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jae-daddy · 3 years

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Duff (4)

jaebum au series

one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight masterlist

pairing: im jaebum x reader genre: angst, smut, cheating, CEO! i guess too now plot: you are the duff, and guys use you to get close to your bestfriend, turns out jaebum was no exception. but as time goes on the tension between you and your bestfriend’s unoffical boyfriend grows a/n: it so late, I'm literally seeing double rn... hope y’all like it! <3 not edited.

Life is brimming with lessons that teach you how to live without being naive and a fool.

You were already taught a few lessons by life, as it made you jump through endless hoops burning with malicious flames waiting to scorch your skin at slightest touch.

So you found it fair to hold yourself as intelligent and mature.

Therefore, you trusted your conclusion to ignore whatever happened in the elevator with Im Jaebum.

What was said, what was done; none of it mattered.

An important lesson you’ve learnt is people say and do crazy things when they are riding high a shot of adrenaline.

Jaebum’s near-death experience led him to say things that he would not on a normal day. It was only because he was scared that he did. And everyone wants to die an honest man. You were certain if it were Paul in the elevator instead of you, Jaebum might have confessed something outrageous to him too.

So that was not the reason why you were staring at the two males in front of you as they spoke absolute nonsense to you. You already knew not to take what happened in that tiny metal box seriously. Instead, it was another life lesson you knew that made you stare at them as if they had grown two heads: everything has a price.

“Not everyone gets an opportunity like this, y/n,” Paul spoke, a second away from begging on his knees.

You shook your head in distaste, this was not part of the plan. Actually, there was no plan, but if you had one, this would definitely not be it. This was not how you imagined your lottery internship to turn out.

“Paul, I am flattered the company believes me to be capable of such an important role,” you breathed, trying to keep a polite smile as your eyes bounced between the bald man and the smirking jerk. “However, I do not think I would be suitable for this role. I made it clear in my internship contract that I will not have my studies affected by this opportunity. Unfortunately, being the secretary of the -”

“I’m sorry to stop you, y/n,” Paul cut you off, not apologetic at all. You bit your cheeks to hold back a sneer. “We have thought about this through, and believe it to be the best plan of action to take right now. Mr Im is new to this company and is temporary, and while we have made a public announcement, he is still on trial.

“We could get someone in a fixed-term confidential contract, but that’s too complicated.”

Your brows furrowed as you disagreed with that, but you didn't say anything.

“The remaining time left in your contract and Mr Im’s trial period match up perfectly. You already have secretarially role in the company, so you already know the ups and downs, the tricks and tips, so we really believe this is the best way. And about your studies, the summer break began last week. However, if you believe this to be in violation of your contract, we will compensate.”

“Compensate?” You rose an eyebrow, payment would be better than slaving away for free.

“Pay you, just like any other employee,” Paul smiled happily. Finally seeing some indication of interest from your side. He added, proudly, “with all employee benefits.”

You bit your lip in deep thought.

You mentally weighed the pros and cons.

There were pros, so many pros; a better resume, money, free coffee and healthcare, etc. But the con, the big con stared at you in bold, italics, highlighted in large red fonts: you’d be working for Im Jaebum.

If this was someone else you would have said yes the moment they offered it, even without the benefits. But with Im Jaebum, things got complicated.

You weren’t sure if he could maintain the professional relationship between the two of you. And if you were being completely honest, you didn’t know if you could maintain it too.

Even now, with Paul standing at one end of the table, and Jaebum settled on the long side. Your mind couldn’t help thinking about how short your skirt was, and how easy it would be for Jaebum to bend you over the wooden table, and make you a moaning mess.

It would be quite difficult to maintain professionalism when you’d be spending time alone with him. Or maybe, he would use his position to make you suffer. He might end up not coming to work at all, have you do all his work, and just show up to sign and show his face.

So much could go wrong with working for Im Jaebum.

And you also had to consider the fact that you hadn’t talked to him since the elevator incident.

You haven’t been to Heather’s place, too busy with the piled up assignments all due within the last two weeks. The twenty hours of weekly internship didn’t give you any freed up time either. You didn’t get an opportunity to see Heather, or her boyfriend, Im Jaebum, to have a talk.

“Oh come on, y/n,” Jaebum smiled at you, making your blood boil instantly. This was the first thing he said to you in the past two weeks and somehow managed to be an arrogant shit-eater when he did. Your glare didn’t make his smile falter as he sang, “It’ll be fun.”

No way. You thought. There is no way you would be able to work for that self-centred, cocky, incredibly hot jerk.

“We’ll cover your fees.” Paul stopped you before the no on the tip of your tongue tumbled out. You stared at him in shock, as he looked at you expectedly.

“My university fees?” You asked, shocked.

“Yes, all of it.” He nodded.

That’s a lot.

Your eyes fell on Jaebum who smirked at you as if he had the whole entire world at his feet's disposal, and maybe he truly did. He had something similar to that power if the company was willing to go to such extents to make him stay.

The pros were really starting to outweigh the annoying, irritating con.

“Fine,” you licked your lips, with a sigh. “I’m in.”

Paul almost jumped in his place with excitement, “Thank you, y/n! Thank you so much!”

Paul walked out swiftly muttering something about going to the HR and having a contract formed immediately. Your eyes followed him as he left, remaining on the doors that closed behind him.

You could feel his gaze burning the side of your face, and it truly felt as if you were about to combust.

“What?” You snarked, turning towards him annoyed.

Jaebum just snickered as he swirled side to side, carefree, on his chair, “Why are you always so mad, love?”

You rolled your eyes getting up, “I guess this meeting is over.”

“I didn’t dismiss you, y/n,” Jaebum said, stopping his playful actions.

“You’re not my boss until I sign that piece of paper, so,” you gave him a middle finger with a tight smile before walking out the office.

You could hear his light laughter follow you, but you ignored it.

You stopped in your tracks as you remembered something and entered the room once again. Jaebum looked up at you, surprised, before smiling brightly, “Welcome back.”

You cursed yourself for returning after such an amazing exit, but there were more pressing matters than your pride.

“Have you told Heather about what happened?” You closed the door behind you, making sure no one could hear you.

Jaebum’s eyes danced with amusement, as he shrugged, drawling, “What happened?”

“In the elevator, Jaebum,” you gritted through your teeth as you stepped closer towards him.

Jaebum’s smiled only grew as he frowned with feigned innocence, “I can’t seem to remember, maybe if you could help me remember.”

His lazy gaze fell to your lips before meeting your eyes again. A spark ignited deep inside you, and you told yourself it was anger; it was an annoyance.

You clicked your jaw as you smacked your hands onto the desk, leaning over it. Jaebum watched you, carefully, not intimidated a bit, only amused.

Your eyes narrowed at him, before you smiled sweetly, “You were holding my hand and crying like a child.”

Jaebum hissed, unaffected, as he tsked, “I can’t seem to remember that.”

“Did you tell her or not?” You groaned, your annoyance at peak.

What you would do to this man if you got a chance. He wouldn’t be smiling like that, he’d be begging you for forgiveness, for release.

Jaebum smirked as if he could read your mind, “No, I didn't.”

“Good,” you nodded, gulping as his eyes watched you with unsettling darkness. “Don’t.”

He rose his eyebrow, before nodding, “As you wish, y/n.”

You turned and felt his gaze watch you as you walked out. You felt it lower, watching your hips as it swayed side to side. Your hand gripped the cool handle as your shoulders sagged slightly.

You let out a low sigh, “Thanks.”

You disappeared behind the door before Jaebum could reply.

“Babe!” Heather sang as her long limbs fell over you loosely. You laughed, as you helped her sit straight. She leaned against you again, snuggling her face into your neck as she hugged you, “I love the way you smell, baby!”

You chuckled as you patted her red matted hair soiled with glitter and sweat at the back of the Uber, “Thanks Heather, I like how you smell too.”

“Don’t lie,” you could hear her pout, and it only made you smile. “You always make fun of my feet.”

“But that’s only after the gym or a hike, Heather,” you told her, as you brushed the hair off her face.

Heather was completely wasted tonight.

She was already drunk by the time you walked into the club. Jaebum wasn’t anywhere to be found, and you found her with a group of her “friends” that you didn’t like.

They would always make her drink too much, give her a little white sugar, and let her waste her platinum card on those low lives.

You didn’t like the way the guys would touch her as she slumped back onto the couch unable to see straight. You didn’t like the way the girls sitting around would not help her, instead, encourage her to be worse.

You were mad when you were pulling her away from the crowd and towards the bathroom when you had found Jaebum. He had just got to the club himself but was ready to leave as soon as he saw the state Heather was in.

He sat on the other side of Heather, holding her purse, as Heather held you from the middle seat.

Heather mumbled something in return and you couldn’t understand it.

“By that red letterbox is fine,” you told the Uber driver as he slowed down.

Jaebum got out first, and you helped Heather onto his back before getting out. You turned to the driver, giving him a small smile, “Thank you.”

“No problem, have a good night,” he said, already accepting a new ride.

“You too,” you said, as you closed the door. You turned to Jaebum, with Heather hanging her head over his shoulder. Her long ember curls falling down his chest as he grunted and halted her up.

“Woah, stop,” Heather moaned, heaving.

Jaebum looked at you with terror in his eyes, and you laughed at him, “Come on, let’s get this party animal into bed.”

“Is this where you live?” Jaebum asked as you led him up the small walk to the door.

You snorted and shook your head, “No, this is Heather’s home.”

Jaebum rose his eyebrows, and you continued, as you unlocked the doors,

“Her parents don’t live in this house anymore, so Heather skips between here and the apartment.”

You turned the lights on and took in the home that greeted you.

“They love sure love red, huh?” Jaebum commented, taking in the red couch, red feature wall, and red details spread over the living room and kitchen.

You laughed at that, agreeing with him. The Blacks sure did take pride in their red-haired heritage, and didn’t hide the fact that it was family’s favourite colour, “Mrs Black was going through an interior design phase.”

“Thank god it was just a phase,” Jaebum snickered, making you turn to him with a pointed look as you tried to hide the smile.

“She wasn’t too bad,” you replied and began walking towards Heather’s room.

Jaebum followed behind you, grunting as he adjusted Heather on his back, “No, she was just too red.”

You rolled your eyes as you opened her bedroom door and walked towards the bed. You pulled down the covers and Jaebum gently set her down. You took off her shoes, and earrings carefully.

Jaebum didn’t say anything and just watched you as you walked around the room getting out her nightshirt, and face-cleansing products.

“Why are you looking at me, Jaebum?” You asked, not looking at him. Instead, you pumped out the cleanser on a pad and gently took off the makeup from her face.

“Is there a problem?” Jaebum asked back, making you snort.

You gently turned her face and began the other side, “Yes, it’s making me nervous. I can feel you judging me.”

He was probably thinking what everyone else seemed to think when they saw you and Heather. They never saw the whole you both had for each other, how you would do anything for one another. All they saw was Heather in all her brilliance, beauty and wealth, and you, as her second, her side-kick.

“I’m not judging you,” he replied instantly.

Something about the way he said it made you believe him. You bit your lip, as folded the dirty make-up pads and put them on the side table.

“Then what are you doing?” You took a wet towel, wiping her face. You patted it dry and misted some toner and moisturiser. You turned back and met Jaebum’s eyes that remained on you, “Why are you looking at me?”

“There’s nothing else to look at,” he simply shrugged.

You rolled your eyes and pointed to the wall covered with photos of Heather through the years. Most of them had you in them, celebrating every holiday, and some photos from random days when the sun was shining brightly.

Jaebum stared at the wall as if noticing it for the first time. He got up and slowly walked up towards it. He took in the photos for a while, a small chuckle leaving him sometimes, “How did you two become friends?”

You smiled at the memory, “She saved me.”

You stared at your gorgeous friend, as she got up slightly. She searched around, her eyes disappearing as she smiled spotting you, “Oh, you’re here, y/n. I was going to the store on Wednesday.”

She trailed off, falling back into her pillow dozing off again.

“Her hangover is going to kill her tomorrow,” you turned to Jaebum with a tight smile, as you held up the nightshirt, “I’m going to change her.”

Jaebum instantly turned on his heels and walked out, closing the doors behind him.

You walked out to the smell of coffee and Jaebum sitting at the kitchen counter with two mugs in front of him. You furrowed your eyebrows as you settled on the chair in front of him, “Is this poisoned?”

Jaebum snorted rolling his eyes.

You blew the coffee before sipping it. It was still searing hot, so you placed it down on the counter, and turned towards Jaebum.

You took in his midnight hair pushed back, revealing his forehead. You didn’t know you could find someone’s forehead so sexy, but after seeing his hair down while he was at work, you had to admit it was hot. His piercings that were normally missing during office hours had returned too, a few missing.

You frowned your eyes focusing on his nose and eyebrows, “Why aren’t you wearing all your piercings?”

“It’s a nuisance putting it on and off,” Jaebum shrugged, before pointing to his lips, his tongue coming out to flick the sliver hoop, “Just wore my favourite.”

You held your breath, as the image of the cool metal against your lips, flicked by your tongue, gently tugged by your teeth invaded your mind. Your cheeks heated but you continued like nothing was happening to your body.

“Do you have piercings anywhere else?”

Jaebum smirked, “If you’re into pierced nipples, I can get them done for you.”

You groaned, a ridiculous smile on your face as you shook your head, “Can you ever have a conversation without being a prick?”

“A prick?” he gasped, “that’s a bit harsh. I would say I’m more of a flirt.”

“Oh, so you know? This is a conscious decision. You wake up every day and decide to be the bane of my existence.”

