so that I could hear whoever it was I was talking to.
"Harry?" The deafening music and noise in the background made it almost impossible to hear.
"No, this is Harry." hiccup “Who is this?"
"Harry, it's Rion can you hear me?"
I walked away from Niall, Darragh, and the rest of the lads as they prepared to make Niall do a keg stand; swaying as I went.
"Who is this?" I repeated trying to hear better, hoping that it was Michelle calling me back in response to the text I’d sent.
"Harry, it's Rion. Can you hear me now?"
"Rion?"
"Yes."
"Hi." I smiled as if she were in front of me, when in all actuality I was in the middle of the crowded street surrounded by a sea of strangers. A car honked at me just as I was about to cross back towards the party, causing me to step back so that I didn't get hit.
"Where are you?" She laughed into the phone causing me to smile again.
“Outside enjoying the weather. Are you here? At the party I mean."
"I am," when she spoke I could hear the smile in her voice, over the excessive chattering and music in the background. "Can you come to the doors near the front of the pub and meet me there?"
"Sure. Stay on the phone with me? You know, just until I find you." I slurred into the phone but Rion laughed again nonetheless.
"Of course...Is that you in the middle of the street? Please be careful if it is."
I looked around, confused as to how she could see me but I couldn't see her. I walked towards the pub again forcing my bleary eyes to focus until I spotted her, standing on a large rock that was just outside the door. When I reached her, I held out my hand to help her down. She took it and called me a gentleman before I said anything else.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" I asked as I looked down at her in her jean jacket and simple black dress that clung to her chest then flowed down to her feet.
"I guess. It's not that bad. Ten times better than the last party I went to already."
I laughed.
"You haven't drunk anything?"
"One mixed drink, but I didn't really finish it. Are you enjoying yourself?" She asked me as we began to walk to nowhere in particular.
"I am. A little bit more now, actually.” A slight blush came to Rion's cheeks before she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear and I cleared my throat to continue. "Where's your flatmate?"
"Alison? I'm not sure. She said she was going to meet up with a friend of hers. The same girl that she was with the last time no doubt."
My mind went to Michelle as I checked my phone again and still I had no messages from her.
"So, she left you here?"
"I haven't seen her in the last hour... She could have. But if she did, I have no real way home now. She was my ride. I knew I should have just driven on my own."
I didn't say anything more, but I had the feeling that Alison bailed. I might have an idea as to who with and where to as well.
"Well, are you ready to go?" We ended up closer to the street facing in the direction of the campus. "The night is oddly nice for the end of August and the sky isn't as cloudy as it could be. We might miss getting rained on if we leave now."
"Do you have your car?" She asked looking towards me as if it were a deal breaker.
“No, but I would walk back with you. The parties aren't really my thing anymore. I just came to catch up with some friends. It was nice to get out. We're only about a 15 minute walk away from campus."
Rion looked towards the pub and then back at me again before she smiled and answered me sweetly.
"I'd love to get out of here with you."
Rion and I began walking, but as soon as we got a little bit past the corner where the party was being held at she stopped, causing me to stop as well and look back at her with an eyebrow raised.
"Are you going to tell any of your friends that you're leaving?" She asks while holding her dress up just past her ankles so it doesn't touch the ground.
I grin at her, absolutely ecstatic that she's giving me the chance to walk her back to her dorm room. If those tossers want to know where I went they know how to call. I guess Mitch really did do me a favor and I might owe her one after this.
"Oh, um...No. They're having a good time. I'm sure they won't even notice that I left. It's okay. Besides, I'm getting kind of tired anyway. I could always just shoot them a message."
Rion nods her head in agreement before we begin to walk again. Bunching the material of her dress in one hand in hopes not to step on it, I couldn't help but chuckle as I looked at her.
"Its so long. I love this dress but it's a bit of a hassle to wear." Rion comments, already knowing the reason for my amusement. I gently grab her hand to stop her once more and this time she looks at me with as soft smile forming on her lips.
"Here, let me..." I trailed off, gently taking her hand that had the fabric of her dress, causing her to let it go. Our eyes met as I slowly went down on my knees in front of her. If I would have gone too fast I'm sure I would have lost my balance or worse. It's almost a wonder that I can form a coherent sentence. All that I can hope is that I don't completely reek of alcohol.
I take the hem of the dress and tie a knot in it that's hopefully loose enough to undo when she gets home if she wants, and high enough so that she doesn't have to worry about stepping on it or have it sweep on the ground to get torn or dirty; just above her ankles. I'm not going to lie, when I was down there I looked at her feet and what I could see of her legs. I won't say I have a foot fetish or anything weird like that, but if a girls toes looks like they can pick up an orange with ease and whip it at the back of your head, it's kind of a turn off for me.
Her feet were beautiful aside from a few cuts here and there on her the tops of them. She even had a plaster or two on one of them, but somehow she even made that okay because they matched the purple coloring of her nail polish.
I stood after I was finished, and by the look on her face I must have been down there for a reasonable amount of time to make a knot, at least I hope I was. When I was looking at her feet, I had to make it not so noticeable that that's what I was doing. I don't want her to think I'm some kind of a freak.
"Thank you," she exclaimed while smiling, "I don't know why I didn't think of that."
"Yeah I saw some other girl do it and thought it made sense."
Rion smiled at me again and as we walked next to each other, her hand grazed mine; once, twice, three times before I grabbed it in my own. I saw her look over at me through her peripheral vision. It was a quick glance but I saw it nonetheless. I also saw her bite her bottom lip to try to prevent her smile from getting any bigger than it already was.
I didn't want to bust her out and embarrass her, but I did want to tease her a little. I gently squeezed her hand while biting my bottom lip to stop my smile from spreading much like she did, causing her to laugh before I changed the subject.
"The sky is really clear tonight. I can see Orion's Belt. It really might not rain after all."
"My namesake." Rion smirked.
"Sorry, what?" I spoke noticing that the party sounds were fading farther and farther into the distance.
"My mum is really into Greek mythology and constellations, so my name and its spelling came from Orion himself." She pointed towards the sky and the huge constellation before she looked back at me, slipping her hand back into mine purposefully.
"Cool story. And I'm not being a sarcastic asshole or anything by the way. That makes your name original." hiccup "And I like it a lot. I think my mum named me Harold because it was the only male name that begins with H and that comes after G that she could think of. Her creativity stopped after she realized that she wanted to put her kids names in alphabetical order." Rion laughed and nudged my arm.
"Don't talk about your mum. I think she might have chosen the name because Harry fits you. I've always liked that name."
"Have you now?" I asked with a smirk on my face and an eyebrow raised.
"I have."
"It's because of Prince Harry isn't it? Be honest."
"No it's-"
"Tell the truth."
"He's just so cute. He's the dreamiest ginger I've ever seen besides Ed Sheeran. All due respect to his royalness." Rion spoke causing me to laugh and shake my head before she continued. "Then again, all of the Harry's I've had the pleasure of meeting were pretty fit." She said looking over at me and then back up at the velvety black night sky speckled with beautiful stars.
"How many of us have you met?"
"Well...Just one so far."
I looked over at her as we finally reached a street that had lamp posts and she let out a small chuckle that sounded as if she were clearing her throat. Her eyes caught the light that lined the streets making her irises seem to brighten even though her eye color was dark brown.
We'd finally reached campus just as the clouds started to roll in at two in the morning and from there, I followed Rion's lead back to her dorm. In my three full years at Cambridge, I'd never been to this one in particular, but apparently, Michelle has. I saw her car in the parking lot. Something told me that she would be here, seeking comfort for the blow she received earlier. The sooner that she realizes that fucking doesn’t fix what hurts her, the better off she'll be. Part of me wants to bang on the door as soon as we get to the room, but I decide against it. All I cab hope that she’ll talk to someone eventually. If that someone happens to be Alison, then I'll be happy for her, I guess.
"Thank you, Harry. For getting me home safe and asking me to come out. I had fun for the amount of time I was there for." Rion leaned against her door, smiling while looking up at me.
"It was no problem. Thank, you for, you know, coming." I could hear myself wanting to ramble before I closed my mouth.
“Good night, then." Rion spoke, still smiling and then pausing.
"Goodnight."
Rion turned to unlock her door and when she got it open I turned to leave, but before I could go I could feel her pull my hand. When I turned she had a pout on her face.
"You know, you're really horrible at picking up on signals."
Huh?
"I-"
"I waited so patiently as well."
"I'm-"
"Three days. You didn't text me or say anything for three days. I didn't know what to think. I still don't."
"You're-"
"Oh shut up, Harry."
Rion crossed her arms over her chest and out of shock I closed my mouth, not really sure what to say or do. Rion squinted her eyes at me before shaking her head and turning to go into her little dorm before I stopped her, pulling her to me before I kissed her deeply, pushing her against the wall a bit to show her how it should be done.After it was over Rion sighed in content with her eyes still closed before reopening them slowly. I grinned against her lips before speaking knowing that I’d won her over.
"I didn't know what to think either to be honest. It's been a while."
Rion grabbed me by the front of my shirt, bringing my lips back down to hers.She pulled away, kissing the corner of my mouth making a trail to my ear and then kissing me right beneath my earlobe. There was no tongue involved at all but it still had been the most action than I'd gotten in months and it was still enough to leave us both breathless at the end of her antics. 
"Do you know what to think now?” She pushed her door open, speaking before she closed the door behind herself with a cheeky smile.
I’m not sure how long I stood there with a goofy grin on my face after it was all said and done, but when I got to the stairs my drunken mind allowed my legs to work properly and carry me down while still having the memory replay in my head.
I'd only gotten through the doors of the exit of her dormitory before my brain went to my pants, thinking that I might be able to get a good wank before I fell asleep with Rion's lips pressed against my jaw as the mental muse. Just when I thought about flushing any possible tissues instead of putting them in my bin, my phone rang.
"Harry?" Rion whispered into the phone, sounding on the agitated side.
"Rion? What's wrong?"
"She's at it again." Rion exhaled into the phone before I heard the creaking of a door, sounding as if it were being shut.
"Who's at what?"
"Alison and her, friend."
I started to chuckle, thinking of all of the ways that I would tease Michelle tomorrow when I saw her. I know that she's been active, but damn. She's got to be insatiable. I pictured her and Alison, terribly sweaty, gasping for air-
"Harry?"
"Sorry, what did you say?" Rion's voice snapped me out of getting too carried away in inappropriate thought again. Thoughts that I shouldn't venture into about my best pal.
"I really want to be able to sleep without being disrupted. Do you mind if I come to yours? I'll sleep on the couch, the floor, a chair. Anything you wouldn't mind sparing really."
“No, of course I don't mind."
Oh god.
"Are you sure? Should you ask your flatmate first? I wouldn't want to intrude on you or him."
My mind was swimming with a thousand things. Minor details that had the potential to be major. Is my room clean? When is the last time that I had a girl in my room that wasn’t Michelle? Do we have water bottles that I can offer Rion when we get into my flat if she's thirsty? Why does Rion think that Mitch is a guy?
“No… I uh, I'm alone for the night, actually. My flatmate is staying somewhere else I think." In your roommates' room, disrupting you currently.
"Thank you so much." Rion breathed out, sounding somewhat relieved.
"Yeah no problem. I'll turn around now."
"Oh shit, did you get far? I'm so sorry."
"No it's fine. I just got down the street a bit." I spoke as I neared her building again.
I saw her walking out in the same clothes she was wearing before. When she got to me, she thanked me again before we took the surprisingly short walk towards my flat.
"You live in the new buildings? Fancy."
"Yeah, it's alright. For it being new, the ventilation sucks in Mitch's room, but that's the only complaint we have."
I unlocked the door and turned the knob saying a silent prayer as we walked in, but I'd forgotten that Michelle cleaned the whole place, including my room despite my protest for her not to.  It was the first time that I’d been happy that she didn’t listen to me.
"It's really nice, Harry. You were being modest." Rion spoke as she tiptoed through the apartment, stopping in the living-room and taking a seat for herself before removing her sandals. "Really clean for two lads."
"Oh, actually-"
"Sorry, Harry. I don't want to interrupt, but do you think I could use the restroom first? I'm bursting to go."
I laughed while running my hand through my hair. "Sure. It's just down the hall. We wouldn't want a repeat of your last party."
Rion turned red, covering her mouth in a laugh and speaking to me as she walked down the hall.
"I really still can't believe I told you that."
While she was gone, I grabbed extra blankets from the linen closet and laid out a t-shirt and a pair of shorts of mine for her to wear on my bed. I also grabbed a bottle of water and put it on my desk for her in case she was thirsty, thankful that I made Michelle put some of those noodle cups back in exchange for it. Before I made my bed on the couch, I went into Michelle's room to steal one of her pillows but I’d gotten distracted easily. On her bedside table was a picture of the both of us taken last year. We were both pretty out of it and you can clearly tell in the photo, but in the midst of all the insanity Michelle was still alert and smiling at me while I was laughing and pulling her shirtsleeve with my teeth.
When I heard Rion leaving the bathroom I quickly left from Michelle's room, placing the photograph back down where I got it from and closing her bedroom door behind me.
"You'll be in my room. I've laid you out some things to make you more comfortable."
"Awe, Harry. I can take the couch really. I don't want to kick you out of your bed."
"No you won't. Now, go to bed. Good night, but for real this time."
Rion eyed me as she nodded her head in agreement, a slight grin on her lips. 
“Yes for real this time.” She spoke before her bottom lip was drawn into her mouth. The liquor I consumed tonight made me do the same as I looked her up and down shamelessly, grinning as I did so.
I started to take a step backwards only to notice that Rion advanced forwards causing me to stop in my tracks. Our lips connected again more fervently than they had before, before I started to walk again leading Rion back into my bedroom.
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Surprise Rides
Nesta Archeron x Cassian - Motorcycle Oneshot
Cassian plans a surprise for Nesta
Tumblr media
Written for Nessian Month 2021 @illyrianet
Prompt: Motorcycle
Masterlist | Read on Ao3 | Art by @mehx1000
1802 words
*******
Nesta’s phone chimed again with a new notification. Rolling her eyes, she tried to get back to her book. She was sitting on her couch with an old romance novel and a glass of wine. It was her favorite way to relax after a long day—and today had been one hell of a long day. All she wanted was to immerse herself in her book for a few hours and go to sleep.
Her phone chimed again.
It seemed her boyfriend wasn’t going to let her have her relaxing night alone.
To be fair, he didn’t know how exhausting the day was. All she’d told him when he called earlier asking if she wanted to go out that night, was to say she was tired and that she’d see him tomorrow.
Another chime.
Sighing, Nesta placed her bookmark before closing the novel and reaching for her phone. There were a dozen notifications, all from Cassian. The first few texts were asking if she was sure she didn’t want to go out and then a few suggesting they could stay in while offering movie suggestions and take-out offers. Then there a few texts asking if she was alive because she wasn’t responding.
The next text came almost immediately after with the realization that she was probably busy with something and not to worry about texting back right away. An hour after that he tried calling and the voicemail was a string of "are you okay?", "I know you said today was long, do you need anything?", and "You're probably curled up with a book right now so I'll stop calling."
Nesta couldn’t help but smile at the messages. In another circumstance, she may have felt overwhelmed or smothered by the number of messages, but she knew Cassian only meant well. And usually, when she felt the need to be alone she gave him more of an explanation than she had today.
She was about to respond to his message when she was startled by a loud knock on her apartment door.
Tossing her phone down and moving the blanket off her legs, she grumbled at being interrupted as she walked over to her door. Without bothering to look in the peephole, she yanked the door open and stopped short.
Cassian was leaning against her doorframe, arms crossed over his chest, with a boyish grin spread over his face. He was wearing his usual: worn jeans, boots, black t-shirt stretched deliciously across his hard chest, and his worn leather jacket. His hair was pulled away from his face in a messy bun atop his head and he had the start of a five-o’clock shadow along his jawline.
“Hey Nes.” He grinned as she stood there open-mouthed. It wasn’t the presence of her boyfriend that left her speechless, it was his appearance. Because on top of his clothes, he was covered in leaves, twigs, and grass stains.
His smile turned almost sheepish as she took in his disheveled appearance, and he raised a hand to rub the back of his neck.
“Cassian,” She looked back at his face, and although he has the barest hint of a blush, he still looked very pleased with himself. “I...what...what happened to you?”
He smiled again and swooped down to kiss her before answering. Pulling back, he seemed even more pleased that it took her an extra second to open her eyes after his kiss.
“Guess what I did today.”
He seemed really excited, but Nesta was still trying to understand why he looked like he tumbled down a hill.
“Nothing stupid I hope.” She answered with a skeptically raised brow. She tried her best not to smile as he scoffed and shook his head at her mocking tone.
“Of course not! Who do you think I am?” He asked indignantly.
She rolled her eyes at him but stepped aside so he could come into her apartment. Closing the door behind him, she crossed her arms and made an exaggerated scan over his body.
