#that hit me way too fucking hard

[coern-art-very-cool-and-nice]

sekai au 👊😔

#my post #hatsune loopku..... #isat #in stars and time #isat siffrin #isat loop #I was SUPPOSED to make a modern au but look. where that got me #prpject sekai..... #hsatsune miku...... #woaw......... #I haven't planned this yet. I just wanted to draw loop with Miku's pigtails really badly because I came up with the shape idea and went lik #ogguuguuuuGUG #oh bell yeas #actually well I have a little #small group of college students who met via tutor group (by odile) that turned into a book club and maybe band? #they would all suck playing instruments honestly #I made it a sekai au because I needed loop to go SOMEWHERE and went insane trying to figure something out till I finally went fuck whatever #fine #siffrin made a sekai and loop is there. fine. whatever. fine. yeah. fine #I don't know how the timeloop will come in. #I cant have both a timeloop and a sekai at once. #I would forget the other exists #and focus all on one #or it would be too much at once #also its kind of hard to do a timeloop like the one in-game in a modern way? #there's no good rocks to be crushed by that aren't like a collapsing building anyway #OH OH also this might be the last project sekai related art you see for a WHILE #this game hit my brain worse than project sekai I'm so serious #I've burned through almost all of my sketchbook and there are three(3) drawings that aren't siffrin #THREE.

[astranauticus]

stultifera navis rerun AKA thinking about Iberia hours again because a lot of the Iberians have such fascinating relationships with the concept of home but specifically Thorns and Lumen are eating at my brain. like where do you call home when the place that is your home Just Fucking Hates You? Elysium's rewinding breeze specifically makes a point to hammers home how differently Iberia treats its Liberi and its Aegir

(which is especially interesting since this comes right after a conversation where Purestream commented on how despite Leizi being a high ranking government official, there are still some experiences that are universal for all Yanese people - because the experience of what Iberia itself is like isnt universal for all Iberians)

But all that being said, Thorns also straight up states that Aegir is not his home, and yeah, how could it be? How could a place you've never been to, never truly known, ever be your home? How could it ever feel like a home?

so where do you go when the place that you are from hates your people and the place your people are from is completely unfamiliar and alien to you? Thorns' answer at the end of the conversation with Aya is: my home is where i chose it to be. my home is where there are people I care about and people who care about me

in the complete opposite direction, Lumen's oprec asks: why do you still stay in a place that wants you gone? because the people of Gran Faro like Jordi well enough but when push comes to shove, they will want the only Aegir in town gone

and yet, when Rald the messenger offers him a chance to leave Jordi turns him down and when he's forced to escape Gran Faro after the people there literally try to send him to his death (or worse) at the hands of the Inquisitors he keeps trying to go back because like everyone in stultifera navis, Jordi is clinging to his own dreams of a golden age

but the shape of that dream is unique to every character and for Jordi, his dreams are deeply, inseparably bound to the Eye of Iberia, the legacy his parents left behind

and it's this dream of becoming someone great, of bringing about that golden age that his parents devoted their lives to help create that ties Jordi to this nothing town because despite everything, despite the mistrust of the townsfolk and the hostility of the Inquisition and the danger from the ocean, he simply cannot leave it behind

(or, because i personally dislike the official translation,)

"I just see this place as my home"

so yeah. not sure what overall point i was trying to make here i'm just. deeply in love with these stories about chosing what is and isn't your home, of saying you will not call a place your home because it has given you no reason to or saying you consider a place your home even though it has given you every reason not to. deeply unwell about them <3

