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fun-k-board · 6 months

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Lord Of The Rings With a Platonic, Child Reader From Our World

Characters included : Frodo Baggins, Legolas, Samwise Gamgee, Peregrin ' Pippin ' Took and Meriadoc ' Merry ' Brandybuck

Note(s) : They don't have the time to turn around, so you sort of get roped into joining them, at least until they find a place for you to stay.

Also, in this the reader knows about the Jackson movies but never really paid attention to them, and they haven't read the books.

Frodo Baggins

Ah, yes, Frodo. Resident ring bearer and anxiety magnet. He was quick to defend you if any suspicion arouse of your random arrival, you're a human and can't even reach his height, the Hobbit that can't reach an elves or humans chest, so, you must be incredibly young. Because of this, Frodo can't help but want to help you, especially on the quest.

He's very sweet and caring with you and makes sure you get enough rest. Frodo can't exactly carry you, so if you get too tired to walk the most he can do is hold your hand and guide you along. Despite that, he helps in other ways.

Like how he's always giving you extra food and maybe even a spare coat or blanket that's laying around, he makes sure you get enough sleep even if it means he gets less. Given he's the most important part of this mission to destroy the ring, he's usually a bit babied and overprotected, not so much that's it's immediately noticeable, but it's there.

So, he understands how annoyed you can get when it happens with you, though he definetly thinks your situations are different considering he's technically an adult and you aren't even close to being one.

Frodo isn't too sure how to help you when it comes to you being afraid, or angry, or even just in a state of depression about your situation. He doesn't exactly realise how strange and overwhelming it must be for you, until or if you begin to start wearing down mentally. His solution is to try and read you stories, no, he didn't exactly bring any books with him, but he has certain books memorised.

It may help, it may not, but the thought is what counts, and he is trying to help you the best he can with the unfortunate situation he's in.

If you ever claim to know him or the fellowships story, maybe Bilbo's, or even accidently letting in on events to follow, he's stunned. At first given the fact you claimed to be from a land nobody, not even Gandalf, has heard of, the strange reactions you had to their foods and way of life, among many, many other things, he became convinced you weren't human. That, or you were from a different time, the future specifically, he'd never fully believe it or bring it up, but it's always a sneaking suspicion you aren't what you claim.

When it comes time to leave you at a safe village, you're clearly unhappy, wanting nothing more than to stay with the Hobbit who helped you through your toughest hours. Yet, he understands you mustn't come with him, it's far too dangerous for you. And so, he leaves, leaving you heartbroken.

When he eventually returns, the ring destroyed, Middle Earth saved, he can't help but feel empty. His time spent with you becomes short lived, a few months at most, before he decides to move on, leaving you alone again, I suppose it makes leaving Middle Earth to return home easier, but all the more bitter.

Legolas

Legolas understood how weak humans are compared to his kind, and to see a human child so alone made his heart break. He couldn't help but become your protector, especially when you seemingly had no idea how to function in this world. Sometimes, if you're too tired and the rest of the group isn't, he'll pick you up, it can make you feel a little weak, but he assures you it's just because you're young. He'd treat any other child the same.

I think he may be one of the few to actually understand in part what you mean when you say you aren't 'from here'. He won't clock in immediately, but after seeing just how different you viewed life and just everything in general, how you can't do the most basic of tasks without some help, or how you looked at him with such familiarity, there's just a lot he notices that makes him raise a brow.

If you tell him, Legolas may believe your making it up, you're a kid after all, one that's going through a lot. But, after realising you're dead serious he wracks his brain trying to remember if anybody has ever mentioned something like this happening. He wants to try and help you go home, and plans to bring you home with him so he can find a solution somewhere. And if he can't find one? He wants to help you find peace in your predicament as long as you stay there.

When it comes time to leave you at a safe haven, he is sad to leave you behind, you're a little friend, after all. But, he understands it must be done, and explains to you exactly that, which makes the ending a bit more sweet than bitter.

Eventually, he does return, and meets with you once more, he understands that in a blink of his lifetime you'll be dead, but, that doesn't stop him from being your closest ally during all of this. However, you do need to return to Earth. He finds himself mourning you far sooner than he expected.

Samwise Gamgee

Sam becomes a literal dad, you're a random human kid in this traumatic journey to destroy one of the most dangerous items in the entirety of middle Earth, and you claim to have no idea where you are. He's giving you extra food, holding your hand and picking you up, if you get too cold or scared in the night he'll try hugging you for a while and telling you stories of misadventures in the Shire. As plain as they may seem compared to a journey to destroy the most dangerous object in the entirety of Middle Earth.

If you're sad, the most he can do is offer comfort in the way of cuddling, or a story, sometimes he even has to ask Gandalf for help because he's just so lost. Anger is something he can deal with a little better, he holds your hand and tells you why you should be angry, but you shouldn't keep it bottled or use it unfairly against others.

I think at first Sam would just believe you come from a strange human place, and that's why your behaviour is so off. That's until he notices some things, when asked about things he'd consider basic knowledge, you are completely blank, sure, maybe you know what an elf is, but after that you sort of just stare at him confused at what he's talking about. You even believed him to be a dwarf at first!

He asks Boromir and Aragorn if they know any human places that you're talking about, neither know, so he's even more perplexed at what on middle earth you're talking about. He begins to believe you're making it up, he's not condescending like most adults, and he pretends that he understands if to give you some peace of mind, but all it does is make you more frustrated and scared. You just want to go home.

Your short time as friends comes to an end, he must leave further on in the journey, and you must stay behind, you both understand, well, he does and you partly do, all you can do is wait for the ring to be destroyed.

Sam returns, and he takes you back to the Shire with him, where he introduces you to everybody, you're almost like a child to him, but then you leave to go back to Earth. He can't stop his heart from breaking, even more so when Frodo leaves.

Meriadoc 'Merry' Brandybuck and Peregrin 'Pippin' Took

The fact you're incredibly young, found yourself in a traumatic and confusing situation, let's not even mention the fact there's little people with gigantic hariy feet and no shoes, you'll probably try and cope. Whether that's with humor or shutting down, Pippin and Merry are a package deal, no matter if you like them or not, a young and confused presence egnites their curiosity.

Besides, Gandalf specifically told them to not be overbearing and or overwhelm you, so what does Pippin, master of disappointing and angering the grey wizard do? That's right, he becomes overwhelming. And Merry, master of attempting to one up his dear friend, does the exact same.

How they do this depends on your mood, if you're depressed and very shy they'll try cheering you up, asking questions about your home, if that makes it worse? They begin acting even more childish than usual to make you laugh, to the literal pain and torture of Gandalf. But if you're trying to cope with humour, they are more so just tagging along, making jokes that distract you from your pain.

Neither will clock in that you're from an unfamiliar world, sure, you're weird, but so are they. Both assume your strange actions are simply just a result of you being a human, do Boromir or Aragorn act the same? No, but you're a human kid so, that probably factors in somehow.

Both laugh you off if you try to explain the truth, they don't believe you, and reduce it to a good story that they can give to Frodo to write about. You may get angry, sad, or just decide to go with it, neither really notice that you're not lying until someone else points out how dumb that idea is.

When it finally comes time to drop you off, you want to stay with the two, because while they're in part strangers and this is a strange land, they're at least familiar, unlike the place they're basically abandoning you at. Pippin and Merry feel the same, and so sneak you with them.

The situation may become dire, and you probably get incredibly unhealthy and sickly in your time with them, but when it's all over, you feel like you've gained two older brothers. Which will make it so much more painful when you have to say goodbye.

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leeloooonfire · 2 years

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I've got another Steddie fic idea, so here we go again (caution: its LONG):

Steve, who starts to work as a youth worker in San Francisco; grows an eco friendly veggie garden and finally falls in love.

For a long time, Steve feels lost. With the Upside Down closed and his friends save, he feels like he lost all his purpose. No more monsters to hunt, no more bodily protecting the people he loves.

Then, Robin goes to New York and Nancy and Jonathan leave, too. Working alone at the video store is shit with Keith breathing down his neck.

And then, after healing, Max is the first to get a driver licence, and therefore all the kids don't need him to drive them around town.

It's like everything he's good at isn't needed anymore.

What the hell is he supposed to do? Work with his dad? Work at the store until he's old with a beer belly and significantly less hair on his head?

Shit, no way.

So, when Eddie, yes, EDDIE, asks him if he wants to leave good ol' Hawkins behind and move to San Francisco instead, Steve agrees.

It's not like he has better things to do, and with Eddie by his side, he's not gonna be alone.

At first, Eddie works at a shady bar while Steve, who has always been the driver, works as a taxi driver. From 8pm to 4am, he takes on customer and after picks up Eddie to go home to their 1-bedroom bungalow and the meager garden. They sleep in one bed, feet tangled, curly hair in Steve's mouth and boxed rips. It's not perfect, but Steve, who has always been so utterly alone, loves it. It doesn't matter that Eddie is a dude, and Steve is straight (or is he?!).

During the day, Steve tries to grow some plants, because San Francisco might be cool, but expensive as fuck.

It works fine, they are both happier than they've been in Hawkins, but Steve still feels like he's missing something. Like - all of this- is still not enough.

One time in the middle of the night, he sees a girl standing by a bus stop who seems to be younger than his kids in Hawkins, and he can't just drive away. She just looks so - lost.

He asks her if he can call someone for her or help in any way. And surprisingly, she agrees and asks him to drive her to her youth worker.

While Steve thinks, she shouldn't trust a stranger with a car, he is also thankful it is him and not a random dude who might hurt her.

So, he drives her to the youth worker, a woman not much older than him who takes him in for a coffee before he picks up another customer.

They talk, and talk, and Steve...well.

Steve falls in love with her work.

She invites him to come to their office the next day, which he does.

She asks him, if he could ever imagine to work with kids. He fills out an application for the job.

She wonders if he is alright with the prospect of having to absolve a training. He signs up for it.

Again, it's not perfect, but Steve goes home after work relieved and content. He is needed again, and what he does...he does well. Good even!

The teens open up to him, they look up to him and some even let him help them to fight for a better future.

And Eddie?

Eddie stops working at the bar and learns how to cook, to bake, to use what Steve and he grow in their garden, and when he feels confident in his own creatings (he'd always been able to bake some SICK plant-based brownies 😌👌), he opens up a place that is neither just a restaurant nor a coffee shop nor a bar. It's all combined - its food with coffee and live music three times a week.

It's a place for the gays, the girls, the non binary pals. It's a home for the teens who work with Steve and need a place to get a warm meal, a place to shower or sleep a few nights.

It's a home. Because it's Eddie's, and Eddie becomes his home.

Three years in San Francisco, they have the money to get their own places, to stop sharing a bed, but Steve doesn't want to. And Eddie doesn't ask for it. Instead, they start saving money for a house with a bigger garden. They get 4 birds (called Frodo, Sam, Merri and Pipin - and Steve doesn't get the joke), nurse a hedgehog to health, buy an avocado tree and a new, bigger bed.

It's only natural to wake up one morning with Eddie's toes pressed against his leg and the intense urge to kiss Eddie senseless.

And so he does, hands tangled in Eddie's hair, and ignores Eddie's whispered "fucking finally".

#steddie #stranger things 4 #steve harrington #steve x eddie #eddie munson #stranger things #fanfiction prompts

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zaynes-nieve · 1 year

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Bilbo Baggins is the Grandson of the Thain which is most like royalty in any other culture except to the shire having to constantly correct his dwarves that no. No he isn't a prince. We don't have royalty in the shire. I bet it makes no sense to everyone else the conversation is literally like

Kili: Alright so let me get this straight. You are the grandson of the technical ruler of the Shire. Your little hole-

Fili: Simal-

Kili: Is coveted enough and super nice by the way, and also to be Thain it is an inherited title from the Thain heirs. Also you happen to be richer than the average hobbit and yet- your not royalty

Bilbo: Mhm. We don't have such things in the shire such tedious work. We only need our simals, good food and proper etiquette. That is the proper hobbit way

They never get through to him it's a running challenge, the closest was Balin. Then Erebor happens and All of them live because what is reality? Never heard of her and all three of the Durin like are drugged out of their mind and are not able to lift the ban from Erebor and as such he needed to leave.

Of course fucking Thorin Oakenshield emo king under the god damn mountain would instead of thinking rationally on the fact that he gave an order to have Bilbo thrown out of Erebor before the battle, nope Bilbo just despises him now, can't even look at him. But he needs to atone even if Bilbo never wants to see him again and so him along with the company - which mind you is still very much in contact with their Hobbit who is telling them about the adorable little flaunting his cousin just had.- Time continuity what? But of course they are totally down for telling everyone about their brave burglar, Bilbo the Dragon Riddler, The Barrel Rider. He is the best story tale in a good while in Erebor. Everyone is interested in the non dwarf of the kings company, who has a room that is prepped and ready. Who saved all the Durin line. And then of course as we shippers exist in every god forsaken place. People start to question the relationship between The Burglar and Their King. He visits the room often, the maids whisper to eachother. The Hobbit returned even after being threatened to save their King and his sons. He fought Azog not once but twice! and saved the company from more than that.