“I think you’re someone who would do something stupid.”
He rolled his eyes but looked around to see her discarded blanket, book, and wine glass. Turning back to Nesta, he grinned. She knew he was pleased that he guessed her nightly activities correctly.
“I have a surprise for you.”
This time she looked at him surprised but asked, “What?"
"I have a surprise for you," Cassian repeated, stepping closer to her so he could wrap his hands around her and slip both his hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "You said you had a long day, so I wanted to surprise you with something that will hopefully make it better."
Nesta melted into his touch and smiled softly at the gesture. But when she went to wrap her arms around his neck, her hand snagged on a twig clinging to his collar and she looked at him skeptically.
"What is it?”
He walked towards her coat closet and started rummaging through it before pulling out the thing he was looking for.
“Ah, put this on. And I can’t tell you, Nes, or it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore.”
She just stared at the leather jacket he held out to her; the one she’d bought months ago when she was out with Cass. He insisted that if she was going to ride with him on his motorcycle, then she needed a good jacket to wear.
And they both wanted her to keep riding on his bike.
As long as she’d known Cassian, his bike had been a part of him. She was more surprised than anyone when she started dating the leather-wearing, motorcycle-riding, tattooed, man standing in front of her. But despite his outward appearance, he was the kindest, most sincere, and compassionate man she had ever dated.
And it only took one ride on the back of his bike, with the wind in her hair and the heat of him pressed against her as she hugged him from behind, to show her that she, too, loved the feeling of riding on a motorcycle.
His motorcycle.
During one of their rides up the coast, Cassian insisted that she needed a good leather jacket for their longer rides. When she tried this jacket on, the one he was still holding out to her, he had just stared at her unblinking and insisted she buy it. In his words, she looked “so fucking sexy in the leather” that as soon as they got home he asked her to wear nothing but the jacket and showed her exactly how much he loved it.
Accepting the fact that her relaxing night in wasn’t going to happen, and more than a little curious about what the surprise was, she grabbed the jacket and slipped it on. She didn’t miss the way his eyes lingered on her body as she zipped it up; the leather clinging to her curves. Ignoring his darkened eyes and the way he bit his lip, she rolled her eyes but smirked as she turned to grab her purse.
“Fine. Let’s go.” Nesta followed him out the door, making sure the lights were turned off and the door locked.
“You don’t need to sound too excited.”
She rolled her eyes but handed her purse to his outstretched hand as they got to his parked bike. Lifting the seat, he took out the spare helmet and handed it to her as he tucked her purse into the now-empty storage space.
“Maybe I’d be more excited if my boyfriend wasn’t taking me wherever it is that made him look like he just jumped into a pile of leaves.”
He laughed and expertly put his own helmet on. “Have a little faith in me, Nes.”
Nesta rolled her eyes again but smiled and climbed on the bike behind Cassian. He revved the engine and she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist, pulling herself as close to him as she could. She raised the visor on her helmet briefly to tell him, "You know I do."
She flipped her visor back down and leaned her head against his back as he quickly squeezed the hands she had around his waist. He kicked up the stand on the bike, pushed on the gas, and drove away.
***
Nesta could easily get lost in the feeling of riding. It felt like flying; it was fast, exhilarating, and she never felt safer than when she was with Cassian.
They rode for almost twenty minutes on the main road before he turned down a more secluded path, covered by a canopy of trees that made the stretch of road feel like their own personal tunnel. Cassian turned again, this time along an unpaved path and she held him tighter as he maneuvered over the uneven ground. Soon, he stopped at the edge of a clearing and Nesta lifted her face from his back to get a better look.
“So? What do you think?” He asked, sounding a little nervous as if she wouldn’t like it.
But how could she not like it? A large blanket was set up in the clearing with a picnic basket and pillows. And lights had been strung up along the branches, creating a glow around the space.
“Cass…” She swallowed the lump in her throat and lifted her helmet so she could press a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “It’s perfect, I love it.”
She felt him grin and she kissed him again.
He turned the motorcycle off and helped her climb off the back. Then he grabbed her hand and led her over to the blanket. She could see now that more blankets were laid out beside the pillows.
He let her look around and when her gaze fell on him again he was grinning at her surprised look.
“Told you I had a surprise for you.” He grinned, pleased with her reaction.
“I can’t believe you did all this.”
“I may have had a little help.” He admitted, “But they’re long gone now, you don’t have to worry about anyone interrupting us.” He winked and wiggled his eyebrows at her.
Nesta threw her head back and laughed. Cassian’s smirk widened into a large grin at the sound of it. He grabbed her hand and tugged her down onto the blanket landing on his back and pulling her on top of him.
She leaned up to kiss him as his hands held her waist.
“Thank you,” Nesta murmured against his lips moments later.
Cassian smiled and kicked off his shoes. She did the same and fell back against him, tucked into his side as they watched the lights twinkle above them.
As they laid there, content in each other’s company, Nesta realized she much preferred this over her book and wine. This time.
***
Taglist:
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emmanelson · 3 years
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Chapter 3: Feelings and First Times
A little prequel that takes place during 2.01-2.02 when Devi is dating both Ben and Paxton. The first time they have sex, it isn’t in a friends-with-benefits relationship. It’s bordering on the brink of something real, something special, at least in Paxton’s retrospect.
tw: rated M for sexual content 
In the days that followed Devi deciding to date both Ben and Paxton, their relationship moved at a quicker pace than expected. Paxton meant what he said by wanting to make the time they still had together count, even if it would only be for a couple more weeks. So when Devi is invited to the Hall-Yoshida household that Friday night with the implicit instruction to stay over, she tells her mom she is sleeping over at Eleanor’s and is maybe even a little too eager to get there, the walk feels more like a sprint. They had tried taking the next step a few times, and then realized they wanted to live long enough to actually see each other, so doing it at the Vishwakumar residence was out of the question.
She isn’t expecting much, a pizza, maybe some video games in the garage and then she’d retire to Rebecca’s room and try to raid her closet unsuccessfully. But what she arrived at was a whole other story.
She was greeted at the door with a long, slow kiss and Paxton’s lit up face as he ushered her inside.
“We’ve gone on enough dates for me to get that it means one on one, so tonight it’s just us.” He was biting the inside of his cheek.
“Do you have protection?”
“Yeah I-Why, do you?” Leave it to Devi to be the first one to bring up sex. She did say that Paxton brought out her mega-horny side after all, and never thought she would actually get this close to having sex before being moved halfway around the world.
“Yeah, I kind of panicked and asked Kamala to buy me some at the drug store and drop it off a block away so my mom didn’t catch on.” For talking a big game, Devi knew next to nothing about sex. She only knew what she saw in tv shows, read about in weird Wattpad-fanfiction-turned-best-selling-novels, and researched on the internet. She had tried watching porn once but she clicked play when her airpod was off and you couldn’t pay her to relive that experience and the horror of her mom asking what she was doing.
“I kinda asked my parents to take Becca out for the night. I wanna show you something.” Paxton lightly took her head as they walked up the staircase towards his bedroom. Not the garage, not the couch, his room.
“If this is going to be one of the last weekends we have together, I wanted it to be special and shit.” She had been in Paxton’s room before, but had never seen it so clean, and was that the smell of fresh sheets? Upon taking in Devi’s widened gaze, he quickly backtracked and shook his head vigorously. “Not that we have to fool around or do anything that you don’t want to.”
Devi was shaking her head and stifling a laugh for a whole other reason.
“I just wanted you to have something that was something out of the stupid chick-flicks that Becca makes me watch. Something that you can think about while you’re in India and I’m stuck here. I had to use these dumb environmentally friendly light bulbs that my mom buys because the last time we had real candles, there was an incident with Trent and the house almost burned down.”
He had lit candles, or at least light bulbs in the shape of candles, ushered his family out of the house and seemed rather hesitant about asking for sex. She couldn’t believe this was her life right now. Her relationship with Paxton had always been somewhat based on physical attraction. When they first talked and she asked him for sex, to when they started dating and moved onto beyond chaste kisses and lingering touches over clothes to long makeout sessions and bruised lips and body parts.
If anything it only made her want him more and she eagerly hooked her arms around his neck. “This is perfect. More than perfect actually, you didn’t have to go through all the trouble, but I’m glad you did.”
Normally Devi was the one rambling and Paxton was the one initiating things between them, it was kind of a rush to be on the other side of things for a change.
“I want my first time to be with you, here, just like this.” She whispered against his mouth, watching as his lips curved upwards into a wide smile.
He took his time kissing her, familiarizing himself with her body, teasing things out in her that she figured laid dormant. He was moving so slow that Devi was getting frustrated as they fell back onto his bed.  
“I know I’m the virgin here, but doesn’t it usually move a lot quicker than this?” She was trying to unbutton his jeans, lift up his shirt to feel his abs, anything to speed things up but Paxton simply continued pushing his tongue past her lips and making her head spin.
A hand snaked under her shirt and Devi immediately moved to cover her breasts, insecurity surfacing at the worst time.
“What’s wrong?”
“I know I have small boobs and I’m not like Zoe or Shira levels of hotness. So if this isn’t, you know up to par with the sex you usually have, I understand.”
Paxton only furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Did she really not know how he felt about her?
“Not only are you beautiful on the outside, but you’re gorgeous on the inside, something that they...are lacking.”
His words always made her flush, and this time was no exception. “I like your body. Now can I continue to appreciate it the way it deserves?” He chuckled under his breath and with one hand, grabbed both of hers and pinned them above her head. Her eyes widened in surprise and anticipation, she bit down on her bottom lip and if things weren’t already well on their way, he would have muttered something about wanting to do very dirty things to her. Repeatedly.  
“If this is the first time, and quite possibly the last time we have to do this, you better believe that I am going to be taking my time with you.” He caught her lower lip with his teeth, slowing his movements which only made a whine emit from deep in her throat.
Paxton’s free hand moved between her legs and brushed her core through her underwear. Without breaking eye contact he moved her panties aside and inserted one finger into her, and then another.
The sudden pressure made Devi suck in a breath, no amount of YA novels or research could have prepared her for what it would actually feel like. Her whole body lit up, as if she was covered in gasoline and Paxton had lit a match, starting a fire that only seemed to spread.
“So tight.” His breath came out ragged, his jeans tightening against him. Paxton thought that guys thought about sex more than girls, and he hadn’t heard anything to the contrary until he met Devi. She had stared at him one too many times past the point of charming and made remarks about wanting to “climb him like a jungle gym.” Mostly through text to Fabiola and Eleanor that he may have happened to stumble upon when he used her phone to play Candy Crush.
In the days that followed their kiss in the park, Paxton wanted to nail his next history while Devi made it increasingly difficult to concentrate with all the short skirts she would wear, and don’t forget about the constant sexual innuendos she would make that went over his head because they had to do with whatever subject they were learning about.  
“Is this okay?” He asked, his eyes searching hers for any hint of hesitation. One word, and he would gladly stall his movements. “Do you want me to stop?”
“No, just go faster. I want more of you. All of you.”
This night was all about making her comfortable, making sure she was getting the most out of this, that her needs were met. A selfish part of him hoped that if he made a lasting impression, she wouldn’t come back from India with a smarter, hotter, boyfriend or worse, fiance. His fears only made his grip on her tighten and tilt her chin up so she was forced to meet his eyes.
“Tell me, in words or else I’ll just assume and that’s a really shitty thing to do.” He spoke slowly, deliberately as her eyes fixated on his chest.
“I want you inside of me.”
Paxton breathed out a sigh of relief, or was Devi breathing out her own? He withdrew his hand and her body instantly shivered at the loss of contact. Within the time it took for him to shake off his jeans, Devi had regained control of her hands and grabbed a fistful of his T-shirt into her hands, yanking it over his head in record time.  
“Do you want me to touch you?”
“Shh, this is about making you feel good.” He mumbled into her hair, dragging his lips towards her ear as she ground her hips into his. He took a condom out of his jeans pocket and rolled it on before positioning himself in between her legs.
He pushed into her slowly, the movements stilling as Devi dug her nails into his back in retaliation. She grimaced at the feeling, her body was tightly wound up and only when Paxton began to move his body at a quicker pace, did hers relax in response.
They laid in bed after, Devi’s legs felt like the jello and even if she had to be home in a few hours, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to walk without falling or at least looking like a klutz. “Is that a picture of Gigi Hadid on your ceiling?”
Now it was Paxton’s turn to almost flush to an unseemly red color.
“I’ve had that up there forever, just forgot to take it down that’s all.”
“Do you look at it when you, you know?”
“I was just inside you Vishwakumar, I think we’re as intimate as two people can be. You can say the word masturbate.”
“Well, do you?” She pressed, ignoring the way nerves once more fluttered against her stomach. “Do you ever think of me, when you touch yourself?”
“If only you knew.” He murmured against her neck, not wanting to give away just how many nights he spent relieving himself to the memory of their first kiss, or more recently, to their makeout sessions that didn’t just leave her hot and bothered, but him as well. “That was your first time right?”
“Is it that obvious? Should I just have had the word virgin written across my forehead?”
“I think it’s cool that you waited or whatever. Did what was right for you.”
“Why? What was your first time like?” Devi didn’t want to pry, or ask something too personal, but she would be lying if she said she wasn’t curious.
“Um, I think I was 14.”
“14? As in like freshman year of high school?” That was one year younger than her current age, it made bile rise to her throat at the thought.
“Eighth grade. It was the summer before high school and the JV and Varsity swim teams invited us incoming freshmen to a party, to get to know each other and whatnot. It was chaperoned by this one guy’s sister, I think she was 21. Her name was Stacey or Stephanie, something with an S. She brought us all beer and acted cooler than any of our parents at the time.” Devi didn’t say anything, but silently nodded and urged him to continue.
“Anyway, one night like the first week of school, we all get wasted right? Some more than others I guess, because I woke up not remembering anything that happened or even how I got so intoxicated. I was mostly drinking Coke the entire night, with some rum here and there sure, but nothing too extreme. I passed out on the couch and when I woke up, she was on top of me, stroking my hair, touching me, and telling me to stay quiet so we didn’t wake anyone up.”
“I-Is that all?” Her eyes were wide, almost glassy, and Paxton instantly felt years older than her. Like she was too innocent to be hearing this and yet here he was, exposing her to it anyway. Exposing her to the harsh reality that he didn’t want her to know, yet she was already familiar with after what happened to her dad.
“She started whispering in my ear. Tell me how I seemed really mature for my age and how college boys are so rowdy and they didn’t listen to her like I did. I don’t even remember us having any kind of in-depth conversation.” His voice dropped to a low whisper. “She said that it wasn’t cool to go into high school as a virgin, especially if you were a guy. The other guys on the swim team would just turn it into some kind of contest to see who could get laid the fastest. She said I would have a leg up on all of them and be able to show off.”
A bitter chuckle passed through his lips. “Except, I didn’t feel superior or like a man or wanted, I just felt empty.”  
“Did you tell anyone?”
“Only Trent.”
Not wanting to sound rude, Devi bit her tongue and remained nonchalant. “Is Trent really the best person to be telling your secrets to?”
“He’s actually cool once you get to know him, okay? He told me that if I wanted to go to the cops and quote ‘make her a prison bitch’ unquote that he would back me up. He may act stoned 90% of the time, but he has a good heart. I trust him with my life.”
“Did um, did you ever see her again?” She asked patiently, as her fingers ran up and down the length of his torso.
“At that point, it didn’t matter. When I got back to school on Monday everyone had heard, turned me into the big man on campus and whatnot, whether I earned the title or not. I wish I had waited, you know? For my first time to be with someone that I really cared about.”
“It’s not your fault.”
“I know I’ve been with other girls before and you know, I’m some ladies man or shit. But that’s all it was you know, just sex. It’s isn’t like that with you.”
“Well if it makes you feel any better, this was better than what I had in mind. It was better than any rom-com or YA novel.”
“This doesn’t mean nothing okay? It would never mean nothing, not with you.”
Devi immediately wanted to correct his use of a double negative, but she refrained. She was speechless, too raw, first from the sex they just had and then hearing Paxton’s story. She was touched that he felt comfortable sharing such a private event with her.
“Would you have done things different? Your first time I mean.” She asked quietly, finding her voice again after letting all the information she had just heard sink in.
“Well I definitely would have waited to do it when I was sober.”
“Everyone deserves a second change, a do-over. And you aren’t drunk or high or impaired in any way right now are you?”
“No.”
“So take your do-over.” Sure she didn’t handle her own trauma in the best manner, but she was surprisingly insistent in helping others overcome their own turmoil. Plus with her big brown eyes, Paxton felt like he was saying no to Bambi.
“Dev-”
“I want you to feel good.” His own words hung in the air between them uttered by her soft voice, only a silent nod of his head and Devi had pressed her lips against his and rolled them over so she was now flush against his chest. “We can go as painfully slow as you want.”
“So now you aren’t in a rush to jump me?” The warmth in his features returned, he seemed to have a genuine smile on his face and was raising an eyebrow at her in slightly amusement.
