#that comment compounded with other comments he’s made about me relying on accommodations too much

[nope-body]

.

#thinking about a comment my dad made a bit ago #that my accommodation for extended time is unusual for someone like me because it’s usually for people who have an intellectual disability #and it just. makes me so upset? and frustrated and just. sad. #upset because he doesn’t know what he’s talking about and is just assuming that he’s right (like always when it comes to my mental health) #he had no reason to say that! #that comment compounded with other comments he’s made about me relying on accommodations too much #and how I should be trying to overcome my challenges instead of just getting an accommodation #stuff like that #his comment with the context of what he’s said before just comes across as extremely ableist and uncaring #and I’m frustrated because I know exactly why he said it! because it’s what my counselors are saying to justify not wanting to give me the #accommodations I’m asking for #they’re using the excuse of ‘I’m too smart for accommodations’ essentially #and it’s frustrating because at the very least my *counselor* should be on my side because she’s my counselor! her job is to support me! #but instead I’m put in this box of ‘too smart to need help’ by the people who’s job it is to help me #and guess what! just because I’m smart does not erase my need for help! #just because my brain can work overtime to compensate for all the problems I have and still be able to do advanced work #*doesn’t mean that my brain isn’t doing more work than a neurotypical person’s and needs support so that it doesn’t have to* #and all their comments just reflect a basic misunderstanding of what ADHD even *is* #my parents and my counselor and the school psychiatrist- none of them understand that ADHD is a way of functioning and thinking #and that it goes down to the biological structure of the brain. that it is inherently different than a neurotypical brain and that #is not changeable #but they don’t get it! they think about it like anxiety or depression. where you can change your thought patterns and break out of it #that’s not how adhd works!! #and I’m sad because it’s the same problem with my parents again and again. #they’re demonstrating that they don’t care enough about me to learn about adhd #something that has been a problem with them ever since I was diagnosed #they just. don’t learn. they don’t educate themselves #and I want my parents to care about me! but they’re showing that they don’t. not really. #because they won’t even learn about a mental disorder that both their kids have. one that impacts them daily and will continue to for #the rest of our lives

[planarchaosproject]

Planar Chaos: Chapter Fourteen

The Race is On

Teysa felt herself break out in a cold sweat. It had been three days and she hadn't so much as caught a glance of Vilhelm. She hobbled through the Orzhov compound as fast as her cane would allow. Her breath came in desperate gasps. Guild members commented on the wild look in her eyes in hushed tones as she passed them. Her heart hammered in her chest, but not the familiar hammering she'd begun to enjoy when Vilhelm fed on her. This hammering was accompanied by an icy feeling in her stomach that wouldn't go away.

She threw open the door to Vilhelm's room in surprise. She hadn't anticipated the door to be unlocked. His bed was made, all his possessions were in order just as they always were. It seemed as though Vilhelm was still occupying the space, but there was a sealed letter on his bed with her name on it.

"Fool!" She cried. "We could have been discovered."

In fact, that was what the letter alleged.

My Dearest Teysa,

I must leave you for a brief period. Though it pains me to do so, you must know it is for your safety and mine. I believe Karlov is on the verge of discovering our secret. Even you must agree we have become bolder in recent history. Know that you will be on my mind and in my heart always.

Your Eternal Servant,

Vilhelm.

It had been written so that it would read to prying eyes as a love letter. The Ghost Council would believe something as base as Teysa taking a lover. Vilhelm was counting on their hubris to cause them to accept the most obvious answer. They believed their envoy to be completely obedient after her last failed attempt to bring them to justice, and many still remembered the cheap thrills of life.

Vilhelm himself was on a different plane entirely with Rhyne awaiting Rinok's arrival. The underground maze had many openings onto the surface of Xerex, but they had chosen this one for its relatively straightforward descent.

"He's always late," Rhyne commented.

"He didn't try to go after the dragon girl again, did he?" Vilhelm asked.

"No. I think he drank too much at the huge Thrill Kill party last night with the Cult of Rakdos. Those guys know how to party." Rhyne licked his lips, recalling the sweet taste of pig blood dripping from the chainwalker, and then later from Exava, the blood witch. "Their guild champion is a firecracker of a woman too."

"Is that all you do with your life? Torture small animals and bed women?"

Rinok appeared as Vilhelm was finishing his question. "Of course not," he answered for Rhyne. "He also tortures large animals."

Rhyne shrugged. "Are you ready to go?"

