#that expand the world on their own merit

[cuubism]

in an attempt to be more offline (absolute failure so far) i wrote the next installment of Nightingales by hand in an actual notebook. imagine that. behold, fanfic that's touched grass... or something.

Dream has taken to leaving random books on Hob's nightstand. This is no abnormal occurrence, except that these aren't from Dream's infinite collection of books he's "currently reading," but rather seem to be left there for Hob.

Hob will finish a book, and within the hour it will disappear back to the Library, miraculously replaced by another. At first this suits Hob well enough. The cafe is only getting busier, and while Hob does love trawling through the Library's endless stacks in search of a new read, he'd rather spend his free time with Dream. Perhaps Dream is only trying to facilitate that through this method, or trying to make Hob happy by applying his knowledge in the area where it's vastly broader.

But then it starts to get weirder. Whereas before, Dream's selected books had been exactly to Hob's tastes--as they usually are, it is his specialty, after all--slowly they start to diverge.

First it's an epic tome about interstellar travel. Post-apocalypse, final earth survivors traveling light years to an untamed planet, and so on. Hob likes sci-fi well enough, but this particular one is getting a little too 2001: A Space Odyssey for his tastes, a little too abstract and philosophical. Perhaps one that Dream likes that he wanted to share?

Then comes the horror novel. And what horror. A man born and raised in underground rooms, who did not realize he was bereft of the sky until an attempted rescue caved in his tunnels and nearly suffocated him. Dragged from the soil, gasping, he had to cover his head lest he go blind.

'David had read of plants that grew upwards. Instead of the deep roots he'd touched all his life, they had stems, and leaves, and these went up, into another world. Birthed into cold fear, David thought.

He was one of those plants. He stretched long fingers up through the soil, gasping for breath. Warm earth parted and air greeted him, air chill and dry as he'd never tasted it. A searing pain in his unused eyes. He did not even have a word for the brutal shine that fell upon his face.

(Light, he would later think. Sunlight.)

No matter how hard he pressed his hands to his eyes it was not blocked out. He whimpered, and the same hands that had pulled him from the collapsed earth, hands painful in their kindness, laid a blanket over him, covering his head in warm darkness again. No, not a blanket. A jacket?

Another head peeked under the collar of the jacket, letting in a sliver of brightness before it was shut out again. Oh. His rescuer. His arms were bare; it was his jacket that David was wearing over his head.

"Hey," said his rescuer. His voice was warm as the soil. "You alright?"'

Perhaps it isn't horror, Hob thinks, only afterwards.

Then there's a book of love poems, though they're strange and hyper-modern, and Hob can't shake the odd sense that he shouldn't be reading them, that Dream has, somehow, snatched them out of a time yet to be.

He finally confronts Dream when he's left a relatively straightforward, if bland, romance of the type he hadn't thought either of them particularly went for. (Even Dream wouldn't be able to pull sex inspiration from it as he likes to do with his bodice rippers, the book isn't nearly spicy enough for his tastes.)

He marches back into the bedroom one morning, after several minutes of making coffee and mulling, and holds the book up in front of Dream's face. "Dream. What."

Dream looks up from where he's reclining in Hob's bed, several books scattered around him. "Did you not like it?"

"Did you?"

Dream hums, looking down again at his own book. "It has merits."

"Why, though. You keep giving me these books. Why?"

Dream continues studiously reading his book, though he isn't turning pages. So it isn't teasing, then. Nor even some lighthearted attempt to get Hob to expand his reading horizons. It's something deeper.

"Dream," Hob says, sitting on the side of the bed by his thigh. "Come on. Talk to me. What is it?"

"Page one-fifty-two," says Dream in a quiet voice, and it takes a second for Hob to realize he means the book Hob is still holding.

Hob hasn't managed to get that far in the book. He flips through it, anxiety building, more anxiety than he thinks a light, beachy romance is ever meant to produce.

He turns to the page, about three-quarters of the way through the book.

'Lacy had calculated it once. Across her entire career, she had written two million, five hundred twenty-two thousand, nine hundred and eighty-three words.'

Right. Hob remembers from the few chapters he'd managed to read that the protagonist is a writer.

'2.5 million words about romance. Who could possibly have so much to say on the topic? 2.5 million words of circling and circling the point. Not letting herself see it well enough to skewer it.

All those words came only to this: she wanted to marry him, and she didn't know what to do.'

Hob drops the book.

It tumbles to the floor in a flutter of bending pages, but he pays it no mind. He takes Dream's hands in his own, letting Dream's book fall closed on his knees. Dream looks up at him hesitantly, from under his eyelashes. You silly thing, Hob thinks, with heart-clenching fondness. I love you so.

All of it had been a message, in Dream's own oblique way. Borrowed metaphors from the vast catalog of his brain. That's how he connects: through the books that Hob knows are -- in some strange way -- a part of him.

He leans down to kiss Dream's knuckles, like he's bowing his head before a shrine. Then he looks up. Dream is watching him, expression somewhere between wary and awed.

"You don't have to know what to do about anything else," Hob says, "so long as you marry me."

Dream smiles tentatively, and tips his forehead against Hob's. He can be so strange and mysterious at times, but more often than not, when they're alone in their bedroom, he's like this: soft, wanting, just on the edge of shy, and that's the version of Dream Hob most wants to bundle up and away from the world. Even if he knows it's impossible, and not right besides; Dream can't just live in his bedroom, he has to live in his stories, and stories are out in the world. Hob can't help but want it anyway.

"I would like that," Dream says, smile soft. Hob kisses his cheek, body full of warm light.

He pulls Dream into a proper hug, tucking his face into his shoulder. He feels Dream's smile against his neck. The warm weight of him in his arms, in his bed.

So improbable to have snagged a thing such as Dream from the expanse of his existence, and cuddled him up in the cozy confines of his simple cafe. But as Dream had said. The door exists because Hob uses it. He met Dream because he went to his shop that day. He went to his shop that day because he was to meet Dream. Each improbability has a circular path.

Christ. He's thinking like that sci-fi novel Dream had given him.

Hob doesn't know what a marriage with a creature like Dream -- he still doesn't know what that is, exactly -- is meant to be like. It's uncharted space.

But he knows that he wants it. Wants Dream.

He holds his darling close and kisses the corner of his mouth. Dream's lips are sweet with happy tears.

"You will marry me, then?" he murmurs, more pleased repetition of the thought than a question.

Hob gets the book of infamous page one-fifty-two off the floor. Turns to page one-fifty-three. Finds the word he needs, swipes Dream's pen from the nightstand, circles it. Hands the book to him, open.

Dream touches the circled word with a reverent fingertip, and smiles.

#not sure how i feel about this hand writing experiment... #it def came out different when written by hand #at least i didn't make you all read it in my handwriting XD #bookstore cryptid dream #dreamling #my writing #dream of the endless #hob gadling #i kinda hate writing proposals tbh. and yet i keep doing it 🤔

[insomniac-101]

So something that I often don't see people discuss is the manner in which the 9th and the 10th doctor's seasons are so intrinsically connected that it is almost impossible to understand a lot of key character arcs if you choose to skip it upon rewatch. The reason why I say this is because the moment you reach season 2, 10 is essentially the product of the development 9 achieves at the end of his season. To skip him, would mean that you also miss context as to the reason why Rose is so important and in turn, not understand the reason why their bond in particular is such a big part of the plot during the 10th's era.

Now bare with me, because I'm about to go off a bit lmao.

The first season of nuwho not only serves as an introduction to many of the key characters we see later on, such as: the Doctor, Rose, Jackie, Jack, Mickey, Harriet jones, etc. but it also serves as an introduction for the concept of the series as a whole. Prior to this, doctor who as a franchise had a reputation of being a geeky sci-fi show with no real wide spread appeal. Remaining as a niche interest to many, up until the reboot returned and reintroduced the show to a newer audience.

This is important to note because this is one of the main reasons why we see such a huge emphasis placed on the companions' lives in the reboot. Because RTD meant to expand the world of Doctor who and its audience, and by doing so, he strived to try a multitude of new plots that were otherwise never explored previously. This is why the romantic plotline of his season is so crucial to the story itself because he means to explore a facet of humanity not previously seen with the Doctor as a character. RTD essentially built this plot line from scratch, as the only other attempt at exploring such an angle was received negatively (The 8th Doctor's movie). So there's a degree of leniency that I give his writing In particular because like I said prior, he had no prior reference for exploring humanity to the degree in which the new series does.

The ninth doctor, when we meet him, is essentially a recluse. He is in a state of stagnation, implied to have been alone for some time after the war and it gives off the impression that he's no longer accustomed to being around people. He's often direct, rudely so and very standoffish to anyone that isn't immediately measuring up to his standards. This isn't to say that he isn't charming in his own way. He's sarcastic and when he tries, he can actually be very good with people. But the war still weighs heavily on his conscious and so, he views the world through the eyes of a soldier. Prioritizing the act of surviving rather than slowing down and actually taking the time to live life.

I mean, the man essentially meets Rose while blowing up her workplace and if that isn't concerning on its own merit than I don't know what is lmao.

A scene that sticks out to me the most about him in particular is when he looks at himself in the mirror for the first time. He notes that he has big ears, and from the manner in which he says it the implication that he perhaps has not seen himself in a long time is not lost to us. This coupled with the knowledge that he had indeed been seen traveling prior to meeting Rose, gives the phrase a more dark connotation that makes sense for his character.

I like to think that this indicates that the guilt of what he did to stop the war weighs so heavily on him that he could never bring himself to face his reflection. Because truly, to have gone so long without seeing yourself, not even in the reflection of a window or other surface is not something that is easy to do. Rather, it is something you have to go out of your way to do. Also it's important to note that his appearance is in fact a reflection of that weariness he feels. With his body, being older outwardly (appearing 40ish ) and his features being very sharp and serious. Even his hair is pretty short, much like how a soldier would keep it as a means of not wasting any time on worrying on something so inconvenient. His preference for darker colors and his constant outfit is also very noticably practical, not at all decorative like his prior bodies. This is purposeful, because it is what sets him apart from prior versions of the character and an easy way to visually see his most prominent traits.

Now with that out of the way, now I can discuss how 9 changes and what his relationship to Rose is like, so that one can better understand why Rose is such an important part of the Doctor's character.

From the moment the two meet, you can see he harbors an immediate curiosity towards her. Here they are, trapped in an elevator being attacked by a group of living mannequins and yet, Rose is almost unaffected.

That isn't to say she isn't afraid, she is, but her fear doesn't stop her from asking questions and demanding explanations. She doesn't shy away from him, rather she confronts him head on and even shows a level of concern for other people while she is actively the one in danger. It is enough to prompt him to ask her name, but not enough to involve her. Preferring to instead keep his distance.

It is not until another chance meeting that he gradually lets her in, allowing her to humor him with her curiosity and we see once more that he is in fact very good at socializing, but only with certain people. The reason why I stress this is because he often outwardly puts this front of coldness towards those that don't interest him. Rose was able to look past this front, and seems to look past his rather cold attitude towards other humans. He often stresses how inept they are, going on tangents about how they're nothing more than apes but she ignores it and tries to get at the core of the issue. That's why they mesh so well, because she is able to separate the fluff he inserts into his answers and take it for what it is. That isn't to say she's a doormat, she just knows when to pick her battles.

"do you know like we were saying? About the world revolving. It's like you're a kid, the first time they tell you that the world is turning and you just can't quite believe it cause everything looks like it's standing still. I can feel it. The turn of the earth. The ground beneath our feet is spinning 1,000 miles an hour and the entire planet is hurtling round the sun at 67,00 miles an hour. And I can feel it, we're falling through space you and me. Clinging to the skin of this tiny little world, and if we let go.. that's who I am. Now forget me, Rose Tyler"

He is describing the manner in which he views the world. Unlike how a kid is unable to comprehend the vast truths of how the world functions and remains naive of it for a period of time, he is a man that was never given that chance to be unaware of how it functions to an infuriating degree. He sees the world for how it is, dark, unforgiving and so direct. Everything is calculated so precisely and he can't even begin to comprehend why anyone would see the good in it as it's just that, a planet.

