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#that doesn't mean she isn't ready to
thedreadvampy · 5 months
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The thing is I am definitely not happy or chill in the Immediate Sense lately but I am, big picture, so fucking happy with the person I am.
It's like. My brain was made by and for consistent trauma and since that trauma stopped about 5-7 years ago, it is incredible what the amount of resilience and cleverness and flexibility and thoughtfulness I developed to survive can do when it's not being all spent on surviving. like I had a hundred ton weight on me so I had to get REALLY STRONG to stay in the same place and not get 100% crushed, and when that weight came off I found I can use the strength it used to take to stand up and I can leap tall buildings in a single bound.
I was talking to my mum the other day and she said, "you've got the 'fuck it' energy at 30 that most women don't find until their fifties at least" and I'm like yeah man. Imagine how unstoppable I'll be in 20 years.
#red said#i don't know that i can express this clearly but it's the most encouraging thing in my life#my mum's always been proud of me but just lately she seems to actually really admire me#like she's genuinely impressed. she thinks I've surpassed her. i don't necessarily agree but it's a really nice quiet joy.#anyway like this sounds super up myself and it kind of is.#but also it's part of realising just how heavy the weight I've been carrying around with me for 25 years was#like not to be ridiculous but i have realised again this week. that it isn't that everyone's been raped that much and doesn't talk about it#i just have been raped an Unusually Consistent Amount. i have spoken to a lot of people who have had much more horrifying things happen.#I'm not sure I've talked to more than a couple of people who've had a similar level of total consistency of abuse from all angles#and the one is not heavier or harder to bear that the other. but. i think i spent most of my life listening to people's awful experiences#and going ok well nothing i went through looked that bad so it's microtrauma#obviously microtraumas build up but still.#then the older i get and the more i have these conversations the more I notice that stuff which to me is a microtrauma#is a lot of people's defining trauma. and they're reacting appropriately which means i am SO SEVERELY UNDERREACTING#told my friend the other day about a time someone who i still like and respect was having sex with me when i paralocated my hip#and then just kept getting really annoyed with me for not being ready to have sex again while i was literally crying with pain#until i caved and just tried to find the last painful position#and my friend was like pal what the fuck that's horrific#and i was like i mean no that's normal I've had sex with like maybe 3 or 4 people in my life who i haven't had similar stuff with#like i am genuinely thrown when i am allowed to say no to sex and have it be the end of the conversation. and not end up having sex#out of guilt or out of physical coercion or through physical rape. and i have had sex with probably like 40 people at this stage?#and I'm not sure it's as many as 4 i haven't had that experience with tbh#so like. I'm slowly coming to terms with the idea#that i may have actually been doing a hell of a lot of heavy lifting.#like i developed a sense of self that can survive being constantly crushed and at this stage is fucking diamond.
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bklynmusicnerd · 7 months
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If Jag really wants to confront Cirie on her lies, then Cirie needs to lay out that she supported Matt in using the power to save Jag. Cirie tied so much of her game to Jared, and as a result, Cory has really successfully spun a lot of Jared's sins onto Cirie as well.
Jag now views her as the sole chaos agent/villain in the house. Somehow, the power situation has been solely reduced to her (stupidly) telling Jared and not that she was on the side of Jag being saved.
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franeridan · 1 month
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I understand why everyone who read dunmeshi instantly shipped marci and falin but tbh the fact that it's just treated as canon by the fandom cuts on a lot of interesting analysis that could be done on their relationship outside of the romantic reading, which is kind of a shame
#when i read through i spent a lot of time trying to understand if marci saw her as an equal or as a younger friend she had to take care of#this started from her comment about how 29yo is “a child” and falin is younger than that#and then the scene in the bathroom which is very loved by the shippers#it felt a lot like falin understood the implications and marci didn't yk#i read that and it just felt like they were failing to communicate bc marci just couldn't see falins body as something she should be#embarrassed about#very mom with a child behaviour#same in the bed falin mentioned growing up and marci said it was just the same#doesn't it imply she still sees her as a kid?#there's that time in the backstory of when she first met laios and how she treats falin like a kid who can't make her own choices too#like she tells laios off for taking her away and then tells her she'll take her back to the academy like falin isn't#perfectly able to choose for herself#extremely “mom knows best” of her??#there's a lot of moments like that#then there's also everything that could be said about falin being marcis first friend and what it means for her to die#like...if you just call it romance it goes to undermine a bigger issue in marci's character imo?#like marci went to those lengths just cause she's in love with her but i think the point is that this was yet another person she lost before#she was ready to let her go? her character arc culminates in her accepting that falin might just be dead after all#and even with the possibility of falin being reborn she was ready to be taken away by the elves and never see her again#this is incredible growth for her but it only makes sense if falin was just one of many friends this could have happened with#and not the love of her life? I'd assume she would want to spend the rest of falins life with her if that was the case#whether or not she got over her fear of everyone dying before her#it's a thought! i think it's interesting to think about!#it's fun to ship them so I'm not saying we shouldn't or whatever but not treating it as canon now and again would open#to so many possibilities#for example I can't get out of my brain the scenario in which falin is in love with her and marci just can't see it until it's too late#kind of like himmel and frieren? think of the angst!! all lost because we just assume they're canon......tragic
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My family members all say I'm smart, they've been saying it as long as I can remember, but I've come to the realization that it's only because when I agree with them I use the right words and make points really well, sometimes better than they can. The second I disagree? Even slightly? I'm wrong. No, they don't need to consider a different viewpoint, no, it can't be that they're 90% right and 10% wrong. Nope. I'm so smart according to them but not so much that I might have the right of it. No, it doesn't matter what sources I have, what words I use, how calm I am, personal experience, history with it as a particular interest, nothing. And it's both sides of my family too. Very different backgrounds educationally, economically, etc. but that seems to be true across the board.
