#that happened like 7 hours ago and ive been thinking about it all day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kookslastbutton · 9 months

Text

Too Late to Dream ༓ jjk (m)┃ch. V

✑ Summary: You did it. You married your college professor. You even bought a house together. Against all odds, everything had fallen into place. But after two years of marriage, you begin feeling something was missing. You want a baby but your husband can’t say the same.

Pairing: economics professor!jungkook x fem!artist!reader

AU/Genre: angst, smut, fluff, marriage au, age gap, series

Rating: M, 18+

Word Count: 3,342

Warnings: 8-year age gap, mentions of professor-student relationship (oc was a Masters student), jk has milk obsession, oc injured, both lonely :(, mommy issues, lots of family drama/in-laws, fighting, pent-up issues/desires, jk has daddy issues, jk being good hubby to oc

Now Playing: Make It Right, Tryna Be, Infinity, It Will Rain, Heaven+

A/N: I've heard the requests and I think it's time to fulfill them–how did they get together?! Yes, it's here and I'm excited to finally share! Also, yes this took up whole chapter so a tiny break from present-day stuff but we'll be back at it next chapter. 💞

<< ch. IV ༓ ch. Vl >> | series masterlist

Before marrying you, Jungkook had the same routine. He got up, showered, brushed his teeth, put work clothes on, grabbed breakfast, and ran out the door with twenty minutes to spare. Trying to find a parking spot at 7 a.m. at the university was no joke and he had to leave early or some college kid would take the last spot and not think twice.

His night routine was similar. Jungkook finished the day between 5 and 6 pm, slowly regretting he ever agreed to teach evening classes. He’d kick off his shoes, eat dinner, grade some of his student’s papers if needed, brush his teeth again, and went to bed.

It was a constant cycle and with no one around, not even a pet, Jungkook’s life was fairly quiet and systematic. Sometimes his buddies would come over on the weekend for a couple of hours and that surely rocked his world.

But that wouldn’t happen often during the school season due to his ridiculously packed teaching schedule. The most recent person he’d hang around during those months was Taehyung and if he wasn’t free, Jungkook would spend his time at the grocery store–stocking up on milk.

4 years ago

“That was two weeks ago man,” Jungkook says, pushing a cart with five-gallon jugs of milk to his car. He’s on the phone with Taehyung who's reminiscing about the grand opening of the new art exhibit and how “lovely” it was to meet you there.

Jungkook doesn’t need reminding though.

He clearly remembers seeing you there and Taehyung happily making a complete fool of him once he found out who you were. Thankfully you hadn’t seemed to mind too much since you and Taehyung soon moved on to discuss various art theories, masterpieces, and underrepresented artists.

“You didn't have to stay y'know.” If Jungkook didn't know any better he'd think Taehyung was salty. "You could've left at 8 pm like you planned. __ and I would have been fine."

Jungkook winces hearing the man's argument. He did think about going home at 8, but it unsettled him to leave you alone with Taehyung. His colleague was enjoying himself a little too much that night and there’s no telling what he’d do or say when he’s overly comfortable.

Jungkook had to stay until you left.

"Are you kidding me? Leaving you unsupervised would've been the worst idea after all your endless blubbering." Jungkook pops the trunk of his car, stuffing the jugs of milk inside. "God knows what you'd scar __ with."

On the other line, Taehyung smirks through the speaker. "No, that's not it......you weren't going to leave me alone with a woman, an attractive one at that."

Jungkook grabs the last jug of milk, slamming it on the floorboard. "Student, and stop talking about her like that. She's my stu—"

"Say student one more time and I'm going to take all your milk and give it to Yoongi hyung's cats."

"I swear to god, Taehyung, if you touch my milk I'm never going to another art museum or wine tasting with you again." Jungkook is very protective of his dairy products.

"That's okay. I don't need you when __ says she'll be happy to go with me sometime." Smug bastard, Jungkook thinks. There's no way you said that.

"That's bull Taehy—"

"Look she's in her masters and is literally eight years younger than you. It's not that serious so stop acting like she's fresh out of high school. Besides, you said it yourself, she's not a child."

Jungkook grunts, shoving the cart into the others. "She's a young lady who happens to be enrolled in the school. As faculty, we have no business thinking or talking about her outside those terms."

"For fucksake, Kook. You always make things so complicated!" Taehyung's baritone voice cracks through the speaker. "I'm just trying to get you to admit that you're into her some way or another. How many other students have I stayed to talk to and you couldn't give a—"

Just then a loud, high-pitch screech interrupts the call. Jungkook whips his head around immediately. He doesn't spot anything at first but a string of profanities remains audible in the distance.

"Jungkook, are you okay?"

"Yeah, but someones screaming and I can't tell where it's coming from." Jungkook walks around the grocery parking lot, eyes darting left and right. "Oh shit!"

There, near the bus stop, you lay on your side with your right leg stretched out and blood running from your temple. You try getting up but you fall right back down, cursing sharply.

"Taehyung I gotta go, it's __. I don't know what happened but she's laying by the bus stop and I think she needs help!" Jungkook shuts his phone and races to where you lay. He kneels next to you with sheer horror on his face. "__, what happened? What can I do?"

"Damn college boys, Dr. Jeon," you spit, dragging your leg up as far as you can. You reach for your bag which had flung about a foot away when you crashed. "So fucking eager to get off the bus and—oh damn that hurts like a bitch!"

"What hurts?" Jungkook lunges forward to catch your torso from slamming on the hard concrete. "Stay still okay? We need to get you to the hospital."

"I'm all set, but thanks. It'll likely heal in a day."

Jungkook shakes his head and wraps an arm under your back and legs. "Can you put your arms around my neck?"

"Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but I don't want to go to the hospital. Please."

You're serious. No trace of bluffing or even simply trying to act tough. You really don't want to go.

"You need to be checked by a doctor sweetheart," Jungkook insists. "Whatever happened has made it so you can't walk. C'mon, my car is nearby and I'll drive you over."

"No, wait!" He feels you push against his chest.

"__. I'm not leaving you without making sure you didn't break a bone or something. I don't want to make things worse but you don't look so hot right now. So please, let me take you." Jungkook lifts you up when you give a barely consenting yes.

"You sprained your ankle pretty bad hun." Dr. Kim Seokjin draws your attention to the X-ray scan. "Second degree." He points to the visual of your partially torn ligament. "There's going to be a lot of swelling so you're gonna need to stay off your foot for at least 4 weeks."

"Do I have to stay here?" is your first question.

"For the first couple of weeks, we strongly advise—yes." Dr. Kim moves on to the next X-ray scan. "You also cracked a rib which will also take about 4 weeks to heal, or more. Of course you're head has suffered a mild concussion as well but it's very mild thankfully." Dr. Kim catches sight of Jungkook next to you, staring at the scans. "You're wife's going to be okay," he says mid-diagnoses.

"We're not—" you start to say but Dr. Kim continues talking.

"Wife, girlfriend, lover, what have you. The point is, much of what we have here will recover with a month of rest, ice, and elevation." He takes a pen from his pocket and starts jotting down something on paper. "I recommend two weeks here for moderation purposes. If things look good, you finish the healing at home. Still, be careful though, no funny business."

The blank looks on both your faces tell Dr. Kim he wasn't clear enough. "Yah, my filters going to die with you two doe-eyed deer. No funny business means no sex!"

"Oh god!" You outburst, mortified by the thought. Jungkook whips his head to your slack-jawed expression. "Dr. Kim, it's not like that between us."

The older man suddenly zeros in on your professor, eyes narrowing slightly. "What's the matter son? Having trouble getting it up?"

Jungkook jolts in his seat, startled by the crass response. "I—no, what? There's nothing wrong with my—"

"We're not together!" You shout before Jungkook's sentence finishes. "We're friends." Saying that your professor brought you here sounded a little odd for some reason, especially when Dr. Kim was already convinced you two were a thing.