“I do wake up every morning and think of you,” Jaebum smiled at you. He chuckled, seeing you roll your eyes at him.

“You’re ridiculous,” you snorted. Jaebum simply shrugged, smiling.

Something beeped from the kitchen and Jaebum got up. You watched him walk over to the stove and turn it off. He reached for a mug before looking through the drawers for something.

You narrowed your eyes watching him, “What are you looking for?”

“Uh... a strainer?” He turned back to you, scratching the back his head. “I don’t know what it’s called.”

Your heart melted at how adorable he looked standing there, confused and unsure. The smile on his lips was so beautiful as he watched you, waiting for you.

“The second drawer over there,” you pointed, not looking at him as your cheeks tinted rosy again.

Jaebum murmured thanks, before using it to drain the liquid from the pot and into the cup, “It’s a hangover tea. My mum makes it for me every time I get too drunk.”

“You live with your mum?” You asked. Jaebum peered back at you a small smile on his lips.

“Yeah, but I rarely ever get to see her.”

“Why’s that?” You frowned. The way Jaebum talked about her, the lightness in his voice and the softness of his smile, told you how much he adored his mother.

Jaebum shrugged before giving you a cheeky smile, “My house is too big.”

You laughed at that. You were not expecting that at all. You heard Jaebum’s low chuckle as you sobered up.

“What about you?” He asked as placed the cup onto a tray with a glass of water and two tablets he found next to the refrigerator. “Do you live alone?”

“Yup,” you nodded, before frowning, “Not even a pet.”

“No pets?” He asked, sympathetic.

You nodded, “I’m scared of animals. It doesn’t matter what size, or how well-trained, or what the animal is. I am terrified of them all the same.”

Jaebum gasped as if you had confessed to a murder, “What is wrong with you?”

“Wow, I thought this was a safe place,” you mumbled before taking a sip from your coffee that had cooled down. You hummed at the taste, he made good coffee.

“What about your parents?” Jaebum asked, making you stiffen. “Where do they live?”

You remained quiet.

You opened your mouth to tell him what you always told anyone who asks. It wasn’t that you were embarrassed or thought it was something to hide. You didn’t want people in your business and telling them to mind their business when they asked only piked up their interest more.

So you opened your mouth to tell him what you’ve been telling everyone for the past five years, “I don’t live with them.”

Normally you would follow up with something about living here was better for your education or future jobs. You would say something, an excuse, that was reason enough for many young people to move out of their parents home. But what you said surprised you, “I don’t talk to them anymore.”

“Oh,” was all Jaebum said. “That’s cool too.”

You peered up at him with a frown. You took in his relaxed gaze, the smile on his face just like it there was a minute ago. There was no sympathy, no pity. There was no spike in interest or anything.

He really didn’t want to pry. He didn't want to know why unless you told him. He only took as much as you could allow him.

Suddenly there was an iridescent pond shimmering in your chest. It swirled, making your whole body feel alive as you took in Im Jaebum. It felt as if your entire body was one cell, one tiny speck of dust caught in the breeze of Im Jaebum, and it didn’t mind.

You gulped, your body and mind acting quicker than you could control, “They couldn’t stand the sight of at me after they found out I was still doing something I promised I wouldn’t do anymore.”

The faces of your parents appeared in front of your eyes. The shock, anger, the disappointment on their face as they found you lying in a pool of your urine and vomit. The horror in their eyes, their desperateness as they shook your body, pleading for you to reply.

“They didn't kick me out. I left,” you ran a hand through your hair, as you let out a heavy sigh. You thought of the letter you wrote them, the way they had cried when they came to the hospital to meet you during those months, “I couldn’t hurt them anymore.”

“Do you think you would ever go meet them again?” You looked up to Jaebum watching you. You were thankful for the lack of pity in his eyes as he kept his gaze on you.

You sighed again, and it came out as a little laugh, “One day I will.”

You nodded, as you met his eyes. He smiled at you softly, and you smiled back as you scrunched your nose to stop the tears from threatening you, “When I am good enough, I will.”

“I hope that day comes soon.”

You didn’t realise Jaebum had come this close to you as you were talking. He leaned against the counter between you, his eyes intently taking you in. He folded his hands on the dark marble, his face leaning half-way over the counter.

You watched him back.

He was so beautiful.

You huffed out a smile as you shook your head at him. Jaebum instantly changed, leaning back, the playfulness in his eyes glinting once again as he rose an eyebrow in question.

“You’re not too bad, you know?” You smiled at him, before adding, “When you’re acting like a normal human being at least.”

Jaebum laughed at that before giving you a mocking smirk, “You’re not too bad yourself, y/n.”

You grinned about to say thank you, when he added, “When you’re not acting like a stick is stuck up your ass at least.”

“What an asshole,” you shook your head, laughing at him.

Jaebum beamed back, his eyes shining, “What a bitch.”

You took in the dark flecks in his eyes. You noticed their velvety blackness absorbing all light around it, but something else existed in those captivating eyes of his eyes. They didn’t get dragged away into the twilight of his gaze.

Instead, it shone brightly. It glistened, it was golden, white and sparkled like a starry night. It dragged you in, it made you want to lean close to him.

It made you want to place your lips on his and see how that shimmering halo swirled as he pulled you in closer. It made you want to reach for him, to place your hand on his soft cheeks. It made you want to walk around the counter and hug him in the middle of the kitchen littered with red embellishments.

Jaebum’s smile curled into an easy smirk as he winked at you before turning around. He picked up the tray with a cup of tea, a glass of water and Panadol, as walked towards the door the red-haired beauty was sleeping in.

Everything had a price.

Somewhere deep within your heart was a corner buried so deeply in the darkness you had forgotten it existed. The room was cold, dark, and there was nothing. Nothing except for a lone candle standing in the middle of the emptiness.

There had been nothing there for an eternity, and it was almost like magic. It almost felt like a trick of the eye, but then it happened again.

A flame, a spark, flickering at the tip of the candle; it sparked again.

This time it caught on. It burned, slowly getting brighter and livelier.

You watched Jaebum disappear behind the door of Heather’s room.

A sharp ache twisted your heart as you saw his broad back enter the dark room she was sleeping in.

The flame spreading over the wick twisted in shades of ember, their shadows dancing over the room.

You saw a word, you saw a face.

You knew the price for this feeling tugging, craving to grow bigger in your heart. You walked into the room, hidden in a deep corner of your heart. The ivory trail of your dress dragged on the dusty floor, turning brown with every step.

You didn’t look at the walls, you didn’t take in the shapes of the flames.

You took sharp, clear steps. You reached the candle, the flame reflecting softly against you. You closed your eyes, took in a deep breath and exhaled, blowing out the candle.

The flame was gone.

The candle extinguished, the room engulfed in darkness, once again.

You looked to the wall, the photo was no longer there but the image there was burnt into your mind.

The price of this feeling was too expensive.

It was too precious, and you couldn’t afford it.

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gakucchis · 4 years

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im gonna get a one way ticket to hell but

solomon headcanons♡

note: mc has they/them pronouns ♡ literally wanted to jump right in because i write all of my personal shit in female view, but i thought that if just one person who reads this doesn't get included i'd feel like shit so yeah

sfw ♡

probably wouldn't even notice that it's a crush at first

would just keep thinking of you, and believing it's because he's interested in your pacts

it changes though when he realizes that he's bothered by others around you

he's usually very jealous at first but nobody can feel it at a l l

and it doesn't matter if it's a demon he has made a pact with or not – it bothers him regardless

sort of figures out that it has to be more

finds excuses to spend time with you – helping out in school, trying to teach you something about pacts, or just saying "we're the only humans, we have to be there for each other"

it doesn't matter what you're doing, he's enjoying the time together

likes the way you're being skeptical about his intentions and continues to tease you about it

also enjoys when you rely on him because after all the time together you do start to trust him

would never really confess to you, probably because it's too cliché for him

it would probably slip out the moment he drinks a little too much

it would have needed too much, so he would probably tell you, hug you and fall asleep straight after

when he'd wake up the next day, he wouldn't remember it at first. AND THEN IT HITS

rarely embarrassed, but in that moment, he somehow lost all his confidence, especially because he can't remember your answer

knows he can't avoid you for long, so he gives you a call

glad you can't see his smile when you picked up and said "what's up, my boyfriend?"

would proudly tell everyone he's in a conversation with who's mentioning you that you're in a relationship (mostly to make other jealous)

back hugs when he randomly sees you in public

not too touchy when you're in a group, but holds your hand in public to make sure you feel safe

teases you about having less pacts than him because he loves your expressions

in general likes your flustered face

likes giving you kisses, but secretly wishes for you to kiss him a lot

also enjoys your presence when he's studying something in his room, even if you're just sleeping in his bed

naps with his head on your lap is rare because he doesn't like spending too much time asleep, but you make him want them

sometimes pretends to sleep, just so you'll put his head on your lap

would probably melt if you'd go through his hair

but he also likes when you fall asleep on his shoulder, or when you just put your head on his shoulder to vent or cry

compliments you a lot when he can't touch you – he's especially fond of your perfume

secretly casts a protection spell on you but would never tell you... because the teasing would be endless

would show his full affection when he's drunk (just like the first time it happened)

if you're the kind to be affectionate when drinking, he'd probably keep asking things like "how much do you love me?", "do you want to kiss me?", etc. just so you would shower him with love

sometimes when cuddling in bed, instead of saying i love you, he'd say something sarcastic

if you'd give him a little gift, whether it'd be something handmade or bought, he'd keep it with him as good luck charm just so none of the demons will start haunting him

hates cheesy nicknames, but he'd occasionally call you baby just to annoy you

"you having problems with your homework, baby?" but he'd laugh at your death glare

even though he or both of you cringe at it... sometimes an "i love you" to the other one is making both happy

nsfw ♡

if you skipped the sfw part for this... simeon is watching ☝️also this is the first time (or 2nd if you leave out my love live youriko smut from three years ago😔) i write something like this and because im babey🥺 it's hard 🥺

so this is debatable but solomon's a top.

this man literally has pacts with 72 demons, he must feel somehow powerful with all of them, so being in a power is probably something he can't give up anywhere

even though i can imagine that he's usually not that horny, if he has a crush on someone it would probably creep up in the back of his mind

just small things that you'd do would be enough to make him think about it, like going through your hair or looking frustrated at your homework

he'd try to quickly forget about him, but the bigger the crush gets, the more he thinks about you

when you get together though, he doesn't try to throw away his thoughts that easily – after all, they could become reality now

there's probably lots of discussion where to meet, since the house of lamentation is pretty full, while simeon would be in the purgatory hall judging

the purgatory hall is the better option anyway

likes the idea of acting like you're having a pact with him, so you'd give him a love bite

"so, that means you're mine now, right?"

honestly loves love bites or kissing in general

prefers giving love bites if your reaction to them satisfies him

just like any other time, he likes to tease you, so expect a long make out session with lots of touching

probably whispers a lot in your ear about what he wants to do with you and gets even more turned on if you're flustered

more of the seductive smirking kind who loves to see you whimper under his touch

if you tangle your finger in his hair or hold onto his back, maybe even pulling him closer, he's going to get impatient

the type to have a firm grip on you, but is slow to make you crave more

he's not going to let you hide your moans, even if everyone can hear them, so be prepared to have him hold your wrists tight

provocative, but won't do anything that'll make you uncomfortable

loves to be hovering over you, but he just wants to be able to see your face

always wants to see how much he can turn you on just by his words

praises you a lot, focuses on teasing you though because he likes having this power over you

doesn't like to tell you except for when he's really turned on but he'd melt if you'd go down on him

would grab your hair and compliment you a lot, he'd try to stay gentle but having you on your knees for him would make him even harder

if you'd tease him about his low moans afterwards, he'd make you regret it

after this planned "study session", expect him to fall asleep quickly with him holding you close and his silver hair all messy

maybe then a "i love you" would slip out again

and then prepare for simeon's judgement

god fuCKNNNN... DAMMIT this turned out worse and more generic than i thought and im so sorry i will disappear into the void ! can't even say things like .... s...sex..., im sorry for all my fellow solomon lovers :(

but at least im playing minecraft again ! my name is cherryria and my skin is heart attack chuu!!

#obey me #obey me!#obey me solomon #obey me headcanon #obey me smut #obey me solomon x reader #obey me solomon x mc

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need-a-new-hobby · 4 years

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dead man’s party

s1 e03

‘how can shadowhunters be better than what you call mundanes?’ well, the leather jackets and badass tattoos for one thing.

‘kay, clary kinda does have a right to be salty right now, but i gotta defend izzy. she left simon in the van to protect him. bringing a mundane into a fight would have been worse. but alec’s response to her salt is so funny

‘there is some truth to the idea that human beings should have a modicum of common sense.’ this is so in character with him, but seriously he could have a little compassion for the guy abducted by vamps

i don’t like clary’s salt anymore. i dunno how to explain it but she’s very hyper. (see ‘oh but there’s like this magic cup i hid on the planet bongo)

‘i can’t turn into what you are overnight’ the first correct thing she’s said all day, well all night really, but who cares? in this universe it’s day for like 5 minutes

alec just wants the mundanes out of his institute right now. ‘what are you, her spokesman now?’. i don’t envy his position, all he wants to do is just report back to the clave so they’re safe from scrutiny. he still hasn’t reported any of this.

RAPHAEL!!!! sorry, i get very excited but s1 raphael doesn’t live up to expectations (possibly cause he dead)

‘kay, i know clary wants to find simon asap but she can’t run into things head-first without a plan (which she keeps doing throughout the show). and if anyone really needs to know why i prefer alec, it’s cause he’s so level-headed, though to be fair, it’s not his best friend that’s been kidnapped.