“Something tells me this won’t be the last time, we’ll get there.”
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obvslybatgrl · 2 years
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Alright so Batgirls. *sigh*
I can’t remember if this was mentioned when they first announced Batgirls but this book is very clearly meant for a younger audience. I’d say 12-14 y/o girls is the demographic they’re trying to appeal to, maybe younger. And there’s nothing wrong with that. There definitely should be more content for that demographic and this is a great book for that demographic. The issue is that existing fans of the Batgirls, especially the most passionate ones, are not a part of that demographic. And that makes the creative decisions they made very frustrating.
The Batgirls (especially Cass (and probably Babs. i don’t read much of her. Steph is in the same boat as Tim to me)) constantly fall victim to de-aging in main canon and to have Cass and Steph now be written as 13/14 years old (the writers certainly didn’t “misspeak” in that interview. they are clearly written and even drawn to be that young) which is younger than Damian is in main canon, is just insulting to both their fans and these characters. Cass’ fans in particular have been voicing their concerns about Cass not being taken seriously and what de-aging her means to her character for years. Batgirls doing this to Cass on top of what Birds of Prey did to her, on top of what Young Justice did to her, is just sad and doesn’t allow for anyone who hasn’t read a lot of Cass content (specifically her Batgirl run) to understand who she is.
I think what writers and publishers and all those people who decide what kids want to see, fail to understand is that kids are fully capable of understanding stories with older protagonists and serious themes, and that stories with older protagonists can be silly and lighthearted. So instead they choose between having a fun story with a child protagonist for a younger audience or a serious story with an adult protagonist for adults. This disconnect from child, young adult and existing audiences obviously leads to backlash from that existing audience because the characters they’ve invested themselves in, characters who already rarely get any solo content, end up drastically changed by the decision to cater to a younger audience. (I’ve noticed that DC has struggled with this for many Batman related books. Many of them struggle to decide if the demographic they’re trying to appeal to is teens or adults but that’s a whole other thing.) I recognize that young heroes are important for young demographics so that they can see people like them going through the same struggles as them and whatnot, but these where the wrong characters to use because they all should be adults by now. If DC wants to use Batman characters to get a young audience to read their comics, Gotham Academy would have been a great team to bring back! Hell, make Maps a Robin! She would be a great character for this audience to grow up with. At the very least Batgirls should not be in the main canon and instead be treated like the YA graphic novels DC has been doing.
Now that that’s out of the way I’ll move on to positive things.
I liked Batgirls #1. I often gravitate towards works for audiences younger than I and so far this is a great book for that audience. It’s fun and the visuals stand out against what we’ve been seeing in most ongoing comics. I love the art. The only thing is I’m not sure if one of the girls is narrating in the purple text blocks or if there is an actual narrator. I’ll have to read it again. I just had a really good time reading this issue and it’s filled a hole that Lumberjanes left last year. I plan on continuing my original plan of buying each issue until the first arc is done and then buying TPBs because I still want to support Cass and Steph content. Voting with my feet and whatnot. I probably wouldn’t recommend this book to Cass and Steph (and Babs tbh) fans unless they share a similar mindset to what I have reading this. I would recommend this to people who just want to read a fun book though.
But yeah. Writers should read preexisting characters’ books. Reading comics shouldn’t lead to me writing 1000 words about one issue.
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badapricot · 3 years
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Lovely Writer: Count 26, 27, & 28
These are the chapter summaries for Count 26, 27, & 28 which should be included in episode 10 and/or episode 11 of Lovely Writer. Keep in mind that the show is very different and they often cut, change, and move things around.
Count 26
Gene is sleeping in the car while Nubsib drives them home from their parent’s house. It’s raining outside.
Nubsib wakes up Gene because he said he wanted to buy snacks, and they go to Maxvalu.
They go back to the condo and Gene immediately plants himself in front of the TV with the snacks.
Nubsib pushes him to shower so Gene does very quickly before going back to the TV.
Nubsib showers with the door open and Gene watches TV. He sees a promo for Bad Engineer and remembers that the show is being aired soon, so he gets a clip on his phone and posts it on IG. Nubsib comes out when Gene is filming and asks Gene why he didn’t dry his hair well. Gene says it will dry on its own.
People in the comments on the clip point out that they can hear Nubsib saying Gene’s name.
Nubsib dries Gene’s hair.
They keep watching shows and Gene asks Nubsib if it’s awkward to watch his acting and Nubsib says that he has to make sure he’s performing well for his boyfriend, so it’s fine. He wants it so that Gene isn’t able to take his eyes off of him. Gene is surprised when he remembers that he’s the boyfriend.
The next day Gene goes to meet Hin at the cake shop near Nubsib’s university. He’s started basically living at Nubsib’s condo full time.
Hin tells him that Bua wants him to write a special NC chapter for his book.
Hin asks him if he’s going to a book event with Nubsib and Gene says that if he goes with him everyone will want his autograph. Hin asks him why he’s getting jealous of Nubsib like that.
Gene posts a picture of his cake online and forgets to text Nubsib back while he’s eating with Hin. When he puts his hand up to wave for the cheque, Nubsib grabs it. He was able to recognize where Gene was from his IG post and he walked over from the university.
Gene tells Nubsib to eat with him then and Nubsib says he won’t eat cake unless Gene feeds him. Gene says fine, it doesn’t matter since he paid anyway.
When they get home, Nubsib showers while Gene tries to find inspiration to write his NC chapter. He thinks getting the hardest thing (the sex scenes) out of the way first will make it easier.
Gene watches some anime but decides he wants something different and ends up reading a dark BL novel.
“‘Inside the twitching did not stop.’ Do you like r*pe roleplaying?”
“Shit!” I was so startled, my hands closed the book suddenly when the embarrassing conversation in it was read out.
Nubsib sat beside me, the corner of his mouth smiling. “Do you like this?”
“Like...like this?”
“This.” His fingers gently grabbed my wrist, as if deliberately teasing me. “Is my Gene a masochist?”
“No! I’m just reading and using the information for my writing.”
“A sex scene again?”
I felt a little embarrassed. “Well...you can see.”
Because I always sit and read scenes like this only, Nubsib knows that I have trouble with sex scenes.
“Can I help you?”
Again...we’re in a familiar situation.
I instantly shook my head. “No need, this time I don’t want any realism.”
Gene keeps reading and then retires to bed.
When he does, Nubsib abruptly kisses him and pulls him onto his lap. Gene asks Nubsib what he’s doing and Nubsib says he’s helping him write. 
Nubsib pushes Gene’s shirt up and tells him to hold his shirt up in his mouth. When Gene bites down on his shirt, Nubsib kisses his chest and asks Gene if he likes it, which Gene denies.
Nubsib asks Gene, “Do you like the novel you read earlier? Do you want me to tie you up like that?”
Nubsib holds Gene to him and fingers him before they start having sex. Nubsib eventually asks Gene to start moving himself, if it doesn’t hurt, and Gene starts shyly riding Nubsib.
Nubsib suddenly starts moving and puts Gene on his back. Gene says, “Nubsib...hold me,” and Nubsib holds Gene’s wrists over his head, and holds him. It’s embarrassing and Gene can’t even understand all the hoarse words Nubsib is saying in his ear, but he holds onto him.
While they’re coming down from their orgasm, Nubsib tells Gene, “Let’s take a shower later. One more round.”
Nubsib presses their foreheads together and Gene can’t say no. 
Count 27 (Nubsib POV)
Nubsib thinks back on the sex and how he accidentally made Gene cry. He actually wants Gene to cry more, to feel more, but he has to stop himself from instinctively doing anything violent.
Nubsib sees a red mark on Gene’s neck and touches it. He thinks that if Gene can’t let people know that the mark is his, then he’ll hold it all the time. Or hide it and Gene away, so they’re not seen by anyone.
The phone rings and Gene gently urges Nubsib to pick it up because he’s sleepy.
It’s Tum and he can tell he interrupted them because of Nubsib’s mood, so he quickly tells Nubsib the details about his summer photoshoot. Nubsib tells Tum that he wants to reserve another plane ticket and Tum figures that it’s for Gene and agrees.
When Nubsib hangs up, Gene asks him when he’s going. Nubsib tells Gene that he’s going on the trip too.
Gene says Nubsib has work though, and Nubsib says he isn’t working day and night. They can be together. Gene begrudgingly agrees but says he’s “too lazy to go out” even though Nubsib can see his eyes are shining and he’s very excited.
Gene tries to go swim when they arrive, but Nubsib tells him to wait until there’s more shade. Gene says he has sunscreen but Nubsib tells Gene that he finishes at five, and they can swim then. Gene grumbles but he’s obedient.
Because everyone knows who Nubsib is, Nubsib booked them two rooms and Gene moved his stuff in first. Nubsib will move his in later. They’ll share one room, while Tum takes the others. Nubsib thinks the whole ruse is really annoying.
Tum says he knows he was only invited as a cover for Gene (because they’re friends) but he’s thankful that Nubsib’s letting him stay in a luxury resort room for free. Nubsib tells him that if he’s really thankful he should carry Gene’s luggage.
Nubsib goes to his photoshoot while Tum takes care of Gene. Gene sends Nubsib pictures of a coconut and a crab and other random things he finds, and Nubsib is so happy that a homebody like Gene is so excited to be out.
When Nubsib arrives back, Gene asks if they can swim now and Nubsib says yes. Gene is very excited.
They go to the private beach at the hotel and it’s fine because the place is so luxurious it’s mostly populated by foreigners who don’t know Nubsib.
Nubsib stops Gene from going into the water in exchange for applying sunscreen to Gene’s arms, shoulders, and legs, which makes Gene shy. Nubsib tells Gene not to play in the sun for too long and tells him he’ll wait for him right there.
Gene plays for so long that Nubsib is sure he’ll sleep but he showers and they go out to a market.
Gene sees a tourist attraction for snorkeling and asks Nubsib if he wants to go, if he’s not busy, and Nubsib asks Gene why he’d want to do it alone.
Gene says Nubsib is working, so he thought he’d be too tired, and Nubsib says he’s used to fucking Gene and then waking up and going to university after. Gene tells Nubsib that if he keeps talking like that, he’ll stab him.
They go back to the hotel and lie in bed. Gene asks Nubsib to take a picture for his parents in the LINE group chat.
Gene tells Nubsib not to make a face that’s too handsome. He’s sick of Nubsib being complimented by his mother.
They take silly selfies together.
Count 28
Gene is home and looking through pictures of their trip. It’s been years since he travelled.
He’s thinking about picking up Nubsib from school to get cake to celebrate finishing his recent manuscript, when he gets a call from Tum. He’s concerned because Tum doesn’t video call him but only calls, and sounds really urgent.
He goes to meet Tum at the TV station and Nubsib is already sitting in the boss’s office.
He shows them pictures of Nubsib and Gene on their beach trip—they were seen in the night market. He goes on to show them Facebook posts and tweets with thousands of likes. Because of the SibGene pictures, people are shipping them a lot, and it’s bad for the series because they want them to ship SibAey.
Gene feels bad for causing trouble for the fans and for the network.
Gene sees some negative comments about how people are going to stop following Nubsib and that they now hate him because Nubsib is selfish, and didn’t think of the fan’s feelings, and those comments make him feel the worst.
Nubsib holds Gene’s hand and assures him that it’s not his fault which makes Gene feel worse.
The head of the TV station tells Nubsib that him and Gene need to stop interacting, stop going out, stop liking and commenting on each other’s social media etc. and Nubsib says it’s impossible to be separated from his boyfriend and his contract didn’t specify that.
The head tells him that it was implied because everyone knows that being a BL actor necessitates selling fanservice. Nubsib says that they can go ahead and rip up his contract then, because he never intended to act at all, or in another series after this. He only went to the casting for Gene. 
Nubsib is angry but calm and he shocks everyone. Tum and the boss remind Nubsib that he has ten months left on his contract and if he leaves now he’ll have to pay a penalty. Nubsib says he knows and he’s prepared to pay.
Gene can’t take it. He cuts off Nubsib and tells the boss that he’ll stay away from Nubsib until the end of his contract, and he won’t stop by him if Tum isn’t there.
The boss is pleased and says he’s glad Gene understands. He says the next day that Nubsib needs to come by the studio for a small press conference where he’ll amend the news about him dating Gene.
They leave, leaving Nubsib and Gene to talk alone.
Nubsib tells Gene that they’re forcing them to break up and he won’t have it.
“You’re a star so it has to be like this.”
I didn’t want to cause problems for Nubsib’s work.
I felt extremely bad, thinking about Nubsib agreeing to pay the penalty to cancel his contract.
“We have to be like this?” Nubsib, who had been quiet for so long, repeated my words. “Maybe other actors can secretly date their boyfriends while they let the Internet ship them with someone else, but I can’t do that.”
“...”
“You can say that I’m selfish. But I only accepted the job to act in this series because of you. If it causes us problems like this, then I don’t want to continue this work.”
“I didn’t...” I shook my head.
The words were stuck in my throat, and I was unable to speak.
“So what are you going to do?”
“As I said. After the series ends, I’ll break my contract.”
“No!” I immediately interrupted. His eyebrows furrowed tightly together. “You’ve worked for your own savings, and haven’t asked your parents for work all this time. There’s no need to stop because of me. Another thing...if you rip up the contract you’ll need to pay a penalty. And not a thousand baht, but a couple hundred thousand baht.”
“And you’re fine with our relationship being like that? Not letting anyone know that I’m dating you? Making others think that I’m not in a relationship with you?”
“...”
When I didn’t answer the question, Nubsib shook his head while staring at me. “You’re being like this again. If anyone has a problem and tells you to do something, you follow because you care about them. Why don’t you do that for me? Why don’t you miss me?”
“I just don’t want you to waste your money and lose work!”
“You still don’t understand? Even after the series ends, there’s still nothing in my contract that specifies I can’t have a boyfriend. Pictures can be posted online at anytime. The Internet isn’t that easily quieted.”
“...”
“The only way for them to be satisfied is if we really break up.”
“...”
I froze.
Break up...
Everything I was thinking up until that point became blocked by that work in my mind.
I didn’t know what conclusion we’d come to when we started talking. Nubsib and I disagreed. There were several solutions to the problem. But I didn’t think for a second that breaking up was a solution.
“You want to...break up?” My voice is so low, I can barely hear myself.
“...”
Gene wants to faint at Nubsib’s suggestion.
He goes upstairs and showers and then gets into bed. He hears Nubsib come in and stand over him, but he doesn’t speak. Gene pretends to be asleep.
Gene thinks that he doesn’t want to break up with Nubsib but he’s the older one so he needs to be responsible. He can’t cause trouble for Nubsib like this.
Gene comes out and Nubsib is sitting in the living room. Nubsib tells Gene that he was being selfish and immature earlier and Gene is relieved.
Nubsib tells Gene that if he wants him to listen to the boss, then he’ll do it for Gene. He goes on to tell Gene that since the fans know they live together, it’s probably best for Gene to go back to live in his condo for now.
Gene feels terrible.
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antiloreolympus · 3 years
Text
10 Anti LO Asks
1. Just a few basic definitions of deconstruction in literature" "Deconstruction is an approach to understanding the relationship between text and meaning." and "Deconstruction is defined as a way of analyzing literature that assumes that text cannot have a fixed meaning. An example of deconstruction is reading a novel twice, 20 years apart, and seeing how it has a different meaning each time." LO meets neither of these requirements, since it does not follow the original myth to begin with.
2. rachel truly has the biggest brain to not only make lesbians be the oppressors to the rich, heterosexual couple, she even made the lesbians oppress themselves. real 5D chess move there.
3. have you seen the lore Olympus au where they find out they’re actually trapped in smythes fan fiction and have to fight to reclaim their true selves/personalities because. Ther was a scene in it where real!apollo finally transforms into himself and saves LO!persephone from real!minotaur??? On god it was incredible
4. deadass its wild how like everyone and their moms (literally) can just stroll into hades' house all willy nilly? like at MOST i would be able to buy hermes and hecate being able to get in, but literally like?? no named flower nymphs can just stroll in? leto?? youd think the rich king with 7+ dogs would be able to like, invest in a lock at least.
5. What I wanna know is why smythe didn’t just use pan. Could be creepily older than her, historically known for at LEAST being sexually voracious (though I can’t say whether or not he was predatory) with a sadistic streak, a tie to nature that could make him obsessed with her, the fact that he could LITERALLY die at the end for a satisfying punishment? Girl Apollo was so nonsensical. If she’s gonna pick a random god to slander it may as well be one that makes sense
6. Still angry about Leto made into a SUN GOD that gaslights her kids. In the myth, Apollo & Artemis weren't known for wrath but one time they did team up to kill innocent mortals because a mortal woman shamed Leto for only having 2 kids (when fertility was highly praised). This story alone showed how gods are capable of horrible things because they don't put mortals on the same pedestal as their own.