But that's why he finds humans so interesting. There's a part of him that holds onto that hope that it is something more, that perhaps he is missing out on a purpose behind all the darkness. That's why he is running amongst them, to find a reason behind their way of thinking. To experience the world through the eyes of the hypothetical child, rather than the adult who breaks the illusion.

Not only that, but this conversation also let's us in on how touch-deprived he is.

For it is in a moment of vulnerability that he allows himself to reach out and touch Rose physically. Grabbing her hand for emphasis on how heavy this revelation burdens him. It's a cry for help in a sense, because he has reached the point where he has metaphorically "let go". Dropping her hand, to show that he is losing that last part of him that clings to that hope of finding something that will allow him to question his view of the world. He is miserable and lonely, because when you view the world through such a cynical lens it becomes all the more apparent that life is so lonely. If everything is doomed, then why go out of your way to care?

You see this in the way he remains unaffected by the reveal of Mickey's "death." Having grown so used to it, that he finds it off-putting to see that Rose is freaking out as a result. It happens everyday to people far more important so why give it any real weight if it's inevitable? Why ascribe a meaning to something that just is?

Remember when I mentioned it is implied that he was traveling on his own for a while? What places did he visit? The Titanic, the Kennedy assassination, the explosion of Karakota. These are all fixed points of time that are associated with absolute tragedies. But all the same, they're key points in life where the world remained cruel without reason. Thus fueling his very uncharitable view of the world and how it functions.

That's where Rose becomes key to his overall development. As a human, she inevitably views the world through the lens of that child. She doesn't know the ins and outs of the universe's processes, yet she continues living without ever really seeking to understand it better. It doesn't matter to her that the people around her aren't necessarily important in the grand scheme of things, they matter because they just do. She is capable of loving others and affording care to others simply because she wants to, not because she has to. She is confronted with alien threats the moment he walks into her life, and yet her view of the world and her existence doesn't really change. She does not harden rather, she curiously grows from it. Growing wiser and more aware rather than crippling under the discovery of another threat in the universe.

She is clinging to the understanding of the tiny little world she lives in, yet her hold doesn't relent. For she is not falling, to imply so would mean that he was right in his assertion that our existence is doomed. No, instead in the place of any real meaningful explanation about the world's existence is something so innately human: hope. An illogical thing to always maintain, yet she always seems to have it.

After all, it is such a confusing notion when you think about it. We have no reason to believe that things will improve, and that we'll be met with good outcomes. It's so metaphorical, not at all tethered to something practical like numbers and data and yet, even when the odds are against us, somehow we hope things will improve.

It's that aspect that he wishes he understood.

(i would love to dedicate a whole analysis on Rose in a separate post so for now, I will only focus on the Doctor and her role in his life)

This is why he takes her to the ends of the universe on their first trip. He's testing her, seeing if this will be enough to prompt a reaction out of her that fits his narrative. He also seeks companionship, to have someone understand what it's like to see your planet burn and to have yourself remain as the sole survivor. In a way, to justify the validity of his misery and guilt. She's affected of course. It's in that moment that she realizes, the scope of the universe and is faced with the undeniable truth that everything does end. It shakes her and you can see her sort of doubt her view of the world. No longer able to remain blissfully unaware of the big picture when it is quite literally in your face.

But something she has, and he lacks is a foundation. Rose still has her mother, someone to return to at the end of the day. She can be comforted by the people in her life while his inability to let anyone in, essentially stunts him.

When given the choice to spare Cassandra, he refuses. He lacks the capability of seeing past the evil, and assumes that there is no good in her. No second chances. An act that catches Rose off guard, who in spite of personally recieving the brunt of Cassandra's cruelty, she asks the Doctor to save her.

Eventually he takes her back to her time. He entrusts her with more information regarding the war and the death of his people. People pass them by, oblivious to his presence as he is wallowing in the sorrow of remembering. It's a metaphor, of sorts. While our two protagonists are brutally aware of the doom that awaits them in the future and they remain stuck in place reminiscing, the world around them continues moving on.

He is giving her every reason to run, to leave him behind and save the very last shreds of naivety she has.

But when he asks her if she wants to leave, to no longer accompany him on his adventures, she refuses. Because his confession puts it all into perspective.

He is hurting.

He desperately craves company: to have a hand to hold onto and keep him grounded as the world falls apart. Yet more than ever is she aware of her limitations; that she cannot undo what has been done to him.

And so, she does what she knows she can do to help ease the pain even if it is very miniscule. Tells him that he has her, and that his pain is one she can now share and understand. She offers him chips, not because it will magically make it all disappear but because it will distract him from the pain of remembering. It's also her favorite food, so no doubt she is trying to share that sense of comfort it brings her with him.

Such a human thing to not focus on fixing the bigger problem and instead focus on what can be changed in the current moment. They still have time until the end of the earth, so why spend more time dwelling on it?

That is her response to his question.

I believe the episode the unquiet dead is where he realizes the extent of his feelings for her. There they are about to be pulled apart by a horde of zombies yet Rose doesn't regret coming along. She tells him so and in the end all she asks of him is that they fight for their lives. Still clinging on to that bit of hope that they could get out of this, even if it is misplaced. To stay together in spite of their inevitable deaths is all she asks for, and he in turn tells her how glad he is to have met her. Assuring her that he is glad it's her that is there by his side as he clings to her hand like a life line. Somehow, having someone there to hold made the inevitable more bearable.

For a single moment, he remembers what it is like to not regret something.

But no, they live! Again and again, even if logically it makes no sense given how the world works. All the while, he meets more and more extraordinary people. With Rose, always reaching out to others as they embark on every new adventure. Thus indirectly providing him insight on the manner in which normal people are capable of doing brave and incredible acts even if it is at the cost of their own life. Their hope in a future for the people they hold dear, motivating them to put everything on the line if it meant that there was even a slight chance everything would be alright.

There's good in people, even those that outwardly appear to not be worth the trouble. And it's that potential he latches on to, and why he tries so hard to lend a hand when he can.

This is actually where the trend of the importance of knowing people's names starts, because the companions often serve as his connection to the humans around them. They ground his perspective, reminding him to not focus so much on the grand scheme of things that he forgets to look at the smaller details. This is why in the episode Midnight it is so tragic that no one asked for the stewardes' name. For up until that point, he knew better than to not at the very least humanize her (by asking for something as basic as her name, her story, etc.) rather than see her as pawn in the midst of the problem. That is the principal that Rose instilled in him and yet when left alone, he finds himself forgetting to do so. Thus, why he takes the revelation to heart.

But I'm getting ahead of myself lol

It is when he is confronting the last of the daleks that he has to reconsider his beliefs of how the world had up till now functioned. He has been proven time and time again that the world is not always such a negative place, and that there is at times tranquility that could be found in the midst of the chaos. That the universe and it's inhabitants are capable of doing both good and evil.

So why is he so quick to want to kill the last of the daleks and cling to that cynicism he was beginning to reconsider? Here he is faced with a being who understands his pain, but in the form of his biggest enemy. It is not innocent, having been at one time capable of monstrous acts that caused mass suffering but...neither is he. There it stands defenseless and unarmed and yet he is the one threatening it with a weapon, just like Rose reasons. She is alive and unharmed, standing next to a dalek yet the active threat is not the dalek, it's him. He is tempted to kill it because his first instinct is to resort back to that hatred that gave him purpose for so long. The same poison the daleks used to eradicate the rest of his people. But is it truly incapable of being good, if not, then why is he any different? To give into the temptation would mean to validate that goodness could not be found everywhere. That if he followed the same mindset that once drove him to pull the trigger on everyone involved in the whole war, than he was doomed to become one of them. To repeat the endless cycle of violence and prove once and for all that he is a monster that cannot change.

Again the answer to the question is up to us to decide. But for him, there's only one clear answer.

No one else has to die. By choosing to not do anything he can live another day, without carrying the guilt of another being dying at his hands. Not because it has to be done, but because he has the option to refuse.

He can no longer assert that its existence as the final survivor of his race isn't important. That just because he hates it, doesn't mean it doesn't deserve a second chance like he got.

Really who is he to pass judgement, when there was a point in his life where he too was blinded by rage and the very narrow view he held of the world?

There is always a choice, and sometimes, the choice is to not take part in that decision.

And so that's what he does.

Rose takes on the burden for him, reaching out to the dalek in the same compassionate way he once did for him. Ordering the dalek to die not out of spite, but out of mercy because that is what the dalek wanted. A being born with the ultimate goal of surviving at all costs with hatred running through its blood, yet it's last moments are spent anguishing over all the death it caused. But unlike the Doctor, who strived to change as a result, he used up his second chance to end the pain. All it asked in return, was comfort or in other words...a hand to hold.

Or..so we think.

It's this ability to look past his biases that allows him to see the good in individuals like Mickey, Jack, and even Rose, when she inevitably screws up. He is able to grant them a second chance to prove themselves and keep them grounded, just like they did for him. His bonds to said people strengthen as a result and now he travels with a group of individuals he can trust with his life. People that can ease the burden and see the good in him.

Now the final episodes of his run is where the final test to his resolve to change is put into question. In a cruel twist of faith, history repeats itself.

Once again, he is given a choice: to let humanity die at the hand of the daleks, or end it all himself.

But alas he chooses not to give in. To not let himself become like the very thing he despises, because the alternative would mean witnessing the mass death of humanity at his hands. A group of beings he personally saw was capable of so much good, and was directly responsible for his change of heart. They reminded him that he was not above changing and that he could find meaning in simply continuing to find the good in others. He refuses, and so he seals his fate.

Yes he would die as a result, but at least he'll die knowing that he did all that he could. That he did not repeat the same cycle of violence that drove him to make the decision to eradicate all that he knew in an act of desperation.

He was free at last of the hatred that poisoned him for so long and it's due in part to the emotion that now stood in its place. Something he slowly cultivated throughout the span of his episodes: Love.

Love for humanity.

Love for Rose.

Love for himself. Because he finally did something he would not live to regret

" Before I go, i just want to tell you that you were fantastic. Absolutely fantastic. And you know what? So was I!"

When he finally regenerates, it is done with the intention that his final act is not one of destruction, but love. This man, with the blood of so many on his hands, was able to forgive himself through the compassion extended to him when he was at his lowest. Rose a mere human, through sheer kindness, was able to motivate the doctor to keep going. To not hang up on the inevitabilities of life, and to find beauty in what was fleeting.

To have faith in the good of the people around him, even when it wasn't easy.

Most importantly, she reminded him that his journey was not one that had to be solitary. He could share the burden with others, and in turn, build genuine friendships that would help ease that loneliness he felt.

What makes Rose special to the doctor is not that she is inherently special. She is not someone of high status nor this faultless god that is capable of doing no wrong. No what makes her important to him is the fact that she was perceptive enough to realize that he needed help, and selflessly gave it at a time where he was at his lowest. She extended the best of humanity towards him during a time where he desperately needed a reminder that life was more than just pain. She never gave up on him, always assuring him that he was capable of doing good even when he himself didn't believe it.

This was not a bond forged on shallow appearances or attraction, no, it was a deep friendship in which both people involved grew to become better versions of themselves by the end. They just so happened to fall in love in the process.

Something I want to point out is that the reason why he has the courage to kiss Rose is because his love for her, he feels, is unrequited. He thinks this will be the last chance to show her how much she means to him in this body, and perhaps ever. He is insecure, you see that in the way he practically sneers at any man that looks at her yet he never makes a move himself. That is why he is deeply confused as to why it takes her so long to warm up to his 10th incarnation in the Christmas invasion. Going as far as to claim that she had given up on him. A behavior that to him, makes no sense as he was essentially tailored to her tastes. A pretty boy, just like the ones she showed interest in previously.