‘right, seelies have their charms apparently.’ cue jace’s stupid grin. ‘izzy can tell you about them, she’s got a thing.’

raphael has had simon for 10 minutes and he’s already 100% done with him. ‘i really hate fidgeting.’ what would raphael look like with squirrels?

‘kay first point, did simon just throw a knife perfectly right into raphael’s chest? second, has this kid not watched vampire movies?

aight, camille is super creepy but her lines are gold. ‘how sweet. you’re bleeding.’ WHO COMES UP WITH THIS STUFF?!?

‘typical mundane failure of imagination’ hahaha, s1 alec is so salty. where’s magnus, alec needs to light up?

izzy’s so done with her brother being miserable and i love it.

oooh, alec got in trouble with jace.

‘kay, this episode kinda sets the tone for the rest of the season, especially with clace. i mean most of this season is just alec and izzy doing their jobs and jace ‘being there’ for clary. literally every 10 minutes, clary pulls jace from her job to talk about how miserable her life is becoming. whiny clary is boring and annoying

wooah. ‘are you so desperate to get laid that you’d risk killing us?’ yikes, alec, even i know that was a low blow.

‘beloved servant? who puts that on a headstone?’ - yeah, clary wouldn’t know anything about serving others.

‘don’t touch that, you don’t know how to use it’. haha, that sounds like something i’d say to my brother if he tried to use the electric whisk.

‘what, like in pandemonium, when i killed that demon?’ technically you held a sword and freaked out when jace shoved the demon into it.

first thing i noticed was alec’s dialogue is super clipped. i replayed the scene a couple times and you can kinda tell that alec’s really resigned to helping clary, probably because he knows it’s only gonna get them into trouble.

okay, jace training clary is giving me pain. its so cliched ugh

also is using a sword really that complicated?

‘could i even do this without you?’ jesus clary, you’re just waving a glowing sword and if she’s friends with simon, chances are she’s watched star wars. personally, i played with mock swords all the time as a kid. it ain’t that hard. but that might just be me.

‘alec doesn’t like anybody’. for the record, that’s true. i’m not sure where, but in the books, cc kinda mentions that alec doesn’t really like people, they just annoy him until they don’t, which is what happened with clary and jace (although personally, idk why she doesn’t annoy him anymore). the cutest thing though is that magnus never annoyed him. so technically, he likes magnus, ‘cept he hasn’t met magnus, yet...

‘why would he help me?’ who’s gonna tell her?

‘there’s no human bond that compares to what alec and i have.’ clary proceeds to compare that bond to her and simon. though, technically in the books, they become parabatai, but that whole plot-line is non-existent in the tv show since simon never becomes a shadowhunter.

simon apologising for trying to murder raphael is really funny

haha, subtlety is not alec’s best asset. no-one would doubt the acting head of the institute if he didn’t look so damn shifty. also, why not just grab the arrows and start runing them literally anywhere else?

hold on, clary can see jace even though he’s using a glamour but not the vampires?

noooo, simon, not camille ugh. watching camille and simon is painful.

again, alec with the unsubtlety. for someone so used to being responsible for jace’s misdemeanours, you’d think he’d be able to lie better. also for someone who’s meant to be like family, no-one seems to really care about hodge’s punishment rune literally scorching him. alec kinda just looks like the guy deserves it (which he does.)

omg, now he’s antagonising jace and alec’s relationship? bold move. also hodge slapping alec’s neck sounds so painful. like you can literally hear the slaps. but also, i feel like hodge does poke at a very central aspect of alec’s relationship with jace. alec’s always been responsible for his siblings and i can’t blame him if he’s frustrated by it. jace and izzy constantly get to do whatever they want, damn the consequences. except the consequences always seem to damn him, not the others.

how is it that jace can ride a motorbike, but can’t drive a car? i’d assume motorcycles are harder to ride than a van?

again, the soundtrack is flawless and ruelle is a goddess; the song for when they’re on the flying bike is invincible by ruelle

hahah, alec’s little ‘okay’ is slaying me. ‘great job izzy. you have fairy dust on your dress. and i hate being the distraction.’ cue dreamy sighing at grumpy lightwood.

also i love when emeraude toubia’s voice has that accent but the way she says frigging with the accent, chills.

they keep cutting to simon and camille making out, and i don’t wike it. it is gross and creepy. also her neck is bleeding and i’m very unhappy as to where this is going.

i have to admit, it’s surprising how well clary takes to the runes considering jace is literally burning her skin. although, at a certain point, if the heat is high enough, it just feels numb, or cold even. anyway, just to point out that in the books clary doesn’t get any runes until the city of glass. guess that’s impractical for the tv show.

surprise surprise, clary’s ‘not your typical girl’ and doesn’t see the romance in vampires. although it’s not really vampires as much as robert pattinson and i was always a jacob gal. i haven’t really watched all the movies though so don’t @ me, i don’t know enough. on top of that, it’s hard not to see clary as a sort of bella swan. having to deal with a love triangle between a childhood friend and a tall blond stranger and being practically useless in battle, even after she becomes a vamp. nope, no similarity whatsoever.

oh noooo, jace has never been in love. reeally heart-wrenching huh. and it’s not like clary has either. in the books, jace is like her first boyfriend, other than simon but we don’t talk about the disaster that is climon here. call me cynical but falling in love isn’t really that big a deal anyway. a lot of the time it’s just sexual attraction and i really don’t see the fuss. i dunno how to phrase it but clary feeling pity for a loveless jace is kinda icky.

haha, he doesn’t understand friendship? what’s alec, a distant cousin? cue her comparison of having a parabatai and having a best friend (see ‘there’s no human bond that compares to what alec and i have.’) and besides, you don’t know you’ll die for each other until you actually do. alec would actually die for jace and you see it multiple times throughout the show and vice versa.

i’m assuming the seraph blade works a lot like a normal sword in which case, again, i think he’s exaggerating the trick bits of it. but again, i grew up playing with pretend swords so....

i love how izzy talks about alec’s feelings while they’re trying to find vampires to distract. a lot of people tend to see this as a complete flip of normal priorities, but casual banter during what would normally be a very stressful situation is really important for me, personally. you finally get to see how izzy, alec and jace have grown up in situations like this, where they don’t know if they’re gonna make it to the next day. and yet they’re talking about their feelings. aaah im overanalysing again. sorry.

again with the banter! i love it. ‘whoever said the pen was mightier than the sword was an idiot.’ ‘when you’re right, you’re right.’ i love one pair of lightwood siblings

izzy looks way too excited to be killing vampires

ALEC WITH A BOW!!!! I LOVE MY ARCHER BOY 😍😍😍

also kudos to whoever came up with the idea of a whip as a bracelet

alec looks so happy with his arrows. aaaaaaaaaa!

okay, i love how clary kicks that vamp in the balls, but why doesn’t she just stab him? and why doesn’t she have her blade out yet? jace has to literally remind her, ‘hey you have a glowy sword in your back pocket’. this matchstick irritates me so much.

my archer boy has returned. am i the only one who thinks he was tempted to just shoot through clary? maybe it’s just me. also, you have to commend how alec thinks on his feet. i mean who’d have thought to nail an arrow through the wall to kill that vamp.

‘i killed him.’ ‘he was already dead.’ THAT’S STILL MURDER JACE! that’s what i don’t like about the shadow hunters, and it’s not just jace too. they all think that downworlders are somehow lesser beings because of their blood, but im guessing that most of them didn’t ask to be vamps or werewolves or warlocks and most shadowhunters (i.e. jace) were brought up to believe that blood somehow makes you a lesser being. that’s what i hate about shadow hunter society. but clary? she just falls into the same beliefs despite her father figure being a werewolf and her best friend being a vampire. she’s introduced to this world of angels and demons, she sees the discrimination that occurs and is silent about it, until simon becomes a vamp. reason #14 as to why i dislike clary

im sorry, but i laughed so hard when clary said, ‘thanks, but it’s not about me.’ for the record, alec had to save her from that vampire and the second one had already been punched to the floor by jace. also my tol bean is just standing in the back, waiting for this shitstorm of a mission to be over.

simon keeps punching the wrong people man. stop messing with raphael. also i love how raphael keeps thinking of the long game. camille is going to endanger the whole clan with the way she keeps breaking the accords and antagonising the clave. for non-book stans, raphael doesn’t particularly care about...well, anyone. except his clan. he cares about his own vampires, protects them like they’re his family and that’s only part of the reason why i love raph. the other reason is that his annoyance with other people is really funny for me.

i know the scene of the 3.5 shadowhunters walking in sync is meant to be like this cool badass scene, but i can’t help laughing at how they’re all dressed in black and izzy’s in this hot pink mini dress. we stan one queen.

watching climon is physically painful for me. i hate unreciprocated love.

watching jace and alec fight is physically painful for me. i hate family conflict

izzy just walks away, which is such a youngest sibling thing to do.

‘i’m older than you jace. i’m not in your shadow.’ aaaaaaaaaa my baby, noooo

‘if you really feel that way about her, why’d you help us tonight?’ JACE, YOU ACTUAL MORON. now that that’s out of my system, he is such a moron. first of all, if that mission went south, that would all have been on alec. this episode actually had me start disliking jace. in his race to help clary, he’s undervaluing the role alec plays in saving their asses. sure, alec’s not the strongest, or the fastest, or the fiercest. but when the clave comes down to rip them a new one, jace can’t save them. shadowhunters, just like police officers, have to follow the law. they have to think objectively and so far, alec’s the only one who’s been doing that. jace can fight vampires and demons all day, but he can’t fight the clave.

well, that episode was a hot mess. numero 4 coming up soon.

#shadowhunters #tsc #alec lightwood #alec #jace wayland #jace #izzy #isabelle lightwood #clary #clary fray #clary fairchild #anti clary fray #anti clary fairchild #anti clary #anti jace

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aaronhart93 · 3 years

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after work || zara & aaron

Discord text thread featuring: Aaron & @x-heartbreaker

When: early morning March 11, 2020

Mentions: -

Description: Aaron takes Zara home after he finds her getting attacked outside of work

Trigger Warnings: injuries, assault, stalker/pervy dude

Zara

In the early morning hours, Zara’s shift is finally over. She’s been back and forth between serving in the vip section and bar tending, depending on what’s available on any given day, she picks up as many shifts as humanly possible. That leaves her tired but she continues to push through it. Tonight in the vip section, Ryan is present, just like most nights she’s working there. He’s not someone Zara would have looked twice at but she learned his name early on, as part of the customer experience really, she learned it made her better tips. It’s another night of turning down his advances but smiling through it like the trooper she is. When she cleans up her section and closes down for the night, she’s relieved that she isn’t required to smile anymore and she heads down to wait for her cab home. That’s when he appears again, offering her a ride home, which she politely declines. Before she can even turn her attention back to the street, her body is nearly thrown against the side brick wall of the building in the alleyway between the club and the building next door. The impact of her back hitting the wall and of his body pressing into hers knocks the breath out of her. When she regains her senses her hands are pinned above her head and all she can smell is the alcohol of his breath while his mouth is on her neck. Why isn’t her adrenaline kicking in, it’s like she’s frozen. His other hand his unbuttoning his pants but Zara is busy turning her head away to avoid his mouth getting anywhere near hers. “Get off of me!”

Aaron.

Aaron wasn’t typically at his bars like this so late. He had people for that, and he was already busy enough during the week. He needed to sleep at some point. There were a lot of assumptions about Aaron — some true, some not so true. But no one could say that he didn’t work hard. Tonight, he was entertaining some high profile people and wanted to make sure that everything went smoothly. He introduced himself, and even had a couple of drinks with the group. On the house, of course. Aaron knew that if he charmed the pants off of these people that it would be great for business. When the group finally left, Aaron decided to make his exit and head home to his kid and partners. He looked at the time. It was 4am and he certainly wasn’t sober enough to get in his car and drive himself back to the pent. He needed to just stop driving in the city in general...but he just loved his car. He called for his car service as he made his way out of the back entrance. He shoved his hands in his designer coat then heard someone scream. He turned towards the back alley when he saw one of his staff members being attacked by a patron. “Shit.” He mumbled to himself before making a split second decision to run up to the pair to pull the male off of Zara. He grabbed his clothing by the shoulder and socked him in the face which made him fall to the ground. “Fuck. Are you okay?”

Zara

There isn’t much that surprises Zara these days, not after what she’s been through in the foster system, but somehow this has caught her off guard. She never would have expected that this guy would even have enough balls to try something like this. Is that why somehow she couldn’t fight back? She was already looking for a reason to blame herself, as she always did. Soon the pressure of his body is a weight lifted off of hers and it’s only then that she’s able to try and catch her breath. The throbbing pain in the back of her head is kicking in and she knows there’s got to be some damage there from the force of it hitting the bricks but she isn’t prepared to feel it yet. Immediately she recognizes Aaron and is flooded with embarrassment. “I....” she can’t lie just yet and say that she’s fine but she also doesn’t want to speak not being fine into reality. “Thanks.”