#arknights #asto speaks #not much of an essay writer i just keep thinking about them and i need to force other people to think about them too #thorns story fucks me up bc like. this whole almost found family adjacent idea of like #maybe home isnt something decided by your birth but something you can chose based on what truly matters to you #it just gets to me. i guess. #jordi gets to me in a completely different direction there's nothing personal about it i just find his story *fascinating* #just a guy. a completely normal guy. an absolute nobody caught up in these dreams of greatness while also fully aware of his own normalcy #but never letting either of those overshadow the other. never losing that self awareness or that fuckin obsessive determination #god. what a Character #i love jordi so much like genuinely #i joke a lot about him being just a Guy but thats also kinda like the best thing about him #the fact that he is the way that he is and does all the things he does despite being just a Guy #gently holds #for context i was so hyped about new iberia lore when sn was announced i read the whole thing as soon as it dropped on cn server #cuz someone uploaded all the story sections to bilibili right after it came out #and '我只是把这里当作自己的故乡啊' fucking hit me SO HARD #in like the greater context of elysium demanding to know why hes risking his life in like 5 different ways to return to gran faro #because yeah jordi just doesnt want to leave his home but like we the audience knows the full *weight* of what that home means to him #and the weight of the dreams that made him chose to see Gran Faro as his home and to refuse to let go of that #thats why i like the original a lot more than the translation i think like it really emphasises that active *choice*. #this is the place jordi has *decided* to see as his home and he knows what that means and what it means to him #side note the part on thorns might not actually age well depending on whether hg decides to ever release more aulus lore #i mean i'll gladly take the L if it means more aulus and/or thorns lore like #i just wanna know what (if anything) is tying him to iberia yknow #ak #iberiaposting

[dennisboobs]

.

#absolutely do not want to argue because i get where the post is coming from with but im gonna give some thots #re: dennis autism!!!! ok!!!!! #ive talked about it before but there is WAY more to him being autistic than just the buzzer noises. when i first watched that i was like #is THIS really why people hc him as autistic. :/ and i get it! i do! i think he has misophonia inherited from glenn personally #its actually why i captioned the noise sensitive den gifsets as that rather than just. autism. #but personally i see his scripted social interactions and i go. yeah. me. me fuckin too. #and his outbursts. which are VERY personally relatable to me #i have uh. basically the same triggers? very similar triggers at least #i think dennis' neurodivergency presents itself differently because of his upbringing and thats why a lot of ppl go ???? when you say. #'yea i think den's autistic actually' #and like i said i was absolutely like. what the hell are people talking about. he's not autistic #but uh. on rewatches? hm. #dennis quite literally masks almost 24/7 #charlie has no qualms about being perceived as like. weird. but dennis masks SO hard. SSSSSSOOOOO hard #i once saw a post like. charlie has boy autism and dennis has girl autism which honestly fucking hate that but its... kiiiind of true #ASD presents itself differently in adults depending on early social conditioning #mac fights gay marriage. group dates. new wheels. dee day. celebrity booze. all the big ones. all the hits. #look how he acts when he goes off script and is forced to speak off the cuff #the way glenn describes him as being very emotional but unable to adequately express his emotions too like. yeah. same. #theres so much more than the noise sensitivity #i could go on and on about how many fucking boxes he ticks but i honestly hate that shit. i know how autism works and that bitch is autisti #im going to refrain from commenting on the reasons why i feel charlie is more acceptably hced as autistic vs dennis because mmmmm but #dennis being 'hypersexual' (not about the sex. at all) and socially adept (has scripts/systems. charlie is more emotionally intelligent) #smells a lil stinky. smells a little bit like infantilization on charlie's part. #ada speaks #ok ill spare you guys. someday ill write a proper meta on this. ive talked about it before but.

[designernishiki]

