#that bruce wayne is the batman

[fernacular]

Despite what you may have heard Bruce Wayne is not, in fact, a furry.

He is, however, very opinionated.

#My art #bruce wayne #selina kyle #batman #cat woman #dc #They break up like twice a month dw dw

[mckinlily]

Plot armor but it’s Bruce Wayne’s wealth.

Bruce is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce does not want to be one of the richest men in world.

He starts by implementing high starting salaries and full health care coverages for all levels at Wayne Enterprises. This in vastly improves retention and worker productivity, and WE profits soar. He increases PTO, grants generous parental and family leave, funds diversity initiatives, boosts salaries again. WE is ranked “#1 worker-friendly corporation”, and productively and profits soar again.

Ok, so clearly investing his workers isn’t the profit-destroying doomed strategy his peers claim it is. Bruce is going to keep doing it obviously (his next initiative is to ensure all part-time and contractors get the same benefits and pay as full time employees), but he is going to have to find a different way to dump his money.

But you know what else is supposed to be prohibitively expensive? Green and ethical initiatives. Yes, Bruce can do that. He creates and fund a 10 year plan to covert all Wayne facilities to renewable energy. He overhauls all factories to employ the best environmentally friendly practices and technologies. He cuts contracts with all suppliers that engage in unethical employment practices and pays for other to upgrade their equipment and facilities to meet WE’s new environmental and safety requirements. He spares no expense.

Yeah, Wayne Enterprises is so successful that they spin off an entire new business arm focused on helping other companies convert to environmentally friendly and safe practices like they did in an efficient, cost effective, successful way.

Admittedly, investing in his own company was probably never going to be the best way to get rid of his wealth. He slashes his own salary to a pittance (god knows he has more money than he could possibly know what to do with already) and keeps investing the profits back into the workers, and WE keeps responding with nearly terrifying success.

So WE is a no-go, and Bruce now has numerous angry billionaires on his back because they’ve been claiming all these measures he’s implementing are too expensive to justify for decades and they’re finding it a little hard to keep the wool over everyone’s eyes when Idiot Softheart Bruice Wayne has money spilling out his ears. BUT Bruce can invest in Gotham. That’ll go well, right?

Gotham’s infrastructure is the OSHA anti-Christ and even what little is up to code is constantly getting destroyed by Rogue attacks. Surely THAT will be a money sink.

Except the only non-corrupt employer in Gotham city is….Wayne Enterprises. Or contractors or companies or businesses that somehow, in some way or other, feed back to WE. Paying wholesale for improvement to Gotham’s infrastructure somehow increases WE’s profits.

Bruce funds a full system overhaul of Gotham hospital (it’s not his fault the best administrative system software is WE—he looked), he sets up foundations and trusts for shelters, free clinics, schools, meal plans, day care, literally anything he can think of.

Gotham continues to be a shithole. Bruce Wayne continues to be richer than god against his Batman-ingrained will.

Oh, and Bruice Wayne is no longer viewed as solely a spoiled idiot nepo baby. The public responds by investing in WE and anything else he owns, and stop doing this, please.

Bruce sets up a foundation to pay the college tuition of every Gotham citizen who applies. It’s so successful that within 10 years, donations from previous recipients more than cover incoming need, and Bruce can’t even donate to his own charity.

But by this time, Bruce has children. If he can’t get rid of his wealth, he can at least distribute it, right?

Except Dick Grayson absolutely refuses to receive any of his money, won’t touch his trust fund, and in fact has never been so successful and creative with his hacking skills as he is in dumping the money BACK on Bruce. Jason died and won’t legally resurrect to take his trust fund. Tim has his own inherited wealth, refuses to inherit more, and in fact happily joins forces with Dick to hack accounts and return whatever money he tries to give them. Cass has no concept of monetary wealth and gives him panicked, overwhelmed eyes whenever he so much as implies offering more than $100 at once. Damian is showing worrying signs of following in his precious Richard’s footsteps, and Babs barely allows him to fund tech for the Clocktower. At least Steph lets him pay for her tuition and uses his credit card to buy unholy amounts of Batburger. But that is hardly a drop in the ocean of Bruce’s wealth. And she won’t even accept a trust fund of only one million.

Jason wins for best-worst child though because he currently runs a very lucrative crime empire. And although he pours the vast, vast majority of his profits back into Crime Alley, whenever he gets a little too rich for his tastes, he dumps the money on Bruce. At this point, Bruce almost wishes he was being used for money laundering because then he’s at least not have the money.