Aaron.

his attention shifted from Zara to the man who was now rolling on the ground beneath him. Aaron delivered a kick to his stomach. Just for good measure. He didn’t really need to hit him again. He just wanted to make sure that he got the message. Don’t fuck with Aaron Hart and the people he cares about. Not to mention, the alcohol running through him made him think he was tougher than he actually was. He physically put himself in front of Zara and the man, who was a regular at the club and whom Aaron was sure never to allow back again. “You fucked up, man. Get lost.” He told him sternly, which must have prompted him to get up off onto his feet and scurry off. The businessman finally turned back to the woman. He wasn’t sure if he should touch her or what? Did she want a hug? A comforting hand on her shoulder? “What a dick.” Aaron looked at her nervously. She seemed....almost frozen. He took his jacket off and offered it to her, holding it out so that he could help her get into it. “Should we get you checked out? My driver can take us to the hospital.” He suggested.

Zara

this entire situation felt like more of an outer body experience than anything. it was almost like she was standing outside of her body and watching it happen without being able to stop it. she winced hearing the contact of Aaron's foot with the mans stomach, not that she didn't think it was deserved. And when he was eventually struggling to stand, the brunette still clenched her eyes shut almost just waiting for what could possibly come next. Thankfully it was retreating footsteps. Eventually she opened her eyes again, reminding herself to breathe. "im sorry i didn't mean to cause a scene." it took her a moment but she slid the jacket over her shoulders, the fact that she was physically shaking not even apparent in her mind. "ill be fine" hospital bills were not something she could even think about right now. "are you ok?"

Aaron.

Aaron was genuinely confused as to how and why Zara thought that she needed to apologize. She was the one being attacked after all. If anything, Aaron should have been sorry for not having some established safety precautions for the staff members getting out of work extra late. He’d need to work on that. It was number one on his to do list this upcoming week. “I’m fine.” He insisted, shaking his head. The adrenaline was actually still pumping through him. He wasn’t even cold without his coat. “And don’t be sorry. I promise that nothing like that is going to happen again. Okay?” He promised the other. He was confused as to why she didn’t want to go get checked out. Was it the money? Or did she not want to spend all night in the ER? “Can I are least call my doctor so he can talk to you to make sure you don’t need to be seen?” He suggested as he got a notification telling him that his ride was parked by the back door. “Let me take you home at least.” He practically pleaded with her.

Zara

The look on his face was telling her that she wasn't saying the right thing, but her mind felt like it was in so many places, yet blank all at once. She was lucky if she could even form a coherent sentence. Didn't she have mace in her purse just for this reason? Zara glanced down at her purse that was still zipped so that didn't do her any good, did it? Even though she was prepared, clearly she wasn't. And now that's boggling her mind. She didn't feel like herself. She could have done better, no doubt. She'd kicked plenty of ass in the past, what happened this time? Shaking her head she looked at him, she knew he was speaking but she hardly listened, so she just agreed when she heard the okay "okay." Reaching up she felt the back of her head, "it's just a bump." except that when she moved her hand, there was very clearly blood on her fingers that she wiped on the dark material of her black skirt. "okay. i guess i didn't have much luck getting a cab..."

Aaron.

"Okay." Aaron nodded once, relieved that she had at least agreed to let Aaron take her home. He was kicking himself for letting this happen to any employee. Maybe if he were paying better attention than this wouldn't have happened. The businessman lead Zara into the car, opening the door for her to let her crawl in first. Once he was in the car, he got on the phone with a doctor. That was the best thing about being rich - your staff was on call for you literally 24/7 because that's what they were paid to do. Zara's apartment wasn't far. Good thing because Aaron was getting nervous; she needed to get ice on the bump as soon as possible. "Do you want me to come up with you? Make sure you get settled okay." He asked, once the driver pulled over to the side. He didn't want to just assume, but he wanted to make sure that Zara got inside okay.February 27, 2021

ZaraBOT — 02/27/2021

shocked is still not an accurate depiction of what Zara felt. She’s mad at herself for not seeing this coming and not being more prepared. Why hadn’t she said anything sooner when she noticed this guy in almost every place she was, work and out of work. The next thing on her mind was the fear that this might not be the last she saw of him. But beyond that once in the car she was glad to be sitting down, Zara didn’t realize her legs were shaking. On top of that her head was throbbing but before she knew it they were in front of her shabby apartment building. “If you want to, I’m sure I’ll be ok,” though her voice didn’t sound sure. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the help but her shithole apartment was also kind of an embarrassment. Her entire apartment could probably fit in his one bathroom.

Aaron.

The businessman was unsure how to respond to this. He was a guy, and she'd just been attacked by one. Should he have called one of her friends to get her or something? Aaron could see that Zara was visible upset and shaken up. Should he hold her? He was no equipped for this. The millionaire got out of the car and opened the door for her to let her out. "I could walk you up? I won't come in if you don't want me to...I just want to make sure you get up there okay." He suggested, putting a hand on her shoulder without even realizing it and guiding her slowly towards the front doors of her apartment building.

#discord #zara #tw: stalker #tw: assault

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halorocks1214 · 4 years

Text

ბარტერი (a Thunderbirds fic)

Chapter 2: უბედურება

AO3 Link

Word Count: 2368

Summary: And here they thought getting their father back was the least of their worries.

Chapter 1 | [YOU ARE HERE]

I BE ALIVE. BARELY. BUT I AM ALIVE. my motivation levels are still dead to hell and back, especially for my other Big Fics atm, but my brain decided to hardwire itself all of a sudden for this one and i was able to squirm something out. no promises for consistent uploads just yet because A.) aforementioned “dead inside” ness and B.) college is starting in two weeks and im Very Excite!!!! hope you enjoy this update regardless!

warnings for VERY UNCOMFORTABLENESS. unconsensual/creepy sexual comments and actions are made and boy were they hard to write (sorry Al). also violence violence violence, but hopefully angery older brother makes up for it

He hated it he hated it he hated it hated it he hated it--

Okay, Alan hated a lot of things about this moment right now, so he should probably be more specific. He hated those men, he hated leaving Gordon, he hated how his lungs were trying to heave themselves out of his chest with the way he was running, he hated how there were so many obstacles in his path that it was slowing him down, he hated how he was effectively alone--

Wait, no he wasn’t, the comms! He never turned them back on! No wonder John always told him not to panic, it made him do stupid stuff like that! Not breaking his stride, Alan pulled up his wrist and tried doing just that, but before he could even squeak, a hand came around to the front of his face, essentially muffling him and holding him in one spot.

Okay now this was just straight awful. Bringing his hands up to try and get the stranger’s singular one off his face, Alan bucked and kicked his legs around like a cornered horse, anything to break free from this terrible grip. Jesus, wasn’t this man the smaller one? And he was still able to pick Alan straight up off the ground?! Just what do these guys eat?

Gross and creepy chuckling filled Alan’s ear, somewhat freezing his attempts at escaping. He was still struggling and twitching, but for some reason, his dumb brain was trying to get him to hear whatever this man was going to say, “Ooh, you’re quite the squirmer, aren’t ya? I suppose that’s not a bad thing with those freckles and all. Quite a few clients dig the young thing. The baby fat’s a nice touch, too.” As if those words could be any worse, the man used his free hand to pinch Alan’s cheek right after he finished talking.

Alan keened. He knew his whining was high pitched to begin with, but the noises that came from his mouth were on some kind of level only dogs could hear. Tears started pouring out of his eyes like molten lava, meanwhile, his incessant kicking started up again. This time, it got somewhat literal and kicked up a few notches. Swivels started being involved, and amidst his panic, Alan found it in his brain to try and aim his feet. Any hit landing would be stellar.

But as the Tracy Family Luck would have it, nothing seemed to be working. It didn’t help that the man’s creepy chuckles just seemed to get louder as more time went on. For a split second, Alan felt the man move about an inch as if he were about to drag Alan away to whatever torturous situation he had dreamed up for the blonde. Alan wasn’t aware hope could die in the blink of an eye like that.

But then they both stopped simultaneously.

The rather loud snapping of a tree branch from a few feet away made both men swivel their heads in the direction of the noise. Alan was shocked by how much he could turn with how his neck was essentially trapped.

Alan felt both relief and anxiety wash over him because that was Virgil coming through the bushes to see what exactly his youngest brother had been getting up to. But that’s also where the anxiety was coming from as well. There were very few ways this was ending, and even less of those endings didn’t involve blood.

“Alright, the two of you have been completely dead on the comms for the past 10 minutes and I don’t know which older person in our family I want to deal with less at the moment. You better have a good expla--”

Virgil looked up from watching his steps to see that it very much wasn’t Gordon with their baby brother. It was a random man, which his in-the-middle-of-a-job brain was going to write off as a person Alan saved while Gordon went off to save others, but then he blinked once. Then twice. Then he had to fight the urge to rub his eyes with fists like a scene from a cartoon because he had to let go and realize that yup, what he was seeing was real.

And he fucking despised it.

Because this random, strange man was holding Alan as if his kid bro were random cargo and not a person. His big, sweaty hand wrapped around Alan’s mouth wouldn’t be as incriminating (and it already was a thousand times) if Alan didn’t have giant, blatant tear tracks running down over them. Meaning the hand was there before Alan started crying. Meaning this man was the cause of his brother’s distress.

Virgil’s pupils shrunk (man, that’s a reoccurring theme tonight), and while Alan was scared before, right now, he was terrified.

The floodgates were opened, and Alan was hoping that the damage the metaphorical water created wouldn’t be anything close to the mess the literal tsunami they were cleaning up caused.

---

Virgil was the least violent person in their family.

That’s not to say his thoughts weren’t. Believe him, if you pissed him off the right way he could come up with some pretty beautiful imagery as a form of therapy, but what made him different is that he channeled that anger into something productive and helpful. He didn’t quietly carry out revenge plots like John or threw punches like Scott.

But right now, any kind of breathing exercise was out the door the minute his brain registered the scene. The way the man was gleaming at his brother like he was freshly cut meat was sickening and Virgil was literally willing to resort to a bloody killing to make it stop. What filled him wasn’t anger, nor was it fiery rage.

No, it was red hot, animalistic fury and God help the person who was able to make Virgil come even close to that.

It must have somehow displayed itself. Maybe it was the way Virgil’s eyes zoned in on the man, maybe it was his fists clenching so hard his fingers might break, maybe it was the way his breathing became ragged and dangerous, maybe it was Virgil’s sheer size alone; whatever it was, it made the man’s giddy look drop off his face at the speed of light into pure, unbridled terror.

Good, now he saw how Alan was feeling.

As soon as Virgil saw the man release his hold on Alan to try and run, the middle Tracy moved.

The man wanted to leave very suddenly, huge money-load or not. Sure, it would be a big loss to let go of such a highly well-known person (one that was so young too), but if it meant he wouldn’t be folded in a way that was akin to an origami project, then the man was willing to drop everything and run. He let go of the target, turned around and took about 2 and a half steps before--

The man yelped as he felt himself be grabbed and aggressively shoved into a tree, head bouncing off of it because of momentum. With a groan, he opened his eyes and cried out in fear. Right in front of him was that other IR member. The giant one with muscles as big as steel and probably has the ability to bench press a small herd of bison. He couldn’t help the trembles that were overtaking him, and he was hoping he would at least be alive long enough to go change into a new pair of pants.

“What,” the IR member growled out, “the hell, do you think you’re doing?”

His sputters were weak and laughable, but maybe they would convince the IR member to take pity, “W-W-What? C’ mon, man, I know it looks bad, and yeah, m-maybe you’re coworkers, but, like, als-so relent a little b-bit. He’s cute, n-no?”

A millisecond of silence. Suddenly, Virgil pushed his arms into the man even more, dangerously close to ‘be careful, he might not be able to breathe’ territory, “You’re sick.”

The man, in all of his panicked glory, felt the blood rush to his head and greatly affect his mouth. He was never good at tact, “H-Hey! Don’t kn-knock it till you t-try it.”

Before Virgil could even start to think, his fist moved and collided directly in the man’s face and nose. He's sparred with Kayo. He knew how to hurt. With a step backward, he watched with satisfaction as the man, who was now out cold, slid uncomfortably down the tree. The sight put a grin on Virgil’s face. It was the least he deserved: a crick in his neck.

Now then, this man clearly couldn’t be left to just wake up and go home. He was a menace, and Virgil would hate himself for leaving such a dangerous thing on the streets. The only problem the Tracy couldn’t figure out was that he wasn’t sure where he would put him on ‘Two. It wasn’t anywhere near his brothers, that’s for sure. As Virgil pulled out some spare rope he managed to just have on him (thank God for small coincidences), his mind gleefully became playful. Yes, the roof of his girl would be a fitting seat for his kind. Right as he finished tying one of the strongest knots he knew, he heard a small, quiet, and scared voice speak up from a few feet away.

“Is he, uh, going to wake up soon?”

Oh fuck. Well, any anger or rage left his body like a gust of wind.

Letting the man’s tied up hands fall from his grasp, Virgil snapped his head up to look directly at Alan as if his younger brother caught Virgil with his hand in the cookie jar. ‘Deer in the headlights’ was a good way of describing Virgil, actually. His eyes were wide and his pupils were small once more, but that was because he was suddenly panicking over what exactly all of this entailed.

Because Alan was as far away as he could be from the man but close enough to be able to see Virgil and what the brother was doing to said stranger. Alan was desperately trying to seem like he was holding it together, but the way he held his arms around himself, and the thin sheen of sweat covering his face, Virgil thought he wasn’t succeeding as much as he wanted. A little bit of color had returned, at least, it looked like that, compared to how Alan was when he was being held by his captor. Not to mention the now-drying tear tracks...

Was that Virgil’s breath that was extremely heavy and labored? You know, maybe he should stop doing that. Taking a deep breath, Virgil stood up one knee at a time and carefully walked over to his younger brother. It broke his heart to see how Alan tensed up, so Virgil slowed his strides and re-thought out his plan for when he got close enough to touch his younger brother.