#no one’s gonna pick date but god that’d be a funny option #he’d be supportive but also would be so caught off guard and so uneducated on the topic he’d say just. the stupidest shit #and you KNOW kiryu would just say it out of the fucking blue. date would probably drop a glass or something behind the counter. whiplash #anyway honestly it’s always been hard for me to pick between haruka and daigo- haruka obviously is the number one most important person to #him and if he’s gonna be that vulnerable with anyone it’s most likely gonna be her #HOWEVER. if he (miraculously) picked up on daigo never having an interest in women and having at least one close male companion that was a #liiiiitttttle too close to be Just a companion #then daigo has an advantage because. i mean. it’d guarantee the person he’d admitting this too wouldn’t judge him for it #and would have- amusingly enough- more experience in the area than kiryu himself thus the possibility for advice/reassurance #which is such an interesting conceptual conversation that I started writing it. maybe one day I’ll finish it………. #I think the only way he’d come out ti majima first would be completely on accident / incidentally #like. getting drunk with him and laughing about whatever havin a good time and after a waitress or whoever hits on kiryu majima says like #‘you know- I’ve known you for like 30 years and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you return the favor when a gal flirts with ya- so what kinda #gals ARE you into–‘ ‘I don’t think I’ve ever really been into any women. ………. ah.’ #anyway that’s just one thought #anyway have fun with this #kiryu #kazuma kiryu #yakuza #rambling #polls

[hongjoongpresent]

the entire essay I could write about the background vocals in terrible man. you don't understand

#onlyoneof #why do you think that first beat drop at the first chorus hits so hard. dude #that's the only spot in the song that I can find where the background vocals completely disappear #also the chorus is the only part of the song where the beat is completely clear and not muddy #there are 2 other spots in the verses that has a bit of the chorus beat too but it's not *as* clear as in the chorus #god when that motto motto tsunaide mou uso demo ii kara furetete HITS. it hits #this song is so insanely good and for no fucking reason I could write an essay about it. maybe I should #the intro has that . instrument that I can't name in it and then the verse has that too but with the beat from the chorus #and then the prechorus is all wahhhwoohohhf floaty. it's floaty airy breathy no clear beat #AND THEN THE. CHORUS HITS and man. uifkvfjvnfjjvjfjvbvfj yeah #also the way rie sings mimi kara karada kills me every time. unrelated to the discussion around instrumentals but #THE BACKGROUND VOCALS IN THE 2ND CHORUS BTW #the woaaahhh that continues into wooohooohh in the chorus... #the ohoohhh ohooooh #dude? listen to hidoi otoko by onlyoneof. that's what I'm saying here #really listen #put it on repeat all day and notice every little instrumental and background vocal detail in it. maybe then you'll be normal #cuz I sure am. so normal and regular about this song #GOD it's so good #sorry if you don't get it. I'm right #the only crime this song commits is being too short #the ohh woahh in the first prechorus. that part is different in the korean version of the song and that one little part is why I prefer the #japanese version of the song. literally just one woahh background vocal is what makes me heavily favor this version. lol #me when I'm so normal about my favorite background vocal parts of a song. is that even a thing it is now. it is to me

[diabratz]

belphie is real fuckin cute for someone who choked the absolute fuck out of me for fun

#i wanna take one of those big ass cartoon wooden hammers n hit him HARD ASF over the head with it #so he drops items like a fucking video game character #he drops like two pillows n an oversized hoodie LMFAOOOOOOOO #honestly his design……. genius #but also i need to fuck him up for healing purposes #i’ve literally never seen a character get so much development in the span of five fucking seconds #he went from ‘fuck mc and all humans’ to ‘mc can we cuddle 😞👉🏼👈🏼’ in like three secs #the way i hated him for a bit after that #like baby we not gonna zoom past u killing me !!!!!! my body was right there on the floor ?!!!!??????? #talking abt some ‘bae i changed bae 😫😫’ #get the FUCK outta my face with that BULLSHIT #and yk what he’s still more tolerable than levi to me 🤭 #yeah he may have killed me but is he on some ‘im just some weirdo loser otaku’ bullshit ???? no #actually 🤭 belphie needa move over i’m bouta nap too on MEEEEEEEE #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me belphegor #obey me mammon #obey me lucifer #obey me barbatos #obey me #obey me leviathan #obey me x mc #i love blowing up the tags fr #idc 🤪

[dollsuguru]

writing fluff is so hard esp for a character you haven’t written for before + other characters in the fic 😭