They entered the maze and for a time, the path was straight, however they soon realized that it began curving to the left and making a corkscrew path.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Vilhelm asked Rhyne.

"Look, there's another pathway right over there. We can just jump to it. It's only three feet away." Rhyne took a short hop and wound up ten feet higher than he'd intended, and also behind his companions. "What the?"

"Drop back down here, we can try again," Rinok shouted.

Rhyne took the jump, but he landed on the underside of the path he'd been trying to access the first time. Or was it the top side? He was standing firmly rooted to the ground, but now it appeared Vilhelm and Rinok were hanging off of the earth.

"This place is mad," Rhyne said.

"It certainly seems that way," Vilhelm said. Rinok nodded in agreement. "We should just turn around and try another door."

The vampire and the warrior turned around, but the way back had vanished.

"We have to complete the maze," Vilhelm breathed, terror gripping him for the first time since Mikhail had stabbed him with the moonsilver dagger.

"What do you mean?" Rhyne demanded.

"He means that if we want to get out, we have to go forward," Rinok said, crossing his arms.

The three walkers startled when a giggle echoed through the maze.

0000

"Face it, Marthel, we're lost." Kyari slouched, calling her hydra to heel. Sa'Raah and Brock slid off of the giant beast's back, but found themselves standing on the ceiling instead. Or was the hydra standing on the ceiling?

"Okay. I admit it. We're lost." Marthel rested his face in his hands. "Down isn't down, left is sometimes right, and forward seems to be two hundred seventy degrees behind us."

"It would take a madman to understand this place," Sa'Raah said, attempting to reach one of the hydra's heads so she could rejoin her comrades.

"Or a genius," Brock countered. "Urza was supposed to be the most brilliant of the ancient planeswalkers."

"Okay, a mad genius." Sa'Raah succeeded in contact with the hydra and was able to slide down its neck. "But if he got to the center I can't imagine how he got back out."

"He probably just planeswalked," Marthel said. "We could just walk off and back to the beginning and start all over at another entrance. Maybe there's only one real path and the rest are fakes like this one to weed out the undeserving."

Marthel pushed out against the walls of the plane, feeling for the blind eternities and the worlds that lay beyond. He felt for a plane, any plane he'd been before. He gripped onto the plane, but when he went to pull himself through the space between spaces, he hit a powerful wall that physically knocked the wind out of his lungs. Marthel began coughing, unable to catch his breath.

"Marthel? Marthel are you okay?" Kyari placed a hand on his back, using her magic to bring him back to stability.

"Urza you brilliant motherfucker," Marthel wheezed.

"What?" Brock asked, sliding down a different hydra neck. The beast had been trying its best to leave Brock hanging upside down off of the pathway above, but he finally caught one head.

"We can't planeswalk out of here," Marthel explained. "Once you enter the maze, you can't leave until you complete it."

"But can we summon things?" Sa'Raah said, a hint of fear creeping into her voice.

"Let me try," Marthel said. He rolled up his sleeves and flexed his fingers. He concentrated on Nadia, willing her to his side. The angel slowly materialized in front of him, but only after Marthel was visibly sweating and gasping for air did she become solid.

"Marthel?" Nadia seemed surprised. "You told me I would not be needed on this venture of yours. I'm rather happy to see you've decided I'm correct."

"Nadia, we can't planeswalk away."

The angel's face turned dark. "So we are to remain here until you either find what you're looking for or die trying?"

"That's a little grim," Kyari said. "I don't think we brought enough provisions to accommodate the hydra for more than a few days."

"The hydra?" Brock asked. "Kyari, what about us? What are we going to eat?"

"There has to be something in this maze that's edible," Sa'Raah said. "Why would Urza do something like this if everyone who tried would starve?"

"Maybe that's the point," Brock said. "What if whatever is in here is so dangerous that nobody should have it?"

"Brock, we talked about this," Kyari said, rubbing her temples.

"What if I'm right, Kyari? None of you have entertained the possibility that I might be right." Brock's voice grew louder.

"If you're right, we'll shower you with praise and help you destroy the research like we agreed to," Sa'Raah said. "A dragon never goes back on her word." Inside her, she still felt the creeping suspicion that she was not a true dragon. Niv Mizzet had guaranteed her place, but relying on others was something she'd learned from her mother. Before Dromoka, Sa'Raah had been feral, vicious, the Broodculler of Jund. Those dragons took what they wanted. They were dragons like her Aunt Atarka, savage and feared.

"I just want to make sure we're all agreed on that," Brock emphasized the word, turning his eyes to Marthel. Nadia's feathers ruffled in response.