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cathymee · 6 months
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aaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh
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i'm thinking about how bbc's merlin is tragedy again spoilers ahead
i mean the whole thing they set up since the beginning of the show was that merlin would bring magic back to camelot and rule beside arthur, that he was the protector and savior of magic
and then the last episode none of that has happened!!!!
merlin is a kids show that tried to be a "friendship saves all" kind of show but the writers kept painting themselves into a corner time and time again so when it came time to end they had no way to make it the show it said it would be
almost everyone merlin loves dies, magic never gets brought back to camelot, arthur never leads beside merlin and units albion, merlin has killed and fought some of the people he was supposed to protect and guide, arthur fucking dies
nothing merlin set out to do happens over the course of the show by the end
its a god damn tragedy
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homoquartz · 3 months
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this post is not gonna be well put together but i am having feelings
mean girls is trending right now because the musical movie just came out and i feel insane. idk why i do, it was stupid of me to think that most people Got It, no one ever gets it, it was always about the memes and the aesthetic.
the first mean girls movie was based on a nonfiction book called queen bees and wannabes. it interviewed and discussed the social hierarchy system in teen girl friendships. how they hold each other to these insane standards of heternormative femininity out of sheer terror that they won't meet those standards themselves. the way they leverage their relationships for some small degree of power in a world designed to strip them of it, even if it drags other girls down.
the "you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week and on wednesdays we wear pink" speech was not an original creation for the script. it's a QUOTE from a real teenage girl. those were REAL RULES.
then the musical came, and it was one step removed from the intended messaging of the film. OG mean girls was not perfect (and was extremely racist), but it said what needed said. the musical leaned on the comedy more, but still left a heartfelt undertone, and still critiqued the systems in place. of course no piece of media is going to be perfect, but it was about the conversation.
then this new movie comes out and it is washed over in the veneer of white hollywood feminism so thick you can't see anymore. the problematic aspects of the original movie are taken out to avoid "offending" when the offense was the point. it becomes toothless, it becomes some other thing entirely. they changed karen's line "i expect to run the world in shoes i cannot walk in" to "watch me as i run the world in shoes i cannot walk in." because choice feminism is in vogue, suddenly this character whose entire point is that she doesn't think deeply about WHY she does anything is suddenly hip to the fact that the world is against her.
i think of sokka losing his misogyny arc in the new atla. i think of the Heathers remake casting the bitchy, identical heathers as queer and hollywood-fat outcasts. as if the story, the meaning, the allegory is hidden in the sets and the jokes and the music. it's a whole new thing now, and it's a thing that means nothing in particular.
the plastics should not wear jeans. they should not have curves. their queerness should be suppressed, painful. their sexuality is not a slay, it's the only thing they think they have of value. the santa dance isn't sexy, it's shocking, it's mortifying - they are children.
they're not mean because "we are all mean." they are mean because they are girls in a world that brutalizes them and crushes them into a standardized shape. they are mean because the world is mean to them. they are mean because it gives them some power back. they are mean because it's the only weapon they have.
the landscape of femininity today has shifted to camera-ready makeup at the age of 10, stringent performative hygiene standards, and avoiding being caught on film while having a genuine emotion. the consumerism, the fatphobia, the racism, the classism, the homophobia remain. We could have had a conversation about that.