#satoru i’m abt to get real acquainted w you in this fic #so far it just all sounds v corny and not at all like how satoru sounds so i need to rework everything #also it’s so hard to segue into another part of the fic or just another paragraph for me so i need to practice FLOW #and NOT make it choppy/clunky #and i also have to find voices for tsumiki & megumi 😭 miki’s is pretty easy she’s sweet & playfully teasing #wanna make megs adorable yet slightly grumpy bc i know he’s mature but i still want a childish vibe for him hmmmm #i’m actually… SURPRISNGLY. having a LOT of trouble w the ‘reader’ themselves #i just can’t seem to find their dynamic w each character yet… hmmmmmm #y’know what i may have to do… keep the beginning part but scrap everything else and start fresh #sighhhhhhhh. #i’m willing to do that though bc this story so far isn’t hitting the way i want it to #and i love the Premise of the fic a lot and want to do it TOTAL justice #like it’s serious business to me 😭 i don’t play around when it comes to this omfg like i HAVE FUN but i want it to be decently written too #gonna need to insert more personality to each character + their DIALOGUE TOO omg dialogue is so fucking hard & speech tags are so blegh #i actually might dream on it tonight and imagine how it would realistically play out in my head and then go back to fic writing #yeah i’ll do that it’s 9:30 pm rn basically so i’ll just dream on it 😭 #personal

[legionofpotatoes]

been playing bits and pieces of horizon forbidden west! game's pretty as hell

#horizon forbidden west #photo mode #my edits #yannow. it got me thinking too. the npc fidelity in this game is off the fucking shits. never seen anything like it #even ​secondary dialogues are leaving all the competition in the dust. it's an insane level of work #major burnout red flags for sure. but also maybe talking about engines as specialized tools instead of ubiquitous ones isn;t so bad? #i mean there's definitely trends. ramming down RPGs down frostbite's throat has never worked well #while decima is tearing up the open worlds and tech fidelity quotas like nbd even on prev gen #is it really about implementation at this point #maybe some engines just. work best for certain types of hard goals. and choosing that right is what matters #i pkayed this after ragnarok and that game looks embarassing next to hfw. and I'm not even saying it flippantly. I stand by what i've said #shorter games less scope lower fidelity etc. for healthier dev teams. but this can be a scalability tell tale? maybe using something #like decima can mean an easier time for a standard EA dev cycle *without* hitting these insane fidelity goals. just thinking out loud #cause forever salty about frostbite. probably wrong but hey! I am on a blogging website famous for its phobia of deeper contexts #or maybe playing as aloy gave me that stupid self confidence juice #the way she bulldozes into delicate foreign policies with nothing but her ego and hutzpah really proves that whiteness is alive and well #in whatever variant of post-post-apocalypse this story is set into. they better interrogate her issues cause otherwise this plot will like #fizzle out under the weight of her self-righteousness lmao

[fireworkss-exe]

call me a stereotypical annoying teenage girl all you want but titanic (1997) had me absolutely transfixed when I first watched it

#shockingly enough I didn't cry when jack died but I DID tear up at the scene #of the mother in third class telling her children a bedtime story one last time so they can sleep peacefully instead of being afraid #god. and the orchestra??? it's been a pleasure playing with you tonight gentlemen or whatever the line was #fuck. that hit me way too hard #also the set and costume design are BRILLIANT and cathy bates as molly brown SERVED #tbh if I was having a love affair with young twinky leo dicaprio and he died in front of me it'd take WAY more than 84 years #for me to get over it #I'll quit yapping now

[betelgeusing]

marty hart's cyclical return to praising family as THE thing that keeps a man grounded, stable, and happy (specifically in pointing out that rust DOESN'T have a family) even as flashbacks show him spiraling into jealous macho violence as he lies to, mistreats, and destroys his family over the course of multiple affairs (by which he deliberately steps outside of and away from his family despite his wife's best efforts to get him to reconnect and step up to be the family man he sees himself as)

vs

rust cohle's repeated excoriations of the idea of individuality and personhood and the stupid self-centeredness and entitlement that comes with saying "I, a human being, matter to the universe, and the things I do matter", an ideology he carries for years and waxes poetic on for his interviewers as late as 2012, even as he obsessively works himself to the bone to get justice and resolution for the victims he's assigned and ultimately to protect children from the powerful and dangerous people who want to brutalize them