"Mhm sure, heard the same thing from my wife before we went off and eloped." Dr. Kim treads to the door. If he has a dime for how many times he's heard that "we're friends" bs he'd be...well, he's already rich so never mind. "Let's move on to something more productive now, like getting __ settled in a room. The sooner she starts the healing process, the sooner she can be good as new again."

"Thank you Dr. Kim," Jungkook says, slowly standing up to stroll you and your wheelchair out of the room. You didn't like it but the nurses insisted you be in one to keep pressure off your muscles.

"Yeah yeah." Dr. Kim waves him off. "Just remember what I said, no funny business. Especially here at the hospital. You don't know how many times I've heard the nurses catching their patients on top of one another at 2 am in the morning. That better not be you two, whoever you are to each other."

"Yes, doctor." You both reply, thankful of the fact that neither of you are in any position to be looking at each other.

"Is there any way I can be here for less than two weeks?" Jungkook watches as you plead with the nurse. It worries him that you're still anxious to avoid medical attention.

"I'm afraid not," the nurse says simply. "If you need anything, press the call button and I'll be in as soon as I can."

Once the nurse leaves, Jungkook pulls up a chair next to your bed. "Stupid question but how are you feeling?"

"I'm in an ankle brace, my rib burns, and my head is still dizzy. I'm trapped in the hospital for two weeks and all because a bunch of nineteen-year-old boys couldn't wait to hit up some frat party," you groan, not bearing in mind your tongue. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this Dr. Jeon."

"You didn't drag me into anything __. I'm glad I was there when this happened and I'm even more glad that you're here, getting help." Jungkook clears his throat before continuing. "Even if it isn't ideal for you."

You ignore the subtle pry for information. "Please, Dr. Jeon. You don't have to stay any longer. It's the weekend and I'm sure you have plans."

Jungkook gives a faint smile. "So, you're saying this is none of my business?"

"No, not—not at all. I mean if you want to stay then I guess you can but I don't want you to feel obligated or anything."

"I want to be here," Jungkook says simply. "But you know that's not what I meant. I'd like to know why it bothers you when anyone tries to help you...if I may."

"Just habit," you mumble quickly, averting eye-contact. It's not your professor's job to bear the weight of your problems.

Jungkook nods in reply, pretending you gave a satisfactory explanation. He wishes you'd tell him but if you didn't want to share more then that was your choice —he wasn't going to force you. "I understand." He grabs his phone from his pocket and rests his elbows on his knees. "Are you hungry?"

"Huh?" You look back at him, his question going right over your head.

"I asked if you're hungry. It's about dinner time so I can get you something if you want. I also have a bunch of milk in my trunk that needs to get to a fridge. But I can place the order now and pick it up in my way back here."

"Milk in your trunk?" Is the only words you repeat, dumbfounded. "Like chocolate milk or...?"

"Nah, Whole Milk." Jungkook grins at your scrunched up face. You try to hide it but not very well. "Don't look so disgusted. Milk is good for you."

"Yeah when you're ten years old."

"On the contrary!" You flinch when his voice rises, along with his eyebrows. "Milk has a lot of health benefits as adults. It has thirteen essential nutrients and helps maintain muscle and bone strength. I drink at least two full glasses a day, if not more."

"I'm sorry but that's nasty." You shudder at the thought of drinking milk in your twenties let alone your thirties. "You really enjoy it? The taste?"

"Yup, always have since a baby! Loved it so much that my mother-" You raise an eyebrow to which he abruptly switches topics. "Anyway, do you want me to pick you up something or no?"

You giggle, a little uncomfortable with whatever he was about to disclose to you.

"That's okay, no thanks."

"You sure? Otherwise I'm gonna be eating in front of you." Jungkook knows how this sounds — he's trying to force you to eat. But the truth is, he just doesn't want to eat by himself tonight. He also doesn't want to leave you alone this early, especially when you obviously detest being here, for whatever reason.

"I'm sure," you say. "But...if you want to come back you can. Not like I have anything to do anyway."

"Good then." Pleased, Jungkook opens up his phone contacts. "Give me you're number in case you change your mind while I'm out."

Over the next couple of weeks, Jungkook continues to stay by your side. He leaves to teach his classes of course and to go home late at night, but he stops by every day—hours at a time.

You keep insisting that he not come so much but he always makes the same excuses. "I just brought food" or "You're on my way home from the university". Sometimes he brings in class notes too.

Due to your current predicament, you're missing a lot of content so Jungkook thinks it best to go over key principles with you and takeaways from his lectures. He says it's his duty as a professor–never minding the fact that many of his other students are in a predicament of their own yet he’s not bothering to do jack for them.

"Look Dr. Jeon, I appreciate what you're doing but you really don't have to. I'll be perfectly alright to catch myself up from the textbook and study guides. You don't have to keep stopping by." You try again but Jungkook keeps his wall just as strong as yours.

"I know I don't have to __. I know that I could leave right now, take all these lecture notes home with me, and not feel guilty about a thing. But I told you I was going to be here and I'm going to keep to that no matter how many times you urge me to leave. I also want you to call me Jungkook outside class but have you allowed for any of those to happen?" Jungkook tosses the folder of notes in his sachel, a loud thump following. "A simple thank you would suffice."

"I am grateful, I really am. But I never asked to be given so much of your time. I feel bad because maybe you're just one of those overly nice people who feel it's their duty to stick around or what not when someone's in trouble. I don't need to be pitied over! Also, you said I could keep calling you the usual, so Dr. Jeon it will remain!" Why you're raising your voice, you don't know but it's happening either way.

"Yeah I did," Jungkook quips, matching your tone. "But after the last, nearly two weeks I think we ought to be on a first-name basis! And I'm in no way pitying you okay? I'm here because I care dammit! I don't want you to be alone and I don't want you to be behind in getting your Masters. So I' try to be be here every day for at least fifteen minutes if not more!"

You don't fully process what he says so you reply to what you remember most. "Why? Why can't I call you Dr. Jeon? It's been that way from the start, twice every week. So why do I need to call you Jungkook all a sudden?!"

"Because it makes me feel younger, you insulted my milk after I first took you to the hospital, we've been eating dinner almost every night since your injury, you told me about your childhood cat named Mr. Muttonbottom, and you just called me by my first name so there are no take backs! Now, if you're done making a fit, do you want bibimbap or jajangmyeon for dinner tonight?!"

What the actual hell? You cease your arguing at once, hearing your professor, or excuse you, Jungkook, all fluffed up. Obviously, you're not the only one high-strung over being stuck in the same routine day in, day out.

"Jajangmyeon...please," you mutter.

"Thank fuck," he swears. Yeah that's new too.

"Sorry for getting mad earlier." You mumble the words as soon as Jungkook returns with the food. "It just feels odd that you've been here all the time...you're my professor."

Jungkook mauls over your choice of words, stiffening ever so slightly. "Well, I'd like to think we're sorta friends now but alright. Does this actually bother you __? I don't mean to make you uncomfortable, you know that." He places the bag of take-out on the small desk near your bed.

"No, it's doesn't bother me." you just don't know how to react or what to say besides a measly thank you. More so, you don't want to make someone feel responsible for you...you should take care of your own shit without bringing others with you. It's not the best mindset, you're aware, but its the one you have.

"Okay good because to be completely transparent, I'm sorta here for me too. I live my myself, eat by myself, talk to myself....I do most things alone so it's nice having someone else to be around." He's not sure where to set his eyes, so he looks downward, fumbling with the napkins in front of him. "I'm making this awkward, sorry."

Feeling the strange need to offer comfort, you stretch a hand over Jungkook's arm. "I get it. It's nice having someone around too."

You and Jungkook hold each other's gaze for a few seconds more, letting the brief silence do the rest of the talking. Maybe you've been looking at this a little too one-sided.