So children—generous, kindhearted, stubborn till the day they die the little shits, children—are also out.

Bruce was funding the Justice League. But then finances were leaked, and the public had an outcry over one man holding so much sway over the world’s superheroes (nevermind Bruce is one of those superheroes—but the public can’t know that). So Bruce had to do some fancy PR trickery, concede to a policy of not receiving a majority of funds from one individual, and significantly decrease his contributions because no one could match his donations.

At his wits end, Bruce hires a team of accounts to search through every crinkle and crevice of tax law to find what loopholes or shortcuts can be avoided in order to pay his damn taxes to the MAX.

The results are horrifying. According to the strictest definition of the law, the government owes him money.

Bruce burns the report, buries any evidence as deeply as he can, and organizes a foundation to lobby for FAR higher taxation of the upper class.

All this, and Wayne Enterprises is happily chugging along, churning profit, expanding into new markets, growing in the stock market, and trying to force the credit and proportionate compensation on their increasingly horrified CEO.

Bruce Wayne is one of the richest men in the world. Bruce Wayne will never not be one of the richest men in the world.

But by GOD is he trying.

#batman #bruce wayne #laws of this dc universe say Gotham is always a hellcity #and bruce wayne is always filthy rich #bruce wayne is fighting with everything he has against both those facts #he’s not going to win #but he’s not going to stop either #bruce crying with fistfuls of money in his hands: take it. PLEASE #the public: donate more???

[arcventi]

#batfam #batman #jason todd #red hood #dc comics #bruce wayne

[bianc0re]

arcade night 🕹️🦇

#batfam #jason todd #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #robin #damian wayne #batgirl #batman #bruce wayne #dccomics #digital art

[vodrae]

Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #bruce wayne #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #cassandra cain #batfamily incorrect quotes #tim drake #duke thomas #brucie wayne #stephanie brown #harper row #helena wayne #barbara gordon #batkids #batsiblings #helena kyle #athanasia al ghul #cassandra wayne #kull wayne #aion wayne #terry mcginnis #matt mcginnis #carrie kelley #alina shelley

[ashoss]

some things dont change

#batburger as a concept is lowkey hilarious to me #jason todd #robin #robin ii #red hood #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #batfam #batdad #dc comics #dc fanart #illustration #ash's doodlings #with minor cameo from discowing spoiler and black bat #can u tell i dont like drawing backgrounds

[randoparody]

#dc comics #batman #dc robin #dc universe #superhero #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #red hood #nightwing #superman #superman the animated series #batman the animated series #conner kent #kon el #superboy #timkon #superbat

[ninalinovna]

bruce is a tired dad

#diana prince #wonder woman #bruce wayne #batman #batfamily #dc fanart #dc comics #myart

[minnow-doodle-doo]

Jason keeps him humble

#dc #dc comics #jason todd #bruce wayne #batman #my art

[t00thpasteface]

"well, the laser vision IS a plus, because it's cool watching her set stuff on fire from 50 yards away. and i like that she can fly and get things off of high shelves for me. but those aren't the ONLY reasons why i like her!"

(also i hope you enjoy retro batdad, because that's where my brain's at right now. i'm delighted that starfire's design is already so incredibly 60s; she fits right in 🌠)

#this was a stress sketch between studying for my chem final and then a celebratory cooldown coloring after i finished it #art #comic #dc #teen titans #batman #bruce wayne #dc robin #starfire #koriand'r #dickkory #superman #superbat

[sumpter]

ALSO the fact that tim drake canonically watches bruce get stabbed, spies on the titans tower, knows all of the titans schedules, spies on dick’s apartment with kori, breaks into dick’s old apartment, follows him to the circus, has kept newspaper clippings of batman and robin since he was able to read, knows what art bruce wayne collects, had dreams about being saved by batman and robin and y’all REDUCE his stalker tendencies to just he followed them and took pictures….. no. no, we need him crazier.

#tim drake #batman #robin #batfam #dc comics #dc robin #dick grayson #bruce wayne

[panakina]

I think it’d be funny if Dick and Jason, due to wearing bright yellow capes on the job for years, are capable of stealth to a frankly unhinged degree. They barely have to try anymore it’s so second nature. Dick can just completely disappear while in the loudest neon clothes imaginable. Jason is constantly startling people who don’t understand how they missed a guy the size of a fridge standing right there. Bruce is extremely grateful for his unbreakable poker face because they have both startled him by accident and would never ever let him live it down if they knew.