If RS wanted to make Apollo a villain, at least make it like this story, where he's doing this out of love. Making Leto (a loving mother who's loved by her children) an abusive & manipulative parent served no purpose and instead just made Apollo's villainous arc clumsy because he didn't really CHOOSE to do any of it.
7. Rachel claiming LO is in the "monster boyfriend" genre is not only wrong, it's just insulting to actual monster fuckers. She could maybe argue it's a monster girlfriend comic, since hades gets off sexually to persephone turning into a giant and murdering people, but him?? how dare you. unless she means being a slave owner capitalist dictator is a monster, in which case maybe dont romanticize that kind of monster you white devil 💀
8. It's funny to see Smythe so against PJO given the fact that her and Riordan both regularly screw up their representation.
9. Tbh, I do not give a F * C K about his infertility. It doesn’t have to be shoved in the story and get the fans thinking Persephone will fix that because she’s a fertility goddess! I know I may sound rude but for Hades to lose his ability to give baby juice JUST TO BE KING??? Not a risk. What should’ve been his risk was knowing he would be alone in the underworld, just like it was addressed in his flashback of being eaten by Kronos. I have a ton of things I would like to say on Kronos as well but for now, I do not have any knowledge on Kronos in the original myth. 
10. tbh the fact lo hades wants kids yet shows zero actual empathy or patience screams he'd be a horrible father. for many of zeus' faults in myth, zeus fiercely loved his children and would do so much for them, especially his daughters. i know myth hades didnt have children but he seemed that he could be a strict but loving dad, but lo hades? nah, he seems too focused on himself and his wants to ever really give that up. Any kid he'd have would likely see their nannies more as parents than him.
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atlafan · 4 years
Text
The Real Him - One Shot
a/n: I’m not sure where this came from...a lot of this is sort of how I feel about writing, and reading, and how my brain works???? Hope you enjoy cause it’s fun! Book Writer!Harry x Y/N (not proofread) 
Words: 9.6K
Warnings: Fluff, wee bit of angst, and smut
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Books weren’t things Y/N found interesting. She hated reading the assigned books in high school for whatever English classes she had to take. She often would just read what she needed on Sparknotes, and that was enough. Then, in college, even if she wanted to read for leisure, she didn’t have the time. She had to read articles and academic journals constantly. By the time she was done for the day, the last thing she wanted to do was read.
Now, as a young adult living in the city, she noticed her anxiety was always worse at night. She lived alone in a little studio apartment, it had a wonderful view. She would watch TV or scroll on her phone until she fell asleep, but the screens were too much for her eyes. She knew it wasn’t good for her. Much to her friends’ shock, she texted them asking them for book recommendations. Y/N didn’t want to think too hard, she didn’t like scary stories, but she also liked a little bit of world building and romance. Fuck, if there was anything she loved, it was a good romance. Her friends told her about this young author they discovered whose stories were enthralling.
She took their word for it, and ordered one of his books off his website. He was self-published, which she found to be interesting. How good could he be if a major publication didn’t want him? She trusted her friends’ opinions though, so she went with it. He had this series called, The Unicorn in the Farmer’s Pool, that they raved about. She told herself she’d start with the first one and see how it goes. Sometimes Y/N had a hard time concentrating to even read a book, so she didn’t want to buy too many.
The title of the book itself was odd, but when she read the description she understood. Apparently, it was about this young woman, new to town, who was going for a walk with her younger sister, and one day they come across this beautiful old home and large farm. There was a pool in the back with one of those big unicorn floats, which they both found odd. They see the farmer outside, and the woman inquires about it. He explains that it’s his daughter’s. He and his wife were divorced, and she moved out to the city. Unfortunately, she passed away, so his little girl came home to live with him.
It was a certified slow burn, so when it came in the mail, Y/N couldn’t wait to get her hands on it. There was only one picture of the author, Harry Styles, on his website. The book, however, had a lovely picture of him on it. He even named his publication company after himself, trademarking HES Books. He was handsome, there was no denying that.
“Alright, let’s see how well this guy knows how to write thing from the perspective of a woman.” She says as she settles into her bed with the book.
For the first time in a long time, Y/N found a book that she just couldn’t put down. Sure, she passed out with it on her chest, but she’d get right back to it the next night. She was ripping through it. Her heart would race anytime the farmer and the woman had a scene together. She cried when he spoke about his divorce, and how he never slept knowing his daughter was so far away. He’d never wish his ex-wife ill, but he felt like it was fate to have his daughter home. He’d give her anything she wanted, even a giant unicorn float for the pool. Something she couldn’t have in the city. His daughter would paint his nails glittery colors, and he didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought of it. Y/N could feel her heart pounding as the woman slowly fell for him. They became fast friends but it was clear they wanted more, but they were both so scared.
“Oh, you son of a bitch.” She says to herself when she gets to the end of the book, it was a cliffhanger. They hadn’t even gotten together yet. They were caught in a rain storm, about to kiss, but they were interrupted. “Goddammit.” She groans and grabs her laptop to buy the rest of the series. “Welp, Mr. Styles, you now own my ass, I hope you’re happy.” She sticks her tongue out at his picture on his website.
By the time she finished the third book, she was inconsolable. It thrilling, but she knew it couldn’t be the end for the two who were now so in love with each other. She also couldn’t believe how well written their love scenes were, a little shocked there was a small dash of smut. She looked on his website and saw he was set to release the fourth and final book of the series soon, and there would be a big release for it. He would do a reading and signing. Y/N texted her friends and they all agreed they needed to go. They still couldn’t believe how much Y/N liked the series. It consumed her soul, she couldn’t get enough. She even bought his other standalone novels to read until the release.
Eliza: hey! HES just released the first book on audio, and he narrates it! Should hold us over until the release ;)  
Y/N: holy fucking shit! Literally about to go download it, thanks!!!
Now this was a way to fall asleep, she thought. She plugged her earbuds into her phone, turned her light off, and hit play. She gasps the second she hears his voice.
“He’s British?!” She says to herself. “Dear god.”
His voice was deep and sultry, and sounded incredibly crisp through the audio. Each night for the rest of that week, she fell asleep to the sound of Harry’s voice; it was euphoric. She felt sort of weird for becoming as big of a fan of him that she was. It was like she was in high school again having a crush on some unattainable celebrity. She couldn’t even talk about him to anyone at work. It was like this big secret between her and her friends. Instead of listening to music in her office, she started listening to interviews or podcasts he was involved in. Anything to just get a better understanding for who he was or how his mind worked. She found that he was incredibly private, only tweeting or posting on Instagram from promotional purposes. A PR person most likely running the sites for him.
“Okay, I think I’m obsessed with him, like, it’s bad.” She tells her friends at brunch one Saturday morning. They would all try their best to get together a couple times a month.
“Welcome to the dark side.” Eliza says.
“I knew if we didn’t push you that you’d come around at some point to ask us for a book rec.” Melinda says.
“You could have just showed me his picture, he’s so handsome! I can’t wait to go to the signing. I wonder what type of suit he’ll wear. Maybe all black?”
“I heard he’s into florals lately.” Eliza says. “I’m glad we got our tickets when we did, it’s going to be packed.”
“Yeah, like, at least we’ll have seats for the reading.” Melinda says.
“I can’t believe we’re going to hear his voice in person. That audio book? Oh my god.” She pretends to fan herself. “I’ve been enjoying his other novels too. He has such a way with words, I can’t remember the last time I actually enjoyed a book this much. Maybe The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants?” She chuckles.
“Didn’t you read that in high school?!” Eliza laughs.
“Yeah!” Y/N laughs, and Melinda joins in. “I fucking hate reading. I wonder if he’ll ever sell the rights and have it turned into a movie or TV series.”
“People have been begging him. He said maybe once the fourth book has been out for a bit. He didn’t want to feel pressured, like, you know how with Game of Thrones the books didn’t come out fast enough for the series?” Melinda says.
“Oh yeah, that makes sense. I think a TV show would be good. Then they could take their time with it. The only thing is I can’t picture someone playing the farmer other than him.” Y/N sighs.
“Agreed.” Eliza says. “I can really only see him.”
“So, how are we dressing for the signing? I don’t wanna look desperate by dressing up too much.” Melinda says.
“Melinda…” Y/N starts chuckling. “You have a girlfriend.”
“I’m aware.” She swats a hand at Y/N. “But damn, Harry is too fine.”
//
Y/N curls the ends of her hair on the day of the signing. It was finally here, and she couldn’t be more excited. She found a cute yellow top to wear with some high waist jeans. She does some simple makeup, but makes sure to have her eyes pop. The rules were that people could only bring one book with them, so she grabs the first in the Unicorn series. She fully intended to buy the new book as well, and they said he would sign all new purchases too.
She meets Melinda and Eliza outside the bookstore where it would all be happening. They get in line to buy their new books, and head to their seats. They were able to snag tickets for the second row. He would be reading the first few chapters of the first book, and then would spend the rest of the time signing books.
“I’m so excited.” Y/N whispers to both of her friends.
A man comes out shortly to check the crowd of people waiting, and soon it’s announced that Harry would be coming out. Everyone stands up and claps for him. He was wearing a sleek black suit, and his hair was pushed back off his face. He looked bashful as he smiled out to everyone, and stood at the podium provided. Everyone sits back down as he clears his throat.
“Thank you all so much for being here. Whether you’re a new fan or if you’ve been with me for years, I appreciate your support. It feels surreal for this series to be over. I’ve loved these characters so much, and when I finished the final edits, it felt weird saying goodbye. I also want to say thanks for all the support with the first audio book. I fully intend to do one for the rest, it just takes a lot of time and editing, so hold tight for me, alright?” The crowd giggles, and his dimple grows deeper. He takes a sip of the water provided, and opens the book. “Let’s get started shall we?” He looks up at the audience who was waiting patiently. He makes eye contact with Y/N. It’s brief, but he looked at her…or at least she told herself he did.
His voice was just as smooth in person as it was on the audio. Y/N was swooning, barely paying attention to the words, but more so watching the way his lips moved. The way he’d lick his lips after getting a sip of water, and watching his Adam’s apple bob up and down. It all felt like a dream. He ended up reading five chapters instead of three, as a treat, until his manager came out to remind him to wrap it up.
“Right, well, I’ve been told I’m done speaking.” He chuckles. “I just need about ten minutes and I’ll be able to sign all your books. Thanks so much!”
He leaves as everyone claps for him again. Everyone gets in line and waits for him to return. There was a table waiting for him to sit at and a ton of markers.
“I wonder how long we’ll get with him. Like, a minute, right?” Eliza asks.
“Make every second count.” Y/N says.
“I’m gonna try to take a selfie.” Melinda says. “Then I’ll really remember it forever.”
As the girls got closer to the front of the line, Y/N felt herself getting nervous, and her palms were starting to sweat. She tries to wipe them on her jeans before she gets to him.
“Hello, love.” He smiles at her. “Whatcha bring f’me?”
“Huh?” She was so taken aback.
“Well, I know you didn’t come here to have me sign a body part…unless you did.” He shrugs. “Although, I don’t think my manager would appreciate that.” He winks at her and it makes her giggle.
“I have the first back, and the newest one.” She hands them both to him. “I have to say, I’m not really a big reader, but this really drew me in. I think I’ve fallen in love with reading for the first time in my life.”
“That’s like…I mean…wow, what a compliment, thanks.” He signs both of the books. “What’s your name?”
“Y/N.”
“Y/N.” He repeats as he continues to leave a nice note in both of her books. “You know pictures aren’t allowed, but if you turn around and happen to take a selfie they can’t stop you.” He points to the few guards.
Y/N turns around and takes a selfie with Harry. She turns back around and chuckles as she takes her books back.
“Thank you so much. I can’t wait for the next audio books.”
“You liked the first one?”
“Loved it.”
“So, it wasn’t weird listening to me for that long?”
“Not at all…” She starts blushing. “Your voice is sort of, um, soothing…I have a lot of anxiety at night, and, well, reading, and evening listening has helped me sleep a lot better. So, thanks again.” She smiles at him and he smiles back.
He wished he could hug her. He looks back at his manager, who just sighs at him and nods. Harry stands up from the table and walks around. Before she knew it, his arms were being wrapped around her. She got a whiff of his cologne, and she swore it was her new favorite smell in the world. She barely got a chance to put her hands on him before his manager said it was enough and Harry needed to get back to it.
“Sorry, that was just so endearing.” He lets go of her and sits back down. “Thanks for your support.”
Y/N steps aside and looks at her friends who were waiting for her to finish up. She looks back at Harry who was already talking to the next person. She sighs, knowing she was long forgotten already.
“Oh my god, I took a picture of him hugging you.” Eliza says. “What was it like? All he did was shake my hand.”
“He smelled so good.” Y/N whines. “Girls, let’s go out for drinks tonight. I need to get some energy out.”
“Great idea! We can drink and then dance the night away.” Melinda says. “What did he write in your books?”
“I don’t wanna look yet, I wanna save it.” Y/N smiles and holds her books close to her.
//
After grabbing dinner and dropping their books off at Y/N’s place, they all head to their favorite dance bar. They all get their drinks and stand near the bar to drink them. Y/N was happily sucking on her straw, swaying along to the fast beat of the music.
“Look, they actually roped off the VIP section.” Eliza points out. Y/N and Melinda turn to look.
“I wonder who’s here. Once in a while someone cool shows up.” Melinda says.
The group in the VIP section erupts into laughter, and the girls’ eyes grow wide. Harry was standing up from the booth, looking much more casual. He still had his dress pants and button up on, but his sleeves were pushed up, revealing his tattoos. He strides up to the bar as he shakes his head back at his friends. He brushes right by the girls, bumping into Y/N, causing her to spill her drink.
“Oh shit, I’m sorry, love.” He says to her, and then he looks her up and down. “Do I know you?” He slurs slightly.
“Um…we…we met earlier today. You signed my books.”
“I signed your what?!” The music was really loud, he must have thought she said something else.
“Books, books!” She really enunciates the k sound.
“Oh!” He bursts out laughing, and puts a hand on her shoulder. “I was gonna say, that sorta thing isn’t really my style. What are you drinking, I’ll get you a new one.”
“Oh, you don’t have to do that. There’s still plenty in here.”
“Don’t be silly, I feel terrible. In fact,” He looks at Melinda and Eliza, and then to the bar tender. “Their next round’s on me. I also need another bottle of Patron for my table.”
“Coming right up!”
“Lost a bet with ‘em.” He rolls his eyes. “So the next bottle’s on me.” He shrugs.
“We’ll bring it over to you.” The bar tender says as she puts up three new drinks for you and your friends.
“You really didn’t have to do that.”
“S’the least I can do. Your support is the only reason why I can afford what I have. I should buy your drinks all night.” He smirks.
“Y/N.” Melinds grabs her shoulders and whispers in her ear. “Go for it, bitch, go for it. He’s hitting on you. We’ll be over there.”
She lets Y/N go and drags Eliza with her over to another part of the bar. Y/N grabs her drink and smiles at Harry.
“Your name’s Y/N, right?”
“You must have seen hundreds of people today, how’d you remember?”
“I’m really good with names.” He grins. “Do you want to join me and my friends?”
“What?!”
“Come on, seems like your friends are busy anyways.” He nods over to Melinda and Eliza where Melinda was working as a wing-man for Eliza. “They’re bringing over the Patron, you’ll love it.” He grabs her wrist and brings her over. One of the body guards raises his eyebrows. “I’m baacckk, let us in Mike.” Mike lifts the rope up and lets Harry and Y/N in. “Everyone this is Y/N, she’s got to be one of my biggest fans, so she’s joining us.” He pulls her down into the booth with him and puts his arm around her shoulders.
He was drunk, this was very clear. No one seemed bothered by her presence. Everyone was just happy to have refills for their drinks. Harry takes a shot of the Patron along with everyone else as Y/N sips on her drink. She felt bad, Eliza had to be a bigger fan of Harry, or at least she had been a fan longer…
“So, how’d you know he’d be here?” Harry’s manager, Jeff, asks.
“I didn’t.” She blushes. “My friends and I come here all the time.”
“Right, like we haven’t heard that one before.” Jeff smirks. “Some of you fangirls-“
“Oi! Don’t make fun, she’s cool.” Harry defends her.
“I can prove I’ve been here plenty of times.” Y/N takes her phone out and shows them her Facebook page. “There, you can see how many times I’ve checked in here. I only live a block away, so this tends to be the spot.”
“See, Jess, this is the spot.” Harry smirks, and knocks back another shot. “We’re being rude, here.” He slides a shot over to her. “Have as much as you like.”
“That’s okay, I have this.” She points to her glass.
“Oh, I knew I liked you, you’re so nice.” He pulls her a little closer to him. “But really, if you want any, you can have as much as you want, okay?”
“Thanks.”
Y/N sort of just sits there and tries to listen as each person talks, but the music was so loud, and she was itching to dance, especially now that she had a couple of drinks in her. She was drumming her fingers mindlessly on the table.