About a foot away from Alan, Virgil held his hands up like he was coaching a frightened animal, staring into those gigantic baby blue eyes as if this were ten years ago and Virgil was comforting a brother that just had a nightmare, not a brother that was nearly… God, he doesn’t even want to think that thought to himself, “Hey. Are you okay? Are you hurt anywhere?”

Keep it specific, give the shock victim something to focus on. Alan took a moment to register Virgil’s words before taking a deep breath and relaxing ever so slightly, “N-No, he just… startled me. I’ve never…” Alan closed his eyes and shuddered, the awful memory from just minutes ago washing over him like toxic waste.

Virgil’s hesitation was next to none as he stepped forward and practically engulfed his brother in his large frame. If not for Alan, at least for himself, because his own shock was just about kicking in, adrenaline wearing off at the speed of ‘One. Jesus, that was close. Jesus, that was close. If Virgil hadn’t shown up at that moment, just a few seconds later…

After a moment of flinching (that Virgil didn’t notice, thank God), Alan eventually melted into his Virgil’s embrace wholeheartedly. Part of him was still tense, his body still not completely sure that the danger was gone, but boy did that not matter while his older brother was here. Heh, older brothers, Scott was going to freak about this, John probably wouldn’t be much better…

Oh, oh shit-

Virgil couldn’t stop the eyebrow raise, followed by his utter surprise when Alan suddenly shot out of his arms and started waving his own almost like a drowning man would. Virgil was very concerned over why Alan was getting worked up again, but before he could even say ‘what’ in ‘what’s wrong’, Alan practically read his mind.

“Gordon! Virge, oh my God, they have Gor-”

There wasn’t much explanation needed after that.

Except there was a little bit, mainly for Virgil’s sake. Alan’s panic was overtaking a lot of his common sense, and the last thing Virgil was going to let happen was Alan getting near any of these people, not even with 10 feet between them. So with Alan’s promise that he won’t leave Virgil’s side at all, no more than a foot at most, they both hoofed it back to where Alan last saw Gordon.

Virgil was about to put a leash on the kid with how much he was jumping out of his skin, but eventually, they were there, and Virgil regrets his whole just because you left Gordon doesn’t mean he was taken speech he gave to consol Alan, because the spot he led them to had nothing but a semi-ripped up, familiar yellow sash on the ground.

Alan’s grip on Virgil’s arm was better than a tourniquet they’ve ever used. At least Virgil won’t have to worry about him running off anymore.

Lifting his wrist so he could contact everyone else, Virgil could feel the blood drain from his face just like Alan’s.

“International Rescue, we… shit, John, we’ve gotta big problem.”

#thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds fanfiction #alan tracy #virgil tracy #my post #my fic

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tadakixd-blog · 7 years

Text

Sendai Monument Ceremony Part 2

Sorry for the delay, I’ve finally managed to finish the rest of the interview! This one has a little more of Yuzu in it, and features questions from the audience! Many thanks to @raomina for the awesome beta and encouragement, who also helped with the formatting and everything else I failed at XD

Yuzu: It’s amazing, really. (To Shizuka) You can see, right, when you’re doing it (the layback)?

Shizuka: Yes, I can. Oh you can’t see?

Yuzu: I-I can see but, my, my eyes don’t open that much like that.

Shizuka: I can see everyone’s faces upside down, in that instant.

Finished translation under the cut! // See Part 1

Again, you can follow along with this video

youtube

Video Courtesy of M M on YT

Start @ 19:14

[19:14]

[Context: Part 1 ended with them talking about Sochi Olympics.]

Yama: After the free program, you didn't seem to be very satisfied.

Yuzu: Yea well, at that time I already thought "ahh that's the end of the gold medal". That's how close the fight had always been between me and Patrick, and more than anything, it was precisely because he was skating right after me that I thought "ah with this, I've lost the gold medal".

Yama: And when the results came out?

Yuzu: I was simply just surprised.

Yama: Surprised?

Yuzu: Yes. Well, somehow, with regards to my own program content, I had finished in such a way that was so unfulfilling that being happy, the happiness of winning, was just completely non-existent. And it was precisely because of that, that I simply just felt surprised. Mm... yes well, at an interview right after the Olympics, immediately replying "I feel regret and frustration" was the only thing I could really say.

Yama: Arakawa, you were watching from a location close to them, weren't you?

Shizuka: Yes.

Yama: So therefore, the time in between the SP and the FP, when that had started, when the first jump was landed, what kind of feelings did you have while watching things like that? With regards to Hanyu.

Shizuka: Yes well um...I think it's the same for Hanyu but, when the last group at the Olympics comes out, with all the skaters who are contenders for the podium, when that moment happens, the anxiety level increases all of a sudden. When I was there - I don't know (if this really was the case) but, I was watching like this from the side. The skaters in the last group, who could be said to have a gold medal riding on their performances... every one of these skaters’ movements were different from their usual and seeing that I thought, this will be a fight to see who amongst these skaters can perform the most like their usual selves. Because every skater is really under the same conditions, and so the narrower the margin is (between the skaters scores), the stronger the intention to aim higher becomes. Well, in any case, the level of anxiety during the last group was really incredible.

And so um, during Hanyu’s performance as well, even for the viewers it was nerve-wrecking. (the other two laugh) Hearing him talk about his frustration and regret immediately after that - that’s something I can understand. As expected, as a skater, you’d want to skate like yourself during the real thing. So, not being able to skate like yourself is part of the difficulty of the Olympics (t/n: literally: not being allowed to skate like yourself because of the difficulty of the Olympics - the choice of phrasing emphasizes just how much the Olympics affect the skaters) and it’s something that I’ve seen many times, even up to the current Olympics. Really, the people who usually don’t make mistakes end up making mistakes and things that you’ve been able to do easily many times before somehow become difficult; you don’t know what’s normal anymore - that’s what I think the Olympics is.

[21:42]

Yama: And Hanyu, in the recent World Championships...

Yuzu: Yes.

Yama: You were, when the SP had ended, you were in 5th place. (Yuzu nods) “This person is in 5th place, waaah this is tough!” - that’s what many would’ve thought. What did you think? (t/n: the word used is komaru, which has many meanings but in this context refers to being in a difficult situation and feeling troubled by it, and also carries the idea of “what should I do?”)

Yuzu: I was troubled by it.

Yama: You were??

Yuzu: Yes I was.

Yama: But 10 points… with just one jump you could change that - didn’t you feel that way?

Yuzu: No I didn’t. To be honest… well it’s true that the 10 point difference after the SP, to gain that back in the FP is not really, to put it bluntly, it’s not difficult. But, when you’re talking about a high level competition, it really is quite difficult (to make up for) a 10 point difference. And for me, well, um..this whole season I hadn’t been able to do a clean FP performance. If you were going to pick one (i.e. between the FP and SP), there were more competitions where I had somehow managed to win because of my SP scores (than because of my FP), so I was really pretty depressed. On a psychological level (t/n: the word used is seishin, which refers to the heart/mind/soul), I was hit pretty hard.

Yama: But that score and that enjoyment (of watching), somehow it had an explosive quality to it didn’t it? (An almost) physical sensation (of the explosion).

Yuzu: Mmm……..weeellll….it exploded just right (t/n: you can see he really doesn’t agree with that description in how he drags and hums, and in the last sentence his word choice indicates that he didn’t create the explosion, rather, the explosion somehow happened for him on its own)

Yama: As expected (of Yuzuru).

(everyone laughs and applauds, to which he does a little bow)

[22:54]

Yama: Ah, um, with the two of you, just for a bit, I’d like to reminisce about Sendai a little. Arakawa, how has it been? Did returning to Sendai stir up any memories, or when leaving Sendai what makes you think “ah that’s (better in) Sendai”

Shizuka: It’s the food after all.

Yama: The food?

Shizuka: It’s delicious.

Yama: We’re suddenly talking about food?

Shizuka: Yes. When I was living here, I didn’t really have many chances to eat out, so I grew up imagining the taste of home-cooked food more than the goodness of Sendai’s food. Or rather, I should say I was brought up with the taste of home-cooked food. Having said that, after becoming an adult (she starts to smile here) and returning back to Sendai, after going to different restaurants here and there, no matter where I go or what I eat, everything is delicious. That’s what I think. Whereas (when I go to) other places, I think “I can’t experience (t/n: literally, taste) these emotions”, and that’s because I went out into the world (t/n: this refers to anywhere out of Sendai, including other parts of Japan) with a tongue that was, after all, trained in Sendai. And when I left, (I thought) for the first time - because I had grown up thinking (that the taste of food in Sendai) was the norm - when I left Sendai, I learned for the first time just how high the quality of food in Sendai is. And since then, I always return here looking forward to eating.

Yama: Considering that (you like to eat) you’ve not put on weight at all!

Shizuka: Yes…...you’re right…. (Yuzu nods vigorously in the background) Up until the first half of my 20s everything I ate went to nourishing my body….but as I age…

Yama: As you age... (t/n: she says this like she’s very old, so he’s repeating this with a sense of disbelief since he’s a lot older than her)

Shizuka: (laughs and continues)....it’s not nourishing my body anymore.

Yama: So foods, if you talk about Sendai, during my time at least, (it was things like) Monaka or bars or things like that. Now it’s beef tongue and such, there are many tasty things now.

Shizuka: Yes there are.

[picture of beef tongue on video]

Shizuka: There are sweet things and sour things, many different types. The picture appeared so suddenly it gave me a shock! (everyone laughs) I ate this the day before yesterday.

Yama: I see. They have this at Tokyo train station too but Sendai’s beef tongue is reeeally good isn’t it?

Shizuka: Tokyo Station has the same store but in the end Sendai’s store is just a little…

Yama: Different.

Shizuka: it’s different. That difference is something I look forward to when eating.

(Yama laughs)

[24:47]

Yama: Hanyu what about you? When you come back to Sendai what comes to mind?

Yuzu: About Sendai? Hmm well for me, when I think about Sendai, on the contrary, the image of “Off” (t/n: i.e. day off work) is strong. Of course right now I don’t go out very much, but when I was young I played at places like Nanakita Park.

- Courtesy of PARKFUL

Yama: If I said “besides practice and your off days at home, you don’t spend much time on anything else.” Is this not the case?

Yuzu: No thaaat’s...not really the case either... If you had to pick (between having spare time and no spare time), there is a lot of time that I don’t spend on practice. Rather, if there was anything else I spend time on besides practice, it would be things like gaming or sleeping. Something like that. (laughs)

Yama: A game where victory is at stake.

Yuzu: Winning in a game is….definitely important.

Yama: Is that so?

Yuzu: Definitely, you must not lose.

(everyone laughs)

Yama: Well, it’s that isn’t it, starting from your Mother and Father (you can see Yuzu looking to the side here as he tries to follow the sudden change of topic) to your sibling, your family… seeing these great people when you return makes you relaxed doesn’t it?

Yuzu: I do feel relaxed, yes. Well, I’m together with my mother a lot (t/n: he says parent actually, but also quantifies “two of us”, so I assume he means mother) but when I go to Canada, I can’t help but shift gears and focus on skating. On the other hand, when I come back here to Sendai, after all my family is here and my home is here, so it really makes me feel calm and relieved. But that also means I can’t really get into a skating mentality. (laughs)

Yama: How is it? Going for away, when you think about Sendai, is the thing that comes to mind… the image of your family?

Yuzu: Yes, that’s right. The image of my family comes to mind the most often, mm. Of course, when I come back to Sendai and return to the house, it’s not like there aren’t times when my family isn’t around, because of our schedules. But definitely, if my family is around then it really makes you feel like “Ah I’ve come home”.

Yama: Yes that is the case isn’t it? Well, family, friends and also the fans, the Municipal people, sponsors and many others all came together (to represent) Sendai and have a history of supporting both of you up till now.

[26:37]

Yama: Soon we will go into the off season, how will that be? Hanyu after this, you have WTT correct?

Yuzu: Yes. WTT is in...the official practice sessions start in about 5 days...I really have to do my best (laughs) Please let me practice.

(crowd laughs and applauds)

Yama: You’re a practice machine, aren’t you? (t/n: the phrase is literally “a bug of ___” meaning someone who is extremely passionate about ____. Think “bookworm” in english, except a little more widely applicable)

Yuzu: I’m not that hard working actually (t/n: literally: I’m not a bug), in one day I only practice about 2 hours or so, to the point where I’ve been told “please practice more”.

Yama: Is that so?

Yuzu: But even though it’s a short period of time, I’m very good at concentrating. I’ll really, for 2 hours, I’ll skate and skate till my feet are tearing off.

Yama: That right there might really be the secret of (your) “strength”.

Yuzu: In the end during a competition there’s only 4 and a half minutes (t/n: for FP) and 2mins and 40secs (t/n: for SP), so in order to gain the strength to display (your abilities), there’s nothing better than this (form of practicing).

Yama: Alright, on the other hand (gestures to Shizuka), for this upcoming Olympics we ended up with 2 spots for the ladies. As a professional figure skater (t/n: i.e. non-competitive), is there anything you have to say to the skaters who will be continuing after this?

Shizuka: Yes well, as you’d expect, the world level right now has, together with the Men’s, increased suddenly - well it rises in any generation but - within this (situation) it’ll be 2 spots amongst the many Japanese skaters of amazing quality, so it will be an extremely intense fight to win those 2 places to go to the Olympics for the ladies. Therefore, I think the skaters who win those spots will grow from the fierce competition (t/n: the phrase “shinogi wo kezuru” means literally to fight so hard that the ridge of a Japanese sword is shaved off by the force of the other blade), and be able to skate with confidence at the Olympics.