"How are you feeling today? Any better?" Jungkook cracks open the bowl of Jajangmyeon, handing it to you with a pair of chopsticks.

You take the steamy food and gesture to your ankle which has swollen down a good amount. "Still more healing to be done but it's better."

Jungkook hums in approval. "That's comforting to hear. Dr. Kim going to discharge you soon?"

"Yeah, I think so. A few more days and he said I should be able to rest up at home."

"Really?" He chews on his bottom lip. "Well great, uhm , do you have stuff going on when you get back?"

You think a moment, trying to recollect if you made plans with Na-Rae. "Maybe some but not much. I don't have a ton of people around me right now either...down here I mean."

"Well, do you wanna go out to dinner then?" Jungkook pops the question more causal than expected. It's almost like he planned this or at least has been thinking about it for a bit. "We've been eating together for a while now and I think it might be a nice celebratory thing."

"Are you asking me on a date...Jungkook?" Because it defiantly sounds like he is, as indirect as it may be.

His reply is barely audible but you hear it and for the first time, your professor sounds truly timid. "Uh, well...let's go with "hang out", like friends do."

A/N: so yeah, thats how they got together 👀😅 anyone surprised? Thinking about a drabble for thier first date now haha. Anyway, next chapter we get back to present day stuff where more drama goes down. Also, adding a chapter bc this flashback took the whole chapter lol. Lmk your thoughts 💞

Masterlist

Taglist:

@frieschan @oldermenluverrr @tatamicc @kookswifesblog @llallaaa @sunnybyeol @namtaeh @exactlygreatcoffee @whipwhoops @yoongisducky @ktnj91 @junecat18 @thvlover7 @yoongiworshiper @ellesalazar @monbebe234-blog @parkinglot-nights @borahaexoxo @hobiswhore @kimseokjinbangtan @jjk97091 @mk-id @blueberry711 @givemethemaknaes16 @iammartian07 @jjkluver7 @itsdingdong @jiminshi20 @sweet-sourhotcoco @lubtou @lovingkoalaface @starsinsky1999 @rockstarrgyu @chaconnelatte @kaithezaftig @skzthinker @babystarcandykookie @jksusawife

no reposting, copying, or translating my work– © kookslastbutton

#bangtanbathhouse #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #bts smut #bts x reader #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts au #fic:toolatetodream #kookslastbutton

562 notes · View notes

onlyjaeyun · 4 days

Note

i’ve been following ur writing for some time now and i do have to agree with that anon who said you did CH dirty. you are a very talented writer so it’s just hard to watch.

you started off CH so strong with the lore and little chapters here and there but as it progressed you kind of just got lazy and it shows. when important events happened in the story, they weren’t conveyed through writing but through the texts (ie the riki and yn fight, that was definitely worth a written chapter) and it was honestly disappointing.

the ending isn’t much to say about either. yn and hoon barely go through development after the letter incident and all of a sudden they’re dating and married with a kid like two chapters later?

idk, if it was a mental health issue then i get that but even then you should’ve just gave it a break and thought everything out more. you could do so much better.

thank you for the feedback!

i wanna put you through the progess of a piece of writing from the POV of a writer okay? now keep in mind: i work two jobs, am a fulltime uni student and the daughter of an immigrant household with two parents who still work most of the day just so you know what else i have to deal with, besides my mental health okay?

now, i started off CH strong right? yes. i uploaded on the daily, fine i chose that. a chapter usually takes me around one hour if i actually sit down and focus on nothing but the chapter itself, which includes IG stories, editing, formatting etc. alright

on top of the daily chapters, i constantly replied to 40+ asks a day, a blessing in disguise because no matter how much i enjoy talking to you guys, the pressure does get worse the bigger that number of my inbox becomes, i hope this makes sense

now, i started CH back in october, right when my semester started, thats why i started off strong but as time went on, my assignments and private life got too busy and i guess i felt entitled enough as a writer to skip a few certain chaps and make life a little easier for me by making them regular chapters instead of written ones.

and this is gonna be my main point: i'm not a machine. i wrote a minimum of 5 THOUSAND words per written chapter, MINIMUM. we're talking about a 5-9 THOUSANDED worded chapter EACH WEEK. which usually took me about 6-7 hours, even allnighters.

yes, i chose to do that and maybe my time management wasn't the best but i had to create a compromise where i wouldnt have let you guys wait for over two months which would have resulted in me losing my motivation completely, and yet still focusing on EXAMS. because you know, i'm a fulltime uni student with TWO jobs 😮‍💨

if YOU think i did CH dirty go write an alternative ending yourself but it should be a minimum of 15 chapters including 5 written ones, with at LEAST 9k words each yeah? i wanna see you manage it all, pls prove me wrong snd show me you're better than me i'm genuinely begging bc it might inspire me to do "better" next time.

as a writer/artist/creator, and i can tell you probably arent one yourself or havent been one for long, the longer smth takes to come to an end the worse the pressure becomes which results in a blockage i dont wish upon my worst enemy i'm being deadass. i dealt with some of the worst writer's block ive had since i started writing literally 12 years ago and you're telling me i should have just "taken a break" and do "better"

i never, ever expected anything from anyone but some of you are so entitled to a writer's time and skill it's giving me a headache. maybe you didn't like the timing and writing of the last few chapters of CH and i guess that's unfortunate but this was so unnecessary because you completely dismissed everything else that could have been going on in my life and even belittled my mental health issues like im some fucking AI writing machine

do better, be nicer, write it yourself if you don't like it i'm so fucking over this

if i had gotten out of my own comfort and wellbeing and have actually written another set of written chapters i would have burned myself completely out. ive been in this fandom for not even a year and have already finished FOUR smaus with 50 chapters each, you do NOT get to tell me what i should or could have done better because you dont even give a fuck about me as a person this is just about receiving what YOU think YOURE entitled to but this is MY art and I will do what I see fit even if it's not what was expected of it because i'm a fucking human being with a life before i'm a writer on tumblr

oh, also: i do this for free ㅤ:) just a reminder :) this is my HOBBY :)

and don't you EVER call me lazy again when it comes to writing because i'm not gonna pour my heart and soul into a fic just for you to call me lazy when i literally wrote 50 THOUSAND words for this fucking fic just for the written chapters

goodbye

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

72 notes · View notes

simmyfrobby · 2 months

Note

i hope you don't mind me asking — but how / why did you pick the teams you cheer for currently? i just realized we don't have favorite teams in common but i love your energy and all of your poetry posts so much 🫶

oh so the penguins just happened to be the first team i found when i googled “hockey” but the bruins were an accident and also a mistake.

i don’t entirely know why i like the teams i like. i think i just tend to pick one character or dynamic i find interesting and follow that down a rabbit hole. i got into hockey after watching the pens 2009 cup documentary

(big strong manly dudes who talk about sports like it’s war and celebrate hard hits, playing through injuries, and getting into fights, who also nicknamed their little goalie friend Flower and made sure to give him forehead kisses after every game. i didn’t stand a chance)

so sid, geno, tanger, (talbot), and most of all flOWER were my first loves and ive kinda just stuck with them ever since.

at one point i tried to put together a spreadsheet to figure out which other teams to root for (based on their names, logos, place in the standings, nr of scandinavians etc). i immediately eliminated all the red white and blue teams because i thought the colour combination was unimaginative, then eliminated all the teams whose logo was just a letter because i thought that was stupid, then forgot all about the spreadsheet because a bruins fan was nice to me and i decided to root for her team just because i liked her vibe.