“Do you want to dance?” He whispers in her ear. A shiver goes up her spine. She looks up at him and nods. “Alright, let’s hit it then.”
She gets out of the booth and he quickly follows her out to the dance floor. At first it’s just light and playful, he keeps one hand in hers, but keeps a respectable distance. If Y/N was dancing with her friends right now she’d probably be popping her ass no problem. She sort of wished they were still around. She couldn’t remember the last time she danced with a guy. She looks at him and feels a little bold, so she hooks an arm around his neck and dances close to him. His hands move to her hips as she essentially grinds on his thigh. When the next song starts, she turns around to grind her ass against his pelvis. He presses forward against her and she can tell he’s very happy to be dancing with her.
“You said your place was only a block away?” He says into her ear, and she nods. “Wanna head there?”
She stops dancing and turns around to face him.
“Are you serious?” She raises an eyebrow at him.
“Sorry, too forward?”
“No…I just…um…yeah, let’s go back to mine.”
He smiles and throws his arm around her shoulders. He looks over at Jeff who was still sitting with their friends. He waves off to him, and heads out side with Y/N. Harry whistles for a cab, and one pulls up almost right away. They both get into the backseat, and Y/N gives the driver her address. Harry rubs circles into her shoulder. She rests her hand on his knee, as her leg shakes with nerves.
“You alright, love?”
“Mhm, yeah.” She doesn’t look at him.
“No need to be nervous, babe, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
She looks up at him now and smiles. She wanted to do everything with him. It was like every fantasy she had was coming to life. She had dreams about this, but never thought it would come true. The cab pulls up in front of Y/N’s building and they both get out of the cab. She keys into the front door and she leads him to the elevator.
“I’m surprised you’re not exhausted, must be draining to meet so many people.”
“Caught a second wind.” He winks at her. She giggles as they get off at her floor.
She leads him inside as she flips the lights on.
“It’s just a studio.”
“It’s nice, just enough space. You’ve got a great view.” He says as he walks over to the window.
“Yeah, I got really lucky.”
“Mind if I pull the curtains?”
“Not at all.”
She watches the muscles in his back flex as he reaches to pull the curtains closed. He turns to face her and walks over to where she is. He cups one of her cheeks and she leans into his touch.
“I have to be honest, I don’t usually do this.” He says.
“Do what? Hook up with a girl from a bar?” She smirks.
“No, hook up with a fan…” He sighs. “But what you said to me earlier about your anxiety and how my books have helped you, it stuck with me all day. I’m really glad I ran back into you. I got kinda nervous when you didn’t message me.”
“What? Why would I have?”
“I wrote my number in your book.” He lets go of her and steps back. “You didn’t read my notes?”
“No, I…I was saving them for when I was feeling down.” She admits, a little embarrassed. “Why did you put your number in it?”
“In case you ever needed someone to talk to…if you ever got sick of listening to the same story over and over. It was a little impulsive, but no one’s ever said anything like that to me before.”
“I’m surprised by that.”
“Usually people just tell me that they enjoyed it, or they try to flirt or something. It’s usually pretty hollow.” He shrugs. “But you…” He takes her hands in his. “Well…if you noticed, I didn’t really hug anyone else.”
“I did notice. You made me feel really special, Harry.”
“I’d like to keep making you feel that way…”
He releases her hands, and she wraps her arms around his neck. Her hands slide up through his curls, and she gets up on her tip toes while his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her close. His lips brush over hers, and she pulls his face closer to hers to deepen the kiss. She smiles against his lips which makes him smile and pull back.
“What is it?”
“I just…I can’t believe this is happening…” She presses her hips closer to his.
“You’ve thought about this before, with me?”
She nods her head yes and he smirks.
“Is that weird?” She asks, cheeks heating up from embarrassment.
“Who am I to judge what helps someone fall asleep at night?” His voice was low now, eyes darker than they were moments before.
Maybe this wasn’t something either of them should be doing while inebriated. But from lack of better judgement they start kissing again. His hands slide down to cup her ass, and his large hands give her a squeeze. She groans into his mouth, giving him the perfect excuse to lick into her. Her tongue molds to his, and she starts pushing him to walk back towards her bed. He happily lets her lead the way.
The back of his calves hit the bed, and he almost loses his balance. He sits down and brings her with him so she’s straddling his lap. Lips only breaking for a moment to get some air until they’re on each other again. Her hands lace through his hair and he groans when she tugs on him. His lips move to her jaw and then to just under her ear. She gasps when she feels him suck on the tender skin. Her hips roll down over his, and he smirks against her. He licks over the spot he was sucking on, and goes back for more. She grinds herself against him, feeling his bulge press up against where she needs it most. His lips move back to hers so he can nip at her bottom lip before looking at her.
“You want this?” He asks.
“Wouldn’t have said yes to coming back here if I didn’t.”
“You could have changed your mind between the bar and now.” He tucks some loose strands of hair behind her hair. “I meant what I said earlier, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
“I want to, do you?”
“I certainly didn’t change my mind.”
She smiles and leans in to kiss him again before getting off him. She reaches behind him quickly to snag one of her throw pillows to put on the floor. She sits up on her knees before him and reaches for his for the button on his dress pants. She looks up at him as he widens his legs for her. He wasn’t expecting a blow job, but he wasn’t one to turn it down. She pops the button and undoes his zipper. She reaches into his pants and palms him through his boxers first. His palms were flat on the bed, his arms keeping him up, but he can’t help but let his head fall back from her touch.
“Harry, look at me.”
He immediately does as she says so he can make eye contact with her.
“Is this okay? Can I take it out?”
“Yeah, please.”
She smiles and tugs his pants and boxers down slightly, he lifts his hips up to help her. He unbuttons his shirt while his dick slaps up against his lower stomach. She gazes up at him. Once his shirt is off, she can’t help but look over all his tattoos.
“You’re so…pretty.” She chuckles.
“Not as pretty as you.” He runs his hands through her hair, giving her a little encouragement to get started.
She blushes as her eyes fall to his hard cock, tip swollen and ready to go. She licks her right hand and gives him a few pumps first. He grunts as he watches her. She licks a stripe up from his base to his tip before she wraps her lips around him. His eyes flutter closed for a second, but he didn’t want to miss anything so he does his best to keep his eyes open to watch her work on him. She already had small droplets of spit rolling down her chin. Sloppy, he thinks to himself and he smirks. She sinks a little further down on him, testing herself to see how much she can take. He thrusts up slightly to meet her halfway and she gags on him, needing to pop off for a moment.
“Sorry, been a while.” She mumbles, and gets back on him.
“No worries, doing great, love.”
He helps keep her hair back as she starts to bob up and down on him. Her warm mouth felt so fucking good around him. She swallows around him before really hollowing her cheeks to suck on him. Her mouth moves up to his tip so she can lick away at his slit. She wraps a hand around him to pump him as she does this.
“Baby, baby, hold on.” He pants, and moves her face away from him. She looks up at him with big, innocent eyes that were slightly watery now. “I’ll come if you keep doing that.” He sounded almost out of the breath. She nods and stands up. His hands grips her hips and then slide to the button on her own jeans. “You’re sure?”
“Yes.” She says, taking off her shirt. He looks up at her and kisses on her chest as he undoes her pants.
He yanks them down her legs. He smiles at her mismatched set of underwear. She had worn a white bra with her yellow shirt, and a simple pair of blue panties with her jeans.
“I didn’t think, um, I would be…it was a girl’s night, and-“
“Do you really think I care about your underwear not matching?” He raises an eyebrow at her as he smirks.
She smiles and rests her hands on his shoulders as he kisses on her lower tummy. He stands up to kick his pants away, and lets her get on the bed. She lays on her back, propping herself up with her elbows. He crawls onto the bed and settles between her legs. His lips find hers as he grinds himself against her covered center. She bites her bottom lip, just wanting her underwear gone. He reaches behind her to unhook her bra. After a few seconds of fumbling he gets it, and watches the bra loosen around her. She pushes it off her shoulders, and tosses it to the ground. His hands cup her full breasts immediately. He kneads them and tweaks her nipples. She grinds her hips up towards his as they continue to move against each other. He dips his head down to kiss on her chest, and he rolls a nipple between his teeth. He works his way down her body and slides her underwear down her legs, tossing them aside where he feels like. She parts her legs for him.
He dips his down and licks from her center to her clit. He does this slowly but with precision. Her hips buck up towards him, encouraging him to keep going, so he does. He licks all around her until his lips are around her throbbing clit. He nibbles and sucks and flicks his tongue while his fingers explore her folds. Her hands were in his hair. She kept thinking she was going to wake up. Any minute now she would snap out of her dream. She would pinch her eyes closed and expect to see the morning sun creeping through her windows, but not this time. When she opened her eyes there he was, head between her legs, lapping away at her. The clouds covering the moon and night sky. He had her whimpering and tugging at his hair. He wanted her to come, but not yet, just get her to the brink. She pouts at him when he lifts his head. He licks his lips and smiles at her.
“Got any rubbers?”
“Mhm, in the bathroom, I can-“
“I got it, just tell me where.”
“The box in the cabinet below the sink.”
He pecks her lips before going into her little bathroom. He smirked to himself wondering how he might shower the next morning. He was taller than the showerhead. He bends down to open up the cabinet and spots the box of condoms. It was opened, but not many were missing. Not the he was one to judge. Harry hooked up a lot. He grabs a couple, just in case they feel like getting frisky again later on, and heads back out. He rips the foil packet open and slides it on over his length. She bites her bottom lip in anticipation.
“Tell me something,” He starts as he gets back on the bed, between her legs, hovering over her body. “When you had me in your thoughts was it ever like this?”
He rubs his tip against her clit, getting her to moan out. He pushes into her entrance but doesn’t go much further until he gets his answer. His eyebrows were raised, looking at her.
“This is usually the part when I’d wake up.” She whispers. “Before anything good could really happen.” She cups his cheek and runs her thumb over his cheekbone. “Please.”
He kisses her as he pushes the rest of the way inside her. They both groan. She was so wet, even with the condom on, it still felt amazing. He was nice and snug inside her. He moves slowly at first to not hurt her. He hooks an arm under one of her legs to bring it up a little higher. He wanted to get in as deep as possible. She clutches at his shoulders as he drives it in.
“Oh my god.” She gasps as his tip brushes her g-spot. “Jesus Christ.” She grits her teeth.
“Ever had anyone like this before?” He says into her ear.
“Never this deep, shit.”
He sits up and puts both of her legs over his shoulders. His fingers press bruises into her thighs as he holds onto her. She looks up at him as her mouth falls open. He was ramming into her and it felt so good to fuck like this. She didn’t want to be treated delicately. What he was doing was amazing, but her clit was missing the friction, so her hand slides down to rub at it.
“Fuck.” He breathes as he watches her touch herself. He lets go of one of her thighs and moves her hand aside so he can rub it for her. Her head rolls back the second she feels his thumb on her.
“Just like that.” She pants. “Don’t stop.”
He grunts his response as he continues to fuck her. He could feel her tightening around his cock and he knew she was close. He rubs her a little faster, and watches as her body contorts under his.
“Let go, come on, show me how you do it, Y/N.”
That pushes her over the edge. She cries out as she comes around him. He rubs her still, but slows his pace to help her through it. She tightens around him again as she comes down from her bliss. He drops her legs and pulls out. He sits up against her headboard and pulls her into his lap. He doesn’t have her face him, though, he has her sit on him facing away. Her head rolls back against his shoulder once she sinks down on him. She uses her knees to push herself up and down on his cock. He bites down on her shoulder, licks up to just under her ear to suck on the tender skin again. His hands find her bouncing breasts, and he kneads them.
“Harry.” She groans.
“Feels good, love?”
“So good.” She turns her head and sticks her tongue out slightly so he’ll kiss her. His tongue meets hers and they practically slobber all over each other as her pace quickens on him.
His hands slide down to her hips to help her. He thrusts up into her to get into a rhythm. He could feel his orgasm bubbling at the base of his spine.
“Fuck, oh my god.” He moans, which makes her moan. She tightens around him. He wanted her to come again, to come with him, so he rubs her clit while she continues to bounce him.
“Shit, fuck, Harry!”
They come at the same time, both of them crying out form the intensity. He gives her a second to catch her breath before he lifts her off of him. She gets up and quickly walks to the bathroom to clean herself up. He goes in after her to rid himself of the condom. She was about to throw on a t-shirt when he comes back out.
“Don’t bother.” He smirks.
“What do you mean?”
“It’ll just come off again.”
“Oh.” She blushes and puts it back into her dresser.
He gets on the bed with her and pulls her close to his chest. His fingers run up and down her back lightly, causing goosebumps to raise on her skin. She rests one of her legs on top of his, and wraps her arm around his torso. She wasn’t sure if she’d have the energy to fuck him again so soon, especially when the rhythm of his heart beat was lulling her to sleep. Her eyes flutter closed. He looks down at her and smiles when he sees her lips parted. He kisses the top of her head, and slowly falls asleep himself.
//
The next morning, Y/N wakes up cozy, head stuffed into her pillow, blankets wrapped around her. It was darker than usual. Her eyes flutter open and see the rain falling down. She hears it tapping delicately against her windows. It was a normal Sunday morning, or it would have been if she hadn’t completely forgotten there was a warm body wrapped around her. She rolls over slowly not to disturb the stranger. She gasps to herself when she sees it really is Harry Styles, not just some guy that looked like him. She really took him home with her and she really fucked him. He pulls her closer to her and she sighs.
“Your bed’s comfy.” He mutters.
“Thanks, I’ve got one of those foam pads under the sheets. Makes a world of difference.”
She feels his chest rumble as he chuckles. She feels him press a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling away slightly.
“Mind if I grab a shower?”
“Not at all.” She smiles up at him. “If you don’t mind smelling like my fruity shampoo, that is.”
“You’re funny.” He chuckles again and stretches as he sits up. He rubs his eyes, and gets out of the bed. Y/N couldn’t help but ogle his naked body as he walks away. He pops his head out of the door frame to look at her. “Are you coming?”
“Oh…you wanted me to-“
“Obviously.” He scoffs. “Wouldn’t mind fucking you again, either.”
Normally she’d wrap herself in a blanket, but if he was going to be bold, then so was she. So she gets out of bed and struts over towards him. She brushes her teeth quickly as he uses some mouth wash. She gets the water in the shower going.
“Does that head detach? I don’t know if I can crouch for that long.” He laughs.
“Yeah, it comes right off, don’t worry.” She pulls back the curtain and they both get in.
She helps him wash up, scrubs her nails over his head as she washes out the shampoo, and once they’re both clean, he hoists her up against the wall, and kisses her. She was plenty wet for him, and he smiles against her as he slips a finger inside her.
“You were ready f’me, hm?”
“Guess so.” She nips at his bottom lip, which delights him.
“Mind if I just slip it in like this and pull out after?”
“That’s fine.” She smiles. “Wouldn’t mind actually being able to feel you.”
“Christ.” He groans, and then pushes his hard cock inside her. Her head rolls back against the tile as his lips attack to her throat.
It was a nice, passionate morning fuck. When they’re done she gets him a towel, and wraps one around herself. He watches as she runs around to make her bed back up. It was a small apartment, so any clutter just made it look even smaller. He grabs his phone out of his pants pocket, and sighs.
“Alright?” She asks, sitting on the edge of her bed. He comes to sit down next to her.
“Yeah, just a ton of missed calls and texts. Thought I made it pretty clear to Jeff I wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel last night.”
“Do you have a plane to catch or anything?”
“Not today, tomorrow though.”
She watches as he types away to respond to the dozen or so texts he had form various people.
“Would you like any coffee or anything? Juice?”
“Just a black coffee would be perfect if it’s not too much trouble, love.”
“Coming right up.”
His eyes flicker up to watch her bum and hips sway as she walks into the kitchen area. She fills up her Keurig to get his coffee going.
“No cream or sugar, just black?”
“Please.” He smiles. “Thanks.”
She nods and gets a mug down from her cabinet to place under the machine. She thinks he’s talking to her for a moment, but when she looks over she can see he’s on the phone.
“I’m not sure when I’ll be back. I’m well aware, thanks.” He sighs and shakes his head. “I’m allowed to go out and have some fun.” He crosses a leg over the other so he can rest his elbow on his thigh, propping his chin up with his palm. “She’s making me a cup of coffee, is that alright? No, I don’t just carry those in my back pocket…” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll take care of it. Alright, bye.”
She comes over to him with a mug for him, and one for herself. She added a bit of cream to hers. She just couldn’t do black coffee.
“Thank you so much, feel like I’m about to get a headache.” He says, taking the mug from her, smacking his lips after he takes a sip.
“I have some aspirin if you need some.”
“Caffeine should work just fine, but thank you.”
“So, uh, not that I was listening in or anything, just, small space and all, but what don’t you carry around in your back pocket?”