Yama: It’s often said isn’t it, that the stronger the blades grate on each other within a team, the stronger the team will be, right?

Shizuka: Yes, that’s what I think. When a country where competition is fierce holds competitions nationally, gradually, you can measure the rise in the level of that country’s standard. This is so for Russia too. Although there has been a time when the ladies were not that strong, once many good skaters start appearing, you’ll be able to feel the country’s standard rising accordingly. It’s the same for Japan, and I think that strong generations will still continue on, so soon we will have 3 spots again. Even so, this year whilst watching (the competition), I was reminded again of how hard it is to get 3 spots. This time, in order to fight for those 2 spots, many skaters will raise their level in practice and in competition, and if the ones who can bring out that strength during the competition go strong, then that will be a big step in raising (Japan’s) level again.

Yama: Thank you very much.

[29:23]

Yama: Today we have also asked for everyone to send in questions. Shoji will bring us through the selected questions.

Shoji: Yes, the two of you have shared very interesting conversations with us. Let us now move on to the questions corner. (Yuzu is about to drop his straw here) We hope that both Arakawa and Hanyu will be able to answer some of the questions that the audience have submitted.

Shoji: First, to start with, this question goes to the both of you: “Please tell us your immediate feelings on seeing your own monument.” And here we have prepared the panels with the same design (as the monuments). Please, go ahead.

[picture of their monuments appear behind them]

Shizuka: Ah yes, well truthfully, it does make me feel a little embarrassed. (laughs) Looking at my own photo being turned into a monument like this is an honor on one hand, (but on the other hand) I’m not very comfortable with being the centre of attention and despite that I still managed to do this battle (t/n: Torino), so somehow I always feel embarrassed and always feel anxious (when I look at this) but…..(shifts in her seat to look at the panels) in the end I still feel embarrassed. But, when I look at Hanyu’s (monument) I think it looks cool. (laughs)

Shoji: I see, it’s good to talk about your impression of each other’s monument too. So then, Hanyu, please.

Yuzu: Ahhh, when I compare (mine) to Arakawa’s (t/n: he pauses a while before using the informal “yatsu” to refer to it, which roughly translates to “that one” or “that thing”), I’m really doing a simple pose aren’t I? (everyone laughs)

Shoji: Yes! As if you were saying “I did it!”

Yuzu: It’s the ending pose. Looking at it like this, how do I say this, seeing “Sochi Olympics Men’s Gold Medalist” and then my name right next to those words really makes me, how should I say this, makes me happy. The realisation dawned on me again. Also if you’ll allow me to say one more thing, Shii-chan’s eyes are super wide open! (laughs) I thought “amazing!”. (t/n: Shii-chan is a nickname that Yuzu and the rest of the older skaters call Shizuka, which I didn’t know about! Thanks to @yuzusorbet for letting me know!)

- Courtesy of Japan Times

Shoji: Yes it is quite realistic, that part.

Yuzu: It’s amazing, really. (To Shizuka) You can see, right, when you’re doing it (the layback)?

Shizuka: Yes, I can. Oh you can’t see?

Yuzu: I-I can see but, my, my eyes don’t open that much like that. (t/n: he keeps using the sound “kaa” to emphasize how wide her eyes are open, which is just another Japanese onomatopoeia)

Shizuka: I can see everyone’s faces upside down, in that instant.

Shoji: When Hanyu says “kaa” I too (think her eyes are open wide). The both of you are really impressive figures to us and (Shizuka and Yuzu keep tilting their head backs here, mimicking the layback position) your monuments, to us are really - (laughs) ah you are doing it aren’t you - they will really become a source of encouragement for us. Thank you very much.

[31:30]

Shoji: So let us now move on to the next question, to Shizuka: “I have been doing sports since middle school till I entered the workforce and am still continuing now, but my stamina has been dropping lately and I cannot move as well as I used to. Do you continue (to do sports) every day? Or maybe even aim to do certain things in your daily activities for the sake of skating?”

Shizuka: Yes well, as you’d expect after retiring from competitions, the will to skate on your own begins to weaken, and the time you have to skate becomes less consistent. To continue skating, I make it a point to skate 5 times a week. Whatever I need to do, whichever place I go to or wherever I go, I look for a rink in the area and always go skating 5 times a week. I’ve made up my mind to do so. (audience applauds) That’s definitely because figure skating is something (that relies on) feel. The feeling you have standing on ice doesn’t exist when standing on land, so it’s very easy to lose that feel for the ice. It feels like trying to catch water with a bucket full of holes. If you don’t patch those holes up quickly sometimes you end up losing (that feeling). So to continue, but even if you do continue, as you age you do feel the deconditioning as well as a change in the feel you have for the ice. So for the part that has changed, you need to try and think of something new that you can show whilst trying to cover up (the weakened areas). In the end, that image of yourself at your peak really remains strong in your mind, so if you can’t do better than that you might feel you can’t do anything and get frustrated. But on the other hand, if you select from all the experiences you’ve had thus far, if you’re able to learn something new to display, you’ll be able to do something somehow. So therefore, from middle school, high school and to the first half of your 20s…if you continue the same way into your 30s and 40s, wouldn’t you be a monster? While thinking like that, you have no choice but to do it yourself (t/n: finding a way to continue sports) .

Shoji: Yes I see, standing in the rink is first of all, the best thing to do. But other than that, in your daily life, do you experience any other difficulties?

Shizuka: I’ve stopped being able to overdo things. In the end you’d want to know what will happen if you do a certain something, and right there, if you don’t know your own body, you won’t be able to reach your own target. If you overdo it, the effects on your body are greater with age. So therefore, live trying to connect one day to the next, a day at a time. If doing this one extra step is going to affect tomorrow more, then hold back in order to to be able to continue properly the next day. I’ve slowly learned to take into account these different areas. When you’re young, no matter what point you go to, you can recover from it the next day, but (now) when things aren’t going the way you planned, then think about how you can work together with your own body, the nature and constitution of your own body, and maybe then things will work out.

Shoji: I see. That was a detailed opinion that we can learn from, I wonder if everyone got that? (Yuzu was just nodding this whole time) It’s important to have a conversation with your own body, isn’t it?

[34:41]

Shoji: And so moving on, this is also for Shizuka: When bringing up a child, what is the most important thing?

Shizuka: Yes well, right now I have a 2 year old daughter. Um.. she is starting to develop and change, as she grows. Now when I interact with her, I think a lot about what she might be feeling when she does certain things, or what she might be feeling when she talks. I want to be able to pay close attention to these things.

Shoji: It must be rather difficult to take care of a small child but those feelings are important aren’t they?

Shizuka: Yes for me, the fact that my daughter is 2 years old also means that I, as a mother, am also 2 years old. So I’m still very new and there are many things that I don’t know or that don’t go well, and things I don’t have enough experience in. So we are both learning and I hope that I will eventually be able to face her properly (whilst doing all the above).

Shoji: Thank you very much. (audience applauds) Yes that’s right, you start clapping without realising it right? (t/n: meaning Shizuka’s answer was very praiseworthy)

[35:41]

Shoji: And now, for Hanyu: “The World Championships the other day was wonderful.”

Yuzu: Thank you very much.

Shoji: “I’m in my first year of high school and during my piano recital I played Hope & Legacy. (Yuzu claps) I think it’s a very lovely program. Where did you get the inspiration from for this song? Please let us know.”

Yuzu: First of all, when I first heard this song, the first thing I thought of was “(it’s) very like nature, like all of the universe and creation (t/n: he uses a four character idiom here that essentially refers to both the tangible and intangible aspects of everything that could possibly exist in the universe), something that you couldn’t see with your eyes (all the way through), something that you couldn’t fully grasp the sensation of” - that’s the kind of feeling I got when i first heard the music, and I thought that that’s what I wanted to portray. At the same time, one of the other reasons why I chose this music was because of the piano and because it was Japan’s Mr. Hisaishi Joe’s creation. And lastly, this song, I’ve said this earlier on as well, but this was the opening song for Nagano’s Paralympics too. So in a manner of speaking, as I said earlier, the reason for me to start skating was also the Olympics so, in that sense, I decided to use this song.

Shoji: As expected, the sensitivity (of the song and his reasons) are more polished than usual.

Yuzu: When I hear the song, I start to think “ahh this song is like this, like that” and such, and I skate with those feelings.

Shoji: Are there many times where you felt “Ah! This is it!” (with this song)?

Yuzu: Yes well, of course I normally listen to many different kinds of music and I have come across many different types. But in the end, especially when I’m choosing a song for my program, I listen to many pieces of music and think about how to draw certain things from the music, how is it that I will use my body to draw those things out of the music. That’s how I listen to and think about my music choices.

Shoji: Thank you very much. And so, the last question, this goes to Hanyu. “The skating techniques that you like (Shizuka starts smiling), the skating techniques that you are good at. Please tell us three of them.”

Yuzu: Three. Three? (laughs) First of all, one is the triple - not just the double - Axel. I really love the Axel jump, really, ever since I was young, from when I was under Coach Tsuzuki. I would have 1 hr private lessons with him, out of which 45mins was spent on the Axel. (laughs) I really loved it, but the fact that the Axel is that important a jump is something that I really feel when I’m skating now. Definitely more than anything, in my current program, I think my number one weapon is probably the 3A. In that sense, I do think it was a good thing (that I love it so much). After that...two things that I’m good at...after that is probably the spin, especially the sit spin. The sit spin is really, well, I think probably right from the start my hip joints were flexible, so I can do the sit spin from a really low position and so it’s unexpectedly easier for me to rotate. So I think the reason for that might be my own body’s predisposition. Also, I do feel inside that the sit spin is very easy to match to the music, so in that sense doing it makes me feel good. And one more...yes well....mmm… now maybe it’s the Salchow. Um (he laughs as he hears the crowd’s response)

- Courtesy of sportsphoto CN (uploaded from livejournal)

Shoji: Ah from the audience! “Now? Now?”

Yuzu: Yes now. (laughs) Because I finally managed to jump the Salchow in the 2nd half. But honestly I just like edge jumps. Especially for the Salchow, in that moment you jump it, it’s really… how do I say this…being able to jump without any excess energy and landing with a good flow out of the jump… it’s only the Salchow and Axel (that give me this feeling). Definitely that special feeling comes with the Salchow.

Shoji: I see. You have chosen three with deliberation and introduced them to us. I hope that everyone will look at these moves in a new light and pay more attention to them in the future. Thank you very much.

Yuzu: Thank you very much.

[39:37]

Shoji: We have asked the both of you questions. Really, we had so many questions that they couldn’t be carried with two hands, but I would like to apologise to everyone for the limited time we have and that we could not answer all the questions. This ends the questions corner. (Yuzu mouths thank you again) And now can we please have the three of you come to the front?

Shoji: Today, under the coordination of Yamamoto, we were able to keep the conversation going. However, he will be leaving us at this point. Before that, we would like to ask him: We have 2 Olympic gold medalists here today, both from Sendai. What do you think about the birth of these two (t/n: she means of them coming from Sendai, not their actual birth)?

Yama: From before, the people and atmosphere of Sendai have always treated sports as important and have moved to support those who work hard for the future. Even if you look at other sports, you can tell how much the people of Sendai love sports. Because of these two and what they have left behind, that feeling will spread and inspire the younger generations that come after them. I hope that this sense of continuation will be treasured by everyone. From here on too, we hope to continue watching you for a long time. Thank you very much.

Shoji: We spent a short time together but thank you very much Yamamoto. And now, you both are still here. Yes, we would like to keep watching you for a long time. Today we have asked you to participate in our ceremony and right now in front of us there are these children who are also involved in figure skating. How do you both feel seeing this? Seeing these children who are working hard at skating, Arakawa, how do you feel?

Shizuka: Yes well, if you work hard with everything you have towards something, the time spent will contribute to your growth so really, with your own determination, start something and with your own determination, keep chasing after it. I think that’s important. So looking at everyone now and knowing that everyone is trying their best makes me really happy, so to everyone who has found that something, I hope you will put in all your effort and give it everything you have. If you do that, it will definitely contribute to the other parts of your life, so I hope you will work hard.

Shoji: Yes and Hanyu, you are still, just a little closer to being, a student compared to Arakawa but if you could remember those times and tell us your thoughts?

Yuzu: Yes. After hearing what Arakawa has to say, once again I thought that I need to work hard as well. Figure skating is really a competition that is difficult to balance, be it the feelings, the techniques or the artistry. Of course it is a competition where there’ll be people who like your performance and people who hate it, so I think it’s extremely difficult. But each and every single person has a style of skating that only they can do and that is what is interesting about figure skating. So please, treasure your own (style of) skating, and come to like it, and from here on forward I hope you will continue skating.

Shoji: And now, we will present both Arakawa and Hanyu with bouquets. The ones presenting the bouquets will be children from two local skating clubs (t/n: sorry was too tired to translate the full club or children’s names)

[Presentation of bouquets]

[45:23]

Shoji: Today we are really proud to host you both in this hall. Time really passes when you are having fun. Lastly, may we please have a word from you both? Starting from Arakawa.

Shizuka: Today, being invited here to this kind of unveiling ceremony for the monument, and for letting me take part in this talk show with the special Hanyu, is an honour. I think that from now on many skaters will be brought up in Sendai, but taking full advantage of the chance you have been given is very important, not only in skating but in other areas of your life too. Having something to work towards and put your all in is, to me as well, something to be happy for, so from here onwards too, it would be good to work hard towards that something. Also, I would like to work hard towards reviving figure skating and making it popular again. Everyone please, from here on out, please continue to look after the sport of figure skating. Thank you very much.