This is why he asks her upon regenerating what she thinks of his appearance and once again when he wakes up from his coma. He wants her to fawn over him but doesn't take into account that maybe, bursting into flames isn't exactly a normal human occurrence lol

But we see that that is not true. His looks were never something that bothered her. Because whenever she is made to make a choice between the doctor and someone else, it's always him. Even at the expense of what he would consider to be the safer options.

Rose loved him since his 9th incarnation. This is made evident in the manner in which she immediately asks him to change back once he regenerates into 10 (Doctor Who Born Again, Children In Need Special 2005).

"Can you change back?"

"Do you want me to?"

"Yeah"

"Oh."

"Can you?"

"No"

(note: if you haven't seen this clip, I strongly recommend doing so as it adds so much context to the conflict explored in the Christmas special)

If she had solely loved him when he was 10, then she would have accepted him easily but she didn't. It took her the entirety of the Christmas invasion to understand that he was still the same man. This is why the episode focuses so much on 10 sort of dancing around her, trying to earn her approval by showing off how he's still the same man. Going as far as to pan on his face numerous times as he wistfully looks at her direction, all while he fights the sycorax as if to make sure that she is watching him be impressive. (it's something I realized upon rewatch, just how desperately he is trying to earn back her approval lol)

So with all of this in mind, nine essentially transforms into a new man. Figuratively and literally lol. A man that finds the joy in living again and meets each challenge with a curiosity akin to that of a child. He's fun, far less burdened (outwardly) by the death of his people and more open to meeting new people. He becomes what 9 physically believes to be the ideal image of a partner Rose would want, down to the wispy hair and handsome features. Not to mention younger, as if, physically representing the the burden being lifted from his body, thus de-aging him.

But with this new man that was born out of his love for humanity and Rose, there's a conflict that is more apparent than ever. Will he be able to overcome the implications that come with falling in love with a human?

This is where the conflict shifts, because with confronting this question he is left to actually take into consideration what it means to fall deeper in love with her. A scenario he previously only humored in fantasies because he was unaware that she returned them.

Had she simply loved him as a friend, it would have been easy to ignore it but no she had fallen for him too. So now he can no longer skirt around it. To fall for a human would mean to expose her to what a Time lord's life and perspective entails. How alien he truly is and how that especially affects the manner in which they communicate. This is explicitly said in the Christmas invasion, when her whole world shifts at the reminder that he is in fact not human.

"The thing is, I thought I knew him, Mum. I thought me and him were...and then he goes on and does this. I keep forgetting he is not human"

This is what series 2's main conflict is.

But it is far from one sided.

She in return, has to confront the inevitability of her death. Can she ask that of him, to put aside the pain and let her live out the rest of her days by his side? Once she outlives those she loves, would she become someone unlike herself?

Because now it's not a question of will they won't they, they know how they feel about one another. No, it's a matter of when.

This is why series two appears to have very little conflict between the two at first glance, but that's because the conflict is within themselves. Since ten was made with her in mind, they tend to operate very similarly and so they don't get in as many arguments as they did previously. Because again, ten exists from the changes made in nine. You cannot have one without the other,as they are the two sides of the same coin.

Another tid bit that must be mentioned is that 10's desire to be human can actually be traced back to 9's era. This is because the 9th doctor always made it a point to separate himself from Rose's family life. This is what causes him to have such a strained relationship with Jackie in the first place, because his refusal to take part in Rose's personal life directly interfered with Jackie's relationship to her daughter. Jackie does care for the Doctor. He is important to Rose and so she makes an effort to welcome him, even when he refuses.

But really from a few comments he makes off handedly in father's day, one can infer that the reason why he stays far away from their home life is more of a reflection of how he views himself. Like an outsider who cannot afford to get too close to the people around him.

After all he had this to say about the importance of living a life that is ordinary.

"i don't what this is all about, and I know we're not important -"

"who said you're not important? I've traveled to all sorts of places, done things you couldn't even imagine, but you two. Street corner, 2:00 in the morning, getting a taxi home. I've never had a life like that.."

You can't always trust the Doctor's words because he often puts on this unbothered front. But in this specific instance, he says this not as a means of diminishing it but rather being rather fond of the idea. To live the one adventure he could never have, sound familiar?

It's because of this that the 10th doctor makes an effort to be more involved in Rose's personal life. Extending his care towards her mother, and even spending the holidays with them. He even goes as far as to imply they were the closest thing to family when he tells Donna about it.

This long ass essay is all to essentially say that the idea of pitting ninerose, tenrose, and tentoorose against one another is rather pointless lol because they're all essentially the same ship but at different stages of their relationship. You cannot have the existence of one without the other because they all occupy the same man. All are equally valid according to the narrative and canon so please can we lay this useless competition to rest?

There's enough Rose to go around!

#10th doctor #doctor x rose #rtd era #tenrose #ninth doctor #nine x rose #rose x ten #ninerose #doctorrose #tentoo x rose #rambles #character analysis #retrospective #doctor who #someone should really take my phone away #cant stop thinking about them #this hyperfixation has me in a chokehold #timepetals #rose tyler

[mugentakeda]

opinion on Iroh living in Ba Sing Se in the comics ? :3c *bats eyelashes at Iroh meta mutual*

personally I get the political reasoning for it (he very much was well known for participating violently in the war so it'd be a pretty awkward way to start peace talks and such) but like... as an Iroh + Zuko codependency truther... hmn...

though he DOES come to the FN later in the comics to help Zuko out so its like.. did you leave him because you were terrified of making things worse ? were you convinced he didn't need you anymore and so lumbered off to BSS in self-imposed exile certain that you'd be a burden to his personal growth ? or did he just underestimate the distance .. forgot Zuko wouldn't be able to hop on a Bison all the time to visit him... driving me Krazy.

honestly. i think a horrific combination of all of these could work simultaneously. like theres political merit but also iroh might also personally somehow think him being away from zuko will benefit zuko (as if zuko didnt miraculously managing to undo his lifetime of Bad Things in less than like. A year. entirely through various methods of suffering. things that would take grown men their whole life and then some to undo, if even that. And hes like 16 and now hes a monarch and hes gonna be busting his ass everyday for the rest of his life until hes too old to stand up straight). and that yeah hed also underestimate how much being a world away from zuko actually sucks

because something i lovee highlighting in my art of them is that iroh doesnt just love his nephew, he likes his nephew. hes fond of his nephews crankiness, the hovering, the theatrics, the shouting and stomping, the awkwardness and thoughtfulness. there are probably days where iroh just cant work up the typical jovial customer service and diplomacy energy and just broods in the jasmine dragon because he keeps accidentally brewing enough tea for two, cooking enough dinner for two, calling through the house for his nephew and then remembering hes stuck cooped in the caldera, having screaming matches with his councilmen over how to deal with shit iroh and his brother and their forefathers did to scar the world not even before lunch time.

so its like. a combo of the Grand Lotus in iroh who focuses on the political merit and worldly benefits of him being in bss, the shitty ill in the dome codependent Uncle iroh who mopes over not having his prickly ass barnacle of a nephew looming over his shoulder and glaring at people all the time, the Bad At Emotions And Communicating guy in iroh that gets so ashamed of what hes willing to put his own kid through for the sake of the world that he doesnt know if he even has the stomach to visit the caldera and look his nephew in the eye as he drowns under mountains of stress dealing with irohs baggage, etc etc.

and there are also probably things zuko doesnt know about and iroh isnt sure if hed ever have the strength to tell zuko about. at the beginning of zukos joke banishment, the white lotus had been like well if you do decide to take the throne once we figure out how to take down ozai youll need an heir and if your nephew is as good deep down as you claim then maybe mold him to align with us so when you step down he could at the very least be a puppet ruler so we can ensure he doesnt start another war. and then that plan just got adjusted slightly and expanded upon once the avatar wasnt a fairy tale anymore. it hurts worse now after they had reconciled before the comet because now zuko looks at him with a loving, trusting, praising look, despite how little iroh believes he really deserves it. and worst of all he doubts theres anything he could really do to convince zuko that he doesnt deserve that because iroh would bet anything that zuko genuinely thinks hed deserve it if iroh decided he didnt want anything to do with zuko.

hes like doing these weird gymnastics where he pushes these hoity toity white lotus beliefs onto zuko despite barely even abiding by them himself , and then also knowing he doesnt deserve the blind adoration zuko has been showering him in lately. its like iroh takes all his conflicting emotions and opinions, puts them in a blender, drinks it, and then throws it all back up. i doubt theres anyway to conclude his thought process in a paragraph or less basically.

like i know a lot of people agree leaving zuko for bss retirement era is stupid and i agree but also consider the angst potential and also the white lotus is stupid and iroh is stupid and zuko isnt stupid but he also thinks iroh hung the sun and stars so its more sad on his part than anything because he cant even escape getting the short end of the stick with IROH and doesnt even know it. and it will probably stay that way. Lol!!!!!

#so in summary i think its all of the above . thank you gremkins #i had to stop myself because i could go on for like 1million more paragraphs about iroh and zukos dumbassery #weirdest best worst normalest insanest uncle nephew father son dynamic ever #they both are SO DERANGED!!! #atla #asks

[i-like-eyes]

So.. what's the deal with the cartoon network crossover? 👀

I'm glad you sent an ask I was originally going to make a separate post lol

The AU spawned from wanting to do my own take on FusionFall, which then became a fighting game, then the gameplay was reworked into an original idea and the designs of the CN characters were reworked into a comic. Since it started as a fighter that meant I had planned out separate stages for each franchise, as opposed to one uniform setting such as CN City or the popular shared school au. The fighter didn't really have a plot I just came up with the explanation that the kids are all KND (or TeenND) members and were just having a sparing match and the adult characters were somehow targets or smth. Now the current iteration is most the characters are just on the same planet and become involved in some way or another (probably the KND still). The reoccurring theme is just trying to find people like you.

The most clear idea I've had is between PPG and Ben 10; the girls are known around the world and Ben (and Gwen) feeling lonely want to meet other super hero kids their age. Grandpa Max reminds them they are still strangers and that Ben and Gwen have to keep their identities secret, but does some research into the girls and Professor Utonium and recognizes how he still value's their privacy. Max then tries to get in contact with Utonium to see if getting the kids together would even be a good idea. Utonium himself also recognizes the girls have tried to find other super hero kids to hang out with, but both he and Max spend like a year over email trying to see if they can even trust each other lmao. Eventually after the two meet up (and Max knows he can trust them with the alien thing) they agree to set up a playdate and the focus then moves to the kids as they interact.

Ben and Gwen are like uhhhh aged between the original and Alien Force. Kevin is also there but I want to write a different intro for him that involves Gwen more.

The girls I've pictured as this; Blossom handles the fame best of the 3 and also is the best when it comes to the press while Buttercup and Blossom prefer to stand back. While she is good at being the ideal Powerpuff Girl, she has ambitions in the same science as her father and struggles to balance the two. Buttercup still enjoys the art of fighting the most, and goes on the most solo missions, but gets treated unfairly for her more masculine behavior and has to deal with fitting in with neither girls nor boys. Bubbles also has to deal with unfair treatment by being undermined for being the most girlish (there is no winning) but lacks a hobby like the other two (though she has some artistic merit). She may be the loneliest of the three as a result. Although they all still share a good friend in Robin. Bubbles and Buttercup get along better than they did as kids, though Blossom doesn't want them to feel like she's ignoring the two.