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inkskinned · 6 months
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it's just that there's a few more steps you have to take that other people don't have to take, but they don't see the steps, so they think you should be able to hop from moment to moment, a chickadee.
it isn't getting out of bed. it is the weight, the hook in your chest, the anchor. you have to move the anchor first. you have to silence your alarm, but your phone is in your hand, which means now you have to put the phone down, which is too-hard. you get stuck in there for a while, the white screen, mindlessly scrolling. you don't even like this activity, have tried a few other options but - here you are, and time is passing.
you've googled iron deficiency causes depression and if i drink enough water does it help with mental illness and anxiety but no caffiene within the last two weeks, like how you googled am i gay quiz at 17.
it isn't just calling the doctor back, it's the anxiety, it's these little moths in your lung cavities, furious and fluttering. you need to figure out how to capture your fingers from between their nervous bodies. you are an adult, you can say the words yes hi, i'm calling because i need - but you need to practice first. maybe write it down because what if you misspeak, wouldn't that be embarrassing. write it down, but you need to find a pen first. well, actually, your desk is kind of messy. you should get a new pen. you should get a new organizational system. you should try journaling.
your grades in school were always strange. the way teachers would say things like it feels like you're not trying. you could touch stars in the stuff you cared about. well, sometimes. god be willing. homework average zero. oops! your english teacher's wrinkled brow: i know you know this stuff. what the fuck are you doing?
it isn't the showering, it's the mirror before the shower and the soft horrible pull of your naked physique. you have to avoid eye contact completely or else it'll be 93 minutes later and you'll have picked at your skin until every little pore is bleeding. you have to stand up but standing is tiring and also you should have remembered to buy more soap but you never remember anything. maybe get out of the shower and while it's still running and you're still dripping wet, use your phone to take a note. make a note to get your groceries. let the shower run while you stand half-in half-out and get lost in your phone for a moment. come back out when the water runs cold and now you have to sprint to get ready.
your grandmother's frown. you're just being lazy. protestant work ethics in a house that isn't even protestant. she says she just learned different but she means learned better, doesn't she.
it's not that you can't send the email, it's that your hands have been hurting lately and the desk really is messy and also why the fuck would you even care about this thing? doesn't everyone else feel like they're drowning? hi brendon thanks so much for sending! will review and get back to you shortly. but now you're on the internet, close the tab with tumblr on it. go on, close it. feel the little soft vapor of boredom come up and over your eyeteeth and make everything overwhelming and itchy.
literally all you have to do is put on shoes to go outside. you're literally already dressed, that's the hard part of this whole thing. literally just put the shoes on. just... do it! do it! this shit is easy!
it's literally that easy. just stop taking all those stupid invisible steps. stop following your strange made-up rules. times like this, even you're positive you're faking. you just don't want to bother with the cleaning and the cooking and the being-an-adult.
but then - shouldn't you be able to put these stupid shoes on? nobody's even looking. go on kid. life is out there! just take the leap!
get moving.
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Is It All Over? - LN
Summary: Lando's girlfriend seems to disappear from any appearances with him and fans are growing concerned it might all be over. Which doesn't matter to Lando, till he feels like she's missed
Mildly shy!reader (bc I miss writing the shy series sometimes - this isn't the shy series, I'm just saying I liked writing it) also for the girls who are emotionally attached to a childhood comfort blanket (the one in this fic isn't just a couple strings of fabric tho)
No part 2 requests please
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Being back in Monaco, Lando has been keeping himself busy going out with Max and P and having his sister and her boyfriend there to visit.
Y/n on the other hand, she's been...absent. In fact even he has to admit he doesn't exactly remember when he last saw her, he's been texting her all day between his own plans. But where the hell she's been and what she's been doing he wishes he could say.
"Alright, home time." Max declares actually being the dad of the group and responsible enough to know when to call it a night. But even on their way out he makes a comment which does sort of make Lando have to hide a wince. "Did y/n not come to join us? P thought y/n had mentioned joining us for dinner."
"Uhh...she didn't say anything to me." Lando shrugs then smiling as they all head back.
Lando stayed away from the alcohol so he could actually drive back and Max seemed to follow suit to drive the other car.
"Things are good between you and y/n, aren't they?" Max questions earning a frown. "I mean just...there's a lot of stuff online about her seeming to never be around-and I know not to listen. But it's not like her to miss out on something like this."
"Honestly mate...I don't even know." Lando admits hating that he's even saying it. Who wants to admit they don't even know if their relationship is on the rocks? Even worse, who wants to admit fans that know nothing about the relationship are right about it being on the rocks?
They all drive back, parking their cars in the garage which is seemingly packed with Lando's car collection.
The couples seem to get themselves to the spare guest rooms and start to wind down leaving Lando to search for his girlfriend. Finding her curled up in bed wrapped the blanket that you'd be lucky to pry from her hands if you catch her in the wrong mood.
"Hey, baby." Lando greets casually leaning over the bed to give her a kiss which she returns promptly.
"Hey."
"Did you not feel up to joining us?" Lando asks trying not to sound annoyed or upset. "Max was asking after you."
Y/n remains quiet while Lando busies himself in getting dressed and changing for bed.
"Baby?"