“Oh.” He chuckles. “An NDA, that’s all. Jeff’s gonna email one over to me any second I’m sure.”
“What do you need an NDA for?”
“It’s not for me, it’s for you.”  She looks at him deeply confused. “I’m a very private person, and not that I think you’re the type to go around spouting your business, it’s just, well, you’re a fan and…”
“You need me to sign an NDA so I won’t tell anyone we fucked?”
“Basically, yeah. Sorry if that makes things a little awkward. It’s just to keep my personal life personal, that’s all.” He takes another sip of the coffee. “This is really good, what brand is this?”
“Green Mountain Coffee…it comes from Vermont.”
“It’s delicious, I’ll have to look into it.” He smiles, although she can tell she’s starting to feel uneasy. She’s painfully aware that this was just a drunk hookup, a one night stand. “Are you alright?” He puts a hand on her knee.
“M’fine, just a bit groggy.” She sips her own coffee.
“Well, I’m starved, you’ve gotta be too, right? What a good place to grab some breakfast around here?” He stands up and starts looking for his clothes.
“Um…there’s a place right down the street.”
“We’ll have to take a cab unless you have a really big umbrella.” He smirks as he pulls his boxers on.
“Do I have to sign an agreement saying I won’t talk about breakfast too, or?”
Harry sighs as he pulls his pants on. She looks at him as she sips her coffee.
“Guess I’ll find out when I read the fine print.” She stands up and walks back over to her kitchen area. He follows her there with his mug and sticks it in the sink.
“Why is it such a big deal?”
“It’s not, I just…I mean…what do you think I’m going to do? Go onto a blog and spill every detail about last night? As if I could remember every little thing.” She scoffs and rinses out her mug.
“You easily could. You have to understand, sometimes when stories slip or people feel like they know things about you, it’s harder to get deals or make business decisions. I want to be taken seriously, so I don’t post personal things on social media, and I have the people I hook up with sign NDA’s.”
“Well, maybe I should have you sign one for me then.” She says, crossing her arms. He raises an eyebrow at her. “How do I know our night together won’t be inspiration for your next love scenes? You’re quite descriptive in your works. You must take from real life when you’re writing those things.”
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll text Jeff and have him email me two, one for each of us. I won’t talk about you and you won’t talk about me. Now, can we please go get some breakfast?”
“Why do you even want to go anywhere with me if you’re so scared of people finding out?” She walks over to her dresser to pick out an outfit she wouldn’t mind getting wet in the rain.
“It’s one thing to be seen with someone at a diner, it’s another to have what you’re like in the bedroom aired out to millions of people.”
“It’ll be obvious we slept together. My neck is littered with kiss marks.” She taps over one of the spots. He watches as she wriggles a pair of panties up her legs, and then a pair of jeans. “You’re also wearing your clothes from last night.” She tosses him his button up.
“I don’t suppose you have a large t-shirt I could throw on?”
“I’m sure I could find one.” She find a bra and t-shirt of her own, and then rummages through her pajama drawer for one of her larger bed shirts. “Here.” She hands him the shirt. He puts it on and looks down at it.
“Cute.” He smiles. “You can keep mine, and I’ll keep this one, how’s that sound?”
“Guess I’m just glad that’s not my favorite one.” She grabs her raincoat and umbrella. She furrows her brows and then remembers where her rubber boots on. “Could you order an uber or something?”
“Sure.”
They get down to the street, and head into the car he ordered. The diner was busy when they got there, but since it was just the two of them, they didn’t have to wait long to be seated. Harry’s phone pings with the email from Jeff.
“So…I just need to digitally sign it?”
“Mhm.” He hands his phone over to her so she can read over everything. He rests his chin on his palm. “Don’t think I’ve ever seen someone read over it so diligently before.”
“I’m a lawyer.” She mumbles.
“No shit.” He sits up, suddenly even more intrigued with her. “Good for you.”
“Well, I’m in law school, and I work as a para at a law firm, but I’m getting there.” She says as she uses her finger to sign her life away. “I’d like to read the one he sent to you for me.”
“Just swipe to the next email.”
She nods and looks it over. It was the same as her. She hands him back his phone and watches him sign it.
“I’d like both copies emailed over to me.”
“Alright, what’s your email?”
“I’ll put it in.” She takes his phone back and puts her information in, sending herself the copies. “There.” She crosses her arms. “Happy?”
“Yes, actually.”
A waitress comes over to them, and they both order scrambled eggs with bacon, potatoes, and toast. It’s quiet between them for a few moments. She looks out the window to watch the rain fall, and then looks back at him. He was twiddling his thumbs in his lap.
“Harry?”
“Yeah?” He looks up at her.
“What am I doing here with you? You could have easily slipped out this morning, even last night…”
“I’m not that kind of guy.”
“So…what is this, a consolation before we never see each other again?”
“No.”
“Then what is this?! I feel like I’m not even looking at a real person. I’ve wanted to meet you for so long, and I would have killed for the opportunity to sit down and have breakfast with you. I have so many questions about your work, and-“
“So, ask me.”
“What?”
“Ask me all your questions. What can I answer that I haven’t already in an interview? You wanna know my thought process? Where and what I get inspired by? How long it takes me to write a book, a chapter even? I only have bullshit answers, to be honest. I keep notes on my phone for when I get inspired, and then when I’m able to be at my computer I’ll type for hours without stopping. It’s like I blackout or something. It feels like I didn’t even take a second to blink. I’ll work on multiple projects at the same time too. I have three other books I’m currently working, all with completely different topics and characters. I can’t shut my brain off, ever. I don’t know why I’m like this. Even when I go on a vacation to unplug, I have to keep a notebook with me to write things down. I started writing because I just needed to get everything out of my head. I feel a huge sense of relief when I’m done with a piece so I can just move on from it. I had to start my own publication because my content was going to be put in the same category as Fifty Shades, and I didn’t want that. Luckily, Jeff went to school for PR, and he helped me out, and now he’s my manager. He’s the best there is, but sometimes it would be nice to fuck a pretty girl and take her to breakfast without having to worry about every little thing.”
Before Y/N can respond their food is brought over. They both thank the waitress. She picks her for up and plays with her potatoes before looking at him.
“Not to mention, said pretty girl told me how much my work means to her, how it helps her sleep at night. Fuck, I mean, I thought I was going to melt into a fucking puddle right there. My anxiety gets bad at night too, I knew exactly where you were coming from, babe. I can’t tell you how many nights I try to go to sleep and can’t, so I just get up and go back to my computer until I pass out in my chair.” He blinks at her, as she still says nothing. “Are you…not going to say anything?”
“I’m not sure what to say, I’m trying to take in everything you said and match it to the person you were yesterday at that signing. It’s an act, right? Your cool demeanor?”
“I have a stage presence for sure.” He sighs, and takes a bite of his bacon. “What am I gonna do, get up there and tell everyone that the fourth book took so long because I had to have surgery for carpal tunnel?”
“For someone who likes to be so private, you’re sure telling me a lot of personal things.”
“You signed something saying you wouldn’t discuss any of this, so I feel a little freer to explain myself. Have I totally ruined your perception of me? Is this a never meet your hero sort of moment?”
“Not at all.” She smiles. “You seem comfortable with me, which is nice. I like that I’m seeing this side of you, you’re more than just the suave guy I’ve seen in interviews, or listening to on podcasts. You’re a person, just like me.”
“Exactly, so you understand why I might want some privacy.”
“I do.” She nods and finally takes a bite of her food. “I’m sorry if I got a little pissy about it.”
“Don’t be, it’s always an awkward conversation to have.”
“So, how many women do you hook up with exactly? You’re making yourself sound like a player.” She chuckles.
“I mean…I’m a guy who has needs. I’m not gonna lie, I probably do it a little too much, but I don’t usually spend this much time with the person, or if I do…well…it’s not usually like this.”
“Why?”
“I wanted to actually have a conversation with you.” He shrugs. “You peaked my interest.”
“Clearly.” She smirks.
“At least I’ve never rubbed one out to the thought of a famous person.” He smirks back.
“Oh, I’m sorry, do you consider yourself famous?” She grins at him. “And I haven’t rubbed one out, it’s usually just a dream. Don’t flatter yourself, Harry.” She shakes her head.
“My bad, so I’ll just assume you get that wet for every guy you hook up with?”
Where was this conversation going, and why was it happening in such a public place? Was he trying to rile her up?
“I don’t think this is appropriate to talk about right now.” She whispers harshly.
He smirks and continues eating. They look at each other occasionally as they eat. The waitress comes over with the bill, and Harry throws some cash down on the table.
“Let me pay the tip at least.” She says, reaching for her purse.
“Don’t be silly, I put plenty down for the tip. I’ve got it.” He puts his hand over hers. “Seems like the rain’s stopped, wanna walk back?”
“Do you not need to be anywhere?”
“Nope.” He smiles. “Today’s my free day, isn’t that nice? I’ve got a plane to catch tomorrow morning, and that’s all I have to worry about. So, I’m more than happy to walk you back home.”
She nods and follows him out of the diner.
“So, do I only get your email, or do I get your number too?”
“Why, so you can hit me up whenever you’re in the city?”
“Precisely.” He nudges her as she laughs. “Come on, I gave you mine.”
“I can’t believe I didn’t even look…I would have been so embarrassed, you would have forgotten all about me. I don’t even know if I would have even had the courage to message you.”
“I wouldn’t have forgotten you.”
“Did you manager know you just gave your number out like that?”
“God no, he’d murder me.” Harry chuckles. “Jeff’s great, but he’s way too serious.”
“So, maybe I’ll message you sometime.”
“I prefer chatting on the phone, to be honest.”
“Why’s that?”
“Anyone can send a text, but a phone is, like, I don’t know, it’s romantic.”
“Romantic?”
“Yeah, like, a phone is something you really need to make time for.”
She pouts at him and looks at him with big eyes. They stop once they’re in front of her building.
“I come back to the city in two weeks, I really would like to see you again.”
“What are you coming back for?”
“Another signing. This one sold out, and I felt bad. I think anyone who wants to see me should.” He shrugs. “I wouldn’t have anything that I do if it weren’t for the people who supported me.”
“That’s sweet.” She smiles. “Okay, I guess we could see each other again.”
“Great, just make sure you call me, okay? Then I can call you, and we’ll just be two people calling each other sometimes.” He blushes.
“Why are you so romantic?” She laughs and wraps her arms around his waist.
“I wish I knew. It’s a blessing and a curse, I think.” He sighs and cups her cheeks. He leans in and kisses her, she happily kisses him back and pulls him closer.
“Do you, um, need to go back to your hotel now?”
“Not necessarily, what’d you have in mind?” He raises an eyebrow at her. She leans up and whispers in his ear, making his cheeks grow hotter. He looks at her, a little stunned. “I definitely have time for that.”
“I figured you would.” She winks at him and yanks him into her building.
She wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet. Everything still felt like a dream, only better. Even when Harry had to go off to his next signing, she slept better than she ever had. She called him late one night, much to his surprise, and they spoke for hours. She didn’t have to listen to the same words over and over to fall asleep, she had him, the real him.
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cosmicjoke · 3 years
Text
Alright, so onto chapter 2 of “No Regrets”.  
I want to talk a little about these opening panels, when Levi, Furlan and Isabel are being driven to HQ by carriage.  They seem unimportant, but I think they’re actually really important in understanding Levi’s psychology going into this new situation they’re all in.
We see the interior of the carriage, with Levi and the other two, along with an escort from the SC.  Furlan and Isabel are both looking out the window of the carriage, and in particular, Isabel seems incredibly excited and in awe of the passing view.  She’s stood up, with her face pressed to the window.  And in the next panel, we see her looking at a little girl with her mother, dressed nicely and holding a doll.  This really encapsulates everything Isabel herself has probably never had.  A reliable mother to take care of her, fancy clothes and toys to play with.  Essentially, an actual childhood.  We see Isabel’s face in the window, and her mouth is open in wonder, her eyes wide.  Like she can’t believe what she’s seeing.  It emphasizes the depravation and lack of privilege she’s endured all her life.  Meanwhile, by contrast, Levi sits there with his head bowed down, ignoring the passing scenery, looking deeply unhappy, even depressed.  When he does look up though, he sees Isabel looking out the window, and on the close up shot of him, he’s got an almost thoughtful expression, if still extremely dour.  No doubt, Levi is feeling uneasy and uncertain about the situation they’ve all gotten themselves into here, but I’m also sure that he’s unable to ignore the bubbling over excitement of Isabel, her obvious joy in being, at last, on the surface.  I’ll get more into this later in the post, when we see Levi really considering his friends and their dreams, and how it influences and dictates his own decisions.
But first lets talk a little about Erwin and his role in all of this.
Now at the time this series came out, Erwin’s actual, motivating reasons for doing what he does weren’t yet known, so it’s interesting to read into his actions in this story with that context.  I have no doubt that Erwin really DOES care about humanity, and wants to fight for it, and its salvation.  But as we come to learn from the main series, he places his own dream of proving his father right about the existence of human’s beyond the walls above what’s best for humanity, and it puts his actions in this story into an interesting, if harsher light.
No doubt, Erwin is a master manipulator.  He plays both sides expertly against the middle in this story, and I’ll get more into it by the end, when his actual plan is revealed to Levi.  But what I don’t see often discussed is how, exactly, Erwin got all the parts moving in the direction he wanted, to obtain a specific outcome, and how he pretty ruthlessly uses so many people as pawns to do so.  It’s obvious from the context of what we later learn in the story that Erwin first spread a rumor about having evidence against Lovof stealing funds in order to force him into tipping his hand by trying to make a preemptive move.  What I see people miss all the time, or at least, fail to discuss, is how Erwin also, at the same time, made it public knowledge within the Capital, that he would be going after a group of thugs in the Underground who had shown exceptional skill using ODM gear, and that he would be making contact with them as soon as possible to try and enlist them into military service, and how Erwin made these plans public specifically to encourage Lobov into seeking out Levi and his friends for the exact purpose of both implicating Lobov in a crime, and gaining Levi’s and his friends strength for the SC.  One, by hiring a group of criminals to steal from Erwin and attempt to assassinate him, so he could use that as leverage in case he wasn’t able to obtain proof of Lobov’s further criminal activities, thus having two means of getting rid of one of the SC’s biggest threats, and at the same time, also manage to score for the SC the exceptional skill of Levi and his friends through forced enlistment.  He even says to Zackely at one point “I intend to make use of anyone who has even the smallest potential during this expedition.”.  Erwin manipulated and had control of this entire scenario from the start, and from behind these scenes moved all of these people exactly how he wanted to, to achieve his goals.  That’s pretty impressive, but also pretty scary.  Well, I’ll talk more about all of that when we get to it later on.
Back to Levi and his friends though.
We see them arrive at the SC HQ, and a really important conversation happens between Levi and Furlan.  
Furlan seems like he’s almost bitten off more than he can chew here, beginning to express his concern to Levi about what joining the SC actually means, before Levi cuts him off, telling him he’s got no intention of enlisting, and that he only agreed to come along so that he could get closer to Erwin and then kill him.  I think Levi genuinely felt murderous towards Erwin at this point, and really means what he says here, at least about killing him.  Though given the end of chapter 1, with the significant look shared between Levi and Furlan, and Levi’s begrudging acceptance of Erwin’s offer, it’s obvious that Levi also agreed to come because that’s what Furlan wanted him to do, to give them the opportunity they needed.  Levi’s just feeling incredibly emotional here, I think, with the way Erwin treated all of them hot on his mind.  Furlan tries to implore Levi to forget about killing Erwin, that it isn’t necessary anymore because of his own plan, and the almost certainty that Lobov and his people won’t ever try to make contact with them again.  He tells Levi, if he just listens to him and follows his plan, “I know it’ll work.  Trust me, Levi.”  Furlan asking him to trust him pulls a meaningful look from Levi, seeming to break through Levi’s angry insistence on killing Erwin.  This is where the manga improved on Levi’s characterization and motivation by leaps and bounds over the visual novel, because in the next few panels, we see Levi walking away, with Furlan calling after him, concerned, but we get to see Levi’s inner thoughts, and he’s remembering specifically Furlan insisting to him that “one day, we’ll get outta this trash heap and live up above.”  We see Levi thinking about Furlan’s hopes and dreams in these panels, and he has a saddened, and guilt-ridden look on his face, like he feels bad about having dismissed Furlan’s plans back there in favor of his own plans for revenge.  We didn’t get any of this in the visual novel, instead the text there making Levi look like he refused to consider anyones position but his own in this whole situation.  But here, Levi is clearly concerned with and considering Furlan’s desires.  
We go into a flashback then, with Furlan explaining to Levi his plans, telling him that “nothing’s gone according to plan... But with you here we’ll really be able to raise hell.”  Furlan’s trying to explain to Levi that since he now has Levi’s strength to rely on, they can actually get something done once they get into the Survey Corps.  It almost seems like Furlan’s been planning on trying something like this, or at least, had some sort of loose plan about getting to the surface, even before he met Levi.  It’s obviously something he’s been dreaming about for a long time.