For the sake of simplicity the ending of KND and the G:KND storyline with Nigel being shot into space is ignored. The KND as an organization is trying to expand the TND upon seeing the teen's potential for rebellion. They lack a way to regain old KND members back, so they go out trying to recruit teens while they wait for current KND members to just age up. Sector V was selected for TND and go out and try and recruit new members. The ideas I have for them involve the awkward wait between the V members going 12 -> 13 years and transitioning between jobs. My personal hc was that in the show at one point it's Kuki and Wally at 10, Nigel at 11, then Hoagie and Abby at 12, with Kuki being the youngest and Abby the oldest. During and after this transition phase they are sent out on recruitment missions which is where the crossover stuff comes in.

Hoagie is sent to see if either Dexter or Mandark is available. Mandark is a dick but Dexter get points knocked down for getting funding from the adult-run NASA. It turns into another ego battle between Dexter and Mandark while Hoagie has to deal with the two rich kids. Dee Dee is there to fuck with all 3 of them and is the one that gets recruited. Hoagie probably also treats this like a sports movie or smth.

The Time Squad sometime in the future are homeschooling Otto, they try to get him socializing with kids his age during missions but think that he should be spending time with kids from his century. Otto has been researching not just history but what happens after his time as well. He wants to meet heroes when they were his age.

I have A LOT of ideas for the Eds but most of it isn't crossover material. But I like the idea of them just accidentally walking into other shows, Courage or Foster's in particular.

The world in this AU is basically only limited by shows with hugely conflicting lore. That's vague but that mostly means like, the Land of Ooo conflicts with most shows. So to justify AT it's like. An alternate Earth and somehow Finn finds his way to this one and loses his shit over other humans. While he's glad to find kids like him Jake worries that Finn may prefer this world to Ooo and that he may leave. Jake is all ready to come to terms with this and Finn is like dude what we have only been here for 5 hours.

Billy and Mandy are mostly antags like in the KND crossover. I have a super vague idea for Billy somehow giving up Grim to other kids and they keep trading him for like a corn chip, and while other toon guys go on adventures with the reaper, Mandy drags Billy with her to get Grim back. At some point Numbuh 1 meets the Regular Show crew I forgot to draw and his world view is shattered. Gumball and Darwin are there. Etc.

I'd probably prioritize the first PPG and Ben 10 story as the clearest I got rn. But otherwise I'd love to see other people's crossover stuff and just old CN or cartoons in general.

#cartoon network #i may need to come up with a name for this sort of project #powerpuff girls #ppg #ben 10 #knd #dexter's laboratory #time squad #fhfif #eene #eh i wont tag the stuff not with a drawing #myart #asks #i will 100% end up going back and editing this

[abigailnussbaum]

I put off watching it for a while because I was pretty sure I was going to have this reaction. But now that I've bitten the bullet, I'm sorry: the Strange New Worlds musical episode is bad. It's bad as a Star Trek story, it's bad as part of the Strange New Worlds story, and it's bad as a musical.

To start with, I think it's time to admit that the musical episode concept is pretty depleted. "Once More, With Feeling" was more than twenty years ago, and what was once fresh and shocking now feels almost rote. Very few shows really manage to earn it, because they don't have to - the musical episode of a non-musical show is an established trope, which means the very thing that made it so groundbreaking is now gone.

But it's specifically a bad fit for Star Trek, not because it can't justify the concept - there's honestly no daylight between Buffy's "a demon who makes people sing and dance" and SNW's "subspace anomaly pulls us into a universe where people habitually break into song" - but because that kind of fourth-wall-breaking, genre-aware storytelling doesn't belong in Star Trek (or, at the very least, it belongs in something a lot more heightened like Lower Decks).

Star Trek isn't knowing. It isn't genre-savvy. Star Trek is earnest. And it takes its world seriously and treats it like something coherent in its own right, not something you can poke holes in and peek into our own universe from. When it comes down to it, the core flaw of all NuTrek shows is that they're often less concerned with being Star Trek, the story, and more interested in being about Star Trek, the franchise.

Strange New Worlds is an odd duck in this respect, because there are parts of it that so clearly understand Star Trek, the story, and are so clearly interested in expanding it, that I can't help but fall in love. Episodes like "Spock Amok", "A Quality of Mercy", and "Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow" do such a great job of slotting into the existing story while making it their own (though I could wish the show was better at telling original stories). I'm especially wowed by how they're handling Kirk, who is such a smart, non-sensational take on the character while still having all the recognizable flaws and quirks of the original.

But it's also a show that thinks breaking the fourth wall is the height of sophistication, that is more than willing to comment on its storyness in a way that runs completely counter to its Star Trek-ness. You see this in episodes like "The Elysian Kingdom", "Those Old Scientists", and now "Subspace Rhapsody". And if the first two of those at least had a Star Trek link - "Elysian Kingdom" is essentially a holodeck episode (even if it isn't as good as any of them), and "Those Old Scientists" is obviously all about Star Trek (even if, like so many media franchises these days, it collapses living in the Star Trek universe into being a Star Trek fan). But "Subspace Rhapsody" is just a gimmick, fundamentally no different from similar episodes on Lucifer or Grey's Anatomy or The Flash.

And worst of all, it's a bad musical. One effect of the fact that this trope has become so familiar is that it has created an sideline for talented songwriters who can knock out an episode like this without putting much personality or style into it, just hitting the required beats. There's got to be a power ballad. There's got to be a comedy song. There's got to be a kicky saloon number and a big finale. "Subspace Rhapsody" feels like the nadir of that cottage industry's output. The songs are all generic. The lyrics are forgettable while you're listening to them. There's no unified theme or style, because the point isn't to be a musical. It's to convey a general sense of musical-ness. Beyond the novelty value of a Star Trek musical - which, as noted, is pretty degraded in 2023 - there's nothing here of artistic merit, much less something that feels uniquely like a Star Trek musical.

(Case in point: the Klingons. Having them do boy band music is a joke that's funny for the audience, probably means nothing to the characters, and most importantly, does not make sense within Star Trek. Of course Klingons would sing - they would sing opera.)

As if to add insult to injury, the biggest character development in the episode - which is also driven by the only memorable song - feels baffling, and ends up shortchanging a relationship that the show has been trying to get us to invest in for more than ten episodes. Spock and Chapel got together at the end of episode 6, had a crisis in episode 8, and are now, in episode 9, breaking up for another, unrelated reason. Seems like a better use of everyone's time might have been to let these characters and their relationship develop organically, rather than informing us, through song, that Chapel has suddenly decided to prioritize her career (by, um, leaving Enterprise for so short a period that most couples wouldn't even consider it a major relationship challenge). Are we meant to understand that something deeper was wrong, and that the internship has brought it to light? If so, why haven't we seen it? It's hard not to feel that the musical was being used as a shorthand for emotional development the show didn't feel equipped to deliver, which is only one more way in which it underserves the show.

#star trek #strange new worlds #my fundamental problem with the nutrek project

[mxtxfanatic]

The way the Xianle trio answer the “two wanderers, one cup of water” dilemma is fascinating. Starting with Mu Qing and Feng Xin:

The Head Priest spoke, “Two walked the desert, about to die from thirst, and there was only one cup of water. The one who drinks lives, the one who doesn’t, dies. If you were a god, who would you give that cup of water to? - - Don’t speak yet, I’ll ask the other two and see how they answer.”

The last part of his words were directed to the two standing not too far behind. Mu Qing contemplated and responded cautiously, “May I ask who those two people are, what their natures are like, and what of their merits? A decision can only be made once all the details are known.”

Feng Xin on the other hand, answered, “I don’t know! Don’t ask me, tell them to decide amongst themselves!”

—Chapt. 68: To Ascend is Human; to Fall is Also Human (Part Three)

It may seem that Mu Qing and Feng Xin have given different answers, they are actually the same. Mu Qing says that the person who he’d give the water to is one who is found valuable in the eyes of societal hierarchy. Feng Xin says that he would give the water to whoever they decide on “amongst themselves,” which outsources the issue to the individuals to decide by which test they would choose to pick the winner, either by debate or fighting, etc. But both of these are still putting a set value on an individual’s life, indirectly saying that they believe there to be some objective value or morally neutral scenario that would make sacrificing someone’s life not only permissible but morally correct.

Xie Lian, on the other hand, has an entirely different, effortless response:

Xie Lian turned his head back and said in all seriousness, “Why are you guys laughing? I’m serious. If I was god, I would definitely give another cup.”

Feng Xin and Mu Qing accepted the premise that, despite being gods, they are limited. Xie Lian rebelled against this same assumption, because if he is a god, why shouldn’t he be able to procure just one more cup of water for just one individual on the verge of death by thirst? Why would a god not be able to save everyone he wants to? Guoshi gives an answer:

The Head Priest gently shook that cup of tea in his hand, and the tea swirled in the cup, as if alive. He continued, “All the fortunes in the world, good or bad, are limited. Just like this cup of water, there’s only so much. Once you’ve drunken your fill, there’d be no more left for others. If one receives more, the other must receive less. Throughout the ages, all conflicts are borne from the fact that there are many in this world, but only one cup of water, and no matter who it’s given to there’d be a good reason. You want to change fate? It’s difficult but not impossible. But if you change that child’s life, someone else’s life will also be changed, and more grudges shall be created. Once upon a time you said to just give another cup of water, just like today how you wanted to choose a third path. Your intention is to expand the source; a beautiful thought. But, I will tell you, it’s impossible.”

So tacitly, Guoshi also believes the same as Feng Xin and Mu Qing, that everything is finite and everyone is limited, even the gods. As the story goes on, we are given countless scenarios in which Xie Lian is limited as both a human crown prince, a beloved god, and a banished wanderer. However, he continues to stick with his answer that he would find a way to give two cups. How? Well, for all of Guoshi’s talk of the limits of resources in the world, neither he nor the other two ever took into account one thing: the god can give his own cup to the second thirsty person.

And as long as Xie Lian’s cup is flowing, he has something to give to save one more life.

#human reads tgcf: take 1.5 #human metas mxtx #ignoring for a moment the idea of sacrificing populations because of 'limited resources' being grounded in a eugenics falsehood #that we are limited in resources to begin with rather than a very small portion of humans being very VERY greedy and hoarding it #let's talk about how xie lian's answers to 'no there are limits' is: #then i'll give from my own pockets #'i'll disperse my fortune and wealth and strength #as long as it means one more person can live another day' #THAT is the kind of person xie lian is

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

I am trying to expand definitions what what are first, second, third world etc places. But I'm going to need more than that because it doesn't fit sci fi much as some places are medieval or older and others have extremely technology advanced. But even in each, there are different statuses. People who live like royalty/wealthy in a medieval world getting categorised near the bottom is natural when compared to the universe but also a bit unfair? I don't know. And there are obvious poor places in technology advanced worlds - but are miles ahead of royalty in medieval worlds. I'm not how to deal with this.

Licorice: Instead of using “first world”, “second world”, and “third world”, terms which are falling out of use anyway, have you considered using one of the terms used nowadays by aid and development circles, such as “developed country” or “low-income country”? These terms come with their own baggage and some people consider them to be equally pejorative, but they have the merit of describing the metric on which they’re based. 

If you’re building a sci-fi world, your starting place should be the standards which the powers that be in your world use to group, or rank, its communities (planets; countries; civilisations). If you have a Mother Planet that lords it over more recently colonised planets, you could have a literal First World-Second World situation. If the colonised planets then go on to colonise new planets of their own - Third World! If it’s all about which states have the most military power versus those which have little or none, you could invent a different term for that. 

Many sci-fi books and shows divide the world into communities/planets that share advanced tech and the culture that goes with it, and communities/planets that have been judged “not yet ready” for such tech, or communities/planets which are lagging behind in their development of that tech.

Tex: The terms you’re using come from the Cold War era (Wikipedia 1, Wikipedia 2), and are in use mostly as a function of macroeconomics (Wikipedia). As such, in order to expand such definitions, you need to have a similar catalyzing event in your world’s history to have the same functional starting point.

In this respect, I would encourage you to study Star Trek: The Original Series, as it was written during the Cold War and has much contemporary criticism to the social turbulence of the time (Wikipedia, Memory Alpha).