"I just felt...like staying in." Y/n murmurs then sighing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to let anyone down. It's just-I felt like there was so many people and when we were getting ready this morning and everyone was coming in and talking to me about how many people would be there and how many people we'd be meeting up with, I kind of got freaked out."
Cue Lando grimacing inwardly and being hit with a reason to dislike himself.
He's been busy. Very busy and with him not wanting y/n to travel with him too much because of her lack of ability to really adapt well at all to the time zone changes.
But none of that excuses that fact that he's just overlooked and ignored one of the key characteristics that makes y/n the person she is.
She's shy.
Big groups and a lots of people might feel like a nice or normal situation for most people but for y/n it's just a nightmare. Her idea of perfect is just spending the night with Lando and it's not because she doesn't like other people or because she's a bitch. She's just shy and that situation pushes her further into being quiet and withdrawn the whole time.
"Shit." Lando mutters as he's finally dressed then climbing onto the bed and pulling y/n into a hug and kissing all around her face which does earn a small smile and laugh from his girlfriend. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."
"Sorry for what?"
"Because I was mad...but it's not fair that I was mad." Lando sighs making her frown. "You've never liked nights out and you don't like big groups. I don't even know why I expected you to come."
"Lando...it's normal for a girlfriend to go out with you and your friends." Y/n mumbles then smiling sadly. "I'm sorry though."
"No. You don't need to be sorry...it's my fault. Max asked and with all the comments and theories from fans recently because you haven't been at races...It's just got in my head." Lando groans then feeling the young woman move to hug him tightly. "I love you."
"Lando...stop beating yourself up...please." Y/n mumbles making him smile lightly at her. "You're cute but you really don't need to be so concerned...even if your fans are getting in your head."
Lando hums with a grunt before lying back and pulling her with him to lie down.
"How did you spend your night then?" Lando asks making her smile.
"I made spaghetti carbonara from scratch. I painted my toe nails." Y/n smiles showing her toes which are painted a glossy white.
"Very pretty." Lando smiles since y/n had been trying to improve her skill on doing her own nails. Usually with little success on her hands but her toes always go well. "How was the carbonara?"
"So so good. I loved it." Y/n nods then rolling to lie on her tummy.
"Good. I'm glad you had a good night."
"Since we are kind of having a serious talk though." Y/n mumbles shifting ever so slightly closer. "I do sort of want to come to the next race-I know I'll be a mopey, grumpy, tired bitch. But I want to be there for you and I'm sick of fans dog-piling on me in comments and tags about why I'm not there and if we've broken up."
"I want you at every race baby. You don't need permission. You just come with me whenever you want, ok?" Lando smiles then pulling her towards her for a kiss. "I just don't want you to feel forced into being there with me if you don't feel up to it. But I'll always want you there. No matter what."
"Ok, well I want to be there for the next race. Really badly." Y/n murmurs earning a grin.
"Good and you can be as antisocial as you want. No enforced socialising."
-
Lando was pretty excited to slap those rumours and assumptions about his relationship away and while he promised no socialising if she didn't feel up to it.
That didn't mean he wouldn't be showing her off, making it clear with every kiss, hug and possibly cheeky gesture whenever possible throughout the weekend.
"Lando! You have got to behave. There are cameras." Y/n gasps in a quiet voice when Lando comes up to her managing to steal a kiss and shamelessly hold her ass with both hands to pull her forward against himself.
"I love you." Lando shrugs making it obvious he's got no intention of easing up on the PDA even if she looks like she wants to jab him in the throat for the constant attention being drawn to her because of his ravishing over her. "I'm just glad we've shut fans up. I was getting sick of them asking if I'd really fumbled someone as good as you."
"They should give you more credit. You're super smart." Y/n smiles while reaching up to shift a stray curl. "Even if it's me hitting about my weight."
"Don't even." Lando tsks then lifting her and doing what he always does when he wants to carry her around which is refuse to place her down till she just complies so it's no surprise when she lifts her legs and locks them up around his waist. "You're sticking with me for a bit."
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thefandomthings · 29 days
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5 fluff zuko
𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬
Fluff prompt #5: "I have to go but-one more kiss."
Pairing: Zuko x f!reader
Warnings: Fluff, kissing, slight angst, Zuko being Zuko. ¡¡SPOILERS!!
Notes: Bluntest request I have ever gotten (It's from my sister 😶). Takes place in Book 3. Ep 14. @shellbell4
Prompt event
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To say you aren't happy that Zuko and Katara decided to go on a 'Revenge mission', is an understatement. You aren't close with Katara, never have been. On two different ends of the spectrum. You both maintain a respectable relationship between each other, BUT that doesn't mean you like one another.
Zuko is completely aware of this. Having this conversation with him multiple times about how she looks at him, or what happened under Bai Sing Sei. But as you know, he isn't to great at reading people and how they are feeling. And it doesn't help that he is the one who suggested it, stings like alcohol on a open wound.