(dragged one friend down the marcheron rabbit hole with me and we watched game 7 together and i will truly genuinely never stop feeling guilty about putting her through all that. then bergy retiring broke me unfixable etc etc and now we’re here)

minnesota kinda became my team a few months ago, mainly because flower plays there, but also because i got to watch them play in stockholm and that was v exciting for me. the wild have been getting most of my attention lately because that’s the fandom where i have the most fun. whereas the goalies and the superstars tend to suck up most of the oxygen in other fandoms, wildblr for some reason tends to focus on the fourth liners and the losers and that’s more my vibe just in general.

hockey is only really an internet hobby for me, and none of my Real Life Friends really care about it, so i need some fandom friends to yell about these things with. im also several timezones behind and i catch most games a few hours after the fact, so if i have to scroll through a lb of a fandom that’s very negative i tend to just blacklist that tag. there’s a few teams i now see very little of & don’t massively care about for that reason.

this turned into a much longer reply than i intended but also i just really liked the question & you worded it real kind so i didn’t want to half ass it.

there’s other players i still like even though i don’t keep up w the team much (eichel, natemac, that little slutty guy from montreal, bertuzzi, tk, ej, etc etc) but there’s only so many hours in a day, you know?

#what this boils down to is:#i love weird short guys #and flower #and my internet friends #sorry its so wordy and also thank you for the kind words much love xx

15 notes · View notes

squided · 16 days

Text

Has anyone else experienced their parents getting progressively more rude, intrusive, and hypocritical as they got older? Like my mom had me pretty late in life (she was 37) so I recognize I have an older mom than most. And yeah during my teenage years and stuff I thought she was annoying but she was genuinely a good and caring mom. But honestly I've noticed since she's hit her 60s and went through a bad second marriage, she lashes out a lot, expects me to be productive 7 days a week, essentially work all day long, spend 1 hour of relaxation, and then sleep. Anytime this gets me agitated, she goes on about how she needs to work two jobs and 7 days a week and SHE never gets rest and I don't see HER complaining (she is literally complaining about it all the time). Essentially since ive had to live with her again temporarily I've put up with it and have taken on the same workload as her and I've discovered.... there's no way to please her. Every day I should be studying so I can get certifications, I should be looking at new jobs because she doesn't approve of how my managers treat me at my minimum wage job (every job I've had so far), I need to clean the house and my room, I need to go to work, I need to look at universities, I need to make 10 phone calls that will keep me on hold for an hour at a time, I need to pull the weeds in the yard. If I fail a single task, it's met with disappointment and talking about how much work she does and how little I do. If I do all the tasks, then come a list of questions: how's my money doing? Have I been saving it or spending it recklessly? Have I tried quitting smoking yet? Have I cleaned some obscure thing she mentioned a month ago and I forgot about? This keeps going until I give an answer she doesn't like and then we are back at my generation being so lazy, how the younger people just don't work as well as her generation did.

And the thing is... she never used to talk like this. She was always far left, full equality, against classism and ageism. But then the "unbiased" news changed. It stopped covering certain things the US didn't want covered. Suddenly I'm explaining to her that in Israel, people will have parties while watching the bombs drop, there are "settlers" going into Gaza and just claiming other people's land. And she says that's not true, she didn't see it on the news, she looked it up online and the major news sites never covered it once since 2014. Every time I bring up some horrible thing that's definitely happening, she just says I've become a conspiracy theorist and MY thinking is really dangerous and she's worried about me (at which point I snapped a bit and told her that actually her willful ignorance is extremely dangerous and what leads to all these atrocities getting swept under the rug. She threatened to kick me out for being so incredibly disrespectful to her).

I don't know what the point of this post is anymore. Maybe I just wanna ramble about someone I truly respected slowly becoming someone I can barely stand to hold a conversation with. Maybe it has something to do with how people are told to only trust big news organizations for real news and then they censor it so all real news looks like conspiracy theorist trash. Or maybe it just has something to do with age, some sort of thing that naturally occurs as you approach a certain age, and the only way to prevent it is to be aware it's occurring and reject its falsehoods. Or I don't know dude... I've been stuck inside for a month... I think I just needed to fucking vent to the Great Void. If you're listening, hey there Great Void, I hope you're doing better than I am.

11 notes · View notes

brilapse · 2 months

Text

Hi guys…..

So this is extremely embarrassing for me to admit but I really need help. I was recently diagnosed with hep c….. I would have had it for going on 7 years now…. Long story short, I am appalled with my doctor. When I first got clean in Jan 2017, I was tested, now it may have been to early then but sometime in 2020, I just started to feel generally unwell all of the time. Tired no matter what, low energy levels, achey, headaches, etc. Then my stomach issues started. There was a time period I was waking up sick af every day, throwing up pure stomach acid multiple times a day for months, then it kind of subsided and was probably three times a week, and it’s been like that since then. I still get “attacks” (I call them- pain and crazy nausea) every damn day. My energy levels the past year has all but plummeted. Like, I am nearly DONE for the day after showering, they are that bad.

I was complaining to my doctor. In the past 3 years, I’ve had bloodwork done 4-5 times, and not ONCE did she include the test. When she said she was going to test me for “everything”, I’m fucking sorry but I assumed she meant EVERY disease, etc. apparently fucking not. The only reason we caught it now is because I got a new methadone dr and she actually took the time to go through my medical chart and history and brought it up. So yeah, we did the test and, unfortunately it was positive.

The fact that I have been feeling so god damn bad all of the time and it was not caught, and could have been and no one thought to bring it up with my history. That’s another thing, I’m so damn unlucky I guess. When I say that I was METICULOUS about being clean and using new stuff every time during my active addiction, it was borderline ocd… but there was ONE time. ONE time that I KNOW is when this happened. I have some trauma from the time I was in active addiction…. I ended up literally homeless and unfortunately I didn’t have anything or anyone, no support… and I ended up tangled up with this one guy I put my trust in… mostly because I had no choice. He was not a good guy. Without going into details, I literally had to escape essentially and I feared for my life. I was held at gun point a few times… he was psycho and had major anger issues. Anyways. There was one time, I was on day 3 of withdrawals, and anyone who had been through them when you’re an IV user of Fentanyl… you know it’s literal hell. I wouldn’t be able to begin to tell you what it feels like. You would not be able to fathom it. There is a reason people do crazy things to get their “fix” … you’re not thinking about anything other than feeling okay again. You’re in hell and every horrible symptom you could think of, you’re experiencing. Anyways, I finally got some stuff and I didn’t have any clean things. I could barely move or walk. Didn’t have a car or money to get there. Begged him to go for me. He would not leave me alone because again, he basically held me hostage and did not have any of his “guys” around to watch me. There was another girl that came by to pay him “his cut”…. (Yeah you can imagine what he did..) and she had some stuff but all used. She swore she didn’t have anything- which, she may of not known. Fine. And I was DESPERATE and also suicidal at the time. I thought ok, this ONCE. I boiled water and even cleaned it out… and even if you don’t do that, the transmission rate is approx 10-20%, it’s not 100% guaranteed. So I thought ok just one time, if I clean it out, I should be okay.

Evidently not.

So yeah… I don’t want to talk about any more of that time in my life… I’ve been clean seven years now. Doing well… well, I was, until about a year ago when I started to get really sick. I got laid off a job and was really struggling financially and then got a new one, and now my hours are cut and way lower than when I started, so I’ve been dealing with that. Barely surviving the past few weeks.

NOW… I started treatment this week. 8 weeks. 3 pills a day… but the thing is, the side effects can be hard on some people and because of my stomach issues, we already know it’s gonna be hard on me and it’s already been BAD the past two days….and it’s gonna be a ROUGH 8 weeks. Now, it’s obviously worth it, to have a 95% chance of curing myself and go back to a normal life and feel motivated and normal again. ACTUALLY HAVE ENERGY!!!!!!!!!

I can’t work though during these 8 weeks and I am going to have zero income. I don’t have EI sickness because I had to use it last year when I got really sick. Since my hours were cut, and went to part time status, I don’t have benefits.

I got a new full time position that is supposed to start March 4th but I have to start the April training class start date instead now… I literally will not be able to do it. I am going to be in bed for 8 weeks and resting essentially.