Then Isabel comes back, and she’s been roughed up and assaulted, and we learn from Furlan asking her if she went to see those “low-life scumbags again?” that this has obviously happened to her before, that she’s been associating with some bad people and it’s gotten her hurt.  She denies it and lies about having just tripped, but clearly neither Levi or Furlan are buying that.  Levi asks Isabel what happened to her hair, and Isabel reacts badly, running away and hiding in her room.  We get a close up of Levi holding a knife in his hands, foreshadowing his own intentions.  Later that night, Furlan hears Isabel crying in her room, and her chanting to herself over and over that she’s going to “kill you”, presumably meaning the men that hurt her earlier.  Furlan stands there lamenting that he thinks both Levi and Isabel are going “mad”, and that all they can think about is dragging everyone else down to where they are.  He’s obviously terrified that he’s going to lose both his friends to the savagery and ruthlessness of the Underground, that both of them are going to end up becoming lost to their own anger and pain.  He starts to say “That’s why I...” before Levi suddenly comes back in, holding a bloody knife, clearly having returned from exacting revenge on the men who hurt Isabel.  Furlan asks Levi “Did you kill them...?”, and Levi doesn’t answer, but we see a completely resigned, even sad look on his face.  This of course is the world Levi comes from.  It’s the world he was raised in.  A world of kill or be killed.  Levi must have figured, if he didn’t go out and kill those men that had hurt Isabel now, then someday, they would end up going too far with her, and kill her instead.  But Furlan clearly doesn’t understand, and doesn’t relate to that kind of mindset, despite coming from the Underground too.  Of course, Furlan wasn’t raised by Kenny the Ripper either.  This is how Levi was taught to deal with his problems, and Furlan can only see him spiraling into an abyss from which he fears Levi won’t return.
We cut back to the present then, and Levi is sitting up on the roof of the SC HQ, again remembering Furlan’s words about “This is our chance.  Trust me.”.  Getting to the surface and finding better lives for themselves is Furlan’s dream.  The fact that Levi keeps remembering it, keeps remembering Furlan insisting and pushing the idea of the possibility of living on the surface, shows that this is probably something he would talk about all the time with Levi, trying to get him to agree to it, to believe in it.  Once again, Levi is contemplating the hopes and dreams of his friends.  We get another close up of him holding a knife, and it represents, I think, his struggle between his desire for revenge against Erwin, and his desire to help Furlan realize what, to Levi, is probably an unrealistic goal.
We then get Furlan and Isabel joining Levi, commenting on how beautiful the night sky is, and asking Levi how he could keep it to himself.  Levi snips testily at Furlan that him and Isabel are so loud, that he’d be too irritated to get any killing done, and then Furlan looking clearly unsettled by the remark.  But it’s obvious, given the context of the previous panels of Levi’s thinking about Furlan’s dream, that Levi is just being peevish and saying things out of frustration and confusion.  He doesn’t really mean what he says here.  He’s taking his frustration out on Furlan by saying what he knows will upset him the most.  What this also tells us is that Levi is very much aware of how bothered Furlan is by Levi’s willingness to kill.  He isn’t at all oblivious to it, and given his resigned, saddened expression after coming back from killing the men who assaulted Isabel, I would say Levi even understands Furlan’s dismay.  That’s a glimpse at Levi’s famous compassion.
The next panels show the three of them bonding, sitting together and admiring the night sky.  Isabel asks Levi if the stars are as pretty as where he used to live.  I’m just going to chalk the mistake in continuity here up to this manga coming out before, I believe, Levi’s backstory of being born in a brothel in the Underground was established by Isayama.  Regardless of this mistake, this is an important moment between the three of them.  You can see the awe and wonder they all feel, looking up and seeing the sky fully for what has to be the first time in all their lives.  Remember, all three of them have lived literally underground their entire lives, with little to no sunlight, stagnant, stale air, hideously unclean living conditions, etc...  It must be overwhelming to them , just to see nature in all its splendor like that.  It’s after sharing this moment together that Levi tells Furlan that he’s decided he won’t kill Erwin for now.  He looks at him and says “I’m going to trust you.”.  And Furlan smiles at him, clearly happy and relieved.  This scene is really important, because we’re seeing Levi choose Furlan’s dream over his own desire for revenge.  We see Levi place Furlan’s desires over his own, which is totally in line with how Levi is in the main AoT storyline.  He decides his revenge can wait, that it’s not as important as helping Furlan achieve his goals.  What’s particularly remarkable about this, I think, is that it doesn’t appear that Levi ever dreamed of going to the surface himself, and likely that he never even considered it a possibility.  So just like Levi fights, later on, for a world without fear and violence, for humanity’s salvation, even as all his life experiences tell him it likely isn’t possible, we see the Levi doing the same here, deciding to fight for his friend’s dream, even as to him, it seems unrealistic.  It’s obviously a pivotal moment too, when Levi tells him he’s going to trust him, because this ties in hugely with the theme which applies so much to Levi throughout the whole series, of never knowing if it’s better to rely on himself solely, to trust himself, or to trust and rely on his friends and their capabilities.  Levi chooses, here, to trust in his friends, and that will obviously have it’s own ramifications down the line.  Again, this is an area in which the manga improves radically over the visual novel, which had no instances whatsoever of Levi struggling with the question of the choices we make, which is absurd, since it’s one of the driving factors behind who Levi is, and how he ultimately came to see the world as he does.  It was precisely this struggle between choices, between trying to choose correctly, giving so much thought and effort to our choices, and still sometimes coming out wrong, that shaped Levi into being able to accept his lack of control and instead of regretting it, using it to keep fighting.  
Anyway, I’ll get to chapter 3 tomorrow.  
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cherripeach · 3 years
Text
Chapter 14
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Little Match Maker
Summary: Your life motto is “I have the power of god and anime on my side, don’t mess with me,” and you stand by that with your life. No human, magician, or random creature could ever stop your firm belief in it.
However, getting transported to this world that seemed to turn your already bad luck worse was not what you wanted to be in your life story, but you made the most of it. Making friends, enemies, and disasters, you were in your prime in this world, and so you decided to help as many people as you could flourish, at least what you believed to be.
Chapter 1:11-12 good credit, bad credit, you dead: ghost credit
Running to the store on campus, so cute.
Warnings: Curse words, implied violence
Words: 3.1k
Relationships: developing but future twstxreader
Ace groaned while face planting on the counter, “We finally finished peeling them all!”
Deuce moaned in pain, “My arms hurt…” He, then, stretched his arms and popped some of his knuckles while rolling his neck. 
You agreed with the two boys, “Yeah, I don’t wanna move for the next decade.” You made your seat on one of the stools next to the counter to take a break after standing for what felt like hours. 
Trey chuckled at your reactions, “Great work. I’m sure that your hard work will all be worth it.” While you three were sulking, Trey began cleaning up as much as possible by putting things away and putting things in the dishwasher. 
Grim grumbled, “I’m getting hungry just by the smell, yanno.” The cat had tried to take as much of the ingredients as possible while you were preparing, but barely managed to get any.
Trey took a sheet of paper out from a binder and sorted some of the ingredients next to some cooking utensils, “The marron base uses butter and sugar. And then, I also added some oyster sauce as a secret ingredient.”
Ace and Deuce jumped up from their positions of dread in shock, “Oyster sauce?!”
Trey placed the sheet down and grabbed a bottle of the sauce,  “Exactly. The savory flavor of the chestnuts gives the cream a rich flavor. And then, to make it better, I use this,” He motioned to the sauce in his hand,  “‘Walrus-brand young oyster sauce’.  There’s no famous pâtissière who doesn’t use this for their tarts, you know?” He ended it all with a closed eyed smile. 
Deuce mumbled, “Really…? It’s a pretty salty sauce, isn’t it?”
“You know how they put chocolate in curry, too?” Ace gave an example,  “It kinda makes sense…”
You were,  on the other hand, not having it, “Naw, dude. It doesn't; sweet can't just nullify salt or reverse. It’s practically impossible.” You shook your head while the two idiots were just pouting in their confusion. 
Trey chuckled while clutching his stomach, “You're right! I was just joking! There’s no way I’d put oyster sauce in a dessert, you know? How’d you know?”
The two idiots never would have guessed that. 
Ace’s hand’s shot up in his defense, pointing at his senior, “What the heck!? Are you making fun of us!?”
“It’s obviously impossible if you think about it a little.” Trey’s lighthearted giggle switched to a more wise old lecture, “The moral lesson here is that you shouldn’t believe anything you’re told. Learn to doubt a bit, okay?”
You nodded your head, “See, Ace. I don’t gotta learn that because I knew right away.” 
You were a genius. In all eyes besides Ace’s, that is. 
Ace snorted, “I bet it was a lucky guess.”
You fought back, “Pshhhh. No way.” You knew this was just the start of one of your many squabbles. 
Grim whispered to you behind his hand, “This guy looks nice, but he’s the type who can tell lies with no problem, huh…”  
“I guess so.” Your eyes widened at Grim’s statement. 
Trey rallied you all together to begin the next step, “Next is the fresh cream!”
A shrill scream ran through the air.
Ace bounced up and questioned Trey, “What’s wrong?”
You joined Ace with your question, “Are you okay?”
“I got carried away with the chestnuts you picked that I went overboard with making the marron base.” Trey laughed at himself and rubbed the back of his head, “We’re a little short on fresh cream.”
Deuce offered, “I’ll go buy some. Do they sell it in the school store?”
Trey explained,  “That shop sells pretty much anything, so I’m sure it should be there. Can I ask you to buy some other stuff while you’re at it? Two packs of milk, two cartons of eggs, silicon cups, and five canned fruits…” He writes down the list of items and hands them to Deuce. 
Deuce reads the list before commenting, “I don’t think I can carry all of that alone…” 
This was your chance, “I’ll come! I need to see if they have uniforms there, anyway.” Maybe you could find some uniforms or even some other clothes for a nice price as if you had any money. 
Grim interjected,  “I’m going, too! I don’t wanna mix more dough!” He raised his little paw as far as his body would allow it. 
“Understandable.”  You did not need to lose your arms over baking. 
The three of you began your walk to the grocery store on campus with only some light chatter about how excited you all were to taste the finished product and how Grim shouldn’t steal it all. 
The grocery store was the size of a drug store, but apparently from what Trey said it had everything anyone at this school needed. It’s gotta be a magic store.  
“We sure this is it?” You questioned Deuce because he was sure to know more than you, right?
Deuce pointed out, “I haven’t heard of any other shops here.” 
Grim quickly agreed, “Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s get a move on!”
While still warry, you approached the place behind the two overexcited shoppers, both who had stars in their eyes as someone from a novel would say. 
Deuce gazed around the place with wide eyes after opening the door where a little bell rang, “Pardon us! Whoa, what an amazing shop… Crystal skulls, magical texts, and… wh-what sort of animal is this…?” Deuce motioned to an animal’s skeleton that was just laying out on one of the shelves. Grim and Deuce took two steps closer to inspect the animal while you took two steps back. 
Grim, who began to travel by himself around the store, questioned Deuce and you, “Can we really find some fresh cream here?”
“I’d be surprised if we couldn't find it.” You opened a box that was filled with dusty books while nodding to Grim. 
Out of nowhere came a voice near the counter,  “Hey! Little lost lambs, what can I help you with? Welcome to Mr. S’s Mystery Shop.” The man had one of the oddest outfits with a bright pink shirt but then a black and dark purple jacket. His fashion sense was certainly new, but his vibe was what shocked you the most. Almost like he knew too much. What is it that you wish for today? A charm against cheating?” He pulled out a slip of paper from his chest pocket, “ An ancient king’s mirror?” a small mirror from his sleeve,  “Or maybe, some cursed tarot cards?” He even pulled a box out of thin air. 
Grim was frozen in shock for a moment and joined the conversation with a breath, “Ah, you startled me!”
You added on, “He reminds me of those characters from video games and movies that are just normal store owners or vendors that have some of the oddest items.” Looking at his shop, you believed yourself for a moment. 
The three of you made your way to the little counter at the back of the store. 
Deuce took out the list from his pocket and handed it to the man, “Um… We would like to buy the things written on this note.”
Grim used his arms to pull his face onto the counter as to be seen and begged,  “And I also want some canned tuna!”
“With what money?” You waved at him in disbelief,  “And I have a question for you, Mystery man.”
Deuce pushed Grim off of the counter,  “No! We will not buy any canned tuna!” which only caused Grim to growl at Deuce. 
The male scanned the note while tapping his finger in his chin,  “Mhmm. What do we have here? Fresh cream and eggs… Oh, my! What a pretty sweet line-up” He gave Deuce a thumbs up, “OK! I shall bring them out now. And I’ll get back to you in just a minute.” The male nodded at you with a small wink at the end of his sentence. 
Totally an odd vibe.
Deuce gasped in disbelief letting go of Grim’s fur,  “Whoa… Will he really have some here?”
You voiced your thoughts, “Maybe the back is just really big?”
The man returned with five bags full of items on your list, “Here, thank you for the wait. It is rather heavy, so are you sure you can carry them all?” The male, then gestured to a sign right next to the cash register about a special bag to carry all the items, “If you act now, I can throw in a special bag to carry all of those things for 30% off of its original price!” Deuce took out the money Trey gave him and handed it to the shopkeeper. 
Grim blurted out, “What did you say? Hey, that sounds interesting!” The cat grabbed your clothes as he normally does pointing at the sign to get your attention focused on it. 
Deuce shook his head while grabbing three of the five bags, “We. We will have to decline! Let’s go, Grim!”
“But why?! I wanna play more!” A pointing Grim was not resulting in a good day for anyone, but at this rate you couldn’t spend money on any food. 
“About that question,” You brought it up to the shopkeeper. 
The off-vibe man nodded,  “Ok, what's the problem, little lost lamb?”
You asked, “Do you sell uniforms or at least know where I can find one?”
“I should have some, but they're all used ones. I’ll even cut the price because of how damaged they are.” He then told you the price which was great for uniforms but as someone who owned no cash, not the best.
You thanked the male as you picked up the last two bags while the other two began to walk out, “Thanks! I’m gonna come back once I have the money, but please save them for me.” 
“Ok! of course, little lost lamb. I’ll have them in stock just for you.” He winked at you again, and at this point and time you’re just gonna assume it’s normal for him. 
“Thank you so much!!” You responded while finally walking out of the shop. 
Once outside, Deuce began a new conversation, “That was a very amazing shop, in a way…”
Grim was still pouting at the two of you for not giving him free food, “Boo, you two are so stingy.” His arms were snuggly crossed over one another and even his ears were flattened against his head. 
Deuce swung around to ask Grim, “Who are you calling stingy?!” This, however, almost resulted with Grim getting a concussion because of how the bag of canned fruits and heavy cream knocked Grim to the ground. 
Deuce quickly apologized, “Sorry!”
You placed your bag to check on Grim by feeling on his head for any bumps or any scrapes from the bag,  “Well, no one would give a brat what they want now would they? I know you want some tuna, but money is tight right now and I can’t get you any for a while. Once I save up enough, I promise I’ll get you some.” You brushed back his hair before flicking at his forehead, “Just remember to keep that ego in check. Soon, who knows, maybe I can even buy a hairbrush and maybe even a phone.”
 Deuce coughed before fixing the bags in his hold to reach his hand out to you, “The bag with the milks is heavy, isn’t it? I’ll hold it for you. I’m experienced with carrying heavy loads.”
You shook your head, “No way, lover boy, I can handle myself just so you know. And besides that's an odd area of expertise. Any reason why?” You kept walking to distract the male from taking your bag.
Deuce flushed red before starting his explanation, “Yeah, Mother always takes me with her during timed sales. She buys a lot, so I end up helping her with the bags. I’m the only man in the family, so I’m used to helping a lot with hard labor. Ah, I’m sorry… I keep talking about myself.” His face flushed even darker. 
You rolled your eyes, “That is incredibly sweet of you, Deuce. Don’t be scared to talk to me about anything. We’re friends. You must care for your mother a lot with how you talk about her.”
Deuce stuttered, “No… That’s not true at all. I… Mother was…” Deuce flies back onto the ground after connecting with someone’s chest, “Ouch!”
All of the materials that Deuce was holding fell to the ground, but the biggest problem was that the eggs were now completely broken and leaking everywhere on the sidewalk. 
Grim gasped and fell to his knees to try and save the groceries, “Ah, the eggs!!”
“Hey, you ok?” You reached out your hand to Deuce who grabbed it so that you could pull him up onto both of his feet. 
Deuce locked eyes on the bag of now broken eggs and cursed, “Damn it!” He picked up the bag of eggs and began to check to see if any of the eggs were not broken and could be used, “All the eggs in the carton broke! The plastic bag’s now reeking with eggs…!” Deuce tossed them in the trash while Grim squirmed to grab the bag from him. 