You are currently sitting against one of the dock posts, watching as Katara and Zuko get Appa ready to fly. The nasty look on your face is extremely noticable, Sokka and Aang are both looking at each then between the three of you.
Zuko finishes strapping a few things on Appas saddle and slides down the fluffy sky bison. He might not be the best at reading social cues but he can tell just by the way your eyes burn into his soul, you are pissed and hurt.
He cautiously approaches you and slides down the post next to you, his left arm resting on his knee, his right hand playing with the grass and dirt; picking and prodding.
You don't look at him, your eyebrows are furrowed in anger, you mouth set in scowl. Zuko carefully puts his arm around your shoulders. You don't push him away, but you don't lean into him like you usually do.
"Did you really have to suggest going with her?" You finally spoke, turning your head to look at him. Zuko has a frown on his face as he looks back at you, honey eyes soft and determined.
"She needs closure, Y/n. And Sokka and Aang won't go with her, so I have to." His right hand slides into your own, squeezing it softly. You know he is right, after all he's been through he just wants to make peace with the Gaang, especially Katara.
You sigh finally leaning into his side, your head resting on his shoulder. Zukos' pale cheeks burn pink, his arm squeezing you closer. He leans down and kisses you softly, his dry lips molding with yours before he pulls away.
"Zuko, let's go." Katara hollers from her spot on Appas neck/head. Zuko sighs and stands up, looking down at you with a soft smile.
"We'll be back soon, okay?" He ruffles your hair gently and starts to walk away. You smile slightly, already missing him even if he isn't gone yet.
Zuko then pauses a few feet away and you watch him curiously. He turns on his heel and speed walks back to you. Zuko leans down holding your chin with his forefinger and thumb.
"I have to go but-one more kiss." He presses his lips to yours longer, taking the breath from your lungs. "For good luck."
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olichat-reads · 1 year
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fuck i wanna write a bakugou x reader fic based on this song
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queerfables · 8 months
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I wanted this post to be more coherent but I am coming apart at the seams. Listen. Listen to me. Listen look no look me in the eyes and listen LISTEN.
Crowley and Aziraphale know. They're in love, and they know. Their love is requited, and they know. That's why it hurts so much! They don't say it. They can't say it. The consequences for both of them could be disastrous. But they know, they know, they know.
This is forbidden love at it's absolute pinnacle. This is centuries of dancing around an unsayable, inescapable truth. Loving someone this way is intense. It's a fiercely romantic headrush, because everything is high stakes fantasy and it's you and your beloved against the world. It's a soul crushing nightmare because the thing you want more than anything is always there, just out of reach. It's passion and yearning and stolen touches and desperately hoping the other person understands all the things you can't say.
It's also just unbelievably stupid. You have a sizzling moment of intimacy with someone and then three days later you're trying to act like business associates.
This dynamic has been present since season one, and sometimes the atmosphere between Crowley and Aziraphale becomes urgent and surreal enough that they almost name it. There's the bandstand, where Crowley suggests they could run away together. There's Aziraphale in 1967 saying, maybe one day we'll dine at the Ritz. These aren't the words of those unsure of another's feelings. These are declarations made in the clearest terms they dare.
The clincher for me is Aziraphale's face when Shax says she wouldn't have thought he was Crowley's type. It's a nasty comment meant to play on Aziraphale's insecurities: "If you're anything to him, it must be something sordid, and I'm surprised you can even offer him that." And she completely misses the mark! Aziraphale disregards her words without a thought. That eyebrow says he knows exactly how Crowley feels about him, and Shax's insinuation is laughable. He is uniquely Crowley's type.
It's less definitive for Crowley, and it makes sense that it would be. For the most part, Crowley is the accelerator and Aziraphale is the brakes. It is hard to hold faith that someone wants you when all they can tell you is "slow down". That doesn't mean he's unsure of Aziraphale's feelings. It means that he's unsure how much he's allowed to say. Aziraphale wants him to push right up until he doesn't, and it hurts them both when they go too far and have to walk it back. Even so, Crowley's confession makes it pretty clear that they're both in on this unspoken thing between them:
"you and me ... group of the two of us ... and we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't"
And then he kisses Aziraphale. And he doesn't do it carefully or tentatively. He doesn't wait for Aziraphale to be ready. Because that's how this dance goes, isn't it? Aziraphale wants him to push, and it's going to hurt and they're going to have to walk it back but fuck it all because Crowley is going to give them the thing they've spent their existence pretending they didn't want.