#tim and damian started with black capes that are only yellow on the outside #and they’re still very good obvious they’re all bats #but its not quite the same #jason todd #dc #red hood #dick grayson #nightwing #batfam #batman #bruce wayne

[reebmiester]

Complete based on this

#batfam #bat family #bruce wayne #duke thomas #alfred pennyworth #batman #signal #dc comics #batfamily #my art

[redsray]

the funniest part of any Robin meeting the JL is that every Robin is so distinctly different from the previous one in terms of personality and vibes that the league literally gets backlash. and like, I don't blame them. not to mention that they are non-meta children that dress as a traffic light and fight crime alongside batman in gotham on a nightly basis. i'd also be a bit concerned. Batman, literally The Night of Gotham personified in the League's eyes, coming into a JL meeting: This is Robin, my crime-fighting partner. 11-year-old Dick Grayson, dressed in the brightest primary colours possible, vaguely hidden murder behind those eyes, never stops moving even for a moment: Hi! Superman: That's a child. That's-- Bats that is a child. You let a child--? Batman, deadpan: You try to stop him. Would you rather he try and murder a grown man with a wire?

Batman: This is Robin. 12-year-old Jason Todd, with the biggest grin on his face, about 3 books in his hand, stars in his eyes and a distinct street-kid drawl: Hey!!! Green Lantern: That's ... that's a different child. What?? Jason: I stole his tires :) Batman: Tried to. Jason, stage whispering to the League: basically did. Green Lantern: that is a different kid, right?? I'm not seeing shit??

Batman: This is Robin. 14-year-old Tim Drake, bo staff clutched in his hand, a wary and tired expression on his face, more on the quiet side, the literal walking definition of don't judge a book by it's cover: hello Flash: Where do you even find these-- Tim: I found myself.

Batman: This is Robin. 17-year-old Stephanie Brown, literally blonde, with a shit-eating grin, eyes full of nothing but mischief and the most explosive personality you've ever seen: hiya!! Superman: I give up. Stephanie: I know, I have that amazing effect on people.

Batman: This is Robin. 13-year-old Damian Wayne, a literal wet cat that will hiss at you, has a sword, the most judgemental stare you'll get from a teenager, ready to jump anyone there: Green Lantern: WHY DOES HE HAVE A SWORD?! Batman: ... he came with the sword.

#batman #batfam #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #dc comics #icb i posted this w/o tags the first time #what is wrong w me #superman: where do you find these kids #bruce: they just show up tbh #especially tim. he LITERALLY just showed up #anyone: so which one is really robin? #bruce: they are all really robin. #bruce: dick wanted to kill a man. #jason tried hijacking my tires in CRIME ALLEY. #tim just appeared and made himself robin that was NOT me #stephanie also wanted to kill a man. #damian did kill a man. or two. #YOU try to parent these kids then come back to me clark

[frownyalfred]

Thinking about the JL finding out that Bruce has contingency plans for all of his kids and being horrified. But when the League asks them about it, all the kids are like “yeah! we actually all have them for each other just in case” and move on like it’s perfectly normal to have three different ways to take out your brother on hand (for emergencies).

#thoughts #bruce wayne #batman #dc #batfamily #batkids #batfam #like father like son #except it’s like paranoid bat figure #like paranoid bat child

[mindflayer-inc]

Batman AU

Batman tells Gordon that he doesn't kill. Thinking that it's a legality issue, Gordon deputizes Batman and gives him a gun and badge. Batman of course doesn't use the gun and just figures Gordon is stressed.

After Joker kills a Robin, Gordon starts to deputize the Batfam members.

Gordon: Next time you see that clown. Take. The. Shot. Rookie.

Robin (Tim, tiny ass 14 year old holding a 45 magnum): Umm... Yes sir?

Batman (plus all the Rogues, minions, and citizens of Gotham when Robin shows up with a 45 Magnum):

#incorrect quotes #batman #batfam #robin #commissioner gordon #bruce wayne #tim drake #joker would probably find it funny #riddler would call cps #random thugs would give batman shit for “giving” robin a gun #yeah 45 magnum isnt standard issue but its funnier if it was