#true detective #so what if it all goes back to Melville and Milch. every great character spins against the way he drives #I know this is the point of their characters I know other people have said it before and better #but I go through it every time and this time Marty is hitting me extra hard. bc with Rust it's basically screaming in your face #Rust says humanity (without exception) is stupid selfish and vain and we're fools to convince ourself our actions matter #he then proceeds to take a job where everything he does matters SO MUCH. and to CARE about that job deeply and obsessively #but Marty... I've really noticed this time how Maggie calls him a coward multiple times in her efforts to pull him back to his family #and she's right because he's too much of a coward to face that gaining the sainted ''family'' hasn't fixed him! #it hasn't made him stop wanting to fuck other women #it hasn't made him the household hero the perfect father and husband the savior of the women in his life #he thought it would and when it doesn't live up to the fantasy he checks out completely #and even in 2012 when his marriage has fallen apart! he still lauds marriage and family as the thing that makes a man good! #despite all the evidence in front of him that he became WORSE after becoming a husband and father. he can't let the ideal go #he has good intentions at his core but he's obsessed with the idea of being a good ol boy and a family man #he shits on Rust for being isolated because he's scared to face the idea that he-- Marty-- would have done less damage on his own #sorry for the tag novel they make me want to bite. and knock their stupid empty heads together really hard #btw this show would be 75% less effective if they had not filmed on location. big brain move thank God for the TD S1 location scouts

[orcgirlcock]

i need to kiss someone right now. i need to hold their face as i lean in for the kiss. i need to feel their lips against mine and have our tongues slide across each other. i need to feel the slight hesitation before they finally give in and kiss me back with everything they've got. i need to feel the saliva stringing between our mouths. i need to feel their hands pulling me closer, desperate to feel all of me

#i just woke up from a dream where one of my friends wanted to kiss me but was too shy about it #but i could tell they wanted it so i gently rubbed their face and leaned in most of the way #and let them close the distance. they were still nervous until i slipped my tongue into their mouth #in which case all worry left their head and they kissed me back proper #and it was everything I've ever wanted in a kiss. but now im awake completely unkissed #I'm tired of getting teased by my dreams like that.. #i get stuck with all this vivid passionate imagery and no fucking outlet #i feel so pathetic yearning this hard but all my peers have had their first kisses #friends that i wanted to kiss going and kissing eachother in front of me just for the hell of it #the girlfriend i dated for longest refused to kiss me. i got like. maybe 2 cheek kisses? never once on the lips #even when i asked she would say no. i dont resent her for it but Man did it hurt #the closest I've ever gotten was one of my friends shotgunning me hits from his bong #every time my heart flutters and i want to kiss him for real #ive just been searching for someone to kiss me for a very long time #and ive just never found them...

[astranauticus]

ok i like rushed through the whole orv webtoon way too fast so now i have thoughts going in like 5 different directions but ep121-123 drive me so fucking insane actually. every time i think about those two conversations i have to sit down