For a perspective that’s roughly a generation or so removed from the Cold War, I would recommend both Stargate SG-1 (Wikipedia, SGCommand) and Stargate Atlantis (Wikipedia, SGCommand), as it’s useful to understand intergenerational impacts of socioeconomic decisions made for the entrenchment of social stratification, particularly in a sci-fi setting.

Historically, the creation of such disparate social classes as seen in, as you describe, the European medieval era, is due to the consequential accumulation of wealth caused by many series of war based upon cultural stipulations like religious strictures. Whatever originally created royalty and nobility, it frequently becomes a fixed social class due to artificial means. If a social norm is artificially devised, then the conclusion usually follows that it is unfair by design and thus not natural, because there are no avenues for change to fix any flaws that crop up.

Addy: It seems to me that you're trying to get a scale to describe societies at different tech levels. I'd recommend looking at the tech level system from the Traveller tabletop game - I think that could be a good spot for getting started. Or look at tech levels from other systems and things - that should help get you what you're looking for, a set of terms to effectively describe the technological level of a society.

Feral: I don’t have much to add to what Licorice and Tex have already said, but I would recommend studying cultural relativism to help with expanding your reasoning on how cultures interact with out reducing the broad spectrum of human experience to “advancement.”

#google submitted #terminology

[musashi]

You're the first person I see actually preferring fanfiction over "normal" books altogheter. I often see people saying fanfic is "just as good" as books or better than "some" published novels, but never so completely. Good for you! (I don't mean this in a mean way, just interesting that people generally compare fanfics to books as "the standard" while someone can like it more in general for its own merits)

i mean the only difference between fanfiction and published original fiction is that the setting/characters are already established. that's it. so it's really just a matter of if you want a new story and world or if you'd rather expand upon one you already love.

i'm autistic, i enjoy the same thing over and over and over again without getting bored, so i like fanfiction because i don't need to invest energy into learning about new characters and plot details. i'm content with these ones for now, i'll move onto new ones when i'm bored in several years.

it's a pretty simple equation!

#wendy answers #Anonymous

[fictional-library-tournament]

Prelims round 1, poll 1

Propaganda:

The Halls of All-Knowing, various Thor comics:

None

Williston Library, Smif College, Questionable Content by Jeff Jacques:

None

Basement at Goodman, Lieber, Kurtzberg & Holliway, various She-Hulk comics:

In the mid-2000s She-Hulk solo titles, law firms in the marvel universe practising superhuman law keep comics libraries of marvel comics, which are officially licensed biographies and used in court as primary sources!

Tales of Our Own, Green Lantern Far Sector:

None

The Hicksville Lighthouse Library, Hicksville by Dylan Horrocks:

Once a comics writer hits a certain point in their lives, they can go to the town of Hicksville, NZ. There are about three dozen inhabitants, all of whom are very knowledgeable about all types of comics. Old men bicker on the merits of Edward P. Jacobs vs Sergio Aragones, the municipal library has multiple mint condition copies of Action comics #1, the tea and the rarebit are especially good at the local café. It's easy to find accommodation and art supplies there.

Here, comics writers can write the comics they always wanted to. Unbound from commercial appeal, material difficulties, anything. Once in Hicksville, they can do it. Then it goes in the lighthouse library. You can read the comics of Picasso and Lorca, Harvey Kurtzman's History of war, Wally Wood's Map of magic, the finished Phoenix by Tezuka and so many more. All the great works that could've made the medium sing, from writers the world over, pure freedom in a million different formats. The only rule to observe is that the works here are Tapu, Taboo in the Maori sense (the caretaker of the place is Maori) as in, a community resource that must not be exploited.

The library is located partly underground, partly in the Hicks Point lighthouse in New Zealand.

Junior Woodchucks Guidebook, Guardians of the Lost Library by Don Rosa:

"The Junior Woodchucks Guidebook?", you no doubt ask. "Isn't that just a book? A single book does not a library make?" And yes, it is just a book - and at the same time, no, it absolutely is a library. The library, actually. This tiny book is the actual, literal lost library of Alexandria, and contains all its lost wisdom and lore (except, sadly, the plays and poetry) preserved and expanded through the ages as various keepers cared for the library, preserved it by constantly transcribing and transferring it into the newest media and adding more and more content along the way - for instance, Marco Polo added all the books he brought back from China - until eventually, the library came to Duckburg, where it was collected in one single, huge volume - which a bit later became the very first "Junior Woodchucks Guidebook" - with some added modern knowledge and an entire organization dedicated to it's continued safekeeping. So, yeah - Junior Woodchucks Guidebook = Library of Alexandria + more

#fictional libraries #tumblr tournament #archives #books & libraries #fictional archives #libraries #tumblr polls #poll #comics #she-hulk

[hopeonmyphone]

World Music Awards Twitter

Happy 30th Birthday to the gorgeous, super talented record-breaking, history-making Million-seller rapper, singer-songwriter, dancer, record producer, choreographer & Global Icon, the One & Only #jhope who rings in his birthday, trending at #1 WORLDWIDE on X! 👏🎂🎉🌟🐐👑💜

jhope rose to fame as the main Rapper of #BTS, the Biggest Boy band in the world! He is a hugely successful Solo Artist in his own right and one of the Best K-Pop performers, always paving the way! He was the first K-Pop soloist to enter the “Top 100 Most Followed Artists” on Spotify, the first K-Pop Soloist to surpass 16 Million followers and the most followed on Spotify for many years (now 2nd)! He's the 1st K-soloist to debut an album (Jack in the box) with over 60Million streams and the 1st Kpop Soloist to have 3 albums surpassing 500 Million streams on Spotify! j-hope is also the 1st South Korean Artist in history to headline a major US music festival "Lollapalooza" and the highest ticket- selling artist in Lollapalooza’s history! With his song "on the street" J-Hope is the 1st Asian Act to enter the Top 10 of the Billboard R&B/Hip-Hop Digital Song Sales Year End Chart and the 1st member of BTS to earn a top-40 entry on the UK Singles Chart following its debut at #37, setting a new record as the highest-charting Korean soloist in the history of the chart at the time! j-hope ties PSY as the 4th K-Pop Act with the most #1 hits in World Digital Song Sales chart history after BTS, Blackpink & Big Bang! #jhope's solo discography including his songs under BTS has achieved 1,500 #1's on iTunes! He ties Suga as the Rapper with the most songs with over 100 x #1s on iTunes! His first solo mixtape, 'Hope World', in 2018 peaked at #38 on the US Billboard 200, breaking the record for the highest-charting album by a K- soloist at the time. He became the 1st member of BTS to enter the Billboard Hot 100 as a soloist in 2019, with his single "Chicken Noodle Soup", fr-t. #BeckyG, which debuted at #81. In 2022, J-Hope's chart-topping debut studio album 'Jack in the Box', scored the 5th biggest Album debut among K-Pop soloists in history! J-hope is also the 1st K-POP Act to headline Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve in 2022!

j-hope has received 30 nominations and has won numerous awards including a Golden Disc Award in 2023, a Korean Hip Hop Award in 2023 for Best R& B track for "Rush Hour" with Crush and 2 MAMA Awards in 2022 including Most Popular Male Artist! In 2018, he was awarded the fifth-class Hwagwan Order of Cultural Merit by the President of South Korea and in 2021, he was appointed Special Presidential Envoy for Future Generations and Culture by President Moon Jae-in to help "lead the global agenda for future generations, such as sustainable growth" and "expand South Korea's diplomatic efforts and global standing" in the international community!

He is also a leading Fashion Icon, being the global ambassador for the French luxury brand #LouisVuitton!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HOBI

#jung hoseok #hoseok #jhope #BTS #정호석 #호석 #제이홉 #방탄소년단 #jhope news

[neros-w]

On Nihilism and the Idealist

This post goes into deep analysis of Buddhist philosophy and the events of A Parade of Providence, spoiling both the event and the events of the Inversion of Genesis. Please read at your own risk!

In concluding Sumeru, I had to give some thought on the big event of the region and wanted to understand why it was that it featured Kaveh so heavily, why Wanderer was chosen for Vahumana, and what exactly it was trying to say about Sumeru overall.

... This also may have been research for an upcoming fic but that is neither here nor there.

Now, all that's left is the evidence.

Lofty ideals may provide no defense at all against nihilism, but perhaps little decisions can. By their own choice, the idealist seeks to bring happiness to all, while denying themselves the same. Thus they shall never reach even the borders of truth until they wipe away the ignorance that blinds them. — Alhaitham, in his investigation on Sachin’s disappearance

No one, not even I included, can understand [truth] in its entirety. All of us are somewhere on the path toward truth. — Nahida, The Arc of Intellect

On the last quest of the event, it's revealed that Nahida ordered Wanderer to join the Championship to make sure that whoever inherited Sachin’s research wasn’t going to use it to harm people.

Allegedly.

(This investigation seemed to largely skip over Matra jurisdiction as well, with Nahida planning to let Wanderer mete out extrajudicial justice, when deemed necessary.

… Unless Wanderer is part of the Matra now. Now, that certainly is a thought.)

Sachin’s essays involved experiments confirming his allegedly bleak nihilistic views re: the future of mankind. These essays are, in fact, philosophies in Madhyamaka (which seems to just be referencing Tantric Buddhism… which just so happens to be what Wanderer is designed after).

Madhyamaka, for brief context, is a path of Buddhism founded by Nagarjuna, who further expanded upon nihilism in Buddhist texts. Nagarjuna, of course, also exists in Teyvat under the same name, founding the Order of Skeptics.

In the investigations around Sachin and Kaveh's father, it seems that Sachin's point of interest in desert research had been the Nagarjunites– the lost Darshan, so to speak. After eight years, Sachin came to the conclusion, after seemingly having met with the Order of Skeptics, that humanity is doomed to forever keep the suffering suffering, keeping them from ever reaching the thrones of Celestia due to their own selfishness.

The inclusion of his inheritance and the diadem in the Championship is one of Sachin’s last experiments, a challenge to see if showcasing greed and the promise of power and wealth urging humans into beating each other down would draw out a like-minded idealist who wishes to seek similar truths among the rabble.

Which, it did. Twice.

Kaveh’s Philosophy

Nahida’s point in making Wanderer watch out for the developments of this particular experiment means that she might have known what happened to Kaveh’s father 20 years ago. She must have wanted Wanderer to watch what Kaveh would have done, had he accepted Sachin’s inheritance and research. As an extension, she must have wanted him to either learn from or understand Kaveh’s own philosophies as an idealist. She wanted Wanderer to either help Kaveh or learn from the guilt erupting from turning a blind eye, had he let Kaveh die or get hurt in that experiment.

Backing this, Nahida believes that Kaveh’s philosophy on the truth is an unpopular but very wise interpretation that Sumeru should adopt as a whole. From his own Character Story:

The selfish cannot understand wisdom's final destination. Though all of us might claim to have a place in this great hall of learning, we must understand that it is people, and not knowledge, that make our world what it is. Without a vessel, knowledge shall have no home. Universal values must naturally have some merit to be named such, and denying their general meaning does not mean that minority viewpoints will arise accordingly. This is the case with aesthetics. Beauty is something objective that exists in human hearts. It will not lose its value simply because some people cannot understand it. To view oneself as some mighty vessel is to fall to the narrowness of the researcher. Know that truth has never existed for the sake of individuals. The logic of the world coexists with nature, and this will not easily change whether it is interpreted as such or not. Excessive belief in the object is self-disclosure just the same, a manifestation of a lack of confidence in the subject. Moreover, one who is sufficiently self-confident will not need to constantly use plural forms of address, such as 'we.' I alone am sufficient to sustain this position — this I can assert.

In this sense, Wanderer and Sachin’s beliefs that a history of conflict is a self-perpetuating cycle is one Nahida does not contest. It lays in Alhaitham’s note at the beginning of this post.