Then, one of the princes let the familiar joke that followed all the way from the shire. About Bilbo be royalty and then it just clicked. Assumptions are definitely made. Of course. The Company's Burglar wouldn't have left so suddenly like that. He was a prince! He had his duties. They are star crossed lovers unable to be with each other with their own lands to run. Maybe a marriage proposal will happen in the near future once Erebor is back to it's formal glory

Thorin is wondering how this got blown out of proportion. The Company and Dis are enjoying the hell out of it, maybe their King will stop being stupid and go after their burglar already

However years pass by quickly and Bilbo's letters start to slow. Eventually we hit LOTR era. Bilbo is old, he wants to go on one last adventure. He gives all his possessions to Frodo. To see Erebor one last time but his age catches up with him in Rivendell. He still writes to his dwarves telling them all they need to know that one day he will pass, to say goodbye.

Of course all the dwarves are not going to let this slide. Leave their Hobbit alone to pass? With ELVES?!?! Hell No. So of course all of the dwarves are packing up, they were already heading over their anyways because of something the elves wanted to talk about anyways and so the Company, Dis and Gimli set out along with the appropriate amount of guards.

Bilbo is surprised but happy to see his old friends though he is getting stared at a bit too often for his tastes. But nevertheless he is willing to let it go and learn more about the time that he missed with everyone

MEANWHILE Frodo and the other hobbits are on their way to Rivendell. And all of them are supposed to see dwarves, multiple, willingly in Rivendell, hell some are even being civil. Of course questioning is involved and Frodo unknowingly let it's slip out he is a Baggins. Abd the Dwarves are going feral, greeting from all over, Praises for his uncle so on and so forth, they practically bully him to his uncle's room who is surrounded by 15 dwarves.

Bilbo is very happy to see him safe and sound. The company is very happy to put a face to the name and then Bilbo probably makes a comment on Bag End which is now in Frodos possession and everyone once again assume that Frodo is now the current Duke/Prince of Bad End LFMAO

Which then starts over the argument all over again in the Fellowship now with three other hobbits backing Frodo up.

Thorin obviously grovels and Bilbo is very willing to go back to Erebor if he can and if not Thorin is staying with him.

I lost the original person I was gonna reblog off of and I'm sure one of y'all know it so post them in my comments and I'll add them.

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tathrin · 1 year

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Been doing some world-building for the Gimli Dark Lord of Erebor AU, and I think I have the general background events figured out at last. Anyone want to read way too many sloppily-written words of backstory for this unhinged canon-divergence nightmare fic? Boy are you in luck if so!

Note that any of this is subject to change until and unless actually directly referenced in the fic itself. This is very much proto-rough-draft stuff right now, just sort of brainstorming-via-prose. (Also obviously potential spoilers abound, in the sense of “things that have already happened but haven’t been revealed or discussed by the characters,” although it does stop some considerable amount of time before the day the story actually opens.) But I know there are a few folks who’ve expressed interest in knowing more about this AU, and I would love to know people’s thoughts on what I’ve come up with so far. Especially if you see a logistical issue or plot-hole that needs to be paved!

Also it’s probably less than wholly coherent (this was largely typed on my phone at work, shhh), but do let me know if you hit any part that’s just completely unfathomable and I’ll try to clarify it.

Anyway...

We start with Boromir taking the One Ring from Frodo on Amon Hen. He runs off in something of a panic (at this point in his own mind he sees himself as too far gone to do anything else, and the Ring runs with that—they'd never forgive you now!—and he goes racing off pell-mell), unaware that the others are about twenty minutes away from being ambushed by uruk-hai—although it is that fight which will give him the necessary lead-time to escape.

Frodo was injured (hand broken, knocked out) in the struggle over the Ring. The others find him after the orc fight just waking up, having been hidden by his cloak from the battle. Aragorn tends his wounds while Legolas and Gimli search for Merry and Pippin; can't find them. The others join the search: nothing. Too much ground, too many footprints, too few clues. They search for hours, but—but the Ring gets farther away with every minute. They must pursue it, must pursue Boromir. But to do so means abandoning Merry and Pippin who may or may not even be alive. What do they do?

Sam of course wants to keep looking, but will defer to Frodo. Frodo would like to search more, but his duty (and the Ring) tug at him to chase Boromir, even though all he wants to do is find his friends and make sure they're all right. Loyal Gimli of course is aghast at the idea of abandoning his friends until he knows for sure that they are dead; Legolas, warrior of Mirkwood, understands both the stakes and the bitterness of such sacrifice all too well, and votes to do what they must and chase the Ring. Aragorn is torn…but duty to the Quest wins in the end, at least in part because he is sure that they must be dead already and their hacked bodies lying somewhere in the brush of Amon Hen. (They are not: they are being carried into Rohan on the backs of uruk-hai. They will escape to Fangorn, and the Ents, and join the march to Isengard. But their friends will not come there to find them. They will not see the Fellowship again.)

The rest chase Boromir, but they are too far behind. They will not catch him. The Ring will go to Gondor, and to Denethor, and hope will not come again to the White City.

Gandalf will go to Edoras alone. He will meet Merry and Pippin in Fangorn, but the rest of the Fellowship will not know that he returned until the moment when he leaves again. In Meduseld, he will pull Théoden out from Saruman's spell, and at the Hornberg he will bring Erkenbrand to save the survivors of Helm's Deep as they huddle in the keep beneath the unflinching assault of the White Hand. Éomer is dead, with no dwarf there to save him. Théoden lives, but as a broken man: he lost his son and he lost his nephew, and he could not save his people, but rather had to be pulled from the trap of his walls by saviors led by the White Wizard. It does not matter: his death will find him on the plains outside the White City regardless.

But before that: Boromir arrives in Minas Tirith on March 2nd. Théoden has just been healed; the Entmoot has not yet concluded. The rest of the Fellowship are at most two days behind Boromir. Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas could ostensibly travel faster than him, but they have two Hobbits to bring with them, one of whom was injured, and they lingered long in search of Merry and Pippin; also the Ring, far from being a burden that drags at his feet as it does with Frodo, speeds his steps and strengthens him when he might otherwise seek rest, because he is doing what it wants. They have made good time, but not good enough to overtake him; not good enough to stop him.

Gandalf, as a Ringbearer, senses the moment that Denethor claims the One Ring…and so does Frodo.

"Wait," he cries, staggering to a halt. He drops to his knees clutching his head, his heart; trying to clutch his very soul. His shoulder burns like ice. "Wait," he says, "it's too late."

Aragorn stares at him in horror. "Sauron has the Ring?"

"No," Frodo says. "Someone else…a Man, I think. A tall Man, he looks old. He feels very old. I don't think he is, though. I think he…I think he is someone very important. Not a king, but something like a king, I think," he says, and Aragorn sinks to the ground beside the Hobbit. His face is gray and grim. Frodo tries to offer him a reassuring smile out of instinct, but he cannot quite manage it; instead his face curls in a thoughtful frown. "He reminds me of you, a little, Strider," Frodo continues, "but…but not, also. Very much not like you, in some ways, I think. But I saw a White City, and a dead tree, and the Ring was on his hand, and…and it is his. Aragorn, the Ring is his."

"Denethor, " Aragorn says, and his voice is a lament. He bows his head. "Alas for Gondor, then, for Denethor has claimed the One Ring."

"What does that mean?" Legolas asks. "What do we do next?"

"What can we do?" Aragorn shrugs, and stands, and he looks older than he ever has as he turns his face south towards Minas Tirith. "The choice has been taken from us. Now all that is left is to stand with Gondor in the war that will come, or flee before Sauron's victory."

"But Gondor cannot defeat him," Gimli says.

"No," says Aragorn. "They cannot. But I will pledge them my sword nonetheless."

In the end, they all decide to go on with heavy hearts to Minas Tirith. Denethor welcomes them with smiles and poorly-concealed suspicion. (He does not want them here, but it is better to have them under his eye, where he is the one in control.) Boromir swaggers to cover his feelings of shame. (He does not want them here; he does not manage quite to meet their eyes.) Faramir is fascinated by the Halflings especially, and it is he who manages to coax the truth out of Frodo and Sam about exactly how Boromir really got his hands on the One Ring. (He is grieved, but less surprised than he wishes he was; Faramir knows his brother, and he knows furthermore that he has been acting strangely since he returned from Rivendell. This truth explains much.)

The Beacons have now been lit, although it will be some days before Rohan arrives, if they can come at all; if they had come sooner, perhaps Gandalf would have stopped Aragorn and Frodo from passing the gates of the White City and placing themselves in Denethor's power. But Gandalf was not there, and his friends still think him dead. So Aragorn and Frodo enter Minas Tirith, but they do not bring hope with them when they do. Denethor is already lost to the Ring, and to the visions of glory and dominion that it feeds him.

Sauron, of course, also knew the moment someone claimed his Ring. So Mordor marches to war against Minas Tirith…but Sauron is not committed to this war. He knows where the real battle is being fought, and he has already decided that he will win it by agreeing to lose. This is merely the necessary process to make his surrender convincing. So he sends an army, and Minas Tirith fights, and the Maker of the One Ring strives in his mind against the Master of the One Ring, and Aragorn can do nothing to stop Denethor from dooming them all.

Boromir rides at the head of Gondor's army, and Aragorn rides beside him with Andúril in hand, and the people whisper; but Aragorn makes no move to claim the kingship. Gondor's army stands against Mordor, but slowly they are pushed back to the gates of the White City. Their lines are beginning to falter on the third day of battle when dawn finally breaks to show the Riders of Rohan coming up over the grass, the Grey Company (who came to Rohan seeking Aragorn, and found Théoden instead, and were persuaded by Gandalf that the most likely place to find Aragorn will be Gondor) with them—but there are many orcs yet, and the Corsairs of Umbar are coming up the river, too, and there are Nazgûl flying out of the east towards the battlefield. Three of them converge on Théoden—but it is not the king they seek, but rather the counselor riding beside him: Gandalf Greyhame, wielder of the Ring of Fire.

Gandalf yells for Rohan's forces to flee from these foes which are beyond their strength. Many do; Théoden stays. He masters the bitter fear the Nazgûl bring and defends Gandalf from their blades, until one pierces his shoulder. He goes down to his knees with a cry, and still he raises his blade one last time…and so he dies beside the wizard when Gandalf uses all the power within him to destroy the three Nazgûl Lords and a goodly portion of the armies around him, too.

The surviving Rohirrim are rallied by a young soldier they knew as Dernhelm, who throws off her helmet and reveals herself to be Éowyn of the House of Eorl. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she leads her people back into battle. They follow her with a roar and the strength of their spears and shields sends many orcs of Mordor running.

Then Denethor stands on the battlements and holds his hand aloft in a blaze of fiery light, and he commands the forces of Mordor to cower before him. And they do.

It is in that moment that Aragorn knows hope is lost.

The battle ends with most of the orcs slain, the rest fleeing either back to Mordor or into the wild. The Easterlings and Corsairs are taken prisoner, or strike out on a desperate flight for their distant homes. (Denethor will deal with them, he decides, once his business with Sauron is finished; for now, let them flee.) Aragorn walks alone through the ashes of the Wizard's fall, which none other will dare brave. He retrieves the Rings left behind by Gandalf's inferno and takes Narya for his own: not because he wants to, but because he trusts no other there to wield it, and he does not believe that it will be left unclaimed if he does not. He means to bring it to Rivendell, and to give it to Elrond to bestow upon one of his advisors (most likely Glorfindel, he thinks; Glorfindel would be a good choice for that Ring, if he can brace himself to face fire on such close terms once again)…

But Denethor does not approve. He demands all the Rings; Aragorn refuses to give him any. He says that those of the Ringwraiths were born by Kings of Men once, and while they do not know which kings Gandalf burned, still Aragorn has thus the closest claim to those Rings than anyone there, for he is descended from Kings of Men, including some who once ruled Númenor and were lured into becoming Ringwraiths by Sauron's words. He will not give up those Rings; and as for Narya, he will return it to the elves, for it was an elvish ring before it was gifted to the Wizard.

Denethor declares that he is the Master of all the Rings now, and Aragorn will hand them over; Aragorn refuses. They match wills, and for a moment seem almost evenly matched: Denethor has the One Ring, which was built to command all the others, but Aragorn is mightier than Denethor, and he has not worn his spirit low contending with Sauron, and the Three were never fully dominated by the Dark Lord. They are evenly matched, for a moment… Then while they strive, on Denethor's quiet command, Boromir murders Aragorn. (He is horrified, later, to realize that he struck from behind; horrified to realize that he slew a friend. But in the moment, all he could feel was the compulsion of the Ring and the bloodlust of his own fury that Aragorn would dare defy his father, the Steward who ruled the land which the descendants of the kings abandoned.) Denethor takes the four Rings in triumph, and he gives to Boromir the Ring of Fire still wet with Aragorn's blood.