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eternalxvenus · 1 month
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⇢ ˗ˏˋ broken promises pt. 1 ࿐ྂ
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summary: Rafe promised to take you out and spend your birthday with you, but you don’t hear from him all day and then suddenly he shows up at your door trying to explain. (angst version to my first birthday girl blurb) (title changed for series — previous title “birthday girl angst version”)
cw (for whole series): 18+, rafe x f!reader, mentions of drug use, angst, eventual smut, violence
wc: 0.6k
notes: honestly i’m thinking about making this particular blurb a series but i’m not sure though
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You woke up on your birthday excited to get your day started. Your boyfriend Rafe told you the day before he would pick you up for brunch, and then you would spend the day doing whatever you wanted.
By the time you showered and were ready to go, your stomach was growling, prepared to have some delicious food. You checked your phone and saw the time read 10:45. Rafe said that he'd be here by 11:00.
30 minutes later, you hadn't heard anything from Rafe, so you decided to call him. Each of your calls went straight to voicemail. You were starting to get worried, so you decided to check social media and see if he may have posted anything. You clicked on Kelce's close friend's story and saw a party happening at his house. A few videos later, you saw one of Rafe doing coke off the table in front of him.
Your eyes start to water. He had promised you that he would stop doing drugs when you guys started dating. You knew it made him irritable and hard to be around. It also made him forgetful, which means he was probably high out of his mind somewhere and probably doesn't remember he promised to take you to brunch. Or the fact that it's your birthday.
You wipe the few stray tears off your cheek, careful not to ruin your makeup, before calling Sarah, inviting her and the pogues to have breakfast with you at your place. When you asked her about Rafe, she said she hadn't spoken to him and didn't know where he was.
-
The time was currently 10:22 pm, and you had just gotten home from your birthday dinner with your family. Rafe was supposed to be there too, but you had to lie and say he hadn't been feeling well. You could barely enjoy yourself. You still hadn't gotten so much as a text from him.
You slipped off your heels, but before you could make it up the stairs there was a ring at your doorbell. You opened the door to see Rafe standing there with flowers in hand.
"What do you want, Rafe?" You really didn't want to sit around and listen to his excuses.
"Baby, I'm sorry, really. Just please let me explain."
You scoffed but leaned against your doorframe, prompting him to keep going.
"Okay, so Kelce was throwing this party, and I wasn't going to go, but everyone kept messaging me saying I should at least swing by and everything since they hadn't seen me in a while. I went and it was supposed to be no more than 15 minutes, but things got out of hand..."
"Yeah Rafe, things got out of hand as in you stayed at the party and started doing fucking coke? Out of hand as in you got so high you didn't text me all day, on my birthday, while I'm worried sick about you?"
Rafe's eyes widened, obviously not expecting you to know about that. He outstretched his hand that was holding the flowers to you. "Baby I... I'm sorry. I can take you shopping to make up for-"
You smacked the flowers out of his hand and he flinched. Your voice was shaky as tears pooled in your eyes. "No Rafe! Money isn't going to fix this. Obviously, I'm not important enough for you to keep your promise. Getting high means more to you than being there for your girlfriend."
Before he could speak again, you slammed the door in his face and made your way upstairs even as he started to talk to you through the door before moving on to blowing up your phone. You blocked his number and went to bed, unsure of what was next for your relationship.
part 2
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cartierre · 2 months
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AGORA HILLS | ln4
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SOCIAL MEDIA!AU lando norris x fem!russell!reader
side note: i'm depressed and the f1 season is starting soon again so here we go. side note pt2: this is kinda short and the ending feels rushed but oh well
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y/n_russell permanent shenanigans
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user1 oh that's not-
user2 oh she didn't- yes she did
user3 y/n getting a lando norris tramp stamp was not on my 2023 bingo card ⤷ user4 i don't think it was ever on anyone's bingo card
landonorris mine ⤷ y/n_russell yours 🤞
user5 i can't decide if it's cringe or a major slay
georgerussell63 i don't know if i should strangle you or norris ⤷ y/n_russell maybe neither of us?
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y/n_russell pizza boy always knows how to capture my heart
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user6 lando and y/n being in their hot couple era was not on my 2024 bingo card ⤷ user7 no couple does it like y/n and lando
user8 i'm a bit concerned about their recent behaviour, ngl
landonorris i'm a professional pizza boy off season ⤷ y/n_russell earning some extra money to spoil your girl? ⤷ user9 so you admit you use lando for his money? ⤷ y/n_russell sorry your partner apparently doesn't know how to treat you. i'd be bitter as well if i were you
user10 y/n being totally unhinged is my favourite type of media ⤷ user11 george being the emotionally older sibling and y/n being the unbothered younger sibling makes so much sense
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y/n_russell to clear some things up: obviously george isn't always happy with how lando and i present our relationship (online or not) but that doesn't mean he hates lando?! i'm his little sister, it's natural he doesn't always enjoy what lando and i do. nonetheless, lando and george have been friends for ages! this was literally them on our shared holiday in '23! carmen and i were third-wheeling the whole time lol. george can sometimes be a little cold but that's just how he processes things, it doesn't mean he's not supportive of my relationship with lando. please respect that.