That brings me to this….. my bills are already high and up there because of my hours being cut and only being able to pay the bare minimum on them. I am literally going to get my heat cut off and internet and cell probably. I cannot afford food, but at least I’ll be given ensure or boost with my meds from the pharmacy.

That’s another thing. The treatment is 40k Luckily the compassionate care program with the government covered 90% of it- but the other 10%, my dad had to help. I can’t ask him for any thing or any money after that…. I’m just.

If any of you would be able to help me out during this time, it would be so much appreciated ❤️

ANYthing you can do and send my PayPal… I will be so grateful.

& when I’m up and running again after treatment, when I’m not sick af all the time and i actually have energy again… I will start my OF again and make it free for a couple months. I was debating doing that to help right now but when I tell you I have ZERO energy… I have ZERO. and that combined with the side effects and feeling just so shitty and migraines from the meds… I just, I can barely do anything.

I’m just… I’m at my wits end. I’ve never not seen even a SMALL light at the end of the tunnel but I’m not seeing any lately….

Thanks guys.

Love B ❤️

8 notes · View notes

jinlias · 2 years

Note

How about 7 and 12 angst pleaseeee? Need me some angst rn. Anyone you see fit for twice or itzy. Thank you!!

“baby, can you check the time for the movie again?” ryujin comes out of the bathroom, one towel around her body while she held the other to her head drying her hair. it’s just a habit, both her to always ask you to roam through her phone and you for doing it.

there was never a reason not to, ryujin never had anything but good intentions in mind, but, maybe her heart remained elsewhere.

byeol

6 days ago

b: hey

b: can we talk?

5 days ago

b: ryujin?

b: i just want one more chance

b: i miss you

4 days ago

rj: i miss you too

rj: but im seeing someone

b: can you please just meet me for coffee?

3 days ago

rj: i’ll think about it.

2 days ago

rj: im free tonight.

b: thank you, im omw

2 hours ago

b: wanna hang later?

rj: can’t, date night. raincheck?

b: sure, lmk.

ryujin doesn’t question how it takes you the slightest bit longer to drop her phone or how you never answer her question. she only watches you pick up your own device and type.

ryeongie

y/n: chaeryeonggg, was the movie you watched with ryujin on wednesday good? i think i’ll watch too

cy: movie? on wednesday?

cy: i havent seen ryujin since our dinner.

cy: did she tell you that?

chaeryeong keeps typing and untyping, but eventually opts for calling you, the ringing startling you.

“is everything okay?” ryujin chuckles, turning off the blow dryer. “did you not find the movie?”

“didn’t you see this movie already?” ryujin tenses in place, her face immediately looking like a deer caught in headlights “why did you lie to me?”

“what?” ryujin places the hair brush on the dresser.

“you told me you went to the movies with chaeryeong, she didn’t even know.” she hates how calm you look and sound, your hands resting on your lap carefully. you’re already dressed, you chose to wait until she was out to finish getting ready. “did you see byeol on wednesday?”

“what are you talking about?” your girlfriend’s voice raises for the first time in the time you’ve been dating. you don’t reply, instead showing her the conversation. “you went through my phone?”

“it was open and i read it.” you shrug. “what happened that night ryujin? did she come over? did you kiss? did you fuck?”

“what are you insinuating?” she finally turns around and rests her weight on the dresser, her arms crossing in front of her

“im asking you what happened” you repeat “because ive been here all day ryujin. you texted her you were too busy with me to see her today and proceeded to fuck me and tell me how much you love me and how im the light of your life. but this entire time you’ve been thinking about her. haven’t you?”

“y/n that’s not-“

“do you think about her when you look at me?” you get up now, reaching her.

“baby, i love you” ryujin tries to cup your face with her hands, but decides not to when she takes in the hurt in your eyes.

“yes or no ryujin. it’s an easy question.”

“yes” she looks at the floor embarrassed, and your scoff in response makes her flinch. she fucked up. so bad.

“i fucking knew it” you grab your bag quickly, your phone already in your hand and she watches you storm out of her room.

“where are you going? please let’s just talk”

“there’s nothing to talk about ryujin!!” you finally stop in your tracks, your keys in one hand and your necessities in other. “you’re an unfaithful bitch and i can’t change that. im not gonna sit around and watch you play with my dignity like this.”

you only break down in your car, on the drive to chaeryeong where you knew her and yeji would console you through it.

#byeol is such a pretty name tbh #itzy x reader #ryujin imagine #ryujin x you #itzy imagine #itzy imagines #itzy x you #ryujin imagines #ryujin angst #itzy angst

140 notes · View notes

hailieshapedbox · 2 months

Text

ohhhh i just realized why i have no desire to sleep even though i in fact am getting tired🤪 my cousin was in psychosis for two weeks on coke off meds and two days ago he took a turn and directed all of his pain and anger at me n was talking shit about me saying vile things (mostly about being lesbian) till 4 am two days ago and till 6am last night. walking in the living room where i was juggling a knife and scraping it on our roomates doors, throwing n stabbing oranges around the house till he got 5250’d in the morning. i hope hes having an alright time in there he really needs help and hopefully rehab and hopefully he finally wants the change that he might not know he needs and actually does want. ya had to vent it out guys thx for reading my run on sentence, im actually tryna lead into a better, personal topic and this plays a part on it so i started there. i uh started recovery in AA 3 days ago and im so fucking happy to finally want to take my life back fully into my own hands and have the drive and ambition that i got easily with alcohol (fucking cop out). ik how this sounds to some people, i went to AA and NA for fun when i was in a grouphome at 17 bc it was another way for us to get off the campus and hangout with the other houses (they called them cottages🏡🕯️🎍☺️). so im very comfortable in that environment, it wasn’t an entirely new concept or energy to me, its been about ten years, but this is my first time coming with a severe desire to change and take back my life into my own hands. ya i had drank in highschool (fuckinn middle school too) but i dont think i ever had to drink and drink and drink till i passout and not be able to stop until im blacked out. that didnt happen till i was 23 in such a chaotic livlihood i couldnt stand any part of my reality, work, home, abusive relationship, i couldnt breathe but i could drink. to the point i was delivering weed from the dispensary drunk. it happened again over the summer for all of the same reasons but this time i had come back to my cousins house to get on my feet and ultimately ended up helping everyone else and their businesses and livlihood more than my own and i was drained out, favor not returned gang. i thought i was gonna stop drinking at the end of summer and i did a few times, a week, two a month but the binges were bad and i was in a lot of dangerous situations recently. everytime i thought i was ready, someone would give me a reason to catch a nice break from the chaos circus life, n who would say no to what sounds like bliss? the last time i drank i didnt even want to, i didnt even wanna go out shit, friend called me crying for help, by the end of the night i needed a relief drink joined got physically hurt (7 minor injuries but some are mid😭), stranded they took off w my phone and wallet in my bag, no sweater at 4am upset in a parking lot not tryna take three hour walk home. a ride from a nice lady w a sketchy guy judging me. how the fuck did it happen again, how easy couldve i prevented this. i had already reached out to a well versed friend that i need to get sober, she said she’d be around in a couple days n we would go. i told her again the next day i needed it even more now and we went that night, which she was wanting to bc she liked that specific meeting. well gang that specific meeting is always gonna be the story to the start of my meeting. i immediately got picked to lead and read through out the meeting on a little stage in front of everyone with the key speaker. as i expected haha, never heard of a lottery meeting like that. i made a home that night, i kept eveyones lottery ticket from the raffle that i picked (and the three left over), i hadnt felt so much support in years, and all at once and a whole room full of people.

i know im only three days in but ive been waiting my whole life to be here.