The secret of Aragorn's death is one they will not keep for long, but for now, none know what happened in the great hall between the Steward and the man who might have been his king.

Meanwhile, Merry and Pippin are back at Edoras; they left Isengard with Gandalf and the Rohirrim, but were not carried to battle with the rest of their forces. Frodo and Sam have decided to go there to seek their friends, since they will be of little use in the battle at the Black Gates, they figure—but Denethor has something else in mind for the Hobbit who once carried the Ring. He asks Frodo to stay at his side while the end of the war is fought, and Frodo cannot find a polite way to decline and Sam will not leave Frodo's side. So they stay in Gondor, while the survivors of the army ride out to break the Black Gate and throw Sauron down from his Dark Tower.

Boromir, with Narya on his hand, leads their forces; Faramir, now wearing one of the Nine, rides with him. Legolas and Gimli notice that Aragorn is not with the army, and the Ring he briefly claimed is now worn by Boromir, and they are distressed—but what can they do? The war is here at hand, and there is no time for questions now (just as Denethor arranged, of course). The army rides to the Black Gates, and Sauron's forces pour forth to battle…

And then Sauron himself strides onto the field. Terror grips the forces of Gondor and Rohan…and then Sauron kneels. His Nazgûl kneel beside him. He surrenders his forces and offers himself a prisoner to Gondor; a prisoner to the Lord of the Rings.

No one wants to go near him, to touch him. Even bold Boromir quails, the Ring in his mind shrieking in terror of the maia who would have mastered it. Eventually it is Faramir who walks forward, and the sight of his little brother showing such bravery stirs Boromir's courage and he follows, and together the two Captains of Gondor take Sauron prisoner.

The army rides back to Minas Tirith in escort, while Faramir and a smaller force stay to claim and investigate Barad-dûr. One of the Nazgûl stays with them to play (terrifying) guide; the other three go back with Sauron as prisoners, although no one wants to bind them or go near them, and in the end they march back under their own power and by their own will, or at least that of their master, rather than under guard or bindings (three Nazgûl died to Gandalf and there are two currently stationed in Dol Guldur leading the war against Mirkwood, Dale, Erebor, and Lórien, so there were only four left in Mordor). Sauron is brought to Minas Tirith as a prisoner, but he walks in with a faint smirk on his face and his head unbowed, with three Nazgûl framing him in escort, and there are some who cannot help but think he looks more like a conqueror than a captive when he crosses through the white stone gates that once held back his Shadow and kneels politely before the Steward.

Sauron is no longer fair to look at, no; he lost that seeming in the wreckage of Númenor. But there is a grim beauty to his fell features nonetheless, the sort of cruel and regal beauty of hatred and power. He does not look fair, he does not look good—but he looks strong, to be sure. In a way, he even looks faintly kingly standing there before the unclaimed throne of the king. A tyrant of a king, yes; but a king, to be sure. It will be Sauron, in fact, who eventually convinces Denethor to claim that throne, since the kings will never be coming home now, and does not the Lord of the Rings merit a throne, even if he is not (never will be) a king?

It will also be Sauron who, having flattered the story out of Denethor, spreads the truth of what happened to their would-be king through the White City…although it will not be he who tells Faramir. That will be Boromir himself, in the cold hours one night, wracked with guilt and trying to invent excuses to lift the weight of it from his mind. Faramir will be horrified, but he will not speak out against his brother's actions then; he will have already learned, by then, when to keep silent under the weight of Denethor's dominion. There is a reason his father gave him a Ring, after all, and it was not because he thought Faramir deserved its power.

But that is later; for now, there are the few remaining members of the Fellowship to consider.

Frodo, having carried the Ring so far, has fallen under Denethor's sway. He will fall farther, soon: Denethor will gift him with the second of the three Nine Rings taken from the charnel of the battlefield, and will send him back west to rule the Shire and all its surrounding lands in Gondor's name. Sam will go with him, of course, because Sam is loyal and will remain loyal; even as Frodo falls deeper and deeper under the sway of the Ring, and becomes more and more of a wraith—more and more of a monster—at Denethor's hand, heartbroken Sam will always be loyal. Even as he grieves for what the Shire becomes under Frodo's increasingly merciless rule, and for the ever-growing distance and cruelty of his corrupted master, he cannot help but stay loyal.

Aragorn's friends and kinsmen do not know exactly what happened to him, but they know that some foul play must have been involved; they know, too, that their own lives are under threat in Gondor. They know too much, and their loyalty is not and has never been to Denethor. He is busy now with Sauron and with Frodo, but he will not stay busy forever. They need to go now, while they still can—but none of their attempts to politely take their leave are accepted, for while Denethor has more important things to deal with right now he also does mean to deal with them eventually, and intends to keep them cooling their heels in his city until he can spare them the proper attention. So he plans victory feasts, and pretends great grief at the notion of their parting, and says that they must stay until after Aragorn is laid in state in a great funeral as befits Isildur's Heir, and so on and so forth; one excuse after another after another, all fairly-couched and on the surface far too noble and justified to balk at. But they know it is a pretense, and they know they are running out of time.

(And Sauron is in the city, too. And if he is in chains…well, he has been in chains before. It did not stop him working evil then, and the Dúnedain know those stories well. They need to leave.)

So one night the survivors of the Grey Company leave Minas Tirith under cover of darkness. They go on foot for all that it pains the Dúnedain to abandon their loyal steeds, because they know they would not be able to sneak out with the horses. Legolas and Gimli go with them—or at least, Gimli was supposed to be with them. But Gimli stayed, because he feared that he would slow them down. Worse, he feared that he would slow Legolas down. He remembers how tireless the elf was during the pursuit of Boromir; remembers thinking that if Legolas had been unfettered by mortal limitations, he would have been able to outpace him, and perhaps all this would have gone differently. He thinks about the fact that Mirkwood is not so far to the north, and how Legolas could probably cover that distance in a little more than a week if he were alone; he thinks of how much slower he would go, if he had a dwarf in tow, and how likely that delay would get him killed, and so Gimli stays.

The rest of them disappear into the night in their grey cloaks, fading into the wilds as only those who walk with the light tread of Rangers or elven-kind might do.

Gimli begs the sons of Elrond to lie for him, and so it is not until they are many miles from the White City that Legolas discovers his friend did not come with them, and by then it is too late to go back—and even if he did, what would he do? Drag Gimli away with him? The dwarf chose to stay, and chose not even to say farewell. Well, that was his choice to make; Legolas cannot unmake it for him.

So Legolas returns to Mirkwood, bereft and bewildered by Gimli's betrayal, and throws himself into the doomed fight against the Shadow there. Galadriel did not throw down the walls of Dol Guldur, after all; she, too, knew the moment that Denethor claimed the One Ring for his own, and she knew what that would mean for Lothlórien. She and Celeborn did not lead their forces across the river to aid Thranduil; they stayed in their forest, and prepared for the end.

Without Lórien and Nenya to dwindle the forces of the Enemy, Erebor fared poorly in the war. The dwarves nonetheless held out long in the siege against the orcs and goblins of Mordor, but when Denethor sent forces from Gondor to aid the armies that had once been Sauron's and were now his, the dwarves thought that the Men were coming to their assistance. They sallied forth from the mountain, meaning to trap the orcs and goblins between the two armies…and were instead subjected to a vicious slaughter, as Mordor and Gondor fought side-by-side against them.

Denethor told Gimli, who had stayed in Minas Tirith with the thought that he would act as a delay on whatever pursuit would inevitable follow Legolas and the Grey Company, that his people's army has been decimated and the surviving dwarves are trapped in their mountain under a siege they have no hopes of either outlasting or escaping. He tells him that Dain is dead, and all the line of Durin, and every person living in the Lonely Mountain will be slaughtered if they continue to defy Gondor…or he can claim lordship of the mountain, and make peace with Gondor on Erebor's behalf, and so save them from destruction.

Gimli accepts the terms, because he sees no other choice. He accepts the Ring that Denethor insists he take (the Ring that once belonged to Durin, and which was reclaimed from Barad-dûr by Faramir's scouts, and brought to Denethor as Master of the Rings), if he is to be a vassal-lord of Gondor, for the same reason: he has not choice. He does what must be done, and he goes to Erebor, and he saves his people by damning them to Gondor's rule.

Dale was sacked and devastated, and Denethor declares it to be a vassal state of Erebor now, under the dominion of the dwarves. The farms of Dale deliver their crops to the Lonely Mountain, which disperses a share of the harvest back to them according to Denethor's will. Mirkwood belongs to the Nazgûl in Dol Guldur, but still has bands of elves in its trees, fighting and dying.

(As for Lórien…that story is told elsewhere.)

Merry and Pippin were in Edoras, and do not learn of what happened to everyone else until Queen Éowyn returns with the few survivors of Rohan's army. She will not be bound by a Ring yet, but in less than a year Denethor will demand more obsequience than he thinks Rohan is offering. (Partly this will be due to his own paranoia, earned under long years of striving against the Shadow with the palantir; part of this will be due to the bold temperament of Rohan in general and Éowyn in specific, and their dislike of all things that reek of the Shadow; the last part will be due to Sauron whispering in his ear, sowing division between the realms of Men.) Éowyn will be forced to take a Ring, the third of the three Nine Rings that was found in the ashes of Gandalf's death, and Rohan will now fall fully under Gondor's domination.

But that is later; for now, there is Saruman to consider. He slips out of Isengard, when the Ents tire of watching him. Knowing that he cannot oppose Gondor now that Denethor has claimed the One Ring and a victory over Sauron as well, he slips away to his fallback position in the Shire. That goes well enough for him, at first—but then Frodo and Sam come back from Gondor with a Ring on Frodo's hand and no mercy in his heart. Saruman does not know what to make of this quasi-wraith of a Halfling, and he makes the mistake of treating him like an ordinary Hobbit. Frodo is no longer someone who can be cowed, at least not by anything less than the One Ring itself: in his wrath at what the wizard has done to the Shire, he destroys Saruman using the power of his Ring, and so tips his soul entirely into its domination.

Sam remains loyal, though. Sam will always remain loyal to his Frodo.

#gimli dark lord of erebor au #lotr au #my writing #my stuff #lotr #fanfiction #gimli #frodo #boromir #denethor #sauron #legolas #aragorn #faramir #eowyn #samwise #boromir lives

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lalaloobzy · 5 months

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Random aspec fictional character HCs

Matthew Cuthbert (Anne With an E)

Asexual + aromantic

Lived his whole life unmarried like his sister but, unlike Marilla, never had any relationships in the past. Doesn't reciprocate Jeannie's feelings and tells her his love for his adopted daughter (Anne) is the only love he has room for. Was TERRIFIED when Anne tried to set him up with Jeannie.

*(this is specific to AWAE but I think it can apply to book Matthew as well)

Selah Summers (Selah and the Spades)

Asexual + aromantic

Tbh this one might be canon (or at least heavily implied). Never has been in a relationship. Admits to Paloma that she's just never been interested in anyone in a romantic or sexual way.

Monkey D. Luffy (One Piece)

Asexual + aromantic

Just doesn't seem remotely interested in romance or sex. Gets grossed out/ annoyed when people kiss in front of him.

*(this is specific to the anime, idk about the manga or live action adaptation)

**(I am not caught up on the anime, this may turn out to be incorrect)

Willie Jack Sampson (Reservation Dogs)

Asexual + aromantic

Never had a love interest or showed attraction in the show (to the best of my knowledge. If she did, I missed it). Also, THIS OUTFIT SPECIFICALLY. Her hoodie is aroace colors and her socks look like a mix of the asexual flag and the aromantic flag.

Lucy Wells (Harlots)

Grey asexual/ greysexual (+possibly aromantic? Maybe demiromantic? I haven't decided yet)

Born into prostitution but HATES sex. Avoids it as much as she can and by the last season finds a way to do her job without having to have sex. The reason I said grey ace is because she DOES seem sexually attracted to Fallon after some time of being with him (I think? I was a little confused about how she felt tbh).

Birdy (Birdy)

Asexual + demiromantic

Everyone in his life thinks it's weird that he's so interested in birds and not girls. Admits to Al he doesn't see the appeal of sex at all. Very reluctant to go to prom with Doris and had no idea what to do when she parked the car and offered him sex. I can see him developing romantic feelings after close friendship (like with Al) which is why I think he's demiromantic.

Bilbo AND Frodo Baggins (The Hobbit/ The Lord of the Rings)

Both asexual (+ maybe demiromantic, though I can also see Bilbo as aro)

Both remained bachelors all their lives. Bilbo lived alone and later with Frodo who was like an adopted son. Frodo lives for a long time with Sam and Sam's wife Rosie. I personally think that Sam and Frodo are in a romantic relationship, while Sam and Rosie are in a sexual relationship. Frodo seems content with this arrangement which is why I believe he's ace.