#orv #orv liveblog #like i feel like depictions of childhood abuse in fiction tend to depiction the relationship as some version of #'the one evil violent parent and the one good parent trying their best (it wasnt good enough)' #see: the twins parents from lc s2 is the obvious one but also like #going back to my roots lol but enji and rei todoroki? or hell even fire lord ozai and ursa #yknow theres this idea of like theres the one who was trying! and the one who fucked it all up #well yeah rei's the one who scarred her sons face but thats so obviously framed as like a trauma response outside of her control #like its not something youre reeaally meant to blame her for yknow #the WHOLE idea with kim dokja's conversation with yoo sangah is whether he's supposed to blame/forgive lee sookyung #wait ok those conversations drive me so insane like im feeling the alevel literature urge to fuckin close read quotes #that one line where he thinks like this is the vilest form of violence he can use against sangah goes by SO fast but it hit me SO hard #the idea of asking her to put herself in this nightmare situation she has no frame of reference for understanding or empathising with #and then asking her as someone who she rly cares about! to be the judge in this situation she cannot possibly fully grasp #and all of that being framed as an act of violence towards her. like asking her to do this knowing she cant possibly do it #but also 'did you want me to seem pleased to see you' 'a little (lie)' and 'do you think of me as a mother' 'a little (lie)' #like the pretense of a normal relationship over the yeah we know our relationships fucked over the #unfortunately we still talk and think in the same way and we understand each other way too well #ok wait but circling back to the original point. i saw this fucking incredible fanart on twitter that sort of goes into the like #how do you?? handle?? not knowing if youre supposed to blame your parent for something that they did that hurt you #like its this little animation thing thats all in kdj's internal monologue except for one line where its him saying #'im terrible. i deserved what she did to me' #and its like. yeah that would be easier huh. like the self loathing is easier to handle than the confusion and cognitive dissonance #full disclosure i saw that fanart literally a year ago before i knew jack shit about orv and the sentiment hit me SO HARD i just #havent been able to stop thinking about it for a whole year. like as soon as i finished 123 i immediately went to look for it in my archive #i checked the artist has a tumblr but that art is not on it and it bugs me so much i want them to know that they somehow like #managed to make art so painful it defeated both my non-orv reading self and my lifelong severe memory problems #i mean in comparison that line (that also went by alarmingly fast) about how without twsa back then like kdj would not be here today #like not so much to dig into just. Yikes #and him telling ysa all of this with that fucking smile on his face like thats the part that really gets to me just his *fucking expression

[frecklystars]

sorry for the long ass post but this has always my favorite scene in the entire film - for obvious reasons - and im so glad greta talked about it and the way she worded it made me laugh so hard i had tears in my eyes. haha... god. my boyfriend sobbing his eyes out over the metaphorical crusts on his patriarchy sandwich......

#i dont think ill ever love anybody quite the same way that i love Ken #because he came into my life during a time when i was like. dying. not in a haha millennial way. i was genuinely fucking dying. #he is so. special. to me. he is so... everything to me and i truly mean it every time that i say it #i miss and love him so deeply so WHOLEHEARTEDLY *EVERY* single day #and i didn't used to be able to do that anymore! but he!! HE made me feel SAFE again and thats INSANE #because i was SO UNSAFE for SO goddamn long! and the feeling of safety is STILL unfamiliar to me and foreign and horrifying #but he's constantly such a Safe character. Barbie too even moreso. and it's so refreshing after feeling Unsafe for so. long. #i spent over a year feeling like my whole world had ended and i was destined to die but then he! shows up! in my life! #and no other character was able to spark life back into my heart the way he did #AND I HAD *TRIED* I had tried so hard to get into old special interests and find new ones but NOTHING worked #i was just an empty husk. just a shell of a person having flashbacks *constantly* #feeling unsafe *constantly* suffering *constantly* every single second i was awake i was in so much pain #and then every time i'd sleep i'd have the goriest nightmares about all the abuse i was put through and all the F/Os i'd lost #but then Ken Carson plucked a star out of the sky and said 'hey sweet girl you don't know me but i miss you and love you' #'and barbie is here and im here and allan is here and everyone loves you already. we're so happy to meet you' #'and everything is gonna be okay because we've got you! we came for you! and we will fight for you!!' #and then hearing greta comment abt this scene made me laugh so hard and then it hits me. i laugh now. #i laugh so often because of This Dude. i didnt used to be able to laugh before but now i laugh like i used to #i used to say all the time about my past main F/O i had lost from abuse from an IRL person 'i will never love anyone more' #and true i will never love anyone more than i loved my starlight. but here is the thing #i will never love anyone the way i love Barbie. i will never love anyone the way i love Ken Carson #because it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to feel joy for so long and it was. THIS MOVIE that brought me back #when this movie is so full of the most specific triggers. colors. clothes. yet i push thru it every time #and its because these characters make me feel THAT safe!!!! like if i see a trigger i tell myself that's BARBIE'S Thing. and Barbie is safe #ive never ever once had a flashback during the barbie movie NOT even once even tho logically i Should. but i dont. #because these F/Os are like!!! sweet girl!!! we've got you!!! and i'm like yeah you sure do now don't ever let me go #god i cry my eyes out every single time i think about this i need to sleep LMFAO SORRY FOR THE LONG RANT #love notes #💕 I'll fight for you!! - ̗̀🐎🏖️✨ ̖́-