"Brock, I told you, I'm not going to take sides in this. I just want to know what's down there." Marthel knitted his eyebrows together. He'd been almost positive that Kyari had fully restored Brock's mind after their recent visit to Innistrad, but now he wasn't so sure.

Kyari, you said you fixed him.

I did, Marthel. This is just who Brock is.

It's not who he used to be. What happened?

Responsibility. Not all of us spend our time reveling in the complexity of life and the sheer magnitude of the fact that we exist.

"You're talking about me, aren't you?" Brock asked, accusation in his voice.

"Guys, I think we have bigger things to worry about," Sa'Raah said, peering around the hydra's neck. A large mechanical being that resembled a crab now blocked their path.

They heard a giggle echo from somewhere in the maze.

0000

"Okay, everyone climb onto Maelstrom. Does everyone remember the plan?" Odom asked, giving Ashleigh a boost so she could clamber up the massive elemental's legs and onto the wide expanse of its back. Abby, who was being transported in a sling that Ashleigh could either wear in front of or behind her, made cheerful gurgling noises.

"Sverre and I each concentrate on one of the enchantments to keep Maelstrom at a manageable size, you work on the first part of navigating the maze," Ashleigh said, pulling Abby back around to the front and settling the creature in her lap. The gurgling noises turned into a birdlike squawk of delight at being able to see Ashleigh's face again.

"Excellent." Odom reached down to help Sverre for the last few feet.

"Why am I always concerned that you'll just detach your arm and leave me hanging here?" Sverre asked, a wry smile on his face.

"I have no idea what you're talking about. When have I ever done something like that?" Odom returned the smile.

"Tarkir, four years ago. I fell in a pond from thirty feet," Sverre chuckled.

"That was an accident," Odom insisted.

"You told me to have fun swimming."

"Boys!" Ashleigh barked. "The maze beckons."

She was partially right. The opening into the maze Maelstrom was standing in front of had widened itself in an attempt to accommodate the giant elemental.

"Okay. Signets at the ready. There doesn't seem to be any colored mana here, so our rocks are our only means of generating it. On my mark. One. Two. Go!" Odom cried.

Maelstrom shrunk down to about a third of his normal size, just small enough to barely squeeze through the opening of the maze.

"This is exciting," Oona said from her perch on Sverre's shoulder.

"It is, dear. With this step, I'm closer to achieving that which I lost all those years ago. I'll be closer to being able to spend the rest of eternity with you as well," Sverre said. "You'll finally have a king whose power matches your beauty."

"Still keen on keeping that promise, I see." Oona kissed her king on the cheek.

"I may be a necromancer who feeds on the essences of gods in order to achieve eternal life, but I am still a man of my word."

"They're so cute," Ashleigh said, leaning against Odom.

"I know. It's kind of gross." Odom put an arm around Ashleigh and directed Maelstrom forward. "Yo Broski, let's get this party started."

Maelstrom responded with his low rumbling and descended into the maze.

They had it mostly figured out in about an hour with the combination of Ashleigh's insanity and Odom's genius. Remaining on one's path took them forward, deviating, however, had consequences.

"So if we want to keep going forward, we should jump down and land on the bottom of that pathway over there?" Odom asked.

"That seems to be the right path, dear," Ashleigh replied.

Maelstrom followed their instructions, and in time he was scuttling along what had once been the ceiling while they navigated an infinite staircase. They had gone up thirty-two flights when they found a pathway leading off of it, but they progressed on what seemed to be the underside of the pathway, or maybe the entire maze was upside down now, they couldn't be entirely sure.

Abby was having the time of its short life riding around on the big glowy thing with Mommy and Daddy. It knew they were Mommy and Daddy because they had been present from Abby's earliest memories. They fed Abby, they took care of Abby, and from what the infant abomination knew of the emotion, they loved Abby.

Mommy was the one who wore soft clothes and was always looking at Abby with such love that Abby never wanted it to stop. Daddy was kind of like the big glowy thing, but different in that Daddy was smaller and not as loud. Daddy loved Abby too, and Daddy would always protect Abby. Abby knew it had to be true, because Daddy told Abby so. Mommy and Daddy wanted Abby to grow big and strong so that Abby could show the world how amazing Abby was.

Abby leaned back against Mommy and reached out for Daddy's hand with Abby's longest tentacle, hooking it around Daddy's littlest finger. Abby made a sort of purring noise that Abby hoped Mommy and Daddy understood as Abby saying "I love you".