Ted Buckland (Scrubs)

Asexual

Simply because of the part where Carla says "I don't want any MAN filming me giving birth unless he's completely asexual" and then Ted walks in with a camera and Carla smiles and says "oh hi Ted!". (I think this was a poorly-aged joke about him being "ugly" more than anything but I'm still claiming it). Also when he sings the duet with Gooch and Gooch says "I want to screw you" while Ted says "I want to kiss you.

Fabian Rutter (House of Anubis)

Asexual

He's nerdy and into space (I know this is a stereotype but representation is scarce I take anything I can get... you get it right). Also his relationship with Nina is very innocent and I can't see him developing sexual attraction even when he becomes an adult.

Dirk Gently and Bart Curlish (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Dirk- Asexual

Bart- Aromantic

Neither of them have love interests in the show (although Bart/Ken may have been implied) so this is just how I felt about the characters personally. I think Dirk definitely had a crush on Todd and is gay but I don't think he gets sexual attraction. Bart is the opposite. I can see her developing sexual attractions and feelings but being repulsed by kissing/ dating etc.

*(this is specific to DGHDA, idk about any other versions of these characters)

Anybody feel free to add thoughts and your personal aspec character hcs <3

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sunnyrosewritesstuff · 8 months

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Okay, so I've decided to do Fic Rec Fridays at the end of the month now that I've been keeping a fanfic reading log. Guys. I've read A LOT of fic this month. 😅 Okay so I think the best thing is to organize this by rating and then word count. Please note that this is a pure reading log so I'm just listing fic, author, and small "what it's about".

For August I Read:

397,333 Words

20 Fics

17 Authors

Rating G:

AU-gust Mashups by @ahufflepuffhobbit- Short BOTFA fix-it with an ill-timed confession. Let's face it, this is how we all wanted to see BOTFA end.

Love Makes You Blind by thorinsbeard- Small little oneshot where Bilbo thinks Thorin is blind and can't stop staring. It had me rolling when Thorin told Bilbo he's an underwear model.

Mr Underhill's Finest Seafood Specialities by @nocompromise-noregrets- Oneshot from Frodo's POV as famous food critic, Thorin Oakeshield, arrives as his uncle's restaurant. All the interactions between the characters were fun as well as seeing Bagginshield through Frodo's eyes.

Teach Me Your Ways by airebellah- Multi-chapter story with refugee Thorin struggling through English, but he meets Bilbo who accepts him as he is. Honestly, super fluffy fic with lots of family moments that I really wish there was a sequel, but accept it as is.

Rating T:

Drawn by thorinsbeard- Oneshot where Bilbo stumbles upon some NSFW versions of himself in another cafe patron's sketchbook (in an uncreepy way). Will hope and anticipate a smutty sequel.

Prize Enough for Me by StrivingArtist- Two-shot with Bilbo chasing after Azog after believing he killed Thorin to enact his revenge. I'm always here for some BAMF Bilbo.

When Darkness Shines Brightest by @lordoftherazzles- Multi-chapter Hades/Persephone take. The introspection of Thorin's character blows me away in this fic.

Rating M:

How to Beat Gold Sickness by Epoxide- Cute oneshot where Fili and Kili decide that announcing that Bilbo is pregnant with Thorin's child will shake the gold sickness. Now I just need the sequel where Bilbo says that it's actually true.

Dating Blind by badskippy- Jealous waiter Thorin does sabotages Bilbo's blind dates. This was just perfect, and yes, Thorin does make up for it.

Sparks & Gardens by @fantasyinallforms- Down on his luck Thorin manages to get the best deal of his life when he becomes gentleman Bilbo Baggins handyman. Look, regency is normally not my taste, but this fic does such a good job of just making that the setting and not necessarily the theme (if that makes sense).

The Kitchen Thief by @mordellestories- Multi-chapter Tolkien AU (?) where Thorin still has dwarven blood but can get by with appearing as a human baker in a time where anyone else is treated with discrimination. I will forever be laughing at Bilbo's "oh no, it's the nutty baker" comment.

Stranded by @tickles-ivory- Multi-chapter AU where Thorin and Bilbo live in separate universes but find each other. Honestly, super cute concept and execution with fun "slice of life" chapters at the end.

My Love's a Noble Madness by silverneko9lives0- Bilbo works at an insane asylum where Thorin is a patient who thinks he's in love with him. Okay, I have to say that the tags on this had me scared for A LONG time, but there's actually 0 non-con after Thorin gets medicated and you find out the fucked up situation they find themselves in the beginning is all Azog/Sauron/Melkor's fault.

Rating E:

Look At You by thorinsbeard- Bilbo uses the ring to sneak into Thorin's room, accidentally witnessing the dwarf king masturbating. This fic is so hot and honestly another that I would 100% read a sequel for.

Evening Interlude by paranoid_fridge- Bilbo and Thorin have an evening to themselves for bondage fun. Seriously though, if you're wanting a fic with some heavy bondage kinks, this is the perfect fic.

If You Lend a King a Hand by Cranbear- Bilbo assists Thorin out in the woods, and they have come to an understanding regarding future engagements. Look, I just know this fic is going to checkmark some kinks for me and dom!Bilbo is just an added bonus.

Through the mist (I find you) by @consultingpacha- Thorin has developed amnesia after the events of BOTFA, and Bilbo returns to discover this as well as the fact that he's engaged. Guilty smut and angsty feelios galore (though we are promised a happy ending)!

Fuck Thy Neighbor by @lordoftherazzles- Thorin and Bilbo accidently got married in Bree after one drunken mistake and have now ended up as next door neighbors. This is the type of romcom shenanigans that I am 100% here for, featuring Roac tormenting Lobelia in this newest chapter!

Unrated:

the legend by Ineedtherapy (gethelp)- Bilbo thinks he's still banished and the Company thinks he's dead, and once this misunderstanding comes to light, Bilbo decides to travel with the returning caravan from Ered Luin. Bilbo probably dragged this out longer than necessary, but we're finally to the point where he reveals himself, and I need to know what happens next.

#sunny recs it #the hobbit #bagginshield #honestly i was a little shocked because this has been a bit of a busy month for me #no wonder i can never update on time...

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judgementdaysunshine · 1 year

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You're all I have

@yourlocalfriendlyhobbit

Pairing: Aragorn x Fem Teen reader

Description: You and aragorn share a heart to heart becoming the family the both of you never had

You fought off every orc that came your way even saving the others a few times until you find Aragorn and Boromir rushing to them. You cry hugging Boromir as Legolas watches from behind and aragorn holds onto to your shoulder both of you get up as you walk to legolas and Gimli bursting in to more tears as legolas gently pulls you in a hug gimli joining the hug holding your hand while aragorn carries and puts boromir in a boat. The four of you watch as the boat runs down the stream going down the waterfall as you all except aragorn find out that frodo and sam have gone on their own to Mordor leaving the four of you to go after the orcs to save Merry and Pippin then finish the journey of destroying the ring in mordor. You finally end up in Rohan after following the hobbit duo's trail, reuniting with gandalf who now went by gandalf the white instead of grey, and find guards of rohan who at first eye you suspiciously considering they randomly found a man, elf, dwarf, and teenager in the middle of almost nowhere which is rarely found anywhere in middle earth. "Are you okay?" you jump a little coming out of your thoughts by a kind and calm voice beside you turning to see the king's niece Eowyn put a cup of cold water and a hot bowl of soup infront of you which made your eyes water and stomach grumble "Yea just tired" you slowly eat and go to the guest room given to you taking a good warm bath and sleeping for a few hours which helped you alot and made you feel better than you had been in weeks. You stand outside looking at the land around you until you feel a hand on your shoulder turning to see aragorn beside you "I don't want you fighting...help eowyn with the women and children...she needs the help" he says as you stare at him "I'm not letting you fight alone...I know you have gimli and legolas but you're not going in alone" you say as he looks at you trying not to be upset "You are not going we can't let you get hurt or killed because none of us would ever forgive ourselves" you tear up at not only how much they cared but also at how terrified you were for them "I can't lose you because your all I have! I've lost everyone I love and I've been with the fellowship since mainly you if you get killed then i'd have no one" you cry as you walk away not knowing how upset he was with you but you thought it best to give him his space. You see legolas on the steps looking deep in thought so you sit beside him to calm down "I know your worried" he says looking at you "We're doing this to protect you...him mainly because if you did get badly hurt or killed...we would never ever forgive ourselves or each other for it...but he couldn't function ever again if it happened...he really cares about you...ever since we found you and you've been with us...he always does anything in his power so you don't see what we have seen and to just be a kid while you can..." you look at him full of tears sobbing into his arms as he holds you with tears in his eyes speaking elvish to you until you both went inside and eat dinner going to bed. You sit looking at the stars thinking of what happens tomorrow hearing someone sit beside you "I just want you to be safe...I'm not doing this because I want to hurt or upset you...I'm doing this so that all of us including you don't have to deal and experience something that could have been prevented" you look at aragorn seeing how emotional he is and how he is trying not to cry "I know...but I don't want to not do anything and feel like everyone else sacrificed everything while I still had everything" he looks at you as tears flowed down your face "You are protecting the most precious and loved thing in these people's lives that will never be replaced" you hug each other tightly crying more "You will never be alone cause you will be with me and Arwen" he moves wiping your face going inside passing legolas, gimli, and eowyn in the dinner hall going to your rooms and bed ready for tomorrow and your new life with aragorn and arwen.

#lord of the rings x reader #aragorn #lord of the rings #aragorn x reader

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frodo-with-glasses · 1 year

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'Avuncular' seems like a very Lord of the Rings-y word!

BOY does it! For those who don't know, Merriam-Webster defines avuncular as:

"suggestive of an uncle, especially in kindliness or geniality"

"of or relating to an uncle"

In layman's terms: uncle-related or uncle-ish. There's a lot of that going on in this book, and a lot to talk about!

Of course the epitomical example in LotR is Frodo and Bilbo. Now, pedants (like myself) will point out that they aren't technically uncle and nephew, but cousins; Frodo is Bilbo's first and second cousin, once removed on both sides. If I recall correctly—correct me if I'm wrong—Frodo never actually calls Bilbo his uncle in the books, nor does anybody else. It seems to be something the movies made up to fit their relationship into a neat little box and avoid unnecessary confusion in the audience. But given that Bilbo falls into the category of "too old to be a peer, not close enough to be a father, floating in-between in a vaguely mentorlike (but not particularly responsible) state", I'd say he definitely counts for the "uncle-ish" definition of avuncular.

The next uncle that comes to mind is 100% literal: Theoden! Fun fact, avuncular comes from the Latin word avunculus, which specifically means "maternal uncle" (as opposed to the paternal equivalent: patruus, according to one website). So, since Eowyn and Eomer are the children of his youngest sister, Theodwyn, Theoden actually fits the ancient definition as well! Appendix A tells us that Theoden "loved his sister dearly"—which I interpret to mean that he played favorites among his siblings and she was it—and that he took Eowyn and Eomer as his own after their parents died in quick succession while they were young. So, once again, he is both their uncle and kinda their dad.

The next uncle that comes to mind is Iorlas. To my knowledge, he is only mentioned ONCE in the book, but because I am obsessed with Beregond and Bergil and their family (and just have a general affinity for overthinking minor characters anyway), you BET I remembered him. Based on context clues, we can assume a few things about Iorlas: a) he is likely a maternal uncle as well, since everyone on the paternal side has a name that starts with "B" (Baranor, Beregond, Bergil); b) he might live in Lossnarch, which Bergil mentions as the place his grandfather lives; and c) he has a good relationship with his nephew. Bergil mentions him immediately upon hearing how old Pippin is, which to me says that Iorlas is a pretty constant fixture in Bergil's life, and is an adult that Bergil really likes. My personal headcannon is that Bergil idolizes Uncle Iorlas and thinks he hung the moon; only because he thinks Dad hung the sun.

And FINALLY, to round out this discussion of uncles in LotR, I will end with a mention of the uncle that I wish got to happen: Frodo, for Sam's kids. You can't tell me there wouldn't have been a lovely bit of poetic symmetry to Frodo getting to raise and mentor the little Gamgees in the exact same way Bilbo had done for him. I can't really see Frodo ever getting married and having children himself—like Bilbo, he seems to be an eternal bachelor, and I'm pretty sure if he wanted to get married he would have done it by now—but there's no doubt in my mind that he would have loved and nurtured and spoiled the heck out of all thirteen of Sam's little munchkins if he ever got the chance. Which is why the Magnolia AU exists. Because thinking about Frodo telling stories to an enthralled audience of little Gamgees (a few individuals of which are vying with each other for the coveted story-listening spot on his lap) just makes my heart feel whole.

WORD ASK GAME!