4 notes · View notes

climaxbattles · 4 months

Text

vent dont read (unless the curiousity consumes you i guess. if you know me personally it might suck)

i havent been able to leave the house since may and it seems like every day i get worse and worse

i just cant deal with anything i dont know why

i dont go outside, i cant be alone, i cant even eat too fast/slow or i just like completely freak out

i started therapy and this is the first time ive ever been hopeful about interacting with a therapist but i still kind of dread it every week. im not even sure its helping like maybe shorter sessions would be better but i use so much energy just getting through the day i cant communicate until its too late

i dont even understand what made this happen my only guess is that one of the medications i tried really messed me up (or i have a brain tumor or thyroid problem or something) because a few of them had really really terrible side effects and i almost had to go back to the hospital for the 3rd time in a year, but i dont get why im not getting better when i dont do anything and im not on those meds anymore.

and if it is physical i cant leave the house without panicking like. i dont know how else i would go anywhere to get it checked out unless it got so bad i had to call an ambulance again so they could lie me down and give me oxygen and turn all the lights off and hold my hand again but that also was like very traumatic so im afraid i would just completely break

my friend is over visiting and i havent seen her in forever bc she moved 4 hours away and i cant even bring myself to hang out with her because she brought her boyfriend and i already have problems talking to anyone but her even though i fucking live with her family and leech off them. so im just hiding in my room

i dont really talk to anyone much anymore and i dont even know if its Because i want to be left alone or if its something making me lonely/im upset about. it also kind of seems like people r moving on from me but that could be like entirely self inflicted bc one on one conversation terrified me even before and now i like have panic attacks if a breathe wrong let alone attempt something thats always scared me

i think like some of them maybe also have a seperate discord server i wasnt invited to. this happened literally months ago where i accidentally found out and its not really my business i guess. and i dont even rly know if its true or even used anymore

it just feels bad because i lost a friend of like 7 years and a friend i really related to but didnt know long because i took their side in multiple arguments and i dont regret the 2nd one but the first one kind of still sucks. the people i lost had a lot of their own problems that made them unpleasant but idk. the first person was kind of always open to talking to me even though we r both fucked up and wouldnt ignore me even when i sometimes would bc of my own problems

and then if there Is a second server thats kind of why the second person lost their shit. so its like Maybe they were right in a small way (they were completely fucked though they would like suicidebait randomly and ive never had any other friend do that so its still for the best i think)

it seems like i keep losing or pushing away good friends kind of. or maybe im bad at all friends idk. ive never enjoyed socializing so it seems like my fault probably

i honestly just wish i could get on food stamps and/or disability on top of medicaid but i think people are still insisting i can go back to the way i was before. idk if thats possible. i just want to be able to stop taking As much Directly from other people and maybe like. buy legos or a 3d printer or something. i dont have much to do in the house 24/7 and my computer is getting old. and i think the internet is making this all worse but thats like my only activity

im so tired

#sorry if u know me and think this might be about you #not trying to like vaguepost abt them though i just dont even know if its worth bringing up. and i cant even rly communicate #i forget if my irl friend has a tumblr #its not your fault i feel like this though if anyone does read this #i just feel like i keep saying the same things in vents to friends and i want to stop bothering tgem

2 notes · View notes

mirxzii · 2 years

Note

who is/are your comfort character(s)?

lighter or matches?

do you leave the window open at night?

which cryptyd being do you believe in?

what color are your eyes?

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies?

how many water bottles are in your room right now?

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee?

would you slaughter the rich?

favorite extracurricular activity?

what kind of day is it?

when was the last time you ate?

do you love the smell of earth after it rains?

are you a parent? (all answers qualify)

can you drive?

are you farsighted or nearsighted?

what hair products do you use?

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails?

do you say soda or pop?

something you’ve kept since childhood?

what type of person are you?

how do you feel about chilly weather?

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing?

perfume/body spray or lotion?

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times?

about how many hours of sleep did you get?

do you wear a mask?

how do you like your shower water?

is there dishes in your room?

what type of music keeps you grounded?

do you have a favorite towel?

the last adventure you’ve been on?

is there a song you know every word to by heart?

what’s your timezone?

how many times have you changed your url?

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years?

a soap bar that smells good?

do you use lip balm?

did you have any snacks today?

how do you take your coffee?

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site?

what’s your take on spicy foods?

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it?

can you remember what happened yesterday?

favorite holiday film?

what was the last message you sent?

when did you first try an alcohol beverage?

can you skip rocks?

can i tag you in random stuff?

assuming this means all of them, so whew.. here we go

alr answered!

probably lighter, although ive never used one.

absolutely not. window closed, blinds closrd, curtains closed.

idk what this means but i kinda believe in ghosts

green!

because im an idiot DGBVXHN

hair ties!

3 hahah

neither!

probably

drawing i think

its a laze around and do nothing kind of day

umm maybe an hour or two ago?

kinda?

i am. i have many children who i will protect with my life

i can drive a golf cart

alr answered!

uhhh idk?

YES BUT ID BE RLY BAD

soda!

this alice in wonderland funko pop, plus my very first stuffie named baby (i ripped off his head once and my mom had to sew it back on)

im not sure what this means haha

i like chilly weather sometimes, but not all the time. better than hot weather

we would be talking together probably

neither

scenarios of characters falling asleep next to me/with me probably

last night? probably about 7?

i do sometimes!

HOT.

nope!

vocaloid ehehe

yeah its this pink one that velcros around so that i dont have to hold it while i walk

uhh…probably at camp?

alr answered!

uhhh pst?

alot…im not quite sure how many times

yup, a lot of my old classmates

no clue

nope!

uhh i dont think so

i dont drink coffee!

pjsekai and ibispaint KEHDJKS

hate it. spicy food sucks ass

…this remains my secret ehe

uhm..oh yeah i met a friend and had ice cream

there arent really any good jewish holiday films

huh?

I HAD WINE AT PASSOVER DINNER TWO YEARS AGO AND GOT TIPSY IT WAS COOL

nope!

ABSOLUTELY YES PLS

3 notes · View notes

bi-ftm-on-main · 25 days

Text

anxiety disorder? i hardly know her

Ok so I had bought this suction dildo ages ago but never really used it stuck to a surface, just for handheld stuff, cos theres not a lot of suctionable surfaces in my house and i have to wait for everyone to leave and its a whole thing. anyway.

I tried it out the other day in the shower at like hip height and just like folded over and leaned into it which worked better than any other position I've tried, effort and logistics wise, and was vibing like that for a while. my initial thoughts are as follows:

i had to use so much more lube than expected. like i knew dryness was a thing that happens when on T but i was quite surprised, i was adding (a tiny bit) more every couple of minutes id say

i really couldve gotten a bigger toy actually. its 7 inches atm but with my fat ass it kept falling out and it was kinda annoying

it was fine, pleasure wise. like not particularly mind blowing but still alright. like 7/10. definitely scratched an itch tho ya know

i really gotta be trimming my pubes more cos that shits not helping anyone

my boobs were in my face and i didnt appreciate it

and yeah i kept at it for a while just to see if i could cum from it alone, which i havent been able to do yet even when using it handheld. but like isn't that a thing, that most people cant cum from penetration alone? im fairly sure.

i have been trying to use the toy more tho cos one thing that im worried about for when i do eventually have sex is squirting.

on rare occasions i will squirt when i use showerhead to -- oh yeah thats another thing. i unironically refer to masturbating as 'beating my meat'. it started in high school and im sorry but it kinda seems like its here to stay. well up until the day i have to say it in conversation then ill dissolve and escape down a storm drain --

anyway, i was going at it and it was building but not really enough so i just was like ugh fine whatever and unstick it off the wall and started using it handheld + clit stuff -- t dick stuff? I personally dont have heaps of bottom dysphoria but i havent decided -- just so i could cum. it had been a while and my sex playlist was running out of hozier songs. yes im putting that information on the internet, sue me.

but like i was going at it two handed and it was working a treat and even after i came i kept going -- i was pushing myself because i wanted to see if i would squirt because i want to be prepared for this stuff -- and omg. bro omggggg.

measuring the time by songs id say that i came for, at minimum, three whole minutes.

like cos i was pushing myself so i just kept going with the two hand method and it just kept going and i kept going and it kept going and i had to change to one hand cos my fingers were tingling and it kept going. man.

i only stopped cos de selby part 2 was starting to wrap up -- no one look at me -- and i just layed there for a while longer just with my hands tingling and feeling light as air.

it made me think of that one twitter thread i think of that straight girl who got fucked by a lesbian and was all happy to go to work the next day even though she fucking hates her job. that was me bro.

i put my clothes back on and headed right back to the computer ive been sitting at for two days straight finishing assignments with a new lease on life. i was giddy mate. giddy. ugh

um yeah. moral of the story, i didnt squirt even after having my guts be pounded for like half an hour. thank you for cumming to my ted talk.