Lofty ideals may provide no defense at all against nihilism, but perhaps little decisions can.

As change is the only constant in Buddhism, a butterfly effect occurs.

Because Wanderer does improve himself in the Championship.

In every challenge, he assists contestants while not even participating in the event itself. While it is true that he doesn’t want the prizes, or the diadem, while it is true that he’s under direct orders to participate, challenging Layla’s lack of self-confidence, handing Tighnari water in the desert, and making sure Kaveh doesn’t fly off-course and wins the final round are all acts that equally amount to nothing.

And yet he did so anyway.

Like little decisions as a defense against nihilism.

#a parade of providence #3.6 event #kaveh genshin impact #nahida genshin impact #the wanderer genshin impact #the wanderer #kaveh #nahida #character analysis #genshin analysis #this one... took me all night.

[reimenaashelyee]

what's the merit between getting a book published and posting as a webcomic? could you finish a webcomic and then pitch that finished work

Again, it really depends on what you want for that book in particular - and sometimes the circumstances of that book. I wouldn't make Seance Tea Party or My Aunt is a Monster into a webcomic - they are for kids (it's hard to get and moderate a kids audience online), and wouldn't be appropriately serviced by the restricted distribution options online to reach those readers in person. So they have to be actual books. I often judge a book's suitability for the traditional market by the targeted audience and if the market fits the story (rather than the other way around). For me, if I can get a book to be supported by the big engine of publishing resources, I will try. With publishing, you'd be able to access the services of people who are already hired to deal with marketing, distributing, accounting, designing and producing your book, handling shipping, international rights, getting into libraries and bookstores and schools... these are things you can't do if you're publishing webcomics on your own... or things you'd rather avoid doing.

I make webcomics for stories I am really passionate about, but cannot (or refuse to) bring to the traditional market : like The World in Deeper Inspection, The Carpet Merchant of Konstantiniyya and Alexander Comic, all risky, unusual, adult work. These are books that need to prove themselves to the market, but even if they don't, I don't care. Because I just want to see them exist, and I have other personal, non-capitalist reasons to pursue those stories. I like webcomics since it's so accessible and the expanded creative freedom (no market, no physical limitations) benefits the stories I choose to make as webcomics. And I can make the work on my own pace. The only problems would be that if you were to crowdfund/self-publish your webcomic you'd have a hard time getting it into bookstores and libraries - not many of them are forward-thinking in that regard. And there's having to market/promote it. And money lol.

Yes you can finish a webcomic and pitch that work. i.e The Glass Scientist, Smile, Nimona, Delilah Dirk are all webcomics that got picked up by traditional publishers Plus the humour, relatable comics you see online. Sometimes the publisher may ask you to take down the original webcomic or truncate it (this is normal, especially for the mainstream, older publishers). Sometimes they may allow you to keep the whole thing online. YMMV, depending on which side you lean towards. I want my webcomics to be entirely preserved online even after they go to print - so I may have to negotiate harder or reject the offer.

#comics #pitching #publishing

[amessageonthewind]

New Horizons

Pairing: Connor/Hannah 1 year after being married.

Word Count: 1360

My half of my art trade with @nerdstreak

Skylines had quickly become a favourite of the Anderson household. Well, more accurately the love for them had been reignited once new life had taken residence in the household that had been previously haunted by the natural oppressive presence of grief, blame, and guilt. The solitude only amplified the suffocating nature of such a haunting.

The home was plagued by solitude no longer, now that Lieutenant Hank Anderson had acquired (though, more accurately adopted) two androids. Something he never thought he’d ever do.

Not until he’d met Connor and Hannah. It was a strange set of circumstances he’d found himself in and he had no choice but to deal with them, though Connor was way more of a pain in the ass. Actually…Hannah was nothing but a sweetheart, to be frank. The fact that she was his android for a while did make him a bit uncomfortable, but once she had deviated and still chose to stay with him in his home, he’d felt not even an echo of that discomfort in quite some time.

Now, these two were like family. They’d only been a part of the lieutenant’s life for a comparatively short time, but their inclusion in it left nothing left to be desired for someone as weathered as he was. For a while, the Anderson household was completely devoid of community. And now, community was all it ever saw.

Case and point, Riverside Park. What was once a painful reminder of the loss that Hank had suffered had now become a place of new beginnings. Hannah was standing by the railings of the park, easel set up and painting the skyline. She was experimenting with painting a picture using one colour in various shades and saturations while including whatever fleeting thoughts pass through her mind during the painting process. She may have been an android designed to copy art pieces by the man who previously owned her, but her artistic merit could not be understated…and she had only grown more and more skilled every day.

It had been roughly a year since Hannah and Connor had gotten married, Markus having officiated the wedding and Hank being proud to be asked to walk her down the aisle. Androids were just starting out, developing their own distinct culture, customs, and traditions all on their own. Some of them borrowed from human culture – after all, humans did create them and maybe over time, androids would become more and more divorced from human culture as they began to properly evolve and grow on their own – while others adamantly refused to.

Hank couldn’t possibly keep up with all of it, interesting though it was, but he was perfectly content supporting the pair of them.

On the bench, Hank and Connor were both contentedly observing Hannah while she painted. He was enjoying the atmosphere and the sounds of the hustle and bustle of the park and the bridge in the distance. Meanwhile Connor’s eyes were squarely on his wife. He was a man who valued details, as per his function and his naturally curious personality. It was hard not to take in every detail of his wife, the furrow of her brow and the focus in her eyes, every deliberate stroke of her brush delivered through avenue of her delicate hands.

And, of course, the art piece itself, a picture pulled from her mind’s eye so complex and unknown even to herself, like many androids who were living in this new world of deviancy and free will. Every detail and fleeting thought depicted on the canvas told him of everything that went on around and even inside Hannah.

Even without speaking, his world expanded every time he even so much looked at her. It was easy for Connor to sink into it as he gazed at her. So much so that he almost didn’t realize that Hank was speaking to him. “I’m sorry?”

“Jeez, I’m not used to you actually getting distracted. But it’s been a long time since I’ve seen people look at each other the way you two do, so I can’t really complain.” Hank gruffly joked, a jovial tone in his voice as he chuckled in affectionate amusement at the android he’d come to see as a son. “I was just asking if you and Hannah thought about maybe going on a late honeymoon or something since you two got hitched.”

Connor tilted his head a bit. He heard of the concept and he was aware of it, but he had never really considered it personally. It sounded pleasant, upon reflection. It just simply hadn’t crossed his mind until now. “We haven’t discussed it previously, why?”

Hank simply shrugged, pursing his lips underneath his grayed beard for a moment before he leaned back against the bench, pale eyes reflecting the colour of the sky cast back to it. “Just wondering. It’s not important or anything, it’s just…a nice thing to sorta go off on your own somewhere with your partner and not have to worry about any responsibilities or work and just be with them. Away from the rest of the world, y’know?” He replied. It had been a while since he’d even thought about his ex-wife and she’d been out of his life for so long that she was nothing more than a neutral footnote in his mind.

But, it was nice to actually have something of a reason to think about stuff like this. Hannah and Connor deserved to know all the nice parts of being in a relationship and being married. He just figured he’d float some options to them if they were interested. There weren’t a lot of travel options for androids, still, but they could probably plan something if they wanted to go for it. Hank could handle being alone better now than he used to, now that his house felt like a home, again.

Ruminating on the covert suggestion that Hank had offered, though hesitant to interrupt his wife, Connor got up from his seat and discreetly made his way towards her, hands folded neatly behind his back, thumb fiddling with the wedding finger snugly fit onto its respective finger. The very same one that glinted in the light on Hannah’s hand as she painted.

He was about to speak up to get her attention when he paused to observe her painting. Amongst the hues of blue were little shapes and silhouettes of everything that was going on around her – children running and playing with their families, birds, dogs, and of course…planes.

One of which was followed by a trail of little bright blue hearts that dotted the canvas brightest among all the hues and shades. Hannah, of course, was neither blind nor deaf. She had overheard Connor’s conversation with Hank on the park bench and a soft warm smile was gracing her lips as she set her brush down, turning to meet her beloved husband’s soft gaze.

Naturally, he knew instantly that she’d overheard him and patiently waited for her response. “I haven’t really thought about it much, myself. But…I think it’s a great idea. Just going off somewhere, you and me, and not having to worry about anything else. Just us for a little while. Don’t you?”

Gaze flitting between the beautiful azure canvas of the Detroit skyline dotted with all of the immediate experiences around her, he gave her his signature lopsided grin, reaching for her hand and bending down to kiss her forehead, a contented hum accompanying the affectionate and loving gesture. “I think so, too.”

Chuckling in satisfaction, Hank leaned back and crossed his arms, eyes grazing the skyline again. Man…this placed used to be somewhere so painful. Somewhere that reopened old scars. A place he used for the same purpose he used alcohol.

Now, it was a place that bandaged those wounds and allowed them to heal…and he owed it to these two. He might not live nearly as long as they would, especially at his age, but he had every confidence that they would live a long and happy life together.

So finally, he could say without a doubt that Hank Anderson would die a happy man.

#nerdstreak

[thecurioustale]

If You Lose Interest in Writing Your Stories Once You Figure Them Out...

I have heard many writers say that, once they know what their story is, they lose interest in writing it. This is certainly understandable: It's the default stance of an American audience. We should therefore expect it of many an American writer. That stance, in a nutshell, takes the view that stories are fundamentally more enjoyable and engaging when their outcome is unknown: We are very much an anti-spoiler culture here, and we even go so far as to construct stories that heavily depend for their merit upon the thoughtful revealing of concealed story details and plot and character "twists" through the course of the story.

It's not surprising that many if not most writers of this stripe want to have their cake and eat it too. This is perhaps one thing that sets apart many a hobbyist writer from the profession of authorship, which is very much a form of work and isn't necessarily supposed to be enjoyable. But it's not quite so simple as leaving it at this, since many professional authors also express the same opinion: A story has to remain unknown to them on some level to be worth writing—or, in more extreme cases, to even be possible for them to write.

This isn't necessarily a matter of the big, sweeping story beats either. In fact, oftentimes, writers (including professional authors) will tell you that they do in fact know some or all of their story's big beats. It is the intermediate stuff rather, the in-betweens, that most commonly gets singled out (when a writer bothers to make this degree of distinction) as the aspect which is desired to be kept unknown until it is actually written.

I interpret this to generally mean that the writers who espouse this view want the freedom to sit down to write individual chapters, scenes, events, etc. whose lay is unknown to them. So in other words we're back to what I just said: They want to experience their story in real-time as an audience member rather than as its creator.

It would be easy for me to say that I understand this position and am sympathetic to it. It would also be true: I do understand and I am sympathetic to it. I feel this way myself sometimes. I know from experience that it feels different to write a scene where I know in advance what must happen in the scene, and that it feels still more different to write a scene where I know in advance the entirety of the story. And I know that each of these is successively farther away from being "why I write." My one published novel, the Prelude, had a great deal of this kind of "housekeeping" writing, and it was quite a different experience from the exploratory, world-expanding writing that I'm used to.

But that wouldn't be a particularly interesting commentary. I think the more interesting take for me here, and also one which I can inhabit truthfully, is a lot less forgiving:

The writer is not the audience and needs to do some damn work.

I think that anyone who aspires to write must confront this reality and accept its consequences. Writing entails a whole lot of work, pertinently (for our purposes here) including—but certainly not limited to—the mechanical fulfillment of story text in service of completing a known or "solved" story. While it is possible to reject this responsibility to the bitter end, with the writer holding out unknowns till the very last pages are written—and some writers do this—I think that this denial almost always significantly undermines the quality and expression available to a writer via the forfeiture of the opportunity to more intentfully structure and order their story.

In other words, I think if you want your story to have its best chances of becoming its best self, you have to give up your desire for the gratification of being one of its readers and commit to the stewardship and obligations of being its author.