#word ask game #bilbo baggins #theoden #king theoden #iorlas #frodo baggins #magnolia au #lord of the rings #lotr #my writing #makes me wonder what kind of relationships tolkien had with any uncles in his life #he seems very fond of uncles in general! which is extremely sweet! makes me wonder about the potential real-life inspiration...#perhaps some of the tolkien nerds can fill me in here :-D or i can just google it LOL

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starsofarda · 1 year

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And I am here once again crying over The Two Towers.

When I feel low and depression strikes me I rewatch/reread the LotR trilogy and my favourite of the three books is the Two Towers.

I am 100% sure that Tolkien did not intend that, but I feel like it is a very good metaphor for depression et al.

Especially when we see Rohan, King Theoden and his people for the first time.

King Theoden is under Saruman's spell, has been for a while, Grima is poisoning his mind and cutting away all the good support system the King usually relies on, aka Eomer and the Rohirrim, the king's son dies, Eowyn is trapped between hammer and anvil and the whole thing feels hopeless.

Come on. This is King THeoden in the deepest thralls of his mental health issues Saruman's spell.

And then Gandalf arrives and - yeah, I did that in one of the "I can't articulate stuff" moments:

And King Theoden breathes again, finding once again his will to fight and live. Just like my own experiences with my mental health, but I ill not unpack that here.

And the thing is, it's not like King THeoden is suddenly happy, the struggle carries on:

"Who am I Gamling?"

"You are our King."

"And do you trust your King?"

And then again:

"Where is the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing? They have passed like rain on the mountain, like wind in the meadow. The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow."

And once again, at Helm's deep:

"So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?"

And yet Aragorn is there to support him,saying "Ride with me" and the consequent quote really drives in thepoint for me. He is struggling, but he will not let evil overcome everything.

"The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep one last time. Let this be the hour when we draw swords together. Fell deeds awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin, and the red dawn. Forth Èorlingas!"

I find this such a good metaphor for mental health and its struggles, all of this gives me so much hope and courage - and here I am crying again.

This is paralleled wel with Frodo and his own struggle against the ring's power and Sam is there reminding him that the struggle is real, but we have to keep going on nevertheless.

I love this piece of media/book so much.

This constantly strikes a chord in me and reminds me, a disabled, chronically ill person that I too have my own Saruman and Grima and my own Uruk-hai to fight against. I have my own Rohan to defend.

Now, again, Tolkien probably never meant to tell Rohan and King Theoden this way, but is this not the beauty of finding something that we can relate to that can help us on our own journey?

Anyway, I love Rohan, I love the character of King Theoden, Eowyn and Eomer and I just wanted to get this out in the sun.

I am now going to cry more.

#the lord of the rings #lotr #king theoden #rohan #meta #let's call this meta but really it's more like a rant #parallels #mental health #theoden #the two towers

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yamcat · 2 days

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ten faves in ten fandoms

I was tagged by the ever lovely @saltedpin , thank you for thinking of me, this was so much fun <333!!!!

Golden Kamuy: this is a tough one for me, because one of the things I love the most about this story is just how well written and intriguingly fleshed out each character is, especially in relation to eachother and to the story itself, but I think I will go with the OG who captured my interest right away, Tsukishima Hajime. Yes we love an unhealthy and obsessive relationship with authority and sense of duty, throw in the belief of living on borrowed time and therefore a life that can't possibly belong to you anymore, and I'm all yours.

Haikyuu!!: the thing is that I've always been IN love with Daichi, but Oikawa is the one who I have always felt the strongest for. A proud dramatic overachiever who cares too much but pretends like he doesn't, genuinely passionate about what he loves to the point it risks consuming him; a tough bitch as much as a sensible nerd. I care for him a lot.

HunterxHunter: Gon, my precious little feral kid who gets traumatized over and over again, but still decides to be kind. What I love the most about him, though, is that he is never portrayed to be inherently good; he is stubborn and occasionally selfish because of his nature as much as because he is just 12 y/o and he doesn't know any better, which is what makes him as lovable and charming as he is.

Helluva Boss: I know I'm not too loud about it, but I have been utterly in love with this show for a good couple months now, as well as with the helluva boss himself, Blitzø. He is a raunchy little imp who severely struggles with self-love and therefore does his best to push away every opportunity he has at a good and healthy relationship because who could possibly love him, right? but he genuinely TRIES, and sometimes he succeeds too, plus, he's still always there for the one he cares about. and honestly, he is just so fucking funny, he has my entire heart.

Dungeon Meshi: Laios, the supposedly knight archetype who does eventually fulfill his destiny, but in the messiest way, unwilling, and at the cost of what he loves the most. There are so many characters I genuinely like in this story, but I am too fascinated and amused by Laios' obsession with monsters and how it makes him so smart and so dumb at the same time to not love him the most. I'm sorry, apparently I have a particular liking for people who are extremely passionate about what they love.

Star Trek: I was unsure about who to choose between Spock and Kirk until the very end, but I have to say Spock. His double heritage and the way he navigates it, all the suffering and treasures he finds in feeling less and more, misunderstood and capable of understanding more than anyone else the multiplicity that deeply characterizes the universe he explores and is so curious about. Rarely I have empathized so much with a character before. Plus, he can be a dramatic bitch, Spirk divorce ark Spock is my favorite Spock.

Tiger & Bunny: honestly both of them, but for the sake of the game I shall say Bunny a.k.a. Barnaby Brooks Jr., my favorite traumatized model face babe with deeply rooted trust issues who completely falls in love with a hot loser single dad who has the tendency to help everyone else but himself. A match made in heaven. And me with them

LOTR: Frodo Baggins. No one understands him like I do....

FMA: my heart is divided between Olivier Armstrong and Riza Hawkeye, because what's not to love about strong, gorgeous, mature, cunning, intelligent, trust-worthy, powerful women? Different flavors, but equally delicious.

Saiyuki: Genjo Sanzo. In a few words, a trigger-happy, easily annoyed, short-tempered Buddhist monk who overly smokes and drinks. In a lot of words, please read Saiyuki.

I'm tagging whoever sees this and wants to do it, it is a lot of fun! And of course, please feel free to @ me if you so wish to!

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luwupercal · 9 months

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warmup doodles potpourri #1 (days 1-10)

contents: eye strainy colors/near pure CMYK, crackships, bad music with weird lyrics, abaddon, traced doodles, the usual caliber of suggestive joke you find on this webbed site, links to sad poems, and primarch errant au

july 4th: traced fulgrim/ostian doodle

source. its a draw the squad meme, sorta

if you don't remember him Ostian Delafour is the remembrancer sculptor from fulgrim the novel lol. i've probably mentioned i think shipping him with fulgrim is funny before but i don't think i've ever realized it to any extent? in the book he's pursued by two, respectfully somewhat unstable girlypops, i think it would be really funny to add a third larger one to the mix. also (ostian voice) i can't fix him mr frodo. but i can fuck him

image description: a simple drawing of Fulgrim and Ostian Delafour from warhammer 40k. they are sharing a bed, their sides pressed together. Ostian is a normally-sized man with darker skin and short curly hair, wearing a pair of sweatpants. he's blushing furiously. Fulgrim is a huge man, easily twice as tall as Ostian, fit and with long white hair, with lighter skin, only wearing a pair of boxer briefs. he's looking at Ostian and smiling, one eyebrow raised. he's too large for the bed, his legs hanging off it, and one of his arms is slightly squishing Ostian. the drawing is done in purple hues. end image description.

july 8th: two idiots

the story behind this (ft @horuslupercal):

image descriptions: the first image is a scribbled doodle of ezekyle abaddon and horus lupercal in a simple style, drawn on top of a small light blue rectangle on a white canvas. horus is holding abaddon close to himself and attempting to draw on his eyelid. abaddon, who's squinting angrily, is resisting by placing his entire hand on horus's face, as if to push him away. horus looks disappointed at this development

the second and third images are screenshots of a discord conversation, with nicknames redacted, dated to "yesterday", 2:13 AM. user luwupercal says "also calling upon you bc youre the only one posting rn [@ user horuslupercal] gimme something to draw in this rectangle. anything of your choice". attached to the message is a screenshot of a small light blue rectangle on a larger digital canvas. user horuslupercal replies "abaddon squirming like a wild animal while horus tries to give him eyeliner". luwupercal replies "Hella, incoming". end image descriptions.

july 9th: magenta snake-eating ferrus

this one is a little more elaborate so i might post it independently if i like it enough in a while

the lyrics are from yum yumm by the pompoms. forewarning: this song is not very good in my opinion! but i like it anyway if only for these perplexing fucking lyrics. what do they mean?? i don't know. but they're ferrus core anyways

it's not very visible also but the ear on the left of his face is a cauliflower ear lol bc i thought it was fitting. i want to update the way i draw ferrus to differentiate him more from his fellow baldies/short haired dudes. idk if the broken nose will stick, i might give it to horus or perturabo, we'll see. i also dk why he doesn't have eyebrows i forgor to draw them. also the screenshotted lyrics r straight from spotify & the magenta + blue are lifted from the album cover for this song ok yeah

image description: a bust drawing of ferrus manus in greyscale and bright magenta. he's seen at an angle, looking at the viewer with a frown. he has a very square jawline, a broken nose, a widow's peak, and a cauliflower ear, and he's wearing a black tanktop. his eyes are solid magenta. next to him is a cut-up screenshot of black text on magenta background, reading "I eat hoes like you, no plate, no fork, no sauce / Just live raw snakes". the background of the image is a diagonal pastel gradient from purplish-magenta to light blue, framed by an uneven magenta rectangle. end image description.

extra note: i keep associating ferrus with magenta? here's an excerpt from a fic i have half-written. (this is from the primarch errant au where ferrus beats fulgrim at isstvan and separates him from the blade of laer; specific context is that fulgrim is wrapped up in a shock blanket telling ferrus about everything that happened leading up to isstvan). roll quote:

Besides, the palpable magenta Fulgrim's recollection was tinged with makes Ferrus sick to his stomach. He'd always felt uneasy around that color, what with it being fake and all. There's no getting used to evidence of your own failure. But he doesn't say that, because fuchsia's loud and startling. Poison is neon. Though then again, so is the shock blanket.

idk something about magenta being a color that doesn't exist makes me think about ferrus. i feel like he'd be annoyed about that bc hes that kind of guy lol but it's also kinda metaphorical for his own life(?). + it's the color that kills him kinda bc it's slaanesh's color... it could be a powerful color motif for his and fulgrims relationship to each other lol idk. and the snake thing above is also a thing abt these two bc when is it not, it's the whole, fulgrim wasn't a snake until he stole it from ferrus thing i think a lot about all the time

july 9th part 2: this

redraw of this (heres a reblog with alt text). i dont think it needs further explanation

image description: a two panel comic drawn in purple of ferrus and fulgrim from warhammer 40k. the first panel shows ferrus saying "My knees hurt from sucking dick" with a forlorn expression. fulgrim enthusiastically calls out in response "What were you suckin dick or something". in the second panel ferrus looks back at fulgrim scandalized while fulgrim looks at him with a shocked and disturbed expression. end image description

july 10th: radioactive piss emperor

quote from a toast to the alchemists by laura giplin

image description: a simple bust doodle of the emperor of mankind from warhammer 40k. he's a man with a thin face, a long neck and long, middle-parted wavy hair. he has a halo in the form of a doodled laurel crown. he has a neutral facial expression. there are heavy shadows covering the upper half of his face, including his eyes, as well as part of his hair and neck. the lines of the drawing are black with bright yellow copies underneath. overlaid where his eyes would be is a screenshot of text reading: "and gold, you can make / gold, an isotope so / radioactive it would / sparkle before your eyes." the text is duplicated in yellow too. end id

the meaning behind this one is like. ok. the poem is exalting the miraculous advances of modern science in the eyes of a medieval alchemist and obviously there is the immediate layer in this drawing of like, haha hes bright golden and hes toxic as fuck thus radioactive but also ive been learning recently through youtube video essays about like, the history of the study of physics throughout the 20th century and all the absolute nightmares that have occurred throughout, theres some bits that really stick with me like a woman being denied due to sexism participation in an experiment that couldve won her a nobel prize - that experiment being the detonation of a nuke over the open ocean & collection of whatever new chemical elements waft up to the atmosphere in the smoke. or ronald raegans existance just generally. and so theres something kind of, it's mournful that the alchemist will never see this but to me in a way it's mournful in a tear-stained dirty-faced way, like, because of all the horrors we've committed for science... anyway that overlaid on the emperor and his weird... pseudo scientific shit for an advancement of mankind that humankind might genuinely be better off without, i find parallels. i also think theres a lot of weight on the following lines in the context of a comparison to the emperor: "Alchemists, / you were right. / It is magic." because such a beautiful sentiment turns really sinister when thinking about the emperors pseudoscience: he was always lying. you cant build a guy that ignores the square cube law. it is magic

i phrased all of that in a deeply stupid way but youre looking at my doodles. youre in geralds world now baby