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y/n_russell accurate representation of how i felt after watching george and lando's "drama" on drive to survive. now i understand why y'all blew this whole situation up.
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user12 now she knows how we all felt watching that episode
user13 me when i watch dts in general
user14 me when i hear the dutch national anthem yet again
user15 me when i think of charles not winning wdc because ferrari literally sucks
landonorris me when i realise y/n won't attend every race ⤷ y/n_russell um excuse me i'm a working gyal
user16 me when life
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y/n_russell maybe i should become lando's and george's pr manager when it means getting flowers from their teams
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user17 no cuz that is so cute that they sent her flowers cuz she solved the whole lando-george drama
user18 that's why they both are my favourite teams
mclaren the contract is ready to be signed! ⤷ mercedesamgf1 not if she choses us first! after all, blood is thicker than water
user19 not mclaren and mercedes fighting over y/n
user20 i wonder which flowers are from who
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hazenllas · 2 months
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Mommy's Girl
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pairing: Regina George x fem!reader
Contains: smut, Eating out (r! Receiving) Dom! Regina, Regina being mean but it's like hot, fluff, Jealous Regina, I think that's all!
Apologies for any spelling mistakes, English isn't my first language.
Summery: nobody knows you and Regina are in a relationship. But when Regina sees someone trying to hit on you, she shows everyone who you belong to.
"Fuck baby, I missed you so much." Regina mumbles against your soft lips. "Mhm, I missed you more." You kiss Regina's lips hungrily. She grabs at your hips and you grind yourself against her. She puts her hands up your black oversized hoodie. You moan at the cold sensation of her fingertips against your breasts. Your head thuds against the wooden door feeling Regina's manicured hands massage your tits in a messy rhythm. You grab her face and kiss her with passionate and lust. "Hey we will pick this up later m'kay? If not I won't be able to keep my hands off of you." Regina kisses your neck and you thank the dim light of the janitor's closet because your face reddened with a soft pink tint. You nod with a bright smile and tumble out of the small room and readjust your sweater Regina had been messing with just earlier. At lunch you go to your usual spot where Janis and Damian were sitting. You sat down and vegan eating your salad. You look over at Regina's table to see her already staring at you with a smirk. She winks and turns back to her friends sitting with her. "So what's with you and Regina, Y/n" Janis asks playing with her fries. "W-what? What do you mean?" You shoot up at the girl infront of you with widened eyes. "I mean you're both always looking at eachother like you want to fuck eachother's brains off in a good way" You look at her and take a deep breath. "Listen you guys. I've been keeping this a secret for the longest time but, me and Regina are like together. We've been together for a few months but she doesn't feel ready to announce it publicly yet." You say holding your hands in a fingers crossed motion. "No way girl! How come you never told us?" Damian looks at you with the widest eyes you've ever seen. "I dunno, I guess I didn't want to risk anything." You shrug and continue to eat your salad. After school you quickly head to Regina's house. You knock on the door and find Regina on the other side. "Come on in baby, my parents aren't home yet." You nod and you both run towards her room like little girls. Once you both get in there Regina slams you against the door and you gasp in surprise. "Missed me that bad huh?" You jokingly say as Regina starts to leave bitemarks on your neck. "Oh shut up loser." Regina laughs and takes your baggy clothing off. She throws you on the bed and towers over you. "Fuck I miss this body baby." Regina kisses your body as she goes lower and lower to where you want her the most. "Please mommy." You groan and Regina smirks at you. She starts to kiss at your plush tight and looks up at you fit consent. You quickly nod and Regina wastes no time to lick a long strip through your pussy. Your body arches back and you hear Regina chuckle darkly. She continues to eat you out until you start to feel that familiar knot in your stomach. "Fuck mommy, I'm gonna cum" You manage to squeal out. "Fucking cum for me baby." As soon as Regina says these words you completely snap and ride out your high. Regina cleans you up and lays beside you. Regina gets a phone call and she quickly picks it up. You look up at Regina and then after she's talking on the phone she looks down at you. "I'm sorry baby, Gretchen, Karen, and Cady want to hang out this afternoon. I'm sorry." You quickly get your cloths on and look at her with a smile. "It's okay Gina,I have a ton of stuff to study tonight anyways." Regina nods and gives you a kiss on the cheek.