Shoji: Thank you very much. Next, Hanyu please.

Yuzu: Yes. I don’t get many chances to speak at places like this. Time really passed by in a flash whilst I was having fun. As someone who benefitted from her words, I too want to express my gratitude to Arakawa (he stresses this word and bows to her). I listened to a lot of things and had fun, and it’s come to an end so quickly. From here I will once again, for WTT - even though it really is very close - I will take what I learned here and work hard. I hope that figure skating will continue to develop here in Sendai and with that wish, I would like to end today here. Thank you very much.

(skipped the rest of the video)

End

Thank you Sendai for the wonderful HQ footage and great interview, it was really nice to see them so relaxed. This took a lot more effort translating than I initially thought, so again thank you so much to @raomina and those who messaged me and left notes. I hope we can all enjoy WTT! :))

#yuzuru hanyu #shizuka arakawa #sendai monument #fstranslation #interview #this was a really long project #shizuka uses too many running sentences!!#thanks for reading so far #and raomina i love you #you rock #ゆずガンバー！

172 notes · View notes

thelittlestai · 4 years

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((okay hello hello ya baby boi is BACK. mostly because we were talking RVB as we do and i thought of how adorable it would be theta’s cheek lit up with double symbols when he blushed and then it was a tumble from there. ))

((here’s what i’ve been up to!))

okay so it looks like i’ve been gone for about a year... let’s see. i got started on testosterone... I quit the job i had at that point and moved to a different city because my boyfriend got a promotion. I tried to get a job and landed one right away, but I only made it 3 weeks before I was fired. That was in January of this year because honestly NOTHING happened much until we moved. Anyway, after I was fired I tried to kill myself. I stayed in the worst mental health hospital i’ve ever been to (3 of them oops), and finally got on meds that work for me and a therapist.

So that’s about everything pre pandemic. Oh. I also started a pride group that consists mostly of teenagers so if i make ooc posts about my kids, that’s who i mean. i don’t have biological children.

I’m planning on meeting with a surgeon to discuss my top surgery soon, too.

Hmm... Oh! I have 2 boyfriends now. Yeah, my boyfriend and I didn’t want to break up but i didn’t want to regret staying with the same person for the rest of my life either and he doesn’t want to get married so we opened our relationship.

I found a job that doesn’t make me wanna shove a knife in my chest, but that’s had its problems as well... take this copy/paste rant from facebook:

my coworker and i got into a pretty intense fight. She had spent the day on her phone, trying to track down a friend. Why? well.

Said friend had stolen his family's truck his family said that SHE was the ONLY ONE who could get in contact with him. His entire family shows up to tell her this in person. Someone other people show up and there’s almost a fight??? This causes a customer's concern, and our manager has to break up the fight.

Shit like this... happens more often than not. And I was always fairly lenient with her when she ended up disappearing while on the clock. She was a hard worker when she was actually working, so the occasional leeway felt fair to me.

But this was... quite a day. Her friend finally shows up at our store and she decides that he should sleep off his heroin high in her car. Which is parked right in front of the door. And the car door is opened. Again, I receive a worried comment from a customer.

And shes like? telling every single person who comes into the store what's happening with her friend, like 10-15 minute convos. Per person. And when she wasn't doing that, I literally could not find her anywhere.

Now, my mental health and anger issues have improved a LOT over the past few months but there's always a limit. Mine was after dealing with several customers in a row while STILL not being able to find her. I ended up taking care of them all. Which doesn’t seem like that big of a deal but as far as I’m aware, since I can’t find her, she might as well have not been there at all.

After the store cleared out, I said "Hey, I'm kinda pissed at you." and when I told her that it was because she hadn't done anything all day, she lost her goddamn mind.

She started yelling at me, saying she had been working all day and that the cameras (which i guess weren't watching me doing all the work somehow magically?) would show what she had been doing. She said that I wasn't that boss and that I couldn't tell her what to do and that i couldn't talk to her like that. She complained about how all this drama was doing to get her fired and she accused me of threatening her. Which. I wasn't. And the whole time she's calling me a little girl, calling me crazy, calling me a dyke, calling me a liar, telling me that she knows that she's a girl, unlike me.

Now. This is a lot to unpack and if your mind doesn't explode because of the hypocrisy, I'd be surprised. She has said to me, personally, that she: 1. claims to be bisexual, 2. was called 'son' by her dad until he had a biological boy. 3. prefers dressing masculine and is 'one of the dudes' - having mostly male friends. 4. has PTSD and ADHD and is medicated for her ADHD.

So basically, just a HELL of a lot of self projecting. She also threatened to bash my head in and that she didn't care about getting in trouble.

I am 1000% done and i’m calling the cops (like ACAB but like im not gonna not when there’s a threat to my life and an overdosed junkie in the parking lot)

I tell my manager what happened. Her response? "You didn't finish the cleaning list." and "Can you still work with her?" Like. WHAT?!

So I get home and I'm contacting HR, legal services, the ACLU, anyone I can think of because I'm not about to let any of this shit fly.

I hear back from the HR rep for my district. She is PISSED as hell and wants to know everything. I put the store on blast, hardcore. Not only explaining the situation, but letting her know that no one on second shift that i work with wears uniforms or masks and that I, still a relatively new employee, am constantly left to run shifts by myself.

My manager wants an incident report on Monday. I oblige and make my way to the store about 2 hours before my shift. I get a call from an assistant manager, asking me if I can come in early. I'm already on my way there, so i say 'fine'. It's 2:45 pm when I clock in and she isn't even there yet. She shows up around 3 and the assistant sends her home. I have never known her to be on time, either.

While I’m at Seeker’s, I get a message from my boss saying that she’s been fired. And then the manager and two other people quit. So I’m kinda like ‘uhhhhh? did I? do that?”

Oh and she was fucking ARRESTED ON 4 FELONY CHARGES!

the fact that this is the biggest thing i can report on is kinda sad but like. it’s also the most bizarre and memorable thing to happen this year so.

#personal #ooc #out of trust #long post

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bandwpanda · 5 years

Text

piece of work

[...]

“Jake?” Lottie said, looking at his soft eyes and the bright smile, whereas he was dying inside.

“Yes?”

“I thought you were sleeping.”

“No, Sam said I’d slept for fourteen hours, it was enough for me.”

“How long do you usually sleep?”

“Well, that depends, but at most nights I sleep for like... maybe three hours, sometimes I don’t sleep at all.”

“Jake, you know that it’s wrong, right?”

“Yeah, I tried to change it, but I couldn’t, I can’t sleep.”

“Oh, baby.” Lottie said with tearful voice, pushing Jake’s weak body closer to hers, and hugging him tighter. “Please, don’t do that to yourself.”

“I don’t do anything, I just have severe sleeping issues.”

“You’re too thin, Jakey. Your cheeks are more... concave? When did you eat anything last time? And, please, don’t lie, I’m here to help you.”

Inside his broken heart and lost soul he knew that Lottie, the love of his life, was right. He could not keep lying about his eating disorder, self-harm, depression and suicidal thoughts that he has been having for about two years. Suddenly he felt guilty, what his eyes showed.

“Jakey?” she attracted his attention. “Tell me, what’s really going on?”

“I- I don’t know.”

“Jake, please.”

“I’m serious, Lottie.” Jake tried to hide his tearing up eyes, as he knew that it was not a good move to cry in the front of Lottie, because in that case she would find the truth about him out. “Everything is just fine.”

“Oh, honey, then why are you crying?” she wiped the tear streaming down his pale face. “Please, don’t lie. This one time, please.”

“I just- it's too complicated... And I- I don’t know what’s ha- happening to me.” Jake closed his eyes, and so many tears appeared on his concave cheeks.

Lottie kept holding his tiny body in her arms, but when she saw the first tears, she wanted to cry, too. For her it was a broken-hearting view. Lottie swayed him carefully, as she knew that it was one of the things that were able to calm him down, especially if she was with him during the cry, panic attacks or something even worse.

“Baby, you’re safe.” she whispered to Jake, when he tightened his fist on the material of her shirt.

“I know.” he barely said. “Just take this pain away from me.” he muttered.

“Shh, you’re safe, I’m here.” Lottie kept rocking him in the way like she was rocking a baby to sleep.

It took Jake a long time to calm down, what ended up him falling asleep in Lottie’s arms. He was, finally, breathing peacefully, even though the skin around his eyes, nose and cheeks was flushed and swollen. Lottie covered him with a warm, light blanket.

Around 6PM Lottie went to Sam’s and Danny’s room, leaving Jake alone in his bedroom.

“How’s Jake?” Sam asked when he noticed Lottie coming in.

“Well, he’s sleeping. He’s been crying for over three hours and couldn’t calm down so let him sleep.” the girl explained. “He’s very tired, thin and weak. Does he even eat anything?”

“Mostly, I think so. If he doesn’t... Well, he’s good at hiding emotions and feelings in that case... I don’t know, he usually eats something, especially when he’s with us.” Josh said after a moment of thinking.

“Oh, okay, well, he’s too skinny and small, that’s why I’m asking.”

“I know, we’re all worried about him.”

“I know. I just... I could feel and see his ribs and hips. He looks literally like a walking corpse. God... I don’t want to go to his funeral.”

“None of wants it to happen.” Sam said, looking at Ariana. “That’s the last thing I want to attend to.”

“Me neither.” Josh agreed with his younger brother. “Well, let’s talk about something different than this.”

“Let’s talk about music!” Ariana said louder than she should, what only highlighted her attitude.

“Sure, why not.” Danny nodded. “So, the Grammys?”

“Don’t tell me! No, stop right there.” Ariana moved her hand on Sam’s. “No, no, no.”

“Why? You wanted to start it?” Josh was surprised but not disappointed that much.

“She has a huge crush on Ariana Grande.” Lottie explained. “That’s why. She couldn’t stop talking about her and the Grammys two days ago.” she laughed lightly.

“I see.”