(i have a lot of thoughts about poetry! i will take the moment to link some poems i like, or things i consider poems at the very least:

"the night shift" by tumblr user goodbyevitamin

"lies about sea creatures" by ada limón

untitled ("to tboy") by anonymous/"tgirl"

this excerpt from "three of swords" by tumblr user gender0bender (link to full zine)

"not horses" by natalie shapero [cw: animal abandonment &/ death]

untitled ("gambling with angels is easy") by tumblr user play-now-my-lord

"how to be a dog" by andrew kane [cw: animal abandonment &/ cruelty].

yes most of these are kind of sad oops. i like sad poetry bc it sticks with me! but if you want a sweet one there's "to tboy" above and i can also link you to "gathering green tomatoes by the rain" by jeff mann, aka an actual published poem lol)

july 10th part 2: handwriting headcanons (or, headwriting handcanons?)

in the usual reading order: Fulgrim, Perturabo, Night Haunter aka Konrad Curze, Angron, Mortarion, Magnus (the red), Horus Lupercal, and Lorgar

image description: a series of handwritten names. first in purple in a cursive script is "Fulgrim". colored grey, in an angular, all-caps script is "Perturabo". colored dark blue, in a childish scrawl, is "Night Haunter". colored dark red, in a wobbly all-caps script, is "Angron". in a round, "bubbly" cursive script, colored pastel green, is "Mortarion". colored bright red, in an illegible chickenscratch cursive scrawl, is "Magnus (the red)". in a carefully-typed semi-cursive script, colored dark green, is "Horus Lupercal". finally, in a golden mustard yellow are a series of runes, meaning "Lorgar", with the word typed in a computer font to the runes' side as clarification. everything is written on a series of light gray lines. end description

i didn't QUITE nail fulgrim's and these are not at all set in stone, except for magnus's and ~5/6ths of lorgar's lol. i've tried to do fulgrim's handwriting before (thats what inspired me to do this, finding that again), this i think remains my favourite attempt ever at fulgrim's handwriting:

image description: tiny purple cursive script reading "no.", underlined, atop the corner of a mostly unseen form or template. end id

my notes for the rest: perturabo's script is surprisingly fast to write but i'm also partial to him having illegible cyrillic doctor script, KC/NH's was achieved through lifting my elbow way too high (i do not freehand) and is indeed aiming for little kid, angron's was achieved through using my left hand, mortarion gets round bubbly cursive because i think it's "mathematician handwriting" for some reason?, i've mentioned before i think magnus writes in illegible chickenscratch, horus has weird script bc he learned to write from either custodes or the emperor or both, and lorgar is writing in colchisian script here - ive posted, maybe, some bits of my colchisian script? but heres a guide just in case:

image descriptions: the first image is a set of digitally hand-drawn glyphs, standing in for the following letters: P, R, A, I, S, E, B, T, O, H, L, D, Y, F and G, the last of which is drawn with a different brush and in a different color, and labeled "(New!)". the second image is a copy of the first, with multicolored arrows on top of the letters' lines, to indicate how they're written. end description

edit: I forgot I also made U lmao, it's like O but the lines at the top go up creating a diamond shape instead of a heart(?) one

i'll get around to doing the full colchisian cypher alphabet at some point. also the font i used for lorgars name and above in the sucking dick comic is atkinson hyperlegible my beloved and no.1

and july 10th part 3: its britney bitch

image description: a drawing of fulgrim traced over the "Stop Being Poor" britney spears meme image. he's a muscular man with brown skin and long, white/lavender hair, smiling cheerfully and with his hands thrown up in the air. he's wearing a long purple skirt and a cream tank top that says "Stop Being Poor" down his chest in large all-caps text. the background is a photo of people at a concert, with fulgrim drawn onstage. end id

yeah this one is self explanatory too

#lines #*fulgrim #i will do a big compilation of my favs at the end of the month i think #*july doodles

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rphelperblog · 1 year

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Truly Devious Book Quote Rp Meme

book by Maureen Johnson- feel free to edit or change pronouns for rp purposes

“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.”

“There is nothing so serious as a game.”

“But I’m usually right. The people who worry are always right. That’s how that works.”

“I’m a strong believer in truth in advertising.”

“When you have enough power and money, you can dictate the meanings of words.”

“As a writer, are those really the words you want to use?”

“You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they’re supposed to be.”

“I like to look nice when I go to see His Majesty, the Burger King.”

“Panic attacks are mean little freaks.”

“Why was she so anxious? Because she had anxiety.”

“I always wanted stories to be real, so I started writing my own.”

“Anything is better than doing what I'm supposed to be doing.”

“Where her books were, she was. Get the books right and the rest will follow. Now she could address the rest of the room.”

"I'll drink the living blood of trees,- maple syrup.”

“Few words are more chilling when put together than make friends.”

"Believe me. I'm aware. It's an effective way to communicate if you don't have any other options. If you can't get in through the door, throw a rock through the window. And I think maybe you're the same way.”

Their idea of what constituted interesting was so limited. They were never going to have as much fun as she did.”

“His voice was deep and smooth and rich, like what gravy might sound like if gravy could talk.”

“What serves on either side, and if you wish to hide, may protect you from your foe, or show him where to go?”

“Sometimes you have to leave the fucking Shire, Frodo.”

“Games are not fun when you don't know you're playing.”

“How could she be anxious when everything was so cheerful? Very easily, as it happens. Brain chemistry doesn’t care about how pretty things are.”

“Meet my dead dad,"

“Money should never stand in the way of learning.”

“We have a limited emotional vocabulary. We’re indoor kids.”

“The whole thing smelled like a thrift shop that had been baked in a low oven and felt like a too-tight and too-long hug by a rejected Muppet.”

“He had a smile like a hammock—just get in, go to sleep, forget your troubles and cares.”

“The moon was thin like a hook, and the owls were calling. The smell of fall leaves blew on the wind and he was dead.”

“The thing about looking just a little bit means it’s really easy to look a little bit more.”

“There is something about early mornings that changes your perceptions subtly. The light is new; no one has put on the defenses of the day. All is reset and not quite real yet.”

"It's not bad or good. It just is. That's something you'll find out if you decide to go into this line of work. You have to take things as they are, not how you hear they're supposed to be.

“There is something about early mornings that changes your perceptions subtly. The light is new; no one has put on the defences of the day. All is reset and not quite real yet.”

"I liked you from the first moment I saw you, when you looked like you wanted to punch me in the face for just being alive. That probably says something dark about me. And I think you like me because I annoy you. Both of us have real problems, but maybe we should make our weird personalities work for us.”

“People say depression lies. Anxiety is just stupid. It’s unable to tell the difference between things that are actually scary (being buried alive, for example) and things that are not scary at all (being in bed under the covers). It hits all the same buttons. Stop. Go. Up. Down. It’s all the same to anxiety.”

“How did everyone else know how to do yoga?

The one advantage to all of this was that it cleared Stevie's mind of everything. She heard exercise did that. Was this what they meant? You were so busy being confused and trying to stop your sweaty hands from slipping on a mat that you couldn't think anymore?”

“There is a mistaken notion that wealth makes people content. It does the opposite, generally. It stirs a hunger in many - and no matter what they eat, they will never be full.”

"How would I know? Do I look like I go to a lot of dances?"

“That was something they taught you in anxiety therapy- the thoughts may come, but you don't have to chase them all. It was sort of the opposite of good detective work, in which you had to follow every lead.”

“Shock is a funny thing. Things get both sharp and fuzzy. Time stretches and distorts. Things come rushing into focus and seem larger than they are. Other things vanish to a single point.”

“Last things were so strange. Most people had no control over of what their last acts would be.”

“Sherlock said, “I consider that a man’s brain originally is like a little empty attic, and you have to stock it with such furniture as you choose.”

#maureen johnson #open to all #open to anyone #open rp #ask meme #rp meme #open meme #open to anybody #roleplay meme #ask prompt #memes #book rp meme #book quote meme #book rp #booklr #open to everyone #open roleplay

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dreamicus · 2 years

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Oh buddy I just found this in my drafts. My borofeels

There's something terribly lonely about the way Boromir went out, and it couldn't be further from how he lived

The thing about it is all of what we learn after the fact. While he's alive, we don't hear all that much; he mentions his brother, though not by name, it's pointed out at times that he's the Steward's son, he takes great pride in Gondor and respects the Rohirrim a lot, defends them before the Council.

Now, that respect he has doesn't sound personal, and his family doesn't seem to play a big role in the story; until it is, and until it does, of course.

Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli reach Rohan, and Éomer immediately wants to know what happened with Boromir, upon hearing they travelled with him

Both Éomer and later Theoden are pretty devastated to learn about his demise, and we, the reader find out that Boromir didn't just respect the Rohirrim, he seemed more like them than like a man of Gondor.

Frodo and Sam reach Ithilien, and they meet Faramir, who wants to know why his brother had to die. Admittedly, Faramir doesn't lose a genuine good word about him, but he mattered, nonetheless.

Later on, in Minas Tirith, we meet Beregond, one of the four survivors from Osgiliath's bridge, and he explains what happened; we meet Denethor, struck by grief and despairing, we meet Prince Imrahil, we learn about Finduilas, and we learn about the impact this character had on his environment.

The guy had friends, family, two entire nations he cared about a great deal; who cared about him, too, because he was kind and skilled and willing to give his all for them over and over.

And doesn't that SUCK?

'Cause, for the entire time we knew him living, he was among strangers, in lands he didn't know, where no one knew him and few knew of him. He doesn't exactly get to do a lot, is often in disagreement with the rest of the Fellowship; after all, he knows at this point for a fact he will not go to Mordor with the rest. And then he dies after hitting rock bottom, and only then do we learn about what he meant to the people of his homeland. And we get to see how his death affects those people!

He's really damn important to people, beloved even, and then he dies and they don't even find his body. Just a shattered horn.

He dies by Amon Hen, a desolate, abandoned forest that was formerly part of Gondor. He dies in a futile (though not meaningless) attempt to save two Hobbits, a kind that most people have never even heard of, at the hands of, just, too many Orcs, he dies with only one other man there to witness and his last words are "I have failed."

And, Gondor's Captain and the Steward's Heir can't even get a proper funeral, because there's just no time. So they send him down Anduin and the Rauros-Falls, and the ocean eventually takes him.

He drifts off in his funeral boat and that's the last anyone sees of him.

This post is not about Sean Beanromir!!

#lord of the rings #lotr #two towers #return of the king #fellowship of the ring #boromir #ramblings #spring means im in my boromir feelings #my borofeels #I don't hate beanromir but thats not what this is about

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griseldabanks · 11 months

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Rosie Runs to Rivendell AU: Eavesdropping

(I'm not posting this on AO3 or FFNet yet, because I wanted to get feedback on the direction I'm taking with it, and see if I need any course-correction. Also, I have no idea what the title should be, because "Rosie Runs to Rivendell" just doesn't quite sound right ^^' Please give me any constructive criticism you have!)

It was a beautiful April morning when Rose Gamgee's life changed forever.

The day had begun splendidly. After several dismal, drizzly days, the Sun had finally poked her head out from behind the clouds, drying out the grass and warming up the flowers all along Bagshot Row. Sam had plenty of trimming and pruning to keep himself busy, and Granny Gamgee had taken Elanor off Rose's hands. “It's a fine day for dancin' on the grass and pickin' flowers, and we'll have a picnic by and by, won't we, my dear?” Granny had said, leading her granddaughter by the hand as the little girl stumped along on her chubby little legs.

Rose was grateful for the reprieve, for she had a busy day ahead of her, and as sweet as Elanor was, she was only two, and had a tendency to get underfoot. That was the last thing Rose needed today of all days, for Mr. Frodo had company. Important, surprise, last-minute company—though, the way Sam told it, one learnt to expect the unexpected when said company was Mr. Gandalf.

Rose knew that most folk looked askance at Mr. Gandalf. Not only was he one of the Big Folk, he was a wizard. Who knew where he came from, or what unnatural magic he might bring with him. Some said he might turn you into a toad or a snake if you looked at him funny. A troublemaker, they called him. A disturber of the peace.

Sam didn't hold with such nonsense, and wasn't afraid to say so, no matter who brought it up. “He can't help that he's big and from foreign parts, and he's a great friend to Mr. Frodo. Besides,” he would always add, as if it sealed the deal, “he's a friend to the Elves.”

Normally, that wouldn't be enough to convince Rose not to want to hide anytime she saw that pointed grey hat appearing over the hill. But her Sam was the stoutest Hobbit she knew (except perhaps her own father), with a sensible head on his shoulders. Perhaps he was a little more enamored with Elves than was wise, but if he said Mr. Gandalf was all right, then she trusted his judgment.

“Well, I had better, hadn't I?” she said to herself with a toss of her red curls, the few times the subject had come up. “If I'd married someone I couldn't trust, I'd be as silly as Daisy Bellweather's chickens!”