After getting home you decide to call one of your friends Bea to study with. To your surprise, she is throwing a party and asked you to come. You agreed and began getting ready. Once you got there you saw many drunk teens scattering the place. You settle in the kitchen and stare at your sprite. That is until a random girl who you don't know walks up to you. "Hey sweetheart, you with anyone?" You look up at her and shake your head. "Uh no actually. I was just invited here." You stand there awkwardly. You could tell she was drunk. She looked at you with hungry eyes and leans in to kiss you. Until she is shoved away by Regina. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Regina stands over the girl with fire in her eyes. "Shit uh Regina! This is uh this is my girlfriend!" You look at the girl who's on the ground with wide eyes. "Oh really? Let's see about that." Regina smirks and pulls you into a heavy kiss. You moan as you feel Regina put her hands over the space just above your ass. The girl on the ground looks at you both with scared eyes and runs off. Regina pulls away and laughs. You can't help but laugh with her. "Her fault, she should've known who you belong to." Regina pulls you in for one more kiss until she leads you into an empty bedroom.
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lovers-rck · 3 months
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modern au where you accidentally send ellie, your bestfriend, a nude PT3
pt1 here , pt2 here pt4 here
n/a finally.
ellie was lying on her bed. her eyes were closed, her mouth was mumbling the words of the song softly, not wanting to take the spotlight away from the voice that sounded through the record player.
outside, the sun was shining at its brightest, burning the people who dared to walk under its reign.
"uhg i love that song" ellie murmurs as the song ends.
"it's good" you agree. a bead of perspiration ran down the valley of your breasts "it's too hot in here. can you open the window?"
ellie nods and once it's done she throws herself back on the bed hard, bouncing you up and down. she giggles dumbly.
"you can put on your bikini if you want, you left it here the last time we went swimming"
"so that's why i couldn't find it" you can see how ellie smiles slightly "where is it?"
"second drawer on the right"
"got it."
you find your bikini folded neatly in the drawer next to her t-shirts. the bathroom feels a thousand times hotter than the whole house, so you hurry to put on your bikini top and go back out to ellie's room. she's still in the same position, singing songs from an album you don't know.
"we should go swimming again" you say as you walk in, your bare feet against the floor "it was fun"
ellie partially stands up with the help of her arms and watches you, walking around her room in your bikini top and shorts. the photo incident had already been forgotten in your mind, but ellie was still thinking about that moment.
even though she assured you that she had deleted the photo, the truth was that she still had it in her gallery, feeling guilty every time she looked at it.
"sure" ellie said, abandoning her gaze on your body "if you want to drown yourself again"
"i didn't drown" you protested "that wave came in unexpectedly"
you lie down next to her, staring at the ceiling just as she does, separated by inches. ellie's almost-kiss comes to mind, but you dismiss that memory as quickly as you can, trying not to fantasize about something that isn't going to happen.
she's your best friend. just that.
it isn't long before the album comes to an end, burying the room in a deep silence. The air is uncomfortable for ellie, who feels the need to speak up and confess her sin.
"i didn't delete the picture" she says after a few minutes.
you furrow your eyebrows and look at her "what? which picture?"
ellie abandons her gaze to the ceiling and looks at your breasts, and then at you "you know..."
the answer hits you "oh"
"i'm sorry" ellie says "i had to tell you, it doesn't feel right"
you look up at the ceiling again "why didn't you delete it?"
you hear ellie laugh lightly "isn't it obvious?"
you feel your heart in your throat, ready to come out the moment you utter a word.
"it's not obvious to me"
an immense heat takes hold of ellie's body, a heat that is not due to the temperature outside. she feels her cheeks redden and her lips feel extremely dry and suddenly the ceiling looks so interesting that she want to watch it forever.
"well..." in your eyes, ellie doesn't look as confident as usual, more vulnerable "i think i like you."
"you think?"
"okay, okay" ellie snorts "i like you"
"it's just weird" she continues "i mean, it feels weird that you like your best friend, you know? i don't know, i haven't stopped thinking about it since you sent me that picture"
you don't say anything, and ellie takes that as a bad sign.
"i'm sorry" she mumbles, looking at the ceiling and wanting to hit her head "i shouldn't have said that. i would leave if i could but it's my home so...."
"can you kiss me?" you speak and ellie looks at you
"what?"
ellie analyzes your gestures, looking for some indication that what you are telling her is a vile joke that you can both laugh at later, or pretend to laugh at.
"a real kiss this time" you say and ellie smile embarrassed as she remembers "kisses on the corner don't count"
"shut up. I didn't know how you were going to react."
"you didn't even see my reaction! you ran into the living room!"
they both laugh uproariously, although ellie laughs mostly out of embarrassment.
a few seconds pass. fifteen seconds if you ask ellie.
"well, are you going to do it?" you mutter.
ellie stands up and moves closer to you, leaning on one arm to support her weight so she doesn't fall on you. you can feel her confidence return as she provokes your lips by gently brushing hers across them but not making full contact.
"ellie" your voice comes out as a strangled moan.
and she finally kisses you.
the warmth of her lips impacting against yours and sending you into a dreamy spiral. her hands hold you as if you are going to disappear, encircling and touching your skin.
everything about her touch counterbalances her personality. her touch is kind, gentle, soft, and it's ellie's
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