Ariana’s cheeks became flushed.

~~~~

Three days later Josh, Jake, Sam, Danny, Ariana and Lottie were to Los Angeles. It was because of the situation connected to Jake and his bad mood and mental health, of course Lottie was very concerned about it. She would never let him to go anywhere alone, which he understood. Her company was making him happier than he could ever imagine.

At boys’ house Lottie helped Jake to unpack his bags, and after it, when he was in the bathroom doing bathroom toilettes, she began preparing a meal, light enough for his damaged stomach.

“I’m back.” Jake came to the spacious kitchen. “What are you doing?”

“You have to eat something, so I’m preparing a very light meal for you.”

“I told you already, I don’t want to eat.”

“But you have to.”

“No, Lottie.”

“Yes, Jake, you’re too skinny, I can see your ribs and hips, and to be honest, your condition scared me.” she responded with a very harsh tone of voice. “If you won’t eat, then I’m fucking out, because I really can’t stand your talking about not being hungry, even if I fucking can hear your stomach, the fuck are you thinking about?! Do you seriously want everyone to be worried about you and your shitty condition?! What dream are you living in?! I’m fucking out if you won’t touch this meal. Not everything is about you! I’m trying to make you feel better and you still can’t look at the fucking food. I cared about you, I stayed up all night with you, just because you wanted to talk about some stupid things that don’t even matter to me even though I all I wanted to do was going to sleep. I paid you all my fucking attention, just because you can’t notice that you’re important to me. And still, you keep acting like a whole dick and can’t understand that we’re also scared. They won’t tell you that, they don’t want you to know that they’re scared to a fucking death of losing you.”

Jake looked down on his bare feet, as his hands were playing with each other. He knew Lottie was right, but could not admit it. His eyes teared up.

“I’m tired of your shit. Keep doing that and you’ll going to end up dead in the fucking bath.” she added and left the kitchen.

Jake was guilty. He felt like this, but he would never use his friends or brothers to feel sorry for him. It was the right time to rebuild his mental health, and health in general.

The boy sat down on the chair, thinking about his best friend’s words. And now, because of him she was gone. Of course, not out of his life, although he had that feeling.

Lottie sat on the cold floor in the bathroom and hid her face in her hands. He overreacted, and accidentally hurt one of the most important people in her life, but she was right.

Twenty minutes later she came downstairs to the kitchen, noticed Jake sitting on one of the chairs in the dining room.

“Can we talk?” she asked, coming up to him.

“I think you’ve done it for both of us...”

“Jake, no, you know that I’m never tired of you.”

“Actually... I know, you’ve said enough. There’s nothing we can talk about.”

“There is. Well, firstly, you deserve an apology. I shouldn’t have said those words, I didn’t mean it.”

“I know you, Lottie, I’ve known you for a solid part of my life. Now just... leave me alone.”

“Jake...”

“I said something. I don’t want to talk to you for now.”

Jake got up and went upstairs straight to his bedroom, laid on the bed and covered his whole body with a blanket, which smelled like Lottie, what caused him to think about her. He took an album full of their pictures, some of them were took surprisingly out of nowhere when none of them expected it, some were like those amazing photoshoots for Calvin Klein. He felt that little spark called happiness inside his broken heart, and he smiled. That was a beautiful moment.

“Jake?” Lottie stood in the doorpost, watching his behaviour.

“What do you want this time? Yell at me? Well, do it.” he responded sarcastically, and she rolled her eyes.

“I don’t want to yell at you, not again, you didn’t deserve it.”

“Nevermind. What do you want?”

“I just wanted to check on you.”

“I’m still, somehow, alive.”

“You know I didn’t mean this.” she sat next to him on his bed. “Why are you looking at our old pictures?” she took a peek at one of the mentioned pictures. In this one was her and Jake in the middle of the woods, taken probably in their high school. “I remember this.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, you were fifteen then.” she laughed.

“So were you, honey.”

“I know, I’m not that old.”

“I missed this.” he claimed after few seconds of silence between them.

“What? The laugh?”

“Yes, I missed your laugh.”

“That’s so cute.”

“I know.” he laughed again.

Jake pushed her closer to him, and she wrapped her arms around Jake’s waist and lied her head on his chest.

“Do you have more albums of us?”

“I have some pictures of us with Ariana, Sam, Josh and Danny.”

“Aww that’s sweet.”

She looked at Jake’s bright eyes. The sparks were dancing in their eyes, while looking at each other. He kept her close to him, and she did not take her arms. Jake placed his hand on her cheek, and kissed her very gently. Lottie kissed him back. They opened their eyes in order to look at each other, once again. Bright smiles were true ones, without faking any second of this delicate moment. Jake wished this moment could last forever.

“You’re sweet.” Jake whispered against her face.

“Aww, no, you’re sweeter.”

“No.”

“You’re sweet when you’re trying to deny some facts.”

“Okay, let’s be it.” Jake smiled.

“Can we talk?”

“We’re talking now.”

“Yeah, I know, but seriously... Like... Serious talk?”

“Okay.”

“Are you making yourself starve?”

Jake’s eyes became more serious than barely seconds before, and darkened.

“Wha- What do you mean?”

“Well, at the hotel, two days ago, I was thinking about it, and I connected the facts in my mind. You’re very skinny, I can see and feel your ribs and hips, literally a lot of your bones, and you don’t want to eat anything, despite the fact that I can hear your stomach, but also, you’re weak and boys told me that you keep passing out after a lot of psychical effort, including playing on the stage and that sometimes you have to hold on to something in order not to fall down on the floor.”

“Oh.” he did not have enough bravery inside to admit that Lottie was right. Lowkey he hoped she will not notice his uncertainty. However, he did not want to disappoint her.

He looked down on his hands wrapped around Lottie’s waist, hugging her, but his mind and thoughts were somewhere far away than Los Angeles. On the other hand, she was staring at his scared eyes. In that moment she found out the truth and answers to her questions she had been asking long, long before.

“Uhm... I- Well...” he started slowly, as he could not find the proper words to say something, and his eyes were showing the lost.

“You don’t have to answer to my question if you don’t want to.” Lottie placed her hand on his left cheek, what caused Jake to look at her. “I can see that you feel lost.”

“I just... I had some problems.”

“That’s alright. I won’t push you to your limits. I know that damaged people need some time to admit that there’s something wrong with themselves. You need time, I see.”

“No, Lottie. I need you, you know? It’s always been you.” he said on one breath. “It’s always been you.” the boy repeated his own words. “I just- Well, I- It all is connected to you.”

“What? Why?”

“Remember that one day in our high school when we went to San Francisco instead of going to our classes?” Lottie nodded gently, still looking at the boy, who kept talking. “Then we almost kissed on that bridge. I didn’t forget. Then I knew... I fucking knew that I- I actually loved you.” a single tear ran down Jake’s pale cheek only to be wiped by the girl, who was listening very carefully.

Lottie opened her eyes wide, not being able to say anything. That was too much for her to take at once. It was not only the fact that he admitted to having eating disorders, being depressed, but also that he loved her. The girl who was always independent, cared only about herself, excluding important people in her life, but still, she would not find this secret out if she were not sitting right here on the bed with the right person after talking to other people, even if it was on the phone or texts. Her face was showing surprise, a big one. That confession was not exactly the one she has ever expected.

“You... Jake...” Lottie whispered, trying to find right words to say.

“I love you, Lottie.”

0 notes

aliceinwonderland2017centur-blog · 7 years

Text

Pat Handy /North Eastern Library

Disclaimer--- Um this is actually not a complaint. Im pretty sure me not being able to get into my account was done purposefully maliciously and illegally. No matter how white you are you still have to follow the law someone has mistakenly told you because you hold authority you can use a platform to conspire in criminal behavior. Please dont come after me with a gun. Another thing about white people I didnt care that you existed I didnt want to get into a war of brains with you I want to be another anonymous user but no you turned criminal got a negative reaction a verbal asswhooping that all 6 year old gets when they show their ass and yet you claim to be mad. Dont comphrend that when you misbehave an asswhooping follows. Sadly you are more than likely in business attire in fucking stray jacket white skin believing you are somehow entitled to act recklessly and there not be consequences. Its just not true. Im sorry no sir WAKE THE FUCK UP. Be a fucking business professional. You like a civilized proefessional annonymous world right. Imagine if I coudl track you down. and posion your food. Fuck with your phone youre internet done even know you. You do. You will not pick me out the fucking crowd and then say I need to watch my fucking MOUTH. Something something ---Yourself. iNAPPROPRIATE.

SO lets start with Pat Handy.

Pat Handy is a shelter for women. When I first arrived I wasn’t entirely impressed with their intake process due to the long wait. But Neither hear nor there. Its over and done I got in. A short while later it comes to my attention that Pat Handy has policies that are not productive to homeless women or women period. Productive to human beings. Their behavior is so the last thing everyone was thinking. No matter fact no one was thinking it. Ive threatened a suit numerous of times actually written out a complaint and it will be posted in this post. Ive actually gotten this line a few times from police as well. But there are probably atleast five policies or regulations that need fixing overnight. Like not putting them in place was equal to it was done purposefully. Im in a shelter for a reason. Im down on my luck. Im in a time of need. I find it perplexing that people went out their way to build a shelter but they didnt take the proper steps to have a functioning shelter. Its really not my jobs to be on twiitter and tumblr doing someone else's job to get things done. I don’t have the means the money or the time much like the SHELTER implies. Homeless. How you expect people who need help to one do your job but two get out of this TEMPORARY situation and Maintain where they lay their head without the help of the shelter is Crazy. I will admit I’m one of the luckier ones. I have money. Limited but I have money. Sadly Ive spent money just trying to maintain what I'm use to. What I would do if I were home. And protecting myself from outside things. Surprisingly enough it adds up to alot of money, which takes away from the money I need to leave. I’ve written numerous of emails to staff and the Managers of the building but they seem unphased by what I consider unsettling situations. At the very least very unaccommodating and uncompromising for sensitive situations. I did for the time being before recent events walk away from the suit for numerous of reasons. Among them a safety concern. People make you scratch your head when they go out of their way to cause problems. Sadly there are NUMEROUS OF unsettling things wrong with Pat Handy. But the one that has come to my attention as of recent I cant stomach. Over and Over again Pat Handy's staff has shoved their unchangeable uncompromising policy down our throats. The biggest one that has me scratching my head is that all residences have to leave the building at 7 am and return at 4 pm on weekdays and leave at 9 am on weekdays and return at 4 pm on weekends. Its a policy I have adjusted to out of sheer necessity but there are alot of bad mornings bad days. But Sunday is still a hard pill to swallow there is absolutely no where to go till 1 pm. Just recently I became sick. I was diagnosed with gastritis due to some bad food (MORE ON THIS LATER) Two staff members saw that I was sick vomiting and diaherrea. I then went to the hospital. After returning from the hospital on the 13th I asked one of the advocates on my floor if I could go lay down. I also showed her my ER paperwork. Suprisingly I was fought on bedrest and was told that I had to have some long DRAWN out thing stating HOW LONG the bedrest was suppose to be and for what reasons. Obviously I'm not feeling well so I didnt plan to be sick I don't know to ask the doctor for a book on my recovery process and quite frankly its an emergency room I saw the doctor for 10 15 minutes. Sick. PRESCRIPTION. Why are you going out of your way to fight me on bed rest? Firstly IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE TO ask for anything in the heat RETURNING from the hospital because im what? sick. That makes no sense. And to be quite honest its tacky Im actually sick but how tacky is it that a doctor needs to jump through hopes to convince a shelter something they should already be providing SHELTER. lmao. It really gets no better. The ER paperwork didn't go into detail about bedrest but it was stated that bedrest is suggested. Everything was vague and should have been taken with a grain of salt. No one person is the same. I actually have asked 4 times since my hospital visit for Bedrest. the last one being when Police were called on the 17th. I wont lie about the situation became exacerbated when I realized there were women staying in doors who are not sick while the rest of us sit outside in the heat looking like zoo animals. Unfortunate for the shelter these women are light and white its offensive and disrespectful. It really sends the wrong message. I am sick and I need to prove to them im sick before I can lay down and rest these women have nothing wrong with them and they are inside. I will post emails between me and the shelter. What's even more offensive the white woman Ive had problems with. It looks alot she was rewarded. I had no idea ANYONE was inside during the hours of 7 and 4. I was aware there are people on bedrest, people who are sick but I was under the impression the POLICY applied to everyone. They way it should be.

These women are still sitting up in the shelter as we speak. Are required to go no where in the heat. The shelter tells on themselves if you are suppose to be there you are not in the mirror putting make up on in your pajamas as a COVER five minutes before departure time. You are sick you are employed you don't need a cover right? Exactly Goodbye. A lie. White. Thinks things magically falls from the sky. W e are talking about Pat Handy so they are aware Im upset about light bright and spoiled milk sitting inside while we squats on fucking bricks and on cement for an hour and half pointless while business professionals walk by for the morning communute.

Let me put here We are treated like humans when hyporthermia alert comes on but for cold weatehr its I believe 32 and below and for hotweather I think its like 95 and above r something likethat. Watch PH top me. We missed it by a degree and we are outside on cycles. Fucking sad and ridiculous and they touting A FEMALES names

Moving on to Problem Child Number 2

Northeastern Library 7th street NE Washington, DC

Ive been going to that library for the past little while maybe a few weeks maybe a few months. Outside the no phone calls at the computer There were no issues. And even that was business related. I mind my business and im in and and out. Im looking for work. Don't know anyone beyond a familiar face. Around maybe a few days before the 11th of July maybe a week im not sure. Im noticing my computer is having suspicious activity that disrupts my work. obviously its very possible for technical issues to arise but three is too many times and noone else is having issues. I send a complaint via the website computer is messing up too many times and noone else is having problems. I literally have to closeout all programs three times. And I wont lie its not the best day but the library was none the wiser. Minding my business haven't said anything to anyone. I get an email following that incident days later. The woman who intercepted my message via the library's website tried to imply she didnt know what library I was referring to. This is possible but I personally find it unlikely. It was sent from a Library computer and I typed in Northeastern Library so I find it hard to believe she doesn't know what library Im referring to. AT that point it would appear like she is playing a game or attempting to cover for whomever. But she could have covered for whomever and just kept her mouth closed. She messy end of discussion. I respond with this message

Start Emails

Please excuse me for the tone of this email but quit frankly I wasn't expecting to have to hold the hand and do your job. I really didn't want to have to respond at all. Ive written two emails. Ive enclosed pictures to show you--whether or not someone incompetently put together a website or it;S DC policy TO hire stupid people and make it MY JOB TO figure our your JOB or YOU KNOW PRECISELY and this is another game I am hesitant to call and put a stop to. It came from A dc library computer. You have my card number. I really hate to jump to conclusions. But people make it hard these days to come in and do mind their business and leave. I don't have time for this. I'm here for a reason to conduct business my business that has nothing to do with you. I don't have time to write complaints. Ive enclosed pictures. Hopefully someone gets paid to CONNECT DOTS.

-----Original Message----- From: Ward, Deborah A. (DCPL) (DCPL) <[email protected]> To: --- Sent: Mon, Jul 3, 2017 10:00 am Subject: RE: [General Topic] Computer Freezing

Which library were you visiting on Friday, June 30?

Thanks

-----Original Message----- From: [email protected] [mailto:[email protected]] Sent: Friday, June 30, 2017 2:52 PM To: Fayemi, Temitayo (DCPL); Ward, Deborah A. (DCPL) Subject: [General Topic] Computer Freezing

----sent a message using the contact form at https://www.dclibrary.org/contact.

So I've been on this computer for about maybe an hour to an hour half and its frozen maybe three times in the last twenty minutes. I did ask someone else if there computer is freezing and there's was not. I'm not sure if its a technical issue but Its off my computer is freezing three times in an hour.

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Surprising enough this happened the same day as the emails on the eleventh. I did not send the emails until after I returned on the 13th. The emails were going to be sent should another situation arise. One presented itself the same day whether they are responsible I still am not sure. The library is not cooperative which places doubt on them and due to their behavior following the incident and after I filed the police report I start leaning into asshwooping territory unfortunately.

Following the incident with the library the email pasted above sent to Ms. Ward on the 11th was the last email I sent before being sick by food poisoning the same day. I sometimes go to 7 eleven that next door But that day I stuck to my usual a croissant which is packaged. Later that day around the time im doing laundry I go to Walgreens (Nesquick) and 7 eleven (beefpattie) (one usual beef pattie is sporadic) . I'm doubled over sick by the end of the night. Ive talked to 7 eleven while nothings certain leaning towards Walgreens.

The library is boldy unapologetic and even if they had nothing to do with still very much up for debate You are A business you are being paid to be a business professional which I have not seen. Not only does the situation demand a response I requested a response. To your fifty cent credit thats how much its worth considering I was poisoned and You are a likely candiate. Im mean. ANd disrespectful AND IM NOT apologetic. Look AT HOW YOU behave. They all need new lives that's how bad those emails were. LMAO it makes me feel better. Nose in the air. And im still taller then you I dont see anything. You are being paid. These are rules and policy you have to follow. So sorry about it. Sucks for you.

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