So, when Mr. Gandalf showed up in the evening, unannounced but not unwelcome, in the well-tended garden of Bag End, Rose had rolled up her sleeves and gone straight to work in the kitchen. After all, how else was she to repay Mr. Frodo for his generosity in letting her small family live with him in Bag End, if not by seeing to it that everyone in it had the finest food in all the Shire?

This had been the first time Mr. Gandalf had come to visit Mr. Frodo since Rose had married Sam and moved into Bag End. So if her hands shook a little as she carried in the tea tray, perhaps she could be excused. But Mr. Gandalf and Mr. Frodo were deep in conversation about far-off lands Rose had never heard of, so they paid her little mind except for a brief word of thanks. And when Mr. Gandalf had accepted the teacup she tremblingly offered him, she caught the hint of a smile beneath those bushy eyebrows and long beard.

Now, the next morning, Rose stood at the kitchen table, up to her elbows in flour, kneading the last of three batches of bread dough. Big Folk had big appetites—though not as big as a Hobbit's, Rose thought with a smile. After the bread, she'd get started on some seed-cakes, then see what sort of greens could be gathered in the garden for lunch.

The windows were thrown open to let in the warm, fresh breeze. She smiled at the wet, green scent of cut grass as much as the sound of Sam's tuneless whistling as he strolled back and forth past the window. From the next room, Rose could hear the low rumble of Mr. Gandalf's voice, which had been going on for a while now. Rose had been tuning it out for quite some time, like the drone of a bee in the background. But suddenly, her attention was arrested by Mr. Frodo's raised voice.

“Gollum! Gollum? Do you mean that this is the very Gollum-creature that Bilbo met? How loathsome!”

Rose remembered when Mr. Frodo had told Elanor bedtime stories of Mr. Bilbo's adventures—made to sound cheerful and unthreatening to a little lass's ears, of course. But even Mr. Frodo's watered-down recounting of that horrid Gollum had given Elanor nightmares for weeks. And then Sam had told Rose the points Mr. Frodo had glossed over, and she had been the one starting awake in a cold sweat in the middle of the night.

Despite the chill running down her spine, Rose found herself inching closer and closer to the doorway as she listened to Mr. Gandalf's story about how he had traced Gollum's steps since Mr. Bilbo had escaped him. There was a lot she didn't understand about their conversation, but one thing she did glean was that the ring Mr. Bilbo had won in the riddle-game was very dangerous—dangerous in part because there was someone who wanted it, wanted it even more desperately than Gollum, and would stop at nothing to get it.

And so it had to be destroyed. Mr. Frodo had to take it to someplace called Mordor, and throw it into a fiery mountain where it would be destroyed before it wrought things too terrible for words.

Rose's fingers clenched around fistfuls of her apron. This wasn't a bedtime story. This wasn't a nightmare that she would wake from and let fade away with the sunrise. This was really happening. Mr. Frodo was going away—farther away than Rose could even imagine.

But suddenly Mr. Gandalf grew still, poised like a cat eyeing a field mouse. And then, just like the cat, he sprang upon his prey. His hand darted through the open window and pulled Sam to his feet from where he'd apparently been crouching just out of sight. Rose stifled a gasp in her apron, but no one seemed to have heard her.

“Well, well, bless my beard!” Mr. Gandalf exclaimed. “Sam Gamgee, is it? Now, what may you be doing?”

“Lor bless you, Mr. Gandalf, sir!” Sam said. Rosie could see him trembling all the way across the room. “Nothing! Leastways, I was just trimming the grass-border under the window, if you follow me.”

“I don't,” Mr. Gandalf snapped. “It is some time since I last heard the sound of your shears. How long have you been eavesdropping?”

“Eavesdropping, sir? I don't follow you, begging your pardon. There ain't no eaves at Bag End, and that's a fact.”

“Don't be a fool! What have you heard, and why did you listen?”

Rose couldn't bear to stay silent any longer. “Begging your pardon, sirs,” she said, stepping into the room. When Mr. Gandalf spun to face her with bristling eyebrows and eyes glinting like coals, her heart quailed inside her chest, but she stood firm. “I'm sure my Sam meant no harm, only...only please don't turn him into anything unnatural. I don't know what I should say to Elanor if she come home to find her papa's become a toad!”

Sam shot her a glance of mingled fear and gratitude, while Mr. Frodo brought his hand away from his mouth as if he'd been stifling a laugh. “Don't worry, Sam, he won't hurt you. But just you up and answer his questions straight away.”

“Well, sir,” Sam said, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. “I heard a deal that I didn't rightly understand, about an enemy, and rings, and Mr. Bilbo, sir, and dragons, and a fiery mountain, and—and Elves, sir. I listened because I couldn't help myself, if you know what I mean. Lor bless me, sir, but I do love tales of that sort.”

Rose knew all too well the gleam that entered Sam's eyes any time Elves were mentioned. He could talk about Elves till his tongue fell straight out of his head—but she loved him even so.

“And you, my dear?” Mr. Gandalf turned his keen gaze back upon Rose, but this time she thought she detected a twinkle of humor in their depths, and took courage from that.

“Aye, some of them tales are very pretty indeed, sir, though some are mighty sad—“ Then she realized Mr. Frodo was grinning again. Her hands flew up to cover her face. “Oh...you mean, was I listening too, sir? I'm sorry, Mr. Frodo, I didn't mean to, only I heard raised voices and then you started talking about that horrid Gollum creature, and....”

To her immense relief, Mr. Gandalf began to laugh, and Mr. Frodo soon joined in. Hoisting Sam straight through the window, Mr. Gandalf set him down beside his wife and looked upon them both, hands on hips. Sam's warm hand clasped around Rose's, dirt mixing with flour under their fingernails.

“Well, well,” Mr. Gandalf said, eyes twinkling. “So you heard that Mr. Frodo is going away, did you? Now, what are we to do with the two of you?”

“I did, sir,” Sam said, looking earnestly across the room at Mr. Frodo. “And that's why I choked: which you heard, seemingly. I tried not to, sir, but it burst out of me, I was so upset.”

Rose could see the tears building up in the corners of his eyes, and squeezed his hand in comfort. She loved their kind master dearly, but it was nothing to how Sam felt, she knew. They'd grown up together, and for all that Mr. Frodo was a gentlehobbit, he never put on any airs nor looked down at the common folk. She knew Sam admired him for that, as well as for his wisdom and his connection to Elves and other magical beings simple hobbits could scarce imagine.

Frodo was almost like an older brother to Sam. It felt presumptuous to even think, but it was true. He didn't treat them like servants, though he allowed them to serve him. It as almost like they were family. Elanor even called him 'Uncle.'

And now he was going away.

Going...alone. Going from danger to danger, meeting with Elves and Dwarves and goodness only knew what else. Going away like old Mr. Bilbo, perhaps never to be seen again, leaving the three of them with nothing but memories....

Mr. Frodo sighed, a weight seeming to settle on his shoulders as he fingered something in his pocket. “It can't be helped, Sam, Rosie. I shall have to go. But if you really care about me, you will keep that dead secret. See? If you don't, if you even breathe a word of what you've heard here—“

“You needn't fear, Mr. Frodo,” Rose found herself saying. “You needn't fear my Sam letting anything slip, for he's going with you.”

#lord of the rings #lotr #rosie runs to rivendell au #rose gamgee #samwise gamgee #frodo baggins #gandalf #this is actually the first time i've ever even ATTEMPTED lotr fanfic #took me 20+ years to get my writing ability halfway decent i guess #also...it feels wrong to criticize the Professor #but...i disagreed with some of his punctuation choices and changed them accordingly when copying out dialogue #*hides under desk*

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devious-little-milkmaiden · 3 months

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All the Movies I Watched in 2023

This is a very long post so buckle up! (And I'm sorry. I love movies.)

Ticket to Paradise (2022)

5/5. I expected this movie to be a bad cash-grab, but was surprised to find that it had plenty of redeeming qualities. Maybe that's attributable to the charm of Julia Roberts and George Clooney. A lighthearted watch that's enjoyable if you allow yourself to relax and not treat every movie like it has to be a cinematic masterpiece.

Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (2022)

4.5/5. I am so, so ready for a Knives Out, Sherlock Holmes-esque series. This movie was so, so entertaining, and presented a mystery that was different from the first in Knives Out, yet equally enjoyable.

Signs (2002)

4.5/5. Mel Gibson, Rory Culkin, and Joaquin Phoenix are absolutely amazing in this movie. Definitely one of Shyamalan's stronger films, but the ending is weak and doesn't support the weight of the rest of the movie. The concept of combining a tragic backstory for characters in a horror/thriller movie certainly isn't new, and by all accounts this movie could suffice without it, but I think it is a good contribution to its depth and themes. I was watching this in class and when M. Night Shyamalan appeared someone said, with full sincerity, "Who's that random Indian?" 🫥

The Theory of Everything (2014)

4.5/5. I love Eddie Redmayne, and his performance was pretty good. This biopic suffers from the pitfall of refusing to portray their subject as a human (someone who makes good and bad choices), opting instead to paint them as a god-like figure (insisting that they are incredibly moralistic even if it's clear that they aren't), which I think takes away from the intelligence of the film. There's no harm in showing Stephen Hawking as a normal person, and I think more biopics should have a little less bias. Good soundtrack.

Where the Crawdads Sing (2022)

2.5/5. It was fine. It was hard for me to stay invested or care about the characters. Pretty cliche, and didn't have much nuance considering the plot. I think you could live without ever seeing this movie.

Twilight (2008)

2/5. A great movie to play in the background while doing something else. That baseball scene is fantastic though. Romance is bad. I'm pretty sure Carlisle Cullen is Lestat. Alice Cullen's hair is my everything.

Senseless (1998)

2.5/5. This movie is bad, but somehow I can't help but love Marlon Wayans' surprisingly vulnerable performance. He has an effortless charm. David Spade and Matthew Lillard are two of my longtime favorites, and both of them give a solid delivery in their respective typecasts.

Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

4.5/5. More children's movies should take themselves seriously!!! More children's movies should treat their primary audience with respect and intelligence!!! Children are more intelligent than we give them credit for!!! Thank you to this movie for understanding that. The animation was incredible, such a beautiful watch. I've said this before and I will not be quieted: Puss is Zorro's fursona.

The Lost Boys (1987)

3.5/5. "AAA THEYRE COMING AAAA" I love Keifer Sutherland, and I wish there was more of him in this movie tbh. Kind of boring. I think this could be remedied with more Keifer Sutherland.

Grease (1978)

2/5. I honestly do not get the appeal of this movie. I like Sandy and love Frenchie, but the musical aspect is a little underwhelming and the story is (and I'm sorry) just godawful. I'm referring less to its problematic aspects and more how frustrating it is, misunderstandings and such.

LOTR: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)

5/5. Peter Jackson Gets It. His love for the book series and the world of Middle Earth is just so evident in this movie's intricacies and imagination, yet it also strays away from the book in ways that I think are really good, such as some of the dialogue choices (Frodo's a little bit meaner in the books, which I don't think would make him very likable if we were actually hearing it be said.) I want to live in Bag End SO BAD.

LOTR: The Two Towers (2002)

5/5. Legolas, my beloved. A bridge between the first and last installments that doesn't feel plot-deprived. Balances perfectly between mounting the tension for the final installment and also maintaining its solitary plot points. I want to include my Letterboxd review because it's ~sO fUnNy~

LOTR: The Return of the King (2003)

5/5. Man. Wow. I cry. I cry. I cry. Literally cannot even give a review bc of the overwhelming mixture of emotions I feel when I think about this movie.

The gayest installment of the series, though that's a hard trophy to hold considreing the competition.

A League of Their Own (1992)

5/5. I do not think it is so bad to be a stereotypical underdog sports movie if you can approach the convention with a story as entertaining and genuinely as heartfelt as this. Very funny. Geena Davis!!!!! Geena Davis!!!!!!! Many of these women are lesbians in real life and although that was conveniently left out of the movie... you can still tell. I was scared that the conversation between Geena Davis and Tom Hanks meant a stupid romance subplot was going to happen, but thankfully this movie has too much dignity for that.

Suburban Gothic (2014)

2.5/5. I didn't really enjoy this movie because there wasn't a single strong aspect of it that I could rely on to forgive it. All of the characters were unlikable, the plot was strange and inconsistent (and I was upset because I was looking forward to it in this aspect). However, Jeffrey Combs is his usual amazing self and the humor is pretty good at times.

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (rewatch) (2016)

3.5/5. I watched this when it came out and it was one of my favorite movies. It still holds a special place in my heart for the surprising breach of conventions it makes. Newt, as a leading man in a big-budget film, is shy, sensitive, and polite. I love him to death. (This is the movie that started my love for Eddie Redmayne) However, considering that it is a big-budget blockbuster, it's only allowed to go so far with its breach of conventions.