#t #me #why cant i write in a physical diary like a normal person #i do like yapping though

1 note · View note

b0mblover · 1 month

Text

tadajiro shower fic 1k words

thanks to; Sho, for the plot (THE FUCMING ENTIRE THING YOU DONT UNDERTZAND 😭😭ALL OF IT 100% srsly. i have the screenshots im not good at plot thank you so much sho srsly 🙏🙏 my fuxking SAVIOR)

Rizzmaster 89, for the dialog ideas

i formally apologize for everything, i just woke up

Jiro walked through the front door of the apartment, unintentionally slamming it as he closed it, it had been a long day, Noriko and him fought about nearly everything, he was involved in an on-foot pursue with the police, and lopt still existed.

Needless to say, he was exhausted.

Jirou walked over to and flopped onto the couch, he had been staying at Tadashis apartment for some while now, their apartment that they usually lived in was under renovations, so they all had to find somewhere else, Noriko stayed with Reina, Lopt was… Lopt, and Jiro stayed with tadashi.

It was the closest person he had outside of the revolutionary army,

(no crown isnt in this im sorry 😔)

ironic, a priest that gets payed a good fucking “little” sum of money lived in an apartment.

(nope just, idk apartments are easier for me to write even tho ive never lived in one)

Jiro layed there, unmoving for about 5 minutes until he heard a door shut.

“the hell do you think youre doing?”

tadashi was extremely annoying, almost all hours of the day.

“Fuckin tryina sleep” jiro managed to get out through gritted teeth

(shut up)

“The hell you are- go shower”

Kunai was… particular about so called “dirtiness”

Maybe it was the upbringings of them, but their opinions clashed more than Jiro and Noriko fighting

“No im fuckin tired leave me alone”

“I will if you go Fucking shower”

Kunai sighed, Jiro, as much as he “loved” him, he was quite stubborn, he walked over to jiro, and put his arms under him, picking him up bridal-style for about 2 seconds before setting him on the floor

(well more of standing?)

“The fuck are you doing?”

Jiro asked, he looked so tired.

“Youre going to shower, weather you like it or not”

Kunai but his arm around Jiros upper back, guiding him to the bathroom.

Kunai tugged at jiros waist band, motioning for him to take off his clothes, jiro did so slowly and reluctantly as kunai turned on the water to the shower.

(TADASHI TOOK OFF HIS CLOTHES I SWEAR I FORGOT TO WRITE IT IN THO)

It was a small bathroom, just enough for the two of them to move around mostly comfortably.

Kunai set a stool into the shower, motioning Jiro to sit down, Jiro did so as Kunai messed with the shower head, attempting to detach it from its handle.

(look ive only seen a detachable one irl when i was like 7 in my grandmothers apartment and that was so long ago- leave me alone:(pls)

After a minute or so, pulling it down, the pressure felt nice on jiros back, it was hard but not enough to be painful, warm, but not burning.

Kunai lathered something onto jiros hair, he didnt pay attention as to what, more than likely shampoo, he was too tired to care.

“So, hows it been?” kunai asked in a vagely monotone voice, it wasnt offputting as jiro had heard it a million times since “living” with him.

“Fine i guess” jiro sounded dejected, he wanted this to be over as soon as possible, and small talk wasnt letting that happen.

“You sound” kunai paused “like theres something on your mind” quickly changing his words.

“Its nothing important” he shot back quickly, it was one thing for even lopt to ask what was wrong, he noticed he mustve been acting strange for even kunai of all people to ask.

“Are you sure? yknow you can tell me anything, i wont tell” kunai said, as he started washing his back with soap.

“Just- i dont know how to explain” he sighed, he felt defeated, the one chance he was able to talk about how he felt, he felt like he blew it.

“just explain it however it comes to you yknow?” kunai moved to washing his neck, making sure to massage it at least a little bit.

“- fine, i dont think im worth anything to anyone, i think people only want to use me in one way or another”

“mhm and?” kunai grabbed at jiros shoulders, attempting to silently tell him to stop being so tense.

“and what? do you think im good at this emotional bullshit? no. no i am fucking not.”

kunai sighed “im just trying to get you to open up, i know that isnt easy”

“Why?”

“What”

“why try and get me to open up? we all know you dont truly care. do you just wanna use me too?” jiro started to speak faster

“is that really all im good for? is that what people see me as? do you see me as someone just to keep around until you get bored and eventually decide to throw out-“

“Relax. your shoulders jiro, relax, youre doing neither of us any favors by tensing up”

“r-right, sorry” jiro attempted to calm his body down as much as he could.

Kunai continued to wash his back, rinse his hair, put conditioner in his hair, wash his back.

“Jiro”

“Yea?”

“Do you think… how do i put this without it sounding wrong” he questioned aloud.

“just say it” jiro continued looking at the floor

“Do you think you really “have” anything im intrested in?”

“i dunno, my body i guess?” jiro was thankful that he wasnt facing tadashi at that moment

“Why would you think id want to use your body?”

“i well- because? why not right? thats all im worth”

“who told you that?” kunai was mentally on the verge of tears (or what yk little he “had” shut up lemme have a semi nice tadashi 😭😭)

“Huh?” jiro turned around to face Kunai, confused.

“who told you that youre only worth your body? i mean- i havent known you as long as say noriko, but i know that your worth more than that”

“i dont understand” jiro turned around, not really believing kunai in the slightest.

“Jiro, youre not stupid” Kunai hugged him from behind, not too tightly, before letting go again.

“youre kind, your funny, youre strong”

“so? thats normal though”

“i dont know about what youve went through, but if its anything like the rumors in school, it had to have been hell right?” tadashi adjusted the water to be warmer, theyll probably have to get out soon.

“What? i- my life then is no ones concern besides my own” if he had the energy hed glare at him.

“Maybe- maybe not, but it still changed you in some way correct? i mean, you sure do know how to run from the police damn well- and i don’t believe thats something just everyone can do”

Jiro knew at least that part was true, even if he didnt want to believe it.

“but even then, i contribute nothing to anyone” he hugged his own knees toghther attempting to comfort himself.

“is merely surviving after everything youve been through not enough?” Kunai smiled slightly.

“i-“ he stopped, he realized there was no use for him trying to fight tadashi, he knew in one way or another he was right, even if he didnt want to accept it.

Kunai hugged him from behind, before washing the conditioner out of his hair.