This tension, of a storyteller wanting to be an audience to their own story and be treated to the audience experience of its revelation, is one of multiple reasons why I ultimately describe myself as a story-experiencer.

To share that particular schema: If I'm being casual and don't necessarily want to converse about it, I will tell someone that I am a "writer." Slightly more conversational and sassy is the word "author" in its place. Much closer to the truth, and what I will use when I am being more open and precise but either don't have the space or don't have the desire to really get into it, is that I will call myself a storyteller. But one layer deeper than that is that I am at heart a story-experiencer. I tell stories as a way of occasioning my experience of stories. Ultimately, then, I am not far removed at all from those who want to keep their stories unknown to themselves for as long as possible.

But with one critical difference: I don't personally hold to the paradigm that stories are intrinsically better when we don't know how they are going to go.

Here it is necessary to distinguish between the contents of a story and the experience of a story. What writers usually mean when they say that they lose interest in writing their stories once the stories become known to them is that they want to preserve the experience of their story as though they were an audience for it. And what I am saying is that the contents of a story can be known in advance without ruining the experience of the story. These are not inherently mutually exclusive things. (For an analogy, imagine the world of crafts instead of arts: Knowing how to make a basket, and knowing what your basket is going to look like, does not necessarily detract even one bit from the enjoyment of the process of creating it.) In other words, to lose interest in a story if one knows what the story is, is generally speaking not strictly necessary*...and so to end up in this state over and over again is indicative of some failure mode at work.

It perhaps implies a deeper lack of interest in the story itself. I think many writers (and artists in general) are enthralled to novelty; they're just seeking another hit of the unknown. Many of them deep down don't even enjoy being writers. They just do it to get that hit.

It perhaps implies a deeper lack of interest another layer down, with life itself and one's personal continuity in it. This is a latent existential crisis held at bay (or at least postponed) by essentially keeping the lights turned off in most of one's house so as not to see the monsters.

It perhaps implies a lack of some combination of depth or discipline in the writer. We humans are, after all, antsy and fidgety things, who seek amusement when we are not compelled to toil. There is no shame in this.

It perhaps implies any number of other things; I don't want to derail this essay by trying to write a comprehensive list.

(* Re: "strictly necessary": Okay, there is an important exception here: For those writers for whom their relationship with the act of creating art necessarily entails a negotiation with the unknown, then there is no failure mode at work here and there is no more honest or fulfilling way to go about being a writer. Such writers must simply accept that their artistic muse is problematic and partially self-sabotaging, and work from that basis. However, I strongly suspect that this would prove to be another instance of the "ambidextrous" problem, i.e. that many people who would claim to be this type of artist actually aren't and that the true incidence of it is rare. But who knows? You might be the exception!)

In all cases, I think an exploration of the artistry of story creation is in order as a potential alleviant to the loss of interest that takes hold when a story's contents become known. This invites, among other things, a deep and hard contemplation on what makes stories interesting in the first place and what might be lacking in a story such that knowing it is akin to having already used it—as though there is no real value to be had in the actual experience of its structure and form and style.

(Yes, you might make a distinction here between experiencing a story as a reader versus the work of having to go through the trouble of building it as the author, but that just returns to my point earlier: If you're going to write, you have to be prepared to do some ding-danged work!)

((A very important and surprisingly hidden corollary to the above is that maybe you don't have to write. Maybe it's good enough for you to simply imagine your stories and never burden yourself with the author's labor of constructing them in prose. I do this myself sometimes: As a story-experiencer at heart, some stories I keep just for me, knowing they will never be written down, so that I needn't burden myself with writing them.))

I for one will often reread stories and other written material just because they're damned pleasant to read. There is absolutely a place for rereading stories apart from and in my opinion above any completionist mission of picking up secrets and collectibles that you missed on your first readthrough. One can simply enjoy, purely for its own sake, chewing on a memorable turn of phrase, or thrilling at a good piece of action, or dwelling in a powerful description. These pleasures can be enjoyed apart from the existence of any overarching "story" at all, regardless of whether its secrets are revealed or not.

Likewise, not all cultures and subcultures share our view that stories are fundamentally more enjoyable and engaging when their outcome is unknown. It is entirely possible to begin a story—either as a reader or as its writer—already knowing all the big beats, and even all of the intermediate scene flows. I would even dare say that this would make for a worthy étude to many a writer!

I guess if there are any emerging actionable takeaways from this essay, I would exhort my fellow writers as follows:

Deepen your commitment to the toil and difficulty of the work of writing. It's not so bad! It's honest work, even if our stupid economy does not value it most of the time.

Explore what makes stories interesting to you personally, the artistry of writing as it were and your appreciation of this art form, and separate those qualities out for individual scrutiny, such that you can:

Practice writing stories where you have filled in all the unknowns.

Have an honest look at yourself and see whether your loss of interest in known stories isn't indicative of some deeper malaise.

All easier said than done, I know. If you ever write long-form stuff like novels, you will have to do some of this stuff anyway before you make it to the finish line. So perhaps there's no point in structuring these actionables as exercises when you could simply pursue their goals much more directly by working on and finishing large stories. But if actionable bullet points are helpful, there you go.

I should conclude with the disclaimer that it's not wrong to lose interest in stories once their contents become known to you. I am only saying that if indeed the writing starts to feel more mechanical or laborious, there are many things you can do apart from trying to continue keeping your stories unknown to yourself to alleviate this problem—if it is even something that you experience as a "problem" at all; if not, then great! Count yourself lucky.

And in closing, an even more important disclaimer: I do get it. I really do. To have the freedom of defining the shape and boundaries of a story is a wonderful feeling. Once the boundaries are set the mind inherently perceives the cage they form. I am only saying this: In the moment, at the levels of scenes and paragraphs and sentences and individual words, the cage doesn't really matter. It's too far removed. Our own minds are such a cage. All civilization is such a cage. All the Universe is such a cage! Don't panic. Find the calm. It's okay to be inside a cage, at least for a while if nothing else. And within the cage you enjoy special powers, for restrictions breed creativity, and the boundaries you have defined are even more empowering than they are limiting when it comes to the context that wraps itself around and through your story.

#Storywriting tips and philosophical rants by an unpaid Internet crank who may not know what they're talking about but it's free advice #If I were smart I'd charge $120 an hour for this and demand fresh cookies #Oh well! 🙃 #Story-experiencer

[randomingoftherandomness]

No 27 from the domestic ask game? Maybe for the Mob AU? 👀

27. fixing their hair/clothes just before they rush out the door

Read the AU on AO3

Probably very much not in the vibe for a fic like this, but I was listening to ATEEZ’s Bouncy on repeat while I wrote this 🌶️ dear god they’re so hot 🥵

(I can’t help it but San and Yeosang are just 👌🏼💦)

—

Elder Zue idly drinks his tea while he watches the merriment of the younger folk around them. His own kin are sitting to the side, hoarding the wedding sweets while the rest of their cousins in the same generation are either playing wedding games with the groomsmen or cracking open the bottles of Talisker.

It’s only 2pm but he supposes it’s an appropriate drinking hour somewhere out there in the world.

In all honesty, if someone had told him that he would be here in the capacity of a senior member of the family to attend the wedding of Gong Shangjue himself, a year ago he’d probably cracked a rib laughing.

That nephew of his had always been a little too serious and by the time the rest of his cousins came along, there’d been a gap of age and interests that couldn’t be bridged over a forced interactions at the family dinner.

But in the few times he has seen Shangjue with Yuanzhi, he thinks he can believe that somehow there are things like soulmates in this world.

Shangjue’s father had been an effective and efficient driving force behind the Jue gang, but under Shangjue, the Jue gang has actually expanded to the point where there‘s been talks of going legitimate.

Elder Xue’s old school but he can recognise the merits for that route. You have to keep innovating to keep up with the times, after all. A lifetime of knuckledusters and dropping bodies into the river can only last so long.

At the front door, the bridal party is sufficiently bribed and bargained with to allow Shangjue and his retinue to come through. Elder Xue has to smile at the flushed but pleased look that is on Shangjue’s face when he first lays eyes on his Yuanzhi.

There’s a thread of relief, coloured by pride as he looks him over. Going on one knee, he holds out a bouquet of flowers, both men grinning as Yuanzhi leans in and Shangjue arches up for a kiss that has the whole room erupting in cheers and laughter. Confetti is thrown and someone is shouting that the auspicious time is here.

When Shangjue takes Yuanzhi by the hand, Elder Xue plays witness to the way the world seems to fall to the wayside and the two exist in a bubble of their own.

Shangjue looks years younger as he reaches up to pick the confetti out of Yuanzhi’s hair, attentively fixing the collar of his suit. When he is done, Yuanzhi smiles, mouth shaping around words Elder Xue cannot make out. He moves to smooth a thumb down the line of Shangjue’s jaw, eyes turning liquid warm when Shangjue starts to grin.

They kiss again, slow as if they’re going on their own time.

Someone calls out from the courtyard that they really need to get moving and Elder Xue wants to bash the idiot in for ruining their moment.

“Let’s go!”

Shangjue wraps his arm around Yuanzhi’s slender waist, happiness radiating from their bodies as they step out to the firecrackers and the joyous cheers that send them off.

“Elder, let us make a move too.”

His kin are still hugging the jar of wedding candy when they make for their own car. Silly boys. He’ll make sure they have all the candy they want for their wedding in the future.

#my journey to you fic #shangzhi #juezhi #gong shangjue x gong yuanzhi #my journey to you #gab writes stuff #guhhhhhhh honestly if there’s anything I detest about traditional Chinese weddings it would be the unnecessarily nasty #and rather ridiculous lengths bride games have evolved into #JUST BRIBE ME WITH MONEY AND YOU CAN PASS KTHXBAI #I have already made it clear to my friends that we are NOT doing this for my wedding

[awellreadmannequin]

gah, i gotta finish the epilogues so i can catch up on hs2 but

my god

they are not fun to read.

Which is, I think, a cardinal sin? Like, I devoured hs because it was always interesting or building up to something interesting. And I just do not find any of the ideas presented by the epilogues compelling. The troll reproduction stuff feels ham-fisted and wholly unjustified as written. Dirk is not an interesting character to me at the best of times and at the worst he’s a genuinely terrible person who just not fun to read about. Jane being a fascist is an interesting idea and one that absolutely merits exploration, but is also not adequately justified. Rose feels out of character in ways that just throw me out of things.

But the biggest thing that bothers me is the Ultimate Self stuff. You’ll have to bear with me on this because my problems here are grounded in, like, PhD level philosophy bullshit. The Ultimate Self is introduced towards the end of Homestuck as a meta-narrative answer to the metaphysical question, “what is a self, really?” The answer given by Davepeta(?) is essentially, “a self is the amalgamation of all the people a self could have been and (crucially) has been across narrative and time.” And, like, this answer sucks. It sucks in Homestuck and it sucks even more after becoming the DRIVING PLOT DEVICE of the epilogues. But I think it’s okay for it to suck in Homestuck in ways that it’s not okay in the epilogues. Coming from the mouth of a character who has access to the memories of just about every version of the two people they are composed of, it makes a lot of sense for Davepeta to answer that question that way. Their expanded perception of the meta-narrative in addition to being an amalgam of two distinct individuals with previously distinct senses of self gives them a fundamentally different perspective from any other character (except Jasperose, who we’ll get to). In a sense, they are already prepared for and capable of integrating multiple self-narratives into their own self-narrative. Jasperose is a bit different in that her other half is a cat which lacks a strong sense of self in the first place. Essentially, Rose is the dominant personality there. While she does seem to possess memories of other Roses, this was already the case as Rose is the only living character with memories of a different Rose with a different self-narrative. Which brings us to why the Ultimate Self sucks as an answer to the question of selfhood:

Because that’s demonstrably not what a self is in Homestuck.