A white haired familiar looking male scoffed at the three of you, “That hurt! Where the hell’re ya lookin’ at,” His eyes darted to each member of your little group before continuing, “Wha? You’re the guys who ruined my carbonara’s soft-boiled egg during lunch today!” 
Another familiar red haired student was right on his side, “Damn, it’s you guys again. Ya better give us a break.” 
You grabbed as many bags as you could carry that Deuce had before, and you snorted, “And I thought I already crushed your egos, but I should have known you can't break a brick for a brain.”
The white haired boy snickered at the three of you, “Well it seems the little supervisor can’t even get us in trouble so no need for fear. You can’t harm us.” 
Deuce had been standing in place for the last couple of seconds with his eyes on his feet, “…Aren’t you the ones at fault for bumping into me?” His sharp gaze met that of the duo of delinquents, “Even during lunch. The egg wasn’t really that badly harmed, but you made a huge scene out of it. Our carton of eggs is totally ruined, though.” Deuce rolled up the sleeves to his jacket. 
Grim agreed standing as tall as he could across from the two upperclassmen, “He’s totally right!”
You walked over to where Deuce and Grim had made their little fighting stance, “Let’s just leave. They’re not gonna listen and we shouldn't get into a fight with idiots.” To further get Deuce’s attention, you pulled into the shoulder of his jacket to motion toward the bags, “We can always replace them. Let’s just get what we have back.”
The white haired boy swore, “The hell? You sayin’ it’s my fault, then? And idiots? I’m much smarter than any of you. Respect your elders!”
Deuce paid no mind to you or your constant poking on his shoulder, “Yes, please pay us back for the eggs. And also, please apologize to the chickens.”
“Hah?” The red haired boy quipped at Deuce, “Makin’ a ruckus over eggs, are we?”
Deuce grunts, “Hah?” before turning to you, “Remember the promise right?”
You nodded at him. 
“Then, back up.” He lightly pushed you to make you back up, “And don’t get involved.”  You locked eyes with the male only to see his eyebrows furrowed and a large scowl on your face. And as much as you wanted to help him and get him out of this situation, there’s nothing you can do against magic users. At least not yet.
The two other students did not realize how ready Deuce was to make this physical or how personal this was. 
The whit haired boy groaned, “It didn’t hit the ground so you can still eat it. Stop makin’ a fuss over little things.” The boy slapped his friend before whispering something to him. 
The other boy snickered before adding, “Ya better be thankful they broke inside the plastic bag!” 
“Not only are they dumb, but blind too,” You mumbled to yourself which Grim could hear from his small chortle. 
Deuce still had not lost his eye contact with the other two boys, seemingly eyeing them down to wait for the perfect moment. 
Both of the boys let out the largest giggles possible that a teenage boy could without sounding like girls gossiping with their heads thrown back and their hands clutching their stomachs. 
“Laughing at something that is surely your fault.” You rolled your eyes while trying to get the boy’s attention on Deuce who was in your eyes about to murder a bitch, “I think you should just pay us back for it. Maybe some extra too for having to deal with your terrible attitude to even it out.” 
Neither student responded to you only grunting out stiffles of laughter for the next couple of seconds. 
Deuce muttered to himself breaking eye contact with the two to gaze down at his hand which was clenched like in one of those TV shows when a character is going to do something he regrets, “... Mess with me, will you…”
White haired kid raises his eyebrows in confusion as Deuce looks to be slowly going insane,  “Huh?”
Deuce exploded at the two, “I told you to stop laughing, damn it!!” His feet began to move closer and closer to the two who just stood in horror for the boy who was once silent, “You ain’t got no choice but to apologize for something that’s your fault! These eggs will be used to make a delicious tart in place of turning into chicks, bastard!! Do you understand me, huh!?”
“Wh-what’s with him all of a sudden…?!” The red haired boy was backing away from the approaching student and had a look of disbelief on his face. 
Deuce grabbed his fist in one hand and cracked the knuckles of the other one, “If you’re not gonna pay me back for the 6 eggs, I got no choice but to beat the hell out of you six times.”
The white haired male faltered, “Huh!?” before seeing the blue haired male coming straight for him with his fists in a fighting position. 
 “Grit your teeth, you little bastards!!” And with that Deuce began his little fight by pulling at the kid’s clothes and punching them a little too hard.
“Where does that phrase even come from?” But what could you do besides stand there and wait even if you didn’t want the two to get hurt going into the fight now would be harmful.
You really need to stop getting involved in fights. 
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dallonm-archive · 3 years
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[image description: a cropped image of a pink sky. on the right hand side is a bunch of darker pink clouds. Just left of the centre is a full moon. In the centre, in a white serif font reads "writing update" /end id]
july writing update
Hi friends! This writing update is me pretending I did Camp Nano and didn't kinda give up a week in! I had a proper goal and everything, but a lot of things got in the way that I'm not gonna talk about here because I already ranted about it in another update I'm drafting rn. Lets just say it's Disability Pride Month and being not neurotypical or able bodied in writing communities and their inherent focus on productivity is Hard.
But I did get some writing done and wanted to do a little Camp wrap up post regardless. And I'm doing it now because I'm cancelling the last week of July for some rest/self care and I do not want to think about writing for that time and if I write a tumblr post about July Nano being over my brain will think it's actually over <3 I will probably do updates like these for most months tho! Depends on how much I write lol! This one is not too long (by my standards) and has some Revelations, Revelations, Life Cycle of Massive Stars, Nocturne for the Holy and a new wip idea 👁️
excerpts under the cut!
general taglist ; ask to be + or - ; i only have one! ; @childhoodlovers @svpphicwrites @abiandwriting @kowlazovdi @avi-why @ryns-ramblings @kitblogsthings @bijouxs @bookphobe @moonhungers @alicewestwater @bookpacking @shaelinwrites @onlyganymede @theelectricfactory @write-like-babs @oceancold @sidhewrites @wolf-oak @oasis-of-you @coffeeandcalligraphy @cecilsstorycorner @howdywrites @keira-is-writing @flip-phones @piyawrites @avakrahn @goose-books @finch-goes-write @ziyin @aphaimaniis @isherwoodj @laughtracksonata
I'm also editing this in to say I only just realised that July is my writeblr birthday month and that is very weird to me! A year and a couple days ago I impulsively turned an old blog into a place to document writing for me and ended up meeting people who now mean the world to me and my writing blossoming in a way I never thought it would. And the funny part is it doesn't feel like it's been a year, ever since I joined it's just felt like life has Always been this way and I cannot fathom that it hasn't. I'm sappy bc it's 4am lol but ultimately the friends I made (you know who you are) and the community I found is what retaught me the value of writing and helped me unlearn toxic ideas and whilst the last year was tough I wish I could tell July 2020 Dallon (who did not realise he was Dallon yet </3) what July 2021 would look like.
revelations, revelations ;
Oh the absolute state of affairs with this book rn. Nothing bad but I don't know when I'm gonna update y'all because sometimes I do not know where to start when talking about this wip lol! Currently on a break with it (but also my thesis work is on late 20th century queer lit/history rn so am ever really free of RR? <3) but had a lot of fun with it at the end of June/start of July. Anyway here's Dorothy finally revealing more of herself to me after a year. Dorothy as a character is like, I truly believe she is capable of killing a man but the story she is in just does not allow that so I am trying to grow her unhinged side a little bit in other ways bc I know she has it in her but I also really cannot deal with the plot repercussions of her actually killing a man! I'm sorry Dotty but this'll have to do!
(cw for groping/a man being creepy as hell, death/funeral mention, drug mention, drowning imagery kinda)
There’s too much to tell Felix. That his sister lives on the fringe of Castro and has attended three funerals since September; that it’s January 11th and she’s already attended one this year. That his sister drives through sunsets and imagines parties: the amber dusk, warm mosaic tiles, platters of Greek salad skewers and shrimp tostadas, and sometimes Jolie joins her and they share a blunt on the hill. That his sister bought an aquamarine body-length dress for six bucks in a thrift store sale bin, so when her and Jolie broke up for the second time, she waltzed into a sunset party, locked arms with a CEO’s son and gave him a fake number and plucked strawberries out of champagne and blended so well nobody noticed when she left. That during the summer of ’83, his sister walked a neighbour’s Golden Retriever on Wednesdays, and on the sixth Wednesday he gave her a wad of tens with one hand and palmed the back of her neck with the other, so she walked his dog to the beach and stole another hundred from his wallet. That his sister bombed an interview for a Nursing school and didn’t get home until night and missed their monthly call, and Jolie heard the phone ring and didn’t take a message, so his sister snuck into the CEO’s son’s villa and floated in the centre of their heated pool like a cloud. A pause, a breath, an Opheliean threat.
life cycle of massive stars ;
Switched to LCOMS this month because I was burnt out with RR and it made such the difference! I really love working on two novels at once because it keeps me consistently creative but also both of these books are so different so its always refreshing to bounce back into one from another. I have a whole update in the drafts rn for this so keeping this part brief but still love this book, still the best thing that has ever happened to me, me and this book will have a glorious summer wedding etc etc. These excerpts are from chapters that summarise the first semester of each character's first year and have to say it. has been Very Fun to get into the mindset of Freshers Melodrama. Here's Junie having a crisis and an unhealthy relationship with her hetero flatmate :( (alcohol cw for both excerpts)
In October you are drinking double espresso and trying to breathe normally in lectures and you are trying to figure out your favourite colour because Fleur asked and you stumbled out an answer (Purple, I think. Violet? Lavender? Indigo?) and it didn’t match hers (I like yellow. I like sunlight). You buy mugs from IKEA to paint you paint cats and fireworks and constellations and moon phases and daisies. You try to scratch paint stains off your desk. You do laundry at 2am. In October you colour code your notes with pastel highlighters. You go to the library at 3am. You paint your nails sunlight and hate it. You finish an essay that’s due in December. You knock on Fleur’s door at 8am so she makes her 9am. You wear off the shoulder tops and you let a girl dab glitter on your collarbones and you are watching Fleur kiss a boy from the neighbouring hall. You bite your sunlight nails. You break the handle off your IKEA constellation mug. You leave your keys in a lecture hall and stand at the reception for forty minutes waiting for them to realise that the keys on the desk have the moon chain you mentioned - or, you are waiting to say it yourself. You are watching the rain trail down your window. In October you get a halo headband tangled in your hair you are sipping a vampire themed cocktail that tastes like acetone you rip your heels off and you go home early and do laundry at 2am and you are waiting for the courage to tell Fleur you don’t like clubbing - or, you are waiting for her to ask where you are. In October you are many things / a good student a dancer a painter an angel a big sister an alarm clock you are nocturnal and a lucid dreamer and confused about your sexuality / and it’s still October but it’s not because it’s November now and you are still Junie but not because you don’t know who Junie is. It’s November, it’s September October November December. It’s 2016 2017 2018 2019. You are fragments and you don’t know if you are a kaleidoscope or shattered glass.
And here's first year Tomas being like I Moved Countries For University And All I Got Was Homesickness And A Crush On My Flatmate And Resurging Autistic Symptoms And This Lousy T Shirt (cw: vomit mention, injection mention, parental death mention)
Kristen is seven months younger and five inches taller than you. He’s the last flatmate you met and the only one you talk to beyond kitchen greetings and passive aggressive texts about dirty dishes. He is too quiet and too loud and not the type of person you befriend. The first night, he lost Ring of Fire and downed the concoction of Echo Falls, Dark Fruits, Jack Daniels and coke, vodka and lemonade alongside a cigarette and said he’d let God figure out the rest. He held your hair back when you threw up amaretto and held onto your knee when you first self-injected testosterone. He taught you Yorkshire dialect and you pretended to understand the Yorkshire dialect. He told you he got diagnosed at four and you told him you didn’t get past the first assessment but sometimes you flick the bathroom light on and it’s fire: the orange on the orange towel is louder, the white on the white tiles are louder, the colours and light and sink and showerhead are prickly and all you can do is blink and breathe until it fizzles out. You reminded him to take his meds and asked if you were weak for wanting to drop out and hop on the first Eurostar to Rotterdam. He reminded you to take off your binder and asked if he was robotic for not grieving his mother. You spent inky nights on the kitchen floor, counting the dead flies in the lights and scooping crumbly coconut ice cream out of a maker you got for half price in TK Maxx. You spent dusk-dusted afternoons at the global street food markets, at the vegan markets. Spent student loans on raspberry lemonade in recycled cups, veggie burgers in beetroot buns, got him hooked on poffertjes and advocaat and could’ve cried when the vendor spoke to you in Dutch. Sometimes you didn’t buy anything. Just liked hovering at stalls ambered with fairy lights, writing down Etsy stores on your notes app; just liked Kristen’s impulse to trek forty minutes into the city for a market he didn’t know existed until five minutes before; just liked how he always invited only you, cancelling your other plans last minute, the feeling of being ambushed; just liked how he stopped to take photos of dogs and the sunset; just liked how he looked haloed under lampposts waiting for Ubers, golden on golden.
This is also nearing creative nonfiction because Sheffield truly is a haven for just. vegan markets and cafes lol! I experimented with veganism there and never struggled to find something and at this point I call myself a fake vegan because it's too easy to be vegan in Sheffield and too difficult to be vegan in my actual hometown. And the global street food markets!!! SO GOOD! I miss pre pandemic days
nocturne for the holy ;
Giving her a little shout out because she does exist actually! I've figured out a really good system for working on two novels at a time, so my plan is maybe to start properly on this after I finish either RR or LCOMS. Idk I got 3 novels to pick from haha oops! I did do some free drafting back in April though and found it recently and I Like It! And I edited it so it counts as Something I Did This Month :) Also have decided that I loathe this working title <3 Okay see you with an update for this novel in like a year, sorry for the absolute zero context for this excerpt hehe
The morning I was due back, I hadn’t yet decided that this would be my last visit. I wandered between rooms like an overstayed guest, like I didn’t know which crockery lived in which cabinet and which bedroom had the best view of the overlapped hills. Dad would wake for his run in an hour, plastered to his twenty-year-old routine. Mum would pretend to be asleep until breakfast. Until then, it was myself and the house, hazed by sleepy sunrise. Downstairs. The peeling paisley wallpaper in the lounge, the lilies in the middle of the kitchen table, the vases of candy floss pink peonies wilting on every windowsill, the desolate double swing-set in the garden. The mist-clogged mornings. I stood outside in my dressing-gown until my fingertips felt numb. Upstairs. The sage coloured bathroom. The bathtub I’d laze in with my clothes on and no water because it was the quietest room in the house. The dusty dance trophies on the top of my wardrobe. Wine-flushed Jeanette in my teenage bedroom. The stale grey mum painted my teenage bedroom after I moved out. Minus their room, I stalked the layout of the house three times before settling back into bed - teenage Nora’s bed. Nora who cared for peonies and pushed her brother on the swing set and flung her ceramic ballerina at the wall and jogged with her father and collected wine bottles and acorns and kisses from girls who were supposed to visit for dance practice. Before I left, I’d have cycled each room another three times. And in every room he was there, hovered in the corner like black mould.
love this update bc it's like i've got my third person, my second person, my first person! collecting all the POVs like chaos emeralds :)
eulogy for our burnings ;
-looks away-
girl help I did it AGAIN!!!! Apparently Camp Nano is just the perfect time for me to get novel ideas. I made this post specifically to talk a bit about this because I have no idea when I'll draft it but it's certainly not soon. This is not me trying to doubt my own skill but I feel like I am not in the place I'd like to be as a writer to tackle this project with the zest it needs, however I am v excited by the prospect of it! Don't know how I feel about the working title bc I'm like "that doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about this wip to dispute it" but the only purpose my working titles serve is to sound pretty lol! But here's the tea:
1991, UK.
2nd person present + past. Very flexible form. I can't decipher how yet but I'm feeling interviews, newspaper articles, receipts, grocery store lists weaved with actual narrative, that kinda vibe.
Best summary is we follow our nameless narrator, a stealth trans man, as he becomes unhealthily obsessed with a man who "hires" him to photograph the buildings he burns
Very,,, isolated? Minimal settings, minimal characters, minimal prose etc. Almost claustrophobic
There's basically only two characters and they are probably the most morally deplorable, indefensible characters I've created which just means most of you are gonna LOVE this /lh I do too I do too
Only comp title I can give is it has the vibes/tone of Boy Parts by Eliza Clark (just with none of the nsfw content lol if you've read the book you know what I'm talking about) (also that book is great for morally deplorable women protagonists but omg look up the content warnings because it caught me off guard! enjoyed it tho gave it 4 stars)
The pinterest board is the best visualisation of the Vibes also follow me on pinterest lol
And that's all I've got today! A bigger Life Cycle of Massive Stars update coming in the next few weeks. Might do a proper intro post for Eulogy For Our Burnings but idk!!! It's a surprise :) Thank you for reading this far!
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