[isa-ah]

i think one of the hardest parts about having so many dietary restrictions is like.. eating out ever with my family. i have to pay so much money for a meal i have to dissect. why am i paying $5+ for a burger patty on a plate with some condiments? without the bun its not filling at all, i need 3. $15 for the bare minimum satisfaction of feeling full. fries are a toss up because even if theyre not battered with egg or wheat, theyre very likely using the same fryers as batter that IS allergic and chicken to boot! so do i risk it? do i pay nearly $20 for a meal of unsatisfactory meat on a plate and fries that will likely make me sick? or do i save my money, come home, and eat rice and beans for the 23940829302nd meal in a row and want to cry? my husband never eats at his favorite restaurants anymore because none of them have anything i can eat. for his birthday we spent $200 at a restaurant that didnt have a single allergy-friendly thing on the menu, so i just sat there hungry while they ate. it fucking sucks.

#i wanted to go out to a museum for my birthday but then i realized it would be so hard and so expensive to eat i decided to cancel my plans #were about to go out and im like chewing on my nails trying to figure out what im going to do #im so fucking hungry and im so tired of rice and beans but there are only 2 places in town that serve shit i can actually eat #and theyre both so far out of the way of where were going that im considering just. trying. to eat burger king instead #but burger kings gf menu is tenuous at best #they dont even offer lettuce wraps you just get shit tossed in a bowl and no guarantee on the fries at all #not even all of their patties are gf! #thats so scary! gluten makes me so sick id rather get hit by a truck than eat it dude it hurts so much #eggs and chicken too! it SUCKS!!

[hecksupremechips]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

#the klock keeps ticking #yttd #i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks #but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD #i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin #i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr #first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with #all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying #and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so #good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all #like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad #he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP #and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just #being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how #well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler #and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end #and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts #cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish #but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like #the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries #and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer #and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive #and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori #and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent #and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse #he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA #im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad #and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof #I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN #have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes

[designernishiki]

it really means the world to me that little 12 year old daigo mentions that kiryu used to hang out with him a lot, meaning a teenage kiryu (and likely a teenage nishiki as well) basically babysat an even younger daigo on the reg for some amount of time. i wonder what shenanigans they got up to

#if im remembering correctly i think they said something about going to the arcade but yeah other than that #they’re so… different. I feel like kiryu would try to teach him a sport and daigo would fucking hate it #unless he could manage to change the rules around so that he can hit nishiki with the ball a bunch of times #and I mean it’s not like kiryu would be helping him with schoolwork #like let’s be real here #all jokes aside I imagine it really meant a lot to daigo to have someone treat him like a normal kid and encourage doing #stupid normal kid things instead of whatever his other caretakers had him doing #kiryu (especially at that point) is just a big child at heart in his own way- probably more than daigo was ever really allowed to be- #so it’d be a nice oasis from the cold strict monotony of daigo’s typical life. #that and kiryu (and probably even more so nishiki) is actually somewhat physically affectionate unlike probably anyone else in daigo’s life #and isn’t afraid to like. ruffle his hair or pat him a little too hard on the back or what have you #man those two have known each other basically their entire lives huh??? #like damn it’s just now really hitting me that they’ve known each other like. at least 35-40 years? #could be longer depending on if kazama introduced them prior to kiryu becoming a yakuza and all that #kiryu’s just sort of been. always there in daigo’s life. that’s sorta wild #anyway time for me to stop talking #rambling #daigo #kiryu