It's very beautiful to watch. The romance between Newt and Tina actually feels like a romance, which I find is surprisingly hard for movies to do. It's also the strongest installment in the series, and it goes downhill from there.

Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald (rewatch) (2018)

3/5. I wanted to like this movie so bad when I first watched it, and I do, sort of. I love everything in this movie that replicates the last movie: Newt's characterization, Tina's characterization, the visual effects, the beasts!!!!!, the time period, the worldbuilding, the sophisticated air. I also love the addition of Newt's brother and Yusuf Kama (William Nadylam is just incredible!). And that's where my love for this movie ends. Everything else annoys me. Like, I understand that Queenie loves Jacob so much she'd do anything for him, but I find it hard to believe she'd be convinced by Grindelwald. She's smarter than that. And, I don't really care about the Dumbledore, Lestrange, and Credence Barebone/Nagini storyline. They just aren't that captivating. This is where the series starts to tip from an equal balance between the beasts and 1920s Wizarding World Politics into more WW Politics, which makes me sad.

Fantastic Beasts:The Secrets of Dumbledore (2022)

2/5. This movie makes me so fucking mad. Out of all the movies in the series, this one is the worst. It's not even about Newt Scamander anymore! If you wanted to make a Dumbledore/Grindelwald origin story, just make a separate movie series! I wanted to see beasts! I wanted to see Newt travel the world! Goddamn this movie for taking that away from me, and every other Scamander fan!!!! The last shot of this movie is of fucking Albus Dumbledore, for christ's sake!!! I just don't care!!! Fuck this!!! WHY.

I'm actually so sad.

(J. K. Rowling can't write for shit and she's a TERF. Neil Gaiman can write for shit and is a trans ally. Coincedence? I think not.)

I think Mads Mikkelsen is great as Grindelwald. He delivers a sophisticated and somewhat sinister performance to this movie that I think does more service to it than Johnny Depp's campiness, which isn't really right for this type of movie. If the stars had aligned differently, I would have liked Mikkelsen to play Grindelwald from the start. But not even that could have saved this shit movie.

The Power of the Dog (2021)

5/5. Beautiful and visually captivating. Very nuanced plot that I will not pretend to understand in its entirety, though I'm sure a rewatch would do it justice in that regard. This is not a movie you want spoiled, so look it up with caution. Jane Campion? More like Jane CHAMPION. Definitely recommend.

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012)

4/5. Maybe a controversial take, but I actually really enjoyed this movie, as someone who hasn't read the book. Maybe I would enjoy it less so if I did read the book, (which I do eventually plan on doing) and I understand people's complaints about the movie. I don't think this movie (and the Hobbit series as a whole) should be considered with the same judgment as the LOTR series: despite being made by the same director, their appeal and intended demographic is vastly different. While LOTR's appeal was more based on its faithfulness to the books and authenticity, and intended demographic is more longtime LOTR/fantasy fans (nerds), the Hobbit trilogy's intended appeal is more of a meatheaded likability intended to appease more widespread audiences (everyone who's not a nerd). I don't think it lives up to LOTR, and I do think a singular movie should have been made more in the vein of LOTR (faithfulness to source material and avoidance of blockbuster stereotypes), but this movie is still fun. The performances are good and overall I can't hate this movie.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (2013)

4/5. This is probably my favorite in the Hobbit series. The romance between Kili and Tauriel is pretty solid. Bard is fantabulous. Smaug is an absolutely terrifying villain. Bilbo is a Chad. The story never feels stretched out or annoying. I dunno, I just like it. :)

The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies (2014)

4.5/5. Again, I don't expect anybody to agree with my opinions on the Hobbit trilogy. I just find them fun. This one is heartbreaking. But still fun!

Mikey and Nicky (1976)

3.5/5. Very interesting to watch this as a Columbo fan.

I expected this movie to be kind of boring, and while there are some slow bits, it's very entertaining throughout. The tension simmers on the back burner for almost the entire movie until the end, when it boils over and everything catches on fire. I think it's good that there are moments where the tension takes a backseat to let some of the other themes develop, particularly regarding the character development and relationship between Mikey and Nicky. I also love this movie's concept. Def recommend.

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003)

4/5. I didn't expect too much from this movie, and found that it was good. Very entertaining. Johnny Depp is wonderful as Jack Sparrow (this is the type of movie where his campiness is appreciated). I love pirates. I'm so annoyed about the "You like pain? Try wearing a corset." Line sm. Like... they're called stays in that time period, for one thing. Secondly, they shouldn't hurt if you're wearing them properly. Like my god that line was so written-by-a-man it hurts. Orlando Bloom and Kiera Knightley were great. Fun.

Spiderman: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

5/5. If people have told you to watch this movie, go watch this movie. If people haven't told you to go watch it, I'm telling you right now. Animation is gorgeous and it maintains and elevates all the appeal of the first movie. The diversity just exists in this movie, because this movie understands that diverse people just exist. PLEASE go watch it.

Bridesmaids (2011)

4.5/5. This is a movie for the girls who are morally grey and fear they may be a bad person and are just trying their best to trudge through a burned out existence. Emotional aspect is just as strong as the comedic aspect, and they transition in and out of each other really well. Just... skip the bridal dress scene.

Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)

5/5. One of the most entertaining and lovable movies I've ever seen. A good watch for when you need to clear your head and just relax.

In the Heat of the Night (1967)

5/5. Intelligent and revolutionary-for-its-time movie that still has modern relevance. Sidney Poitier deserved an Oscar for this, and I'm really sad he didn't get one. (However he did get a British Academy Award for this movie.) Love the concept, though I do wish the racial aspect had been carried through to the end, as it kind of drops off in favor of the murder-mystery aspect, culminating in a resolution that's essentially just "I guess I'm not racist anymore because you're really good at solving crimes." I think Virgil deserved a better end to his story.

Rango (2011)

5/5. This is one of those rare children's movies that feels older, mostly because it takes itself seriously and delivers on that 100%. Animation is wonderful.

War of the Worlds (2005)

3/5. It's sort of fun, but so annoying and underwhelming that it's not even worth it. Tom Cruise's character is supposed to develop but we never really see that. Dakota Fanning screams so much. I was pretty scream-y when I was a little girl, but not even I screamed that much.

Pride & Prejudice (2005)

4.5/5. Maybe I do believe in love.

I think this is like the Hobbit trilogy version of book adaptations: not totally faithful to source material but pretty enjoyable. Had me sobbing.

I always get a little annoyed when period pieces feel like they have to sacrifice historical accuracy in costuming and customs in favor of appealing to a modern audience because I think audiences are smarter and more open-minded than they give us credit for.

Stand by Me (1986)

4/5. Even though this isn't really horror, you can definitely tell it's a Stephen King movie: self-insert writer character, set in the pacific northwest or northern east coast, gratuitous 1950s-ness, psychopath bully, and bad parents.

This movie has so much heart behind it. It's such a genuine and heavy portrayal of boyhood and the emotional topsy-turviness of male adolescence. I can't say female adolescence because there's hardly any women in this movie at all. I think it's fine if it's a boyhood-centric movie (but when did boyhood mean that women don't exist?) but it is by no means a commentary on adolescence as a whole.

Clue (rewatch) (1985)

4.5/5. Witty humor and a well-crafted mystery. Very fun, even if it falls short in some of its intended appeal. You know what never falls short? Tim Curry.

Batman Begins (2005)

3.5/5. My least favorite installment in the Dark Knight trilogy. Just not as appealing as the other two in terms of tone and storytelling ability.

The Dark Knight (2008)

4.5/5. My FAVORITE installment in the trilogy. What can I say about this that hasn't already been said before? I'll tell you: YEAAHHH GARY OLDMAN!! I LOVE GARY OLDMAN!!!!

This movie is THE quintessential neo-noir movie.

The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

4/5. Again, what can I say that hasn't already been said before?

SPOILERS: I'm so glad Gary Oldman didn't die because I was almost certain he was going to. Also I love when Batman reveals his identity to Gordon by quoting what Gordon said to him when he was a kid, and of COURSE Gordon realizes because that's just the amazing person he is.

Apostle (2018)

4.5/5. I get that not everybody thinks this movie is good, but I can't help but love it. I think part of it is that it holds a lot of personal appeal (that being Michael Sheen, in case my 10,000 Good Omens posts didn't allude to that).

Here's a list of stuff I liked:

Michael Sheen

Dan Stevens (Now I know he'll never leave me.)

The solid romance subplot.

Michael Sheen

Religious symbolism.

Cults.

Solid historical accuracy in terms of clothing.

I liked this movie up until the very end, where it kinda feels underwhelming. I didn't like the supernatural aspect, which kind of undercut the themes of the movie.

1917 (2019)

5/5. I made a whole slide presentation on why this movie is amazing so I think I'll just link it here.

If you don't want to read all of that, just know that this movie is, a) incredible with historical costuming, b) an effective anti-war film, c) soundtrack is wonderful, d) it will rip your heart out and you will like it. You will like it.

Young Guns (rewatch) (1988)

3/5. A classic slightly-historically-accurate cowboy movie of the eighties. Keifer Sutherland :). Kinda gay. It's a bit boring and forgettable, and the romance aspect isn't that good. If I ever gave it another rewatch, I think I would just turn it off after Billy shoots that traitor, turn it back on for the peyote scene for a laugh, and then turn it off again.

Master and Commander (2003)

4.5/5. My rating may lead you to believe that I like this movie somewhat, but not very much. However, I love this movie so much I can hardly put it into words. There's just something about it. I didn't know I was starving until this movie fed me, to be dramatic. I love how precise it is with historical accuracy. I love the characters. I love the strings duet. I love James D'Arcy. I love Paul Bettany and his flightless birds (GOD I love him in this movie. Doctor characters in period pieces are always my favorites). I love bros. I want to live in this movie, it's so cozy. I want to be a sailor for the British Royal Navy in 1812 so damn bad.

I would recommend this movie. It happens to fit in a personal niche of mine, so I think it's the greatest thing ever, but I understand that not everybody has that same niche lol.

Pride and Prejudice (1995)

5/5. Maybe an unpopular opinion, but I prefer this miniseries to the 2005 movie. Maybe it's just because of its intense historical accuracy and closer allegiance to the book (if 2005 is the Hobbit trilogy of P&P adaptations, this is the LOTR trilogy), but this series really makes the book come to life. I think it's mostly because it has way more time to tell the story. Jennifer Elhe is so good as Elizabeth: her sly glances and clever deliveries have made me, a straight girl, fall hopelessly in love with her. Colin Firth falls in love. Just look:

I can't breathe. Look at him.

Damn this series is good. Definitely recommend 100000000%.

Surf's Up (2007)

4.5/5. So damn funny. A good story about penguins surfing to Green Day. A fun relaxer.

It's a Wonderful Life (1946)

4.5/5. A Christmas classic that I had never seen before. It has charm. It has a Good Omens reference 44 years before it was published ("angel" being confused to mean something gay)

Off Track (Ur Spår)

3.5/5. A Hallmark-y Swedish drama-comedy about an alcoholic single mother who is trying to turn her life around for her daughter, her ex-husband and his new wife, her brother (an amateur athlete training to compete in the Vasa race--a cross-country skiing competition), and his issues with his wife and their inability to conceive. It's not the greatest movie ever made, but what it does have is heaps of heart. Lisa is a character with so much determination, and it's incredibly satisfying when (spoiler) she crosses the finish line--the final person to do so--and she is given a celebratory wreath and the announcer calls her the true hero of the race. I cried. She's been at the bottom of the rank with every chance to turn back, but she endures, just as she does in life. Love her. Her brother on the other hand is sorta scummy and remains scummy throughout the entire movie. It's very easy to not root for him because his arc never really has a resolution. Klara deserves better.

Man of Steel

3.5/5. It's enjoyable. Henry Cavill is perfectly cast as Superman. Love how much of a sweet country boy he is. I kinda hate the way Lois Lane is written, but at the same time she has her moments.

Final Thoughts: I've watched a lot of really popular, big-budget blockbuster movies this year (e.g. LOTR series, Dark Knight series, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.). In the past I would have avoided movies like these because I always assume that I won't enjoy these types of movies. However, I think this year I was less over-assumptive and was able to sit back and enjoy movies without expecting every single movie to be the greatest thing I've ever seen.

I watched a lot of "dudebro" and male-centric movies in 2023, and though I enjoyed a good number of them, I'd like to watch more movies that are female-centric/feminist/have a good portrayal of women in 2024. I think I enjoyed male-centric movies like Master and Commander because of their nuanced characterization, mostly stemming from the fact that they were written by men and about men. (I don't think it's a bad thing to enjoy movies that celebrate masculinity, like Master and Commander, as long as it's not misogynistic in its celebration.) Some of the movies I watched that feature women are written by men, and therefore the women were underdeveloped and fall into the misogynistic storytelling pitfalls that portray women as stereotypes (whether conscious or not), which is why I'd like to see more movies written by women and about women, to see an honest and nuanced portrayal of women.

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