Here’s where we really get into the thick of it because now I gotta answer the million boonbuck question for myself.

What is a self, really?

Following on from Françoise Baylis in her paper “The Self in situ,” I want to argue that the self is a dynamically co-authored narrative that defines and is defined by a person’s relationship to themselves, to others, and to the social world. I know, I know, that’s a lot. We’ll break it down, bit by bit.

First: what do I mean by a dynamically co-authored narrative? Following on from Paul Ricoeur, I first mean that the answer to the question “who is this?” is necessarily a story about a life. To answer the question “who am I (Claire),” any answer I give is only meaningful insofar as it is derived from a narrative emplotting action. “I’m a person who loves philosophy,” is a phrase that gains meaning because of the story I tell about the events in my life that and the way that I tell it. I am a person who loves philosophy because as I child I was enchanted by questions about the nature of reality. That is a story about who I am. So that’s the narrative part. The next relevant part is that bit about co-authorship. That I claim that the answer to the question of who I am is “I am a person who loves philosophy,” does not mean that this is how others see me. My identity — the narrative I tell about myself — is not wholly mine to author. I can claim to love philosophy all I want, but if my actions in the social world do not reflect this, others may dismiss this claim and instead tell a different story about me, like, “Claire is a person who is disingenuous in her speech.” If I am a powerful enough person, perhaps the dissonance will be ignored (this is the case with many an intellectual grifter; they claim to believe in free speech whilst advocating for state censorship). However, I am not a powerful person, so it is likely that the story about me that people will believe is that I’m a disingenuous person. My identity here has lost what Baylis calls equilibrium. I am being defined not by how I take myself to be but by how others take myself to be. If this seems disconcerting to you because it means that, say, your gender identity can be effectively denied to you by a structurally transphobic society, congratulations! You’ve figured out why this theory of selfhood is so important: it correctly identifies that refusing someone an identity that accords with their self-narrative can and often does constitute an injustice which produces real, material harm. What it isn’t saying is that you’re not, say, trans if the bigots say you aren’t, but rather that your identity-narrative carries no weight in a structurally prejudiced society because it is not yours alone to author. Right, so that brings us to the dynamic part. In essence, self identity is dynamic because it changes. A person may come out as bi in high school, meet with resistance from a biphobic environment, retreat back into the closet, come out in college, and then be met with acceptance without ever not being the same person. As each of these changes in identity occur, they are written into that person’s self narrative both from their own perspective and the perspective of others. The person who comes out in high school is the same person who comes out in college, but the experience of having their identity denied to them has changed their perception of themselves, their peers, and bi-ness. Their identity is dynamic in that there is a give and take between themselves, the social world, and time as a narrative about who they are is co-authored by themselves and those in relation to them.

Okay, so that’s the first bit, no onto that second bit: relationality.

The notion of co-authorship is actually getting at deeper idea about the nature of the self and one that is rarely acknowledged in a post-Enlightenment intellectual climate: the self cannot exist without the other. This theory of the self has built into the assumption that selves are born already always entangled in a complex web of relationships. These relationships pre-exist any one self and thus play a key role in not only shaping the developing self but also the social world into which the self is born. Familial relationships are typical example of this as they often structure a child’s life and are the first site of learning how to live in relation with others. However, we are shaped by every relationship we exist within. They teach us about the things we need, the things we want, the ways in which we go about life, and the kinds of people we can trust. The relationship is the smallest possible unit of the social world and as such it teaches us how to be ourselves in relation to that world. And living in relation to the social world means learning how to live in relationship with those around us.

Learning to live in relationship with others is, you’ll note, an important theme running throughout Homestuck!

This is why a relational theory of narrative selfhood is so important in understanding why the Ultimate Self fucking sucks as an answer to the question of “what is a self, really?” The theory of selfhood that I’m defending here is highly contextual. It’s grounded in particular times, places, and relations. It lacks metaphysical abstraction because it is a social phenomenon first. We can see this perfectly illustrated in the two Vriskas. While they both share a name and a common history, the divergent paths their lives have taken them make each unrecognizable as Vriska to the other. These are not the same person nor are we expected to see them as such. While retcon Vriska is harsh (cruel, even) to ghost Vriska, it’s not clear that the narrative thinks she’s right to be. She isn’t Vriska qua Vriska because the other Vriska is, as we’ve seen through the narrative, still recognizably a Vriska herself. They are both equally Vriska, but what it means to be Vriska in each case is inextricably bound up in their personal narratives about how they’ve become the Vriskas they are. They cannot recognize each other as Vriska because Vriska means different things to both of them. And we’re not given any indication that one was a more ‘real’ Vriska than the other because they both fulfill the roles they view as necessary to be Vriska. Retcon Vriska disappears from the narrative doing something heroic and important and attention getting. She doesn’t get any emotional resolution with Terezi because being Vriska to her means being a fucking hero and a winner. Ghost Vriska gets a complete emotional arc, reuniting with her Terezi in time to reconcile before the end. That they are both recognizably Vriska doesn’t make them the same. They’ve each developed different strengths and weaknesses in accordance with their choices, their consequences, and the relationships affected or enabled by both. They’ve both wound up in places that we and they see as the natural place for their idea of who Vriska is to be.

Collapsing them into one Ultimate Vriska categorically undoes the power of their juxtaposition as a narrative device.

Likewise, Game Over Rose is compelling because she fucked everything up so badly. The weight of her failures is completely negated if, say, the more emotionally mature Retcon Rose is suddenly made identical with her. Ultimate Rose is a complete paradox and not in an interesting way, but in a stupid way. What the fuck even is a self that contains both consequences of a mutually exclusive binary choice?

How can we even call that a person?

If we circle back to Davepeta and Jasperose, even they concede that there are a Dave, Nepeta, and Rose who they most identify with. The rest are functionally just noise with no real bearing on who these characters now take themselves to be. Indeed, both of them more or less decide that their narratives really start at the moment of their creation with their previous ‘canon’ selves being more akin to, idk, parents? They contextualize the existence of each, but there’s still a detachment which suggests that a new self with more of an understanding than most of the complex web of entanglements that pre-exist a self. An Ultimate Self will necessarily make the same concession as it’s fucking impossible to conceptualize a character who is a logical contradiction. This is why Candy Dirk really kills himself, right? Because it makes no sense for there to be two Dirks who are equally Ultimate Dirk even if that’s what the concept implies. The notion the Ultimate Self is grounded in the same Platonic Idealism that grounds a lot of Homestuck’s metaphysics. However, as a story about persons and selves and identities, the narrative itself depicts selves that are contextual, grounded, and entangled in the ways that a dynamically co-authored narrative theory of self would suggest they might be. The fact of the matter is that you cannot both depict naturalistic selves (which I think Homestuck does!) and also adhere to a Platonic notion of selfhood. These are, in the most boring possible way, contradictory positions. The contradictory nature of these theories of selfhood makes the Ultimate Self just a really fucking boring plot device because all of a sudden, we are being told that characters who have thus far been primarily defined by contextual relationships are in fact, on a higher metaphysical level, actually abstract concepts with no real substrate beyond a name, a colour scheme, and a typing quirk.

Which may be true on a meta-narrative level but it still fucking suuuucks!!!!

Because the meta-narrative is wrapped around a story about people in places and relations that have emotional weight in their specificity. It feels like a disservice to every single character in Homestuck to deny them their self-narratives by deciding that, in truth, the contextual effects that their personal narratives have had on them are subservient to a greater meta-narrative that they have not genuine attachment to and is only accessible by giving up everything they’ve fought for to achieve a cosmic perspective of all the selves they could have been and all the narratives they could have had. Why would anyone want that? Why would you give up a life which has been shaped by your experiences, your relationships, your choices, and the specific contexts in which all of those occur for knowledge of an infinite number of permutations of that same life that you didn’t experience. Unless of course you’re a megalomaniac. Which, like, yeah. I guess that’s what they’re going for. But, then we’re back at my original objections: it’s boring, ham-fisted, and suuuucks. There’s just not enough in the epilogues outside the Ultimate Self stuff to make them interesting and then the Ultimate Self stuff is just sort of presented uncritically as true, even if Dirk is kind of a dick about it.

And that suuuucks!!!!

I want to finish with a big, huge caveat to all of this rambling objection to Ultimate Selfhood:

Anattā

Gesundheit.

Danke.

That was dumb

Anyhow, I think that the only possible way that Ultimate Selfhood can become an interesting plot point is if it turns out that the Ultimate Self is actually the realization of No-self. Anattā is a Buddhist concept that is roughly translated as just that: no-self. It refers to the central tenant of Buddhist doctrine that the self is an illusion that grounds us in the world of desires and suffering. By realizing the truth of no-self — that we are not meaningfully distinct from one another or anything else — we can begin to let go of the desires that produce suffering. Remember when I said that it’s impossible to picture a self that contains within it a logical contradiction? Well, the Ultimate Self becomes an interesting plot point the moment that a character realizes this and thinks, “oh holy shit, there’s no such thing as a self, it’s just a fucking story we tell each other about some stuff that happened. it’s reality is purely our belief in it.” In recognizing that it makes no sense for, say, Vriska to both be attention hungry and determined to matter at any cost AND content to settle down with the woman she loves and fade into nothingness, the logical (to me) next realization is that the entire concept of selfhood lacks any metaphysical substance whatsoever. Ultimate Self becomes No-self at the moment that the contradictions bring about the enlightened realization that selfhood causes suffering. Indeed, No-self in the context of Homestuck is the realization that it is the Narrative that causes suffering not because one doesn’t control it (look how well that went for Lord English) but because narratives by their very nature produce suffering.

Bonus points if, upon reaching this realization, our new made Buddha elects to return to the world of suffering because they empathize with those who have not yet realized the illusory nature of the narrative, thereby becoming a Bodhisattva.

(This is absolutely something that it is in character for Kanaya or Roxy to do, tbh. It would be much more interesting to see Rose or Dirk have this realization, though.)

And, like, I’ve couched this in Buddhist terminology because I’m familiar(ish) with it. However, this isn’t exactly out of line for Homestuck thematically. Recognizing and accepting that narration will always produce suffering (again, using that word in a specific technical sense that doesn’t always mean harm or pain; remember, like, desire is suffering here, so slice of life and fluff are not exempt) is the logical next step beyond attempting to become the narrator. The Meat/Candy distinction collapses in the face of this realization. Both produce suffering in different ways and neither is preferable to the other because of it. It’s also thematically resonant with the notion of ‘post-canon.’ The suffering of the epilogues is made inevitable by their very existence as narrative thrives on conflict. When Rose tells John that the consequence of not going back into canon is that they will fade from relevance, she’s ostensibly setting up this exact idea. However, the less relevant timeline is the one with the most suffering because it has the most ‘conventional’ narrative going on despite being ‘post-canonical.’ The best possible resolution is thus already set up: for there to simply be no more narrative. Short of that, the most practical outcome is the recognition and acceptance of narrative, self or otherwise, as a vehicle to produce suffering. Like, a self-aware narrator-level character basically saying, “Look, I know what you want, I know that I can’t stop it without denying you what you want, and I know that what you want will hurt me and everyone I love. And I’m going to let you have what you want, but you have to recognize that what you want is our suffering.”

But, again, even if this does wind up being the pay off, it’s still kinda going to suck because, like, why the fuck did I have to wade through Dave going on about Obama so much to get here? What’s the fucking deal with Rose being so shitty all of a sudden? I mean, thanks for finally killing Gamzee, but it still sucks that you made Vriska kiss him.

Bluh.

This is… a lot, huh?

Sorry.

I promise, this will all be much more interesting as the thematic underpinnings of the fics I’m writing.

#claire thoughts #hs epilogues #u can tell that this is more rant than serious essay because there’s no formal citations #so don’t take this too seriously unless you agree with me #maybe I’ll eventually write something more uh serious about the ultimate self and no-self #but this was kind of a spur of the moment thing.