#j writes badly #???? ish???#again. thank sho for the plot.#im bad at plot #down to the stool jiro sits on. sho wrote the plot #(this was madw in like ja but ive been too depressed to post it LMAO 😭)#no beta we die like jirou

0 notes

t4tdanvis · 3 months

Note

This ask is your sign to talk about any of your aus (please do)

😼 you dont know how much i LOVE talking about my aus

i have like 10000000000000000 different aus but i will choose one of them to talk about rn. one i dont think ive talked about much on tumblr?? ive talked about it a LOT in the aphverse server im in so shout out to yall for putting up with me /j

this au is also probably the au that made me extremely obsessed with vylad. not my fault hes just so fucking attractive 😔

so anyways. dante and gene both get kidnapped by a "medical research" company (which is a front for like. human experimentation). later they find out that garte is the ceo of that company and bc hes friends with dante and gene's dad (shittiest dads in the world gotta stick together /j) their dad basically just handed them over to be experimented on

so anyways they have wings now!! dante has black wings and gene has white wings. also the experiments messed with the colors of their hair. here is a very quick sketch of what they look like now

dante is 22-ish and gene is 24-ish whenever they escape the lab (they were both there for 4 years). vylad is the one who helps them escape (however dante ends up getting separated from them and runs off. dw hes fine he finds travis, garroth, and laurance)

uh... i should probably explain the setting. and then we will talk about my bbg vylad 😁

so this takes place in the future obviously. its a dystopian future where uhhh basically a while (30-40 years) ago a bunch of countries went to war and completely destroyed most of the landscape of the world and killed off a LOT of the population and now the world is sorta trying to rebuild itself back up. the place where the story mainly takes place is o'khasis city, which garte is the governor of. its one of the (relatively) safest places for many many miles, and traveling across whats basically a desert filled with random people out there doing anything to survive is dangerous.

ur also just not allowed to leave the city without permission (and u have to have a very good reason to leave). this is for a lot of reasons including how dangerous is outside and also bc they want everyone to stay there so they have enough people to keep everything running smoothly

anyways. vylad. hes got a lot of lore. oh god

so first of all. vylad, zane, and garroth all have the very unfortunate luck of being the kids of garte. when gartes kids were 5, 6, and 7 respectively, he began working on a mind control drug that would basically make anyone who took it do whatever he said. at first, it didnt work super well, and he spent many years getting his scientists to perfect it. before he could fully perfect it, vylad ran away when they were 11, so they were never fully under mind control. zane and garroth, however, were put under full mind control and have been ever since (you do have to keep taking the drug about once every 24 hours or the effects will start to wear off, but garte can just tell them "take one of these a day" and theyll have to).

vylad knows about what garte is doing but doesnt have any evidence, and the side effects of the drug mean that his brain just sorta fucks itself over (giving him headaches, making his limbs not move properly, causing him to black out) whenever garte tells him to do anything (this is because the drug was very much a prototype and it permanently fucked up his brain)

when vylad ran away, about five days after he escaped he sorta just passed out in an alleyway on the edge of town. that happened to be the alleyway that sasha, gene, and zenix were currently staying in - sasha manages to convince gene and zenix to Maybe Not Kill This Random Kid and vylad wakes up after like 18 hours and is like "what thje fuck happended"

anyways, sasha, gene, zenix, and vylad quickly become a team, although vylad is the only one who goes and sneaks out of town randomly every few days (hes going to garte's company's lab to see if theyve created a cure for the mind control drug, because theyre trying to create a cure as a backup just in case anything goes wrong)

gene is technically not a runaway, they still mostly live at home with dante and maria. their dad isnt really in their life at all, until he randomly shows up when theyre like 20 and suddenly dante and gene mysteriously disappear a couple days later

vylad immediately knows what happened, but unfortunately the section of the lab where he knows theyre keeping gene and dante is super high security. if he gets caught, theres literally no hope for anyone because garte will just put him under the mind control drug forever. so it takes four entire years for him to rescue gene and dante

thankfully, garte didnt have them put the two under the mind control drug, since he needs all of it for zane and garroth. which makes vylad's job a little easier lol

oh yeah also remember when i said that dante gets found by travis, garroth, and laurance? yeah. garroth is 100% under mind control (which does give you bright green, glowing eyes, but he hides that with contacts) and is being forced by garte to spy on his friends. and whenever she, travis, and laurance find dante, she reports back to garte that one of the escaped experiments has been found, and so garte tells him to go find gene as well.

i need to actually write this bc this is something i actually wanna write instead of just rotate around in my brain forever HDFHDGGHDGHDF so im not gonna tell u all the plot. L for u ig /j

oh also vylad and zenix are very good friends. the best of friends. just guys being dudes. a couple of pals. just some buddies who send each other romantic letters when theyre apart and also kiss each other. just super close friends :)

also sasha has a pet snake and zenix has two pet rats (xe uses xeir rats to carry letters to vylad) :>

#❄.txt #ask box #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG i had a lot to type lol #u can ask further questions if u want i am happy to answer questions about this au. i really like it :>

0 notes

flyingcookierambles · 2 years

Text

rant ig

in recent news last week on wednesday my idiot sister and her borderline anti-vax boyfriend got covid and now my mom is getting sick and we’re worried that it’s covid instead of a normal seasonal cold or mild allergy and im just hgioehgaoieh i hate it here no matter what i do to keep myself safe the issue is coming from within the house in my case my sister and her boyfriend stayed had dinner and stayed overnight 2 fridays ago ughghghgh i hate this i hate her literal deadly trash taste in men ghroeahgorehgreog i have asthema my mom has diabetes the idiot trash taste sister also has asthema and a lot of people in my family are 50-60+ year old boomers with various health issues from hard manual labor all their lives as blue collar workers plus my 84 year old grandma ghrueagihreuoghreaoghreio gheriogheovhdfovhav hgorehgaoeh agho plus we’ve started inviting my maternal grandma and her sister to our family parties and they’re like 70-ish or so and my grandma’s sister is only here now bc her husband literally died of covid bc some idiot step-uncle that i’ve never met apparently went to thanksgiving last year without being vaccinated and gave the entire family covid and killed his uncle im just hr igohreaoihraeioghaeoighraioheog ifoahgoheg i hate it here we’ve kicked my sister out to be with her boyfriend bc of the sickness but they were still here in my house i hate it i hate it so much plus the idiot borderline anti-vaxxer boyfriend is a carpenter and he insists on going to work going into people’s homes and businesses while getting angry at the mere suggestion of wearing a mask or doing an at home test and then whenever my sister talks on the phone with my mom she said that her boyfriend said that “she really ought to go back to work even though she’s sick” (puzzlingly her employers also agree despite it being a private nanny job for rich people on the rich side of town watching literally babies (2 kids under 4 years old, idk if they’re even old enough for a ovid shot) plus the employer’s mom died of covid just a few months ago wtf???) and that “my boyfriend’s coworkers all agree that we’re just overreacting about covid “and im just like yeah duh they’re all also constuction workers/carpenters probably who believe in some weird libteratiarn toxic masculinity where other peoples’ lives dont matter to them and grejaigerioaehoe hrgoaho ghreoag seriously im so sick and tired of thes i wish all stupid anti-vaccers a very get polio measles tuberculosis and die if you want to so so so badly bc youre a fragile little snowflake who either thinks that your “special macho dna will out-manliness literal bacteria” or “bill gates is putting microchips in our bodies for the (insert some most likely anti-semitic conspiracy theory about robot lizard alien overlords living in the sewers of atlantis)” and leave the rest of us reasonable folk who listen to science and doctors alone

in other news if i somehow get covid at least my steam deck came in + im literally working my temp office job + my retail job, so i can have an excuse for a break from my 7 days a week, 45-50 hours work that allowed me to afford a steam deck in the first place + we have an excuse to not go to the cousin that we don’t like’s wedding next weekend in ohio so gihiroeahgeorihgoe eh :/

im so tired

when the idiots stayed over it was in my sisters’ childhood room that shares a cold air vent with my mom’s room next door

ughghghghghghghg if we don’t get it at this point its a miracle

like 3/4 of all covid scares that happened to my family so far have been from my sister’s dumb libertarian anti-vaxxer/anti-covid boyfriends im just like kick her out of the house go away i cant take it anymore

if i have to call off work i want my sister to pay for my doctor’s appointment to get my inhaler prescription, my inhaler, and all the days i have to call off work, i would never get this normally, ive literally worn a mask all this time since like 2020 march when going to work even now i am the only one both my work places that consistently wears one and with this scare im eating outside in the cold windy autumn at the picnic tables for the smokers bc i dont want to be *that guy* who infects the entire office

ughghghghghgh i hate it here

0 notes